#I haven’t really talked about my uni au thing in a while have I….

[seagull-scribbles]

GRADUATION DAY!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

been thinking of getohime/reader lately….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 this is just a short word vomit i needed to get off my chest <3

for some reason i’m imagining a college au for them right. a uni au if you will . 

but like. imagine. it’s your first week, everyone’s still adjusting, you just so happen to get them as partners for a group project…. and they’re just. kind of hard not to love? they’re both so intelligent and competent and helpful, so kind and easy to talk to.

effortlessly charming. 

suguru who brings you both coffee when you meet up for the project early in the morning, and waves you off when you try to pay him back. effortless. utahime who goes to the cafeteria to get you more when you run out, knowing the lines will be absolutely hellish. effortless — even when you catch her almost tripping over her own two feet as she nears your table.

geto and his kind eyes, utahime and her comforting smiles. their cozy sweaters and pretty hands and half-rim glasses. effortless, effortless, effortless.

it’s just a project, you barely even know them, but conversation flows so easily, and time passes so quickly. they’re both smart and maybe a little bit bossy, but in a good way — a we’ve already started on the outline while the other groups haven’t even decided on a topic kind of way. a fact they’re both evidently smug about, but they hide it well, tuck it in between upturned lips and crinkled eyes. 

it’s nice to work with people who won’t slack off, people who take their studies seriously. it’s even nicer to work with people who smile when you meet their eyes, who ask if you have any pets while showing you pictures of their own, who purr out a satisfied good work when you’re done for the day.

they’re nice. charming. you’re friends before you know it, and suddenly utahime is waiting for you outside the university every morning, suguru is taking a seat next to you whenever you have lectures together. you share pictures of your cats in the group chat you made and complain about how vague your professor’s instructions are. you learn that suguru likes to tease, that utahime can be snarky, that she laughs at her own jokes with a cute little snort. that suguru secretly likes the gossip he pretends not to indulge in. 

suguru brings you coffee, utahime gets you more; he thanks her and she smiles, you thank her and it grows. and so on.

so, really, it’s a coincidence. a stroke of luck, that you were paired up with them, that it happened so early that none of you really had the chance to establish any other friend groups. other things weren’t coincidental, like the fact that you’re so close in age, that all of you are crippling people pleasers, that you have a tendency to get attached a little too quickly.

the group project goes well, obviously. very well. again, you see the smugness in their smiles, their crinkled eyes — show offs, you think, but they’re cute about it. suguru tells you that you did well, utahime does the same. when you return the statement their smiles grow just a little wider, and you think nothing of it because that’s just how they are — effortlessly warm.

at this point, you’ve wriggled your way into each other’s routines. so nothing changes, even after you receive your passing grade. you still walk to class together, still choose to sit side by side in the lecture hall. you never delete the group chat, and the cat pictures keep coming. your friend group grows; suguru has known a guy from the physics department since middle school, utahime is good friends with a biology major. you eat lunch together, go to the nearby convenience store between lectures. study in each others’ dorms. they’re all pretty lovely.

but you, and suguru, and utahime have a special kind of bond — the kind where you could sit together in complete silence, and anyone passing by would still be able to tell you were friends. silences are always comforting, their smiles always warm.

they dote on you a lot. satoru and shoko make fun of them for it; every time utahime absently adjusts your scarf, when suguru ties your shoelaces without being asked to. you’re always in the middle, squished between them in crowded trains, right arm linked with utahime’s, touching pinkies with suguru to your left. utahime blows on your coffee before giving it to you, suguru lets you rest on his shoulder when you’re sleepy. and so on. 

and yeah, it’s kind of embarrassing, but they’re just… really casual about it? effortless, as always. like it comes to them without thinking.

but satoru and shoko still find it funny, still won’t stop referring to them as your mama and papa, won’t stop pulling your cheek and teasing you until suguru and utahime come to your rescue. which only really proves their point.

it’s a joke, obviously. none of it should be taken seriously. 

… but, as you grow closer, and time passes, you think to yourself that maybe you are a bit of a third wheel. 

because they look so good together. matching glasses, matching sweaters, matching wits and brains. they keep up with each other so effortlessly, joking around, indulging in idle banter, talking about some baseball game they both watched last night. it’s not like they ever make you feel left out; doting on you comes easy, and they make sure you’re always comfortable. 

that’s another joke — that you’re the favorite of the group. the baby. you wish you could believe it.

utahime and suguru are twin suns. bright smiles, warm souls, hearts that always melt when it matters. they shine brighter than anyone else, so you really don’t get a say in loving them. 

it’s easy to feel small, in their presence. easy to feel a sting when people mistake them for a couple, even though you have no reason to feel sad about it. they’re your friends. what business do you have in who they choose to date? 

that’s what you tell yourself, when you notice them speaking from afar. when they abruptly stop as soon as you’re in earshot. when you catch utahime texting him in the middle of your lecture, when you realize that there are things they can’t talk to you about. things they don’t want to talk to you about.

so, obviously, you assume that this is it. that your destiny is to be their third wheel, the baby of the group, the person they’ll hang out with when they need some variety. 

which is fine. obviously. even if it stings.

you know your place.

(what you don’t know is that their little talks consist of sheepish excuses and irritated grumbles, because neither of them can seem to make any kind of progress in their plan to ask you out.

when they eventually muster up the courage to corner you, to tell you, their eyes will be bright and their smiles will be kind. understanding, merciless, so bright it’ll blind you. utahime will hold your hand and suguru will adjust his glasses. they’ll be nervous, but as charming as ever.

effortless, effortless, effortless, in the way utahime will hug you once you say yes, the way suguru won’t manage to stop himself from kissing the bridge of your nose.)

until then, you’ll assume it means nothing. you’ll let them buy you coffee and adjust your scarf and dote on you, and completely miss the playful glares they shoot each other when one of them hogs your attention.

[thegetoufather]

i am always here to talk about that man 🧍🏽‍♀️

ugh lem hes so dork boyfie coded i cant w him fwbs w benefits to lovers w him is eating my fricken brain!! the delicious miscommunications!!! I read this lovely little piece the other day and i cant get it out of my head so here is a gnawing thought i have inspired by that fic UGH.

warnings/premise: fwbs to lovers post sex fluff, uni au (kuroo in his 20s) cockwarming, dork kuroo, anti sex god propaganda, 18+ — the usual aman special

Your heart still hammers in your chest as you sit in the shattered remains of your arrangement with Kuroo. Yet nothing bleeds, the only thing you’re met with is the warmth of his kisses across every inch of skin he can find. The uncertainty you thought you would feel fades away, the gentle caresses of his touch causing you to melt against his chest.

Your head lifts up as he trails his fingers up your spine, a chaste kiss pressed against your forehead before he meets your eyes. He always look beautiful in the afterglow, with raven hair more mussed than usual and a flush painting his cheekbones. His eyes are always what you liked most, golden irises lit with a flame that would pool in your belly when he shows up at your door, that flame simmering to a comforting hearth when he massages your thighs after.

Except now, the look is different. Its adoration that doesn’t have to be tempered, a small smile playing on his lips when he sees you mirror the same look.

“So,” you begin.

“So.”

“This isn’t just casual anymore, is it?”

“That’s a wild thing to ask while I’m still inside you.”

“Kuroo!” You yelp, smacking him playfully on the chest. He responds in turn with one of his rooster cackles, the feel of the reverberation of his laugh in his chest making you smile even more.

“I thought we agreed you aren’t calling me that anymore.”

“Fine then, Tetsu.”

“Oh so I get a nickname now? You’re sooooo in love with me.”

“Shut up.”

A pause begins to enter in the space between you, the awkward question lingering in the air.

“So, um, how long have you, i mean, what made you want this to, y’know, be more?” You feel your heart pick up again after the question leaves your lips.

“Pretty soon after we started. I was never seeing anyone else but you.”

“What?!”

Kuroo’s eyebrows furrow at the disbelief in your voice. “Is that so hard to believe?”

You blink back him, slowly realizing he has no idea the impact he’s left on the girls on campus. All those whispers in the stands of his games, all the girls elbowing their way to talk to him at a party. All of that, meaningless to him.

“I mean, I just kept hearing people say things about you and I assumed —”

“That because everyone thinks I’m hot and sexy I’m sleeping with them?”

“Now that I’m talking with you, I’m realizing the reason you maintain that reputation is because more people haven’t seen this side of you.”

“Which is what?”

“A massive dork.”

“Correction, massively hot and sexy dork.”

You snort, rolling your eyes at his shit eating grin. “Why did you wait this long then?”

He puts a finger under your chin to tilt you towards him so you can meet his gaze. “I dunno, I guess I was scared too. I liked having you around so much and I thought if all you really wanted was sex, I could live with that. I wanted you in any capacity rather than none.”

The confession makes you warm, making your heart pick up again. But beneath your palms, his beat is steady, thrumming with the conviction in his words. You can feel your eyes start to swell, but instead you laugh, giggling at how stupid you’ve been to not see this sooner.

“So I guess we are both idiots, huh?”

“I guess we have been.” There’s a crooked smile on his face when he replies, followed by a calloused thumb coming up to wipe the tears that have rolled off your cheeks.

Kuroo clears his throat and sticks his hand out in between your bodies, as though he was initiating a handshake.

“Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Kuroo Testuro, buisness major, chem minor. Want to go out some time?”

[hemeruni]

Well. Here’s what I’ve been planning on doing… I’d like to introduce you all to-

The FIRST ANNUAL tumblr User hemeruni direct, a special event where I get to actually go into more detail about the projects I’m currently more so focused on, while giving important news to what’s next on our menus.

Now let’s go ahead and get this show rolling shall we?

NURSE PHILLY UPDATES

As you know, Nurse Philly has been placed on the back burner for a while as I took the time to work on my other projects. But, starting today, I’m working full speed ahead to officially get the Askblog up and rolling! The scripting process has been tough, but a rough outline has been finished and a overall timeline of arcs and events are all laid out, so it shouldn’t be long for you all to see the nurse in person!

I’m not the type to give out dates, but expect this hush puppy to start around mid-late 2024.

Alright we’re getting the hang of things! What’s next?

GLIMMERLOVE NEWS

This project started as a one off post that quickly spiraled into one of my favorite projects thus far under the hemeruni brand. While there isn’t plans to get a Askblog rolling anytime soon, the askbox will always be open for asking questions to these mysterious folk.

This project doesn’t have much besides that, but if things change revolving my work ethic, I’ll surely consider it.

No date on this one, as it’s currently in a fine state from where I’m seeing it.

HAPPY HATCHDAY HEMMY!!!

By the time I’m writing this, Hemera’s birthday is still ongoing and it might honestly been the most exciting days I’ve had in a long time, considering the fact that I’ve just… haven’t been active as much.

This fox means so much to me and I have Sparklecare and only Sparklecare to thank for creating such a wonderful creature that deserves everything wonderful on this blue marble of a planet.

I love you Hemmy, don’t stop being you.

Me and Uni are making a coffee shop au

Yeah idk what else to say

It’s news to me but I’m just posting this since I thought the idea was funny.

Personal au?? I think?? Only WE get to make one not YOU /J

Now. I mentioned something at the beginning of the whole thing about a change that is going to happen. Before we end this, I might as well say what I want to say.

The Future.

I’m breaking away from this community, for my own mental sake. I’m saying this with a heavy heart, knowing that this whole 'fame' thing isn’t something I enjoy. Besides fame, I’ve been so caught up in comments and reblogs that it mentally drains me to see one post that I spent less time on doing better then one I actually put my effort into.

This culminated in a unfollow from the official Sparklecare account that I’m still assuming is over the criticblog situation. Nevertheless, it left me bed ridden for weeks, realizing that what I worked so hard for was taken from my own dumb mistake.

That taught me a valuable lesson though, which is why I’m finally deciding to just cut contact with the community entirely, besides friend groups and servers I’m in you won’t really see me active on my main, mostly just au updates.

That also means I’m no longer reblogging stuff to my main account, but I’ve already came up with a solution revolving a account called hemerunireblogs (which will be linked later down the line)

That’s the most you’ll see me interacting with this community, I hope you can understand.

Now.

We’ve reached an absolute.

The End.

I wish things could’ve been different, but it’s either I continue down this path and further ruin myself for others sakes, or I finally start to work on myself again. In the end, I decided to choose myself. Call me selfish, I could care less.

For some, I’d like to wish the best, even though we may have not talked much, I’d love to see you again sometime soon.

You all have been a wonderful audience, I hope you all had a wonderful Hemmy Hatchday. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight my friends.

-Mx. Hemmy

[wolfstarhaven]

your favorite uni aus please and thank you <3

Hi anon🌸 Since many of my favourite uni!AUs are the same as my absolute favourites in general, you’ll recognise some of these fics from my others rec lists. But I just couldn’t exclude them! Anyway, I tried to include some other gems as well.

* = personal favourite

*Blends, by rvltn909 (191k)

Words got in the way sometimes, but Remus got the sense Sirius knew what he was trying to say.

General themes: slow burn(!!); pining; fluff; light angst; smut; strangers to friends to lovers.

(If you haven’t read blends yet, what are you even doing?)

*talking over cigarettes and drinking coffee, by beep348 (20k)

Remus and Sirius are in the same literature seminar at university and while Remus is great at reading books he is very bad at reading people.

General themes: pining; misunderstandings (remus thinks sirius is dating mary); strangers to friends to lovers; slow burn; fluff.

Size of the Moon, by deadsea (39k)

remus & sirius are dumb (american) college radio co-djs who, of course, often struggle to express feelings through anything but their playlists

General themes: friends to lovers; poor communication.

*Impossible Things, by accioromulus (14k)

It was an impossible thing, living with Remus Lupin--but Sirius was doing it anyway.

General themes: flatmates; pining; slow burn; friends to lovers; soft soft soft.

(Ok yea I know only remus is at uni and it’s not a main focus or anything, so perhaps this shouldn’t count BUT TRY AND STOP ME FROM INCLUDING THIS!! If you haven’t read this already you really must. It’s the law. I don’t make the rules)

Loose Ends, by impossiblemoon (40k)

Sirius Black was perfectly content with living his unremarkable life until he found himself in a chance meeting with the first person he couldn't instantly suss out. Remus Lupin was a complete mystery that captivated Sirius hook, line and sinker.

General themes: light angst; happy ending; breaking up & getting back together; sharing a bed.

Credit No Credit, by halictus (14k)

Remus and Sirius are both applying to graduate school. Whenever they cross paths at program visits, they inevitably hook up. This situation would make more sense to their friends if they weren't supposed to be enemies.

General themes: light enemies to lovers; rivals to lovers?; rivals with benefits; smut; past breakup.

you jump, I jump, by grumposaur (17k)

When Remus witnesses a disturbing event walking home one night, it sends him down a twisted path of many discoveries: secret societies, macabre rituals, cloaked figures, and a dark-haired boy who proves to be the most dangerous of all.

General themes: mystery; journalist!remus; this one is for you dark academia lovers; cults; flirting; happy but open ending.

*lover, you should've come over, by dykesiriusblack (105k)

The story of Remus and Sirius meeting at age 20, falling in love without meaning to, and not knowing how the fuck to deal with it for far too long.

General themes: ANGST! (read the tags!!); depression; chronic pain; happy ending; shitty communication; light enemies to lovers I guess; friends with benefits; on-and-off relationship; slow burn; jealousy.

Suite Nothings: Wolfstar Edition, by femme_de_lettres (61k)

When Remus Lupin was placed into a suite with James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black for his first year away at college, he didn't have very high expectations. When Sirius Black was placed into a suite with James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin for his first year at college, his expectations couldn't have been higher.

General themes: roommates; friends to lovers; some darker themes — read the tags; fluff.

Paper Walls, by Kember (66k)

Have you ever lived with a person you just can’t stand? Everything about them rubs you the wrong way, and yet, you can’t help thinking what it would be like to kiss them… Yeah, welcome to the life of Remus Lupin. He just wants to keep his head down, crack on with his studies, and maybe graduate at some point in the future. But his juvenile crush on his arrogant, impulsive, reckless housemate, Sirius Black, is going to be a major bump in that perfect road.

General themes: light enemies to lovers; not actually enemies tho; flatmates; miscommunication; jealousy; angst and fluff.

got a fascination (with your presentation), by spellingmynamewrong (8k)

When Remus thought of Oxford as a child, he envisioned turrets, laughter, and an unnameable, unforgettable magic. He did not envision vomiting his breakfast all over himself while standing in the halls of St. Catherine’s College.

General themes: meet-cute; pure fluff.

*Ocean of Fiction Blue, orphaned (13k)

Remus Lupin isn't sure what to make of his new flatshare situation. He's a quiet student with a past, who doesn't date and is determined to keep it that way. Then he meets his artist flatmate, Sirius Black and his entire world is turned upside down.

General themes: flatmates; pining; disabled!remus; so sweet.

xx Elliot

[siriusly-sapphic]

for never have i ever asks: college/university AU, or a hogwarts AU of some other canon? link me if you’ve written/curious to know how you’d do these, if you haven’t!

Never have I ever... (still accepting)

College/University AU

I was so convinced that I had written this and I was so ready to link to it but? I haven't? I used to be in an RP about the marauders era characters where they were in college though, and it was so much fun. In the Narcissa server I also remember talking about a narlily college AU except it's Narcissa starting uni later in life and Lily is her professor? Which I lowkey wanna see someone write bc !!

For a more classic college AU, I always think Narcissa would make an excellent Law or Classics student. Depending on her motiviation for university and what she plans to do with her life. And I think for her specifically, college opens her up to more different ships by simply putting them together in class and seeing what happens. I think she'd be hilarious to watch interact with a roommate (mandatory campus housing anyone?).

I also think that a college and thus modern AU lends itself very well to exploring the way the Black cousins might interact and grow up when pureblood society isn't as much a thing. If Narcissa doesn't grow up with the expectations of being married with a pureblood baby at 20, what does she do with her life while away at university, yknow? Without a war to tear them apart, how do the Black sisters interact? How does narlily or dorcissa work when they're not dying young?

I think it'd be so much fun to write a fic about Narcissa studying Classics, seeing the interactions between her and my headcanons for Rodolphus and Rabastan, and then pairing her with begrudging roommate and Criminology student Dorcas Meadowes. I wanna watch them grab a starbucks and seeing Narcissa dress in way too expensive dresses for 9am classes.

Hogwarts AU

This one I have way less thoughts about because I don't really write fanfic of other fandoms that much and when I do, I've never really considered placing them in HP? The one exception I can think of is that I did once say I would love to write Cersei Lannister/Narcissa Malfoy being Slytherin bitches together, and I stand by that. I think that'd be fun. Jaime would be a gryffindor, obviously, and it'd be a whole mess.

[unusual-ly]

🎭👏🫂 for Bill and Gabriel in the uni au?

Thanks for the prompt, anon! I haven’t had an emoji prompt that I could actually think of an idea for in ages, but it only took a few days to figure out what to do with this one!! It did take quite a while to write tho, being ill for a bit then preparing for Halloween etc, sorry about that, but here we are, the second ever uni AU fic~! I think I got a bit carried away again with the conversation but I brought it back to the emojis in the end!

Read on FFN

“You can do this,” she whispered, staring down her reflection, “You’ve made it through rehearsals, you can do this.”

There were plenty of factors contributing to her nervousness right now; she had only just started her transition, she’d only performed in English once before (and that hadn’t exactly been a great success), she didn’t have her old friends anymore, Bill had written this role specifically for her. Ian was watching. Gabrielle closed her eyes, took a long, deep breath in, and exhaled. Of course she could do this. Bill would be right beside her, and he seemed pretty confident.

Right on cue, Bill appeared in the doorway.

“You have no idea how utterly terrified I am right now.”

Her face fell. All she could manage was a weak “… Oh…?”

“I mean, I know that whole disaster last time was mostly Phil’s fault,” he hardly seemed to notice, and instead started pacing around the room, “But it was still my play. And you only get so many chances at a first play!”

When she didn’t respond, he turned to her and frowned; she was staring into space, anxiously chewing her bottom lip and fiddling with the cuff of her sleeve.

“Are you alright?”

She blinked. Her head snapped round again, “What?”

“You look nervous.”

There was a pause as Gabrielle hesitated, then nodded, “I am,” she shrugged, “I suppose,” and looked down at her hands, still toying anxiously with her sleeve, “A bit.”

“But you were fine the first time, weren’t you? And you’ve been amazing in rehearsals!”

“That was just rehearsals! And a lot has changed since the first play…”

Ah…

“Are you talking about you coming out…?” he asked, somewhat carefully.

She sighed and nodded again, “Among other things.”

Bill seemed to forget about his own fears then. Or he decided his friend’s troubles were more important. He closed the dressing room door and came to stand by the mirror with Gabrielle.

“OK, what’s up?”

He patiently listened as she spilled the contents of her mind (though she did skip over one little detail), letting her vent until she had gotten everything out, then he thought for a moment.

“Right,” he said eventually, “First off, your English is great. Nothing to worry about there. Second, and this might sound a bit harsh, but I don’t think your old friends really deserve to take up so much of your attention. You’re better off without them. I mean, they weren’t very supportive, in more than one way.”

“Hm…” He did have a point, she had to admit.

“Third, I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you writing this part, but you’ve nailed every rehearsal, I’ve seen how well you can pull it off. I’ve seen you handle mistakes,” he gave her arm a reassuring pat, “You can’t exactly disappoint me, y’know.”

She couldn’t help but crack a smile at that, “Thank you.”

“And most importantly,” he cast an exaggerated sweeping gaze around the otherwise empty room, then leaned just a little bit closer, “If anyone gives you any trouble, I can always…” he trailed off and Gabrielle cocked her head, curious. Before the following silence went on too long, he dropped his eyes to the floor awkwardly, “… Well, report it to Southampton, probably.”

Gabrielle scoffed at the obvious performance and rolled her eyes affectionately, “Of course.”

“I could absolutely take care of it myself but, you know, I do tend to… escalate drama rather than alleviate it.”

“I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

Bill frowned, “Well, you could argue a little-” then she turned back to the mirror and he saw the look on her face she was trying to hide, “You’re deflecting.”

“What?” she didn’t turn back.

“You’re trying to wrap this up weirdly quick. What’s wrong?”

“We have just discussed what was wrong, haven’t we?”

“Gabs. There is clearly still something on your mind. You’ve solved the rest of it by talking, why not this?”

She went quiet for a moment.

“It’s just that… there are certain people watching whose opinions I value very highly,” she said, still facing the mirror, “I want to make a good impression…”

“Certain people…?”

“… A certain person…”

Bill quirked a curious eyebrow, “In the audience…?”

There was a slightly longer silence. Gabrielle bit her lip. Bill waited.

“No.”

“… In the cast?”

“… No.”

It only took a second or two before Bill’s face lit up.

“I knew it. It’s Ian, isn’t it?”

Gabrielle stared at him, “How could you possibly guess that?”

“Like it wasn’t obvious. You’re basically obsessed with him.”

“How so?”

“You can’t stop smiling around him, you take every chance to talk to him, you always seem to find a way to bring him up in conversation…”

“Fine,” she huffed, “But that doesn’t make me any less nervous.”

Bill just smiled and shook his head, “I don’t think Ian’s gonna judge you. If anything, he’s usually been pretty impressed with your performances.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. Now, come on,” he got up and went to open the door, “We’ve got a show to do, and it will go perfectly.”

“Perfectly?”

Bill, already striding down the corridor, called back to her over his shoulder, “I won’t accept anything less!”

Gabrielle sighed affectionately. Only Bill could be so blindly confident. Who’s to say she couldn’t do the same?

———

An hour and a half later, Gabrielle stood onstage beside Bill, along with the rest of the cast, after their final bows. The audience was on their feet, the applause ringing in her ears. As exhausted as she was, and as scared as she had been before the play, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so proud of herself, and so at home.

She couldn’t believe the cheer she had gotten when she came out at the curtain call, and the moment the curtain fell, she turned and threw her arms around Bill. He just laughed and lifted her off the ground for a moment. When he put her back down, he leaned in close to her ear.

“I saw Ian watching you at the end there. I think he might have almost missed a cue.”

[parallelroutes]

Munday Meme

2, 6, 7, 12, 14, 16, 17 and 18

— 2. Who are your longest rp friends? in 2008 i joined bulbagarden (forum from the pokemon wiki bulbapedia) and met a guy who also rped and had similar irl interests. i joined an rp forum with that guy in 2010, was in and out until he left in 2014 and we kept in contact. didn't rp after that, but we are absolutely still friends to this day and send each other pokemon things, talk about current fandoms, etc. probably my 2nd oldest friend i keep up with in general, tbh.

— 6. NOTP for your muse? tyl!byakuran/anyone LOL. in all seriousness, i really can't wrap my head around byakuran/uni in any romantic/nsfw sense… like even besides the massive age/experience gap from before, i only see them as emotionally close in a platonic sense?

i still enjoy poly tsuna/uni/byakuran from the trinisette trio flavor, but that's also kind of conditional and if tsuna wasn't there i don't think i can see it. imo, just not a dynamic that would exist without tsuna there, if that makes sense.

in other news, shoichi/byakuran isn't a NOTP so much as i'm just really tired of him being the Only one i see people ship with byakuran. they're just so much more fun as best friends? platonic soulmates? partners in crime? balance each other out, etc.

hmm. maybe i just struggle shipping with characters that knew him really well in TYL. funeral wreaths are a struggle too. a current!genkishi would be super difficult to make work but i did have an idea a long while back. BUT WAIT. gamma or spanner 👀

— 7. What are some similarities between you and your muse/muses? i am super weird too. independent. we both have terrible diets. i will eat 3 muffins in one day instead of lunch/dinner if i have them in my room. most obviously, adhd.

— 12. What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? (at the end/under the cut)

— 14. What do you look for in a rp partner? for longer plots/threads/verses? i love people who can generally match my enthusiasm or come up with ideas or has enough time to talk about it here and there. also love it when partners can take a bit of initiative in keeping it going too.

for just small threads? anyone who reaches out, really. i like almost everyone lmao, rping is included.

— 16. Least favourite trope? i don't know if it counts as a trope but i just don't really like seeing how many people only focus on him in a very dominant role in ships? it's just preference. there is nothing wrong with it and it makes sense for TYL byakuran anyway, but it's a least favorite for sure. (it's in part because it's the only way i ever see in fanart. i am Tired just thinking about it.)

— 17. Are there any AU’s you’d like to explore but haven’t had the chance to yet? i have a specific immortal!byakuran fantasy au that i want to use as a verse someday but not sure if i'll have the chance tbh. might have talked about it before?

the tl;dr is he became a pseudo-deity with six others but was kicked out of the makeshift-pantheon a long time ago. he was stuck with his immortality/power and was left to wander the world like that.

— 18. Do you listen to music whilst writing? If so, what kind of music? i can only listen to music while writing if i loop one song and know exactly how it goes. usually it just ends up being either a song for the atmosphere or a song i'm currently addicted to. picking music gets distracting tbh.

moved 12 since it mentions nsfw. it's under the cut.

— 12. What’s one random headcanon about your muse that people mightn’t know? on account of not doing nsfw, i don't really mention it lol. i do have gray-asexual on there for this interpretation, but the ace part is really apparent. there is that he had more than enough abuse of that variety. now he just doesn't care, doesn't see a point, nonexistent drive. if i did any nsfw it would be focused on the partner bc i'm sure he'd remember how to Do Things like that from all those different lives.

the gray part is that i think he would try if thats what a partner wanted? i think he'd be okay if he trusts/loves someone enough (demiromantic) but probably not often.

would also like to mention you don't see me doing any nsfw on this blog because he is only 15 and 18 in the two main verses. that speaks for itself, i hope? i guess post-canon 10YL or college-age verse or something might work, but still not on tumblr.

[jayteacups]

Even my WIPs list is a WIP... send help

I’m only now just realising how many WIPs/half-baked ideas I have floating around in my fics folder on my laptop and I really really want to get to them... you know what? I’m going to give you all a list and talk a little about them in the hopes that it’ll a) get me excited about some of them and I’ll finish it faster, or b) you guys are interested about them and I’ll probably feel more confident in my writing and write some more... and hopefully I’ll stop adding ideas to it because I’m focusing on the existing ones lol. Also I’ve been tagged a short while back for a WIPs ask game but I think I did it the last time it circulated before this one so I’ll just do it like this instead lol. 

Levi x Reader WIPs (one-shots and mostly SFW unless specified otherwise) 

The Harbinger’s Premonition - a canonverse multichap fic where Reader is the grim reaper who collects the souls of dead Eldians and guides them to Paths, and Levi is the only person who’s ever been able to see them. Currently working on chapter 4 (very verryyyy slowlyyyyy) 

Role reversal AU (captain Reader and civilian teashop owner Levi) (this one is well underway!) 

Flatmates AU (in which Levi and Reader are in the same flat for uni accommodation - I’ve got a fair bit done for that one too) 

Florist!Levi - I’ve got several hundred words written from a while ago, and I kinda miss writing lil grumpy florist/plant dad so I kinda want to pick this one up again. 

Masseuse!Reader - the Scout veterans minus Levi have a weekly tradition to go to a massage parlour because they’re all stressed out as heck and Hange somehow convinces Levi to go to one. And you’re the pretty masseuse that got assigned to him for his appointment 👀 (this is more of a concept than an actual plot but I do want to write this!!) 

Airport and author AU - okay so I’ve written like 500 words for this one and the document hasn’t been touched in months idk if I want to pick this one back up? The idea is cute but I just have bad writers block when it comes to that one for some reason 

I also had ideas for six pieces that I was going to write for this year’s Kinktober, which obviously did not happen as I was moving back to uni and things were a little full on then. I definitely plan on writing these out but the question is when lol 

... old requests from like months ago that i haven’t gotten around to/havent been inspired to write im sorry to those who requested those I will get around to those one day I swear 😂

Other WIPs

I’ve mentioned a few times on this blog that I want to get around to writing a Levi x OC fic set in canonverse, as sort of a canon rewrite. Tentative name ‘The Creed of the Godless’. It’s still very much in the early planning stages and has been for months because I’m a perfectionist and don’t want to start writing until I have every little detail planned and plotted lol. I have talked about it in this post and there’s a little more info you can find in my masterlist somewhere. 

Not a WIP but I’ve been thinking about writing Furlan x Reader (listen I know the point of the No Regrets manga was not to drool at lines on paper but... I am very much drooling at lines on paper. Furlan is so goddamn fine in the manga and I need to write for him.) 

(I also have a multi-chapter fic that I kinda want to drop though because I’ve run out of steam for it and nobody’s reading it anyway :/ it’s not Character x Character/Reader/OC or anything like that though, so I knew the reception would be lower but to be honest motivation to write it has not really been there so idk. Might orphan it. Feel kind of guilty because I know there were a few select people that were interested but I just... don’t really want to continue with it any more.) 

[mostlymaudlin]

The one where Simon and agatha DO get stuck in a timeloop at starbucks 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Genuinely can’t believe I forgot about this fic when it used to live rent fucking free in my head. GOD. Ire, I know you are familiar with the fuckery going on in this fic. But for those unaquainted, I’m going to go off abt it, because I’m probably never going to finish it but I want to unleash a version of it on the world.

Last summer, I wrote a sweet lil fem!snowbaz uni meet ugly au. in it, there’s this line of flirty small talk about Baz’s full name:

“Damn, that bad?” Simon asks, but she’s smiling. “Agatha did say you were posh.”

“Did you two get stuck in a time loop in that Starbucks?” I ask, shaking my head. “How did you manage to discuss so much in the ten minutes you were gone?”

so that fic existed. and then I was like: what if there WAS a time loop? but not like baz thinks? and so came the idea for this batshit fic, set in watford (7th year? Maybe?), in which:

1. Simon and Agatha (canon versions) get stuck in a time loop during one of simons missions. They get out with pennys help, but Agatha breaks up with Simon. The end of this situation is the start of the fic.

2. The spell they used to break the time loop actually just shifted the loop to a different dimension — one in which fem!Simon is ordering a drink from Agatha at Starbucks in an attempt to woo agatha’s best friend (baz) who she just dumped coffee on lol. There is no magic in this universe, they are very confused 😂

3. Canon!simon starts having dreams about the fem dimension loops. He goes to penny like — we have to do something.

4. The “doing something” results in more shenanigans. Including accidentally body swapping simon and baz between dimensions. And between each other, at various points? Agatha also gets swapped around a bit, much to her chagrin. Shepard appears briefly in the fem dimension.

Anyway. It’s very convoluted and very fun. There’s complex arcs for both snowbazs and for Agatha. and I thought through the mechanics SO MUCH and then abandoned it, which is sad but that’s life.

This fic also includes a scene I really enjoy — I think I shared part of it back in the day for wip posts but I’m gonna share it again below the cut. It takes place late in the fic, when canon snowbaz are in fem snowbaz’s bodies in fem simon’s flat with canon Agatha (in the fem universe Agatha’s body. Lol). they’re resting while waiting for when the loop resets in a few hours so that they can enact their New Plan. But really this is about being confused and pining :) Simon POV.

I couldn’t be in that room anymore. I don’t know how to be around Agatha right now. It’s been easy to avoid thinking about it since we broke up, but that’s because I haven’t really seen her. And there’s been a lot going on.

I should probably have missed her, though, right? I should have been thinking about how I’d fix it when this is all done. But now I’m wondering if I even want to fix it. What does that mean if I don’t? That’s the only thing I’ve ever been sure of: After it’s all over, if I get to have a life, I’ll have one with the Wellbeloves. I don’t know how else to view my future if not with that context. I don’t know who I am outside of the mission anymore.

I hear Agatha and Baz’s muted voices through the wall, and I feel jealousy spring up in my chest. I let myself sit in it, let myself be miserable. It’s not even a thing, is it? Baz is gay. I huff, rolling over in the bed. I’m in the middle of the queen size mattress, taking advantage of the space. Girl me lives a life of luxury.

Baz is gay, and the girl in this body is attracted to him. Well, to her. It’s all quite confusing. But it makes me feel a little left out. It makes me feel like I’m not getting something. I’m obsessed with Baz. Everyone says so. Is that gay of me? I know Baz is fit. It’s why I’ve always been worried about his flirting with Agatha. Is that why I can recall a mental list of all the things that make him attractive? Shiny hair. Footballer thighs. Sharp cheekbones. Long, lush eyelashes framing those grey eyes, a color I’ve never seen on anyone else. Is that jealousy? Or is that something else?

The door to the bedroom creaks open, letting in a stream of light. I close my eyes.

“Snow? Are you awake?”

Baz’s voice is higher in this body, and a little raspier in that scratchy, sexy way. It’s a nice voice. Still, I find myself missing the low syrupy tone of his true voice. I crack an eye open. He’s closed the door, but I can make out his silhouette in the blue moonlight coming through the window. Tall. Slim. Just a suggestion of curves amongst the sharp edges. I can’t stop comparing this body and his. I can’t stop missing the body I know better, the body I’ve spent years knocking my fists against.

I sit up a bit, moving over to the left side of the bed and lifting up the covers. Baz gets in the bed, lying stiffly on his back. I throw the cover over him and lie back down. I know he gets cold.

We’re lying here, not touching, not talking. I can feel my heart beating in my throat. I wonder if he can hear it. Maybe not. He’s not a vampire right now. I can feel the warmth coming off his body. His skin is always so cool when we fight. I wonder if it would still be cool if I reached over and touched him.

It feels like we’re about to fight right now. The air is thick with the wind-up of it. My fists are already clenched. But Baz just keeps breathing, keeps lying there next to me. I want to shake out the tension in my body, but I don’t want to disturb him. Or I do want to disturb him. I want to roll on top of him and try to rip his hair out of his scalp. Or something.

I don’t. I lie here. Time passes, the air stays the same. What if I did touch him? What if I pretended to be asleep and rolled into him, just to put my hand on his stomach like I used to with Agatha. I know he’s not asleep. I know what it sounds like when his breath evens out. He probably knows I’m not sleeping either. Unless he’s not as obsessed with me as I am with him. But he is, right? That’s why the other version of us gets together. We fit, don’t we? Despite it all?

Do Simons and Bazs find each other in other dimensions too? Are we always meant to come together? To fight each other? Or maybe not. Maybe that’s never been our destiny.

Could I roll over and touch him without it being a ruse? Am I allowed this? What are we to each other, after all this is done? Not enemies, I don’t think. It doesn’t feel like that anymore. It felt okay to touch him in Watford. It felt okay to be touched by him. I don’t know what any of this looks like anymore. Agatha said she didn’t want to be my happy ending. She wanted to be someone’s right now. What does that mean? What are you allowed in the right now? Can I even have a right now, when I might not have a future? Am I allowed?

I don’t touch Baz. I lie here in the dark, listening to him breathe, knowing he’s awake. I stew in the potential energy of it all.

I wish he would reach over and touch me. I wonder if he could ever want to.

[amaranthinedream]

do you have any other unpublished fics or wips? i'm curious as i'm also a writer but i have all these fics that i never post LOL what do you do with them when you're done!

I actually have a few WIPs! Its definitely a writer thing, I think we just can’t turn our brains off and it keeps imagining new ideas for how these two blorbos can fall in love and then you have to sit down with it and be like ‘we don’t have time for this, you’re already dedicated to [insert published wip fic here]’ and your brain just laughs and comes up with another coffee shop AU because it’s a bitch like that

That said, I’ve been meaning to make a list of my other fics I’ve been slowly working on (OEL takes up a lot of brainspace and time for me), so here’s my 3 most developed ideas (as in, I’ve actually written scenes/a good chunk of the fic)

1. [nameless fic 1]: I’m calling it the Uni AU in my docs, but it’s a modern day AU bdk friends-with-benefits break-up/make-up fic and it’s my favourite of the wips I’m working on. it’s very angsty. VERY angsty. I mean, I hoping to also make it quite lighthearted... until it isn’t.

Basically, bkdk are friends of friends. Katsuki’s a bit of a fuckboy, whereas Izuku is hung-up on someone. they have a one-off fling, which then continues into fwb, which low-key turns into dating just neither one of them want to admit it. Fed up of wondering if Katsuki is seeing other people, Izuku asks Katsuki to go steady and Katsuki says no. Heartbroken, Izuku breaks off their relationship and Katsuki spirals...

anyway, I really wanna talk about this one so have a snippet

“Deku, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You haven’t lost me. We agreed to stay friends,” Izuku reminds him. His eyes tell a different story though, sad and downcast. He doesn’t even believe his own words.

“That’s bullshit,” Katsuki says, and it’s only half on purpose. Izuku’s head snaps up to look at him and Katsuki makes the snap decision of committing to his word vomit. “That’s such bullshit. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t give me that crap.”

“What do you want me to say? I was heartbroken!” Izuku says with such force that Katsuki feels momentarily blown away. “I-” his strength leaves him, and Izuku’s chin ducks back towards his chest. “I am heartbroken, Kacchan. Present tense. And it - it hurts to see you.”

Katsuki doesn’t know what to say.

‘How long do you think it’ll take until that’s no longer the case?‘ Is insensitive at best, downright selfish at worst. ‘Your absence is upsetting me. Stop it. Come back.’

Selfish. Always so fucking selfish. He’s never really learnt how to stop, has he?

“We will still be friends?” Katsuki asks. “After … after it stops hurting so much?” There’s something obstructing his airways, and he swallows it down. His vision wavers. “We’ll still be friends.” He says it less like a question and more like a statement, like by saying it he can make it be true.

Deku isn’t looking at him; he’s staring out the window out on the parking lot, seemingly entranced by someone doing a shit job of parallel parking. Internally, Katsuki screams at him to just look at me. He’s right here, why isn’t Izuku looking at him?

Izuku doesn’t reply.

2. Well-Intended Love AU: this is inspired by a cDrama of the same name and plot, which I would diverge from after the initial set up.

Katsuki is a ridiculously rich and powerful CEO, while Izuku is a graduating student who has just found out he has leukaemia. To survive, Izuku needs a spinal fluid transplant, and he has one match in the system; however, that person has refused to be a donor to anyone (guess who it is). Izuku sneaks a look at his donors details while the doctor isn’t looking and basically bugs Katsuki until he gives in to be his donor in exchange for Izuku marrying him for 2 years to get his mother off his back. queue classic fake-relationship turns to real relationship montage (with sugar baby vibes). only, a few months later, Izuku starts feeling the same symptoms he had when he was diagnosed. He goes to his doctor who can find no record of his surgery on file, so Izuku starts looking around the house for his medical record. Opens the safe that Katsuki has never let him near and inside finds an initial blood report from when he first got hospitalised, which basically says he just had bad anaemia. In the same file are bunches of photos of him that he knows are from before he and Katsuki met, taken from a distance. it turns out Katsuki owns the hospital he was diagnosed at, and faked Izuku’s illness (it’s semi-yandere/obsessed Katsuki yall)

And this leads into wip 3, which I’m considering combining with number 2

3. Things Better Left Unsaid: A mostly written E-rated oneshot (it’s filthy). Following sugar baby omega Izuku and CEO alpha Katsuki (I am a woman of simple tastes okay?). I ... cannot say much about this one without the hand of god (tumblr moderators) coming down on me, killing me instantly, so I’m just going to put down a snippet to set the mood

“I’m taking you to the company dinner in two weeks time. You’ll need a new dress, at least.” Katsuki finally says, impatient. “Don’t argue with me on this.”

He’s sitting like a king on the sofa in the main boudoir of the fitting rooms. All black suit and dangerous elegance. One leg up with his calf on his other knee, and arm spreading across the back of the couch, taking up space in the dominating way he likes to do.

Izuku is standing on a pedestal set before the mirrors, but he still feels very small under Katsuki’s eyes. The room matches those eyes, red red red. Warm but ample lighting makes the room feel intimate and expensive. Katsuki’s eyes make Izuku feel even more so.

Izuku nods, and he takes on the dress the attendant hands to him. The last thing he sees before the dressing room door closes is Katsuki languidly watching him from the sofa as a bowing beta offers him refreshments. The girls shirt slips down her shoulder, seemingly on accident if her eyes hadn’t been so carefully watching for Katsuki’s reaction.

It doesn’t matter though. Katsuki had never looked away from Izuku; he didn’t see her.

Smirking, Izuku closes the curtain to the dressing room, tries on the dress, and gapes.

There’s no way this is right.

This is way too revealing for such a formal event. Katsuki doesn’t normally dress him like this.

He goes out, intending to make Katsuki get him the proper dress, but is stunned into silence by the way Katsuki’s entire body language turns predatory upon seeing him.

“Perfect. On the pedestal,” he orders, eyes dark. He takes a sip out of a crystal tumbler of whiskey, never looking away, before placing the glass down.

Legs feeling like jelly, he takes careful steps up onto the platform. Katsuki clicks for a male attendant, who comes running. The previous girl is nowhere to be seen. “The shoes.”

The attendant comes back with the shoes, and kneels at Izuku’s feet to help him into them. They’re high, and Izuku wobbles on one as he slips into the second one. The beta below him looking up at him, cheeks pink, as he holds out a hand for Izuku to hold as he catches his balance.

Thankful, Izuku takes it, ignoring Katsuki's warning growl as they work together to get him secure on both feet.

Izuku can feel Katsuki’s angry eyes burning a hole right through his back. Burning hotter when the attendant doesn’t leave once the shoes on, staying to work the clasps around Izuku’s ankle. He lingers a little longer than necessary, fingers whispering around the small clasp.

Katsuki snarls, threatening, and the attendant springs away from Izuku.

"I- I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean- I'll excuse myself."

"Wait," Katsuki says before the attendant can leave, black-smoke voice smooth. Izuku suddenly feels too warm, fever hot and rubbing his thighs together, feeling so empty.

Katsuki sounds dangerous, and Izuku knows what that means.

Flushed and embarrassed, the attendant ducks his head as he turns to wait for his instructions from Katsuki.

“Go and get the diamond decagon necklace and the matching earrings from the vaults,” Katsuki orders, a growl still in his voice. “Quickly.”

The attendant all but runs from the room. Izuku doesn’t notice, too busy staring down Katsuki in the mirrors.

“Deku, come here.”

I hope that answers your ask! tbh, I have a lot of little ideas that I write down but they don’t often develop into anything structured. there’s a few docs in my folder that could potentially be published as little drabbles... but idk, I write them and then I forget about them because they don’t feel finished but I’m also not that keen on working on them more. what about you?

[httpiastri]

Hiii Love!

Gosh, I haven't been here in a while! I hope your doing good!

I actually managed to watch the race last Sunday, which is the first race I have watched since the summer break. That's so crazy 🙈 but I am just trying to get the most of the nice weather before it just starts to rain all the time here.

I am so so happy about choosing to do the year abroad, and even though sometimes there are harder days (like when my au pair kids do the opposite of what I tell them to do) and it gets frustrating, I love this work and the country and the kids of course! One of them was all cuddly today and didn't wanna stop hugging me 🥰

But the race was so good! Even though I am very... unsure what to think about Carlos as a person, I love love love Carlando and the teamwork at the end of the race was everything!! Gosh, I was so nervous!

I was planning on watching the race on Sunday as well, because it's early in the morning before I could go out, but now it turns out I am going out the night before and won't be home till 3 am 🙈 I really don't think I'm gonna be able to keep my eyes open to watch or even get up. How did I do this back home??

I don't know if I missed anything because I haven't read all of the asks, but did you come to a decision about your University? Just if you wanna talk about it :)

Also, I read that you were struggling a bit about a writer's block and I just wanna say that just starting is the most important thing, even if it might be absolute bullshit! You can always improve it later! Hope it resolves itself soon and you have more time to write as well!!

-✨

hello love! i’ve missed you!! i’ve been doing good, how about you? <33

aw im glad you got to watch the race, it was a good one!! not just the boring old “max verstappen wins by 64 seconds” race 🤭 i’ve been kinda unsure about my feelings about carlos recently too but i can’t say no to carlando, such an iconic and lovely pairing 🥰 just wish it had been swapped around so lando had the win!

but yes you’re right for enjoying the weather and spending time with the kids! i’m really glad you feel like going away to be an au pair is the right thing 🥺 since i work with kids too (they’re probably a bit older than yours, though?…) i really get you, it can be annoying at times but it’s also so much fun. and a cuddly child 🥺😭 that’s so sweet awwww i’m so happy for you about this whole thing 🫶

oh god if you’re up that late then it indeed would be hard to stay awake 😩 good thing you can always watch it later! and i hope you have a great night out 😁😁 idk how i’m gonna survive it either, i really wanna catch up on some sleep this weekend… why couldn’t this weekend be a later race 😔😔

about uni, i ended up not going and instead i’m taking a course in journalism at another university! it’s only once a week though, so i’ve been working these last few weeks. first time i’ve ever worked an actual 9-5 job for more than like two days 😵 i’ve done so many other types of work but this is new territory. it’s quite alright so far! the only problem being that i never fall asleep until 1am at the earliest, so i never get a lot of sleep :/ well well!

you’re very right, always when i get a block i just sit down and force myself to write either way. i have barely had any time at all to write these last few weeks tho so i haven’t gotten around to doing it. i did manage to sit down last night though and had a good writing moment! but it was at 2am so my work today is going to suffer from it 🥲 thank you love!

i hope you have a great weekend sweetheart 🥰🥰

[sukirichi]

— there’s always a price to pay when you get your hands on a work of art.

PAIRING: tattoo! artist megumi x reader

REQUEST. tattoo artist au + mutual pining + size kink, praise kink, thigh riding + reader is shorter than megumi and isn’t shy 

WARNINGS: feral megumi, scratching, vaginal sex, size kink, praise kink, mature content, slight overstimulation, sexual tension lol, unedited story

NOTES: ah thank you so much for this request, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Here is my third contribution for FERAL MEGUMI FRIDAYS! and oh wow tattoo artist megumi uh no thoughts head empty

WC: 5.4k+

The tattoo saloon loomed over you, the neon signs almost blinding in the darkness. You could feel your heart pick up its pace in your chest as you hitched your bag up higher, the excitement settling in your toes. Mustering up the brightest smile you could have, you cleared your throat and pushed the door open, the tiny bell on top jingling to signal your arrival.

Your eyes roamed around the walls covered with intricate drawings, the leather seats dark and kept in pristine. Now that was rare – your leather couches always wore out in just a few weeks.

Making your way inside, grip on your sling bag still tight, you bit your lip as you peaked behind the counter. Empty. No one was there, and the nearby opened rooms were empty as well. Scratching your head, you scrunched your nose in confusion. You were sure you got the right place.

With a heavy sigh, you turned to leave, then stopped in your tracks when a dark-haired man exited a door you hadn’t even noticed at first.

He was tall – taller than you; his arms stretched until the sleeves of his black hoodie were pulled down, revealing a sliver of black tattoos that marked his skin. Upon hearing your awed gasp, his cold blue eyes fluttered to yours, the man – who was absolutely handsome despite his frown – froze in his spot.

You waved a hand to him, your smile bigger than ever. “Hi!” So you would be working with this cute guy? Maybe job-hunting wasn’t such a bad experience, after all.

“Hey,” he drawled out hesitantly, approaching you with his ink stained fingers pointed at you. He was still frowning, which was a damn shame, since you were sure he’d look even hotter if he smiled. “So...you’re Y/N.”

“Yeah!”

“And you...” he tilted his head to the side, inquisitive eyes studying your form. You would’ve felt conscious with the way his brows furrowed, eyes unreadable and lips pressed into a thin line, but you were sure you dressed to impress on your first interview. You admitted, however, that maybe wearing a white collared shirt with a pink tennis skirt made you stand out like a sore thumb in the heaviness of the studio. “...want to be a front desk man here?”

“Yeah!”

“What makes you think you’re qualified for this?” he crossed his arms on his chest, and you didn’t miss the slight bite of his voice. So he was handsome – but cranky. Great. “You don’t look like you fit in here.”

“Judging someone’s appearance and inferring that it has any relation to their credentials isn’t such a professional thing to do, you know,” you raised your chin proudly, jutting a pointer finger to his chest. He clearly didn’t expect this because he scowled and took a step back, while you fought the grin that threatened to paint your face. “Would you like it if people told you that you’re not qualified to be a lawyer because of your tattoos and piercings?”

He scoffed, “I don’t want to be a lawyer. As you can see, I’m a tattoo artist. And to answer your question, no, I don’t give a fuck what people think about me.”

“I can tell,” you muttered to yourself before smiling back up at him. He was too easy to read; his brow quivering and lips firm at your faux enthusiasm. “But yes, I do believe I’m qualified! I’m a fast learner and I’m even quick on my feet! I’m really good at talking to people too so I believe I can help schedule client appointments really well and guide them with this whole process.”

“Being front desk man doesn’t mean serving the clients tea and biscuits.”

“I know.”

“You know?” he snorted with a roll of his eyes. He then gestured you to follow him all the way back to the front desk. You expected he’d teach you about how to handle the appointment books or pick up phone calls, but instead he plopped down on the leather couch of the waiting area, his legs crossed on top of the other.

Your eyes followed the patch of pale skin exposed from his ripped jeans before you looked away, not wanting him to see that you found him attractive despite his less than welcoming personality.

“What exactly do you know about this industry?”

“Nothing, to be honest, but I’m not here to be a tattoo artist or anything. I just really need a job and I assure you I’ve got plenty of experience and knowledge when it comes to manning front desks or counters,” you stated confidently, “I know I look out of place, but I really need this job.”

The man only narrowed his eyes at you. Contemplation was written all over his face, probably wondering why you couldn’t just work somewhere else. “Why come here, of all places?”

“Because it’s the only one that has a flexible schedule,” you sighed, “I can’t work shifts anymore because I’m too busy at university. From when I talked to your boss – Geto, was it? – he said that the salon was open 24/7 and I could work until before my classes start. He’s not really strict about that kind of thing.”

“So you mean to tell me,” he leaned forwards, looping his fingers with one another while his ice cold gaze slithered over your desperate ones. “You’ll be at university for half the day, sleep until midnight, and then come here to work and attend class a few hours later? Isn’t your schedule a little irregular?”

“Oh no, it’s not like that! I also have mock classes after uni and it lasts until late at night, then I help clean at the local shelter. They’re running out of volunteers and the dogs are really adorable and take my stress away so...I make sure to come by when I have time.”

“You are one odd creature,” he noted loudly, almost as if he wasn’t completely aware he vocalized his thoughts. Well, at least now you knew he wasn’t the type to think his words over, which either made him more entertaining – or insufferable the longer you worked with him – if you began working anyway. “You could’ve used your spare time to rest. Do you even eat?”

“Yeah, I have a granola bar right now with me! I actually brought two,” you pulled out the snack from your bag, “You want some? I only got the oats, though.”

“Keep it to yourself,” he rolled his eyes, slapping his hands over his knees before rummaging over something behind the counter. “Fine. If Geto said he’s okay with you, then you’re hired.”

“Really, that easy?” your eyes widened, but then you chuckled when this strange man glared at you in response. He sighed as he pulled out a piece of paper, a pen on top of it. The papers read something about application forms and credentials, and you beamed, happily writing your information away with a slight bounce in your toes.

Unable to keep your happiness to yourself, you looked back at the bored man, wiggling your eyebrows playfully. “Huh. I was kind of expecting you would grill me – you’ve got that scary look in your eye. Let me guess, you often scare clients off?”

It seemed he could never get tired of glaring at you, because his eyes fuelled with heat as he leaned against the wall.

You hated to admit that he looked ridiculously handsome like that – the guy wasn’t even doing anything remotely attractive in the first place!

“I’m the most booked artist here, and I ask that you don’t get too comfortable with me. You haven’t even started working here and you’re already riling up on my train,” he groaned when you merely laughed in response. He made quick work of signing something in your form before handing you a key. “Here’s for your locker. Come to work tomorrow. Geto won’t be around for a week so I’ll be the one judging your performance. If you fuck up in the slightest – I won’t hesitate to fire you, you understand? We always have Yuuji coming around anyway, you’re really not that needed for the front desk.”

“Oh,” you nodded at his harshness, unsure whether to feel threatened or amused. “O-okay. I’ll do my best then. I look forward to you – ah, wait, what’s your name?”

“Fushiguro Megumi.”

“Oh, that’s a pretty name,” you muttered to yourself, uttering his name over and over again until it rolled smoothly on your tongue. “Shame you have a shitty attitude along with that handsome face, though.”

“You trying to say something?”

You faced him, about to laugh when he scowled at your not-so-subtle comments. Waving your hands to him, you made your way out the door, your smile only irritating him further. “No, I wasn’t. I’ll be taking my leave then – see you tomorrow!”

Seems like working in a tattoo studio wouldn’t be so bad.

You came to work the next day early and pumped with adrenaline. The idea of meeting the moody tattoo artist caused you to be giggly and happy the whole day, not even feeling the exhaustion of a long day of hard work as you made your way inside the shop.

Clocking in at exactly two in the morning, you proudly tugged your name badge on top of your left breast, patting it for good luck.

The bells jingled, making you look away from your tag. “Good morning – oh, where’s Megumi?” The man standing in front of you was taller than Megumi, his head nearly knocking over the doorframe if it wasn’t for his poor, slouched lanky frame.

He had white hair that brushed atop his cerulean blue eyes, and your eyes widened because wow, he was beautiful.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! Megumi told me you came around yesterday but he didn’t tell me the counter girl was this pretty,” He was in front of you the next second, his nose nearly grazing over yours that had you leaning back into the wall for space. “Hmm...he didn’t tell me that at all.”

“Oh, thank you. You are...?”

“I’m Gojo Satoru, one of the senior artists here. Since Megumi isn’t here yet, let me give you a tour!” Before you could react, Satoru already had an arm wrapped around your shoulder, his other arm waving and pointing to all the hung paintings and labels on each door. You found it odd that he treated you like you were an old friend, but you weren’t going to complain. Nice co-workers were always welcomed.

“Here is the holding area where clients wait to get their session done. This is Geto’s studio and right next to that is his office where he does all the finances and all that jazz, while this is my studio. Cool, isn’t it?”

Your mouth fell ajar as Satoru led you inside his studio, the walls painted the same aquatic shade of his eyes, but what caught your attention was the galaxy themed tattoo designs he made. They came in different shapes – a volcano head, a dragon, a worm, a four-armed monster – but inside them were all galaxies with sparkling and burning stars. You could see everything and nothing all at the same time.

“Whoa, you made all this?!”

Satoru’s chest puffed out proudly, “Yeah, I did. I’m flattered by your reaction, I really am, but you haven’t seen Megumi’s yet. There’s a reason our salon boomed even though he’s only been working here for two years.”

At the mention of his name, your interest was piqued, all ears and curious smiles directed to Satoru. “Oh, can I see Megumi’s studio?”

“You can – if you book an appointment.”

“But I don’t plan on getting any tattoos,” you frowned.

“You’ll never get to see his work then,” he chuckled to himself, the sound growing louder when you visibly deflated. What was the point of getting your hopes up like that then? “Megumi doesn’t like letting others in his studio without permission or an appointment.”

“Why not?”

“He’s just iffy about it,” he shrugged, “Don’t bother trying to decode his personality anymore, Megumi’s very hard to understand. Though if I were to make sense of it...” he rubbed his chin, eyes looking out into the distance. “I guess you could say Megumi’s not the type to be showy when it comes to his work of art. Did that clear it up?”

You blinked back blankly. “No, not really. But it’s fine – I don’t plan on getting to know him anyway.”

That was the biggest lie of your life.

The moment Megumi came around a few minutes later, a loud groan upon your animated greeting over his arrival, your chest bloomed with a different kind of fluttery warmth. He rarely came out after that, clients swarming in to both his and Satoru’s studios, but each faint glimpse of his door cracking open that allowed you to see him focused as he worked, you could no longer deny the heat burning down your legs.

You crushed on the grumpy tattoo artist.

And the more you came around work, greeting him zealously and teasing him to no end that he’d look hotter if he smiled, your crush only intensified for him – completely unaware that he too, couldn’t get his thoughts off of you even with his door closed.

In fact, he kept his door closed all the time because your voice distracted him too much.

“Hey, Y/N, you free?”

You looked up from the textbook you were reviewing, slamming it shut when Satoru’s head peeked out from his studio. He was still wearing gloves with a pen between his fingers, most likely still in the middle of a session.

“Yep! We don’t have appointments yet and I’ve already closed it for non-appointees. Did you need me to get you something?”

“Yeah, could you get Megumi for me? He isn’t picking his phone up and one of our special clients are coming soon. I’m packed right now so I can’t fetch him. I’ll send you the address and you get him, yeah? Just open the counter if you need money for a cab.”

You blinked owlishly at him. On one side, you’d be more than glad to see Megumi again. He hadn’t arrived despite it being four in the morning already, and you were worried, but you also didn’t have his number to ask how he was doing. Progress with Megumi was...slow, to say the least.

He still holed himself up in his studio, coming out only for bathroom breaks, although you noticed a drastic improvement when he finally began to mutter an almost shy “good morning” under his breath for the past few weeks.

It wasn’t much, but you’d have to make do.

“Uhm, when is this client of his coming? Should I run...?”

“Yeah, you need to fucking run. They’re coming in an hour and a half!” Satoru exclaimed, flailing his hands around like a madman.

Even after working with him for some time, you still couldn’t believe the older man was practically a man child, even asking for head pats sometimes. He would lean down with a pout, using a squeaky voice to call your attention, which always succeeded in Megumi fake gagging before he locked himself inside his studio.

“Forwarded you his address. Really sorry for the inconvenience, Y/N!”

“It’s okay!” you jumped out of your seat in an instant, not bothering to take your name tag off anymore as you left the salon, hailing the nearest cab.

Megumi lived quite far from the salon, which had you wondering why he chose to work there when there were plenty of salons in his area too. His place looked shady, as well, his apartment in a high-rise building with endless graffiti and several drunk stragglers hooting for you.

You ignored them all, taking two steps at a time from his staircase, your hands on your knees as you panted for air. Why did he have to live on the tenth floor?

“Megumi! Megumi!” you banged your fist on the door, throat parched from your sudden cardio session. You were sure you burned ten calories just from that sprint, and you sighed in relief when Megumi swung the door open, still looking handsome – and sleep-deprived – as ever in his black shirt and black skinny jeans.

“What?” he demanded. After seeing that it was you, he quickly snatched a water bottle and passed it your way, closing his door behind him. “Y/N? What are you doing here? How’d you know where I live?”

“Satoru said you had a really important client. You weren’t picking your phone up so he sent me to come get you.”

“It’s my day off,” he grumbled, answering your silent questions, your worries dissipating into thin air. Once you’d satisfied yourself by basically dunking the entire bottle, Megumi rolled his eyes, his hands flat on the small of your back while he guided you downstairs. The sudden touch flamed your cheeks; a stupid smile on your face. You were shameless, though, leaning back closer to him in the darkness of the early morning. “Why does he send a girl out of all people?”

“Something wrong with that?”

“It’s unsafe. My neighbourhood isn’t the best and who knows what would’ve happened to you if some goons came out?” Megumi hailed for a back, surprising you when he let you get in first and paid for the fee despite your outstretched hand prepared with the bills. “I can’t believe Sukuna chose this day to come of all times. I can never get a damn break.”

“Sukuna?”

“A special client. He’s a really huge tipper and comes on odd schedules – I didn’t think he’d come now.”

“Yeah, I checked the papers and he wasn’t there,” you frowned to yourself.

Megumi pressed his head against the window, eyes closed as his chest heaved up and down rhythmically. With the sun slowly shining from behind you, the golden stretches of it outlined his sharp features you adored, and you rested your chin on your palms, eyelashes fluttering at his beauty. “You know, Megumi, you’re really pissy sometimes – but you’re quite nice, aren’t you? I’d say you were even worried for me.”

He cracked one eye open, those blue eyes still shining with irritation, but make no mistake since his ears were flushed red. “I’m not. I just don’t want to be involved in a police investigation if they find your body near here.”

“How sweet of you.”

“Shut up.”

You and Megumi were beginning to get closer. You couldn’t pinpoint where he started to grow more comfortable with you, but it was definitely there and it was painfully evident that even someone stupid like Satoru noticed the sexual between you two.

He would always sniff the air whenever you and Megumi sat next to each other during lunch breaks, a wide grin on your face while Megumi buried his face in his hands, groaning because he knew the moment Satoru opened his mouth, nothing but dumb comments would come out. And dumb comments they were; the white-haired man merciless as he teased Megumi for acting like a cute little kid around you.

You never took it to heart, though. It was Megumi you were talking about; he was hot and cold; sweet then distant from one moment then an entire person the next.

Not that you minded, it only added to your fuelling crush on him, but you couldn’t control the way your heart fluttered every time Satoru whispered that he did like you, excusing that Megumi just wasn’t the best with words. Apparently, Megumi had spent too much time holed up in his apartment and studio that he had zero to little knowledge on how to talk to pretty girls – especially one that was clearly attracted to him as well.

Satoru encouraged you to go for it – that you should confess or break the ice first otherwise Megumi would never do anything about his raging boner every time you came around.

You only flushed at his statement, but you couldn’t deny that you too felt the same way.

One morning where Satoru and Geto were out restocking supplies, you and Megumi were left alone in the salon. Of course, he still resorted in the comfort of his studio, muttering under his breath that he wanted to try some designs before disappearing. Only this time, he left the door slightly open, the lights peeking through the slight crack.

Walking up to him with muted footsteps, you leaned over his shoulder, glancing over a sketch of...you? “Are you drawing me?”

Megumi yelped at your voice right next to his ear, throwing the paper away on the other side of the room before glaring at you. You laughed at his reaction, because how was it possible he was both so criminally sexy yet adorable? He looked terribly gorgeous today, as well, wearing a short sleeved black hoodie and black sweatpants, looking so comfortable and boyfriend like – and you couldn’t even begin to express your appreciation over his new lip piercing.

“Why do you always sneak up on me?” he snapped, “Didn’t I tell you I wanted privacy?”

“Then why aren’t you pushing me away?”

Megumi sighed exasperatedly, turning back to organize his pencils before glaring at you. “What do you want? Got no one else to bother since Satoru isn’t around?”

“I just wanted to see your art,” you mentioned, but kept your eyes directed on him instead of the plethora of sketches and designs hanging from his wall as to not offend him. “Satoru told me to never come inside. He said you’re really...private when it comes to your works,” you furrowed your brows at the last part, feeling your heart beat pulse at your tongue.

It was now or never.

“Can I see your tattoos too?”

“Why do you want to see them?”

“A work of art on a canvas who’s also a work of art himself?” you finally gained confidence to tease him again, getting riled up further when Megumi stiffened at your curious hands travelling under his shirt. His breath sharpened as his glare only deepened, though he didn’t make a move to stop you. “Why wouldn’t I want to see that?”

“Being flirty doesn’t work on you. It’s not cute.”

“You’re blushing though,” you remarked. Megumi groaned and pushed your face away until your buttocks landed on his recliner. Satisfied with Megumi not completely kicking you out, you swung your legs back and forth, still staring at his hoodie as if it was an offensive material.

“Can I...see?” Megumi rolled his eyes before he lifted his shirt up, revealing to you intricate patches of black ink splattered over ripples of muscles. Your mouth salivated, and somewhere down there, you drooled too. Tentatively, your hands reached out to finger the image of canines, Megumi shuddering over your cold touch on his warm skin. “It’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

Megumi pursed his lips before whispering, “These are the dogs I had as a child. My father got me them so I wouldn’t be too lonely when he’s away from work.”

“They’re very pretty. They look like black and white wolves,” you smiled, elated that he was opening up in more ways than one. Your touch flitted over to a winged creature under his left collarbone, small letters beside the image. “And this bird? Nue? He’s so majestic,” Your hands never stopped in trailing over his skin like a lost wanderer, sweeping over ink ink until Megumi completely discarded his hoodie to the side, his back faced to you.

A white viper tattoo stood large on his broad back, crawling until over his shoulder with the fangs ending just above his pecs. Megumi swallowed at each slivering touch, your fingers dipping and caressing every dent and curve of his body.

You couldn’t get your eyes off of him, your breath hitching in your throat as one of your hands gripped his biceps subconsciously. “You’re so beautiful.”

Megumi stiffened when your thumbs grazed over his nipple right next to the viper’s fang. Almost as if a switch was triggered inside him, Megumi growled, ducking to capture your lips with his in a sloppy, heated kiss. His hands tugged at the ends of your hair to arch your neck to him, his knees slapping your legs open before he settled comfortably between you, his low groans mixing with your breath moans.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. From the moment I met you,” he nibbled your lips, hands trailing down to thumb at your hipbones. “I knew that innocent good girl look was nothing but an act.”

You smiled through the kiss, a tiny gasp falling from your lips when Megumi pulled you closer until your heat grinded against the hardness inside his pants. Laughing at his harsh movements, you let Megumi tilt your head back, his lips sucking and teeth gently nipping at the sensitive flesh of your neck.

“Innocent girl?” you echoed, legs now wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. “What makes you think I am?”

“White lace panties? Short tennis skirts and sunshine smiles?” Megumi clenched his teeth, his hands eager as he tugged the white lace down until it looped to your ankles. You gasped, back arching when he thrusted two fingers inside you, curling and fingering against your bumpy walls. “You’re not fooling anyone, baby, especially not me.”

“Took you long enough to understand I wanted you though,” you chuckled through broken moans, eyes shut tight while your legs opened wider, heels digging into the hard cushion of his seats. “I was wondering when I’d get to break you from that tough guy act of yours and have you fuck me good,” Megumi growled at your words. You leaned forward to scratch at his chest, your tongue licking the shell of your ear as you rasped, “And on a side note, I am a good girl – only to those who can make me feel good, of course.”

Megumi cupped his palm to collect your arousal dripping of his, finally shutting you up when his fingers grazed over your sweet spot that had you clenching around him. And those were just his fingers. “You’re something else, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded smugly, hands coming up to tug harshly at his hair. Megumi hissed at the sharp pain, prompting him to fuck his fingers in and out of you faster until you leaked down to his chair, thighs trembling and your high-pitched moans coating the walls of his stupid. “Megumi, ah! Just shut up and fuck me already – been wanting you long enough.”

“Needy little girl,” He pressed you down on the reclining seat, settling between your legs before he spread your lips open with two thumbs. At the sight of your bare cunt clenching around nothing, Megumi groaned, teeth biting his lip because he could cum right then and there. “Fuck, look at you. So wet already,” he ran a hand over your slit to collect your arousal, eyes dark with lust as your juices webbed between his fingers. “All this for me? You’re so good.”

“Fuck – yeah, yeah I am,” you leaned back harder into the seat, groping at your own breasts while you nodded dumbly, too fucked out to even form a coherent response. “Going to be good for you, Megumi, gonna make you feel good.”

“Sorry, babe, maybe next time. I’m too impatient to not feel your pussy around me,” he pushed away at your hands that planned to pump his cock, his hand coming down to push you hard against the seat until his weight loomed over you.

You felt Megumi begin to align his tip at your center, dampening his mushroom head with your arousal first that had you both moaning left and right.

Hands scratching down his back as your teeth dug into your lips, Megumi pushed into you with one thrust, the sudden stretch making your legs shake and your body writhe underneath him. “Shit, why are you so tight? So fucking warm and perfect,” he rasped next to your ear, and you could hear how hard he was breathing as he thrusted into you, his cock hitting all the right places.  “Could fuck this pretty pussy all day, baby, shit.”

“Me-Megumi – t-too big!”

“Shh, you’ll be fine. You’ll take it like a good girl, won’t you?” he cupped your cheek, grinning sinisterly as he watched the way your greedy walls sucked him in. “See how you take me so well? You’re so small and pretty wrapped around my cock. I could break you if I wanted you,” he growled, his hands gripping hard at your hips when you clenched around him, enticing the man above you to quicken his pace.

Megumi watched with a lust filled gaze as your breasts bounced at the relentless pace he started, his balls slapping at your ass. “Oh, you’d want that, wouldn’t you? You want to be stuffed with my fat cock in you? Fuck you until you’re a drooling mess? You’re so gorgeous when I fuck you stupid.”

“Yes, Megumi, agh. Keep going, keep going, I’m so close!”

“Oh, you feel like heaven around me,” he praised at your neck, his cock stretching you wide and pushing into you. Megumi groaned lowly at your ear as his palms flattened over your stomach that bulged every time he thrusted in, his balls tightening at the sight. “Look at how big I am for you, baby, but you’re doing so well. You were made for me – made to take my cock, shit, you’re so perfect around me. Gonna make you feel good, yeah? You’re such a good girl for me. Cum, baby, that’s right – I’m allowing you to cum.”

“Gumi, Gumi, fuckkk,” your legs tightened around him as Megumi panted with each harsh thrust, the black marks over his skin expanding and stretch when his forearm rested beside your head. His muscles clenched as he fucked into you deep, over and over again until he pushed you over the edge.

A silent sob left your lips when you came around him, your juices creaming around his cock. A few thrusts later, Megumi fell on top of you as you felt him spill his seed inside you.

He had too much that you felt both your cum dripping down your ass; Megumi pulling out with a slight wince from the oversensitivity. You struggled to catch your breath as you laid there, legs wide open and the cool air hitting your bare pussy. The door was still open, and Satoru and Geto could walk in on you both looking like this, but you couldn’t care, not when you could barely feel your legs.

You dropped your arm over your face, hearing Megumi pull his pants back up. “That was...”

“Intense?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, wincing as you sat up. Your hair stuck to your forehead in sweaty clumps, dawning on you now that you were still very much covered in your sticky cum. You recoiled from the seats as you realized Megumi hadn’t even put on a towel underneath.

“Shit. Is this chair even clean?”

“I sanitize it every after session. Don’t worry about it,” he rolled his eyes, his tattoos covered and hidden from your sight once more when he pulled his hoodie over his head. Megumi retrieved a clean towel from his drawers and wiped at your sensitive pussy, your legs immediately closing around his hands when the towel accidentally grazed your clit.

Megumi gripped your knees with a silent glare. “Stay still. I’m cleaning you up.”

“I didn’t peg you as an aftercare guy. Thought you would leave me hanging here,” you teased, but really, you were feeling warm all over again as you watched Megumi wipe you all the way down to your other hole, your legs still tensing up.

Once he left to wash his hands, you could relax, tugging your panties back up with immense struggle. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d fuck you good – you could barely feel your legs now.

“And have you make a mess by ruining my seat?” he sighed as he returned, helping you seady yourself while he snapped the slightly soaked panty back to your core. “No thanks.”

“You’re so mean, Megumi. I’m hurt.”

He rolled his eyes at your pout, leaning down to kiss you square on the lips. This time around, the kiss wasn’t rushed; it was slow and sensual, firm yet gentle, and his hands carefully massaged your sore hips that would soon bruise from his grip before.

“No, you’re not,” he mumbled through your lips, mimicking that lovesick smile on your face as he pulled away. “But babe, you know the rules. Now that you’ve seen my work of art – what tattoo would you like me to give you? My name on your inner thigh?”

[chosonore]

part five | sonorous

sonorous [adjective. full, deep, or rich said of sound]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: falling in love with choso was a gradual and slow process, creeping up on you so inconspicuously that you don’t realize until the feelings hit full force. he’s become a constant in your life, your sun, your home. but does he return the feelings?

wordcount: 6.7k

content/warnings: roommates au, friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, mentions of alcohol, language, some pining but not really, the amount of oblivious reader and choso will kill you, slow burn, characters are aged up if not already obvious, lowercase intended, [UNEDITED]

a/n: i don't even know where to begin with thanking you for your immense patience - it took me so long to write and post this and i am so insanely grateful for everyone who is still sticking around in anticipation but also for all the new readers! it warms my heart to know that people are so invested. with that being said, i want to apologize for the long wait - unfortunately, writer's block is a bitch and my second to last semester at uni wasn't easy either. rather than forcing myself to write this chapter and potentially ruining the good energy of this fic, i chose to wait it out until i felt better and could channel the energy into writing. simply because this fic has such a special place in my heart. and to all the people that have sent me asks, comments or replies; i'm so sorry i haven't gotten around to replying to them :( but be assured that i read them all and appreciate them a lot.

while writing this, i listened to banks' holding back a lot and i feel like you guys would enjoy it too. the song manages to make you feel so in love with life, with a partner that you might or might not have yet and fills you with so much warmth and i hope you enjoy!

previous - masterlist - next

you woke up with a start, the alarm of your phone blaring in your ear from where you’d dropped it. having fallen asleep with the phone in your hand as you talked to choso, you hadn’t been able to place it back on the nightstand, nor did you remember to turn off the alarm that had rudely woken you. disoriented, you struggled to turn the alarm off, chucking the phone into another corner of the bed. huffing in frustration, you turned your back to the window, shielding yourself from the blinding sunlight. oddly enough, you felt giddy and awake despite the exhaustion still clinging onto your bones. perhaps it wasn’t as odd as you perceived it to be - you felt refreshed after having talked to choso the previous night.

it felt good knowing that things were okay between you, as okay as can be. you acknowledged that you had treated him horribly after what had occured; it wasn’t like he planned for it and sometimes, things just happened. not everything was in your control and that was okay. but it didn’t give you the right to act so distant and avoidant towards him without giving a proper explanation. the little vacation gave you an opportunity to clear your head and gather your thoughts and feelings for him, maybe you could even muster up enough courage to confess.

even if choso had confirmed that he didn't hold any grudges, you still felt bad. he was a good person, only wanting the best for others and despite giving him the advice to talk to you about any problem, you couldn't even do the same. what a hypocrite you were.

and though you were okay with letting go of the feelings, no matter how long it took and how hard it would be on you, you couldn’t shake the budding glimmer of hope that was planted in your heart. your cheeks warmed at the thought of the little kiss that he’d planted on the crown of your head before you left. at this point, you were sure: it wasn’t your imagination, it did happen. quickly, your rationale was pushed to the back of your mind. the conflicting thoughts about how his actions contradicted the theories you’d crafted in your head were long forgotten. though it was such a small gesture, you felt so warm and comforted just thinking about it.

would you dare to believe that he could possibly like you back? no matter how much you twisted and turned your thoughts to adjust to a narrative that told you that choso couldn’t possibly like you back, all reasoning came back to one conclusion: taking all previous circumstances and how close you had gotten over the course of time into consideration, there had to be a smidgen of feelings there. whether it might be platonic or romantic love, that was something you’d eventually figure out. you twisted the pillow in your arms, hugging it to you tightly as you thought about how you missed him already. it made you feel foolish and yet excited at the same time, looking forward to the day that you'd return from your vacation.

his confession still rang in your ears, of how he missed you and liked to hear your voice - it slowly solidified your resolve to confide in him, to let him know that your feelings for him, albeit a small bud, were steadily growing and blooming. springing forth from your heart, filling up veins and lungs, they filled up the entirety of your being. and whether he would reciprocate your feelings or not, you would love him all the same.

moping around would help you get nowhere, it would only plant seeds of doubt and ill feelings, furthering the resentment that you felt towards yuki. you knew it was childish to feel that way but it wasn’t something you could help, not until you properly processed your thoughts and feelings. yet, you didn’t know whether you had the strength or courage to confront yuki about it. her presence was overwhelming you, pushing its way into your comfort zone and wanting to make itself known. you couldn’t welcome it while you were conflicted about the situation. perhaps you could avoid it and talk to choso instead…? no, that wasn’t it either.

your trail of thoughts was rudely interrupted by nobara’s aggressive banging to the door and her yelling for you to get out of bed. “you promised you’d go shopping with me today,” she reminded you before swinging the door open. she stood proudly at the door frame, hands propped up on her hips as she looked at you with disdain. she narrowed her eyes on you, probably not happy about seeing you still wrapped up in your blankets and unmoving. at that moment, you briefly wished you possessed the strength and assertiveness that nobara naturally had, that you could carry yourself with the same confidence. it would give you the ability to face your problems head on, instead of mulling over them for so long.

“you forgot about it, didn’t you? come on, i don’t know when i will ever get the opportunity to come here again and i saw some pretty cute boutiques too,” nobara rolled her eyes and tugged at your blanket, unraveling you from the cocoon. “and you will buy cute clothes too, can’t let my friend going around like this. we gotta impress your potential boyfriend after all.”

you snapped out of your thoughts as the cold air hit your skin, almost as if it cleared the foggy landscape that was your mind. still tangled up in your blankets, you struggled to hurl one of the pillows at nobara who simply laughed and dodged. “he isn’t my boyfriend!” you hissed at her and threw another one in hopes of hitting her. “and would you pipe it down? i don’t want yuuji to hear and come in here to question me about it.”

“you say that like you didn’t just yell that out either,” nobara retorted smugly as she picked up the pillows and placed them on the armchair near your bed.

“ugh,” you planted your face in the mattress, in an attempt to hide from her. as much as you loved your friend, shopping days were incredibly exhausting - you couldn’t even begin to comprehend where she drew all the energy from, it was like an evil spirit possessed her and wouldn’t stop until it reached its goal. the goal being to own all the latest and cutest items of clothing. this time, you couldn’t even rely on megumi or yuuji to bail you out; nobara had been strict on this being a girls only trip.

you felt a poke to your side, jerking slightly at the sudden jab. you blindly swatted her hand away, not even bothering to look up. “you have fifteen minutes, after that i’m going to drag you out with me, no matter how awful you look. got it?” nobara’s overly friendly tone sent shivers down your spine, knowing that she would pull through with that threat if you didn’t comply. “yes ma’am,” your muffled reply seemed to satisfy her, judging by the shuffling sounds of her slippers and the click of the door as she closed it.

you sighed. better hurry before she dragged you along in only your pyjamas.

nobara took a peek at your phone, curiously glancing at the screen. “who are you texting all this time? is it choso?” she questioned, leaning closer until she was halfway on your seat. you nudged her back gently, hiding the screen from her as your cheeks burned in embarrassment. you hoped that she didn’t see your texts, not wanting her to know that you’d been texting choso the entire time. she’d make a whole fuss about it and then undoubtedly interrogate you - however, on second thought, you pondered over why this was the one issue that you felt wary about, an issue that made it difficult to confide in her. why was that?

you’d been best friends for so long and both of you have had your fair share of partner talk between you. sure, you might lack in that department but regardless, nobara had witnessed you cry, gush and rant about your previous partners already. maybe it was the uncertainty. the fact that you were scared of ruining the dynamic between your friends, in particular yuuji, choso and you. as you dwelled on it, you suddenly felt silly. ever since your feelings for choso suddenly started growing, you’d been jumping to conclusions a lot, something that you rarely ever did. perhaps love really did make you act strange and you needed to snap out of it.

“and if it was?” you mustered up enough courage to give her a vague answer that gave hints but immediately regretted it when you saw nobara’s face light up in glee and what you could only describe as mischief. by giving her an opening like this, you gave her the perfect opportunity to grill you until you gave her a satisfactory answer.

“see i knew you had a crush on choso! are you finally admitting to it? oh god, tell me aaaall the details, we have all the time in the world,” in her excitement, she completely forgot about her drink, abandoning it on her side. oh were you in for a ride. “so spill, and don’t you dare weaseling your way out of this, i-”

you had to stop nobara before she started to derail, frantically shushing her and covering her mouth as you repeatedly assured her that you would be opening up. though her inquisitiveness had initially overwhelmed you, now you felt strangely calm and comfortable enough to confide in her. it took a while for you to unpack the entire timeline of events, your interpretations of choso’s behaviour and your own feelings about… everything. you were thankful that nobara was so incredibly patient and attentive, not once interrupting you but letting you go at your own pace. by the time you finished telling her everything, even she had a pensive look on her face, brows furrowed and eyes staring at her now empty drink as if it could give her an answer. it was as if you could see the cogwheels turning in her head, twisting and turning the course of events until she could come up with a reply.

“see, there’s just something i need you to explain to me first – i don’t understand why you would assume that you’d have no chance with him? choso obviously appreciates and cherishes you a lot, not to mention how many times i’ve brought up the fact that he might actually like like you,” nobara hummed, squinting at you. you knew what that look meant, give a wrong reply and she would pinch you.

“it’s just hard for me to see that when we’ve been such close friends and roommates too, right? it’s like in the rom-coms we watch, neither party would want to ruin the good relationship. added to that, i had the feeling that choso and yuki would be getting back together so it was tricky."

"but that's also an assumption, right? i mean whatever you saw, it could have been anything. and i would think he'd let you know if anything was going on."

you knew it, you knew nobara was right. it was hard to keep a clear head when so many emotions were involved, piling and piling up on you until you were buried and couldn't get back out by yourself. not being able to help yourself, you chuckled, rubbing your cheeks embarrassed. so many months you'd worked on it with choso, properly communicating any problems and worries with each other and then you'd gone and done the exact opposite. it was ironic, you thought - habits could just be broken down as fast as they were built.

doubt was a fickle thing. even the most rational minds could fall victim to it, determination and confidence slowly eroding away as the unpleasant emotion gnawed at one's mind. repeatedly, the worst assumptions would bubble up, clinging onto you until you gave into it.

"yeah i... i do realize that. i was planning to talk to him when i get back because i don't want it to affect our friendship or to make him feel bad for what is actually my issue, you know? we uh, talked again on the phone last night and it made me feel really comforted," your face flushed at the memory, making you flustered.

"aw look at you being all lovey dovey," nobara cooed, nudging you playfully before pulling a grimace. "but no more moping! tell him or i'll do it and you know i-"

"yeah yeah, i know you'll pull through with the threat," you laughed, reaching over to hug your friend tightly. all the weight had been lifted from your shoulders by just letting her in on your innermost thoughts and feelings; you felt thankful that she wasn't trying to push you or laid out an entire roadmap on what to do. that was something you had to figure out for yourself, even if it might end up in the wrong path. though in that case, you supposed that you would still learn from the experiences and could be grateful for the amazing time you'd spent with choso. it was too early to think of failure just yet when you didn't have the chance to talk to him yet. now that the haze of uncertainty had lifted, you wanted to enjoy your summer vacation with your best friends. no more moping around, no more worries.

nobara grinned and pinched your cheeks. "see there she is, laughing and grinning again! back to your old self huh? if you have enough energy to still be this cheerful, i'm sure you have enough energy to go visit a few more shops with me?"

"nobara, no-"

"oh nobara, yes."

exhausted, you plunged face first onto the couch, groaning as you hit the soft pillows and could finally rest your body. you didn’t know which devil nobara sold her soul to to have this much energy for sightseeing, shopping and a quick swim at the beach - but whatever it was, you wanted in on it as well. it would be one hell of a help for all the assignments and exams in the upcoming semester. and maybe there would be more leftover to engage in the hobbies that you usually neglected due to your workload.

yuuji and megumi peeked over at you from their seats, amused at how you sighed in happiness about the newfound comfort. both were glad that nobara hadn't dragged them along, instead enjoying a relaxing day at the beach - though yuuji wasn't able to hide the quiet winces that he let out whenever he moved a little, plagued by a sunburn as he apparently fell asleep while at the beach. megumi stifled a laugh as he threw the bottle of aloe gel to yuuji before turning his attention to you. nobara was nowhere to be seen, having disappeared in her room immediately to try out her new clothing items.

"how was today? stressful?"

"nah it was alright. my feet just hurt - how is it that nobara still has so much energy? i have so many questions. we scoured every corner of the city for every cute boutique," you groaned, turning on your back so you could look at your friend properly. propping your feet up on the pillows, you wiggled around until you got comfortable.

"you tell me! last time she dragged us along, we just had to carry all the bags and boxes for her," yuuji added, hissing at his burns. "but did you have fun at least? it's vacation time, you were supposed to have a nice day."

"oh no yeah, i had a good time, don't worry. i uh-"

should you tell them? you weren't sure. you felt like all the newfound courage suddenly dissipated in the same second that you thought about bringing up your crush. nobara was one thing and megumi most likely would be indifferent to it as long as you were sure about your course of actions, but yuuji? he was choso's brother after all. it added another level of complexity that you didn't take into consideration. megumi immediately sensed your hesitation, watching you intently as he waited for you to continue. yuuji didn’t seem to have noticed your troubled face expression just yet, too absorbed in rubbing aloe on his sunburnt skin.

however, dragging it out any longer wouldn’t be beneficial as well - it would bring new twists and turns that you didn’t account for and had already been bothersome the first time around. better to outright say it and rip it off like a band aid, come hell or high water. after a moment of silence, you finally spoke up: “can i tell you guys something?” yuuji immediately stopped in his movements as if somebody had pushed a button to keep him frozen in time, looking awfully comical as he looked at you with wide eyes. alarms went off in his head, immediately worried that something had happened, whether it had been something during your shopping trip or something concerning choso or yuki.

“it’s nothing bad, i swear!” you immediately assured him, holding your hands up in defense and let out a nervous laugh. “it’s just um. i’m sure everyone has noticed me being a little weird the past few days or weeks even and… i’ll have to come clean eventually, so while we’re all here together, i’m just gonna confess.”

the silence in the room was deafening, suddenly feeling like a large wall between you and your friends. your hands were shaking as you fumbled with your words until finally, the words came out all in one go.

“ihaveabigcrushonchosoandthat’swhyi’vebeenactingsoweird.”

“you what?” megumi looked at you bewildered, not having understood a single word.

“you know. choso? my roommate? yuuji’s brother?”

“y/n, are you seriously trying to explain to me who choso is like we haven’t known each other our entire lives?” megumi questioned you amused, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. you groaned embarrassed, hiding your face in your hands.

“i’m nervous, okay? what i’m trying to say is that i developed a crush on choso. but i’m getting way in my head about it because of our friendship and yuki, so that’s why i’ve been weird. i’m sorry if i made you guys feel uncomfortable or concerned.” sighing, you leaned back on the couch, waiting for your friends’ reactions. both megumi and yuuji stayed silent and you already feared for the worst case scenario before yuuji blurted out: “we’ve known.”

now it was your turn to be flabbergasted by this revelation, abruptly sitting up to stare at your friends with wide eyes.

“what? you haven’t been very subtle with this the entire time, so of course we noticed,” yuuji explained, shrugging slightly before wincing in pain immediately. “i think nobara noticed first and then we kinda talked about it. but neither of us brought it up to you because it was futile until you acknowledged your feelings on your own.”

“and don’t worry, we never talked to choso about this either,” megumi added, offering you a small smile. “i think all of us can assure you that he has not taken any hints or noticed anything, if anything, you’ll have to be super upfront about it for him to understand.”

the sound of heavy and fast footsteps announced nobara’s arrival as she ran downstairs, almost crashing into the walls before catching herself and pointing at the trio accusingly. “how dare you start this discussion without me! i’m an integral part to this, i figured out all of this!” you shushed your friend quickly, pulling her to sit on the couch next to you. though she had been quick-tempered initially, you managed to calm her down just as fast and filled her in on what megumi, yuuji and you had talked about before she joined. the tension that was clinging heavy on your shoulders was lifted with every word that you exchanged, making you feel silly over the fact that you hadn’t talked to your friends about this sooner.

they were your friends after all, they were understanding and caring. and even if it had been something they couldn’t stand behind, they would let you know and not make you feel bad about it. so really, it was you and your anxiety going against each other.

and finally, you made them promise that they would immediately call you out, should you ever become a hermit again. dwelling in the past or catastrophizing the future was no use to you - the time was now and you’d make the best of it, even when things went south. nobara pinched your cheeks, letting you know that she was proud of you for coming out of your shell slowly. contrary to your unfounded worries, yuuji didn’t think much of your crush, he would support you to the best of his abilities. as long as nobody got hurt and nothing would lead to strained relationships, he was fine with it.

it felt good to finally address everything that you’d been avoiding. you felt like you were invincible, on top of the world and able to tackle everything that life would throw towards you - one at a time.

“what are you doing here?” yuuji blurted out bewildered as he stared at his older brother and friends behind him. choso looked at him just as perplexed, not having expected to meet his younger brother while on holiday as well. it was a strange coincidence really. yuuji couldn’t tell but felt like he was a character in his friend’s rom-com life where everything was suddenly coming together and he came face to face with the end boss. choso’s friends were more than thrilled to see yuuji, fussing over him as they reminded him to drop by the tattoo parlor more often to hang out with them. for the first time in a while, he felt nervous upon the prospect of you meeting them so soon when you’d just discussed the events the day before.

“we’re touring the coast - did i forget to tell you?” choso replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he glanced behind him. when he acted like this, yuuji was reminded of a puppy that was guilty about something that it did. “is y/n here?”

“uh yeah, megumi and her went to get some ice cream and uh, nobara is-” yuuji vaguely gestured behind him. “- over there tanning. did you wanna talk to her? i’m sure they’ll be back soon.”

“y/n?” yuki popped up behind choso, eyes sparkling with excitement. "i wanted to hang out with her for a bit as well! choso's told me a lot about her but i haven't gotten the chance to talk to her personally just yet."

"he did?" yuuji was surprised - choso usually dodged any of his attempts to tickle more information out of him.

"well i kind of annoyed him until he did," yuki laughed wholeheartedly, patting choso on the back before leaning closer to yuuji. there was a mischievous glint in her eyes, making his stomach drop. "and between us, i think he likes her," yuki whispered secretively. "am i right?"

yuuji spluttered in surprise; he didn't have to answer, his reaction was enough to let her know that she was right in her guess. but yuki wouldn't be yuki if she didn't have any plans up her sleeves. all it took for the two of you to finally get together was a little push, one that she would gladly provide. in truth, she did have the feeling that you were slightly intimidated by her for whatever reason and perhaps it held you back from proceeding with your plans. nothing that couldn't be fixed with some time getting to know each other as opposed to only hearing things about the other through the grapevine. as soon as yuki spotted you coming closer with ice cream cones in your hand, she waved enthusiastically.

yuuji really had to give you credit, though there was a split second of surprise in your eyes, you caught your composure swiftly and greeted the group with a small smile. choso couldn’t get a word in as yuki dove in, expressing how excited she was to meet you again and whether you minded going for a little stroll with her so you could get to know each other. you couldn’t deny that one part of you was still cautious, though it was probably the best course of action. get the most difficult, or rather troubling, issue out of your way and then work through the rest. if the opportunity was presented to you as if on a silver platter, you would take it. “i uh- sure? but are your friends okay with that?” you asked hesitantly, aware of the curious glances that choso’s friends sent your way.

“yeah, totally. we were just looking for a free spot around here to set up our stuff but honestly, it’ll be more fun joining you guys. we’ll continue traveling tomorrow so might as well make the most of our time with you!” thrusting her bag in choso’s hands, yuki tucked her arm into yours and took off. she laughed playfully as the guys yelled after her but remained unbothered, turning her attention to you. neither of you said a word as you continued walking along the beach, water softly splashing against your feet. the feeling of sand underneath your feet grounded you, reminding you to stay here and not let your thoughts wander. as soon as you were out of ear shot and yuki was sure nobody could hear you, she looked at you.

"so, finally i get to talk to you. how's your trip been so far? you wouldn't believe how chaotic it is with the guys. i don't know whose idea it was to let mahito plan everything." yuki told you with a chuckle. you were glad that she made the first step, melting the ice between you and giving you a perfect topic to ease into the inevitable conversation that was going to come up soon.

"pretty good, i was very stressed about uni and exams so this little trip was very much needed. though i can't say that it hasn't been chaotic either," you joined in with her giggling. "nobara can be very assertive when she's set her mind to something, especially when that something is shopping or just going to fun sightseeing locations."

"i see, i see. i need to meet her as well, she sounds pretty fun. i haven't been able to catch up with everyone here yet," she explained, wistfully staring at the sunset. "i'm sure choso has told you a little about me, right? about our relationship and how i up and left him. i haven't been home in years."

you nodded, confirming her assumptions. yuki, thankfully, was somebody who didn't take anything to heart and remained calm and humorous throughout. even when you let her know that you weren't the biggest fan of her initially, she just laughed it off. yuki acknowledged that she had done choso wrong and though it hadn't been her intention to, it wasn't the right way to end things. "i contacted choso first thing when i got here because i wanted to fix things."

"he deserved the closure that i couldn't give him at the time - i wasn't doing well and couldn't... i didn't have the words to explain him how and why. i thought that leaving would be the best option, so i couldn't hurt him further but well you see how that ended," you looked at the older female, empathizing with her situation. it was easy carrying a conversation with her, when she took everything with a stride and not backing down from difficult questions.

"i know you think the opposite- and don't even try to deny it, i was able to tell by the way you were acting around me sometimes," yuki added immediately as she saw your face. busted, you thought, you really needed to work on a better poker face. "my intention was never to get back together with choso. i just wanted to fix things so that we could move on without any grudges and resentment towards each other. choso felt the same way."

"and um... you know that one time you were at our place?” "oh, that," yuki snorted at the memory of that night. "i think you had the wrong idea then. i misplaced my hotel keys somewhere after getting smashed at the bar with the guys and choso offered letting me sleep over at your guys' place. since we were close to each other and all, you know? nothing happened, i promise. he lent me some clothes and then crashed on the couch."

“i see… this entire time i thought that choso might still harbour some feelings for you and you did as well. that’s also part of the reason why i backed out, i didn’t want to stand in the way of that if that was how he felt. but considering that you and him are of the same mindset, that is not the case…”

"sorry i never had the opportunity to explain to you, you just kinda bolted out of there and choso didn't want to give me your number," she added, nudging you gently. relief washed over you. it was like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over you, finally able to regain your senses. of course, nothing had happened. you felt a little stupid, you should have talked to choso about it sooner. and that one time he knocked at your door? he probably simply wanted to explain himself.

"i uh can give you my number later. thank you for clearing things up, i really appreciate it," you mumbled embarrassed, giving her a small smile. "since you were aware of why i acted like that, i should fess up to you as well, right? i only recently came to terms with these feelings so it's been a little overwhelming for me."

"because you didn't want to ruin the relationship that you two have, hm? been there, done that."

the two of you giggled in mutual understanding. yuki slowly started to become more and more likeable to you, your ill feelings towards her dissipating. she was like an older sister, supportive of your resolve to let choso know how you felt and assured you that it was the right thing to do. she confirmed what you already knew in your heart: as long as you didn't talk about the palpable tension between the two of you, you wouldn't be able to get anywhere.

"i'm so glad we talked about this. really, i didn't want to hold any ill feelings towards you."

"honestly, no hard feelings. i get how it looked like, i quite literally crashed into your lives like a wrecking ball. i keep everybody on their toes with how unpredictable i am and i know not all of my friends and family appreciate that," yuki winked at you. "but i do hope that we'll become great friends. i can square up for you, if choso does anything weird."

by the time yuki and you returned back to your group of friends, the sun was almost gone, only a sliver of orange and red hues painting the sky as nightfall was slowly coming in. you took your time getting to know yuki, knowing that she was going to be a part of your life now. she was intertwined with all of your friends and only wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy. after exchanging numbers, she assured you that she would definitely make time to hang out some more as soon as you returned from your respective trips.

your heart skipped a beat when you finally faced choso, giving him a hug as you let him know that you missed him. choso wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in a bear hug as he murmured against your hair that he missed you as well. neither of you seemed to really want to let go but you knew that everyone would just give you weird looks or tease you about it, if you didn't pull away soon. you really wanted to avoid drawing any attention to you before you talked to choso. "do you have any plans for this evening?" you questioned him quietly as you pulled away.

"not that i'm aware of. we talked about grabbing dinner together while yuki and you were gone but i'm guessing we'll return to the hotel to wash up first before we go. is something wrong?" choso regarded you with concern, looking at you closely to make out any signs of discomfort.

"oh no, i just wanted to talk to you. i would wait until we get back but i feel like... i feel like it would be a good opportunity now," you explained to him, glancing to the side as you noticed some movements. you tried hard to keep a straight face as you saw nobara and yuki giving you a thumbs up, seemingly having bonded already. somehow... somehow you felt like they were ganging up on you already and boy did it feel like you'd be in for a ride.

"sure? i mean we still have a couple of hours until then. you wanna go somewhere more calm to talk?" choso offered, pointing to somewhere in the distance. you agreed silently before giving your friends a sign that you'd be gone for a bit to talk.

the walk towards the little hidden spot underneath some palm trees felt like an eternity, as if you hadn't known each other for quite some time and weren't close at all. it was awkward to say the least. maybe you shouldn't have suggested talking in the way that you did, he must've assumed that something bad was coming. you didn't... couldn't say anything when you finally reached your destination, squirming on the spot as you brushed the sand from side to side with your feet.

"ugh i'm sorry. i dragged you out here to talk and now i'm really nervous about it," you mumbled quietly, not daring to look at him. choso shook his head quickly, assuring you that it was fine. he was patient, not wanting to rush you. after all, it was something the two of you had worked on before - opening up and giving the other time to find the right words so that no misunderstandings would arise between you.

"it's... it's nothing bad, i suppose. but it's been weighing on me and i didn't want you to feel like i was pushing you away again. it's unfair towards you and everybody else that felt uncomfortable because of me."

okay. here it goes, there was no turning back from this point on.

"the reason why everything was so tense between us was because of me. and um- it's because i might have been crushing on you this entire time and realized very, very late," you explained quickly, leaving a small pause so he could process what you had just revealed to him. "so i was in a bad mood sometimes when i didn't understand myself and just took it out on our relationship. i'm really sorry, you were never at fault for it. if anything, i should've talked to you about it before jumping to conclusions. i thought yuki and you were going to get back together and it messed with me."

"hold up." choso stopped you before you could continue. with wide eyes, you stared up at him as he grabbed you by the shoulders and made you look at him. "are you serious right now?"

"dead serious. never been more serious," you retorted. choso suddenly overwhelmed you with a hug, squeezing you tightly. you gasped, losing your footing as you leaned against him and held onto his shirt. "um. what does this mean?"

"i like you too," choso breathed out, relief clear in his voice. "i never considered getting back with yuki. i was going to tell you that we just cleared the air and that i told her i was going to eventually, open up to you about it. but seems the timing was never right for either of us, huh?"

you grinned widely, not being able to hide your joy from him. it felt so unreal, hearing those words from him. while your heart was warm and yearned for him, you weren't sure how to proceed yet. were you a couple just like that? or would you ease into it more, go on dates and that kind of thing? how did people even navigate this? you had so many questions.

"i was hesitant at first since mine and yuki's breakup left such a bitter taste in my mouth but... i didn't want it to ruin whatever relationship would be coming in the future, so i accepted her request to talk. had you asked me a year ago, i would've been angry at you," he hummed quietly, pulling away from you slightly. his arms remained wrapped around your waist, keeping you anchored against him as he looked at you. his eyes sparkled with anticipation and eagerness that wasn't showing on his face otherwise. but you could tell that he was happy, happy that you reciprocated his feelings.

you stayed silent for a while before you finally mustered up the courage to ask: "so are we like a couple now? or... maybe we should discuss this more when we're home."

"i would like to think so, yes," choso intertwined your fingers, swinging your hands ever so slightly between you. "but it would probably be the wisest decision to talk again when we're home. i... want this to be right because i care for you, so much. my heart stopped earlier when you um. told me you liked me, i can't believe-"

"me neither, trust me," you laughed happily, squeezing his hands. even though you knew that things still had to be straightened out, you’d already made a great step forward. his touch felt so familiar and like home, the confession added another layer to your already existing feelings, wrapping you in love and butterflies as if they’d always been there just for you, waiting to be unraveled and discovered. “so… we’ll wait until we get home then?”

“essentially, yes. but it’s nice to know that we’re on the same page about feelings. i really, really like you. so much.”

“okay but… can i kiss you?” you couldn’t resist the temptation, every single cell in your body yearning to feel his lips on yours.

“of course,” choso replied, smiling into the kiss when you finally leaned up and pressed your lips against his, gently cupping your cheeks as he leaned into you.

finally, finally, your heart found the one who would understand and love it the most.

bonus:

“you know, you kinda snitched on yourself when you just assumed out of nowhere that i was asking about choso because i was interested in a relationship with him,” nobara chimed up, peering behind her from the passenger’s seat. in an instant, your cheeks heated up in embarrassment, making you squirm in your seat. you’d almost forgotten about this stupid thought that you had in the beginning and had hoped that she would never catch wind of it as you knew you were being irrational and acting like a highschooler in love. stupid stupid stupid.

“can we not talk about this, please? this is so embarrassing,” you grumbled, lifting your foot slightly to nudge your friend. your friends broke out in booming laughter, highly amused by your bashful reaction, though they thought that it was endearing. really, nobody could resist the temptation to tease you about it. and as they continued to giggle and snort, not being able to calm down, the feeling still warmed your chest. it was moments like these where lighthearted banter, laughter and the feeling of care filled your heart with so much love and appreciation for your friends as you would never be able to navigate these tides without them.

p.s.: if you've made it here, thank you for reading! originally, this chapter was supposed to be much longer but it felt right ending it at this point. the upcoming chapters will be focused on their relationship and couple things, so very fluffy :)

taglist: @darlingdaph @animesllut666 @primavera-allegoria @z3llous @choso-is-love @that-one-band-fan @itadorim @keijisprettygirl

[watchmegetobsessed]

Failed, Faked, Fallen - Harry Styles

a/n: this story was a pain in the ass, not gonna lie and i really thought i would just end up deleting the whole thing but I MADE IT TO THE END YAY so now please take the time to read bc it literally made me want to jump off a cliff lol

special thanks to @pastequeharry​ for putting up with me throught the writing process, she is the reason i didn’t just delete the whole thing haha

pairing: Fratboy!Harry x Reader (fake dating AU)

word count: 16.6k

masterlist

Tonight has been in the making for ten years. Every fiber in your body is protesting against it, but you just can’t carry this massive secret around any longer. You need to tell your best friend that you are in love with him, have been since middle school when you first met him. It’s a scary thing to come clean about your feelings for someone, but you feel like it’s now or never.

Your friendship with Oliver has been always a little… blurry. You were just regular friends when he was dating someone, but whenever he was single, he seemed to seek comfort and intimacy with you. It always starts with him getting a little more touchy and cuddly with you, then comes the kissing and hugging, his hands wandering to places friends shouldn’t explore and you somehow always end up in a bed…  

Then it would immediately change once he got himself a girlfriend and you figured he has just been confused about his feelings for you. It has to be that, right? These past few weeks the situation was the same. He broke up with this girl he was seeing all summer before you all came back to school and you think this is the perfect time to finally talk about what’s really going on between the two of you.

Your roommate, Sandra has helped you with your makeup for tonight’s frat party and now you are deciding on the dress. You want to look your best so when Oliver confesses his love for you tonight, you’ll look as dreamy and pretty as you always dreamed about.

“The black one is fucking mint,” Sandra points at the black bodycon dress lying on your bed. “I can give you my red leather jacket,” she offers, finishing up putting her hoop earrings in.

“The red jacket?” you eye her in surprise. Sandra loves that jacket more than her own life. The two of you have been sharing your clothes since you became roommates last year, but the jacket has been off limits always.

“I know how important tonight is for you. The occasion deserves the red jacket,” she chuckles, stepping to her wardrobe to get the jacket. It’s the most badass leather jacket you’ve ever seen, looks so perfect on Sandra every time she wears, you feel honored she is letting you take it for the day.

“Oliver won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you,” she smiles at you excited once you’re all dressed. The jacket looks amazing, pulls the look together perfectly, you can’t deny that.

Soon enough, the two of you leave the dorm and head in the way of Kappa Chi, that’s only a fifteen minute walk away from your dorm. They are having a party almost every other week, those boys would celebrate the stupidest shit just to fill their house up with people and booze as much as possible. You and Sandra have been attending their parties since first year, it’s always a great way to unwind after a tiring week at uni.

“When is he coming?” Sandra asks over the music once you two arrive and head to the kitchen for a drink.

“Um, he texted me ten minutes ago that he is about to leave soon. He’ll be here shortly,” you tell her and thank her when she hands you a beer in a red solo cup.

The house is packed, just like always. Most of the football players from school are member of Kappa Chi, so naturally, all girls want to be around when they are throwing a party. You could say they are the popular guys, but it’s not like in the movies. They are just some particularly handsome guys living together, attracting a lot of girls. They are not at all unreachable, you are kind of friends with a few of them as well even without being a sorority girl yourself.

Standing in the kitchen you get into a conversation with a few girls from your dorm, that’s when you see Harry Styles storm through the house, Naomi Saddler following behind him, seemingly very much in the middle of a fight he doesn’t want to take part in. You know Harry, but you couldn’t say you two are that close. You did a group project last year together and he is actually a really smart guy despite the gossips about him just being a dumb womanizer. He surely is a ladies’ favorite, but you wouldn’t say the description fits him. You haven’t actually seen him with more than three girls since freshman year, unlike some of his other teammates that hook up with a different girl every weekend. He and Naomi have been in this on-off relationship for a few months now, but you don’t know much about them. You don’t run in the same groups to know the details.

The two of them disappear upstairs and you are pulled out of your thoughts when someone asks you a question, so you forget about Harry and Naomi in a blink of an eye.

An hour passes and still no sign of Oliver and you start to feel anxious. You shoot him a text, struggling a little with the typing thanks to the alcohol you’ve been consuming to keep your cool. Surprisingly, he answers right away.

Oliver: Be there in 3. Meet me outside?

Y/N: Sure!

“Alright, wish me luck,” you tell Sandra as you fill your cup again and head outside.

Kappa Chi has a nice backyard with a decent sized pool, some beerpong tables and lots of lounge chairs. You walk past the beerpong games, paying no attention to them at all as you go for an empty lounge chair. You sit down, fix your dress nervously and wait while you try to think through what you’ll tell him.

You can’t believe you are finally telling him how you are feeling. Your teenager self would be peeing herself is she knew what you are planning to do now. All those years of pining and crying whenever Oliver had a girlfriend in the past, now is your chance to finally be that girl and you’re actually quite convinced he’ll say he feels the same way about you.

Fidgeting with one of the zippers on Sandra’s jacket, you nervously wait for Oliver to show up. You look in the direction of the backdoor right when he appears from the crowd inside. Your heart skips a beat as you stand up quickly, a smile tugging on your lips. You are just about to wave in his way to catch his attention when you see some brunette by his side… holding his hand. And then she kisses him shortly right before they step out of the house.

What the fuck?! This cannot be true. Who is she? And why do you know nothing about her? Did Oliver keep it a secret that he is dating someone? But why?!

For a moment you actually feel like you are about to faint. Blood rushes out of your head as you see the couple walk their way around the beerpong tables, Oliver obviously looking for you, but you can’t bring yourself to move.

“Y/N! There you are!” he beams happily, pulling the brunette with him when he finally spots you. You need a moment for yourself to get over the first wave of your shock.

“Oh, yeah! Hi!” you smile awkwardly, eyes meeting with the girl’s. She is so pretty and actually seems nice. You hate her for that.

“Y/N, I want you to meet Lexi,” Oliver introduces the brunette. “Lexi, this is Y/N.”

“I’ve heard so much about you, Y/N!” she smiles, pulling you into a hug that catches you off guard for sure.

“Wow, I… wish I could say the same,” you bitterly reply, eyes meeting Oliver’s once Lexi lets go of you. He is clearly uncomfortable at your comment, but tries to mask it quickly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to tell you about Lexi. But it’s kind of new.”

“How new?”

“We’ve been going out for about three weeks,” she answers your question, her hand finding his pretty quickly as she smiles up at him with so much adoration.

“Oh,” is all you manage to get out for a moment. You still haven’t completely processed that your plan just went straight out the window and that once again, Oliver chose another girl over you.

But then, the more you think about it, the angrier you get. You are tired of this stupid game you two have been playing, but you also have no idea what to do about it.

“I thought that Y/N, if you have a boyfriend, we could maybe go on some double dates! Would be so much fun!” Lexi suggests, but her words make your stomach churn. You have always wanted to go on double dates, but with Oliver being your date. Not someone else’s…

“I uhh… I don’t…” You are so frozen, you can’t even think of an answer, you just want to leave as soon as possible, so you can cry yourself to sleep. Oliver brings an arm around Lexi’s shoulders, looking down at you as if he wasn’t cuddling you just not that long ago. As if he wasn’t preaching your beauty a few weeks ago, making you feel like the only girl in the world. This is so not fair.

“Y/N is not a fan of double dates.”

Suddenly, an arm swings around your shoulders and a tall body stands next to you, pulling you to his side. Turning your head you are shocked to see Harry standing there, smiling at Oliver and Lexi as if this discussion was completely his business.

Oliver seems just as shocked as you are. He is staring at the football player by your side with wide eyes.

“Wait, you two are… dating?”

“It’s pretty new, but yeah. Y/N and I have been going out for a while. Right, baby?” He squeezes your arm, glancing down at you and when your eyes meet, he gives you a look that says ‘just go with it, I’m saving your ass’ and you decide to play your part.

“Oh, umm, yeah. We’ve kind of reconnected when we got back after the summer,” you nod, hoping that your voice doesn’t give you away.

“That’s amazing!” Lexi cheers, clearly eating up the impromptu lie, but as you glance at Oliver, you can tell he is sceptic.

“I didn’t even know you were friends in the first place,” he comments, eyebrows furrowed a little as he eyes Harry’s hand on your shoulder.

“We were! We had a great time working on a group project last year and then later I asked for her number. But the summer was so busy for both of us, so we kind of fell out, but then we met again in September and I finally manned up to ask her out.”

You are impressed by how easily Harry is lying. If you didn’t know it wasn’t true, you would eat it up just as easily as Lexi is doing right now. Especially because his body language matches up with what he is saying so well. He is keeping you close, fingers dancing on your upper arm and shoulder, anyone would think he actually has a thing for you, but you know that’s not true. You two are barely even friends.

“That sounds so nice. We definitely should meet up sometime, the four of us!” Lexi suggests again and you stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“We’ll see about that. But I’ll have to steal Y/N away now, I have something to show her.” Harry bids his goodbye quickly, pulling you away before Oliver could even say a thing and you just blindly follow him inside the house.

You don’t even process what’s happening. Harry takes your hand, pulling you through the crowd and you catch Sandra’s gaze who is still standing in the kitchen, her eyes widening when she sees you with Harry. You just shrug in confusion, following Harry upstairs until he leads you into a room that, you assume, is his.

When he shuts the door closed, the noises of the party gets muffled and you look at him with probably the stupidest look ever.

“Alright, let me explain myself,” he breathes out. “I’m sorry if I stepped over some boundaries, I just… I was outside and heard the conversation. Thought I would help you out.”

“But what made you think I needed help?” you ask. The conversation was very innocent for an outsider. He couldn’t know what you were planning to do, so why did he think you needed his help?

Harry gives you a tight-lipped smile, cocking his head to the side.

“Y/N, we might not be close friends, but I’ve seen you around with Oliver. It’s written on your forehead that you have the fattest crush on the guy.”

“What?!” you snap, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Is this really that obvious?!”

“Don’t worry, seems like he is one of the few that don’t seem to notice it. I saw how uncomfortable you were when he introduced the girl. Seemed like you needed the help.”

Nodding you take a few seconds to process everything that just happened. You shouldn’t have drunk that much, because now your brain has to work even harder to put the picture together.

“Alright, but… now they think that we are dating. Lexi will want to meet up with us and it will look stupid if we never even show up again together.”

Harry nods, his lips rolling into his mouth and you know just from his look that there’s more.

“Yeah, about that. I might have had some selfish reasons behind my actions as well.”

“What do you mean?”

Harry walks past you, over to his bed and sits on the edge, leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs. You’re not sure what to do with yourself, if you should sit next to him or somewhere else, he has a few beanbags in the corner of his room, but you decide to just keep standing.

“So, I don’t know if you know this but I had this thing with Naomi Saddler.”

“Harry, everyone knows it.”

“Right, yeah,” he chuckles awkwardly. “So the thing is, we have broken up a long time ago, but she keeps coming after me and I’m just so over it. So when we were fighting earlier today I told her that I’m dating someone else so I would appreciate if she left me alone.”

He doesn’t need to say more, you finally see the whole picture. He helped you because he felt sorry for you, but also because he thought it would benefit him as well. You could be his new girlfriend so Naomi would finally let him be. You have to admit, it’s a lucky coincidence, but still, the situation is a little absurd for your liking.

“So… what are we supposed to do now?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Harry looks up at you, seemingly surprised you haven’t snapped at him.

“Well, I know it sounds crazy, but I think we both would benefit from it if we just… pretended to be a couple,” he clears off.

“Like, a real couple?”

“Well, obviously not real, but it would look real to others,” he chuckles, standing up and taking a few steps closer to you. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m convinced we could pull it off.”

“We barely know each other.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for that, won’t we?” he asks with a boyish smirk. “Look, we just have to appear together here and there. I’ll pick you up sometimes, we can go for lunch or dinner sometimes, and I’ll get you tickets for some of my games. That’s it. People will see us out together and that’s gonna be perfectly enough. Or do you actually hate me? Now is the time to tell me.”

“I don’t hate you, I don’t know you that well,” you reply with a soft chuckle. “But I’m not convinced enough this is a good idea at all.”

Harry sighs and walks closer until he can rest his hands on your shoulders. You look deep into his green eyes as he smiles at you warmly.

“Let’s make a deal. You can use me as an excuse whenever Oliver and Lexi wants to hang out with you, or if they actually force you to meet them, I’ll go with you so you won’t be the third wheel. And you’ll just have to say that I’m your boyfriend and spend some time with me so Naomi believes I’m dating you. I think it’s a fair deal for the both of us. And you can call it off anytime, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

You chew on your bottom lip, thinking hard to figure out what to do. Judging from this short conversation with Lexi, you’re sure she’ll try to keep you around often, but you are not in the mood to watch Oliver be all lovey-dovey with someone else, so you could actually use a solid excuse, which Harry just offered you on a silver plate. You just have to spend some time with him in exchange and tell people he is your boyfriend. It’s not that horrible and you always thought Harry is nice company, you two just never was in the same friend group to get closer. You can’t really bring up anything against his plan.

“Okay,” you finally nod, Harry’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Really?”

“Why are you so shocked? Your points were valid, I’m willing to give it a try.”

“Yes! Thank you!” he cheers, arms wrapping around you as he hugs you tight in excitement. “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, you won’t be disappointed!”

You want to say how it’s easy to be the best because you’ve had none so far, but you decide to keep this information to yourself.

“We need to get our story straight though, so we don’t mess it up when someone asks.”

The two of you go over an elaborate timeline of your nonexistent relationship so you’ll be able to tell the same story. It’s the same he told Lexi and Oliver outside, you just agree on the details, like when you started dating, how he asked you out, what you’ve been doing as a couple lately.

When you leave his room a little later you’re still a tad bit shocked where this evening ended up heading. You really thought tonight would be the turning point for you and Oliver, but now you are in a fake relationship with Harry Styles, ready to fool everyone around you.

Walking down the stairs Harry takes your hand and laces your fingers together. You agreed on no kissing on the lips for now, but other touching is allowed, you’re just not used to have someone other than Oliver touch you like this.

“Want another drink?” he asks as the two of you walk into the kitchen. You’ve already caught some wide-eyed look upon your arrival, but you’re trying your best to ignore them.

“I surely need it,” you nod, making Harry chuckle.

Sandra and the other girls are still in the kitchen and she immediately pulls you to the side when Harry lets go of you to get drinks.

“What the fuck?!” she snaps, clearly a little drunk, but not enough to ignore the fact that she has seen you now two times holding Harry’s hand.

“Sandra, don’t freak out, I’ll explain it all when we go home, alright? But… as far as you know, Harry and I are dating.”

“You what? You better fucking tell me everything when we get back to the dorm!” she demands right when Harry appears, two cups in his hands, giving you one of them.

“Here,” he smiles warmly.

“Thank you. Harry, this is Sandra, my roommate.”

“Hi, I think I’ve seen you around, but we just never met.” Harry holds out his now empty hand and Sandra shakes it with a dramatic smile, clearly still confused about the situation.

“Yeah, but I guess we’ll be… seeing each other more?” she implies, telling Harry she knows something is up without using those words.

“Ehm, I guess,” he nods, a little uncomfortable before he turns to you. “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. Let me know when you want to go back to the dorm.” “Sure,” you nod, Harry squeezes your hand gently before moving away.

Sandra is dying to know what the situation is with Harry, but you don’t really have the chance to talk in the middle of the party, so it’s postponed to later. You and Harry do your own thing through the rest of the night, occasionally interacting whenever you cross paths. When that happens he makes sure to touch your arm or face, have a few words with you so people see that the two of you have a thing going on.

It’s a little past one am when you and Sandra decide it’s time to head home. As promised, you shoot Harry a text that you’re planning to leave and he replies with one saying he’ll meet you outside at the front. By the time you and Sandra step outside, he is already there waiting.

“Ladies, let me walk you home,” he smirks charmingly, offering his arm for the both of you, so this is how you head home: you, Sandra and Harry walking side by side with linked arms.

“Mm, Harry, I hope you know you won’t be spending the night in our room,” Sandra sighs, clearly a little too lost in her drunk thoughts. Harry chuckles, finding it amusing that Sandra is so blunt.

“Weren’t planning to.”

“Good. I’m not gonna listen to you guys have sex all night.”

“Sandra!” you snap at her, gasping. It’s funny how she also believed the little act you and Harry put up tonight.

The walk back to the dorm is short and it’s mostly filled with Sandra’s babbling about whatever catches her attention. Arriving to the building Sandra says her goodbye to Harry, heading up to the room on her own so you can have a minute with Harry.

“I’ve had at least ten people coming up to me tonight, asking about you,” Harry tells you, an excited sparkle in his eyes.

“Really? And what did you tell them?”

“What we agreed on. That you’re my girlfriend.”

“Sounds so weird,” you admit with a chuckle.

“You’ll get used to it,” he nods smiling. “Well, I’m gonna head back. I’ll talk to you later, okay? We’ll discuss the dates and all.”

“Very romantic,” you point out smirking, but Harry just laughs before he gives you a quick hug.

“Good night, Y/N. Or should I say, baby?”

“Bye!” you sing waving in his way as you walk into the building.

It’s no surprise that Sandra is already out when you walk into the room. Her clothes are in a pile next to her bed, but she managed to throw on at least a t-shirt before she passed out. You just smile at her before doing your quick night routine and go to sleep yourself.

“So… you are fake dating Harry, because Oliver introduced you his new girlfriend and also because he is trying to get rid of Naomi? Am I getting this right?”

Sandra narrows her eyes at you over her morning coffee the next day, though it’s already past noon. Waking up was a little painful for the both of you, but especially for her, the two of you decided to treat yourselves for a very late brunch while you tell her everything she needs to know about last night.

“Yeah,” you nod, taking a bite from your waffles. “I know, it sounds stupid, but… it can easily work great for the both of us.”

“I can’t believe he just came up with it. You guys are not even really friends.”

“I know, I was shocked when he appeared all of a sudden and called me baby. Almost fainted,” you chuckle.

“I hope you know you’ll be one of the most envied girls in school if the news spread and I’m sure it will, because even I heard people talking about you and Harry last night.”

“I know, but there’s not much I can do about that,” you shrug.

“I feel like it’s the plotline of some teenage rom-com,” Sandra huffs. “Just be careful, Y/N,” she sighs, finishing off her coffee.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that pretending can easily turn into reality. If you’ll spend so much time with Harry, there’s a chance you’ll develop real feelings for him. Just make sure you won’t end up with a broken heart.”

“That’s silly, I won’t fall for Harry. I…” You cut your words, thoughts wandering over to Oliver right away, and how you felt when he introduced you to Lexi.

“I hope you’re right,” Sandra tells you, stuffing the last bits of her muffin into her mouth.

The weekend flies by fast, you busy yourself with doing laundry and finishing a paper you need to turn in soon. Harry text you on Sunday that he’ll walk you to class on Monday morning and you agree to meet up a little earlier so you can actually talk it all out.

Sandra is still in bed when you leave in the morning. Just as Harry promised, he is waiting for you in front of the building, wearing his usual black skinny jeans and a loose grey shirt and a zip-up hoodie. His curls look untamed, a little all over the place, but it looks good on him. You have to admit, that he is definitely handsome, you understand why so many of the girls at school are after him.

“Good morning, girlfriend,” he smirks, holding out his hand for you that you take, still feeling a little weird about walking around campus hand in hand with him.

“Good morning. How was your weekend?”

“Pretty boring, we had to clean up after the party,” he chuckles. “Wanna grab a coffee?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You swing by the little café that’s on campus before aiming for a bench under one of the pergolas near the main building.

“So, you still haven’t changed your mind,” he speaks up. It’s not a question, more like a comment.

“Not yet,” you chuckle softly, sipping on your cappuccino.

“I meant it that you can tell me whenever you want out. I don’t want to force you into it in any way.”

“I know,” you smile at him. “I’m fine for now. It’s just still a little weird.”

“I know, but I’m kind of happy you are the one I’m doing this with.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know, you seem like a cool person. I actually enjoyed working with you last year on that project, you are funny and smart, I think we’ll get along pretty well.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he smirks at you, taking a sip from his coffee. “You know, if I’m being honest I never understood why you and that Oliver guy were so close anyway. You’ve known him for a long time?”

“Yeah, met him in middle school and we’ve been friends since then.”

“And how long have you been… you know,” he implies, seemingly very careful not to ask something that would upset you.

“Pretty much ever since I’ve met him,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. It sounds so embarrassing to admit that you’ve been in love with your best friend for so long and never worked up the courage to do something about it.

“You never even tried to tell him?”

“I was too afraid of his reaction. I was planning to come clean at the party finally, but then he arrived with Lexi and… you know the rest.”

“I’m sorry. I know how shitty it is when you have feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same about you.”

“So what’s the situation with you and Naomi then?” you ask, thinking it’s only fair if you also know his story now that you confessed him how ridiculous you’ve been with Oliver all your life.

“We dated at the end of last semester, tried to keep it up in the summer as well, but it didn’t work. It made me realize I don’t even want it to work so I told her that we should just go our separate ways when I got back after the summer, but she wasn’t a fan of my idea.”

“She’s still in love with you?”

“I’m not sure if she ever was,” he truthfully answers. “I think she liked the idea of dating someone more than she liked me.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” he smirks at you playfully. “I’m all good. I just wish she could accept that I want to move on. It’s not ideal that I have to fake date someone to get rid of her.”

“She always seemed like a nice girl to me, I wouldn’t have guessed she can be so stubborn.”

“Well, she is a nice girl,” Harry nods. “We were just not compatible on the long run, you know? I couldn’t see it work in the future, so I didn’t want to waste more time on it.”

You just shyly nod, even though you don’t really know about it. You can’t, because you’ve never been in a similar situation. You’ve had a few attempts at dating in high school, but they never turned out the way you wanted and you always ended up pining after Oliver at the end, so you eventually gave up. But you’re not willing to admit that to Harry. It’s pathetic enough that you’ve been so hung up on Oliver your whole life, he doesn’t need to know that you gave up your whole dating life for the wait for him.

“Well, aren’t we a nice pair then? Two ridiculously failed love stories, how tragic,” Harry chuckles softly as he finishes up his coffee and throws the empty cup into the bin next to him.

“Yeah, pathetic,” you agree with a tight-lipped smile.

It takes some time for word to travel, but by the end of the first week of your fake relationship, it becomes a well-known fact that you are indeed dating Harry Styles. You don’t overdo it though, only meeting up once or twice a day, Harry usually walks you to your classes in the morning if he doesn’t have a lecture himself, you’ve had lunch together twice and you went to the library on Thursday together. It’s been pretty casual and you’ve been actually enjoying spending time with Harry, especially because it seems like Oliver has fallen off the face of Earth lately, barely even talking to you.

The more time you spend with Harry the more you realize he is nothing like others try to make him look like. You’ve heard many gossips about him being an empty-headed womanizer, but he is a lot smarter than people assume him to be, but he has proven it before as well. He actually has a great point of view of life and it’s nice to discuss basically anything with him.

Friday brings another party and though you didn’t plan on going, you had Sandra and Harry convincing you this time. Then later Oliver texted you asking if you’d be there and it angered you a little. He barely spoke to you and is now asking if you are coming to the party where he’ll probably keep ignoring you for Lexi. So you told him you and Harry would be there. He didn’t reply to that.

You and Sandra call an Uber, the Omega house is a little farther away from the dorm than the Kappa house. Harry called you to tell you he’d be a little late this time because they are having a double practice today, but he would come and find you when he arrives.

“Isn’t it a little weird you can’t hook up with anyone because of the Harry situation?” Sandra asks as the two of you make your way through the spacious living room, heading to the empty loveseat in the corner.

“As if I did a lot of hooking up before,” you scoff, taking a sip from your drink.

“Okay, but you could be doing it now, but you can’t, because people would think you’re cheating.”

“It’s a good thing then that I’m not into hooking up,” you point out with a shrug. You were never a fan of just hooking up with someone and then move on the next morning, that’s just not for you. It’s not a big deal that you are kind of out of the dating scene because of your arrangement with Harry, you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.

The two of you are joined by a few peers from one of Sandra’s classes and you barely even notice when Oliver and Lexi arrive, however, they immediately spot you.

“Y/N! Hi! So good to see you again!” Lexi greets you, pulling you into a completely unnecessary hug.

“Oh, hi. Good to see you too, I guess,” you chuckle awkwardly. Oliver gives you a side hug as well, but it seems like he is not entirely present in his head.

“Where’s Harry?” Oliver questions.

“He’ll be here soon, he just had double practice today,” you tell him and he nods shortly, but something feels off about him.

Lexi makes you come to the kitchen with them so she can get a drink and you can’t really think of a reason why you shouldn’t, so you find yourself listening to her nonstop chatter while Oliver is mixing them something to drink.

Y/N: Harry, SOS! When are you getting here?? I’m stuck with O and L…

You really hope he is somewhere close, because you’re not sure how long you can put up with their company.

“I know last time you said you’re not a fan of double dates, but I really think we should give it a try!” Lexi begs you, she even puts her bottom lip at you and it annoys you how she can’t just leave you to be.

“Yeah, I would love to get to know Harry better,” Oliver chimes in.

“You do?”

Relief washes over you the moment you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, a moment later you feel his palm on the small of your back and you’re finally rescued. He smells like fresh body wash, he surely just had a shower right before he came here. You let yourself lean into his side, curling an arm around his waist.

“Harry, nice to see you again,” Oliver smiles at him dryly and now you’re sure something is up with him, but what is it?

“Sorry I’m so late. Everything alright?” Harry looks you in the eyes and you know his question is more than just him being nice. He wants to know if Oliver and Lexi has driven you up the walls.

“I’m… fine, yeah,” you nod and he holds your gaze for another moment before nodding to himself.

“We were just talking about how amazing a double date would be. I’m sure you could convince Y/N to come, right?” Lexi smiles at Harry and you catch a small frown on his face before he returns the smile to Lexi. You find it funny, but you push down your laugh.

“Um, not sure. Y/N always has a strong will, not sure I want to go against it.”

“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!”

“Y/N doesn’t like PDA, I’m sure double dating is a lot for her,” Oliver comments and your eyebrows shoot up at his words.

“How would you know if I disliked PDA?”

He has no valid information about it. He wouldn’t know, because the only person you ever wanted to get touchy and lovey in public was him, but he only let you get physically close to him when no one was around. When he felt like he needed someone in his bed so he didn’t feel too alone. When he let his hands roam your body under the blanket when you were watching a movie. He never let it happen with others around though, so how would he even know what you like? Hell, even you don’t know it…

Oliver’s eyes meet yours and it’s clear that your question caught him off guard.

“You told me,” he simply answers.

“I don’t remember,” you retort, not letting him get away with it this time.

“This is how you’ve always been.” He is clearly pissed that you are going against him.

“You know what? Let’s do a double date next weekend, alright? But we have somewhere to be now, if you’ll excuse us,” Harry cuts in, taking your hand as he pulls you away from the happy couple. You glance back at Oliver one last time before turning around.

Harry walks you out to the backyard and the cool air hits you hard in the head. You haven’t even realized how hot you were getting in there, but you’re not entirely sure it was because of all the people, rather of because Oliver’s behavior.

“Okay, what the fuck was that in there?” Harry questions.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I’m not dumb or blind. Lexi might be oblivious to whatever you and Oliver have going on, but I’m not. Something has happened between you and him, right?”

You chew on your bottom lip, crossing your arms on your chest, not too keen on admitting it. You have never told anyone about it in details, not even Sandra. She knows you and Oliver get a little too close at times, but she has no idea you’ve slept with him on several occasions. You always thought you were a fool for sleeping with him and then watching him date other girls.

Unfortunately, your silence is enough for Harry to draw his conclusion.

“Wait, what? Did you two…?”

“Yes,” you shortly nod, feeling uncomfortable, but you can tell you can’t dodge this conversation this time.

“You’re telling me he has the nerve to sleep with you whenever it’s convenient for him and then drop you when he starts dating someone else?”

“It sounds worse than how it really is,” you mumble, but you don’t truly believe your own words. It’s pretty bad either way.

“Y/N, this is fucked up. A friend wouldn’t do that to you. It’s one thing to seek comfort at your friends, but using them for your own physical needs is just way beyond the line.”

You have nothing to say. Deep down you know he is right, you’ve always known, but you never knew what to do against it. Before you could even stop yourself, you feel your lips trembling, tears bubbling in your eyes as you glance at Harry. You expect pity from him, an act that tells you that you brought it all to yourself, but that’s not what you see. He gives you an apologetic look and he is quick to pull you into a tight hug, exactly what you need right now.

“I know, I’m so stupid,” you mumble into his chest.

“You’re not. He is just an ass,” he corrects you, earning a small chuckle from you. “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he asks, pulling back so he can look into your eyes.

“You just got here.”

“Yeah, but I’m not really in the mood to party. Want to have a bite somewhere?”

“That would be… great,” you nod with a small smile, sniffling a little before you wipe your cheeks.

You let Sandra know you’re leaving with Harry and she can tell something has happened, but you just tell her you’ll talk later and she doesn’t push it further. Harry takes your hand as the two of you make your way through the people and you spot Oliver near the kitchen, one arm around Lexi’s shoulders as his gaze meets yours. You see him clenching his jaw when he sees your hand in Harry’s hold, but you don’t pay much attention to him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

Luckily Harry drove to the Omega house so now you don’t have to wait for a car or take a long walk, you can enjoy the comfort of his Rover as the two of you leave the party behind. It’s silent in the car, you fold your arms over your chest, your head resting against the car door, not even questioning him where you are headed.

About ten minutes later Harry pulls up at a little diner, the two of you walk in and it’s not surprising there are just a few people lingering around at this time, though you know later they’ll have quite a few drunk students that are on their way home and in desperate need of a late night bite.

You take an empty booth and a waitress arrives immediately, handing you each a menu.

“Do you go here often?” you ask quietly, eyeing the options.

“Sometimes. They have great fries.”

You nod and decide to have just a cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade while Harry gets the veggie burger and a milkshake. The waiter takes the order shortly and leaves you alone. You’re not sure what to say, but you feel like you need to say something.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, staring down at your arms laying on the edge of the table, your right hand covering your left.

“For what exactly?”

“For… I just feel so stupid about this whole… Oliver thing. I know I shouldn’t have done what we did, but I just… couldn’t say no. I know, sounds ridiculous.”

“No, not at all,” Harry shakes his head. “You fell for him and he used you. If there’s anyone to blame it’s him, he shouldn’t use a friend for his own selfish needs. I’m not judging you, it’s easy to fall into holes like this.”

“I just really thought that he came to me because I meant something for him, but I can tell that… it wasn’t anything like that. The way he acted today was shockingly sobering,” you chuckle bitterly. “I think he is mad that I’m not available for him anymore and he is trying to play us down,” you say pointing at him and yourself. “So when he breaks it off with Lexi he can count on me, but it’s not happening.”

“I am happy to help you teach him any kind of lesson,” Harry grins just as the waiter arrives with the food and you start the feast. “I know you despise the idea of going on a double date with them, but I think we could have a lot of fun,” Harry points out while eating.

“How?”

“It’s obviously bugging Oliver that you are dating someone, we could give him the extra happy couple act, make him question why he was always such an asshole to you.”

“You think it would bother him?”

“Absolutely,” he chuckles. “We would serve him all the sappy, lovey couple shit from movies and get under his skin. I think it would be fun.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” you nod and Harry grins at you from across the table.

“Yes! Fake dating on maximum level!” he cheers, punching into the air, making you laugh.

As the two of you eat Harry talks your ears off and you know exactly why he just keeps on talking. He wants to take your mind away from everything about Oliver and he succeeds. He tells you stories about what it’s like to live in the frat house, all the funny things they’ve done with the boys and you just keep laughing and laughing until all the food is gone, the table is cleared off and it’s nearing one in the morning. Just as you expected, people from around the campus start dropping by for their midnight bite so the two of you slowly head out, not really wanting to run into someone you know. Harry drives you back to the dormitory and walks you up to the entrance.

“Thank you for tonight,” you breathe out, still feeling a little helpless and pathetic, but he definitely made it better with his company.

“No worries. After all, this is what boyfriends are for,” he chuckles lightly. “But I hope you are not gonna sink into self-pity over that douche.”

“Just a little?” you peek up at him with a scowl.

“Nope, not even a little, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve your time. If he is really gonna let you slip through his fingers, he is the biggest idiot on Earth. And he also has to be blind.”

For some reason, Harry’s words bring a blush to your cheeks, even if there’s a chance he doesn’t really mean them.

“Thank you,” you breathe out and he pulls you in for a hug without hesitation. You wrap your arms around his waist and inhale his sweet scent, melting into his warm embrace before you force yourself to let your arms fall from around his frame.

“Have a good rest of your weekend, girlfriend,” he smirks, backing towards his car. “I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Bye Harry!” you smile in his way before making your way inside.

Not too willingly, but you talk to Oliver the next week about the double date. He sounds clearly surprised that you brought it up yourself and he tries to talk you down, but you’re now way too curious about what would go down, so he has no choice than to say yes. You fix the date to Saturday and Harry says it’s fine for him and that the two of you can go over to the frat house later, they are gonna have a small get together for one of the guys’ birthday. Not a party, more of a beer and pizza type of evening since Clyde, the birthday boy is not that big of a party animal.

The week passes by as usual, you spend some time with Sandra and a little more with Harry. Since you’ve started this whole dating thing, you’ve found yourself getting used to have him around. It doesn’t feel forced anymore, you actually like hanging out with him, have him beside you in the library even if you’re not even talking and whenever you spot him waiting for you in the morning or after one of your classes, you have this stupid smile on your face walking up to him, especially when he calls you girlfriend. Sandra’s warning words pop up in your head time to time, telling you to be careful with having actual feelings for Harry, but you keep telling yourself the two of you are nothing else than just good friends.

Saturday morning you get your nails done with Sandra, have some much needed girly time since you’ve had little of that lately, even a fake relationship needs a lot of time and energy, if you’re being honest.

Sandra catches you smiling down at a text that’s from Harry, he just joked about wearing a tux to the roller-skating rink and you imagined it right away, the picture of everyone else dressed casually while he is dressed for a royal ball is just hilarious.

“So how are things with Harry?” she asks from the chair next to you.

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyes fixed on your nails as the lady is carefully painting them a light pink color.

“You two are like glued together.”

“Yeah, I like spending time with him. And like, we are dating,” you smirk, finding it funny to just casually say it.

“You do know you don’t have to keep the act up with me, right?”

“I know, but we really are friends,” you nod.

“Just friends? Because sometimes being friends with someone is a bit more to you,” she comments and your face falls. She right away realizes it was a little harsh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean to be a bitch. I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t want to see another guy taking advantage of you.”

“He is already taking advantage of me in a way, but it’s mutual,” you shrug, trying to mask the fact how much her words hurt. You’re still trying to get over the whole Oliver thing and though it’s been easier with Harry around, you still feel hurt over how badly he has been using you in the past years.

“And… you don’t have feelings for him?”

“We’re friends,” you tell her again.

“Yes, but you can have feelings for a friend too, Y/N.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it. We are doing fine, I enjoy being with him, that’s all.”

“Alright, I believe you. Just want to make sure you are not getting yourself into another Oliver situation.”

“I’m not. Harry is not him,” you firmly state and it’s the truth. Even if things go south with him, you can never see him do the things Oliver did. He is not him in the best possible way.

 For the double date you choose to wear your favorite pair of light-washed mom jeans with a tank top tucked into it and a colorful cardigan under your jacket. Harry texted you that he would pick you up at six and because you are ready by half past five, you sit around in your room a little anxiously. You honestly have no idea what’s gonna happen tonight, where it’s gonna head but you can only hope it won’t be scandalous. People already talk enough about you for dating Harry, you don’t need to be known about being the girl who made a scene at the roller-skating rink with her boyfriend and best friend. It wouldn’t do good to your reputation.

When Harry finally texts you letting you know he has arrived you rush down the stairs, still haven’t been able to shake your nerves off, but as soon as you spot him standing by his car, you kind of forget about everything else. He is wearing his usual skinny jeans with a black shirt, of course, the first few buttons left undone. His hair is getting longer, curls constantly falling into his forehead, but you love it. Makes him look soft and like… like a prince.

“Hey, ready to have fun?” he smirks at you, opening the door to the passenger seat to you.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready for this kind of fun,” you admit with a soft chuckle before getting into the car.

“I’ll be right there with you, okay? We’re gonna crush them,” he grins at you driving. “And we can just leave whenever you want to.” Reaching over the console he takes your hand and squeezes it gently. The gesture sends a shiver running down your spine. It feels so good to have his support, you wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else than him.

Oliver and Lexi are already at the arcade that’s connected with the skating place when the two of you arrive. She looks ecstatic about tonight and it’s almost kind of cute, you’re convinced you’d actually be friends with her if the two of you met under different circumstances.

“Hi! Thank you so much for coming! I know it’s not really your thing, but I’m so happy we can finally hang out!” she cheers, giving you a hug. Oliver and Harry shake hands and Harry gives Lexi a short hug while you just awkwardly nod in Oliver’s direction, already feeling anxious in his presence. Harry takes your hand walking in and squeezes it gently. Peeking up at him he gifts you with a warm smile that tells you: it’s gonna be alright, I’m here with you.

Once all four of you have changed your shoes to your skates and put your belongings to the lockers you head to the rink, you and Lexi in the middle, Harry on your other side while Oliver is on Lexi’s other side.

“Y/N, Oliver has told me a lot about you. What was it like, growing up with him?” Lexi asks as the four of you roll around. You’re not the worst at roller-skating, you can move confidently, but it seems like Harry is the best out of all of you, easily moving around, as if he were on his feet.

Thinking back at your time with Oliver now at Lexi’s question, it’s quite bittersweet. Because you are starting to realize things you didn’t see back then. Like how you were always in his shadow, he was always the guy everyone liked and you were just the girl that tagged along.

“Um, not sure what you want to know about,” you chuckle awkwardly as you watch Harry throw his ball for the first time.

“Was he a womanizer? Tell me the truth! He says he barely dated a few people,” she chuckles, taking Oliver’s hand. He is pretty much avoiding to look you in the eyes as you glance over him and you really wish she didn’t ask you about it.

“He had quite a few… flings,” you say, not entirely sure how to phrase it. He wasn’t a womanizer, but he did start to hook up with you between girls a while ago, making his reputation a little questionable.

“I knew you were downplaying it!” she playfully smacks his chest and you just bite into your bottom lip. This is already so awkward.

“I think Y/N is just exaggerating,” Oliver chimes in, seemingly not a fan of the conversation either.

“Sure, it’s always me,” you mumble under your breath.

Harry takes your hand and gets a little ahead of you before turning around so he is facing you while skating backwards.

“Hey baby, want me to teach you how to go in zig-zag?” he smirks, clearly wanting to ease the tension. Nodding you let him take both of your hands as the two of you stay a little back from Oliver and Lexi. “Don’t let him get under your skin. He is a fucking asshole,” he tells you when he knows they can’t hear him.

“Was he always like this? I have no idea how I could put up with his act,” you mumble with a scowl.

“Fuck them. Come on, let’s have a good time,” he grins before taking the lead.

Harry makes your forget about them so easily, like it’s not even a double date, just the two of you hanging out. He keeps teaching you moves, laughing together whenever you get wobbly. He catches you every time when you’re about to lose your balance, he doesn’t let you fall and every time his arms circle around you, keeping you on your feet steadily, you find yourself blushing at how close he is getting to you. His hands holding yours, small touches on your arms and back, he takes every chance to connect the two of you and you enjoy every second of it.

“Harry, no!” you laugh as he holds your hand, still going around.

“Come on! Just try it! Just a little jump!” he encourages.

“Do you want to see me fall?”

“I would have let you fall a long time ago if that’s what I wanted,” he smirks. He gets ahead of you again, both his hands taking yours and you still can’t get used to how soothing his palms feel against yours. “I’ll catch you this time too, don’t worry.”

“I swear you are trying to kill me,” you groan as you try to figure out how to do a little jump without breaking a bone. “But just a little one!”

“The tiniest one,” he chuckles nodding.

You let him take the lead and he starts pulling you again, skating backwards like he did all evening and when you feel like you’re stable enough, you give it a go.

Unfortunately, what happens is exactly what you were expecting. When your skates meet with the floor again after the little jump, you don’t find your balance and immediately feel your feet rolling out from under yourself. Harry reaches out for you, just like he promised, grabbing onto your arm with one hand while the other one presses into your back, but this time he can’t save you and you pull him with yourself as well. The two of you end up falling to the ground in a laughing mess as Harry is partially lying on you, an arm stuck under you while the other one is across your chest.

“I told you!” you cry out but it turns into laughter pretty fast.

“I’m sorry, baby, are you okay?” he asks laughing and your heart skips a beat at how he called you baby again and Oliver is not even around.

“I-I’m fine,” you breathe out as he peels himself off you, helping you up with him as well. He is so close to you as you finally stand on your feet again, your noses almost brush against each other as you blink up at him nervously.

It would be so easy to kiss him. You want to know what it’s like to feel his lips against yours. Maybe if you move just a little…

“Are you trying to break a bone, Y/N?” Lexi rolls up to you, totally breaking the moment as you both turn to her. Harry leaves an arm around you, hand resting on your waist and you lean against him to steady yourself on your wheels.

“It was Harry’s idea, but I knew I would terribly fail,” you chuckle slightly. Oliver appears behind Lexi, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and you clench your jaw at the gesture. Harry must have noticed the shift in you, because he tightens his hold around you, his hand soothingly running up and down your side. And just like that, Oliver is long forgotten, you can only think about how it feels to have his fingers dancing on you.

“You were never really into athletic things, Y/N,” Oliver comments and you grimace.

“Just because I didn’t play any sports in high school, doesn’t mean I can’t try things now.”

“I think you did great,” Harry smiles down at you. “You just need a little more practice and you’ll be better than me, baby.”

Baby, there’s that pet name again. It’s doing things to you for sure.

Glancing over at Oliver you catch what looks like an eye-rolling and he genuinely looks annoyed by you and Harry and it’s making your blood boil at this point. Why can he be the only one to date someone? Why can’t you have a good time with someone? Now that you are thinking about it, he did it not only with guys, but also with anyone who tried to be friends with you. Oliver wanted him to be your only friend and sneakily ruined every friendship you ever had. Sandra is your first real friend other than Oliver, only because he couldn’t do anything against you forming any kind of relationship with your roommate. But you are now getting quite fed up with his little games and Harry might not be your real boyfriend, but you are friends with him and Oliver can do nothing about that.

Soon enough you decide you’ve had enough of the skating, so you move to the side and start changing back to your shoes. Lexi runs out to the restroom and while you are putting your sneakers back on Harry spots someone he knows, working at the buffet so he steps aside for a minute, leaving you and Oliver alone.

“Are you really dating him?” you hear him speak up and you can’t help the scowl on your face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He is just so not the type of person you hang out with,” he comments with a shrug and your eyebrows shoot up.

“First of all, how would you know? My friends were always kind of more your friends, never really had the chance to find my people. And second, what’s the problem with him?”

“The problem is that we all know what he is like. Everyone on campus knows that Harry is famous for going after a lot of girls.”

“And you believe what others say? You know nothing about him. He is not what people try to make him appear to be, but you wouldn’t know, because you don’t know him like I do. And for the record, yes, I really am dating him and I’m very happy about it.”

You can tell he doesn’t like your reaction and he is probably fighting back to snap at you, but Harry soon returns, oblivious to the scene that just went down, however he can sense the shift in the atmosphere immediately.

“Everything alright?” he asks, seemingly innocently, but you know he is asking if Oliver has done something.

“Yeah. Can we leave?” you ask, not too keen on staying with Oliver any longer. It’s getting hard to imagine how you could ever put up with him and his act.

“Are you guys leaving? We could grab a bite together!” Lexi chimes in arriving back from the restroom. You are about to decline, but Harry speaks up before you.

“Oh, we have plans already, but maybe some other time,” he politely says, a hand on your lower back as he pulls you to his side and you’re thankful for his close presence now. If he weren’t there, you would have already jumped at Oliver’s throat probably.

“Oh, okay! I’m glad we got to do this though,” she smiles warmly, taking Oliver’s hand while you just chew on the inside of your cheeks, very keen on leaving as soon as possible.

Your force a smile on your face, bidding goodbye before Harry takes your hand and the two of you head out to his car.

“Hey, everything okay?” he asks when it’s finally just the two of you. Staring down at your hands on your lap, you bite into your bottom lip.

“Just… let’s leave. I had enough of Oliver for a life today,” you mumble and luckily, Harry doesn’t try to keep asking around, just starts the car and leaves.

On the way he asks if you still want to come over to the frat house and you say yes, because you feel like you could use the distraction. You’d rather spend some more time around him than go back to your dorm room and be alone with your thoughts.

Just as he promised, it’s nothing big, just a few close friends of some of the frat boys, pizza boxes are piled in the kitchen, music is playing in the background but it’s not blasting like when it’s a party. A big group is playing UNO in the living room using two deck of cards so the rounds don’t end too soon.

You and Harry get a slice of pizza, already starving after the skating and when you’re done with that, the two of you wander into the living room. There’s no more room left on the mismatched couches so Harry plops himself down to the ground and you stop for a moment, because there’s someone sitting on both of his sides, leaving not much space for you, but he is quick to solve the problem by taking your hand and pulling you down so you sit between his legs, your back pressed against his chest.

“Oh,” you breathe out from the sudden contact, but it feels nice. You cross your legs so his legs can bridge over them with his knees bent as he looks over your shoulders to see the game unfold.

“You guys want to play?” one of the girls asks.

“There’s not enough cards for the both of them to join!” another warns.

“We’ll just play together,” Harry speaks up from behind you and in the next round you join the game.

Harry rests his chin on your shoulder as his arms come around you, holding the cards so you can see them as well. It’s the closest he has been to you, basically wrapped around you and it’s definitely doing things to you. The way his chest warms your back, how you can feel every breath he draws because his face is so close next to yours, how his arms cage you gently, you are suddenly aware of even the smallest things.

“Pick one,” he murmurs when it’s your turn to throw a card in. You’ve been so occupied with him that you have no idea what color or number you should pick so you quickly check the deck in the middle before pointing at a red card. “Throw it in,” he tells you, pushing the card up with his thumb so you can take it and put it to the top.

Sitting here, on the floor of his frat house, his arms around you feels so much better than anything you’ve experienced with Oliver and the realization hits you hard in the chest. Turning your head to the side you let yourself take a good look at his perfect side profile, his chiseled jawline, the bridge of his nose and the little wrinkle between his eyebrows as he knits them together in focus, staring down at the cards in his hands. He catches you looking, his green eyes meet yours and a soft smile spreads across his face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head.

“Everything alright?” he quietly asks and you nod.

“Yeah,” you breathe out turning back, but you still feel his lingering gaze on you for a few more moments before he turns away too.

You keep playing as the night moves on, drinking some beer, making you relax even more, though Harry’s closeness does the job just perfectly. Even when you are not sitting on the ground anymore, he always keeps close to you. Curling an arm around your waist when you stand in the kitchen talking with others, he keeps giving your hands and hips assuring little squeezes and you can’t help but lean into his touch every time. You want him close, you want to feel his touch, you love it when your eyes meet and he always shoots you a small smile, it makes your heart flutter, like you’re a little school girl with a silly crush.

Because now you are more than sure that you’re crushing on Harry. How can you not? He has been so good to you, did more than Oliver has ever done and you’ve been friends for just a few weeks.

You leave him for just a few minutes while you use the bathroom and as you return, you catch some of the conversation he is having with one of the boys, Jake.

“Dude, can’t believe the ladies’ favorite Styles is taken,” Jake laughs and it makes you scowl as you stop at the corner, listening on them.

“Jake, I told you to stop calling me that,” Harry huffs.

“I’m just telling you the truth. Every girl on campus is after you.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with me being in a relationship.”

“I just thought that the womanizer Harry Styles wouldn’t settle again for a while.”

“Jake, I’m not a womanizer, stop this bullshit. Just because girls try to get together with me, doesn’t mean I want the same thing.”

You choose this moment to walk in, knowing well Harry must be losing his patience with Jake and his irrelevant accusations. Walking in you smile warmly at Harry, curling an arm around his waist as you lean into his side. His arm comes around your shoulders and he pulls you close. Jake eyes you with an unreadable expression before his gaze returns to Harry.

“Hope you know what you are doing, mate.”

“I surely do,” Harry firmly answers and it makes you smile, especially because you know what they’ve been talking about.

When Jake walks out you turn to face Harry, playfully poking his tummy as you glance up at him.

“Hey,” you smile up at him, your arms wrapping around his waist as his hands fall to your shoulders.

“Hey,” he chuckles. “Why are you so smiley?”

“I can’t smile?”

“Of course you can,” he smirks. “Want to go back a little more?” he asks nodding towards the living room where there are still quite a few people. You nod and let go of him, turning around you are just about to walk ahead but you didn’t see that a girl was coming inside and you bump right into her, the liquid from her cup spilling down your shirt.

“Shit!” you gasp jumping back, colliding a little with Harry’s chest and his hands immediately grab your waist in case you might lose your balance.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” the girl stutters, reaching for paper towels right away, but it helps nearly nothing.

“It’s fine,” you breathe out pressing your lips together.

“Come on, I’ll give you a shirt,” Harry tells you, taking your hand, walking you upstairs. The fabric of your shirt is turning cold against your skin and you really want to get rid of it.

Harry pulls out a simple black shirt for you and shows you the way to his little bathroom. Changing into his shirt you make an attempt to wash yours out, but it doesn’t do much to the sugary spill.

“Do you mind if I stay in it for the rest of the evening? I promise I’ll give it back next time we meet.”

“Sure,” Harry smiles and you catch his gaze wandering down your body, his shirt hanging loosely on your frame. “Do you still want to stay or do you want me to give you a ride back to the dorm?”

“Uh, maybe I should head home,” you nod to yourself.

“Is it okay if I take a quick shower? I feel so sweaty after the skating, just five minutes.”

“Sure, go ahead,” you nod smiling before he disappears in the bathroom.

You hear him turn the water on and walking over to his bed you lie down for a little, feeling the tiredness coming over you all at once. It’s been a long and exhausting day and listening to the soothing voice of the running water you find yourself drifting off to sleep before you could stop yourself.

When you open your eyes again the room is completely dark, but you quickly realize it’s not your dorm room; you’re still at Harry’s. Turning to the side you see him sleeping peacefully on the other side of the mattress, lying on his back. Still groggy with sleep, you realize you fell asleep while he was in the shower and he probably didn’t want to wake you so just went to bed next to you.

He looks like an angel sleeping, his green irises hidden from the world, thick lashes fanned over his cheeks, his pink lips slightly parted as his chest rises and falls peacefully. Sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes, seeing him next to you, he is all you can think about and it brings a smile to your face.

Gently, you scoot closer to him, but still don’t touch him, however the movement makes him huff in his sleep and turning to his side his arm falls across your waist, making you gasp in surprise. You freeze, thinking that he might wake up any moment but it doesn’t happen and you’re stuck in his hold, not that you mind it. You push yourself a little closer, your nose almost touching his chest as you make yourself comfortable and closing your eyes you go back to sleep without a worry in the world.

Waking up you find yourself curled up to Harry’s side, one of his army around you while the other is holding your hand on his stomach. Blinking your eyes open you look around and take a few seconds to fully wake up. Harry feels so warm against you, but you think he might not like to find you all melted against him so you try to move away but his hold tightens around you.

“Mmm, stop movin’ around,” he mumbles sleepily.

“Sorry, I just thought that… you might feel hot,” you lie in a whisper.

“I am hot,” he smirks with his eyes still closed and his comment makes you laugh.

“And so full of yourself!” you chuckle and try to pull away once again, but he locks you to his side, not letting you break the position you are in.

“I said stop movin’! I like being warm in the morning,” he murmurs, snuggling you more to his side and you bite into your bottom lip as your smile stretches wider with each passing second.

Yeah, you definitely have a crush on Harry and you can’t even act like you don’t.

“Sorry for falling asleep in your bed,” you mumble, closing your eyes as you let your head rest on his chest.

“Y’ looked cute,” he huffs with a soft smile. “S’alright. Give me five minutes and I’ll be awake to drive you back to the dorm.”

You hum a response and just enjoy it while it lasts, not wanting to let him go anytime soon. But you have to. Slowly, the two of you get ready to leave, you want to change back to your stained shirt, but Harry tells you to just keep the shirt, he has two more of the exact same one so you walk out of the frat house wearing Harry’s shirt, holding Harry’s hand and get into Harry’s car. He is everywhere and you absolutely love it.

“So we have this game next weekend and I thought you might want to come? You don’t have to if you absolutely hate football, I just thought—“

“I would love to,” you say cutting his rambling short as he smiles with his eyes staring ahead at the road.

“Cool. Bring your roommate if you want.”

“Sure,” you smile.

Football has never been your thing, but watching Harry is, so the game turns out better than you expected. Sandra tags along and luckily, she knows a little more about the game than you do, so you can ask her questions whenever you are completely lost about the happenings. Though you don’t know much about what a good player should be like, but it’s still clear to you that Harry is one of them. He scores half the points of his team and you are guessing that’s quite fascinating.

“Am I just dreaming or does he keep looking your way?” Sandra questions after you also just caught Harry’s gaze on you a moment ago.

“So what if he is?” you ask with a shy smile, eyes glued to his running frame on the field.

“Are you guys like… really together?”

“No,” you shake your head. “We are just friends,” you add, the term tasting a little bitter on your tongue.

“But you want more.” It’s not a question, Sandra can see right through you. Glancing at her you let out a huff before turning back at the game.

“It’s hard not to,” you truthfully admit, your eyes following Harry’s every movement on the field. Looking around you see that you are probably not the only one. Half of the girls on the bleachers are staring at him and you can’t even blame them. You have to be blind and stupid at the same time not to like him and apparently, you’re neither.

They win, no surprise. The whole team goes crazy as they score their last point and it puts them in the lead in the last minute. Everyone is cheering and screaming at the boys as they are celebrating their victory, along with Harry.

Jake starts running up and down the bleachers shouting that they are throwing a victory party at the frat house so now you know what you’re gonna do for the rest of the evening. As the team makes its way back towards the locker rooms Harry runs up to you, all sweaty and grinning crazily.

“Hey, you coming for the party, right?” he asks, still breathing heavily from the game.

“Sure,” you chuckle.

“Yes! You guys want a ride?” he asks in excitement glancing at Sandra beside you.

“That would be nice,” she nods happily.

“Alright, meet me at my car in fifteen,” he breathes out and before he runs away, he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek, then leaves in a rush, catching up with the other guys. Suddenly, it feels a lot hotter than before…

“Okay, there’s no way he is not into you too,” Sandra mumbles to you as the two of you head out to the parking lot.

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” she laughs, folding her arms on her chest. “That guy is like a puppy in love around you.”

“What if it’s just his normal?”

“I don’t know, is it? You’re the one who spends every possible minute with him,” she points out and she is right. This wasn’t like this before and as far as you know, he was never like this with anyone either. The only person you saw him act similarly was Naomi when they were dating, so could this be a hint for you that he feels the same way?

You’re still chewing on it when Harry emerges from the building, carrying his huge sports bag on his shoulder, his locks still wet from the shower he must have taken, his smile is still as wide as it was after the game.

“Ladies, fancy a ride?” he asks and as he walks past you he squeezes your hand gently before rounding the car and sitting behind the wheel.

By the time you arrive to the frat house the party is already on, music blasting in the living room where not so long ago you were playing UNO, sitting in Harry’s arms, booze is piling in the kitchen and more and more people are showing up.

“Hey, can you come up with me to drop my bag off and change?” Harry asks upon walking into the house and you nod. Sandra gives you a look that says ‘man up and talk to him’ before you take Harry’s hand and the two of you head upstairs.

“Be honest, did you bore yourself to death at the game?” Harry asks when you’re in the safety of his room.

“It wasn’t that bad, though I definitely need to learn more about the rules,” you chuckle admitting as you sit on the edge of his bed while he moves around, putting away his stuff. You watch him with a fluttering heart as you think about your conversation with Sandra. Even if she is right, how do you bring it up? You can’t just simply drop that you would like to turn your fake relationship into something real, you are not ballsy enough for that anyway.

“I’ll change quickly and we can head out,” he smiles, grabbing his usual skinny jeans and a white shirt from his dresser before disappearing in his bathroom.

While he is in there, you try to build your courage up to have the talk with him. Now seems like a good time, you’re alone in his room, no audience in case he rejects you painfully so no one would witness your breakdown. Chewing on the inside of your cheeks you stand up and start pacing the floor, stopping when the door opens and he walks out, smiling at you warmly as he fixes the dog tag around his neck.

“Everything alright?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“I, uhh… I wanted to talk about something,” you start shyly, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

“Okay, go for it,” he nods walking closer.

“I just, I’M not sure how to bring this up, and I hope it won’t sound weird. But I’ve been thinking about, um—I thought about this, what we’ve been doing and I realized that I—“

Your rambling speech gets interrupted when Jake bursts into the room without even a knock or warning word.

“Dude, come down! We need you on our beerpong team!” he urges Harry who gives him an annoyed look.

“Jake, don’t just fucking barge into my room without knocking!” Harry snaps at him.

“Like I haven’t seen your dick before,” Jake snorts and you feel the heat crawling up your neck at even just the thought of Harry naked.

“I don’t fucking care, knock!”

“Okay!” Jake growls rolling his eyes. “But you gotta come down now!”

Harry looks back at you, knowing well you two were in the middle of a conversation, but Jake’s arrival threw you off completely.

“Go, we can… talk later, it’s not that important,” you smile at him weakly.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his hand taking yours.

“Yeah, totally. Just go and celebrate your win,” you chuckle and with that, the moment is already gone.

You return to the party and while Harry gets sucked into an epic beerpong game, you join Sandra in the living room, who eyes you with a curious look, but you just shake your head.

“Don’t even ask,” you mumble and grabbing her drink from her hand you take a big swig from it, hoping the alcohol might help you with your anxious thoughts.

An hour later you feel the buzz, but you’re not at all drunk, just a little… braver than usually. You’ve moved to the kitchen with Sandra and a few girls, you’re sitting on the counter, nursing another drink as you listen to one of the girls rage about her asshole ex. Glancing out of the kitchen your eyes find Harry standing in the living room and for your surprise he was already watching you. You catch his smile, his focus completely on you when the guys are talking to him in his little circle, but he doesn’t seem to care. His gaze brings the heat back into your body, he can make you go nuts with just a look and you want to hate him for that, but you can’t. There’s nothing you hate about this guy.

“Stop eyefucking your man and just… fuck him for real” Sandra chuckles leaning closer to you, so only you can hear her words.

“Sandra!” you gasp, smacking her in the boob knowing well she hates it when you do that. She just cackles, returning to the discussion with the girls.

Soon enough, you see Harry moving towards your little group, creeping his way into the kitchen, stopping right beside you, leaning on one arm, his hand placed dangerously close to your thigh on the counter.

“Hi,” he smiles with his rosy cheeks, he surely has drunk some as well, but he doesn’t seem drunk either.

“Hi,” you breathe out, feeling flustered by his closeness again, a smile stretching across your face as he keeps eyeing you grinning. “What?”

“Have I told you how cute your smile is?” he asks and now you’re sure you’ve turned into a tomato.

“No,” you mumble shyly and almost gasp when his hand moves from the counter to your thighs as if it was the most natural thing, but it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well, it is cute,” he chuckles, before turning his attention at the conversation in the little circle, but his hand remains still on your thigh.

From there, the situation escalates pretty easily. All it takes him to get between your thighs is to reach for one of the drinks on the counter next to you, his hand still resting on your thigh, and as he is done with the drink, he places it to the counter, his other hand coming to your other thigh, now standing facing you between your legs. Before you could say anything, he pulls on you a little, so you press up against him, your hands instantly coming to grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself in the movement.

“Hi again,” he smirks with glistening eyes.

“You didn’t go anywhere,” you chuckle quietly, your fingers dancing up to the back of his neck, playing with his curls.

“I know, but it made you smile and that’s what I wanted,” he smirks, so proud of himself. He licks his lips and you catch his gaze wandering down to yours, instantly making you nervous as you think back at the failed conversation you had with him not so long ago. This feels like a moment that could head into a direction you are dying for, but without the talk, you’re not sure if you should take the risky step.

Good thing that Harry is not shying out of it. Pressing forward his forehead meets yours, noses muzzling together as his lips linger so close to yours. You suck on your breath, arms curling around his neck as you wait for him to move the last millimeters between the two of you, and seeing that you are not pulling back, Harry makes the final move.

His lips move perfectly against yours, so warm and welcoming, soft and intoxicating, kissing him feels like a gift from above. He is taking his time with you, tasting and savoring you and you’re definitely not complaining. You could spend the rest of your life kissing him and you’d be fine with it.

One of his hands stays on your thigh, keeping a firm grip on it while the other one moves up to cup your cheek as you angle your head to reach him perfectly. He licks into your mouth without warning and you almost let out a moan at the sensation, but you’re just too busy returning his kisses.

You have absolutely no idea how long you stay like that, kissing and touching each other, but when he pulls back, you can’t help the stupid grin on your love drunk face. Harry’s expression kind of mirrors yours as he pecks your swollen lips once more before getting back to his previous position, his hand never leaving your thigh and you hug his strong, tattooed arm, needing to touch him in any kind of way as the two of you reenter the discussion that never stopped. Sandra gives you a wide-eyed stare and you just bite into your bottom lip, turning into a giggly teenage girl all of a sudden.

For just a few minutes you are absolutely convinced the kiss was real, but that’s all you got. As you look into the living room you catch Naomi’s burning stare and it tells you right away she witnessed the whole scene and to make it even worse, Oliver was standing not too far, glaring at you firmly and they make you think.

What if Harry saw them near and kissed you just to mess with them? What if it was all just part of the act? You should have pressed more earlier and have that damned talk with him, how are you supposed to ask now if he meant it or not?!

The more you think about it, the more painful it becomes and the little evil voice in your head convinces you that he didn’t mean it. It’s not like you want to believe it, but you can’t ignore the possibility that slowly grows into reality in your clouded mind.

You lose both Harry and Sandra at one point after going to the bathroom and though you know they are somewhere around, you feel like you can’t stay any longer at the party. Before anyone could stop you, you sneak out of the house and head back to the dorm, hoping that a good night sleep would get your head straight.

Harry tries to call you, but you ignore them all, heading straight to bed when you arrive. You feel guilty for leaving without a word but there’s just too much going on in your head, you need time to process and figure out what to do.

You’re still up when Sandra arrives back but you pretend to be asleep, not feeling like dealing with her investigating questions about the kiss and why you left so suddenly. It takes over an hour for you to finally fall asleep and escape your buzzing thoughts.

Waking up you see no sign of Sandra and you remember she mentioned that her brother is visiting town so they might spend the day together. Amazing opportunity to bury yourself into your deep loneliness and try to figure out what to do.

Harry has been nonstop texting you, asking if you even made it back to the dorm safely and you just shoot him one message to let him know you’re still alive and then ignore him again. Thinking back at the kiss last night your heart flutters every time, you can still feel the touch of his lips, the way his hand cupped your cheeks, it’s driving you crazy. But then you remember seeing Naomi’s and Oliver’s face and you’re convinced Harry saw them too and you always get to the same conclusion: the kiss was just part of the act.

You barely leave the bed the whole day, lying under your covers and watching Netflix until your mind feels numb enough to stop torturing you with your thoughts. And then, there’s a knock on the door. You freeze, knowing well that whoever is on the other side, you don’t want to see them.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there, I heard you watching The Vampire Diaries,” Oliver’s voice calls out from outside and you let out a shaky breath.

Dragging yourself out of the bed you open the door and stare back at him with a blank expression.

“What do you want?” you simply question.

“I broke up with Lexi,” he answers and your eyebrows shoot up. Without asking for permission he pushes his way into the room, stopping in the middle with his hands on his hips. “Last night, I broke up with her.”

“I uhh—I’m sorry, I guess, but why? She was so sweet.”

“I miss you, Y/N,” he blurts out and your shock just raises. Did he just admit to breaking up with his girlfriend because of you?!

“What?”

“Lexi is a nice girl, but I miss you, I miss what we had.”

“And what is that supposed to be?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you fold your arms on your chest. “You miss fucking me whenever it’s convenient for you? Because I certainly don’t miss that.”

“We both know it was more than that, Y/N,” he smiles warmly, but it makes your stomach churn. Nothing about that smile is friendly or nice, he is trying to manipulate you like so many times before, but it’s not working now. He lost his power over you.

“It wasn’t. You were using me, Oliver.”

“That’s not what it was. We were having fun!”

“I wasn’t! I had feelings for you and you used them for your benefit!” you snap at him, not in the mood to play by his rules any longer. You’ll not let him bring you down again. “A friend doesn’t do that.”

“You could have spoken up against it, but I didn’t hear you complaining,” he retorts and it feels like a slap across your face. “I know you miss it too, Y/N. You don’t have to act like you are into Harry, I can see through you.”

“Oh really?” you snort, finding his words rather comedic. He knows or sees absolutely nothing and he just proved it. “Tell me then what you see!”

“I see that you’ve been trying to make me jealous and I’m gonna give it to you, it was successful.”

“Amazing, only problem is that I never wanted to make you jealous. My feelings for Harry are more real than the ones I had for you and I would really like it if you just left right now.”

Grabbing the doorknob you hold it open for him, wanting nothing more than to get rid of him for once and for all. You’ve had enough of his toxic, manipulating ass for a lifetime.

“Are you really kicking me out and just gonna choose him over me?” he huffs in disbelief and you can tell you’ve hurt his ego pretty badly.

“I’m choosing myself and doing what’s best for me. Now leave,” you demand and he finally moves. Walking past you he stops and looks down at you one more time.

“You’re a fucking waste of time,” he sneers before walking out and you need every ounce of power in you not to go after him and punch him in his arrogant face. How could you ever consider him even a friend, let along sleep with him?! He is the most disgusting and degrading asshole you’ve ever seen and you’ll work on forgetting about his whole existence for the rest of your life.

You shut the door behind him and leaning your back against it you slide down to the floor, feeling your chest tightening at the intensity of what just happened. You lost the person you loved the most just weeks ago and realized that he was never who you thought him to be.

You feel like crying for a little, but the tears never come. Instead, a soft sense of relief washes over you, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, finally setting you free. One less thing to worry about.

As you push yourself up from the floor you hear fractions of a heated conversation outside and when you recognize both voices, your heart stops beating for a moment. Opening the door you hear the conversation between Oliver and Harry now fully clear.

“Stop fucking acting like you are the center of her world, Styles. She has no fucking idea what she wants,” Oliver snaps at Harry, clearly upset about something he said earlier.

“No one thinks that but you! Stop harassing her like a fucking psycho!” Harry fights back and your lips part at how he stands up for you.

“You’re the one harassing her! Don’t think for a moment you have a chance with her, she wants me, not you! You’ll never get into her pants like I did—“

Just when you’re about to barge out of the room to end whatever parade they are having, Oliver’s groan fills the hallway and as you step out, you see him fall to the ground after Harry’s has punched him right in the face.

“What the fuck?!” you snap in shock and they both turn to look at you in the middle of their fight.

“Your fucking boyfriend punched me for no reason!” Oliver spats, pushing himself up, holding a hand to his jaw that’s already turning red.

“Stop making yourself the victim, Oliver, no one buys it!” you groan at him as you step to Harry. He seems ashamed, even scared of your reaction about the fact that he just punched Oliver, but you are not gonna blame him. He did God’s work in this case.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re still taking his side!” Oliver snaps angrily. “You know what? You two deserve each other.”

“Shut up and leave!” you shout at him before grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling him towards your room.

You hear Oliver mumbling something under his breath, but you couldn’t care less, shutting the door at him once again, this time with Harry in the room with you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I just fucking lost my temper and—“ You wave him off, taking his hand in yours softly, taking a look at his knuckles.

“It’s fine,” you smile at him. “Does it hurt?” you ask, gently running your thumb over his reddened knuckles.

“No, it’s alright,” he murmurs, standing so close to you again. His green eyes search yours as his other hand reaches under your chin to lift your head. “You have been ignoring me since last night.”

“I just… had a lot of stuff to do,” you awkwardly answer clearing your throat.

“You sure it’s not because of what happened between us?”

“What? Of course not!” you huff. “I get it, you were just trying to make it convincing because Naomi and Oliver were both watching a-and so you just—“

“What?” Harry asks tilting his head to the side.

“I mean, that’s why you did it, right? I saw them after we—uhh after we you know, kissed.”

“Okay, I didn’t see them and that’s not why I did it,” he admits with a nervous chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck. “I thought we were on the same page, but apparently not. Y/N, nothing I did recently was because of Naomi or Oliver. If I’m being honest it hasn’t been about them for a while. I really like you and I know I should have talked to you first about it, because now it was all kind of confusing, but I wasn’t faking it. I meant everything I said and did.”

You stare back at him in awe, heart pounding against your chest as his words sink in. He wasn’t acting, the kiss was real and you’ve been acting like a lunatic since last night, completely ignoring him instead of just talking to him, you are such a dumbass!

“Really?” you breathe out, barely more than just a whisper.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “And I kinda thought you feel the same way, but then I came here and ran into Oliver who told me you two just had a chat about… possibilities between you and him?”

The hurt is clear in his eyes and your hatred towards Oliver is not on maximum level. You can’t believe he tried to ruin it all one last time even after you told him you want nothing to do with him.

“That’s not what we talked about,” you shake your head. “He came here, told me he broke up with Lexi and that he misses me, but I told him that’s too bad because I don’t miss him and his stupid little games anymore.”

“Oh!”

“And he tried to convince me to choose him over you, but I already chose you, so he had no chance,” you add, a wide smile spreading across your face as you see him realize what you just said.

“What, does this mean…?” he questions with sparkling eyes as he starts inching closer to you.

“Last night, when Jake barged into your room, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. That I’m not really faking anything anymore, but we were rudely interrupted and then… you kissed me and I thought things were finally going right, but then I somehow convinced myself that it was just because you saw Naomi and Oliver around and tried to upset them.”

“Fuck them!” Harry laughs, his hands finally reaching to grab you by your waist as he pulls you against him. “I don’t care about them anymore. I just want to be with you, no faking, no acting, just… you and me.”

“That sounds… perfect,” you admit with a tired smile before he finally leans down and presses his lips against yours.

“I have a warning for you, Y/N,” he mumbles between kisses, his lips moving against yours.

“Yeah? What’s that?” you hum, melting into him.

“I will not stop kissing you. It’s my new favorite thing,” he giggles, hands pulling you even tighter to him.

“Oh, how upsetting!” you chuckle without a care in the world before the two of you fall to your bed, a mess of kisses and giggles, but not an ounce of faking.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[ggukkieland]

📕BTS Fic Reads - 2021 March pt. 1

I appreciate all these fics as they’ve provided me comfort, distraction, etc during these times. So thank you dear authors. Sending you love 💖

If you end up checking the fics in this list, please don’t forget to show appreciation by reblogging or giving positive feedback to these authors 🥰.

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist

🥕 Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted] 🥕 Completed - completed one shots | series 🥕 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst 🌷 with commentary on completed fics (if reading these help)

--- Some are new, some re-reads, while some are past reads that haven’t been reblogged yet. Mostly mature.

🥕[Ongoing Series] - Social Media AUs (SMAUs)

Catching Feelings @na-na-na-nanna​ - MYG | smau | Goblin!Yoongi, Fantasy, must kiss humans to gain human emotions | Crack, F, A, S [12/?]

Cursed @bloomsuga​ - KTH | smau with written parts | Supernatural AU, Witch!Taehyung, Cursed!Reader | Crack, F, S, slight A ! [3/?]

Just Facts @yoongiiverse​ - JJK | smau | Rich Idol!jungkook, Model Dancer!Reader, Enemies to Lovers | Crack, F [5/?]

Kinda Hot @kimnjss​ - KTH | smau with written parts  | Campus Flirt!taehyung, Bestfriend!Reader, Bestfriend AU, College AU | S, F, A [15/?]

Made of Honor @suhdays​ - KTH | smau with written parts| best friend AU, made of honor!au (like the film) | F, A [18/?]

Best Man @yoontaethings​ - KTH | smau | enemies to lovers, player taehyung? | F, A, S (written) [6/?]

🥕[Ongoing Series]

🌹 Jungkook

Almost Home [reposted/revised] @angelguk​​ - JJK | 27k+ | Single Dad AU, Nanny, slight Fake Dating | A, F [2/?]

Bands @xpeachesncream​​ - JJK | 55.9K+ | Idol AU, Stripper AU | A, F, S [14/?]

Confident @h0neypjm​​​ - JJK | 13.1k | Fuckboy AU, Virgin!Reader | S, F, A ~ [2/?]

It’s a Heartbeat @inkofyoongi​​ - JJK | 23k+ | Enemies to Lovers, College AU, their parents are dating, Jungkook is the South Korean Patrick Swayze and this will turn into a Dirty Dancing!AU nobody asked for 🤭 | A, F, S [1/?]

No Harm List @crazy4myself​​ - JJK | 93.5k+ | Mafia AU, Gang AU, Slow Burn | A, F [10/?]

Normal Kind of Love @/yoontaethings - JJK | 2.5k+ | Actor AU, Exes AU, Enemies to Lovers | A (so far) [1/?]

Open When @iluv-hobi​​ - JJK | drabble series, 2.6k | idol au, established relationship, epistolary | F ~ [2/?]

Picture Perfect @cosmoguk​​ - JJK | 5k+ | parents AU, exes AU (divorced) | A, F | [1/?]

Sleepyhead series @jkstompers​​ - JJK  | 18.2k+ | College AU, Seatmates AU, Crush AU (lol is there such a thing) | F, S

Sleepyhead - “you fall asleep during class next to the uni heart throb jeon jungkook, will you fall in love as well?” 1.8wc

Just to Study - “your seat partner asks if you’re free after class, just to study.” 7.4wc

Passing Notes - “a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date.” 9k wc

Supermodel @koogalore​​ - JJK | 10K+ | Exes AU, infidelity AU, Jungkook is a jerk, Curvy!Reader, talks of body image | S, A [3/?]

The Realm @nottodayjjk​​ - JJK | 3.5k+ | Mystery, Fantasy, OC wakes up in a dark place not knowing where she is, afterlife feels | A [3/?]

The Weeping @themfchase​​ - JJK | 6k+ | Medieval, Dystopian, War, Fantasy AU, Romance, angels/demons | A [1/?]

Wasteland @iridescentjin​ - JJK | 4.5k+ | Sci-Fi AU, Post-Apocalyptic AU, isolation | A (so far) [1/?]

Your Love’s the Only Hoax I Believe In @sparklingchim​​ - JJK | 12.7k+ | College AU, Fuckboy AU, FWB AU, Tutor AU, Unrequited Love | A, S [2/3]

🌹 Yoongi

Birthday Girl @btsarmy9593​​ - MYG | 22K+ | one night stand AU, Noona AU, Professor!Reader, Post Grad AU | F, S [5/?]

Daechwita @/jinings (temp deact) - MYG | 20k+ | servant!yoongi - king!yoongi, princess!reader, period drama, Historical AU | All that Yoongi knows is that King Park must be killed- he just didn’t plan falling in love with his daughter along the way. | A, F, eventual S [2/?]

Silent Dreams @starlightauroras-writes​​ - MYG | 5.7k+ | Best Friend AU, sleeptalking OC while dreaming dirty thoughts about her best friend | S, F [1/?]

🌹 Multi/OT7

Holy Trinity @koyalov​​ - JJK x KTH x PJM | 9k+ | FWB AU, infidelity AU (other woman), Rockstar AU, Band AU, Bestfriend!Jungkook, FWB with other maknaes (yes it’s complicated) | A, S  [1/?]

Playmates @scribblemetae​ - OT7 | 22.6k+ | Idol AU, Sex Worker AU, Strangers to Lovers | S [2/?]

Roses @heejinnien​ - OT7 | 12.7k+ | Crime AU, Mystery, Horror, OC becomes target of the unsub | A [4/?]

by Author

Foxymoxy [AO3] - (JJK)  been following this author since last year (A Sea of Indigo, Hybrid AU) and her fics are amazing. Currently subscribed to these three (out of four) fics which get updated weekly:  🌷

Meadow (Wolf, Shifter AU, Arranged Marriage)

Amended (Arranged Marriage, Fake Marriage, Police Office AU, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers)

Lowlander (Fantasy AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fighter Jungkook)

@jimlingss​ Drabbles 2021

Three Peas in a Pod || Fluff || Namjoon || Single Dad!AU 🌷

Suspended, Seduced, Surprised! || Fluff || Jungkook || E2L

Lotus Blooms in Mud || Angst || Jimin || Historical!AU

Buttering Up || Fluff || Yoongi || Chef!AU

The Office Trip to Pound Town || Smut, Fluff || Taehyung 🌷

Snow White and the Park Ranger || Fluff || Seokjin 🌷

Humdrum Amore || Fluff || Hoseok 🌷

Awaken Again || Angst, Fluff || Namjoon || Sci-Fi!AU 🌷

The Soulmate Gift || Angst, Fluff || Yoongi || Soulmate!AU

Floof’s Tail || Fluff || Jimin || Hybrid!AU 🌷

Take What Isn’t Mine || Smut, Angst || Jungkook

Crocodile Tears || Fluff || Hoseok || Pirate!AU 🌷

🥕[Completed Fics/Series]

Namjoon

Little Red @/bloomsuga - one shot | 22.5k | Werewolf AU, got lost in the woods, inspired by Little Red Riding Hood | S, F, A

Pheromones @rmnamjoons​​ - one shot | 17.5k | Spaceship Captain!Namjoon, Botanist!Reader, Sci Fi AU, Pining | S, F, A 🌷

Stuttering @moonlightchildz​​ - one shot | 11.6k | Tutor AU, Underground Rapper, College AU, Secret Identity | F, S  🌷

There’s a Fly in My Soup @sahmfanficbts​​ - drabble | 1.8k | Cafe Owner x Customer!Namjoon, Cafe AU, Strangers to Lovers, Crack  | F, A (in form of one very stressed OC) 🌷

You’ve Got a Friend in Me @wwilloww​​ - one shot | 3k | Bestfriend AU, Roommate AU, interesting idea to reduce stress levels | S 🌷

Seokjin

All I Ever Wanted @hayjeon​ - one shot | 10k | Teacher AU, Enemies to Lovers AU | F, S 🌷

Voicemail @joonary​​ - one shot | 7k | College Podcast AU, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Bestfriend AU | F (💕fluffy day reblog)  🌷

What Made Us Feel Human @joonsgalaxy​​ - drabble | 2.3k | Neighbor AU, thought neighbor’s noise is due to sex but it’s something else, Crack | F 🌷

Yoongi

Accidents @jungxk​​ - drabble 2.4k | Dad AU, Comedy | F (💕fluffy day reblog)🌷

Are You Still With Him @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 1.7k | Roommate AU, Producer AU, Friends to Lovers, secret pining, use of song lyrics in the fic | F (I really love how it made use of different song lyrics in the story) 🌷

Avec Mes Souvenirs @palpitate-hyperventilate - one shot | 3.5k | Nikita!AU, Assassin AU, Trainer Yoongi | A

Dad Yoongi + Pawful Experience by obiwrites (through reblogs of her old posts) - drabble | 2.1k | Husband AU, Dad AU, presence of Holly and one resistant Yoongi | F (ugh this is the cutest) 🌷

Earn It @sugasbabiie​​ - one shot | 5k | College AU, Professor AU, PWP,  PLOT TWIST! | S, A 🌷

Hidden Stars @jungblue - series [5/5] | 37.3k | Idol AU, Love Triangle, some reference to infidelity | A, F, S  (a reblog of old faves) 🌷

In Character @kookingtae​​ - one shot | 5.7k | Pornstar AU, “actor au where yoongi plays a burglar who breaks into your house and has his way with you.” | S 🌷

Listen Closely @avveh​​ - one shot | 12.2k | Office AU, Coworker AU, accidently received a recording of Yoongi 🌶🥵💦 | S (reblog) 🌷

Love Language @gukslut​​ - one shot | 5.3k | Established Relationship, use of the Love Language concept | A, S, F (reblog) 🌷

Overstayed Welcome @kaep-jjjang - one shot | 7k | secret crush on yoongi, yoongi to the rescue when a one night stand won’t leave, friends to lovers | S

Selfish @write-this-way-please - two shot [2/2, sort of discontinued] | 3.8k | Coffee Shop AU, kinda hated each other, then a bit of surprise by end of Part 1 | Part 2 feat Namjoon | S, A

Slip @kinglykook​​ - one shot | 5.2k | Roommate AU, Enemies (kinda), OC slipped | S (a rediscovered fic 🤩) 🌷

Tsundere @dovechim​​ - one shot | 11.2k | College AU, Resident Advisor | S, A (a reblog) 🌷

Hoseok

To The Beat of My Heart @jeonggukingdom​​​​ - one shot | 7.2k | Dancer AU, use of mirror 🥵💦| S, pwp 🌷

Written on Our Veins @army-author​​​ - two shot [2/2] | 33.2k | Soulmate AU (💕heart day reblog) 🌷

This is Not a Love Story @sincerelyourfangirl - one shot | 8.7k | breakup au, infidelity, but happy ending for OC | A 🌷

Jimin

Cordially Jimin @kpopfanfictrash​ - one shot | 6.1k | Office AU, Epistolary (through correspondence), Humor | F (💕fluffy day reblog) 🌷

Saturday Mornings @craztextae​ ​ - drabble | 2.2k | Pining AU, Strangers to Lovers(?), Plot Twist! | S 🌷

Girls Like You [Don’t] Run Around with Guys Like Me @ktheist​ - one shot | 4k | popular!reader x shy!jimin, Rich Kids AU, FWB AU, College AU, ends as CEO (PJM) and Racer (OC) | A, F

Taehyung

A Letter in Roses @artaefact​​  - one shot | 8k | Husband AU, CEO AU, appearance of Yeontan | F, implied S

A Timely Malfunction @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 2.9k | time travel, friends to lovers, prompt:  “What? No, I never said that.” | F

College FWB Drabble + PDA + Miscomm @yukheii - drabble | FWB AU, College AU | F (seriously this is super cute) 🌷

Handsy @jinned​​​ - one shot | 3.7k | Roommate AU, Bestfriend AU, Childhood Friends AU, Pining | taehyung helps her during time of need | S, F 🌷

Hold Still @/joonsgalaxy - drabble | 2.1k | CEO AU, use of flashlight 🙈 | S, pwp ( I’ll Never look at flashlights 🔦 the same way again)

Not Even Close @lovetrivia​​ - drabble | a powerful 600 wc | enemies to lovers, college au, hookups | S, pwp, A 🌷

Of Mages and Swords @masterninjacow​​ - one shot | 40k | Fantasy AU, King Arthur AU, Royalty AU, Action, Romance | A, F 🌷 #holygrailfic

Potent But Not Real @whatifyoulivelikethat​ - one shot | 5k | Assassin AU, Office Worker Taehyung | S, A

Talk Slow @writtenwhalien​​ - one shot | 6.4k | brother’s best friend, Exes AU, never have I ever game | A, S, F

The Temp @jkeuphoriadreamland​​ - one shot | 8.2k | Enemies to Lover, CEO AU, Taehyung has arranged marriage with someone else (headed for divorce) | S, F 🌷

Jungkook

gets a separate post due to too many fic reblogs 😬 (see link below for PART 2)

I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic posted: 2021 March 24 link to other reading lists  | Mar Part 2