#I don't want a reaction but I also dont want them to say they've always known

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[poppy-metal]

losing my marbles thinking about jordan taking your virginity (it's all i talk abt atp ik it's annoying 😔). about how it's not their first time having sex, but it's the first time it's meant something to them--the way it makes them feel something they've never felt before. it having always been a means to an end, not something they associated with love or some sort of deeper connection--just something mutually beneficial n sometimes necessary.

but then there's you, looking up at them like they're your whole universe. pupils blown out, eyes hazy n teary when they're sliding their fingers inside of you--your arms shaking, clinging to them like a lifeline. little cunt clenching around them when they tell you how good you are, praises of "that's it, baby. you were made for this, weren't you?" nd remarks on all your sweet lil reactions :( nd they're so, so angry at you--at the throbbing between their legs--but it melts away when you look up at them all desperate and fuzzy. cut you off w their lips on yours when you open your moutb to say something that's only gonna cloud their judgement even more.

nd it's finally something real for them--their thumb rubbing your hip softly saying more than any "i love you" ever could. they're angry at themselves bc they're supposed to be woke!! know that virginity is a construct!! but some debauched and desperate and possessive part of them wants it so bad. wants to be the first person to make you cum on their fingers, their mouth, their cock--wants to be the only person. ever. know that won't happen, can't happen, but want it so bad it hurts a little bit.

so they have to settle for this--making you feel so good that there are tears streaming down your pretty face. taking care of you, their sweet little thing, in a way they never knew they needed to. trying not to think about how this, you, has done more for them than anything or anyone else ever has. try and fail to pretend that they're not falling in love w you.

once they're done having grand realizations they go back to being pissed at u 😋 compensating for all the lovey dovey gross stuff they wanna do witb you

-🦸‍♀️

this is so.

them being angry and resentful because of how fucking weak you make them feel, but they're also smitten and adore you so fucking much they can't help but be gentle with you - be sweet to you. tell you how pretty your little cunt is, how soft she feels inside, how good you're going to make them feel when they push inside.

they shouldn't feel as satisfied as they do when you clench around them, coming first for them with their fingers and their words, clinging to them and hiding your face in their neck. they love it though, love being the first to overwhelm your senses, to touch you where you're wet and wanting and make you see stars up close. it makes them feel like a fucking god. it also makes them so achingly protective of you, seeing you so vulnerable and teary eyed in their arms, so delicate nd easy to shatter.

they have to beg you, "tell me to stop," when they slide on top of you, lips brushing against yours because they're afraid of how deep they're going to fall if you let them have this, have you. "i need you - to tell me if you don't want this -"

but you just wrap your legs around them, hooking your ankles to their lower back and pressing them close - close enough that their cock slides through the slick mess of your cunt, head catching and notching at your hole - you gasp but you dont tell them to stop, fuck you, you're just egging them on, cupping their cheeks and looking up at them like they're everything to you.

"please dont stop. i - i want this. i want you,"

"fuck -" and because they must hate themselves, "look at me. don't fucking look away."

because why not just ruin themselves completely, when they slide inside you and have to see the way your eyes widen and the way your face scrunched at being filled and the way your mouth falls open all in close detail with their forehead pressed against yours, not letting you turn away.

"oh god," they dont know who say it. you're gasping, and they're moaning, and your lips are sharing the same air as they rock in and out.

"you feel so fucking good, baby, fuck." that is them, praise spilling from their lips because the warm heaven wrapped around their dick - squeezing, milking, hugging - just pulls everything out in the open. "i love being inside you - holy shit. just keep squeezin' me like that."

they love you.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

I will also talk about Tyler because he's also not normal about stuff 🫠

Right from the start you get these signs he's protective to a detrimental level lol

(BTW Aidlyn scene cuz I'm not normal about them ❤️ The way he literally wraps his whole body in front of her sent me lmao. Mans got his leg around her and everything 🤡)

He's pretty much like this with Taylor in all their scenes. In the Sorrel House he puts his arm in front of her when they see the phantom (that he does not think is real, considering his reaction).

He also has a tendency to drag Taylor away from situations with out asking for her opinion on it 🫠 He just kinda assumes she will want to go with him. Like when he drags her out of the house after saying the phantom was just a prank.

Sir. PLEASE. Kinda possessive of you-

I don't think Red did this on purpose because like. She hasnt really brought up their culture/heritage or anything in the story so far lmao (I'm crying). But idk like just this behavior reminds me a lot of the guys in my family 🙃 I think Latino boys get kind of socialized to be more aggressive and protective of their families at their own expense. He definitely seems like the kind of brother to impose a curfew- He has control issues like. We all see it right? He's a control freak.

Obviously his dad dying has a lot to do with this. His mother took it extremely hard, so then Tyler "stepped up" to take care of both his mom AND his sister, he's been parentified since a very young age (he doesn't look older than 10 imo). I think he feels a need to "be the man of the house" so to speak. He genuinely does not seem to have any hard feelings towards his mom even tho she...you know, fucked up. if any of you know the "latino boys are mama boys" cliche, but.

yeah.

(I do think Taylor has more mom issues because she kinda resents how Tyler has been parentified and she's allowed herself to be angry at their mom for leaving them to fend for themselves)

Sidenote: It looks like his family is very isolated. Like, its strange that nobody came to help Marianna after Ethan died. This isn't always the case but usually Latinos have large families (my mom's family had to push together eight beds so all the cousins could sleep in one room lol) WHICH probably means Tyler's branch of the family is, so far, the first and only to have immigrated to the US. He's probably already a second or third generation tho, his mom has only one surname and he and his sister never seem to speak Spanish, so I don't think they learned it (probably some basics). I don't imagine they've ever been to Mexico except MAYBE when they were very young (its kinda rare to visit...since...it's so hard to get out of there in the first place...🫠 I dont think my parents have been to Venezuela in more than 20 years...but also Venezuela is in way worse condition, so...)

But yeah like. His protectiveness of Taylor is something that actively works against her and something she dislikes. She always looks upset when he drags her out of a situation or tells her what to do. She just wants to help :(

BABYYYYY 🥲

Ofc she never says anything because for most of her life Tyler has put himself in a position of authority and is her caretaker. It's hard to speak up to somebody when they constantly say "I'm doing this for your own good, for your own safety, for-" Whatever. Taylor always believes Tyler does everything for her own best interests, so... even when she doesn't feel good about something, she'll still listen to him. It's a veryyyyyy slippery slope that can quickly become toxic, if it isn't already. Because besides being her brother, he's put himself as her parent figure as well.

He does the thing. You know. Where parentified kids try to overcorrect so they kind of coddle their own children and don't let them do anything because they're scared to death something is gonna happen to them 💀

I don't really know what the point of this was I just wanted to talk about how possessive Tyler can be and how unhealthy his attachment style is 😭 If I write Tyler and Logan angst tho just know it's gonna involve Tyler being overprotective and Logan being Not Cool TM about it 🫠

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Delta anon here and I've got more headcanons, this time based around Delta/Beta's ADHD.

So since they have ADHD (I'd imagine that Sans would have the inattentive type and Beta would have the hyperactuve type, causing Delta to have the combo), they are insanely good at reading people (this is also because of their combined trauma but we don't gotta worry about that right now). Literally first meeting with someone and they've already figured out the person's intentions. And if the person angers them? Then they'd better be prepared to get the biggest, most brutal callout of their lives. This applies to everyone.

Another thing I'd imagine that affects them is the processing time and memory issues that come with ADHD (excuse me while I project here). Their reaction time is incredibly quick because that's what they've trained themselves to do, but their processing time for literally anything else is so SLOW. And because of this, they both have memory issues (they have it reguardless of ADHD, but the ADHD definetly amplifies it).

They have good enough memory to remember basic and important things, but some things slip their minds. Take birthdays, for example. They will know what your birthday is and if it's coming up. But will totally forget the day of because in their mind, it's still months or weeks away. Time usually slips away from their memory. He also forgets his age sometimes. It will surprise them every time.

However, they're forgetful enough with time that it will always surprise them. They will wonder why they feel sick, and then realize they haven't eaten all day. But since when was it the next day already? When did the day even start? This is why the Epic Sanses all have alarms to remind themselves and each other to take breaks, eat, and drink.

Speaking of eating. Do NOT let these motherfuckers cook. And I mean that literally. They get distracted incredibly easy, and will 100% forget they left the oven on. When they remember to focus on cooking, then they're very good at it. But on the days where they're incredibly distracted? Don't let their asses in the kitchen unless it's to get a snack or make coffee.

Again speaking of eating, if they are presented with a new food, they will at the very least try it, no matter how it looks or smells. But if they dont like it, you're never gonna get them to take a second bite. They will most likely never eat that food again. (However, they will be polite about it. They won't be an ass unless they know you personally enough to know that they can be.)

Another thing is, they are both incredibly good at masking their emotions. Beta is used to it from the abuse he suffered, but it takes Delta a lot longer to fully master, since he usually acts out on his emotions. But now that they've mastered it, they are capable at displaying a totally different emotion than how they actually feel. They can also mask the glow at will, but the burn from hiding it hurts them immensely. Once they get to a safe space for them to lash out with no one around, they do.

When they get overstimulated, they either shut down or have to restrain themselves from getting violent. It depends on what is bothering them, but usually it's one or the other. They will immediately begin searching for the nearest 'out' so they don't get too angry and accidentally hurt anyone.

Along with that, they have no filter. Zero. If they want to say something, they will say it and not think twice - until it's too late. Which is why the method of Color or Epic whacking them in some way to correct them was implemented.

I also think that they might have heightened empathy. Not to the extent of Color's, but enough that they'd put everyone before themselves, even people they don't like at times. Because of this, they don't handle grief well.

Executive dysfunction hits them like a bitch. Every time.

Hyperfixations. Oh boy. They definitely have those. (Maybe a few too many.) Beta, being what I'd assume to be the hyperactive type, most likely fixates on anything that makes him happy or gives him a sense of safety/security. This also goes for ideas. Delta is greatly influenced by these things, but also has hyperfixations of his own, such as his workshop and engineering things.

(They share the same hyperfixation of wanting to always be there for people and protect them, no matter who or what it's from. Hyperfixations can last years, and theirs definitely did, and will probably continue. And although it is the main motive for why they do what they do, it is most definitely a hyperfixation.)

They stim. So much. Usually it involves taking something apart and putting it back together (such as a pen), playing with their hands or tapping patterns on something, or getting up and moving around.

Also, all those little details you think they'd miss when interacting with them? Thanks to Beta's hypervigilance, they notice everything. They'll have memorized your talking pattern, some of your interests, and the sound of your footsteps/the way you walk within the first month of knowing them.

They LOVE strategy games. Absolutely love them. Unfortunately, they take them too seriously sometimes (they are banned from UNO, Sorry, and Monopoly).

They have mild sensory issues that can heighten if they're overstimulated. Usually it revolves around touch and noise, which is why they like to stay in familiar environments with people they know well. It's also is why they often don't get new clothes, both because they don't like shopping and because it can be much too loud for them sometimes, especially if they get caught off guard by the feel of something (ex; something looked soft, and they touch it, and it turns out to be scratchy, and they will LOSE it).

They are so friendly. Like really friendly. They definitely have a RBF, and are obviously intimidating, but if someone manages to get past that and approach them for whatever reason, they will be friendly at first as long as the other person isn't trying to start a fight. This goes for everyone except people they dislike. In spite of this, they don't have many friends, but definitely have TONS of acquaintances.

They are so dramatic. They are incredibly sassy, but know how to make it funny rather than annoying. They get away with a lot of things due to this. But Beta is definetly the most dramatic.

Their main thought process when doing something crazy, stupid, or chaotic is basically; 'hey, wouldn't this be so fucking funny??' And sometimes, they're right.

There are specific textures and sounds that they love. Smooth, soft textures? Love it. Anything they wear must be soft to some extent. Background noise? Literally cannot work without it. If they're in the workshop, some sort of background noise must be on at all times.

Anyways, that's all I got. Thoughts?

My thoughts are that this is honestly so relatable it’s scary. I can see both myself and my entire immediate family in these two goobers wtf.

Anyway, I love the idea of protecting and saving people becoming a hyperfixation its very cool to me.

And I also fuck with the idea that have tons of acquaintances but very few friends, probably in large part because people find them a little intimidating and then once someone sticks around long enough to get past that, they find them “too friendly” or “too much.”

Which is why I think they hold Color and Epic very closely to them because they were Delta’s first friends since he lost in his home and went to the Omega Timeline, and probably is an even bigger reason why Color and Epic’s equally close but no less somehow different relationships with Killer and Cross probably make them feel a little scared and perhaps worried about being left or about them being hurt.

Which would likely play into that protecting/saving fixation a lot more.

And also their anger problems. I’d imagine that’s something they often feel around Killer when Killer is still going through his “socialization” period lmao. There’s probably many a time where they just had to straight up leave a room Killer was in or else they’d probably do something they might regret later, and would hurt Color. Everyday they’re grateful that at least Cross isn’t this difficult to deal with.

But also if they try everything at least once, id like to imagine that if they and Killer get on better terms and Killer is starting to get back into the swing of things like cooking or using stoves and stuff, that they function as like his taste tester. Once they manage to trust that Killer hasn’t tampered with the food somehow, of course. (although I wouldn’t really trust these two adhd dissociative fuckers alone together in a kitchen with a stove something will go wrong somehow lmao)

And if they both love strategy games maybe that’s something they can bond with Killer on and possibly Cross. I do think Killer and Nightmare used to play chess sometimes, a little headcanon I have. Maybe he can engage in the nostalgia a bit without having to worry about upsetting Color by talking about Nightmare (Color is just rightfully pissed and hates Nightmare, he doesn’t have an issue with Killer talking about him or his feelings about his captivity and treatment by Nightmare ofc)

[awigglycultist]

VHS Christmas Carols first watch thoughts!

Omg the opening number is such a bop

JAMES DOING THE GRIDDY OMG

I loved the "it's time... Pennies" lines

I love Janaya

Jim and Della are great

The songs are SO 80s sounding, it's so great, especially my hair/my watch, and they've all been great so far

OOOHH THE MOMENT WHERE SHE RUSHED DOWN THE STREET AND SELLS HER HAIR IS SO GOOD ALSO SCROOGE?

This song is WILD

"you're more beautiful than ever" AHHH AWW

DONT CRY NO

Omg Jim not wanting to say he gave the watch away yet and just wanting to be close to Della

AUGH

"because if just a thought can count why not just tell them how it was thought about" AHSHDKSKS

OMG JIM PUTTING THE WATCH CHAIN AROUND HER NECK LIKE A NECKLACE AND DELLA PUTTING A A COMB INTO HIS HAIR AHH

Omg Joey's, Lauren's and Brian's voices/accents in this

BRIAN MOUTHING "WHAT THE" AJSJDBSOS

Lauren's face when the match girls tries to get her to buy a match lmao

Btw the lighting in this show is beautiful

Poor little match girl just someone buy a match!

Scrooge again??

Oh boy here come the magi again

Matchstick Magic is so good

Oh boy the grandma this is where things start getting sad

Yup she's dead now

Oh Clark talking about turning a blind eye to ppl oh boy oh jeez

OMG WAIT THIS SONG TRANSITIONING TO HOW THE NEXT STORY IS ABOUT SCROOGE AND HOW HE LEARNS THAT LESSON

Omg Scrooge blowing the candle out

IT'S TIME

"and he really hates YOU" scared me jdjdjd

Love how they're like actually cowering in fear of him

I enjoying AJ's take of Scrooge and Brian's take of Fred

Bob giving a wave during "here's my man Bob Cratchit"

Scrooge standing on the set above Bob is a great little detail to make him scarier

Oh the way aj sings "theres something I need to sayyyy! Bah humbug! BAH HUMBUG!" scratches my brain

"Scrooge gives a shriek" "AH" JASKAKSISN

I love hurt how confused and scared looking Scrooge is

Ugh marelt forcing Scrooge to sit back down and turn is SO GOOD

AJ'S REACTION TO THE 3 GHOSTS

The ghosts wrapping him in chain omg omg

Oh woah new part to this interlude song

Jaime's voice here omg

Scrooge doing the jump rope too sjdbdb

The slow mo dancing shdhdb

Love Curt's young Scrooge he's such a nerd (I know in about to hate him)

Wait the reverse, pause and fast forward symbols each lighting up depending on if they're in the past, present or future

Ugh That Scrooge is so good

Omg the way Scrooge looks so sad when looking at Belle and then him getting up into young Scrooge's face when yelling at him

Omg the way he gets so quite on "you don't know what you've lost"

I know he's jdut on the floor bc he's in bed but at first it just looks likes he's contemplating life sjfbfjd

XMAS NOW OUR BOY

"maybe you're a greedy dick" "that one" djdjdn

Present PUSHING Scrooge and then making him dance!!

Go off Scrooge! Dance!!

Scrooge and Present dancing together is so fun!!

Plz the little dance in the interlude after Christmas Electricity ndndjdnd

Scrooge copying Present's dance lol

NOT THE HAND HELD MICS LIKE IT'S KARAOKE IT'S REMINDING ME THE ORGINAL AVHSCC DURING 2020

The way Curt shrugs after "Peter!"

THE WAY TIM SEEMS JUST LIMP PRETTY MUCH WITH THE WAY BOB AND THE KIDS ARE CARRYING HIM AROUND

Brian using the care bear as a mic lol

The way James says "harassed" and AJ says "nooo spirit" and James says "BAH HUMBUG" scratches my brain so much!!

OMG BRIAN ACTUALLY HAS BUTTON UP INSTEAD OF JUST THE TINY TIM RACECAR SHIRT

JIM AND DELLA ARE THE ONE IN DEBT OF SCROOGE

I love just how happy they are, they're HYPED

The way AJ says "tenderness" also scratches the brain

AUGH BOB HOLDING THE CAREBEAR THIS PART ALWAYS SAD BUT OUCH

THE WAY SCROOGE GOES UP EVERYONE TRYING TO SAY HE'S CHANGED!!!

Ugh the DESPERATENESS AJ protays!

GET HIS ASS DRAG HIM DOWN INTO THE GRAVE

THE MATCH GIRL THE MATCH GIRL OH MY GODDDDDDD AND HIS LITTLE DANCE WITH HER AND HE'S BUYING A MATCH OMG OH OH THIS IS GETTING TO ME

"SO HAPPY TO HAVE MET YOU" I love how intense Scrooge is

OMG JIM AND DELLA ARE BEIGN FORGIVEN OF THEIR DEBT

THE WATCH HOLY FUCK

SJDJDJDBAJ the glasses dropping onto the ground and AJ trying to find them

GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

[littlespoonevan]

i really want to know your opinion on last night's episode! do you think we finally saw Eddie's oh moment? I see a lot of people talking about it and about his heartbreak but I'm not seeing it? like I see eddie upset about what buck is saying, but that could easily be platonic imo, my best friend saying someone else actually sees them? that would make me feel awful, like I'm here??? I see you??? and i get eddie feels lonely as well, but i dont ser that particularly related to him realizing he's in love w buck, idk idk what are your thoughts?

askjdhlf okay. where do i begin??? i should preface by saying i only got a chance to watch the last 25 mins of the ep like an hour and a half ago bc of how long it took for the ep to upload this morning so i'm still very much processing bUT

that cemetery scene was a lot.

to start by answering your question, i don't think we got an oh moment in the deliberate sense?? by that i mean, i don't think this was the show telling the audience "this is it!!!! this is the moment eddie realises he's in love with buck!!!!!" however i do think that scene did A Lot to suggest something big and buddie-related in the pipeline.

something about the tone of it felt very different to what we've gotten previously???? it's most certainly one of the longest conversations they've ever had at 3 minutes uninterrupted. it's also one of their most serious and touched on a wide range of topics (like it felt almost like a post-ep coda fic conversation to me????? askdjfh) and i think it's interesting that twice now in 6b we've had meaningful conversations between them that don't involve chris being brought up. because that's been something i've always said was maybe missing when it came to the possibility of them becoming canon??? we have so many conversations that emphasise buck/eddie/chris as a family but very few conversations between buck and eddie just about them and their friendship/relationship, y'know??

likewise eddie's reaction to natalia was in very stark contrast to the usual way he sort of snarkily comments on buck's relationships. @mellaithwen made the great catch that it paralleled buck talking about ana in 5x02 and it also reminded me of eddie's reaction to abby??? in the way it was this sort of weary-frustrated-resigned combination where he Knows this won't end well for buck and he's maybe a little bit annoyed at buck's lack of regard for himself (in 3x18 bc he's willing risk his own life for abby to save her fiancé even after she left buck the way she did and now with natalia in a 'how can you say she sees you better when the version of yourself you're showing her isn't you' way)

there's also just the big giant elephant in the room where buck is talking about how natalia sees him when eddie is the one who's always Seen him - all the way back to "to be seen to be found, isn't that what we're all searching for?". eddie is the one who constantly validates buck's feelings, who understands his reasons for the choices he makes, who knows exactly what to say to make buck open up. he even does it in this scene!!!!!! when he says "you don't have to be anything for anyone". it felt like a big fat example of dramatic irony tbh

and i think for me, regardless of what happens on the actual show, when it comes to how i write and approach canon in fic that scene acts as confirmation of my favourite headcanon that eddie knows about his feelings but buck has no fucking idea. and while we may or may not ever get real confirmation of that in canon, i think you can for sure read the scene that way without twisting it into something it's not :')

overall, you know i'm the most cautious person alive when it comes to canon buddie but i do genuinely, genuinely feel something has shifted in this scene even if it's not a definitive oh moment for now💛

[go-to-the-mirror]

howdy, howdy, howdy @a-mag-a-day and co. it's 148 time! That's lovely! :3

also uhm. 7de Laan (South African soap opera) spoilers ahead? apparently?

look idk what to do for a funny intro today

JONATHAN SIMS Rusty Quill presents: The Magnus Archives. Episode one hundred and forty-eight. Extended Surveillance.

For some reason, my brain immediatly went "the French magnus archives" and it would be like uh... cent et quarante-huit (?). I don't know why I wanted to translate it? Also, the most French I've done was like... grade 9 Canadian French which I've promptly forgotten. I don't know why I thought this.

Le Magnus (in a french accent) Archives? Look, I speak Afrikaans, but as someone who's learned it from 7de Laan and yk, just being in a family with one Afrkaaner who sometimes uses Afrikaans slang and words and cannot spell apple, so a lot of the Afrikaans I speak is just english words in an Afrikaans accent. I mean like that's basically what Afrikaans is so-

Y'all should watch 7de Laan, it's really fun. Idk what button they've discovered now, but I remember back when Mariaan killed... Ben I want to say, and they discovered the voice over button. And then there was the Orange is the New Black rip off season, and then I remember when they discovered the really bad greenscreen button and things started happening outside and it looked awful.

No one watches soap operas for the height of cinematography.

ELIAS Good evening, Detec— [Basira punches Elias.] BASIRA Useless, scheming piece of shit. ELIAS Detective, this is quite unnecess— [Basira continues to hurt Elias.] BASIRA I’m sorry, was that unnecessary? [Basira hits Elias once more.] BASIRA (Cont.) Because this is the most helpful you’ve been so far, unless you’ve got another crisis for me?

tbh absolutely deserved. god i love the scenes where elias has an awful time <3 it needs to happen more often.

BASIRA You always call me Detective. Is that supposed to mean something? ELIAS Honestly? I just like the way it sounds.

WHY IS HE LIKABLE? WHY IS THIS FUNNY TO ME? I JUST DONT LIKE BASIRA OR ELIAS AND THEY'RE JUST GIVING EACH OTHER MUTUAL TERRIBLE TIMES

ELIAS Will you? You’re not police anymore. You’ve done them some favours, but they’ve done you some as well, and I think you’ll find that the information that I’ve been giving to them has been far more consistently useful. You want to issue them an ultimatum? Go right ahead. I’m just not sure it’ll go quite how you hope. … And, um, no more violence, Detective, or I may have to call in the guards.

God, I hate how he turns it around, just manages to scrape himself an edge, prick. Like even in episode 200 (my beloved) he tries to get Jon to back down. It doesn't work, of course, but like, there was an attempt, there's always an attempt, I hate how he takes things in stride and always manages to come out on top, I hate that so much. Really hateable villain, he deserves to be drowned in a bucket /ref.

ARCHIVIST Can’t believe you’ve been seeing him all this time. BASIRA Oh yeah, that’s the terrible secret sabotaging the trust between us.

Ok, like, to be fair, talking with Elias did help end the world so...

BASIRA Yeah. John, we’ve been over this. The key is to not force people to feed you their trauma. You know, just don’t do it. ARCHIVIST It’s not that simple. BASIRA No, it is. Or I put you down.

Oh!

Look I was trying to find my original reaction to this, but I didn't talk about it to my partner (ily) or on my story (I believe the next one we're really digging into there is 154, because I was in fucking shambles), but I mean, I don't know exactly what I was feeling but it was probably like... shit.

Shit.

Like, I get Basira's perspective, right, but also you can't just. That's hardly proportionate and yet... isn't it? Gertrude would have done it, Adelard Dekkar would have done it, and when they do that sort of thing to monsters we hardly bat an eye, but... well, it's different, right, we know Jon.

It's like that post, about how the "monsters" were treated differently across the seasons, in season 1, Jane Prentiss is the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss, in season 2... can't really remember, I mean they were seen as more... sentient, but still evil to their very nature. In season 3 we get a separation, Jon isn't like the other monsters, Mike Crew and Jude Perry were bad people, even though they were people. And then in season 4... well, come Scrutiny, we've realized that oh fuck, there is no separation, and we can view all the monsters as irredeemable and bad but... Jon's not irredeemable, he tries. So, what about all those other monsters. And in 152 we get it, how different is Jon from Jane Prentiss? Not really different at all. The season 5 comes along and none of the characters we're following are on the watched/human/victim side of the line, and the line wasn't really real back then.

Podded cast <3

ARCHIVIST (Mutters) I mean, that’s hardly… BASIRA Daisy’s been managing. ARCHIVIST Daisy is… Yeah, she’s managing.

Wow, why's Daisy managing better than Jon, it's not like she has the support of Basira, Jon, and presumably Daisy to help her, no it's just that she's fundamentally better /s.

Like, you can't expect someone to change for the better if you're only getting angry at them, if you treat someone like a monster, like they're going to fuck up all the time, then they're going to fuck up all the time.

ARCHIVIST Haven’t really been trying. Doing that sort of thing consciously … makes me hungry. BASIRA Oh, well then, find a statement to your tastes and read it. ARCHIVIST Yes, yes, I know. Thank you.

I had a little conversation with Japleeejay a while back so I'm just gonna put that here, inc his reactions in brackets because they're funny.

Also, I'm thinking about jon tma (🤯) And yk about my interpretation of his character which is the only correct one /hj (💙) And about how it's like his self esteem is shit, but that's when he's alone right? He's going to stand up for himself when other people are talking shit about him, but he's also going to internalize it and ruminate on it when he's alone? (‼️) Like uhh. He's obviously really guilty about what he's doing to his victims, but when they confront him about it, and in MAG 141 and MAG 148, he's defensive about it It's like it's not a binary thing right And if I may just like bring myself into it for a second because half of my jon thoughts are actual analysis and the other half is projection But like uhh the whole thing i had going on with the adhd, like I was fiercely proud of being adhd, and like i'd get angry at people for being ableist and stuff, but i also sort of... believed them? it's like, you can have contradictory feelings and emotions (‼️) And it's like it's different if you're saying it to yourself and someone [is] saying it to you? Like at least my immediate reaction to someone getting angry at me whether justified or not is to get angry back, and then yk i calm down and either don't think they're right or do, right? And it's like, Jon gets angry when people get angry at him, he gets defensive, and then he dwells on it a lot, right? Basicallly Um - Fanfic authors are doing it wrong i'm the only one doing it right - he's not. he's not like. yeah sometimes sure he's like that. he'll take it lying down sometimes - ^ especially when helen's saying something to him because she knows how to get under their skin - but like it's not a constant thing - hhhh idk how to describe it (💙)

(27 January, 2023)

ARCHIVIST I've been meaning to ask. The tape, the one of the, uh… my victim. You said Martin gave it to you? BASIRA Yeah. ARCHIVIST How was he? H-how did he look? Was he, uh…? BASIRA I don’t know. I didn’t see him. He just left it on my desk with a note. ARCHIVIST Oh, right. BASIRA Yeah. ARCHIVIST Can I ask what it said? BASIRA Um, yeah. It said, “Talk to him.” (The Archivist laughs bitterly.)

GOD THE PINING JUST GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND MAKE OUT FOR CHRISTS SAKE HHHH

I can't take this, I can't take 12 more episodes of this I can't.

Statement of Sunil Maraj, regarding their work as a security guard and the disappearance of their co-worker Samson Stiller.

OH YAY! They use he/they, that's lovely! I think I may have pointed this out a while back.

Someone had even put their name in the front, like they were afraid people were going to steal their manky instruction book.

Oh No

tbh i dont think i really paid attention much on my first listen but just like-

Oh No. it's a leitner.

Cos I saw some of the pages over his shoulder, and on one of them, there was … There was a picture of me, like a black and white photo of my face.

OH SPOOKY!

It was one of the old CRT sets, big and bulky, and the picture on it was never that clear, but for a moment, it looked like it was me on there, staring right back at myself as the screens slowly went black, getting closer and closer. The face on the monitor looked absolutely terrified, and I was starting to feel it myself. So, I just tried to smile, told him not to worry about it, and I headed out as quick as I could. My legs were shaking so hard I almost fell on the way out.

Don't know what to say just... spooky.

One time, when no-one in the store was looking, I threw a can of deodorant at one of them, hit it square on. Samson wore sunglasses for the next two days, and when I caught a glimpse of him without them, there was a crack, right down the centre of his eye.

Ohhh that's such a cool image also so spooky!!

I wanted to know why Samson hadn’t signed out of the building before he disappeared, why no matter who tried to reset the system, it always logged back in as him. Or why, whenever I was watching the monitors alone, I’d see him on that old CRT screen, staring right back at me, quietly calling for me to join him.

OH WOW THAT'S-

wow

Does reading a statement of the Ceaseless Watcher count as a sort of auto-cannibalism, I wonder?

He's started calling in the Ceaseless Watcher, not The Eye anymore.

Hmm. Feels more... reverential? In a way? I dunno. Need to compile a list of what people call the fears. I know Jon used to call it The Eye or The Beholding, I thought he switched to calling it the Ceaseless Watcher in season 4, but apparently not.

I honestly don’t care if Mr Maraj was chased down and consumed by his voyeuristic former friend, or if he has forgotten the whole affair, living in blissful ignorance. I just find my mind already wandering to the next statement, and the hopes that it won’t be quite as stale.

Is that a turning point? It feels like a turning point, but then again it just feels like he's already crossed that line, and there was no turning point, just an unstoppable march forwards.

Hm.

[weathernerdmando]

I told my dad recently that I was looking to get evaluated for ehlers danlos because it would explain a lot and his reaction at first wasn't the best (it's honestly a little fucked up what he said but i saw where he got it and he did basically apologize for implying it) but once I actually got to explain why he seemed to get it. At first he was like "why do you want to get all these labels and to stand out and like I sort of get the perspective but now that I am actually chronically ill I just want to be healthy" and like I get it, I do, but I think what he didn't understand is I don't want to "stand out".

The problem lies in that I already do. The autism and ADHD alone already make me "unique" or whatever enough. It's not that I want. Its not that I want to be sick, I dont.

I just...i already am, or at least, have things wrong with me that haven't had answers so far for my entire life.

It's that I don't want to be alone. It's that I want to find other people who share similar issues who I can finally say "there's an answer to these random, seemingly unconnected, pain in the ass issues and other people understand it finally".

It's knowing I've always been medically complex and that apparently just kinda got forgotten/ignored because I thought most of it was normal because I didn't really know much else and once things were initially "dealt with" we kinda just moved on and if we needed to make accomodations we did but we just slid them between everything else and it was like they were always there before.

I know I've always been medically complex, but I didn't know that I wasn't the only one dealing with these issues and maybe some of it *is* fetal alcohol related but I don't see those things in me much at all, and even if it is a factor it doesn't explain the things I'm looking for answers for.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis for the hell of it. It's not for another label to slap on, it's not another "fun little trivia piece" or whatever you want to call it.

It's getting answers and ways to deal so things cause me less pain and I can stop being exhausted 90% of the time and maybe only be tired to exhausted 70% (50% is optimistic I think, lol). It's maybe maybe maybe finding out why no matter what I do, how much more I eat, how much I try to remember to eat, why i cant gain weight, why I can't get the body signals that signify hunger like I should be, it's maybe getting a path forward to a healthy weight for the first time in my life. I've never hit 3 digits and I *should* be and it's not intentional at all, I try and try and try but I simply can't and getting some reasoning as to why?? And maybe finding ways to get there?? That's what I want.

It's finding another person who's ribs move like mine in a way they really shouldn't and the relief in knowing "this person has an Official this is something wrong diagnosis and they share this trait with me and I finally have confirmation that this *should* concern me a little" but that there is also an explanation for it too.

I just want to be able to do things, accomodations or otherwise, somewhat normally for once. I'm used to accomodations, they've already been present in some way throughout my entire life. I wanted to be normal for a long, long time and I'm never going to be. I know I'm not like most people. I know that.

I don't want to be normal. I'm not ever going to be. What I want is to find other not normal people like me who I can say "this is happening and it hurts" and get a "yeah, same, you're not alone" response from or maybe "Here's things that have helped me, maybe talk to your doctor about them" and "Yeah, no, you're not overreacting to that being painful or weird or whatever, that's not something you should be able to do".

I'm not looking to stand out but to some extent, blend in and have a chance to finally just rest for a second or two.

I told him some of this, summarized really, and he kinda sat for a second, and I think understood what I was saying. And he said "I'm sorry you've been dealing with all this and I didn't realize."

So I think he understood why, in the end, but still. It's nice to lay it all out in the end anyways.

[noxiatoxia]

heres an anon ask you can use to write/talk more about kaoru getting hurt and hikaru freaking out bc i love any content that has them freak out about the other hurting

OMG SPINS YOU AROUND IN MY ARMS THANK YOU ANON <3 !!

Ok WELL. I have. lots and lots of thoughts. So i did say before I like it best when Kaoru is the one who is injured because.....well ok admittedly I like fucking with Kaoru but ALSO I really love writing Hikaru's reactions. He's always so emotional and overreactive at times. It's fun illustrating the pure panic he's thrust into even in situations where Kaoru really isn't in any huge danger. I'm just. a sucker for characters absolutely flipping out at the smallest sign that somebody they love is hurt.

I've talked b4 about a concept where Kaoru gets a painful but non-lethal or life-altering injury, nothing drastic, but..........ok let me be cringe.....i wanna talk about the potentially darker stuff.

Tw for like, a lot of whump tropes. kidnapping, murder, etc.

Okay. I'm gonna jump into it with an idea involving kidnapping.

This is actually really interesting to me in the Ouran universe, because unlike some series, there's...actually a lot of legit reasons as to why you'd try to kidnap a number of these characters. iirc (dont quote me on it tho) it even almost happened in the manga to kyoya?? from what i've heard. again don't quote me.

SO being rich heirs to a big name company, trying to kidnap one or both the twins? It's actually a really plausible thing to happen.

I think the twins get off lucky in some aspects. Namely, they're identical. In some cases, I could see them not caring which twin they got, but maybe they want Hikaru the most since he's the eldest (and therefore the inheritor) but...which one is hikaru?? and besides, they're always together, meaning you'd HAVE to deal with 2 people. kidnapping two people is a lost of hassle. I think they've avoided it this long on those facts, among just good security and whatnot.

But let's say, one day, they aren't so lucky. dunno if this would happen when they're younger, like middle school, so they're not nearly as strong as they could be. Or it does happen in high school. whichever u want to imagine i suppose.

It could happen in a LOT of ways. maybe they got into a scuffle with some guys and they only got Kaoru. Maybe out of fear kaoru lied and said he was hikaru so they wouldn't go after his brother. maybe they just didn't care and got the first twin they saw.

I can imagine, if both twins were present, they would fight hard. they aren't trained in any way, and with no guards or police to help, they're helplessly overpowered, but they fight like their life depends on it (because for all they know it DOES) and they manage to put up a good struggle.

Maybe they DO end up getting away. Obviously they don't win the fight, but they manage to put enough distance between themselves and their kidnappers that they can run as fast as they can and as far as they can. they end up hiding somewhere so nobody can find them as they catch their breath. They're terrified out of their minds and are huddling together, breathing shakily. they both have some cuts and bruises. they wait until they think it's safe enough to call for help.

But what if Kaoru was seriously injured during the altercation? They still get away, but Kaoru is really struggling to keep up with Hikaru. he's limping terribly because the prick stabbed him in his side and he's bleeding everywhere, but pure adrenaline is making him sprint. Once they hide, Kaoru collapses and as the adrenaline fades THAT'S when it becomes an issue. The pain readily becomes apparent to him and it hurts so bad he can't really move. Blood is getting everywhere and he's breathing really fast, probably because he's so scared.

Hikaru is in a full blown PANIC. he's trying so hard to calm kaoru down, telling him to keep his eyes open, it'll be okay, he's calling an ambulance. He pulls his own shirt or jacket off to press to Kaoru's wound to try and stop the bleeding, but it just soaks through.

The shock and adrenaline wearing off might make Kaoru begin to cry a little as the barricaded emotions and pain coming surging through. this obviously only scares hikaru more.

it'd be fucking worse though if the kidnappers succeeded. in getting kaoru, that is. Oh my god. Especially if they injured him. his brother is bleeding and screaming and these people have him and hikaru can't catch up. he'd feel SO guilty and responsible, even if he physically couldn't do anything bc they injured him too. they like, fucking stabbed him or shot him and he can't move but fuck they have kaoru!! why isn't he doing anything!?

he'd spend all day and night and the days after looking for kaoru, not resting until he gets his little brother back.

It'd be hell on them both. Kaoru is scared and alone and in pain. Hikaru is freaking out and snapping at everyone, yelling at them to do better, find kaoru faster because it'll be YOUR faults if he dies or if something bad happens to him. He's just really, really scared and under so much stress. He doesn't sleep, at least not well, until Kaoru is found. When they rescue Kaoru one way or another, Hikaru is holding him so, so tightly and that's when he finally allows himself to cry, because he was SO fucking scared and this whole thing was a living nightmare and he's so unbelievably ungodly happy to have kaoru back in his arms alive and safe. He doesn't let go of him for hours and snaps at anybody who gets near them. I think it's soothing for Kaoru, too. After the trauma of what just happened, being alone with Hikaru in his embrace makes him feel less lonely and vulnerable.

Don't get me fuckin started if they BOTH were kidnapped though. I think the kidnappers, if they were smart, would figure out very early on they could get them both to comply by threatening Kaoru. Kaoru is already more compliant than Hikaru; he knows when he should and shouldn't fight back. But hikaru isn't. he'll fight these bastards, give them a hard time, do everything to try and break free. Where ever they're being held, Hikaru is causing them so much trouble, and even when they threaten to hurt him, even when they do hurt him, he doesn't really stop. Not for long, at least.

They'd probably find that if they threaten Kaoru, that gets Hikaru to shut up quickly. They threaten to slice Kaoru's throat if Hikaru refuses an order of theirs, has a knife to his throat. Suddenly, Hikaru is begging them not to hurt Kaoru, saying he'll do anything they want.

You can imagine like, any dark or fucked up scenario you want. But basically, I really DO think Hikaru would endure literally anything for Kaoru. As long as they don't hurt Kaoru, Hikaru would take anything and everything they throw at him. Kaoru hates it. He feels so fucking guilty that these awful things are happening and it's because Hikaru doesn't want him getting hurt.

Realistically, you could say most kidnappers wouldn't try to hurt them. They want hostages because they want money, and these kids have lots of money. Hurting them is a last resort reserved for making them comply. I guess it depends if the kidnappers are after something else/get some sort of sick enjoyment out of hurting them, or seeing Hikaru panic when they threaten his brother.

RELATED idea......murder attempts.

again, while I think kidnapping is a more realistic scenario given the Hitachiin's wealth, assassination is also plausible for several similar reasons. It could also just be a case of unfortunate luck having a run in with some less than well meaning person.

But like...Kaoru getting attacked by someone. Their attempt is lethal. They caught him off guard so they have the upper hand, and they're probably using a weapon like a knife to injure him.

Hikaru is never too far away from Kaoru at a given moment, and so he luckily wasn't very far when he hears his brother cry out. And when he sees what's happening, hears the screaming, the attacker's threats, the blood....he goes fucking. ballistic.

It's not like he's even thinking, he just ACTS. It's all a blur as he takes the attacker by surprise and dislodges the knife from their hand. the thing is, if Kaoru doesn't cry out to stop him, if the attacker doesnt just run away, there is a good chance Hikaru actually takes that knife and kills the person himself. He doesn't really think about it. he's high off adrenaline and seeing red from seeing somebody trying to kill his little brother. He's not fucking thinking, just acting on pure instinct. And instinct is telling him he needs to protect Kaoru at any cost necessary. And without hesitation, that includes stabbing a knife into somebody's throat.

He's in a bad daze as the attacker collapses and he focuses on Kaoru, who's also on the floor or at least crouched/keeled over, bleeding and in awful pain. There's blood all over Hikaru's hands and probably his shirt but he doesn't think about it as he crouches down to pull kaoru into his arms. i don't think either of them think to call the police. hikaru's mind is pure static focused only on kaoru. he's not even saying anything. the fact he killed another person hasn't even set in yet, he's just protectively shielding his brother and plugging his wounds with his hands, breath trembling. kaoru's breath is also trembling and he has tears in his eyes but he isn't saying anything. he's shaking. i honestly think police only show up because somebody else saw/heard what happened and called them, and once they show up and confront the twins, kaoru nearly passed out and hikaru pretty much dissociated, does hikaru wake up from his daze and realize what just happened, and oh my god i just killed another person.

i think in this case unlike others, he'd instantly let medics see kaoru. usually he doesn't want anyone near kaoru. not even medics. but he realizes as he snaps out of it just how bad of shape kaoru is in, and he feels awful he didn't call and ambulance and instead spaced out as he squeezed his brother to his chest as he bled everywhere. im sure hikaru also gets into some trouble for the killing thing but tbh good money + circumstances im sure he's let off the hook. that certainly does NOT take away from the trauma though because something like that fucks you up for life, and im sure his hands probably shake really badly anytime he has to hold a knife now.

(^^ that could be a whole story in an of itself... i love trauma recovery <3 both twins would be so fucked up after that experience. should write it sometime)

OKAY ON THE LIGHTER END OF THINGS.... (well, somewhat) just. accidents and other major injuries. Nobody is trying to hurt anybody else, it just sort of happened.

I actually had this idea in my head once in relation to my Kaoru Has Depression thread which i sorta forgot about bc i never posted it on there bc it seemed rather dark/edgy even for that thread and tbh idk if it's in-character(??) but with tweaking i think it could work.

the set up doesnt really matter tbh, but in my head the reason this happens is because Kaoru's been very in and out of it lately. second year of high school and he's dealing with reeeeally bad depression (cuz. i hc he has severe diagnosed depression somebody fucking tell that guy to see a doctor already) and with this comes him being unfocused and generally dissociating a lot. Anyways, it sort of happens at the worst possible time. Kaoru blanks out and is just on auto-pilot and is talking walks. He does this routinely now to clear his head, and he always goes without Hikaru because unfortunately Hikaru is the cause (indirectly) of his stress in more areas than one. so he's alone not really present and just walking wherever his feet take him.

Multiple things could happen here, really. And i have 2. the first one is, well, getting involved in a traffic accident.

i mean if you're wandering around not paying attention to your surroundings and suddenly just step onto a roadway or passage and you aren't aware of that, yeah it's likely a car is gonna hit you.

now i think thankfully kaoru is in a somewhat residential area wherever he's walking aka the speed limit is 25 which isn't good to be struck at but it's not like. 55. so anyways that fucking hurts. it knocks him right out of his depression-induced daze as he's flung across the road either into a patch of grass or onto the curb (if ur Evil) and everything Fucking Hurts. it probably breaks his leg or something, maybe something worse, maybe there's blood. internal bleeding for sure but idk if there would be many outward signs.

the person who hit him is probably panicking like oh fuck are you okay im calling an ambulance right now. and kaoru is still a little dazed, having been snapped from his dissociating to now being in excruciating pain and he can't feel his leg. his hands are shaking horribly but he manages to get his mostly undamaged phone out of his pocket and call hikaru and it's probably really awkward because kaoru is unusually calm because the whole thing hasn't really washed over him yet.

"Hey, Kaoru!" "Hey, Hikaru. Um, just to let you know, I'm not gonna be home when I said I was" "?? Why?" "Oh well, I got hit by a car. I'm probably going to a hospital." "WHAT"

ofc hikaru RUSHES to the hospital to see kaoru only to have to wait a few hours bc they have to make sure kaoru is okay. operations and shit. Kaoru is still pretty out of it even when Hikaru is by his bed-side near tears and Kaoru can't even really understand why... (mental illness)

ok a 2nd idea I had........this one is weirder bear with me.

i like. tropes where characters are Stuck somewhere and have to Survive with it. esp in unfavorable conditions. so, related to what i said earlier: kaoru going for a walk and not paying attention, except this time he's in the woods bc nature pretty or smth. not looking, he takes a wrong step and falls down a small cliff/steep hill, and then he lands...wrong. like, injures his back. and he can't get back up.

plus, his phone either broke on the tumble down or it's dead, so he's just kind of. well. fucked.

i like scenarios like this cuz it's like. the fear and the feeling of powerlessness, the utter loneliness and idea of dying alone. especially for kaoru, that's really scary. it's the one thing he's terrified of most. and since he can't move, he just has to hope somebody finds him. that they care enough to look for him.

maybe he gets lucky and somebody - friend or stranger - finds him relatively quickly, like in a few hours. maybe he's not so lucky, and he's stuck there for over two days.

obviously, i like Maximum Evilness but also I think it could potentially be. interesting? Kaoru is already so mentally unstable. He's already horrifically lonely and depressed. Being forced to be stuck in the dirty creepy woods for days on end, alone? I can only really imagine the things he might think up, what conclusions or feelings he'd reach. Especially as he grows hungrier/dehydration, that would cause major issues not just bodily, but psychologically. Hallucinations/psychosis, generally just. making his depression/anxiety worse. He's a bit of a hysterical mess there wondering if he's being left to die on purpose because nobody fucking cares about him. He wonders if he can even blame them.

I like to think it's Haruhi who finds him, actually. the whole host club are searching with the ootori private police and regular police. haruhi elected to search the woods but surprisingly, hikaru (who has been worried SICK this whole time) tries to shoot it down. they're all under the assumption kaoru was kidnapped, it makes the most sense, and what kidnapper is hiding out in the woods? but tamaki convinces hikaru to give it a shot and so he lets haruhi go.

it's probably a fucking miracle she finds him in time or finds him at all. Kaoru probably freaks out at first thinking it's a stranger or somebody here to hurt him but when he sees haruhi he's insanely glad. he just wants to go home where it's warm and there's food and his brother will be waiting for him.

obviously though, again, experiences like that are pretty traumatizing. hikaru feels like shit for almost preventing haruhi from finding his brother, bc had she not done that he probably would have died. and so he does NOT leave kaoru's side and hovers over him like 24/7.

in general...i just like prompts where kaoru gets hurt, and hikaru proceeds to go fucking feral. wail on the person hurting kaoru, or if there is no perp, just hold kaoru and shield him from any harm and going ape shit if anyone tries to get near them. i think fast-paced traumatic experiences like that really freak hikaru out esp in the moment, seeing kaoru get hurt so fast, the fact he could have almost died. it fills him with adrenaline and fear and so he snaps at anybody because he's so freaked out and he just wants to be alone with kaoru where it's slow and safe. kaoru is in his arms, nothing is happening, everything is fine and sitting still and he's alright. and anything that disrupts that sends him into a frenzy.

so...sorry about going Off about this. i think i derailed the point a few times BUT you asked for rambles you get rambles <33 if you have any dark hikaru&kaoru ideas or just stuff abt them in general ...... always feel free to send. or prompt me onto another ramble.

[calamitydaze]

I agree that there was no grooming, but I kinda feel like some people used that word because there isnt really a term for something thats ,,kinda" between normal chatting and grooming (I dont mean literally between, I know that its more complicated than that but I hope you get what I mean) You dont have believe anything the victim to know that Dream did the between thing, because he himself said in the twitlonger that he believes the dms are real. This is not a direct attack, but I feel like people who are neutral about this dont want to accept that he crossed a line, there is such an power imbalance, regardless of the age (without the celebrity context the age gap wouldnt matter in my opinion), there is no reason to give fans your private snapchat to let them send you snaps (they dont have to be sexual to be weird), and what me really uncomfortable; why is he being so vague about it

i think i get what you're saying about it being in between and that makes sense, but i disagree with your assessment that that's why people are using it. i think people saw the first accusation using that incorrect definition and just didn't look any deeper, and at this point the people who still haven't gone "actually that's wrong it's not grooming" are either willfully ignorant so they can continue to push a certain agenda or they're surrounded by people who Are willfully ignorant. (maybe i'm wrong, but that's the impression i've gotten) and if you're right (which you totally could be) and that's why people use(d) it, i still think that's the wrong thing to do because grooming is a serious serious term, not a synonym for inappropriate

and like i said in a previous ask (<- i feel like that sounds passive aggressive but it's not meant to be), i definitely agree that some people hide behind the word "neutral" when really they've already decided that dream did nothing wrong. i don't think that's true for the majority of neutral people, but i could be biased by the circles i run in, so i'll just speak for myself. i absolutely do think he crossed a line-- while imo the power imbalance argument isn't super relevant here (it exists, but from what we know he never asserted or exploited that power in any way), extended private communication with fans via snapchat isn't something that should happen. i disagree that there's no reason for it (it fits what we know of dream to say he wanted to be able to interact with fans on a platform he uses a lot, and those interactions can be perfectly innocent. not saying this explanation is fact, but there is An explanation), but it does encourage a level of closeness that isn’t healthy or safe for either party. and according to the twitlonger this is something dream realized (which i haven't seen many people take into consideration), given that he had already stopped using dreamclay to talk to fans + replying to them in general

as for the vagueness, i also had that reaction-- i didn't like the twitlonger at all (and still don't tbh), and i was like "if you're innocent why can't you just say that it 100% didn't happen"-- but i do think it's worth remembering that he planned to take legal action and the first legal advice is always Stop Talking because anything you say can and will be used against you. not saying you can't be uncomfortable with it, but innocent or guilty, being vague about the meat of amanda's accusations (aka the snaps) is the best strategy for him

[sailorrhansol]

Hiiii im the same anon who asked about svt x reader x bts! I wanted to say thank you so much for the super detailed and well thought out reply and im so happy it was something you enjoyed thinking about!!!!! and i also wanted to share my reactions to your reply if thats okay!!!

i would have never thought of seokjin and seokmin on my own but since you pointed it out, i can definitely see how they are so similar but in such different ways!!! the dynamic would definitely be interesting!!!

the jimin and vernon kinda took me out because my best friend's bts and svt biases are both jimin and vernon!! (and at the time i was able to read ur reply we were having a sleepover together hahaah) and so just imagining her in a love triangle with both of them was so entertaining especially knowing how vernon and jimin are so different so she'd be so attracted to them bc of different things BUT ALSO you mentioned their similar sensual allure which would be my friend (aka reader??? hahah)'s breaking point! it was a topic we let our imaginations run with and we definitely think it's a pairing/plot that's romcom worthy!!

yoongi and wonwoo slightly took me by surprise but only because it made sense to me!! i have a friend who writes fics they dont publish they only share it with friends and they've written yoongi and wonwoo and they've written them so well!!! so i really saw the vision of yoongi and wonwoo being love triangle leads. like i definitely see how they're similar in the soft/gentle way; they're both definitely cat-coded!! but ive always thought skill/ability-wise, yoongi and mingyu are kinda similar (great cooks, good at building/making things, just general house-husband material), while wonwoo kind of needs to be taken care of for those kinds of things... okay im rambling but my brain finally started working and i think wonwoo and yoongi's (giving) love language is what's different even if their personalities are similar and that definitely would be so interesting to explore especially if they also both fit reader's (receiving) love language!!!

i wanted to end this long ramble by saying i love your writing so much and of all the fic authors of my fave fandoms, ur definitely my writer crush hahaha like legitimately i have a crush on your writing i just think it's that good!!! <3

Hihihi - I legit brought up the question in one of my servers because I was like omg this is such a good thought exercise so legit thank you for asking. I always love like thinking on things and giving details responses, it's the academic in me.

SEE VERNON AND JIMIN ARE SUCH A GOOD PAIR. Like they're SO INSANELY DIFFERENT but in a way that works, I am telling you there is something to it!!! I am so glad y'all got to imagine that one lmaoooo it is soooo good.

I honestly didn't even consider the Yoongi/Mingyu dynamic and now that you mention that, I think you're so right. They're sort of like two sides of the same coin. Like if Yoongi is the moon, Mingyu is the sun but they have a lot of domestic similarities - I love that. Wonu is a little bit baby and you know what we love that for him lmaooo.

Thank you so much for reading my things!! I'm so glad that you enjoy them and it makes me very seoifjdoigjdfogj and shy I don't know how to take compliments lmfao. But I am so glad that you enjoy my writing, thank you so much for reading!!!

[casuallyimagining]

Hhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! NO I LOVE YOUR FICS!!!I'm sorry, I usually ghost read but I reblog fics on my side blog. 😣

Your Yoongi fics are what got me into your account. The pokemon fic is one of my comfort fics bc the atmosphere and softness of it is perfect for rainy days so I LOVE that some of your aus are niche but I get that it can also make interactions lower than usual.

I'm also surprised that When September ends hasnt been getting at lot of well deserved praise either!! 😤 my star wars knowledge isnt that vast but the story so far has been so well written and still immersive, I dont feel left out reading it at all. Yoongi and MC's dynamic hurts my soul (in a good way!) Because I love the childhood friends trope but they've got some demons theyre fighting and I'm excited to find out more about them 👀👀 also hhh I think I might go feral to Yoongis reaction to m/c being taken 👀👀

- 🍒

you are honestly one of only a few people who have said they liked Darkest Day. it, much like When September Ends, is one of my more niche concepts, so it's always nice to see it getting some love.

I don't mind less notes, it's just that 99% of the interaction When September Ends (and most of my fics) gets are just likes? I get wanting to bookmark things for later, or just liking it to keep it handy! but no one ever comes back and says whether they actually enjoyed reading or to ask questions or just keysmash. I get it, but it makes me sad.

but omg yeah childhood friends to lovers is like.. my jam. it's probably my favorite trop right now. we'll get to see more of their friendship soon! I hope you enjoy Yoongi's bits next parttt 💙💙

[litttlestars]

hi, i've been following for a while and i was reading your recent posts on what happened between you and someone else. first, sorry to hear you had to deal with that (you don't deserve it at all)! second, i'm also going through a similar situation, and i was hoping you could tell me what you think about it? tl;dr i've liked this person for a while and they feel the same, but they don't want to commit to anything yet. they said they want to talk more with me and told me they care about how i feel and making me happy, but recently they've been really distant and i'm not really sure why. i've tried talking about it with them but communicating with them is difficult since i usually get left on read often or don't get a response until later. just recently i asked if i could talk to them about something important regarding us. they gave me permission to, i told them about it, and i got left on read again; only to wake up in the morning and find them playing games with their friends. i still don't know their side of things but i feel really hurt, esp after they said they wanted to communicate more with me. but i also feel guilty about feeling hurt by this in the first place, and feel like i should continue to be more understanding about this. what do you think i should do?

im so sorry about that lovely, first of all i just wanna say your feelings are TOTALLY VALID and it's rly hurtful to have someone not put in the same effort of mending the relationship as you do. you should not feel guilty for being hurt bc it's a completely normal and natural reaction to being brushed off. plspls honor your emotions love bc they are important, you are not terrible for recognizing that you are hurt and telling someone how they hurt you. you have every right to feel how you feel.

im not sure if im good at giving advice so def take what i say with a grain of salt and think about how YOU would like to go abt things as well!!

from what you've told me i feel like you've been plenty understanding. just because someone doesnt want to commit, doesnt mean they're allowed to shed all human decency and decide when and how they want to communicate with you, esp when they said that they want to make you happy and keep talking to you. im firmly against the idea that we dont owe people anything- we do. especially if they explicitly said they wanted to keep talking and that they cared about you. if they like you and care about how you feel then i feel like they should at least try a little harder to communicate even if they're not so good at it ? you deserve someone who respects and reciprocates your time and effort, even if they're a little hesitant about getting into smt more serious. all you're doing is asking to talk, and that's the bare minimum. maybe they need time to think over their response so i suppose i'd give it a few days but if they dont reach out after a few days i'd def pop in and say something abt how them leaving you on seen made you feel and how you're viewing the situation as of rn and that you care abt this relationship and this person so talking things over is rly important to you! i would avoid any sort of accusatory statements and moreso focus on how you're feeling and how you would like to move forward bc i suppose you never know what someone is feeling or thinking. it's hard to find a healthy balance between being understanding but also honoring yourself, but i believe in you!! :') you seem like an amazing person and you don't deserve to be strung along.

tl;dr DONT FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING HURT!!!! share how you feel, your perspective, and remember that relationships require effort from both sides! if you find yourself unable to get anywhere with this person, it's not worth it. you can't force someone to talk to you which is tough, but there are plenty of other people out there who DO actually care about you and they will put in the effort to actively show you so that you're not left questioning in the dark or always waiting on them.

[sunnibearr]

SKZ reaction to you matching with another member. -maknae line-

warnings: one swear word, lmk if theres anything else :)

main skz masterlist // hyung line ver.

HAN ( 한 )

you have a matching gym outfit with changbin

he does not see the appeal of matching with changbin, like at all.

"i could match with you!" "sungie we don't work out together." "well then maybe we should start!"

he goes to work out with you twice and then goes back to his regular workouts.

is so pouty and whiny you need to give him so many kisses.

changbin sends jisung gym selfies of you two just to annoy him.

got you a personalized towel that says "jisung is the best boyfriend" for the gym lmao.

FELIX ( 피렉스 )

you own matching mugs with minho.

didn't realise at first, always wondered where you got the mug.

one time he saw minho drinking out of his. "oh! y/n has a similar one!" "because we got them together." "really!?"

the cutest man on this planet omg.

thinks its funny because they're both your guys' favourite mugs.

was surprised when he learned that it was actually minho's idea to get them. (for your birthday.)

the mugs say "don't talk to me" "i'm a bitch" in matching fonts.

SEUNGMIN ( 승민 )

you have matching keychains with chan.

seungmin actually got them for you.

you'd talked to him about wanting to get something for chris, just as a cute little present.

they're these small lego kangaroos, it's adorable.

you both always have the keychain on you. always.

they've become goodluck charms, the boys call them "the godaroos".

he gets you accessories for the kangaroo for your birthdays so you can customize it.

I.N ( 아이엔 )

you own matching merch with jisung

you both like a lot of the same animes so naturally you own a lot of merch.

you have matching howl's moving castle pillow cases.

he even got you an anime character body pillow for christmas.

you ALSO got him a body pillow for that same christmas.

"you guys are weebs (affectionate)." "worried you're gonna get replaced by mikasa?" "yes :("

dont replace the poor man with your aot pillow pls he will sob.

taglist! send an ask to be added.

nobody rn so sad lol

[bullagit]

my friend you are so refined. nice to see posts appreciating stede every once in awhile lol love to clown on the dude but i also feel like the fandom has pushed me into full apologist mode too. like yes he’s wack he has problems but i am also so bored of reading the same takes over and over about why he needs to castigate himself for absolution or be responsible for the actions of other adult human beings lol. ik this is kinda spicy lol but just wanted to let u know ur appreciated

its always rad to know you're not alone in these takes!! i dont consider it spicy at all i think it's completely valid tbh. this got way longer than i planned hold on if u want the tldr its that you are right

anyway at this point im gonna stop even doing the like, "i know stede [xyz about flaw or mistake he made]" preface when i type up meta, unless i'm posting specifically about his flaws or mistakes. 🤷

especially if what i'm writing is about ways stede has been legit wronged, or how parts of fandom only seem to invoke historical accuracy/paying attention to very specific minutiae when it's done in a way that makes stede come across as way more self-aware and self-important than he is in any canon capacity lol. i get tired of meta and interpretations where everything bad that happens in stede's relationships is solely on him, and reconciling is solely on him, and maintaining is solely on him!

these characters are all flawed human beings who bring their baggage to relationships. all of them. and those relationships are two-way streets, from the issues to the repairs. and it's unfair to see it whittled down to like... thoughtful fleshed-out considerations of ed and mary and their circumstances/points of view and how that contributes to their actions, occasionally to the point where even THEIR missteps are suddenly recontextualized to be technically stede's fault. while stede gets surface-level bad faith takes that ignore the context of his actions and the history he has that contributes to his issues. they've all done things that were hurtful, they've all done things they need to work through.

like. just because mary says stede left his family on a whim doesn't mean that's literally what he did! we know full well it wasn't some idle whim he had. the thing is, demonstrably, she and stede do not really know or understand each other. to HER understanding, it was a whim. to stede it was fumbling for hold of a lifeline after a lifetime of slowly drowning. and it doesn't make it less of a terrible thing that he left his family without a word in the night. and it doesn't make it less of a terrible thing that she literally tried to murder him without a word in the night. in the same way that just because they were able to come to an understanding at the very end of the season, it doesn't mean that they could have magically had a satisfying life together If Stede Had Only Been More Open Sooner.

and just because stede did something that broke ed's heart doesn't mean it's stede's fault that ed, a 40+ year old man, attempted the murder of people he knows stede cares about. in the same way that while izzy pushed ed’s buttons and was generally fucking awful to ed in the aftermath, it was ultimately still a choice that ed made to maroon the crew and literally throw lucius overboard!

(and like, i think there's a lot to be said about the fact that if stede had straight-up been intercepted more permanently in some way, if he'd not shown up bc he was hurt/killed/captured/etc, ed's assumptions-- the fact that he at no point seemed to consider that something could have gone wrong with their little plan-- and ultimate awful reactions would have played out the same way. i think there's a lot to be said about the fact that he historically seems to have trouble picking up on stede's issues; being so in love with the whole forest that he tends not to pick up on the state of the individual trees that form it, etc.

but god that's a whole thing i don't even have energy for that rn)

[fanficmemes]

Anon with the fanfic tropes list (most of these are somewhat specific but that's cause they just appeal it me), didn't think you guys want to see it that bad but here it is! (I said it's over 1k words so don't say I didn't warn you) (also Note: few of them are implied nsfw but it's mild)

-The italicized oh.

-Sun and moon dynamic

-Teaching someone how to skate

-comparing hand sizes

-picking a flower and putting it behind someone's ear

-BRAIDING HAIR O U G H

-babysitting together (bonus if kid thinks they're dating but they are just mutually pinning or kid figures out one of them have a crush on the other and either try to get them together or straight up blurts it out while the crushing tries to get them to shut up)

-when someone's laugh/smile/moan becomes a character's favorite sound/look in the world and they try as much as they can to hear/see it

-A Covering their face with their hands/arms/etc and B moving them and saying 'you're beautiful/I love you/I want to see you'

-Sharing headphones

-SHARING/BORROWING CLOTHES (bonus if it's too big for them)

-using nicknames

-Stealing food off someone's plate

-Sharing food with someone

-comparing them to either sun, moon, stars, god, angel, etc and ultimately saying something about worshipping them (and their body LMAO DONT CALL ME OUT)

-Riding on a motorcycle/bike together

-calling someone something in another language (bonus if they don't understand what it means and says it back)

-voice messages

-cooking/baking together

-when a character wears something new and asks 'how does it look?' And the other absolutely short circuits

-sitting between someone's legs?? (Doesn't have to be inherently sexual, it's just cute like:

-playing with someone's hair

-head on someone's lap and they just look up with the sappiest smile on their face

-oh my the inherent and absolute banger of peppering kisses on someone's face!!

-Kissing someone's nose (as in a 'boop' kind of way)

-FOREHEAD TO FOREHEAD (bonus if one of them is cupping the others cheeks)

-Kissing someone's hand

-Scar kissing

-watching someone play video games

-taking pictures of the dumb shit they do (and them favoring those pictures over normal ones)

-friendship bracelets

-personal special friendship greetings

-still using/wearing something someone's outgrown (small rings on necklaces, old tee shirts as headbands, etc also; "you kept that?" "Of course, why wouldn't I? It's special to me." )

-Painting someone's nails

-Seeing how peaceful someone looks while sleeping

-'I missed you.'

-Grabbing someone by the wrist as they're about to leave and saying 'wait-...stay.'

-Hand/finger on someone's mouth and the one with mouth covered is silently short circuits/panics

-pinkie promises

-maybe this is one sided joy but tickle fights

-pillow fights

-Going swimming (bonus if one of them isn't dressed for water and the other is so they just drag them into the pool)

-hugging someone from behind with arms around their waist and head resting on their shoulder

-hugging someone with so much force that they almost fall over

-putting someone's hair over their ear/clipping it

-Getting into a certain media because of someone

-When pets like a person and the owner is like 'Awww they like you, they're usually shy/etc' and it's symbolism for their relationship

-'oh you like this?' (Starts buying merch or whatever it is just for them)/(gives the one they own to them)

-riding something together and the other has to hold them tightly/close

-playing video games together or just watching them play

-Distraction kisses (whether to beat the other in a game or just to distract the long enough to let them escape, it's good)

-singing karaoke together or just preforming as a duo

-When a character wins or finishes a race and they immediately rush to a certain person, asking them 'did you see me/that/did I win??' Cause all they really care about is the person they're asking's opinion

-A staring at B from a far and B noticing them and either waving/smiling at them or blowing them a kiss from a far and A just looking away really quickly cause they were caught

-Saving spots/anything for somebody

-drawing somebody (bonus if the muse actually sees it and they're like 'woah is that me?? You're a great artist!!' And artist reacts by either quickly closing it or just dying)

-licking lips, wether it's their own or their partner's, it's good

-"you taste like (food)"

-aaa goes along with licking lips but like savoring the taste

-*calls other their s/o in front of people proudly and said s/o is either embarrassed or really likes that they're not afraid to be known that they're together*

-alternatively, calling the other their s/o when it's just them and they haven't decided what they are and said s/o is very much short circuiting

-ALTERNATIVELY that but they're together and one of them uses a cute nickname for the other!!

-Leaving Notes around for them w cute messages

-communicating through a notebook/notes together in class

-throwing paper airplanes at them (they have notes inside)

-carrying something someone else always forgets

-sending songs that remind them of each other

-not exactly romantic but this still slaps, other friends seeing their pinning from a mile away and putting bets on them

-when couple gets together, one person going 'TOLD YOU/CALLED IT! HAND IT OVER, (NICKNAME)' and the doubters reluctantly hand over 20 bucks

-and when they do get together and find out, friend group is like 'yeah and what?? Y'all were so obvious *acts out/recalls their past pinning*' and couple just shuts down

-Oh and the pinners somehow gushing to their friends about said crush

-making pictures of said crush and them as their wallpaper

-the dumbest possible contact names for each other

-making a flower crown for someone/putting flowers in the other's hair/tucking a flower behind their ear

-describing a kiss or a feeling as addicting

-describing something as downright sinful

-Siblings or friends cheering/teasing the couple (wether they're dating or pinning, it's always fun)

-running through the rain together and laughing

-Dancing together (bonus if one of them is reluctant or inexperienced to dance and the other teaches them or just tells them to have fun, also bonus if they do 'the dip')

-Taking care of someone while they're sick

-Intoxicated/high/sick person confesses that they like the other/gets affectionate/flirts and other is very blushy (bonus if other gets to see a side of the intoxicated they've never seen before)

-Sharing a drink (like milkshake)

-Kissing someone's lips to taste something or get lipstick

-The visual of lipstick smudged or all over

-A seeing B with a different hairstyle and absolutely being like: 😳💘‼️

-Same reaction but A hears B's morning voice

-Preforming on stage and performer (who's already with s/o) points at their s/o in the crowd and is like 'this one's for you, babe!' And said s/o is embarrassed but finds it endearing

-or the exact opposite where s/o points at performer and says 'THATS MY S/O!!!' very proudly and loudly

Okay why is this so goddamn well thought out!!!! Honestly we should make this an ask game one day bc I’m the “THATS MY SO!!!!” trope