#I don't know how to end this

[mistywaves98]

hiii im new too your page and i just ADORE your work like seriously your one of my favorite writers but imagine brat tamer scaramouche putting reader in their place with a tiny bit of dub-com !!!!

Aww thank youuu!! It makes me so happy to see that people enjoy my works! But brat tamer scara 👀 also I'm soo sorry I have this just sitting in my drafts for so long

Brat Tamer! Scaramouche x Reader

¡Warnings!: Dubcon(?), Brat Taming, Spanking, Choking, Bondage, Biting (you bit him), Stubborn behaviour, Thigh riding, Fem! Reader, Sub! Reader!

Minor writing smut! DNI if uncomfy!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

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If there was one thing Scaramouche hated, it was disobedience. So it's not surprising that you found yourself in the position you were currently in, bent over his knee as he smacks your ass raw. It hurt, you would be lying if you said it didn't, but no amount of pleading would make him stop. But did you really want him to stop? Your pussy is dripping and you both know that. With each slap he delivers he degrades you for being such a whore, getting off of being punished.

Tears fall from your already tear stained cheeks with each harsh sentence that he spat at you. You weren't sure how long it was before he finally decided to sit you upright, his thigh between your legs. You winced as you felt searing pain from your behind, the effects of the spanking making it rather difficult to sit still.

Suddenly you saw Scaramouche take out some rope from somewhere and binds your hands behind your back. You struggle, not wanting to be restricted like this and besides, the rope was uncomfortable against your skin, it also didn't help that Scaramouche went out of his way to tie it as tightly as it could be. You whined how to material burned your skin as it rubbed against it, only to receive a slap across the face in response.

'Are you going to shut up now? Or do I have to stuff that mouth of yours with something as well?' You shut up alright, but that didn't stop the tears bubbling up from the corner of your eyes as your cheek stung from the impact. Suddenly he pulled you in for a rough kiss, forcing his tongue into your mouth. You frowned and tried to pull back, determined to not submit to him. However he held your head in place by placing his hand behind your head and grabbing a tight fistful of your hair.

Then you did the only thing you could do, Bite him. He pulled away immediately (his hand still grasping your hair), hissing in pain. He felt his tongue and saw that his fingers were covered in blood. Scaramouche glanced up to meet your stubborn gaze."Brat" is all he let out before grabbing your throat. As he brought your face close to his, you could see the pure anger swirling around in his violet eyes."After all that you still dare to defy me? Brats like you should have some sense knocked into them." His grip was so tight, you were unable to breathe. Black spots were clouding your vision and you were beginning to think you took it too far but just when you felt like you were about to lose consciousness, he stopped. His hand was still on your neck but oxygen was able to make it to your lungs.

Scaramouche watched as you caught your breath again, then his gaze trailed down to your legs subconsciously squeezing his thigh. It was covered in your arousal. You knew it too and your face burned in embarrassment so much so that the red mark left by his harsh slap earlier was nearly invisible. His expression turned into one of disgust."You're really getting off to this? Such a whore. But in that case, I think I will let you finish yourself off on my thigh."

Now he was smirking at you. You knew if you wanted to cum you would have to do what he said so you pathetically attempted to move yourself along his thigh but barely managed to move two inches. It was humiliating and Scaramouche's smug and scrutinizing gaze made it worse. Your bound hands made it difficult for you to do much and all you could do was cry and continue trying to get yourself off.

Scaramouche on the other hand was absolutely loving the sight before him. Seeing your bratty and stubborn act break and crumble in front of him brought him pure pleasure and satisfaction and seeing your unsuccessful tries at making yourself cum made his smirk stretch just a bit wider."Aw, poor whore can't get herself off and needs someone to help her?" He asked, a fake tone of concern lacing his tone.

You brain wanted to say no, but your body said yes, you were just so desperate at this point. Finally letting go of whatever dignity or pride you had left you mumbled,"Yes, p-please help me out," "What was that?" "Yes please fuck me Scaramouche! Please, make me cum!" "That's more like it."

Then he gripped your hips and started moving you slowly against his thigh. The friction felt so good. Picking up the pace, you soon found yourself moaning in pleasure as the knot in your stomach grew tighter. "G-gonna cum..!" "Do it. Make a mess all over me." And so you did. Your release completely soaked Scaramouche's thigh and the surface he was sitting on. Your eyes were rolled back into your skull and your tongue lolling out of your mouth with drool running down your chin. The sight looked so lewd.

Suddenly he grabbed your cheeks and made you look him in the eyes,"Did you learn your lesson?" You felt to dumb to respond and only nodded slightly, mind still spinning from cumming.

[ricesoupremacy]

have a seat child lemme tell you a tale

ok so we’re doing this

@thepermanentscowl i'm just going to post this here because...no one looks at my blog anyway lmao and i don't care

i'm just going to pray i don't look back at this and regret telling you embarrassing shit but fuck it we ball and also i trust you.

warning: this is probably going to read like a shitty cringy school fanfic (look i have girl friends who use wattpad so i am cursed with knowledge okay) but this is absolutely 100% true.

warning #2: there’s a lot of meandering but i won’t apologise because. it’s my story and i’ll tell it however i want.

warning #3: if it seems like it gets a bit dramatic towards the end it’s because i got sad.

overall warning: very long. unedited. full of random shit. read at your own risk.

ANYWAY prepare yourself to read a love story better than romeo and juliet, than jack and rose, than even twilight. prepare to read the most beautifully tragic romance ever.

where do i begin.

Ok so when I was in fifth grade, I had the misfortune of somehow landing in the worst class an idiot child like me could end up in. I was never the “quiet kid”- on the contrary, I was always the one jumping on tables and getting sent out of class- but being with people like my classmates made me a Sad Boi for a whole year. You know, 10-11 year-old kids who’d just realised romance was a thing and who felt the need to incorporate it into every aspect of their dumb almost-middle-school lives. Every day was ‘OoOOHhHh wHo dO yOu LiKe’ or ‘oOOOhHHh wHo ArE yOu LoOkInG aT’. I couldn’t really blame them for getting over-excited, maybe I was just boring for my age. Anyway, I morphed into a kid who spent his lunch breaks sneaking books from the senior library and consulting a mini Oxford dictionary whenever I was in doubt, which was often.

It wasn’t just the teasing that got on my nerves, it was that my classmates were those pre-adolescents who’d later grow up into those wannabe Am-EHRIK-en teenagers- thinking they were so cool and sporting superior ‘Oh you don’t watch so-and-so hot boy’s Youtube channel? How saa-yad.’ airs that made me want to gag. I digress but whatever.

Needless to say, the Oxford Pocket dictionary was my best friend that year.

From a kid who ran into school bright-eyed and beaming every day, I turned into one who dreaded the prospect of entering a class with fresh hormone charged, irritating-beyond-words kids who were more concerned about some low-life’s Youtube tutorials than playing Tag. I did not care about next year. I was going to stay a silent emo kid planning murder at the back of my class forever. Was…what I thought.

___

I hadn’t even bothered to look at my 6th grade class list properly when we went for the end-of-the-year PTM. I was mildly surprised that I’d been shifted to a class with a completely different set of kids, many of whose names were unfamiliar. It’s probably going to be a repeat of last year, I thought. Whatever, just keep your head down and find something good to read. And let them think you’re the snooty class-topper who looks down on everyone else. You don’t care what they think of you, anyway.

Those were the sunshiny thoughts running through my head when I walked through the corridors on the first day of sixth grade, ignoring the kids running around and chattering happily with their friends, completely oblivious of the fact that one of those kids was running way too fast without looking- in my direction. Next thing I knew, I felt a body slam into me, knocking me to the ground. I fell on my school bag, the other kid fell on top of me. He immediately got up, but I barely saw him. I was too busy opening my bag to check if my books were okay- and they were, by some miracle. No damage. It was only when I breathed a sigh of relief that I became aware that some kids were asking if I was alright, and the boy who had run into me was apologising profusely and looking very guilty. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the boy warily. Wildly curly hair, glasses askew, shirt untucked. He looked like one word- trouble. ‘It’s fine’, I said to him. ‘I’m fine. Stop saying sorry.’ He looked relieved.

I got up and began to walk to class. The boy fell into step beside me, and said ‘You’re Arya, right?’

I looked at him, surprised. ‘Yes…how do you know my name?’

He seemed excited for some reason. ‘Um, I saw you at the inter-house Spell-Bee last year. You were really cool. I didn’t even know half the words,’ he grinned.

I looked at him properly for the first time. He came to my shoulder, he had brown wide eyes, and he spoke really fast and animated, like an RJ.

I found myself grinning back at him. He had the most infectious smile.

‘I’m Vishwesh!’ he said very excitedly.

‘Sounds like “fish”’ was the first, highly intelligent thought that I blurted out and immediately hated myself for saying. What the hell, I thought. WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE THEY JUST MET?!

Vishwesh stared at me. Then he laughed. ‘You’re right, it does. Hey, you can call me that if you want.’

I was confused. ‘Sure? You want to be called Fish?’ 

‘It sounds funny. I’ve never had a funny nickname. And we’re in the same class.’

We were? What a coincidence. At least there seemed to be one guy I could be friends with.

Fish walked me to our class, talking about last night’s cricket match that I hadn’t watched. I decided that I liked his voice. A little higher than most boys our age, frequented by voice cracks. His constant stream of chatter was weirdly soothing. I usually got really annoyed by people who didn’t know when to shut up (still do btw).

We climbed up the last flight of stairs and stood at the doorway. I stared.

The first thing I saw was a boy standing on a table and scream-singing “Thunder” while a bunch of other guys ran around him like they were summoning a spirit. The second thing I saw was a group of girls throwing a tennis ball at each other. One of them threw it a bit too hard (obviously, an accident. Obviously.), and it sailed out of the class and hit our (female) chemistry teacher- who was flirting with our (male) biology teacher- right in the face. The chem teacher stormed into class yelling at the girl (who was making a heroic effort not to laugh), while the bio teacher took the opportunity to go pasta la vista, and the demonic chanting of “thu-thu-THUNDAH” just grew louder. It was the most chaotic scene imaginable. Fish looked at me and chuckled. ‘Better get used to stuff like this.’

I almost shed tears of joy.

I’d finally found my people.

___

Surprising most people including myself, Fish and I got along like a house on fire. Classic anime trope- short idiot delinquent boy who’s actually really nice becomes besties with the tall brooding introverted topper (not to bRaG). We bonded. Even though we were…different. He was fun. And he brought back the dying fire of fun in me.

I also became pretty close to the aforementioned Thunder-boy and Tennis-ball-girl- their names were Tanmay (yes, that guy with the plane and bomb knowledge) and Nadia. Who were. Also grade toppers. Somehow.

Apparently Fish had joined the previous year and had become fast friends with Tanmay.  The kids in their section hadn't been shuffled at all, except for me. I was the only one who didn’t already know everyone. But that changed pretty quick. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, it felt like I’d known them for ages. Especially Fish (which is what I ended up calling him all the time).

Initially, I got the feeling Tanmay disliked me (he did). I felt this hostile energy radiating off him whenever Fish started fanboying about Eminem to me. I guessed he felt a bit put out that his best friend had betrayed him, but it’s not like he completely ignored Tanmay. I tried talking to him too, but I was often snubbed. Idiot. Anyway, I soon used his weakness (Imagine Dragons) to charm my way into his heart and boom, Tanmay suddenly loves me. The three of us became a really tight friend group. But Fish and I always did practically everything together.

I guess it was because we complemented each other really well. Fish was absolutely reckless, and he needed moi to make sure he didn’t kill himself (mom energy lol). I’d grown too withdrawn, and he helped me loosen up. And we both loved cricket.

Once, we were hanging out near the school swimming pool. It’s open and the adjoining compound opens into the school owner’s mansion. The brick wall that separates the school and house isn’t high, but no nut would dare trespass.

Except my nut best friend.

He was trying to show me this trick with his ID card, and accidentally flipped it too high. It sailed over the wall and onto the owner’s manicured lawn. We both looked at each other. Before I could say, “Don’t even think about it,” Fish had taken his shoes off and hauled himself up with the agility of a small monkey, and jumped to the other side. I held my breath and waited, and soon his head popped up over the wall, followed by the rest of his body. He sat there and swung his legs, and we realised that he’s made a Miscalculation. See, the owner’s plot was a level higher than the school ground level. So he could jump to the other side, no problem. But he couldn’t jump back to this side without breaking his ankles. So he had to carefully turn and feel for a foothold on the brick wall while hanging precariously by his fingers.

Climbing down a wall is often a much more terrifying ordeal than climbing up one, especially for a barely five foot tall child. He tried to act cool but I could see his hands tremble. Fish’s foot was just a few centimetres above a hold he couldn’t see. He gingerly placed one foot on it. Then the other.

Then he slipped.

I caught him.

I staggered back, but somehow, somehow, I didn’t lose my balance and fall and kill us both. I set him on his feet.

He beamed and waved the retrieved ID like a medal. ‘Mission accomplished.’ I laughed.

‘Thanks, dude. I thought I was gonna die. When the hell did you get so strong?’ He punched my shoulder.

‘I’m not strong, you’re just small,’ I grinned and ruffled his hair.

Fish scowled. ‘How dare you insult me? I’m not small, you guys just grow abnormally fast.’ He said that in a highly offended voice, but he was smiling.

‘Who said I was insulting you? Being short isn’t a bad thing, you know,’ I was still grinning at him. ‘Short people are cute.’ And with that I slapped his back (not gently). He howled with pain, scowling at me when I laughed at him. In revenge, he pulled my cheeks really hard. Normal affectionate guy behaviour. I almost threw him into the pool, but a P.E teacher caught us and took us to the headmistress for “causing a ruckus”.

The consequences when she found out Fish had climbed into the owner’s compound were…not pretty. I was let off because I didn’t technically do anything lol.

I don’t know why I typed out that (painful) incident but I just remembered and it was funny. And it proves the point of Fish being An Idiot who would do anything without hesitation. We did a lot of shit together. Good times.

Sixth grade was really fun, it helped me go back to being the silly kid I had always been. Even the girls weren’t jerks like the ones in my old class, they were really chill and funny. Before I knew it, the academic year had ended.

Through that summer, I desperately hoped I would have the same classmates. Sometimes my school would shuffle random classes, and the teachers had threatened our Very Disciplined Class that we’d all be separated in seventh because no one could handle such “hooligans”. I don’t know why they would say that. We were absolute Sweet Children™. Anyway, the gods must’ve taken pity on me because there was absolutely no shuffling in seventh, except one new girl who’d joined that year, and she was nice enough. I was over the moon.

Teasing and shipping was prevalent even in sixth, but it was never beyond a limit. I didn’t care about it.

If it was even possible, Fish and I grew closer that year. Both of us had grown, but I was still taller. I was one of those kids who shot up in middle school but stayed the same height after that, while all the other guys grew taller than me in high school. Sad.

___

There was a sort of cult that started in sixth and continued in seventh- the Percy Jackson cult. Everyone in my class was reading it, almost at the same pace. I started reading it late, so by the time I was done with The Last Olympian, most kids were already on The House of Hades. But I was fast, and I was catching up.

Since everyone was reading pretty much together, they all reached one scene in HOH before me. And that scene created a HUGE uproar.

I remember walking into class from the bathroom one morning, and Tanmay ran to me like Sonic and yelled ‘DUDENICOLIKESPERCY’.

‘What?’ I said. ‘Nico? The Hades kid?’ I still hadn’t started HOH.

‘YEAH, HE HAS A CRUSH ON PERCY. LIKE, HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM.’

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Okay.’

To be honest it didn’t exactly shock me or anything. That a guy could like another guy. I didn’t understand why Nico would like Percy of all people but hey, I get it. Percy is Percy. Apparently the Cupid scene became the most disliked part of the books, because soon everyone was cussing at him and crying over Nico. Someone engraved “FUCK EROS” on the wall. I visited my old class a few months ago, and it’s still there. Nico was a really popular character in my class so. I guess the reaction was understandable?

‘Hey, stop spoiling it for him!’ Nadia (best girl friend) scolded Tanmay. ‘He barely started Heroes of Olympus, how would he understand the context?’

‘Wait, but Percy’s still dating Annabeth, right?’ I asked. They nodded. ‘So…it’s a one-sided crush? That’s…sad.’

‘I knowwww, right?’ Nadia sighed. ‘I hope he gets a boyfriend by the end. My poor boy deserves it.’

‘Apparently he dates Will Solace,’ Tanmay added very helpfully, before either of us could stop him. ‘And what do you mean, “my poor boy”? He’s older than all of us, he’s not your son.’

Will Solace, the Apollo kid? Damn, I thought, while Nadia and Tanmay started fighting over spoiling stuff before reading them yet again.

‘Anyway, did you expect that? Nico being gay?’ Tanmay seemed unable to let this very interesting topic go. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I got the impression he liked Annabeth.’

Tanmay was going to say something, but Fish entered the class just then. He ran to him and repeated the question with the same enthusiasm. Fish didn’t really seem to care; he was more worried about a math test he did not know was going to take place until two minutes ago. 

He walked straight to me and asked me to write all the formulas for the chapter on the board and explain some tough sums to him. ‘Why do you always ask Arya for help with homework and stuff?’ Tanmay raised an eyebrow.

Fish and I blinked at him. ‘Be-cuhhhhhhs he’s smart?’

‘Well, so am I!’ Tanmay said indignantly.

‘Are you seriously jealous?’ I snorted. T glared at me. ‘Even…even Nadia’s smart, why don’t you ask her?’

Fish looked at Nadia. ‘Uhh she is, but, I don’t know?’ He grinned. ‘Are you jealous?’

Tanmay was considering the both of us carefully. ‘Nope.���

‘Great,’ Fish said, pulling me to the whiteboard and shoving a marker into my hand. ‘Then let me get the help I need to pass.’

___

Middle school boys have the irrational urge to seem cool physically (for the girls or for their own egos, who knows), which is why arm wrestling became a favourite pastime at some point. Teacher disappears for five seconds, you suddenly have an arm wrestling ring in the middle of the classroom.

I took part in them too. I guess that moment when the back of your opponent’s hand makes contact with the table filled me with some sort of heady joy because I wasn’t necessarily the strongest guy in class. I’ve heard girls snicker that arm wrestling is just an excuse for guys to hold hands and I wonder if that’s true lol. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.

I don’t know if my feelings for Fish were purely platonic at this particular point, or ever. I don’t think I’ll ever know.

Some people talk about a moment when they “fall in love”. I don’t know if I believe that. I don’t know if it’s actually possible. But I guess this is close enough for my “at that moment…I knew”.

It was a free period. I was arm wrestling with Fish. The class was cheering. I was winning easily.

Fish was frowning from exertion. ‘Damn it,’ he panted. ‘Have some pity on me.’

‘If you’re going to try and distract me, it won’t work.’

‘You’re clearly winning, there’s no point anyway, Ari.’

‘Ari?’

‘Heh, like Ariana Grande, no?’

‘“Ari” means “rice” in my mother tongue.’ 

‘Then we make a pretty good South Indian meal together, eh?’ (Rice and fish curry. Both of us are South Indians)

I smiled, but said nothing, just concentrating on his arm inching closer to the table with every passing second.

And then he did something that knocked the breath out of my lungs.

He said my name.

Okay I- I know that sounds crazy. Fish must have said my name a gazillion times before. But somehow…when he said it then…the world stopped for me. I know it sounds cheesy as hell. But. Just. The way he said it. The way he just quietly said ‘Ah-Ree-Ah’ as if to himself, those three ordinary syllables that made my name, as if he was trying out their taste on his tongue and he wasn’t sure what to make of it, as if he was trying to see if it sounded special, as if he was trying to find something in it-

I went still, boisterous class and stupid wrestling match be damned. I stared at him as a shiver ran down my spine and something went tight in the base of my neck. He hadn’t noticed. He was able to gain on me, slowly pushing my arm down as my grip and my concentration wavered. The class whooped at this plot twist, oblivious to my internal panic.

But it only lasted a second.

I pushed down viciously and slammed his arm onto the desk as my friends erupted into cheers. Fish winced slightly and flashed his signature lopsided grin at me. ‘Good match, dude. You work out or something?’ He joked.

He didn’t seem to know what he’d done to me. For one second, I hated him with an intensity I hadn’t felt in a while. For one second only. Then I was flexing my wrist and laughing with him like nothing happened.

___

I guess some part of my brain had dimly registered that this was probably what kids were constantly snickering about- a crush. Did I have a crush on my best friend? When did this happen?? I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I wasn’t sure it even mattered.

Maybe I was just a tiny bit more jumpy around him now that I was maybe sort of aware. Maybe I was a tiny bit scared. Of what? I wasn’t sure. Of him? Of myself?

I didn’t care.

He was still my dumb best friend. We still hung out. Nothing mattered. Nothing was ever going to change. And I didn’t mind that. As long as I could laugh at him making a fool out of himself and help him with math and create stupid games together, I didn’t mind.

It wasn’t going to make a difference.

___

Around the middle of the academic year, I began to notice a slight change in Fish’s behaviour. He started being more…touchy-feely? I mean, most guys in middle school (and forever after that too, actually) have zero regard for personal space around each other. Drape your arms around your bro’s shoulder, he won’t mind. But now it was different. Maybe it was because I liked him and hence was hyper-aware of every tiny thing he did, but I noticed. For starters, he jumped on me. Literally jumped onto me from behind. A lot. Then I’d give him a piggyback  ride to wherever. As bros do. I thought I would get used to it but he always managed to take me by surprise and almost kill me lol. And there were other things. He’d grab my wrist or my arm a lot.

As the year went on, the stomach-somersaulting sensations got worse. And I think sometimes, I ended up staring at him like an idiot without realising it. Embarrassing.

I don’t know what Tanmay is made of, but man figured out something was up very quick. I finally worked up enough courage to talk to him because I was a confused muddle of emotions and I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I told him I thought I might like Fish. Yes, might like. I think even though I’d sort of accepted it, I didn’t necessarily want it to be true, if that even makes sense. I was in denial, basically.

T listened to me rant and stutter without a word. Then he asked me a really simple question that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered earlier- ‘Do you feel the same way around Vishwesh the way you do around other guys? Like me, for example?’

Of course I didn’t.

‘Dude,’ Tanmay wasn’t even trying to hide his smile. ‘You like him.’

I said something intelligent like ‘Uh. No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know. Shit. I don’t know. At all.’

Tanmay rolled his eyes. ‘Okay, I was wrong. You like him a lot,’ he corrected helpfully.

I consider myself lucky to have him as my friend.

___

Tanmay promised not to tell anyone, but with the way I was acting and with the way Fish was suddenly…different somehow, other kids caught wind of something. They talked. And, yeah, we were shipped. Kind of. I didn’t like it only because Fish got all uncomfortable and then he’d get mad. He stopped jumping onto me like a monkey. He stopped sitting near me. All that, I could deal with. Quite honestly, I didn’t blame him for that.

Then he stopped talking to me.

He’d straight up ignore me. And obviously, that made everyone talk more.

There was a new girl I mentioned, who joined our class that year? Suddenly, she became besties with him. And he’d always talk to her very pointedly while she giggled and shit. I don’t care that this is the jealousy plot of every gay romance ever- I was burning with jealousy.

If he wanted to play like that, fine. I didn’t give a damn.

I ignored both of them pretty well.

I was angry. I was angry at him for caring so much about what we looked like that he found the need to convince other people there was nothing between us. If there wasn’t, then what was the point anyway?? Was our friendship really that fragile that one barely considerable “rumour” reduced us to strangers trying to get each others’ attention by not giving each other any attention?

And then there was the girl. She was fine when I first met her, but maybe I was just pissed off in general, but she started to piss me off more. That was probably unfair because she didn’t even do anything except talk to him when she knew I was looking.

Tanmay seemed very amused that I didn’t know what was really going on. ‘She likes you, duh.’

‘She what now?’

‘Classic girl trick. Give your best friend more attention than you to make you jealous.’

‘That…is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.’

‘It’s girl stuff.’

‘I don’t get girls.’

‘Yeah I can see that,’ he laughed. I glared at her. I saw her blush and that made me angrier. She did make me jealous- jealous of her.

‘You need to stop hating on her.’

‘It’s her fault.’

‘You know that’s not true.’

‘I know…I just…this all sucks.’

‘Maybe you should stop being such a jelly little boi.’

‘I am not being a “jelly little boi.’

‘Don’t lie to meeeeee, someone’s jellyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-’

‘Please stop-’

‘aRi’S JeLLyYyYyYyyYyy- wait. Oh. My. God.’

‘What?’

‘I just realised…if you’re jelly…and he’s…Fish…’

‘Oh my god don’t you dare-’

‘The both of you make JELLYFISH AHAHAHAHAHAHA-’

‘I hate you.’

___

So. Yeah. Nothing really improved after that. Fish still avoided me like the plague. I caught him looking at me sometimes. I pretended not to notice. But on the inside…I missed him so much it physically hurt. I didn’t get why shit had to be so complicated. I wished everything would magically go back to the way it was.

Tanmay still hollered “JELLYFISH” at us sometimes. He liked to embarrass us that way. Maybe it was his way of trying to get us to laugh about dumb shit and talk again. I appreciate it, but it never worked.

Until the last day.

I will never understand why I chose that day of all days to confront him. What a crazy coincidence.

10th March, 2019.

Home time.

Kids were walking out of their classes, bags slung on their shoulders, happily going home. Like any other day after school ended.

Fish was walking out, too. I watched him. He resolutely turned the other way, his footsteps measured.

I couldn’t take his shit any more.

I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around to face me.

He was still shorter. His eyes, wide and brown, didn’t sparkle with mischief the way they did when I first looked into them.

I yelled at him. I shouldn’t have. But I yelled into his face about how he was acting like a dick and how I just wanted to be friends again and how he was acting stupid and it felt like he didn’t care about me at all and that I trusted him and if the thought, the thought grossed him out so much, that he and I could be-

I ran out of air. I just looked at him wordlessly. I didn’t know who I was angry at.

He looked back. He didn’t have anything to say either.

His silence infuriated me more than anything he could have said. I was about to turn away-

when he caught me. He caught my arm. The way he used to.

I froze.

I couldn’t breathe.

The sound I heard next shattered the horrible silence…and my heart. (dramatic music intensifies)

Fish sobbed like the world was going to end.

He was clutching me tight, so tight it hurt. The front of my shirt was wet- with his tears. I felt dizzy. What the heck was going on? If anyone should be crying, it should be me-

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered into my shirt. ‘I’m so fucking sorry, Arya. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry.’

I can still hear him say those words, clear as day.

The next thing I knew, we weren’t hugging anymore. The image of his tear-streaked face was plastered in my mind as I staggered out of school and walked home, the only depressed soul amidst a crowd of cheerful middle school kids.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

Because the next day, school announces shutdown due to a positive COVID-19 case on our street. And that shutdown was followed by a nationwide one.

Idiot messages me two days later saying he’s moving away to another country and he didn’t want to tell me because he was being an asshole and he felt miserable overall.

I wasn’t even sure I was angry anymore. I was so tired of being angry at him. I was…sad I was the last one to know. I was sad he was moving away. Sad that things seemed to end like this.

We never really talk about that. I don’t know if we’re pretending it never happened, or we’re just acknowledging that neither of us really knew what the heck we were doing. Stupid middle school shit. 

We talk now, and I don’t like him like that anymore. Out of sight, out of mind and all that I guess.

That doesn’t stop me from wondering What if? though.

[boku-no-anime-phase]

RGU (revolutionary girl Utena) spoilers incoming

(yes I'm spoiler warning a show that's like 25 years old. What of it)

So i know that it's hardly fair to compare an artist's crowning achievement, widely regarded as one of the best anime ever written, with a cash grab made by art-destroying, soul-crushing Mouse Company.

But I'm going to do it anyway.

Let's talk about twist villains and betrayal in Revolutionary Girl Utena and Disney's Frozen!

Much has been said about Mouse Company's Frozen (2013). Someday i will talk about my deep and abiding hatred for the film from a story standpoint, but today is not the day i get into all of that. Somehow the whole thing basically was controversial when it came out?? But my least favorite thing, and a lot of other people's least favorite thing, was their super shoddy twist villain.

Now it's been a while since I've seen the movie but as far as i can remember, before the literal moment of betrayal, the audience is given basically no clues that Hans might not be a good dude. People have said, like, "oh well he's wearing gloves and in Disney movies that means someone has something to hide" and girl i gotta say, i think you're reaching. Besides - what's he hiding??

People have said this better than me, but the right way to implement a twist villain is in a way where, when the twist happens, it makes a horrible kind of sense to the viewer. If someone can see it coming before it happens, that's actually a good thing - that means that there are enough clues that observant audiences are keyed into who your characters are and where things are going. That means you're doing good writing. If people can't tell where you're going and you slap them in the face with the cold rotten fish of a bad twist villain, they'll feel betrayed alright, but not the betrayal you want them to be feeling.

Again, hardly a fair comparison I'm making here, but let's do it anyway. Let's talk about Anthy in RGU.

Anthy is a mystery. She's a maze of conflicting desires and loyalties. Right at the end of the show, when things start to come into focus and what you've been observing for the last like 36 episodes starts to make sense, you begin to realize that she's been doing what Akio wanted her to do, the entire time. You hope and believe that, when it comes down to it, in a test of loyalties, Anthy would choose Utena.

But she doesn't.

Anthy's choice shocks the audience, but it's accompanied by the horrible realization that we should have seen it coming. It's one of the most revealing character moments in the entire series. We realize that we, and Utena, have miscalculated; and Anthy's other choices come into better focus for us.

We wouldn't expect Anthy to betray Utena. And yet when she does, it makes perfect sense.

That's how you stab your audience in the gut 👍

[onceandfuturemoron]

let me share your pain

a Merthur soulmate au I don't know what to do with:

Merlin is Arthur's soulmate. But he's not Arthur's manservant and he's not even in Camelot. And they share their pain. And in this particular case their strong feelings. Merlin has magic. But people always react bad to his magic. They banish them from cities and villages. Or worse they take Merlin and torture him. And Arthur feels it, and it scares him because he knows that this pain is not from battle or a simple street fight. He knows his soulmate is being tortured. And he's just a teenager. They always have to run. And when Arthur's a kid and still doesn't know everything about soulmates, he often feels fear without any reason. And when he grows up and finds out about this bond, he starts to worry for his soulmate.In one of their runs, Hunith gets badly injured. And they're near Camelot's borders. So Hunith tells Merlin to go there cause she has a friend there who can help them. And they come to Camelot. When Merlin and Hunith walk in Gaius's chambers, Arthur's already there, talking to Gaius about his soulmate, that he's so worried and scared and in pain. Gaius cuts him off and runs to Hunith, they put her on the bed and Gaius starts taking care of her wounds.Merlin doesn't leave his mother's side and he's close to tears cause he's afraid and thinks it's his fault that his mother's like this. His own leg is in a bad condition and it hurts him but he doesn't talk about it until Gaius's done with Hunith. Gaius asks him about his name and how they ended up like this. Merlin doesn't know how much he can trust Gaius and his mother is asleep so he doesn't say much. Arthur's still in the room. There's something about these newcomers that he can't quite figure out. But he feels that his soulmate is less worried, still scared but a little relaxed and Gaius is busy so he leaves the physician's chambers.

Hunith gets better and they decide to stay in Camelot for a little while. Hunith tells Gaius about Merlin's magic and the things they've been through and Gaius feels really bad for the boy. Merlin doesn't talk much, and he still looks at Gaius like he's waiting for him to turn them in. And Gaius completely understands. And sees Balinor in Merlin, how he was so brave but always protective. He really likes Merlin, he is a clever boy, he's good at picking herbs and talking care of small injuries. Arthur also likes the boy.He's quick, clever, kinda mouthy, a bit of an idiot but there's something in his eyes that shows he's really brave, that he's a real fighter if he decides to be. So he stops him in the public, Merlin talkes to him unlike any other person that he knows and he can't put Merlin in a certain column and he likes it. But when Arthur challenges him to a fight, he backs away and Arthur feels fear and he knows it's about his soulmate, he knows the feeling of it after all these years. And he sees fear in Merlin's features too and he feels a rush of excitement at the possibility of Merlin being his soulmate, but he can't be sure. Merlin is really alone, it's another thing that Arthur's found out about the boy. He has his mother but no one else. Arthur doesn't have friends either. But he has Morgana, the knights, sir Leon that is like an older brother to him, not that close but really loyal. He feels sorry for Merlin. So he decides to be a bit kind with him. He offers him to use the castle library and very soon finds out that Merlin's interests are medicine books. They become close without being aware of it but still everytime Arthur asks about Merlin's hometown and childhood, he changes the subject. Arthur's happier because lately his soulmate wasn't so scared and worried and it's been a good long time since Arthur felt a serious pain. So he's in a good mood.Until...There's a young man, arrested for the crime: sorcery. And Uther orders to execute him. Hunith and Gaius don't want Merlin to see this, but they can't find him. Merlin's been in the woods that morning and when he comes back he sees the execution. He saw torturing, damn he experienced it and he knew about execution but seeing it is another thing. It breaks Merlin. Arthur notices this change of mood in both his soulmate and Merlin immediately. His soulmate is scared, really terrified that this fear even has physical effects on him and he feels pain in the chest and terrible headaches all the time. And Merlin refuses to see him, Gaius says he's sick but Arthur doesn't believe him so one day when he knows Merlin's alone, goes to Gaius's chambers. Merlin's in the small room in the end of chambers, Arthur walks really slowly and quietly cause he wants so know what Merlin's doing. Merlin's shirtless and when he turns around, Arthur sees many scars and wounds on his pale skin. It scares Arthur, why does Merlin have so many scars? And why are like torture wounds?

Merlin doesn't look very good, he looks paler, he has dark bags under his eyes, and his hands shake so badly that he can't even hold his book. He puts the book on the bed and suddenly he bursts into tears.Arthur's so confused and he doesn't know what to do. Merlin looks terrible and he IS terrible. So he just goes out of the physician's chambers but he can't get it out of his mind. The picture of merlin, shirtless, with all his scars, his shaking hands, his terrible appearance, his sudden cry keeps playing in his mind. What has happened to merlin? And how can Arthur help him?And on the other side, he has his soulmate in the same situation and he really doesn't know what to do. Merlin's life and everything fit perfectly in his soulmate's character but his father always told him he has to let go of his soulmate and he was never happy with Arthur's extremely powerful bond with his soulmate. And he's so afraid of the idea of Uther hurting Merlin that he doesn't want to connect the dots and conclude that Merlin and his soulmate are the same person.

[moa-broke-me]

Y'know, one sort of petty thing that I really hate about the right's distain for public education is that it conflates any criticism of the public school system with support for their horrible ideas.

Like, the way that we teach kids leaves little room for nuance, discourages curiosity, and is generally counterproductive to the development of the cognitive skills they need to navigate the modern world. The push for more standardized testing puts unnecessary stress on students and teachers alike. The focus on discipline, obedience, and graded performance creates an environment of fear, resentment, and inevitable apathetic burnout. We know all of this. We know that schools need to change.

And yet, who tend to be the loudest, most enthusiastic, most obnoxious voices in the room whenever the subject of the flawed public school system is mentioned? Conservatives.

Who are the ones we think of when we think of 'alternative schooling'? Conservatives.

Who are the people that are pushing for changes to the curriculum right now? Con. Fucking. Servatives.

[ororosmunroe]

this is evening has been so wild...

i get off of work. my uber driver asks me how my new year’s went. i answered thinking it’s nothing.  It was cordial for like... a minute and then we get into awkward territory. 

i mention how i lost stormy, he talks about how he had to leave russia because of the kgb and had to leave behind his german shepard. he was able to meet his dog again but then his brother...idk...he blamed his brother and they  basically told each other that if they ever saw each other it would be on-sight. 

okay. 

then he talks about a bird he had. his mom wanted the bird so he gave it to her. the bird got sick because she didn’t take care of it. he takes it back but then his wife leave the window open and then the bird unfortunately freezes. 

i don’t know how to respond to this other than saying, aw that’s awful.

he says he has two kids.  his boy is 17 and wild so he’s , in his own words, like a pet. 

Then that’s when we go off a cliff. 

he then asks me what I do, if i’m married, do I want children. 

i’m answering reluctantly because this is getting kinda invasive.  

He’s telling me that he’ll find me someone.

Then he asks me my age and my dumbass says my age. 

“31? Oh I like that” 

I laugh because it’s either that or start crying. 

But then he’s asking what I’m looking for in a man (the answer to that is silence but moving on) 

He supplies me with qualities, like cooking etc. 

I answer, Uh that would be nice. He laughs. Happy. 

We finally get to my place. And then he drops the bomb. 

He asks for my number. 

I’m want to jettison myself out of the car. but oh wait. the car door is locked and I don’t see a manual latch. 

I tell him i’m not looking  to date (also ESPECIALLY NOT AN OLD MARRIED MAN)

He then asks me if I want a friend. No Sir. I do not. i have enough of those. Thank you. 

He finally unlocks the door. i get out and I speedily walk to my door. 

He waits. I can tell he’s still behind me in the car. And I open the door and he finally leaves. 

2nd day of 2023....OOF.  

[taleofharrison]

So I have a small idea/concept Eddie x theater kid!reader. This is all during Eddie's first senior year so reader and him are the same age.

You try to convince Eddie to audition saying it would be fun or at least volunteer to work behind scenes to spend more time together

Eddie says no saying that environment it's not his thing

Still if the rehearsal schedule matches with his D&D campaigns he'd wait for you and drive you home

He goes to every single one of the plays you're in even if your part is tree #4

When you both are in your senior year you get the lead role in the school musical and try once again to get him to work behind the scenes at least

This time he says no cause he really wants to graduate and he's struggling with Hellfire Club, his band and school

Your study dates are him helping you learn your lines and you helping him study for his finals

He's there on opening night front row with a big bouquet of flowers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[whimsiigothic]

cw: mention of pet loss, me being a crybaby

so. i am 22yo, and i have a 19yo cat. she's been around my entire life and i literally don't remember a time before her. i love her more than i can put in words. the love you can have for pets is the only existent unconditional love, in my view.

although she's 19, which is A LOT for a cat, in my heart she's still my baby.

but i know she's old. the unavoidable is coming, and it shows.

she's having trouble walking, besides being on some medications for a couple of years already. she's not suffering, thank Gods, it'd pain me too much if she was. but i know her fluffy body is going to slowly give out.

i've cried rivers at the thought of it. i've taken more pictures of her as the time progresses and yet escapes from me. i've written her snippets of poetry i wish she could understand.

she's still around, but i can't freeze time. even though i came to terms with it, it's still so devastating. months ago i wouldn't know how to say goodbye if it happened, but it's not so much the case anymore.

i just. i don't want to.

she is my first pet. she's been by my side through so much, through what i thought, with 100% certainty, was going to be my end.

it's okay if she leaves. i just want her to know she's loved. i don't want her to feel pain or fear. i pray to Freya and Hel to take care of my baby. deep down i know they will.

meanwhile it's all bittersweet, isn't it?

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

[solarmorrigan]

“Oh shit, what’s wrong?”

Steve watches, horrified, as Eddie reaches up with his free hand to swipe at the moisture gathering beneath his eyes.

“Nothing, man,” Eddie croaks, and Steve doesn’t believe him for a moment.

“Did I hurt you? Is the bandage on wrong? Too tight?” Steve becomes aware as he speaks that he’s all but clutching Eddie’s hand in his own and makes a conscious effort to loosen his grip.

This only seems to make things worse; Eddie makes a noise of protest and grabs more tightly to Steve’s hand and then looks twice as mortified as before, and that’s not at all what Steve wants.

Changing Eddie’s bandages is a goddamn ordeal; there are so many of them, and they seem to be everywhere, and Eddie doesn’t have the good drugs anymore, just Tylenol, and he’s always exhausted and sore by the end of it all. Steve doesn’t want to make him feel worse.

He would start fixing it, if he only knew what he’d done.

“Eddie,” he says softly, “please tell me what’s wrong.”

Eddie shakes his head, swiping under his eyes again. “It’s seriously nothing, it’s stupid. It’s just…” he hesitates, and Steve squeezes his hand encouragingly. “It reminded me of my mom, what you did, with the little – like, the little kiss on the bandage when you finished putting it on. She used to do that.”

“Oh – shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, overstep, or–”

“You didn’t–”

“I thought it would make you laugh or something, not drag out some sad memory, and–”

“Steve,” Eddie cuts in more firmly, “you didn’t. I’m not fuckin’ sad, it just – kinda hit me weird. That’s all.”

Steve purses his lips, staring up at Eddie from the kitchen floor, where he’s been kneeling in order to work at the bandages. He’s not sure if he should get out of Eddie’s space now, maybe give him a minute to himself, because Eddie is still holding onto his hand, and Steve still has another bandage to change out, and then Eddie rolls his eyes at him.

“Stop looking at me like you ran over my dog, man. I swear to god, I’m fine. It was kinda nice, actually, alright?” Eddie huffs. “Like, I forgot about that, until you did it, so it was– it was kinda nice.”

“Oh,” Steve says.

“Yeah. So do you think we could just…” Eddie gestures at his cheek with his free hand, and Steve nods.

“Yeah, lemme– I’ll finish up.”

The bandage on Eddie’s cheek is the last to change out, and Steve tries to make it quick. He has Eddie hold his hair to the side as he works, mostly to give him something to do with his hands – there are a million hair ties still floating around the house from before Robin cut her hair (Steve finds more every time he vacuums, he swears the things multiply in the dark), but Steve’s found that giving Eddie some kind of task keeps him still while Steve deals with disinfectant and gauze.

He's gotten the process down to something simple and efficient, and it feels like he’s done too soon. Eddie takes a sidelong glance at him when he takes his hands away, though he’s obediently holding still until he’s given the all-clear.

“Done?” he asks.

“Almost, yeah,” Steve says. “One last thing.”

Slowly, in case Eddie wants to pull back, Steve leans in and presses a featherlight kiss to the center of the bandage, holding his breath in shivery anticipation of Eddie’s reaction.

“That alright?” Steve asks quietly.

“Uh.” Eddie drops his hair and turns to look at Steve, eyes wide but dry this time. “Yeah. That’s– Actually, no.” Steve’s stomach drops when Eddie shakes his head, but then Eddie goes on, “I think you should do it one more time. Just, like, to make sure it works.”

“Yeah?” A slow grin curls over Steve’s face as his stomach makes its way back up from where it had landed near his ankles. “I think you’re right. Better safe than sorry.”

Steve leans in again, giving the bandage a quick, gentle peck. Then, because he can’t quite help himself, he presses another kiss to Eddie’s chin. And then, because they’re right there, pink and inviting and slightly parted as Eddie watches Steve with rapt attention, Steve presses one last kiss to his lips.

Eddie barely has time to return it, but he laughs when Steve pulls away. “Pretty sure my mouth was never injured, Steve.”

“You sure?” Steve shoots back.

“I mean– Well, you could check,” Eddie offers.

“Yeah, I could,” Steve says, leaning back in for another kiss – one that he thinks should be much more thorough.

All in the name of proper care, of course.

[Prompt: Kissing your partner's wounds]

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[deadpoets]

DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir