#I just want to hear his internal narration you know?

[thedaythatwas]

I need to know what goes on inside akechi’s head on the evening of october 24th.

like. look at it from his perspective. he comes to leblanc early. he has his priorities straight: he’s going to play some mind games, really get under joker’s skin.

(bear with me while I get serious about a profoundly unserious conversation)

he’s staking his claim on enemy territory. he’s sitting patiently, waiting for akiren to walk through the door. surely, it will intimidate his rival to know that he’s made himself at home in his living space. look how close he managed to slip without akiren noticing! he even went so far as to strike up a conversation with his odd barista caretaker. akechi would drop some quick political jargon here, reference some continental philosopher’s name there— all in the name of making akiren look totally incompetent.

really, joker should be terrified. he should feel violated, even. akechi would! hence:

look— he’s so self satisfied! yes, he totally won this round!

🚨 BUZZER NOISE! 🚨

see, akechi is playing 4D chess. so is akiren! but they’re using drastically different playbooks. we know this because goro akechi procedes to get hit with the following:

I know you as the player don’t need to select that dialogue option (I could go on about the implications of that, but other posts have already said it better). but you can! and I, for one, do.

not to get too deep on what is obviously a joke post, but I think this offers some insight into those little rants that akechi goes on sometimes. you know what I’m talking about— “oh, you’re so special, so interesting, it’s like we were fated to meet each other!”

yes— they were basically fated to meet each other, but that’s not the point.

as silly as it sounds, the fact that dialogue options like this exist proves the oft-stated fact that akiren is the antithesis to akechi’s thesis.

akechi plans his interactions with akiren down to a tee, and still, akiren manages to throw akechi off his rhythm! every. single. time. nobody else does this.

part of this is because akiren sees his interactions with akechi for what they’re worth. it’s all a gamble, a chess match. akechi appreciates that akiren is an equal player in their game. he respects that. it takes intelligence to see a bluff for what it is, and to call it. flirtatiously, too!

that respect is what makes their relationship so compelling. it holds true whether you read what they have as love, hate, obsession, or, hell, even all of the above! you know it isn’t indifference, because that doesn’t make any sense coming from either of them.

call me crazy (I certainly deserve it) but if akiren responds “honey, I’m home” to akechi, he hears another message loud and clear: I see what you tried to do here, I’m calling you on it, and you don’t scare me. you’ve made your move, and I’m going to undo it with flair, because I’m joker, and you love it.

and when you look at it like that, it makes sense why little things might set off akechi’s thoroughly-stated appreciation of akiren. they aren’t “little” to him at all. I’m sure he doesn’t wax poetic just to fuel akiren’s ego, anyway. that isn’t quite his style.

and hey! even if akiren didn’t mean to communicate all of that (he totally did though), it doesn’t make the sentiment any less real to akechi! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. the guy has issues. let him plot the downfall of his enemies (real and perceived) in peace <3

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning

TW: Internalized Homophobia / Transcript / AN under the cut

AN: Here we are, just one more post before we conclude part 1 of this bittersweet story. As I've mentioned before, this story consists of three parts- Part One - Youth | Part Two - Uni | Part Three - Wife.

Transcript

Nancy Narrates: [As a treat for the few students who stayed behind, the nuns took us into to the city to shop on Christmas Eve]

[It was the first time Vanessa and I spent alone time together since I started dating Geoffrey]

[I’ve never been happier]

Nancy: [blushes] What?

Vanessa: [whispers] Do you feel like we’re being watched?

Nancy: Oh, Sister Agnes? [gulps] She’s right behind me, isn’t she?

Vanessa: [laughs] I’m serious! Let’s ditch the group.

Nancy: And risk getting a mark? Or worse, sent back home?

Vanessa: [shudders] Having to spend the rest of the break with my father? No thanks. Guess I’ll behave myself- for now anyway.

Vanessa: Sooo, what did you get your boyfriend for Christmas? A thong? One of those string thingies for his glasses?

Nancy: [snorts] I got him a broach.

Vanessa: You’re fucking with me, right?

Nancy: What? It was really nice, and very expensive.

Vanessa: Sure, if he’s your grandfather, Nancy!

Nancy: [sheepishly] I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I don’t know if I’m even doing this right. Shouldn't it...feel like something?

Vanessa: What do you mean?

Nancy: Holding hands and kissing. I thought it was suppose to feel like fireworks, like everything is burning and achy. I only felt it once...the first time, at that party.

Vanessa: Oh.. [looks away] Maybe he just needs practice...

Nancy: Maybe... Vanessa, I wa-

Vanessa: Hey! Let’s get some hot cocoa!

Nancy Narrates: [I wish she knew how much I missed when it was just me and her]

[No matter what, she will always be the sun to me]

Vanessa: So, are you going to tell me what’s in those bags?

Nancy: Maybe you should Guess?

Vanessa: Very funny, Blondie. I thought we weren’t exchanging gifts?

Nancy: [pouts] Does that mean you didn’t get me anything?

Vanessa: That’s because we said we weren’t when we were shopping! I could have gotten you something!

Nancy: [chuckles] It’s ok! You really didn’t have to get me anything. I just wanted to get you something I think you’ll like alot.

Nancy: Ta-da! I wanted to officially welcome you into the League of Blondes.

Vanessa: [cackling] No fucking way! This is the best Christmas gift ever, are you kidding!! [digs through bag] What are the scissors for?

Nancy: I was hoping you’d cut my hair. We can both have a new look.

Vanessa: You’re full of surprises, Landgraab. Let’s do it!

Vanessa: You’re being sooo quiet but your thoughts are sooo loud. What are you thinking about right now?

Nancy: Sorry. It’s nothing...

Vanessa: Tell me. Please.

Nancy: No, it’s fine.

Vanessa: Come onnn, please?

Nancy: What happened with Angela?

Vanessa: [huffs] Ah. I was wondering when you’d ask about that.

Nancy: Then why didn’t you just tell me about her?

Vanessa: There’s nothing to talk about. Pretty sure you heard the story.

Nancy: Sure, from everyone else but not from you. I want to hear your side.

Vanessa: [sighs] My side. We were best friends. We did everything together. I loved her a lot. All eyes were on us... so, I guess that’s how everyone noticed how close we were. People were saying things about us, and I was scared my father would find out and think I was like that. So, I turned on her. I called her names. I shunned her. I ruined her life...

Vanessa: It got so bad that she left the school. I never heard from her again. [voice cracks] You have to understand... if my father thought I liked girls, he would kill me. I could never let anyone think I’m like that! I’d rather they all thought I slept around with all the boys in school than think that. I had to do it...

Nancy: Do you?

Vanessa: [sobs] W-what?

Nancy Narrates: [My heart was racing. It just slipped out. And then I said it again, and that time, it felt like I was asking myself]

Nancy: Do you like girls?

Vanessa: [whimpers] I...no!! I’m not...I’m not a lesbian! I swear, Nancy! Please, believe me.

Nancy Narrates: [All that time...I had thought I was the one terrified of what it meant to love her. She was terrified of loving me too]

[This is what kissing should feel like]

Vanessa: [softly] Will you stay in my room tonight?

Nancy: Yes.

Nancy Narrates: [I had so many questions I wanted to ask her. So many things about myself I wanted to share, but there was one thing I wanted more]

[junkissed]

late night talking

member — minghao x f reader genre — angst, idk if there's enough fluff for this to count as hurt/comfort but the ending is sort of happy ? word count — 2.1k synopsis — the best and worst conversations always happen at 1am. warnings — reader is very drunk and very very insecure, lots of crying, lots of internal back & forth, unreliable narrator moment, refers to reader as girlfriend/my girl/etc., idk if i'm missing anything else but lmk if i am notes — this is an old fic that i never really intended to be released but @onlymingyus and @wooahaeproductions convinced me otherwise. sorry this is not at all what i normally post lmao i swear don't write like this often i just found this in my drive that i wrote when i was in a very shitty mood. we will return to your regularly scheduled smut programming soon i promise lmao! leave a comment in the reblogs or send an ask if you enjoyed this? idk i am nervous to post this pls don't perceive me too much

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you're ugly when you're drunk.

“hao?”

your voice rings throughout the house, the sound shaky and quieter than usual.

he wouldn't even have known you were home if he hadn't heard your friend's car pull up minutes ago, bright headlights flashing through the bedroom window. he wouldn't have known, if he wasn't already worried sick at you being gone so long and consuming an unknown amount of alcohol. he should've been there with you, but too much was riding on the deadline for his students’ grades that had to be finished before midnight. any other day he would've been by your side the whole night, a steady hand on your arm for balance and a sharp eye on your glass just in case. he loves playing the role of protective boyfriend, letting his girl do whatever she wants because he'll always be there to watch over her. but he couldn't do that tonight, and it tears him up inside.

he hears your trudging footsteps down the hall, soft footfalls signalling your approach as you drag yourself towards the room. he pretends not to hear; he doesn't want to make a big deal out of this and embarrass you.

“you're home early,” he comments with a chuckle, but his sarcasm is lost on you in this state. it's well after 1 in the morning, and you tilt your head in confusion at his words, brows deeply furrowed.

“what— are you working on?” you ask after a moment, focusing all your energy on not stumbling over your words. 

you know how drunk you are, he knows how drunk you are, but even now you're still putting on an act. you hate feeling stupid in front of him, and right now you couldn't feel any stupider. the worst part is that you feel as stupid when you're sober as you do right now, but you couldn't tell him that.

he pauses, choosing his next words carefully as he surveys your current state. he can't risk hurting your feelings, especially in such a vulnerable headspace.

“grading finals,” he decides on. not too detailed to confuse you, not too simplified to make you feel stupid, just enough to make you feel involved.

distantly you feel your eyes welling up with tears. you don't know why, but at the same time you know exactly why. you're never good enough compared to him, not when you come home drunk in the dead of night, and he never does. not when he's so good at everything he touches, so talented and beautiful and perfect, and you're… not. 

he deserves someone at his level, an artistic genius like him who can help him with his work. someone with an eye for his paintings, someone smarter, someone prettier, someone who can keep him on his toes. someone who won't drag him down and burden him with your obvious lack of skill and your quality of being so embarrassingly lightweight that you need to be supervised at all times. 

“i’m sorry,” you finally muster. you can't find the words to explain what you mean, but you hope he's able to sense your sincerity.

“what for?” he asks. his voice is softer now. 

you hate it when he uses that voice. he's talking down to you, talking like you're a child and he has to explain everything to you in the gentlest way possible because you aren't capable of handling the truth.

you love when he uses that voice. sometimes he can be so blunt it almost feels isolating, but when he talks to you like you're a child in that sweet, gentle, kind tone you feel like everything will be okay. he can soften himself for you, drop his straightforward persona around you and be the tender man you know he's capable of being. 

you lift your eyes to his computer screen and the feelings you've been struggling with float back into view. “i'm sorry,” you repeat, voice cracking despite the effort you put in to stop it from breaking. it's all you can say.

you don't notice when the tears overflow, bursting from your eyes without a sound. you're embarrassing, you're an idiot, standing in front of him with red eyes and hunched shoulders as tears stream down your cheeks. you don't even feel them fall.

if he knows what you're trying to convey with your tearful apologies, he doesn't mention it. 

of course he knows, how could he not when he's so astute with everything? you suck at keeping things to yourself. 

of course he doesn't know, why would he take the time out of his busy schedule to care about how you're feeling? you're not worth his energy.

the moment seems to stretch on for eternity, standing in front of him. you don't know why you started dating in the first place; he doesn't have the time, you're too annoying, too clingy, too affectionate. standing in front of him, you don't feel anything. you just feel cold.

you turn to drag yourself out of the room, deciding that you've embarrassed yourself enough by now. you don't know where you'll go or what you're doing, probably to pour yourself a glass of water and try to sleep on the couch. obviously he won't want you to sleep in his bed when you’re like this, why should he? you aren’t deserving of that privilege.

but then you feel a warm hand on your wrist, gently tugging you back towards him. you lose your balance, stumble over your feet, fall onto his lap. you're mortified, barely able to get another “sorry” out before trying to stand again on wobbly legs. you shouldn't be here. you're so aware, so painfully conscious of your weight on him, every ounce of energy you have left fighting to keep yourself from annoying him even further but it feels like it's too late. everything that comes from you is too little, too late.

“no,” he says. his tone is still that soft, sweet sound, but his voice is firm and you don't try to get up again. “we can talk tomorrow,” he says as he begins to run his hand along your back, and you hate yourself for the way you instantly melt at his touch. “just… relax. calm down.”

your body slouches against his chest, feeling like a puddle on his lap, head tucked into the crook of his neck whether you meant to or not. your legs dangle limply off his lap, arms wrapped loosely around the back of his chair as he holds you.

“it's okay,” he says simply, still stroking his hand along your back in small, soothing motions. “it's okay.” he repeats the words, maybe to convince himself but mostly to convince you from having a breakdown. even now when he's treating you so delicately, your brain won't let you rest: he's probably scared of you, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean any of it and he's using whatever means necessary to stop you from turning hysterical or even violent. of course it doesn't mean anything to him. 

“how much did you drink tonight, baby?” he asks, and you know you should take that as judgmental but you don't have the energy left anymore. you don't note the twinge of concern in his voice, you can't see the look in his eyes as he gazes down at you.

“a little— a lot,” you answer, somewhat truthfully. the real truth is that you lost count. you weren't trying to get drunk, but one turned into two turned into ten and before you even knew what you were doing a car was dropping you off in front of your house.

he shifts his legs for you to sit more comfortably on his lap, and as much as you want to fight it you don't have the strength to. “do you want to go to bed?” he asks gently. “or do you want to stay up with me?”

“don't… want you to go to bed ‘cuz of me,” you mumble against his neck. god, his skin is so soft and warm. you couldn't move your body right now even if you tried. “not your fault.”

“what kind of guy would i be if i didn't take care of my girlfriend when she needs me?” he asks. “i can put you to bed if you want. it's alright. it's late anyway.”

“it's not– your job,” you manage to reply, and his hand on your back stops for a second.

“it is my job,” he says softly. he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “i'm sorry if you feel like i haven't done that.”

“please, don't— no sorry,” you choke out as fresh tears prick at your eyes. “it's my fault. i'm sorry. it's my fault.”

he holds you tighter, both arms wrapped around you on his lap now. “it's not your fault,” he says in that same firm but gentle voice. “you haven't done anything wrong at all. it's alright, baby, i promise. you don't have anything to worry about. why are you sorry?”

“i don't know,” you mumble. your hand clutches at his chest unconsciously, balling his t-shirt in your fist. “i dunno. i love you. i dunno.”

“i love you, too,” he says after a beat. the tears, the drunken outburst, he just lets it all happen. without a word of complaint. despite the voices in your head fighting to convince you otherwise, he never says a single negative thing to you.

you know he's not normally like this. with everyone else he's polite, unemotional, reserved. he's never vulnerable. which is why you're so confused right now.

“why?” you slur, still grasping onto hope.

he hums in questioning, nudging you to elaborate.

“why are you like this to me?”

but now he's the one who's confused. “like what?”

you pause, and the room goes quiet for a moment, the only sound your shallow breaths against his chest. “nice.”

for all his knowledge, this time he's actually lost. “why would i not be nice to you?”

“i don't deserve it.”

he shifts again, pulling you closer to his chest as he starts to run his fingers through his hair. “of course you do, baby.”

“you don't deserve me.”

he stops again, this time in shock. “hey. that's not true.”

“is too true,” you say. your eyes are closed and you can't help the frown overtaking your face. “you should have somebody you deserve. it's not me.”

he just sighs, and you feel his chest expand beneath your cheek at the deep breath he takes. “i love you, baby. not anyone else. you'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk then. but i'm not mad at you, okay? there's nothing wrong. everything's okay.”

you try to mimic his sigh, but the angle you're laying at on his chest and the alcohol in your system makes it hard to breathe deeply. 

“do you want to keep sitting with me?” he asks. he knows how much you like the sounds his keyboard makes, the quiet tapping as he enters grades and types comments to his students about things you could never fathom to understand.

your eyes stay closed and your head doesn't move. “yeah,” you murmur softly.

he settles back into his chair, you curled up on his lap. he's not doing much, he's finished the worst of it and now just entering numbers. he glances down at your figure, almost asleep on him, and he feels an ache in his chest. 

every emotion feels amplified to you right now, but if it took getting blackout drunk for you to finally say it then it must've been weighing on you for a long time coming. he wonders how long you've felt like this, felt inadequate compared to him, and it makes him pause. it was never his intention. when you're awake and sober and hopefully not massively hungover, then you can talk, and he can make this right.

he loves the person snuggled against his chest, loves the feeling of you comforted and protected by him, and he'll do anything to make sure you know that. he'll do anything to let you see yourself the way he sees you. above all the worries he has about you, he knows one thing for sure.

you're cute when you're drunk.

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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[look-at-the-soul]

Hola, Mar! ❤️❤️.

I'm here to sending you a request. Tommy telling his kids (it can be both of them, or just Charlie or just Ruby) a story about his mother. We know he didn't have good memories about her especially because what happened, but maybe, he remembered something maybe a bedtime story (or a recipe, music, etc) and he tells them about her. The kids didn't know her, but after that moment maybe they can imagine how their grandma was ❤️.

My dear Flor @justrainandcoffee thank you so much for sending this request!!!! I knew I had to make it extra special since it’s part of my Grandma’s series 👵🏻♥️✨ so I didn’t want to rush it. This made me go back in time to our endless sleepovers, it made me think of her. I hope you enjoy this 💕

Special thanks to @blondie-22 for creating the BEAUTIFUL moodboard, like always you capture the exact essence of the story 🥰

Edit: A/N part of this story is inspired by a song called Toy Soldier by Martika

Word count 1,172

Toy Soldier

The bedroom door cracked louder than Tommy expected, he cursed himself internally because it was late and the house was quiet, the last thing he needed was to wake up his wife.

But she was already up and leaned against the window, the shadow of her frame only visible under the moonlight. Frowning, he stopped taking off his suit jacket midway when he noticed something was under the blankets of his bed.

“Why are you up?” He whispered.

“Charlie’s having trouble with bedtime.” She replied back. “He thinks there’s a monster under his bed.” She then added but also gave him a warning look so he better wouldn’t laugh it off.

“There’s no such thing.”

“They wanted to sleep here for reassurance.” Y/N placed her hands on his chest to lean in for a quick kiss. “He was so scared last night.”

“Daddy?” Ruby’s small voice broke the silence of the room.

Charlie stirred and his eyes fluttered open.

“Go back to sleep.” Tommy urged them.

“There’s a monster under my bed, I heard noises.” Charlie assured him.

Sitting next to his son, Tommy caressed his blonde hair in a loving way.

“I can assure you there’s no monster under your bed, son.” Tommy explained in a calmed tone.

“But I heard…”

Tommy shook his head gently, knowing it was a good time to share a fond memory that suddenly hit him hard. After being pushed back to the farthest place of his mind for years…

“You’ve nothing to worry about,” Tommy assured his boy, then turning to face Y/N he invited her over the bed, “you want to hear what really is?”

“I do Daddy.” Ruby replied while Charlie nodded.

“It’s the toy soldier.” Tommy assured his kids. Then clearing his throat he continued. “All toys come up to life around three in the morning, when the house is quiet and you and your sister are sleeping, they start playing by themselves. But when you wake up, they stop because you must not see them.”

His voice and the fabulous tale he was narrating had both his children and Y/N captivated.

“But how do you know?” Charlie asked trying to understand.

Tommy raised his eyebrows, taking his time to explain it properly.

“Well, that’s ‘cause when I was about your age, I heard noises in my room too.”

Y/N noticed the emotions shining in his eyes and his voice.

“And you had toys like mine?” Charlie asked but Tommy shook his head.

“No, I had a horse made of wood, uncle Charlie made it for me.”

Ruby was in awe. “Like a real horse?”

“Yes but a small one, I carried it everywhere.” He relaxed against the pillows, Y/N knew his childhood wasn’t easy, he was forced to mature earlier than other kids.

“So one night I was terrified and went to sleep with my Mum and she told me it was my toys playing.”

“And she told you how did she know?”

“No, she didn’t.”

And both kids went on to ask a million more questions about their grandma, a loving figure they never got the chance to meet. To Tommy this meant much more than he could put into words, he went on to describe her features, mannerisms and and few secrets, so his kids could feel her close to them in some way.

He didn’t know, but through them and their curiosity, he was healing a part of his broken heart by remembering the good moments, her legacy.

Y/N could see the way their imagination was running wild trying to put a face for such mysterious woman, trying to think of what was like to be on road forever stuck in a caravan as they said, asking how she could ride bareback a horse without falling.

Tommy rarely talked about his mother, it had always been something that was buried deep inside his heart, a very sensitive topic, Y/N knew how much it had hurt him to lose her at such young age. Not having her when he needed her the most definitely left a permanent scar in his heart. Y/N wondered how different would Tommy be under another circumstances.

And by the way he described his mother, Y/N realized he looked so much like her instead of his father, which given the circumstances, was a blessing. Although, thanks to Polly who took the role as a mother figure for the Shelby siblings, they had managed much better than if Arthur Sr. was in charge.

“Why can’t we play with them?” Asked Ruby with a deep frown.

“Because after playing with you all day, they get to work by playing, the soldier gotta watch out the fort right?” He stared at Charlie. “And your doll has to drink some more tea, ey.”

Then, a gentle smile played on his lips.

“So you gotta go to sleep to let them play, so they can enjoy their own time.”

“That’s why I heard noises.” Charlie seemed to think about it for a second.

“Yeah.” Tommy winked at them.

“But my teddy stays with me all night.” Ruby stated.

“Hmm he’s gotta take care of you.”

“Can we stay here? So they can play?” Charlie’s eyes sparkled.

Y/N nodded feeling touched by the way Tommy managed to help Charlie leave his fears behind. Loving the way his innocent mind was processing everything.

“Of course, now just let’s all squeeze in together.”Tommy proposed. Feeling Y/N’s hand touching his hand, he looked up at her.

Soon both kids were fast asleep. The story about their toys playing and making noises was the explanation they needed to hear, to feel Tommy’s reassurance.

Y/N observed her husband taking off his clothes, hiding the gun in a drawer and coming back to bed. Thinking how of course not everything is as it should be, and the kids would realize of the truth one day…but she was more than happy to enjoy that little moment in their own little bubble while it lasted.

“That was beautiful.”

He nodded in agreement. He rarely allowed himself to have moments like these, but he felt the need to open his heart with his own happy memory with his mother, gone too soon. She had missed a lot of important events in his life that he was determined to try to be there for his children.

And at least, he could honor her memory by sharing some stories like the one where the toys start playing after midnight.

Turning off the lights of their bedside tables, Tommy drifted to sleep right away and saw the image of his mother wrapping her arms around a younger version of himself protectively, answering all the questions he had about how could his horse toy could not move during the day, or how would drink water if the river was so far away… and he saw her in his dreams smiling adoringly at him before kissing the top of his head.

Grandma series

Tommy Master list

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[stopper-my-heart]

Nick Nelson's Comphet Hair Sweep

Hear me out. You know this gesture?

This is Nick Nelson's Comphet Hair Sweep™️.

I'll be sidestepping the trees today in favour of the forest (i.e., skipping over the other layers that any single instance of this gesture may involve in favour of the theme that unifies them: comphet).

'Comphet' = compulsory heterosexuality

For the purposes of this post, I mean that Nick uses his 'hair sweep' gesture when he's feeling self-conscious about his sexuality and is feeling compelled – from somewhere internal, external or both – to be or appear heterosexual.

Now then! Let's look at every single instance where Nick does his Comphet Hair Sweep (and a couple of times he doesn't, to support the point).

Season 1

Episode 1: Charlie's existence and awesomeness are causing a lot of confusion for Nick (a.k.a. Nick is trying to bury his sexuality head in the sand). In this episode, Nick's Hair Sweeps are all or almost all about him trying to reassure himself of or reassert for himself his heterosexuality.

1. This is one of Nick and Charlie's early "hi"s, seen during their "hi" montage. Nick: “Hi, I don't find you cute, everything's Normal.”

2. During lunch, Nick is playing rugby with the lads and Charlie is distracted by watching him. 'Coincidentally', Nick does his Hair Sweep right after Charlie looks over. Or maybe he's just feeling like he needs to be straight lad/bro-y with his rugby mates. Either way, there doesn't seem to be any hair in Nick's face that actually needs pushing out of the way.

3. Nick hears Coach Singh praise Charlie's running and looks over to watch. Nick is impressed and not staring at all.

4. Charlie tackles Nick for the first time. This physical contact is perhaps more Something than either of them was expecting.

5. Nick tackles Charlie. We don't see Nick's face while he does the Hair Sweep but all of his other faces surrounding this moment suggest surprise, enjoyment and confusion that are not solely related to Charlie's improvement at rugby. (Hello, leaves. Thanks for the reinforcement.)

-----------------

Episode 2: For the majority of this episode, we see Nick spending time alone with Charlie. He seems to be setting aside any confusion in favour of having carefree fun with Charlie earlier on and then later explores his sexuality a bit rather than avoiding it or pushing it down. As a result, we have only one Comphet Hair Sweep in this episode, during the transition between Nick's approaches.

1. Charlie helps Nick play the drums. Nick, steeling himself a very hetero-normal amount: “This is fine. Charlie can be pressed against me from shoulder to knee and I'll feel nothing.” (Narrator: He did not, in fact, feel nothing.)

This marks a shift where, from here on out, every single Comphet Hair Sweep is because of someone else's expectations of Nick rather than his expectations of himself. He can no longer ignore or avoid or refuse to recognise that he's into Charlie.

Note that Nick googles “am i gay?” at the end of this episode.

-----------------

Episode 3: This episode is another one where Nick spends a lot of time seeking out and spending time with Charlie, as well as defying his mates' expectations. As a result, we again have only one Comphet Hair Sweep.

1. Harry and Sai are discussing girls Nick might be able to get with at Harry's birthday party. Nick is feeling compelled to seem straight for the lads, but he also wants to shut down this discussion (his actual crush is right there and might get the wrong impression!).

-----------------

Episode 4: Unfortunately for Nick, in this episode he has to be around other people, with whom he hides himself, more often again.

1. Imogen immediately notices that Nick looks different (i.e., happier and more himself) after he and Charlie get together. Obviously Nick needs to re-place his hair after Imogen ruffles it, but he also wants to hide that the change is related to something decidedly not-hetero.

2. After Harry chucks a rugby ball at Tao, and Nick comes to check on Tao and collect the ball, Tao takes out his frustration and anger by throwing it back at Nick. If Nick wasn't already aware of Tao's feelings about the rugby lads, from this interaction alone it's clear to him that Tao is assuming that he's like Harry because he's part of that group, just another one of the (straight) laddish lads.

3. Before the St John's rugby match, Charlie jogs over to meet his friends who have come to cheer him on. Charlie has just reassured Nick that he won't say anything about their relationship to his friends, but Nick is still nervous and feeling a need to appear straight, especially with his own friends and the rugby lads all around.

4. Darcy nevertheless picks up on something romantic between Nick and Charlie and asks Charlie about it. When Charlie replies, "We're friends" and Darcy pokes at it a bit more, we can see Nick (who's been eavesdropping) in the background doing his Comphet Hair Sweep to compensate.

5. After Charlie is tackled during the rugby match for the first time, Nick calls out to him (which he doesn't do for any other player). We then see Nick come into frame in the background and do a Comphet Hair Sweep before the camera cuts away.

-----------------

Episode 5: Nick makes big strides towards pulling away from others' expectations of him in this episode. This is the beginning of the end of the Comphet Hair Sweep.

1. Harry throws something at Tao and Charlie, Tao retaliates with a shove and an insult, and Nick tells Harry off to stop the confrontation. However, Harry then turns on Nick, saying, "Aw, are you gay for them?", eliciting laughter from the rest of the lads. This homophobia hits close to home for Nick; he loses his nerve, stops sticking up for Tao and Charlie and does his Hair Sweep, uncomfortable but hiding behind appearing straight once again.

2. Nick invites Imogen to the park to tell her that he's not romantically interested in her. After doing so, Nick begins to do a Comphet Hair Sweep but abandons the gesture, changing it to just slightly pushing his hair to the side. This reflects Nick's decision to then be as open and honest with Imogen as he feels ready for at that moment, offering a confession of not “fitting” with their friend group.

2.5. Note that at the end of Nick's talk with Imogen, there's much more hair in Nick's face that he does not attempt to Sweep aside.

3. Unfortunately, Nick hasn't escaped Harry's grasp fully yet. He seems frustrated at letting himself continue to be confined by the group's hetero expectations but still chooses to conform, for now, though possibly deciding after this Hair Sweep that he needs to break free. (Cue animated lovebirds taking flight.)

-----------------

Episode 6: This episode marks the end of the Comphet Hair Sweep as Nick begins to come out to people. Tara has also just publicly come out and is struggling with the fallout from that.

1. Demeera on Reddit posited that the locking music practice room is a metaphor for ‘the closet’. If we take that view, it seems especially telling that Nick does his Hair Sweep right after telling Charlie that he may be bisexual and when looking towards ‘the closet’ where Tara and Darcy are currently trapped.

2. Note that it's Nick who then shoves open the door to ‘the closet’, setting Tara and Darcy free, and perhaps himself as well. We see Nick attempt a Hair Sweep but with the ‘wrong’ hand, doing it a moment later with the other hand. So he does the gesture twice, with both hands...‘bi’ times with ‘bi’ hands, if you will. (And then he sets off on the LGBT corridor run.)

3. This is the final Comphet Hair Sweep, and, notably, it's out of frame. Nick does it when Tao looks at him -- Tao, who is the last of their friend group not to know about the nature of his and Charlie's relationship, and who Nick knows adamantly believes that he's straight.

-----------------

Season 2

After S1E6, Nick does not ever do the Comphet Hair Sweep gesture again. The only remotely similar gesture he does is in season 2 when he sweeps his hair back after his shower in episode 2. He uses one hand to pull his hair back along both sides of his part. This is a Confidently Bisexual Hair Sweep if I've ever seen one.

-----------------

Note that this post is a mixture of genuine and tongue-in-cheek. I don't plan on specifying further; I'll leave that space for you to develop your own views with less influence from mine.

Thanks for taking the time to read through and consider this!

Thank you, too, to @bairdthereader for contributing "sweep" as the term for the motion.

[voidcanarys]

Blue Lock Fic Recs

I’ve been meaning to make one of these for a while now. I truly cannot state how much I enjoyed these fics so if a few, or even just one, stands out to you, please give it a shot. I’ve split the list into three sections, kaisagi, bachisagi and miscellaneous but I have wayyyy more fics so I’ll probs make at least a part 2, maybe a part 3.

KAISAGI

I Pay the Price, You’re the Answer to the Pain by yasuna

Teen | Completed | 42.8k words | 8/8

Romantic Hate-Flirting | Homophobia In Football | Angst | Character Study | Developing Romance

It's been one kiss. One kiss that didn't mean shit. But captured by the cameras and broadcasted for the entire world to see, it has the potential to end both of their careers right then and there.

Kaiser and Isagi navigating the world of football whilst staring on a reality tv show. The banter between Isagi and Kaiser is so fun and I love the incorporation of real life events and controversies.

Oat Milk (and Other Irredeemable Vices) by @caluette

Teen | Completed | 26.5k words | 3/3

AU - Coffee Shops & Cafés | AU - No Blue Lock | Enemies to Lovers | Getting Together

Yoichi Isagi works at a coffee shop on campus, and likes to believe he has the virtue of being patient with the people he encounters. He does not, however, file Michael Kaiser under "people." Or, the coffee shop au where they hate each other. Until they don't.

So cute. Dramatic musical theatre major Kaiser and fed up minimum wage worker Isagi. Brilliant characterisation. Love the dialogue between Kaiser and Isagi and their snarky-ness.

Kintsukuroi by laylayli

Mature | Completed | 54.3k words | 3/3

Processing Grief | Kaiser-Centric | Mending Relationships | It starts Bad But Gets Better

'“Kaiser,” he starts to say, “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, but are you really okay?” And he’s not sure, even afterwards, what it is that makes this his breaking point. Whether it’s the fact that he’s so far away from home, feeling like he’s unmoored himself from reality in this surreal, unfamiliar place, or whether he’s just so tired, so defenceless without the fire burning through him and its fumes obscuring the things he does not want to handle. He’s not sure, if it’s because Isagi is the farthest thing from a friend or the closest thing he has to familiarity right now, but he hears himself say, “My father died,” out loud, for the first time since he got the news.' * sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you have been ruined - ocean vuong

Kaiser meeting the Isagi family and learning how to accept help and kindness. Love Kaiser internal dialogue throughout the fic and the constant push and pull between enjoying his time with Isagi and his parents but hating how it reminds him of his own familial relationships, or lack there-of. (Ness and his relationship with Kaiser is also a highlight)

BACHISAGI

Like glass from Sandy Ground by Ethereally & @putsch

Teen | Completed | 7.2k words | 1/1

Aromatic Asexual Isagi Yoichi | Pre-Relationship | Getting Together | Post-Canon

Isagi and Bachira have been best friends for eight years, and pro footballers for six. Isagi knows how Bachira takes his coffee and how many charms are on his phone, is reminded of Bachira when he sees sunflowers or nutmeg in the spice shelf. Bachira can trace every freckle on Isagi’s cheeks and count the moles on his back like constellations in the sky. Isagi and Bachira are not together.

I truly cannot emphasise more how much this fic means to me. I have read it at least 6 times and have cried every. single. time. There’s a specific quote that sends me into tears anytime I think about it (I’m tearing up as I write this). It’s such heartwarming, comforting and beautifully written fic.

Orange Juice by totallyrottentomatoes

Mature | Ongoing | 63.6k words | 5/10

Post-Canon | AU - Olympics | Slow Burn | Unreliable Narrator | Angst with a Happy Ending | Implied/Referenced Homophobia

Isagi Yoichi returns to Japan in preparation for the summer Olympics for the first time in three years, and Meguru finds him again.

The pining is so strong aughhh. Love the incorporation of the original characters. My favouite type of post-canon fic where life gets in the way but the love never leaves.

Sideline Love Story by bogreport

Explicit | Ongoing | 55.6k words | 8/29

AU - No Blue Lock | Most Characters Are Professional Soccer Players | Slow Burn | Feelings Realization | Parenting | Light Angst |

While visiting his family in Japan during the off-season, 25-year-old Bastard München player Isagi "volunteers" to coach his nephew's U-6 team. Enter: the most high-maintenance crew of soccer dads ever to make a scene on the sidelines. Although one of the kids has an older brother who Isagi wouldn't mind getting to know better... Meanwhile Bachira, his arm and his heart both freshly broken, tries to convince himself that while love is fleeting, his monster is forever.

Eeek the kids are so cute in this fic. Isagi being head over heels and not realising it. Bachira developing a crush but hesitating to persue it having just gotten out of a relationship. The author mentions that the “fic's original brainrot form, it was more like a sitcom with an ensemble cast and short silly ‘episodes’ rather than a coherent story” which makes for really fun chapter and a real long slow burn feel.

MISC

Whipper!! by bigdamnher0

Bachira Meguru/Isagi Yoichi/Itoshi Rin

Teen | Ongoing | 15.5k words | 3/6

Bachisagi Are Childhood Friends | Angst and Hurt/Comfort | Climbing As A Metaphor for Self-Actualization or Self-Destruction (Take Your Pick) | Injury | Mild PTSD

Isagi was getting used to the shape of Rin's attention: How he jammed his fingers into Bachira’s back whenever his spine sagged without tension. Barked, “WRONG,” every time they made a move that wasn’t his exact flavor of climbing. Called Isagi’s latest boulder, “fucking lukewarm,” like he was some kind of underpaid undersecretary, delivering him coffee for the day. Still, Rin never failed to hold up his end of the bargain in this tenuous belaytionship: to show them some damn good climbing. The little flame in Isagi’s chest was back. It licked him black and blue. After a near-fatal climbing accident, Rin resolved to never fail again. Isagi swore he'd take the wind out of this pretty boy's sails. And Bachira? All he wanted was a soft landing, just this once. Going up and growing up; cord of threes and all.

Rinbachisagi and bouldering/rock climbing, what more could you want. The way the author writes is so captivating and such an easy read despite all the technical terms used.

I’ll Find my Own Bravado by cygnusknights

Bachira Meguru/Isagi Yoichi/Itoshi Rin

Teen | Completed | 9.6k words | 1/1

Post-Canon | Existential Crisis on a Christmas Cruise | Isagi Yoichi & Itoshi Sae | Isagi-Centric

Meguru and Rin are hooking up. And Isagi… doesn’t hate it, but he’ll certainly have an existential crisis about it on the trio’s Mediterranean Christmas cruise, where he runs into Sae and has a weird holiday not-hookup.

The platonic saesagi is definitely the star of the show. The small Oikawa cameo was also very funny.

Despite the Overwhelming Odds, Tomorrow Came by @icarianiscariot

Itoshi Rin & Shidou Ryuusei

Teen | Completed | 19.7k words | 5/5

AU - No Blue Lock | Suicidal Thoughts | Depression | Platonic Relationships | Absent/Neglectful Parents | Angst with a Happy Ending

"Rin," Shidou repeats. "Where are you?" "I'm—" and fuck, it's so embarrassing, isn't it? The Sae in his head sneers at how lukewarm and pathetic this all is. Begging for someone to ask him to live. "Um, I'm at the bay, up on the bridge. "Silence for a few beats, and then he can hear the clink of Shidou's ridiculously oversized keychain, followed by the slam of the door and his car coming to life on the other end of the line. Rin isn't okay, and the only person he can think to turn to is his shitty brother's annoying boyfriend. A fic on platonic bonds, little things that make big differences, learning compassion toward both others and the self, and coming to terms with being alive. More or less.

A certified Blue Lock classic in my opinion. A must-read even!

On a Wire by merulus

Karasu Tabito/Otoya Eita

Teen | Completed | 128.3k words | 22/22

AU - College/University | Getting Together | Panic Attacks | Fluff & Humour | Trans Karasu Tabito

As a junior in college pursuing his passion for soccer while also putting just as much focus into having a solid post-graduation career path, Tabito Karasu honestly thought he wouldn't have enough time for romance. And especially given how his last relationship had ended, he wasn't even sure he would be able to deal with that kind of stress; he wasn't exactly a fan of letting someone in just to get hurt by them. He would rather stay on track to graduating with honors even if it meant being alone. But somehow that goddamned Eita Otoya was able to sneak his way through all of his defenses, painfully securing a place in his heart. They had been both roommates and teammates since the beginning of freshman year, and by now they also had easily solidified themselves as each other's best friend. They recently moved into an on-campus apartment with their other friend Kenyuu Yukimiya, and life was good. Karasu happened to have feelings for Otoya, but he had had this affliction for the better half of two years so it was something he was unfortunately just trying to get used to. He tried to ignore it most of the time since Otoya didn't feel the same; he was straight. Sometimes it really didn't feel that way, though.

Part 2 of a series but it can be read alone (definitely read part 1 if you enjoyed this tho)

[worldbeyondtheworld]

The AU is still emerging, so this might change. But I like the idea that part of what pushes Quiet into despair but also hatred is one specific memory of interacting with the Echo. As Quiet stagnates (their body literally starts rotting because of their mental state) between or even because of the bouts of chaotic change, that conversation loops over and over in their mind.

The same conversation which memory of also rattles several of the Voices, for various reasons.

"If you made us, then I want you to know that this has been torture."

The Echo: "The inevitability of death is torture. I would gladly put two infinite beings through what you’ve been through to spare infinite lives from oblivion."

Quiet used to be nostalgic about the Narrator being gone. For all the pain he brought them, he was always there from the beginning.

Now, that memory is rotting. Unable to let go, it distorts the more Quiet thinks about it. And it drags every memory of the Narrator along, highlighting that whenever he could, he was just using them.

All of this loops in their mind after what the Author - what the Narrator could've been if he had more power over Quiet - has done to them. Is doing to them. They're in so deep that they can't escape the spiral of their own.

He separated them again from their other half.

He imprisoned their Voices.

He is torturing them.

He. Killed. Their. HEART.

And as Hero was their moral compass on top of their agency... Quiet's not feeling merciful. Not with their emotional breakdown. Not with how he stole their agency.

They cannot act on their own. He ordered them to give necessary information. The Author also doesn't like to hear things that go against his beliefs and hopes.

There's something fascinating and horrifying about the Courts' constructs - the replicas of the Author's loved ones. He never uses Voice Impressions on them. He can never bear it when they deviate from his perception and memory of them. He erases the lines out of his narration in his thoughts and rewrites them in the same place, in the belief that now they will be perfect. Projects his ideals onto these shards of Quiet.

This changed Construct is more real than the previous one. But it's still made from Quiet's body. It's still made from thoughts. It's made real by believing, just like believing the words on a paper.

But paper can tear. If you erase your writing too often in the same place, it wears the fibers thin.

A similar thing is happening with the Empty Shards. Rewriting them over and over again weakens the pieces of the Construct they bear. Makes them brittle.

Also, with keeping all of these Shards, they will start rotting eventually. They are dead but the Author is forcing them to change in the same way. So the rot grows.

The Author doesn't realize this. Refuses to realize this. Quiet internally argues that he should tell him, but that this would also hurt the Author. He should tell him. It would upset the Author and he likely won't even listen. Oh, what should they do?

But they cannot make that choice anymore, do they?

Quiet is a god of stasis, stagnation. To refuse to make a choice is still within their power. Like in another timeline where they destroyed the Construct and everything within, their inaction will destroy this one, too. But there'll be no coming back this time. They'll make sure of it.

[kiirotoao]

HEYY YOUR SO PRETTY BTW AND I LOVE YOUR BLOG

the ask :

so, i wanted to get ur opinion on s3 mike. such as, what he was going through and his internalized homophobia. things like that!

maybe some things w/ him and his relationship w/ el too!

THANKS FOR ANSWERING IF U DO ANSWER :D

I’m gonna pretend that I’m fine after weeks of getting flustered just staring at this in my inbox! Thank you, anon!!! 🥺🥺 You’re making me blush! But, uh, anyways! Let’s talk about Mike Wheeler! 💙

I think that Mike in season 3 is the most interesting version of himself in the entire show because of how hidden his story becomes. In all other seasons, Mike cries openly with other people and expresses his sadness and fears over Will and El.

In season 3, though? Besides the finale, the tearful goodbyes narrated by Hopper, we never see Mike truly cry and explicitly talk through why. Sure, it can be pretty readily implied that it’s because of the Byers leaving, but we don’t hear that aloud. We don’t see exactly who’s on Mike’s mind as those cars pull away. We're left with silent and unsure stares, looks of seeming regret or something else unknown.

Season 3 is truly a huge turning point for Mike, he’s losing his girlfriend and arguably his closest friend in the Party, and it's so easily overlooked because it all happens at the very end of the final episode. Whereas El goes through hell and fights to connect to Billy and save her friends, where Max also feels the weight of his loss, where Will gets his heartbreaking scene at Castle Byers - all the Party members who are very linked to Mike get their emotional moments that season, and we know exactly why they cry.

But Mike dances around his emotions all season long. In consulting Lucas to deal with breaking up and making up with El, in trying to tell El that he loves her without ever saying it, in fighting with Will because "it's not [his] fault [Will doesn't] like girls."

Oh, Mike. I really don't think that Mike was out to hurt Will when he said that. Rather, it's a culmination of heteronormativity and the poor relationship that he has with El and trying to compensate for it. I interpret the outburst as him saying, 'it's not my fault that I'm in a relationship and you're not, so you wouldn't get it.' And by extension, Will being in a relationship would require, normatively, being with a girl.

But at the same time, for a jab that deep - I can't help but question more.

Mike could have said, "it's not my fault you don't like anyone!" or "don't bring her into this!" or even as simple as, "you wouldn't understand!" But no. Mike takes the direct train to sexuality station and brings up the fact that El is a girl. So it seems to me that Mike is very likely harboring something in his heart about why El being a girl is important for him to argue.

But we never know for sure. This moment is never addressed again due to the Mind Flayer’s sudden return. And so it’s up to us as the audience to decide what we think of Mike’s statement. And personally, as I’m sure many of you believe, too, I think that Mike is projecting and trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t like girls onto Will, pushing away his problems to someone he trusts who’s more similar to himself than he realizes.

Tied to his inability to say to El’s face that he loves her, to the fact that they've - reportedly from Hopper - kissed all Summer long with no mention of meaningful conversation, to the very surface-level relational mending his makes by calling El’s outfit “cool” and giving her candy, to the very end of the season where Mike once again denies saying that he loved El just before an open-eyed kiss and a face like this:

Mike doesn’t need to say anything about that kiss for me to know that that’s not the reaction of someone who’s perfectly happy to be back together with his ex-girlfriend. So do I wish that we had a moment of vulnerability for Mike where he expressed his heart in season 3? Yes, but his nonverbals spoke volumes.

So, yeah, I think that in season 3, Mike is very much gay, but he he acts cautiously and self-preservingly because trauma is drowning everything out.

And what is this trauma? I know that I’m working backwards, but I need to bring up that Mike was separated from El for so long in the time of season 2, and I think that that makes him so attached to her in season 3. Think about what else he says in that scene when he admits his love: “I love her and I can’t lose her again.”

As sweet as it is to be reunited to El by the end of season 2, it’s not a clean reunion for Mike. He’s in shambles when he learns that Hopper was lying to him and not letting El even tell Mike that she’s okay.

Not to mention that this isn’t his first but second time almost losing her to the monster that season.

Because of this unstable connection, I think that Mike has built a protective relationship with El, one that focuses on keeping her rather than knowing her, and we see how that all unfolds with his superficial “superhero” complex he has of her in season 4. Season 3 was just the beginning.

And so I think that Mike in season 3 stands as a version of himself that’s confused protectiveness with love. Even though he arguably behaves with that same mindset all the time, it’s at its highest during season 3 because of his never-ending insistence to help El even if she’s capable to do things by herself. Mike isn’t just clingy, he’s worried. Worried for her life. There’s no time to worry about where the problems in their relationship arise, there’s only time to fix them and go back to how they were at equilibrium - when things were normal.

Thus, Mike behaves rather stubbornly. He’s insistent and defensive, not letting a single thing slip through the cracks and risk any more hurt. In doing so, his personality is left far under the surface and unexplored. He only acts to stir up emotions rather than reflect on them, because any pausing to think will only confuse him more. He’s looking ahead, looking at the light, holding onto everything good he has with all the propriety of a 13/14-year-old who has a heart bigger than his head.

Simply put, Mike is a bit of an anti-hero this season. And I think that it's because of this that he starts to get most controversial for the audience.

I’m clearly a Mike apologist, but I genuinely don’t think that he’s out to hurt anyone when he argues with others this season. He’s just stubborn and loud about it, which can definitely be to his fault at times. But in the end, when it comes down to who he loves, I think that season 3 is the era of change, and that ending scene with Hopper’s letter paints the perfect setup for the next seasons to reveal that Mike has a lot more going on under the surface that’s causing all of this. Maybe some regrets, things he wishes he could “turn back the clock” on, regarding, say, Will and El and how he treats them platonically and romantically? Just a thought.

The question of the day for Mike in season 3 stands: is he being selfish or selfless? And I think that it’s a mix of both, blended in with some heavy confusion due to role changing (not needing to protect El) and uncertain affections (not knowing how to figure out what he has with Will).

So, yeah. All in all, I think that Mike is really closeted in season 3 and doesn’t realize it until the final episode, and I honestly love him for it. As someone who’s gone through similar hurdles of internalized homophobia as a teen, it’s really heartwarming to see him grow and figure things out, even if the journey is far from perfect. It’s a humble origin story. And if he somehow ends up being straight and Byler isn’t endgame, well. I’ll be upset at the writers, but the impact still stands.

[tossawary]

I'm letting the 1984 "Dune" film play in the background and there's a LOT to say about this beautifully campy ridiculousness, but the part that's really getting me is the "inner voices". The audience at times hears the internal thoughts of various characters, presumably taken largely from the book, in a whispery voice. And it's not even just from Paul! It's from his mother and father and other characters as well, each making various observations and sometimes delivering exposition via their thoughts shared in voiceover narration.

Character A: "Greetings, Character B."

Character B: "A pleasure, Character A."

Character A: (inner voice) "That special outfit indicates that this person is secretly working for our enemies."

I made this exchange up, but that's the vibe here and it's wild. It's shockingly frequent too! Directly sharing character thoughts like this is something I'm used to seeing only in older novels, comics, and anime, due to the strengths and limits of their mediums. Like, the last thing that I was watching with any "tell, don't show" device similar to this was probably "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure"! It's striking (not a compliment) when other live action film (including the most recent "Dune" films) tends to prefer using actors' expressions and body language to communicate certain "unspoken" ideas like suspicion or affection or awe, and to let other sweeping visuals and musical cues speak for themselves as well.

You can also just have the lights go out, zoom in on a character's face, and have them whisper aloud, "Sabotage!" if you need to be that blunt about it, rather than have us hear the character's thoughts directly. You can insert a conversation of "as you know" technobabble between characters if you really have to do hasty exposition.

I don't want to call this film style "bad" exactly, inherently. But it's more than a little confusing when some characters are a little telepathic(?) and lighting is dim, so I'm briefly unsure which characters actually heard certain lines.

And I do personally think this kind of heavy-handed bluntness generally undermines what can be achieved with acting, sound design, music, set design, prop design, costume design, and so on. And I also think that a degree of uncertainty for the audience can be good for tension anyway. These inner thoughts being shared in this film are generally not ideas that couldn't be communicated through acting, visuals, or direct dialogue between characters, so this choice by the film often feels redundant and clumsy to me. Let the actors do what they're good at! Good actors can often communicate their emotions and thoughts to us without words! Or they can at least stand there while a majestic musical score communicates to us the depths of the character's grief and determination.

Like, not every use of voiceover narration in film is a bad thing. It's a choice. Sometimes it works really well and sometimes it doesn't. Voiceover narration often gets used at the beginning of films because it's an efficient way to quickly convey a lot of exposition and set the tone of the story!

But this film seems like it has a bad case of "science fiction is obviously too confusing for movie audiences to follow just by watching the characters move through the world and interact with each other, so we had better hold their hand every step of the way via voiceover narration constantly overshadowing the acting and musical score". It's not really helping the story, in my opinion. It's not letting the film breathe. Though "showing" in storytelling is often preferable, "telling" in a story is not always bad, but damn, this is a LOT of "telling" for an audio-visual medium.

[gooselycharm]

hi there! i'd just like to say that your kris and noelle "something else" comic has been driving me insane /pos and i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on those two!! their relationship is one of my favorite things in deltarune and your comic just got everything about them so right 🙏

thank you for reading "something else"! oh man, [more of] my thoughts on kris+noelle.... i sure got some of those.

this was one of the first tweets i made after finishing chapter 2 nearly... freaking 2 years ago. and basically i've just been saying that over and over again in different ways because i'm still not tired of the concept yet and probably wont ever be LOL. i'm obsessed with how badly the narrative wants to force them into an easily categorizable dynamic, especially the romantic one in snowgrave. the literal THORN RING, the more possessive dialogue options, spamton calling noelle a side chick LOL... it all creates this unnerving visual novel bad end atmosphere that feels manufactured by someone who's only ever learned about romance through secondhand sources. they're two queer teens trying to navigate their changing relationship with the only role models they know being their parents' own failed heterosexual marriages. they're so divorced² (divorced children of divorce).

i also like that for being so tragically doomed coded they can be funny! both in a dark humor way and also like, genuinely funny, like the stories of them as kids with kris covering themselves in ketchup and hiding under noelle's bed lmao. i mean there's even something funny about the romantic trappings of the snowgrave route, like trying to put wedding cake embellishments on a crime scene... you know, funny like kids trying on their parents clothes but they're too big and for some reason they're also crying and covered in blood? um.

i'm also SOOOO interested to see how snowgrave will continue in chapter 3! i really liked the hopeful note chapter 2 ended on (well. i took it as hopeful anyway). there's that bit where noelle is talking to herself and she says something like "recently kris has been acting so strange and no one else has noticed... i have to figure out why" and then kris jumpscares her LOL but i think i took that one line and really ran with it. noelle really is the one who knows kris best and despite how scared she is, she's still determined to help them... i like the little subversion of victim/hero going on, the implication that kris might be the one who needs rescuing.

the additional story/lore that came with the spamton sweepstakes made me CRAAAZYYYYY like my GOD... it's cute that noelle likes glitches/creepypasta when kris is kinda a walking creepypasta <3 also, god, noelle falling asleep listening to kris playing piano in the other room... there's so much like. wistfulness and nostalgia and this like... distant/detached intimacy packed into how noelle narrates that scene. it's kind of funny how much there is to dig into when like on a surface level they're just fairly regular childhood friends who grew apart LMAO they're extremely deep to me okay...

on another note i guess i do ship them? i like their dynamic whether it's platonic or romantic (the best is a weird mix of both 👍). it just can't be boring LOL like... this is one ship where trying to apply cookie cutter tropes to them really falls flat and the game is ahead of you on that anyway. in terms of romantically shipping them, i honestly don't think they're doomed to repeat patterns forever... i think they could actually be good for each other! but that's not really the aspect of their relationship that interests me akldjf;alk;sdg maybe i will make 60 page comic of kriselle going to couples counseling some other time

ANYWAY i'm going to cut myself off here, because i really could go on forever lol. i'll give you some links for further reading though

hellspawnmotel's deltarune art

lula pillowbug99's deltarune art

this art by raspbearis which features prominently in my internal kriselle bible

my own unfinished kriselle playlist

my own essay on gender & allegory in deltarune if for some reason u are not tired of hearing me talk yet

okay bye now & thanks again for reading my comic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cbrownjc]

As an older fan, I’m starting to get some major Sherlock-vibes from the show, in the sense that fans are coming up with all these big-brained theories to explain weak writing that we have to have faith will come to fruition in some future season. Why make the change to Lestat saving Louis? Why is Louis seemingly stronger than Armand?  Why have the Loustat reunion, only for Louis to leave and challenge the entire vampire world (despite the fact that he’s apparently in a better place mentally-speaking)? Why publish under Daniel’s name, when that would clearly paint a target on his back, especially now that he’s a vampire? What’s going on with Daniel’s eyes?

The whole “spite” thing seems like a clear mis-direct, but with only like 8-ish episodes a season and Dubai-era Devil’s Minion being 100% subtext so far, I don’t think the writing team can do DM justice. All the inconsistencies seem like they’re being written off because it’s the unreliable narrator show, when they’re actually just plot holes.

Like…I 100% think the writing team forgot makers can’t telepathically talk to their fledglings, and that’s why they had to add in the throwaway line of Lestat actually whispering to Louis in 1x02. There was no hidden reason we were meant to find, it was just inconsistent internal logic justified because Louis can’t remember anything correctly.

IDK. I don’t want to be a downer, but a lot of my hype for the show just kinda fizzled out with the finale. I'm still gonna watch S3, but I think I'm just gonna wait til the whole thing comes out this time.

Hi!

So I never watched Sherlock nor was every in that fandom, though I did hear about some things after the fact. So I can't compare it to that fandom. But I can compare things to another book series that was being adapted fandom I was in which was Game of Thrones. And I think wrt things we are at least nowhere near that level of things and theorising. Yet.

Maybe because, unlike ASOIAF all the VC books are written and done. So that's a plus.

And see, the thing is? I can actually see a lot of methods to the madness of some of the things you've listed. Especially given the nature of how the story in the show is told through POVs. Where the issue comes into it is not ever knowing if what you are seeing is true, false, or just an interpretation of the truth -- as in Louis' POV of the play-trial rehearsal.

And I'd really like to know if how they ended this season is how they plan to end every season when a full book has been adapted? Something that wraps up the main character arc and story, but just leaves a host of other questions that, if we weren't getting a Season 3, would have never been answered. And who knows if they will all be answered in Season 3? As far as Devil's Minion goes, or Armand himself, I'm not expecting it to be now, given that Season 3 is The Vampire Lestat adaptation and Armand is a straight-up villain/antagonist in that book and Daniel doesn't appear in it at all, so anything we get with him will be extra anyway.

Now, as to whether Rolin Jones and the writers have a plan, Rolin says he pitched an 8-Season (or so) Arc to AMC before he was given the show to run. So at the moment? That is the only solid thing we have to go on right now wrt if there actually IS a play or not for the show.

But see (and oh boy, please forgive me as am I about to go into a big digression here), plotting a TV show is much harder to do than a book or a movie. TV writing is way more organic given that unforeseen circumstances can occur that you've never planned for when you go into a new season of TV production. Such as the studio asking you to split the first book you're adapting into 2 seasons instead of one, leaving you with only a month to rewrite the scripts. Or, a writer's strike and then an actors' strike a few weeks later, delaying production for months. Both of which happened to IWTV wrt Season 1 and then Season 2.

So organic things beyond the show's control are why it is much harder to plan out every little detail of a TV show in advance over multiple seasons. Take another AMC show, Breaking Bad. It's known that Season 2 of that show was intricately plotted out in advance but then, after that, the writers plotted and wrote the rest of the show as things came along for the remaining seasons, with no grand design to it -- even though the creator of the show, Vince Gilligan, knew way in advance how the show was going to end. And the show was able to get there, to that ending, without having a meticulous plan over seasons on how to do so.

I mean, the character of Jesse on Breaking Bad was originally supposed to die at the end of the first season. But instead, he lived through the whole damn thing. That was not planned at all.

And I think that might very well be the situation we have going here wrt IWTV. I think there are larger things they already know in advance about the show -- which books out of all of them will adapted into full stories vs which will only get references. Which characters in the show will make it into the show as full characters vs which characters will either be cut or combined with other existing characters (as Sam Ried revealed in his interview with Autumn Brown that that is going to happen -- that some characters will be combined with others). And what end point they want each of the main four characters -- Louis, Lestat, Armadn, and Daniel -- to be at when they get to at least Season 8. (If not Season 10, which is what AMC wants, 10 seasons). I think those are things Rolin and the writers very much know.

But I don't think the show has every single little detail plotted out for every little thing wrt how they are going to get to certain things. Not super far in advance at any rate.

I do think they'll purposefully put in seeds for later -- that they very much know they are going to need later -- though I think at most they do it one season ahead if it's a little thing. I very much do think that is what the things from episodes 1x02 and 1x03 very much were, since Season 1 and 2 were supposed to just be one season originally. Or the fight in 1x05 only being shown from Claudia's POV. I think that was also deliberate and they are very much planning on visiting it once again in Season 3, as they did in Season 2.

But I also think there are some things the show has not plotted way in advance and only figured out when they are writing that particular episode. Or maybe just decided to do that season as they were writing it, and not before then. Just like how almost every other TV show works, even ones that might very well know the ending they are working toward.

So I in no way think the show has figured and plotted out every single moment and beat of Armand and Daniel's relationship. Why? Not only because much of it happened in the past -- which yes I very much still think it did -- which covers 12 years of time, but because if you look at this clip, Rolin Jones kind of hints that they haven't plotted it out completely point for point even though there are some things they've thought and figured out:

video credit: Rei Gorrei on Twitter

So as far as Devil's Minion goes, I think Rolin and Co -- mostly Rolin -- has an endpoint for it in mind. But how they get to that endpoint is probably not planned out to the letter, super far in advance. And something they very likely just come up with as they are writing that particular season. At most? I'd say they've put things in this season that will be relevant next season and that's it.

So, I'm not going to say they can't do it justice. Not yet. I frankly don't have enough data to call that in a yes or no fashion since we haven't seen anything adapted from it aside from the 3-4 days Daniel spent in a cage, which is just the very start of how Devil's Minion begins. Basically one or two paragraphs. That's all they've really adapted when it comes to it at the moment.

And hey, it's okay if you feel down about all of this. If it helps, I'd say try and take a pragmatic approach to the show season by season, and if you feel it's better to binge it than watch it episode by episode for a time, that's good too. This is going to be a long journey after all.

[a-forger-and-a-point-man]

Oppenheimer / immediate thoughts

ok nolan fans let's talk, i just got back.

i am very well acquainted with 20th century american history but i did not do any additional research on oppenheimer the man or the trinity test because i wanted to be surprised by the movie's narrative and imagery, so keep that in mind as you read. i'm not fact-checking for the time being... i want to go do my own reading at my leisure when it's not past midnight.

DON'T GO SEE IT IN IMAX. SAVE YOUR MONEY AND A HEADACHE. it's not inception or dunkirk or the batman films or interstellar. just go to your local theater or wait until it's available to stream. trust me on this. i'll explain why in the spoilers section below.

YOU'RE BEING WARNED. SPOILERS AHEAD.

-this was the least nolan-y film that nolan has ever made. i see more of following in it (his very first film) than i do any other project. it was definitely a bit of a different direction for him.

-this is basically a biopic of sorts about oppenheimer. it's not about the war nor is it really about the bomb. it's about an awkward, conflicted, and possibly mentally ill physics genius who seems to not know how to do much in life beyond quantum physics theory. like yes, he's got a brilliant mind, but he's far from a well-rounded, impressive human being. the guy was a hot mess long before anyone mentioned the word bomb.

-taking that into consideration, i can see how the suffering of humans (whether the navajo nation in new mexico, or the japanese people) doesn't play a role in the film. japanese victims are mentioned, but briefly in one scene. that doesn't make any of this right. in fact a more entertaining, eye-opening, and timely film should have included more of both - but i see now that nolan wanted to focus on ONE man and cillian is indeed in practically every. single. scene.

-cillian should be nominated for an oscar and win it.

-humans are very complex and you CAN both build the bomb AND feel bad about it, yes it's entirely possible and normal, but the film is still 3 hours of white guilt. i'm openly saying it. the reason you shouldn't see it in imax is because it's 3 hours of middle aged white men sitting around making terrible decisions. it's SO MUCH TALKING, jesus.

-IMAX cameras are stupidly loud, which is why most filmmakers don't use them. you can't hear dialogue. they're for action scenes. so that very much explains why i was just ITCHING for subtitles on this. so many different accents and everyone mumbling and the score was louder than their voices and ARGHHH nolan why.

-female characters are unremarkable and underused. i know nolan and i know how he uses female characters. at this point i'm convinced he just doesn't know how to write them, and he can only work with male-driven stories and you know what... fine. it is what it is. unless he brings female writers on board, nothing will change, because he can't do it himself.

-why are there sudden bare tiddies in a nolan film. fanboys, did u love it? did u get what u wanted? was that it? finally, a sex scene in a nolan film? it added nothing and i could argue it took some things away. sorry folks. entirely unnecessary.

-ok THE BEST PART was the surprise cameos. cillian was in every scene and yet he was the least famous person among big oscar winners sometimes! it was wild! i was internally screaming at gary oldman as harry truman. excellent choice to play him like the clown he was. AND EINSTEIN??? did y'all catch that or no??? i knew it right away from the voice and the kind eyes. it's the GUY FROM THE PIT IN THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. he helps bruce recover, and narrates the ascent of "the child". terrific casting! and i haven't checked IMDB yet, but is borden (not named after the character from the prestige!) played by the arkham patient from the dark knight? the one who gets shot in the leg and interrogated by harvey dent?? tell me i am recognizing the right guy! and then we had matthew modine... casey affleck... rami malek who appeared for like 3 mins maybe?! AND Y'ALL, JOSH HARTNETT????????????????? OMG my biggest crush when i was 15. that was craaaazy. but i do like seeing nolan bring back his friends... it's very much a nolan circle as we all know. and once you're in it, you're in it!

-the use of sound was VERY GOOD. the explosion actually being silent, because light reaches us before sound? but also the way the buildup was so intense and so hyped up and then just.... complete silence to reflect on the monstrosity being produced, and how nothing will be the same.

-there was a lot of train sounds to emphasize the railroad, but also... anyone notice that the stomping noise in oppenheimer's head almost felt like a train was coming through? TELL ME YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT COBB'S GUILTY CONSCIENCE IN INCEPTION, and how a train would ram through the dream. nolan doing an homage to himself is absolutely hysterical and i am here for it i guess.

-i'm not sure how audiences abroad will feel about all the scenes in washington with congressional testimony. does that stuff carry over well? do you get the references? it's such inside baseball, i know, and it adds so much time to the film, and yet MORE scenes with middle aged white men talking. i could have done with less of the black and white "present day" scenes and more about the impact of the bomb, or maybe more about kitty's life and how she overcame her (presumed?) alcoholism and depression.

-the casual discussion about the 11 cities shortlisted to drop the atomic bomb "but not kyoto because of its cultural importance" made people laugh in the theater as intended, but honestly like... nothing in the movie is funny. it's really heavy stuff and i still stand by the fact that the bomb should never have been produced, despite what oppenheimer and others tried to say. because even its production is incredibly dangerous. it's not just about where you fucking drop it.

-did i mention there is too much matt damon. like, too much.

-rami malek is the only person of color with a speaking role in this film. that's right.

-ok what else guys??? i wanna hear thoughts. there's a lot more but i'm so tired at this hour

[signoraviolettavalery]

Recap of the Damon Baker event/meet-and-greet (surprised no one's posted about this yet!)

So this was a launch of Damon's new perfume, and it involved a brief Q&A with him in front of an audience in an auditorium tucked away in Harrod's (which is a maze), where they served mocktails and the most delicious chocolate I've ever had.

After the Q&A, everybody who came got a brief meet-and-greet with Damon, where he'd also take your photo and do a selfie with you. There was also a chance to buy his perfume (you got a 20 pound discount for getting the ticket to the event), and do note that the 'regular' perfume costs the same as the exclusive version that comes with a notebook that includes some of Damon's photos and writing in his "handwriting." And, if you bought the perfume, he would also happily sign anything you wanted.

He is more beautiful in person. I know it's hard to believe because photos of him are stunning, but. He's more beautiful in person. I can't even. I was in the front row and I almost gasped.

He talked about the origin of the perfume - how when he lived in LA, he had bad anxiety, and when he was doing photoshoots he'd get overwhelmed, and a friend would rub oil on him, and the scent calmed him. That's where the idea for this came from, and he still sometimes sprays a scent on a journal when he's journaling. So the idea is, you can spray this perfume on anything, journals, yourself, etc. wherever you want the scent.

Since it's supposed to be calming/soothing, he put a lot of scents that reminded him of his childhood, such as rhubarb.

The first scent that he ever really noticed and fell in love with is.....leather. (He seemed to think this would be obvious and we would guess this)

Have y'all seen pics of what he looked like. He was stunning. Three-piece striped suit without a white shirt under it and black and white nails, all monochrome like his perfume. And boots with heels! (I am, as usual, so much shorter than him)

When it was my turn, he came up to say hello. he calls everybody "love" and is so sweet. I told him how much I loved his photos and how much everybody's waiting meant to me. He also mentioned he loves hearing the boys speak slovenian and thinks it sounds so beautiful. I said "I agree, tell them to write more songs in Slovenian" and he said "I will."

After we connected over Everybody's Waiting, he put it on during my photoshoot! He's so, so calming and soothing, I have no words to describe it. He tells you to close your eyes, breathe in, breathe ou, and open your eyes and look at the camera when you're ready. I've never felt more comfortable or secure in front of the camera than I did then. I absolutely understand how he does his magic and gets photos like that. He just makes you feel so safe.

He gave me a hug after, after asking if he could (what a gentleman!!)

We also did a selfie (he asked if he could put his arm around me!) and, since his vest didn't have a shirt under it, apologized for flashing a nipple while he put his arm around me. (me, internally: it's okay I've seen a lot of Bojan tits I'm unfazed)

there is also a photo booth in Harrod's where you can take some photos that it'll print out for you; when you start it, there's a little video damon narrates to tell you to relax and breathe in/out and look at the camera and ahhhhhhh I did that on my last day and he's so perfect

[prince-liest]

I feel like this is a risky question but if you don’t want to answer you know what to do. Reading 666 I questioned so many things on love and relationships that I’d already started to question before, but not to such extent. Inevitably this led to a talk with my psychologist (you know how people joke “my therapist will hear about you” well yeah that happened) and asked her what’s the difference between romantic and platonic love if we exclude social expectations. To this she replied it’s sexual chemistry you can have with more than one person, and nothing more. Beside that, it’s technically still just “platonic”. The more I think about it the more sense it makes. In which case, I wanna ask if you agree as an aroace, and in the terms of 666 does that technically mean Alastor loves Vox in that sense? I think you’ve said before he wouldn’t go as far with anyone else, so I guess I’m asking you if he feels genuine sexual chemistry with him, because I do have a hard time figuring that out while reading (unreliable narrator is my enemy) and most of the time I’m even more confused than Vox is on how much Alastor is enjoying anything sex related

I have a couple of things to say about this one, haha. It was interesting to think about, and I'm admittedly more delighted than I should be that I've made it into someone's therapy session, hahaha.

Firstly, I disagree with your psych about how to define romantic love and I think the same would go for a ton of people both aro and allo. "Friends with benefits" is a known concept that is different from "romantic partner" for a reason, and I don't think we'd have so many "we started out friends with benefits but, oh no, we caught feelings down the line, how unexpected!" romance plotlines if friends with benefits was the same thing as a romance apart from social expectations. Also, this way of describing non-platonic love makes it impossible for non-aro ace people to love romantically purely by definition, and I think many non-aro ace folks would disagree with that.

Secondly, Alastor isn't sexually attracted to Vox in 666 regardless. He enjoys the things they do, which is very different. Not to get too clinical about it, but he doesn't even tend to experience sexual arousal unless they're getting up to the very specific type of acts that he's personally into, which is why every time Alastor is taking on the dominant role his internal narration is pretty much just going on about wanting to eat Vox whole - it's entirely a non-sexual sadism thing for him, even if Vox is still getting off. It's possible to enjoy sexual activities for reasons other than sexual gratification, and that's about 80% of what Alastor gets out of their encounters.

If you want to see what it looks like when I write from the POV of a character who is sexually attracted to their partner as a point of comparison, I recommend reading How to Bag an Angel: Take That, Depression! and then contrasting that to Alastor's internal narrative in the 666 chapter where he fucks Vox. But as a straight answer, I write Alastor as a character who sometimes gets off on being forced into submission/humiliation, and not really all that much else.

I think defining romantic vs platonic feelings can be very personal, and both psychologists and philosophers have been trying to do it for ages, so it's something that you kind of have to define for yourself - but that's my view on it as pertains to this fic, at least! I hope that was helpful!

[scythesms]

Reading Rosalyn’s favorite book wasn’t enough to keep her grounded. Edmund’s narration got lost in the internal pain she desperately tried to ignore. Her attention faltered with every turn of a page.

“I’m tired, dear,” Rosalyn spoke softly. Her throat was too sensitive to emit a volume any higher.

Edmund quickly closed the book and rose from his chair. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

“No.”

“Sleep will do you good, Rosalyn.”

“All I do is sleep. Sleep will come. Keep me company until then.”

Edmund sat beside her on the bed. She used as much strength as she could to take his hand. He frowned. “You look unwell.”

“For once, let’s not discuss my dreadful condition,” she pleaded. “Anything else will do.” 

Rosalyn was well aware of her state and frustrated with the illness that wouldn’t release her from its shackles - tempting her with proximity to full recovery before pulling her back just when she could fantasize about a future with her family. Days ago, the manor granted her hope. Today, she could barely lift her head. 

Her swollen eyes were too heavy to keep open. The soreness of her throat overlapped with its prickliness, triggering painful coughs every so often. Her skin beaded with sweat while she shivered. As much as she wanted to sit up, her shoulders weighed her down and her head pulsed with a constant ache. All considered, she did not need further reminders of how poorly she looked and felt. She was miserable and talking to her husband allowed her a momentary escape.

Edmund watched her eyes dart from him to the ceiling as she shivered, trying to pull herself away from her misery. His hand tightened around hers. “What do you suggest we talk about?”

Rosalyn closed her eyes for a moment, wincing as she swallowed. “I know-” She exhaled. “I know I wasn’t the most welcoming during our introduction… It’s childish, but-” She paused when a shiver passed. “When did you first come to like me?”

Edmund would’ve chuckled at the question if not for the circumstances they were under. Answering her would distract him, as well. “I’ve always liked you, as much as I didn’t want to. I admired your charm and composure - less of your wit, at first. But I don’t think I accepted the fact until that night we danced in the parlor.”

Rosalyn weakly smiled. “I knew it.”

“You did.” He stared down at her with affection. “You’ve always known more than I did… The first time we spoke, you told me my love for you was inevitable. You were so definitive, so frustrating… and right in the end.”

The back of her head sunk deeper into her pillow as the strength that kept her awake wore out. She looked to the ceiling before returning her focus to him. Quieter than moments before, she asked, “Do you?”

“Do I?”

“Love me.”

Edmund sat in bewilderment. Why would she ask such a thing?

Her eyes shut, too tired to fight to keep them open, and as if reading his mind, she whispered, “I want to hear you say it.”

He was quiet for a second, thinking over her request. He wondered if she’d questioned his love for her, before, or if her tiredness simply clouded her judgment. Of course, he loved her. She knew it. He knew she did. The love he felt for her transcended his love for all else and the possibility of her not knowing pained him.

“I love you, Rosalyn. You know I do.”

Edmund sat in wait for a response when he noticed the cease of her shivers and strained breaths, as well as the fall of her limp hand. He reached for her with tears in his eyes. “You have to know I love you.”

As long as he waited for her to respond, she never did.

previous ➺ next

[lovemyromance]

I really hate this rhetoric of antis saying Elain only starts to feel better and snaps out of her depressive state in ACOWAR when Lucien gets there.

*fair warning this is a super long and chaotic post so please bear with me*

For one, it really just shows how they don't understand basic POVs or choose to ignore it. Lucien is not the catalyst to Elain's clarity, he didn't do anything for her when he got there.

His presence was not at all wanted by Elain. He made her uncomfortable. Even Nesta could recognize that and she snarled every time he tried to go near her sister.

From a strictly logical writing perspective, the reason you see correlation between Elain starting to feel better and Feyre & Lucien's arrival in the NC in ACOWAR... is because the story is literally told from Feyre's point of view!!?

How in the seven hells would we as readers even know about Elain's depressive state let alone her feeling better if Feyre (our narrator) isn't there? We don't see how bad it is unless Feyre sees it. We don't see it improving unless Feyre witnesses it.

The fact that Elain starts to recover after Feyre's arrival makes sense because how else would we know if the story is being told through Feyre's point of view?

Feyre notices Lucien try to talk to Elain. She also notices how uncomfortable her sister is around her mate. She immediately voices "What if the cauldron was wrong", questions if it's possible to reject the bond and now that makes her an unreliable narrator?

You know what Feyre also notices?

When Majda says "A mate should be able to sense something amiss."

And they bring in Lucien - here's your big moment my dude, tell us how to help her - and he does nothing. He could sense the bond but he couldn't sense anything about Elain. Certainly not enough to tell what was amiss.

The most he ever did was say "She needs fresh air." Not, as the antis would have you believe, sunlight. He says she needs fresh. air. After a long internal monologue how she's been cooped up in her room for far too long.

Also, Azriel wasn't even present to hear Lucien say that. But the moment he carried her (bridal style, but who's keeping notes?) to the townhouse, he offers to show her the garden.

And he was the one to figure out Elain was a Seer.

And people keep yapping "Oh he figured out what Elain's powers were that's not what was wrong with her. Her powers are not WRONG. Rhys figured out Nesta's powers. Oh he just wanted a new weapon for the NC." Stop that. You look like clowns 🤡.

He figured out her powers. And she got better. Her powers inherently were not wrong, but but she was being assaulted with visions she did not ask for nor understand. Poor girl probably thought she was hallucinating and going crazy. It was what was wrong with her. The fact that she had all these crazy visions, and she did not know what was happening.

The second Azriel figures out her powers, Elain immediately feels better. Don't believe me? Look at the text:

(+ bonus of the High Lady observing another way Elriel makes sense)

Also, you know what is Especially, Really, Super Interesting? When Lucien tries to help and says "she needs fresh air".

Nesta immediately says "We'll judge what she needs."

But then -

Later, after the attack in the library, Elain tells them about the other cursed queen. Even Nesta is tired, not ready to hear her "crazy talk". Lucien asks "should we-does she need.." looking to figure out if they should help her.

But Azriel? He is the first person to listen to her. Not Nesta, Not Feyre, certainly not Lucien. He asks her a question, treats her like normal and asks "What other?"

He knew. Somehow - he figured out she was a Seer. He knew she would like to sit in the garden. He knew she doesn't need anything.

And y'all can debate all you want. But he figured it out when her mate could not. He understood what Elain needed, without her having to say it.

Also, antis always like to use the excuse of "we don't know what's going on with Elucien, we'll know more in their POV" but then with their whole chest, like to say how Azriel didn't at all help Elain before Feyre was there.

How. Do. You. Know. That?

Feyre = Narrator. No narrator present = we don't know what happened! It's simple? You can't make that point with such confidence if you don't know.

You also can't say "Oh why didn't she get better without Feyre and why didn't Azriel figure it out before?" Because why tf would SJM write such an important part of her plot off page, without our narrator (Feyre) being there to witness it?? What tells a greater story:

Readers being witness to the depressive state of Elain, her confusion, her ramblings, then Azriel figuring out she's a Seer and she immediately gets better

OR

Readers apparently come to know that while Feyre was out, Elain went crazy depressive but now she's fine because Azriel figured out she's a Seer now (whatever that means) don't worry? Why even mention it then? That would be 2 paragraphs of text vs. multiple chapters. Where would be the drama, the intrigue?

Come on people. Please stop with the reaches. It is getting very tiring how you are twisting canon moments and being flat out incorrect with canon to prove your weak points.

Like, one of the Eluciens biggest argument is about "Elain saying she needs sunshine" and Lucien saying "She needs the sun." When he literally does not say that? He says she needs fresh air. Sure he is the Heir to Day Court, but he's not the HL yet. He doesn't even know that yet. His symbolism has always been flames, not sunshine.

Why should we take anything seriously when their "canon backed evidence" is wrong?

Also just as a fun little ending to this super chaotic post: here's a cutesy snippet I found in ACOWAR about Azriel's shadows when he calms himself down (aka them disappearing is also not bad for the millionth time)

The shadows lightened ... into sunshine.

But please, keep talking about how Elain needs the sun and Azriel needs someone to handle his darkness and yada yada yada. 🫶🏼🫶🏼