#I just wanted to make a huge ass post that detailed all my replies to every single um actually out there

[yunhoee]

Synopsis: Living post grad can be tough, especially when most of your friends are just entering their senior year. Your best friend invites you to play a practice game, but there couldn't possibly be ulterior motives could there?

Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader

Genre: non idol!au, soccer player!jongho, soccer player!reader, mainly fluff, suggestive

Wordcount: 2.6k

Note: This was originally a one-shot, but I may write more! Please let me know what you think :)

It’s a wild Friday night. Pajamas are on, you have your favorite comfort show on, and a bucket of ice cream all to yourself. You are casually scrolling through social media. A lot of your friends have moved back in for their final year of college. You graduated the year before them, which at the time you were thrilled to be done. Now seeing them all go back without you hurts. You were the captain of your soccer team, and seeing your teammates prepare for the indoor season without you is a little bit of a bummer. 

You were able to land a corporate job, which you are of course grateful for. Most days are spent alone considering you work from home. You can’t deny the depression that is starting to creep back in. Your phone dings and you smile at the photo that your best friend, Lauren, sends you. The photo shows a smiling Lauren with the rest of your team, and you can see part of the men’s team trying to get into their photo. You chuckle and heart the photo in imessage. You can’t deny the pain you feel knowing you won’t be there this season. 

Turning up your show to try to drown out the sadness seems like the best idea. Until your phone goes off again. 

“You better not be moping all alone right now. We miss you.”

Lauren always has a sense for whenever you’re feeling sad. Something you love and hate about her. Mostly love. 

Nah. I’m at a huge corporate rager. Drunk off my ass, might go home with someone.

Lauren replies almost immediately.

“Okay now I’m actually worried. Why don’t you play in our practice scrimmage tomorrow? The boys have an unfair advantage, so we need all the help we can get.”

You roll your eyes.

Don’t you think that would be a little pathetic? And what unfair advantage could they possibly have? You stomp them at every scrimmage.

As you wait for a response you think about joining your old team. I mean it is just a practice game, and it’s not like you have anything better to do. The exercise would be nice.

“Are you kidding? The team would be thrilled. We miss you all the time :(. The unfair advantage would be Marcus’ friend that is in town. They went to elementary school together when Marcus lived in Korea, and well he’s fucking incredible at soccer.”

You sigh and try not to think too much about your answer. Maybe just going with the flow will work out for me this one time.

Damn all you had to say was Marcus and I’m in. I can’t wait to see his face when we win. Just text me the details and I’ll be there.

Lauren sent you a voice memo of her and the rest of the girls screaming in excitement. You laugh and then start to get ready for bed. The scrimmage is at 9am so you need to make sure you get plenty of sleep. 

Tomorrow comes and before you know it, you’re at the fieldhouse. You’re not sure why you were so nervous because the girls give you an enormous warm welcome. Lauren forces you to start stretching and warming up early since it’s been a few months since you’ve played. As you and Lauren are warming up together, you notice she has the biggest smirk on her face.

“Why are you smiling like that?”, You ask.

Lauren giggles, “Don’t hate me. We obviously needed you to beat the boy’s team, but I also had a bit of a side quest.”

You narrow your eyes, “What are you up to?”

Lauren says, “Well Marcus’ friend is super hot and good at soccer. I thought maybe you guys could get to know each other.”

“This was a set up?!” You gasp.

Lauren hushes you, “No one else knows. Even if you don’t want him to be your boyfriend, it could be a fun hookup. Just trust me on this.”

You roll your eyes, “Whatever. He better not be ugly.”

Lauren laughs as the two of you continue to warm up. You can’t deny the butterflies you feel at the idea of this mystery man. Lauren has never been wrong before, so you’re just hoping you can muster up enough courage to be yourself. 

“Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in”

You immediately know who the voice belongs to. You turn and can’t help but smile.

“I’m not admitting that I missed you”, You say with your hands on your hips.

Marcus laughs and opens his arms. You both embrace until Marcus tries to squeeze the life out of you.

“Okay! Are you trying to squeeze me to death?!” You shout as you wiggle out of his embrace. 

Marcus smiles, “I missed you.”

Lauren interrupts, “Okay okay enough with the flirting, Marcus.”

Marcus recognizes someone behind you, “Over here, Jongho!”

You all turn to see the man that Marcus was calling over. Fuck Lauren was right, he’s gorgeous. He gives your group the cutest smile you’ve ever seen and jogs over to your group. 

Lauren whispers to you, “You’re drooling.”

You lightly smack Lauren’s arm and try not to keep staring at Jongho.

“Alright everyone! This is Jongho. We met when I lived in Korea and he’s here to stomp your asses.” Marcus says as he wraps his arm around Jongho’s shoulder.

Lauren rolls her eyes and puts her arm around you, “Well, Jongho, this is y/n and she’s here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

You are giggling at Lauren when you finally make eye contact with Jongho. He is smiling brightly at you. You’re unable to hide the slight blush that appears on your cheeks. A burst of confidence comes through you. 

“Yeah sorry you came all this way just to have your ass handed to you” You say with a smirk. 

The teams are laughing and you can’t bring yourself to look away from Jongho. The sexual tension is undeniable. He steps closer to you and you refuse to back down from eye contact, even when you have to look up to meet his eyeline.

Jongho looks down at you flirtatiously, “You’re a mouthy one aren’t you. I like that.”

He walks towards his side of the field, the rest of the boys follow after him. While you’re momentarily frozen in your spot. You can’t believe someone as beautiful as him said that to you. 

Lauren drags you back to your side of the field while you continually thank her for making you come. She continues to nod her head with that ‘I told you so’ look. You can’t even argue with her because she was oh so right.  

Your team is huddled and hyping each other up. You are all in agreement that you must win this scrimmage no matter what. Even though it’s only a practice game. You will be in your favorite position, center defender. Lauren let you know that Jongho is a forward, so you will definitely be seeing him. Your team all put your hands together.

Before you can break you tell them, “Not one of his balls will get past me.”

Your team cheers and breaks. As you walk to your position, you’re shaking yourself out. You can’t decide if it’s because it’s been awhile since you played or because you’re nervous as fuck. Either way, Jongho is not getting past you. 

For the first 10 minutes you wonder when you will get to play. Both teams are so hyped up that it was really just a battle of the forwards and midfielders for a while. This was good because you were able to watch Jongho in action and see how he plays. Unfortunately for you he is incredible, so this will definitely be a tough match. 

Jongho is the first one to slip through the midfielders and he is barreling right towards you with the ball. You take a deep breath and immediately go into action. He attempts to side step you, but you step directly in front of him and kick the ball between his legs. Jongho wasn’t prepared for you to be able to disable him so quickly that he didn’t have time to slow his body down. The force causes Jongho to fall, bringing you down with him. You immediately jump back up, only to sag in relief when you see Lauren is on the other side of the field with the ball.

“Are you okay?!” You see a frantic Jongho searching all over you to make sure he didn’t cause you harm.

You laugh, “I’m fine. Better luck next time.”

You can see that Jongho is taken aback by you. He wasn’t expecting you to be so incredibly good at defense, and also not afraid to put yourself directly in his path. He can’t help but admire you, but he will also not be misjudging you again. 

Before leaving, he can’t help but brush the few hairs that are in your face out of the way. He tucks them behind your ear, and then runs off to the other side of the field. Leaving you there speechless, and furiously blushing. 

As the game continues, the girls are not backing down. The score is 1-0, with Lauren being able to score because you got the ball from Jongho. You had a few more run-ins with different people on the other team, but none of them were able to get past you. With only a minute left, you can feel a flip of the switch for everyone on the field. The girls, desperate to defend and keep their advantage. The boys, desperate for one goal.

You can feel all the attention is on you. You are the reason they can’t score. You continue your breathing techniques as Jongho makes a beeline for the goal. Needing to get past you, he has three different guys running with him. As they go down the field they’re passing it to one another, in an attempt to confuse you. The three of them are now running side by side and passing it between each other. 

They reach you and the fight begins. You get the ball from one of the guys and attempt to kick it, but Jongho blocks you. You are trying to get the ball back when he passes it to another teammate that you didn’t see. He was further away so you start sprinting right at him, but right before you get to him he kicks it far. You hold your breath while watching the ball soar right to Jongho. Who happened to be right by the goal box. 

You immediately take off towards him, your other defender doing her best. He’s able to fake her out and make it past her, as she falls to the ground. Jongho is lining up his shot, and you know the only way to stop him is to slide to the ball. He doesn’t see you coming up behind him, and right as he’s about to kick the ball his feet are taken out under him. Since he was so close to the ball, you had to risk a slide tackle. The ball went right to your goalie as you planned and the buzzer went off. 

You are laying on your side breathing heavily as you hear the rest of your teammates screaming in victory. You turn over and see Jongho laying right behind you with his hands on his head in defeat. 

You sit up, “Are you okay?” 

Jongho looks at you and smiles, “You really weren’t kidding. I thoroughly just got my ass handed to me.”

Jongho sits up as you two begin to laugh. Even after the intense game and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to move later, the chemistry is undeniable. 

Jongho picks up one of your hands, “Would you let me take you on a date? You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

You blush and begin to laugh, “Even after I slide tackled you?”

Jongho smiles, “Yeah. I’ve met my match, and now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop thinking about you.”

It’s your turn to fix his hair. 

“Let’s get you checked out by the trainer first, and then we can see about that date.” 

[olderthannetfic]

What you mentioned, about the shift to phones and how it affects the ease of writing good content..

"Consuming writing can still be easy, depending on formatting and such, but posting a long, detailed reply often isn’t."

Do you have any more thoughts/posts on that? I tried searching through your blog with similar keywords, but didn't find anything, and it seems to me like you're onto something very important here

--

I can never find anything on my blog either. Haha.

The internet is more accessible now, which is good. I do like that and want to highlight it, even if it has come with some big downsides.

Back in the day, most people were logging on from desktop computers and real keyboards. That's a huge barrier to entry for multiple reasons, but one of the good things it does produce is that a person is often there for more in-depth interactions rather than for a high volume of low-impact ones. If they're touch typing on a real keyboard, it's a lot easier and faster to produce the kinds of long-ass replies I write on here. I've even bought multiple portable bluetooth keyboards because I'm such a fast touch typist and typing on phones or even the ipad keyboard interface is so infuriating. There are certainly people who type much faster on phones than I do, but the top speeds one can achieve that way are still slow compared to good touch typing.

If you're standing in line somewhere, dicking around on your phone, you can read fic if the site adapts properly to phone screen width. You might be reading something just as in-depth and interesting as anybody ever did: fiction, journal article, whatever. If you've got a decent memory, you can use little bits of spare time during the day to make it through something quite complex. Or something long and escapist. Whatever.

But when it comes time to type a response? I think a lot of people either opt for the bon mot, which can take time to compose but not much to type, or they think "I'll get back to that later when I'm at my computer". And the bon mot is clever, but it's rarely nuanced.

If you're more of a phone native, seeing well-crafted writing and not much in the way of comments and discussion furthers the already strong Content Creator-Audience divide. That's the default form of internet culture lately, whereas in the 90s, it was more about DIY communities with more and less talented/famous/popular members. Let's not pretend there weren't popularity contests even then, but things were still different in terms of one pool with a sliding scale vs. two separate kinds of people.

I think a person can write good content on a phone just like they can in all sorts of adverse circumstances. But the more natural way to use a phone a lot of the time is to scroll through things or continue reading something you're in the middle of. These are activities that make sense when your bus ride is only 20 minutes or you've got 5 minutes before class or you're standing in line at a store. Typing something long or using voice to text or whatever isn't really the most natural use of that time no matter how good a writer you are.

I also find, personally, that composing takes more concentration, quiet, and privacy on average than consuming. I can read a fic or knit a few rows on something I'm already working on just about anywhere, but if I want to write fic or cut out and sew up a big pattern, I need quiet time at home, and that's much harder to come by.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

okay so you've written a lot already about javid wartime letters. the people (me) want to know what you think about post canon era love letters and javid. if you want to share?

I don't actually know a ton about the late 1800s/early 1900s (the WWII obsession comes from what is probably some form of undiagnosed mental illness, rather than a general wealth of knowledge, but i digress)

but good GOD i am obsessed with this idea now????

Because the thing about Javid--and like, a huge part of why we're all so feral through COUNTLESS iterations of them--is that they're good friends, they just click. And something about the people you click with is that you just want to BE with them, you just want to TALK to them??? You know???

So like. Letters. (i'm not making any sense but bear with me, rabbit with me, all the other animals with me) My brain is already cooking up The Scenarios. and sorry but they are your problem now

Davey is the guy really good at convincing people to join the cause, he's got the Mouth wbk but when it comes to his feelings??? (Honestly, we don't even see him verbalize them that much in the show?? He literally just shakes his head and walks away after the rally and then the next time we see him all is well) Idk maybe he's better at writing them down, just word vomiting because it's not like a persuasive essay, where it's very structured and organized and you can list reasons??? And feelings don't always Make Sense and i can see Davey Taking Issue with that lmao. SO MAYBE Davey secretly writes letters to Jack--never meant to be seen by the light of day--it gets into the wrong hands somehow idk don't ask me about logistics, and one day he just gets a reply like a letter in his mail FROM JACK and it goes on from there and they're writing these letters to each other but Don't Talk About It and there's Tension and don't ask me for details all i have is Vibes

The second Scenario i have devised in my head is: Davey goes off to college somewhere far away and Jack is like "bitch if you forget about me i will end your ass" so Davey sends letters from college and Davey's something of a poet himself and Jack's like "wow i really miss Davey. I forgot how smart he is. I wish he was here. he's so handsome. Oh Shit"

The last Scenario in my head is where they start writing letters to each other because of canon-era-typical homophobia and in a way it's safer than them being seen Together All The Time and they're just so in love is DISGUSTING and yeAh

This was convoluted as hell, my bad, but overall: VERY MUCH IN FAVOR OF LETTER WRITING IN GENERAL LIKE HELL YEAH LETS IMMORTALIZE OUR LOVE IN INK THAT WILL LONG OUTLAST US

also. I just like hearing them Talk To Each Other ya know?? ANYWHO if you have thoughts about it I too would b eincredibly interested 👀

[httpiastri]

JACKIE YOU GOT IT RIGHT OMG but now i’ve just been made really curious as to which part of that previous ask gave it away (was it the 2022 mention? that would kinda make sense, i think)

the synchronicities with pepe are all insane?? some of mine are just outright weird but like even your pokemons situation is so cool because it all makes me feel so 😵‍💫🌟💫 because i love knowing that everything and everyone is interwoven and connected yk? and about pepe being represented by a lotus flower… honestly pepe has surprised me sm since i first found out about him because sometimes he just ends up liking certain things i don’t expect him to all because he’s a driver and stuff like if he ended up being secretly spiritual with little good luck rituals or whatever i wouldn’t be surprised anymore and i LOVE that about him (i also love him)

and AAAAAAA omg the pepe shaving blurb had me feeling so 😊😊 too like the details in it are so essential to the plot and it effectively launched me even deeper into the pepe obsession because how could you just casually write about hugging him from behind and not expect me to go absolutely insane

also there was a point of time where i had every pepe tag hidden for me from any social media platform because just his name or face would have me going so insane and my only way to tackle that was to hide him from myself so if that doesn’t say enough about me idk what will 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

and being able to call him dorky?? AAAAAAA my pepe happens to be a little cocky so idk if ill get to say that anytime soon but one day i will 🤞🤞

AND THE FACT THAT A PEPE EDITOR IS ON YOUR BLOG TOO?? IM SO 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I LOVED THAT EDIT BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC CHOICE SINCE I HAD A HALSEY PHASE A FEW YEARS AGO so to the editor: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

p.s. i love getting your replies too!! it literally fuels me through the day and i’m so grateful that you’ve been so sweet and accepting of me while supporting my pepe obsession (and even contributing to it, to be fair)

- 🪷💗

okay this got way too long because i spiraled so im putting the little cut thing here :))) im so sorry

yay yay yay !!! pls lmk if you think im like outing you too much here if you wanna keep a secret profile bcs then ill delete some of this, but like it was kind of because of the 2022 part? but mostly bcs of the spirituality part!! because i remembered that when i posted a couple of pepe gifs months ago, i saw your reblog of them and thought like "oh! pepe fan!! i like this person already" and i started looking through your blog 🤭 and like omg i must say, about your like manifestation post…. im very good at doing or saying stuff like that just for fun but recently they've started to come true quite often?? like i manifested clem's win in zandvoort last year… i said "arvid and luke will be the first f3 winners" several days before the first f3 session…. me and a dear friend talked about how lando would get his first win like two days before miami…… idk i think it's time for me to manifest a pepe win 😭😭

and god yes yes i agree!! i actually have a crazy fact here that i wasn't gonna say but i think i've said it on this blog before anyway so… my actual first name (i have several first names, no not middle names…. my parents wanted to be "funny" but it's actually a pain in the ass a lot of the time) is lotus…….. i couldn't make this up 😭 my mom always said it was because of the flower but my dad said it was bcs of the car ofc because it was more sneaky than naming your daughter like mercedes or ferrari lmao. and so that you chose that emoji, which is so dear to me because ive grown up loving lotus flowers and having plastic flowers all over my room and just 😵‍💫🫨 and okay i had a huge ariana grande phase when i was younger and i used to love "baby i" so much that my parents got me a tshirt of it for my like 13th bday… and guess what song came on first when i pressed shuffle on ☄️ anons pepe playlist today? THAT SONG 🙃 and guess where i used to keep that shirt (i never wore it)?? on my bedroom wall, and guess what used to stick up from that tshirt?????? A PLASTIC LOTUS FLOWER. I COULD NOTTT BE MAKING THIS UP 😭 sadly ive moved out of that room but i will do my very best to look for an old pic as proof because this is actually a bit insane to me…..

but yes i would also not be surprised if he came on a pod some day or whatever and said that he is a little spiritual and like u said has a lot of like pre-race rituals and :(((( cute

i'm very glad to hear that you liked the shaving thoughts !!!! i may have posted some more…. esp important stuff in the tags of that one 🫠 but aaaAaAa!! im going insane too!!! just the thought of hugging him is so !!!!!!!! i think hugging him would be so so nice? i feel like he can be very firm with it because he's just too strong, but then there's always some little detail that's so soft and that just makes your knees go weak 🥺 like he whispers something sweet in your ear before pressing a quick kiss to your neck… or he pulls away from the hug but keeps his hands on your hips, holding your lower bodies close… and the way he looks into your eyes so intently when you tell him about how your day was, his smile never leaving his lips and- 😭 idkkkk and just the thought of hugging him when he's not wearing a shirt, like i feel like he would have naturally warm skin? so cuddling up to his back would be so cozy ??? your nose tickling the skin between his shoulder blades or your cheek resting on his bicep or something…….. 👉👈 (and omg resting on his bare chest in bed aaaaaaaaaaaa dont get me started)

bby you had the tag hidden?? please??? 🥲 understandable tho to keep sane and focused ig… bcs idk how to not think about him all day every day tbh, anytime i see him its just 🫠

YOUR PEPE IS COCKY?!?! HELPPP I WANT THAT TOO 😭😭 HOW? WHERE? WHO? AAAAAAAAA

shsjshjssj anons being fans of anons 🥺 idk if ive heard that song before but it fit so well with the two of them 🥺🥰 kisses to the editor 😚😚

waaaaahhh your asks fuel my days too 😭 when i woke up to this ask this morning i got so giddy hehehe and im always longing to hear more from you <3333 and god youve contributed sm to my obsession too aaaaaaa !!! so glad we get to share this (and with everyone else here too) 💗💗

[bsdndprplplld]

7 III 2023

it's the second week of the semester and I must say that it's easier than I predicted

statistical data analysis is boring but easy, algebra 2 is easy but probably interesting, so is differential geometry

algebraic topology was funny because ⅓ of the group completed the algebraic methods course, so at first we told the professor to skip half of the lecture (we all know the required part of category theory) and then with every new piece of information he would say "ok maybe this will be the first thing today that you don't know", to which we would reply "naaah we've seen this" lmao. but the course overall will be fun and maybe it's even better that the level of difficulty won't be as high as I though, that would leave more time for my other stuff

the tutorial part of number theory was scary, because the professor wanted us to work in pairs. my autistic ass hates working in groups and the noise in the room was unbearable (everyone was talking about the exercises we were given to solve), so I was on the verge of a meltdown after 30 minutes of this despite ANC headphones. next time I will work by myself from the start. maybe without the requirement of communication it won't be as bad. the course itself will be easy, when it comes to the material. I know nothing about number theory, so the novelty will make it more enjoyable. a few people said that they would prefer the tutorial in the standard form, maybe I won't have to worry about surviving it if there are enough people who want to change it

my birthday is tomorrow and as a gift my parents gave me enough money to buy an ipad, I was saving for it since november. for a few days now I've been testing different apps for note taking, pdf readers and other tools useful for studying. I must say, this is a game changer, I absolutely love it

taking notes itself is less comfortable than on an e-ink tablet, which gives very paperlike experience, but it's better than traditional ones. the upside is that I can use different colors and the whole process is less rigid than on an e-ink

two apps that seem the best for now are MarginNote 3 and GoodNotes

the first one is good for studying something from multiple sources. the app allows to open many pdfs, take pieces from them and then arrange them in a mindmap. it's possible to add handwritten notes, typed notes, photos and probably more that I don't know yet. all of this seems to be particularly useful when studying for exams or in other situations when it's necessary to review a huge chunk of material

the second app is for regular handwritten notes. it doesn't have any special advantages other than I just like the interface lol what I like about taking notes on ipad is that I can take photos and insert them directly into the notebook, which I can't do on the e-ink. it's great for lectures and classes because I don't usually write everything down (otherwise I can't listen, too busy with writing) and even if I do, I don't trust myself with it so I take photos anyway. being able to merge the photos with notes reduces chaos

oh god this is going to be a long post! other news from life is that yesterday I had a meeting with my thesis advisor and we finally picked a topic. some time ago he sent me a paper to try and said, very mysteriously, to let him know if it's not too hard before he reveals more details about his idea. the paper is about symmetric bilinear forms on finite abelian groups, pure algebra, and I was supposed to write about algebraic topology, so I tried to search where this topics comes up, but didn't find anything. it turns out that it's used to define some knot invariant, which I would use to write about the classification of singularities of algebraic curves. in the meantime my advisor had another idea, which is an open problem in knot theory. we decided to try the second one, because there is less theory to learn before I could start writing the paper

to summarize what I'm about to do: there is a knot invariant called Jones polynomial, which then inspires a construction of a certain R-module on tangles and the question asks whether that module is free, if so, what is its rank. now I'm reading the book he gave me to learn the basics and I can't wait till I start working on the problem

[authorsadiethatcher]

An AI Test

I played around with an AI tonight. It’s was interesting and a little fun. I wrote a quick flash fiction piece with it, directing it and filling in the details. I’m posting it unedited. I’m curious what people think.

Mona and Dr. Scott

Mona walks into Dr. Scott's office to be bimbofied. She's nervous. The receptionist asks if she needs help. "No, I'm ready to become a bimbo now." She says. The receptionist smiles at Mona and says that he will be right out. Dr. Scott comes in and asks how he can help her today. She replies by telling him she is here for the bimbo treatment. He shows her to his office. There are pictures on the walls of women turned into bimbos. Mona looks around the room. It's a huge office with several couches and chairs. On one wall there is a large TV with porn playing. Dr. Scott tells her to take off all of her clothes. She complies. She sits down on one of the couches while she waits for Dr. Scott. She starts getting wet because she knows what is coming next. She knows that soon she will be a bimbo and will be fucking big cock like never before. She gets nervous when she thinks about having sex with so many guys. But she also feels excited knowing that soon she will be able to get fucked by lots of cocks and feel better than anything she can imagine. "You're signed up for the standard blonde bimbo package. That comes with big tits and a tiny brain. Anything else you'd like to add before we get started?" Dr. Scott asks. She shakes her head no. She doesn't want any other enhancements. She just wants to be turned into a bimbo. She is nervous as the doctor gives her a shot. The drug is designed to turn the pain of the transformation into pleasure. Many bimbos come back wanting more done, just because it feels so good. Dr. Scott pulls out a machine that looks like a high-tech ping pong paddle. It holds it near her body and her breasts begin to ripple and swell. They grow larger by the second until they are bigger than Mona's head. She moans as the pain hits her as pleasure, overwhelming her senses. She never knew becoming a bimbo would feel this good. But with her tits now so big, it was time to move onto Mona's ass. It was no good to have tits bigger than her head, but a flabby little ass. Bimbos needed to be perfectly proportioned, at least in Dr. Scott's view. He was very particular about the bimbos who he transformed. "Turn over," Dr. Scott commanded. Mona did as she was told, not wanting to anger the doctor or slow down her transformation. He held the paddle over her ass and her cheeks began to grown. Before she knew it, she sported a tight bubble butt with perfect creases at her legs. As soon as Dr. Scott was satisfied with the latest change, he slapped Mona's bare ass, making the skin, muscle, and fat jiggle. Moan let out a moan, the drug still working in her system. That slap created no pain, only pleasure. There were many more changes to go before she was fully turned into a bimbo. First, she needed her waist tightened. Dr. Scott put some kind of cream on her stomach and then used a machine to tighten her midsection. This made her chest look even bigger. Next, she needed to be trimmed. Her pubic hair had been removed and her pussy shaved, but that wasn't good enough for the doctor. He pulled out a laser and burned away the hair follicles, leaving behind perfectly smooth skin. Dr. Scott moved onto the final physical change: her face. A bimbo could have the sexiest body, but if her face did not match, she might be asked to wear a bag over her head during sex. No one wanted that. High cheek bones, full lips, a button nose, were all additions to Mona's bimbo face. Dr. Scott even lengthened her hair as he colored it, giving her a platinum blonde mane that would forever label her a bimbo. "You look the part, but now we have to make you think the part," Dr. Scott said. The first step was to give Mona a new vocabulary. He taught her words and phrases to use during sex. Words like "Oh yes" and "Fuck my cunt." And she repeated them back to him. Then she learned dirty stories. She was shown pornographic movies. She was given a book with an index of sexual acts, from blow jobs to anal sex to fellatio. She read it over and over again. The learning process lasted for hours. While it may seem like a lot of work, the doctor is confident that it will pay off in the end. After a few hours, Dr. Scott was satisfied. Mona looked and sounded like a bimbo. She was ready for the final stage. "I know you've been waiting for this moment," Dr. Scott said as he pulled open a drawer and took out another syringe. "It's time to give you the IQ of a bimbo." The doctor gave Mona a shot, causing her to doze off. When she woke up, she felt different. She had a hard time trying to think. She couldn't concentrate on anything. Not only was she drugged, but she also felt like she was drunk. Except this was her new normal. Her brain was slow and her body felt like it was on fire with lust. She was a horny bimbo now. "I feel, like, horny and stuff," Mona said as she reached down and fingered her pussy. She couldn't help it. She was just so horny and she no longer had the willpower to tell her body to stop. "I've got just the solution for you," Dr. Scott said as he lowered his pants. Mona's eyes fixed on the cock. It was all she could see, all she could understand. It was all she wanted. She wanted to suck the dick and fuck the guy. She was so horny and stupid. She didn't know who she was anymore. Dr. Scott held Mona's head in place as he fucked her mouth. Mona was in heaven. This was everything she ever wanted. It didn't matter that she had forgotten her name. All that mattered was that she was a hot and sexy bimbo now.

[anxietycheesecake]

Gay sex jokes can be funny, tasteful and valid rep. But when it's all a show really delivers, there's definitely teasing of the only potential mlm couple (that nobody forced them to put in there; people shipping something they know is just a fun dynamic that won't go anywhere isn't that) and then going all "oh, but it's deeper than sexual™" and "I don't know if we're teasing it" is definitely... queerbait adjacent.

There are homophobes who are super comfortable watching this show to this day. They have an homophobic explanation for every single joke or hint we've enjoyed. It doesn't make it an homophobic show, of fucking course not, but it hasn't alienated the homophobic audience as much as you think. It probably will happen in season 4, but not yet.

Baiting the only mlm relationship when the only rep as for today are casual jokes is queerbait-adjacent. Going on unrelated weirdly sexual tangents when asked genuine questions about something even the press has read as text should leave a taste in your mouth, especially when compared to stuff that's been said before season 3 was a thing (and I'm willing to bet they're barely aware asexuality/demisexuality is a thing, if they've heard of it at all, so don't come for me). This doesn't feel like a "wait and see" type of answer, but ok, let's wait and see.

And if by the end of the show nandermo goes fully unaddressed (NOT CANON; the bar is as low as ADDRESSING it, I'll be ok with however it goes from there), I'm sorry, but I won't be as uwu about it as you are being.

I'm glad you feel seen and validated and like you're getting the rep you want, but when you consider how little risks the network is truly taking by doing stuff this way and how they'll definitely keep doing it in the future if they can get away with it... I mean, it's kind of insulting? I wouldn't give it a pass. I think it 100% would set a very unfortunate precedent.

(I know people are going to say "oh, but there's a lesbian couple in this other show, they're super ok with that". Cool. I promise you a board of guys with ties sat around a table to study every possible ramification of putting those lesbians in that drama or whatever. But you know what I want? More sitcoms with wild concepts and queer relationships. More sitcoms with queer relationships in general. If they can get away with baiting the only gay ship and still get praised for queer rep for jokes about how horny everybody is, expect most shows to handle it exactly like that. One is ok, sure, but there will be more and it'll get boring very quickly.)

I can't believe I have to say this, but don't fucking harrass the creators. Express your negativity about a product you consumed in general terms like a normal person and act in consequence.

Anyway, I love this show and where it's heading, not so much how it's being handled in the month and year of our lord June, 2022. Hope to come back and cringe at this someday lmao

[widow-maximov]

Whole again

Pairing: Wanda x Fem Reader, Natasha x Fem Reader

Warning: Language, angst, fluff

Summary: Y/n never had an easy life in every aspect of life, finding love again but being betrayed is the worse feeling...

Word count: 4.7K

Tag-list: @diaryoflife

(If you want to join my tag list, click here and enjoy my future posts :3)

⸻⸻⋙🗲⋘⸻⸻

Life couldn't be better at the moment, in your whole life you have always been pushed, not only by the Avengers but by your parents are well.

They always wanted the best for you and you did the best you could but it never was enough so you simply moved away from them when you turned 18, it was hard living alone, working somewhere that only paid for your rent and bills but never left you enough for food.

When you joined the Avengers, you instantly felt the difference here, food was always here and you never had to worry about not having enough. Everyone was accepting, especially Wanda.

The two of you got along quite quickly, she shared some interest you did and visa versa.

It was perfect, she always listened to you and reassured you that you always did your best, it was amazing being with Wanda. You felt safe around her and she always held you with so much love that it made you feel useful.

You loved her and each day spent with her, made you fall for the witch deeper, little did you know she did as well. She loved listening to you talk about your childhood, and how bravely you would overcome struggles.

She loved everything about you, from the way you would stick your tongue out when you couldn't get something right to little snorting that came out when you were very tired.

She adored you in secret and you did the same, you were always amazed by her powers, the way she would always find new ways to improve them or find out more about them. The way she would pay to every detail of every mission you told her.

The questioning that followed after, made your heart melt at how much she cared. She always wanted to be near you and hold you tight in her arms, this only worsen when the two of you have gotten together.

The dates would be amazing, she was really romantic and you would be hopelessly in love with everything she did for you. You would shower her with gifts and always be there for her whenever she had a rough night.

For some people being with one person for a long time is boring but for you it wasn't. You felt that you were always learning new things about Wanda, from the way she would tilt her head to the side slightly when you made a teasing comment.

~~~~~

Sitting in a meeting full with your teammates and unable to contain your desires is the worse feeling. Your powers are similar to Wanda's but only with the telekinesis part, the rest you just have to reply on your fighting skills.

You looked over to Wanda who was opposite you, she was too focused on what the meeting was about, rather than looking at you. You looked down at the papers in front of you and smirked, as you gotten inside her head and spoke.

"Would you like to do this?" You asked as you showed her an image of Wanda being pressed against the wall and your face pressed against her core.

She looked at you as soon as that image disappeared with wide eyes "or this?" You showed her another image, a lot more filthier than the one before.

When she came out of it, you could sense the confusion and the lust coming off her "We are in the middle of a meeting!" Her voice found itself in your head.

You smirked slightly at her and spoke back "So?"

"So? How can you expect me to concentrate on what they are talking about"

The way your eyes darken as you looked at her lips "I don't, I want you to focus on me and the way you'll be a mess after"

Her head tilted to the side with a small smirk across her face as she looked away from you and at the person who was at the front. You looked around and no one even noticed that the two of you had a whole ass conversation in your head.

~~~~~

To the way she would hide her face in the crook of your neck when she was embarrassed.

~~~~~

It has been a month since Wanda went on a mission, she was suppose to come back today, they were on a stake out to watch a hydra base, it was a successful mission but the only drawback was the fact that she was away for so long.

You kept yourself occupied and that was mainly with missions that required a lot of brainstorming, so when you heard that Wanda was coming back, you decided to prepare something for her.

You prepared everything for a warm bath and even went out of the way to get her favourite chocolate that she always loves to eat, along with that, nice dinner so after she is done she can eat proper food.

You sent her a message saying to shower and meet you in the room the both of you accidently found, that practically no one visited, obviously there was a little note with your clothes that she always loved wearing.

She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in your arms, but agreed to your message because it doesn't matter where she falls asleep as long as it is next to you she was more than happy.

When she walked in to all of the things you did for her, she was blooming with happiness, she held her hands close to her chest as a smile spread across her. She went through everything you listed in the note, and when she made it to the room, it was something she wouldn't expect.

You might not have been the best at showing your love but you learnt and tried your best, so you stood there with everything prepared for her and the way her heart would beat so fast just at the sight of you surrounded by the little lights.

She walked over to you as she took a proper look this time at the things inside, you smiled as you opened your arms for her and she took the hug without hesitation, she pulled away and without letting you say anything, she kissed you.

At the contact of your lips, a small moan escaped her mouth, causing you to raise your eyebrows at her and pulling away "Did you just... moan?"

Her cheeks turned a red colour so fast, she manged to giggle and hide her face in the crook of your neck "Shut up, it has been a month.."

You laughed and smiled as you tighten your embrace around her and allowed yourself to enjoy this.

~~~~~

But that all changed.. The day Vision was introduced to the team, he was connected to her by the stone the way you would never be connected, the way she would always spend her time with him instead of you.

The way she would listen to his story and never ask about yours, always avoiding you and your way of showing her your love, she would scold you for touching her, even if that was simply walking past her and your shoulders would brush.

It was difficult keeping this from the team, they loved you, like literally adored you, you always were the one to check up on everyone who went out on a mission. If anyone was injured even a little scratch you would always offer to help them in any way they want.

Everyone appreciated you and when they found out you found someone who claimed to love you in a different way they did... They were excited and happy for you, which meant they would always be up your business and Wanda's.

They grown to love Wanda as well, she was harmless and shy but you wouldn't want to be on her bad side, though some don't really care whether she was powerful, they would easily knock her out.

Today was movie night, the whole team sat on the huge couch Natasha on your left whilst your right side was empty, that would be Wanda's side, she wasn't here which didn't really concern you.

She was always late or sometimes didn't come but she promised to be here with you today, yet she wasn't coming. There was a gut feeling that something wasn't right yet you couldn't just walk out as Tony wanted to show you some things during this time so you stayed.

You tried your best to pay attention but it failed so when the movie was over, you stood up quickly and made your way to find Wanda, you rounded the corner and when you gotten closer to your shared bedroom, the noises only gotten louder you gulped as you opened the door carefully.

It was like a horror movie, you opening the door as if there would be a monster behind it, but this was much worse than any monster. If heartbreak had a sound, you would be definitely heard. You stood there taking in what is in front of you, Wanda and Vision in the bed you shared with Wanda before.

He was on top of her and she was a mess riddled with pleasure, it doesn't take any idiot to understand what they were doing, with so much pain in your heart, you walked out of that room and walked back to your room.

The stiffness in your walking was obvious that you was hurt, that's how anyone who knew you for a long time would know you were hurt. You knew this was the end of your relationship with Wanda..

The worse part is that this has happened before, not with Wanda but with someone else you dated, Wanda promised you that she would never do anything like that when you opened up to her.

You yet again failed your own promise, the promise that you would never let anyone in but yet that witch did something to you and you fell for her.

And here you are, sitting against the door as you muffle your sobs with your hands, you were so glad to have picked a room far away from the others so no one could hear you.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

You seemed to create a schedule to be out of the way of everyone, making sure no one saw you or even tried to bother you but you did clash with someone eventually and the way you would pretend, made no one question if you were hurt or not.

No one would notice, they just thought it was you being you. Good that you had a habit of avoiding people from time to time when things were overwhelming so no one questioned it.

You thought no one noticed your strange behaviour but you were wrong, Natasha did. She was a spy after all so analysing people was like walking, easy and smooth and she gotten so used to it she forgets she even does it.

She caught on the times you went to the gym where you would spend all of your day, you would avoid everyone including Wanda. You didn't even know she was on a mission for 6 months so your avoiding was pointless, she wouldn't even notice your absence.

You was in the gym, assaulting the punching bag as if it took everything away from you. You punched it with so much energy, you were kind of surprised it didn't come off the ceiling.

Natasha stood there, staring at you as you threw such powerful punches. It was odd how you looked so emotionless when you would practically made the bag look so weak. She did what she thought would make you talk, she walked over as she made herself known with her clearing her throat.

Your looked over your shoulder and relaxed when you noticed it was Natasha "Sorry, did you book today? I thought it was clear for today"

She shook her head as she walked closer towards you "No I didn’t, usually it’s empty..- Actually do you want to spar with me?"

You faced her now as you took a sip of your water and nodded, usually you would just be here alone and no one bothered you but since she was already here, you might as well, the two of you made it inside the ring and took your poses, she was rested and less of a mess than you, you was exhausted from no sleep and constant nightmares so you were no match for her.

With one move, you was down as she pinned you down and hovered above you, you tried with every strength in your body to move from her grip but you had no chance.

"What happened Y/n?" She asked with seriousness in her tone.

You tried your luck again to free yourself "Nothing"

"I can get Wanda to do this for me" She bluntly spoke as she watched your reaction.

Your eyes widen at her words "No, I don't want her here"

Natasha let you go as she sat down next to you but you just laid there, you knew she will question to why suddenly you don't want to be around the witch.

"Why?" Was the only word that came out from the Russian.

You shook your head as you tried to erase the embedded scene "No"

Natasha narrowed her eyes at you "What do you mean no? Why can't Wanda be here Y/n?"

You covered your face with your hand as you took a deep breath, feeling the tears form in your eyes "She cheated"

Natasha's eyes widen at your words, the feeling of range building up, she knew Wanda was suppose to go on a mission today so she will be able to catch her "With who?"

"Vision" You managed to choke out as sobs were threatening to spill out of your mouth.

Natasha felt so angry, the fact that Wanda was capable of doing something so horrible to you and she was so close to getting up and making sure that Wanda gets knocked into the next universe for what she did but when a sob came out of your mouth, she was quick to forget what she would do but quickly pulled herself near you and held you as you cried in her shoulder.

Natasha was your true friend but for Natasha you was more than a friend for her. She was deeply in love with you and when she heard that you are dating Wanda, she was heart broken. She started to slowly distance herself and hoped you would notice but Wanda was occupying your head for you to even notice Natasha missing, well at least that what the redhead thought.

She loved everything about you, from the way your eyes would sparkle at the mention of a new movie that was coming out to how you would drink too much and sing bunch of songs that didn't even make sense.

She loved you but you never felt the same even if she could swear to herself that you did feel something for her but she convinced herself she was just seeing things, she wanted to believe that you would fall for her the way she fell for you but that didn't happen so she had to live with herself and these feelings.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

She took you to your room so you could rest and made her way towards Wanda, she was in your old bedroom acting as if nothing happened, she didn't even care that you wasn't here, actually she was happy you didn't bother her.

Natasha marched inside as she could feel her anger boiling over, and when her gaze met Wanda's she couldn't control herself "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

The way Wanda's eyebrows raised as if she didn't know what the Russian was talking about "Are you okay Natasha?"

"You try to seem so innocent and shy but you are a fucking liar and the worst person in the planet!" Natasha raised her voice as she pointed towards Wanda.

She stood up as she looked at the spy with shock "What the hell are talking about!"

Natasha scoffed "Please, keep pretending but I know what you did with Vision"

The Sokovian's face fell as she heard those words "What do you know?"

The Russian rolled her eyes at the witch "How much you fucked up the only good thing you had in your pathetic life"

"You can't tell Y/n.."

The redheads eye's narrowed "She already knows.."

The gasp wasn't a shocked one but more of a surprised one, why didn't you say anything? She had to find out, so she did what was on her mind but Natasha moved in her direction.

"You won't disturb her, you will go on your mission and leave Y/n alone"

Just as Wanda was going to protest, she was alerted that she had to go, she was the only way this mission would be successful. She barged past Natasha as she left for the mission, in hopes that when she comes back, she will finally talk to you about the subject she should've voiced way before.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

The past 2 months have been hard on you, you tried to not drag Natasha into this but she was there regardless of your attempts. You even somehow ended up sleeping in her room because your nightmares have gotten worse, she reassured you that you were safe.

~~~~~

Natasha couldn't sleep, she decided to go through some work reports, hoping that will make her somehow sleepy and she would be able to finally get some rest.

Her eyes darted up at you and her expression softened at you and the way you was snoring, you passed out on the couch watching a movie so Natasha took you into her room and tucked you into her bed, she decided to grab bottle of water and some more files.

When she walked out, as if her present kept you at bay, your nightmares started to wake you up, the second they got heavy you jumped up so still as your eyes went wide, looking ahead of you slowly registering where you are.

Natasha walked through the door with everything but when she noticed the fear in your eyes, she rushed to you and at her touch you relaxed, the way her strong arms held you as you hugged into her, your breath steadied as Natasha rubbed your back in soothing motions.

Your head rested on her shoulder and wiped the fallen tear from your face, there was silence, for Natasha it was comfortable silence but for you it was embarrassing, she had to witness you in this state.

You unglued yourself from her as you covered your face "I'm sorry you had to witness that"

She shook her head as she gently grabbed your hands and pulled them away from your face "You have nothing to be sorry for, красивая (beautiful). This is a normal thing that people experience so don't be sorry"

You looked at her as tears filled your eyes and with a sad smile you spoke "Well then I'm glad it's you who is by my side through this"

Natasha smiled as she pulled you into a hug and the both of you decided to finally sleep, she was your safe haven from nightmares.

~~~~~

When she had her nightmares, you were there even if you were suffering.

~~~~~

Natasha went to bed earlier than usual and you not waking to disturb her as she slept so lightly, you decided to just go back to your room and try sleeping there.

Aside from your nightmares sometimes you was able to sleep through the night without constantly jumping, you tried to do something to occupy your mind, even ended up sitting by the window as you stared out in the stares just in hopes that it would make you sleepy.

You took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen, you opened the fridge and took the cold water, taking a sip as shivers ran through your body, you turned around and started to walk towards your room again.

You stopped at Natasha's door, pressed your ear against it to listen. Maybe she was awake? but there was no movement so you sighed and slowly opened the door.

Making your way inside, as you see Natasha sitting in the middle of the bed, with her head resting on top her knees, she looked so small and fragile, you placed your water down and quickly made your way to her.

Your arms found themselves around her as she so easily fell into you, her face covered in trails of tears causing unsteady breathes to escape her mouth.

"It's okay Natty.. I'm here" You tried your best to reassure her as you whispered.

She loved your voice and each time it worked to calm her so she just nodded as she let her arms snake around you, gripping onto your shirt.

Your hand played with her hair as your free hand was placed firmly against her so you could tighten your embrace around her "I'm sorry"

You smiled sadly at her as she looked up at you when she spoke "There is nothing to apologise for, I am more than happy to be here for you"

She shook her head "This shouldn't be about me Y/n/n, you are the one with the most painful pain here"

You cupped her face as you stared into her eyes "You are just as important as my pain Natty.. Please don't say that"

A tear rolled down her face, you wiped it with your thumb and kissed her forehead and pulled her into you again "You are important Nat, don't tell yourself otherwise.."

No matter how much you wanted to break down from the pain in your heart, but you kept yourself together for her because in this moment she needs you and you were happy to do that...

~~~~~

Natasha never wanted anything back for what she did for you, she did it because she still very much loved you, she would even jump in front of a speeding car if you told her to, because being away from you pained her more than watching you fall in love with someone else.

After those 2 months you finally gotten a grip on your life, you started to heal and having someone near you only helped you heal faster, Wanda wasn't around but her walking microwave was, he would observe you and what you did.

So far for the past 4 months, you did pretty good, you seem to smile more often than at the start, you started to feel normal again and that was all because of Natasha, she stuck beside you at your worst and you wouldn't want it any other way.

Right now it was one of Tony's parties, you weren't so much in the mood for one but Natasha being here was more than motivating, so you attended.

Wearing one of the dresses you never had the chance to use, with some minimal make up, finally feeling good about yourself, so you made your way towards where the party was held. The first person you searched for in the crowd was Natasha and with ease you located her near the bar.

You made your way towards her as she slid over a drink that she prepared, you eyed the drink "How did you know what I like"

She shrugged as she sipped hers "I'm very observant"

You smiled widely as you took the drink and sipped on it as well, she was watching you, turning her body towards you "How are you?"

The tone she used wasn't something she used with everyone, you knew the meaning behind it "Definitely better now.. What about you?"

She shrugged once again as she looked down "I'm not sure actually"

You placed the drink as you grabbed her hand "It's okay to not know. You know you can talk to me, right?"

She looked up as her eyes locked with yours and she nodded bringing a smile upon your lips "Great, now drink that and let's go dance, before you turn into a grandma"

She raised her eyebrow "Grandma? Are you trying-"

"Sorry! I can't hear you, the music is too loud!" You shouted over her as she shook her head with a playful smile as she drank the rest of her drink.

You was already done with yours so as soon as she placed the glass down, the hand you held from earlier, you pulled towards the dance floor, feeling the burning sensation in your throat as alcohol made it's way into your blood.

Both of you danced for so long until you started to feel sober again, Natasha never left your side since she knew how you were when you drank, a little of alcohol made you so brave that she feared you might accidently punch someone.

You went to the bar alone, Natasha had clear sight of you but she was distracted with dancing as she waited for you. You knew this night was too good to be true, especially when you forgot that Wanda would be back today.

You didn't even notice the witch until she aggressively tapped your shoulder, making your head whip towards her and your eyes widen at her angry face.

"What do you think you're doing?" She questioned you as if you were suppose to be scared.

You rolled your eyes and ignored her as you continued to wait for your drink but she grabbed your shoulder and span you to face her, angering her more.

"What do you want?" You asked so unbothered by her presence.

"When did you start acting like a slut, Y/n?"

You raised your eyebrows at her, the way those words easily slipped out of her mouth "I'm acting like a slut? I am waiting for my drink and you are disturbing me"

She rolled her eyes, she felt her powers pumping inside her veins "You are the only person here, all over all those women"

You looked around to see what women she was talking about "What women? I was just dancing with Nata-" You paused "I don't have to explain myself to you, now leave me alone"

"Yes you do! You definitely need to tell me why you are all over Natasha? Are you sleeping with her?"

It was started to irritate you, she didn't care about you so many months ago and suddenly when things get better, she takes an interest, it's like her life goal is to destroy your happiness.

"You have to be joking right now.." You scoffed as you stared at her with so much disbelief across your face.

"Yes we sleep together, in the same bed! As she fucking helps me through my nightmares you gave me!" You poked her chest as you raised your voice at her.

"You think I will believe you? I seen the way you look at her Y/n-!"

You grabbed her hand as you showed her what you dream off, each night. Jumping up in fear and sweat as tears roll down your face and how each time those nightmares get worse, seeing how Wanda betrayed you over and over again and you were forced to see it, enduring more pain than it is healthy.

You let go of her hand as she finally looked at you but with a different emotion; guilt.

You scoffed as you walked away that's when Natasha noticed you was gone for too long, her gaze caught you walking away towards the elevators away from Wanda, she felt the anger in her raise but you were more important than dealing with Wanda.

You made your way towards the kitchen, as you wiped the runny make up down your face, using the reflecting bit of the coffee maker to see where the make up was ruined.

Suddenly a voice spoke up from behind you "How did you think that would end?"

It wasn't the voice you would expect to hear, you straighten yourself as you swiftly turned towards Vision "Are you as stupid as Wanda, I left to be left alone so why are you here?"

Your tone didn't faze him "Wanda never really loved you Y/n"

You rolled your eyes "Look you walking fridge, I don't give two shits what Wanda felt or not, I care about you leaving me the fuck alone before you regret it"

He stood there completely still, no emotions displayed "Did you think Wanda would love someone so simple, she has a connection with me through the mind stone but with you? Nothing"

You wanted to be angry but you knew this is why she left you, she had that connection with him that you could never understand, he laughed at your reaction "See, pathetic little girl who can't even get over the fact that she left"

"You never was enough. I am so much more better than you-" His sudden stop to his words, made you look up.

"If you don't leave this room, I swear the only thing that will be left is that stupid gem from your stupid head"

He raised his arms up as the gun was pointed at his head, Natasha might've drank a little too much, then again she doesn't exactly gets drunk, she is Russian and Russians are really hard to get drunk.

"Now leave" It was a demand that fell from the redheads mouth, he nodded and stepped out of the kitchen and left. He knew better than to start a war with the former assassin.

She placed her gun down as she rushed towards you and without a word just hugged you, you took a deep breath "Thank you.."

She pulled away slightly as she looked worryingly into your eyes "Whatever he said, it's not true-"

"Natty, there is no need to sugar coat it anymore" The smile that was spread across your lips wasn't as sad as it was before "She left me because I just wasn't what she wanted in the end, she might've left me in a horrible way but it's okay"

The Russian shook her head as she cupped your face with both of her hands as tears of her own dropped "You are just perfect, she made a horrible mistake"

You bought your hand to wipe her tears "Maybe, but that's her problem now and I couldn't be happier with where I am and who I am surrounded by"

She smiled as she pulled you into her, letting out a breath she was holding back, you always seem to have that effect on her whenever your face would be too close to hers.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Another 6 months went by so quickly, and you seem to be closer to Natasha than before. She trained you and you in return showed her what fun tricks you can do with your mind.

She was amused by you but also annoyed each time she would place something and it suddenly it was gone. The team soon started to snoop around your business as they noticed Wanda no longer being all over you.

You told the team and they were more than understanding, respecting your wishes or else they would know what Natasha's fist tastes like.

You noticed how much you grew fond of the feeling for Natasha, you seen her in a whole different light and if you were honest you actually really liked it.

You could've promised yourself that you would never want to be with someone again but you knew that this is a whole lie and the more you spend your time with Natasha the stronger you felt towards her.

You could pinpoint the exact moment you realised that what you felt wasn't friendly but more romantic

~~~~~

You always loved cooking as a way to relax and that's what you were doing today, Natasha was against cooking, she wanted to do her reports but you managed to convince her with your famous cookies.

The mission the both of you attended was tense but not as hard as others so a little cooking couldn't hurt anyone, you looked at Natasha who just sat there as she leaned on her hands.

"You could help me instead of being a weirdo and just staring" You spoke as you eyed her from what you were doing.

She chuckled as she protested "I was told to accompany you not be your elf"

You raised your brows at her "Elf? it's not Christmas season just yet darling"

If you were silent enough you could've heard Natasha's heart skip a beat at the nickname you used, she just stared at you with a smile so you continued not realising her obvious staring "Plus elf's are cute and very useful so more your ass and help me if you want some of these cookies"

She rolled her eyes playfully as she made her way towards you, you handed her some ingredients to mix together as you did your part as well.

She stood there, mixing it as her muscles flexed catching your eye once or twice... or all the time. You tried your best to keep your focus on what you were doing and finally when she was finished, she pushed the bowl towards you without saying anything.

You looked at her and the smile that was spread across her lips was the most innocent smile anyone could witness. Sometimes Natasha manages to act like a child just to impress you and it did work most of the time.

You smirked as you took your finger and dipped it into the melted chocolate and with one swift motion you rubbed it onto her face, her mouth fell open as you started to giggle at her.

She frown at you but failed to act upset as your giggles made her smile, so she did what she thought was payback and took some of the chocolate as she rubbed it on your cheek.

You looked at her when you suddenly stopped laughing "Okay, okay, I deserved that"

You tried to wiped the chocolate away but she stopped you and looked into your eyes, the sense of innocence was gone "Let me get it for you"

When her face moved closed to your cheek, you froze and then you felt her tongue on your cheek as she licked off the chocolate she just wiped on you, when she moved away and hummed at the deliciousness, your eyes were slightly wider as you stared at her.

This feeling wasn't friendly and definitely not innocent

~~~~~

You was sitting next to Natasha on the couch, with your head on her shoulder as she scrolled down her phone to bunch of 10 second videos of cats. You planned to ask Natasha out for a walk later in the day to finally talk to her but the thought of planning what you were going to say to her was interrupted.

"Sorry Y/n, can I quickly talk to you?" Wanda spoke up as she stood couple feet away from the couch.

You felt Natasha tense which made you look at her and nod slightly to let her know it's okay, she relaxed and smiled at you but her narrowed eyes came back as soon as it landed on Wanda.

"Sure" You spoke with just one word as the two of you made your way towards the kitchen, far enough from Natasha's hearing range.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to apologise.."

You took a deep breath, thinking it will be one of those scenes where the ex begs to get back but she held her hand up as she spoke before you could "I'm not here to 'beg' you to come back to me, I just wanted to say that I am really sorry how things turned out"

"I had a lot of time to think about what you showed me and I didn't realise the pain I had in flicked on you by doing what I did. It was a mistake with how I handled it and I am sorry"

You took a deep breath, this is all you wanted from her and in the end she finally understood her wrong "Like I said, I'm not here to beg you because I did fall out of love with you and nothing has changed since that time but I just wanted to say I'm sorry Y/n"

You would be lying if you said it didn't hurt, because you used to love her with your whole being but at the same time, you didn't love her like that anymore, someone else owned your heart and you were more than happy to gift it to them.

You nodded with a smile across your lips "I know Wanda, Thank you for this"

She nodded as she looked past you at Natasha "I'm just glad you were able to fall in love again.."

You looked where she was looking and smiled widely to yourself as you whispered "I know.."

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

You dragged Natasha along with you by her hand, she wanted to stay inside as it was cold but of course to managed to convince her, she of course said she would blame you if she gotten sick and you promised to be there for her if she was.

You pulled her towards this tall bridge that had a little pond beneath it, it was covered in ice which was more beautiful, the way the lights would light up the darkness and that's exactly how you felt with Natasha.

You stood in the middle of the bridge, smiling widely as Natasha's cheeks were slightly pink "Why are you smiling so much?"

The smile across of your lips never left as you answered her "Because Tasha! Look around it's beautiful"

She kept her gaze on you as you looked around "I agree with you" she didn't care about anything else but you in this moment admiring the beautiful of the world whilst her world stood right in front of her.

"Well why are we here?" She asked curious to why you wanted to drag her out here.

You took a deep breath and finally looked into her emerald eyes, taking in her warm hand "I brought you here so I can tell you something important-"

She whined "You could've told me in the warmth of my bedroom"

You rolled your eyes "No, no I could not have"

"Fine, okay.. Tell me" She sighed with a small smile.

"Natasha, where do I start... You have changed so much in my life and I really hope this will change a lot of things for good"

She looked confused at you as her heart started to beat fast in her chest and you continued "I never thought I could get over what has happened but you made it so much more easier which is what made me fall in love with you"

"You have been nothing but amazing to me and I regret not seeing how strongly I feel about you. Because of you Tasha, I am whole again and-"

Before you could continue, Natasha pulled your face into hers as she smashed her lips against yours, the way her lips moved against yours made you feel so loved and happy.

She pulled away with the biggest smile as she pressed her forehead against yours "I had always loved you медовый (honey) and I would've done anything you told me even if that meant staying away"

You sighed at her words "I don't want you to stay away"

Natasha smiled with so much love "Good, I couldn't even if I wanted to"

You pulled her in for a kiss but before actually kissing her you whispered "I love you too Natty" and finally allowed yourself to kiss Natasha with the same love as she was giving you.

[en-hale-archives]

Me with You ~~

pairing ⑅ bestfriend!Jake x fem!reader

genre ⑅ friends to lovers, fluff, slow dancing, suggestive/smut

words/read time ⑅ 3.9k/12-19 mins

warnings ⑅ 18+ content, light cussing

synopsis ⑅ Jake is back in his hometown to spend time with his closest friend. During some fun and frivolous dancing, things start to heat up...

author's note ⑅ I’m really proud of how this story turned out. I'm not a huge fan of second person, so I wrote in first, but if anyone asks, I can copy and post again in second person. It's more fluff than anything, but it does get a bit steamier towards the end, so I’m just going to go ahead and put a warning.

————✧————

When the back door finally slammed shut and the cacophony of barks faded down the street, I could finally let out my sigh of relief that I had been holding in since this morning. I tapped on my phone. How many days had we been watching Mrs. Chen’s pets? And just how was I able to put up with hours of barking, the smell of fresh turd lying across the lawn, and dog walks till dark? Including their rigorous feeding times and bathroom breaks -- I’m surprised I haven’t exploded yet.

I had so much planned the minute they left my house, but instead, the sudden silence felt all too relaxing and I laid my head against the cold countertop. I could finally stop stressing, stop thinking, and stop worrying about reprimanding for chewing on my shoes or peeing in the house or the continued barking that never ended. I was free. I felt like I could’ve stayed laid on the countertop forever, drowning in the evening sun. Who knew watching five dogs would take such a burden out of a person. Jake and I had taken on the job of dog sitting for Mrs. Chen while she visited some family in Tokyo. We both switched off every other day; some of the dogs at my house and the others at his; until we realized it would be easier if he just spent the few days at my house as we co-doggy sat. He got up bright and early to take them on their walks while I prepared their highly detailed and specific meals. Then from there, we spent the rest of the day making sure they didn’t run off somewhere or cause too much destruction in the house. But alas, Mrs. Chen came back early from her getaway and picked up Toby, Caleb, Khao, Sofia, and Pickle on her way home. Although I was exhausted from watching 3-foot dogs all day, the pay was amazing for me, and it would help tremendously for all the online classes I was going to be taking next semester.

The warmth of the sun cast a comforting trance over my heavy eyelids, and soon enough I was fast asleep, standing in the middle of the kitchen with the soft sound of nothing surrounding me.

By the time I had fluttered my eyes open, I had realized I was now seated in my dining chair and a large black jacket was placed over my shoulders. I sat up and let out a yawn, wincing at the bright light coming from the tv and shaking my now numb arm awake. I must have been sleeping for a while because the evening sun had turned to pitch of black. The moonlight beamed through the window and danced along with the sways of the large oak tree out front. I stood up and walked over to the refrigerator in which I grabbed two water bottles and some leftover pasta.

I was sure that Jake hadn’t eaten since lunch, seeing as he only ate if someone sat food in front of his face. I dragged my feet up the stairs until I heard the slamming of a book and the fast typing of a keyboard come from the living room. I turned and looked behind me. Jake had settled his things on the coffee table and floor, large books, folders, and several amounts of crumpled up pieces of paper found their way around Jake, himself slouched up against the edge of the couch. He had changed clothes since the last time I had seen him, he now wore a plain blue shirt with grey sweats, his eyebrows furrowed as he worked hard on whatever he was getting at.

“Oh yes, I was starving!” Propping himself up on the couch, he took the plate of pasta. I placed the waters on the coffee table and settled comfortably on the couch beside him.

“I can’t say that I’ve ever seen anybody sleep standing up before. Look,” Jake took his phone off the charger. “I got a picture.” He pushed the screen in my face, and of course, there was my unconscious body laying on the counter, mouth open and all. I playfully pushed it back his way as his face lit up with a smile I was all too familiar with.

“What are you doing down here so late, it’s almost 12 in the morning,” I asked. Jake’s smile disappeared when he was reminded of the work he had been doing seconds before.

He let out a large huff of air. “Trying to get some words on paper but instead it turned into a paper massacre,” he jokingly replied, “sorry for the mess.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied, taking a swig of water. I was going to ask if he wanted to watch a late-night movie, or pull an all-nighter and talk endlessly until the sun rose, but I could tell by each passing second that Jake was worried about this, and he wanted the time he had now over the summer to work on his music. I wished I was motivated to work on my own music, but unlike Jake, I wasn’t in a globally popular boy band. My complicated best friend for over 10 years had been working his butt off since middle school. It was his annual time to sit back and relax while he had the time to, but instead, he chose to use that time to help watch a bunch of dogs with his hometown bestie. God, I loved him.

Jake pulled himself off the couch and right back onto the floor, leaving the rest of the pasta to me. He picked up his pen again and started scribbling down words as quickly as he could, trying hard not to forget the lyrics that had floated into his head. Until he stopped, closing his eyes for just a split second, and let out a powerful sigh. Crumpling up the sheet, he stacks it on top of the others in frustration and started frantically tapping his pencil against the table.

“Maybe it’s best to just try again in the morning,” I advised, taking a small bite of the pasta that was left by my side.

“How come I’m having such a hard time with this?” He gazed up at me frantically for a clue, as if I had the answer to fix a problem as big and as important as his was. I looked at his doleful eyes and the bags that were starting to grow underneath them. I couldn’t help but think, because I made you sit up and watch a bunch of dogs with me.

“Do you want me to see if I could come up with something?”

“If you want. But, hold on, I think my thoughts are coming back up.” He quickly grabbed another piece of paper, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

I tried my best to keep occupied by watching videos on my phone, but I found myself suddenly bored out of my mind. I laid out on my back and picked up one of Jake’s folders. Briefly looking through it, I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous at the amount of fan art and letters, praising him and the other members. Followed with that were just more and more engene stuff, full of nothing but kind words and heartfelt messages. Part of me wished that I was able to travel with Jake and see the world like he was. How fun would it be to meet people that praised you? And how cool would it be to see that you had fans? I couldn’t help but plaster on a huge smile as I skimmed through some of the notes until I finally came to one with familiar handwriting.

Remember Me were the words written on the top of the paper in bold and bright colors. But the message written underneath is what caught my attention:

To the person that makes me the luckiest guy in the world, this song is for you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but please just remember me -- it was Jake’s handwriting.

I didn’t feel like I was breaking any crime reading his stuff until this moment, but curiosity killed the cat, and right now I didn’t mind being a feline. I checked to make sure Jake was still busy, and he was, almost like he had teleported into his own world. I quietly turned back to the sheet and started reading. It was about a girl, presumably his crush I’m sure. She was someone important to him, someone who made him love so much that it hurt. But this was far from a happy song, in fact, it was terribly heartbreaking. She didn’t understand his love, she wasn’t able to interpret it like he wanted her to. But he confesses that he was scared of what telling her would do, worried that she wouldn’t feel the same. So instead, it was like he was apologizing, and asking that she forgive him for not being brave enough to tell her, and if he did ever get the courage to, for her to remember him even if she wasn’t able to love him like he wanted her to.

The song ends like how the title began, and I find myself flabbergasted at the beautiful mixes of rhymes and metaphors that read like a poem. This was the first of Jake’s songs that made me feel this way, like I had just finished watching a tragedy movie with Ryan Renolds starring. I blink back the tears that I didn’t realize were forming. How come he never told me this? We never kept secrets from each other, like ever. It never mattered the subject or the severity, we had always promised that we would be open and honest with each other. I wish I would’ve known this sooner, maybe I could’ve saved him from feeling this way. And what girl could it possibly be? I knew for sure I was the only girl he was presumably close to; but was there someone else?

I glanced down at Jake, who was still in a focused state of mind with the pencil in his mouth and mumbling lyrics softly under his breath. I tried picturing my bubbly Jake writing these agonizing words and miserably failed.

Jake looked up at me as if he could feel my gaze on the back of his head. “I think I’ve found the chorus, but it’s the rest of the song I’m not able to get, and how come it’s so hard to find another word that rhymes with severe? Beer? Sphere? Revere? Appear? Gosh, rhyming sucks some serious ass!”

“This song is beautiful.”

Jake furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Huh?”

“This song I found in your folder.” I glanced back at it in my hand. “Remember Me.”

Jake’s gaze leaped from my eyes to the sheet, and I felt his body tense. “Where’d you get that from?”

“I was just going through one of your folders. Did you accidentally get it mixed up in your fan folder? Cause this is -”

“Did you read it?” He interrupted.

“Yeah, and it’s perfect.”

Jake glanced at me for a split second before turning back around, obviously uncomfortable. “I was watching one of those Kdramas you love so much and it inspired me. Could you help me rhyme with severe now?”

I knew Jake like the back of my hand, so I knew continuing on with this conversation would get him upset if he’s clearly avoiding it. But, I wasn’t going to just let him off that quickly. “Jake, come on, you can tell me anything. Who is this about?”

Jake looked back at me with a hint of something in his eyes, something I’ve never seen before, and something I wasn't able to decipher. “Nobody, I was just feeling really inspired, that's it.” His tone had switched from calm to agitated.

I give him my I’m-not-stupid look and he comes back with his own you’re-being-delusional stare. “It’s seriously nobody, truthfully and honestly.”

“Okay, okay I’ll back off.” I could tell he was starting to get defensive, and when he got like that, it took him at least a few hours before returning to normal. I watched Jake's Adam's apple move up and down, a way in which I could tell he knew I was not convinced in the slightest. “Well, sometimes we go through things that can remind us of situations like that, but not necessarily in that same exact context, you know? It has to be amplified for that audience appeal.”

“Okay...but have you ever felt this way before? Not exactly like how it’s written, but maybe somewhere along these lines?”

I thought I was going to get another vague answer, or worse, an aggravated one. But instead Jake looked down at his pencil as he tapped it along his wrist. “...maybe, but I think everyone can connect to the words in some way. I mean, everyone feels some kind of heartbreak in their life, right?” Jake's answer was still pretty vague, but at least I was able to get something out of him.

“Okay, but you know you can tell me anything, like, anything ever because you know that you’ll never actually have to feel this way, right?” I said, maybe too much in a hurry.

“Of course I know that.” He replied, giving one of his awkward grins.

“And if anyone has made you feel this way, then you know you can tell me that too cause there a sucker to lose out on a perfect person like you.” I teased in a sing-song way, poking his shoulder hard. Jake chuckled and poked me back.

A weird silence grew in the room, and Jake went back to trying to find rhyming words. I tried getting back on my phone, but I knew I needed to say something to let go of the tenseness in the air.

“Hey, crystal clear rhymes!”

He leaned his head back and looked up at me. “Nevermind, I give up for tonight.”

I could see the stress that played on his face. “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, but by the time I do, it’ll be too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Jake pulled his knees up to his chest and spoke. “This was going to go on our album comeback that needs to be finished in the next four months. By the time I think of something, it'll be too late and I’ll have to wait until the next four months. But by then, I'll have forgotten. This always happens and I have no idea how the hell to fix it.” I couldn’t tell if he wanted my help or just a bit of comfort.

“Did you try asking the other guys to see if they had any ideas?”

“Yeah, but they’re working on their own parts, I can’t ask them to do this too.”

“I’m sure they’d be willing to help if you asked,” I assured him.

“I know they would, but I just don’t want to. I always ask them for help, I thought being away from the studio and being back home would help my brainstorming abilities.” He gave a weary chuckle that almost sounded like a groan.

“Well, maybe tomorrow will come with better results.” I did my best to give him some motivation, but I could tell I was failing miserably at that too.

Jake watched as a car zoomed past the window, a low bass sounding off as it zoomed away. “I bet it’s easier to just listen to music than to try and come up with it. I remember when I would just blare NCT all day long and jam out in my room. It seemed so much easier back then to come up with stuff than it does now. I miss it.” He took a slight pause before continuing. “ Did you know that song you read was the easiest thing I have written in my life? I remember writing too. I just had this super weird feeling in my chest one day so I basically locked myself in my room and took maybe two hours and just wrote a bunch of words down and connected them to sound like a song. For once my mind had just gone blank and I couldn’t stop thinking and feeling that song, like I knew what it was supposed to sound like, I knew what the lyrics were supposed to mean. I just knew everything. And I miss that feeling, that feeling of like- '' He broke off his sentence when he looked back up to my eyes. It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to me. He swallowed hard and looked back at the pencil still in hand.

“Well, I'm sorry you don’t feel free anymore. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel like that again-”

“No, please don’t feel like that. It’s just something that had just recently started happening, something I really just can’t fix…” His voice gets softer and softer the more he spoke.

“Have you spoken to your manager about it?” I asked. “He’s super nice from what I understand. And he’ll probably have better answers than your friend who can barely play the piano, let alone produce an entire song.”

Jake laughed before I had the chance to. “ See, now you're underestimating yourself. Remember that song from freshman year? The one about-- what was his name, Josh?” Jake teased. I grabbed a pillow and slammed it into the back of his head. “Oh my gosh, I thought we promised we’d never bring it up again!”

Jake chuckled and laid his arm on the couch completely turning towards me. “How about we sneak out and go get ice cream and try to not wake up your mom in the process?”

I suddenly jumped to my feet when I have the perfect idea on how to cheer up the gloomy Mr. Shim. “Or, we could do something even better!”

“Urgh!” Jake groaned.

I grabbed my phone and hooked it up to the speaker. I was going to turn on his hit song Drunk-Dazed as a joke, but Jake needed this break from his career, so instead, I crunk up Beyonce as loud as it could go without disturbing my mom who slept upstairs. I turn back to Jake and reach out for his hands, already moving my hips to the music.

He shook his head and threw it back onto the couch as if throwing a temper tantrum. “I literally dance for a living.”

“Okay but this will be different, I promise.” I grabbed the piles of papers on the ground and threw them in the trash, I then pushed the coffee table near the wall and piled his folders and books neatly on top.

“Come on, cowboy!” I grabbed his hands and helped him up. He was reluctant to get up, but he threw one last groan before standing on his feet.

“This will get the brain juices flowing again!” I told him. I go back to my phone and switch it to one of my favorite Beyonce songs that she covered, At Last.

I sang dramatically to get Jake to smile, and luckily, it worked. I placed both my hands over his shoulders and swayed us back and forth, still miming the song as overly exaggerated as I could. Jake still couldn’t help but smile, and it didn’t take him long to join me in the rhythm and sway naturally with me. I learned at our middle school dance that Jake had perfect rhythm. He was able to impress the rest of the crowd when he busted out moves from BTS. Everyone was impressed, including me.

Now we were on a steady roll. I accidentally stepped on his feet a few times, but it was fine seeing as I was wearing foam flip-flops and he was barefooted. After a while, the song switched and played another of my favorites that didn’t match our style of dance, but we still moved slowly to the beat. Jake tried twirling me, but since I have two left feet, I almost ended up hitting the wall each time and Jake laughed loud at my clumsiness. The moonlight from the kitchen had now switched to the window in the living room. It gleamed through and glistened on Jake like a spotlight, just like the ones on the stage did for him. In a split second, I was reminded that he wouldn’t be here forever, just like he wasn’t here for the past year. I tried to not let it settle on my face that I was scared to see him go again, so I played up on the fun we were having now. Jake looked like he was at ease; finally, since he’d been here, he looked genuinely happy and I wasn’t going to ruin that.

After another handful of songs full of laughs and giggles, we were soon sweating and taking deeper breaths than normal. Each song was different from the one before, but it didn’t stop us from sticking to our style of dance. Even with the simplicity of the moves and the slowness of the steps, I had to take a minute to relax. I hooked my arms around his neck and rested my entire body on his. I could feel Jake’s own sweat seeping through his shirt, But I didn’t mind the wetness that was now attached to my cheek. I thought he would act awkward and ask for me to pull away, but instead, he gripped tighter on my hips and started slowly moving me side to side. I let out a long overdue sigh, trying my best to match the steady breathing of Jake’s with my own. It was actually therapeutic: hearing his heartbeat in one ear and the softness of the music in the other.

I tried to continue our steady breathing together, but his had picked up a bit, almost out of nowhere. I felt the heat of his breath on the nape of my neck, and it made my entire body tingle in a way it never had before. After this sudden feeling, I realized just how close we really were. His leg hair tickled my legs, I could feel the bone of his foot connecting to mine, I could feel his thin waist against mine as well. I felt like I needed to back up, but instead, I couldn’t and continued to sway softly against him. A few seconds later, Jake’s hands rose a little higher, planting themselves on my waist and tightening their grip as if they were trying to pull me closer than we already were.

The sensation hadn’t stopped though, it clung to my body like my damp shorts did on my thighs. Sooner or later I felt pressure on the lower part of my stomach and thought for sure that Jake was messing around and wasn’t feeling what I was, which indicated that I needed to pull back before this feeling became too much.

This is so embarrassing. I thought. How could I let myself feel like this? How was this in any way okay? I finally pulled back, the sensation becoming too unbearable, and glanced up at his face. His pupils were large in a way I hadn’t seen before. His mouth was slightly open and a drop of sweat slowly traced down his forehead, onto his nose. That pressure I was feeling on my stomach had now doubled in force, and Jake's face had switched from calm and subtle, to alarmed and panicked...

————✧————

(part 2 possibly...?)

Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please, leave any constructive criticism you have on helping improve my writing!

————✧————

None of the images are mine, They all belong to their rightful owners :)

[xpeachesncream]

bands | thirteen

[ series masterlist ]

summary: jeon jungkook has it all: the looks, the fame, the money, the women. being considered the sexiest man in the industry, he finds no complaints about the way his life is going nor does he find any reason to apologize for the way he approaches it. he is a force to be reckoned with - until he meets you.

pairing: stripper!reader x idol!jjk

genre: (18+) strip club/nightlife au, post grad au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, slight degradation, trouble stirring behind the scenes if you squint, yeonjun and soobin (txt) make an appearance but also as reg 18 yr olds lol

tags: @brightcolorsoffendme​ @min-nicoleee​ @eggbutnotyolk​ @ra-mun-e @miinoongi​ @jimidol​ @ppeachyttae​ @thebeebi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @kooafraid​ @liriaus​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @ggukkieland​ @preciouschimine​ @sunniejinnie​ @cypheruby​ @cyb3rbab3​ @masterlists101​ @awhnamjoon​ @redhedhoseok​ @wooya1224​ @taeismydeath @jikookiekosmos​ @un2-verse​ @aynsx​ @wearenot7withu​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"BTS' Jeon Jungkook rumored to be dating stripper from nightclub!"

"Jungkook is no longer single, ladies!"

"Jeon Jungkook is dating a stripper? Why the hell is he doing that?"

"Who the hell does she think she is? I bet she's not even pretty."

"Jungkook fell for a stripper? Out of all people? Damn, and I thought he was better than that."

Jungkook has been tired, the rumors constantly being spread day in and day out. But, it still didn't mean he was gonna say shit to prove himself to people out there. He didn't need to give anybody answers. Hell, this was strictly between you and him and that's how he wants to keep it.

Fuck every single one of you who didn't wanna be behind him and support him. Don't even think about calling yourself a fan of his if that's your mindset.

He could truly care less. He was happy and he felt ten times better than he has in a really long time. It's unfortunate how people love to stay narrow minded. The only thing that bothered him was the fact that it was so unfair for you - how they stuck to that stripper image, rather than really getting to know you beneath the surface.

But it's not like anyone else deserved to know the real you, not after all this shit. And he was gonna keep it that way, and protect you.

"Hey, don't listen to any of that shit, okay?" Jungkook says as he meets you in your car in the BigHit building garage. "None of that matters to me."

"I know, but Kook." You look at him. "Your career, BigHit literally might not even want me here and-and—"

"Then I'll make sure they understand it's not an issue, because it's really fucking not." He says, getting irritated only at the thought of the company giving him issues over you. He watches as you slightly frown, causing him to sigh and soften his own facial expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get worked up like that. It's just annoying how people are narrow-minded. This has absolutely nothing to do with you." You give him a small smile. "Come on, I'll walk you." You silently nod and hop out of your car. You follow beside him, your stomach in knots having to meet with their performance director. This meant you'd also most likely run into the rest of Bangtan.

In which happens to turn true pretty quickly.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok says loudly down the hallway as he approaches the both of you. He does nothing besides smile, curiosity definitely filling his eyes.

"This is Y/N. Y/N, Hoseok hyung." He holds out his hand for you to shake, his head tilting ever so slightly because you know he's familiar with your face. He's just trying to remember from where. Or, he has recognized you, but he's trying his hardest not to say anything.

Cause they have seen all of you, especially in that fishnet bodysuit.

"Hi! Nice to meet you! You can call me Hobi for short. Are you meeting with someone?" You nod.

"Yeah." Is all you can reply with as you shyly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Nice, goodluck!"

"Is everyone else here?" Jungkook asks, making Hobi nod.

"Yeah, but they're still running through some stuff in the dance studio. I just ran off to take a break."

"Okay." Jungkook looks at you. "Follow me, he's in one of the private studio rooms." You both part ways from Hoseok, the need to clutch onto Jungkook's arm immensely strong right now. You hold yourself off though, because even with passing a few female staff members, you catch them looking at you oddly with the way you're walking side by side with Jungkook.

Nope. Don't even think about it, Y/N. It doesn't matter.

Jungkook knocks softly on a door, the middle of it being made up of entirely frosted glass so it's difficult to see inside. Their performance director opens the door swiftly and welcomes you in with a warm smile, stepping aside to let you in.

"I've got it from here, Jungkookie. Thank you." Jungkook nods but tries to peek through the door to get one last glimpse of your face before he shuts it fully. "How are you doing, Y/N?" He sits in front of you, leaning onto his knees with his hands fully clasped together.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good, tired." He chuckles. "Thanks for taking my call earlier and for meeting at such short notice on a weekend. I had a couple of things come up and didn't want to push things off until later." You smile.

"It's no problem."

"Jungkook tells me a lot about you."

"Does he now?" You chuckle and tilt your head to the side.

"Says you're a really good person. Super hardworking. Told me a little bit about your situation with your brother."

"Mmyeah, it's a little complicated."

"It's alright, no need to get into the details." He smiles before letting out a small sigh. "It's incredibly rare for me to hear Jungkook speak like that. In general. He's usually very closed off, doesn't like to let people in much. He really respects you, you know? Cares about you a whole lot." You slightly blush.

"I'm still getting used to it." He chuckled.

"Look, I know you've been worrying because of where you've been and all that, but I want to reassure you that none of it matters. I don't like to focus on all that. You're here as you, not her." He says, putting another pronoun to your stripper persona.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." He nods. There's a small pause before he begins to speak again.

"I could really use some help around here if you're still interested? The boys are becoming a lot for me to handle."

"Ah-uh, yeah! Of course I am." You found yourself stuttering at the sudden offer. Was this fucking real?! "But, you are aware of where me and Jungkook are at, right?" You ask, trying to be completely transparent and honest about their relationship. He nods and waves his hand out.

"As long as you keep it professional here, right?" You nod.

"Right."

"Come, let me show you around really quickly and have you formally meet the boys." You swallowed the lump in your throat. Fucking great. He definitely didn't know they've all seen your titties and pussy out during Yoongi's birthday, and now here you were - about to meet them again in this environment. Hobi was awkward enough even though he tried not to be.

Surprisingly, Jungkook wasn't waiting outside in the hallway like you thought he would be, but the tour commences and the PD is taking you around pretty quickly. You feel even more awkward and somewhat alone [even though you weren't] without Jungkook nearby, but you chug along and say your hello's to the people you're introduced to. He finally brings you into the dance studio, where there's loud ass music blasting, Jungkook, the boys and some backup dancers in front of the mirrors fooling around.

"Aye boys, come here real quick." You and Jimin lock eyes and your body suddenly gets tense. The room feels 10x hotter than it already is, especially when he slowly walks over and clenches his jaw. He is literally seeping with hate right now, maybe actually disgust, and he doesn't even try to hide it. Most of them for sure recognize you, but they seem to brush it off and give you a big wave/smile anyway.

"Last, that's Jimin - Jimin, Y/N." You give Jimin a fake smile, and the only thing his ass can reciprocate is the smallest, tight-lipped smile you have ever seen. You've never even seen your mom do that when she got mad or upset with you.

"Hi." Is all you can say.

"Sup." He looks at you before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Ooookay?" Namjoon furrows his brows as he watches Jimin walk away so rudely. "The hell was that about?"

"I knew that was Kookie's girlfriend! Maybe Jiminie remembers seeing her titties and shit too, needs to walk away before he gets his ass beat by him." Yoongi says lowly behind Namjoon.

"Yeah, like you're any better." Namjoon says, looking at Yoongi weirdly.

"I mean, we did see her practically naked." Jin says, chiming into the discussion.

"I touched her." Yoongi's mouth slightly hangs down. "I touched her."

"Go ahead, say it louder so Kookie can hear you." Jin nods sarcastically. "Go, say it!"

"No, stop." Yoongi's cheeks turn red while shaking his head and laughing. "He'll literally launch me out the window with one hand."

"Good."

"You asked for her to sit on your lap too, bro!"

"I was joking, and it's not like she did it anyway!"

"Whatever, I'm keeping my birthday deep in my memory storage."

"Clean slate for her so it should be for you too, my guy." Namjoon says as he has enough of their conversation.

You look at Jungkook who is silently standing there, looking like a big dork with a huge smile on his face and his thumbs up. You give him the tiniest nod before proceeding to follow the PD out.

"So?!" Jungkook dashes to meet you in their waiting room area, where an abnormally large picture of Jimin posing oddly hung up.

"He said he'll send me all the info and papers and stuff!" You respond excitedly as Kook hugs you and quickly swings you around.

"See, I knew it would work out!" He puts you down. "Are you gonna tell Kai?" You shook your head.

"Not today at least, it's his birthday and I don't wanna take away from that. It's his day." Jungkook smiles at you.

"Text me when you've picked him up? I should be home by then."

"Okay." You blush and back away, making Jungkook look at you with confusion. "I have to keep it professional here, duh."

"Ah I see." He chuckles. "That won't last very long."

"Jungkook." You whine.

"There's a lot of private rooms here and—"

"I'm not listening, sorry. I think Kai is suddenly calling me." You cover your ears as you begin to walk away, giving him one last smile before leaving him to the rest of rehearsals and whatever else they're doing. He laughs to himself as he waves you off, excited to get through the day so he can just spend time with you and Kai.

As the hours go on and it's about time for you to pick Kai up, you quickly stop by the store because you're a procrastinator and didn't buy Kai's birthday gift any earlier. You felt bad you weren't able to find the shoes he wanted, but you at least snagged the video game he had been talking about for a couple of days now. Before walking into the arcade, you made sure to write your birthday card and slip some more money into it before shoving it in your bag to give to him later.

"Your pretty sister is here." Yeonjun grabs Kai by the shoulder as he finishes up a game.

"Yeah, and you're too young for her."

"Age is nothing but a number. It's only like.. 6 years apart."

"Besides, she's taken, dude. Sorry." Kai snorts as he watches Yeonjun's smile fade. "You would have never had the chance."

"You're mean."

"I'm mean, or you just have really high, unrealistic expectations?" The rest of their friends laugh as they follow Kai over to you.

"Hey!" You smile at all his friends.

"Hiiiiii Y/N." They all say in unison, some waving in awe, while the others shyly dug their hands into their pockets. "Birthday boy, you all good to go? Got some good Loco Moco waiting for you."

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Happy birthday again, Kai! Get online later!" Soobin yells out.

"Yeah, yeah." He says, waving them off as he follows you out to your car.

"You guys run through the entire arcade?" Kai laughs.

"Pretty much." He sinks into his seat, legs damn near touching the glove compartment with how long he is. "I'm honestly so excited for Loco Moco. It's been years!"

"It has not been that long." You laughed.

"You're right, it's been months." Kai looks out the window. "Wait, you're passing the road to get to our go-to shop though?"

"Cause I found a better place."

"How is there a better place when that one was already supreme?!"

"Hey, trust me on this okay?" You laugh. Kai starts telling you about his day and how so many people he knew from school had been messaging him happy birthday. He truly looked his happiest today and it was all you could ask for. Though at the same time, your heart slightly sank at the fact that he'd be going off to uni soon and staying at the dorms. He was just growing up way too fast, and you wanted to spend as much time as you could with him now before he was too occupied being a college boy.

You slipped yourself past Jungkook's security, parking in the one guest spot they have in the garage that's closest to the elevator. Kai doesn't really question it and hops out anyway, his hands in his pockets as he follows you into the elevator and onto Jungkook's floor.

"You ready, kid?"

"Is this some like, Michelin Star Loco Moco restaurant?"

"Ah, I guess you could say that." You knocked on the door, hearing music playing in the background. Jungkook opens the door and Kai's eyes widen.

"Oh shit, that's Jungkook?" Kook laughs and steps aside to let you both in. "Sis why—what—how come you didn't tell me we were seeing your boyfriend? I look like a mess!" He says lowly.

"You don't!"

"Hey Kai! Happy Birthday!" Jungkook says smiling, making Kai actually blush. He's cheeks are tinted with a rosy color and he suddenly gets all shy.

"Thanks."

"Your brother's tall." Jungkook looks at him up and down.

"Looking at an 18 year old 6 footer."

"Must be nice."

"Go sit." Kai silently nods as he sits awkwardly on Kook's couch, while you go and check in on him in the kitchen.

"Is he always that shy?"

"No. Just with you, apparently. He's not even that shy around girls." You chuckle as he places a quick kiss on your head. "Need my help?" You still ask even though the plates are neatly prepared already.

"Not really." He smiles down at you. "You hungry though?"

"Starving, actually." Your eyes light up at the plates. "Ouuuuuu, yum."

"Honestly, I think this batch might be better than my first."

"Still honored to be your guinea pig." You carry a plate over to Jungkook's coffee table in the living room.

"Oh shit, that looks amazing." Kai says, slipping himself down from the couch to the floor so he could get a good whiff of the plate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook hands you the remote before walking into his room. "Pick something."

"Here, birthday boy. Help me choose."

"Let's watch Soul on Disney+." At this point, Jungkook comes out of his room with a wrapped present, his eyes locked on the TV.

"Ooh, I keep seeing this everywhere! Niceeeee." Jungkook says, smiling with Kai nodding and already digging into his plate. "By the way, this is for you." You shoot him a look as he sits on the floor by you, watching as Kai unwraps the present. Kai's eyes light up as he sees a shoebox underneath the wrapping, quickly flipping the lid open to reveal those blue Air Jordans he wanted.

"Kook?!" You say lowly, making him smile at you and gently pinch your side.

"Holy shit!" He holds out a shoe, only for him to immediately shake his head and close the box again. "Jungkook, I can't take this." Kai says.

"No, it's your birthday."

"Yeah, but isn't this expensive? You've already done so much for me and my sister, I-I don't want to—"

"Kai, it's cool. If it's one thing you can do to repay me, it's to take my present." You literally want to cry at how sweet Jungkook is being with your brother. He had been good to you, no doubt, but this was one thing you didn't expect from him at all. Quite frankly, you had forgotten you mentioned the shoes to him. The fact that he actually remembered and kept his word.

"Okay." Kai says, gently setting the box down aside before looking at Jungkook with a small smile on his face. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. Like, even with the food and everything. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." You give him a soft smile before digging into your food while Soul was already off to a start. Kai and Jungkook devour their food together, with you following shortly behind as Jungkook brings over a small ice cream cake from his fridge for Kai to blow his candles on. After the boys had helped themselves to a good serving of the cake, they started getting hyper and pulled up Smash Bros on Kook's Nintendo Switch [as if Kai hadn't played enough games today]. It started to get intense; the boys jumping and yelling everywhere, bouncing off of the walls, with you getting pulled into the competition every now and then. Even though you knew you'd lost over and over again, you happily joined in anyway, seeing how excited your brother was - plus, it was always a bonus to hear Jungkook's loudly obnoxious, nerdy laugh.

"I WIN!"

"Hey, hey, hey. I let you win because it's your birthday." Jungkook said, making Kai laugh as he crashed to the floor.

"Sure." Kai huffed and puffed. "Crap, I'm tired. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight. We should start heading out, bubba." You patted Kai's chest gently.

"What? No, it's late. Why don't you two just stay here?" You suddenly remembered you've had Kai's shit in your trunk since you dropped him off at Yeonjun's this morning. You didn't have any change of clothes, but that could easily be fixed with Jungkook's closet.

"Only if the queen wants, she's driving."

"It's late, baby." Jungkook says to you softly. "No way I'm letting you two head out there."

"Okay." You give him a small smile before handing your keys. "Can you do me a favor?" He chuckles.

"What is it?"

"Kai's duffle bag is in my trunk." He nods and takes your keys.

"I got it. Kai, you can take the guest room or my office room." Jungkook says with his 3-bedroom apartment having ass. "I have my computer in my office room though, and a pull out bed. I don't know how comfy you'll be."

"It's cool, I'll just take your guest room. I always bring my laptop and switch whenever I sleep at my sister's." Kai says getting up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jungkook says, toothlessly smiling at the both of you, completely endeared at how alike you two were - even down to the fact that you both said thank you for every little thing. If this was a result of Kai being close to you and having you as pretty much his mother figure, then Jungkook wouldn't know what to do with his feelings. He felt butterflies every time he thought about how cute and sweet you were, and he was always excited to be around you.

Jungkook does a quick jog to your car, grabbing Kai's Nike duffle from your trunk before jogging back to the elevator and back to his apartment. He walks in to see Kai helping you clean up the remaining dishes in the sink, tidying the rest of the things in his kitchen.

"Thank you." Jungkook says himself, a little unfamiliar with saying such a thing to be completely honest.

"You're welcome." You say softly, wiping your hands on his hand towel. "Off to bed, or are you gonna go online with your friends?"

"I'll see what they're up to, but I'm pretty beat. Today was fun." Kai smiles at the both of you. "I really appreciate it." You ruffle his hair a bit before gently pushing him towards his bedroom for the night.

"Bathroom's right over there, help yourself to anything you need."

"Don't stay up too late."

"Only if you aren't too loud." You gasp while Jungkook laughs out loud.

"Kai!"

"Hey, I'm just being honest. Please remember that I'm right in this room."

"Oh my god, go to bed." You shove him inside the room and shut his door. "Don't even say a word." You look at Jungkook shyly as you hurriedly brush past him to get into his room - even though Jungkook is literally right behind you with those long ass legs of his, making every stride so much easier for him to catch up to you.

"What's your outfit of choice tonight, pretty lady?" He shuts his door behind him as you start to make your way into his closet.

"Hm, I'll just wear this plain black--" You unfold it. "Balenciaga? Okay, I definitely can't just wear this to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Because this is like, name brand and everything."

"So?" He shrugs. "Just wear it, babygirl. It's not gonna make much of a difference, you're wearing it either way." You do a slight pout before you start to slip out of your clothes to get into his shirt. You make his way to his bathroom to take a little tinkle when you notice another toothbrush sitting next to his. A pink toothbrush, next to his blue one.

"Why do you have two toothbrushes?" You wash your hands as he comes in to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed.

"That's yours." Your eyes light up at his statement.

"Mine?"

"I figured since you'd be over more, it'd be easier for you." He furrows his brows lightly. "Unless.. you didn't want--" You press a kiss against his lips, his hands resting on your arms to keep you close.

"No, I did want that. Thank you."

"Of course, baby." He pecks your forehead.

"By the way, way to make me look like such a bad sister!" You say as you start getting your toothbrush ready.

"Why? The shoes?"

"The shoes, the Loco Moco, the games, the ice cream cake." You laughed. "I literally got him a video game and some money."

"I mean, he is turning 18. I wanted to help make it as memorable as possible."

"I appreciate you a lot. Really."

"I appreciate you too." Your eyes widen as you brush your teeth.

"Waaaaow, say thaht wun mohr tiyme." You say, pulling a Jungkook while brushing your teeth.

"Eye apprushiate yoh toh." You giggle. The both of you finish getting ready for bed before slipping into his warm sheets. Jungkook never goes to sleep early, however, he makes sure all the lights are off and that the show he's watching isn't too loud. You have no idea what's going on in his show, but you lay on his chest to watch for a little bit until you feel yourself getting a little more sleepy. He's holding you close, his hand brushing through your hair softly, causing tingles to ripple through your body.

"Kook."

"Yes, baby?"

"You make me happy." You say sleepily as you hung him tighter. He smiles down at you, your eyes now shut close as you slowly start to drift into a deep sleep. He presses a light kiss against your head, fingers still in your hair.

"You make me happy too, sweetheart."

[mercy-burning]

Hangover Duty

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader’s birthday party leads to some rather endearing drunk antics. Category: Fluff Warnings: Mild language, alcohol consumption, mentions of the prison arc (is that a proper content warning? idk lol) (As always, if there’s anything I missed, please let me know what I should include in content warnings! I always want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 4.4k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Funny story, I woke up at like 3 in the morning last night and just sat up and cranked this out in one go, unprompted. I’m not sure why inspiration struck that late (early?) but I’m rather proud of this one considering I just woke up to edit it a few hours ago 😂, I hope you like it!

***

Watching her gradually get more drunk as the night went on had to be the most amusing and incredibly endearing way to get back into the groove of things. It was nice, actually, being able to have a good time with his friends without constantly being reminded of what's happened in the past year.

Especially considering this year Spencer was determined not to miss Y/N's birthday. Last year he'd been in prison, and rather than being able to celebrate with her and their friends, rather than getting her a card or writing her a letter, she'd written him a letter that detailed in depth how she refused to celebrate until her best friend was there to celebrate with them. Of course he felt awful about the whole thing, and when JJ had dropped off the letters that week, he made her tell Y/N how sorry he was and how he wished more than anything that he could have been there.

And naturally, after dealing with Cat another time and settling his mom down, the first chance he got, he told Y/N himself.

She was in the hospital after that incident with Mr. Scratch. She was the first person he saw in the hospital, and she was fine, arguing with the doctors about leaving to help her team. But once he showed up, telling the doctors he could get her to sit down, they left, and he pulled her in for the biggest hug they'd ever shared.

And the first thing he told her was, "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."

She'd only laughed and squeezed him tighter, replying with a short, yet simple, "Shut up."

He promised to himself then that no matter what happened, he would never miss another one of her birthdays again.

Since it was the first one since all that had happened, Spencer planned something a little extra special. Weeks ahead of time, he talked to Rossi about being able to rent out a bar for the night, Y/N's favorite bar to be exact. Just for themselves. As to be expected, it took a bit of convincing, but eventually they'd been able to successfully rent out the bar for one night, and though Rossi was insistent on paying everything, Spencer wanted to offer as much as he could.

Penelope, of course, insisted on putting up decorations. She roped Luke into helping her, and though he played off like it would be torture, for one thing he was happy to help celebrate his friend's birthday in any way he could, but he also was terrible at hiding the fact that he was more than happy to help Penelope with anything she needed, whether it actually pertained to the party or not.

Everyone told her they were all just going to meet up for drinks after work that day. Y/N was more than okay with it, explaining to them how she was just happy to be able to spend her birthday with her friends no matter where they were. They told her to meet at 7pm when in reality they would all be at the bar an hour and a half early to set up and make sure everything was perfect.

When Y/N actually showed up, Spencer had never seen her so radiant. Even as she was swarmed by Garcia putting on a pink party hat for her that promptly read "Birthday Girl", her hair slightly out of place because of its placement on her head, she was the perfect example of human perfection. She greeted everyone with a huge, beautiful smile accompanied by lots of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, and when she finally got to Spencer, he tried not t hold her to him for too long.

One of the reasons Y/N loved this specific bar was because of the karaoke machine. In fact, drunken karaoke was a decent weekly occurrence with the BAU, and while they'd been no strangers to the act, it only became more frequent when Y/N joined the team. For years now they'd spent many hours singing just as many songs as anyone could think of. And even while drunk, Y/N was a natural. She slipped up on words and slurred them together once in a while, sure, but her voice was easily the most impressive of the bunch, not to mention she never failed to get anyone and everyone to join in.

All that to say Spencer made sure they would be able to use the karaoke machine before they rented out the place. He even attempted to teach himself how to work it, but try as he might, he ended up calling on JJ to help him do it.

Throughout the night they all took turns singing songs, and at one point Y/N finished a song and made a speech, standing up on the bar. (Deep down Spencer was a little nervous that she would hurt herself, or that somehow the owner of the bar would find out that she'd broken one of many rules he had about renting the place out. But that was neither here nor there when he saw the glowing smile she had on her face, looking at all her friends with the most love and admiration he'd seen anyone carry in a while.)

"I'm jussali'l tipsy at the moment, so m'sorry if I don't make any sense," Y/N slurred together, obviously very drunk. Everyone laughed and she continued, clutching the microphone in one hand and placing the other over her heart like she was going to say the Pledge of Allegiance. "I jusneed to say how much I love y'guys. Thank you for celebratin' with me and makin' my birthday real special. I'mean, you fricken rented out a whole-ass bar! That's so nice!"

As she squealed out the last sentence, Spencer couldn't help the wide smile that broke out on his face. She was just so radiant, glowing with warmth and love and happiness and everything good in the world.

She was also struggling to get off the bar. He rushed forward to help her, and she fell forward, into his arms with a giggle.

"You okay?" he asked, his concern blowing away in the wind when she looked into his eyes with another winning smile.

"No thanks t'you," she answered, promptly 'boop'-ing him on the nose before she reached over to the bar and grabbed a full shot glass. After downing the drink, she brushed passed him with a slap on the butt and another giggle, right before she loudly asked Penelope to cut her another slice of cake.

Spencer knew she wouldn't have been so bold had she been sober, but the whole situation still made him feel all warm inside, like he'd taken a shot of whiskey himself.

Luke came up to him, clapping him on the back and snapping him out of it. "This mean you and the birthday girl are finally a thing now?"

"W—what? I don't know what you mean..."

He was obviously lying, and Luke could tell. He laughed a little, nodding towards Y/N, who was currently laughing with Emily and Penelope, a bright blue smudge of frosting on her nose. "She really missed you when you were gone, man. Even put her birthday on hold until she could celebrate with you."

"Well, we've been best friends for years, and she loves her birthday. It was... A hard year. It makes sense."

"Okay, that's fair, but do you know how bad it was? No presents, no birthday wishes, nothing. She demanded we act like it was any other day. And when I brought her a cupcake, she just set it on your desk and left it there. It sat there for about a week before she finally threw it out."

Spencer looked at where she was standing, eating more cake and swaying lightly to the music that was now playing over the speakers. "Really," he mused, not even thinking about it.

Luke sighed beside him. "Look, you can... believe what you want, but we've all noticed it. You two are practically inseparable, and the way I'm seeing you look at her right now tells me everything I need to know."

Even being called out like that, Spencer couldn't make himself look away. And even if he did, he wouldn't have really known what to say. Because all that was running through his mind at the moment was how right Luke was. How much he couldn't help but feel warm and safe when he was in Y/N's presence, and how she made him feel like the only person in the world sometimes.

He wondered then if maybe in the next day or two he should tell her how he felt.

One by one each member of the team eventually left the bar to go home. Each time one of them did, Y/N gave them the biggest hug and mumbled an abundance of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, much like at the start of the night, only this time her words were slurred and higher-pitched and very much laced with alcohol.

The only three people left at the end of the night were her, Spencer, and Emily.

Y/N came up between them and wrapped both her arms around their shoulders, pulling them in for a messy group-hug. "How'r we gonna clean this place up?" she asked dramatically, looking around once they all pulled away.

"I'm going to clean this place up," Emily said, giving Spencer a knowing look. "Since it's your birthday, your best friend here is going to make sure you get home safe and sound."

He definitely didn't see that coming, but somehow he felt like he should have. Regardless, he was more than happy to take the job. Especially when Y/N jumped up and down and threw her arms around him, giving a big old, "Yaaayyyy!" into his neck. She pulled away and gripped his shirt, bouncing on her feet with a large grin. "We can take my car and we can listen t'that CD I was tellin' you about and when we get t'my house we can have a sleepover!"

"Anything you want," he told her with a smile. "Go get your stuff together and we'll go."

As she wandered around the bar to find her shoes that she'd taken off somewhere along the line, Emily nudged Spencer with a smile. "She loves you, you know."

"She's drunk," he countered.

And as if on cue, right then she held one of her shoes up in the air with a triumphant gleam in her eye. "One down!"

"Okay, well, even when she's not drunk, she still loves you."

Though his heart swelled at the thought, he changed the subject. "You don't have to clean everything up. I was going to come back tomorrow morning and do it myself anyway."

"Eh, don't worry, I'm happy to do it." Emily nodded towards Y/N, who was walking around with one shoe on and picking up the other on the floor next to the cake table. "Besides, something tells me you're gonna be a bit preoccupied with hangover duty."

I wouldn't want any other job, he thought to himself.

And even though the nearly-impossible task of getting her into the car should have stressed him out (she kept getting out of the car as Spencer walked around to the driver's side, until finally he promised her a cheeseburger if she would stay), he still wouldn't have had it any other way.

They stopped at McDonald's on the way home, like he promised, and she was practically buzzing with happiness with the food in her lap. She made him sit in the parking lot and wait until she was done eating so she wouldn't spill anything. And in the dim light of the car, parked under a streetlight and watching her eat her food while she rambled on about the most random things, Spencer didn't think he'd ever felt more content.

He tried to keep her quiet as they made their way up the steps to the third floor of her apartment building. They were going to take the elevator but Y/N insisted it would eat her alive, and he quickly agreed to take the stairs as not to make a scene and wake everyone up with her crying. Her shoes came off again on the second flight of stairs, because she kept tripping and then laughing, pretending to fall back and almost scaring him to death.

Now he was unlocking her apartment door with her shoes in his other hand as she clung to his side. As soon as the door was open, she pushed past him and called out for her cat, Murphy. It didn't take long before the white cat jumped up on the counter to meet her, and she squealed and enveloped him in a crushing hug, picking him up and spinning around to meet Spencer, who was closing the door behind him and setting her shoes on the ground.

"Say hi to Murphy! He loves when you come to visit!"

It was true. Though he never really found himself fond of cats, as soon as he visited Y/N's apartment for the first time Murphy clung to him immediately. It didn't take long for the two of them to become as well acquainted as Y/N had been to either of them. Whenever he came over, Spencer liked to think of them as a small little family.

"Hey, Murph," he said, reaching out to pet the cat's head as he wriggled a little under Y/N's strong clutch.

She dropped him after shoving her face in his fur, and wasted no time taking Spencer's hand. "C'mon, I've got some vodka in the cupboard."

As she dragged him further into the kitchen, he squeezed her hand and tried to pull her to him, away from the cupboard. "Y/N, it's almost one in the morning, you need to go to bed."

She turned to face him and whined. "But it's my birthday, you can't make me."

"Well, technically it isn't your birthday anymore since it's past midnight. So, really, I can make you. Come on."

She whined again as he dragged her along to the bedroom. Once they got inside, he sat her down on the bed and reached out to pull off her party hat, which was lopsided and almost placed on her forehead like a unicorn horn. But when he touched the string, she grabbed his hand.

"I wanna leave it on," she said softly.

"It's not safe, you could choke yourself in your sleep," Spencer countered, brushing her hand away and taking the hat off. As his fingers brushed her cheek, she sighed and closed her eyes, a few seconds before letting out a little giggle.

"That tickled," she laughed as he set the hat on her bedside table.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he started to feel all warm again. "Sorry," he whispered, taking the time to memorize the way she looked right then. The curls in her hair had fallen flat, and her makeup was a little smudged, but the lazy smile on her face and the way she blinked up at him with her big, beautiful eyes would always be worth remembering. He could have stayed in that moment forever, just sitting in that comforting silence.

But alas, she was drunk, and unable to be quiet for more than ten seconds.

Y/N lightly poked him in the chest and laughed. "Hey, d'y'think Murphy ever gets tired?"

"I'm sure he does," was all Spencer said, trying to get her to lay down. She did so as she spoke, rambling on about what she thought her cat might have done when she was away at work. But she stopped talking altogether when Spencer tried to put a blanket over her.

"No," was all she said, kicking her legs up.

"You don't want a blanket?"

"No, I want you to be in the blanket with me."

He thought about it for a second before motioning for her to scoot over. "I'll lay with you for a little while, but you have to promise me you'll go to sleep, okay?"

She giggled triumphantly as he laid down beside her and draped the blanket over their legs. "I told'ya a sleepover would be fun."

Spencer reached out and lightly rubbed her arm, knowing that always got her to fall asleep. "I know you did."

But she didn't close her eyes. She was unusually quiet though, just silently staring at his face before she sharply pulled her arm away. "You're tickling me again."

"I thought you liked when I rub your arm, it helps you sleep," is all he said.

Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled it up to lay between them on the pillow, separating their faces. She placed it palm up and rolled up his sleeves so she could rub his forearm, too. Her touches weren't as light, but she giggled all the same. "Am I tickling you?"

He wanted to tell her the truth, which was that she was not tickling him, and it actually felt really nice. But because it might make her feel better, he lied, and told her, "Yes."

"Good," she laughed, moving her hand faster. Now she was just tracing his forearm with her middle finger like she might rub out a stain on the carpet, and Spencer tried to wiggle his arm away.

"Y/N..."

He didn't say it to be mean or irritated, in fact his voice was level and soothing as not to alarm her at all, but all the same she gasped and immediately pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"No," he reassured, moving a little closer to her. "You didn't hurt me, I'm ok—"

"Let me kiss it and make it feel better," she continued, ignoring him completely. Before he could stop her, she grabbed his arm and brought it to her mouth, pressing gentle lips to the crease of his elbow trough the fabric of his shirt, then moving the tiny kisses along up his arm until she made it to his wrist. She didn't stop there, continuing to kiss the palm of his hand and even along his fingers, right until she reached his fingertips.

He laid there, completely still and mesmerized as she flipped his arm over and worked her way down again, kissing the backside of his hand and keeping her lips pressed to his wrist for approximately four seconds. Then she flipped his arm over again and kissed the palm of his hand once more, repeating her many kisses until she got to his middle finger.

He should have seen it coming.

He was so caught up in the feeling of her lips pressed against his skin that it completely slipped his mind that she was still drunk. So when she wrapped her lips around his middle finger and sucked it into her mouth with a laugh, he pulled his arm away and sighed.

She actually cackled with laughter, slightly flailing her legs under the blanket. "Gotcha!"

"Ha-ha," Spencer deadpanned, wiping his finger on his shirt.

He wasn't really sure what to say once her laughter died down, but once he opened his mouth to suggest they try sleeping, she spoke first.

"Can I have a glass of water?"

He studied her for a moment. "You're not going to try anything funny, are you?"

She laughed, leaning forward and brushing her nose against his for the briefest of seconds before retreating and looking him in the eye. "I wouldn't dream of it."

There was no way he could say no. "Alright. I'll be back in a second."

Spencer got out of the bed and turned to leave, but she leaned forward and grabbed his hand. "Wait! I have to tell you a secret first."

If he stayed and listened to what she had to say, it was probably dangerous territory, because in the movies this was always the moment where there were drunken confessions of things you never wanted to say out loud, right? And he didn't want to do that to her, but realistically she was probably going to say something ridiculous about Murphy. Right?

Nonetheless, Spencer turned around and looked down at Y/N. "What is it?"

She pulled his hand, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. "Come closer. It's a secret."

He leaned down, but she pulled him again. "Closer!"

Finally, he made his way down to her face, turning his head so she could whisper in his ear.

But she didn't. Instead he felt her press a kiss to his cheek, emphasized with a loud smooch-ing sound when she pulled away. He looked down at her to see the biggest smile on her face.

"S'all I wanted to say. You can go now."

He smiled back at her before nodding and leaving the room, his cheek and arm practically burning from where she'd kissed them.

And when he came back with her water, she was fast asleep.

***

More than anything she just wanted the banging to stop. But once she realized it was in her head, and it was there because she'd been drinking all night, her irritability was even worse.

"Fuck," Y/N grumbled as she struggled to open her eyes. When she did open them she found Murphy curled into a ball at the foot of her bed, his white fur a stark contrast to the deep maroon color of her comforter.

The next thing she noticed was the smell of something... burning? But there wasn't any sound to be heard other than the beating of her head, so she had to wonder if maybe somewhere outside there had been some kind of fire. Or maybe she was just imagining it.

She wasn't going to investigate, but then she heard her front door open, and despite the pounding in her head, Y/N sat up straight, almost scared out of her mind. Instinctively she reached beside her, knocking over a pink party hat in the process, and grabbing the baseball bat she kept there in between her bed and the table.

As quietly as she could, Y/N crept through the bedroom until she reached the door, pressing her ear against it to hear anything more. She heard plastic bags rustling around, and though that was fairly innocent in terms of menacing sounds, it still didn't quell the feeling that punched her in the pit of her stomach. Though, to be fair, she was certain a lot of that had to do with the copious amounts of whiskey and other liquor she drank the night before.

She took a deep breath before slowly swinging the door open and taking a few quiet steps into the hallway, just before she had to turn the corner to get into the kitchen. The noise got louder as she approached, and after taking another slow, deep breath, Y/N jumped out and held her bat out in front of her.

"FBI! What Are you doing in my house?"

"Holy shit!"

Spencer was standing in her smoky kitchen, clutching his hand to his chest. "Y/N, it's just me! Put the bat down!"

It clattered to the ground as she sighed out and shook her head. "What the hell, man, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Right back at you! I was just bringing you some breakfast..."

Y/N surveyed the kitchen and found that, sure enough, there were what looked like wrapped sandwiches on the counter. "Why is it all... burn-y in here? What happened?"

Spencer looked around nervously, his hands fumbling at his sides. "I, uh... tried to make you French toast. I know it's your favorite, and I know that greasy food is supposed to help with hangovers, so I tried to make some bacon, too, but it turns out that I really suck at multi-tasking in the kitchen, and I burned it all... So, I went with gas-station breakfast, which I figured was the next best thing."

The way he spoke reminded Y/N of a little kid who got caught doing something they weren't supposed to. He was extremely apologetic, almost in a way that made her think he thought she'd yell at him.

Now she remembered just a little of what happened the night before. She remembered drinking a lot and then Spencer taking her home, but she was so tired and out of it that all the little details weren't clear. Or present at all, really. All she knew when she looked at him in her kitchen right then, was that she'd never been more happy to see anyone while hungover. Especially since that someone happened to be her best friend and brought her breakfast.

She smiled and walked over to him. "That was really sweet of you, thank you."

Spencer looked down at her and smiled. "Sorry about scaring you."

"Eh, don't be. It was a good wake-up call," she laughed. "What would I do without you?"

He reached his hand out and brushed some of the hair from her face, at which she almost melted. "I think I should be asking you that question."

Something came to her mind just then, and she wasn't sure why. But she took the risk anyway, turning her head and kissing the inside of his palm.

"W—what was that for?"

Y/N shrugged. "I don't know. Just felt right."

She didn't know how long they stood there, smiling at each other, but it felt different, like suddenly the air around them had shifted overnight into something palpably electric. And it's that energy that urged her to say something she'd been afraid to say for so long.

"Hey, I uh... I don't know if this is weird timing, and you can say no even though it was my birthday yesterday, don't feel pressured to say yes, but I—"

"Yes."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I don't care," Spencer said simply. "Whatever it is you want, it's yours."

"So, if... If I asked you to dinner tonight—"

"Yes."

Her stomach churned, but this time it had nothing to do with the hangover. The pounding in her head was more of a dull thrum now because the pounding in her heart overpowered it. And it grew even more intense when her best friend took a step closer, placing his hand to the side of her face.

"I wouldn't kiss me right now if I were you," she warned, tilting her head to the side. "Hangover breath is basically a bio-hazard, and you're going to completely rethink going out with me."

Spencer shook his head and leaned in even closer. "I don't care."

As he kissed her, she lost herself in him completely and came to the conclusion that he was the only hangover cure she would ever need.

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes

[winterscaptain]

spoiled.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: happy valentine’s day! 

words: 2.1k warnings: language, over-the-top valentine’s day shenanigans

summary: “the best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.” - nicholas sparks. au!february 2012

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next?

Aaron leaves rather early in the morning, leaving you in bed complaining with only a kiss for your trouble. 

When you eventually get up, on track to be about fifteen minutes late to the federal building, you find a pair of post-its on the fridge. 

Always the romantic. 

+++

The evening rolls around and finds you on the couch with Jess and Jack. 

“You gonna start getting ready?” Jess asks. “You’ve got a long night ahead of you.” 

You look over at her. “Wait. He told you what we’re doing?”

She nods. “Yeah. You have no idea. He hasn’t done a big Valentine’s Day thing since he surprised Haley in her senior year of college. He’s been looking for an excuse.” 

That’s terrifying. 

“Guess I better get ready then.” 

Jack’s got a funny little smile on his face, but you ignore it. You’re sure the Hotchner boys are in cahoots, but it’s not really worth it to try and wiggle anything out of him. 

You head to the master bedroom to get dressed, throwing off your slouchy day-off clothes in favor of something that can take you to a fancy dinner and whatever else Aaron has planned for your evening.

+++

You walk out of the apartment, hearing Jess lock the door behind you. When you reach the front of the apartment complex, Aaron closes the car door as he hops out, meeting you halfway to the sidewalk. 

“Hello, gorgeous,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

He’s wearing a black button-up, black slacks, and his favorite pair of black oxfords. It’s a sharp look and one he knows you love. 

“You’re looking quite dapper yourself, sir.” 

The boyish grin on his face melts your heart and you take the arm he offers. Like a real gentleman, he opens the door for you and makes sure you’re inside before closing you in.

+++

The drive is quiet. You ask about the office once or twice, but it’s clear there’s nothing significant to report. 

“So...what are we doing tonight?” 

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye. “Dinner. And a few other things.” 

+++

When he says ‘dinner,’ he’s not joking. The restaurant is a high-end, no-prices-on-the-menu type of place. The lighting is low, the environment cozy and quiet. 

He must have planned this months ago. Reservations are like gold on Valentine’s Day. 

Aaron’s squinting at the menu across from you. It makes you laugh. 

“Need a flashlight and your reading glasses?”

“Shut up.” It comes with his own laugh, but he’s still squinting. 

You finally decide on something and order, trusting Aaron’s taste in wine. When the waiter leaves, Aaron reaches across the table for your hand. 

“Okay,” he says. You recognize his tone - it’s professional, like he’s starting a press conference. “No work, no kids, no serial killers.” 

You smile, waiting for him to give you a little more context. 

“How are you?” 

What a question. 

How often does the answer to that question not include work, kids, or serial killers? 

Not very. 

“I’m good.” You mean it. “I’m really good.” 

There’s a small smile on his face. “Why?”

Are you profiling me now, Hotch? 

Deciding to give him shit, you ask, “Why am I good, or is that a more general existential question?” 

He rolls his eyes and you relent. 

“Alright. Well…” You take a breath. “There are a lot of things to be happy about. You, for one thing.” 

“Me?” He asks. He looks genuinely surprised. 

Fool. 

“Yes, you.” You squeeze his hand. “You are my best friend and somehow - somehow - I’ve landed you as my partner. I am living out everything I dreamed of at twenty-five.” 

That pulls another smile from him. “Really?” Again, he looks genuinely surprised. 

Can’t believe I’ve never told this to him. 

Ridiculous

“Oh yeah. I can’t believe you never noticed. I had a huge crush on you - instantly. Derek gave me nothing but hell once he figured it out.” You pause. “Do you remember that time on the plane, really early on, when I woke up and everyone thought I had a nightmare?” 

Looking a little confused by your change in direction, and you don’t blame him. 

“I think so? I remember we all felt so bad.” He shrugs. “We all get them, of course - still do - but we were worried about you.”

“Right. So -” 

Aaron’s head tilts to the left as he interrupts you. “Did you say ‘everyone thought’ it was a nightmare?” 

Your face gets hot and you suddenly regret bringing this up at all. “Yeah. I’m getting to that.” 

With an embarrassed huff, you continue. “So, it wasn’t a nightmare.” 

“No?” The question comes accompanied by a frown. 

“No. It was a sex dream. About you.” 

You can tell he’s doing his best to hide his smile for your benefit, but there’s a threatening dimple that gives him away and you’ve simply known him too long for him to get away with anything. 

“Really?” His tone is neutral, polite, but you can hear the humor behind the apparently bland interest. 

“Yep.” 

“What - if I may ask - was it about? Specifically?” 

You take a breath and adopt the same kind of ironic professionalism as Aaron. “Well, now it doesn’t seem so notable, because i’m more than familiar with your, um, technique.” 

And it’s true. Though you hardly remember the details of the dream anymore - it's been years - you know that real life doesn’t even come close. 

Aaron pulls his hand from yours and steeples his fingers under his chin. He’s the picture of interest, so you continue. 

“The key points are as follows -” 

He holds up a finger, and you stop. “On second thought,” he says. “I think this recollection would be better served by a demonstration.”

You nod. “You’re probably right.” 

“I’ll pencil it in.” 

You grin at each other for a moment, the back-and-forth of it so deeply on brand you can’t help but steep in it for a second. 

“So,” he says, “as you were saying before…?” 

“Right.” 

Back to business. 

“I had a huge crush on you and could swear you were the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.” 

Never one to forgo an opportunity to compliment him when he’s not actively swatting at you, you continue. 

“In the lecture you gave with Gideon and Derek, I knew you were in charge before you said anything. Even though Gideon had the years and experience on you, it was clear that everything came through you.” You attempt to explain the inarticulable. “There’s a kind of steadiness - one you still have - that radiates off of you.” 

The two of you sit in that for a moment. 

You continue. “And then, of course, when we met again I had to really focus on not making an ass of myself in front of Strauss.” 

He laughs. His laughter makes you laugh, of course. It’s so much higher than his speaking register, so delightful in its unexpectedness. 

“Okay, okay.” You stop, covering your face with your hands. “Okay this is cheesy. Promise not to laugh.” 

His eyebrows rise and he forces his mouth into something that only threatens a dimple once more. 

“When you shook my hand in Radner’s office, there was this crazy jolt of energy or something that just flew up my arm. It was wild. I’ve never been able to forget it, almost like a flashbulb memory.”

As promised, he doesn’t laugh. There is, however, a kind of wonder in his eyes when he replies, “You felt that, too?”

+++

After dinner (and dessert), Aaron takes your hand and ushers you into the car when you leave the lod. He doesn’t turn the way you expect. 

“Where are we going?” 

The dashboard casts a glow on his face. You can still spot a dimple in the dark. “You’ll see.” 

+++

Your disbelief only grows when you go deeper into the city and pull up to the Hay-Adams. The valet opens the door for you, while Aaron hands over the keys to his SUV. Once all the details are covered, you take his arm again and let him guide you into the lobby. 

It’s expansive. The Hay-Adams is, of course, one of the most historic buildings in the district and considered one of the best hotels on the East Coast by people who know of these things. 

Aaron confirms the reservation and gets the room cards before promptly finding the elevator and swiping in for the seventh floor. You look down, remembering your attire at the last minute. 

“Aaron, I don’t have my go bag.” 

He shakes his head, still looking forward. “Don’t need it.” 

You scoff. 

He doubles down. “Do you trust me?”

Stupid question. 

“Of course.” 

“Go with it. I’m trying to spoil you.” He turns and presses his lips to yours, taking your face in his hand. Against your mouth, he says, “Let me.” 

+++

The room is gorgeous - a one bedroom suite with a living room, balcony, and kitchenette, a huge couch dominates the center of the open living area, opposite an impressive television. Through the open door, you catch a glimpse of a king-sized bed. 

This must have cost a small fortune. 

As if reading your mind, Aaron takes your hand and tugs you forward. You land against his chest and he smiles at you. “Don’t think too hard. Come with me.” 

You follow him out to the balcony and the view takes your breath away. The White House, well-lit in the D.C. nighttime, sits right across the street. From here, you can see Lafayette Square - beyond it, almost the whole city. 

When you come back to yourself, you realize there’s an outdoor loveseat and a small table, holding champagne (on ice) and chocolate-covered fruit. 

Champagne, chocolate, fancy dinner… The whole nine. 

Spoiled indeed. 

Aaron sits, pulling you down beside him. He pours two glasses of champagne - mostly for show, and moves the bucket to the ground. The fruit goes off to the side table and his feet go up on the small table, crossing at the ankles. You curl up against him, tucking under his arm. 

“Do you like it? Too much?” 

You can hear the genuine insecurity behind his cheeky question. You press a kiss to the back of his hand. “I love it. It is too much, but it’s very thoughtful. You twist to kiss the underside of his jaw. “Thank you.” 

With that, the two of you settle in, quietly enjoying the company and the quiet. It’s cold, but with the outdoor heater, it’s comfortable enough that you don’t need your coat. 

“Okay.” 

Aaron sits up. “Yes?” 

“You asked, so it’s only fair. No work, no kids, no serial killers. How are you?” 

He pulls you over so you’re sitting across his lap. You rest your head on his shoulder, your hand smoothing over the soft fabric of his button-up before placing it over his heart. 

“I’m good,” he says. “I’m really good.” 

“Why?” You feel a little like a parrot, but you’re sure that’s what he’s going for. 

“I can’t...quite articulate how lucky I feel.” 

That’s relatable. 

“I’m happy to be here with you.” He shakes his head - a pensive gesture. “I never thought I could make it here again.” 

“Where?” You ask. 

“In love, happy, facing a future that doesn’t scare me. My son is happy, safe...I wasn’t sure I'd ever have any of that again after losing Haley.” 

He pauses and you can feel a little sardonic smile. You don’t have to see it to know it’s there. His next admission, though, surprises you. 

“I accepted that I would be a bystander in your life a long time ago. I accepted that I would likely remain a widower, a single father. I knew you’d be around and that I would be your friend, but I made peace with the idea that I’d never have you right here.” He squeezes you twice, in time with his words. It makes you smile. 

He shakes his head and lets out a little laugh. “I’m not sure it’ll ever sink in.” 

You feel much the same, but it's kind of at once alarming and amusing to hear him so beautifully articulate feelings that so closely resemble your own. 

You lean back to look at him. “I’m glad you were wrong.”

He places a gentle finger under your chin and kisses you, long and languid. It’s a promise. After a little while, he leans back, brushing the back of his fingers over your cheek. 

“Me too.”

+++

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[damnlance]

Klance angsty prompt 6 please 👀

Klangst Prompt #6

6. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever”

Summary: Lately, Lance has been stressed beyond the point of breaking… The end of the war was 3 years ago and yet, it’s not enough time to pass for Lance to feel better. Not even close. Everyone has always called him a hero. And since the day they landed back on earth, everyone has gone so far to ask for photos and autographs and all that. These days Lance is sick of it.

Or; the pressures of being the ‘savior of earth’ has been building up inside of Lance, causing him to erupt on any and everyone.

Good thing he has his amazing boyfriend.

-there’s a slow start, but I PROMISE it’s klance so just keep reading!

-also galra (kitten) Keith ?? I love him

-

It all started with a fangirl just a few weeks ago.

Lance decided to walk to his favorite coffee shop one chilly afternoon. He woke up really late and was immediately craving something sweet yet bitter. And since he lives with most of his family, running out of coffee five days after buying a brand new pack of it is very common, especially when no one wants to buy more for whatever reason.

So there Lance was, walking down the street. Hands tucked into his blue lion hoodie (thanks to all the merch the fans of voltron have made over the years), making his way to the closest coffee shop near his home. And then he hears the high pitched squeal of a girl at least 10 feet away from him. Then 9 feet.. then 6.. then 4 because she’s literally running at him with the speed of a hundred cheetahs chasing a gazelle until she’s right there, face to face with Lance.

“Oh my god!!” She yelled, jumping up and down like some 5 year old girl getting a puppy. She was about 5’7, short brown hair and huge blue eyes that almost resembled Lance’s. She wore this giant faux fur coat and beanie to match, and her phone was IN LANCE’S FACE.

She was all over him and it was attracting others to stare their way. Lance tried to calm her down by smiling and using a little of his charm but it was just making the girl fangirl even more. So he took a picture with her to be on his way before the coffee shop got too busy. But she wouldn’t back off. Apparently she wasn’t satisfied with the picture, something about how her eyes were closed? Or how blurry it came out? Lance couldn't remember, he just wanted his coffee.

The girl kept hounding him and following him, demanding that he retake the picture with her. Lance let her down easy, saying how he needed to be someplace important and that he was running late. The girl kept pushing him. Following his every move, right on his heels. Begging, pleading with him to take more pictures because she ‘needed them,’ whatever that meant. Lance tried his hardest to be nice and polite because as a former paladin of voltron and as one of seven someone’s who have saved the entire universe, his image is everything. Without him or his former paladins, there would probably be no earth. So he stopped in his tracks and took a better picture with the girl.

He felt good to see her happy because of something that he had done. Plus he looked really good in that picture, who knew the earth’s natural lighting at 1pm could make his skin look so smooth? Once he gave his approval of the better pic, he was on his way again, hoping that the line to the coffee shop wasn’t even longer now. As he started to fast walk down the busy sidewalk, something yanked him back by the neck and he came crashing down. Literally. He fell right back on his ass and when he looked up, this same crazy girl was looming over him like a mad woman. With his blue hand-knit wool scarf dangling from her grabby hands. The anger that had been simmering in Lance’s gut was at a full blown boil and he was just about ready to explode. So.. he kinda did..

Long and embarrassing story short, Lance yelled at her. He snatched his blue scarf out of her hands so fast, it scared her, and as he rubbed his most likely bruised tailbone, he got in her face and began blaming her for the world's most horrible fan interaction. He was so angry, that he balled his fists, stomped his foot and had veins protruding out of his neck and forehead. He called her names and most likely spit in her face, but he didn’t care. And when he was done, he took a step back and examined the girl in front of him. She was folded in on herself, holding her arms close to her body as her bottom lip quivered and fat, giant tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked so.. mortified. And actually.. scared of him. Like if Lance were to say anything or move a muscle, she’d flinch.

Seconds later, Lance’s face softened into something regretful and he went out to reach for her, to apologize. But, like he knew she would, she flinched. And then hurried away like he was a mad man. All the while crying and clutching her phone to her chest. Lance felt absolutely demolished inside. He tried to go after her but his feet were glued to the cement of the sidewalk. He didn’t even want his coffee anymore.

Thankfully, there were no viral videos or photos or posts about the incident. Lance ended up tracking the girl down a few days later and showered her with all the love he could muster, even taking as many pics as she wanted and liking them on Instagram when she tagged him. But.. something inside him still felt so horrible about the incident. For a moment, Lance had realized that he genuinely hurt that girl for no real reason. He just wanted some coffee but is coffee more important than the people who are thankful and want to show their gratitude for him for everything he did with voltron? If the roles were reversed and he stayed on earth, he would be bending over backwards to let all the paladins know just how thankful he was to live another day on their planet. That girl probably had family, friends, maybe a spouse and kids, and in the midst of that horrible battle 3 years ago, she most likely thought that one of those days would be her last with them.

It broke Lance’s heart thinking about it. He really hurt her. Sure, he made it right and she forgave him, but in that single moment, he actually hurt someone enough to make them cry, to make them run away from him. It was a terrible feeling. It wasn’t Lance. He never wanted that to happen again.

And at the same time.. he.. kinda never wanted to be the savior of earth. Not really.. he just wanted to feel like he had a place in the universe, and to know that he played an important role. That he mattered.

Guess he really matters now..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered..

The second he walked through the door, his phone rang. It was a three-way call with Hunk and Pidge. Lance pressed the green button to answer and placed the phone to his ear. Immediately, Hunk starts going on and on about how much he misses Lance and when the next time they’ll see each other will be. Lance smiled at his best friend’s inability to ever take a breath between sentences and replied with a warm ‘I miss you too, buddy.’ They got to catching up as Lance ordered his garlic knots and sat down at a private booth near the back of the place. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself, especially when he got the call from his best friends.

Hunk tells him all the great things that’s been happening at the Garrison and even on the Atlas. He tells him how his restaurant is doing and how his family is doing and how Shay is doing. Pidge catches him up on things with her family, some new inventions she’s been working on, and how being the youngest teacher at the Garrison is going. Lance listens and gives his two cents on everything his friends tell him and honestly, he couldn’t be more happy for them. The way they were able to just get their lives together 3 years after the war is.. incredible. It made him think about everything he’s done since the war ended. Which wasn’t much.. he took over his family’s farm and brought it back to life, he helps out Colleen, Pidge’s mom, with medicine and finding cures to strange space illnesses with plants she has him grow on his farm, and his family’s market wouldn’t be as popular or swarming with business if he didn’t work there. Sad but true. And that’s really it. He hasn’t done much else. Nothing life changing or breathtaking like his friends.

But Hunk and Pidge don’t need to know that. So he simply replies with: “Oh, ya know.. same old, same old,” and hopes it works enough to keep the conversation flowing and follow up questions at bay. It does.

30 minutes into their conversation and Lance is starting to feel a little.. agitated. With the garlic knots consumed and digesting in his stomach, he sits in the booth, alone, listening to his friends go on and on and on about their perfect jobs and their perfect little lives. He gets lost a few times and at one point has literally no idea what they’re talking about. When he tries to ask what or who or even get the slightest details, Pidge lets out a sigh that Lance can’t help but feel like is out of annoyance. Lance sighs back and continues to stay silent because obviously he’s not getting anywhere. Why even bother putting him on a call that Hunk and Pidge could have just had on their own??

Balling his fist, Lance let out a loud, overdramatic sigh. He didn’t care if his friends heard it or how they took it. He was upset. The conversation between his two friends comes to a halt and then awkward silence. Pidge is the first to speak up with a:

“Something you wanna add, Lance?” The annoyance in her voice is very much there and Lance doesn’t miss it. He scoffs loudly and grits his teeth.

“No.” He says, voice deepening in anger.

“Oh really?” Pidge asks, poking the sleeping bear that lies dormant in lance. “Cause it sure sounds like it to me. Why don’t you stop being such a fucking child and tell us what’s bothering you this time??”

Lance damn near growls.

The line has gone quiet now. Hunk’s unsteady breathing is audible but other than that, silence. Lance digs his nails into the skin of his palms and tries to keep the angry tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. With a deep shaky breath, he smiles through the pain.

“You know what, Katie,” Lance spits and it makes Hunk gasp. “Fuck YOU and this stupid, shitty attitude you have all the time!”

“Oh, god..” Hunk winces.

“I don’t know what the actual fuck crawled up your ass,” Lance continues, “but I’m sick of it! I've been sick of it for years! I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut and quite frankly, I’m sick of YOU!”

Lance is standing up out of his seat now. His chest heaves up and down as the angry tears have fallen past his face and down his neck. His voice is two octaves deep from anger and the skin of his palm is bloody from how hard he’s digging his nails into it. The place has gone quiet now and Lance can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him. So much for not drawing any attention to himself.

The line is quiet. Then, the sound of a huff of breath. A small laugh.. And then:

“Wow. Nice one, McClain..” Pidge’s voice is small, but so full of something. “Go screw yourself, you asshole.”

The call ends. Whether Pidge or Hunk ended it, is unclear.

Minutes pass, and Lance is still standing in the same place with the phone to his ear. Tears are running down his face, and his Altean marks are buzzing so loud in his ears. His heart is pounding in his ribcage and ice cold sorrow runs through his veins..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered...

Now, exactly 3 months since that little incident, Lance sits alone in his home. In his childhood bedroom he can’t seem to rearrange because he’s still holding out hope that one day he’ll turn back time and be his child self and get a redo on his life. But hey, it’s better this way. After the whole dilemma with Pidge, Hunk tried to call Lance to help but ended up getting his feelings hurt. Yep. By Lance. Because Lance is a big jerk and can’t stop hurting everyone around him.

So he hasn’t talked to Pidge or Hunk since then. Mostly out of guilt and shame because those two are supposed to be his bestest friends and he hurt them. Nothing he could say or do could make up for his selfish mind and stupid mouth. Lance had this whole plan to go to Shiro about it, to get his advice so Lance could make it all better.

But Pidge being Pidge.. texted the whole thing in their group chat and.. well.. everyone saw it. Shiro, Hunk, Matt, even Keith possibly! It got so bad that Lance’s phone kept going off with alerts from everyone asking what happened and what he said. Curtis tried calling him and left a few messages. Shiro left him a long voicemail. And of course the word traveled so fast that it reached New Altea and Coran got involved. Which caused Romelle to be involved, too. She gossiped to Acxa, who told her girlfriend, who happens to be Lance’s sister, Veronica. Veronica blabbed to Rachel, who blabbed to Marco, who blabbed to Luis.. who blabbed to Lance’s dad.. WHO BLABBED TO LANCE’S MOM. And boy did she have some interesting words for him in the SEVEN, LONG voicemails asking exactly ‘what happened’and ‘why The Holt siblings were so angry with him.’

Everything escalated so fast. Lance can’t even remember what he said. Or why he said it. Since the war ended, it’s been so hard on him. Sure, it’s been hard on everyone, but for Lance it’s been different. Everyone looks up to him for some reason and expects him to do so good and be the hero they all think he is, when in reality? He was just a leg…

Exactly what did he gain from being a paladin of voltron anyway?? Get banged up and bruised almost everyday he was out there? Have people on his case, constantly reminding him how unimportant he was to the team? Pointing out all of his flaws and mistakes and focusing on those when there’s a million other good things he’s done that towers over all the bad shit?? Sure, he returned home to his family who he literally missed and cried for every single day, but he lost the love of his life in the process.

To put it all out there, Lance didn’t really gain anything. He got to travel through space, which was his dream since he was a little kid, and then space chewed him up and spit him out as some fake hero with PTSD and other trauma that will haunt him for the rest of his pathetic life.

So.. these past 3 months.

Lance has been sitting up in his childhood room.

Wishing he could use the power of Altea or something to turn back time.

And be his younger self.

His innocent self.

His happier self.

Back when he wasn’t so fucked up and had dreams and goals.

Back when everyone was proud of him.

Back to when he didn’t know who Allura was or that she even existed. Back to when Voltron didn’t exist either and everything was fucking fine.

Staring up at his ceiling, Lance counts the glow in the dark stars that he’s had up there since he was six years old. Somehow they’re still glowing and Lance is thankful for that because at 3 in the morning when the world is fast asleep and everything is pitch black, he could use the light.

It comforts him. Reminds him of a simpler, more happier time in his life.

Something sharp digs through Lance’s chest as he stares at those fake neon stars, and it hurts really bad. His breathing begins to quicken, matching the beat of his heart, and a lump finds its way up his throat. Tears pool in the rim of his eyes and spill down the corners, streaming down the sides of his face.

And they don’t stop. The stars get blurrier as Lance’s breathing gets heavier. His body begins to tremble with every hiccup of a sob that pours out of him and he’s crying so hard that his brain throbs in his head.

He curls in on himself in his bed and wraps his arms around his torso, crying uncontrollably into his space themed pillow. His Altean marks begin to buzz and glow and he can’t bring himself to care because all he wants to do is disappear.

Disappear from this game called life.

He types a text to Keith with teary eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

Message.. deleted…

As 3 in the morning turns to 4, a pod lands in the grass just a couple yards away from Lance’s farm. Boot covered feet step out of said pod and touch the wet grass waiting for them. It’s still dark out and the only light visible are the fireflies that buzz around a pair of cowboy booted feet. Those booted feet begin to walk, carrying a tall, broad, raven haired stranger up a hill to Lance’s home. The frogs and crickets seem to grow louder as the stranger in black cowboy boots makes their way to the front porch and pulls back the creaky screen door to a cold, locked doorknob. A set of keys are pulled out and a specific blue key is pushed inside the lock, turning and unlocking the door. The stranger walks in and is instantly met.. with..

Crying??

“H-Hello??” The stranger calls out. “Lance?”

The crying stops.

It’s dead quiet..

The door shuts on its own and the echo around the house is eery.

Light footsteps descend the stairs and before they know it, the stranger is being tackled to the ground in a bear hug.

“Ah-! Lance!?” They yell as the duffel bag from their hand falls to the ground.

“Keith!!” Lance yells out, voice rasped from endless crying.

Keith can immediately hear it and wraps his arms around Lance so tight, holding him close. His eyes glow yellow, something that usually happens out of fear, anger, or protectiveness, and his lips protrude to make way for his double set of fangs that are ready to bite any and everyone.

“Lance!” Keith tries to sit up but is pinned to the ground with all of Lance’s dead body weight. “Lance, honey, are you hurt? What’s wrong??”

A hand through curly brown locks and Lance’s crying dies down. He snuggles his face into Keith’s neck and hiccups through a response. Something too incoherent for Keith to make out, but he feels it has something to do with why he was told to go home ASAP.

A few weeks ago, Keith was contacted by Acxa via video chat. They talked and caught up for a few minutes before Acxa told Keith the real reason for her call. She explained that Veronica was having a tough time reaching out to Lance and that he might be in some kind of trouble. Not knowing the full extent of the story, Acxa only told Keith what she heard from Veronica and others. Fearing the worst, Keith packed up his shit and set a course for Earth as fast as he could.

Unfortunately, there were some setbacks on his way over where he had to make a few stops to tend to aliens in need because after all, that’s still his job as a blade member, but when that got finished, Keith hightailed it over. His Galra instincts wouldn't allow him to stay away for much longer anyway and having accepted his galra side a long time ago, it would have been best for everyone to let him go home.

Keith now lays in Lance’s bed, every inch of Lance’s body wrapped up around him like a snake. Keith strokes Lance’s hair soothingly and holds him close to his chest, right over his beating heart. A deep, soothing purr emits itself from Keith’s body and calms Lance’s nerves right down to the bone. Keith knows how much Lance adoreshis Galran features and at this point, Keith would do absolutely anything for Lance to feel better.

They talked about everything that happened and are now in the cuddle stage. Lance has his eyes shut, listening to Keith purr just for him. Long limbs wrapped around every inch of his boyfriend while Keith’s long nails scratch at his scalp, life is so good.

Life is so good with Keith around.

“So,” Keith says, voice as calm as ever. “What exactly did Pidge say?”

“Oh,” Lance answers, his voice quiet as a mouse. “You didn’t see the messages in the group chat?”

“No.” Keith shrugs, laying his cheek against Lance’s forehead. “Been kinda busy.. And I actually don’t understand how a group chat works.”

That rises a chuckle out of Lance as he sits up a bit to reach for his phone on the bedside dresser.

“Idiot,” he whispers with a small smile on his face and it makes Keith light up, his purring becoming a bit louder.

Lance lays back on Keith’s chest as he scrolls through the messages on his phone. When he finds the message from Pidge, Lance clears his scratchy throat and sniffs.

“From Pidgeotto,” he starts, looking at Pidge’s name in their ✨Paladudes✨ group chat. “Just an FYI lance is a.. a total fucking jackass and I am no longer friends with him..”

Keith immediately frowns at that.

Lance continues. “He can suck my big toe for all I care. I’m done with him. Have fun being a lonely loser @LanceyPants.”

“What the fuck?” Keith says, eyes glowing yellow in the dark room. “Why would she say that!?”

Lance shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes again. “Because she was right. I am a jackass..”

“Lance, no!” Keith sits up, bringing Lance with him. They sit side by side as Lance holds himself and looks down at his space blanket. He shrugs once and sniffs.

“Keith, stop,” he says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Look, I said some very hurtful things to her and she lashed out in a perfectly normal way..”

“Normal!?” Keith scoffs, grabbing Lance’s phone and rereading the message again. “Jackass? Loser?? Come on, Lance, she’s completely bullying you and you know it!”

Lance whips around with an angry expression on his face “Because I deserve it!”

The room grows quiet. Keith takes a deep breath and reaches over to grab Lance’s shoulders.

“Calm.” He says, taking a deep breath for Lance to mimic. Lance takes a deep breath with him and lets it out. Keith begins to purr again and it calms Lance even more.

“I.. Sorry..”

Keith nods. He reaches up to cup Lance’s cheek and rubs his thumb across Lance’s tear stained eye.

“You know I would never hurt anyone on purpose..” Lance sniffs. “That’s not who I am. I’m just.. I’m tired of being this symbol of everything strong and good and brave.”

“Mhm,” Keith rubs Lance’s back, leaning in closer to him to nuzzle his forehead. Lance nuzzles back and Keith’s purrs.

“I keep.. I keep hurting everyone I care about..” Lance whispers in a voice so low and fragile, it nearly shatters Keith’s heart.

“That’s not true.” Keith pulls back a little to look into Lance’s teary blue eyes. “Lance, you are the most incredible, selfless, honest person I’ve ever known. You are strong and good and brave even if you don’t mean to be. Or want to be.”

Lance pulls away and stares at his hands. Keith keeps his eyes focused on Lance.

“I know you think you hurt that fangirl from a few months ago.” Keith continues. “Or Pidge. Or Hunk. Or your parents or friend or family or whoever, but you could never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, right,” Lance shakes his head. “I already did. I hurt everyone.”

“And even if that’s true,” Keith grabs Lance’s hands in his own, “which it’s not, you’re not doing it on purpose. You have a right to your own feelings! And you have a right to speak your mind.”

“And what if that hurts people??” Lance looks up and meets teary eyes to indigo ones. “What if I accidentally hurt my mama or my sisters or brothers, or nieces and nephews because I can’t be who they want me to be, who they think I am!?”

“Lance,” Keith shakes his head.

“What if I hurt you???” Lance’s eyes go wide. He looks Keith up and down and exhales a panicked breath. “God, Keith.. wh-what if I hurt you??”

“Oh, Lancey,” Keith sighs that lovey-dovey sigh where his eyes go all big and black like a cat’s, and the purr in his chest gets louder. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever.”

Lance stares into Keith’s eyes like they’re his lifeline.

“B-but.. but what if-?”

“No more what if’s!” Keith cuts Lance off by covering his mouth with his hand. “Listen to me, Lance. Are you listening??”

Lance nods repeatedly.

“Good,” Keith smiles, all crooked and cute and beautiful. “The only person you ever need to worry about hurting is yourself.”

And there it is. The one thing Lance has been dying to hear without knowing he’d been dying to hear it. It’s like a breath of fresh air, or cool rain on a hot and sweaty day. The permission he needed but didn’t really need. He has a right to care about himself and put himself first but whenever he tries, the guilt eats him alive. Why should he care about himself when he has to care more about others???

No. That’s not the case. It’s never been the case.

“You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself,” Keith finishes, stroking the endless sea of tears that are falling from Lance’s eyes. He strokes Lance’s glowing Altean marks and leans forward to kiss one softly. Lance trembles slightly, closing his eyes to bask in the moment.

“I’m sure Pidge has gotten over it by now,” Keith reassures. “She just has too much pride to make the first more and apologize. You know how she is.”

“Y-Yeah,” Lance hiccups, nodding.

“And Hunk?” Keith scoffs. “I bet your mailbox is full of letters from him, explaining how sorry he is and hoping you’re doing alright. You know if he can’t reach you from your phone, he has other ways.”

That makes Lance smile.

“There’s probably cookies on the way right now.” He looks into Keith’s eyes, exhaling a small laugh.

“Oh, yeah,” Keith agrees, laughing that angelic laugh and showing off his perfect pearly fangs. Lance’s heart skips a fucking beat.

“And your fangirl?” Keith’s purring stops. “Well, she never should have gotten all up in your space that’s for sure. You had every right to punch her.”

“Keith!” Lance squeaks, face contorting into shock and confusion. “I-I didn’t punch her!”

“Really?” Confusion etches itself all over Keith’s features and he puts a finger to his chin. “I could have sworn I read that in your text.”

“No way, man!” Lance defends, waving his arms around. “Why would I ever in my life-!” He stops mid sentence to see the shit-eating grin plastered on Keith’s face.

“Just kiddin, lil lady,” Keith says in his best southern accent, smiling big and wide.

Lance bursts out into a fit of laughter, hitting Keith’s chest and arms and back. Keith shields himself and laughs, grabbing Lance’s arms and bringing him down onto the mattress. They fall back with Keith looming over Lance, his long raven hair surrounding their faces.

Lance stares up into those beautiful, indigo eyes and sniffs, unable to look away. He reaches up and cups Keith’s face, rubbing his thumb over Keith’s Galran stripe.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Keith asks in his softest voice, eyes roaming from Lance’s teary blue eyes to his luscious lips.

“Yes,” Lance nods, not even bothering to blink because if he does, he’ll miss Keith’s everything.

“Don’t let anyone get you down, my sweetheart.” Keith whispers, leaning in closer. “Ever.”

Lance nods.

“And if they do,” Keith’s face turns serious, indigo eyes going dark. “I’ll bite their throats out and hand them to you on a silver platter.”

“Keith,” Lance exhales, going red in the face and ears. “Holy shit, you can’t just say things l-like that.”

Keith’s hard demeanor falls as he giggles and leans in close. Before they close the gap between their lips, Lance whispers, “And hey. I thought pet names were my thing?”

And Keith kisses him to shut him up.

They kiss like they haven’t seen each other in years and it’s the greatest Lance has ever felt. Keith kisses like he’s starving for it, craving it so much more than air and it’s hot and powerful and so, so damn good.

Lance wraps his arms and legs around Keith’s body and kisses him back with fervor. He allows Keith to make him feel better, and kisses his pain away. Keith pulls away slowly, licking into Lance’s mouth before he does so. Lance lets out a small groan and smiles before he opens his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers, tucking some hair behind Keith’s ear.

“I love you, more,” Keith whispers back, settling himself between Lance’s legs. “Feeling any better?”

“A little,” Lance looks away, sniffling a little. His eyes focus back to Keith’s and a small smile appears on his kiss swollen lips. “But I know a great way you can make me feel all the way better.”

“Oh, yeah,” Keith smirks, burying his face into Lance neck to start kissing slowly. “And what’s that?”

Lance giggles like a little kid, running his hands up and down Keith’s sides. When Keith pulls back, he trails his kisses up the side of Lance’s face and stops at his Altean mark.

“Make love to me,” Lance whispers, rubbing his nose against Keith’s. “Touch me all over and hold me until the sun comes up and just.. love me. Please..”

Keith’s face softens into something full of love and adoration. He moves forward to peck Lance’s lips, then his chin, and then his other Altean mark.

“Anything you want, my sweet..” he kisses Lance’s cheek. “Beautiful..” he kisses Lance’s jaw. “Amazing.. wonderful..”

“Alright, enough!” Lance laughs, slapping Keith in the back. His cheeks are on fire as he closes his eyes when Keith starts nibbling on his neck with his fangs. A chill runs down Lance’s spine and tingles to his toes, making them curl.

Keith sits up one last time and stares at Lance like he’s the world.

“I’ll take good care of you, baby.” He says with the utmost truth in his sultry voice. “I promise. We’re in this together.”

“Yeah,” Lance nods, letting his tears fall down his face and glowing Altean marks. “Together.”

And as Keith kisses Lance so lovingly, Lance can’t help but be glad that he can’t turn back time to be his younger self. Because with Keith around, he feels all the happiness in the whole world just like he did when he was young.

-END-

(send me a klangst prompt)

[imaginesntingz]

Imagine Gaara comforting you when the depression and anxiety hit

Trigger Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Swearing(?)

A/N: Hey y’all! This is my first post on this blog. I hope you all enjoy it <3 Please don’t copy any of my works. It’s all originally written and I put a lot of time and effort into my pieces. Please ask me before reposting.

————————-

You were curled up in bed staring into nothingness. The past week or two you’ve tried to keep it at bay, but you felt the ever lingering depression creeping its way in. Nothing in particular happened. It was just always there. There wasn’t a time you could remember it not being there. Sometimes it was muffled like background noise and other times the volume was turned up so loud it was the only thing you could hear. It was your constant companion following you like a shadow. And to top it all off, anxiety was right behind it. You thought about overthinking and overthought about thinking. Racing thoughts kept you up sometimes until the sun shone through the blinds.

Everyone wondered why you were so quiet at times, but they couldn’t hear the ass beating you were getting from your own mind that made it almost impossible to be in the present moment. Nor could you find the energy, the language, nor a fuck to give to even begin to explain the war going on inside you. Temari invited you out to what you thought would be a small kickback yesterday that ended up being a full blown party. Gaara, who was supposed to go with you, was inevitably called in for village business. You ended up socially tapped after just a few hours in. Although Temari was with you and you met up with some chill friends . . Although you were surrounded by people, you still felt completely alone. Although you heard the words coming out of their mouths, you couldn’t keep up with what they were saying. Although you were physically there, you weren’t there. You wanted so badly to just enjoy yourself like everyone else, but it was what it was. After pleading with your sister in law, you finally went home only to find that Gaara was still in the office. One final push that sent you

Spiraling

down

And there you were exhausted but painfully awake in the darkness of your shared room. You didn’t know how long you were lying there. There was no time, only the bottomless ocean that swallowed anything and everything you tried to drop into it. No amount of journaling, affirmations, meditation, prayer, movement, walking, entertainment, pet cuddling, food, water, medication, vitamins, herbs, epsom salt baths, incense, face masks or any of the methods you’ve tried felt tangible to you in that moment. What was the point when you didn’t even have the will to move? How could you think of going on a mission next week when you couldn’t guarantee you’d attempt to leave your room tomorrow? How were you going to take care of your hair if you couldn’t even braid, twist or put it up for the night? How could you call yourself a caring friend when you’re thinking about canceling the dinner you’ve already rescheduled twice?

“My love? Why are you still awake?”

Your husband’s soothing voice jolted you out of your inner dialogue. You hadn’t even heard him come in, too lost in the wall in front of you.

“ . . . Can’t sleep.”

You heard the sound of the door closing and hushed shuffling as he moved around the room. A few moments later, you felt his weight dip the mattress beside you. A warm arm wrapped around your middle, gently pulling you to his chest. His hand moved to intertwine with yours as he spooned you from behind.

“How did it go with Temari? Again I’m sorry I wasn’t able to go with you. I hope you had a good time.”

“It’s fine. It was fine.” you replied flatly.

Gaara caressed the back of your thumb with his own as silence filled the space between you. His lips met the skin of your shoulder and you felt your body gradually relax into his embrace. He was never one to push you when you weren’t ready to talk and always made you feel grounded back to earth with his very presence. Even amidst his many responsibilities as Kazekage, he always made sure to check in on you and provide whatever you may want or need. He would do anything for you if it meant you would feel loved, safe, balanced and happy. Gaara, sweet Gaara, was the love of your lifetimes and you, his. He knew you better than he knew himself and picked up on every detail. Your likes and dislikes. How you took your tea in the morning. Your sensitivities. Every expression. Your body language. The tone in your voice. The slightest change in your eyes. So it was no surprise that he picked up on the shift in your mood right away.

“(y/n) . . . Sweetheart, It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it right now, but please know that I am here. I love you more than words can express. I am here to listen and support you in any way that I can. I always will be. You know that, right?”

And with that, you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Your body trembled as he maneuvered you to face him. He wrapped his arms firmly around you, cocooning you into the safety of his hold. You buried your face into his chest and the calming scent of earth and cinnamon enveloped your senses. Your tears and running nose wetted the shirt he wore, but he didn’t care. Soft kisses were pressed to the crown of your head as his fingers trailed up and down the length of your spine, occasionally drawing soothing circles. You turned your head to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart pressed against you before finally catching your breath to speak.

“I-I’m just so tired of fighting just to be okay all the time. I’ve been taking steps to take care of my mental health, but it still feels like it isn’t enough. It’s like one day I’m fine and a couple days later it feels like I’m back at square one. I just want to exist sometimes. No expectations. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to be anything. I just want to be.”

He squeezed you gently at your words, pausing thoughtfully before responding.

“You once told me that your dream is to become the peace within and despite the chaos inside of you. The chaos all around us. You said that you wish to heal yourself and pass on healing to others. I know it is easy to lose sight of it when you’re in the midst of what feels like a never ending battle, but I wanted to remind you of it because I never want you to lose hope.”

Your eyes widened in shock and turned glassy as he continued on.

“You have brought me out of the depths of the greatest despair and have played a huge role in supporting me in healing from my past. Your love is medicine to my heart. There were times when I was lost that you reminded me to never lose sight of my dream. To never lose sight of what truly matters. Even in the most difficult times, you have always found hope where others have felt hopeless. That is one of the many reasons I love you. I am your husband, so let me be your strength when you are tired and feel you can’t go on because you are my strength, dear wife. We can get through this together. Remember that healing is a lifelong journey, not a destination. So take it one day at a time. Hour by hour or minute by minute if that’s what it takes. You’re so hard on yourself sometimes, but look how far you’ve come to be here. Right now. How much you’ve grown. I want you to know that I am so proud of you, sweetheart. I hope that you can come to be proud of your accomplishments too.”

A fresh wave of tears came over you, but for a completely different reason this time. You practically tackled your poor mans onto his back and your lips met in an intense yet equally loving kiss. His hands worshipped the expanse of your hips and time fell away. Vibrations hummed throughout your body as you pulled back to look into those seafoam green eyes. His red hair and pale complexion highlighted by the light of the moon peeking through the window. He was ethereal.

“I love you, Gaara. So much. I am so happy that you exist. Honestly when you speak so openly and directly like that I feel like my heart is gonna burst through my chest . . . fuckkkk. In a good way though! But seriously, thank you for being you. I never thought I’d be able to say this to someone without fear, but . . when I am with you, I know that I am home. You are my home, love. ”

His eyes softened before a huge grin spread across his now blushing features. Gaara didn’t smile often, but when he did it was a sight to behold. It was like feeling the warmth of a sunrise for the first time. An all encompassing glow.

He sat up and cupped both of your cheeks in his hands, tears now mirroring your own. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Do you know how beautiful you are? Truly? Your beauty radiates from the inside out. Honestly, what have I done to deserve you?”

“Sir, have you taken a good look at yourself lately? That’s my line. Fight me. Right now.” you deadpanned playfully.

A look of genuine concern crossed over his face. His hands settled on your waist and his posture noticeably drooped.

“(y/n), I would never fight you.”

“ . . . Gaara, I was just joking. I know you wouldn’t.”

“Sarcasm?”

“Mhm.”

“ . . . Right. I should have known. I’ll do better next time.” he sighed dejectedly.

Your body shook with laughter at your man’s adorably serious face. He’s always trying his best. Only Gaara could go from holding space through your tears of sadness, to making you cry from happiness, to having you doubled over with laughter within a matter of moments just by being authentically himself.

“I love you so fucking much, my sweet Gaara.”

“And I, you. My beautiful (y/n).”

You both slept soundly that night in a tangle of limbs, not knowing where one ended or the other began. Two, who together, are one.

[littlefreya]

The Kitten & the Bear - Part 1

Intro: This story is a collab and was written by both @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ and I. It was born out of a fun role play we have going on. We ended up having so much a fun with this particular idea that we thought we should post it as a 3 part story and share it with the rest!

| Read Part 2  | Read Part 3 |

Summary: After a night of drinking in town get Walter’s bratty wife ends up with pure chaos and the overprotective grumpy husband is having none of her shenanigans. 

Pairing: Detective Walter Marshall x OFC (first person pov) 

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Bratty behaviour, vandalism, dominant overprotectiveness, BDE, husband stalking his wife, sexual innuendo, dirty inappropriate talks, mentions of sex and oral, weed and alcohol usage. Sex in the next parts :D Walter is a Boomer. 

A/N: We didn’t beta it and did transform it from 2nd to 1st person POV, really hoping you guys will enjoy it as we did. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

Title: The Kitten & the Bear

Nothing chilled my heart more than waking up in an empty bed. Walter was already gone, leaving his side of the mattress cold and abandoned. A heavy sigh broke from my lips, I stroked the ghost of the kiss that still tingled on my cheek, knowing he planted it there before heading to work. 

Sadness seeped into my heart as I realised I won't see him today. Our work scheduled conflicted and I have scheduled a "date night" with my girls in the evening. Picking up my phone, I texted him a pouty emoji and then headed to get my day started.

Walter left me on read, which just fuelled the brat in me. When he called during his lunch break, he was taciturn as usual, and most of the call was about his disapproval of us girls going out without at least one male friend or a boyfriend to chaperone.

"Oh my god, Walter, this is not the 50s! Women can leave their house without a husband tagging along!" I grunted and berated him, "stop acting like someone is going to kidnap me!!! I'm an adult woman!" I snapped at him while sitting at the cafe. People sitting around stared quietly as I hung up the phone, and stormed out.

~~~

Walter looked at his mobile phone, shocked. He couldn't even remember the last time someone hung up on him, let along his wife.

"Fucking brat," he muttered as he pocketed it. 

After lunch, he went into the precinct. Since it was flu season and they were having a shortage of uniformed officers, he volunteered to patrol tonight. Assuming he might even be able to check up on me wherever I get to town. Just to keep me safe. That's right. Not from jealousy. Not because I'll be all dolled up and tipsy and every man in the vicinity will ogle me.

~~~

As the evening loomed, I was in dire need of letting loose. Walter had left me incredibly frustrated, acting like a police officer from hell rather than my husband. Going through my closet, I stumbled upon the most outrageous piece of wardrobe: a black strappy thing with corset details at the front. The same one I've worn for our first date which of course ended up with Walter and I dry humping like two horny teenagers at the back of his truck and him eating me out until I came all over his beard 4 times. 

I slapped a dark red lipstick and put on a pair of red "fuck me" pumps before leaving to meet the gals in a new night club that had just opened. I might or might not have a rolled-up joint in my purse.

~~~

Walter was sitting in a patrol vehicle on the opposite side of the street from the new fancy club with translucent walls. We were all sitting beside the window at a small table full of cocktail glasses, but the girls were gesturing toward the dance floor. Walter chose a dark spot on the street to park the car and was wearing a beanie. 

But he didn't need it. He knew I was oblivious to him and also to the men staring at me from 3 different tables. He ground his teeth frustrated when he first noticed that I was wearing that dress. His blood boiled as I was slowly sipping a cocktail with a sexy little pout around the long straw.

"Let's dance!!! I wanna dance!!!" I whined at my friend Keylah, grabbing her wrist and dragging her with me. My posture was slightly unstable after two cocktails and probably not enough food to pad my belly. She followed me to the dance floor while Stephanie remained in her seat, talking to some guy just for the sake of trolling. He'd been hitting on each one of us unsuccessfully. 

After an hour of dancing with Keylah, swaying my ass in ways that didn't leave any imagination to the men lurking, I remembered the little treat I had in my purse and decided we should take a small break to breathe some fresh air. 

I grabbed the girls, and we walked outside.

"Okay, don't you dare mention this to Walter," I warned them as I took the joint out from my purse.

"Daddy Magnum gonna punish you?" Steph teased while I lit the weed. 

"Oh, you have no idea, he gave me shit about seeing you tonight without a male chaperone, like this is Mad Man or something." 

"Woah! Walter is a boomer!!!" Keylah teased, and we all laughed hysterically. 

~~~

Unbeknownst to me, Walter was watching us dance from his patrol car, getting more and more frustrated by the hour. He observed as I gathered both girls and came out on the street, walking a couple of meters away from the entrance. A frown fell on his face as he saw me taking a lighter out from my purse.

"She doesn't even smoke, what the hell?" he fumed. 

His eyes widened when he saw the telltale shape of a joint between my fingers. His mouth was agape as I lit it up and started smoking and passing it around. "What the fuck? Where did she get that?" he muttered incredulously.

'It's fucking illegal in Minnesota, what the fuck? A cop's wife at that!' He thought, rage simmering in his gut.  

The police radio suddenly began buzzing, the sergeant calling on the line. 

"Hey Marshall, Toby came in for the night shift after all. Do you want him to keep you company?" 

'And see Walter's wife going to town on a spliff? No fucking way.' 

"No, Sarge, thanks. It's uh... calm tonight." He frowned from afar. "Nothing but law-abiding citizens," he replied, hoping his sarcasm didn't go through while he was watching the wife of a respected detective drunk and smoking weed in the great outdoors.

"All right" the sarge concluded and cut the line, and Walter put back the radio.

‘Un-fucking-believable.'

~~~

The girls and I fell into a fit of wild giggles, thoroughly buzzed and high at the same time. My skirt rode up my thighs, and I didn't even bother fixing it as the combination of drugs and alcohol made me frivolous and careless. 

"Is Walter such a nerd in bed too? Is he one of those guys who won't even make a sound because they are ashamed of it?" Stephanie asked to which I immediately snorted.

"Walter fucks like a beast from hell," I answered and put off the remains of the joint against the heel of my shoe. 

"I had to go to the gyno at least four times in the past because he was too violent, and trust me, the noise he makes, luckily no one called the police yet…" 

"Jennifer, your husband is the police!" Keylah answered, and we burst into another fit of giggles which then gradually died down. 

The same man who bugged us from before followed us outside, giving us some stares and making a suckling voice with his lips. I snorted at him and told him to fuck off before putting my arms around my girls. 

"This place sucks, let's go grab something to eat from the store, if Walter sees me like this I will NEVER hear the end of it".

~~~

Walter was watching us walk away, still furious about my illicit behaviour. He promised himself that he'd have a serious conversation with me about this tomorrow. He gave us two blocks of a head start and then ignited the engine of the car and made a U-turn, slowly he rolled towards the store and saw us enter. He made another U-turn in front of the store to park across the street. He just hoped that we'll buy some nachos and a coke and then call it a night, and call a cab to go home.

~~~

It was close to 1am. We barged into the store, marching through as if we owned the place. Keylah stopped by the condoms section and threw a bottle of lube in my direction. "Here you go, Jennifer, you gonna need it".

I laughed and threw it back at her, grabbing a bag of chips and a bottle of water. 

"Better fuck his brains before he starts asking where you've been tonight," Stephanie added. 

"Can you girls please behave?" The clerk-lady requested politely, giving us a prudent look. I rolled my eyes at her and then stopped short as I saw a large stuffed grizzly bear that reminded me of Walter. I grabbed it and hugged it tightly just as I got the sudden urge to misbehave.

"Girls…" I whispered, making them come closer, "bet you a 20 I can sneak this out without paying!"

~~~

Walter's shoulders slumped, and he let out an irritated groan when he saw one of the girls throwing things inside the store. Though, he sighed in relief when I paused this stupid game, and a small smile tugged the edge of his mouth when I hugged a huge stuffed bear that reached down to my thighs and was high above the top of my head as I squeezed it to my torso. 

The way I looked at the bear reminded him of the loving looks I always gave him. But a sense of foreboding assaulted him as we started whispering and pointed at the door.

~~~

"Okay, okay… shush!" I whispered way too obvious and held the stuffed animal behind my back.

"Hey Keylah, can you pay for my chips?" I asked and backed away toward the door, nearly stumbling on my heels and holding the laughter in my gut. 

Noticing my attempt, the old woman cleared her throat, giving me a glare, "You are going to have to pay for that or I will call the police…"

"Her husb…"

"Shut up, Stephanie!" Keylah shouted and threw a bottle of lube in her direction, accidently hitting my shoulder, which made me drop the bear on the floor. 

"Key, you fucking bitch!!!" I answered and picked up the bottle, throwing it back at her. 

"Hey stop that!!!!" The clerk demanded and walked back behind the counter, picking up her phone. 

We ignored her, laughing like schoolgirls and throwing the bottle back and forth between us. Boxes of tampons and condoms fell to the floor as we moved through the hygiene section shouting playfully. 

As Keylah threw the bottle at me for the 12th time, I lifted it and threw it so hard it hit the window and broke it, causing the store's alarm to go off immediately.

"Oh… fu……..ck" I uttered.

~~~

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Walter panicked as he saw us vandalising the store. He was immediately ready to jump out of the car, but then it would be obvious he'd been keeping an eye on me. He had to wait for the call. 

He wasn't even hoping that the clerk would not involve the police in the matter. She has to. ‘Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck.’ 

When he saw the lady picking up the phone, he buried his face in his palms and rubbed it tiredly.

"Stupid, fucking bitches" he sighed, not believing his wife being so reckless. 

He picked up the buzzing radio and said, "Marshall. I'm here. On it." 

Without delay, he took the beanie off and got out of the car with his badge and gun ready.

~~~

Fingers dug into my hair, I stared wide-eyed at the broken window, immediately regretting all my decisions in the last couple of hours. 

'Walter was going to fucking kill me'. 

"I am soooooooo……." I began to say, turning to the clerk slowly while Keylah and Steph held their hands over their mouths. "So sorry." I stretched out while the alarm continued ringing in my ears. 

Then just like out of a nightmare, stepping through shards of broken glass with his big black boots, I saw Walter walking in, his brows knit together, his badge and his gun held out but kept low. He was enormous and menacing, yet the sight of him comforted me.

"Oh thank god, it's you!" I call out relieved.

~~~

The glass cracked beneath his steps as he walked in. He looked around and checked the store for cameras. 'Fuck, there were CCTVs'. 

He hoped to snatch me away and take care of the situation without involving... well himself but now that there was evidence it wasn't possible anymore. I was looking at him like a frightened little girl, but he couldn't help me, and frankly, he didn't feel like it either.

He looked at the clerk, showed her his badge and said in a neutral tone "MPD. What seems to be the problem?" 

~~~

My breath hitched at his "cop voice" and the way he asked the clerk. 

Stepping back and standing in the middle of the group, the three of us gaped at him with utter dumbfoundedness. Both my heart and gut dropped to the messy floor out of fear, and the way he carried himself, looking so menacing and authoritative made my panties drenched with arousal. 

"Officer, thank god you arrived! These three tried to steal a stuffed animal and started wreaking havoc in the store, throwing stuff around like children and speaking offensively!" The old woman explained and stood in the middle of the mess, looking helpless. 

My eyes rounded with false innocence, and I nibbled my bottom lip, giving Walter a vulnerable look. 

Walter was patiently listening to the clerk. Not a muscle flinched on his face as if he'd known everything. He took his notebook and a report form out and took care of the paperwork. 

The old lady eyed the three of us nervously while Walter was scribbling, and she hesitantly asked, "I'm sorry, Officer, but shouldn't you handcuff them? They might run."

Walter's curly head lifted, and he flashed the lady a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry, ma'am. They won't run."

"Is he serious?" Steph whispered, and I elbowed her, giving Walter a rather pissed off smile as he pretended not to know us at all and treated me like any other criminal.

Was it that just for show? Probably. We were going to have a serious talk about boundaries once we'd get home.

Walter finished writing his report and made the lady sign it before turning to look at the three of us, clenching his jaw. 

After a long, stern silence, I finally spoke, "Can I still get the teddy bear?"

Walter's nostrils flared as he dug into his pocket, pulled out a 20-dollar bill, slammed it on the counter and said to the clerk "For the bear."

At first, the lady was dumbfounded, then she blurted out outraged "Why are you buying a gift for a criminal?"

Walter didn't even spare her a look. He picked up the bear and looked at me with unflinching, stern eyes that made all three of us take a step backwards.

"Because she's my fucking wife."

The tone of his voice made the three of us startle, and I released a small gasp, seeing the look on his face. Walter made a gesture with his hand singling us to walk out of the store in order, and we did as he commanded. At the same time, my eyes gave him a mischievous smirk, mistaking this behaviour for a show.

Walter left the store last and immediately commanded, "To the car".

When we got there on the opposite side of the street, he opened the car and shoved the teddy bear on the passenger seat, then turned back, crossed his hands on his chest, and looked at all three of us. 

"Here's how it's gonna happen. We go in the precinct, fill out the forms, you stay the night, and most likely will be charged with a misdemeanour. Although the weed might be more problematic." He glared at me pointedly. 

The girls and I collectively gasped. 

"Now get in the back seat, all of you."

With shuddering legs, Keylah and Steph obediently entered the patrol car. I stared at Walter as he stood there towering over me, his massive arms crossed around his broad chest.

Still intoxicated, I looked at him with disbelief, realising two things: he arrived at the scene in less than two minutes after the lady called the police, which is impossible. And two, he couldn't possibly know I had weed on me unless… 

"Were you stalking me?!" I called out, ignoring the police officer and speaking to my husband. My hands went to my hips, my face sulking. 

"Oh my god, Walter! You were! Weren't you?" I frowned and shook my head, grunting with disgust.

"You are in no position to reproach me for anything right now", Walter said, seemingly calm. "But if you wanna know, I was patrolling in the neighbourhood and decided to check up on you. I saw the way you were shaking your ass for strangers" he spat, but he let his eyes roam the tight dress, and the way he subtly licked his lips made me sure he remembered exactly which dress it was.

"Do as you're fucking told and get in the car or you're gonna find yourself in even bigger trouble." 

"Oh my god, Walter!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled at him and stepped back, throwing my hands in the air furiously.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! MY OWN HUSBAND STALKING ME?! What's next Walter? You gonna put an ankle bracelet thingy on me, so I don't get to leave the house without your fucking permission?!"

I got so angry, my hands pushed at his chest, to which he didn't even budge, and only his jaw tightened.

"I am NOT getting into that car, and you are going to let Keylah and Steph go before you are going to be in trouble!"

Keylah and Steph were both watching with utter fascination as they saw the growing tension in Walter's posture.

Once Keylah and Steph were inside the car, they felt like the immediate danger was over. Their drunkenness and high made them reckless again and they started cheering me in the verbal fight with my husband.

Walter was on the verge of bursting, it was evident from his face. He took a menacing step towards me and despite my anger, a pang of arousal shot in my core.

"Get. in the. fucking. car" he growled in a barely audible voice. He gave me one last chance to voluntarily obey him.

I moved closer toward him, my head tilting up to meet his menacing gaze, my breasts ghostly brushing against his hard torso.

"I am not going anywhere with you," I answered unflinchingly. "Keep this attitude up, and the whole town will get to enjoy me swaying this ass long before you do." I teasingly slapped my own ass and then smirked arrogantly as I heard the girls cheering at the backseat

"That's it."

Quick as lightning, Walter's hands uncrossed and shot out. He grabbed my arms, turned me around with dizzying speed and slammed my torso down on the hood of the police car.

"Jennifer Marshall, you are under arrest for destruction of property, public intoxication and obstruction of a law enforcement officer."

I gasped incredulously as I felt the metal handcuffs closing on my wrists while Walter was performing his duty automatically and methodically. I'd never seen him make an arrest, let alone manhandle me like this.

With my cheek pressed against the cold metal, I could see both Keylah and Steph gape at us, eyes and mouth wide with daze. 

Still intoxicated, I hissed as a shiver of fear and sexual arousal shot through my spine, creeping all the way down to my throbbing core. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I cried out in protest. "I am your wife!"

My attempt to stand up brought my ass to collide with his crotch, where I felt the unmistakable throb of his blood circulating down to his groin. 

"Are you also getting the feeling that they're gonna fuck?" Steph whispered to Keylah, loud enough for us to hear.

"Shush!" she answered and stared, licking her lips. 

"Let me go, you fucking pig!" I screamed and squirmed on the hood helplessly. 

"Anything you say will be held against you in the court of law" Walter continued in his deep cop voice as if I hadn't even spoken.

"Say his dick, girl!" Keylah shouted, and Steph wooed, but they quickly shut up and resorted to concealed giggling as Walter shot angry eyes at them. He stepped closer to secure his hold on the handcuffs, and I felt the warm coarse material of his jeans at the back of my thighs.

"If you don't want to add resisting arrest and possession of narcotics to your offences, shut the fuck up and stop squirming."

"Fuck” I hissed, which didn't go unnoticed by Walter. My ass naturally shifted against his hardening bulge, and I moaned gently, not loud enough for the girls to hear but definitely heard by Walter, who had his hand around my cuffed wrists.

"You're enjoying this, big guy?" I spit out sardonically, "controlling your wife like you always want to, hmm?"

With the alcohol flushing through my veins, mingled with the sheer exhilaration of anger, I became more daring than ever.

"I think you are just scared because we both know you are never going to tame me."

[sixstepsaway]

What I dont get is like. The people who think Izzy Deserves Worse... first off no he doesn't by any actions->punishment scale that isn't insane even for a grimmdark pirate genre this show isn't. Second why would you think it isn't extremely rude to tell people who like Izzy this??

Like I hated Calico Jack nearly every second he was on screen. He annoys me. It's not even that he's evil or whatever I just find the Jack Ass genre he's from bordering on a squick. (Also this is one connection to Ed's old life that is DEMONSTRABLY WITH NARRATIVE INTENT both a huge dick that lives for senseless violence and a manipulative bastard. Somehow the hate for him is less virulent lol) And I don't think even he Deserves to get his toe cut off and fed to him for killing Karl??? (In fact I hope he's alive and comes back to cause trouble bc hating him and seeing Stede hate him is fun in small doses) But even if I wanted to see him tortured horribly and dead I still wouldn't post that on his tag or go up to people who like him to tell them this in detail and they're horrible for liking him?????

It's not even that they hate Izzy or want to imagine drawn out torture porn for him that's like. Fine. Write it down and stick that up on ao3 with the correct tags im sure more people are into that. But to act like it's the Moral and Good thing to want this to happen in canon and everyone who disagrees is glorifying abuse and not see the contradictions there is????????? Puritan logic is truly something else. They get to the result first (hating a thing) then work the logic backwards (so the thing is morally impure and you not liking it is a sign of your virtue. Everyone who disagrees is evil) so the result is impossible to budge

(I dont use twitter bc it's a cesspit but Ive had to block so many morons on the Izzy Hands tag here bc they're either fully malicious tagging the hate or cant be trusted to know that if you write his name on the post it'll go to the tag anyway)

Im not even going to send this on anon I dont care lol

(I think the first paragraph of this is referencing the person who said Izzy would get his comeuppance under one of my posts, that I replied to. If so, I want to clarify that they didn't actually mean it that way, and came back to explain as such. It was just a matter of miswording.)

People who come into Izzy Enjoyers' askboxes to bitch that he's The Worst baffle me. The first time I received an abusive ask about him I had simply mentioned him in passing on a Blackbonnet post (along with Jim and Lucius and at least one other). The second time was the same thing. It was clear that I liked him, else I wouldn't have included him, but I wasn't feral about him yet. It was only once I told the anon how wrong they were and deep-dived on Izzy's actual characterization in the show that I realized how much I loved him and how much he really didn't deserve all the shit he gets.

Then again, the anons I got after that post, one of them told me they hoped I got shanked for liking him, and I thought that was downright hilarious because they were wishing a pretty nasty death on me and meanwhile Izzy's (who they said was abusive and terrible) worst crime was he tried to get Stede mercifully executed. It was just very funny to me. They were acting like their perception of Izzy, which they deemed made me immoral because I like him. Makes me wonder what that says about them.

I think if the toe scene had been in Black Sails, it likely would have been a sexual assault (see: my comments on the framing of that scene) rather than the toe thing, which although wasn't contextually played for laughs, it was somewhat used as a... muppety, over the top thing that Ed comments on having done in the past? Because it's over the top and vaguely cartoonish, it becomes a lot less dire than what something like Black Sails would have done, and more fitting of the show. But even on something like Black Sails, what Izzy did receiving a punishment like that would have been something that-- Well, a bad guy did. Someone who our protagonists were actively fighting against. (I do respect OFMD for being willing to push Edward down that morality scale, with the faith to bring him back up, actually)

Calico Jack fit a purpose but he really was deeply irritating, and it wasn't helped at all by the fact I love Black Sails' Calico Jack, who is, and I have said this before, the only Black Sails character who could flounce into OFMD and fit right in, right along with his stupid little sunglasses and mullet.

And no, Calico Jack definitely doesn't deserve his toe cut off and fed to him for killing Karl (which was definitely deliberate. He did that on purpose. Whether he did it to push the crew to turn against Ed or whether he did it because he just enjoyed it, well, idk either way, but it was deliberate through and through).

I HOPE JACK IS ALIVE TOO ACTUALLY!! I want to see him and Izzy interact. More than that, I want to see him come back on board and Ed forgives him because eh, he forgave Izzy so he has to forgive Jack really, doesn't he, and it's all water under the bridge now isn't it, so you just end up with Ed going full jack-ass again with Jack, and Izzy and Stede off to the side, bonding against their will over how much they hate Jack.

I can just see it in my head, you know?

Stede: mm, i wonder Izzy: What Stede: What? oh, i didnt know you were there. no, i was just talking to myself. last time jack was here he said his last two crews mutinied and tied him to an anchor and threw him overboard, and i was just wondering-- Izzy: If it was true? Oh I guarantee it was bloody true. Fucking git, I can't stand him. Stede: ... Izzy: ... Stede: ... actually Izzy: ? Stede: I was actually wondering if our anchor could be spared for a night Izzy: I'll fetch the rope, you distract Edward

Plus, Stede being jealous of Jack is adorable and I love it, and him and Izzy recognizing jealousy in each other over it being pointed at someone else rather than each other? Nice.

But even if I wanted to see him tortured horribly and dead I still wouldn't post that on his tag or go up to people who like him to tell them this in detail and they're horrible for liking him?????

Right? It's so fucking weird they're like this!!!

It's not even that they hate Izzy or want to imagine drawn out torture porn for him that's like. Fine. Write it down and stick that up on ao3 with the correct tags im sure more people are into that.

Oh, no no no, they can't do that. That would be wrong. Hurting a fictional character is the same as hurting a real person. Unlike spewing venom and death wishes into their inbox!

But to act like it's the Moral and Good thing to want this to happen in canon and everyone who disagrees is glorifying abuse and not see the contradictions there is????????? Puritan logic is truly something else.

YESSSSSSS. Oh yes. And it's weird to see people so vehemently arguing that something like the toe scene could ever be moral and good?? It's weird. And they act like Izzy is abusive for yelling at Ed a bit, but Ed isn't abusive for cutting his damn toe off without his consent!!

They get to the result first (hating a thing) then work the logic backwards (so the thing is morally impure and you not liking it is a sign of your virtue. Everyone who disagrees is evil) so the result is impossible to budge

This is precisely it, yeah. Idk if you saw this post but a nonnie asked why people try to say Izzy is so manipulative and I boiled it down to: if Izzy is Bad and Manipulative, Ed is free to be an uwu soft baby who has never done anything wrong himself, it's all been Izzy.

I think it probably just starts with people seeing the fact that a lot of us love Ed and Izzy's chemistry (and Izzy and Stede's!) and would love to see more of that chemistry, and thusly want to explore or write about it, or root for more to come of it in canon (look, I would love to see Ed and Izzy have a furious make out scene, okay? give me that, show, please. even if it was a flashback or something) and they feel threatened and afraid that this ship that they don't like might win out over their main ship.

I think a chunk of that fear comes from how accessible the writers are now? Back in Ye Olde Days if you wanted to tell David Jenkins how much you love Izzy, you'd have to write a letter or an email or something, and send that off as fanmail, and his secretary would probably read it, or his intern or whatever, and that intern or the studio execs or whatever would eventually be like, "You know, the fans really respond well to Izzy. It seems like having more Izzy and Con would be good for ratings."

But nowadays, I can go onto Twitter, @ david Jenkins and start yelling about how much I love Izzy and Blackhands, and there's a pretty good chance he'll read it. Con spends half his life yelling at tories and the other half of his life retweeting spicy Izzy art, a lot of which includes Blackhands or Steddyhands or even Gentlehands. It's very clear that the cast and crew and thusly also the writers are being exposed to this ship and its shippers, and I think that terrifies the kind of people who feel that those ships threaten their OTP's canonity. (Is that a word? Canonness? Canananananofnsnks)

(I dont use twitter bc it's a cesspit but Ive had to block so many morons on the Izzy Hands tag here bc they're either fully malicious tagging the hate or cant be trusted to know that if you write his name on the post it'll go to the tag anyway)

I use Twitter and it really is a cesspit. What's funny though is on Twitter I've never been yelled at or sent abusive asks for daring to like a character, unlike here on Tumblr where I have received many, yet I feel much safer and more comfortable on Tumblr than I ever did on Twitter. Go figure.

Im not even going to send this on anon I dont care lol

tbh the izzy haters seem more intent on yelling at izzy-likers and izzy-neutrals that mention izzy in passing than yelling at izzy lovers like you and I

it's truly a weird thing