#I do during the random craving periods but otherwise I don’t even think I like ice cream all that much

[deityofhearts]

hhhh today is just. such a blah day

[larenoz]

Guerenti - Michael and Kyle - I Like It

I’ve been Team Guerenti for a while now, but it’s a ship I want to see in fic, not in canon (because of my thoughts about the importance of straight Kyle). For me it’s also based on my thoughts about what happened in Roswell while Liz and Alex were away. I don’t see either of them returning to Roswell often. If they did, they kept there interactions to a very limited number of people (ie not Max or Michael). So my thoughts are definitely grounded in what happened to the people who stayed in Roswell during the Lost Decade, especially Michael, Maria and Kyle.

We know that Kyle spent a fair bit of time outside of Roswell at the start of the Lost Decade, getting his degree, doing his residency etc. It’s during this period that Kyle’s outlook and attitudes undergo a fairly massive change, so that when he returns to Roswell he is a changed man.

For me that period where Kyle returns to Roswell and starts to integrate himself back into the life of the town is the period where he and Michael start to interact. I don’t see Michael and Kyle having interacted much during high school, but Michael was very aware of how Kyle treated Alex, and how Kyle’s taunts applied to him as well, even if no one knew it. Since Kyle does his emotional growth while outside of town, the first step in their relationship developing is Michael seeing that Kyle has changed.

There are any number of scenarios for how this could happen but since we know Michael is a hard no for doctors and hospitals, their connection has to happen outside of the hospital. For me, the scene I always imagine is something like Michael finds Kyle sitting in his car on the side of the road that’s broken down. He initially starts out giving Kyle a hard time but realises pretty quickly that Kyle isn’t taking the bait. In fact he’s on the verge of tears. Cause Kyle has had a REALLY bad day at work, lost a favourite patient or couldn’t save someone or some other tragedy. Something that makes Michael begin to realise that maybe Kyle isn’t the person he remembers.

So Michael stops giving him a hard time, hooks up his car and drives him back to town. On the way he checks in with Kyle, does he want him to call anyone for him, his mum etc. Kyle says no but he takes note of Michael being kind.

That then sort of begins Kyle noticing Michael around town, seeing him quietly helping people, doing odd jobs for free or for barter. And Kyle starts to realise that maybe there’s more to Michael than the macho cowboy swagger that he presents to the world.I think Kyle seeing Michael help people, especially those who might otherwise slip through the cracks or have nowhere else to go would be something that flags Michael as a caring person willing to act on that compassion.

In turn, Michael sees Kyle helping people with their medical issues where he can, fixing minor wounds, health advice, maybe prescriptions etc. These interactions then go from random to deliberate, from the 18+ Discord discussion, which totally sums up how I see it playing out:

“Over a series of encounters-- Kyle happens by as Michael is helping someone who has spun out into a ditch and they need some medical help.... Michael gets Kyle to stitch up a bartender's hand at the Pony when he slices it on a broken glass, etc... they start to build a rapport and trust with each other. And the supports keep getting bigger-- Michael drives a kid who was injured in a fight to the hospital, gets Kyle to treat him because he's figured out the kid is half-fallen through the cracks like he was and needs the help. He fixes Kyle's car for free in return. Comes to Kyle one time because he's trying to get Sanders to get his blood pressure checked, since the guy keeps having dizzy spells. Kyle comes to the junkyard to do it...stays for a beer. Kyle gets Michael to fix a patient's car because the finances are so tight that the mom is having to ration her insulin and is about to lose her job because she can't afford to fix the car that gets her to work.” (@daughterofelros)

All of this slowly builds up trust and a grudging respect between the two. But being who they are (especially Michael), they both fight it and their interactions are all snark and sharp edges.

“I see them as very... hungry and unintentionally self-soothing with each other and just like, this connection they can't understand but can't get away from. Like all rational thought leaves their head when the other is close.

like those moments of softness are something they crave but never ever acknowledge or talk about bc they're terrified to admit they actually care about each other.” (@chasingshhadows)

Eventually, one day after seeing Michael trying to work with an injury, Kyle forces him to sit down, looks after the wound (feeding my very strong H/C kink, ngl) and then, one thing leads to another....

Both Michael and Kyle strike me as action oriented people. Despite what some people on the show seem to think, Michael is constantly helping people. He comes across as very service oriented, very action oriented (even if he doesn’t always think those actions all the way through). He doesn’t trust what people say, people lie. People have spent his entire life judging Michael and getting it very wrong. He assesses (not judges) people by their actions, not what they say. So he needs to SEE Kyle be this changed person, and that’s what happens over the Lost Decade.

For his part, Kyle is also very action oriented, although he manifests that in being hyper-focused in all that he does (he only has 30 seconds to talk to Jesse on his run!!). But that focus is tempered by compassion and the Valenti Code and while Michael may not necessarily always act within the law, because he acts from a place of care and compassion, he is unknowingly acting with the Valenti Code, especially when it comes to protecting his family - who for Michael have ALWAYS been more than blood.

So, that's my random Guerenti thoughts. What have I missed? What have I gotten wrong?

Guerenti Fics

“small towns make for small friends” by @AnnCherie -

“This Hard Lie” by @lambourn - Chapter 5 of the “This Hard Life” stories focused on Michael Guerin.

Guerenti on Ao3

Shout out to @lambourngb, @chasingshhadows, @daughterofelros, @finditagain24

[undertaker1827]

Hello!!! I hope you are doing well and keeping as sane as possible in these wild times, if it's not too much to ask would I be able to request some headcanons for Undertaker and Joker that got their partner pregnant? Thank you so much!! 💞💞

Hello!! I am and I hope you are too!! Of course you can, I’m sorry these took so long!

Masterlist

-

Undertaker

Undertaker is, in general, very protective of you

He’s not possessive or easily made jealous (he trusts you more than that) but he knows only too well how unpredictable other humans are

So he’s always there to look out for you

But now

Now

His previous protectiveness seems like nothing

Honestly, if someone says something to try and upset you, and god forbid someone tries to hurt you physically, this reaper would have like zero reservations

Lets just say the person would instantly regret their choice

But he wouldn’t go that far over any and every small thing

He’d scare the other person enough that they would never speak to bother you again, but he wouldn’t attack someone for yanno, looking at you the wrong way or something else fairly insignificant

He just cares so much about you and the unborn child and he knows how difficult all of this is going to be for you, so he just wants to make sure the whole nine months go as smoothly as possible

If there’s anything at all you need, literally anything, he’s your guy

If it’s on the other side of the world he’ll be there and back within the day

If you’re particularly clumsy, he’s practically glued to your side around the house to make sure you don’t trip, hit or otherwise damage yourself

HUGS AND CUDDLES

Oh man well we already know Undertaker has no sense of personal space. If there was even the slightest sense of it, that got thrown out the window as soon as you got together, so if you want physical affection you’re with the right guy

Cuddles in bed, on the sofa, in the armchair

Random hugs from behind literally all the time

Undertaker’s really there for the physical affection, he just likes to have some sort of contact with you at all times really

If you get cravings, no matter what they are, he’ll cater to them

I get the feeling he’s actually pretty good at cooking, so from now on he does most of it unless you really enjoy doing it/want to help

If you tell him he should let you cook at least some of the meals as its not fair for him to have to do all of them, he is literally not beyond taking your shoulders and steering you back to wherever you came from to make you continue doing whatever you were doing

The next thing you know, you’ll have a hot cup of tea as well

If you’re in any pain at all, he’s the person there is to comfort you

You think cuddles will help you feel better? He’s practically engulfed you into his chest before the words have left your lips

You’d rather keep a bit of distance but you’d still like to watch a film or read a book together with a nice cup of tea? Sounds good too, the tea is the best you’ve ever tasted

At the first kick, you were both absolutely overjoyed

Undertaker picked you up and gently twirled you round, a huge daft grin plastered over his face and eyes sparkling

As I said before, he’s there for anything you need

If you take up some random hobby that no one’s ever heard of, he magically knows all about it and just ‘happened’ to have exactly what you need lurking in the back of one of his cupboards

He manages to get the most outrageous food to satisfy your cravings, knows exactly what you need just from your tone of voice and is honestly the best person you could hope for to be with during this period of your life

Joker

Joker is, like Undertaker, very protective of you, though he does lean into the possessive/jealous area just a skosh (he’s only human, after all…)

For their sake, hope nobody disrespects you in his presence (or that he finds out about it later on)

Words would be his main weapon, though if necessary, he’s not beyond using violence

That said, its all a bit of a front really

He’s very soft and caring with you, he just worries that you’re not safe with other people that you don’t know

Being somewhat connected to the underworld, he does worry that something from his life will come to haunt yours and he wants to prevent that at all costs

He loves you dearly and for your sake wishes he could sever all ties with the dark world, but of course its not as easy as all that

All he can hope to do is protect you from the shadowy parts of his life (which is exactly what he does)

He is very accommodating of everything that happens with you throughout the nine months

If you have cravings, he doesn’t have the same access to things as Undertaker but by god he will try his hardest

If he is unable to get exactly what you want, he gets the next closest thing, which often turns out to be better than what you asked for in the first place

Full of apologies if he couldn’t get it, whatever ‘it’ is, but says he’ll make it up to you by cooking something special and by giving you lots of hugs and whatever else you want

Joker does like physical affection, perhaps to a lesser degree than some, but its really all about what you want

If you find hugs and the like comforting, he’s more than willing to provide them, equally, if its less your thing, he’s there for that too

As long as you tell him what you want/what would make you happy, he will do it for you to the best of his ability

He wasn’t there for the very first kick, but as soon as he got home from work you told him all about it and he was absolutely thrilled, if not slightly disappointed that he missed it

You just promise him he’ll be there for the next one

But he gently rests his cheek on your stomach, greeting the unborn child and telling him or her how proud he is of them, and their mother (cue a quick glance and a smile in your direction) and promises he’ll always be there to protect them, no matter what

He then stands back up to embrace you, smiling into your hair and filled with a warm happiness that he hasn’t felt for a very long time

Joker has read up on all the things you may go through as a pregnant woman and the best way to combat all of them

He is honestly so prepared that you have to jokingly ask him if there was anything he missed out, like maybe an extra kitchen sink in case the current one broke

He goes and gets you all sorts of things he thinks you’ll like

One day, you come downstairs to find a book you had been fawning over, sometimes you’re greeted with a bunch of your favourite wild flower, but there’s always a cup and teabag waiting for you on the counter, when you wake up and Joker has already left the house, with a note telling you how much he loves you and that he’ll be back soon

[excitedlysuffering]

OMGOMGOMG possibly Kakashi head-cannon collection? He is the love of my life (lmao don’t tell my bf that)

Your secrets safe with me he’s my love too😂

Kakashi Headcanons Collection

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• A reader, they don’t have to read Icha Icha (bonus points if you did) but someone who appreciates a good book

• Someone laid back and not very high maintenance

• I see him wanting a shinobi S/O cause he needs them to be to take care of themselves or he’ll worry too much

• he’ll worry anyways

• Someone who understands his pain and won’t shy away from him when he’s going through a rough patch

• Someone who is good with words, like say something sweet and he’s metlinggg

• A person with considerate personality traits

• He would like an S/O who’s willing to try new things and adventures

• Someone who would take things slowly

• Someone who could honestly make him laugh

• He’s DadKashi he’s going to want someone good with kids

• To be frank, he would probably want a relatively stable S/O so that in his mind there’s no chance of them ending up like his father

• He wants companionship so someone who’s not distant and who wouldn’t mind him being around all the time

• I really can’t see him with a tsundere S/O, he needs to see that his partner loves him as much as he loves them

Relationship With Kashi Stuff~

• Please do domestic stuff (Sending him off to work with a kiss, a note in his lunchbox, kissing him when he gets home) he will be near tears every time

• TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK™ (whether it’s kicking butt, making dinner, or teaching (raising) Team 7)

• You probably won’t notice moving in with each other until you look up like ‘holy crap I haven’t been to my apartment in like 2 weeks?’

• Read with him or read to him, and you will have his HEART

• He’s not clingy per se, but he loves to be in your presence whenever he can

• Will take you out on dates once a week EVERY WEEK (Sorry Tsunade-sama, I have a date then, but I’ll leave right after?)

• Dating Kakashi means you’re now honorary rivals with Gai (who knows Kashi better, who can make him laugh most etc.)

• Pick up line wars 24/7, the loser has to do the other’s chores Kakashi wins

• Okay, but Kakashi never had a childhood, so make a list of everything he never got to do and you slowly complete them together

• He’s such a sweetheart like, surprise, he’s so sensitive

• Get’s so flustered seeing you in his clothes, he temporarily shuts down

• He’s given up trying to take back his mask whenever you’re wearing it

• Okay, we all know this silver-haired hottie is suave, but he is SMOOTH, he will 100% find ways to have you blush whenever possible, he is the CEO of leaving you hot and bothered

• Made you your own area in the Hokage office as a hint that he needed your company

• Has never forgotten an important date (he uses his Sharingan on the calendar)

• He’s fought demons and other crazy villains, but will still be terrified of you on your period (he’s brave tho he’ll just bring a lot of peace offerings)

• He heard you refer to him as DadKashi in front of Team 7 and/or your friends and just about loses his mind

• When you first see his face without his mask you’re probably pissed cuz WHY would he hide that beauty from the world?! it’s for the greater good hun

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Being insensitive/ignorant about things like loss or mental illness

• Constantly distracting him from his duties or hobbies

• Being rude or uncompassionate

• Being willing to abandon people or being self-centered you SCUM

• He always makes time for you, so he’d be a bit bothered if they didn’t put forth any effort to spend time with him

• Little pranks are harmless, but things that make him scared for your wellbeing or stealing his mask are big fat NO

• Being reckless just because, being a shinobi is already dangerous with would you play with death like that??

• Being lazy, Kakashi at his core is really something of a go-go-go person, he doesn’t want to just do anything all the time

Soft Kakashi Things~

• Kakashi is such a softie omg

• He likes to fall asleep last just so he can tell you how much he loves you and you saved him while you’re asleep

• If you’re having a bad day, he’ll drop everything (if possible) to hold you and be there for you in every way you need

• Definitely has Sai draw a small pic of you so he can carry it around and/or put in the Hokage office

• Mission dates are a thing like imagine flirting with Kakashi while destroying your opponents (so romantic)

• He’s big on practical gifts. If he notices you’re running low on shuriken? Expect a box of them from him

• He’ll read a particular *wild* Icha Icha quote to you just to make you flustered (bonus points for him if you’re in public)

• His students question you all the time like how did you end up with their lonely, pervy sensei?

• Will sweep you off your feet for no reason other than he likes to hold you and carry you

Random Kashi Facts~

• Kakashi’s love language is words of affirmation like he craves hearing that you love him and the like

• He hums and sings around the house or whenever he’s bored or preoccupied

• After having eating fish out of necessity day after day he prefers not eating it if possible

• He will often fall asleep a good while after he actually lays down because he enjoys debriefing himself of everything that happened during the day

• Actually sleeps really deep when he’s next to you, otherwise, the smallest sound can wake him up

• He likes to put notes or letters from you in his Icha Icha books so he can read them whenever and no one will peak cuz ew, Icha Icha

• In all honesty, Gai is a common factor in why he’s so late everywhere, but it’s mostly him walking around and taking in the sights like a nostalgic old man

• In the episode where Sakura and Naruto transformed into kids and called Kashi and old man, giving him an identity crisis is actually common. His hair color and the fact that you can’t see his face make some kids think he’s old

• Sometimes when he can’t sleep he’ll find a random tree and fall asleep in it (he’s a strange one)

• He lost his newest Icha Icha book when he was Hokage and very nearly (thanks to Shikamaru) called a citywide search party

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Your temple, it feels really intimate to him and he’s so tall it’s an easy place for him

• Way to hug- Kakashi loves those giant bear hugs where he just envelopes you like you’re basically one with him now

•’Thing to do with you- He really loves reading with you, whether it’s the same book, or you’re just both sitting next to each other reading

• Type of date- Although your most common date is a mission date (lol), his favorite is being able to take you to a nice restaurant and then on a walk around the city

This or That:

• He’s a winter person actually, he loves being cuddled up with you and blankets, and the abundance of hot drinks

• He’s a morning person because he’s been waking up early since he was a child, and doesn’t really know how to enjoy sleeping anymore (but if that wasn’t the case he’d be a night owl)

• Loves both cooking for you and being cooked for he puts Bobby Flay to shame honestly

• He spends all his time reading obviously and if his S/O is a writer or he’ll be soooo excited and will read everything they put out

Conflict Happenings~

• He knows disagreements are a normal part of relationships (in moderation of course) so if there was a real problem, he wouldn’t shy away from it

• He won’t raise his voice or take a tone with you, he doesn’t feel the need to, but he will definitely get his point across

• To his fault, he might throw in a slight or cutting remark here and there but he will regret it the second your expression changes

• He’s a real go with the flow kind of guy so if he realizes that something is his fault, he will correct it ASAP

• If he notices you’re getting really worked up, he’ll just hug you until you calm down and can speak coherently but at that point it’s like ‘what was I mad about??’

• If his S/O is headstrong it’ll probably bring that side out in him, even if temporarily

• If it’s a minor disagreement he’ll probably say something funny to diffuse the situation

• He would rather die than argue in public, to him it’s a private thing and he hates causing a scene

Modern Kashi~

• I can see him as more of a club/extracurricular activities leader than a teacher

• He’s really close to those kids in his group and probably sheds a few proud DadKashi tears at their graduation

• That one fine teacher that all the students are thirsting over

• If not a teacher he’d probably be an elite CIA agent or a higher ranking FBI officer

• He has so many dogs like he sees a stray and how could he possibly give them up??

• He’d probably walk around Playboy Magazines just cause he can

• At one point he dyed his hair black cause he thought it’d look more ‘normal’ but he HATED it

• He likes plants but he’s so bad at taking care of them?? He can remember all of his dogs’ names and their food preferences but can’t remember to water a plant

• His house is so clean he’s been doing all his household chores since he was a child

• He definitely met Gai in elementary school and they never parted, even going on to become college roommates never again

• Gai probably barges in Kakashi’s classroom so often he’s most likely considered the co-leader/teacher

• Kakashi has definitely gotten drunk on school nights before but he’s such an in-control drunk no one ever noticed

• Kakashi was my first Naruto love and my first husband. BACK OFF

Masterlist

[honeymoonjin]

day 14

This chapter was such a cathartic experience for me that I wrote book report for it. I have little else to offer at your altar of magic aside from my undying gratitude for your continued hard work and utter awe of your literary prowess. Please enjoy my attempt at articulating the emotions you have managed to evoke in me with this chapter. Thank you once again! 💜 Jan

Set to Self Destruct: An analysis of Sora’s Day 14 of “The Gentlemen”

Every genre brings with it a set of expectations that shapes the kinds of stories it can tell and the themes it can explore. “The Gentlemen” is entirely shot from one specific location, with its participants prohibited from leaving the premises of the villa (with the allowance only for Y/N and the fan favorite winner of that week to leave for a one night date). This restriction creates a scenario where 1) at first the occupants fall into an unspoken, almost idyllic community and 2) inevitably the conflicts that arise as a consequence of a Utopian society. With the added pressures of a competition, an environment that fosters moments of high emotional tension, physical and emotional intimacy, and 8 very different personalities, it feels as if the show was doomed for dissonance right from the start. It should be no surprise that the rather straightforward, raunchy reality show devolves so quickly into a “bottle episode” filled to the brim with an emotionally charged battle of whose tongue is the sharpest. On the surface, “The Gentlemen” is a story about a single female protagonist judging the sexual abilities of seven random men but this premise and the setting with which the story plays out on, serves to explore the deeper ideas of one’s role in the balance of social harmony verses the human tendency towards self destruction. 

The setting of a story can be a powerful tool in expressing a character’s journey. “Bottle episodes” have often been used for dramatic effect in visual storytelling, with the limited setting and cast allowing for a slower pace and deeper exploration of character traits and motives. Having the entirety of “The Gentlemen” be one long drawn out “bottle episode” allows for the audience to experience a slow-burn like intensity of those personalities. It takes the fundamental process of how a group stuck in a certain location together for an extended period of time inadvertently falls into certain social constructs in order to reach an equilibrium of cohesion. The roles which each occupant of the villa naturally fell into set a precedent for many of the events that followed on the show, most obvious being Y/N as the “queen bee” (the one who holds the most power in the group), Seokjin as the designated “counselor” (the one who is expected to help his fellow competitors when an emotional issue arises), and Yoongi as the “mediator” (the one who is the voice of reason and rationale when tensions run high). And yet it is revealed that there is a price for that harmony, for even roles that are not as explicit begin to weigh heavy as the days wane on. The cohesion of these roles were meant to serve as cogs that fit together to uphold a sense of teamwork in an otherwise tension filled living quarters. But people are not cogs and emotions are not gears to be compartmentalized into neat roles to serve the higher purpose of the show. And as occupants spend more time with one another, natural biases, feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, envy, and pride start to surface under the umbrella of selfish acts, we begin to see that fine balance corrode the fragile peace. 

The road to self destruction has begun in earnest.   

It all comes to a head at the 2 week mark of the show’s timeline. At this point, tensions have been running high: from revelation of Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s romantic feelings for Y/N, to Jimin and Hoseok’s long running rivalry, to Y/N, Jimin, and Taehyung creating a polyamorous relationship in secret, to Jungkook feeling like the odd man out. The pressures of the show were eventually bound to break someone’s resolve and we see that personified in Jungkook in this episode. After speaking with Seokjin about his warring feelings towards certain members of the group and his desires to act on his frustrations regarding the restrictive parameters of the show, Jungkook was able to unload some of the pent up tension he had been carrying around for the last few days. The audience is then lulled into a false sense of security that the equilibrium of the group has been restored when in actuality, it was a red herring that something drastic was about to unfold. At first glance, the guidance that Seokjin offers Jungkook feels like a band-aid on a bleeding artery when in actuality it was more akin to Seokjin inadvertently stepping on a landmine he believes he has already defused. And his misstep triggers the entire villa to fall victim to the explosion. 

In the climatic scene of the episode, Jungkook’s pent up emotions rears its ugly head in the form of harsh words, tactless criticism, irreparably broken trust, and even fists thrown. His actions turn from verbal assaults to physical ones and the damage seems to fissure out towards the entire group. The destruction is absolute; no one is left unscathed. Why is this scene so effective? Its power is not from the dramatic way Jungkook punches Jimin for calling him out on his childish behavior or the out of character way Hoseok tries to break up the fight only to be elbowed in the face by Jimin nor is it in the heartbreaking way those that are left behind in the villa are tasked with the self imposed responsibility to pick up the literal pieces of their tenuous friendship. It is in the fact that the audience understands the self destructive actions of the characters and perhaps to some degree relate to it on a very human level. We understand that Seokjin wanted to talk through the problems with the group because he didn’t want to shoulder all of the burden himself anymore. We understand that Hoseok acts the way he does because he uses it as a defense mechanism to protect himself. We understand why Sejin did not step in earlier when he was asked to by Yoongi and why Yoongi is bitter about it as a direct result of Sejin’s choice to abstain from deescalating the fight before it got out of control. We understand that Jimin and Jungkook clashed with each other so viscerally because they see themselves in each other and it’s a jagged pill to swallow when presented with a mirror of all of the ugly sides of ourselves we think we do such a great job of hiding. Perhaps exaggerated for a more dramatic effect, but at the core of these interactions, we see the flaws that we carry as human beings and are forced to face the unpleasant feelings that it elicits in each of us. We understand because we can empathize with their struggles. 

How does a community attempt to repair itself when its very foundation is practically razed to the ground? Perhaps there is an argument to be made about a complete dismantling of a previous establishment. The audience can view this inevitable clash as a “controlled burn”. In terms of forest management, a “controlled burn” is a fire set intentionally for purposes of farming, prairie restoration or greenhouse gas abatement. These “controlled burning” is conducted during the cooler months to reduce fuel buildup and decrease the likelihood of serious hotter fires. In the same way fires are a part of a forest’s life cycle, the clash that occurred on day 14 might serve as a way for the characters to start fresh, with hopes of emotional maturity and foresight for rebuilding relationships moving forward in the competition. 

The damage done during day 14 of “The Gentlemen” may arguably be irreversible, perhaps even amplified by the uncertain nature of the show, but challenges were inevitable with a setting like this one. And yet, there are seeds of hope scattered among the debris. In John Yorke’s “Into the Woods: a five act journey into story” he writes “…story matches psychological theory: characters are taken on a journey to acknowledge and assimilate the traumas in their past… By confronting and coming to terms with the cause of their traumas they can finally move on.” Day 14 revealed a lot of stances, opinions, and confessions that were previously kept secret due to the need to preserve the harmonious nature of the greater good, “the community”. But human nature does not allow for peace to reign for long; it yearns balance. Thus dissonance created discourse. Yet from strife there is revelation. From the ashes of fiery emotions, there is a chance at peace anew: either reestablish order or embrace the chaos. Yet most likely it’ll come down to a melding of the two in order to find the balance a community craves whilst also giving into the character’s more baser human desire for self ruin. 

-------

jan i literally can’t stop crying thank you so much. there’s no way for me to put into words the feeling of someone caring so much about the story and even about one particular chapter that they’ve written such an articulate and profound ESSAY on it like,,,, i have no idea what i’ve done to deserve this, because writing this story is just this little passion project that i’m fostering with my brainstorming group and with the readers. it feels like a collaborative effort and so i never really saw it as anything more than just the fun gimmick of an interactive fic in a crazy situation. 

you see things in my story that even i don’t see, make it sound beautiful when i worried it was awkward, and i can’t thank you enough for that. and when you brought up Into the Woods i LOST it, i adore that book and hearing someone quote a masterwork like that when referring to my fanfiction? it’s so absurd but so special all at once. 

i’ve never really considered becoming an actual author because the pressure of money and income relying on it seems scary to me (even commissions stress me out) so i’m eternally grateful to you for always making me feel like this is something professional. getting a glimpse into that life by you writing an analysis on d14 is just.... i really can’t describe how special it is. 

every week i aim to make each chapter better than the last, and we have a very different landscape in the house on day 15 after our controlled (perhaps not so controlled) burn. i’ll patiently await your thoughts then, but i just want to say that you inspire me to work harder each week ;;-;

[yunohawkeye]

Dropping in to say I love your blog dear! 🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤ May I please request for NSFW alphabet for Submissive MC and Ikevamp Shakespeare?

Find yourself someone that devoted lolYou can consider yourself lucky Shakes~

It took some time but I finally finished it :)Thanks for @aromantic-misguide-to-romance and @reneotomegirl for having a look over it ^^

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

If it’s been quite a rough night you won’t even have to ask him. He’ll get salves, a nice steamy cup of tea and everything else you ask of him.He takes very good care of any bruises and handles them with such care that this alone makes you feel like floating on cloud seven.After everything is taken care of he’ll hold you tight, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and either play with your hair or caress your skin.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your face, for the simple reason that he loves to see the expressions he can coax out of you. He can’t get enough of seeing you lost in pleasure, in contrast to your innocent smile you wear over the day.

For himself he likes his deft hands. This goes combined with your expressions because, while he’s working you with his hand, he’s also able to look into your eyes.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Will is a very possessive lover, so seeing his cum on your face or dribbling out of your mouth after you went down on him gets him hard again almost immediately.

He also loves to see his essence running down your abdomen and just the thought that if this was inside of you- able to create new life sates his possessiveness.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It’s not a secret that he likes to do light bondage with you but there has been a fantasy in his head.

It involves you tied up, completely helpless and at his mercy while he coaxes those sweet, sweet sounds from you. Teasing and edging you relentlessly just to give you one mindblowing orgasm after another throughout  the whole night.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He does have some experience, especially from his former life, but even then he focused on the theatre and his plays. It was mainly flirting and flattering but there were some nights he gave in to temptation.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He loves to see you lying on your back with both hands tied to the bedpost over your head. This leaves him with many opportunities and his imagination.

But if it’s not just for pleasure but for craved intimacy he likes the missionary position. As much as he likes to be creative he also cherishes those nights where just being with you sates all of his desires.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Will isn’t one to goof around, but is quite fond of teasing. Through his words he’ll make you giggle from time to time, but mostly uses it for very poetic dirty talk.

But he won’t shy away from cracking a joke or tickling you if you seem down.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Fitting for a gentleman he’s well groomed and due to personal preference he keeps it very short.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Normally he puts on his playwright mask wherever he goes and doesn’t let anyone actually come near him. This makes it more meaningful when he lets it fall, especially in those moments.

So with Will it’s always very intimate and sensual, even just on an emotional basis.He’d also never leave you unsatisfied or redundant do something you’re not comfortable with but would do anything you ask of him. He’s always weak for you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Will sees his life as a tragedy so such simple pleasures aren’t normally on his list, although even tragedies have their highlights. But still, it’s very rare to happen.

Until he met you. Since then he feels the urge almost every time after he spent time with you, because you make him feel things he hasn’t felt in ages.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s very fond of bondage, from light to moderate.

Will loves to tie you up and give you pleasure until you beg him to stop.

He’s not opposed to be tied up lightly himself, but he prefers if you’re the one tied up.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Going hand in hand with his preference for bondage, he’s fond of spending those nights in a bed.

He’s also fond of any other place he can tie your hands to, no matter the position. But again, he won’t ever force you.

Will won’t shy away from closets or storage rooms if you both are up for it, as well.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He gets really turned on whenever he sees you all dressed up and even more so when you decide to show some skin. If you top it off with a nice perfume he gave you, it allows you to see lust darken his eyes.

Other than that, a more innocent turn-on for him is your smile. Just seeing it makes him want to give you all the pleasure you deserve and even more.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won’t hurt you. Not in the sense that he’d deny you any wishes in bed, but even then he has boundaries.

For instance, one thing he’d never do is to degrade you. As a playwright he knows how simple words can hurt. He’d rather praise you in any way he can.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Will loves to go down on you but prefers to do it with his fingers. When he has his head between your legs he can’t see your expressions but loves your wetness on his lips.

When he uses his fingers he can see your expressions and hear those sounds leaving your lips.

Let’s just say he’s torn. But either way, he is a big fan of the sweet torture of edging.

If you want to go down on him he won’t say no, but be warned, because he doesn’t have much control when you tease him too much.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

On a normal basis it’s rather slow and rough but he can go more tender if you ask him to. Will just wants to take his time with you.

Although, if you’ve been spending a lot of time with one of the residents and he’s fueled with jealousy you should prepare for a very rough and fast-paced night.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He prefers to take his time with you and make it a full body experience instead of just sating the hunger for pleasure.

There are some days where he’ll initiate them, but only if you haven’t seen each other in some time and don’t have much time on your hands.

But if you ask for it or initiate it he’d never say no. He'll only initiate it himself after you’ve been away for a long period of time or if his jealousy got the best of him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s up for risk, especially for the risk of getting caught.

Pleasuring you in a broom closet while the others are eating in the dining room, wondering where you are, all while you have to stifle your moans.

But he’s not up for hurting you, at least not too much. He’s up for some rather rough scenarios but nothing that would leave scars or long lasting bruises.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s pulled many all-nighters in his life, but writing is quite different to having fun with each other in bed. But he can go for a few rounds, depending on the day, some more or less.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Will is very keen on using toys on you. The moment you told him that there are toys for sexual pleasure from the future he rushed to le Comte and asked him to get him some of those.

He’s a fan of burying one of those so-called vibrators inside of you while he keeps the remote to control the intensity. He loves the feeling when he presses just one button and can watch you trying to contain your mewls of pleasure. It has become his favorite  pastime activity.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases a little. But he’s very good at dirty talk which always sounds so poetic and makes you feel like you’re one of his masterpieces.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite moderate in volume.

Will groans on a normal basis but the moans turn lighter when he gets closer, just to top it off with heavenly sounding moans when he reaches his high.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

As much as he likes to take charge and have you at his mercy he also loves it when you take control from time to time, when you show him that he means as much to you as you mean to him.

But when you do, please be gentle, because on some days he just needs someone that uses their power to soothe and make him feel safe and cared for.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a little above average in size and girth.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Let’s just say there’s a reason his pet is a bunny.

He wants to spend as much time with you as possible, also a lot of it in intimate settings. Because life is evanescent and he hasn’t felt the gentle embrace of a lover in a very long time, he  has so many built-up emotions boiling inside him. He needs someone to quench his thirst.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes some time until he falls asleep and he spends as long as he can awake, staring at your face and thinking about poems and stories through which he can show you how much you mean to him.

There are nights where he doesn’t sleep at all because seeing his muse sleeping in his arms gives him so many ideas that he just doesn’t have the time.

So sometimes it would be good to lull him to sleep before you, otherwise who knows how much sleep he’ll miss.

[gg-astrology]

Can you tell us 10 things about you? and about ur friends irl? How u met them/ how long u know them/ what u like to do with them? This is gonna sound nosy but how's ur love life hdjsks LISTEN YOU'RE LIKE MY DREAM BEST FRIEND AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND ACT LIKE WE'RE TOTES HOMIES OKAY IM A VIRGO SUN PISCES MOON smh a girl is cURIOUS AND (platonically) IN LOVE WITH YOU 😖❤❤❤❤

Hey there!! 💕💓❤️ Oh wow!!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️ Don’t worry this is fine!! I’m actually -- like, really happy and giddily flustered you’d want to get to know me!? 💕💓❤️ I’m really flattered and really grateful/touched aaaaaaa only virgo/pisces deserve rights, my current wife is also a virgo/pisces this is obviously some kind of synastry destiny (jk *wink wonk?*)!! 💕💓❤️thank you for caring about me!!! 💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️💕💓❤️

Yeah sure!! 💕💓❤️I can tell you more things about me!! 💕💓❤️

Disclaimer? I think it’s good for the audience to know where I’m coming from and who I am? I just think transparency/knowing who you’re talking to is important because knowing who I am, can also help you and me see where my flaws are and where I may be coming from! 💕💓❤️ Or what I provide, but where I might miss my mark somewhere, y know? 💕💓❤️ Not to say you have to judge me, I just don’t see the point in not just being who I am and saying yeah I can see where I took the L there. It’s just-- better? for future endeavors as well? So here we are? 

More about me? In sections?

10 things about me? 

I’ll start with this since it’s the shortest!

This may come off as totally random but I do better in colder climate than hotter ones -- even though I currently live in a tropical island 

I used to live in the US!

I actually have a designated place where I go to sit, open up my laptop and answer asks from tumblr. I sit outside my little patio and stare out at my garden, and then answer qs from here!

This means I’m always subjected to the Wild Life coming at me unexpectedly sometimes, but my cat also visits me at my table! So it balances out! 

My favourite drink is milk but I like plant-based ones, or rice milk? Or the lactose free ones! They’re delicious! 

Cherries are my favourite snacks but I usually get them once every 3 months -- so the result is I don’t tend to snack often. This is by design of me trying to Not Snack + using my pickiness to weaponize against myself and my eating habits.

To unwind I watch cat/animal videos on youtube before I go to sleep - it’s not very effective because I have to keep my eyes open to see, plus I always end up making cooing noises at the screen -- so I’m not sure when if it’s actually making me sleepy or not. But it’s working so far so I’m continuing to do it.

I have very specific knowledge of certain things in very acute details + link/resources of further studies on the topic, but otherwise I have 0.5 braincells most of the time, just a lot of Forbidden Knowledge.

I have a folder of cursed memes and that’s all you need to know about my sense of humour I think? 

Love life?

I am currently single! 💕💓❤️ Gf application is always open! 💕💓❤️ However, I’d like everyone of you to know I’m a 95 liner and I will not accept applications from those born after 98′ 💕💓❤️

Although I’m bi + had ex-bf before... I am (as of right now) on the fence about men personally in my personal life (disclaimer) because I’ve got a week of quarantine, thus I haven’t been doing the do and can think clearly for once. I am contemplating. Men. And the necessity in life. Y know? 

Although my love life is free!! I am not excused from the occasional panic of having a crush (annually). I’m lucky enough to go through it just once every year, but every time it happens I am an absolutely clown + always in turmoil. It’s what happens when you’re a sag venus who can’t control your p***y brain. Luckily, my crush just have to insult me or make me explain things from my past and then I’d be too traumatize to crush on them again. It’s quite effective, and works out best for all of us! 💕💓❤️

I’ll refrain from talking about my ex because I know I have a habit of recounting the good and being mushy. Even if we ended it on rocky terms. So! I’ll save everyone from that. 💕💓❤️    

Friends (expanded, clarifications?) 

The ones I mention on the blog are usually 

taurus/taurus, 

cancer/cancer, 

leo/libra, 

leo/cap (x2), 

virgo/sag, 

libra/aries (x2), 

scorpio/sag, 

scorpio/cap, 

sag/taurus, 

pisces/scorpio, 

pisces/aqua,  

Oof that’s alot.. This might be better to outline in a timeline format... so leo/libra, scorpio/sag, libra/aries and partially virgo/sag are whom I grew up for the majority of my childhood-teenage life! 💕💓❤️ 

They obviously made a very big impact on me! 💕💓❤️ They’re with me through thick/thin, leo/libra (sag rising) is the extrovert of the bunch. He’s one of my best friends, close guy friend, most of the time I too find him a little exasperating because he’s.. well its his problem so nevermind, but he’s also very endearing! 💕💓❤️ If it wasn’t for him-- well, there’s also another leo I thought was very endearing in a little brother kind of way. So leos to me have a very positive influence in my life, they’re very cute especially when they ask for your attention. I think they are like puppies/kitties when they are needy, and their blatant way of just being themselves always makes me feel refreshed + I  admire them for it. In the end, I’m totally heart-eyes endeared for Leos! 💕💓❤️

Scorpio/sag is also my best friend! 💕💓❤️ She’s a taurus rising, and she’s so sweet, kind, chatty and very open/friendly to people! 💕💓❤️ Her, my cousin (who’s also a scorpio but a scorpio/pisces), and quite a few of my other best friends who are scorpios - actually made me realize they’re not like what they’re usually describe as. Maybe that’s just me? But I think they’re very sweet and comforting to be around, not to mention they’re quite supportive and willing to listen when you’re having a tough time with something!! 💕💓❤️The pillar of support and one of the few rare people I don’t mind interacting with (actually crave interacting with them) because of just how chill they are, I wish more people recognize that in a scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Libra/Aries is one of my longest childhood friend, probably from birth! 💕💓❤️ He’s a supportive big brother type figure. But he can be very silly and he doesn’t hold himself so seriously most of the time! 💕💓❤️ Whilst he’s very understanding and quite nosy with others, he tries to be subtle/sleek but he isn’t! I think he’s very endearing when he wants to be, and he deserves someone who loves him lots as well 💕💓❤️ We reunited for the first time in 6 years the other day? And I think we both ended up crying a little and holding hands because we miss each other alot! 💕💓❤️ It was very nice, I think he’s much more emotional (just suppressed) than what people realize! 💕💓❤️ He’s very caring though - like willing to talk you through your problems and make sure you’re taken care of, back on your feet, but also willing to smile scarily at people who’ve hurt you and actually take them to court/yell at them for you. I think its very sweet! 💕💓❤️

Virgo/Sag is someone I hung out with for a short period of time, but kept in contact with periodically throughout my life because we ended up going through similar majors/path in life! 💕💓❤️ She’s someone who’s very caring, wants to take care of you, when she’s endeared by you she makes sure to dote on you often! 💕💓❤️ Actually, she’s born a day after Namjoon I think? But that’s not the point, the thing is - she’s my virgo/sag and when she’s not by my virgo/sag she’s super cool and I can see that many of our friend respects her/think she’s very mature + she’s the Shit! 💕💓❤️ I really admire her too and I think she’s super cool, but more than that, I love how caring and tender she is. She’s the best 💕💓❤️

These are the people I grew up with, and then I went to college and met/lived with Scorpio/Cap + Pisces/Scorpio+Aqua. 

Scorpio/Cap and I actually hit it off since the first day? We were in orientation, and we’re both talkative I guess! But in similar ways. He appreciates my bluntness/sense of humour and I like that he’s sarcastic and the only one engaging enough to be around/paying attention to what’s happening. We went to a house party together and then had 1 class together the semester. After that, me and him decided we’d live together off campus (along with our other friend who fell through, I think he’s a Leo?) - whilst we lived together we share majors in the same division, on holidays or at night after class, we’d grab dinner together + walk there, or we’d eat at home and binge watch a marathon he’d pick together. 💕💓❤️ It’s really fun! 💕💓❤️ 

Both of us like cooking, so he’d make dishes/drinks and I’d do that and we’d coerced each other to hang out in the living space together. Basically, we’re there to force each other to socialize/hang out with people and also encourage each other. It’s very fun! But we also had moments where we’d buy each other dinner/go to art galleries/exhibit together. There’s more serious too of course, like talking about our problems or worrying about stuff. But I think I found someone who looks out for me/I can look out for him, be confidants for each other and not be embarrassed with each other. Besides this, he also found my p0rn collection and suddenly mentioned it when we’re on campus so now I can never unfriend him because he has blackmail material on me. I’m forced to be his friends forever now. 

Pisces/Cap and Pisces/Aqua are my roommates after Scorpio/Cap - actually, Pisces/cap invited me to live with them when I was finding a place, it was very fortunate! 💕💓❤️ We’re all close friends because we live in the same hall during first year, plus me and Pisces/cap (and a Gemini friend) would get drunk + go to parties together so!! This is very convenient! 💕💓❤️

Actually.. Pisces/cap, me and Gemini friend.. I went with Gemini friend to buy his apartment with him (along with his friends, I’m good friends with them too) and Pisces/cap went with him to buy furnitures lmao! 💕💓❤️ And then me and Pisces/cap moved in together, although I didn’t room with them. I roomed with Pisces/Aqua whom till this date is my favourite roommate I’ve ever lived with! 💕💓❤️

It’s a little messy with Pisces/Cap but not in a? bad way? at all? Like we’re close friends who still talk often, but they did confess once over the holidays, and I turned them down (that was when I was about to move in) - we did make out along with pisces/aqua but like.. that’s... I guess that’s normal for college y know? We did a couple projects together for their class, like a comic about me and gemini friend, poems, photography, I drew them something. And I think they did have something with Gemini friend as well but! Gemini friend moved away on the last year so it never went anywhere there. 

But these are all good memories we had together and it’s not like-- bad at all, I don’t ever think badly at them for it because it was honest to them/for them, it was their emotions and tenderness from the heart? I can’t ever look down on anyone for that or judge them for being true to themselves, I actually think they’re very brave to be able to heal themselves and process things especially involving emotions like that. I also think these are all precious and honest memories, being friends with them definitely helped me grow my EQ by so much. Without them, I’d be very close-minded today! 💕💓❤️ 

Pisces/aqua is my roommate for a long time, and I love them to bits too! 💕💓❤️ They have two cats, both I love so so much and would sacrifice getting up for very often! 💕💓❤️ More than that, Pisces/aqua is so smart and able to pick things up immediately! It’s honestly very admirable, how they pierce things together. Whether it’s tarot or astrology, they’re the one who got me into this actually? 💕💓❤️ It was their interest before it became mine through proxy or maybe osmosis lmao, but they’re quite judgey and sometimes have a ? idk, superiority complex/elitist attitude towards stuff sometimes? So I never really talked about it much with them because it can get really frustrating sometimes 💕💓❤️ I do love them lots though, I can be ignorant of a lot of things and really slow on the uptake, but they’re very nice and kind and patient with me - honestly they’re as patient as a saint sometimes with me. And I’m really really thankful to them for it! 💕💓❤️ They’re getting married this year to a Scorpio! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/taurus and Cancer/cancer are my college best friends. Actually we hang out outside of class too! 💕💓❤️ I celebrated cancer/cancer’s birthday with them and their friends/roommates and it’s really fun. Heres why it’s -- like, momentous. It’s because my college classmates are more like colleagues or co-workers, so we don’t usually have that kind of camaraderie outside of first year. Plus, we’re all kind of working or busy with our private life outside of class - so it’s hard to reconvene that with who you know in classrooms. 

They like their private life separated from the college one, which is what I prefer as well. I really adore them though, since we have a major that usually makes us get little to no sleep and have to stay at school at night-till morning most nights (for programs on the computer or printing facilities, rip) -- they’re the one who would either stay up with me, working together at the same table and we can ask each other for fresh eyes on our work. Or they’d motivate me to go home and not be stupid to stay at school. Or they’d drive me home so they know I get back safely/on time. It’s just -- I adore them so much they’re very very good! 💕💓❤️

Taurus/Taurus is also a college best friend whom I befriended later on in the years, they’re really sweet! 💕💓❤️ We have more of a friendship where we spend time outside together, walking in the city trying out a new cake store or just going back to their place to play games or talk about what else we have going on in our lives. They’re really busy!! Since they’re involved in church activities, they travel to another town an hour away every sunday - their dedication to their work, school and church (AND spending time with their fiance’s family + fiance) is amazing! 💕💓❤️ They also got me my first job at the firm they’re working in, in our last years - I made sure they’re not too tired and get their work done on time so they don’t rush their finished project. Or give better advice if the teacher is making them fume. I really like them lots too, we had alot of fun together AND they’re a foodie! 💕💓❤️

There’s another Libra/Aries whom I knew from college, while I was still living with Scorpio/Cap - I was in another town/not the same town as the Pisces back then. But Libra/Aries was close and she’d come by often! We’d travel the city together, lay on the lawn, go to parks together or exhibit. They’re very proactive and we spend a lot of time talking about work and projects, personal interests, when we watch movies together - we’d spend time sitting in cafes after watching them to talk for hours/until closing about the movie ( ‘we have alot to unpack’) -- they’re a lot of fun to talk to because they’re just as intense about stuff! 💕💓❤️ And their interest is genuine, give good hugs, a little too loud for our cats but she means well! 💕💓❤️ 

This is brief recount of everyone, mostly focusing on activities we did together but knowing them as people obviously made a big impression on me! 💕💓❤️ 

Leo/Caps are people I met since I finished college/working now, they’re my two admins on the blog actually! 💕💓❤️So internet friends, but I really click with and they’re soothing + fun to be around when I’m home/anywhere! 💕💓❤️ 

Sag/Taurus is also another internet friend, I’ve known her for a year now? But man, every conversation is an adventure and she’s so fun to be around! 💕💓❤️ Also very sweet and an extremely kind person, in a fire sign kind of way. Which means a lot of gawking from me and very loud laughs. But yes! 💕💓❤️ Very good people! 💕💓❤️

I do have friends from work... but well we’re not close enough for me to actually consider them good friends/talk about them personally? They’re nice! But I have yet to form a more positive opinion about them - it’s positive and negative, so I’ll see who survives and come through as a person I’d like to hang out with outside of work. 💕💓❤️

To Virgo/Pisces anon: 

Here’s my best friend application do I make the cut please reply 💕💓❤️

[wishwars]

Quarantine-Questionairre

So I was tagged simultaneously in two different quarantine tags by @floraone and @bloody-wonder AGES ago… So I’m answering a weird combined version I made now lol

Where are you isolating? I am at the house I share with some friends in Michigan. When I’m visiting my parents in Iowa or complaining about being tired at school I call it “home,” but I think of parents “home” as my OG home… but I guess saying that I’m simply isolating at “home” is the most clear answer. I do miss my family but am trying to do what’s healthiest for them at the moment. I’m just grateful I’m not isolating alone.

What are you listening to? For someone who professes to love music so much, I actually don’t listen to a ton of it (because I can’t listen to most kinds of music when I’m writing). When I do right now, I’m mainly listening to Disney or the vast collection of musicals I like so that I can sing along in dramatic fashion.

What are you watching? TV has been my main form of destressing lately. I’m rewatching all of Phineas and Ferb with my housemate (who hadn’t seen it at all), catching up on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, watching anything the Try Guys and Bon Appetit post on YouTube, and sometimes throwing in a movie here and there (we just watched Hidden Figures and Dirty Dancing).

What are you reading? LOL I’m reading lots of articles and books having to do with Shakespeare, adaptation, Shakespearean adaptation, popular culture, The Taming of the Shrew, gender, class, sex, and all the combinations of those subjects for the dissertation chapter I am currently trying to churn out. I actually really love writing my chapter and watching it slowly coming together, but with my looming deadline (April 29th) the reading portion has felt like slow torture…

What other activities have you been doing? I’m remote teaching, so that has taken up a lot of my time, though we’re pretty much done and then I just have to finish the grading. I also run a graduate student group around the Medieval/Early Modern periods and we’ve moved most of our final events online, so I’ve been coordinating that stuff. Honestly, I’m doing my school work (I’m still in a class – UGH), teaching work, coordinating work, and dissertation work, and then just trying to cope in the other moments (mainly using, as mentioned above, TV).

Some you want to start doing? I would love to have a more creative hobby, but I also use my hands a lot just to type and write and stuff, so sometimes things that need those feel a bit undoable (I’ve had trouble with knitting before, for example). I just KNOW I’m going to have arthritis later in life… sigh…

If you go outside, what do you like to do during this time? I do go outside—always wearing a facemask and walking 6 feet away from people—just to take a walk and try to feel a bit more like a human than I do otherwise. We also have a backyard, which I sometimes go out in when I don’t have a ton of time or when I really don’t want the hassle of avoiding everyone else.

What food have you been craving? Okay, so I’m a very suggestible person and have been craving many things… I was craving sushi for a couple weeks and then decided to do take-out because why not support a local business? Then I was craving ice cream sandwiches (but the kind with chocolate cookies on the outside) and could not get them in my local grocery stores pick-up option BUT found them at Walgreens when I had to go in (I went when they opened Easter morning and didn’t run into any other people – it was nuts/amazing). Then I was craving Thai food and managed to convince my housemates we all wanted it so we ordered some no-contact delivery. Basically, I keep craving random things, but have managed to satisfy most of them!

A song that resonates with your state of mind at the moment? “Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I feel like we’re all kind of Quasimodo right now.

Any quarantine tips? I don’t suffer from depression regularly (though I think now is the time where many more people will be dealing with mental health issues than might otherwise), so what works for me won’t work for everyone. I’ve been waking up around the same time everyday (even without an alarm) and like to make sure I get ready for the day in the same way I normally do – eating breakfast, washing my face/showering, and getting dressed make me feel like I’m ready for the day, even if it just means another day inside. I’ve also found it useful to set small milestones for myself or plan something slightly different for certain days so that I have something to look forward to (a special meal with my housemates, a fun little craft, a virtual game night, etc.). Anything to break up the monotony and connect me with the people I love has been helpful to me.

-----

Since I’m so late on this, I have absolutely NO idea who has already been tagged, so apologies if you’ve already done this: @sansastarkofficialfanclub, @aurorafiberarts, @allthingsmoon, @kyralih 

[imagine-organization-xiii]

How about the members with their s/o pre bedtime rituals?

Yes hello it is I with yet another headcanon today. I know, it’s completely unreal.

Xemnas

After a stressful day, Xemnas will often wind down with a glass of bourbon or whiskey to warm him from the inside out.  He’ll sit in a chair in front of a fireplace or on the balcony of your room and just decompress as he thinks about the events of the day.

Always sets an alarm for six in the morning even if it drives you insane, no matter how late he happens to go to bed.  You’ve gotten used to getting up early after doing it over a long period of time, but there are still times when you want to sleep in and Xemnas’ alarm blares at 6 AM like clockwork.

Tries to clear his thoughts before bed, and you’re seriously great at helping him do that.  You’re a nice distraction from the rest of the world when you want to be and you help to keep his thoughts from going too out of control.

Xigbar

Listen, Xigbar has some magic hands, so part of your bedtime ritual - when we’re eliminating sex from the equation, because we all know sex is a good way to wind down - is to have Xigbar massage your back, feet, or shoulders.   He is so good at massaging, it is practically 100% guaranteed to put you to sleep.

Showering together, and once again i’m not even talking about sexually - but it’s okay if it turns into that. Showering together is something intimate and relaxing that you can do with your partner and the two of you love showering together before bed.

Xaldin

If he’s in a really bad mood or particularly stressed, Xaldin will work out before bed until he’s gotten rid of any of his excess energy.  Working out tends to give you more energy instead of taking energy away, so you’ll sit in the gym with him while he works out.  You’ll eventually have to drag him away and to the shower when you just get too exhausted to keep your eyes open anymore.

Other days, he tries to avoid anything overly stimulating before bed.  Not really a yoga or meditation fan, but he’ll definitely do a few stretches that will relieve his body from any excess tension.

Vexen

It’s hard to pull Vexen away from all of the technology in the lab to get some sleep, but when he does sleep, he can’t have any type of tech whirring around in his presence or he’ll get distracted and never get any rest.  Screens will flash and keep him awake thinking about things he’ll have to do the next day.

When he’s with you, you’ll let him read one of his various scientific reports aloud because 1) it helps him find any mistakes and 2) the stuff is so boring that it puts you right to sleep.  By the time he’s finished, he’s ready to fall asleep too, so it works for everyone.

Sometimes, he’ll write in a journal.  He’s not really the type to scribble out his own feelings, but he’ll definitely write down a few ideas he’ll want to experiment with the next day.

Lexaeus

Will often go for a long walk, if not a jog, before bed time. Then he’ll head to a nice hot shower and be ready to pass out in bed after.  It’s nice to go on a small walk together through the castle grounds and enjoy the night air together, even if the two of you don’t talk about anything. By the end, your muscles are pleasantly tired and you’re yawning throughout the entirety of your shower.

Look, Lexaeus will never admit it to anyone else, but he’ll definitely knit before bed.  It takes him a while to get comfortable doing it in front of you, but it’s become super relaxing for you to watch his finger work the knitting needles and create a cute scarf or blanket.  Sometimes, if you’re in the mood to participate, you’ll work on a puzzle together.

Zexion

Zexion reads before bed, obviously, but depending on what he reads, he may or may not actually get sleepy.  Sometimes he’ll start a book, look up at the window, then see that the sun is up.  You like it when he reads to you, but sometimes he never knows when to stop.

Back when Zexion used to have trouble sleeping, he used to count sheep.  However, he can definitely fall asleep if you read to him.  It keeps him from reading too much and getting too into his book, plus he can listen to your sweet voice tell a story.

Likes to have coffee before bed, but you refuse to let him have anything with caffeine.  It’s decaf, tea, or nothing because he’ll end up being awake all night otherwise.

Saix

Saix is one of those people who’s already thinking about what he has to do the next day by the time he’s ready to head to bed.  After he’s showered and sitting in bed, he’ll often make a list of things that went well that day versus things that need improvement - usually the things that need improvement involve the other members.

He’ll also make a To-Do List for the next day.  He feels that a clear and concise list helps to ensure that he’ll wake the next day with purpose instead of just lazing around in bed.  It also helps to set his mind at ease.

The two of you have found several podcasts you like to listen to together, so you’ll often catch up on your podcast listening before bed.

Axel

Has to sleep in the dark. It doesn’t matter if it’s the light of a phone, from the hallway, the moon, whatever.  He can’t have any light in the room if he’s trying to get a good night’s sleep, so it’s become routine for him to walk around and shut off or cover anything that may emit a bit of light.

Also will bring snacks into the bedroom even though he knows that he shouldn’t.  He’s not much of a midnight-snacker, but he likes to be prepared.  And if he ends up having a random craving, you’ll definitely be in the mood to share with him.

Demyx

True to form, Demyx likes to listen to music before bed, but it can’t really be anything exciting or loud. He likes peaceful, comfortable music to lull him to sleep, maybe something soothing and instrumental.  If he’s not caring too much about what he listens to, he’ll let you choose the music!

Cuddle bug when it comes to sleep time.  Can’t get a good night’s sleep unless he has at least twenty minutes of cuddle time with you.  You can’t complain because cuddling with Demyx is one of the best parts of your day.

Plays with his phone before bed even though he knows it’s bad for his eyes.  He likes to stay in touch with what’s going on in the rest of the world.

Luxord

Luxord has a specific system of bed-time rituals he must perform or he won’t get a good night sleep.  It starts, of course, with a cup of chamomile tea or even tea with valerian root if he’s feeling particularly stressed.  You’ll share a cup with him and maybe some scones if you’re feeling up to it.

He also tries to go to bed at the same time every night, even though you might not always be going to bed with him.  He likes routines and he enjoys being able to do the same thing every night.

Weirdly, Luxord also likes to wash his hands right before he heads into bed, after he takes his shower and finishes the rest of his routine. It’s his way of cleaning off everything he’s done during the day.

Marluxia

You’ve gotten in the habit of joining Marluxia in doing some yoga, stretching, or meditation before bed.  It’s a fun bonding exercise and it also helps to make you pliant and relaxed whenever you’ve had a long day. It takes some time and patience to be able to silence your mind to meditate, but Marluxia is a great teacher.

You’ll often join him on a walk through his garden before bed, too.  He’s really just looking for little weeds he can pull along the way, but he’s mostly just enjoying looking through the plants to see all of his hard work.

Likes to have a diffuser in the bedroom, usually filled with lavender or other scents that help you both sleep.

Larxene

Larxene knows that bedtime routines are supposed to help a person relax and de-stress, so she always starts off her nighttime routine with a hot bath or shower, especially if it’s right after she’s had a good workout and worked up a good sweat.

She tries not to drink before bed because it doesn’t really help her get a good night’s sleep, but she’ll definitely chug a bottle of water.  Always good to stay hydrated!

You both have to be in the perfect sleeping position before you actually fall asleep.  Larxene doesn’t like to have anyone touching her before sleep, so you often put a pile of pillows between you and curl up on your own sides of the bed unless you’re both feeling uncharacteristically cuddly.

Roxas

Baby boy likes to have a cup of warm milk before bed, and it’s a habit that you’ve definitely adopted from him.  There’s something about it that just makes you super relaxed when you curl up in bed.

Speaking of curled up, part of his bedtime routine is to be curled up under the covers but with the temperature really cold.  It took some getting used to, but eventually you got used to sleeping in a freezing room at night.  He thinks it’s the perfect atmosphere for sleeping in and even though you’re skeptical, you let him keep his routine.

Sometimes, he’s in the mood to watch a movie or a TV show before falling asleep.

Xion

Xion used to have trouble sleeping, so you tried to help her find a few things that would help her fall asleep at night.  It turned out that she loves having a sound machine playing noises in her room as she falls asleep. She’s particularly fond of crickets chirping and storm clouds rumbling in the distance.

Likes to have some sort of light in the room. Not necessarily a nightlight or something, but she might open the curtains and let the moonlight shine in.  She thinks it’s both pretty and relaxing.

You both usually share a nice cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows before bed.

[mbtiwebcomic]

I’m not sure if I’m an INTP or an ENTP... I relate to both sides of the coin, and they have all the same functions... I’m at least sure I’m an XNTP because all my other categories were 70-30% ish. I fit into the trollish and teasing behavior of an ENTP, but the INTP description was also really accurate... any thoughts?”

Oh boy, have you chosen the worst possible person to ask :DOkay, I’m gonna start with this great excerpt from a Quora thread on the topic:

“INTPs have a worldview that’s structured around Introverted Thinking, or Ti, and that leads them to be in-depth investigators. Whatever intrigues us, we want to learn EVERYTHING about it…we’ll dig into the entire forest related to a topic to understand one tree at the deepest level we possibly can. We’re writing and reading Wikipedia pages, both literally and figuratively, and we’re building our own mental Wikipedia on things we care about.

INTP’s primary support function is Extroverted Intuition (Ne), which helps us to look at the world and see patterns, and come up with new ideas of how things are connected. Ne as a support helps our Ti to confirm its theories in the real world by comparing the data it picks up to the encyclopedia’s predictions. It also helps Ti find new things worth investigating, and makes connections between the topics in the vast encyclopedia of knowledge Ti spends its time writing.

But, an INTP lives inside first, working on that encyclopedia with Ti. They go out with their Ne to find supporting info, or to get new ideas for encyclopedia pages.

ENTPs, on the other hand, have Ne in charge, and Ti supporting. Their Ne-centric world is full of possibilities, and they’re excited to talk about them. They live in the world, creating new ideas, seeing fresh possibilities that others might miss. And they’re far more vocal than INTPs are because of that.

With Ti in a support position, however, it becomes an adviser to Ne. Picture Ti support as a resourceful librarian, hearing Ne’s idea and pulling out internal reference books to check out how feasible the idea is. A calmer side, perhaps, that’s less caught up in the idea itself, and can screen it to see if it’s truly a valid, useful idea.

Ti the librarian, to me, is probably not going to be as in-depth as the INTP’s encyclopedia writer, however, because it doesn’t have time to be. Ideas are flowing a mile a minute in an ENTP’s mind, and the Ti support guy doesn’t get paid enough to dig into them as far as he might otherwise. Besides, Ne moves on so quickly to the next big idea that Ti’s efforts would be wasted digging further.

ENTPs run on Ne, so they look like Ne. Things that are said in conversations spark random connections, and sometimes, it might even happen from things they say and send the whole conversation on a sudden tangent mid-sentence. When they don’t let Ti screen the ideas before speaking them, they can just sound like Crazy Idea Man who doesn’t sync with reality.

INTPs work things in the opposite direction, with Ti getting the final say, so they won’t have the same effect of seeming like they’re thinking as they go. They don’t consider the thought to be worth expressing until Ti’s had a chance to look into it, and that doesn’t generally happen on the fly — Ti’s too thorough to let the words out that casually.”

INTPs and ENTPs, while similar, can be strikingly different. Both types go through “phases”, during which they are hyper-fixated on a certain topic, and want to learn everything about it. However, INTPs tend to go much deeper into their research, and, because of that, and their higher Si, their obsession tends to last more. ENTPs, however, with their inferior Si, and dominant Ne (which craves change and opportunities 24/7), can’t be boxed within one idea for long periods of time, and their phases usually last up to a week, while their Introverted cousins usually devote a month/month and a half to their newfound interest. I have also found INTPs returning more often to old obsessions than ENTPs (possibly because of their higher Si).

Other differences:

Due to their dominant Ne, ENTPs show their goofy, trolling and positive side to everyone they meet, and their cynical and rational side shines only when in the presence of people they know well. Likewise, INTPs show their cynical, intelligent and rational side to acquaintances, while their quirks surface amongst friends.

ENTPs usually come across as charming, and they can pick up signs of how people around them are feeling. They see the world as a game, and like to tease, manipulate, or find out ways to make people do as they want. INTPs, due to their inferior Fe, are completely oblivious to feelings, and are content approaching social situations only in theory. “I could manipulate this person, but why should I?” “I could put laxatives in this person’s drink, but why would I?”. INTPs’ Ti acts as a filter against pointless, but fun decisions. ENTPs’ Ti doesn’t have that much power.

ENTPs are much more rebellious against anything that can take away their freedom, while INTPs see the value in conventional order and traditional forms of structure, and are a bit more patient with it.

ENTPs, due to their inferior Si, are much more impulsive, and tend to “leap before they look”. INTPs, however, are more in touch with their Si, leading them to be more cautious, which can grow into complete paranoia during the time they develop it (late teens - early adulthood)

INTPs, due to their inferior Fe, can be extremely self-conscious about everything. This can range from self-hate to meticulously inspecting anything they say or do, in a fear of not accidentally offending anybody, or saying something embarrassing. ENTPs also have this problem, albeit to a much lesser degree.

Both types are prone to ignoring the outside world and get completely engrossed in a project or an idea, but, because of their status as Introverts, INTPs are more likely to do so for longer.

ENTPs tend to appear energetic and outgoing to others, even though they experience long periods of introverted focus and analysis. INTPs tend to appear laid-back and reserved to others, even though they have bouts of excitement and enthusiasm.

INTPs desire to be independent and self-reliant much more than ENTPs. They tend to think they are the only person who can do the job perfectly, according to the standards set by them. ENTPs aren’t as reluctant to ask for help.

When ENTPs have an idea, they jump at it and would rather change the obstacles in the world that prevent its execution, rather than change the idea itself. When INTPs have an idea, they take their time to customize it to fit both the rules of the world around them and to live up to their standards.

“ENTPs are on an eternal quest for possibility, backed up by logic and accuracy. INTPs are on an eternal quest for truth, backed up by possibility.”

Hope this helps! I would recommend reading these two profiles for the two types, as they are good and go into functions:

ENTP

INTP

You might also wanna check the 16personalities profiles, they don’t go into functions, but I like them (even though they have a HUGE iNtuitive bias)

Sources used:

Quora thread

A very good article on Thought Catalog

[fyrapartnersearch]

✥ V's Quest to find some awesome RP Partners ✥

Hello there! My name’s V, I’ve been roleplaying for about 7-8 years and I’m 18+! I’m a female (In case anyone was curious) and I’m currently looking for some awesome, literate partners to roleplay with!

So, without further ado,

THINGS TO NOTE:

My writing style is usually in third person, past tense, multi-paragraphs. (I'm absolutely a-okay with semi-para too!)

 I enjoy plot-driven RPs the most. I have no issue with those that are mainly focused on only one element (e.g smut, etc...) but I personally prefer something that has all sorts of different elements in it! (In simpler terms though, I'm looking for 55-60% plot + 40-45% smut.)

I RP via email, Discord and sometimes Google docs. 

Decent grammar, please! I'm not extremely strict on literacy as I understand English isn't everyone's first language, but I do expect that you, at least, proofread your replies before sending it over. 

I’m pretty laid-back when it comes to post frequencies. I don’t mind if you’re someone who replies within a day, or someone who replies only once a week. I personally try my best to respond within two to three days but if I need more time (Life/work gets hectic and I can only respond once a week, etc etc...), I’ll be sure to let you know beforehand!

I currently do MxF pairings only, with me playing the female role. (I've tried playing a male character before but unfortunately, I don't feel I give the role proper credit. :( ) 

No one liners or extremely short replies please! I really appreciate a partner who puts in as much effort as I do. You don’t have to match me and I'm not the kind to have some sort of length requirement, but please try your best! It'll make me incredibly happy and motivated to respond back ASAP. 

No godmodding.

Don’t be afraid to talk to me! I adore chatting and plotting with my partners so if you’d like to chat about random stuff or possibly drown in RP feels, feel free to do so! (But of course, if you'd rather just get down to business, am fine with that too!)

You can check out my Turn Ons/Turn Offs at: https://www.f-list.net/c/blauerossen

If you see a pairing/genre you like below and have an idea that you think might interest me, feel free to send me an email!~ I'm always open to new things and ideas!

THEMES I LIKE / WANT TO EXPLORE:

Gang/Mafia

Romance

Smut

Psychological Thriller / Torment

Corruption

Dark/Twisted Themes

Action

Thriller

Taboo

Slice of Life

Post-Apocalyptic

Fantasy

Sci-Fi

Medieval

Edo Period

PAIRINGS  (Bold = Current craving)

Survivor x Survivor (Post-apocalyptic setting)

Android x Human

Kidnapper x Victim

Criminal x Criminal

DemiGod x Human

Prince x Princess

Butler x Princess/heiress

Spy/Assassin x Spy/Assassin

Spy/Assassin x Cop

Assassin x Target

Mob member x Mob underboss

Mob boss's son x Opposing mob boss' daughter

Cop x Criminal

Teacher x Student

Human x Mythical being

Master x Slave

Student x Student

Boss x Employee

+ more. (Just shoot me an email with a pairing you might have in mind!)

PLOT BUNNIES:

The roles in these plots can be reversed unless stated otherwise, and I don’t write much about my partner’s character’s background as I prefer to leave those lovely bits up to them!:

#01 | Psychological Thriller / Master x Slave (heavily inspired by Woojin and Joonhoon’s relationship from ATEOTR):

When my character’s father decided to remarry, it was a scary change. She didn't know how things would go but upon getting to know her step-mother and bonding with her step-sibling, things didn't seem so bad. 

Her step-sister, in particular, seemed to have much in common with her, and it came to a point where they were once almost inseparable. But as time went by though, she started noticing some 'changes'.

Her father’s once undying love and attention towards her seemed to be halved now, and the people that surrounded them started comparing her to her step-sister.

She tried to brush it off at the beginning— simply pretending not to notice whenever it happened during functions they'd attend but eventually, feelings of dissatisfaction and envy slowly arose. She didn't understand what was it that had set her apart from her step-sibling. Was she simply not trying hard enough at everything? Or was this just a simple game of favoritism?

As the hatred and bitterness grew within her, she found herself going astray — hanging out with the rebellious crowd and venturing into places she shouldn’t be going to.

This is where she’d encounter your character. (We can definitely change or alter him if you had other character ideas in mind but personally, I envision him to be someone who's surrounded by people that both respect and fear him. They’re attracted to his allure and charm, as well as his strong and authoritative presence but they also fear him due to his dark and twisted nature. He might be someone who's good with words, enabling him to be friends with socialites/businessmen and those from the underground society. He's probably someone who's cunning, intelligent and extremely twisted.)

Upon meeting one another, he could see her as an interesting subject; a possible new "pawn" whom he could control and make use of until he got bored of her.  She in turn could find him maddening but entrancing, a person she kept on going back to despite his wicked ways.

Whether they eventually fall in love or are forever stuck in this cat-and-mouse game is entirely up to us but basically, they're two hollow-hearted characters trapped in a complicated relationship.

-

#02 | Mafia/crime: Your character is the son of organization A’s boss and mine, organization B’s. The two groups which were once rivals decides to form an alliance. (The reason can be as simple as them feeling they’d be better off ending their feud, or it can be that another organization is coming up, and they think said group is going to be a huge threat to them all.).

After much discussion, the two leaders decide that the best way to end their feud and establish their new found alliance is to have an arranged relationship/marriage between their children.

We can honestly go many ways with this plot. It can be a lighthearted one where two characters who used to despise each other slowly fall for one another, or it can be full of chaos where family conflict, betrayal, etc.. takes place. Anything goes with this idea, really.

-

#03 | Post-Apocalyptic: Ever since the terrifying zombie outbreak occurred, my character has been on the move; raiding every house/building she passes by, and avoiding any possible encounter with other survivors. However, a bad fall and an injured arm has her desperately seeking for shelter. 

How she meets your character is entirely up to us/you. He can be another survivor who happens to chance upon her somewhere, or he can be hiding out in a house/place that she decides to check out. He can even be a leader or “governor” of some sort who ends up finding her wandering near their base.

-

#04 | Edo Period: This probably takes place in the 17th century where Yoshiwara still existed. My character would either be an apprentice or a high ranking courtesan working at Yoshiwara, and your character can be anyone you’d like him to be! He can be a samurai looking to relax after a hard day's work, a yakuza member wanting to hide from his foes, a foreigner from abroad (I know, I know. Foreigners weren’t exactly welcomed still then but since this is the RP world… Anything can happen. c; ) or anything else you fancy.

Just like #01, the genre/theme for this is flexible!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s all from me! Thank you for checking out my post, and please feel free to send me an email at blauerossen@gmail.com if you’re interested in roleplaying! Thank you!

[der-aggressor]

I want to be an asshole All the numbers

Curious, huh? You are lucky that I would grant beautiful boys every wish. But don’t expect I won’t demand a reward for my effort…

   1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me?I have to admit I like both, but blindfolding you would be the bigger pleasure for me since I tend to be rather dominant when it comes to boys.

   2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse?Depends on the skills of my partner and how much they turn me on in general. Piercings and split tongues are very likely to impress me, but on the other hand intercourse feels great, too, since I have a pierced dick. There is no general answer to this question to me.

   3. What was your high school sex fantasy?I have no memories of high school because of a stupid ‘accident’, so I can’t answer this.

   4. What’s your favorite position?My partner sitting on my lap, because even though it maybe isn’t the most effective position for both it’s perfectly intimate (yeah, I can be romantic, too…). Missionary style is fine of course, too, because of eye contact and choking and spitting…but I wouldn’t have something against a great doggy style as well. Sometimes you’re just in an animalic mood.

   5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?I’m pretty self confident about my body, I like my chest and my stomach, but real talk: My tongue is the sexiest part. It’s long and likes to crawl in openings. Otherwise…you decide.

   6.  Do you like to swallow?Of course.

   7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?I won’t name any names here, but usually there are boys in my mind with cheeky, attractive faces and body modifications. Nothing is hotter than steel and paint decorating the skin.

   8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why?Good. Why? It’s most of the time good if both partners are into the same things/expect the same from each other. I had ones who didn’t understand what bdsm means (because mostly I do bdsm) and even didn’t seem to want to learn about it, what only can lead to disappointments. You have to be willing to take things as they come and even better tell me about the things that turn you on so I can respond to you in the best way. It’s a rather complex topic, but I have to say most of the time I made good experiences, and so was my last one.

   9. Where is one place you would never have sex?Never? I truly can’t think of any. Nothing is too dirty or too risky, I guess.

   10. Top or bottom?Both, but I can rather live without being bottom/submisse than being top/dominant.

   11.  Best sexual complement you ever got?It’s enough if you say or let me feel how much you want me to do something. Or trust me deeply.

   12. When was the first time you masturbated?Can’t answer this, too, since I have no memories of my teenage years.

   13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside?Of course. Probably it’s the most fun. Freedom. And risk. What else can you ask for?

   14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?This is a secret.

   15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?I feel best in nothing than my own skin, so I prefer sleeping naked. Or if it’s cold with underwear on.

   16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?I tried out very much, but at the moment maybe pistol play or doctor and patient-roleplay. I’m very much into this, you can’t tell.

   17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker?I’ve never seen a weird orgasm face, so show me one to win an award. No, real talk: Don’t be afraid of your o-face, it’s hot as fuck and if you think it might look weird you will ruin your fun. Rather than this some moaning voices are way more unattractive than an o-face.

   18. Do you have a gag reflex?Haha. It takes much to trigger it, I guess.

   19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop?Oh, I can’t complain in any way. These days it’s totally award-winning, but don’t you think I’m already totally satisfied…

   20. Are piercings sexy?Next question, please. Seriously, piercings are the main reason for me to want to fuck someone most of the time.

   21. Can/Have you ever squirted before?Not relatable.

   22. List your kinks.There are way too many. It’s easier to tell what I’m not into: Vomit and shit, these are definitely my hard limits. Most important kinks are everything that includes tongues and saliva, bondage, dirty talk/humiliation and face slapping, to mention a few of my favorites.

   23. How did you discover you were kinky?I just were. It’s as easy as that.

   24. What was your first kinky sexual experience?This was with my past master I guess. He had much of sexual equipment and I decided to try something out, so it all began with a crop and a stingy ass…

   25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?It’s usually easier to find a slave than a master, so when I discovered I was dominant, too, it totally improved my life and opened me many ways I wouldn’t be able to experience if I wasn’t a switcher.

   26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?This is probably the perfect question for me since I had a bdsm relationship some time ago and…yes, broke free from it.I guess it’s better if you don’t play 27/4 because it’s just not inconsistent with the normal life of a person. It boxes you in your role all the time, and for a continuance it may destroy your relationship since it got a burden and so the fun fades. Bdsm is not just playing a role for me, of course, but if you ask me no person can be dominant or submissive all the time and have the full control over the life of their partner.

   27. Something that never fails to make you horny:Getting praised like a god. Yeah, I’m vain.

   28. Where is one place you would never have sex?We already had this question if I remember this right…

   29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:My partner and me got entangled with our piercings…his smiley and my guiche. Just take care!

   30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.)Depends on how long someone should be bound. If it’s for a rather short amount of time I’d choose handcuffs (because steel is tempting). But for some positions you just have to take ropes since you can’t lock handcuffs on anything and can’t make someone unable to move at all with…

   31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny?Just be a good dirty talker, I’m a sucker for this since imagination and desire is sometimes even sexier than the real thing. (What doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to dry hump you from the first moment you looked me in the eyes…)

   32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:My pistol. It’s not for little boys to play with.

   33. Two things you like/dislike about oral sex:Like: Tongue action, amounts of saliva and cute puppy eyes looking up to you.Dislike: It’s a a little hard if your partner has a distinct gag reflex, if you have bad luck they’d vomit all over your cock, and that’s definitely a killer for the mood. The only disadvantage when I’m the one who gives head is that I won’t be able to tease with words, hehe.

   34. How big is too big?I don’t care much about size. Never thought about this.

   35. One sexual thing you would never do:Like I said before: Vomit and shit are my hard limits.

   36. Three spots that drive me insane:Ear, neck, armpits. And the usual areas.

   37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?More than anything. I’m craving for all reactions of my partners. Reactions are my fetish.

   38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum?I don’t think so. If I don’t cum, doesn’t it mean that it wasn’t turning me on enough?

   39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not?I watch all kind of porns, but gay porn will be forever my favorite I guess. Why? I may be pansexual, but I clearly tend to boys and I’m attracted to them the most. Good femdom porn is hard to find, so there are not so many options left, hehe.

   40.  If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be now?Weird question. It would be still a new born.

   41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not?I like it, of course, since sometimes it’s more blessed to give than to revieve…I just like to pamper my partners and make them feel good. That’s as important as my own pleasure.

   42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them?Indeed the most of them I bought not a long time ago. In Germany I had nothing but toys for my own pleasure, but back in Japan I purchased things like ropes and handcuffs and so on. So I have them since a few months, they are all like new…

   43. Do you watch porn?Look at my blog. I do. Not all the time, but there are periods where I almost do nothing else all day long.

   44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)I don’t remember and: No. Whoever my parents may be…

   45. How would you react if you found out your parents had sex on your bed?Which parents would do this? Sound like horrible parents. It’s disgusting if you ask me, and I would say this to them.

   46. Spanking: turn on or turn off?Turn on!

   47.  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?Bedpost. I even filmed it because it looked spectacular, but I guess the movie had destroyed itself before bad things could happen.

   48. Biggest sexual fantasy?Fucking someone in the subway at night. Or kidnapping someone (of course only if the other person agrees me to do this). Caging him in a cottage in the forest for days. Fucking him whenever I want to. Acting like I would kill him if he runs away or if no one wants to pay ransom money for him. This would be a thrilling adventure…

   49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?In the cellar by surprise. If this isn’t possible I would do you on the kitchen table, the other options are uncomfortable and not my number one choice, but if you’re horny and need a quickie it may be enough, too.

   50. Thoughts on period sex?I indeed would have no problem with it. On the contrary I would even like it.

[thomasconleyweb]

Benefits of Pairing Low-Carb Eating with Intermittent Fasting for Health and Weight Loss

Most of the low-carbers I know end up experimenting with intermittent fasting at some point in their journey, and most of the IFers I know end up drifting toward low-carb eating as time wears on.

Why?

Is it just a case of overlapping interests? Is it because when you stumble upon one big lie perpetrated by the experts—that cutting carbs will give you heart disease and leave your brain starving for energy/you must eat 6-8 small meals a day or else risk “starvation mode” and “slow metabolism”—you start questioning all the other advice they give?

It might be some of that. But a big reason why intermittent fasting and low-carb eating tend to converge is that they are synergistic. Doing one makes the other work better, and vice versa.

What are the benefits? What are the synergies?

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb. Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb.

The two inputs support each other. Rather than a vicious cycle, it’s a virtuous one. Fasting promotes fat-adaptation by upregulating fat-burning mitochondria, spurring the creation of new mitochondria, and reducing your reliance on sugar. Fat-adaptation makes going low-carb easier, because you’re really good at burning body fat and don’t get so many sugar cravings. Going low-carb makes you even better at burning fat and builds even more mitochondria, which is a prerequisite for fasting for extended periods of time.

If low-carb is going to work, you have to do it. If fasting is going to work, you have to fast. Anything that makes those easier is going to be good for your health. That’s where it all starts.

You’ll burn more fat.

A 2013 study compared low-fat dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule with low-carb dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule. Both groups lost weight and improved metabolic health markers, but the low-carbers lost more body fat.

A more recent study putting low-carbers on a fasting schedule for six months saw their body fat drop, lean mass remain stable, and fasting insulin decrease. However, there was no control group and the low-carb diet was still 30% carbs. I think you’d see better results if you dropped those carbs down even lower.

You’ll lose less muscle.

One common criticism lobbed at intermittent fasting enthusiasts is that it has the potential to cause muscle loss. This is a valid point. If you are insufficiently fat-adapted, your glucose requirements will remain elevated when fasting, and you may break down muscle tissue for the amino acids to convert to glucose.

Luckily, ketones spare muscle tissue by reducing your need for glucose. It turns out that a fair number of tissues that would otherwise run on glucose can run on ketones. Being in a ketogenic or low-carb fat-burning state before you fast accentuates this effect. It’s no wonder that the studies mentioned in the last section found that weight loss via low-carb dieting and fasting was entirely from body fat.

Bump up the muscle-sparing effect even more by lifting heavy things (even during the fast).

You’ll forget to eat.

A major reason low-carb and keto diets work so well for weight loss is that they increase satiety and inadvertently reduce calories. Whereas your average calorie-counter is painstakingly tracking everything he or she eats and expends just to wrangle a few pounds lost, the low-carb dieter often just eats to satiety and lets the weight loss happen.

The average low-carber will fast without even thinking about it. They fast because they simply aren’t hungry and forget to eat. Someone on a higher-carb “regular” diet often must summon superhuman willpower to fast. They fast in spite of being ravenous and can think of nothing else but eating.

Forgetting to eat is a much easier way to fast than willing yourself to do it.

You’ll avoid harmful postprandial blood sugar spikes.

Eating a high-carb meal after fasting for two days will spike your postprandial blood sugar. Eating a low-carb meal after fasting for two days will likely not. Why?

Consider the problem of the long-term low-carber trying to pass a glucose tolerance test. It’s common for long-term low-carbers to “fail” glucose tolerance tests because they’re trying to handle 75 grams of pure glucose with a fat-based metabolism. The body is set up to burn fat and you suddenly introduce a bunch of glucose. It’s hard to do, and most people will fail that—even if they’re healthy.

When you’re coming off a fast, you’re burning fat. You may not have the glucose intolerance of a long-term low-carber, but you are running on fat, and that’s going to raise the chance of exaggerated postprandial blood sugar numbers.

If you do want to eat carbs after a fast, the best way to mitigate this issue is to break the fast with a hard workout and then eat the carbs. You’ll “simulate” glucose tolerance by clearing out glycogen and providing open storage depots for the incoming carbohydrates.

Or you could just be a low-carber to begin with and avoid the problem altogether.

You’re less likely to overdo the re-feeds.

Fasting is a great way to induce caloric deficits and thus lose weight. That’s pretty much why it works so well, as an artificial boundary to control our eating and snacking habits. However, people can tend to go a little wild on the re-feeds. They haven’t eaten all day, so of course they’re going to pig out when they break the fast and eat all sorts of foods they wouldn’t otherwise eat—and eat way more calories than they would have, thereby counteracting all the good they did not eating.

If you’re sticking to low-carb or keto principles, the re-feed is safer. You’re less likely to overeat, because low-carb is so satiating. You’re less likely to eat junk, because the “rules” of the diet eliminate most of the offending foods like chips, sweets, and fried carbohydrates.

Your insulin will normalize.

When insulin is elevated, fat is locked away in our adipose tissue, making it very difficult to burn fat. Hyperinsulinemia, or chronically elevated insulin, also increases the risk of cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, and elevated insulin levels are linked to atherosclerosis.

Intermittent fasting is a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. This recent study found that, despite causing similar reductions in body weight, alternate day fasting led to greater improvements in insulin and insulin resistance than regular caloric restriction.

Low-carb eating is also a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. As it turns out, avoiding carbohydrates reduces one’s insulin load.

I’m no enemy of insulin. It serves many valuable purposes, and we wouldn’t be alive without it. But too much insulin at the wrong time causes undeniable problems—and combining IF with low-carb can normalize it.

So, should you avoid fasting if you’re not low-carb?

Not necessarily.

Fasting while low-carb isn’t the only way to do it. Many people have great success combining high-carb dieting with fasting, provided they also lift weights. One popular (and effective) method is to go high-carb, low-fat on training days, with the workout coming at the tail end of the fast and the first meal coming after the workout. Then on rest days, you break the fast with low-carb, high-fat meals. The training stimulus increases insulin sensitivity and gives all those carbs a place to go (your muscle glycogen stores).

But combining low-carb and intermittent fasting really does increase and accentuate the benefits of both practices.

Thanks for reading, everyone. I’d love to hear about your experiences with intermittent fasting and low-carb eating. Do you find that the two go hand in hand, or have you also had success fasting with a higher-carb diet?

References

Klempel MC, Kroeger CM, Varady KA. Alternate day fasting (ADF) with a high-fat diet produces similar weight loss and cardio-protection as ADF with a low-fat diet. Metab Clin Exp. 2013;62(1):137-43.

Kalam F, Gabel K, Cienfuegos S, et al. Alternate day fasting combined with a low-carbohydrate diet for weight loss, weight maintenance, and metabolic disease risk reduction. Obes Sci Pract. 2019;5(6):531-539.

Mujaj B, Bos D, Kavousi M, et al. Serum insulin levels are associated with vulnerable plaque components in the carotid artery: the Rotterdam Study. Eur J Endocrinol. 2020;

Gabel K, Kroeger CM, Trepanowski JF, et al. Differential Effects of Alternate-Day Fasting Versus Daily Calorie Restriction on Insulin Resistance. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2019;27(9):1443-1450.

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[lotsofdogs]

Postpartum Q&A: Part One

I’m not sure what it is but whenever I sit down to write about anything related to this postpartum time period, it seems to take me forever to assemble my very-jumbled thoughts and get a blog post together. Maybe that is because that is kind of how life feels to me during this time — very jumbled but very beautiful. It’s exhausting and incredible. It’s challenging and emotional and wonderful and I’m still very much learning how to navigate life as a mom of two.

After I shared my first postpartum blog post, I asked you guys to let me know of any questions you wanted me to address in an upcoming blog post. I put the request out on Instagram Stories as well and received so many awesome questions. I ended up compiling them into a list that was very, very long! I didn’t anticipate breaking this Q&A-style post up into two posts but since I’ve been working on answering your questions for a while now, I figured that might be the smart thing to do otherwise I may never actually get this blog post up!

So many of the questions I received were similar so hopefully those of you who submitted a question will find the answer to your question in today’s post or the followup post. I’m doing my best to keep this Q&A as organized as possible and sorted your questions into the following categories:

Emotional and Physical Recovery

All About Ryder

Breastfeeding

The Two-Kid Transition

I will also be sharing a post dedicated solely to our newborn baby “must haves” since that was, by far, the most common request/question I received.

For today’s post, I’ll be addressing my emotional and physical recovery and all questions related specifically to Ryder!

Also, as you read this post and the future posts about my postpartum journey, please keep in mind that I am simply doing my best to share things from my perspective surrounding my personal experiences. Everyone is so different when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum life, just like our babies are all so different. Some things I say might not appeal or apply to you and that’s tooootally okay!

Emotional and Physical Recovery

Did you experience any baby blues or postpartum anxiety or depression? 

I did not experience any postpartum baby blues or depression after the birth of Chase or Ryder but it’s not something I think anyone should ever feel ashamed of experiencing. I also wouldn’t say I’ve experienced postpartum anxiety but after Chase was born, I feel like I absolutely became a more anxious and worried person in general and this has carried on with Ryder. With both of my boys, I’ve found myself worrying about their health and safety and their future in more intense ways than I ever thought I would before I had children.

Did you encapsulate your placenta again this time around?

Yes I did! For those of you who may be new to the blog, you may read all about placenta encapsulation and why I chose to do it in this post: Placenta Encapsulation: Why I Did It, How I Did It and Would I Do It Again?

Was your recovery different or more difficult this time around? How did having an active toddler impact your recovery? 

I feel very fortunate to have experienced a pretty easy recovery from a physical standpoint and feel like my recovery after Ryder’s birth was easier than my physical recovery after I had Chase. I had two stitches after a fairly fast labor and was honestly shocked at how quickly I was able to walk around with very little pain or discomfort. A few other random things I noticed from a physical standpoint in the first few weeks postpartum included a very weak core (I did a lot of rolling onto my side to sit/stand up), intense night sweats, headaches and seriously ravenous hunger.

As far as how having an active toddler impacted my recovery, there’s no denying that Chase made it a LOT harder to simply rest when Ryder was sleeping since I still wanted to give Chase attention and make his transition into being a big brother as seamless as possible. After Chase was born, I basically hibernated for months until I was ready to leave the comfort of our home for an extended period of time. This time around that simply wasn’t the case mainly because keeping Chase at home all day sounded terrible (hopefully those with active toddlers feel me on this one!) and I also felt WAY more confident when it came to handling a newborn away from home.

When I thought about juggling two kids in the beginning, I was more than a little intimidated — How will I do nap time? What happens if I need to nurse when Chase is feeling extra needy? — and I feel fortunate that I was able to figure a lot of these things out during the time that my mom stayed with us after Ryder was born. My mom’s help was seriously the biggest gift to me since she stepped in and really helped most with Chase during her stay. With Ryan back at work right after we brought Ryder home from the hospital, help with Chase was exactly what I wanted and needed most so I could do my best to focus on Ryder as we established breastfeeding and tried to get him adjusted to life outside the womb. Also, from an emotional standpoint, sometimes the early days with a newborn can be rather lonely without a ton of adult interaction, so her company was wonderful for me, too.

Now, 11 weeks into life with two kids, there’s truly NO downtime during the day which, if I’m being totally honest, can feel really overwhelming. There’s no sugarcoating it and I always feel behind on work (and on life!) but we’re figuring things out day by day. Sometimes I look back on the day and realize the only thing I really accomplished was being a mom to my two boys and, honestly, that’s enough. I’m trying to remind myself that this phase of life is so short and so fleeting. I’m doing my best to embrace the chaos because I know that one day soon I’ll miss this wonderful insanity. Being a mom to my two boys, even on the hard, overwhelming and crazy days, is truly my favorite thing in the entire world.

I would love to hear your thoughts/experiences with family staying to help. My mom has generously offered to stay with us for 3 months after our baby is born, but I’m worried that it will be too long, and I will crave family time, but I also don’t know what to expect since it is our first baby! I’m really close with my mom and we don’t have other family in the area, so I know this is a huge gift, I am just nervous to commit to it without really understanding our needs once baby comes.

This is such a good question and so much of my answer depends on your relationship with your mom and her ability to really and truly help. We also do not have family in the area and after Chase and Ryder were both born, my mom came to stay with us for a couple of weeks and it was so, so incredible. To say I am grateful we had her stay with us after our babies were born would be a serious understatement and it’s something I know Ryan would echo as well.

My mom seemed to innately know what we needed and, for the most part, that wasn’t simply holding our baby. Help mostly came in the form of throwing in a load of laundry, preparing a quick meal, encouraging me to shower and take an hour to myself to work on this blog, etc. After Ryder was born, her help looked a lot more like entertaining Chase while I cared for Ryder which was HUGE. I think many new moms are terrible about asking for help (myself absolutely included!) but so many mothers encouraged me to accept help during the postpartum time frame and I am so glad I did.

I say this in one breath but I can absolutely see how having someone stay with you for an extended period of time could add stress to an already stressful time. I think that’s when understanding your relationship with your mom is so important and possibly even discussing what “help” really looks like or means to both of you ahead of time might be beneficial. It can feel uncomfortable to ask for exactly what you need even from your own mother but the ability to do this is so important since everyone’s postpartum needs are different and may even vary from day-to-day. During your mom’s stay, I would just say to be as open and communicative as possible.

Another thing to consider is how you’ll feel about having someone around all the time. I personally really like and value my alone time and my mom is the same way. She’s also pretty independent and during her visits she would still attend Jazzercise classes almost every day and get out and about which I think also helped since it never felt like we were on top of each other for weeks on end. I also kept communication very open with Ryan during this time so we were always on the same page regarding the duration of my mom’s visit.

Has your pelvic floor recovery been different this time around? Better or worse?

When I was pregnant, I was terrified about the state of my pelvic floor during the postpartum period after Ryder was born. I feel like my pelvic floor muscles were incredibly weak during my pregnancy with Ryder and I figured they would be horrific after another delivery. This is not something I experienced during my pregnancy with Chase but I think the fact that I would honestly pee myself when I’d cough or sneeze during my pregnancy with Ryder can be attributed to weakened pelvic floor muscles that I had after my first pregnancy that never fully recovered.

I’m not sure why or how this is possible but I feel so much better with regard to pelvic floor recovery this time around. That’s not to say things are perfect or back to normal, but I don’t feel like I’m leaking all the time which is such a relief. I am also trying to be smart about my recovery and avoid exercises that stress pelvic floor muscles so I will not be able to speak to whether or not I will be able to do things like tuck jumps without peeing for quite a while!

I’ve also spoken with a physical therapist who basically said that peeing yourself all the time after having a baby, while very common, isn’t something you should have to live with so I am absolutely still considering seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist as I continue to recover.

Did you notice anything different from the way you felt from an emotional standpoint during your pregnancy and postpartum period with baby number one versus baby number two? 

Yes! Honestly, I felt completely different during both pregnancies and even the way I felt after delivering Ryder was different. During my pregnancy with Chase I was incredibly excited but I also experienced a feeling I can only describe as disbelief. I remember feeling like the experience was almost surreal and I had a hard time really picturing our baby or my new role as a mother.

Losing two babies in between my first pregnancy and my fourth pregnancy with Ryder undoubtedly shaped the way I felt during my most recent pregnancy. I was incredibly scared and anxious and almost wanted to distance myself from the pregnancy in the beginning because I was terrified of another missed miscarriage and deeply worried that we would lose another baby. I felt like I was holding my breath for months. I wish I could say I loved my prenatal appointments but I was truly so anxious during every ultrasound and just prayed hard for the day I hoped and prayed would come when I would get to hold our baby in my arms.

On a more positive note, I remember that toward the end of my pregnancy with Ryder, I felt this overwhelming sense of understanding just how much my life was about to change in the most amazing way. I saw my capacity to love and care for a child explode after Chase was born and knowing I was on the brink of holding another baby I was about to fall more and more in love with every day was really incredible. It also seemed to make pregnancy feel more “real” in a sense.

During the postpartum period in the weeks after we brought both Chase and Ryder home, I feel like my emotions were rather similar. I was definitely more emotional and a lot more sensitive than usual after Chase was born and felt the same way after Ryder’s birth. One piece of advice a friend gave to me before Chase was born helped me a lot during both postpartum periods and that was to simply ask yourself if you are tired when you feel overwhelmed, weepy, angry, frustrated, etc. So often my heightened emotions were (and are) intensified by just feeling really, really tired.

Have you noticed any difference in your body image after baby number two versus baby number one? 

I was honestly pretty surprised about how relaxed I felt about my postpartum body after I delivered Chase. I thought I’d be much more focused on losing the weight I gained during pregnancy than I was and it took me a solid nine months to return to my pre-pregnancy weight. (This is not to say I lost the baby weight without any thought or effort but it took me around six months to really feel an itch to put more thought into losing the last 10 pounds or so.) It just wasn’t a priority or a focus for me and now, with two kids in the mix, I’m seeing a similar pattern surface. I undoubtedly feel softer after this pregnancy and notice more cellulite and a squishier belly than I did after my first pregnancy but I’m trying hard to give myself grace.

Stepping away from Instagram (aka the land of perfectly put-together moms and rock-hard abs at 8 weeks postpartum) and reminding myself that everyone’s bodies and postpartum journeys are different is KEY because sometimes I’ll find myself feeling really down when I try to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes and look like a disaster. I’m not going to lie and pretend to be over here absolutely loving every inch of my postpartum body — you better believe I have moments where I cannot help but zero in on my love handles flowing over the sides of my shorts or tops clinging to my midsection in ways they didn’t before — but I have SO MUCH respect for what my body just went through and am so grateful for every last dimple on my butt cheeks right now because I know that they are all part of the big picture that helped me bring the most amazing little life into this world.

One thing that REALLY helps me with my body image right now is prioritizing my workouts. (Notice I did not say “prioritizing weight loss” because these are two VERY different things to me.) Making it to Burn Boot Camp or to the gym several times a week makes me feel strong. It gives me a mental break from motherhood and provides me with more energy throughout the day. Surrounding myself with women who are encouraging and uplifting, especially during this postpartum season, is so pivotal for me from a mental health perspective, too. Sweating, lifting weights and doing something physical and beneficial for my health makes a big, big difference for me and reminds me that being healthy matters much more than the pair of jeans I can’t quite squeeze into just yet.

What are some of your favorite self-care things to do during the postpartum period? 

I actually had three people ask me about self care and it made me think I should probably be thinking more about it! Umm is it silly to say reading? Giving myself permission to unplug at the end of the night and not work or do anything other than curl up in bed with a book feels amazing and is, without a doubt, my favorite form of self care right now.

All About Ryder

Is Ryder on more or less of a schedule than Chase was as a newborn since you have two kids to worry about this time?

Ryder is on WAAAY less of a schedule than Chase was right now. I was reading all the books about sleep strategies and schedules with Chase at this point and I haven’t done a single thing with Ryder. I think he’s still pretty young to have a legitimate schedule (I believe Chase was around four months when he started having more predictable nap times) so I’m not doing anything other than going with the flow with Ryder at this point.

Ryder is great about napping on the go in my baby carrier or his car seat (he HATES his car seat when he’s awake but when he’s sleepy he will happily snooze away in that thing) but I have NO idea what we’ll do once a predictable nap schedule surfaces. I definitely think quality sleep is important and prioritize sleep with my kids so I’m sure I’ll adopt much more of a schedule when Ryder’s naps become more predictable and he’s less apt to snooze on the go.

Who do you think Ryder looks like? 

Chase! People said Ryder looked like Chase from the beginning and I didn’t see it at first but once Ryder turned 3 weeks old, I began seeing his big brother in him all the time. It’s crazy and so, so cool! I’ve also never really thought Chase or Ryder look like me or Ryan but many, many people say they do which I love. I do think Ryder looks a lot like I did as a baby though — we both had fluffy mohawks and similar facial features.

Where is Ryder sleeping? How long do you think Ryder will sleep in your room?

Ryder is currently sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed. We have the Chicco LullaGo Portable Bassinet that my friends at Chicco sent our way and it’s great! The bassinet is easy to assemble and simple to break down. We took it with us to Atlanta and loved it for baby travel sleep, too!

As far as how long Ryder will sleep in our room, I’m not sure. We’ll see how things go but I’m thinking we’ll likely keep him in our room for a couple more months and transition him into the crib in his nursery sometime between four and six months old.

What were some of the other names you considered for Ryder? 

As you know, Ryder didn’t have a name for nearly 48 hours! We honestly drove to the hospital without a solid name for a boy or a girl in our minds. Once Ryder was born, we waffled back and forth on a bunch of names but our top two boy names were Ryder and Cade.

My biggest hangup regarding Ryder’s name was the fact that Ryder and Chase are two names on a popular kid’s television show (Paw Patrol) but eventually I just had to let that go because we loved the name and its meaning (“warrior”) so much. At least Paw Patrol is a cute show and the Ryder and Chase characters are buddies! (I’m also seriously banking on the fact that Paw Patrol won’t be around forever.) For those who remember and have asked, YES, Ryder is the name I alluded to in this pregnancy post!

Now that Ryder is here, I’d love to know more about your thoughts on waiting to find out your baby’s sex. Would you do it again? 

I LOVED IT. And that’s a huge understatement! I truly never ever thought I would wait to find out our baby’s sex but it was the best! It was honestly the hardest not finding out up until the 18-week anatomy scan but once we got past that, it was awesome and so fun! Going into labor and still not knowing whether we were about to have a daughter or a son was incredible and kind of crazy. When you finally meet your baby it’s just the best surprise ever!

As far as whether or not we’d do it again, I absolutely would! Ryan, on the other hand, might kill me because he wanted to know the baby’s sex all along with this last pregnancy but I think I could talk him into waiting again should we have more children.

How do you feel about having two boys? 

I LOVE having two boys. Toward the end of my pregnancy, I began to really believe I would be having a second boy. (Maybe Chase’s steadfast assurance that the baby in Mom’s belly was a boy began to rub off on me?) When Ryder arrived, there was no piece of me that was even the slightest bit disappointed that we had another boy and I feel like I had that “I knew it” feeling when he was born. I was absolutely overcome with emotion when Ryder was born and sobbed because he was here and he was perfect.

One thing that has surprised me as a mom of two boys is just how many people have already asked us if we are going to “try for a girl.” If we decide to try for another child we will be trying for another child. I swear to you guys there is zero part of me that feels like I’m missing something by not having a girl. I love my boys and think being a mother to boys is the absolute best.. and that is coming from someone who initially thought she wanted a girl during her first pregnancy.

How is Sadie doing with Ryder? 

Aw Sadie! She is doing well!! Sadie admittedly had a rough adjustment when we brought Chase home from the hospital mainly because she was used to high-pitched voices being used only for her and the floor time that once signaled “go time” for doggie play suddenly often meant baby playtime, too. Plus, Sadie has never understood the concept of personal space and would legitimately sit her butt down on Chase’s belly when he was on the floor without realizing that certain things she could do with me or Ryan weren’t okay to do to a baby.

With Ryder, Sadie didn’t seem nearly as phased and has really rolled with the punches muuuch better. This isn’t to say she’s completely enamored with her two brothers (we still joke that Sadie’s favorite time of day is when the boys go to sleep) but she’s a little champ and doesn’t seem nearly as confused this time around. We really do still try to make it a point to give her lots of attention and cuddles which she soaks right up. She also loves sitting right up against me during my nursing sessions with Ryder which I think is the sweetest!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/postpartum-qa-part-one/

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Benefits of Pairing Low-Carb Eating with Intermittent Fasting for Health and Weight Loss

Most of the low-carbers I know end up experimenting with intermittent fasting at some point in their journey, and most of the IFers I know end up drifting toward low-carb eating as time wears on.

Why?

Is it just a case of overlapping interests? Is it because when you stumble upon one big lie perpetrated by the experts—that cutting carbs will give you heart disease and leave your brain starving for energy/you must eat 6-8 small meals a day or else risk “starvation mode” and “slow metabolism”—you start questioning all the other advice they give?

It might be some of that. But a big reason why intermittent fasting and low-carb eating tend to converge is that they are synergistic. Doing one makes the other work better, and vice versa.

What are the benefits? What are the synergies?

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb. Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb.

The two inputs support each other. Rather than a vicious cycle, it’s a virtuous one. Fasting promotes fat-adaptation by upregulating fat-burning mitochondria, spurring the creation of new mitochondria, and reducing your reliance on sugar. Fat-adaptation makes going low-carb easier, because you’re really good at burning body fat and don’t get so many sugar cravings. Going low-carb makes you even better at burning fat and builds even more mitochondria, which is a prerequisite for fasting for extended periods of time.

If low-carb is going to work, you have to do it. If fasting is going to work, you have to fast. Anything that makes those easier is going to be good for your health. That’s where it all starts.

You’ll burn more fat.

A 2013 study compared low-fat dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule with low-carb dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule. Both groups lost weight and improved metabolic health markers, but the low-carbers lost more body fat.

A more recent study putting low-carbers on a fasting schedule for six months saw their body fat drop, lean mass remain stable, and fasting insulin decrease. However, there was no control group and the low-carb diet was still 30% carbs. I think you’d see better results if you dropped those carbs down even lower.

You’ll lose less muscle.

One common criticism lobbed at intermittent fasting enthusiasts is that it has the potential to cause muscle loss. This is a valid point. If you are insufficiently fat-adapted, your glucose requirements will remain elevated when fasting, and you may break down muscle tissue for the amino acids to convert to glucose.

Luckily, ketones spare muscle tissue by reducing your need for glucose. It turns out that a fair number of tissues that would otherwise run on glucose can run on ketones. Being in a ketogenic or low-carb fat-burning state before you fast accentuates this effect. It’s no wonder that the studies mentioned in the last section found that weight loss via low-carb dieting and fasting was entirely from body fat.

Bump up the muscle-sparing effect even more by lifting heavy things (even during the fast).

You’ll forget to eat.

A major reason low-carb and keto diets work so well for weight loss is that they increase satiety and inadvertently reduce calories. Whereas your average calorie-counter is painstakingly tracking everything he or she eats and expends just to wrangle a few pounds lost, the low-carb dieter often just eats to satiety and lets the weight loss happen.

The average low-carber will fast without even thinking about it. They fast because they simply aren’t hungry and forget to eat. Someone on a higher-carb “regular” diet often must summon superhuman willpower to fast. They fast in spite of being ravenous and can think of nothing else but eating.

Forgetting to eat is a much easier way to fast than willing yourself to do it.

You’ll avoid harmful postprandial blood sugar spikes.

Eating a high-carb meal after fasting for two days will spike your postprandial blood sugar. Eating a low-carb meal after fasting for two days will likely not. Why?

Consider the problem of the long-term low-carber trying to pass a glucose tolerance test. It’s common for long-term low-carbers to “fail” glucose tolerance tests because they’re trying to handle 75 grams of pure glucose with a fat-based metabolism. The body is set up to burn fat and you suddenly introduce a bunch of glucose. It’s hard to do, and most people will fail that—even if they’re healthy.

When you’re coming off a fast, you’re burning fat. You may not have the glucose intolerance of a long-term low-carber, but you are running on fat, and that’s going to raise the chance of exaggerated postprandial blood sugar numbers.

If you do want to eat carbs after a fast, the best way to mitigate this issue is to break the fast with a hard workout and then eat the carbs. You’ll “simulate” glucose tolerance by clearing out glycogen and providing open storage depots for the incoming carbohydrates.

Or you could just be a low-carber to begin with and avoid the problem altogether.

You’re less likely to overdo the re-feeds.

Fasting is a great way to induce caloric deficits and thus lose weight. That’s pretty much why it works so well, as an artificial boundary to control our eating and snacking habits. However, people can tend to go a little wild on the re-feeds. They haven’t eaten all day, so of course they’re going to pig out when they break the fast and eat all sorts of foods they wouldn’t otherwise eat—and eat way more calories than they would have, thereby counteracting all the good they did not eating.

If you’re sticking to low-carb or keto principles, the re-feed is safer. You’re less likely to overeat, because low-carb is so satiating. You’re less likely to eat junk, because the “rules” of the diet eliminate most of the offending foods like chips, sweets, and fried carbohydrates.

Your insulin will normalize.

When insulin is elevated, fat is locked away in our adipose tissue, making it very difficult to burn fat. Hyperinsulinemia, or chronically elevated insulin, also increases the risk of cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, and elevated insulin levels are linked to atherosclerosis.

Intermittent fasting is a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. This recent study found that, despite causing similar reductions in body weight, alternate day fasting led to greater improvements in insulin and insulin resistance than regular caloric restriction.

Low-carb eating is also a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. As it turns out, avoiding carbohydrates reduces one’s insulin load.

I’m no enemy of insulin. It serves many valuable purposes, and we wouldn’t be alive without it. But too much insulin at the wrong time causes undeniable problems—and combining IF with low-carb can normalize it.

So, should you avoid fasting if you’re not low-carb?

Not necessarily.

Fasting while low-carb isn’t the only way to do it. Many people have great success combining high-carb dieting with fasting, provided they also lift weights. One popular (and effective) method is to go high-carb, low-fat on training days, with the workout coming at the tail end of the fast and the first meal coming after the workout. Then on rest days, you break the fast with low-carb, high-fat meals. The training stimulus increases insulin sensitivity and gives all those carbs a place to go (your muscle glycogen stores).

But combining low-carb and intermittent fasting really does increase and accentuate the benefits of both practices.

Thanks for reading, everyone. I’d love to hear about your experiences with intermittent fasting and low-carb eating. Do you find that the two go hand in hand, or have you also had success fasting with a higher-carb diet?

References

Klempel MC, Kroeger CM, Varady KA. Alternate day fasting (ADF) with a high-fat diet produces similar weight loss and cardio-protection as ADF with a low-fat diet. Metab Clin Exp. 2013;62(1):137-43.

Kalam F, Gabel K, Cienfuegos S, et al. Alternate day fasting combined with a low-carbohydrate diet for weight loss, weight maintenance, and metabolic disease risk reduction. Obes Sci Pract. 2019;5(6):531-539.

Mujaj B, Bos D, Kavousi M, et al. Serum insulin levels are associated with vulnerable plaque components in the carotid artery: the Rotterdam Study. Eur J Endocrinol. 2020;

Gabel K, Kroeger CM, Trepanowski JF, et al. Differential Effects of Alternate-Day Fasting Versus Daily Calorie Restriction on Insulin Resistance. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2019;27(9):1443-1450.

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Benefits of Pairing Low-Carb Eating with Intermittent Fasting for Health and Weight Loss

Most of the low-carbers I know end up experimenting with intermittent fasting at some point in their journey, and most of the IFers I know end up drifting toward low-carb eating as time wears on.

Why?

Is it just a case of overlapping interests? Is it because when you stumble upon one big lie perpetrated by the experts—that cutting carbs will give you heart disease and leave your brain starving for energy/you must eat 6-8 small meals a day or else risk “starvation mode” and “slow metabolism”—you start questioning all the other advice they give?

It might be some of that. But a big reason why intermittent fasting and low-carb eating tend to converge is that they are synergistic. Doing one makes the other work better, and vice versa.

What are the benefits? What are the synergies?

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb. Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Low-carb is easier when you fast.

Fasting is easier when you’re low-carb.

The two inputs support each other. Rather than a vicious cycle, it’s a virtuous one. Fasting promotes fat-adaptation by upregulating fat-burning mitochondria, spurring the creation of new mitochondria, and reducing your reliance on sugar. Fat-adaptation makes going low-carb easier, because you’re really good at burning body fat and don’t get so many sugar cravings. Going low-carb makes you even better at burning fat and builds even more mitochondria, which is a prerequisite for fasting for extended periods of time.

If low-carb is going to work, you have to do it. If fasting is going to work, you have to fast. Anything that makes those easier is going to be good for your health. That’s where it all starts.

You’ll burn more fat.

A 2013 study compared low-fat dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule with low-carb dieters on an alternate day fasting schedule. Both groups lost weight and improved metabolic health markers, but the low-carbers lost more body fat.

A more recent study putting low-carbers on a fasting schedule for six months saw their body fat drop, lean mass remain stable, and fasting insulin decrease. However, there was no control group and the low-carb diet was still 30% carbs. I think you’d see better results if you dropped those carbs down even lower.

You’ll lose less muscle.

One common criticism lobbed at intermittent fasting enthusiasts is that it has the potential to cause muscle loss. This is a valid point. If you are insufficiently fat-adapted, your glucose requirements will remain elevated when fasting, and you may break down muscle tissue for the amino acids to convert to glucose.

Luckily, ketones spare muscle tissue by reducing your need for glucose. It turns out that a fair number of tissues that would otherwise run on glucose can run on ketones. Being in a ketogenic or low-carb fat-burning state before you fast accentuates this effect. It’s no wonder that the studies mentioned in the last section found that weight loss via low-carb dieting and fasting was entirely from body fat.

Bump up the muscle-sparing effect even more by lifting heavy things (even during the fast).

You’ll forget to eat.

A major reason low-carb and keto diets work so well for weight loss is that they increase satiety and inadvertently reduce calories. Whereas your average calorie-counter is painstakingly tracking everything he or she eats and expends just to wrangle a few pounds lost, the low-carb dieter often just eats to satiety and lets the weight loss happen.

The average low-carber will fast without even thinking about it. They fast because they simply aren’t hungry and forget to eat. Someone on a higher-carb “regular” diet often must summon superhuman willpower to fast. They fast in spite of being ravenous and can think of nothing else but eating.

Forgetting to eat is a much easier way to fast than willing yourself to do it.

You’ll avoid harmful postprandial blood sugar spikes.

Eating a high-carb meal after fasting for two days will spike your postprandial blood sugar. Eating a low-carb meal after fasting for two days will likely not. Why?

Consider the problem of the long-term low-carber trying to pass a glucose tolerance test. It’s common for long-term low-carbers to “fail” glucose tolerance tests because they’re trying to handle 75 grams of pure glucose with a fat-based metabolism. The body is set up to burn fat and you suddenly introduce a bunch of glucose. It’s hard to do, and most people will fail that—even if they’re healthy.

When you’re coming off a fast, you’re burning fat. You may not have the glucose intolerance of a long-term low-carber, but you are running on fat, and that’s going to raise the chance of exaggerated postprandial blood sugar numbers.

If you do want to eat carbs after a fast, the best way to mitigate this issue is to break the fast with a hard workout and then eat the carbs. You’ll “simulate” glucose tolerance by clearing out glycogen and providing open storage depots for the incoming carbohydrates.

Or you could just be a low-carber to begin with and avoid the problem altogether.

You’re less likely to overdo the re-feeds.

Fasting is a great way to induce caloric deficits and thus lose weight. That’s pretty much why it works so well, as an artificial boundary to control our eating and snacking habits. However, people can tend to go a little wild on the re-feeds. They haven’t eaten all day, so of course they’re going to pig out when they break the fast and eat all sorts of foods they wouldn’t otherwise eat—and eat way more calories than they would have, thereby counteracting all the good they did not eating.

If you’re sticking to low-carb or keto principles, the re-feed is safer. You’re less likely to overeat, because low-carb is so satiating. You’re less likely to eat junk, because the “rules” of the diet eliminate most of the offending foods like chips, sweets, and fried carbohydrates.

Your insulin will normalize.

When insulin is elevated, fat is locked away in our adipose tissue, making it very difficult to burn fat. Hyperinsulinemia, or chronically elevated insulin, also increases the risk of cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, and elevated insulin levels are linked to atherosclerosis.

Intermittent fasting is a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. This recent study found that, despite causing similar reductions in body weight, alternate day fasting led to greater improvements in insulin and insulin resistance than regular caloric restriction.

Low-carb eating is also a potent antidote to hyperinsulinemia. As it turns out, avoiding carbohydrates reduces one’s insulin load.

I’m no enemy of insulin. It serves many valuable purposes, and we wouldn’t be alive without it. But too much insulin at the wrong time causes undeniable problems—and combining IF with low-carb can normalize it.

So, should you avoid fasting if you’re not low-carb?

Not necessarily.

Fasting while low-carb isn’t the only way to do it. Many people have great success combining high-carb dieting with fasting, provided they also lift weights. One popular (and effective) method is to go high-carb, low-fat on training days, with the workout coming at the tail end of the fast and the first meal coming after the workout. Then on rest days, you break the fast with low-carb, high-fat meals. The training stimulus increases insulin sensitivity and gives all those carbs a place to go (your muscle glycogen stores).

But combining low-carb and intermittent fasting really does increase and accentuate the benefits of both practices.

Thanks for reading, everyone. I’d love to hear about your experiences with intermittent fasting and low-carb eating. Do you find that the two go hand in hand, or have you also had success fasting with a higher-carb diet?

References

Klempel MC, Kroeger CM, Varady KA. Alternate day fasting (ADF) with a high-fat diet produces similar weight loss and cardio-protection as ADF with a low-fat diet. Metab Clin Exp. 2013;62(1):137-43.

Kalam F, Gabel K, Cienfuegos S, et al. Alternate day fasting combined with a low-carbohydrate diet for weight loss, weight maintenance, and metabolic disease risk reduction. Obes Sci Pract. 2019;5(6):531-539.

Mujaj B, Bos D, Kavousi M, et al. Serum insulin levels are associated with vulnerable plaque components in the carotid artery: the Rotterdam Study. Eur J Endocrinol. 2020;

Gabel K, Kroeger CM, Trepanowski JF, et al. Differential Effects of Alternate-Day Fasting Versus Daily Calorie Restriction on Insulin Resistance. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2019;27(9):1443-1450.

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