#I feel like it kind of gave life to cal a bit

[apt502-if]

Apartment 502 social media series 1/?: Cal/Calliope Dawson

Some things in Cal's IG: a picture of a stray cat they found on their way home from work. they sent a picture to rainn who promptly demanded to know the location of the cat so rainn can adopt him (poor kitty disappeared). a selfie taken to prove they can take selfies (since L doesn't agree).

Calliope: A picture of f!Taren (cal's gender-selectable partner). A photo of them sharing drinks with fellow teachers after work.

Cal: A photo of m!L (black jacket) and Cal who pretended to drink from the river for the sake of the photo. (Cal promptly took a shower the minute they got home).

they keep their instagram private so their students don't follow it, and their bio is a joke from a student who sent it to them through email. Cal found it so funny that they began to use it for everything, even though everyone agrees it's...literally not that funny.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being another displaced Padawan with Cal Kestis

Cal Kestis x jedi!reader

warnings: angst, STAR WARS JEDI SURVIVOR SPOILERS

a/n:

prompt:

you and cal went way back

like, jedi padawan back

so after the purge, about five years later, you guys reunited by chance. thanks to cere junda, no less

and, god, seeing someone so familiar after trying to get by on your own, someone who knew the feeling of the trajectory of your life being thrown off before you were ready, that wasn’t easy to come by

“you’re here” -cal

“i’m here” -you

“we survived” -cal

“just barely” -you

cere was delighted that the two of you could have lifted each other’s spirits so much, which was very much needed in desperate times, as you two were just given a very important mission by a former jedi master in your order

you and cal kicked some serious ass together, helping one another relearn old lessons your masters had taught during your youth

“i think running across walls was the hardest thing i was ever taught” -you

“it took me forever to get that right! i could only get two steps in before i plummeted to the floor!” -cal

you shared a lot of stories and emotions during travels, in private

and not all of them were positive, but this was the first chance you’d had in five years to face these emotions, to air out your feelings

“do you miss the clones? i was so fond of our battalion, they were always so kind to me” -you

“i think…i think that was the worst part. the people who defended us in battle, gave me pep talks before training, always there, that same face at every turn suddenly behind the blaster that was meant to put me down” -cal

“i miss them” -you

cal and you had your missions together…and separately. you’d be on one planet and he on the other, trying to race the empire and inquisitors to the holocron

“it could happen all over again” -you

“it could be the key to saving the galaxy” -cal

“or we’d be creating a generational tragedy” -you

“so would the empire” -cal

“you’ve got me there” -you

cal gifting you ponchos from his travels (lol)

“any chance you like pink?” -cal

“well…” -you

braving zeffo alone while you knew cal was somewhere far more dangerous, you had a bad feeling about it

but your teachings from the order were always the same, no attachment. mission first, feelings second…no, last

but on cal’s adventure, he found merrin, a nightsister from dathomir

you hadn’t seen any nightsisters since ventress, which did happen to make you feel a bit off

“cal…you sure?” -you

“trust me, y/n. things have changed. merrin is just like us” -cal

“cal told me much about you. another survivor. a pleasure” -merrin

you and merrin grew quite close actually

she was truly spectacular, and swapping stories with her was sort of educational

“wait…the jedi responsible for the nightsister genocide? you said lightsabers, plural? how many?” -you

“four” -merrin

“two green, two blue?” -you

“precisely. how did you know?” -merrin

“hang on, no way—” -cal

“my master killed him shortly before we were split up…when the clones turned” -you

“grevious? really? master kenobi finally got him?” -cal

“who is this ‘grevious?’” -merrin

“general grevious, he was a separatist general—a cyborg. he wasn’t a jedi, he stole lightsabers from his kills. he ordered the attack on your home” -cal

“i’m so sorry, merrin” -you

you three were still healing from many scars, but doing it together was much more achievable than trying alone

it was a wonder you even made it to fortress inquisitorius

you, cal, cere. all three of you fought like hell to save those kids.

now, cal and you, you two had much different perspectives than say, cere or trilla

displaced padawans. little guidance. cal was barely old enough to even be a padawan learner, but times were desperate and the order called upon the youngling to start quite early. you were in a similar boat. it made you two see eye to eye better than most

trilla, a padawan with much more training and insight, one who was failed by the order that she was most loyal to. failed by her own master.

cere, a devout jedi master who failed many people who were counting on her. who lost herself to a side of herself that every jedi is supposed to fight.

and just before any resolution could come of all of you together, the famed and feared darth vader showed himself

and the sinking feeling you felt before he arrived froze you

“what is it, y/n? y/n?” -cere

*ominous breathing sounds*

you shook off the feeling, fleeing instead

cal and you were split up when you swore vader made a point to hold you back

“run cal! get out of here!” -you

“y/n l/n, i was hoping i would see you” -vader “where is obi-wan?!”

“i thought you were dead” -you

“is that what he told you?” -vader

“you’re going to kill me to get back at him? i haven’t seen him since the purge, anakin! i left!” -you

“there is no anakin!” -vader “did you leave, or did he leave you?”

“are you just going to let cal get away?” -you

“he can’t get far” -vader

“my journey is not important to you” -you

“you are like me, y/n. obi-wan failed us. these inquisitors are weak, impressionable, disposable. but i know how you think. i know how he thinks. i give you the opportunity to join me. fight with me.” -vader

“i saw the holotapes, anakin. i saw what you did to the younglings and i will not let you do it again. we are not alike, obi-wan did not fail me. i took a page out of ahsoka’s book, i found my own path. and it is not beside you.” -you

“this is not over, y/n. i trust you’ll find your way out” -vader, force pushing you off a ledge

you did find you way back out and merrin was quick to save you before going back for cal

you were left completely unharmed, as well, which was quite the surprise to everyone else

“what happened back there, y/n?” -cal

“nothing i’d like to relive” -you

cal nodded and let it go, focusing on the holocron floating before you all

your mind kept replaying memories as they discussed what to do with it

memories of anakin’s massacre. vader’s speech. younglings you couldn’t save. luke and leia somewhere across the galaxy. the inquisitors.

“destroy it.” -you

in one quick swipe, cal took his lightsaber to the glowing blue cube. no questions asked

and from there on, it was no longer about the order. you remembered why you left in the first place. the purge, the politics, your master couldn’t contain himself. your troops turned their blasters on you. everything you were taught was bantha fodder. and you were just a padawan

it was now about disassembling. scaring the people in power while giving the little guy some hope.

“this is a much better gig than obi-wan playing by the rules” -you

“from what you told me, him and anakin never played by the rules” -cal

the name made you shudder, but you pushed past it

“well, anakin was known as the rulebreaker. obi-wan always tried to reel him in. but, i’ve noticed a rule or two that master kenobi had bent” -you

“anakin has a padawan too, right?” -cal

“he did. she was also a rule breaker. when she left the order, i almost followed her. last i heard, she went to mandalore with half of the 501st. i, uh—” -you

“right…” -cal

you were still haunted from the encounter on nurr. still hadn’t told cal and it was eating you up inside.

but the fighting made it feel better

dismantling, stealing, helping

and then merrin left. and cere. and greez settled down. and you and cal were just two makeshift jedi knights with your tragic pasts and your need to keep your place in the galaxy

and keep each other close

but not too close

those rules you followed, the one’s obi-wan followed, you threw them out a long time ago. the jedi order was corrupt. you examined each council master postmortem and decided that they were all flawed despite their rank. you hated them for it.

but decided the one teaching you would follow would be to lose hate, a step to the dark side.

you didn’t really even know at this point, what was the difference between right and wrong anymore

cal and you continued fighting. joined up with saw gerrera. never left each other’s sides

which…sparked feelings you’d never really been taught or told how to deal with

only aversion, really. but it wasn’t like you didn’t really talk about it

“i don’t really see the problem with it. look at everything else we do, that’s not exactly the jedi way” -you

“it’s dangerous” -cal

“love is dangerous?” -you

“attachment is” -cal

“i figured you already had attachments. we were all a crew before this” -you

“i let them all go” -cal

“and you’d let me go?” -you

you began constantly questioning these ways and trying to fight for a new future with cal, without pressing too hard

but it was hard to ignore those feelings and harder to constantly be denied by your old life

and it was harder when the new crew always teased you two

“come on, kestis. if you don’t, i will” -gabs

“yeah, just go for it. who’s it hurting?” -bravo

“i’m just not ready to go there” -cal

you were more bothered than you let on

but you always put the mission first

up until your trip back to coruscant

“this is just a reminder of how little it all matters now. there’s no one left.” -you

“that’s why it matters” -cal

the intensity of this mission made it so it was just the two of you again

and maybe that would spark something…but you doubted it

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @gabile18 // @sweetjedi // @retvenkos // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @dontyousassmeok // @dindjarinsspouse // @zoeyserpentluck // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @sheridans-dynamos // @lady-violet // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @ruvaakke // @simp-legend // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @your-local-simp0 // @elenavampire21 // @pheonixfire777 //

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

Do you have any thoughts about Rolan finding out his human female crush genuinely thinks he hates her even now? Thanks!

So, this is less thoughts, more of a One Shot kind of thing I hope that's okay? This was the only way I could get my ideas/thoughts to be somewhat coherent!

Rolan had always been a bit of a prickly person, people were not quick to warm to him due to his outwardly sassy and confrontational nature at times, even his deep thick voice made him sound constantly annoyed, not to mention the constant furrow of his brow that gave off the aura of pure annoyance. His siblings Cal and Lia were subject to a lot of his rants, they knew better to know he never meant it in an angry way, he just felt his emotions far too intensely and did not know how to convey them properly.

When Rolan had hired his new human assistant at sorcerers sundries he thought she was beautiful, her beauty transcendent to him even. Yet he did not have the time for her now, too much needed to be done in Ramazith’s Tower and to Sorcerer’s Sundries, he could not let himself be distracted by such a paltry reason as an attractive assistant. Rolan would keep her at arm’s length, not overly engaging with her, giving one word answers as she brought him supper or the tomes he had requested. Unbeknownst to her he would watch from afar, his affection growing deeper each day as he was transfixed upon her form, growing even fonder as he learned of her intelligence and capabilities, organising the staff in the shop without being told what to do, re arranging the extensive library to make it even more efficient. These were things that Rolan hadn’t even asked for, yet they made his life so much easier as the transition period of his leadership was taking place.

It was not as if she had not tried to gain Rolan’s friendship, she tried talking to him when she attended his needs in his study, throwing herself into her work hoping he would notice and praise her, alas it was not so. Each curt dismissal and one word answer to her friendly exchanges made her sadder each day, slowly making her feel like he resented her appearance in his tower and that he genuinely disliked her. The weeks would draw on and she would return the energy that Rolan was giving her, something that he would not notice as he threw himself further into his work now that it was nearing its end, wanting to reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

Once the final stages of the takeover of Sorcerer’s Sundries had been completed, it was decided that its entire staff would celebrate all their hard work at the local tavern, it was something that they had all earned at this point. Rolan would walk in with his siblings to celebrate, now finally free to speak to his enrapturing assistant, he sought her out in the crowd and attempted to walk over to her and catch her eye. She would not return this feeling and made a point to walk away, her thoughts were that he hated her anyway so whatever he wanted would not be good, plus she did not want him to ruin her night of fun now that she finally had a day off.

Rolan stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the look on her face and walk away, confused at the reaction, he was not aware that he had done anything to offend her, he had been polite and gentlemanly to her hadn’t he? Turning to face Cal and Lia with a confused face as he saw them giggling to each other, he knew they were good friends with her so he wanted their opinion, yet was shocked to see their reaction, why would they be laughing?

“Oh do share what is ever so funny won’t you” His voice curt and annoyed at their teasing of him, crossing his arms over his chest in frustration, he had told them of his plan to speak to her on the way to the tavern so why would they mock him for being rejected now is what he asked himself.

Lia was the one to speak, controlling the giggle in her tone. “You do know she thinks you hate her right?” The siblings were not amused at his rejection, but they had always found it hilarious at how clueless Rolan would be in certain situations.

“What? Hate Her? Why?” For once Rolan’s voice went soft and incredulous as his eyes widened and shoulders slumped, desperately hoping that she really didn’t think that, he could never hate her. She was beautiful beyond compare, so wonderfully intelligent and incredibly attentive, he had wanted her from the moment he laid eyes on her.

“Brother” The words fell from Cal’s mouth softly, not wanting to upset Rolan any further, as he could see the pain and confusion in his eyes. “Have you not noticed how you are with her? You do not engage and you dismiss her with far too much ease, if anyone treat me like that I would assume they hated me” Cal’s eyes went soft as he said this to him, he knew he was not the best with emotions but did not think he would be so dense as to not understand how his actions may have offended her.

A wave of realisation rushed over Rolan as his body slumped, finally coming to terms with how his actions may have upset her over the last few weeks, it was not his intention to be so cold and uninviting, he certainly did not want her to hate him. The rest of his night was sat at the bar, watching her from across the room, seeing her smile light up her face as he drowned his own sorrows in wine. He was now too embarrassed to go over to her, ashamed by his own behaviour, instead he would spend the night getting drunk and thinking of ways he could rectify his previous actions, proving that he does care for her rather than hating her.

[legendaryfacecoffee2]

Name: Ese

Age: 15

Birthday: 14th June

Sexuality: Pansexual

Basically the main character who as so many godamn mental health problems and had trama as well :) she is also autistic-. Her powers is not that much tbh, she only has three powers. Electric punch, Ice kick, and Heating head. (Don't mind the names lMAO-). She is just a normal human being who hates her life but then acknowledge it to be a bit better.

Name: Noah

Age: 14

Birthday: 17th July

Sexuality: Aro/Ace

He is Ese's younger brother who thinks he's the main character lol- he has super speed powers (bc he took Ese's speed potion that Fungi made for her lMAO-) He is very ambitious and very energetic. He is best friends with Goodhand and Evilhand.

Name: Fungi

Age: 14

Birthday: 30th August

Sexuality: Bisexual

She is not a human btw she is literally made out of fire (like her body and blood etc) she has a scarf bc Ese gave her bc she doesn't have a mouth (and when it's her birthday something bad happens but I will talk about that in another day ;) She is sweet and kind to everyone except from Olivia (I wouldn't say she is jealous of her but it's kinda the closest thing I could think). She was born with a curse since her birth but I will talk about that another day as well.

Name: Olivia

Age: 15

Birthday: 25th June

Sexuality: Omnisexual

She is basically an ex princess (or prince idkkk) she Fungi's cousin and she is Ese's best friend and loves to spend time with Ese a lot 😏 (IN A FRIENDLY WAY BTW or maybe not 😏) with Ese even though Ese might or might not feel like it. (They might be lovers who knows👀) But she wants to make Ese see that she still have a lot to live for. She knew who Shadow is (That's because she met him before but in her other form which was a male called Oliver)

Name: Olly

Age: 16

Birthday: 15th April

Sexuality: Aro/Ace

He basically an ex prince (or princess?? Idkk) and Olivia's big brother. He gets along with mostly everyone expect Ese and brainy (Olly is in good terms with Ese but doesn't trust her being with his sister. And he doesn't like brainy bc when they first met while Olly was in his other form which was female called Ollina uh.. Let's just say the teddy bear brainy made 7 civil food wars... Yeah... I know it's mad)

Name: Brainy

Age: uhhh idk

Birthday: January 27th

Sexuality: Straight

He is an actual brain lol. He was a mini bear until a shadow accidentally shot a ray gun at him and turn him into a brain and now he is like this forever. He is Shadow's best friend and has a crush on Rennie and tries to flirt with her even though she doesn't understand what he is doing. (He lived in the same planet as Shadow did but he live in the other side of the world bc the world is split into two one side which was the the teddy bears and the other was the ghosts side. And he was a menace to bear society he made 7 civil food wars which Ollina had to be involved to stop it or else they could have added an 8th).

Name: Shadow

Age: 15

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: March 5th

He is basically a ghost who died from an incident and had to go to a different world bc his own got destroyed. He is brainy's best friend and Rennie's Niece. He was actually an human living with his Grandfather (The fearless warrior) until his (and brainy's) world self destructed itself and he couldn't make it out alive, but lucky he turned into a ghost and had a second chance to be in the physical world and met brainy (Brainy mannage to escape alive bc he built a ship before the explosion) And they both met and became best friends. What a good story lol

Name: Rennie

Age: ???

Birthday: ???

Sexuality: Pansexual

I don't know what she is lol. But her father was a fearless warrior who tried to save other universes especially bc his wife got killed and wanted revenge. When she was a kid she got kidnapped but escaped luckily and had to live with her sisters until they went on separate ways (Yes she had three sisters, two older ones who I will talk about I'm another day and one younger one called Star who is also Shadow's mother, but unfortunately she and her husband got killed). Anyway she is calm and kindhearted (GUYS IF YOU THINK SHE IS DEPRESSED YOU ARE WRONG SHE HAD HER BANGS SINCE BIRTH). She has a crush on brainy even though she is clueless what romantic relationships are supposed to be like, she finds him adorable and sweet.

Name: Goodhand & Evilhand

Age: ??? Idk like 1000 years old or something

Birthday: ????

Sexuality: Aro/Ace

These two are actually just floating gloves. But they are both different bc Goodhand's eyebrows are separated while Evilhand's is sticked together. These two are actually destroyers of universes and gets highly respected by most Gods (including Olivia and Olly) but they both love Noah as if he is like a father to them. (Evilhand might be Noah's favorite bc he doesn't hesitate to do anything to anyone who makes him or himself annoyed). They both have an army of hand that could they could call in a second, Evilhand has an advantage of physical and skillful power while Goodhand is more reliable on powers. (Btw Evilhand is honestly just kinda ruthless and Goodhand is not much better. Like bro Goodhand was named Goodhand bc he was good and destroying universes 💀).

Anyway this is only the half (I think of my ocs basically the hero's lol) I will introduce the others in another time! You can ask questions more about my ocs or the plot if you want ^^. (To be honest I wanted to make this as a TV show when I grow older.. I hope I could make this a bannger when I become an adult)

[itshaejinju]

Random BG3 Thoughts - Rolan

Rolan is touch-starved, just living behind the mask of a talented wizard who is the hand picked apprentice of Lorroakan’s. That he is better than the rest, that is what he tells himself as he hears more and more whispers about Lorroakan’s attitude and reputation. That it doesn’t matter he will learn all he needs to learn despite the rumors and be the best.

Druid Tav trying to attempting to fix the sour taste the Grove’s Druids have left in the Tieflings mouth has proven a difficult task. Druid Tav spending time with Cal and Tai as they warmed up quickly when they sided on staying at the Grove instead of fleeing to Balduer’s Gate as Rolan had intended. Rolan had his guard up around you all the time, golden eyes watching you and your “pompous” group like a hawk.

He couldn’t leave his siblings no matter what, he had made a promise the day they came into his life that he would watch over them no matter what.

Why was your face so comely? Why was your voice reassuring and pleasant to hear? Why were you a Druid?

It irritated him a lot. Cal and Lia were following you around like a puppy, so much so their tails started to resemble the beasts that they would transform into with ease. They watched in awe as you shrugged off the fur and returned to your enticing form before them. The magic came easy to you, he would have to spend hours and hours pouring over tomes to get the spells and hand motions correct in fear of messing up.

One day Druid Tav came back bounding over to him carrying a large bag, an excited look on their face, his lips curled in a sneer trying to hide the flutter in his chest that he enjoyed that smile aimed at him.

He didn’t deserve it.

Druid Tav presenting him with a bag full of scrolls they had found that Gale and the others already knew or weren’t interested in learning. Stating that he could have first dibs knowing he was bound to go to Baldur’s Gate to learn from Lorroakan that he could impress him more with all this knowledge. That he could sell the rest for traveling money if needs be. (Despite Astarion’s disapproval that the money could line their pockets) Druid Tav not noticing the small blush rising to his cheeks, as it was hard to tell with his natural complexion and skin tone only could tell if you knew well enough. Rolan was wary no one just gave him gifts, a Tiefling, without wanting something in return.

“What is it that you want for these?” He sneered harsher than intended but who did they think they were just being nice to him and giving him stuff?

“Nothing? We don’t need them, in my Circle it’s common to give such things to friends they take what they want then sell the rest.” Druid Tav commented fondly talking about their Circle.

“I don’t need. . .” He started, feeling overwhelmed not knowing how to respond just that he knew this was not the right answer but Druids haven’t been so kind.

“Then sell it, these are probably really common ones that you probably know already, I shouldn’t have assumed these would be new to you. I mean Lorroakan’s apprentice and all.” They shrugged their shoulders, looking a bit downcast, feeling they had insulted Rolan.

Rolan felt bad, taking the bag far away and reading over the scrolls in a secluded spot in the distance he could only barely hear Alfira’s singing. They were a lot he hadn’t learned yet, damn his pride.

Ever since the scrolls Rolan started to try and warm up to Druid Tav, listening to their stories that was told to Cal, Lia, the kids and Dammon. Learning of the help they were providing to the Tieflings and the stuff they were unearthing about Kagha.

The night of the party after, their group had revealed the Shadow Druids for who they were and knocked some sense in Kagha and freed Halsin from the Goblins he knew he was in trouble. Entertaining his siblings who had begged for him to show off his magical prowess, the beguiling Druid Tav was watching him eyes shining reflecting the fireworks he was producing.

Why did he feel the need to make the magic even more impressive? Why did he want to watch their reaction only? Why did he wish that they were the only ones here?

The moment Druid Tav was clapping for them a smile on their face, rushing over to him a hand on his shoulder the rush of adrenaline going through his body like wildfire. He wanted more of the touches, it felt good like their touch was made of the Weave itself. Pure magic.

Maybe not all Druids are bad?

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.

[imogenkol]

motion, canvas, change for imogen pls

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

Imogen moves a like a vampire (or a cat) would imo. Each movement is very fluid, deliberate and quiet. She doesn't overembellish her movements either and is only in motion when it's necessary, otherwise she remains still. It was a bit tough for her during the first year she had her cybernetic leg, though. It's pretty sensitive and can snag on certain clothing or materials, which can be uncomfortable or just straight up painful. She learned (well, forced herself) to endure the worst of it when she has to and that kind of discipline has really just refined her coordination and speed.

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

Much to Imogen's disgust, she does have a few scars. There are two blaster burns on her shoulder and the back of her hand that she got during Order 66. Then there are fading electricity marks on her neck that she got from an electrostaff when rescuing Bix. And I have decided that Cal gets to give her one (1) scar as a treat, he lands exactly ONE hit on her, though I haven't chosen where yet. Imogen is deeply embarrassed by her scars and sees them as marks of failure, so she covers them up whenever she can. Other than that she will never get a tattoo, but she does have a few ear piercings (that I always forget about because mine aren't pierced at all lmao)

change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?

After she killed her Master and the Jedi Order was destroyed, Imogen definitely gave herself a bit of a "makeover" you could say. She cut off her Padawan braid and let her hair grow out long (which she always wanted to do, she hated that braid) and of course her wardrobe took on a darker aesthetic, even before she got recruited as an Inquisitor. It was yet another aspect of Imogen's life that got to finally be free. Now she really enjoys flaunting her own style

[neverchecking]

All the found family, all the time. One of them accidentally calls Daruk 'Dad' and there's no turning back. Teba and Saki have Ultimate Parent energy and are somehow the only other people who can even slightly truly corral the Trio aside from Tia. (They share custody.) One big family.

I do like the idea of the Champions gaining their counterpart's memories as well (even if their's are slightly more... traumatising than the Sage's) so it is a bit of a struggle at first to separate Aaliyah and Sage from their past selves, but they've also been through this before. I think Champ would've been a lot more like Cal due to the pressure put on him, despite Tia's efforts to shield him from that. So while it would take them a little bit to adjust, it's also a quicker adjustment than one would assume. They still slip occasionally, but no more than they do with Champ or accidentally get Champ and Sage confused. I doubt there's any real hard feelings about it since they all know how confusing this is.

But also Daruk snuggling with Aaliyah like a particularly feral kitten trying to take chunks out of him while he thinks it's cute. Aaliyah is just straight up gnawing on him.

Even when Tia enlists his help to try and get her to slow down for five minutes Petal ffs you're 8 months pregnant!

Tia just plucking her feral idiots out of the air gives me life. She spent a lot of time being slung over shoulders now it's her turn to haul them off.

Only Aaliyah gets a little bit more leeway than the boys because she's the one who listens to all of Tia's bitching during teatime. It's gotten to the point Aaliyah started spiking her tea and Tia's not far behind.

("I just want to share some intimacy and closeness and get my back fucking blown out. Is that so much to ask?"

"Tia, I am begging you. Please stop talking about that asshole. I will hear anything else."

"Petal. Petal, I have plans for those scarves and Twi's pelt. I am going to make such a mess of those men. If I can still walk the day after my wedding, I've failed and will need to remedy it for the whole day."

"Tia. Please. How the fuck do you even know about this? You are so virginal and yet!"

"When my study isn't fucking occupied, I read."

"..."

"A lot.")

Tia just wants to get laid, but her three are so respectable and honorable and courteous. Can't they take at least a little bit of advantage? Just a smidgen? Anything?!

It's getting to the point Aaliyah wants Tia to get laid and Tia getting laid isn't something she wants to think about. The day one of them figures out how to make like 99% effective contraceptive tea is the day both of their problems are solved. (Look Tia deserves to have her back blown out. With the amount of bullshit she's been through, minimised or generally averted, she deserves this and so help her, Aaliyah if one of you intervenes, you're all dead to her.)

The biting thing becomes a massively running joke, especially after Tia breaks the streak. One that suddenly turns on them when Tia starts deliberately turning it into a "It has been x amount of days since Tia last gave a hickey to one of her suitors." which in turn Sage takes as a challenge and well, at least none of them are biting the general population any more. The jokes at the wedding get wild.

FNOFNF One of them accidentally dropping the 'D' word and the fam just never letting them forget it. Teba and Saki are the parents man. They're calling the four at like 3 A.M. being like "Where are you?"

"...Bed."

"Wanna try that again?"

"No."

They just have that sixth sense, ya know? HOGHG They have custody days <33

I feel kind of bad that the champs get the memories of like...dying. I doubt Sage and Aaliyah take it personally, but like...It does kind of put them off for a second. Like, they kind of have to take a moment and remind themselves its not on purpose. And it's probably a quicker adjustment like you said. They still slip, but it's momentary and quickly fixed.

I love the idea of people just confusing Champ and Sage until they do something so undeniably them that they're quickly reminded of whose who.

NOFNF Yeah Aaliyah is using the Gorons as a personal chew toy <3 bc they don't feel a thing. And the Zora chew them back >:( And the Rito's have feathers >:(( And the gerudo are all muscle >>:(((

Its a group effort to keep her off her feet at that point. Sage keeps them handcuffed <33

Tia being the buff baby <3 We love her. Dragging away the trio like its nothing.

Aaliyah is the favorite and they can't say anything about it so they just sit there like >:(

Aaliyah doesn't even hide it at one point and Tia just downs like three shots like its nothing. Then just spills her guts. At this point, Aaliyah knows the blond's fantasies better than her own..

("I just know he's a giver. I just know it."

"Tia, please. I don't care. At this point I'd be more willing to hear about Cece's Day."

"I'm telling you. I want to be carried in the day after my wedding day. Like just no usage of my legs. At all."

"I think I'd chew my own ears off rather than listen to this-"

"I mean absolutely just destroyed-"

"OKAY-"

"...You and Sage gonna have to run the kingdom for a day-"

"STOP TALKING-")

Tia fighting for her life fr- Like her boys aren't even holding her hand. They're sitting with enough room for Jesus Hylia in between them and her, hands in their laps. It drives her nuts. Like if she can just get them to brush up against her, she'd be okay for the night.

Aaliyah doesn't wanna think about anyone's sex like other than her own, and now she's being forced to. At this point, it's her life's mission to find a contraceptive. She does find a couple (Wild Carrot Seed, smartweed leaves, Rutin, etc.) and she nearly cries in relief. Its practically thrown in their faces before shes stomping off, yelling about how she doesn't wanna hear shit anymore. (That does not stop her from hearing all of the nitty gritty details, but after that point Aaliyah assumes it's fair game and is able to go into just as disgustingly intimate detail.) At that point, Aaliyah is helping to distract Sweetpea and Sage. Just dragging them off to some made up duty she pulls out of her ass.

The biting thing is their biggest inside joke. Until Tia turns it. Then it turns back into that when Sage turns it back on her. Aaliyah comes so close to buying a muzzle. The general public is relieved that their no longer at threat to being bitten, but everyone else who has to deal with these two are not happy >:(

FIFBF THEIR WEDDINGS (All three) WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN FHOFBF

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited said: ❛  it's okay to lean on others for support occasionally.  ❜ --- nate and cal

nate almost always tried to keep things upbeat and fun, make people laugh and smile, brighten the mood when he noticed others being down so it wasn't often he let himself feel down. not around friends and family. but he'd found duncans switchblade recently, something he thought he had lost a while back and it revived the grief he felt for losing him. nate had never known his parents and so duncan had been almost that father figure to him when he was growing up. yeah he was a bit of a hardass and a criminal but he felt cared for by the man, the first person in his life before meeting verity who seemed to really look out for him.

he'd met up with cal that same afternoon and he wasn't as all crooked grins and jokes and his friend seemed to have caught on. "ah.. it's nothin' don't worry about it man," he began, patting cal's shoulder before giving it a playful shake but he saw the genuine concern in callums eyes still and sighed. it's okay to lean on others for support occasionally, cal told him and nate wanted to laugh since he was sure he'd told callum the same thing at some point and now he was using his words against him. damn. he smiled at that, arm wrapping loosely over cal's shoulder as he gave him a friendly side hug.

"thanks man," he began, free hand going into his pocket to take out the switchblade. "just... found this today, i uh, thought i lost it. it belonged to a friend of mind i had a while back who uh... passed away." he shrugged as he looked down at it, flicking it open and shut in a fidgeting motion. "he gave it to me and uh... it was kind of the first thing anyone had ever given me." nate shifted a little, a bit of an uncomfortable laugh escaping him, "a pretty weird thing for a first gift i know but..." he trailed off, "its nice to still have something to remind me of him." clearing his throat he closed the blade and tucked it back into his pocket. "just miss him is all," he added as his arm lifted from around cal and both hands settled in his lap.

his shoulders slumped forward a little as his smile dampened. it also just made him wonder about his own parents sometimes. if he ever had siblings. why he ended up alone at such a young age. questions he didn't like to linger on. his thoughts lifted though when he felt cals hand on his arm, glancing over at him with a sad smile. "thanks buddy," he murmured, patting his hand over cals. "but, yeah, i'm good, promise."

[simpingwriter]

Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot

'Revenge and Redemption

In the Name of Love'

Pt.3

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I got a bit sidetracked, might drop some Cameron Oneshots in the next weeks- (oops its here already)

Someone gave me the idea, because hey, I'm already writing for one of his characters...so let's just do the Ginger King himself. And one of his other characters.

Let's hope this book doesn't suffer from me trying to write two things at once (it will) but it's him twice technically, so eh, maybe I will get lucky lol

Also, TOTK is on my doorstep tomorrow morning, so double suffering for this series 😭😭

Enjoy! :)

Word Count: approx. 3.100 Words

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Unfortunately your request had been denied, the Grand Inquisitor actually acknowledged it though. He saw what Cal was to you and what you were to him, an odd, planning smile on his rugged face. He probably didn't use such facial expressions often, Cal not seeing anything good coming from it…

He said that they couldn't just let you share one room, as it could cause others to start complaining if you got a request fulfilled on not even your first official day. But he made sure that your room was located right across of his, sending a droid ahead of you three so your new clothes were placed in the right room.

And you immediately realize why he did such things, they encouraged relationships for one good reason: Love always eventually lead to the fear of losing one another, to jealousy, to other types of anger that someone without a significant other would never feel to such extent…

But you didn't even think to start complaining about the obvious plan he saw behind you two clearly clinging onto each other. He wanted to witness you get even stronger, more uncontrollable and reckless? So he would, you would show him and everyone else what kind of all-scorching fire burns inside of you if you kept adding the right kind of fuel.

Now, you're long out of the huge Hall, the anger still tingling at your senses, the control back in your head, not your heart. It reminded you of a darker version of a Citadel. But not entirely, as it was missing the overbearing emblems and religious undertones. It was minimalist and sleek, like the rest of this underwater base, passing huge rooms with bridges that made the fact even more real...deep underwater. If even one window would break, the unfortunate souls in that room would get crushed instantly by the water masses...

"You're stronger than you let it seem, Twel-" "Just keep calling me Kyra, Trilla…I hate such forced formality. Makes me more uncomfortable than I already am." She doesn't stop walking as she gives you a short, unsure glance before nodding hesitantly. Just like you, she would take a while to adapt to the fact that you're no longer on opposite sides of the field. You're now allies, years after hiding from them…you're one of them now.

"I mean what I said though…" what did she say again? You don't remember it already, the words of the two trying to chat you up – to keep your attention on them, in the fear of you still being unstable mentally – passing through both your ears unobstructed at this current point of time. You were too busy thinking about the cryptic garbage your new boss threw at your seething head a few minutes ago. Him also speaking of the Kaluk, it just had to mean there is more to the Sith's past research than these damned medical papers.

"She didn't hear you." Cal kindly told her for you, also choosing the much more kind variant of words than what your head had thought up, sending you a knowing glare. Yeah yeah, behave, you know.

You just don't care that much. Really...what were they going to do if you didn't?

The Empire was no longer going to hunt you down the moment they had a massive spike of Force on their radars.

You're now on their side, if anything, they would do anything to have you use your Connection to your fullest.

You never even went to your limits…

All your life they taught you how to restrain your capabilities, not how to work with everything you had to show, how to mute your Force for other Force Sensitives because of how few people were supposed to actively know about your actual strength.

You had always been warned about the horrific things that would happen to anybody getting too close during such one meltdown if you did end up losing control, that's why you tried to keep everyone at a distance of yourself. Especially your loved ones.

A ticking time bomb. That's what the members of the council – those that knew – called you.

But how could they have possibly known your true danger if you had never been allowed to be brought to your limits, not even to document the truth?

"Did you hear me this time?" Wha- Did you miss their whole conversation just now?! The redhead held back what would've become a loud laugh at your silent confusion, only visible to outsiders with your furrowed eyebrows and seeking but mostly lost eyes looking at the two. "Forget it, you're showing me what your truly capable of when you're physically well enough to train. I want the very karking first match against you!"

Was she still salty about the two times she lost against you before you switched sides? If yes, she can have that third match and even a tenth match, you would fight her as long as it would take for her to realize that she wouldn't beat you anytime soon. Not while you're still more heavily armored and carry your personal bodily weapons around with you, no matter where you went. Furthermore, you're much more flexible and agile than her…

"Ohhhh...I bet you are…" Cal mutters as his own thoughts drifted off to a whole different subject, thoughts of…oh boy. Not in the hallway!

"Nothing could stop me, really-" "Cal!"

Having to listen to you two argue about something only you could hear as well, Trilla deeply regretted her unusual decision to come alongside to escort the two of you. Maybe she should be glad she couldn't hear the boy's thoughts, if they made even you blush and be at a lose for words. The elevator you stepped into just a minute ago let the three of you out on the Inquisitors' Floor, a long and wide circular Hallway that went around once before ending back at the two elevators, it being your last path to your new sleeping quarters.

"Do they know that I will simply just not sleep in my room?" You ask them casually, a snort coming from Trilla as she stopped in front of a door, her room. "Well I sure do now, so stay on my good side." She jokes, typing in her door code to make the door slide open a moment later, revealing slightly messy living room, "Don't you think I should say that to you instead?" You cockily return just as quickly, watching her face go from a surprised glare to a challenging grin as she turned to the two of you a last time. "I won't think anything like that until you prove yourself, Kyra."

With that, she let the door close in front of her face, the hallway quiet once more as she left you alone with Cal. Nobody but you two.

"Now there is definitely nobody left to sto-" "Not on my first day!" That wasn't a no to it entirely and he knew it as he grew a big shit eating grin before continuing just a few meters further, handing you a card from one of his pockets, you saw one of the Troopers hand it to him in an envelope earlier.

Your rooms were right next to Trilla's, yours on the inside of the circle, his on the outside...of course he got the nice view.

"What's this?" "It's your physical door access key, you can use it in your room on the room terminal to change your initial door code and make orders from the Base's delivery droids. Like Food, when you don't want to leave your room for whatever reason." The card was sleek, matted black and also kept mostly minimalistic like everything else. It did present itself with the Empire's Symbol in the upper corner though. You pocket it in your bare-minimum of clothing you wore while in the Infirmary – you didn't want to know how and who undressed and eventually redressed you in the end – after using it to open the door for the first time.

You didn't immediately look inside when you turned to Cal, seeing him stand there a little...lost as he waited for you to enter and explore your new sleeping quarters, a space all for your yourself, something entirely different than the small cod on the Mantis or the varioud wet ass caves you had to sleep in sometimes. "Aren't you going to come join me?"

Why did it seem so out of this world for him that you wanted him to come look at the room with him? He looked so shocked at your question! "Because I thought you might want a few minutes alone…still a lot to take in, remember?"

No you definitely didn't want a few minutes alone, you had been alone for long enough, these four years, these last three months and apparently four weeks in a coma, stuck reliving your worst memories just like your nightmares, just as an unending loop.

You wanted to be anything but alone again…

He understood your request without you needing to tell him another word, without having to explain yourself, leaving the hallway just as quiet as before when he stepped next to you, one hand taking its now usual place around your waist as he lead you into the four walls that you know had the pleasure to call your own.

It was…plain. Just like everything else on Nur until now, the only things interesting being the people you met until now. You just didn't know yet if it is the good kind of interesting. Unlike the Base itself though, you were sure you could decorate the few rooms you were given, if you even used them to actually sleep in.

"Welllll, who said I was just going to let you come into my room and begin sleeping in my bed, hmmm?" He asks with a cocky tone, idly pushing dust off the corners he found. "Your dick and your huge loving heart?" "Very good point actually."

The quarters had an open plan living room with the kitchen separated by nothing but a sleek Kitchen isle, which also held the sink and apparently a small fridge under the counter, only called out by Cal targeting it on reflex to look at what he could grab from it for you two.

"Water or Soft Drink?" Sugar, you needed some desperately, the breakfast you had gotten before Dr. Puloria was able to release you from the Infirmary being the only sustenance yet all day. You had never eaten something quicker than those two Buns with unfamiliar but delicious Jam, barely chewing it thoroughly before swallowing it, Cal having the audacity to call you a Cleaner Droid. Well you had, but you had been close to literal starvation back then…

"I don't think I will ever get used to your near nonchalant thoughts about all the shit you went through…" He states worried, handing you the can of carbonated mixed berry juice before waiting on you to continue through the room and into the next.

"Only way I found to effectively deal with the past…" you share in barely a mumble, cracking the small lid into the upper part of the can, hearing the reactive fizzle from the outside air that hit the isolated liquid. It smelled like actual berries, but you double doubted that it was the real deal. It would be mostly sugar and flavorings...so just like you requested. You craved the unhealthy energy kick in this moment, you nearly chugged the can whole.

He didn't respond to your explanation, not verbally at least…but his thoughts always ended up so much louder. He was worried you would eventually have to break from the pressure of it all someday, that that day might be sooner than you yourself wanted to desperately think it was. And he might just be right…sometimes it felt like for every good thing happening to you, a hundred bad things added themselves to your ever growing pile.

What straw was the last straw to break your back? And what would happen to you when that day finally came?

"I promise I will do anything I can to make your days worth a smile, to ease your dark thougths, my dragonfly…" He whispered, slightly holding his own fizzy drink a bit away from the both of you as he gently kissed your forehead, smiling into it as he felt you relax under him, the warmth of his lips spreading to the sides of your face at the probably most innocent gesture coming from his side yet, besides holding hands of course…

"I can always turn naughty for you, if that's what you're really asking for right now." He instantly replies to your thoughts, stroking your now rather tinted cheeks sensually, only worsening the heat collecting.

He would be the end of your sanity first, before the past caught up to you, you were certain at his increasingly teasing yet loving touches. He knew exactly how they made you feel…but you couldn't do this just on your first day, what…what would they all think?

"I thought you don't care what others think?" "Only if I already know that I don't or won't like them." But as of now, your opinion on nearly everyone but Cal has been Neutral up to this point of your arrival.

Dr. Puloria might be a positive…

"I bet I'm a negative…" He pouts with a horribly played sigh, shaking his head in disappointment. Knowing that even now as an Inquisitor he didn't lose his absolutely dastardly humor and charm…you're so glad he is still who he was before, just much much more open.

You both could now live as yourselves more openly.

"Yeah, an absolutely horrible opinion. You- you...stink, Man…" Surprisingly, you're bad at this whole intentionally being rude thing if it was directed at Cal. Even jokingly, avoiding eye contact as you somehow squeezed your "mean" words out, tail calling you out as it went back and forth with avid concentration, your head trying to find a good, sassy rebuttal.

Thankfully that wasn't you on the battlefield, you'd be dead in minutes…

A deep echoing moan from beyond the fortress' walls took you both back to reality as you shudder at the mere idea of a huge sea monster just beyond these walls of yours. "It's not able to hurt us, it's a filter mouth, it's not even interested in the Base in the first place anyways…" Well, at least he only speaks in the singular of it, whatever it was.

Now trying to ignore the moans and groans, you're moving into the next room your eyes spy. The Refresher.

Small but definitely enough for your needs. Thankfully this shower probably wouldn't have to see and hear your utterly pathetic wailing anymore. Unless another nightmare would shake you from your sleep. Then maybe.

"You can sleep over with me, just like you said earlier. Even if you just want to use the couch for now, we don't have…we don't have to share the bed yet!"

Why would you want to sleep on the couch?

"...But I always wanted to know what it feels like…" you claim with a frown, the Refresher left behind for now, nothing grabbing your attention in it all that much, uncaring as you returned to the living room, your quick, naked steps leaving Cal behind for a moment before he even realized that you were already on the move again. Seconds later he is back at your side, closer than before it felt like, head trying to follow your vague, open ended sentence. "What do you mean, 'what it feels like'?"

"What it feels like to sleep in the same bed as your mate, or lover, for humans. I have heard of it being the peak of feeling truly…safe…but we never had an actual chance to test it back on the Mantis, even if we wouldn't have had to hide our relationship."

Was it really such an amazing, almost life changing experience like those girls once told you, back on that Planet the Clones, Din, Grogu and you ended up nearly stranded because of a Bounty gone wrong? They said one of their goals in life was to be in a happy relationship, each with a man that loved them. That sharing a bed was included in that dream of theirs, in their men's strong and warm arms, protecting them even then…

Of course their dreams also included settling down, owning a small piece of land for a house and starting a...a family…but this was all far from your grasp at this moment. So…sharing a bed, waking up in each other's loving arms…it was the best you could do for the time being.

"I like your idea of a good life…I hope we can have this dream come true at some point in the future, Dragonfly." He gently whispered into your ear from behind, resting his chin on your head due to the size difference between you two, enveloping you in his arms, knowing exactly that's what your were craving after your thoughts just now, "I never want to see you suffer because of my stupid decisions again…leaving you tore at my heart, it felt like the worst mistake of my life...yet." And he wanted you to keep him from potential making a worse one...you hear it from the way he said it. Did he forget that you were making bad decisions basically every day?

Well but he did end up finding a safer place for you two, just like he had promised. Even if it hurt, these wounds could heal much better than any of your other, much older ones. Because you knew that he did all this only for the two of you, he went all the way…just for you.

"I don't want you to suffer again either, Cal. But I don't know if I can promise that with- with what I am."

What if, unlike what the Grand Inquisitor said, your anger…your hunger for revenge, what if it did end up consuming you? Would you still be able to recognize Cal through the haze, through the destruction and rage?

...Or would you eventually end up hurting him – no matter what you tried – emotionally and physically, just like Kenobi told you 'he' did with his lover? You would never be able to for-

"You won't. I know that you won't, because I believe in you for both of us until you got the strength to believe in yourself for yourself. Believe it for BD, he would've- no, he has done the same. Until his very last moment, he believed in you."

BD…

Cal is right. You're stronger than this, stronger than your fear or your worries and you have to finally stop running in circles, stop yourself from going back to the thoughts of your worst fears coming true someday. You won't let them come true. You can't.

"Let's go then." You don't even look much at the boring and blank bedroom you were given, ignoring the neatly made double bed as you find the In-wall Closet in just a few seconds with fresh determination in your steps. You would take whatever you want by whatever and whichever means, you would no longer let others or even yourself ruin your chances at a better life, a life even a creature like you deserved. "Wait, what do you mean?" He calls from the other room, starting to get annoyed with you constantly running off again, following you confused as you keep refusing to answer his questions, seeing you pull out the still bagged, crisp uniforms they specially tailored for you.

You deserved to have your dreams come true.

Even if it had to begin with "just" a shared bed, something you dreamed of having with Cal for the longest time, especially while you were all alone, left to boil in your own paranoia eating away at your sanity. It felt like withdrawal of a potent and highly addictive drug, feeling his scent get more faint with every day...

"Wait, just hold on for a moment, my love, you're going to end up tripping, slow down at least!" He almost tripped himself at that moment, stumbling over his feet and over to you to take some of the huge pile from your hands before giving you a sheepish smile at his own near tumble, reminding of the very first time he kissed you, "S-someone is eager, huh?" Of course you were! No more restrictions, no more hiding, no more panicked explanations for why one sat or lied on the other's bed in the morning or evening.

Just some karking peace…minus the ocean's highly ominous noises.

And with that knowledge in the back of your head, you were more than ready to begin your new life and work as an Inquisitor, especially to plan your eventual meeting with Cere, something you as sure of as the knowledge of eventual death everyone – no matter how poor or rich, human or not human, ugly or pretty – is granted. She won't be able to hide from your keen senses for very long, she would realize that sooner or later when everywhere they go, the Ship of an Inquisitor will force them to leave the planet early or even keep them from landing…

"Safe your revenge plans for another day, I want to show you my quarters before our arms grow too tired and your clothes litter the hallway!" He laughs, feeling extremely relieved when you shove the dark and gloomy thoughts away again almost instantly, returning to your old self as you agreed with a huff and followed him out of your new four walls.

His rooms didn't look much different, missing some personality for the most part, but something against the wall, on an end table between two windows that went out to the endless open ocean, caught your eyes immediately.

Two meticulously framed pictures of you two, capturing one of the rare moments you had to yourselves between your past missions.

Your wide, near carefree smile paired with your eyes shut and his lips planted on the left side of your face as he also tried to awkwardly look at the camera in time to keep the camera focused. It wasn't perfect for the photographic sense.

But it was perfect for you. You both were perfect in your eyes…

___________________

[project-feive]

Ranking my versions of my Five based off of her levels of unhinge-ness.

Read more below just because there could be some stuff considered spoilers?

1: NL!Callista Glover. “The Red Soldier” (my own personal AU) This bitch crazy and traumatized. Lived in Red Scorpion Base and was basically a test subject and didn’t meet Team Abel until S9. Do not turn your back on her ever. She will kill with no remorse. Feels everything and nothing all at the same time. Girly is in her Reputation Era and doesn’t plan on getting out of it any time soon.

2. ZR!Callista Glover. “Runner 5” (main series) She isn’t in her Reputation Era just yet but she’s close. Her mind is literally breaking and she’s been traumatized ten times over and her marriage fell apart in front of her eyes. Like girl needs therapy, meds, a vacation, the whole works. She’s approximately two seconds away from snapping and killing everyone.

3: Ista-Glow. “Rookie” (Dystopia Rising) She is a mercenary. What would you expect? Also major parental issues. Has died before and in Dystopia Lore coming back is a horribly kind breaking thing so def has baggage from that.

4. Evangeline Freeman. “Walker” (The Walk) Has mental health issues at the beginning but isn’t really unhinged at the beginning of her story. Slowly becomes more unhinged as the story goes on. Will definitely need therapy.

5. Callista ‘Cal’ Glover. “Rider” (Dragon Flight) This version of Callista is 14. Do you know how unhinged 14-year-olds are? I don’t think I need to say any more.

6. Glass Woman “Five” (Endless Sea add-on story) Poor girl loses her memory and has black glass armor. Doesn’t talk to the aliens on the planet she resides on much and doesn’t let them ever see her in the forest where she lives. If unhinged because she is very casual about breaking and entering into the literal castle of the alien royalty and bossing the king and queen around and getting them to do what she wants. Isn’t super high on the list just because she doesn’t ask for much or anything drastic.

7. Callista Elizabeth ‘Eliza’ Glover. “Apprentice Five” (Abel’s Buccaneers). Literally became Dr. Samuel’s apprentice because her sister abandoned her on the streets of a place she’d never been in because she flew off the rails after her fiancé died. Fell in love with Dr. Samuel because he gave her the tiniest bit of affection. Girly needs therapy. Not unhinged as the others but as some issues she needs to work on.

8. Callista Glover. “Specialist Five” (Venus Rising). Goes on a mission while dying so she can spend more time with her secret bf. When secret bf does she blames the Captain for not doing anything and plots to kill her even while running for her life. Ends up doing so after the last mission of the series. Ironically becomes the last one surviving when she is dying of a terminal disease. Although that last part doesn’t make her unhinged. Everything else though…

9. Callie Morse. “Stoker Five” (Mystery at 4000 Fathoms). Slightly unhinged due to grief. Literally loses it when she can’t find her locket with her late husband’s picture in the beginning. But she does start the healing process at the end of the new adventure.

10. Celeste. “Bellhop” (Hotel Hijinks). Not really unhinged, but does whatever unhinged stuff she’s told to do, like getting into a dumbwaiter to spy on others. This is especially unhinged for Celeste because she’s hard of hearing/mostly deaf so she’d have to peak through and read lips.

11. Quinn (Rule Britannia series). Not really unhinged, although we could say she’s crazy for dealing with so much bullshit for as long as she has. But for the most part is very level headed and isn’t completely murderous.

12. Detective Glover. “Runner 13” (The 13th Runner). The most level headed of them all. Has a brain cells and actually uses them. No inning was unless we consider how the story could end which can go which her going to most unhinged or remaining least unhinged. But during the mission she is not unhinged and is super prepared. Is a bit of a workaholic though.

@catsoutofthebags

[kindahoping4forever]

hiiii! for the fic writer ask: 🍭 💫

Thanks for asking! 🫶🏻

🍭why did you start writing?

I've written on and off since I was a kid (both fiction and non-fiction) so it's always been somewhat of a passion. Once I became friends with @cal-puddies, we just kind of naturally started bouncing ideas off of each other (I was an anon requester of hers before we started talking) and I really enjoyed exploring that creative side of my brain again. I randomly wrote a short blurb for Cass's eyes only at the end of 2019 and after a few months of "helping" her with her fics (suggesting concepts, lines, just generally brainstorming), our first official collab was written within the first few weeks of the 2020 lockdown and I began tentatively putting out my own fics about a month later. So I guess all that to say, I was really inspired by reading Cass's work (her fics feel so lived in and familiar, it gives you an "I could do that" feeling but are also so fully realized and well constructed, it's a bit intimidating to try 😂) and later on, having the opportunity to watch her work, it all reminded me how fun the creative process can be. When the pandemic happened, writing my own stories gave me a reason to get out of bed each day. It provided me with an escape, a purpose and a great way to get to know and bond with my new best friend. Writing became even more of an outlet once I began having some (non-pandemic related) health issues in 2021 and though it's been a bit of a struggle trying to balance my health and creative obligations, (see: my limited output last year), I remain devoted to trying because I can't imagine my life without it now. It's like my brain is forever altered in the best way.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I'm sure this is a popular answer for this question but I really love when someone quotes my dialogue back to me or cites a specific scene/moment that they loved, or even mentions that they've read a story more than once. I really like hearing what resonated or why, that a fic affected someone enough that they continued to think about it even after they clicked it away. It's a cool and weird feeling to think that an idea once lived in my brain and now a stranger's brain is being impacted by it, whether it's that it made them feel a certain emotion or that now a certain piece of content is tied to me and my story in their memory. I really appreciate being able to connect with people in that way, it's something I never would've thought I'd have the opportunity to experience.

Let's chat! - Writer Asks

[calaxgothard]

Under the Weather

Pairing/s: Lomino (Lola Del Carmen x Domino Swift)

Note/s: Canon Divergent, set after vol 2 in the happy timeline where things go back to normal, I am making the found family a reality

Words: 1.6k

"Domino—quit it, lay down!"

Domino groaned and fell back to the mattress, rolling onto her side and huffing a frustrated breath into her pillow. She sniffed in annoyance, curling herself up into a small ball and glaring out her bedroom window; where just outside she could hear Sonoya and Calax laughing at likely another dad joke from her dad. A dad joke she should have been present to groan and roll her eyes at but secretly find incredibly funny and then toss out one of her own.

Today her dad was throwing a BBQ, just for close family friends, and of course—she was sick.

She'd caught a cold of all things, Lola suspected it was from her late night ride with Sonoya and Cal; they hadn't even been out that long but of course she hadn't accounted for the winter weather and had one less layer on than she should have. And now she was paying for it—feeling utterly miserable and sorry for herself while her friends enjoyed all her dads cooking.

"You did this to yourself Dom, stop moping and get some rest." Lola chides gently, tossing the damp rag she'd had draped over her forehead into the bowl she'd had beside her bed. She was wearing a cute pink romper with a floral pattern, her pink hair half done up with a flower crown provided by Sonoya sat perfectly on her head. She looked like a princess—and Domino looked like a slug. A gross, sweaty, pyjama wearing slug.

Domino rolled over before Lola could turn and leave, reaching out for her girlfriend's arm and holding onto it with a weak grip.

"You'll stay up here with me, right Lo?" She did her best to bat her eyes but with how itchy and red they were she doubted it had the effect she was aiming for. Lola shot her a sympathetic smile but shook her head gently, stepping closer to lean over the bed.

"And catch whatever you have? Not a chance babe." She pecked Domino's sweaty forehead before pulling the covers up to her chin, tucking her in despite her whines and protests. Domino would have put up more of a fight if she wasn't so damn exhausted, her limbs felt like lead and she got a wave of dizziness whenever she tried to lift her head. This sucked and it sucked even more that it was happening during a BBQ she helped plan!

She was looking forward to her dad's classic BBQ pork chops all week. Life was so unfair.

"I'm dying and you're going to go enjoy a hot dog, what kind of girlfriend—"

"Don't even go there as a joke, we know how that goes." Lola gave her a pointed look, putting a hand on her hip and Domino tucked the bottom half of her face under the covers in submission. She had a good point and just this one time she was going to avoid putting her foot in it.

"We'll save you a plate with a lil bit of everything on it, m'kay?" Lola smiled over her shoulder, pausing by the door to catch the forlorn pout and stubborn glare on Domino's face.

"...Yeah okay."

"I love you Dom." Lola cooed, closing the door behind her.

"Love you too…"

Downstairs, Sonoya was perched on the outside setting table, wearing short overalls that complimented her short blue hair that was done up in small pigtails. She closed one eye, sticking out her tongue as he aimed a peanut at Cal's open mouth. She shot—and he caught it!. His arms shooting up in victory as she cheered and clapped for them both. Cal was wearing a simple tee and Jean combo, with his hair done up in a half-do with a flower crown matching the ones on Lola and Sully's heads.

Lola walked out as Sully flipped the last pork chop onto a serving plate; two set aside on a stacked plate already made up for Domino. He didn't skimp when it came to his baby.

"How's she doin'?" He asked as Lola took a seat across from Cal and Sonoya who turned their attention to her as she did so.

"I have a feeling she'll be trying to worm her way down the stairs in a half hour, so better than this morning anyway." She smiled and Sully chuckled, setting down the plate in the middle of the table and taking a seat beside her. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with plain shorts,a casual look fitting of a BBQ.

"That's my Domino." He hummed to a chorus of agreements. Sonoya slid back into her seat and the four of them got properly stuck into the food; Sonoya and Cal stacking up their plates while Lola and Sully took one thing at a time to eat.

"I still feel bad for convincin' cricket to come out for that ride last night," Cal muttered somewhere between tearing a piece of a freshly buttered roll and taking a chomp of a pork chop; Lola wincing at the crumbs tumbling down his beard.

"She didn't have to ride through that stream though, it was your fault she got sick Cal, Dom takes her own risks and deals with the consequences." Sononya says through bites of a corn on the cob, eyes closing in appreciation for the buttered veg.

"Not gracefully though." Lola chimes in and the table laughs, broken only by the sound of a window sliding up aggressively.

"I can hear you!" Domino's voice is scratchy and doesn't carry nearly as well as she'd wanted it to and they all tilt their head up to look at her.

"Hey! You're lookin' just fine to me Dom, love the underbag eyeshadow," Cal threw a thumbs up her way with a cheeky grin and she tossed back the finger with an unimpressed glare. Sonoya giggled, Cal lowering his arm as she tugged it down.

"Go back to bed Domino!" Lola shouts up at her with a stern state, tossing her hand up to point an accusing finger at her. Domino shrunk back but let out a pathetic whine, tossing her arms over the window frame and closing her eyes.

"The faster you get some rest the faster you'll be back on your feet, we can plan another BBQ—with no late night ride this time." Sully called up to her, waving his fork at her with a singular sausage stabbed through the prongs. Domino's form sunk away with one last dramatic cry and the table was a mix of shaking heads and amused chuckles.

"What a handful." Sonoya joked, popping an onion ring into her mouth. Calax snorted, mouth full of his hot dog so he could only raise his eyebrows and nod at the sentiment.

"You don't know the half of it." Lola sighed, affection in her tone as she glanced at Sully. He shared a small look, the kind of look saying she was a handful worth dealing with.

Later, after Cal and Sonoya had helped clean up and said their goodbyes, Lola brought up a reasonably filled plate up to Domino. Her girlfriend had been fast asleep, finally for once having taken their advice to heart and catching some shut eye. It almost made Lola not want to wake her but once she was halfway into the room Domino's eyes fluttered open.

"Lo." She croaked and smiled, blinking a few times as she woke herself up. Lola smiled and brought the plate and cutlery over the the nightshade.

"I wasn't sure if you'd feel up for BBQ food but Sully said to just being it up anyway."

Domino's eyes sparkled and she pulled herself up into a sitting position faster than Lola could blink. She coffee in amusement as Domino swiped the knife and fork and dug into the food enthusiastically—Obviously, she was hungry.

"So I take it you're feeling better." Lola smiled and Domino nodded, mouth full of the pork chop she'd been looking forward too and skin looking much less clammy. The food would definitely help, even the greasy stuff. Loa sat on the edge of the bed, tucking one of her long legs under herself and leaning back on her arm as Domino zoned in on the plate.

"Cal and Sonoya said they'd be happy to have another BBQ sometime, Sonoya doesn't have another big race for a month at least so we should be able to figure something out." Lola tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and Domino swallowed her food, wiping her mouth with her fingers and holding her hand in the air before Lola tossed her the napkin she'd brought with her. She knew her Domino.

"Course Cal would be, he loves free food—and Sonoya just loves me." Domino flashed a grin, Lola rolling her eyes and falling back onto the bed. She was right on both accounts, her friends were not very hard to figure out nor did they make an effort to be. Their honesty was refreshing, Lola had enough of double lives and secrets.

She was happy with what they had now, even if Domino still did the occasional reckless thing like night driving through streams during winter.

"Did you have a good time?" Domino's voice pulled her from her trance and she notes then how she leant over her, obviously done with her meal and dark eyes searching her own.

"I always do," she mused, "even the dragging your butt to bed and wrangling you to get ten minutes of sleep wasn't too bad."

Domino grinned sheepishly, the smile melting into something much softer as she gazed back at Lola in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Lo."

"Anything for you Dom."

[alexcaldownapier]

Keeper - The Harder Work

Shooting.

While I'm sure each person in the crew will go into their own pre-production and work on this film, I think it's still important to add my thoughts (because I love adding my thoughts). Each person in this group did incredible work and gave their all into every aspect of this production and the smoothness of the shoot is not just down to the incredible Lucy Gilmour and her team of PAs, but also down to each person running their department cleanly and efficiently. Each and every person who came onto the set helped us out so much, bringing hands, expertise and good vibes. It really was a dream of a shoot, which unfortunately I couldn't see at the time. I had tunnel vision for a week straight and only now am I able to see it for what is was.

Day One

There were some initial problems when arriving on set for day 1. First of all, my Gaffer had to pull out of the first day of shooting as she got paid work elsewhere, this was the day before filming so I didn't have time to find a proper replacement. But I had my lighting plans, I knew what I was doing and I had three people (Cal, Kushal and Sam) to help me get the job done.

The idea behind the lighting in the changing room was to create these pockets of hard spotlights from above that would pick out our main characters and add depth in the scene. Will comes in and is told to sit under a spotlight as he's introduced. Aaron is also picked out by a spotlight, as well as another couple of the supporting cast. One thing I really quite like about Andrew's performance (the actor playing Aaron) was his posture - constantly leant forward, both towards the coach and out of the hard spotlight, so it hit the back of his neck and shoulders rather than his face. I do like the way the actors got to play within the light, moving in and out of these spotlights. Collaborating with James and Ben about Graham's (the coach's) costume, lead us towards having him wear a cap so that during all these top-down lighting set-ups, his eyes are slightly in shadow, making him seem more threatening and imposing.

The set-up was fine, didn't take too long, but the issue came when trying to frame up. We weren't doing a rehearsal for the first take so as to get Stanley (Will's actor) reacting to entering a room with all the extras for the first time. At that point, seeing Stanley in the frame instead of a stand-in, I realised his posture, height and position on the bench was quite different and he didn't have a precise mark to hit and therefore the lighting looked a bit strange. I should have erred on the side of caution and had the spotlight come from further back, but as Stanley was sitting mostly with his back against the wall, I kept getting the hard spotlight hitting his nose, creating a kind of awkward lighting that isn't flattering or that interesting. I should've moved the light after the first take. However, part of me kind of likes the awkward nose light, it makes Will seem even more out of place and uncomfortable - but that's me trying to dodge criticism, it's just some bad lighting that I should've taken the time to fix.

In the afternoon, we shot scene 10, where everyone comes back in to the changing room after the training session. I changed the lights around slightly for this scene, so that they were roughly in the same place, but creating more contrast through their placement and brightness. Moving the panel light so it wasn't spreading light down onto one side of Will's face let him brood in the darkness. This is where the lack of plugs became an issue as the Scorpion lights we were using for the spotlights were running out of battery, so I had to bump up the output of a light I had bouncing in from the corner, which didn't look too out of place, but also didn't have the same intense feeling as the spotlight.

It was a very stressful first day, between shooting three scenes, the tenuous battery life and the loss of a team member, it was all a bit of a blur and I left feeling quite unhappy with it all. I wasn't able to see what Cal was shooting during the day, so needed to put full trust in him, which I also found stressful, despite the fact that Cal is very capable. Thank god for the shooting schedule's days off. On the day off, I was able to go over the rushes with Ben and Jake, plan how we could improve our practice for the next days of shooting. The rushes were a lot better than I thought and there seemed to be more than enough for Jake to work with.

Day Two

This one felt good. I was very much in love with the character that James created through his production design. All the details felt very real and I could see the boy at the centre of the film. I had a very simple set-up for this day, mainly using natural light, diffused and bounced in, for a naturalistic, vaguely romantic/hopeful feel. Before Will heads off to the training session, he packs his bag and looks around his room and I was really enjoying finding these frames of the details of his room, with Will dirtying the foreground, playing around with the soft-focus. I also had a practical light picking up some items on Will's desk, mainly his goalie gloves, with a warm light, giving them more of a significance in the scene. So, I tried out some different wattage bulbs, and an LED one with frosted glass for a softer source.

Then for the final scene, where Will comes back to his bedroom after the session, I was trying to emulate streetlighting, so spent a long time blacking out the windows in a way that still let me light from outside with a large light with a full CTO gel. Lots of rigging, but a fun lil exercise, and I was very happy with the final result. I shot it at a normal exposure, but planned to bring it down in post, so most of the frame was shadow, but there wasn't any unwanted noise.

It was nice to have a day off and then a far more low-key and controllable day where I could get back to basics and build my confidence back up before the pitch days. One actor, one camera, one location and a couple lights. A far cry from the rest of the shoot.

Day Three

The pitch days presented us with a set of difficulties. The main issue was the time pressure. We had the location from 3-10pm for 3 days, needing to cover 7 pages of material, however, the night-time setting meant we could only start shooting at 7pm and in order to get off the location at 10pm sharp, we would have to be packing up at 21:30, making just 2 and a half hours of shooting time per day. This is where the dual camera set up really helped, ensuring we could get enough coverage of every scene. This first day was a bit of a nightmare as we had to shoot the walkout where we would see the whole pitch, so there couldn't be anything out on the pitch set up before the sun dropped. On top of this, we had a constant spitting rain throughout the evening, meaning we had to wrap all of our equipment to keep the rain off. I spent a lot of this day inside a plastic bag, so communication wasn't the smoothest.

Niamh, my gaffer was back for this day which meant we could test out our plans together and see what could be improved. Again, starting with the walkout meant we couldn't test the lighting too extensively in our prep time. This meant that when we were setting up for the first scene on the pitch proper, we had to take some time working out where to put lights and how to control the floodlights. The first training scenes are definitely the roughest in terms of lighting. We shot chronologically as we hoped the rain would stop at some point and we didn't want to have inconsistencies within scenes. I think you can see in the final film the way that the lighting improves throughout the pitch scenes. The stretching scene is massively underexposed as I was wary of hotspots as I was having to light a large area so I kept the light quite far back and diffused. Then, in the high knees drill, I added in more light as we weren't filming in as wide of an angle, so didn't need to hide the lights as much. This scene is then a little overexposed on the skin, which is exacerbated by the movement close and away from the lights, making for an inconsistent exposure and a bit of a tell that there's a light just off screen. I would like to think I would be able to light these scenes properly if I wasn't so stressed for time and could see the frames before they were shot.

The final scene of the day, where Graham tells Aaron off for bullying Will in a drill, was the first time we got something properly good in the can. The actors were in quite locked-off positions, not moving too much and were therefore easier to light.

The pitch scenes became a balancing act of trying to add shape to the floodlighting through diffusing or bouncing and adding in our own battery-powered lights. I felt a bit like shooting with natural light, just ugly natural light that was coming in from every angle at different colour temperatures and tints. The best combination we found was diffusing the floodlight behind camera, making the far-side light our key and then filling in on the camera-side with backlights that hit one actor before spilling out onto the other.

Day Four

We had another day off as we couldn't book the pitch. We used it to have a meeting about what we could improve on, especially in regards to communication. We'd also had to move the schedule around throughout the shoot, so had to discuss these changes all together. We also spent some time looking at more rushes, where we realised we would need to reshoot the walk out as we shot it too early in the evening for it to match the rest of the scene. One more thing to get in our extremely limited time.

This day started off great, we got in and got set up quickly and efficiently. Our first shot of the day was a scene with extremely simple blocking and no camera movement which covered a page of the script. It was a shot I was very excited for, a moment of light amongst the intense atmosphere. The feeling of distance and observation took on a different tone in this scene, for me. Instead of highlighting how the audience is unable to help the situation, it instead has us unable to intrude on a quiet little moment, happening on the outskirts of this world, where Will tries to befriend Aaron. I'd rented out a lens for the film, a 70-200mm lens, which allowed us to accentuate this feeling as the 110mm on the FS7 wasn't quite doing enough to get the desired feeling. Such an important shot and scene was great to get first thing as we had all the time in the world to set up lights and blocking and then as soon as the sky got dark enough, we shot it. It was a softly-lit, quite warm wee shot. We clamped a small light onto the fence above the actors to act as a hairlight and then filled in with some diffused light and then had a harder, brighter source coming in over Aaron's shoulder to pick him out from the fence a bit better. This was one of a couple scenes we had designed to play out in a single shot, however, you don't waste the talents of Eva Magdic Govedarica. She fed into the framing of the main shot, then found a different reverse that wasn't storyboarded so Jake had more choice in the edit. Here's some BTS of the setup:

Our next scene was a big one as well, with a full drill going on, with four different lines of action. We managed to sneak a light in to pick out the goalies nicely and again, diffused the floodlight behind camera. For a lot of this scene, the lighting on the goalkeepers is quite nice, however, when they switch positions, again there is the issue that you can sense the light just off camera, due to an inconsistent exposure from having the light too close. Most of this scene is quite nice, I think, I also had another light clamped above Graham at the side-line to pick them out when Graham gives Aaron a talking to. This was a hard, almost spotted source, which gives nice clear contrast on our characters. Again, this can be noticed when Graham moves off his mark that the light disappears quickly, betraying the fact it is not from the floodlights. Again, while these issues are there, I'm mostly happy with this scene's lighting. The framing can be a little dull when shooting the goalies as the frames are a pretty flat as there's nothing in the background or foreground and due to shooting on a 5-a-side pitch, the goals are a bit of an awkward height that neither frames our characters nor leads our eye into them. Everything else I think is compositionally quite strong, simple, but strong. I like having the players moving in the foreground while we watch Aaron get shouted at, as if it's not a big deal at all and is also something on the periphery.

Things did slip at the end as we were massively running out of time to film the second water-break scene. Ben wanted the scene to continue directly on from the previous scene without a cut, so we would track with Will as he went over to talk to Aaron. It was a scene that was constantly getting changed in the script and I think we never really knew what to do with it, what the beat should be. In the end, the lighting is fine, but the framing and composition is in a bizarre no-man's-land where it feels like it's not really focusing on anything. This is something we should've blocked out early in the day while it was still light as this scene didn't really work for anyone, I don't think, where Rosie couldn't get clean sound and I didn't really have a good frame to hit as the actors were moving where they wanted. But alas, it's a very small part of the film and what we got was fine? I guess? it's just not as impactful as I wanted it to be. We were right up to the wire in terms of time, very much risking pissing off the location so once again, I left feeling not great about what we'd got in that last half hour.

Day Five

For our final day, both my Gaffer and 1st AC had to drop out, meaning it was Eva, Sam and I against 4 scenes. However, strangely, this was the smoothest day in terms of set-ups and shooting speed. It really is great working with people in your team that you love and respect, because we were all pitching in to craft the lighting and framings. I found myself leaning on Eva quite a lot on this last day as I had no gaffer, so was constantly asking her opinion on our set-ups. This was the day I was by far happiest with in terms of the quality of images shot. We did the arrival scene and the walk-away from the club, both scenes that were also designed as single shots, with Eva finding different angles to get more coverage. Both of these turned out exactly how I had imagined them, with the 200mm lens again doing bits. We had some nice colour contrast with the blue evening light and the warm tungsten lights running down the fence and the same at night, with the white floodlights and the warm fence-lights. One thing that was difficult was trying to colour match our light to the floodlights, so there's a bizarre change in colour temperature when shadow falls over Malcolm's face, but overall, I was incredibly happy with these frames and loved what Eva found for the walk-away.

We then re-shot the walk-out and while I wasn't as happy with the camera movement and the people playing in the background this time don't suit quite as well, it was the right choice and we got something pretty okay. The walkout shot was one of my favourites in my head. I was picturing a sense of scale on the level of Dune 2, just football and floodlights instead of explosions and dunes and stuff. I think it has some of what we imagined and there were definitely ones from the first time shooting that did live up to it, but overall, it doesn't entirely hit you in the gut the way it should have. We then also shot a football game, no shots planned, just shooting a football game and finding the emotion in it. We clamped a light in the cage behind the goals so it could backlight Will without getting knocked off by a stray ball and then filled in with a Nanlite +diffusion on Will's near side and the Aputure + diffusion on Aaron's near side. Eva and I just played around for about 20-minutes trying to find moments where Will was isolated, Aaron was overwhelmed and Graham was dictating the plays. All the extras were upset we weren't focusing on their "tekkers", but we had bigger fish to fry. I was very happy with the frames we both found and yeah, I left feeling very happy on this last day.

Overall, I think that there's lots of lighting and camera imperfections or just moments where a bit more time and preparation and rehearsal would have greatly improved the image, but still, I am very happy with how the team reacted to the many challenges that this shoot had to offer. I felt that I had mostly managed to live up to what Ben had in his head and I was very excited to see what Jake could do with all the material we shot. I haven't mentioned anything about all the inserts Eva and I were constantly grabbing of the environment and of different details whenever we could to give a bit of texture. But yeah, I'm proud of my and my team's work on this film. When presented with a new direction, we managed to adapt to it and planned it out as much as possible and rolled with the run and gun stuff pretty well.

I don't think the film is necessarily "good-looking", whatever the fuck that means, but I do think it's consistent in it's tone and perspective and seeing it all together now, I'm confident that we made the right call for this film's visuals. The imagery is perhaps a little factual sometimes, but there's still plenty of emotive images throughout the film. My favourites include Will's close up during the final football game, where he is set out stark from the dark background, all alone. There's also the holding of the gloves between two grazed knees at the end and of course, the long shots that start and end the film. The camerawork also often really helps to sell the emotions - I like the bump zooms that sandwich the scene where Aaron is bullying Will. First in to add intensity to Aaron's vicious kicks and then out once Graham puts him in check. The drifting focus was something we wanted in the visuals, to give that rough and ready feel and while sometimes they occur at inopportune moments, there's a couple drifts I really like. In the water break scene, there's a drift as Will asks about what Aaron does outside of football, as if we're looking for something else to focus on. The juddery focus on Graham's single in the changing room is great as well, as it accentuates his anger and movement in and out as he delivers his team talk (big ups Cal White who operated that shot). I also think the 90 degree shutter works really well throughout the training session, making the start and end feel different subconsciously from the rest of the film.

I think the main thing that I have taken away from shooting Keeper and from my practical study this last year is a better ability to collaborate, trust and adapt. Having worked on St Catherine's earlier in the term as a gaffer and then having a larger team than I've ever helmed before for this shoot, has really helped me to get out of my own head when it comes to my practice. In the past, I've been a bit of a total dick a lot of the time when it comes to collaboration - untrusting and poor at communicating. Job well done, do it yourself kind of mentality, which is just shite - for the film, myself and most importantly other people who just want to work together to make something good. Working with Kushal these past couple years has taught me how to delegate and rely on others, which has then grown to me needing him to approve of the overall work that he is contributing to. Working with Katie on St Catherine's was also a great experience as she liked what I did (I crave approval) and I helped solve problems and it was entirely in service of her and the final film, both of which I really believe in, so there was no opportunity for my ego to get the better of me. And finally, this film meant so much to me (and my ego), I wanted it to be good, so badly, spent so long stressing about it and wondering if I had the knowledge, skill or temperament to pull it off. I needn't have worried because with the team that I was so lucky to have with me, we were able to do it. We can create great stuff together! Each shot in the film relies on the collective knowledge, skill and temperament of the Keeper camera/lighting team. Bring on non-hierarchical filmmaking practice (big ups the Film Cult).

It was tough sometimes to see if it was going to work at all, but trust in my collaborators and the ability to adapt to the needs of the film was the only answer. I think I am now more able to adapt to different kinds of stories and shoot them in a way that is focused on the emotion and the tone of the film.

Hoping to keep making movies like this, with people like these.

"Alex, you can't put a light there, they're kicking balls in that direction"

[casspurrjoybell-32]

A First Chance At Love - Chapter 4b

*Warning Adult Content*

Caleb Carmichael

“Dad,” I had said when we were pretty far back from the others.

He turned towards me.

“Yeah?”

I remember how my palms were sweating as I looked up in his identical eyes to mine.

Brown and blue... a unique blend of colors for eyes anyway.

“I need to tell you something.”

He waited patiently as we stopped to look at each other.

“Okay. What’s up?” he said.  

Would he hate me?

Would he look at me differently... in disgust if I told him this.

I didn’t want to lose the love of my father over something that I couldn’t help.

Those were the things going through my twelve year old mind at the time as I bit my lip and fidgeted.   

“Can you promises me, you won’t hate me? Please?” I begged desperately.

I know I was too young for this kind of realization of my sexual orientation in my life but I just knew that I wasn’t like all the other boys or my friends for that matter.

Dad’s face changed to worry as he stepped forward placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

“I could never hate you, Caleb. You're my son. It’s impossible,” he reassured but it wasn’t really working.

When I didn’t continue he urged.

“Out with it.”

Sighing, I bowed my head unable to meet his gaze.

“I think there’s something seriously wrong with me, Dad,” I confessed softly.

He didn’t say anything so I continued.

“I look around and I feel funny when I’m around… certain people,” I muttered.

There was shuffling before my dad was at my level on one knee staring at me in concern.

“What are you talking about Cal?” he asked cupping the side of my neck with his hand.

I began fidgeting with my hands as I stared down at them.

The panic was setting in at how this conversation could go.

I heard stories about people being kicked out of their home for this.

I was panting now and my vision was becoming blurry with unshed tears.

“Caleb?” his tone was beyond worried now.

“I... I...”

He’s going to shun me out of my pack... I know it.

“Damn it, Son. Spit it out,” he ordered frantic.

A sob ripped form my chest and I let it out.

“I… think… I like.. boys...” I stuttered through my cries.

I felt him stiffed and my world began to crash... I knew it.

I threw myself in his still arms as I wrapped mine around his neck getting one last hug in before I was kicked out of the pack.

“I'm sorry,” I sobbed in his neck but to my surprised I felt him hug me tightly.

“Oh, Caleb,” he whispered into my hair.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” I wept.

His hands cupped the back of my head pressing me further into his shoulder.

“I can’t help it.”

“No, no, no, Caleb. Stop it,” he cooed and was gulping for breath.

“Why are you crying, Cal?” he asked me softly.

“Because you hate me now,” I sobbed in his shoulder.

That’s when he began to chuckle.

Pulling back I stared at him stunned.

“I don’t hate you,” he told me like it was the hundredth time he’d said it to me.

“I told you I could never hate you, Caleb. I love you, with all I have.” 

“Really?” I asked as he reached up and wiped my tears away with the pads of his thumb and nodded.

“I have no Idea how on earth you would know this at your age but I could care less if you were gay or straight. I doesn’t matter your my blood, Caleb. My family. My son and there is nothing in this world or the next to make me stop loving you.”

He gave me his usual happy go lucky smile and I melted in his arms with relief, as I hugged him again.

“Thank you,” I whispered shakily.

Now how is going to feel when Robin told her little secret?

****** 

I stopped walking as the memory ended and I found out I was in the middle of the forest.

Blinking I looked around me... how the hell did I get here?

Sighing I turned around going back just when the sky decided to open up and let it poor.

This caused me to groan in annoyance.

“Really?” I asked no one in particular.

I trudged back to the house getting soaked in the process.

This had to be punishment for almost forgetting about my parents.

The water was dripping from the fringe of my hair and into my eyes.

“Ugh,” I exclaimed combing my hair back with my fingers.  

I was almost at the house when I was knocked into.

“Ahhh,” I screamed as I fell on my back and hitting the back of my head into the mud and heard a grunt from the other person.

Groaning I rolled onto my side as I tried to catch the breath that had been knocked out of me.

“Ahh. Shit that hurt,” I whined.

Propping myself up on my hands and knees shaking my head.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” came an unfamiliar voice causing me to raise my hackles.

I snapped my head up to see a boy no older than fourteen picking himself off the floor.

He had shaggy blonde hair and the brightest green eyes that were clouded with fear.

I frowned at how ragged his clothes were, they had rips and old dirt caked on them.

Big frantic bright green eyes met mine and he scrambled on his knees and crawled towards me.

“Please, help me.”

[wittybibliophile]

DREAMLAND BILLIONAIRE SERIES - LAUREN ASHER

Book Three: FINAL OFFER🧁🌅⛵

"@ To everyone who has been underestimated. I hope you prove everyone wrong, including yourself"

*Characters

*CAL a.k.a CALLAHAN (34yr old): The Infamous middle child. The obvious shameless black sheep of the family ( Until you read and read and know that it was family who lead him to that extent, more like his father). A very loving Cat-daddy ( Caddy / Cady ??). He seems like the worst guy in the whole world, doing drug abuse (never getting rid of it- but that is the point of abuse right he can not get rid-rid of it), using his childhood friend for love and sex ( another way of his to suppress his emotions and dealing with shit) , running from his problems ( on constant basis- not even talking about it). Well that is how he starts, to avoid pain, interaction with people and to have a safe distance from their thoughts, hurtful/ judging/ insulting words and expectations or i could say any kind of attention in case of Cal.

He is a cheerful, full of love and care, a person who people cannot not love once you get to know him. The only point is that he is all this warm person when he is sober, which is not often (mostly rare in his case, specially since 6 years ago when he left Alana abruptly one day and promised to never come back). He is back to Lake Wisteria to sell his old family property which is by the lake. But to his surprise not only Lana comes infront of him saying she stays in the house with her 5year old daughter (who by the way comes to see who is at the door at night) but also to find that Lana owns the house having a deed to prove it ( its a old deed written before our loving sneaking grandpa died). He is shocked to think that the child is his because she's the same age as and when Cal left the town, only to find next day that she's Alana's sister's daughter that she gave up because of her excessive drug abuse. Anyway he needs to sell the house according to the will of inheritance within 3-4 months, before summer ends, and he has to stay at the house for that.

There is a lot of emotional rollercoaster from cal's pov. We can feel him suffering for each and everything throughout his life ( that is life, never making it easy right!). The helplessness he goes through by taking small sips all day from his tumblr ( haha!! i used the word - its flask guys…). His need or want to explain, but nobody ever wanted to hear him out. Even on some days Alana chooses to not to listen to him. Cal has ever only loved her, his whole damn life. HE does nit realize it the easy way, he goes through jealousy and doubts but well little pain in love is what that flourishes it right? She says she does not want to be his reason to get sober but somewhere deep he comes to terms with it. That even if it is lana , the the urge to be with her, to be a better person that she deserves is the one which helps him seek help again and fully recover.

Regardless of all of this, I hate Cal's character for one and only one thing that is his lack of confidence in himself to be even alive and living well, to think that he deserves something, something normal or good or even slightly better than it is. He always seem to think the worst, doubts everyone around him ( with himself). His self-loathing and self-pity is too much to read that it hurts you to the core. And to add to that, his father's statements doesn't help even a bit, and even the slightest of jokes from his brothers pushes him to the edge. But nevertheless, that is what life is, sometimes you think the worst and everyday is not the best for you. (never is the best time or day for Cal here).

I truly hate how he blames himself for leaving Alana, for not stopping himself from drinking, and relapsing the two times he returns from rehab ( YES it happens to the best of people. That is why there are professional help available - GUYS ANYONE DEALING WITH DRUG ABUSE AROUND YOU REGARDLESS OF YOU KNOW THEM OR NOT, DO HELP THEM OUT- the least is you can try once). He gives himself less credit, or i might say no credit at all of anything. He does not think he is good enough to work, love, like, make friends. One thing i know is he loves deeply, whatever it may be, he just needs to find it inside him.

Cal has been my favorite character since the first book ( the fine print) and i want to say this proudly that he is still the best of the kane brothers ( for me - he has layers to himself which are so crumpled, undiscovered, chaste if i may say. And to see him unravel from first book to the third is amazing).

*LANA a.k.a ALANA (26yr old): A lovely old school type of woman ( the only Spanish teacher in wisteria). She loves baking a lot ( just like me!!). She believes in good in the world, and is traditionally emotional ( carries out old customs of her family with all her heart and soul). And to cross all this, to say that she is heart-broken since she was 23yr old is an understatement. A Selfless daughter, sister, lover and mother ( to a beautiful & charming girl). She's brave, an intelligent woman, only to say that she is like anyone of us full of love and care. She has so much to give (sadly does not receive from certain important people). She is a dam of emotional hell ready to burst on anyone ( even Cal, for his own good though), especially when it comes to Cal ( & now after 6years since Cal left her, the only special person in her life is her daughter cami). Her "personal kryptonite" being Cal's superpower to flash a smile and crack jokes around.

She is taken aback when Cal shows up in front of her house one evening, only to shake and wake up her world & heart again after 6 years and to state that he wants to sell the house ( where they build their memories together, spent their childhood , even lost so many people they loved dearly in that very house). All she wants to do is tell him to never leave her again but she can not because of the very reason that he left her standing without answers, saying he was high on drugs to even feel anything they had that summer. She knows one thing that she will not sell the house and also will not let her heart betray her this time to go and fall back into his arms to be broken again… well little did she know right ..🙄🤣

She wants to open her bakery ( her and her mothers dream), send cami to the best school and travel the world. She has no other option to afford such dreams if she does not give up the house. She does agree to sell it later in the book. Cal promises her to go back to rehab and come to her, sober so that they can be a real family, the family she and cami deserves.

Again with Lana's character, we can see that she herself has her own demons. Since childhood she has been left alone by people ( first her father, then sister and Cal and eventually her mother), therefore she has major trust issues ( although their reason for leaving are very much agreeable from one point but she manages to attach them to herself not being sufficient enough for people. One of the reasons she is scared to let people in is her daughter cami, she does not want anyone to hurt her daughter by leveraging her relation to them, for which i am very proud of her to some extent.

Lana is a bit of a negative thinker, she manages to think the worst of all the things around her, especially when Cal does not show at her mother's funeral. It leads to her thinking he wants to avoid her and does not care for the situation ( well, he did not know anything about it till now) . She always feels disappointed for some reason, she feels that however hard she tries to make things right, to make people see their worth( Cal and her sister who are addicts) she never accomplishes her goal. Their actions are always pushing her to doubt herself more and more which also leads to the "not-good-enough" part. I like lana as a person, her aura is very refreshing, i find her very adorable at certain times. One of the scene where she goes on stress baking Nutella pies and cookies because she is confused and angry and misses Cal ( he went back to rehab but they had a fight before that), she also wears his hoodie for a whole week (which of course everyone in town notices. IT IS TOO ADORABLE).

*CAMI a.k.a CAMILA (5yr old): The youngest, sweetest and cutest member (yeah cutest coz literally her tongue would peek through a small gap from her still growing baby teeth in the front when she smiled…. 🤧🤭) of the dreamland family (until the newborns come in, in the epilogue guys). I would like to say very few words for the heroine of the book. She was a bombshell. She gives the warmest hugs. Her winks are the best, she is an incredibly smart kid. I also must include that she is a very good businesswoman (being so young) and cunning. She truly love loves her mommy and dad (Cal), & how can i even forget her Princess Marianna ( she will kill me in my sleep if i forget about her… duh!!)

To say that this was my favorite one of the three books will be betrayal to my liking towards marriage-of-convivence troupe. BUT But i think it is safe to say this IS the best one ( can not even compete) because of a little munchkin who love loves dreamland and her mommy. Also because there is some kind of magic in this book, i love how everyone comes together in this installation. There are so many highlights to this one. Wyatt's special bond with Cal, and Alana's friends ( Delilah & Violet as well as town members like Meg the bookstore lady and Isabelle the dinner lady) who supports her every day since she has been heart broken by Cal. There are two very special scenes of mine, one is when Cal breaks down, when flooded by old memories and remembers his failures while cleaning the attic ( this one was the most hurtful part). Second scene which has a lot of history behind it. Cal and Alana's dare bond, where they dare each other and other has to carry it out ( it is a childhood tradition). Pertaining to this very tradition we see a beautiful ending of Cal and Lana's story. Well, lets sum it up and say it was a beautiful book, which lets reader see into people's life and learn so much (life lessons, wrongs and rights).

Xoxo,

Ironically Witty!