#I just want food

[achilleslyre]

maybe when i live somewhere where no one sleeps in the kitchen i’ll be ok

[vamossainz55]

ive been fighting for my life for an hour to get food delivered i might cry-

[nagitolovemotel]

hi

[reidslibrarybook]

all i want to eat is fried but all i CAN eat is soup

[woodland-roaming]

Door dash: We are sorry this location is too far away.

It's 10min down the road! Not even!

[bogbitchthings]

really sucks not being able to afford food sometimes, i just need a fucking break

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[thesoftestpunk]

I can’t figure out my period cravings >:(

[sunsetcorvid]

dear mojang

add more crops in minecraft im begging you im on my hands and knees give us tomatoes give us onions give us strawberries give us peppers

add more food recipes please give us sandwiches give us more pastries give us pudding or some shit

sincerely, the farmer of every minecraft server

[chocobothis]

A Bojangles opened near-ish us and holy fuck this line. We have traffic cones, hi vis vests, and then some. Bruh, what.

[1st-worldsaver]

Why so expensive

-the shopper

[blackandpinkcrown]

My mental health has gotten to the point where instead of having and attempting to communicate my feelings I just say that I’m hungry and this seems like a problem

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

[hollsholls]

I’m watching Netflix and more i want a calippo, but it’s 2 in the morning, and my parents are asleep downstairs, and we have no calippos.

Pain.

[redraven3093]

what a girl got to do to have someone that can cook me meals tht actually safe for me to eat

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods