#I had to go back and rewind it 5 times or more right after watching this scene

[zosanbrainrot]

Sanji says pizza

make him say pizza in every arc now PLEASE

this must be the loudest I laughed while watching one piece i'm not even kidding

[makeyoumine69]

Call Me Babydoll 5

PAIRING: DBF!Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Patrick stays in your mind even after the disastrous Dorsia incident. Like a song you can't get out of your head, he continues to hum his sultry and sensual words and ways into your ears and heart. When he arrives unexpectedly with a surprise guest, he cannot deny that he is attracted to you. But is this even real?

CONTAINS: Angst, smut, masturbation (f), obsessive behavior, cursing and use of pet names, smoking, gaslighting & manipulation, humiliation & hyperfixation, Daddy kink, making out, marking, biting.

WORDS: 3.5k

A/N: Sorry to make you wait so long, I hope to get in shape soon and post more often!🥰

LINKS: [Ch.4]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [MASTERLIST]

Your mind was a complete mess, your heart nothing but glass dust. The echoes of your private conversation with Patrick on the outdoor terrace of Dorsia still lingered in your mind even after you returned home, though you couldn't remember how you made it since you had declined Bateman's offer to take you to your house.

The first thing you noticed when you crossed the threshold of your home was a strong, sweet scent of flowers. It was a familiar perfume that you already hated.

"Y/n? I thought you were already asleep in your room," and there she was - your father's girlfriend named Sophia, meeting you in the hall, smiling mischievously as she caught you doing something criminal. "Where have you been?"

Sophia was a middle-aged woman with Greek roots, she was really a nice person, always so kind and friendly to you, and most importantly - she never tried to replace your mother, for which you were very grateful. 

"I had dinner," you replied tiredly as you took off your coat. "Not a good one."

"Ouch…" She gave you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before continuing. "Don't be sad, honey. You're an incredible person and I'm sure that one day you'll meet the right person." Sophia cheered this, smiling as if her words were a prediction of the future. "With whom you will feel that everything is in the right place."

Sighing, you tried to master something close to a smile. "Thank you, Soph." As much as you wanted to share your worries with her, you couldn't because she could tell your father everything. "I'm so exhausted I could fall asleep right here."

"Go rest," she mused, watching you go upstairs. "Tomorrow your father and I are going to visit my family."

"Good luck with that." You replied before disappearing from her vision.

It was obvious that you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, thanks to the endless thoughts that looped in your head like a broken record.

Why did you ever think that a man like Bateman could really take you seriously? You felt deceived, embarrassed and madly frustrated, because at the end of the day, Patrick was just playing with you like a toy, twisting you perfectly around his finger. 

Fidgeting in your bed, you accidentally recalled the memories of the day he was here - you could still feel the remnants of his hypnotizing cologne as your sheets smelled of him. A lonely tear slid down your cheek, outlining the beautiful shape of your face - now so dull and dejected. 

If only you could rewind time and not allow him to get close to you, not even for an inch. Sobbing, you curled up like a kitten, pressed your knees to your chest and tried to drift off, but every time you closed your eyes - his gorgeous face popped up in your mind, making you believe that he really had blessed you with a curse. A curse to be obsessed with the man who would never be yours.

It had been a week since you had seen Bateman, and somehow you had even managed to live through your depression and hide it from your father, although it was quite difficult due to his numerous questions about your sad face and bad mood. At work, some of your co-workers were also trying to figure out what was wrong with you, so you finally decided to take a few days off to relax and get your life back on track.

In the morning of one of those days, you suddenly found yourself writhing on the sheets, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. With an irritated groan, you threw the blanket aside, accidentally touching your painfully hard nipples. 

Oh shit, not again.

Closing your eyes, you didn't even notice that you were dreaming about him for the third fucking time in a row. You let out a muffled gasp as your trembling hand snaked down your belly between your half-opened legs to the center of your desire.

It was just impossible to resist.

"Aww, Daddy," you moaned softly, imagining it was his hand caressing your taut folds. "Please...I need more..."

Embarrassed but absolutely horny, you spread your legs wider, letting your own digits slide along your dripping pussy, and kept picturing his beautiful face as he praised you for being such a good girl for him. 

A loud gasp echoed through your room at the memory of his velvety, deep voice, playing in your head as if Bateman was really here, next to you, his hand wrapped tightly around your trembling throat as he wanted nothing more than to bring you to your climax, to see you collapse right before his dark hazel eyes.

"Mmhm, Patrick..." you frowned and shivered, your ministrations growing more impatient as you rubbed circling motions into your throbbing clit while feeling the impending orgasm building in your core. "Patrick, Patrick, please!"

To muffle your obscene moans, you had to bite the pillow next to you as you reached your climax, never stopping to massage your feverish nub. 

'You are so naughty, Babydoll. Look at the mess you have made.'

The echo of his sexy voice resounded in your clouded mind, prolonging your intense orgasm and you couldn't help but cradle your breast, only to pinch your hard little tip as you craved more. 

But unfortunately, after the haze of ecstasy wore off and you were finally able to think clearly, the bitter realization that it was all an illusion washed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you completely broken. It felt as if you had put all your energy into getting that high, and now you could barely move, feeling satisfied yet devastated.

Over the next few hours, you showered several times and refused to leave your room, no matter how much your father and Sophia tried to convince you. Shame and despair were eating you alive from the inside out, draining all your positive emotions like parasites.

Whenever you tried to distract yourself by reading, you were annoyed by your mind tricks because every character's name starting with the letter P automatically became 'Patrick'. 

You hated that man for infesting your mind, body, and soul. Before meeting Bateman, you even thought you were frigid, but now...now you were ready to climb on the walls from the consuming desire to be...possessed? Owned? Marked? 

A loud knock at the door interrupted your train of thought and you barely stopped yourself from squeaking - all these days, since you started having nasty dreams with Patirck, you felt like you were doing something bad and someone from your household could catch you. Quickly you approached the door to your room and after unlocking it, you let your vision - which turned out to be your father - in. 

"I thought you were taking a nap," he chuckled, but then his face changed when he saw your tired eyes. "Are you sure you're not sick, (y/n)?"

"I'm not sick, Dad," you rolled your eyes and crossed your hands over your chest, ready to be lectured again. "Did something happen? I was in the middle of proofreading."

Your father hummed, tilting his head to the side. "You took a few days off to work at home?"

Scowling with annoyance, you leaned against the door and mumbled: "It helps me relax and clear my head."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that Patrick is here," you felt the ground disappear under your feet as he spoke. "He came to sign some papers and I thought you might like to join us in the living room. Soph made your favorite apple pie."

This information made your temples ache with tension, and you had to massage them to ease the stabbing pain. "Father, I... I'm not really in the mood for guests."

Especially when this guest was Patrick Bateman.

Your father just sighed and stepped back, which meant he wasn't going to try to convince you. Most of all, you hated to upset your family, even though you didn't want to see Bateman, not after the things that had happened to you during these long, crazy days.

"Okay, okay," you knew you would regret it, but now you didn't see any other option. "I'll be back soon."

With that, you closed the door, feeling the panic rising in your chest. It seemed that your father still thought that you were still on good terms with Patrick, since you had not told him anything about that damn dinner. Trying to pull yourself together, you quickly went to the mirror to freshen up a bit - the fact that you were worried about what Bateman would think of your appearance still bothered you, but there was nothing you could do about it.

Almost fifteen minutes later, you finally came downstairs, wearing a short black top and your favorite tight jeans, and no, you weren't trying to impress him - a little spice wouldn't hurt.

As you approached the living room, you began to hear a cacophony of different voices: your dad's, Sophia's, and another unfamiliar female voice that made you stop in confusion around the corner. Who was that?

"(Y/n), don't be shy, come here." Your father's comment made you frown and bite your lip in embarrassment as you felt like you were transferred back to your childhood.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the living room and immediately became the center of everyone's attention. Your eyes quickly found the owner of the unknown voice - a pretty blonde girl sitting next to Patrick with a small notebook in her elegant hands. 

Another blonde, huh? 

Putting on a friendly fake smile, you managed to hide your frustration and walked closer to the couch to take a seat next to your father, completely ignoring Bateman's intense gaze.

"Uh, this is Jean, Patrick's assistant," your father introduced the blonde girl to you, and she smiled shyly when you raised your eyes to her. "Jean, this is (y/n), my lovely daughter."

"Nice to meet you, (y/n)," Jean murmured and turned to look at Patrick, as if looking for his approval. When he said nothing, she continued. "Patrick has told me a lot about you."

"Really?" You replied skeptically, your hands already crossed over your chest as you desperately tried to keep your composure. "How nice."

Somehow your father managed to notice the growing tension between the two of you, and his little cough caught everyone's attention. "Sorry, my throat gets dry from time to time."

"No need to apologize, Mr. (y/l/n)," Bateman suddenly joined the conversation, causing you to almost jump in your seat. "How about your lovely daughter making us some drinks?" His white-toothed smile was blinding, but you did your best not to react to this provocation.

"Yeah, sure. I'll make them." You stood up quickly, seeing this as a great opportunity to escape.

"Let me help you!" Jean suddenly suggested.

"No no no, you don't have to!"

"Hey, let her help you," Patrick put forward and tapped Jean's knee several times, which you couldn't miss. "It's better not to refuse people's help, because we live in such a cruel world. You know what I mean, (y/n?)" 

His smug wink at you made your hands clench into fists, but you decided not to argue with him and just stumbled out of the living room, hearing Jean's soft footsteps behind you.

In the kitchen, the two of you didn't try to strike up a conversation, feeling uncomfortable but not hostile. With casual confidence, you took out two glasses and three cups under the attentive gaze of Patrick's assistant.

"Whiskey for the boys and coffee for the girls," you hummed to yourself, finally glancing at Jean, who was standing shyly in the doorway. "Maybe you want something else?"

"No," she gasped when you asked her. "Coffee is fine."

"Good."

As the blonde woman watched you make the coffee, she came closer and looked around the kitchen. "'Your house is very cozy."

"Thank you," you gave her a warm smile and picked up a silver tray for the cups. "My mother used to love an atmosphere like this," your sudden confession made you stop everything for a moment and Jean noticed your tension. "She would be very touched by your compliment."

The sad undertone in your words made the woman pause and think about what to say next, and you used the moment to get additional things for the coffee, including sugar, cream and vanilla. 

"I would only ask you to help me with this," you nodded at the nearly full tray. "And I'll take glasses and a bottle."

"Okay," Jean picked up some napkins before taking a deep breath. "Patrick was right when he said you were a lovely girl."

Frowning, you almost spilled the last cup of coffee when you heard those words. "Uh, I don't understand why you were talking about me at all."

"Well, we talked about you when I made the reservation for your dinner in Dorsia."

An awkward silence hung in the air for some time before you managed to pull yourself together and place all the cups on the shimmering tray. "Mmhm-yeah, that dinner was something, I have to admit," you let out a nervous chuckle, not wanting to remember the events of that evening. "Do you like him?"

"W-what?" Jean blushed almost instantly, her beautiful blue eyes averted from your curious gaze and she had to fix her stray lock of hair behind her ear. "He's my boss, and I like working with him."

"Is he a good boss?"

"Yes, he is."

Satisfied with her answer, you crossed your arms and grinned. "Glad to hear it, I mean seriously," you watched her bat her long eyelashes as you moved the tray over to her. "I think you two look great together."

Exhaling, Jean took the tray and giggled sheepishly. "What makes you think that anyway?"

"I just noticed the way he looks at you," you replied frankly, picking up the glasses. "Thanks for the help. Now I have to get a drink for the boys."

With that, you cast your most sincere smile before retreating from the kitchen, and once you were out in the hall, your face became blank and dull. The things you just said - were they just some kind of masochism? You kept asking yourself as you walked to your father's office, where he kept his favorite drinks that he only served to special guests.

Carefully, with cat-like grace, you touched a doorknob when you noticed that the door was half open. Concerned, you quickly turned around and when you saw no one, you quickly opened it and stepped inside, only to freeze in shock and it was a fucking miracle that you didn't let the glasses fall down on the floor.

Bateman was standing with his back to you, so at first you hoped he wouldn't notice, but as soon as you turned on your heels, the man spun around and the sight of you made him smile mischievously and absolutely charmingly.

"Wrong door?" Patrick chuckled and shifted his position so that you could now see him holding a bottle and a lit cigar in the other hand.

"You can't smoke in my house," you said in an irritated voice. "I'm serious."

"Oh, stop it," his mocking chuckle echoed in your ears, annoying you more and more. "Your father gave me permission. Besides, he told me he had a bottle of J&B, so I decided to take it myself, since you two were very slow."

Having said that, the man puffed on his cigar and blew several rings of smoke, causing you to cover your mouth as you started to cough. The sheer arrogance he radiated was poisonous and somehow suffocating, it was like a tight rope around your neck, no snuff could affect you like that.

"Why did you send Jean with me?"

"And why didn't you answer my calls?" Bateman interjected sternly, closing the distance between the two of you.

The sudden question made you lose your balance for a second. "Calls? What calls? I... I don't even understand what you're talking about."

With a cheeky grin, Patrick took a drag on his cigar and blew right into your face. "Hmmm, let me remember," he leaned against the door and cocked his head to the side. "The one right after dinner, and the one the next day, and the one two days after that."

It was strange, because all these days no one had ever told you about Patrick's calls, and you thought that if he had really made them, your father would definitely have told you, since he wanted you two to get along so much.

"All right, let's pretend that you really did call me, but I can't understand why?"

"You seemed very upset after dinner," the man strove to parry your provocative question, though his eyes glowed with the thrill of the challenge you were giving him. "I just wanted to check on you, since your old man is worried about you too much, and... I didn't need any trouble to close the deal."

Another disappointment.

"Business above all, huh?" No matter how hard you tried to hide the pain, your voice still sounded somber. 

"Shhh," his sudden touch on your lower lip caused something heavy to fall in your stomach. "Don't be like that, Babydoll. I'm just doing my job."

"Even now?" You taunted him blatantly, though your panting could be clearly heard in the room.

The sexual tension between the two of you was palpable in the air, but you both remained still, even when Bateman approached your neck to inhale your sweet scent, mixing it with the sharp smell of snuff.

What the hell were you doing? 

When Bateman pulled away to place the bottle on the nearby bookshelf, he grabbed the glasses you were holding so desperately that your fingers began to curl. Then the man squeezed the cigar between his white teeth and, with practiced ease, picked you up and carried you to your father's desk. As he set you down on the wooden tabletop, he didn't let you protest, pressing his large palm over your mouth.

"Now, now, little girl," he cooed, exhaling smoke before pulling you a little closer. "C'mere, I'm going to show you something."

Carefully but determinedly, Patrick grabbed your chin and drew you closer so that your mouths were barely an inch apart. Pressing his thumb along your lips, the man forced you to part them, and in the next moment, he blew some smoke into your mouth before sealing it with his own. Intoxicated by both the smoke and Patrick's sudden intrusion, your hands clutched desperately at his broad shoulders, cramping the expensive fabric of his pinstriped suit. After all these days of desperate need for his touch, this kiss was like a sip of water in the desert; it was vital and overwhelming. With every breath you took, Bateman's movements became bolder, less tentative and more demanding; his warm hand slipped under your short top to caress your shoulder blades with feathery strokes that almost drove you to moan against his lips, but you struggled to stop yourself.

"Patrick," you gasped after breaking the kiss. "What the hell are we doing?

"You tell me, Babydoll." 

"No, because it was you who told me you didn't want to be a babysitter. Did you forget?" 

When you tried to slide off the desk, he wouldn't let you, pressing you closer to his strong body and finally putting his cigar in the ashtray not far from where he was holding you. "I always remember my own words…" With that, he placed both his hands on either side of your knees before moving them slowly up along your hips and God, Bateman was doing it so damn slow on purpose, forcing you to jolt from the strange tension in your lower belly - the feeling that had become your personal drug. "Oh, don't pretend you don't like it. Your body speaks for itself."

You tried to pull away from him as you couldn't stand the way his hazel eyes were stripping you down, but the more you struggled, the more Patrick grew impatient, so he just yanked roughly by your hair, forcing you to tilt your head back and expose your delicate neck, which Patrick didn't miss the chance to mark, biting your tender flesh and then sucking the mark with a muffled groan.

There was something feral about him and that 'something' was making your body respond to his every touch, every little contact.

Nuzzling your cheek, Bateman lowered one of his hands to your bare stomach, drawing invisible lines along it before suddenly cupping your throbbing pussy through the tight material of your jeans, making you squeal and shake on the desk.

Just as Patrick was about to kiss you again, you both noticed a commotion coming from behind the door and then realized it was your father, you both didn't even have a chance to move as the door was quickly opened, revealing a very compromising picture.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[stardust-walker]

For Cryin Out Loud

Eddie is having a bad day so Steve comes home and takes care of him. They take a bath together and end up fooling around because they're 2 idiots in love. Part of my little Hard of Hearing/Deaf Steve little one-shot I wrote that is apparently growing a mind of it's own and turning into a little series of one shots!

There may be minor typos but I haven't posted this on AO3 yet but it's been sitting in my word docs for a solid month so enjoy!

rated: E

cw: smut!! my first time really writing anything bc these boys changed my whole brain chemistry i swear 2 u

border by cafekitsune!

Steve has a feeling that it hasn’t been a good day when he walks in and he doesn’t see Eddie, but he can hear the music playing from the bathroom. The music gets louder as Steve walks through the door and calls out a greeting, almost like Eddie is cranking the music for him too. Steve can recite the opening lines to You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth from memory at this point and he thinks Eddie must be doing the same thing in the bathtub upstairs. 

Eddie had bitched up a storm at first but Steve reminded him more than enough times that it was a gift and he couldn’t be an asshole about it. He tries to listen a little closer as he mills around the kitchen cutting up fruit and gathering snacks to bring up with him. The song comes to a close as he starts back towards the hallway with his hands full of a peace offering. And yep there it is. The mixtape starts over after a few minutes of silence in which Eddie must have been rewinding the tape. He wonders how long Eddie’s been up there. Probably since Robin left for work a little over an hour ago if he had to venture a guess. Steve moves a little faster as he hums along to For Cryin Out Loud. 

~

“You know, Meat Loaf really knew what he was talking about with this one,” Eddie had said one of the first times they listened to it together. The song had hit the 5-minute mark and Eddie was bobbing his head to the music. Steve just watched him, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, totally,” Eddie’s smile was infectious and Steve felt like he was going to orbit another planet. He practically melted when Eddie leaned in to kiss him just as Meat Loaf continued to sing about how of course he loved whoever he was singing to. It was like Eddie himself was screaming it from the rooftops. So when Steve decided to make Eddie a mixtape, it was no surprise that was the first song he put on there.

~

Gareth had caught Eddie listening to the mixtape once. More like he’d gotten into the car with him and stared in horror at the radio before declaring that Eddie was some sort of saint for listening to Guns n’ Roses. At least according to Eddie, but Steve had just smiled and pointed out that he’d caught him strumming the opening notes to Patience more than a few times. 

Steve couldn’t help but think the song was a little close to home for him. He climbed the last few stairs and he could hear Eddie singing the chorus quietly to himself. When Eddie started whistling along, Steve let out a laugh.

“Steve?” The water splashes slightly. Eddie must have sat up in the bath.

“Yeah,” he calls out before he enters the bathroom and leans against the doorway. Eddie reaches out to turn down the stereo with wrinkled fingers and Steve couldn’t stop the fond smile from creeping onto his face. 

 Eddie eyes the plate of fruit with hungry eyes before his gaze shifts back to Steve. “Is that for me?”

“I was thinking we could share actually unless you’re feeling greedy.” He crosses the room and sets the plate down on the closed toilet lid. Steve wrinkles his nose in concentration as he slowly kneels down next to the tub. In the background, Tom Petty is starting to sing about some girl who loves Elvis. “Hey,” he whispers as he brushes the hair out of Eddie’s eyes. They’re a little swollen and Steve frowns. “Bad day?” 

Eddie shrugs and lets out a shaky breath. “Kind of.” He runs a hand over the surface of the water as he looks away. Steve doesn’t push it. He could easily say that the incident during spring break was 3 years ago. Vecna’s been dead for 2. But he gets it; none of them will probably really be over it. A lot of them bear the scars and the damage from it still, Eddie included. Steve notices how some days it’s harder than others for Eddie to get out of bed in the morning. Instead of saying anything, he leans in and brushes his lips over Eddie’s cheek. Eddie sighs and when Steve pulls back, the other man’s eyes have fluttered shut.

“Do you want me to get in?”

“Yeah,” Eddie’s voice cracks. He opens his eyes and they stare at each other for a second. Eddie’s big brown eyes make him look even more open and vulnerable as he scoots back against the wall. “Sit in front of me though. I want us to look at each other.” 

Steve nods because who is he to not give Eddie what he wants? Eddie drums on the side of the tub as Steve rises to his feet and starts to shed his clothes. He can see Eddie in the mirror as he rests his cheek on his arm to get more comfortable looking at him. His heart swells. Eddie is mouthing the words to the next song as it starts and Steve thinks about how Eddie bitched when Steve begged him to buy the newest album from The Cure. Steve had tried not to cry the first time he heard Lovesong. Seeing Eddie mouthing the words at him makes him feel totally different. But still, he tries to control himself because Eddie is having a bad day. As much as they both might want it, he’s pretty sure that fucking in the bath isn’t going to work out anyway.

Steve takes his hearing aid out and takes a moment to adjust to the slightly more muffled sounds around him. Steve’s half-hard just from the weight of Eddie’s staring at him. He pulls his underwear off and places them with the rest of his clothes before he turns to face the tub. 

Eddie’s face lights up in a way that makes Steve laugh. “Hey, gorgeous.” He leans back and wrinkles his nose as he moves his leg to make room. Steve lowers himself into the tub which is pretty warm still. Eddie probably filled it up again while he was downstairs.

“I bet you say that to all the boys,” he winks. Eddie laughs. Steve is so fucking in love with him that it hurts. “Did you actually wash your hair or were you just half underwater?”

“Hm,” Eddie hums as he slides lower into the water. “I plead the fifth.” He sighs as the water reaches the middle of his chest. 

“You’re so gross,” he rolls his eyes and dodges the small splash of water sent his way. “I was going to offer to wash it for you but now I don’t want to.”

Eddie pouts. “Only if you want to.” The unspoken fear of being a burden is still there and Steve gets it. He really does. So he motions for Eddie to sit up and move closer before he reaches behind him for the shampoo. Eddie winces as he bends his knee a little too fast. “You’re too good to me.” 

Steve is faintly aware of the fact that Dio starts playing and it’s one of Eddie’s favorites. Naturally.

“No, I’m not. Now shut up and close your eyes.”

“Yes, sir,” Eddie smirks as he closes his eyes and tilts his head back slightly, baring his neck to Steve. He ghosts his fingers over the scar on his neck. They match and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be over it. Eddie shivers slightly as he leans in and presses a kiss right to the center of his throat before he starts on washing his hair. It’s hard to gauge how gentle is the right amount when it’s not your hair but he tries his best. Skillful fingers comb the knots from Eddie’s hair as he relaxes, eyes only squeezing shut tighter when it’s time to rinse the suds out. 

Steve cups the other man’s scarred cheek in his hand when he’s done and Eddie’s eyes flutter open. “There he is,” he whispers.

Eddie smiles as he leans in, his hands settling on his boyfriend’s biceps and there’s something heavier about his gaze now. “You’re really something else, you know.” 

Part of Steve feels bad for the fact that he kind of likes the days that are like this. It’s a bad day but he can still bring Eddie back from it. They can take their time and take care of each other in whatever way they need to. Sometimes it’s just cuddling and talking about it. Sometimes Eddie doesn’t want to talk at all or Steve can’t bring himself to put in his hearing aids and connect with the world. They just deal with whatever they need.

Eddie licks his lips. Steve watches as the water drips down from his bangs and slides down the side of his face before it stops right on his cupid’s bow. He’s pretty sure it’s shit like this that Warrant is singing about in Heaven because Jesus fuck it’s insane.

Steve ducks in, nose bumping against Eddie’s as he does, and when he kisses him, their teeth click. Eddie’s smiling and it’s like a switch flips in his head. Eddie sighs against Steve’s lips as his wet hands slide up his arms to grip his shoulders. He knows they shouldn’t do anything, at least not here. He just can’t bring himself to do anything to stop it when Eddie slides forward almost into his lap. Steve groans as Eddie nibbles at his bottom lip. His hips buck up slightly and Eddie yelps as Steve slides backward an inch. 

They pull apart and Steve stares at Eddie: his pupils are blown wide and his freshly washed hair starting to curl already and he can’t take it anymore. “Let’s go to bed” Eddie leans in and whispers. Christine McVie is singing through the speakers about how she’d be with someone anywhere and everywhere. He fucking gets it and he’ll scream it from the rooftops one day.

He’s gentle when he helps Eddie out of the tub and towel dries his hair. Their hands wander and the only other sound in the room aside from the music is Eddie’s quiet singing and the occasional gasp or laugh. They leave the music blaring as they hurry down the hall. When Eddie lays on the bed and motions for him to follow, Steve thinks that one day he’ll kiss every fucking scar that the Upside Down left on him if he hasn’t already. 

He doesn’t need to be told twice and they’re both laughing as Steve kisses his way up Eddie’s left side. He takes special care to kiss as much of his scarred-up chest as he can. Eddie sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Steve,” he whispers in a way that makes all the pistons in his brain fire. “Stevie, come on.” 

Right now is about Eddie, so he starts moving again. Licking and kissing and biting his way up his lover’s neck and he’s already starting to fall apart just a little. Steve curses himself for not putting his hearing aid back in. Now he’s missing out on every little sound Eddie makes even though he has them committed to memory by now. Steve plants a hand on the bed on either side of the man as he pulls away. Eddie’s hair is splayed out on the pillow like a halo and Steve swallows hard as he tries to burn the sight into his brain. There’s a part of him that wants to see it every time he closes his eyes because there can’t be anything better than that.

“What do you want,” he whispers as he eyes the man beneath him with hungry eyes. 

“You.” Eddie grins up at him. Steve grins right back as he presses himself down onto him. Eddie groans and Steve crashes their lips together and swallows the sound right up. Eddie slips his tongue into his mouth. Steve trembles a little as a hand slides down his back, fingers tracing down his spine in a feather-light touch. The fingers on Eddie’s other hand wind into his hair and Steve lets out a groan that mirrors Eddie’s own. It’s like a feedback loop.

They’re barely touching each other. Just grinding against each other and only breaking away to breathe until Steve sits up enough to feel around on the bedside table until he snatches up the lube. Eddie’s dick twitches in interest and yeah. He’ll give him whatever the fuck he wants whenever he asks. Within reason. So sue him. The way that Eddie’s big brown eyes stay focused on him as he flips the cap and pours lube onto his fingers is enough to make him crazy.

“This okay?”

His bangs flop in front of his eyes with how fast he nods his head. He parts his legs almost like it’s an instinct by now as Steve moves to kneel between his knees. Steve watches just as closely and he feels his breath catch when Eddie starts to melt under his touch. It’s just one finger circling his rim at first and Eddie pulls his legs in tighter as he sighs. By the time Steve has two fingers inside of him, Eddie is panting quietly. Steve curls his fingers and he hits that spot that he knows has Eddie seeing fireworks. He can’t stop himself from kissing his way up his chest again, fingers still moving inside of him.

When he’s close enough, Eddie grips him by the hair and tugs him up gently. He crashes their lips together with an intensity that leaves Steve gasping. Eddie’s all over him. All-encompassing as their mouths move together and they breathe each other in. Eddie’s thighs are trembling as they wrap around Steve’s waist. Steve pulls his fingers out of him slowly.

 Then there’s so little space between them that neither of them can reach down and wrap a hand around both of them to jerk off. That might be what Eddie wants, but Steve thinks it’s close enough as he breaks the kiss only to latch onto the soft skin of his neck. Eddie’s voice is muffled and Steve lets out a confused sound as he gets shoved back by a palm to the forehead. “Wrong side,” Eddie sighs before he guides Steve to the other side of his neck and Jesus Christ he likes this angle a lot better. It’s like Eddie realizes what he needs. The hand that guided him moves to the back of his hair and the other cradles the side of his face like he’s something precious. 

Steve’s hips jerk and Eddie hisses almost right in his ear. “Fuck yeah just like that. Come on.” The gasps and whispers guide him better than anything else as they grind against each other. They’re so close that he can feel the muscles in Eddie’s stomach start to tense up. He can hear his breathing pick up and the soft moans that start to spill out even when he’s trying to hold them back. Eddie’s close and so is he. It’s almost painful when he manages to sit up to slip a hand between them and it only takes two hard jerks for Eddie to finally break. 

He takes in everything. He always does. The way Eddie throws his head back against the pillows and his eyes roll back just a little bit before he squeezes them closed. The way he blushes red right down to the scars on his chest. It’s the way that Eddie groans out his name that sends Steve right over the edge with him. He slumps forward, trembles, and curses through his own orgasm as he buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder. “Fuck,” he pants out as he wipes his hand on the sheets. They have to do laundry anyway.

His arms feel a little like jello as he pushes himself up off of his boyfriend. Eddie smiles up fondly at him as Steve leans in to kiss him. He stops halfway there as Eddie lets out a short laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Eddie shrugs as he reaches up and brushes a stray piece of hair from Steve’s forehead. “Hi.”

The gentleness of it throws him off and he sputters. “Hi?”

Eddie laughs as he pulls him down again. “You know, I think I’m having a better day now.”

Steve rolls his eyes as he twirls a strand of Eddie’s hair between his fingers. “Oh, you don’t say?”

“Yeah, well you know. When the prettiest guy in Hawkins tries to woo you, it’s kind of hard to stay suffering.”

“Oh poor baby.”

“I think pizza would really secure the wooing,” Eddie sighs dramatically as he turns his head to pout at his boyfriend.

“You’re a pain in the ass.” Steve snorts as he pulls himself into a sitting position. 

Eddie gasps and mockingly grabs his chest. “But you love me!”

“For cryin out loud?” Steve quirks an eyebrow before he leans over to kiss Eddie on the forehead.

“And all that other shit the guy sings about.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Takes one to know one, Stevie!” 

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-it Friday

It is just past midnight where I reside, so that means its officially Friday. Normally I don't post till the sun is shining, but I am traveling today and visiting with family, so I won't have access to computer time till much much later.

Tagged by the always lovely @panbuckley, who posted a very steamy snippet. So I am going to continue this trend myself, or try to at least. Here is some very vague smut from NFL Buck.

Eddie is on the precipice of tipping over into orgasmic bliss, but a tight grip at the base of his cock, snaps him back. He cries out, "Buck please." Behind him with his own cock deep in Eddie's ass and lounging back on the dark blue sofa, Buck chuckles. Eddie feels the vibration of his delight more than he can hear it. "You didn't answer me." The younger man states. The hand not withholding Eddie's pleasure, hits the rewind button on a small black remote. The projected film in front of them reverses, pulling the figures of the players of the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings back to their pre-snap formations. "Two high safeties, 5 man rush, what should I call?" Buck repeats his earlier question with a swivel of his hips, grinding up against's Eddie's prostate. A whimper is pulled from him and Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, relishing the stimulating euphoria mixed with the pain of being held at the edge. The warm plastic of the remote is dropped on his thigh and Eddie can't hold down a moan of appreciation as Buck grips his hair, yanking his head back. "I told you to keep your eyes open. Don't want to miss anything, now do we?" He growls in his ear, nipping at the cartilage. Fuck. Having his eyes on the footage of the Chicago Bears was the whole reason Eddie joined Buck in the first place. He liked to help his boyfriend with his studies, give advice, and his own opinion on what the defense is doing and how Evan should respond. The reward for doing so, usually came after pages of a notebook had been filled and several hours of film had been watched. But the first game of the Ram's season with their new shiny quarterback was just days away and Buck was a ball of nervous energy. Working out did little to take the edge off. Video games with Christopher (and losing horribly) just added to the problem. Not even a pep talk from his personal trainer Owen Strand could help. So Buck turned to film hoping that being over prepared would ease his mind just a little. Eddie ventured into the screening room wanting to give him some relief and Evan immediately showed him how he could. A sloppy blowjob lead to Eddie's first orgasm. A seat in Buck's lap, his chest pressed tight against Eddie's back, and stretched tight around Buck's cock, has Eddie on the edge of another. He just needed to focus. Give Buck a play to beat the scheme. He needed to open his eyes and see past his pleasure. Just for a moment and then Eddie can finally fall into the inferno, with Buck just behind him. The sharp trill of Eddie's phone breaks his focus and has his eyes opening for all the wrong reasons.

Never really written man on man smut before, so I hope I'm doing something sort of right? Idk. I just wanted to put the fuck in fuck-it friday lol. But this is a scene I've had in my notes for awhile for this fic. Hope you all enjoyed!

If you want to see more NFL Buck just search under the tag nfl on my page.

Tagging (no pressure): @prince-buck-diaz @thekristen999 @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @bekkachaos @911onabc @911-on-abc @alyxmastershipper @brokenribsdiaz @cowboydiazes @cowboy-buddie @lizzybizzyzzz @glorious-spoon @oliverstaark @cowboy-buck @starlingbite @housewifebuck @devirnis @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @forthewolves @transbuck @wikiangela @rogerzsteven @bigfootsmom @try-set-me-on-fire @homerforsure @sibylsleaves @shortsighted-owl @spaceprincessem @heartbeatdiaz @barbiediaz @princessfbi

[elviola]

When the clock rewinds, would you choose me?

(ii) THE CONFRONTATION

Jake Sully x Reader

Set after the Avatar (2009) film.

PLOT: Formerly Intern from RDA, now a specialist in the reopened avatar program of Dr. Grace Augustine, you see the man–turned na'vi, that was once almost yours.

NOTE: not proofread!!! idk if i should write more lol i want this to be the end hwhwhwa

PRESENT:

ONE

THE BREEZE IS COLD. Rubbing your palms together, you try to squint to see the flock of Tetrapteron flying above. After reconciling with Norm, you tried your Avatar out. It felt like the past when you went in the pod, memories flooding through your head. Now you were walking through the greenery, stopping at a river nearby. You watch the Dinicthoid battle amongst each other, fighting for food to feast on.

Suddenly, you hear a branch crack behind, "Norm? I'm here, is Max finding us?" You croak out, yet no response makes you uneasy. A prey in its vulnerable state is an easy target for a predator. You clutch your dagger, getting ready to defend yourself when a giggle comes out from the other side. "Norm? Aysupe fula?" (Norm, what is that?)

It's a kid's voice, ears peeking through the bush. You knew the Na'vi language so it was easy for you to reply as if it were English. "I am sorry, I mistook you for someone. I am no harm." And so he shows himself, a short Na'vi boy. His braids were pulled into a ponytail and he had a handmade small wooden bow in his right hand. You notice then that he had 5 fingers when they had only four. "You're watching them too? They're funny sometimes, my older brother caught one before." You nod in awe, he's different. Eyebrows adorning his features, you ask his name, "It's Lo'ak, I shouldn't be saying it. I'll get scolded by my father—" You step forward, "What's his name?" He walks backward, spooked by the sudden change in demeanor.

"Jake Sully."

You can't process the information after Lo'ak runs off explaining he'll get in trouble. On your way back, you still in the middle of the forest, that old feeling creeping up your veins once again. Jake has a family, Jake has sons,

Jake has someone. Jake has Neytiri.

It explodes inside you like a bomb, the remnants spreading like a disease, and it's sought out to break your heart once again. You haven't moved on, not entirely when you heard his name and you want to go back to Earth and suffer the fate jealousy had brought you. You don't know what you're bitter about. That Jake has a family or that Jake has a family and it isn't with you.

You swore not to take that path for the next few days.

But Eywa is the one who chooses fate, so you meet him once again.

TWO

"______, get me the floral eucalyptus. Two of it, will you?" You grunt in annoyance. Laying at your stomach, you want to sleep the whole day instead. "If you don't get your ass up, I'll hide her." Your ass was, indeed, going to places. Swiftly linking with your Avatar, you go out to complete the task. Desperate to go back to bed.

As you head back to the lab, your elbow gets snatched by a hand. Max's basket dropped and things spilled. Grip as tight as a lock, you swish your dagger up its throat. Angry that your ears flatten on your head, everything you worked hard for was all on the ground. Dirtied and mixed.

"Who are you to—" His smile still makes your stomach jump backflips.

"______, where'd you leave off to?" His voice makes your knees weak.

His fingers tucking your braid behind your ear, you were sure you could count how much your heartbeat.

THE NOT SO CRISIS:

You're both walking to the village, the first time in 5 years to ever see it again. The tension is thick, not even the sharpest blade could cut through it, and you hope to strike up a conversation until your chances to were blocked.

"Ma' Jake. Have you seen Lo'ak? That boy will be the death of me, he does not stop wandering." Neytiri asks as she walks towards him. Jake clears his throat and gestures to you, " 'Tiri, this is an old friend, ____." You place a handout and she shakes it.

Disgusted, you're thinking of chopping it off.

Hours go by and nothing sounds sweeter than accidentally tripping over a rock and bumping your head. Jake is telling his stories to you as his kids play around the campfire. Neytiri sitting with their only daughter, placing feathers as she braids her hair. "Neteyam is my oldest, the next Olo'eyktan, the mighty warrior!" Jake shouts as he pulls the boy into a crushing hug, him smiling through the pressure. "Don't push yourself too much, Neteyam." You say as he nods enthusiastically in response.

"Lo'ak is stubborn but is strong-hearted." The 2nd boy scratched his neck in embarrassment. "Stubbornness comes use in many ways." You try to lighten the mood up and he smiles at you. You take notice he got his charm from his father.

You reason you can't spend the night with them, heart struggling to keep its pieces from scattering. That the tape holding them isn't enough, that going back on Earth for 5 years isn't enough.

It isn't enough to forget him. But you try to.

THE RESOLUTION:

"______, please!! I'll show you my rock collection! I use them to get the fruits off the tall trees!" Your heart strengthens, the face of Lo'ak lighting up when you fall for his rambling. Neteyam rolls his eyes in disagreement, and Jake watches afar. His eyes watch your form disappear from the bushes as you follow Lo'ak. He remembers your times before and an unrecognizable feeling paints his skin. He still doesn't know why you left, he'll ask you later. Do you still like yogurt? Do you still make awful jokes? Do you have a lover? Do you have a family?

“Jake? Jake!” He snaps out of it. "Neytiri, I'm sorry." He apologizes with his hands holding hers, kissing the top of her knuckles, she blushes. "I have prepared the hammock for ____, call her for I can tell the boy to not tire her so much!"

Jake follows the footsteps, slowly hearing the laughter coming from the riverside. He sees Lo'ak first, crouching to the creatures swimming. Then he sees you, trying to stop Lo'ak from throwing the fish out the water. "Lo'ak, go to your mother. She needs your help." The boy looks to his father with doubt, that he knows the first one they call is Neteyam. When Jake nods him off, he leaves.

Jake slowly approaches you, the crumble of rocks alerting you. The sun is starting to set and the birds are leaving to rest. You glance behind, stunned that he was near your face. That you almost kissed his nose, you walk backward. Yet Jake thinks otherwise, pulling you in even closer, "Why did you leave, ____?" He rants. "When I needed my friend at my lowest, where did she go?"

THE PROBLEM:

You expected a greeting from him but instead you nearly lose it from the sudden outburst. Head drumming with smoke, your ears flatten at your head, "You have no right to shout at me." You step away, trying to calm the situation. Jake moves to your face, "You had no right to leave. I was at war with you by my side and I see you suddenly gone? You saw me through thick and thin!"

"Oh. So when I tried to talk to you and you gave me no response. That was companionship, that was friendship? You treated me as if we don't spend our time together attached by the hip!" You argue, pushing his shoulders out of frustration. His eyes widen with angst and yours threaten to drip small tears. Jake dares to ask, "What do you mean? I was about to show you my achievement, that I learned the ways of the forest because of you. All of this is because of you!" You point back with an accusing finger at his chest,

"Then why are you with her?" A pregnant pause envelops the air. The cold breeze comes back and freezes your hands. "You left first. "

"And when you were in the process of doing it, I was always by your side."

Jake's gaze stretched out behind, thinking of what you said. His ringing ears makes it worse to rack his head to say something, to say anything to not let you go right now. To tell you everything he feels. He finds nothing when he swallows the words down.

Its become his habit, when he doesn't say anything when you pour out your everything. So you leave with disappointment carved on your face.

You leave him once again.

He messed up. He was supposed to know why you left 5 years ago, that when the war finished. He was yearning to find you to meet Neytiri. To meet, formally, the Omatikaya people. So when Norm said you left, his heart felt too heavy to not fall.

Jake focused on his new life, his new relationships. With Neytiri, with the forest, and with Eywa giving him the opportunity. He became Olo'eyktan, he became the hero everybody looked up to. He was watched by everyone, that every single moved he made was judged by the stares of the elders. By the stares of the People that believed in him. He thought of his duties that had to be done, the heavy weight he was carrying for their clan.

All of that didn't remove his thoughts of you. He still thought of you every single day and night.

He was a coward to his feelings for you.

He looks down to see the woven leaf craft of a Dinicthoid you and Lo'ak made. Picking it up as he walks back to the hut. Not realizing it had been hours when Neytiri appeared, the dark sky settled in and the stars twinkled in the sky. "Jake, where is ____? Had she went to sleep? I did not see her pass by." He looks softly at Neytiri, the woman he mated with. The woman he swore his life with. He doesn't want to hurt her. He doesn't want to hurt the both of you.

So he lies.

THE RESOLUTION LOSS:

He tried to understand, glue the pieces together on why you left. He concluded with only confusion setting in his mind. Today's meeting gave him an unexpected answer,

You liked him? Did you love him?

The lingering stares, the gentle touches. Did you really reciprocate his feelings?

Did you see him before?

Jake's heart shatters, guilty that he didn't wait for you. As how you waited for him.

You push the pod open, panting out of exhaustion. Norm rushes into the room, checking your vitals. "Didn't know you were coming back when you met Jake. When will you see him again?" You stand up, heading straight to the shower.

"I'll never see him again."

Weeks turn into months of not being able to see you. Jake grows stressed, he tries to capture your shadows whenever you run off but when he arrives. All that's left are your footprints.

You've studied the paths he takes. Mastering the skill of a fox, you take an alternative route one day. Not wanting to put up with him anymore.

One day, after collecting knick knacks and flowers for your bracelet, you walk back to the lab, spotting the river where two Na'vi forms sit. You go near, knowing who they might be, you should have sprinted off. Your body says otherwise, locked on the ground. Your leg numbing from the pressure of squating down, you listen, "____ has not been around for days, what had happened?" She asks, "I want to tell her all sorts of things. I want to tell her everything I feel." He replies, sighing. "It had been long since I've seen her. She was–" Your leg quitting the ability to squat, you miss the word he was about to say, standing by the tree instead. Neytiri laughs, "You have a strong heart, Jake. Courageous and Brave. Nothing will go wrong if you do." He grins, Neytiri's head resting on his shoulder. "You've done it before."

You walk away.

THE CLIMAX:

Jake sees you picking fruits from trees. Taking the chance to talk to you, he calls out your name.

You run off. He panics and goes after you.

You try to get rid of him, swerving from left to right, and hiding behind the tall flowers sprouting from its shrubs. You pull your tail in, anxious to get caught from it. It's early in the morning, he probably studied you too. It's silent for a moment and all you can hear are the chirping of the birds.

Tranquility ends with you getting pinned to the bark of the tree, you hiss at the perpetrator. "____! Stop! It's me." Jake's face full of worry, "Get off of me." You demand, pulling him off you. Jake weakens his hold but was still strong enough to not let you go. "Listen to me, please. For once?" Your eyebrows furrow at his words, for the first time in years, you would never imagine he would say those words. You believe him for now as he steps away from you.

"I want to apologize. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. That I shouted at you, that I didn't tell you the truth. That I was the one who left first and I was too blind to notice it."

"I see you, ____. I haven't before but I do now."

That was the last straw of your patience, "You cannot do this to me. Jake, you have a family. You do not see me, but you see what could have been for us!" You express the hurt in your heart. His face going through his emotions all at once.

"You are unfair and cruel." Shaking your head down, the river beneath your eyes break out. "I don't deserve this, Jake.

I shouldn't have met you before." And If you knew heartbreak would come with him, then you wouldn't have thought to sit beside him at your very first meeting. Shouldn't have waited for him during lunch breaks, and shouldn't have let him in that deep in your skin.

Jake is as fragile as you are, the second he hears you speak the hurt in your heart. He breaks. All his training and hardships he did as Olo'eyktan weren't enough to keep him steady right now. He feels like a boat that lost it's anchor to an angry storm. Jake bonding with Neytiri and forming a family with her wasn't enough.

At the end he still wanted you.

THE END:

Wise men say that the things you want the most are the things you cannot have.

Jake cannot have you.

So you anguish at the fairytale story of the both of you and you know it can never happen. You'll stop wishing for it,

And you'll stop loving him. Completely.

[knightyoomyoui]

TWICE x M Reader - “Cry For Me”: PART 2

Surpriseee! Yeah, I know. I thought this would take a longer time to be published because I was about to move this to the Set 6 line up but it all ends up being... NOPE! Well, fortunately as I said in my announcement; despite of my phone got broken I was able to save my whole plot outline for the CFM series Part 1-7 on the MS word of my laptop. I honestly forgot that I actually made it in my laptop and thought I did it instead on the phone that's why I got saddened a lot when I realized it at first. So yeah, thanks to what I did I was able to atleast continue follow to the Set 5 lineup and work on this next. Another good news too, MY PHONE IS HAS FINALLY BEEN REPAIRED! I'm still saving up to buy a new one tho but hey, atleast my OG device where I usually write is back. I mostly my laptop rather on editing my work. So now that my phone is back... that means ALL OF MY SAVED PLOT OUTLINES FOR MY FUTURE ENTRIES ARE BACK. Now I can finally write for my next works and chapters for my TWICE ships and 1% Of Chances books respectively. Anyways, have fun reading! To be honest, I feel like this one increases the buildup for the next parts, especially the ending. A bit dark but I know I can somehow come up with darker ideas. Just wait and see. PREVIOUSLY ON "CRY FOR ME" PART 1...

"I felt betrayed so much...", Tzuyu finally speaks, Nayeon just attentively listened to what she has to say. She started wiping the tears from her face with her own handkerchief. "I thought seeing him sometimes with his acts that makes me suspicious of him was just me overthinking because, like he said, I am the only woman he loves but I never even knew that he really does hiding a dark secret from me," she sighed heavily as she felt her heart ache with every skips between on its beat her senses numbing at how her body feels lifeless at the immense despair she's experiencing. "YN is an asshole, Tzuyu; I'm warning you right now to stay away from him," Nayeon cautioned. "And as you said, we might not know... maybe he has other girls out there that he's keeping with him at the same time as you," she said, referring to the part where she acquired that Tzuyu had already noticed some strange and suspicious behaviors from you that made it appear as if you were hiding something from her.

"To be sure, starting today, I suggest we keep a watch on him at all times," Nayeon says before helping Tzuyu rise up by offering her free hand to the heartbroken lady. Nayeon swayed several strands of hair that blocks off her face to make Tzuyu seem presentable and prepared to greet the customers entering the business where she works and continue performing her job properly again. Before she lets go of the Taiwanese woman, Nayeon said one last thing to her before they parted ways. "So Tzuyu, are you in with me?" Nayeon said, folding her arms, awaiting the younger's response to her invitation to assist her in carrying out the vengeance plot she had for you.

Tzuyu then looked at Nayeon as she lifted her available hand to instigate a handshake. She stared at the hand for a few more seconds before coming up with the finalized answer she made up in her mind from rewinding everything Nayeon has told her about you being a goddamn cheater and a two-timer to her and to your ex-wife Jeongyeon.

"So, what happened?"

Jeongyeon was sipping her hot machiatto coffee on the mug she's holding when she heard Nayeon's question coming from the kitchen, preparing their breakfast for today. "It went... good." Jeongyeon said, quitely paused in the middle as she recalled her first meetup with you after the breakup they had. "He agreed for a closure and there, we had it." "Was he sincere?" Jeongyeon stared deeply for a few seconds on her drink, processing Nayeon's question. She remembered how there was none of a trace that you even acknowledged your wrong doing to her still but the hug as you told her how thankful you were that she won't go away because you can't make it happen that you gave her was contradicting her thoughts. She also can feel that warmth of your embrace. It may not gave the same feeling as the both of you would share before but it kind of gives her assurance that although you won't speak it for your own, it's giving her the hint that you still think and care for her otherwise. But then, she disregarded again that theory. You cheated. How the hell would make her convinced that you are what she's guessing. If you did think fo her, why did you betrayed her trust? If you did care for her, why would you break her heart and leave her without any sign of regret and guilt from you? "I... I... don't know." Jeongyeon concluded. It was too confusing and complicated to her yet. "Why do you say so?" Nayeon exits the kitchen, bringing two plates placed with freshly made sandwich each for them with her and place it on the table. "How does he responded to it anyway?" "He asked me first if I'm sure with what I'm doing. I said yes. He accepted, got surprised again because he... he knew what happened to us before." Jeongyeon gulped, fiddling her fingers on the handle of the cup as Nayeon listened to her.

"He's aware." Nayeon nodded. Jeongyeon looked at her. "Did he apologized?" Jeongyeon only bowed her head, sighed and shook her head gently. Nayeon's lips twitched in disappointment. "So, let me guess; he did accepted your closure... because he's good with the idea that you and him should remain friends. That's it?"

"Yeah." "That selfish prick." Nayeon huffed in the air. "He still won't admit it huh." Jeongyeon continued sipping on her coffee before taking a first bite on her food. While doing so, Nayeon took the chance to ask again. "What keeps you from being sure?" Heat all over Jeongyeon's body increased as the replay of you hugging her unexpectedly once again reoccured in her mind. It's as if she's in sync again with what that yesterday's her who received that felt while being entrapped in your arms again. A culmination of all the stories, memories, and experiences gathered into one done purely with the love that was once keeping you and Jeongyeon apart. Her arms suddenly moved by itself, hands began caressing each other's opposite skin as she tries to prevent it from disturbing her. "Jeongyeon?" "B-before I go he..." Jeongyeon catched her head with her hands grasping at both sides, feeling stressed because of what you're doing to her again. "He catched up to say thank you again then he hugged me." Nayeon stared at her friend for a while, monitoring her expression and reaction about it. She can tell that it brings back the familiar things that were once given and shared with her by none other than you who became her first and only man, confidently thinking at first that you were the right person she would love to spend the rest of her life to be with. Troubled. That's what it got her from deciding whether your actions and words are true. But then again, it got her thinking that at some point it makes her feeling stupid for herself asking her friend if you were sincere. You betrayed her. How could she even figure out if can you be trusted again at whatever the hell you do in front of her if you destroyed that very valuable thing that cannot or almost impossible to fix within a person's value. Now she made sure she won't ask her again about it. She can speak something about it, but then again... it's pretty understandable for Jeongyeon now to feel this way. "I know I hated how he could just do that to me but when he did it, I sensed something on him. My urge to let go was held back, Nay. It was like... a glimpse at least, that he... he still has something in there that belongs to me." Jeongyeon began slightly choking on her breath, head bobbed as she sniffed on her tiny tears slowly escaping in her eyes. Nayeon didn't hesitated to stood up and approach her poor friend to comfort her with a caress to the back and a pat to the head. "It's okay, Jeongyeon. I can't blame you if you're still feeling this way. I know it's still hard to move on and you're trying." "But just to let you know always, I'm here to help this time okay?" Jeongyeon nodded. "I will help you back up again, Jeong. Trust me." Nayeon kissed the crown of Jeongyeon's head before giving a last squeeze on the pityful lady before she returned to her seat and continue eating her sandwich. It went silent for a moment as both took time to enjoy their precious meal as respect for the blessing presented in front of them. After emptying their respective drink and food, Jeongyeon took the turn to collect the plates and mug as Nayeon opened her phone. "By the way, how was your meetup with her too?" Nayeon heard it. To be fair, she answered it too. "A success, if I must say. She was trying to be in denial as I expected. Thankfully, I'm prepared. Showed her everything I got to prove my statements are true." "Oh...", Jeongyeon reacted. "Well, so what does she said then?" "She believed, and she agreed to my proposal." Nayeon smirked as she glanced at Jeongyeon standing beside her while holding the dishes. "So, Tzuyu? Are you in with me?", Nayeon said, folding her arms, awaiting the younger's response to her invitation to assist her in carrying out the vengeance plot she had for you. Tzuyu then looked at Nayeon as she lifted her hand to instigate a handshake. She stared at the hand for a few more seconds before coming up with a finalized answer she made up in her mind after rewinding Nayeon has told her about you being a goddamn cheater and a two timer to her and to your ex-wife Jeongyeon. Nayeon felt a touch on her available hand. The sight is very clear and what a glorious thing to see for her as it only means one thing for her: accomplishment. Tzuyu's hand grasped Nayeon's hand, accepting the handshake to seal the deal. "If... that's what everything you say abut him being all true. That his love and everything he showed to me was fake and I'm just nothing but a mistress I've never wanted to... I- I accept your offer Miss Nayeon. I'll help you get back on him for what he did to your friend while I get mine... for me."

Nayeon grinned widely at Tzuyu's answer. She thanked her after and assured her that they will get this done someday until they achieve what it matters the most for them: your endless suffering. They exchanged numbers before Nayeon bought another one in the store in the store as she leaves the mall, her first plan now crossed out in the list. "So yeah, as of now she's on the standby; waiting for me to send a signal for our next move." Jeongyeon remained silent as she nodded. "What's her name by the way?" "It's Chou Tzuyu. She's a Taiwanese. Works as a saleslady in a famous luxurious designer clothing store, and I'm telling you..." Nayeon halted to chuckle in amazement and impressed at the next thing she has in mind. "What?" "She's a very gorgeous looking young lady. So pure, kind and innocent. Your husband surely does pick so well on women with the likes of you and now her but too bad, he fooled that girl and even hurt her also with you.". Nayeon clicked her tongue in dismay. Jeongyeon became even more intrigued at this Tzuyu girl regarding her friend's description.

"W-wait, what do you mean "fooled"?" "She doesn't know it also, Jeong. I don't why I didn't hesitated to atleast doubt first if she's telling the truth, but the way how I saw her face when she looked at your wedding picture with YN and how she just shambles down in front of me. Those were enough for me to realize that she... she is a victim here too, Jeong." "Seeing her broke down when I had to tell her that she's being cheated. It was like I saw you in her, and it breaks my heart immediately." Nayeon looked at Jeongyeon and showed a tightlipped expression. "I'll introduce her to you someday, Can't wait for you and her to meet." Nayeon smiled at Jeongyeon before retuning her gaze at her phone, allowing Jeongyeon to place the dishes on the sink as her head were filled of many new informations she learned all caused by your intoxicating sin. MEANWHILE... "I got to go now, okay? Have a nice day on your work today, babe." You kissed Tzuyu's cheek as both of them reached the front of the store. Tzuyu fakely smiled at your greeting, but being the oblivious you are; you didn't notice it. "You too. Bye." You waved your hand at her one last time which she also did before she quickly entered the store, her back now facing your sight. Tzuyu on the other hand, had her emotion shifted into a serious one as her fists began clenched tightly in uplifting rage that is cursing into her. You pulled out your phone and glanced through it as you stepped into one of the steps of the moving escalator. A message popped out of the screen which caused you to be excited and grin heavily because of the person who sent this to you. You drove away with your black sedan and head through your scheduled destination. A peek of the place caught your eyes from the window. You turned the steering wheel to the left as you finally arrived; parking your car on one of the available spots in the parking lot. After hopping out and start walking through the entrance door, you opened it and entered the place, on what is called to be a gym where there's some men and women busily doing also what you also came here for today: to work out. However, unlike them though; you have another reason in mind that encourages you to come here and establish yourself to become a regular and a "special" customer. Beng the only person who has a VIP like pass in this place, you shamelessly walked through the counter and pose yourself there while waiting for that particular woman locked in your gaze who is helping a customer to arrange herself to a perfect position to use an exercise machine. Now that she finished and received a thankful remark, she was about to return to the cashier when she caught your presence there, a smirk crept up in her eyes immediately. You had to watch this woman walk towards you, weren't sure if the way everything she does as it feels like it was all in slow motion when she comes in contact of your attention are either intentional or not. The way her hips sway, strong legs switching movements, her hair bounces as she combs sexily, bending her upper body where those perfectly built stoned abs get flexed and ofcourse those huge rounded chest of hers being barely hidden by her grey Calvin Klein sports bra that only compresses and instead forms a hypnotizing cleavage that you find it diffult to ignore. "You're finally here, YN." She slapped your chest before taking out her jacket and place it on her chair. She comes up to you and gave you a peck in the lips. Her hand caressed your chest as she greeted you with her seducive low pitched voice. "Good morning, hotshot. Ready for our intense workout today?" "When I have ever not if I'll do it with you, Momo?" You fixed some disarranged strands of hair in her bangs before pinched her peachy cheeks. "That's great to hear." She giggled. She took your hand and pulled it with her as she made you follow her around. "Come on, let's get started. The usual first then I have some new sets prepared for us." "Okay." You nodded. As you and her placed the tumbler and some other belongings that both of you will definitely need throughout the workout, you came up to her and wrap your arms around her waist. "Hey, I'm sorry if I never got to visit you for days, okay? Work has been requiring me a lot." You apologized to her. She did that adorable pouty look very close to your face as she sulked. "Now that you reminded me of that, yes I do felt lonely not seeing you around here" She glared away from you. "But, it's all okay now. Atleast you're sorry." She wrapped her arms around your neck. "Are you taking care of your health?" "Yup. I'm still doing a bit of cardios and endurance at home. Jogging outside, if I may include." You enumerated. "And oh, I also organized my meal plan again. Got some new additions." "Well, that's good. You're listening and . Keep it that way." She patted your head like a good boy. "Ofcourse I do, you know I'm still doing it all just to make us finally official, right?" You sniggered. Momo laughed. "You really want me to be all yours, huh?" "You have no idea." You shook your head. Momo pressed her body against yours, her face leaned closer on your ears as she whispers. "Say, what if we complete our session today... you can finally get the answer you've been waiting for." You got taken aback at what she said. Mouth went agaped as you got stunned for a while before proceeding to reply. "S-sure! What are we waiting for then? Can we start now?" You motivatedly said. Momo lets go from you and sets up the timer in her phone as she chuckles. "Easy there, tiger. Don't rush me around. I'm your coach, remember? Do you want me to reconsider-" "N-no! No. I'm sorry. I'll behave." You frantically waved your hands to gesture her to stop saying the next words you're afraid to hear. Thankfully, Momo listened as she's just only messing around with you. She stood on her own position beside you after. "Alright, ready? We'll do the stretches first. 8 counts. Left and right." After 3 hours of working out together with Momo, you two decided to continue your rest outside of the gym after you and her were both contented enough with the amount of cold temperature to help ease each other's exhaustion and body heat from the intense exercises you've gone through. You and her are now sitting behind the trunk of your car, your towel wrapped around your neck and your head placed atop of Momo's shoulder whose back is leaned behind her foldable chair. Drinking a cold water in your tumbler, you cleansed your throat before proceeding to talk to Momo. "I'm all ears, Momoring." "Eh?" You shrugged and laughed softly. "You know what I mean." "Ahh" she dumbfoundedly reacted. "Oh yeah... the answer." "Mmmhmm."

"But I'm not rushing you, okay? I just want to tell you because I thought-" You got silenced when Momo pushed her index finger on your lips. "Don't worry, YN. I'm not, okay? Actually... I've been thinking about it for days now and I had it prepared to do it... today." Momo dragged her fingers to your chin as she cupped and played it with. "And I thought... after everything that you've done and showed to me. You know I do have feelings for you too, YN and... the more I've been seeing you a lot as I reflect myself how I feel so comfortable, complete and happy when I'm with you, I thought... why don't I just turn it up, you know?" "So yeah... YN...", Momo looked down and smiled, blush forming in her cheks before looking up at you as her eyes twinkled. "You passed. I would really like to have you as my boyfriend." "Woah? Y-you are?", Your separated yourself away from Momo in shock. Momo nodded and just giggled at your actions. With pure happiness, you pulled Momo for a grateful hug which she accepted immediately. "Thnak you, Momo. Seriously." You kissed Momo in the lips after. "I love you." "You're welcome, YN. I love you too." *click* Unbeknownst to you and Momo, one of the cars parked near in the gym has a person inside of it that has been spying both of you earlier way since you entered the gym hours ago. After clicking on her camera for the nth time, she looked at the image she captured, and oh boy what a great shot she just took, A perfect formula for your sudden destruction. Her wicked smiled crept up in her lips. "Gotcha." She dialed someone on the phone before putting it in front of her ear. "Hello, Tzu. Let's meet tomorrow. I'll show you something." "What did you see, N-Nayeon unnie?" Tzuyu replied to the caller she sent to track you down. Back at the store earlier, when she reached the backroom where all of employee's locker are placed, she pulls out her phone and called Nayeon to inform her of your departure. Nayeon who is waiting outside the mall, saw you exit and silently followed you before saying goodbye to Tzuyu as she confirms her target on you. That's where it led her being here in front of the place where you secretly go to meet your other sidegirl, who is the owner of the gym you've been visiting recently named Hirai Momo. "I can't tell you yet, Tzu. I think it's best for you to see the truth in your own eyes but I only have one word to answer you: positive." She quickly pressed the end button, not even waiting any longer for her comment. All that Nayeon has in mind now is to face her tomorrow and send this to her directly. She woke up her car again and drives away back to her home to rest, leaving you and Momo to sepnd little more time to rest before also leaving together with her, as she invites you to stay with her for a while in her own house. "I figured it's been a while you've been here so... that's why I brought you here." Momo said before knocking on the door twice. "Yeah, I've missed being in here. Your house looks great. I presume what I'll see inside would be the same as always.", you smiled. The door then opens, you saw it reveals a woman sporting a brown curvy long hair, face presenting a breathtaking beauty, wearing a purple t-shirt and a jogging pants. Your eyes were fixated even more when the woman stares back at you cluelessly. You were indeed right at what you just said. It was undeniable that she even looked more beautiful today from the last time you saw her. "Momo-chan! O-oh... YN? Hi..." the squirrel looking girl said with her high pitched squeaky voice before her tone lowered when she catched your apperarance standing beside her cousin. "Hi, Sana. Long time no see." You smirked as you bounced your eyebrows that made the Japanese girl gulp and tense up in shyness. Meanwhile, Jeongyeon was walking on her way through your company building with her phone on her hand. It was open and it has your message on her agreeing that you'll meet with her there to spend time and catch up with her too. She decided to do it today so as of now she's about to visit you in your workplace today.

Entering the building, greeting the guards kindly; she made her way through the concierge area where the receptionists are always present to help the concerns of everyone who comes in here. "Uhh, hi miss." "Hello, maam. How can I help you?", the receptionist glanced at Jeongyeon first before typing back on her computer. "Can I ask if the name YN LN here today?" "Do you have an appointment with him, maam?" "N-no, he's my friend and I just want to request if you could atleast reach out to him for me. Tell her that a certain name of Yoo Jeongyeon wants to visit her."

"Okay, one moment maam please.", the lady nodded. "Thank you."

After waiting for a while, the receptionsit speaks again. "Sorry maam but Mr. LN is on the leave for today. He'll be resuming his work tomorrow though, you can come here again for him if you may so." "Oh... is that so." Jeongyeon reacted understandably. "Sorry, I didn't knew he's on a dayoff today. We just actually met again yesterday after few months of being away." She explained.

"Anyways, thank you for the help miss."

"You're welcome maam. Happy to serve." The lady and Jeongyeon bowed at each other before she leaves the building with a mix of disappointment, relief and sadness consuming her inside. "Tomorrow it is, I guess." She said before entering her car again and drive back home. Later that night, you just picked up Tzuyu in the clothing store and ate together with her on the mall for dinner. You are currently driving her to her home and you noticed that Tzuyu seemed silent and emotionless, so you assumed hat she's just tired or she's just lonely about something. To find out, an idea developed in your mind. Arriving in front of her house, you escorted her out of the car. "Thanks." She was about to come to the doorway when you interrupted her. "Tzu, are you okay?" You asked worriedly. "I'm fine. I'm just tired." You looked at the house and noticed that the lights are off. It's only 9PM in the night so far and it's weird if her parents are already asleep. "Are you parents' not at home?" "It's their anniversary today, they'll spend a vacation in Jeju for 3 days."She answered, explaining the reason. "Ahh..." You nodded. "Tzu, since your parents aren't home and you're alone. Do you want me to say for tonight and you know... help you rest with something?" "What do you have in mind, YN?" You stepped closer to Tzuyu and slowly nuzzle your face inches away to the crook of neck. Your lips began in contact with her smooth creamy skin. Tzuyu finally understood what you're referring at and to be honest, she isn't impressed at all. Instead of being aroused, she's just getting irritated and annoyed more and more. Tzuyu groaned and gritted her teeth as your hand became even more active, slowly touching her thigh up to her plump ass traced by her pencil shirt as your lips crawls down even more dangerously to the middle of her chest. "S-stop." Tzuyu isn't letting this go further now. She gently pushed you away from her which made you stare at her in curiousity. "I appreciate the concern, YN but I'll be fine. I just want an alone time for now and all I want to do so far is to sleep. I'm super tired." "A-are you sure, Tzu?" She just nodded. "O-oh, okay. If you don't feel well, I'm just one call away okay?" "Okay." "Alright, goodnight babe. Love you." You kissed her on the cheeks which she only grimaced. You entered your car and closed the door. Before driving away, you peeked at the rolled down window to say one last thing to her. "Rest well, okay?" Tzuyu just nodded. Again. You finally made your way exit. Tzuyu didn't even need to watch your car disappear on her sight from the distance as she quickly opens the door and enter her house. After changing her clothes and cleaning up, she lays down on her bed with her posture sideways. Then, she recalled what exactly happened that leads to her mood being completely ruined.

Nayeon arrived at the mall and invited Tzuyu to eat with her for lunch at one of the restaurants during her break. After they gave their orders to the waiter, Tzuyu spoke again for their conversation to proceed. "You followed him?" "Yeah. He went into this gym located in Hongdae." Nayeon nodded. "Did he say something to you before he left you?" "Nothing much. He just said he has to go now. He didn't told me where he'll be going or what's his purpose of." Tzuyu answered.

"Makes sense that he won't. Why would a cheating bitch would take down his guard if it'll risk his dark secret to be exposed, right?" Nayeon raised her eyebrows and created a sour face. "Y-you said it's positive, what did you see when you were there?" Tzuyu nervously asked and waited for Nayeon to inform her what she got. Nayeon opens her bag and takes out her camera. She turns it on and scrolls down on the gallery and paused at the exceptional picture that when she shows it toher, it won't need any further explanations to spill in addition. "I must say, he did kept you out from it. Although, having an eyes is useless when your mind is blind... and that what he is." Nayeon then gave the camera to Tzuyu and watched her look at it horribly. "I know it's not the perfect thing you want to see, but I have to remind to you again Tzuyu. You agreed to help me, I'm just doing to favor in return. This is one of my ways. I'm going to open your eyes and see the reality. Especially... when the truth is right there to set you free." In the middle of the night, sounds of helpless, broken and grieving screams and cries can be heard in the Chou residence. Despite of the exhausted eyes, Tzuyu's tears still pours out from her eyes one after the another until she finally burst out in loud sobs. She pounded the bed, raked her hair aggressively and threw all her pillows with her clenched fists in all anger, rage and devastation. She remained suffering inside the darkness as the image of you and Momo kissing outside of the gym earlier continues to intensify the pain in her heart and mind while her vengeful state becomes intensified.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 1

That's right, folks, I've been talked into going back to the beginning of Season 5 (which is when I was first talked into watching this show... I'm sensing a theme, here).

SPOILER ALERT: This is going to spoil the entirety of Episode 1 of Season 5, and may reference past The Rookie episodes and Chenford moments. Please abandon ship NOW if you don't want spoilers.

Episode 1 of Season 5 was juicy, but it was also heartbreaking in a number of ways. What do I mean? Well... I'll tell you... after the "Keep reading"...

Previously On... Snogging Your Boss

To catch everyone up, Season 4 ended with Tim and Lucy awkward with one another after they lip-locked while attempting to get under the skin of their alter-egos, Dim and Juicy. That was a delicious scene, but we're in Season 5, now, so let's see where Lucy is...

Dreaming of Said Lip-Lock

Lucy is smiling in her sleep thinking not of her "work in progress"... but of her SO (who she wants to be her SO... if you know what I mean).

I've gone back and forth on whether this is an un-used take, or whether it was shot for the episode. Perhaps one of y'all can illuminate, if you know.

But with the track-around shot being so bloody perfect, and no signs that this alternate angle was used in any of the footage that we see in Season 4's finale, I keep thinking it was shot just for Lucy's dream.

Lucy Chen is having a sexy dream about Tim Bradford. (that one's for my Miggy mutuals out there).

Not only that, but she's making him a little more assertive in her dream... cupping her face with his hand, pushing the kiss deeper as her lips part. Lucy wants Tim to take charge. Yowza!

The knock at her door coincides with the door-interruption in her dream, and Lucy wakes rudely, shaken from the very nice feeling dream. (and then she shakes a very flimsy bed that will need an upgrade if Tim and Lucy are ever to share it... just sayin')

Tamara opens the door (can't believe Tamara c*ck-blocked Chenford in two different episodes in two different realities back-to-back), and steps in. She's worried about her Mom/Roommate.

"I could blow off class, if you want. We could go shopping. See a movie." "I'll be fine. I'm not going to be anywhere near Rosalind. Tim and I are station-bound waiting for the phone to ring." "On your undercover thing?" "Yeah, the original go-time fell through and it's just been radio silent ever since."

Thank you, expositionary dialogue, for helping catch us up. Look, it's one of those necessary evils, sometimes, when you're trying to quickly bring viewers up to speed. Some people can do it well, and some people really can't.

My husband is a huge Star Trek fan. I mean, I'm a fan... he puts the fanatic in fan, if you know what I mean. He has a USS Hood hoodie, for goodness sake.

Anyway, he once learned that there were certain actors who were given all the expositionary dialogue on Star Trek: The Next Generation because others totally botched it. I'll let you figure out who.

Here, with confirmations, affirmations, and back-and-forth dialogue, we've gotten through that a little smoother than if one person monologued it for us.

"This the same undercover thing you and Tim were discussing the other night?"

Mom just got called for making out with her "friend" by her daughter. Yikes! And while Lucy's face screws up trying to determine which emotion to display, Tamara watches, the teenage snark at the ready for anything her Mom uses to deflect.

"I already told you, that kiss didn't mean anything." "Right. Right. It was for the case! Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks."

Thank God I wasn't drinking anything the first time I heard this line, because I would have spat it clear across the room in a fine spray of incredulity.

Because Tim and Lucy weren't just kissing, there. That kiss had several distinct mouth movements of deepening from lips colliding, to smoothing into it, to a breath of air before diving deeper for more.

Tim was about to go fishing for Lucy's tongue if that door hadn't opened.

Lucy has a lot going on. We know from end of Season 4 that she's aware of her growing feelings for Tim. Watching him fake his engagement struck an unexpectedly dissonant cord.

But that doesn't mean she's ready to face them. Tim having Ashley and her having Chris helps create a boundary... right?

"Go to school!" "Okay. Well, have a great day. With your boss. Who you kissed."

Lucy can try to deny it all she wants, but when Tamara walked in the other night, Lucy's hands were on Tim's chest. Her eyes were closed. His hands were on her arm, and they were decidedly not sharing a peck. They were snogging, and it would have been a while before they stopped—if they stopped—had Tamara not walked in.

And Lucy's been trying not to think about that. Look at how she squirms when Tamara walks out.

Because, while we know that Tim had his Moment of Realization when he left Lucy's sight, she has no idea about any of that.

She knows that they tried to talk about it at work the next day, and he didn't mention anything between them. So, she's compartmentalized that it's all in her head... not knowing he's done the exact same thing.

Because while Tim and Lucy can be very different people, there are places in their lives where they align like mirrored puzzle pieces, designed to fit together, yet unaware until they shift into the right positions (heh).

Both of them are rationalizing, burying, and trying to pretend it meant nothing. For one thing, they're both with other people right now, and neither is a fan of cheating. Secondly, this is a big deal.

Tim hasn't dated within the Station since his wife, and they were Rookies together. Lucy hasn't dated within the Station since she dated Nolan and she swore off cops as potential partners.

Not to mention their friendship that has built over the years. They're finally in a good place. Do they really want to risk this comfortable place where they've finally arrived? Is it worth it?

They don't know, yet. So, they're both spiraling.

"You kissed Lucy?"

Let's not pretend Angela doesn't know what's up. Girlfriend is a detective and she happens to be Tim's best friend. When he was spiraling because Caleb took Lucy, he called Angela. Why? He needed to talk it out.

And much as Tim used to complain about Lucy doing it in the Shop with her love life, he does the same thing... when it comes to Lucy.

Angela knows that Tim needs to talk it out because he's spiraling emotionally, and he doesn't handle that well on his own. So, he needs an outside perspective.

Keep in mind, this is days after their kiss. Tamara said, "the other day". So, not yesterday... but sometime in the last week or so. Tim hasn't been able to get Lucy's lips (and their taste) off his mind in days, so he is finally cracking and calling in Angela for the assist.

"No. No. Dim kissed Juicy. Okay? Or, Jake kissed Sava. Whatever."

Tim, honey, there's a river I need to tell you about... It's one I feel like you must've visited before called... DENIAL. You can't rationalize away feelings, Timmy, my boy. It doesn't work that way.

Angela's smirk game is PEAK at this moment. This is all she needed to know that Timothy is getting in his feels about his former Boot. And, let's be real, Angela knows a thing or two about feelings that can't be denied. She'll be the least judgy about all this... but she'll also be the most brutal in her teasing.

"The point is, we had to be comfortable going undercover, so we practiced being a couple." "How much did you practice?"

Angela Lopez, te amo. You are now my hermana and we're going to get along famously because you called Tim out so effortlessly. I always knew I liked you!

Tim is not happy with it. He really wants someone to agree with him and help him rationalize what he can't loosen from his head (and heart).

Kissing Lucy felt good. Kissing Lucy felt right. He didn't want to stop. He wanted to keep kissing her. And when Tamara walked in, he felt like he'd been caught. Why does he still feel that way?

Why can't he loose the feel of her arms in his hands, the smell of her skin to close to his, the taste of her mouth... and why is he still craving it?

The two of them faced a scare like this at the beginning of Season 4. Presumably, he wasn't dating Ashley, yet, when Lucy spent the night (or half a night) after Jackson's death and Angela's kidnapping.

He'd held her in his arms, then. And even when they'd separated, his left hand was still rubbing up and down, offering comfort as she looked up at him with those big eyes.

Feeling her breath on his neck, he'd abandoned ship faster than Billy Zane's character in Titanic. But he'd thought of her. Heck, we don't know if he might have been on his feet walking to her when he got Wesley's call as she was on her feet coming to him.

But that time he was able to push it down. Kissing her awakened something that's refusing to silence in his brain... an anxious hum that only quiets in the peace of her presence, her arms, her embrace.

Damnit. He never should have taken that UC assignment.

"It was just a kiss. Not that big of a deal." "Then why are we talking about it?"

He's begging her to say the same thing. This is the equivalent of Lucy's "Right?" when she really needs affirmation.

I mean, he doesn't even have a ready answer when Angela asks... and he deflects. Hard.

"Because, what if it wasn't just a kiss for her?"

See? I'm thinking about her not about me.

"You think Lucy has feelings for you?" "No."

And he means that. Tim Bradford doesn't believe Lucy could have feelings for him, that she could love him, that she would ever want to be with him.

And he's never thought about it seriously before, himself. But now it's getting harder and harder to ignore.

"Then she probably sees it how you do—just a weird thing you had to do for work." "Right."

And that's the part he didn't want affirmed... that Lucy feels nothing romantic for him, and it's all in his head.

That's what he believes. Tim has spent his life thinking he was un-loveable. First, my an abusive father. Then, a wife who abandoned him. A girlfriend who chose her dream job.

And, even now with Ashley, it's all wrong. He hates the beach and he's dating a lifeguard who wants to vacation at beaches.

He's trying to make it work because it's the most stable relationship he's had in a while... but it was always rocky and the cracks are becoming more apparent the more he ruminates on this Lucy situation.

Angela notes every second of Tim's discomfort.

"Timothy... do you have feelings for Lucy?" "No!"

Have we ever heard Tim's voice go that high? I'm struggling to remember, but I laughed aloud the first time I watched that and had to rewind to see the rest of the line, which is really all another rationalization.

"No, I'm dating Ashley, and Lucy is with Chris, and I'm her Superior Officer, so..." "All true. Not what I asked."

Because she doesn't need to ask. Angela knows why they are having this conversation, and Tim's growing increasingly frustrated because he wants to believe he doesn't have feelings for Lucy.

But he does... and it's getting harder to deny.

"What'd I miss?" "Nolan got a Golden Ticket."

Now I know Tim Bradford is in love because there was zero commentary on Lucy being late to roll call!

"Your lady squared away?" "Hell, no. You think we don't got lives of our own waiting around on some mystery gig?"

It's the debut of Lucy's take on Sava. Assertive, just like Nova. Just like Lucy.

"Yo. Davion's money." "Davion's handsy. Get someone else."

This isn't Chenford directly, but I love seeing how Tim's not as on top of the UC thing as Lucy. It's not a ding on Tim. It's simply a reminder that Lucy is a natural at this, and that she can manipulate the situation as needed.

Is it always successful? No. But she knew how to keep Tim and Jackson alive during the op when she was pulled over, and she's trying to spare them getting made here.

"Oh! Looking good, Juicy."

Look, I know it's Aaron saying it, but Tim's reacting, too. Look at his face, taking her in.

And it kills me that we don't get a good reverse on his reaction her thong comment. Kills me. I'd love to see Tim "No, I don't have feelings for Lucy" Bradford not react to the idea of the thong she is currently wearing.

"Airstrip. I thought this job was local." "It's not. That a problem?" "Yeah, that's a problem. I travel with three suitcases minimum. It requires precision to look this good."

Again, it didn't work, but Lucy was quick on that response. Lucy, maybe you should really pursue this UC stuff. You're pretty good at it!

Dim and Juicy Roll Up in Tamara's Car

The music's blaring, and Tim and Lucy have left themselves behind. They've slipped into the skin of two flirty, horny, lust-distracted ne'er-do-wells, and I am here for it.

Look, I know we all laughed at the beginning of their kiss scene because Tim and Lucy were so uncomfortable. Now, those who were still alive by the end of the scene know they are perfectly capable of getting coupley with a little prodding.

"You're late." "Yeah, well, our quickie wasn't so quick."

Lucy winds an arm around Tim's waist, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders, fitting against one another as though they'd done it a thousand times.

Tim is completely in her space, and though the clothes and personalities are borrowed, we get a sneak peek into a future Chenford. They just fit together so well!

"First, cell phones."

Lucy's POUT and how Tim immediately snaps to her. I'm convinced half of the reason he's so bloody convincing during this whole episode is because he's completely under her spell.

Yes, he did well running solo. But can you imagine if he'd run this op with Nyla or Angela? He might've pulled it off, but not to this degree of believability.

Tim and Lucy turn over their cell phones, and then they're right back to one another's embrace as Dim and Juicy forget anyone else is there.

And this is yet another glimpse at Tim and Lucy's future... Because some part of them is aching for this.

Right now, they can live vicariously through Dim and Juicy and pretend it's completely on the level. "It's not really US. It's THEM! We aren't doing anything wrong."

But it's all about how they feel, and that's quickly catching up with them.

Hands. Hands. HANDS!

Look, the scene where Lucy hands Tim a glass of champagne and drapes herself across me is choice. Lucy drapes herself over him, he wraps his arm around her waist, settling on her thigh, and she places her hand over his.

As he talks and his hands move, hers move with him, like a magnetic pull. They never practiced this. Because the second Tim and Lucy let go and give into the couple shtick, it brings out their natural rhythm.

"Rosalind Dyer escaped."

Sava disintegrates and Lucy is left stunning, sitting atop Tim's lap. Tim notes her shift immediately and grabs onto her hand, much as she grabbed onto his when he pulled her over during her first solo UC op. It's comfort.

While Lucy has led the way for their alter-egos, it's now Tim who comes up with the perfect excuse to get her alone (*ahem*) and invites Juicy to join the Mile High Club.

As the baddies roll their eyes at Dim and Juicy's antics, Tim gets a barely-held-together Lucy into the bathroom and away from their gazes.

Let's be real, any one of us would be reeling, too. The one time Lucy and Tim were in the presence of Rosalind Dyer together, that woman had Lucy spinning out in seconds. It took Tim—her fierce protector—to snap her out of it and silence the singing.

Now, that same fierce protector has to snap her out of it so they don't get massacred above the clouds. It's not a time for kid gloves... it's a time to get her head in the game, or cut their losses. He's not willing to risk Lucy's life for an op*.

*Keep this in mind later in the season

"I'm fine. I can do this." "No. No, you're not. I'm pulling the plug as soon as we land."

Because he knows her. She can't play him, anymore. Yes, there was a time she could get away with it, but he's staring in her eyes and he can feel the fear and anxiety flowing off of her.

"No. Look, the stakes are too high. This is our one chance at Madris. The news threw me for a second, but I'm... I'm fine. I can do this."

And while we all know (Tim included), Lucy is far from fine, he believes she can get her head in the game enough to see this through.

And we all know that's because he is helping her. She always knew that when it was too much for her to deal with, he'd be there to help. Maybe he didn't believe it at the time, but Lucy did. And she was right.

"Okay. Lucy, if you change your mind, you just say the word."

Tim is so commanding in this moment. It's not anything he's lording over her, no. But he's reminding us that he's the Sergeant in this situation, and he is not going to let her go down for an op.

"Wait." "What?" "We're supposed to be hooking up in here."

And that doe-eyed boy truly has no idea what's flying his way.

I'm reminded of Cary Grant's line to Audrey Hepburn in Charade. "When you come on, you come on."

That's Lucy. When she's ready for something, she commit to it completely. Whether it's a moment or a lifetime.

And right now, she's committing to this moment of her lips on his lips, her hands on his body, and her mind on something besides the anxiety and fear filling her from Rosalind's escape.

Lucy grabs ahold of Tim's face with both hands and lunges herself at his lips. He reels back, nearly falling onto the counter behind him. But as soon as his brain begins to process what the hell is happening, his hands easily reach for her.

Tim doesn't waste time, this time. He didn't know if he'd have another chance to kiss her, and he wants this more than he'll admit.

Now, in both kisses, Lucy has her arms between them. So, their bodies aren't pressing together, and that makes Tim's hand placement a little more awkward.

Could be an actor choice. Could be a directing choice. Could be a writing choice.

Whatever the reason, Tim's options are more limited. But as his hand runs up her arm, it becomes less timid, and more sure. He pushes back against her kiss and she moves with him, letting him take point. She needs this.

Lucy could have smeared her lipstick on him. She could have rumpled his clothes. But Lucy needs something to center her right now.

She needs another emotion to draw from besides her fear. And while she doesn't know how Tim feels about her, she knows that kissing him feels good, and right, and comforting.

They transition from Lucy sucking on his top lip to his bottom lip, and her hand finally drops away, giving Tim the space to put his hand in what I believe to be his favorite place—her face.

He wants that skin-on-skin connection. He wants the romance. Tim wants every second of this kiss.

Which is why he says, "More" when she pulls away. Turn up the volume and watch that boy's lips. Tim Bradford is GONE, my friends.

And Lucy's shaking. Melissa O'Neil, herself, confirmed that this was a planted callback to Lucy's hands shaking after Tim resuscitated her in the desert. Lucy's a bloody mess, but she wants to make this work.

Oh, what about Tim? Tim's in bloody shock. Each kiss is progressively worse for his ability to shove those emotions back down. Now he's the one who needs to get his head in the game.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight

I love the glances to one another in the car... the subtle check-ins. These two are such soul-mates.

"Hello, back off." "Must be the new skank." "Who are you calling a skank? You better get the hell outta here. If I see you again, I'm gonna rip this janky ass hairpiece outta your head. Hm?"

Tim and Lucy had no idea that Jake would have a connection at this casino, and getting made is the worst thing that could happen. Lucy leaps into action, and I really think Tim is impressed... and a little turned on.

"She's solid."

We've talked before about how Angela is a good detective, but she's going with Tim's gut on this. And Lucy knows the weight of it. She's not going to let Tim down.

"You're really good at this, you know? The whole Undercover thing." "Thank you."

Tim doesn't give out a lot of compliments, but he's seen Lucy in action, today, and she's been amazing on-the-fly.

Sure, he's watched her undercover ops from afar (and that one time he pulled her over), but this is different. He's been in the moment with her and seen her make moves he'd never think to make.

Also, I love that her way to prove to Tim that she could handle Undercover was to fake her feelings for him. And today's op has been all about embracing those feelings under the guise they are fake.

Is that the definition of irony? I'll have to ask my English-teacher husband.

And I find it fascinating that this praise doesn't activate her Praise Kink. Perhaps it's her aching head or the stress of Rosalind, but she seems more... confused by Tim's compliment.

Maybe she thinks he's complimenting her kissing skills... because, yeah, they're fire together.

"Uh, do you mind if I take the first shower?" "No, it's fine. Hey you hungry?" "Yes! I would get some french fries if you're ordering.

Tim looks up just in time to see Lucy's shirt swish off of her, revealing a bare back. Can you imagine the neurons firing off in that man's mind right now? Now he knows she wasn't wearing a bra the whole damn day.

Tim backs up like he's been struck by something heavy and he turns away, trying to get his brain to start firing and his secondary brain to stop revving its engine.

He mutters about fries as he sits on the bed, trying to focus on the menu in front of him.

But half-naked Lucy is right there, and his eyes drift back to the door, just in time to see her whisk past. He looks away, again... Then back, again.

And, let's be real. If he was struggling not to go after her when she was fully clothed on his couch, imagine how hard he's struggling not to imagine Lucy in that shower... and imagine himself with Lucy in that shower...

And... maybe y'all need a cold shower by now. You good? Good.

But Tim Bradford is far from good. He's so far from good that he turns on sports, and rather than getting lost in the game and upset about any interruptions, he's begging the game to take him away from the thoughts running through his head.

Because he never thought it would come to this. He never thought she would kiss him again. He never thought he'd be in a position where he would have this beautiful woman right there who might possibly feel what he's feeling.

And so Tim Bradford does something I never thought I'd see him do... he takes a leap.

"What?" "Do you want to talk about it?" "About what?" "The airplane bathroom... your apartment... Look, I don't know, call me crazy, but it just doesn't feel like pretend."

Remember I said this episode was heartbreaking? Here's why...

Lucy thinks Tim is calling her out on her feelings for him.

Tim thinks there's something between them and he wants to know if she has feelings for him.

And because Lucy feels caught... she deflects.

"It's an intimate act. We'd have to be dead inside for it to not trigger something, right? It's basic biology."

Tim Bradford took a leap... and then he took a fall. And it kills me every time to watch his face as he takes the rejection. Lucy doesn't want me.

Oh, poor Tim Bradford. He's been rejected over and over by people in his life. So often, he's the one who finds himself broken because nobody sticks around for him. Nobody puts in the effort for him.

It doesn't take a traumatic childhood to make a person feel unworthy of love, but Tim has that and more.

And Lucy doesn't even know how he feels. She has no idea. This was a speech uttered to cover her own growing feelings. But the unintended consequence is that she hurts Tim.

"So you're saying it's not a big deal. Doesn't mean anything." "Right?"

It's a confirmation of what Angela told him at the beginning... Lucy doesn't want me.

And it's not that his whole life was hitched on this notion, but it's yet another rejection in a long, long string of rejections. And Lucy doesn't even know that's what she's done.

The phone rings, deflecting the conversation, and a dejected Tim picks up.

"I'm just alone with Lucy in the hotel room" "Uh-oh."

Literally the last thing he needs to hear right now. But, Angela doesn't know he was just struck down. She's all for some Chenford Sexy Time.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Tim slams the phone down faster than the remote when the Rams toss an interception. Lucy rushes back to the bathroom, and the moment she goes, Tim shakes his head. It hurts.

Tim took a leap. And Tim fell. And now Tim has to add it to his layers of scars.

"Remind me not to take a guy out while I'm wearing a robe. I showed him the entire world right now."

First off, I love that Tim was the damsel in distress in this scene that needed Lucy's rescuing. Second, I believe this is when she starts to think there's something physical between them.

Let's be clear. Lucy has feelings for Tim, but she doesn't think Tim has feelings for her. She thinks he's attracted to her, though. I mean, look how she watches him as he shakes his head. And while feelings are tough for Lucy (more than she'll admit), sex is easy.

"I can nott wait to get out of these clothes." "Yeah. I'm not gonna miss that hair." "I kind of like yours." "Thank you... thank you for walking me up." "No problem."

Let's be honest... Tim is walking Lucy up because he knows as soon as he walks away, they won't have the excuse to be this close together, again. And even though she rejected him (in his mind), he wants to be close to her.

"So, I guess this is it. Tomorrow we are back to being us." "Right. And everything that happened undercover, we will just leave behind." "Right. What happens undercover stays undercover."

I'd shake my head at Tim's comment, but the boy's doing a good job shaking his head at himself. "Why did I say that?" Lucy, however, is ready to test a theory... about Tim's attraction to her.

"You know, in a sense, since we haven't been debriefed, we're still undercover." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Tim doesn't know where she's going, but Lucy offers a pointed glance at her apartment door. Tim doesn't bite.

Why? Because he's ruled it out as a possibility. He doesn't believe there is any scenario where this is really happening. She already rejected him, right?

Lucy registers his lack of comprehension, though she doesn't realize the reason.

"Do you want to come in?"

Tim is flabbergasted. He doesn't believe what he's hearing, and that man literally short circuits at the realization that this moment is happening. Heck, I was short-circuiting. I thought the fans were making something up when they started tweeting about him accepting an invite to go inside.

Like, is this happening!?

Tim cycles through shock, acceptance, fear, and ultimately lands on right and wrong. He is dating Ashley. And he's not a cheat.

"I shouldn't."

It's not that he doesn't want to. But for so many reasons, he shouldn't go in. Lucy nods, accepting his answer. For her, this isn't a personal rejection (because she doesn't even think that's on the table). It's a sexual rejection, and that's fine.

But as she opens her door and walks in, the light from the door strikes Tim's face. When he looks back, he sees light... and Lucy.

And much as he wants the full relationship... this is what she is offering here and now. And who knows if he'll ever have the chance to be with her, again?

There are no thoughts of Chris and Ashley, right now. The two of them are looking at one another—Lucy on one side of the threshold and Tim on the other—and they are considering this moment and nothing further.

So twice in one episode... Tim Bradford takes a leap.

He crosses the threshold into her apartment, and she closes the door, sealing them in. Tim's eyes wander to Lucy, hesitancy rushing through him. "Should I start? Will she start?"

Lucy has twice jumped the man, but even in her state of wanting him more than thinking about right-and-wrong, she offers him a drink.

"I'm good."

Because up until this point, he thought this was impossible. And now that it is possible, he wants to be completely clear-headed so he doesn't misinterpret anything.

Lucy moves to set her purse down and we finally see... Chris. Lucy opens her mouth as Tim looks to the sky and curses it for this f'ed up situation... only for Lucy to realize Chris is bleeding out.

Tim calls it in without hesitation, and the last thing we see is a terrified Lucy calling out to her greatest comfort (even if she's too scared to admit it)—Tim.

Looking into the Future (since this is a REWIND Meta)

Now... am I glad they didn't start their relationship like this? Hell, yeah. I love that they had the time to step back from this and get to a point where they realized they both wanted it all.

It's not about sex. Yes, that's a part of it. But, this is about two souls crying out for one another and not yet speaking the same language.

They've spent years learning, but that type of love is a lifelong pursuit... and you have to get on the same page, first.

Lucy and Tim aren't there, yet, in this episode. Yes, this episode pushes them closer to one another and those moments to come. It's essential to the development of their relationship. It's another step on their path...

As always, thanks for reading (and persuading me to do this... I do love writing Metas and Chenford make it easy!). Hope to see you on the next!

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 172/332

2016 Spanish GP

(Hindsight note : ooooh boy.)

Okay round 5. So far not so good for Lewis. Can’t believe he hasn’t won once yet.

Oh ho, but this time around he's on pole! For some reason it's Will Buxton on the drivers truck and he asks if he likes to keep to himself before a race. Lewis says he's just here to do one thing. It's a great feeling being back on pole. He's grateful for the team working so hard and he hopes he can convert it. At some point he also interrupted the interview to wave to a little girl in the crowd. 

Anyway the top 10 spots of the grid go as such : Lewis, Nico, Ricciardo, Verstappen oh wait. Oh. Verstappen has been promoted to RedBull. Mhmh. Anyway. Raikkonen, Seb, Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Alonso. 

Apparently Nico was quick to point out Lewis hasn't had the best starts this year so. I guess he's not too happy about Lewis being ahead of him on that grid. Max is veeery confident and relaxed about being in a RedBull obviously. Remember when I talked about his debuts VS Lewis' at the end of the 2015 season? It resonates. And everybody is excited for the merc fight. 

On the other hand I'm not a Kvyat fan obvi but the way he didn't see the blow coming is kinda pitiful. Of course they set up the press conference so he'd be sitting next to Max. Of course it has factually nothing to do with it but you could write fics about Kvyat colliding with Seb in two races, Seb going to Horner to complain, and Kvyat getting suddenly sacked before the next race comes. 

Anyway. Time for the race. Formation lap.

And they're racing! 

Lewis keeps the lead but Nico is close and aggressive. And he overtakes him! Easily! Meanwhile Seb is ahead of Max in P4 but Max overtakes him back shortly after. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. OHHHHH. MYYYYY. GOOOOOD. 

Listen. 

I knew it was coming. 

But still. 

I'm just. Rewinding and watching it over and over again. Right at the exit of the corner, we’re facing the cars. Lewis is trying to take the inside of Nico, but Nico defends. Aggressively. Until Lewis is on the grass.

You can tell he was flooring it. The car bounces rapidly and goes sideways. Right into Nico.

Taking them both out into the gravel trap on the other side of the next corner.

As his car comes to a stop, Lewis is hiding his face behind his hands. And that’s it. That’s the end of the race for them both. On the replays, we see Lewis throwing away his steering wheel. 

As the safety car comes in, we start lap 4 with the following order : Ricciardo, Verstappen, Sainz, Seb, Raikkonen, Valtteri, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, Grosjean. 

Niki calls it completely unnecessary, a disaster, and unacceptable. He takes Nico's side, when pushed. Lewis was too aggressive, and why should Nico have given him room, he was in the lead? He says he blames Lewis more than Nico. Crofty agrees with Niki, Brundle doesn't. 

Meanwhile nothing has happened but now Seb attacks Sainz for P3 and overtakes him. Of course. Raikkonen tries to follow him a bit later but he has to cut a corner and can't make it. 

It's lap 10. Ricciardo, Verstappen, Seb, Raikkonen, Sainz, Valtteri, Jenson, Alonso, Grosjean, Hulkenberg. Ricciardo pits. It's honestly boring and it's not even because the Mercs aren't there. There's just nothing happening. We watch Lewis and Nico make it into the Merc paddock with their helmets still on. That's not gonna be a good time. Verstappen pits. Anthony Davidson has reviewed the start and agrees with Brundle that Nico is more at fault. He says Nico moved without looking to the inside and was "all over his steering wheel". Now we see Paddy and Toto get up the stairs as well. Seb pits. Niki is heading to the yelling room as well. Brundle is saying he thinks it's a defining moment like it's not fucking glaringly obvious. 

In the meantime it's lap 20 and things are getting more complicated than I initially thought. Ricciardo is still in the lead ahead of Max and Seb, but Seb is closing quickly on the RedBulls. He's only a second away. Behind them it's Raikkonen, about 5 seconds down, then Valtteri, 7 seconds further, Sainz, Perez, Jenson, Alonso and Massa. And Hulkenberg reports a smoking engine. He's told to stop near a fire marshal. And so he does. 

Toto Wolff is out of the office. And apparently, Crofty now reports, the big boss of Mercedes confirmed to a magazine that Nico would stay with them in 2017……….. Jesus. This whole race. I'm screaming. Toto speaks to the press. He says they spoke with both drivers and it's not clear cut. It's difficult because they lost 43 points after putting in so much work in the last couple of weeks. He says they let their drivers race and sometimes it happens. The stewards will make their own decision, but from their point of view it's not one specific driver's fault. Ted is always sharp : "Niki was blaming Lewis though, Toto." Toto says Niki is speaking from his driver's perspective and his instinct. How's the mood between the drivers? Everybody is bringing up Spa 2014. Toto reiterates it's a difficult situation and they're both upset. They'll need to talk to them again and look at the images and the data to make sure it doesn't happen again. 

Back to the race, Max is closing on Ricciardo now. Ricciardo pits. He's out in P4. Seb pits, while Max stays out, which makes him the youngest driver to ever lead a race. 

It's lap 30. Max in the lead then, followed by Raikkonen, Ricciardo, Seb, Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Jenson, Alonso, and idk who's P10 because someone pits and I can't see the rest. We're halfway through the race. Seb is closing on Ricciardo. Verstappen pits. He's out in P4, behind Seb. Then Raikkonen pits. Oh… And Seb? No. They're going back in. We thought for a moment they might pit Seb again. Oh he does! He does! Huh. Daring strategy. He only did 8 laps on his tyres. He's out in P4, behind Raikkonen. Ted thinks it doesn't make sense. 

It's lap 40. Daniel is back in the lead, followed by Max, who's 10 seconds behind, then Raikkonen, 2.3 behind. And Seb, 5.7 behind but on faster new tyres at this point. Behind them it's Valtteri, Massa, Alonso, Sainz, Perez and Gutierrez in the points. Valtteri pits. Massa pits. Ricciardo pits. Careful now… He's out in P4. Can Ferrari win this on strategy? That would be unheard of… 

20 laps to go. Raikkonen is not far from Max. Oh and Alonso is out. He's stopped by the side, reporting a loss of power. Oh and Ricciardo is closing very very fast on Seb… And Raikkonen has DRS over Max! It's lap 50, Max is in the lead for now, just ahead of Raikkonen, 8 seconds safe from Seb, Ricciardo now 2 seconds away from the podium. Valtteri is still P5, ahead of Sainz, Perez, Gutierrez, Kvyat, and Massa. Raikkonen can't seem to make it past Max. He gets close but not close enough. But he gets closer and closer every lap. And Ricciardo gets DRS over Seb! Seb gained 2 seconds on Raikkonen as well. On top of it, lapped Kvyat is essentially on Ricciardo's heels as well.

10 laps to go. Ricciardo is now half a second away from Seb. It's tense! OH MY GOD HE ATTACKS HE ALMOST TOUCHED HIM BUT HE'S GOING TOO FAST AND HE HAS TO GO WIDE AND REJOIN. Seb keeps position! Seb is yelling on radio again. Grosjean retires but who cares. It's lap 60. Max, Raikkonen +0.7, Seb +5.4, Ricciardo +0.5. Then Valtteri, Sainz, Perez, Massa, Gutierrez and Jenson. Ricciardo tries again but locks up. 

5 laps to go. Seb is still closing on Raikkonen. Oh no! Seb made a mistake and Ricciardo is right on him while they're stuck in traffic! But Seb gets away and gets ahead of the backmarker that slows Ricciardo down a bit. BUT HE ATTACKS AGAIN! But it still doesn't work. And Kvyat is looking at him as well. Finally Ricciardo lets him ahead. It's true he's also fighting for points, being P10. It looks like team orders, the commentators say, but then Daniel is slow… He has a puncture! 

It's the end of the race! 

Max is the youngest GP winner in history! He wins ahead of Raikkonen and Seb! 

In the cool down room, he's just a boy. Raikkonen shakes his hand, touches his shoulder. "Congratulations," he says. "Thank you," Max answers with a humble voice. Seb's isn't that solemn, they lock hands, he hugs him. Max chuckles. They're speaking German, unfortunately. All of them.

Seriously. Max on the podium. It's a CHILD. It's almost shocking. 

Listen before we get into the post race. There's so many Narratives™ moments here :

Obviously the Nico-Lewis situation : how it happened just as Lewis is on pole again after it was Nico twice and Lewis had such bad races? Also the whole thing about Toto switching the mechanics around! 

The fact that Kvyat rammed into Seb 3 times in 2 races, and then golden boy Seb went to daddy horner to complain, and Kvyat was sacked? Yeah yeah it's supposedly not related but you know? 

The fact that Max's first podium was a win. The fact it happened when Lewis and Nico took each other out. The fact it happened during his first grown up race aka first race in RedBull. 

The fact that he overpowered Daniel in his first race. And symbolically I mean. He got there and Daniel got a puncture. 

The fact that he stood on the podium with OG golden boy Seb as Akira calls him. Insane. The fact that Daniel thought he'd be the new Seb and then Max arrived and stood on that podium with Seb and he wasn't there! 

Oh my god. So Daniel is unhappy obvi and then we cut from his interview straight to Jos and Horner and they talk about max max max and then Horner says like an afterthought it's a shame for RiCHIardo like. He forgot his name. 

We're told Lewis and Nico won't talk to the media until they're done with the stewards. In the meantime, Anthony Davidson talks us through the start, step by step. Nico gets the better start. He gets the slipstream and goes around the outside and takes the lead. But then, Anthony claims, something goes wrong. He shows us from Lewis on-board Nico's red light flashing : harvesting mode. On Nico's on-board, we see him fidgeting with the steering wheel, in answer to the light being on. When he looks in the mirror to see where Lewis is, he's already making his move, front wheels next to his rear wheels. He's still going towards the right side of the track and that's how Lewis ends up on the grass. From Anthony's point of view, by the time he starts closing the space on Lewis, it's too late. From Daniel's on-board, we can see that Lewis' car isn't on harvest mode, as there's no red light flashing. That's why Lewis was able to come up on him so fast. Anthony thinks Lewis reacted to the red light. He hadn't planned to try a move at that point but he saw the light, knew that meant Nico would be slower, and went for it at the last second. Indeed when you look at it from the start, Lewis was holding the outside line, nice and smooth, and made the move towards the inside when he saw the light and then the gap. He didn't make a move towards the outside, he was just holding the line, and when the moment came to choose, he went for the inside. But by the time he catches up with Nico, there's already nowhere to go anymore, and his front right is on the grass. 

But as Anthony points out, the question then is : why was Nico's car harvesting energy right then and there, and Lewis' wasn't? I like him because he's thorough. He went back to Russia and looked at the ANGLE at which the strategy mode wheels (like, the knobs on the steering wheels) were set on both cars. That's my type of nosy. Lewis' is pointing to the right and Nico's to the left. What it shows is that they aren't in the same modes. And Nico's might be wrong. Remember that at that point, the engineers aren't allowed to tell them what mode to use for the start anymore. The driver has to do that on his own. Then right here in Spain, it's the opposite : Lewis' is pointing to the left and Nico's to the right. That's what Nico was changing while he was fidgeting with the steering wheel. Afterwards, it's pointing at the same angle as Lewis'. Anthony thinks he was distracted and lost spatial awareness. 

I just wanna suggest something while I’m at it. The modes seem to be related to the starting position rather than being a mistake on Nico's part. Both in Russia and Spain, the driver on pole had his wheel pointing towards the left. The one chasing had his wheel pointing towards the right. If I were to talk a wild guess given I'm not quite sure that's how it works, I'd say the one chasing is using the additional power from the battery at the start to try to keep up with the one on pole. That's what allowed Nico to overtake Lewis. But then the battery is drained so the car goes into harvesting mode, and because Nico then was ahead, he had to change back to something that didn't reduce his speed too much, aka the mode that the one on pole is usually using? Anyway that doesn't change anything to the incident itself and it’s just a hypothesis from me.

We see from replays how they avoided each other and didn't talk in the gravel trap, and the stern faces in the garage. We can also see Niki and Spinz talking in a corner of the pitlane. Hill emits a similar hypothesis to mine, that Nico's initial mode was intended for chasing and he didn't expect to find himself ahead of Lewis and that's why he had to switch it. He also points out that if that's the case and he knows he's having issues at that point with his mode, then he's in no position to defend the way he did. We hear what Niki and Toto had to say about it earlier again. 

The commentators are reading articles from the regs trying to speculate what the outcome is gonna be. During Jenson's interview we see Nico heading to the stewards. 

There's rumours as well about Lewis taking a sabbatical during the next year. That Lewis denied obviously but why would they listen to him right? 

Sir Jackie Stewart thinks Lewis was too hot headed and could have waited to make his move. Brundle thinks it was motivated by the anger of being overtaken first. I think the move only looks hot headed because as he was doing it Nico unexpectedly closed the door on him. I do also think Lewis took the chance because he wouldn't let Nico be ahead of him one more corner than necessary. 

Now we see images of Lewis going to the stewards as well. 

In the meantime we hear Max reminding the journalists that Raikkonen raced with his father lol. Crazy tbh. 

During Ted's notebook, there's a ribbon at the bottom of the screen like these breaking news type things saying Nico and Lewis are still with the stewards. Also Ted says in the press con Max was asked what he owed his success to, and he apparently said "between the ages of 4 to 16, really my dad" and Seb asked what about from 0 to 4 and he answered "well my mom, obviously" which is kinda cute tbh. 

And as we watch Max take photos with his team, we hear the stewards made their decision : no penalties. Which. They really decided they didn't wanna touch that hornets’ nest with a ten foot pole. More seriously it really was difficult to decide who was at fault there. Just like everything else between them it just seems like the unavoidable result of a hundred small mundane things. 

But here's Lewis. He apologises to the team. The entire team. He says his heart sank thinking about them when he stopped. He got a good start, got overtaken, coming through turn 3 he saw Nico was in the wrong engine mode as we thought, he lost 180 brake horsepower (don't ask me what that is).

He says Nico wasn't exactly on the race line but one step to the right of it so the gap to the left was smaller than the one to the right  "There was a gap there and as a racing driver when you're going 17k (?) faster you go for the gap, which I did." big inhale

"I got my wing and wheel alongside but I had to avoid collision." The journalist tells him about Anthony's on-board analysis and Nico correcting his mode mistake and not looking where he was until it was too late. "So do you lay any blame anywhere?" Another, shorter inhale. He looks away. He shrugs and shakes his head slightly. "I'm not gonna get into it," he smiles.

"As I said huge apologies to the team I'm just gonna try and move forward and try and uh… Let the team know that I'll do everything again to make sure it doesn't happen again." She says he had a good weekend until then does he feel good going into Monaco? (Oh no… Next GP is Monaco :( ) He says naturally he can't feel good right now, but they'll recover. She asks about Max as well. Big congratulations, he answers decisively. "Amazing drive, didn't make any mistake while he was in the lead. Hat off to him. He had an opportunity and grabbed it with both hands and that's what we all should do."

Pretty crazy how much he's grown since Belgium 2014. Didn't see that coming tbh. However his explanation makes no sense because if Nico was one step to the right from the racing line that would put him closer to the right than usual and that would leave LESS space to the right than the left, as opposed to what he said?

Nico denies he was distracted. He says he was aware of the situation. He saw Lewis coming and went for the "usual racing driver action of closing the inside line", "as early as he could". He says he was very surprised to see him go for the gap anyway. (Uh? He was going for the gap before you started closing my guy? Like I agree the blame is shared for sure but you're not using the correct arguments to defend yourself there.) About the stewards ruling it a racing incident he says "you know, we have to accept like that" which makes me think he thought it wasn't a racing incident which I believe is bold because I'm pretty sure he'd have received the penalty if there had been one but hey. He says overall he's just extremely gutted, "it was my race to win out there–" then he corrects himself "OUR race to win, for all of us, I'm very very gutted also for all my colleagues," he adds to the camera, "all of you watching, I'm well aware of all the work, all the hard work that you've put into these two cars and for us to end in the sand trap like that is, that's as bad as it gets." The journalist smartly picks up on the fact he doesn't seem to agree with the stewards. (He's managed this in a less clever way than Lewis did this time.) She asks if he wasn't in the wrong mode and not doing something with the steering wheel, and he saw Lewis with plenty of time? "Uh, the stewards' decision uh, is the stewards decision," he says with his usual flat tone. "And we will just leave it at that, that's the verdict." He says he was definitely in the incorrect mode. They still need to figure out why that was the case. She says Lewis said there was more space to the right so he went for it because he had more power, "you lay the blame to his door basically." (He really set the trap for himself in this interview. I'm surprised. I feel like all this time he's usually been more able to control his emotions than Lewis in these interviews but he's derailing now.) Pause. "I didn't say that." He's annoyed. He's studying her face, frowning, his own face closed up. "So what are you saying, that it was a racing incident, from your point of view?" Pause. He's so annoyed. "I'm saying that I will go with the verdict of the stewards." He lightens his tone towards the end of the sentence. But it's too late. Lewis won this one. She says he still has a 43 points advantage over Lewis going to Monaco so it could have been worse. He says he's not thinking about that, he came to win, he was ecstatic about overtaking Lewis who was on pole and he's gutted. She asks how his relationship to Lewis is now. "Same as usual." No hint of any change in his face or tone. 

[jayphoenic]

Hero Deku Ao3 Fanfic Recommendations

Deku? I think he's some pro... by Clouds (myheadinthecoudsnotcomingdown)

Chapters: 94/94

Yagi Toshinori watched the green haired boy walk away after saving his friend and shook his head. While the boy's actions were heroic, he was just too reckless. He walked in the opposite direction, thinking about a time he could meet the candidate Sir Nighteye put forward.

Izuku Midoriya goes home and decides that, even if he can't be hero himself, he can still help them with his analysis. Cue Izuku catching the attention of multiple heroes who are a little more open-minded and willing to see the potential in a quirkless kid.

Clipped Wings (Don't Worry, They'll Grow Back) by Present_Mom

Chapters: 5/?

Izuku was Quirkless before gaining One for All. He was 100% sure of this fact.

Yeah, there were twin scars on his back, but they've always been there, a freak accident right after his birth. Yeah, his fingernails and toenails grew too sharp sometimes, but his mom was quick to cut them before he hurt anyone!

Izuku was 100% Quirkless.

Until he gets hit by a quirk at the USJ. Usually, the quirk rewinds a person back to their infant state for a minute. That's it.

So why does he have wings now!?

The Fae Prince by ThaliasRuin (XanderLee), XanderLee

Chapters: 16/?

Midoria Izuku may have a quirk but that doesn’t mean he’s not useless, not to Bakugou at least. Until an almost accident causes an unexpected evolution of his quirk which causes the hierarchy to be flipped completely. After all, how many people can heal from death?

UA and the Hero industry don’t know what’s coming.

Beyond the Broken Horizon by JoWithTheFlow

Chapters: 43/?

About a week after that, All Might asked Izuku if he was aiming for the hero course at UA. The question was so sudden that Izuku nearly dropped a microwave on his toes.

The truth was, if All Might had asked him that a week ago, there would have only been one possible answer to that question. All Might had gone to UA, UA was the best, so Izuku was going to go there too, if he could. But things were a little different, now that he was going to receive All Might’s Quirk.

“No,” he said, decisively.

All Might looked caught off guard, which was a very rare expression on him. “No?” he echoed, like he couldn’t believe it.

A laugh bubbled out of Izuku’s throat. He honestly couldn’t believe it either. “No,” he repeated.

___

Or, All Might tells Izuku about All for One before he gives him One for All, and everything changes.

Apex Predator by silver jackdaw (cizzi)

Chapters: 40/?

Every single school had one: someone at the top of the food chain. An acme. Someone who could do things under a teacher's nose, escape consequences, and terrify other people. Someone who looked down on everyone else like they were prey. An apex predator. And Izuku couldn't count on teachers and adults to protect anyone. Even a hero school wasn't safe from the phenomena. When Izuku gets to Yuuei, he's determined to find out who it is and ensure they can't hurt him or his new friends.

...and accidentally, in the process, becomes the apex predator (though he is mostly unaware of this, and uses it for good. But still, people are terrified of him.)

Taglist:

@appreciate-writers-blog @virgil-is-a-cutie @iamablinkmarvelarmy @jellyfishpalace @lonestarfangirl2014 @s-undus-t @mc-glare-is-king @yourmom1738 @ladykristianna @valiantpeanutbearperson @dditzy @sakusakuya @actualnarislayer @cawcaw-bitch @solar-prestige @mirukosimp63 @w-e-chard @myshallweplay @iamablinkmarvelarmy @underworldsecret @m3liora

[geckosquid]

Finished Ghost Trick! Man, the end was really plot twist after plot twist, huh.

Here are my notes for chapters 15-18

Strap in, this is going to be a long one and I don’t know how to add a read more on mobile.

I was correct. The body is just a puppet for the manipulator’s soul.

It is the body of the main character from the beginning of the game, there aren’t two of them. So why are there two souls?

Damn these puzzles are getting hard. I really don’t like to do things in the last second.

Missile was the real MVP of these last two levels. Best doggo.

The manipulator had the powers of manipulation before he died?

Cabenera climbed the organizational ladder to make sure he could funnel all their reseach into the case of the manipulator? So he did care, this whole time…

The bird man used to be a medical examiner, that’s how he was able to tell the blue guy was a fraud.

What do you mean you couldn’t perform the autopsy?

What the fuck is Sissel’s body made of?! The assassin was angrily mocking cabenera about being in in pain because the explosion broke his ribs. Sissel mentions that the assassin didn’t feel anything when he slammed his fist on the stove, which should have burned him. Implying that he can’t feel anything because he’s dead.

The fuck did that meteorite do to him?!

Allowed him to control the bodies of living people, apparently.

Joud gets his detective coat back! All detectives need to have a cool coat.

Oh shit it’s almost 5:00am…

Here we go! Time to confront the “Other Sissel”

The bullet the “Other Sissel” was shot with wasn’t to see if he could kill him, it was to put a radio transmitter in the body so they could find where the sub was! So clever! The receiver was in the POCKET WATCH!

I FUCKING TOLD YOU THE POCKET WATCH WAS IMPORTANT!!

The meteorite fragment was still lodged in Sissel’s body? They stole it from him? What’s the blue people want with it?

Oh shit I think the room ejected and exploded. With the detective in it.

LYNNE WHY YOU ALWAYS DYING, WHY YOU ALWAYS DYING? STOP FUCKING DYING!

Oh shit the other sissel is controlling Kamilla!

Of course your revenge plan has failed! Sissel has been working hard all night to un-kill all the people you have killed!

I don’t understand revenge either, Sissel. I’m still confused. It looks like the Sissel who’s the main character and the Sissel who’s the antagonist came from the same person, but are different souls. How did that happen?

You’re right Lynne, stealing the meteorite is cheating.

Stupid rat, get out of the way!

You guys can’t swim! At a time like this?!

Who is this? What was that mechanical arm?

is it other Sissel?

He knows about protaganist Sissel?

He turned back into a wisp… but now we finally get the answers to everything.

The meteorite gives people power and time, huh. That’s why he didn’t disappear after it killed him. And why Sissel can rewind time.

So the meteorite killed him, but due to its power, stuck his body in limbo between life and death. It’s physically dead, that’s why he can’t feel anything, like the hot stovetop or the explosion. There’s no nerve endings anymore for him to feel pain.

The meteorite gives the ghost powers, huh. Neat.

That’s not the whole story though. If both of you aren’t called “Sissel” what’s your name?

Yeah, where is Joud?

The end of this game is gonna make me cry, isn’t it. Because the characters who are dead will have to disappear and leave the others behind.

The person we thought was Sissel the whole game…his name is Yominel. Yominel was a computer engineer. And that’s how he got caught up in this mess.

That blue hunk is a robot?!

So now that the meteor fragment was removed, we can go back in time and prevent Yominel’s death from happening and setting off this whole chain of events in the first place.

But that doesn’t change the fact that we don’t know who Sissel is or where he came from. Or who the lamp and the cat from the first chapter are.

Wait, there’s the cat again. IS SISSEL’S TRUE IDENTITY THAT BLACK CAT?!

We stopped the meteorite, the bullet, but in the end Yominel was still impaled in the back.

HE’S STILL ALIVE?!

So he posesses his own body, in the past, to save Lynne. He’s still alive after being crushed by the statue!?

Aw, Joud gives her a little detective badge. So she becomes a detective in the future anyway.

Oh Sissel was the cat! This whole time!

And by saving yominel, we have prevented the deaths of everyone in the future, including his fiancé, who Sissel was named after, and fixed the timeline!

But yominel and sissel won’t know each other anymore. I don’t like when characters who are interconnected have fate overwritten so it never happens.

THE LAMP?! Do we get to find out who the lamp was?! Was it one of the main characters from a bad end timeline?

Yep. It is. The timeline where everyone dies because Sissel was not there to save them.

The lamp is Missile from the bad timeline? Aw, Missile from that timeline looks scruffy and old. And in the bad timeline, Sissel was the desk lamp.

BAD TIMELINE MISSILE, YOU SNEAKY DOG! We had thought the whole time that Sissel would disappear when dawn came and you’re telling us now YOU MADE IT UP?! And you kept up with Sissel’s assumption he was human because it was the only way to change the timeline for the better.

In the new present we get the birthday scene again, but it works right this time, and Lynne is there! Sissel is ten years old but still a kitten, huh. So the meteor still got lodged in his body somehow. They even kept the same name!

Yominel was the painter in jail this time, and he got out after 10 years and is wife was waiting for him!

I must say, this game ended way better than I was expecting I thought we would have to say goodbye to Sissel at the end when his time was up. But damn he really saved everyone.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Brians mom/sister scene is now up ‘OH FUCK YOU BITCH! Sidenote: he looks really fucking good. His life might be falling a part but he still looks good. Respect. Oh no, his stupid mom. Oh fuck you too. What kind of family is this? This is horrible, no wonder he is fucked up on drugs and alcohol and fucking everyon- actually nevermind that last one could just be a preference, fuck, this man would’ve died in 2020 lockdown. Wait, I’m getting distracted. Oh no this is hurting me. *pauses tv* DID YOU SEE THAT HESITATION! You could tell he was about to tell her off but he had to fully push himself to say fuck you to her because he’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. And him only. Oh and my boy Elliot. This guy did not have to act this much in this scene because this all HURT’ (i have no clue who Elliot is btw when i asked he just went ‘oh you know *smacked his fist to his chest* my boy’) ‘SEE TED AND BRIAN HAVE POTENTIAL! Oh teddy, he is in love how do you not know!’ He is now sitting with crossed fingers and looking up in the ceiling ‘please no Ethan, please no Ethan. OH MY GOD! OH MY! Ha, a friend of his uncles..good one Justin, don’t you mean the love of his life? DID THE KID JUST SAY THE F BOMB AGAIN?! PUNCH HIM JUSTIN. HE WOULDVE PAYED HIM! SEE! EVEN NOW HE KNOWS THAT BRIAN IS THE BEST. *pauses tv again* JUSTIN WENT TO GET THE KID TO ADMIT HES LYING?! How are you gonna do that and then look me in the face and say you don’t care for him? HOW DARE HE WEAR HIS BRACELET! Justin, BEAT HIS ASS! It is your time to start throwing punches!’ ‘JUSTIN! CARL! DEBBIE!!! HE SAW THE BRACELET AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO CARL!!! Of course Justin would know it has Brian’s initials and where he bought it! Totally normal. EXACTLY DEBBIE SHAME ON THEM! Now say that to his mom next! Aw he gave Justin the bracelet, i have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet’ ‘oh for fucks sake they’re actually gonna have a kid together? SPERM BANK! The kid can always find out who the dad is later in life. This is a recipe for disaster’ ‘HE IS SHOOTING UP! OH MY GOD DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY!’ Anyway thee Britin scene is up! ‘AHHHHHH he took the bracelet back to him! LOOK HOW BRIAN IS LOOKING AT HIM! HE MISSES HIM! HE LOVES HIM. Makes me wonder how many times Justin tied up the bracelet for him *pauses tv and starts waving his hands around Britin* you see this? DO. YOU. SEE. THIS? THAT! Is called tension. *says it so that he basically pronounces every letter* SEXUAL TENSION! *hits play* They are about to fuck! Brian is gonna slam him into that wall and they are gon- BRIAN NO! WHY WOULD YOU REMIND HIM OF THE EXISTENCE OF THE ONE PERSON NOBODY WANTS TO BE REMINDED OF?! Even Justin looked disappointed at the reminder! This is pure bullsh- did he just toss the bracelet? *rewinds* HE DID! LOOK *rewinds it again while point at the tv* so hold the fuck up. You’re telling me, he stood there and let Justin tie a bracelet on his wrist only for him to take it off and toss it the second Blondie left and i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch? Just so that he could have him for one more second? BUT WHY TAKE IT OFF? Is he mad that he reminded him of *makes a face like he just smelled rotten eggs* him? Or is he just not feeling it right now?’ Now usually he would go outside after an episode but he is on a time crunch so he immediately went to ep 5. He has physical therapy today and I’m honestly scared that it was a bad idea to watch this before he went.

He’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. I am sobbing right now, he totally gets Brian.

I have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet. LOL so true.

DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY. DYINGGGGGGG.

The sexual tension of that scene is so thick it can only be cut with a knife.

i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch - MMHMM. EXACTLY.

(Saying a prayer for his PT…)

[redheadjustin]

STAR WARS: SAVING THE CHOSEN ONE

Please note I have messed with the timeline a bit. Pong Krell was executed in season 5 of Star wars: the clone wars. Please understand that any changes are so I better interact with the universe.

  The force watched in despair. The planet was devastated from the battle between the two force users. Rocks with marks from lightsabers layed scattered from being hurled as weapons to distract the opponent and create an opening. Finally, the blue lightsaber of the graying redhead struck across the helmet of the sith. The redhead man, once known as Obi-Wan Kenobi, was shocked yet relieved to see the burnt and scar face of his Former padawan. The sith that was on his knees struggling to breathe was sith lord Darth Vader or as he was known years ago, Anakin Skywalker Jedi knight, the hero with no fear, the hero of tomorrow, chosen one who was supposed to destroy the sith and bring balance to the force.

The force itself watched, saddened by the turn of events that occurred years ago that the force was powerless to stop. The force watched as Palpatine killed Kit Fisto and two other members of the Jedi consul. It watched as Mace Windu and Papatine dueled until the Jedi had the sith down for the count until Anakin came and chopped Mace’s hand off thus allowing the sith to kill the Jedi. The force watched as Anakin was forced to join the sith to save his wife. It watches as the sith issued order sixty six and began the Jedi purge.

The force watched as the chosen one lost the duel with his former master. And it watched as Anakin Skywalker lost his wife and his unborn child. It watched as Padme Amadalia died of a broken heart after she gave birth to the twins Luke and Leah Skywalkwer. It watched as the twins were separated and the remaining Jedi went into hiding. But, the force always focused on the former chosen one. Yes, Qui-Gon Jinn had been right all those years ago. And the force was saddened by how far Anakin had fallen. The force could have intervened at any time it wanted to but it held out hope that Anakin would turn back to the light. But, those hopes never came to fruition.

The force watched with regret as Obi-Wan walked to his former padawan and brother. The blue blade of the lightsaber that Anakin knew so well raised above him and the fallen Jedi knew it was the end. He looked deep into Obi-Wan’s eyes, this caught the old Jedi off guard. The former Jedi had a sad smile on his burnt lips. “I’m sorry Obi-Wan. I’m sorry for everything. Go ahead, it’s okay master. I’ll see Padme again.” as he spoke the sith’s eyes reverted back to their blue color. The red haired Jedi smiled back just as sadly tears forming in his aged eyes. “You’re forgiven my padawan.” The emotion in Obi-Wan’s voice was thick as he began to bring the saber down.

The force decided enough was enough and froze time around the galaxy. The blue blade froze as did everything else. The force knew Anakin was the only one who COULD end Palpitine’s rineg of terror and bring balance. But, it was too late. The second the force unfroze time the blade would go down on Anakin’s neck, killing him. The force knew that even if it could intervene here it wouldn’t matter. Anakin was more machine than man now and would be no match to Darth Sidious. The force knew the only option was to change history to prevent the fall of the republic. But, then the question was how to keep Anakin from falling. The force pondered this until it recalled another of its favorites. A young human boy that was a Jedi at the time. He was a Padawan without a master at the time. Ah yes, the force recalled young sixteen year old Justin Bush. a very talented Jedi but he fell as well. Now he wasn’t known as Justin Bush but rather as the first brother. The more the force thought of it it made sense. Rewind time and send a message to Yoda to assign Justin as Anakin’s first padawan left the Jedi order thus perhaps stopping Anakin’s fall to the darkside. The force smiled as it watched as time started to rewind. This could save the galaxy and give happiness to two who deserved it the most.

21 BBY (season 5 of Star wars the clone wars) Justin POV

I sighed as I stared into the mirror of the fresher in my room that was in the apartment I share with my Master, Pong Krell. I did not like what I saw in the mirror. Not one bit. Bruises, marks, cuts and scars were what met my brown eyes. All of which were inflicted by my “master”. My skin was more scared than what it should be for a fourteen year old that hasn't seen a day of this war. It was the same thing since I was assigned to Master Krell when I was thirteen. A year ago. A year of abuse and harsh training. Master Krell was one of the prominent generals in the clone wars yet, he never took me into battle. He always cited my autism. But I knew that was a bunch of bantha shit. He just didn’t want to risk anyone finding out about my abuse. I used to wear sleeveless robes that showed my toned, freckled arms. But now I wear sleeves to hide the cuts and marks. I hardly talked to any of my friends anymore. Well, except Cal. Cal is like a little brother and has yet to find a master despite him being the best of his group.

I eat alone. I train alone. I study alone. I am alone. My Master has isolated me from the rest of the Jedi order. I feel an anger bubble up in my very being as I can’t take my eyes off of my body. The only part that remains undamaged is my face. Well, on the outside. But, no one can deny how my eyes are more heavy, having lost their shine long ago. I wanted to punch the mirror that showed me what I’d become. A shell of a padawan who was too scared to reveal his abuse to the Jedi counsel. I was glad my “master” had gone on a mission with the five hundred and first. It gave me some time to heal but not a lot.

The entire temple was somber. It was only a month after Asoka Tanno left the order. And I couldn’t exactly blame her. The Jedi bent to the pressure of the senate and expelled Asoka. It turned out that Barris Offree was the one who blew the hanger up. I didn’t know either of them well but they were always nice to me. Barris wasn’t the only one who had lost faith in the Jedi. I was starting too and I knew it must have been the same for Anakin Skywalker. I knew he was of course. He was the hero with no fear and the chosen one. I knew he was accepted into the order at nine. I also knew that he blamed the counsel for the death of his mother. And I also knew he blamed the counsel for bowing to the senate. And to be honest? I don’t blame him.

I was pulled out of my musing by a knock at the apartment door. It must have been the droid with the mail. I didn’t bother to put my tunic on as it was a droid and was programmed to not report anything we didn’t want it too. As I approached the door I didn’t notice the force signature on the other side of the door. I really wish I had some damn caf. I opened the door expecting to see the mail droid but instead I saw Master Obi-wan Kenobi. The fellow redhead’s eyes widened slightly before going back to normal.

“Good morning Padawan Bush, I was here to inform you the Jedi council wished to speak with you, but it appears that a trip to the healers is in order afterwards.” The famed negotiator of the Jedi order said taking in every mark, burse, cut and scar on my body. My face flushed with embarrassment as I looked down while summoning my tunic from my room with the force. “Master Kenobi, I wasn’t expecting you this morning.” The amused smirk that appeared on the council member’s face didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I can see that. Now, you can do your tunic on the way to the council’s chamber. There's an urgent matter we must discuss with you.” And with that the redhead started to walk leaving me to stumble after him. As I walked I did my tunic tight as Master Kenobi had seen my abuse and I would already be forced into a trip to the healers. I didn’t need to expose my abuse. “Master” Krell would kill me. And no, I don’t mean that figuratively. As we walked towards the tower that housed the Jedi council’s chamber I didn’t notice Master Obi-Wan communicating through his bond with the rest of the Council. The ride in the turbolift was calm if not slow. I felt waves of calm dousing the fire of my nerves.

I had always been told that my emotions in the force were like an explosion. That I had an aura about me that made people want to protect me and soothe me when I’m in distress. The turbolift doors open revealing a long hall to a single door. I remember being down this hall when I was four, when I was first brought to the temple after my parents died. I remembered being carried in a padawan's arms as I tried to stop my sobs. I remember him rubbing circles on my back. I remember the words of comfort he whispered in my ear. I remember him wiping the blood from the cut in the middle of my eyebrow. I remember so much of him but I don’t remember his name.

I was brought to the present by Master Obi-Wan’s voice. “Padawan, Wait out here while I inform the Council of your arrival.” I nodded as he walked into the Council chamber. The second the doors slid closed I felt a feeling of dread fill me. something was wrong. I just knew it. Something had changed but I Didn’t know what. I also knew Master Kenobi would most likely mention my injuries and I knew that I couldn’t try to lie. I wanted to. But, the force told me to do so would be stupid. I played with my padawan braid as I waited for the doors to the Jedi council to open. Sometimes I wish I had been sent to the service corps. At least there I would have never incurred the abuse I had. The doors to the chamber opened.  It felt as though the Force was making me walk into the chamber but I did so all the same.

As I walked in I couldn’t help but notice that only half the council was prescient. Oppo Rancisis, Yoda, Adi Gallia, Eeth Koth, Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Kit Fisto were the ones present. I could feel each council member’s eyes on me, as if staring into my soul. Each Member’s eyes were filled with different emotions. Sadness, Pity, understanding, distrust and many others. But, I kept what little calm I could muster as I prepared to answer the council’s questions.

“Young one, Good to see you, it is.” Master Yoda greeted me with a smile and his ears poking upwards. Master Yoda had always been one of my favorite Jedi masters around the temple as he and I had a special bond. I was the only autistic Jedi in the order and had a lot of issues with conitrateing and being able to keep my emotions under wrapps.  Yoda had taken me under his wing to avoid any issues as I grew older. I sometimes think he would have taken me as his padawan had the war not happened.

“It’s nice to see you as well Master Yoda.” I said with a smile and a bow of respect. It felt relaxed when Master Yoda spoke to me, as though he knew my nerves and was trying to keep me calm. Unfortunately, someone had to shatter this. “Padawan, we don’t have time for the pleasantries. We have received troubling reports about your master and we have questions.” Master Windu said with contempt in his voice. He always disliked me. It always bothered me but I kept my calm.

“What Master Windu means,” Master Obi-Wan said with a slight glare at Master Windu. “Is that some disturbing events have occurred that involved your Master. And as his Padawan we have some questions for you.” Ah, Master Obi-Wan, ever the diplomat but the way they phrased it only increased the pit in my stomach. “Masters, may I ask what events have occurred? And how Is my Master involved?” I felt the feeling in my stomach grow as the council shared a look. “Padawan, I’m sorry to inform you but your Master was killed in a possible mutiny and-” I don’t hear the rest of Master Kenobi’s sentence after the first part. I was shocked. Master Krell was dead? He was Killed by a clone? He Couldn’t hurt me anymore? Did he hurt the Clones like he did me? It was a lot. And I couldn’t focus, I could feel myself start to get overwhelmed. I could hear someone calling my name but it felt as though they were in a forcefield. I barely saw someone stand in front of me. I couldn’t process all the information that had just been thrown at me. I could feel My panic spiral until Someone placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Justin, You’re okay. You need to match my breathing.” Master Kenobi told me in a calm voice. It took me a bit but I did manage to calm down. “I take It you didn’t know of your Master’s plan to abuse the clones?” Master Obi-Wan asked me softly and I could Only nod shyly at the question. “Did your master abuse you as well?” Was his follow up. I nodded again as my voice kept failing me. He hovered his hand around my tunic as if asking for permission to remove my tunic. I tensed but I gave him a nod. As Master Kenobi undid my tunic I heard gasps from the rest of the council as they saw the marks, bruises and scars on my torso. I felt ashamed and looked at the floor. I felt the looks bare into me and I felt embarrassed. I wanted to disappear and get away from the pity. I heard Yoda walk closer to me as I heard his walking stick. “Your fault, it was not. Abuse you, your master did. Obi-Wan, take him to the healing halls, you will. Wait for his new master with him, you will.” Yoda said softly but with an authoritative tone. I saw Obi-Wan nod and he warped my tunic around me to cover my abuse.

I layed on the bed in the healing halls as still as I could per the healer’s orders as I described my abuse to Obi-Wan for an official report for the chancellor to read. I was in a private room as all of the patent rooms were. I felt stuipd describing every injury to Obi-Wan. Despite Obi-Wan’s reassurances I felt like I let Krell abuse me. I was describing the burns on my shoulder when the door to my room slid open. “Ah Anakin. I’m glad you came to meet your new padawan.” Obi-Wan said and I could practically hear the knowing smirk in the redhead’s voice. I looked up from my lap to see my new master. I looked up to see Anakin Skywalker. I saw the frustrated look on his face turn into a look of sympathy.

“Hello there young one. It seems you've been through a lot. But, I’ll help you. I promise as your master I’ll protect you.” And I don’t know if it was because he was the hero with no fear or if it was because he was the chosen one, but I believed him and felt safe for the first time in a year. And I missed that feeling. But, I felt the force telling me it would all be okay.  

[thenomadinside]

A Seoul-o Trip to South Korea: Part 1

Places covered in this post: Myeong-dong (명동), Myeondong Kyoja (명동교자), Namdaemun Market (남대문시장), Dongdaemun Design Plaza (동대문디자인플라자 (DDP)), Lotte World (롯데월드)

It’s been 8 years since I’ve last visited Korea, so coming back to the country in a way reminded me of attending a 5-year high school reunion. It felt as if I was back to evaluate and access just much the country has not only changed but also stayed the same. Time really flies!

But wait, let’s first pause and rewind…

The first time I ever set foot in Korea was the summer of 2012 when my sister had just graduated from college and my family was on an Asia tour which consisted of Taiwan, Japan and Korea. The five of us (my mother, father, sister, grandma and I) stayed at a bed and breakfast called “Hongsi Guesthouse.” My sister had stayed here the summer before when she was interning in Korea. This adorable B&B was situated in the Mapo area and was hosted by a high-energy Korean lady who lived there with her two sons named 이강산 and Yun Whan, both of whom were aspiring artists. Everything inside the house felt very cheerful, positive and mundane: from the bed sheets they used all the way down to the interior decoration. The dining room was adorned with letters that were from visiting travelers from around the world and Polaroid photos. I’m sure my family photo is still hanging up there, assuming they still live in the same house.

The common area also had a little DIY station which would be replenished daily with local bread, basic spreads such as peanut butter and jam and a good ol’ carton of concentrated OJ. It was a really simple breakfast but weirdly felt “on brand” with the simplistic and positive vibes of the B&B. Oh, and how could I forget?! They also had an adorable puppy named Bpoom! That trip was so fun and I was left with amazing memories of Korea such as attending a live concert of Idiotape, eating spicy tteokbokki (떡볶이) that literally burned a hole in my mouth, going to a cat cafe near Ewha University, eating Dragon’s beard candy (꿀타래) in Insa-dong and more. Sadly today, they no longer operate as a B&B after closing their doors during the SARS pandemic and never reopened.

We named him Fashionkitty

First meal in Seoul

The 떡볶이 that killed me

Fresh juice vendor

How Koreans line up

Let’s make history

Idiotape concert, let’s goooooooo!

For those interested in watching the vlog I filmed for my Asia tour back in 2012, click the following link: https://vimeo.com/45953033

Fast forward to revisiting Seoul 8 years later…

I came here knowing quite well that this trip would be a totally different experience than my first one, especially coming as a solo traveler. My intent and purpose has changed drastically since the last time I traveled here. Also, as I’m much older this time around, I have a developed a specific way of traveling and know what things I like and don’t like. Following a Taiwan trip for Lunar New Years, I arrived in Seoul and was taken aback on how freezing it was! I’ve always heard about the brutal winters of Seoul but it was honestly a lot colder than I anticipated. I have a friend back in New York who always teases me that I’m always overdressed (as in wearing too much clothes than necessary). Sadly it doesn’t apply here as I had JUST enough clothing and basically piled on all my thicker clothing.

My flight arrived at the Incheon International Airport quite late at around 11pm and took a public charter bus towards the city center. The bus was rather empty with only one passenger besides me and it took approximately around an hour to get to Seoul. The bus dropped me off at the stop right outside of a Hilton hotel, which was a few blocks from my hotel in Myeongdong. After checking into the hotel, I went around my block in search for some quick eats and came across a 24-hour restaurant owned by a grandma where I ordered what I craved the most: soondobu and mandoo and then went back to rest.

Namdaemun Market (남대문시장)

The next day, I woke up early to get a head start to my day. I was only in Seoul for a few days so I didn’t have much time to waste. My first stop was Namdaemun Market (남대문시장) and it was only a 8-minute walk from where I stayed at (which seemed twice as long due to the freezing temperature). When I got there, most of the vendors were still setting up shop but there were a few thrift stores and boutique shops that were ready for browsing. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time here as the first thing on my mind was breakfast.

Delicious Kimchi at Myeongdong Kyoja

For those that don’t know, Myeong-dong (명동) is the shopping mecca for tourists as it has a wide variety of retail stores from Korean cosmetics to luxury fashion shops. It is easily accessible to all public transportation. I would definitely recommend staying at a hotel around here if you plan to spend most of your time in the city center. Some other areas that you could consider staying are Namyeong and Itaewon.

My first mission of the day was to eat breakfast at “Myeongdong Kyoja,” a Michelin-recommended eatery that is known for their noodle soups, kimchi and mandoo. When I arrived, the restaurant was already jam-packed with customers happily slurping on their noodles. I was a bit surprised at the popularity especially in the early morning as to me noodles aren’t the typical breakfast item. I ordered their most popular dish, the kalgaksu, which was delicious but I wasn’t actually a fan of the noodles, as the noodles felt gummy and lacked body to them. The broth, however, was very flavorful and enjoyable – and actually, perfect for a winter day! What I enjoyed the most about the restaurants was actually kimchi, as it had a unique taste to it. The kimchi had been fermented for a longer period of time and had a sort of licorice aftertaste to it that had me coming back for seconds and thirds to further identify the ingredients used and analyze the flavors. According to their website, their kimchi recipe is designed to compliment kalgaksu and mandu, which I definitely thought it did well.

By the time I finished breakfast, it was already 11:30am and Myeong-dong had become much more lively and all of the retail stores had opened. I didn’t plan to visit this area again so I did explore the area some more and looked at some shops including: Ziozia, ALAND flagship store, Mind Bridge

Dongdaemun Design Plaza (동대문디자인플라자 (DDP))

Lotto World & Mall: Seoul 101

“몰라몰라” – Confused taxi driver

I ended up chilling at some cafe around Gangnam and browsing through the underground mall right before my hair appointment. And that was the end of my first day in Korea: it was quite exhausting as I literally went all around Seoul but it was a jam-packed day and that is all I can ask for. Needless to say, I fell asleep in a slump right when I got back to my hotel.

Read the second part of my trip to Seoul here

[myempirepro-blog]

5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS

Let’s talk about the 5 signs of an emotional affair.

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com.  

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/signs-of-an-emotional-affair/

  --> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/tkliYtaPBCA

    As usual, we are answering your question.  Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to questions@LOLAandOLA.com

  So should you separate after an emotional affair?  Check out this story… 

  “I am 38 years old. I recently realized my 34 years old wife has had an emotional affair for the last four years.

  The past two weeks have been hell for me. We've been married for 9 years and have two beautiful kids. 

  I caught my wife last week chatting with someone and when I confronted her she said it was just a casual talk with a friend for stress relief and that it started a few months ago.

  As I dug up more evidence she has gradually admitted that the affair started four years ago and now has finally admitted that he was her ex lover in college. 

  She has apologized and said that she will end for good and that she is ashamed of having continued it for so long.

  But I find myself obsessively rewinding all the things I did over the last four years. 

  She had the affair through almost half of our married life, through the birth of our second child and even when I was hospitalized.

  I can’t seem to move on and have a gnawing feeling of doubt mixed with anger, jealousy and sadness.”

  First of all, I am very sorry for the emotional pain this has probably caused you and your family.  This is not going to be easy.

  What is An Emotional Affair?  Good Question.

  An emotional affair involves emotional intimacy with a person other than a partner that you are committed to even when it doesn’t involve physical intimacy.  It can hurt just as much if not more. 

  As usual, we want to share the top 5 signs that you or your marriage may be suffering from an emotional affair.  And then we will add 5 tips for recovery for you.

  Let’s get into it.

Sign Number 5

Absence or Fantasy

  So this sign is like two-in-one because sometimes the transgressor is also wondering if their behavior is inappropriate or dangerous.

  If you find yourself fantasizing over and over about another person in a romantic way, this may be a sign of an emotional affair or a brewing one at least.

  On the flip side, if you notice that your partner seems absent in the relationship, there is usually no vacuum of energy. There is a reason.  

  Your partner is probably intimate with another person at least emotionally.  After all, we are talking about something that’s all in the mind.

  But then everything in life starts from the mind.

  Recovery tip number five is that it’s not your fault.  

  But then I am guessing we are talking about a person you love and want to nurture a better relationship with.

  So “this”... not being your fault doesn’t mean you can’t assume responsibility in rekindling your relationship with a better foundation.

  Sign Number 4

Secrecy

  Naturally when a partner is involved in inappropriate behavior, they might start doing things in secret.

  The concept of a secret lover is not a joke.  But it doesn’t necessarily start like that.  It starts long before that.

  We are talking about signs right? The symptoms!  That’s why you want to make sure you watch the next video on the stages of emotional affairs.

  At this stage however, it’s probably becoming obvious that your partner is actively hiding something over a period of time.

  If they were planning a surprise party for you, this suspicious feeling you have… probably won’t last longer than a couple of weeks.

  Recovery tip number four if it’s no longer a secret is that you should take some time and space away from the relationship.

  There is no good decision that can be made when you are hurting emotionally.

  Sign Number 3

Greener Grass

  If you are on the receiving side of this bad behavior, you are probably starting to hear your spouse compare you to random others.

  You’ve been noticing that nothing you do is good enough.  But also, there is an unfair comparison with your partner’s friends, siblings or randoms.

  As a transgressor, you should simply know that the grass is probably greener on the other side because someone is watering it or it’s flat-out synthetic.

  It’s FAKE!

  Our recovery tip number three is that you should engage wise counsel.  Better yet if you can afford it, engage a therapist.

  Don’t attempt to get out of this funk with common sense tactics, advice or by your own self.  It’s much more complicated than right and wrong.

Sign Number 2

Emotional Tampon

  Ideally, your partner should be spending their gist and relaxation time with you because we are all busy with life right?

  You can’t wait to come back to a partner you are in love with.

  So when a partner seems like they’d rather spend hours on the phone with some other BFF who acts as their emotional tampon, it might be a sign of concern.

  Likewise if you’ve noticed that you enjoy time with some old friend, especially an ex, that’s the danger zone and the end is probably not going to be good. 

  Recovery tip number two - If you catch your partner already, like the story I shared earlier, determine if they still want the marriage.

  It’s not the determining factor if you should leave the marriage or not but it’s a condition because you can’t afford to negotiate “desire” in a romantic relationship.

  Sign Number 1

Consistency

So none of these signs are valid unless it’s consistent over a period of time.  There is no one event that can dictate the fate of your relationship.

  You must have noticed emotional absence, secrecy tendencies, unfair comparisons, inappropriate engagements with friends… all of these signs over a period of time.

  As for recovery tip number one, do you still want the marriage?  Rember that you can’t want the marriage more than your partner in this type of situation.

  This is the first of a two-part sequel.  

  So make sure you are subscribed with all notifications turned on in order to get notified when part 2 “The Stages of Emotional Affairs” is released.

  We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which  you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

  Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

[taiey]

Melanie has this self-image that she's—not just angry but dangerous, a hairsbreadth from violence. We hear it in 131 when she talks about her past:

Anger is… Anger’s been all I’ve had for a very long time. Years. Maybe since… oh, I, I don’t know. ... Angry at being passed over, being disrespected, ignored. That sort of anger, it – it powers you. Right up until it slips out and hurts someone.

and in 190 when she talks about how she feels about the cult:

If I didn’t have Georgie, I think I might just snap and beat them all to death. ... I swear, if it’s another hymn I am going to break something!

But look at how she actually reacts to Arun:

MELANIE: [Awkward] Oh, okay, um… Right, so… Arun, I just think that the… GEORGIE: I don’t think either of us is particularly comfortable with your use of the word “redeemers”. MELANIE: That’s… that’s not how it works. Is it? John? ARCHIVIST: Oh? No. That’s not how it works.

John and Georgie are included to demonstrate what "person being distinctly less gentle with Arun than Melanie is" looks like. Actually, ‘gentle’ is a bit of an understatement—I might be better to say ‘timid’.

And it’s not like this is the product of the therapy or, idk, Georgie. This entire post is inspired by pronouncingitwang’s post pointing this out—rewind to her first appearance:

I waited for another five minutes, but when Sarah still hadn’t returned I started to get a bit worried. I should have woken the others, but if it turned out she’d just gone to the bathroom, I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone. In that case she should have got one of us up to take over watching, anyway, but she’d hardly been the most professional while she was working with us, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if she hadn’t. After another five minutes, I decided to go look for her.

Like, Sarah is not fulfilling her responsibilities that she agreed to carry out. (and in a kinda dangerous way) But Melanie’s worried about embarrassing her.

In the end it was actually Toni that asked we not work with Sarah Baldwin again. Apparently she’d gotten “weird vibes” and didn’t feel comfortable around her. I agreed, though I didn’t share my reasons. 

She doesn’t even speak up first to say “let’s not work with her again”—again, this is kinda crossing the line from 'gentle' to 'timid'. Like, you can react to things that negatively affect you without over-reacting? (This is something she works on in therapy! Speaking up that she doesn't like 'Mel'; work-stoppage at her evil work: constructive responses.) (the apocalypse, uh, derails this a tad. :| )

What effect does the Slaughter have on this? Well, the next example is while she's got the bullet in her.

In episode 100, she's already tired and frustrated when Brian comes in. (let’s get this over with. I just don’t hold out a lot of hope for… coherence.) She does not get coherence. Instead she gets a panic attack. (Admittedly kinda her fault, because she said that the archives couldn't help with his spider problem. But like, that's more about the circumstances being objectively panic-inducing, she wasn’t being Mean or anything.) And... she's gentle.

I… Please, just… There’s, there’s tea there. Okay. Right. Yes. Okay, breathe. Yeah… well… Drink, drink the tea.

I’ll, I’ll get you some biscuits. I’ll get you, I’ll get you, I’ll get you… something… Just breathe! Breathe for me… [BRIAN TAKES SOME CALMING DEEP BREATHS] Okay, yes. Good. Good.

She's not confident or practiced or comfortable at it. She's out of her depth and kinda at the end of her rope and... gentle. Trying.

I think the through-thread is—people she has power over. She feels that anger and chokes it down because she could hurt them.

It’s difficult to strike the right balance, when you’re doing that.

(There’s another bucket of just—equals. Basira’s always there; John is for the rest of season 4 after 125; Helen :| ; Martin at least in season 5; etc. She has casual, unguarded conversations, too; and ones that are mostly focused on some goal, and ones where she’s getting what she wants, and all sorts of things.)

Towards people with power over her (the guy with the steady office job and authority over whether her experience counts as genuine; apparent boys’ club; evil mindreading murder boss; etc) she bites back. The difference is it's safe to do that because—one part she can't hurt them, and one part it'd be deserved. (Melanie as a comedian who always punches up.)

Except, you know... there's this bit in where 106 Basira and Melanie discuss how she 'literally' made Tim and Martin cry, and... while you can construct reasons they could 'have power over her'—seniority, gender—Basira's only been around since 092. Since that point, it's obvious that those aren't real power here. That's what the Slaughter is doing to her with her; validating seeing the world as more and more against her, handing her power and encouraging her to see herself as a put-upon victim, free to fight back guiltlessly.

And then she wakes up to a numb, wounded leg and stabs John. I wonder—what if "Right up until it slips out and hurts someone. I hurt someone." & "It didn’t stay in my leg because of some ghostly master plan. It stayed because I wanted it." in 131 are saying that - like - it wasn't taking out the bullet that de-Slaughtered her? That it was the wake-up call that she hurt John, someone who was trying to help her, and she didn't want to do that.

Didn’t want to be that.

@melaniemonth I don’t know if this is Platonic, or Health: therapy&recovery, or simply Self, but it is very, very Melanie.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 2, 3 & 4

Sitting here in a slight bit of disbelief that I'm writing another one so soon, but there have been pockets of time that have opened up in my life, and I'm going to take advantage before I run out, again!

Combining a little, here, because where we had 19 minutes plus of screen time in Episode 1, the number goes down considerably for a few episodes to off-set and focus on some other story lines/characters.

SPOILER ALERT: While I'm primarily writing these as though I were watching the episode for the first time, I will definitely spoil these episodes and MAYBE a little more (there ARE some nice points to reference as we go forward). Consider yourself forewarned!

Can Tim and Lucy untangle the mess of last episode's impulsive near-boinkfest? Let's dive in to find out.

Labor Day

"I'm positive your Sergeant will approve it?" "Yeah, he would, for sure. It's just, um, I have some things going on in my personal life right now."

There is so much to unpack, here. Let's start with Lucy's absolute surety that Tim would approve her going to the Undercover Academy.

When she first thought about pursuing Under Cover, Tim was totally against it. Yes, he has his own history regarding his ex-wife, but he also wasn't sure that Lucy could handle it.

Obviously, he under-estimated her, and he's repeatedly remarked on her doing a good job every time. "Not bad." "I thought she needed rescuing." "You're really good at this." Tim will approve it. No question.

The second is "I have some things going on in my persona life". Because, Chris immediately assumes he's the only roadblock to her happiness, at this point (and, Chris, honey, you are a roadblock... just not the one you think you are).

If you watch to the end of the episode, though, this isn't the only thing on her mind. Tim is, too. Not Sergeant Bradford, but Tim... the man.

They didn't get to finish their moment, and there's no way to take it back. In the flash of a moment, Lucy had to acknowledge her cheating ways and then register that the man she was cheating on was dying on her couch.

And what if that drove Tim away forever? What if that was her only chance, and now it's gone. What if it could have meant something, but she'll never have the chance to know?

Yeah... this is messy.

"How's Lucy?"

Hold the phone right there. Angela is asking Tim Bradford about Lucy.

In the past (especially post DOD), it was always Tim asking others about Lucy. He was the one on the outside who wasn't as close. Now, he's the mouthpiece for Lucy's state of being... and that's huge.

Tim has been in contact with Lucy. Maybe a call, but more likely text messages. But, however he's done it, he's been the one to check on her directly instead of going through someone else.

"Are you checking up on me" is now Tim reaching out to Lucy about Lucy. And that's huge.

"Uh, she's still a little shaken. Taking some time to get Chris settled." "Remind me what you were doing at her apartment... when you found Chris bleeding out."

Hermana! You are not giving this man any leeway and I am living for it!

Look, gossip gets around, but Angela's the only one who knows Tim's caught feelings for Lucy. It's unlikely any of the others would think Tim, who never stops seeing his Boots as Boots, would even consider boinking a Boot.

But Angela's different. She knows her Man of Honor better than most, and she has a feeling there's a reason behind Tim's presence in Lucy's apartment. "Search your feelings, you know it to be true."

"Just dropping her off after we got back from Vegas."

He leans into the truth. Honestly, that's the best thing you can do in a situation like that. But he knows she is fishing and he is hoping she will bite onto his lure away from the truth.

"Mmhmm."

Yeah, she's not biting, Tim.

"What are you implying?" "What do you think?" "I was just dropping her off." "Mmhmm."

Tim narrows his eyes at her, frustrated that she's now going along with his half-truth. Because, for goodness sake, this is messy.

Imagine Tim and Lucy don't get interrupted and they go through with it. Who would ever know? Tim goes his way. Lucy goes hers.

And then they'd have to deal with the inevitable emotional fall-out... but neither of them was thinking past that moment. They certainly never thought they'd have to explain it to others!

A Knock At The Door

Melissa O'Neil has some beautiful physicality to this scene, as she leans up to look out the peephole and sees Tim standing there. Gosh, is that indicative of her life, right now.

She has Chris. He's right here on her couch. But she wants Tim, and all she can do is glimpse him from outside her world. He's right there, but he's not inside... He's back on the other side of that threshold.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" "Just checking in. How you feeling?"

Look. At. Lucy. Her face screams, "Are you seriously doing this?!" This is likely the first time she's seen him since that horrible moment... the first time she's seen him wearing his own clothes and rocking his own hair (slicked back Tim was sleezy, I'm just sayin').

"Lucy's taking great care of me." "I have no doubt."

Tim's voice is so soft on this. I'll later come to identify it as his Velvety Voice... because he's talking about Lucy, the natural caretaker. The one who watches out for others. The one who sends food to her TO to help expedite his recovery.

Lucy is a beautiful caretaker, and a part of him wishes he was the one receiving her affection, right now.

Everything in him is aching to reach for her to offer comfort, right now, because he can see she is hurting. But his hands are firmly in his pockets, and have been since the second he stopped knocking.

"Can we talk?" "Yeah, sure."

He motions his head to the hallway, drawing her back out, across her own threshold. His voice is almost hesitant, and she doesn't know what they might discuss, but I think they both know their "almost" is going to come up.

She leaves the door open, probably to keep herself in check. And as she steps out, she and Tim are now standing in almost exactly the same positions as the last time they saw one another... standing at a threshold prepared to go in.

But, now they've both stepped back out.

"So, I, uh, I hear you're on the fence about going to UC school." "Chris called you?" "Yeah, which was expected. He wanted me to talk to you."

I love his little smirk on that. Not so long ago, his girlfriend called Lucy, and she wasn't phased a bit. But this is different for Tim.

Tim has feelings for Lucy, and that's making things complicated enough in this moment. Now, her "work in progress" is calling him to get him to nudge Lucy in the right direction? Because Chris trusts Lucy will listen to Tim.

Tim is Lucy's person. Man, these people are so bloody dense.

Because Lucy is standing before the man she truly wants to be with, and she's aghast that her stand-in cardboard cut-out is reaching out to the leading hunk in her life.

"It's not the right time." "He's gonna be fine. You owe it to yourself to go." "I know, but-" "What happened to him isn't your fault."

This is important. We're hearkening back to post DOD when Lucy ensured Tim understood Caleb wasn't his fault. But, the problem is that Chris isn't the only thing on Lucy's mind.

"We were about to." "But we didn't. We didn't."

Tim's shaking his head as he's speaking, volume dropping to barely above a whisper, pain in the assertion. I've thought a lot about this... and Tim's trying to assuage Lucy's guilt. He thinks she feels guilty. He thinks that is what is holding her back. Guilt.

But Tim is as wrong about Lucy as she was about Tim when he tried to talk to her in the hotel room. Lucy has had time to think about everything that has happened, and even as she is nursing Chris back to health, she's been thinking about Tim.

Yes, in that moment, they were both going for sex. But, here's the thing, Lucy thinks she's revealed herself to Tim. She thinks he's onto her feelings for him. And right now, she's trying to have the same discussion he wanted to have in the hotel room.

But they have this bad habit of not listening and instead assuming.

"Are you trying to get rid of me as your Gofer?" "No. No. I'm trying to look out for you."

Listen to how Tim's voice breaks. Look at how his face crumples. This is killing him. But he truly believes Lucy feels guilty about what almost happened. Maybe he worries his conversation in the hotel pressured her in some way.

But no matter what, he doesn't believe for a second that Lucy Chen has feelings for him.

He's had time to think this over, and over, and over. And every time he comes to the conclusion that she doesn't feel anything for him, and that she really wants to be with Chris. And Tim wants whatever makes her happy.

Lucy, in the meantime, is breaking. Tim rejecting sex was one thing. But now, as she's trying to talk to him about them, he's pushing her away. That's how she sees it, at least. Tim's pushing her to UC school. he's going to replace her as his Gofer. "Tim doesn't want me."

"It's time for you to move on." "And some time away would be good." "It's a great opportunity, Lucy." "Mmmhmm." "You should go for it."

She thinks he's using US school as a prop to reject her, to push her away, to separate them. And it hurts.

Lucy looks up to Tim's eyes, searching them for something to tell her that she's wrong, something that'll make her believe he means this for her good, truly. Something that says, "I'm not rejecting you."

But Tim turns away. Because this burns. He glances inside to see Chris on the couch, through that threshold Tim thinks he will never cross, again.

He barely glances back at Lucy... because the tears are already brimming in his eyes... and he can't let her see.

Lucy stands in the hallway in pieces. Because she wanted to talk to him. She had time to consider their actions, and she needed to know why he crossed that threshold. Was it just physical? Is there something more there for him, as there is for her?

But they're still talking past one another. Time will tell if they learn how to have an actual conversation.

Dye Hard

"I'd like to congratulate Officer Lucy Chen for successfully completing the DEA Covert Operations Training Academy, which is no small feat."

Tim is watching her the whole time, smiling at her accomplishment. It's no longer, "Your accomplishments are my accomplishments". Lucy did this all on her own.

And Tim is going to support Lucy however he can. Because, in his mind, that's all he can do, now.

Look, 5x01 was all over the place for Tim, emotionally. But in 5x02, he had time to consider what happened, and he has determined that he is Lucy Chen's biggest mistake.

Think about it. He knows how heartbroken she was after her ex cheated on him, then married the girl. From what he knows, Lucy has never cheated, and we know that he never has, either.

So, he has to think about what went wrong, and in Tim's mind... it was him. We know that's not right. We know how these two feel about one another. We know it was a lapse in judgment, not an absence of emotion.

But Tim grew up in an abusive household, with a father who likely blamed him for every beating. He was never good enough... maybe he questioned if anything about him was good.

He puts himself in harm's way every day to protect people, to help people, to put some good out in the world. But what did he do with Lucy? He led her down a path that left her guilt-ridden.

We know that's not true! But, Tim is keeping his distance from Lucy, now, in an effort to protect her... and himself. It's such a mess.

He doesn't even walk over to congratulate her. For all he know, he hasn't texted her since she left for UC school. They're both stuck in their heads thinking the other needs/wants space. A simple conversation would solve everything... but they're too hurt to even start it.

"He hasn't replaced you, yet, so he's happy."

Ouch. Lucy gives us quite a bit of insight into her head right now. She thinks Tim's unhappy, so Tim replaced her... and is avoiding her.

Her eyes land on him across the room, and he can feel her gaze. He looks back, but he has no idea what to say. Lucy breaks the eye contact, feeling even more lost than she did before.

"When did you last hear Chen on the radio?"

It's Lucy's first day back on the job since leaving for UC School, and Tim's hyper-aware of that. He's keeping a listening ear out for her, even if he would never admit it.

He jumps into action, immediately, to go rescue Chen... Chen... He said "Chen", didn't he?

In the past, Tim stuck to "Boot" or "Chen" with Lucy nearly all of the time. "Lucy" was a rarity. But, in 5x01, that's all he called her. He uses her name at the end of 5x02 during their breakup scene (thank God we got that out of the way...).

But once they're both back on the job, he's gone formal as a way to protect and distance himself. But that was before his woman was in possible danger.

"Chen? Chen!" "Yeah. Yeah, I'm in here!" "Hang on. The door is stuck." "No kidding." "You okay?"

Tim is looking at her not entirely like an SO, but more like an... SO. Oh, you know what I mean. He looks her over to make sure she's alright, and there's this softness to it that reminds me of how he looked at her in her apartment before they found Chris.

This is their first interaction since he encouraged her to go to UC school. And it's him rescuing her, again.

Getting to say, "You okay" is the first opportunity he's had to gauge how she is directly in weeks, and her brain is already firing on the Rosalind angle.

This episode is the peak of their era of discomfort. And we needed it. We needed to see how it looks when these two are pining and aching for one another, but not knowing the other wants them, too.

Sure, they could have skipped this era, but this is a huge transition for these two. Every step of this relationship has been earned. There are times he was in the wrong, and times she was in the wrong, and now they're both wrong.

The Choice

"I'd like to stay, too, and make sure Bailey's never down there by herself."

Tim glances back at her as she says it. Rosalind's acolyte... another... trapping another woman in a hole. But one thing I love about this is how Tim never once tells her to sit it out, or acts like she can't handle it.

Lucy once said if she couldn't handle Rosalind in a cage, she shouldn't be a cop. She also said that she knew Tim would help her if it got to her head. (and he protested... but... c'mon, we all know he's going to do it).

"Is John there? Lucy, where's John?"

Lucy looks up to Tim, unsure how to answer. He feels her glance and he kneels down, taking over. "If you need a cop, tag me in" comes to mind.

"Chen." "I'll go down." "No. There may be more traps. It's too dangerous. Just be ready to follow if it's clear." "Okay."

I get both perspectives in this moment. Lucy wants to help in every way that she can. She survived one of Rosalind's acolytes. She wants to do everything she can to help Bailey.

But Tim's not about to lose Lucy to Rosalind twice. He already has his gear in hand as he preps to go down. And he can't look at her.

Tim can't meet her eyes as they're arguing here about who should go down. The last time they were on opposite sides of an issue they were in the air and she kissed him out of nowhere. It's still too fresh.

He settles into position, and as he does he can't help but look up at Lucy—to find her staring back at him. And then neither can look away.

Because they both know that if there are more traps, this may be their last moment looking at one another.

It's the risks they take for their job, but sometimes when you face your own mortality directly (and I have a few times), you consider all the things left unsaid. These two have a lot left unsaid.

In classic YA romance style, Lucy seems to hold her breath until he disappears from sight, when she starts breathing, again.

The rest of the episode isn't Chenford-heavy (this episode isn't about them), but the fact that Lucy was the one to bring Bailey back? Oh, I'm in tears. Because not only did Lucy beat Rosalind's acolyte once by cheating her Day of Death, but she did it twice by saving Bailey.

Stopping here with these three. I feel like we really needed this episode for Tim and Lucy, though. This is the first episode they're working together, again, after things started to get weird. And they easily found their rhythm of leaning on one another, again.

They needed that. They needed to get here so we could get what we see in the rest of the season. If the avoidance had lasted too long, I fear it would have gotten tired and frustrating. Yes, Tim and Lucy aren't yet ready to talk about them, but they're talking, again. Even if it's only work-based, they're talking, again.

And that gives us what we need to get into "The Fugitive". But that, quite literally, is another Meta.

As always, thanks for reading!! This has been a lot of fun!j