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horizon-verizon · 1 year

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Something that bothers me about DotD is that I feel GRRM doesn't help his case much if he means the reader to sympathize with Rhaenyra's cause despite her shortcomings with the nature of the trajectory he chooses for her downfall. Now I'm not at all saying it's wrong to show her as flawed person, with hints of era-typical bigotry. But her acts against Nettles etc. make a reading that she wasn't good enough to support her after all not uneasy, leading to sexist implications considering the theme.

*EDIT (5/31/24):

Doylistically

Rhaenyra suffers from really bad sexist writing on GRRM's, not just the maesters', part and it undermines his own point.* And no, she doesn't need to be necessarily "moral" like Dany to be a deserving ruler.

The point of her story was to highlight how no matter how good or evil or morally ambiguous a person you are, if you are female, you are subject to losing a power men are just granted. Or usurped. And this is inherently wrong. Rhaenyra chose to go to war rather than give up. This is valuable. Visenya was not thinking "for the realm" or for the benefit of smallfolk or outside of her family, yet she as so many fans bc she was not passive or restricted by "madness". She has less sexist writing.

*EDITED POST* (5/4/24)

Found this lovely post by la-pheacienne HERE, explaining how Rhaenyra's tragedy is an ancient Greek on as well, how Rhaenyra became what she was.

It's strange. The Dance is both very very simple, yet it presents interesting questions.

I go back and forth, bc I see GRRM's sexist folly AND some points abt how one evaluates and has discrepancies of the "worth" of a female vs male leader.

ESPECIALLY SINCE WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS BOOK, IN-WORLD, WAS WRITTEN WITH THE IDEA THAT FEMALE-RULER=BAD RULER=BAD-FOR-THE-REALM!!!

It's a story of two very flawed factions (one still, I think, in the actual wrong) vying for power, but it essentially is the bloody catalyst for the need of sets up the death of the dragons and Daenerys'/Rhaegar's existence in Westeros--Dany's being Azor Ahai!

Rhaenyra unequivocally relied much on on her posiiton and class privilege to carry her through, as many female rulers and nobles would because without it they cannot hope to have the power they often are denied. But bc this privilege comes with the price of some level of compliance with the status quo AND can make one develop forgo looking at things apart from one's survival or dignity, it can also lead us into hurting others like Nettles who would have actually helped us succeed.

"Nature" vs Nurture--Doylist 'nature' vs Watsonian 'nurture'.

What makes a person who they are? Their environment and history (the parameters and foundations for their decision-making), or just their decisions? Where is the line between showing a woman affected by her lack of political training (but still having to self-determine red/black dress moment and her drawing strength from her Valyrian heritage) AND showing her fairly as a person in her own right with many flaws? OR where do we realize that we ourselves are subject to making arguments based on principles we haven't learned are sexist in themselves?

And I am not a mother, so I don't know what it's like to lose not one but two kids in quick succession and under a year. There was a clear choice on GRRM/probably really Gyldayn/the story-teller's, part in making Rhaenyra seemingly "incapacitated" to be involved with politics after KL until Daemon left and she was left with the envious Mysaria (our Iago-figure) to have her fears played on.

We have to remember that this account is the least well-documented in F&B and the one with the most deliberately unreliable narrators with agendas in presenting some characters, esp Rhaenyra, a certain way. Septon Eustace writes Rhaenyra stuffed her face with pies AND that she cut her hand on the throne so the throne must have rejected her after landing in KL. This is most likely a retrospective exaggeration of the real situation out of spite AND plain slander, because:

even if she were eating a lot, it'd most likely be depression/grief/stress-eating and she had a lot to be worried about, her 2 sons died, PLUS she'd maybe eat her fav foods to feel more at the home that always should have been hers

we already heard the writers fat shame her for not putting off her pregnancy weight -- sexist patriarchal body standards ignoring real health & anatomy/medicine to affirm itself -- meanwhile Helaena & Aegon the Elder both were plump-fat, and we hear of no insults or repetitive notes about them?!

Eustace really hated her probably for not using him as he wanted her to or what he was used to as Viserys, Viserys' courtiers, & Alicent most often did PLUS Rhaenyra was ultra-femme, but was not demure nor pretended to be -- again, sexist standards of feminine behavior or presentation

Aegon IV was as unworthy a leader as anything we ever see in Westeros...yet we hear nothing of the throne cutting him...Aenys I? Maegor, and not in his death!; it's a chair made of literal swords...people are going to get cut; OR it never happened bc Rhaenyra was wearing armor at the time -- basically superstition needs to be logically analyzed before we go "that's symbolism!"

A) GRRM Othellos Rhaenyra...Kinda. I just See some Things that Remind Me of the Play

Here, we know Rhaenyra definitely ordered Nettles' death, this isn't a Gyldayn invention or misunderstanding for the "Othello-ing" I name. It is narratively important that Rhaenyra become a tyrant not bc she was an evil person or stupid from the jump, but because she is an example of one who didn't manage to work through her own fear, grief, and paranoia (caused by the system's constant failures against her) to do as Dany did and rely on compassion instead of fear to assure her survival.

Without as much proper or as-much-political/military training as Jaehaerys I's and Baelon and Aemon had--Rhaenyra was that much more vulnerable. BUT she also could have gained a lot of experience in ruling Dragonstone in all thsoe years (15-16, or 20?) alone.

Let's take the first scenario: To not be fully ready or developed enough to put up much of a necessary fight against those that would oppose her and dissolve further than the already shaky bonds between Targ family members that existed since (honestly) either the generation of Aenys' and Maegor or Jaehaerys I.

After adopting much of Andal/Westerosi noble customs and especially male primogeniture, the Targs began betraying its female members and underdeveloping them almost since its dynasty's inception.

So GRRM makes Rhaenyra's flaws a direct result of her generational deprivation and gender discrimination, coming from Maegor and Aenys, but at the same time, it seems he went too hard in the paint to make Rhaenyra a woman without some necessary sense to accentuate her victimhood by making most of the bigger strategic decisions the blacks make come from the men around her BUT he also made sure to clue us in on how Rhaenyra is not like Dany in that she ultimately chooses her class privilege instead of measured compassion to maybe save herself.

A question some may have: Why make your female character so flawed instead of making her more of a great & strategic or very compassionate foe to reckon with, which would further hammer in how unfair it was that she was usurped? We can extrapolate that GRRM not making her active enough (w/o her being a warrior necessarily, at least a strategist or bring one startegy up!) was just sexist of GRRM. this plus the sex abuse agianst her, We didn't need all that.

I mentioned how Rhaenyra serves as a way to re-contextualize Daenerys and the importance of ingenuity & compassion that will really carry one one into both personal and collective success/survival. (HERE is a Tweet by former brideoffires explaining).

Also, they both refuse to bow down to the oppressive standards of their time in their own ways. Even with Rhaenyra fighting for her claim and to protect her kids, she defying patriarchal restrictions of female leadership by refusing to just give up the crown despite the greens' usurpation and crowning Aegon. There is value in that, even with it going to war. Rhaenyra is an aspect of Dany's own struggles. She is where a woman in either position could falter. They share a pride needed to resist against those sociopoilitical circumstances and assert themselves.

Basically, Rhaenyra's most critical mistake and error and moment of self destruction was to accuse Nettles & use her own class privilege against a vulnerable. She relied on a thing that ultimately was set against her (you can't really separate the misogyny of the aristocratic class) to use against her "enemy", in order to feel powerful, even with her having been driven to that state from mainly others' desire for her throne.

After all, male claimants and rulers who are insane, predatory, or just weak are pushed towards the throne (Aegon the Elder, prime example for this story) all the time, so why not have a flawed or "mediocre" woman be the center of this story to accentuate the double standard held against her? To show how people like Cersei get...that, and what Dany as a woman could & has gone up against? Rhaenyra being as she was rather highlights how Misogyny doesn't care if you are a genuinely good person leader, one bad move, you're done. And Rhaenyra--to go back to the scenario abt "training" or if she did obtain "enough" experience, and even then we should wonder how much or if GRRM just wanted her to be that way for plot-sake--wasn't the most strategic, much of it due to her class entitlement. Which the greens share.

Men like Robert Baratheon, Stannis, Ramsay Snow/Bolton, or any of the current male Greyjoys who grew up in the Iron Islands? Even Canon!Jon Snow is better than most men of his time, but he is cruel when he thinks he has to be and has himself executed a child for disobedience and treachery. He also makes emotion-based/involved/inspired decisions (not often, but they exist), and he also makes mistakes. They get to hold positions of power without any added troubles (as Rhaenyra had) to the regular ones of greedy challengers or those resisting their plunder and reaping.

Why should we hold Rhaenyra to a much higher standard than these men, as much censure, as the fandom and canon society does? Especially since it's not really her story (overall), it's Dany's? None of the autonomously ruling female leaders of the story receive half as much censure for character or leadership skills (true or false) as those men I listed. Rhaenyra and Daenerys "Stormborn" Targaryen are usually the subjects, with some other Westerosi women as well, sometimes Catelyn even. All that is obviously due to misogyny, to this idea that because you are not the typical candidate or desired one for the position of power, you need to "prove" yourself to specifically those who get that power without having to fight that hard or experience the doubt of leadership similar to a woman.

In other words, trying to actually 100% buy into what the Westerosi male lords or what we think they'd want in a leader was never going to work for Rhaenyra. She kinda already did, and look where that got her?

How much of her paranoia (actually her breakdown) is understandable and consequential, as GRRM wants us to consider?

Gyldayn would say or think she should have been better, but considering what she was up against as a woman, does he really think he could do better? Or rather, how much do we excuse her for in lieu of her victimhood in the face of lifelong concentrated abuse and misogyny at almost every front?

Even if she had somehow quickly overcome her own grief in less than a year after both of her oldest sons died before she took KL, why are we so expectant of that? That's inhumane to me. Or I could be over emotionalizing it, idk & I don't think so.

And with the green having taken the royal coffers before they left, what would someone else have done under the immediate pressures of the lack of money, fear from smallfolk around the executions whose observations are charged and hate against the taxes raised bc of said lost moneys, and then the worst rioting exacerbated/caused by a crazy man most likely sent by the Citadel to turn everyone not just against her but all the Targs and destroy the dragons....

It's a lot all at once and something that not even Jaehaerys had to deal with, since:

Maegor at least was very dead by the time he actually got to KL.

The royal treasury was always intact AND he had Rego Draz (a Pentoshi man) help him develop his strategy of taxation, which encouraged the nobles to spend more....again in totoal PEACETIME.

since he was male, he never had to face widespread and local disfavor or contempt for his abilities (subtle or unsubtle) on account for things he cannot change or of beliefs against his gender, right to occupy a space, etc. as a woman does, esp a woman slotted to rule over other men -- people doubted him for his age/lack of experience, but they gave him more grace than they did Rhaena, his older sister

Finally, Jaehaerys may have lost two brothers (Viserys and Aegon) and a father, but Aenys didn't die by cold murder. His brothers we: A) don't even know he was close to or not, there were big age differences b/t him and them B) they were siblings, not one's children

Even without the losses of her kids, after a lifetime of having to decide how and even if one should try to legitimize oneself as one deserving of the same sort of respect and claims to power that another demographic just gets w/o trying--what does that do to the mind of a person, and under the pressures listed?

For Othello, it was using illusions and misunderstandings of adultery to put his sense of his masculinity in danger (as black masculinity is always put into question as being too "bestial" and inhuman, oversexualized--undeserving of the white chaste woman/high prize/object of white male power/public and political respect or "trust").

For Rhaenyra, it was her gender held against her AND then the betrayals, and she defaulted to feudal classism and misgynoir. Her conformity to that white female chastity of body and mind: what right did she think she had to claim power or herself without doing it in the name of a living "true" male heir/authority? And like Othello, she endured it her entire life, beginning with Alicent. At the same time, enjoying the trappings of a royal dragonrider who grew up believing that Targaryens were awesome beings who quite literally built Westeros the way it is?

That, I think, is what GRRM tries to create, this state of ethical "ambiguity".

It is true that compared to his other female Targ characters, the ambiguity is lacking because Rhaenyra is made too vulnerable to circumstances before her birth without her having quite enough substantial pushback or strategic will.

But Gyladyn wrote this book and we need to be careful with how he frames things or describes them.

This will read back and forth, because I think there are other merits in some criticisms of Rhaenyra's character and her characterization.

1. Maybe you can skip this if you have repetition

I think that GRRM does try to write her from that Shakespearean aspect of psychological ambiguity from Othello, but I kinda agree that the symbol of the hysterical woman unfit to decide important matters of community and state fits Rhaenyra too well, whereas Othello actively resisted Iago more than Rhaenyra did Mysaria or her other councilors OR better yet, why not subvert Shakespeare a bit and have Rhaenyra do it better than Othello and last longer?

But that could be bc its' a maester, GYLDAYN, writing this book as propaganda!

And comparing her to Dany, again, "really quick", for a reminder:

Even with Dany still existing and Rhaenyra losing, I'd prefer to see her still be more creative and active--just more engaged before more principal players in her camp betrayed her without her provocation, rather than just two dragonseeds when she had other dragonseeds with her and a full council (even if Celtigar had to go). Again, why not have her make one plan or get inspired once and have others refine that plan/beginnings of a plan? Perhaps make Celtigar the betrayer, so that she is faced with relying more on less conservative mindsets in her council? IDK.

(disagreement w/anon) But then this story would be so much less obviously confrontational, as I have already said above, 7 people are dumb:

the hate against her tells us much about other readers and ourselves as to what expectations we have towards men vs women put into situations like Rhaenyra's, where she's usurped on account of societal sexism AND one of her ancestors (Jaehaerys) making it that much harder for women to be considered fit rulers/inheritors of power.

Aside from her other mistakes:

not keeping close tabs on the greens while at Dragonstone so she'll be alerted to Viserys' worst days so she can travel back to KL and make sure the greens couldn't do anything w/o resistance -> 12/2/23 EDIT: Alicent wasn't planning the gathering the green council so much as improving immediately after Viserys died: her imprisoning Rhaenyra's supporters at court, her gathering the lords for the council, and her keeping it a secret Viserys died were all quieted events that she likely did not share with many people, maybe Otto and that's it. Not even Criston. These movements were what "saved" her the necessary few hours to get the jump on Rhaenyra; she would not have been very vocal or repetitive even if she did share her "plans" that could have been more wishes-turned-into action-in-the-moment than real, detailed, and prepared plans. So it's not that out of possibility to believe that even if Rhaenyra or Mysaria sent spies they'd pick up on this.

*not going to Jeyne Arryn after fleeing KL (this was a very understandable move to make, as she needed dragons & there was nothing left or safe for her back in KL)

Rosby and Stokeworth: for all that we say she was grieving, that Corlys/advisors pressured her, that she felt that the need for supporters around KL for the present dangers outweighed far-reaching ones for her rule later, she was still Queen and it was still a mistake because she needed to shore up female claims for herself and her descendants (two things can be true at once); this I see as Rhaenyra bowing to a real, concerning pressure that you may not think is heavy but is, and one can choose to "forgive" her for it or not and deal with the implications for either scenario because she was b/t having some crownlands close lords on her side while still in KL. Her ability to maintain herself on the throne depended on convincing men like Corlys/as many men as possible on her side. That's just the lot for female rulers of ancient, medieval, early-mod period patriarchal societies.

the dragonseeds & Nettles (nail in the coffin, the actual undisputed wrong)

I think that I can say that Rhaenyra was not the ideal leader in case of temperament or intelligence. She wasn't 100% dumb as hell by "nature" (whatever that is in ASoIaF), indicated by her making fewer mistakes before her sons died, but she still made a pretty dumb one before they died (#3 in the list above). She was purposefully made a bit more shortsighted than Alicent.

And here's another thing. She only started to be hated in KL after the taxes (that needed to be raised after Aegon/Tyland Lannister/the greens stole all the treasury money, even when he himself organized a feast celebrating Aemond and himself for Lucerys' murder and Aemond burned down one of the major suppliers of food in Westeros' "south" regions: the Riverlands and esp their farmer's villages and fields) AND when Larys purposefully spread rumors about her before the Shepherd came along and worsened it with his own misogynist rhetoric. Because all these beleaguered people wanted was to get out of danger and starvation, & when she couldn't immediately provide it, they understandably got riotous.

However, it is also true that with what she dealt with after taking KL--riots incited by Larys and the Shepherd, accusing her of killing Helaena; Larys taking out Maelor in the first place when he was perfectly safe in the Keep; being unsure of how long her followers would follow if she didn't at least comply with the Stokeworth and Rosby incidents.

And her moving to Dragonstone, to me, was not an absolute mistake or at least something she could avoid without losing another valuable thing. She and her family needed their own base, which is psychologically and politically true. But, again...not monitoring her father and waiting for the aftermath of his death at all, if that is in fact what she did? smh.

Why isn't it enough to know that she was unfairly usurped? Why do we look for the ideal leader in the woman during her own disempowerment, and not at how there is a difference in expectation for her versus her male rival in terms of competency?

Let's play a little here. Even if Nettles and Daemon did sleep with each other, it is very clear that the better strategic decision would have been to question her after all her true enemies were defeated and make use of her until then.

But, once more and as I say in this Twitter thread, the deal with Nettles was accompanied and carried by the already existing Targ-Andal sexist paradigm of legitimizing one's rule through blood-purist/sexist principles. In that way, canon!Rhaenyra was not that much more exceptional than other Westerosi women under the condition of pressure looking to shore up their own claims.

AND again, it's a maester, GYLDAYN, writing this book as propaganda against female rulership/autonomy!

The Dance, more than any other account in F&B, is the most unreliably told tale because its sources (Mushroom, Orwyle/Munkun, and Septon Eustace) all seek to besmirch or objectify Rhaenyra for their own ends and are the only ones that provide the "clearest" narrations for Gyldayn, another master, to narrate. And GRRM does it on purpose:

We only get specific events that are told through a hateful gaze; what other traits and behaviors Rhaenyra could have done or said, we do not have access to and sometimes must use context to conclude our best guess. Thus, Rhaenyra also feels, to the reader, as if she could be something more than what's presented. Unlike its male characters, the Dance account gives one-note descriptions of its adult female participants because women already do not occupy or perform the same public activities as their male counterparts and thus are given less attention, unless they are Rhaenys, Alicent, and Rhaenyra. And we aren't privy to their most vulnerable moments (unless they are likely made up to disparage them OR so public as to be noticed). Emphasis on it feeling that way. It is Mushroom who says that Rhaenyra was angry that Daemon disobeyed her about Nettles: "By evenfall, Rhaenyra Targaryen found herself sore beset on every side, her reign in ruins. “The queen wept when they told her how Ser Lorent died,” Mushroom testifies, “but she raged when she learned that Maidenpool had gone over to the foe, that the girl Nettles had escaped, that her own beloved consort had betrayed her ("Rhaenyra Overthrown")". Which I can believe, since it follows her need for backup that she lost in Ser Lorent and the lack of such backup due to Daemon's refusal to follow orders or allow her orders followed. I can see Rhaenyra being angry and feeling betrayed by that. But Mushroom, as ever, also injects himself where it is impossible that he'd even be seriously considered as her companion and confidante: "At dawn, a hundred men attended her in the throne room, but one by one they slipped away or were dismissed, until only her sons and I remained with her. ‘My faithful Mushroom,’ Her Grace called me, ‘would that all men were true as you. I should make you my Hand.’ When I replied that I would sooner be her consort, she laughed. No sound was ever sweeter. It was good to hear her laugh" ("Rhaenyra Overthrown")". So is Mushroom using the hypothetical event where Rhaenyra was angry with Daemon and raged at the defiance, or did he make it all up to aggrandize himself and establish an intimate relationship with Rhaenyra for the audience, what we the readers are faced with? I tend to think the former because my idea of Rhaenyra and her tyranny coming from grief-misogyny follows such.

this is the event (the civil war/the Dance) where the women, the center, the moment of Targ history where the dragons and life-supporting magic were lost and started to die without its matriarch, occurs when the would-be autonomous female heir loses her power? Not a coincidence -> context and ratcheting up the stakes for Dany, bc what would the reception to her be like?

And again, without a closer look at her upbringing, with all these people telling her story in their way and with their own agendas and misogyny....well it's hard for me, the reader, to totally devote myself to writing Rhaenyra's comparative simpleness to just her being her and it not her developing herself to what was available to her.

Another theory is not a theory, it's obvious. Rhaenyra is a character developed after Daenerys was created and Rhaenyra is not meant to surpass Daenerys in military leadership acumen or potential (because she grew up in a context where Targ women lose much power and go untrained) AND he is mean to be her "sword", her "Visenya". Again, GRRM might have gone a bit overboard...but he's not terribly wrong.

Also, once again, they both refuse to bow down to the oppressive standards of their time in their own ways. Even with Rhaenyra fighting for her claim and to protect her kids, she defying patriarchal restrictions of female leadership by refusing to just give up the crown despite the greens' usurpation and crowning Aegon. There is value in that, even with it going to war. Rhaenyra is an aspect of Dany's own struggles. They share a pride needed to resist against those sociopoilitical circumstances and assert themselves.

If Dany didn't exist, I would have preferred to see a more non-motherhood sense of responsibility, a more altruistic side of Rhaenyra (that still doesn't outperform Dany).

6. (inspired by & courtesy of brideoffires's post HERE)

It's not a coincidence that more female Targs display the most pleasure and affinity for dragonriding:

Rhaena (Alyssa's daughter), who after bonding with Dreamfyre came more into herself and bestowed her siblings with dragon eggs so that they themselves would bond with their dragons sooner and thus would be one self-possessed early on to even become rulers

Alysanne, who cried when she couldn't ride Silverwing anymore

Saera, who would have tried to bond with a dragon and ride to freedom

Aerea, who claimed Balerion and also rode to escape her damaged mother

Daenerys Stormborn, who restored dragons to the dynasty with fire and blood (blood magic & bravery)

Rhaenyra, who became a dragonrider at 7 years old

Rhaena (Laena's daughter), who also managed to have her egg hatched when no other dragon existed

Rhaenys (Jocelyn Baratheon's daughter) protested in favor of her unborn child and died with her dragon

Baela, who fight a usurper on behalf of her stepmother and lost her dragon but made sure to give Aegon the Elder much more injuries that turned him inside out enough to be so contemptible to be put down by his own followers

and Rhaenys the Queen, who loved dragon-riding the most of her siblings despite not being a warrior like her sister, yet being the literal mother/direct ancestor of the entire dynasty

Yes, you have male dragonriders but looking at Targ history, who usually has a closer metaphorical relationships with the Targ dragons? And after who, chosen by right, was usurped because she was a woman, and whose kids then continue the line?

Notice how a running theme is motherhood as well? In ASoIaF (all of it, not just the novels) GRRM is fixated on motherhood and a woman bringing forth new/restored things. Or when she's stifled from doing so. Daenerys is a prime example. She brought dragons back when Aegon V tried and failed, when Aegon III tried and failed and when Aegon IV did a mockery of it by trying to take Dorne. Rhaenyra gave birth to accomplished people (Jace, and Viserys II) and became a mother to two more (Baela and Rhaena). Again, it is through her that the Targs can even continue. Yes, Daemon is the father, but he wasn't made heir--Rhaenyra was--and Jace would have been a good king. And she was fertile, having birthed five kids and safely. Unlike Alysanne, who had many miscarriages and stillbirths and infants dying before they got to 3.

Conclusions

Again, I go back and forth, bc I see GRRM's sexist folly AND some points abt how one evaluates and has discrepancies of the "worth" of a female vs male leader.

Rhaenyra is a good example of a victim who wasn't necessarily a good person or an ideal ruler and neither was she a horrible ruler or an evil person (until Nettles).

GYLDAYN is writing this book as propaganda against female rulers/women having power that men traditionally are granted and have. But GRRM still puts Rhaenyra through a lot of abuse without coming up with more than 1 or 2 ways to avoid or resist them (red-black dress; moving to Dragonstone, we don't see her try to manipulate Viserys..etc.).

Some come away with the feeling that Rhaenyra has less depth because she relies on her heritage and the fact Viserys bestows her: What else, other than her Valyrian heritage and her kids, keeps Rhaenyra going, they may ask? Similar to Dany, Rhaenyra uses the fact that she does come from Valyrian dragonriders and conquering Targs to validate to herself that she deserves to fight for the throne. Differently from Dany, she does this with the fact that her father clearly named her heir and would have given it with his own hands.

This is what rhaenin-time says in this reblog:

It just rings so familiar to real-world politics and conversations. How many people with reactionary/conservative politics have we all encountered who, instead of arguing about why their stance is better, start to nit-pick inconsistencies and hypocrisy in liberal and leftist stances, even though what they offer is far worse? Because they're not saying their side does not have the same problems. They're saying those problems are natural, those problems cannot be resisted, that anyone who tries and does so imperfectly is a hypocrite, so you're a bad person for trying at all.

At the same time, I've also felt the frustration with the negligence of some more personal depth that is similar to women like Visenya or Rhaena (the Queen Dowager).

Again, to repeat myself (from point #4), it all comes from the desire for the alternative leader to the conservative type to be morally better than them for the greatest possible change. But we already have that in Dany and Rhaenyra is only mean to serve as to re-contextualize Dany & hammer in how she is so important.

Rhaenyra's one main "flaw" (shaped by society/history) is that she was blinded by her need to self-assert herself above all else in the face of her dissenters...since childhood and never developed past that crutch partly bc that was where she was.

*EDIT* (8/21/23):

THIS is a great post by @mononijikayu about medieval queens, female rulers, the history of how women in leadership positions were made and seen as threats to the very structure of social "order", and contextualizing Rhaenyra thru Empress Matilda. I didn't even know about Matilda's husband being comparable to Rhaneyra's Daemon! PLZ READ!!!!

Excerpt:

just as much, along with these fictitious portrayals, more lies are depicted. these women are considered vixens that cause havoc to men by shifting them into desires and danger. through the written word, we see how women are cast in roles of villains in men’s lives. it is because by their conclusive thoughts, women are the only creatures that are able to turn ‘good honorable men’ into despicable creatures who do shameful, deplorable acts for the sake of women’s pleasures. [...] it is within this narrative that ancient chroniclers declare that women were in fact the doom of men. if they were not able to control the dangers posed by the wiles of women, then the foundations of the mighty society they had built would be up in flames. [...] as i mentioned, these factors of community are written down and preserved. and with that, the example of the ancients were the foundations by which medieval society built itself. the same concepts continued to cause the same issue within society and that was the exclusion of women from participating in the bigger picture of community and state, much so with governing states in their own right—without judgment or disapproval.

#rhaenyra's characterization #rhaenyra targaryen #asoiaf asks to me #rhaenyra i #fire and blood writing #fire and blood characters #grrm #grrm critical #rhaenyra and motherhood #asoiaf motherhood #asoiaf themes #asoiaf dragons #rhaenyra and feminism #othello #shakespeare #character comparison #fire and Blood #asoiaf #asoiaf and feminism

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Interviews with Monster Girls and Approaching Disability

Content Advisory: I don't know what I'm doing here when it comes to talking about disability, so I'll probably say something stupid. Sorry in advance, all I can promise to do is my best. Likewise as a straight cis man I can't talk about the Gender Stuff from lived experience, so my views will necessarily be from outside. Be aware that there's gender stuff with an eye to how women are treated in general.

Demi-chan wa Kataritai (Interviews with Monster Girls, henceforth "Demi-chan") is a 2017 anime about a high school biology teacher teaching and learning from his half-human half-monster "ajin" or "demi" students about facing social and practical difficulties in life due to the realities of one's body. Or to put it more simply, it's about disability, through the lens of monster girls.

The Vampire - Medical Disability

Vampires need no introduction. Creature of the night, lives on blood, arguably the most iconic horror monster. In Demi-chan, vampirism is basically diabetes, anemia, albinism, and a collection of other quirks all rolled into one. Hikari Takanashi keeps her government-issued blood in a personal refrigerator. She needs to take extra precautions to protect her skin and eyes from the sun and is sensitive to hot weather.

Hikari is supported without question or resentment by her family. When the urge to bite people comes up, her sister allows Hikari to gnaw on her arm a bit. Hikari is brilliantly blonde, so her father bleaches his hair a bit to make her stand out less. Her mother supports the family, and the extra expense involved in raising a half-vampire isn't even a topic of discussion.

In another time Hikari would have been treated like, well... a vampire. Thanks to a more understanding public and advances in technology, she's just like any other girl.

The Dullahan - Physical Disability

A dullahan is a person with a detached but otherwise perfectly functional head (think "Headless Horseman"). In Demi-chan, they represent physical disability. Kyouko Machi's moment to moment life is defined by having to carry her head with her everywhere. She's essentially missing an arm any time she's walking around. It takes Hikari pointing it out for anyone else to realize making her carry the school-standard bag is dangerous, prompting the school to give her special permission to use a backpack. She has a custom harness to hold her head at chest level so she can use both hands while eating. She typically rests her head on a pillow when seated, and has to use her arms to physically point her head at people when listening or speaking.

Among the three demi students, Kyouko gets the most attention as more of a specimen than a person. Whether it's wanting to touch the flame where her neck would be or just asking sometimes intrusive questions, it's clear that people, even the most well-intentioned, are less respectful of her bodily autonomy than they could or should be. Other times people will deliberately avoid topics that would require them to acknowledge her physical limitations as though they don't exist.

Dullahans may be more accommodated than they were in the past, but the world is still structured on the assumption that they don't exist. Despite being an afterthought to the built environment, Kyouko is just like any other girl.

The Yuki-onna - Psychological Disability

A yuki-onna, or snow woman, is a person who emits physical cold when under emotional strain. Yuki Kusakabe is at a new school in a new town and her powers are doing new things. Her anxiety and fear of becoming too close to others leaves her socially isolated. Her resulting non-participation shows some of the complexity of psychological disability - it doesn't mean you physically can't do things, but the collective actions of those around you means you are excluded nonetheless.

Yuki is seemingly shy not because she doesn't like other people, but because she is afraid that if she gets upset around someone the cold she emanates will physically harm them. It's not a stretch to understand that as representing the fear one may have that opening up about your problems burdens others, so isolation is preferable. A bit of practical examination eventually shows that her cold doesn't hurt anyone - herself or others. This doesn't suddenly cure her anxiety, of course. She just becomes more willing to open up and hang out with people.

This one doesn't land as well as the others, because it seems to imply that you just need a good few friends to eventually have people get you and then you will be fine. Additionally, her nature as a yuki-onna means she is also easily overheated in hot weather, which is one thing that brings her together with the other demis. I don't think that necessarily is part of the allegory, but if it is it's saying it's not healthy for her to avoid uncomfortable feelings (cold) altogether.

Society expects us to keep unsightly emotions out of the view of the public. Yuki can't hide hers, but her peers come to realize that under the anxiety she's just like any other girl.

The Succubus - Being a Woman

Ok, this is the spicy one. The fourth demi in the show is teacher Sakie Satou, a succubus. In Demi-chan a succubus is a woman who has a supernaturally compelling erotic effect on anyone who could be attracted to her. (They give gay men as an explicit example of people immune to succubus charm.) In parallel with the three students, we have to look at her demi nature as a form of disability as well. The show is very clear that the only functional difference between Sakie and any other woman is the magnitude and range of her attractiveness.

Just as much as the other demis, her life is shaped by this fact about how she was born. She wears loose clothes that cover her whole body beyond hands and head at all times in public. She is hyperaware of her surroundings at school so that she doesn't bump into a male student and need to deal with the results. She takes the first train in the morning and last train in the evening for the same reason. She even has to live in a detached home (not an apartment) because when she's asleep she leaks erotic dreams. Her yearning for romance is stifled by the worry that she will never be able to tell if someone really likes her or just her succubus charm.

Society has not moved very far to make room for Sakie. The flashback scene from her school days where she makes use of martial arts and social intimidation to reverse a dangerous situation is played for comedy, but left implied is how differently it could have gone. Succubi are considered the most dangerous ajin by the government. Cops regularly check on them to make sure they're not deliberately causing issues by using their charm to provoke an assault. There is zero consideration that using your charm is not a crime, committing assault is. The agent in charge of Sakie treats her almost like a daughter. One imagines that if she wasn't one of the "well-behaved" ones, that parental relationship would be far more punitive.

Maybe someday the world will advance and Sakie won't have to tiptoe through each day for fear of one misstep ruining her life. For now, she's just like any other woman.

The Outsider

Tetsuo Takahashi is none of the things the various demis are. Indeed, at first he sees them primarily as a subject of biological and anthropological curiosity. Sometimes he's making genuine discoveries, but other times he's learning things about the demis that they have always known. In one telling moment, Tetsuo gives Hikari a long speech about the things he's "figured out" about what a vampire needs to do to protect themselves when outside during the summer. Hikari responds by asking him how many years he thinks she's been a vampire.

It's Tetsuo's relationship with Sakie that makes him stand out. Multiple times during the show he is exposed to her succubus charm, either due to physical contact or her dropping her overly modest style around him. The society around them would seem to accept that if that happens a man is allowed to turn into a lust goblin and it's not his fault if he does. Tetsuo does so such thing. This isn't because he's not effected by the charm, but because that's not how you act with other people, no matter how erotic you find them.

Conclusion

Interviews with Monster Girls says that disability isn't a trait of a person or a group of people. Disability is people - individually and collectively - choosing to act in a way that means some people are less worthy of participation in society than others because including them would be inconvenient. It also doesn't settle for "well I'm not getting in their way" as an excuse. Inclusion isn't just removing barriers, it's also reaching out and actively bringing everyone along, together.

Final Words

This one isn't really a review, so I'll skip the usual scores and comparisons. However, I do want to note that the show itself has some problems I didn't get in to, like how a significant portion of it is a grown man (a teacher, not a doctor) having teenage girls in his closed office doing sometimes physical examinations of them. Don't go in expecting something uncomplicatedly enlightened, there's still some Anime Bullshit to be found.

#demi chan wa kataritai #interviews with monster girls #anime #disability #disabilities #medical disability #physical disability #psychological disability #original post

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wolfsbane-if · 2 years

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Hi! I don't want to be another person sending a "negative" ask, but maybe I can provide some constructive criticism? If you don't want that, you can obviously stop reading here and delete, lol. I did enjoy this story quite a lot until this update. There were a few things that sort of rubbed me the wrong way in the earlier content, but it was mostly stuff I could ignore. And I think I sort of have to explain those things to explain why I didn't like this update...(1/?)

Hello! Thank you for the feedback! I do value insight like this very much, and I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.

I’ve copied your asks and done what I can to address your points and explain my thought process below, as well as expressed some follow-up questions if you’re willing to entertain them. Beware that it is ridiculously long, and if you’d rather just leave your feedback and carry on, that’s more than fair.

One thing I want to start by clarifying is that describing the MC’s capabilities is done within the context of the world, rather than on some intrinsic, omniscient level. Knowledge of the supernatural is extremely limited, and often supernatural beings themselves have to discover their own abilities through a process of trial and error if they have no one to instruct them. There’s very little concrete information on these beings, their abilities, and limitations, so by gathering what information they can, the MC is in a very good place relative to most people but they’re still constrained by the limits of what information is available to be absorbed.

Regarding the disparity between knowing a monsters' strengths and weaknesses vs knowing how they function, I'd personally consider those two different things. This is a world without advanced science or study and so Wolfsbane knowledge has been gathered through experience and passed down, and knowledge coming from hunters is going to primarily focus on combat. Vampires are extremely rare and typically only encountered by humans in hostile situations, so the knowledge regarding how to fight them is far more prevalent than knowledge of their biology. Nobody's ever fought a vampire, been bitten, not turned, and survived to share the tale, so it's always been assumed that all bites are dangerous, like with lycanthropy.

Essentially the MC, while powerful compared to their contemporaries, is still operating on incomplete information because they only have access to so much of it. Additionally, the MC’s companions can sometimes provide personal insight into matters that might be only understood on a surface level or in general, or in situations where an individual’s perspective may differ.

Something I’ve tried to get at - and perhaps failed? - with writing Wolfsbane is that most supernaturals are “good”. The skewed perspective results from the fact that they, in an attempt at self-preservation, remain largely isolated from humanity (like Harlow has demonstrated up until now). Those who crossed into the ‘human side’ and caused harm were the only exposure that humans had to supernatural beings, resulting in misconceptions and fear of the supernatural in general. This fear has led to indiscriminate hunting of the supernatural on sight, which has led to further isolation, and the cycle continues. When people decry the supernatural as being bad and dangerous, they’re doing so based on, again, incomplete information.

The supernatural population is also generally very low, and encounters - be they aggressive or peaceful - aren’t that common, aside from hellhounds. The game has taken place over one week and a couple of flashbacks to this point, and the experiences that have been lived so far aren’t necessarily representative of the norm. I would like to be able to explore more of the MC’s history as a Wolfsbane in flashbacks going forward, which would likely address some of these concerns, I imagine.

So far, the aggressors that the MC has faced have been a vampire in the prologue, a human hunter in chapter one, hellhounds in chapter two, a werewolf in chapter three, and now a human noble. To me, it feels like a relatively fair split demonstrating that neither humans nor supernaturals are consistently ‘the bad guy’, but I understand if your feelings differ.

I also wonder if it might be a bit reductive to put people in a category of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in general. The ghost in the ghost backstory flashback could be considered an antagonist, but their actions were a result of desperation. Garamond’s father left an entire community of ‘good’ werewolves to be with the woman he loved, and tragically lost her. While it’s true that some individuals simply lack a strong moral framework and some motives simply can’t be known or understood by the MC, I’ve tried to include nuance within the actions of many characters, and I hope that the MC’s thoughts and perspective after their change will offer some more insight into the supernatural side of things going forward.

And just as a side note, an MC who uses magic would be considered a witch, although it’s not something they typically advertise because that naturally invites complications. I could see about finding ways for the MC to refer to themself as such if that was unclear, though.

I'm very sorry to have recalled a memory like that for you with my writing. It's something I've tried to be conscious of (and in fact Garamond references a similar term in the flashback to when you hire them while expressing their distaste for it). The intention within the context of the game is that Harlow has just declared that the MC isn't like most hunters and expresses confusion over it, and the MC is trying to point out that it's not all that surprising when Harlow has similarly distanced themself from what's 'expected' of them. I can definitely revisit that exchange and try to reword it to be more clear and less uncomfortable, though. My sincerest apologies for that.

While probably not worth much, I can assure you that the conflict within Wolfsbane is not intended as an allegory for race, although I understand that parallels will seem to make themselves apparent regardless. I do want this to be a world where being a supernatural being of a specific variety comes with innate biological struggles, advantages, and tendencies; and where there are misconceptions that convey all members in a group in a certain, negative way. Although monsters are not representative of races in the real world, it makes sense that the text, while trying to convey these ideas, would hearken back to those stereotypes, and if you or anyone else has suggestions on how to better differentiate and separate the events of the game from that real world mindset, I would be eager to hear them.

Regarding the opposing ideologies: yes, that’s very much the case. Indeed, the core thesis of Wolfsbane is that everyone is ultimately an individual who makes their own choices, but it’s being explored in a world where the vast majority oppose this idea and it affects how events are spoken about and perceived, and it is a world in which the MC is immersed. Apologies for the whiplash on that front; and I’ll consider if there are ways I can better communicate the idea.

I don’t have much to say here except, hey, that’s fair! I’ve tried to imply that the MC, worn down after a cascade of complications and days on the road, is not operating anywhere near at the top of their game, but if the way the events unfold seem unrealistic to you: valid.

I don’t think that’s something I’ll end up rewriting because A) that’s a huge part of the chapter and direction of the narrative, and B) the order of events seems to work for most people, but yeah, definitely a valid perspective and I’m sorry to hear it took you out of the game

This goes back to the earlier point about supernaturals not actually being largely ‘bad’ and that being a stereotype among humans based on specific experiences, but I can provide some additional insight as well.

The thinking here is that the alternative is death regardless, so it's worth taking the chance, even if something were to go wrong. If the attempt at saving the MC were to fail for whatever reason, the end result would ultimately be the same. Garamond goes through with turning the MC despite being terrified of accidentally killing them because it was what the MC wanted, so yes, they would also be prepared to kill the MC out of necessity afterwards. Not saying it wouldn't be absolutely horrible for them, but it was a calculated risk on their part.

I also want to point out that the transition to a supernatural life is far kinder on those who have guidance and support systems. Harlow's sire had no direction and struggled to learn and adapt, leading to him accidentally killing Harlow and losing his regard for humanity over a number of years. Turning doesn't immediately deprive an individual of their morals or instill corruption, but instead introduces new instincts and urges to contend with, and both Garamond and Harlow believed that by being there to assist the MC in learning how to adapt, they'd be at a much lower risk of losing themself. It’s not a case of the MC being special as an individual, but rather that they’re just in a relatively good position to manage it, and Garamond and Harlow are both reasonably confident in their ability to handle whatever comes of it.

In closing, thank you again for providing your feedback and perspective. I very much appreciate your respectful approach and I’m glad you brought these concerns to my attention. I hope my response has been able to clarify some things, and I hope I’ll be able to make use of your input to improve the game going forward. Just like writing and sharing an incomplete work isn’t easy, I can’t imagine critiquing one is, either, and while there are definitely things I’m trying to do with my story that may not be clear yet, I fully acknowledge that having an idea and conveying it effectively are two different beasts entirely.

If you decide not to continue with Wolfsbane from here, thank you for the time you’ve given it until now.

#leftski answers #wolfsbane spoilers

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eorzeashan · 1 year

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Been meaning to ask…Do you have a preferred concept for Eight, and Darth Jadus?Not necessarily together, but for Eight with others and Darth Jadus with Eight, or something?Any thoughts on the concept of Hunter surviving?As a neutral-agent, republican, or “joining” the imperial (co-worker/rival vs companion to Eight)?What about Theron being a double agent for the republic in imperial space (the threat of Eight finding out the truth), or the imperials in republic space (Eight as an ally or rival)?

Ooh, all good questions! I can feel this will get long and rambling, so bear with me.

Darth Jadus and Eight:

Their dynamic isn't that different from whether they're together or not (romantically) so it remains the baseline of a Sith Lord and their favorite Imperial, with a lot of added individuality from both their subversive personalities combined. They both start out with their own reservations about one another: Jadus unsure of his loyalty and ability to carry out his plans, and Eight essentially taking a gamble on how to navigate the most elusive Sith Lord without being left in the dark by him, but soon realize the strengths of the other and just how willingly they work together. This is fortified by a Force Bond they foster where Jadus essentially acts as his eyes, guiding him through the Force-- hence the veil he occasionally wears.

Eight had been interested in knowing more about Jadus from the beginning and strives to understand him on a personal level rather than the pedestal he enjoys naturally from status; to that end, he is able to communicate better with Jadus because he is neither hindered by blind worship or fear. He wants to understand the world he sees and finds his view through the Force beautiful; as an assassin who feels very little on his own, the feeling of fear keeps him alive.

Jadus finds Eight's clever way of talking through disagreements with him bold, and slowly comes to appreciate it over time when most of his advisors have succumbed to madness from being in his presence. He prizes his friendship, as odd as that sounds, and leaves no gesture unrewarded for the Hand who serves him so well and freely, at that. It's implied that Eight is resistant to breaking down from Jadus' presence because his mind does not work like other human-like races in the same way a nocturnal creature would never fear the night.

I could probably go on for hours about the two of them, but the summary is Eight serves Jadus with everything he has. He carries out his orders without hesitation and functions as a companion, advisor, and personal blade. He enjoys Jadus' ideals, his company, even that cold and cruel side of him and can see very few others he could trade for such a lord. He'd be by his side as long as he allowed him to. There are some instances where Jadus can be unfathomable in his actions and they come at odds with one another, but it has never diminished their relationship. After all, both of them lack the animosity for that.

Hunter surviving:

I would definitely prefer it if Hunter survived, though narratively I can understand why he died. He lost, his reason for existing wiped out; tools such as he and Eight who were born to fight for a side to the bitter end know only one way to go. I don't think it's unreasonable or out of the realm of possibility for him to live though, and he could add so much more to potential in the story if he was still out there, fanon or canon. I like it when he survives. He's our counterpart, and to think he's still flipping the galaxy upside-down somewhere keeps things interesting.

I think I can only ever see him as a neutral agent given that's what he is from the start, with his ties in other Intelligence agencies being his covers and I think this would especially hold up if say, he were brought back into KOTFE/ET. I can see him as a suspicious Alliance Alert who gives you invaluable information and forcefully inducts himself into your Alliance's intelligence network, lol. But! To think he'd return to the Republic after everything that happened...I can sense Ardun Kothe tapping his foot with his arms folded in Disappointed Dad ModeTM but....I can also see him giving Hunter a second chance. Hunter might get a little less wild if he's accosted like that yet still shown grace when he has no place to go.

But JOINING the Empire to follow Eight around is hilarious to think about. I have a feeling he'd still go by his fake Minder code and suspiciously "handle" only Eight's missions. Those two shitheads would be joined at the hip. And on the same side? Recipe for disaster and a lot of dead people. He'd stoke Eight's chaotic character to new heights and they'd get up to all sorts of trouble, I expect. They rival each other on the opposite side of the spectrum, so it'd turn into another case of amazing teamwork as if they'd been working together for years-- and whether he's a companion or his rival, Eight would act like him showing up one day was the most normal thing ever. It's that sense of oh it's the other me, welcome back what took you so long. You ugly bastard. (Affectionate)

For some reason I feel that having him around so neither of them are alone would be really good for Eight, actually.

Theron as a double-agent in Imperial space:

That's a fun one! I've never thought about that. Theron in an Imp uniform is an idea as well. The thing is...Eight is also a double-agent in Imperial space, so he'd pretend like he didn't see anything or even cover for him. Unless it interfered with Jadus in any way, he wouldn't hold him back. They might even team up to be partners in crime.

Now if we're talking the OG Intelligence days, that makes it more complicated. Eight still of course, doesn't work past what he's assigned so there's not much chance for either of their paths to cross...unless Theron started sniffing him out. Eight would be annoyed if someone started following him around on missions-- he doesn't like the baggage, so Theron would have to win him over in some way. He's also the eternal watchdog of Keeper since he hangs around him so much, so Theron trying to pierce those defenses by getting close to him is a funny picture. It's definitely risky for Theron: Eight at this point does not know him and would snap him up in an instant if he slips. And he is good at spotting wrong behavior.

It's hard to say how that ends up. Eight's record with those he decides are opponents whether friend or foe is downright lethal. Theron's playing with fire. Honestly, this feels like some kind of psychological thriller that results in a lot of scares for Theron. Eight would be worthy antagonist for him, and probably the source of a lot of nightmares/Bond villain-esque interactions. He might come inches away from revealing him before Theron slips away somehow.

Eight in Republic space:

This is actually the in-game timeline, given he defected to the SIS when ImpInt went up in flames.

As an ally or rival...that most definitely depends on who he is paired up with, so I'll assume you mean Theron. It'd be similar to how he is inside the Alliance; he's a direct, freewheeling agent who throws too many shitty grins around and refuses to do more than the kill itself so he comes off as lazy to his co-workers, but those who are perceptive or hear rumors know he is one of the deadliest they have with a rather seedy past. He doesn't rival people-- mostly because he is unrivaled, with Hunter as the exception and even he can't compare to his sheer ability to kill. He keeps to himself. As an ally, he's a solid one, but he'd still tell his partner to not get in the way once he gets to the dirty part of business, since Republic types tend to get really upset when they see him work, hence why he has a harder time making friends over there.

I guess that's barely different from how he was on the Imperial side, though he'd definitely tone it down if Ardun was supervising him. That guy confuses him on a level that...just tells him to trust him even if he doesn't understand him at all.

This also only feels tangentially related to the question, but Eight originally hailed from Republic space. If we're talking about a timeline where he stays there, that becomes completely different.

But let's not clog this too much, so I'll end it here.

#swtor #oc: orradiz #ask meme: answered #loooooooong #I think....it's hard to put into words but Jadus is like the mystery Eight needs to unravel

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westywrites · 6 years

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The Slaughterhouse

AKA the most afraid I have ever been.

@kclenhartnovels @lux-scriptum after talking about ghosts, I finally got around to writing out my scariest experience in story format. (The only thing that has been changed is the name of my friend and some dialogue as I don't know what exactly we said; otherwise, this is how I remember it happening. We were only 13 at the time. Those of you who don’t believe, feel free to pass this off as an interesting story from a deluded kid, but I can’t deny what I remember from that day. I have never been so scared in my life.)

“This place is super haunted,” she told me over the phone, “please, I can't stay here alone.”

“I don't know, Des,” I wouldn't admit it, but I was afraid to even think of spending the night in a place like that.

“I thought you wanted to explore the barns anyways,” she protested, her own fear evident in her voice. I was even more afraid of leaving her alone there.

“It’s an abandoned slaughterhouse, of course, I want to explore it,” I sighed, “I just don't understand why your mom’s boyfriend decided you should live there.”

“Because it was a cheap and easy fixer-upper? I don't know.” I could hear her fiddling with something on the other end of the line. We sat in silence for a moment. “Please just tell me you'll come.”

“I’ll come.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Desiree sounded so happy she may cry.

I smiled to myself, pushing away the uneasy feeling in my chest. “It’s no big deal,” I lied. I had just agreed to spend a weekend in the house in front of an abandoned pig slaughterhouse, definitely not a big deal at all. I was definitely not shaking like a leaf at all.

My mom warned me to be careful as we drove up onto the hill and out into the woods. I nodded and smiled, assuring her that everything would be fine. She warned me not to touch anything in those barns, not to go anywhere unsafe. I laughed, already convinced that nowhere on that property was safe to begin with. I hugged her goodbye and turned hesitantly towards the house as she pulled away.

The house was small, a little yellow bungalow with rotted once-white shutters. My friend’s pale face was framed in the window, beckoning me to the side door.

“He hasn't fixed this place up yet, huh?” I asked, kicking some painting supplies out of the doorway into the tiny kitchen.

“We’ve hardly even got everything out of the basement.” Des sighed, pushing an ironing board up into its spot in the wall.

“That’s neat,” I said, playing with the latch on the door she had shut around it. I hadn't seen an ironing board that was attached like that before.

“It would be neat if it didn't make a terrifying sound every time it falls open,” she joked half-heartedly. “Let’s go watch a movie or something.” I nodded, and we shut ourselves in her room. We played with her bunny and watched dumb movies until late into the night. To my surprise, the worst that happened in that first night was a fox screeching somewhere nearby.

“That sounds like a woman screaming,” Des cried, shaking me awake.

I yawned and rolled over to look at her. “It’s just a fox, you know what foxes sound like.” She nodded hesitantly. “I have a good sense for things like this, that's why you invited me, right?” She nodded again, more confident this time. “Go back to sleep.”

The next day consisted of casual preparations for our adventure into the two barns later that afternoon. My fear had begun to fade. As I said, I have a good sense for these things, and I wasn't sensing anything looking to harm us. Desiree wasn't convinced we should we even go in, but I teased that it was the only reason I had agreed to come and she stopped her protests.

The hot summer sun had already begun to descend by the time we found ourselves in front of the older of the two barns. We were armed with flashlights and first-aid kits, but the derelict wooden barn still seemed to threaten us with its very being. I marched bravely forward first, forcing my way through the rotten door. There was a small room before another door blocked my path. The empty room and dirt floor held no interest to me, so I moved immediately to pry open the next door. It wouldn't budge.

“We haven't been able to get in there at all yet,” Des admitted. “My mom’s boyfriend thinks that water-damage expanded the wood, so the door is stuck.”

“That won't stop me.” I was full of determination and resourcefulness, and way too much time to waste anyway.

We tried everything we could find and everything we could think up, but the door remained stuck shut. My next thought was to bust a hole in the rotted wall, but Desiree put a stop to my plan before I could even start. “You’ll bring the whole place down on our heads,” she said, and I eventually had to admit she was right.

So that was that for the first barn, and I was thoroughly disappointed. I had hoped for something interesting. My hopes would be answered in plenty when we moved on to the second barn. A modern metal giant of a barn complete with an industrial looking silo and water tank. The outside was pristine, it looked as though it could have been brand-new, but I knew better. The heat from the late afternoon sun beat sideways on us, warming my skin despite the shiver that was working its way down my spine. I couldn't wait to enter.

The front room had the appearance of an office after a tornado came through. There were papers strewn about and a chair laying in pieces. But the most compelling thing was a mini-fridge perched at the edge of a counter. I pulled it open and found a treasure trove of interesting things inside. Medicines, syringes, and even a can of pop stood on the shelves. The labels were mostly worn away from the bottles, but I managed to make out an expiry date on one. 1979. Over thirty years old.

Awestruck, I flipped through the water-stained notebook beside the fridge. The dates inside matched up with the date I had found on the medicine, the most recent set of listings was from November of ‘78. Des came to read over my shoulder, and she pointed immediately to what I had missed. The purpose of the notebook was to record the deaths of the pigs who had been held in the barn. Most of the dates listed had a cause of death written next to them. Illness, injury, behaviour, among others.

“Behaviour is a weird cause of death,” I said.

Des shook her head and pointed at the bottom listings. “That’s weirder.” The dates for November of ‘78 had no cause of death. Instead, they listed the number of deaths, all upwards of 10. According to the logbook, over one week’s time nearly 100 pigs had died. And there was nothing to say why.

“What the hell happened?” I muttered. Des shrugged at me.

“There's still a whole lot of this barn left to explore, maybe there's an answer somewhere.” She pushed open the metal door to the next room, it swung open with an echoing groan. “This is where they would have kept the pigs,” Des announced.

“It’s dark in there, be careful,” I warned her. Then I saw a light switch just beside the door. Just to see what would happen, I flicked the switch. Des screamed as the lights in the next room came on with a flicker.

“Jesus,” Des gasped, “little warning next time?”

“Sorry,” I called after her, “I didn't think it would actually work.”

I stepped down into the next room. It was long and dirty. The smell was unlike anything I had ever smelt before. I couldn't even think of how to describe it, but a nagging thought popped up in the back of my mind. It smelt like death. The centre of the room was split into rows of short metal stalls, all angled down to meet at a line of drains through the middle. Other than a pitchfork laying in one of the stalls, the room was entirely empty. Our footsteps echoed against the damp cement floor.

“Hey,” Des called back to me, already at the far end of the room, “there's another room here.”

I ran forward to meet her, and we stood staring into darkness. No door stood on the hinges; instead, the doorway looked like a gaping void. Despite the lights in the large room, we couldn't see anything in the blackness of the back room in front of us.

“I'm going in,” Des said. I grabbed her as she turned on her flashlight. She shook me off and stepped forward, almost like she was in a trance. Her flashlight barely pierced through the dark as she stepped through the door. I couldn't move, it was as if something had wrapped itself around my spine, holding me in place as I watched my friend step further into the blackness. The light of her flashlight glinted off of something metal on the ceiling. A hook. Then the light disappeared, and Des disappeared with it.

“Des?” I asked, her name stuck in my throat. The feeling wrapped tighter around my spine and dug claws into my lungs. I stumbled to the edge of the door. My flashlight felt freezing in my fingers as I fumbled to turn it on. The light did nothing against the dark back room. “Des?” Panic made my voice high.

I stuck my hand out and stepped through the door. But before I could even step I ran into something solid. I couldn't cross through the empty doorway. It was as if there were still a door there. A locked, black door.

“Desiree,” I screamed now, repeating her name over and over. I banged desperately at the darkness in front of me, but I couldn't get through that door. Dread washed over me. So much dread that I felt sick to my stomach. I screamed, throwing empty threats and nasty words at the darkness. I was pissed. I slammed against the solid dark, and it slammed back.

Next thing I knew I was on the ground several feet away from the door. My chest hurt like hell. I dragged myself up, but it felt like my limbs had turned to jelly. The metal wall creaked as it protested my weight. I looked up at the door and growled.

“Give me back my friend,” I demanded. My voice seemed to come from all around me instead of my mouth. The words echoed through the barn, and the lights overhead flickered out.

Suddenly, the light from Desiree’s flashlight appeared in the darkness. She stumbled forward out of the room, gasping. Without a word, I grabbed her arm, and we ran from the barn out into the bright evening light. We ran and ran all the way out into the fields behind the property. We both stopped out of breath and gasping. I started to cry.

We sat in the field until the sun touched the horizon. That night, locked in her room, Des and I hid in a corner with all the lights turned on. The next day, her mom returned, and I gladly left to the safety of my own home miles away from that barn.

Desiree and her family lived in that house for less than three months before they moved again. Her mom’s boyfriend never did fix the house; instead, they sold it to a contractor who planned to tear the whole place down. When asked why they moved away the family would give non-answers, avoiding the question whenever possible, but I knew the truth. They couldn't live on that property because something was already there, and it wanted their daughter.

#west's words #writeblr #scary #horror #ghost stories #writers on tumblr #I've never talked about this is this format #so it felt weird to write it out like this #I don't think the level of fear necessarily carried through #I sincerely thought my friend was dead in that room #and I sincerely thought I was about to die #this story version is also missing a couple of things that I wasn't sure how to include #my friend and I had been talking about wendigos and she said the name outloud #and that's supposed to summon them #the night after we were in the barn #there were loud sounds like some kind of fight outside #in the morning there was a path of crushed plants all the from the woods at the far end of the field #through her yard and to the street #then the path promptly disappeared #it was huge #it looked like a whole stampede of animals had run by and in circles around the barn #we think maybe a wendigo came and fought with the thing in the barn #or something #that's what we decided at the time #I really don't know #I was just super terrified

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syubub · 3 years

Text

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

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alotsgonnachange · 3 years

Text

Fan apprentice Bios

for the alotsgonnachange/the arcana cinematic universe that eye personally believe to be better than the original game...

Name: Isabella Ciccino

Meaning: Promise of God

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Height: 5′10

Birthday: October 28th

Star sign: Scorpio

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Patron Arcana: Justice

Sexuality: Lesbian

Favorite Food: Lemon chicken orzo

Drink: White wine (Vinho Verde)

Magical abilities: Plant care/recognition (green witch), Foraging

Ethnicity: A small rocky/mediterranean esque island off the coast of Venterre that would strongly resemble sicily and malta.

Family: Mother, Angela Ciccino (deceased). Younger sister, Annamaria Ciccino (deceased)

Backstory: WIP

Occupation: Seamstress/tailor

Hobbies: Ballet, reading, drinking wine, dancing, tending to plants

Familiar: None (for now i guess??)

Love Interest: Nadia

Description: Isabella is a mysterious and alluring magician. To most people she is kind and charming, but private. She is incredibly helpful and caring to those she is friends with and cares about and will drop what she’s doing to assist. Likes to do quiet introspective work like reading, sewing, knitting and caring for plants. She’s a bit of a homebody in that sense. She comes across as level-headed and assertive in formal settings and does not allow others to talk down to her. With friends, she is a bit more sassy and teasing. She hates answering personal questions and has strict boundaries, which can lead to her being standoffish and stubborn at times.

As a Love Interest: Very loyal and committed, generally very gentle towards whoever she is seeing. You are going to have to get her to open the fuck up though she’s not good at being vulnerable AT ALL. The type of gf who may or may not qualify as a therapist/mother which…yikes. needs to work through her fear of intimacy before she can have a healthy relationship awwww 5/10

___

Name: Danielle Dupont

Meaning: God is my judge

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Height: 5′6

Birthday: September 7th

Star sign: Virgo

MBTI: ENFP-A

Patron Arcana: The Sun

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite food: Pain au Chocolat (Chocolatine for my canadians…)

Favorite drink: Espresso or a good wheaty ale

Magical Abilities: Sexual magic, chemistry/potionmaking, candle magic, topical balms/solutions

Ethnicity: Whatever the Arcana equivalent is of like. Western Europe germanic? A country including but not limited to Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland. Who cares really she is white and an Orphan

Family: Orphan!

Backstory: WIP

Occupation: Shop owner who sells potions, balms, candles and various other uhhh items usually of the purpose of sex (literally think a modern day sex shop with dildos and shit but also candles and skincare too)

Hobbies: Socializing, singing, making/testing potions, foraging, baking

Familiar: None, is in fact frightened of several animals due to trauma :(

Love interest: Lucio (Her taste is questionable and that’s okay!), also portia

Description: Danielle is a cunning and animated witch. She’s outgoing, bright and carries herself with confidence. In the past this has made her friends and enemies alike. She’s charming but can be a bit of a trickster. Her demeanor is generally calm and she does not often experience strong anger. She’s very smart and dedicated to her craft, and she is a perfectionist. As a worker, she gives excellent customer service and is a good saleswoman. To her friends, she’s teasing and wild, but loving and encouraging. On her worst days, she has the potential to be a bit more inconsiderate and is not the best at handling huge displays of emotions from others.

As a Love Interest: Girlllll…. first of all she needs to stop being emotionally stunted! My good sis cannot handle open displays of emotion at all and tends to shut down! The physical aspects are all there and excellent and she is going to be sweet, caring and loving but she needs to take things more seriously and be able to talk about feelings!!! 3/10

____

Name: Jia Song

Meaning: In korean it’s “clear” or “good”

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Height: 5’5”

Birthday: August 5th

Star sign: Leo

MBTI: ENFJ-A

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite Food: Pulled pork or a good seasoned steak

Drink: limeade

Magical Abilities: Potions/herbs and healing

Ethnicity: Her father is from the same country as Ki (in a modern AU, this would be like. Korea.) and her mother is from somewhere uhhhh near nopal or something. Warm tropical nice (in a modern au this would be Brazil), but she grew up in her mother's country.

Family: I don't currently have names but basically, her father, mother, aunt (deceased) and two younger brothers.

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Healer, researcher, linguist

Hobbies: Dancing, reading, adventuring

Familiar: None

Love Interest: Julian

Description: Jia is a bright and curious magician. She’s a bit nerdy and loves reading/learning new disciplines. She is an energetic and altruistic person who is liked by many. She comes off as kind and forthcoming. She is very helpful and if she can’t help directly she will find someone who can with her connections. To her friends, she is loyal and sweet and affectionate, but also has the potential to be grumpy and even a bit negative. She’s very determined in hard situations and won’t back down until things are made right. Despite this, she can potentially overthink and overestimate situations and is incredibly stubborn when she wants to be.

As a romantic partner: loving, but definitely also able to keep independence. Not necessarily a stage 5 clinger but somewhere in the middle. She will love just spending lots of time with a partner and just picking their brain and learning everything she can from them. The type to brag about them to her friends. A wonderful listener but give her a chance to speak too she likes talking a lot as well! 10/10 would recommend

____

Name: Ki (Kiyoung) Kim

Meaning: Debatable but Ki alone means arisen and i’m getting “Vigor and eternal” But i think names differ based on the characters u use i am not korean so take this with a grain of salt

Gender: Nonbinary i think...

Pronouns: He/him or they/them doesn't have a preference

Height: 5′8″ Short king

Birthday: February 27th

Star sign: Pisces

MBTI: INFP-T

Sexuality: Gay

Favorite food: Budae Jjigae or Yongeun jorim

Favorite drink: any alcoholic beverage where you can’t taste the alcohol and strawberry milk

Magical Ability: Divination and mediumship (idk what the proper term is) so he can communicate with spirits/the dead

Ethnicity: Think of a small nation veeeery far away from Vesuvia that's cold for a lot of the year (for reference, think Korea).

Family: a twin sister named Jiyoung, 3 older sisters (Jiwoo, Jeongyeon, Joonhwa), mother and father and paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother who are living.

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Musician - mostly guitar and piano. Enjoys instrument care, arranging and performing in large ensembles, not a soloist by any means. He’s a great singer but he’s shy and singing gives him anxiety

Hobbies: Playing guitar, composing/arranging, reading, writing, shopping

Familiar: a tiny white dragon named Egg. Idc if dragons exist in this world but i feel like they HAVE to..

Love Interest: Asra

Description: Ki is a perceptive and witty magician. To most he comes off as a bit anxious and shy, which he is. Once you get past that, he’s eager, forthcoming and empathetic. He is very kind and likes to believe people have good intentions. He is very helpful and always tries to make sure others are comfortable and happy. He enjoys music and learning musical instruments. He prefers to work more in the background so as to not draw attention to himself. With his friends, he’s actually very talkative, silly and goofy. He’s prone to anxiety and may tense up or feel attacked when put into frightening situations. Unfortunately he has self destructive tendencies and low self esteem and has a hard time due to that.

As a Love Interest: perfect little s/o shut the FUCK UP…. that is if u can deal with low self esteem and anxiety! He really really tries though! He’s also shy with physical affection but will warm up to it eventually with familiarity and trust. Very doting and randomly shows up with delicious food and takes care of u when ur sick. 8/10

____

Name: Mathilde “Tilly” LaRue

Meaning: Mighty In Battle? Lol

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Height: 5’11

Birthday: January 16

Star Sign: Capricorn

MBTI: INTP-A

Sexuality: Bi

Favorite Food: Lentil soup

Drink: Black coffee

Magical Abilities: Divination, telekinesis, herbs, defensive magic

Ethnicity: From a large urban area with a large population somewhere in an area a bit cooler and rainier than Vesuvia. (think like. England)(in a modern AU think Afro-caribbean)

Family: Mother and Mother and an older sister named Topaz

Backstory: will be linked coming soon

Occupation: Court Magician (but like simply a well rounded witch who goes wherever the money is)

Hobbies: Exploring, foraging, reading

Familiar: A white ferret named Elle

Love Interest: Muriel

Description: Mathilde is a gentle and thoughtful magician. She is soft-spoken and hates raising her voice, and is often making bizarre and thought provoking side comments in most situations. She is curious and intuitive when it comes to magic and often able to use several methods to predict the future for others. She carries herself in a dreamlike/contemplative manner and does not really care what others think - She’s off in her own world. With friends, she has a good source of humor and gives good advice and is a very good listener. She has an affinity for animals and nature, and would generally prefer to be outside. She can tend to be unrealistic and naive and loses hold on her emotions in tough situations (angry crier…) and feels misunderstood by those around her.

As a love interest: Downright adorable. Sweet, will bring you cool items she found and very endearing. She’s also encouraging and surprisingly cheesy. Not outwardly clingy but if you let her she will. but good fucking luck starting to date her! She is extremely pretty and gets asked out almost every day, turning down 99.999999% of applicants because other people do not particularly interest her and her taste is insanely picky! 10/10 but FAT CHANCE

#my art #bios #my text #the arcana #fan apprentice #ki #tilly #danielle #isabella #jia #refs

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luthienne · 4 years

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Truly feel like I don't even have the strenght in me to keep trying to help or make the world 'better.' It will never happen. I say this as an indigenous latina, so it isn't like I'm a white 'ally' with 'burn out.' I've literally been fighting my whole life. Don't feel like I can keep fighting. Everything is a lost cause. I lose heart I didn't know I have with every piece of news or post I see on Twitter or anywhere else. So much pain.

ay, mi amor, i’m so sorry. please know that as much as you witness cruelty and injustice, as overwhelming as it feels, as pointless as it feels to keep fighting (not just against injustices but for your own right to feel safe, to feel hopeful, to feel valued), you are not alone, you are not fighting alone, and it is not your fight alone. the joy harjo quote from her poem “the naming” comes to my mind: “truth can appear as disaster in a land of things unspoken.”

sometimes it feels like a lost cause. we are constantly assaulted w news about more injustices, more harmful actions. utter lack of accountability. and we wonder how the world can be such a violent place, after everything, after everything. but the truth is, despite everything, the world is full of tenderness and love and humans wanting to fight for what’s right and do better than they’ve done before, to do whatever they can to help even at the risk of getting hurt, of getting caught in the crossfire bc they care so much, bc they’re not willing to let these injustices happen silently.

words feel so powerless sometimes. language feels so insufficient. nothing feels enough. mary oliver can express what i’m trying to say better than i can:

“meanwhile i know this: evil is one part of our beautiful world. and though my writing pays it small attention, i am not blinkered; i, too, have been forced to stand close to it, and have felt the almost muscular agony of impotence before it, unable to interfere or assuage or do anything effective. though i do—oh yes i do—believe the soul is improvable. oh sweet and defiant hope!”

some days, we just have to say: “i don’t have faith today. i don’t have hope today. i don’t have the strength to fight today. i can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, i can’t understand how things will ever change. maybe i’ll have faith again tomorrow. maybe i’ll have hope again tomorrow. maybe i’ll have the strength to fight again tomorrow.” and know that it’s ok. you are a human being and we are not made to endure constant horrors, what feel like never-ending battles on every front. sometimes fighting (especially things like systemic oppression) means taking a step back to take care of yourself.

i am loathe to use a choir metaphor but there’s this thing that we do when there are long lines of music: each singer drops out at different times to take a breath before coming back in, and it’s unnoticeable bc the rest of the choir is still sustaining the music. social justice in communities should be like this. you need to take a breath. we’ll still be here fighting, your community will be here to uplift you and support you and love you. you cannot continue pouring from an empty cup. you have to take care of yourself (if possible, in any way). this fight belongs to everyone. i’m so sorry that it doesn’t always feel like that’s the reality of it.

as a non-indigenous latina who grew up in new mexico alongside my indigenous latinx sisters, i recognize the harm that can come from within even the latinx community. the internalized normalization of systemic oppression, our complicity if we are not actively speaking out and working against it. it is our responsibility to step up and take on the fight in the ways that our privilege allows us. it is our job to confront racism and injustices in our communities, to not be silent, to shoulder the weight. i am here for you and w you in this fight. ♡

i have to believe that someday, big change will happen, that every day people are doing things that make the world a little better—and big change begins with the little changes that each of us take on every single day. it begins with people making the choice to become active in their communities, engaging w their communities about issues, looking for the places where they can donate a little bit of money even when they’re out of work, showing up to protests and vigils even in the middle of a pandemic, doing what they can to unlearn and learn and do better, voting for change, holding our elected leaders accountable. understanding that we will fuck up and that accountability is necessary (and that it is our job to hold ourselves accountable, not to expect others to do it for us). hopefully the smaller actions lead to bigger actions, hopefully this accountability carries us further in the fight than we’ve been able to go before.

i attended a masterclass on stamina the other day--i thought it was going to be about vocal stamina (we were all opera singers), but she chose to also speak about emotional stamina, about resilience. she mentioned a ted talk she had listened to where the speaker talked about how resilient people choose where they focus their attention--is this serving me, or not? what can i change and what can’t i change? am i directing my energy toward a “positive” goal? bc we are wired to direct our attention to negativity, to danger, to threats. it is a survival instinct we all have. (i won’t get started on when we throw trauma into that mix.) she told us that our practice, not our results, is what needs to be consistent.

i personally needed that reminder: to direct my energy toward the act of simply achieving a consistent practice. all too often, my energy goes instead into the (paralyzing) fear that nothing i can do will ever be enough. the pointlessness of my efforts. the self-admonishment that my practice didn’t achieve the results that i wanted. it’s incredibly self-defeating. i don’t know if this is at all helpful for you. it is, of course, a false equivalence to say that trying to get better at singing is the same thing as trying to dismantle systemic oppression. but the reminder hit me on many levels--that everything i do isn’t necessarily going to achieve the results that i want. it’s just important that i show up to do the work.

i was chatting w my bestie @bronzeaxeli, who is an indigenous latina (and all-around amazing human being), when i received your ask. she passed along, “on the futility of fighting against an seemingly insurmountable social construct, i think my best advice is to consider how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time. it is going to take the entire ant hill to digest this beast. but all of us together working to make the small changes incrementally will there be change. it will take a long time, but these systems weren’t built in a day. and if hope isn’t enough, then do it for the spite. living well is the best revenge. make those who look down on us paranoid, and while they are continually looking over their shoulder, they miss all of us moving forward toward our own goals.”

“You cannot destroy a soul though you may destroy a planet. You cannot destroy a song though you can make people forgetful. A soul can appear to be destroyed, and a song can disappear for a few generations only to reemerge from the heart of a child who turns and becomes a woman.”

Joy Harjo, A Map to the Next World

“To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

Howard Zinn, A Power Governments Cannot Suppress

“No matter, I said lightly, more to myself than anyone. We will make it through this, past the edge of the wound.”

Joy Harjo, A Map to the Next World

#ask #anon #<333 #long post

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love-minor-poltergeist · 5 years

Note

Dude you're like the only person I know who made at least one thing on werner werman and honestly I can't stop reading it. I would absolutely love it if you could do more relationship hcs for him( or maybe jealous hcs if you're up to it!) if you don't that's totally fine just know I absolutely love what you've written so far and can't wait to see more!

A/N: Anon, how about I do you one better and give you a two- for- one special. This rat man deserves all the love he can get and hopefully this is up to your liking!

(Note: Read more placed due to lengthiness; Jealous HCS are also found under the cut)

General Relationship Hcs with Werner Werman:

A relationship with Inkwell Isle III’s resident inventor/mechanic is one filled with a surprising amount of conversation than you’d initially expect. As it turns out, Werner is actually quite the chatter box when he’s truly comfortable, and since the two of you are dating, he’s nothing BUT comfortable.

On a normal day, expect to come into your boyfriend’s apartment and be met with a loud, boisterous greeting from Werner while he’s perched at his workbench. And as you’re settling down and making yourself comfortable, Werner, still not seated at his workspace, fills the apartment air with the sound of his voice alone; easily overshadowing the clatters of metal hitting wood.

“You valked in just the right time, liebling. Today vas a bit of a pain. It turns out giving that little katzchen of mine a vorking AI vasn’t the best idea I’ve had.”

Most of his ramblings tend to revolve around his work; as it’s a subject he’s quite passionate about. It may come off as a bit tiring from time to time, but Werner doesn’t mean to be so work-orientated around you. The intricacies of his projects is something he loves going into, and since you (and Dr. Kahl, but Werner fights with that man worse than cats and dogs do) can keep up and at least somewhat understand what he’s going on about, Werner tends to get carried away from the excitement.

Of course, Werner is just as a good of a listener as he is a talker. He’s perfectly content with stepping down to listen to you about anything; how your day went, anything troubling, etc. He even adds in his own input here and there if you’re looking for it.

Once the two of you have dated long enough to be comfortable with the other, don’t be surprised if Werner ends up using you as his own makeshift teddy bear.

As someone who’s passionate (and stubborn) when it comes to his inventions, Werner spends nearly all of his nights working. Going to sleep with him at his station and waking up to him still tinkering away is unfortunately a common sight. Which means Werner doesn’t get enough sleep like he should be.

So on the rare occasions where he does eventually give into his need for rest, he’ll gladly get under the sheets with you, curl himself around your sleeping form, and fall fast asleep. After a day’s hard work, your warmth alone is enough to make him go out like a light.

It’s enough to make him consider actually going to bed earlier, truthfully. But he’d too embarrassed to admit it.

Get ready for a bunch of terrible jokes from this man, because this is a part of your life now. Both in English and German.

All of which are awful puns that leaves him wheezing at his own joke every time.

“No matter kind you are to children, German children are kinder”

Please stop him.

Can’t Cook? Great! Neither can he!

It’s not that he doesn’t want to learn how; it’s just that Werner never had the time to do so. Serving in a war and spending most of his days afterwards building machines for clients doesn’t exactly leave much wiggle room for him.

Fortunately, this leads to plenty of date nights for the two of you. In other words, the two of you get to fumble around with a haphazard spread of ingredients out on the table while making sure neither of you accidentally burn the place down.

With that said, Werner is definitely the type of person to try to change out ingredients of a recipe purely because he thinks something else would work better (and/or because neither of you felt like going out to get a particular thing if you’re missing it)

“Nein, we don’t need baking soda anyvay. Vat’s the worst thing that could happen?”

Please kiss this man as much as you can. He’s more than a little touch-starved than he cared to admit, and not to mention it makes him feel safe.

Jealous! Werner:

Werner is usually a level-headed man, and so jealousy is a rare occurrence for him. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s impervious to it.

And how can he be? While he’s well aware of his own successes, he’d be lying if he didn’t say that he has a hard time accepting/dealing with times where he feels inadequate.

Werner feels that he should be able to be good at things right away; essentially setting high expectations for himself.

With you, those already high expectations skyrocket to even more wildly ridiculous levels. In his eyes, you deserve to have an exceptional partner, and fears that you’d lose interest in him if he lags behind more “well-suited” suitors.

So when he had invited you to accompany him on a trip to an inventor’s meet (which was just a small gathering, really), he hadn’t expected his rare jealousy streak to make an appearance.

The cause of said jealousy? Well, that would be the very man Werner absolutely loathes: Dr. Kahl.

It wasn’t out of any fear that the mad scientist would steal you away from him- far from it, really. It’s just that the sight of your wide, wonder-filled gaze directed towards someone else was enough to leave his confidence a bit shaken.

Thanks to Kahl’s access to higher-grade materials (the man lives in a scrap-yard, after all), Werner was already often overlooked by investors and potential clients in favor of his rival’s sleeker and appealing designs.

Werner is already used to second place when it came to clients, but with you? Well, he isn’t just going to take this insult lying down.

Werner, whenever jealousy gets the better of him, is the type not to try and harm his competitors, nor is he the type to put any of the blame on you. Oh, no. Instead, Werner becomes rather showy; essentially, this man is going to do everything in his power to peacock for your attention.

Kahl built an impressive robot out of spare car parts? Big deal, Werner can build one that works just as well- maybe even better- with tin and aluminum. (Which you don’t doubt, truthfully. This is the same man who managed to make a makeshift tank out of a giant soup can, after all).

Oh, you’re impressed by one of the inventions the others brought? Well, how about the one Werner brought? Isn’t it better?

It eventually reaches a point where you’d have to drag him off to a quiet corner before he has a chance to offend anyone else. You’d shoot him a withering look, hands firmly planted on your hips as you confront him. And in that moment, Werner is forced to realize just how much of an ass he’s been making of himself.

He’d hesitantly mumble the motivations behind his behavior, hints of a pink blush faintly showing through thick fur. While Werner doesn’t have much shame when it came to his pride in general, the whole situation is enough to knock him down a peg or two.

Just as he would begin to wonder if you’d cut things off and go home, a snort would snap him out of his thoughts. He looks up to meet flushed cheeks and your lips desperately trying to hold back a laugh before you finally broke down into a giggly mess.

At first, he’s slightly offended, but that’s soon drowned out by utter relief.

Shortly after you manage to pull yourself back together, you shoot your boyfriend a mirth-filled look.

“That’s what you were so worked about? Werner, you know none of that matters to me.”

The rat would sputter as you take his face in a gentle grasp, and you shake your head a bit, another laugh threatening to form again, before you plant a tiny peck on his nose

“Some of these men and women may impress me, but you’re the one who amazes me the most.”

The rest of the evening goes by smoothly, and Werner’s sour attitude fades as he mingles with the others in the room; all the while he had an arm wrapped around your shoulder and his chest puffed up in pride.

As he laughed and chatted with the others, a part of him couldn’t help but think he should get jealous more often.

#Cuphead #cuphead dont deal with the devil #my writing #requests #cuphead headcanons #cuphead reader inserts #gender-neutral reader #werner werman #werner werman x reader

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killian-whump · 4 years

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Whumpy I read your last Colin meta. You see, I'm a person who goes to the movies, watch the movie and never really reads reviews or whatever. I just enjoy what I enjoy and don't let critics and the Internet tell me if a thing was good or bad. Now, I was intrigued by what you wrote about The Rite. I always thought it was a good movie and I though it was succesful. Wasn't it? What happened there? I mean, I did enjoy it. Could you please elaborate on this subject? I'm curious and confused.

Yeah, it wasn’t.

I mean, I’d like to give a more positive response on this front, but you know, I’m an honest girl and I call things like they are, and no, it wasn’t successful.

Generally speaking, a movie’s “success” is determined by whether it brings in more money than it cost to make it. It cost about 37 million to make The Rite, and it only grossed 32 million domestically. HOWEVER! It grossed about TWICE that internationally, likely due to the worldwide Catholic community embracing the film. So it’s more fair to say it wasn’t successful in the US, but was successful elsewhere. But, Hollywood being Hollywood, they tend to not look too far beyond their own borders, hence it generally not being considered a success.

Also… the reviews weren’t good. It was pretty universally disliked - and even the positive reviews basically said it was a “meh” film that was “saved” by Anthony Hopkins’ performance. I’d say the whole movie fell prey to barbs and criticisms from the critics, not necessarily any one specific part of it. I don’t recall any reviews blaming Colin or his performance for the film’s faults, which is good, but the consensus seemed to be that he wasn’t anything special, and didn’t really “carry” the film the way a leading man should. Ouch.

However, I do have to say at this point that I have heard that the director asked Colin to tone down his performance and more or less play Michael Kovak as a straightforward, plain sort of guy - and I think that’s why his performance is missing that usual Colin charm that comes through in most of his roles.

Which makes sense, really, considering the directing was one of the MAIN faults of the film. I mean, the guy made the boneheaded decision to not provide subtitles for the scenes where Italian is being spoken. Yeah, it helps the viewer relate to Michael’s “fish out of water” situation, since he doesn’t know what’s being said, either, but KNOWING WHAT’S BEING SAID is at least a little bit important when it comes to MAKING ENJOYABLE FILMS.

Anyway. Like I said in the other post… I truly believe this was a B level movie script, with a B level director and a mostly B level cast (including Colin, I mean, he was just a little baby of a movie actor at that point). Had it been released, viewed and critiqued as a B movie, it would’ve probably done okay. However, because of its strong Christian/Catholic messages, Anthony Hopkins took a personal interest in it (as he tends to do from time to time) and basically worked well below his pay grade to take part in it, which made the press and public assume this was an A grade Hollywood blockbuster. And the critics judged it accordingly, and found it wanting.

As great of an opportunity as it likely seemed at the time for Colin, I do think that The Rite was probably one of the worst mis-steps in Colin’s career. Instead of being the big break it probably seemed like it would be, the critical response more or less stamped a big ol’ “Not Leading Man Material” stamp on Colin’s forehead, through no actual fault of his own. And I fear that he might’ve taken that to heart, as well - and I sincerely hope that he’s come to understand that he more or less got royally screwed over and didn’t deserve that designation. I sincerely believe that Colin could absolutely carry a Hollywood blockbuster film, IF that film has a good script and a good director. The Rite had neither, and it was put under unfair scrutiny and heightened expectations due to Hopkins’ involvement. A comedy of errors, really, and one that Colin’s overall career might’ve been better off without.

But, again, as I said in my other post, it DID get him seen more in the US, and it might’ve played a hand in getting him Once Upon a Time, so who can really say if he would’ve done better without it or not? It’s a moot point, anyhow, as it is what it is and there’s no sense wondering what else could’ve been. Also, he got to work with Anthony Hopkins, who is a living legend, so that experience alone probably makes up for everything else in Colin’s eyes :)

#colin meta #the rite #not whxmp #anonymous #kw ask box

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smileyoongle · 6 years

Text

Mafia BTS! Seeing you for the first time (Maknae line)

Note: This imagine won't necessarily have all the members belonging to the same mafia. I thought having them all as the leaders would make a better plot so......here you go.

[Here's the link to the Hyung Line imagine: Mafia BTS! Seeing you for the first time (Hyung Line) ]

Park Jimin:

Placing his wine glass on the table, Jimin leaned forward to listen to the conversation of his gang mates. They all laughed at a joke one of them cracked. It was a happy day. It had to be, it had been 5 years since Jimin took to running a mafia. So naturally, when people saw him all happy and smiles, they were astonished. People had usually only seen him when he was mad or pissed off at someone who bothered him.

Jimin had decided to share his mafia's anniversary with everybody in the restaurant. He took to paying for all their drinks. This made the people even more shocked. But who really rejects free drinks?

You entered the expensive restaurant with your boyfriend, hand in hand. You looked around the place while your boyfriend told the manager about his reservation. It was your 2 year anniversary. But you weren't sure if you were gonna be celebrating anymore anniversaries, seeing as you had decided that you didn't want this relationship anymore. You were sure you would end it tonight on a peaceful note. You didn't wanna be with someone who treated you like an object, who never introduced you as his girlfriend to his friends, who was a materialistic freak or better yet, who slept around with other girls thinking that you didn't know anything.

You felt eyes on you as you made your way to your table. You searched around for anyone who was looking at you. Your eyes stopped at someone sitting at the corner of the restaurant. You looked carefully, only to gasp and blush. Park Jimin was staring at you. Of course you knew him, everyone did. You took your seat while glancing a look at him again. His eyes were still on you. You bit your lip and turned to your boyfriend. You shook your head, obviously it meant nothing.

Meanwhile Jimin's eyes were stuck on you since the moment you entered. You looked gorgeous in your black silk dress and your wavy hair. You seemed to be in deep thought when you stood their waiting to get to your table. But when he saw your hand in another man's, he wanted nothing more than to take out his gun and shoot him right there. But he didn't wanna scare you, so he tried to calm himself down. It helped when you looked back at him. Your beautiful eyes showing surprise in them to see him staring at you. Right then he decided, he wanted you now. He turned his attention back to his friends and started thinking about what he could do.

You sighed as your boyfriend started making a scene in front of the entire restaurant. You really thought he'd be okay with it. He should have been, if he really wanted you then he wouldn't have gone around sleeping with every girl he stumbled upon. You winced as he grabbed your arm and pulled you to your feet. This had gone way too far than you thought. "You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me" he gritted his teeth and glared at you. You whimpered in pain as he tightened his grip on your arm. You were sure there were gonna be bruises.

"You should be grateful that I'm putting up with your dumb self. Anyone else would've left you long ago. Just like your parents did." He chuckled bitterly at you. Tears filled your eyes at his harsh words. Before you could say anything, he was torn away from you. Just as you looked at your knight in shining armour, your now ex-boyfriend was punched in the face, causing him to fall to the floor.

Jimin bent down and grabbed the man's jaw. He had tried to hurt you and Jimin wasn't having any of it. "I see you around her one more time, you'll wish you were never born." He snarled at him. You stood there as you looked at the scene infront of you. Here he was, Park Jimin, the one who protected you. And you had a feeling he would be doing that for a long time from now.

After seeing your supposed boyfriend scurry away in fear, Jimin made his way to you. He wiped the tear on your cheek and looked in your eyes. His heart swelled at how circumstances had been in his favour. He was never gonna forget this day. He promised himself that he was never gonna hurt you in anyway. He was gonna treat you like a queen.

You felt your breathing quicken when his hands held yours. Although he didn't say anything, but his eyes, they said a lot to you. You knew for sure that you would always remember that look. It was as if his eyes had said,

" I would break my own heart to protect yours."

Kim Taehyung:

Taehyung glanced a look at his watch and sighed. The man he was supposed to have a deal with, was late. He hated people who couldn't be on time. Time was essential, especially when you live every second of your life dangerously.

He clenched his jaw as he observed the crowd of people dancing on the floor below. The loud music blared through the club as he grew impatient. This club was one of the many he owned. Different night, different club. That was his life. It was absolutely adventurous but he found himself growing tired of it. He wanted something different from life now. He didn't wanna come back to a dark and lonely house every night. He craved the feeling of being wanted. Of course, he could have any girl he wanted. But he wanted someone who consumed his thoughts day and night. He wanted someone to call 'his'. Someone to protect from this cruel world.

Taehyung's attention was drawn to the bouncers leading someone to the VIP area, right where he sat. He glared as he saw the man who called himself Joaquin, enter the lounge. Taehyung could have his head on a platter for wasting his time but he brushed off the idea because the deal was too important to him. Joaquin put forward his hand with a smirk for Taehyung to shake, as if he was proud of himself. But Taehyung sat still, only glaring at him. The smirk was washed off his face as he took back his hand and sat down infront of the intimidating Mafia leader. Taehyung took in the man's appearance and doubted himself. He didn't really look like someone who should be in this line of work. He looked too confident, like he was some celebrity. He considered calling this deal off. But all of his dilemma faded as he saw you standing behind the so called dealer, looking a little uncomfortable.

Joaquin noticed his eyes on you and took it as a signal to introduce you. "Ah, this is Y/N. I bought her to fulfill needs that I'm certain every man has." He smirked and looked at you. He had always treated you like an expensive object he bought.

You clenched your jaw and glared at him. Everything that came out of his mouth was wrong. You would never sell your body to any man, let alone this disgusting excuse of one. You'd never even let him near you and he accepted this, finally giving up after a lot of trying.

Before you could defend yourself, the man who you knew as Taehyung spoke up.

"Having me wait and then talking complete bullshit about a woman, that certainly says a lot about you." He narrowed his eyes as he pulled out a gun from behind him, placing it on the table infront of him.

Taehyung didn't believe Joaquin for a second. When he saw your annoyance, he wanted to finish him off for good. He respected women very much and he had no tolerance for anyone who talked rubbish about them. And since you already had all his attention, he wanted to do everything he could to make sure you were comfortable.

You seemed level headed and innocent at the same time. Your red dress hugged all your curves perfectly. Taehyung found himself thinking about how he'd love nothing more than to explore every inch of you. He licked his lips as he found himself getting more and more intrigued by you. He fantasized about having a woman like you by his side. When he saw Joaquin's pale face at seeing the gun, he stood up and fixed his suit. "You know, I've dealt with a lot of people like you. Always so full of yourself and feeding off on others self esteem when the truth is that you know you are pathetic and incompetent." He said and moved to where you stood. You stood there frozen. Taehyung looked at you from head to toe. You suddenly felt insecure. You bit your lip and looked away. You'd never been so intimidated by a man before.You hadn't looked at Taehyung closely before but now that he stood right infront of you, he looked so ethereal. He was breathtakingly handsome.

His lips curled into a smirk as he saw you checking him out. He saw your flustered expression as you bit your lip. Taehyung felt extremely delighted to know you were attracted to him too. He leaned down and whispered in your ear, "You might wanna stop doing that, love. I don't think you understand how troublesome it is to control myself."

You gasped at his words. He tilted his head to look at you with a smirk, that damned smirk. He was certainly enjoying this. Your wide eyes gave away how innocent you really were. You might have put on a strong front for the world but really, you weren't like that at all.

He turned to Joaquin to seal the deal. "This deal is called off. You may go back but this lady will be spending the night with me, whether you like it or not." Joaquin gave a small nod and left. Clearly he was afraid of what Taehyung would have done to him if he hadn't obeyed. Everyone was afraid of Taehyung, it was impossible not to be.

But you only felt curious about what was beneath this cold demeanor that he carried. There certainly had to be more to him. Taehyung was determined to know you too. More so, he was determined to break the walls you had built, he knew how to read people very well. He could tell you weren't really how you acted. He was curious too. One thing was certain, he had no plans of letting you go back to that dumb man. He wanted to own you mind, body and soul. And nothing was gonna stop him.

"Say you want me because I know I do."

Jeon Jungkook:

You smoothed out your dress as you stepped out of the black limousine. The building infront of you hovering like a giant ready to engulf you. You didn't wanna be here, and the fact that your best friend was so extra didn't help either. Really, a limousine? This wasn't even an award show. It was just a masquerade ball.

You absolutely hated crowds. You had no intention of attending this party either. But when your best friend showed you her puppy eyes, you couldn't bring yourself to say no. So here you were, wearing a ball gown with a mask covering half of your face. Your best friend had been invited here. She was very rich but she never let it get to her. Her family adored you and treated you like their own. Basically your best friend had been by you for as far as you could remember. You didn't have a family but you didn't feel sad about that anymore. Credits to your best friend. So thinking that you owed her this much atleast, you climbed up the steps to the ballroom.

You could hear the chatter of people along with soft music playing behind the huge double doors. The doors opened revealing the interiors. You gasped as you took in the scene infront of you. You had never been to a place like this. You were stood on top of a staircase. You looked at the entire place with amusement. Maybe being here wasn't so bad. You were so engrossed in admiring the room that you didn't notice the people staring at you. Everything seemed to have stopped, all eyes were on you. You blamed it all on the expensive gown that your best friend had bought you. Or maybe all these rich people figured that you didn't belong here?

Jungkook almost took his mask off as he saw you stood near the entrance. You looked stunning in that blue gown, the light of amusement in your eyes only added to your beauty. He was a driven young man who lived a dangerous life. He had to attend the party in order to settle a conflict that had been getting in the way of his work. But all that was forgotten when he saw you. He wanted nothing more than to just go up to you and take off your mask to see you properly. You were already beautiful, he could only imagine what was beneath the mask.

You were flustered as your best friend pulled you down the stairs. The music seemed to have started again. Some eyes were still on you but you tried not to pay attention. Soon enough the ball was in full swing. You turned down a few people who asked you to dance with them. You weren't a dancer. So you watched as your friend danced around, clearly enjoying herself. You decided to get some fresh air. Making your way to what looked like the door to the garden, you were obviously clueless about someone who was completely captivated by you.

Jungkook saw you make your way to the garden so he followed you. He wanted to know you. So here he stood, behind you. It was a cold night. Too cold for you to be here. "It's too cold to be here, don't you think?" A voice startled you. You turned around to see an extremely handsome man. You couldn't see all of his face but from whatever you could see, he was damn handsome.

"Not very fond of crowds." You smiled at him. Jungkook's heart fluttered when you smiled at him. Your voice was angelic too. He was growing desperate for you. "So I'm guessing you'll be turning me down if I ask you to dance, huh?" He extended his hand out to you. You bit your lip. You certainly couldn't bring yourself to say no to him. "I suck at dancing." You said sheepishly. He chuckled. "I can deal with that." He grinned at you. Taking a deep breath, you took his hand.

He held you close as you both swayed to the music. It felt as if everything around you had disappeared. Your heart was beating fast. Curiosity was eating you inside. You wanted to see him. His eyes kept flitting between your eyes and lips. You looked away as you blushed.

"Take it off. Let me see you, princess." He whispered in your ear, making you blush even more. You weren't the only one who was curious. You hesitantly pulled away from him to take off your mask. But before you could do anything, a loud noise was followed by the sound of glass shattering. Screams filled the room as another noise echoed. Gunshots.

People around had already started running out of the ballroom. You were scared. What was going on? Jungkook clenched his jaw. He understood that the meeting didn't go very nice. He had told everybody to not do anything until he came. But of course, they didn't listen. He looked at your panicked form. He had to get you out but he also had to help his people.

You turned to the mystery man infront of you, only to find him looking at you. His eyes showed concern and anger. You felt a hand tug yours. You saw your best friend pulling you towards the exit. You couldn't protest. You were already suffocating. You wanted to get out so you let your friend pull you away from him, the mystery man. He didn't move at all. He stood still between all of the chaos.

Jungkook was mad. Mad that he didn't even ask you your name. Mad that he couldn't even see your face. He mouthed a few words to you. A promise he made to himself. You weren't sure if you understood what he said correctly. But from what you thought he said, you felt a surge of happiness. Obviously you weren't gonna see him again. But that's where you were wrong. You didn't know who he was. And you certainly didn't know he'd do anything to have you.

"I will find you soon."

I had to write the Jungkook imagine twice. Tumblr was acting up but here it is. I hope you like it. Do you want me to do more mafia imagines? Do let me know. I also feel this isn't so good so I'm sorry. I'll do better next time.

- XX

#bts #bts jungkook #bts suga #bts v #yandere bts imagine #bts jimin #bts jin #bts jhope #bts rm #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts mafia imagine #bts mafia reaction #bts mafia au #kpop roleplay #bts army #bts au

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iamtrashforash · 5 years

Note

hi, i read your text about the confusion involving fanarts in the bf fandom and i agree with you in most of the topics, but don't you think that those artists are, in fact, trying to normalize and romanticize rape? i mean, i saw some people saying how they "love seeing ash's crying face while he's being abused" and "support rape-y relationships". (1)

Hey, thank you so much for reading my long-ass post! And apologies in advance for this long-ass reply!

Content warning: TMI, i.e. very, very frank discussion of (my) sexuality.

–

“…when those people draw them in a sexual way…to fulfil their kink or whatever, they are sympathizing and are totally okay with rape-y dynamics, don’t you agree?”

I am loath to conflate paraphilic kinks with endorsement of “real-life” — i.e. beyond the (safe and consensual) sexual life of the bedroom — enactments.

Now, I am no professor of sexuality. I made that statement because equating the ownership of a paraphilic kink with condoning it in “real life” simply does not agree with my experience as an adult woman with masturbatory fantasies oft-fuelled by her own paraphilic kink.

For the record, I am not turned on by non-consensual sex; in fact, it is quite a massive turn-off for me. However, I do find impregnation/pregnancy illogically, irrationally, and improbably arousing. Improbably because I am absolutely terrified of the prospect of pregnancy in “real-life” contexts — the fear is so bad that it has given me anxiety and panic attacks after sexual encounters, despite the presence of contraceptives. I am determined to never have biological children. For reasons unknown, in the sexual headspace, when it is framed as a kink/fantasy, the idea of being impregnated gets me off. In “real-life” context, the idea gives me panic attacks. Meeting a pregnant woman in real life does not turn me on. I am, in essence, a walking, talking, living prime example of the basic collapse of equating paraphilic kink with “real-life” endorsement. Hence, it is very easy for me to imagine that other people with paraphilic kinks, e.g. rape dynamics, might have a similar compartmentalisation between the sexual, kinky, and strictly fantastical headspace and “real-life” conscience, between the self as a private, primal,and sexual creature and the self as a member of society equipped with cortical higher thinking.

While it might be a relief to have our sexual fantasies match our rational desires, unfortunately (?), for quite a segment of the population, this is simply not the case. I do not personally “get” the kink, but it is undeniable that ravishment fantasies, e.g. borderline rape or even outright rape, constitute a very common and very old trope in erotica. Why are some people into BDSM? Why is cuckoldry so popular? Sexual desire comes from a very primitive portion of our brain, linked with similarly ancient responses of pleasure, pain, and fear. I do not think it is good practice to hand out rational judgment towards the shapes and forms sexual desire — that irrational substance — can manifest as. At the same time, I think it is rather suspect to assume that someone’s private kinks necessarily inform their societal and rational behaviours. (Read: just because someone fantasises about/indulges in/creates erotica featuring rape fantasies does not necessarily mean they condone rape in real life. Apply concept to restraints, cheating, impregnation, exhibitionism, etc.)

“…don’t you think those artists are, in fact, trying to normalise and romanticise rape?”

In my previous post, I have posited the argument that the content creators in question seem to be highly aware of the paraphilic, potentially triggering, and outside-the-norms nature of their works and do not seem to normalise them, as evident from their conscientious filtering: age confirmation, NSFW tags, trigger warnings, and viewable-upon-request-and-approval system. This obstacle course is hardly normalising, glorifying, and/or romanticising behaviour.

The Great Obstacle Course of Filters and Tags, combined with the creators’ attitude towards their works, frame the works in the context of paraphilic kinks and sexual fantasies. Hence, the works should be interpreted as such: they are Jerk-Off Materials. Sometimes, it really does not go deeper than that: they are indulgences of basal sexual desires and are not meant to inform societal behaviours. If you have ever skipped through a story’s passages of romantic courtship to get to the sex scenes in a masturbatory session, you have carried out a similar separation/compartmentalisation of the social from the sexual on a personal and consumer level.

To normalise and romanticise, in my opinion, is to make the abusive relationship seem desirable in real-life context. For example, personally, I would be more concerned by a T- or PG13-rated romance story about Foxx and Ash, were it to exist. Blatant erotica is aimed at adults, who are — generally speaking — better at distinguishing fantasy/kink from “real life”, and explicitly declares its belonging to the sexual and not the social/rational headspace.

Regarding people saying how they “love seeing Ash’s crying face while he’s being abused”, it is hard to interpret the sentence without the context. Drawing from my experience of our case study of the writer-artist duo in Banana Fish, I think this type of comments is mostly found as responses to the erotica they publish, which means it comes from consumers who have decided to voluntarily engage with the erotica in the sexual headspace level. The comments, therefore, originate from a place of kinks and sexual fantasies. (I mean, what do you expect to find in the feedback section of erotica, anyway? If the consumers appreciate the porn, they would say, “Wow, thanks, that’s hot; I love it.” They would not say, “I got off to it, so thanks. However, I am concerned it romanticises abuse.”) The comment that they “support rape-y relationships” definitely makes my eyebrows rise; the sentence really does not lend itself to many charitable interpretations. However, I personally think that, if someone’s takeaway from a piece of erotica is that the paraphilic kink is endorsed in real life, that someone is not actually mature enough to engage with the material in the first place, as they are failing the fundamental compartmentalisation of the private, primitive, and sexual sphere from the empathetic social sphere.

#Banana Fish #discourse #fandom #I am trash for Ash #long post #asks

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diloph · 5 years

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I keep hearing about this 'Burning Godzilla' thing, but I still don't have a clue about what it is. Can you enlighten me, Diloph?

Burning Godzilla is thename given to the hypercharged state that Godzilla enters in the filmGodzilla vs Destoroyah; basically what happens is that the islandthat Godzilla and his son were living on undergoes a volcaniceruption, igniting the radioactive deposits there and overdosingGodzilla with radiation.

As a result, Godzilla’salready insane 90’s powers go through the roof and he now hasfull-time access to his most potent weapon, the Red-SpiralAtomic Breath (previously a finishing move to use at the end of thefilms as a coup de grace, as it is undoubtedly a one-shot kill move)in beam-spammable form. The trade off is that Godzilla isdying… and he can’t stop it.

Godzilla, as he goesthrough the movie, is more powerful than ever before but he’s alsogrowing weaker at the same time; every step is one closer to hisdeath. He looks like he’s literally burning up from the inside,glowing red-hot in some areas and his previously indestructible skinis burning and spewing smoke, ash and steam.

Scientists come to ahorrifying revelation; Godzilla is only going to keep heating up andhas no control over the process. When he reaches a certain point,Godzilla is predicted to explode in a blast many times greaterthan every nuclear explosion ever created… and set theatmosphere on fire, killing all life on Earth.

Once he hits 1200°c(which I always thought was low, even if concrete decays/melts atthis point, but they never specify if that’s his core/overalltemperature or his skin, in which case his insides could be hotter),that’s it. Godzilla dies and he’ll drag the whole world with him.

After he attacks HongKong and tries to refuel at a nuclear plant, the military isreluctant to engage him in fear of setting off the powder keg.Nevertheless, they bust out the new Super X 3 and successfully freezehim, human engineering finally triumphing over Godzilla and stoppinghim cold (sorry).

The good news is thatGodzilla is no longer going to explode!

The bad news is thateverything has gotten much, much worse.

Something happened as aresult of the rapid cooling and now, Godzilla is going to melt downinstead of explode, in a classic China Syndrome scenario. Of course,much like the explosion, this is much bigger than a conventionalmeltdown and has the potential to destroy Earth in its entirety.

Further problems arisewhen a monster created by the Oxygen Destroyer, the weapon thatkilled the original Godzilla, has emerged in Japan. It shrugs off thebest that the military can throw at it, even when they discover itsweakness to extreme heat (good, but implied to keep it mutating) andextreme cold (excellent) and it’s only getting stronger.

Realising that Godzillais following his son, who has managed to avoid the worst of the blastand actually benefit from it by changing into a more adult-like form,they try another daring plan. By luring Godzilla’s son to fight thenewly dubbed Destoroyah, they hope that Destoroyah’s power will helpthem kill Godzilla before he melts down and that Godzilla will haveput enough holes in Destoroyah to take it down too.

Godzilla’s son, namedGodzilla Junior here, does better than anticipated against Destoroyahand actually beats it back for a while. Godzilla manages to reach theJapanese mainland before he expires and the two reunite at an airportin a touching, heartwarming scene.

Enter Destoroyah’sfinal form.

Now, I’ve been tellingyou so far that Godzilla’s powers in the 90’s have been insane and inhis burning form, even moreso. This should clearly be a quick, easyfight for the King of the Monsters, right?

No.

No, it is not.

Destoroyah wipes thefloor with Godzilla.

It flings him to oneside, grabs his son and flies him hundreds of feet into the air, thendrops him to his death. As a result of this, Godzilla becomes angrierand stronger than ever at the death of his son.

Destoroyah wipes thefloor with him again.

It drags Godzilla bythe neck and dumps him into the ocean, engaging him once more when hegets back onto land and temporarily beats it back. He goes to hisson, just in time to see him slip away, despite his desperateattempts to revive him.

He fails.

All of his power, hisstrength, his abilities and he can’t even save his son.

Junior passes away andwhat happens next is actually heartbreaking. The Heisei films aregiven a lot of flack for not giving Godzilla as much of a characteras the Showa period. I’d disagree (there are plenty of charactermoments, they’re just all similar “This makes me mad” or “Whatfresh new hell” moments from a more taciturn creature), but even inthis film, you have characters that remark that Godzilla “doesn’tknow what happened” or “doesn’t understand what’s going on”.

They could not be morewrong.

Stoically, the HeiseiGodzilla straightens his back, his face set in his permanent scowl…and breaks down. He roars. He cries, even though he has nowater left in him to make tears. He blasts the sky fruitlessly,attempting to vent his rage, avenge his son. The one good thing hehad left in his life. The one thing that had kept him away from themainland, saving thousands of lives each day, might have even beganto reform him. The one thing worth living for. The one thing thatmight have survived his death. The one thing he loved in this worldand now his beloved child is gone.

It’s at this point thatGodzilla is not just expected to die, but now feels he has nothingleft to live for.

And worse still,Destoroyah is still not done with him. Godzilla is angrier than hehas ever been, stronger than he has ever been, he no longer hasanything to hold back… and Destoroyah still manhandles him. Itpicks him up, drags him away from his son’s body and tosses him toone side, ready to engage again.

People tend to equatefoes like Hedorah and King Ghidorah to this creature, but honestly,neither of them can hold a candle to what Destoroyah is capable ofweathering, even in their own most powerful incarnations. Destoroyahis the Doomsday to Godzilla’s Superman, the Bane to his Batman. It isthere for the explicit purpose of killing Godzilla and takingeverything that he can throw at it and more.

With his lifespan nowbeing measured in minutes, Godzilla rises and with 20°cleft to go, he starts to melt down, his dorsal fins crumbling andmelting like wax. His back spews out radiation as if it were abreath-weapon itself, all in silence as he tries to come to gripswith the tremendous pain he is in.

ThenGodzilla gives Destoroyah everything.

Hisatomic breath sweeps from his mouth, a blast bigger than he is tall,igniting the air around both monsters. It misses entirely, but theshockwaves from the blast alone are enough to rip Destoroyah toshreds, staggering the beast.

Hekeeps going, the blasts puncturing Destoroyah like bullets through awet paper bag and the monster that has tanked the most powerfulabilities Godzilla has ever had, tossed Godzilla around like a toyeven when he was at the apex of his power screamsand runs away.

It doesn’t get far. The military freezes its wings and Godzillarefuses to move. Inan extreme hot-cold environment, Destoroyah loses its altitude,falters and screams as it plummets towards the ground and dies. Thetanks move into position. The Super X 3 circles and begins itsstrafing run.

It’stime.

Alonenow, without friend or foe, Godzilla begins to melt down. Once again,the scene is silent, save for Akira Ifukube’s music, a compositionwhich I think was named “Requiem” as Godzilla dies. It’sbeautiful and tragic, a stern reminder that for all of thefantastical elements, all the absurdities and mockery it might take,this series meanssomething.

Thereis no last stand against the tanks. No blaze of glory for this tiredold monster. No retaliation from this brutal creature who has killedso many and haunted the nightmares of many more. He is bombarded withanti-radiation missiles, freezer rays, his skin frosts over… andthen, the light. All the ice melts instantly, a light greater thanthe sun fills the air, turning night to day.

Godzillatakes a ragged breath as his skin peels away from his face, exposingflesh and bone, his own matter gargling in his throat. He lets outone last, wailing and almost unidentifiable roar of anguish, pain andloss as his chest bursts in a spew of what looks like magma. His bodymelts away, his skeleton crumbling in on itself as nothing remains ofGodzilla but an unearthly light and smoke.

Godzillais dead.

Withthat, he passes into legend and his enemies weep for him, forthemselves. Miki Saegusa, the one constant of the Heisei series, theonly person who ever even believed in coexistence with him, mournshis passing. As the radiation from the meltdown turns Tokyo into afuture dead-zone, those assembled grimly look on the devastation…until the radiation levels begin to fall.

Inthe smoke, silhouetted by the light of his dying father, GodzillaJunior rises again. Fully grown and ready to carry on the legacy, butwith his more passive stance towards mankind, one that would benefiteveryone. Godzilla will carry on, even long after Godzilla is gone.

So,to answer your question, Burning Godzilla is the hypercharged statethat Godzilla achieves when he is overdosed with radiation. Hebecomes more powerful than ever before, but at the cost of his ownlife.

Butit’s so much more than that.

It’sthe end of an era. It’s the death of the immortal. It’s the sign thatwhile things change, they do not necessarily need to end. It’s rawpower and tragedy and sadness and pain. It’s strength and weakness,poetry and hammy 90’s cliché, something that adults and childrenalike understand, love and fear.

It’sGodzilla, through and through.

#Godzilla #once again I've written an essay that seems more prose than a straightforwards answer #like I know that I project on characters a bunch but I really REALLY feel strongly about them #and honestly that's what I got from Godzilla vs Destoroyah #this is a tragedy and it HURTS you just as much as it hurts Godzilla #he got a son and stopped his constant rampages he stayed away #Junior was a GOOD influence on him and he really truly loved his child #and this film takes it away from him #it took away his sole reason to hope and to keep living even as it was marking him for death #for if 'true' Godzilla films only matter when he's in pain or when he's in a tragedy #it's the first time in a long time that Godzilla experiences loss like that #and that's why I respect the Heisei series probably a little more than I should

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