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drawnaghht · 1 year

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Usagi is a given name (part 2)

I had a confusion abt a recent(ish) post in the Samurai Rabbit tags, but then after writing a reply, realized, it was about an AU they were writing and not the series itself directly. So I scrapped my reply and revised it a bit to put it here separately. (general spoilers for Samurai Rabbit: the Usagi Chronicles and minor spoilers for Usagi Yojimbo) Also posting bc I keep seeing old info circulate that keeps confusing the name thing further so lol. general reference for u fans who haven't read the UY comics or watched the SRTUC series. Even if you change things in your own fic, even if u dislike the SR show, it’s good to keep in mind what the original work might mean.

Summary:

Miyamoto Usagi is based on historical samurai Miyamoto Musashi, so Usagi is always his given name. In japan, names are written [surname][given name]. Usagi Yojimbo is Stan Sakai’s life work, inspired in the early 80s by samurai films, namely Samurai trilogy about the real life Miyamoto Musashi.

Based on how the Samurai Rabbit show treats it, Usagi is the given name of Yuichi Usagi as well - it's more familiar, what you would call any other characters in western shows - their first name. We do not know the in-world or our-world reasoning for it (yet). But safe to say that the SRTUC crew were big fans of UY or else the show would not have been made.

Although UY predates it in the US, Usagi is usually considered a given name thanks to the popularity of Sailor Moon, so it is not used as a surname. Maybe it's more of a Kira Kira name in real-world japan. Cute but harmless.

Usagi means "rabbit" so it makes sense as a fictional name because all these characters mentioned are rabbits or rabbit-themed. In the Usagi Yojimbo book, many characters have names based on what species of animal they are (Inukai (Stray Dog), Nezumi, Zato-Ino) so there are just a lot of name puns.

but you can use Yuichi when wanting to differentiate while speaking of both of the Usagi's (Stan himself switches between using Usagi/Yuichi and "My Usagi"/Miyamoto Usagi when he starts talking of both of them in the same answer in this CBCC podcast interview). Usagi is still a given name for both.

So you can use both names when talking about him as a character, but in-story people would probably address him as Usagi regardless of if they've just met him or known him for a long time.

Yes, it makes things confusing, but it’s like having two people in the same class with the same name. You don’t rename the classmates, you give them nicknames.

Since he is so friendly, he would probably let people use Usagi from the first time they meet (and we see this in the show itself too haha) but in other contexts, maybe he would let people address him as Yuichi-san, for example, but we never really see anyone refer to him in this way. And to all strangers he meets, he is just “Rabbit” - the friendly farmboy descended from samurai.

edit (14.06.23): after writing this I realised, even more likely that both Yuichi and Usagi are meant as given names and the family doesn't have a surname anymore... lets think about it more below! ^^

= Intro =

So I thought that maybe making a long reply would be rude, so I’m making a separate post about it. This post was confusing to me at first, bc I thought, “ahh, more confusion abt the names” then “but wait they’re not Father and Son…” and then realized omg, this post and poll is for OPs AU! (lolol sorry for misreading it, i’m still sick and very slow on the uptake for a lot of stuff this week ^^;)

I had a bit of trouble at first too with a new Usagi and his names. Yuichi is very commonly known as a given name in japan. After seeing the series, I even tried to rationalize that maybe his friends are using Usagi respectfully as a family name after they get to know him... but in the show itself, his aunt calls him "Usagi" so even tho Yuichi is a common first name, it is intended in the show that he is called Usagi, whatever way "Yuichi" is meant to be used.

(Usagi and his Auntie. Shot from the 1st episode. "The Big City" )

Usually an aunt who raises you, does not use your second/family names. I'm not Japanese or Japanese-American myself (I am mixed Asian-European) so I deferred to the show to give me info. This show seemed a bit better to me than other american shows based on asian cultures. So the naming kept confusing me but I guessed that maybe I just don't know enough info and it must be some pun or simpler nickname like many characters in the comic (like general Oyaneko, Lord Hebi, or Zato-Ino)

(Yuichi Usagi and Miyamoto Usagi. screenshot from the 18th episode. "The Chizu Stands Alone" )

So I tried to consider some time ago, that maybe the team who named him, just decided on it based on something else (maybe the meaning "heroic first-born (son)" (via Japanese-Names.org)) and that Stan went with it as the one overseeing everything for the show because the name stuck. It's a fairly catchy name.

I’ve also heard from other fans that they kept calling him Yuichi during production and then added Usagi for the connection to the original Usagi and vice versa, that he was always called Usagi, but then needed and secondary name to differentiate him among both the crew and in the text.

We don't really know as fans. Maybe there's a long story behind it that the crew didn't have time to include as they tried to finish the 20-episode order... but I digress. His first name is Usagi. Lets say that it's a namesake to his ancestor.

Miyamoto Usagi from Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo comics is well-known to be based on Miyamoto Musashi, a real-life samurai. The fact that his first name is Usagi, is sorta like Stan making a joke about how he's a rabbit also. It's a fun juxtaposition of serious and funny, because it's a very well-researched comic about Edo-period samurai, but everyone is animals. So that's why the comic is also titled Usagi Yojimbo, because, Rabbit Bodyguard. It's just a good title that makes sense when you start reading the first story.

Usagi Yojimbo is the TITLE of the comicbook series. The folks who made the 1987 series made a mistake naming him (and there's prob history there but I won't go into it). In the comic, Mr. Sakai uses the japanese naming convention of [FAMILY NAME] [given name]. This is consistent in the cartoon as well. Usagi itself is a common given name in manga/comics since Sailor Moon.

Yuichi Usagi in this way, sounds like two first names then. But...

Yuichi can actually be a last name too irl, it is just much less common.

There's also name-explaining sites. I can’t quite take sites like these (Forebears) at face value, but it has some vague statistics on Yuichi as a surname around the world. Again, vague for me personally, bc how do they collect this info.. but they’ve been active since 2012 and some of the info on other names is correct so maybe it’s correct here too.

And of similar names:

Lets take sites like these witha grain of salt though, since they don’t have concrete sources.

Another fan (@/vagabond-pinky) asked about this name confusion 3 months ago in march and got some interesting replies in the notes so I'll leave that here too: "we found 2 historical people with the last name Yuichi, case closed. his first name is Usagi"

= Usagi Yojimbo: Senso connection =

I already made a longer post looking into the name some time ago, trying to analyze a possible reason for why the crew named him Yuichi Usagi and not something else. I went and read Usagi Yojimbo: Senso, which, in addition to the main comic, is what the crew based the concept of the show on, in large parts. I also found after writing this bigger post that Miyamoto Yuichi is a really common name. So maybe they also didn't want to name him something that wouldn't be as memorable or show up in an internet search. But that's my speculation as a fan as is what I wrote before. There is an article in the Pachific Citizen that actually calls him Miyamoto Yuichi by accident and it does have a nice ring to it.

Maybe it’s an issue of how the name was researched. When looking up the name and any historical base like with Stan’s Usagi and Musashi, I found that many EN language wikipedia redirects/directory lists had JP names either first-name–last-name (western) or last-name–first name (japanese), without consistency across the site. Maybe the crew researched a name, but it was listed wrong. Maybe they based the name also on something historical, mimicking Stan in their admiration of his work, but ran out of time to actually reference these isnpirations in the work itself because of time restraints? I do not know yet, because we have not had any interviews from anyone in the crew about this. Usually animation productions, especially for TV series are on an incredibly tight schedule. The actual production of the show started in 2020 (Comic Con 2021 interview with Stan, crew and cast - this is where I first heard abt the show if I remember right) and the show premiered its first season on March 28th 2022. They might have even been finishing up some details on the second season between this and the 2nd season airing on September 1st. So logistically, it's possible they couldn't include more lore and explanations except what was deemed important e.g. the yokai storyline, Chizu's story arcs, Miyamoto Usagi's Ki-stone flashbacks and storyline, the alien storyline. So basically maybe they just ran out of time for us to see Yuichi's backstory, as the show tries to be a bit different in this regard. We even see Gen's backstory a bit throughout s1, but miss out on Kitsune and the younger Usagi. Going by the Comic Con interview with Stan however, Stan is really proud of the series and pre-production had already been going on for a year or so before this interview, so they must have worked out something between pre-production and post-production.

= The japanese dub =

In the japanese dub, his name is spelled ユウイチ (雄一) うさぎ - Yūichi Usagi, so by naming conventions, again things are fairly correct. Usagi is the given name to call him by, but then by the spelling both are technically given names? When you search this name in japanese, you will get children's books listed in both the site results and the image results.If I really wanted to infer meaning from this, I could say that “hey, maybe this is a common children’s nickname for an old book series or fairytale, or something!” Except I do not actually know that. That would be my assumption to make based on a surface-level detail.

Now, since I'm not japanese or japanese-american myself (and probably neither are many of the online TMNT and Usagi fans), I can only learn from others about this culture. While I am european-asian, that is kind of totally different no matter how many living relatives I might have in japan or not. I might know slightly more about some japanese culture and history than say, the average northern or eastern-european here? But I am still quite clueless about many things about the language and history itself. So whatever I try to search in japanese will have some human error in it because I am not fluent in japanese. So, if we try to expand beyond the show, unless we are actually close to these communities, we will not know about japanese culture unless we've learned about it beforehand. So we can only refer to the comicbook series and the show itself to give us more info, or more context, to look up and research. But if I find anything else, I can really only use it as a point to sort of expand my existing theories on, but not quite “hard canon” as what the show itself and the comic are.

One other thing I find of note to mention: both the original EN language cast and crew had actual Asian-American members in important roles. The art director is Vietnamese-American. Yuki Matsuzaki reprising his role as Miyamoto Usagi and Darren Barnet, who is half-japanese, playing Yuichi Usagi. Darren is fluent in japanese btw, so that's why you might hear a slight "accent" when he speaks japanese as Usagi - he is actually pronouncing the japanese words correctly. And that was so nice to hear. You have no idea how many cartoons and other media I've seen where the asian language pronunciations are completely butchered. Sometimes it is intentional from a production i.e. game localization from a chinese game to english - because english pronounciation of names has different rules from other languages, so some names and words have to follow those rules more closeuly so people know what word is being said and recognize it. But it's still grating to hear. So the fact that names and food or other terms are pronounced in a way that seems correct (again, not fluent, but it's better than I hear in non-researched productions), is very nice to hear.

Additionally, it seems from just the way the crew talks about it that they put a lot of care into making sure they don't mess things up regarding the culture and the comic. So I refuse to believe that research was not done on the show, including the names. It comes down to the quality of research, but also their time restraints, what was actually left in the show and what was deemed viable to keep, what would have added more time crunch or work on top of existing work. Again, blame netflix, not the crew, not the producers (all supportive of the show, bc who knows what netflix upstairs things about cartoons anymore.

= Conclusions =

Thinking of all this, the most likely reasons for Usagi’s names like that that they had considerations for other names and more lore behind it, but focused more on getting the show finished and done in a way that the most important plot and info got into it. So a lot of things might have been cut for time reasons, including a consideration for a different surname, because again, for time and quality reasons, this was not as important as the rest of the show.

It might be that my theory linking Senso to the creation of the show could turn out to be true - that the name Yuichi is more a title than a traditional surname.

Extrapolating on this Senso theory, since the show borrows just as heavily from Edo time aesthetics, history and ideas, it’s possible the crew also built on the idea of a samurai family losing their surname and becoming farmers over time... Something we also see in Usagi Yojimbo, with a general in hiding who has become a farmer and having a new family... it’s interesting to consider then that perhaps the whole line after the Ki-stone incident with the shogun, lose their name over time as history changes. So Usagi and his auntie perhaps don’t really have a real surname, but his parents wanted him to have an honorable family name anyway, so they think of the name Yuichi, because of it’s meaning. That’s my fanon idea over all this speculation, but hey, it’s a possibility.

Regardless, we don't know exact reasons for the naming without asking a crew member directly, and that's usually a bit rude out of an interview I suppose? Neither can we ask about the naming of the show, that's usually a long process for shows in general. I do wonder what alternative names they had for both Usagi and the show, but, I’m not really up for asking directly myself. Like the crew seem like nice people so I would not ask any of them abt this randomly. So what I’ve done instead, is to try and speculate in my earlier post about it in general, based on what Samurai Rabbit is based on (the UY: Senso book), some of the interviews and context clues within the show (Usagi’s auntie calling him by his given name, and his friends keeping the nickname Usagi once they get to know each other more, we can assume).

Because we don't know exactly, we mostly just have the show itself + those other aforementioned sources to go on, and there might be more possible reasons than I could speculate in the future. So we'll probably never find out.

In your own fanfic, theories etc, u can do whatever, but it’s just good to know abt some stuff abt these series as a reference point, even if u change things. If you love TMNT as a series/concept, maybe you can learn to respect UY/SRTUC as series too. I know it’s just silly fandom stuff most times, but it’s good to be mindful about this if it’s your interest or something you like even a bit.

So to summarize:

Miyamoto Usagi is based on historical samurai Miyamoto Musashi, so Usagi is always his given name.

Based on how the show treats it, you can use Usagi for Yuichi Usagi - it's more familiar, what you would call any other characters in western shows - their first name.

his aunt who RAISED HIM, calls him Usagi. Even if it’s only at the request of him (like say, it’s a namesake he got and not his birth name), that’s still the name his family calls him

If his pursuers/new friends really were calling him Usagi (family name) out of respect at first, then they would have to do the same to each other too. Maybe even switch to given names later. But they all call each other by given names right away. This seems to be a generational difference (Nochi and Fuwa, adults but also enemies/adversaries to the main cast, are adressed via family name throughout)

Although UY predates it in the US, Usagi is usually a given name in Japan thanks to the popularity of Sailor Moon, so it is not used as a surname. Maybe it's a Kira Kira name just like we have it in real-world japan.

Usagi means "rabbit" so it makes sense as a fictional character name because all these characters mentioned are rabbits or rabbit-themed. In the Usagi Yojimbo book, many characters have names based on what species of animal they are (Inukai (Stray Dog), Lord Hebi, Nezumi, Zato-Ino) so there are just a lot of name puns.

it’s possible it would have been confusing to switch the names around during the production of the show - losing the connection with his ancestor, his namesake + the idea of every character meeting him and then mistaking him for Miyamoto Usagi, but also, the idea of everyone just calling him “Rabbit” in comical anger.

While the show follows the same conventions as the comic re: [surname][given name], it also wants it's viewers to feel more familiar with the characters, so same as Stan's original work. Similar to the comic, the show is written with a western/US audience in mind. In an old interview from 2010, Stan says it better himself: "Usagi might be about Japanese history and culture, but it's told from a distinctly western perspective".

So you can use both names when talking about him as a character, but in-story people would probably adress him as Usagi regardless of if they've just met him or known him for a long time.

Whatever the reasons, Usagi is meant as a given name for both.

Since he is so friendly, he would probably let people use Usagi from the first time they meet (and we see this in the show itself too haha) but in other contexts, maybe he would let people address him as Yuichi-san, for example, but we never really see anyone refer to him in this way, he is just “Rabbit” - the friendly farmboy descended from samurai.

#yuichi usagi #senso spoilers #uy senso #lol i usually try and not reply unless it seems like the post is open for replies #bad at reading tone as i am #samurai rabbit #srtuc #the usagi name debacle #lol that was my tag for this #anyway good luck with the designs and story OP #aghhtreplies #aghht srtuc post #samurai rabbit the usagi chronicles #spoilers #aghhtpost #that first image is a spoiler sorry #for what it's worth I use both depending on context but Usagi when other characters are more familiar with him #his aunt would not call him by a family name in any case #miyamoto usagi #auntie usagi #UY lore #cuz all the name and comic sources are also lore and this is smth i'd like to know #maybe it really is 2 first names as I made a point abt in my prev post #would be kinda sad if the family doesn't have a name anymore but it would also make sense considering the show's own lore #this post has so much sunnk-cost fallacy lol but come and read it anyway if u confused like i was #texty #sobbing i have had this in my drafts since may and june 2023!!!!!#long post #sorry lol i write long even when short

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dhampiravidi · 1 year

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hot take: I relate to Carmy Berzatto in S2 of The Bear

putting this under a read more bc of the topic (mentioned in tags):

so The Bear wasn't my favorite in S1, but S2 is very well-written, especially when it comes to its portrayal of mental illness(es). I want to start by saying that ofc not everyone experiences the same mental illness the same way. But I really relate to Carmy, so much that it hurts. I realized that I related to him when it's the focus group scene--he says something akin to, "I try to act like there won't be another shoe to drop, but there always is." Then, there's the whole X-Mas episode. And finally, the day the restaurant opens.

I have generalized anxiety, clinical depression & mild C-PTSD. Here's how I viewed the aforementioned scenes:

Focus Group: let me start by saying I've never been to group therapy (& I don't think I will; I just prefer 1-on-1). Still, I talk to myself a lot, which allows me to confront most of my inner feelings/thoughts. Anyway, it was a sad thing to realize that, over the years, I, too, have stopped believing that I have time to enjoy good moments...because there's always some new shit, some new problem to deal with.

X-Mas: if I had to be in a real-life situation similar to that episode, I'd definitely have an anxiety issue (I say "issue" to differentiate from a panic/anxiety attack). I'm a perfectionist who cares about pleasing people, even if I dislike said people. So to see Carmy in such a stressful place where nowhere is quiet enough to relax...that was hard. I desperately wanted the mom to get some mental help while someone else ordered in. I wanted Bob Odenkirk/Uncle Lee to shut up because to me, Jon Bernthal/Michael seemed to be both depressed and developing anger issues. I wanted to tell Abby Elliot/Natalie that she doesn't need to worry about her mom. & then the whole time I'm hoping that Carmy doesn't have some kind of a breakdown or anxiety issue, because then everyone will fuss over him to the point of starting a fight.

Opening Day: I knew the moment Claire was introduced that she was going to be the third point in a Claire-Carmy-Syd love triangle, one where Carmy ultimately has to choose between taking time off to cultivate his own happiness (something he doesn't do) & making sure that the restaurant is a success. I was glad that, overall, the opening night was awesome. But 1) I was scared for Carmy because apparently you can die within a couple of hours in a walk-in if you aren't careful, and 2) they had Claire be the one to hear his self-destructive rant. I'm not mad at him for ranting. He's a mentally ill/depressed person who works in an unforgiving industry. Despite the customers' happiness, he didn't have a great night. His brother, who was also in the food business, is dead (which I think adds onto Carmy's desire to be successful). Keep all that in mind. Carmy gave Claire the wrong number because he (in my opinion) didn't think he could juggle his commitment to the restaurant with a romantic commitment...& he doesn't think he deserves to be loved/happy (which he admitted in the fridge). If he doesn't end up with Syd by the end of S2, I think the writers will let him be with Claire because nothing he said was actually blaming her for anything. Depressed people love blaming ourselves.

Anyway, kudos to the writers of the show & to Jeremy Allen White.

#tw: mental illness #mental illness tw #tw: mental health #mental health tw #admin #the bear season 2 #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #hot take

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erstwhilesparrow · 2 years

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A few years ago, I tried getting into friends at the Table, but got very confused and never finished. However, I noticed you have a tag for it, so i am assuming you listen, and i was wondering,,,,, while I don't have the spoons for another ttrpg podcast atm, I would *love* to hear your thoughts on it/what it's actually about in general, and so I figured I'd ask :3

you have no idea how excited this ask made me; i have indeed listened to friends at the table!! i like it so much!!

okay before i do my spiel, you have to listen to this. I Am Forcing You To. this is not really going to clarify what friends at the table is about, but it will give you a sense of how much Like That they are.

all right, everything else under the cut.

the flippant and easy answer is that fatt is about "critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interactions between good friends"! that's their tagline, and it's true, but it's also the answer anyone will give you if you ask about the podcast. the other answer is that, across (approximately) seven seasons of varying tones and genres, fatt has with surprising consistency managed to be about love stories without resolutions, communities coming together in apocalyptic times, and Extremely Cool Anime Bullshit.

i absolutely understand trying to get into it and getting lost -- it definitely took me multiple tries for it to click, and none of the helpful guides people offered actually worked for me? (a joke that was going around on tumblr a little bit ago: fatt fans will give suggestions on where to start listening the way new yorkers give directions.) the hosts of the podcast are A Pretty Specific Kind Of People! they are not trying to be marketable here! so it's. hard to sell and hard to explain. i don't know how to say, in an advertise-y way, "i had to trick myself into listening to more than two episodes by putting the podcast on in the background as white noise while i was playing minecraft." and also, "i got through like five multi-hour episodes before i started realizing that not only was i beginning to be able to differentiate voices, but that i might be invested in these characters." and also, "no actual-play in existence is doing it like friends at the table is. you will experience the sickest storytelling and worldbuilding of your life listening to this podcast. but you will first have to get used to every five minute fight or interaction taking twenty minutes because these people are long-winded and very thorough." i'm bad at elevator pitches!

but. but. i started with their fourth season, Twilight Mirage, and to this day i still call it the bearer of my heart. when i say i think it changed my life, i mean i really genuinely think the person i would have been not having listened to it would have been worse off, at least for that stretch of months where i was listening to it. the hosts are so careful and so thoughtful about their worldbuilding, and so interesting about it that after a certain point, i started going, "oh fuck, we're spending hours doing exclusively worldbuilding to set up for the upcoming story? hell yeah!" something that still pierces me to this day when i think about it gets mentioned almost off-handedly: the people from this sci-fi futuristic version of earth are named with possessives -- real canon examples include Morning's Observation, Declan's Corrective, Mother's Story -- because (in the hosts' words) it matters to them that they belong to something. what the FUCK! and it's like this all the time?? they just do this shit?? for free?? THERE'S A CHARACTER NAMED FOURTEEN FIFTEEN. there's not a lot of quotes i can give you out of context that convey what it's like to experience the whole thing, because they throw all these pieces onto the board and go through all of them and it's this huge chaotic jumble and then suddenly one thing connects to another to another to another and it resolves into the most gorgeous mosaic you've ever seen.

twilight mirage is their biggest and messiest season, they try to do a lot of different things with it, but i think the thing that most Got To Me is that it's a story about a utopia in decline? and it really is a utopia. the hosts are explicit about that, that they thought about what a utopia could actually look like, about what infrastructure it would need to work, about how there's no secret caveat or buried rot. this is something i said to a friend of mine shortly after listening: "they said, hey, what does a queer sci-fi utopia look like for us? and answered the question completely seriously. it takes a kind of thoughtfulness and fortitude that i think few possess to answer a question like that without flinching." it's like it flipped enough switches in me to make me go, "wait, you can DO that?" like. this was... the winter joining 2021 and 2022? i was having a bad time with [trying to imagine a future for myself that didn't make me miserable], and twilight mirage didn't, yknow, fix that, but it did suggest visions of the future that i could actually see myself in, and tell stories about things and in ways it had never even occurred to me you could do!

and they. keep doing that. every season. they've been doing that since 2012. there are space fish. there are ships shaped like bouquets of flowers. there is (and i quote) "a big-titty catgirl shrine maiden."

i know i've talked pretty abstractly here about the things i felt listening to this, and i haven't even brought up other seasons i've listened to, but i'm telling you. there's So Much. there is no way for me to meaningfully condense it for a question this general. friends at the table is so expansive and thoughtful and so so fucking good, and i will never have enough words to describe it to my own satisfaction.

(as a treat for after reading all that: another fun answer to "what's fatt's deal?" here.)

#chattering sparrow #thank you so much for giving me the chance to talk about this #i. love this podcast.#i could even keep going about specific seasons #but i am getting sleepy and so will refrain

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cosmics-beings · 1 year

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personal vent - kinda. you know, while i will always love megastar i don't really like a lot of the shippers. not because of the reason you think, but it's just because of a lot of insecurities within the shippers circles, mainly, the way they don't like how people perceive the character or ship differently from them. and how they vague about and bash other people - even other megastar shippers for thinking differently.

also disclaimer before i go on NO it's not all megastar shippers. a lot of y'all are awesome and thank u for supporting my work...going on

i love megastar and i also like portraying it a way where starscream isn't abused and both he and megatron are healthy and good to EACH OTHER. and they are both happy. and in general, if you have been following me for some time, you know that i always talk about how starscream deserves better in tfp and idw. everytime i've made one of those posts and they've gotten traction, the only people to vague about those opinions and bash me are megastar shippers - shippers i haven't even interacted with.

i don't bash how others view megastar or how other ship it- and i think every shipper should be allowed to ship it how they want. but i am not an idiot, and realize that the only time someone vagues about my 'starscream deserves better posts' or tries to put words in my mouth and accuse me of trying to woobify starscream or excuse him, it's always a megastar shipper. and that is just....trashy.

one megastar shipper wanting a different potrayal than you isn't hurting you. it's not some big morality vs anti mortality thing - some people just ship things differenty. and that's okay, at least i thought. my main point is that, the most pushback i've gotten for my pro-starscream posts, have almost always (no have always) been megastar shippers. i don't really care how other megastar shippers ship the ship, but it does matter to me when i see people that i haven't even spoken to, vaguing about my posts in the tags where they know i can see it, simply because they don't like it or i don't percieve the characters the way they do. and this leads me to believe that a lot of them don't actually like starscream because why do y'all get so mad at people saying he desrves better

regardless it's just while i like megastar and ship it , and most of my content is megastar centric, i don't really like the shippers because from what i've seen.

and shaming people for writing or wanting happier portrayals of the two -- especially in earth spark. it's like you don't want other people to ship the ship.

#personal

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brainrotmeta · 3 years

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lol

@occamshipper decided to flood me with responses instead of responding back. So I'll reply here. Mostly I want to talk about the way he argues as opposed to debunking him in general. He's basically a walking, talking fallacy.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta Congratulations. Your entire post was a display of complete lack of reading comprehension and an inevitable test of how many of your followers are equally illiterate that you couldn't differentiate my talk about CBS-WB coproduction of Winchesters from Jared getting his own spinoff. And the rest is you just making whiny emotional appeals so. Go off, I guess? Wave that Stupid Flag with pride!

In my last post with him, I actually addressed a lot of the claims he made. Mostly I focused on his claim that Jared got a prequel deal because he threw a tantrum at CBS. There's no proof of this at all. Instead of dealing the lack of poof, he decided to say I'm stupid and move on.

That's not how you make an argument or even have reasonable discussion.

It's also what people often end up resorting to when they know they've 'lost'. Aaron/Occamshipper does this to me a lot. When they don't have anything against my points, he calls me dumb. When he does have a point against mine, he's generally more reasonable and can refrain from calling me an idiot.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta like jesus christ it takes a special kind of dumb to try (and generally fail) to break that paragraph apart to nitpick and argue it (badly), realize I was talking about SPN, then come to the conclusion I was talking about JARED getting his spinoff, and then expect me to argue with [checks notes] your inability to read or follow the discussion? Yeah, no, Independence has nothing to do with that. Re-read the first paragraph, but slowly, before arguing w/it.

And he does. Aaron just makes up a reality that doesn't exist. He was talking about Jared. I'd say this is a form of gaslighting, but it's so incompetent and divorced from reality, that I sometimes wonder.

occamshipper @brainrotmeta You literally put the brainrot in your username, I can't explain what a perfect dunning-kreuger specimen you are, that you always enter a debate so woefully underequipped you can't even deduce which property I'm talking about about the shared production rights? And go off into looney tunes land connecting "Jared's tantrum got him his own spinoff"? What in the genuine fuck is your data processing disorder.

It's interesting here that Aaron can't even point to where I'm woefully underequipped. He doesn't point to any of my allegedly poor reasoning. It's also really funny he's denying that he implied the loon tunes logic of "Jared's tantrum got him his own spin-off," when that's exactly what he implied here:

And after all, Jared's tantrum whined its way into CBS getting breakout rights (without IP rights, just Jared Rights) to The Winchesters production, so if Jared Wants More Than Just Walker, they can... profit off that in SPN anyway??? while running Zorro??

(x)

Which, to be fair, might not be what he's implying. Who the hell exactly knows. It's incoherent.

occamshipper I AM DECEASED BRAINROT CAN'T TOLERATE THAT I WON'T SHARE HER INABILITY TO READ TO MY BLOG OPENLY AND CAN'T STAND BEING TAGGED POINTING OUT THAT HER ENTIRE ARGUMENT IS BASED ON FUNDAMENTALLY MISREADING EVERYTHING *BEFORE* ARGUING WITH SHIT SHE MISUNDERSTOOD, HELP

I can't tolerate that Aaron won't share my inability to read his blog openly? What does that mean. I can't stand being tagged in ways pointing out my argument is based on a fundamental misreading? Where?

occamshipper @brainrotmeta EXCELLENT WORK

Thank you. :) (/joking btw)

occamshipper What a genuinely dishonest coward it takes to try to block or remove those.

I posted on my main as opposed to my side blog, deleted it on my main blog after reblogging on brainrotmeta. I'm not sure how that accounts for blocking or removing? But this might just be on tumblr, which is a hot mess.

occamshipper RIIIIP lmaooo brainrot is actively hiding if I reply directly under her blog pointing out she literally made a whole assed post based on her inability to read. Like she misread it. Misunderstood it. Then argued with her own misunderstanding.

I did no such thing. I will say I had you blocked on main but I unblocked you for now. I think blocking on main can affect sideblogs, but it hasn't been consistent with me tbh.

occamshipper 10/10, can't do that when I reply under my own blog, @brainrotmeta

I'm just posting this to show I'm posting all of Aaron's responses.

occamshipper The living embodiment of dunning-kreuger, folks. I'm not going to subject you to spamming your dashboards with her arguing with her own inability to read, but I deeply invite you to look at @brainrotmeta's reblog, then laugh, and laugh, because of how bad she misread/misunderstood literally everything.

I think it's funny that he's accusing me of hiding from him, but is deciding not to reblog my points against him. If I'm so easy to argue against, why not do so? If I'm unworthy of your attention, why spam me with these responses?

occamshipper I'm just gonna. Chucklebomb the fuck out of these notes, thank you again for bringing comedy into my life, @brainrotmeta, with you once again illustrating you can't even track what property is being referenced in a given paragraph while trying to argue who said what about what spinoff oh my fuck holy shit.

It's also interesting he's deflecting from my major point. We've been having a back and forth on twitter about how the issues he's talking about aren't about Jared or a J2 competition with each other and then turns around not much later and makes a post about how much of manbaby Jared is and declares to the world that Jensen is way ahead of Jared in prequel development. That is attacking Jared and the premise of your Jensen is way ahead of Jared hot takes is based on competition.

They might have made more responses since I posted this, idk.

#occamshipper

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jankwritten · 2 years

Text

i just saw somebody do this and it made me want to do it as well. For me, these headcanons are largely subject to the AU that I'm writing or the version of canon that I'm working with (PJO versus HoO versus ToA etc. etc.) so some of these may contradict!!!! and that's okay baby we love them anyway. the idea is from @/s3okj (I'm not entirely sure if they're okay with being tagged). Also this got really long so I'm putting the actual HC under the cut SORRY

(some of) my lgbt pjo/hoo headcanons

Percy: bisexual almost always, though he also fluctuates between being aromantic/asexual or some blend therein. I also tend to hc that he forms really close, non-romantic bonds with people that are often misconstrued as romantic (Grover, Piper, Nico, etc. etc.) but that he is polyam which makes it fun when he's trying to explain who is his boyfriend/girlfriend versus his nonromantic partner.

He uses he/him pronouns more often than not, but sometimes he winds up with he/they pronouns (or even he/they/she pronouns) in AUs where he leaves camp for some time to himself and meets some mortals. I think that if asked, he would describe himself as genderqueer/genderfluid. I do usually headcanon him as AMAB.

Annabeth: I almost always hc her as biromantic asexual. That is in part because I hc the Athena cabin in general to have a predilection for asexuality ngl. I HC that she doesn't necessarily identify as polyam, but that she is okay with being in a polya relationship, she just only tends to keep maybe one or two romantic partners herself in that case.

This one is actually very new in that I've not used it in any writing yet, but now I hc that she is a trans girl and uses she/her pronouns.

Grover: TBH I don't write him as much as I should, considering. I would say he's...biromantic but heterosexual? I think? That's kind of where I'm leaning, I think that he labels himself that way but that he's only really ever had a crush on one boy, and then he met Juniper and it was game over for him.

Again, I've never really written him, so I haven't had time to develop any "non-canon" HC for his gender. In my head he's a cis male who uses he/him pronouns.

Thalia: I love hc Thalia as aroace but with a tendency to form QPRs with people because of her feelings of being abandoned by her mom. I think that she cares really really deeply for people, but that she's never really experienced what people always describe as "love".

Thalia in my mind is very "just call me whatever you want to call me", but she DOES like when people pull out the non-she pronouns. I hc her as a cis female.

Nico: My boy! Nico to me is homosexual but biromantic. sometimes he's biromantic asexual (can you see a trend with these so far hm it's almost like I ~project~) but more often than not he's allo. I think he just loves so much sometimes that he doesn't really know what to do with himself (he's polyam in my HC as well which I think he'd be scared of), not to mention the fact that he wasn't really raised in a way that let him explore identities etc. I think that he doesn't realize he's biromantic because he didn't realise that the way he experiences romantic attraction could be different from the way he experiences sexuality (I also HC that either Will or Percy is the one who taught him the language to differentiate). OH AND HE'S ALMOST ALWAYS DEMISEXUAL!!! I nearly forgot about that one.

He is the one who flip flops most consistently between being trans and cis, it really genuinely just comes down to the story I'm telling at the time. He goes by he/him no matter what, he finds they/them pronouns uncomfortable (for himself) but is more than happy to help his friends experiment with pronouns.

Will: now THIS BOY. is truly the most unpredictable he could be really just any thing in any given story (except straight, normally he's not straight). I think that he really enjoys the blanket term "queer" and feels very comfortable with that as his label. He's almost never aro/ace, but he'd be comfortable in a relationship with an ace person. I do hc him as polyam sometimes.

He is almost always a trans man in my writing, even if it's not explicitly or implicitly stated. He uses he/they pronouns, though the "they" days are pretty rare and he will tell people if that's his preferred pronoun that day. He also has an ATROCIOUS sense of fashion (that's not a gender/sexuality hc I just think it's funny to dunk on him).

Piper: Another very recent addition to my average HC, but I do see her as biromantic. I think that she'd identify as asexual, but that she's like "Eh" about it, like she's fine either way, she just uses the label kind of as a way to say "I probably won't ever initiate this kind of thing". I also HC that she doesn't realize that she's ace until after her relationship with Jason. I do also think she has a preference for women, but is okay dating men too.

I get very she/they lesbian vibes from Piper. She identifies as nonbinary and LOVES playing with fashion as a means to express herself. I think that she and Percy are fucking killer at coming up with GNC outfits for one another.

Jason: oh, another one of my BOYS okay. So Jason is another one of those ones that kind of fluctuates a lot depending on the story I'm telling. I think I'd say that like Nico, he's homosexual but biromantic, but with WAY more of a penchant towards aro/ace vibes. He's almost always demisexual, and I think he struggles a lot with his attraction to women - I think that he'd feel like a horrible person for a while after he figures out that he's romantically but not sexually attracted to women, because he gets it in his head that that means he's misogynistic/inherently abusive somehow. I tend to HC that he's always known that he was attracted to men but he's always ASSUMED that he was attracted to women as well, and that's where his views of himself get challenged the most, in his relationship with Piper. I also hc him as polyam, but very selectively so - he would only be okay with dating a select few people. He wouldn't mind if his partner had other partners, though.

For a long time Jason was just a cis he/him male in my head, but recently I've been persuaded to the HC that he's trans. I think that it's another thing he's just always known about himself though, like ever since he was a little kid he's always known that he's a boy. Most of the time when I write him he's still cis, but in more of my recent stuff (and hockey AU) he's trans.

Frank: Again, I don't really write Frank as much as I should, considering. I think that he's never really put much thought to his identity, but that he wouldn't necessarily call himself straight either. He's not necessarily asexual, but he's not entirely not, either, and it's kind of the same for his romantic attraction - he's not necessarily into people, but at the same time, he does on occasion "catch feelings" for people (like Leo or Hazel). I think that he's very comfortable existing in his definitively grey-area. I think when someone asks what he is, he says, "I dunno," shrugs, and moves on.

I get cis male he/him vibes, but again, I haven't written much of his character, so that could change. I do think the idea of him identifying as agender could be interesting, like maybe sometimes when he shifts animal forms he's not a male animal and he feels the same way when he's in his human form. That could be interesting.

Leo: here's a fucking doozy. Leo is the most homophobic bisexual guy you will ever meet /hj he's like. So unaware of his attraction to men that he circles around to being weird and an asshole about it, like he's trying so hard to not see that part of himself that he shits on attraction to males in general, all while drooling over his best friend's biceps on the reg. So I DO think that he's bisexual (sometimes he's even just flat out gay) but it would take a pretty drastic thing to happen for him to realize it.

This dude made attack helicopter jokes until Jason or Nico dropped it on him that he's trans one day fr fr. Leo is such that eighth grade bully kind of vibe in my head when it comes to sexuality and gender, he's the kid who's soooo repressed and in the closet that he lashes out at any hint of the LGBT just so people will never attempt to associate it with him. I do think that once he gets his head out of his ass about it, he would identify with he/him pronouns (and privately use it/its pronouns with Festus, though I feel like that's more of him being a downer on himself and removing his own humanness on the days when he's feeling particularly Disconnected from people, ala the Tism. This is not to say that I view it/its pronouns as dehumanizing, I just think that that's how Leo would use them against himself, does that make sense?). So yeah, Leo's an asshole cis male he/him "I don't use pronouns" typa guy /j.

Hazel: I think that she's pretty solidly straight and allo in my mind, but she's also the kind of person who is VERY close to her female friends, to the point that it's sometimes misconstrued as attraction. I think that she's just a very physically affectionate, friendly kind of person and that that reads, in some situations, like she's coming on to people. I do think that's she's very well read on LGBT stuff, and that she kind of was even before Nico came out to her, like I feel as if during her time at Camp Jupiter no matter how limited it was, she discovered some myths with LGBT topics and it FASCINATED her.

She would experiment with pronouns all the time, but I think that she's, at the end of the day, a cis she/her female. I do like to think she's comfortable with any pronouns though, and will sometimes introduce herself with he/him pronouns around kids he suspects might be trans.

Reyna: Reyna is yet ANOTHER character I don't do enough with. I think that she's very firmly aro/ace but that she's constantly at war with herself over the aro part of it, because she experience very very deep platonic bonds with people, like Jason. She's convinced that that is romantic love, even though if anyone asked if she wanted to marry Jason/kiss Jason etc. etc. she'd immediately say no. I think she would eventually settle on idenifying as an asexual lesbian and then just never date anybody ever.

For some reason, I do see Reyna as trans. I think that maybe she didn't realize until on Circe's island or something (i can't remember enough of her canonical past rn to really piece together a proper headcanon) but that she is a trans female who uses she/they pronouns.

Rachel: I guess I kind of have no HC for Rachels sexuality? I'd say ace, because of the whole oracle thing, but I also believe that that was just a copout for Riordan to not have to pursue a love triangle with her anymore so fuck that at the same time. I just think that Rachel is Rachel and she's doing whatever the hell she wants to in that funky cave of hers.

I can see her being genderfluid for some reason, maybe the whole artsy side we see during the canonical books. I just like genderfluid characters alright, sue me.

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just-antithings · 3 years

Note

I'm a fan of mcyt (minecraft youtube/youtubers) and mcrp (minecraft roleplay) as well as a reader and writer of mcrp fanfic. I have been invested in and participated in the mcrp tags discourse and I know a lot about the situation. I saw some conversations in this blog and wanted to add my input. First off: the current mcyt/mcrp tagging situation sucks. I have nothing against rpf but there is plenty of minecraft roleplay that is not rpf. The same way in something like TAZ the characters and the people roleplaying them are distinct. It's very frustrating as a sorting system because there is a lack of differentiation. This has nothing to do with my morals, it impacts the functionality of the system. I want to read fanfiction about the characters, not the content creators, and ao3 doesn't differentiate that. Like I do want to read about Tommyinnit's dsmp rp character recovering from his abuse but I could care less about the irl dude lmao. I'm sure plenty of fans of Tommyinnit rpf feel the same. But it's the same character tag so I can't even sort the rpf and stuff out. Mcyt tags are also often their real names even if it is not what they commonly go by on streams/videos so a lot of the time if you don't know the irl content creator's name it can be hard to search for content about them (dsmp streamer Badboyhalo only ever is called Badboyhalo/bbh/bad in his content but his ao3 tag is his irl name (Darryl Novescovich) and since most fans don't know his name they wouldn't know where to look for first glance. I remember being really confused and having to look him up the first time I saw his tag in a fic bc I didn't realize that was bbh). Also since pretty much all minecraft to is grouped under 'video blogging rpf' if you're from a smaller minecraft rp fandom it can be hard to find works in your fandom when all the content in the video blogging rpf tag is of dsmp (the most popular minecraft rp). Also just really confusing in general. Like I like the series Last Life SMP a lot but I can't just look for fics in it's fandom tag. I have to look at the cc tags for the characters I like in a series and often see content I'm not interested in for their other series and rpf. Even in cases where the characters are distinct from the content creators it's still not marked as distinct. There are many minecraft rps for which the creators have specifically said that the characters they portray are not them and it is roleplay. In various mcrp series from the youtuber Aphmau most of the characters are played by voice actors she specifically hired for the project and yet it still doesn't have a fandom tag! Also in many cases different characters played by one cc (content creator) are just put under the cc's tag even though they're different characters. If I want to read about Ranbob (a character played by content creator Ranboo) there is no tag I can search so most of the tag will be flooded with Ranboo's dsmp character and other characters he's played and rpf. Again I have nothing against rpf (I don't want to read it but I have nothing against it) but the current situation isn't working. There need to be more fandom tags that are distinct from video blogging rpf and character tags that are distinct from content creator tags. I love ao3 a lot but that doesn't mean it is immune to valid criticism and I think it can improve here. Sorry if this is confusing. If this is confusing or you have more questions let me know and I'll message you.

-🐟

#mod erin #ask #abuse mention #posting without comment

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just-slightly-unhinged · 3 years

Text

I posted 3,230 times in 2021

10 posts created (0%)

3220 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 322.0 posts.

I added 930 tags in 2021

#genshin - 464 posts

#mood - 243 posts

#kaeya <3 - 45 posts

#i stand by this - 36 posts

#childe - 27 posts

#bo - 27 posts

#the way we're literally making a project about this lmfaoooo - 26 posts

#dsmp - 24 posts

#mxtx - 19 posts

#kokomi - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#i don’t get why karl would call him a murderer if he literally agreed to the plan and knew the consequences???

My Top Posts in 2021

Just watched the fruits basket episode, a part of me internally died when I saw the ground crumble and her fall ;-;. And yay, kiss scene, though idk if tohru’s actually going to remember it after she wakes up. Akito did a complete 180 in this ep, but it wasn’t out of place at all. Just shows how great the writing of this show is. Brb, going to cry for the next ten minutes

6 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 20:55:16 GMT

just realized that if im reading heatwaves after testing, it’s going to be in june😬can feel the feels already

8 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 20:01:59 GMT

tag masterlist

ill edit this as i remember ig

also my picrew side blog: @sleepyfanatic

FYI MOST LINKS ARENT FUNCTIONAL ATM

genshin

- kaeya

- kokomi

- childe(wip)

- kazuha(wip)

- ganyu(wip)

-chaeya(wip)

mood

<3 (interactions I have with people on site sorta thing)

i stand by this

;-;(wip)

umm ok then op

bi tings(wip)

intp(wip)

yea im calling myself out(wip)

9 notes • Posted 2021-09-26 19:45:32 GMT

ok ok here’s the thing

While I’m stoked that Ajax’s getting a rerun again(major childe simp here who lost the 50/50 twice ;-;), i’m so worried that they’re going to do something horrible to him.

SPOILERS

Literally they killed off their first character Signora, like there’s no way she’s coming back based on how they showed the scene. Not to mention it’s canon now that Delusions cause accelerated aging and suck life force energy? Like people literally died using these, and while I could argue that there’s just a difference between Ajax and these other people just because Childe’s been trained with his and might have some sort of way to stop or limit the effects(not completely tho, as we’ve seen from his story quest).

So yeah, I’m really just hoping this is Mihoyo being biased for once or putting him there since his first few banners were overshadowed by the archons causing him to lose sales.

Because if he gets killed off, fuck this game lol

But then again, Kazuha also had a bunch of death flags but he’s fine? I think all playable characters should be fine hopefully, otherwise it makes no sense lol

Welp, here’s to hoping for the best

13 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 18:07:32 GMT

ok, i was really confused by the ending of the latest story quest. While i do appreciate smug albedo, that last scene in mondstat, was that really him? or was it another subject? Three things that make me think this:

1) Why would Albedo joke about the gardener thing when that was a serious moment traveler and him were having? In the traveler’s canon thoughts itself, they were really confused because Albedo made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal anymore.

2) The star shape on his neck wasn’t there originally, but it was suddenly there? Maybe Subject 2 learned abt the one thing Traveler could use to differentiate between the real Albedo and imposter and then replicated that as well. We know that Subject 2 was highly intelligent as well so I could definitely see that as being a possibility.

3) The smugness in general. Look, I love it when characters are being smug, but it’s so out of character for Albedo. Subject 2 on the other hand, was way more cheerful and tbh matches the Albedo we saw at Mondstat.

So all i’m saying is, I really don’t think that’s Albedo, but I might be overthinking all of this ahaha. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing what happens with that storyline. Other than that, AHHHHH we got so much Albedo content, very happy rn :DD This was definitely one of my favorite events for sure.

34 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 08:34:05 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #cool!

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

Note

Peace! It's nice to meet you, fellow mbti person! I'm so glad to have stumbled upon an ISTJ who is into typology! I have a request. I typed Elsa from Frozen in a post (I'll tag you) and I argued that she is not an ISTJ. I wanted to know what you thought, particularly if I made any mistakes in understanding the ISTJ personality type. Thank you so much in advance! I hope it's not too much of a bother. I'm an INTP btw.

Hi,

I want to start out with the following: for anyone reading, do not make a habit of having me analyze your posts about fictional characters. I am happy to help you type yourself, or answer questions about MBTI. However, in case it was not clear from the fact that I have only typed fictional characters in response to direct questions, that my answers have typically been very brief, and that I’ve repeatedly directed people to blogs that specifically focus on character typing, I’m not really interested. I should note: I had fun because I love picking up my metaphorical red pen and writing “wrong” over every other sentence, but it did also take me like an hour and a half and it’s over 3 pages long, and I don’t have time to do that regularly.

With all that said, the post had sufficient issues with both basic logical argument structure (I would very strongly recommend you revisit that INTP typing of yourself and look at something with high Fe instead) as well as understanding of MBTI that, because you asked directly, I will go through said issues. I want to make it very clear: this is going to be harsh. For both that and for the length I’m putting it below a read-more such that if you were looking for a brief thumbs up or down and not for extensive criticism, you are welcome to ignore it, block me, or whatever is best for you.

Basic argument structure: you open repeatedly with the most subjective arguments - that she gives off Fi and Ni vibes and you don’t see the Si in her. This will convince no one but yourself.

This argument is also mostly focused on “other people think this, but I don’t” which I find is only useful in a process of elimination argument. We’ll get to the final typing eventually but it is generally stronger to argue in favor of what you believe and then address potential disagreement rather than the reverse; by the time you get to ISFP I’ve read so many incorrect assumptions and subjective asides that I’ve long since stopped valuing the analysis of the work.

Issues with the ISTJ argument

(note: I have, and continue to type Elsa as an ISTJ so this will be the longest section in that I’m both pointing out flaws and arguing in favor of ISTJ; the rest will be solely focused on MBTI misconceptions or logical fallacy).

While it’s true people often mistake trauma for Si, this argument seems to equate trauma with being stuck in the past (people can just be stuck in the past without trauma for whatever other reason - it’s not healthy but it does not necessarily indicate literal trauma). There is also a false opposition here: It’s absolutely valid to argue that Elsa is traumatized, but that does not preclude her having Si, merely removes one argument in favor of Si.

You define Si (gathering concrete details to understand what to expect) but don’t actually argue why Elsa doesn’t do this. I’d argue, in opposition to the statement later in this paragraph, that she does. She is aware from the past that her abilities can harm her sister. She is aware from her past that when she avoided Anna, Anna was safe. She hasn’t been happy with the “conceal don’t feel” line, but it has achieved her goals and her expectation is that she’ll hurt someone if she stops following it.

If you’re referring to an Si-Fi loop (wallowing in self-pity), it doesn’t use Te since that’s how loops work. You don’t explicitly say this is in the context of looping although you introduce looping in the second sentence, but if you are referring to a loop this is incorrect. It’s true that ISTJs are often likely to use Si (preference for familiar/existing structures) and an Fi understanding of morality to direct their energies when they wish to change something (ie, they will change things through existing channels) but the focus on speaking out about injustice here is much more in line with enneagram 1 - a very common enneatype for ISTJs and an enneatype that’s rare for any non-TJ types, but not the enneatype I’d give Elsa nor an inherent ISTJ trait itself.

The part about self-discipline is mixed - a lot of ISTJs are very disciplined in certain areas (particularly professional/familial) but can neglect the self (not getting enough exercise/not eating well, not addressing burnout or more emotional issues) and I’d argue again, Elsa shows this: she’s not addressing the fact that she’s lonely and miserable, but she’s highly disciplined with regards to concealing her abilities and avoiding Anna even though it’s the very thing making her lonely and miserable.

I don’t necessarily think Let It Go is indicative of an Ne grip, but one can make changes outside of a grip, so this isn’t a useful argument, as it argues why an Ne grip is wrong, not why ISTJ is wrong - I would merely argue she’s not gripping at that time. Which is a general issue here: the argument you provide in this paragraph isn’t arguing against ISTJ, it’s arguing against other people’s arguments for ISTJ, which is an important distinction.

The final paragraph of the ISTJ section has numerous issues: ISTJs are not rebellious. They are not as resistant to change as stereotypes indicate, but even a healthier version of ISTJ Elsa would be unlikely to rebel and rather try to understand her parents’ argument, research other options, or look for a way to gain control over her powers while still working within the normal hierarchy. I addressed self-discipline (I should add: I don’t think a child/young woman having difficulty controlling magical powers with no training is an argument against self-discipline; my argument for self-discipline is that she stays in her room and away from her sister despite clearly hating it). It is also, to be blunt, mind-boggling that you (correctly) argue that trauma responses are not inherently Si but then refer to obsessive-compulsive behaviors as Si when that’s also a medical disorder completely divorced from the MBTI framework. Finally, her continuing to follow an order from her parents after they die is first, quite literally the definition of self-discipline (she’s the queen; no one else is going to discipline her for it, after all) and second, entirely in line with Si (this is what she has always done and it’s not great but it works) and is, arguably, if not medically obsessive-compulsive, an obsessive need to follow a compulsion. To be clear: this isn’t healthy ISTJ behavior, but since you’ve acknowledged grips and loops here I think an unhealthy interpretation of the type is very much on the table. You say her behavior is more in line with F types; it’s not and you don’t explain why.

If I may it seems as though, much in line with the argument here being against other arguments but ultimately not debunking the typing, your arguments against MBTI stereotypes focus on what’s incorrect but they tend to merely swing the pendulum to the opposite side (eg, that ISTJs are likely to rebel, in opposition to the stereotype that they’d mindlessly follow orders) rather than find the more nuanced middle ground of how people of a type or with a certain function behave.

Issues with the INFJ and INFP sections:

Ne users can and frequently do go out into the world; simply because Ne can be engaged without external physical stimulation doesn’t mean it never is. I’m also not really a fan of reading being classified as a strictly introverted pursuit; that’s falling into a pretty significant stereotype trap. Going out and exploring is a thing anyone can do but if anything I’d either associate that more strongly with high sensing (either Si or Se) or with extroversion.

My biggest issue here is the implication that searching for a meaning for existence or a purpose is in itself an indicator of Ni. This is just the human condition. If you’re going to argue that Si users are driven to rebel against injustice I don’t see how you can miss that that might in turn be driven by a belief that this is their purpose. Perhaps Si-Ne users aren’t as invested in having a single purpose, but wondering why you are on this earth and what it is you are here to do is just being a person, and to be blunter than I have been, I am struggling to understand how there has been so much effort made earlier to push away from stereotypes to the point of overcompensation in the opposite direction and then when it comes to the idea that only Ni users have a desire for meaning in life you just accept it without question.

Issues with the ISFP section:

At this point I’ve probably covered most of them though I’d like to point out that I don’t think there was an argument ever made explicitly for introversion; while the structure of the earlier arguments and focus on debunking was, as stated, flawed, I would at least round it out by eliminating ESFP as an option.

The argument here rests heavily on Let it Go, which is interesting because most of the terrible arguments for Elsa being an intuitive also rested squarely on that same brief if admittedly pivotal section of a full movie; in attempting to differentiate itself from those arguments it has in fact replicated the most significant flaws. Anyway, I’ve addressed that I don’t personally think Let it Go being indicative of a grip is how I’d argue for ISTJ, so that becomes invalid; I’ve tried to focus more on issues with logic MBTI than the contents of the movie but I’d add that “she was happy” is open to interpretation and her emotional state was probably fairly complicated. Relieved, sure, but she’s still ultimately isolated. (Also while mentally singing Let it Go, I realized that here’s that rebellion you were asking for in the ISTJ section).

You also outright say that when Elsa tries to reassert control it’s through Te. Yeah. That’s what a high Te user does. An ISTJ in a grip would indeed use Ne, but in quite literally any other circumstance (looping or just existing as an ISTJ not in a grip or loop) would reassert control via Te, so again, your argument does not sufficiently eliminate that Elsa is an ISTJ, just that she’s not a gripping ISTJ, which I’d agree with.

“She acts out when she is stressed and makes bad decisions” is also the human condition (and why I’ve frequently on my blog argued very strongly against typing via stress behaviors, because in the end most people...act out and make bad decisions when stressed), so this isn’t useful as an argument for anything.

In conclusion: multiple misconceptions about Ni and Si; no argument that I could find presented for high Fi, just Fi in general; inconsistency regarding whether or not Elsa rebels, and an overall reliance not on making a new argument but on arguing why other arguments were wrong. Given the title of the post you asked me to analyze I have to (admittedly this is extremely cynical of me) wonder if there was an underlying goal to come up with a typing that was different from commonly accepted arguments, rather than to simply type for its own sake.

#mbti #character typing #istj #seireinocookies

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mrsparknamjoon · 4 years

Text

02. family matters | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.155 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: none au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: let’s go back a few years to see how tae and Y/N’s relationship started and also get a glimpse into the kim family

A/N: it was important for me to start the series with a flasback so that the reader would be familiar with the kim family dynamics and the tension with Y/N right off the bat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

10 years before

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“There has to be someone else” I said, staring at the Seoul skyline in front of me as I pondered all the possibilities with hands in my pockets. I'm taking over the family business and the only thing that scares me is making a mistake when hiring people. Well, my dad scares me, and getting a complaint call from him questioning how I managed to ruin Vante Enterprises in less than 6 months of his long-awaited retirement is not in my plans.

“Why?” asked the woman sitting on the large and comfortable couch behind me. Her thin face and dark hair complemented her porcelain skin very well and she was, at all times, the most beautiful person in any room.

“She’s inadequate” I replied, making her roll her eyes.

“Nonsense, Tae Hyung. Y/N graduated at the top of her class, in front of you much less, and did an MBA abroad” the woman said nonchalantly while taking a sip of her tea.

“I meant in regards to the company's culture” I sat down next to her, leaning sideways on the back of the couch and resting my head on my hand.

“Oh right” she set the cup down on the coffee table, “I forgot that you Kims only hire who you can control”

“Mom!”

“Honey, this is your opportunity to differentiate yourself from your father” she continued, “Having someone you know in a position like this is important in the long run”

At least in one thing my mom and I could agree on: I would, without a doubt, run the company in a new way. I had already started by choosing people who were suitable for the positions and not because I knew them or my family had some kind of connection with theirs. If, by chance, these two factors intersected, great, otherwise, the best resume wins.

“Known is not the same as reliable” I observed.

Still not satisfied with my answer, my mom got philosophical. “Trust comes with time” she started in a tone as if she wanted to pass for a spiritual being of great wisdom, but I knew she was just trying to be a good mom despite not knowing the exact details of what the family business required.

“I still have six more resumes appointed by someone I know” I leaned over to the coffee table and picked up the papers. “Two of them are former classmates too. How about that?” I waved them back and forth.

“If I remember correctly, neither of them made you stutter for the first time in an academic debate” my mom made a pose like she was thinking, crossing her arms and bringing one hand to her chin. How dramatic... and a liar. I didn't stutter.

“Yup, I think it's time for you to go” I exhaled, slapping my hands on my thighs and standing up. “Thank you very much for coming and giving your input on a subject I did not ask for” I continued in an amusing tone, but low-key serious, taking her by the hand and guiding her towards the door.

“Tae Hyung, you know that Y/N is the right choice” she moved the bag handle over her shoulder. “Be smart” and caressed my face.

“Okay” I sighed, “I love you” and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too” she smirked and left.

I went back to the couch and grabbed the resumes intending to read them one more time to be absolutely sure that I had not missed any relevant information. Very conveniently the first one was Y/N’s.

“She did it on purpose” I thought out loud when I realized my mom had deliberately put it there so I couldn't ignore it.

Very well then, I started reading Y/N’s resume with legitimate attention, trying to ignore the name and photo at the top. I needed to be objective and impartial, a lot was at stake, but to be completely honest, at first, it was difficult because she has some striking physical features, which most men would find attractive but that was not my case. And even if it was, her personality overshadowed everything else to the point of making me lose any interest. After my common sense settled in, I continued reading, paying close attention to her previous work experiences.

“Hmm, this is interesting” I mumbled to myself.

Unlike the other candidates, Y/N had interned at one of the largest financial institutions in the country during college - something I had no idea, by the way, but not that we were friends back then, of course, because why would she tell me something like that? I really had no way of knowing - and I'm looking for people with experience in acquisitions. Convenient coincidence, I like it.

Moving on, I analyzed two letters of recommendation along with her resume and I must agree that on paper she is the right person. Damn it, I hate it when my mom is right! Still, the matter of company culture is real and I think that a person like her wouldn’t do well here. She is opinionated, impulsive, and hates being told ‘no’. At the same time, she was praised for the exact opposite in the letters, and that made me curious. An interview wouldn't hurt, would it?

I got up, went over to my desk, and pressed the button that put me in direct contact with the secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Eun Ae answered promptly.

“I need to schedule some interviews next week” I said while fiddling through the resumes and selecting three, “I’ll email you the information”

“Yes, sir”

“Ah, Mrs. Gwa?” I almost forgot. It was better to hide my identity, otherwise, they’ll try sucking up to me thinking it would affect my final decision. And by 'they' I mean two of the three people because Y/N most likely wouldn't even accept the invitation if she knew that I was in charge of the company. “When contacting the candidates, I ask you not to divulge that I'll be the one conducting the interview”

“Okay” she wrote down and I could hear the sound of her keyboard. “Anything else?”

“No, that's all. Thank you”

Between today and the day of the interview, I had to prepare myself for the different reactions I might receive. My position as CEO has not yet been announced in the media and only shareholders know that a new person will take over at the end of the year. They suspect it will be my older brother, or rather, they expect it to be him but to the general dismay it will be me.

Ye Jun is a lawyer and has been involved in the family business since he started reading. However, two years ago in the middle of Christmas dinner, he had a breakdown when my uncles pressured him about some specific problem happening inside the company and he totally lost his composure (with a little help from alcohol, of course). He made a scene screaming that he didn't want that life anymore or even see any of those people again. Then he went on about how much he hated their meetings and the way everyone was fake in front of my father and in private would even criticize the color of the tie he wore. From the corner of the living room, I watched the whole thing go down without a hint of shock on my face because I always knew that moment would come. Ye Jun wasn’t born to be a leader.

The next day, he and my father were locked in the office for almost three hours. When the heavy wooden doors finally opened, dad left looking tired and announced without looking me in the eye, “Now it's up to you, Tae Hyung.” Confused by that statement, I went in and saw Ye Jun with his head between his hands, sitting in the armchair by the window.

“What the hell did you say to him?” I pointed my thumb back at the door.

“That I’m not doing it” Ye Jun replied, lifting his head and interlacing his hands. His posture seemed relaxed as if he were finally comfortable, although there was an uncertainty in his eyes that made me wonder if he was having second thoughts about the decision.

“Do what?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Ye Jun looked at me and smiled.

“Give in to the pressure, complying with expectations, sacrificing my profession, not being myself”

He paused, standing up and holding me by the shoulders.

“I also told him that the best person for the position is you” Ye Jun's voice was full of affection, “It has to be you, Tae” he patted me on the side and I looked at him stunned.

“Dad will never put me ahead of Vante, Jun” I blurted as soon as I managed to assimilate what my brother had just said.

“Didn't you hear what he said to you as soon as he left?” Ye Jun looked confused for a second “Now it's up to you. You are the next CEO” he said in a firm tone.

I suddenly got embarrassed because it felt like I had just stolen my brother's job. “It doesn't make sense, we have opposite views on how to run a business” I looked away and stared at the floor.

“True, you do, but lately he started to realize that the world is changing and that Vante could be much better off if it started to adapt” Ye Jun stated by squeezing my shoulders and bringing me back to reality. “Of course, there is still a certain traditionalism in our field, but every now and then dad finds himself negotiating with foreign companies where the mindset is what sets them apart and he feels conflicted. Do you continue as you are and please national companies or do you adapt and gain visibility abroad? He wants Vante to remain as the leader in the segment but he is stuck in his own beliefs and he knows it”

After this conversation with my brother, things changed and I started to accept more confidently the responsibility that was placed upon me. However, regardless of how I felt, the criticism would come in full force. Many powerful people will question my father's decision and I wouldn’t be surprised if boycotts took place in the first year.

It was with all these possibilities in mind that my first act as CEO was to completely renew the staff, starting with the most strategic positions and closest to me. One of them was the operations manager, who would act as my right hand, valuing Vante's financial success and setting in motion the vision, strategic plan, and goals I set.

In theory, Y/N was perfect for it, but I wouldn't make it easier just because we knew each other. She was very smart and I was sure that the moment she walked through that door and came face to face with me, her demeanor would change and we would start playing a game of chess.

******

I dedicated the entire day Wednesday for the interviews and the first two had gone very well, exactly as I had planned and prepared — what a relief! It was almost 4:30 pm, Y/N’s appointment was the last one and I was extremely curious about her reaction, I don't know why. Maybe I wanted to prove something to her, like ‘Ha, look who’s running things now’ or ‘I bet you never thought you would see me sitting here'.

Y/N was always better at everything and I couldn't stand it. I had an obligation to excel at something. She was not perfect as everyone liked to think and, frankly, to worship. But, even if it bothered me to admit, we had things in common and she was qualified.

“Yes?” I said coming out of my reverie when the phone rang.

“Ms. Y/LN is here, Mr. Kim” Eun Ae announced.

“Let her in”

I heard a light knock on the door, followed by its closing and a few clicks of high heels on the floor coming towards me. I looked up and Y/N was dressed in a black midi-length v-neck dress with a stand-up collar that made her look formal but not old. Matter of fact, if I was actually paying attention I could even say that this specific fabric was made for her body type and hugged her in all the right places, but I wasn’t.

“Hello, Y/N” I said getting up from my chair, “Long time no see!” I smiled and took off my glasses, placing them in front of me next to the tablet I had been holding moments before.

Y/N shook her head holding a laugh as she bit her lip and stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world: “You’re so predictable. I’m amused”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

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the-butler-siblings · 4 years

Text

I made a super comprehensive list of all the tags I use here!

(lol I briefly took the hyphens out of my url but then I realized I’d have to edit all my links and I don’t feel like doing that. Also I think it looks better with the hyphens) (I am not currently very active here :/ so this is only accurate for like. A six month period back in 2019 probably. I’m just rbing stuff like once a week now)

Keep in mind that most of these are newer and while I am working my way through my archive to tag them, it’s very tedious. All posts from here on out will be tagged like this though! I’m putting an asterisk* by tags that I’ve only added in the last month or so

—————————————

Categorizing Tags (what kind of a post is it?)

Fanfic and Fanfiction

Art - any post that includes visual art. Also tagged as either digital art or traditional art, and sometimes graphic design (mostly bc the art tag is so fucking long and I felt the need to break it up somehow)

Animation

Cosplay

Video

Audio

Music - playlists, original music, “this song made me think of this character”, etc.

Quizzes

Essays - basically any analytical and semi-structured writing that takes up more than 3/4 of my phone screen.

Conversating - any post with at least two people, resembling a conversation

Incorrect Quotes

(Correct) Quotes

Memes

Exchanges Zines Etc - information, announcements, interest gauging for any community-organized event or project

Liveblogging - any kind of live-blogging, by me or anyone else.

Fic Rec

AF RP - any kind of roleplay

Meta - anything that talks about the books/graphic novels/movie in the context of their worldbuilding, storyline, character development, etc.

Metafandom - y’all are so cool that you get your own tag <3

Subject Tags (who, what, where, when)

Character Tags - I use full names for everyone but Butler, and I use Artemis Fowl II to differentiate from the general fandom tag. (consequently, you can find all my original posts under Artemis Fowl). Any OCs are tagged with OC

A Fowl Bunch - when there’s like, too many characters for me to have the energy to tag them all. I’ll probably only tag the more rarely mentioned characters alongside this.

Book Tags - for when a post references a specific book, or the events of a specific book. I tag the full title, for example: book 5 is The Lost Colony, The Fowl Twins is Fowl Twins Book 1, and Artemis Fowl is Book 1

AF Movie - additionally tagged as either movie crit (wow that movie sucked) or movie pos (neutral to positive about the movie)

Eoin Colfer - pretty much any post that at least mentions him by name

Ship Tags - [commonly used ship name] or [character x character] or [character x oc] (these tags use first names)

The People - when we’re talking about The People as a whole, whether about their culture, government, magic, or anything else. I also tag The LEP for posts about it as an organization.

Tech Design - thoughts about or art portraying the more techy side of the books’ sci-fi content

Public Relations - Artemis Fowl and his friends are a very weird group, and it’s hard to believe that the general public has not noticed this by now

Orientation Headcanons - For posts explicitly indicating a character’s sexual and/or romantic orientation: I tag with [orientation] [character] and [orientation] headcanons

Trans Headcanons - posts with trans/nb headcanons. Tagged with [trans or nb] [character] and [trans or nb] headcanons

Bullying Artemis - sometimes we’re a little mean to him, and that’s ok, because sometimes he sucks <3

Bby Artemis - pre-canon Artemis

Old Artemis - he’s an ADULT now and he has BAD JOINTS

Spartemis (Space Artemis) - he’s in space now and I wasn’t sure how to tag those posts by book

AU or Canon Divergence AU - I also usually tag the more easily named aus like superhero au or role swap au along with these

Crossover (except alexmis to avoid clutter) - tagged with [title of the thing], and [name(s) of character(s)]

Not AF - I post off-topic like three times a year max, but this is just in case. Sometimes I’ll put Alex Rider posts on this blog so they don’t get lost on my main.

Tags For The Blacklist

Blood CW

Eye Strain

Long Post

Wow, that’s a lot! If you notice something missing from any of these lists feel free to let me know!

Also: because I don’t know how to effectively use links and I almost exclusively use mobile, I’m going to reblog this a few times with all these in the tags, in the same order they appear in here

UPDATE: I found out how to link tags so I’m working on that rn

#tags #my brain is a fucking excel spreadsheet and my work is never finished #blacklist is so short because those are the only ones I notice on my own #and no one’s asked me to tag anything else so far #ok here’s the reblogs you can find the tags in (just click the tags if ur on mobile) -#2: characters #3: books + movie + colfer #4: ships #5: AUs and Crossovers #6: identity headcanons

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starker-stories · 4 years

Text

The Dick Pic (v2)

On AO3 by @thestarkerisobvious and @starker-stories

When we first posted this story, it was helpfully pointed out that the beginning was confusing in relation to the rest of it. And it was. Thank you for that constructive criticism.

We went back to the original and reworked it. Hopefully it will be less confusing and the point of their argument more clear.

There was debate back and forth between deleting the original post or leaving both up. We finally decided on leaving both up.

Words: 9815

Tags: Misunderstandings, Dick Pics, College Student Peter Parker, Top Tony Stark, Bottom Peter Parker, Anal Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Awkward Conversations

Summary:

One picture.

Two different interpretations of the picture.

One restaurant.

Two people, trying to make themselves understood.

One balcony

Two bodies.

It was a beautiful morning. Peter had actually gotten a full night’s sleep. He was sleeping in his dorm room because Tony was away on business and wouldn’t be back for a few days.

He had awoken from a lovely dream. About Tony, of course. But about Tony when they had been together in Paris. In the dream Tony asked him what he wanted. And Tony gave him everything he asked for. In Paris, Tony told him to be bold. To ask for things that he wanted.

In the dream, as he had in Paris, he shamelessly asked Tony to go down on him. When he woke, his body was more than ready for Tony to do just that. But Tony wasn’t there. Peter was in his dorm room, alone.

He couldn’t have what he wanted that moment, of course. But… he could still ask. Tony liked it when he asked…

It was bold, probably too bold for him. Then again, Tony had encouraged him to be bold. So he boldly took his phone out and took a picture of the subject at hand.

Oh, that was shameless. He blushed, just looking at the picture. Quickly he typed:

Thinking of you.

He thought of several other things he could add to go along with the picture (‘Would you like to taste?’ or ‘Mostly about your mouth’) but in the end he chickened out of every one. In the end, he just hit send. That was enough bold for one day.

He spent the next hour grinning and blushing. He was proud, but he couldn’t tell anybody why. There was no one on campus close enough to announce: ‘Today I sent my very first dick pic’.

~~~~~

Tony looked at the picture Peter had sent with his message. ‘Thinking of you’. Yes, but what thoughts had Peter been thinking?

Well, he had told Peter that he could ask for anything. He wanted to hear every one of Peter’s sexual desires. He didn’t know why he expected that reversing their positions and Peter fucking him wouldn’t be one of them. Things weren’t as neatly defined in Peter’s generation. He’d been with enough younger men to know that.

And he’d broken up with enough of them when it became an issue.

He supposed that a few months was a good run, given his record. After the picture and message, he stopped taking Peter’s calls and any other messages. Whenever he regretted his decision to let Peter go, he simply opened his phone to that last picture.

He missed the kid so much that, a time or two, he considered whether he could tolerate getting fucked just to get Peter back. He’d tried that before, though. Tolerating it once led to twice led to three times led to asks and refusals and arguments and the inevitable breakup that should’ve happened at the start of it all.

Letting Peter’s calls go to voicemail unlistened to and leaving his messages completely unread was easier. The kid would move on and find someone willing to satisfy his needs.

But that was the problem. The kid would move on. The idea of that put such a dull ache deep inside him that he found his finger hovering over the green button whenever Peter called.

That would never do. This wasn’t something that could be talked about over the phone. It was definitely something that couldn’t be talked about anywhere that was near a bed. That led to disaster. And unfortunately, his feelings for Peter weren’t going away by simply ‘ghosting’ the boy. Tony texted Peter. Dinner? 8? Marea? It was his favorite restaurant. They’d been there together before. It might seem like it was going to be nothing more than a make-up date.

~~~~~

Peter’s last two weeks had been a strange kind of slow-motion nightmare. Sometimes everything was normal. He aced his classes. He wowed his study groups. He texted his friends and his friends texted back. Then he would try to set up a date with his boyfriend. He spoke to FRIDAY. FRIDAY would be cheerful as always, explaining why Tony couldn’t talk to him right then. Then he would text ‘I miss you’ and wait to hear some response. Finally giving up and going to bed. Wake up in the morning and start the entire miserable process over again.

He kept thinking about Paris. Their trip to Paris was memorable for so many reasons. Not just because Tony set out to spoil Peter rotten with fine wine, good food, and crowded sightseeing spots closed down just for them, but because of what they did in the hotel bedroom that night.

Tony had invited Peter into his bed, and had invited him there to do more than just fuck. But what Tony had invited him there to do, Peter wasn’t completely sure was possible. But it was possible. Peter had opened up to Tony that night. Told him things he hadn’t told anyone, had no plans to tell anyone.

He would never forget Tony’s words. ‘I brought you here because it’s the most romantic city in the world. Because it’s what I think of when I look at you. I think of how much I’m in love with you, and how much I want to make you happy.’

Peter was happy. He was lying on a bed in a hotel room in Paris, with Tony Stark sitting next to him, saying ‘I love you’. What else could any human being want? It wasn’t expensive gifts, the exclusive restaurants, or the limo rides everywhere. That was Tony’s life, and he was inviting Peter to be a part of it. Peter freely accepted that invitation.

‘I want you’, he told Tony when the man asked what he wanted.

‘And I want you’, Tony said back. Only then he asked, ‘But how do you want me?’

Peter remembered saying, ‘Forever’.

And Peter remembered Tony saying, ‘Only that long?’

So he told himself he was being ridiculous. He trusted Tony. As Spider-Man, he trusted Iron Man with his life. As Peter Parker, he trusted Tony Stark enough to tell him things he had never told anyone. He was in love. He just had to remember that he was in love with an incredibly busy man. Dating Tony meant sharing him with the rest of the world. “I’ll just be patient,” he told himself. “I’ll be the most patient boyfriend that ever lived.”

Sometimes he wondered why he was so utterly and thoroughly unlovable. Why would Tony want to date a kid like him? A kid with so little sexual experience, a kid who had admitted to an entire, itemized list of fears? He was unlovable. Tony was proof.

Tony had been his first serious boyfriend (serious boyfriend? Tony had been his only boyfriend.) Sometimes he convinced himself that he would just live like a monk, a monk who fought crime and worshiped a far-off, unavailable man. It wasn’t the strangest superhero backstory in the world.

Sometimes Peter was angry. He had admitted to things, admitted to things he never thought he would tell anybody. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And what had been his reward? To be ghosted by Tony Stark, apparently.

But Tony hadn't broken up with him, that much was certain. Peter checked his email, his phone messages, every social media account he had a million times. Checked them every morning. Sometimes got up and checked them in the dead of the night. Waiting. Waiting for the explanation that would never come.

Almost two weeks to the day, he received the message. His whole body sagged in relief. He hugged his phone to his chest tightly and did a little dance. Grinned from ear to ear. It was okay. They were going to Marea and everything was going to be okay.

~~~~~

Slowly, very slowly, Peter was getting the idea that everything was not okay.

They were seated to Tony’s usual table. Menus and orders taken, wine brought and served. During which Tony was near silent, making only the barest conversation that politeness required. Not only to the servers, but to Peter as well.

When the meal arrived, Peter realized he was going to have difficulty eating. His stomach was in knots. Something was obviously wrong.

“Pete,” Tony said casually, after he finished another bite. “What did you mean by that last picture you sent me?”

“Oh, I meant that I was going to not be late for our lab session because I whipped through my differential equations test in record time and I was actually ten minutes early? Except you weren't in the lab?”

Tony looked puzzled. “No. The last picture you sent. What were you trying to imply by that? Something you want?”

“I guess… I guess I was…” Peter dropped his eyes. “I guess I was bragging that I finished it faster than anyone in the class. The professor said it was faster than anyone he had ever seen and asked me to be his TA next year…

“I mean I wasn’t bragging… but I was. And you didn’t notice.”

“It sure looked like you were bragging. And wanting something other than an A on your exam.”

“In differential equations? We’re talking about Tuesday, right?” Peter took out his own phone and looked for the last pic he sent — which was from differential equations.

“I don’t know the date… I guess it was a Saturday or a Sunday. Maybe Sunday morning… yeah I think Sunday morning and you don’t have differential equations on a Saturday, so no, not that… Did you send me something about that too?”

“Something about… what?” Peter reached out and snatched Tony’s phone from where he set it on the corner of the table. He had prided himself on his patience this week, but his patience was coming to an end. He opened the message app, found his name, and scrolled to the end of the messages, then back to find the ones that had pictures attached. A cute squirrel in Central Park, a sunset behind Stark tower from the top of another building that he took just to text ‘I Miss You’. Finally, the finished test he’d mentioned twice. The one Tony hadn’t even acknowledged.

“There are things that haven’t come up before between us. And we haven’t exactly talked about the things that have come up between us. And that would be a pretty large thing to discuss. What exactly did you mean by sending me that picture?”

“Are we talking about the picture of the spider I sent?” Peter asked, scrolling again. “You never told me you were squicked out by spiders. I’m just a spider fan. You knew that. Everyone expected me to be an entomologist.” He shrugged, guiltily. “I just like math more.”

Finally, Tony grabbed his phone back. He scrolled through the messages until he found the one. He set his phone upside down on the table so no one else could see, then he slid it over to Peter.

Peter looked at it, started visibly, looked around to make sure no one saw it, then he grinned and ducked his head and blushed. Damn, he had felt so bold when he woke up with that in the morning. What was he thinking?

Oh yeah — he had been thinking…

“Well, you’re always telling me how pretty it is…”

“I’m into a lot of things, but there are some I’m not thrilled about.”

“I had a dream about you,” he said as quietly as he could and still be heard. “And I woke up thinking about you, and that was the result.”

“What kind of dream are we talking about? There wasn’t exactly a clear message with it.”

Peter looked confused. He started to speak then stopped. This was very hard to talk about in a restaurant. So he considered the possibilities. He grabbed his own phone and started texting quickly.

Was that really your first dick pic? I’m sorry I never thought. You were the first person to even walk AROUND with a phone in your pocket so I just didn’t think. I’m sorry. All you had to do was say you didn’t want that. Did you open it in a meeting or something?

It was ridiculous to sit there and text someone two feet away. Tony had no shame about talking about the issue in public.

“No, that’s not the first dick pic I’ve ever been sent. The angle and the way you were holding it… that is a first time without implying something by it.”

Peter put his phone down in frustration. He remembered exactly the kind of mood he had been in when he had taken that picture. Bold as brass. Fearless. Amazing. He didn't feel amazing right now. “I can’t really answer that question in a restaurant.

“But... remember when you took me to Paris? It was about Paris. Well it was sort of Paris... but yeah. That’s what it was about.” He tried not to sound hurt, but he was feeling hurt. How hard was it to say ‘don’t send me dick pics’? And why was Tony ignoring everything that came after that?

“Look, there are things I’m just not into,” Tony said firmly, irritated by the kid’s inability to comprehend. “If that’s what you're going to be needing out of this, you’re gonna have to find it elsewhere.”

Peter pulled his chair up to the table as far as he could and leaned in, whispering. “It implies you want to see it. Because you keep telling me you like to see it.”

His chest ached. It hurt to breathe. What Tony had said to him, and convinced him to say, in Paris meant so much to him. He’d never forgotten it. And he could never discuss it in a restaurant.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful. You’ve got a big, nicely shaped cock and I don’t mind seeing it. Like seeing it, actually. But that picture was… different from the dick pics I usually get.”

Tony flipped his phone face up, the picture clearly visible to anyone walking past their table. At that point, making Peter feel uncomfortable was almost part of it. The kid certainly made him uncomfortable the morning he got that. Especially after the way things had been going so well between them.

Peter tried desperately not to gape. It was instinct, not to let your opponent know when you were hurt in battle. But dammit, he was hurt. “‘Things I’m just not into’? Squirrels, sunsets and spiders? Or, more importantly, ‘the things you think about during the day, and your triumphs and proud moments’? Because once upon a time, Tony, you seemed to care about those things a great deal.”

But now words like ‘angle’ and ‘holding it’ and ‘different’ began to register. Suddenly, he found himself getting angry.

“Give me your damn phone.” He grabbed it off the table.

He scrolled through Tony’s phone wondering if someone else was sending Tony dick pics. In which case he was really going to lose his patience. But no, there it was. His cock. Huge and lovely and hard. Hard because he was remembering the incredible things Tony had done to him in Paris. Huge because he had, with his sudden surge of confidence, placed the phone directly beside it. What could he say? He had woken up feeling cocky.

He didn’t feel cocky now. He put the phone in his lap, shielding it from other eyes, and analyzed the angle.

“I haven’t exactly been answering my messages or downloading the photos attached to them lately, so forgive me if I’ve had an entirely different subject on my mind than squirrels and differential equations."

“Well, we haven't talked in two weeks, so I have no idea what’s been on your mind,” Peter hissed.

Patience. Patience patience patience. He could swallow all this hurt and pretend it wasn’t there, he was a master at that. He was good at it. (He had practice.) But right now he was looking at the picture of what he’d wanted Tony to praise (right before devouring it) and wondering if that was ever going to happen again.

“That,” Tony said when Peter had taken his phone off the table again. “That’s been on my mind. Hard to get anything else on my mind. What, exactly, did you mean by sending me that? Because, like I said, if you want to fuck my ass, you’re going to have to find somebody else’s ass to fuck.” He shrugged. “Which, I can work with, I guess. Not the first open relationship I've had to have because of differing sexual appetites.”

“It’s a right angle, Tony. 90°. It’s just… you used to say it was ‘so pretty’ and you… wanted it in your mouth. And I woke up dreaming of the things you said to me in Paris before you… before we… and I woke up. And I was thinking about you. That’s what I wrote. That’s what I meant by…

“…wait… what? Tony for god’s sake… Tony? Only you would try to have this conversation in a restaurant.”

“It’s not a problem. Guys grow up and have different tastes when they do. It’s not like I didn't have a fair number of experiences in that direction when I was younger.

“It’s just not my… not interested in that anymore. Haven’t been for a very long time. And I don't see myself particularly wanting to get fucked any time soon. Not even by you, sorry.”

“You have a fair number of experiences debating the angle of my penis over dinner in a restaurant!?” Peter laughed, overwhelmed by the surreality of the conversation. “You were right, Tony — your life was a lot different than mine.”

“Well actually, not your penis. but not the first one I’ve discussed over dinner in a restaurant. Usually as a prelude to heading to the bathroom with the other guy in said restaurant. But that’s not the point.”

“I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about!” Peter whispered angrily. Except he wasn’t exactly whispering anymore. This was the strangest conversation he had ever had in his life. He was beginning to lean into the strange.

“Oh my god. One minute I’m working up the nerve to admit that I still dream about what happened in Paris and the next minute we’re discussing why it’s wrong that I want to… I don’t even know what. This is insane.”

Tony just shook his head. He was being pretty clear, he thought. “We’re talking about whether or not you want to fuck me, that’s what we’re talking about. Because that’s just not something I’m into. But if it’s something you’re into, I’ve got no trouble with you finding it elsewhere. Well, actually I do, but I’m prepared to adjust my expectations.

“Wait…” Tony furrowed his brow. “Paris? What the fuck does this have to do with me sucking you off?”

“I’m sorry I sent you the wrong kind of dick pic and I have no idea why you think I was thinking of that, but I’m just about at the end of my rope. I’m in over my head here.”

“The only time I’ve ever gotten a picture like that was from someone who had very different ideas about my sexual tastes. It’s pretty much a ‘sit on this’ pic, don’t you think?”

There were tears behind Peter’s eyes. All of his talks to himself about ‘patience’ were drying up. He didn’t have it in him to explain what Paris had meant to him, at least not in a public place. Maybe in the dark, in Tony’s arms, maybe. But not while the man was spouting nonsense.

He took a deep breath. “No, Tony. It was a, you told me it was ‘gorgeous’ pic. It was a, you told me you ‘want to suck on it’ pic. For god’s sakes Tony, you told me once you wanted me to c… to leave a wet spot on your bed for you to find when you got home. I’m sorry about your past lovers but I’m not really responsible for them. I’m only responsible for myself.” His voice broke a little. He wasn't feeling very responsible right now.

Dammit, he had done everything right. He had been the proper amount of sexy and tried to hide all the shyness. He had tried to be bold when Tony wanted him to be bold. He had been patient. He had been positive. He was even attempting to have this incredibly personal conversation in a public place because Tony wanted to. He had done his best. But his best wasn’t good enough.

“Jesus Peter, how many different ways do I have to tell you this. I love you. I love what we do in bed together. There are directions I’m willing to expand into that and explore, but me getting fucked isn’t one of them. It’s not something I’m into. It wasn’t even something I was into back when I was young enough that that was all anyone wanted me to do. It’s just that’s the way it goes when you’re the age I was then. But eventually you get old enough to tell the other guy ‘no, I’d rather fuck you instead’. So, if you’re getting to that age, we’re going to have to talk in terms of how you can get what you want in that direction, because it isn’t going to be me.”

Tony had been keeping his voice calm and quiet the whole time, not even letting his exasperation come through in any way except his word choices. Peter was a smart kid, surely he understood the words that were being said.

Peter pressed his water glass against his face. He knew his skin was flushed and he felt overheated. He took the napkin from his lap and dipped it in the ice water and dabbed his forehead. It was probably a rude thing to do in this expensive restaurant, but what the hell? It couldn’t be worse than discussing the angle of the dick pic on Tony’s phone.

He took a deep breath and tried to say something that made sense. “Well, I guess I should say thank you for thinking that I’m old enough to be changing my tastes… I guess. If that’s really a thing you outgrow. But this is all coming out of left field for me.”

Taking another deep breath he thought back over what Tony had said. “And I love you too. I’m sorry people did things to you when you were young that you didn’t like. But if this is a ‘stage’ for me, a ‘stage’ I’m going to ‘grow out of’, I’d estimate you have another good ten to twenty years before that happens. I can’t see ever getting tired of it. But I guess you know better than I do… except…

“Except…” he said, looking back into Tony’s face. He could talk about science. Science was easy.

“Except it seems like you think we are both going to have the same experience, and the data doesn’t point that way. The data doesn’t point at all. You’re talking about societal expectations versus actual personal preference and there’s no reason to assume I’m going to ‘grow out’ of being… who I am.”

“It’s not a thing some people outgrow, but others do. There’s a certain expectation that the younger person bottoms, but then, as they start getting older, they find out that’s not really their thing. Or that they’d been putting up with it because they were expected to, even if they didn't like it much… or at all.

“Other guys don’t outgrow it. They’re just that way. Which is what I was hoping it would be with you. Because, if you wanted to, if it was a dealbreaker and you’d leave me over it… I guess… it’s not unendurable if it wasn’t often.”

Deep breaths and factual statements were helping incredibly. Tony’s voice was calm and that helped too. Speaking calmly and factually about these things means that things were actually okay — they could talk about more personal, painful things later. In private. Hopefully while naked.

“Well, I appreciate that your generation couldn’t exactly go to the library and do as much research as I did when I first identified as gay, so there's that…

"But, help me out, Tony. I sat down at dinner and suddenly you start talking about me ‘leaving you’ and I’ve got whiplash here. Literally the last thing I sent you was a picture of a squirrel.”

Tony raised his eyebrow. Peter was always a quick study and never this blindingly obtuse. Maybe it was the subject. He needed it explained more simply and perhaps repeatedly.

“Some guys are bent in one direction and others in the opposite. I’m pretty much bent only in one direction. I knew that the odds of you staying bent in yours weren’t great. Most guys fall in the more flexible position. I’m just saying that I’m not one of them. But if you are, as long as you didn’t have any sort of… emotional bond with whoever you hooked up with… I’d… adjust.

“This isn’t something even your generation goes to look up in the library, Because most of your generation is more flexible. It’s assumed that you both will, I don’t know, toss a coin for it, I suppose. I don't know how it works.

“The implications of what you sent kind of overrode my reaction to one of your daily messages of the sort I like getting from you.”

Peter opened his mouth but then closed it again. He looked at Tony’s face, and he stopped completely and took stock. He thought about the damn squirrel. He thought about how he aced the test that he wanted to brag about. And he thought about waking up with a raging hard-on and the need to brag about that too. And he thought about how much it hurt when Tony seemed to be ignoring him and what that meant. He took a deep breath, looked Tony in the eye, and spoke.

“I don’t want to ‘hook up’ Tony. With anybody. I don’t think you understand… it’s not that way for me. I don’t want to be with other people. I guess I should have told you that before. I don’t want to… even if there was someone else I actually wanted to… I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you. I want…”

It would have been hard for Peter to do this in the dark, in Tony's arms. But dammit, this was Tony’s world. The world where you just have these conversations in the open. So he did it. For Tony. “I want to be yours. I want to belong to you.”

Of course, he barely got the words out. It was hard to talk without air. But his mouth formed around the words, which was something.

“I want the same thing. I love you, Peter. I love what we do in bed together. But, in bed, there are things I don’t love. Even if I do love the person who’s asking for them. That is what I’m saying.”

Being told what Tony wanted was almost as good as being held, so he held onto those words. And the words ‘I love you’. He took a deep breath, relieved, and tried to listen to the rest of what Tony was saying.

“All I need for us to be together is for you to understand…” He looked down at his phone, thinking about that doomed message that was supposed to be about Paris and wound up being about something else entirely. “…this is all very important to me, Tony. I guess I shouldn’t be ashamed of it, but I am, because I’m supposed to be all casual about some things and I can’t be. I don’t want to be with anyone else. And of course… I want to be in your life. I want that more than anything else.”

“I don’t like to share. Not you. Especially not you,” Tony said, admitting an inconvenient truth. The truth that led him to making this date instead of simply continuing to ‘ghost’ Peter until he went away.

“Which is also not in keeping with the way people of your generation approach things, I know. You’re not the first guy under thirty that I’ve been with. I know things have changed a lot. What’s expected of relationships. Inflexibility and possessiveness are definitely not the mode. But they’re where I’m at and it’s hard to see me changing that. I’m possessive. I don’t want to share the person I’m in love with, that I want in my life… for the rest of it.”

“I don’t want you to share… I don’t want to be shared! And I know I’m not normal for my generation or for my anything… and I tried so hard to… gosh maybe I should have told you sooner. Maybe I need to stop trying to be ‘normal’. I don’t see why I have to change. I just want to belong to you. I don’t want… I’m not interested in ‘hook ups’ and I’m tired of pretending that I… that I get it. I don’t. I can’t see being with someone and not… well you know. Blurting out everything I feel. I can’t really stop.”

“Baby, I am in love with you. And that doesn’t come without the possessive part. It’s worse with you though. Maybe because I’ve never really… felt this with anyone else. Not like this. Not like I feel with you.”

“Wait…” Peter stopped, the pieces suddenly falling together in his head. “Did you… did you just really volunteer to bottom for me?”

Tony sighed heavily.

“If that’s what it takes to keep you in my life. Like I said, it won’t have been the first time I’ve been fucked. I just never liked it. Not even when I was your age. It was just the way things were back then. Before a certain age, you were expected to bottom. And past a certain age, you were expected to change and to want to top.

“I wanted to be with guys and if that meant turning up my ass to get the rest of what I was looking for, I did it. But then I got to a point in age where I didn’t have to put up with it.”

"Tony, for gods’ sake I don’t want you to… why would I want you to turn up your ass when…” But he couldn’t really say more. Not here. He covered his face and whispered behind his hand. “When you do so many amazing things to me?”

“I can't stand the idea of losing you.”

Peter reached out for Tony's hand. “I love you.” It was like a dream come true, and while he wasn’t sure he had dreamed about it happening in a public place, well, here it was. “I love you and you’re never going to lose me.”

He wanted to say ‘I’ve never felt this way about anyone else’, but it was a silly thing to say. He had been in love with Tony Stark his whole life. He had felt this way about Tony forever.

Tony held Peter's hand, his thumb caressing the back of it. “You got together with me while you’re still so young. Before you have had time, really, to explore things you might find out you like or prefer better. I’ve had plenty of years to experience everything on the menu and you’ve just had one taste.

“I don’t want to hold you back, even though I don't want to let you go.”

“Tony, can we… leave? Please? I don’t want to talk about this here.”

“Okay, we can leave. It’s just… if it turned out that’s what you did mean by that picture… It felt safer here, than at home, to discuss these matters.”

“Wait… what? Now I’m really confused. Why would you want to discuss it here and not…” He didn’t want to say ‘in your arms’. It still felt very immature. “…at home?”

“Why here? No particular reason as to the venue, but some things are just safer talked about in a public place until they’re sorted and both people are on the same page. Where the bed is far away and not an option for where to discuss them.”

“Tony, I want you to teach me those other things on the menu. I don’t want to be with anyone else. We’re not talking about trying on different styles of shoe here. I… can’t do that with other people, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I know I’m supposed to want to be casual with other people because of my age but I don't. And I’m trying to tell you, I don’t want to feel ashamed of that anymore. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t have to. I can be a Tony-sexual and not apologize for that. You’re not ‘holding me back’ you’re loving me and I’m loving you and there’s nothing bad about that.”

“Since I’m rather Peter-sexual, you being me-sexual is a good thing. Because I already have enough issues struggling not to take someone apart who looks at you for too long. Having someone actually touch you? When you belong to me? That's unsustainable.”

Peter couldn’t help but smile. And beam. Maybe blush a little. The idea that Tony wanted to ‘take someone apart’ just for looking?

"Okay. So we’re both very much alike in the me-sexual way. And we’re both very different about where we like to talk about private things. And we’re not going to talk about me being with someone else in bed because I hate that idea. And you’re going to stop volunteering to do something you don’t like because I really hate that idea. Is that sorted out enough? Can we go home now? I kinda need to.”

They weren’t going to just walk home hand in hand, no. Peter was going to hold Tony’s hand and use his other hand to hold into Tony’s arm too. He hoped Tony wouldn’t mind.

But Tony draped his arm over Peter’s shoulders as they walked back, holding him close, making sure that no one would possibly think that he wasn’t very much taken.

“So all this was just a case of bad lighting, poor camera angle choices, and you making yourself less than clear about the meaning of that particular picture of your, yes, very lovely, dick, hmm?” Tony asked with a sly smile.

Peter reached up and grabbed the hand draping over his shoulder. As they walked he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Tony… you’re going to have to find me an online course on ‘how to take a dick pic’ because I have no idea how that looked like anything other than a yummy snack.”

“I’ll send you a few examples, if you want,” Tony said smiling, “Because I don't want you looking at anyone else’s dick pics, not even as a course of online study.”

Peter smiled. “Deal.”

“So the way things have been with us? That’s good for you? You mentioned Paris… Those are some very good memories we made there. Apparently inspiring in your dreams, huh?” he said with a little smirk. “What parts, exactly, were so inspirational? I can’t understand unless you tell me. Explicitly. In detail.”

“Please Tony, not here…” Peter groaned and looked around them. New York City. People everywhere. But then again… wasn't talking the point? So he tried to be brave again, and spoke. He spoke almost directly into Tony's ear, but he spoke.

“You made me tell you what I wanted. You made me put it into words. And it was impossible to say those things without telling you how they made me feel. How you made me feel so safe and wanted and beautiful and so… yours. And I told you that I loved you. And I could, because suddenly I wasn’t afraid anymore.

“And I told you and I couldn’t be anything but honest and that was okay. Because that’s what you wanted. And I told you about all the things I was afraid of, and you made that okay too. And when I knew it was okay to be afraid, then I wasn’t afraid anymore.

“And also you made me come three times in one night. There was that.”

~~~~~

They were making out hot and heavy in the elevator, Peter boldly pulling Tony’s shirt free from his trousers and sneaking his hands underneath. As the doors opened they stumbled out. Peter had Tony’s face in both hands, trying to kiss him and lead him into the penthouse at the same time.

“I want it to be you, Tony. Whatever it is, whatever you want to do, I want it to be you. I want you to be the first.” He’d made himself giggle, trying to kiss Tony and talk at the same time. He only had one glass of wine at dinner, but now he felt drunk.

“That’s what I want. I just thought there was another first you wanted with me, and that’s not going to be a first we can share. Unless it…” Tony sighed. It was a difficult choice. “Yes, okay. I’d rather it be me than anyone else. The thought of anyone else touching you… In any way…” Tony said fiercely.

“Oh god, say it again, tell me I’m yours, Tony. Tell me no one gets to touch me but you…”

“I don’t want anyone touching you but me. I want you entirely to myself. I’m selfish and possessive and irrational on that subject.”

Peter laughed in relief and joy. Laughing directly into Tony’s mouth seemed rude so he leaned his head back and laughed that way. He felt giddy. “Yes, please yes. Please. I want to get ‘Property Of Tony Stark’ tattooed across my back.

“Oh god no. Please no. Do you have any idea how many people did that hoping I’d be impressed and it would become true? Nope. No. No way.”

“Ah damn, then I’ll think of something else.”

“I can think of something that will make sure everyone knows you belong to me,” Tony said with a smirk. “Not telling you yet though.”

“I want you to be my first time, Tony, all my first times. I don’t know what else to have first times for, but please think of some and then be my first.”

“Oh baby, we haven’t even touched one tenth of the first times you can have. There are entire places on that beautiful body of yours that I haven’t made love to yet. Much less places we can do it in. Positions. Locations. Methods. I can be very imaginative.”

“Oh god yes locations! Locations. I’ll let you take me anywhere on the globe, anywhere, I won’t protest, I swear.” He felt too dizzy to walk. He kept his arms around Tony’s neck as they tried to move away from the elevator. It made them move slowly, but he was afraid to let go.

“Then that just makes ‘first times’ at least several hundred locations. Sixty of them owned by me. Several rented. And then there are hotels to stay at.

“All of them, Tony. Each one. We have years.”

“We happen to find ourselves in the penthouse tonight and I’m not willing to wait til the jet can fly us somewhere else. But there are many many things we’ve yet to do right here.

“Yes,” Peter said, kissing him again. “Anything.”

“Anything I want?”

“Oh… crap…” Peter pulled his head away a little and tried to clear it. He had to be honest… Being honest had been a big deal to him since Paris. And ‘anything’ was a very big word.

“Unh unh. You already agreed. No backing out now, beautiful.” Tony kissed Peter deeply.

“Okay,” he whimpered a bit against Tony’s mouth. “…but you also said I had to tell you the truth about being afraid of bedroom things so I’m trying to do both.

“All I know is, if I’ve never done it before, I want to do it with you. I need it to be you.”

“Oh you’ve done this before. It’s not a first in that way. You did say locations, though. I was listening very closely, Pete. I always listen to you.”

“Oh… oh good.” He grinned from ear to ear. Tony listening to him was all he wanted.

“Hmm. First, location. Time for other things later.” Tony took Peter’s hand and started slowly walking him away from the elevator doors, unbuttoning Peter’s shirt, dropping it on the floor, kissing him as they walked, unbuttoning his pants while he was being kissed and walked, pushing his pants and underwear down and nearly tripping the kid when they got hung up on his shoes.

Peter was too happy to think straight. He happily helped Tony get him undressed as they walked. If they were headed to the bedroom to do it on the bed, he didn’t care. Just as long as he was skin-to-skin with his lover soon.

When Peter’s shirt came off, Tony’s quickly did too. When Peter’s pants came off, Tony was a little more deft, realizing shoes were a thing and toeing his off as he stepped out of his jeans. They were naked together, Tony wrapped his arms around Peter, anything to keep him distracted from where he was walking him to. Which wasn’t the bedroom. They were still in the living room for now.

Tony slowed their walk as they passed the console table. He opened the drawer and grabbed one of the small bottles of lube he had hidden all over the penthouse. As he wrapped his arms around Peter’s waist, he kept the bottle in one hand. He started kissing Peter again, edging their progress along the large glass wall.

“Ever get fucked 96 stories in the air before?” Tony kissed him again.

“The… the window? Oh Tony…”

“Not the window, baby. I’m gonna bend you over the balcony railing, looking straight down to the ground. Where anyone over there in One Vanderbilt will be able to see you bent over, taking my cock in your ass. Watch you getting the glass messy.”

“No no no. Tony, we’re outside!”

“Um hmm. Outside where they can see how beautiful you are. You are so beautiful Peter. Stunning. You belong to me and you’re one more thing that’s beautiful and mine that they can only look at.

“But Tony… Tony… Tony…”

“But don’t worry, baby. All they’re going to see is how lucky I am to have the most handsome young man in the city all to myself.

“But Tony…”

He held Peter close and kissed along his jaw until he was whispering in his ear. “But what, baby? You know you’re beautiful. You know your mine. You know how much I want you.”

Tony gently turned Peter around, holding him by the waist, pressed up against his back, nuzzling into the nape of his neck. “The lights from all those people out there… Not one of them has anyone as beautiful as you.” Tony kept shifting the lube bottle from hand to hand as he touched Peter, so the kid never knew it was there. Ever since Peter had noticed and remarked on it, it was a game Tony liked to play against himself. How to do the ‘magically appearing lube’ trick.

“But Tony… I… I… Tony I… ” Peter took in great gulping lungfuls of air. He had no fear of heights, never had. In fact he thought Tony’s balcony was one of the most beautiful places on earth. But he was outside, and completely naked, and that was just all kinds of wrong.

But then again, Tony was naked too. Naked, and pressed up against his back and saying the most beautiful things. Peter took another deep breath.

“Okay. I can do it,” he whispered. “If you stay close.”

“Where else would I be, Peter. I won’t let you be anywhere but close to me.” Tony’s hand wandered over his body. Up along his stomach, his chest, his neck, holding him there just a second before moving down his sides to his hip. He moved Peter’s ass back against him.

Peter gasped at the feel of Tony’s hand on his hips and moaned as he felt where Tony was moving him. He needed to make himself understood before he was beyond speech.

Reaching behind him he found the back of Tony’s head and pulled it to his own, until he had Tony’s face pressed against his face. “No, I mean stay close.”

“Baby, I’m gonna be right there kissing those pretty curls on your neck. I can’t resist them. I’ve gotta taste your skin. I’ve gotta put those beautiful marks on it. The ones I don’t even share with you. The ones that show that you’re mine.

“I love that no one else has ever touched you. No one else will ever touch you.” Tony rocked up against Peter, growing hard, frotting along the crack of his ass. His hand slid down from his waist to rest on his belly, just above his cock. He held the solid warmth of it there, then moved lower.

“I should let you have all the experiences someone your age would have. But all of those are mine too.”

“Yes, yes... yes,” he chanted, loving every word that was whispered against his ear. “Yes Tony.

“Oh… but we forgot… you forgot…” Peter stopped and blushed and looked back a little. Tony had supplies hidden all over the penthouse, making sex possible in just about every room. But there were no night tables on the balcony.

Suddenly he found himself grinning. “You’ll have to go back for the lube.”

“I will?” he asked skeptically. To be the ultimate of sneaky, he’d have to not touch Peter with either hand and Peter had asked him to stay close. He wouldn’t let go.

“Not just yet. Kiss me again… oh…”

Tony opened the bottle, giving it a squeeze, and let it run down the crack of Peter’s ass. He bent over Peter’s back a little more and set the bottle on the tile. His finger stroked through the thick lube, pushing it between Peter’s cheeks, fingertip swirling around Peter’s opening.

“Oh Tony…” Peter whispered. He couldn’t say much else. He was trying to remember to breathe. Tony had touched him like this many times, but being touched this way outside? It was somehow a completely different sensation. Still, he knew Tony liked it when he said something other than “Oh Tony.” So he tried again.

“Please keep talking to me.”

Tony was surprised that Peter could say anything, even at this early state. His voice was thin and reedy, almost carried away on the night air. He bent over the boy and kissed between his shoulder blades.

His voice was a low rumble against Peter’s back. “Do you want me to tell you how hot this beautiful place on your body makes me feel? Or perhaps how very special it is that you let me touch you here. That you let me own you here.” He paused. “Or perhaps you’d like me to tell you that there is someone on the 85th floor of One Vanderbilt watching us?”

“Stop…” Peter giggled. He didn’t really believe it, but he also didn’t care. In this moment, with Tony touching him there, no one else mattered in the world.

“Baby, you are always beautiful. But up here? Up where we fly? Where it’s just us? Beautiful doesn’t touch it.”

“Yes, it’s ours,” Peter murmured, hooking his arm behind him so he could stroke Tony’s hair. “Our sky.”

“I want to always see your skin glowing with the city lights. Like it was in Paris.” Tony pressed the head of his cock lightly where his fingers had been. Not entering. Just giving Peter exactly what they both wanted, knowing what they both liked.

“Oh Tony, what are you doing to me?” Peter murmured, eyes half-closed. He could do that, he realized. Could close his eyes and just concentrate on the sensation, on the sound of Tony’s voice, on the warm, solid presence of Tony’s body. Forget, for a moment, that they were outside. Forget that they were on display.

Tony stayed bent across Peter’s back. “I’m touching you,”

He guided the tip of his cock inside. “I’m touching you.”

He wrapped his arm around Peter’s waist and held his hand low across the boy’s belly. “I’m touching you.”

He let his cock go with his other hand, wiping it quickly on his own hip. He tangled his fingers in Peter’s hair with a slight tug. “I’m touching you.”

“Yes, please yes…” Peter moaned. He leaned back into Tony’s embrace, eyes closed, and waited. Tony would tease his opening like this for quite a while, he knew. Tony knew how much he enjoyed it.

But then again tonight was different. Two weeks ago he had done what Tony had told him to do — he had dared to request something bold. It backfired terribly, but ultimately it had paid off. Ultimately, it led them both here. To a better place. He was going to remember tonight. Tonight should be different.

Turning his head slightly, until his lips were touching Tony’s face, he kissed his lover, screwed up his courage, and whispered “Fuck me.”

Tony pressed the head of his cock in very slowly, waiting to feel that little pop as Peter closed around behind it. He held still at that point. “Is this what you want? Tell me what you want. Tell me again.”

Peter took a deep, steadying breath. It wasn’t as hard to do once Tony stopped moving. That was the beauty of this game Tony played. Knowing that Tony wouldn’t move until he was able to speak made speaking so much easier. Gave him room to breathe. He did that now.

Looking up at the sky gave him courage. Knowing that it was their playground, their territory, made him braver even though he wasn’t wearing the suit.

Keeping his eyes on it, on the sky, he knew he could do it. Firmly, he reached up and took Tony’s hand away from his head. Firmly, he took both of Tony’s hands and guided them to his hips, never taking his eyes off the sky. Firmly, he spoke.

“Fuck me,” he growled. “Don’t be gentle.”

Tony kept one hand gripping Peter’s hip. The other arm he wrapped tightly around his waist, almost completely encircling it, putting his other hand next to the first on Peter’s same hip. Holding him firm, making sure that he wouldn’t accidentally push him over the railing — not a fun way to end the evening — Tony pulled back and thrust into Peter all at once, fast, hard, not at all gentle.

“You think you can handle that, baby?” Tony asked.

“More…”

Tony reached up and grabbed Peter by the top of his hair, yanking it hard, pulling his back up against his chest so tightly he could feel the cold metal circle of the arc reactor between his shoulder blades. He fucked upwards, lifting Peter onto his toes with the force of it.

Peter let out a sharp cry of surprise. Normally he bit his mouth down hard when he heard his voice. It always sounded too loud to his own ears. But being outside, he realized very suddenly, had an advantage. Instead of biting down he opened his mouth and let it hang open. Then, whatever happened, happened.

He landed Peter onto the flat of his feet when he pulled back, then lifted him up again when he entered. Tony couldn’t get very deep in this position, but Peter’s cries were very satisfying. Not gentle, not quiet, at all. But loud. Louder than Peter ever dared in the bedroom. He knew they were carried away on the wind. Off to the skies where they both felt at home.

What Tony was doing to him was a very different sensation, and for several moments he let Tony continue. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t deep either. As soon as he was able, he caught his breath long enough to speak. “Stop… stop…” he gasped, reaching back and touching Tony’s hip.

Tony settled Peter down onto his feet again, pulling back, leaving only the head inside him. “What, baby? What do you want?”

“Back up… back up a step…” Peter managed. It wasn’t easy to talk without air, but Peter didn’t want to wait to catch his breath. He pushed Tony back a few steps until he was able to lean forward, putting himself more at a 90° angle. Then he looked back with (what he hoped was) a wicked grin. “Now do it.”

Tony kissed the grin off Peter’s lips and then figuring out what he wanted, returned that grin with a smirk. He slipped out from him and raised Peter up a few inches to where he was bent over the narrow pane of the short glass balcony wall until the boy was looking straight down at the ground, 96 floors below, bent at that 90° angle he was asking for.

“You’ve climbed the tower before, Spider-Man. Get sticky and hold yourself up.”

“Oh fuck Tony,” he gasped, but his hands found exactly what they needed instantly.

“Yes.”

“Hold on tight, Pete,” Tony said, guiding himself inside again, then giving a hard push to seat himself. When Spider-Man stayed stuck and didn’t move with the force of his thrust, he increased that force and slammed in.

Looking straight down from great heights was nothing new to Peter, nor was feeling Tony trust deep inside him. But those two things together? Peter was grateful they were outside. The noises he was making now were completely involuntary. He couldn’t have kept quiet if he wanted to.

Peter’s feet were dangling in the air, so Tony held still, buried all the way in, until the kid’s toes found purchase on the inside of the glass the same way his fingers had on the outside of it. Like that, Peter wasn’t going anywhere and Tony let himself go. Fucking hard and fast with deep long strokes.

He knew that Peter always needed a grounding touch, but the position didn’t allow for much of that. So he splayed his hand flat out on the small of his back without pressure but warmth.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it, baby. All the beautiful world down there.”

“Fuck, Tony…” was all Peter could manage. He didn’t think Tony could see his face, so he didn’t try to hide his smile. Never in his life had he imagined anyone could fuck him this way.

“And my beautiful world right here so far above the other.”

The sight surrounding them both and the hot, tight sensation of Peter’s ass surrounding him was bringing him close, fast. His stroke grew shallow, his groans joining Peter’s cries on their flight through the New York skies. He let go of Peter’s hip, trusting the boy to hold himself in place, and slid his hand down underneath Peter, wrapping his fingers around the boy’s cock.

Whimpering, Peter lowered himself back to his feet and stood on shaky legs. He kept Tony inside him without effort (it was a good thing, being graceful.) He was so hard he was dizzy, but he concentrated on what Tony wanted to do next.

Back down on earth (well the earth 96 floors above the ground) Tony’s hand sought out all of Peter’s most sensitive places. His thumb sliding just below the slit as his hand stroked the boy’s shaft. He bit his lip trying to hold back his own impending orgasm.

“Oh Tony, what are you doing to me?”

“You’re gonna make my glass messy, baby. Wanna see you dripping down it.”

Peter reached backward with both arms and pressed his hands on Tony’s back. Eyes open, looking up into the sky, he leaned his head back and let it happen. If anyone was listening at that height, they would have no doubt who was fucking the twink at the balcony. Peter shouted Tony’s name endlessly into the night.

Tony watched Peter come on the railing, the sight was almost enough to send him over on its own. The strain of the boy’s body tightening around him… that was always irresistible. But when he heard Peter cry out, scream out his name… Tony hadn’t come so hard in his life.

With both hands on the rail, Peter tried to catch his breath. His head was spinning. He was pretty sure he had just been way too loud, but then again, Tony had been loud too… in fact… had he ever heard Tony be that loud? He couldn’t help but peek, looking back over his shoulder in hopes to catch a glimpse of Tony’s face before he had time to compose himself.

Tony’s mouth was still hanging open (ah, but Tony had been making some loud noises too, Peter was going to remember that) and his eyes were wide, looking up at the sky, just as Peter had done. Peter found himself grinning from ear to ear. It was a very, very rare thing to catch Tony not focusing on him. For a moment, just a moment, he had caught it. An unguarded moment. He treasured it. He wondered if there was a way to find it again.

As Tony slipped out of him he turned around and brought their heads close, draping his hands lightly behind his lover’s head.

“Property of Tony Stark,” Peter murmured, kissing his face. “You’re going to write it across my chest every morning with a sharpie.”

“Nah. Gonna make you write it on my windows with your come. Peter Parker was here. Tony Stark made him messy. Gonna let you write it on my chest when you’re riding me. Make you write it on my sheets.”

“No one will be able to read that,” Peter giggled, leaning his head back and looking up at the sky again. Their sky. His and Tony’s.

He leaned over and kissed Peter. “No one except the cleaning staff,” he said with a shrug.

“But I want everyone to know.”

Tony cupped Peter’s face and brought him into a long, deep kiss. “Baby, when you’re really ready, everyone will know.”

“I’m ready,” Peter whispered.

Anyone could get his name tattooed on their ass. People he never met had it there. He’s signed more girls’ chests with Sharpie than he ever cared to remember. But only one person would ever have something made out of gold-titanium alloy with the words ‘Property of Tony Stark’ engraved inside of it.

“No, Pete, you’re not. But when you are, I’ll be here.”

#starker #Von writes stuff #thewitchway writes stuff #von's moodboards

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