#I had chills so many times bc of this
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All the tears and emotions aside, my main thought while watching Black Panther: Wakanda Forever was
Women
Women
Women
WOMEN
#I was fucking chanting it under my breath#I did not walk into this movie expecting the black Panther sequel to be so entirely about women#but it was#black panther wakanda forever#black panther#I’m still processing how to describe how it feels to see a superhero movie where women take center stage#and yet the fact that they are women is never mentioned#it’s not a big deal#I had chills so many times bc of this#mcu#women#women in armor#<-arguably my favorite tag
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"This is a message to you, who listens. You must trust me, because we are friends. You just don't know it yet. "
(The Road to PARTIZAN 05 : Ech0 & dusk to midnight)
currently halfway through PARTIZAN (making my way towards palisade extremely slowly. see u guys there in a month or two) & this is to date my favourite intro Austin has done. what an great introduction to an extremely cool character
#Partizan#road to partizan#friends at the table#fatt#gur sevraq#ive been wanting to draw something for that intro ever since i first heard it but i didnt. even know who gur sevraq was at that point.#but its been On My Mind#rosa art#im fairly happy with this i had a lot of fun coming up w the composition. it felt like a puzzle bc i knew what i wanted...#the lineless artstyle is something ive been trying out more and it doesnt come easy but it is fun. (so many layers.....)#you can zoom in for details because. ofthe person i am i always have to add little lines everywhere#well i usually write kind of a lot in the tags but ive been drawing for 5 hours nonstop. my brains kind of wiped.#i havent taken my walk yet so. i will now do that#...usually id listen to more partizan but millenium break is. literally not relaxing and i need to chill a bit#might put on the new bluff.#oh one more thing every time i relisten to that intro i do a little ME? gesture i hear that first line. its fun to me#edit: ok i moved the text slightly it was bothering me !#probably noone else will notice.
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Can someone confirm or deny if my interpretation of q!etoiles’ relationship with the code basically being like q!slime and q!badboyhalo’s relationship in purgatory.
Like this whole conversation basically seems to be his current feelings on the code to me
#just to clarify bc i do remember the convo q!slime and q!bad had after this#i am not shipping q!etoiles with the code#he just has fought it so many times that he now has a deep connection with it#to the point where hes just chill with the fact his body is turning into it#does that make any sense#qsmp#qsmp etoiles#q!etoiles#qsmp code monster#gingersp1ce547
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Saejima and his prison crew still meeting up sometimes to have dinner and beers and maybe a tabletop role play is a head canon that I simply think is very cute.
#rggo sending him back bc he wanted to properly thank okudera and check in on him was the best thing ever to me#bc i already had thr idea in my head that of all the lads he is actually the one most likely to keep relationships up to some degree#which is sweet when you think about him not seeing anyone for 25 years and then think about what happened with Yasuko#So I was like yeah he and Kido def get beers once in a while and catch up#once all the boys are out im certain same shit for them too#its just a nice idea to me#also him and himura are still just funny to me#he could have been so much more reluctant about their weird sapporo roleplay visit thing#but he just went along with it 😂#oshima and baba just sitting there like 😐😐 this shit again#it would make no sense to send majima back to hokkaido when he was arrested at the start of 6#but i hope they did and he an the old boys at least got to chill together ☠️#saejima not majima eo yai yai so many jimas so little time#thank fuck daigo gets called daigo and not dojima id be fuckin him up too
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been following you since PRE bubblegum karkat days and it’s been really nice watching you grow and heal and whenever i see you on my dash and think of your growth it reminds me of my own healing journey. i find that really nice
HAHA that was AGES ago dude. my god. i cant believe youre still around, that was like, the worst of it LOLOL weve both probably come a looong way since then, yeah. life used to be abysmal but now ive got my hubby and mother in law and were moving to nola next month so theres nothing to fear =')
#we found the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood in the perfect part of the city so#we are hoping and praying. our sickass real estate agent did a walkthru yesterday and said#'its been on the market for a while so if you put in for it youll probably get it'#very exciting news theres even a patio we can screen in EASILY for our cats#right outside our bedroom door! it would be perfect for entertaining!#were finally going to make irl friends!!!!! sdkjksdjfksd#i had a couple freak friends in phoenix and like 2 cool friends but like. mostly. freaks.#so im hoping to make real actual friends this go round cause we sure as hell didnt out here in the sticks of al#yippeeeeeeee#babe is also going to get a job so i can take a break bc ive been doing coms to support us for years now and its STRESSFUL#im gunna get to go on a small vacation and kick back like#life is so good#im so excited to rest and chill#im gunna sew!! so much stuff!!!!#maybe ill even list some on here for people to buy like i just want to make so many little dudes all the time#but i dont have the time or energy to devote to that bc making patterns takes time and materials#IDK IDK TOTALLY OFF TOPIC#i dont talk about my daily life much actually its usually just specific shit so im taking the opportunity to say.#i grew up in a VERY bleak way. brother were talking moldy food bank food house rotting both my guardians so so sick#dropped out of middle school to be a fulltime caregiver lost both of them anyway#then a bunch of falling out with my family etc etc i had NOTHING going into my twenties but a FUCKTON of trauma and mistrust#and now im heading for my thirties and i am the healthiest and happiest i have ever been in my entire life#i look great i feel great i do pretty good for myself and the people around me#i love love love my friends im t4t gay married i have a cat thats like a pokemon partner. to me. its perfect#yes weve made a lot of plans that have fallen thru and were not where we thought we would be by now#but honestly? honestly? my life is really great. were broke as fuck but we get by and we love each other and thats whats UUUUUUUP#youll get there! just keep going! you have no idea what kinds of opportunities youll be offered in your life that can change everything
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no but seriously the next person that makes a joke/comment about me fucking/dating my only guy friend because people 1) feel the need to press heteronormative bullshit onto every different-sex friendship and make the mass generalization that men and women always secretly want to fuck each other and 2) genuinely don’t view asexuality/aromanticism as valid and cannot comprehend how to be supportive and validating of it,, is going to get their shit rocked bc I’ve had about fucking enough of it :)
#no bc it’s happened to often#I’ve never really had guy friends tbh#like guy friends that were just mine#I’ve hung out in groups where guys were there but I’ve never had a guy friend that only me and him went and did things#bc I don’t feel safe around men uwu#but this year I’ve made a guy friend. and he’s super sweet and I really like him!! we have a great time hanging out and it’s purely platonic#he’s dating a girl and he knows I’m aroace and is totally chill with that !! so we have the understanding that I am genuinely INCAPABLE#of being into him. and he is NOT into me. we are just. friends.#but we go out to lunch/dinner and hang out and blah blah#and today we hung out to a few hours between classes and wandered around downtown and we bought matching stuffed mice lol#they’re so cute I love them#and I was showing off my mouse to people and happily explaining my day#and so many of my friends… all of my irl friends… were like#‘so you went on a date? so you’re into him? that’s a date sweetheart. you’re totally gonna get married and have babies with him’#like those are ALL things that friends actually said#and it just made me feel like actively nauseous#bc 1) the thought of it makes me sick and 2) the fact that my friends just. don’t care about my sexuality#and my expression that I’ve reiterated time and TIME again makes me crazy#bc I know that every single time i mention Caleb people are hopping on it and wanting me to date him#and this is another reason I’ve never had guy friends!!#like oh my gOd!! I’m not into men!! leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!#yeah it makes me really upset :)#that’s my complaint of the week sigh#it’s heteronormative BULLSHIT!!! and the permeation of sex into oit society!!!#some of us don’t want to fuck our guy friends!!!!#leave me alone or be fucking nice to me#nobody would make jokes if I got matching mice with a woman#I HAVE matching stuffed animals with women!! it’s just something I do with FRIENDS#why are different sex friendships different#die maybe have u considered that
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Some screencaps from TTCC Pride 2023 :3
Except without people's chat messages because they gave me an actual headache (But also thank you everyone who hung out with me there even if I needed to escape the masses later)
Cogs Only Club Moment BTW
#ttr was a bit more chill...ttcc is more about shipping and advertising their twitters it gave me a headache :skull:#but still ttcc is my main domain here and i had a lot of fun here#was a bit easier to meet up with my friends here!! it was fun. sad i couldnt do a last legit high roller today but...#we did a roleplay joke one so we good LOL#again tysm everyone who chilled at the pizza bc i knew a bunch of ppl there were from tumblr and i recognized em :]#kinda had to escape the Evils Of The Masses because It's Too Many People For My Brain To Handle#hope if there's a pride next time it'll be cool as well!! events like this don't happen a lot in toontown.#toontown#toontown corporate clash#game screenshots
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#[ aaaaa i have so many interesting asks! :OO thank you so much for sending I'M HYPED ]#[ - i'm thinking i'll get some of my drafts done today first ]#[ bc WOW i've had them for so long i gotta get better at answering in a timely manner ]#[ i also really wanna play some smite tho uvu ]#[ aiming for a chill day with writing and gaming ]#[ hope you're all having a good morning! :D ]#toby post. ╱ out of character.
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#;ooc#ooc#X.IANZHOU L.UOFU DONE; P.ENACONY NOW#/havent been writting at all bc rl stuff and speedrunning s.tar r.ail#SO I CAN MEET- 3 other beloveds;#also bc im gonna make a h.sr b.log so im absorbing all (<- i say this as i barely understand the gist)#;delete later#considering i started like;; last week; i think i got here pretty fast-ish#or well i dunno how it would be in comparison to starting from scratch on g.enshin; last stop should be like;; i.nazuma in terms of#timeline? like if u only concentrated on world story quests only#but also my god when i think back; someone would have to lit pay me to replay all of g.enshin's story#SO MANY TIMES I HAD TO LOOK UP ON YT HOW TO SOLVE PUZZLES AAAAAA#im having spiritual DMG whenever i think about it#here it was much more mmmmm; easy to flow- like it didnt feel so tedious#like i didnt need to do 48975489758 character and npc quests to advance the story#so im so glad about that; and the auto farm option + skip already seen dialogues after losing and retrying again is -chef kiss-#whenever i remember that story with the kitsune lady in i.nazuma i get chills i didn't like it at all i caNNOT#i remember how much i struggled fighting that s.amurai my characters could NOT beat him#or the w.atatsumi island one that we lit never got to see again; or the one with the smoke island GODDDDDD#AND HERE THEY GAVE US... trial j.ing yuan god bless
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fucking love it when one of my professors brings up kids in the hall in giving me feedback, not in a pandering way but in a "this is an observation i've made about their work and how you could channel this aspect in your own comedy to get yourself out of your comfort zone and play with new things"
#shoutout to my improv teacher fr#we were talking about how i don't use dynamic physicality and movement as much in my characters#and she brought up how so much of their characters are very physical and encouraged me to play with that#and also specifically character temperament and emotions and stuff bc i have a specific range i play in#and it's funny even tho i personally think my comedy style is most like bruce#and scott in a lot of ways has these uninhibited moments i wish i could throw myself into#in terms of character range/voice/temperament/emotion? i'm playing heavily in the scott zone rn#and my professor was like ''that's great but also i wanna see you play a bruce girl''#we also had a whole conversation about gender and kith and how gender plays into my improv or is absent from it a lot of the time#and holy shit erin my improv teacher wins cis ally of the day award she was so respectful while also having good feedback#(her feedback was low key ''be more overtly trans even if it makes cis people uncomfortable'')#bc like. i'm very overtly trans in my standup rn like you know how aubrey is#but in improv? sure i play many characters regardless of gender but that's the thing. it's ''regardless'' of gender#so i sort of default to being neutral so that others can project onto me. it's sort of ''idgaf i'm chill'' which in itself still is radical#but it gives ''cis allys'' who don't want to deal with gender an outlet to just project onto me in a way that i could own much more#anyway the way i process feedback is often by repeating it to someone else so like. this didn't need to be a post this is for me#but idk if you're following along with my comedy journey (or even if you just want to hear my professor reference kids in the hall!)#maybe this is of interest to you. in any case i'm very excited to play with all this stuff much more#and i definitely feel confident in my comedic identity and trans identity and most of all my trans-comedian identity#and i'm excited to see how i grow from here
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thinking about all the women whose orbits i've had to remove myself from bc they meant too much to me while i meant too little to them
#i don't talk abt this particular feeling much bc i'm not entirely convinced it's a value-neutral sort of incompatibility—#i tend to feel it's an indication of my own fundamental warping‚ that i get greedy and codependent and desperate and can't just be chill#and that it probably has something to do with the fucked-up codependent relationship model i was raised with#but it really is just like. from the high school friendship i had to drop even though i was besotted (flavor undefined) with her#bc i couldn't handle being Just One of Many Hangers-On‚ even though she said she valued and cared abt me#to the metamour i adored (flavor undefined) who supposedly valued and cared abt me too‚ but‚ like‚ not enough#to the ex-moot who remade who i really mournfully decided i couldn't re-follow bc i couldn't stop pedestalizing her#out of all proportion with the actual intimacy of our actual interactions…#idk. just feels like. very much a Recurrent Pattern for me and not a great one!#(and like. obviously the easy read here is that it was unrequited love every time; and who knows‚ maybe it was—#but it's never been obvious to me what the exact flavor of the thing was‚ just that it was sweet and tangy until eventually it stung)#anyway. i would say 'idk what even got me onto this' but actually i know exactly what got me onto this#which was: reading fic where half the pairing was aro#and like. in the fic it worked for them‚ and like‚ in life it's so often been so close to working for me!#but then the black hole of Undefined Sad Yearning inevitably starts to gape#anyway. hashtag nightblogging ig‚ lol#feelingsblogging#past lives#the psyche#(eta thinking abt it more this has also sometimes happened with trans ppl of various non-woman stripes#but in those instances i *have* just mentally filed the dynamic under (failed/abortive) romance+‚ i think#honestly very possible that's where every instance of it belongs and it's just that i don't know how to be in love with women.#like i don't identify as not-attracted-to-women‚ i'm definitely attracted to women—#'sometimes‚' i started to say‚ but like. i'm attracted to women at the same rate i'm attracted to people of other genders‚ really—#but like. societal queerphobia really does a number on you.#like. not that playing the woman's part in the cishet relationship-escalator model appeals or makes any sense for me either#but at least it's‚ idk‚ something to kick off from??#whereas with women it's just like. a ladder into mysterious fog. how do. where go.#insane to me that i'm this old and yet this is still where i am with this. god.)
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Hand me the clown shoes and wig
#papuka rambles#feel free to reblog#adding context in tags....i did double the work when i didnt need too#as in i thought i had the same assignment for both classes...no just one class#i am so tired......im going to chill b4 swirching to either continuing my notes. or the presentation reviews for both classes#(i checked so many times and yes both)#(idk how i didnt notice for the wall plaques bc i nearly panicked seeing that there wasnt the assignment in the assignments module#bc we never were assigned that same one in her other class)
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guys please pray for me or send me good energy or something i have to have a meeting with our university student welfare rep about our kitchen cleanliness 🙃
#ik i've said this so many times but i cannot stress it enough it is THE CLEANEST student kitchen i have seen in my LIFE#for a kitchen that eight students use every single day it is REMARKABLY clean#and also. i'm a fucking adult and i resent having someone like. checking up on my 'cleanliness'? and telling me off?#i'm going to try so so hard to be chill but honestly i've had a long day and idk if i can do it#but i don't want to make things worse bc i do still have to live here#ok maybe i need to eat dinner so i can think clearly#better make sure i leave not a single forensic trace of my existence in the kitchen or else i'm gonna be killed by the hygiene police#🧃
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Manga and merch haul from today!!
#prince's talk tag#went to a street fair in the city and ate a bunch of expensive food but they tasted good so im not too mad#and then i hit up kino and bnn for books#bnn was doing their buy one get one 50 percent off so that made me get more than i was planning on getting#most of these are just the next volume(s) i needed to read#witch hat did have the first two volumes of cooking spin off but i wasnt sure how worth itd be#like my boys are the stars but last time i read a chill cooking manga i wasnt as into it and ended up dropping it#so im afraid of that happening here#the eclair series i was interested in bc its a bunch of yuri one shots and i only had bleue and blanche and didnt know there was more#so imagine my surprise when i saw two other colors and i think the first one before they started naming it after colors#i got scared for a second bc i thought i accidentally bought eclair twice but i was confusing it for bleue so there were no dupes#another thing i was surprised to find where the cds in the first pic#i have the osts of the og games but not their remakes so ofc i had to get them#i just need FES and Royal and im all set (i got reload's on mercari)#went back to the place i got the blind boxes and i was trying for Luka or Kaito and i got Wonderland Luka but Computer Len#im not mad i got Len bc he is my son but i do like how Luka's looks for it but theyre pricy so i didnt want to buy too many#now if i could wonderland!kaito and computer!luka id be happy#also did the gachapon machine and got a snow miku keychain which you can see on the book in pic 3#its really cute i like it a lot
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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying
#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#writing stuff#i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic#there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good#the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand#i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun#but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader#can’t decide which i like more#god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head#next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao#and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude#‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God#‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down#‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon#‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters#anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many#gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced#even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another
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Hi! How you doing? You seem to be one of the actives ones remaining on tumblr.
I can't sleep so I will get a bottle of water; get one for yourself too and take care please just a gentle remainder.
thank you for the kind words <3
i'm doing alright. seeing more people pay their respects to him on twitter made me cry all morning. even john green tweeted.
i'm feeling better overall. it's friday. the sun is shining. i get monday off from work. and i know it'll be ok even if it isn't right now.
#taking time off of twt tho#love the support ppl are showing it's just a lot of scroll through#ive been going through my techno posts on my blog and it's making me laugh#ive got a chill weekend ahead of me. gonna just like reflect and take it easy.#idk it hit me rly hard bc i guess. im his age range. he helped me get through quarantine. made me laugh so many times.#i had a shit 2020-2021 year and he made it better#and i remember last night i was taking a break from a rly stressful thing i have to complete to scroll through twt#and that's how i found out. it hit me so hard just the poor mental state i was in plus the news#but im doing a lot better now#i see ppl in the comments helping each other out in terms of processing grief#it makes me happy#so many ppl cared about him. he is loved by us. and we were loved by him.#what an honor.#take care of yourselves guys <3#technoblade#ty for the askkk :)#betzabiury
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