#I gotta say was not what I would call an accomplished pet designer

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 4

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson &/x fem!gifted!reader Content: Nothing bad as such ;) A/N: HUGS! Just because I miss hugging people. Tags are open: just ask or reblog.

4. The Speed of Pain

…   Reader  …

Sitting on the bed, you’re completely absorbed by the gorgeous light show outside the window where gazillions of stars are drawn and condensed into a rim brighter than anything you could have imagined – at least compared to the orb the width of your thumb inside. A black hole. The term is familiar but that’s almost the only knowledge you have of the phenomenon, and most astronomers would probably kill to be in your place right now under the guise of “knowing more” or for the sake of “research”.

With a view as mesmerizing as that why would you bother turning when Loki enters and leaves by the whoosh of the door? You don’t.

Minutes drag by until a detail registers in your mind. Did the locks activate? Torn between hope and the nauseating confidence that you’re imagining things now, the few steps to the access panel are further away than ever before. Hands shaking, breath superficial, you reach up to poke the dark screen.

What the -?! It takes all your strength to keep standing as a couple of blue symbols present themselves, each with an obvious option. The reasonable thing would be to expect that it’s a trap and Loki it waiting just on the other side of that door to catch and punish you for trying to leave. On the other hand...maybe luck actually exists.

It’s unreal when the door slides into the wall to reveal a way out. Never has painted metal looked more inviting or as liberating, and you almost admire it for too long, barely slipping out as the gate to freedom begins to close.

The interior of what you since have learned to be a space ship had appeared dismal and claustrophobic when you arrived.

“Freedom.” The shakingly whispered word is all you can muster for now.

Looking around, your minimal knowledge of space travel tells you that you’re in a sort of cargo hold with cabins lining the sides towards a metal staircase leading up to the right at the very end. To the left is...nothing. Well, there’s a sort of ramp slanting up against a wall but even though you instinctively know that’s the real way out you also know it’s usual considering that thing called “space” outside, reducing the options to just two.

“You’re not ‘sposed to be out.”

The warbled, deep voice makes your cheek sting with the memory of pain. It doesn’t take long before the cool metal stops your frantic backpedalling, making Arox-or-whatever-he’s-called grin. Like a hyena just without the sound. The only way is around him.

“See’f you can catch me, then.”

As stupid as he’s repulsive, the man charges headfirst towards you, leaving you just enough time to slip out a piece of song that conjures a dense fog. Judging the distances by the sounds only, you press yourself to the wall just in time to avoid a collision with him – it does sound like he collides heavily with the metal you’d been backed against just a second ago: first a hard smack and a grunt, then a sound like a sack of lour hitting the ground.

Move, c’mon legs! Thankful for the support of the wall, you pass the closed door to your former confines as you aim for the edge of the fog and a clear view. At least there isn’t much to trip over, but you know you have to move fast or the mist will start spreading before dissipating as the magic fades, so your hands slide along the wall, feet gingerly probing the metal grate of the floor for fear there should be an unevenness.

In the haze, the blue lights of a door panel are eerie, ghost-like, and you can’t help but be comforted by the clear view as you access the room despite what you actually see. The layout is identical to yours the place is still less spartan thanks to the pile of leathery, inhumanly big clothing in one corner and the neat array of weapons on the table. What must be guns of the space variety flank some vicious knives with jagged handles and symbols etched into the blade. Tempted to take one, you also realize that they’d be as big as swords for you...not to mention that you have no idea how to fight with a weapon of that kind.

Quickly deciding to move on as the fog is thinning, the next two cabins flanking the staircase are empty which brings you to the one at the very end of this level. This gotta be Loki’s. Already, the little hairs on your body are standing, your feet itching to move away and you have to force yourself to walk up to it. Let him be upstairs. Or something. Blue lights glare accusingly at you, but no one complains as you have a look inside the place. Empty.

A few steps, the brush of a finger, then the door slides shut and you lock it behind you before getting to work. Confident that you don’t have much time, you ignore the muzzled, silk sheets on the bed and the clothes dangling from hanger in an open cabinet. No, it’s the personal trinkets and the row of old-looking books that are of interest to you – at least until you realize you can’t read a single word and the thingamabobs are nothing more than writing tools, pretty drinking glasses, and something akin to a chess set.

“If I were an insane killer alien...where would I hide anything personal?” you mutter as you keep searching, now head deep into his closet.

“Tsk tsk.” The sound makes you freeze with the fingers around a leather belt. “Haven’t we learned our place yet, little pet?”

...  Loki   ...

Green and black shimmer in the shadows as [Y/N] straightens her back. “Leaving the door to my prison unlocked wasn’t an invitation?”

“A test.” He can’t help chuckling at the sight of muscles working in her shoulders and arms as though she’s wringing her hands.

Her breath trembles. “One designed for me to fail if I did anything.”

From your point of view. Loki, however, has learned much more about the stubborn creature now than during the last fortnight by watching her actions. Unseen at the top of the stairs, the scene between the attempted escapee and [Y/N] played out to reveal more of the nature of the magic in her blood and her tenacity. It had even surprised him when the weapons were left untouched.

“As fun as this has been,” he smiles, “it’s time to return to your own...cell.”

A lesser man, a mortal, would not have seen the leather belt whipping towards his face as she turns around but being a god, Loki catches it in the air even before the air cracks at the force behind the attack of the insolent girl. It stings his skin, but the eyes widening with fear in her face is a balm to soothe the worst of wounds.

“Pray tell: what did you intend to accomplish with that?” He tugs sharply and secures the entirety of the belt, and still she doesn’t answer. “Was it a blunt attempt to prove your strength of spirit even under less than favourable circumstances? A, shall we say, display of force of will?” Stepping close to her, the Jotun slips the leather around her neck – spicy, cold fear fills his nostrils immediately. “Or did you simply not...think?” One wrong word and Loki will cut it short.

Pupils have dilated with fear. The lips caught between her teeth. Still the jaw is set stubbornly as if to prove that regardless of every thought (if any) before the rebellious action has a strong foundation in which to grow. Loki will savour the thrill of breaking her slowly, watching her crumble to be rebuild in his image. Or to die.

“Do as I wish, mortal. Heal the priestess and I may let you go home.”

[Y/N] hesitates, brows furrowing as she tried to determine the odds and figure out where the catch lies. “Liar.”

“So you’d rather let the priestess suffer a slow, painful death than have a chance at freedom?” He can see the protests boiling within her even if she stubbornly refuses to retort. “I suppose we’ll see in a few days’ time.”

[bucky-of-the-opera]

Just Desserts

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: A dessert thief brings about the unlikely duo of Bucky Barnes and Y/N

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,800ish

A/N: This is for mermaidxatxheart’s 500 Followers Writing Challenge! This takes place at the Avengers Compound in an alternate universe where they all live together. My prompt is “They told me you’re the guy to see.” “For what?” “Murder.”

The beeping from your alarm woke you from your slumber. And the warmth of your bed was so soothing that you almost turned the thing off and went back to sleep. Almost. But skipping one of Captain America’s mandatory training sessions was like signing your own death warrant. One of the other recruits had once made the mistake of arriving late for training, and was asked to stay behind afterwards. To this day, no one knows what Captain America said or did to the recruit, but that was the last day he was seen at the compound. So, you begrudgingly rolled out of bed. 

The day consisted of intense endurance training that had your body aching by the end of it. One hot bath later, and you were back in your comfortable pajamas, walking to the kitchen designated for the recruits. There was a slice of pie sitting in the refrigerator that you had been saving, and it was calling your name. 

You pulled the door open and grabbed the container. It felt lighter than you remembered. You removed the lid to find a note in place of the pie. 

Pie will interfere with your training regimen.

— S. Wilson

P.S. It was delicious

You crumpled up the paper, shoved it in your pocket, and stormed back to your room. There was no way Wilson was getting away with this, even if he was an Avenger. He was going to pay, and you were going to get help from the best to make sure of it.

The next morning, you marched into the main kitchen where you found the man you had been searching for: Bucky Barnes.

He was sitting at the table alone, reading a newspaper. You marched over toward the table and pulled out the chair across from him; it screeched to announce your presence.

Bucky lowered the paper just enough so that he could watch you as you plopped down in front him. He was intrigued; the recruits were usually too intimidated by him to even glance in his direction. And yet, here you were.

“Can I help you?” he asked, looking back at the paper.  

“I believe you can, Sergeant Barnes. I’m Y/N; a new recruit.” You rested your hands on the table, interlocking your fingers. “They told me you’re the guy to see.” 

He flipped to another page. “For what?” 

“Murder.”

That caught his attention. Bucky set down the newspaper and looked fully at you. 

“You know I’m not a mercenary anymore, right? I’m an Avenger; which means I’m only allowed to kill someone if I have permission from people who hold important positions. And you…” he trailed off, looking you up and down before meeting your eyes. “You are not one of those people.”

He leaned back in his chair and resumed his reading. 

You took a moment to compose yourself after his harsh, albeit honest, statement. “Okay,” you said as you cleared your throat, “maybe ‘murder’ was the wrong word. What about something a little less permanent?”

Bucky glanced at you. “Like what?”

You tapped your knuckles on the table. “I don’t know; something that sends a message.”

He huffed. “Why not send a strongly worded email instead?”

The man was infuriating, you thought. No wonder people tend to avoid him. Before you could respond, he spoke again. 

“Out of curiosity,” Bucky began, “who’s the target?”

You paused before announcing his name. “Sam Wilson.”

The corners of Bucky’s mouth twitched upwards at the mention of his teammate’s name. Dare you say it was a smile? But just as fast as it appeared, it had already vanished. “Birdbrain, huh? What did he do to get on your bad side?”

“He stole my pie.”

“Your pie?” he asked, incredulously.

You nodded. “And I have proof.” You pulled the slightly crumpled paper out from your pocket and slid it across the table toward Bucky. “He left this note in the container.”

“That’s his chicken scratch,” Bucky confirmed. “But why don’t you just take it up with him? I’m sure he’d buy you another pie if you asked nicely.”

“You don’t understand; my uncle baked it. There’s people who wait all year for his pies.” You leaned forward. “Sergeant Barnes, I wait all year for his pies. The man has perfected the pumpkin pie and the apple pie. Any other bakery or store bought replacement would be an insult–”

“All right, all right,” he interrupted, rubbing his face. “Forget I asked. But why do you need my help? Can’t you come up with some brilliant plan all on your own?”

You rubbed your arm, glancing down. “Well, I could. It’s just… he’s an Avenger. And I’m a recruit…”

“You think you’ll get fired if you retaliate?”

“That, or I’ll mysteriously disappear. Never to be heard from again.”

Bucky chuckled. “You recruits have been listening to too many rumors.” He considered you carefully before saying, “Okay.”

“Okay?” you repeated. 

He nodded. “I’ll help you.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank you so much, Sergeant Barnes!”

“Bucky,” he corrected you.

You smiled. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He gave you a tight-lipped smile in return. “So, now we have to figure out how to hit Wilson where it hurts. Lucky for you, I may already have an idea or two in mind.”

***

After much consideration, you and Bucky had opted for the “eye for an eye” route. He told you that the plan was simple enough that he would take care of everything. You just had to act normal and not draw any unnecessary attention toward yourself. Which hopefully wouldn’t be too hard. 

A few days later, you were back in the gym with the rest of the recruits. Steve had split the group up into sparring pairs and had asked Bucky to help him oversee the day’s training. You had begun the match with your opponent when Sam entered the gym and made a beeline for Bucky who had stopped his rounds to observe you. 

“Have you seen Redwing anywhere? He’s not with any of my gear,” Sam said.

His presence had distracted you and caused you to lose your footing. Which allowed your opponent to pin you onto the mat. 

“Mind your footing, Y/L/N.” Without tearing his eyes away from where you lie on the ground, he responded to Sam. “I haven’t seen your pet anywhere, Wilson. You should really take better care of your belongings.”

You were struggling to break free of your opponent’s grip while simultaneously trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. You snuck a glance toward the two men. Bucky looked calm, almost bored. Meanwhile, Sam was irate. He opened his mouth to speak just as Bucky cut him off.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to teach here.”

Sam huffed. “I know you’ve got something to do with this. You don’t fool me.” He spun around and marched out of the room, in search of his missing drone. 

Bucky watched him leave before turning back to face you. He gave you a wink before finally moving on to observe the next pair. 

When your training session had ended, the recruits were dismissed. You hung back until just you and Bucky remained in the gym. He was staring at you with his arms folded.

“You’re gonna blow our cover from the get-go.”

“Sorry. I’ll be more cautious next time.” You rubbed your arm, staring at the ground.

He sighed. “What’s the matter?”

You hesitated before finally responding. “What’s going to happen when he finds out I was responsible for the kidnapping?”

“First of all, you can’t kidnap a drone. We’re simply borrowing it.”

You let out a chuckle, and he gave you a rare smile in return. 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about; Wilson will never know you were involved. As long as you don’t give us away,” he added.

You grinned at him. “Ya know, you’re not as scary as people say you are.”

“Yeah, well, don’t go spreading that around. I don’t need more recruits coming up to me and asking for favors.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Bucky.”

***

Several days had passed, and tensions between Sam and Bucky were still running high. The two sat on opposite sides of the couch in the common area, with Steve between them. Sam had grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels until he finally landed on a cake baking competition. 

“Man, a cake sounds so good right now,” Sam said. 

“Thought you’d be more of a pie guy,” Bucky mumbled.

“What was that, Tin Man?”

“I said that you seem more like a pie guy.”

“Hey, I don’t discriminate. I’m down for any kind of dessert.”

Bucky smirked. “Especially if it’s free, right?”

Sam narrowed his eyes at Bucky. “What are you talking about?”

“I may have heard from a little bird that you stole a pie from the recruits’ fridge. And before you deny it, I saw the note.”

Steve turned to Sam. “You stole a pie? And left a note?”

“It was in there for days, and there was no name on it! I figured whoever it belonged to had forgotten about it. And it would’ve been a shame for such a delicious pie to go to waste.”

Steve and Bucky both stared at Sam. 

“Ugh. Why are we even talking about pie when we should be talking about how you stole my drone?” He pointed at Bucky. 

“Did you steal Redwing?” Steve asked. 

“There’s no proof that it was me. And besides, even if I did steal it, I’d say it would make us even for the time you stole my arm.”

Sam chuckled. “You gotta admit, that was pretty funny though.”

“For you, maybe,” Bucky muttered.

“Bucky, give Sam his drone back. And Sam, stop eating the recruits’ food.” Steve shook his head. “Unbelievable. I train these rookies all day, and then I have to parent the two of you.”

“Whatever,” Bucky groaned before leaving the room. 

He was headed back to his bedroom when he crossed your path in the hallway. He stopped in his tracks.

“So, uh, Steve is making me give the drone back. But we drove Sam crazy for a few days, so I’d say we still accomplished our mission.”

“I’d say so too.” You smiled at him. “I know you’re busy and probably find recruits annoying, so, um, thank you for helping me.”

“Most recruits are annoying. But you’re…” his eyes met yours as he searched for the words to say. “... tolerable.”

“Bucky Barnes, you’re an actual teddy bear, aren’t you?”

A blush dusted his cheeks; he was at a loss for words. 

You laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Well, maybe we can mess with Sam again sometime.”

“I look forward to it,” he said, smiling back at you. “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

“See you, Bucky.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

What's your sleeping position? I sleep slightly turned to my left and propped up. How much did you spend the last time you went to a restaurant? I haven’t been to a restaurant in almost a year now, but I spent over $50 recently getting food from a restaurant delivered. I love the convenience of Doordash, but damn it’s expensive. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? Sorry, but I don’t find ANY bug cute. I’m afraid of all of them and find them all gross. I’m sure they’d say the same about me, so it’s mutual. Ha. Who started the conversation between you and the person you're currently texting? I'm not texting anyone right now. How long have you been on the computer? Over an hour this current session. I was on earlier, but got off to eat and stuff. Or do you mean how long total in my life? I’ve been using computers since I was in kindergarten in school, but my family and I got our first computer when I was 9. That’s when it really took off for me and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Whose birthday is coming up? What's your relation to them? My brother’s is next month. Have you ever had an argument with another survey-taker/maker? Nooo. The survey crew on here are awesome. Where is the farthest you've traveled this month? The only place I’ll be going is to my doctor, which is like a 5 minute drive away. What is somet​hing you wish you had more of? Energy. What is your state/province/region known for? I feel like when people think of California, they think of beaches and Hollywood. Have you ever had to spend the night at a hospital? Yeah, I’ve had to spend months in the hospital.  Do you put shopping carts back into their designated spot in the parking lot? I don’t use shopping carts because it would be hard for me to push and wheel myself at the same time, but yeah my mom always puts back the one we use. What is the population of the city you live in? *shrug* It’s a lot. What is the most common name you are called other than your given name? Steph or Sis. What's your homepage when you bring up the internet? Well, I keep my windows open and whatever I was on last, which is generally Tumblr and YouTube (I both because I have two windows open side by side so I can watch YouTube and do other things), is the first thing I see when I open my laptop. Google is my homepage, though, it’s what pops up when I open a new tab or window. Was the last book you read for fun or was it for some type of assignment? For fun. I love to read and do a lot of it. Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? I haven’t set any, but we’re barely a little over a week into the new year. What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? It just sucked because I slept in until like 5PM yesterday and with my family’s different schedules and just kind of doing our own things at that time (my dad was busy and my brother was relaxing and probably taking a nap cause he had to get up early for work the past two days and today as well), I hardly saw or spoke to anyone. My mom had been gone hours before I got up and hours after because she had to get stuff ready for our family friend who flew back home today that she’s a caregiver for and then go pick her up and help her get settled in at home and it ended up taking a long time. By the time she got home she just quickly ate and had to go to bed because she has to get up super early for work. :/ So yeah, I didn’t even really get to see or talk to her at all. My brother had to go to bed early, too, and my dad always goes to bed early, so I’ve been up alone since like 10PM and that’s early. Generally, my mom and brother stay up later than that. I have my whole nighttime routine where I just do my own thing and I like it, but I like being able to see and talk to my family before during the day, ya know? My nighttime alone time routine doesn’t start usually until like after midnight, so yeah 10PM was really early. Being that I did that the night before as well and sleeping in so late and hardly seeing/taking to anyone yesterday... it’s been a lot of alone time and I’m feeling kinda lonely. But whatever, I’m doing my nighttime routine and about to make my ramen and then probably just go to sleep. Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? No, I didn’t end up seeing them, but I found out later that they ended up doing something else. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? Like 16, I think.  What’s the last song you sang out loud? I don’t remember at the moment. Have you ever dated someone you met online? No. Do you wish you were taller or shorter? “I wish I was a little bit taller.” 🎶 What time did you go to bed last night? I crashed around 5AM, which is early for me. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. Do you think you’re fat? No. I’m actually too thin and underweight. Do you have a pet cat? Nope. If you had to get up at six AM tomorrow morning, would it be painful? I’d be up anyway since I generally stay up until like 7 or 8AM. That’s been my messed up sleep schedule the past year for whatever reason. Are you happy with life at the moment? No. I think that’s been made abundantly clear to anyone who has been following me and reads my answers. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Nooo. Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? You gotta put in the work and effort, too. What was the last thing you watched on the TV? King of Queens. What do you hear? An ASMR video. What’s the last beverage you had? I just drank some of my Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. Who came over last? We haven’t had anyone over since the pandemic hit. Are you thinking of getting another piercing and, if so, where? Nope. How many phones have you gone through? I’ve had like 7 or 8. Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? No, we moved here about 10 years ago. Do you own any band tees? Yeah, I have 3 Linkin Park shirts, a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt, and a couple Nirvana shirts. Do you like to drink wine? No. Or any alcohol. Do you think your future will be a good one? :/

[eldritchsurveys]

734.

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? >> I have, finally! Read it during my trip to Texas in January. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would; my quibbles are few. I want to see the movies but I also don’t want to see the movies -- what I want are... not those movies, pretty much. I’ll probably give the first one a shot at least, just so I know for sure exactly what I’m protesting against, lol.

When was the last time you ran into something? >> I don’t remember, I don’t do that often.

Do you enjoy dressing up? >> Yes, absolutely, mostly because I don’t get to do it often so it’s a novelty.

Do you live in the city or a rural area? >> I live in the outskirts of a city. So, kind of the suburbs, but not quite.

Would you say you have a sense of style? >> I mean, yeah.

What’s your biggest fear? >> Being terribly aware of my every dying moment and carrying that awareness into another life or something.

Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? >> No.

Are you close to any of your cousins? >> No.

Have you ever been lost in the woods? >> No.

Where did you last travel? >> For any significant distance? Houston, Texas.

Do you enjoy driving? >> I don’t drive. I enjoy driving being a part of my mythic self, though (my mythic self is called the Driver, you see).

What song did you last listen to? >> Sunlight by Hozier. Which was, of course, written specifically to call me out.

If you have a job, how often do you work? >> ---

What time do you normally go to sleep at night? >> Anywhere between 10.30p and 1a.

Do you watch a lot of movies? >> I do.

Do you like Tom Petty? >> I don’t.

Would you rather have snow or rain? >> Rain. Absolutely rain.

Do you own a lot of sweaters? >> No. I’m not sure I own any at all, actually -- oh, wait, I own exactly one. It’s a Hot Topic Christmas sweater and it says “Sleigher: Reindeer Blood” on it. I love it and I would live in it if I could.

Have you ever tried rock-climbing? >> Nope. Except on that small rock wall in the Museum of Science & Industry (pretty sure that’s where it was).

Ever ridden in a police car? >> Yes.

Favorite decade of music? >> I don’t have a favourite decade. I prefer listening to music from as many decades as possible.

Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? >> ---

Ever witnessed a murder? >> No.

Do you care what people think of you? >> I care what some people think of me.

Does your room have a ceiling fan? >> Nope.

Would you consider yourself poised? >> Not particularly. I never put any effort into it.

Have you ever tried blogging? >> Of course, lol.

Favorite television channel? >> I don’t have cable.

Have you ever lied under oath? >> No.

What are your religious views? >> Nebulous and subject to whim.

Are you a romantic person? >> No.

When did you last change your bed sheets? >> About an hour ago, actually. And I showered afterwards, so now I’m a clean boy in a clean bed. Livin’ the dream.

Would you consider yourself a flirt? >> No.

At what age do you plan to be married? >> 32, apparently.

Do you eat a lot of junk food? >> No. I really just don’t like a lot of the foods that are widely considered “junk”.

When did you last go on vacation? >> I guess the trip to Texas was kind of a vacation? But otherwise I’d say my wedding/honeymoon in October.

Are you resilient? >> Yeah. Like, I know I am. It’s been proven that I am. The fact I feel so fragile and wounded so often isn’t a contradiction of that fact.

Have you ever failed a subject before? >> I don’t think so.

If so, what was the class? >> Like, I should have failed English III because I got a zero on the midterm and the final, but I think the teacher gave me a D out of pity or whatever.

Do you wear more bright or dull colors? >> I don’t really wear colours at all. It’s not even an effort anymore, it really just seems that all of the clothing I’m willing to wear comes in black...

Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? >> Yes.

What’s your favorite quote? >> DAMMIT. I totally forgot about that quotes file I was going to keep on Evernote. I gotta work on that so I have answers for this question.

Would you consider yourself mature? >> I mean, I suppose I do okay. Being post-traumatic means I have some pretty child-like responses to things sometimes, but, you know. I’m doing my best.

How many clocks are in your house? >> There’s one on my wall, although there’s no battery in it because I can’t abide the noise. It’s just a decoration. (It’s one of those records that someone cut a design out of, it’s really cool.)

Do you play any sports? >> No.

What is your biggest life regret? >> ---

Have you ever been injured in a car accident? >> Nope.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? >> My mind went a lot of places with this question in 5 seconds flat, and I don’t even know how to unpack any of it. Half the shit I thought of didn’t even have anything to do with this lifetime.

Have you ever had highlights in your hair? >> No.

Favorite fast food restaurant? >> Meh.

In what country were you born? >> USA.

Are your eyes more than one color? >> Nope.

Have you ever caught something on fire? >> Accidentally? Yeah, a couple of times.

What would you consider your biggest flaw? >> I don’t know.

What do you think your best quality is? >> Curiosity and open-mindedness.

Do you enjoy listening to others’ problems? >> I’m not sure “enjoy” is the right word in this context, lol.

Do you keep any plants in your house? >> Yeah, Sparrow’s really into plants. I like them, but I tend to enjoy them more when they’re outdoors. Kind of like animals.

What is your mother’s occupation? >> ---

Do any of your friends like your musical style? >> At least some of it, I’m sure. I like way too much shit for me to have no music preferences in common with the average person.

What are you most looking forward to? >> That glorious day when I can just. Walk into a bar and have a drink and some lunch again.

What was your favorite television show as a child? >> I don’t think I had one.

Are you afraid of insects? >> Not as a rule.

Are you cold-natured? >> I don’t think so, but my 485745 defense mechanisms often make me appear so.

How old were you when you got your first pet? >> I was a toddler.

Did you / do you enjoy high school? >> I did not.

What would you say was your favorite age? >> ---

What annoys you most about social networking? >> The way it’s engineered.

Are you the center of attention most of the time? >> No.

What are you currently reading? >> Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death by Irvin D Yalom. It’s... not really giving me anything I can use, mostly because it doesn’t address the things I actually fear (like, no, I don’t fear not leaving behind a good legacy or whatever, I literally fear the awe-ful, terrible knowledge of my organs shutting down and shit like that, the helplessness of being pulled into the abyss. Literally. Not figuratively. This is a literal visceral thing I believe in. Also, I fear persecution by cosmic forces because I have internalised the idea that I am Bad and I will be Punished. Where is my book? I do like the title, though.), so I don’t know if I’m going to finish it. I might skim through it for a few decent nuggets like that one Nietzsche quote he used, “when we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago”. That was a good one.

When did you last go to the library? >> It’s been a while, since I usually just check out ebooks. Oh, wait, we went to the branch for a Black History Month event, so, February.

Are you ill at the moment? >> No.

Do people tease you about anything? >> I mean, Sparrow does. And some tumblr mutuals tease me about various aspects of my Brand, hah.

How late did you stay up last night and why? >> I think I dropped off at around midnight, idk. Because that’s just how it happened.

Have you ever written poetry? >> Sure.

Curtains or shades? >> I’m not sure what the difference is.

How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? >> One.

Do you tend to text a lot? >> No.

Ever lost a great best friend? >> ---

What is your favorite kind of flower? >> Sunflowers.

Do you own any guns? >> Absolutely fucking not.

What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? >> ---

Do you think you’re living a good life? >> I am doing my best with the life I have.

What’s your least favorite part of the day? >> I don’t have a least favourite part of the day.

Are you an over-achiever? >> No.

Have you ever won an award for a speech? >> No.

Do you tend to curse a lot? >> Sure.

Have you ever played on the Ouija board? >> Nope. I’ve never even seen one in person, except for seeing the box in a store or something.

Do you sleepwalk? >> No.

Have you ever slept on the floor before? >> Yeah, I did for years. I should probably have worse spinal alignment or something now, but I guess them’s the perks of doing shit like that while I was still young.

Are you a fan of public displays of affection? >> I don’t do well with physical affection whether in public or not, so, you know.

When did you last attend a yard sale? >> A couple of years ago?

Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? >> I like the level of simplicity I’m at right now.

What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? >> ---

When is your birthday? >> 28 May.

Which is worse: going blind or deaf? >> How would I know, I haven’t experienced either.

What was the best part of today? >> Visiting a mutual’s house in FFXIV, signing the guestbook, and then turning around and there was her character (and her girlfriend’s character) right behind me, lmao. We didn’t get to chat long because their dungeon queue popped, but it was still nice.

Do you attempt to stay away from drama? >> I don’t have to stay away from it, it’s never anywhere near me in the first place.

What liquid did you last drink? >> Gose.

Do you ever prefer to be alone? >> Often.

Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? >> No.

Favorite Disney movies >> Lilo & Stitch, Moana, and Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Have you ever been to the beach? >> Sure.

If you have, how many times have you been? >> Like... a few dozen? I don’t know.

What was your dream occupation at age ten? >> ---

Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? >> I don’t know if terrified is the right word, exactly, but something similar to that.

Do you drink a lot of water? >> Not a lot. I drink when I feel thirsty, and that just isn’t that often? I don’t know. Maybe I’m not good at recognising thirst cues, that’s a possibility.

Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? >> Carpet.

Do you take naps daily? >> No.

Who were you named after? >> I wasn’t named after anyone.

Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? >> Well, we had planned...

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? >> Maybe?

Have you ever been a teacher’s pet? >> When I was a child, I guess, because I was precocious and nerdy and adults are obsessed with that sort of thing for some reason.

What is your absolute favorite hobby? >> *shrug* What’s a hobby.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? >> One, provided I remember and have the executive function.

Ever been to a tanning bed before? >> No.

Are you satisfied with your financial stability? >> No matter what, I still have more financial stability than I did when I was literally penniless and living on the street, so I can deal.

Who is your favorite actor / actress? >> When it comes to people I’m always excited to see in a movie, Javier Bardem is one.

Are your nails painted? >> Nope.

What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? >> I don’t know, I’ve said a lot of mean things.

Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? >> Not accidentally, no. I do it on purpose, because it pleases me.

What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Vanilla bean and matcha are the only flavours I actually like and don’t just. tolerate.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? >> I don’t think I’ve ever kissed another agender person.

Do you receive any hate mail? >> No.

Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? >> When I was a kid.

If you could, would you have a pen pal? >> I don’t think I’d make a good penpal.

What color are the pants you’re wearing? >> Black with lime green print.

Have you ever had a stalker? >> No.

What is your life philosophy? >> I don’t have one.

Who last sent you a goodnight text message? >> ---

Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? >> I don’t own any gold clothing, no.

Have you ever been in a hot tub before? >> I tried a hot tub once, at Easton Mountain. Five seconds in, I felt faint and like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, so I had to get out.

What’s your favorite comedy movie? >> Blazing Saddles and The Producers come to mind.

In which year were you born? >> 1987.

[darkhymns-fic]

Bakery Rivalries of Love

Two couples, two bakeries, and the beginning of a rivalry that will only leave sweets in their wake. It's Ace Baker’s Maya Fey and Co. vs. Lloydonuts!

Fandoms: Ace Attorney, Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Phoenix Wright/Maya Fey, Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3  Notes: Written a long time ago just to include mine and SkyWrite's ships together in some way. Originally shorter, then added more to it to fit Valentine's Day but then that day passed.. so, Happy Late Valentines??? This thing is like a year old I'm sorry.

“We only use the finest nuts!” shouted a spiky-haired baker across the counter. He pounded the flat of his hands against it, kicking up spare flour into the air. His arm, in a furious motion, pointed straight at the lady’s face. “You’ll go nuts for our walnut bread!”

The small old lady from across the counter, her hair tied up in a silver bun, started to cough as a cloud of flour invaded her space. “Oh – oh dear…”

“Nick! We’ve been through this!” Maya shook her head at her baker assistant, meanwhile handing the old lady a paper bag full of freshly baked goods. “Sorry about that. Here’s your order! Have a nice day!”

Phoenix self-consciously scratched the back of his head. His apron was smudged from his furious dough kneading, while the sleeves of his suits also sported some stains. Why he insisted on wearing a suit to his job at the bakery, no one really knew. Just another one of Phoenix’s weird little quirks. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I just sometimes really want to point and shout…”

“Well, keep a lid on it! You’re scaring away the customers when you do that.” She clasped her hands before her, smiling wide as an idea lit up her eyes. “Just put all the energy into your bread making! When you get the urge to shout, just shout into the dough!”

“…Is that sanitary?”

“I don’t know! Probably!” Then Maya gave a little shift of her eyes, walking over to the window of their little bakery shop. It was a bit of a crowded place with its numerous tables that barely let most pass through to the counter, and one houseplant that looked exceedingly out of place. (Still, it was very charming to most customers! It even had a little nameplate on it called Charley.) Maya had to maneuver a bit to get to her desired location.

“Besides, we have to up our game a little if we want to out-bake the new guys from across the street!”

Phoenix just felt a little more confused. “Isn’t that mostly a donut shop though? They don’t really bake much of anything else..”

“Oh, Nick! Don’t you understand?” Maya shook her head, bits of flour stuck to both her face and hair. (With all that long hair, Phoenix had suggested that maybe she should wear a hair net? For safety violations? She never got back to him on that). “They’re new and hip, and everyone’s always in the mood for donuts! You can’t say the same for walnut bread!”

“No way! Everyone loves walnut bread!”

“And don’t you see their menu outside? They have a huge range of selections for just donuts! They sure do use a lot of fruit jelly… and they even have a mascot for their business!” She mimicked Phoenix’s furious pointing, using it to target at a large green and white dog that sat outside the shop, relaxing quite peacefully in the sun.

“But… isn’t that just their pet?”

“It’s their mascot!” Maya argued. “And what do we have? A houseplant! We need to re-invent our look! We need to make Ace Baker’s Maya Fey and Co. the talk of the town! Then all the bored teenagers will want to come to our place to hang and eat baguettes!”

“Yeah, uh, about that name…”

“Hurry, Nick! Let’s start by fixing up the sign! I’ll get the paint, and you get the ladder!”

“You mean a stepladder.”

“Not this again!” She untied her apron and threw it at Phoenix’s face as she ran off to the supply room. “Still gotta be so narrowminded…”

Phoenix slowly pulled the clothing away from his head. (And how did I get wrapped up in this again...?)

“Lloyd? What are you looking at?”

While it was normal for Lloyd to get bored throughout the day, he usually stayed by the counter to get the donuts ready for the customers, or to help with the oven in the back, or to look over Colette’s shoulder in wonder as she made cute little animal designs on most of the glazed donuts. Instead, he pressed his face against the window, eyes squinted in heavy suspicion.

“…I swore I saw someone pointing at us,” he said, unsure.

Colette carefully wiped away donut crumbs and chocolate frosting from her gloves onto her apron. “Oh! You mean from the bakers across the street? They seemed nice. I haven’t gone there yet though. I really want to try their walnut bread!”

“Yeah, that does sound pretty good…” Lloyd then backed away, a small frown on his face as he thought hard. “Still, we gotta make sure we keep up! They’ve been here longer, so it’s probably easy for them to get the regular customers and all!”

“Hmm, I think we’ve been doing well! People really like our fruit donuts! That makes me happy.” Colette bounced a bit on her toes, her hair neatly tied in a bun, along with a hair net so that no stray strands could get into their baked work.

“Of course they like them! That was a really good idea of yours, Colette!” Lloyd then held up his thumb and forefinger, looking satisfied as he thought on past accomplishments. “Also, gotta say, that logo of mine that I made really did the trick! Now whenever people see that, they’ll just think Lloydonuts!”

Colette nodded to that. That same logo was on both of their aprons; a cartoonish version of Lloyd’s head, decked out in a baker hat and holding a whisk. It was just so cute! It really was a step up from what their past logo designer had tried to do… Lloyd had been a bit unhappy at that. “I do still think the other one was okay, too.”

“Agh, but he ruined my handsome face!”

Colette could only laugh at Lloyd’s little outburst. She supposed the past design was a bit weird-looking…

Suddenly there was a little clatter outside, loud enough to get Colette’s attention from deeper in the shop. Lloyd quickly turned back, peering past the painted Lloydonuts logo on the glass.

A black-haired woman was standing outside the bakery, just beneath a ladder (or a stepladder? He always got those confused) as she shouted quite loudly at the person who stood atop it. Whoever was up there seemed to be fixing up the shop’s sign.

“Good job, Nick! Now make my smile just a little bit cuter! No, wait, that’s too lopsided! Honestly, Nick, how did you ever graduate from art school?” She nudged the ladder to get that person’s attention.

“Maya, I never even learned how to draw! And I didn’t go to – ahh!” A spiky-haired man wobbled while standing on top of the (step)ladder, holding precariously onto a paintbrush. His arms flailed as he did so, and said paintbrush then made an unflattering black streak across the painting of a young lady’s face, just underneath her nose.

The woman, who looked very much like the painted version, put her hands on her hips. “Nick! You gave me a mustache! That’s not nice!”

“You almost knocked me over, Maya!”

“Now how we are going to fix this? I can’t just grow a mustache! It’s not right!”

“I could have actually broken my back, you know!”

“Oh, now you’re just being dramatic.”

Colette by then, had joined Lloyd’s side, both of them looking curiously at the two bakers. Like them, they also wore aprons over their regular clothes, although seeing bakers decked out in a suit and some strange dress was a bit out of the ordinary. (Lloyd, insisting on wearing his bright red jacket and suspenders, had no room to judge.) Although their rival bakers argued quite a bit, there was a hint of a smile on both their faces. Colette found that admirable – that even when they disagreed, they still cared about each other a lot!

Lloyd, however, was focused on something else entirely. “Hey! They’re copying my logo!”

Colette raised her eyes to the sign. Oh. Well, it did look a bit similar… The shape of the round face was very much like Lloyd’s, though with long black hair instead of short brown hair, and how she was holding up a loaf of bread instead of a whisk. The words Ace Baker’s Maya Fey and Co. were wrapped around the picture in colorful script. Only, that black streak on the face of the logo was very distracting. It did look a lot like a mustache…

“We gotta work twice as hard, Colette!” Lloyd turned to her in expectation, his confidence in her so deep and unyielding that she was instantly inspired. “We can fix this place up! I’ll talk with Dad about putting some cool dwarven decorations and stuff! And some dwarven-styled donuts!”

“Wow! I didn’t know dwarves made donuts, too!”

“Well… I don’t know if they do actually, but it’s worth a shot!” Lloyd pumped a fist into the air. “We’ll still be the best donut shop there is.”

Colette mimicked his action, then a thought hit her. “How much will it all cost then? Even if it’s your dad, that’s a lot of materials…”

“Eh, Genis handles all that financial stuff. It’s probably okay.” Lloyd said all this without knowing his best friend’s suffering – how he toiled away at night adding up the numbers and trying to not let Lloyd’s overspending on things (the doggy decals on the walls, the paints for the Lloydonuts logo, the boxes of fruits they got every week for their special donut recipes) put the donut shop out of business. Lloyd would never know Genis’ sacrifice.

“Also!” Lloyd continued excitedly. “Holidays are coming up soon, so we can make some special menu things for those days! Like Valentine’s and that Easter thing…”

“Oh! Valentine’s Day is pretty soon! We could make our donuts into the shape of a heart!” Colette’s eyes shone with the idea, then reined herself back. “Do you think that would be okay?”

“You kidding?” Lloyd said back with even more enthusiasm. “That’s perfect! We should start that now or something! Whatever expenses we get we can just pass off to Genis to figure out.”

Colette was so happy. Lloyd always supported her ideas one-hundred percent. “Okay!”

Off in the distance, Genis felt a shudder through his spine. No… they wouldn’t be pulling at this month’s budget already, right? No. There was no way Lloyd would be that terrible of a friend. But Genis did not sleep well that night.

The next day, Maya Fey woke up to the scent of freshly baked goods… which were not theirs!

“Nick!” Maya yelled suddenly. She slapped the sleeping baker straight on the back of the head. They just slept on the counters so they could be early to work! Again, not very sanitary. The health inspectors didn’t visit this part of town, luckily.

“Gah! Maya! Wh-!”

Maya then shushed him harshly, her black hair framing her face very intimidatingly. Or, she probably thought it did. Several hair strands stuck up from her topknot in haphazard fashion, and there were bags under her eyes, which she had gotten from ‘scoping their rivals out’ the other night. For one thing, Phoenix had questioned if the other bakers even knew that they existed? And the second thing… (Maya, can we please get some actual beds sometime? I think I swallowed some flour in my sleep…)

Then, he noticed a certain scent, too… but none of their ovens were on. Or he hoped not, because they didn’t have fire alarms here… which was another safety hazard for this place. “Maya?” he asked, but she only shushed him again. Were they pretending to not be here or something? The only time they did that was when Larry Butz came over, whining about his girlfriend leaving him and wanting some free pastries to cope with his loss…

Maya stealthily made her way to the front. The curtains were shut, their place not opening yet for another hour. She peeked through the blinds, squinting hard through the harsh early morning daylight. Those same eyes widened – more than they ever did, even when she channeled certain spirits. No such spirit from beyond the veil of death could have foreseen what she was observing right now…

“They’re already selling Valentine’s Day goods!” she yelled.

Phoenix, still trying to wake up, jumped at the sudden shout. Maya would have shattered his eardrums if he were close enough. “What?!” he said in reflex.

That was the wrong decision. Maya rushed to him, hands clutching the apron he still wore, (yes, even when he went to sleep. It gave him some padding on the hard counter surface) and pulled him near… just to yell in his ear again. “I said, they’re already selling Valentine’s Day goods, Nick!”

Ah, now there was that ringing in his ears. Great.

Maya rushed back to the window, peering through the blinds, the sunlight streaking across her frizzy black hair, making her seem a bit sinister. Or maybe that was just Phoenix’s own perspective. To be fair, he was half-deaf right now because of her and didn’t really like it.

“I thought you scoped them out or something,” he mentioned, voice a little loud as he tried to hear himself.

“Keep it down, Nick!” Maya gestured, still looking away. Then, seemingly unsatisfied with that, she pulled the blinds open fully, effectively blinding Phoenix instead of just deafening him.

(Why?!) But even as he tried to shield himself, Maya stared down at the scene before her. “These guys are better than I thought!”

The Lloydonuts place was open extra-early today, but things were different. There were hearts placed over the logo of the smiling chef now on the window, and that weird dog was standing next to a sign that depicted even more of those hearts! And something about free samples… That was when she finally looked to one of their rivals, a girl with blonde hair and a bright smile, holding a platter filled with freshly baked donuts towards a growing crowd.

“Hi! Get our Lloyd Love Donuts!” she said eagerly. “We have even more choices inside!”

Maya could only be impressed… but… they didn’t do any changes to their dog to help spice up their sales! At least dye his fur pink or something!

“We’re opening up right now!” Maya flipped their sign from ‘We’re Closed!’ to ‘Hey, Get in Here!’ “Start the ovens, Nick! We don’t have time to be dilly-dallying or whatever!”

“I… still can’t really see..”

Maya huffed. She had to do all the work herself around here… “At least get ready to greet the customers! I’ve had some new ideas for our shop later on… but looks like our rivals forced my hand!” She pushed up the sleeves of her robe, cheeks puffed up with determination. “Let’s get to it, Nick!”

(But I only slept for three hours…) He didn’t say such things out loud however, knowing Maya was too busy firing up the ovens to listen.

Their early Valentine’s Day Donuts Sale was a huge success!

Sure, Colette may have tripped a few times while offering free samples to passerby, but that just made her even more endearing to them, convincing customers to go inside and try out the donuts for her sake. Lloyd, handling the orders from within the shop, had a white chef hat atop his head so that he matched the logo, complete with maybe a hand drawn heart or two on his new accessory. He still had on his red gloves, along with the long-sleeved jacket, which probably made things a little hot for him when he got the donuts out of the oven, but he didn’t care. Things were going so well! The heart-shaped donuts were selling like hotcakes! (except they were donuts); from powdered types to yummy glazed ones, and those with fruity filling.

“Thanks for buying Lloydonuts!” he shouted in farewell as a customer left their shop, three large boxes in hand. They were selling so much, and it was only just hitting noon!

The chime of the door continued to ring when Colette came back inside. “Lloyd! I’m gonna need more samples, I think – Waa!”

Lloyd leapt over the counter to catch Colette in his arms, grinning at her clumsiness. “You dork. No need to rush!”

“Ah, sorry.” This was followed soon by a giggle. “You got powder on your face!”

“Oh, where?” He tried to pat it away from his cheek, but missed it by an inch – and even more because the powdered donut sugar was on his forehead and chin, too.

“Here, I can help get it-”

Noishe was barking loudly suddenly, which nearly made them both trip from the suddenness. But each kept the other’s balance, looking towards the door. “Noishe?” Lloyd said curiously.

Colette followed soon after with a question. “Did he see something scary?”

Worried for their dog, both went to the window, the Lloydonuts logo facing them in its reversed, transparent glory, all decked up with Valentine’s Day accessories of pink and red hearts. But despite all that, they could see clearly how Noishe looked excitedly at the shop across from them. It was open already?

And there was someone outside, too! Also giving free samples of… of… Lloyd squinted his eyes. “Huh. What is that?”

The black-haired girl in her robes and apron kindly gave him a clue not long after.

“Get your Love Baguettes! One of a kind! Only here!” She held up said Love Baguette – or rather, two of them. Both have been curved together to form the shape of a heart, a little messily done maybe, but it was still a heart! The shop’s door was open – one could hear the frantic greeting coming from inside, followed by a fierce pounding of fists on a hard surface.

“Thank you! Please come again and share the love! Ugh…”

“With more feeling, Nick!” She shouted back into the shop, which may have startled a retreating customer, several Love Baguettes around their arms.

“What?” Lloyd fumed, still peering through the painted logo of their shop window. All the added hearts everywhere were making this more difficult than it usually was. “That was our thing!”

Colette blinked. “Um… I don’t think heart shapes can belong to people…”

“And they’re using two of them?! That’s… that’s a good idea, actually…”

“Love Baguettes! And don’t forget our Lovely Nuts!” She held up what looked like their famous walnut bread, also mushily curved into a heart-shape. The nuts inside it looked like those little heart candies typically given out on the holiday, too! “You’ll fall for them every time!”

“Oh!” Colette was very impressed with this lady! “Those are really cute!””

Lloyd was decidedly much more annoyed. “They’re going to beat us at this rate! Also, that walnut bread does sound really good!” He ran from the window back to the counter. “I’m gonna hurry and make some more! And… and a give a 2-for-1 special!”

“But what about our break?” she asked, since it was lunchtime. Usually they would go out and take Noishe during this time, walking around the town and maybe have some coffee together. She looked forward to those…

“There’s no time! I’ll make some more free samples for you, Colette!”

“R-right!” Well, it was probably just for today. And she wanted to help Lloyd out! She believed in his dream of making the best donut shop in town!

She just hoped she would stop dropping the samples this time…

“Oh, they’re still going, huh?”

Maya was munching on one of the Love Baguettes, staring hard at the donut place. The blonde girl was frantically sharing the donut samples, and now talking on and on about some special? For two donuts? Now that was just crazy!

“Nick! We gotta start selling these things better!” She paused. “Bring Charley out here! He could use the sun anyway…”

“I don’t understand how leaving our plant outside is supposed to help…” Even so, Phoenix carried out the potted plant from indoors. Its tall stature loomed over his head, several of the leafy fronds covering his entire face. “And you didn’t have to paint him pink!”

“It’s washable paint, don’t worry! Charley just wants to look nice, sometimes.”

“Maya, this isn’t even your plant…”

“Well, Mia told me!” she said, effectively winning that argument. Charley needed to be spruced up to compete with their rival’s mascot. The pink color would be sure to draw some eyes to them!

The other girl looked to them from across the street, tilting her platter towards the ground, seemingly unaware. A few tiny donut hearts fell from their perch. Both Phoenix and Maya could hear her cry of dismay, especially as Noishe sniffed at them.

“Now she’s just putting on the cute and clumsy act! Clever!” Maya turned to Phoenix. “Okay, remember! You’re gonna have to start acting in charge while I woo the customers over with my natural cuteness!”

Normally, he would argue that he was supposed to be in charge of things anyway… and was technically her boss! But… well… life was difficult, and he had no idea how he ended up in a bakery shop, honestly. He shrugged. “Okay, okay.”

While Maya fixed her hair up a little and worked on her cute winks and cuter smiles (all while putting the Love Baguettes around Phoenix’s arms so he could start selling their product!) the door to the Lloydonuts shop burst open. Out came the other half of the donut duo, his brown hair a little ruffled underneath his tilted white chef hat, which looked ready to fall off.

“Colette, look! I made the double donut combo!” He held up his creation proudly – two of the heart-shaped donuts fused together at the side, complete with fancy designs on their front that made it looked like the guy had stuck in actual jewels into the chocolate frosting. (But, they weren’t real jewels, right?) Either way, they looked beautiful! “I uh, kinda accidentally baked two of them together a bit too close to each other, but this would be a really cool idea anyway, yeah?”

“That’s so good, Lloyd!” Colette was praising. “And you added those jewels after?” She wanted to point to those decorations as she said so. This just made her drop the platter altogether in her excitement. “Oh…”

Maya stared again across the street, and soon decided that she had had enough! She hung her last Love Baguette around Phoenix’s neck, then moved forwards. “Maya?” he asked.

“Just trying to run us out of business, huh? With our own idea!” She had her hands on her hips, staring across the street to Lloyd. “That should be illegal, right, Nick?”

“I.. I’m not that kind of lawyer, Maya. You know this.”

Lloyd heard the accusation, the girl’s voice carrying very clear through the air. Not many people were around at the time, and this gave him incentive to finally see just what was the deal with these guys!

Leaving from helping Colette retrieve their fallen pastries, he put his own hands on his hips, staring at the girl called Maya, chef hat still very tilted. “You were already taking our idea first! We came up with the heart stuff!”

“Um, Lloyd, I’m not sure…”

“No way! I had that idea way before you! Besides, we did it better.” Her cheeks puffed out as she stared down Lloyd, mimicking her cool pose! “And stop copying me!”

“You’re the one that’s copying me!”

Colette was at his shoulder, patting his back. “I think it’s okay?”

Phoenix, still looking very tired, still a little hard of hearing, and decked out in weirdly-warped baguettes all over his body, looked to the ground with a sigh. “I went to law school for this.”

“We have to settle this here and now!” Maya proclaimed. “We can’t let this rivalry keep going! Or it’ll destroy us both…” She said the last very dramatically, eyes shining, like a certain samurai made of steel that she binge-watched, even when customers were in the store.

Lloyd followed right along with her, looking serious and grim as he nodded. “You’re right about that at least! But I promise you we won’t be going down without a fight!”

Colette was giggling a bit nervously. “Lloyd… I don’t think it’s that serious..”

Phoenix finally got the Love Baguettes off him, grimacing at all that Maya said. “We’re not even rivals, Maya. They sell different stuff from us!”

“No! We gotta prove ourselves!” At that, Maya was stunned by her own stroke of genius. She turned to him. “We have to prove to our customers with more than just Love Baguettes. We have to show our love, Nick!” She grabbed Phoenix’s arms, bringing him close. “Now give me some sugar!”

Phoenix was red in the face. “W-what? We’re not… we’re not together!”

Maya blinked. “Oh, we’re not?”

“Are we??” This was entirely fresh news to him. Even so, a nervous but gentle smile crossed his face. “I mean… I’ve always thought about-”

“Whatever! This is for the business!” She pulled him in, kissing him probably too roughly. Maybe even violently?

Colette was blushing from the public display of affection! Then she felt arms around her too suddenly. Um.

“We can do that, too!” she heard Lloyd say, but not really believing it. Wishful thinking, right? She’d never kissed anyone before! Especially Lloyd!

“Wha-” was all she got out of her throat before she felt his lips on her. Then her mind conveniently went blank, only noting a certain chef hat having finally fallen to the ground.

It was probably a full minute or two before Lloyd realized what he was doing and pulled back, a blush covering his face. His hair was also a bit disheveled, no hat anymore to cover the unruly strands. “Uh… sorry! I was… um…” His competitive nature was soon tempered by the reality of the situation. Maybe he was too competitive…

Colette’s face was overheating. “It’s okay! For- for the business, right?” So, more kisses were important actually! “We should keep doing that!”

Lloyd stared. “Colette-”

They were then interrupted by yelling.

“Maya, I need to breathe!”

“Why do you still have to be so dramatic?” But Maya finally pulled back while Phoenix clutched a hand to his chest, breathing heavily. How long had they been…? “And you c-clearly need to practice!” Of course, her face was just as red, looking to the panting Phoenix with occasional glances, eyelids lowered.

But whatever that was all about, the rivalry was quickly brought back when she faced Lloyd and Colette again. “I see you’re still trying to copy me! You have no originality, do ya?”

Lloyd’s previous blush was soon replaced with a grimace again. Colette sighed sadly at their moment already being over. “Oh yeah? How’s this for original?”

With that, Colette felt the ground suddenly leave her. Oh no, did she trip again? No, it was just Lloyd carrying her in his arms. Wait. He held her close, making her squeak in surprise once she realized what was happening. Maybe they could still have their moment then…

“Bet you can’t look better than us now!” he bragged, grinning wide as he held Colette easily. “We show our love way better!”

“Lloyd?!” Colette felt she was about to faint. “L-love..”

“Ah, um…” He turned to her with that same blush. “I meant to tell you…”

This only inspired Maya even further. “You think that’ll stop us? Nick! Carry me! Hurry!”

Phoenix’s face went pale. “But, my back! You know it’s not-”

“Stop stalling!” With no warning, she dashed towards Phoenix, then made a gigantic leap for his arms, expecting him to catch her full force. Her purple robes flew behind her gracefully, along with her dark hair. She was like a graceful bird flying towards him... and then he realized she was more like a freight train ready to knock him over.

“Maya!!” And he did catch her somehow! But he stumbled a bit, and then stiffened, a loud, audible crack being heard, even from across the street. “Oh… oh no..”

“Nice job, Nick! …Nick?”

Seeing the other couple do the same, Colette really wanted to help out more! Especially after what Lloyd said.. With firm lips, she hopped out of his arms, then quickly scooped him up with a smile. “How about this?” This will get people paying attention to them! And make their shop the best in town!

“Uh.” Lloyd was at a loss on what to do, his long legs dangling a little awkwardly from her hold. “Uh…” If it was possible to blush redder than a tomato, he was doing that. “This… this is good, yeah.”

“It’s not uncomfortable, is it?” she asked with genuine concern.

“N-no! It’s very comfortable!” Lloyd had answered her a bit quickly, still very red. “Should probably… keep hanging onto me, you know.”

By then, they had missed when Phoenix had fallen to the ground. They only noticed when they heard him moaning in pain on the pavement, Maya standing before him with a slightly worried look. “Oh.. I guess I overdid it a little…”

“Is he okay?” Colette called out.

But once Maya turned back, all concern for Phoenix washed away at the sight before her. “That’s just cheating!”

Now she was getting desperate. She reached for one of the discarded Love Baguettes and then just… threw it at them! “Take this!”

Lloyd, however, was well prepared.

He reached into one of his apron’s pockets, bringing out the double Lloyd Love Donut and flung it straight back at Maya. “Then take this!” he shouted back.

Both pastries arced through the air… straight into the face of a random passerby.

Colette gasped. “Oh no!” But the woman looked familiar…

Luckily, the person, a small old lady by the looks of it, caught the two flying pastries in both hands. She smiled warmly at both bakers. “Why, thank you for the samples. These work so well together. I can share these with my family.” Then she tottered away, keeping both baguette and donut in her hands.

Maya stared. “Oh! That’s the same lady from yesterday… the one you scared off, Nick!”

Phoenix finally got to his feet, slouched over slightly. “I didn’t… I didn’t scare anyone!”

Colette soon remembered! “Ah! Isn’t that Marble? Genis’ friend? I’m glad she’s okay.”

Lloyd was still in her arms, looking confused. “She has like super good reflexes…”

Maya was then rushing up to them, dragging Nick with her by his tie, nearly scaring Colette into dropping Lloyd on the ground. “We have to join forces!”

“What?” everyone asked, including Phoenix.

“That lady was proof! We could grow our businesses if we start selling stuff together. Still our own shops but like… um… specials when you get both!”

“Oh…” Lloyd said dumbly, before finally understanding. “Ohhh.”

“I don’t really understand,” Colette had to admit.

“Two is better than one!” Lloyd then said, as if that explained everything. “I get it! We have to start working together! So anyone that buys stuff from our place like… gets a discount or something from their bakery shop!”

“Yeah, yeah! And same with us! With your donut stuff!” Maya was clenching her fists, which unfortunately tightened Phoenix’s tie around his neck a bit too much. “We’ll be the best!”

“Maya-!”

“Yeah! So uh, partners!” Lloyd held out his hand, still in Colette’s arms, but also ready to do business.

“Partners!” Maya shook his hand, both of them looking very proud of themselves. “I’ve saved our business, Nick.”

“It was never in danger to begin with-! Ack!”

Colette was just happy they could all get along and be friends now. “So, can we try those Love Baguettes, maybe?” They looked so yummy! And maybe her and Lloyd could share one…

“Of course!” Maya said, like they were old friends. “And make sure to try our Lovely Nuts, too!”

“Maya, we need to rethink that name-”

“Also, I get free donut eating privileges now that we’re partners, yeah?”

Lloyd readily agreed. “As long as I get to try that walnut stuff!” Off in the distance, Genis felt a cold shudder run through him again. Ah… economic disaster would be in the future if he was not careful…

But none of that worried anybody. With Maya and Lloyd already discussing their future plans, Phoenix still slightly suffocating, and Colette just so happy that everything worked out for the best, the future of Ace Baker’s Maya Fey and Co. and Lloydonuts was looking bright!

[bbybaphomet]

COLA | C5: RICHER THAN GOD & TWICE AS PRETTY

“my albums are all different colours,” cory osada, best known as cola, once said. “i pick a colour and i build a record around it.”

according to the teen-rapper turned young-adult-superstar, his debut effort pretty everlasting is green. f5abb5, album number two, is the exact shade of pink it’s title references the hex code to. the tertiary icon is the colour of a rose gold iphone, and this spring’s russian doll is redder than coke cans. so where does that leave his new release richer than god & twice as pretty? well, we asked.

“it’s a mood ring under a strobe light.” he told us. 

 the title is blasphemy to such a ridiculous degree that it cannot truly be taken as offensive, it’s fifteen tracks of unrelenting synthpop marked with sleepy time vocals and bratty rap segments. the lyrics are truthful, funny and often sad. it’s the cola persona dialled up to 11 for the first time in years, and as cola said, it’s an album to party to. tracks such as ‘call me mom’, ‘mommy’s busy’, ‘back on my bullshit’ and title track ‘the craft’ push that aspect to the forefront, with masterfully crafted dance beats (if cola has shown anything in his six year career, it’s that he knows how to create a great pop song.)  and self-assured, witty lyrics. the lyrical matter finds it’s footing in the nightlife of seoul, the backdrop of much of cola’s musical canon, and indeed the backdrop of much of the life he’s shown us; cola came up through the clubs, and now he is writing love letters to them. 

“there’s always been a story.” cola says. “all four main albums, i’ve always been telling some kind of story, there’s always like... an overarching theme. and russian doll was addressing some really personal, scary, deep-rooted things. i got it all out of my system, and when i was singing songs from it, i started to think of the version of me i was writing them about, this like... sixteen year old kid, covered head to toE in glitter and baggy t-shirts, performing in clubs he’s too young to be in and looking for the shoes he’d refused to perform in, and i was like, y’know what? i’m gonna give that kid a comeback. i’m gonna make the record he would have made if he had the resources i have now.” 

title track ‘the craft’ is textbook cola, by now- the dance-synth pounds as he pokes fun at his naysayers, the 90′s movie reference provided a wink of context  by the black magic motif of the lyrics. ‘i wanna feel bad but i’m so great at it that i don’t feel much’ he taunts after a warning shot of a verse, a formal caution to keep cola’s name out of your mouth. the thesis of richer than god & twice as pretty is summed up best in the first bar of his rap segment, however, ‘big boy boutta turn 23, & since sixteen it’s been a real ass whirlwind / it’s been rough, but i work with it, cause i’m tough, fit, a renaissance bitch’

the throwback aspect provides power to tracks ‘breathe in’ and ‘sonic adventure 2′, the former comforts it’s listener in guided meditation, structured to hit after a soft, video-game-esque musical interlude (dedicated to the star’s recently deceased beloved pet rats) that succeeds ‘i have a ritalin prescription’, a frantic party song that apexes on cola singing out a panic attack as he seeks his meds. ‘you know you got it’ cola whispers to his young self on ‘breathe in’; ‘ima summon up the power in you.’ meanwhile, ‘sonic adventure 2′, a self-referential fan-favourite anthem, teasingly samples cola’s debut song ‘tbh tho,,,’ as quick as the lyrics request ‘i got a past, do we really gotta bring it up?”

‘11:11′ seems to bring us to cola today, age twenty two, singing dreamily of a new romance- and in a few ways, the ingenue-sweet love lyrics seem more familiar to the feeling of first listening to cola back in 2013 than the album’s memoir. backed by a romantic, 00′s sounding bassline and a sweet guitar riff, cola’s gentle vocal delivery is not in the slightest difficult to compare to the bedroom-made love songs that first catapulted him to fame- and to those who have listened to him from the beginning, it provides a warm source of comfort. ‘oh darling, i’ve spent a long time shaking the blues. and oh darling, i’d do it all again to make it to you.’ cola swears, and it’s hard not to think of the teenage boy who once brought us lines about loving his hometown of new york only for all the bridges he can jump off. cola is grown and he is happy, and the public have watched him struggle to get there, and it’s difficult not to feel warm about it. 

despite being designed to be a foil to the raw open wound of russian doll, richer than god & twice as pretty, in all of it’s experimental, radio unfriendly synth pop, feels like the most genuine, unfiltered look into the life of cory osada we’ve ever gotten. the presentation may be all cola, but cory is firmly at the helm, and he’s telling us who he is as easily as he tells us who he wants to have been.  

by putting the emphasis for his record on the “pop” part of “synth pop” – that is, on the aspect which takes the most honing and technical skill – cola has made something personal and accomplished, which feels like it totally enacts his vision. richer than god, therefore, is the combined result of smart instincts, and hard work: two principles which anchor every great musician. cola has been one of those for a longer than the media have been willing to admit, but this is definitive proof.  

tracklist

i. s.u.p.e.r ii. stainless steel iii. back on my bullshit iv. call me mom v. anime eyes vi. mommy’s busy vii. jhin & juice viii. sonic adventure 2 ix. i have a ritalin prescription  x. lux and mathilda’s song xi. breathe in xii. wanna medal for it? xii. the craft xiii. 11:11 xv. coney island 2

[shelleyseale]

Hit List: Top Things to do in Door County, Wisconsin

There are few places in the Midwest more delightful than Door County, in the upper peninsula of Wisconsin. With 300 miles of shoreline, you can watch a sunrise and a sunset over the water without leaving the county.

You can also stroll through acres of orchards, explore art galleries, devour cherry pie, sip on local wines and brews, splash in the lake or paddle along the bluffs, stroll through five state parks, visit 19 unique communities and tour 11 historic lighthouses. Here are my Top Picks of Things to Do in Door County!

Take a Boat Ride

You're at the lake — so you gotta get on the lake! Board a cruise along Lake Michigan or Green Bay, and you may even be able to see some of the shipwrecks from the boat (supposedly there are some 400 shipwrecks in these waters!). You can also take the Washington Island Ferry to Washington Island from the mainland, crossing "Death's Door" as you do so. The French bestowed that name on the treacherous waters that sent so many ships to the bottom. Other great ways to get on the water are to go sailing, rent kayaks or try your hand at stand-up paddleboarding. Then congratulate yourself on being part of the mere 1% of visitors to Door County who ever get off the mainland! The Door County Maritime Museum in Sturgeon Bay is the perfect place to learn about the history of the area lighthouses, shipbuilding, shipwrecks and more.

Canal Station N Pierhead Lighthouse & Boat. Photo Credit: DoorCounty.com/Door County Visitor Bureau

Take a Lighthouse Tour

There are 11 lighthouses in Door County, many of which were built in the 1800s, and a semi-annual festival celebrates their history (including tours to some that are rarely open to the public), held in the early summer and fall. The Chambers Island Lighthouse has the most interesting history, in my opinion, while the Cana Island Lighthouse is the most unique. You have to be ferried across the ankle deep water by tractor just to get to the lighthouse! Another worth visiting is the "Bird Cage" - the old Baileys Harbor Lighthouse, with 150-year-old range lights and a new boardwalk that's been built between them.

Enjoy Tastings at Local Wineries and Craft Breweries

There are 8 vineyards and wineries in Door County, and there's even a Wine Trail with maps, festivals and other events. My favorite is Door 44, where husband-and-wife team Steve Johnson and Maria Milano left their legal careers behind to realize their dream of winemaking. If you might be surprised, as I was, to think about wine growing that far north, Steve told me that the climate here between June and October is almost exactly what you find in Bordeaux, France. Harbor Ridge Winery is another enjoyable stop, also run by a husband and wife team.

Winery touring and tasting in Door County, WI Steve Johnson (on the bottom right of the pic above), co-owner of Door 44 with his wife Maria, says that the key to successful winemaking is just to let the grape be the grape. "If you let the grape just do what it wants to do, you'll have a good wine." There are also many local brews and craft master brewers around here, so it's easy to find tours and tastings, as well as great choices for local beers on the menus. And for something different - not wine and not beer - check out Island Orchard Cider. Here they make a variety of ciders from their own 40 acre orchard on Washington Island. My favorite was the pear....mmm, delicious!

Island Orchard Cider

Visit Artisan Cheesemakers

What goes with wine better than cheese? And the state is well-known for its dairy farms and cheeses, so you won't want to miss visiting some of the world's best cheesemakers. Wisconsin is home to every single licensed cheese master - 6- of them to be exact. At Wisconsin Cheese Masters, you can find an exclusive selection where many cheeses are not available anywhere else. Owner Jim Pionkoski has a personal favorite: Marieke Golden, made by Marieke Penterman, whom Jim calls the best cheese maker in the U.S. and maybe even the world. Originally from the Netherlands, Marieke mainly produces gouda cheeses. The Golden is her only non-gouda, and Jim eats it every single day. "It's the only cheese I never get tired of," he says.

Jim Pionkoski of Wisconsin Cheese Masters, sharing his love of cheese. Another don't-miss cheese stop is the Door Artisan Cheese Company, run by Wisconsin Master Cheesemaker Mike Brennenstuhl, who has been making cheese all his life. This "one stop shop" includes a beautiful market, extensive underground cheese caves where the magic happens, and an amazing restaurant, Glacier Ledge. You can take tours to learn how the cheeses are made and see the caves. Mike uses only local dairy farmers, and only buys milk for the process from farms that are certified AHA, meaning they are hormone free and humane. 

Wisconsin Master Cheesemaker Mike Brennenstuhl and colleague showing us the cheese caves at Door Artisan. Check out Mike at work and telling the story of Door Artisan Cheese Company:

Stuff Yourself at Incredible Restaurants, from Casual Dining to Chef-Driven Foodie Spots

As mentioned above, the Glacier Ledge restaurant is highly recommended; I had one of my best meals of the trip there. They serve an internationally-inspired tapas style menu that's perfect for tasting and sharing.

A dish at Glacier Ledge restaurant at Door Artisan Cheese

For an opposite end of the spectrum at a long-time Door County institution, seriously DO NOT miss Wilson's Restaurant & Ice Cream! This adorable diner and ice cream parlor has been around since 1906, and it's located in what I personally found the most picturesque and explorable town in Door County - Ephraim. A mini jukebox adorns every table, and the burgers are honestly to die for. But be sure to save room for one of their old-fashioned ice cream treats like shakes, floats and sundaes. And if you're a root beer fan like me, you will love their housemade root beer. Best root beer I've ever had in my life!

Wilson's Restaurant and Ice Cream Parlor in Ephraim, Wisconsin For breakfast or a coffee fix, my  pick is Skipstone Coffee Roasters in Sister Bay, my second favorite Door County town. Their breakfast sandwiches are hearty, delicious and healthy; and they make all of their flavor syrups in house. It's pet-friendly, and if you're in a hurry for your next adventure they have a quick self-serve bar with a pay station.And no restaurant round-up of the Wisconsin peninsula would be complete without talking about Al's. Maybe you've heard of it or seen pics on Instagram, but Al Johnson's Swedish Restaurant is the place with the goats on the roof. Every morning, the goats are led up a ramp to the sod roof of the restaurant, where they graze all day. You can even adore them from the two webcam streams that are affixed up there. Al's has been an icon for nearly 60 years, and it really is an authentic Swedish restaurant. Now, I have to admit I didn't eat there, but from everything I've heard the food is good. I just went for the goats - oh, and I also picked up a few things in the very nice little boutique there. Check it out!

Al Johnson's Swedish Restaurant Goats

Experience a Traditional Wisconsin Fish Boil

OK, so technically this could go under the above "Eating out" section. But make no mistake - a fish boil is as Wisconsin as it gets, so much so that the experience definitely deserves its own category! There are numerous places that put on a fish boil, but I recommend Pelletier's. They serve a traditional fish boil every night of the week starting at 5 pm, along with a full menu of other items as well as lunch and breakfast service.

Pelletier's traditional Wisconsin fish boil Owner & Boil Master Matthew Peterson has been doing this for decades, learned from his father before him. The boil consists of freshly caught whitefish from Lake Michigan, cooked outside over the open fire along with corn and potatoes. The tradition comes from the Scandinavian settlers a century ago, and is very much alive and well in Door County. The drama of the "boil over" is pretty cool (advice: don't stand too close to the pot!). 

Go Gallery Hopping

Door County is home to an impressive number of galleries and artist studios. It's a great place to discover everything from a small, emerging artists to high-end galleries and accomplished artists who have made a name for themselves. Some of the places I would recommend making a stop would be: Blue Dolphin House, set on four-and-a-half acres of beautiful perennial gardens, in a building that dates back to 1860. Run by Peg & John Lowry, they've been in business for more than 50 years.

Blue Dolphin House shop & studio Deanna Clayton Studios - you'll need to make an appointment or check her website for opening hours. Deanna is an incredibly successful glass artist, using a centuries-old technique called pate de verre. With it, she creates some astonishing sculptures, which have been purchased and commissioned by patrons including many Ritz Carlton hotels around the world.

Artist Deanna Clayton in front of her studio Fine Line Designs Gallery & Sculpture Garden features original paintings, custom wood furnishings, glass, jewelry, ceramics and fiber art more than 90 renowned artists. Stroll the two-acre sculpture garden that showcases sculptures in bronze, stone, metal, ceramic, copper, and stainless steel. Unique, collectible artworks and original gifts are found indoors and out.

Fine Line Designs Gallery If you want more information on the art scene, check out the Door County Visitors guide!

Pick Your Own Cherries

Door County is the cherry capital of the U.S., and you can experience cherry picking yourself at one of the County's pick-your-own cherry orchards. Many families make it a fun tradition every cherry season. Check out the listings of places you can do this, along with many other resources, at Wisconsin Cherry Growers.

Cherry picking in Door County, Wisconsin Have you been to Door County? What are your favorite experiences there? Share in the comments below! Read the full article

[birdgirliris]

Mun Interview

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions? Bring it. (ELEVENTY-ONE!!) 2) Where are you taking this test at? Test? This is a TEST? I thought it was an interview. Sitting on the sofa while watching one of my murder mystery shows. 3) Was your last real relationship a mistake? I don’t do the whole dating thing so no. 4) Who did you last say “I love you” to? My mom 5) Do you regret it? Nope ^^ 6) Have you ever been depressed? Yep. 7) Are you a boy or girl? Look like a girl but I identify as agender. 8) Do you have a job? Yep 9) What is your relationship status? Single and absolutely not looking. 10) How do you want to die? Very quickly or in my sleep 11) What did you last eat? A granola bar 12) Played any sports? I used to do Tennis, Swimming, Gymnastics all very briefly as a kid. Took Tae-Kwon-Do and got all the way to high red belt before the dojo went under. T_T I also took horse back riding lessons for a year which was absolutely wonderful. Currently getting really into running and training for 5ks. 13) Do you bite your nails? No. I like them long anyway 14) When was your last physical fight? I don’t do physical fights? 15) Do you have an attitude? I can. I can be an atrocious little sass master XD 16) Do you like someone? I am assuming this is a “do you have a crush on someone” question, which I don’t. 17) What is your real name? Anna 18) What is the background of you computer screen? A picture of a bunch of islands from the sky. I love the contrast of the blue and green. 19) Are you gonna get high later? Don’t do drugs 20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? No. I’ve found that hating people is too exhausting. Why focus on someone who is oblivious to your hate and spend energy on trying to take them down? Best revenge is to just learn to move on and self love and keep those people out of your life. Took me ages to get there though and sometimes it’s hard. 21) Do you miss someone? I miss my grandparents. 22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl. 23) Do you tan a lot? Hahah not at all XD I am pale as a vampire and burn just as easily. 24) Have any pets? T_T We just put the last of them down last month. I used to have two wonderful ferrets and a Labrador. 25) How exactly are you feeling?! A little sleepy and kind of worn down. 26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yes 27) Ever made out in the bathroom? No 28) Would you take any of your exes back? I don’t have any 29) Are you afraid of spiders? Nah. I am actually the designated spider remover/killer of my group of friends and family.  XD 30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I SURE WOULD!! that would be so cool to experience history first hand ^^ 31) Do you regret anything from your past? Nah. 32) What are your plans for this weekend? I have work and THEN I HAVE MY BIRTHDAY I AM GOING TO BE SO OLD HELP ME (I actually won’t be that old but still I was hoping to be more accomplished before I turned almost 30). 33) Do you want to have kids? Hahaha no. Let me be the godperson or the aunt or whatever but I don’t actually want kids. 34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? No? 35) Do you type fast? Usually. 36) Do you have piercings? Nope. 37) Want any more? Noooo. 38) Can you spell well? Hahahhaa, I frequently spell things so wrong I have to google it cause spell check can’t help me XD 39) Do you miss anyone from your past? No actually. I’m grateful for the experiences and things I learned, but I don’t want those people back in my life. 40) What are you craving right now? nothing actually. 41) Ever been to a bonfire party? I have a feeling that if I say yes it will be saying yes to something I have never actually done/been to but my family usually does big bonfires in the fall and we all hang out and sometimes have friends over? 42) Have you ever been to jail? Nope. 43) Have you ever been on a horse? Yes! Many times. I freaking love horses. <3 44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck? Nope. 45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? No. 46) Have you ever been cheated on? Not applicable 47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Never had one 48) What time is it currently? 4:30 EST 49) Would you live with someone without marrying them? Sure I mean isn’t that what being a roommate is? 50) What should you be doing? Writing. I have rp replies and a novella to write XD 51) What’s irritating you right now? My mild headache that I can’t quite seem to get rid of. 52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Not reeeally? 53) Does somebody love you? Besides family and friends, nope. 54) What is your favorite color? Green, Blue, Black, Purple, Brown 55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes. But it’s a pain in the butt. 0/10 57) Do you have trust issues? I have some? 58) You are over half way done with this. Are you sure you want to continue? I am not finished until I have answered all eleventy-one questions. No I will not stop making Lord of the Ring references. 59) Do you have any siblings? I do. I have a sister. ^^ 60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I have a really strong relationship with my parents. 61) Do you live with anyone? My parents 62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Not applicable 63) Who was the last person you cried in front of? My best friend. I just completely broke down and she was like “ok cool beans, I got this” and was super great. 64) Do you give out second chances too easily? Nope. I know my boundaries and if you cross ‘em, you cross ‘em, and I’m out, your loss. 65) Is it easier to forgive or forget? It’s a lot easier to forgive. I frankly think it’s stupid to forgive and forget. Remember, so that you can learn from it, possibly help others, and so that those who wronged you can’t do it again (or as easily at least). 66) Is this year the best year of your life? Absolutely not. It hasn’t been a horrible year by any means though. It’s just had its rough patches. 67) What was your childhood nickname? Anna Banana. 68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? wh-....why would I ever do that? XD 69) What is your motto in life? Hakuna Matata 70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yeah. 71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Brushed my teeth 72) Do you have a best friend? I do. <3 73) What is bothering you? My headache and the fact that word counts do not go up if you don’t actually write the words. The fact that writing can’t happen by osmosis really bugs me. But I think that it bugs most writers XD 74) Have you ever been out of your country? No. T_T 75) Do you play the Wii? I don’t have one. 76) Are you listening to music right now? No. But I am watching a murder mystery show (Death in Paradise). 77) Do you like Chinese food? GIVE ME!! *grabby hands* 78) Do you know your fathers b- day? I do. But I am not sharing that information. 79) Are you afraid of the dark? No. The dark isn’t scary. It’s what’s in it. 80) Is cheating ever okay? No 81) Are you mean? I can be incredibly mean but I try not to be and leave the situation if I know my temper might get the best of me. 82) Can you keep white shoes clean? Hhahaha my childhood has proven this is an impossibility for me. XD 83) What was the last song you listened to? Why Not (Hilary Duff) 84) Do you believe in true love? Yes. 85) What are you currently wearing? Jeans and a t-shirt 86) What do you wear to bed? Usually just a t-shirt. It gets hot at night here during the summer. 87) What is the weather like right now? IT’S SO HOT AND HUMID WHY DO I LIVE IN THE SOUTH??? 88) Do you like the outside? I freaking love the outdoors. <3 89) Are you currently bored? Nah. I’ve got my tv show, I’m good. 90) Do you wanna get married? I’m so happy being single that I have a really hard time picturing myself ever being married. It’s just not something that interests me. 91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No cause I’m not into that. 92) Are you hungry? Nope. 93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? No. XD 94) What makes you happy? RP-ing, writing, photography, reading, watching murder mysteries/true crime shows 95) Would you change your name? Mayyyybe? But I like it. 96) Ever been to Alaska? No, but I really want to go. 98) Do you watch the news? Sometimes. 99) What’ s your zodiac sign? Cancer 100) Do you like Subway? Subway is one of my favorite sandwich places. 101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Like platonically or romantically? You’ve gotta be more specific here. 102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 1.This doesn’t really apply  2. I don’t have any male friends (namely because they refuse to respect my wishes/boundaries and I’m not here for that no matter the gender--me saying I don’t want to date you is not your cue to try harder). 103) Do you talk like your friends? Nah. I might borrow certain catch phrases but my style of talking is pretty distinct apparently? 104) What do you plan to do with the rest of your day? Just chill. Write a bit and then maybe watch an anime/read then sleep. 105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? Once or twice. If I see someone I’m no longer friends with I’ll avoid them, but won’t go majorly out of my way to do so. In the unfortunate event I do I run into them, I’ll be polite. 106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? All of my friends are girls. See number 102. 107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My dad. 108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? I can’t be around people who smoke. And I’m not interested in dating. 109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My dad. 110) Favorite lyrics right now?

I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island Everything is by design I know everybody on this island has a role on this island So maybe I can roll with mine I can lead with pride, I can make us strong I'll be satisfied if I play along But the voice inside sings a different song What is wrong with me? ~How Far I’ll Go (Moana)

111) Tag 10 people Everyone has already been taggggged. T_T (but if you haven’t been and want to be let me know and I will 100% tag you)

[thehobbblog]

Entry #23

It struck me, staring at the fire tonight. It’s the same thought I’ve already had a hundred times. There was just something about seeing Geheim--Jules-- by the fire that put it back in there. We’re not the good guys. We can’t be the good guys. You want a run down? You’re getting one. I’m looking around at annoyingly chipper faces, and the horrifying darkness. We’re all a different face of survivorship, but I don’t take that as an excuse. Let’s start with Anna. The slightly vapid young woman conjuring water in the desert, like it doesn’t mean anything. I don’t doubt her capacity to do good. If a poor soul wandered out of the desert, and into our camp; Anna would be pretty quick to offer them a drink, or a place by the fire. I just don’t think she cares about doing good. She’s completely unconcerned with the morals of what we’re doing. Guide the plant people? Sure, that’s a fine thing to do. Plant people are running to death? Ah, well can’t save everybody right? Help the slime people fight back the forest druid? Yeah, this murder is justified! The druid repays you with a vision quest? Ah, sure can’t hurt; as long as I don’t have to change my mindset. I mean, you’d think the “Druid” would give a shit what happens to the plants she puts under her care right? Feel some ethical responsibility? I don’t get it. She took and tore the Devily’s suicide papers because “It was the right thing to do” but it didn’t really “do” anything. I don’t get it, and her increasingly apathetic attitude is starting to get to me. Maybe that’s just how you survive down here. A healthy dose of double think. Let’s move on to Alice, since she’s no stranger to the spotlight. A true mercenary if I’ve ever seen one, let me tell you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Alice do something for the greater good. The first words out of her mouth upon hearing someone’s plight are about what the reward is going to be. Despite this, she never has enough cash on her. She’s always needing a loan, or a spot for the next big project she’s never actually going to accomplish. So why is she here? I haven’t heard much about it, but these two were apparently from St Bernard. They came down here looking for Jules, who got lost. So if she’s truly a mercenary, why’d she be selfless? I dunno, but here she is working on her bow and ranting about Violence. Apparently, she took Violence's scarf without asking--probably because Violence was bored and wanted to start a feud-- and now has dreams of renaming the scarf and ending Violence’s smug grin. She sounds like a fucking psycho when she starts about what she’s going to do to him with that knife.  Maybe asking “Where is my next dinner coming from” every day is a good way to survive. Calling mercenary behavior “Heroic” is just incorrect. She’s not one of the good guys, but she’s capable of it. And you know what pisses me off about both of them? The Butchery. I didn’t hear shit about the butchery from them. I had to hear about it from everyone else. A group of plants killing and butchering Devilys for food, with special knives designed to keep bodies from dusting. Who fucking knows how they do that? Maybe they’re all named “Meat” and by stabbing someone they make them “Meat” and keep them from turning to dust. The point is, they were a central player in this. They were right there, in the trenches. And they don’t talk about it. This was the worst even in many people’s lives, people only tangentially connected to it. And here are Anna and Alice, arguing about payment, and loot. Carrying one of the freaking knives. Isn’t that like if we found a skeleton wielding a piece of rebar from 9/11? Or a gun from the Manson murder spree? Fuck me man, put that away.  Alright, well maybe they’re bad examples. They’ve been down here too long, been turned into just survivors. Let’s move on.  Avram Jovinsky is an oddly smug penis that walks like a man. That was crass actually, let me start again. Avram is largely greed driven, and self interested. I’ve watched him berate a child over an impossibly large sum of money. I’ve seen him break all his shit and make it our problem. It’s not rare for him to fuck off after battles, taking his medical knowledge with him for a nap in the cart. He even risked all our lives for that fucking armour he wears around, and then demands I stand in front of him anyway. The guy’s fucking possessed by a demon. Did you know that? Asshole got shot a bunch, and got resurrected with a demon. A demon that’s growing stronger. It’s made pretty fucking clear in my holy book, that the domain of life is God’s responsibility. Every second he lives under protection of that actual fucking demon is a separate sin. And he still finds the time to give me shit for my faith, call himself a true follower. We have no idea how any of this shit works, and I hope it doesn’t work like he says it. The guy’s lost an arm, his agency and his soul, and I honestly can’t pin why he’s still here. When I first met Avram, he used my life as a bargaining chip. I’m not certain he ever stopped. So, Weylinn then. I’ve talked well about him before. He’s a good guy. Well this judgment wasn’t mine to give. Weylinn tries to be a voice of reason. He tries to mediate, to see the other side. Play devil’s advocate, hedge his bets. He doesn’t take risks, and he’s invested in surviving more than anything else. Yeah, he’s pretty set of getting Geheim back together--much more than the two people actually here to save Jules-- but if you ask me, he’s almost more comfortable with Geheim being a cute little doll friend than an actual screaming, crying little girl. He’s always got a good reason not to do things, and so do I. We found comradere in cowardace, and that needs to end. I’ve seen how he acts, all laughing and wit. But I’ve also seen him when shit hits the fan. I’ve seen the look in his eyes when Moloch charged him down. I saw his frown when the plants were tearing us apart, and I saw him volunteer to leave us behind on that journey. I’ve also seen him volunteer to stay behind to “Keep watch” at the tower. Weylinn’s #1 priority is ensuring Weylinn survives another day. And nobody can say that isn’t fair. I just don’t think it’s right.  And then Lucas. The enigma. The other. Guy shows up in a mask, and spends the first few days coldly passing judgment on us.    But he’s warmed up. He got a pet, we learned about his brother and by extension his father. He’s an ok shot. A really lackluster lasso... person. Lassoier? Lossoer? Lassie? He keeps himself groomed well, he’s concerned with keeping everyone moving forward and he really cared about getting his pet fed. His slime, Lux eats corpses. Which is horrific. I’ll be honest, I can’t get a read on Lucas. The mask doesn’t help. What I know about him, is that’ he’s curious. He isn’t afraid to ask questions, like how Anna and Alice will just ignore quandaries, Also, the Hero Hunter wanted him more than anyone. Regardless of how I feel, Lucas is the best of us. and I need to respect that.  And when the best of us is a cannibal, what hope is there? That’s my problem. I’m smart enough to realize that. This narrative doesn’t work as I’ve explained it. As I see it, nobody has a reason to be here. Not the careless, nor the mercenary, nor the cunt or the coward have a reason to be out in the desert facing death and disease for the plant people and the girl. So I’ve gotta be wrong about this. I gotta be misjudging, or not understanding. But I can’t help it. I see the faces, and the grimaces. I hear the groans and the complaining. And it’s made clear. If we’re the good guys, then there isn’t a whole lot of hope for the Underground. I’m just worried for the girl. She’s got a voice now, and with that a new outlook. This means something now, and we need to take responsibility for it. We need to take responsibility for a lot of things, actually. There’s no more dancing around it. You’ve probably caught on, but I haven’t said it yet. I fucked it up. I was given the chance of a lifetime here, and I fucked it up. I’m not a Paladin anymore.  I took Weylinn’s advice in the Divide, and that was too much. The headache got worse, and all the powers left. The healing, the aura, the good feeling. It’s all gone. As far as I can tell, it’s not coming back. I was really thrown a softball with this one. “Hey”, said the universe, “You’re a good guy, with no direction. Here’s some storybook powers, go out there and do good!” And I could have done good. I could have left this group at the fair, and wandered around solving problems. I could have left after the Halls, riding Stuart around from settlement to settlement around the Exiled lands and help people. Fuck, I could have stopped at any point, and carved a name for myself. I didn’t do any of that. I failed time after time, and someone finally had enough. There’s no arguing about it. What we did in that Dao’s home, was bad. If it was anything but very evil, I’d still have a chance. But I don’t. I don’t know if there’s any getting them back. I don’t know if I deserve them back. I think I just lost my ticket to the boy’s club of Sakko, Rialto and friends. As well as random kindnesses for being a good guy. Alice got her freedom, the Sage got his knowledge Weylinn gets his safe deal. And all it cost them was my self worth. I’m not proud of how I acted when reaching the surface, but I was so angry. The headache didn’t let up, and Weylinn was wandering around complaining about something he lost. I was about to give him a lecture in what it feels like to lose things, when he ran off. The asshole misplaced Geheim, left her to run off on her own. What the fuck kind of guardian does he think he is? At least Stuart can defend himself. I tried to have a fucking conversation about what had just happened, and what it meant. And he tried to talk me down. Tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. Like he didn’t care. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to hit someone more than I did in that moment. I could do it too, I’ve felt that glass jaw crumple before. But Geheim was on his shoulder, and she was very vocal.  So I hit him where it would hurt more. Geheim wanted to show everyone what a hero she was. I made it viscerally clear to both her and Weylinn that he isn’t a hero. That he’s incapable of becoming a hero. If Weylinn was to change himself to be more heroic, he’d stop being Weylinn. I layed hands on him, threatened to cave his eye socket in, threw him kind of gruffly. But I didn’t hurt him. I wanted to hurt him. Avram, the two hundred pound sack of shit in gaudy armour tried to calm me down. Specifically, he tried to explain that his faith is the correct one, and that because he has HIS powers, everything’s fine and will continue to be fine. I was about to bury my fist in his nose cavity for his care, but the asshole hides behind half a foot of steel and gold at all time. I had to step down. I didn’t want to hurt him, as much as I wanted to watch him in pain. Geheim promised me she’d make Weylinn behave with more honor from now on, and I stormed off. This headache was killing me, and I just wanted to see Stuart again. It’s over, I fucked up. And nobody cares. Because they don’t care about anything. They’d care if I lit all our shit on fire, but that’s only until they walk back to town and stumble into a new cart full of supplies. Stuart was just pleased to see me again. We split jerky and sort of watched the horizon pass by for a while.  We met with the Sage, and returned his intelligence. He repaid us with a quick mediation session, and a piece of paper. The paper is a prediction of tomorrow's market changes, and could make anyone with the capital to invest a fortune. The meditation session had me re-live some painful memories and then he asked to be thanked. Avram badgered the guy for the ring we brought the intelligence in, and we left.  Which leads us back here. Sleeping in the desert. Waiting to be rushed by dust creatures. I’ve repurposed a modesty veil to function as a sort of bandana, or gas mask. Hopefully dust has a hard time making it through a filter of silk and water.  Weylinn brought wood this time, which was nice. No dust monsters came, but we did hear a skeleton around in the dark. My watch was third, and Alice got up to watch with me, apparently concerned with how well I’d watch the darkness with my habit of listening to music, or getting lost in thought. Serves her right, because I was the only one to notice something get into our cart. I checked up on Stuart, in his box (he sleeps like an invertebrate angel) and then found what was tampered with. Some benefactor left me a present. I know it was for me, because it was cigarettes, Nobody else smokes, I’d be able to tell if they were an addict. I don’t share this information with people, except for the other day. I asked in the Jewel if anyone had seen someone selling tobacco. That was it. But here they were. A mostly empty pack of “Robust Gold” cigarettes. They smell just wonderful, and the package seems to use real gold. Knowing how the Underground works, it means they use real Robust too. I’m keeping them with me, in a leather sack to keep the water out. I want to light up, but I shouldn’t. Not until I need to.  The cigarettes weren’t the only thing. There was a scrap of cloth and a note. The cloth, is Violence’s. Or the cloth is Violence. I’m still unclear ont hat. The note said “I’m exited” I don’t understand what it all means, but I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to. I mean, I’ve been getting handsy, yeah. I can’t seem to get a point to these people unless I grab them, or push them about. Yeah, hurting things feels good. But that’s just how this works. Drawing blood is nice, it’s visceral. Everyone knows that. It’s not weird. But whoever dropped this off, they’re trying to say something. They’re doing it based off knowledge they couldn’t possibly know, short of mind reading or spying. Alice isn’t getting Violence’s cloth back. I’ve decided that. If she cared about it, she would have got it before we left the city. And I didn’t nearly die for this damn cloth if she doesn’t even care for it. But, I’m not wearing it. I shouldn’t, right? It’s bad, it’s sinful. It’s an item steeped in blood and horror. I don’t need my paladin abilities to know this is a bad idea. But it’s here, and it’s in y hands. And someone seems to think it’s a good thing. I wonder if it’s Fate. Rialto is going to be furious when he sees me not only not a paladin, but carrying this thing. I don’t give a shit.

[theo-ramsay]

theo

BASIC STATISTICS

FULL NAME: Mateo Olivier Ramsay NAME ORIGIN: Ask my mom, bruh...oh wait. NAME MEANING: “gift from God” NICKNAMES: Theo, it’s what I go by. Almost no one knows that it’s short for Mateo. NICKNAME ORIGINS: A neighbor, actually. I came home from the hospital and she couldn’t remember my name so she just kept calling me Theo. SEX: Male AGE: 24 BIRTHDAY: March 26th, 1990 PLACE OF BIRTH: Seattle, Washington ETHNICITY/NATIONALITY: Caucasian SEXUALITY: Bi, preference is men. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single and definitely mingling. POLITICAL ALLEGIANCE: Liberal CRIMINAL RECORD: I once was hauled in for vandalism when i was but a teenager. spent one night in jail then my mom came and got him

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 6′0″ WEIGHT: 190 lbs EYE COLOR: Blue NEED GLASSES/CONTACTS? Yes HAIR COLOR: Blonde DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Jaw SCARS: I has one on my back from falling on a skateboard and a couple on my arm from a hospital visit after a terrible terrible IV experience. TATTOOS: ‘my oh my’ written on his back in a mariners logo, I has a couple others I’ve designed for Barry and Alex.  WHO DOES S/HE TAKE AFTER?: I'd like to think my mom but I got my hair color and jawline from my dad. LEFT OR RIGHT-HANDED?: Right

EVERYDAY BEHAVIORS/HABITS

ADDICTIONS: Erm. Adrenaline maybe. MORNING ROUTINE: I wake up at 5, showers and primps for the day, goes into the shop to assist his baristas during peak, does the order and calls in any mechanical problems AFTERNOON: eats lunch, paperwork mostly and other behind-the-scenes things he has to do for the shop EVENING ROUTINE: gets the evening crew set up, goes home to Barry SLEEP HABITS: I cuddle anything within arm’s reach when I’m sleeping DOES THIS CHARACTER SNORE? surprisingly, no. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS OR SKILLS? I'm an artist over a few mediums but my favorite is definitely visual. painting, spray-paint, shit like that. WHAT IS S/HE PARTICULARLY UNSKILLED AT? Math HOBBIES: I fucking love baseball and i’ll pick up his guitar every now and again when i finds time

LIFE

CURRENT ADDRESS: Manhatten, New York DOES S/HE RENT OR OWN? Rent DOES S/HE LIVE WITH ANYONE? IF SO, WHO? Barry, Alex, Boo BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF HOME: Tiny and packed with everyone’s things, it’s a   jungle in there WHAT IS THEIR BEDROOM LIKE? I share one with Barry and the bed takes most of the room. DOES S/HE DRIVE? IF SO, WHAT CAR? i’ve never learned how to drive. SPOUSE/PARTNER: ....Barry CHILDREN: None. WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS/HER CHILD(REN)? N/A PETS: does the toddler count? OCCUPATION: Owner of the Mudhouse which right now kind of feels like a glorified barista JOB SATISFACTION: It’s...very hard owning a small business right now. You gotta want it and god damn it, you gotta work around the clock for it. INCOME: Enough to get by. GENERAL HEALTH: I have diabetes but don’t worry ya’ll, I still have all my toes and shit, PAST HEALTH PROBLEMS, IF ANY: other than problems managing my diabetes when I was younger? not really much.

FAMILY OF ORIGIN

FATHER: Anthony Burke FATHER’S OCCUPATION: Lawyer? Accountant? I dunno man, he wears a suit I think? Whatever, go ask him. MOTHER: Cassidy Burke MOTHER’S OCCUPATION: She was an art teacher. DID THE CHARACTER’S PARENTS RAISE HIM/HER? IF NOT, WHY? My mom raised me. Why? Uh, because my dad’s a coward? ARE THE CHARACTER’S PARENTS STILL TOGETHER? IF NOT, WHY? No, because he’s a dick and she’s dead. DOES THE CHARACTER LIVE WITH HIS/HER PARENTS? No DOES THE CHARACTER HAVE SIBLINGS? No HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR SIBLINGS CHANGED SINCE CHILDHOOD? N/A DESCRIBE HIS/HER FAMILY LIFE AND DYNAMIC WHILE GROWING UP: I remember it being pretty fun but real tough sometimes when money got tight, my mom had me when she was 17 and essentially raised me alone but she never really let me know we were in any trouble when I was really young.  I spent a lot of it just kind of running around Seattle causing trouble with neighborhood kids. My dad sometimes would pop in and out if he was feeling guilty about leaving but surprise, he’d always leave again.

THE PAST

HOMETOWN: Seattle, WA DESCRIBE HIS/HER CHILDHOOD: I’d say it was pretty fun. EARLIEST MEMORY: I remember the opening for a news broadcast when I was toddler-age. HAPPIEST MEMORY: Not sure I have one. Not that my life is sad or anything but I think that the best is coming so I don’t wanna commit. SADDEST MEMORY: When my mom died, I would never wish that 48 hours on my worst enemy. MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY: I bought the Mudhouse when I was off my face and I straight-up forgot for like, a week. MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN THE CHARACTER’S LIFE THAT STILL AFFECTS HIM/HER AND WHY/HOW: Once I was on the plane to Florida after my mom’s funeral, I kinda knew that it was like, the start of a new life. It was a very hard 48 hours. my life in Seattle feels so far away now HOW MUCH SCHOOL DID S/HE ATTEND? DOES S/HE LIKE SCHOOL? I, um, got into NYU’s visual art program but I couldn’t afford it...never considered going back. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THIS CHARACTER HAS EVER DONE? I’d rather not say.

EMOTIONAL CHARACTERISTICS

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral FOUR TEMPERAMENTS: Choleric. SPONTANEOUS OR STRUCTURED? Spontaneous HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER MOST CHANGED FROM YOUTH? A little more focused when it’s time to be and he’s better about being honest about his emotions. HOW HAS THIS CHARACTER REMAINED THE SAME? Still incredibly impulsive and doesn’t always consider consequences. Still kinda reckless.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS

WHO IS HIS/HER BEST FRIEND? Barry and Alex ANY SECRET ATTRACTIONS/CRUSHES: None FIRST CRUSH/ROMANTIC LOVE: Can’t remember CURRENT GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND/SPOUSE: ....BARRY! PEOPLE S/HE DISLIKES: No one, really? I don’t know man, it’s hard holding a grudge. HAS S/HE LOST TOUCH WITH ANYONE SIGNIFICANT IN HIS/HER LIFE? IF SO, WHY? People move, people change. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAS S/HE DATED? DESCRIBE EACH RELATIONSHIP. Okay, FIRST OFF, we’re absolutely not doing this because I would literally be talking all fucking day. I’ve slept around a bit.

SEX/ROMANTIC LIFE

WHAT DO THEY CONSIDER TO BE A ROMANTIC DATE? Art gallery showing or a gig. Anytime I open up my art. HOW DOES A NORMAL DATE GO FOR THIS CHARACTER? Normally I just goes with someone to a bar and then fall into bed with them. Not really a dater. HOW WOULD THEY LIKE TO PROPOSE OR BE PROPOSED TO? I’d make a huge fucking deal out of it. I can be a little, as the kids say, dramatic. VIRGIN? hahahahahaha no. DESCRIBE HIS/HER SEX LIFE: Man, the man is non-stop. HOW OFTEN DOES THIS CHARACTER HAVE SEX? Once every couple of days at the absolute least. HOW LONG CAN S/HE GO WITHOUT SEX? Like a week. Or else I get cranky. HOW DOES THIS CHARACTER FEEL EMOTIONALLY AFTER SEX? Normally I try to slip out after sex but most of the time I’m just relaxed. DOES SEX PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN HIS/HER RELATIONSHIP? Not as much as I thought. TOP OR BOTTOM? Flexible. Most times I’m with dudes I like being a bottom. DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? I find myself being more submissive lately. WHAT WAS HIS/HER FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? IS IT A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE MEMORY? It was painfully average. HAVE THEY EVER IMPREGNATED SOMEONE, OR BEEN IMPREGNATED? Not that I...know of. HAVE THEY EVER HAD INTERCOURSE OR A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE SEX IN WHICH THEY ARE NOT ATTRACTED? No.

MENTAL ATTITUDES/PERSONAL BELIEFS

MYERS BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE: ENFP ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES?  ENNEAGRAM: #7 - The Enthusiast KNOWN LANGUAGES: English SELF-CONFIDENCE: I’m the hottest piece of ass in any room and I damn well know it. OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST? Can be a little pessimistic...is there a word for kinda both? EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? Extrovert. EMOTIONAL OR LOGICAL? Very emotional. PATIENT OR IMPATIENT? Impatient. COMPASSIONATE OR SELF-INVOLVED? Self-involved. WHAT DOES S/HE LIKE MOST ABOUT HIM/HERSELF? Confidence. WHAT DOES S/HE LIKE LEAST ABOUT HIM/HERSELF? Recklessness. WHOM DOES S/HE REALLY LOVE BEST? Barry and Alex. WHAT IS HIS/HER GREATEST FEAR? Becoming nothing. CHARACTER’S GREATEST STRENGTH: My confidence and ability to handle situations as they come. CHARACTER’S GREATEST FLAW/WEAKNESS: I’m so all-systems-go and charging forward that I don’t...consider consequences. My recklessness is my worst flaw. SEVEN VIRTUES: Diligence SEVEN SINS: Slut? BIGGEST VULNERABILITY (NONPHYSICAL): It’s very easy to get me to do things if you rile me up enough. BIGGEST REGRET: Ooh, maybe not going to college? BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Getting accepted into NYU. WHAT IS/ARE THE CHARACTER’S BIGGEST, DARKEST SECRETS? (He sometimes has suicide ideation and it’s stronger than he’d like to admit) WHO ELSE KNOWS, IF ANYONE? No one. SHORT TERM GOALS: Pay rent. LONG TERM GOALS: Have the Mudhouse survive in the economy and become something to the neighborhood. WHAT EVENT OR OCCURRENCE DOES S/HE MOST DREAD OR FEAR? Losing everything on this stupid coffeehouse. WHAT DOES S/HE ACTIVELY WORK TO GAIN, KEEP, OR PROTECT? That stupid coffeehouse. WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER’S DREAM JOB? I always wanted to be like, a real artist. But this is a cool second. RELIGION: Agnostic DOES THE CHARACTER BELIEVE IN A GOD OR GODDESS? No IS RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS CHARACTER’S LIFE? Nah SUPERSTITION: None CHINESE ZODIAC: Horse ASTROLOGICAL ZODIAC: Aries ELEMENT: Fire

LIKES AND DISLIKES

COLOR: Royal blue FOOD: Crab DRINK: Black-eye BOOK: Ha. I don’t read. THEME SONG: I will rock out to that Orange is the New Black song for my entire life. MUSIC GENRE: Alternative PLACE: Seattle PERSON: Barry MOVIE: Trainspotters TV SHOW: Parks and Rec SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: Art ANIMAL: Cat LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Goose WHERE DOES THIS CHARACTER LIKE TO HANG OUT? A blues bar by where we live. WHERE IS THIS CHARACTER’S DREAM PLACE TO LIVE? Moving back to Seattle but only if Barry and Alex can come with. WHAT SORTS OF BOOKS ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE FOUND ON THEIR SHELVES? Ha. MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: Transit. SEASON: Fall. HOLIDAY: That month between Thanksgiving and Christmas is cool. FLOWER: Erm. Ones that smell nice? POSSESSION: I still have a baseball jersey that belonged to my mom and it’s literally the last thing I have of her.