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onceuponapuffin · 3 months

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Fanatic Intervention Part 18!!!!!!

I haven't been able to write for a week and it made me all squirrely.

Alright so the vote was for a weird roadside attraction, and I got THE MOST AMAZING recommendation. Just as a reminder, I do take requests for this fic :) This particular attraction was suggested to me by @hummingbee-lievable and I mean, I just couldn't say no. You'll understand why when we get there.

Here are some links to the music mentioned, in case you haven't ever heard it and want to :)

Vivaldi's Four Seasons

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture

Let's do this.

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*************************************

Approximately 8 hours.

That’s how long you’d been driving for.

Aside from a couple bathroom breaks, and a quick trip through a fast food drive through (Aziraphale complained until you managed to persuade him to try french fries and a chocolate shake – suddenly he became positively fascinated, much less whiny, and much more fun to be stuck in a car with), the five of you have basically been on the road non-stop. You’ve all run out of things to talk about, the playlist has been shuffled and reshuffled often enough that you’re becoming able to tell the difference between the different concertos and symphonies that Aziraphale added. The SUV, roomy as it is, is becoming stuffy, and frankly you’re starting to feel sore in places that are going to make the next 20 hours of this...difficult to say the least.

“Okay,” You say, breaking the silence, “Honestly, I get that we’re on a bit of a time crunch, but if we don’t stop for a real break soon, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“What,” snorts Crowley from the driver’s seat, “You mean you’ve had it this whole time? I am shocked.”

You stick your tongue out at him, and lean over into Sardis’ space to make sure Crowley can see it in the rearview mirror.

“Now, now,” Aziraphale says soothingly – he doesn’t fool you, you can see him smirking, “I’m very certain we can find a suitable place to rest for an hour. Some fresh air would probably do us all some good.”

Oh, so he’s getting restless too. Good to know you have Aziraphale on your side with this one. Sardis is already tapping around on his phone, and you glance over to see him googling the area. Thank someone. Anathema has her nose in a book, but gives a thumbs up to show that she agrees with the idea. So it’s basically unanimous. Sardis very quietly taps you and discreetly shows you his phone screen. You look over, figuring he must have found something and….oh.

OH BOY DID HE EVER.

It takes actual work to play it cool. If you don’t do this very carefully, you won’t get to see this glory in person. You nod at Sardis, who winks in return. The plan is set.

“I’ve found an art museum nearby,” he says. You can see Aziraphale’s face light up.

“Oh! That sounds lovely! Perhaps they have a cafe!”

“And maybe a gift shop!” You add hopefully. Best to sell this hard.

Crowley sighs. “Yeah fine, whatever. Just give me directions, would you?”

“Sure thing,” Sardis replies.

To cover your bases, you take you phone, and turn on Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. Aziraphale, utterly delighted by the turn of events, begins humming and conducting the non-existent orchestra. He loses himself to the music relatively quickly. Between that, Anathema in her book, and Sardis feeding Crowley directions one at a time, you’re off to the races.

As you get closer, you start to see signs advertising it. Crowley snorts once or twice, but doesn’t seem any the wiser as Sardis directs him. It isn’t until you pull into The Truck Yard that you can see his eyebrow raising in the mirror. And it isn’t until Sardis instructs him to park in front of the building that it seems to click. Aziraphale doesn’t notice until you turn off the music.

“We’re here!” You sing triumphantly.

“Are you serious?” Crowley asks.

“Oh most definitely,” You reply. Then the demon starts to laugh, and kicks open the door with a snort.

“Right, okay, come on then!”

Aziraphale hasn’t moved.

“Perhaps I’ll stay here,” he says.

“NOPE!” Crowley calls, crouching to look at Aziraphale through the driver’s door, “You wanted an art museum, angel, you’ve got one!”

Aziraphale groans and gets out of the car. He leans heavily upon the door as he closes it. “Yes,” he said, “But I hardly think this counts as art!”

“Think of it as modern art, angel!”

“...All the more reason for me to stick to the traditional sort.”

“As long as it doesn’t stick to the bottom of your shoe, am I right?” You say, because you just have to join in. Sardis laughs and Crowley snorts, and the three of you lead the way into Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum. Aziraphale and Anathema follow behind, pretending not to know you. You spin around and walk backwards so that you can watch the two of them as they approach the door of the building, which features Roman-style pillars built out of toilets. Aziraphale glances at them with a sigh, but Anathema raises and eyebrow and goes in for a closer look.

“Huh,” she says, clearly impressed, “Actually, that’s really clever.”

“Ugh,” says Aziraphale, clearly unimpressed, “Vulgar is what it is.”

You enter the building, and find floor-to-ceiling toilet seats. They cover every inch of wall, an absolute punch to the eyes, and yes, it is beautiful. It is glorious. You let out a low whistle.

“Look at you,” You recite, because any opportunity to quote the show is one that should be taken, “You’re gorgeous.” You notice both Aziraphale and Crowley glance in your direction briefly, but you don’t elaborate, so they both look away while you take the opportunity to notice the tiniest of blushes between them. Ha. Softies, the both of them.

“It really is,” Sardis replies, oblivious, “I’d call it downright glorious.”

You look up, and then run back over to nudge Aziraphale. “Hey, Aziraphale, look at that!” You point upwards. “There’s some more traditional art for you!”

He follows your gaze, but is, as you predicted, still disgruntled. “Is that...Michelangelo??” Painted upon the high ceiling is a recreation of Michelangelo’s painting The Creation of Adam. However, this particular adaptation features a closeup of the hands – with God handing Adam a roll of toilet paper.

You hear Crowley snort. He comes over to you and Aziraphale just so he can say to you “Most useful she’s ever been, eh?”

“CROWLEY!” Aziraphale exclaims in disgust.

“Demon,” he replies with a smirk, and saunters away. With a giggle, you follow him to where Sardis is standing.

“Hey, Witch!” Sardis calls, “Here’s one for you! It’s all about Astrology!” He looks over his shoulder, and you follow his gaze to where Anathema has started looking at the seats with curiosity.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” she responds. You see her lean in for a closer inspection of the piece in front of her.

“You are really good at this road trip stuff,” You say as you turn back to Sardis. “Did you spend a lot of time on the road with your siblings?”

“Nah, but there were a few dinners where someone had to calm things down.”

“I can imagine.” You go quiet for a while before something occurs to you. “You know, you barely know us, and you’re a lot more...open about things that I would expect, well, anyone really, to be.”

Sardis shrugs. “Well who am I going to share with? Philly was the only one I still talked to.”

You think about your first impressions of Sardis. Someone who likes to play games, someone who takes things half-seriously, but would probably monologue if you let him. Oh. He’s lonely.

“I want to trust you Sardis,” You say after a minute, “I just...I’ve been disappointed by enough people in the past that I’m still trying to decide if I can.”

He nods. “No hard feelings, Moth. Trust is a hard thing, and it takes time. So by all means take yours. Just do me a favour and put up with me in the meantime, eh? I haven’t met many humans willing to trick both an angel and a demon into visiting a toilet seat art museum with me.” He winks at you, and you can’t help but smile back.

“Oi!” Crowley announces, “Angel! Come look! This one’ll perk you up! It’s got sheet music on it*! Get it?? SHEET MUSIC!”

You and Sardis both burst out laughing, and you wander over to see this masterpiece. Anathema is coming too, and she’s also giggling even though you can tell she’s trying not to. Even Aziraphale has cracked a smile despite himself.

“Really, Crowley,” he says with a shake of his head. The angel sighs. “Right, let’s see then.” Aziraphale pulls his tiny glasses out of his pocket and puts them on his nose. Then he leans in to inspect the classical music that has been collaged onto the toilet seat, plastered beneath the title “Cannon Ball.” He hums to himself as he inspects the notes, and after a moment he starts to conduct to himself. Sardis has come and joined in, so now the full group is watching Aziraphale in anticipation – waiting for his verdict. After a minute or two, Aziraphale leans back, takes the glasses off, and polishes them with a cloth from his pocket. “It appears to be an excerpt from Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. Specifically the bridge, which is famously known for including cannons as a musical instrument.” He glances up at you all sideways, the tiniest of Michael-Sheenian smirks upon his lips. “It is indeed, sheet music.”

No one is able to contain their laughter, not even Aziraphale.

By the time all of you head back to the car, everyone is in much better spirits. Aziraphale admits that it was a good idea to stop here after all, even if it still isn’t his idea of art. Overall, the car feels much lighter and happier than it had a few hours ago, so you bask in it. Even after the toilet jokes fade away, the mood stays. For the first time since New York, things feel light and the challenges ahead of you feel manageable.

Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the toilet seat.

And no, I will not apologize for that line.

* My Dear Reader, I need to pull you away for a minute to quickly tell you that I have never been to this incredible museum, so I have no idea if this particular piece actually exists. But I had to, you understand. I just HAD to.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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boysplanetrecaps · 1 year

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Boys Planet Episode 9: Master Post and General Episode Recap

Hey, fellow Star Creator!

It’s time to talk about Episode 9!

This post is actually just going to be a master post for the episode, in which I cover:

The great reshuffling of the teams

The beginning of the show (fans outside, returning trainees, etc)

The field day

The visit with the parents

An overview of what’s going on with the teams

I’m going to cover the five teams’ rehearsals and performances in separate posts, which means that Supercharger and En Garde will be ready soon, while the other three teams will be covered later.

So, let’s go!

If you want to skip the preview and whatnot, the episode actually starts at 2:37.

We start the episode at the end of the previous elimination ceremony, watching the boys hug and cry and say goodbye to each other. We see a few of the boys sobbing disconsolately, including Brian and Lee Yedam. It’s pretty heartbreaking.

Later, the surviving boys go back to their dorms and talk. They seem to be gathering in little bunches for comfort. Kim Tae Rae is sitting with Lee Jung Hyeon -- they’re both WakeOne trainees and came to the show together, along with Lee’s good friend, Mun Jung Hyeon, who was just eliminated. TaeRae is telling his younger friend Lee to keep going and keep trying on Mun’s behalf.

In another room, Kim Guyvin says that he wants to win first place in something so that he can “call the names of the eliminated trainees one more time.” That’s sweet and everything but it sounds like he’s in the Hunger Games. I am kind of worried about Gyuvin -- he was so confident when he arrived and the judges seem to have beaten him down to pulp. He’s always so bummed out and nervous now. I want to see that confident mop-headed kid again. You’re still in there, right Gyuvin-ah?

That’s my little cousin Kum Jun Hyeon in the bed on the left, and the one curled up in the corner is Lee Seunghwan, based on his pajamas, which we saw in the Ggang segment, but I can’t see the others clearly enough to recognize them. The sign over the middle bed says something like “one chicken per person.”

But then… in the next scene, it’s a bright and cheery new day! All the sadness is gone completely!

3:48 The Great Re-shuffling Begins

So, it’s time for THE GREAT RESHUFFLING. Some teams were left with too many trainees, and some teams were left with too few, and now some teams will have to kick some of their own members out, a process that’s so stressful that people actually feel kind of sorry for the team whose entire contingent of ten survived.

The stakes are pretty high here. There are at this point only three or four days before the actual performance. Changing to a new song at this point could be disastrous for anyone who is slow to learn choreography or lyrics. Also, the song with the most open spaces is Supercharger, which is not only a terrible song,* but also features choreography so difficult that even Haruto had trouble with it after many days of working on it. Anyone who gets kicked out of their team has approximately a and you have a decent chance of being stuck with Supercharger.

*So, I ran a poll on the topic of the song Supercharger, asking people if they liked it or not. A lot of people said they genuinely liked it, so… I guess I stand corrected. For me, just the fact that it got stuck in my head doesn’t mean that I like it.Being sticky isn’t the same thing as being good. I mean, I’ve had honey get stuck in my hair. That doesn’t mean I want it there. But yeah if you like Supercharger, that’s cool -- you do you, boo. I like Danger by Wooah and Firetruck by NCT and Obsession by Exo and Wing Wing by Kepler and a bunch of other weird songs, so I get it. People should like what they like! I’m still not adding Supercharger to my playlist, but I understand why maybe someone else would.

Anyway, so here’s our team status report:

Team En Garde, wearing light pink, have 7 members remaining and need to lose 1.

Currently on the team: Kim Gyu Vin, General Park Gunwook, my little cousin Kum Jun Hyeon, Hui, the formerly blue haired Park Hanbin, that peach Lee Seung Hwan 🍑, and Hiroto.

Members who have gone home: Lee Yedam, Oh Sungmin, Ji Yunseo

Team Over Me, wearing white, have 8 members and need to lose 3.

Currently on the team: Chen Kuan Jui, Jay, Keita, Lee Jeong Hyeon, Ricky, Wang Zi Hao, Yoon Jong Woo, Zhang Hao

Members who have gone home: Lim Jun Seo, Ma Jing Xiang

Team Say My Name, wearing black, have 10 members and need to lose 5

Currently on the team: Cha Woong Ki, Han Yu Jin, Kim Ji Woong, Kim Tae Rae, Ollie, Seo Won, Seok Matthew, Sung Hanbin, Takuto, Yoo Seung Eon

Team Supercharger, wearing purple, is down to just Haruto from the 11 members it used to have. The team needs five more members.

Members who have gone home: Bak Do Ha, Chen Jian Yu, Cong, Jung Min Gyu, Lee Da Eul, Lee Dong Yeol, Mun Jung Hyun, Park Hyunbeen, Park Ji Hoo

Side note: For this scene, MNET uses piano music that is so over the top dramatic sounding that it would be appropriate for a story about a family losing everything they owned in a house fire. Because it’s so over the top, a viewer will probably subconsciously disconnect with the very real and reasonable pain and anxiety Haruto is feeling right now. Nice work, MNET!

Team Switch is just Na Kamden and Z-Bo, kind of sitting there looking uncomfortable. The team needs 4 more members.

Members who have gone home: Anthonny, Brian, Cai Jin Xin, Choi Woo Jin, Dang Hong Hai, Jung I Chan, Krystian, Lee Dong Gun, Wumuti, and Zhang Shuai Bo

The teams aren’t totally sure how they will be reshuffled because it has worked in different ways in different seasons. The leader of team Over Me, the comeback kid Yoon Jong Woo, suggests voting. Woongki on Say My Name is worried that it might just immediately be decided by ranking, which, ha ha, it kind of will be! And everyone is slightly worried that the surviving members of Supercharger and Switch will get to come steal the people they want.

And in to En Garde’s rehearsal room comes Haruto with big glasses and a clipboard. I love this guy.

I love how Kamden and Z-Bo can’t quite keep up with Haruto’s complete commitment to his bit. Good stuff. So yeah, Haruto manages to almost convince the teams that he and Kamden and Z-Bo get to steal whoever they want from the other teams and make them join Supercharger or Switch. Of course, they can’t. They can make their sales pitch, however, and they do, trying to poach some of the higher ranked team members with promises of big parts like main vocal or the Killing Part. Haruto will peel off that Killing Part sticker right now and slam it right on your solar plexus if you will just join him in Supercharger, assuming you are Park Gunwook.

So En Garde has to figure out who to eliminate. The team is really strong, and its members survived in a convenient distribution, with one person per part, except for the Killing Part and Main Rapper.

Looking at the roster, I theorize that the team would have voted out Hiroto (who is not only the lowest ranked on the team but by total unrelated coincidence the only non-Korean member of the team) and then made one of Gunwook or Gyuvin the main rapper, and then given the other one the Killing Part + Sub Rapper 1.

But that’s all theoretical. Looking at the part distribution gives us a hint as to what really happens, because Park Hanbin, who won top spot in Law, who led both his teams to victory, who was given All Star ranking both times, THAT Park Hanbin, is currently subvocal 3 with 10 seconds of center time?

Um, no.

Park Hanbin tells his team that he has decided to just walk away and join team Switch.

Naturally, Kamden and Z-Bo are delighted to have him join their team. I think team En Garde is just glad that they don’t have to vote someone out.

You guys, the story is going to get even better but we’ll get there.

Next, the recruiting teams go to Over Me and pull the same stunt with their clipboards and self-assurance. Kamden makes a passionate play to try to recruit his friend Jay, offering him the main vocal part. It’s like, 10% cringey, but I don’t mind too much.

So, after Hiroto and co. leave, the Over Me team talks about it. No one wants to leave, so they have to vote to decide who will be kicked out. Each of them makes an argument for why they should stay, and Yoon Jong Woo’s mini speech is about how he’s poured himself into this, deciding on costuming, choreography, etc. Hmm.

Here’s the team as it stood, with their rankings -- those with the Killing Part are marked with a *:

*Zhang Hao 2

*Keita 8

Jay 12

Ricky 14

L - Yoon Jong Woo 15

Wang Zi Hao 19

Chen Kuan Jui 22

Lee Jeong Hyeon 24

They vote for the teammates they want to keep, and Haruto and co. wait in the hallway to see who will be kicked out.

The first to walk out is the smiliest man on earth, 😁Wang Zi Hao😁. Haruto is so happy to him, because if anyone in this whole show can handle Supercharger, it’s 😁WZH😁.

Everyone is shocked to see Keita when he comes out of the rehearsal room, but I really can’t tell if Keita is surprised or not. He’s smiling in a way that is hard to interpret. Last to emerge is Yoon Jong Woo, who is clearly so shocked and angry at the betrayal that for now all he can do is smile.

I have theories on how each of them ended up getting kicked out, because it obviously wasn’t just ranking. Shall we walk together for a while? We shall! Here we go.

My theories on all this:

First off, Zhang Hao wasn’t going to get kicked out -- he’s Zhang Hao. Jay’s voice is super well suited to this song and they need him. Ricky is well suited to the vibe of the song, as well. Chen Kuan Jui is a fantastic dancer who can dance in this style, and also, he’s really good friends with Zhang Hao.

As for why they kept Lee Junghyeon, my theory is that it was in part because he’s their maknae and they care about him, in part because he wrote that rap for the song already and they feel like he has to do it, but mostly because even though he’s good during the performances and won’t ruin anything, he isn’t a threat to steal votes from them.

So in some ways, those who got kicked out are just those who weren’t those five. But I think there were a few other factors in play.

I went back and rewatched the bits of the team interacting from Episode 8, and I noticed that when they circled up for a group convo, Wang Zi Hao ended up sort of on the outside, and they didn’t open the circle for him.

Also, look at them sitting in the producer’s office, also from Episode 8:

Left to right: Wang Zi Hao, MJX, Lee Junghyeon, Ricky, CKJ, Zhang Hao, Jay, Lim Jun Seo, Keita, Yoon Jong Woo

I don’t know what order they sat down on the couch, but look at how cozy Hao is with Jay and CKJ. Look at Yoon Jong Woo inexplicably taking up too much space on the couch so that Lim JunSeo has no room to move his elbows? Does JongWoo not notice or not care? Why doesn’t JunSeo say something? And look at Wang Zi Hao sitting politely to the side, just completely separate. So much to unpack…

You guys? I think they voted out Wang Zi Hao because they’re not friends with him. It’s just that simple. I’m sure he could dance in this style, and we heard him singing in the previous episode and he can actually sing just fine. They don’t dislike him, I mean who would dislike him? -- but he’s not their friend.

Now, Keita. It’s my belief that they voted out Keita because he’s a fucking THREAT. Plus, I don’t get the feeling he’s really their friend, either.

Consider, in episode 8, when they were voting for the Killing Part. Keita, being honorable, voted for Zhang Hao for the killing part. Who did Hao vote for? Chen Kuan Jui. Come on. We all love CKJ, but in what world is he better at a killing part than Keita? I really believe that Hao is smart and strategic enough that he voted for CKJ not because he thought CKJ should get it, but rather to waste his vote and make it less likely that Keita would get it. And it worked, in that Keita ended up coming in second in the vote.

And, now that they’ve both survived, Zhang Hao must be worried he might lose the Killing Part after all. So. Remember how Zhang Hao and Ricky are friends from the same agency (Yuehua)? They’re likely to team up. We’ve also seen how much Zhang Hao and CKJ get along -- they’re really good friends. It wouldn’t have shocked me if Hao, CKJ, and Ricky got together the night before and agreed to vote for each other to stay, and to make sure that Keita was out. They might even have gotten Jay in on it.

I actually think that Keita didn’t see this coming. He’s really smart, and he must have known it was possible, but I think that maybe he isn’t as good at social engineering as he is good at literally everything else. He strikes me as a direct and honest kind of person, so maybe it never occurred to him that his team would do this to him because he himself would never try to vote out the best teammates. He’s friendly and always appreciates how good everyone else is. Yet you rarely see anyone hugging him, you know? I think everyone likes him, but not a lot of people are close friends with him. So he’s not in the cool kids clique, and when push comes to shove, he gets the shove.

So what happened to Yoon Jong Woo? Well. I have a lot of answers to that.

First and foremost, I think he was a threat too. I think he really really suits the style of this song, and he’s a great dancer, and I think he would have been great at this. He might have even won the vote on D-Day. They weren’t going to risk that. Plus, he keeps climbing up the charts. They don’t want him climbing up into top 9! Tossing him out and having him risk landing in Supercharger is a sure way to sabotage him and keep him out of the Top9 so there is more room for Ricky.

Also, I think -- and this is wild speculation on my part but -- I think they were getting sick of him. I really do. I think that Jongwoo’s aggressive attitude toward MJX made the rehearsal room a little unpleasant to be in, and I think stress has made him a little anxious and sharp. His little speech about how he was contributing so much to the song was designed to make them want to keep him, but maybe it reminded them that he’s doing too much (in their opinion)? Something like that…

So yeah, those are my thoughts on what happened with that team!

Anyway.

Back to the reshuffling!

Next, Haruto and co. go see team Say My Name and again, they make their pitches. Here are the ten Say My Name trainees, along with their episode 8 ranks:

Sung Hanbin 1

Han Yu Jin 3

Seok Matthew 4

Kim Ji Woong 5

Kim Tae Rae 7

Yoo Seung Eon 17

Seo Won 18

Takuto 25

Cha Woong Ki 26

Ollie 27

The only one who seems interested in the sales pitch is Matthew, who listens to Switch to see if he likes it, but then also jokes that his name is Seok Woohyun (that’s his Korean name, apparently) and that he doesn’t know who Matthew is. So no Switch-switch there.

However, as we find out, Kim TaeRae does in fact want to switch to Switch, saying: “I think this team [Say My Name] has a lot of members who can do a better job than me. In order to show my strength more, it might make more sense for me to join them.” His choice is quite interesting and I will get to it in a bit. It’s not clear how he ends up on Switch as opposed to Supercharger, but maybe since presumably all five trainees wanted Switch, the Switch team was allowed to pick the trainee they wanted. Or maybe because TaeRae was was ranked the highest, or because he volunteered to leave, he was allowed to choose.

The other four SMN teammates who get kicked out are coincidentally the four lowest ranked, Takuto, Ollie, Seo Won, and Woongki. I’m sure you’ve noticed that they are the four cutest on the team, so it could also be theorized that they were kicked out for being a threat, but I don’t think that Takuto was a threat.

I actually think that Takuto and Ollie in particular were kicked out because they’re so young looking. I know that Ollie is older than Han Yujin, but even so, and even though he’s so tall, he comes across as younger. Knowing as I do now that the team is going to go for a “high teen” concept, you can’t have actual teenaged looking people on the team or they’ll make Sung Hanbin look old (he’s not, but he looks older than his age [21], in my opinion).

If you watched Girls Planet 999, you might remember this performance of Yes or Yes, with the 25 year old Wen Zhe and the like, 15 year old Kim Sein. This is also a high teen concept, and having little Sein there made Wen Zhe look like a 35 year old, which in kpop is the same as being an actual brontosaurus. It made the whole team feel out of balance, too.

So yeah, it made sense for the Say My Name team to kick the "little kids" out.

As for Seo Won and Woongki, I really think it was mostly that they’re low ranked. I don’t think that the team viewed them as a threat either, because they’re low ranked and don’t stand a chance at winning the vote compared to them. I mean, Woongki couldn’t win the vote against Z-Bo in Feel Special, you know? I love Seo Won and Woongki too, and think that after the show they will probably have tons of offers to be on reality shows and stuff, because they’re lovable AF! But I still don’t think their teammates viewed them as a threat.

In any case, all four of them end up on Supercharger, much to their intense chagrin.

Ollie is being sort of comical about his distress, but he also kind of means it. It’s cute to see his friendship with Haruto, but it also makes sense. Haruto is completely fluent in English, as we see in this episode, and Ollie seems to speak English possibly as a first language, so it makes sense that these two friendly, English speaking dancers would have gotten close. In any case, this team is going to have a tough time, as we’ll soon see.

Ok, so here is a final list of the trainees and their songs they ended up in. I include the song they originally had if they switched. Incidentally, everyone originally had the song they asked the audience for, except for Lee Seunghwan, who originally wanted Say My Name but ended up in En Garde.

En Garde:

Kim Gyu Vin

Park Gunwook

Kum Jun Hyeon

Hui

Lee Seung Hwan

Hiroto

Over Me:

Zhang Hao

Jay

Ricky

Chen Kuan Jui

Lee Jeong Hyeon

Say My Name:

Sung Hanbin

Han Yu Jin

Seok Matthew

Kim Ji Woong

Yoo Seung Eon

Supercharger: first team

Wang Zi Hao Over Me

Seo Won Say My Name

Takuto Say My Name

Cha Woong Ki Say My Name

Ollie Say My Name

Haruto Supercharger

Switch: first team

Park Hanbin En Garde

Keita Over Me

Yoon Jong Woo Over Me

Kim Tae Rae Say My Name

Na Kamden Switch

Zhang Shuai Bo Switch

Or, if you prefer an infographic:

And thus ends… t h e g r e a t r e s h u f f l i n g.

Then from 17:10 to 17:40 it’s just a preview of the performances, so you can skip that if you want.

After that, we visit each of the five teams for 4-8 minutes each, to see how their rehearsals are getting started.

Supercharger (average rank: 21.8)

At 17:40, we visit team Supercharger for almost six minutes.

The gist of what’s going on is that they’re super discouraged, since most of them don’t feel like they’re a good fit for the song. They’re also worried about learning new and incredibly difficult choreography, and they’re sad that they got kicked out of the group they’d been in, especially Woongki, who had a ton of ideas for Say My Name.

For a more in-depth review of their rehearsal and performance, click here.

Say My Name (average rank: 6)

At 23:30, we endure the gut-churningly uncomfortable atmosphere at team Say My Name for a solid eight minutes.

The gist of the situation is that Matthew wants to have a big part and makes everyone feel bad when he is given a smaller part, even though (a) it’s not a tiny part and (b) it suits his voice so much better than the original part that it actually is a benefit to him as well. I know some people think this is “evil editing.” But this is stuff he’s actually doing, and if anything the show seems to be on his side, as far as I can tell.

It’s ok if you still like him -- in fact, good for you for showing such grace and kindness to him! We all deserve kindness when possible. And his negative behavior is a consequence of an extremely stressful environment, and doesn’t mean that he’s a “bad person.” I am not saying that Matthew can never be forgiven or that I hate him. But I am saying that he’s being immature, entitled, oblivious, and just an enormous pain in the butt right now.

I’ll talk about this a lot more when I post my in-depth review of their rehearsal(s) and performance. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to click here. (It’ll be posted when Ep 10 is up.)

Switch (average rank: 14.5)

At 31:45, we visit with team Switch for four whole minutes!

The gist of what’s going is that Park Hanbin has already learned the choreography to the song, because he pretty much planned all along to switch to Switch. This shit is amazing. He ends up with the killing part, because that’s how good he is at the choreo already. Kim Tae Rae, who has switched here from Say My Name, ends up with the main vocal, so a win for him as well. He also ends up having a bit of trouble with the choreo in the very first lesson, which is hardly surprising in any way. He’s a main vocal, folks. And…?

I’ll talk about all of this a lot more when I post my in-depth review of their rehearsal(s) and performance. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to click here. (It’ll be posted when Ep 10 is up.) But I’ll tell you right now that I’m super excited for this performance!

En Garde (Ave rank: 14.2, but without Hiroto would be 11.4)

At 35:50, we visit team En Garde, and spend about 7.5 minutes with them, most of which are unnecessary.

The gist of what’s going on is that they need to pick who will get to keep the killing part, and they choose Gunwook over Gyuvin. Then later on they prank Gunwook and tell him that they’re taking the killing part away and he’s actually pretty nice and mature about it, and then they reveal that it was a prank.

Then Hui says something interesting. “I worried if things were going too well.” Why would you worry about that, Hui? Hmmm…

I’ll talk about this a bit more when I post my in-depth review of their rehearsal(s) and performance. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to click here. (It’ll be posted when Ep 10 is up.)

Over Me (Ave rank: 14.8)

At 43:13, we visit with team Over Me for about 4.5 minutes. The gist of their situation is that they’re trying to shake off the guilt of having gotten rid of Yoon Jongwoo, and they do just that by electing Zhang Hao their new leader and re-distributing the parts. Jay is confirmed as main vocal, and Hao get the killing part. Again, we don’t see them rehearse at all.

I’ll talk about all this a bit more when I post my in-depth review of their rehearsal(s) and performance. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to click here. (It’ll be posted when Ep 10 is up.)

Time passes, and now it’s…

Showtime (47:50)

Fans are waiting outside the studio, holding up signs, excited for the show. There’s a sign that just says “Yujin” and one that says “Park Hanbin” in Hangul and then in English “PHANBIN”.

I know most of you can’t read Korean so here’s a few screenshots with translations of whatever I was able to read:

By the way, I’m doing my last editing pass on this and I just noticed that that light blue rectangle that says “Lee Sunghwan” in the top image should be in the middle of the bottom image, over that light blue sign in the middle. Don’t know what happened there. Sorry. Oh, and the red and black sign says Keita I think.

There are signs for Kim Gyubin, Ollie, Lee Sunghwan, Zhang Hao, Kim Tae Rae, and tons of other trainees. There are Na Kamden signs in English, Keita signs in Japanese, and look, it’s Haruto’s mom with a group of Haruto’s fans! Aww, she looks so much like him! (That’s his dad in the back, with the tinted glasses.)

As the fans go inside, we spot some of the eliminated trainees, here to see the show and perform in it, too.

In the top photo, that’s Wumuti waving, then Choi Woojin in the dark jacket, then Lee Hwanhee partly hidden by Jung Mingyu (who is wearing a white shirt). I can’t quite place the guy in the blue and white shirt or the guy in the middle with the reddish hair. 🙁 In the bottom photo, that’s Hwanhee, Brian, Ji YunSeo, Wumuti, and the guy in the blue and white shirt again. If you know who he is, or who the guy with the reddish hair is, let me know! I feel bad that I don’t recognize them.

Mingyu says that they will get to show off the performance they’ve been practicing, which is nice! From what I’ve heard there are lots of long pauses in these performance stages while the show is filming reactions and stuff back stage, so while they’re doing that, management could let these guys perform to entertain the audience. It’s win/win!

So, then the teams start entering. Switch team is super brightly colored. I’ll have to see what it looks like when they’re in motion -- I mean, Exo’s Obsession outfits were a LOT but they worked on stage.

Then Team En Garde comes out, in military-esque leather outfits that aren’t thrilling me, but I reserve judgment. Supercharger jumps up and down with the audience, who seem happy to see them. And then the Say My Name team come out in a “cool school boys after school” look -- a style they call “high teen” in Kpop land. It’s designed to be immediately loveable to the majority of the age groups and sexual preferences of the audience. Finally, Over Me comes out, and Chen Kuan Jui sees something in the audience that really gets his attention.

Click to enlarge

It’s such a weird moment. Ok, he’s been making hand half-hearts and stuff, right, but then he stops and almost reflectively makes a butterfly hand gesture, while staring in amazement, then his hand goes to cover his mouth while he continues to stare. It happens at 49:20 or so -- I can’t figure out what he saw. I assume a fan was holding up some sort of fan art of the Butterfly performance, or was dressed like a butterfly, or something…? I wish I knew! It obviously really surprised and touched him.

We see that each fan has been given a light wand that they can also use to vote. I’m not going to say what I think those light wands look like, but they definitely look like sex toys.

The boys are all gathered on stage, and it looks like the performances will start any minute…

… but nope. Instead, it’s time for…

52:09 A special video of a special surprise fan meeting

The boys are out at a sort of field day event and find out that they have a surprise fan meeting later that day. They have to win prizes they can use to prepare for the fan meeting.

It’s hard to recap this kind of thing because there’s no point to it, so I’ll mix recap with just random stray thoughts!

🌟I thought it was funny when boys joked that they might have to be in a “zoning out competition” and we see a montage of Na Kamden zoning out. Fun fact -- I showed my fella the dance practice of Switch and he was like, “that guy” (Kamden) “needs to show a facial expression of any kind.”

🌟I loved Woongki going “woooOOOOoooh!”

🌟What happened to Keita? Why does he have a band-aid on his nose?

🌟I’m glad that they’re all performing as a big team instead of competing against each other. Yes, a common enemy!! Co-op board games keep me and my fella from getting too competitive! Co-op games for the win!

The game where they wore party hats over their eyes to restrict their vision and have to try to match childhood photos to their subjects was pretty cute. They end up getting 5, which means they get to give their fans some tissues. I love how at the start of the game, the staff tells them that the other boys can’t help the searchers, and how they do anyway and no one cares.

I also love how someone says, of elementary school aged Hui, “He looks like he would’ve liked potatoes.” I have no idea what that means or if it’s a Korean saying or what. But I love it and am going to start saying it about people given the slightest opportunity.

🌟Aww, Ricky says of his 11 or 12 year old photo, “I was so ugly.” Every human being is a little bit ugly at that age. And he already had great eyebrows! I bet girls had a crush on him.

🌟Aw, Woongki was the same as a kid! But hold on, I’m still not clear on whether or not that kid in the swimming pool really was Hiroto.

Next game is a quiz game, whether they’re shown random photos and have to recognize them -- other trainees, the judges, etc. They managed to win the mics. I think the show threw the game to make sure they at least got mics.

The third game is to win food for the visitors -- they have to throw each other candies and catch them in their mouths. If they get 20, they win a steak dinner; if they get only 15, they get galbitang, which a beef short rib soup; if they get 10, they get only gimbap, which if you’re not familiar, is a bit like sushi in that it’s seaweed wrapped around rice, but it has a really different flavor -- there isn’t vinegar on the rice, it’s sesame oil instead, and the fillings can vary a lot. It’s tasty and all that, but it’s considered a sort of casual comfort food in Korea -- not exactly fine dining. It’d be a bit like serving your guests PB&J (USA) or beans on toast (UK) or whatever the version of that meal is where you live. Anyway, turns out Jay is really good at catching candies in his mouth, and catches 11, and hey, gimbap is better than nothing.

🌟 I liked them joking that it would have been great for TaeRae to be the one who catches the candies, because his mouth is so big, and TaeRae just being like, yep.

Then all of a sudden they tell us that the boys won hair and makeup and costumes in games we didn’t get to see…? What the everlasting fuck, MNET? Was Haruto just too charming in the bit that you had to cut it?

So, with the field day over, the boys return to the dorms to get ready for their show and put on regular but nice looking clothes, then get their hair and make up done. Then they go to the venue and hang up balloons and other decorations for their guests. But who will their guests be?

When the guests are revealed, my first thought was, “there’s more men than I thought there’d be.” My second thought was, “wow, they’re all middle aged, or a little older -- where are the screaming teenagers?” and then I was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s their families!

🌟 I love Haruto’s mom -- of course his mom would be so outgoing and silly.

🌟 Park Hanbin’s mother is saying, “Our son became this pretty? Our son became so pretty!” First, if you’re not aware by now, the Korean word translated as "pretty" (it sounds like "yeppo") is applied to men and women alike in Korea, so don’t be throw off by the word choice or think it's a veiled insult. Second, hey, Hanbin’s mother, he’s always been pretty!! And he looks just like you so…. I mean…

🌟Seo Won’s parents make bunny ears at him -- he looks almost irritated at them. Maybe it's a family joke he's really sick of.

🌟We get to see 😁Wang Zi Hao’s😁 dance teacher, who is named Trix. In an interesting coincidence, my fella recently sent me a video of this dance crew called Monster Woo fam. Well, Trix is a member of that crew. Since he’s Korean, it's probably much easier for him to come to something like this than it would be for 😁WZH’s😁 parents to come, and I'm glad that 😁WZH😁had someone to support him, but I'm sorry it couldn't be his family. It's also kind of interesting that he had a Korean dancer teacher, but seems to still be not that great at speaking Korean. Maybe he understands a lot more than he can say.

🌟Keita’s dad, who looks exactly like MMA star Choo Sung Hoon, is also there. (My fella came in while I was writing this and was like, “wait, why is Choo Sung Hoon on your Korean singing show?” My fella watched Physical 100 and recognized him from that.)

🌟 Wumuti is also there! Wumuti is everywhere. Wumuti is IN YOUR BRAIN. I love that Wumuti is so glad to see who is on team Switch -- it’s like, he can relax knowing that if Keita is there, it’s going to be ok.

🌟Woongki is crying, and in a kind of a surprise, so is TaeRae. TaeRae’s mother, who totally has his exact cheekbones, is like, “Oh no, our TaeRae is so sensitive.” P-Hanbin is also tearing up.

🌟15 year-old Han Yujin says “my heart just felt strange” when he saw his mom. I can imagine that -- you kind of build up a wall and almost convince yourself you’ve never been anywhere but here, and then you see people from your old life and the wall crumbles down. Side note: his mom is really pretty. She looks like she could be an actress or something.

🌟Na Kamden has an identical twin brother! Wild. Kamden is the younger of the two (by however many minutes) so has to call his twin “hyung.”

🌟Ok, this is weird -- when the staff is bringing out the gimbap, we see that Haruto’s manager and Dongmyeong from k-band Onewe (check out their song “Gravity”) are there. That’s random. But Dongmyeong’s been on ALL the reality shows so maybe he’s just there because he gets it? But I really don't understand -- Haruto is under WakeOne and Onewe is under RBW, and I double checked but neither of those companies owns the other so really, this is super perplexing.

They’re all nervous to perform in front of their parents and other family members. Keita says it’s the first time he’s ever performed for his parents, which seems wild to me -- they’ve never seen Ciipher perform?

🌟We find out that Kamden’s brother came all the way from the US to be here. And I love the way the two of them greet each other -- like vague acquaintances. I have cousins who are twins, and they’re like that with each other. They ask the brother if he’s ever seen Kamden’s “aegyo” (over the top cute behavior) and the brother is like please no.

🌟TaeRae is crying so much he almost can’t sing.

🌟Oh, that’s Cai Jin Xin in the audience! Maybe some of the Chinese trainees had a hard time booking the flight home or had a flight home scheduled for some weeks from now, so they’re stuck in Korea for the time being -- something like that? Anyway, CJX was on the original team Switch and can’t help but dance along. It's cute. Both CJX and Wumuti look great styled in their natural personal style (I assume). I'm low-key obsessed with CJX's bizarre hoodie cape thing.

🌟Oh, Keita’s mom is also so pretty. Keita says he had a hard time preparing for this mission, and I think he’s just so exhausted on every level, giving it his all this whole time. I'm voting for you, sweetie.

When it’s time for “Over Me,” I couldn’t help but think about how embarrassing it must have been for the trainees to perform that song in front of their parents! Here are some sample lyrics, from the video on a youtube channel called ms start+ . The parts that were in English originally are in green -- the rest is translated (kind of poorly, I think) from the Korean.

I swear that I won’t leave without you / this breathless emotion is through/ come closer and hold me tight, tonight with you / I want to stay with you … Burning more and more we’re on fire, you and I are going to the end of the night. / We don’t need to hide our desire/ to wake up with you over me

Doesn’t matter whether you speak Korean and no English, or English and no Korean, you’re going to understand this song. Seriously, I would be so uncomfortable performing this in front of my parents. I noticed that they didn’t use the red fabric ties -- did they just not have them, or did they scrap them at the last second to make the dance less overtly sexy?

🌟We see that Zhang Hao and Ricky’s agency manager is here, watching proudly. She’s wearing a gray hoodie over a white turtleneck with a black coat over the hoodie, so I hope she’s warm enough. We also see that some of Yoon Jongwoo’s chingus are there, finding the whole thing pretty cringey. Love that.

Then they do this awful thing where they make Han Yujin tell his mom he loves her, and he cries, and I hate all of this, but his mom is also really pretty! So is Gyubin’s mom -- we see her at 1:14:53. Aw, all the moms are pretty. Yay! But no one is eating the gimbap -- ha ha. First time I watched this I may have been a bit... lofty... and I was like, damn, if you guys don't want that gimbap, give it to me...

So the families all love the performances, and then the boys are told that this is actually an evaluation performance and that their families will be filling out evaluation sheets. The boys go back to their rehearsal rooms to read their evaluation forms. The show seems to vastly overestimate how much suspense they can eek out of this as the trainees react to the eval forms. It’s so obvious why they’re reacting the way they are, I mean, duh, MNET. Shock of all shocks, the families really just wrote notes of support and love instead of criticizing them harshly! WUTTT?????? It’s still really cute and made me tear up a little because as you know, I’m a light touch.

🌟We never see Takuto reacting to any of this -- I think maybe his parents weren’t there? If they had been, I think that the show have focused on that. Poor Takuto, not being able to see his parents! He's like, a high school sophomore. He's not even old enough to take the SATs.

Side note: we get to see a bit of the note that Keita’s dad wrote for him, and it’s almost all in hiragana. That’s a Japanese syllabary, kind of like their alphabet, as opposed to the kanji characters, which are the more complex characters that have been adapted from Chinese. It’s considered a sign of good education to use kanji where applicable, and just supplement with hiragana as needed to conjugate verbs and stuff. So Keita’s dad is either maybe not super well educated, or is just writing very casually to his son and chose a more simple method of writing. I remember in a few animes, characters being made fun of for writing in just hiragana -- like Sailor Moon, noted ditz, only uses hiragana -- but I don’t want to base my cultural understanding just on anime, so if anyone knows the sort of ins-and-outs of writing quick notes in Japanese, and whether people are likely or unlikely to use kanji in a casual note, let me know! The reason I’m interested in not at all to insult Keita’s father -- it’s more that knowing that Keita comes from a more working-class background makes what he’s doing all the more special. So many idols come from super upper class backgrounds -- Jay from Enhypen, Tzuyu from Twice, Wendy from Red Velvet, Umji from G-friend, those are just a few that pop into my head. Keita being able to develop his talents without the financial backing of rich parents -- that’s just extra cool. We stan a self-sufficient talent.

Anyway, that was a cute interlude, but I’m glad I was able to skip it when I watched the episode the first time to get to the next segment! I don’t mind filler per se, but when you’re dying to see what happened to team Supercharger, you just want to go to…

1:21:28 Supercharger

The team introduces itself as “96.” Subtle. 😛We see their rehearsals -- a study in misery, desperation, and hard work -- and then their performance, which is… surprisingly good? We all knew Haruto would nail it, but this is the first time I feel like I saw Wang Zi Hao look like an idol, rather than just a really good backup dancer, and everyone (but poor Takuto) really pulled it off. I’d say Woongki surprised me, but he didn’t really -- if you watch some of his performances with T01, you’ll see he can totally rock this kind of thing. Hiroto comes in first with 852 votes, which is well deserved.

For my more in depth discussion of their rehearsals/performance, click here.

1:41:57 En Garde

The team introduces itself as "En! Butter." It’s apparently kind of a reference to redbean butter bread, and makes sense with the name of the song. This team really had nothing to worry about, so they kind of invented problems to overcome (at least, that’s my take on what happened) and then put on a perfectly good performance that oddly doesn’t sway me much, despite the fact that I like all these performers a lot. I think it’s just that the song is kind of boring to me, personally. I know other people like it and that’s totally cool. We all like different things. Gyuvin comes in first with 742 votes -- I suspect this is controversial because apparently a lot of people don’t like Gyuvin, but I like Gyuvin just fine and don’t mind.

For my more in depth discussion of their rehearsals/performance, click here for my En Garde recap!

1:58:43 Say My Name (not really)

We see the team backstage, then immediately flashback to their rehearsal time. It’s all really uncomfortable. I know people probably are curious about what I have to say about Matthew, but I don’t want to go into too much detail here and now. My short answer is, again, I don’t see this as evil editing. I see this as immature unpleasant behavior from Matthew. It’s not unforgivable or beyond understanding, and there are times that certainly we can see that he’s trying his best, but overall, I don’t love what I see here. I mean, his team is still super uncomfortable even as they go up onstage!

I’ll talk more about it in a separate post, linked in the episode 10 recap!

Side note: Ok, hey, LipJ, like, I thought it was kind of funny how you found the boys attractive, but back off from Han Yujin, ok? He’s a child. You’re twice his age. It’s really not ok. Alright! That’s enough of that.

Interim ranking posting:

And then the show posts a few of the current ranks, just enough to achieve some nefarious purpose. This is what they show:

Keita

Ricky

Park Hanbin

Lee Jeongyheon

Kim Gyuvin

Yoo Seung Eon

Cha Woonki

Enhh. You guys, the purpose behind this seems so obvious I almost feel like I don’t need to say this, but I’ll just say it anyway, in case you’re thinking the same thing as me and wondering if you’re imagining things. You’re not imagining things. MNET revealed that Keita and Ricky are ranked so high in order to hurt them, and revealed that those five Korean trainees were ranked comparatively low in order to help them. The idea is that people won’t want to vote for the trainees that are ranked high, because they don’t think they need help, and will want to vote for the trainees that are ranked low, because they think they DO need help. And no, it’s not a coincidence that the higher ranked trainees are foreign and the lower ranked trainees are Korean.

So, that's my ep 9 general recap. Here's a link to my general recap of episode 10! As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned! You're the best.

#boys planet #boys planet recap #haruto #keita #ricky boys planet

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tiny-tokunaga · 7 months

Text

On Repeat Playlist Tag Game

Tagged by @woundedheartwithin thank you!!! ❤️

Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and tag 10 people.

(It's still my all SMAP/Atarashii Chizu/Kimura Takuya/Katori Shingo playlist. I have barely listened to anything else for 2.5 years now. WHOOPS) I didn't reshuffle it and just did the next 10 songs because I've got a long car ride ahead of me today.

1. 弱い僕だから(session) / Yowai Boku Dakara (session) - Kimura Takuya

2. やりたい放題 / Yaritai Houdai - SMAP

3. どんないいこと / Donna Ii Koto - SMAP

4. どうしても君がいい / Doushitemo Kimi ga Ii - SMAP

5. エンジェルはーと - Angel Heart - SMAP

6. シャレオツ - Shareotsu - SMAP

7. One Chance! - SMAP

8. セロリ/ Celery - SMAP

9. たてながの自由 / Tatenaga no Jiyuu - SMAP

10. 手を繋ごう / Te wo Tsunagou - SMAP

(if you see this and wanna do it, go for it and tag me so I can see!!! :3 )

#realized that just screenshotting it doesn't make it accessible to look up the songs if you dont know japanese #so this way you can copy paste the japanese title or search by the romanization if you want!!!#also god i have an irrational hatred for spotify i just tried to link yowai boku dakara for people and i couldn't with the free version 🙃#the search function is garbage too don't give me only the original or other covers i want a specific cover!!!! i know you have it!!!!!#anyway #some absolute BANGERS HERE #one chance is one of my favorite Takuya solos #tatenaga no jiyuu is one of my favorite album songs #and shareotsu is incredible PLEASE WATCH THE MV FOR BEAUTIFUL BUMPIT TAK #tagged me #music

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panzerkatzee · 11 months

Text

Good day ya'll!

Its 11:30 and I just completed a small research session on fillipino martial arts and taking extensive notes on how my characters might move in the upcoming combat scenes. Funny enough, I always thought my larp experience would help in writing combat realistically… but oh boy… I WAS SO WRONG… its embarassing.

I am still no real expert, but maybe I can find someone to help with those scenes in particular down the line. For now I did watch some videos and read some instructions online and feel confident to get into the fight scene, I've been hyped for yesterday… but first… warm up time!!

by Electrum Photography

Then and again, he would get a flicker of red eyes, burning brightly with flashes of inert blood magic, his friend no doubt struggling to hold it back, hating crowds as it was. Dan… you are getting an ear full, for dragging her out here, he thought ruefully and picked up his pacing again. A few moments later, she stumbled free from the bodies swaying and squirming with the thrumming beats. "going to try smth new, winky face", had been the last text he received from her before getting on the tube and hot damn… she had. Only her hair was reminiscent of the timid mage, kept straight and falling down onto her shoulders, bangs freshly trimmed to end in a straight line above her brows. To cover her chest Lucille wore only a black pleather bra, the burning church tattooed across he abdomen, was on full display, showing its bell-tower ablaze, right between her breasts. She had paired it off with nothing more than a pair of latex gloves and a matching skirt, making Dan sweat just by looking at it. Clashing with the entire get up, the mad woman had forgone the use of shoes completely.

Not my best work… but after spending so much time on researching, I am a bit anxious to get writing. There is still some catching up with the long-term goal to do… soooo snaps fingers LET'S DO IT!

Okaaay… five hours later… didn't hit the word count… yet. But I am due for a food break, having ordered poké bowl from my fav restaurant.

I really underestimated how far fight scenes were out of my comfortzone… usually I am more for the whole emotional stuff… but as I am writing sci-fi about ppl doing sneaky shit and pissing off powerful other ppl, I don't think I will get away without it…

In the end… I went against the plan I had, and reshuffled my entire story a little bit.. soooo.. that just might turn into something interesting… who knows…

As of now I am at ~1400 words, so very close… aaaand the next scene coming up, will be snugly inside my comfort zone again, hence I am no tooo worried, I won't hit my mark for the day.This wraps up Chapter IV nice and neat~

I do a lot better at starting a chapter than ending it sooo...

But.. to learn from this, I will probably alter the daily warm up challenge a bit… by changing it to stuff I am not quite good at yet..

Maybe a paragraph of a battle scene or dialogue each day? Something like this.

As it stands now, I will wait for my food and write a bit more afterwards…

For now, lets continue with the Playlist, shall we?

Today's song: Faunts - M4 Pt.2

youtube

Why is this on my playlist? Those among you with an excellent taste in Video Games, might already know this one. If not by name, then from the Mass Effect I credits, as it is from the Game's OST. To be honest, it doesn't align at all with what I usually listen to, but then that's mostly everything that leads to the release of dopamine in my brain… so I can't claim any consistency there. Being a huuuuge fan of the Mass Effect Trilogy… and my alien waifu Garrus, connecting a very peaceful time in my life with these games… an age of innocence so to speak.. I have feelings about the song as well…

The lyrics just resonate with me… and I kinda always come back to it, when I have a hard time. Its not cheerful or anything.. but it holds this deepfelt wish for someone to heal… and struggling with mental illness, I just need it.

As my novel draws a lot from my personal experiences and how I see the world, this fits the story's playlist quite well… and its Mass Effect related… sooo doubly perfect~

Sooooo I will go wait for food now and play some Mahjong or whatever :D Have a lovely day~

#writing #creative writing #on writing #national novel writing mont #nanowrimo 2023 #nanowrimo #sci fi novel #science fiction #sci fi #writing challenge #writing journal #writing journey #faunts #mass effect #Youtube

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hirazuki · 1 year

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11, 12, and 13 for the ask game, please?

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I jump around when jotting down ideas; like, if I'm writing something and then I get a random flash of inspiration, I'll jump to further down in my document to type out the sentence/scene/words/whatever, because I know from experience that I will NOT remember it later when I want it.

But when actually properly writing/editing the fic in full, no, my mind requires me to write scenes in order. It's one of the reasons it takes me so long to finish and post stuff, because if I'm stuck on a scene or sick of looking at it while editing, I can't move on to a different section and work on that instead. It has to be in order.

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

ALWAYS. Mmm, it really depends. When I think of plot/scene sequence, it's very much like watching scenes from a movie in my head -- location, angle, POV, etc., and I really enjoy switching POVs multiple times even within a one-shot. So for pretty much everything, I'll first create sections in the document for each different POV; or, if it's a single POV, sections for each event/scene that happens. After that, if I'm writing a one shot, it's usually just word-vomiting ideas/phrases

kind of like this in this type of format

in each section, along with any relevant canon quotes/dialogue/research I want to use, plus citation of where I found it, in case I want to look it up in its original context again (learned that the hard way XD). So that I can have all of my material readily available to reference as I am writing, without constantly having to run around multiple places to find it and potentially miss something I had wanted to include but forgot.

If I'm writing something that's multiple chapters, I have a separate document in full outline mode, where I keep track of the content of each chapter and what each chapter will address, plus the timeline. For example:

[November]

Prologue – Chapter 1: Battle on the roof of Las Noches

Chapter 2: Ulquiorra’s revival

Chapter 3: Zanpakuto rebellion + Ulquiorra in Soul Society

[November-February]

[end of November -- Gotei 13 invading army arc]

[December 2 – Ichigo loses his reiryoku]

Chapter 4: Zanpakuto rebellion cont, Ulquiorra reunites with Orihime;

[March-April]

Chapter 5: Hoshi goes to Hueco Mundo, meets Grimmjow; Grimmjow stalks her in living world

^ these are chapters I've already written, so notes are pretty minimal and basically are only the broad contents of each chapter because I delete as I address/incorporate each thing, but for WIPs, each chapter also has a subsection that includes important points, quotes I want to incorporate, scene breakdown, etc.

I rarely ever stray from my outlines. There may be additional ideas or scenes that pop up in my mind that I want to incorporate, but at most it means maybe reshuffling some things around. It's never big enough to change anything significant about the fic.

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Nope! Music is very, very distracting to me. I require complete silence. I'll listen to music while daydreaming about fic or planning/researching, etc., and that's usually either character/universe playlists I've made or, if what I'm working from has an OST, I'll listen to tracks from that based on vibe (calm/ambient, sad, cheerful, battle, etc.) that matches the tone of the fic. But never when I'm actually writing, no.

Recently, I've had Darkness, The Other Side, and Moonlight Shadow playing on loop while I'm driving and thinking about fictional things. It was just happy coincidence (a matter of time, really, given how much of their music I have) that one of their songs played while I was thinking of Nan Elmoth, so now Blackmore's Night is officially the sound of that forest for me ♡

#thanks for asking!

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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

Text

Awake My Soul • 11

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

WC: 3.9k

Summary: It’s been 5 years since zombies first began their invasion, and despite everything you’ve been through, you’ve managed to survive up until this point. Now it’s time to face your most dangerous challenge yet….the grumpy, untrusting, fiercely protective Bucky Barnes.

Chapter Warnings: Canon level violence. Mentions of death, blood, injury, torture.

Series Masterlist / Series Playlist

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Bucky growled, throwing his cards on the ground and crossing his arms in a huff.

Steve chuckled, grabbing the pile in front of him and reshuffling the deck. “Face it, Buck. You’re shit at this game.”

“It’s fucking War, Stevie. There’s literally no strategy to it, just chance.”

The blond cocked his brow. “Then how come I keep kicking your ass?”

Bucky glared at him, a smile creeping up his face. “Alright then, if you’re so good, how about this? If I win this round, you finally have to ask Nat out on a date.”

Steve stopped shuffling, his shoulders rising and falling as he let out a deep breath.

“Buck, I’m not going to ask someone out based on a bet.”

“Then what the fuck is it going to take to get you to do it? You gotta tell me man so that I can be put out of my misery after watching you two pine over each other for years. Should I write her a note with those boxes to check off either yes, no, or maybe? Should I ask Lena to ask her out for you? Honestly this would be so much easier if we still had phones and could text each other-”

“Alright, alright, enough already,” Steve groaned as his friend resolved into a fit of laughter at his obvious annoyance. “I just…I don’t want to make things weird. Besides, she’s amazing. What would someone like her want with a Brooklyn schmuck like me?”

Bucky softened, leaning forward to lightly shove Steve’s arm. “Hey, don’t talk about my best friend like that. You’re the best guy there is, and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Steve smiled, resuming his shuffling and dealing out cards for the both of them. “Alright, tomorrow, I promise I will seriously consider asking out Natasha.”

A beam lit up Bucky’s face and he clenched his hand into a fist in victory. “With that attitude,I bet you two will be married within the next decade.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Hopefully by that point, you’ll have found someone for yourself, bud.”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head as he collected his cards. “Nah, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m gonna be a lone wolf kinda guy. Makes things easier, you know?”

Steve shrugged. “Might be easier, but I think you’d be seriously missing out on a chance at something amazing. I can’t think of anyone else who deserves to be happy more than you, Buck.”

“Alright, Romeo,” Bucky said, chuckling, “where is this hopeless romantic side of you when it comes to allowing love into your life-”

The overhead lighting in the bell tower flashed off suddenly, the bulb shifting from a faint yellow to a bright, unforgiving red.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, dropping their cards on the ground.

Bucky grabbed his binoculars, scanning the perimeter of the church. “I don’t see anything,” he murmured. “I’ll go down and do a sweep.”

Steve nodded, tossing him a flashlight. “You know the drill. Twice, false alarm. Three-”

“Three times, shit’s going down,” Bucky finished, saluting his friend and leader before grabbing his gear and climbing down the ladder.

“I’ll keep watch up here,” Steve added. “Be careful.”

“Always am!”

“You never are, Buck.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you!”

Bucky pulled out his machete as soon as he got to the bottom, cautiously making his way down the sanctuary of the church. It had to have been around 3am, so the rest of the camp was sleeping in their quarters in the dorms previously used by the nuns who worked here when this used to be a functioning religious establishment.

He heard steps coming from behind him and whipped around, ready to swipe his blade at his attacker.

His body relaxed instantly at the sight of his friend, a smile spread across his face in relief. “Ward, what the fuck are you doing up so late-”

His question was cut off as Ward walked up and landed a right hook across his jaw, body falling over until his head connected with the corner of one of the pews.

That’s when everything faded to black.

Bucky woke a few minutes later as a bright light burned through his closed eyelids. He slowly opened them, the sanctuary spinning for a few seconds, a sharp pain in his head.

It only took a few seconds for him to make out the image before him, and he jumped into action.

The church was on fire.

He looked around, finding the place empty, then ran toward the main doors.

Coulson was laying on the steps of the church entrance, a bullet in between his eyes.

When he looked up, he saw Laura being dragged away by two men in all black, and he sprinted toward them.

One of the men let go of her and pulled out his gun, taking a shot at Bucky, but he missed.

Which allowed Bucky enough time to take the man down with one swing.

Laura - now able to use the right side of her body - grabbed a dagger and plunged it into her other attacker’s neck.

Bucky grabbed her by the arm. “Are you okay?” She nodded. “Where are the others?”

She let out a sob. “Maria, Tony, and Nick are down. Steve ran to the dorms to grab the others. I saw Pepper and Morgan head to the woods.”

“Laur!” Clint ran up to the both of them, face nearly crumbling with relief as he wrapped his wife in his arms. He turned to Bucky. “It’s a shitshow. I don’t know where these guys came from-”

“It was Ward,” Bucky growled. “He led them here.”

Clint’s eyes widened. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

Bucky shook his head. “Not today. The two of you, go find Pepper and Morgan. I’ll send anyone else toward you. If things go bad, just run. Get to the nearest pharmacy.”

Laura gave him a quick hug and the two of them sprinted toward the woods, and Bucky turned his focus back on the dorms.

He could see through the windows that most of the building was up in flames, and the closer he got the more his face burned.

But he couldn’t stop. He had to make sure everyone was safe. He had to find Steve.

Just as he began his ascent up the stairs into the building, Sarah emerged, holding a bloody, unconscious Carol at her side.

Tears streamed down her face. “Bucky,” Sarah cried out, “help me.”

He took hold of Carol's other side, helping to carry her down the stairs.

Sarah jumped up, eyes on the burning building. “My boys,” she sobbed. “They’re still in there. Steve-”

“I got it,” Bucky yelled, already running in. “Get to the woods! Find the others! We’ll get AJ and Cass!”

Tears burned in his eyes from the heat, and Bucky hovered his arm over his face to block it off best he could.

He just had to get to the boys. To Steve.

Little did he know that he was just about to lose any lingering sense of hope that he might have still possessed in a matter of minutes.

“Bucky?” you said softly after a minute of him staring blankly at you. “Are you okay?”

He blinked. “What…what did you just say?”

You swallowed, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

“Steve. I think he’s alive. He was…Hydra has him.”

Bucky shook his head. “That’s impossible-”

“Blond hair? Blue eyes?” Bucky’s own blue eyes widened. “He was taken in four months before I left, meaning it was right around the time you guys said you were attacked. I hardly ever saw him, and they never called him by his first name, I only knew him as Rogers.” You breathed out another small sob. “If I had known, I would have-”

Lips crashed against yours in a needy, feverish kiss.

When Bucky pulled back, his eyes were alight, a small smile creeping on his face.

Your brow furrowed. “You’re not…you’re not mad?”

He shook his head, expression unchanging.

“Steve’s alive,” he stated.

You nodded, a hopeful smile growing on your own face. “Steve’s alive.”

And then you were moving, his metal hand tightly gripping yours as he dragged you out of the building.

Within minutes, you were with Sam in the meeting room, relaying your story to the camp’s new leader. A restless Bucky stood by your side, trying to keep still as his body jittered with nervous and excited energy.

“We have to go,” he blurted out once you were finished. “Now. I’ll let the others know and we can head out by nightfall.”

Sam’s mouth pressed into a thin line, hands tightening around the edge of the desk he was sitting against.

“Bucky,” he said slowly, sternly, “you know it’s not that simple.”

Bucky scoffed. “We can’t just sit here and wait for him to fucking find us, Sam. We have to get him!”

“I’m not saying we sit back and do nothing. Obviously I want to go out and get him just as badly as you do-”

“Then what the hell are we still doing standing here-”

“-but, this is a big thing we’re going up against. We have to come up with a plan. This is a powerhouse you’re suggesting our team - which is much smaller than it was when we first fought them - try and fight on their turf. Yes I want Steve back, but the last thing he’d want would be for us to put our family at risk because we weren’t prepared. Bruce tells me he’s almost done with the blaster weapons, we could start strategizing and Y/n can give us intel on their base.”

You could see your partner shaking his head from the corner of your eye and you turned to look at him, his jaw clenched in frustration. Your arm wrapped around his in comfort.

“Hydra is at least a week away, and that’s if we’re lucky and find horses to ride. Otherwise it’s a month on foot. He could be dead by the time we get there.”

Sam let out a long sigh. “He might already be dead, Buck.”

His body stilled against you. “Do you even fucking care Sam? What the hell is this?” His voice grew louder, angrier.

“Bucky-” you whispered.

“Of course I fucking care!” Sam shouted, standing straight. “And hell, if it were just me I had to worry about I would have left five fucking minutes ago! But it’s not, and I need to look out for what’s left of our pack. I have to make sure Morgan, Cass, and AJ have parents that will return to them! I have to make sure that we can even make it to the Hydra alive so that Steve doesn’t rot in there because we had no idea what we were doing.”

“But-”

“Drop it Bucky,” Sam said with finality. “We’ll meet about this tonight after dinner to discuss next steps.” His face softened. “As soon as we’re ready, we’ll leave. I promise you that. We’re gonna get him back, but we have to ensure that everyone else gets to come back, too.”

Bucky opened his mouth, ready to say something, then shut it, and you wondered if he was going to have any teeth left from how tightly he was clenching them together.

Without a word, he gently released himself from your hold and stormed off, punching a hole in the wall with his vibranium arm.

You flinched, tears welling in your eye from how upset he was.

Maybe you shouldn’t have told him…

“It’s good that you did,” Sam responded to the thought you had apparently said out loud. You turned to him and he gave you an understanding smile. “He deserves to know, and though he’s mad, this is great news.” He sighed, expression now painted with guilt. “I hope….I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to save Steve as soon as possible-”

The hitch in his voice pulled your feet toward him until your arms were wrapping him in a tight hug.

“I know,” you whispered as he returned the embrace. You pulled away. “You’re our leader for a reason, Sam. We trust you, and that includes Bucky. What was it you all kept telling me when I first got here and I thought he hated my guts?”

Sam breathed out a small laugh. “Just give it time.”

You nodded. “Just give it time. He’ll cool off.

He squeezed your arm. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here.”

Another nod. “Me, too. Now, let’s go talk to the others and finally get Steve back.”

Bucky kept to himself for the rest of the night.

Right after you left the meeting room, you went to his, only to find the door closed.

You knocked.

Silence.

You attempted to turn the handle.

Locked.

You tried to ignore the ache in your chest, trying to tell yourself that he needed time. He’d come to you when he was ready.

So with a heavy heart, you stepped away and began telling the group to meet with you and Sam after dinner.

It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off once the two of you laid everything out, but as soon as it did, everyone got to work forming a plan.

Bruce and Peter were finishing final prototypes for the new blasters, and if they passed their tests they could start producing more for at least a few members to hold onto.

Laura and Clint would go out and start collecting horses and board them at a nearby farm to shave off travel time.

Dum Dum would start meal prepping so that the gang had enough food supplies for the journey there and back. Him, Pepper, and Bruce would stay back with the kids.

Yelena and Kate would get to training everyone full time, individually and in groups.

You’d be working with Sam - and hopefully Bucky - to give them details on the Hydra base so that you could plan your attack.

In two weeks, you would be on your way.

Two weeks before you’d be heading back to your prison.

That was the thought constantly nagging you in the back of your brain. Don’t go back. Don’t go back.

You could have stayed behind as the others left. Sam continuously reminded you of that. It was your choice to go or stay. The ramifications of you returning to Hydra were much more dangerous than anyone else.

If there was even a chance that this plan could fail and they could capture you once more, you’d be right back where you were, and they’d be one step closer to finding out how to develop a cure to gain even more power.

It would be very very very bad.

But this was Steve. Shield’s family. Bucky’s family. And that made him yours.

And if there was anything you could do to keep your family safe, you would.

Even if the nagging thought persisted.

Don’t go back.

Don’t. Go. Back.

Bucky stood outside your bedroom door, hand hovering over the handle, fingers twitching as he debated his next moves.

You were most likely asleep, getting some rest in before the two of you were supposed to be on watch.

He just wanted to see you.

One last time.

Before he did something really stupid.

Bucky took a deep breath, closing his eyes as they began to sting with tears, hand going back to his side.

It was too risky.

Too selfish.

It was also unnecessary, because he saw you everytime he closed his eyelids. Could recreate every single detail of what you looked like because it was permanently seared inside his brain.

He took a step back, finding it painfully difficult to walk further away from you.

But this was how it needed to be.

He needed to go save Steve.

If he waited any longer, he could be dead by the time he got there.

He needed to go.

His metal hand tightened around the strap of his bag and he descended down the stairs.

All that was left to do was run to the arsenal room to go grab the bag of food and extra weapons he had packed during the group’s meeting, and then he’d be on his way.

Bucky stopped short when he reached the back corner of the room where the bag was supposed to be hidden, but instead he was face to face with an empty spot.

“Looking for something, Beefcake?”

He stilled, body tensing before slowly turning around to find you leaning against the door frame, his extra bag around your shoulder, arms crossed as you looked at him like he had just got caught looking through his Ma’s wallet.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, though he knew it was a stupid question.

Your eyes went to the ground and you stood straight. “Welp, I had been looking around for a brooding, ridiculously attractive man who I felt needed a hug or something. When I checked in here a few hours ago to try and find him, I noticed a few weapons were missing…” Your brows rose as you gave him a knowing look. “That’s when I found the bag. Wasn’t too hard to put two and two together.”

Bucky’s head hung low. “I wanted to tell you,” he mumbled. “I just-”

“We can talk about it on the road,” you said casually, and his head shot back up to look at you, eyes wide. You leaned down to grab something behind the wall, holding it up for him to see.

It was the blaster Bruce and Peter had been working on.

Realization sank in and Bucky began shaking his head fervently. “No. Absolutely not. You’re staying here.”

Your lips twisted to one side. “Sorry, Beefcake, but no can do. I gotta make sure your ass makes it out alive.”

He walked over to you, jaw clenching. “You know it’s too dangerous for you to go back there.” It made him sick to think of the things Hydra could do to you if they caught you again. He had half a mind to blow the entire operation up while he was there.

You nodded. “I also know that there’s almost no chance that you’re going to be able to stay here for two more weeks to wait for the rest of the group to prepare.”

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it, shaking his head in agreement.

“I gotta get him.”

Your hand reached up to rest against his face. “Then let me help you.”

“No.”

“Bucky,” you pleaded, any trace of humor or sarcasm in your tone gone. “Please. If you go there by yourself, Hydra will have you in a cell before you can even get through their first border patrol. I know the place, I’ve escaped it. I can keep you safe and we can finally save Steve. Together.”

There was a tremor in your voice as you said the last sentence and concern rushed through Bucky. He held your face between his hands. “Hey, hey,” he soothed. “What’s up? What am I missing?”

You leaned your head into his hand, eyes closing for a moment as you gathered your thoughts.

With a sigh, you opened your eyes to meet Bucky’s.

“Steve…Steve was the one who helped me escape.”

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

You continued. “That day, there was an uprising in the prison. Someone had managed to unlock all of the doors to let people escape. It was chaos. I was still strapped to one of the chairs for testing when the guards ran out to investigate, but they had left their….tools close enough for me to grab. I cut myself free and ran.”

Bucky continued staring at you, his body growing tense at the idea of you being tied down for them to do their bidding.

“I was running down one of the hallways when two of the guards managed to grab hold of me. I started screaming for help, trying my best to fight back. Suddenly, I was free, and I looked down to find them both on the ground. When I turned around, there he was. Rogers - as I knew him then - his face covered in dirt, fists clenched. He asked if my name was Y/n and when I said yes he just grabbed my hand and led me down various hallways until we were in the basement.”

His chest swelled. Only Steve could have managed to save the woman who now owned Bucky’s heart without even realizing.

“Eventually, we were at a large tunnel, one that Steve said would get me outside. I tried asking him questions, but he cut me off, saying I needed to go.” Your voice began to tremble as you continued. “He…he must have known about my blood and knew I needed to get as far away from Hydra as possible. He saved my life that day, and I just left him behind-”

“Hey,” Bucky leaned forward to wrap you in a tight embrace, cradling your head against his chest. “Steve knew what he was doing. He needed to get you out and keep you safe.”

“But that means that your best friend is still there being tortured. He deserves to be here, not me.”

Bucky felt his heart break in slow motion as he pulled back to meet your eyes, his own stinging with tears.

“Listen to me, Sweetheart. Never feel like you don’t deserve to be here. As much as I fucking miss Steve and wish that he was safe, if he hadn’t gotten you out then I wouldn’t have you in my life. And now we have a chance to save him..”

You blinked a few times, the right corner of your lips quirking up ever so slightly.

“So you agree, then? We should both go save him?”

Shock crossed over his face, followed quickly by the scowl that was uniquely yours.

You never ceased to amaze him.

Before he had a chance to argue, you continued on. “I swear to you that if there is even a chance that I’m in danger of….being taken again,” you closed your eyes for a moment before looking back at the storm of blue in Bucky’s eyes, “I’ll get the hell out of there. But just know that I’m dragging you out with me. And then you have to swear to me that if this doesn’t work that we will regroup with the rest of camp and follow the larger plan.”

Bucky stared at you, rushing through a million scenarios in his head of what could go wrong.

Or what could go right.

No matter the scenario, though, he realized he couldn’t imagine one without you by his side.

So, with one last exacerbated sigh, Bucky nodded.

Before you had a chance to give him a smug grin that was so uniquely his, he pulled you close and crashed his lips to yours in a desperate, hungry kiss. He tried to pour every ounce of comfort, need - and something else he wasn’t quite yet ready to admit to you out loud - into it. Everything he wanted to say in this brief moment, he said in this kiss.

Your eyes were still closed when he pulled his head back, mouth open slightly.

When you finally opened your eyes and closed your mouth, your expression shifted into that smug grin he had memorized long ago.

“Alright, Beefcake. Let’s go save Steve.”

Chapter 12

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #zombie au #zombie apocalypse au #awake my soul #ams

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yourknightingale · 5 years

Text

truth or truth: car edition

Probably my only contribution to this Bechloe week. Sorry for late post! I didn’t know I could make it. This is for the prompt TRUTH OR DARE.

Summary: Beca and Chloe take a short road trip. Car conversations can get a little out of hand sometimes.

———

An hour and a half into a 4-hour road trip, Beca had made herself comfortable and ready to nap in the passenger seat. A soft but weighty object flew to her shoulders with a pound.

“Beale! What?”, she jolted awake and turned to the driver side. She clutched the neck pillow that landed on her lap. “You know they fill this with beans, right? Dried beans! That kinda hurt, dude. What was that for?”

Chloe, who was firmly looking ahead and concentrating on the drive, replied with a scoff. “That’s not fair, Beca. You’re not allowed to sleep. It’s only 4 hours and you have to stay awake to keep ME awake. Passenger seat duty.”

Beca mumbled under her breath.

“Okay, if you keep doing that, I’ll have to pull over at the next gas station and we’ll switch. You drive. I sleep.”

The brunette straightened up right away. Shuffling a little in her seat so she can settle, she said, “Your driving skills are better than mine and you know it.”

Chloe lifted her right arm and made a thumb-up gesture without taking her eyes off the road to which the other girl just shook her head. Beca pulled out her phone from her pocket and plugged it in the car radio. It didn’t take long for the Corolla to be filled with music with just two people on their way to a wedding venue.

After 5 songs, Beca started skipping and reshuffling her playlist. “Sorry, Chlo. I’m not feeling my music today. You still good?”

“Yeah. Just actually getting bored. Highways aren’t really fun.”

“How about I turn this down and I just talk?”

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “You sure? I know I said I don’t want you to sleep but I don’t know about talking Beca.”

“Shut up, I ain’t telling you deep stuff. I don’t know. Car games?”

“Like what exactly? All of my senses are focused on this road.”

“I Spy?”

“I don’t want so much of a distraction while driving.”

“Guess what kind of fruit I am?”

“Really? No. Try again.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Unless you’re gonna dare me to switch driving, probably not a good idea. Truth or truth, yes.”

“Alright, truth or truth then. So it’s like truth or dare. Except it’s all truth. And you have to answer, no passes.”

“Cool, I guess. It’s like having a normal conversation.” She teased.

“That’s what you’d think. I go first. Truth: Why am I here with you?”

“Wow, starting off really strong there, Becs. First of all, you’re still a Bella. And this is a Bella wedding. Aren’t you excited to see Cynthia Rose? And her partner? And weddings? And free food.”

“Are those questions your truth?”

“No. Here’s truth for you: Are you still scared of showing you care for your friends even though this occasion can serve as our mini Bella reunion one long year after our graduation?”

Beca rolled her eyes. “No, it’s just that it’s in the middle of nowhere. And I’m too tired to drive. And that’s why you’re doing this which I appreciate, but it seemed a little unnecessary. My butt hurts.” She paused. “Beale, truth. Are you fond of weddings?”

“Yeah. What’s not to like? Friends are there. Free food. Love is everywhere. Your turn, Beca, truth. Why aren’t you?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m not fond of them. Weddings are okay. It’s just that it’s..” The brunette trailed off.

“You know it’s probably gonna be legalized in all states this year. We don’t have to drive 4 hours to be free.”

“You’re one hopeful beacon, Beale. I don’t know where you get it from. Truth: If the states don’t legalize anything this year, would you drive 4 hours to get married?”

“Oh, Beca. Is this your way of asking if I’m gay?” The brunette flushed red and stutters inaudibly. Chloe just laughed. “In 4 years that we’ve known each other, you can’t tell?”

“It’s not like you’re very obvious. I haven’t seen you with anyone since Turd from when we first met.”

“Tom.”

“Whatever.”

“And to answer your question, yes, I’ll probably have to drive to where it is legal. Canada, maybe.”

“Dude, you’d go that far?”

“Why, truth Beca, wouldn’t you?”

A brief hesitation from Beca gave this back-and-forth a short halt. “Maybe. I would.”

“Cool. Maybe we should go.” Chloe turned her head and gave Beca a wink.

“Dude!” The brunette gently pushed Chloe’s cheek so she’d face forward. “Look at where you’re driving!”

Chloe just smiled and teased again, saying, “For all I know, you’re just hiding a blush.”

“Dude, stop.” Beca didn’t want her to know she was right.

Half an hour of silence went by. Near empty roads still dominated their trip. Beca tried reshuffling her music, but decidedly turned the volume low after a while.

“Chlo,” Out of nowhere, she started, “can we pull over?”

“Do you need to go? There’s a gas station in about 3 minutes.”

“Not that. I just need you to not be driving while I say this. Beale, truth, do you think you can l-“

“Hold that thought, Beca Mitchell.” Chloe aggressively gassed it and sped up, they reached the station a minute and 15 seconds early. The car even made a squeaky sound as it stopped to park. Beca was sure she saw the back tires smoke.

Chloe unbuckled herself and turned to the passenger seat. “You were saying?”

Suddenly feeling indecisive, Beca tried to hold back what she was about to confess. “Uhm, I was gonna say, truth: Do you think you can stop for a bathroom break?”

“Mitchell, I swear that’s not what you were gonna say.” Chloe held Beca’s gaze until the other girl looked down on her phone. “Fine, no more truths. Dare. I pick dare.”

“Wait, we’re still playing?”

“Yes. Beca Mitchell, I dare you to ask what you were gonna ask.”

Beca furrowed her brows in slight confusion. “I don’t think you can change the rules.”

“I’m parked now.”

“Chlo, I think it’s best for both of us if I don’t.”

“Just continue, Becs. Do you think I can what?”

Beca sighed in defeat. In a low hushed voice, she uttered, “Do you think you can like me..back.. if I say I like you?”

“What do you mean? I already like you. Is that your truth? Cuz that makes it my turn now.”

“Chloe, I’m not playing anymore.”

“I say dare. I dare you.”

“Chloe, no. You’re misunderstanding me.”

“I dare you to love me.”

It was quiet for a few seconds. Beca could barely look at Chloe and she could tell that the redhead hadn’t looked away from her yet.

“I need some air.” She didn’t wait for a reply. Beca just opened the door and started walking towards the convenience store. Before she could go too far, she heard her name.

“Beca, wait.”

When she looked back, she could see Chloe half-sprinting towards her. “I didn’t mean to scare you with that. I meant it though. I guess I just wanted you to not just like me. I’ve been into you since day one, did you know that? I felt the rush when you asked me if I can ever like you back.”

Beca laughed a little. “Sorry, worst timing for a laugh ever. I just…” she started laughing a bit more, Chloe even joined her. “Did you really just dare me to love you?”

Chloe, in pure happy disbelief, replied, “You can be a little clueless sometimes.” She took a step closer to Beca and leaned in to give her forehead a little kiss. “Let’s get back in the car. We still have almost an hour to drive.”

Beca’s heart raced and with the adrenaline pumping (brought about by their conversation, absurd dare, and a tiny gesture of affection), she volunteered to drive the rest of the way. In one condition. That Chloe didn’t sleep and should talk to her about the possibility of their new relationship.

#bechloe #beca mitchell #pitch perfect #chloe beale #bechloe week 2019

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huilianwrites · 5 years

Text

Seven Things I Learned in the First Seven Weeks of Uni

I wanted to post this after six weeks of university, because it marks exactly one half of my first semester here, but things happen, and so enjoy seven things I learn in my first seven weeks of uni. Because apparently university is full of deadlines and stress. But isn’t that all life, anyway.

1. Getting to know new people is exhausting, but it’s worth it

Meeting new people can be exhausting. Going to uni with no friends going to the same uni? Doubly exhausting. Practically every single person I met in the last seven weeks are new people to me. It’s exhausting trying to juggle all the names and faces and where I met all of them. It’s exhausting having to spend mental energy to introduce myself to someone, and waiting for the dreaded judgement that would definitely come. It’s not just exhausting, but also frustrating, to be left out of certain groups. But as time went on (seven weeks of it), I realized that those people who left me out from their group, I didn’t really want to hang out with anyway. The people that I want to hang out with, that I want to actually spend my time with, is there with me, and making that new connection to people has been more than worth it. Most of the people here are also like me, going from knowing no one to hopefully knowing enough people to form a friend group practically by the end of the week. It’s just a matter of finding the right people whom you can connect with. Besides, now I get more than enough materials for stories for my friends and family back home, so it’s going to be very entertaining to tell these stories.

2. Bureaucracy can be frustrating

I’m pretty sure that everyone knows this, but really, bureaucracy is extremely frustrating. I kept getting shuffled from one office to another whenever I want to ask for something, or get something done. Getting my midterms rescheduled because I have a class conflict is a pain to handle, and I hope I do not have to do that again, but I definitely will have to do it again. I went from emailing my professor, to reading the syllabus (It’s in the syllabus. Not really!!), to going to the course administrator who is, it turns out, different than the course coordinator! It’s just a pain to go through that bureaucracy, and wasting time going from one office to another, only to get reshuffled to another office. I get why they would do that, because they need people concentrating on just one thing, but by god this is frustrating. And don’t think this is just the school bureaucracy. The student government bureaucracy can be hell to manage too, until I can’t even understand which student body represented whom. Practice for the ‘real world’ I guess, because apparently now my government forgot who they’re supposed to be representing! (Ignore this, this is just a part of my rant on my government. Moving on.)

3. Crying is okay.

Whoever suddenly decided that crying is not okay need to try it, because crying pretty much every week helped me go through this six weeks at uni. My biology teacher at high school once told my class that crying regularly helped clean out the basal tears in your eyes, and it needed cleaning, otherwise it’ll just stay there and do nothing. Besides, crying really helped get out my emotions, which is ranging from exhaustion of meeting new people, exhaustion of things to do, fear that this whole uni thing is not going to go well, and longing for home. It just released it all, and so by the end of my crying session, I could put all those emotions aside and actually do some work, instead of trying to hold all that emotions and end up doing no work at all. I now have a playlist of songs I could almost always cry to, and a bunch of stories that I could read and then cry, because sometimes just letting myself feel all that emotions wasn’t enough to cry (it has been repressed for too long). So yeah, cry your heart out. Cry alone in your room before bed, like I almost always do, or find someone you can cry to while they listen. It’s up to you whether you want to cry alone or in front of people you trust enough to cry in front of, but you need to cry sometimes instead of just bottling it in.

4. Grasp opportunities

There is a LOT of opportunities around campus, that sometimes I have no idea whether or not I’ll have enough time to do all of them. And sometimes to do them you need to audition or register, and maybe you won’t be able to get it. Sometimes it’ll be open to all. Sometimes there are two opportunities at the same time and you just have to choose between them. Sometimes you have class at the time that event happen. It doesn’t matter. There will be more events eventually. There is always something happening in my campus that if I want to, I can walk around campus, find one, and just join in. There are the residences events, there are the student unions’ events, there are the programs’ events, there are clubs’ events, and there are events that are just there for the heck of it. Try to go to as much as you can, because you won’t regret it. Most of the best experiences I have in this six weeks (it’s only been six weeks, who am I to tell? But seriously) are from joining events that I have no idea what it is and are only there for the free food (there is a lot of free food on my campus. You just have to know where to find it). Go to events you never thought you’ll be interested it. If you don’t like it, at least you’ve tried it. If you do like it, hey, even better! Try classes (drop in classes are the best because they require virtually no comitment at all!). Try going to meetings you don’t feel like going to, because maybe you’ll find it interesting enough to go to regularly. Just try things. Uni is for trying things, right?

5. Make your voice heard

I joined my first major strike in uni, and that is the climate strike happening across the world right now. I’ve always been an outspoken girl, but in university, with a class of over four, five hundred people, you can easily get lost. Make your voice heard, whether in class, or in issues you care about. (Climate change is a good one, if you’re looking for an issue to fight for). Ask for things. The worst thing they can do is say no. Advocate for yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you. Claim your needs and wants, and shout them to people (maybe not literally). Be, not just exist, because existing requires no input from you, and do you really want to spend the rest of your life like that? Make your voice heard in the middle of hundreds of other voices, and stand for them.

6. You will miss the ‘good old days’

When I was doing high school, I can’t wait for it to end. I count the days until I graduate. Now I actually miss it. Not the work nor the stress, but I miss the people and the familiarity of my school. I’ve spent six years in it, and it has become a safe space for me, even through all the stress. I know what awaits for me in high school, and I know how to handle that. University is all new. I go to university abroad, so literally everything is new. New friends, as mentioned above, new language to learn in, new surroundings, and even new weather that I had to get used to pretty quick. I knew all of this going in, and I deliberately chose this university because I want to go out of my comfort zone. I like doing that, but at the same time, I do miss the good old days when I know perfectly clear what is going on on a daily basis. Knowing that, I would probably miss these days too when I’m done with my undergrad, and so I will try to savour this experience as much as I can.

7. Take the time to rest

You need the time to rest. I try to get a solid 7 hours of sleep each night, and honestly, I still feel sleep deprived. I think it’s because at high school, I spent a lot of time commuting and I could easily take a nap in the car, and now I either walk or take the train everywhere, so no napping for me anymore. But more than just sleep, you need to rest. Take the time to do things really unrelated to your program. Go out with your friends. I’ll admit I’m quite bad at this, because, once again, every friend I have here is new and I don’t want the mental effort to do that, but you have to let loose once in a while. You’ll come back refreshed, and if you’re refreshed, you’ll be able to do things much more efficiently than if you’re just trying to power through it anyway. Go get some rest!

#lian writes #x things i learned

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standfortheangels · 5 years

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♩: My muse [for all four of the babes please~!]

[’Musically Inspired’ Art Meme] Send a symbol and I’ll put my music playlists on shuffle and draw something incorporating the first song that plays.

(So, unfortunately because I give myself much bigger jobs than I ever need to, this prompt is one I realistically won’t get finished. So I’ll just share what I got done and run through it a little. At the very least, you’ll find out one song that’s on each of my muses’ playlists~ ^^)

(I definitely want to come back to all the unfinished ones later though)

1 - Mia’s song was Gimme Chocolate by BABYMETAL.

The heavy metal and the cute, happy sections sort of battling each other through the song made me think of what Mia’s new personality and memories will wind up being, compared to the war and darkness in her past that she’s forgotten.

So I drew her, singing along in her little happy cloud, surrounded by sweets and chocolate, with clues about her past hidden in the darkness behind.

I had plans to switch the art style to something cuter, but, that’s as far as this one went.

2 - Raph’s song was... Well, actually, it was Nate Sharp’s cover of Let It Go. >w>;

But, I decided to reshuffle. He would’ve killed me if I didn’t.

The new song was War of Change by Thousand Foot Krutch.It was a bit of a tricky one for me, but I got an idea together in the end.

I focused on Raph’s internal anger and restraint (”There’s a war going on inside of me” “It’s just about to break.. everything’s about to change” “I’m warning you, don’t try to get up”, etc.) and I wanted to show it through mirrors.

Two guys behind Raph are just being douchey, laughing at him for something, while he grits his teeth, clenches a fist in frustration, and deals with it. But in the mirror, his demon self is shown. He’s holding a knife, there’s a hostage in a closet in the background, and the mirror by the Douches shows one of them cowering over the bloody body of the other.

Raph holds back a LOT of violent thoughts and fights temptation practically every day, so it’s like a little glimpse into those.

3 - Chester’s song is one I’m sure you won’t see coming:

Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk

Now this is way out of the usual audio aesthetic I would go for for him, but for some reason this song always makes me think of Chester working on something. The way the order of the words jumps around reminds me a lot of how his brain tends to work. It’s all a little chaotic and then suddenly falls into place and works~

This one would have been my biggest project here. A montage basically, images switching in and out, all showing Chester taking over and working in a lab space in Heaven after the Angels have uh, ..gone. >w>

So things that are happening here:

-Boxes fading in to existence-Chester studying some plans-He clears a space at the back and starts erecting a frame for a big machine-Chester showing Cinder around as she helps to bring even more boxes in.-Curtain appears over one of those observation windows (he keeps seeing/imagining angels looking through at him when he’s working)-And then, more and more work on the machine~

4 - Mike’s Song was The Puppet Song by Tryhardninja. It’s the only one I finished, and I absolutely love it~

(Well, Okay, my background skills were not exactly peaking >w>)

This picture just shows Mike in one of his more contemplative, somber moments. Sometimes guiding people and being there just.. doesn’t feel like enough.

((I also really like drawing him on roof edges too apparently~))

I also made a few edits on my phone, just playing around one day, so here are some of the ones that came out well!

I hope these sketches weren’t disappointing. Like I said, I would love to come back to these someday and actually draw up some stuff properly. It was just a matter of cutting the workload down.

Hopefully there’s still something here you liked! Thanks @a-simple-rper for sending these prompts in!

#a-simple-rper #Mike Luckett #mun art #Mia Greyson #Mia #Chester Meltori #Raph Thomas #long post #music meme

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sunflowerstrays · 6 years

Text

stick with me // johnny // nct // pt 2

seo young ho // johnny x reader.

words: 2.6k.

genre: fluff.

part 1 // part 3

---

“The stars are really pretty tonight,” you mumble, making Jeno and Chenle, who you had been laying between, laugh. Tonight, all of NCT had taken their dinners to the skies, and by that they ordered an insane amount of takeout food that you, Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta had barely managed to carry home, and all climbed on to the roof of the apartment block. The food has long since gone and now you all just lay in various heaps, chatting between yourself and listening to the chill hip hop playlist on Mark’s phone.

“We've been up here for almost two hours, and you've only just noticed?” Chenle giggles as Jeno pokes your side, and you roll your eyes at the two younger boys. Johnny, who lays with his hair brushing yours, twists himself on the blankets and rests his chin on his crossed arms, listening in to your conversation with the younger boys that you had somehow accidently grown closer with this last week - not that you were complaining in anyway, because they added a new laugh to your life that you realised you only had whenever with Johnny, and when he was away on trips, you needed someone to fill that gap.

“Oh shush Chenle. As a child I used to track the star constellations because I thought they were super amazing. I was just seeing some of the stars I remembered and thought they looked really incredible,” you explain, shushing the giggling boys.

The four of you look up at the sky as you point out the different patterns you can see. You explain what each of them mean, or what they symbolise, fascinating Jeno and Chenle to the point that they don't mock your ditziness anymore. Johnny just smiles, having listened to this conversation about the stars with your special star language a million times. No matter how many times he hears it, he will never be over how beautiful he thinks it is.

It's been a week since the argument with Jaehyun, and whilst you two aren't on speaking terms still, you can tolerate each others presence. Since then you've just about recovered from the cold you suffered with, that had you hidden away in your house for three days with Johnny, Jeno and Chenle showing up every day to keep you company and make sure you were eating properly whenever they had time. You were so appreciative for their attention that the final time they came round you nearly cried and blessed the stars for your friends.

You were planning to spend tonight curled up on the sofa asleep, or reading at least, but when Johnny had asked if you had wanted to come over you dropped all of your boring plans at a second's notice for this. Now, laying surrounded by your favourite people on this planet brings more tears to your eyes.

“I'm going to grab another drink,” you finally decide, asking the boys if anyone wanted another one. Most of them accept, so many to the point that you'll have to make about three trips up and down the fire escape to carry them all.

“I'll help,” Jaehyun says, jumping up before anyone else can offer. You let out a tight breath and give him a shielded smile as you head towards the stairs, reading to throw yourself down them rather than chat with Jaehyun. Suddenly you wish you were back with Johnny, preferably hidden from Jaehyun’s view behind him - with your best friend being so ridiculously tall and broad, it made that task very easy.

Instead you climb down the stairs as quickly as you can, through the open window and into the silent apartment. Your coat and blankets lay on the table, and you grab them before piling them on the table. When you spin to go to the fridge you see Jaehyun has already beaten you, only he’s leaning against it and not actually helping in anyway.

“We kind of need to get in there,” you say tightly, and Jaehyun shuts his eyes as he takes in a sharp breath.

“You ignore me for a week, and now that we have a chance to talk, this is what you say to me,” he snaps, making you flinch involuntarily. The thought of anyone raising their voice at you makes you freak out, especially in an argument. Jaehyun notices this, and immediately his expressing melts away into something that used to make your heart hammer like mad.

“If you remember correctly, the reason we aren’t talking is because of how selfish you acted. You don’t just throw people’s feelings around like that! It’s so… cruel,” you say, stepping to face him.

“It was wrong of me, y/n, and I was overly harsh to yourself, but me as well.”

“How on earth was you harsh on yourself?” You voice rises a little with each word, beginning to sound a little hysterical as you try and calm yourself. “I think you said perfectly well everything you needed to.”

“Because I miss you, y/n. I miss our late night chats and the joy of having you in my company. Having you gone has made me realise how much I need you-”

“No, don’t do this to me,” you finally interrupt, knowing if you let him continue, you will fall back into the same cycle you are desperately trying to avoid. “Please - now, I suggest you move out of the way so I can get to the fridge, or I’ll move you myself.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Oh, she will,” Chenle says from behind you, making you jump. Him and Jeno stand shoulder to shoulder in the doorway, and Johnny hovers at the fire escape window. “And we would help her.”

Jaehyun glances between his friends and you, and decides that another argument isn’t worth it. He steps aside, allowing you to swing the door open and let the cold air hit your face. If only you were able to hit Jaehyun’s confusing words out of your head like that. Chenle and Jeno jump to your side immediately, gathering as many drinks as you needed to grab and dashing back to the roof. Jaehyun grabs bags of food before disappearing, letting you shut the fridge and lean your forehead against it, feeling exhausted from one conversation along.

Strong arms wrap around you, and before you know it you are engulfed by Johnny and his huge sweater that is ridiculously soft against you. You suck in a sharp breath before laughing.

“Just when I thought it was done, Johnny,” you sigh, “he does this. I really hate this.”

“But you said you were completely over him,” Johnny says, a hint of panic and confusion in his tone. You look up at him, resting your chin on his chest as he closes his hands behind your back.

“And I am. One hundred and twenty percent. It’s just super annoying, more than anything,” you sigh, making Johnny breathe out and smile.

“Good,” he says, booping your nose with his hand and grinning at you. “Now, let me see your smile. I won’t let go until you do.” You give him your biggest smile, which makes him chuckle and step back as he grabs the final drinks, and you take your coat and blanket from the table.

When you climb back onto the roof, the boys have all reshuffled themselves. Chenle and Jeno, who are now joined by Yuta and Winwin, have saved you and Johnny a space, be it only a small one. Johnny sits in the gap and lets you sit between his long legs, wrapped in the coat and handing the blanket to Yuta.

Resting against his chest, you begin to fall sleepy and figure that it’s going to be another night that you spend in their room. Just as you think you are going to fall asleep, listening to Winwin and Chenle chat in Chinese about something and being able to understand parts of their conversation from your basic Chinese knowledge, your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Johnny helps by pulling it out of your coat pocket, and hands it to you to turn it on. It’s a text from Jaehyun, who sits between Mark and Taeyong with his phone in his hands, watching you carefully. Five words that seem innocent enough but make you mad at the thought of it.

Jaehyun: I’m sorry, I miss you.

You let your phone drop and rest your head against Johnny’s chest, not ready to do this today. Johnny, being the sweetheart he is, takes away your phone before wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear that if you fall asleep, that’s completely fine. You do, but with the biggest smile on your face and the warmest heart in your chest, because the love you have for your best friend is overwhelming.

---

“Johnny, we need to talk,” Yuta says, jumping on to the couch beside Johnny who had just returned from wishing most of the other members a goodbye and putting you in his bed again. The whole sleepover thing was becoming a very often occurrence and Johnny was awfully worried about the rate his feelings for you were growing - it was becoming unbearable.

The worst part was when he would lay beside you, watching your soft features glow in the moonlight, knowing he could nothing about how he was feeling, and that you had never and would never feel the same.

“Sure,” Johnny says, running a hand through his hair out of nervous habit. “What about?”

“y/n,” Yuta says, grinning at the taller boy. “What’s going on there?”

“y/n’s my best friend,” Johnny says, but Yuta just winks in response. “What? That’s all we are-”

“Someone sounds disappointed about it though,” Yuta says, stretching his arms above his head and clicking his fingers. “You wish it was more, don’t you.” At this point Johnny couldn’t lie about his feelings for you, and only hope that no one would ask. Unfortunately for him, Yuta was asking and he was not going to stop anytime soon. “You do! That's so cute - have you told y/n?”

“Sh Yuta, no! Only I think you might have,” Johnny rolls his eyes but can't help and sweat at that thought of you finding out. He prays that you are still fast asleep in his bed as Yuta screams with excitement into his fists.

“Johnny you've got to ask! You guys were a new level of cute tonight!” He squeals, making Johnny groan into a pillow. This is how his friendship with you ends - because you find out about his feelings for you through this unreasonably loud Japanese dancer.

“y/n's still getting over Jaehyun, Yuta, and doesn't that break some kind of bro code?” Johnny questions, making Yuta snort with laughter.

“Breaking the bro code is if y/n and Jaehyun had dated for like, a solid few months or years, and then you came along a week later. Jaehyun won't care - we all heard how they'd spoken the other day. There's nothing between them anymore.”

“I think he still likes y/n,” Johnny finally speaks, getting one of his fears off of his chest. “y/n is very certain that she's lost all feelings for him, but as they've disappeared I think Jaehyun had developed them.”

“Oh,” the sound that Yuta makes is very small and understanding, and just when Johnny needed something to drown out the noise in his head, Yuta falls silent. “What makes you say that?”

Johnny explains by beginning with the first radio show he had to do with Jaehyun after the argument. Off air questions involved the majority of questions being focused on you, with Jaehyun asks questions about why you had slept in his bed all night, and what was going on there. The second show was a lot sadder with questions being much more soppy and almost like he was aching from your presence being gone from his life. This matched the way he spoke to you tonight perfectly, leaving Johnny wildly confused.

“Oh, that boy is hopeless. Do you want me to speak to him, whilst you do something with all those feelings and tell y/n how you feel?”

“No!” Johnny exclaims, then wince at the volume of his voice in the otherwise silent apartment. “No. I'm just going to hide them for now.”

“The boys aren't falling for it,” Yuta shakes his hair out of his eyes and gives his taller friend a sad smile. “You keep cuddling y/n like that and shadowing every moment that y/n takes, they'll all make the connection eventually. I know Chenle and Jeno have, now just wait for the others to catch on.”

Johnny groans into his pillow and wishes he'd actually thought about the logistics of this before. It was only a matter of time before everyone knew, and that included you.

“I'm going to head downstairs now though,” Yuta says with a smile, wishing Johnny a good night. “Say something to y/n Johnny, or I will do it for you.”

Like that the Japanese boy disappears from the apartment, and Johnny retreats to his room. In his doorway he pauses to see you curled up in his sheets, shivering again. Since your last illness every time you have sneezed or winced since has filled Johnny with terror, so seeing you shivering here sends him into panicked mode.

He takes half a minute to change from his outdoor clothes into jogging bottoms, a navy shirt and sit on the side of the bed you hadn't curled up in yet.

“Johnny?” You say through mumbled sleep talk, making Johnny smile sweetly. “Is that you?”

“It's actually the Easter bunny,” Johnny says, making you open your eyes and inspect. You smile at him, eyes sparkling in the moonlight as it dances across your pale cheeks.

“You'd be a cute little bunny. Not little because you are super tall, but together we'd be the perfect pair - tall Easter bunny, cute little bunny,” you say in a tired chatter, making Johnny laugh.

“Come on, y/n, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he apologises, making you laugh into his pillow.

“I wasn't asleep properly anyway. I'm too cold,” you sulk, hair falling in your face. “Can I cuddle up to share warmth? It's science you know.”

Johnny's mind is in overdrive currently, but he lifts one of his arms and let's you crawl against his body, resting your head against his torso and wrapping his arms back around you. In a sleepy attempt at being nice you try to pull the blankets over Johnny but it doesn't work, Johnny only having half of the blanket.

“How is that, y/n?” Johnny asks, using the opportunity to brush the hair out of your eyes and watch your features shift in the low light.

“So much better, thank you,” you mumble tiredly, so close to sleep. “You are the best Johnny. Thank you.”

Johnny could almost hear Yuta calling him whipped before it had already happened, because that was the honest truth; without realising it, you had wrapped Johnny around your finger, and it was not normal for your best friend to be like that.

Loath he is to admit it, Yuta was right - Johnny would have to say something to you, or reign his feelings in before it was too late.

---

gosh i love you guys. the response for this has been so incredible and has made a tough week amazing, ilysm ♡

requests are still open ♡

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deejayers · 6 years

Note

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ AND YOU BETTER SHUFFLE UNTIL ONE OF THOSE RAPS FINALLY COMES UP XD

YOUR WISH IS MY HAPPY COMMAND! XD

I shuffled too many times to count but I finally got Born Into Tyranny by J.T. Machinima and god bless do I love this fucking song! Hands down, top favorite line in that song is

Chasing a shadow, how's that been workin'?Can't catch a Kenway, you oughta learn itHidden beneath my hood's a purposeFirst things first, get off my turf bitch

If I’m not fully appreciating that line when it hits, I start the song over because the oomph on that damn line gets me hyped every single time. *v* Idk if you’ve listened to the many AssCreed raps that J.T. Machinima have put out but if not you so need to! Hell, most all of their game music is amazing as far as I’m concerned. All raps but awesome raps. I will link Born Into Tyranny because Connor, that’s why. *w*

youtube

And cause I have nothing better to do on this lovely day off, I’m gonna pick my favorite line from the next 20 shuffles because why not!! You’re gonna get a firsthand look at my wide range of genres. xD

I’ll italicize the lyrics and add bold to the particular lines I love the most.

Amen by Halestorm

But I won't runI'm not ashamedIt's gonna take more than this for me to break

Fireborn by JT Machinima and Andrea Storm Kaden

Hold onto hope, I'm homeward boundIn the darkest of night, there's Light to be foundWhen a hero is born of fireShine through the shadow of doubt

Cradle to the Grave by Five Finger Death Punch

The soul that lives within my chest(The soul that lives within my chest)Just won't allow me to turn out like the rest(Turn out like the rest)This heart that's driving me on and on and on(On and on and on)Has the same vision and it keeps me fucking strong

Bulletproof by Aviators

You can shoot me down, but you're never gonna hide the truth'Cause words are bulletproof

The Only One by Ra

So you just sit there stuckAfraid to risk realityThose words are mineAnd you can find them deep inside of me

Assassin’s Creed Rap Megamix by JT Machinima (fuck yeah, two of them!!!!)

I'm planting the seedOf the family treeBy my hand, minds are freedNot a man, I'm a creed

Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi

We've got to hold on to what we've gotIt doesn't make a difference if we make it or notWe've got each other and that's a lot for loveWe'll give it a shot

Faithless by Black Veil Brides

Live with defianceIt's time to fightDon't ever let them keep your words from being heard

Let It Go by George Strait (I couldn’t pick a single line in particular cause I just love the whole message of this song |D)

You never knowWhat’s waiting just up the roadSooner or later that sun’s gonna shineLuck will turn on a dimeSo when the good times roll let ‘em rollBut when they don’tLet it go

Move on, keep moving ‘til you see the lightThe one that you’ve been waiting onShining bright in the nightSaying hey there friend where the hell have you been

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Mama, oh oh Didn't mean to make you cryIf I'm not back again this time tomorrowCarry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain

Any man of mine better walk the lineBetter show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda timeI need a man who knows, how the story goes

Bad Moon by Hollywood Undead

So take my hand nowI'll welcome you to my bad dreamUp in the clouds nowThat bad moon comes, and it grabs me

Guys Do It All The Time by Mindy McCready (pretty much the whole chorus is amazing so I won’t bold any of this one lmao I’d have to bold it all)

Guys do it all the timeAnd you expect us to understandWhen the shoe's on the other footYou know that's when it hits the fanGet over it, honey, life's a two way streetOr you won't be a man of mineSure I had some beers with the girls last nightGuys do it all the time

You look like you just took a long look in the mirrorTell me baby if things don't look a whole lot clearer

You Can Hang by JT Machinima

C'mon team, it's a four-on-oneSo until you stop breathing - you're not doneThank God this job comes with a lot of perksWhen you're stuck with a bunch of punks who don't wanna work'Cause we all got chores, let's do a little more pleaseI feel like a single mother - call me Mrs. VoorheesUsed to hide, now I thrive as a fighterDestiny's Child - I'm a survivor

Sick Individual by Halestorm

'Cause I'm a sick individualAnd I'm doing this thing called whatever the fuck I want, want, wantI'm unusualAin't taking no shit, gonna drink this sip 'till I'm gone, gone, goneI'm livin' it up, not giving a whatI'm livin' it up, not giving a whatSick individualAnd I'm doing this thing called whatever the fuck I want

Hypnotized by Set It Off (I have a burning love for this song for reasons pertaining to my brother’s ex-wife. I’d love to dedicate it to her.)

Listen carefully (Shhh)I know it’s hard for you (I know)You’re not quite used to vulgarity and verbal abuse (Get ready)Well first off fuck you and what you represent

Who’s Laughing Now by From Ashes to New

Back to the wall, I was afraid to act outFeeling so small, I'm scared and trapped, nowI'm standing up tall and don't plan to back down

Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

He looks like a cool drink of waterBut he's candy-coated miseryHe's the devil in disguiseA snake with blue eyesAnd he only comes out at night

Muckalee Creek Water by Luke Bryan

I'm free, and I'm meBeing everything that I wanna beNobody jacking with me,No sign of the city lightsHell with the city lights!

Independent Women, Pt. 1 by Destiny’s Child

I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I getLadies, it ain't easy being independentQuestion, how'd you like this knowledge that I broughtBragging on that cash that he gave you is to frontIf you're gonna brag make sure it's your money you flauntDepend on no-one else to give you what you want

Okay so this was a lot of fun and I thoroughly enjoyed shuffling around my playlist even if it did pull up a lot of the same bands. XD I had to do some extra shuffling so it wasn’t the same band or artist in a row a few good times. Like, I have a ton of Halestorm, FFDP, Luke Bryan, JT Machinima, George Strait, and Set It Off, amongst others. They kept popping up so I had to reshuffle. I hope you enjoy looking through this list of random ass songs and chunks of lyrics! XD

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cd-head · 2 years

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YOURE NOT IN ON THE JOKE ONE OF THE TOP TEN COBRA STARSHIP SONGS EVERRRRRRR like . it has NO right soundin like that . i think the guitar especially here like,,, holy fcucking shit . n i think gabe sounds super sweet here . bro sounds like an angel fr . not even kiddin like oh no i jus lost internet . um . well thats kinda awkward . um . damn . my playlist is gonna reshuffle now . if i have to listen to a sogn a second time i WILL end it all btw . slash jay . um . huh .

hm.

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lavieendonna · 7 years

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Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum AU (Chapter 23)

Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA - makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the semester learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.

Date: 22 March 2018 Requested: honestly i should just get rid of this bit Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 3.9K Warnings: familial turmoils, an underwhelming coming out story, and a fuck tonne of crying. A/N: Honestly i’m not even going to apologise for this chapter. This is the Big One i’ve been waiting to write since the beginning basically so like. Please let me know what you think. This story isn’t anywhere near finished. Stay with me, & Big love xo

Ask | Masterlist | ‘Brushwork’ Spotify Playlist | Next Chapter | ‘Brushwork’ News

Chapter 23: I Felt So Unhelpful. Like, I Felt ‘Supportive Facebook Message When Everyone Finds Out Somebody Has Cancer’ Level Unhelpful.

After coming to the conclusion that Ashton was right about me needing to apologise to my sister, I didn’t really do anything about it for days – nearly a week, actually. It wasn’t that I was too proud or spiteful or anything, I was just embarrassed and I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. So instead of actively seeking her out like I should have, I spent those days dancing around Polly and Calum, barely making it to any of my classes, and kind of avoiding Luke, too, even though he’d done literally nothing wrong. Turns out, I became an even shittier person after finding out that I was already a shitty person.

It took me a while, but eventually I plucked up the courage to at least text Belle. I didn’t really say much, knowing she wasn’t going to forgive me that easy. How did I know that? Because we were sisters, and I wouldn’t have forgiven anyone that easy, either. If Polly – or even Belle, for that matter – tried to pull that shit from the other night and then said ‘sorry’ through a text message, I would one hundred per cent tell them exactly where to stick that ‘sorry’ and it wouldn’t be anywhere pretty.

I asked Belle if she wanted to come over and talk. She replied around ten minutes later that she was actually already on her way over and the all of a sudden, I cared about what the apartment looked like. There were dishes everywhere, clothes strewn across the place and bits of paper and miscellaneous unfinished art pieces on the floor. I knew that Belle wouldn’t have been far away, either, so like someone had lit a fire under my ass I scrambled. I collected all of the week-old dishes across the place and washed them in the sink and, somehow, I even had enough time to dig out the vacuum cleaner that I usually forgot that I owned.

After around half an hour everything looked almost too clean, so I did what I could to reshuffle the clutter on the benches and coffee table to make it look like I hadn’t just spent those thirty minutes cleaning for my sister – of all people. She wasn’t going to give a shit what my place looked like, so I wasn’t really sure why I did. But I felt like maybe if I did this, if I could inject any kind of positivity into any space I could reach then maybe having Belle come over wouldn’t end in a total disaster. Or, at least, not as big of a disaster as the last time I saw her.

My heart practically stopped when I heard the knock on the door. It was unfamiliar; I was used to Isabelle just barging into my apartment whenever she visited. But this time I was almost convinced it wasn’t even her, just bad on the fact that the knock was so slow and hesitant. But I wasn’t expecting anybody else (not that I ever had guests that often) so it had to have been her anyway.

It was, and when I swung the door open she was a wreck. She looked like she hadn’t stopped crying since last week. Her eyes were so red and raw that I barely recognised them, her cheeks splotchy and puffy and her hair an absolute mess. She wore what looked like an attempt at normal-people clothes, but the blue flannel shirt was kind of falling off of one shoulder and one side of her jeans was rolled up significantly higher than the other above her ankles, the jandals on her feet slipped over odd socks. Seeing her like this didn’t make me feel good the way seeing Polly like this did; my heart was breaking for my sister already.

I didn’t really greet her with words, I just pulled her inside the door and enveloped her in a hug and she squeezed me so tight that I almost couldn’t breathe. But I let her. I thought back to what Ashton had said about her needing me, and it was this moment before we’d even spoken that I realised that Isabelle didn’t just need me right now – she needed me more than I needed her.

“I’m so sorry, B.” I told her quietly as she let go of me. I watched her bottom lip quiver and I thought she my cry. But she didn’t, not yet anyway.

“Me too.” She practically whispered back. She was so distracted, her eyes darting from place to place while she stood awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to the other. If I’d seen her this way before everything that happened I would have thought she was on drugs or something. There was just something else pressing on her mind and I didn’t know how to go about getting her to open up to me.

Whenever Belle and I came together in a time of crisis, it was almost always my crisis. Belle was always the one who took care of me when I thought the world was falling apart, so having her here barely breathing in front of me was something almost entirely new for me to experience. I tried to tap into everything she’d done for me, trying to remember the process she and I went through to get out of the hole I’d dug for myself. I needed to be the strong one today, even if I had to make it up.

“Sit down.” I said, standing up taller and gesturing my sister toward the (freshly vacuumed) couch. “I’ll get us a drink.” It was literally barely ten thirty in the morning, but I found two bottles of Corona in the fridges and grabbed them anyway. Beer wasn’t going to solve any of our problems, but it sure as shit wasn’t going to make them any worse, either. Belle chuckled a little when I handed her one and we both tapped the lips of each bottle together in a toast, taking a sup before we both grimaced violently.

“I hate beer.” I somewhat coughed out, disgusted. Belle nodded in agreement while I sat down.

“Same.” She said, and then we both took another swig, our post-beer expressions not as bad this time. Belle still looked lost and sad, though, so I put my drink down on the coffee table and swivelled on the couch next to her so I could face her straight on.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked bluntly. We had to start the dreaded conversation eventually. I didn’t want to be stuck in this endless loop of purgatory with her. We were sisters – it shouldn’t have had to be like that.

“Yeah.” She said quietly taking a moment to clear her throat and take a deep breath. I gave her time and didn’t push, because forcing her to talk wasn’t going to help.

“I, um.” She started peeling at the sticker on her beet bottle. “I dropped out of law school.” Belle confessed, and I just stared at her blankly because that was not at all where I thought she was going with this, nor did I think that’s what she’d come all this way to tell me.

“I’m sorry, what?” I kind of bumbled out. Belle nodded, lips pursed and her eyes not meeting mine for longer than a second at a time.

“Yeah…” She seemed to hum out. “I, uh, dropped out of law school.”

I felt like that was a very simple statement, but I was really struggling to understand why in the hell Belle would have done something so… life-changing. My sister and I were different in almost every way, but I knew that neither of us liked change. We liked routine and did not enjoy harsh changes like dropping out of fucking law school. And besides that, she was good at it! And I thought law was something she wanted more than anything.

“Uh?!” I made a face, eyes wild and eyebrows where beyond the earth’s atmosphere. “When? And why?!”

To my complete and absolute shock, Isabelle started to laugh. She snorted, the way us James women did, and then let a giggle bubble on her chapped lips until she couldn’t stop.

“Seriously, B, what the fuck?!” I started to laugh too, and when Belle finally looked at me she was almost in tears from laughing so much.

“I tried to join the circus!” She cackled, it took me a couple of extra seconds to really catch what she’d said.

“The…circus?!” I spluttered out, and all Belle could do was laugh even more. I let out a loud snort and threw my head back, clutching my sides in a fit of amusement. Isabelle was as averted to exercise and teamwork as I was, so the idea of her doing somersaults and attempting the splits was absolutely hilarious to me.

“B, what the fuck?!” I giggled out again, wiping at my eyes while the pair of us tried as hard as we could to stop laughing.

“I–!” B tried to calm down, breathing in and out and dabbing her sleeve under her eyes, too. “It was like a year ago.” She giggled. “I’d been taking these acrobatics classes and my instructor said I was getting really good. One day the Russian circus came through so my friends and I – the other girls from the class – we all decided to go together, and D!” Belle was smiling at me, lips spread wide as she reminisced. “Dal, it was incredible.”

Belle went away for a little bit, after we’d stopped giggling enough for her to tell her story. I watched as she got lost in the memory, and part of me wished I could have been there with her to see what she was seeing. The other part of me kind of felt like I was intruding, just a little bit. I shifted, pulling my legs up on the couch so I could cross them under me.

“What happened?” I asked, prompting Belle to continue and brought her back to earth. Her expression grew sad again, and the humour in the room was long gone.

“We, uh.” She exhaled, almost like she was defeated already, and then took another swig from her drink as I did the same. “We found the manager. He didn’t speak a whole lot of English but we convinced him to let us… I dunno, audition, I guess.”

I arched my brow at my sister, still very confused as to how far along down the law school line she’d decided that she wanted to join the circus. I had so many questions, and I felt like I was fighting with myself not to interrupt. But I didn’t say anything, I just promised myself to just wait ‘til Belle was done before I did.

“I… I was going to run away with the Russian Circus.” Belle said again with a heavy sigh. “I thought that it would solve all of my problems and be a hell of a lot more fun that law school. But I wasn’t good enough. I mean, the manager said I was great and the other girls – the trapeze girls – they loved me. But I just… I wasn’t there yet. I didn’t have the experience or the years of practise they did, and the Russians didn’t have enough space to carry around dead weight, you know?”

I felt so unhelpful. Like, I felt ‘supportive Facebook message when everyone finds out somebody has cancer’ level unhelpful. I’d had no idea that Belle was struggling with anything, let alone that she was struggling with being rejected from the Russian fucking Circus. She’d been doing this all on her own and I’d done nothing to help.

“B?” I looked at my sister, just one question coming to mind as I watched her long for something she couldn’t have. “Belle, why do you want to run away?”

As if I’d said the magic words, Belle started to cry again. For real this time, her shoulders shaking and her eyes squeezed shut behind her hands that were covering her face. I wanted to reach out to her, to just hold her tight until all of the hurt that she was feeling went away. But I was wiping away my own slow tears, now, and Belle looked like she was fighting. I could feel her trembling beside me and somehow, I just knew that her fight right now was with herself, to do this one last thing on her own.

“I’m here, B.” I said to her quietly, reminding her. “Just tell me what’s wrong.” Belle sobbed, and she did for a few more moments before she could even attempt to speak again.

“Dal, I’m… I-I…” Her lip trembled again and her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Whatever words she was trying to get out, they were fighting her back. It was hurting me how hard this was for her – it was hurting that my own twin sister was finding it so hard to open up like this with me. I wiped at my face again, and dragged the sleeve of my hoodie across my nose ungracefully. I should have grabbed the tissues before I sat down.

“You’re what, B?” I felt like I was begging her. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m gay!” Belle finally blurted out, panting afterwards, almost hyperventilating as if it had taken literally every last bit of energy she had to say it.

“…what?” My eyes went wide once again, though there was no comprehension in them. Belle wasn’t sobbing anymore, but she was still wiping away tears and trying to control her breathing.

“I’m gay, Dallas.” She said again. “I… I’ve been so lost trying to figure it out. And when I did I-I just…: She gave a wild shrug, looking down to her fingers. “I thought running away with the circus would just fix everything. Running away from law school could have meant… running from this a-and just being someone else.”

“But…” I paused to wipe my face again, trying as hard as I could to control the confusion I had and trying to choose my words carefully so I didn’t make this about me. Because as upset as I was that my sister was too scared to confused to tell me her life secrets, this was about her coming to terms with them herself. “Wait, what about Ashton?” I asked. “I thought…?”

Isabelle shook her head as she took another long drink from her beer, nearly finishing it.

“It… it was never about Ashton.” She said quietly, once again refusing to look at me. “I… I mean he liked me but I –” she kind of choked on her words a bit, but she coughed back the hesitation and took a deep breath. “I-I had to tell him because this was about Polly.” I blinked at my sister. She looked up me for just a second and I saw nothing but complete fear in her eyes.

“Polly?” I squeaked out, and I was a little scared now, too. Isabelle nodded but didn’t elaborate on that, just staring at me intently with watery eyes, silently willing me to put the pieces together sooner. “Why would…?” I thought backwards, going through everything that had happened. B’s confession, Ashton being allusive, B being upset that Ashton had hurt Polly…

“You like Polly.” I peeped out as the penny dropped.

Belle closed her eyes, tears trekking down her cheeks still. This was all because Belle had feelings for Polly, not Ashton. And she’d told Ashton first, instead of me, because I wasn’t there for her. She never would have had to battle this on her own if I’d just done my fucking job as her sister and just been there for her. I launched myself at my sister, throwing my arms around her neck and pulling her to me while I broke. I couldn’t stop thinking about how lonely she must have felt; how I failed her so much that she thought the solution to all of this would have been to run away with foreigners.

“I am so sorry, B!” I was telling her again, weeping into her shoulder and hugging her so tight I thought she might burst. I was trembling with apologies, the words barely audible. And Belle was holding me just as tight, both of us kind of just trying to keep each other from falling apart even more. “I didn't know, I-I! I wish you’d told me, Belle. I could’ve…!”

“There was nothing for you to do for me, D…” She whispered in my ear. I pulled back, cupping her face in my hands and forcing her to look me in the eye. He cheeks were sticky and wet but I ignored it because I needed her to look at me and believe me.

“I could have been better.” I said carefully, firmly. “I should have been better. Everything you said to me, you were right, B.” B shook her head at me again, taking my hands from her face so she could hold them in her lap.

“Everything I said to you, Dallas, came from a dark, hurting place.” She told me just as carefully. “And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, because I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, not like that.” I took one of my hands back to wipe my nose, and Belle did the same before she let out a sigh and squeezed my other hand, staring at me as if she could see something that I couldn’t.

“I’m... I’m so jealous of you, D.” She said to me quietly. I made a face of disbelief, staring at my sister like she’d sprouted a second head.

“Why?” I asked my voice thick with humour, but also disgust. Belle shrugged and offered a small smile.

“Because,” She said, and we paused so that we could twist and sit next to each other properly, Belle pulling me under her arm and hugging me to her closely. I don’t think it was so she could comfort me, it was more for herself. “Ever since we were kids, D, you’ve known exactly who you were and who you wanted to be. You’ve never been anybody but yourself.”

“But myself is a mess.” I tried to argue, but when I looked up at B she was just rolling her eyes.

“Maybe. But even when you think you’re a mess, at least you’re a hundred per cent sure that you’re a mess.” She clarified, and I just shut my mouth because she was kind of right. I’d always been more than a hundred per cent sure that I was Anxiety on Legs – I wasn’t proud of that, but it was true.

“You are – and have always been – destined for greatness, sis.” She said softly. “And if I could have half of that guaranteed for me then I’d be happy.”

“You were destined for greatness too, B.” I told her, hugging her back and hoping like hell that she could feel that I was here now and wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. “You’re destined for a different kind of greatness, but we’re going to do it together, okay?”

After a few more tears and a few more laughs and after B and I really sorted out what page we were on, we cleaned ourselves up and put on some fresh clothes. We didn’t plan on going anywhere or doing anything, but we smelt like beer and snot and it was not a good look. I help Belle untangle her hair and she helped me find the missing sweat pants she liked to borrow when she was over. Eventually we found ourselves in the kitchen cooking dinner, Belle stirring pasta over the stove while I microwave-cooked some fresh cheese sauce to go with it. Mac and Cheese was our soul food – the food that could solve all the problems and end every world war if The People let it.

“Hey D,” She asked over her shoulder while pulled the sauce out of the microwave and swore under my breath when the glass bowl burnt my fingertips to a crisp. “How’re things with Calum?”

I was hoping she wouldn’t ask. Truth was I had no idea how things were going because I hadn’t seen him in days.

“Uh.” I cleared my throat awkwardly while I mixed the half-done sauce. “It’s not, really. I haven’t really seen him.”

“Really?” She sounded sad, and I wished she wouldn’t. I spent enough of my own time being sad about missing Calum, I didn’t need her to give me The Eyes, too. “Why?”

I thought back the last time I’d spoken to Calum and grimaced at the memory.

“I uh. I kinda told him to get out of my face…”

I felt a sharp blow to my arm and I yelped.

“What the fuck would you do that for?!” Belle scolded me. I rubbed the red spot on the arm where she’d wacked me with the pasta stirrer.

“First of all, ow!” I snapped. “And second, I didn’t want him to get any more… involved. Pushing him away was just easier. He already thought that’s what I was doing so I just…” I gave a shrug, turning away from my sister so I could take a breath. “

“D, you gotta fix that.” Belle told me when I turned back to put the bowl back in the microwave. “You gotta apologise; you two were made for each other.” I snorted.

“After what he said to me? Yeah right.” I said, and I could feel the leftover anger bubbling over in my gut a little bit. Belle just gave me a look. The side-long kind that really didn’t approve.

“And you’re telling me you didn’t tell him anything that was hurtful either?” She threw at me and I opened my mouth to defend myself but I knew that she was right – as usual.

“Yeah, I know, I just…!” I sighed.

“You just what?!” B asked, thoroughly unimpressed with the way I had handled this. She was almost back to normal now, it was scary.

“Yes, I’m angry that he said I was selfish and conceited and that I pushed people away. But I’m… I-I’m mostly angry that I made him feel that way about me. I was supposed to… be different. I liked him. I do like him.”

B seemed to sigh, shifting her weight so that she could lean on the benchtop, hip popped and her hand balled at her waist.

“You need to fix this.” She told me again. “If you just explain it the way you just did and apologise for being a dick, he’ll forgive you.

“And what if he doesn’t?” I challenged. “Then what am I supposed to do?” Belle rolled her eyes at me and went back to stirring the pasta.

“He likes you, Dallas.” She said very matter-of-factly. “He’ll forgive you.”

I huffed. Just thinking about it all was making my heart race.

“I think… I think I just need to sort myself out first.” I said, and I was pretty sure I was pulling some excuse out of my ass so I could stall this much-needed apology and go a little longer avoiding Calum. “If I can just get sorted here and get in the right mind space… maybe it’ll be okay, you know?” Belle groaned.

“You are so full of shit.” She said. I wacked her this time, with my own stirring spoon and left a big white splat on her clean shirt.

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patchdotexe · 4 years

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im current being reminded that my work is never finished bc i had a johndon playlist good-to-go except for cover art & actually compiling it onto 8tracks when i suddenly added 4 new songs to it and now i have to reshuffle it

#leo chirps #txt #leo.txt

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onenightandgone · 7 years

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Mind’s Eye - Chapter Three

Chapter Three Mutant!AU KaixSehunxReader

The walk home from the park became tense when Sehun trailing behind Kai and you became Sehun walking beside you. He glanced at you briefly, prompting a smile from you.

His large hand rested on your back. You closed your eyes when his thumb rubbed in an arc over your shirt. Your blush burned hot, and you hid your face in Kai's shoulder.

Suddenly Kai hopped and adjusted his hold on your legs. His back tense against your chest, and you felt his jaw clench where your wrists joined underneath it.

'What's wrong?' you asked quietly.

'Since when are you shy with us?' Kai said. He looked ahead to purposefully avoid Sehun and increased the speed of his strides.

Your smile disappeared along with the reassuring touch on your back. Sehun shoved in his hands in his pockets, biting his lip wistfully.

You didn't think you had done anything wrong, but the suddenness and veiled accusation in Kai's words kept you silent. He must have felt the weight of your silence because his tone changed rapidly.

'It – it's okay,' Kai said. 'You're cute when you're shy.'

Sehun's eyebrow flew up and his expression spoke volumes.

'Oh,' you heard yourself squeak. 'Thanks.'

The next few moments were awkward and silent as both you and Kai searched for something to say to change the course of the conversation. Sehun stood by with bewildered amusement.

'You know,' Kai began, 'we could get there a lot quicker if you would just let me - '

'No,' you cut him off firmly. 'I came to the park with Sehun, and I'm going home with Sehun.’

Sehun let out a soft 'hmph' of satisfaction.

'And me,' Kai said.

You looked at him curiously.

'You're going home with Sehun – and me,' he insisted.

'And you,' you conceded with a laugh. 'But besides that, we don't even know if that would work, if teleporting more than yourself is possible.'

Kai shrugged, but the sound of your laughter had had a positive effect, lightening the mood.

He chatted with you amicably for the rest of the walk home, while Sehun stayed kept to himself. His characteristic smile made a few rare appearances however. He didn't notice that you had noticed, but you were happy that you had.

You did your best to memorize what it looked like – the way the branches made shadows on his long, chiseled features. The smile alone shone enough light to chase all nearby darkness away.

You were shaken out of your reverie when Kai started to stand up straight and you started to slide off of him. A tiny squeal escaped from your mouth, and you clung to his shoulders. Your toes hit the ground at an unexpected angle and you almost fell backwards.

A pair of strong hands kept you from completely collapsing.

'I've got you,' Sehun said softly.

You leaned against him while you tried to convince your arms to unlock from Kai's neck.

'I'm okay, I'm okay,' you said, more to yourself than either of them. Finally, you let go of Kai.

He laughed right before disappearing into thin air.

You sighed and exchanged meaningful looks with Sehun.

The rest of the afternoon was a steady stream of movies, sharing favourite playlists, and getting some work done.

You made yourself a steady pillar on the recliner with your blanket and your laptop, perusing medical journals that had been forwarded to you. Your job as a freelance journalist allowed you the privilege of working from home for the most part. You had to make an appearance at staff meetings in the office periodically, but these were easy enough to get through. Your main column was on the latest developments on scientific and medical technology.

You began to make notes on recent progress in artificially editing human genomes. There was wide debate on the moral implications, as well as to what the advantages and future consequences could be. You had gotten halfway through outlining the piece, just as Sehun and Kai grew bored with their video game.

A sudden weight pinned down the blanket over your legs. A pair of eyes appeared over your laptop screen.

'Yes?' you said, amused.

'Poker?' Kai asked. The playful pout on his lips was evident without having to see it.

'Really? We haven't played that in forever. Ever since-'

'Ever since I got fed up and sent all the chips flying in a tornado?' Sehun said. He sat at the kitchen table in his patented dealer's fedora, shuffling the cards expertly.

'The hat-' you began.

'Right. He got the hat out. That means you don't have a choice and the stakes are official,' Kai interrupted earnestly.

You sighed in resignation and closed your laptop. You were satisfied with your progress anyway. They were finally getting along, and that wasn't an opportunity you wanted to pass up.

'And my popcorn?' you asked with a teasing tone.

A familiar beep sounded from the microwave, and Kai stood with an excited smile.

'Just needs a bowl,' he said, turning around and disappearing with a pop. 'Come on, let's play!' he called from the kitchen.

Sehun was shuffling until Kai materialized behind him and coughed loudly. Sehun started, lost his rhythm and scattered the cards all over the table. His mouth opened into a whine, but you interceded before it could vocalize.

'Oh, that's my technique,' you said with a laugh.

Sehun shook his head in amused disbelief, gathering up the cards and reshuffling.

Kai pushed the bowl of popcorn across the table to you and watched you keenly until you took the first few pieces and ate them. Sehun began dealing.

'Here,' you said, leaning forward in your chair. You reached up to his hat and he held perfectly still with a curious smile on his face. You adjusted it so that it hung at an angle over his forehead. 'There. All you need now is a cigar and some flappers.'

'Are you volunteering?' Kai winked and picked up his cards. That was the moment that you lost Sehun, who scoffed at the other's words. The curious smile from just a few moments ago faded quickly.

Was it just your imagination or did the room seem to dim slightly, like some of the light had gone out of it?

You tried to shake the feeling off.

Poker had never been your strong suit, even with the fair amount of luck involved in winning, but you played anyway because Kai and Sehun enjoyed it immensely. It gave them a way to work off the competitive edges that lead to them clashing. Now however, with the way Sehun regarded Kai with defiance, and Kai's jaw clenched as he stood his ground, you knew you were in for the long, grueling haul.

They couldn't risk any physical or monetary values because neither of them had bank accounts. As far as the government and financial institutions were concerned, neither of them existed. So of course, their betting system was different too. They each kept a pad of sticky notes on which they wrote their bets, such as a task or punishment that the other would have to complete or a privilege for themselves.

Your punishments often involved doing favours for them, like buying them new things or taking them somewhere fun - things you would have done for them anyway had they only asked.

Usually the game would start off lightheartedly with some nonsensical, noncommittal bets, but today had been far from usual. With the murderous glances being thrown like darts across the table, there was no way to predict how events were going to unfold.

Kai looked at his cards, and immediately slammed them back down. Sehun and you both watched as he started scribbling on the first sticky note, bent over so far that his face was an inch from the table. He sat back up a few seconds later and folded the note in half. He stared back, glancing back and forth between you and Sehun.

'What are you looking at? It's not even my turn yet,' Kai said. He shot a pointed look directly at you. 'It is your turn though.'

You shook yourself out of your strange, observatory reverie and picked up your cards. A queen of spades and a three of hearts – not the end of the world. You threw a plastic chip into the undefined pot in the middle of the table. You put down your cards neatly and smiled at Kai with an air of false innocence.

'Now it's your turn,' you stated, crossing your arms.

Kai smirked and tried to contain the streak of delight that fluttered in his eyes. He could always read you so well.

'Your poker face is so adorable,' he cooed.

'Oh my god,' Sehun said with a sigh. He put down his own cards and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'What?' He turned to Sehun. 'Isn't her poker face adorable? You can't say that it's not.'

You chuckled to yourself at what you summed up to be his curious method of playing the game.

'Quit trying to distract me and play,' Sehun demanded. 'I know you're dying to tell us your bet.'

Kai shrugged and leaned back in his chair lazily. He unfolded the sticky note slowly, checking to make sure that he was annoying Sehun.

'I see your bet, Y/N,' he said, one corner of his mouth curled into an unavoidable smile. 'And I raise it one day.' He tossed the note on top of your chip.

'One day?' Sehun snatched the small blue paper and scanned it quickly.

'One day,' Kai repeated. 'I get to spend one day of my choosing with Y/N - without you. You don't show your face at all from midnight to midnight. No talking to us, no lightly sending a breeze to remind her you exist – one whole day with just her and me.'

Sehun's jaw dropped at the audacity of his gamble. He spent a few seconds trying to gather his thoughts enough to speak.

'Kai,' you said, your tone embedded with a gentle warning. You weren't sure if what he wanted was even possible. Could you send one away without the other? You had never tried before.

There had been past moments where something bad had happened to you, and the two of them would try too hard to cheer you up. They would end up simply annoying you instead, prompting you to temporarily banish both their presences from your primary consciousness. The next time you allowed them to appear included a lot of apologizing and groveling, promising that they wouldn't do it again as long as you let them stay.

Or one of them would leave voluntarily. But those days were few and far between.

Sehun threw down the bet with disgust. He bent down and wrote the same thing on his notepad. He ripped it off and dropped it poignantly in the centre of the table.

'Call,' he said defiantly, matching it evenly.

Sehun flipped the three cards in the middle, revealing a jack of diamonds, a seven of clubs, and a two of hearts. Completely useless to you so far.

You watched Kai carefully, trying to read any sort of reaction. But he was too good at this part of the game, and he looked back blankly. He made it impossible to gauge anything from him.

Sehun stared down at his cards and put up his impenetrable walls of focus. You tried to do the same when his foot nudged yours under the table. Was he trying to reassure you or remind you that it was your turn?

You sighed and threw another chip in. Playing poker with these two was like shooting blank rounds at a gun range, like you were just a spectator after all and they were the only ones actually playing.

Kai nodded absentmindedly and added a chip of his own.

At this point, the chips and bets had become a formality. The stakes had already been raised as high as either of them wanted them to go, and the prize of the game had been set.

Sehun added his own chip without hesitation. He didn't waste any more time before dealing the next middle card. A four of spades.

You sighed in resentment at your useless hand.

'I fold,' you said sadly, but neither of them reacted. They were completely enraptured in the hand.

Kai set down his cards and added three chips. He exhaled loudly and sat back in a display of confidence. He snuck you a wink before putting up his stone-faced disguise.

Of course, Sehun did the same. He exchanged focusing on the cards for intimidation tactics and glared scathingly at Kai, who didn't flinch or betray any sort of concern.

There was a silent pause before Sehun turned over the last card in the middle. Only then did Kai reveal a full-on smirk, the fire dancing in his eyes as he saw the jack of clubs.

He took a deep breath and stayed, not adding anymore to the pot. Sehun copied, neither giving an inch.

Kai laid down his hand face-up. His eyes didn't leave your face as he turned over the jack of spades and the two of clubs.

'Full house,' he said with a victorious smile.

Sehun groaned and showed his own hand. You didn't know whether to be relieved or apprehensive when you saw the seven of hearts and the two of diamonds.

'Oh, two pairs, too bad!' Kai teased. 'Not good enough.'

Sehun flew to his feet and stormed away. The upset weighed heavily on his shoulders as he closed your bedroom door behind him.

You looked at Kai tentatively. He winked and smiled.

'Don't worry, we'll have fun,' he promised.

One part of you was looking forward to the time alone with him, but the other half of you dreaded the hurt that had been dealt to Sehun. Would you be able to send him away? You doubted your own will and your own desires.

Maybe you didn't want him to go away.

What did you want then?

'I should go check on him,' you said quietly. You slid off the chair and made your way down the hall.

The arrogant energy emanating from Kai quickly dissipated, and his wide eyes burned into your back as they followed your motion down the hall.

You knocked on the door softly and let yourself in.

Sehun had situated himself on your bed, wedging himself against the wall. He played with his hands anxiously.

'What do you want?' he asked lowly. There was a high pitch wavelength to his voice; he wasn't ok.

'Why did you bet him?' you said. You made your way over to him and sat beside him, crossing your legs at the ankles. You looked at him sadly; you couldn’t stand when either of them was feeling down. 'You knew what could happen.'

Sehun looked up, stricken with hurt.

'I knew what I was doing,' he said slowly. 'I thought that just maybe – maybe I could win.'

You reached into his lap without thinking and took his hand.

Sehun gasped softly. The usual feeling of him being here, but yet far away was gone. You could feel the details of him, the bumps on his skin that rose under your touch, and the warmth flowing through his arms. He was close, you were close to him.

'Sehun...' you began, but let your voice trail off. The words you needed were gone, replaced only by sensation and the strange desire that you shared.

It pulled him off the wall, and he angled himself towards you. His long fingers dragged clumsily through your hair, pushing it behind your ear and out of his way. Sehun's jaw slackened as he tried to figure out what was happening, but the same force seemed to bring him closer. His face drew downwards, now an inch from yours, and an arm slipped around your back.

Your hands rested on his chest. His heartbeat greeted the gentle pressure your provided.

He whispered your name lowly, pressing his forehead against yours. His scent enveloping you.

The strength of all of this was overwhelming and forced your eyes closed as you tried to decipher your senses. Each one of them spoke of Sehun.

The sharp knock on the door pulled you back apart. The cold air rushed over you, and you shivered as you let go of each other.

The door opened, and Kai made his appearance. He leaned against the doorframe.

'I just thought you should know,' he said without introduction. 'I'll take good care of her, just like you would. You don't have to worry.'

Sehun climbed off the bed and folded his arms over his chest.

'So you think you can just start being responsible all of a sudden? It doesn't work like that,' he said sternly. 'And tomorrow is a big deal. You have to go with her to the doctor's, make sure she answers all the questions, make sure to remember any instructions they give, any medicine.'

'I can do that,' Kai said confidently. His chest puffed out and he stood tall. He met Sehun's eyes without backing down.

'I am capable of taking care of myself,' you interjected. Why did you feel like a child suddenly?

'You weren't even going to go to the doctor's before I did anything,' Sehun stated before turning back to Kai. 'Maybe you should pick another day to spend your voucher on.'

'No,' Kai refused. 'No, I'm going to go with her and I'm going to take care of her. You'll see.'

Kai turned on his heel and dissipated completely.

Sehun sighed tiredly, running his fingers through his hair. He turned around and perched on the edge of the bed, looking at you seriously.

'You have to let him try at least,' you said. Kai had never been tested with any sort of responsibility like this before. Sehun was the one with the initiative to get things done. Kai had never interfered until now, he had been only too happy to let Sehun do everything. 'You never know.'

'Exactly,' he said. 'You never know what could happen.' He shook his head. The tension knotted his browline and made deep furrows of concern on his forehead.

You touched his shoulder gently.

'I'll be fine,' you reassured him. 'It's just the doctor's, what can go wrong, really?'

Sehun took a deep breath and visibly tried to relax.

'What do you think that was?' he asked lowly. His eyes fixated on a spot on the comforter before meeting yours. 'What just happened?'

Touching them, the way it normally happened, was difficult to explain. They were there, on the same plane of existence, but simultaneously felt distant, as if you were imagining everything. This time, touching Sehun, him touching you, it felt distinctly firm – like he was a being of his own standing. He felt immediate and physical. He felt human.

Sehun and Kai had been part of your life for a long time now, but certain aspects were still a mystery. There were still a lot of blanks that needed to be filled in. This was a new one.

'I – I don't know,' you said wistfully. 'I wish I did. I wish I knew how to explain anything, everything.'

Sehun reached for you again, his fingers tucking yours in between his much larger ones. This time the contact lacked any sort of chemistry. He squeezed your hand more tightly in an attempt to reinstate that same feeling, but it wouldn't come. He whimpered in frustration.

'It's ok,' you said quietly, 'We'll figure it out.'

'Are you sure about that? Do you - ' Sehun searched carefully for his next words. 'Do you want me touching you?'

The question was loaded, there could be no doubt. If you agreed, you were admitting to liking him, to openly preferring his company. If you told him that you didn't, you were rejecting him. Knowing Sehun, it would be unlikely that he would try for your affection again.

You took a steadying breath.

'I – I liked it,' you said in a quiet voice.

Sehun's eyes flashed in surprise, and pink fire burned in your cheeks. You looked away in embarrassment as soon as he met your gaze.

Sehun breathed out what sounded like relief and moved to prop himself up against the headboard. He motioned for you to come closer, patting his chest. His eyes widened in wonder as you followed, scooting in between his legs and cautiously lowering yourself against his torso. His arms wrapped around you eagerly and strong hands brought your head to the centre of his chest. Sehun paused for a few moments, as if he were waiting for something.

You let out a long, loud exhale and let every muscle relax into him.

The reconnection, if that was what it was, started like a tiny whisper, a spark in the middle of the inky darkness. His heartbeat gradually grew louder until you could feel and hear every movement it made. His breath ruffled through your hair, and Sehun smiled against your forehead.

He felt it too.

'You should rest,' he said tenderly.

He brushed your hair back and out of your face, his lips pressing tenderly against your forehead.

You blinked slowly as sleep started to take you, the heat of his body enclosing you. The steadiness that was Sehun holding you provided you with a peace better than any sedative, and the question of whether he would still be there when you woke up didn't occur.

It was simply Sehun, the safety of his arms, and you.

A/N: So hopefully I’ll be making Monday at 7:00 MST my new weekly release date? (It’s already a minute late HA). As always, feedback is my favourite and I hope you enjoyed!

Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four (A)

#exo #exo series #exo fanfic #exo angst #exo kai #exo sehun #kim jongin #oh sehun #sehun angst #jongin angst #kpop angst #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop series #sekai series

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