#I have a fairly decent data plan

[dracolucius-abraxusmalfoy]

Im stuck without access to wifi for the next week and a half, and if anyone has any recommendations for some Massive podfics I can download, I would be forever grateful. I’m talking 10-20 hours.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

California zoo accessibility data dump

I just recently got back from a short (and fully covid-cautious) zoo road trip in Oregon and California, and wanted to share my notes re: accessibility at the facilities I visited. I'll get this all integrated into the spreadsheet, too.

Wildlife Safari - Winston, Oregon

This is a large drive-thru safari park with a free walk-about area attached that contains some small exhibits. Guests stay inside their cars the entire drive-thru, although there's at least one place to stop and sit in a gazebo to rest and use the bathroom (porta-potty only). You can pull over to watch animals for longer, and go through multiple times if you missed anything. It's a long drive-thru and there isn't really a good way to truncate the experience if you've got some kind of emergency. The roads are not flat, but they're well maintained and not bumpy.

The walkabout area is very small and contains bathrooms, food options, and other guest services. The paths are mostly concrete and well tended, although you do have to cross the steam train tracks to get to lion/some of the lemur viewing. I believe the Australia walkabout area was also unpaved. There's lots of parking in a big, flat, paved lot.

Sacramento Zoo - Sacramento, CA

This is a very cute, small inner-city facility - a good option if you don't want to try to walk a huge zoo in one day. There's lots of shade from all the plants and a good amount of benches throughout, including picnic tables with shade canopies. The paths are almost entirely flat and paved, with the exception of a boardwalk ramp up to the giraffe feeding and okapi viewing platforms. The cafe has gluten-free and vegetarian listings (maybe vegan?) on their menu. No straws are provided for animal safety, but if you need one, they can give you a reusable curly-straw from the slushies (kinda long and awkward for a normal cup) as an accommodation. They've got both water fountains and water bottle filling stations. Being build in a larger city park and recreation complex, there isn't a dedicated parking lot just for the zoo: the closest is across the street, shared with another attraction, and is kinda small. I've never had issues finding parking when I've gone, but sometimes it does involve a bunch of walking to get to the zoo entrance - if you have mobility or stamina limitations, probably best to get dropped off at the entrance and wait (there are benches).

San Francisco Zoo - San Francisco, CA

The SF Zoo is huge. There's lots of green / garden / swamp space that doesn't have habitats in it, but it means exhibits can be pretty far away, so plan your route accordingly. (Going out to the grizzly bears is the longest loop). Depending on the time of day, there's not always a ton of shade for guests either. There's a decent amount of benches, and quite a few are in decent proximity to animal viewing. After a somewhat long but not steep hill right at the entrance, the paths are all paved and fairly flat. There's a hill going down into/up from the Australia area / kids playground, but it's the only one I really noticed. There's a long elevated boardwalk through the lemur habitats that connects to the top of the new Madagascar construction - if you can't do stairs, as of Spring 2024, that's the only way to get up there to look down on the mandrills or see the top of the fossa habitat. (It's still under construction, so there might be an elevator in the building in the future). Back by the grizzlies, there's an old indoor rainforest building - while there's buttons to automatically open the door going in, I didn't find any on the first inside door going out. It makes sense they don't want both doors to open at once since it's a bird airlock, but not having independent ones on each door meant the day I used an ECV I got stuck in there until a nice staff member noticed.

All three times I've ever been to SF most of the little food kiosks haven't been open, and the vending machines for drinks have been hit and miss - so bring your own, or stock up at the cafe if you need to have supplies with you - but there are water fountains and water bottle filling stations around the zoo. There are interpretive audio boxes through the zoo in English and Spanish, used with a key you get at the entrance(?), but I heard a lot of complaints in passing about some of them not working. There's lots of parking at the zoo in a flat paved lot, and there's a specific dropoff area on one side for rideshares/mobility needs.

Oakland Zoo - Oakland, CA

To be clear up front - Oakland was the hardest facility to visit on this whole trip, with regards to mobility. We went twice, and I used an ECV (electric scooter) one and walked the other. Neither option was easy and both were exhausting. Oakland is a super hilly facility - you basically have to drive up a major hill to get to the zoo. The bottom half of the lower zoo can only be reached by going down pretty steep paths. The hills are also not graded to be "flat", so if you're in a wheelchair or ECV, you're going to have to lean to compensate for the tilt and balance the chair... while controlling it going down a steep hill. It's exhausting and kinda scary. (I don't even let other people carry my camera because $$, but I had to ask for help so I could focus on driving the ECV on those hills). There's also a lot of areas of the pathways that are not in the best repair, or patterned with pressed-in images, and multiple places actually have brass bugs embedded in the pavement so that they stick out above the surface. Lots of tripping hazards and/or things to rattle your teeth out rolling over. A couple places in the upper zoo (the California wilds area) the paths switch from paved to sand and back again, for drainage, maybe? On the upside, there's a lot of benches everywhere, including directly across from prime viewing areas.

Getting up to the upper zoo requires using a gondola - there's no walking option. You can actually take wheelchairs and ECVs on these, but you have to be ready to advocate for yourself. Normally, they don't stop the carriages completely, and expect people to walk on while they're still moving slowly. You can ask them to slow them down for you (I did, because knee issues plus torque is bad), or stop it completely if you need the time/help. When I took an ECV on, they had me disembark and get in one carriage, and they loaded it into the subsequent ones. This is fine because I can walk and stand on concrete for a while without it, but I'm not sure how that practice would work for people who need their mobility aids the whole time. They were very nice about managing the stopping and the loading and didn't make it feel like an imposition, too. If they stop the carriages completely at any point, there will be a loud buzzer/alarm when the ride starts back up. If you're close, it's pretty loud and startling. As they leave the track at the bottom the gondolas tip and dip a little, which can be scary if you're not expecting it - I think it's just the transition of the car from the loading bay onto the track itself. The rest of the ride is very smooth. The track is pretty high up and gives a great view of the bay and the surrounding cities, but face uphill if you don't do well with heights. Once at the upper zoo, the path from bald eagles through jaguar is mostly a boardwalk, but it's not too bumpy.

Oakland's parking is hard if you're not there early in the day, IMO. The overflow parking gets pretty far from the entrance, and starts to go up the hill towards the upper zoo. If the lot looks busy, drop anyone with mobility/stamina issues off at the entrance before parking. Unlike many other zoos I've visited, Oakland's ECVS have added sunshades, which is really nice (and which I should have used).

Monterey Zoo - Salinas, CA

This is a fairly small facility with most habitats on one level, but some big cats and bears are up a pretty big hill. The walkways are paved and flat, and there's an ADA-graded boardwalk ramp that takes you to the top of the hill. The pipes used for the handrails on both the stairs and the ramp get very hot in the sun, however. There's a boardwalk up to the rhino overlook. They indicate that their bathrooms are accessible, but the ones in the main building didn't have bars for transferring - I didn't check the ones up on the hill. At one point in the day speakers along the path started playing really loud pop music (drowned out the birds) and it was very overwhelming. There's lots of handicapped parking spots across from the front entrance, but if you don't have a tag, the rest of the spots are up a bit of a hill and a small walk from the entrance. They do have a note, though, that they can help if you need accessible parking and don't see any, so you could probably call/have someone to go in and ask for an accommodation.

Sequoia Park Zoo - Eureka, CA

This is another nice small facility, very doable for a half-day trip. The paths are paved and flat, and there's benches available. There's a lot of shade, although it can depend on the time of day, and places to fill a water-bottle. The sky-walk through the redwoods is accessible, but might be a little difficult depending on mobility limitations - its' a very sturdy boardwalk through the canopy of the tall trees. (I had more thoughts on this from my last visit, I'll dig out those notes). If you can do even part of it, it's worth it, and there's places to turn around. Because it's in a residential area of the town there's not a huge dedicated parking lot, but lots of street parking and a decent lot directly across the street. I've never had difficulty finding parking, and you can drop people off at the entrance easily.

[genjispeace]

Hate Me Sweetly - Genji X Reader

In which Genji and the reader get trapped in a closet together. The two tend to bicker on missions, and tensions rise in a small space.

tags: long, like seriously buckle in for this one, AFAB reader (mostly gender neutral but Genji does say good girl once), enemies-ish to lovers, I never really hated you, unprotected sex, rough sex, vulgar language, low-key a slow burn (they kissed on page 8 on my writing program), filthy but also sweet and soft (they're in loooooove)

side note: there is a moment in this where a man is threatening the reader. nothing ends up happening, but it felt like I needed to say that.

a/n: whew...hope this one was worth the wait. I am still sick, so it may not be my greatest, but I think this is actually my personal favorite of all i've posted hehehe hope you all enjoy it as much as I do <3

You hold your breath as you walk past one of the guards. He nods at you and you return a shy smile, hiding the majority of your face in your fake maid’s outfit. Being the only person at Overwatch that wasn’t often in the public eye, you’re usually the only option when it comes to sneaking anywhere. Like now, you are sneaking into a small side base that Talon has, hoping that you can retrieve data off one of their servers without making a scene. That sneaking, though, is often accompanied by disagreements from your team members. You have hardly any fighting experience compared to them, which means you are essentially being sent into a pit of vipers. You’re a gifted medic and fairly decent at working computers, but that’s where your experience stops.

“This isn’t a good idea,” a voice crackles over your in-ear device. Genji. He wasn’t a fan of this plan from the start, nor is he ever a fan of you sneaking into places. You grit your teeth and ignore him. He seems to doubt your capabilities in all situations, which grates on your nerves, especially considering how many times you have nursed his wounds and how many times you have successfully snuck in and out of places. You’re a valuable member of the team, which is something seemingly everybody except Genji can agree on. 

“Ignore him. We’ve got your back,” Cassidy’s southern drawl echoes in your ear. You know they do. They hacked into the security cameras and can watch your move, and they are close enough to break in if things go south. You have full faith that you are safe in their hands, even if Genji doesn’t want you there. 

The two men start to bicker through your in-ear and you tune it out easily. You make your way through the long hallways, your heels clacking on the tile floors. You pull at the hem of your dress, which was made to be a bit too short for your liking. It barely goes down past your butt, leaving the majority of your thighs bare. 

“Stop adjusting. You seem nervous,” Reyes’s voice says in your ear. You heave out a sigh as you look up at the camera in the corner of the hallway. A quick glance around you reveals that you’re alone, so you bite out a whisper back into your in-ear.

“I feel naked.” You really do. Not only are your legs nearly bare, but the outfit cuts low across your chest, leaving the top of your breasts visible. It’s cliche, offensive even, but apparently that is how Talon likes their staff dressed. 

“Darlin’, you look great,” Cassidy’s voice echoes again, and you roll your eyes. The two of you have been close friends for a while, so it’s not unlike him to jump at the first chance to tease you. You hear an annoyed sigh in your ear, which you think is from Genji. 

“Shut up, Cassidy. Now isn’t the time for you to stroke-” Genji starts to snap, but Reyes quickly cuts him off. 

“Enough. The security room should be at the end of that hallway on your left.”

You follow the instructions, carefully walking down the hallway. Your footsteps echo in the empty space, and you hate the way you start to shiver. You’re not cold, but the thought of it being nervousness makes you feel weak. You wrap your hand around the handle and start to turn it, Reyes telling you how to access the server in your ear. But, as soon as you push the door open, his voice fades away. 

A guard sits in the security room, leaning back in one of the chairs. Your breath hitches in your chest. This room is supposed to be empty. It is supposed to be an easy-in easy-out job. The room, full of different screens and computers, is bright and jarring, but the only thing catching your attention is the rifle that the guard has sitting on the ground next to him. He is facing away from you, and hasn’t seemed to notice you yet. Maybe you could grab the rifle from him, but what would you do after that? If you shot him, it would be too loud. No, you need a different approach for this one. 

“Get out of there,” Genji says in your ear. Of course he would want you away from it. He thinks you can’t handle just one guard. Maybe he’s right, but you want to prove him wrong. Maybe it’s that desire to make him eat his words that has your feet moving forward, crossing the large room until you’re standing next to the guard in his chair. 

He finally notices you, and you can feel his eyes on you as you bend over and reach for the trash can under the desk. When you hear him let out a low whistle, your skin starts to crawl. Could you knock him out with this? Your grip tightens on the plastic bin. No, not strong enough. Distract him long enough to sneak your flashdrive near the main computer?

“If he touches them, I’ll-” Genji’s voice crackles through the in-ear, but static starts to shriek over it. You flinch at the noise, but pretend to push hair out of your face so you can turn it off. 

“You’re new,” the guard says in a purr. You stand up, holding the small trash can in between you two, like some sort of barrier. He still sits in his chair, but he’s leaning forward now, his eyes tracing your face with intent. Once you’re standing, his eyes trace even lower and his gaze makes your skin crawl. 

“Yeah. Just started,” you mumble. You point at a balled up piece of paper on the other side of the large desk. You can’t get to it without him moving, and you really need to sell this maid act. “Can I get past you?”

“Be my guest,” he says, but barely inches his chair backward. You frown at first, then realize what he’s doing. You’ll have to push past him, practically be in his lap, to grab it. You start to snap something out, but then realize, if you do that and lean back against the desk, you should be able to reach the computer well enough to put your drive near it. It has to be within a few centimeters for around five minutes to get all of the data. Can you even hold out for that long?

You have to. Straightening your back, you place the bin on the ground and step in between the guard and the desk, reaching for that damned piece of paper. You finally grab it, but before you can retreat, the guard scoots his chair forward and pins you against the desk. His dark eyes are level with your breasts, and he seems to be taking advantage of that. You fight back every instinct in your body telling you to hit him and run. Instead, you use your hand that’s not holding the paper to reach into your pocket and pull out the drive. You place it softly behind you, praying that it is close enough. 

“Such a pretty thing. We don’t get many like you around here,” the guard coos, looking up at you. His eyes are dripping with evil and it has you shuddering under his glare. 

“Sorry, I-uh-I’m not-” you whisper out, trying to free yourself from the trap he has you in. He backs up just enough to stand up, but it also gives you enough space to get away, until his hand wraps around your arm. You wince at the feeling of his clammy fingers squeezing against your skin, then he turns you around and pushes you against the back wall. 

“You don’t get to come in here like that and not intend to do anything,” he barks out. His other hand has found its way to your hip, slowly inching upwards. 

“I’m just trying to do my job,” you say, hating the way that your voice shakes. You force your eyes shut. You don’t want to see how he is looking at you anymore. His hand keeps inching upwards, nearly cupping your breasts.

“Oh, you can do a job for me. How about-” he starts, but his voice shifts into a scream. Your eyes snap open and your heart plummets in your chest at the sight. Blood spurts out of what used to be his hand, the thick red liquid painting your dress and your chest. You cringe at the feeling of it, warm and sliding down in between your breasts. You finally snap out of your daze and you look up, where Genji stands a few feet away, his blade now dripping with blood. He moves so fast that neither you nor the guard can react, and the guard’s throat is quickly slit. His body slumps to the ground in a puddle of his own blood. 

“So much for subtlety,” Genji whispers, sheathing his blade behind him.

“I had that handled,” you say, but the way that your voice shakes says otherwise. Genji’s eyes widen at your words, and you wish you could see under the black mask to see the rest of his face.

“Bullshit. You-” 

“Got the data, didn’t I? I would have made it out,” you cut him off. Your fear and shock slowly starts to evolve into frustration. You would have completed the mission without him.

“Fuck the data! Who knows what he would have done to you,” Genji snaps back, closing the distance between the two of you. His chest heaves as his voice rises. He comes close enough you can see the deep brown in his eyes, a color you find beautiful most of the time. Now, though, that brown is alight with frustration. The way he is looking at you would be enough to kill somebody, but you have never backed down from him. 

“I am completely capable of handling this!” You scream out. Genji doesn’t back up, but he doesn’t say anything. He reaches up to your face and pushes onto your in-ear, turning it back on.

“-on your way. You’ll be outnumbered. Find a way to hide until we can get in,” Reyes shouts over the device. 

“Fuck,” you whisper. At that, you hear footsteps thundering down the hallway. Genji wraps his hand around your arm and pulls you behind him, leading the both of you to a door you hadn’t even noticed before. He pulls it open and shoves you inside. It’s some sort of utility closet, with various brooms and other supplies scattered around. It’s small, barely enough to fit you, but Genji manages to squeeze in with you. He pulls the door shut and it clicks, leaving the two of you standing there, chest to chest, with nowhere to go. You can’t even try to back up. You can barely breathe with how cramped the closet is. A small light twinkles above your head, barely giving any light. 

“What is your pla-” you start, but Genji clamps his hand around your mouth. You squeak in surprise at his touch, which is more gentle than you would expect from him. He seems to have better hearing than you, perhaps an advancement from his cyborg body, because you hear the door to the security room open after that. You watch Genji’s face with wide eyes as he listens to the men on the other side of the closet door. If they open that door, they’ll kill both of you. Genji’s otherwise soft features are hardened with focus, but you can’t help but shake. You could be dead in a minute. 

The guards’ voices overlap and blend in your mind. You try to pick up on what they’re saying, but any hope of focusing on anything is long gone now. Is this seriously how you’re going to die? Locked in a closet because a mission went sideways? Your chest aches at the thought of it. It may be a cliche, but you have always wanted to grow old with somebody. Find your soulmate, if there is such a thing, and live life to the fullest with them. Now, that wish seems far away.

The guards argue about something, but their footsteps and voices eventually fade. The door to the security room slams shut, and you let out a deep sigh from your nose. Genji lowers his hand away from your mouth, but you stay silent. He doesn’t seem to want to say anything either, but his hand moves against the doorknob and twists it. The door doesn’t move. There is enough light above you to make out a slight frown taking place on Genji’s features as he pushes on the door again, but it still doesn’t give. In the bleak light, you can barely make out the features of the door. It seems to be some kind of industrial one. Not exactly the type that could be knocked down easily. 

“Fuck,” Genji whispers. “Reyes, we’re locked in.”

“Fucking hell, Genji,” Reyes’s voice is in your ear again. “We’re locked out. We’re trying to get in, but we need more reinforcements now that the guards are alert.”

“So what? We just stay in the closet?” You say. Your voice is still quiet, like you’re still scared somebody will hear you. You hear a sigh from the other end before your commander speaks again.

“Yes. Stay put. We’ll work our way in. For now, turn your in-ears off. We don’t know what kind of technology they have. They might be able to scan for it.” Reyes sounds exhausted. 

“Yes, sir,” you whisper, reaching up to turn the device off. Genji doesn’t respond to Reyes, but obeys the command and reaches up to turn his off. That leaves the two of you standing, your fronts flush with one another, locked in a dark closet in silence. At least you’re not dead.

You lean back, your head knocking against the wall. It could be worse. Definitely could be better, but it could still be worse. A soft sigh escapes your lips. Not being in imminent danger, you are finally able to properly take in your surroundings. The cramped closet smells like dust, but the smell of blood takes over. Your skin is sticky with it and it stains. Some of it has dried, but it still leaves red blotches along your skin. It’s a good thing you aren’t squeamish and work with blood, or you would be nauseous now. 

“You okay?” Genji says. You snap up to see him watching you intently, his dark eyes searching your face. Are you okay? Hardly, but you also don’t want to seem weak to him. 

“I’m fine,” you say, and cringe at how weak your voice sounds. 

“Liar,” Genji replies. “Talk to me.”

“Why?” You snort. Maybe it’s being locked up in here, or maybe it’s the emotion from everything that just happened, but everything seems to be piling up. You’re afraid you’re going to snap if you stay like this without letting it out, but you can’t let it out to Genji. Not when he already doesn’t seem to want you on the team. 

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong,” Genji says. His voice is soft and gentle, much like his gaze on you. 

“We almost died,” you whisper out. 

“That’s part of the job,” Genji says softly. Maybe he didn’t mean it in a bad way, but the way he already doesn’t seem to think you can handle it combined with those words is enough to snap the rubber band of your patience. 

“I get it, okay? You don’t think I’m good enough for this. You don’t want me on the team. You hate me,” you yell at him. Your outburst seems to take Genji by surprise, because his eyes widen and his brows furrow. You let out a soft breath, then speak again. “Just forget it.”

“Hate you?” Genji mutters. He lets out a soft snort and you roll your eyes. 

“Just forget it, okay? We could die here, and I’d really rather not have my last moments be spent arguing with you,” you snap out. His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t seem to back down. 

“You think I hate you?” Genji looks down at you, his gaze now sharpened and fully on you. You can’t ignore how your heart beats harder under his stare. God, you’ve always found your attraction to him so irritating. You press your hands back against the wall, steeling yourself. The wall feels clammy against your hands, but it’s the only stability you have, other than leaning in Genji’s body. 

“You obviously do.” Genji’s brows furrow at your words. His gaze drops, then his eyes widen. He snaps his gaze away, staring at one of the walls. It’s hard to see in the dim lighting, but you swear you saw a dusting of pink along his face. You frown at his sudden shyness.

“Your-uh-I think I must have nicked your dress with my blade,” Genji coughs out. You finally look down to see what has the ninja blushing, and a deep red takes over your face too. The top part of your dress is sliced open, showing your soft skin blotched with drying blood. You’re wearing a bra, but the swell of your breasts are still visible, still covered in blood. A sigh escapes your lips as you reach up to the fabric, trying to pull it together and cover yourself up somewhat, but it’s no use. Your chest is bare and covered in blood, and you’re locked in a closet flush with Genji’s front. 

“Stop acting like a schoolboy. You’ve seen boobs before, haven’t you?” You mutter out. It’s going to be more awkward if he continues to refuse to look at you. 

“Of course, I have, but that was by their choice. Not…this,” Genji gestures with what little space he has to move. It’s then that you realize just how close the two of you really are. Your boobs are pressing against his chest, just barely, but the contact is still there. Your cheeks turn even redder at that, and you force yourself not to think about how it makes your nipples harden.

“It’s fine. You can look at me like this,” you say. A small part of you wants him to. You want to see his reaction when he gets a good look at your state. It’s a naive part, though. Surely he wouldn’t feel anything, right?

“You sure? You may not believe it, but I am quite a gentleman,” Genji says, and you can practically hear the smirk in his voice. 

“I’m sure. Or keep staring at the wall. I don’t care.” His head turns slowly, his eyes darkening as he looks at you again. You see a muscle in his jaw tick under the tight mask as his eyes drop lower, just briefly, then return to your face.

“You’re bloody,” Genji says, his rich brown eyes now locked with yours. Maybe he wasn’t interested, if one look is all he wants. You fight the urge to slap yourself. Now is not the time to think like this, especially about Genji, of all people.

“It’s not mine,” is all you can think to say.

“I know. My blades would never touch your skin. I’m angry I even got close,” he mutters, which makes you frown. That is the first time Genji has ever even hinted at being regretful to you. 

“You didn’t hurt me,” you say softly. There’s a sudden tenderness in his eyes, one that you have never seen before. 

“I could have.” 

Genji seems to cut off the conversation after that, not intending to talk about it anymore. The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes, you with your head leaned back and Genji leaning against the side wall. You wince when something seems to poke you in the back, and lean forward to adjust how you’re standing. It’s an absentminded movement, but it pushes you further into Genji’s front. You didn’t know it at the time, but it created an unholy amount of friction against Genji. He groans out and rests his forehead against the wall. A groan you mistake for discomfort. 

“Sorry. I think there’s a splinter in the wall,” you explain yourself. You continue moving, not realizing just how much you are rubbing up against him. 

“Please refrain from moving like that,” he breathes out. His voice sounds shaky. You frown, but finally pull the splinter from the wall and flick it to the ground. Except, something else seems to be poking you now. It’s in a different spot, lower and in your front. 

“Genji, move your blade. It’s poking me,” you mumble. Genji sucks in a deep breath as you look down, your eyes widening. You can barely see anything, but it doesn’t seem to be one of his blades pressing against you. 

“That’s not a blade,” you whisper out, your cheeks heating up again. He’s…hard? His clothes cover it for the most part, so you can’t see it, but you can certainly feel it. You look back up at him to see his face the color of cherries. He pushes off the wall and looks down at you, his brown eyes blazing.

“I told you I don’t hate you,” he says. You stare back at him utterly dumbfounded. He’s…attracted to you? No, maybe it’s just the confines of the space. Nothing else. You start to reply when a loud bang sounds from seemingly far away. You jump, which only pushes you more into Genji’s front. There’s some sort of fight happening outside. 

“Fuck. We’re going to die here,” you scream out. You turn to face the door, but Genji cups your face and forces you to look at him. He moves too fast, he always does, and he pulls his mask down and presses a kiss to your lips. It’s soft, ghosting, at first, like he’s waiting for you to pull away. You don’t.

You push further into it, letting him know just how much you want it. You feel him smile against your mouth before his kiss becomes more aggressive, more hungry. His tongue runs along your bottom lip and you whine at it, which gives him entry into your mouth. To say he kisses you would be unfair. He devours you. It’s like he wants to lap up every taste he can, in case he never gets the chance to do it again. Heat starts to flood to your core and you grind against him, but when the door to the security room slams open and shakes against the wall, the two of you pull apart. You pant against him, and he silently adjusts his mask, then unsheathes his sword. Feet stomp outside the closet, and you swear you hear a gun cocking. This is it. You’re going to die here. You get one last look at Genji, his gorgeous brown eyes, his angular face, his dark hair, just to take it all in. Then you squeeze your eyes shut. A tear rolls down your cheek. Is it going to hurt to die?

“They’re in here!” A voice calls out. You snap your eyes open. You recognize that Southern drawl. Cassidy. You try to call out to them, but your voice catches in your throat. You can’t help the smile that takes place on your features, and Genji presses his face against your forehead. He’s kissing you through the mask. 

“Cover your eyes. I need to break this lock,” you hear Cassidy call from the other side. You reach up to do it, but feel Genji wrap himself around you and shift so his back is to the door. He’s shielding you from it. If something goes wrong on Cassidy’s end, it’ll hurt Genji and not you. You try to fight him, but he’s always been stronger. You feel Genji’s hands close around your ears, but the sound of Cassidy’s grenade is still loud enough to make you jump.

“Don’t turn around,” Genji whispers in your ear. Your back is to the door as he lets you go, but you do as he says. Perhaps because you’re too in shock from thinking you were dead to move. 

“Cassidy, give me your shawl,” Genji says. The two start to bicker, but you eventually feel the soft fabric laced with the smell of gunpowder and cigars wrap around your shoulders. It goes down low enough to cover your bare chest, and that’s when it makes sense why he didn’t want you to turn around. Cassidy, and anybody else in the room, would see your chest. Maybe he is a gentleman. 

You soon feel an emptiness behind you and turn around. The bright lights force you to squint as your eyes adjust to it. As soon as your eyes adjust, you notice Genji is nowhere to be found. Cassidy helps you walk, in case you need it, and Reyes leans against the desk with the drive in his hand. He gives you a curt nod, which is his way of saying “good job” without actually saying it. You feel a warmth in your chest at the silent praise from him, but it’s not enough to warm up the cold absence you feel now that Genji isn’t next to you. 

Angela insisted on doing a full check-up on you as soon as you got back. She swatted Cassidy and Reyes both away, kicking them out of the room so she could make sure you were okay. Cassidy scowled at her and said something about his shawl, but the doctor slammed the door in his face. As a medic, you work under Angela a lot, so you know how serious she takes her patient care. There was no use fighting her, even if you did assure her over and over again that you were fine. She eventually discharged you, but not before giving you a loose shirt to wear back. As you were walking out the door, she even pulled you into a tight hug. You smiled at her, your heart warming. She may be your mentor, but she’s a damn good friend too.

You make it back to your room okay and, as soon as your door is shut, you strip off the extra shirt, then the torn up maid’s dress. The blood seeped through your clothes and onto your stomach. It’s dried and cakey now, a stark contrast to your skin. You crank the shower up and jump under the spray, letting it wash away everything. You have to scrub harshly against your chest to get it off, but the warm water soothes you. You’re back at base. You’re safe.

You stay in the shower until your fingers prune, and eventually hop out and change into sweats and a T-shirt. You stop at the mirror in your bathroom, which still has a slight layer of steam. Your attention immediately flies to your lips, and thoughts of Genji flood your mind. Did he kiss you because he wants you? Or was it just because he thought he might die?

There’s no point in fretting about it now, though. It happened. You wouldn’t take it away, and you hope he wouldn’t either. You open your bathroom door and step out into your room, the soft hardwood chilling your bare feet. The same ninja that was just in your thoughts sits on the edge of your bed. He looks up when he hears the door. His hair is wet, a few strands sitting on his forehead, and a cloth mask is on his face. 

“You okay?” His voice breaks through the silence.

“I’m alive,” you say, walking across your room and sitting on the bed next to him. You’re not touching each other, but you could if you moved. You don’t dare, though.

“I’m sorry,” his head hangs.

“What exactly are you apologizing for?” You stare at him. Is he apologizing for kissing you? Your heart sinks. If he tells you that he thinks it was a mistake, your heart may shatter into pieces. 

“Everything. Mostly my blade touching you.” His head still hangs, like he is refusing to make eye contact. 

“Genji, you didn’t hurt me. It didn’t touch my skin. You-”

“I could have!” He shouts. The sudden outburst takes you by surprise, and he stands up quickly and starts to pace your room. “You think I hate you? That’s why I don’t want you on missions?”

“Yes,” you answer him honestly. He stops pacing in front of you, and you have to tilt your head back to look at him. 

“I don’t hate you. I don’t want you on missions because I don’t want you getting hurt. The thought of anything happening to you, of living in a world without you,” Genji starts, but his words fade and he shudders. 

“Why?” Your head spins at his words. He’s always been so harsh about keeping you off missions.

“Because I love you,” he whispers. You almost thought you imagined it, but heat runs along your cheeks. Your gaze drops, but Genji tucks his hand under your chin and forces you to look up at him. “That’s why I kissed you when we heard the fighting. I thought…if I was going to die there, I wanted to be able to kiss you at least once first. That’s why I’m here now.”

“Genji,” you whisper, but his thumb grazing along your bottom lip stops you. 

“I can walk out that door right now. We’ll pretend it was just heat of the moment, not that I couldn’t stomach the idea of dying without kissing you at least once, and we’ll move on. Or…you stop me.”

Genji still rubs his thumb along your lip softly, the touch tender and gentle. The air hangs thick between the two of you. He’s putting his heart on the line. No, he’s putting his heart in your hands. You release a soft breath, as you look up at him. His dark eyes are pleading, almost scared.

“Don’t go,” you breathe out. Your voice sounds like a plea, one that Genji is all too eager to fulfill. You start to rise to your feet, and he watches you carefully, closely, but you don’t miss the spark in his dark eyes. You reach up to his face, wrapping your fingers around the mask. He could stop you at any point now, it would take nothing for him to overpower you, but he doesn’t. You pull the mask off his ears and down, dropping it onto the floor. 

For the first time, you can see under his mask in actual lighting. Pink scars litter his face, dotting across the skin. You feel him take a deep breath as you look at him. Is he really nervous? 

“You’re…” you reach up and touch one of the scars along his cheek “beautiful.”

Genji smiles, a lopsided grin that takes up half of his face. Your stomach flips at that smile, and suddenly want to see it more often. 

“As are you,” he says back. You cup his face, but don’t move otherwise. 

“Can I kiss you?” You say. It sounds like a plea again. 

“Please do,” Genji replies, and it’s enough to have you wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss you. Your lips lock and his scent fills your senses. Walnuts and fresh pine. His tongue darts along your bottom lip again, and you grant him entry easily. Your tongues intertwine and he takes over your entire existence. There’s nothing else. Just Genji. 

It’s softer and more tender than the previous kiss. Something past lust, something more. Your heart thumps in your chest and heat spreads to your core as his hands find their way to your hips. He pushes you down against the bed, the impact making a soft gasp come out. He falls with you, refusing to break the kiss. When you whimper into his mouth, though, he pulls away.

“Don’t make noises like that or you won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” he says. The low, gruff tone of his voice sends shivers along your skin and heat straight down to your core. He looks down at you with wild eyes, a deep hunger hiding under those deep brown orbs. 

“Maybe I want that,” you match his voice with a low one of your own. 

“I told you I love you, right?” He says, making you frown. Why is he asking that?

“Yes,” you reply.

“Good, because I’m going to fuck you like I hate you,” he groans out, then his lips are back on yours. It’s hard, aggressive, and starving. His fingers dig into your hips, where you know there will be bruises. His mouth leaves yours and moves to your neck, pressing harsh kisses along the skin. You whimper out when he bites you, which makes him growl against your skin. You feel his hands push under your shirt and you shudder at his touch on bare skin. His metal hand leaves a chill on your heated skin, but it only adds to the fire blazing inside you.

You don’t have a bra on, so when Genji’s hands ghost over your nipples you let out a soft gasp at the content. He continues sucking bruises into your neck and collarbone, but you feel him smile against your skin at your gasp. Your back arches from just his touch on your nipples, and you pray he gives you some sort of relief soon before you explode. He pulls away from your neck and pulls his hands out from under your shirt, and you whine at the loss of contact. In the time it takes you to blink, Genji rips your shirt off. Literally rips it, tossing the excess fabric away. He sits back on his heels and truly looks at you. Your skin is flush, your breasts moving with each breath you take, sweat beads along your skin. He licks his lips as he looks at you, and the motion is enough to make even more heat go straight to your core. 

“So fucking pretty,” Genji mutters, then his mouth is back on you. This time, though, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. You gasp out his name as his tongue moves along it. His hand, the metal one, pinches the other nipple. He continues sucking and pinching, but uses his spare hand to push your sweats and underwear down. You help him out and lift your hips, pushing until the clothes are off your body. He moves so one of his legs is in between yours, his knee on the bed. He’s so close to where you need him, but so far away. You squeak when his hand digs into your hip and pulls you down, so you’re rubbing against his leg. Fuck. His pants graze your core, and it’s just barely enough friction to have you grinding down onto it. 

“You gonna ride my leg?” He smiles against your skin. You try to bite back a response, but he takes your nipple in between his teeth and silences you. You keep grinding onto his leg, letting the friction rub against your clit and give you a small amount of relief. But it’s not enough. 

“Genji, please…I need you,” you whimper. You know you sound desperate, but you don’t care. “Inside me.”

Genji’s grip on your hip tightens even more, blurring the line between pain and pleasure, and he growls lowly against your skin. He pulls away long enough to pull all of his clothes off, and it’s your turn to gawk. He’s all lean muscle in a lithe frame. The metal of his hand reaches up his arm, then there’s metal starting around the middle of one of his thighs. You try to gawk more, but he wraps his hand around your ankle and pulls, dragging you along the bed. You feel your breasts bounce with the motion and Genji’s eyes zero in on that too. 

“Do you have any condoms or…?” Genji snaps himself out of his daze, but you shake your head. You’ve had an implant for birth control for years now. 

“I want you, no barriers,” you say. “I want you to finish inside too, if you want.”

“Fuck…” Genji says, his eyes searching your body. “You can’t just say things like that.”

You start to say something back, but his hands on your thighs silences you. Expectation builds up inside you, and you finally feel his fingers rubbing at your core. He rubs slow, agonizing circles into your clit, but it’s enough to have your head rolling back. You’re already wet enough, and he pushes one finger into you slowly. You try to close your thighs, but a sharp smack against one of them freezes you. The fading pain melds pain and pleasure together, and it makes you clench around his finger. 

“You like that? Does my pretty thing like it rough?” He mewls, slowly stroking his finger in and out. 

“Yes,” you mumble in between ragged breaths. He adds another finger, but his pace stays slow.

“Good girl,” he coos, rubbing the spot he had smacked. He starts to pick up his pace, working you with just his fingers. Your orgasm builds up faster than you thought it would, his fingers bringing you to the edge. Your moans and whimpers fill the room, and your hands grip into your bed. Your skin starts to buzz, that familiar feeling building up in your core. Your legs shake, and Genji slaps your thigh again. He slaps the other one, curling his fingers inside of you at the same time, and it’s enough to make you fall apart. You cry out, your back arching off of the bed. Your heart beats in your ears and black dots your vision.

“Pretty when you cum, too,” Genji says, pulling his fingers out of you. He takes them up to his lips, dipping them into his mouth and tasting you off of them. You clench around nothing at the sight, begging for him to give you more. He smiles down at you, pushing your thighs further open so he can align himself at your entrance. 

“Look at me,” he says. Your daze from your last orgasm is slowly coming down, and you’re able to focus. You lock eyes with him and as soon as you do, he starts to push inside you. Your mouth falls open at the stretch, soft whimpers escaping as you take each inch. His brows furrow, but his brown eyes stay on you. He wants to see your face as you take it all. And take it all you do. He’s not small by any means, and the stretch gives you a delectable sting. 

“Fucking hell,” Genji says. He doesn’t move for a bit, letting both of you adjust. “How did I know your pussy would be fucking perfect?”

“How did I know your cock would be perfect?” You say back, which makes a smirk grow on his features. It’s true, he stretches you perfectly, melding pain and pleasure in the most delicate way. He starts to move slowly, and even then, each thrust has soft moans escaping your mouth. He starts to move faster, reaching up to intertwine your fingers together as he does. His other hand, though, does something less tender, as it wraps around your throat. It’s not a tight hold, just enough to keep control, as he thrusts. You clench around him with each thrust, matching his pace with your own. 

“Genji,” you whimper his name out, like a sacred prayer. “Genji.”

“You gonna come around my cock for me like a good girl?” Genji says. You whimper at the sound of such vulgar language coming from his mouth. That, and the praise, of course. You nod, not trusting yourself to form anymore words. His hand leaves your throat and snakes down your body, his fingers reaching your clit. You scream out at the sensation of both, any little resolve you had quickly fizzling away. You toss your head back and scream out his name, your nails digging into the hand he’s still holding in, as your orgasm rocks through you. If you thought the first one was strong, it was nothing compared to this one. Your legs shake, electricity building through your entire body like a crackling live wire. Genji helps you through your release, never easing up on you. You hold tighter onto his hand as he continues to overstimulate you, his fingers still on your clit and his thrusts still quick. You pant out breaths as it comes down, but you can feel yourself continuing to clench around him. He lets out a soft curse, then groans your name. His thrusts come to a messy stop as he reaches his orgasm, his hand in yours tightens as he finishes inside you, the sensation making your legs shake. His head drops into the crook of your neck, the two of you panting against each other. His warm breath tickles your skin as he catches his breath. His soft and fluffy hair tickles your neck in a way that feels incredibly intimate.

“I love you too,” you say. It’s quiet, and you’re not certain he even heard it, but you feel him press a soft kiss to your neck. He pulls back and smiles down at you, that lopsided toothy grin filling your chest with warmth. His skin is sweaty, but it makes him even sexier. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, pulling out and helping you up. You try to walk on your own, but your legs are so weak that you almost drop. He catches you and helps you to the bathroom, where he grabs a washcloth and warms it in the sink. His touch is gentle and tender as he cleans you, a stark contrast to his roughness from earlier. Eventually, he finishes and helps you back to your bed. He lets you on first, then crawls on the bed and presses against you. You roll so you can lay your head on his chest. 

“Genji?” You say softly.

“Hm?”  “I like knowing that you don’t hate me,” you say, but sleepiness seems to take over your voice. Genji laughs, and your heart lurches. You’ve never heard a genuine laugh from him, and it’s a beautiful sound. One you want to earn more often. You start to doze off, listening to his heart beating in his chest and feeling him run his hand up and down your spine. You really like knowing that he doesn’t hate you.

[lemotmo]

One more! She got a follow up regarding the numbers guestimation.

A. Hi anon 🙂. It's actually relatively easy to figure out spamming. It's not a well thought out plan of action. And why I never understood why they thought it was a genius idea. My friend is a data analyst in his grown up real life so he could be much more technical than me, but I will give you the simple answer. Comment sections are full of the same blogs. The same blog names you can track from ppst to post on Instagram, Twitter and Ticktock. Same on Tumblr. The same group of blogs do all the spamming. It's also fairly easy to decipher which blogs/accounts are being run by the same person. Speech patterns, sentence structures. Posts that feel repetitive or similar to another blogs post. It's not a sophisticated tactic. And I do want to stress that there's not really anything wrong with doing it, except in this case people were doing it to send hate to the cast and to spam the shows official accounts. That's disgusting. And they deserve to be called out and busted for it.

Fandom is supposed to be fun, and it usually is. Smaller fandoms are usually the best kind of fandoms because less people usually means less manufactured drama. They tend to just stay in their lane and headcanon and fanon away with one another. It's great. All fandoms usually end up having de facto 'leader' blogs. It just happens. They tend to become the bigger voices within the fandom. Sometimes fandoms get lucky and they're legitimately cool decent people running them. Sometimes fandoms get unlucky and those blogs are run by douchebags (legit couldn't think of a nicer word, I'm so sorry). Unfortunately for you all, you wound up with the douchebags. The blogs you all ended up following the lead of were basically like politicians who had to manufacture enemies (Oliver and Ryan) and ship wars (Buddie) in order to get attention because their fandom numbers weren't big enough to garner attention any other way. That's the reality. They needed bigger numbers so they pretended to be more people. Only instead of just shipping their ship and enjoying it they used those extra blogs to openly send vile, disgusting and increasingly unhinged things to the show and its cast and anyone else who didn't ship their ship. Openly sending hate to a cast has never led to victory for shippers. It's the dumbest idea of dumb ideas. And inevitably leads nowhere. No one can outrun their hubris. And when you decide to start ranting about being sent private DM's from Tim, something that is blatantly and laughably false, it's the beginning of your end. The good news is increasing numbers of you have finally realized this and are backing away. If you genuinely enjoy the ship by all means ship it as long as it's canon, hell you can ship it once it stops being canon. That's what fandom is for. But you have to acknowledge the reality of canon. You can hate it. You can ignore it, but you have to acknowledge it. And then retreat to fanfic. It's the fandom way. But you don't get to yell and scream about homophobia and other invented wrongs because a higher number of people ship the other ship and the show doesn't appear to be telling the story that that blog and others desperately tried to convince people they were telling. Artificially inflated numbers don't change reality.

Oh, this is interesting. I had a basic understanding of how the detection of spamming worked, but this is very informative and frankly very fascinating as well.

The rest of this is, once again, serving major truth bombs. I'm in awe of the eloquence on display here. I wish I could meet the OP in real life. I have a feeling I'd love to talk fandom with them.

And it's true you know, shipping a couple doesn't have to stop because another one is canon. In fact, we are here doing the exact same thing. BT is canon right now. We know this. We accept it for what it is at the moment, but that doesn't stop us from shipping Buddie, speculating about their future, theorising what will happen in season 8, writing and reading fic, making gifsets, creating art, digging up parallels, discussing our own personal headcanons. We've been doing this for years, through multiple love interests for Buck and Eddie. We never quit and I highly doubt we ever will, canon or not canon.

Thank you again for dropping this in my ask box Nonny! :)

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[paullovescomics]

Star Trek The Next Generation Gulliver's Fugitives

Spoilers. Not a very serious review. This is the 11th TNG novel, published in 1990.

The Enterprise investigates the disappearance of another Starfleet vessel, the Huxley, whose last known location was within a nebula. These dang nebulas, y'all. Ships always getting lost in them. Turns out there is a pre-Federation human colony on a planet in that nebula, and it has devolved into a fascist state that outlaws all forms of fiction. Not gonna lie, i skimmed a lot of this because that's not the kind of world i want to read about right now.

When contact is made, a few representatives of this planet are beamed aboard. That's fine, but the colonists also manage to get some of their floating robot enforcers onboard, and these things are pretty much invulnerable. They can read humans' minds, so they know when you're about to shoot them. They shoot radiation that kinda boils your brain. Picard is kidnapped and taken to the surface. Ultimately, the assholes on this planet want to destroy the Enterprise so they don't spread any "fictions" about interstellar travel, aliens, or other ways of life being okay.

You might think the crew of the Enterprise could deal with the robots fairly quickly, but no, it takes them most of the novel to figure out a solution. They can't read Data's mind, or Worf's (because they've only had exposure to humans til now), so maybe send the non-human security officers, or whip up some drones with guns in the replicators? Which makes me ask a question I often ask while watching or reading Trek: why don't these people use robots or drones or droids like, hardly ever? You could save a few ships from getting lost in crazy nebulas, for one thing. Oh well. Trek universe just doesn't like robots.

There is s resistance on the colony planet, and the too small and under-armed away team gets mixed up with them. Well, Troi does. Riker and Data get captured. Some of these folks are cool. They take on identities of fictional (mostly mythical) characters.

This book introduces a couple of new characters that are given pretty full backstories, enough so that I had to double check the Memory Alpha and Beta websites to make sure they weren't from TV episodes I'd just forgotten. (I've seen all of TNG, but those early episodes don't stick in my mind very well.) But no, they are new. The author just went the extra mile to flesh them out a bit. Makes you wonder if he planned to bring these characters back in later novels, but apparently that did not happen.

Anyway, things eventually work out, and we get the sense that big changes are about to happen on this planet, and nobody from the Enterprise had to violate the Prime Directive to accomplish that. Picard and the away team are really put through the ringer, with mind-wipes and coming within seconds of being executed. Those kind of stakes always feel weird in tie-in fiction, because on one level you feel the threat, but on another level, you know tie-in fiction isn't allowed to change the main characters. So do you play along with it, or do you question it? Creates an odd tension in the old brain.

If you really like early TNG and you dig tie-in novels, you'll probably have fun with this one. These books are still in a lot of used book stores, and still in decent shape despite being thirty freaking years old.

Live long and prosper, folks.

[possessivesuffix]

My latest in trawling thru semi-random comparative etymological dictionaries: Hudson (1989) on Highland East Cushitic. He gets together 767 reconstructions, a decent amount on a group of relatively little-studied languages. A nice chunk of vocabulary can be reconstructed especially for the major crop of the area, the enset tree (*weesa), its parts (e.g. *hoga 'leaf', *kʼaantʼe 'fibre', *kʼalima 'seed pod', *mareero 'pith', *waasa 'enset food') and tools for processing it (*meeta 'scraping board', *sissa 'bamboo scraper).

There surely has to be material among the reconstructions though that represent newer spread, most clearly the names of a few post-Columbian-exchange foodstuffs: *bakʼollo 'maize', *kʼaaria 'green chili' — same terms also e.g. in Amharic: bäqollo, qariya (Hudson kindly provides Amharic and Oromo equivalents copiously). (Note btw a vowel nativization rule appearing in these: Amharic a → HEC aa, but ä /ɐ/ → HEC a [a~ɐ~ə], as if undoing the common Ethiosemitic shift *aa *a > a ä.) Slightly suspicious are also a few names of trade items and cultural vocabulary / Wanderwörter like *gaanjibelo 'ginger', *loome 'lemon' (at least the latter could be again plausibly fairly recent loans from Amharic lome) but these could well have reached southern Ethiopia even already in antiquity.

In terms of root structure, interesting are two monoconsonantal roots: *r- 'thing, thingy, thingamajig' (segmentable from a diminutive *r-iččo and from Sidamo ra) and *y- 'to say'. Otherwise verb roots are the usual Cushitic *CV(C)C-, clusters limited to geminates and sonorant + obstruent; with several derivative extensions such as *-is- reflexive, *-aɗ- causative. *ɗ actually occurs almost solely in the last, I would suspect it's from one of the well-attested dental stops *t / *d / *tʼ with post-tonic lenition. Long vowels also seem to occur fairly freely in the root syllable with even several "superheavy" roots like *aanš- 'to wash', *feenkʼ- 'to shell legumes', *iibb- 'to be hot', *maass-aɗ- 'to bless', *uuntʼ- 'to beg'; *boowwa 'valley', *čʼeemma 'laziness', *doobbe 'nettle', *leemma 'bamboo', *mooyyee 'mortar'… A ban on CCC consonant clusters does seem to hold however, apparently demonstrated by *moočča ~ *mooyča 'prey animal', which probably comes from an earlier *moo- + the deminutive suffix *-iččV; resulting **mooyčča would have to be shortened in some way, either by degemination or by dropping *-y-.

In V2 and later positions there seems to be morphological conditioning of vowel length, cf. e.g. *arraab- 'to lick' : *arrab-o 'tongue'; *indidd- 'to shed tears' : *indiidd-o 'tear' (and not **arraabo, **indiddo). And as in these examples, also many basic nouns appear to be simple "thematizations" of verbs, similarly e.g. *buur- 'to anoint, smear', *buur-o 'butter'; *fool- 'to breathe', *fool-e 'breath'; *kʼiid- 'to cool', *kʼiid-a 'cold (of weather)'; *reh- 'to die', *reh-o 'death'. I don't actually see a ton of logic to what the "nominalizing vowel" ends up being though and maybe it's sometimes an original part of the stem, not a suffix. Quite a lot of unanalyzable nouns on the other hand are actually fairly long, e.g. *finitʼara 'splinter', *hurbaata 'dinner', *kʼorranda 'crow', *kʼurtʼumʔe 'fish', *tʼulunka '(finger)nail'.

Further phonologically interesting features include apparently a triple contrast between *Rˀ (glottalized resonants) and both *Rʔ and *ʔR clusters [edit: no, it's just very inconsistent transcription]; also ejective *pʼ is established even though plain *p is not (that has presumably become *f).

Lastly here's a some etyma I've found casually amusing:

*bob- 'to smell bad': take note, any Roberts planning on travelling to southern Ethiopia

*buna 'coffee': yes yes, this is the part of the world where you cannot assume 'coffee' will look anything like kafe

*mana 'man': second-best probably-coincidence in the data

*raar- 'to shout, scream' 🦖 [and looks like maybe a variant of *aar- 'to be angry?]

*sano 'nose': "clearly must be" cognate with PIE *nas- with metathesis :^>

*ufuuf- 'to blow on fire', oh yeah I've needed that verb sometimes

*waʔa 'water': Cushitic With British Characteristics

[shirohige-pirates]

Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Chapter 3: Two Jobs

A week in the house turned into three weeks. The end of the third week was also the end of your first week of work. You got your foot in the door at a firm not too far from where Sabo worked, and your job was just some basic data analytics. The pay was decent, and the hours were stable, so you managed to get yourself set up as the de facto cook for the house.

You were the only one with a set start and end time, so it was easiest for you to plan meals and prep for everyone else. You’d bought a lot of bento boxes and thermoses so you could start organizing things, and even out some nutrition for the others. Sabo did the laundry, and Ace and Luffy kept the house clean.

So far it was working out well, and you all managed to get time off Friday evening and were currently celebrating.

All Blue was a jazzy bar and restaurant that was run by another of Luffy’s friends. You were fairly certain the young man was simply friends with the entire city at this point, and Ace and Sabo couldn’t disagree. Sanji was a phenomenal cook according to all three boys, and had decent taste in music as far as you were concerned. The vibe of the venue was also on point, as there were well organized and maintained aquariums built into the bar, walls, and ceiling in a few places.

Sanji came to the table to bring your meals.

“Ah, the mysterious sister!” He says, setting down plates with grace and skill. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Welcome to the All Blue!”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” you say, just loud enough to be heard over the live jazz band. They weren’t playing too loud – it would probably harm the fish – but it was loud enough to make you raise your voice a little. “Your restaurant is beautiful, Mr. Sanji!”

“Not nearly as beautiful as some of my customers.” He replies with an easy smile. You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, but Sanji shifts his attention to the rest of the table. “Luffy said you were celebrating?”

“(Y/N) has survived a week at her job,” Luffy says, putting his hands up in victory.

“She’s also survived three weeks with us.” Ace adds before taking a drink.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful customer.” Sanji says with a wide smile. He bows with a little flourish. “May you enjoy your celebration, Miss. Please enjoy the food.”

“I’m sure I will, thank you.” You reply as he walks away. You turn toward Sabo. “The way you talked about him I expected him to be a lot more cringey and a lot less smooth.”

“Three years ago, he was awful.” Sabo assures you. “Then he finally settled down, and I guess he settled down in other ways too.”

“Oh, did he find his soul mate or something?” You ask.

Ace grabs your shoulder and guides your gaze toward the bar. “See the bartender?”

Your eyes go a little wide. “Yeah.” A young woman was behind the bar with long dark brown hair and a feisty countenance. She was maybe a little shorter than Luffy and had an easy smile. She was laughing with some patrons, when Sanji walked by and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing into the kitchen.

“That’s the fiancé.” Ace explains. “The one person in the New World who managed to settle Sanji.”

“Well.” You lean back and begin to dig into your main course. The appetizers had been delicious and had been brought out by someone who wasn’t the bartender or Sanji. “Did Sanji have this place before or after they got together?”

“After. It was part of their agreement.” Luffy answers.

“Agreement?”

“She made him woo her for a year, and in that time, they got everything for this place sorted.” Ace explains.

“Made him?” You quirk an eyebrow.

“Sanji wanted to get married the day they confessed to one another.” Sabo clarified, and you nearly choke on your food.

After a drink of water, you turn toward Sabo in disbelief. “That’s a tad fast, yes?”

“They’d known each other for a few years by that point.” He offers. You can tell from his smile that he agrees with you though. “I think he said something about being a fool for taking so long to notice. Lyn’s lovely, when they’re a little less busy we’ll introduce you.”

“He didn’t want to waste any more time.” Luffy says, and you notice he’s already cleared his plate. You’re not sure what to say about any of it, but before you can speak, Sanji’s already come over with another plate of what Luffy ordered. He sets it down in front of the young man with little more than a “here you go”, and then was back off toward the kitchen.

“… How many times is he going to do that?” You ask.

“At least two more times.” Ace answers. “Sanji’s the only person who can feed Luffy to full.”

“Luffy can be full?” You ask the question without thinking and the table breaks out into laughter – Luffy included.

The four of you continue to eat, and sure enough Sanji brings three more plates for Luffy by the end of it. He doesn’t hang around to talk, but the All Blue is packed to the gills, so you’re sure he’s very busy. It was probably more time than he had to spare to bring the dishes to your table in the first place.

By the end of your meal, Luffy was full, you and Ace were a little toasted after a small drinking contest, and Sabo was sober, but smiling. He wasn’t smiling that tight, concerned smile he gets when he’s irritated either, so you knew he was having fun.

“This was quite the celebration, thank you.” You say, leaning your head against Sabo’s shoulder for a moment. “I wish we could’ve done something more exciting.”

“What’s a proper lady like you consider exciting?” Ace teases. He’d been calling you a proper lady since before the drinking contest, and the wide smile on his face assured you he meant it kindly.

You right yourself, sitting up before you wiggle a little to the jazz music. “It would’ve been fun to go dancing, or camping maybe. Something new would’ve been nice.”

“You’ve… never been camping?” Ace and Luffy ask at the same time.

You shake your head. “Too risky, and I was taught how to dance, but I don’t do it often.” You can feel yourself sobering up, but you manage to keep your tone light. “I slept for 14 hours a day for three days after the move, if we went dancing tonight, I’d sleep my Saturday away, and unfortunately I have an obligation tomorrow.”

The word obligation dripped from your mouth like it was covered in poison and oil. You couldn’t help but nearly spit the frustrating phrase from your lips.

Sabo sighs and rolls his eyes. “Did she do it already?”

You sigh. “Yeah, mother set me up on a coffee date tomorrow.”

“You haven’t been graduated a month!” Sabo seems even angrier than you feel.

“She said I should be grateful she waited until I had graduated.” You say, mimicking your mother’s affect. “I wanted to tell you before the celebration, but we all kind of showed up here and I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”

“You don’t have to worry about that with us.” Ace says, giving you an easy smile, and yanking Luffy over with him. “We’ll always cheer you back up!”

Luffy smiles at you, that wide smile he has. “Yeah! You can say what you need to!” He asserts, putting his arms up as Sabo nudges you a little.

“Ah, you’re all too much.” You tighten your lips and do your best to smile. “I hadn’t imagined the best part of moving in with my brother would be support from his brothers.”

All three of them smile for a moment before Sabo’s face drops. “Hey – wait a minute!”

Your laugh rings out at your brother’s displeasure, and you’re trying to console him, but you keep breaking into giggles instead. You don’t see the expression on Ace’s face, but Sabo does.

. . . . . .

Saturday morning you woke up and went through your routine. Showered and dressed, you made your way downstairs and started making breakfast. The boys wouldn’t be up for another hour and that gave you plenty of time to prep all the ingredients and make some snack boxes in case anyone had to go into work today. It was easier to just assume they would have to, than to assume they’d be staying at home.

Sabo came down first. He was already dressed for work, so you knew he was going in.

“Mornin’ sister dear.” He greeted you with a lazy smile, brushing his still damp hair from his face. “I shouldn’t be in for too long today, I can pick you up from the café if you want?” He offers.

You shake your head. “I don’t want to risk offending mother just yet.” You say, plating him up some food as he sat at the breakfast bar. “If whoever this is complains about my dear brother interrupting us, she’ll be a headache and a half.”

“Mm, fair. Still, please do call if he’s out of line.” Sabo says, turning his small breakfast into a sandwich by piling it all between two slices of toast. “I’ll even leave the office to help.”

“Of course.” You say with a smile.

Sabo finishes his breakfast and heads out, giving you a small hug before he leaves. A few minutes later Ace and Luffy wander into the kitchen. Luffy is dressed, barely, but well enough, and Ace is in shorts. You’ve adjusted a bit to seeing the two barely clothed, but a topless Ace is a small treat first thing in the morning.

“Work for Luffy, but not for you?” You question, setting plates in front of both of them.

“Meeennng-hurgh.” Luffy makes a weird noise as he begins to eat his breakfast. “Long EMT shift today.” He says. He doesn’t seem to be whining about the shift, more that he’s up so early.

Ace begins to eat too. “On-call.” He says between bites, reaching over the bar and putting a few extra bits of food onto Luffy’s plate automatically. “When’s your second job start today?”

You tilt your head for a second before the light dawns. Keeping your mother happy was enough of an energy drain, calling it a second job was valid. “Coffee’s at 11am. I was going to have a light breakfast and grab a taxi around 10:30.”

“If you need someone to come get you-.” Ace starts, but you’re already smiling.

“Sabo offered earlier too.” You explain. “I’ll be fine. If someone comes to my rescue and he complains to mother it’ll be an issue. But if he’s truly rude, I’ll just make a scene in the café.” You say with a smile. “Then I’ll call my mom and head off anyone else trying to control the story.”

“Sounds like a headache.” Ace grumbles.

You stretch before replying. “It is.” You admit taking a couple bites of food before continuing. “Nobles, Royals, Celestials – it’s all a big pain in the ass. I’m almost glad Sabo and I are nobles, and not any higher up the line.”

You take a few more bites and frown. “It’d be best if we weren’t even nobles.”

“I’m glad you two are!” Luffy says brightly. He’s finished eating his first plate and is wide awake. You slide a second plate over, tilting your head a little. “Sabo found Ace and I because he was Sabo, and you’re here cause you’re you.” Luffy takes a few big bites as you start to realize his point. “If you weren’t who you were, you might not’ve ended up me an’ Ace’s nakama!”

You glance over at Ace with a smile, catching his gaze unintentionally, and look back over to Luffy before continuing. “A small price to pay, I guess. Thank you Luffy.”

Luffy nods as he cleans his plate. “If you don’t like being a noble so much, why not quit?”

“It’s not impossible.” You say, gathering three bento boxes and tying them together. “But it’s a long process. I have to prove personal independence first, or provide mitigating circumstances. One of the reasons Sabo decided to become a lawyer was to make sure we could both break off clean as soon as possible.

“The short version is that someone has to sign off on my declaration. I can’t just declare it.”

“… Why?” Luffy asks, tilting his head. “Can’t you just decide?”

You let out a sigh. “Luffy, she can’t just-.”

“Ah, it’s okay Ace.” You interrupt. You purse your lips together and look back to Luffy. You know what you’re going to say will upset him, but you’re trying to sort out how to soften the blow. “Noble blood is considered a commodity. There are few Celestials, a few more Royals than Celestials, and a lot more nobles than Celestials and Royals.”

You grimace a little and sigh again but continue. “The system is such that inbreeding can be avoided among the Celestials and Royals by utilizing the larger pool of nobles. We’re, effectively, acceptable commoners, in the grand scheme of it all. But because of that it’s difficult to renounce one’s title.

“Sterry, for an example, is the son of a couple of criminals. Not that that would ever become public knowledge, but his parents were nobles. Instead of losing out on the potential, they allowed him and his sister to be adopted. Separately, mind you. I don’t even know if Sterry knows.”

“Why separate them?” Ace questions.

You crinkle your nose a little, waving your hand a bit. “It… spreads the impact.”

“That’s gross.” Luffy says, his face crinkled in an emotion somewhere between distaste and anger.

“It is.” You agree. “So we have to cut ties correctly. Until then, we have to play the game, at least minimally. Which means I accept the dates my mother sets up for me.”

Luffy makes a face, and you can see the internal struggle cross his features. It makes you feel better, honestly, having such a kind person like him in your proverbial corner. Somewhere in the back of your mind you can clearly imagine Luffy and Ace setting the noble district ablaze to rescue you.

Perhaps they would do so if you simply asked them to.

Help me be free.

You keep your thoughts to yourself for now, and tense a little as Luffy gives you a hug suddenly. You return the gesture and he steps back, the gaze he levels at you is almost uncomfortable - it’s like he’s reading your very soul for a moment.

“Okay!” He nods, but you’re not sure what’s going through his mind. “I gotta go, have a good day!”

He gives you both a wave and dashes out of the house. You tilt your head and look over at Ace who only shrugs.

“He’s not going to, um, do anything rash, is he?”

Ace almost chokes on his food before laughing. “He might want to,” he admits. “But Luff won’t start a revolution unless you ask him, and Sabo lets him.”

“… the way you say that makes me nervous.” You sit back down across from Ace and continue eating your breakfast.

“How so?”

“Like… you’d join him, not stop him.” You say it with a smile, but when you see the look on his face your breath catches. “I-.” You stop, unsure of what to say. For some reason you almost want to apologize, or let him. Let him and Luffy just do it. Just level your parents’ home, rock the world, rage against it, set it on fire and force it to change.

It’s an absolutely insane train of thought, but some part of you is compelled to believe it would be possible.

Ace finishes eating. “Call me if he steps out of line.” He says, ruffling your hair a little as he walks back to his room.

[sophieinwonderland]

Can you talk about the study on tulpas that Stanford is doing? We remember you mentioning it

Sure!

Here is the post in r/tulpas from 2019

The event was 3 days long: 2 for travel, and 1 day for scans and interview.

I flew in in the evening, and caught a university paid Uber to the hotel. It was in the afternoon at this point. The flight from SLC to SFO isn’t a particularly long one, so I wasn’t horribly tired and didn’t feel like crashing for much. I relaxed a bit, and decided to meet up with another mancer in the area, and get a bite to eat. After a lovely talk with them, I headed back to the hotel to try and get some decent rest for the far more busy day tomorrow.

I had previously told the crew that I was more of an evening person, so we had the interview over lunch, and did the MRI scans later in the afternoon. Lunch was at Tanya Luhrmann’s home with Michael Lifshitz, on the Stanford campus. The interview was actually rather enjoyable, and gave us much time to talk about tulpas, the community, and Aly in particular. The interview was recorded by all 3 of us at the table, but the other two also will be transcribing it for better use later. It’s entirely possible to ask for a copy from them, and I might get a transcribed version later, but I have my own copy of the audio at least.

The interview was fairly free form. There were some formulaic questions, much like I received in the pre-study questionnaire. But there were also much more open ended questions, that didn’t have a set destination. More than once Tanya would get excited by a response, and ask more followup question that would end up following one tangent after another. The questions were fairly varied; from the more expected ones like how I found out about tulpas or why I made Aly, to more unexpected ones like trying to describe how specifically Aly helps me. The time flowed pretty quickly during the interview, as I attempted to explain my relationship with Aly and the experience of having her. I think I did okay, but there weren’t really any sort of wrong answers.

The MRI scan was fascinating. Due to scheduling restrictions, my session was broken into two portions. Each portion we focused on a separate task. I’m told that one of the two tasks was new, and I was the proverbial guinea pig, but I’m also told that it was a ton easier than the previous one. I wasn’t going to complain. I don’t want to go into too many details, to not poison the well so to speak, so that people can practice for the specifics of the experiments. The first one focused on mindvoice and possession/disassociation. It was probably the longer of the two, since it was a little more involved than the second. We found the test to be harder than expected, even though we knew a bunch of the specifics since we helped design the test. Trying to stay focused while the machine is loudly buzzing and clicking at you while you’re stuffed in a tiny tube, wasn’t exactly easy.

During this, I also had expressed interest in getting a nice scan to print off later. So after the experiment was done, they happily obliged and got a full resolution scan of my brain and emailed it to me. I plan on 3d printing it later, maybe at scale but I haven’t decided yet.

We then had to leave the lab for a while, since another group had scheduled it, so I was given like an hour tour of campus nearby and we grabbed some smoothies. At this point, I was pretty open to just chat with Michael, the neuroimaging researcher about the study and other plans, including doing an AMA after the data has finished being gathered and starting to be analyzed or published.

The second experiment was purely mindvoice related, and far less stressful because it was more open ended and less constrained in general. We rocked through this one really fast, taking a lot less time than expected. Which people were happy about since apparently this particular one had just been retooled. It was still loud and took getting used to, but it worked out pretty well. At the end of it, who would have thought being in a tube for 3 hours would be tiring. I went back to the hotel, ordered some food and just crashed on the bed.

The last day, it was mostly just check out from the hotel and get ready to fly. Tanya had a couple more questions to ask, and I had nothing better to do between checking out of the hotel and my flight. I spoke with her a little bit more, then spent a little over an hour wandering the Stanford campus before I caught another Uber to the airport.

The experience was actually really pleasant. I was incredibly anxious and worried about it, probably for the same reason a lot of other people are. Worries about what will happen, what the process would be, Imposter Syndrome worries, and whatnot. But in the end, it actually was a really positive experience, and fell like it was good for both Aly and myself, since there were a bunch of things that got us a little bit closer together.

That all said, the study still has a bunch of funds left, and we’re looking for more people who’d be willing to spend 3 days in Stanford to go through it all as well. Here is the link for the new interest form, to help us screen who would be the best fit for the study.

Thanks all for reading!

In 2021, it was mentioned that the study was on pause due to COVID.

Due to COVID-19, the study came to an unceremonious halt as lockdowns started. Only recently have the facilities in Stanford opened up enough to consider continuing, but there's still a bunch of general roadblocks due to the pandemic.

Last year, a user reported participating in the study and did an AMA, meaning it had restarted by that point.

One user asked what the goal of the study was, and they responded with this:

Trying to see if there's something that shows up on brain scans. Nothing more or less. Afterwards they can compare to see if it's similar to things like DID.

I haven't heard anything on this particular study since, but the ones running it published this in February:

It's unclear to me if the above study is connected to the MRI study. Since it was mentioned that the MRI study had an interview portion, perhaps they used some of the answers from the interviews with tulpamancers for the MRI study for the above?

Either way, it shouldn't be too much longer before the results are released.

And I'm so eager to see both the conclusions, and what the next phases of research are going to be. 😊

[the-firebird69]

Under each city is a decent size uranium deposit and we ask them where they were so we can check and see what it was. Isn't the way these things are but sometimes you can see a circle. And he kind of knows where it looks like a little and it's just colored put out the desert it's real hard to see. And I will say that under each city area they put in there a little bit it's got a uranium deposit and he says they put it out there 'cause it's wasteland they may not have ticked it but this guy probably picked up on it and we're aware that these deposits are not huge or mostly 10 miles one of them is 20 miles and that's new in New York which is Fiji and your friend there DJAI mean BG plans to determine their jerks I mean you don't like the young people so you don't like them

I like blockbuster but I have a different name and it is not a marine coordinator he only knows a few names and one of them is probably not mine no I'm not Duke Nukem I work with him and you don't have to find my name.

I do know who he is he's part of the HHH and they harass the living **** out of Joel Watts let's see why now these people are up to no good in this points it out what they're doing is garnering threats though. And we do that too so I understand it but these are major threats and to negate them people have to actually do stuff and detonating a nuke on top is risky if you're near it people saying that it is true so it is a threat that might they might be using to cause these people to be **** the fire missiles close or on target on the nuclear material would sometimes is only a few miles below and our friend says the detonation would be very rare but these people might have a raid and it would look like the max because they could produce the data say it was them and say other areas have it in this how they talk to them. Now I'm understanding something you hear some of that stuff and it's not nice is a young boy. He says it's it's a much tougher thing you thought it would be.

tommy f

and it is out finally

Blockbuster

so what you nincumpoops and ok looks lk thema nd us we see

mac daddy

Olympus We do have information on it too and we do know what's going on and Thor Freya say that and Hera says to all goodnight we need to get some rest fairly soon and she's going to take a nap dude and good and she says good job everybody and we thank her.

[renuked]

Changelog - 21/06/2024

And here we have the next update! We've mostly got data stuff again, but that's because I'm gearing up for next month to be significant story-based updates! For now, here's what we got this week:

Systems

For Systems, this week, I've reorganized the structure of the GDrive. Now each section is in its own folder. So, it's a bit easier to look up exactly what you want to see. This also helps me when I want to find something specific, since I just need to folow the trail rather than try to remember where I put it.

Map

This also received an update to structure. That is to say, there is now sub-folders for various specific maps. Interior, Quest, Regional, and Settlement maps. And I have added the first new map into this structure;

Quest Maps

Added new: MQ01 - War Never Changes [Pre-War Concord]

Aid

There was some... hefty work done on this. Why did I focus so much on the Aid section? Because I started it and now I have to finish it. It will not beat me.

Aid

Added recoverable ingredients to: Antibiotics Antivenom Blood Pack RadAway Stimpak

Alcohol

Added new: Ice-Cold Nuka-Cola Dark Nuka-Cola Dark

Added recoverable ingredients to: Absinthe Atomic Cocktail Beer Bourbon Dirty Wastelander Ice-Cold Beer Ice-Cold Nuka-Cola Dark Moonshine Nuka-Cola Dark Nukashine Rum Vodka Whiskey Wine

Chem

Added recoverable ingredients to: Berry Mentats Buffout Calmex Cateye Daddy-O Day Tripper Grape Mentats Hydra Jet Med-X Mentats Overdrive Psycho Rocket Tick Blood

Ingredient

Adjusted recipes: Razorgrain Flour

Added recoverable ingredients to: Cream

Soda

Added new: Ice-Cold Nuka-Dream Nuka-Dream

Added recoverable ingredients to: Ice-Cold Nuka-Cherry Ice-Cold Nuka-Cola Ice-Cold Nuka-Dream Ice-Cold Nuka-Grape Ice-Cold Nuka-Orange Nuka-Cherry Nuka-Cola Nuka-Dream Nuka-Grape Nuka-Orange

Vegetable

Added new: Lettuce

Water

Added recipes: Black Coffee Fruit Juice (All) Purified Water Tea (All)

Added recoverable ingredients to: Dirty Water Fruit Juice (All) Purified Water Tea (All)

Cooked Food

Added new: Baked Beaver Beavertail Beggar’s Sweetbread Chew Sticks Deathclaw Wellington Fiery Ant Fricassee Frogs Legs Grilled Chicken Grilled Mirelurk Highway Special Hop Pops Longpig Jerky Nuka-Glazed Ham Possum Shanks Pound Chili Rabbit Bites Radhog Ribs Roadkill Fry Roast Stingwing Rust Slurry Stalker Stew Strange Meat Pie

Changed names: Bloatfly Loaf to; BloatLoaf Crispy Cave Cricket to; Crunchy Cave Cricket Roasted Ant to; Roast Ant

Completed: Baked Bloatfly Brahmin Steak Caravan Lunch Crunchy Cave Cricket Crispy Squirrel Bits Dog Steak Squirrel on a Stick Squirrel Stew Strange Meat Pie Trail Mix Vegetable Medley Wasteland Omelette

Added recipes: Bloodbug Steak Burrower Chunks Cat Steak Cramburger Deathclaw Steak Fowl Nuggets Fox Jerky Fried Radtoad Legs Grilled Hermitlurk Grilled Radroach Grilled Radstag Mutt Chops Opossum Bacon Rat Steak Roasted Ant Stalker Stew Sweet Roll Wolf Ribs Yao Guai Ribs

Crafting

I finally got some major progress done on the crafting area. Which is something that will receive a... pretty decent overhaul. Primarily in terms of the Workshop system, player settlements, weapon/armor modding, and item crafting. Which is pretty much all of it-

Either way, we have a slew of changes in the Crafting Data:

Added: INFO tab; Explanation for 'Rarity'. Explanation for 'Scrapping'. TABLES tab; Table for Recovery. Crafting tab; Created. Scrapping tab; Recovery value.

Updated layout: Components Casings Junk

Completed: Component Casing Junk

Character Creation

Just a minor change here, but I'll list it none-the-less.

Traits/Perks

Updated: Scrapper effect changed slightly.

Conclusion

And that brings us to the end of another changelog. Fairly simple, but decently sized. The next update will be the last of the month, plus I'll be revealing the plans for next month as well!

Until then, thanks for your time, let me know what ya' think, and I'll see ya'll next time~

[leuchtstabrebell]

Whumptober Day 21 & 23 / Prompt: See the chains around my feet & Panic

Leia is in the mess hall with Ola, Z’khari and Jeff when the video hits the holo-net.

Bonding with the other rebels took slightly longer than expected. Leia would claim that this is because there are no jokes to make about awful cafeteria food on this particular base, where the food is actually fairly decent, which robbed them of the primary form of bonding across all military bases in the galaxy.

The others would claim that her name and former status had far more to do with it. You don’t just immediately trust a former Imperial, no matter how young they are. And even though they might be on good terms now, Leia isn’t naïve enough to believe that they trust her much more now. Still, it is nice to be surrounded by people who don’t want to stab you in the back the first chance they get.

“Oh no,” Jeff says, looking down at the small data-pad in his hands. A HoloNet news channel is playing on it.

Without another word, he pushes the pad towards Ola, Z’khari and Leia, turning on the sound at the same time.

It’s a broadcast, depicting the Emperor and Vader behind him. Leia still remembers the few times they had to produce one of those, how she hated participating in Palpatine’s propaganda. It’s the first time since Luke escaped that she has seen her father.

She tries to look for any hints on his well-being, though she can’t find any. The black armor and mask are just as menacing and impersonal as always.

Absentmindly, she notices that the footage is also playing on the holo-caster on the wall of the mess hall, though muted.

But the way he is standing behind Sidious, and Leia might be reading to much into things, but she imagines that she sees him shake slightly, like she has observed so often growing up. After every torture session, after every harsh punishment, he would stand up, not utter a word but the only thing he couldn’t stop was the shaking.

To her surprise, instead of staying the menacing background decoration he ususlly is in public, Vader steps forward and starts speaking.

Leia wishes he hadn’t. She’s always hated how the helmet twisted his voice, but this time, there is something even more wrong with it, as if each word is a torturous challenge. He talks about loyalty and strength and the enemies of the Empire, and Leia knows where this is going. Two high ranking Imperials defecting does not reflect well on the Empire, and she was already wondering when Palpatine would feel the need to do something about it. Apparently, the time has come now.

Vader starts spouting the usual nonsense, about the glory of the Empire, the mighty power of their military, the duty of every citizen to support the Empire and so on. Then he pauses slightly. If he wasn’t wearing his mask, Leia imagines, his breath would have hitched.

“It is with great regret that I now announce the rebels formerly known as Luke and Leia Vader public enemies of the Empire, and declare any bond between them and me severed,” he says, in a toneless voice. “From hereforth, they shall be treated the same as any other dangerous rebel. They have forfeit all rights to their name and former titles.” He goes on speaking but Leia can’t hear what he is saying over the ringing in her ears. She only manages to catch the last thing he says, because he has switched to huttese, and she immediately knows that it wasn’t planned by the way he hesitates, by the way Palpatine tenses up. He is speaking only to them. “May you be rejected from the name Vader and cast again to the lowly name of your birth, of those who traverse the skies.” It’s not open subordination but it comes very close. Leia can feel panic rise up in her chest.

Her father has just declared Luke and Leia traitors, and disavowed them of the name Vader. A gift. A curse.

For a moment, Leia stares at the screen, uncomprehending. Her father has stepped back behind Palpatine. She thinks, he isn’t safe. She has spent the past months pushing the thoughts away but it has haunted her ever since Luke escaped. She hasn’t felt her father’s presence in her mind for over a year. What he just did was a declaration of agency, even if not understood by most. This was foolish and lovely and oh, how she misses him. But Palpatine will suspect something, even if he can’t know.

She wonders how many people have seen this already. Her three comrades are staring at her. Actually, it feels like everyone is staring at her.

Although the broadcast is over, her head can’t stop replaying the images. Her father in the spotlight, big and dark and puppet-like. Sidious behind him. Her breath is speeding up. She knows that she is panicking. She knows that it’s an irrational useless response. She still can’t stop.

“It’s alright,” Ola says. “He can’t hurt you here.”

Jeff and Z’khari nod their heads, and look concerned and Leia feels like she is going to be sick. She frantically shakes her head, and the panic combines with joy and heartache because their father has ripped Vader away from them, he declared them free, right in front of Palpatine, and her comrades can’t see it.

“I’m sorry,” Z’khari says, and again she shakes her head. There might be tears streaming down her face. The others don’t know what to do.

Then she thinks of her father now, alone, after the subordination, and the panic comes rushing back in. She doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself but they are all looking at her anyway, so what does it matter?

“He’s going to be so angry,” she gasps. Ola puts a comforting arm around her. Leia supresses the urge to shake her off. “He will be so angry,” she repeats.

“But he can’t harm you here,” Jeff chimes in from the side. She doesn’t realize that he was talking about Vader until she’s already started speaking again and can’t seem to stop herself.

“That doesn’t matter. He’ll hurt Papa for this, and this time Luke and me won’t be there to redirect his anger or to take some of the punishment or, or to do something!” She tries to keep her voice down but it’s all too much and she needs them to understand. “Palpatine has hurt him for so much less, and he isn’t getting any younger and what if he has finally outlived his usefulness?”

Three pairs of eyes stare at her. “Leia, I’m sorry but what are you talking about?” Ola asks.

“Didn’t you see?” she just asks.

“Your father has just declared that he is willing to kill you and publically disowned you and your brother,” Jeff states bluntly.

Leia stares at him.

“What,” she finally says. “No? I mean technically—”

“Technically?!” Jeff echoes. “With all due respect but Vader was very clear about that.”

Ola has become very silent, is watching Leia with furrowed brow.

“Explain it to us,” she says.

“We no longer must carry the name Vader,” Leia states, slowly. She doesn’t know what there is to explain about this.

“And he spoke in Huttese.”

“So?” Jeff asks.

Leia wants to growl in frustration. She doesn’t want to waste time explaining the obvious when all she wants is to rush back to her Father and help him kill Palpatine.

She breathes in deeply. She wishes desperately that Luke was by her side.

“We are completely free now, even in name. But my father isn’t yet, which means he is in danger,” she explains.

“From… the emperor?” Ola asks.

“Obviously?” Leia responds.

“But… he is like this frail, old man… And Vader is a two-meter tall killing machine. No offense,” Jeff says.

Leia can’t help herself, she starts chuckling. Maxbe it is the panic and andrenaline still rushing through her.

“Forget it,” she says. “You won’t believe me anyway.”

But Ola looks at her earnestly and says: “Try us.”

[leam1983]

Time Theft

It's probably a bit of an unusual posture and something that's reflective of my very much Leftist background, but the professional throuple I'm a part of is now fairly well-known for its lax posture regarding the concept of time theft, at the office.

I'll explain: when you work something that's as soul-rending as a CSI desk or a set of promotional lists to whittle down, you'll be paid to effectively get dismissed, yelled at, mocked or insulted repeatedly. That grinds down on anyone, over time. That, in turn, makes focus a bit of a difficult thing to keep up over eight or more hours in a given shift.

Considering, we've decided not to monitor our Call Centre agents' use of our Internet connection and to, perhaps naively, operate out of good faith that people are going to do their time with us - within reason. I'm totally fine with someone taking a few minutes to browse the news or to use our connection to reliably access a personal financial portal, like their bank, in the understanding that most "budget" data plans tend to be a little flaky, in terms of bitrate. Some things, like paying the occasional phone bill, are just more comfortable to take care of on a decent connection.

Needless to say, it's surprising some of the transfers from the Old Place, that had the usual draconian rules in place regarding time theft. In comparison, you might as well say we've elected to claim that there's no such thing as "stealing" time from us.

If you work with me, I'll pay you in return. You're the one who's elected to give of their time in exchange for money, so no-one's time is actually being stolen. If your business depends on productivity targets to such an extent that you're willing to punish people at the bottom of your organization's rungs for being human, something's very clearly wrong. Not that we won't act in case of egregious excesses, though - it's just that our definition of "excess" involves the idea of having a massively skewed ratio of time spent on the clock versus the number of contacts made - and I do mean massively. I'm totally fine if one of our slowpoke hires only makes ten calls an hour if these ten calls are professional.

The execs at the Old Place are claiming we're hanging on thanks to our luxury dealership contacts, but I'll take this over the usual desperate rigamarole where a bloated and heaving mid-range automotive sector acts like a fattened potentate because it deigns to offer meagre bonuses to the average customer.

[papercatlitter]

Things to Know About Paper Pellet Cat Littter

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[dear-ao3]

the saga of saphs terrible, horrible internet

so my friends and fellow romans, as some of you may know, i am currently at home while i wait to go galavant off to the other side of the globe for my study abroad. being at home presents a great many challenges that i will not get into at this time, but the top one is the internet connection.

now i am the proud owner of a 2017 macbook and an iphone se. the macbook was bought refurbished 3.5 years ago and the phone was bought new last august when my iphone 6s finally crapped out 2 weeks into junior year of college. i take....decent care of my electronics. and, this is an important detail here, the phone has an unlimited data plan.

i have never had a problem with this phone. it works great, occasionally it buffers in certain spots on campus that are kind of dead zones due to the buildings being massive blocks of concrete, but it always works, even despite the shitty school wifi i have because i can turn the wifi off and use data. the computer hates the wifi a little more, but i can still usually get it to work with minimal issues.

until now *cue dramatic music*

i have to be at home (my parents house) for a grand total of 18 days. which is not very long. and while at home i had some stuff to do, all of which required me to have an internet connection (fighting the financial aid office, talking to brad, researching grad school, purchasing textbooks, buying the last couple things i need for my trip, etc). i have also had to be in quarantine (long story) so essentially i have been confined to my room.

the internet has always been a little bit meh in my room, with certain spots not working the best (due to the fact that i am furthest from the router) but this is the same room that i took zoom classes from for 2.5 semesters, plus a summer class and a j term class with 0 issues, so i was confident i could make it work.

well. i was wrong.

the first two days went fairly normally. but then, a steady and rapid decrease in internet quality began.

and yes, i am aware that me complaining about internet quality is a very first world problem, but i am stuck in a house with my parents and it is miserable and i just want to facetime brad.

on day three i became unable to send a text message unless i was connected to wifi.

on day 4 i could only connect to wifi if i was standing in one specific spot in my bedroom and even then it didnt always work and would usually drop off by the time i walked back across the room

on day 5 facetime stopped working

on day 6 even standing directly next to the router didnt do anything and plugging into our sole ethernet cable only provided me with mediocre internet

on day 7 i had a mental breakdown and watched youtube all day at 144p complete with buffering that added a good 10-20 minutes to any video.

on day 8 i told my dad that in my deeply unprofessional opinion something is deeply wrong with our router and he said well its just cause your room is far away from it

on day 9 (today) i walked downstairs to get my up of tea in my big christmas tree mug and my dad said "our internet is being very slow, i am going to have to look into it"

oh

wait

you mean

to tell me

that the internet

isnt working?

golly goodness gosh

i didnt know

its not like it took 3 minutes for the blank post im writing right now to load and 30 minutes for a 10 minute youtube video to load and that i get kicked off the wifi if i so much as tilt my phone slightly to the left

its a miracle i havent gone insane yet i swear

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Okay, but lets say i want to catch my sluty mla commander with my love web. All I have is my wits, fairly decent looks (nothing too fancy) some random geek data and my complete incapacity to be sexy on purpose (not a flirting bone in this body and not a big fan of casual sex because dunno how). What do i do?!

Original post

Brutally honest answer? It’s going to take a lot of work.

Here's the thing: slutty PLF Shig is not thinking about love. He's a man busy with taking down hero society, and pounding tight little holes night after night is just his way of having a good time; he's basically committed to working out his stress at the same rate good old Re-Destro is storing his up, and he has a lot more fun doing than it old baldy does with hoarding his, that's for sure.

He’s also not about wooing or being woo’d—there’s no thrill of the chase for him, and if you think playing hard to get will make you stand out from those lining up for their turn in his bed, you’re sorely mistaken. He really is in this for the easy attention and the instant gratification—it’s probably the one area of life where he  doesn’t want a challenge.

So unfortunately, if you're not there to put out and you’re not one of his people—and by his people I mean the League, as opposed to one of those MLA holdovers he doesn't actually care about—then the sad truth is that he's probably not going to pay much attention to you, at least at first.

All this is to say that you’re going to have to play the long game, and you’re going to have to be subtle. Shigaraki might be willing to tolerate the MLA members’ sycophantic tendencies if it’s getting him laid, but outside of that context it’s not going to earn you anything but derision. And unfortunately, he’s already starting with a pretty low opinion of most of the MLA, so even earnest efforts to strike up a conversation, or to catch his attention through producing good work, are going to be met with indifference at best and suspicion or scorn at worst. Instead, you’re going to have to find a way to earn his attention in a way that lets him think noticing you was his idea.

The easiest way to do that is probably to set your sights on befriending some of the other League members first. Yes, it’s a little shamelessly instrumental, but it never hurts to make more friends anyway, right? Toga or Jin are definitely the safest bets for getting an in with the main group, but in this case it’s Spinner that you’re going to want to forge a connection with, because we see time and time again that he has the most in common with Shigaraki, at least as far as things outside the real of annihilating hero society go.

This is where that geek data will come in handy. Spinner is, obviously, a huge nerd. If you can bond with him a little over video games there’s a good chance this is eventually going to create your opening with Shigaraki. (Just make sure you don’t lead our sweet gecko boy on in the process; he doesn’t deserve that.) Maybe Spinner will invite you along when he and Shigaraki have plans to play Super Smash Bros., because a third player never hurt, right? Or maybe Spinner with look to Shigaraki to defend him during some heated debate over differing opinions on something or another. (You’ll get major bonus points here if it turns out that Shigaraki actually agrees with you.)

It’s only once you’ve finally managed to get some kind of casual friendship going with Shigaraki that you’ll want to step it up a notch. You don’t necessarily have to be an expert flirt—I actually think keeping it subtle would be better, because again you want him to think that moving towards anything romantic/sexual was his idea—but you do need to plant the seed in his mind. Getting him looking at your body is one way to do that; again, you don’t want to overdo it, but tight pants or a low-cut shirt are an easy way to make him notice the assets. You could also consider casually moving the conversation towards otome games/eroges just to plant the image in his mind, if you know what I mean.

From there, Shigaraki’s probably going to do the rest of the work. It might take him a hot minute to realize that he has some little crush forming, but it’ll happen—he’ll find himself in bed with one of those easy conquests wondering what it might be like if it was you he was fucking, or he’ll go down to the bar and find himself irritated by the inanity of the three minutes of small talk he shares with these people before they whisk him off to fuck, because they’re just not as interesting as you. And eventually, he’s going to realize that he’d rather be off somewhere playing games with you sleeping with any of those people. He might be irritated by that realization at first, but Shigaraki’s also smart and persistent; it won’t take him long to realize the solution to those newfound frustrations is to level up his relationship with you.

[enigmainvestigations]

**The events of this mini-episode take place after the events in Season 1, episode 12. AO3 post: ???    Series link: ???

Season 1 Mini-Episode - The Most Dangerous Enemy

The bats above him screeched as he exited the Batmobile. The engine’s rumbling always agitated them, but by the time he’d climbed the steps up to the large computer tucked into one of the cave crevices, the bats had started to quiet down. Batman entered his personal code on the keyboard and pressed his hand into the handprint identification reader next to it. The computer turned on with a lazy hum, and the area was flooded with the red light emitting from the multiple screens as they flickered on.

After a few agonizing minutes, a message popped up on one of the screens. Batman leaned forward on the computer console and pressed the authorization key to download the file. Oracle had finished her search of the city records -- lightning fast, as usual. After a few more impatient moments, the files popped up on the screen and he typed in the code for the computer to begin analysing the information. He scowled as he saw the results of her investigation; with this amount of data, it was going to take a lengthy amount of time for the interface to complete the search. It seemed he was in for a long night, again.

In the distance he heard a motorcycle approaching, followed by the sound of the south entrance’s door rising out of the water. The bats stirred once more, and by the time the bike had pulled up to its platform, they were in full upset. The sound of footsteps filled the cave behind him, followed by a drawn-out yawn from his partner. Then Robin appeared beside him, and the teenager’s attention immediately fell on the screen before him, scanning the information.

“Wow. That was fast.” Robin said.

“She’s good at what she does.” Batman responded, continuing to watch the slow progress of the analysis.

“Good? I thought you said she’s the best?”

“She is.”

Robin smirked. “Any more information on Two-Face?”

“He went off the grid again.”

“We really need to figure out how he’s doing that.” Robin said, stretching.

“He’s avoiding any of his previous connections. It just makes it more difficult to follow him, but not impossible.”

“I don’t blame him, but he’s not just avoiding his friends. He keeps vanishing. He’s figured out some way to disappear right under our noses.”

“As long as we get to his next target before he does he won’t have time to vanish.”

“If you say so.” Robin rested his staff against the side of the computer. “Has he let anything slip about why he’s targeting the locations?”

“No. But the computer will find the connection.”

“You still think he’s doing all of this because he was locked up during the attacks?”

Batman didn’t look at his partner, but the muscles in his neck clenched. “Yes.”

“All of this chaos, just because he feels emasculated,” Robin said in a huff.

“It’s more complicated than that, Robin.”

“Doesn’t sound like it is.”

At that, Batman decided to drop the conversation. Robin was right: it was a childish and emotional reaction, but those are some of the most dangerous ones. And with all the damage he was causing, it sounded wrong to trivialize Dent’s motives, and the subject had started to make him uncomfortable. Robin took the hint and wandered off for a time, eventually returning with a large glass of water -- which he downed half of right away.

Batman eyed him briefly, then resumed his impatient glare at the screens. “You’re back early again.” Robin grumbled in response and finished the rest of his water. Batman decided to continue with his assumptions. “Nigma kicked you out again, didn’t he.”

“Actually, no. I had a normal departure this evening.”

“Why did you call Batgirl to his apartment?”

Robin paused. “We’ll have to talk about that in a minute. I’m currently waiting for an update from her.”

“I thought you were calling for back-up.”

“No, no, it’s not that. Nigma hasn’t escalated to throwing fists or anything foolish like that. He was… actually pretty decent tonight. Bizarre, but decent.”

Batman watched as the computer began segmenting some of the data to one of the other screens, and he leaned forward to give it a brief read. “Bizarre?”

“Yeah. I’ll explain it all to you in a minute.” Noticing Batman’s brief look of impatience, Robin said, “I’m just testing a theory. I’d like to have that answered before I delve into all of this.”

“After what happened the last time, I’m surprised you went back.” Batman admitted.

Robin ruffled his wind-beaten hair. “Not going to lie, that thought did enter my mind. But, hopefully, a dramatic scene like that won’t happen again.”

“Why is that?” Batman asked, reading over more of the segments the computer found in the documents. It looked like his theory that Dent was targeting his previous associates was holding true, and if it was, it shouldn’t be too difficult to predict his next hit.

“I set up some boundaries with him.” Robin said in another yawn.

Batman paused. He pushed himself off of the computer console and stared directly at his partner. Robin looked startled by the attention, confusion clear on his face. “What?” he asked, but Batman just continued with his unnerving stare.

“What?” Robin asked again. “You're looking at me like I said something stupid.”

“You… set up boundaries, with Nigma?” Batman tried to clarify.

“Yes.”

Batman frowned. “What kind of boundaries? Personal boundaries?”

“Yes.” Robin drew out the word as he said it, and Batman returned to his silent stare. His partner let out a huff in confusion, “Why, what? Stop looking at me like that, you're freaking me out.”

“What were these boundaries?”

“Just -- normal human boundaries.” Robin could tell that answer just upset his partner more and elaborated. “I told him to stop taking out his frustrations on me. That I wasn’t going to put up with that anymore. I explained it in a way I think he understood, that it was stalling the investigation and it’s a complete waste of time. He seemed to understand.”

“And Nigma agreed to adhere to your boundaries?”

“Yeah.” Robin answered, and as Batman returned to staring, the boy hissed. “Stop looking at me like that, you're making me think I made some sort of mistake.”

“No, Robin. That's not it -- it's... continue.”

Robin gave an animated shrug. “There isn't much else to add.”

Batman’s frown deepened. “You're telling me, you set up an expectation to be treated fairly by Nigma and he agreed to your terms? And that was it?”

Robin made a slight grimace. “Well, that sounds nicer than what actually happened. He was still a huge jerk about it.”

“What did he say?”

“He made the insinuation that I was expecting him to cater to my every whim, y’know, instead of just treating me like a person. I asked him to stop being so dramatic about it, and -- he did look angry about that -- but, he agreed, and then he wanted to change the subject. That’s about it.”

Batman began the stare again, but his partner hurried to set down his empty glass as Batgirl’s voice came through on their earpieces saying: “B2 to R.”

“Go ahead, Steph.” Robin replied.

“Well, he didn’t stay inside.” Batgirl reported, triggering a grunt from Robin as she spoke. “But all he did was go down to the bar next door. Then he went back inside his office. But, now we have another problem.”

“Great, what now?” Robin asked.

“Harley showed up. She went up to his place, but they’re not screaming at each other like last time. And,” Batgirl stressed that word, “there’s a car parked across from his building now.”

Batman looked at Robin, who gritted his teeth. “Great. Are they just watching him? They’re probably looking out for you, so stay out of sight.”

“No worries there, Boy Wonder. They haven’t seen me, and they look kinda spooked. I think they’d be more scared to see me up here, think they’d just run off.”

“Don’t chance it.” Robin said, and Batgirl sighed.

“Stop pestering me, I’m not so green anymore.”

“Stay out of sight, Batgirl.” Batman cut in, and the two adolescents went quiet.

“Will do. I’ll keep you posted on any developments.” Batgirl responded, before the line went silent once more.

Batman turned to face Robin, now giving him his full attention, only barely registering the computer’s blips as it continued its analysis.

“Bizarre.” Batman said.

Robin blinked. “What?”

“You said he was acting bizarre.”

“Oh.” Robin gave a brief nod. “Yeah, but, like I said, I kind of get why.” His partner took a deep breath and leaned against the computer stand, signaling this was going to be a long discussion. “Remember how Nigma went nuts on me the last time?” Seeing Batman’s confirming nod, he continued. “Apparently I was right. He was scared, and really rattled. Echo and Query are back in town.”

“I heard.”

Robin frowned at that. “Well, did you know that they’re working for Penguin?”

Batman’s white eyes narrowed into thin slits upon hearing that information. “No.”

“Yeah. And, he’s posted them outside of Nigma’s place.” The two of them exchanged a serious look before Robin spoke again. “Nigma told me that Penguin has been threatening him. Not verbally, as far as I can tell, but he’s been showing signs of it. He’s had men following him around the city, watching his every move. So, I don’t know what the hell that meeting at the Iceberg Lounge was all about, but it’s starting to look like the others are turning on him, Batman. I think we might be wrong, I don’t think they’re working together.” Robin crossed his arms, giving Batman a firm look. “He was scared, Bruce. That night, he looked terrified. I’m starting to think that if all of this ‘private investigator’ stuff is some Riddler plan, the others aren’t in on it.”

Batman slowly let out a breath through his nose. “If Oswald is targeting him then that means he knows something Oswald doesn’t want spoken about.” Batman’s gaze wandered around the cave as he thought. “Has Penguin tried to take him out, or is he just threatening?”

“Well…” Robin began, but then he paused for a moment. “This is when things get bizarre.”

Batman gave his partner an expectant look. “Go on.”

“Nigma kinda had a meltdown, at least, that’s the best way I can describe it. He let some of that wall of his drop, and he told me a lot of things that I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have under any normal circumstances.” Seeing the immediate attention Batman gave him, Robin smirked. “He said that Penguin keeps tightening the grip, so to speak. That he keeps turning up the heat but not acting on the threats. Which Nigma determined means that he doesn’t actually want Nigma dead, he’s trying to intimidate him.”

“Why?”

“He said he doesn’t know why, and I think I believe him about that. He was -- Bruce, he was completely out of his mind trying to figure it out. You should’ve seen him, talking a thousand miles a hour, talking with his hands and rambling.”

Batman pondered that information for a moment. “I can see how you’d think he was being honest. Edward has always preferred to have all the answers, that’s most likely part of Oswald’s plan.”

“Exactly.” Robin went silent, thinking over what else he needed to say. When he spoke again, he himself sounded rather bemused. “There’s another thing, well, two other things. I’m sure you’re still wondering why I called Batgirl, the thing is… Nigma told Query and Echo he’s working with us -- screamed it at them, to be more specific.” Batman’s eyes widened at that information, and Robin could see the apprehension in his expression. “Yeah. So, now the Penguin knows about this little test of yours.”

“Why?” Batman wondered. “Why did he do that?”

“That goes into the other subject, the one that makes me think it's possible he’s being truthful. He told me that he had no idea why he told them, that it just came out and he didn’t have a reason. But, that he knew somewhere in his brain there was a reason.” Seeing the look on Batman’s face, Robin chuckled. “I know the feeling, trust me. That’s really when the meltdown happened. He said that he’s been having a really tough few months, he said something about his mind attacking him all the time. That his doctor told him to be more truthful, to be honest with other people.” Robin pushed himself off of the computer stand and uncrossed his arms. “He said that he’s tried it in the past and he does feel better, so that was the solution he jumped to when he was put in such a tough spot. At least, that’s what I got from all of that rambling.”

Batman remained silent for a time, finding it difficult to believe most of that information, but his partner was right, it made sense. “He’s listening to his doctor.”

“He’s talking to his doctor.”

Batman turned away from Robin, and his gaze wandered over the cave again. He watched the water drops from the stalactites above drip onto the platform before him, listened to the humming of the computer, as he processed this new information against his theories. “This doesn’t make sense,” he muttered.

“Unless he’s actually trying to get help with something. He didn’t explain it very well, but I think he’s having flashbacks. At least, that’s what it sounded like -- kind of.”

“Nigma would know what flashbacks are.”

“True, but it is Nigma. He thinks everything he experiences is unique and one of a kind. He might not be able to see it for what it is.”

“No. I’m not buying that.” Batman’s frown deepened again. “He said his mind is attacking him?”

“Yep.”

“He used those exact words?”

“He said: My brain is usually my best friend, but now it's attacking me non-stop.” Robin let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not saying I believe everything he said, but, if this was an attempt to manipulate me, it was a very poorly orchestrated one. Most of what he said didn’t make sense,” he paused for a moment, “but, it sounded like he wasn’t talking to me.”

“He was talking to himself, just through you.” Batman added, and Robin nodded.

“Which is exactly what you said he does to you all the time. That’s why I believe it, I don’t think he was trying to convince me, he was trying to figure it out for himself.”

Batman went silent again, his gaze wandering off to look at nothing in particular. “Or he could just want you to come to that conclusion. He’s got to be up to something.”

“Well, when you figure out what it is let me know, because I can’t figure it out.” Robin was about to walk away from him, but a swift look from his partner stalled him.

“You’ve seen nothing? Heard nothing out of the ordinary while in his apartment?”

“No. I’ve told you everything, every single thing from every time I’ve seen him.”

“He has to be hiding the evidence.” Batman said, and his gaze wandered off once again.

“If he is, he’s doing a damn good job of it. That office is so small and pretty bare, and I told you, I haven’t seen any evidence that he’s hiding things in the walls or the floor. He also doesn’t really go anywhere, so I find it hard to believe he’s concocting this whole plan of his at another location.”

Batman looked back at his partner, a scowl forming on his face. “Nigma is very good at making things look a certain way to throw you off the trail. He’s good at hiding in plain sight, at using your preconceptions against you.”

Robin stared at Batman, pressing his lips together as he thought. “I get that, I do. I’m not saying I don’t think he’s planning something. All I’m saying is that I think it’s a possibility that we were wrong. All that means is that we need to start looking at it differently, maybe from a perspective we haven’t before.” He paused, taking a few deep breaths through his nose. “Bruce, he can be trying to work through something with his doctor, and planning something at the same time. It’s possible. We have no idea what happened to him on that island. He might just need some help dealing with it.”

“The idea of Nigma going to anyone for help --” Batman stopped himself; the words he was about to say felt wrong, and he forced himself to rethink his position. “Nigma thinks he has all the answers. He doesn’t feel the need to go to anyone else because they couldn’t tell him anything he doesn’t already know. That’s how he sees the world.”

“I know, that’s what you’ve always said. But, again, maybe it’s possible things have changed for him, and he’s run out of options to work on them, at least on his own?” Robin pondered out loud.

Batman’s scowl intensified. Robin wasn’t understanding the full scope of this; he needed to explain the gravity of this troubling situation. “Him going to someone for help is potentially very dangerous.”

Robin blinked. “Uh, okay? Explain that one, please.”

Batman’s back straightened, his expression turning more serious as he chose his words carefully. “If Nigma has decided to turn to a professional for help, it could mean he’s become more self-aware. It means that he’s learning, and Nigma learning new information is never a safe prospect.” Batman glanced back at the computer screen; the search of the last few files were almost complete. “I might’ve been wrong. He might have changed his tactics.”

Robin stepped closer to his side, and Batman could feel the anxiousness seeping off of him. “Mind explaining that a bit better?”

Batman returned his attention to his partner -- the boy’s expression was one of concern, but mixed with a layer of distrust. He understood why. He must sound too pessimistic in his worries, but this was a situation he’d feared would occur for a long time now, and he needed Robin to understand his reasoning. Batman looked Robin in the eye, hoping for his partner to grasp the truth behind his words. “If Nigma is breaking down his own walls and learning what his weaknesses are, it’ll make him very difficult to stop. I’ve always used the same strategy with him: exploit his vulnerabilities. No matter how much he tried to adapt to my solutions, he could never fully match up with them -- because the issue wasn’t me, it was him. He was so self-centered, so convinced he was superior that he couldn’t see the obvious holes in his logic. If he’s realized that he does have weaknesses, that his own issues are what’s been holding him back all this time, and he’s actively trying to rid himself of them --”

“Then…” Robin interjected, his expression more concerned now. “Are you saying you don’t think you’d be able to stop him?”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

The two crime-fighters stared at each other. Robin looked surprised by the admission, but his demeanor shifted after a few moments. Batman frowned, knowing that look all too well. The boy thought he was being too dramatic and he was skeptical of the rationale.

The computer blipped beside them. It had finished its analysis, and Batman turned his attention back to the screens. Three locations popped up, one of which was a clear possibility for Dent’s next attack. Robin picked his staff back up, giving Batman an expectant look, and Batman gave him a confirming nod in agreement. As the two began to descend the stairs to the Batmobile, Batman felt an anxiousness seep into his bones. The fear of what Nigma was up to gripped him, and he hoped he would be able to rid it to focus on the current case at hand.

Robin hopped into the passenger seat, the skepticism still clear on his face. He turned on some of the trackers on the car’s console and said, “I don’t know. I know you know him better than I do, but, all of that seems way too calculated for what he’s currently doing.”

Batman climbed into the car, a low growl of disagreement escaping his lips.

“I’m serious, Batman. If he was using his doctor to make him into some unbeatable super-criminal, I doubt he’d be starving and killing his brain with alcohol.”

Batman frowned as the car’s engine revved and the bats began to shriek. “I’ll admit, I can't explain the drinking.”

Robin looked at him, his brow rising. “Really. In all your years working with criminals you've never seen someone deal with problems by hiding at the bottom of a bottle? And it'd make sense, actually, if what he's saying about the flashbacks is true…”

But Batman really didn’t want to hear anymore of Robin’s theories about the evidence. He closed the hood of the Batmobile, revved the engine to signify the end of the discussion, and as his partner readied himself in his seat, he sped off toward the cave exit. As they neared the hidden passage door, Batman decided he was more than willing to see whatever distractions Two-Face could provide for the evening. Hopefully it would be enough to get his mind off of that disturbing hint of a notion that maybe, just maybe, Robin was actually onto something.