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#I kinda get it but also no I don’t. so I’ll think on that later. maybe
myfairkatiecat · 1 day
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nightfall was crazy, but I'm also kind of confused??? It went by sooo fast I was like WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? WAIT WAIT WAIT-
Love the fact that they went on with keefes whole "I'm not worth it, but you are, so I'm going to take over decisions we need to make (as a team) and screw them over so that they cause harm to me and not you!" Kinda vibe, honestly thought that after he came back from the neverseen in lodestar they were just going to forget about it, yk??
Only thing I really didn't like is that like...everyone has a slight distrust to keefe (at least in the start, till he apologized ) but Sophie, the person who was (in my opinion) most affected by his 'betrayal' never once had a doubt???? Like, if someone betrayed me, right? Yk they're my friend whatever whatever, ID STILL HAVE SOME KIND OF LIKE ISSUES WITH THEM???
I feel like her distrusting keefe and then slowly learning to trust him would have made the book MUUUCH better!!
Also, I'm still not getting where the Fitz discourse is coming from, like, his sibling just betrayed him, fell unconscious and WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING?? I can see where the anger issues come from
Holy shit this was long, sorry!
-- @localburntoutkid
Had a blast reading this!
You’re so right about Keefe. That definitely doesn’t get dropped after lodestar, or even nightfall—it’s one of his character’s main flaws, and while it does shift and evolve as the series moves on, it’s kind of there, you know? And I’m really hoping it resolves in some way by the end of the series, because his arc is just… so interesting to me. Because it is NOT arc-shaped. At all.
I get what you mean about Sophie being the only one who doesn’t distrust Keefe when he comes back. I really like that too acknowledge that it’s a Sophie-specific thing, though! Too many people forget that this is a third person limited story told by an unreliable narrator, and act like Shannon Messenger herself is telling us Keefe deserves to be fully trusted. Sophie Foster decides, at the end of Neverseen, not to hate him, and Lodestar is where she has her moments of doubt and distrust, but even in Lodestar, she always believes in Keefe’s good intentions. There’s even a scene where she says something like “Yes, Keefe’s plan is horrible and I hate it, but his heart is in the right place. I have to believe that.” The part about keefe’s plan is paraphrased, but she did say she needs to believe his heart was in the right place, in that wording, and it’s fascinating to me. She’s very attatched to Keefe (obviously) and I think it’s mostly for her own sanity that she chooses over and over to believe that there’s something right about what he’s doing, because letting him go sounds excruciating, even by his own fault.
I actually have no issue with this being Sophie’s perspective, and I actually find it interesting especially in the context of sokeefe, but I wish we got to see this portion through another character’s eyes. For example, Fitz. Someone who does distrust him afterwards, and rightfully so.
As far as Fitz discourse goes, that stuff stemmed less from nightfall and more from flashback and legacy. I don’t hate Fitz in either of those books, but you’ll probably notice the moments that made people kind of go nuts about hating him and ran away with his character (personally, I think Fitz is fully understandable in both books, but don’t fully condone the way he acts in a few scenes, particularly in legacy. I’ll explain later after you’ve read it)
Don’t apologize for length, I’m literally Katie, have you met me? Everything I write is longer than I intend
I’m glad you’re having fun with the KOTLC series. Keep me updated!!!
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puppyeared · 10 months
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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lizardinkart · 22 days
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With the heavy caveat that I know people put their heart and soul into this show, having watched 6 seasons of this shit now, The Dragon Prince is just this to me
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I root for this show as if it was my child’s little league team playing against the Dodgers. Like, they have the spirit, certainly. Can they actually hit a fastball going over 100mph? I think not.
#ok tag rant kiddos get ready#tdp in the beginning was cute- competent- passable kids media that was genuinely entertaining if silly to watch#like yall it was endearing at first but now— i don’t think they know WHY things worked in avatar#and don’t get me wrong#it has SO much potential#i WANT it to be good#it THREATENS WITH A GUN to be good#and then it trips on itself#which is so sad because all the pieces are there- then they make the most BAFFLING plot/character decisions#i pity the crew making it because 1) bts coming outta there kinda sounds like hell#and 2) making the netflix-style release schedule show is so deeply challenging and detrimental to its shows#idk i’ll rant more coherently later but damn#i hate to see so much passion squandered or lessened by just a top-down lack of ability to organize and execute#am i 24 and watching this? yeah. but not as a mere fan: im peer reviewing#this is such a late 2010’s-2020’s show like damn#there’s just too much going on#but god dammit if there aren’t so many talented people OBVIOUSLY pouring their all into it#some of whom I’ve followed for a while!#i just wish the show had the chance to live up to its potential#and didnt parrot avatar’s flirtation with darker themes in children’s media without understanding why it worked or what lines you cant cross#also rayla and callum are like… kinda gross imo. but that’s just me I guess#this is my new game of thrones if they wanna name an episode where no one dies ‘the red wedding’
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mabaris · 19 days
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ok i’m listening to yesterday’s vows and vengeance episode and i had to pause immediately because harding swearing by the stone was so unexpected??? the idea that surfacer dwarves still believe in the stone as an actual religion is so interesting because unlike the other religions in thedas that believe they were abandoned by their respective deistic force(s), it is the individual who abandons the stone. the maker left the physical world and the creators were locked away against their will, but the stone is always there until you leave it, by choice or by force.
to have someone born and raised on the surface who still pays some importance to the stone introduces the idea of redemption to the philosophy of the stone. to me, being on the surface and still putting some kind of importance on it implies you left unwillingly right? because if you choose to walk away from it, you don’t care about preserving those ties. i wonder if she’s going to be something of a foil to varric—a child of exiles, born and raised on the surface, but she actually does have a desire to connect to that culture. and maybe that desire to reconnect is related to her weird new powers
#The Ones Who Walk Away From Orzammar. if you will#i was going to say that would be a different thing but actually. not really#and. yknow. there is something to be said about the fact that the casteless work for the carta is essentially to the city’s operation#we. don’t actually have a lot of info about people who choose to leave orzammar. maybe some do leave out of moral qualms with the system#but anyway. i don’t remember if harding says anything in the descent about it#i’m sure she does but i always thought of her as not particularly caring one way or the other#i’m literally not even two minutes in and had to pause and inhale deeply and go. ok maybe it was intentional lmao#and yknow what. the podcast has different writers than the game so maybe this doesn’t mean anything abt what her writing will be in the game#anyway i’m definitely choosing to read too much into this bc the most likely explanation is#they threw it in there as a clunky signifier that she’s a dwarf. even tho it doesn’t rly fit for her personally from what i thought i knew#or maybe it’s just a figure of speech at this point. i don’t know how many generations her family has been on the surface#maybe her parents are from orzammar and she was just kinda raised around it. i was raised catholic and don’t believe anymore but#i still say ‘jesus christ’ a lot lol#oh now i’m also thinking abt whatshisname from awakening#the gavorn (brothers? cousins?) i feel like they also say something about stone sense and that feels adjacent to this#sry i know this is v long and could be more concise but i’m at work and don’t have time to look it over#but i wanted to get it out. if i remember i’ll come back later and make a more coherent post lol#mine#harding
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susie-dreemurr · 2 years
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Ngl at first I didn’t understand Tyler’s symbolism but I think it has to do with being hypocrites about the art you like. As in, for example, rich people who play a game about how awful the exploitation of the poor under the wealthy is and then go: “Oh, man ,this is so sad and deep 😢 very well written….Anyway, now that that’s done, let me go back to exploiting the poor for money!”
(Best example of this behavior being his liking towards The Chef’s plates the messages they carry, yet he chose to go and exploit Margot, someone who parallels The Chef, knowingly ruining her life)
Therefore, the whole Scene where he becomes a cook and fails miserably can be interpreted as when someone makes a big deal they support X cause, but when it comes to actually take the action to make X action, they just…can’t do it. Perfectly happy to support from a distance, as long as they don’t have to do the work themselves.
Im putting this here because, again, I didn’t understand it until way later, and the group I went with was just very confused about his whole thing, so. To any me’s out there, here’s what I think that was.
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chibishortdeath · 4 months
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Man, social media is hard.
I have an account on Instagram, but I just wanna leave it. And it sucks cause I had ok luck with it for a while, but it’s barely useable at this point. Hashtags are completely fucked, the algorithm changes every two seconds, the switch of focus to video content kills all hope for most people posting images, and now they’re doing stupid Ai shit soon! Great! Wow! So lovely!
I’m debating making an account on some newer smaller social media and seeing how that turns out. Bigger ones just have all been going straight to shit. I’ve heard a little buzz about Cara, but eh idk about it yet.
Anyway, I think I’m going to be officially moving my main focus to maybe here in tumblr, the few discord servers I’m in, and then whatever other smaller platform I decide on. Maybe eventually I’ll have a toyhouse account and can hopefully start selling adopts or something.
But yeah, social media is hard, ugh…
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e77y · 5 months
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Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)
Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh
The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)
All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!
ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more
^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls
Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.
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pepprs · 2 years
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it’s that time of year where i want to remake my blog so so so bad it’s unreal and then i don’t. lol
#i have way too many followers to be doing the shit i do on here and im kinda getting tired of it. i wish the crab post hadn’t blown up#purrs#i just don’t want to lose the years of posts or like my sideblogs being attached to this blog or anything. and i would want to still be#pepprs but i wouldn’t want ppl to find me easily. idk. ughhh. head in hands#delete later#i wish there was a function to like remove followers en masse. that would fix me#all of u who like regularly like my personal posts would stay of.c it’s just like the literal resacteds of ppl who idont even know and i#feel claustrophobic on here sometimes and all i do is just close the app when i feel like that. but idk#it’s not sustainable. and i miss the freedom that comes w like having fewer ppl perceiving you iykwim. maybe i’ll remake for 2023 idk#i think tumblr has started recommending me to new users too like it’s that bad. and idont ahve any ill will towards ppl who follow me or#anything like i appreciate it. i just want privacy and i get so many asks and stuff all the time ajdni don’t want to sound ungrateful bc i#rly do appreciate it but also i have abt 2% social battery most days and i feel guilty and stressed bc the amount of ppl who want to talk to#me just keeps growing and growing and most of the time i want to hide and just reblog posts and not think abt it. that sounds so mean and is#very very evidential of my lockdown induced mental illness and again i do not want to sound ungrateful bc i really am. im just tired and#overwhelmed and overstimulated every day and i need… whatever you call this. even though i already isolate myself too much irl anyway
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catastrxblues · 9 months
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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night
#atonement#next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that#i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit#so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes#should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this#i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help#and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all#i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig#and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them#i just started crying again#and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on#i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore#besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something#i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently#still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it#and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive#and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better#i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot#damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off#also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly#it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning#but i miss it now#hopefully my period will end soon#nadirants
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tvrningout · 10 months
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half-drow druid chiyo… we are thinking thoughts tonight…
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catboywizard · 2 years
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GOD I’ve got some really good gossip but I can’t share it cause it would out a celebrity who’s pretty private about his personal life and I’m absolutely not going to do that even though it’s so haarrrdddd cause I know a lot of tumblr really likes this guy and would go absolutely wild
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goldensunset · 2 years
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i envy the people who have no shame self-reblogging their own art dozens of times every now and then. for me it’s like ok i get three shots at this and if still nobody cares about it after that i’m just gonna give up and save myself any further embarrassment
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gayabeilles · 2 months
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trying to make a roux with gluten free flour and I got scared when I saw black flecks bc I thought I’d burned it but no.
worse.
I melted the goddamn whisk.
#I thought it was heat resistant 🧍‍♂️#and it was coming along so well too :(((#turns out hot oil is. hot.#also by now I have made a second roux and added my vegetables and I’m gonna be honest I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that#maybe should have sought out a gluten-free recipe rather than trying to adapt a gluten-full one :/#it’s fine it’s fine it’ll come out good I’m sure just a little weird maybe lol#idk I will add on in the tags later with an update#UPDATE: it is Later and the result is. as anticipated: weird but almost certainly not how it was supposed to turn out lmao#the flour mix I used had xanthan gum and I think it fucked up the texture and made it a little slimy#there’s no corn starch in the flour mix but it kinda has that oobleck feel lmao#it is also disturbing to look at because it’s very much the Wrong Color#people on gluten free recipe websites said the roux shouldn’t be any darker than peanut butter if you’re using gf flour but I definitely#should have let it darken more. I was Afraid#the cookbook I’m using literally calls it Cajun napalm which is. hm. okay.#anyway I got nervous as I was making it and kept getting scared I was gonna burn it so I didn’t let it cook long enough probably#but all in all it tastes pretty good! even though there’s like 1/4 stick of butter per serving or some shit#it’s actually nuts like. what kind of French-influenced bullshit is this#TWO STICKS of butter are you for real!!!!! are you for real right now!!!! for EIGHT SERVINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway if anyone needs me I’ll be laying in a blob on the couch#glad it turned out good even though it also turned out weird. on brand tbh.
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the-adas · 3 months
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me personally i only listen to rap about sex
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no1ryomafan · 3 months
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Yknow I can’t tell if the fact that my group watch today went a little embarrassing-I didn’t know how to stream from my computer because I’m stupid so someone else had to do the rest of bravern for me-or if it’s just how things played out but man I’m either gonna push it back or not do the bravern review thread I promised because when I end up feeling negative about something I feel worse giving my honest thoughts 💀 (also twitter been super buggy for me on browser so I can’t even make it a thread so I’d have to do a tumblr review and fuck if I’ve done one of those)
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victory-cookies · 4 months
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god I’m so torn. I have a few things I really buy rn but realistically I don’t think I can afford all of them. So I’m trying to weigh what I should let myself but bc I haven’t bought myself anything nice in a while
#I want to preorder the taz gn so that I can get the preorder keychain#and I previously preordered the exclusive special edition of the book of bill#but turns out it didn’t charge me when I ordered it like half a year ago and instead it charges me when it ships (in like two weeks)#so that’s a sudden $60 payment I need to decide if I want to do#bc I did not put the money away when I originally ordered it#because I thought it charged my card once I placed the order and that was it#so I’m trying to decide if I should cancel that#and then the Pokémon centre just released the kanto starters as Saiko soda plushes and I’m in love#I’d kill for the charmander and bulbasaur#and then I’m going to a concert next week which. while I think my leftover birthday money should pay for the hotel and stuff#I really like buying band tees so that I have something from the experience#but god knows that’ll be like $50#so I’m trying to decide which of these to go for#they’re all kinda time sensitive#two bc they’re preorders and the plushes bc I think they’re gonna sell out#and the tshirt is obviously from a specific event so that’s gotta be then#the other thing is while I’m planning on using my birthday money#that money is from my grandparents who (while that have told me that my presents from them are money and said how much they’re giving me)#have not actually. given me the money#and I don’t wanna be pushy but it’s also been a month 😭 and I’m gonna have to reach out to them and be like ‘please e-transfer me#I have to pay off my credit card please god you promised’. like I feel like an ass but I’d also like to be able to use my present#anyway. I’ve picked up a couple extra shifts so I could probably justify two#but not all four#and I’m trying to figure out what I’d regret more#both books I could get at a later date but I’d really like the keychain and I always preorder the taz gns bc they mean a lot to me#and while I could defo get the book of bill cheaper it won’t be the special edition and idk if I’d regret giving that up#bc I was really excited about that#and then idk. obv the concert tee is a one time deal and I might regret not keeping up my plan to be a band tee collector#they’re also so expensive and even if I like the band. idk. I wonder if it’s worth it#but also if I’ll regret it
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