#I just need a fucking break

[helllh0und]

y’all i am so fucking tired.

[lettherebemonsters]

I'm in a seriously pissed off mood and I want to fucking scream.

[loafofryebread]

might try and take a bit of a mental health break from tumblr for a while. I've been struggling a bit recently and I think it would do me good to get off here for a while. I don't really want to talk about it with anyone, besides maybe close friends, but I'll be ok. Feel free to tag me in posts you think I might like (but no discourse nothing horrible please). And i'll be back at some point, however long it takes for the FOMO to kick in i suppose. Love u guys <3

[pelua7]

Y el boton de "desaparecer", donde?

[addictt-with-a-pen]

was trying to drive down the interstate yesterday and something happened to my tire while I was going 75-80mph in the center lane. got my car towed back to my house after somehow managing to get off the road, and this is what it looked like.

I can’t catch a fucking break.

[direwombat]

Only things really getting me through rn are the 4 day weekend around the fourth of July and my week long vacation/writing retreat in just under a month

[a-hearts-a-heavy-burden]

I arranged a payment schedule for my storage unit but it does me absolutely no good. I do not have the money to make the next payment (by Nov 14th) and if I can't they sell my unit immediately.

I'm fucking gutted. I am so fucking upset but I can't even fucking cry it out because my sister is going to make me feel like garbage for it.

So it's just sitting in my brain and in my gut needing to be released in some emotional way but I haven't had any fucking time alone to just cry.

I don't know what to do. I'm in the negative in my bank account. I am wearing dirty clothes because I don't have money to wash them and I'm not allowed to borrow money from my sister. All of my belongings are about to be fucking sold off to some rich creep. Family photos, gifts from and for friends, family ornaments etc. All gone.

I am fucking sick of being fucking broke. I apply and apply and apply and get no fucking interviews. I get paid $380 once a month and that's it. I want to just not exist anymore. I'm so fucking sad and so fucking done with this life.

I just want to disappear 😞

[abbyslev]

i’m literally counting down the days until i get to go out of town and get so drunk

[undeadhousewife]

Every day there's something else and everyday I'm more and more convinced when that car hit me I died and I'm in hell. Like legitimately I don't know how much more I can do.

[longing-star]

Isn’t it sick how I’m so tired I kinda wish to be in an accident just so I can have a few days of guilt-free rest. I hate it here

[jedi-bird]

Went to a used bookstore (Book Off, my beloved) and bought a bunch of star wars books. Are You Scared Darth Vader has been on my list for a few years, so finding it here made me happy. And I'm never one to pass up art books. Also bought a bunch of dollar DK and Scholastic star wars kids books. And since it was near a Joann's and I had a really good coupon we made a stop there as well. Partner got some art supplies and I bought some yarn. I think I want to make a Tatooine inspired something; probably a sweater or a cardigan, even though I've yet to start my rainbow one.

[gabsisnotamazing]

ojalá tener motivación para hacer algo con mi vida, pero todo el tiempo me siento tan vacía, no sé que hacer

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Archery Nemesis.

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[theblaxkstoic]

Bro, I thought I was past the point of careless errors on my reports. I need to get back to being pristine.