#I don't really want this to be discourse but I just have a lot of emotions

[annabelle--cane]

the asexual double edged sword is that a lot of people, particularly queer discoursers(tm) online, are really really rancid about ace people who have sex, I mean like stunningly awful, so naturally sex favorable/indifferent asexuals will be very keen on making sure that they aren't erased within their own community and that people at large know they exist. at the same time, people are also Very Bad about ace people who don't have sex, and sex averse/repulsed asexuals face a lot of pressure both on societal and interpersonal scales to submit to sex that they don't want, and so naturally it'll really rub them the wrong way to constantly have "but don't worry, ace people can still conform to the societal expectation!" appended to their PSAs about their experiences of asexuality. and so everyone's just kinda upset and annoyed all the time when instead it should be peace and love on planet ace.

[badboyfriends]

Hi, so I'm very late but I saw a post about pride which led me to Ranboo now using he/they (!! which is so cool) and that led to the mcyt tag and apparently there was a Dream-GNF-Wilbur situation?? I don't have other socials and a lot of what I am finding gets Tumblr Vacuumed :tm:

I have no idea what's happened and I guess it happened long ago enough that there isn't new things or explanations?

Sorry if this isn't clear, but you're really good at explaining things and I'm very confused

im not trying to be mean anon but i cannot believe that this is a message i am getting in june of 2024 ? like. jaw dropping. ok. Ranboo has used he/they for like.. a year and a half? i think. anyway

Dream is just... generally annoying honestly. he can disprove his grooming allegations as much as he want but he still has said really weird stuff to teenagers and im still not convinced he wouldn't fuck his fans. he has too many allegations to even process.

GNF "joked" during a charity stream of a Techno memorial charity event about how he all the money they are RAISING FOR CANCER should go to him instead. He also got an under-aged girl (18) drunk and proceeded to grope her, claiming he did not realize she didn't consent. when again, she was underage, drunk, and never verbally gave permission, which she COULDNT DO because she was intoxicated. source

Wilbur, who i prefer to call William Gold or "abusive asshole" is an abuser who admitted to being an abuser and who's only defense is that he thought she consented. he was too much of a coward to even say her fucking name. Shubble hadn't named him out of fear, but he came forward shortly after with a horrid fucking statement.

several people confirmed Shelby's story of abuse, and everyone from SBI to people who formerly worked with Lovejoy have confirmed him to be a manipulative shithead.

i'm glad you think i'm good at explaining things but all of this stuff is SOO old. here's some good resources, and i'd recommend looking up "(name) situation" for further insight or looking up the discourse tag on my blog. i am so over all these fucking assholes

[marzipanandminutiae]

Re: age preferences in shared housing.

I'm in my mid-30's in a VHCOL city and have lived with anywhere from 2-7 roommates for my entire adult life. At this point in my life, I would prefer not to live with someone in their early 20's. It has nothing to do with age-gap discourse and everything to do with the fact that I am old, cranky, and tired.

I was not a good friend in my early 20's, and there was a lot of learning and growing that I would do over the next 15 years to make me a better person today. I have no problem having a coworker or friend who is in that life stage, but it is another thing entirely to have it follow you home. (I recognize that bad roommates come in all ages--I am talking about the specific learning experiences that come with living on your own for the first time, like the 23-year-old who did not understand that the city in fact WILL shut off your water if you buy weed with the money your roommates give you to pay the utilities.)

That being said, we don't list a specific age preference in our posting. We are far more likely to describe the current makeup of the house as "quiet, clean professionals in our early-to-late 30's, prefer dinner parties to house parties" and let people self-select out.

We had a very nice 22 year old guy interview a few years ago, and on paper he would have been a good fit (quiet, clean, stable job). However, he brought his mother to the roommate interview, and all of us kind of balked at that. We were not interested in living with his mother and had concerns about how he would handle conflict/communication without bringing his parents into it.

I would consider interviewing another candidate in their early 20's again, but not without reservations.

(Please do not read this as combative--we are typically on the same page about most things. I just wanted to offer another perspective from someone in a similar housing situation.)

I appreciate your perspective! And I think we're on the same page about this, too.

The key here, IMO, is what you said a few paragraphs up- it's not really about age, but behavior. Someone on their early 20s is statistically more likely to be in their Partying and Irresponsibility Phase, but it's not a guarantee. My worst problem housemate was 35 (expected everyone to cater to intrusive needs they had not expressed in the initial housemate interview and walk on eggshells around them; fell back on their trauma as an excuse when we politely tried to have open conversations about the issues at hand, as a house where everyone's wellbeing was taken into account). And I've lived with some extremely conscientious 22-year-olds. A few more tidy than I am, in fact.

Also, what I've seen more of is twentysomethings who don't want to live with anyone older, not the other way around. Which I'm struggling to interpret in any manner besides the discourse-adjacent Anyone Over 25 Having Contact With Anyone Under 25 Is Creepy. I guess they might be trying to be considerate if THEY want to party, but like I said, these groups are mostly more on the hipster queer student side.

[dungeonmalcontent]

This is a post about pride month.

I'm hesitant about getting into any discourse or conversation regarding lgbtq+ matters. I don't consider myself cis or straight, per se, but I very much live that way and am fine with it. Clinically, I am cis and straight; but sometimes I think just barely. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, about who I am, and about how I really don't like labeling myself as anything. Perhaps I think I might fit best under fhe non-binary umbrella, but, again, my thinking about this has been mostly inward and so I don't know what to even call what I've been doing let alone anything about labels I might be under the umbrella of. Hence my hesitation being outwardly involved in this discourse; I am not well read or experienced, though perhaps I am better read than some.

But, because this is pride month, I want to be very clear about something. No matter what month it is, no matter the day, no matter who you are--as long as you are willing to be kind, you are welcome at my game table. You are welcome here. I try to pay particular attention to what I write and create, whether that be d&d content or fiction, in regards to sensitivity. I have no intention of harming or insulting anyone ever and I hope that counts for something. I've been called out before for being cavalier about things regarding gender, sexuality, and disability and I've grown from that and I hope I grow further.

I know many people have flocked to d&d as a community and as a hobby because it feels very inclusive and so this may not seem like a particularly meaningful statement to be making. But I feel it should be said anyway. I am not and will not be performative about the way I treat people.

I hope everyone feels loved at home and at their game tables this month and every month. And while I can't really afford to make or send everyone a fresh loaf of bread or warm cookies or something to make sure that this hope of mine manifests, know that I would cook something for you (yes you) because that is as close to a love language as I have.

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[untherapized-eddie]

i've always felt that shannon dying allowed some fans to romanticize her character a little too.

[lilywhisperer]

So fucking pissed at people who say that hyperspecific labels “make the queer community look bad” or “is just pure attention seeking”, NO MF I JUST LIKE HAVING A NAME FOR THINGS I FEEL.

Like, my situation with gender is so fucking complicated that having a person coin something such as “dazegender” was so good to me, and I still have a complicated relationship with gender !! I’m so glad for whoever coined the term “Omnisexual/romantic” because it would've been a living nightmare to do mental gymnastics to feel like I fitted pan or bi.

“But those are spectrums” do people treat them as such ? Do they really ? Plus it's just difficult to my head to grasp the concept of “spectrum” it either is or is not, that's how my brain works personally. (My brain needs to be able to name things, basically. And also to know exactly what to do, if we're talking about chores, per say).

In today's generation so many people (me included) just find it SO HARD to put their feelings into words that it is genuinely a blessing to have labels that can label what we feel so precisely (to us, at least), “but you're overcomplicating something that should be simple” feelings are so far from being simple, honestly, and what is simple to you may not be to me, and that's okay, just don't call me attention seeking or whatever.

Also, also !! Hyperspecific labels/flags just make me (at least) feel more validated, since it makes it clear to me that I'm not alone in the way I feel and it kinda validates me (in a good way) :] And it's the Queer Community after all, so I think it's past the time we start actually acting like that.

[petiolata]

hi! person u rb'ed the fandom gatekeeping post from. it was very much written with a specific situation in mind: people who haven't engaged with the source material directly (meaning no lets plays, no proper excerpts, nothing) who act as if they have an understanding of said source material. often leading to shit just being completely made up and treated like canon. less "couldnt play the game themselves" and more "is claiming to know all about a book that they admit to never reading". i was venting about people claiming certain things about source material, who then got mad at me for correcting them while admitting they never read the thing in question. i should probably be more specific in how i present personal posts bc i always forget anyone can see them lol

Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to clarify the issue. I'm fortunate to have never come across anyone like that myself.

[solvicrafts]

Personal pagan thoughts

There's this attitude that's circulated in the broader pagan community for quite a while that like... you either have to be a reconstructionist following one single pantheon or a fluffy woo neowiccan. Obviously not all pagans think that way and in more recent years I've seen more and more people step away from that mindset.

BUT

When I was in my early teens going from studying pagan cultures academically to kind of gradually starting to pursue paganism as more than just a niche interest, I was absolutely inundated with pressure to just PICK A SIDE and nearly 20 years later it's still an issue for me.

I've always felt this pressure to just conform and pick a side and be done with it. Put myself into a neat little box as un-offensive in design as possible and all that.

And the truth is I just can't do that no matter how hard I try.

And that's actually the main reason I don't often talk about my beliefs on here. Because while I've used "Hellenic Polytheist" as a label to describe myself and while it is more or less accurate, there's also so much more that goes well beyond that.

Basically... my beliefs and practices are messy. That's probably a big ADHD brain thing.

And I didn't start feeling okay with that until roughly this past year, when I finally started letting go of that pressure to fit into a neat label.

Are the Theoi particularly thrilled that I also have a budding relationship with a few deities outside their pantheon? Eh, probably not, but the feeling I get from them is that they're not terribly fussed about it. At worst I imagine them being like "yeah okay fine you can take my follower out to dinner just make sure you bring them home no later than 10."

Are the Theoi absolutely trembling with rage because I occasionally dabble in my own form of ~magic~ (but without that woooooo special K nonsense)? Nah, at worst they just think it's silly.

Do the Theoi give a shit that I sometimes incorporate imagery and themes from some of my favorite fictional settings into my practices? Again, probably not; those spider lights look damn cool on my shrine and as sad as it is that my khernips bowl broke this year, the spider-webbed replacement bowl is JUST as useful and pretty.

People act like the only legit pagans are the ones that are super serious all the time, NO FUN ALLOWED and like... yeah, okay, I'll admit that pagans can be reeeeaally cringe, but you know, I think it's okay to be a little cringe once in a while as long as you still remain grounded in reality (as in: crystals are not a substitute for modern medicine and sometimes that thing you think is a sign from a god is actually symptoms of a gas leak or something) and don't make a point of being an asshole, so what? Be cringe.

Maybe there's ONE TRUE RELIGION that has all the answer. Maybe NO religion has the answers. At the end of the day, none of us truly know. So why not have fun?

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

i do see a lot of interesting takes on here about other social media which i feel are heavily influenced by the fact that lots of people on this website maybe don't have many friends

[neverendingford]

hardwood comb project

I forgor to buy a lighter colored wood for the spine/core so I can't keep working on it tonight cause all I've got is the walnut.

[yrsonpurpose]

I guess I don’t understand Nick’s crickets when it comes to RWRB recently. I get not pushing for GLAAD votes because Bottoms is in the same category. But not even reposting about the podcast for the Emmy’s with Taylor? It just seems off. I know he has other stuff to promo but not even a mention. It doesn’t take a lot.

i don't tend to worry about these things anymore, and neither should anyone else!! nick is extreeeemely busy and even an appearance on that podcast was a bonus imho. (a nice fun unexpected one!!!) also there is the potential that rwrb emmy promo could clash with m&g emmy promo, so there might be a careful line to tread. you only have to see and hear the way he lights up in recent interviews when people praise his work for rwrb/henry so it's non-issue i think 😌

[grimark]

not that anybody asked but i do think terms like "cis+" or "cisn't", which i've seen thrown around in relation to the prev post, are a bit unnecessary. to me, it just seems like excessively atomising a fairly common experience, which is the desire to not be subject to the more uncomfortable and restrictive aspects of socially constructed gender roles. and sure, it might never even occur to a lot of cis people to do this kind of introspective analysis of their gender identities, and they might therefore be lacking some of the additional perspective of someone who has, but i don't think we necessarily need need a special new category for it. when you get down to it, "cis person who has previously questioned their gender" and "cis person who has never felt the need to question their gender" are both still cis, which in theory is a value-neutral description and a perfectly fine thing to be.

[rotisseries]

actually now that the clique thing is a few days old, i didn't really get involved for a reason and I don't feel super strongly in either direction

but I will say that like. while there's certainly a problem of less interaction on the fanworks/posts from less popular blogs, this isn't really a byler exclusive issue? this happens in most fandoms these days, interaction is just on a decline in general which IS. a problem but not really a "byler tumblr is cliquey" problem. in regards to any actual cliques I wouldn't say they don't exist but I don't think it's "the popular kids" themselves doing this. I don't know if the rest of you have some other bloggers in mind that I don't know about, but as someone who is mutuals with a fair amount of who I thought were the popular blogs, they are always very nice and welcoming to me, and actually easy to talk to once you just. see them and talk to them as a normal human and not an omnipotent fandom god. so this is all to say that if there's a clique issue I think it's from the outside. I think maybe people are perceiving these bigger blogs who all happen to be friends as these untouchable idols in fandom and it's. making it cliquey from the outside. like are they a clique or have you just convinced yourself they wouldn't want anything to do with you and isolated this group from everyone else. this isn't to say that people can't be assholes of course just that I don't think any of this is intentional

[sailorstarr-chan4]

"I don't ship this, but this was great/hot/cute/funny/I enjoyed this": Blessed. Beloved. The very essence of a compliment. You don't even go here, and yet you stumbled upon this anyway and gave it a try and enjoyed it!! That's fantastic!! Whether it's an one-time thing or you convert to the ship, that's flattering as hell 😍

"I don't ship this, but I like the style/idea. Why don't you ship this other thing? You should draw/write for this other thing" Rude. Obnoxious. The height of presumption. How dare. Piss off asshole, no one asked your opinion, you don't even go here. 😒