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#I have fans!!!!!!!! Who comment on my work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who cheer me on and leave kudos and draw me fan art and everything
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I so badly had to swallow my tongue the other day because I told a roommate that I write fanfiction for The Walking Dead, and he was pleasantly surprised
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theangrypomeranian · 11 months
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a note for my lovely fans:
i know i've said this before, but i really and truly never thought that Baby Steps would ever get as long or well known as it is. i've poured my heart and soul into this fic for over a year and it has meant everything to me. through this story, i have started to heal my inner child/teen and a little of older me as well. i love this story so much and saying good bye is so so painful, but also so cathartic.
i want to thank a few people here. first and foremost, @littleredruns. without this story, i never would have met her and now i can't imagine my life without her. Red, you have been such a huge support and help to me through this whole process. the whole fake dating arc exists because of you lol. i know you say that i don't need to thank you, but i am because without you i don't think i would have kept writing. you are my best friend and i hope it stays that way for a long, long time (if not forever). <3
i also want to thank my husband, @raccnarok. thank you, myla. you've spent the last year listening to me talk and rant about this. you've tolerated me kicking you out of the bedroom so that i could focus on writing because you know that i like writing in my bed the most. you've supported me and cheered me on, and told me over and over how proud you are of me. loving you is easy as breathing and twice as satisfying, and through this whole process you've proved it. thank you. <3
to all the friends i've made through this fic, the whole who i've shared sneak peaks with and let me go on and on about it. i'm so grateful that my story has brought us together and that you all have been as kind and supportive as you've been. thank you. <3
to the people who have been inspired by my fic and drawn art of it and written fic of it/inspired by it. i cannot express how much all of it has warmed my heart and made me giggle and shriek like a schoolgirl. i hope i can continue to inspire you with my other works, and if not then i'm happy that i did at all. thank you for being amazing. <3
and to my readers. all of you who leave kudos and comments and read and reread this story that i thought would fall to the wayside. you all mean the whole world to me and i don't say that lightly. we've built such an amazing community here of empathetic and loving people. and to my fellow survivors of abuse, of all kinds, who have found solace in this fic: i see you. i hear you. and i believe you. i hope you are able to find peace and healing, and i'm happy that my fic has gotten to be a part of that process. you're amazing and i never want you to forget that. it's okay if you backtrack, it's okay if you have bad days. remember, healing is not linear. it's a process. and sometimes we have to take baby steps.
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thana-topsy · 1 year
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4, 7, 20 for the ask game!
4. Link to a great meta you’ve read
Something that really stuck with me, and greatly influenced my approach to Halfway to the Sky was a pretty comprehensive r/teslore post by u/Gleaming_Veil called "Reassessing the Falmer- Degeneration or adaptation?" This, alongside a comment they'd made on an unrelated post, really set me down the path of thinking critically about what we're told to believe in the game, vs the context of what we're actually seeing.
Gameplay tells us to kill the Falmer because they are enemies. People in the world tell us that the Falmer are devolved, wretched creatures who have "lesser" souls.
But, soul theory aside, we are shown lots of contradicting evidence based on the fact that the Falmer live in tribal societies, which implies a lot of complexity of thought. They practice animal husbandry, which no "animal" is known to do. And above all else, and they are magic users, a skill which (historically and mechanically in the game) requires Intelligence to be able to perform.
So.... yeah.
7. A popular fandom opinion that you agree with
Alduin would probably make a very sexy dude and, yes.
20. Give kudos to someone who is a devoted fan (either of your own works or others’)
This one's gotta be a shoutout to @kookaburra1701 who is an endless cheerleader, absolutely blasted through so many of my fics, and leaves AMAZING comments, often on every single chapter. Just... wrow. Overwhelming amounts of love. And her own relentless enthusiasm and inspiration is infectious. So cheers to you, my friend. You are the standard to which I hold myself.
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meltingpenguins · 1 year
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I actually enjoyed the first season of good omens a decent amount and I had a period of time where I got back deep into fic for it, but the second season nearly completely sucked away any joy and excitement I had for the characters and the fandom. Unexpectedly, I no longer want to interact with any of it, which was the complete opposite of what I thought would happen given a second season
Same, pretty much.
Now, With Season 1 it aged like milk to me. Initially I was very much on board, there were good ideas, the cast was nifty, i even cheered for some of the eastereggs. But I'm a good old fashioned overthinker, and here's the thing:
Good Omens the book will forever hold a special place in my heart. It's what got me into writing ultimately (Discworld already got me back into reading, but GO struck that secret chord), and as I am working on two text-game and a novel right now (something I wouldn't even have dreamed of 15 years ago) I'd say it's done a good job.
I'm someone who loves to analyse stories, and Good Omens the book is one of those stories that is so incredibly smart, witty and well-constructed that it is a joy to read and re-read and re-re-read and so forth. I'd say Book Omens is one of the very few stories that has no plotholes or continuity hiccups. There is a 'Schrödinger's Plothole' aka one that depends on what you headcanon-ing happening (I can explain what I mean by that if people are curious), but that's it. Every other 'hold on' moment can be filled in with a variety of solid explanations stemming from what we are given about the world and the characters. Even why the fuel-needle has been pointing to zero since Crowley got the Bentley, even though Crowley did *buy* petrol at some point (flash bastard prolly drank it, I'd not be surprised)
The show, however, is riddled with plotholes and fridgelogic through and through, topped with quite a bit of pretentiousness and something that feels like taking the piss out of book fans and pretending it's 'loving shout outs' (no, it's not). I'll give examples for this if someone asks as well.
And s2 only got worse. It feels as if in s1 the book's plot was desperately pushing bad against some really atrocious writing, directing decisions and budget management. In s2 there was nothing to push back against it. Now, given this is still amzen we are talking about, this might be in (large) part due to their bullshit (budget cuts, shooting demands, no proper rewrites, crunch, basically all the 'fun' stuff the WGA is/was striking against).
S2 had potential and ideas, but it doesn't feel any of those were used. And to make it worse, there's already some really sour-tasting mentalities being pushed in both seasons, mentalities and world-views that weren't there in the book.
All in all, said it before, saying it again, the BEST thing for the story, the show and the fandom would be
NO s3, Neil just writes up a short story on how s3 in the amzen-verse would have gone and uploads it for free. And then either looks for a different studio, crew, cast and scriptwriter to try adapting the book again and THEN adapting Neighbour of the Beast.
or
2. S3 ditches the whole 'second coming' route and instead pushes the reset-button, declaring s1 and 2 nothing but a dream (with a proper in-universe explanation) and go through the fallout of that, fleshing out the characters proper and balancing them again.
Trying to go through with s3 on it's current wobbly, crumbling base won't work. Oh sure, there'll be drama, drama drama, and in the end crowley and az move to a cottage in the south downs, but it will again be nothing but amateurish fan-service. And for that you don't need to pay for the show. You are better off leaving kudos and comments on your fav fics, and see if the aithor has fanwork unrelated venues you can support them by financially.
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elizabeethan · 3 years
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Spaces Between Us Chapter 13: You & I
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The hardships of real life separated them six years ago, and Emma has been struggling to put that fact behind her ever since. But then, only after she’s convinced herself that she’s moved on and that her new life is enough, Killian Jones comes back.
A Captain Swan Modern AU
Complete
As my grandma used to say,"theyah." (she meant "there" and she would brush her hands together, but she had a very heavy a Maine accent) 
Thank you to everyone who read this, and to everyone who commented, left kudos, liked it, reblogged it, sent flails.... you're the best!!
Thank you, as usual, to my beta and friend @the-darkdragonfly​, and to @donteattheappleshook​ and @xhookswenchx​ for listening to my ramblings and helping me figure out the plot to this <3
Read the Rest
Read on Ao3
Read my Other Stuff
~~~~
His warm fingers tickle her awake, dancing delicately over the skin of her waist and making her giggle before she hisses at the bright sunlight stinging her eyes. “It’s too early for all that.” 
 “No it isn’t,” he argues, kissing a hot trail down her neck until his lips reach her breast. She swears she was wearing a shirt when she went to bed… “We’ve got to get up soon anyway.” 
 “Then why are you initiating what you're initiating?” 
 “I can be quick.” 
 She snorts, reaching her fingers into his thick hair and letting out an appreciative sound as he flicks his tongue over her nipple. “I’m sure you can.” 
 “Let me do my work in peace, please,” he chastises playfully as he drags his mouth down her stomach, tucking his fingers into the hem of her underwear and tugging them down her thighs. 
 “If you insist,” she sighs, letting her head fall back against the pillow and grounding herself as she scratches her fingers against his scalp. 
He certainly does take his work seriously, succeeding in his promise to be quick and getting her ready for him in just a matter of minutes. She pulls on his hair a bit harder and he lifts his head, looking up at her with shiny lips and a glint in his eyes before he wipes his chin and crawls up her body slowly, peppering kisses along the way. “Already?” he asks when he reaches her ear, and she giggles. 
 “You promised to be quick, I thought you’d be pleased to know that you delivered.” 
 “Oh, I’m very pleased. If there’s one thing parenthood has taught me, it's how to get my lady love off in a jiffy.” 
 “Shut up,” she laughs, though the sound is cut off quickly when he plunges himself into her, nearly to the hilt before he pulls back out and slides in again, slowly this time. She groans in appreciation for the way he stretches her, hitting everywhere just right as he sets a steady pace. 
 “I love you,” he whispers against the shell of her ear, tracing his tongue over the sensitive skin just below. “So much.”
 “I love you, too,” she whispers back breathlessly, then with a moan, “don’t stop.” 
 “You like it like this?” he asks, biting her skin and pushing into her at just the right angle. 
 She whimpers and nods, her nails clawing at his back. She’s so close already, his mouth bringing her halfway there before they’d even started, and when he reaches his fingers between them where she needs him the most, she cries out again. 
 “There,” she begs, her legs shaking as she holds him in place. “Oh, fuck, right there.” 
 When he whispers, “come for me,” with his tone commanding and gentle, there's little she can do but obey him. 
 He’s heavy on top of her, her chest heaving beneath him, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loves being here with him more than just about anything. The way he kisses her cheek over and over while they catch their breath makes her heart flutter more. 
 “You don’t actually have to go, right?” she asks jokingly as she runs her fingers up and down his back. “You’re actually just going to work? Won’t Will be mad if you miss a day, Mr. Mechanic?”
 With a laugh and another kiss to her cheek at the charming nickname she gave him when his friend hired him to work in his garage, he answers, “I bloody well better go. I promised Ruby I’d be there and I certainly don't want to be on her bad side.” She giggles, though he continues, “and I want to watch that bastard get exactly what he deserves.” 
 She nods, letting out a long, steady breath. Walsh’s trial is today, and while Killian isn’t allowed to testify because of his relationship with the victim-- her-- Ruby has a lot to say about that evening. At first, there was talk of Killian being unfit to serve and having made irresponsible choices because of his emotional connection with Emma. But after Ruby’s accounts of that night and the body camera footage, it was clear that he acted as appropriately as he ever has. Walsh shot first, and the sheriff responded using non-lethal force. And besides, Killian left the force on his own accord, anyway. 
 At first, she was almost angry that he’d lived. Part of her wanted the surgeons to let him die; another part of her wanted Killian to have taken a better shot. But he was shot himself, so the fact that he got him in the shoulder was pretty damn good. Plus, Walsh will never be able to fully use his arm again. 
 And… he’s probably going to jail for a long time. Which would be cool, considering the amount of times he’s been beaten up already.
 “There’s too much going on in there,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” 
 With a shrug, she says, “just thinking about what happened. It’s been a long eight months.” 
 He hums. “Aye, it has. Hasn’t been so bad, though.” 
 “No,” she agrees softly. “But I’ll be glad when this whole trial thing is over. Maybe we can finally leave this place.” 
 “Are you implying that you aren’t a fan of my apartment?” he asks through feigned offence. “I find it to be quite quaint.” 
 “Oh, it’s quaint,” she giggles. “I just feel bad making Henry sleep in a closet.” 
 “It’s not a closet! I pay extra for two bedrooms!”
 With a soft smile, she cups his cheek in her palm and says, “I’m sorry, my love, but that is a walk-in closet.” 
 He rolls his eyes, then rolls off of her and offers her his hand to hoist her off the bed. “Soon we can get him a nice big bedroom, promise. Once the trial’s over, there’s nothing holding us here.” 
 It’s true. While they haven’t fully talked about where they’ll end up when all is said and done, Walsh signed the divorce papers from his cell a few weeks ago. And with the pre-nup null and void, Emma took her half of his fortune and donated it to an organization that supports victims of domestic violence and their children. 
 “Henry’s appointment is at ten, right?” 
 “Yeah,” she nods. Starting him up with Archie has been a blessing. Emma had a lot of fears that he would handle the transitions with difficulty, but with Dr. Hopper’s help, he’s been well adjusted, and she couldn’t be prouder. 
 They struggled with how to tell him about his father, but she never wants to lie to him. They moved out of their old house with haste, grabbing everything they could as quickly as possible so that Emma wouldn’t have to be there for a second longer than she had to. And while Henry was confused, he didn’t seem overly upset. He enjoyed living with the sheriff for a few days, even creating a comfortable nook for Abby, before they sat him down and told him everything. 
 When Emma told her son that the man who’s been in his life all along isn’t actually his father, she thought he would be upset. In reality, though, he simply shrugged and asked if Killian’s house had macaroni and cheese. 
 When Emma told her son who his real father is, a few days after they moved in with him for both safety and stability, he cheered and gave Killian the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give anyone. 
 She still can’t think about that day without crying. 
 “So Sherrie is actually my dad?” 
 Emma nods. “Yes, baby. I’m sorry that this is so confusing.” 
 He ignores her sentiment and asks, “and I can call him daddy?” 
 “You can call him anything you want.” 
 Turning towards Killian, he asks again, “can I call you daddy?” 
 The look on his face is so heartbreaking that Emma’s tears flow freely. Killian looks up at his son, meeting his eyes with glassy ones, and nods. “I’d love that.” 
 “Have you got one as well?” he asks, shaking her from her memories as she wipes away a rogue tear.
 “Wednesday. You’re okay to watch Henry in the morning, right?” 
 “It’s not exactly babysitting, Swan,” he reminds her gently, and she grins at the name he uses and the fact that it’s finally her name again. 
 “I know, but…” 
 “Go and see Ingrid on Wednesday, love. I’m glad you’re still finding it beneficial to talk with her.” 
 Honestly, finding a therapist who happens to have experience working with victims of domestic violence in this small town was a surprise to Emma, but she’s found her work with Ingrid to be invaluable. While she’s known all along that what happened wasn’t her fault, and that she shouldn’t feel guilty about what she and her son went through for all those years, it’s been helpful to hear that from a professional as well. Ingrid reminded her that, while the physical abuse happened only near the end of their relationship, Emma was being emotionally abused the entire time she knew Walsh. She was trapped from the moment she met him, little by little being gaslighted until she believed that she would have nothing if she left him. As hard as it was for her to see how toxic he was at first, it was even harder to imagine leaving when she thought he had so much power over her.
 The guilt that came with finding out she put herself and her child through that for nothing was unmatched. Her feelings and thoughts about herself as a mother, about how she failed to protect her son, are something she’s been battling for months and will likely never be able to fully let go of. Finding out that Killian is Henry’s father gave her the freedom to leave, but it also gave her the most traumatic experience of her life and brought endless feelings of self-hatred, and that’s something she’s been working on coming to terms with, slowly but surely. 
 “Alright,” she agrees, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips as she walks past him towards the bathroom. 
 “I’ll go give him his nebulizer while you get ready.” 
 Stopping short in her path to the shower, she turns to him and smiles. “I love you.” 
 Returning her smile with his own, he says, “I love you, too, Swan.” 
 In eight months, he’s become more of a father than Walsh was Henry’s entire life. 
 ~~~~
 As he watches Walsh being escorted into the courtroom, donning his orange jumpsuit and shackles, Killian is reminded of the last time he saw the man who almost took everything from him. It was months ago, once he was finally transferred to the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department’s jail cell. He was still clearly favoring his left arm, his right shoulder completely out of commission as a result of Killian’s rather good shot, and he felt a sick sense of accomplishment seeing the monster struggling to get comfortable on the firm cot with the sling wrapped around him. 
 “Need something?” he’d asked, although he wasn’t too chuffed to give the bastard anything that would take away his obvious malaise. 
 He scoffed and responded, “yeah, my pain meds would be nice. Are you always in the business of torture?”
 “Aye,” Killian responded without thinking, then he stood up and walked to Walsh’s cell, keys in hand. “I suppose I am. But I really only focus on torturing the absolute most wretched inmates. Like you.” 
 Walsh shook his head and laughed, but Killian didn’t miss the look of fear in his eyes as he inserted the key and swung the cell door open, shutting it behind him. “Talk about protect and serve.” 
 Killian hummed in response and nodded as well as he moved to stand over Walsh’s cot, staring down into his eyes with anger, the strength of which he won’t ever feel again. “The fact is, mate, I couldn’t care less about my duties as the sheriff. Not when the safety and happiness of my son and the woman I love are on the line.” Walsh laughed once more and rolled his eyes, so Killian moved quickly to thrust his open hand down upon his neck, pressing just hard enough to make the animal’s eye pop from his head. “You threatened them. You tried to kill her. You neglected the child you thought was yours for his entire life. You are garbage; a waste of oxygen. Trust me when I tell you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that you never live to see the light of day. You will never take a breath outside of a barbed wire fence. You will never eat anything but the slop they feed you. You will never experience pleasure for as long as you live. And I promise you, you will live for decades in an iron cage, right where you belong.” 
 He was quiet for a moment as his cheeks started to turn red and his eyes grew wider, before he finally gruffed, “I can’t breathe.” 
 “Perfect,” Killian responded. “Then you know exactly how she felt. Count yourself lucky that I’m not going to try and shoot you again.” 
 He released his forceful grip, shoving Walsh down onto the cot as he took in a forceful breath, before he turned and locked the cell, walking back to his desk and collecting his things. When his shift ended, Killian Jones walked out of the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department precinct for the final time. 
 ~~~~
 Henry’s birthday is definitely cause for celebration. He’s turning six. It’s the first time Killian will be able to celebrate his son’s birthday. He’s finally with his Emma, with nothing stopping them from being happy together. There’s a lot for his family to be happy about. 
 “Daddy!” Henry calls as he sprints at full speed towards his father. “Daddy, can I have cake yet?” 
 “No, not yet. You haven’t even touched your lunch. And don’t let your mother see you running wild like that.”
 His more intensive therapies have been working as well as they can, but they know they have to be careful to avoid another serious attack-- one that might not end as well as the last had. Killian only just became a part of his son’s life. He doesn’t intend to lose him. 
 “But it’s my birthday,” he complains, rolling his eyes and giving him a look that could rival his mother’s. 
 “Your birthday isn’t until Monday.”
 “Well, it’s my tarty.” 
 “Your party.” 
 “I think I wanna ask mommy.” 
 Killian chuckles. “If mommy doesn’t tell you to wait until after lunch, I’ll give you five dollars.” 
 His eyes light up and widen immediately, cloudy gray perfectly complimenting the black pupils as he turns from him and runs straight for the door. He watches from the deck as Henry begs and pleads with his mother, giving her his best bambi eyes, before he sees her nod, the lad jumping for joy and shrinking excitedly. He runs towards the sliding door and pounds his fists against it, shouting through the glass, “you owe me five dollars!”
 With a sigh, Killian brushes past his son, ruffling his hair just a bit, before he wraps both arms around Emma’s waist, pulling her in for a hug from behind. “You really got me there, Swan.” 
 “Did I?” she asks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
 She leans back into his chest, turning her head so that she can press a soft kiss to his jaw. “No? Are you telling me our son didn’t inform you of my poorly-made offer?” 
 With a giggle, she answers, “of course he did. That’s what you get for trying to negotiate with our six year old.” 
 He squeezes her a bit tighter, reveling in their loneliness in the kitchen. “He’s still five,” he reminds her, content to never let him grow up.
 “Yes,” she hums. “And what a big difference the two days will make.” 
 He pushes his lips against her cheek and says, “I’m afraid he’s getting too old. We’ll have to return him soon.” 
 “And what,” she laughs, “trade him in for a newer model?” 
 “Aye, that’s the price of fatherhood most men aren’t willing to pay. But I’m not like those other men.” 
 She doesn’t need to be facing him for him to know that she rolls her eyes. “You are absolutely ridiculous.” 
 “--ly in love with you,” he corrects. She does spin around now, turning to face him and burying her face in his neck as her arms hold him in her iron grip. “What is it?” he whispers into her hair more seriously. 
 “Nothing,” she responds softly. “I’m just… happy. It still surprises me sometimes. That we’re here and celebrating our son’s birthday together; that nothing’s stopping us.” 
 “Aye, love, me too,” he agrees, running his hands up and down along the contours of her spine. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” 
 “You won’t ever have to,” she reminds him with a smile as she pulls away just enough to look at him. “We won.” 
 He grins down at her, running his thumb along her cheek as he holds her jaw with his palm. With her ex-husband being found guilty on all charges, his life sentence without the possibility for parole means they’ll never be apart again. “Yes, my love,” he says, leaning down to kiss her chastely. “Let’s simply avoid the scorned husbands and attempts on both of our lives in the future, aye?”
 She agrees with a nod. “Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Fucking idiot got exactly what he deserved, though.” 
 He laughs and says, “as eloquently put as always. I couldn’t agree more.” 
 As it turns out, the prosecution lawyer was very experienced and was able to use Walsh’s statements of intent to kill his wife, as well as the loaded gun pointed directly at her and at the sheriff, to prove two counts of attempted second degree murder, plus assault with a deadly weapon, plus domestic violence, plus election fraud, plus embezzelment. Suffice it to say, Walsh won’t be seeing much daylight for quite some time. 
 Of course, the honorable man in Killian almost thought that sending his mistress’s husband to jail for life as a means to be with her was taking the cheap way out, but he got over those feelings very quickly. It’s not about Killian being with Emma, after all. Not really. 
 As their son laughs raucously on the swing set with his cousin, he sees exactly what it’s about. 
 “I suppose we should do the cake,” Emma finally sighs, lifting her head 
 “I suppose,” he concedes, squeezing her tighter in his hold and pressing a kiss to her temple. 
 ~~~~
 The afternoon rolls into evening, everyone finding a lawn chair or chaise lounge to relax in as David starts a fire and Mary Margaret prepares for an outdoor movie. Honestly, Killian’s son is spoiled with the grandeur of his sixth birthday party, with the giant white screen and the projector displaying The Good Dinosaur for all the children to enjoy. 
 Emma sighs happily as she leans back against Killian’s chest, taking his wrists in her hands and pulling his arms around her middle. She feels warm against him as the fire heats her skin and her sweatshirt, and he can’t get enough of the feeling of the weight of her body pressed to his own. 
 “I love you,” she finally whispers into the dark as the movie starts, the sounds enough to drown out her voice so that only Killian can hear.
 “I love you, too,” he agrees softly, sentimentally, squeezing her just a bit tighter. “More than just about anything.” 
 “Just about?” 
 He hums out a laugh and nods. “I’m afraid I love our son just a tiny bit more than you. That’s normal, right?” 
 “Yes,” she agrees softly, turning to face him and pressing a kiss to his neck. “I’m afraid I love our kids more than you, too.” 
 He smiles and laughs lightly against her, returning her soft kiss with one of his own as he sighs and looks on at their son happily enjoying his special day. “Wait,” he says as it finally dawns on him; the specific wording she chose and the coy smile she dons through a giggle. “Kids?” 
 She hums in agreement, nodding against his chest and pulling his arms tighter around herself until his palm is pressed to her stomach. “I found out this morning.” 
 “Emma,” he breathes, unable to comprehend her meaning. 
 “I was thinking if it’s a boy, we could name him after your brother. At least his middle name. Thoughts?” 
 “Emma,” he tries again, separating his arms and pulling away only far enough to help her turn towards him. “Are you…” 
 “Shh,” she insists, pressing her finger to his lips and grinning at him and she turns to face him head on. Then she whispers, “it’s a secret. I’m pregnant.” 
 He can’t breathe, a shocked sound coming out of his mouth as he leans towards her and captures her lips in his. She grins against him, holding onto the neck of his sweatshirt to pull him impossibly closer to herself. “You’re sure?” 
 “I’ll call the doctor on Monday to make an appointment, but I took three tests. All positive.” 
 “Fuck,” he breathes almost silently, trying hard not to alert those around them of their shift in mood but finding it near impossible. “Fuck, I love you. I thought…” 
 She shakes her head, cradling the back of his neck in her hands as she answers his silent question. “I probably never would’ve been ready,” she explains. They’ve talked about it in passing, and she’s insisted that her last pregnancy was difficult and that she’s still recovering from the trauma she’s endured and is therefore unable to consider the possibility of having another child. “If I had a say, I probably would’ve kept putting it off,” she whispers. “But… surprise.” She shrugs and grins at him.
 He kisses her, because he can think of no other way to express his feelings towards her than to show her what she means to him. There are no words to tell her exactly what she’s given him, not just now, but every second he’s known her. No words, except, “marry me.” 
 She giggles breathlessly, the air escaping her lips hitting the tip of his nose as she gasps, “what?” 
 With a grin, he responds more seriously, “marry me. Please.” He clears his throat and tries again. “Emma Swan-- love of my life, mother of my children-- will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” 
 “You’re serious?” she breathes softly, careful not to alert the other parents present of the sudden shift between them. “You know I just got divorced, like, two months ago.” 
 “Aye, but I should've asked you to marry me seven years ago. The divorce is merely semantics.” 
 She laughs breathlessly again, disbelievingly, and nods her head before pulling him close to her. “Yes,” she whispers against him before pressing a passionate, if not also chaste, kiss to his lips. He can tell that she wants to deepen it, perhaps she wants to take him inside and show him how excited she is, but they're at their son’s birthday party and they have to keep things G-Rated. PG; nothing higher. “Yes,” she says again. Then once more, “yes, I’ll marry you.” 
 Andrew Liam Jones was born seven months later. He was monitored closely throughout Emma’s pregnancy to ensure proper development of his lungs, and when he was born, he screamed like a banshee to alert his parents of his healthy arrival. He weighed seven pounds, three ounces, and was twenty-one inches long. His big brother, newly renamed Henry David Jones following an amendment to his birth certificate, refused to leave the baby’s side until he fell asleep, needing to be carried out of the maternity suite by his uncle while his parents took in the bliss and terror of having a new life to care for. 
 Emma and Killian were married two months after the arrival of their second child, the small ceremony taking place on the secluded, rocky beach in Storybrooke, Maine. At first, Killian wanted to remove his family from the hellish town that nearly stole his life away from him, but she disagreed. This was where they were reunited. This was where they found each other again. This was where she found herself again. It’s where her children were born and raised. So, when she finds a beautiful, blue victorian style home on the outskirts of town and cries at how perfect it is for their family, at how close she would be to her sister, they place an offer. And they win. 
 They won when they found each other again and they know that they will never lose at anything ever again so long as they have each other. 
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Tagging: @courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells​ @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​ @xsajx​ @itsfridaysomewhere​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @rapunzelsghosts​ @spaceconveyor
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arwamachine · 3 years
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Hi there, Arwa! Hope you’re having a wonderful day 🌻
I’d like to ask you questions 3 & 4 for Swallow the Night. I’m pretty new to the Johnlock fandom, but this story had such an impact on me, it made me feel so much for the characters; easily one of my favorites! It was such an emotional journey that took me everywhere from me crying copiously (especially when I got to the TAB chapter) to me jumping around (quite literally) when I got to the end.
Also, question 20 because I’m already a big fan of so many authors and I never know how to phrase my comments or how to show my support and love for your work. (Boy, are y’all so talented and I’m perfectly happy leaving the boys in your hands because yo understand the characters better that Moftiss can, imo.) So, is it okay to contact the author directly or is it better to just leave feedback on ao3?
Cheers! 🌸
Oh goodness thank you so much!! I am so thrilled that you enjoyed that fic so much!!
3. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter?
AAAAAH this is so haaaaard! This fic was so fun to write, and I feel like every scene is my favorite! 😭 I'll try to narrow it down to two.. I really like ch. 6 (the TAB hallucination chapter); writing more Victorian-ish speech was a fun challenge, and I feel like that chapter effectively conveys emotion. I also really like ch 13 (John's life flashing before his eyes, kinda); this was a risk, to do a weird flashback-filled chapter RIGHT in the middle of the climax of the fic, and I wasn't sure how folks would react. Luckily, folks were willing to go along with me!
Honorable mention to ch 9, where Sherlock helps John remember ;)
4. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?
Funnily enough (because you asked about comments as well), there was one flashback in chapter 13 that I ended up re-writing because of reactions to the fic as it was posting! In the flashback, John and Mary are laying in bed being awkwardly not in love, and John asks Mary if she was planning to shoot Sherlock at Leinster Gardens. I cut it because Mary came off as very cold and bitchy, and based on the comments I was getting, readers did not need ANY more convincing that John ought to leave her. In its place, I wrote John and Mary driving home from the tarmac and tried my best to soften her up, show that she is a woman who understands that her marriage is failing and there is little she can do to save it.
20. What feedback makes you the happiest to hear?
I have no problem answering this again, especially in the context of your question! I 100% mean it when any comment/feedback makes me happy, and I thiiiiink I speak for a lot of writers as well when I say that we are just as happy to receive an all-caps text-wall of gibberish as we are a lengthy comment (as we are a simple "loved it!"). I love it all: random emojis, squees, extra kudos, favorite quotes/paragraphs, emotional reactions, things the fic/chapter made folks think about, etc. I even love comments that simply consist of a disembodied scream (honestly, I LOVE screams. I love them. They feed me.).
(omg, and I love comments that mention tiny details too. For instance, in Storm, when Sherlock bought John rhubarb jam because he knew John preferred and a few folks mentioned that in the comments...that made me SO HAPPY! In long chapters where a lot of things happen, it's hard to know if the little things hit.)
I think I just love comments... And I know I'm not alone in that! ;)
For the best way to leave feedback, this probably varies from author to author. I don't mind folks reaching out to me on Tumblr (obviously!), but some authors aren't as active on here. Comments on AO3 are always a good bet!
Thank you thank you thank you so much for the ask!!
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palimpsessed · 4 years
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So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!
If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰
List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k
Total: 4 fics, 113k words
Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.
Best/Worst Title?
Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.
Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself
(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)
Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV
Best/worst summary?
Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.
Best:
To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.
Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away
Worst: A Man of Letters
I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.
Best/Worst First Line?
Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?
Best:
In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)
I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)
Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔
Worst:
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)
I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂
Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)
The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!
Best/Worst Last Line?
Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.
Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.
Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.
Worst:
To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."
It's not bad, it's just not mine.
Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?
I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰
To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).
I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?
I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.
What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?
A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.
Okay, NOW your most popular story?
That depends on the metric.
To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).
But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.
Story most upderappreciated by the universe?
I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.
Story that could have been better?
I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.
Sexiest story?
Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.
Saddest story?
At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.
Most fun?
To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.
Story with the single sweetest moment?
Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.
Hardest story to write?
Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.
Easiest/most fun story to write?
A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂
Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?
I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.
Most overdue story?
I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!
What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.
This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?
Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)
What are your fic writing goals for next year?
Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.
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Self-reminder: I’m writing for myself and that’s fine
For my old followers who followed me for fanfiction, you might have noticed my lack of activity in that department. And while I appreciate the thoughts of readers telling me it’s fine to take a break or write on my own pace, a part of me still feels bad cause writing is part of how I express my emotions. And just not being able to write and continue my WIPs, my plans, and my ongoing projects is really, really difficult.
I was very committed to finish those big projects. I have elaborate and detailed outlines and documents of what to write next. I know what I want to write next but every time I open the document, I just stare at it. At first it was like that, until eventually I didn’t have the courage to open my docs anymore and my AO3 inbox with rotting comments I haven’t replied to until now.
I don’t wanna say that my fics are popular but I have to say that I’ve at least built some engagement with my readers. I get regular comments and even if I haven’t updated anything for months, I still get kudos everyday. And while I agree that engagement and cheers help writers to write more, I still couldn’t return to writing like I did months before. The ideas didn’t die but I just can’t write. Well, for BNHA.
I almost felt like I forgot how to.
But just yesterday, I was able to write 2K words smoothly and continuously and that’s for the light novel series, 86 (Eighty-Six) by Asato Asato. And it’s English-speaking fandom is really small and not even that focused on fan content. When I posted my fic, AO3 only had a total of 3 fics, including mine. This is understandable considering that an anime is still coming. But despite the lack of engagement (It’s been almost a day and until now it only has 4 views) and maybe, that might make me sad, but to be honest, I feel more fulfilled than ever.
I’m not saying that feedback is not important because I’ve been hyped by many kinds of cheer and just the fact that people read my work really, really makes me happy. But feedback is not the only fuel that one can have when it comes to making content. I just truly miss that feeling when I’m writing my older fics. Cause some of my recent stuff, while I liked it to a certain level, despite the feedback I got, it wasn’t as fulfilling as my latest one.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m leaving the BNHA fandom. I’m still very much interested in the series and the ships but somehow, the current arc isn’t helping my creativity or mood. I feel like I’m anticipating the developments so much that I can’t think of anything else but what awaits me in canon, in Hori’s story. I wanna see Hori’s story so bad that I got no time and energy to make my own in his universe. I do hope that I get back to BNHA writing soon though. I’ve invested so much energy and time in coming up with plans and ideas that I still wanna see finished some day. But for now, I’m not gonna force myself to write, only to end up being disappointed by the end result regardless of its quality.
I’m writing this to thank the people who still remember my works and continue to support me even if I’m very inactive. But as the title says, it’s also a reminder to myself to stop feeling guilty over the whole thing.
For now, I’ll focus on things that make me feel fulfillment but again I hope to one day be able to post more BNHA content cause even if wrote all these things in this blog post, you have no idea how much I miss writing for this beloved series.
I have to say sorry for not posting on Tumblr so much anymore. SocMed is overwhelming and I think I’m only active on Twitter and Discord.
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mprosperossprite · 4 years
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I Made Stuff in 2020
Shoutout to @nevermindirah for the tag
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works (fics, art, edits, etc.) you’ve created this year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2020. If you don’t have five published works, that’s fine! Include ideas/drafts/whatever you like that you’ve worked on/thought about, and talk a little about them instead! Remember, this is all about self-love and positive enthusiasm, so fuck the rules if you need to. Have fun, and tag as many fellow creators as you like so they can share the love! <3
In 2020 I re-watched Leverage, which led me to tumblr, which led me to seeing these posts about this movie The Old Guard, which led me to watch one of the best films I’ve ever seen, which led me to AO3, which led me to discord. Before falling down The Old Guard rabbit hole, I hadn’t written fanfiction since 2012. Unsurprisingly, a lot has changed since 2012 for me and for the internet. For the first time since my participation in internet fandom, I feel like I’ve found a community online and that is probably the big theme of this post: making for each other has been an absolute joy in an otherwise pretty shit year.
This is not really a year in review, so much as a last two months review (my first fic of the year was published on November 2nd) but it’s been a utterly delightful and impactful couple of months, so here we are. On to the fics!
1. The Sport of Bright Steel - This was the fic that started it all.  Someone on the Old Guard kinkmeme prompted a Joe/Nicky fic from the POV of their swords and I sat down on my couch one Saturday morning and an hour later had a lil piece of fanfiction all written out. And then I panicked that it was terrible and weird and so posted it anonymously to the kinkmeme. And then someone in the discord rec-ed it in the fanfic channel and then I dusted off my old AO3 account and posted for the first time in 8 freaking years.
2. Our Toil Shall Strive to Mend - This was my second foray back into fanfic (once again, inspired by a kinkmeme prompt), and the first multi-chaptered fic I ever wrote. Big manly man with tiny human? I am weak. I love all of the Old Guard characters, but I think Booker will forever be my favorite to explore in fic. Unlike the others, Booker is a reluctant soldier and much of his pain comes from losing his identity as a husband and father. This fic asks what if Booker’s path to healing comes in the form of fatherhood? Writing the last chapter made me cry happy-sad tears for him.
3. The Perfect Shot - From the idea that both snipers and photographers are in search of “the perfect shot” came this delightfully silly little fic. Nicolo di Genova, sniper and international man of mystery, knows one damn pun/pick-up line and just so happens to find the one man (Joe, photojournalist) whom it works on hook-line-sinker. Everything about this is fun and makes me happy. Never in a million year would I have written this, if not for a very silly post on this website that someone on discord suggested as a Joe/Nicky prompt. Inspiration strikes in the most unexpected of ways. And I fucking love puns, y’all.
4. This Rough Magic - Nicky is a selkie who accidentally get himself married to unsuspecting, marine scientist Joe and it might be my favorite thing I’ve written all year. It’s a story about identity and the unexpected and being willing to take a leap of faith. This fic would not have happened without the discord, and made me so so grateful and happy to be creating with other people and as part of a community. The joy of fanfic is that it is freely created and given, and I never would have dared to write this story without the inspiration, support, and enthusiasm from internet friends. 
5. Bring the World Back into Tune - aka my Book of Nile opus, still a work in progress. Technically it’s a Hades/Persephone fusion, but really it’s about finding family, finding healing, and finding love, about making meaningful choices despite whatever fate or the supernatural has in mind. I fell into Book of Nile because who they are beyond being immortal has so much in common: growing up basically ghettoized in a country that doesn’t give a damn about you, fighting for an imperial army because there were no other viable choices, knowing the pain of missing 1st families. In Bring the World Back into Tune I love that I get to explore what it means to be fated for something (they’ve become Hades and Persephone without realizing it, in addition to the whole immortal thing), and also what it means to still get to choose how you arrive at and cope with that fate. Very few people are reading this on AO3, but it’s something I love working on and through because the characters and ideas are so compelling.
Honorable Mention: Leaving AO3 Comments - One of my greatest joys this year has been in giving to others the kind of love and support I’ve received as a person who makes stuff on the internet. I love leaving AO3 comments, and applying my English major brain to what I’m reading. The things we love most are deserving of our critical attention, including and especially fanfiction. I’ve met fandom soul-mates in the AO3 comments and befriended authors. In response to a shitty anon comment on another fic, I crafted what might be my fanfic manifesto: why fanfic is the heir of western storytelling moreso than our popular media and why the “expectedness” of fanfic is in fact its greatest feature, not it’s biggest flaw. It is A+ work, if I do say so myself.
None of this would have been possible without the internet (the kinkmeme, tumblr, discord, and of course AO3) and, perhaps more importantly, without the great, supportive Old Guard fan communities. Thank you for the beautiful fic and stunning art. For the thoughtful meta and funny headcanons. For the cheering and screaming and encouragement. For the kudos and comments. We make for ourselves and each other and that’s a truly remarkable thing.
Thanks to @hyper-fixate @sweetlyenchains and many others for being so lovely and kind and making my 2020 better with The Old Guard fic and art and thinking and community. If y’all are inspired to do this year end recap too (whether tagged or not), please tag me! I’d love to read about your triumphs too!
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bearlytolerant · 4 years
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I know that as writers, it can be difficult when you publish your work. It seems all your time and effort is just ignored sometimes, especially when the kudos or comments or reblogs aren’t going up.
But I want to encourage all writers to remember the readers who are there. Yes, it’s nice to have a little more interaction or maybe even a little more popularity but having a singular subscription/reblog/comment/kudo, etc means that there is at least one person out there that is in love with your work. I ask that you don’t discredit them.
As a reader I used to leave long comments, quoting my favorite parts and just squealing over things I enjoyed and everything else because I just loved the story and hoped it would encourage the writer but after learning that these people who received comments always wanted more and always complained that they didn’t get comments/nobody liked their writing, I began to feel like my voice didn’t matter. I stopped leaving long comments and opted for emojis because I wanted to validate the writer but I didn’t want to sacrifice all this time just to have the writer discredit it later. Who knows, maybe they hated my comments and that’s on me. And maybe this is just my experience. But regardless, just please try to appreciate the readers you do have. I’m not saying you can’t complain or be discouraged. Just know that when you’re constantly seeking popularity, you’re hurting the people who do pay attention to you.
Trust me, as a writer I’ve been in the spot where I chased after kudos and comments/that one person in fandom to notice my shit and it totally bit me in the ass. It made me hate writing for awhile and I’m pretty sure I lost the readers I had. So I’m speaking from mistakes I’ve made and from trying to grow and do better myself.
Anyway, all this to say, thank you for writing and please don’t forget about the reader who has been cheering you on the whole way. Please don’t forget about your fans you do have. And please, keep writing.
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Year End Writer’s Roundup 2020
This seems like a fun way for me to think back, and appreciate the creativity that I found at the end of 2019 and thoroughly enjoyed in 2020. I’ve said it before, but I went 7 years without writing fics, and being able to write again has been amazing. 
I’ll tag everyone who hasn’t done this yet! It’d be really interesting to hear about other people’s fics, as well. :3
Under read more there’s a small snippet of a fic that’s really close to finishing and will definitely come out in 2021!
AO3: aintgonnaleaveyoumikey
Fandoms: GTA V, GTA IV
Number of fics published: 16 in Ao3 and 4 short ones for Tumblr (1 & 2, 3, 4)
Word count for published fics: 52,771 A lot more than I thought with my slow-ish process of writing. :’)
Word count for unpublished fics: 17,547 Because I work on multiple fics at a time, writing whatever I feel like in that moment! That’s why I got a lot of fics started a bit and even more ideas listed (88 right now). 
Fic I spent the most time on: Something Happened On The Way To Heaven (But We'll Get There) as a whole is obviously the thing taking most of my time. And (No More) Afterglow aka part 4 of the series took me 7 months, so there’s that... Almost lost faith with it but now I’m writing part 5 with new energy!
Fic I spent the least time on: All the 4 Tumblr ficlets mentioned above. 
Favorite thing I wrote:  - SHOTWTHBWGT is my passion project, so I’ll say that, but I can find something good in all of my fics. - Honorary mention goes to Second Shower because writing that made me like the first Shower a lot more! I still don’t understand how it is my most popular fic, going by amount of kudos, if we ignore SHOTWTHBWGT... but you go fandom :D - And of course I gotta mention the fanzine, what a cool project! 
Writing Goals For Next Year: - Keep having fun with writing, don’t make it a chore or a must. - Worry less about what people might think of the non-Trikey fics and just do what you want. - Finish at least 2 parts of SHOTWTHBWGT. (Obviously I’d like to publish more than two parts, but if I make no promises about that, I don’t have to break them...) - Finish the few fics that are already really close to being finished. :’D
Fic I want to rewrite/expand on:  - If I had more free time, I might rewrite the first 3 parts of SHOTWTHBWGT just because I don’t like the formatting anymore. I think my text is a lot cleaner and easier to read in part 4 and in my other more recent fics. - I’m thinking of doing a second part for Digging. Basically it would be a rewrite of Fresh Meat.  A Kind Of Magic might get a second part, as well, because I really like the versions of Michael and Trevor I’m creating. 
Share a bit of a WIP or story idea you’re working on:  Just say a number and I will... But here’s one that I won’t reveal too much about!
Michael had learned from a very young age that whenever he thought he was doing well, life had the habit of kicking him in the balls for daring to imagine he deserved to be happy.
And apparently, once again, life thought that he had been too fortunate. 
It was another movie night. Those had become a habit of theirs after they realized that they didn’t really know what else to do on dates — although every now and then, Trevor suggested a cheerful night of murdering methhead bikers or his other enemies, which didn’t really read as a date to Michael.
After they made their way to the back row of the theater, Michael carrying a box of popcorn, he wrapped his arm around Trevor’s shoulder like usual.
Trevor leaned into him. “So what’s it about?” Trevor asked, motioning to the screen that was currently forbidding masturbation in the theatre, a rule that Michael and Trevor technically hadn’t broken. 
“Leo gets mauled by a bear,” Michael answered with a grin. "I don't know. I tried to steer clear of spoilers."
“Sounds great,” Trevor snorted and stuffed his face with popcorn before the movie even started. 
Michael loved taking Trevor to the movies, even if Trevor wasn’t as big of a fan as he was. Trying to figure out which movies they both might like wasn't an easy task, but he had managed quite a few times. 
Not this time.
Other thoughts: This thing also originally had a question about the favorite thing I’ve read this year. Unfortunately/ironically I haven’t had time to read as much fics since I started writing. But this fandom is full of talented writers and artists, much love! <3 And I’ll get around to reading the 60+ GTA fics on my bookmarks one of these days... :’D
I wanna thank anyone who leaves kudos and comments to fics, you’re amazing. ;_; I should leave more comments, too. Maybe a new year’s resolution?
Also wanna thank anyone who’s made me art commissions and done beta reading for me! <3
Happy and creative 2021, everyone!
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blacklakeinavalley · 5 years
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Reylo confessions / TRoS personal review upon first watching
"You opened yourself to the dark side for a pair of pretty eyes” - in retrospect this pretty much sums up how my obsession with the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy came into being. I was here for Reylo, Bendemption, and most of all Ben Solo since around TLJ. I could and still can relate to this character’s struggles and find him physically very attractive. That’s basically how it went down.
I had only once watched the OT, a few years before TFA came out. Then, in 2015, friends dragged me to watch TFA (I was like “meh, blockbuster” aka a snob at that time). I was pleasantly surprised though when I found the movie very well-made and entertaining. I did NOT get the Reylo-vibes then but remember strongly identifying with Rey’s fear at the beginning of the interrogation and Kylo’s line “You know I can take whatever I want“ making me shiver. I cheered at Rey for beating Kylo up on Starkiller Base and (joke’s on me for the worst take ever) legitimately left the theater believing him dead because of the explosion of the planet. That didn’t make me sad, but satisfied.
I did not think about Star Wars again until January/February(?) 2017. Another group of friends planned on watching TLJ together and and I browsed the Internet for some critics to read in advance, just out of curiosity. Somehow I ended up watching the interrogation scene on Youtube again and again, the sexual tension between the two I now clearly recognized finally taking my breath away. I discovered skysilencer’s/chandrilasky’s wonderful blog (which doesn’t exist anymore) about Rey’s and Ben’s relationship and generally started reading as many metas on this topic as I could find.
I fell in love with the pairing, and especially the portrayal of Kylo / Ben. Getting to watch TLJ in the theater was a bit disappointing for me though, after having read so many raving reviews on tumblr beforehand. At that time I could not really appreciate the changes in pacing and all the depths and nuances. By now I love this movie. Strangely, I never watch it in one go, only in smaller portions. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I like TFA just as well. Ironically, the fight on Starkiller Base is still my favorite Reylo scene ever - because there’s so much more going on than “Rey beating Kylo up“. For me, TFA definitely is a lot easier to watch, mostly because of the more conventional pacing, I guess.
Therefore I was quite happy when I heard that JJ Abrams was going to direct episode IX too. I actually never doubted that he had planted the seeds for Reylo in TFA / episode VII. Sadly, TRoS, which I finally went to see with my sweetheart yesterday, left me pretty untouched for the most part. After roughly two years of really looking forward to, actually longing for this day, seeing it was not the experience I had hoped for. This is not to say that the movie per se is only bad.
TRoS spoilers ahead!
I am a sucker for “grounded” speculation and have difficulties to keep away from spoilers. And I’m really invested in Ben Solo’s fate. This led to me reading JediPaxis’ leaks weeks ago and hanging around on this site pretty much non-stop shortly before and since the premier of the movie. When the realization that Ben Solo actually dies (or does he?) kicked in, I went through some kind of mourning that included having difficulties to concentrate, the urge to cry, listening to sad music, and definitely crying a lot while watching a camrip of him finding happiness and then dying in a loop.
And maybe that’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t enjoy the actual movie more. I already knew the whole plot, had seen lots of gifs and had already kind of processed the emotionally challenging stuff, at least to some extent. So I just didn’t feel much, neither surprise, nor joy or grief while watching. Again, joke’s on me for getting myself extensively spoiled and reading about other people’s (negative) reaction to the movie. I didn’t even look forward to seeing it anymore, tbh.
My boyfriend on the other hand, who has seen TFA once and TLJ twice in his life and went into TRoS openmindedly after only a very short recapitulation of what had happened in the previous films, actually really liked it. He found it very entertaining, even surprising and well-made, especially the camera-work. He was all for Rey being a power women, for example when she prevented the transporter Chewie was presumably on from leaving by Force powers (Chewie then being on another transporter, not the one that got destroyed, was a cheap move and sort of a plot hole for him though). He generally sees the whole thing as an action adventure and advocates for not intellectually dissecting it or expecting too much depth out of a Star War. He likes the OT as a casual fan (he was the one to show me the original films in the first place), didn’t like the Prequels at all, was not a fan of TLJ and found TFA okay. We are going to watch TRoS again early in January with friends and he’s looking forward to it. So for him, episode IX is the best sequel film.
What I personally liked about TRoS:
- the very beginning - because Kylo and all the voices in his head, the nightmarish setting of the Sith temple as a representation of (mental) darkness, hopelessness and loneliness ...
- the overall feeling of the Pasaana festival (joy! color! coming together to celebrate!)
- the Poe and Zorri dialogue on Kimiji, because FINALLY a quiet and somewhat thoughtful moment AT LAST
- Finn and Jannah bonding over being former Stormtroopers being another somewhat quiet moment in the movie
- Ben seeing Han in memory actually made me feel SOMETHING
- the scenes of the last battle to end all battles (both Rey/Ben vs Palpatine and Resistance vs First Order) were sort of okay
- somewhat unexpectedly, I also really sympathized with Poe during some moments of the final battle
- the Rey and Ben Solo stuff after his final turn to the light was beautiful and heartbreaking (side note: I like to think that all the Jedi were talking to Ben too as he was rising/climbing from that pit)
- Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is already an icon, thanks to Adam Driver’s amazing acting skills and admireable dedication to this role. And that’s also true for TRoS.
- I actually liked the Resistance base scene after their victory, their immense relieve was so palpable
- the overall visuals of the movie are fine
What I did not enjoy:
- Everything felt so rushed. There’s too much happening in too little time, especially during the first half. The movie just doesn’t take any time to breathe, the effect being that you don’t really get into the story - the exact opposite of what the fast pacing was supposed to accomplish. Maybe less would have been more. Or the movie lasting for 15 minutes longer.
- Probably the worst thing: Most dialogues/lines, especially in the first half, are just super cringey ... TFA and TLJ dialogue never felt like this - or have I just gotten used to their text script over time? I have the small hope though that everything will sound better (at least to me) in English (we had to watch TRoS in German). Kylo Ren talking through his helmet was the worst in that regard, because Adam Driver’s voice is so distinct to me by now that the German voice-over felt 100% out of place and got me super irritated. It was downright painful.
- Very personal opinion: Upon closer look, both TFA and TLJ seem to be about Ben pretty much all the time, and I am all here for it. I did not get the same impression out of TRoS. But maybe that’s just a “recipient as co-creator of a story“ thing and I might be able to construct such a reading also for TRoS over time, after getting to know the movie better.
What really matters to me in the end:
- I am still invested in the character and story of Ben Solo. A movie (TRoS) made me mourn a fictional character, which IS something, even if said character was built to a great extent in previous movies.
- As said before, I enjoy theorizing, analyzing and the quest to better understand stories. And I just don’t want to be mad at the creators already. Ben’s death was painful, but I understand this pain as an invitation to delve deeper into all if it. If in the end the script and plot keep making little sense (which is a real possibility), I will keep to cherishing the parts I liked.
Conclusion:
Yes, I found TRoS very disappointing upon first watching, script-wise way below TFA and TLJ. Very likely it will always feel rushed and badly written to me. Maybe I'll like it even less after watching it again in about a week from now.
But, for the reasons mentioned above, I will probably still give it multiple (undeserved) chances. Because there certainly are good parts in it.
---
Kudos if you’re still here! And sorry for any language mistakes. Please comment, if you feel like it.
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sandersstudies · 5 years
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Quirky - Chapter 7
A High School Superhero AU - Sanders Sides
(Will add tag list in a reblog! If I miss you, please let me know ASAP - As always, asks, comments, messages, reblogs, and keysmashes are more than welcome.)
Attention: This chapter has some mild sensitive content. Warnings in tags!
Chapter Six
Chapter Five
Chapter Four
Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter One
You can now also find the fic with the same username and title on AO3 :) Feel free to stop by and leave kudos!
***
Roman wasn’t used to shrinking down into his shoulders, but found himself doing it as he walked from the school to the street. He took quick glances toward the road, watching for the car his mother had promised to send. Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai passed, with Rafaela swinging into her mom’s car and the boys climbing onto the school bus. If there was anyone Roman didn’t want to see him, it was those three. Oh, and maybe Patton and his mind-hearing quirk.
The white Subaru he’d been waiting for pulled up, and Roman exchanged the family code phrase with the driver before he slid inside and the car pulled away. Private drivers were just one advantage of having ex-hero parents. Roman leaned against the window and caught a glimpse of Virgil and Logan walking in the same direction. Those two had certainly become real buddies, now. He supposed it came with being weak-quirked.
But then again, Roman remembered, maybe Virgil wasn’t weak-quirked. Roman still wasn’t sure what had happened to that beam in the Ruins Zone, but it didn’t seem like the work of somebody like Virgil. What was next, Logan blowing up a building? Roman was tempted to force a laugh when one didn’t rise naturally. He hadn’t been laughing much lately. Virgil’s weird little stunt today hadn’t helped. Roman’s mind had raced through the scene a dozen times unbidden. The feeling of his knuckles slamming against the wall (two of his fingers had scraped and bled). The harsh light overhead, blocked by the heavy shadows of the ruins. The groaning that had become a roar over his head, and the dark shadow over him vanishing as the beam flew away. Turning to see Virgil. “Shut up, lightbulb.” It was interesting. Roman hadn’t seen Virgil bristle quite so much before. For a second, he could actually imagine the pipsqueak passing the entrance exam with that kind of annoying spunk.
Roman felt warm with anger, and squashed the feeling down his throat. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He began counting street lights, and got to twenty-four before the car pulled into the parking lot of West Izuku Hospital.
“Thanks,” he said as he got out.
“Would you like me to wait for you, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver asked.
“No, that’s okay, thanks. I’ll call in a bit.”
Roman felt himself shrinking again as he walked through the revolving door of the hospital and up to the receptionist’s desk. The secretary was the same woman who’d greeted him yesterday, and she double-checked the room number for him before he thanked her and walked toward the elevators.
When the doors opened, a doctor and nurse got off before Roman got on. As he did so, someone shouted, “hold the elevator!” from somewhere behind him, and he turned to press his hand against the sliding door. A middle-aged woman with a load of balloons skittered inside, the bumbling balloons making dull bonking noises as their bloated bodies bent against the door and one another. Once the woman was inside, the balloons took up most of the elevator, and Roman was struck by the sudden image of the elevator ascending through the hospital ceiling and floating away with the power of helium.
“Thank you, young man,” the woman said. “Could you press floor three, please?”
Roman obliged, also pressing the button for the fifth floor.
“Sorry about the balloons,” the woman said. “My sister just had twins, a boy and a girl, so I just had to pick up balloons for both of them.” The mass of pink and blue seemed self-explanatory to Roman, but he hummed in understanding, and the woman took it as a cue to go on. “My sister just loves balloons. Usually I bring flowers when there’s a new baby, but I thought she’d like this better. Who are you visiting today?” Before Roman could answer, the elevator chimed and the woman clucked. “Oh, this is my stop. Have a nice day!” The balloons squeezed and complained squeakily again as she got off, but finally gave in and popped out of the door to follow her down the hallway of the maternity ward. No one else got on, and Roman rode alone to floor five.
“It’s Roman, isn’t it?” one of the nurses at yet another desk said as he got off the elevator. Roman didn’t like the dripping sympathy in her voice, but he nodded.
“Your dad’s awake now, I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see you.” She smiled with only her lips. “Would you like me to show you the way again?”
“I can find it myself,” Roman said. “Thanks, though.”
“Just let us know if you need anything.”
Roman hummed another response and hurried down the hallway. He counted floor tiles for an excuse to look at his feet, only glancing up to keep track of room numbers. He reached thirty-two tiles, because 519 was at the end of the hall. He knocked on the doorframe before entering.
The Flying Falcon peered up from behind a newspaper. He’d been reduced to his civilian state, wearing a pair of reading glasses and a hospital gown. All his hospital paperwork, of course, had listed him as Joseph Martin.
“Hey, son,” he said, extending one splinted hand toward a seat near his bed. “The nurses told me you came by before school this morning, sorry for sleeping in.”
“Didn’t want to bother you,” Roman said, standing just inside the door. His eyes were drawn to his fathers’ chest, now covered by a hospital gown.
“Come on and sit,” Roman’s father insisted.
Roman sunk into the seat. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better, don’t worry about it.” He waved his un-splinted hand dismissively. “Did Mamá tell you what the doctors said? A sprained wrist, and two fractured ribs that-”
“Punctured the lung,” Roman finished. “I heard.”
“That was some car accident,” he went on, shuffling the pages of his newspaper. “I think I’m very lucky.”
“Right,” Roman said.
***
Rafaela, Kenny, and Kai had completely vanished by the time Roman raced down the alley after them, police sirens still ringing in his ears. He didn’t remember much of his sprint home, only arriving at the front door and fumbling for his key to let himself in. He opened the door and drew it closed silently behind him. His chest was heaving, and he felt like someone had wrapped their first around his esophagus. He started for the stairs when he realized there was a light shining from under his parents’ bedroom door. There was a hushed voice speaking upstairs.
Roman swallowed. Maybe if he was quiet, he could sneak up the stairs and into his room before his mother even realized he’d been gone. He took two steps upward in silence, and took the third with more confidence, only to have it squeal under his weight. He froze.
“One minute, please,” he heard. There was a shuffle before the door of his parents’ room swung open and his mother’s face peered out.
“Eres tu, mi principito?” she asked. She rubbed one eye. Both were red, but there were no tears on her cheeks. “What are you doing up so late, sweetheart?”
“Sorry for waking you up, Mamá,” he muttered. His mouth was dry. “I was just getting some water.”
“You’re sweating,” his mother said, setting down her phone and walking down the stairs. “Do you feel sick?” She pressed her palm against his forehead.
“I feel fine.”
She gently cupped his face. “Hey, honey, I have something to tell you, okay?”
Roman couldn’t make eye contact, so he stared past her ear. “What?”
“Your father was in an accident on his drive back from the university,” she said. “He’s gonna be okay, but I’m going to go to the emergency room to see him.”
“I’m coming too.”
“Oh, honey, you know I want you to, but if you’re not feeling well-” She touched his forehead again.
“I’m okay.”
She paused for a moment and blinked softly at him. “Okay. Take my keys and start the car. I’m going to wrap up this phone call and be right out.”
“Is Dad on the phone?”
“It’s our old agent from hero work,” she said, starting up the stairs. “Lola, you remember her?”
“Calling about a car accident?” Roman said, sudden anger rising in him.Was this agent lying to his mother, or was his mother lying to him?
“They...monitor these things, honey,” the one-time Lady Lightbringer said without turning around. “It’ll be okay, I’ll be right out.”
***
“Mamá told me that Lola Brown called,” Roman said.
“That’s right,” his father said, staring down at the newspaper. “Very nice of her. You see this here?” He held up the paper. There was a photo of Multi-Man, an old one from the height of his hero career, and a headline about his arrest.
“Yeah, everybody at school is talking about it,” Roman said.
Joseph nodded and sucked his lip. “He was a really good man,” he said. “Interned at my agency when he wasn’t much older than you. Very bright kid, really dedicated to hero work. Can’t imagine what happened.”
“What did happen?” Roman asked, feeling anger in his stomach again. “What did he do?”
His father chuckled. “It’s all hearsay, of course,” he said. “Some kind of attack outside city hall. If I hadn’t been in that car accident maybe I’d have trotted up there myself!” He laughed, and his hand flew to his side. “Ah, this is just another sign it’s time for me to leave hero work in the past. I’m getting to be too old.”
“You’re not old, Dad,” Roman said, trying to sound cheerful.
“Not too old yet,” Joseph admitted. “Still too young to like being cooped up in here. They say it’ll be another couple days before this thing can come out.” He prodded the tube that was snaking out of the sleeve of his hospital gown.
“I’m sorry,” Roman said. “Did Mamá visit today?”
“She dropped by and brought lunch,” he responded. “I’m not much of a fan of hospital food.”
“She didn’t really tell me much about the accident,” Roman said cautiously. “What happened?”
Joseph paused and rustled the pages of his newspaper. “Gee, I...well you know what, I barely remember it. One of those funny things that happens, I suppose.” He tapped his forehead. “Doctors say I was lucky to have no concussion. But tell me about school, Ro,” he said, swerving from the topic. “I missed your first week, how’s it been?”
“Well, you heard about Mr. Sanders,” Roman said. Joseph smiled sympathetically. Roman went on. “A bunch of the students were really upset, and all.”
“Does ‘a bunch of students’ include one named Roman Lightflight?”
Roman shrugged. “Trying to focus on studying, I guess.”
Joseph grinned. “Just like your mom,” he said. “My very first semester at UA, I remember she was top of the class. Everybody, even the teachers, started saying, ‘that Ximena Alcérreca, she’s the one to beat!’ I miss the old place, every once in a while.”
Roman faked a smile of pride at the comparison to his mother, but wilted internally, knowing that the praise was given unfairly. He couldn’t remember a single thing Mr. Picani had said in literature all week. Had he even had a pencil out for biology?
“Do they still set you right to work with training?” his father asked.
“We did a bomb exercise,” Roman said. “Heroes against villains. I was a hero.”
“Well, that wasn’t just for the exercise,” Joseph said. “Did you win?”
“...Yeah.”
“That’s good! That’s great! I’m sure your classmates were blown away!” His eyes had lit up (less literally than Roman’s often did), and Roman wondered if his father was remembering his own time at UA. “Mamá said your class had a field trip to USJ today, how was that?”
Roman saw Virgil, cheeks flushed with anger and purple hair bristling and hazel eyes flashing, illuminated a moment in his head. He shifted to hide his scratched hand behind him. “It was okay.”
“Your class had fun?”
Roman swallowed. “Yeah, well, it’s nice having some kids from middle school there.”
“I’d hope so,” Joseph said. “It’s the best prep school in the area. Rafaela and Kai and….Kenny, isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Going to ditch your old man today to hang out with your pals, then?”
“No,” Roman said, a little too sharply. Joseph paused.
“Been a falling out?” he asked.
Roman shrugged.
“It happens,” Joseph insisted, shifting his weight in the hospital bed so he could reach Roman’s shoulder. “When a group of people move to a new stage in life, like high school, sometimes they start to go their separate ways,” he said. “It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it makes you realize who your real friends are.”
Roman stifled the pain in the center of his chest. “It’s just tough,” he said. He straightened his shoulders. “But I’m gonna do it, Dad. I’m going to graduate and be a hero and everything.”
“Well, don’t underestimate the power of having friends by your side,” his father responded. “Being a hero doesn’t always mean going it alone.” One of his hands wandered vaguely to his chest and rested over where his broken ribs were. He seemed to suddenly come to himself and spoke again. “Any new friends, then?”
“Not really,” Roman admitted. “Well, there’s this one kid…”
His father didn’t fill the gap.
“There’s this other kid who got in on recommendation,” Roman said. “Patton something.”
“Nice kid?”
“I guess so.”
“Powerful quirk, I’ll bet.”
There was a pause. “I think I’m gonna get going, Dad,” Roman said, standing up and shouldering his backpack. “I want to get home and...study.”
Joseph looked taken aback only a moment, and then nodded vigorously. “Exactly what I like to hear,” he said. “Well, give your old man a hug and I’ll let you head out. Probably gets pretty stuffy sitting too long in a hospital, huh?”
Roman reached in for a hug, awkward from his father’s angle. “I’m really glad you’re doing okay.”
“Well, no car accident is going to knock down the Flying Falcon, is it?” Joseph Martin asked triumphantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow.”
Roman made a point not to make eye contact with the nurses as he shuffled into the elevator. As he descended, he made a brief call to his driver. The elevator picked up two men from the fourth floor and then sunk to the first. Roman’s phone buzzed cheerily with a text message as he stepped off.
Rafaela. Hey dude I know stuff is weird but whatevers going on w your dad i hope everythings ok
He swiped to dismiss the text and started to put his phone in his pocket. It buzzed again and Roman felt a crinkle of anger in his cheeks before he saw the word “Mamá” on the screen.
Know you’re probably still at the hospital, have to head out for a little while and might be hard to get a hold of. Contact Lola if there’s an emergency. Pizza in the freezer for you. <3
<3 U, Roman replied. His ride arrived quickly, and Roman drummed his fingers against the side of the car as he climbed in.
“Back home, Mr. Lightflight?” the driver said, already turning in that direction.
“Take me to city hall, first.”
***
Roman had watched his mother’s face from the first moment they entered the emergency room (which was calmer than he’d expected). The one-time top hero was not one to show her vulnerability. But Roman had felt her grip a little too light on his arm, had heard her voice a little too high, had seen her leg bounce with anxious waiting. They had entered the place where the Flying Falcon was flightless on the gurney, chest half-exposed to reveal bruises and a small tube protruding from his chest. It was only for a moment when, as she held her husband’s hand, Roman had seen the fire of Lady Lightbringer in the tears suspended in her amber eyes but not falling. When she had stood to touch Roman’s shoulder, she was strengthened instead of wavering, and for a moment Roman had been afraid of his own mother.
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missytearex · 5 years
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This is a bit late, but I heard it was @uhohmorshedios‘ birthday yesterday, so let’s reflect on all the wonderful fic that she has shared with us in the last year! 
🎉 Ladies Night Inn
twylexis | 15k | teen and up
She’d always known Alexis is beautiful. But tonight’s the first time she’s really seen her. And she’s not just beautiful. She’s vulnerable and strong and carefree and thoughtful, and because she’s so open, you can see all of that in her aqua eyes. It’s breathtaking.
She’s breathtaking.
---
What if Twyla had accepted Alexis' invitation to a ladies night in her motel room after she and Mutt broke up?
🎉 Rear View
zaynshaw | 12k | mature --- from @1drarepairfest
“So,” Nick says, “Still have a few things left to do tonight, you say? Could I help at all?”
“You want to get your hands a little dirty, do you?” Zayn prods.
“Well, I might as well, I suppose.” Nick takes his coat and scarf off and scans the garage for a safe, clean place to set them down. “Maybe be slightly less useless next time something happens? Plus, you look desperate for another pair of hands.”
Zayn motions to a leather bench seat on the ground a few yards away. “You can set your stuff there. Cleanest seat in the house.”
“Hmmm,” Nick hums, walking back over towards Zayn, rolling up the sleeves of his black button down to reveal very slim but toned forearms. “So,” he says when he’s next to him, peering into the engine, “how can I be of service?”
___
Nick's car breaks down at the start of a road trip and Zayn's the mechanic who tows him to his small town, where it looks like he'll be stuck for a few days.
🎉 A Little Bit Go Girl
twylexis | 4.7k | explicit --- from @open-fic-night
She can feel tonight still. She can feel the way Twyla’s kisses hadn’t just been for fun. There had been intention behind them. Need. Alexis smiles and shifts in bed, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself to sink into the mattress, as though this stupid motel bed has absolutely any give at all. She flutters her eyelids before closing them firmly again, focusing on how tonight, with Twyla, it hadn’t just been Twyla’s lips pressed into hers that she’d felt, or the light touch of Twyla’s fingers dancing softly but purposefully over her skin. It was light touches that somehow ignited sparks in her skin that rippled outward. It was kisses she felt in her throat and her lungs. Kisses she felt in her core. Kisses she could still feel now.
When Alexis can't sleep after Twyla leaves her motel room, she spends some time trying to process what happened and what it means. And David comes home the next morning wanting details.
Alexis POV Ladies Night Inn timestamp.
🎉 Take a Chance, Just Feed Me
larry | 4.3k | explicit
He’s in the midst of marveling over how Harry can be simultaneously dorky and hot, how he can just be so… much... of everything at all times, when–
“Cute as a button, every single one of you!”
Oh no.
Just like that, Louis loses the battle against his own smile. The crinkles around his eyes deepen and spread out in a fan as his bottom lip breaks free from the grip of his teeth.
He’s done for.
Louis needs some time alone with Marcel, and he’s hoping Harry will play along.
🎉 (marshmallow) fluff
larry | 2.6k | general audiences --- from @wordplayfics
Harry and Louis spend a quiet(ish) morning at home with their kids.
🎉 Pals and Confidantes
gen | 2.5k | general audiences --- from @1dshortficfest
The Guys sit around the kitchen table sharing cheesecake and stories of bad dates.
Golden Girls AU.
🎉 A Way So Familiar
ziam | 2.4k | teen and up --- from @1dshortficfest
Liam squeezes Zayn’s hand and presses a light kiss to his fingers. He freezes when Zayn stirs, worried he’s woken him. He’s not ready to wake him. He’s enjoying being held as he wades through the memories of that first night he'd held Zayn. Held him so properly and thoroughly that he had fallen asleep still holding him tightly.
That night of pizza and beer and unadulterated flirting, when their playfulness had taken on a greater significance. It had felt revelatory. Like it was all finally – fucking finally – happening.
Liam wakes up in Zayn’s arms and reminisces about some of their “firsts.”
🎉 That's My Thing
tomlinshaw | 1.6k | explicit --- from @wordplayfics
“Suppose I did it on purpose.”
And Louis’ eyebrow jumps again, just for a moment.
“Did you now?” His eyes flash, an underlying playfulness belying the anger painted across his, fuck, absolutely sharp as knives cheekbones. “Wanted a bit of trouble, maybe?”
All Nick can do is nod, tightly and rapidly. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, eager for Louis to demand he put them to work.
Nick comes home to find Louis inexplicably primed for a fight...or perhaps something a bit more interesting.
🎉 Word Play
lirry | 1.3k | teen and up --- from @wordplayfics​
Liam's frustrated over grading his students' papers and Harry tries to cheer him up.
🎉 I got this one.
shiall | 0.6k | general audiences --- from @wordplayfics
Shawn reflects on the seemingly mundane moment he knew Niall was for him.
🎉 What's Mine is Yours
narry | 0.4k | general audiences
Niall is settling in for a relaxing evening at home when his new neighbor pops by.
🎉 Tin Roof 
zouis | 0.3k | general audiences --- from @wordplayfics
Zayn and Louis get caught in the rain on a walk through the woods and seek shelter.
Remember to leave kudos and comments to support the author!
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fanfic-inator795 · 5 years
Text
RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - Chapter Four
(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a comment or kudos)
Plot:  Benjamin Draxum hardly considered himself a man of high social standing. Not because he was uncouth or unworthy of it, mind you, but simply because he didn’t have much of a social life. Hard to have one when he usually spent his days at work, cooped up in a lab for so long that he often had his lunches in there, and his nights at home reading or doing research for more personal projects. But perhaps meeting handsome semi-retired movie star - as well as his four young sons - could change all that…
First off: Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments, it's just so SO encouraging that people are supporting this AU ^v^ Your kind words and feedback mean the world to me!
Secondly: That hiatus I was gonna go on to work on original stuff? Yeahhhh, didn't really pan out... BUT, i'm still gonna try to work on original stuff the best I can, I'm just gonna also work on fanfics when I'm in the mood. I figured trying to limit myself and divide my focus is better than going cold turkey on fanfics and not having anything to work on when I hit writer's block on my original stuff. So yeah, expect semi-frequent updates, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter! ^v^ Quick note: It takes place directly after Lou and Draxum's date in the last chapter (but before the little bit at the end of ch. 3 with Draxum going into work and Huginn and Muninn noticing his good mood, heh). Okay, here we go!
“...So, how come we’re meeting Dr. Draxum for breakfast?” Raph asked, glancing away from his window and the passing New York architecture.
“Actually it's brunch, but yeah, why?” Donnie said from the back-left seat, though he didn't bother to look up from his book, “Didn't you guys JUST see each other yesterday night?”
“I bet you guys are really good friends now!” Mikey grinned, “Just like us an’ April!”
Looking up from the road for just a moment, Lou smiled at his youngest son using the rear view mirror. “Yes, we are… But, Dr. Draxum wanted to see you all again too.” He left it at that for now, wanting him and his new boyfriend to explain the situation to his children together, as well as answer any questions they may have had.
Thankfully, three of his four kids were satisfied with this answer and went back to either looking out the window or, in Donnie’s case, reading. Leo however couldn't help but stare at his father. Something was up… He knew something was up! Maybe he wasn't as smart as his twin, but Leo still liked to think that he was a bit more observant than the average six year old, at least.
He saw the extra smiles his dad would make whenever Draxum was mentioned, and how excited he was to see him again. And his face would sometimes get sorta red too… While yeah, Leo would've been happy with his dad just making a new friend, there was something about how he hung out with the long-haired doctor that made him seem like way more than a friend. How happy his dad was to see or hear from him, how long they'd talk over the phone, how close they'd sit or stand near each other…
Oh yeah, Leo could see it clearly. The boy tipped his blue cap low over his face, trying to hide his smirk. He'd seen enough Disney movies to know EXACTLY where this was going - and maybe he hadn't shared his theory with his brothers yet, but he was still gonna rub it in their faces that he knew all along.
Soon enough, the family of five arrived at one of the big city’s cozy local diners. Before moving to help his kids out of the car, Lou made sure to swap out his normal yellow tinted glasses with his darker sunglasses - or his ‘sneaking around so no one knows I'm a movie star’ glasses, as dubbed by his kids. (Not that they even really minded whenever their dad was ambushed by fans, usually making a game out of who could sneak into the most photos or who could get the most compliments.)
Thankfully, the glasses did their job, and the hostess greeted them like she would any family. “Table for six, please,” Lou told her, “we’re still waiting for one other person.” The hostess nodded and led them to a large, round table near the back of the restaurant.
It was only a few minutes later, after they were given coffee, milk and free crayons to draw on the kids menus with, that Draxum arrived looking the most casual that Lou had ever seen him. The scientist was wearing a dark green polo with brown jeans, and his long hair was actually loose rather than in a ponytail or braid, instead simply resting over his broad shoulders. Lou quickly waved him over, flashing his boyfriend a grin that in turn made him smile softly.
“‘Morning, Dr. Draxum!” Raph greeted while Mikey waved and the twins nodded.
“Good morning to you as well, boys,” he nodded back, sitting down, “And to you, Lou.”
“Yes, a very good morning.” Lowering his voice a bit, Lou added, “For the record, you should definitely wear your hair down more often.”
Draxum rolled his eyes, though let himself smile back at the man just a little. “I’ll consider it. So, what's everyone get-?”
“Waffles!” “Pancakes!” “French toast!” “Breakfast burritooooo!”
“Boys, inside voices, remember?” Lou lightly scolded. His boys mumbled an apology before eagerly making additions to their breakfast requests, now at a much quieter volume. Draxum smiled, a bit amused by the wholesome scene. How Lou could manage to keep a level head while raising four slightly rowdy boys on his own, Draxum didn't know, but it was certainly impressive. Maybe fatherhood was just easier after dealing with the stresses of Hollywood, Draxum supposed.
“I’ll probably just get one of these bacon and cheese omelets,” Lou told him, “and what are you getting?”
His date hummed. “I think I may get a couple pieces of French toast, as well. Though just so you know, we’re getting separate checks-”
“Ah-ah, no way,” Lou told him, insistent, “You made dinner last night, I can buy breakfast today.”
“Technically it's brunch, and honestly Lou, this was my idea and I'm perfectly capable of buying my own breakfast-”
“Didn't say you weren't, Ben.” The ex-star then angled his face down a bit so Draxum could see his eyes over his glasses. “I'm just saying that I'm the type who likes to treat a guy right.”
Draxum huffed. “How annoyingly chivalrous of you,” he retorted, even if his expression was anything but annoyed. Lou just flashed him a grin.
While his brothers continued to draw and talk, no longer interested in the strange conversation, Leo just made a face at the two adults across from him. What was that thing grown ups called it? Flirting? Was this flirting? Groooooss - even if it was another bit of proof that he was right in his deduction.
Eventually, the waitress returned and took their orders. Having more than a few minutes until their food would be brought back, Lou decided that there was no better time than now. “So, my sons,” he began, getting his kids’ attention. Draxum also made sure to sit up a bit straighter, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.
...Hoping for approval from kids under ten years old. Huh… What a strange turn his life had taken in just a few weeks.
Lou seemed to feel the same, fidgeting his hands slightly as he made sure his tone stayed calm. “There was a reason why we - er, Dr. Draxum and I - wanted us all to have brunch together, because there is something we wanted to tell you all. Ah, don't worry, it's nothing bad, though it's also okay if you aren't too sure about it or have questions, okay? We just want to be honest with you all.”
“Well, what is it?” Raph asked, voicing what he as well as Donnie and Mikey were thinking.
“Well… Dr. Draxum and I have decided to officially start dating.” Lou felt himself grin, still feeling the leftover excitement and happiness from the night before. “As of last night, he is my new boyfriend.”
“Yes,” Draxum stiffly nodded, figuring he should participate in this too, “We are dating and, and we hope that you are all alright with that.”
Raph began to speak when Leo let out a cheer. “YES! I knew it! I knew you guys were gonna say that!” The boy in blue exclaimed.
“What?! Nuh uh!” Donnie argued, “you couldn't have known!” At the same time, Mikey asked in awe, “How'd you know?”
“Cause I saw how Dad would give Dr. Draxum weird smiles, and he'd do the same to Dad,” Leo told them, “And I saw how they'd get all lovey dovey and do the weird-gross flirty thing too! So I just knew they were in love!”
Draxum held back a chuckle. As embarrassing as it was to have it all laid out in the open like that - and by a child, no less - there really was no denying it at this point. He had fallen in love, and had done it more quickly than he ever would he thought. Perhaps Lou just had that special something, or maybe it was just easy for him to drag people up to his speed. Either way, Draxum couldn't say he wasn't grateful for it. Not when the results were this surprisingly satisfying.
“...Hey, Dr. Draxum.” Brought out of his thoughts, Draxum directed his attention squarely on the boy in red. “How come you think we wouldn't be alright with you dating our dad?”
“Er, well-”
“Cause you're really cool-”
“And nice!” Mikey chimed in.
“And super smart,” Donnie smiled.
“And really tall with pretty hair,” Leo added.
“Yeah! So you seem like a good boyfriend to us!” Raph finished, nodding at the doctor in approval, “Just as long as you keep bein’ nice to our dad and don't make hurt his feelings or cheat or anything!” At this, all four boys put on a bit of a scowl, a silent (and unfortunately for them, sort of adorable) warning.
Still, even while being a bit shocked that kids so young apparently knew what cheating was, Draxum made sure to look serious as possible as he nodded back at them. “I promise to try and be the best boyfriend I can be to your father.” After he said this, he felt a hand grip his from under the table. Looking back at his date, he saw a much softer smile now.
“And I will promise the same thing,” Lou said simply. And that was all Draxum needed.
“...So, what made you wanna start dating Pop anyway?” Donnie asked, raising an eyebrow, “Wouldn't you wanna date someone as smart as you?”
Draxum quickly brought his other hand up to his mouth, trying to cover up his muffled laughter while Lou gave his middle child a bit of a look. “Geez, Donnie, you should be a bit nicer to your old man, don't you think?”
“I'm not trying to be mean!” Donnie argued, “I just thought it was kinda weird. Don't scientists date each other?”
“Maybe in the movies and comics,” Draxum told him, “Not so much in real life. But as for why I wanted to start dating your father, well… It's the same reason why I chose to keep in contact with him after meeting him at the museum: I enjoy his company, and I feel comfortable with him.”
“And I'm ‘less annoying than other people’, you can't forget that,” Lou quoted with a grin. Draxum nudged him with his elbow, and Lou nudged him right back.
“So, wait,” Leo said, grimacing as he began to realize the downside to being right, “if you're boyfriends, does that mean you guys gonna start making out all the time now?”
Draxum immediately blushed, which in turn caused Lou to laugh, too amused to be embarrassed. “No, we are not going to be making out all the time. We are however still going to kiss and hug sometimes, but we’ll try to do it when you kids aren't watching, okay?”
Leo still stuck out his tongue, “Grossss.” Lou just chuckled again, leaning over and ruffling the boy’s hair.
“How do they know what ‘making out’ and ‘cheating’ are?” Draxum whispered.
His boyfriend sighed slightly. “Let’s just say that Donatello is way too good at hacking the parental locks on the tv.”
Draxum shook his head, an amused smile returning to his face. Unbelievable… Yet completely fitting. As he spotted the waitress returning with their food, he felt himself relax. That had gone over pretty well, actually. The kids were okay with it, they answered all their questions, and there had only been maybe one or two awkward moments, and they were going to have a decent, hot meal to finish off the occasion. All in all, not bad.
His French toast was looking really good as well, topped with powdered sugar and brought with hot syrup. Everyone else quickly dug into their meals - with the exception of Mikey and Lou, with the latter helping the former cut his breakfast burrito up into a more manageable size for such tiny hands - so Draxum didn't hesitate to do the same. He cut off a piece, brought it to his mouth, and-
“Are you two gonna get married?”
Draxum sputtered, nearly choking on his bite but forcing himself to swallow. “W-Wha-?”
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lou sitting up a bit straighter, forcing a sheepish smile. “Ah, heh, Mikey, that's-”
“Oh yeah!” Raph said, nodding at his youngest brother, “Grown ups who date always get married.”
“Not always,” Donnie lightly argued as he poured syrup on his pancakes, “They also breakup sometimes.”
“But that counts as being mean, right?” Leo asked, “So if Dr, Draxum breaks up with Dad, are we allowed to beat ‘im up?”
“You boys will not be beating anyone up,” Lou said sternly, “And, ah, marriage is, well, i-it's a long way off. Very long way. We just want to enjoy dating each other for right now, understand?” The boys all sort of shrugged and nodded, accepting it more than understanding.
“Though, I will probably be around a bit more often to visit you all as well as, well, taking your father out on dates,” Draxum added, “Which means you all don't have to be so formal with me. I won't mind if you don't use my title or call me Benjamin or Ben instead.”
Mikey hummed, scooping up a forkful of burrito. “Nah, I'm gonna keep calling you Draxum.”
“It does sound cooler,” Leo commented, “Way cooler than just Ben.”
“Well, fair enough, I suppose,” Draxum told them, not minding the technical insult.
Thankfully there were no more surprise questions for the rest of their meal, even if the conversation itself was still primarily controlled by the children at the table. Donnie and Leo happily shared the books and comics they would be hoping to find at the library later that day, sparking a discussion for all three of them about their favorite books and stories. Granted most of Draxum’s favorites were a bit too high-concept for children, but he was happy to break them down for them, endeared by their comments and observations.
On the other side, Lou listened to his oldest and youngest sons tell him about the puppet show that would also be happening that day - both the good and bad things about it. (“Raphael, baby, I promise you that the puppets are not actually alive, nor are they evil, no matter what the older kids say.”) When Mikey decided to invite Draxum to come along with them to watch, Lou had to hold back a laugh when he saw the taller man’s face twist into a forced smile.
“As… fun as that sounds, Michael, I have a few errands I need to run before the day is over, so I don't think I’ll have the time.” He may have liked Lou’s kids, but he had his limits. “But I hope you and your brothers enjoy yourselves.”
“We will!” Mikey grinned, while Raph just slouched in his seat, looking much more unsure. Lou gave him another pat on the back.
Once the dishes were cleared away and Lou paid the bill, the six of them headed out to Lou’s car, with Draxum once again taking the extra step to walk him to it.
“Well, that went over pretty well, don't you think?” Lou asked, leaning on his gold painted vehicle, his kids already inside.
Draxum nodded. “Yes, I'd say it was the best reaction we could've hoped for.” He chuckled lightly before adding, “Though, I’ll have to keep your sons’ warning in mind.”
“Oh, I'm not worried.” Maybe they would last and maybe they wouldn't, but Lou had a feeling he didn't have to be concerned about his new lover cheating on him or doing anything else extremely hurtful. Although, there was one other thought in his mind… “But, ah, I'm sorry if any of the boys’ questions caught you off guard.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his smile a bit more sheepish. “Like… The whole marriage thing?”
Draxum stared at him for a moment, taking him in as he tried to wrap his head around the image of such a normally open and bold person actually looking somewhat bashful. He felt his own smile soften a bit. “While it may have surprised me a bit, yes, I supposed we should have expected it. It's only natural for a child to jump to things like that, after all. ...But, I think that you were more flustered by the idea than I was.”
Despite the heat returning to his face ever so slightly, the ex-star scoffed. “What, me? Nahhh, never!” Lou insisted. He might have gone on, if he hadn't noticed Draxum’s flat stare. “...Well, I mean, maybe a little. But, but not because the idea is unappealing or anything! I've got nothing against commitment, I can assure you I have been in exclusive relationships before-”
Lou cringed. Yeah, tell him about your past loves, that's JUST what your new love wants to hear! “I just, ah- we don't want to take things TOO fast, you know? We just started dating, for goodness sake! I may enjoy life in the fast lane sometimes but- Er, but like I said, I wouldn't mind getting married either. Totally cool with marriage! Definitely wouldn't mind if it was with you! That is, as long as you wanted to-” Wait, you guys literally got together YESTERDAY, are you seriously-? “N-Not that you have to decide that this very moment, that would be ridiculous! Heh…”
Lou held back a groan, feeling like he could slap himself as Draxum continued to stare at him, eyebrows raised. When it came to things like flirting and getting people on his good side, it felt like he could do know wrong, words and smiles flowing through him like air. But sometimes, when it was time for much more emotional and personal things - the more awkward things - it was like being shoved into a soundstage without a script! “Look, what I'm trying to say is-!”
*BEEEEEEEEP!*
Both men flinched at the loud horn, with Lou nearly crashing right into Draxum’s chest. “Daaaaad, are we gonna go yet?” a muffled voice from the car asked.
“I will be there in a moment, Leo, now please get back in your seat!” Sighing, he turned back to Draxum.
“So,” Draxum began, his gaze still soft and free of judgement despite everything, “what were you trying to say, Lou?”
“...I think, what I am trying to say… Is that I do not want to pressure you into anything, or push you into anything because… I don't want that either.” Even if Draxum was the first person he felt fairly serious about. Feeling a smile come onto his face, if only a little, made his thoughts come to him a bit more easily.
“You… You are a good man. Smart and interesting, fun and kind and-” And hot, so VERY handsome- “and, I want to just enjoy being in these moments with you, without really thinking of- without worrying about the future, because… Well, you're the first person that I've wanted to do that with in a long time. Not in a ‘this is a fling’ sort of way but, just in an ‘I enjoy being around you, and this feels good so let's just roll with it, a-and I also really don't want to lose this feeling or scare you off’ way, you know?”
“...Well, maybe not the fling thing but, yes, I do understand,” Draxum told him, taking a step as he kept the space between them close, “and, considering that you've kept me for this long… I think you and your kids would have to try a lot harder if you ever did want to scare me off.”
Lou grinned, taking his boyfriend’s hand. “Heh, I will keep that in mind…” Speaking of his kids, even without any more blasts from a car horn, he could hear them start to complain. Draxum could hear it too, and gave Lou a quick peck on the cheek before he needed to leave.
“Until our next appointment, doc?” Lou said, stepping back and putting his hand on the driver’s door handle.
“Are you going to keep using that line?”
“Sure am!” Draxum sighed, briefly wondering why he was agreeing to all of this again, and remembering only a second later as he watched Lou smile and cheer along with his kids as they finally left the parking lot…
He was nearly in bed when he heard from Lou again, only it wasn't a phone call but a text. Specifically, a text and a photo of a simple, fairly messy drawing of the two of them, holding hands and surrounded by a giant pink, glittery heart (as well as small, multi-colored hearts).
“Look what Mikey drew at the library arts and crafts table. I think he supports us - and he captured your likeness pretty well!”
Draxum scoffed despite his smirk as he texted back, “That boy of yours is too adorable for his own good.”
Lou’s reply came in only a couple seconds later. “I’ll let him know you liked it. ;)”
Draxum nodded at the screen. He expected to be bombarded with numerous similar looking drawings the next time he visited the Jitsu home, but it was just as well.
Taking a moment to save the picture to his phone, Draxum then set his alarm before getting into bed, a fairly relaxed and content expression on his face as he slipped into sleep.
((Splinter's awkward dad apology/speech at the end of 'Evil League of Mutants' is so sweet, he's trying his best, ya'll... Such a good rat dad... But yeah, that's pretty much where I got my inspiration for quite a bit of Lou's dialogue in this chapter, lol. Just another side of him I wanted to show. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed! ^v^))
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morinokunikara · 5 years
Text
Double Date Night
Read on AO3
Fandom: Persona 5
Ships: Shiann, Ryushima
Summary: Shiho, Ann, Yuuki, and Ryuji have a double date planned-but what do they do when Shiho’s still-recovering body has other plans for her?
Notes:  Okay there’s a lot of reasons I wrote this fic, but it can basically be boiled down to wanting some gay shit, and wanting people to appreciated Shiho and Yuuki and their potential for friendship more (though the latter ended up…not showing as much as I would have liked). Canon sucks, I’m the writer now, and I will not be stopped.
I have the fic posted here, but please give it a look on AO3 as well, and maybe leave kudos and/or comments! It’d mean a lot to me.
Months had passed since Shiho’s release from the hospital, and things were going rather well. Her biggest problems were she still had to go to physical therapy weekly, and couldn’t walk on her own most days. At the very least, she needed a cane, which didn’t bother her too much. The cane was cool, Ann helped her paint it, and she got compliments on it all the time. On worse days she needed crutches, a little less enjoyable but still tolerable. Then there were wheelchair days. Shiho hated wheelchair days. Lots of places were very inaccessible, and she always got looks, or people trying to help when she didn’t need it. If she had to use the wheelchair, she would rather not go out at all.  But overall, she made amazing progress in her recovery. Not just physically, but mentally.
She was never able to return to playing volleyball at her new school, even if she could have physically, but she found joy in watching her former teammates play and almost never missed a Shujin game. She always made sure to be the loudest, most excited fan she could be. She made more friends, and would hang out with those friends when she could. Yuuki became her closest friend. Neither of them really talked when they played together, but they found out they had so much in common from both being trans to having similar struggles in life, and their friendship just stuck. He even helped her with asking Ann out, in return for her helping him ask Ryuji out. The four of them actually had a double date planned, a fairly common occurrence for them. The plan for this one was a movie, shopping, and dinner. However, it seemed that Shiho’s body had other plans.
She woke up nearly paralyzed by pain, so much just pulling herself out of bed made her feel like she just ran 100 laps. Why today of all days? She sat back in bed and pulled out her phone to text Ann.
Shiho: Hey…I don’t think I’m going to be able to go out today.
Ann: Everything okay?
Shiho: Not really. I can barely move. I’d have to use the chair. I really don’t want to have to get around in it. Sorry. You three can still go without me.
Ann: I’ll let the guys know. I hope you feel better soon. <3
Shiho: <3
Ann sighed as she looked at the texts again. She hated having to see Shiho hurt so much. They were all looking so forward to today, too… Sure, Ann could just go with the Yuuki and Ryuji but that defeated the whole purpose of the day… She couldn’t just let their day be cut short like that. She had a plan. It wasn’t guaranteed to work, but it was worth a shot. She made a group chat for her and the guys and sent a text.
Ann: Shiho’s not doing well today. She cancelled our plans.
Ryuji: Damn. Pain again I’m guessing?
Ann: Yeah…
Yuuki: It feels wrong to go without her…should we just reschedule?
Ann: No, I have a plan. Meet me in the underground mall. Bring something fun to do.
Ryuji: Gotcha.
Yuuki: See you soon!
The three met up in the underground mall a little over an hour later, Yuuki with some puzzle books and board games, Ryuji with some video games and DVDs, and Ann with makeup, magazines, and flowers she just bought.
“So I guess the plan is we surprise Shiho with all of this?” Yuuki asked.
“Yep! I can’t say for sure if she’ll like it or not, but I want to try. I’d hate just leaving her out…” Ann’s voice faded a bit, but picked up as she smiled. “So we’re gonna bring the double date to her!”
“Hell yeah!” Ryuji cheered. “Let’s get going!” He started to run off, then stopped a few feet away. “Wait uh…where’s she live again?”
Ann sighed and shook her head. “You’re hopeless… Why did you run off if you don’t know? I’ll lead you guys there.”
There was a short train ride to the Suzui residence, during which the three excitedly talked about what they brought and their plans, and shared their hopes that Shiho would enjoy their day together. Before too long, they were in front of the house. Ann rang the doorbell, and an older woman, Shiho’s mother, answered the door. She smiled as soon as she saw the three.
“Oh, are you three here to see Shiho? She’ll be so happy…she’s in her room right now.” She welcomed the three in, they took off their shoes, and went over to Shiho’s room quietly.
Ann knocked gently on the door, and Shiho called back. “It’s open…” Her voice sounded rather gloomy and strained. It hurt all three of her guests to hear it. Still, they all three kept smiles on their faces as Ann opened the door.
“Surprise!” Ann said cheerfully. “Hope you don’t mind that we showed up.”
Shiho’s whole face lit up slowly when she saw the three. Her pained, grim expression turned into a wide smile, and small tears of joy formed in her eyes. “You three…I told Ann you could go on without me…”
“Well sure,” Ryuji said. “But it wouldn’t be much of a double date if half of one of the couples was gone, would it?”
“We all made sure to bring something to do.” Yuuki showed off the books and games he brought. “We want to make sure your day in is a fun one.“
"Thanks, guys…” Shiho sniffled.
Ann went over to the bed. “I got you these too,” She said as she placed the flowers on the end table and sat on the edge of the bed. “So what do you want to do? We have magazines, makeup, video games, movies, some puzzle books, board games…take your pick!”
Shiho thought for a second. “Oh! Let’s all do each other’s makeup!” She said excitedly.
“Ehhh, I think I’ll pass on that one,” Ryuji said. “That cutesy shit is more Yuuki’s thing.” He patted his boyfriend’s head, and got his hand swatted away in return.
“He’s terrible at makeup,” Yuuki added on. “He tried to do mine once and it was awful.”
“I didn’t even know what half that shit was!”
“It’s really not as hard as you’re acting like it is.”
“It is too! I don’t get how you keep up with all those brushes and colors and stuff…”
Shiho laughed softly at the little playful argument. “You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to.”
“Yeah!” Ann agreed. “You can judge our looks instead.”
“Fine…” Ryuji grumbled softly. “But I’m warning you, I don’t know what’s good or bad…”
“Yuuki, can I do yours?” Shiho asked.
“And I wanna do yours, Shiho!” Ann said excitedly.
“I can do Ann’s then.” Yuuki said. “I actually have a look that’ll be perfect for you.”
The three took turns doing each other’s makeup, each person’s unique style showing up in the look of the person that did their makeup. Yuuki ended up with a simple, more natural look, Shiho with a very trendy girly look with lots of pink, and Ann with a more showy dramatic look.  
“Alright, Ryuji. Who did best?” Ann asked with a confident grin. She was certain that she’d win.
Ryuji looked closely at the three, spending his time really studying each look and thinking long and hard about his decision. “Uh…they all look the same to me.” He finally said in defeat.
Ann and Yuuki both sighed. “They couldn’t be more different from each other!” Ann exclaimed.
Yuuki took a deep breath. “Ryuji…I say this with all the love I have in my heart…you are completely hopeless.”
Shiho laughed, a bit more than her previous laugh. “Okay, lay off him you two…let’s just call it a tie, okay? I think we all look amazing.”
“You’re way too nice to him, Shiho.” Ann said. “He’ll never learn if we lay off…but fine, if you insist.”
“How about instead, we let him pick what we do next!” Shiho smiled at Ryuji. “You brought some games right? How about we play something?”
“Hell yeah! I brought my full collection cause i wasn’t sure what you liked…” Ryuji brought a stack of games over to Shiho. “Go ahead, pick your favorite!”
Shiho looked at the games thoughtfully, and ultimately picked a co-op RPG they could play together with minimal competition. The four enjoyed their game together, to the point where Shiho’s mother had to come in and ask them to quiet down. They spent hours on the game, eventually coming to a stop when they realized how long it had been. “Wow…I usually don’t play that much,” Ann said with a soft laugh.
“Me either, I just got so caught up in working with everyone, I lost track of the time,” Shiho admitted.
“So…What’s next?” Yuuki asked. Before anyone could suggest their next activity, Shiho’s mother peeked in the room.
“Are you kids hungry? I’m making beef stew tonight!”
“Beef stew?!” Ryuji perked up excitedly. “I could go for some beef!”
“Where are your manners?!” Ann scolded. “Thank you, Mrs. Suzui. Food would be lovely. Do you need any help?”
Shiho’s mom shook her head. “No, no, I wouldn’t want to pull any of you away. I may need help bringing the food here, however. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
While dinner cooked, the four looked at some of Ann’s magazines. For all his griping about makeup, Ryuji was actually quite invested in the fashion (or maybe just the models) and was eager to point out some of his favorite looks, or outfits he thought would look good on others (mostly Yuuki, of course). Once Shiho’s mom called that dinner was ready, Ann went to the kitchen to help her carry the bowls into Shiho’s room. The four all sat and chatted about school, sports, and their other friends while they ate. Once they finished, Ann brought the bowls back to the kitchen, and the four spent some time playing some of the card games that Yuuki and brought.
“And a perfect match~!” Ann cheered, showing off her cards. “I win again!” She sung.
“Man, this is getting boring,” Ryuji whined. “How do you keep winning? You have to be cheating.”
“Or I’m just luckier than you,” Ann said, sticking her tongue out.
“I’m just not getting any matches!” Ryuji griped as he threw down his cards.
“Uh…Ryuji…sweetheart…” Yuuki looked over the cards on the ground. “You have 3 matches here.”
The others looked and sure enough, there were 3 matches scattered across Ryuji’s cards. “Wha…I…Damnit! It’s hard to tell when they’re all scattered like that!” Ryuji’s voice grew even more frustrated than it was over losing.
“You know if you sort them as you get them, that wouldn’t be a problem,” Shiho said. “That’s what I do.”
Ryuji looked at her in shock, completely dumbfounded by the fact that he hadn’t ever thought of that before. “That’s freakin’ genius!”
The four of them spent the rest of the night playing card games and board games, at some point also playing some movies and anime in the background. Before long, it was late into the night.
“We should probably get going,” Yuuki said, slowly rising to his feet. “Wouldn’t want to miss the train home.”
Ann got up and stretched. “I was actually going to stay the night if that’s okay with Shiho.”
“I can’t,” Ryuji said. “Gotta help my mom with chores tomorrow.”
“And I promised my sister we could play some games tonight,” Yuuki added on.
“Well, you two head back then. We don’t need you boys anyways,” Ann teased.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ryuji grumbled before turning to Shiho. “Hope today helped you a bit.”
“Of course it did,” Shiho replied with a bright smile. She opened her arms for a hug. “Come over here.” Ryuji and Yuuki both accepted hugs before heading out and going home.
Once the boys were gone, Ann and Shiho spent the night cuddled up together talking for hours until they got tired.
“Hey Ann?” Shiho said softly as the two began to drift off. “Thanks for this.”
“Hey, it was the guys too,” Ann pointed out.  “I can’t take all the credit.”
“But it was your idea, wasn’t it?”
“I mean yeah…but still, we all did our part because we wanted to see you happy.”
“I know you do…”
“I was kind of worried you might be mad to be honest. Like maybe we were being too intrusive or something.”
“Not at all! I’m…” Shiho found herself a bit choked up, but tried to fight back the tears. “I’m glad you all care so much. I felt so useless today but…you all made it a lot better.”
Ann smiled and kissed Shiho’s forehead. “I’m glad. That’s all I want to do for you, ever.”
“I love you so much, Ann. I don’t think I could ever thank you enough.”
“I love you too. Now let’s get some sleep, okay?”
The two fell asleep peacefully in each other’s arms, both so, so thankful for each other and all their friends
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