#I don't think this is a men are bad thing

[empyrealix]

⊹ ࣪˖ NOW I'VE READ ALL THE BOOKS BESIDE YOUR BED | #CL16

pairing. charles leclerc x bookworm!reader

synopsis. you post book recommendations on instagram, you're also dating charles leclerc

warnings. some swearing

note. have this while i work on a longer lando fic <33

MASTERLIST ; requests open

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 249,604 others

yn this week's book recommendation is the old man and the sea. the novel is about our protagonist's–santiago's–struggle to catch a giant marlin. it is kind of like "moby dick", but without the whale encyclopaedia. i think lando would enjoy this book immensely

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lando it's a book about fish i do not like nor do i read about fish

oscarpiastri thanks for this astute observation, lando

yn i think you would really enjoy it, maybe it'll help you get over whatever weird thing you have about fish

lando it's not a weird thing??

carlossainz55 it is a weird thing

lando you're supposed to be on MY side? you're MY friend?

lando is it just because charles is your most recent teammate, huh?

carlossainz55 my most recent teammate is alex

alex_albon is this forget that alex albon exists day

yn mclaren and williamsracing please collect your drivers

user1 THIS IS SUCH A GOOD BOOK

user2 yn has TASTE in books

user3 she has taste in men too

charles_leclerc this is a very good recommendation, mon amour

lando do you read?

yn mclaren

mclaren We apologise on behalf of our driver

user4 why did she come for lando, that was so uncalled for 😭

f1wags

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f1wags the paddock's resident reader was spotted in the paddock today!! suspiciously enough she was not spotted walking in with charles leclerc, can this mean trouble in paradise for the two lovebirds?

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user5 do we think they're breaking up?

user6 not this again

user7 please stop

user8 i wonder why she was late, they always show up together

user9 she was gorgeous at this race

user10 did anyone see what book she was reading? i saw that she was carrying one but i couldn't see what book it was

user11 she's probably going to post about it on her instagram when she's done with it

user12 it looked like emily henry, maybe?

user13 yn would never read emily henry, girlie reads the odyssey for fun do u really think she'd be caught dead with an emily henry book?

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, scuderiaferrari and 643, 684 others

charles_leclerc the photographer; the pictures

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user14 leoooooo

user15 the highlight of this post actually

user16 yn AND leo are the highlights of this post

user17 who cares about that man with the camera

user18 i'm pretty sure yn cares about him

carlossainz55 rare sighting of yn without a book

charles_leclerc trust me, she had a book with her

yn i never go anywhere without a book

yn you should know this, carlos!!

user19 lmao, charles really said let me disprove the rumours real quick

user20 noooo, you were supposed to end it with yn so that i had a shot

user21 girl, this is embarrassing

oscarpiastri give leo pets from me 😃

yn this feels so passive aggressive

charles_leclerc but we will!!

oscarpiastri thanks dad

yn leooo my baby 🥰

charles_leclerc what am i then?

yn … also my baby?

lando can you take this domestic in private?

yn don't you have a book about fish to read?

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 125,642 others

yn to everyone who says you can't read (and enjoy) contemporary romance books while also reading and enjoying classics, you're wrong. i've enjoyed this book immensely despite the fact that i also like books like the odyssey. ft. MY happy place

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user22 oh, you guys really pissed her off this time

user23 she saw that post by f1wags and said fuck any and all media training ferrari ever gave her

yn jokes on you cause ferrari never gave me any pr training

scuderiaferrari maybe we should

yn this wasn't even bad?? i didn't cuss out anyone??

user24 cuss out anyone?

user25 there was a time when yn publicly cussed out vasseur and horner

user26 those were good times

user27 she was so real for cussing out horner

charles_leclerc you're my happy place too, mon chérie (did i do it right?)

yn yes, my love, you did

charles_leclerc 🙌

lilymhe send me your goodreads, rn!!

yn sent!

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 215,412 others

yn happy anniversary, my love <3 you make me the happiest, here's to many many more years with you

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arthur_leclerc we should definitely make charles take public transportation in france again!!

yn if i remember correctly, it was me making both you and charles take the train

charles_leclerc as nice as it was, please not again

user28 love that 2/3 pictures include leo

user29 CUTE CUTE CUTE

user30 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!

charles_leclerc bon anniversaire, mon amour ❤️ je t'aime

yn je t'aime, charlie ❤️

charles_leclerc now come back ⁉️ leo misses his maman

yn is leo the only reason you want me back

charles_leclerc non, i also made breakfast, you turn gremlin-y when you don't eat

yn you're supposed to be nice to me especially on this day of all days

carlossainz55 happy anniversary you two 💙

lando idk if i can tell the girl who recommended me a book about fish happy anniversary

yn 🐟

oscarpiastri 🐠

carlossainz55 🐡

charles_leclerc 🐋

maxverstappen1 🦈

lando i hate all of you

user31 MAX???!!!!!!V???111!!

user32 ariana what are you doing here

user33 what is your current read!!

yn the vegetarian by han kang!! i've been really enjoying it

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, oscarpiastri and 754,483 others

charles_leclerc bon anniversaire, mon ange ❤️ i love you more than words can express. i cannot begin to put into words how much your constant, unwavering support means to me. i'll stand by your side forever if you'll let me

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arthur_leclerc picture credits for the second picture: arthur_leclerc

oscarpiastri happy anniversary dad

charles_leclerc thanks son

user34 stop, they're making me cry

user35 if my love isn't like yn's and charles' i don't want it

user36 PREACH

yn i love you i love you i love you

charles_leclerc i love you too, mon ange ❤️ so much

georgerussell63 happy anniversary from carmen and me 🩵

scuderiaferrari our favourite couple

lando really? there are so many other options

yn i swear to god lando

lando you started this with the fish book

yn can someone deal with this muppet

user37 i'll gladly take him off your hands!!

carlossainz55 weird

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 125,523 others

yn non-paddock sundays. my current read (because people care about that for some reason) is a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini

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user38 leoooooo my baby ❤️

yn he's my baby actually

charles_leclerc and mine

scuderiaferrari the paddock is not the same without you

charles_leclerc i miss you

yn we miss you too ❤️ leo kept looking at the screen when they said your name

charles_leclerc tell leo that i miss him very much and give him lots of kisses from me

user39 i loveeee yn's book recommendations

user40 simba, leo, roscoe meet-up when

user41 second this

pierregasly third this

yn when you get back to monaco we'll have a puppy play date!!

lewis hamilton only if roscoe gets to join

yn of course!! roscoe is always welcome

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, scuderiaferrari and 574,954 others

charles_leclerc another race weekend over 🏎️ thank you so much for the support this weekend, tifosi! i'm excited to spend some time with leo and yn, and i will see you again in two weeks ❤️

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scuderiaferrari amazing drive this weekend!

user42 P2 BABYYYY

yn i'm so so proud of you ❤️

charles_leclerc this drive was dedicated to you

yn stoppp, you're making me miss you even more

charles_leclerc that was the point, mon amour

yn come home soon :(

charles_leclerc i'll be home in a few hours

user43 i want this kind of love to violently attack me

user44 FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!

lewishamilton great drive today!

scuderiaferrari from both of you!!

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 143,236 others

yn charlie is back for two whole weeks!! AND this week's book recommendation is sula by toni morrison. toni morrison has such great books, and i've loved every book of hers i've read, but sula holds a special place in my heart

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arthur_leclerc yay, so excited to see you two be grossly in love for two whole weeks

yn didn't you take the picture of me and charles because "you two look so cute"

arthur_leclerc no comment

yn hah!

user45 another banging book recommendation

user46 yn never goes wrong with her book recommendations

lando i finished the book about fish 😃

yn did you like it?

lando more than i thought i would

oscarpiastri congrats, lando 👍

maxverstappen1 i didn't know you could read

lando you're supposed to be my friend??

carlossainz55 is little lando norris pouting

lando i hate all of you

charles_leclerc i'm so happy to be back with you and leo, the race is never quite the same without you in the garage

yn i'm happy you're back ❤️

user47 if my love isn't like yn's and charles' then i don't want it

[gizmotemusic]

IDs: Twitter thread by @CraftyCatDad which reads "Cis ppl get dysphoria all the time. It's when a woman cries and wears hats for a month bc the cute pixie cut went wrong and made her look masculine.

When a man takes off a shirt like it's on fire bc it hung in a way that made it look like he had breasts.

"It's the tremendous number of men who ask our shop to make their hips smaller, their shoulders broader. Men who break their legs to be taller. Women who hate their big hands or small chests and keep those laser facial hair removal places in business.

"Dysphoria is the Bad Feeling, but cis ppl get gender euphoria as well! When you see a dude put on a suit that makes him feel exactly the right kind of masculine, or a woman with a dress that makes her exclaim "oh, I'm so PRETTY!" It's a little bit of magic.

"Working w clothes shows you that how others see their gender matters to everyone, even if that's a desire to NOT be gender boxed, or to express themselves against gender roles. We're communicative apes, & "how do I see myself" is one of the most important things we have to say.

"This isn't saying “oh, everyone's a little bit trans", but thinking dysphoria is wholly a trans experience others trans ppl. It's a human experience, they just have it more bc it's not as easy as an unflattering shirt or bad haircut.

"And it's worse for kids. So much worse bc they don't have perspective. Think of the worst haircut or outfit you ever had to wear to school and how it felt. Shit, I bet it STILL hurts. Now make that every day. For years. Of course so many of them want to give up.

"What causes or alleviates it isn't going to be the same for trans ppl any more than cis. For every cis dude I get who hates his hips, I get one asking to cut the pants tight bc "can't waste this dumptruck."

"I do what I can to help at work w angled seams and draping and optical tricks and style lines. I do what I can here, trying to secure EVERY SINGLE HUMAN the right to bodily autonomy and the safety and freedom for the gender expression that works for them.

"No one can truly know anyone else's experience, but there are feelings we all know a version of, and it's how we empathize. Joy. Disappointment. Hope. Anxiety. And yes, gender dysphoria." End ID.

[self-loving-vampire]

Many reasons why I'm not on-board with the whole misandry thing that seems to be getting popular among the types of trans women who get big around here, beyond just the fact that I think making assumptions based on gender is bad on principle or the fact that it gives off a bitter sort of energy in a lot of posts.

It's also that in my view there is not really much of a meaningful difference between men and women, especially at the individual level human relationships operate at. Whatever combination of traits you associate with women also exists in some men, and vice versa. The same actions don't become different based on the gender of the person doing them either. A lot of this stuff just strikes me as profoundly sexist, and not even strictly in an anti-men way but also in the sense that it once again reinforces the predator/prey binary of traditional sexism, as radfems always do.

It also highlights and centers gender in a way I find extremely off-putting. I don't want to get any kind of special treatment just for being a woman. I don't want people to assume I am "safer" or more morally upstanding based on gender. I truly don't see myself as being on a different level from cis men (or cis women!) in any way, at least not more so than I do from humans more generally.

I profoundly dislike it when gender is treated like a definitive quality of my life that should color everything I am and everything I do, even if this is done "benevolently".

[nejiverse]

jjk men reaction to your holiday outfits. ᰔᩚ masterlist. ᰔᩚ

—SATORU

"Babe...what's this supposed to be", satoru held up an article of clothing he picked out from your suitcase that refused to close.

"A skirt..", you said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

He snorted. You were definitely lying right now. "Why're you bringing a neck warmer to the maldives?", he even proved it was a neck warmer by throwing it over his head as it rested on his neck.

You giggled at his antics, reaching over to take it off him, each attempt being as unsuccessful as the last as he evaded your hands. "I thought you said you'd help me zip up my suitcase".

He took it off and twirled it around his index which was far too long for his own good. "Gotta fit me in there first".

"You can't come, it's a girls only trip", you huffed, standing on your tiptoes to reach the skirt he held up in the air like a referee holding up a red card.

"You're telling me I don't get to see you in these sexy clothes?", he pouted.

You narrowed your eyes at him, tired hands resting on his chest. "If you give me my skirt i'll try them all on for you".

And just like that, the skirt was dropped into your hands and you could've sworn you could see the very stars shining in his pupils.

"Deal!".

—SUKUNA

"what the fuck".

"Be nice Ryo".

"No, im not gonna be fucking nice", he snarled, holding up your bikini bottoms like they burned his fingertips to touch.

"This is practically just string, might as well go naked", he rolled his eyes.

"You're being dramatic", you stifled a laugh, currently in the process of turning your bedroom upside down trying to find the matching top.

"Do you really wanna be the reason every guy on that beach has a near-death experience", you pinched the bridge of your nose knowing that the 'near' he added was just for decoration. They'd be lucky to escape with their lives.

"I'll be like 10 hours away, you won't be there to kill people im afraid", you faked a sad expression.

"Wanna bet?", he raised his brows, seeing your statement as a challenge.

"Listen, i'll put it on and you're gonna see it's not just a piece of string", he tossed it over to you and you slid it on, looking to see if he was satisfied.

"See?".

He put a finger on his chin, narrowing his eyes and examining your figure.

"Spin around, and lift your shirt a little", aka his shirt.

After you did so, you saw the smirk that grew slowly on his lips.

"It's not bad I suppose".

—SUGURU

You were stood in front of the mirror, hand resting on your chin and hums slipping out of your mouth, so deep in thought that you didn't even notice when Suguru came in.

"Wow", he drawled out, a grin on his lips as he leaned against the doorframe.

Your eyes met his own through the mirror.

"Stop spawning out of nowhere", you turned around, folding your arms.

He closed the distance between you two, taking your hand in his. "Enough about me, look at you", he spun you around, giving himself a good look at your dress.

"Is the colour nice? I think I should've just stuck with black", you took yet another look at the mirror.

"Is that even a question?", he noticed how the zipper only reached halfway, telltale of your efforts of trying to zip it all the way yourself.

His hand caressed your waist, his other hand zipping up you dress effortlessly.

"It's gorgeous, you're gorgeous".

[ronearoundblindly]

Lineage

platonic Bucky Barnes x Alpine!Reader Steve Rogers x shapeshifter!Reader

part of Companion Animal (see previous or series)

Summary: A news story leads your father straight to you, but do you care what he has to say? Steve and Bucky sure don't...

Warnings for mild language and talk of bad situations (child abuse, alcohol abuse, injury, death) ((that sounds awful but it's quick, I swear)). Angst with a happy ending. For safety, though these things are only vaguely discussed, MINORS DNI for this chapter! WC ~2k

The storms have lasted 44 hours so far. Since his apartment is too small for two full-grown humans (who aren’t a couple) to live, you’ve spent the majority of these cooped-up days as Alpine. Buck has resorted to cleaning a rifle on the coffee table, and in doing so, he triggered the laser scope.

Of course, now he’s going on the second hour of using the laser to play ‘kill the bastard red dot’ with you. He’s delighted at your animated, affronted attack on the lightning fast devil, playing along that the perfectly uncatchable point is simply slipping from your paws. It is a blast to chase, but his laugh values even higher than you can jump up the wall.

The dot disappears.

Your eyes are wild, your furry chest heaving from the exercise of jumping and flipping.

Bucky’s phone is turned over in his hand, and he glares seriously at the screen, taking a deep breath. You think it’s because he’s been called to a mission.

Instead, he bites his cheek and looks your way. “Pretty girl,” he says softly, “I need you to not freak out, okay?”

That can’t be good.

“Human-style freak out, I mean.”

Your eyes sting in the drying wind lashing past your fur, but as much as you’d like to blame the alarming tap of errant raindrops in your face, it’s actually that you would be crying were you in your real form right now.

By the time you and Bucky walk up to HQ, you’ve decided it’s best to get this over with. You’d choose to never do this, if you could, but that ship has sailed.

“You don’t have to go in there,” Bucky assures you, the stairwell door clicking shut to give you some privacy to shift. “You give me the word and Steve sends him packing.”

“I’m fine.” You yank the door open and barrel past him. “I’m fine.”

Bucky whistles and ticks his head the other way down the hall. In your defense, you’ve never gone to Steve’s actual office. You’ve only been in this building a handful of times really.

The first face you see inside is his, deliberately placed to show you concern and empathy, because Steve, like Bucky, fears this interaction.

Your father doesn’t even look up.

He sits on a small couch, wringing his hands, a flask and the news article with your picture, smiling, on the coffee table in front of him.

That’s how he found you: a candid photo where Tony Stark stood beside you after creating your collar. The blur in the corner of the photo is Steve’s back if you remember correctly.

Dad focuses on the small vessel like booze will answer all his prayers. 

Some things never change.

“Could we have some privacy?” he asks you meekly.

Before your lips can part, both men behind you bark “no,” punctuated by Steve’s “no way.”

As much as you don’t want Steve and Bucky to know about your previous life, you’re comforted. You cannot stand for them to leave you alone with this man. Buck perches in a corner, looking fittingly scary. After you take a seat across from your father, Steve remains at your shoulder but not too close, arms crossed over his broad chest.

And so it begins.

Though less contentious than you expected, Dad starts into a long-winded excuse that lacks almost any detail. When your father says he looked for you, Steve bristles and bites out a strained “not good enough” before chewing his tongue instead. The sudden gesture not only made your father squeak in alarm, but you shrank away from him in the chair.

He brought alcohol in a flask but swears it’s been hours since he’s had a drop.

“I have a theory that you’re like me…and I drink so I won’t…change.”

 He’s ready to tell you even if you aren’t; Mom knew only that he left home at a very young age, but the truth is he ran away.

Your grandparents fought a lot apparently, and grandpa beat his wife and son. Dad was abused, and abused, and then he escaped by ‘changing.’

He doesn’t specify. He just…changed. He ran, terrified for many reasons, and couldn’t get back home, couldn’t control it, and got caught in a sticky trap and had to rip skin off of his foot.

It hurt, your father swears, so he tried to numb it like he saw his mother and father do. Alcohol made it easier, but he couldn’t control it. 

“Stole jewelry mostly, small things I could carry and hoard, so when I changed back, I could pawn them,” Dad confesses. “You see, when Princess came around and meant so much to your mom, I drank. It was the only way I knew how to stay human! So—so the cat wouldn’t hurt me, but if I couldn’t…”

That’s how he lost ‘his job,’ which wasn’t a real job and wasn’t being supportive of you and mom and certainly wasn’t being a good man anyway.

He hoped you weren’t like him. If he’d told you or Mom and you’d freaked out? He thought he’d end up in a lab somewhere. He was so afraid all the time. Then Mom died, you ran away, he realized you could have shifted and been scared. He looked for you but has no answers, no real understanding of any of it, no stability to offer.

Dad is close to tears, his fingers instinctively stretching toward the flask.

“I wasn’t worth coming back to. I know that. I’ve done too much—too little in the past to be forgiven. I was never wanted this way.”

He becomes jumpier and more agitated by the minute, and then Steve grumbles a single phrase.

“Abused becoming abusers in different ways.”

Your father shivers, squeaks again, and begins to shift. His clothes pile there empty, cascading from the cushions to the floor until a pink nose nuzzles out from between a shirt tail and waistband.

“Oh,” Bucky startles. “Oh.”

“It’s…it’s a rat,” Steve deadpans in confusion. They weren’t paying the closest attention to your father’s implications, likely horrified to know this much more about your past and childhood, this stuff you never talk about because you like to focus on the future.

“Give us some space,” you sigh reluctantly. “Please.”

You know he needs to feel safe but won’t with two super soldiers towering over him in an unknown building.

“Only because you asked,” Bucky says loudly. “Be right outside.”

Steve’s hand rests on your shoulder for a long moment while he debates moving at all. Finally, when Bucky holds the door open for him, Steve lets go and steps closer to the couch, several terrified squeaks coming from the corner.

“We would never hurt her.” Then near silently. “We love her.”

He’s out before you process the words.

In the quiet that follows, while your father calms down and you…think, you go around to the other side of Steve’s desk, hoping the physical distance will help both of you feel less caged.

There—in the righthand, prominent spot by the pen cup—is a framed sketch of you, as Alpine, sleeping. Your chest tightens, full of the lucky feeling that springs from being so much better than the broken creature on the other side of the room. You were older when you shifted. You found Bucky on day one. Those two sweet and patient men barely blinked when you posted needed them.

Dad had none of that.

He coped, but he coped poorly.

Sure, you were both scared and confused, completely caught off-guard by the shift, but you were angry, too. You were grieving and determined. You were…

…not alone.

“I learned to control it,” you project over the desk. “You can, too. In fact, I—I hope you do because burying all your worries and insecurities in alcohol isn’t fucking working.”

Dad reforms in the corner by the couch, pulling his clothes over him quickly. “I know,” he admits.

“Mom would have wanted you to get better, to feel better without numbing yourself. She…she really loved you.”

“I know.” You spin the desk chair around while he slips on his clothing. “They really love you here, too, huh?”

You bite back a smile, realizing the truth of it. You’re not in a ‘phase’ of life. You don’t have to move on from them, your people, your family.

“This—“ you say confidently “—is not a place people like us need to hide.”

Bucky takes over handling your father’s travel back to his home. Dad will be offered any resources he needs to learn to shift at will, but it won’t be you who oversees it. You’re not there yet.

Steve’s hand is on your waist or the small of your back from the instant you emerge, uncaring who in the hallway is watching. Once your father is out of sight, he steers you into his shadow and asks what he can do, what you need from him right now, and you squirrel yourself into the office again.

Steve’s steadying hand becomes an arm then the other, an all-encompassing hug that warms you somehow deeper than your very bones.

Family is exhausting. Family is everything, too.

“I was so young,” he whispers, face buried in your hair while yours nuzzles to his chest, “but I know Ma was…I know my father had his demons. Then my ma fought everybody’s—taught me to fight everybody’s demons—but you don’t have to. It’s an excuse. Unless he proves he’s sorry? Well, even saying it doesn’t undo—“

“Can I stay here a while?” you interrupt. It’s not that you don’t appreciate what Steve’s telling you, but you’ve had enough of talking, you’ve had enough of listening, and you want to settle your soul in the comfortable place it was just hours ago, joyfully bouncing around chasing an uncatchable dot. That feat seems more possible now than fixing a broken relationship.

“Of course,” Steve mumbles to your temple.

You let the shrinking feeling takeover and shift into Alpine. He immediately understands you’re done talking, returning to his desk, assuming you’ll curl up on the couch for some distance.

Rain batters the lone, thin window. Bucky won’t ride back to the apartment in this weather if he can help it, so he’ll wait it out as well.

Instead, you hop into Steve’s lap and watch him type out a message to Buck that you’re okay.

Before you lay down for a nap, one desperately needed to replenish your wiped out emotional bandwidth, you step up on Steve’s pec to headbutt his strong jaw. The fondness makes him chuckle.

He cups his hand around your side and kisses your soft head.

“Careful there, cutie, or I’ll take you home with me.”

Wouldn’t be so bad, you think, enjoying the soothing pitter-patter of drops down the glass pane and the subtle roar from wind, since he loves me an’ all.

[Next Part: Borrowed For Blue]

[Main Masterlist; Steve Rogers Series List; Bucky Barnes Masterlist]

Taglist: @hisredheadedgoddess28 @irishhappiness @fallenxjas @ilovetaquitosmmmm @venunsgirl @fries11 @lovinglimerence @navs-bhat @creat0r-cat @supraveng @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81 @bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries @veryprairieberry @bitchy-bi-trash @rogersbarber @blogbog710 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thiquefunlover63

[diabolicalevil]

Rating Primarch hygiene/care routines

I was being an insane hypochondriac again so I figured I'd replace one form of crazy with another

Lion El'johnson: 6/10

he's being very medieval abt it. I don't think he's doing a good job but generally could be worse. he can't help that all the water sources in caliban are guarded by leviathans

Fulgrim: 10/10

twenty step care routine nothing less ever. that evil demon sword may be glowing but so is his skin

Perturabo: 4/10

his hair oil is WD40. like being half machine is p bad but it simply does not explain how dirty he usually is. soot, mechanical oils and grease, ink etc. he has a sunday everything bath and nothing else

Jaghatai Khan: 5/10

does not like bathing (takes too long) so he does not do it properly but at least he does it semi regularly?

Leman Russ: 8/10

surprisingly clean. im sure we're all vaugly aware of the fact norse men were stealing the english hoes with their sick braids and regular bathing so I assume the fenris is the same. HOWEVER. after he goes hunting you start to contemplate escaping the planet bcs he smells sososososo bad. he's a very sweaty boy

Rogal Dorn: 7/10

lacking if he doesn't have a thing to attend, he's quite busy. but when he does it's the most efficient ever. probably has one (1) cologne fulgrim or horus gifted him years ago and he just keeps buying that one

Konrad Curze: 0/10

disgusting freak man. greasy hair. unwashed. overgrown nails. stank breath. it's bad

Sanguinius: 9/10

very good at normal human bathing and he also likes a sand bath from time to time

Ferrus Manus: 6/10

he has to oil his hands im afraid. its gross and slippery and he hates it too but everyone has to have to live with it. extremely sweaty from being in the forge all day, whether he handles that in a timely manner is up to if he saw fulgrim or not that day

Angron: 8/10

also surprisingly good, saw a post abt how being in water calms him down so I think bath time is his favouritee

Roboute Guilliman: 7/10

used to getting bathed and such for political gatherings. HOWEVER. if he has no such things to attend this man smells bcs he has no time to bathe at all ever. like its bad

Mortarion: 4/10

talking abt pre heresy mortarion. he does not smell fantastic. doesn't particularly like the water so if he must cover his smell he uses strongly scented plants to mask it. yk like how plague doctors did w lavender

Magnus: 6/10

not super great but gets away with it as he's in his fuckign labyrinth library all day

Horus Lupercal: 9/10

have u seen the art of this man holy shit that beard is CRISP. I usually hate cologne but I know whatever he uses is godlyy its crazy

Lorgar Aurelian: 8/10

clean but like scentlessly clean for religious reasons. also for religious reasons if he does smell like smth it's probably incense

Vulkan: 8/10

he smells like metal. if anyone actually smells like those "chopping wood in the forest", "blacksmithing", "musky metal MAN" deodorants its him, but like in a good way. bathing wise he stays on top of it cause his sons r quick to tell him when he's stinkyy

Corvus Corax: 8/10

also scentless but he just finds perfumes, colognes etc overpowering and annoying

Alpharius/Omegon: ???

???? I have no idea

[night-market-if]

Not saying this is all women, but one thing I’ve noticed a lot of in the if community is that women love to throw around the phrase “women supporting women” but then they give all their attention to the male characters. And that’s a shame, because a lot of the female characters are super interesting!

Like I feel sooooo bad for Hazel because she’s a total sweetheart and has a lot of juicy stuff going on with her, but she’s consistently the least popular RO because all anyone cares about is the Milo/Mal. Hell, even Pen has more fans than her and they aren’t even a romance option yet! Belladonna is one of the few female characters I’ve seen who’s managed to avoid this, which is a real testament to how well written she is.

Again, not saying this is all women, and I’m by no means throwing shade at you or anything, it’s just an unfortunate byproduct of the genre being heavily skewered towards straight women.

I really really wish Hazel had more readers. The cottagecore witchy vibes she has is an entire aesthetic. Plus, the situation with her mother? Gah! She is also one of the sweetest and kindest characters while also being kind of off her rocker. I love her so so much. But, since most readers want to romance men, I think she gets put on the back burner. And Bella is a force I guess? So she is gravitated towards more? I'm not sure.

For a while I thought I was doing something wrong with Hazel. I post her shorts and don't even get sign ups for Patreon. But, I'm going to just keep writing her and know that she is a precious little gem that some of you adore to no end.

[docholligay]

Thicker Than Water

Do I even think this is good at this point? Could not fucking tell you. Probably not. But it's more than I have written in a long long time, and it combines just, so many of my favorite things, and it's with the new dollies Papa brought for me from across the seas. About 4300 words, I would love it if you could find one nice thing to say! This will absolutely be the regular liveblog draw and I reserve the right to give extra draws if you lie well.

I HAVE NOT SEEN PAST EPISODE 17. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ME AND KNOW I AM AWARE I AM JUST MAKING SOME SHIT UP BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER THAT'S FINE WE'RE FINE.

The trouble with Hawkeye was--among other things Roy would list--you had to be able to read her. Hawkeye considered what she was feeling at the moment to be, like so many other things, on a need to know basis, and not relevant to the overall mission. 

Luckily, Roy had become very good at reading her. 

Unfortunately, not needing to explain herself to Roy had left her with little will to improve in this arena. 

Even less fortunately, a decision had to be made, and quickly, with nearly a dozen of his men around him, and Hawkeye doing everything she could to hide any anxieties in particular. 

It was like solving a Rubik’s cube colorblind. 

Roy took a long look at Hawkeye, her arms crossed and staring straight forward. A hellish barb stuck out of her leg, blood pooling around it. 

“The convoy should be here soon.” A kid. Probably nineteen. Roy guessed he should probably dismount the high horse about being and recruiting young in the military, but anyone could be a medic. You didn’t need to get to them young. 

“So we should wait?” Roy snapped his fingers, and the medic’s eyes widened at the sparks. 

“Uh, well, the thing is--I mean I don’t have anything to give her, so it--it’ll be bad. But…” he looked over to the wound, making a mental calculation, “Given what I know about the coating, leaving it in might be worse. If we wait. So. But, yeah.” 

“Love the confidence.” He muttered under his breath, walking over to Hawkeye. “Thoughts, Lieutenant?” 

She looked up at him, and Roy tried to read. Her eyes flicked over to a staring group of men, mixedly loyal, annoying, or both, waiting to see her squirm. But she would not give it, and she nodded stoically. 

“Take it out.” 

“Agreed.” Roy spun around and gestured to the entrance of the tent. “If you aren’t operating, being operated on, or me, I need you to leave. Go to your tent, go to the mess, go to hell, I don’t care, but get out of here, and be far out of the way.” 

“I need someone to hold her down.” He nearly stuttered it out. 

“I’m not here to be decorative.” He looked back over to the group. “That was an order I just issued.” 

He eyed Roy as several much bigger soldiers, not to mention what was possibly a good quarter ton of Al, left the canvas tent. Even Ed said nothing to question him, the one bright spot in an otherwise miserable day. 

“I’m not sure...this is going to be excruciating, sir. I--” 

Roy delivered his well-practiced glower.  “And I’m sure she loves hearing that. I wasn’t asking for a consultation. We’ve got it.” 

Roy knelt next to Hawkeye and took off his gloves, folding them neatly and laying them to one side. 

“Give us a minute.” he gave a smirk.  “Please.” 

The young medic looked to them both, and then nodded. “”I’ll get my tools.” 

Roy took off his coat and put it underneath her back. “Remember how all Alchemists are weak and pale and don’t have any physical fitness requirements, so we’re like squishy little baby birds? You’re always telling me this. So, if you fight back too hard, you’re going to hurt me. Having physical standards and all. There’s a reason I don’t mess with you and Hughes’ little war games. You need to try and stay still.” 

“The only weight an alchemist has ever lifted was a book.” 

“You like to say.” He rolled up his sleeves. “So be careful with me, I’m delicate.” He looked her in the eye.  “Me and you. We’ve got it. We don’t need anyone else.” 

He could feel her trembling as he put his arm around her shoulders and grabbed her elbow. It twisted his stomach into a cramp. The medic walked back over to them with a cart, rolled over the stone and dirt. He sat on the ground next to Hawkeye and ever so slowly cut around the wound, exposing the sick burgundy of it. Roy took a quick glance at the ceiling. 

Hawkeye took a short, brave breath and closed her eyes. “Keep talking.” 

“Boy, is that something I thought I’d never hear from you. Maybe he was wrong and you are dying.” He nodded to the young man, who was pale with anticipation. “I was thinking about our office the other day. My office, of course, but I let you in there. Who in the world let you set that up? Was it me?”

There was the high metallic ping of some tool Roy was too cowardly to look at, and she stiffened. 

“If it was me, I’ll write myself up. If it was you, I’ll make you do the paperwork.” Hawkeye’s back arched, and a cry stalled in her throat. “Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’ll have you do the write up either way. Your penmanship is neater.” 

He heard the rasp of something against flesh, and listened instead to Hawkeye, taking a deep breath. 

 “You don’t even--” A swallow “Know where the forms are. Ah!” 

“Exactly. Exactly.” He held her tighter, and she twisted against him. “Makes me feel like a damn kindergarten teacher. And don’t try to make me feel bad about bringing this up now,” he tried to keep hold of her, “you never make yourself available to discuss this when I want to, so I have to take what I can get. Let me tell you what else is irritating--” 

His mind raced through a dozen things. Something she thought would be stupid, and funny, and would irritate her in the way only he could. Something that would make her forget the same thing he was trying very hard to forget. Had she pushed him aside, when the attack came? He couldn’t remember, and he couldn’t ask, because Hawkeye would roll her eyes at him and say something about how he was always in the way, so why should this be any different, or just roll her eyes and expect him to supply the sentence himself. Should it be him, gritting his teeth? He was a talker, he was a wheedler, he was a weaver, that was what he did, was talk and explode things, and if here he was failing at the first one when all he had to do was try and hold on to Hawkeye, to keep her still, and say bullshit, but the sound of it all was so loud, and the smell of Hawkeye’s blood was tin in the air and--

“Sir?” The medic interrupted, his hands bloody and his eyes soft, “This will be the worst part. It’s wrapped--”

Roy popped like hot sap in a fire. “Just do it!!” 

He complied with a twist and a tug, and Hawkeye found the end of her tether. 

“Roy!” She screamed it as she bucked her head against his shoulder, and a sheet of ice went down his back, the taste of bile in his mouth. She stopped herself and bit her lip, a prickle of blood coming from it.  She must have felt him freeze up. Hawkeye.

“No. Don’t.” He grabbed his glove and put it in her mouth. “Bite on that. You know, I think you’re trying to give me a complex about my name.  I always liked it, but you must not.  I am never having a good time when you say it. Not once.You know it means king? What do you want me to change it to? You think I look like an Andrew?” 

There was a crisp yank of Hawkeye’s leg, and then she collapsed into him, panting. There was an arc of small holes across his glove. The sweat from her forehead dripped onto his neck. It took him a moment to realize he and the medic were panting too, the three of them having run a race to the finish. Hawkeye remembered herself first, raising a hand to push the hair off her face. She closed her eyes, took two very calm breaths, pushed herself to to sitting, and promptly threw up in the instrument basin. 

“I got it out.” The medic remembered, the spell broken.  He held the twisted, bloody thing aloft. There was a small chunk hanging from the top barb. 

“I see that.” Roy lamented, his gaze sharpening,  “Go get something to clean her up.” 

The young man sprung to his feet for some fresh towels, and Roy took her shoulders. 

“You’re okay. It’s over.” He reassured himself as he squeezed her shoulder. 

“I’m fine, Colonel. Water.” She spat. “Please.” 

“Right.” He shook off the haze of the moment and began to fix his shirt, buttoning it at the sleeves. “Thanks for missing my jacket. I’ll charge the glove to your paycheck.” 

He walked to the other end of the tent, took the water from the bottle and drank deep himself, the cool of it breaking against the dry of his throat. He poured some of it into a small cup and went back to Hawkeye, who at least had been supplied a towel to wipe her face as the young man bandaged her wound. 

“Here.” He crouched by her. “I suppose you’re going to want the afternoon off. Lucky for you I don’t have much to do.” 

She drank the cup in one gulp, and handed it back to him without a word. She leaned back on her hands, closing her eyes. 

Roy stood up and went back to the water bottle, pouring another glass. He motioned to the young medic, who looked even younger than he was in the wake of the incident. He scampered over to Roy. He should be playing tag or something, Roy thought. It was easy to talk kids into games they had no business playing. It was part of the job.

“You like being a medic?” he nodded. “You want a better position?” Another nod. “As far as you’re concerned, she didn’t even whimper, and I expect that to be the gossip I hear at dinner.” 

“Yes, sir.” He saluted, and it seemed like he meant it. 

“Is she cleared to leave?” Roy wished he’d put his coat back on. He looked more authoritative with the coat. “I’d like to get back to my quarters.” 

“Yes, sir. I doubt she can put much weight on the leg, sir. It’ll be better tomorrow, sir. She needs some rest--” 

“Sir, I got it, I hear you.” He strolled back over to Hawkeye and gave her the cup of water. “You’re dismissed. The only thing I want from you is to tell the doctor to bring something for the pain when he arrives.” 

He gave another stiff salute, and left quickly, seemingly forgetting this was the medical tent and technically his domain. 

Hawkeye set down the empty cup and took a slow breath out. She pushed herself up onto the good leg, and tried to stand up, wobbling nearly over until Roy rushed under her arm. 

“Goddamnit Hawkeye, knock it off. I’m going to go get Armstrong. He’ll just throw you over his shoulder or something. Be done with it.” 

Her eyes widened. “No.” 

“Don’t be more irritating than usual. “ 

“I can manage.” She took a hop, and leaned heavily on Roy. Too heavily. It was easy to forget by looking at her, by seeing how quickly she moved in battle and with a grace that could surprise you, but she was not a delicate fairy of a woman. Roy struggled and nearly fell, which he did not consider very flattering to him, but to think any further than that would be to consider that possibly Hawkeye was right about his book to gym ratio. 

“You can’t. I’m getting Armstrong.” 

“Don’t!” 

He leaned her up against the sturdy metal table, which was currently holding both a bin full of instruments and puke, as well as several bloody towels, and picked his coat up out of the dirt. 

“Listen to me. I cannot carry you. Remember my very moving speech about being a fragile baby bird? I thought it was pretty good, but maybe I was the only one listening.” 

She snapped at him. “What would you do if I fell in combat?”

“What I’m trying to do now! Tell Armstrong to pick you up and move it before I burn a hole in his ass!” 

“I’ll walk. Just--a second. I can do it.” 

“I don’t like your color.” he stiffened up and threw his coat back over his shoulders..  “Lieutenant. I am your superior officer. As your superior officer, I am telling you, you are not going to walk anywhere. As your superior officer, I am telling you to accept the help from Major Armstrong.” 

“Permission to speak freely, sir.” She said, unimpressed by the coat. 

Her eyes attempted to bore a hole in him, but he deflected the gaze with a wave of his hand. 

“No. Denied. I have a pretty good idea of what you’ll say, Lieutenant, and I’m not in the mood.” He pushed back his hair, and it fell into his face just as quickly,  “You have my permission to shut the f--” 

There was a set of footsteps, rapidly approaching the tent, and Roy turned to meet them. 

Hawkeye gave an exhausted smile. “Hughes.” 

“Knock knock.” Hughes walked in and quickly surveyed the bloodied towels, Roy’s crossed arms, Hawkeye’s bandaged leg, and the general sense of argument and exhaustion in the room. “You two have all the fun without me.” 

Roy threw his hand up. 

“Is he allowed to know you’re human, or is that verboten too?” 

---

Out in the dust and sand, things were more like they had been in the war. One of the few aspects of it Roy had never particularly hated, though plenty of people did. There wasn’t enough room for officers to have their own quarters, so there was a tendency to double up in whatever arrangement made sense. No one had even asked if he wanted Lieutenant Hawkeye with him. No one ever needed to. 

They hadn’t asked where he’d wanted his quarters, however. He would have said, “Closer to the med tent, or closer to the officers’ mess tent, or closer to anything at all.’ Or maybe he wouldn’t have, if he hadn’t realized he’d be hauling one half of Hawkeye across the field. Hughes had his arm wrapped around her chest, under her armpits, and was doing a fairly impressive job of hauling her along. Roy both realized he was mostly providing balance, and that he was exhausted by the effort. Thank God for Hughes, he’d thought more than once.

The tent was large canvas, with a large bed, plush as Roy remembered for all the annoying higher ups he had now become, and a smaller, less nice bed for the subordinate officer. When had he become this? It seemed the years had been such a grind, but when he looked back at them, he wasn’t sure what the moment had been. 

Roy gently dumped Hawkeye on the larger bed, Hughes following suit. 

“This--” she protested.

“I’m tired of carrying you. This is where you stay.” Roy grabbed the pillows and piled them behind her back. “Where’s your bag? You’re sweaty and you’re making my bed sweaty.” 

“They told me as soon as I got off the convoy. Doctor’s right behind me, though I’m sure he’s probably reassuring the medic that Roy’s not gonna burn his tent down. Here, I stole this for you.” He took a slice of cake in a cardboard box out of his bag, and set on the side table. “The fancy lads with the fancy food are in camp. You deserve a treat.” 

Roy brought over one of her multiple grey t-shirts, and Hawkeye slowly took off the sweat soaked one and replaced it. Hughes squeezed her shoulder and gave her a little smile. 

“Can I fix your hair?” 

“I’m alright.” 

“Of course you are! I wasn’t worried about you for a minute, you could do this twice a month and come out swinging.” He looked at her.  “Maybe once a month.” He whirled around to look at Roy. “You, I’m not so sure.” 

He grinned and rubbed at his arm, wincing. “I think I hurt my shoulder.” 

“Precisely. Honestly, it’s more that as the father of a daughter, I should learn to do more than pigtails.” He sat down next to Hawkeye.  “Elicia’s hair’s not long enough for a braid, but she’s going to want them any day now. I don’t want to be a leech on Gracia. So let me practice on you.” 

Hawkeye looked at him with a haze of true exhaustion. “Okay.” 

“Thanks.” He took Hawkeye’s hair out of its bun, and smoothed it as he began an uneven low braid, filled more with kindness than with skill, and he laughed. “You see I need the practice.” 

Hawkeye’s eyes were far away, and she started to shake, just a little at first, enough that Roy could ignore it, and then a cold sweat broke out on her brow. Roy could read Hawkeye, but Hawkeye could also read him, which he found at equal parts annoying and useful. 

“I’m fine, Colonel. Don’t be worried.” Her voice did not shake, but only through sheer will. 

Hughes roped up the end of her braid “Who’s worried? We’ll just get you warm. We’ll get some food in you.” He looked at Roy, “This is just a thing that happens.” 

Roy wanted to argue with Hughes that he knew that, that he had seen more combat and more destruction and more ugliness than Hughes had ever seen riding a desk, that he was condescending, but it was so damn comforting that he couldn’t manage any of it. Fucking Hawkeye. Fucking Hughes. How they fucking cared about him. How annoying. 

Roy grabbed an extra blanket from off the end of the bed and tossed it over Hawkeye. “You need to lay down and rest. You’re off duty.” 

Hughes picked up the piece of cake. “You should eat this.” 

“I don’t want it.” She closed her eyes. 

“Where exactly is the rumored doctor?” Roy wondered aggressively. 

“Colonel. I’m fine. Just tired.” 

“It’s Grand’s. I thought you’d enjoy that. Considering your feelings.” Hughes sat down on the bed. “I stole it at great personal and professional risk, so it’s the least you can do for me.” 

There was a call from the front of the tent, and in came a serious looking man, who Roy was delighted to see looked old enough to be shaving. He nodded to Roy and Hughes with an the confidence that could only come from a man who had gotten to avoid the hard work, and set a bottle on the small table next to Hawkeye’s slice of cake. 

The examination was mostly perfunctory, and mostly to avoid having Roy as an enemy, and all that was fine by Roy. Hawkeye looked over at the bottle, sitting poker straight, holding herself still as possible, as the doctor gave her some instruction about rest and signs to watch out for that she mostly planned on following as long as it didn’t get in her way. 

Roy took the bottle and twisted off the top, handing it to her. “Take this.” 

She opened her mouth to protest, but shut it just as quickly, giving in the twin temptations of modern medicine and her own bone-deep exhaustion. She should measure it, she should reject it, she should do a dozen things, but the number one thing she wanted to do was the thing she did, which was take a reasonable drink of the bottle and let it numb her tongue. 

Hughes turned and smiled at the doctor. “Thanks.” 

“That means you’re dismissed.” Roy added. 

“Roy. C’mon.” 

Roy smiled in his charming, warm, and utterly fake way. “Thank you for your help, doctor. I’ll have someone report to you in the morning. That will be all.” 

“Of course, Colonel.” He picked up his bag and left through the flap, Hughes securing it before his shadow could even fully leave. 

Hawkeye laid back on the pillows with a deep sigh and a heavy flop, eyes closed. 

Roy shook his head. “You’re a ridiculous person. I don’t know why I bother.” 

“Stop talking.” 

Hughes grinned. “See? She’s fine. You know you should probably get to--” 

“I don’t need it from you.” He looked down at Hawkeye, pulling up the blankets. “I’m going to touch you. Don’t be paranoid.” he tucked them in around her and turned back to Hughes. 

“Well, you need it from someone, and Hawkeye’s tired, so it’s just me. If you didn’t want to get dinner, I do have some new pictures of Elicia to show you, and--you’ll never believe how cute she’s gotten--you know, Gracia was just saying the other day about you--” 

“Maes, it’s been a long day.” 

“Sun’s not even down yet.” 

“Maes.” 

“Anyway, Gracia was saying you--Hawkeye, are we keeping you up?” 

“No.” She smiled sleepily, her eyes still closed. “I like it.” 

“Great. Anyway, she was saying you should really meet this girl --” 

___

Roy sat down on the small bed and took off his shoes. He blinked back a wave of exhaustion that had finally crashed over him, as if his body had suddenly remembered the effort of holding so much tension. 

“She’s out cold.” Hughes gave him a glass. “Here. Have some brandy.” 

“I do think I hurt my shoulder.” Roy massaged it for a moment. “God, she’s strong.” 

Hughes sat down next to him and took a drink. “You’re not usually on the receiving end, so it’s easy to forget, but considering she’s flipped me over her back a time or two, I’m not all that surprised. ” 

“Thank you.” He stared into his glass. “For being here.” 

Hughes considered a moment. “She scare you?” 

“It wasn’t the greatest moment of my life.” He lifted the glass to his lips, but mostly wetted them. “Hawkeye. God. She’s so stubborn. I fought with her at--” He glared playfully. “See, this is why you need to pick up a job in Eastern. She listens to you. ” 

“No, she lets me get away with things. Besides, Gracia hates the east. You’re on your own.” He shook his head. “Roy, I know we’ve had a lot happen, but you remember the early days. She had to be more. Everyone treated her like garbage for the crime of being a woman. Hawkeye holds a grudge.” He chuckled.  “Honestly, like no one I’ve ever met. Impressive.” 

Roy swirled around the brandy, the heavy legs of the liquor making rivers back into the sea of the glass. He took a drink, long and slow, flipping over the events of the day in his mind and assembling them, like a man playing solitaire. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

“You look tired.” 

“No wonder Information gave you a promotion.”

“Ass.” He snorted, smiling. 

Roy sighed heavily . “She pushed me out of the way.” 

“Of course. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but, she’s just kept doing the same job since you met. You’re her Alchemist. She keeps you alive.” Hughes laughed. “And honestly considering the Alchemist, they ought to give the woman a medal.” He swirled the brandy in his cup. “Hawkeye’s Hawkeye, and I don’t try to fix it. You’re you.” 

“She could burn her life better.”

Roy glanced over at Hughes, who was considering. He took a drink and moved the words around like scrabble tiles, waiting to present them. 

“Not to her, Roy. And that’s her choice to make.” He nodded. “I don’t try to fix it.” 

Roy looked up at the ceiling. Hughes was annoying: Sometimes by accident, sometimes by design, but he was much keener and smarter than he pretended to be. He was a fantastic fighter, a brilliant informant, because he watched people. He understood them. It had been that way since they were young. All these things benefited him.

Hughes interrupted his thoughts by ruffling Roy’s hair with a smile. “And I like you both.’ 

But the greatest thing he was, was kind. This was also by accident and design. 

There was an unsuccessful tangle with the knot Hughes had tied at the midpoint of the zipper, and an angry man called through the tent flap. 

“Hughes, are you gonna come do your job, or are you gonna keep playing grabass with your little friends?” 

“I better go.” Hughes poured the remains of his brandy into Roy’s glass. 

“Pretty sure I outrank him.” Roy said, unsure if it was true, but sure enough that he could make the man think it. 

Hughes stood up and nodded to Roy. “I’ll come check on you after.” 

“I’m beat flat.” Roy shook his head, set down the glass, and began to unbutton his shirt. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Hughes took a moment to look around the room before grabbing his bag. 

“Well, if she’s not gonna eat this, I will.” He picked up the slice of cake and gave a little rub to Hawkeye’s arm.  “Goodbye, little friends!” 

He left out of the flap and zipped it behind him. Roy thought about getting up to tie the knot, but his body felt like it was made out of lead. The bed felt so soft beneath him. He tossed his shirt onto the floor and laid on his back. Hawkeye’s breaths were deep and slow on the other end of the tent. It was okay. Everything was fine. He didn’t need to fix it. 

He fell into sleep like a child falls out of bed, without warning, and all at once.

[libertarianbean-plz-dont-step-sh]

Hey OP I thought mental health was important?

I thought men going to therapy and fixing their issues was something to be encouraged, even only because (from your selfish point of view) it made women's life safer and better

I thought it was supposed to be normalised

Not that you should give a shit about innocent people taking their life

I'm not a particularly empathetic person myself

But not recognising that tens of thousands of men being driven to suicide is OBJECTIVELY a bad thing. It isn't just narrow minded and stupid. It also makes you a disgusting excuse of a person.

Because guess what?

A privileged, non oppressed man WILL NOT be trying to take his life. There is clearly something horribly wrong happening in his life.

But you don't care, because you don't see men as people. Probably because your daddy either left you or beat you. Because as someone with a dad I can't imagine even marginally thinking this way.

Oh, also, you ethically bankrupt, misanthropic husk, I'm sure you would not say that for male minorities right?

You would care about about a black indigenous man taking his life?

Just goes to show the way you think. You don't actually have opinions, you just spout whatever your circles tell you to say and never question it, even if you think you do.

And if not. Hey, I praise your consistency, while acknowledging that it makes you an even worse person

Get fucked cunt, hope you scratch your eyes after cutting some spicy ass peppers

“men’s mental health mont-“ nobody give a damn 😭

[theaskscenter]

Mother I am officially sick of these people thinking we're in Malèna or something and sometimes the laughs makes me question myself when I'm having a bad mood yes I'm not embarrassed to say that .

Since I was a teenager,I always seemed to get attention no matter how basic and low confident I was inside and every body I get out with starts talking about how I almost broke everyone's head and how girls look pissed off but I didn't get it that much ... People scared me

I became confident and more into my looks bc I'm in the beginning of my twenties blah blah but it started to provoke people more especially women which always made it hard for me to have friends or real ones only when I was a people pleaser loser in school.and whenever I visit a doctor or something they think I've a big position here or that I'm a rich girl whose feet never touched the ground . *Had to mention this so you know how far it is going* the bad effect that it also went to the point where they'd start to belittle me by laughing or literally hitting me hard on the shoulders or pushing where there's no one around. I once got hit very hard by this woman I almost felt like my shoulder got broken for days. No exaggeration ~ and yes Ik when it's on purpose. None of them apologized.I'm autistic and I can't even bear that anymore but who doesn't love attention? I want to make it work to my advantage because having that much of a strong presence seems to be my ultimate power what's your advice on that ? I gave up on having friends for now too and I saw that matching my energy to what I appear to be -cocky and all that- is the solution especially while living in a small town, looking pissed off and a total bitch makes them shrink because why would a confident woman behave like that? This much attention bc of the way I walk scares me when I get home and my mind starts playing all that but my major and everything I'm into literally requires that energy and that strong presence and I need to know how to handle it(?)so ai can win . I deserve big and better places and my energy seems to be my golden spoon idc . I got a bit -maybe- paranoid to the point that I now I'm worried about how jealous ppl with strong positions would try to bring me down bc of this too so I really should know how to handle such people bc I don't only have it all but I'm super creative and have a unique mindset that also provokes basic people like them cause damn I'm no Malèna I've angel issues *anger*

First, I think I've said this so much that its beginning to sound cliche and losing its power- women don't like each other. Women hate each other. And its not even personal its socialization and mostly evolution. That girl's girl bs is just that, bs. IF women don't hate you its because you are ugly and not competition. If everyone likes you its because you are harmless. Feminine nature is competitive. Intercompetitive. Think 3 million years ago, what it was like to be female, you'll see its a necessity. When girls don't like you that's normal. Social media sells girl's girl so much you're just ugly and useless. The same way no one is fighting a child. The easiest place to see this is pop culture. For women, beauty is power. Men thrive in community thats why they defend each other like that they needed to be in a pack to hunt. Women have, since the beginning of humanity, needed isolation and power to survive. So while men hype each other up for being rich (For men money is power) women tear each other down for being pretty. Its just how things are fish swim birds fly yada yada all that.

Again. Look at the world around you and think. At least try. See how things work so you don't suffer for nothing.

Second. God, I love you. I love it when people ask the right questions instead of acting like my inbox is a church confessional and I'm selling good nice girl propaganda. I had to read this 3 times to make sure you are asking what I thought you are and yes you are. Made my sunday. I love hot girls amen. Welcome to my page and my space.

SO. HOW TO USE YOUR BEAUTY I can't tell you that because it depends on what kind of pretty you are. Your energy has to be complimented by your looks they have to go hand in hand. If you are the queen energy mysterious pretty like will Lori Harvey you should take the soft power mystery route everything else will be fake. If you are the babyface Tyla Jang wonyoung Selena Gomez pretty you have to take the nice girl pretty BUT people will try to walk all over you so instead of Hailey Baldwin soft power you have to take the Selena Gomez soft power. You have to weaponize your 'innocence'. If you are bad bitch pretty like Rihanna is you HAVE to take the big energy I'm the highest in this room and you peasants bore me path. Like Nicki Minaj does it. The strong outward power. If you have the kind of beauty that's contained like Kendall Jenner or Anok Yai you have to take the I'll mind my business and you'll also mind my business route.

I can't tell you what to do with it because I don't know it. And no I'm not turning the attachment feature for my asks on figure it out. What I can tell you is, for women beauty is power. Whether you use it or its used against you is up to you, but one way or the other it will be wielded by someone against another.

Did I mention that I like you?

Also on the topic, why is it important to you that people like you? Ladies I've said this before, if they don't pay your bills they don't matter. Like, if they did like you, then what? Would you sign a billion dollar deal? Now that they don't like you are you dead? Literally what have you lost that you can't live without? Human approval is so fickle and people don't matter that much. Also, and most importantly- do YOU like them??? Then who cares that they don't like you? This way of thinking is so weird to me I'd get it if they paid your bills but do they? Who even are they that this matters?

Also consider just being a bully to your bullies but don't go to jail.

[i-like-forcefem]

I have found a girl willing to help me with fem clothes and makeup but unfortunately she only wants to put me in skimpy outfits and always says things like how she'll sell me for 2k PLN a night, she, and almost everyone IRL seem to think that the concept of an AMAB wanting to be girly is can only purely be a sexual fetish and I don't like that... Am I the weird one for just wanting to be girly in a non-sexual way?

Hun you're precious and I'm so sorry you're surrounded by such unaware people, you're not the weird on

And if I'm honest your relationship with this girl also sounds really bad for you

You shouldn't be feeling guilty for not wanting to make this a sex thing.

Forced feminization is a kink for a lot of people, and I can see how the girl might find the domination of turning you into a sex worker exciting

And I can speak from experience saying a lot more "normal" people then you'd ever imagine are very sexually attracted to what they would call "men in skirts"

But because of that they can't imagine that the person making herself so cute- isn't doing this for a sex reason? Like she must know she's so sexy right? That this is turning them on? This all for their enjoyment right? Right?

Gosh speaking about this really makes me think about transmisogyny as well, since it truly does not suprise me a wonderful femme as yourself ends up in such a messy relationship just for wishing to experiment

No one would think itd be a sex thing if a cis-girl asked another girl to do her makeup

So, guess what I'm trying to say is know your worth

Don't ever let yourself be forced into these things you don't want to do

Don't let them convince you there's something wrong with you for wanting to be femme

And maybe find a community of other gender-nonconforming gals!

Girls who've been through the same will have an easier time understanding- and if they don't, do make sure to do your do dillegence communicating your expectations and desires- any relationship has 2 parts!

Best of luck cutie, take care of yourself okay?

[plaidos]

hi Roxie, i can come back off anon so you can answer privately if you don't want this started back up on your blog again, but while i personally i fully agree that reading kris as tma is more supported by the text than reading them as tme, can't they still use they/them? obviously nonbinary ppl can use any pronouns, but kris textually uses they/them, and i don't think reading them as transfem has to change that. obviously the majority of ppl are overreacting bc of their transmisogyny meaning that seeing kris as anything but what they see as "nonbinary" (a tme they/them) is setting them off, but i think some people are just upset that a character who is already canonically trans (and so presumably chose their pronouns) is having non-canon pronouns used for them. in real life ppl change pronouns all the time ofc, but you could also say that for hcing binary ("binary", obviously theres pretty much always nuance) trans characters as nonbinary and swapping to they/them, which i think ppl would also have a problem with despite the fact that ppl do that in real life too, ofc due to how many trans women and men get de-gendered with they/them. regardless, i'm sorry for so many ppl taking you in bad faith without even considering your points

so fundamentally, Kris isn’t a real person and doesn’t care if fans “use the wrong pronouns” — these fans are referring to a hypothetical future Kris who decides to come out as transfem and change her pronouns to reflect this.

but i just fundamentally don’t think this is the same thing as headcanoning a trans woman as using they/them pronouns because you prefer her as non-binary — this isn’t a headcanon, you’re mixing fan terms up into this unnecessarily; the girls who are calling Kris by she/her are suggesting that they will actually come out as transfem by the end of the story, and that this will be reflected in part by a pronoun change — as has happened with previous Undertale characters before, such as Mad Mew Mew who first went by they/them pre-transition, and then went by she/her after beginning her transition. this is true for her transmasculine cousin Mettaton too, but obviously he went from they -> he instead. this is very precedented in text!!!!

besides, Kris was obviously textually coercively assigned male at birth. I think it’s very different to “misuse” he/him for Kris as opposed to she/hering them. One is asserting a cisgender status quo, the other is not. It’s very different

[huffelpuff210]

You belong to me now

Dark Mob boss Bucky Barnes x OC Reader

Summary: Regin is Peter's Best friend what happens when Bucky and Steve get a glimpse of you for the first time, Bucky is the most feared boss in the entire country, and what ever he wants he gets, and he wants you.

Notes: Regin and Peter around around nineteen

Warnings: Age gap, forced relationship, forced marriage, violence, obsession, possessiveness.

If Peter wasn't my best friend right about now I would kill him. After my double shift at the hospital, He knocked on my door. Yeah we also live next door to each other, about a week ago he asked me on some advice on how to not show emotion, how to be hard as nails like me...

You see I show little emotion when it comes to people, I barely let my guard down, its how I survived living with my father until I moved out of course. But I don't take too much crap from anyone anymore,

But He asked me, So I did explain to him that the key is to keep your expression the same, that it is sort of like poker, you don't want your opponent to know what you are thinking, if they do then the game is up, 

He nodded agreeing, I did ask him why he wanted to know, He told me he applied for a job as one of the men in Barnes's crew, Even though I wanted to tell him that it was a bad Idea, I supported him, 

Now two weeks later, He needed my cooking skills so to speak, cooking my ass off because he was having dinner with his new boss and his bosses right hand man..

So here I am after shift cooking my famous lasagna, in dark jeans, that hugged my ass a little too well, a flannel and a pair of white tennis shoes. 

"Parker where in the hell do you keep the parsley?" I asked rummaging through the cabinets I am on my toes as I look though the top cabinet, I see a gun, 

"Seriously a gun but no spices?" 

He chuckles entering the room, 

"Mr Barnes says to keep one in close proximity of every room." He says 

"Peter don't call him Mr. Barnes you sound like a teenager." I say as he hands me the spice

"He said not to refer to him by his first name, since were not on a first name basis." He says 

"Then call him boss." I say sprinkling the spice 

"Oh I guess that does work." He says with a chuckle 

I roll my eyes, 

"Honestly how do you even survive without me?' I say in a blank tone, Peter is used to my tone most people take it as offensive or me being a bitch but that is just how I am, 

"I really don't know at this point." He says rubbing the back of his neck, 

"So my tips helped you get the job want more advice about tonight?" I asked putting the dish in the oven, 

"Yes." He says 

"First off stand straight, you are slouching," I say narrowing my eyes at him he straightened up, 

"No talking with your mouth full," I say 

"And go shower and change into something presentable you look like a hobo. and smell like one." I say 

"Yes ma'am." He says with a sarcastic salute, 

"You look like one too." He remarked 

I smirked 

"I'm not the one having a business dinner to impress my new boss now am I?" I say crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes at him

"touché" He says 

"I won't be long." He says walking away 

"And don't douse yourself in Cologne!" I yell 

I pinch the bridge of my nose turning around, bending over to examine the food from outside of the oven, 

                                      Bucky POV 

Me and Steve enter the home of Parker, the kid means well but he acts like he's thirteen calling me mr Barnes, so Steve suggested dinner with the kid just to see how things go. 

We hear talking, 

"Mr Barnes says to keep one in close proximity of every room." We hear Peter  say

"Peter don't call him Mr. Barnes you sound like a teenager." we hear a female voice 

I swear if it's his mother I'm out..

"He said not to refer to him by his first name, since were not on a first name basis." He says 

"Then call him boss." we hear

We look at each other, I like this person already, We peek around the corner not making ourselves known, it was a woman about Peter's age, She had her dark hair in a messy bun, She looked to be about 5'4 maybe 5'3, she had piercing green eyes, she wore dark jeans, a dark red and blue flannel with a grey shirt underneath, 

She was breath taking, 

"Oh I guess that does work." He says with a chuckle 

she rolled her eyes, 

"Honestly how do you even survive without me?' she say in a blank tone, I smirked 

"I really don't know at this point." He says rubbing the back of his neck,

"So my tips helped you get the job want more advice about tonight?" she asked putting the dish in the oven, 

Me and Steve exchange looks, I smirked watching the exchange 

"Yes." He says 

"First off stand straight, you are slouching," she says narrowing her eyes at him he straightened up, 

"I like her." Steve mouthed I nodded 

"No talking with your mouth full," she says

"And go shower and change into something presentable you look like a hobo. and smell like one." she says

"Yes ma'am." He says with a sarcastic salute, 

"You look like one too." He remarked 

she smirked 

"I'm not the one having a business dinner to impress my new boss now am I?" she says crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at him

"touché" He says 

"I won't be long." He says walking away 

"And don't douse yourself in Cologne!" she yells

she pinches the bridge of her nose turning around, bending over to examine the food from outside of the oven, and I get a nice view of her nicely shaped ass. Now I'm not much into younger women, But this one... this one I like.

I clear my throat. 

She looks over her shoulder with a bored look, 

"One minute." She says 

We both were a bit confused most people cower at the sight of us, 

She pulls the dish out of the oven taking it over to the table placing it in the middle straightening the dish, 

"Buy my estimate you two must be Barnes and Rogers." She says 

I hold out my hand, 

She takes it, 

"Please call me James or Bucky, and this is my right hand Steve." I say 

She shakes my hand then Steve's 

"Regin, Nice to meet you, I'll go fetch him for you." She says walking away without another word, 

"Oh I really like her." Steve says 

I chuckled 

"She's mine pal." I say with a smirk

[tfewondergottenau]

✧ Back to Skyland…?

After the not so mysterious message from the second ruler of Skyland has been sent to The Føol. Unexpectedly, he has accepted going to the spot he has been told. Turbø standing in front of the small, yet tall building that seems to be a clock tower besides the cable car transport between Bon thé Vil and Skyland. There's more small buildings around too like the buying tickets and waiting spot, but whatever that isn't important right now.

Continue reading ↷

The robot woman, Pal, standing beside him while putting her hands on her hip. It's looking like she isn't trusting what the letter said.

“ I thought you would be smarter than this, Turbø. This is clearly a trap. ” She said.

“ For what?! I already told you that there's no point for them to capture us. Our bounty is gone, we get banned from the city, we even kill the monster not long ago!- ” The Føol reply back, but get interrupted by Pal.

“ But what if they trick us to go back to the city, and then blame us for sneaking in, so they’ll have a reason to imprison us. You know that Frollo hates us and how much damage we do there. ”

What she has is a possibility to happen. It's making Turbø rethink this for a little. He put the hand on his chin, before looking back at the clock tower.

“ Then.. if they want to trick us. Why did they even send a letter of wanting to meet us in person first anyway? That can be evidence later. Or maybe they're just that stupid, I don't know. ”

A lot of things are not clear. Both Turbø and Pal are discussing this for a while until The Føol looks up again, but this time; it’s different. He sees a blurry shadow of a man behind that clock. He doesn't even know that someone can inside that, but at least there's actually someone waiting for them… and even looking at them for a whole time.

“ Maybe we should give it a try. I mean, I think it can't get any worse now, right? ” 

Turbø said as a final word before walking towards the front door, it's usually locked or only for staff. He's knocking the door for someone inside to notice, and soon, the unlock sounds can be heard. Looks like it's really welcome to both of them.

Turbø offers to be the one who opens the door, but when he takes a look inside; it's mostly empty like he's kinda expected to be. The inside is covered with brown wood, looks old but stable. There's a spiral staircase in the middle for going up to the clock above.

Both of them looked at each other for one last time, checking their weapon in case something went wrong before starting walking up the stairs. It's very dusty for sure, and also in every step having a squeaking sound of the wood. When they arrive at the top, it's quite a little more spooky than their thoughts.

The top is still dusty like the others. Above them is full of cogs for the clock. And the only thing that lets the light shine in the room is the giant clock at one of the walls. It's weird to see another side of it. In the middle of the room; there's two chairs and one table between them. And on one of them having a man sitting on it.

A pale skin man with gradient green to yellow bob hair, he's wearing his goggles down; probably to keep himself from looking mysterious and professional. That man who's known as the head of Madness factory, aka the secondly ruler of Skyland, or in what most of the people know; Orson, the living ghost. 

“ You really come here, The Føol ” He said with a monotone voice. However, Turbø decided to reply with a little off topic question.

“ Wait, how long have you been waiting in this building? ” He ask, making Orson going quiet for a sec before replying

“ …Half hour, but that isn't important. How about you take a seat, so we can talk about our deal? Also, sorry that I didn't prepare the seat for you. ” 

Orson turns around to Pal, before she shrugs. She seems to not mind it. On the other hand, she can get ready if anything bad happens. While Pal is moving to standing in one corner of the room, keep the eyes on two men. Turbø having sat down in the opposite side to Orson, facing him.

“ First, I’m not saying that I’m gonna accept whatever deal you're talking about, I’m not gonna fall for your silly trick you're gonna put on us.” Turbø said with the series tone, making the other side know that he’s not gonna take this easy.

“ Oh.. I understand that you're still paranoid about us. You can leave if you're not interested in the deal, but I’m just waiting for you to listen first. ” His voice sounds so professional and reliable. Absolutely what you would expect from someone who's doing the paperwork and taking care about the deal between land for Frollo.

The Føol didn't reply back, crossing his arms and leaning on a chair, still not fully trust him, but still giving it a try.

“ As you know, right now we're searching for the illegal Casino that's suspected to be open somewhere in Skyland, but we couldn't find it. So, we want you to come help us find it, both of you. ” He's looking to both Turbø and Pal before continuing. 

“ You might be curious why we're picking you two. Well, we see the potential in both of you. We might underestimate you at first but after seeing how much you can do while being in the Skyland. We're fascinated by how much you two know our city better than us. The little hidden ally and everything… and we believe that you might know something about the Casino, or at least be able to navigate it. ”

Turbø is still a little hesitant about it. Even though he's hearing those sweet compliments out of Orson, there's still not enough for him. He isn't being some kind of person who's care about that Casino or anything, he's only looking forward for everything and anything that keep his journey in progress; he can go and show them the location of that Casino anytime he wants, however he can't really said the location out because of some weird spell they have.

“ I see.. So, you want to collaborate with us, huh? You know I wouldn't do anything without benefits, right? ” He clearly wants something in return. 

“ We know, and we know what you're looking for. If you help us, not only will you get money, but you’ll also be a free man in Skyland; we’ll not hunt you down anymore, and help you to your next destination. For summary; We’ll give you money, you’ll no longer get banned from Skyland, and we’ll give you the free tickets for going to the Caspian Sea. If possible we might contact the ruler to help you too. What do you think? ”

That's… an unbelievable good deal for both of them. Definitely benefits like never before. Turbø looking at Pal, it seems like she's also a little hesitant about this too. Skyland is truly the only thing that's preventing them from getting to the next land, if they can pass it, everything will be a lot easier. It's too risky to pass it out. Turbø let out a sigh before leaning forward.

“ ..You really know how to convince people. I hate that it's working too damn well too.. I accepted the deal. ”

Pal at the corner looks a little surprised, but there's nothing can do about it either. Hoping this is for the best. Turbø reaches his hand out to shake for the deal, which soon; Orson accepts.

“ It's good to make a deal with you, sir. I’ll send the invite to Skyland later, and we can discuss the plan. ”

Turbø isn't sure if this is good or not, but no matter what, it's for the best for both of him and Pal.. 

Now, all he needs to do is wait for what is coming next.

————————————————————

[meear]

But what Ryukishi portrays in ep8 does isn't acceptance, it's erasure. The battle in the golden land is an example of this. The goats are right to call out Rosa for being a neglectful mother who'd prioritise her dalliances with men over her daughter. Her writing wouldn't be half as good if that wasn't true. But instead, Ryukishi urges you to focus on the genuine love she did harbour for her daughter. Ryukishi is telling you "whatever else Rosa did is not the point right now and you should only remember the good things about her", and the other perspective is presented as villainous for refusing that.

He's not accepting both, he's framing her family' flaws as a side of themselves that wasn't as important and that Ange shouldn't focus on too much, for her own happiness. He can describe it however he wants to make it sound better ("believing in her family", "having love", etc etc), but it is ultimately running away and the fact that the Trick ending is obviously presented as the bad choice (despite being simply the truth) is another proof of that.

to R07, you either accept magic as a coping mechanism or you become Erika. Love and truth are fundamentally opposed. There is no world in which Ange can just accept her family as shitty people and still live happily. So no matter how many times she does it, Ange is doomed to always freak out at finding out the truth, even after knowing about it and preparing herself, because the point is she'll never be able to handle it.

The ep7 tea party is kind of like that too. The red flashbacks about KuwaBeato and Kinzo actually trying to steal the gold from the Italians are framed as Bernkastel "tearing out the guts". The villain defiling the sanctity of the story and showing you something you're not meant to see, something that was kept hidden to preserve the dignity of the corpse. Sometimes r07 has good takes on abuse, but sometimes it's obvious he buys into the "why are you mentioning it now/we don't need to know this/this should stay private/this is inappropriate/we're in polite company and you're airing out the family's dirty laundry" mindset (which might be even more prevalent in Japan, I don't know).

The red flashbacks are essential to understand what Kinzo really is and how much he embellished his own story to make himself look better, and they should be exposed, because the extent of Beatrice Ushiromiya's abuse shouldn't be something that you hush up to protect Kinzo's privacy. Kinzo's true backstory in the army is a fundamental part of his character. But by having it exposed by Bernkastel, the obvious villain of the story who only does it for her own sick pleasure, Ryukishi makes it very clear he thinks the very act of revealing it is pointlessly voyeuristic. "Good" truth-seekers like Will let sinners have their little skeletons in the closet out of respect (incidently KuwaBeato never gets any respect or even her own perspective, and her rape is entirely about developing Kinzo's character and how bad that made him feel, so the very narrative is validating her treatment as an object, but I digress)

Basically it's exactly that kind of thinking which is pervasive in ep8. I don't see Ange simply accepting her family as humans, both good and bad, because episode 8 doesn't show her actually doing that work (the manga does make more of an effort to depict this though). She just goes from one extreme to the other (not that she was even wrong originally). She's not reconciling their flaws with the possibility of happy memories. Instead she stops addressing the flaws entirely and they're just slander from the outside world' Instead, there is one way to remember them which is overwhelmingly presented as more correct than the other . Ange made very valid points about not wanting to comfort herself with illusions, and then she suddenly drops all of these points without ever addressing them. She's framed as wrong for wanting to know the truth, even after reading Eva's diary. In the VN, she is very apologetic about reading it - about seeking something that was supposed to be forbidden knowledge. She had every right to read it. Yet when she does, she finally "sees sense", Battler's mindset becomes the correct one in the eyes of the narrative, and even worse, she shares the blame with everyone for the way things turned out (despite ep4 addressing the flaws in Japan's collective responsibility culture, through Ange's character). All of her negative perspective becomes her "irresponsible imagination", and she tells Battler that the truth "wasn't that important" because she should've just believed in her own truth. That she should've just accepted what Battler was trying to show her.

There is way more weight given to the positive side of the family (for Ange's sake because she needs something to hang onto) and that's what makes it so cheap and hollow. There's admitting that abusers are people outside of their abuse, that they can show warmth, play pranks, have fun, act sympathetic, etc. of course, and I enjoyed Umineko because it knew how to that in the first place. And there's choosing to depict Kinzo's last appearance in the story like... That, and having Ange say she should've called Eva Mom.

The manga version is at least a bit better in showing a more balanced perspective between the family's good and bad sides and the dangers of using magic as a way to cope, so I guess R07 did have some changes to make... but the trick/magic dichotomy is still there and I'll never approve of the idea it's somehow voyeuristic and immoral to reveal the truth behind a mass murder just because there are some true crime freaks who want to find out for the wrong reasons. Not when the memory of innocents is being tarnished because of that selfish choice (and it's even worse because Virgilia clearly addresses this in ep5, that Ange is an idiot because keeping the box closed just enables more people to speculate about her family), when Gohda can be treated as a potential killer despite not doing shit, and not when the victims have loved ones who are very much alive and who are still suffering (Nanjo's son, Kumasasa's grandkid, along with many other people who might've cared for the dead and might like closure as well, such as Jessica and Battler's friends, Maria's teachers, etc. But Ryukishi has a funny definition of reading with love which doesn't include characters he doesn't care about). All because of ep8's asinine ideas of not letting the truth taint your own, and of a serial killer needing to have their identity protected for some reason

Is it ACTUALLY possible to solve Umineko on your own? Like, realistically?

This article contains no spoilers beyond chapter 2, which is the bare minimum you need to read to even understand what Umineko is about.

As I was reading the answers arc of the Umineko no Naku Koro ni visual novel, also known as Umineko When They Cry, also known as Umineko no Naku Koro ni Chiru, I wondered:

Can this mystery actually be solved before the story explains the solution? And by “actually” I mean “being an average reader that spends a couple hours thinking really hard about it”, since I assume that it is solvable if you are a die hard fan with 4.000 free hours that is willing to re-read each chapter 10 times and write a book full of notes.

Also, by “possible” I mean that the solution makes perfect sense and can be reached by following logic steps.

I feared that looking up the answer on the internet might produce an accidental spoiler that ruins the whole experience. Still, I took a peek, since I needed some guarantee before committing the time to try and solve it.

I found some threads on reddit where everyone agreed that it was in fact solvable. Some people going as far as claiming they solved it all by episode 4.

So I tried to solve it. I spent some hours on it, rereading some chapter and competitions of red truths. I had some theories, but nothing that neatly explained all the murders. It didn’t look like I could get any further, so I kept reading.

After having finished the whole visual novel, reading over the manga, watching 8 hours of video on youtube, and reading old forums for even more hours, this is my red truth:

It is impossible to properly solve Umineko.

But then, how come that all those people claimed to have solved it themselves?

The truth about those people is that they did not solve Umineko, not by a long shot.

What those people did:

- Figure out a certain twist in the story that heavily implies who the culprit is and assume that’s the solution.

What those people didn’t do:

- Actually go through every murder and provide a proper explanation of how that character could have done it, supported by clues in the game and without contradictions.

Why is it impossible to properly solve Umineko?

- Most of the actions that the culprit must have taken are not hinted at all. - There is no limit on how many culprits/accomplices there are. - There is no guarantee that the accomplices or even the culprit are the same in all the games. - There is no guarantee that the culprit is not killed. - Anything that is not a red truth can be disregarded as “lies of the narration”. - Red truths are valid as long as they are technically true in any possible context or interpretation, which makes them worse than useless (more on this later). - It’s never explicitly stated that the Umineko mystery follows any of the “rules of a good mystery” explained in the story.

So, basically, there isn’t nearly enough information and rules to find the truth. Even if you reached a solution, you could never be sure it is the solution, and coming up with a solution given the listed conditions is unsatisfactory and trivially easy.

Before proving that, let me quickly address the riddle of the epitaph.

Is it possible to solve the riddle of the epitaph?

No.

Why is it impossible to solve the riddle of the epitaph?

Because the solution requires:

- The map of a certain country during a certain time period (none of which are mentioned in the first 4 chapters, I think, and I doubt you could even find it on the internet). - Expert knowledge of Japanese kanjis and a some Chinese. - Solving metaphoric riddles of questionable logic. - To be actually present in Umineko’s world so you can examine and interact with “the door to the golden land”.

However, the riddle of the epitaph is possible to guess.

This is what anyone who claims to have solved the epitaph actually did. They guessed the answer using these 3 steps:

1- Ignore the most convoluted parts of the epitaph and assume the location of the door to the golden land based on what would make sense for the narrative of the story. 2- Solve a play on words by interpreting it in the only way that would fit the description of that place. 3- Roughly guess how opening the door to the golden land could work.

—-

Now, let’s go back to the solution to the murders. I claimed that coming up with a solution given the listed conditions is unsatisfactory and trivially easy.

Let me demonstrate. Here is the solution for all the murders in Umineko assuming the culprit is whatever character you want:

- All the servants, Nanjo, and all the members of the family required to make it work are accomplices. They are either bribed, threatened, convinced or tricked. - Every death is being faked unless stated in red. - Every scene not directly witnessed and described in a literal fashion by Battler is a “lie of the narration”, so it never happened. - If it is stated in red that your chosen character is not the culprit, it is because the word “culprit” is not being used to mean “the mastermind behind the murders” but “the responsible for some particular action” that your chosen culprit is not directly responsible for. - If it is stated in red that your chosen character is not a murderer or did not kill a particular person, it is because while carrying out the murders they were roleplaying Beatrice, so the red truth is considering that the actual murderer is their Beatrice impersonation, not their actual self.

Easy, right? Completely unsatisfactory too.

You would assume that the actual solution is elegant, doesn’t require twisting the red truth so much, and is completely supported by hints, but you would be wrong.

The VN doesn’t even explicitly confirm who the culprit is and it doesn’t go into detail about how each murder was carried out either. However, the manga does. I will refer to this as the “official solution”.

The official solution is so bad and full of holes and contradictions that a lot of people think it’s actually a trap set by the author for “people who stop thinking”.

So there’s 2 possibilities here:

- Umineko is a disappointment and is not solvable. The author did a poor job shoehorning explanations that were not hinted and forgetting details that contradict them. - Umineko is a hidden masterpiece. The author committed to a master trolling and pretended, even during interviews, that the flawed official solution is the truth, all just to hide the proper solution for those who don’t stop thinking. Let’s call this the “hidden solution”.

Why is the official solution so bad? Short edition.

I’ll go into more detail later, but in brief:

- The solution requires fairly ridiculous “anime logic”. - The solution doesn’t follow the rules of a proper mystery that Umineko itself explains. There are no clues to figure out how most of the murders where carried out or by whom. - The are as many clues pointing to the culprit as there are red truths contradicting it. - The solution is willing to disregard basically everything that is not a red truth as “lies of the narration”. - The red truth directly contradicts this solution, unless we interpret it in arbitrary and twisted ways in order for it to mean something else. - The logistics and details of the murders are ignored. Corpses are moved around like pillows. The culprit is never stained by blood. Shots are not heard unless the plot requires so. Etc.

Is it possible to reach the official solution?

It’s possible to figure out who is the official culprit. There are heavy hints for it, hard to see initially, but sorta obvious in retrospect. Since it’s a big twist, you should be fairly certain that you found it when you do.

However, for the reasons listed before, finding the culprit doesn’t allow you to find the solution to the murders, since anyone can be an accomplice, any narration can be a lie and any red truth can be interpreted as something else.

So, what about the hidden solution?

Is it possible to reach the hidden solution?

I’m not saying a hidden, elegant solution doesn’t exist, but for the reasons listed under “Why is it impossible to properly solve Umineko?”, you would never know if it is elegant enough to be the actual truth. It would also certainly require 4.000 hours if not more. Such a hidden truth would require you to disseminate and analyze almost every single word of this 120 hours novel.

However, I don’t see how you can make sense of all the red truths without twisting their logic and meaning so they don’t contradict real facts or one another, which makes me think that the actual solution being bad is more likely than a hidden, perfectly logical solution.

Up until chapter 6, I would have totally bought that the whole story was perfectly thought off up to the last detail, but chapters 7 and 8 are so bad I don’t believe that anymore.

Why is the official solution so bad? Extended edition.

Since I don’t want to spoil it, let me give you a fictional example of a solution that is roughly as bad as the official one, with the same kind of justifications.

The following are not spoilers, just a completely fake theory I just made up that not only appears to fit perfectly as a solution, but also appears to be heavily hinted through the game:

The culprit is Maria. She is actually not 8 but 20 years old. This is the big twist that makes people think they have solved Umineko upon realizing it, regardless of whether it completely fits or not. Then they reinterpret everything as needed to make it look like it’s supporting this truth, as I’m about to do.

This truth is right in your face the whole time, as Rosa is constantly scolding her for not acting her age. It makes no sense that she would be that bothered by it if Maria was actually 8 years old.

This is also heavily hinted by the way Rosa abuses Maria in front of other people while they all allow it. Hitting a 20 years old is not nearly as abusive as hitting an 8 years old.

All the characters agree to treat Maria as an 8 years old since that’s the way she acts and they don’t want to be mean to her, unlike her mother. This is also the reason why she is visually depicted as a little kid; as far as anyone is concerned, she is a little kid. “Without love it cannot be seen”; because they love Maria and respect her personality, they can see her as a kid.

This is all a facade maintained by Maria to trick everyone. She’s such a fanatic of the occult that her mask slips when talking about the topic and she starts acting like the creepy adult she actually is. Another massive hint that’s in your face the whole time.

She’s also shown to know Hebrew and have the whole Bible memorized. There’s no way she could be a little girl.

Even her appearance reveals the truth: She’s the only one who wears a crown, signaling that she’s the queen of the chess game.

If you have read up to chapter 5, you should recall a scene in which a certain character seriously confronts her about the existence of magic as if she was an adult, to the surprise of everyone else, who think this character is being rude. This is another massive hint that she’s actually an adult and everyone is pretending for her sake.

The reason she carries out the murders is because she truly believes Beatrice exists and will be resurrected with the ritual depicted in the epitaph. She is always saying so openly and being unaffected by the murders no matter how grueling they are or if the victim is her own mother.

The kind of person who claims to have solved Umineko would have stopped here and decided the mystery is solved. The twist is obvious in retrospect and it seems like Maria could actually have carried out the murders if she was an adult. It’s obvious that this is the solution, so there’s no need to think it further or go through every murder to check if it actually fits and is supported by clues. This story is a masterpiece!

But now we are on the internet and there are idiots who claim this solution is bad or contradictory, so let’s prove them wrong:

First chapter, first twilight:

Maria enters the parlor with a gun and kills everyone.

Yes, she kills 6 people by herself without missing a shot, even though in later chapters it’s said that the guns in the mansion don’t shoot straight and are very hard to reload for an amateur

She then carries 6 corpses to the storeroom at the other side of the garden all by herself, without getting blood stains on her clothes or on the path to the storeroom, and without anyone hearing a thing.

Later on, Natsuhi also has a gun. This confirms that there are guns in the mansion, so Maria could also get a gun, making this crime hinted and solvable.

First chapter, second twilight:

Maria goes to Eva’s room. Eva has no reason to suspect her, so she lets her in, then Maria kills her and Hideyoshi with the gun she carried hidden on her purse (another big hint; she’s the only one who can carry weapons around without being noticed).

The chain on the door was never set, that was a lie of the narration. This makes sense since Battler himself didn’t witness the scene. Genji and Kanon find the bodies and go tell other people.

While they are out, Maria somehow draws a giant magic circle in blood on the door, without moving the bodies or staining herself, the floor, or the bed where the corpse of Eva is laying. She had drawings of the same circle on her notebook, making this crime hinted and solvable.

You get the point, so let’s skip the rest of the murders and assume they can be explained by Maria somehow.

Let’s assume that in later chapters it is said in red that Maria is dead and her death was a homicide. This might seem to contradict our theory that Maria is the culprit, but it actually doesn’t. The sentence is referring to “Maria the kid”, which is treated here as a different entity from “Maria the adult”, in a similar way as how Maria treats her mother as either her real mother or “the evil witch” depending on whether she’s angry or kind. “Maria the kid” being dead means that she has discarded that facade and won’t use it anymore*. This can be considered a homicide since “Maria the adult” is the one who decides to “kill” her facade.

*She will actually use it one more time when it’s convenient for the plot, but this is treated as a resurrection and doesn’t contradict the truth that “Maria the kid” was dead at that point in time.

All of this makes sense and is solvable.

This is what the official solution apologists believe.

Umineko completely betrays the player.

Umineko is constantly asking the player to solve its mystery, going as far as to insult readers who don’t try hard enough, and seemingly assuring you that the game is perfectly solvable and follows the rules of a good mystery.

All of this is a lie.

I take particular issue with the red truth.

The red truth is introduced in a way that requires trust and cooperation from the player. It is not realistic to think that Battler (or you, the player) would be convinced that a lying witch that is trying to trick you would be trustworthy when explaining the rules of the game or the nature of the red truth.

However, you do the concession because you are, in fact, playing a game. You understand that the game is challenging you to solve it, so some rules must be laid out.

The red truth is accepted as a shortcut to avoid having to read through 2 hours of explanations for every minute detail. You accept that when “character X is dead” is said in red, the purpose is to tell Battler (and you, the player), that you should not waste your time trying to find ways in which the death of character X could have been faked, and for the story to not waste time either trying to deny every possible way to fake that death (which would be futile anyway since you can’t believe anything the witch says).

Red truths are sometimes used for misdirection, but that’s all good and part of the fun as long as they can still be taken at face value and interpreted literally. “Character X didn’t exit the room” tricks you into assuming that character X was inside the room to begin with, but the solution here is to take the red truth literally and don’t make any extra assumptions, not to change the meaning or the context of the red.

Eventually, however, the game provides consecutive red truths that directly contradict each other. The official explanation is that a red truth is valid as long as there is a way in which it could technically be interpreted as true. For example, if you and I are in the same room, I can claim in red that “there’s only one person in the room”, because I’m speaking out of context and by “the room” I’m not referring to this room, but any other room with a single person in it, or because you did cruel things in the past, so I consider you to be a “monster”, not a “person”. Therefore, the red truth “there’s only one person in the room” is no truth at all.

You might think it’s a cool twist that the red is not reliable and the witch was tricking you all along, and I agree that from a narrative standpoint it is.

However, from the point of view of a player being encouraged to try and solve the mystery, it is a complete betrayal of the truth you placed in the game.

The ending of Umineko is awful and the whole “solvable mystery” is a hurtful lie.

[h0estar]

What do u think is the difference between the Apothecary diaries world and our current world's reality? Is the modern world we live in now, capitalistic as a primary? What do you think Jinshi and Maomao's position would be in our world? I mean regarding on their circumstances— I have a scenario like Tamaki and Haruhi from Ouran Host Club. But still, our world is more complex and diverse in technology fields than Ouran Host club world. And given the revolution of artificial intelligence, coming next 5 years would be totally different.

okay, first of all, very interesting question. second of all, my brain isn't built for something like this but i will try to answer as best as i can. sorry if i don't answer it as well as you expect me to but i'll try!

i'm going to point out the obvious here and say our modern reality (esp for women) isn't as harsh as it is in the apothecary diaries' world. for one, women in their time had practically zero rights and respect (though that is still very much happening today in some places). however, at least most women irl have access to education, voting rights, vast career options, free will and speech, and generally just be able to live their life independently without relying on men. at least in our world, women have laws protecting them against violence and sexual acts, and it's no longer a requirement to marry, bear children, and live for your husband; that's just a choice out of many—something the average woman in TAD universe could never dream of experiencing.

i'd say capitalism is one thing both this fictional story and our current reality have in common. just like irl, characters (mostly commoners) in TAD are scraping by to make profit: maomao with her apothecary shop, granny with the verdigris house, quack's family with their paper business, gyokuen with his family and the WC, and we've got mentions of merchants a lot in the story. there's also a moment in the manga i remember where maomao was carting books to the palace and she planned to overcharge Jinshi (wringing him out for his money to gain extra profit. go maomao!), too bad suiren caught her lol. anyway, yeah, like IRL the commoners are doing what they can to survive, while the important and rich ones (the royalty and ministers) cozy up in the court and palace, completely indifferent to the state of small villages and townsfolk outside (the farming villages affected by taxes, women in the red light district, kidnappings, slavery, etc).

as for jinshi and maomao's positions in our world, hmm, this is purely imagination but if we follow their ages (maomao at 20 and jinshi at 21), that'd make them college students. maomao would definitely be a pharmacy student and might even go to medical school. she'd also own a flower shop 100%, or at least a botanical shop. jinshi would probably be studying economics, anything business-related, or international relations. that's as far as my imagination will take me.

and if they're going to be like tamaki x haruhi in this little modern world, then maomao might accidentally ruin one of jinshi's projects (in the name of science!) and she'd have to pay him back by working for him (idk how; maybe by being his personal medic or offering him tips on how to make business out of medicines lol). or maybe jinshi just might stumble in maomao's little flower shop by chance, and find her studying, completely disinterested in him (despite his popularity), and this throws him off, lol. either way, i'm fairly certain they'll still find each other in this world, and in many worlds.

the two of them would also be fascinated by technology (both their hypothetical degrees often heavily rely on it), but they would probably reject the notion of using AI in extremely simple, practical, or professional tasks. however, jinshi has a progressive mindset and maomao just goes with the flow. they might accept this technological advancement (as part of the world)—they wouldn't try to fight it—but they also wouldn't use it as often.

thanks for this question lol. sorry i took so long to respond, i haven't been on tumblr for 2 days oops.