#I have a bunch of 8 week classes ending rn so idk when this will be finished

[frogs-with-tea]

a little preview of my current wip :)

doing my take on the "younger zosan meeting older zosan"

[swaglet]

How did you make friends?

I'm kinda weird like you and I have aspergers and it's so hard for me to make friends and maintain friendships

UNDER DA CUT BECAUSE I STARTED YAPPING. THIS SHIT IS LONG. BUT I GOT U NONNIE

honestly i'm 100% with u on the "maintaining friendships" struggle... i love my friends sm but maintaining our relationship like hanging out regularly and having average conversations (idek what that means) has never come naturally to me and people worry i don't like them or that i'm ignoring them so i have to let them know that i just go MIA a lot and my favorite thing to do to communicate with people i like is to tell them about my day and then show them things i think are funny that i have on my phone. i always get the "i miss you we need to hang out more :(" from everybody so this summer i've really been working hard on making plans (even if it's just driving down to a cafe or a public beach at a dam and hanging out going for a walk) with my friends every so often and following thru with those plans. ever since i was little i have ALWAYS always struggled sooo hard with the maintenance part i wish i had more advice but honestly the best way i've found to mitigate that is sending them memes and things that make you think of them, and then every so often being like "do you want to go do this thing we like to do when we're both free" and stick with it. it can be completely free like just go drive around and go to walmart and touch the stuff on the shelves and laugh. this is the hardest part for me. i lose so many friends to my lack of maintaining friendships and seeming like i'm completely disinterested when i 100% am not and don't know how to appropriately ask people to hang out or do friend things (like. how often is normal, what activities are normal for friends, etc. but i try not to worry about it and just be myself). if anyone has better advice about this than me feel free to add on

for me i don't struggle as much with making friends as i do with keeping them, i can't tell if it's either me just ending up not clicking with someone after i get to know them better and we don't fit well so i drift away and keep them at acquaintance level, or if i do actually like them and am just kind of inept at remembering how & when to plan hangouts and how & when to communicate with friends in the proper way, but it's probably a mix of both for sure. to make friends i just go about my daily life and do whatever i would normally do, like go to class (which involves a lot of entomology and ecology stuff), go to rehearsal for band and theater and choir, and other stuff that i am passionate about and interested in.

the "DO STUFF YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT AND INTERESTED IN" has been a very important part for me because by just being in a place doing something i'm interested in, there is a high chance that other people who share my interests will also be there. my bug classes are full of people who like to go outside and run around in the grass with bug nets and catch & identify bugs. i actually met one of my best friends rn through my intro entomology & plant systematics classes that i was taking sophomore year and we are still friends to this day and after we both graduate we will both be working on a local restoration project together, because back then we bonded over our passion for natural habitat restoration & educating the public and we figured why not work together on that. most of my other friends come from being in band and choir because we spend a lot of time together (at least 8 hours per week every single day) and when you're in a band with like 30 people you all eventually talk to each other, especially if you're really good at what u play and ppl come to u asking for advice.

idk if this is cringe or not but another thing i do is like, i put little trinkets of things i like onto my bags. just on my lanyard, i have a bunch of things: a drumstick keychain charm, a ferret decal keychain charm, a pikachu figurine keychain charm, another mallet charm specifically for the steel drums i play that my hs director made for all of us. i sometimes have a pokemon card in my phone case and i also have stickers from The Last Of Us inside my phone case as well. and i have a bunch of stickers on my laptop and my water bottle and a bunch of pins and keychains on my bookbag as well of stuff that i like. people will come up to me or be sitting near me and say "hey, i really like that thing too!" or "what is that thing (steel drum mallet) on your keys?" and then it opens an opportunity for a somewhat easy conversation. i do this to people all the time; "hey i saw your butterfly pin on your bag, i think it's really cute! where did you get it?" and sometimes they just aren't interested in talking and that's ok but sometimes other people ARE interested and then you guys talk. one of my current best friends is someone i met in band camp; he was wearing a The Last Of Us shirt, it was his very first week on campus as a new freshman at our meet and greet bonfire, and he unfortunately had his blood sugar drop super low and he got really sick and had to sit down, so i sat down with him and made sure he was ok, and i always carry apple juice in my car and snacks in my bag like peanut butter crackers and gummies and stuff like that so i gave him some and we hung out and talked about his shirt while he sat and waited till he felt better. he also wanted to take his shoes off because he was really hot but didn't want to be weird so i was like "do it bro make yourself comfortabe, i'll take my shoes off with you if it makes you feel better" so then we were just sitting in the grass with our dawgs out. Bonding experience. anyways moral of the story is have things that you're interested in and ppl might ask u about them. i also go up and ask ppl about stuff because i am way too brave. also if someone is drawing i will be like "hey not to bother you but i saw that you were drawing! mind if i sit next to you and draw too or could i see?" this one is harder to execute i will not lie but i like being around other artists

going to college and doing as many activities and joining as many clubs as you can is like a cheat code to make friends. i'm sure it's even easier if you live on campus but i commute so i'm not around people 24/7 like my friends were. i met my bf and all my close friends through band, choir, or theater and we all have just stuck. even if you don't go to college, try to join a local event like a town theater club if you're interested in that or a book club or go to like axe throwing classes or sum shit that interests you, anything you can find in town that meets regularly and is a public thing where anyone can come to and it's about shared interests. i have no idea how to be friends with people if i don't share interests with them so having that common ground to start with is like a necessary step for me Always

i like to go bird watching with my friends a lot or go bug catching with them and we bring some stuff like watermelon and sandwiches and fruit and veggies to have a little picnic while we do. just chill little hangouts like that

Umm i hope this helped. i have never been very shy not even as a kid i've always been really loud and kind of obnoxious and very interested in what other people are doing since i've been very little and i get really bored and weird when i'm alone so sometimes i just go out of my way to talk to random people and over the years i've learned how they'll respond if they don't want to speak to me so i can either keep speaking if they're fine or say bye and walk away if they aren't interested. i kind of just do my own thang and people are charmed by me so they come up to me most of the time. i love to yap so i'll yap to whoever wants to listen and then we become friends. one of the things i do to people who i've recently become friends with is send them silly pictures of birds and be like "look at this weird looking bird picture i found" and if they aren't bothered by that then we can be good friends

another thing is that like, once you make friends with one or two people they will mention you to THEIR friends who also probably like similar things and then you can express interest in meeting them as well and all hanging out together. and then it's like. Free friends!

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

Coming back to my lovely RoseMary cause whats sleep what's sanity muahahaha

1) have you heard "Stargirl Interlude by Lana"? That's the song that reminds me of them

2) I actually have no idea how tf they'll get together ngl wait nope brain is whirring. Ok so. RoseMary gets together to get back at KillerFlower (Barty/Lily) cause they each like barty and Lily respectively but it somehow ends with them actually falling for each other and idk don't ask for details my brain is not braining enough for that rn

3) Or its like a they're both the only sane ones in their groups and they bond over that?

4) They're completely opposites in such a complimentary way. Mary is very girlboss and everyone knows it while Evan has loser energy and he owns it. Mary put time and effort into everything he does while Evan is just like fuck it who cares kinda dude. Mary has a very explosive kinda personality while Evan is very quite like when they get mad Mary loses her temper very quickly but Evan just smiles at you with his teeth (it's very scary also so very hot).

5) They're both very jealous people but in very different ways. Evan is the type of guy to pull Mary into his body with an arm around her waist and he'll turn her face with the other hand to make out with her right in front of the guy flirting at her. On the other hand, Mary is the type of girl to seek out the people flirting with Evan and dish out threats.

6) WORDS MOODBOARD TIME~

Purposefully left kiss marks on Evan's neck, shared hoodies, her getting flowers for him, both of them randomly dissappearing before or after classes, smirks and winks across the great hall, a shit ton of hickies for sure, cuddles, late night conversations, shared cigarettes and beers, chapstick he carries around for her, chocolate covered strawberries (don't question it) idk I just can't see them going on like dates and stuff. I think they're the kind of couple to easily settle into being them without having to go on a bunch of dates and be cordial and stuff.

7) Mary becomes a honorary Skittle for sure cause she is always hanging around with Evan practically attached with her arms and legs around his neck and waist.

8) Evan goes to war to try and stop it from the inside for Mary. Mary wipes her memory because she can't bear to live on with only his memory anymore.

9) EPITOME OF SWITCHES

hehehe rosemary deep dive!!! so excited!!!

1. yeah, I've heard it before. ofc I have. but I could've sworn that it was by the weekend- anyway! I can totally see it omggg

2. getting together as an act of revenge (that doesn't do shit bc bartylily are just super happy for them completely oblivious to their friends' feelings. no, fr, they would be kind of confused abt where that came from but also would think that they're the last people to judge) and then one day they're laying together in Evan's bed with Mary’s head on his chest and looking up into his eyes and evan has the realistion that he's so far gone. mary realises her feelings like two weeks later when evan sees a spider and screams like a little girl, but then he sees mary and pretends to be super though, though guy

3. definitely. it plays into why they fall for each other

4. yesssss!!!!!! evan is the calm to mary’s storm (just that they're usually more like the storm before the calm. with the calm being a lot more dangerous, but you don't want to mess with either)

5. absolutely!!! mary also marks evan up every time he gets flirted with. he loves it when she does that and wears the marks with pride. I mean, he gets to show that he belongs to THE mary mcdonald, who wouldn't?

6. SSSBSISHSIB YESSSSSS MY FAVORITE 😍

7. yes. they so are. they are the couple in the friend group who just won't stop touching. second only by barty and whoever he's dating (my man is CLINGY but so is evan tbh he just get's to pretend not be bc he dates clinger people than him)

8. oh :( she wipes her memory either bc of Evan's death or evan dies bc after mary wipes her memory he has no real reason to live anymore

9. SO TRUE OMFG

thank you for sharing your ideas with me 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, January 29th, 2024!

8:00am he doesn't have any grasp of how poorly he handled money while living here. Didn't know when bills were due how much they cost and never bothered to ask. Just wanted me to keep asking him for money like a fucking bank. Does not grasp the concept of why would I ask you for money when every other week you asked me for weed money (indicating you literally didn't even have $40?). How am I supposed to turn around and ask you for bill money?

No longer my problem!! He's my friend not my problem, I'll find a partner who is willing to understand how things work OR already knows and I don't have to teach them how to be an adult! Can you imagine? I can I know there's guys out there that handle all of their own finances and that's very attractive! I want that! :) *manifesting** lol ✨✨

It's not your responsibility to explain to him what he did wrong. X 1000 queen 💅

12:14pm Checking in, just got out of class, want to get lunch and do work after! There's a bunch of teeny tiny things to do this week. It's cold outside too!! Freezing my feet and a lack of blood circulation lol.

11:43pm day kind of was a drag due to an uncoordinated group project and untimed meeting but we go on!

Weaponized incompetence! That's the word lmao, yeah she can have that! Oof idk man just doesn't sit right with me, but it's not my problem anymore! Yayyyy :) I really need to figure out how to redirect my mind when I feel like telling him some bs he did to me. I did really well and I'm proud of myself today for asking him first if he wanted to hear my rant and he said no politely lmao and I think that was smart for me. It just kind of subsided, at least enough for me to get my work done today. I just want to keep focusing on me :) always something I can be doing for myself tbh, don't really need to be doing things for an incompetent partner 😎 she can have thattt.

Tbh I feel like I'm just gonna live my whole "life" and probably not f around with settling down until I'm at least 30 and I'm cool with that lol. What's the rush, I don't want any crotch monsters so I really dgaf about all that (plus there's fostering etc). I kind of want to get off the dating/ relationship reddit stuff bc it's just not realistic tbh 😅 I don't want to compromise, I don't want to fuck around on someone else's schedule, I literally don't want someone telling me anything what to do, nothing I don't want to hear a man's opinion 😂 probably not the best time in my life to start dating haha

So yeah they always say, what do you want out of a relationship rn? Still nothing serious, I'm not serious, I would love a fwb, I would love a concert buddy, I want a happy hour buddy, club buddy, watching sports together buddy, and these really don't have to be men btw (men are low-key trash another reason I should not be dating haha bc I will be mean AF). Just vibe, my new year's resolution was to have more friends and I think I'm on the right track :) I definitely am having a healthier mindset now, making friends was not on my to-do list 3/2 months ago 👀👀 but that's what growing is about!

I feel bad that my ex isn't getting this same self growth but 🤷 what tf am I supposed to do with that info lol I guess he just perfectly knows himself..... 🤣🤡 The end.

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[xiuswoo]

85 Truths Tag

I was tagged by @fanficsrlife thank u for tagging me!!

Um again I just tag all of my mutuals I’m @ school on my phone so it’s too hard to tag everyone rn I might tag ppl later but if ur my mutual u can do this

Last

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: my mom

3. Text message: to my mom

4. Song you listened to: I can’t remember bad boy by red velvet is the last one I remember listening to

5. Time you cried: um I can’t remember probably like last week

Ever

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someome & regretted it: no lmao I’ve never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Ever been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk & thrown up: no I don’t drink

Fave colors

12. Yellow

13. Pink

14. Purple

In the last year have you

15. Made new friends: no lmao

16. Fallen in love: I mean I fall in love w every cute boy I see @ school but not rly

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no

19. Met someone who changed you: no

20. Found out who your true friends are: I mean not rly

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: no

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’m p sure it’s just ppl I went to school with and family so I think all of them

23. Do you have any pets: yes!! We have hella pets in my house but I personally have 1 dog and 1 cat

24. Do you want to change your name: I mean I wish I had a cooler name but I’m not gonna change it

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went bowling & to an arcade with my family

26. What time did you wake up today: I woke up at 5am and then went back to sleep & woke up again at 10

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was working out

28. What is something you can’t wait for: I can’t wait to go home & also I can’t wait til my 2 exo albums I ordered come in the mail

29. What are you listening to right now: my professor talking about the death penalty

30. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably ???? But not that I can remember

31. Something that gets on your nerves: when ppl walk rly slowly and take up the entire walkway

32. Most visited website: probably tumblr and YouTube

33. Hair color: blue my natural color is brown I think idk I haven’t had my natural hair color since I was like 12

34. Long or short hair: my hair is short

35. Do you have a crush on someone: no and I’m BORED

36. What do you like about yourself: I am really caring and pretty responsible and determined also physically I like my hair

37. Want any piercings: I want a bunch of ear piercings and I want to get my nose pierced again I used to have it and I had to take it out so I want it back

38. Blood type: idk

39. Nicknames: Syd & Boo

40. Relationship status: single

41. Zodiac: Leo

42. Pronouns: she/her

43. Fave tv shows: game of thrones

44. Tattoos: no I kinda want some but I’m also rly indecisive

45. Right or left handed: right handed

46. Ever had surgery: yes

47. Piercing: just one ear piercing on both ears

48. Sports: no

49. Vacation: I’ve only been on vacations to Florida

50. Trainers: idk what this means

More general

51. Eating: I have rly bad eating habits bc I’m a college student and I never have time to eat

52. Just a lot of water and coffee

53. I’m about to watch: I’m gonna watch the newest episode of Idol Producer when I get home

54. Waiting for: this class to end so I can go home

55. Want: to go home lmao

56. Get married: I want to get married just so I can wear a really pretty dress

57. Career: I want to work in fashion but I want to do several different things within that

Which is better

58. Hugs or kisses: I’m not rly sure

59. Lips or eyes: lips

60. Shorter or taller: I wish I was just a little bit shorter if this means what I like in someone I like them to be taller

61. Older or younger: older

62. Nice arms or stomach: i don’t rly have a preference

63. Hookup or relationship: relationship

64. Troublemaker or hesitant: definitely hesitant

Have you ever

65. Kissed a stranger: no

66. Drank hard liquor: no

67. Lost glasses: no

68. Turned someone down: yes

69. Sex on first date: no

70. Broken someone’s heart: not that I know of

71. Had your heart broken: no

72. Been arrested: no

73. Cried when someone died: yes

74. Fallen for a friend: no

Do you believe in

75. Yourself: yes

76. Miracles: I’m not sure

77. Love at first sight: not really

78. Santa Claus: no that was ruined for me on the school bus in elementary school thanks to my brother

79. Kiss on first date: yea if I like the person enough

80. Angels: no

Other

81. Best friends name: Dee but only I can call her that her name is actually Danyal

82. Eye color: green

83. Fave movie: um probably Moulin Rouge

84. Favorite actor: probably Ewan McGregor even tho I’ve got beef w him now

[unorthodoxsavvy]

Taggity-Tagged

Wowie so I got tagged by my friend Ginny, or @dead-nightingale to answer these 92 truths about yourself (myself). And at the end I’m going to tag 25 people.

Here we go!!

THE LAST

1. Drink: Hot Chocolate

2. Phone Call: My boyfriend last night

3. Text Message: “When I was trying to fall asleep last night, Cece was walking on my side and trying to find a spot to lay down on me. And then this morning she laid down on my stomach and I was petting her.” from my boyfriend.

4. Song You Listened To: I’m listening to “Wanting More” by Memphis May Fire.

5. Time You Cried: Sunday. 

HAVE YOU EVER

6. Dated Someone Twice: No, haha, no one makes that mistake twice

7. Been Cheated On: No

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: No.

9. Lost Someone Special: Yeah. On my birthday.

10. Been Depressed: My entire life??? Okay, kidding. But yes, I have PDD.

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: No, I don’t drink.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. Metallic silvery-blue.

13. Black

14. Aqua

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made New Friends: Only like 50, give or take.

16. Fallen Out of Love: Yeah, but not completely, and I was still willing to try and right myself because I know it was all just because of the amount of confusing things going on at the time.

17. Laughed Until You Cried: Probably?

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yeah, and I thought it was fucking hilarious.

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: Yeah................................. let’s not talk about that right now

20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: This year was the year of finding out who my true friends are lmao. And sometimes I was wrong. I’m glad my real friends pulled through despite my doubts about them.

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook: The day I own a Facebook is the day I’ll send myself to a Nunnery. 

22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life: Seriously? Let Facebook burn in the pits of hell.

23. Do You Have Any Pets: Yeah, I temporarily have a pet cat, I have an old doggo some of you might know named Bailey, I have Marian, of course, my gecko, and a fish named Vic. We used to also have Kellin but we don’t have Kellin anymore.

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: Yes. My middle name can burn in the puts of hell next to Facebook. 

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: Shit what did I do? Uhhhhhhhh.... let me ask my boyfriend. Well he doesn’t know either. OH! I remember: I made a weird cake with cookie dough and stuff and we had other cake and I went to Boston for a Teen Author convention and also my mom’s best friend died and I cried on my boyfriend a lot. I think I kind of blocked that day out of my memory.

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: 8:30ish

27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: Watching Gintama lmao

28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: WARPED TOUR, PRIDE, and LOCAL AGRICULTURE FAIRS! And for me to actually get a job.

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: Between 10-11 last night.

30. What is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: Getting a job :’) plz someone hire me :’) I know I’ve only applied like 2 places but like c’mon

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides

32. Have You Ever Talked To a Person Named Tom: Yes, I have. 

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: People flirting with other people and me whoops. Me flirting with other people. Myself. People. Trump. The not-so-slow decline of humanity. My own saltiness rn.

34. Most Visited Website: Google

35. Elementary: Like elementary school? There was cool art on the pillars outside the office. I met my best friend there and had my first kiss in elementary school. Someone threw a brick at my friend’s head. I was smol and had long blonde hair. Someone who I’m now friends with pushed me and I fractured my wrist and the school told me I was exaggerating and didn’t even tell my mom what had happened and she said that when she reached for my arm to like help me out of the car I would pull away and finally she took me to the doctor’s and found out and she was pissed at the school. I got stuck in the playground. Field Day was fun. I miss the sketch playground they had.

36. High School: 

Freshman Year

What to heck I actually have friends, I’m popularish? People don’t treat me like shit? Boys are flirting with me? I have drama? What? I’m so confused. I’m going to just stick with playing with the animals in the barn and crying over the fact I forgot to put my seatbelt on the first time on the tractor. The Golden Trio. 

Sophomore Year

First real boyfriend

Traumatic experiences ----->emo

Junior Year

I’m emo

DNT TOUCH MEH

I LIKE GIRLS??????????

Wow that fanfiction though

Wow I have a crush on a Trans Guy? Guess I really am bi

Wow I’m dating a Trans Guy (it needs to be caps in my head, sorry lol) Guess I am bi but also can we appreciate what a cute fucking bean he is???

Omg! Full time Natural Resources Student! The Dream Come True!

Depression

Anxiety

Senior Year

I hate you all

I hate you too Emory

If you don’t want to hang out with me that’s fine but don’t expect me to hang out with you.

Wow all my friends desserted me.

What friends

Oh those friends

Yeah they aren’t my friends today

Wow I’m some elite choir student

My choir teacher is still sketchy af

My natural resources teacher is actually letting us pick him out an outfit to buy at GAP.

My natural resources teacher’s wife is actually letting us browse for like an hour and 45 minutes in Barnes and Nobels looking for That Gay Shit

We didn’t find That Gay Shit but I bought a Fun. album and DAPGO so that’s pretty much the same thing

I’m pretty sure we all just outted ourselves to our teacher’s wives

Wow I’m making an album

Wow I’m not taking any real classes I’m just passing the time cuddling dogs

Wow friends from Freshman Year throwback

California is Gay

Boston wasn’t supposed to be Gay but we snuck into Pride

I cried a lot during graduation because at that point a bunch of people were horrible to me and I couldn’t take it anymore but then also my teacher got me a scholarship and I cried during that too

Let’s party and stay up at school until 5:30am

37. College/University: What’s college

38. Hair Color: 50 shades of cool colors but not green

39. Long Hair or Short Hair: Shorter than a Corgi’s tail

40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yeah, and I really wish I didn’t.

41. What Do You Like About Yourself: Gay

42. Piercings: Over my needlephobic body

43. Blood Type: Does anyone actually know this? I’d kill someone before I’d let them near enough to me to find out

44. Nickname: Savvy

45. Relationship Status: (If you didn’t get this by now, I’m dating @ancient-hero)

46. Zodiac Sign: Libra af

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Fairy Tail

49. Tattoos: I waaaaaaant but neeeeeeeeedles

50. Right or Left Hand: Righty

FIRST

51. Surgery: None

52. Piercing: Ears in 3rd grade

54. Sport: Dance

55. Vacation: Gosh idk I was probably still in the womb

56. Pair of Trainers: What? How about first pair of Converse? I like that better. My first pair of Converse was in like 6th grade and my friend was like “ohmigod, how have you never owned a pair of Converse before? They’re your shoe.”

57. Eating: What does this even mean?????? How about this: the first time I ate blueberry pie, it was heavenly and I was in Maine and now I love blueberry pie.

58. Drinking: Let’s talk alcohol.I said I don’t drink, and that’s true. My first alcohol was this year, my mom gave us champagne. That doesn’t count as drinking, we all know that.

59. I’m About To: Keep writing this post. And doing all the other tags I’ve been tagged in, and then try and schedule them so I don’t flood people with useless info about me. I might take a break though because I’ve been here almost an hour.

60. Listening To: Bulls in the Bronx.

61. Waiting For: A Sign A Job Me to stop catching feelings Warped Tour

62. Want: Warped Tour!!! (And more specifically to actually know bands and songs playing more than I do now. I’m trying to crash course myself in bands like a week before again)

63. Get Married: YES YES YES

64. Career: Music Video Producer and Storyboarder and Filmer

YOUR TYPE

65. Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or Taller: Ahhhhhhh I’ve had a bit of both idk which one I like better maybe shorter cause I’m short anyone “tall” towers over me

68. Older of Younger: Older 

70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: ??? A girl is a girl?? A boy is a boy?? I don’t like buff people? I like squishy people??

71. Sensitive or Loud: Both! I want both, dammit! I can’t take just one or the other, it won’t work.

72. Hook Up or Relationship: I wouldn’t know.

73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: Once again, both. Either of a lot is too much. I feel like most people I’m comparing are polar opposites and that’s why things haven’t/aren’t working.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a Stranger: NO BUT I WANT TO (just not while dating anyone)

75. Drank Hard Liquor: Still no

76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: Who owns a pair who hasn’t? If you own either you have.

77. Turned Someone Down: Lmao no

78. Sex on First Date: Nooooooooo

79. Broken Someone’s Heart: Once again, hasn’t everyone? And if they haven’t, they will.

80. Had Your Heart Broken: Once again, hasn’t everyone? And if they haven’t, they will.

81. Been Arrested: No, but had the cops called on me, yes.

82. Cried When Someone Died: Yes, on my birthday, in my kitchen, on my boyfriend.

83. Fallen For a Friend: I don’t fall for anyone seriously who isn’t a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

84. Yourself: Yes.

85. Miracles: Yes.

86. Love at First Sight: It’s called lust, look it up.

87. Santa Claus: No, sorry.

88. Kiss on First Date: Sure, that’s cute.

89. Angels: No

OTHER...

90. Current Best Friend’s Name: Olivia. Best friends since Kindergarten. Just with a few gaps and rough patches.

91. Eye Color: Blue

92. Favorite Movie: Stand By Me

Wow I need a break before I even tag anyone.

Okay, so after everyone’s read through all this nonsense, here is to whome I bestow this task:

First off I probably owe @ancient-hero to be tagged since he’s mentioned so much.

@articulate-mess, @teatowelhowell, @sleepyphil, @danisthirsty, @weirdkidstories, @fondan, @pocketcow, @memory--ghost, @mymagnificentself, @gods-not-on-a-flatbread, @cushionstaxk, @xloonaticbloodx, @liabilitylester, @kendellisnotonfire, @smoltheatrekid, @softcharizard, @vgetables, @thebookofmadison, @infidany, @i-craft-ladders, @alecdoesnotmakepie, @astonishowell, @deadpan-trashcan @smolphaniel

Wow, okay, cool. Obviously if you don’t want to do it I’m not going to fly to you and kick down your door and make you. So, have fun, do the thing if you want, sorry if not, and have a nice day!

[too-many-loose-ends]

All the questions 😘 (even tho you didn't ask me mine 😒😜)

Is a kiss considered cheating?YesHave you ever faked orgasm?NopeIf you could have one superpower, what would it be?The ability to flyDo you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?Probably notTell us some funny drunk story.I've never drank so I have noneWhy are you no longer together with your ex?She cheated on meIf you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?Guillotine (I think I spelled that right)What are your current goals?Get a good enough job that I can provide for a bunch of pets and buy a bunch of lingerie for SarahDo you like someone?YesWho was the last person to disappoint you?Me lmaoDo you like your body?YesCan you keep a diet?NopeIf the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?We should just get rid of privatized medicine and Donald Trump, and republicans in generalDo you work?Yes at a hardware store unfortunatelyIf you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?PizzaWould you get a tattoo?Hell yes Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?SarahCan you drive?YesWhen was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?A few weeks agoWhat was the last thing you cried for?I wouldn't really call it arguing but the other night when Sarah and I sort of had a disagreement idk what else to call itDo you keep a journal?Other than this blog noIs life fun?Sometimes Is farting in front of people irrelevant?When other people do it yes, but if it's me it's embarrassing lolWhat’s your dream car?One that works wellAre grades in school important?In the grand scheme of things noDescribe your crush.She's short with red hair and beautiful hazel/green eyes and she really likes pop punk and metal and drawing and her favorite color is yellow and she has the cutest sleepy voice and I love her a lotWhat was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The new power rangers movieWhat was your last lie?When I told a customer to have a good dayDumbest lie you ever told? Anything nice I've ever told a customerIs crying in front of people embarrassing?It shouldn't be but it is for meSomething you did and you are proud of?Got into a D1 track teamWhat’s your favourite cocktail?I don't drink lolSomething you are good at?Hurdling Do you like small kids?Not at allHow are you feeling right now?HungryWhat would you name your daughter/son?Idk bc I don't plan on having anyWhat do you need to be happy?Sarah, all the food I want, and access to a gymIs there some you want to punch in the face right now?Lmao yesWhat was the last gift you received?A record from Sarah What was the last gift you gave?I'm not sure lolWhat was the last concert you went to?Warped TourFavourite place to shop at?Hot topicWho inspires you?Sarah How old were you when you first got drunk?Never been drunkHow old were you when you first got high?Never been highHow old were you when you first had sex?18When was your first kiss?I was 14Something you want to do until the end of this year?Get good grades, I've done that for the spring semester and my summer class so I gotta keep it goingIs there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?Not really because it's all lead me to being where I am rnPost a selfie.Give me a secWho are you most comfortable around?SarahName one thing that terrifies you.Becoming my parents What kind of books do you read?I don't really read but I wish I did What would you tell your 12 year old self?Stop being so cringy and do something with your hair lolWhat is your favourite flower?I don't really have oneAny bad habits you have?When I get too anxious I bite myselfWhat kind of people are you attracted to?The person who asked me thisWhat was the last thing you cried for?The power rangers movie lolIs there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?Sushi but I really wish I liked it tbhAre you in love?YesSomething you find romantic?Idk lmao How long was your longest relationship? This one and it's been a year and almost 10 monthsWhat are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?"No homo," ridiculously low societal standards for boys, mansplainingWhat are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?Idk girls are the best lolWhat are you saving money for?School and concertsHow would you describe your bad side?Jealous, insecure, distrusting, angry, etc. Are you actually a good person? Why?Idk probably not lolWhat are you living for?HappinessHave you ever done anything illegal?I spit off a tall building in Ohio so yesDo you like your body?Yes I doHave you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?YeahEver sent nudes?YesHave you ever cheated on someone?NopeFavourite candy?Probably Twix Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!Yes but lately I've kinda been slacking lol and it's starry-eyes-and-blissful-nightsDo you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?No but Legend of Zelda: Breath of the WildFavourite TV series?Rick and MortyAre you religious? Does God exist?No and noWhat was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?A Clockwork Orange, and yes bc it was a good story idk lolWhat do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?Don't be a dick about it or I'll be a dick about eating meatHow long have you been on Tumblr?About 6 years now lolDo you like Chineese food?I like some stuff McDonalds or Subway?McDonalds but they're both trash lolVodka or whiskey?NeitherAlcohol or drugs?NeitherEver been out of your province/state/country?YesMeaning behind your blog name?It's kinda from the Real Friends song Loose EndsWhat are you scared of?Big spiders, like if it's a spider that lives in a rainforest or a desert it can fuck off lolLast time you were insulted?Earlier today but tbf me and my brother talk shit all the time lolMost traumatic experience?Finding out I'd been cheated on Perfect date idea?Pizza and then going back to one of our houses to watch movies and cuddleFavourite app on your phone?Tumblr lolWhat colour are the walls in your room?Dark greenDo you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?Yes, either Jacksfims or Adam "Plumpy" Blampied from WhatCultureShare your favourite quote."If I make sound, it better be loud." It's from Rock is Dead by BeartoothWhat is the meaning of life?To give life meaningDo you like horror movies?YesHave you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Yeah but it happened years ago so I don't remember and she probably doesn't either Do you feel lucky or special in a way?I'm dating Sarah so obviously lmaoCan you keep a secret?Yes I can

[tkuhnhackl]

1-70

i can’t tell if i love you or hate you rn but i really don’t want to do anymore work on this placement nonsense so we’ll go with the former, thanks

i’m stupid enough to actually do all these but i will put them under a read more to spare y’all

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah, i’m really close to both of them. we’re all a little nuts in the family, but in the best way.02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? my mom, when talking to her on the phone on the way back from work today (well, technically i said “love ya, shorty” because my family is not good at sentimentality without a little bit of roasting but close enough, i suppose)03: Do you regret anything? I already answered this!04: Are you insecure? I guess? It’s weird - I’m very comfortable with who I am, that sort of stuff, but things that have happened in the past have made me insecure about aspects of myself - so I suppose my answer is that i’ve become fairly good at disguising my insecurities over time05: What is your relationship status? single af06: How do you want to die? quickly, fairly painlessly, in a blaze of glory - there’s one Brian Jacques novel where the Long Patrol hares mount a final charge to stall the enemy and 8 year old me was absolutely ready to go out wielding a longsword in one hand and a sgian dubh in the other and tbh i’m still lowkey up for it07: What did you last eat? i had tacos for dinner with homemade barbacoa beef (i froze half of it when i made it back in february so i am finally treating myself to the rest of it)08: Played any sports? baseball, softball, basketball, tennis, and soccer/football. i also did field hockey briefly and ran track and field (primarily hurdles) for a year; i wanted to do short track speed skating but my parents were too worried about my safety09: Do you bite your nails? yup, i’ve tried for years to break the habit but every time i get stressed, it happens again10: When was your last physical fight? i’ve never been in a full-on fight; probably high school was the last time that anything even came close to that level and it was still not particularly close11: Do you like someone? already answered this one too!12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? once? usually i end up taking a nap, even if just for an hour, so it rarely ends up being 48 consecutive hours13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? i mean, on an impersonal level, there are famous people i despise. in my own personal life, there are a handful of people that i dislike enough to perhaps call hate but i also don’t believe in wasting my time being angry with them if they’re not even in my life anymore14: Do you miss someone? answered this one as well!15: Have any pets? the loves of my life, my dog Flora and my parents’ dog Liam. also the spider who lives in the corner of my room because sometimes it’s nice to pretend that counts as having company16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? tired, overwhelmed, ready for another vacation, helpless, frustrated, but also hopeful because i’ve got three potential job leads that came up this week (but can’t be followed up on until I return home in Sept)17: Ever made out in the bathroom? nope18: Are you scared of spiders? no, i love spiders as long as they don’t encroach on my personal space19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? as an art history person, absolutely. there are a lot of questions that i had to leave unanswered in my research papers and i’d love to just be able to ask the artists in person (and maybe punch picasso and jackson pollock and tell bierstadt to calm down a bit with the entire congress incident because no one cares about those pictures anymore)20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? a dorm room (idk if it counts as a snog but we’re counting it nonetheless)21: What are your plans for this weekend? finish getting my portfolio done for this placement and hopefully book another trip for next weekend22: Do you want to have kids? How many? i definitely do not want to birth any children, but i’d certainly be open to adopting later in my life should my life lead me in a direction where i feel ready, able, and willing to open my heart and home to a kid. probably only one, definitely no more than 2.23: Do you have piercings? How many? two ear piercings, i used to have my nose pierced but that ripped out in a very painful moment and i’m waiting for it to heal completely before i get it repierced24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? i was a fucking nerd in high school; i think the only subject i struggled a bit in was physics and that’s just because i don’t like theory - in uni, i took classes in a bunch of different departments, but my best ones were art history and anthropology25: Do you miss anyone from your past? answered this as well!26: What are you craving right now? poutine from the Yard, good Knights hockey, a brain that functions in a healthier way, and an end to my writing block27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so? i mean, i feel like it’s highly unlikely28: Have you ever been cheated on? can’t happen if you’re not even in the game 😏29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? see above answer30: What’s irritating you right now? my flatmates, the other work placement who won’t shut up and insists on using the library computer with the cataloging software despite me reserving it, my professors’ general incompetence, international politics31: Does somebody love you? romantically, no, unless the cheesemonger’s really committed to our non-existent relationship. but i’d like to think my close friends and family do (otherwise the love you’s we exchange at the end of conversations are awkward now)32: What is your favourite color? russets and other earth tones33: Do you have trust issues? hahahahahaha yes34: Who/what was your last dream about? i don’t actually remember? i know i woke up disoriented a few nights ago because it was something realistic but idk what i actually dreamed about35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? i cried in front of my mom on skype recently; in person, also probably my mother when she visited a few months ago (moral of the story is that i refuse to cry in front of anyone that’s not family)36: Do you give out second chances too easily? depending on what happened, i really don’t do second chances at all. i’m an expert at putting things in my past and, while i don’t often burn bridges, i’m more than happy to let them fall into ruin on their own 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? to forgive is easy (depending on what was done), but forgetting is much, much harder38: Is this year the best year of your life? depending on my paper grades and this dissertation and whether or not someone wants to hire me, it could well be, but it sure as hell does not feel like it39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 1840: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no way in hell51: Favourite food? beans and rice52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? not really - i do believe that every experience is one that can be learned from and every one has some sort of value, but i believe that the “happens for a reason” idea ascribes more sentience to the universe than i like53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? did my daily duolingo requirements so that the owl didn’t show up in my bedroom and murder me54: Is cheating ever okay? no, i don’t think there can be any sort of justification for betraying someone’s trust55: Are you mean? not particularly, i can be if i need to be but i prefer not to (i prefer to go for the ‘asian mom threatening glare’ that i have inherited from my mother)56: How many people have you fist fought? zero; for all its portrayals on tv and movies, my experience in american public school had absolutely no physical fights57: Do you believe in true love? no, i find that the concept can be so limiting and people feel pressure to find some ideal that may not really exist (i’m not a romantic in any way, shape, or form whoops)58: Favourite weather? spring, when it’s right on the edge of summer, so it’s warm enough that you can wear absolutely anything and still be comfortable, and the birds are nesting and the flowers are blooming, and the world just feels so alive59: Do you like the snow? yes, but my sad frostbitten toes can no longer handle the cold so i must now limit my time in the snow so i don’t lose them completely60: Do you wanna get married? i wouldn’t say i want to get married; if i find someone and we end up getting married, great. if i stay single the rest of my life, also great. it’s one of those things that i don’t feel is a necessity to make my life complete, but i’m not necessarily opposed to it either if it happens. I have so many things on my bucket list for life, but romance has never been on it.61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? i will accept “babe” but will not accept baby unless it’s followed by giraffe. 62: What makes you happy? dogs that wag their tail a little faster when they see you, the way puffins fly and land, the sound and sight of sea birds reuniting with their partners after spending the last year apart, lilies of the valley beginning to peek out as the seasons change, fruits and veg picked straight from my garden, good food, excel spreadsheets, being the only one in a gallery in a museum and getting to be alone with the art, sharks that challenge our perspectives on what sharks are supposed to be and do, my sports teams winning63: Would you change your name? no. for a long time, i did because it’s always getting mispronounced and, when you go to a predominantly white school district, it’s always hard to be the one kid with an obviously non-white name. but also my last name means ‘king of snakes’ and fuck if anyone’s taking that away from me64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? nope, she remains very dear to me65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? run screaming for the hills, catch me sailing out to shetland on the next ferry because that’s a conversation i don’t want to have66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah, i don’t really believe in having close friends that i cannot act my complete self around, regardless of gender67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my dad? non-family, the regimental representative at the museum i work at, who’s basically my work dad (who i cook for because i worry about his health)68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? i avoid all deep emotional conversations, so it’d probably be my parents (specifically my mother because my dad is like me). but i did have a deep conversation about politics and race with a girl i met on my trip this weekend up north69: Do you believe in soulmates? answered this as well70: Is there anyone you would die for? absolutely

[psychol-psychedelic]

get to know me meme Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people 1. Drink: Yeah I can't decide there's a bunch of fucking drinks I like. As of now beer :) 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: nobody cause my phone is dry af. 4. Song you listen to: uh Tyler, the Creators new album? That or Earl Sweatshirt. 5. Time you cried: I haven't cried in a while so I guess I'm proud of myself. Jk HAVE YOU 6. Dated someone twice: uhh nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Does my recent relationship count? 8. Been cheated on: Not of my knowledge 9. Lost someone special: yeah but not special anymore. Fuck em I'm glad they gone 10. Been depressed: of course who hasn't been depressed 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No not yet. I just get buzzed honestly. Never gotten actually drunk before LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Red, blue, and maybe purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made new friends: nooppeeee it's hard to make friends in community college 16. Fallen out of love: yeah thank fuck 17. Laughed until you cried: All the time 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Pretty sure everyone does but it doesn't effect me. 19. Met someone who changed you: Yuuppp been depressed ever since 20. Found out who your friends are: Goofy fucks 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don't go on Facebook. It's a waste of time GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All the drum line people and family 23. Do you have any pets: Yeah a dog. He's thicc 24. Do you want to change your name: uh no not really honestly. Not then maybe people have my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing. No one wished me happy birthday so I slept the whole day :) 26. What time do you wake up: 5:35 AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Building my skateboard 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Uh nothing honestly. Maybe talking to my crush in class but idk if it's going to happen 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 2 minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Being happy most likely 31. What are you listening to right now: See You Again by Tyler the Creator. Before that was Famous by Afterparty 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Um no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My phone being dry af 34. Most visited website: Idk tbh 35. Mole/s: Um no 36. Mark/s: scars mostly, I have a road rash on my elbow and cuts on my palm 37. Childhood dream: Professional Skateboarder but quit later on sadly 38. Hair color: Dark brown 39. Long or short hair: short rn 40. Do you have a crush on someone: YUUPPPP SHES GORGEOUS AND CUTE, but I'm nervous to talk to her. Even though she sits right behind me in class 41. What do you like about yourself: My lips, I'm glad it's not like the stereotypical thin ass white lips 42. Piercings: Nope 43. Blood type: O no fucking idea blood 44. Nickname: Used to be Kevy, wanted to shoot myself every time 45. Relationship status: My new skateboard 46. Zodiac: Pieces or how ever you spell the fucking thing 47. Pronouns: He obviously 48. Favorite TV Show: the office 49. Tattoos: I want to get a sleeve with a wolf because wolves are my favorite animal. The other sleeve would be a corgi in space with a German Shepard 50. Right or left hand: Both depending on what it is 51. Surgery: none but gonna get my molars pulled soon. Scared 52. Hair dyed in different color: Noopeeee. My natural hair is gorgeous 53. Sport: hockey 55. Vacation: I went to Las Vegas a couple weeks ago. I couldn't gamble but I could go to a strip club. My mom wouldn't let me. She wouldn't let me buy a vape either 56. Pair of trainers: tf you mean ya goofy fuck. Vans I guess? 57. Eating: Rn? Nothing 58. Drinking: I had an Arizona this morning 59. I’m about to: sleep, try and learn to kickflip again 61. Waiting for: me to sleep 62. Want: My crush in my class but idk if I will 63. Get married: Yup of course I'd love to 64. Career: I wanna be a music producer and get paid making music. Either that or be a drummer in a band. That's my only two options rn 65. Hugs or kisses: Both 66. Lips or eyes: I like both. But if a girl has lips like mine that's better 67. Shorter or taller: Shorter 68. Older or younger: Uh yes 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms? Tf? Ya goofy fuck 71. Sensitive or loud: both sometimes. My laugh can be loud at times 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship hopefully with my crush. Damn I've been talking about her a lot 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I wish I was a troublemaker but I'm too nice 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: does whiskey count? 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Fuck yeah I thought I lost my glasses this morning but they were on my face already. I'm stupid 77. Turned someone down: A couple times 78. Sex on the first date: no please 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah I still feel bad about it. I fucked up whoops. Not like I fucked up in the past anyways 80. Had your heart broken: Yup 81. Been arrested: Nope not once thank you 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah when my exes dad died. I didn't know him much but her mom told me he started to like me towards the end. I still remember being kind of sad when someone told me during practice that her dad died. I wondered where she was at she wasn't there 83. Fallen for a friend: Sadly DO YOU BELIEVE IN 84. Yourself: psh nope. 85. Miracles: depends what it is 86. Love at first sight: Sometimes 87. Santa Claus: He's okay 88. Kiss on the first date: Maybe OTHER 90. Current best friend name: Tony and AJ 91. Eye color: blue, green, and hazel 92. Favorite movie: Honestly I don't know. You fucked me up with that one I don't know 20 people @sighlizz (tagging you so You know I finished it. Sorry if I finished it late)

[turquoiseorange]

11 Questions

RULES:

1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

I was tagged by @secretlysora !! I love answering questions but I don’t get them very often. So this is a nice change haha, thank you (〃ω〃)

Brianna’s Questions:

1. How many hours of sleep do you get each night? Depends on the time of year haha. When I’m in school I think the average is about 5-6 hours, and on breaks I try to sleep in so maybe 6-8 hours then? I go to bed late and wake up relatively early (either because of school, or my mom wakes me up) so I don’t get a lot of sleep tbh

2. What’s your favorite time of day, and why? I think nighttime would be my favorite time of day because that’s when I “go to bed”. I use air quotes because I really just stay up and play games or read stuff on the internet. It’s pretty nice because the house is super quiet, and I get to do whatever as long as my phone has enough battery haha

3. What are three things you’ve always wanted to do? frig that’s a tough one uhhhh 1) I’ve always wanted to have one of those quintessential college moments with the local coffee house/ slam poetry place. The one example that comes to mind is like in the Xtremely Goofy Movie when they just go to the coffee house , and it’s like a really cool place near campus where they can chill and hang out y'know 2) I’ve wanted to try out ice skating tbh. I used to have quite a few friends growing up that we’re either really good at it, or at least visited the rink a lot, and that got me interested. There were even a couple opportunities for me to go through school, but the timing didn’t work out so I couldn’t go. Less people I know go, now that we’re older, but it still seems like an interesting thing to try out 3) ??? Idk lol

4. What was your favorite memory from last year? I really liked getting to tour colleges with my dad last year. One of the trips we went to Arizona and Chicago (cause I got accepted to ASU and DePaul), and as part of the trip we would check out what the area has to offer. Y'know, to make sure it’d be a nice place to live while I’m staying at college. Chicago was my favorite place, aesthetically speaking. I took so many pictures when we were there.. Plus we got to check out the museums, which is always fun. We walked down from our hotel to the planetarium (because I friggen LOVE space), grabbed a Chicago dog for lunch, then after went to the Natural History museum. Personally the area is a little too densely populated for my taste, but from the few days we spent over there, it was really nice.

5. If you could be any age for a week, what age would you choose to be? I’m pretty happy with my age rn tbh (18). I am considered to be an adult by the law, so I can do stuff like get tattoos or lotto tickets if I wanted, but at the same time I don’t have all the responsibilities of an adult yet because I’m still kinda on the young side.

6. What is a habit you’re proudest of breaking, or one you want to break? One I’m proud of breaking is how much I used to rely on the people around me. Of course when times are bad I ask for help, but in general I think I’m becoming more comfortable in myself? One habit I want to break is biting my nails. I’ve tried to break it a few times since I was a kid, but usually something stressful comes up and I end up biting them again. I guess in order to do that I’ll have to manage my stress first? ha..

7. When you were really little, what did you want to be when you grew up? The two things I wanted to be when I was a kid was either a veterinarian or a singer. I remember when I was in elementary they had us do a project where we wrote letters to people who had the professions we wanted, and ask them for advice if we had the chance to do that job later. For the vet I wrote to a local clinic, and for the singer I wrote to Billy Joel because Green Day was one of my favorite bands of the time. As I got older though, I realized I’m slightly better than average at singing, and I don’t have the heart to be a vet (I get really upset when animals are injured). So instead I’m working towards being an animator haha…

8. What do you love the most about yourself? (tbh this is another hard one for me to answer? ha) uh I like how neat my handwriting is. Since middle school I’ve written a lot of stories on the side, personal ideas and whatnot. My methods of writing meant I would physically write my ideas out, type them and print, then write over with edits and more details, type them and print, and repeat until I either was satisfied with that copy or I got bored with it. So since I wrote so much in those scenarios, my handwriting got better and better over time. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments since high school about how neat it looks, as if it were printed, and that’s pretty cool.

9. What are you looking forward to this year? I’m looking forward to taking Astronomy in my next semester of college ♪( ´▽｀) and more art classes so I can practice more haha

10. What are your favorite hobbies? I love writing and drawing. I don’t draw as much as I should, but once I get back from my trip (in two weeks?) then I’ll make a regimine again. Maybe do a color pallet spam again heh. As for writing, I have a bunch of personal stories I’ve been meaning to work on, but didn’t have the attention span because I was focusing on studies (totally worth bc last semester I got a 4.0 woohoooo). But like with drawing, I want to come up with a schedule so I can make some progress on my stories. (Or maybe.. I could even finish one)

11. What’s something you can’t live without? Social contact hhhhh. I know usually the go-to for people is electronics, like the phone or the computer, but I’ve had both of those taken away and it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal for me though is not being able to talk to people. Even if it’s just saying ‘hi’ to each other, and that’s it, all day that’s cool. But not having the option even to do that kills me. Similar situation with physical contact.. Usually it only happens when I talk with specific people though. Like if I lost contact with both neko-chan and my bf at the same time I’d probably die right then and there

My Questions:

1. What is your ideal future?

2. What is one goal you want to accomplish within the next year?

3. What fictional character do you think resembles you the most, and why?

4. What type of music do you like to listen to in order to make you feel better?

5. What was your favorite T.V show when you were growing up?

6. What was your first introduction to social media? How long ago was that?

7. If you could have any animal in the world as your pet, what would it be and why?

8. What is the most important thing to you right now?

9. Is there someone or something that has dramatically changed your life?

10. What is your favorite time of the year, and why?

11. What is your favorite type of drink, and what is the ideal scenario you’d have it in?

I don’t have 11 people to tag ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ so I’m gonna just tag @crookedlovestory @bbpoltergiest @peanutbutter-jellysquid (If you guys are interested in answering the questions, go ahead. If not, I’ll just say hi and hope you have a good day lol)

[timaltman]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by: @hsinlvegas who has gotten me addicted to pinterest aesthetic boards and i’m mad at her for it but she’s still p rad. 

tagging: whoever wants to do it lmao idk it’s 2:30am here idek whats up or down rn i should probably be asleep but also like.... no.

LAST… [1] drink: water (i’m so exciting /sarcasm) [2] phone call: my mom called me while she was driving home from work  [3] text message: “oh my god no. not the kidz bop. pls no” - to my sister [4] song you listened to: reaching by audiomachine (which is so good pls go listen to it) [5] time you cried: last night thinking about steve irwin and how i owe him my entire life and career bc in 2 weeks i’m starting my first official zookeeping job and he was a huge inspiration for me as a kid 

-REST UNDER THE CUT-

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) all the fuckin time my dudes [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no but i’ve gotten so anxious i’ve thrown up??

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] teal [13] pale yellow [14] silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes! [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah i mean i’m sure there are like three people who bitch about me all the time lmao [19] met someone who changed you: yes~ (in a good way)  [20] found out who your true friends are: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ -bitter fucking laughter-  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ye - my wonderful girlfriend~

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: i mean, i’ve met a lot of them after becoming friends on tumblr, but then i have some old high school friends and some internship friends on here, too.... so like 10 or so? probably a few more than that. [23] do you have any pets: my asshole cat, robin: the cat wonder, lives with me in my apartment. at home i have a beagle/terrier mutt named copper and a gray tabby named dusty. i’m hoping to maybe get a ball python this summer but i’m not sure yet! [24] do you want to change your name: yeah, i’ve considered it b/c trans but i’m not entirely sure what i want yet.... [25] what did you do for your last birthday: wielded a chainsaw, ate shitty walmart cake and watched step brothers with some classmates in a remote cabin in southern illinois? not my first choice but not terrible, all things considered. didn’t lose any limbs that day so i can’t complain. [26] what time did you wake up: robin woke me up at like, 5:30am to get fed, but then i went back to sleep again until 7:30, text billy to have a good day at work, and then i went back to sleep again until 9:45 b/c i didn’t have my 9am class today hell yeah [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: uh, pinterest-ing for my character aesthetic boards.... >_> [28] name something you cannot wait for: graduating college and being the fuck done with schoooooool. also mother fuckin wonDER WOMAN. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: april 23rd [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how far away all the ppl i care about are :(((( [31] what are you listening to right now: more audiomachine but i was watching friends in the background earlier [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ye my old neighbor was named tom he was real nice [33] something that is getting on your nerves: not in the angry way but in the anxious way- i have to give a presentation on my research project to the college board in like... 6 hours. [35] elementary: yes? [36] high school: done [37] college: sO CLOSE TO DONE I LITERALLY HAVE TWO CLASSES LEFT [38] hair color: brown.... it used to have a white patch and be fun, but i dyed it for superboy and now i’m battling with myself debating if i should dye it back bc “””professional””” for jobs but that’s so boring i want to look like shiro again :((( [39] long or short hair: short god please short, regardless of what gender i present, short is so much nicer since my hair is so thiiiiick [40] do you have a crush on someone: ye my a m a z i n g girlfriend uwu  [41] what do you like about yourself?: noncommittal shrug emoji? i like my eye color i think that’s pretty radical since it’s like a gray-teal color. i guess i’m a pretty good resource for random ass animal facts too [42] piercings: mmmm i mean, i don’t care for them or about them that much? [43] blood type: literally no idea which is probably bad [44] nickname: sunshine, sam, sammy, teddy, timmy, timtam, dad [45] relationship status: -heart eyes emojis @ billy- [46] zodiac sign: aries i think? idk all i care is my celtic zodiac is a fox, so [47] pronouns: he/him [48] fav tv show: f ri ck en brooklyn 99 [49] tattoos: not yet, but after i get top surgery and no longer run the disk of mutilating or stretching it, i wanna get tim’s robin symbol on my chest [50] right or left handed: left!

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth were my first surgery, i think? [52] piercing: got my earlobes pierced when i was like, 12? idk i don’t wear them anymore so they’ve all but closed up [53] best friend: this girl on the playground in preschool named asya but after her was this girl named natalie that i was friends with from kindergarten all through junior high. she just got married like, a month ago and i feel old [54] sport: like to actually continue with was soccer - i started at 6 i think [55] vacation: that i remember? disney world b/c my dad had drill down in florida so my parents dragged my sister and i with bc we didn’t have to pay for the hotel lol [56] pair of trainers: wut

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothin [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: sleep maybe, hopefully?  [60] listening to: still audiomachine since they just asked this question like 10 questions ago..... [61] waiting for: my anxiety to calm tf down so i can go to sleep [62] want: foooood. i ate dinner really early (5pm) and now it’s 10 hours later so i want food again. [63] get married: -super noncommittal and also confused, disgruntled noises- ?? [64] career: dream career is a zookeeper, honestly. it’s what i’m doing, i’ve worked really hard to get to the place where i am, and i’m happy with it

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: no preference [68] older or younger: usually i get along better with ppl older than me- all my closest friends are older by 2 years or more except like..... amy [69] romantic or spontaneous: anxiety and spontaneity don’t mix lmao [70] nice arms or nice stomach: either or both or neither is fine idrc [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant only bc troublemaker makes me anxious lmao

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope [75] drank hard liquor? ye i’ve had like. one whole vodka and lemonade in my entire life because i am a raging party animal /sarcasm [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i lose my contacts in my eyeball sometimes [77] turned someone down? ye kinda. my ~best friends~ have this bad habit of ~falling in love with me~ and then getting pissed when i don’t return the feeling and treating me like crap :))))  [78] sex on first date? nope [79] broken someone’s heart? sure maybe idk. not on purpose. [80] had your own heart broken? no [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? i’m a monster and have no feelings so no, not really. i usually go into emotional shock and stop processing everything [83] fallen for a friend: kind of

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? noooope [85] miracles? listen on friday i catered an event and the idiot who packed it up for us on their shift the day before forgot to put matches in the gathering. and the truck drivers loaded it onto the truck before i could check that everything was there. so we got to the location and couldn’t light the sternos for the hot food but somehow we found a box of matches in the kitchenette we were serving out of so yes i believe in miracles [86] love at first sight? maybe? idk not really i really don’t understand how anyone could love someone without knowing a bunch about them first [87] santa claus? billY AND I SAW SANTA ON OUR WAY UP TO C2E2 ON SUNDAY OKAY HIS CAR WAS RED AND SAID “MY OTHER RIDE IS A SLEIGH” AND HIS LICENSE PLATE SAID KRINGLE AND HE HAD A BIG WHITE BEARD IT WAS AMAZING OKAY. [88] kiss on the first date? maybe for ppl who aren’t like. super anxious about everything all the time [89] angels? no

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: marble, emma [91] eye color: teal-gray, which sounds pretentious and White Person af but like..... that’s the best way to describe them [92] favorite movie: i don’t knowwww that’s a hard one ;_; 

[assholemurphy]

i am awake at 5am bc i got drunk af last night. starting at 9pm. i didn’t stop until 2am. i drank a fuckton. more than i should have. it was 47%. kracken’s the good shit, i s2g. but i shouldn’t have drank so much. i’m getting bad with this shit. i drink a lot, lately. i mean, it’s college and i can, but my roommate’s worried i’m gonna be an alcoholic (spoiler: she is, but that’s none of my business) but my counselor literally laughed at that suggestion (bc i got drunk on a tues night and then had ONE drink the next night) and said i’m fine. but.... well, i’m not entirely sure. bc drinking is nice and relieves stress and therefore i’m going to end up doing it a lot bc i’m always stressed. but i’m okay with that. if i become an alcoholic, i’ll be a functioning one, so it won’t rly matter, not in a way that could affect my degree and that’s all i care abt. i’ll sort the shit later, but first, i need a career. then i can pay for rehab, lmao.

but, i was invited to a cast party for the show i was in (i got stopped in public yesterday by a guy who complimented me on it!) and i wasn’t sure i was gonna go, and i said i didn’t know if i was to my roommate, goldilocks, who took it as ‘oh, she’s not going’ and then proceeded to find a ride, make plans, etc to go without me. that’s fine? not rly, but i said it was. so i didn’t go to the cast party. instead i invited the victory bros (my friends, pretty boy and rafiki, no, their name isn’t actually victory, that’s a long, weird ass story) but i invited them over and pretty boy and i got drunk, rafiki didn’t. it was a lot of fun. i think i preferred it just being us to being in a house full of ppl who don’t rly like me to begin with. i mean, some of them do, but not enough of them for me to feel comfortable getting drunk with all of them. i did want to go, even got dressed nice for it, but when my roommate said she had made other plans, i said ‘fuck it’ and decided to hang out with my actual friends, not a bunch of ppl who pretend to like me for appearances. i think that was the better choice, tbh.

but, i’ve decided to start focusing on getting my shit together as opposed to trying to save goldilocks. she doesn’t want to get better, i’ve offered her help, i’ve let her drag me down to the point where i’m missing class and not turning in hw and i can’t do that. i need to fix myself and i can’t do that if i’m trying to fight her. i love her, a lot, but jfc, she needs professional help and i’m just not what she needs rn. she needs more than pretty boy and i can give her, and she’s so fucking unwilling to take the help we do offer. i’m gonna feel hella guilty for not saving her, but i can’t fix her if she doesn’t want help. so, i’ll deal. and work on myself. i’m slowly getting better, with the help of pretty boy, rafiki, and my counselor. i’m not undoing all of my progress for her, i can’t. i won’t. so, i’m gonna stop trying to fix her and just work on myself. i need to withdraw a little bit so i’m not as reactive to her. we’re both empaths and feed on other ppl’s emotions, so since she’s literally always anxious/upset/angry/etc, i feel it and it makes me upset, too, and that in turn feeds her more, and again and again in circles. it’s like living in a nuclear reactor. idk what to do. we used to be close, but lately she’s been pulling away and hanging with other ppl (which is obvs fine) and shitting on my friends (not fine) and blowing me off to do other things even when we had plans (also not fine). i’m getting srsly tired of it. idk what to do. i don’t want to ruin things, but it’s beginning to become obnoxious. she’s so fucking fragile, too, that anything she sees as conflict or an attack makes her shut down or go off on me. i thought my bipolar disorder was bad, at least i’ll admit i need medication.

anyway, i haven’t slept yet but i’m going to try around 8 bc i’ve got to make sure she’s up so she can do a theatre thing at the high school here. why that’s my responsibility, idk, but she asked and wouldn’t let me say no (i said no, but she kept asking, bc i was going to try to sleep at like, 3) so i’m staying up until she’s awake, then i’ll pass out. but i’ve got a killer headache (i need more water, but it’s in the fridge and that’s so far) and i just want to sleep. then when i wake up i’ve got to start on my hw. i’ve got 5 assignments and my therapy assignment thing to do. that should take a total time of like 8 hours, but i may have more to do for my script analysis group project, so it may be closer to 10 hours. then i need to make up my planner (i bought an hourly one and a monthly one), update my wall calendar for the month, put together my desk calendar, and get started on reading the next script for intro to theatre (which i might just do on sun) so i’m caught up/ahead. i’ll get that done this weekend and try to get some writing done, bc i need some self care in my life and writing is my self care. but these past few days i’ve been falling apart and i need to grab ahold of my fucking bootstraps and duct tape them to my fucking ears. bc i’ve got to get my shit in order. i just have to. so, i’ve got like 15 hours of work and organizing to do this weekend but then i’m free.

i’m dying, cats. this is too much at once and i’m drowning in other ppl’s emotions. i think i’m just gonna start going to the library bc this whole apartment is like a spawning ground for bad shit. so, i may pack up today or sunday and go to the library and get some work done there. but rn i’m gonna shower and try not to puke (i don’t get hangover’s, i’ve just felt sick all week, but hey, got my period, so ik i’m not pregnant! not that i logically could be, but ya know, paranoia). so, that’s what’s currently happening with izzy on today’s ep of ‘no kill shelter: god’s fav sitcom’ (for the other stories, one must speak directly to rafiki, pretty boy, and goldilocks)

[acesexualspock]

I was tagged by @spocksashayam. Thank you so much for tagging me!! This is my first tag since I changed my blog’s url so im excited :)

Rules: tag ten followers you want to know better

Name: Victoria

Star Sign: Capricorn

Height: 5′5″ about (tbh my height changes a lot so idk its around there)

Middle Name: Elena

Put itunes on shuffle. What are the first four songs that popped up:

“A Winter’s Ball” from Hamilton

“Django Jane” by Janelle Monae

“What More Can I Say” from Falsettos (2016)

“Sleepover” by Hayley Kiyoko

Grab the book nearest to you and turn to page 23. What’s line 17: ok so I have The Autobiography of James T. Kirk next to me rn and pg 23 is the end of the chapter so here’s line 7- “It would be a number of years before I got a better look at it.”

Have you ever had a poem or song written about you: outside of poems I’ve written, none to my knowledge

When was the last time you played air guitar: idk prolly a few weeks ago. i jam more in the car so there’s no air guitar there

Who is you celebrity crush: ooooh boy. i’ve got a bunch but i guess my main crushes are Chris Pine and Anne Hathaway. I’ve had a crush on them since i was 8 and watched the Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement the first time. 

What’s a sound that you hate and a sound you love: jesus uhm i love the sound of the ocean tbh its good white noise;; i guess i hate the sound of too many people talking at once? idk it’s just a pet peeve to have to be in very loud rooms

Do you believe in ghosts?: kinda? like i want to say no but i’ll hear something in the night and i immediately think ghost or murderer

Do you believe in aliens: Absolutely!! like it’s just stupid to think that we’re alone when we haven’t even begun to explore the universe

Do you drive: yes! i actually get my full license on wednesday 

if so, have you ever crashed: no but i’ve come close many times

What was the last book you read: Marcovaldo by Italo Calvino (it was for a class)

Do you like the smell of gasoline: mm i don’t hate it but i wouldn’t want to smell it for a long time

What was the last movie you saw: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and it was so good!!!!

Do you have any obsessions right now: anyone’s who has followed me from before this summer knows that i’m currently obsessed with Star Trek and i love it. i’m always obsessed with something tbh tho

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong: it depends on what they’ve done. if it isn’t like life alteringly bad, i usually forgive after i’ve cooled off. however i can hold grudges. i still hate a guy who abandoned his bff who was a friend of mine at the time

Are you in a relationship: no! i would like to be but i’m very busy rn and don’t have anyone i like atm

I tag: @voughno, @trashcanniballecter, @justbluewaves, @afaultinourfandoms, @satans-left-eyeball, @toorvu, and anyone else srry im lazy and still have homework

[planetcatherine]

drunk high and bored

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

The first time i watched Perks of Being a Wallflower i was with my sister and mom in florida and they didn’t understand the depth of it. they thought it was weird and didn’t appreciate the art. The first time i ever watched inglorious basterds i was with rob. we watched it in my room near the end of first semester. it was such a great movie and a fun time

2: Talk about your first kiss.

My first kiss was when i was 15. he was 18 and a senior and the captain of the soccer team. i was concussed at the time. it was after midnight so technically it was christmas. he kissed me after i showed him perks of being a wallflower and he gave me my christmas present: two books i wanted and a cd labeled “cat’s mixtape”. he also made out w me it wasn’t gentle or sweet at all. it was good though. i don’t really need gentle and sweet.

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.

The person i had the most intense romantic feelings for had the same for me, but we were a terrible match and nearly fuckinf killed eachother. it was a terrible relationship and a beautiful relationship and i don’t miss it one bit but am thankful and grateful for the time we had. too bad things had to go the way they did, but everything was too much. we were going to ruin eachother. we already had.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

I regret nothing

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.

I don’t like birthdays but i suppose this past one was cool

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.

my 16th was probably the worst. pretty sure that was the night i was suicidal and cried when my friends picked me up.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

i think my biggest insecurity is the idea of not being good enough. i’m just never enough and i’m scared or rejection and weird vibes.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

I am good at drawing people because people interest me a lot

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my tattoo is my baby. my random freckles on my body are cool. i like my dimples and my blue eyes.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.

one time my brother and i played chess and i won and he got pissed and just started beating me up and was jumping up and down on my stomach and then my dad told us we couldn’t talk to eachother anymore so i didn’t talk to my brother for like years

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.

klem’s with derek. i liked him at the time and i had such a normal dream but it seemed perfect to me

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.

on christmas eve once i had a dream that my family was kidnapped by cartoon characters and they hypnotized us and my brother and i escaped. also i had a dream last semester that i slept walked during, i had a dream i ate a bunch of xanax and died and i guess i was sleepwalking and kept picking up my pill bottles and putting them doen

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

the first time i had sex was so innocent and awful. he tattered me lol. i was so sad afterwards because i liked him so much and didn’t want to say no because i wanted to hug i wasn’t ready to that very day after he broke up with his gf. i wasn’t in a place to do that. and it hurt a lot.

14: Talk about a vacation.

i went to california with a girl i knew for two weeks prior to the trip. it was lit. another time i went to hawaii with my ex and everyone thought we were just married. also lit.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

content? haven’t heard that name in a while. anyway i guess i’m like very content rn but also i was prob more content when i had my ex in my life. but i don’t love him anymore

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.

there have been many but the best nights are when i just get belligerently drunk and wander and end up random places like building forts or spinning around or some weird shit

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

i want to be friends with this guy who’s in both my english class and my psych class. he seems cool

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

once in elementary school i fell off the top of the playground tower thing and i thought i was going to die so i just laid there while everyone went inside and they forgot me out there

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

in middle school i was class president and i ran a few years in a row and people like drew on my posters it was really mean

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

in high school i became so meta and self aware it was insane. i spent all my time trying so hard. then one day i started smoking weed more and i was like nah idgaf anymore lol hate me for who i am

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

my friend this morning was hinting she wanted to come out here but i just wanted to hang out with rob

22: Talk about your worst fear.

needles. shit is freaky

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

i used to like a boy named derek and he liked me too but one day randomly he ghosted me for no reason. he still hits me up tho and he’s engaged which is weird shot

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

my first love daniel said to me once “you’re beautiful. i don’t care what anyone else has to say, and i know it might seem odd coming from me, but you need to know that.” and it stole my heart because i used to get made fun of and i knew i wasn’t the prettiest one ever

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

my first her best friend is still my friend, but she went too crazy for me to handle. she would yell at me for not eating her food bc she was anorexic and wanted me to help her kill herself and hide things from her mom and she just ended up being botchy and would scream at me for eating donuts and tell me no one cared so i peaced out real quick

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.

when i’m sick i just lay in bed and convince myself in dying

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.

my ex jake had a “hole” in his chest. it was fun to play with.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

nah

29: Talk about what turns you on.

accidental touching and being messy with people and lightly touching. also hard touching and crazy stuff

30: Talk about what turns you off.

when people chew loudly and ickily

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

darkness and nothingness. oblivion.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

scituate, ma. i used to stay at the usaf base place with my family a lot. it was beautiful and solitary.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

punch myself. cry. think i’m dying. hold my heart. look in the mirror. punch other things. shake. hyperventilate. sometimes i seize or pass out

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.

idk but one time when rob came to visit me at home, i just like died and fell on ice in my driveway. my arm was fuckeddd

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

i need to not be dependent on nicotine. also, i need to eat healthier and stop being lazy.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

country music :)

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

my ex cody. i thought i was in love with him, but i think i was just captivated instead. it was not love. you don’t treat someone you love like that.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

i’ll list a few

• marry me - thomas rhett (ms)

• dancing in the moonlight - king harvest (nm)

•run - snow patrol (dp)

•say you won’t let go - james arthur (cr)

•love -kendrick (rf)

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.

i wish i knew that it was okay to be myself. and i wish i recognized human things ealier. like the fact that we’re all just people.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

the end of my juul was Last night. justin fuckinf dropped it and it’s gone now so

[hellotvv]

Life Update

It’s been a while since I’ve last posted. The last time I posted was the first day of this semester, and now it’s basically two weeks in. Have things changed a lot? I’d say, not really. But life has been good definitely.

Today is a rainy day, so I’m in a mood to finally write and idk vent some feelings. Today, I’ve slept in for a while. I ate lunch and then showered and met up with Rebecca. The reason why I met up with Rebecca is because she’s auditioning for Mulan and needs photos of her. She asked if I could take photos of her and I was like sure. So I got over to her place at like 3:30 and it was a pretty cloudy cold day. We walked around to the beach near Manzanita (one of the 2nd year dorms), it’s a meh beach. I took photos of her, asked her about her classes, winter break, and etc. Since although we have math together this quarter, I haven’t really seen her. But she’s Kai’s ochem lab partner this quarter tho. It was nice talking to her. She asked if there’s any new gossip going on with my life, and I was like haha nah. Apparently I have pretty friends tho, so my next gf has to be pretty since I must have high standards according to her. I was like nah, I’m pretty chill tbh in terms of looks. I’m definitely more of a personality person. I asked her if anything is new with her love life, and she says she likes being single a lot. She asked about Stefanie actually, and I told her I haven’t really talked to Stefanie since August. Apparently Rebecca heard gossip about Stefanie o.o I was like oh and told me some stuff? I wonder who told her such gossip o.o. She asked if I met Helen before, since she’s good friends with Helen. I told her that I met Helen once at a USC party lol. Then Rebecca treated me to a starbucks frap and drove me to my house, which was nice of her. Since her place is a bit far (walking wise at least) from my place. Then I chilled, ate dinner with my friend Bryan, made some plans with him, and yeah. He asked if I was going to Bharat’s party tonight, but I honestly wasn’t feeling it today. I know I didn’t go out Friday, but idk this week is like one of those weeks where I just wanna stay in my room and be by myself. I’ve been pretty good about hanging out with my SB friends and there’s like a groupme with all 12 of us in it now lol. On Friday, they went to watch a horror movie, but I wasn’t feeling like going. I actually thought about just going to the movie theaters by myself and watching La La Land by myself. I never watched a movie by myself, but it feels like it could be a nice thing just going and watching by myself. Idk I heard La La Land is good and I really wanna watch it. So yeah, today, I just kinda chilled in doors and had a good day at home. Idk I just enjoy those lazy rainy days indoors and cuddling up in bed. Also I played some Overwatch with my friend Ann (from back home) and it was cool. Also Rebecca + Lindsay (her housemate) both recently said we should hang out more, and I agreed we should haha. 

As for general updates overall... School’s been going good, nothing to complain about yet. I got a new lab partner in ochem, but she’s like idk the most unsocial lab partner yet? Like she doesn’t make any small talk like oh how’s your day, what classes are u taking, etc etc. Idk I’ve had some cool lab partners like my MCDB1C lab partner last year :( and my lab partner last quarter is pretty cool. I see him at parties sometime still haha and we say hi and what’s up and stuff. But yeah, can’t complain about classes yet. Going to be studying for them tomorrow! As for friends, idk if I’ve made new friends exactly just yet. I still keep in touch with Hope and Fyona. Fyona and I text pretty much every day and facetime fairly often just for fun. We’re like best friends and it’s cool. Catherine, I still snapchat every now and then, but haven’t really talked to her. Kristy is taking ochem lab and I see her now and then with Jessica. We all ate ramen with Brent, Bharat, Henry, and Bryan just like last week! Idk there’s so much to update, even tho it’s just been a bit. Uhm... School okay, maybe stressed about future when it gets to like 4th year and stuff. But I guess just gotta take life one step at a time sometimes. I’ve became decent friends with one of my models Cindy! We made plans to shoot sometime in the future. My photography ig has been doing some good growth :D it’s at nearly 800 followers~ and I still get hit up by models randomly asking to shoot with me still, which is cool. Outside of the shoot with Rebecca today, I haven’t really shot lately. But I might in February with Sabrina in Fyona, maybe a future shoot with Cindy again, uhh random models potentially, and this one photographer that wants to link up and he works near SB. Idk photography going well! As for sm4sh, there’s no tournaments recently. But this week was the Arcadian on Thursday, which is a tournie where no PR players can play in. I’m legit ranked 3 in SB, so I can’t play haha. But Brent played and I went to support him + gave him some coaching. He ended up getting top 8, which is really good. It had like 70 ppl!! Uhh, I still keep up with my friend Jia. Kai and I are doing fine, she liked her expensive xmas gift that she chose. She’s getting a roommate still, and she hasn’t really been home this entire week. The roommate is prob gonna be some random, idk who or when they’ll move in. But I’ll miss having the house to myself T_T ahhh. Hopefully they won’t be a bad housemate D:  I play overwatch with my boi Alan still now and then. I haven’t really bought clothes in a while, so no progress there. As for clothing brand, it’s made some progress. Henry is a lagger with vectorizing the designs ahhh. Since we have one good design :( and just want it already done. But we got 3 samples of a pretty basic shirt that says, “No Sleep”. It’s to be like edgy and fit our sad boy theme. Like you can interpret it in a lot of ways. Like oh no sleep, since we’re up late crying or thinking. Or if you wear it to the gym, it’ll be hardcore like damn this guy going hard, no sleep!! But yeah :3 I did the designs for that and we got 3 samples being shipped to me. If it’s good, then we’ll do an order for a couple more to sell to friends. Mostly waiting for Henry to finish the graphic design for our first real tee. Then maybe we’ll have a launch party + make a website + ig. Then once we have another design done, then we’ll start to advertise it I guess lol. So clothing brand going okie. These past two weeks, I did go to friend parties, ate dinner/lunch with friends, go to the gym and etc. Oh right. So I’ve been really really good about my diet this week. I’ve tracked my calories and ate reallly well in terms of eating at a calorie deficit. Last week I was pretty good too, but this week damn I’ve been really good. It’s hard a bit, but life style change yo. I’ve been hitting the gym occasionally too, so that should help! Just wait 1-2 more months yo :D gonna be way more fit and super happy with my appearance. My skin has been good lately, so that’s going for me! But yeah been improving fitness wise ever since I got back to school. I guess I don’t really have much to complain about. I have good friends that invite me to things, so I have the option to decide whether or not go out haha. I have buddies for lunch/dinner if I want. I have gym buddies like Brent/Bharat/Shannie/Brooke. Been doing good progress on every aspect I guess of my life, and nothing bad happened at all lately. So I guess I gotta appreciate more when things are just content or good. But yeah, brief summary I guess about how I’m doing, there’s probably a bunch more stuff that I haven’t thought of. I think I’m going home next week for Lunar New Years :O I also have midterms next week .-. 

As for my love life.. Hmhm, that’s a bit more tricky in some ways. I guess similar to Rebecca. I think I finally got to a point where I’m definitely okay and fine being single. I legit have made 0 attempts on looking for a gf, and been mostly focused on myself for once. I definitely think I’m making some progress on myself and working even more on improving myself in mental/physical/etc aspects. I have gained back more confidence in myself as well. I definitely think I could be a great SO as well. Like I’d like to think that I’m fairly knowledgeable about relationships. I’ve done some reflecting and learned from mistakes on what to do/not to do and I hink I’ve improved in how I treat ppl/myself/etc as well! But hey, I’m the type of dude that would drive hours just to see a SO for an hour or even 30 minutes. I’m the type of guy that would genuinely cherish them, try to keep interest by flirting with them, show them love/affection through words + actions, give small gifts now and then, treat them to every meal if possible, drive them around, try to find new places for adventures, make plans with them, make sacrifices for them, try to get into their hobbies, pull all nighters for them, try to give amazing gifts, try to plan/throw great life milestone events, and etc. So I guess I’m confident in my ability on being a good SO, so I’m not shying away from relationships. But I’m not necessarily going out of my way to look for one. I’m trying for once to focus on myself and improve myself, be happy on my own, and become an even better person for myself and I guess maybe future SO as well. But yeah, not in the place in my life, where I can’t be vulnerable anymore. Definitely at a good place, where I could take risks and be vulnerable and open my heart again, if I wanted to. But no real big motivation to go out of my way to look for a SO or anything rn. If it happens, it happens. I guess semi-related to my love life, is that my ex Kristy randomly followed my theo.centric ig account o: we haven’t talked in maybe almost a year? So I’m surprised she followed me, but I followed back since whateverz. Nothing came out of it tho, still haven’t talked, and it’s been a while since uh she followed me (maybe a week)? As for Stefanie. Honestly, I miss her still a bit to this day. I guess I’m fine being single and would be open to dating other people. Yet for whatever reason, I still miss her deep down in my heart... I guess I just went through so much and spent so much time with her and was so used to having her in my life, that it’s hard without her sometimes. I guess I shouldn’t in some ways, since sigh some of the things she did to me... But idk... :( I can’t help it... I guess even tho I’ve ‘moved on’, the way things were/things ended just never sat well with me to this day like closure was kinda reached but not really... I guess in an ideal world, maybe she would have loved me more and looked only at me.. Oh well, life. Idk I guess it’s late and just in an eh mood. Idk it’s crazy, since I’ve broken up with Kristy/broke off short things with so and so, but I guess I never think about them this long after a break up... Idk why it’s like this with Stetefanie now... She was so mean to me too :( sigh. Maybe one last emotional update later. A bit sleepy now and I guess that’s all for now. I’m good, maybe sad a bit sometimes at night, improved myself, working on all my hobbies + school, and yeah.