#I do think Matt tends to lean on the gain a benefit from taking a drawback dynamic rather heavily

[utilitycaster]

I was thinking more about how both buffs require a bonus action, and they both have costs. Transformation can have a narrative cost (not always a good idea to do it around people) and Crimson Rite has a health cost. It seems to me like everything outside of prepared dungeon crawls or planned one off battles Transformation won't be as powerful as it should be because Crimson Rite will usually be done first.

So just as a note in my ongoing efforts to try to have a normal one today in the inbox, but also assume as good faith as can be reasonably assumed: I have a history of getting mechanics questions where someone really wanted an answer in which I agreed with them, and then getting some variety of pushy or hostile responses when I didn't. I am not saying you are doing this or going to do this. I am saying I recognize a decent number of the hallmarks of when this is potentially about to happen in this question. So: it's cool if you disagree with me, and you do not need me to agree with you for your opinion to be valid, but I do think the action economy and balance of this class is completely fine and I do not expect that opinion of mine to change.

Anyway, having a cost is something separate from action economy and that's, to be honest, kind of the game, and especially the game of playing a class that uses dealing damage to one's self as a mechanic. I think it's absolutely a challenging class to play, and that it requires a player who is pretty strong on mechanics and won't get hung up on "is this exactly optimal" because there often won't be a singular correct choice. However, transformation will still be just as powerful; it just won't necessarily happen in the first round. Or at all, for that matter! You don't actually need to use crimson rite - or hybrid form - in every battle. I think that's an interesting part of the class, that you can choose to lean heavily on your hybrid form, or you could choose to largely fight with a sword, crimson rite, and blood curses. (Also: technically you could just always have crimson rite up after each rest. It lasts for the whole rest without any limitations on being knocked out or concentration. I think that's silly but like, you could). It's a class with a lot of flexibility and I would not assume that the player wants to activate both of these things every combat anyway. And, again, they're still able to do damage both turns because that's an action; I don't consider "doing slightly less damage" to be a terrible drawback.

On some level, every class that has finite resources or abilities one must activate is going to have a cost. A cleric who casts inflict wounds has one less spell slot with which to heal. A ton of ranger spells are concentration and clash with Hunter's Mark. A lot of AOE spells risk hitting the party. Resource management and balancing the things you can do with your limited actions is just...what D&D is, and having two abilities that each take only a bonus action to engage, can be simultaneously up and are long-lasting with relatively few requirements to maintain (compare to rage or things like Hunter's Mark or Hex) seems like a pretty good deal to me.

[eliteprepsat]

The concept of having a work-life balance refers to maintaining an equilibrium between one’s career and personal responsibilities. In a world focused just as much on our successes and upward mobility as it is on our mental health, achieving such a work-life balance has been the topic of much discussion in recent years. Companies have even gone to great lengths to create funded initiatives to ensure their employees have the best work-life balance possible. More balanced individuals are more productive employees, after all.

Unfortunately, though, when you’re in high school and college no such initiatives exist. Nonetheless, students share the same experience of competing pressures from both school and life. As a student today, one might even argue that a school-life balance is often more difficult to attain due to increasing demands placed on young people to achieve. But, the same holds true here as in the workplace: More balanced students are more productive students.

With this in mind, below are 8 tips for helping you reach a healthier school-life balance. If you practice these tips now, making them second nature, they will follow you into college and beyond into your career.

1. Set boundaries

With the amount of work that high school course schedules demand of us, it can become easy to give our entire lives over to them. While the hope is that such studiousness will eventually lead to great success, working so hard all of the time can actually be harmful.

Therefore, it’s important to establish boundaries when it comes to our school work.

Boundaries help to ensure that we don’t give all of our time to studying, but that we also leave room for other activities that we enjoy. This “down time” refreshes our bodies and minds, actually allowing us to be more productive when we do return to our school work.

To begin working within boundaries, study diligently throughout the week, but (if possible) take at least one day off from school work per week to do the things you especially enjoy. If you’re not in a position to take an entire day off from school work, try to leave at least a portion of one day free for enjoyable activities. During these designated “times off,” allow yourself the luxury of not even thinking about your school work at all.

On days that you do work, be sure to schedule in breaks. Rather than take work breaks at random, utilize the Pomodoro Method, which is a great approach for ensuring productivity without burnout. In this method, a series of timers are set to track periods of work followed by shorter periods of rest. There are many free Pomodoro Method timers online, but this one is especially handy (and cute!).

2. Focus on time management by establishing priorities and setting goals

You likely won’t be able to finish your entire research project today (at least not well!). But, you can plan to finish the last chapter of your chosen novel today, research the author’s life tomorrow, and begin writing your introductory paragraph the next day.

The point here is that when you procrastinate and then set out to complete an entire task in one sitting, that task is often overwhelming. But when you pace yourself by setting manageable tasks that you can complete incrementally, that same project doesn’t feel so insurmountable.

To help with time management, create a to-do list, placing tasks of highest priority at the top of the list and working your way down to tasks of lowest priority. If you’re a visual person, write these individual tasks out on stickie notes that you can crumple up and throw away once each one has been completed. Physicalizing your accomplishments in this way brings a sense of accomplishment that simply crossing items out on a list does not.

3. Then, reward yourself when you reach your goals

Beyond the implicit reward of simply accomplishing tasks, plan explicit rewards to accompany each of your set goals. Whether it’s with a break, a piece of chocolate, or an episode of your favorite show, treat yourself when you achieve a set goal on your to-do list.

Your goals needn’t be extravagant in every case in order to warrant a reward, either. Have you read 20 pages of your book? Put the finishing touches on your science project? Let the reward match the achievement. Whatever the case, it always helps to have something to look forward to!

4. Practice mindfulness by powering-down

The masses have long praised the idea of multitasking. Yet, we live in a time when this approach to productivity is being questioned. In fact, more recent research points to multitasking’s leading to negative effects, including increased stress and decreased cognitive functioning.

What’s recommended instead of multitasking is that you give your full attention to one task at a time. In other words, what’s recommended is that you practice mindfulness while at work.

In this article, Matt Tenney, author of The Mindfulness Edge, explains four ways that mindfulness improves productivity—including eliminating distractions and producing stronger work—by supporting his claims with evidence from an array of university studies.

One way to practice mindfulness while studying is to “unplug” by taking a break from technology. Reducing internet distractions—such as texting, social media, and even Google—can have real gains on your productivity.

5. Say goodbye to baggage

We are often reminded of the importance of extracurricular activities, especially when it comes to college admissions. Since this is the case, we tend to become involved in many extracurriculars, or we become so deeply invested in the few extracurriculars we’ve chosen that it seems they’ve taken precedence over our school work—and have even taken over our lives!

The important thing to remember is that extracurriculars are beneficial. But, they are only beneficial if they are enhancing and not draining your life.

So, do an inventory. If any of your extracurricular activities seem to be more of a drain on your time and energy than an enhancement to your current happiness and potential future success, drop them from your schedule. Place this saved time and energy into the activities you are benefiting from, and you will likely see an improvement in these areas.

6. Upgrade your study hour

Another way to improve your school-life balance is to simply find a way to enjoy the school part of the equation more. This may seem like wishful thinking; but, if you can think of your studies less as work and more as play, then you are sure to approach this time with more balance.

So, what helps you get through hours of reading or studying for exams? Listening to your favorite music? Having your favorite latte by your side? Working with a big group of your best friends? Taking your work outside to the park or to the beach? Whatever the case may be, do yourself a favor by making study hour more enjoyable for yourself. This way, you will be less hardwired to dread your time spent hitting the books.

And if a place like the park or beach isn’t easily accessible to you, check out our previous article on Creating a Great Study Space.

7. Lean on your support system

When in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask for help—from friends, family, and teachers/other mentors. It can be helpful just to have friends and family who simply understand what you’re going through with the heavy workload of school. A shoulder to lean on and an ear to confide in can go a long way toward relieving stress. And a best buddy or an understanding parent can also be key to getting you out of the house (and out of your head!) after a particularly long and grueling study session.

Teachers/mentors, on the other hand, can provide more “practical” solutions for helping to alleviate the worry from school work. Whether by suggesting additional reading, offering personally-tailored study tips, or pointing you in the direction of helpful tutors like those at Elite, these trusted adults can be a great resource in your search for a better school-life balance.

8. Practice self-care by forgetting “perfection”

As modern students with such big workloads, it can become easy to neglect our own self-care. However, whatever this phrase (“self-care”) means to you—be it physical, mental, or emotional preservation—it’s important to maintain the practice even (and especially!) when a school-life balance seems the most difficult to achieve.

Forms of self-care are as numbered and unique as the people on Earth. You know what works best for you. But one thing is universal: To practice better self-care, try letting go of your belief in “perfection.”

In a time when social media has us constantly comparing ourselves to others, and life goals such as college admissions are increasingly competitive, it makes sense to dot every “i” and cross every t”—just maybe not 9 times.

Reaching for what you deem as “perfection” isn’t always beneficial. This is because reaching “perfection” isn’t always possible. Shoot for your best instead, and you are likely to feel more satisfied and balanced in the end.

Stacy G. is a writer and teacher who has taught composition, literature, and creative writing courses at a number of public and private universities across the U.S. She has also taught SAT, AP English, and Literature SAT Subject Test courses at Elite Prep. She likes poetry, dogs, and poetry about dogs.

[mothric]

Hi, friend! This is kind of a weird question, but I know you deal with a lot of mental struggles specifically relating to Christianity, (If that makes sense,) and I have a Thing: I'm almost 21. I'm coming up on 16 years of being best friends with this girl, and in the past few months, ai've started to realize that the friendship is really toxic for me, so I've been trying to disentangle myself from her for the sake of my mental health. (1/2 hopefully)

My problem is, I keep feeling like that isn’t Scriptural. Like, nowhere in Scripture does it encourage you to walk away from toxic/abusive situations. You’re encouraged to love, to give without worrying about what you get in return, (Which sounds an awful lot like supporting them even when you know you can’t lean on them,) and to “value others as greater than yourself.” If your neighbor asks for your cloak, give them your coat, (visa versa?) Etc. (2/3)

So I feel guilty and selfish about trying to get out of the situation, like I’m not really showing God’s love. But it was affecting my mental health to the point where it was affecting my physical health. And she has depression, anxiety, etc. Which just makes me feel WORSE, because I don’t want to abandon her, but it also feels like she’s extremely manipulative. We haven’t spoken in over a week, but her birthday is coming up tomorrow. Part of me wants to message her happy birthday, (¾)

While the other part of me thinks that’ll just be opening the door for the cycle to start all over again. And part of me feels like I should LET it, because as a Christian, it’s my responsibility to show God’s love without putting myself first. It’s just got me very worried, so I wanted to message you. Sorry this is so long! (4/4) 

Hi there friend,

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a very long answer, as there is a lot to unpack. But I’ve been in similar situations so this hits close to home, and I really want to share what God has been teaching me in this area.

the tl;dr is, no, you are not in the wrong for walking away from an abusive relationship, even as a Christian. and there is Scripture to support it.

Firstly, I’m really sorry to hear your friend doesn’t treat you lovingly and that your relationship has deteriorated to this point. It is always a sad thing to lose someone we love, especially when that loss comes from the realization that they aren’t good for you or good to you. It is really difficult to see toxic behaviours for what they are when we love someone, because we want to believe the best of them. I’m proud of you for recognizing these things and acknowledging that you yourself have a limit.

You say that there is no Scripture that encourages walking away from, or breaking off, abusive situations. Allow me to provide some evidence to the contrary:

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” (Prov. 22:24-25) 

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (Matt. 18:15-17)

“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” (Titus 3:10-11)

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Rom. 12:18)

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Prov. 15:4)

This is just scratching the surface, my friend. There are plenty more passages that address unhealthy relationships, condemn unloving behaviour, acknowledge the pain of being on the receiving end of harmful words and actions, and speak to the reciprocity of real love. The Bible may never outright say the words “emotional abuse” or “toxic relationship”, but you can see even from these few passages that there is meant to be a standard for the way Christians treat each other, and there is a limit on tolerating divisive, abusive behaviour. Especially from people who say they love Christ.

Let me ask you this: Did God command David, in the Old Testament, to just sit and accept the abuse he received from King Saul? Did God condemn David for fleeing for his life? Did God condemn Jonathan for standing up to his abusive father or for helping his best friend escape him? 

Let me also ask you this: Will an abusive person recognize their harmful behaviour if such behaviour is silently tolerated? Is it actually loving, on your end, to enable an abusive person to continue in the same cycles, again and again, never addressing it? Frankly put: is it loving to let someone continue in sin, especially when they are harming somebody else?

The love of Christ should shape the way we treat other people, and that includes the way your friend treats you. But what will she learn if a line is never drawn, if she is never told “this is unacceptable and I cannot tolerate it”? If your friend thinks it is okay to treat you this way, how many others will she treat this way? And how can you, with a spirit consistently crushed and poisoned by abuse and manipulation, drained of your resources, keep giving to others out of what you don’t have, when you are giving yourself no opportunity to rest?

Yes, the Scriptures demand that we forgive everyone who wrongs us. But please do not confuse forgiveness for enabling, or being a doormat. Your relationship, as it stands, is one-sided and unsustainable. Paul says to live peaceably with others as far as it depends on you, and your friend has not allowed there to be peace in your relationship. The last thing she needs is continued affirmation that treating you the way she does is okay. What she needs is somebody who is willing to tell her she needs help, professional help, more help than you can give her. What she needs is the truth. 

I’m not saying you should go in with a laundry list of every way she’s ever wronged you – that can stir up resentment and push her even farther away from seeking real help. It rarely helps to tell a toxic person they are toxic, they need to come to that realization themselves, in increments, with good counseling or therapy. But perhaps this realization, for your friend, must begin with you, lovingly and firmly drawing a line and saying, “no more of this.” 

It is very normal to feel guilty and selfish in a situation like this. This is especially true if your friend has made you feel like you’re responsible for her in some way. The truth is, you are not her doctor, therapist, or caretaker. And you are not God! You are not responsible for her health, her emotions, or her recovery. She is responsible for the body and mind God gave her, and you are responsible for yours. The Bible says to uphold one another in love. And sometimes, friend… love means saying no to someone else, for both their benefit and yours.

If you’re still feeling doubtful, this article puts it much more succinctly. Also, the book “Boundaries,” by Dr. Henry Cloud, helped me so much in this area. I highly, highly recommend it.He’s a licensed psychologist and a Christian, and he also addresses these “Christian” (but unbiblical) ideas that we tend to have about what unselfish love looks like. Setting boundaries is actually one of the most loving things you can do for others.

I’m sorry again that this was so long, but like I said, this really hit home for me. One of my parents is emotionally manipulative, and I have known more than a handful of people who were abusive to me. I have had to unlearn a lot of old ideas about what it means to love people like this, to take care of myself, and to properly steward my mind, my health, and my relationships.

I don’t know your face, friend, but I feel the love of God in my heart for you and I will be praying for you tonight. Know that you are truly loved by One who sees your pain and desires healing and wholeness for both you and your friend, and you are not in the wrong for separating from her. He will take care of her too.

Go in peace, beloved. 💜

[hillnerd]

Taking a Shallow Breath Ch 7

|Harry Potter | Fanfiction | PG-13 | in-progress | Ch: 3706 words

Ships: Rose/Scorpius, canon and others | FF.net

Romance friendship comedy family & drama | starts super silly- will get more serious as we go. 

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 

A person's front door can say a great deal about them.

Some people enjoy choosing grande hand-carved doors that have history, and speak of times of old. Scorpius tended to like people who chose such doors. It meant they appreciated artistry, quality, and could embrace the unique. They also had a flair for drama. Rose loved those kinds of doors.

Some people prefer the clean lines of an Edwardian door. These usually put more effort into the knobs, hinges, and door-knockers than the wood itself. They speak of someone who enjoys details, while being beyond the fuss of the overly grande, and relatively down to earth. Scorpius had such a door.

There were also doors filled with character but no artistry. Albus had such a door. It was beaten up from years of use, a faded orange color, and the number six hung down so that it looked like a nine. He had a shoddy matt out front with stripes, and though it was anything but put together, it had a certain charm about it.

And finally there was the red hunk of metal Brad had the audacity to call a door.

It bore no decoration- there wasn't even a welcome matt: just a cold steel handle, highly glossy red metal and a black peep hole. It spoke of someone slick like the varnish, cool like the metal, and flashy like that atrocious tomato red.

Scorpius hated that door.

What he hated even more was that he had been staring at it for one hour, nineteen minutes, and ten seconds.

"Rose! Open this door! This is getting ridiculous!" yelled Brad.

One hour, nineteen minutes, and fifteen seconds with the poncy owner himself.

"Calling her actions ridiculous will hardly entice her to leave," Scorpius drawled from the floor.

Brad tried another spell. The door glowed blue then turned garish red again.

"You've also tried that spell already," said Scorpius, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "Rose's Charms are the best. Get a magical locksmith: I doubt drawing up contracts for overpaid Quidditch stars has improved your charms enough to worm your way in."

Scorpius was satisfied to see Brad's shoulders tense. Until Brad, Scorpius had never met someone he could not get a rise out of when he wanted to. He had never seen the man lose his cool, which made Al's theory that 'Bert' was not human slightly more plausible.

"It's a Sunday. Magical Locksmiths are like banks and private practice Healers- closing at the merest hint of a Holiday or weekend." Brad leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "Rose's Uncle is a cursebreaker... Perhaps I could get him to open the door."

"If you want the whole Weasley family to know your personal business with Rose, by all means do," said Scorpius. "I'm sure her father would be keen to know why his only daughter has barricaded herself."

Brad blanched.

"You know, this is probably the most I've ever heard you talk, Scorpius."

Scorpius stoically did not mention he despised Brad and generally made excuses to escape his company.

"I suppose I just don't see enough of you and Al, though I think Al orchestrates that. He seems to rather despise me. If it weren't for the fact that he and Rose were cousins ,I'd think he were jealous."

"He is very protective of Rose," Scorpius said with a schooled shrug.

"As are you."

Scorpius remained silent. He didn't like where Brad was probing with this conversation.

"You know, there is a closeness between you and Rose I quite envy at times..."

"Perhaps, if you weren't so busy negotiating with Melrose Fenwick, you could spend time with Rose," said Scorpius.

"We spend plenty of time together," Brad said with a raunchy smile that made Scorpius roll his eyes. "But I still envy your friendship. Sometimes I even worry she tells you things she would never tell me."

"I wouldn't know. I'm not privy to your private conversations, after all." Scorpius could not recall being more uncomfortable. He hoped this would bring an end to this intimate look into Brandon Bradley's perspective. He came from a family where you were taught to never reveal your weaknesses, or worries, for fear they would be exploited later. Being a Slytherin only further enforced this. Scorpius had very few people he trusted with his insecurities, secrets and dreams. Brad would never be one of them, and he had no idea why Brad felt the need to share such details with him.

"She's incredibly special, you know? I even wonder how I was lucky enough to catch her."

Scorpius had pondered that subject many a time.

"I don't pretend to understand your relationship, but your friendship means a great deal to her, so whatever it is you're holding against me, I hope we can move past it. I know she'd appreciate it if we got along," said Brad.

Scorpius resisted a gaffaw.

Either Brad was very shrewd, or he was a much more gracious person than Scorpius had thought him. He hoped it was the former, that way his continued hatred would feel even more just. Was he trying to weasel something of a confession out of Scorpius?

Or maybe he was hoping to use Scorpius as a way to quickly earn Rose's forgiveness.

Scorpius had never cared much for Brad. The man was much too keen to have everyone's approval, an attribute Scorpius disdained. What tolerance he had for Brad dipped when he took up with Rose three years prior- but following the proposal, Scorpius found it hard to recall one pleasant thing about him. If someone like Rose could manage to stand the bastard, he had to have at least one redeeming feature, and after thinking, Scorpius discovered it. He had clean fingernails. There! That was surely enough for karma's sake.

Looking at the shiny door, Scorpius could make out their reflections as they sat together. At first glance one might think the rivals friends.

What if they were friends? Wouldn't Rose appreciate it? Wouldn't Scorpius have more opportunities to sabotage Brad and leave him in a crying mess on the floor for others to mock?

Scorpius felt a bit ill. It was uncomfortable to come to terms with how deeply rooted and savage his feelings towards Brad had become.

The most ruthless part of him wanted to sabotage Brad in every way. He did not want to stop at just stealing Rose, but hurt Brad's reputation, and leave him gutted. He wanted revenge against the ponce for ever having taken Rose's time and attention.

He shook his head to rid himself of this dangerous territory of thought. He never considered himself spiteful- though he had been known as a bit harsh at times, he was nothing if not fair. He was not terribly fluent in underhanded dealings, only ever dabbling in them when necessary, for he had always regarded himself as above that. He was a pillar of virtue, compared to many of the Slytherins he knew.

Of course, being friendly with Brad could have other benefits, like research on how to get Rose to see all the faults in him Scorpius and Al did. He would finally end the hold Brad had on Rose's affections, and if Brad would suffer, so be it.

"Yes, she would appreciate us getting along," Scorpius finally conceded.

"I'm willing to try."

"And I'm willing... to look past your atrocious taste in architectural features."

Brad laughed.

"Yeah, it's not quite as classic as your tastes-"

"That's one way to put it," said Scorpius with a raised brow at the door.

"I suppose that's why you're the architect."

"I don't have any business cards with me, but feel free to floo my secretary. It needs an overhaul, if not for taste's sake, then for your neighbors'. I would have lodged a complaint years ago."

"You know, it's been over an hour," Brad said, deftly changing the subject. "Part of me is wondering if she's in there or not."

Scorpius turned his head to the side. A spark of thought burgeoned within him. Rose was not there at all... and he had a reasonably good idea of where to find her. The more he thought on it, the more he felt the need to leave immediately.

"Well, it seems there is nothing I can do to rectify this situation. I suppose I'm going to go home," he said, hoping Brad took no notice of his sudden inspiration. Brad didn't seem concerned, so Scorpius took his leave, doing his best to look unhurried. The moment the doors closed on the the elevator he apparated.

He was immediately in the familiar alleyway near Marylebone High Street. Of all the wizard inventions, how they had not managed to get better apparating points, he was unsure. The alley had the same long abandoned posters featuring bands he had never heard of, and long-forgotten flyers of past classes liberally lining its its brick walls. At one point people must have passed by this area quite often, but the foreclosed building at the end of the alley looked like it hadn't seen people in a decade. It was a shame, really, as it was built rather handsomely, and with a few spells and layers of paint, it would be a grande place for a business of some sort.

He walked fast as he could without gaining unwarranted attention, until coming to the dark blue doors of the museum.

"Malfoooy!" he heard a voice trill from inside. Vanessa, a plump genial woman called him from the desk. The bubbly woman had worked there ever since its opening, she told him some years ago. She seemed an odd fit for the quiet rooms of the small museum, especially as her trilling laugh would echo off the walls disturbing the guests. He fished in his pockets to pay her for admission. "Don't you try to pay us. You and Rose are in here often enough, it wouldn't be right to ask you to pay each time."

"Fine, but I swear I'll manage to pay you eventually," Scorpius said, re-pocketing a muggle bill. "Is Rose in her usual spot?"

"Oh yes! Same as usual," Vanessa said with a laugh. Scorpius gave her a nod of thanks, before making his way into the gallery. A few turns and flights of stairs, and he was able to see Rose's bright hair. She sat alone on her bench, firmly staring at the painting front of her. Her hand tried to sneakily remove a piece of chocolate from her purse. The purse crinkled in a way that made him suspect this was not her first piece of the day.

"I believe it's against the rules to bring in outside food or drink," said Scorpius, pointing to the sign above her head that said 'no outside food or drink.'

"It doesn't say anything about chocolate," she said pushing another chocolate into her mouth, and licking her fingers. She moved the purse, almost overflowing with wrappers, to the side. Whether she moved it to make room for him to sit, or to conceal how many chocolates she had eaten, he was not sure.

He silently sat on the proffered spot, though not without spelling away a pair of chocolate finger prints from the seat.

Rose continued to chew, a look of consternation wrinkling her brow. She had a bit of chocolate in the corner of her mouth.

"Here." He handed her a handkerchief. She wretched it from his hand and wrathfully swiped at her face.

"Are you all done depriving the greater Western Hemisphere of cocoa, or should I wait until we can roll you out the door?"

Rose scowled at him.

"You're not going to hex me into the wall like your fiance, are you?" he asked.

"I would never do that in a museum!" Rose replied, scandalized. "But once we're out of here, there are definitely no guarantees."

"Good to know. You should never warn your enemies, though," he replied, patting his wand.

"That's such a Slytherin thing to say!"

"And that's such a a Gryffindor response!" he mocked.

They sat in companionable silence, staring at Rose's favorite painting "La Belle Dame Sans Merci." Scorpius suspected she loved it because of the featured temptress who had hair every bit as red and wild as Rose's. Everything about it was like a person were in a mythical dream. The redheaded woman who held an otherworldly grace of temptation, the grande steed, the bright glow of the knight's armor; all of it created a picture one could get lost in. Rose attempted to get lost in it weekly, and sometimes more.

"O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms, alone and palely loitering?" Rose recited.

"Besides having to put up with your wild temper, and a bad case of asthma, I'm doing fairly well," Scorpius laughed.

"It's from the poem the painting is based on, dimwit," said Rose.

"I knew that and was being ironic, swot."

"Who wrote the poem it's based on, prat?" she challenged.

"Keats, gasbag. I do occasionally listen when you go into your long speeches about paintings."

"You're on my good side again, then. Plus, I didn't feel like being a human thesaurus any longer. Want to get going?"

Scorpius acquiesced and they left the museum, Rose leading the way. With them, a good teasing argument usually settled any disagreement. The cool air gave Rose a lovely flush under her spattering of freckles. They walked in silence before Scorpius suddenly asked the question:

"Was there a particular reason you were so miffed at me, earlier? With Al and Brad it was fairly obvious, but me..."

Rose stopped at a window display and feigned interest in the vases there.

"So, was there a reason, or were you just exercising your right as a redhead to have a perilously short temper?"

"I was just a bit mad at you for escalating the argument with Brad, really," she said coolly. "All your annoying asides didn't help an already difficult situation."

"Ah, and here I thought you were jealous of my orgy with Lily and Mags," said Scorpius, demeanor calm.

Rose made a face and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"You wouldn't do that," she stated firmly. Scorpius silently watched her reflection, eyebrow arched.

"Or at least Mags and Lily wouldn't do that. I'm still... unsure about your moral ambiguity."

"Hmm," he replied, seeing her flustered expression. "I must admit I can be very morally ambiguous. I suppose I'll just have to depend on you to rehabilitate me."

Scorpius then did something reckless. He was standing intimately close to her and took a curl from her forehead and pushed it to the side, his fingers grazing her pale brow. She seemed to hold her breath, but he could still smell the chocolate in it. Her blue eyes deepened, her delicate and inviting lips opened as her eyelids started to flutter shut. But suddenly Rose backed away with a great jerk and the spell was broken.

"Very funny, you dirty minded thing," she exclaimed, with an overdone laugh. "So! What were they doing in your apartment? Besides the 'orgy'— you can leave those details for someone who cares."

"They decided my wardrobe needed an update."

"I like your old clothes better."

"Lily sort of insisted—"

"Since when do you listen to anyone's advice on anything?"

Scorpius rolled his eyes. Rose always had an answer for everything, one of her traits that both annoyed and endeared her to him. In this case, though, she was chattering to keep him at bay.

"Well, perhaps this little experiment in fashion proves I am right in not listening to people's advice," he said. "But I do not want to argue about it anymore, Rose."

"Scorpius! Rose!" they heard from down the street.

They turned to see Lily bounding towards them. Scorpius supposed Al had told her about Rose's little street.

He was going to give a greeting when Lily pressed herself against him and kissed him. Had she been someone else, he imagined he would have greatly enjoyed such a kiss. It was far too long for propriety, and left him rather dazed as one of her hands snaked its way into his hair. After a few moments of her exploring his molars with her tongue she popped off of his face and gave him a sultry grin.

"Hullo, lover."

"Hi," he said with a great breath, trying not to pull a face.

"Hi..." Rose said in such a cantankerous way that Scorpius suddenly realized what had just transpired. Her expression looked somewhere between confusion, distaste and anger.

"So... What are you doing here?" Scorpius let out, his mind catching up to the situation as rapidly as it could. He would have to ask her to refrain from such kisses in the future as it muddled his brain.

"Brad Flooed me and told me what happened. We started looking in all the spots she might be, and I knew Rose comes here often enough. I'm not surprised you were the one to find her first. I definitely am going to give you another examination tonight."

Scorpius glanced between the two women, Lily giving him a rather convincing besotted look, and Rose giving an incredulous stare.

"Well," Scorpius swallowed, and calmed steadied himself before letting out the most stupid lie of his life.

"As you can see... Lily and I... We're involved."

"Involved," Rose repeated flatly.

"Wait a moment," Lily said before giving him a swat. "You haven't told her yet?"

"No," he said coming back to speed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Rose. It just sort of ... happened."

"A few months ago, actually," Lily added. Albus was right. Lily was an incredibly adept liar, and continued to play her role perfectly. "With all the wedding plans he didn't want to distract from you and Brad, but I thought he must have told you by now."

Rose shook her head.

"No... No he didn't tell me a thing."

"We ok?" Scorpius asked, trying to look her in the eye.

She hesitated, then gave them a smile, never looking him in the eye.

"It's fine," she said. "Really, it is. There isn't always a time to say those kinds of things the way you want to. I guess that explains your taking her fashion advice."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Lily said breezily. "On another note, Brad is worried– and we need to do some tests on Scorpius to see what he's allergic to. Why don't you go back to your apartment and then we can figure out your flower arrangement?"

"Why don't we meet at your place, then Floo him, Lily?" Rose supplied. "We could apparate there right now, in fact. You've been to her place before, right Scorpius?"

Scorpius dumbly nodded. He had never been to Lily's home. He didn't even know if it was in London. Lily gave him a panicked look.

"Are you sure you want to come directly with us? Don't you want some alone time with Brad?" Lily asked.

"It's ok," Rose said, looking between Scorpius and Lily. "You two don't want alone time do you?"

Scorpius and Lily exchanged awkward glances.

"No no! There will plenty of time for us to be alone again when you're on your honeymoon," Lily supplied quickly. "But, uh, why don't you go ahead, and we'll meet you there. I have something private to tell him."

Rose made one of her faces. "Right... Well, see you there in a minute, then."

As she walked away, Lily gave her a little wave. Her other hand snaked into Scorpius' back pocket and gave it a squeeze that made him jump from her.

They could distantly hear Rose's apparation.

"Oh, God! She's going to my apartment! Why did you say you had been to my apartment?"

"I couldn't very well say I hadn't been to my girlfriend's place, could I?"

"Yes! Yes you could have! You won't know where any of my shit is, which will be a dead giveaway! Rose isn't stupid, remember?" Lily spat, clearly aggravated. "Are you sure you're a Slytherin? Because you are pathetic at this whole 'plotting' thing."

"I'm sorry, it's a bit hard to concentrate when your tongue is exploring my esophagus and your hand keeps grabbing my bum. Overkill much?".

"Ok, so I was a bit demonstrative. I'll try to hold back from making her jealous," Lily growled. "God, this is awkward as fuck."

"I agree with your sentiment," Scorpius said, giving her a look of distaste.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I could never date anyone so stuck up."

"Next time warn me before you touch me with that filthy mouth of yours," he said, leading the way to the Apparition point.

"Don't make me get those bouquets from the wedding, Asthma Boy!"

"Perhaps we can stick more to witty banter instead of wagging tongues, if you think you can manage."

"Fine. No more unexpected wagging-tongues. She'll get so jealous that you're arguing with me, instead of her, she'll dump Brad immediately," she said dryly.

"Well, at least warn me a bit. It befuddles the mind," he said. "And I need it to stay sharp for all the 'plotting' I'm so pathetic at."

"Let's just Apparate," she said holding his arm a bit too firmly.

Scorpius felt a squeeze around his chest. He hoped it was just due to the side-along apparition, and not nerves at having begun a farce that meant continually lying to his best and oldest friend.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[eliteprepsat]

The concept of having a work-life balance refers to maintaining an equilibrium between one’s career and personal responsibilities. In a world focused just as much on our successes and upward mobility as it is on our mental health, achieving such a work-life balance has been the topic of much discussion in recent years. Companies have even gone to great lengths to create funded initiatives to ensure their employees have the best work-life balance possible. More balanced individuals are more productive employees, after all.

Unfortunately, though, when you’re in high school and college no such initiatives exist. Nonetheless, students share the same experience of competing pressures from both school and life. As a student today, one might even argue that a school-life balance is often more difficult to attain due to increasing demands placed on young people to achieve. But, the same holds true here as in the workplace: More balanced students are more productive students.

With this in mind, below are 8 tips for helping you reach a healthier school-life balance. If you practice these tips now, making them second nature, they will follow you into college and beyond into your career.

1. SET BOUNDARIES

With the amount of work that high school course schedules demand of us, it can become easy to give our entire lives over to them. While the hope is that such studiousness will eventually lead to great success, working so hard all of the time can actually be harmful.

Therefore, it’s important to establish boundaries when it comes to our school work.

Boundaries help to ensure that we don’t give all of our time to studying, but that we also leave room for other activities that we enjoy. This “down time” refreshes our bodies and minds, actually allowing us to be more productive when we do return to our school work.

To begin working within boundaries, study diligently throughout the week, but (if possible) take at least one day off from school work per week to do the things you especially enjoy. If you’re not in a position to take an entire day off from school work, try to leave at least a portion of one day free for enjoyable activities. During these designated “times off,” allow yourself the luxury of not even thinking about your school work at all.

On days that you do work, be sure to schedule in breaks. Rather than take work breaks at random, utilize the Pomodoro Method, which is a great approach for ensuring productivity without burnout. In this method, a series of timers are set to track periods of work followed by shorter periods of rest. There are many free Pomodoro Method timers online, but this one is especially handy (and cute!).

2. FOCUS ON TIME MANAGEMENT BY ESTABLISHING PRIORITIES AND SETTING GOALS

You likely won’t be able to finish your entire research project today (at least not well!). But, you can plan to finish the last chapter of your chosen novel today, research the author’s life tomorrow, and begin writing your introductory paragraph the next day.

The point here is that when you procrastinate and then set out to complete an entire task in one sitting, that task is often overwhelming. But when you pace yourself by setting manageable tasks that you can complete incrementally, that same project doesn’t feel so insurmountable.

To help with time management, create a to-do list, placing tasks of highest priority at the top of the list and working your way down to tasks of lowest priority. If you’re a visual person, write these individual tasks out on stickie notes that you can crumple up and throw away once each one has been completed. Physicalizing your accomplishments in this way brings a sense of accomplishment that simply crossing items out on a list does not.

3. THEN, REWARD YOURSELF WHEN YOU REACH YOUR GOALS

Beyond the implicit reward of simply accomplishing tasks, plan explicit rewards to accompany each of your set goals. Whether it’s with a break, a piece of chocolate, or an episode of your favorite show, treat yourself when you achieve a set goal on your to-do list.

Your goals needn’t be extravagant in every case in order to warrant a reward, either. Have you read 20 pages of your book? Put the finishing touches on your science project? Let the reward match the achievement. Whatever the case, it always helps to have something to look forward to!

4. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS BY POWERING-DOWN

The masses have long praised the idea of multitasking. Yet, we live in a time when this approach to productivity is being questioned. In fact, more recent research points to multitasking’s leading to negative effects, including increased stress and decreased cognitive functioning.

What’s recommended instead of multitasking is that you give your full attention to one task at a time. In other words, what’s recommended is that you practice mindfulness while at work.

In this article, Matt Tenney, author of The Mindfulness Edge, explains four ways that mindfulness improves productivity—including eliminating distractions and producing stronger work—by supporting his claims with evidence from an array of university studies.

One way to practice mindfulness while studying is to “unplug” by taking a break from technology. Reducing internet distractions—such as texting, social media, and even Google—can have real gains on your productivity.

5. SAY GOODBYE TO BAGGAGE

We are often reminded of the importance of extracurricular activities, especially when it comes to college admissions. Since this is the case, we tend to become involved in many extracurriculars, or we become so deeply invested in the few extracurriculars we’ve chosen that it seems they’ve taken precedence over our school work—and have even taken over our lives!

The important thing to remember is that extracurriculars are beneficial. But, they are only beneficial if they are enhancing and not draining your life.

So, do an inventory. If any of your extracurricular activities seem to be more of a drain on your time and energy than an enhancement to your current happiness and potential future success, drop them from your schedule. Place this saved time and energy into the activities you are benefiting from, and you will likely see an improvement in these areas.

6. UPGRADE YOUR STUDY HOUR

Another way to improve your school-life balance is to simply find a way to enjoy the school part of the equation more. This may seem like wishful thinking; but, if you can think of your studies less as work and more as play, then you are sure to approach this time with more balance.

So, what helps you get through hours of reading or studying for exams? Listening to your favorite music? Having your favorite latte by your side? Working with a big group of your best friends? Taking your work outside to the park or to the beach? Whatever the case may be, do yourself a favor by making study hour more enjoyable for yourself. This way, you will be less hardwired to dread your time spent hitting the books.

And if a place like the park or beach isn’t easily accessible to you, check out our previous article on Creating a Great Study Space.

7. LEAN ON YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM

When in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask for help—from friends, family, and teachers/other mentors. It can be helpful just to have friends and family who simply understand what you’re going through with the heavy workload of school. A shoulder to lean on and an ear to confide in can go a long way toward relieving stress. And a best buddy or an understanding parent can also be key to getting you out of the house (and out of your head!) after a particularly long and grueling study session.

Teachers/mentors, on the other hand, can provide more “practical” solutions for helping to alleviate the worry from school work. Whether by suggesting additional reading, offering personally-tailored study tips, or pointing you in the direction of helpful tutors like those at Elite, these trusted adults can be a great resource in your search for a better school-life balance.

8. PRACTICE SELF-CARE BY FORGETTING “PERFECTION”

As modern students with such big workloads, it can become easy to neglect our own self-care. However, whatever this phrase (“self-care”) means to you—be it physical, mental, or emotional preservation—it’s important to maintain the practice even (and especially!) when a school-life balance seems the most difficult to achieve.

Forms of self-care are as numbered and unique as the people on Earth. You know what works best for you. But one thing is universal: To practice better self-care, try letting go of your belief in “perfection.”

In a time when social media has us constantly comparing ourselves to others, and life goals such as college admissions are increasingly competitive, it makes sense to dot every “i” and cross every t”—just maybe not 9 times.

Reaching for what you deem as “perfection” isn’t always beneficial. This is because reaching “perfection” isn’t always possible. Shoot for your best instead, and you are likely to feel more satisfied and balanced in the end.

Stacy G. is a writer and teacher who has taught composition, literature, and creative writing courses at a number of public and private universities across the U.S. She has also taught SAT, AP English, and Literature SAT Subject Test courses at Elite Prep. She likes poetry, dogs, and poetry about dogs.

[eliteprepsat]

The concept of having a work-life balance refers to maintaining an equilibrium between one’s career and personal responsibilities. In a world focused just as much on our successes and upward mobility as it is on our mental health, achieving such a work-life balance has been the topic of much discussion in recent years. Companies have even gone to great lengths to create funded initiatives to ensure their employees have the best work-life balance possible. More balanced individuals are more productive employees, after all.

Unfortunately, though, when you’re in high school and college no such initiatives exist. Nonetheless, students share the same experience of competing pressures from both school and life. As a student today, one might even argue that a school-life balance is often more difficult to attain due to increasing demands placed on young people to achieve. But, the same holds true here as in the workplace: More balanced students are more productive students.

With this in mind, below are 8 tips for helping you reach a healthier school-life balance. If you practice these tips now, making them second nature, they will follow you into college and beyond into your career.

1. Set boundaries

With the amount of work that high school course schedules demand of us, it can become easy to give our entire lives over to them. While the hope is that such studiousness will eventually lead to great success, working so hard all of the time can actually be harmful.

Therefore, it’s important to establish boundaries when it comes to our school work.

Boundaries help to ensure that we don’t give all of our time to studying, but that we also leave room for other activities that we enjoy. This “down time” refreshes our bodies and minds, actually allowing us to be more productive when we do return to our school work.

To begin working within boundaries, study diligently throughout the week, but (if possible) take at least one day off from school work per week to do the things you especially enjoy. If you’re not in a position to take an entire day off from school work, try to leave at least a portion of one day free for enjoyable activities. During these designated “times off,” allow yourself the luxury of not even thinking about your school work at all.

On days that you do work, be sure to schedule in breaks. Rather than take work breaks at random, utilize the Pomodoro Method, which is a great approach for ensuring productivity without burnout. In this method, a series of timers are set to track periods of work followed by shorter periods of rest. There are many free Pomodoro Method timers online, but this one is especially handy (and cute!).

2. Focus on time management by establishing priorities and setting goals

You likely won’t be able to finish your entire research project today (at least not well!). But, you can plan to finish the last chapter of your chosen novel today, research the author’s life tomorrow, and begin writing your introductory paragraph the next day.

The point here is that when you procrastinate and then set out to complete an entire task in one sitting, that task is often overwhelming. But when you pace yourself by setting manageable tasks that you can complete incrementally, that same project doesn’t feel so insurmountable.

To help with time management, create a to-do list, placing tasks of highest priority at the top of the list and working your way down to tasks of lowest priority. If you’re a visual person, write these individual tasks out on stickie notes that you can crumple up and throw away once each one has been completed. Physicalizing your accomplishments in this way brings a sense of accomplishment that simply crossing items out on a list does not.

3. Then, reward yourself when you reach your goals

Beyond the implicit reward of simply accomplishing tasks, plan explicit rewards to accompany each of your set goals. Whether it’s with a break, a piece of chocolate, or an episode of your favorite show, treat yourself when you achieve a set goal on your to-do list.

Your goals needn’t be extravagant in every case in order to warrant a reward, either. Have you read 20 pages of your book? Put the finishing touches on your science project? Let the reward match the achievement. Whatever the case, it always helps to have something to look forward to!

4. Practice mindfulness by powering-down

The masses have long praised the idea of multitasking. Yet, we live in a time when this approach to productivity is being questioned. In fact, more recent research points to multitasking’s leading to negative effects, including increased stress and decreased cognitive functioning.

What’s recommended instead of multitasking is that you give your full attention to one task at a time. In other words, what’s recommended is that you practice mindfulness while at work.

In this article, Matt Tenney, author of The Mindfulness Edge, explains four ways that mindfulness improves productivity—including eliminating distractions and producing stronger work—by supporting his claims with evidence from an array of university studies.

One way to practice mindfulness while studying is to “unplug” by taking a break from technology. Reducing internet distractions—such as texting, social media, and even Google—can have real gains on your productivity.

5. Say goodbye to baggage

We are often reminded of the importance of extracurricular activities, especially when it comes to college admissions. Since this is the case, we tend to become involved in many extracurriculars, or we become so deeply invested in the few extracurriculars we’ve chosen that it seems they’ve taken precedence over our school work—and have even taken over our lives!

The important thing to remember is that extracurriculars are beneficial. But, they are only beneficial if they are enhancing and not draining your life.

So, do an inventory. If any of your extracurricular activities seem to be more of a drain on your time and energy than an enhancement to your current happiness and potential future success, drop them from your schedule. Place this saved time and energy into the activities you are benefiting from, and you will likely see an improvement in these areas.

6. Upgrade your study hour

Another way to improve your school-life balance is to simply find a way to enjoy the school part of the equation more. This may seem like wishful thinking; but, if you can think of your studies less as work and more as play, then you are sure to approach this time with more balance.

So, what helps you get through hours of reading or studying for exams? Listening to your favorite music? Having your favorite latte by your side? Working with a big group of your best friends? Taking your work outside to the park or to the beach? Whatever the case may be, do yourself a favor by making study hour more enjoyable for yourself. This way, you will be less hardwired to dread your time spent hitting the books.

And if a place like the park or beach isn’t easily accessible to you, check out our previous article on Creating a Great Study Space.

7. Lean on your support system

When in doubt, don’t be afraid to ask for help—from friends, family, and teachers/other mentors. It can be helpful just to have friends and family who simply understand what you’re going through with the heavy workload of school. A shoulder to lean on and an ear to confide in can go a long way toward relieving stress. And a best buddy or an understanding parent can also be key to getting you out of the house (and out of your head!) after a particularly long and grueling study session.

Teachers/mentors, on the other hand, can provide more “practical” solutions for helping to alleviate the worry from school work. Whether by suggesting additional reading, offering personally-tailored study tips, or pointing you in the direction of helpful tutors like those at Elite, these trusted adults can be a great resource in your search for a better school-life balance.

8. Practice self-care by forgetting “perfection”

As modern students with such big workloads, it can become easy to neglect our own self-care. However, whatever this phrase (“self-care”) means to you—be it physical, mental, or emotional preservation—it’s important to maintain the practice even (and especially!) when a school-life balance seems the most difficult to achieve.

Forms of self-care are as numbered and unique as the people on Earth. You know what works best for you. But one thing is universal: To practice better self-care, try letting go of your belief in “perfection.”

In a time when social media has us constantly comparing ourselves to others, and life goals such as college admissions are increasingly competitive, it makes sense to dot every “i” and cross every t”—just maybe not 9 times.

Reaching for what you deem as “perfection” isn’t always beneficial. This is because reaching “perfection” isn’t always possible. Shoot for your best instead, and you are likely to feel more satisfied and balanced in the end.

Stacy G. is a writer and teacher who has taught composition, literature, and creative writing courses at a number of public and private universities across the U.S. She has also taught SAT, AP English, and Literature SAT Subject Test courses at Elite Prep. She likes poetry, dogs, and poetry about dogs.