#I hate being upset about this because it's a stupid af thing to be upset about but here we are

[jellybeanium124]

generations are stupid obviously but fr we need to talk about the difference between the 97-05'ers and 06-12'ers because one of those groups still grew up with vhs tapes and dvds and phones with keyboards and remember corded house phones and one of those groups grew up with ipads and tiktok (obviously there's no clear line but as someone who has interacted a lot with my fellow zers I stg there is some kind of cutoff starting in 06 like up to 05 they feel like My People and then starting younger than that it's Different, maybe that'll change as we get older idk but that's where my split between Older zers and Younger zers is rn). like I'll never forget when I was a camp counselor in summer 2021 and I (19, born 2002) wowed one of my campers (12, born 2008-2009) with the concept of satellite TV having 3 several-minute ad breaks per episode of television, while he was used to 30 second ads at the start of episodes of his anime with no breaks in the middle. like I think there's something to be said about the difference between people who remember getting their first screen and people who don't. the way I see most adults millennials and up talk about gen z they forget the 97-05'ers and only talk about the gen zers who are still children and say stuff like "unalive" and don't realize the 90s was the age of flavor blasted ph of 2 sour candy. I mean there's something to be said about people being slow to catch up with the effects of time, I remember people thinking I was a millennial as a teen because they couldn't wrap their head around the fact that millennials were adults now, and now the same thing is happening to gen z where people forget a good chunk of us are adults now, as old as 26. anyways that has been my rant post please remember a good chunk of gen z are adults now

[lexithwrites]

sorry for the long read but this is important (aka lets talk about plagiarism)

hello! so, if anyone remembers the other day i posted a lil snippet for a smutshot involving remus/sirius/james. originally, someone got very upset about the lack of tags and accused me of writing SA—it was not SA, it was teasing someone and edging them, but i digress. people misread things all the time and thats whatever—and they privately messaged me accusing the same thing and saying i needed to tag better as i had triggered them. i deleted the post not wanting to upset anyone else, apologised for upsetting them then whilst trying to explain my work and explain how it wasnt SA, they blocked me. that's fair and i moved on learning my lesson as i clearly did something wrong.

what isn't fair, is rewriting said work for yourself and posting it on YOUR ao3 account.

i was sent the story and commented:

you deleted this post almost immediately and proceeded to say it isn't plagiarism. this is the definition of plagiarism btw:

that's what you did. it's the exact same scenario, it's a threesome, and the dialogue is VERY similar. the premise for the scene is the same. I've got some screenshots of both works below to highlight this:

MINE:

THEIRS:

now this isn't word for word, obviously, and theirs is a longer one shot with other plot points involved, but these scenes are similar. the dialogue in particular is similar. its a slap in the face honestly; to be given shit by someone and then see that they decided to use it for themselves.

there is always consent in my work, i've never had anyone say before that this is an issue as my finished works have discussions of safe words and safe sex and boundaries. pretty much everything i've ever written that involves sex has a conversation regarding safe words. i clearly tagged it wrong and i will admit that. i will take the blame for that and tag accordingly from now on.

but you used my work for your own. and also (since you added this to the ao3 post i'll include it) you admitted to using my work:

'inspired by some drama'

YOU REWROTE WHAT I MADE. YOU USED SIMILAR DIALOGUE. THE SAME SETTING. YOU JUST MADE IT YOUR OWN AND ARE ACTING LIKE THAT ISN'T PLAGIARISM??

like—

just because you didn't think i would 'appreciate' being mentioned does not mean you do it?? you literally admitted to 'tweaking' it and writing it yourself. this is such stupid fucking drama and so unnecessary what did you want to gain from this??

do not use other peoples fucking work. SIMPLE.

also i shouldnt have to say this but dont give this person shit. dont send hate in my name, its not worth it and not the point of this post whatsoever .im not naming them, they know who they are even if they've blocked me. i dont care if you see this, honestly i hope you see it. just please take plagiarism seriously because its annoying af and weird

ANYWAY have a lovely day <3

[sibylsleaves]

Ok since you talked about conflict: what do you think their arguments will look like!!! (The first one and then perhaps the ones after)

oh i do believe their first fight is messy af!!! Because I think the only time we really have seen conflict between them has been during the Lawsuit era, which was so long ago and relatively early in their relationship, and then like little hints of it in s5 (in 5x01 with the panic attack stuff, and kind of in 5x10 with Eddie basically shutting Buck down about coming back to the 118).

And I think fundamentally they would HATE arguing. Like they are ALWAYS on the same team and I think it would be excruciating for both of them to be at odds with one another, so I think even a relatively small disagreement about something could easily blow up into something way bigger because one, or most likely BOTH, of them try to bury it and ignore it and pretend everything's fine because how can they not be on the same side about something??? and then when they refuse to address it it just gets bigger and bigger and their first fight is like...this kind of catastrophic explosion.

(omg sorry putting the rest under a readmore because this got so long...)

Like not screaming at each other or anything like that, but like their argument gets out of hand and one or both of them have to remove themselves from the situation and a little part of them is like is this it? is this where it ends? what if we really weren't ever meant to get together what if we really were better as friends? We NEVER fought when we were just best friends maybe this is too much for us...and then they get some Wise Perspective from someone or they have a classic Call That Mirrors Our Current Conflict moment and they're like wait. we're being stupid. yeah maybe we're fighting right now but we also both want to fight FOR each other and FOR this relationship.

I do think one of their early if not their earliest fights might be something about Eddie keeping something from Buck--not something nefarious at all, but something where it's Eddie basically processing or refusing to process something and not letting Buck in on the processing/lack thereof and Buck finds out and gets upset because when Eddie keeps things from him BAD THINGS HAPPEN. And Buck LOVES to fix things and Eddie loves that he wants to (comes in handy when you've got a bunch of holes in your walls...) but also he doesn't want to admit that there's anything TO fix and also, maybe this isn't something that can just be FIXED.

Just spitballing but maybe it's that Eddie is avoiding telling his parents about Buck and it's not that Buck needs him to do that but that Eddie is HIDING the fact that he hasn't told his parents FROM Buck because he doesn't want to admit how scary it is to come out to them and also to possibly open up this relationship (that he feels SO sure of and SO happy in) to the judgement of his parents who, for all the progress they've made HAVE proven themselves to be judgmental in the past. And Eddie thinks Buck is going to be hurt and disappointed that he hasn't told his parents but Buck is just hurt and sad that Eddie hasn't shared his feelings about the situation with Buck. (This also fits into my desire to see the friction of like, here's something i would've shared with you without question before we got together but now we ARE together and you are the SUBJECT of the thing I would previously have been sharing with you as like a friend/third party to the situation). Cue the Diaz parents showing up unexpectedly for a surprise visit and it all goes to hell. and i for sure think their future arguments get messy not just for them but also for the entire firehouse. because you know who loves oversharing about their relationship problems at work??? BUCK. and you know who hates talking about his problems and wants to pretend they don't exit? EDDIE "I don't panic" DIAZ. So I do think their little tiffs tend to bleed out and affect everyone on the team (but important to note I don't think they let it affect them on calls, it's more just a general disruption of the Team Vibe like in the truck/at the station because they can't stop sniping at each other). Like I think we'd see something very similar to how pissy Buck was with Eddie in 5x01 and Eddie being like BUCK FOR GODS SAKE and Hen and Chim are like 🍿🍿🍿 and Ravi is like. traumatized because everytime Buck is upset with Eddie somehow HE gets punished for it. and maybe even Chim and Maddie end up in their own argument because they disagree about who is in the wrong in the Eddie/Buck conflict (who is siding with whom...now that's the real question...but for the record in my head Chim is on Buck's side and he is FLABBERGHASTED that Maddie wouldn't take her own brother's side!!! But Maddie and Eddie are so similar so she REALLY empathizes with him in this situation and also she's ALWAYS primed and ready to call Buck out for being a dumbass.) I could see this being played for laughs and/or also as part of a larger conflict about Buck and Eddie being allowed to work together on the same shift. Like maybe it's kind of played somewhat comedically at first and then they like, resolve their fight in some cute way but Bobby still sits them down and is like you have GOT to figure out how to fight as a couple without dragging us all into it. Or you can't work together anymore. I'm so serious.

And Buck and Eddie are like what are you talking about we're all good now!! we love each other everything's great! And Bobby is like *stares directly at the camera* oh so you're never going to have another conflict again for the rest of your lives?

And then Buck starts thinking about how HES GONNA SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH EDDIE AND HOW AMAZING IS THAT--sorry I'm getting distracted.

But anyway. Yeah. I think it's a process and they have to actually sit down together and figure out how they're going to handle conflict going forward because as much as they love each other and as much as it KILLS THEM to fight, no relationship is perfect at all times, even theirs.

[the-gayest-show]

The Haunting of Wells House/Best of Luck Review/Analysis

NEW EPISODES AGAIN YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

The Haunting of Wells House:

I love a fun episode to get my mind off the angst of Operation Birthday Take back!

The gag of this being a paranormal TV show were so great! So many minor things I loved like the "Paranormal Pursuit" show title they keep saying. Literally cracked me up the way they were saying it.

I also adore the interview gags, you cannot tell me this ain't so fitting for both of them!

"My local paper called my performance of Ebenezer Scrooge 'Not as bad as it could've been'" 😭

Her expression is golden.

Also the reference to that one painting from Cosmo and Wanda was a nice touch (I mean they already had The Scream up there before this)

(The original is called American Gothic, I had no idea! I knew the art piece generally but didn't know the name till I googled and it and suddenly boom that's the name. AND it's from the 1930s! Ain't that cool stuff!)

Jorgan reappearance! We haven't seen you in like. A bit. I'm pretty sure not since the fairy testing thing but I could be wrong. "Father Jorgan" I love how Wanda and Cosmo literally summon him for the sole purpose of "exorcising" a ghost fairy. Funniest shit on Earth fr. Bro was NOT built for the "Father" role. HE LITERALLY GETS "DA RULES" OUT INSTEAD OF A BIBLE IM CRYINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Also why does bro just have like so many cassette tapes? Are they all cursed? Are more fairies trapped in tapes or something? And it's a LARGE collection. WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY TAPES JORGAN WH-

Overall, this episode was fun as hell and I ADORED Hazel and her dad's dynamic together. Tbh it's so cute! Hazel is so enthusiastic about hunting for the apartment ghost with her dad it's so wholesome 🥺 I honestly love the father/daughter duo sm an episodic adventure episode is so nice. Also the TV segment thing was awesome af, enjoyed that a lot. I feel like it's probably in reference to Buzzfeed Unsolved or something.

Best of Luck:

Ohhhhh boy, Dev is back again! And it is NOT looking good! I found this episode to be kinda heartbreaking for many reasons. This entire episode essentially revolves around Dev wanting to make "rule breaking" wishes (eg. win the tournament and that t-shirt) but Peri (being normal about Da Rules) tells him he can't (because he can't) and Dev and Peri have a little fight in which Peri seems to quit. I find that looking back, he might've been crying?

Bro's got tears rolling down his face and everything!

And then he gets replaced with Minecraft Steve Foop Irep, who retains the cube shape he was born in (is this a glimpse into a potential timeline where Peri would've been a sphere?), and really hates his name change unlike his normal fairy counterpart.

HE SAYS HE'S MORE ATTRACTIVE 😭 If only he knew that Peri was a Tumblr sexy man and he.... isn't.

Anyway, Dev literally uses the anti-fairy powers of not giving a fuck about the rules to essentially wish his way into winning the stupid prize, while giving Hazel bad luck (which she manages to get past using good luck charms) and making her lose the tournament.

-

Important thing, let's talk about that scene after Dev wins. He's expecting Hazel to be upset about losing, like... really upset. When she's not that upset and takes losing normally, he lashes out at her.

He WANTS her to react like how he's been reacting to the thought of losing the competition. I think this is still a reaction to his dad being neglectful at the party (and he very likely hasn't stopped being absentee since then). He's projecting his own emotions, and rejecting Hazel's attempts to be nice.

"I don't need your caring and understanding, Hinkle!" (This is also a sign of Dev's detachment from Hazel, since he reverts back to the "everything but calling her Hazel" bit)

He's more happier with physical things rather than emotional. He seems to avoid the emotional wishes, likely a coping mechanism for the neglect, opting to use the rule free wishes of Irep to wish for money, love from some classmate (who he's never been shown to love back in any way before this), to be the King of America (bro really invented monarchy for a monarchy-less country. Crazy.).

And then he literally wishes for Cosmo and Wanda to be nothing! To kill them essentially! I think that's driven by Dev's idea that having two fairies is better than one (a concept I remember being battled on with Remy Buxaplenty and his one fairy), even if it isn't and they're all still bound to the same rules, and by some motivation to get back at Hazel, likely another projection of his feelings.

Just before the mini battle ends, Dev exclaims that he's "finally going to get everything [he's] ever wanted" and that they're ruining it for him. I think, deep down, Dev really wants his dad's affection. I've mentioned this before in the review I did for the Take back episode, but he seemed so devastated about the lack of attention from his father then and even way back from scavenger hunt episode when Dev and Hazel first bonded with each other. Personally, I think Dev was likely going to use Irep (and his ability to basically with whatever, in Dev's eyes) to wish his father could be different. I think that was the real goal, and all the physical stuff was for show and very surface level wishing.

Dev's rejection of Hazel eventually gets to Hazel herself, where she chucks the shirt at him and says "Fine! Take the dumb shirt! I hope it was worth it." Hazel is probably very much done with Dev for the time being, because she tried to reach out to him but she could see he doesn't want any of it.

Let's spawn in the question of Peri. Peri technically should act as a father figure or some kind of parental figure in this case, but he's defo been screwed over by the council for giving him this boy with issues and seems to resent him for constantly not listening when Peri says that some things are against the rules, which is why he temporarily takes a break. I know someone on a discord server pointed out that Peri isn't really bonded with Dev yet, and that really rings true.

You can see this when Peri pretty much ignores his godkid in favour of his parents (which I guess contextually could be described as just being wrapped up in convo, but knowing his track record it's likely the former). THE KID WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE! SAD! Peri, to me at least, doesn't seem like he's emotionally equipped for the job of truly being there for Dev. Cosmo and Wanda seemed way better at this in OG FOP, where they constantly looked out for Timmy, even if he was a bit of a brat at times. But Peri really does care, even a little, as evidenced by the fact that he was jealously watching over Dev while he was gone. He wanted him to call Peri back. I wonder if Peri will figure out how to adjust to being a more parental figures than he hoped, because for now it seems he's thinking about this more as a job than an actual child he has to take care of. I hope he'll improve that aspect of himself, especially concerning the finale.

-

NOW ON TO THINGS I NOTICED!

AYOOOOOO FLIPPED GENDER ROLES OF THE KNITTING AND READING NEWSPAPER LETS GOOOOOOOOO

It's also kinda weird to me that they sorta fly up and come out of the box at Hazel's school after this. It gave me the vibes of "we're living inside the box" but they aren't? Wasn't that their home? Anyways.

I said it once and will say it again: Irep is built like Minecraft Steve. You can't change my mind.

Mr Guzman is so happy at the new nickname lol. He's got that 😎 expression.

JORGAN YOU ARE BACK AGAIN. DOUBLE WHAMMY RETURN. TWO EPISODES IN ROW, KEEP UP THAT STREAK DAWG!

I guess there's a fairy HR too? And I thought the DMV was bad enough. Placing my bets on a fairy godparent union now.

Overall this episode had a lot for me to ponder on and now I wonder what Dev's gonna do with the information about anti-fairies he's gonna collect (how the fuck are the o-pears gonna know shit about this anyway). One of the episodes is Irep and Dev taking over fairy world, so I guess minecraft Steve is gonna make a reappearance, plus Dev will likely try to take over Fairy World with the same vulnerable-ish state he's in. I LOVE the plot thickening! FUCK YEAH BITCHES WE GETTING LORE

[daenysthedreamer101]

TVD S5 EP11&12 (mostly a rant about Tyler and Caroline)

I'm not even gonna talk about the first 10 episodes, Silas was annoying AF I'm glad he's dead. Also, Katherine as a human was hilarious.

Tyler deserved better. I said it. I never really understood the Tyler hate. Like, yeah he was a douche in S1 but if we're judging him by his S1 personality shouldn't we all hate Caroline by that logic? Cause she was kind of a bitch in S1.

Caroline sleeping with Klaus...yeah no I don't even know what to say. I knew it was coming, just didn't know when. It was dumb and just didn't really make any sense to me. I was never really on board with them, to begin with.

Why did Klaus come back to MF in the first place? To see Katherine dying? Anyways... It always felt to me like Klaus was being really pushy and trying to flirt with Care when she was obviously not into it (she seemed pretty content and happy with Tyler)

Like sir, you have a whole ass baby on the way (idk what happened with that storyline cause the Mikaelsons went to New Orleans and I'm not watching TO rn) and you're here in MF trying to hook up with a girl who repeatedly told you she wasn't interested. Dare i say, you look kind of pathetic.

Tyler my boy, you deserve better, you really do. And then, when he hears Care talking to a Katherine-possessed Elena about Klaus he is obviously heartbroken.

Look, Care, I like you, I really do, but I can't defend you on this one. It's preposterous to me that she's the one acting all shocked when Tyler gets upset. Like, you slept with the man who ruined his life, who killed your best friend's aunt (RIP Jenna you will always be missed), and oh, killed his mother! (RIP Carol you were innocent)

Also, this might just be me, but did everyone forget that Klaus was gonna kill Care in the sacrifice ritual thing back in S2? Maybe I'm just really bad at letting things go but I would never get over that? Like I would never want to be friends let alone anything more with a person who brought so much suffering to me and my friends.

You almost died because of him, twice! Damn it Caroline, where are your morals!?

Call it a moment of weakness I guess, but still, it was hella stupid. And then Stefan defends Caroline? Like no don't defend her she did a stupid thing!

Tyler is my guy and I like him. I understand not liking his character but you cannot seriously say that he was in the wrong in this situation. He had every right to be upset. And Caroline was stupid for what she did. Maybe it's because Klaus said "You'll never see me again" so she thought "fuck it, I might as well since he'll be gone for good" but still dumb af

The show has been off the rails since S4 it can only be worse from here lol

[ikamigami]

AHHHHHHH LAST EPISODE- I CAN'T EXPRESS HOW HURT SUN MAY HAVE FELT DURING THAT OMFGGGGGGG

*cries*

Yeah.. I'm devastated..

I- uhh.. well.. I knew Sun wasn't the best option to talk to Moon..

Moon is awful af.. I- and his mental state isn't an excuse!

Also people are annoying for being angry at Sun (I know wild but some people are angry) when he had to went through some awful shit because of Old Moon.. he has depressive psychosis because of Old Moon's abuse and trauma that also was mainly because of Old Moon!

And yet people have audacity to just be so upset because Sun can't take it anymore?!

Moon brought it on himself.. that's true.. and in today's episode he just crossed every possible line.. he didn't only act like Old Moon at worst times but also like hallucination of Old Moon that Sun saw..

Well.. the only thing that is cruel is Sun saying computer to shock Moon but at the same time.. maybe these shocks will change something in this stupid dense head of this mf..

I'm sure that Sun doesn't want Moon to do anything stupid.. I still think he cares actually and that's why Moon's words hurt him.. he just tries to act like he's past that but that's just bullshit..

Also nothing can excuse Moon's bullshittery! Nothing! Cause while delusions and hallucinations are scary af no one should just be a jerk because of that.. and it's actually not that Moon said a bit of mean words.. what he told Sun today is too far..

I'd beat the crap out of Moon and I hope that Old Moon will do just that.. seriously..

Like "I can't sit and do nothing cause it won't fix anything. It won't change how I feel".. and being a jerk will change something?! Or trying to kill someone will?! Vsjsndjdkkssks Fuck you, Moon!

Literally! Moon can only suck like a loser because "boo hoo poor me, it's all my fault but I'll just cry about it cause I'm a loser"!

I- I'm mad.. I just.. I can imagine how awful Sun feels with all of this.. but idk if I'm fine with doing analysis on that rn..

I'm sorry if it's a bit too much in your opinion.. let me know but I.. hate when people try to excuse their actions because of their mental state.. and Moon is doing exactly that..

I explained already how it was different with Sun so I'm not going to do that again.. what Moon told Sun about not being able to handle killing Bloodmoon was so fucking low..

Thinking about it makes my blood boil..

[allseeinganalyst]

PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT GOBUL I LOVE THEM TO PIECES OH MY GOD...

Sure!

I really *like* Goku x Bulma. I think there is a very sweet “childhood friends to lovers” aspect behind them, and Bulma shows a lot of concern and love for him as a friend that I think translates into more quite easily.

To be clear I’m NOT on the Chi-Chi hate train, because I think there are valid af reasons for her acting the way she does because of who she is as a person. There are times when she is annoying, yes, but these are exaggerated and flanderized to stupid levels by “fans” (and also by the show itself from time to time — the Cell Games arc springs to mind).

The thing is, I think because of who Bulma is, these things would just… not be present. Chi-Chi needs Goku to work and her kids to study because that’s the idyllic family life she wants and you do need to work to make money to live, even in the weird, quasi-feudal world of Dragon Ball.

But that problem… doesn’t exist for Bulma. She’s like…Tony Stark. She’s heir and later president of Capsule Corp, she’s the richest woman on the planet. Vegeta doesn’t work or do chores, why would he? So… Goku would be free to live the life he wants AND live it with his lifelong friend. I don’t remember it being mentioned that she’s an incredible cook for him like Chi-Chi, but who cares, she’ll just hire fuckin’ Dragon Ball Gordon Ramsay to cook for him every night. Or she’ll build a robot that can do it. She’s Bulma, she’ll manage.

I also think Goku would be affectionate back to her. First off, he does like spending time with his wife in canon and gets a little sweet with her, so Super’s odd notion that he doesn’t know what kissing is aside, I think we can assume he can be affectionate. Maybe not MASSIVELY so, but he can be.

Secondly moments with that are often undercut with Chi-Chi being angry for comedic reasons. See the Flanderization of her character I mentioned above. And while I do think that’s still going to happen with Bulma—she can whine rant and bitch with the best of ‘em and I love her so much for it — there’s going to be… less of that? To a degree? Goku coming in from training will probably be met with a “GO SHOWER, YOU STINK” but there likely won’t be too much upset about mud or setting a bad example for his son. She’ll watch him go and admire how hot her husband looks.

That brings me to the main reason I like to muse about this pairing — in Dragon Ball, when couples hook up, they have kids. Every major main character couple has done it. So obviously “Gohan” would be born to Bulma.

See, after Bulma, Trunks is my favourite Dragon Ball character. Specifically his future self, but I liked grown up GT Trunks too (in theory)… so thinking about the character that would replace him gets me thinking…

I’m imaging a son (though a Daughter would be cool AF but anyway…) and I like to think they’d be called a play on “Fundoshi” (traditional Japanese Underwear) or “Mawashi” (Sumo Wrestler Underwear) or something that blends the Asian Mythology from Goku with the Underwear theming of Bulma… or we could just call him “Singlet” or hell… maybe he’s just “Trunks”— I think it’s obvious Bulma isn’t that interested in letting her husbands name their kids (see Super with Bulla/Bra).

And he fundamentally changes just about every part of DBZ and Super when you think about it. Namek especially. But all of it. And you gotta think while the kid WILL have a study program it’s gonna be so different to Chi-Chi’s “HIT THE BOOKS” approach, and Bulma would for sure be like:

“Huh? What? Yeah sure sweetie, go train with Dad. Mom needs to finish fixing this perpetual energy generator. Here, actually, take the radar and tell Dad he needs to bring me the Dragon Balls! Call it a boys day out! Father-Son bonding!… Mamma needs a facelift anyway…”

It’s that. That gets me. That question: “What would be different about this series of Bulma and Goku had a kid instead of Gohan existing?”

I’ll spare you my thoughts on that but basically I think Bulma and Goku would make not just a cute, but very interesting couple narratively.

[jonismitchell]

Please go into detail on your feelings. And why you knew he reciprocated him. That Deja vu reaction is sketchy af

of all the MANY smoking guns in this situation i think her blocking me over deja vu is the biggest one like i posted it a few days after the skiing thing, didn't necessarily have to be related, i had my own romantic commitments i could be talking about. also the way she reacted to my apology if i'd infringed on their relationship in any way was soooo suspicious i wish i kept a record of the texts. anyway

basically there was a period of time where i had genuine romantic feelings for him and wanted to date him, but that was basically all contained in september 2019 and january 2023. outside of these times i had no desire to date him whatsoever, i loved him like a friend. now i just feel really hurt and betrayed by someone who was so close to me and so unwilling to cop to having any part to play in the quasi-romantic nature of our relationship. like literally homoerotic bestie who just happened to be a guy.

like i remember coming back from hanging out with him january 2023 when we almost kissed (he leaned down, he looked at my lips, i'm nottttt stupid i replayed it a thousand times) and my friend telling me "that's not your first date, that's the first date you've been on since he broke up with his girlfriend."

he affirmed to me 3 million times he would choose me over any girlfriend. they were temporary i was forever. i'd jokingly flirt with him in front of other people—usually to conceal whatever crush i had at the time—but when we were on the phone (we called almost every. single. day. in high school) he'd call me beautiful and comment on wanting to see me bend over. we'd have really late night conversations about sex/desire/etc. we spent hours arguing about whether you should tell your best friend you were in love with them, thinly veiled metaphors for the two of us. he recorded all of wuthering heights for me as an audiobook (lost the usb). he never let me pay for anything in restaurants. we hung out one on one all the time. he told me i was his favourite person. he'd regularly hang up on his girlfriends to talk to me—i'd say hey, are you sure? and he'd defer. he'd drop literally everything if i was upset. the month before he ghosted me he told me, when i joked about our friendship being on thin ice, that i needed him as much as he needed me.

he took a 5am train to see me for three hours the last time we met. we had our spots, our traditions, you know the type. once on the phone he said he loved the sound of my chewing because it was so methodical and consistent. he was jealous of any guy i was interested in—like i said, he'd pick physical fights—and drifted from me when i started dating someone non-binary seriously. after we broke up he said he never thought they were good enough for me and he never had an answer for who was. there were a million things. i think it boils down to 'i'm not fucking stupid and everyone saw it.'

honestly, if i were his girlfriend, i'd hate me too.

[sohmiya]

Nikka! I’m crying and banging my head against the wall at how talented you are when it comes to songwriting because I could neverr have the skill set 😫 however I do have angst & Evren lyrics for you <3 (they’re shit though so don’t perceive me!!)

Less angsty to start with—after Second Coming and Evren meet and become friends, I see him happily name-dropping them in their new song (I’d like to think the song is just a fun vibe, it’s currently title-less though):

More angsty! Evren going to the studio at like 3am after that ‘breakup’ argument with Max, and he’s hurt and pissed off.

I imagine he called Cypress on the way there because ✨rant about the girl you love to your best friend✨ and Ev’s all like “Cy, you’re awake!” “I’m more worried that you are” “it’s cute you’re concerned about me, I’m driving to the studio anyway” “why…? Evren, wait, are you still hung up over Maxine? you can come over and we can chat, my siblings are asleep” and Cypress is genuinely upset and concerned bc he’s seen Evren heartbroken before “Cy, as much as I’d love that, I do need to let some frustrations out”

He calls his band and FaceTime’s them whilst he’s at the studio too—and they all pretty much know about Max and him—but also that when any of them call each other at stupid o’clock it means that there’s a song idea brewing.

Obvs had to name the song after their ship name:

I imagine when he performs this on stage that the fans sing back the bits that are in italics.

And when he has to go on talk shows and social media and promote the song, the question he gets every single time is “who’s the pretty red head?”, and he’ll just genuinely smirk and come up with witty answers like “well, listening to the song won’t be fun if I tell you”

And when nice interviewers ask how he’s doing I imagine him saying, “oh, yeah, I’m okay now. it happened, I wrote a successful song about it, and the good things I said about her are true and that won’t change”

But also him being nervous af to contact Maxine bc she could absolutely hate the song and he’d be ready to apologise for the argument in the first place, but he’d text after a few days like ‘hey, are we good? x’ and then like another one an hour later like ‘by any chance, do you know if your ex hates me??’

MILA SHUT UPPPPP OH MY GOD

no wait cause after the second coming name drop i can imagine max hitting evren up as soon as she hears the song and tease him like “if you wanted to collab all you had to was ask” NDJSJSKSKSK and the tennis references mhm i think he did it for me 😌🥂

and oh my god the cypress cameo 🥹 my favorite boys talking about love problems 🥹 no cause you don’t understand. i love ev’s friendship with everyone but his bond with cy just sits SOOOO right with me. it’s like cy acts like a big brother to him and evren acts like a cool uncle to the mini de veras <3

“i could never have the skill set” NOT YOU LYING TO MY FACE AS IF THE LYRICS OF SOMEWHERE THIS WORKS DONT FUCKING SLAP ?????????

knows i’m better than her ex, ain’t even talkin bout the sex

like after every ride we weren’t fucking high and she hits me with “we should be friends”

SHADE HER EVREN!!!!!! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!!!!!! HDJSSKKSSJ PLS IM GOING INSANE OVER THESE LINES ACTUALLY

and the miracles verse….. “prayed to lady jesus in church”……… i just know your pen was on fire like i’m not kidding i wish i wrote that verse i’m gonna steal your brain

and the “calm during our storms” he really said OUR 😭😭😭😭😭😭

evren acevedo if things also don’t work out with miko i’m single and ready to mingle

But also him being nervous af to contact Maxine bc she could absolutely hate the song and he’d be ready to apologise for the argument in the first place, but he’d text after a few days like ‘hey, are we good? x’

i don’t think maxine could be pissed at him calling her out at the “we should be friends” line even if she tried like. she’d be impressed tbh 😭😭😭😭 like she would reply with a spotify screenshot with stw on repeat then she’d quote that line in the first verse to him and go “YOU DID NOT” NDNSMSKS but before evren could think she was serious she’d send another text “JK YES WE’RE GOOD EVREN THIS IS SOOOO GOOD” and considering the emotional weight of the argument that inspired the song, maxine 100% would stop herself from making a joke about how he “prayed to lady jesus in church” because she definitely had him kneeling a few times 🫢 sdhdjskkaks

‘by any chance, do you know if your ex hates me??’

HE’S SOOOOO 😭😭😭 the contrast between the wild ace and evren is so funny yet so endearing to me he’s such a cutie pie <333

max would say something like “idk and idc. i like you- *backspacebackspacebackspacebackspace* “idk and idc”

[megbonney]

this year has felt way too fast because i realise for 80% of it i was getting mentally rotted by men. let's do a wrapped (of the ones i haven't forgotten).

EBF: first bf for like 2 years. i cut off my best friend under his influence. tried to convince me they were grooming me. tried to convince me i wasn't genderfluid. tried to get his therapist to therapise me. tried to get me to see a therapist. dropped out of school and had virtually no ambition. i had to pretend to be straight infront of his friends. accused me of cheating on him with one of said friends. i felt like he was cheating on me with my "friend" at the time. i had no one besides him. he was attached to me like a parasite and i hated it. dumped him. couldn't handle just staying friends. also killed my self image. went celibate after. oh and he went thru my dms bc that's totally normal. cancer man. 2. RICHIE RICH: was into him during "friends" stage with EBF. met on ow but never really played together. went to a private roman catholic school. led me on. sent me music recs but they were too indie for my teen angst at the time. "friend" made me let her follow him bc she's weird. he didn't see anything wrong with it despite my discomfort. got sick of it bc he was stringing me on and blocked me for being upset. also was confused as to why i wasn't able to go shopping every wknd and didn't understand why i wanted a job bc he was privileged and had an allowance. i tried to meet up but he folded. followed me back on insta 2 or so weeks ago. we haven't spoken. goofy 3. COWORKER: met at first shift. i called him pretty bc that's the only word to rlly describe him and he told other coworkers i tried to ask him out. shorter than me. played war thunder. was really sweet at first. suddenly had coworkers asking if i'd date him. realised he was running his mouth. we watched fury and bladerunner 2077 together. began going dry after i told him i was moving. started being a dickhead. started telling coworkers i was a lesbian. i tried to sort it out but he tried to gaslight me about it. i think he quit atp. good riddance 3. NARC: 23 or 21 yr old man idk. bastion main. had a gf i didn't know abt. treated me like a gf. had an entire fake life. claimed to be a "narcissist and compulsive liar." talked abt his ex the entire time. very degrading. i found his ig and he was actually ugly af. only good thing was that he wasn't codependent. ghosted him after he went dry on me when i got my period. msged his gf and it's been like a month or two without a response. he bought me nitro tho so that was sick. 4. FURRY: was friends with him at the same time as NARC. he also knew about COWORKER because it was roughly right as we met. wanted to be a musician and twitch streamer. 19. balding. had a mommy kink but tried to make me sub. gained feelings for me. i friendzoned him. then he tried to say he was in love a week later. he was parasite #2. friends with MANCHILD. double texted all the time. gooner. cut him off. tried to create tension between fig and i. into the weirdest shit i've ever seen. objectified me. genuinely liked oliver tree. also bought me nitro. 5. MANCHILD: turned 20 like last week. had a gf. never hung out with her. spent everyday hanging out with fig and i. was too stupid so him and fig argued often. tried to make me mediate. most stressful time of yr. i bought him 2 games and he lied to his gf about where he got them from. he also lied about why he got rdr2. backseat gamed everything. whiny. asked me how many fingers i could fit on vc at 2am. also asked me if i'd ever have a 4sum with fig . is now insisting i trapped him because i told people about what happened. 6. CURRENTLY: nothing! i probs forgot some things but a funny thing to note was that i know every guy on this lists' names and most info about them. it was also hard because i wanted to keep all of them approx the same length. happy 2023 ?

[hoghtastic]

Anon:

Wtf are you even talking about🤷‍♀️🙄😂

You are just speculating yourself.

You don’t know Johanne or Alex either. (But you probably think you do. And that they really are your “friends”🙄)

You don’t know how long Alex and Johanne have actually been dating.

You don’t know how “close” Alex is to all of the people that Johanne has been desperate to follow.

You have no idea if Jo has met all of those people “more than once” prior to following them.

No anon, you sound “crazy” and “weird af.” What you are doing is “insane”. Continuing to “defend” 2 people that you don’t even know like your life depends on it is just……………….Continuing to get upset about some anonymous people not liking them is just……………….😬👀🤔🤭🤢 Who cares🤷‍♀️

So you haven’t created a “fake personality” for Johanne? You are “right about everything”? You are just giving us the “facts”🤷‍♀️😆

Girl, it’s ok. We get it. You are just another ass kissing stan🤷‍♀️ You “love” Alex and Johanne. You are living vicariously through them. You are desperate to “defend” them. And you want them to be seen as “victims”.

But please stop using the same lame/boring/laughable/bull**** reasons as to why some people don’t like Johanne. Yes anon, we are all just “jealous” of Johanne and can’t handle that he now has a girlfriend🙄😆 And now you have added the “snooze post” as another reason (along with 2 other reasons that I don’t think you explained). Why do you think the “snooze post” is the “main reason”? Are you serious😆 Johanne has been disliked long before that post. But I think you know that🙄 You are not fooling anyone. You are deliberately trying to reduce everything down to 1 stupid IG post.

And please stop the fake complaining about “respecting Alex’s privacy”🙄 Fans have been posting pics/vids from Alex’s friend’s public & private accounts for years. This is nothing new. Message them if you truly have a problem with it. But I don’t think you really do. You are just trying to find any reason to complain about what is being said on this blog. It’s very obvious. The pic of the back of Alex’s head was posted by one of his friends who has a public IG. And Alex does follow him. Get your “facts” straight. The pic was posted on a few IG fan pages as well. Stop acting like this blog is doing some wrong, new or surprising. Btw, Alex started distancing himself from IG/not posting that much and not allowing random people to tag him anymore in 2019 or 2020. Long before he started dating Johanne and this blog was created. Of course you know that too. But I’m not surprised that you want the narrative to be that Alex doesn’t post that much only because he recently started dating Johanne, this blog and because his fans are so “hateful”.🙄 Girl, this is just embarrassing and pathetic. But nice try🤷‍♀️

Stop reading the blog if you can’t handle it. You are not going to stop people from not liking Johanne, no matter how many asks you send in “defending” Alex and Johanne. Or how many names you call everyone. But you will probably continue. It’s obvious that you and the other stans love it. You all love the attention. And “defending” your “King” & “Queen” . You just can’t control yourselves😂 But that’s ok! We will continue to respond😊😉

Anon to anon. 😉

(Thank you for your input on this matter! 😊 I’d just like to add that whenever they send asks “defending” Johanne, they aren’t even doing a great job… all they say is that people who dislike her are wrong, yet fail to provide reasons as to why we should actually like her… is it just because she’s dating Alex? 😅 Because right now we’ve all seen solid proof of her having some questionable attitudes, but everyone who “defends” and “loves” her can’t contradict them with good things she’s done and/or stood up for, for example. You know, things that would make someone actually like and admire a person? 🤷‍♀️)

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 28: Five Things

I was going to write today but then I procrastinated way too long and now it's late and I need to get SOME sleep. It's always so easy when you're just thinking hypothetically of putting words on the page. Then it's impossible. Then you actually do it and it's not that bad! A constant cycle. I'm pretty down about it because of how my vacation worked out. Well anyway, maybe tomorrow.

New furniture for the reading room has finally started to come in. We only finished clearing it in June. I don't know, I'm so upset about pretty much every aspect of this project, I'll always be hurt by it, it doesn't even matter if it turns out "okay in the end." Also, even though the furniture I saw looked interesting, it's, first, not stacks, which is what I think should be in the room, second, completely unrelated to the otherwise coherent style of the library, and third, possibly still awful depending on the Texture of the items, which is yet to be determined.

I'm trying to re-organize, yet again, for no real reason, my writing projects--this time primarily because I want a Physical Object to flip through. Anyway this is going pretty well so far except I'm realizing that I have old notes I can't find... and I can only assume they're handwritten in some old notebook (old = anything pre-plague) and I am just... ugh, how will I find them? I need a secretary.

I've been trying to get myself together for these last three weeks (three weeks only!!) of work before my two week vacation, which mostly involves various lists. And a calendar! I feel like half the stuff that's supposed to be on the work agenda simply won't happen, but that it will also be beyond my control. Trying not to have any feelings about that. My stuff is mostly figuring out gifts.

Yet again the mail room/library mail area situation is causing Vague Drama around me. I hate to be this person but I think literally everyone involved in this, and also the Dean, who is not involved but who I do ultimately blame tbqh, should get in a room for an hour and pool information/assumptions because the communication is so absolutely wretched that this stupid af thing is still causing headaches months after I first predicted it would cause headaches. Look, I love being vindicated (love it!) but when people have passive aggressive fights and I end up in the middle it is less fun. And it's getting old. I canNOT believe how much breath I have wasted on something that sounds as stupid as it is: the fucking mail.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Why have the past few days been so hard I don't even understand. It's like I know all of the tools to help myself and heal, but like sleeping for example. I know I need to get enough sleep but I keep waking up extremely upset and it's ruining my mornings. I know I need to eat better but I barely have an appetite. I'm on my period and I absolutely fucking hate it. I think I may have some period-related distress disorder or something because this just can't be normal. I wish there was something I could take like an aspirin but instead of pain it would alleviate ridiculous mood swings. My period makes me feel so out of control of my body and so uncomfortable. I'm glad I have found a way to skip it for the most part, but then when I do have one it's 20x worse!!?? So either have it a quarter of the year being a nuisance or 4x a year but terrible?? Idk fml. I feel like a fucking teenager again which is 100% not my fucking speed. I am grown I want to act grown in so tired of bs people and bs situations and bs "how things should go" when it comes to social situations. I don't know how to fucking date anymore and I feel like so FUCKED UP from this past relationship. I'm so used to wringing myself dry, squeezing every drop of myself into someone just to get completely fucked over and forgotten about. I can't do that shit again. But if it's not 100%, what the fuck is it?? 10% 20% 50%? I can't imagine giving 50% of myself to someone I don't fucking know. Maybe like 5% haha. That's expendable, but is that enough to garner anything serious?? Or just a bunch of bs????? Help me please anyone 🙃

7:41am seriously coming to terms with how fucked up my last relationship was. And coming to terms with the fact that it has fucked me uP. I do need therapy tbh that would be an investment for me this year. Idc if it's through the school or not their wait-list is so stupid and long.

I want to be around more women this year, men are just making me lose my fucking mind.

7:21pm just got off of another last minute shift! I called him earlier until he finally picked up bc I can't understand his weird ass games. And weird ass games is 100% correct. He said he "silently cried" in public at his gfs parents house last night bc they kept playing songs that remind him of me.... Bro wtf... I literally don't know what to say to that shit. Then I confronted him about why he took me off everything so abruptly and he basically said that everyone else told him to. He just does whatever everyone else tells him to do, he's such a loser. Then he said that anytime his phone goes off, calls or texts, he gets anxious bc he thinks it's me calling him?? Apparently I make him so anxious now... bc he was the dumb one to get such a paranoid gf a week after we broke up, apparently I'm still the cause of numerous fights between them... Literally tho this is 100% NOT MY FAULT. YOU CANNOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT BLAME ME FOR WANTING YOU AFTER YOU TELLING ME REPEATEDLY THAT YOU WANTED ME AND THAT YOU REGRETTED EVERYTHING. HE'S LITERALLY A FUCKING CRAZY NARCISSIST PUSSY BITCH.

I'm fully convinced that he's a narcissist now bc goddamn ALWAYS HE IS THE VICTIM!!!!! This shit is unbelievable!!!!! I don't ever see us getting back together bc like I said previously, the respect is GONE. On top of being an asshole, he literally has no fucking balls and just takes his fragile ego out on anyone he thinks he can treat like shit/ less than him. Goddamn I feel bad for that girl but on the other hand, she gets what she deserves !!! She can have your crazy ass I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's like he's reverting backwards too, really acting like a brat ass teenager again, love triangles and generally NOT BEING A MAN AT ALL. Literally he acts like a child with no emotional regulation and it's sad af honestly. It's really just sad. That's why I cry. Not because I miss him, but bc I feel bad that he really is such a fuckup and I thought I could help him. I cry for my own grieving, overly kind heart that I gave to someone so fucking helpless. Beyond help at this point bc there's so many fucking people ENABLING HIS BEHAVIOR. I am literally outnumbered by stupid fucking idiots who think this shit is acceptable. I simply cannot. Good luck bro.

[kopicetic]

Mini update time: I agreed to date him.

I don't know, we have had some massive blow up fights recently that leave us both crying and they're always over his inability to communicate and my shitty hair trigger temper.

This is something that I'm aware of and am actively trying to work on. Usually what happens is that it's just him not telling me something, like that he's been struggling with some issues lately that have affected our sex life. Which I fucking adore this man idk. He's one of my best friends. The problem is I need physical intimacy along with emotional shit, without the physical stuff the emotional side begins to fade for me. If I feel unwanted physically, I cannot be emotionally attached and I am likely to leave.

This normally hasn't been an issue since I have huge issues with intimacy and trust and actively run from actual relationships lol. Like ya girl is fucking turning 35 this year (🤦🏻‍♀️😭🤮) and he is the first actual boyfriend I've ever had because yikes.

He's also the only dude I've ever liked enough to even try with.

I mean I feel like we've had some break-throughs each fight? Lol. One is that we have dramatically different views to fighting. For me, my temper flares up hella fast and like the hounds of Hell are about to swallow you whole, but just as quick it's over and I'm horny af and angry makeup sex is the best etc.

He just feels miserable, wants to cry alone, is so far removed from the idea of even attempting sex, feels drained, etc. Which just means I need to adjust my thinking a bit here. It's been a cycle for me because fighting is almost like foreplay for me. We fight, I'm in the mood, I make a move, he rejects me, I get madbro all over again. But knowing how he feels just means I can switch up my reactions. Ideally we wouldn't fight at all, I fucking hate fighting with him.

One of the reasons he gets super drained is because I selfishly refuse to let him leave before we reach a resolution. He starts being like "It doesn't matter, you've made up your mind, blah blah" and I'm like "No. I want you to explain yourself." The idea of leaving stuff unresolved so we can pick up fighting in the morning sounds horrible to me. I don't know, the idea of leaving him when we're both mad and upset just seems so fucking terrible to me.

Then he explains himself and how shit I've done makes him feel. Some of it is valid. Sometimes, it's anxiety related, he convinces himself that something is true when it's not even remotely the case. The valid stuff I've made note of, realize how I've fucked up, and actively try to stop that kind of toxic bullshit. When it's anxiety driven, I explain what it really is or try and figure out why it comes across that way, etc.

So I don't know, I don't want to keep fighting him over stupid shit but I feel like these previous verbal blow-ups have helped us reach a deeper and better understanding?

Like he's hella introverted. Has no friends really, hates talking to people. We met through Pokémon Go, and they do a weekly hour where it spawns in only legendary raids and since I'm like literally the polar opposite (I'll talk to anyone, I'm happiest when I'm the center of attention and surrounded by people lol) raid hour for me is to catch up with my other Pogo friends, talk to people, hang out, see them face to face, etc. One of my pogo friends always has ridden with me for that.

He goes but he's always super salty because he hates that it can't just be me and him. He hates that I talk to my friends about emotional issues or even anything at all. I mention having a conversation with someone about *topic* and he makes all these loaded comments about how he guesses he's just too stupid for me to talk about whatever with him. Some other friends of mine and I started doing that Hunt A Killer thing to try and have more regular friend time and he suggested we just buy it ourselves and solve them all together because my friends are too dumb to pick up on shit.

The very fact that I've made any personal posts about him at all would DEEPLY upset him, but like I can't keep everything bottled up. I'm not sharing details so idk.

But like the whole thing is that we've realized that, because he's not a talker, has no friends (the four people he lists off that he speaks to are me, his dog, his son, and his dad) BY CHOICE, and struggles to open up to anyone means that he finds our conversations romantically and emotionally fulfilling. They make him feel bonded and intimate and like we're being super close. Even our text messages have that effect for him.

I literally talk to people all day lol, I have my group chat bubble open at all times, I'm constantly texting and DMing and snapping people, talking is just a thing I do lol, it's like a basic level bodily function with me lol, without talking to people I'd die. 🤣🤣🤣

It doesn't make me feel close to him. It's not intimate. It doesn't replace being able to physically touch his skin or wind my fingers in his hair or have sex with him or anything like that. Not even close. Kissing and cuddling feel way too intimate for me, I always used to have a no kissing rule because it feels more personal than sex but I make out with this man all the time because at least we're physically close and I can feel his heart beat and hear him breathe. Post-coital cuddling is one of my least favorite things to do and I deal with it for him.

So Idk, I feel like this new understanding is massive. We get each other more.

I don't even know where I was going with this post lol. Anyway he was really drunk and I was just pretty drunk when I told him I'd actually date him if he promised to tell me shit and that I would focus on methods of toning down the spontaneous rage. I'm kinda hoping he forgot because honestly we fight over the same shit constantly. Telling him we could be in a relationship feels like a stopgap, a desperate attempt to make this trainwreck work.

I don't get what massive difference calling him my boyfriend and him getting to tell his family about his girlfriend makes. I didn't understand. But it's super important to him and also his self esteem so like maybe it will work from an anxiety reducing standpoint.

And he opened up a bit all on his own today, told me about feeling depressed. He failed his classes last semester, something I feel hella guilty about, and it's been fucking with him, but then he said "You're worth failing for. " Bruh, no one is worth mortgaging your future over. He chose to spend time with me over focusing on school because he cared more about going places with me and getting to kiss me and hold hands than he did on maintaining his 4.0 I just. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ That doesn't help me feel any less guilty tbh.

Anyway this was so fucking long, if anyone actually read this whole thing then goddamn.

[shinydixon]

Thank you… Last night I went to a house party at a friends house, he and I have been friends since we were at school and our friendship has survived yeeeeears. He's hot af and I've always had a little crush on him, but this past year we've been spending more time together and my feelings for him have gotten deeper but I don't want to act on it because I don't want to ruin our friendship, but we've got a really flirty friendship, he's lovely and I really treasure him as a friend and I wish I didn't feel this way about him. I took my ex-roommate who I'm 'best' friends with to the party last night, they've met a handful of times before but haven't spent much time together and the three of us spent most of the evening together and I went to get us some more drinks and got distracted for a while talking to another friend and when I got back they'd gone and one of our other friends said they went upstairs to 'talk'. It made me feel really sick because I'm not stupid and I know what was going on above my head and so I just went home and cried lol. She's been messaging me on and off all day… at first she messaged me to say she's sorry she got distracted last night and she hopes I got home okay and I just left her on read and she's messaged a few times more asking if I'm coming out tonight and then she finally called me out for leaving her on read so I felt like I had to talk to her. I stupidly asked her what happened last night and she started gushing about him and how nice he is and I asked if they'd slept together and she said they had and that she knows I kind of like him and she's sorry but she's really attracted to him too and so she took her chance and acted on it, but she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Like… I just feel really shitty because I know that he doesn't like me like that or he wouldn't have fucked her last night and I can't force him to like me like that but I feel like really fucking betrayed?? Not by him, by her, because she knew I liked him. I said that I probably wouldn't come out tonight and that I also don't want to ruin our friendship, so suggested that maybe we take a break from each other for a little bit, which I thought was a reasonable request, because I just… don't want to see her… And she got really upset with me and accused me of being jealous and pretending I like him more than I actually do to make her feel bad and 'gatekeep him'. And so I just stopped replying and now she keeps messaging me begging me to come out tonight because she really didn't mean to hurt me and telling me she hates herself and she feels dead inside, so now I'm wondering if I should just go??? I know he's gonna be there too and I'm probably going to have to see them all over each other but I hate that I've made her feel this way.

Sorry but if she knew you liked him and slept with him anyway, she's not a real friend.

I know it sounds stupid but there is a very clear unspoken code between friends which is "don't sleeo/kiss/flirt with the guy your friend likes OR with your friend's ex".

I think you should talk about it with her, 1 on 1, you have to say the same things you told me, which is, that your feelings for him are way deeper than she thinks, try to make her understand that what she did really hurted you. If she decides to pursue him anyway then it's just a big fuck you to you and, for this reason, you should tell her to go fuck herself.

I did what she did to you in high school, I knew my "friend" liked a guy that liked me but I didn't know she really REALLY liked him. She obviously got mad at me and we talked and when I realized I fucked up, I choose our friendship.

If she's a real one, she'll chose you

[nikethestatue]

'elain makes az retreat back into his shell'

*proceeds to then ''prove'' this claim by showing scenes of how az behaved after what happened in the bonus with elain*

man i really dc if someone hates elriel but nothing boils my blood more than when they choose to take things COMPLETELY out of context for another one of their stupid reaches. az was very frustrated and upset because he really wants elain however his high lord and best friend has forbidden him from getting close to her after which he was understandably closed off. HOW IS THAT ELAIN MAKING HIM RETREAT FURTHER INTO HIS SHELL?! at this point sarah is gonna have to write a chapter by chapter summary in each book of what is happening bc some people choose to be stupidly oblivious on purpose.

Isn't it exactly the opposite??? Absolutely everything he is generally uncomfortable with--touch, emotions, warmth, display of affection--he does with Elain? He hates his hands, yet he can't stop touching her with them and she doesn't care about them at all. He doesn't want anyone to know that he bought Elain a present, and even though he says himself that he wasn't sure if he should give it to her, he does. He can't help himself. They joke together, they tease Nessian, and he himself states that Elain understands him wordlessly, without him needed to say anything out loud--she just knows.

Is that the meaning of him being in his shell?

He was pissed at Rhys, not at Elain. Nothing changed with him and his feelings. He was pissed at himself for telling Elain that 'this was a mistake' and seeing how crushed she was.

These are really not complicated deductions from the text.

And then he flew to HOW and proceeded to lie to Gwyn for 30 minutes.

So yeah, she really helps him come out of his shell!

Suppose him being glum AF, withdrawn and silent days after Solstice is also an indication of how much Gwyn helped him come out of his shell.

Well, all of these 'opinions' are nothing if not entertaining!