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vitos-ordination-song · 11 months

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Sobriety has been weird. I could discuss it further but for now I’ll just focus on how breaking my psychological dependency on all substances has coincided with an ability to sleep. My earliest memories, going all the way back to when I was a toddler, are of not being able to sleep. It started when my parents adopted my second brother and they moved me to a room of my own. I was terrified to sleep alone. I never had nightmares really, though I can remember that being how adults explained what was happening to me. What I had was sleep anxiety—anxiety about the period before sleep. In third grade, it got so bad that I don’t think I slept more than a couple hours a night the entire year.

Some of it stemmed from fear, little kid fears, which are actually deeper and longer lasting than most people realize. I had a kind of existential dread and terror of the unknown which I still recall vividly. It’s also connected to being unable to stop thinking, and being unable to give up conscious control. I can remember having loop after loop as a kid where I would realize I was falling asleep, and just realizing it would prevent me from sleeping. I started to dread going to bed—it built up into such a huge thing in my mind and I would be nervous about it all day.

Finally, my parents completely mismanaged the situation and made it way worse. I’m not sure why they’re like this but they genuinely believed that everything their kids did that bothered them was on purpose. My brothers were punished for wetting the bed, and I was punished for not sleeping. There was a literal panopticon situation going on where they would check on us all night and get mad if we weren’t sleeping. How relaxing. When I started seriously freaking out about sleep, all I got was annoyance. I had many a long night standing completely frozen outside the living room, listening to my parents talk (often shit talk about their kids actually), until one of them got up to get more alcohol, saw me, and shoed me away to bed. It got so bad that I eventually asked them if I was demon possessed, completely seriously. Christian brain will do that to you.

Anyway, I kept having sleep issues to varying degrees as I grew up. I was chronically exhausted during my miserable high school years. The overt anxiety lessened, but I had an aversion to going to bed—I used to wish and wish that I didn’t have to sleep, that I could just have all those hours to myself. Growing up in a controlling home with three siblings probably had something to do with it; I reclaimed the night as my time to make myself feel better, after long days of unhappy work.

A lot of my troubles started with that awful stay in a mental hospital. Family issues forced me in and I was only allowed out if I took the drugs. Lexapro sent me into a horrible sleepless night. My concentration broke, I couldn’t focus, I felt scared, disoriented, dizzy, and I wanted off the damn things. When I complained that the drug was just making me sick, the doctors just prescribed me seraquel, a powerful antipsychotic, to make me sleep. And make me sleep it did! I was highly sensitive to it, actually halving the low dose they gave me. If I took one at 6pm, I would fall asleep around 9, sleep the full night, and be up in time for my freshman college courses. It was a relief to be able to sleep, even if they were a bit too powerful for me, and I took them a long time after I stopped Lexapro. I’m definitely weird bc I hear that other ppl had a lot of side effects from it but it only ever made me sleep.

So that was where the association of using a drug to solve my night time problem began, I suppose. I never liked the Kaiser psychiatrist so I stopped going even before I distanced myself from my family. I also didn’t like that seraquel would take up so much of my day—I would sleep 10-12 hours on it, and I’d also have to take them early because otherwise I couldn’t wake up. I ended up only using them to ensure a night’s sleep when I really needed it, and I’ve long since run out.

In 2019, my life went off the rails, and I started drinking. I was doing weed before that, but drinking is where things really went haywire. Notably, in both cases, I’ve only ever used at night. The anxiety was there—like, I’m not gonna be okay unless I’m doing a drug at night. Only the drug will help me cope with the time I have to kill before bed. A lot of that had to do with loneliness and the many problems in my life. Drinking would just put me to sleep with no problem, while weed would help me dissociate.

Even this last year when I’ve been more sober, only doing weed on the weekends, I still haven’t been sleeping the other days. I just never wanted to. I resisted it. And I never felt like going to bed, I never got sleepy, sleep was rarely appealing to me, except in the mornings when I had to get up for work.

I’ve been thinking about getting sober, taking a long term break from all substances and doing them more sparingly, ending my psychological dependence, for some time. It tends to happen all of a sudden for me, and I’m glad it’s finally clicked. I’ve been feeling really good, healthy, more energetic despite recovering from sickness. I knew I’d be healthier if I stopped doing weed regularly. But I was not expecting to have the sleep problem solved. That goes back so far in my psyche.

It must be that I’m healing the thing that caused both my addiction and my sleep problems. I feel more and more mature lately. I’ve been thinking about maturing for a long time, thinking about changing myself, but I had many frustrating years where my desires weren’t aligning with my actions. All of a sudden, things are clicking into place. The fear is subsiding. The deep rift in my personality is closing (this is where I could talk more about how weed actually helped on this front but I’ll leave it. Suffice it to say that getting sober was the last stage in the process). I’m letting go of control, learning to relax, and becoming more in tune with my body. I can sleep now. I want to sleep now. I want to dream. I want to have flying dreams like I had when I was a child.

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sexyandhedonistic · 2 years

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hey queen!! just wanted to share a sp success story :)

so i’ve been into loassumption for a few years now (got into manifesting back on tiktok in 2020) but i kept doing stuff wrong and not really understanding it. i accidentally manifested this guy i wanted to like me to STALK me, which was not fun 😭 bc i was writing “blah blah is obsessed with me” 300 times a day and not making up any other nice new parts to the story (our relationship to one another was already complicated) but that’s not my success that’s an example of how confused i was and how wrong i was doing things lol. i’ve known since i was 17 (21 now) that our perceptions create our reality but i had a hard time creating new perceptions or understanding why that worked. so after struggling with my circumstances and the 3D and failed manifestations, this summer i decided i was going to take a serious approach to it and now i actually understand that everything we assume is true becomes true no matter how frivolous. SO my success story - after messing up so bad with the last guy i liked (the stalker guy) in 2020, i manifested a new guy into my life in 2021 but yk back then i was unnecessarily complicating things for myself so i made our circumstances sooo complicated 😭 and for the last year and a half i’ve gone back and forth on manifesting him liking me back bc i didn’t realize until this summer that i literally have full control and no one has free will in my reality. he goes to school in another state (im okay with this bc im manifesting getting a job offer and moving there in a few months) and he wasn’t supposed to be in our hometown in august at the same time i would be, but since may (the last time i saw him) i’d been saying to myself “i don’t care, i will see him in august, he will be home in august” so since this is my reality i did see him in august when i said i would!! but that’s not all!! all summer i’ve been manifesting that he’s in love with me etc etc, and the whole time i’ve known him i’ve been manifesting him having a crush on me just by genuinely believing and even seeing in the 3D (tho for some time i was using the 3D as confirmation which i know now is a biiiig NO) that he had feelings for me too. last december i had a total manifestation fail with him bc although i’ve manifested him to be my dream guy and treat me so well, i will just randomly switch up on myself bc i had abusive parents so sometimes i have a hard time wrapping my mind around that someone can love me lol, so he’d get close and then i’d push it all away! i’d start spiraling and telling myself he didn’t like me and things were too complicated with him, so then of course in the 3D he’d start pulling away 😭 like i just self sabotaged to the max and didn’t realize it until it was too late and he’d gone back to school again. and i like when he goes back to school bc it’s easier for me to see the situation clearly when i’m not so hyperfocused on him if that makes sense. so anyway back to seeing him recently, we were hanging in a group and we got even more close and he was talking about wanting to see me one on one before he goes back to school and wanting me to visit him at school! so i was like okay yes! so the other day i texted him, but IMMEDIATELY started self sabotaging that he didn’t like me and he wouldn’t text me back bc he didn’t really wanna hang out w me etc etc. for almost a whole day after texting him i was just despairing and wallowing and crying over it, just bc he didn’t text me back lol. the next day he still hadnt replied and i was sooo upset, (look at me reacting to the 3D and putting his ass on a pedestal 🥴 goofy) like i could not stop thinking about it and being negative. after a few more hours of wallowing i was like “girl what are you doing?? YOURE the one screwing it up. remember who you are bitch you are GOD and you get to choose if he texts you back!!” and i persisted in that i am that bitch and he’ll text me back soon for like not even two hours and then he texted me back 😭😭 and now we have plans to hang out this week 🤪 just wanted to share in case anyone else is forgetting their power today 😌💜

“girl what are you doing?? YOURE the one screwing it up. remember who you are bitch you are GOD and you get to choose if he texts you back!!”

You were SO right for that! You wavered but decided to take matters into your own hands and persisted anyway, THAT'S how you do it! Congratulations, angel! I'm so so proud of you!

#✉️#success story

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kpostedsum · 3 years

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daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

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pies-writes-and-more · 4 years

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HIHIHI I HAVE A REQUEST IF YOURE UP FOR IT KASJHDASKD i was wondering if you could do tsukishima, akaashi, and kageyama (you dont have to do all of them if you dont want to) with a s/o who loves giving affection but doesn't really take it *seriously* when they recieve it? like they think that the character is joking bc they could never actually be that amazing? (sry if this made absolutely no sense just ignore it if you want kaskjasd)

Warnings: potentially some swearing, Akaashi saying “good girl” which I do think deserves a warning, Y/N having some insecure moments, but all fluffy endings promise!

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji, & Kageyama Tobio, all with a fem!Reader

A/N: okay @lucyheartfilias-wife i know this took foREVER for me to finish and I’m so sorry xD but i kept going back and forth between ideas so this is what we ended up with! I hope they’re decent enough!! <3 Not of the following gifs are mine! Creds to the original creators :)

Haikyuu Masterlist

Tsukishima Kei

If Tsukishima knew one thing, it was that he was a lucky boy. Somehow he had managed to make a girl who was probably made of sunshine and rainbows, like him back and somehow figured out how to keep you around.

Although he always had an annoyed look on his face when they did, anytime the team asked about you or mentioned you to him, he was always happy to subtly brag about you.

“Our little Tsukishima has grown up hasn’t he?” Sugawara laughed, slapping pats to the back of the tall first year. “You’re not blackmailing her are you?” Tsukishima just rolled his eyes in response.

“It must be nice to have such a pretty girl around!” Noya whined loudly, punching the wall angrily.

“It is,” Tsukishima smirked, enjoying the immediate anger that Noya tried to turn on him. Daichi held the wild libero back with an exasperated smiled, shaking his head.

“She’s really smart too isn’t she?” Hinata gaped, having only really heard of this girl that Tsukishima was dating but Yamaguchi said it was a girl in their class so she had to be smart.

“Anyone’s smart compared to you,” Tsukishima scoffed but shrugged. “She’s the top of our class.”

Everyone made sounds of excitement and surprise, the upperclassmen nodding in approval, “Who knew this salty bean pole could find someone smart and pretty to like him back?” Tanaka snickered and Tsukishima just rolled his eyes.

You hadn’t meant to overhear the conversations happening in the club room but you were just waiting for your boyfriend against the railing. To say you were a bit embarrassed was an understatement. And that embarrassment was probably written all over your face because when Tsukishima finally came out, his cheeks turned pink seeing your expression.

“What?” He asked after a beat, avoiding your eyes as he started to walk towards the stairs.

“You know you don’t have to lie to your teammates right?” You asked him eventually, giving him a small smile. “I’m sure they know you’re just being nice.”

For once, you had actually surprised Tsukishima. Normally he could tell exactly what you were thinking but this time, he actually stopped in his steps and looked at you like you had grown a second head in the last few moments.

“Lie?” He asked, tilting his head up in thought before scoffing a bit, “What part of what I said was a lie? For that matter, how much of that nonsense did you hear?”

The word nonsense rang in your ear repeatedly, echoing all your insecurities further into your subconscious, “I dunno, how much were you saying?” You retorted, glancing at him with a shrug. “Come on, I wanna get home before it gets too dark,” you decided when he didn’t answer right away. The two of you started walking, Tsukishima clearly deep in thought because for once on your way home, he wasn’t complaining about the boys or listening to music. He was just… walking.

“When did I lie?” He finally asked at your doorstep, as if realizing if he didn’t ask now, he never would. He grabbed your wrist before you could turn away and leave without answering him, tugging you closer so he could look right into your eyes (he could always tell when you were lying to him).

“What?” You squirmed a bit. You knew exactly what he was asking but did you really want to admit it?

“You said I lied to my teammates. What did I lie about?” His frown was tight, eyes as serious as ever. “I’ve been thinking about everything I said to them and I can’t think of a lie that I told. Was it about everyone being smarter than Hinata? Because I really was telling the truth.” The little smirk at the end made you feel like he was trying to keep this lighthearted. But the topic weighed so heavily on both your shoulders.

You could feel Tsukishima keeping your gaze right on him, and knew if you looked away, he might just get more upset. So you were forced to just look at him awkwardly, as if he was looking through your very thoughts.

“I asked you out didn’t I?” He continued when you didn’t respond right away. “Doesn’t that make you my girlfriend?”

You let out a little laugh, surprised that that’s what he had come up with after that very silent walk home. “Yeah, I suppose so,” you smiled, finally pulling your eyes away from him and staring at your hands as you fiddled with your fingers.

“So what-”

“They’re just being nice,” you tried to tell him awkwardly, cutting him off from asking one more time. “I’m not… I’m not everything they’re pretending I am. And you don’t have to keep up the charade with them.”

Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what charade could you possibly be talking about.

“I know I’m not as pretty as your managers,” you explained quietly. “And I’m sure being surrounded by them all the time has got you having some high expectations and standards for girls. That’s why I was surprised when you asked me out… but I know it’s probably just cause we’re always together and we study together. I know I’m pretty helpful when it comes to schoolwork so-”

Tsukishima started laughing. Like genuinely, throwing his head back, from the bottom of his belly kind of laugh. Your eyes widened as you watched this normally cool and collected idiot snicker himself practically to death.

“T-Tsukishima?” You blinked, poking him a little to make sure he wasn’t just having some sort of weird seizure.

He finally ran out of breath, standing back up straighter than ever and hitting the top of your head (not as gently as he should’ve, how rude), “Listen here, shortie,” he huffed, leaning down slightly so you were forced to look at him. “I have high standards for anyone I even keep around me. The only one who’s exceeded my standards for dating though, is you.”

You watched him, blinking nervously as if he was going to laugh in your face again and tell you it was a joke.

“I didn’t lie to them, idiot,” he shook his head, flicking your forehead. “You’re way too pretty to be as self-conscious as you are.”

Words would never solve your self-consciousness, you knew this. But if there was ever a moment that would ever come close - it would be this one.

“Go inside alright,” he grinned at you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead and shoving you closer to your door. “And the next time I compliment you, you better accept it.”

You couldn’t even retort anything back before he ushered you inside, gave you a cheeky wink, and started to head home.

You were still very bad at accepting Tsukishima’s compliments and almost felt tortured with how much he could try to get you to understand how much he loved you. So naturally, Tsukishima just did it more and more.

Everything you did became a compliment, just to make you all hot headed and make him chuckle. He would praise you for being one of the smartest people he knew after a test or assignment, he’d say you were the cutest person up on the stands after his volleyball games, would just shower you in aggressive amounts of affection (well aggressive for him).

And then one day…

One day you day you didn’t fight back as much. And Tsukishima just smiled because he would never say anything to you he didn’t mean.

Akaashi Keiji

Akaashi was literally an embodiment of everything that someone could want. He was calm and wonderfully humble, his voice was like a mellow song that you could fall asleep to and he had the most amazing biceps that just made your heart flutter every time you saw them.

He was everything you could ever dream of which was both incredible… and not at the same time. It almost hurt to know that he was this unobtainable boy standing near you. Sure, you were dating - but how long until he realized you were beneath him? How much longer would it take him to realize that there was better.

You couldn’t hide these thoughts from Akaashi and more often than not, he’d give you a look like I know what you’re thinking, stop that, and then tell you he loves you before you just nod and smile and try to focus on something else. He’d let it go there, but he’d probably spend the rest of the day with you trying to convince you he really meant it.

But today he wasn’t next to you to read your face. Today, he was going to be down on that court, showing off his incredible reflexes and sports ability, and you would be up here. Blending in with the crowd. You were a filler character - something to fill the stands with and not be noticed. Unoriginal. Boring.

“Y/N!” Bokuto ran to you, grinning as wide as ever. “Look what I brought you!” He held up Akaashi’s jacket happily, waving it over his head as he jumped up and down in front of you.

You tried to put on a smile, as if you hadn’t just been spinning in your insecurities a few seconds ago. Your eyes focused on the jacket that Bokuto was trying to put on you, blinking as you came to the realization that he had 100% stolen this from your boyfriend without his knowledge, “Bokuto, won’t he need this?” You offered with a small laugh.

He shook his head with a grin, “He practically discarded it somewhere. I thought I’d come bring it to you! It would probably make him super happy to see you in his jacket! And you look so cute in our colours!” Bokuto declared, patting your head. You tried to start telling him that he should bring it back and that you weren’t really sure Akaashi would want you wearing it, but suddenly you could hear his coach on the court screaming from him to get his ass back down there. “Whoops! Gotta run! Cheer hard for us!” Bokuto gave you a thumbs up before running down.

You stood there for a moment, face feeling hot as you start to smell Akaashi’s scent on the jacket. How did he manage to smell this good all the time?

You could hear whispers from people in the stands, some people wondering who you were or if you were Bokuto or Akaashi’s girlfriend, since it was Bokuto who gave you the jacket.

All the ruckus from his coach made Akaashi actually look over, smirking a bit while Bokuto was getting scolded. He sheepishly made his way over, trying to seem all innocent to his best friend.

“Where the hell even were you?” Akaashi asked, throwing him a toss as the boys warmed up.

“Oh! Just dropping something off to Y/N for you!” Bokuto grinned, nodding in your direction as he received the ball nice and high.

Akaashi shouldn’t have looked over. But he did. His eyes locked onto you and saw you in his jacket and for a moment, he definitely spaced out. His whole brain was just thinking about you and nothing else and he didn’t knock himself out of it until Bokuto’s pass knocked him right in the head.

“Akaashi! Are you okay?” Bokuto laughed, knowing the pass had been pretty soft. Akaashi’s cheeks turn a bit pink as he shook it off, running after the ball.

You were wearing his jacket. And you looked so good in it.

After a complete win for the game, Akaashi was so hyped up to see you. You had worn his jacket the whole game and he had to avoid looking at you because you were just so distracting.

But now that it was over, he wanted nothing more than to swoop you into a hug and admire you. You gave him a huge grin when you caught up with the team, excitedly cheering them for their win and giving Bokuto high fives.

Akaashi watched you with a small smile on his face. You glanced over at him and gave a nervous sort of smile, noting there was a difference in how he was looking at you. “Oh! Here, you’ll get cold soon when your adrenaline stops pumping,” you said, pulling the jacket off.

“It’s alright,” he insisted, smirking a bit down at you. “You look gorgeous, I don’t want you to take it off,” he admitted with a smile, patting your head adoringly.

Your face gets all hot again, avoiding his eyes quickly, “Alright alright, Mr. High Off Of A Win,” you laughed nervously, poking at his chest gently. He raised an eyebrow at your dismissive behaviour.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t go spreading stuff that isn’t true,” you shrugged, shoving your hands in the jacket pocket. Sure, you liked the jacket but there was no way you were as pretty as he was making you out to be. Gorgeous? No way.

Akaashi’s eyes darkened slightly hearing this, taking your chin into his fingers and tilting your chin up so you were forced to look at him, “You think I’d lie to you?”

The question made you shrink inside, noting his hardened expression. He didn’t like it when you were hard on yourself, always made you notice all the little great things about you. But this wasn’t a private conversation, and people were starting to stare, which just made your face go even warmer. “N-No,” you mumble out shyly, trying to look away but he kept your gaze.

“Good girl,” he smirked at you, tapping your nose gently, “Now take the compliment. And wear my jacket more often, alright?”

You couldn’t help but nod at that point, Akashi smiling in his satisfaction before dragging you off for the team’s celebratory meal. The pit in your stomach that liked to tell you you were a filler character was slightly less intense now, after talking to your boyfriend. Akaashi had such an effect on you and there was no denying it. How could a guy like that be with a girl like you, you would never understand. But there was such an honesty in his eyes, and he was right after all, he wasn’t the type to lie about these things… so maybe. Just maybe. There was some truth to it.

Kageyama Tobio

Kageyama wasn’t the best at noticing hints and subtle things, and honestly, he’d rather if people were just blunt and to the point with him. But with you, he knew that he would have to learn between the lines. It wasn’t because you weren’t great at communication (and let’s be honest, even if you were bad at it, Kageyama was in NO place to call you out on that), but rather, Kageyama understood that at some point in relationships, it was important to see what the other person wanted.

So when he started really trying to read you, he found himself almost discouraged by a reoccurring instance.

It was real subtle at first, and in that moment, Kageyama probably wouldn’t have noticed. But he probably just smile at you and press a kiss to your forehead, thanking you for always thinking of him.

“You’re always so thoughtful, Y/N. I appreciate what you do for me,” he told you, almost like he was thanking a teacher for their help on homework which just made you laugh.

“Don’t be silly, Kageyama, it’s just a milk box,” you insisted, giving a little wave to his teammates before he left.

But it wasn’t just a milk box and even Kageyama could see that. He had forgotten his lunch today and you had shared yours with him. But he always had a milk with his lunch and you didn’t have one, but he didn’t have the chance to actually buy one before he had to head back to classes. He didn’t think he had mentioned anything about the milk, or even hesitated to eat without it. But you had still gone out of your way to buy one for him and bring it to him after classes.

You had even apologized that it was later than he usually had his milk, as if you should’ve known to get it earlier. Kageyama was amazed that you even went and bought him one. He held the box in his hands for a moment before getting called over to start practice, promising himself to have the drink right after practice.

It wasn’t just that you brushed off his appreciation for what you did for him. Kageyama always felt something was wrong when he complimented you. So much so, he had to awkwardly ask his upperclassmen for help.

“Oh our little Kageyama needs help with his girlfriend hmmm?” Tanaka laughed, hands on his hips like he was some sort of relationship expert.

“I dunno why you’d come to us,” Daichi admitted with a smirk, leaning against a nearby wall as he considered the question. “It’s not like any of us are really all that experienced with girls.”

“But you know how to… communicate,” Kageyama explained, playing with his fingers as he shyly stared at the floor. “I’m just worried I’m… doing that thing that Hinata says I do. Where I think I’m complimenting her but I’m actually hurting her.”

Sugawara chuckled and threw his arm around his first year’s neck, fluffing up his hair playfully, “Aw! Little Tobio is growing up!”

“What kinds of things are you saying to her?” Asahi asked, offering Kageyama a smile as the blueberry boy tried to fix his now messed up hair.

Kageyama thought about it for a moment, not having to think that far back to remember an example. “This morning, she was wearing her hair differently,” Kageyama told them, gesturing towards his hair as if to act out how her hair was. “And I told her she looked very pretty.”

The boys just looked at him, as if expecting for there to be more. “Okay and?” Noya piped up, shrugging.

“That’s it,” Kageyama blinked. “Should I have said something else?”

“Why would you say something else, Kageyama?” Daichi raised an eyebrow, noting the distress in the setter’s eyes.

Kageyama huffed, remembering how you awkwardly turned away, as if he had said something brash, “She just said ‘you don’t have to do that, Kageyama’ and changed the subject. But I don’t know what she meant. Was… Was I not supposed to tell her? She did look very pretty but should I have kept that to myself?”

Sugawara gave him a sympathetic smile, “I think you did fine, Kageyama, don’t worry! Maybe she was just embarrassed.”

The others agreed, Tanaka explaining to him that some people were bashful when it came to their appearances.

“But she’s the most perfect being in the whole country!” Kageyama burst out, his forehead creased with concern. “Why shouldn’t I tell her?”

“Just in the country?” Asahi chuckled and Sugawara smacked his arm.

“Don’t tease him, I don’t think Kageyama has ever left the country!”

“Maybe she’s just not used to you complimenting her. Like how you weren’t too used to holding hands with her at the beginning of your relationship,” Daichi offered, remembering how red the boy’s face was you first took his hand at a tournament. He didn’t even know he had to hold your hand back and just had his hand staying there stiff.

Kageyama nodded slowly - he could understand that. It just took some time and then he was okay with it eventually. Now he would grab your hand out of instinct and it wasn’t something foreign to him.

After talking to his upperclassmen, Kageyama felt a little better. Perhaps it wasn’t his words then, maybe he just had to do it more.

But after a week of trial and error, Kageyama still couldn’t understand why you still seemed so uncomfortable. The day after consulting the second and third years, Kageyama had told you he really liked the way you hummed and that you had a really nice voice (he really did like it, it was his favourite thing to listen to).

But you just flickered your eyes away from him, offering a nervous laugh, “It’s nothing,” you mumbled before quickly asking him about his practice schedule.

So Kageyama thought maybe you just didn’t like talking about your singing. So when the two of you were studying, you noticed his laser focus wasn’t on his work but instead on you. His eyes were so trained on you, it was like how he was on the volleyball court.

“Kageyama?” You blinked in surprise, catching him staring at you. “Are you alright?”

“You’re really smart, Y/N!” He blurted out, a firm nod afterwards like confirming what he was saying. “I appreciate you always coming to help me work!”

But you just squirmed in your seat, turning your eyes back to your work, “I really don’t know all that much.”

It had been a week of this back and forth, Kageyama desperately trying to find what was going on. Was it him? Was he just not using the right words? Could he actually be being really rude and didn’t realize it? Was it his face? Was he supposed to smile more?

Finally, Kageyama felt like he was at the end of his rope. He didn’t know what to do now.

“The sunset is really pretty today!” You beamed as the two of you walked home from his practice. He glanced over and noticed the brilliant colours in the sky. It looked nice sure, but how could you understand that that looked pretty and you didn’t?

“I think you’re prettier.” He stated simply. Kageyama didn’t really know what lines were cheesy and what weren’t. But you did and your face just overheated immediately in response.

“K-Kageyama, don’t say things like that!” You insisted, staring to walk ahead.

“Wait!” Kageyama yelped, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you back to him. “What am I doing wrong?” he asked you desperately, his eyes wide and searching yours for some sort of answers.

You stared at him for a moment, confused by his words, “Wrong?” You repeated softly, noticing how upset he looked.

“I…” Kageyama’s voice faltered as he watched your eyes. “I keep trying to tell you how amazing you are. You do all these things for me, you help me when I’m upset and you always help me train. You throw balls for me and Hinata, even when you’d rather be at home. You call me during my jogs just to keep me company. You bring me milk when I forget mine. And you always compliment me when I’m feeling like I’m not 100%… so what am I doing wrong? Because everything I say to you… it doesn’t seem to work.”

Something in you clicked. Is this why Kageyama had been acting so weird this week?

“Kageyama… I do all that because I like you and I want you to be your best,” you explained softly. “And I compliment you because I mean it! Not because I’m trying to make you feel better. Or try to boost your self-esteem.”

There was something in your tone that Kageyama couldn’t place. What was that in your voice?

“Why are you sad when I try to tell you things?” Kageyama was practically begging you for an answer. He didn’t understand how to read things from your tone, he wanted to desperately to understand but he just couldn’t grasp it. “Sugawara told me that complimenting people on things makes them feel good… am I doing it wrong? Please just tell me, I’ll be better! I’ll be the best boyfriend!”

Your smile was almost sad and Kageyama’s heart tugged a little in his chest, “I don’t want you to say things because you feel like you have to say them,” you sighed softly, now avoiding his eyes. “I know my hair is a mess most of the time, I know that my singing isn’t some professional level shit, and I know I’m not the model kind of girl or those gorgeous girls who come to your games. I don’t need you to try and convince me otherwise…”

Kageyama’s mind felt like it was blowing up. What were you talking about?

“Don’t be so stupid,” Kageyama whined, huffing at you and poking your forehead, “You think I’m lying about these things? You think I say them because I feel like I have to?” Kageyama shook his head, taking your face into his hands. “I’m not the best with words, I know this. But you are…” Kageyama’s face twisted into a funny expression as he tried to find the words he wanted, “the most perfect thing. You’re like when I make a perfect set and the spike goes right past the blockers!”

You couldn’t help but smile as he went on talking about volleyball. You weren’t surprised - he often related things to volleyball to understand better.

“You… are the perfect jump serve. Seeing you is like I’m winning full sets at Nationals!” He expressed, looking at you with wide eyes in hopes you were understanding. “I’m not trying to make you feel better about yourself, Y/N. You are everything I could possibly want. You make me feel like volleyball isn’t the only thing that matters anymore. I want to hear you sing all the time and I love your hair no matter how you think it looks.”

Your eyes were welling up with tears as he spoke dramatically, looking up at the sky as if that would help him figure out his sentences better. When he finally looked back at you, he jumped back almost immediately in fear.

“N-No! Don’t cry! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought up volleyball again! I-”

You laughed and quickly shook your head, grasping his hands in yours, “Happy tears, Kageyama,” you explained softly, almost immediately burying your face in his chest as you drew him closer for a hug. “Thank you,” you whisper.

Kageyama wasn’t really sure what you were thanking him for but he hugged you tightly anyways. He hated seeing you cry and he would squeeze them all out of you until there was none left if he had to. “You are very pretty.” He stated, pressing a kiss to your head.

And this time, you didn’t argue. You just stayed there in his arms, and listened to the genuineness in his voice.

Haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

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#tsukishima x reader #akaashi x reader #kageyama x reader #haikyuu!!#tsukishima x you #akaashi headcanons #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #akaashi keiji #tsukishima kei x you #akaashi fluff #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi fanfiction #kageyama x y/n #kageyama x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu fluff

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ticklishfiend · 3 years

Note

Of o were to give you a lee Deku fic, I’d say something where Todoroki is obsessed with giving Deku raspberries especially on his tummy. He’s super ticklish there and Todoroki thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. 💖💖

A/N : okay while i was writing this i got carried away and wrote lee!todoroki instead bc i completely forgot that i LITERALLY ASKED FOR LEE!DEKU PROMPTS...i’m an idiot and i sincerely apologize LMAOO i hope you enjoy it anyways but i WILL be writing a lee!deku in the very near future so don’t you worry lol

So Comfortable (My Hero Academia)

Lee!Todoroki / Ler!Midoriya

Summary : Todoroki and Midoriya are cuddling in bed when Midoriya decides he wants to feel Todoroki’s heartbeat under his hoodie. When he realizes his boyfriend is a little sensitive, he can’t help but take advantage of it.

Word Count : 1905

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!! MWAH <33

...

Todoroki breathed in the comforting scent of green apple shampoo, his nose nuzzling into the mess of curls snuggled underneath him. The boy with the power to control fire had never felt a cozier warmth in his life, the back lying against his chest substituting as the best blanket in the entire world. One of his hands held onto Midoryia’s front protectively, while the other was laced with the green-haired boy’s own scarred and calloused fingers, though to Todoroki, nothing had ever felt softer.

Everything felt so right. So perfect. So comfortable. The bi-colored boy hadn’t known real comfort in so long, and somehow this shorter, timid kid he had only met a little over a year ago now had brought more comfort into his life than he had ever truly known. He felt safe close to him, which to most people wouldn’t mean that much. But to Todoroki, closeness meant everything. He wasn’t going to let just anybody be this close to him, and he wasn’t going to be this close to just anyone. Midoriya had managed to wiggle his way into Todoroki’s comfort zone, and the previously-thought cold-hearted boy hoped he never, ever made his way out.

Todoroki felt the mess of hair under his nose move, tickling his face slightly, and he looked down to be greeted by Midoriya looking right back up at him with a small, relaxed smile.

“Hey,” Midoriya spoke gently, his thumb caressing the top of Todoroki’s hand.

“Hello,” Todoroki smiled a little awkwardly, but Midoriya knew he was sincere either way. Midoriya shuffled a bit under Todoroki’s protective hold, repositioning himself on top of the boy’s body completely, but this time with his stomach down on the other’s so he could look right up at him.

“You’re nice to look at,” Midoriya smiled dopily, his head tilted slightly. Todoroki chuckled, not being able to help the small blush on his cheek from the most endearing compliment. He looked at his partner with the utmost fondness in his eyes, bringing his hand up to stroke a thumb over his cheek.

“Right back at you,” Todoroki’s words were laced with a smile, Midoriya humming in response. The green haired boy leaned down to nuzzle his face into Todoroki’s warm chest, his cheeks smushing against the firmness of his muscles created by years of training.

“I can feel your heartbeat,” Midoriya’s words were muffled by the fabric of Todoroki’s hoodie. He brought his face down lower towards the boy’s stomach, Todoroki gasping slightly when he felt Midoriya’s hands creep underneath the fabric and onto his sides, worming their way upwards towards his chest. “Wanna feel it with my hands.”

His hoodie was now pushed up towards his lower ribs, pale tummy on display as both of Midoriya’s hands rested over the spot on Todoroki’s chest that concealed his heart, which at this point was beating harder than it had the whole afternoon. Midoriya smiled down at his belly, nuzzling his face into it’s pale, taut expanse. Todoroki let out another small gasp at the strange feeling, his hands moving up to gently tangle into the mess of green hair.

“Midoriya, what are you doing..?” Todoroki’s words were soft from fluster, his eyes a little wide at the odd display of affection. He couldn’t help the small tinge of smile on the corners of his lips, however, as the boy’s nose felt just ticklish enough to ignite that nervous flame in the pit of his stomach.

“You’re just so cuteee,” Mirodiya cooed into his belly, bringing his hands down to hold firmly onto Todoroki’s sides to make it easier for him to continue his playful nuzzling. The dual-haired boy choked on a small giggle, squeezing a little harder on the boy’s hair. He could feel Midoriya’s lips smile against his tummy, a blush creeping up from Todoroki’s neck to paint over his cheeks and ears. “Does this tickle?”

Todoroki let out a huff of air, embarrassed and oh, oh so flustered. “Um, a-a little, yes,” he mumbled out in a stutter, his partner chuckling in response.

“That’s adorable,” Mirdoriya hummed, kissing right above the boy’s belly button with an intensely gentle softness that made Todoroki feel like he could combust at any given second. The freckled boy didn’t just stop at his one kiss however, oh no. He started peppering them with that same softness all over the boy’s tummy, and Todoroki was helpless to the small and obviously flustered titters that escaped from the softest parts of himself he didn’t even know he had before meeting the boy.

“Ah- M-Midoriyahaha-” Todoroki breathed out the smallest of giggles, which only pressed his partner on further, his gentle lips now journeying over towards his left side, the ticklish feeling making Todoroki choke out a real giggle this time. “It tihihickles!”

“You’re so ticklish, it’s too precious,” Midoriya smiled brightly against the boy’s skin before lifting his head up to gaze at his face. Todoroki’s cheeks were painted with the most delightful blush, a dopey smile taking over his features,making Midoriya genuinely feel like the single luckiest person on the planet to be able to see such a stoic boy from this perspective.

“Have you ever had a raspberry, Shoto?” Izuku asked with a tilt of the head and a mischievous smirk. Todoroki blinked.

“Like...like the fruit?” Shoto asked, his brows a little furrowed in confusion, Midoriya just chuckling at his response. “I don’t understand, why are you laughing?”

“You’re just cute,” Izuku said, enjoying the blush and pout Shoto gave him. “I’m not talking about the fruit, Sho. Here, I’ll just show you.”

With that Midoriya leaned back down towards his partner’s tummy, drawing in a rather large breath, expanding his lungs as much as he could, before pressing his lips back down on the soft skin of Shoto’s belly and-

“PPPBBBTTTHHH~!” Midoriya blew hard onto his tummy, his partner letting out the loudest surprised squeal he had ever heard before cackling as Izuku continued placing smaller raspberries all over the expanse of Shoto’s sensitive tummy.

“GAHAHAHA! IZUHUHUKUHUHU! NAHAHA! WHAHAT IHIHIS THIHIS?!” Todoroki screamed, kicking his legs out behind Midoriya as the mischievous boy began kneading at his oh so sensitive sides, throwing Shoto into an entirely new wave of cackles as he now gripped tightly onto the boys shoulders (though he wasn’t pushing him away, much to Midoriya’s amusement).

“Raspberries, silly! Do they tickle?~” Izuku asked, blowing more ticklish raspberries all over his sensitive tummy and sides, even travelling just far enough upwards to blow one right on his bottom ribs, making the writhing boy underneath him jerk hard with a scream.

“YEHEHES! IT TIHIHICKLES!” Shoto cackled, squeezing his eyes shut tight. His body instinctively tried curling in on itself, folding forward until his own nose was nuzzling unintentionally into Izuku’s messy curls. “PLEHEHEHEASE!”

Midoriya chuckled. “Please what, Sho?”

“I DOHOHON’T KNOHOHOW!” Shoto shook his head frantically through his laughs as Izuku moved his hands downward to squeeze and knead into the boy’s hips. Shoto bucked at the sensation, throwing his head back against the pillow in mirth, digging his heels into the bedsheets behind Izuku.

“Aw, you don’t know? Does that mean you like it? You don’t want me to stop?~” Izuku teased, before inhaling sharply and blowing another torturous raspberry into Todoroki’s tummy, making the boy scream out another fit of high-pitched cackles.

“NAHAHAHA! NO TEHEHEASES! YOU’RE SO MEHEHEAN!” Todoroki babbled around his laughs, his giggles becoming more frantic. Midoriya thought it might be time to give the boy a breather, slowing his tickles down to just his nails tracing teasing little shapes into Shoto’s sides and on the bottoms of his ribs. Todoroki absolutely melted into a puddle of breathy giggles, his grip on Izuku’s shoulders still just as tight. Izuku rested his cheek onto Shoto’s tummy, looking up at his partner’s ever-flushing face with the utmost love in his eyes.

Todoroki finally calmed down enough to open his eyes and look down at his partner, who was still lightly tickling at his sides enough to keep him on a giggly edge.

“Sohoho that’s a raspbeheherry?” Todoroki asked, his face suddenly scrunching up in a clenched smile, his eyes squeezing shut as Izuku found a particularly sensitive spot right on the backs of Shoto’s lower ribs. Todoroki arched his back a bit, frantic breathy giggles escaping his throat as Izuku’s fingers stayed on that one torturous spot. He teasingly traced shapes into the area, smiling as he realized just how sensitive the boy under him truly was. “Izuhuhukuhu! Nohohot thehehere, ihihit-”

“-Tickles?” Midoriya asked, Shoto just nodding his head through his snickers and titters. Izuku just chuckled, moving his fingers back down a little to tickle at a less sensitive area and calm his partner down a little. “So sensitive. I could do this all day.”

“I don’t thihink I could survihihive,” Todoroki snickered before finally bringing his hands down to stop his partner’s torturous and wiggly ones at his sides. Izuku pouted a little as he was forced to stop tickling until Shoto laced their fingers together and looked the boy in his eyes. “Kiss me? Please?”

Izuku just smiled, his heart overflowing before melting through his ribs. He nodded, bringing his face up to meet Shoto’s lips in the middle. He dissolved into the kiss, feeling as if he was melting into Shoto’s face with how jelly-like he felt. He unlaced his fingers with Shoto’s to cup at the dual-haired boy’s cheeks, his thumb caressing at the scar he thought brought out Todoroki's eyes.

Once their interlocked lips parted, they both looked into each other’s hazed over eyes. Midoriya brought his face down to gently nuzzle into Todoroki’s neck, leaving tiny kisses wherever his lips could reach. Todoroki’s shoulders instinctively tried bunching up at the ticklish sensation, his giggle fit coming back, this time much softer and much breathier.

“Really? Ticklish here too?” Izuku smiled into his neck, leaving peppered kisses again on purpose this time just to hear the boy giggle. He felt him nod, and he knew they boy had to be blushing.

“Cahahan’t help ihihit,” he giggled, scrunching up so much his cheek smushed into Izuku’s head. Then he felt Midoriya draw in another big breath, and before he had the chance to do anything about it, Izuku blew another fat raspberry, this time into the boy’s sensitive neck.

Todoroki screeched, shoving his heels into the bedsheets and grabbing at the boy’s shirt for anything to brace himself with. “GYAHAHA! QUHUHIT! YOU’VE MAHAHADE YOUR POHOHOHINT! I’M TICKLIHIHIHISH!”

Izuku pulled himself out of Shoto’s neck with a wide grin, kissing Todoroki’s nose before laying his head back down onto the boy’s chest, nuzzling into the fabric of his shirt. “M’sleepy…”

Shoto chuckled with a shake of his head. “Oh yeah, I’m sure you’re just so wiped out from nearly killing me just moments ago,” He snickered before placing a kiss on top of the boy’s head. Izuku giggled with a nod.

“You know it,” Izuku yawned, and before Shoto knew it, the boy was snoring on top of him. Todoroki just smiled down at the boy, thumb caressing over his freckled cheek.

“I love you,” Todoroki whispered to the sleeping boy he knew couldn’t hear him, gently laying the blanket beside him over him and his partner’s sleeping frame.

Todoroki was finally truly comfortable, and he only had one person to thank.

...

A/N : thanks for all the support i’ve been getting recently! sorry this is kinda short, i’ve been having a lot of migraines recently so i haven’t felt like writing much, but i’ll be getting to more of those prompts soon! hope you enjoyed! much love <33

#tickling #my fic #tickle community #tickle fic #my hero academia #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #todoroki shoto #izuku midoriya #deku #tododeku #lee!todoroki #ler!deku #ler!midoriya #ticklish!todoroki #mha tickling #anime tickling #anime tickles

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neko-rogers · 4 years

Note

hey!! I’m not sure if your inbox is still open but I thought I’d send this just in case! what would you think abt a dark!peter who’s obsessed w s/o and offers to have her stay with him during like the stay-at-home pet of covid so she’s not alone then when it’s lifted he’s like lol you’re not leaving. sorry that’s kinda long and super specific. i absolutely love your writing though!!💗

Jamie All Over

words: 2,040 (no, i should be sorry bc this was chaotic)

tags: didn’t expect it to be this LONG, manipulative!peter parker, grooming, overprotectiveness, slight mentions of sex, don’t expect too much lmao its a headcanon

a/n: hi babe! i wasn’t entirely sure if you wanted this as a one shot (but if u do let me know!)

so you’re pretty unaware of every move peter is trying to do with you, you know? you were not really sure if it was a kind gesture, as the gentleman he seemed to be, or was it just a special treatment

ever since second year and until now as both of you were on your fourth year, he was consistent with his efforts

these moves were moments like when he would carry your books to your next class or confidently invite you to a study ‘date’ at the library after – often times he tells that his friends were invited, but would never show up later on

sometimes he would bring you lunch. you tried to turn it down kindly, but he insists that it was purposely packed as an extra for when he stays late around the university.

it was a lie though. anyone could tell by the way it was prepared looking very appetizing and tasted just as amazing at it was presented.

and as peter had mentioned that he lived alone, you also assumed he was the one to make his meals. you were so sure he doesn’t pack for an extra and intentionally wants to impress you with his skills.

“hey, y/n!,” he calls, “look this eggroll has a cute design!”

he honestly was an epitome of a walking sunshine. his smile seemed so pure and you never felt any ill-intent for every gesture he had done for you

his friends seemed very welcoming the moment he introduced you to his group

you got along with ned who seemed to be just as joyful and funny as peter. meanwhile mj was a bit more of a tough cookie, nevertheless you both eventually got a long better than you expected

however, it came to one point wherein your own group of friends started being disheartened with your lack of communication

“you’ve been spending more time with that parker boy, huh?” “yeah, kinda?” “are you two like... dating?” “oh no! no... no... nooo!”

the moment they frowned at you was then that you realized and felt a little more guilty. you always remembered that friends were supposed to be friends despite the lack of time and effort, right?

somehow you tried to compensate for the lack of time with your friends. but every minute you spend felt more awkward than before

they weren’t sharing the same vibe with you and you were starting to question if it had been always like it – were you only adjusting to them?

you reached out for peter, considering that he became one of the closest and trusted people around the university. plus, he seemed to have genuinely great friends

“do you feel happy when you’re spending time with them?”

“well i used to but recently–”

“then you should stop being friends with them.”

you were upset for a second. the way he instantly told you that cutting ties with them would be the (only) option

he sounded serious on the other end of the line and you were just speechless for a moment. the dead air between lines was evident, but you didn’t know what to say

“sorry,” peter makes up, “i didn’t mean to sound too serious. i just don’t like people who are rude, especially to you.”

“oh, it’s fine. i totally get it.” you felt a batch of butterflies around your stomach. someone actually cared for you!!!

the moment you didn’t hesitate on losing your friendship with your past friends and moved on with joining peter’s group, things felt lighter.

somehow you felt more expressive than you realized. they were open to your ideas and thoughts, just as you were with them. you felt super comfortable and realized that you weren’t holding back on anything anymore

that’s why you had expected your winter break to be better than your past ones

everyone agreed to skate around the ice rink in rockefeller for christmas. along with it, also spending new year’s eve at the time square

news flash: you finally had the cliche new year’s eve kiss, with none other than peter parker!!! hooray!!!

for anyone who had common sense, your feelings for peter had accentuated. you weren’t denying it either, and the boy wasn’t oblivious to it too

he was just so irresistible and kind to you, like, all the time – to surreal, honestly

you felt and KNEW you were spoiled with peter (and his friends, who liked to spend time with you outside too, just not as much as him)

just as you were planning your spring break activities, it had to be postponed for another time

a lockdown had to be implemented around the country as it was under the state of a pandemic

mj and ned told the group that they’ll be with their families since lectures had to be concluded for the mean time

you planned to do the same, but you expected that this situation wouldn’t last long. so you chose to stay in your dorm rather than return to your hometown

completely sucks since you not only don’t get to hang out with your friends, but you weren’t able to see anyone in person...

until you got a text from peter

he was literally inviting you over his apartment since he explained that he wasn’t returning home either

you practically rushed to pack a small amount of clothes for a sleepover whilst not forgetting to wear a mask (bc it’s fucking important ok)

you arrived at his address and a big warm hug ensues

his unit was so tidy and you were convinced he did it to impress you

peter was so happy to see you, acknowledging that you’re also spending a few nights with him

the nights mostly consisted of eating snacks and binge watching movies

however during one of those nights, both of you got a bonus – making out on his couch and further, completely forgetting the television

making out with peter wasn’t awkward at all. most of the time he was the one in control, which you didn’t mind

his hands treated you so gently but the way he teased you made you crave for more than what he was offering

a lot of whining, swearing, and begging – you weren’t aware but he was enjoying it a lot

on his side, he did praise you from time to time, but most of it consisted of raw tension and actions. the room was full of grunts and short breaths

just want to include how sexy peter would be while he moans all over you. like his whole sunshine personality just drained away the moment he places his hands on either sides of your waist

the next day you felt like a princess even though you know it shouldn’t be???

apparently peter prepared breakfast for you and you felt embarrassed walking around his place only in the shirt you wore yesterday and underwear

just when you thought the extra lunch he packs for you was already amazing, the breakfast he prepared whilst being fresh and hot was just incredible

“you really like it?”

“of course! you really have to teach me to cook sometimes”

peter laughs and jokes, “yeah, don’t worry. i feel like we’ve got a lot of time ahead.”

ok fast forward to a few more days when you were beginning to feel like a freeloader. he lets you borrow a few of his clothes as yours were in the laundry

by the time you wanted to stop by your place, peter started to be more... clingy

at first he didn’t want you to go but after a few more debates, he felt defeated and instead insisted on going with you

eventually you caved and let him. it wasn’t that bad either, he talked to you about a lot of things on the way leaving you entertained the whole walk without realizing how far it had been

he helped you ‘pack’ more stuff so you wouldn’t be going back and forth from his place and yours. you felt like you were going out of town for a month with the amount of clothes and products

both of you returned to his place around late afternoon. you felt pretty tired and didn’t hesitate to pass out on the living room couch

when you woke up you sensed that you were in peter’s bedroom, meaning he carried and tucked you during the night

plus! an arm was wrapped around your midriff and you could feel peter’s breathing against your side

you closed your eyes and appreciated the moment. it was cute and made butterflies flutter around your stomach, and you tried not to move much to not wake him up

anyways apparently the pandemic lasted longer, and more serious, than expected (fuck the government and their incompetency)

you spent more time with peter and was thankful that you didn’t spend this quarantine alone

within a blink of an eye, a month and a half already had passed. you couldn’t deny that most, or all, days have been unproductive

eat, cook, watch tv, cuddle, fuck, repeatedly get spoiled??? yeah sounds like the dream

weird though because you haven’t completely brought up to peter if you’re actually in a relationship with him. oh no were you just friends with (a lot) of benefits??

but you also felt like it wasn’t the time to bring it up. neither of you were saying anything so it was best to let it be for the fear that things might go downhill from there

anyways this continued for more weeks, especially since the ‘stay-at-home’ policy was deemed necessary

you started to help him do errands around the apartment just to feel like you weren’t an actual freeloader – but it wasn’t a surprise when he kept insisting that you should relax

more cute moments

more sexy times

and more cuddles during night (peter’s grip became tighter every night, but you shrugged it off assuming that it was just you getting homesick and overthinking)

ok but when you brought up being homesick and mentioned that you planned peter wasn’t entirely happy about it

the way he acted wasn’t just clingy. he insisted that he’d be the one to go and that you were staying

“ok but i’m not a dog, peter?” “i know, honey, but it’s too dangerous outside. i wouldn’t want you to be at risk.” “i wear a mask?? i follow health protocols?? i’ll be fine??” “you don’t understand–”

oh god he was becoming controlling

you tried not to argue anymore, rather ignoring and pushing past him to proceed to the door

and peter instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and prevented you from walking further

there was a lot of struggling, but you didn’t know he was this strong. literally what the hell.

you tried to scream too but he pretty much threatened you to your core

“let’s talk this out,” he grunts as he secures his grip around you

“the hell? let me go!”

things got more complicated. he did convince you to talk with him (by means of tying your arms and legs to incapacitate you from running and righting)

it was a nightmare. he was really soft and sweet with you, even getting teary eyed after stating, “i only want what’s best for you... for us”

however you could sense the manipulativeness through it despite being making everything else look convincing

“trust me, sweetie, i wouldn’t want to hurt you. it would crush me” “please don’t cry. i’m only protecting you” “people are disgusting, they don’t deserve an angel like you” “don’t worry, i can protect you”

it terrified you to your nerves, sending shivers across your spine

at first you didn’t realize it, but eventually after days of being trapped, you figured he had been grooming you the whole time

he tried to make you dependent of him and somehow he did a fine job. just not enough to completely exploit you

though, it made you question what would have been better in your situation: being conscious of his sly nature with the hope of escaping or being unaware and completely wrapped around his finger whereas letting him continue how greatly he had been caring for you?

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

YALL WHAT SHOULD I WRITE FIRST

Okay!! so both of these are coming at some point!! i have some requests i’ve been working on and i’ve also been working on my original novel (that i hope to get published one day) but i really want to start working on one of my fairytale retellings/AUs(technically not more AU than a regular fic lol)/whatever you want to call them.

But i can’t pick which one to do first!!

- Beauty and the Beast retelling

-Darkling/General Kirigan x reader currently,, but i’m willing to listen to arguments for making this more SOC based and Kaz Brekker x reader, but i think the beauty and the beast theme works better for more SAB based story

- currently focuses on the reader agreeing to take someone’s place as General Kirigan’s prisoner/someone that has to work for him

- I think the plot is going to focus on the reader being a powerful grisha which is part of the reason he took her (like a strong heartrender that can manipulate emotions really precisely,, still unsure if i’d rather her be just human)

- the reader is low key really impressed with the Little Palace bc she grew up in poverty but she’s trying really hard not to be

- the (slight) AU part is that Kirigan needs someone of ‘pure heart’ to fall for the person beneath the darkness to unlock more power than ever bc of an ancient curse (and the person of ‘pure heart’ is the reader bc she has no ulterior motive to like him)

- but then he’s like!! i like her--oh no i like her

- i see Genya as mrs potts lowkey like she knows that Kirigan wants to win the reader’s love and she’s like trying to help lol

- Alina lowkey hyping up their connection

- Reader being all sunshiney and a sweetheart who is literally immune to Kirigan’s angst

- enemies to lovers excellence

- jealous kirigan,, jealous kirigan,,, jealous kirigan

- protective boyfriend vibes wayyy before they start dating lmao

- honestly a lot of acting cute together but still being like ‘i hate u’

- Anastasia retelling

- Kaz Brekker x reader

- based lowkey more on the musical than the disney movie (the only real difference in the musical is that someone thinks about killing Anastasia for the Russian revolution)

- the plot would focus on the return of annual rumors of a princess that might have survived a massacre at the palace

- i would create my own country in the grishaverse for the reader to be the princess of so that i can give it the history i need for my story

- so you know how in Anastasia Dimitri worked at the palace and he saved Anastasia?? my idea for this one is that the Dregs were hired to kill the royal family that the reader is a part of and bc of what he considers a lapse of judgement, Kaz helps the reader escape bc she was the youngest there and they had an interaction that like tugged at him

- anywayssss.... fast forward years later and Kaz is as hardened as he is in the SOC books, he thinks that the princess he helped died anyways bc he saw her run off in the wrong direction

- but!! the princess’s royal grandmother is still looking for her and this year she’s offering more kruge than ever for the return of her missing granddaughter

- Kaz runs into the reader after she tries to pickpocket him and when he realizes that she’s an orphan that looks enough like Anastasia (same hair color, same eye color, etc) with amnesia he’s like ‘it’s perfect’

- the reader is like ?? i don’t know any royal traditions or anything about the royal family,, and also im indentured to this guy who is not going to like this

- and Kaz is like don’t worry about that guy

- the reader is like ?? don’t worry--

- and he’s like yeahh,, i’ll pull some strings (he’s not really pulling strings, he’s paying for her time but he would never tell the reader that bc it makes her seem valuable and no one wants their time ‘purchased’)

- and then princess training starts!! the reader has to study on family history through textbooks but she still has like no formal etiquette skills and Kaz is like ‘i have a merchling that was part of high society, he can teach you table manners’

- Wylan is like you have a what now?? and Kaz is like shut up

- the reader agrees obviously bc Kaz is like i could kill you,, you did try to steal from me, but he’s also like ‘if you’re made a princess you can pay off your indenture and the indentures of your friends’

- lots of the crows being best friends with the reader in this one

- the reader is a gifted medic but touching blood makes her feel ill bc of trauma

- im thinking of making her a tailor to explain why she brought in so much money for the people she worked for (because she could make herself look like anyone’s type) but im thinking that subplot might complicate things but i do want her to be grisha so maybe a squaller?? idk

- throughout the story im going to have Kaz think about how he lowkey regrets letting the girl go at the beginning bc it’s an unfinished job technically and bc the family was evil and they did bad by their people

- reader realizes that she’s been romanticizing this family and that theyre actually bad and she’d rather just stay with the crows

- kaz realizes he wants the reader to stay

- both being too prideful to say anything until the reader is like ‘screw it’ but before she can tell kaz (the night before her coronation) kaz is like pls tell me you don’t think you’re her and the reader is like i said i wouldn’t lie to you

- and kaz is genuinely considering killing her to like finish what was started and bc he really hates that family (i’ll explain why he hates the family in the fic lol)

- enemies to lovers bc it’s my favorite,,

- a lot of everyone being confused on how the reader is allowed to get away with half the stuff kaz allows and then whenever anyone is like YALL ARE ACTING LIKE A COUPLE the reader is like ??this is just how i act? and everyones like YEAH BUT KAZ DOESNT LET PEOPLE ACT LIKE THAT

- and kaz is like i literally dont know what ur talking about i yelled at her this morning,, i promise i did, it’s not my fault u didn’t see it--i totally yelle--

yall i lowkey want to write both of these NOW but i need to learn impulse control pls,, help lol

AND I DIDNT EVEN TELL YALL ABOUT MY TANGLED OR HADES&PERSEPHONE RETELLING IDEAS MUAHAHAHA PLS SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP IM SUCH A SIMP FOR RETELLINGS

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!bin

a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!

word count: 5k

genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________

ugh yo

bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time

major: exercise science

and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college

swam varsity starting his second year

besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career

alright so bin loves making friends

he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him

but his aura?? tbh very intimidating

like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him

very well known in the university

literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year

a little embarrassed about it

not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him

myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?

rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete

blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing

so how do you meet bin?

basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend

you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him

your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place

but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am

a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate

you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare

most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin

oh would you look at that

you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face

he grinned at you when you sat down

“hey y/n”

you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”

he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”

before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation

one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on

you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics

no offense to stats lovers

every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class

you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically

so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam

you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression

you were both fucked

after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit

you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?

bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class

you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?

bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class

you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying

“can he help me too...? please?”

bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?

bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study

you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug

“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”

with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked

he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!

he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it

until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute

bin texts you the next day

coincidentally, eunbi texts you too

bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1

eunbi: why did bin ask for your number

you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)

you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week

eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n

you: lol what do you mean by that?

eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!

ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin

but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings

still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?

spoiler alert, it went alright

you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived

you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?

cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(

eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him

you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin

bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me

eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him

you: ???

bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh

before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam

it was just you and bin this time

although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him

yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty

you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours

granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could

bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics

you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you

it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him

not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)

he walks you back to your apartment after your study session

wow what a gentleman

bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)

mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault

anyways

on the day of your exam you were freaking out

you have test anxiety ah ha ha

you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class

you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella

bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay

you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg

you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest

he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it

instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.

he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down

your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy

you: th...thanks bin...

bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay

he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam

bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.

you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing

yes you and bin got lunch that day

your exam results were uploaded the next day

you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95

bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe

you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something

you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo

eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)

you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)

eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am

you: okay! i’ll see you there bin

bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo

cha eunwoo—best wingman™

you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet

eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water

also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!

bin places first this meet

are we shocked? no

okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers

and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you

eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better

you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...

eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him

you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of

jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*

baby you’re blushing

even more so when bin comes up to your group

mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders

he’s so hot ???

you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh

sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win

eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)

hwang eunbi—best wingwoman™

dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today

*you about to get your wallet*

bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time

cue the boys teasing

astro: kings of making fun of each other

rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late

bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...

the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet

he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you

you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about

you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so

and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms

and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?

but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving

bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place

eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)

bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home

eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date

bin: ...shut up

god why is the pining stage so long

alright everyone knows you and bin like each other

it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet

you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am

and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards

you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry

but that means more outside study sessions dates

you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself

and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends

but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other

even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual

you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over

eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.

alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin

let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year

you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual

eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor

mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n

eunwoo: probably not??

eunbi: just do it please

mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table

“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”

you: o_o huh?

mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?

you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read

you: um...well no I’m not-

bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.

mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves

you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him

bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out

you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else

bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection

you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf

“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”

it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that

eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together

myungjun: fucking finally

bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?

*eunwoo has left the chat*

alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%

bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you

he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand

eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you

ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you

sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?

other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??

eunbi: excuse me while i vomit

okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy

yes he looks all big and intimidating

but he’s soft—especially for you

your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”

yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you

bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe

he’s the big spoon, no questions asked

okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world

his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him

you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter

okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy

im soft

one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that

if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours

doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours

you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before

you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick

one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him

he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets

he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it

you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject

one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like

“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”

and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying

you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?

your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that

“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”

bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—

oh boy you got mad

you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...?

bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor

you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.

there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain

bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up

he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something

so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn

he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing

bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.

you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out

he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him

and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab

you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself

and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him

bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.

ugh pain

anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter

eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach

you: omg eunbi stop

bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that

eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?

he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t

bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again

all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him

bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)

this was actually when the first “i love you” was said

after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort

and he just went out with it

“I love you y/n”

you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that

obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now

you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter

“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”

he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over

you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing

myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet

speaking of fucking

okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark

bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that

he’s 100% a tease

you have a little muscle kink hehe

which bin very much uses to his advantage

if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day

will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it

he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it

one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral

you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out

he’s an ass guy

...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes

okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier

he always wants you on his lap

even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs

ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh

most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent

but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock

subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you

just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants

and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf

his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking

likes to bite and mark

very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you

you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season

foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you

as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook

(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)

also in the hook, he can choke you

if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink

okay little tangent, choking is so hot?

like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy

likes butt stuff oops

i don’t make the rules, he just does

daddy kink, but no power play

will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals

seeing your face when you cum is a must

almost always: you cumming → bin cumming

nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good

after !! care !!

sweetest boy!!

will clean you up with a warm towel after sex

and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI

if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft

always ends sex with an i love you :’)

okay let’s get back to the soft stuff

special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates

sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together

he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year

it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break

his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew

you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food

naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping

bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??

you: morning binnie :)

his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner

his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?

just kidding all jokes

but that’s the moment when he knew

best boyfriend bin ugh

he becomes a legend in the school for swimming

but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation

he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business

bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step

you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot

doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops

ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb

like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places

but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete

your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi

at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually

eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)

and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu

happy birthday binnie moonbob ♥

1-25-21

174 notes · View notes

moon-nymphet · 4 years

Note

Hcs or scenario (whatever you like!) *warning extreme angst* oikawa, kuroo and osamu with a crush. They mutually like each other but never made a move to progress anything. One day another girl comes along and the boys move onto them instead. Crush is upset but accepts it and backs off. A bit later the boys realise the new girl they’re with was just something fresh and new and they don’t actually like them. They want to go back to oh crush but they already have no feelings for them anymore 😢😢

i swear i cried real tears while writing this, i love destroying my own mental health (∪ ◡ ∪) and ahhh this took me so long to write bc i’m so freaking insecure about the quality of my writing, i’m sorry this is so bad but there u gooo ♡

♡ we could have been something ;; haikyuu

warnings: angst, rough language

kuroo

you know this type of friendship where the limits are so difuse that the rest of people beggins noticing you had a thing for each other ? that’s what kuroo and you have had for the longest time

kuroo and you spent most of your time hanging out together, you went to see him training and he always called you his girlfriend in front of his teammates just because he loved to see you all flustered, you worried so much about each other almost like a couple, and you were even starting to get along with kenma, so you knew for a fact that you were into each other, or at least that’s what you thought ??

as you two were pretty childish you used to bicker all the time, nothing serious most of the times because none of you could get away more than a day without talking to each other, and when you had this little arguments it was about silly things that didn’t matter

that continued being like that until this day kuroo started reproaching you that he was so tired of trying without a result — “you seem to fucking ignore the obvious signals i’m sending you y/n, are you playing the dumb role ??? i can’t continue like this anymore, i’m sorry but i met this girl and she showed me clearly that she wants to be with me as more than a friend” — and leaving you completely broken, he suddenly walked away from your life without a previous warning

at first you felt so guilty, it was true, you were a bit shy and insecure, but you thought he liked you just the way you were ? but then you understood well how things were in reality, your silly ass thought you two had something meaningful

sure it hurted to see him walking hand in hand with the stereotypical mean girl from highschool movies, but you know the worst part of this ?? it wasn’t her fault, it was his and only his. and that’s what broke you the most

things continued being the same for a while, and to be honest, it was a bit hard at the beggining, but when you finally realized you were just his toy, his distraction, you felt nothing but repulsion towards him

and that’s on why you rejected him so coldly when he left the girl that he “truly loved” to come back to you; yeah he did. and you knew he was regretting so hard leaving you, but you simply couldn’t trust his feelings for you anymore

“please y/n ... i acted like a horny teenager, i just knew things were gonna be easier with her and i was starting to lose hope in having something more with you, but it’s you, it’s always been you” kuroo kneeled in front of you, holding your hand to prevent you from leaving. but you couldn’t do other than looking at him with eyes full of pity, knowing from the beggining what you would say to him

“i’m sorry. i can’t. i don’t trust you anymore kuroo. it was so hard for me, you know ?? you abandoned me without a fucking sign of considerateness” as you abrutly let go of his hand and turned away, leaving him there, tears started falling from the corner of your eye, but no. you weren’t going to turn back to him, you wouldn’t do such harm to yourself

oikawa

were you aware of his reputation ?? the answer is yes, but you felt so happy when you were around him that you didn’t care in the least. “people talk when they have nothing important to do, this boy is such a sweetheart” is what you thought when tooru oikawa started paying you more attention than he did with other girls

he is every girl’s dream, a cute boy who treats you like an absolute princess. toruu took you on inifinity of dates, and you always had such a good time with him, time went by so fast when it was spent with oikawa. you saw life in pink when he picked you up with his car and stared at you, just to let out a “you look so fucking stunning today my little cutie”

at that time you didn’t really understand why you didn’t formalize things once and for all; he looked interested in you and you tried your best to let him know that you were into him too, the intimacy between you two was beggining to grow, you started doing more and more things together, everything was so idyllic it was hard to believe it was all real

but soon you saw the true colors of things, it didn’t take you that much time to learn that oikawa didn’t want to confess he really liked you because he didn’t want to lose all his fangirls.

it was such an ego-booster for tooru to know he had plenty of girls willing to do everything just for a night with him, that he had a big catalogue of girls to choose which one he wanted to have fun with

it’s not that he didn’t like you, it’s just that he wasn’t confident enough for you, and it showed when you saw him flirting with another girl in front of the high school entrance, his lips so close to hers they weren’t touching for a milimeter, leaving you in a big shock. that situation made you feel the dumbest shit ever, you knew who you were dealing with but you thought he was going to be different this time

yeah, you were the dumbest shit ever for believing that

although you waited anxiously for him to call, toruu never called you again from that day, and you couldn’t help but feel so ashamed of yourself. you knew you were fucked when you started feeling sorry for yourself, being such a desperate and ridiculous ass for some fuckboy that didn’t gave a shit about you

a good two weeks had to pass for you to start feeling better, because even if you knew you weren’t his girlfriend, you still felt betrayed. it hurt to see how you were nothing special for him, so replaceable it was even impressive

and talking about impressive, that’s how i’d call the fact that tooru had the audacity to text you after some time like nothing hapenned. “are you angry with me ???” — and the truth is that you weren’t angry, you were never angry with him, your feelings were deeply hurt but that’s all

“tooru ?? what does this means ?” after hesitating for a while if you should text him back and trying to resist the temptation, you ended up doing it

“it means please open the door my little cutie, i’m outside your house ” you couldn’t believe your eyes to what you were reading, but you went and opened the door for him to find out what all of this was about

“can i... ??” the tall setter grabbed your chin with his long and fine fingers, bringing your face closer to his. you didn’t even have time to react, oikawa didn’t finish his sentence but instead he pressed his lips against yours. you were absolutely freaking out, that leading you to break the kiss when you realized what was happening

“the fuck you think you are doing tooru oikawa ? you think you can come here after a whole ass month and act as if nothing happened ??”

“please listen to me y/n, it wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings, i’m sorry if you felt that way. i realized i truly want to be with you” he intensely stared into your eyes with that look of his. it was so alluring you almost gave in, but that wasn’t happening

“i’m not one of that hoes you can fuck one time and never call me back, i’m not that type. you keep saying you’re sorry about me feeling that way, not about what you fucking did. i don’t like you anymore oikawa and i regret so much that i did like you some time ago. and please now i’ll have to ask you to dissapear from my life”

he looked at you for some seconds with watery eyes before leaving without saying a word, and you genuinely weren’t able to tell if he was feeling that way or he was faking it. but that’s it, your story with oikawa tooru, your first and last kiss with him

osamu

your relationship with osamu was so difficult to describe, like, really difficult. you met him some years ago when you started going to inarizaki high and you didn’t really click with each other, but you soon became a great friend of atsumu

and that obviously carries seeing osamu frequently as he’s atsumu’s twin brother and they had quite a good relationship. don’t be mistaken, it’s not that you suddenly clicked and everything was amazing between you two, no

everything remained the same, and i could even say that the tension between osamu and you grew bigger because you simply couldn’t be around the other without bickering and disagreeing on the littlest of the things, that leading to atsumu having to stop you from fighting

but who says that tension wasn’t sexual at all ?? — because if you say so you’re completely wrong. it was so luring for you when he was just as sarcastic as you were with him, or when you said you were fucking tired of his shit and he came up with a defiantly “and what are you gonna do about it, huh ???”

it could be said that you were never attracted to easy things, and that included persons. it was easy to see you hated each other in such a lustful way it could turn into love without none of you noticing

and i’m not gonna lie, that’s what happened, but maybe you weren’t confident enough to confess when you noticed the feeling that started invading your heart. it was difficult to believe it could be reciprocate, but the same thing happened to osamu

none of you gave in to the feeling and things just happened to grow more tense as stupid as it may sound, leading you both to a cloud of confusion about what you should do. sadly, things don’t go always the way we want them to go

that’s what you learned when you were hanging out at atsumu’s and jealousy suddenly consumed you on the spot. osamu nonchalantly entered the house with a girl you didn’t knew, and went all the way to his room with her without even saying his usual “hello you dumbfuck” to you, closing the door behind his back

you couldn’t help it, and you stormed out of the house without even giving atsumu an explanation, you needed to be left alone with your thoughts

for the next days you couldn’t bring the face of that random girl out of your mind for a second, she looked like she knew what she was going to do when she entered osamu’s room, and you wished so bad you were her

but that’s what you got for not confessing on time

even though it was difficult, you had to get used to seeing the boy you like with other girl, and with the pass of time, it became easier and easier. maybe it was because you were starting to feel nothing for him but rage, rage because he didn’t notice you were so into him, or maybe he just didn’t care because he didn’t feel the same

sometimes you would think rationally and in a lucid moment, you realized it was your fault for being a coward ass and not confessing, but that didn’t matter at all because now you were over the romantic feeling, it was just regret what was left, maybe something beautiful could have happened

after some time, atsumu asked you what was going on that day, and now that you weren’t sensitive about that topic anymore you decided to be honest with him and tell him the truth. you could see the anguish in his face and you couldn’t tell why, but you understood it all some days after when osamu came to your house with a nervous aura and you felt even more dumb if it could happen

“i think i like you quite a lot... you dumbfuck” (yeah as you can see you had a beautiful nickname) he let those words out with an annoyed expression in his face

“oh no this can’t be happening now” you thought to yourself. “...samu ??... and what about... her ??”

“i left her y/n. i don’t wanna be with her if i can be with you, she was just the band-aid for my wound... you.” osamu directed his grey gaze to the floor, his expression softened as he confessed this to you. you couldn’t help but break down into tears, this couldn’t be happening to you. “hey... why are you crying y/n? are you okay?” concern showing in his voice

“it’s just that i feel like a true dumbfuck samu.” you tried to smile through your tears and downplay the matter but it was impossible at that point. the boy looked at you with a confused guise, tilting his head to one side and furrowing his brows. “i’m sorry love... i don’t feel like that”

“but tsumu said...” — his words were interrupted by you placing your index finger against his lips as you directed your teary gaze to him.

“not anymore samu... it was a while ago. i’m deeply sorry, you can’t even imagine how much and i hope you can forgive me for being such a dumbass” you tried to say it in the softest way you could because you truly were feeling like that

“hey y/n. don’t worry. it’s not your fault. i get it, come here” you felt osamu’s arms taking you in a tight embrace, giving an end to a beautiful story that didn’t even got time to start

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robinofinashiro · 4 years

Text

“what if you had it all / but nobody to call / maybe they know me / cause i’ve had everything / but no ones listening / and that’s just fucking lonely / i’m so lonely /

request status: closed

pairing: mirio togata x fem! reader (slight bakugou angst)

note: i’m closing reqs bc my semester starts next week and need a clean slate by the end of next sunday so i can get my writing and school schedule together. i promise i won’t go anywhere !!

you were sitting at your desk, hearing the conversation Tokoyami and Jirou were having about something. one ear was on the conversation and the other was hearing what Bakugou was screaming to Kirishima about.

“getting yelled at again, Kiri?” you asked, giving the two boys a smile. Kiri flashed you an embarrassed look as Bakugou didn’t say much but give you a quick glance before yelling at him again, “come on Tsuki, leave him alone?” you asked, trying to get him to quiet down.

he gave you a scoff but quieted down to a ‘normal’ tone of voice. you gave Kiri a wink before going back to the conversation with Tokoyami and Jirou. you could see she wanted to tell you something but decided against it.

“did you hear?” Mina said, walking over to the three of you, “there are some third years visiting us!! kind of exciting, isn’t it? hearing some stories from the upperclassman!” she exclaimed.

you nodded, “I heard this morning and yeah, it’s pretty exciting! I think if we get the chance to train with them, it would be even better. do you know who any of the third years are?” you asked her. Mina shook her head, “nope! ask Midoriya, he might know but I think they’re meant to be surprise!”

before Mina could say anything else, Aizawa walked into the class lazily, per usual.

all of you sat back down in your seats, hearing Aizawa speak on exactly the thing that Mina was talking about. you felt your hands get a bit sweaty, not really knowing who to expect to see walk into the classroom. maybe some over the top students? students who thought they were better than all of you?

it didn’t take long for the students to walk in, your thoughts immediately coming to a halt when you saw the blond haired boy walk in. your eyes widened a bit, not realizing that you might have been visibly simping over him.

Aizawa informed you on who they were. they were the end all, be all for U.A. known as the big three and who all the hero students should strive to be like.

you couldn’t help but feel for their shyest student. you could see the anxiety written on his face as soon as he saw all of your eyes on him. you wanted to tell everyone to stop looking but you knew that if he felt nervous about a confrontation with regular first year students, how would the actual pro hero field treat him?

finally, the attention was diverted to the blond who you immediately turned your attention too. you couldn’t help but laugh, seeing as how he instantly told the entire class to fight him with those excited arms flailing everywhere.

while you did want to take him up on that offer almost immediately, you were out of commission for the next few weeks.

you had gotten hurt while training with Katsuki last week and your knee had broken. Aizawa had mentioned that while you could have gone to Recovery Girl to get it fixed, it was an injury that didn’t need such urgent recovery and told you to sit out for a few weeks until it healed.

“take him up?” you asked jokingly to Katsuki. he scoffed, rolling his eyes, “please, he’d lose in seconds,” he responded. you laughed, trying to keep it down as Aizawa told everyone that they were moving to the training grounds to actually fight Mirio.

Katsuki was about to ask if you wanted help getting to the training grounds but upon that thought, he saw Mirio heading both your way. Katsuki saw your eyes widening, seeing how you got a bit flustered at Mirio approaching you with that contagious smile on his face.

“hey, you’re ( your name ), right?” he asked excitedly. you nodded, your heart stopping at the fact that he knew who you were, “Mr.Aizawa said you needed help getting to the training ground so here I am !” he exclaimed, “I’d love to help a first year who is in trouble!”

you stood still for a moment, not knowing how to respond him. it wasn’t until Katsuki moved past him, growling in your ear before jogging to catch up to everyone else when you finally payed attention. you looked at Mirio with a shy expression.

“sure, I’d love help!” Mirio grabbed the work you had been doing and held it to his chest before helping you onto the crutches, “so, you’re THE Mirio Togata, huh?” you said, trying to make conversation.

Mirio nodded, “the one and only! did you know who I was before hand?” he asked. you shook your head no, “ah, so you’re just assuming I’m popular?” he joked. you gave him a smirk, “or maybe you’re just assuming that I think that?” you replied.

the two of you started laughing. “but I’ve heard of you before!” he said, “really now?” your eyebrow arched in confusion, “nah, just kidding. the only one who I’ve ever heard of was your classmate Midoriya and how reckless he is out on the field,” you laughed nervously, knowing exactly what he meant by that.

“yeah, Midoriya sure is a cause of stress for everyone in 1-A to say the least,” you replied, “but he’s going to make a great hero, right along with everyone else in the class,” you added on.

Mirio saw the way your eyes sparkled when talking about your classmates. he could sense that you genuinely believed in all of them. maybe some more than others but he could tell that you weren’t trying to actively put anyone (outside of mineta) down.

“I bet you’re going to be the best of the class.”

your could feel yourself stop in your tracks, your crutches accidentally making you trip. Mirio without a second thought caught you, his arms holding you firmly in place. you didn’t dare to look at him, knowing if you did, you would get flustered almost immediately.

“you okay?” he whispered, “yeah, I’ll be fine!” you said back, limping your way to where Aizawa usually told you to sit.

you were trying to focus on your work, you really were, but as soon as finally focusing in on the work, Mirio decided to do what he did best, and flex before permeating into the ground.

“he’s so attractive,” you whispered to the closest person to you, that being Kirishima. he laughed, seeing at how your eyes basically wanted to pop out of your face when you saw him shirtless, “I think you’re supposed to watch them train, not watch Mirio the entire time,” he joked.

you rolled your eyes, not sensing the glare you were getting from the blond a few feet away. Bakugou had never heard you talk about any of your classmates that way before. yeah, the few side comments about how cute Todoroki was did happen but it was inevitable considering ALL the girls in class thought he was.

“I mean no disrespect Kiri but is what I would consider manly,” you murmured, not fully realizing what you meant. Kiri looked at you before whispering to you a bit offendedly that he was manly, “I told you I didn’t mean it towards you! I’m just saying, he’s very nice to look at.”

Bakugou growled, telling the two of you to shut up before going straight into the fray. you stared at Kiri confused, “any reason why he’s so upset all of sudden?” you asked. he shook his head, knowing exactly the reason.

“wait, I think they need your help,” you told him, pointing out that everyone was either screaming at how quickly Mirio permeated and how no one was able to catch him yet. Kirishima followed Bakugou and ran to try and get Mirio, in which he easily went back into the ground.

you sat on the bench, not bothering to watch them much afterwards. you were getting ahead on schoolwork which really worked out in your benefit when it came to being lazy as soon as you got to your dorm after classes. it usually meant stuffing your face with snacks or going straight to nap.

“hiya!” you heard Mirio tell you from the ground. you looked down, laughing at the smile on his face, “all done torturing my classmates?” you asked. he nodded, trying not to permeate to the point where he would flash anyone again.

“well, I have to go back to class. gotta make sure Iida doesn’t lecture me for being late again,” you told him, grabbing your crutches and seeing Bakugou basically run towards you. “come on, I’ll walk you back to class,” he stated, giving Mirio a look of near hatred before grabbing your things.

you tried to tell Mirio goodbye but Bakugou didn’t let you, telling you that he wanted to walk behind you to make sure you didn’t fall or anything. you wanted to question him about his sudden attitude change but seeing as how he was just generally upset, you walked back to class in silence.

“so, did you think they were hard to fight off?” you said, trying to break the silence. Bakugou shrugged, “I guess, not anything I can’t handle,” he said proudly.

you rolled your eyes, trying to smack him with your crutch. the walk back, you could still sense the awkward tension, however; you were kind of happy that Bakugou wasn’t saying much. your conversation with Mirio was enough to keep your mind occupied.

he could tell you weren’t even watching what you were doing until he heard Mina scream for you. you stopped your movements, waiting for her to catch up when she save Bakugou a look to basically scram.

“what the hell do you have to tell her that I can’t hear?” he yelled. Mina gave flipped him the middle finger before turning to talk to you, “Midoriya wanted to let you know that Mirio wants to see you again after classes are done!” she said excitedly, “I think he might have a thing for you, ya know?” she mentioned, poking you side.

you gave her a hearty laugh, not believing what she was saying.

“yeah right, what’s next? he’s gonna bring me lunch every day after today?” you said sarcastically. “something wrong Bakugou?” Mina asked.

not realizing what he was going, he saw that he was releasing small explosions into his hands, “mind your business, pinky,” he screamed, marching into the room, not even seeing that he left you stranded in the hall.

Mina let out an exasperated sigh, “anyway, he said he’d see you in the first year lockers after class,” she explained, “and you have to tell me how it goes! seeing Mirio suddenly take an infatuation with you is interesting. not every day you see a third year on our floor.”

you nodded in agreement as she took your book and folder before continuing to walk to class with you.

once the end of the day came, you could tell that whatever it was that pissed Bakugou off earlier still hadn’t gone away. anytime Kirishima or even Kaminari tried to say something, all they would get is silence or just incoherent screams from him.

“so, you’re off to see Mirio?” Jirou asked plainly. you nodded as Mina grabbed your bag from you, “I’ll help you with your bag and hopefully Mirio will walk you back to the dorms,” she said wiggling her eyebrows.

you wobbled your way out of class, not bothering to tell anyone besides the girls goodbye. Kirishima found it odd as you usually would tell Bakugou goodbye or even a ‘i’ll see you later’.

the hallways were a bit packed to move through them swiftly but eventually, you got to the lockers and saw Mirio talking to a few the students surrounding him. you gave the blond an excited smile, “here ya go Mirio! I assume you’re gonna walk my friend back?” Mina asked rhetorically.

you stared at the blue eyed boy who instantly grabbed your backpack and slung it around his back, making it seem like a child’s backpack with the way it fit around him.

“you asked to see me again?” you mentioned, getting tired of the way crutches felt underneath your arms, “these crutches aren’t the most comfortable and it’s getting kind of tiring to stand with them,” you complained.

“you left your pencil on the bench and wanted to give it back to you,” he said, showing you the glitter purple mechanical pencil. you stared at him, knowing that wasn’t the only reason, “ahhh, I guess you could see right through me, haha. the other reason was that I was wondering if I could get your number? to get to know you some more,” he murmured that last part.

if there was one thing you had to thank Mina for, it was at how crazy accurate she was with certain things.

“yeah, that’s fine with me!” you said taking your phone out and giving it to Mirio as he did the same with him. Mirio put his name on the contact like with a heart emoji next to it as you did the same but with a blushing face instead, “but now you’re really going to have to walk me back to the dorms, my arms feel like noodles.”

Mirio without a second thought, he grabbed your crutches and put them underneath his arm before swinging you behind his back in piggyback mode. you laughed as he carefully pulled on the leg with your broken knee to wrap around his waist, “hold on tight, sweetheart,” he said happily.

you hit him on the shoulder, telling him to move, “come on Togata, can’t have either of us get into trouble by our advisers for missing something,” you replied.

the walk to your dorms was relatively enjoyable. Mirio making sure that the conversation didn’t die out and you felt as comfortable as possible with you on his back. you gripped onto his upper shoulders as you finally saw a few of your classmates sitting in the grass, studying under the nice weather.

“hey guys!” you said happily. Mina smirked at you as Momo stared at you, surprise written on her face, “afternoon Mirio. making sure she gets to her dorm safely?” Momo said.

“of course!” Mirio replied excitedly, “that’s if it’s okay with all of you!” he added on.

Momo and Mina nodded, telling him it was more than okay. you let him walk into the living space where Sero, Kirishima, and Bakugou were at.

Bakugou instantly felt himself getting angry at Mirio all over again. it was like he was burning his stare into Mirio as you gave him kind of a dirty look for that. Sero and Kirishima could feel the small tension going on in the room as he watched Mirio help you get your bag onto your back so you could safely enter the elevator, him claiming that he didn’t feel comfortable entering the dorms all the way.

you quietly told him goodbye, whispering that you’d text him later tonight.

from that day forward, Bakugou felt the way you were now putting all your attention to Mirio. the way you would leave the dorm on some nights, completely missing your ‘study’ time with him to go hang out with Mirio in the lunch room.

other times, he would see Mirio waiting for you outside of the class, promptly doing what he used to. Mirio would be holding your favorite coffee and snack, asking you to come to his dorms to study with Nejire and Tamaki.

you had already gotten extremely friendly with Nejire as she took her place as your cooler, older friend. Tamaki was still getting a bit used to you but he could sense the way you felt about Mirio and vice versa.

yeah, he had saw Mirio happy all the time but this was different. sometimes, you were all Mirio could talk about. the slightest of things like a purple pen would have him talking about how he still kept the mechanical pencil you had left on the bench when you first met him.

one Saturday afternoon, you were sitting with Kirishima and Bakugou, having your mid-day coffee as all of you were talking about random things. your conversation was cut short as you saw Mirio’s contact pull up, asking you to Facetime in a few minutes.

“you and Togata are getting kinda close,” Kirishima said a bit cautiously. you nodded happily, laying your head on Katsuki’s shoulder, “yeah, he’s perfect, honestly. he’s so nice, the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, and to be truthful? I think he might ask me out soon.”

Kirishima gave Bakugou a quick glance as Bakugou stood as stiff as a bored, seeing your phone go off with Mirio’s Facetime. you got off the chair, basically walking away without saying goodbye to them as they heard Mirio talking to you, a bit too affectionate for Bakugou’s liking.

as class had gotten dismissed for lunch, you saw Mirio walking into the class, making sure Aizawa was no longer there. you gave him a smile, waving at him to come in.

“hi Miri!” you said, digging for you ID that you needed for lunch. he smiled nervously at you, “I brought you lunch! Nejire helped me with it and was wondering if you’d like to come eat it with us!” he said.

“of course, lets get going before we’re late,” you said trying to wipe the nervous look off of him. he grabbed your wrist lightly, “I promised Tamaki that if he saw you today, it would be with you being my girlfriend....”

you stood silent for a moment, everyone who was hearing the conversation waiting for an answer, “Mirio,” you whispered, “you dork,” you got onto your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, “yes, yes I will,” you finally answered.

he laughed, bringing you into a bone crushing hug as he swayed you slightly. what you didn’t know as Bakugou standing in the back of the class, ready to rip everything in close proximity into shreds as he saw Mirio place a playful kiss on your forehead before grabbing your hand and dragging you out of class.

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windsweptlassie · 4 years

Text

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners:

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves:

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love:

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters:

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose:

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

#on love #love files #uquiz #mine #shut up queenie #long post

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

I’m the tin foil hat anon and I wanted to thank you for the response on my bb submission, you make great points. Although I was frustrated that some of them raised even more questions I didn’t think of myself… UGH… lol the S2 wait is gonna be painful

On the point of crosshair thinking his chip was removed a looong time ago(meaning before bracca or even as early as ep1) it wouldn’t make sense bc of his response to Hunter’s “you tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice”. He says “and I did?”. So he seems to be aware he couldn’t control himself in all their previous encounters. Does it mean he knows his actions were due to chip then?

And you say crosshair avoiding the “when” question can be due to him not caring if the horrible actions he committed are chip or himself and it’s meant to show that he truly is despicable and evil. It could be the case because he shows absolutely no remorse or regret over slaughtering civilians, never apologizes to his brothers for not only trying to kill them but almost successfully incinerating(!!!) them. On top of that (apparently) without a chip he casually murders his own squad without a blink of an eye right in front of them.

On the other hand, he shows care for Omega’s safety in that episode and wants a better place in the universe for his brothers(even if it’s obviously a mistake). He sounds hurt and betrayed by them yet he still wants what he thinks is best for them. He seemed genuine and sincere in that moment. Even after they refused to join he protected them against the droids. He had multiple opportunities to shoot Hunter or others in the back but never did(and looked like didn’t even consider it). BUT after all of that he decides to raise his gun and try to shoot hunter who already has his gun drawn?! And in front of the whole squad holding him at gun point!!! WTF was he thinking?! WHY? I know they rejected his offer but still. Did his reveal completely change his plans? I just don’t understand. I know he is meant to be “complex and nuanced character with layers” but what a mood swing lmao

As much as I loved and enjoyed the bad batch overall I’m beginning to think that all these inconsistencies aren’t meant to be a crafty set up for next season. What they most likely are is just writers being vague on purpose so they don’t write themselves into a corner.

And as to why the batch and Omega didn’t even try to rescue their brother could just be so that Hunter and Crosshair would have this drama and disagreement at the end. Despite brad rau claiming their argument was over ideological differences. And Jen Corbett saying in that same cursed interview that the batch always love and support each other no matter what because they’re family. Well, I guess not crosshair, he doesn’t count anymore lol

And I agree with you I’d rather see the batch acknowledging they could have done more to try and rescue him than go into the chip details. However, I have a suspicion the real reason or explanation on why they never went back for him isn’t going to be brought up ever. Even *in universe* it simply does not make sense. Just makes me sad seeing how many people also try to come up with explanations. That should have been the writers job to provide something besides Hunter’s “you tried to kill us” bc that’s a weak argument and a total bs since he was SHOCKED to learn crosshair doesn’t have a chip.

Btw sorry for the long posts lol I just found your takes very intriguing

The season two wait is something awful and I only just started it lol. No worries about long asks though! My blog has become quite meta heavy over the years, so this is normal for my inbox. Besides, it’s a bit of a pot and kettle situation. It's not like my answers are particularly concise :D

Okay first, I have the unpopular (?) opinion that Crosshair was never planning to shoot Hunter, partly for the reasons you lay out here. You’re right, it doesn’t make sense, and rather than just accepting that he had that kind of “mood swing" (which would be pretty bad writing based on everything else we've seen) I think it does make sense that this was never his intention at all. Rather, it’s just a setup to make the audience think he’s about to shoot Hunter—that’s the obvious goal of that moment: the shock, drama, confusion, and then relief—but that doesn’t mean that in-universe that was ever Crosshair’s goal, even for just a split second. Omega leaves the pod. Echo, crucially, says that he can’t see her, setting up that Crosshair with his enhanced sight is probably the only one who could. He grabs his rifle off screen and as he does, Hunter leans over the side of the pod as he prepares to jump in, precisely where Crosshair needs to aim to hit Omega. Hunter is in his way. He’s directly in the line of fire, not because Crosshair is aiming for him, but just because that's where Omega is and they're both aiming for her: Crosshair with his rifle, Hunter ready to dive. The little shift Crosshair makes reads to me as him ensuring he doesn’t hit Hunter, despite him being right where he needs to aim, not him full on changing targets.

Even if we choose to read it as him deliberately aiming at Hunter—because yeah, the scene is meant to be ambiguous—I don’t think he, like, meant it meant it. Crosshair, as we’ve seen throughout TBB and TCW, can be pretty antagonistic. He likes to do things to get a rise out of people, like staring at regs until they snap at him, or pushing Rex’s buttons until he swings. If he was choosing to aim at Hunter in that moment, rather than Hunter just being in the way, I think it’s only bravado. Remember the “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t make me your enemy” line? Crosshair has a need to remind others of his skill and power—whether it’s playfully like in TCW, or more seriously in TBB—and that’s likely what this is here. “Hey, Hunter. Look. I got my weapon back. I’ve got you cornered. I’m about to save our sister when you can’t. Remember that I’m good and you need me.” Those feelings of abandonment are tied up in that need to be needed, so when Crosshair is seething at being left behind, brutally showing them how he can get a drop on their leader and doing the thing they can't (save Omega) is a great way to remind them of what they threw away/re-boost his own self-esteem. But none of that means shooting Hunter was ever a real possibility. Because nowhere else do we see Crosshair willingly trying to harm his team. He does while under the chip’s influence, but then he never hurts Hunter when he’s captured. He kills his new team before they can hurt the batch. He helps them fight off the droids. There’s a tussle, but it’s not choreographed like either he or Hunter truly intends harm. Crosshair demonstrates no aggression during the entire escape, willingly gives up his weapon after saving Omega, and just stands there as they leave. If this guy actually wanted to hurt them, he would. Which is more likely, that Crosshair had a split second of real murder intent across two episodes of doing everything possible to help his team, or that this was just a mean bluff?

But personally, I don’t even think it was a bluff. I think the coincidence of Crosshair needing to aim there and Hunter already being there is just meant to imply an attack for the audience, not imply that Crosshair, in-universe, ever intended to hurt him, even for just a second. If he had, he wouldn’t look so surprised and sad when he realizes the others are pointing their weapons at him. If he was out to shoot Hunter, even if only for a moment, seeing his brothers come to his defense would be expected; a given. But if he only ever intended to save Omega, then seeing their weapons trained on him would produce the emotions we saw: shock that they’d turn on him and then severe disappointment. From Crosshair’s perspective, he didn’t do anything wrong and never intended to do wrong either. Hence, looking away in disbelief that his need to aim through Hunter was taken as a serious threat. He's realizing that they honestly believe that he would hurt them. Not the chipped version of him, but just him, all on his own.

As for the rest of his characterization, I think your point that “You tried to kill us” is a weak argument is pretty important. Meaning, Crosshair knows he didn’t attack his team and nearly kill them, the Empire controlling him like a puppet did. He (arguably) doesn’t owe them an apology for something that he was as much a victim for. However, we usually expect one anyway—like Wrecker still apologizing to Omega—because that's how people who have hurt loved ones react, whether the hurt was intentional or not, but that guilt is currently overshadowed by his fury that they left him behind. For him I think it’s a bit of a circular problem. Yes, he nearly killed them… but he wouldn’t have nearly killed them if they’d come back and rescued him. With the obvious disclaimer that the Empire is the real evil here, Crosshair as a threat is a bit of a problem of the batch's own making. If they’d done the right thing and gotten him out, there wouldn’t have been these scary moments like the engine incident. If they’d at least tried, then Crosshair likely would have been more guilt-ridden because he hurt his brothers who were trying to help him. As it stands, he tried to hurt the people who claim they're his brothers, but who left him behind. That's why he presents this second chance as magnanimous: from Crosshair's perspective, they haven't done anything to earn his care, but they're getting it anyway. An apology though? That's pushing things too far. If when Wrecker turned the group had locked him somewhere in the ship and gone off planet, leaving him there under the justification “Well, he tried to kill us!" would Wrecker still return with apologies for his actions... or would he be primarily pissed at being left like that, withholding apologies because they did him harm intentionally, whereas he did harm under another's control? I mean, maybe he'd be forgiving (the huge difference between his and Crosshair’s personalities is another factor), but also maybe not. Having Crosshair apologize for the near-death experiences requires 1. For him to feel responsibility for something that was forced on him and 2. For him to not be absolutely furious at the batch for abandoning him. They've gotta work through that before Crosshair can acknowledge that guilt.

Killing his second team on the other hand… idk if the batch cares, honestly. It was the killing of civilians that they balked at, not other fighters like themselves. Even the Jedis’ execution, something they clearly didn’t like, wasn’t enough to turn them from the Empire, presumably because the Jedi are capable of defending themselves. They fell in battle. It’s only when the Empire asks them to kill kids and untrained civilians that they go, “Absolutely not. This organization is evil.” Murder of other fighters was, you know, not great, but not worth defecting over either. Crosshair’s second team is made up of fighters who have been trying to kill them, so they’re definitely fair game. If we removed Crosshair’s plan from the situation and the batch was just fighting their way off Kamino after a capture, would they have also killed the team without a blink of an eye? Probably. It's self-defense. The second they raised their blasters it became a battle and, unless you’re specifically out to stun someone for some reason, battles end bloody. The shock is which side Crosshair was on, not that one side was willing to murder the other. It’s definitely messed up from our perspective that Crosshair laid a trap to murder his team to prove a point… but from the batch’s perspective? Crosshair killed a bunch of imperial fighters who were threatening them during a battle. That’s just an average Tuesday for them, nothing much to get upset over.

And omg don’t get me started on Crosshair wanting to find Omega a family! Like yeah, it’s obviously a #mistake and his faith in the Empire is Super Messed Up but... the underlying motivation is so good. It’s another situation where there’s no easy answer. Which is more important: Omega’s emotional health where she grows up with clones like her, the people who are now 100% her family, or her physical health, where she stays some place where she’s not always getting shot at, kidnapped, at risk of going hungry, etc.? It’s easy as the audience to go, “Of course she belongs with her dads!!” but if you choose to read the story through any realistic lens, Crosshair absolutely has a point about this being terrible environment for a kid, the exact point the batch themselves were making until Omega begged to stay. I love my feral, compassionate child but let me tell you, I YELLED when she yeeted herself out of that pod. This is a traumatized, formerly isolated kid with absolutely zero self-preservation, combined with, at times, a lack of basic common sense that’s inevitable in children (like not realizing she can’t pull a very heavy droid up through the water). As emotionally gutting as the thought is and, in this particular case, a Very Bad Idea, I really can’t fault anyone for raising the possibility that she go somewhere else, somewhere she’s likely to survive into her teens 😅

#TBB #The Bad Batch #SW #Star Wars #mymetas

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gallickingun · 4 years

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YOUR BAKU IS PERFECT!!! may I pls have more??? 🥺👉👈

a/n: AW THANK YOU! i had to start easy bc he scares me lol. well not him so much as writing him correctly!

warnings: swearing, blood, lil tension; everyone 18+ even if there’s nothing going on.

ps, wow, this took a turn. 18+ for a reason now lol aka spicy but tolerable

“Outta my way, Deku!”

“Eat shit, IcyHot!”

“Fuck off, Weird Hair!”

“You know you can talk to your friends without insulting them, right?”

“Shut up,” Bakugo grumbles, dusting the ash off of his uniform.

“Yo!” Kirishima shouts as he trots over to where the two of you are, loitering over what remains of the training bots. He tilts his head, his face guard outlining his features, “Anyone ever notice that Bakugo never calls her anything mean?”

You scoff, “Oh take it as a compliment. Just means that he cares so little about me that he hasn’t thought of a crappy one-liner for me yet.”

“Hey!” Bakugo’s eyes widen, brows raising to form creases on his forehead. He’s growling now and you wonder how far you can push him, “You’re mean to people you like, I’ve figured you out, Baku’.”

He’s gritting his teeth and his jaw is quivering but you can’t help the giggle that parts your lips. The sound only seems to spur him on in his bout of fury, “You take that back, you raging little bitch!”

“There he is,” Kirishima groans, slapping his palm to his face. He sighs and shakes his head, reaching forward to grab Bakugo around the arms, dragging him towards the locker room.

Pissing Bakugo off had to be the best part of training.

You made it your point to say the last thing to frustrate him; it’s entertaining. And you know he’ll never hurt you, not for real. No matter how far he pushes his limits, he hasn’t ever actually harmed his friends beyond repair.

“Same time tomorrow?” you salute the hothead as he’s roughly yanked to the lockers.

“What did you say?!” He’s screaming from across the yard, his hands ferociously animating in midair. He raises a fist to you before flipping you off with both hands, “You’re lucky Weird Hair is here, or else I’d totally come beat your ass!”

You chuckle as you turn to go to your own set of locker rooms, a hot shower calling your name. There isn’t enough energy remaining in your body to send him another taunt or insult. You also know when is enough with Bakugo - you don’t want to have to have a full fledged one-on-one with him unless you have to. You’d never admit it, but he might overpower your quirk if he were angry enough.

It seems to become a thing then, because now you can’t stop paying attention to the way that Bakugo says your name instead of calling you some rejected insult. Even though he’s moved into an apartment with Kirishima, and he and Midoriya spar on the regular, he still keeps the same nicknames he gave them in high school.

You allow the tiniest of thoughts to wonder if maybe Bakugo just thinks highly enough of you to allow you to have your given name instead of giving you one himself.

The next time you bring it up, you’re pinning him down with your forearm on his throat, hips pressing harshly to him. You’re enlisted in the same agency, have been for about three years now, and you’re both working your way up the charts and the pay rates.

“Why don’t I get a cute nickname, Katsuki?” you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

He’s growling and before you know it, you feel a stinging explosion set off against your thigh and you’re rolling over. He takes advantage of the moment and pins you right back. Your head bobs against the training mat but the rest of your body is rendered immobile. His shins are on yours, successfully pinning your legs down as his hands make quick work of your upper body.

“Why does it fuckin’ matter?” Bakugo grits his teeth and narrows his eyes down at you, unsure as to what you’re getting at. His forearm is cutting off your breathing and he knows it, pushing into your esophagus as he repeats the question, only harsher this time.

You try to move your hand, signaling your surrender before you pass out.

Once he realizes, he’s leaning off of you, watching as you sputter and cough. You even thing you hear him mutter some sort of an apology as you work through your fit.

“I guess it doesn’t,” you manage, voice hoarse. “I’m just curious, since Kirishima said something.”

Bakugo rolls his eyes, resting his palms on the top of his thighs, “He’s talking out of his ass, is all.”

You find your hands are on his knees, casual as if this were normal. You chew on your lip and he gets impatient, brows knitted together as he snaps, “If you’ve got something to say, then say it!”

“You don’t see us as equals, do you?”

He smirks, “Well, I am the one on top of you while you beg for mercy, so you tell me.”

Your face burns bright red at his words and he falters, his breath hitching. He didn’t really mean it, it just slipped out. Or, rather, he didn’t mean for it to come across so honest.

Bakugo is clambering off of you then, his ears burning beneath the tails of his bandana. He offers you a hand, helping you stand to your feet. Your fingers linger a bit too long and you feel the sweat gather in his palms. You wonder if he’ll light you on fire for looking at him like that.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone as an equal.” Bakugo’s voice is rough, hidden behind his arm as he wipes the blood from his face. He smirks and you wonder why you’ve never seen him as he is, “But maybe I could start. Get better, and then we’ll see.”

As he walks away, you make it your personal mission in life to be seen as an equal on the battle field and in real life.

You train harder, longer, putting every part of your being into becoming better. You research strategies, researching the other heroes, playing your strengths off of theirs. You stay up late and wake up early, your body begging for rest but you are unyielding as you climb the sidekick ranks.

It’s another seven months before you’re face-to-face with him again.

You’re paired up as sparring partners, the two of you going head-to-head for a full thirty minutes without even using your quirks. You’re both sweating, his quirk daring to go off if he really willed it to. You know the strength to withstand using his abilities must take a lot of concentration.

“Wow, you’re not half-bad,” he chuckles, swinging a right hook at you. You dodge it easily, reacting by kicking him in the side. He chokes on his own saliva and you smirk at him, “What, you scared, baby?”

You’re not sure why or how that slipped from your lips, but it takes him by surprise. Either way, it leaves you with an opening to jump in the air and swirl your knees around his neck to pin him to the ground. Your legs are around his waist and you’ve got his arms barred upward.

The sight of his sweating palms so close to your eyes makes you a little nervous, but you have enough faith in him to hold back his anger and his explosive fists.

“Fuck,” you hear him mutter. He squeezes his eyes closed and wraps his palm around your face, fingers pinching your cheeks, “You asked for it.”

He swings you by your neck, your legs releasing him as your body falls to the ground with a loud thud, a small wave of energy tousling the ground next to you. Bakugo has you by the throat now, eyes wandering over your face as he inspects you.

“Been training, huh loser?” Bakugo juts his knee into your stomach and you force yourself to withhold from choking on your own spit. Your eyes bug out of your head at the pain but all you do is scrape and claw against his arms and torso, silently begging him to release you.

You glare up at him before reaching out to lick at his palm, thankful for once that neither of you are in your full hero get up. You’re somewhat surprised to taste ashen sweetness on your tongue, but it takes him off guard long enough for you to slap his arm away and stand to your feet.

“You fucking licked me?!”

You shrug, running towards him while he’s still on his knees. Your knee cap pushes into his chest, toppling him to the ground. You’ve knocked the breath out of him, his eyes rolling back in his head as he settles in the ground.

“Yield,” you ask of him, holding him by the throat. “C’mon, Baku, call it.”

The scent of smoke drifts to your nostrils and you barely have time to shake your head before a non-lethal explosion takes your attention away from him. Before he can get the jump on you, you propel yourself backward, flipping twice until you’re far enough away that you feel safe.

“Shows you, fuckin’ lickin’ me,” Bakugo rolls his eyes and his palms are like lighters, sparking as he stalks towards you.

You won’t be bested by him, not after all of the hard work you’ve been putting in for the past few months. You’re thankful that your own quirk is something opposing to his - water manipulation. In the same way that he can pool his sweat and light it on fire, you can turn yours into a weapon.

You call forward the water from your body and the water in the air into your palm, molding it into shards of ice on your fingertips. You start to sling the projectiles towards Katsuki as he walks closer. He dodges them with ease, but the final one slides across his cheek, drawing blood.

Everything inside of you churns at the sight of his eyes hardening, jaw quivering under the stress of his teeth as he grinds them together. He chuckles and it’s dark, but it stirs something in you - now you know he’s giving it his all, so when you win, it’ll be a justified win.

“I’m about to kill your ass,” Bakugo swipes the collected blood off of his face with his thumb, staring you down. “You’re damn lucky that I’m not wearing my gauntlets. I’d light your ass on fire before you even had time to use that shitty quirk of yours.”

You start working on pulling more water from the air, thankful that it’s a rather humid day. Now, if only it could rain. Then Bakugo would be completely out of his element and you would be more than comfortable.

“My shitty quirk just marked up your pretty face, ‘Suki.”

He charges at you and the two of you trade blows for what feels like hours. You have to stay at least a little ways away from him at all times if possible, his quirk only short range without his gauntlets. You’re glad that your quirk is able to become a ranged weapon if necessary.

Bakugo is much faster without his heavy suit, though, and you’re not ready for him to chase you, right on your heels as you try to put distance between the two of you. You lean down and swipe your feet around his ankles, but it seems he was ready for it because he jumps over the top of you and lands just in front of you.

“Not gonna get that one over on me again,” he snarls but it’s just on this side of a smile, his eyes lifting upward as he tangles with you again.

You tilt your head as you block one of his punches, “Am I turning you on, ‘Suki?”

“Shut the hell up,” he grunts.

“Your face is bleeding again,” you comment, twisting his hands in your grasp, hearing his wrist pop under the action. You wince but he shows little reaction to the pain, “Why don’t you clean it up, huh?”

The comment stops you in your tracks and allows him the opening to slam into you, pushing you across the greenway until you’re stumbling over your own body. You suck the water out of the surrounding plants, balling it up in your fists to create your own version of his gauntlets.

“Get over here, and maybe I will!” You call, raising your fists. He’s already sprinting toward you, but you use the remaining water on the ground to propel yourself upward, the spray of it blinding him long enough for you to encase his body in ice.

You’re gritting your teeth, keeping this part of your quirk is especially difficult given that you haven’t had time to hone it, unlike the other ways you know how to manipulate water. You can barely get the words out of your mouth, “Yield, Katsuki!”

You know that he’ll die from asphyxiation or hypothermia before he can blast his way out of your trap. His eyes widen from within the crystalline cage and your lower lip shakes - you were really hoping not to have to use this move, but he’s proven himself to you time and time again that he’s continuously climbing the ladder to get better.

“Yield!” you shout, your blood vessels straining against your skin.

His eyes close and it’s the closest thing to a yield that you’re going to get. As soon as you can, you drop the ice, the surrounding area flooding, the ground turning soggy beneath his feet.

Despite the absolutely enraged look on his face, you approach him and brush your thumb over his cheek, using the water from his face to heal his scratch.

“There,” you let out a breath at the exertion, “now you’re pretty again.”

Bakugo snatches your wrist harshly, glowering down at you, “Enjoy that, because you’re not going to beat me with that stupid quirk of yours again.”

Your jaw quivers but you ask the question anyway, “C-Could you ever see me as your equal, now that I’ve beaten you?”

“If I had my gauntlets, your stupid ice cage would have been toast!” Katsuki is shouting, his grip on your wrist tightening. You try your hardest not to wince but it does not go unnoticed by him as he makes the connection.

He shakes his head, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you that hard.”

“No, it’s fine, I,” your breath catches in your throat, “I shouldn’t have made you angry, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you get it?” he growls, yanking you closer, only softer this time. “You always make me angry.”

If you weren’t confused before, you sure are now. You know that Bakugo has a naturally hot-headed temperament, but you never expected him to attribute some of it to you.

“Gah, you’re such an idiot!” Bakugou runs a hand through his hair before blowing a breath out of his mouth, attempting to calm himself down. He really doesn’t want to screw this up. “Every time I see you, I get this, this stupid knot in my stomach. And it just pisses me off! Why are you different?”

You want to laugh because it appears he’s experiencing feelings for the first time, but you don’t want to make him feel humiliated. Instead, you reach your palm upward and wrap your fingers around his wrist, “You make me feel different too, Katsuki.”

He rolls his eyes, “Great. So we’re both fucked.”

This time you do laugh, but only because he’s so blunt. You know better than to touch him excessively, especially in public, “I guess so. Maybe we can fuck together?”

You’ve never seen Bakugo Katsuki’s eyes go so wide.

a/n: well, that was a bit different but still the same lol. not tagging anyone this time bc i don’t want to be a bother :) i hope you guys liked that. feel free to request more/others!

#bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x you #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki x you #bakugo x you #bnha x you #my writing #morgan writes bnha

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infinitebells · 4 years

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so, angst. being moran's childhood bsf so when he becomes colonel you're like "you better come back or i'm dragging you back haha" and he teases you bc "aw you love me that much you'll actually go to war?" and he sees how upset you genuinely are and he's like "of course i'm coming back" but surprise u hear he's kia and you're a wreck so when he DOES come back you're a mess of tears and sputtering bc "you were dead!" cut to him holding u in his arms and telling u he loves u - ruby anon

i have stayed up thinking about this for two nights straight and every time i do i change it up a bit so hopefully my thoughts are more coherent on paper. also i lowkey made myself cry writing this

✧ he was literally your best friend, you were never apart from him for more than a day unless one of your families was traveling

✧ you’d known him since you were both kids, having lived next to each other your entire lives

✧ you two would always be seen running around the town and laughing

✧ he was so so protective of you, he got into fights with boys who would tease you or make fun of you

✧ the older you two got, the more it was painfully obvious that you were in love with each other

✧ through your teenage years he’d do anything to have alone time with you, sneaking into your room at midnight to stay up and talk with you, pulling you to a random meadow so you guys can have lunch, anything to be with you

✧ as you got older though, your parents were less inclined to let you two hang out since moran needed to focus on his education and you needed to learn how to be a ‘proper lady’

✧ hence the need to sneak into your room in the middle of the night to spend time with each other

✧ when he found out he had made colonel and he was being shipped off in two weeks, he was devastated that he had to leave you

✧ that night you could tell something was off with him, he was quieter than usual and couldn’t meet your gaze

✧ when you asked him what was wrong, he didn’t say anything at first, until he reached out and pulled you into his lap so that your legs jutted out over his left leg and the temple of your head was pressed to his chest

✧ he could barely get the words out, his voice so low he was scared you wouldn’t be able to hear, but the way your body stiffened slightly allowed him to realize you did

✧ he held his breath, waiting for you to say something until he felt you shift in his lap, turning so you could face him, legs straddling his waist before wrapping your arms around his waist and putting your head in the crook of his neck, congratulating him with a shaky voice for doing such a good job

✧ he holds you tighter against him, swallowing the lump in his throat

✧ he can feel you trembling in his arms, but he doesn’t say anything until you pull yourself out of his neck and give him a wobbly smile, tears in your eyes

✧ “you better come back or i’ll drag you back myself”

✧ he knows you’re just trying to be your usual sarcastic, witty self to try and push through the reality that the love of your life your best friend is leaving and may never come back

✧ he laughs, grabbing your face and keeping it gently in his hands

✧ “aw, you love me that much that you’ll actually go to war?”

✧ when he finishes talking, the tears in your eyes spill out involuntarily, and your head drops from his hands to try and hide your tears from him

✧ he realizes how upset you truly are, grabbing your face again and bringing your forehead to his, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs

✧ “i’m coming back princess, i promise”

✧ when you open your eyes and look up, you realize just how close your faces are

✧ your brain short circuits and every memory you’ve had with him flashes before your eyes, and you realize way too late that “oh fuck i’m so in love with him”

✧ meanwhile in his head, he’s thinking that even with tears in your eyes he’s never seen you look so beautiful

✧ so he brings your forehead to his lips, kissing it softly before pulling you back into him

✧ the next few nights he comes over, you barely talk

✧ he knows how upset you are, so he just keeps you in his lap, brushing his fingers through your hair and telling you random stories to keep your mind off of the fact that he’ll be gone soon

✧ the night before he has to leave, you’re both deathly quiet

✧ you’re on different opposite ends of your bed, staring at the floor

✧ after another few minutes of quiet, you crawl over to him, pushing yourself into his lap so that your legs are once again over his legs and your head is resting just above his heart

✧ he doesn’t hesitate holding you close, breathing in the smell of your hair

✧ you’re scared to ask him your next question, but you push through with a very shaky voice

✧ “can you please just hold me and stay the night?”

✧ he’s quiet, terrified that this could be the last time he gets to hold you

✧ “anything for my princess”

✧ you nod against him, pulling your blanket up over you two before he settles so he’s lower on your headboard, one arm secured around your waist and the other stroking your hair

✧ that night is the only time he allows himself to cry, tears hitting the top of your head

✧ he knows you’re crying, he can feel your body shaking, but he doesn’t say anything. there isn’t anything he can say to make this any better

✧ but when he hears a choked sob, he holds you even closer to him, his eyes scrunching up because when he hears your cries, when he can feel how badly you’re shaking, he never wants to leave you

✧ you’re full on sobbing now, hiccuping every so often as you hide your face in his chest, hands balled up in his shirt

✧ he runs his hands over your back, kissing the top of your head, trying to comfort you

✧ in a spur of the moment decision, he starts humming a tune that had always been one of your favorites, hoping it would help

✧ he feels your shaking start to stop, your cries quieting, the only noise coming from you now is just occasional sniffles

✧ when you finally fall asleep on him, your tear stained face peaceful once again, he stares for a few minutes committing to memory the scene of you sleeping on his chest, hands clutching tightly onto his shirt with his arms around you

✧ once he starts to see the sky lightening, he slowly maneuvers you off of him, staring down at you one last time before leaving his ring with an ‘m’ engraved on it on your nightstand, as well as a note

✧ “i’ll come back for you princess. our story isn’t over yet, i still have things i want to tell you ok?”

✧ when you wake up and see the note and ring, you don’t hesitate to slip the ring on, putting the note in a box of your most precious keepsakes

✧ the first week he is gone, you’re utterly silent

✧ your parents heard that moran was getting deployed, and they knew you were close, so they didn’t try to comfort you because they knew you’d be inconsolable

✧ after a few weeks, you start talking more, but they know you’ll be off unless he’s back home

✧ your friends can’t say anything to help, you just change the subject every time, refusing to hear anyone talk about it

✧ it isn’t until three years later, when you’re 26 years old and he would be 28, his parents ask for you to come to their house

✧ when you get there, his mom’s eyes are red and his father is solemn

✧ your heart drops at the sight, and when they finally spit out the fact that he was killed in action, you stop breathing

✧ everything is a haze, the way they hand you his jacket that he wanted to give to you, his pocket watch that he’d left for you, and a letter he’d written in case he died on the field

✧ you don’t remember how you got home, but when your parents see you with his jacket and the watch with the letter, they know something awful has happened

✧ no tears have left your eyes, but you can hear your mom crying against your dad as you robotically make your way to your room, dropping yourself on your bed

✧ with shaky hands, you open the letter he left

✧ “hey princess. if you’re reading this, that means i broke our promise, and i’m so sorry that i did. my only motivation to come back home was you, and i’m eternally sorry for the fact that i can’t come home and be with you. there was still so much i wanted to do, to say, but i suppose i can tell you here. i love you. not the way that family loves each other but the way that i’m so desperately in love with you that when i think about you my heart beats two times faster, my palms get sweaty, and i can’t help but smile. i wanted to make you mine when i came home, but that can’t happen anymore. i’d give anything to hold you in my arms the way i did before i left, you looked so beautiful in my arms. god i miss you so much. i gotta go princess, but please know i love you so much, even in death. p.s. please keep the jacket, pocket watch, and ring. don’t get sad when you look at them, just remember all the good memories we had okay?”

✧ that’s when the tears fall, and then they don’t stop

✧ you’re screaming, sobbing, and your parents can’t do anything to calm you down

✧ your dad runs to get a doctor because the only way you’ll calm down at this point is with a sedative

✧ your mom holds you but you can’t say or do anything except cry, and cry, and cry because your childhood friend, your best friend, the one you’ve been in love with for years is gone, and you never got to tell him

✧ once the doctor gives you the sedative, your dad goes to the moran household to give her condolences, and your mother stays by your side, wiping your sleeping face with a damp cloth

✧ when you wake up, you’re completely numb

✧ after reading his letter for the first time, you put it in your box along with the note he left you before he first left

✧ for the next few weeks, you don’t speak to anyone. you’re mute, only doing work around the house, saving up for your own place because you can’t bear the thought of being in your room without him

✧ after two months, you leave your parents house, getting your own apartment

✧ your parents are understanding of the fact that you need space to yourself to get away from everything

✧ they help you move, and once you’re finally in your apartment, all you can think of is how badly you wish he was here to live in it with you

✧ you collapse on the floor, crying silently for the first time since you found out that he had died

✧ you had been wearing his jacket because it was cold outside, so you pull it even tighter around you, feeling like your chest was caving in on you from the way your heart throbbed painfully

✧ you didn’t stop crying for an hour, and when you finally did, you grabbed his watch off the kitchen counter, walking out and going to the nearest bar because you needed to be inebriated

✧ by the time you sit down at the bar, you’re completely unaware of your surroundings

✧ you signal the bartender for a whiskey, wanting to indulge in his favorite drink for old times sake

✧ as you’re sipping your glass, without your knowledge, moran is in the corner, drinking his own whiskey

✧ he hasn’t stopped thinking about you ever since he had been pronounced killed in action, wondering what you were feeling

✧ you on the other hand are so caught up in your drink you don’t acknowledge the man who slides onto the barstool next to you

✧ he taps your shoulder, and you turn to see him smiling at you

✧ he introduces himself, and you only nod before turning back to your drink, already tired of the social interaction

✧ he slides closer, asking if you’re here alone, and you nod once again, not even bothering to look at him

✧ he continues to flirt with you, and you only give half hearted replies, getting tired of him already

✧ once you feel his hand come to rest on your thigh, you fly up and clock him in the jaw, sending him flying off the stool and onto the floor

✧ everyone in the bar, including moran, looks up at the commotion

✧ he’s frozen, watching you stand furiously over this man who’s cowering on the floor before you

✧ “i’m very obviously wearing another man’s jacket, i’ve got a ring on my finger, i’m barely responding to you and you still continue to flirt with me? my husband died in the war two months ago but before he left he still taught me how to fight so unless you want your ass beat, i suggest learning some fucking boundaries,”

✧ with that, you storm out of the bar, and moran in a trance follows you, kicking the guy on the floor on the way out

✧ you’re fuming, shaking in anger, so much so that you don’t realize that moran is following you, in awe of how much more beautiful you’ve gotten

✧ by the time you’ve reached your apartment, you’re still shaking, but this time you’ve got tears in your eyes

✧ when you hear a knock on the door, you wipe your eyes and open the door

✧ there stands colonel sebastian moran, and you can’t breathe

✧ he’s there, in a jacket matching yours, black pants, black boots with a brown top, and a gray button up underneath his jacket

✧ his hair is longer now, and he’s bulked out, much taller than you compared to before when he was only three quarters of a foot taller, but he’s here

✧ “so i’m your husband now? i’d love to have had an invitation to the wedding”

✧ he sounds more in awe that you’re here in front of him, but hearing his voice again makes everything crash down onto you, and you collapse on your knees sobbing

✧ he rushes down to your level, closing the door before catching you before you hit the ground, holding you impossibly close to his chest as he devolves into tears, his heart breaking at your heart wrenching sobs

✧ “you were dead! you were dead, you were gone, and, and-“

✧ “i’m here. i’m here and i’m not leaving i promise”

✧ you pull back from his chest to grab his face and smash your lips onto his, tears still streaming down both of your faces

✧ his arms envelop your waist, both of you kneeling on the ground with your lips on each other’s

✧ your kiss is desperate, needing to feel him against you to know he’s really there and not just a figment of your imagination

✧ he kisses you back with just as much fervor, his body pressed to yours because it’s been almost three years and he needs to feel you against him once again

✧ when you finally pull back, you aren’t crying out of overwhelming sadness and shock, you’re smiling with tears of joy in your eyes, foreheads resting against each other

✧ “i’m in love with you sebastian”

✧ “i’m in love with you too princess, but i was supposed to be the first one to say it”

✧ you laugh through your tears, holding him closer to you because he’s finally home in your arms

✧ he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you to your bedroom before laying down against the headboard with you in his arms and on his lap

✧ he peppers kisses all over your face, holding your face in his hands once again

✧ he pulls back once again, looking you up and down

✧ “you look really beautiful in my jacket princess”

✧ “i’d look good out of it too”

✧ his eyes widen before he’s flashing you that smirk that always has you swooning

✧ he promises that he’ll get you out of everything you’re wearing another day, but for now he just wants to hold you again in his arms

✧ he pulls both of your jackets off, kicking his shoes off as you take your own off, before he’s pulling you back to him

✧ you fit perfectly in his arms once again, and when he has your head resting against his chest once again, with your blanket pulled up over you two, he has to hold back tears of happiness feeling you with him once again

✧ “how about tomorrow we start planning that wedding that i missed huh?”

✧ “i knew you’d bring that up”

✧ “well i was planning on marrying you once i came back, and i still intend to”

✧ “good, i wouldn’t want anything else”

#yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #sebastian moran #bells responds #bells’s ruby anon

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stxphxn-strange · 4 years

Text

nalgenes and french toast

a/n: Tony angst for my college au ft. sweet ThorBruce/Odinson family moments just bc, and Stephen doing the most bc he loves tony more than anything

Anthony was honestly amazed at how well he could hold back his anguish. He woke up from one of the worst dreams of his life, just barely suppressing a cry that should have woken up Stephen beside him and Wong across the room. To his credit, Wong was a reasonably heavy sleeper and was less likely to be disturbed/woken up. On the other hand Stephen had a sixth sense for when Anthony was upset and could tell, even in his sleep, when he had nightmares. Anthony found it both incredible and pathetic that he managed to wake up and slip out of the room without waking up his boyfriend.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want Stephen to comfort him, he did. More than almost anything, Anthony wanted to be lulled by sweet nothings and comforting words until he fell asleep again, but that could come after he dealt with his emotional outburst. He just woke up from a dream where his beloved mother did a 180, caring for/about him as much (or as little) as Howard Stark did, and the thought of that ever happening was devastating. Maria was always warm and loving even when Anthony was at his worst, and she was his biggest supporter next to Stephen, so of course he was scared to relive that dream or lose her love in the waking world.

Anthony knew he could call his mother and talk to her, and she’d comfort him as soon as she realized he was upset. But what if she didn’t?What if someday she did stop loving him? What if the few people in his life who genuinely cared just decided that they were done dealing with him, and his sensitivity wasn’t a strength, but a reason to leave him? He wouldn’t even be worth it to associate with, not even because of his name and subsequent influence. Anthony didn’t think he was good for much besides being available for people to leech off of anyway, he was just a worthless, crying mess in the living room. He was just a coward.

He buried his head and curled up into a little ball, trying not to wake up Stephen or any of the others. What would they think if they saw him like this? Stephen had seen Anthony cry before, and he wasn’t likely to judge. Anthony never judged his boyfriend when he cried, but he didn’t want to be seen in this state. They could all change their minds about him if they saw how upset he was from a stupid nightmare.

There was too much at stake. Crying alone was safer.

++++

It always annoyed Stephen when he woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was thirsty. If he woke up at a certain time of night, it was damn near impossible to go back to sleep. Luckily it was only 2:16. He’d probably be able to fall back asleep before 3:00, even after going to the kitchen and filling up his Nalgene.

He slid out of bed, putting his socks back on when he realized that Anthony wasn’t beside him. Stephen wasn’t too worried, figuring he was just in the bathroom or enjoying a 2am snack. The living room lights were on, further leading Stephen to believe that Anthony was secretly eating one of his snacks (which he never minded, Anthony often forgot to eat and Stephen was used to his boyfriend taking food from him). But he didn’t find anything wholesome like Anthony eating Pretzel Goldfish, he instead stumbled into something heart-wrenching. Anthony was crying on the loveseat, wrapped in a blanket and still wearing the shirt he’d taken from Stephen that night.

Honestly, it went beyond just silent crying. Anthony’s entire body shook with powerful sobs, and even from the kitchen Stephen could see the effort it was taking him not to scream. What was wrong? Why would Anthony suddenly cry alone when he usually confided in him?

Stephen cleared his throat. “Hey, Ant?”

Anthony started, realizing that he wasn’t alone. “I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Stephen replied, setting his water bottle down and sitting beside his boyfriend. “I didn’t mean to scare you. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I...” Anthony shook his head, burying his face in his hands as he fought back another sob.

“Do you want a hug?” Stephen asked.

Anthony nodded desperately. “Please, I can’t do this on my own anymore, I can’t—”

Stephen pulled Anthony close, wrapping the blanket around the both of them and softly stroking his boyfriend’s back. “You don’t have to deal with anything alone, Anthony. I promise.”

Anthony nodded again, pressing himself closer to Stephen. “I do, or else everyone will leave me. Everyone will change their minds about wanting me around, and why wouldn’t you?”

“Hey, look at me,” Stephen said, gently cupping Anthony’s face and gazing into his teary brown eyes. “I won’t ever change my mind about you, and you’ll always have me.”

“I’m not good enough,” Anthony muttered. “For you to stay, I mean. And hasn’t it been insufferable, knowing me for all this time?”

“What? No, of course not love,” Stephen replied. “Never. There’s legitimately no one I would have rather had by my side growing up and going through life with. Everyday I get closer to you and I want that forever. There won’t ever be a day where I don’t want you in my life, as my significant other and as my best friend. You’re my everything, Anthony Stark, everything.”

Anthony did sob then, clutching fistfuls of Stephen’s shirt and holding him tightly as his emotions took the wheel.

“It’s okay,” Stephen soothed, hugging him even tighter. “I’ve got you, I’m never letting go. I’ll always be here, I swear.”

Anthony didn’t respond, he couldn’t. He was crying too hard to speak, worked up from Stephen’s words. They cut down his fears like an axe to a tree, but did he deserve such unconditional love? Why did Stephen still bother with him?

Stephen kissed his head softly, humming a relaxing tune to try and calm him down. It didn’t take long, it was still quite late and Anthony’s exhaustion was starting to take over.

He yawned. “Sorry for keeping you up.”

“Don’t apologize. I’d never ignore you crying, no matter how tired I was, and I wouldn’t go to sleep without knowing you’re okay,” Stephen replied. “What happened?”

“Hm?” Anthony was a little zoned out, listening to Stephen’s heartbeat in his ear.

“Why you come out here anyway?” Stephen asked gently, kissing him again.

“I woke up from a bad nightmare and felt really shaken. I knew I was upset the minute I woke up, and I didn’t want to wake you up over something that stupid,” Anthony confessed. “But I don’t have it in me to talk about it right now, Steph.”

“You don’t have to,” Stephen said. “Do you think you’d be able to go back to sleep?”

Anthony shrugged. “Maybe. I’m tired.”

“Hold on a minute. I have an idea,” Stephen said. He stood up, booping his boyfriend’s nose. “Wait here.”

Anthony rested his head on his arms while he waited, his eyelids growing heavier by the second. He was fighting to keep them open the entire time Stephen was gone (and he wasn’t even gone for that long), his eyes almost closed when Stephen returned. He didn’t pay much attention to what Stephen was doing, almost asleep when Stephen turned the lights off.

“Okay, c’mere,” Stephen said, inviting Anthony to cuddle again.

The engineering student moved clumsily into his boyfriend’s waiting arms, faintly registering something soft underneath them where the floor should have been. He hummed in question, snuggling closer to Stephen.

“You know how we sometimes slept on the cushions when I visited family in Italy with you?” Stephen asked. “A few years ago, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Anthony murmured, wrapping his arms around Stephen’s neck and resting his head on his shoulder. “We fell asleep on the deck the first night, watching the stars. I think Natasha has a photo either for our wedding or for blackmail purposes. Maybe both.”

Stephen smiled at the memory and at the thought of someday marrying him. “I wanted to recreate those nights, hence the couch cushions and all the blankets, to try and make you smile.”

Anthony hugged him tighter. “I love it. And I love you.”

“I love you so, so much,” Stephen replied, beginning to stroke Anthony’s back again. “And you know you can talk to me about anything. I’ll never judge you, I’m here for you no matter what.”

“I know, sometimes it just still doesn’t click that people actually want me in their lives,” Anthony said.

Stephen’s heart broke at the admission. “Believe me when I say this: I’ll always want you.”

Anthony didn’t respond verbally, hugging Stephen closer and finally allowing himself to relax. “I’m really tired,” he mumbled later, shifting slightly into another comfortable sleeping/cuddling position.

“Get some sleep,” Stephen encouraged him, kissing his hair.

“You’ll stay with me?” Anthony asked.

Stephen was overcome with love for Anthony, but also by a feral desire to protect him from anyone who ever tried to hurt him again. “Of course I will, and I don’t just mean tonight. I love you.”

Anthony yawned. “Love you most.”

Stephen hushed him softly, rolling his eyes at how argumentative Anthony could be even when he was this exhausted. “Goodnight, dumbass.”

++++

Stephen was the first to wake up, rudely awakened by the sound of the door slamming.

“Was anyone going to tell me that Thor is in love with me?” Bruce asked.

“How could you not know?” Wong asked.

“To be fair, the first time I told Anthony I loved him he thought I meant it platonically,” Stephen replied, looking fondly at his still-sleeping boyfriend. “I did have to clarify for him. But Bruce, it’s clear as day. What prescription are your glasses?”

Bruce flipped Stephen off from across the room.

“How is it that our two (2) smartest friends are also complete idiots?” Hela asked. “No offense Bruce, and I’d again like to welcome you to the family.”

“He basically already lives with us,” Loki muttered in mock complaint. He really didn’t have anything against Bruce, but he did have an image to maintain.

Wong cleared his throat. “Are you calling me a complete idiot? Because I’m clearly smarter than the entire group combined.”

“You’re also SHOUTING,” Anthony replied, now awake and glaring sleepily.

“Sorry Ant, but this isn’t the first time I’ve accidentally woken you up,” Wong said. “It probably won’t be the last.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me,” Anthony conceded. He looked over at Stephen. “Kiss?”

Stephen nodded with a smile. He was expecting a sweet, sort of lazy kiss and was not expecting Anthony to grab his shirt and crush their lips together for a mini makeout session. Nevertheless, Stephen couldn’t complain. “Jesus.”

“Good morning,” Anthony said impishly.

“You’re damn right it is,” Stephen replied, laying down again and pillowing his head on Anthony’s shoulder.

“Get a room,” Loki yelled, his mouth full of French toast.

tags: @ah3m @stark-strange-love @grumb-lin @maya-custodios-dionach @chocopiggy @majesticnerdynerd @spooky-n-spunky @ironstrange-chaos @kiwidino

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