#I don’t think anyone will really know who I am unless they check my bio and still I was like just a really small blog when I posted so- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkscowardschampions · 9 months

Text

Tancy

Teddy: [Coming at you in response to your party post, don’t mind me]

Teddy: Is it private or can anyone join?? 🤔

Nancy: Private parties are only fun when the exclusionary nature is purposeful, cutting and I’m the one making the call

Nancy: I don’t think you’ve given me any reason to axe you from the guest list this time… have you?

Teddy: As your sister’s unlikely to be on it, no

Nancy: How delightful, you’ve had a lover’s tiff

Nancy: You got it in one, obviously my darling sister wouldn’t step foot in here unless to chastise me for something

Teddy: The domestics MUST be catching similar to the boredom

Nancy: Half my friends are finally finished with their boring essays and exams, the rest are frantically rushing to meet an extended deadline they BEGGED for, numbers and fun are way down still

Nancy: Who’s domestic, do tell

Teddy: Oh how relatable & dull

Teddy: I was on holiday with the family but J’s wife’s hormones sent us all packing

Nancy: Tragic, isn’t it

Nancy: Nothing a party can’t solve

Nancy: Ah, Chlo, I saw her mother just the other day in [some boujee shop like even better than Waitrose lol], did let slip how massive she’s gotten, after some prompting

Teddy: It’s despicable, no wonder he’s cheating, again

Teddy: still, you expose it & you’re unfairly shot as messenger

Nancy: Did he ever stop?

Nancy: How mortifying of her to make such a fuss

Nancy: Gutted you got to be the bearer of bad news though

Teddy: Allegedly this brat was announced & he made a disgusting pledge, but I have 0 proof of that other than knowing my brother is that whipped for fatherhood

Nancy: It worked the first time… far as party tricks, she probably wants to work on some new ones but hey

Nancy: Makes sense why you’re so bored too, if you should be somewhere sunning yourself instead

Teddy: It clearly isn’t broke, more’s the pity when they need to do us all a huge favour & stop reproducing

Teddy: heir & spare is redundant if you get yourself stricken from daddy dearest’s will

Nancy: I don’t know, your brother could unload his DNA into me any time he liked

Nancy: She really should do the sensible thing and stop it before it starts growing organs or whatever, she’s hardly maternal, what’s the point

Teddy: I’ll pass that along with your regards, darling

Nancy: Wonderful

Nancy: Who do you plan on bringing or are you coming solo?

Teddy: Who would you like me to bring, aside from J who is otherwise engaged, heartbreakingly?

Nancy: I am devastated

Nancy: Anyone, truly, I just can’t stand being alone

Nancy: [do list some other people around his age that you can think of]

Teddy: Fantastic

Nancy: Oh, and your fit friend

Nancy: I’ve forgotten his name

Teddy: I’m going to need slightly more description, Nance

Nancy: I’m stalking your followers list, hold on

Nancy: did you know your bio has been changed or?

Teddy: Do you want to [a lewd af act] him or [an even more ridiculous one because depends how fit he is haha, but then he’ll be able to guess] him?

Teddy: I changed it, so yeah

Nancy: The second, obviously, I’m not a nun

Nancy: Okay, own it, I guess

Teddy: [a correct guess of who this friend is] will be there

Teddy: & of course, my sister was in the midst of trying to hate crime me

Nancy: Yay, my night has been saved, I owe you

Nancy: Conversion therapy would be more of a serve than rehab

Teddy: She can make the booking when she’s capable of taking cock which isn’t permanently soft, it reeks of her own gay panic

Nancy: I can see it, she is that kind of power lesbian stereotype, love that for her

Teddy: G dresses like one & Seb is such a boi name

Nancy: It would spice up what is set to be another dull marriage, I doubt you’re that lucky, sorry

Teddy: I’m absolutely not 💔

Nancy: You won’t be, I’ve sorted so much gear for tonight

Teddy: [namedropping a dealer we like]?

Nancy: He’s coming and [another one just for fun] they aren’t in like a turf war, I did check

Teddy: Well done

Nancy: I’d get kicked out of here if things got that street, can’t have that

Teddy: The shame, you’d have to relocate to [a postcode we’re shading]

Nancy: 😱💀 How dare you

Nancy: I’d sooner marry your sister’s limp-dick fiance before set foot in that neighbourhood

Teddy: Kindly do take him off her hands, if I have to sit across from him for another Sunday I may just start a turf war of my own

Nancy: Aw, baby gangster

Nancy: Has he no craic? Is it really all just 🤑? Yikes

Teddy: I’m sorry? Translation please, you went all THAT side of your family on me there

Nancy: Oh shut up, you know what it means, how much of a bore is he

Teddy: 100% naturally or I wouldn’t care

Nancy: Maybe you should shank him then

Nancy: at least THAT side of my family has the good grace to be entertaining

Teddy: Do they?

Nancy: You have no idea, darling

Teddy: I’m yet to be invited to one of those parties

Nancy: Count yourself lucky, with my sister, I’m sure you’ll never get that far

Teddy: I’m quite sure I’m over the chase

Nancy: 💔

Teddy: As you said, she isn’t forthcoming with her happy endings

Teddy: it’s becoming an epidemic

Nancy: Last I heard she was still fake gay anyway

Nancy: my family is far too dysfunctional for Sunday dinners though, it’s been a while

Teddy: You should catch up, there have been romantic developments

Nancy: Who with?

Teddy: TBC, officially

Nancy: Hmm

Nancy: If it’s just another closeted lesbian

Teddy: It’s definitely someone XY

Nancy: Careful, that sounds dangerously close to studying, and I refuse

Nancy: As long as it’s someone attractive this time, I may consider offering my sisterly advice and attention

Teddy: I’d expect no less, from you at least, darling

Nancy: It can hardly be worse, what can I do about my brother’s taste for incest?

Teddy: It always can, my siblings fucking each other would be preferable to the humiliating spouses they choose

Nancy: You’d feel left out

Teddy: Possibly, but Chlo & Seb could be left out, in the cold

Nancy: Story of her life, truly

Teddy: Gia would, she’s desperate for that piece of my father & they look plenty alike

Nancy: Too bad he went so, so boring in rehab

Nancy: not entirely convinced they didn’t perform some kind of lobotomy, he’d never go for it

Teddy: Hopefully they performed a vasectomy too, Chlo wouldn’t shut up about having one over on him when she thought he was finally going to leave her

Nancy: Did she now

Nancy: Well, you know how it was back then, don’t you

Teddy: The newest can’t be his, they don’t ever touch

Nancy: Maybe they never did, she’s always been quite the liar

Teddy: He wouldn’t remember, he’s the perfect cuck scapegoat

Nancy: Poor, poor James

Teddy: He enjoys it, he must

Nancy: maybe

Nancy: or she was determined someone from our group was going to be stuck with her, he was the unlucky one

Teddy: regardless, it gives him pity ammo to fire into his affairs so they feel suitably sorry for him

Nancy: Him leaving her mid-pregnancy would be too good

Teddy: Hence he won’t, ever the disappointment

Nancy: Not if you find out and spill what her final weapon is, that would definitely tank it all and you could enjoy the fireworks

Teddy: It’s that he’s not the father, obviously, nothing else would hit close to the same

Nancy: Do you think she’s lying?

Teddy: I don’t doubt she tells him they aren’t his brats a hundred times a day

Nancy: Right, not exactly trustworthy

Nancy: she can’t be so delusional that she thinks he’d care about any of her own pre-porker extramaritals though

Teddy: He didn’t do the cheek swabs when my father tried to lay down the law pre-wedding, he won’t have now either

Nancy: Duh, he doesn’t want to know he was actually tricked into wasting the best years of his life with her for nothing

Nancy: truth always outs though, whether you’re going to force it or not

Teddy: I’m off her godfather & confidante list for the moment, not forever

Nancy: You’ve got ‘til they return to think up a charming apology, the [whatever drugs you know he’s gonna go for] will help you get creative

Teddy: Precisely, it’ll be too easy

Nancy: that she is, nothing to be done about that, I’m afraid

Teddy: That truth has long been outed

Nancy: She did worse at school than me, that was really saying something, I don’t think I turned up for half of my exams

Teddy: & you’re horrifically disabled

Nancy: Who said that?

Teddy: [someone you’re dobbing in whether they actually said it or not, I’m sure they didn’t]

Nancy: They can get off the guestlist then

Teddy: Deserved, it’s SUCH a mean thing to say

Nancy: especially when they look like this [and a photo of this person gurning because we just keep unflattering photos for revenge] when they’re on it, no room to judge

Teddy: Ha ha

Nancy: I’m SO telling [their S/O] when they get here

Teddy: As you should, imagine waking up next to that for a minute longer than necessary

Nancy: The view from here is outstanding, on the other hand

Teddy: Truly

Nancy: You should invite [someone we know he’s in messy drama with, just for funsies, as much chaos as possible]

Teddy: You’re right, if I wasn’t jetlagged I’d have thought of that

Nancy: You poor, poor thing, you’ll have to stay up all weekend

Teddy: Keep me company & I won’t mind

Nancy: That’s the plan, isn’t it

Teddy: You’ve forgotten your plans with [fit friend]

Nancy: I haven’t

Teddy: Then you’re double booking yourself, darling

Nancy: I can multitask, not actually being disabled

Teddy: He’ll be devastated you intend to

Nancy: No one stays long enough to be devastated, that’s the only, if unspoken, rule

Teddy: You can be devastated, or devastate, in a second, that’s another

Nancy: Yes but I’m so nice, everyone knows that

Teddy: I don’t

Nancy: how rude

Teddy: It is, I have so very little intimate knowledge of you

Nancy: Best ask around, you’re far too young for anything but hearsay

Teddy: Age is just a number & not actually being disabled you shouldn’t struggle to count

Nancy: I’m aware

Nancy: your friend is 18 though, right?

Teddy: [lie that he isn’t even though he is because you don’t want her to sleep with him haha, not at all casually claiming this boy is underage when it’s you who is because we haven’t done your birthday yet]

Nancy: No way, he looks like he could deadlift me

Teddy: [not you also starting a rumour this boy is on steroids or something haha, we love to see it]

Nancy: Oh, great

Nancy: he’s going to ‘roid out and trash my place 🙄

Teddy: I’ll uninvite him, I haven’t invited him yet anyway

Nancy: Yeah, I can tell

Teddy: For the record, I could deadlift you too

Teddy: you can’t weigh more than [we’re being flattering, but also I imagine his unit of measurement is something hilarious and boujee instead of stone or pounds or anything normal]

Nancy: You’re so sweet

Teddy: I’m simply not registered blind, that’s all

Nancy: Invite your friend, there’s always room for one more

Nancy: I might upgrade if he does throw the TV out the window or something else cliche

Teddy: As you wish

Nancy: You can stay as long as you like

Teddy: I tend to

Nancy: When do the happy couple get back?

Teddy: [drop that date on her, probably something totally unpractical like late sunday night when Jay has school again on monday because Chlo booked it]

Nancy: I am long overdue a visit, will have to show my face, see how she is

Teddy: She’ll be ecstatic to see you again

Nancy: What can I bring a pregnant woman, I only know what she likes when she doesn’t have to care about a foetus

Teddy: Something she can eat? It’s apparently all she does judging by the size of her

Nancy: You would too if no one would fuck you and you can’t even drink about it, poor thing

Nancy: I’ll bring the booze, just in case she still needs it

Teddy: You’re all heart, Nancy

Nancy: I did tell you

Teddy: I have been known to need telling certain things multiple times

Nancy: That’s okay, it isn’t my reputation you’re interested in tanking

Teddy: Not tonight

Nancy: Good luck

Teddy: I don’t require luck, I have skill

Nancy: and you did admit to being severely lacking on that front

Teddy: As I’m lacking in irish blood

Nancy: Craic, tbd

Teddy: It has no business sounding like crack & therefore distracting me each & every time

Nancy: 😅 Soon, boy, soon

Teddy: What o’clock do you want me?

Nancy: When can you get here?

Teddy: As soon as you ask

Nancy: right answer

Teddy: So, what’s yours?

Nancy: now

Nancy: everyone else is letting me down and being so goddamn boring

Teddy: Okay

Nancy: Okay

Nancy: and if you see [describe a boy that is clearly your boyfriend lol] turn up, don’t tell him like, half the things I’ve said, or do, at least that’ll be entertaining

Teddy: I’ll consider both options equally carefully

Nancy: I need to myself, he’s being a prick

Teddy: How so?

Nancy: I wish it were in an exciting way, just acting like he NEEDS to pass whatever exam he has and that means he can’t come over

Teddy: Would you like me to ensure he fails?

Nancy: Go on

Teddy: You can pay to pass, it’ll also go the other way

Nancy: What would you want in return?

Teddy: What would make you think I want anything?

Nancy: I would

Teddy: Well, perhaps I’m only eager to show you what I’m capable of

Nancy: that would be worth your time, yes

Teddy: I’m aware of your worth

Nancy: Smooth

Nancy: as you’re being kind tonight, I’ll save you your money, he’s likely to fail however hard he revises

Nancy: too many rugby balls to the head

Teddy: [not this boy transferring her however much money he thinks it would have cost him]

Teddy: You take it, buy yourself whatever it was you mistakenly believe him capable of bringing to the table

Nancy: Why do you want me to be alone?

Teddy: I’m on my way

Nancy: I already asked, you didn’t have to do anything else

Teddy: It’s nothing

Nancy: Okay

Teddy: What are you going to spend the money on? Do tell

Nancy: You shouldn’t need three guesses

Nancy: What do you think he brings to the table, Teddy?

Teddy: [send a link to an expensive but also very extra sex toy as his guess because assuming that’s all this dude is good for obvs but we aren’t calling her vanilla or basic with it, unlike Chlo who is literally getting a shady one as her baby shower gift with a note like at least this won’t get you pregnant, again, haha because I’ve had that idea since we first realised he’d be going and a gift would be needed]

Nancy: [gotta be done haha, send him back some even more outrageous options, being wild about it, unclear whether you’re saying for you or for him]

Nancy: Thanks, sweetie 😘

Teddy: I have the [most outrageous one lol whether he really does or is lying] in pink

Teddy: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Nancy: Have to live up to your sister’s expectations

Teddy: [send a link to shade your sister and her life choices, god knows, saying your Christmas/bday gifting is done with it whichever comes first]

Nancy: [send a link to some erectile dysfunction aids]

Nancy: Couples gift 💝

Teddy: You’ve single-handedly saved Christmas

Nancy: You can invite me then, I can’t handle another Dublin Christmas

Teddy: The more the merrier

Nancy: when you’re not related to the more, yes

Teddy: What I mean is, you’re more than welcome

Nancy: When’s the wedding?

Teddy: She has no sense of urgency considering the blatant deadline, dead being the key word

Nancy: Rather, an engagement means absolutely nothing when it comes to the will

Teddy: It would serve her right

Nancy: I’ve had an idea

Nancy: maybe she’s waiting for someone to object and they haven’t yet 😬

Teddy: I have, strongly

Nancy: Yes, not you, obviously

Nancy: an old flame, the one that got away, that’s what I would do if I wanted a grand gesture

Teddy: Oh, that is an idea

Nancy: You should scope out the exes, see if she can actually be saved or it’s a lost cause and you have to see him every Sunday ‘til he croaks it

Teddy: [be stalking them and giving her updates/the tea as you find it just for fun even though I’m sure you don’t know about all her exes remotely]

Nancy: Love how there’s not ever six degrees of separation between any two people in this town

Teddy: Who do you know & who would you love to?

Nancy: [tell him which of these men you or your friends have hooked up with, whether it’s entirely factual or not idk, likewise spilling tea because by your standards I’m sure they’re all very boring]

Nancy: [one of ‘em] is really, really minted though, he’d be a better BiL

Teddy: It would ruin her whole pretence of being a self-made entrepreneur & unbothered by other people’s money, which alone is enough reason to go ahead

Nancy: Bless her heart 😂

Nancy: self-made isn’t an appropriate title for anyone in your family since like the 1600s

Teddy: Why let reality get in the way of a ‘good’ story? But I’m the fantasist, please

Nancy: People are hypocrites

Nancy: but you have a project now

Teddy: Like homework but rewarding

Nancy: Please, you’ll trigger me

Teddy: Come off it, all that was definitely too long ago for you to remember

Nancy: Cheek!

Teddy: I’m under no illusion you’re all grown up now

Nancy: Backatcha

Teddy: Hardly, but I’ll have you convinced

Nancy: Mhmm

Nancy: Door and bar is open regardless, you aren’t that much of a baby

Teddy: Not unless my mother’s a surprise addition to your guestlist

Nancy: Entertaining as that could prove to be

Nancy: I cannot be bothered getting in a fight with another middle-aged woman about her precious son

Teddy: Another?

Nancy: Have you had a serious girlfriend yet?

Nancy: It’s standard behaviour, truly

Teddy: No, but you’re really selling it

Nancy: Yeah, you’d LOVE the attention

Teddy: I’ll contemplate my options

Nancy: Point is, whoever she is, she won’t be good enough 💔

Teddy: A given, I’d be letting the poor girl know that

Nancy: 🙄😏

Nancy: You’re the worst

Teddy: It’s charitable, putting them in their place

Nancy: One for the UCAS apps, sure

Teddy: To be counted toward an extracurricular or work experience as well depending how hard they resist

Nancy: Do you doubt your abilities?

Teddy: I doubt her, whoever she may be

Nancy: Relationships are overrated but

Nancy: doesn’t stop everyone insisting on shacking up same time every year

Teddy: I refuse to believe a power struggle ever is, people are doing relationships wrong, unsurprisingly

Nancy: It’s never a struggle, men only submit when they’re in love, they won’t until then, no matter what you do

Teddy: No matter what you do, maybe

Nancy: Ha ha

Teddy: [send her some hilarious bondage links to make men submit, just for funsies but also we’re always flirting]

Nancy: That’s easy

Nancy: Actually cucking someone like your brother, or mine

Nancy: takes time and skill

Teddy: Most things do, you’re spoiling yourself with the instantaneous fun of [her drug of choice]

Nancy: Why deny myself?

Teddy: Because you’d be heartbroken to lose your edge

Nancy: Not going to happen

Teddy: Good, your ancestors didn’t die in some terrible famine or other for you to be an embarrassment

Nancy: What ancestors? Self-made actually applies, we don’t keep count of who came before

Teddy: I don’t know, the potato farmers or whoever

Nancy: Sounds like you know more about it than me

Teddy: Yes, I’ve regrettably set foot in a classroom recently, unlike some people

Nancy: Poor boy, it’s catching

Teddy: You’ll have to be the cure

Nancy: Looks like it, or you’re going to start talking about revision like everyone else

Nancy: hurry up

Teddy: How dare you, I’d NEVER speak of such things

Nancy: Tell me more about ancient history, Teddy, it’s SO fascinating

Teddy: [tell her about your own, the goss and the kiss and tells, ofc, because gotta be done]

Nancy: You are learning, in fairness, you’ve stopped talking about famine

Nancy: [someone(s) he’s just namedropped] is going to come through later

Teddy: Excuse me, I won’t stop mocking your poor relations or you, by extension

Teddy: Where would be the fun in that?

Nancy: I mean, feel free, I just think you expect me to be offended and I can’t deliver on that front

Teddy: Am I supposed to be offended [the person] is invited too?

Nancy: No, it may change your plans, was my thinking

Teddy: Share yours if you’re scheming

Nancy: It could be entertaining to give them a little extra in the drink they already can’t handle, see what they say and do

Teddy: Very

Nancy: Last party I saw them at they [just list whatever mortification this person went through that you found hilarious]

Teddy: [likewise drop whatever embarrassing stories you have, which I’m sure you were sworn to secrecy about but you care not]

Nancy: I want that but funnier, more

Teddy: I’ll make it happen for you

Nancy: That’ll be why you’re invited

Teddy: ONE of your reasons, sure

Nancy: What other motives could I possibly have?

Teddy: Time will tell, not me

Nancy: For once

Teddy: Would you prefer me to be a discrete bore? I think not

Nancy: You would be correct, your stories amuse me

Teddy: Which is, naturally, my sole motive

Nancy: You’re not doing charity work here, relax

Nancy: it’s obvious what your motives are

Teddy: No, you aren’t from beginnings THAT humble

Nancy: And you’re not here to put me in my place

Teddy: You’re already where I want you

Nancy: [namedrop this hotel like cheers to that]

Teddy: [show up like see, we’re both where we should be because now he’s alone with her there basically which is obvs what he wants]

Nancy: [me like some other people show up please lmao but clearly no one else was as eager to jump on your invite and SOS so of course he’s here first, just grin at him and gesture towards the massive bar that all those rooms has basically because I am sure you already have a drink and he should catch up]

Teddy: [do grab a drink and down it to catch up whether you have to make it or there’s fully a butler here lol, not you also doing this to show her you’re a man and not a baby, sir you are 15]

Nancy: [the poor staff, let them go, you having someone to make you drinks all day is a terrible idea, at what point do they cut you off? Never, is probably the answer there, yikes; pat the seat beside you like come sit, come catch up, even though he is but 15 and you should not concern yourself with any of this]

Teddy: [the way he’s deliberately almost sitting on her hand to do the absolute most immediately whilst looking so angelic and like butter wouldn’t melt, never change, raise your new glass you’ve brought over to do a toast, literally saying ‘to you, and the end of your boredom’ before taking a drink because we love to be dramatic and amusing always]

Nancy: [kicking some distance back between y’all as if to free your hand but in an entirely playful and amused way, meeting his glass with your own and a look like god I hope so, resting your feet on him after this kicking because comfortable and must dramatically lounge to express your boredom adequately here]

Teddy: [you’ve likewise gotta lounge like a sir Charles cat boy as per, no notes, downing this second drink too but not getting up immediately to get another like you should because so comfortable, picking up her foot purely like he’s checking out her choice of footwear if she’s wearing shoes or commenting on the lack thereof if she isn’t]

Nancy: [you’re probably barefoot as well as not properly party dressed because an impromptu affair and not cool to try hard, though you can groan like he has just reminded you you probably want to change slightly because he has and you have not considered this yet because priorities, kicking him again like how rude lol]

Teddy: [gesturing like should I take mine off as if this is her house and thus a house rule but with a smirk because you’ve been here enough times to know there are no rules and you’re just trying to put the idea of undressing into her mind]

Nancy: [checking out whatever expensive shoes he has on approvingly, nodding ‘sure, I can sell them and escape my humble origins’ going to take his shoes off like lol, so bants, won’t end up in a playfight]

Teddy: [me knowing in my heart that his outfit is hideous because it is expensive and he dresses badly but knowing she’d like it because their tastes are clearly similar, we can’t even talk about this playfight that is ensuing and how quickly it would escalate because he can and will fully lift her off this sofa and be holding her like I told you I could deadlift you, as if that’s the only reason]

Nancy: [it isn’t a vibe but it’s expensive and that’s all that matters obviously, we don’t need to like it to know you two will, hence pulling whatever shirt he has on over his face is purely a distraction and way for you to escape, nothing else]

Teddy: [the LOL from within this shirt prison, icon vibes tbh, as is the way he’s reaching for her throat in such an OTT way like it’s just oh I’m so mad and am gonna throttle you sibling type bants instead of the hot move it actually is, god bless, and the EYE CONTACT when he’s out of this shirt doing that, also iconic, such a LOOK]

Nancy: [doing a dramatic frown so the noise you make seems more outraged in this playfight way than shocked in any real one, shaking your head like you’re getting hair out of your eyes and not as the most feeble attempt to get his hand away ever, giving his face a lil tap like a cat when it does the very slow one before going in]

Teddy: [my boo says skippidy paps and she’s so right for that, using his other hand to move her hair for her, again as if she genuinely needs that, so gently in contrast, and slowly, as his hand more deliberately tightens around her throat for a beat because we’re testing the waters of how much she’ll actually let us do here]

Nancy: [exactly dr phil, we’re not going off but gotta let you know we’re ready to at any moment lol, still, for right now, are we getting you off us, no, not a pussy, just here trying to push you onto your back to likewise see if we can]

Teddy: [let her push you purely so you fall back onto this sofa and can recline even more lavishly and indecently than you were before and can pat the space next to you like she did, knowing that you’ve purposely barely left her any so she’ll be practically sat on you if not likewise fully lying as you near enough are]

Nancy: [laughing at him because he’s such a ham and you find it genuinely funny, keeping him at literal arm’s length by still having your hands on his chest where you pushed him, debating your next move as you bite the inside of your lip, am going to decide it for you in this moment by making someone ring you so you hop off and up to answer that, be it the drugs or your boyfriend or some dramatic friend, whatever]

Teddy: [doing such an OTT 🥺 about this interruption because you know she’ll see it despite said interruption and how good you’ll look doing it and yep that’s totally the only reason you’re not at all gutted about this interruption nope nope, recline for a while watching her but then go and get and have your 3rd drink sir]

Nancy: [WATCHING him do this in silence whilst you let the person on the phone say whatever they gotta say, not replying until it’s totally necessary, at which point you turn around and head towards the bedroom so you don’t need to have this conversation in front of him, not because that would be awkward to do for reasons you don’t want to think about, grabbing a bottle as you go]

Teddy: [catch him loitering in the doorway for that flashfoward to the future and the 1st convo we did when they get the puppy and he’s being all rom com, we can all pretend it’s just because he’s eavesdropping for fun and goss because she made it clear she doesn’t want him to witness this convo but we all know it’s also because he’s gotta linger near her regardless of whether the door is open or closed]

Nancy: [we love a cheeky parallel, whether we’re going back in time or forwards, catch us rolling our eyes because this conversation is not adequately interesting enough to eavesdrop on, we’re not pretending otherwise, busying ourself actually looking for outfits whilst on this call so we don’t just stare at him, throwing something at him partially just to do so but also shrugging in the yes no way to see if he likes whatever this is or nah]

Teddy: [not you just shamelessly coming in and picking her an outfit wordlessly, holding things against her and staring to do the most ofc, never waiting for her reaction to an item before he discards it or tries pairing it with something else, behaving like a stylist or controlling bf, we love to see it, throwing his final lewk on her bed or a chair the way she threw something at him, as if this is casual]

Nancy: [just letting him do this and silently judging his taste and also learning what he likes all at once, why would you not, giving your best poker face to not give away what you think of this final selection, or whether you’ll put it on, reclining on your bed because this person won’t stfu and you can’t let that be known ANY other way, oh no]

Teddy: [coming and taking the bottle from her, whether that’s literally from her hand or from where she left it, because regardless after taking a swig as if that’s your reward for a very hard job well done you’ll have to return it, be that back to her hand or into her hand now instead of where she left it and either is an excuse to be up close and personal and !! before you then strut out with all the confidence of knowing she’ll wear the outfit and she therefore needs you to gtfo so she can put it on, we all know he’s lingering in the doorway again for a sec though first, holding onto the doorframe like he’s gonna use it either to propel him into the room again or properly out, hitting her with a final LOOK before going]

Nancy: [take the drink and take a drink because becoming more and more necessary to be shitfaced, to deal with the fact y’all are still alone and hopefully by the time you have dressed, you will not be because how long can y’all do this dance of lingering looks and touches]

Teddy: [we’ll cockblock y’all by saying that’s the case because we don’t want anything to happen yet, soz not soz to that friend he didn’t invite and told her lies about because you could’ve been the lucky guy but he absolutely was not bringing you hun or letting you know a thing about this party]

Nancy: [we will do what we gotta do, it’s also just realistic, you’re not going to be left alone for long when she put the call out that publicly; we been knew you would not invite that friend and we will have to bring it up when we remember because lbr, not that concerned when we’ve got all this going on]

Teddy: [mhmm, I’m sure she’ll come out of the bedroom and he’ll be making out with some random in such an extra manner because of the tension between y’all that we aren’t letting you address for 2 years, he’ll be on that sofa doing the most with some girl who isn’t you but will do for rn]

Nancy: [thank GOD there are going to be people for you to distract yourself with because you don’t need to say or do a damn thing about that, pretend you aren’t even looking for him when you come out in this outfit even though he was the only person here previously]

Teddy: [me like we’ve GOTTA say this is the girl she ref-ed asking him if he was still with her at the start of their first ever Grace era convo purely for the pettiness because there’s no way he has been with her for 2 years and that means you know that damn well and were just saying it to bring her up and I love that, especially if he wasn’t even with her seriously because what a deliberate throwback then sis]

Nancy: [my boo says we will be the absolute drama, unhinged behaviour you love to see, speaking of, find your dealer immediately and piss off into the nearest bathroom with this man]

Teddy: [time it deliberately so that you go into the bathroom with this girl, whether to hook up or to do drugs or both because leaving it to Nancy’s imagination is always more of a serve, as they come out of it, doing the thing he does in the future where his hand is on Nancy’s lower back as he needlessly steers her out of the door/his way]

Nancy: [scoffing like you are so above these baby antics like god bless you crazy kids, pushing him not dissimilar to how you did earlier but entirely different vibe, holding onto this dude so you don’t fall out the door yourself]

Teddy: [when you’re essentially ignoring her entirely (and the random girl too lowkey soz hun) in favour of speaking to this drug dealer for a sec because that sort of bitch, making both these girls have to stand here because Nancy is holding onto him and Teddy is in a similar way holding onto this girl so she can’t go ahead into the bathroom without him, enjoying prolonging it for as long as you can before this dude is like okay bye and you go into this bathroom finally to do what you’re gonna do, which assumedly is drugs and some sort of hookup whether that’s fully or oral or whatever]

Nancy: [free yourself from this moment and go party, sorry to this woman but we will not be acknowledging your existence, even though, presumably, you know of us on some level to be here lol, so petty, we do not care]

Teddy: [we all know he LOVES how blatantly she has cut this girl dead, soz hun, hence giving Nancy a LOOK as she goes and he disappears into this bathroom for the antics he’s gonna pretend are with her despite being nowhere near as good and this girl clearly not fully delivering on this roleplay she doesn’t know she’s a part of]

Nancy: [always down to cause drama for literally no discernable reason, likewise sleeping with the boyfriend of the girl Teddy said badmouthed you even though you have no proof and do you even care, no, but we’re going to go there when y’all arrive]

Teddy: [as is he, I’m sure he’ll start some drama with that person who she said is coming, these messy bitches just love the carnage, speaking of, me here wondering if we dare to let any other moments happen between y’all or we should be restrained and not]

Nancy: [a nice evening cannot be had, well, you will enjoy yourselves but these randoms are getting screwed over for your entertainment as per; on the one hand, the vibe is very much too ‘busy’ to have any moments but you’re also patently not so maybe we can get away with some more?]

Teddy: [not saying they have to be big dramatic moments but I am saying this place is clearly big enough that you can get away with having some, I vote that she has a balcony like some of the rooms did and they find each other there at some point because he needs a breather from this girl who has been lead to believe they are !! for each other now and she can have any number of reasons to be out there, smoking etc]

Nancy: [hopefully not wobbling off it lmao, it’s always a good idea to get fresh air at some point in every party and you are going to need to, lol at Teddy talking himself into a relationship here, god bless, this girl turning around to peer at him like ‘oh, hello’ as if you’d forgotten he was here, holding out a bottle you have no business having at this stage but we still out here]

Teddy: [a ‘hi’ like it’s casual as he takes the bottle from her, steadying her whether she needs it or not actually with his other hand because it’s an excuse to touch her and he’ll always take that, but he’s out of it too at this point so almost dropping the bottle/tipping it because he wants to do it two handed and he’s not realised he took that and should be swigging from it, but we’re just amused by any spillage caused and steering her away from the puddle with the same lower back hand move ultimately]

Nancy: [going to ‘wrestle’ this bottle back from his clumsy grip but using it as an excuse to put your hands over his on said bottle and just leave it there, being closer to each other again as a result ‘good night’ as a comment because of the mess he is, smirking and shaking your head]

Teddy: [me like omg they love a hand hold and this is lowkey the first ever, like you aren’t but you lowkey are, spinning her to look out at the sky from this balcony like let’s see if it is, again purely just to touch her and be stood behind her, cannot resist yet another flashforward this time to when they were at the engagement party and he pulled out the label of her dress, doing it now to make that hit different (because someone else bought it for her) with the outfit he picked like he’s so proud of himself for his choices/must see who the designer is in this dim light and this half cut instead of just touching the back of her neck indecently, his head bent like he’s actually trying to read and isn’t simply breathing against her skin with his hmm sound like he’s considering her question/comment so seriously]

Nancy: [when it’s clearly more like the early AM and this pleases you so your smile is almost audible as you are looking over Soho and the people below either also still partying or getting up for work, turning your head back, so you can brush your hair against his face/see what he’s doing like you need to know, smoothing this outfit against yourself in a way that makes it cling to you and he’ll be able to see up close from over your shoulder, because a casual move that isn’t for anyone’s benefit, yep ‘your taste can be passable’]

Teddy: [when you can feel her vibe and it makes you feel likewise happy in a way that she’d likewise be able to just feel coming off you, it’s a nice moment of shared solidarity and feeling, we stan, moving to brush her hair back again like he did earlier but by the very nature of how drunk and high they both are it’s much less soft, not to mention this boy IRL and thus as a character likes to wear a lot of rings so I imagine one of those getting caught in her hair and making the move so !! because not only is it PULLING but then he’ll also have to spend a sec untangling her, which we can’t even talk about the closeness of, but finally able to appreciate this ootn and the move she pulled when he’s managed that ‘yours, I simply pulled it off a hanger’ because your clothes and your taste so if you’re shading his choice you’re shading yourself lol]

Nancy: [when you can’t adequately put words to any kind of being mad at him, faux or genuine, because you’re far too into it and a mess to fight either of those enough, just looking at him with the !! you aren’t explaining or excusing here ‘Yeah, I was being polite’ as you’re smoothing your hair down after he’s been all up in it ‘remember?’]

Teddy: [‘why?’ with the genuine sort of incredulousness of someone who is never polite and sees no reason to be because he faces no consequences for not being, twisting said ring around on his finger as though that’s just a casual action of him readjusting it so it doesn’t fall off or anything/ the idea of politeness is a such a boring concept but really he’s gotta because it’s been all up in her hair and he’d LOVE for a hair of hers to be stuck there but idk if it is because I can’t remember what rings you’re rocking off the top of my head and if any of them allow for that design wise by having like a stone or something for it to be caught round so who can say]

Nancy: [‘I’m nice’ gesturing like duh, hello, despite the fact you literally slept with someone’s boyfriend at this party behind her back and god knows what else general chaos and evilness, because you said you were to him before and the point is we’re shading your taste the rest of the time, of course, here patting ourself down to see if we have any cigarettes because a good time to distract yourself again]

Teddy: [a lol because you know she isn’t nice and you’re into it ‘you’re dressed for it, yeah’ just telling her she looks nice like he didn’t pick this outfit haha, not him shamelessly joining in with this pat down as if purely to help her find what she’s looking for but actually we’re doing the most running our hands over her body nbd]

Nancy: [when you’ve clearly lost or smoked the pack already so you truly are out here doing this for no reason, shamelessly, making a noise of frustration like that alone has you raging]

Teddy: [it’s clearly that point in the night where you don’t have any either so you can’t even be a hero and produce one, instead do a hot move of pulling her into you and her head back to pour some of this bottle’s contents down her throat as if that will relieve her frustration and you didn’t just want to, catching a stray drip/ lbr very messy trickle of liquid with your hand and then indecently putting those fingers to your own mouth, it’s fine, it’s casual]

Nancy: [when the way your body crashes back into his this time is unavoidable and thus you can allow yourself to push back, standing on your tiptoes to be closer to the bottle as if it’ll make this any less messy, can pretend your enthusiasm is solely for the alcohol, thus tilting your head back more and LOOKING at him expectantly is fine too]

Teddy: [letting her feel how that push back got him hard with no shame whatsoever because no fucks are given, hence he’s going from pouring this bottle from a height to pushing it into her mouth so her lips are around it, me like, where is everyone, you’ve been alone on this balcony too long lol]

Nancy: [when you’re fully in danger of downing a whole bottle of something here with how you refuse to stop, dancing against him as if this is for show but no one is close enough to be paying attention yet obviously so who is it for, just working your way down ‘til you’re kneeling in front of him and this bottle, almost panting with the way you’ve gotta stick your tongue out but you’re having trouble breathing]

Teddy: [soz that him and all his antics are only encouraging her to get alcohol poisoning truly, he’ll have her basically deepthroating this bottle neck before he’d let her stop, but at least it’s feasible we can have her choke/gag/retch/throw up when we need to cockblock y’all a bit cos he’s stopped breathing in comparison, just WATCHING her do all this]

Nancy: [no one has ever been more turned on by alcohol, truly, here letting it spill over us even more than he did the first time because we wanna feel it, rip this outfit]

Teddy: [mhmm, the sounds of it all alone would be enough to make him do a lil moan nevermind the sights and how you know she feels and the combo, so he is, thankfully nobody else is entertaining y’all at the moment and won’t hear him]

Nancy: [the sounds you are making are clearly going to get too unhinged to the point of someone else coming over, at which point we’re going to have to think fast on our drunk feet and just involve said person and pour some into their mouth until the bottle is being passed ‘round in this saucy manner like it’s just a game we’re all playing]

Teddy: [great work, someone else can be the flop who throws up and ruins the vibe and the game, there’s always one and it’ll send this boy back inside like lol ew]

Nancy: [I’m gonna do something hold on]

Nancy: Come over now, I’ll send everyone home

Teddy: Everyone?

Nancy: Yes, I just need you

Teddy: How unfair, Nance, I just got here

Nancy: Um, no you didn’t, what??

Teddy: Okay, true, it’s been a while

Teddy: but it isn’t polite of you to kick me out regardless

Nancy: Oh, you

Nancy: go away, I didn’t message you

Teddy: Yes you did, darling

Nancy: Not on purpose, don’t feel special

Teddy: Freud would have a field day with your slip

Teddy: tell me again about how much you need me

Nancy: I’m disabled, you can’t make jokes about it, shut up please

Teddy: It’s my duty therefore to prevent you taking yet another rugby ball to the head

Nancy: Your duty?

Teddy: You can still read then

Nancy: You’re not old enough for a paper round, don’t be talking like that

Teddy: I’m too rich for a paper round, your roots are showing again

Nancy: No, this is natural

Teddy: Please, don’t embarrass yourself OR me

Nancy: I am embarrassed, you carry on as you were

Teddy: We can’t all carry off platinum blonde, being a brunette is nothing to be ashamed of

Nancy: You are looking brassy

Teddy: I am not

Nancy: There’s toner in the bathroom, you can borrow some

Teddy: & deprive your boyfriend of the chance to drink it? I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that

Nancy: How polite

Teddy: Makes one of us, I suppose

Nancy: It was an accident

Teddy: You want me to leave

Nancy: No

Nancy: I say what he needs to hear to come over

Teddy: Message received

Nancy: That makes one of you

Teddy: Quite

Teddy: best of luck with your second attempt

Nancy: Don’t be mad at me, no one’s leaving

Teddy: I am, but no one special

Nancy: Come on

Teddy: Until next time

Nancy: Be like that

Teddy: I’m busy a few hours from now anyway

Nancy: Why?

Teddy: Because my father hasn’t taken enough rugby balls to the head & he’s a sadist

Nancy: Get some [whatever drugs we think will counter the drink and what we assume is still in his system]

Teddy: No thank you, seeing me this way will act as a deterrent for his future ridiculous ideas, I have no interest in remedies

Nancy: Will it?

Teddy: If he has been blessed with any of the sense he claims I wasn’t born with

Nancy: Good luck, honestly

Nancy: parents are unbelievably dim

Teddy: It’s something else that’s catching evidently

Nancy: Ha ha

Teddy: Yeah well

Teddy: Do have fun, won’t you?

Nancy: What else

Teddy: The list would be almost as tragic as the behaviour itself, I’ll spare us both & allow you to focus on said back & forth between you & the other T in your life

Nancy: Okay boring

Teddy: You started it

Nancy: You

Teddy: No, you

Nancy: Liar

Teddy: Go away, I actually didn’t message you

Nancy: I’m going, you keep talking to me

Teddy: [leave that one on read as hard as it would be because you wanna have the last word always + talk to her]

Nancy: [soz boy, at least you can leave and have it that way ‘cos we’ll be watching to see if you do]

Teddy: [gotta love a diva storm out]

Nancy: [hopefully before her boyfriend walks in or it’s that blatant lol]

Teddy: [I’m sure he’ll take ages to arrive if he even does at all, that’s what he’s giving]

Nancy: [would’ve promised more if you had not in fact got the wrong inbox which kinda stopped you in your tracks there hun]

Teddy: [you’re welcome cos a notp for us all there]

Nancy: [as are all her tenuous ‘relationships’ with varying degrees of bad]

Teddy: [mhmm, well we should probably post this as he has stropped off and no more can really be done]

1 note · View note

aetherith · 1 year

Text

ABOUT THIS BLOG

Hey folks! While my bio has information about me, this post is for other necessary information, including what you should know about my blog before following and my socials if you’re interested in checking them out!

What I Post About

Things I post on my account primarily include stuff related to my current hyperfixation, posts that I think are funny, and posts that I think make good points. My hyperfixations change rather frequently, and when it does my fandom art is mostly based on that one thing, so if you follow me for a specific fandom please be prepared for that. That does not mean I will never make art for a previous hyperfixation again, it might just take me a while to return to it. This is most likely to happen if said piece of media is still releasing content.

I am unlikely to share political stuff unless, as stated previously, a post makes a good point. I am a debater and enjoy seeing people’s perspectives if they can make a good argument for those perspectives. If I share a perspective that you disagree with that doesn’t mean that I think you are a horrible person and aren’t welcome here; different views are valued, accepted, and celebrated on this blog.

I’ve been bad at tagging in the past but I’m trying to get better at it.

Before you Follow

Look… I absolutely cannot control who follows me. However, I can control who I block, and if you actively engage in ideas/actions like the ones listed below, especially aimed at me or people I know, you will get blocked. I’m pretty tolerant but there are some things that I cannot stand.

-Getting extremely riled up over mere opinions, especially when said opinions do not harm anyone in any way. If you are going to harass people over a simple perspective that harms absolutely no one know that I probably will block you and you should consider why minor disagreements get you so upset.

-Telling literally ANYONE to kill themselves or saying that anyone deserved an extremely horrible and traumatic event. If you don’t recognize how disgusting saying that is I really encourage you to consider what causes you to get so angry and to work on that. Saving things like that is never okay. Ever.

SOCIALS

YouTube - https://youtube.com/@Etherithical?si=huMtYew27BwnzSkb

Instagram - https://instagram.com/ether_ithical?igshid=MjEwN2IyYWYwYw==

Discord - etherithical (friend requests are welcome, just don’t be weird)

ToyHouse - https://toyhou.se/Etherithical

ArtFight - https://artfight.net/~Etherithical

#about this blog #about this page

1 note · View note

rivetgoth · 2 years

Note

I don’t know if you can answer this because idk if you’re gay or not but would you say it’s nearly impossible for someone who is ftm and gay like me to find a cis gender boyfriend? I know there’s chasers and to some I’m like a kink but I feel like most cis gay men are not open to dating, let alone ever settling down one day with a trans guy

I don’t mean this to sound rude but I’d probably recommend checking out my bio in the future because unfortunately (for the context of this ask, not for me, haha) I’m bisexual and in a long term and happy relationship with a woman, so I’m not gay, no, and I’d probably suggest finding a gay trans guy who is in a happy relationship with a man to get better information on this, but I mean… I’ve known PLENTY of trans guys of all orientations who have found love. I’ve known trans guys with success in dating apps for both relationships and hookups, trans guys who’ve been in happy relationships with men, etc. I would not at all say that it’s nearly impossible; I think if you interact with large LGBT community spaces (which I’m very aware is a privilege that I have due to living in a big city in a blue state, I’m not saying that’s an easy thing to have access to) you’ll hear a MASSIVE amount of varied experiences among trans people in relationships, including a huge number who have happy relationships with long term partners.

Like, truly, speaking from experience as someone who knows a LOT of trans people, I would earnestly say, not trying to just sound nice or sugarcoating it or anything, the ratio of trans men (and trans people I know in general, including transfems and nonbinary people) in happy relationships is just about perfectly 50:50 to the cis people I know. I do know trans men who are chronically single and struggle hugely to find relationships. I also know cis men in the exact same boat. I know trans men who are in open relationships and have both long term partners and are able to hookup with hot guys they meet. I know both straight and lesbian trans women with long term partners. I know kinky polyamorous nonbinary people who have had like 3-4 partners at once. Trans women in huge polycules. I know chronically single socially awkward cis women. It’s like. Genuinely not even something I really think about, I know so many “taken” trans people by being active in local kink and alt and LGBT spaces, and I’m not exactly like a social butterfly that knows insane numbers of people, I just am never surprised to hear about a trans person in a relationship because it’s not even a rarity or anything to me, you know?

I do get that dating as a trans person can feel like a minefield though, especially if you’re in an area that doesn’t have a big LGBT community presence. Options feel limited and at worst it can genuinely feel unsafe. I still get nervous when I’m hit on sometimes because I’m aware as a passing transsexual guy that I’m not being interpreted as trans and thus if I pursue the relationship there will be a moment that I’ll have to “come out,” where my genitals will have to be a whole convo on the table and it’ll be for some the moment of judgment and they may very well change their mind altogether, if not react with violence or aggression. That sucks. Like, a lot. I also don’t really think that it’s possible for anyone, trans or cis, to have a healthy and happy relationship unless we feel at least somewhat secure in ourselves. You know the whole “you can’t be loved until you love yourself” phrase? Obviously that’s not 100% true point blank, but I do think it’s hard to express outwards affection in a healthy way when you can’t get out of your own insecurities; it’s bound to be projected onto others or keep you from fully expressing yourself and your wants. But that’s hard for lots of trans folk, due to both dysphoria as well as external pressures like how so much of society views our bodies as anomalies or fetishes. So there is a balancing act that kind of has to happen where you learn self preservation and being smart about how you put yourself out there, but also learn to confidently put yourself out there at all and not be limited by fear. Tricky, and sometimes luck based IME, but like, the more social interaction you have and the more people you meet and the more you’re rejected and the more you’re able to form positive social connections and just the more experience you get in general the easier it becomes.

And uh last thought, I’m not going to touch this too much because I get it’s a touchy subject, but you asked me so I’m answering, I would like to push back on something here— I’d suggest asking yourself why you explicitly seem to be looking to date cis? I know “genital preferences” is like, a massively controversial subject and I don’t need anyone justifying themselves in my inbox by explaining the nuances of their unique traumas or preferences that have made them decide that they only want to date cis (I’m an anarchist so I think you can do whatever you want lol) but like, all being open to dating other trans guys does is open up the door to more options and possibilities? I’m not exclusively T4T myself seeing as I’m literally not dating a trans person, but I have spoken before about how I’m not really crazy about trans people who explicitly only date cis. I think there are often implications there that should be worked through about how you view your own identity TBH, but that’s not really my business. My advice stands regardless of your relationship preferences or goals IMHO.

11 notes · View notes

goshikitsutomusmommy · 4 years

Text

“Incorrect Quotes with Haikyuu Boys„

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Synopsis : Different Quotes From Brooklyn-Nine-Nine (and F.R.I.E.N.D.S) as Haikyuu Characters

Genre : Comedy , slight romance

Paring(s) : Osamu x reader , Atsumu x reader , Shirabu x reader , slight Iwaizumi x reader , slight Kyoutani x reader

Word Count : 0.83k

Warning(s) : She/her pronouns used , slight mention of suicidal joke , timeskip spoilers

Masterlist Link : Here

Osamu : *About to leave*.

[Name] : Aren’t you forgetting something?

Osamu : *Kisses forehead and heads out*.

[Name] : No! Pay the bill!

Part 1/4

Suna : [Name] hasn’t taken her eyes off her phone in two hours. First to make her look up wins the pot.

Aran : I’m in. A bet which improves someone’s manners? Double score!

Atsumu : Too bad, guys, a got this in the bag. A used to distract ‘er from ‘er phone all the time when we were smoochin’ buds.

Suna : Ugh, ew.

Aran : Yeah...

Part 2/4

*Atsumu tries walking seductively towards manager*

Atsumu : Hey, girl.

[Name] : *Throws nearby binder at his crotch*.

Atsumu : *Groaning*, Catch ya later...

Part 3/4

Suna : Mid morning dance party! *Turns on disco music on speaker*.

*Manager dancing to the music without looking up from her phone*

Suna : She’s dancing even better than normal.

Part 4/4

Aran : Oh god, did ya hear that George W. Bush died?

[Name] : *Still not looking up*, Who dat?

*Manager feeling down*

Semi : You’re a good manager. Do not beat yourself up about that.

[Name] : I’m not a good manager. I’m an amazing manager. And I’ll never forgive myself.

Shirabu : I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb love interests till I got a dumb girlfriend myself. I’ve only been with [Name] for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

*Karasuno mentoring elementary students for the day*

Part 1/3

[Name], to two young girls : Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. You’re dating the blond kid and you like Filipino Bieber but you’re worried he’s still into Little-Miss-Side-Braid-Janky-Purse. Haha! I know so much. Hi, I’m [Name]. Hey~!

Part 2/3

Daichi : Great. So can you take over with the kids for a bit?

Asahi : Of course! I’m amazing with kids!

*Daichi leaves momentarily*

Asahi : *Nervous laughter*, I’m terrible with kids. I don’t know the lingo. You have to do this!

[Name] : I can’t, Hina is in the bathroom right now freaking out because Yui made out with Akira even though she knows Mei’s into him. Unless you want the Spring Dance to be a total drama fest, I have to be there for her.

Part 3/3

Daichi : Oh, uh, [Name], Akito-Sensei said you had a real impact on those kids. Apparently, you were just named Spring Dance Princess somehow...?

[Name] : Mhmm, what am I always telling you guys? I’m royalty.

[Name] : Apparently, he’s very into bird watching, so talking to a woman should blow his mind. And talking to this *Gestures to self*, woman, it could kill him.

Yachi : *Taking notes*.

*Meeting Seijoh for the first time as their manager*

[Name] : Hi. [Surname] [Name], the human form of the 100 emoji.

*Iwaizumi having a hand wrestle with Kyotani*

[Name] : Guys, take off your shirts! It’s restricting your body movements.

*Kageyama and Hinata in the boys bathroom trying to be discreet about a secret*

Kageyama : No one can know about this, understood?

Hinata : Understood.

[Name] : Understood.

*Kageyama and Hinata visibly alarmed*

[Name] : *Entering their stall*, What? I hang out in the men’s bathroom all the time. The acoustics are amazing~.

{Exceeded limited pics, pretend for me😁}

*Aged up*

*At [Name]’s apartment*

Part 1/2

Semi : Then you distract her a Barbie doll.

Shirabu : *Deep in thought*.

[Name] : Or... You could just, you know... *Pushes Shirabu aggressively onto already broken fridge*.

[Name] : *Mouth gaping dramatically*.

Shirabu : What the hell are you doing?!

[Name] : Wh... What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing?! You just broke my fridge!

Shirabu : What?! How do you know if—... *Deep breathe* How do you know if it’s even broken?

[Name] : Oh, you think I don’t know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! *Opens fridge door*, Well, what do you know? Broken! That’ll be ¥45 thousand.

Semi : [Name], I saw you push him.

[Name] : Semi, remember what I told you when our fridge broke? I still haven’t gotten the check for your half yet.

Shirabu : Do not give her any money.

[Name] : I’m talking to you, you broke my fridge!

Part 2/2

[Name] : You owe me ¥45 thousand.

Goshiki : Okay, sure!

[Name] : Really?!

Goshiki : Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait! Technically, you owe me ¥70 thousand for sending happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.

[Name] : *Silence*, ... Call it even?

Goshiki : Okay!

{Pretend this is a header too <33}

*Timeskip*

*[Name] walks in Sugawara’s elementary classroom*

[Name] : Suga, can I talk to you? It’s urgent.

Sugawara : Yeah, sure...

[Name] : Okay, Daichi and Asahi are running a little late today for our hangout.

Sugawara : But, what’s wrong with them?

[Name] : Nothing, why?

Sugawara : [Name], you said it was urgent.

[Name] : Oh, yeah, it is. I’m going to the movies and it starts in, like, five minutes.

Sugawara : Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?

[Name] : Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so rude! *Turns to talk to the students*, Does anyone want to come to the movies?

{Again, pretend this is a header plsss}

Author’s Note : I just made the masterlist and it took me a while to figure out how to link it to my bio🤕🤕 if you wanna check out my work, here is the link

438 notes · View notes

witch-hazels-musings · 2 years

Note

Okay so while you're giving new writing blog advice I have a question. I know why bloggers request minors not follow or dni with certain posts, but what I'm not sure about is the "requirement" to have your age in your bio. Anyone could lie about that, but I also personally don't feel it's responsible for anyone to do that, less so adults but still. Wouldn't it be better to have a general disclaimer acknowledging interactions are out of your control until you are made aware by some means? (1)

(2) I only ask because it seems wrong to tell people before they've followed or perhaps after they've been recommended several of your posts that you'll block them because they don't show their age. Again, I get the why but it just seems harsh, esp when people might see a fic outside of your main page. Thoughts? idk if you've ever run into this but as the tumblr fic landscape changes I sometimes find it hard to keep up. I am ace are rarely if ever interact with nsfw posts unless mild or not very (3) descriptive, but even at 26yo now when I go to a blog and see that on their pinned/dni/byf it kind of ? Is just odd to me. Sorry for the long and possibly convoluted ask. It's just something I've thought of a lot and you're very knowledgeable on blogging and write both so ;-; thanks for your consideration when answering!

--- (hazels answer below the cut)

So I can only answer this for myself but I think it’s important to remember that everyone has boundaries they want to have respected -- you’re right that people can lie about their age and there is a big level of trust going on around the blogs here, but we never really know the reason why someone would or wouldn’t want certain blogs to follow them or interact with them

I can never 100% guarantee that people don’t read the stuff I tag with an age and when I started this blog I did have a general disclaimer “you are your own person I can’t control you. respect me and I’ll respect you”

disclaimers are always powerful in my book -- but my reactions and interactions with others are in my own control (if i’m not being vigilant then I might be stepping over a boundary I can’t take back)

as people on this site continue to grow and create and post things, we should be aware of who is around us -- that’s why we put trigger warnings and tags on our fics, that’s why we tell minors not to interact with this post, that’s why we ask people to not do certain things (It’s part of being considerate of those around us while also ensuring our safety and boundaries are being met)

a good rule for anyone is to check that pinned post / BYF to see what’s going on with that blog, also check the blog owner before reading a NSFW to ensure they’ve listed their age (if there isn’t an 18+ age I pass on that fic) -- and if you want to make a blog that’s open and accessible without restrictions you absolutely can! That’s what makes this site so flexible and autonomous

So think of those not as a way to say you are wrong / bad / or not worthy to be around, and instead turn it into empathy that perhaps this person has a solid reason for not wanting certain people to interact with them

(Personally, I use blocking as a last resort sort of option and wouldn’t block someone without real reason too)

#hazelmail #blog elixir #i don't know if this really helped anon #but I hope it gave you another perspective to consider?

7 notes · View notes

sukirichi · 4 years

Text

suki’s restaurant is now CLOSED! please read updates after the “keep reading” tab!

thank you for the milestone! it’s really such a huge gift to me since i just started posting jjk content here ten days ago (◕ᴗ◕✿) as a small token of appreciation, all requests are now open and there’s a variety of ingredients you can choose from!

masterlist !

meal guides:

🥞 breakfast - fics longer than 1k word counts

🍙 lunch (headcanons)

🍷 wine (nsfw content)

🍰 snack (timestamps, imagines & drabbles)

🍌 thirsts (ramble with me about our smexy thoughts!) for the brainrots

PLEASE READ:

— this event is officially closed. my asks are only open for the previous anons who i’ve asked to do a redo for any mistakes/restrictions in their previous orders.

— new requests will no longer be accepted. or maybe it will because i’m easily swayed with great ideas but it will no longer be part of the milestone event.

— my writing schedule is only during wednesdays, fridays, and the weekends. some works will be written in advance and scheduled to post daily (if possible.)

— please be patient! as you can see, i’ve got a lot of requests, and i really want your meals to be as pleasing and delicious as possible, so please please be patient. i’m training for med school and i’ve got other responsibilities too. if you want to decline a request if you can’t wait for it, that’s fine.

— i’m human so...my mind can change any minute, and i could no longer be interested in a certain idea. if that happens, i’ll reply to your ask that i won’t be serving your meal anymore even if it’s here on the list below. it sounds kind of rude, but i wouldn’t want to write something i’m not interested in for the sake of pleasing others, because if i write something i don’t enjoy/am not that interested in anymore, then the meal won’t turn out as good had i been passionate for it. it’s going to be done out of forced productivity and the food might taste bad :<

— the last batch of accepted meals will be marked as ✿

— favorites will be marked as ★. because they’re the ideas i find most interesting and the ones i adore the most, they will take longer to be completed. i really want to give my ultimate best on that and just UNLEASH everything i have in me.

how to order!

✦ choose from the ingredients below

✦ choose your own sugar and spice!

✦ choose from the meal guides above! please specify if you want your request to be

✦ send in your request by dropping it on my ask box!

✦ be as descriptive as you want in your request, i want to make a good meal for you!

✦ example of how to order:

— breakfast: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 for gojo

— alternative: 9+1+1+song (optional) + dialogue of choice (optional)

— alternative: breakfast with wine: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 + spice 1 for gojo

— optional: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 + spice 1 for toji + cookie “starboy by the weeknd” and “you wanna fuck me so bad”

ingredients : au (max of 2 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

✦ sugar daddy au

✦ arranged marriage au

✦ accidental pregnancy au

✦ high school au

✦ university au

✦ med! student au / doctor! au

✦ lawyer au

✦ detective au

✦ ceo au

✦ sugar mommy au

✦ neighbours au

✦ bed sharing au

✦ roommates au

✦ co-workers au

✦ body swap au

✦ soulmate au

✦ fake dating au

✦ marriage for convenience au

✦ bodyguard au

✦ assassin au

✦ married au

✦ love triangle au

✦ mutual pining au

✦ unrequited love au

✦ meet drunk au

✦ meet cute au

✦ siblings’ friend au

✦ friend’s sibling au

✦ established relationship au

✦ breakup au

✦ barista au / coffee shop au

✦ teacher x student au

✦ royalty au

✦ rentboy au

✦ camboy/camgirl au

✦ ex au

✦ mistaken identity

✦ fuck buddies au

✦ bartender au

✦ tattoo artist au

✦ apocalypse au

✦ playboy au

✦ stoner au

✦ love at first sight au

✦ hate sex au

✦ sleepover au

✦ worthy opponent au

✦ age gap au

✦ loss of virginity au

✦ gangster au

✦ mafia au

✦ bet au

✦ rebound au

✦ drunk hookup au

✦ bad boy good girl au

✦ amnesia au

✦ reincarnation au

✦ one of them is famous

✦ one of them doesn’t know the other exists

✦ one of them is oblivious

✦ one of them is taken already

✦ polar opposites au

✦ met at the subway au

✦ library au

✦ football player au

✦ canon au (jjk canon)

✦ send me your own au!

sugar: tropes (max of 2 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

✦ best friends to lovers

✦ enemies to lovers

✦ lovers to enemies

✦ strangers to lovers

✦ mutual pining

✦ unrequited love

✦ forbidden relationship

✦ partners in crime

✦ slow burn

✦ send me your own trope!

spice: (for nsfw requests) (max of 3 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

— here are the kinks/sexual content i’m comfortable writing about. there’s still a lot of kinks idk about so if it’s not here, please feel free to include the spice in the ask!

✦ breeding kink

✦ size kink

✦ stockholm syndrome

✦ age play

✦ agoraphilia (public place kink)

✦ somnophilia (consensual sex where the other is asleep)

✦ breath play

✦ dumbification

✦ cum play

✦ begging kink

✦ praising kink

✦ thigh riding

✦ collaring

✦ face sitting

✦ 34+35

✦ dacryphilia

✦ disciplining

✦ dirty talking

✦ exhibitionism

✦ role playing

✦ gagging

✦ watersports

✦ send me your own kink!

cherry on top : characters

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, noritoshi kamo, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento, okkotsu yuta

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge

— characters i want to write for but don’t think i can write well (nsfw & sfw)

: suguru geto, naoya zenin

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro toji, nanami kento, fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin

additional cookie!

✦ send me a song as a story inspo!

✦ send me your dialogue! (ex. “shut up and kiss me.”)

restaraunt rules : please read!

— i do not write about yandere, stalker, pregnant! reader (unless it’s still until the early age where the belly is still small), non-con, and heavily canon requests

— nsfw content i won’t write about: period sex, blood play, temperature play, pegging, male characters dressing up as female, monster fucking (sorry, sukuna won’t be getting four arms if you want nsfw for him), bestiality, incest, hypnosis (non-con related)

— not exactly a restriction, but please keep in mind that y/n is still a character for me as the writer. i may or may not add in features that even though isn’t explicit, could be something not suitable for everyone. phrases like, “he peered down at her” sounds neutral enough, but could still be implied that the reader is shorter than the anime character. it’s difficult to write a 100% neutral fic that won’t imply appearance one way or another. if i’ve written anything offensive/upsetting, feel free to tell me about it. i’ll do my best to keep it neutral.

— the reader will always be female bodied in nsfw content

— please be patient! i want to write fics the requester enjoys so i’m going to take my time in preparing your meal!

— i may or may not cook your meal 100% according to your request. depending on my comfort upon the idea, i may have to tweak a detail or two.

— i can refuse your request if i don’t want to write about it for personal or other reasons. i’ll let you know beforehand.

— wine will take longer to be served!

— i will announce if a trope/au/character is no longer open for requests. i feel like some ingredients will be quite common amongst requesters and i don’t want to write for the same thing over and over again. same goes in the manner that if you have a similar request to another, it’ll be fused into one idea/meal.

— if your request contains offensive/uncomfortable content, i won’t even respond back to you. i’ll immediately delete your ask.

— if you still don’t get or are confused by the guides, send me an ask! i’ll happily guide you!

— this event is now closed. i will temporarily be closing my ask box so i don’t get flooded. i’ll open it again tonight for anyone who has questions or just want to drop a message!

hmm...i’m still not sure how to order for my meal.

✧ what if the story/scenario i want isn’t included in the choices above?

— as i’ve stated, please feel free to request whatever you want! the choices are there to give people an idea what they’d like to see, but if it’s not there, you can still request for it as stated in the “send me an au/trope/kink you want!”

✧ what if i don’t have any ingredient, spice, or sugar i want but a song inspo anyway?

— that’s also fine, but it would be preferred if you’re descriptive so your meal could be delivered better and faster. in this case though, i’ll just have to get creative!

✧ what if i want more than one character in the request?

— having others included in the request is fine, but as much as possible, i can only write a maximum of two main characters (the reader excluded)

✧ what if i want to request for the ones you want to write for but you don’t think you can pull it off well?

— just a heads up! i would love to write for them, but because i’m not entirely caught up in the manga, the characters mentioned above aren’t ones i know very well yet.

✧ not exactly regarding the meal, but i’ve sent you requests from last week. would you still be writing them?

— i’ve received several requests when my bio states that requests are closed. however, because the ideas are actually really precious and i know i’d have fun writing them, i’d still write about them. i just cannot guarantee you’ll receive your meal soon since my requests were closed when you sent them.

UPDATES:

Day One: breeding kink, size kink, thigh riding, married au, best friends to lovers is NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

Day Two: established relationship au, mutual pining, dumbification, and gojo satoru is NO LONGER AVAILABLE. to the asks that were received before this update, you may check on the requests accepted whether you made it to the cut or not. i’ll update this later. the restaurant will also reach out to you if one of your requested ingredients/spice/sugar/cherry on top did not make the cut. my asks are still open, so please tweak your requests a little bit to what is available!

Day Two Update 2: Restaurant is CLOSED! spice 6 (somnophilia) is also no longer available! Check the requests accepted to see if you’ve made the cut, the latest and last accepted requests will be marked as ✿!

requests accepted:

✦ fushiguro megumi

megumi really likes reader and gojo, yuuji, nobara helps him confess

shy megumi who is really flustered and shy around his crush meals fused into one. read here: not shy

★🥞🍷 40 (tattoo artist au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 2,12,13 (size kink, praise kink, thigh riding) + reader is shorter than megumi and isn’t shy read here: work of art

(★🥞🍷 5 (university au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 12, 3 (praise kink, stockholm syndrome) + virgin megumi) i’ve been outlining this for days but idk...i just can’t seem to form something out of it. i still have it saved but idk if i can still finish, i’ll try my best though. it’s just challenging to write, sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

🥞 + 33 (royalty au) + 1 (best friends to lovers)

🍷 + 27 (siblings’ friend au) + 1, 11, 19 (breeding kink, dumbification, dirty talking) + feral megumi (feral megumi supremacy) read here: unstoppable

🥞 + 3, 38 (accidental pregnancy, fuck buddies au) + childhood friends to lovers + baby moments with father! megumi MEAL ORDER 9 & 7 FUSED read here: happy little accidents

★ vampire au + 55 (reincarnation au) + 6 (somnophilia) + vampire markings + blood drinking + nursing megumi...or him nursing you? hmm? (STRUGGLE PAANIK) read here: scarlet

✿ 🍰🍷 23, 38 (mutual pining au, fuck buddies au) might fuse it with request 7 MEAL ORDER 9 & 7 FUSED read here: happy little accidents

✦ nanami kento

jealous nanami with oblivious reader + gojo annoying nanami making nanami confess read here: a little push

comfort & angst fic where reader dates gojo but gojo cheats so she breaks down, leaves him, and nanami comforts reader it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :(

★🥞 + 33 (royalty au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) read here: violet

🥞🍷 + 21 (married au) + 4 (strangers to lovers) + 2, 12 (size kink, praising kink) MEAL U

🥞🍷 + 23 (mutual pining au) + 1 (best friends to lovers) + 1 (breeding kink) read here: like crashing waves

ingredient 6 (med! student au / doctor! au) + sugar 7 (forbidden relationship) + spices 12 (praising kink) + dacryphilia read here: overtime

✦ noritoshi kamo

fem!dom reader where nori defends his wife from the elders so she gives him the best night + blowjobs + overstimulation + sub! househusband nori + tit sucking spspss (MEAL UNAVAILABLE)

🍷 + 18 (marriage for convenience au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 18 (disciplining)

🥞 + 21 (married au) + 1,13 (breeding kink, thigh riding) meals fused into one, breeding kink is no longer included | read here: i know

🥞🍷 + 20, 58 (assassin! reader, oblivious! noritoshi) + 13 (thigh riding) + love at first sight + “wait, are you flirting with me?” + “have been since the beginning, thanks for finally noticing.” (BIG BRAIN ENERGY) read here: illusion

✦ gojo satoru

serotonin boost for that lovely anon gojo simp 9487 (i’m going to make this special for you because i love you anon) i was thinking maybe gojo comforts his uni!student s/o? just fluff and some cutesy tootsy to relieve your stress! MEAL FUSED WITH SEVEN

Tokyo by Leat’eq + ice cream shop! au with limited cat themed ice cream, you need to wear cat ears to go order + “nyaa!” read here

🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) read here: divine

🥞🍷 + 29 (established relationship au) + 5 (mutual pining) no longer included + 6 (somnophilia) + fused with other request that isn’t listed here read here: sweet angel

✿ 🥞🍷 + 29 (established relationship au) + 12,15 (praising kink, face sitting) + reader runs into awful ex and gets worshipped by gojo like they deserve (queen tingz) + gojo comfort read here: breathless

(✿ 🥞🍷 + 12 (bed sharing au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 19 (dirty talk) + magdalena bay : killshot + jujutsu tech goes on a trip, gojo and reader ends up sharing rooms and a twin bed) i’ve been outlining this for days but idk...i just can’t seem to form something out of it. i still have it saved but idk if i can still finish, i’ll try my best though. it’s just challenging to write, sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

★✿ 50,1 (mafia au, sugar daddy au) + spice 8,12 (dumbification, praising kink) wow butterfly anon POPPED OFF | read here: earned it

✿ 33 (royal au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 11 (praising kink) read here: fall from grace

✦ choso my MAN

Tokyo by Leat’eq + ice cream shop! au with limited cat themed ice cream, you need to wear cat ears to go order + “nyaa!” + flustered choso + “onii-chan” read here

★🥞 + 17, 34 (fake dating, rentboy au) + 2 (enemies to lovers) + optional wine read here: easy

soulmate au + forbidden relationship MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ inumaki toge

🥞 + 15 (body swap au) + 1 (best friends to lovers) read here: total opposites

🥞 + 10 (sugar mommy au) + 4 (strangers to lovers) BIG BRAIN ENERGY THIS ONE (STRUGGLE PAANIK) it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :(

★🥞 + 64 (canon au) + 5 (mutual pining) + sensitive first kiss with inumaki, them trapped in a room + yuuji as matchmaker uwu + WALL PIN KISS YES SIR + basically hot af inumaki...debating whether i should turn into wine HMMM read here: delicate

✦ naoya zenin 🙄

naoya putting reader back in their place, LONG SCHLONG CLUB read here: acquainted

✿ deity au + virgin sacrifice for naoya + reader with worship kink (DAMN THIS ONE GOT ME TINGLING, its going to be consensual tho, we all have consent kink in this house) read here: true gift

✦ okkotsu yuta

🍷 + 53 (bad boy good girl au) + 8,10 (dumbification) read here: good for you

★🥞🍷 + 65 (both are oblivious) + 5,9 (mutual pining, slow burn) + 6,9,16 (somnophilia, cum play, 34+35) MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✿ 🥞🍷 58, 65 (one of them is oblivious, hanahaki disease on reader) + 5,9 (mutual pining, slow burn) + 12 (praising kink + cockwarming) + clumsy first time sex MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ itadori yuuji

🥞 + 21 (married au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) (STRUGGLE PAANIK) it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ toji fushiguro

★✿ toxic toji YES + enemies to greater enemies + toji railing reader in front of someone they’re seeing because he doesn’t want to see you happy but he doesn’t want to “keep” you either (LOL this is so toji, might tweak a little bit) read here: personal disaster

age gap au + size kink, somnophilia read here: shhh

✦ ryoumen sukuna

🥞 + 2 (arranged marriage) + 2 (enemies to lovers) read here: black magic

55 (reincarnation au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) no longer included + unrequited love + home from war inspired read here: home from war: the ending

✿ 🍷 + 38 + master x servant + degrading, edging, begging (oooh degrading aint my kink but let’s see let’s see) MEAL UNAVAILABLE

233 notes · View notes

a-dragons-journal · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was scrolling through the otherkin tag (as one does) and saw on an ask you answered that you hated DNIs and didn’t want to go into it on that ask. So I’m curious now- why do you hate DNIs? I don’t have a DNI, and I’m not out to try and change your mind. I’ve just never seen anyone say outright that they didn’t like DNIs, so I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

I ended up indeed going into it later, because people kept sending in asks about it, so this tag exists now, but in summary:

- I don't necessarily hate the existence of DNIs, because they can be a useful tool in certain circumstances, but I hate that they're starting to become an expectation/requirement and that it's now considered "creepy/suspicious" in a growing number of communities to not have one. It should not be an obligation to basically list your political stances, discourse opinions, and triggers - you know, things you can be attacked for/people can use to hurt you - in any circumstance, least of all on the Internet where anyone can see it.

- For that matter, putting a list of things that can hurt you in public where anyone can see it and know exactly how to target you if they want to hurt/harass you is a bad idea, whether it's a social requirement or not. Full stop. Unless you are in a relatively small group where you know the intentions of the people there (and often not even then!), it is not a good idea to tell people how to effectively hurt you on the Internet.

- I hate it when people put "[x bigoted group] DNI" at the bottom of actual discussion-type content posts (as opposed to, like, aesthetics and stuff), such as people putting "TERFs DNI" at the bottom of posts about feminism, because a) if you're worried about your post appealing to that group, maybe you should reexamine your post's content, b) I've seen firsthand more than once that those groups, TERFs especially, will purposely put "[x] DNI" at the bottom of their crypto-rhetoric posts in order to turn people's critical thinking skills off and make them more likely to accept the crypto rhetoric (foot-in-the-door tactic), and c) even if it's not intentionally malicious like the last point, it still makes it so the OP's post is suddenly immune to criticism, because "hey this comes off a little transphobic" can be met with "how dare you call me a transphobe?? I said 'TERFs DNI' right there!!1!", which, again, has to do with the whole "turning people's critical thinking skills off" problem.

- On a similar note, I hate this recent trend toward performative activism and "racists/transphobes/homophobes/etc. DNI!1!" feels like another permutation of that; I don’t like people demanding/expecting me to announce all my political opinions right out the gate. It should be my decision whether or not I want to share sensitive information about myself (and if you’re scoffing at the idea of a political opinion being “sensitive information” - if it can get you, again, harassed and attacked by a complete stranger, it’s sensitive information).

- People seem to forget that people can, will, and do lie on their DNIs and bios. Predators will lie about being "under 18” in order to make minors they’re interacting with feel safe and let their guard down. TERFs will lie about “transphobes DNI!” to ensure their crypto rhetoric spreads and gets a foot in the door of trans-supporting people’s thought processes. All “it’s to let the people affected by [bigotry] know I’m safe,” which is something I hear sometimes, really means is that the bigot in question only has to put up a DNI to make the people they’re planning to target lower their guard. There is nothing guaranteeing that someone actually believes what their DNI implies they believe. It’s an illusion of safety that just doesn’t - and, really, can’t - exist on the internet, by the internet’s nature. And people thinking they’re safer than they really are is what gets people hurt because they stopped being careful. I’m not saying people need to (or should) live in fear, but relying on DNIs is not a sustainable solution, imho.

- I hate people using DNIs/BYFs as an alternative to blocklists because it often becomes essentially them forcing other people to curate their internet experience for them, and then getting mad (or hurt) when that doesn't work out for reasons that should be obvious. Especially when you take it to the extreme of trying to regulate anyone who reblogs your posts, which I have seen sometimes - you can't seriously expect people to check the OP of every single person whose post they reblog to make sure they agree with your opinions on fandom discourse; that's untenable and it can only lead to people getting hurt. You are the only person who is - and the only person who can be - responsible for your internet experience. Curate your own space.

- as a minor point, "standard DNI criteria" is becoming a popular phrase and it's frankly a useless phrase because there's no such thing. Beyond "racists/homophobes/transphobes" there's literally no telling what a given person includes in what's "standard" - pro- or anti-ship? SFW agereg/petreg blogs? DDLG? Steven Universe fans? inclusionists or exclusionists? There is no "standard." (But then, I feel like how common that phrase is becoming says something about exactly how performative and empty the trend of DNIs is as a whole at this point in time.)

- also as a minor point, I am frankly just not a fan of how often DNIs put things like "Steven Universe fan" and "neonazi" right next to each other like they're the same level of bad. I recognize consciously that this is not the intention, but it sure does come off that way sometimes. It reminds me a bit too much of those callout posts that have six pages about the person's bad opinions on anime or whatever and only then go "oh yeah and also they sexually abused, threatened, and sent their friends to harass a minor and we have screenshot evidence of all of that. anyway here's three more pages about why their art is bad because they drew a 16-year-old in a crop top one time".

And, let me be very clear here: I do not hate people who have DNIs, nor do I want to act like they're never useful. They are, sometimes! But I do feel they're being misused and they're starting to become an expectation and that's a huge problem, for the same reason that people trying to force everyone to put their age/basic personal information in their bios is a problem - it's a safety concern. I am honestly convinced that at this point, in most circumstances, DNIs are doing more harm than good.

If you want to use a DNI, that's up to you, and it's not like I'm gonna harass people about it ('s why I started that "dni critical" tag, so people could who don't want to read this stuff could avoid it) - but I want people to at least understand the risks they're taking depending on how they go about it. If it's useful to you, then good, I'm genuinely glad! It just concerns me how it's being treated by the larger Internet right now.

(And, of course, that's all just my personal subjective opinion - take what you like, leave what you don't. You're more than welcome to disagree with me; this is not a make-or-break argument for me, just one I have strong feelings about xD)

#dni critical #rani talks #asked and answered #dragons-singing-softly #that was probably more of a soapbox than you bargained for sorry fbdklgjsf #do not @ me about my fandom examples i just grabbed random controversial ones off the top of my head #if that's what you prioritize out of this whole post you have entirely missed the point

42 notes · View notes

scathecraw · 3 years

Text

BBRae Week 2021 - Day 3: Into The Woods

“Summer camp has been so much fun, Rachel. Teether hasn’t cried once since the day after you dropped us off, and Tommy got first place in the obstacle course. You were right, we should have done a camp last year, too.” Melvin chattered excitedly on the office phone while Rachel listened patiently. “They’ve made a bunch of arts and crafts, and the woods here are so cool. They’re really old, and Gar knows so muchabout all the trees and animals and bugs.”

“And who is this Gar, Melvin? A new friendof yours?” Rachel’s emphasis was obvious, and Melvin’s blush was practically audible.

“NO! He’s a counselor. He’s really nice, but he’s really old. Like, 50 or something. You’ll meet him on parent’s day next week.”

Rachel didn’t remember anyone older than the director, a middle aged woman she had spoken to when getting them enrolled and again during drop-off. She suspected Melvin was fibbing to cover her embarrassment, but she brought it on herself by teasing the preteen. “I’m sure I will. Does this mean that you’re going to drag me out into the forest when I come? I thought it was going to be an afternoon of arts and crafts and then some campfire songs, not a forced march.”

“Duh. Arts and crafts are lame. Gar said that next year he’d show us how to whittle, which sounds better than making lanyards.” There was muffled adolescent shouting, and Melvin covered the receiver and yelled back. “I gotta go. We’re going swimming. I’ll call you on Friday. Love you, bye.” She hung up before anything could be said back, and Rachel was left with dead air while Melvin sprinted after her friends, untied shoelaces flailing behind her.

Arriving at the aforementioned “Parent’s Day”, Rachel wasn’t quite sure what to expect. The camp had at first seemed like a good way to get the three adopted children outside instead of rotting their brains, but the sheer noise of a few dozen milling, clamoring kids and groups of socializing parents made her wonder what she had subjected them, and by extension, herself, to. She was late, which probably didn’t help the situation, but she looked around the chaos in an effort to find her own three chaos engines. Instead, she was spotted.

A wild, dirty missile made a high-volume impact with her legs, nearly toppling her and babblingso fast that even Rachel’s practiced ear couldn’t discern what he was saying. She was wobbling and about to fall over when a firm hand caught her upper back and helped her regain her balance. “Teether, dude! I said you could go get her, not try to body slam her.”

Rachel finally planted her feet, acknowledged Teether with a gentle hand on his head, and looked up. And up. They both froze for an instant, but the tanned, blond man recovered first. His slack jaw snapped into a smile, and he said “Hi. You must be Rachel. I’m Gar, one of the counselors here.”

His hand was still on her back and heat radiated from it like afternoon sun. Her face had never fallen into the silly expression his had, but unconscious thought raced before she could regain her composure. ‘Definitely not fifty,’ she thought. “Hello. Yes, I’m Rachel, Teether’s mother.” She peeled Teether from her leg with practiced ease, and he sprang off of her and ran.

Gar realized that his hand still rested behind her, almost possessively, and retreated to a more respectable distance. He chuckled, nervously. “Heh. Um, Melvin and Tommy are with their friends, still, but we should probably get them. Ms. Waller asked me to show you around – she said you had just moved to the area?” It wasn’t a question, but he phrased it like it was. They began walking back towards the milling crowd of parents, children, and quite possibly enough noise to drown out a jet engine.

“Yes, it’s our first summer here. She mentioned that most of the kids made this an annual activity, but I didn’t think we’d be so strange as to warrant a personal detail.”

“Oh it’s nothing like that, it’s just that there’s not really many other summer camps around, and ‘cause we go from K-12, we get pretty much everyone. A lot of the other parents already know everybody. You’re not strange, just… new.” His eyes never left her, even as they began walking.

Back with the crowds, Melvin and a gaggle of similarly aged girls watch the two of them. One of them nodded decisively and turned to Melvin. “Okay. They’re too cute together. Look at how awkward they’re being.”

Anotherhuffed a little. “They’re just staring at each other. They should be holding hands or something, right?”

Melvin’s eyes narrowed critically. “It’s been like 10 minutes and they aren’t kissing yet. Gar’s probably too much of a nerd to do anything. We need to do something to make sure they know how perfect for each other they are.”

“Like what? They aren’t going to start making out in the middle of the crowd.”

An evil smirk crept across Melvin’s face. “Maybe not in the middle of the crowd, but what if they were all alone in the woods? Then they’d have no excuse not to!”

A look of awe crossed her companions’ faces. “That’s evil. I love it.”

But the smirk fell, half-formed plot evaporating. “But how could we get them out there alone? It can’t be anything serious, or else Rachel will ground me forever, and I bet she won’t even go unless we can trick her into it.”

“Could you just tell her you feel sick?”

“No.” Melvin shook her head slowly. “Then she’d either stay with me or just take me home early.”

One, heretofore silent, chimed in. “I think I know what we can do. But Mel, you’re going to have to make a lanyard.” She giggled at the disgusted look, and said “C’mon, we only have like 15 minutes before they start wondering where we are.”

Across the crowd and a million miles away, Garfield and Rachel were, in fact, being tremendously awkward as they watched the kids run and play. Gar fumbled his words and couldn’t decide to stare at her eyes, the curve of her neck, or decidedly anywhere except her. Rachel was the opposite. She answered in short, monosyllabic whispers and swallowed, trying to ease her desperately dry throat.

“So, uh, you said you just moved here! Do you have a job, er, of course you do, unless you don’t! That’s fine, too! Nothing wrong with… that. Yeah.” He trailed off, before gamely trying again. “So what do you do when you’re not, y’know, coming to summer camps?”

Rachel took a deep breath and centered herself. Gar started. “I’m not, like, annoying you, am I? I’m sorry, I tend to blabber -”

“No. I’m just… a little off-kilter. I’m a curator of antiquities at the museum.”

“That is so cool. Gar’s eyes were like dinner plates. “I love the museum! I always wanted to volunteer there, but I never feel like I have time between summers here and planning classes during the year.”

“Oh, you’re a teacher? Grade school or high school?”

“High school and occasionally some classes at the community college. I figured I was already teaching AP and college bio isn’t much different. I’m sure the kids get tired of me after the sixth year, though, heh.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, uncomfortably warm even for a summer afternoon.

“I suppose they wouldn’t let you teach so many years if you weren’t good at the job. Not that biology is my area of expertise.” She clarified, hearing his unspoken question. “I studied history and preservation, so a natural history museum is certainly a big change.”

“Wow, I bet. Still, nobody does what they expected to when they were in college. I got a bachelor’s in Environmental Science, but it turns out most of those jobs are just telling corporations what they want to hear.”

Rachel leveled him with a newly assessing gaze. “Believe it or not, so are quite a few jobs in archaeology. It’s what put me off of the field.”

“But hey, teaching led me to Jump and to Lake Titan Camp, so I can’t complain.”

While the two nominal adults conversed, a far more intricate conversation was happening in the craft cabin. Kole, a pink haired co-conspirator of Melvin’s, was creating a half finished lanyard in pink and purple while the rest strategized. “Okay, so I need to throw her off so she’ll agree. The pink and purple color scheme is good – pink for me, purple for her, but I need something to knock her off her game.”

“You could tell her something that surprised her, maybe. But what?”

Realization dawned. “Okay. This is a little mean, maybe, but I was planning on talking to her about it anyway. I know just what to say. Kole, how’s the lanyard coming?”

“I’ve got it to the perfect length. Just long enough that you might ‘Need a little while to finish it, pretty please.’” She held up the dangling lengths of string. “Everything ready? We’re running out of time.”

“Now or never. Let’s go.” Melvin took a deep breath and led them to the doorway.

Garfield and Rachel were deep in conversation. The initial awkwardness had faded, and while there were still sparks flying whenever they made eye contact, it was more a static buzz than the almost painful live wire sensation of their first glances. At some point they had migrated closer to where Teether and Tommy’s two groups had merged into a supercrowd of children all making noise, forcing them to stand closer to one another to be heard. They were in this huddle, all focus on each other except for both of their frequent check-in glances to the children. Rachel had dipped her toe into a hint of vulnerability to test the waters, quietly and without fanfare explaining that she had adopted all three of them from the same orphanage she had found herself aging out of.

Gar reciprocated. “That’s really incredible. I was adopted pretty young by some family friends. I know how complicated that sort of relationship can be, but it’s doing something amazing for all three of them.”

Melvin, seeing their closeness, hesitated, just a bit. She was messing with fate, a little. But she was certain it was for a good cause. And it was now or never, they were already cutting it close to “Shared Activity Time” for her age group. “Umm. Rachel.”

“Yes, Melvin?” Rachel saw that Mel was nervous. Melvin was never nervous.

“I want to finish a project for you, but won’t have time later. So, uh, I need you to find something else to do. During the Activity Time, I mean. I just want to finish making this. Please, M-mom?”

Time stopped for Rachel. She had adopted them six years ago, and there had never been a time when Melvin had consciously called her “Mom”. Forms asking for “Mother’s Name”, sure. Mother’s day celebrations, absolutely. Even a few mostly-asleep, teary pleas, but never, never while Melvin was in control of her faculties.

But while time had stopped for Rachel, it marched onward for everyone else. Melvin held her breath and waited for long, tense seconds, but Rachel didn’t seem to be coming back to her senses, so she hurriedly spat out “Okayloveyouseeyousoon,” and fled back to the safety of her friends.

Gar, too, was frozen. Not to the same degree, nor for the same reasons, but he felt like he had intruded on something intimate that he had no business being a part of. He looked around, helplessly as Rachel gaped. After several seconds of silence, he couldn’t not do something. “Uhh. Rachel? You… okay?” More frozen immobility. He waved a hand in front of her face. “Rae? You there? Do I need to get a doctor?”

She seized his hand. “Did… did she just call me “Mom”? Or did I have a stroke?”

“Yeah, ouch. She did. I’m guessing this was new?”

“I… Yes. She’s never… What… what do I do? Was she angry I didn’t answer? Where did she go?” Rachel began looking around for her.

“Whoa, slow down. She’s with her friends. She wasn’t mad, it seemed like she was nervous, but not scared. And what you do is let her come to you and talk to her like you always do, and just make sure she knows you’re okay with it. As long as you are okay with it, right?”

“Of course. I just thought...” Rachel trailed off.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about! She loves you and just told you how she feels. That’s a good thing. Let’s give her a chance to do whatever she’s doing. The rest of the kids are about to go do an activity, so we have time.”

“I think I need to get away from the crowd for a minute. I can’t believe I’m asking this, but is it alright if we just go for a walk?”

“Of course.” Gar’s grip had at some point shifted to be holding her hand back, and he led her down a dirt path towards a grove of trees. “This path is quiet and not too hard.” Her sudden harsh look had him follow up. “You’re not really wearing the shoes for hiking, Rae.”

“Hmf. And since when did I say you could call me Rae, Garfield?”

He looked stricken. “I am so sorry. I dunno what I was thinking, Ra-chel. Rachel.”

She narrowed an eye. “Rae is… acceptable, as far as diminutives go. Just don’t make a habit of it in public.”

“Cross my heart. Hey, at least being a little mad at me put your mind off of Melvin, right?”

“And now it’s right back. So very helpful,” she deadpanned.

“Easy come, easy go, right?” His smile grew a little. “I don’t wanna pry or anything, but is it really that surprising? She said you were her mom like, a dozen times during camp.”

“I suppose not. It caught me very off-guard, though. Teether and Tommy sort of switch between Rachel and Mom, but Melvin’s never really seemed like she even wanted that sort of, I don’t know, ‘Official’ title for me.”

“Listen, the whole ‘mom’ thing isn’t as scary as you’re making it out to be. You’re already giving her the kind of love a mom is supposed to, and she loves you. She talks about all the time with stars in her eyes. Being adopted doesn’t make her less your daughter. Rita Farr isn’t any less my mom for taking me in when I was eight, and Marie Logan isn’t any more or less important to me just because she’s not around.”

Rachel took a breath and sighed it out. “Thank you. That does make it easier.” They walked in silence for a short time. “Wait, Rita Farr, as in the movie star? As in, the philanthropist and art collector, married to Steve Dayton?”

He blushed a little. “Whoops, probably shouldn’ta dropped that so casually, I guess. Yeah. Steve and Rita adopted me when my parents died. It’s not always easy, but I love ‘em.” He watched her reaction carefully, hoping she wouldn’t suddenly start treating him differently for having such well-known parents.

Rachel schooled her face after having that bombshell dropped on her. “Well, if we ever meet we’ll be able to talk about some historic pieces she has that I wrote papers on.”

A beat passed, then Gar’s loud laugh broke relative silence of the forest. “Aw man, she is gonna love you.”

And just like that, the tension was broken. All the concern, the lack of balance, everything fell away, and the static buzz of easy conversation punctuated by something just a little too close to intimate for an average friendship was back.

They wandered together down the shady paths, miles away and only a few trees distant from the campground. Rachel didn’t notice the distance she had walked on the formerly dreaded forest hike, and Garfield forgot to try quite so hard with his jokes and wise cracks. They walked, hand in hand and only somewhat realizing how close they were to one another, shoulders nearly touching.

The spell was eventually broken, as they always are. They rounded a final bend, seeing in the distance the campground they had left, what, less than an hour ago? And the reality that they had left behind when they entered the sun-shafted canopies woke them up, and they found that really, their hands were quite slick. Had they been clasped together the whole time? And Rachel, especially, was starting to sweat from the heat and the walk. Garfield was suddenly nervous, after all, he never talked this much, not without making a fool of himself.

But even after emerging from that hazy dream, they held on, gently rising out of the fog and into the real world so no sudden movements could disrupt the memory, the closeness that two almost strangers that fit together like complementary puzzle pieces had shared.

It wasn’t even fully dispelled when their hands slipped apart to be wiped on cargo shorts or dark jeans, though the almost hidden flight from behind a few low-branched trees of blonde hair and untied shoelaces and quiet giggle quickly sobered them.

Garfield turned. “Was that -?”

“Melvin. Oh, that little brat, she is too damn smart for her own good. I would put money on her scheming to get us alone.” Rachel fumed and her face tightened into a mask of cold anger. “I can’t believe that she would manipulate me like this! How could she – How could she finally call me -” and the mask broke, shifting from anger to near tears in seconds.

Gar panicked. “Whoa, hold on, no. She’s not that cruel, I know it and so do you. We’re probably missing something. You just said you can’t believe she would do this – she probably didn’t. Rae I promise you, there’s got to be an explanation that makes sense.”

Rachel took a deep breath, followed by another, centering herself. “I am going to get to the bottom of this. Where would she be doing this “project” she made up?”

“The craft cabin. I’ll take you there, but I guarantee you it’s not as bad as it might sound.”

It was like the crowd parted for them without even reacting. No one looked at the worried counselor or at the steely featured parent, but nonetheless they found their path almost unimpeded. Gar held up a hand just outside the door. “Let me get you two some privacy. Please.”

“Fine. Do it.” Terse and unhappy, Rachel’s displeasure was apparent in her voice, and it made Garfield wince.

He opened the door to see five preteen girls, huddled and tittering. At least until they saw him and his serious frown. Then their eyes went wide, and they looked to Melvin in a panic. “Out, girls. Clear the room. Not you, Melvin.” He stopped her when she tried to take shelter in the middle of the pack. He turned to follow them, and glanced back almost pityingly, then shook his head and exited.

The girls all ducked their heads when they saw Rachel just outside the cabin and hurried off, racing to be the first around the corner and away from the ticking time bomb.

Garfield simply nodded, and left her to it. Rachel entered the cabin and saw Melvin almost trembling, and it broke her heart. She had worked up a head of steam on the walk and the wait, but seeing her precious daughter actually afraid stopped any real anger and left only a bitter emptiness.

Rachel wasn’t quite sure what to do with her hands. She settled on a vague, open armed shrug gesture. “Why, Mel? Was it just a prank? Just a way to manipulate me?”

Tears brimmed in Melvin’s eyes. “No, I just wanted to give you guys a chance to talk alone. I’m sorry I lied, I really did try on the lanyard, but I’m just bad at them so I had Kole do it. I’m sorry, I am.”

“What? What lanyard? Melvin, I don’t care if you had a friend help with a lanyard! I just can’t believe that you would call me your mom, just to trick me into talking to someone. I can’t tell you how badly that hurts me. I… I love you too much for that.”

“What!No, nononono, Mom, I promise that wasn’t a trick. I promise. I was gonna talk to you about it, but I just – I thought that if I – I thought that maybe if I just did it you’d just let me and maybe you’d talk to him and then it everything would be perfect. I promise. I love you, Mom. I do. And I was just trying to maybe make you not spend all your time watching me and talk to him. He’s really cool, and I could tell you like him, and he’s completely in love with you, and you’re perfect for each other. I was just trying to help you be happy!” She sobbed, breathless.

Rachel froze, then instinctively wrapped her daughter in her arms and let her cry. “Mel, you don’t need to worry about me. I am happy, I promise. I don’t need you to try to trick me into being happy. Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to say I’m not mad, but I get it. You don’t have to trick me into talking to, what did you call him, “really old, like 50 years old” guys? If we talk, we talk. That’s how adults work.”

“No, it’s not! I’ve never seen you go on a date, and you just ignore people when they try to talk to you. I know it was dumb, but I had to try something ‘cause otherwise you’d just give him that serious face until he ran away, and he’s perfect for you if you’d just give him a chance!”

“Mel. Mel, okay. I promise. I will give him a chance. But you don’t need to be worried about me. I don’t need a twelve year old playing matchmaker. You should be doing kid things, not bad romcom plots.”

“*SNRK*. They’re not bad. They’re sweet. And you like them, otherwise you wouldn’t have so many of them.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and glowered.

Rachel internally cursed Kori. “If you say so. Now let’s sit here for a minute, then we can go wash your face and you can go hand out with your friends. And I will have a talk with Garfield, and you will not stick your nose into my dating life. Understand?”

“Yes, mom.”

It still startled Rachel to hear that coming from Melvin, but it also warmed her heart. She hadn’t even known she wanted it until it happened, but it was like a spoken guarantee that she really was doing things right, and her little family really was working.

They sat together and Melvin showed her the lanyard that she had made via Kole. Rachel put it on the silver chain she wore around her neck and let it rest beside her heart promising mostly to herself that it would be kept safe at home. Then, when Mel had calmed down, they headed to the bathroom where Mel cleaned the tear tracks from her dirt-smudged face and rinsed her red rimmed eyes. Rachel gave her a final kiss on the forehead, and sent her off.

Gar found her standing there, staring off into space against the wall of the concrete shack. He leaned against it and slid down to sit around the corner and next to her. “So.”

“So,” she said back.

“Not saying it just to confuse you?” He glanced at her, gauging her reaction.

“No. But she wasn’t against confusing me.”

His eyebrow cocked. “Not mad?”

“Still mad. Still going to be grounded, probably. But she did it out of love.”

“Y’know, I don’t want to say I told you so, but...”

“But you totally want to say ‘I told you so,’” she finished for him.

“Yep. So what now?”

“Now, I guess I do what I was going to do before we had all this to deal with,” she said, the soul of nonchalance.

“What’s that?” he said, and when she didn’t respond, he stood up and looked around the corner. “Rae?”

“This.” with only his head around the corner, she turned and kissed him, gentle and sweet, and far too short for either of them. “I’d like to go out sometime. I want to take you to a behind the scenes at the museum, and I’ll let you choose the restaurant.”

His head spun and his eyes were out of focus. His thoughts were like molasses and he could barely get out the word “Okay.” before she was gone, a little bounce in her step.

AO3 FF.net

#bbraeweek21 #bbrae #fic

42 notes · View notes

thecandlesticksfromlesmis · 3 years

Note

Hi. This might be a weird ask to send (and if tumblr somehow glitches and its not anon don't publish it, please, I'm not ready at this time for people I know to see it). But I feel I need to talk about it to someone and I thought about you.

I've realized I really like male pronouns/gendered words. I have no indication of gender in my social media bios at this time, so people guess sometimes. I was referred to as Sir the other day, and I really, really liked that. Sometimes, people refer to me by the name of the (male) fictional character in my username, and I like that too, a lot. I am afab and look it, so rarely does this happen in real life, unless I've got my hair covered and particularly baggy clothes on. But it has happened once or twice, and it made me so happy (though I pretended to my family that I was smiling so much because I found the situation hilarious).

Looking back, I've always wished I'd been born a boy, from a young age, related to male characters much more than female, and disliked stereotypically feminine clothing and activities. Later, I convinced myself that all this was probably internalized misogyny, but now, I'm not so sure.

But I'm not sure either way. I don't hate my name, or she/her, or my body. (Though I do rather wish I was taller and stronger). I am mostly indifferent to them.

But hearing "thank you sir" made me so happy. Being called by a male name felt warm. I desire very much to hear it again.

I don't really know why I'm sending this, or what I expect you to say, but I just wanted to tell someone, I guess. Someone who won't argue or say "that's stupid" or laugh at me.

You're a really cool person and I love your blogs! I hope you're having a great day or night!

Hello friend! 💖

I want to tell you that anyone who argues with you or laughs at you or calls you stupid for having very valid and important thoughts about gender is no true friend or family. I'm sure you know this, but it never hurts to hear it again.

You've made a lot of important and interesting observations in terms of your gender and I think it's awesome that you're checking in with yourself and seriously thinking through the way everything makes you feel. If you are looking for advice, I'd say keep doing exactly what you're doing. It's okay to decide your gender is one thing, then feel something strongly later and decide to change it up!

What I really want to tell you though is I have felt so much of what you've mentioned here. I've felt the warmth and happiness that comes along with being called "sir" by a stranger, I too related to male characters and rejected feminine stereotypes. I especially know the internal monologue of "do I feel this way because of internalized misogyny or because I'm genderqueer in some way?"

The answer for me was that I'm trans, but obviously we can have similar experiences and come to different conclusions. Like I said before, the questioning you're doing is great and if you want, keep it up!

Lastly, I hope you know that the statement "I don't hate my name, or she/her, or my body" doesn't exclude you from any gender identity. Dysphoria is not a requirement to be trans or genderqueer or anything like that. So don't focus on the "but I don't"s of the situation, focus on the "It feels right when"s.

Like, "It feels right when people call me sir!" or "It feels right when people use this masculine name!". To me, it's a far more positive experience when I focus on what feels right rather than discounting my own experiences by saying something like "But I don't hate my name so maybe nothing is actually wrong." I hope that makes sense! Obviously, this a trick that works well for me and if it doesn't for you, that's totally fine!

I'm very very happy for you and all of these things you've figured out. If you are looking for a label that feels right for you, I hope you find it and feel at home with it. If you're not looking for a label, that's perfectly fine too! Feel how you feel, that's all that matters.

If you want to talk more, feel free to send me a DM or another ask! Have a lovely day! ✨💕

#queer stuff #trans stuff #gender stuff #ask #long post

34 notes · View notes

five-rivers · 4 years

Text

Stars Aligned Chapter 2

Here’s the thing. Danny knew this was a dumb decision. At least as dumb as stepping into the ghost portal (but at least he’d gotten some nifty powers out of that, hey?). Whatever reason his bio-dad had for chucking him out the door within days of his birth couldn’t be good. Putting himself within reach of the man… Yeah. Not his brightest thought.

(Not to mention the wizards. And witches. That was so weird, how they had two different names for essentially the same thing. Then again… actor, actress… Why were people so weird?)

On the other hand, twin brother. Twin brother who had to live with aforementioned baby-abandoning bio-dad. Twin brother who wasn’t allowed to visit America. Or, Danny suspected, a family of squibs.

Yeah.

So, here he was. Getting everything in order for a wizard passport and wizard international travel, because bio-family refused to even look at an airport.

Danny had a suspicion that, based on how they spelled the word and a few other comments in that particular letter, that they weren’t entirely clear on what an airport was.

Fun.

On the other hand, in comparison to the actual, normal, legal passport he’d gotten, just in case bio-family left him somewhere, wizard passports were much, much easier to get. The wait times were practically nonexistent. He could, in theory, get the passport on the same day he traveled. All that was needed was proof he was a wizard and his adoption papers.

Of course, ‘proof he was a wizard’ actually meant ‘wand.’ Wands being something they used as personal ID, despite the fact that they were a) sticks, and b) didn’t actually carry any personally identifiable information. Sure, Jack said that they were somehow connected to their owners, but unless there were, like, giant books of details about everyone’s wands at every place that would, conceivably, need ID, and had people trained to identify all those tiny little characteristics… Danny just couldn’t see how it would work.

Danny’s current theory was that all wizards were just insane, which meant that his twin would most likely fit right in with the rest of Danny’s family, right as soon as Danny figured out how to legally kidnap him.

(No, Danny didn’t have a ghostly Obsession, and it definitely wasn’t family related. He was only half-ghost, after all. Why do you ask?)

Anyway. Wizard passport. Wizard ID. Wizard sticks.

Wands.

Wands meant a nerve-wracking trip to the nearest wizarding town with Jack. Evidently, he’d lived there a couple of years after his parents sent him away from Britain when he was around fourteen because of ‘the war.’

Abruptly, many of Jack’s stories about his childhood made more sense.

(It had always been something of a joke between Jazz and Danny to try and figure out what ‘the war’ was supposed to be, and if Jack’s parents had just… Conned him into thinking he’d eaten horse meat. For some reason. Even if the Fentons hadn’t seemed like that kind of people, no matter how eccentric.)

(Also, evidently Jazz and Danny had never met Jack’s biological parents, who were not named Fenton, although his adopted mother was also a witch.)

(Why was everything so complicated?)

The “wizarding community” was a small town accessible only by a train line invisible to ‘no-majs.’ And also flying brooms. Which wizards used. Danny had seen the train before, not realizing that he wasn’t supposed to. Several times. Usually while flying to Wisconsin to deal with whatever Vlad had done that week.

If Danny was a wizard, was Vlad? Was being half-ghost somehow tied up in being magical? What did that mean for Dani?

(Hey, maybe this whole affair could be used to bring Dani into the family safely. Who was to say that he didn’t have a secret twin sister?)

Danny could admit that the town itself, which had almost a Ghost Zone vibe with how all the architecture seemed to be from fifty plus to a hundred years ago and also the physics breaking magic, was sort of cool. It was… cute, he guessed. He didn’t really like how everyone was staring at Jack, their clothes were just as weird, but it wasn’t a new thing. People always stared at Jack.

That’s what happened when you wore hazard-orange jumpsuits twenty-four seven.

The shops all had names out of a fantasy novel, and at one point they got turned around and wound up on a residential street where they had to ask for directions, but eventually they made it to ‘Willoughby’s Wand Emporium.’

The interior of Willoughby’s Wand Emporium reminded Danny strongly of a shoe store. The shelves were all lined with boxes of approximately that size, and the employees all carried measuring tape. It also smelled like a shoe store: musty and dry, with a hint of polish. Or maybe it was wood varnish? Or some kind of paint.

A young woman bounced up. “Hi, how can we help you today? Replacement wand?”

“First time, actually,” said Jack.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said the woman. “You’re just so tall for your age.”

“I’m fourteen,” said Danny.

The woman began to turn red.

“He was missed,” said Jack. “It happens.” He smiled, but it looked far more strained than usual.

“Oh,” said the woman. “Ahem. Well, if you’ll come right this way, I can start taking measurements, and start trying out wands. The wand chooses the wizard, they say!”

“Okay,” said Danny, shrugging. That was… interesting. Were the wands sentient? Did that somehow make them acceptable IDs?

Seemed really weird to keep sentient things stored in boxes.

… Said the kid who stored sentient beings in a soup thermos.

A really high-tech soup thermos.

Didn’t make it better.

Except he didn’t keep them in the thermos indefinitely. Except for Dan.

Danny didn’t know if the wizards kept the wands in boxes indefinitely, either. Maybe he should stop assuming things. That had gotten him in trouble with ghosts more than once.

The woman took her measuring tape from where it hung around her shoulders, held it out in front of herself, and promptly dropped it. It did not fall.

As basic as levitation was for ghosts, it was really weird to see a human do it. (Especially when it always took so much concentration for him to levitate things other than himself—Hence why he never really used the ability in battle.)

The measuring tape flitted around Danny’s head, shoulders, arms, and body, taking measurements. He had to sit on his reflexes hard to prevent himself from trying to catch it or knock it out of the air.

He was so nervous. Was it normal to be nervous?

The measuring tape snaked back through the air to the woman, who smiled. “Alright,” she said, “we can start with that. Uh, to explain the process, we usually start out with wands in the appropriate size range and try and zero in on the ones that respond best to you from there.” She flicked her own wand, and several thin boxes slid themselves off the shelves. “We use a wide variety of wand woods from a variety of wandmakers. Just about any tree that grows in North America is probably represented here.” She paused. “Except for palm trees.”

“That makes sense,” said Danny. Palm trees were quite different from other trees.

“Alright. Let’s start with pine. The core of this one is dragon heartstring—Harvested humanely, of course!”

“Core?” said Danny, latching on to the familiar word even as he regarded the wand itself dubiously.

“Yes. As with our woods, we also stock a wide range of wand cores. Each wand has a core made of a small part of a magical creature. Dragon heartstring, unicorn hair, and phoenix feather are the standard ones… But that standardization is rather British. We have a few others available. Thunderbird tail feather—Only taken during molt. Wampus cat hair. Dittany. Rougarou hair. Jackalope antler… Those are the more common ones, though we do have others. Even some kneazle whisker, although most people don’t want those.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, they tend not to be very strong. But sheer power isn’t everything. Some prefer control, need lower power output… or are worried about accidents while they’re learning. We do see some adult learners every now and then.”

That actually sounded sort of appealing to Danny, but he supposed he’d better go about this normally. At least at first.

He picked up the pine wand and immediately dropped it.

“Ow,” he said.

“Ow?” repeated the woman. “Oh,” she said, catching sight of the burn on his hand. “That’s… not supposed to happen.”

“Y’know,” said Danny, conversationally, “I’ve only held, like, two magical things in my life, and both of them have damaged my hands. Is this, like, a common thing, or am I just ridiculously unlucky.”

“Second one, I think,” said the woman. “Cynthia’s good at minor healing charms. I’m going to go get her. Okay? Okay.”

Shortly thereafter, phoenix feather wands were also eliminated as a possibility, not because they burned Danny, but because they seemed intent on burning everything else around him. Pine wands were also a definite no-go (“Don’t worry about the lifespan thing,” said the woman, “that’s a myth.”). As was everything but elder, apple, pear, hornbeam, thorn, and yew (this list got another mention of myths from the shop assistant).

At this point, the shop owner, Mrs. Willoughby, was drawn out from the back room to observe the mess Danny was making.

“My,” she said, “I haven’t seen anyone have this much trouble in a while. Heather, why don’t you go get some of the specialty cores.”

“I thought the unicorn was working well,” protested the woman who’d been helping Danny so far. She winced as Danny picked up a new wand and exploded a light. “Comparatively.”

“Yes, we could probably eventually find a unicorn hair wand that would work for him, but all things considered… I feel like we should explore other avenues.” She sniffed. “Nothing associated with fire. Perhaps kelpie mane?”

“I’ll check,” said Heather.

Kelpie mane, it turned out, did the same sort of thing as phoenix tail feather when it came to Danny. Only with a lot more water involved.

“I didn’t think that would work, anyway,” said Mrs. Willoughby.

“Then why,” said Danny, wringing water out of his shirt, “did you have me try it?”

“Oh, cases like you greatly improve our understanding of wandlore,” said Mrs. Willoughby. “You’re not likely to have noticed this yet, but the population of wizards and witches is so small compared to the no-maj population that everyone who gets very far in a profession has to be a bit of an innovator. I’m recording this for future reference, and I’ll be looking forward to seeing what you do in life. If anything. It would be very helpful to me if you became famous.”

“Hard pass on that,” said Danny.

“Or at least come back at some point.”

“I’ll consider it,” said Danny. “But, like, we were really hoping to do other things today, so maybe…” He made a circular motion with his hand. “Or at least, ugh, I don’t know. I feel like everything you give me is trying to kill me.”

It was a very familiar feeling, and a very unwelcome one, nonetheless.

“We really aren’t,” said Mrs. Willoughby. “But perhaps… from now on, we’ll limit to the woods to the Rosaceaes. The others tend to be called unlucky. Well, except for the hornbeam. Is there anything you’re singularly passionate about?”

Singularly passionate? “Not really,” said Danny, who did not think about ghosts or helping people or space. He shifted, uncomfortable, and squelched.

Screw it. He was supposedly a wizard, now, right?

He phased the water off himself.

“Oh my god!” shouted Heather. “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Uh,” said Danny. “No?”

“Calm down, Heather. Don’t act like you’ve never seen accidental magic before.”

“Not with a teenager doing it!”

They were now attracting a crowd. Yay.

“He’s not trained, yet,” said Mrs. Willoughby, unconcerned. “Don’t be rude.”

“Yeah, can we get back on track, here?”

After a few more tries, Mrs. Willoughby had determined that the wood that reacted the least badly to Danny was hawthorn. Then she sent Heather into the storage room to fetch more.

“I don’t know why we even have these,” said Heather, under her breath, carrying several boxes marked with stamps that read ‘THESTRAL.’

“Because some people have trauma, Heather.”

“He’s a teenager. I seriously doubt he has deep personal experiences with death.”

“Wow, way to assume, Heather,” said another shop assistant, who was passing by with a far-too-curious customer.

“Here,” said Mrs. Willoughby, handing Danny a box. “Try this one. It’s hawthorn.”

With some suspicion, Danny slid the cover off the box and gingerly picked up the wand inside.

It didn’t do anything like what the other wands had. Instead, the slender length of wood gave him a faint echo of the feeling he got when he was on an emotional high and engaging in either extreme mischief or obsession-adjacent activities (because he did not have a real, ghostly, capital-O Obsession).

Danny declined to hold it with all five fingers, lest he be overcome with mania.

Yes, he was paranoid. But when touching things can go as badly for you as they did for Danny, paranoia was justified.

“Oh, it looks like you’ve found your match,” said Mrs. Willoughby, clapping.

With the ease of practice, Danny did not let any trace of horror or unease show on his face. He ignored the surge of glee from the wand, and carefully placed it back in the box.

Yeah. He needed a wand for passport purposes, but there was no way he was going to use that. He’d just fake magic with ghost powers. It had been working out okay so far.

What was the worst that could happen?

A rather relieved Jack paid for the wand, and they made their way, slowly, to the government building.

“So,” said Jack. “You want to save getting those beginner magic manuals for another day?”

“Absolutely,” said Danny. He wondered if his twin had gone through anything even remotely like this and if it was really worth all this trouble to meet a person he would have basically nothing in common with other than blood.

Blood that likely meant less than usual, considering that his was diluted with ectoplasm. A fact he would have to hide. With no allies or back up. In England.

(Again, this whole endeavor was not his greatest idea.)

Draco supervised the house-elves as they cleaned out the room next to his own, feeling rather blank. He had campaigned vigorously for his twin to come, but now that he was…

The boy, for all that he was as much a Malfoy as Draco, was an American for all intents and purposes. What did Americans even like? What did they call their bastardized version of Quidditch? Would Deneb even know about wizard games? According to the woman from the agency, he’d been raised as a muggle by those squibs he’d been placed with.

Slowly but surely, Draco’s heart sank. He had no idea what his twin would be like. Deneb, despite being his brother, would essentially be a stranger.

He was beginning to understand why his mother was so angry at his father.

#danny phantom #dp/hp crossover #dp/hp twin au #stars aligned

136 notes · View notes

soulmate-game · 4 years

Text

Not related to any other prompts

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

Day 4: Habits

Not screwed~

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette swung through the Gotham streets, shadows playing over her maroon-and-black biker’s jacket and the occasional street light glinting off of the chunky maroon goggles she used to obscure her identity.

“Help!”

A quick change of course with her yo-yo, and the teen was hurtling in a new direction. One black-gloved hand came up to touch the spot on her specialized goggles that covered her ear, protecting it from not only weapons but also anything that might utilize sound against her.

“I’m deviating. Two streets to the north, woman yelling for help. Checking it out.”

It also doubled as her communicators.

A click sounded in her ear, admitting the professional, clipped voice of Oracle. “Copy that. I’m gonna see if I can get a look for you first— aha. Barely in view of a street cam. Looks legit, I can only see two aggressors though. Might be more out of sight. Sending Batman your way just in case, Ladybird.”

Marinette grinned, landing silently on a rooftop. As quickly yet quietly as she could, she snuck over to the ledge. “This is my first patrol with you guys, but I’m no amateur,” she retorted softly before peering over the edge of the building. Immediately, she scowled. “Shit. Trafficking ring, most likely. I’m counting eleven hostiles, five women tied up. They just knocked out the one that I heard.”

“Good thing I sent Batman. ETA three minutes.”

Marinette nodded, reaching up to turn the volume on her comms down so that it wouldn’t distract her too much before jumping down. Three minutes was enough time for her to start to make a dent without being in too much danger of something happening before her backup could arrive. Considering this was her first time in Gotham, nobody was quite expecting a tiny woman in a maroon and black motorcycle jacket, maroon high tech goggles that curled around her entire head, and knee-high black boots with charcoal gray armor down the front to land on their leader’s shoulder and knock him out with a yo-yo to the head.

But also, this was Gotham. They shouldn’t have been surprised, either.

Leader down, Marinette focused her attention on the guys that were the most heavily armed, bringing out a second yo-yo to speed up her progress. She was three thugs down and in the middle of swinging a rifle away from its owner when a familiar large shadow dropped down to join her.

The appearance of the Bat garnered much more fear, forcing the traffickers to panic and lose a lot of their combative edge. Seeing as Batman was fresher for the fight than she was, Marinette decided to take a pseudo-break to get the women a little farther from the action. She was just pulling the sixth girl, the one she had heard scream, over to the group when one of the few remaining conscious thugs snuck up behind her, gun aimed and finger on the trigger.

But Marinette was faster, having heard the guy scramble to get behind her. She spun, kicking the pistol out of his hand and grabbing it out of the air. Not having the time to grab her yo-yos from off of her hip, she adjusted her grip and slammed the handle of the gun against the guy’s head before tossing the weapon away. It was too much of a risk for misfire if she tried that move again, once was already risky. The guy shook his head, staggering back with nothing but rage and desperation fueling him as he tried again to land a hit on the small vigilante.

Marinette dodged, burying her fist in his gut. The man retched, but swallowed his vomit and tried again. Marinette sidestepped his sloppy attack and slammed an elbow on his back, forcing him to collapse to the ground. She could see he was still awake though, and scrambling for another weapon. So Ladybird raised her foot, prepared to give the guy one last hit to knock him out.

But she was yanked back by a firm hand on her shoulder, upsetting her balance just enough to make her put both feet solidly on the ground and half her attack. She whipped her head back, seeing that it was, indeed, Batman who had stopped her.

All the other thugs were out and restrained.

“Justice, not vengeance,” Batman grumbled as soon as she looked at him. Marinette barely bit back a squeak of frustration, ripping her shoulder away and slamming her foot down just in time to stop the guy from stabbing into her boot. The steel toe would have protected her, but still.

“Batman, he has a knife!” She growled right back at him, finally landing that kick and knocking him out. “I really appreciate that faith, you know. Thinking I’m gonna cross the line in such a simple situation,” she snapped back at him sarcastically, making sure he saw her furrowed brows even through her goggles before crouching down to tie the guy up with her zip ties.

“Sorry,” he grumbled after all the victims had been taken by the ambulance and the criminals by the police. They stood on a rooftop, ladybird staring down at the towering figure of Batman with her arms crossed. “It’s a habit.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” she replied, shaking her head. “I’m not Damian.”

Batman sighed, crossing his own arms. Unknowingly, that caused the two of them to be holding the exact same pose, down to the very position of shoulder blades and feet, as one another. Twins of differing height, to an outsider. A parent and his child, to anyone who was closer.

“I know that—“

“And Damian isn’t Damian Al-Ghul anymore either,” she interrupted him, finally dropping her arms to take a few steps forward. “He’s well and truly Damian Wayne. It’s been seven years since he was that abused, hurt, ultra-violent ten year old that he was when Talia first dropped him off with you. The fact that stopping him in mid fight like that is still a habit to you is a problem.”

Batman slowly exhaled through his nose, trying to remain patient with the daughter he had only had in his life for the past three years. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes with her that he made with the others, but just like always he somehow found something new to screw up.

“I haven’t had to say it to him often. Hardly at all in recent years. But seeing you looming over a man who was already on the ground brought back that reflex.”

Marinette nodded, but her jaw didn’t unclench. “It’s been more than a few times,” she told him softly. “Damian tells me, ever since we got closer. He tells me when you have to stop yourself from pulling him back. When you bark his name before seeing that he wasn’t going to use lethal force at all. You need to realize that Damian hasn’t taken a single life in six years. He hasn’t caused permanent injury unless absolutely necessary— a total of three times in twice as many years. You need to nip this habit of yours in the bud, now,” she took a few more steps forward, so that she was only inches away as she glared straight up at his face.

“We are both your blood children, but you have only apologized to me about the way you acted tonight. One day, your lack of trust in Damian could get him killed— again. You call out his name too early, and you could startle him or give his opponent the shock they need to make a sudden attack that Damian won’t be able to parry. You grabbing him and pulling him back can stop him from, like me, knocking out an opponent who is still fighting. Unlike me though, his opponent could have a gun. Or a remote to a worse weapon. He could use those seconds you just gave him to take Damian away from us again,” Marinette stopped, shaking her head and taking a deep breath.

“If you’re gonna have us work with you, you need to trust our judgement. If you want us to be a family, then you need to trust us. Period.” With that, Marinette jumped off the side of the building and swung away, leaving her father standing there with a lot to think about.

—*—*—*—*—*

Short, but angsty! I wrote this in an hour, don’t @ me. I took a thirty minute break for a late dinner.

@momothefemur @ladybug-182 @starlightshield @trippingovermyfeet @greatcatblaze @sam-i-am-0222 @bluesimani @ruelukas22 @acoolspacegirl @iamablinkmarvelarmy

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #b!dbwm2020 #bio dad bruce wayne #day four #platonic daminette #platonic brucinette

320 notes · View notes

ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 4 years

Text

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one.

For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words.

Someone to have fun with.

No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

Someone to watch Netflix with.

Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything.

Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE.

The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out.

Serial killer much?

“That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

“What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

“Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

“I’m busy,” I’d defended.

“Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

“Am not!”

“You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

“Did you see him in that suit?”

Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

“That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.”

That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests.

Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself.

I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created.

Ding!

I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain?

“Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone.

Tyler wants to chat!

I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request.

Whoosh.

My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

Seconds later, my phone dinged.

Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right?

But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly?

Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

Tyler: Hi?

Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

Y/N: U a fan?

Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all.

Tyler: I give up, you’re really good.

Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say.

Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me.

Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

Tyler: I guessed that!

Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

Tyler: C’mon, barely.

For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him.

On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

“...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed.

Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.”

Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.”

“Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

“But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

“It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

“Yup!” I agreed.

“Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me.

We all greeted her.

“Have a good weekend?” Rue asked.

“Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---”

Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers.

“Fine,” Jules said.

Rue shrugged in response.

I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket.

Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text?

I smiled.

“You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath.

“Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.”

Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me.

“Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.”

“It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them.

I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other.

“Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

“Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

“It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books.

As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

“Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

“We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted.

“Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

“Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.”

I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?”

As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

“I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

“Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered.

“Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms.

She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

“You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

“Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked.

“No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

“Nice,” Jules said.

“And scary accurate,” Cassie added.

Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.”

Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

“Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

“Sorry, I was----”

“Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said.

“Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued.

“Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

“Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

“I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

“Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered.

“I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted.

It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

“WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened.

“Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria.

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped.

“Maddy---”

“ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked.

Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

“Maddy, we need to talk.”

“Don’t talk to me again.”

Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps.

“I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night.

Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think.

Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

Tyler: How do u know?

Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that.

Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad.

Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much?

Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt?

A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

“Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection.

“Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed.

Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?” “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

“He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

“Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

“Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

“Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

“We can?” Rue asked.

“We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed.

“It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

“Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

I nodded.

“She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.”

After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school.

The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

“Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him.

“No, not really,” I said.

I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline.

“Get in,” Nate ordered.

I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?”

“I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

“We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated.

“We can talk during the drive.”

I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly.

I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“How do you know where I live?” I asked.

“You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

“When?”

“After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

“Oh, thanks?”

“Sure.”

We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag.

“Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

“Yeah, see you around, Y/N.”

I closed the door and headed inside.

“I’m home!” I called.

My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?”

“Fine.”

“Was that Nate Jacobs outside?”

I hesitated.

How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like? “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.”

“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”

I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

“Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

“What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired.

“Don’t you hate him?”

“He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

“Did Maddy see?”

“Do you think she’s gonna kill you?”

“Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted.

They both nodded.

“But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

“Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.”

Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

“You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

“Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

“Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

“No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

“And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

“Okay.” After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

“Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered.

“Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures.

She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.”

I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.”

Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

“No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

“No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued.

“I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.”

After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

“Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

“Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

“Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

“I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.”

Jules shrugged.

I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger?

“What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.”

“I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud.

“How do you see him now?” Lexi asked.

I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand.

Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?”

“No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

“Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?”

“I really, really, really, like him.”

“Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

“Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

“Okay.”

If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person?

I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him.

Y/N: That did not happen! Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

Almost.

My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

“Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

Y/N: When and where?

“You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.” “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout.

“Sure,” I said.

Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.”

“Thanks?”

“Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

“No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.”

“Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said.

“You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

“That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

“Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail.

When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out.

“Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

“I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room.

“Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

“I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

“It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?”

Rue nodded and sniffled.

It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

“Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework.

Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right.

When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

“This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented.

“I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me.

“What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse.

Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now.

“Just let me explain,” he requested softly.

He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

“I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?”

“No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.”

“I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!”

“I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head.

“No,” I hiccuped.

“I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

I sniffed. “Us?”

At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece.

“Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified.

“Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out.

And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could.

“Nate...stop!”

But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

“I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

“So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it.

Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.”

“What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!”

“Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.”

“Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel.

“Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.”

My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!”

Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?”

I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Like I said, just be available when I need you.”

“Fine.”

“Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.”

I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won.

I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry.

How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue.

Y/N: U were right.

#euphoria imagine #nate jacobs imagine

412 notes · View notes

sly-merlin · 4 years

Text

Killing Me - 3 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings : curse words, mention of murder, guns, knives. smut and drinking.

new entries : yugyeom, jungkook , wonwoo

words : 4.2k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

curiosity got the cat hitched!

K.M masterlist

prev next

taglist ::t :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! ) @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @suhweo @exfolitae @minejungwoo

{ 11:15 }

Look before you leap. Had you remembered the saying, you’d not be sitting in front of a mafia boss, regretting your former imprudent actions. Taeyong was sitting on a high back executive chair, aura screaming authority, his high and mighty self, making you feel inferior. His eyes bore into yours as if he could read your soul with his intense gaze.

Your stare equally harmonized with his fierce one.

A loud fake cough from someone interrupted you from ogling at the boss. He indeed looked like a feast, anyone would falter! Getting your much needed attention at this point, taeyong dismissed others from his office with a flick of his hand. The only ones to stay behind in the vicinity of the four walls were you, taeyong and a blue haired man. Out of all, he looked most annoyed with your presence.

“Jaehyun, sit down, it’s going to take a while.” taeyong directed him and the man occupied the empty seat beside you. You could already feel him eyeing you down.

“Miss y/n. I’m not going to beat around the bush. So, listen sensibly.”

Your blood ran cold at his cold and blank declaration. The fierceness of his eyes was seeping through his words making you cower in your position. Your firm resolve to fight for your life was already breaking down and this was just a start.

“I know this is too sudden and It’s normal being apprehensive of this situation but you are not on a very strong front here. Marry yuta or - you know the consequences. And I don’t want you to choose on impulse. This is going to be your last opportunity, so be wise! Nobody wants to die y/n and you certainly don’t! I have a proposal for you. It’s for your own good but if you still decides against me, I promise I’ll grant your last wish without any hesitance and believe me, I always keep my word” he finished, placing his gun on the table to prove his point. You nodded briefly after taking in everything. He continued-

“You will marry yuta, say by the end of this week. But as you sign the registration papers, I’ll provide you the ownership of 3 exclusive properties in gangnam with only one small, harmless condition. You’ll hold title not as miss y/l/n but as Mrs Nakamoto. Moreover, you won’t have to do any job. Your living expenses, all will be managed from our side. Yuta alone is capable of providing you a black card. You can live hassle free. A house, security, what else could anyone want! You won’t have to change a thing in your life. Think of it as an up-gradation.”

You felt like being kicked in the teeth. This man was trying to bargain your whole future with his riches.

“Sounds promising?” He enquired. You pondered over what he said to find any single error to turn the tables but that was out of question until you knew his demands fully. And it wasn’t very promising. when did choosing between life and death became so difficult!

“You can’t assure me my freedom! connecting me with neos is more like booking a room for me to rotten in jail. The security you are talking about is for you I guess. And yuta is more like a noose for me. I’ll be dead one way or another” you uttered, releasing the air you were holding while speaking.

You heard jaehyun snort beside you.

“Your safety will be my top priority and yes, you will be associating with neos, but that is something you don’t need to be worry about. For the outer world, you will be the wife of yuta”.

“What difference would it make?” his explanations going beyond your head.

“Let me explain like this. Have you ever seen a neo member’s face prior to this or heard anyone getting caught?”

“I guess no.”you answered without hesitation.

“Neos doesn’t have faces .…but these faces do have names for commoners like you.”

“You mean double-life?”

“Have you ever heard of moon industries?”

“Who doesn’t have? Moon industries are the 3rd biggest sponsors and investers for almost everything in Korea.”

“Yeah, yuta works there. Anything clicks for you?

You refuse with motion of your head.

“You’ll not be marrying yuta from neos but nakamoto yuta who works in moon industries. Like that, you won’t be getting in any trouble . A legitimate life. You can do anything you want except open your pretty mouth”.

you didn’t like being called that!

“I don’t understand, you said nobody knows you people then what am I even doing here. How that officer did even recognise yuta. I shouldn’t even be here, if your identities are so hidden.”

“See jaehyun, I told you she’s more than just book smart. Listen y/n, mafia doesn’t work like the way you might be thinking. We can’t spill everything to you even if you decide to die the very next moment.

It was hard to believe that he planned all of this while you were held captive, within 9 hours. Taeyong was extremely meticulous and expeditious as well. But there was one more question left and you knew he couldn’t answer it. Nothing came without flaws afterall!

“Why are you being so ‘generous’ to me? My bio data of few pages can’t make you trust me so definitely. You are practically giving me an offer to rant you all to police. I’m sure you don’t grease the palms of all officers and if I-

“Me and you both know that you won’t do it unless you are fed up with your life and that would leave to start de novo!” his words indicated conclusiveness, his raised brows challenging you to refuse him. For now his surety signalled safety, but you still had one defence left or as everyone called it – a plea. It was better to beg than to be between Scylla and Charybdis.

“Is there no other way. I promise you with my life I won’t ever say anything. You can put spies over me or do whatever you want to keep a check on me.” your desperation to fight for your life was evident in your appeal.

“Yes! There is one more solution!” jaehyun chimed, facing you from his seat. He was grinning eye to eye. “We can sell you to an underground escort ring where you’ll happily live until you die and there’d be no neo or yuta or police or career. I’m sure you are shrewd enough to survive there”. nobody mentioned this before!

“If you can’t shut your mouth, then leave jaehyun.” taeyong scolded and he went back to his original position. Jaehyun seemed to be enjoying your state. He hit you with harsh reality you were still unaware of. Maybe,you were really on their mercy now,

“He is joking right?”

“No, he is telling the truth but I want you to make a choice. That hell-hole is not for someone like you. You can do better. Take this as a shortcut to a nice life.”

“How can I believe that you won’t be putting me in the some escort ring as he said to shut my mouth?”

“If I wanted, you won’t be sitting here anymore.”he deadpanned

You were silent. Your mind went blank. No words came to grace your lips. You were trapped and though there were plenty of options, there was none for you. Either you live and marry yuta or die. There was no other way to live.

“And what if my life doesn’t turn out all good?” you asked timidly.

“Then I’ll let you leave. And without any condition”

Finally some hope. You could leave. You would definitely leave.

“Is yuta okay with it?”

“His position is not better than yours.”

“I’m not going to leave university then.”

“Suit yourself! Just don’t convert yourself into a nuisance for us.”

You nodded with head hanging low. You had been beating the air till now, which resulted in nothing but defeat. Taeyong got what he wanted in the end.

“Call jaemin and haechan. Before she goes home, we need to give her a gift. And you made a good choice, you won’t regret it, take my word for it.”

[1 p.m]

Twelve hours has passed. As you were walking towards your dorm, you pinched yourself several times but your reality was now a nightmare from which you’d never wake up. Defeated, you entered your dorm only to lie down in the bed, to regret your life decisions. Graciously, chelin was out till midnight with her boyfriend, so you had all the time in the world. The last 12 hours kept playing in your head like a broken record. You were happy in the club drinking yesterday. if maybe you’d not left them behind, you’d still be incharge of your life game. then that police officer, living off of some mafia group, doyoung , johnny,jaehyun , taeyong and him, the source of your plight. You were suddenly feeling like a kite which till now was flying freely in the air but its thread was now in the grasp of someone who wanted to tie you down by the same, if you think of it, the scales were never balanced! You were always at the losing end. Beggars are never the choosers after all. Sleep unknowingly took over your tired limb while you were wallowing in self-pity.

A ping.

The notification of a text woke you up from your peaceful sleep. You were out for about 4 hours but it felt good as your head was no more pounding. The text was from Jungkook about a party his friend group was organising to celebrate the upcoming finals. they were just partying yesterday with you and now this.

Another ping.

Same text from yugyeom. You sighed in frustration.

Both of your best friends lived in the same place and were always joined by the hip and you were sure they were together at the moment as well but where there’s a question to annoy you, they won’t let the opportunity pass.

You deliberated about telling them everything but you refrained as taeyong’s threat was not a gun without bullet. He warned you before coming and you were supposed to keep your mouth shut. It was better to keep them away from trouble. You were extremely alone.

Another ping.

They were asking about your whereabouts. You never informed them you reached home yesterday. Their worry was visible through their multiple scolding motherly texts. You would have laughed at their antics but your own humorous state rendered you incompetent to feel any joy.

It was not difficult to make them believe that you overslept as everyone knew your shitty professors treated you more like a slave and less like their researcher. But refusing to meet them and declining free alcohol was making them sceptical. You had no option other than going but you’d be anywhere than at a party right now. But maybe some commotion of drunk university students and blasting music could take your thoughts away for some time.

However, first there was another task to be taken care of! You searched ‘Moon Industries’ on naver. There were numerous articles praising their new successful new ventures. You opened their official website, the list of board of directors and associates was not too long. The photo of head director looked too familiar. Maybe it was that short man. And then him. There was no photo but his name was written just few places below moon tail. Taeyong was not bluffing. Nakamoto was an important name and maybe everyone there was, however, it was beyond your intellect as how they managed to do it. There was no way out now. One thing that wasn’t adding up was the properties .your brainwaves couldn’t find a conclusion to those. There was no reason for him to do that when you weren’t left with any choice ultimately. Maybe you’ll find out tomorrow.

You got out of clothes that adorned your body since yesterday. Their smell was enough to make you gag. How could someone fell asleep in these! The cold water of the shower eased your mind fairly. Your eyes were drooping again but sleeping would do you no good. You could run away from your problem like everybody else. Just this once. After showering, you took a brief look at your wardrobe. It was just a college party, with same people so dressing up to impress them was out of tone for you. Not that you were dolling up anyways. You could just wear your pyjama and still outshine any flashy titties out there. At least that’s what kookie and gyeom had been feeding you till now. You took out a black full sleeve v- neck blouse with white shorts. It hugged your upper body tightly leaving just enough space for some air. You looked good and felt good too. Being in no mood to do makeup, you opted for a nude lip to complete your look. You wore the bracelet that you were not supposed to part with but out of habit, you had removed it earlier to shower. Now it adorned your wrist again. It was a band. A gift by taeyong. The bracelet was a tracking device, not that jaemin wasn’t hacking your phone already but they needed to be double sure, just in case. Not like you were going to rant them out. you felt like Taeyong’s threatening voice would never leave your ears.

Yugyeom’s call replaced the voice. They were already waiting for you. You decided to drown yourself in alcohol for one day and enjoy with your friends. The party was at nearby club situated at 10 min distance. Your dorm was nearer to the gates so it was always easy to go out. Slipping into your shoes, you made your way out.

“You will regret this, taeyong” though yuta didn’t show in front of you in basement, he was furious at taeyong for making his life decisions. “First her and now this! the mistake I made was not that big. Slip ups happen with everyone here, including you. So why it’s only me, who’s getting –

“Not a slip up but a blunder yuta” taeyong fumed at him. “Last time, mark almost died because of you. It was my mistake I let it slide. You aren’t getting any more chances. My decision is final” his voice went deeper as he spoke.

“I regret it tae, you know it” his voice filled with guilt. “But don’t feed me the lies. This is not the only reason you’re doing this for. There is something you aren’t telling us”

“There might be. But you already know what you need to! So celebrate your month long vacation. Go to work with taeil hyung. She’s coming tomorrow again and we’ll discuss other matters with her. Be present here. Don’t disappear like you did in the morning.”

Yuta huffed and decided to leave instead of wasting his time on his leader.

“And leave your gun here”

“WHAT NOW?”

“Don’t shout and leave your gun. Corporates don’t carry guns in this country.” taeyong replied calmly, almost in a mocking tone. Yuta removed the gun from holster and handed it to taeyong before turning towards the door.

“Other one as well” taeyong demanded with a smirk.

“Huh, now you’ll ask for my dagger as well!” yuta sneered at him while removing the other pistol from back of the pants.

“I’m not that cruel, yu. Keep your sweetheart with you. It’ll remind you of the absence of your other toys.”. “And don’t forget. Tomorrow at 4. sharp.”

Instead of responding, yuta showed him a middle finger before actually going out.

Mark was standing at the end of the hallway, waiting for yuta already.

“What happened hyung?” he asked curiously.

“Nothing. You are going to be the best man in my wedding” yuta replied nonchalantly. But mark knew there was more to it. Yuta won’t settle down just because he was told to!

“To her?”

“Yeah, who else. Taeyong is getting short on his brain. We might need to replace him soon” he joked but mark could see right past him.

“Hyung. What are you thinking?” he asked cautiously in a scared tone.

“Ruin her life. I’ll make her regret being alive.”

And yuta walked away, leaving worried mark behind him. He didn’t go after him. He knew better not to.

The party was at full blast when you reached. It was always a nice change watching studious snu students washing away their worries. Your soulmates were nowhere to be found but you spotted chelin sitting with her friends on the stairs. It seemed like everyone who knew was there. Your classmates, juniors. Club was filled with students of all ages. Being multi-storey with a parking lot and near the uni., these factors were enough for making it a perfect party spot. After talking to a few fellow classmates, you went upstairs, brushing past chain’s group, who seemed to be too drunk to notice you. There were Jungkook and yugyeom with few others sports physiotherapy students. Being master’s students, you all just went to parties for alcohol and hook-ups and nothing else. And that’s what you were planning to do from the start.

“y/l/n” as yugyeom noticed you, he and Jungkook ran to give you a bear hug.

“I don’t want to smell your armpits, losers. Get away” you huffed while struggling in their tight grip.

“sowwyyyy, we forgot you are under average” jungkook teased you, gyeom giving him a hifi in return.

“You both are so damn irritating.”

“We adore you too, darling” Jungkook knew how much you hated being called that. But alcohol in his system was making him daring. After giving a fist hit to his gut, which did nothing to his sculptured abs, you made your way to the drinks. One, two, three, and within 5 minutes you had enough alcohol in your system to provide much needed numbness to your brain.

“Whoa shortie, what’s with you today? At least wait for us to join you.” kook chimed in with another nickname you hated with your guts.

“You both are already drunk, meaning kook your boyfriend is here and gyeom, your girlfriend. You both are going to forget me in few minutes anyway.”

As if on cue, yugyeom’s girl yeong came into view, giving you a proper hug.

“I’m so sorry y/n, but we have to go. Our department has to work for the fundraiser tomorrow and I’m a designated driver here.” she explained sheepishly. Not like you were dying to talk to them today. The loner, the better.

“Plz take them away. I’ll send you a thank you card tomorrow for your act of kindness.” you said sarcastically, resulting in both of them making faces at you.

“Bye y/n we’ll mwisss uuu” Jungkook lunged at you with a back breaking hug. Then came gyeom and in a minute they were both out of your sight.

Those being out of your way meant no one was there to stop you. Once your body was flooding in alcohol, You made your way to the dance floor. You loved music and dancing came mechanically with that. You were swaying your body, mingling with the music when you felt a pair of hands controlling your movements. You accepted his well-known touch. You both moved side to side for a few minutes before he impatiently lead you towards the back of the club. He was always an eager one, not that you ever denied him. Noticing few people already in each others faces, he moved to the other side, heading towards the car parking. Sprinting towards his car, he hurriedly opened the back car door to lead you in.

“Not here, wonwoo.” he viewed you with his raised brow. “Back!”

“Who am I to refuse you, baby” he said, directing you towards the trunk. He opened it with one swift motion. His legs were swinging outside as he sat on the edge. Pulling you towards him, he kissed you hungrily like hadn’t feasted on you a few days ago. Wonwoo loved your touch, and same was the case with you. That was it, nothing more to description.

“Looks like someone missed me” you whispered in between the kisses.

“You are at a perfect height for me here. God, why didn’t I think of this earlier” and kept attacking your lips until they were plump enough to satisfy him. His tongue asked for entrance, which your lips provided without any hesitation. Your hands were mingled in his hair tugging at the hair roots, earning few groans from him. Somewhere while kissing, you ended up on his right thigh which you were roughly grinding by now.

“As much as I would love you to cum on my thigh, I want to take you raw. So please be patient” he requested while stopping your movements with one hand. His other hand was caressing your back and waist, making you bite him on his lips.

“Shit, you can’t wait huh” he jested at you. he dropped you on your feet, one hand resting against your wet core from behind, other angling your neck to place wet kisses on your collarbones. You whimpered and squirmed against his touch. He had that effect on you. You weren’t sure what drew you both back towards each other after each week but the pull was compelling to you.

After gratified with his artwork he stood up to replace your positions. You were now sitting on edge while he towered over you. Hastily your hand went to remove his belt but seeing you struggling, he took up the task for himself. You removed your own shorts in meantime and placed them where his pants were now. Fortunately for others, the party inside was still lively to engage them and there was no fear of getting caught, not that wonwoo cared. He could take you anytime, anywhere.

He had to lower himself to hold you but he was so used to it by now. Without a warning, he slided you towards his standing body to kiss you ravenously. Your hands did their work on his boxers and started pumping his already hard length. No words were spoken as your silky underwear was removed from your hips. He backed you against the surface to the point you were lying down, his hand on back of your head to support you. His length slipped into you making you whimper loudly. He was big, from everywhere. Skin slapping was the only sound that could be heard in the quite parking lot at this hour of night. His hand on your hip was holding you tight, your legs wrapped around his waist while he fucked and kissed you in his brute mode. If it was not for his arms, you’d have collapsed then and there.

“Fuck y/n. how can you be so tight” he hissed against your lips.

“Shut u-up.” your voice got stuck in your throat. The only thing in your control were your hands on wonwoo’s nape, holding him towards you. The muscles in your abdomen, which could be felt by him, went stiff, your back arching at familiar sensation. His own kisses went sloppier indicating he was also closer. You both released at the same time, warm liquid spilling out of your conjoined bodies. He placed a sweet kiss on your forehead before removing himself from you.

Before you could touch your panties stuck between your legs, he stopped you.

“Wait lemme find something to clean you up” he quickly got dressed, while you sat there with your intertwined legs. He came back from front with a handkerchief. He cleaned you before helping you with your shorts. You were glad for wearing loose shorts as they were easy to transfer with your shoes. With his arm on upper side of trunk, his hunched figure stared you down suspiciously.

“What’s up with you today?”

Not him as well.

“Nothing, I overslept and I’m still tired. So I’ll be going now.” you declared implying that you won’t tell him.

“Okay, as you say. Are you free next Friday though” he asked taking his chances. Again.

“Don’t start again woo? At least you can leave me in peace. I’m going .bye bye. See you after finals. maybe.” you slipped away from under his arm towards the gate of parking lot, only looking behind to wave him goodbye. His followed suit.

You were gone but he’d never stopped trying.

You mentally thanked your friends for giving you an invite as many things were clear in your head now. It was definitely the alcohol and wonwoo but you were much calmer now.

A ping.

Jaemin: don’t forget about tomorrow, noona. Taeyong hyung told me to remind you.

You scoffed at his text. Noona. Some overhyped kid he was!

But his message made you understand that all this was permanent. Sober you or drunken,Your life was changing forever. The tomorrow you were waiting till now was altered.

You went home with same dejection. Taeyong’s last words echoing in your head.

“Life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can. It is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

feedback is appreciated. it serves as motivation for writers! so please leave some honest feedback to help me improve! thanks for reading!!

#tag are not working #nct #nct 127 #nct yuta #killing me yuta #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct arrange marriage #nct smut #nct mafia #nct angst #yuta scenarios #yuta imagines #yuta mafia au #yuta arrange marriage #yuta smut #nct series #yuta series

180 notes · View notes

thr-333 · 4 years

Text

Mismatch- Part 3

Bio Dad Bruce Wayne Month 2020

Ah Irony, I trust this wont be the last I’m seeing of you

First < Previous > Next

----

‘Sorry, Nino told Adrien that you guys said to go ahead!?’ Chloe explained.

“Looks like Liela’s at it again,” Marion tells Marinette.

“Of course she is,” Marinette was already hailing a cab

‘Lila must have told Alya who told Nino or something’ Marion responds.

'I am so sorry we’ll come back to get you’

‘Dont worry bout it we’re getting a cab’

‘Dont let kags kill anyone’ He adds

‘No promises’

Marinette grabs Marion by the arm, dragging him over to a cab. Just as she's about to climb in someone grabs her, arm pulling her away. Reflexes kick in and she makes a jab at their stomach. They block her punch, but let go of her arm. Marinette looks up to see a black haired blue eyed boy who couldn't be any older than them.

“This isn’t a real cab,” He explains quickly, taking his phone out to snap a picture of the stunned driver.

“Oh? Oh!” Marinette processes, realising she just tried to punch him for helping her, “I am so sorry!”

“It’s ok, good reflexes,” He compliments, they step away from the cab as it speeds away, “I’m Tim,”

“Marinette,” She shakes his offered hand, “This is Marion,”

“Hi, thanks for that,” Marion nods towards where the ‘taxi’ was, “How could you tell?”

“You live around here long enough you learn to spot them,” Tim answers, “are you two french?”

“Yep,” Marinette chirped, “We’re on a class trip,”

“Where’s your class?” Tim frowns looking around.

“Ummm… they kinda….” Marinette looked down at her shoes.

“Left us,” Marion finishes for her.

“They left you? In Gotham?” Tim asks, the twins nod avoiding eye contact.

“Where are you staying? I’ll drive you there,” Tim decides.

“You don’t have to do that!” Marinette gestures wildly, wide eyed.

“We’ll be fine on our own,” Marion adds, because yes they did almost get in a fake cab, but it wasn't as if they couldn't have dealt with it.

“It’s all right,” Tim tells them, scanning the cars around, “Look my rides here,”

The twins turn to see a limo pull up, a well dressed driver steps out of the vehicle.

“Good Evening Master Tim, how was your trip?” He asks, taking Tim’s bag.

“It was fine Alfred,” Tim says, “would you mind if we dropped these two off at their hotel?”

“Not at all, Master Tim, I am Alfred Pennyworth,” Alfred greets the twins, “May I ask your names,”

“Uh, Marion, and this is Marinette,” Marion replies, “You really don’t have to, we’ll be fine,”

“It’s no trouble at all,” He tells them, “Where are you staying?”

“Wayne hotel,” Marinette goes to grab her bags to find them gone, turning to see Alfred already placing it in the trunk.

“Witchcraft,” Marion whispers to her, Marinette nods. She always made sure to at least be touching her backpack, as it held the Miracle box.

“Come in,” Tim offers, already sitting in the Limo.

The twins concede climbing in after Tim a little awkwardly. He had somehow gotten ahold of a travel cup and was holding it like a lifeline.

“I’m surprised you're staying at the Wayne hotel for a class trip,” Tim takes a gulp of the probably scalding hot coffee.

“Marinette submitted an amazing essay to the Wayne Foundation and won the trip for the whole class,” Marion dodges her kick, Tim hides his smirk behind his cup.

"We submitted an essay,” Marinette corrects, glaring at Marion for shaking his head.

“Thank you for the ride,” Marion changes the topic.

“No problem, I really don’t mind, the longer I stay away from the manor the better,” Tim replies sleepily.

“Why's that?” Marinette questions, concern written all over her face.

“Loud, too many siblings” Tim quickly clarified, “I need more time with my coffee before I deal with them,”

“I think I can relate,” Marion mutters, ignoring Marinette's look, “How many siblings do you have?”

“Officially? Thr-Two brothers,”

“Unofficially?” Marinette prods.

“Feels like half of Gotham most the time,” Tim sighs, making them chuckle.

“You two must be twins?” Tim guesses.

“Unfortunately,” Marinette sighs.

“You love me,” Marion scoffs.

“Unfortunately,” Marinette repeats, Tim cracks a smile.

“If it's any consolation you seem to get on much better than I do with my siblings,” Tim takes another long sip from his coffee.

“If it’s any consolation we’re always fighting,” Marion parrots, sharing a knowing glance with Marinette. Fighting? Yes. Fighting each other? Only when Chat Noir gets brainwashed.

“So what are you looking forward to in Gotham?” Tim asks.

“Lots of things,” Marinette and Marion start to tell Tim all about their(civilian) plans. Tim suggests places every now and then, he points out the hotel as they start to get closer.

“Ah!” Marinette exclaims, turning to Marion, “We were meant to check in as a class, will they even let us in?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they do,” Tim assures them. When they pull up at the hotel Alfred opens the door and Tim gets out with them.

“Thank you so much,” Marinette takes her bags from Alfred, giving him a smile.

“You’re welcome Miss,” Alfred smiles back.

Marion also gives his thanks and they follow Tim into the building. Marinette admires the architecture, brainstorming ideas for designs. Perhaps she can make improvements to the outfits they’ll be using at the concert. Tim goes straight to the front desk and explains the situation. The receptionists hands over the room keys, telling them their classmates had already grouped up, three to a room.

“That was surprisingly easy,” Marion muses, as they walk towards the elevator, “Thank you,”

“My pleasure,” Tim answers easily, as they step into the elevator, “I must be off,”

They give their goodbyes, letting the doors close as Tim walks away.

“He was nice,” Marinette hums in agreement.

“Hopefully there's more people in Gotham like him,” They step out of the elevator.

“There will be,” Marion assures, “Meet back here when they go to sleep?”

“No, I’ll text you when everyones asleep and you can teleport in,” Marion nods, both know Kaalki won’t be impressed.

They go their separate ways. Marinette knocked on the room door that was opened a few moments later by Kagami.

“I am sorry,” Kagami immediately apologizes, “I should have known better and asked you myself,”

“Don’t worry, we’re fine,” Marinette gives the girl a hug, rolling her suitcase into the room.

“Marinette, you need to see this place, although it’s as good as daddys hotel,” Chloe grabs her by the arm. Leading her through the well furnished and decorated living room with a kitchenette to the side.

“You do live in the penthouse suite,” Marinette looked out the floor to ceiling window, displaying the view of the city, itching to grab her sketchbook.

“True, but they didn’t put me in the penthouse, so it's their loss,” Chloe guides her to a room with a large bed, bedside tables with flowers on them and a mirrored closet door. “This is yours,”

Marinette went to grab her suitcase only to see Kagami behind them with it. She thanked her and got settled in. Once she was unpacked they sat together in the living room to talk about tomorrow.

“You’d better not go wandering off, Gotham is dangerous,” Chloe wagged her finger at Marinette.

“And you’re going to protect me?” Marinette threw a couch cushion at her.

“Well, duh, I was Queen Bee,” Chloe bragged, catching the cushion and throwing it right back.

“For, like, month, years ago,” Marinette caught the pillow, sending it to Kagami, “Weren’t you replaced with Bumble Bee?”

“It was a mutual decision,” Chloe caught the pillow that Kagami hesitantly threw to her.

“Right,” Marinette said in a disbelieving tone, knowing full well that Bumble Bee was just Chloe’s new alias. “I think I’d rather stick with Kagami,”

“Rude,” Chloe threw the pillow at her.

“Didn’t we all agree Kagami was as good as any bodyguard?” Marinette asks, throwing the pillow to said girl.

“Excuse you, we said she was better than any bodyguard,” Both gave her inquisitive looks, “What? I’m just stating facts!”

“Of course,” Marinette caught the pillow, still smiling.

“I am!”

“I believe you,” Marinette threw the pillow back at her.

“No you don’t!” Chloe throws the pillow forcefully at her.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Marinette chucks the pillow to Kagami.

“You’re infuriating Dupain-cheng,” Chloe huffs, catching the pillow from Kagami.

“I can show you some… moves,” Kagami hesitantly speaks up, as Chloe throws the pillow at Marinette, “For self defence,”

“Sure,” Marinette puts the pillow down, standing up with Kagami.

They spent the next half hour with Kagami instructing Marinette on basic fencing moves. With the cardboard wrapping of the now empty Toblerone block.

“Where is she going to get a sword?” Chloe was scrolling through her phone, “Unless you want her to carry that around everywhere,”

“What do you suggest?” Kagami challenges defensively.

“Like this,” Chloe takes over, showing both Marinette and Kagami how to break out of certain holds to get their arm free or how to disarm an opponent.

“Where did you learn this?” Marinette watches as Kagami practices the motions of disarming Chloe's hairbrush gun.

“I told you, I was Queen Bee and I took that job seriously,” Chloe drops the hairbrush, Kagami kicking it away.

“Didn’t you tell all of Paris your identity and then send a train out of control,” Kagami asks, retrieving the hairbrush.

“I was young and naive,” Chloe sighs dramatically, had to her forehead.

“Three years ago?” Marinette stands up to try and disarm Chloe now.

“Four actually,”

“Oh, my mistake,” Marinette rolls her eyes trying not to disarm Chloe too quickly.

They carry on a little longer before Marinette sends them to bed.

“We have an early day tomorrow, we don’t want to be late,” She pushes Chloe towards her room.

“Coming from you? That’s rich,” Chloe laughs.

“Whatever, go to sleep,” Marinette closes the door on Chloe's protests.

“Goodnight Marinette,” Kagami nods, walking to her room without a fuss.

Marinette goes to her room, firing Marion a text.

“Alright dude,” Nino turns to Marion, “I’m with Alya, we all know who Adrien has a crush on-”

“Everyone!?” Adrien sits up from where he’s lying on the couch.

“Yes, everyone,” Nino deadpans.

“What about Marinette?” Adrien turns pleading eyes to Marion.

“Oh not Marinette, she's as clueless as you,”

“What’s that meant to mean?” Adrien frowns defensively.

“Anyway,” Nino interrupts, “Dude, who do you have a crush on?”

“Ummmm,” Marion shifts uncomfortably from where he’s perched on the couches arm rest, “... It’s sort of a celebrity crush,”

“Oh? who?” apparently that was not the answer that would make him lose interest.

“It’s not really important, not like anything could happen,” Marion looks at Adrien for help, but he seems just as curious as Nino.

“Just tell us,” Nino pushes.

“It’s a hero,” Marion immediately realises that just got them more interested. “... From Gotham,”

“Batman?” Adrien guesses.

“No!” Marion shouts, “No! He’s old enough to be my dad, geez,”

“Alright, alright, who is it?” Nino placates leaning forward on his arm chair.

“..... Red hood,”

“Isn’t he a rouge?” Adrien asks.

“No!.... Maybe, he’s still a hero ok?” Marion curls up defensively.

“Why do you like him?” Adrien is grinning, shifting closer to Marion.

“I don’t know,” Marion rolls off the armrest, onto the couch next to him.

“You have to like something,” Nino gets up to sit on his other side.

“I don’t know, maybe because he looks good in his suit?!” Marion shouts.

“You’re not that shallow,” Adrien pokes him in the stomach.

“Ugh, fine,” Marion relents, “He works with Batman right?”

They both nod.

“He’s just so unlike everyone else he works with, I just kinda…. admire how he can just be…. be himself.” Marion curls up under his friend's stares.

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this,” Adrien teases, Marion huffs.

“He does look good in his suit though,”

“Wait a minute, is this why you always wear that MDC outfit?” Nino is clearly holding back laughter.

“No!” Marion bushes at the memory.

They were doing a practice interview about his newest song. Marinette had designed his outfit based on Red Hood's. It was something he had endured endless teasing over as he insisted everything had to be perfect, not that the great MDC would make anything less.

“Were there any problems that arose from the design MDC?” The interview asked, moving onto the outfit choice.

“We had some minor disagreements about the hood,” Marinette gestured to the outfit Marion was wearing. A red hoodie underneath a faux leather jacket(not that you could tell) on the back there were flying red bats embroidered up the side. He was wearing a black domino mask with red detailing in place of the helmet. It was the outfit they chose to alter into their vigilante costumes.

“She was getting very frustrated over it,” Marion teased, “I told her it didn’t need one,”

“His name is Red Hood! Why doesn't he wear a Hood? Robin wears a hood,”

“He looks cool without it,” Marion defended.

“You’re just saying that, cause you have a crush on him,” Marinette teased in a sing-song voice.

“MD!” He shouted, pulling the hood up to hide his blush, MDC laughing at him, he groaned. “Please tell me the cameras aren't rolling,”

“Don’t worry, nothing we say is being recorded,” The interviewer was luckily professional enough to not laugh, but was certainly amused, “I take it we will be omitting that from the real interview?”

“Yes!”

Unfortunately for him one of the staff members had been secretly recording. They leaked the footage online, getting fired, but not sparing MCD from the whole world finding out. The fanbase had been going crazy ever since they announced their concert in Gotham. Many imagining meet-cute moments or theorising that they were already dating. He shakes his head at the memory.

“I just think it looks cool,” He comes back to the present.

“Because it’s based on your crush?” Adrien teases.

“Nope, you don’t get to tease me about this, I haven't seen you not wearing something Marinette made you in years,” Marion cuts Adrien off with a raised eyebrow, looking down at his Ladybug onesie Marinette made him.

“Fine,” Adrien turns to Nino, “It’s up to you now,”

“Has Marinette made you anything Red Hood related?” Nino grins.

“Nooooo,” Marion moans, draping over the couch.

“Do you have a onesie based on him as well?” Marion finds his saving grace when his pocket buzzes.

“Stooooooooop,”

“Never this is too good,” Nino teases, “Did you bring it with you?”

“That's enough for tonight!” Marion claps his hands, standing up.

“Awwwww,” They both moan in unison.

“Nope! I don’t have to put myself through this, goodnight to you,” Marion walks straight to his room before they can protest further.

He locks the door behind him. Plagg and Kaalki are in the room chatting, they fly over to Marion.

“You ready to go Kaalki?”

“I am not meant to be used for something as trivial as a taxi,” The Kwami complains.

“We just need to grab out suits, this will be the only night, I promise,” The Kwami gives him a nod, “Kaalki full gallop,”

He transforms and opens a portal into Marinette's room.

“Ready Bug?” He asks, stepping into the room. He opens another portal to their room in Paris.

“Of course,” They step through the portal, followed by their Kwami’s, into their room as quietly as possible.

Marion drops his Marinette pulls out their costumes from the closet. They were disguised to look like regular clothing, but could be altered to quickly change.

“I don’t know how you talked me into this,” Marinette takes the hoodie he usually wears, reaching under a secret fold and unzips the hood.

“Come on bug, our hero-selves cant be seen in Gotham, and you know full well we wouldn't stand aside if someone was getting hurt in front of us,” Marion takes the body of the hoodie from her, flipping it inside out to the black side.

“True, but why do we have to do nightly patrols?” Marinette finishes pulling on her leggings, flipping her usual white jumper with a cherry blossom pattern inside out to the same red shade as the hood.

“It would look pretty suspicious if we just showed up when our class was in danger, now wouldn’t it,” Marion fasten the yellow belt around his waist, slipping his baton into the holster and pulls on his on his boots, hopping slightly.

“I think you just want to be a vigilante,” Marinette takes his Red Hood jacket, flipping it inside out to black with yellow trim.

“Well, it’s exciting isn’t it?” Marion takes what would usually be Mainette's skirt, flipping the pink inside out to the green and unzipping it along a black line, “We get to test out our skills without miraculous, and we don't have the fate of the city resting on our shoulders,”

“You could a least try to take it seriously,” Marinette flips her beanie inside out to the black side. Pulling it on after the severed hood, lining the holes up with her eyes and pulling the hood up.

“I am taking this very seriously,” Marion says with the biggest grin. Taking Marinette's infinity scarf, running his hands across it to find the secret fold. Flipping it inside out to a green with yellow and black trim. He pulls it over his head, yellow stripe to his hairline.

“Whatever," Marinette fastens her holster with a baton around her left leg. They both pull on their black gloves. "Lets go,”

Marion transforms back and opens a portal to a rooftop far away from the hotel. They take off across the roofs, using their batons to pole vault across alleys, to land on roofs and fire escapes. As they race, taunting each other, they survey the streets below. Marinette stops, crouching down as Marion catches up. A young woman was being chased by two thugs.

“Let’s go,” She whispers, using the fire escape as a firemans pole. Marion follows suit.

They land in the alley as the girl gets backed up against a wall, clutching her purse. She looks straight at them, Marion gestures her to stay quiet as they sneak up behind the thugs. Marinette takes the one on the right, as he lines up behind the left one. Marinette attacks first hitting the right one over the head with her baton.

“What the-” Marion cuts the left one off by sweeping his legs with his baton, sending him crashing to the ground. He pins them down, tying his wrist together with one hand, “You little fuc-”

Marion stuffs the mans own hat in his mouth. He then ties the crooks legs together for good measure. He looks over to Marinette, her thug unconscious, she was comforting the victim, offering her a cookie from a hidden pocket.

“Thank you,” She takes the cookie hesitantly.

“Not a problem,” Marinette gives her a winning smile.

“Wow, this is really good,” She mumbles, with her mouth full, “Um, who are you,”

“Don't worry about that,” Marion slings his arm around Marinette, "We're just your friendly neighbourhood strays,"

“Ignore him,” Marinette pushes his arm off her, “Do you want us to walk you home?”

“Uh- yeah, thanks,”

“I love your outfit by the way,” Marinette tells her, as they leave the alley way. Marion walks behind calling the police to come pick up the thugs, explaining what happened.

“Hey, can I get your number so the police can get your statement later?” Marion interrupts, as they follow the girl to her apartment.

“Of course,” He hands over the phone, letting her hang up.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” She hands back the phone, Marion walking on her other side.

“We’re new to town,” Marion smiles at her.

“I can tell,” They both give her inquisitive looks, “You’ve smiled more in the last five minutes than most Gothamites do their whole lives,”

“You’re exaggerating,” Marinette chuckles.

“I’m serious, you’re going to blind someone,” She laughs with them.

They walk her to her apartment, holding polite conversation the whole way.

“This is it,” She announces, “Thanks again,”

“No problem,” They both say, turning to leave.

“Wait…. Um,” They both stop looking back at her holding her phone, “Can I get a picture?”

“Of course,” Marion bounces over to her, Marinette taking the other side.

They give the same big smiles they do as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Marion throwing up bunny ears behind Marinette's head. They say goodbye and run off to find someone else to help.

“Whatcha doing Tim?” Dick looks over his shoulder, still in his Nightwing costume fresh from patrol.

“I ran into some French students who were left behind by their class at the airport,” Tim scrolls through a word document, complete with pictures of smiling teens doing a mixture of charity work and sports among other activities. “They won the Martha Wayne educational trip, I was just looking through their entry,”

“They got left behind, in Gotham?”

“That’s what I said! I actually caught them just before they got in a faux taxi,” Tim reaches the end of the rather long essay.

“They could have been mugged, or kidnapped!” Dick slams his hands down on the desk.

“I know , Dick,” Tim rubs his face, “The worst part is they didn’t seem at all surprised about it either,”

Dick leaves Tim to his work to change, muttering to himself.

“Is everything alright, Master Dick?” Alfred appears with food for after patrol.

“What if it happens again?” Dick asks.

“I assume you’re referring to the lovely twins Master Tim met at the airport?” Alfred nods knowingly, Dick nods back. “Well hopefully something similar doesn't happen tomorrow for their tour of Wayne Tower,”

“.... Alfred can you place me in charge of the tour?”

“Consider it done, Master Dick,” Alfred leaves him to get changed.

He finishes changing into regular clothes as the Batmobile pulls in. Batman and Robin exiting.

“We need to discuss security measures for the upcoming concert,” Batman tells the room, they gather around,

“MCD is known for his advocacy of superheroes, so we can expect a few villains to make trouble,” Tim pulls up a picture of MCD with MDC as they walk down the red carpet for some event.

Dick is amused that the picture he pulled up had them in Batman and Robin themed outfits. MDC wearing a beautiful black dress with the bat symbol subtly incorporated into the bodice. Her dress trailed behind in sharp points like Batman’s cape. MCD was wearing a suit with a red shirt, his tie green and some yellow detailing.

“You are going to be professional aren't you?” Damian gives them both pointed looks.

“Whatever are you talking about?” Dick asks innocently.

“You two are always jabbering on about these two,” Robin glares.

“We do not-oh that reminds me, if we’re going to be guarding this event we have to invite Jason,” Dick addresses Bruce.

“He is worse than you two, going on about that interview,” Damian must be rolling his eyes under the domino mask.

“Come on little D. how often does your celebrity crush like you back?” Dick smiles, remembering the night Jason called him yelling in excitement telling him about the leaked footage. He had also asked him to get Tim to find out who leaked the footage and have them fired.

“I don’t know and I don’t care,”

“As for actual security measures,” Batman redirects the conversation.

“Master Jason has arrived,” Alfred reports, coming to stand with them.

“Speak of the devil,” Tim mutters.

“BRUCE YOU MOTHERFUCKER,”Jason bursts into the bat cave, “I need to know these things!”

“We were just talking about the concert,” Dick tells him.

“What? No! Why didn’t you tell me you adopted more!” He yells at Bruce. “I need to know when you’re planning to traumatise more kids!”

“Jason what are you talking about,” Bruce only lets a hint of irritation into his voice.

“THis,” Jason slams down his phone to a screenshot of a tweet. It showed a picture of a boy and girl, both with black hair and blue eyes, following Tim into a limo. Written underneath was;

Wayne Twins? How long has Bruce Wayne been keeping them from Gotham? Are they adopted? Or could the Family resemblance be more than coincidence?

#wayne twins #Bruce Wayne's secret children #aren’t they just adorable

“What is this?” Bruce asks Tim.

“They’re the one who won the Martha Wayne educational trip, their class left them at the airport, I gave them a ride,” Tim briefly explained, noticeably omitting the taxi part.

“Wait so you didn’t adopt them?” Jason picks his phone back up.

“No, Jason, I didn’t,” Jason’s eyes narrow.

“... Are you going to?”

“... No, I’m not,”

“Keep an eye out,” Jason not at all subtly whispers to Dick, “He hesitated,”

“What are we going to do?” Damian cuts their growing argument off.

“We could release a statement?” Tim suggests.

“Drawing attention to it will only fuel the flames, let’s just let it die out,” Bruce decides, getting nods of agreement.

“By the way Jason, we were talking about security measures for the MCD concert,” Dick changes the topic.

“Without me!?”

They go back to making security plans for the concert, including Jason.

“I think we should have someone inside,” Jason looks over the blueprint of the venue.

“Of course you do,” Damian remarks snidely

“You little-”

“Bruce!” Superman's face pops up on the main computer, “You can’t just take in new kids without warning!”

“They aren’t my children,” Bruce clenches his fists, “The pictures with Tim are taken out of context,”

“What? I’m talking about the new Robins-,”

“THE NEW WHAT!” Jason and Damian shout at the same time.

“What are you talking about?” Bruce probably asking that question more times today than he would like.

“Uh, this,” A picture is sent through a screenshot of another tweet that was steadily becoming viral.

The picture had two teens in masks on either side of a civilian, giving the biggest smiles that had probably ever grace Gotham. The boy giving the girl bunny ears. Underneath was written:

Almost got mugged tonight and was saved by these two. Didn't tell me their names. They kinda look like Robin right? Also they gave me a cookie? It was actually good too.

#new Robins #Robin #Batfam #OMG their smile are pure sunshine #send help I might be blind

239 notes · View notes