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queenofnohr · 2 months

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Odeline Heaven's Ward Relationship Overview

Zephirin

Sympathetic to her plight, but ultimately has a job to do (pre-ARR)

Encourages the Ward to interact with her throughout the events of HW

Charibert

Wants to persecute her as a heretic sooooooooooooooo badly

(pre-ARR) If she smells Charibert coming, she'll veil herself back up bc she does NOT want to deal with him

(after revival) bites each other bites each other bites each other

Technically her savior

Though because he was the one who persecuted her "family," he was the one she had to fight in trial by combat (real rin vs medea hours; aka she wins not bc of her magic but by mana burst punching him in the gut)

literally "the one that got away" for him. his white whale. LOVES fighting her

Grinnaux

"look at this funny bitch"

Leans slightly neutral toward her, but thinks she's entertaining

Adelphel

Knew her as the weirdo who indulges Jannequinard during his tenure as a Durendaire knight

Wanted/wants (?) to fuck her ngl. He's 22. big shrug.

Gets along fairly well with her even though she rejects his advances

Thinks she's naïve despite being younger than her for thinking ppl don't break their vows of chastity constantly in ishgard

Even tempered, thought things would work out until the very end because they were friends :(

Paulecrain

Eyepatch to eyepatch communication

by that I mean he recognizes her as (somewhat) cut from the same cloth as people who'd struggled to get by in Ishgard

Gains some amount of respect for her after she bests Charibert in her trial by combat

While it isn't really surprising to him that an Au Ra would thrive outside of Ishgard, seeing her when she returns, he wonders how high she plans to climb wrt status

Slightly bitter at her position as House Fortemps ward in HW, especially after learning she's a Problem Child now

On her part, she wants to see him succeed because she does consider him a person (as with the rest of the Ward) and is frustrated to see him content with his lot as it is - when asked "Doesn't [he] want more?" he half-bitterly replies with, "Where else is there to go when you've made it into the Ward?"

Is so fucking confused as to why she rubbed elbows with Jannequinard for clout and she's just like. "He was the only one stupid enough to take me"

post revival, he probably grounds her a lot of the time like "even if you're warrior of light, you're still just a person"

Haumeric

Was On Her Side during her scandal and sent her to complete her schooling afterward; despite this, because of her past trauma, she distrusts his acts of goodliness

Her scandal is what made him seriously consider stepping down from the clergy

(post revival) "I can fix her" "I can make him worse"

Thinks she's a good Halone-fearing woman and thinks her "fall from grace" is a tragedy

unintentionally bullies Odeline after reviving over stuff like pointing out she cried over the Ward or unintentionally making her beg for cock

likes sticking his dick in crazy so, you kno.

Last Ward member she fucks

Guerrique

Likes to fuck with him

before she likes to fuck with him u kno? (post-Ward reviving)

He broke her arm on accident once and feels really bad about it so he sort of lets her behavior slide

Figures out her vibes faster than anyone else but doesn't comment because it's not his lane

First Ward member Odeline fucks bc she thinks he'll be an easy conquest. why would she think this. he's literally exploded a dragon's head with a swing and broken 22 of his axes because of his strength. the reason is she's a little stupid and has a god complex.

Guerrique asks if he should name a new axe after her after they fuck and she's just like .........

Noudenet

Classmates in the Scholasticate

Would bitch about her magic constantly, making her strive to get better

Thinks her mana bursting is big poggers though ("It was very imaginative")

Tells her to study with Charibert rather than Haumeric when she's learning magic from the Ward mages

Janlenoux

BLUE HAIR SQUAD

The only one who can make her calm down maybe a little (with his cooking. Real What's Cooking in the Emiya Household hours)

Technically knew her as the weirdo who indulges Jannequinard when he served House Durendaire

Ward members not listed I'm still cooking for! To be updated as I add more lore~

#odeline tag #long post

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vermilionwinds · 3 years

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11. Preaching to the Choir

A continuation of 4. Baleful

The Southern Front was quiet that night, save for the chirp of insects and the far off rumble of engines.

The air was like breathing in hot syrup, though. Remeraux could feel it sticking to her skin, turning the inside of her armor into a swamp. Perspiration collected on her shoulders in rivulets, to trickle clear down the small of her back and right between her asscheeks. Unpleasant. She squinted her one good eye (her swollen eye came pre-squinted, and it smarted something fierce when the rubber eyepiece bumped against it) through her binoculars as she made another sweep of the battlefield. Leaning her elbows lazily against the burlap sandbags that made up their post, she drummed her fingers against the binoculars with one hand while the other went to fiddle with the focus. Her gaze settled on a squat little warmachina, creeping over a muddy ridge on its four flat discs of feet. Remeraux always thought those ones looked a little like ducks, at least in the face. A glowing blue lens made for an eye on either side of its 'head', and a perforated dark metal barrel for a beak. It was scurrying a little too close to camp for her liking.

“Nimrod. Eleven bells. Roundabouts… two malms out, I reckon.”

Remeraux’s voice was the first sound to break the silence.

“On it.”

The second sound, another voice, in reply.

The crack of a rifle, ringing a little in Remeraux’s pointed ear, was the third.

Through her binoculars, Remeraux watched the bullet find her target. Right through that shiny blue lens, exploding that glass into powder. It sputtered sparks and blue flame from the jagged impact crater, and like a puppet separated from its strings it ceased to move. The coast looked clear enough, after that. Remeraux kept her vigil for just long enough to check for any moves of reprisal. It was a relief to find that their enemy was fine to let them take a pawn of their own, for the time being. She lowered her binoculars and withdrew for the moment, sliding down the wall back down into their foxhole.

Remeraux fiddled in the pocket of her thick, armored coat for something as she watched the woman next to her take her knee off its perch on the edge of the sack wall, exiting her perfect rifleman's stance. Joining her within the confines of their cozy little pit, she lowered the butt of the rifle, rich woods and dull metals, to the ground at her side. Remeraux found herself having to crane her neck up ever so slightly to look at her, despite how similar they were in height. It was probably because, unlike her, Misija wasn’t leaning against the wall.

Now that she thought about it, Remeraux wasn't sure that she’d ever seen the woman so much as slouch.

“Chocolate?” Remeraux asked, as she produced a foil-wrapped square from her pocket. She put the fingertip of her padded gauntlet between her teeth and yanked the whole thing off. She wasn't fussy enough to not just open her mouth when she'd pulled her hand free and let the gauntlet just drop right to the floor (just a series of planks pressed into the wet earth). Freshly dexterous, Remeraux unwrapped the foil with grimy fingers. She broke off a messy square of the pitch-black bar with a snap, and held it out to the pale Roegadyn, who just gave a nod in the affirmative and took it first into her hand, and then her mouth. The corners of those equally pale lips turned up, just a hair. Remeraux nodded, smiling in return. She didn’t manage to get many of those from Misija, although to tell the truth they'd only started spending time together recently. But, she had taken plenty of opportunities to glance at her: from across the sands of Gangos, from the other side of Utya's Aegis when she was busy with the Ironworks staff and Remeraux should have really been focusing on taking inventory.

Something about the quiet intensity she radiated, steel eyes like searchlights, gave her the feeling smiling wasn’t something she did often. The few times Misija's own gaze settled on her, though, always made her stomach tie itself in knots. It was definitely doing so now. She distracted herself from the sensation by breaking off her own hunk and shoving it in her mouth. It was shitty chocolate, bitter as sin, but it was better than anything they’d had to eat in a while.

“How’s your eye?” Misija inquired, crossing one arm over her other. Remeraux waved her off nonchalantly with her free hand, as her jaws worked through the dense matter. She swallowed.

“Better than his, I reckon. Fer a soldier, bastard couldn’t throw a punch ta save his life.”

The two women shared a chuckle, briefly flashing teeth smudged with dark chocolate. It was funny, Remeraux thought in the moment before the expression faded from Misija’s face like a snowflake that just touched ground. Usually teeth were the only thing that shone white in faces turned to a sea of brown grime, out there on the Front. For Misija, it was the opposite. Grey hair on grey skin on grey eyes on grey lips. The chocolate on her teeth was the only splash of color present on her face.

“You really didn’t need to get involved, though.” Misija exhaled through her nose, those searchlights of hers scanning Remeraux’s face as if they'd find their answers by scouring them from her skin. “My honor is not a thing that needs defending.”

Remeraux rolled her shoulders. She can’t help but inevitably brush against her ears with her shoulderpads with the gesture, they were just that big. The ears, kind of, but mostly the shoulderpads. “Ain’ just fer you. Don’t stand fer that kinda talk around me. Learned ta punch ta get it to stop a looong time ago.” She chuckled, just a few sharp exhales out of her nose, and popped another square between her lips. She extended another to Misija, who broke off one of her own.

“...The Star may have its depths of cruelties, but few of them are novel, it seems.” Misija mused, her eyes appraising the chocolate as she tilted it side to side between two fingers, before putting it into her mouth.

“Ye’re tellin’ me….” Remeraux just sat in the evening's silence, for just a moment. “Ta find it true o’ Bozja though... that was a bit of a shock, I gotta say.”

The corners of those pale lips dropped back down to a line. “Well. Consider yourself informed.” It was a level response, matter-of-fact and cold. More silence. More chewing. Remeraux couldn’t stand the quality the silence had taken on forever, and was the first one to break it.

“...I know, I know. A mite naive, I s'pose” She shrugged, apologetically. She ran her tongue across the front of her teeth, picking up stray bits of sugar. “Jus’... grew up on folk tales, about it. Bozja, that is. From me mum. An’ she was the child o’ refugees, so I guess the truth got a bit stretched in the tellins." Remeraux scratched the back of her head awkwardly, dragging her nails through short-cropped hair drenched in sweat. "But a kingdom under the sun an’ sand… A goodly queen, loved by her people… An’ a 'fine republic' af’er that.” She sighed, looking around at the wasteland of a countryside. What few structures remained, south of the old ruined capital, still half-melted into crystal at their tips, blasted back and frozen in a photograph of the devastation. ”Even if it was over before my time, it was a nice thing ta hear tell about.”

Misija just took the words in, providing nothing in the quality of her expression to act as commentary. “A nation’s truth is never the stories that it tells about itself." She said pointedly, before turning her eyes back on Remeraux. "Judging by the way you responded to those soldiers, I wouldn’t guess you exactly believe in Ishgard, the good King Thordan and his knights twelve, and the mandate of the Archbishop, blessed first among Halone’s Children…”

Remeraux cocked an eyebrow. Misija just shrugged.

“Unless my intuition is mistaken.”

“Is there somefin’ about my face that just screams Ishgard?” Remeraux gave Misija a playful punch on the shoulder, and got another smile, however slight, out of the woman. "Izzit the ears? The teeth?"

“Mostly just your name. Although I’ll freely admit to having no firsthand knowledge of the place. Imperial education may be broad, but it was rudimentary in some areas.”

Another pause for chewing.

“...Imperial education?” Remeraux asked, as neutrally as she could make the words sound.

Misija gave those silvery eyes a roll, and held out her hand for another break of the bar. Remeraux obliged.

“Don’t look so surprised. Basjalsen himself was a Legion field medic for years. You’ll find that many members of the resistance first lived under the Imperial yoke before turning against their masters.”

Remeraux just shoved the last bit of the chocolate bar in her mouth. The bitterness of it made her salivate something fierce. It was welcome relief from how quickly her throat dried out nowadays, in the moon since... since the gassing.

And it was a better thing to put into her mouth than her own foot.

“...What was it like?" Remeraux mumbled the words from around a cheek full of the candy. "Imperial schoolin', I mean."

“It was… a lifeline.” The way Misija looked at her when she said that… it was as if she left no room for argument. As if it was fact that Remeraux had no choice but to accept. “The fortunate children of Bozja enjoy claiming their homeland of old was a bastion of equality… but, tell that to those not born to the privileged few, eh? You were either born high…”

“Or low.” Remeraux finished the sentence. She spat onto the ground. The chocolate in her spittle made it blend nicely with the mud. “Don’t I know it, sis.”

Misija nodded.

“When the IVth legion took control of the country, they implemented a policy of universal education. I was fed, clothed, taught a trade. I can’t imagine I would have survived, otherwise…" Remeraux recognized that look on her face, suddenly less impossible to read. It was a face she'd seen in herself in mirrors. "...It is hard to not be grateful even. For the occupation.” She exhaled through her nose, and scowled. “The Bozja I knew as a girl deserved what it got, in the end.”

Remeraux mulled the woman’s words over. “...Honestly? I wouldn't hold that against ya.” She gave a sigh as weary as she felt, and rubbed her hands together. One bare, one gloved, crumpling the now empty foil into a ball that she continued to roll between her palms as she spoke. “The Brume, they called it in Ishgard. The ‘wrong’ part o’ town, anyways. Cute little name, ain' it?" Remeraux sneered, choking on the faux saccharinity. "An' a righ' brume it was... stuck us wif all the fog and smog an’ run-off from a city that’s far too vertical. Spent me childhood suckin’ up smoke an’ fumes, as our folks barely could afford us bread on th’ table…” She tossed the ball underhand, caring not where in the foxhole it landed. “Knew I’d go mad if I kept livin’ like that, if I didn’t jus’ starve one day. I jus’... I dunno.”

She could feel those words creep up onto her tongue. They were words that were always rattling around the inside of her chest, until they had to try and climb out of her throat. They tasted acrid, caustic, and had grown in her like bile since the day she returned home for the first time, to a life frozen solid. The day she’d seen what had become of her sister. And every day it seemed, at some point or another, she had to swallow them down hard, and they scratched the inside of her throat as they travelled back down.

Remeraux looked at Misija, and something about the way she returned that gaze, as if appraising her anew, made the core of her being flare hotter than the air around them. Not for the first time, the thought of pressing her lips against Misija's own came unbidden to her mind. She could almost imagine what it would be like for the woman to explore her mouth. How small she would feel in the light of the woman's intensity. But now... she bet she’d taste those same words on Misija's tongue as she took it between her lips. And with that thought... for once, she let them spill.

“Ishgard deserved a hell of a lot worse.”

The corner of those pale lips turned up. Just one of them, enough to show a flash of teeth. Like a lion reminding you of the quality of its jaws. Something about the sight sent a new thrill through Remeraux. It was a dizzying thing, to let lose with words she'd nearly choked on and still be met with approval. A hungry approval. And for once, it was Misija to push through the space between them. She put a hand on her shoulder. It was a simple thing. A simple touch. Even through her armor, her palm seared into Remeraux’s skin.

“...We should get back to our posts, no?”

"...Righ'."

Remeraux swallowed, her mouth dry all over again, and clambered back up with her binoculars.

“...’Nother nimrod. Two bells. Jus’ over the ridge.”

“On it.”

Another crack of Misija’s rifle, as her bullet found its mark.

#ffxivwrite2021 #ffxivwrite #RemerauxWrites

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asma-al-husna · 3 years

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Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

Haleem comes from the root Haa-laam-meem, which points three main meanings. The first main meaning is to be forbearing, lenient and to be forgiving and the second is to be calm and serene. The third main meaning is to be not hasty and exhibit moderation.

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Linguistically, the concept of hilm refers to the patience that arises from a sense of deep serenity and lenience and the concept of sabr points to the patience that arises by self-restraint and enduring something without complaint. Al-Haleem: . . . observes disobedience to Him, yet anger doesn’t incite Him, nor does wrath seize Him, nor do haste and recklessness move Him to rush to take vengeance even though He’s utterly capable of doing that. [Al-Ghazali]

Al-Haleem Himself says: If you loan Allah a goodly loan, He will multiply it for you and forgive you. And Allah is Most Appreciative and Forbearing [Quran, 64:17]. . . And Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. [Quran, 2:225]

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

Al-Haleem Himself says: And if Allah were to punish people for what they have earned, He would not leave upon the earth any creature. But He gives them respite for a specified term. [Quran, 35:45] Al-Haleem can delay a punishment to give you time to return to Him, seek His forgiveness, and change your ways, because He is forbearing. He can even cancel your punishment altogether. Isn’t Al-Haleem acting out His love for us in an amazing way?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

Imagine that you got caught doing something bad, but the person let’s it slide and doesn’t punish you or embarrass you. Would you feel embarrassment, relief, and gratitude, telling them you’re not going to do it again and be grateful for their forbearance? What about Allah? Every single day we do things we shouldn’t, and in most instances He lets it go. Because He is Al-Haleem, His hilm is far above any forbearance a human being can ever show.

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

The parental system teaches us about Al-Haleem; the father and mother don’t have any rancour or hatred towards their children. In fact, they’re ready to sacrifice everything for their happiness. In this context Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allah, and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allah said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire? We said, No, by Allah, not if she is able not to. The Messenger of Allah said, Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child. [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim] Who imbedded the great mercy and tenderness in a loving mother’s heart? Allah Al-Haleem.

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

Is it forbearance when you let it slide once or twice but explode the third time because you have so much rancour inside you? Many relationships get destroyed because of moments of rage. Hilm is when you’re in a position to show your anger but still hold it back. How? Let Al-Haleem inspire you. Another way is to simulate forbearance for the sake of Al-Haleem, even though you feel enraged. Tell yourself: I’m suppressing my anger because I love Him and seek His Love, because I want to be close to Him, and because I would like to obey His messenger.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

Al-Haleem says to the people who inherited a garden but didn’t let the poor benefit from it: Such is the punishment [of this world]. And the punishment of the Hereafter is greater, if they only knew. [Quran, 68:33] This punishment was a wake-up call for them and a mercy, because they realized their mistake. If Allah had allowed them to do as they wanted, their punishment in the Hereafter would be unforeseen. So know that Al-Haleem did set rules out for you and never take advantage of His forbearance.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

Never be arrogant to a sinning person and try to advise him gently and by showing a good example. Think to yourself: such a sinful person may, one day, turn to Al-Haleem with sincere repentance and become better and dearer to Allah than I am. Only put a person in check for the sake of Allah, so that they are made aware of the consequences of their actions and return to Allah.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

Just like you would be grateful to anyone who overlooks your faults and mistakes, recognize the extreme and intense forbearance of Al-Haleem towards you and return to Him after you sin. And as a way of being thankful to al-Haleem for His forbearance, remember to train yourself to be forbearing.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

O Allah Al-Haleem, we know You are the Most Forbearing and You delay and cancel Your Punishment with great Wisdom. Protect us from taking advantage of Your Hilm by persisting in bad deeds, aid us to return to You after we sin, adorn us with gratitude for Your Forbearance and patience in hardships, make us of those who are forbearing and kind to others, never be arrogant and help us to develop hilm in times of anger, ameen!

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paperfury · 6 years

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REVIEW: Shadowblack (Spellslinger #2) by Sebastien De Castell

goodreads /// publisher /// buy /// review of book 1: Spellslinger

The Spellslinger series, so far, is a lot of fun!

I mostly like it in a lowkey way, so it’s fun but I don’t love it to pieces. It hasn’t emotionally grabbed me at all. I care about Kellen a lot but the rest of the characters sort of flit about my attention.

I do love the book’s fun voice!

It reminds me of Skulduggery Pleasant with a smidge of The Lightning Thief ...and it's younger YA too, which I really approve of because we need ALL types and styles of YA books! Kellen is 16 and seriously quirky and lively and has a self-depreciating and mocking tone.

Unfortunately the plot of the book seemed to be killing time for the finale.

They're solving the mystery of this random town which has the Shadowblack curse in it. So like a whole book featuring Shadowblack, I kind of hoped I'd get more of a feel for what it is?? But Kellen doesn't seem affected by it at all? He talks about visions but we barely see that? And he's supposed to have this darkness exploding in him, but where is it? I have questions. I want to see.

I struggle with the secondary characters.

Ferius, the old grumpy mentor, is so cryptic she’s downright annoying. I felt her only role was to say nothing so Kellen could “find his own way” which is about as fun to read about as a bowl of alphabet soup. And the romance between Kellen and the random-girl-he-meets-in-the-new-city was just a little lacking in sparks and chemistry.

However I still have ALL the adoration for the talking racoon.

Or squirrel cat. Whatever he is! He's hilarious and snarky and the scene where he takes a hot bath and eats butter biscuits and snarks is actually my favourite scene. What this says about me, or the book, I'm not sure. Let's leave it and move forward before this gets awkward. (HE IS ROCKET OUT OF GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY I WILL NOT BE SWAYED ON THIS.)

Shadowblack is definitely a fun and quirky sequel, but still needs something more to stand out for me.

It was fast to get through and had goodly paced action and it was interesting exploring the Shadowblack and the evil magic there.

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bewareofchris · 7 years

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cleaning out my files, found out that apparently I started writing a fuck-or-die fic with the Avengers?

NC-17 | Steve/Tony | Sex? Bad language? Terrible plot.

After it was all over, like long-over and done with, and Bruce emerged from the depths of Tony's lab after Jarvis assured them that the air had been good and properly scrubbed clean, they decided that it started with Steve. (And by they he meant, Bruce, who was the only unbiased person involved in the entire thing.)

In fact, Bruce decided, it probably started with a sneeze.

Three days ago, while fighting the entrepreneurial villain of the week, Captain America got hit in the face by a ruby the size of a softball (and the fact that he left it behind was an entirely different matter). The impact didn't do much to knock him back but it didn't manage to give him a bloody nose and ten minutes later when they breached the inner workings of the madman's lair (Tony was terrible at keeping up with villain names, they were just so ridiculous) Captain America interrupted a dastardly monologue with an ill-timed sneeze that blasted a goodly radius with the clots of blood that had previously been only bothering Steve. Now they were splattered on everywhere and bothering everyone.

Steve looked so damn much like he was going to apologize for sneezing in the middle of the evil speech that Tony cut him off with a 'bless you' and then turned his attention to the villain. Had that sneeze been the only sneeze, nothing bad would have come of it, but you can never sneeze only once. The second time Cap sneezed he managed to knock his head against something sharp enough to cut open his cheek so that when Crazy Von Crazy Pants exploded a vial of powdery-something or another onto the floor with a vicious cackle, Steve had two very wide open points of entry into his bloodstream.

Tony, however, was totally safe thanks to technology.

Two days ago, Steve was fumbling through breakfast in the communal kitchen (something that was entirely optional and therefore Tony almost never went except when Pepper had gotten distracted with making friends with the other Avengers). Clint was making a rare showing at the breakfast table eating something unidentifiable out of a bowl that he had in the protective curl of his arm while he shoveled it by spoonful into his mouth.

Nothing happened out of the ordinary and everything was fine. Nobody could possibly have realized that Steve was incubating a disease that was going to turn them all into mindless sex zombies in just a matter of hours.

Two days ago, after dinner, Tony happened across Steve in the gym. He was all but literally standing in a puddle of sweat, shirtless, bare (bloodied) knuckles beating another sandbag to death.

"Are you alright?" There was a time for quips and a time for honest-fucking worry because the excessively sensible Steve Rogers was bare-knuckle boxing his tenth sandbag of the evening. Tony wasn't an expert on people but he was pretty sure that when people looked the way Steve looked there was something very wrong. And when Steve turned to look at him, it was all animal-brain with nothing of any higher intelligence than a dog sniffing after a bitch. "Jarvis," Tony said (conversationally), "what's happening to Steve?"

"Mr. Rogers heart rate seems to be elevated, sir," Jarvis said.

Just about then, with Steve turned to face him completely, was the first time he noticed that Steve had an incredibly obvious boner. The fact of which either escaped the normally blushing-blond or was the root (so to speak) of the problem.

"Hey," Tony said with his hands up, "ill-timed boner, we've all had them. I'll just go and let you get back to that." He was going to make the most manly possible run for it and seek out reinforcements to handle this kind of crazy but Steve moved fast when he wanted to. "Jarvis," Tony said about the time he was slammed bodily into a wall, "tell everyone to come here."

"Of course, sir," Jarvis said.

"I don't feel right," Steve told him. As if the fact that he had shoved Tony into a wall, pulled both his arms over his head and kicked apart his legs wasn't enough of an indication that things were very wrong in Capsville. "I haven't felt right since we got back yesterday." The effort it took him to speak looked painful on his face and in the tight ropes of muscle sticking out in his shoulders and the veins throbbing in his neck. "I've been thinking about having sex with everyone."

"Welcome to puberty," Tony said.

"No I mean," and Steve was just so sincere and worried as he ripped Tony's shirt off from collar to hem and then set to yanking it back off his arms. Steve abandoned his train of thought to press both of his hands against Tony's skin and drag them down his chest and then back up, stopping only to gasp (honest to God) when he discovered Tony's nipples were hard after been rubbed the wrong way. "No I mean," he said again, "I have to have sex with you." There he was with bloody hands rubbing all over Tony, talking low under his breath and then he kissed him.

Tony shoved him away because there was playing along and then there was getting tongued by a crazy person while you were waiting for reinforcements. "Hey," he said, "whatever's going on, we can figure it out without your tongue in my mouth."

"I need this," Steve told him. He said it like he was starving, like he was absolutely sure that it was the only thing that could cure him, and his hands hadn't stopped moving across Tony's skin. "Please?"

"Not that I'm not for casual sex but I'm pretty sure this isn't something you actually want so I'm going to say no and we can go--"

"Sir," Jarvis said, "it seems that Mr. Barton and Mr. Banner have gone out and Ms. Potts said that she will not be available unless its a life or death emergency for at least another half an hour. Should I try Mr. Rhodes?"

Oh God, that would be great, Rhodey could show up just in time to see Captain Crazy trying to stick his tongue down Tony's throat and they'd have to work on explaining that for the next twelve months. Still, Rhodey had the War Machine suit and that was something more than what Tony had at the moment. "What about Thor?"

"Thor's on Asgard," Steve said, "it'd really help, Tony, if you let me--"

"You're not getting it if you can't ask for it," Tony said. "Jarvis can you do a complete scan of Steve?"

"Certainly, sir."

"How do I? What do--Tony," Steve said. He took a moment, both hands pressing in against Tony's chest like he could crush whatever answer he was looking for out of him. And then they were moving up to his neck, one thumb against the front of Tony's throat in a gesture that wasn't anything at all near comforting and Steve was closer-closer than he had been a minute ago. His body was radiating heat like a furnace and his lips looked bitten and chapped and he was breathing so hard it was starting to sound painful.

"Would you like the full results of the analysis, sir?" Jarvis asked.

Tony was half-an-inch away from getting humped through the wall by a spontaneously horny super soldier and Jarvis was wasting his time asking polite questions. "Just tell me what's abnormal."

"Mr. Rogers heart rate and temperature are critical, sir."

"You have to be fucking kidding me," Tony whispered. He wasn't ready to buy into the fuck-or-die scenario just yet but Steve had just all but collapsed against him, dripping sweat everywhere, mumbling nonsensical bullshit into his shoulder, still groping at his body like he couldn't stop. "So you think sex is going to make this better?"

"I don't know," Steve said, "I just want to--please, I just want to--" Then he kissed him again, with bitten-open lips and a bloody tongue and Tony let him do it. He stood there, hands loose on Steve's sides where the shivering of his muscles was the strongest, and let Steve kiss him until all he could taste was Steve's damn blood.

"Hey," Tony said, with sudden inspiration, one hand shoving Steve back, "why don't you jerk off and I'll watch?"

Steve blinked at him and then stumbled backward while he ripped at his pants. His dick was angry-red and painful looking but Steve took it in hand and started jerking off mercilessly. When he came, he blacked out and Tony was still too stuck on the fact he was watching Steve Rogers, All-American virgin of the year, jerk off to realize he probably should have caught him (or at least tried) when he fell.

It took about fifteen minutes for Cap to wake up and only about ten for Tony to realize that the room was getting ridiculously hot all around him and that maybe there was something to whatever Steve had been trying to tell him. He had meant to leave as soon as Steve passed out but there he was still, trying to pick up the frazzled edges of his mind as his body vetoed his every thought about escape.

Steve was here.

Steve wanted to have sex.

Sex was a damn good idea.

Tony was an idiot for turning down sex.

Seriously, look at Steve. Look at every single inch of Steve.

Look at his ass.

And Tony thought that if he survived what the hell was happening he really owed Steve an apology for not believing him in the first place. The man had been through twenty four hours of this shit and Tony was crawling up Steve's body with an embarrassing needy whimper after twenty minutes. "Jarvis," he managed to get out, through the fog in his head, "tell the others--tell Banner not to come. He can't--tell him to go to the lab."

Yes, the lab was on a completely different air circulating system. Just in case this shit was in the air, whatever it was. Then Steve was blinking awake again, already-hard (or just still) and he lifted his head to see Tony there, shirtless and sweaty, and frowned. "It got you," he said.

"Yeah," Tony agreed, "I think it's infectious." He he kissed Steve, kissed him as hard as he could, both palms against his chest, hands cupped around his fucking amazing chest, and Steve wrapped both arms around him and turned them over. Tony was flat on his back, trying to work his pants off, completely passed the point of common sense and even the most passing interest in modesty, when Pepper walked in.

"What--" Pepper shouted.

Tony really would have like to have an answer for her but Steve was rocking against him, grinding down against his body while he tongue-fucked Tony's mouth and whatever he might have been able to think of was lost in the sudden, all-encompassing need to get off (or die, it felt like). He wrapped both his legs around Cap's hips and dragged fingernails down his arms, broke the skin and felt the warmth of his too-hot blood and thought (well this is going to be hard to explain).

Jarvis was saying something, Tony couldn't figure it out, but Steve dropped his mouth away from Tony's to bite at his neck and shoulder and grabbed his ass to pull his body up to change the way they were rubbing together. All at once he seemed to stumble across the idea of ass sex and it must have been so fantastic that it shoved him over the edge and Tony followed after because Steve Rogers just came all over him and he couldn't fucking help it.

For about five minutes, after that, before it started again, Tony had enough brain power to try to explain to Pepper that something was wrong. "I think it's infectious."

"Like a disease?" Pepper asked. She hadn't left yet, and really she probably should leave now because Steve was looking at her with unadulterated lust-and-hope-and-want. Tony still had both legs wrapped around him or he might have tried to drag Pepper into the mess. "And you got it how?"

"I don't know," Tony said, "could you bring us lube? And keep everyone else out of here?"

Pepper gave him a look that informed him she was expecting hazard pay for this kind of bullshit but she nodded her head and left all the same. Steve groaned his disappointment against Tony's chest and then said, "we have to figure out how to stop this."

"Sure thing," Tony said, "I'll get right on--oh wait, I can't because finding a solution to this problem requires higher brain function for longer than five minute intervals."

In the ten minutes it took Pepper to find lube and send it back with Clint, Steve had flipped Tony onto his gut, dragged him up by the hips and pushed two spit-lubed fingers up his ass. Tony might have taken objection to it in any other circumstance but he was too busy scratching up the carpet and shoving his whole body back into Steve's fingers to muster up any kind of a logical reply. Even if Clint hadn't shown up with an economy sized bottle of lube, Tony probably would have begged Steve to fuck him just to take the edge off.

"Oh God," Tony said when the bottle was tossed at them. "Oh thank God."

Steve was a smart guy when he needed to be and Tony was never so grateful for that as he was when it took less than a minute to go from getting finger fucked to having Steve pushing his slicked-up dick in. It was like a sudden explosion of stars behind his eyes, the divine feeling of pure inspiration and genius pouring through his whole body. He came just from the rightness of it and collapsed onto the floor without a single passing worry for how difficult it must have been for Steve to hold him up and fuck into him simultaneously.

"So you're drugged," Clint said from the side.

"Pretty sure," Steve said through his clenched tight lips.

"Pepper said you think it's infectious," Clint said. He was wincing at every audible slap of skin-on-skin, at the way Tony had to be getting super-bruises from the superhuman fingers digging into his hips. He'd care more but it took effort and he was riding a wave of humming pleasure and pure relief from the bone-breaking need that had been overwhelming his brain a minute ago. "Like airborne or bodily fluids? What kind of infectious."

"Ask me later," Tony said.

Steve agreed with a groan that rattled straight through both of their bodies as he jerked forward, dick buried as deep into Tony as he could get and came forever.

Clint was still there when Tony blinked awake again. Steve was still there too, rocking against him, dick still buried in his ass, one hand still pawing at his body like he had all the right in the world. Tony shook his head enough to clear it and considered the whole situation in as objective and analytical a manner as possible with a newly returned raging hard-on.

"You shouldn't stay," Tony said.

"Pepper and Jarvis locked down the building," Clint said, "I can't leave unless you can figure out a way to get out of this room without opening the door." He was just sitting there, like live-action porn was something he watched all the time.

Steve reached around Tony to grab his thigh and pull it up so he had a better angle to fuck into him from behind. They were both on their sides and Tony groaned because that-felt-really-good and he was pretty sure he'd regret this whole stupid idea tomorrow. "Sorry," Steve said. It might have been more impressive if he weren't busy trying to rearrange Tony's intestines with his dick.

"Is Banner safe?" Tony asked.

#a minor miracle #MCU #fuck or die #old fic #unfinished fic

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whyshebiteownass · 7 years

Text

Old Excerpts: Ghost Light (2014)

Warning for gore and horrifying body horror, obvious unwilling sexual conduct between a person and some sort of horrifying abomination

They rode in silence for a lot longer, Anthy discomforted still by their previous topic of conversation and the blank eyed doll that her companion had yet to put back into her bag, and the light too dim for her to take up her needlework. Valdis, for her part, simply appeared to be napping, taking advantage of the train ride to get some shut eye in safety. Anthy turned her gaze to the window, watching the terrain pass them as the train chugged its way through the woodlands. Night had long since fallen, so there wasn't much visible beyond the shadows of passing trees and, occasionally, what looked like eye shine. That is, except the stanchions, glowing faintly in the darkness; Anthy started counting between them, ticking off the seconds by the tick of the watch at Valdis's waist.

One, two, three... she counted them out; five minutes between each of the yard long crystals. So intent was she, that the first drop of rain to splash the window startled her into jerking back; she hadn't realized he'd been leaning so close the the glass pane. A crash sounded outside their cabin.

She glanced at the door; she could feel the feathers along her scalp lifting in agitation, but she calmed herself; they'd been quiet for a while - she hadn't noticed how long, having not paid attention when the muffled but clear carousing from the cabin across the small hallway had quieted down, but the sharp sound in the newly realized silence was.... disconcerting. Renewed silence for another long moment made her think that was the end, but a short, low shriek had her on her feet; across the way Valdis's boots thumped down onto the floor, her face vulpine in the low light, the light of the oil lamps in the hall casting weird shadows through the tinted glass on their door; the tattoos marking her face oddly purple in the light.

They froze, both of them, when the next sound they heard was a moan, low, and clearly, blatantly sexual. Anthy's face flared crimson and she sat back down primly, hands in lap, fingers twined together and her gaze locked out the window into the downpour. Valdis, for her part, snorted and settled back into place; but this time she settled against the wall to the hallway, the door at her left shoulder; a turn of her head would give her a goodly view through the blue glass. Fortunately for Anthy, after that first sound there were no others, but that didn't help when she already knew what was going on across the hall. She went back to counting the seconds between the stanchions, feeling her companion's gaze on her; and finding it somewhat comforting.

She was at almost four hundred seconds when she realized she'd missed a stanchion. No dim pink glow had broken the warped and soggy view out the window; had she counted wrong? She kept going; six hundred or thereabouts would bring the next.

And it did. But it was half the height it should be, the glowing line barely over a foot long, dim and flickering. She inhaled sharply, "Did you see...?" But Valdis was already at the window, prying the glass frame open. Water poured in as the necromancer leaned out into the wetness, "Come back in, you'll be soaked!"

Valdis did, jerking herself back inside, a little wild around the eyes, "The stanchions are out."

"No. You're mistaken, maybe they're just... replacing a few. And we can't see them in the darkness. Maybe I miscounted, or they get more spread out along this stretch..." Was the train speeding up, Anthy wondered to herself, flinching when Valdis slammed the window closed again.

"They're out. Look," one gloved hand came up, pointing towards the floor by the door; in the dimness there, a tiny green light; one of the wisps flickered, joined by another in a moment, both huddled down beside their mistress's bag. Wisps which shouldn't be able to be on a protected train.

Anthy made a tiny, strangled noise, arms folding around her belly, but Valdis caught her by the arm, "Away from the window now; and be quiet." The necromancer pulled the blind down over the window, blocking their view, but also blocking the view inwards as well. She settled Anthy on the floor by her bag and the wisps before going back for Anthy's bag, scooting it into reach; Anthy caught it and pulled in into her lap. She startled when the wisps huddled in beside the bag on her lap, but the little lights didn't hurt her, or burn her; they just settled close to each other, their mild glow casting shadows. Anthy folded her hands over them to block their light, and shivered at the tiny, gentle touch of them against her fingertips.

Valdis was holding a gun when she looked up again, her gave focused on the door as she loaded bullets that gleamed silver in the minimal light into the bolt action handgun's magazine. She glanced down, a smile twisting her thin lips when she noticed the wisps under Anthy's hands, "I'm a shit shot with one of these. Stay low and as hidden as you can, and see if you can get the rifle under the bench loaded. How I showed you, remember?" Anthy nodded and dropped flat, not even caring her skirts were hiking up, and reached under the bench; the rifle in its case was there as promised. She struggled back into a low sitting position as Valdis unlatched the door, sliding it open and easing into the hallway, loaded gun leading, hands ready on trigger and bolt slide. Anthy reached for one edge of her shawl, it having fallen loose when she was reaching for the rifle, and while she fumbled the cloth was pressed into her hand; a dim blue glow and the tiny cold touch made it obvious a third wisp had joined them.

"Where are the bullets?" She hissed out the door; rather than the necromancer answering, a fourth wisp, this one orange and a little larger than the three settled with her, floated in and landed on Valdis's bag; chiming a little sigh until Anthy, with hands she hadn't realized were shaking so much, started to fumble it open.

In the hallway, Valdis looked up and down the long hallway of the rattling train; it was clean now, by the increasingly violent rattle of the oil lamps and the sway of the train that they were, in fact, picking up speed. No one else seemed to have noticed; at least that's what she was going to assume the lack of company in the hallway meant; the other options were rather grim.

The train jolted, hard, and she was forced to her knees, one hand going to the wall to prevent slamming into it, at the end of the train the door between cars slammed open; the gun was pointed in that direction immediately, but it was only a frightened looking man in the train staff uniform; his eyes locked on the gun and he put his hands up to show he meant no hard, kicking the door violently closed behind him, "Ma'am, I won't tell anyone you had a gun out if you please return to your compartment and lock the door." His voice was shrill, though, and he blanched when her orange wisp floated back out into the hallway; but only for a moment. Some of the color seemed to come back into his face as he seemed to process her appearance, eyes lingering on the dark tattoos, so stark against the white of her skin and hair, "On second thought, ma'am, if I could receive your assistance for a moment?"

She lowered the gun, and half turned into her compartment, "Anthy," her charge looked up at her name, eyes bright in her dark face, the rifle carefully - and correctly, Valdis noted, pleased - gripped in her hands, barrel thoughtfully pointed towards the covered window.

"Yes?"

"Get under the bench."

"Yes."

Valdis kicked the door closed, waiting until it latched to step away, nodding to the train conductor stepped up to join her; he'd been putting out the oil lamps as he walked up the train, clearly not oblivious to the danger they represented; still, it cast them into darkness, "The stanchions are out?"

He sighed, and she could barely make out his nod, not to mention his whispered reply, "They are. We're picking up speed, I assume to get out of this dead zone. But from the back, it... it looked like there was something on the side of the train."

Valdis stilled, forcing loose the tightened grip on her gun which she'd instinctively clutched when he'd confirmed what she already knew about the stanchions, "Where?" But really, she didn't have to ask, her gaze turning to the room across the hall from she and Anthy's compartment; of course it would be there.

Still, she closed her eyes for a moment when the train conductor, following her gaze to the door, nodded in confirmation. He waited for her to gather herself before he leaned in to look in the window; but something - not the blind, it was now clear, but something other - blocked out any light or sound that might have leaked through. The conductor stepped forward, reaching for the door handle, and gave it the slightest twist; it did not move, locked.

Their gazes met, and he reached down, fumbling at his waist for his keys while Valdis stepped to one side, gun up and level on where the door would open. The door, at least not that part of it, was not the part to be concerned about, however. Just as the keys rattled into the lock, the window exploded outwards, a long, greenish and sick looking spear erupting through, some sort of biological construct, barbed along it's length and hooked at the end. This hook groped around the back of the gasping conductor, feeling around the hole that it emerged from, straight through the conductor's back. His legs twitched as it hoisted him up, the claw digging in as the keys dropped to the floor and the conductor, mouth open in a soundless scream, grasped vainly at the appendage spearing him.

It jerked the conductor forward, violently, and he folded, crackling and breaking backwards as the limb dragged him in through the shattered window; at the last he found the strength to scream, blood pouring from his mouth as he literally broke in half and was dragged into the compartment, shards of glass shredding his flesh. His arms caught on the door, and stopped progress; but the thing inside gave a sharp tug, and with wet cracks his shoulders shattered, letting him be pulled in; Valdis, however, was already acting, barrel of her gun aimed between the conductor's agonized and pleading eyes. She fired.

He jerked, the back of his head and the lower part of his face exploding, spattering blood and brain matter; the thing gripping him shrieked; she must have hit it as well. She lifted a foot and awkwardly kicked the sliding door, knocking it off track and shearing the lock, she kicked it again and then ducked as a second claw shot through the window towards her; it withdrew and caught on the door, yanking it inwards with a shrill sound of rage from the creature within, it was ripped completely off its tracks and into the compartment.

She was firing even as she processed the vaguely insectoid mass in the compartment, putting a bullet straight through one of the bulbous eyes in the triangular face. Shrieking, it fell back a bit, and revealed one of the previous inhabitants of the compartment, missing from the waist upwards; just a pair of legs oozing blood. She fired again, missing the next two shots completely, but the third took it in the head again; it was trying to cover the damage with it's claws, thankfully, because Valdis didn't know if she could dodge it again if it went for her. Another two bullets had it falling back, back through the hole in the wall of the compartment where it had come through the window.

It didn't pass through outside completely though, something danging underneath it; hands scrambling at the carapace above it. Firing again, Valdis blanched as the insectoid thing reared back; below dangled a woman, attached by a tube like structure to the creature, blood pouring from where it disappeared beneath her hiked up skirts; her grotesquely distended belly squirming visibly as she moaned, rutting herself against the creature.

#my writing #Ghost Light

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asma-al-husna · 3 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

7 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 3 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

5 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 4 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

11 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 4 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

21 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 4 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

And Allah knows best.

16 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 5 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

6 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 5 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

No matter your temper, everyone can practice developing forbearance. The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said to Ashajj ‘Abdu’l-Qays: You have two qualities which Allah loves: forbearance and steadiness. [Muslim] Is it forbearance when you let it slide once or twice but explode the third time because you have so much rancour inside you? Many relationships get destroyed because of moments of rage. Hilm is when you’re in a position to show your anger but still hold it back. How? Let Al-Haleem inspire you. Another way is to simulate forbearance for the sake of Al-Haleem, even though you feel enraged. Tell yourself: I’m suppressing my anger because I love Him and seek His Love, because I want to be close to Him, and because I would like to obey His messenger.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

24 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 5 years

Text

Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene

This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing).

Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment?

The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah

A beautiful similitude: parents and children

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice.

2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah.

3. Show a good example to a sinful person.

4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah.

5. Make dua for hilm.

Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger.

13 notes · View notes

asma-al-husna · 6 years

Photo

Allah’s name Al-Haleem— The Most Forbearing, The Calm Abiding, The Most Kind and Gentle— occurs eleven times in the Quran. He is the One who keeps on bestowing blessings, both visible and hidden, even though we disobey Him. Al-Haleem can punish us instantly, yet how often He grants us respite in a mild and serene manner, giving us the chance to turn back to Him! Most Forbearing, Calm Abiding, Most Kind and Serene Haleem comes from the root Haa-laam-meem, which points three main meanings. The first main meaning is to be forbearing, lenient and to be forgiving and the second is to be calm and serene. The third main meaning is to be not hasty and exhibit moderation. This root appears 21 times in the Quran in two derived forms. Examples of these forms are ahlaamin (dreams), al-huluma (puberty), ahlaamuhum (their minds), and haleemin (forbearing). Linguistically, the concept of hilm refers to the patience that arises from a sense of deep serenity and lenience and the concept of sabr points to the patience that arises by self-restraint and enduring something without complaint. Al-Haleem: . . . observes disobedience to Him, yet anger doesn’t incite Him, nor does wrath seize Him, nor do haste and recklessness move Him to rush to take vengeance even though He’s utterly capable of doing that. [Al-Ghazali] Al-Haleem Himself says: If you loan Allah a goodly loan, He will multiply it for you and forgive you. And Allah is Most Appreciative and Forbearing [Quran, 64:17]. . . And Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. [Quran, 2:225] Why does Al-Haleem delay punishment? Al-Haleem Himself says: And if Allah were to punish people for what they have earned, He would not leave upon the earth any creature. But He gives them respite for a specified term. [Quran, 35:45] Al-Haleem can delay a punishment to give you time to return to Him, seek His forgiveness, and change your ways, because He is forbearing. He can even cancel your punishment altogether. Isn’t Al-Haleem acting out His love for us in an amazing way? The hilm of people versus the hilm of Allah Imagine that you got caught doing something bad, but the person let’s it slide and doesn’t punish you or embarrass you. Would you feel embarrassment, relief, and gratitude, telling them you’re not going to do it again and be grateful for their forbearance? What about Allah? Every single day we do things we shouldn’t, and in most instances He lets it go. Because He is Al-Haleem, His hilm is far above any forbearance a human being can ever show. A beautiful similitude: parents and children The parental system teaches us about Al-Haleem; the father and mother don’t have any rancour or hatred towards their children. In fact, they’re ready to sacrifice everything for their happiness. In this context Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: Some prisoners were brought to the Messenger of Allah, and there was a woman among the prisoners who was searching (for her child). When she found her child she embraced him and put him to her breast. The Messenger of Allah said to us, ‘Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire? We said, No, by Allah, not if she is able not to. The Messenger of Allah said, Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child. [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim] Who imbedded the great mercy and tenderness in a loving mother’s heart? Allah Al-Haleem. How Can You Live by This Name? 1. Be forbearing to others: contemplate and practice. No matter your temper, everyone can practice developing forbearance. The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said to Ashajj ‘Abdu’l-Qays: You have two qualities which Allah loves: forbearance and steadiness. [Muslim] Is it forbearance when you let it slide once or twice but explode the third time because you have so much rancour inside you? Many relationships get destroyed because of moments of rage. Hilm is when you’re in a position to show your anger but still hold it back. How? Let Al-Haleem inspire you. Another way is to simulate forbearance for the sake of Al-Haleem, even though you feel enraged. Tell yourself: I’m suppressing my anger because I love Him and seek His Love, because I want to be close to Him, and because I would like to obey His messenger. 2. Don’t take advantage of the hilm of Allah. Al-Haleem says to the people who inherited a garden but didn’t let the poor benefit from it: Such is the punishment [of this world]. And the punishment of the Hereafter is greater, if they only knew. [Quran, 68:33] This punishment was a wake-up call for them and a mercy, because they realized their mistake. If Allah had allowed them to do as they wanted, their punishment in the Hereafter would be unforeseen. So know that Al-Haleem did set rules out for you and never take advantage of His forbearance. 3. Show a good example to a sinful person. Never be arrogant to a sinning person and try to advise him gently and by showing a good example. Think to yourself: such a sinful person may, one day, turn to Al-Haleem with sincere repentance and become better and dearer to Allah than I am. Only put a person in check for the sake of Allah, so that they are made aware of the consequences of their actions and return to Allah. 4. Be grateful for the hilm of Allah. Just like you would be grateful to anyone who overlooks your faults and mistakes, recognize the extreme and intense forbearance of Al-Haleem towards you and return to Him after you sin. And as a way of being thankful to al-Haleem for His forbearance, remember to train yourself to be forbearing. 5. Make dua for hilm. Make dua to Al-Haleem, asking Him for His forbearance for yourself and your loved ones. And ask Him to forgive you, because only He can protect you from His justified anger. O Allah Al-Haleem, we know You are the Most Forbearing and You delay and cancel Your Punishment with great Wisdom. Protect us from taking advantage of Your Hilm by persisting in bad deeds, aid us to return to You after we sin, adorn us with gratitude for Your Forbearance and patience in hardships, make us of those who are forbearing and kind to others, never be arrogant and help us to develop hilm in times of anger, ameen!

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