#I kinda hate it backgrounds were never my specialty

[binniesthighs]

call me babydoll | reader x chan

a/n: ahhhhh wow WOW cuties LOL i was not expecting this fic idea to keep me up in my sleep and occupy all my waking thoughts BUT thank you so so  much for you words of support!! hehe well....here we goooo i hope that ya’ll are ready teehee--also tags will be added as they come! You can read part one here

Two 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan 

Genre: action, mystery and suspense, fluff, smut, angst 

Tags: (of this part) bodyguard au, secret agent au, royal au, moderndayprince!chan, secretagent!reader, secretagent!jeongin, secretagent!jisung, skz side characters, adventure and mystery, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, sexual tension, explicit language, jeongin in this fic is my bb and i will protect him, sexy and smart jeongin tho still hehe 

CWs: mentions of death, people dying/killing, mentions of blood and wounds, mentions of getting drunk, hungover, and vomiting, a bombing. 

Word count: 5.2k 

Parts

ONE | TWO | THREE

The road was long and winding, pitch black, desolate, quiet and foreign. In the backseat of the car, Chan had slumped his head over on Jeongin’s shoulder and bobbed with the motions of the road. His nose would twitch in his sleep, and he would make little grunts of nonsense words. He had worked himself up after the banquet, and actually hadn’t stopped his “love confessions” until you told him to shut up or you would shut him up. 

Your partner’s glasses were illuminated from the screen of his laptop which he tapped quietly away at. You too felt drowsy, but sleep would be for later once you had properly arrived at the safe house, or safe hotel, or safe hole in the ground...whatever it was. 

“You hear anything from Carroll?” You slung your arm over the seat and lowered your voice. 

“Nothing yet.” His eyes flicked around the screen. “It’s almost like it’s too quiet. I’ve already told her that we have the prince and that he’s safe, but..nothing.” 

“You don’t think...they got targeted too?” 

Chan snored lightly on his bodyguard’s shoulder, and he didn’t dare to move an inch. 

“I sure as hell hope not. But...that would explain why things have been so quiet. If this was a larger scale attack...I don’t know what this could mean then.” 

From the darkness of the outside world in the car windows, you passed a forest of pines and oher types of stoic trees making up the mountainside. 

“Well, I think that we should be optimistic for the time being.” 

Jeongin nodded. He looked to be a mess: blood had splattered at his white shirt collar and in specks on his neck. His cracked lenses however, didn’t keep him from his work. He had pulled his tie loosely around his neck, and had also provided his jacket as a pseudo-blanket of sorts for the prince. The prince, had offered his own jacket to you seeing as you only had your dress, but you had been managing just fine. You accepted it, but only because it could soothe his chivalrous ego. He had a hard night already, so you saw it best. 

“Two, where are you taking us?” You called to the mysterious driver. 

Ever since meeting him at the hotel, he had been nearly silent the whole ride. 

The man cleared his throat, “As far away from here as I can. I don’t know of any safe houses so...I’m just trying to remove us.” 

“I can find one for us if Carroll doesn’t get back to me....which she should...” 

Jeongin was not one for speaking of his mother as anything other than his boss. Since he had been assigned to be your partner a few months ago, he had never referred to her as his mother, nor did he ever seem to harbor any emotion for the stern woman. Both of them had been a bit allusive to you, but that was simply how it was in this line of work. You didn’t know things about the people around you, and you didn’t need to ask. You had wondered if he had worried about her, or thought about her when you were on missions. The young man had trained rigorously, and had passed each exam from the academy with flying colors. After considering it for a while, you figured what immense pressure he must've been under: son of the woman in charge, a master at infiltration, espionage, manipulation, cybersecurity, and a million more things; he had to prove himself and more. 

You couldn’t have asked for a better partner, but you almost did wish that you had known more. 

Two fiddled with the radio, settling on a station that played some kind of country-western type music. 

“What’s your specialty Two? How’d you end up a part of this shitshow?” 

The driver laughed, then hummed along with the music for a moment. “This has been my gig for few years, but I’ve never been a part of this unit before. Carroll always saw it best for my services to be used in other places.” 

“You have a specialty?” Jeongin asked while still typing furiously. 

Two scratched the back of his head. “I do a little bit of everything. But...let’s just say that I’m good at making friends. That’s why Carroll likes me.” 

“--You know her personally?” Your partner quipped, but the edge to his voice didn’t sound like judgement, but rather caution. 

“We’ve had a few meetings.” 

“Hm.” 

You kicked off your heals to massage your aching toes. If only they had attacked at a time when you had the proper footwear. 

“You said we could also call you J?” You sprawled over the back seat in an attempt to make yourself more comfortable. Still, the plastic seatbelt buckles poked into your back. 

“Yes. You can call me J.” 

And that was that. No “What’s J stand for”, or “where are you from”, “where’s your home base,” “how did you rank at the academy?” You added questions to the list of things that weren’t allowed as well. 

Jeongin tore off his glasses with an exasperated sigh to rub at his tired eyes. Chan made a happy little noise, presumably because he had found a cozier spot on Jeongin’s shoulder. He had now gotten the chance to sleep off his drunken stupor that may or may not had contributed to his sudden confession, and the reason behind the two pitstops you had taken for him to retch on the side of the road. 

If he was a prince, he might’ve also been one mess of a prince. In all of his grace and confidence, the pleasures that he partook in would often get the best of him at times too. 

You gave up on trying to get some sleep, but rather sat up to watch that paradoxically handsome and misshapen prince. Just like this: sleeping, vulnerable, with some kind of lopsided smirk on his face, he was much less than the regal figure that you had painted him to be in your mind. For maintaining appearances the whole day long, you hadn’t ever really gotten the chance to see him like this before. His façade faded, and you surmised that maybe he really was different from the way that he let on. 

“I’m so fucking tired.” Jeongin yawned. 

“Get some sleep then. I’ll stay up to watch things.” 

“That’s just it. I can’t sleep even if I tried.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Can you pass me some hand sanitizer or something? There’s...blood on my hands.” 

Your partner’s voice cracked slightly. It was then when you realized that this had been the first time that he had fired at real people. 

“I’ve got a water bottle? Is that enough?” 

“Yeah. It’s fine.” 

He splashed the liquids around while wiping his hands away, then flicked the remnants of water away. 

“Something about this doesn’t sit right with me.” 

“How do you mean?” 

Chan’s coat draped over your shoulders, and you pulled it in closer around your arms. The night had been cool, and the AC blasting in the car didn’t make it much better. 

Jeongin licked his lips. “Nothing was supposed to happen tonight. We made sure of it. No one was suspicious, we ran background checks, we checked the whole area...” 

“Hey,” You attempted to turn your tone softer, “We couldn’t have seen it coming. They just rolled up out of nowhere, there was no way that we could’ve stopped it--” 

“--Innocent people died tonight. If they were out for the prince, or maybe they weren’t, why so much collateral damage?” 

“Obviously they don’t care.” 

“Bastards.” Jeongin took the last bits of water to slug. “We’re gonna fucking find out why they did all of this.” 

Two shifted in his seat, “Any word? Hate to mention it, but I’m getting kinda tired. It’s past three already.”  

“Fox?” 

He clicked around, then shook his head. “Still nothing.” 

Chan snorted a bit in his sleep: an action which woke him up. 

“Wha-what? Where are we? Are the there yet? What time is it? Fuck...my head feels like it’s splitting...” 

“We’re finding somewhere, your Highness. We’ll be there soon.” Your partner motioned for you to hand him another water to give to the disorientated prince. 

Chan nodded while he rubbed his temples. “Shit. Please tell me that I just made this all up. That it’s some kind of fucked up nightmare...” 

You threw Chan’s coat back to him. “Unfortunately, no. We’re trying to figure out everything that we can.” 

“Who the hell were those guys?” Water dripped down his neck in a way that you pretended not to notice. “They were wearing crests. I couldn’t tell, but weren’t they red?” 

“Very observant, your Highness. F?” 

The younger man bit his lip, “I’ve already tried finding where the crest is from, but I can’t find anything that resembles it within our database. I was able to see one up close. It looked like a heart or something like that, and a diamond. I’m guessing that it could’ve been maybe a spade? Like the kind that you see on playing cards? Still, since we’ve never seen it before, we can only assume that they must be a new group.” 

Chan nodded, but anyone could tell that the information had flown right over his head. He licked at his wet lips, then sighed. 

“Bee, You okay? Fox? I suppose that I should ask you both.” 

“I’m...fine.” His sudden concern came as a surprise, and your partner looked just as shocked. 

“I-I’m fine too. No holes in me or anything.” Jeongin suppressed a laugh. “But you’re not, your Highness. How much did you have to drink?” 

“Oh...enough. I guess that I lost track at some point. Those kind of things are boring anyway.” 

“Fox? You’ve got that locale?” Two clicked the turn signal. 

“Oh! Yeah, I’ve got one. Sorry, It’s about an hour from here.” 

“Locale?” Chan cocked his head. 

“A safe house. Or something like that. We need to lie low while we wait for instructions.” 

“No one has said anything...? Not even...my father?” 

Jeongin shook his head gravely. “No.” 

The young prince fell silent, and you watched as worry fell over his clouded eyes that were lined with bags. Normally his expression was anything but strained, but in this moment, you saw doubt sweep over him like the darkness on the road ahead. You leaned the farthest you could from your seat to grab at his hand behind you. 

“You’re safe with us. Nothing is going to happen to you.” 

His hand was warm, maybe a little clammy, but it was soft, like that of a prince, naturally. Still, it was strong and veined. Chan’s thumb rubbed soft little circles into your own skin, muttering, “Thank you.” For once, his eyes which would normally devour you like some kind of rare dish held you earnestly. I trust you, they said. 

“Two. Let’s switch.” Jeongin slammed his laptop closed. “I’ve got it from here.” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The safe house was quiet. As most of them where. It was even a bit stereotypical: a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by woods on nearly all sides. It had a little overgrown garden, and a shed that looked like it held either all kinds of gardening equipment, or the real thing that sheds were meant for in your business: ammo. It had a white painted porch with cracking paint, as well as porch swing with rusting chains. In the early morning the windows were are black, but still faintly reflected the massive array of sparking stars above your heads. The only thing less antique about the home was the touch keypad on the front door. It beeped with a little tune, then flashed the insignia of the agency: a ticking clock. 

“Two, can you find a generator or something? Get the electricity up and going?” 

“Can do,” He said, then disappeared. 

Two was mostly a quiet man, a feature that gave you both reasons to trust him and to be suspicious. Besides him being a bit smaller in stature with thin legs and characteristically round cheeks, there was something different about him that you couldn’t place; something unexpected. You wished once again that questions weren’t on the list of things that weren’t allowed. 

“There should be clothes around here somewhere.” Jeongin padded his way through the dark rooms. “You shower first your Highness.” 

Chan tripped over his feet as he spread out his arms to find his way. You giggled lightly at the action. A man really was stripped down of any and all sense of composure when his life had been threatened and he had to have his bodyguards pat his back while he had gotten sick after one too many royal drinks. 

The lights flashed on, flickering at first with the sound of the lightbulbs waking up after a long sleep. The interior design of the place was exactly as you had expected: it was a family home with a fireplace and several chairs and couches covered in dust. Bookshelves were full with the strangest assortment of reading material and board games there held a thin layer of grey dust too. The kitchen was small and cozy: it had all the necessities. A stained glass chandelier hung over the wooden table for eight, and was decorated with glass hummingbirds and pink flowers. In odd corners of the house, children’s toys had been sitting untouched. A family must’ve been living there, and you wondered what must’ve become of them. 

Two returned with spiderwebs caught on his dress coat. “Water should be hot in about thirty minutes or so I think.” 

Your partner crossed the room, raking a hand through his snowy white hair. “I’m gonna try and make the calls again. See if I get anything. If not, we’ll have to...begin Operation Cheshire.” 

It was the phrase that you had hoped neither you nor your partner would have to say. 

Chan slumped down in one of the upholstered chairs, throwing dust into the air as he did. Compared to the rest of the room, him and his designer clothes seemed comically out of place. “Wha-what’s that?” 

Two pinched between his eyes, and your chest shook with an unsure inhale. 

“It means that we assume the worst. HQ got taken over and we’re all at risk. Information about us could be accessible to anyone. Essentially, we go into sleeper mode until we can reconvene with other agents...if there are any more. We dissapear. Next, we work on getting you back home, no matter what it takes.” 

“HQ?” What are you talking about?” Chan toyed with his diamond set cufflinks. “HQ? Like whoever manages the bodyguards??” 

“Your Highness...” You and your partner exchanged knowing glances. “We’re more than bodyguards.” 

“What?!” 

“We’re operatives. Agents. We work for an intelligence agency that specializes in a bunch of different things...protecting royalty if needed.” 

“What the fuck?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? Chan slapped his leg. “Fuck! No one tells me anything!!! I get that I’m a fucking prince but I’m not fucking useless!” 

The memory of the confidential file reemerged in your memory: the promise that you had made to His Majesty The King after he had requested a “special hire” to watch over his son. The file itself had contained a several thousand words or so that you hadn’t bothered to read, but rather skimmed till you got to the signature part. Carroll had simply nodded before you put your pen to the paper. 

“It was for your saf--” 

“--My father did this, didn’t he? Didn’t he? Some kind of sick way to keep tabs on me? See what I’m doing?? God! The man never trusts me. If the thinks that I’m that much of a disappointment...this is just--” 

“Your Highness, it’s been a long day, you’ve been through a lot, just take a shower and get some rest. Alright? We’ll talk more about this in the morning.” Two stepped forward with his hands folded in front of him. His interjection was unlike his previously quiet presence. 

The prince sighed, tapping his tragically expensive shoe on the hardwood. 

“Fine. We’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

Chan’s eyes grew dark with an authoritative air that you had seen before. His façade had slipped over him like a cloak. He rose, buttoning his jacket, then tweaking his sliver brooches decorating his neck. 

“Fox. Bee. Two. Thank you. Good evening.” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Chan knew that it was you at the door when you would knock two times, then pause, and knock twice more. In your hands, you held a cup of warm milk. For a prince, even he couldn’t reject the beverage to help him fall asleep at night. You had seen him order it at hotels on more than one occasion. Jeongin had found a nearby store to get food for the morning. The two of you had suddenly found yourselves as now both his bodyguards and his servants. While you waited, you hoped to God that Carroll would compensate you for the extra work. 

The door creaked open, revealing your prince modestly dressed in plaid flannel, hair dripping slightly in wet strands. You had never seen him as simple as this before: no princely persona or cold exterior to upkeep. He looked...normal. 

“What is it Bee?” 

“I thought you might like some...well, this.” You provided him with the cup. “I know that it’s nearly morning, but you should still try to sleep in. We’ll take care of things. 

He took the ceramic mug from your hands, fingers barely brushing against yours for mere moments. 

“Thank you.” He hushed with a thankful smile. “Would you like to come in? We could...just kind of...sit for a minute.” 

Behind him, sun peaked at the horizon, a splitting of red piercing the navy deep of the night. The colors muddled, blurred, a bit like the color of blood fading into the deep fabric of one’s formal wear. It was desolate, but still beautiful. 

“To be honest,” His eyes fell, “I don’t want to be alone right now.” 

You had saved the biggest room for him. It smelled of mothballs and other old things like sheets that had rested in a dark room for much too long. Still, there was a kind of familiarity to it all and the way that the matted rugs and brass vintage lamps lit the room with a soft yellow light. The full sized bed creaked once you had sat down. In his golden halo, Chan’s brown strands appeared to be softer, and not as prim and staged. 

“I’m sorry for snapping earlier. I realized that there are things that are out of my control. You know more than I do, and I accept that. I trust you...a-and Fox.” 

You rubbed your hands into the jeans you had found in the cupboard. They had dirt and grass stains from work in the garden you presumed. 

“It’s okay. I understand that you would be scared. It’s okay to be. I...get scared sometimes too. I know that it might look like it, but I fear...for my life too. So does Jeong--Fox.” 

Chan’s voice cracked. “Is someone out to kill me?” 

You sighed, sensing his hesitation. “I don’t know. But we will know soon.” 

The prince stared down at the white bubbles in his milk, then swirled around the liquid to watch the way that that it moved. 

“I don’t think I’d like to die. Would be pretty unfortunate, don’t you think? I feel like I’ve got so many other things to do. A kingdom to manage, people to govern, much more bottles of Scotch to drink, parties to attend...” 

His eyes met yours, and you could see the very fragility of the life that he spoke of right in them. He was right in that dumb speech of his. He really was just a person. 

“...I like to think that I’ll get married someday to someone that I love. I actually would really like to do that.” He chuckled. “Lame, right? Someone like me who always bounces around. Wouldn’t take me for one?” 

“Mm. No. I think that from what I’ve observed of you, and I’m trained to observe, I think that bouncing around...means you’re looking for the right thing. And, I guess that it’s fun too.” 

Chan chuckled, “You’re good at observing.” 

You paused, remembering Lee Minho from earlier. 

“Were you looking when you were talking to that man at the banquet? He was very handsome.” 

The prince placed the cup down. “He was. I don’t know. He just seemed kind of interesting. The kind of mystery that only a stranger has. I would’ve liked to have talked to him more now that I think about it. Maybe it would’ve been worth my time.” Chan twisted his back to crack it. “I don’t know if you saw but he had some really nice fucking thighs.” 

“Ahhh. Nice thighs. Didn’t know that you cared for that.” 

The two of you laughed together a bit like old friends. It felt nice. 

“...Bee. I should also probably apologize for how I acted back before we got in the car. I was...drunk, scared. I said some things--” 

“--That you were in love with me?” 

“Yeah...that. I realized that...I’ve been...unfair to you. You don’t deserve the ridicule. You’ve only ever been helpful to me and--” 

“--Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” You shrugged. You had met hundreds of guys like him before, at least you thought. 

Chan sighed as if he was gathering himself. “Bee. I did mean what I said.” 

“What? Ch-your Highness, you don’t mean that.” 

He laughed, “It’s alright. You can call me Chan. And...yes. I did. You’ve got a kind of mystery to you too. Frankly, I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“This...this is inappropriate.” You shifted, the rising off the bed. Your cheeks warmed, but you couldn’t know why. Maybe he was just too damn charming. But, he was like that with everyone. 

He rose too, hastily following you on your way to the door. “Bee, wait.” 

“Chan, you can’t do this. It makes things...complicated.” 

He advanced, slowly, closing the space between you. “It’s only complicated if you feel the same.” 

“I-I don’t.” 

The prince’s hand carefully rose to cup your face, a gesture so gentle that you shied from the feeling. Even this close still he smelled of white roses. 

“Have you ever heard of conflict of interest?” Your breath hitched. 

Chan grinned, “There you go making this complicated again.” 

A wandering hand of yours acting on its own reached to tug hold of his shirt. 

The prince leaned in closer, nearly close enough to breech the gap between his plush lips and yours. 

“What if I don’t mind making things...” He whispered the word, grazing his mouth over yours, “...complicated?” 

“Ch--” 

He pressed his weight fully into you, a smashing of lips met with incessant heat and your back shoved into the door. His tongue easily twisted around yours, and his soft gasps filled up your mouth. It had taken you a couple seconds to realize what had happened, and to decide what to do with yourself. His mouth was blazing, it was as if he was weaving a spell, or perhaps you had made it up for yourself. He kissed you with vitality; like he had never tasted anything like you before and was starving for you. You realized, perhaps you had wondered what it would’ve felt like. One hand squeezed tighter to his shirt, and you kissed back, meeting his heat. 

Jeongin’s voice called down the hall, “Bee? Bee, are you there?” The sound of your bedroom door shut. 

You pushed Chan off you with flat hands on his chest and an amazed smile on his face. 

“This...this doesn’t mean anything.” You gasped, reaching for the knob after a moments pause. 

Chan snickered, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Goodnight your Highness.” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

For a man so young Jeongin liked his coffee black, and drank it like an old man too with his nose buried in a newspaper while it fogged up his glasses--or what was left of them. 

“I finally got correspondence from Carroll this morning. She said that HQ experienced some kind of blackout and all the systems went offline. It wasn’t safe for her to contact us on a regular line. They got everything back up and running and everything seems fine, or so they think.” 

Your partner had already made himself comfortable in a pair of sweatpants and a cotton tee with slippers. You never would’ve guessed that he was a trained assassin on the side. 

Two returned huffing in the door from his morning run. He was one of those people. 

“Any word?” He rubbed his face off with a dishtowel. 

“Disgusting.” You sneered at the crude action. 

“Well, we’ve got thousands of miles between us and the kingdom and what seems like a hell of a lot of guys on our tail, but, after I sent Carroll the info about the red crest, she wants us to do some digging. 

“With the prince in tow?” You lowered your voice lest the sleeping royal heard you. “I don’t think so.” 

“It sounds like she’s convinced that the person behind all of this could be someone who attended the charity ball. And, I don’t really disagree. They must be good at keeping secrets if they evaded us.” 

“Hm. You’re right. A high profile event like that, even though its for a good cause it’s always a competition with those snobs. I just don’t know who could order something so cruel...all those people in the same place...” 

“Since it’s a new group, they must still be underground. So, to see who lives underground, you’ve got to go there yourself to find out. Or, in our case, find someone who knows the rabbit hole.” 

Two grabbed a chair, ruffling his deep brown soaked hair. “What does that mean?” 

Jeongin flipped his laptop around. “This is the man that we need to go see. Codename White Rabbit. Or as he calls himself--” 

“--Bun.” You cut in. “Yeah, I know him.” 

Both of the men chimed, “You do?” 

“Yeah, he’s undercover ops for the agency. He’s sort of a jack of all trades. He owns some kind of front out in Egypt. It’s called The Tea Party. Bar up front, but in the back he provides all kinds of information--for both sides. His cut is that for any information he gives to the agency he gets cash compensation. If anyone would know about anything underground, it would be him. As I’m sure Carroll told you, he’s a stickler for meeting in person. He’s one of us. I think.” 

“You think?” 

“He also does...other deviant things. I heard that these days he’s had a couple dealings in some...substances. Black market stuff. Carroll also provides safety for his business in return for his information.” 

“That...sounds illegal. Immoral even.” Jeongin’s eyes widened upon hearing the news about his mother. 

“You’ve got to pay to play you know.” 

“So Egypt then?” Two wiped off the back of his neck with the dishtowel, stretching out one of his toned arms. “I’ve always wanted to go there.” 

“Oh--one more thing.” Jeongin took a rather long sip from his cup. “The King’s counsel reached out to me too this morning. They asked me if the Prince was safe and where we were. I have them loose details of both. They seemed somewhat relieved.” 

Chan sauntered down the steps with a massive yawn, stretching up his arms and shirt to reveal an inkling of his abs. You also pretended not to notice it. 

“Gooood morning everyone. Fox. Two.” He dished out a wink. “Bee.” 

“Morning your Highness.” Jeongin nodded, and crossed his legs. “Feeling well?” 

“Ahhh much better.” He poured himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, staring out the little window over the sink, then took an indulgent sip. “It’s peaceful here. I kind of like that.” 

“Your Highness, we’ve received word--” 

Chan rose his hand to shush your partner, then languidly took another sip. “I’m still enjoying my drink F.” 

A light buzzing resonated somewhere in the house, a bit like the sound of a dryer, and the home started vibrating. Your water glass on the table rippled. 

“Two, did you notice if there was anything strange about the house?” 

The buzzing grew nearer. 

Two looked puzzled, “No, why?” 

The vibrating grew more violent, and your glass shuddered off the wooden table, shattering on the ground upon impact. 

Chan squinted out the window, “Is that a--” 

“CHAN GET DOWN!” You shrieked. 

Within milliseconds the whistling of a bomb screeched through the air, then crashed into the rickety ceiling, splintering wood everywhere and demolishing the furniture. 

You had seconds to act while the matte black bomb hissed with a steam releasing from some seam and ticked. You sprinted to grab Chan’s arm as hard as you possibly good, all in a blur, pummeling your bodies against one of the shattered windows, and hurling yourself out to the morning dew. You had no time to see if Jeongin or Two had made their exit, but looked out, towing the prince so hard you must’ve done some damage to his shoulder. You stumbled to your feet, tripping, and grunting until the bomb diffused, and exploded the cottage altogether. You covered Chan’s head and most of his body with your own as a shield and the shards of wood, metal, and brick came flying. 

“Ar-are you okay?” You patted the prince down in his shock, who stared blankly with empty eyes. 

The prince’s flannel had been torn to shreds with glass, and blood oozed onto the fabric on his arms. 

“Yeah...yeah...I’m...fine.” 

“BEE! Y/N!” Jeongin screamed over the flames to find you. 

“OVER HERE!” You bellowed back, and your partner came running with Two behind him with terrible cuts on his face. 

“They knew. They FUCKING knew.” He panted after reaching you. 

“We have to get out of here.” Two gasped, and blood ran down his face, nearly into his eye. “If they know where we are now, they’ll come to check to see if the damage is done. We have to move.”  

The sky filled with an angry smoke, and the once peaceful forest filled with the colors of orange and red. 

“The car?” 

“Broken windows from the blast but I should be able to get it going. There’s spare parts in the shed. And ammo. A fuck ton of it.” 

“We’ll need it.” 

You pulled the prince to his feet as he blinked wildly at you and your team. 

“Fuck.” Was all the could manage. 

In your complete surprise, Chan’s bloodied and cracked hands pulled your face into his, kissing you with lips that tasted of the salt of blood. 

“I fucking love you Bee. I’ve decided.” 

Jeongin’s jaw dropped in the corner of your eye, so you promptly slapped the prince upside the face. 

“You’re in shock. We need to get out of here.” 

A wrinkled smile danced on the royal’s face, and you might’ve thought that it was a bit charming. 

“Admit it. You love me too Bee.” 

~🌹~ 

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @julesinthesoop

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[jae-sch-writes]

Despite the Doubts

Characters: Sam Winchester x Reader (platonic), Dean Winchester (really just mentioned than actual story play), Castiel (mentioned)

Word Count: 965

Genre: flangst (my specialty)

Summary: After a hunt gone wrong, Sam comforts the Reader and helps them through the doubts they have about hunting.

Warnings: mentions of childrens’ death, one swear word, mention of blood

Song Mentioned: Wheel in the Sky by Journey

A/N: Huge shout out to @broken-horn​ for mentioning me in this post for some Samspiration! You’re awesome!

Want to read more? SPN Masterlist   Full Masterlist

Everything was wrong. Sam and Dean had given you the case. They put you in charge, and you failed. Too many kids had died on the hunt. One was too many, and you lost five. The families, hell, the whole town now hated you, but no one hated you more than you hated yourself.

You sat in the back of the Impala. There wasn’t the usual post-hunt chatter; the only sounds were the hum of the engine and “Wheel in the Sky” playing softly in the background. The Winchesters let you sit without talking. Sam occasionally glanced back at you, but you didn’t notice. He was worried. He knew how you could get when someone died under your protection, especially when that someone was a child.

Once you got to the Bunker, Dean didn’t even have time to put the car in park before you climbed out of the Impala and ran to your room. You needed to be alone and the boys understood that. You felt guilty, despicable, and disgusted with yourself. You felt like a failure.

A couple of hours after you had gotten home, Sam came knocking on your door. “Y/N,” Sam tapped softly on your door, “can I come in?”

You remained silent, but Sam opened your door anyway. There was an understanding of sorts between you and the boys: if you stayed silent after a few hours, they would check on you and would go away only if you asked them. Sometimes you needed someone there but you didn’t want to admit it. Sam knew this, he was the same way at times.

Sam saw that you were still in your muddy and bloody clothes. The only dirt that had been washed off of your face was indicated by tear streaks. You were sitting on the edge of your bed, staring a blank space on your wall, something you commonly did when a hunt went badly. 

“Hey, so um, I brought you some food. Nothing big. Just a, uh, a pear and, you know, a burger, in case you were in the mood. You don’t have to eat now if you’re not feeling up to it.” You continued to sit in silence, barely acknowledging Sam’s presence. “Oh, there’s some water there, too. Just because I’m sure you haven’t had any in a while. I’ll just leave these here. I’ll check back in about an hour, see how you’re feeling.”

“Stay.”

“What was that?”

“Please,” you’re voice cracked. “Please stay.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. Can I sit down?”

You nodded your head and as soon as Sam lowered himself onto your bed, you laid your head on his lap. Sam honestly wasn’t shocked. It wasn’t unlike you to be distant for a while and then suddenly crave physical touch. Sam just ran his hand through your sweaty, muddy hair.

“I know this hunt was tough, Y/N. Every hunt where we lose someone on the job is rough, especially when that someone was a kid and you were in charge of the hunt.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“I’m getting there,” Sam continued to brush your hair and even occasionally ran his hand over your arm. “My point is, every hunt, no matter how well or terrible it went, makes us better hunters. Every time we lose someone, we find ways to avoid that on the next hunt. Every time a job is successful, we follow those footsteps as close as we can on the next one.

“Yeah, every single time we go on a hunt I have my doubts on my capabilities to handle it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. I’m going to continue fighting, despite all my past failures and all of my doubts. And that’s why I know you can too. Life gives us a bunch of shit, but that’s never stopped us, and I honestly don’t think it will anytime soon.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.”

You sat up from Sam’s lap and gave him a hug.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his shoulder.

“Of course. Hey, can I tell you something that only Dean and Cas know? It’s really embarrassing, but it might make you feel better.”

“Sam, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I’m going to. Okay, so you know I never go on dates or have one-night-stands or anything like that?”

“Yeah, so that’s not you, so what?”

“Well, that is because ever since I went to Stanford, every single person I’ve been with in that way has died. Well, almost all of them.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you laughed a little at the last comment, “what do you mean almost? Who was the lucky lady to survive? Or guy?” Sam gave you a nasty look. “Hey, I don’t judge, okay? You said ‘person’, not a specific kind.”

“Okay, fine. Well, first of all, it’s only been ladies, and second of all, the only ones to survive were the ones in the second half of 2010.”

“What happened in 2010, Sam?”

“Well, I,” Sam scratched the back of his head, “I was kinda soulless.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, after Lucifer possessed me and I went to the cage, when I came back at first, I was soulless, and the women I slept for those six months are the only people I know of to have survived the ‘Curse of Sam Winchester’.”

“Okay, I have got to hear more about soulless Sam.”

For the rest of the night, Sam told you various stories about his endeavors without a soul, and how for a while he wasn’t even aware of it. And while you still had your doubts about your hunting capabilities, Sam encouraged you to continue fighting despite them.

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@teenwaywardasgardian​ @train-wrecc​ 

Add yourself to my tags HERE

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[ikenugs]

I saw you were taking asks! I was wondering if you could do like Beach Headcannons for the After L!Fe Reapers? Since 20 is a lot, I'll just name 5 characters for now. Cyrille, Aitachi, Kirr, Verine, and Nine. Love youu~~~💕💕🥰🥰

Of course, but I want to do all 20 of them, just I'll do it in parts so I can have a break in between them. Also love you too @yourfriendlyneighborhoodninja8 🥰🥰🥰

Beach Fun times w/ The Reapers Part 1.

Verine

So this sickly little bean is quite weak, especially to the sunlight and heat, so he just lays on a towel under an umbrella quite a ways away from the water

Cause if he went in the water, being like a fragile feather, he would probably float lol. Definitely be swept away by the current

Though he would probably benefit from the vitamin D lmao

He kinda just relaxes with Sian (secretly composing music), who hums a rhythm that softly lulls him to sleep

Let's be honest here, even after spending hours out on the beach, despite laying under an umbrella, there's no way he would get tan. He just always has this pale greenish tint that even the sun itself can't fix

Quincy kept pestering him about sunscreen, they bicker quite a lot but Verine is just the kind of person even a devil couldn't help but feel sympathy for. Despite Quincy claiming that, "I am not worried, I just simply don't want to stare at whatever monstrosity red and green combination his face would turn from a sunburn, when I wake tomorrow morning, " We all know he's just a worried sweetie and does care

Nine could catch the wistful stares of Verine as he gazed at everyone, it was impossible to ease the longing in his heart. I mean, how could he not wish to be like everyone else? To be able to do the things they all took for granted....

Ghilley with his silent footsteps scared the poor babies out of their wits

Aitachi

You see, the thing about Aitachi, is that he explicitly states that he fears water, swimming, and seafood, so this boi is gonna have a difficult time

He automatically just REFUSED to go near the sea, it scared the poor child so bad he stayed WAY far back from the shoreline.

One thing he did enjoy doing was building various different sand castles, which he did with his buddy Kirr. They had kinda formed a kinship because of their similar backgrounds. They had fun building fortresses with the sand and even brought a lobster over to defend his masterpiece

A little way through he felt that he was keeping Kirr from playing in the water and as a sorry brought him over to a small patch of grass and flowers. He taught him how to make a bead/plant weaved decoration that was a traditional piece his tribe made for hair, to put in Kirr's braid.

Kirr totally had an uwu moment for the precious child Ghilley sat watching everything behind the scenes with his familiar smile "so cute,"

Kirr

Built mini empires in the sand with Aitachi, and really had no intention of getting in the water anyways.

As, as a huntsman he never really learned to enjoy the water. Since he lived in the freezing snowy mountains, he avoided water as much as possible as that meant a guaranteed death, by hypothermia.

Ok, ok, hear me out. So, Kirr rounding up all of the crabs, clams, and lobsters to protect them from the others that wanted to eat them (others = Ethan) for dinner, to capture them. So, he just owns his own colony of marine life.

He WILL fight you you if you even try to come near his sweet animals with I'll intent, he'll straight SLAY you

HIS OWN CRAB CULT, TELL ME THAT'S SOMETHING HE WOULDN'T DO

Btw he really hates seafood (not as much as Aitachi though, that boi straight slaps seafood out of your hands if you eat it around him, Verine learned that the hard way ;;) but his kind innocent heart makes him wanna protecc them.

They're friends not food, he's just a pure and soft baby

HIS OWN SEAFOOD COLONY I CAN'T JSJSN

He wore the beads Aitachi made him WITH PRIDE, he didn't take it off until he HAD to, and that was when he took a shower. He still keeps it in his wardrobe.

Nine

This mans has a loner soul, so he would take a peaceful stroll along the shoreline, basking in his own solitude

He really enjoyed the breath taking views the beach portrayed, the way the baby blue of the sky merged with the dark ocean waves.

Along his walk he stopped to collect the crystalline sea shells on the sand, he would keep a few for memories sake, but give the majority of them to the Manager as a gift.

Another one of his favorite things to do is people watch, he observed the others playfully enjoying their time. He noticed that the activities they chose to spend their time doing reflected their personalities

Whenever anyone complained about over heating, Nine would just mysteriously appear armed and ready with his fan what a queen he's just straight up a portable ac

Also partook in the meditation session held by the farmer boi Jamie, probably one of his favorite parts

Warning: You might ACTUALLY learn things from Cyrille's hahah, feel free to skip his. But tbh I learned more researching for this headcannon then I learned in all my years of science class lol.

Cyrille

Cyrille wandered off shortly after they arrived, he noticed a form of algae growing on the waters surface, and "captured it" in one of the petri dishes he always has on hand.

He observed it closely to find the similarities between the algae and bacteria, his specialty.

Let's check in to see a sample of what he's mumbling to himself!

"Frankly speaking, they both appear in water, though algae appears exclusively in marine environments, whilst bacteria can grow in just about anywhere" (Bacteria he's talking about is oxygenic photosynthetic bacteria :)))

"Both do go through the process of photosynthesis, despite that neither are truly plants, as bacteria and algae are both only one-celled prokaryotic organisms, meaning the unicellular beings don't contain the necessary organelle to completely function as a.... --"

We don't know what he's studying either 😅😅 We need it in stupid terms lol. Maybe now he's stopped.......??

"Another key difference is that algae is the base of a food chain, while bacteria completes a food chain (decomposing) --"

Never mind......let's just leave his intelligent studies to himself. He finds these studies much more fun than swimming anyways.

I realize now that maybe I should have done the reapers in their teams, but it's too late now. But Aitachi and Kirr make such a good pair.

[marcodiangelo]

hi, hello, i’m dana! i’m from the gmt+8 timezone and my pronouns are she/her. this is my emo edge boy lord, marco! under the cut are some stuff about him, but you can also look at his pinterest board too. LIKE THIS and i’ll slide into your dms for plotting!

( shawn mendes, cismale ) hey ! have you seen MARCO DI ANGELO around ? HE works as a BELLHOP at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 21 years old & they’ve been working here for TEN MONTHS. they tend to be +ASTUTE & +CUNNING, but can also be -IMPULSIVE & -RETICENT. the other employees have labeled them THE ENIGMA. thanks a lot ! ( sketches filling up a notebook, empty wine bottles, messy hair, texts at 3am, white lines on credit cards ) 

PINTEREST

BACKGROUND

the diangelo family left italy 60 years ago in hopes of a better life  in the united states. in the 1960s, their pizzeria boomed with plenty of people constantly flocking to their pizzeria in new york, however as more businesses opened around them, it was getting harder for the family to generate stable income.

in an effort to salvage their pizzeria, the family had to resort to other means – it started with an illegal gambling den in the basement, and then they quickly moved into drug trafficking, and then arms trafficking. the diangelo family almost became the stereotypical mafia family, but it was all to keep the family and the pizzeria afloat.

now, the diangelo family has been concentrating on their italian restaurant (of course, pizza still being their specialty), but some of them are still thriving in the drug business. marco’s parents have tried to keep him and his siblings away from their family’s involvements in organized crime, but there are some things that just can’t be helped.

marco has always felt out of place in his own family. his mom is very loving and supportive, which balances out how calloused his dad can be. at the age of fifteen, he really bonded with his cousins who were heavily involved with the mafia, which is why his parents got really worried about him getting into trouble, so they made him stay with his aunt & uncle in big bear when he was seventeen. although he’d still do anything for his family, he feels really shunned about it 

HEADCANONS

marco is peak sad boy edge lord™

loosely based on steven hyde, bojack horseman, patrick verona from 10 things i hate about you, and basically any bad boy with a soft side from every young adult novel you’ve read

OOOF lmao he became a bell hop because of this pic and the hotel staff was like ‘oh damn you look like you can lift a LOT????’ but he’s like an asshole to sUPER RUDE GUESTS but then again he also likes his job bc people who think he’s cute gives him $$$$ 

art is his greatest love. it had always been an escape. he wanted to study fine arts, but his dad told him to take something practical, which is why he’s taking architecture instead. (troy bolton vibes but with art)

an observer by default, marco doesn’t talk much when he’s around acquaintances and new friends, but over time, he starts to warm up and can be good company. he’s like...an onion but with wayyyy too many layers but his softer side is a real nice side of him

he’ll never admit it, but he tends to present himself to a people in a way that he thinks will make them like him more. identity??? he doesn’t know her

might come off as an asshole sometimes??? but that’s just because he’s really blunt and occasionally honest

incredibly non-committal whether it comes to plans or relationships

marco doesn’t really know how to deal with feelings, so he tends to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs. it’s becoming a problem.

he honestly just feels lost all the time – he doesn’t know how to make his parents proud and how to be happy at the same time, he’s heading for a downward spiral, really.

not a lot of people know about his family’s activities. when people make mafia jokes because he’s italian, he just laughs it off

WANTED CONNECTIONS

hALF-COUSINS???? maybe not from the mafia side lmaoooo

long-time on-and-off girlfriend. i really wanna play out the deterioration of a relationship ya feel but also kinda the jackie to his hyde???

customers. he deals drugs sometimes, and he’s quite good company.

ex-girlfriends. he’s the worst at relationships, so yikes!

close friends. a handful of people he can confide in.

a good influence. someone who can soften him up.

someone he can be a bad influence on.

hookups. helps with filling the void.

partner-in-crime. buddies who go on a downward spiral together stay together!

enemy. someone who HE REALLY does not get along with.

unlikely friends. they’re complete opposites and they never thought they’d work as friends, but they’re one of the best

salt mates.  someone who he rants with a lot and they just get along because of how salty they are akjsja

[seigephoenix]

DA OC Questions

Garrett Hawke, Alissa Hawke (formerly Trevelyan) and Serena Tabris.  My Champion, Inquisitor, and Warden.

1. What would your Warden generally think of your Hawke and your inquisitor?

Hawke faced some situations that had no right answer.  I have no opinion either way about what he did.  He's manned up and lived with the consequences of that decision, so how can I say anything bad?  Could he have done things better?  Probably.  Hell, I could have too.  Live with the consequences is my motto.

As for the Inquisitor, poor girl.  She got tossed into a situation that she clearly didn't want.  Did the best she could and kept Thedas from destroying itself.  Was surprised to find out she was married to Hawke.  It certainly explained some of her decisions.  I may or may not make a trip to help her with the Dread Wolf problem.

2. What would your Hawke generally think of your warden and your Inquisitor?

Well, the woman saved an entire country.  My home country.  The fact she could kick my ass is kinda hot.  In all seriousness?  Tabris commands respect not by her words but by her deeds.  I hope she finds what she needs.  She deserves it.

As for the Inquisitor, well…  I married her.  That should answer the question right?  Right?

3. What would your Inquisitor generally think of your warden and your Hawke?

I have nothing but respect for the Warden.  She rose up from nothing and saved a country.  She helped prevent a civil war and united the country behind her to defeat an Archdemon.  I do hope she finds whatever it is she's seeking.

Well, I did marry the man.  While I may not have agreed with all his decisions, he doesn't run from the consequences of them.  He holds the weight on his shoulders a little too much sometimes.

4. What would they think about each other’s love interests (if they romanced someone of course)

Hawke - What do I think of Zevran?  Scary guy but anyone could see how he feels about the Warden.

Trevelyan - From the little bit of communicating I've done with him, he is a respectable man.  Yes, I know he's a Crow.  He could've backstabbed the Inquisition at any moment but he did not.  That counts for a lot in my book.

Tabris - I believe they are well suited to one another.  Zevran told me about them and the letter from Trevelyan was personal.  Contacting me personally instead of having a secretary do it, it counts.  I hope they and their twins find happiness.

5. Is your inquisitor jealous that both the warden and Hawke have a mabari hound?

Hawke - I used to have a Mabari.  Baron likes Alissa more than me.

Trevelyan - He's not jealous about that at all.

Tabris - *keeps the laughter in check*

6. What would they think of each other’s combat skills/techniques?

Trevelyan - I'm told no one is more deadly with their blades than the Warden.  I'm inclined to believe them.  I mean, she learned from a master assassin.  Garrett has always been a terror on the battlefield with his sword.

Hawke - I have little doubt to the Warden's prowess in battle.  I have no inclination to see it in person thanks.  Alissa was one of the most impressive archers I've had the pleasure of knowing, but don't think her losing her arm has stopped her.  She's merely bugged Cassandra into teaching her how to use a sword and shield now.

Tabris - Zevran's told me how strong Hawke is in battle.  Leliana informed me that Trevelyan hasn't let her injury keep her off the battlefield.  That kind of mettle isn't something to be faked.  Perhaps I might send her a sword as a gift one of these days.

7. Are all your protagonists the same combat class? And what specializations did they take?

Trevelyan - I was a rogue specializing in archery.  I prefer the Artificer subclass.  Though without my left arm, *grumbles about wolves*, I have to shift over.  I'm learning how to use a shield and a sword now.

Hawke - I prefer two handed swords.  Reaver is my specialty.

Tabris - Rogue as well.  I prefer blades and Assassin was what fit with me.  Leliana tried to teach me the way of being a Bard…  It didn't end well.

8.What would your inquisitor and warden think of what happened in Kirkwall? Would they have supported Hawke’s decisions?

Trevelyan - I was there.  Sadly, I don't think Garrett had any other choice.  The City forced a mantle of responsibility on him that he never wanted.  He did the best he could, given what he had.  I supported him in whatever decisions he made.

Tabris - I've had my back to the wall.  It's hard to weigh consequences there.  While I may have made a few choices differently, overall Hawke did what he could.

9. Would your warden or Hawke have actually accepted the role of inquisitor if Cassandra had located them as she’d planned to? Would they have been a good leader for the Inquisition?

Trevelyan - when he stops laughing Garrett will get back to you.

Tabris - No.  I've done my part in saving the world and I've had my own mission.  Though given what we know now?  I may just have to make a comeback and give them a hand.  Dread Wolf indeed.  I'm not the type to be a figurehead much as people have tried.

10. Do your protagonists share the same opinions on the Chantry?

All - I like the way Leliana runs it.

11. Do your protagonists share the same opinions on mages rights?

Trevelyan - I see both sides of the argument having lived through the mage and templar war.  While blood magic and corruption do exist in the Circles, I don't see it so black and white.  Mages do not deserve to be condemned because of ‘maybes’.  Maybe they'll become an abomination, maybe they'll practice blood magic.  I do believe they should govern themselves in conjunction with the Chantry.  A partnership instead of one ruling over the other.

Hawke - You've been around Dorian too long.

Trevelyan - You can just shush Mr I Helped My Mage Friend Blow Up The Kirkwall Chantry.

Hawke - Fair point.

Tabris - I saw the horrors of blood magic but surprisingly I agree with Trevelyan there.  Condemning mages, children, to a lifetime of subjugation based on maybes is ridiculous.  There needs to be a balance but I don't possess the temperament nor inclination to figure it out.

12. Do your protagonists share the same opinions on blood magic?

All - Yes.

13. Do your protagonists share the same opinions on The Game?

Trevelyan - I know how to play it, I am abysmal at it.  I dislike the dancing around whatever point you are trying to make.

Hawke - She once told a Compte to go fuck himself.  I thought it was clever.  *shrugs* As for me?  I can't play it and have no desire too.

Tabris - I am impressed.  But no, I dislike the Game.  Say what you mean to say or get out of my face.

14. If they’d been in each other’s places would they have made the same or different choices? And who would they have romanced, if anyone?

Trevelyan - Ah…  No.  I'll stick to my own timeline thanks.

Hawke - What she said.

Tabris - Quite frankly I agree.  It's difficult to say if I'd have made the same choices they did.  Or if they'd have made the same in my boots.  We are far too different to know how we'd react.  So, I'll stick to my own.

15. Would your protagonists have the same character alignment?  

All - Yep.

16. Would your protagonists have the same Hogwarts house?

Trevelyan - Ravenclaw.

Tabris - Slytherin

Hawke - Hufflepuff (though he hates it)

17. If Origins and Inquisition had the 3 personalities (Diplomatic, Sarcastic, Aggressive) which would your warden and inquisitor have predominately been? And what one did your Hawke have?

Tabris - Aggressive

Trevelyan - Sarcastic

Hawke - Combination Diplomatic and Sarcastic

18. What is the biggest similarity between your protagonists?

They are all driven by family and found family.

19. What is the biggest difference between your protagonists?

Their backgrounds.

20. Who handles responsibility the best? And who handles it the worst?

Tabris handles responsibility the best.  She just takes care of it and moves on.

Trevelyan the worst.  

Hawke - She actually tried to run away when she first came to Haven.

21. Do they share any of the same hobbies?

No.  They all have different hobbies.

Hawke - Can sew.

Trevelyan - is a painter

Tabris - is excellent at wood carving

22. Would you ever ship any of them together?

Well…  *waves at Hawke and Trevelyan* Those two definitely.  Not Tabris with any of them though.

Tabris - Thank you.

23. How old were each of your protagonists at the start of their respective games? Do you think their age affected the choices they made?  Looking back would they have done any major action differently?

Tabris - roughly 23 at the start of Origins

Hawke - 24 at the beginning of DA2

Alissa - 31 at the start of Inquisition

24. How do each of your protagonists handle loss?

Tabris - tends to close off from everyone but Zevran.  He is the only one allowed to see her upset.

Hawke - Bottles it up.  He's gotten better at it but has his moments.

Trevelyan - she lashes out.  Verbally, not physically.  So she tends to isolate herself so she doesn't accidentally hurt someone's feelings because she's upset.

25. What is/was their relationship with their family like?

Tabris - she was close to her family until the Joining.  Though she still keeps in touch with Shiani, things have changed and it's a cordial relationship.  But no longer close.

Hawke - he's still close to Bethany.  And is wrapped around his childrens’ fingers.

Trevelyan - is only close to her middle brother and twin sister.  The rest of the family disowned her for having children out of wedlock.

26. Do any of your protagonists marry and/or have children?

Hawke and Trevelyan marry and have twins.  A boy and a girl.

Tabris doesn't marry Zevran but they remain together for the rest of their lives.  No children because of the taint but they're okay with that.  They wind up adopting a couple of orphaned city elves later on down the line.

27. What would their fears on the graves in the fade during Here Lies The Abyss be?

Trevelyan - losing her children

Hawke - loss of family

Tabris - the void

28. What is their favourite location within their own game and what would be their favourite in each others?

Trevelyan - I loved the Emerald Graves.  Except the giants and red lyrium mines.  If I was in Ferelden it would likely be the Brecilian Forest.  I do like the outdoors.

Hawke - The Hanged Man for me.  I enjoyed Skyhold while I was there.

Tabris - Denerim.  Denerim was home.  I've heard great things about the Hanged Man though.

29. How do they each feel about the Deep Roads?

All - We don't want to talk about it.

Trevelyan - I'd rather go through the Hinterlands again.

30. Out of your Warden, Hawke, and Inquisitor, who is your favorite?

I can't decide.  I love them all.  Tabris was my first DA character.  Alissa Trevelyan was the one I developed the most.  And Hawke is Hawke.

[romanoaudrey]

heat of the moment | audreo

Parties: @romanoaudrey and @mateo-rossi

Date: December 31st/January 1st

Location: NYE Gala and then Mateo’s cottage.

Summary: after sharing a new year’s eve kiss, audrey goes to mateo’s place to celebrate his birthday. he’s hurting after bianca left and audrey’s dealing with her own heartaches at being forever alone and the mess that is her life and they find solace (and distraction) in each other. {basically one big nsfw read with marathon sex and dashes of feels.}

Audrey was never a big fan of these huge, fancy parties, but she had to admit, this one wasn't all that bad. And she also had to admit that it was kinda fun getting all dressed up and seeing everyone else just as fancy. The dress she'd decided on while shopping with Neha was pink and sparkly and actually made her feel pretty beautiful, especially once her cousin had her hair and makeup done too. And soon enough she was off and at the gala, feeling like every single person in Verona was there--and for how acclaimed the party had been, they probably were. She managed to snag a spot at the bar though, ordering herself one of the fancy specialty cocktails on the menu and looking around, feeling a bit overwhelmed and trying to find at least one familiar face in the crowd.

Mateo simply wasn't in the mood for this. He was still hungover from the night before (...and the night before, and the night before...) but couldn't do a damn thing about it while he was on duty. Tylenol and a prayer was all that he was allowed. Every time he caught a glimpse of a blue dress, his head would practically snap trying to get a glimpse of the woman wearing it, hoping that it was Bianca. He was nothing more than a lovesick puppy and he absolutely /hated/ it.

There was no missing Audrey when she walked into the Gala - her dress easily caught everyone's attention as she walked past. Once she was settled at the bar, Mateo walked over, determined to get his mind off the domme. "Hey," he said softly as he sidled up to the bar beside her. "Think we can make a early escape from here?"

Audrey felt the eyes on her but she paid them little mind as she sipped her drink. When someone came up beside her she was ready to roll her eyes and put on a fake smile, but as she turned her body relaxed and her expression went much more genuine as she smiled. “I was hoping so.” She told him softly. She reached over to rest her hand on his arm, squeezing gently. “you okay?” She asked softly, shuffling a bit closer to keep her voice low.

Mateo: Mateo leaned down, briefly touching his head to hers as he gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm okay," he said softly, though he didn't doubt that Audrey would see through that farce. He wasn't exactly the best liar. "Soon as I can, I'm sneaking out with a bottle of whatever I can get my hands on. You're welcome to join if you can - I don't know what Celeste's got you doing tonight."

Audrey felt her smile soften even more and she closed her eyes at the touch, squeezing his arm again before pulling back, "I'll pretend to believe you for your benefit." She told him lightly before finally pulling back and letting out a laugh, "Sounds good to me." she assured, shaking her head, "Nothing. Other than...the last job I told you, she hasn't given me anything. So I'm here for as long as socially acceptable. You're not the only guard here for the family though, right? So it shouldn't be too hard for you to get out?"

Mateo: "I figure once Georgie and Sophia leave safe, no one will notice if I'm gone," Mateo shrugged. The rest of the Romanos were important, but none so important as Celeste's girls. "I figure they'll probably leave after midnight and we'll be free right after." He gently nudged Audrey's arm and glanced down at her, taking her in fully for the first time. "I like your dress - all sparkly."

Audrey nodded, humming softly, "Fair enough. And yeah. Georgie's here with Thomas, so....she'll probably leave soon after with him." She tried her best to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but she figured he could see right through it as well as she could see through him. "i'll happily spend the rest of the night with you. Especially considering tomorrow." she looked down at herself then, a bashful little smile tugging on her lips. "Yeah? It's not too much? Cause if it is, you can totally blame Neha."

Mateo: "Mm, yeah, New Years Day is a very important holiday," Mateo quipped, preferring to ignore his birthday versus acknowledging it. It would just be another cold, winter day. He took Audrey's hand, gently tugging her around so he could get a full view of the dress. "Well, much as I would never pass up a reason to blame Neha, she did good this time. Really knows how to frame your, uh, face." He smirked.

Audrey rolled her eyes, shaking her head, "Yeah, definitely." She quipped, giving him a look. She was surprised when he took her hand, letting him tug her up despite her confusion but then he was looking her dress over and she huffed out a laugh, feeling a bit of pink color her cheeks as she rolled her eyes again, "I'll take your word for it."

Mateo: "I'm sure I ain't the only one who's noticed," Mateo assured her, giving her another little smile. "You know, you ain't got to worry about me if you do find someone to hang out with. You ought to have some fun tonight. Ain't every day we're at a fancy party like this one."

Audrey shrugged, giving his hand a squeeze where he was still holding it, "There's really no one here I want to hang out with except my present company." She told him, raising a brow. She leaned over then to kiss his cheek before pulling her hand back, "It's almost eleven now so...I'll meet you in an hour? We can ring in the new year together?"

Mateo: Mateo nodded, glancing down at his watch to see exactly how much time he had left. "Yeah - meet me by the door? Pretty sure everyone else is gonna be watching the fireworks. Soon as they're over, I should be free. I can drive you home - ain't allowed to to drink on the job."

Audrey looked to his watch too before nodding “Okay. Meet here just before midnight.” She told him with a nod. She smiled, humming a bit “I’ll make sure to make up with you not being able to drink by letting you drink more than me once we leave. Consider a gift for the elderly.” She teased, grinning at him before nodding her head behind him “But for now, go.”

Mateo "Ha ha," Mateo quipped, not amused with her little retort. "Ain't there something about respecting your elders?" His lips edged into another little smirk as he winked at her.

At that, he walked away and faded back into the crowd, keeping a watchful eye on the Romano subs he was supposed to be guarding. When only a few minutes remained until midnight, he moved to the large, main door of the ballroom to meet Audrey. Everyone's eyes were too focused on the fireworks display about to start outside to worry about where the two of them had snuck off too. "Here's to another year..." he murmured, shaking his head as he approached. "Our luck's gotta change sometime, right?"

Audrey laughed again, grinning at him as she just shrugged before heading off into the mass of people. She hung around with Neha for a bit, having just one more martini, and as the clock got towards the end of midnight, she managed to snag two glasses of champagne and wove her way through the crowd, spotting Mateo off to the side. No one would even see him if they weren't looking for him. She smiled as she got close and offered up one of the glasses, "Maybe this'll be the year things change." she murmured before nodding for him to move back a little more, practically out of the main room and away from everyone else while still being able to see the fireworks through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Mateo: Mateo took the glass - it was hardly the whiskey he wanted, but it was something alcoholic, and he was grateful to have at least that. "Thanks." He gently clanked his glass to hers before easing back a little more. "Sometimes I wonder if it ain't such a awful idea to just run away from here, you know?" If he knew he could provide for his mother in some other way, he would've been gone already. "I'd go crazy if you wasn't here, Auds..."

Audrey smiled softly as the glasses clinked, just nodding. Her smile fell just a bit, expression going more somber as he spoke and she reached for his hand, "if it was as easy as just leaving we would've already been gone. You and me. ..But we both know things are complicated." She had Freddie, and everything Celeste held over her. And he had his mother. There were things, ties, keeping them stuck here. They just had to make the best of it. This time it was her turn to lean closer, pressing her forehead to his as he finished speaking and she hummed softly, "Well, you'll never have to worry about that. Because I'm not going anywhere. You have me Matty, always. ..And I know I have you. So I'm okay."

Mateo: Audrey was one of the very few people who'd never walked away from him. He believed her when she said that she had his back - she'd never done anything to betray his trust. But he still felt a hitch of uncertainty, if only because of past experiences. Mateo still managed a small little smile for her. "I know you ain't going nowhere. And I ain't either, so..." he trailed off, vaguely hearing the rumblings of the New Year countdown in the background. "Maybe one day though. Maybe."

Audrey hummed, giving him a light little nudge, "I'm holding you to it I hope you know." She teased as she pulled her head back a bit. "Here's to one day, then." She agreed, lifting her glass up a bit and toasting the sentiment before she heard people starting to countdown and she glanced back behind them to the countless amounts of people before back to him with a little smile. "Here's to hoping to have new years kisses next year too."

Mateo: Mateo took a swig of his champagne as they lifted their glasses in toast. New Year kisses - one more thing to make him think of /her/. "Yeah, here's to hoping," he said softly, his voice barely audible over the countdown. He sighed and lowered his head, preferring to look at Audrey over the hoards of people having their New Year moment.

Audrey knew he was hurting, and in turn it hurt her to see him like this. Someone like him shouldn’t have to feel like this. Someone as wonderful as him deserved to be happy and loved and not stuck in the situation that was his life here in Verona. She thought again to all their conversations about wishing one of them was a dominant, something panging inside her. If she were one or him...they wouldn’t be in this, they could take care of each other so much more than they already did... But sometimes the universe just wasn’t fair like that. She let out a sigh, glancing out again for a second as the countdown got to the end, and just before it did she stepped in closer to him and leaned up, kissing him softly as cheers vaguely rang out behind them.

Mateo It might've been a defining moment in someone else's romantic comedy moment - the setting couldn't have been better, the story about too wayward friends was almost too perfect. But their lives weren't romantic comedies and Mateo knew little moments like this would only cause more hurt later. They were two submissives. They were Romanos (even if not by name in his case). It couldn't work.

But he still kissed her back anyway because, in that moment, he was selfish and hurting. Audrey's lips were warm and sweet, serving as a balm for the ache in his chest. The only thing that made him pull back was knowing neither of them could afford to get caught. "Happy New Year," he said softly before pressing another kiss to the top of her head.

Audrey felt both a relief and an ache at the kiss. She knew these messy feelings she had could never come to fruition. She knew how easily she could fall in love with him, and how good they'd be together....but it'd never work, not in the long run. Not unless they did something crazy like get the same Dom to want them both or if they just lived off of brothel visits..but that wasn't fair for either of them, and she doubted any dominant would be insane enough as to want them both. It was a nice little daydream, but it wasn't reality.

Still, Mat's lips were warm..and starting to feel a little familiar and just being around him relaxed her, calmed down the chaos inside herself. So she'd allow herself to indulge for just a little bit. Soon enough though he was pulling back, whispering softly and kissing her head and she exhaled shakily, just nodding and moving to wrap her free arm around his middle and resting her chin on his shoulder as she closed her eyes, "Happy New Year, Matty.."

Mateo: It was nice just to hold her for a little while, pretend that everything really had changed just because the clock struck midnight. New Year, New Them, or something like that. "Think it'll really be any different?" he asked, hopeful, even if he already knew the answer. Audrey still had to complete her dangerous mission for Celeste, Mateo would still relegated to babysitting duty, and the of them would still be scorned by dominants. "Just say yes, even if you don't think so..."

Audrey squeezed her arm gently around him, turning her head to press her face into his neck for a moment. It was another one of the moments that was easy to just...pretend when they were like this. She let out a long, slow breath before nodding “I want it to be. I really..really do. So yes. I believe it. I have to..../We/ have to. All this bad shit...we deserve some good eventually.”

Mateo: "Yes, we really, really do..." Mateo sighed and slowly rubbed her back, keeping her close. "You still gonna come and hang out with me later? I'll have to do a little work in the morning, but after, we can welcome the new year by getting shitfaced, if you want." He wasn't sure how much more his liver could take, but he figured one or two more days couldn't hurt. "Maybe go to the main house, steal some of whatever they're having."

Audrey let out another little sigh, pressing a kiss to his neck before pulling her head up and looking up to his eyes. She nodded, giving him a little smile “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. We can definitely do that. Besides, I have presents to give you.” She teased, giving him a grin and leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek, “Happy birthday, Mateo.”

Mateo: Mateo shook his head. "You really shouldn't have, Auds..." Though he knew he might as well have been talking to a wall. "Thank you. Really. Even if I am a ass about my birthday." Part of him was glad that it blended into a major holiday - his birth had always been a thorn in his family's side and the easier it was to ignore, the better off he was. "I, uh, should probably make sure Georgie and Sophia are getting out okay. You heading out now?"

Audrey rolled her eyes, giving him a nudge “Maybe one day you’ll stop being surprised I /like/ getting you things. You’re one of the few I’m close enough to to give things too, so...” she squeezed his hand and nodded then “Okay. Yeah I’ll go track down Freddie and see what he’s up to. Text me to let me know when you’re leaving?”

Mateo: "Maybe. Maybe I'll just keep telling you to save your money." Mateo chuckled. "I will. You can come over tonight if you want - figure I might have a couple drinks, find something on TV, fall asleep. After party of the century really."

Audrey smiled and nodded “I’ll head over for a bit yeah. I might have plans in the morning maybe? Depending on what Freddie wants to do. Or Cressida since she’s moving in with us, but all afternoon I’m yours and I’ll bring a bottle too to add to your collection.” She teased, kissing his cheek again before moving to pull away so they could get back to the party.

Mateo "Alright, sounds like a plan..." Mateo let her go and slipped back into the crowd, appearing as if he'd never left it at all. As soon as he'd gotten visual confirmation that Georgie and Sophia had left the party safely, Mateo headed back to the Estate to his small cottage.

It didn't take long for him to get comfortable again. After a quick shower, he slipped into a pair of sweats and a wifebeater before breaking the seal on a new bottle of whiskey. He was only about one glass into it before he heard the knock on his door, signaling Audrey's return. "Hey... already got a glass waiting for you."

Audrey stayed at the party for a while longer before finally deciding to head home. She hung the gown back up carefully and changed into a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, leaving the makeup on and just undoing all the clips and pins from her hair and leaving it in waves down her back, figuring she'd leave it as is for now. Gathering up the bags she had for Mateo and leaving a note for Freddie before she headed back out and soon enough she was at his door and smiling, "This is why you're my best friend." She teased as she walked in.

Mateo: "Among other things, I hope," Mateo chuckled, reaching for his own glass. "Honestly, don't know why we're using glasses. Could just start drinking from the bottle. Ring in 2019 the right way."

Audrey snorted at that, giving him a nudge as she walked by him. She put the bags down on his couch before tugging her coat off, easily getting comfortable in his space. "Because we're adults. You especially, old man." she teased as she walked over to him and grabbed his hand, tugging him over, "Now c'mon, present time!"

Mateo: "Hey, hey - remember that whole respect your elders thing?" Mateo smirked, rolling his eyes as he followed her toward the couch. "Auds - you really, really didn't have to do all this... I do appreciate it, but you ain't got to, you know... just coming and drinking is enough." Still, he obliged her, picking up one of the bags to open. He pulled out the shoes first, grinning. "Christ, Auds, these are nice - thank you."

Audrey shrugged, "I'm a rebel." she told him with a grin before nudging him again, "Will you stop. I know I don't have to. But I want to. Don't act like you won't get me something when my birthday rolls around." She added, her grin just widening as he opened up one of the first bags and as he did so she took the glass he'd poured for her, smiling at his reaction, "I figured you could use some new ones with all the work Silvius has you doing."

Mateo "Yeah, little easier to work in then my old boots." Mateo set the shoes aside, finding the gloves and whiskey next. It was too much - far more than anyone had done for his birthday before. Perhaps the cherry on top was the sketch she'd done of the small little house he'd grown up in, a place filled with bittersweet memories of his childhood. Delicately, his fingers traced over angles of the roof. "T-thank you, Auds," he said softly, his voice slightly choking up as he looked at it. He was missing his mother far more than he'd let on during the holidays, and his fling with Bianca falling to pieces had only made him a little more homesick.

Mateo leaned over to give her a hug, the genuine appreciation evident on his face. Whether it was her warmth, the smell of her shampoo, or his own raw emotions, his lips suddenly found hers as well, giving her the New Year's kiss that hadn't been allowed to have a couple hours earlier.

Audrey "I'm glad you like them. And apparently the winters are colder here, so I figured the gloves would work too." she explained as she sipped her drink, watching him open the rest. The cupcakes just made her laugh as she took a little box of birthday candles out and shook them playfully at him, "Hope you didn't think you'd be getting out of this either." She teased.

The he was unwrapping the sketch she'd spent time on, only really having his descriptions to go off of so she hoped she'd done his home some kind of justice. "You're welcome." she replied softly, putting the glass down so she could give his hand a squeeze before he was leaning over and hugging her. She hugged him back easily, practically melting into it, but then suddenly his lips were on hers and she sucked a breath, pausing for just a quick second. This was bad, they shouldn't, it'd just make things more complicated..... and yet that didn't stop her from closing her eyes and returning the kiss, her free hand reaching up to cup his cheek.

Mateo didn't know what he was doing. He didn't even have the excuse that he was drunk - besides a glass of champagne at midnight and a glass of whiskey, he hadn't been drinking. All he knew was that he was desperate to fill the hole left behind in his chest. He would hate himself for using Audrey, but she was a beautiful distraction in the meantime.

He leaned into her hand, breaking their kiss only so he could he press one to her palm. "Thank you, Audrey," he murmured. "For everything. For being here..." His brows knitted together and he could feel himself close to breaking - but he refused in front of her. Instead, he kissed her again, preferring to lose himself in his best friend for a little while longer.

Audrey felt her heart beating quicker, her breaths coming out a bit shallow as they broke apart. They'd kissed a few times at this point, but nothing like that...nothing that quite literally took her breath away. She swallowed as he kissed her palm and she nodded, stroking her thumb over his scruffy cheek, "You're welcome. I'd do anything for you...you know that, right?" She asked him softly. She could hear it in his voice that he was about to break though, heard the slight stammer in his voice and she was about to shush him, to try and soothe the demons she knew were roaring through him--but then instead he was kissing her again and instead of hesitating she just went with it, giving him what she knew he needed-- and really what she wanted too, even if she'd never say it aloud.

Mateo I know, he thought, and that's what scared him. They were a long way from Ragusa where that could mean a simple run to the grocery store. Here in Verona, however, the stakes were so much higher.

Mateo's hand slid into Audrey's hair, pulling her closer to him. Usually, he'd never be quite so forward, but this was far easier than dealing with all the shit swirling in his head. "I think I owe you on a bet we made last time," he murmured, pressing his lips to her jaw next. "Y'know, back from this summer, when we..." he trailed off and could feel his face flushing. "If you want to, I mean..."

Audrey felt a little shiver roll down her spine as his fingers moved through her hair, something that had always so easily sent heat sparking through her, especially as he pulled her in closer, and she kissed him back a bit more insistently in kind. Her own love life being in shambles maybe spurred her on as well. She just wanted to feel wanted, wanted someone to actually care about her, and really, Mateo was high up on the very small list of people who made her feel that way.

Her heart stuttered as his lips moved down to her jaw, her head tilting easily to give him more access and as he spoke those little sparks of heat inside herself flared up even more. She knew exactly what he was talking about, had admittedly thought about it a few times, and for him now to be offering it... "God yes.," She breathed out, using the hand on his face to tug him back up and kissing him again, harder this time.

Mateo Audrey's emphatic yes was enough for him. Mateo managed a little grin as she pulled him back in for another kiss, fully planning to make good on his promise from the summer. He could feel heat pooling in belly, eager to please Audrey, to give her back a sliver of what she'd given him. He broke apart from their kiss only so he could ease off her shirt and then slide off of the couch, kneeling on the floor in front of her.

Mateo tugged off his own shirt next - Bianca's lasting impression was carved under his left pec, the healed wound was scarring and would forever serve as a reminder of her. Hoping to distract Audrey from it, his hands immediately went to her pants to get them unbuttoned. "You got to tell me if you get too sensitive..." he said idly as he started pulling them off. "Did I say my record was ten or eleven? Hard to remember." He smirked.

Audrey felt him grinning against her lips as she kissed him and it made her relax even more, glad that she was making him smile, making him feel better- because how he was right now? Heartbroken? She wasn't okay with it, and she wanted to do whatever she could to get him happy again.

She felt his fingers slide down to the hem of her t-shirt and she moved her hand from his face so he could pull it up and off, and when he slid down onto his knees her eyes widened slightly. She didn't expect him to just drop down here in the middle of his living room.. The sight of him pulling his own shirt off right after though made her thoughts shift. Desire pooled through her but it mixed with worry when she saw the gash on his chest, a scar that wasn't there before. She wanted to reach out and touch it, run her fingers over it, her lips, but his hands hadn't stopped and were moving to the button of her jeans and all she could do instead was sit back a bit and lift her hips, trying to help him while his words made her thoughts stutter to a halt. "U-Um...ten? Ten I think..." she mumbled, knowing she'd never even gone past five or six herself and she felt herself getting wetter already at the thought of it.

Mateo saw the flash of worry on her face but quickly played it off, choosing instead to finish getting her undressed. The more distracted they both were, the better.

For the moment, he left her panties on and leaned down, grazing his lips along her naval. His thumb teased her through the thin material, fully intending on getting her as worked up as possible to make his job a /little/ easier. His lips traveled up across the flat plane of her stomach, up her chest, and then finally to her lips again. Reaching behind her, Mateo skillfully unclasped her bra, leaving her almost completely bare to him. His fingers pushed her panties to the side and slowly circled her clit as he kissed her. "You're beautiful, Auds," he said softly, murmuring against her lips. "You really are."

Audrey felt the muscles in her stomach jump as he kissed up her body, the teasing turning her on more while coupled with his thumb rubbing her over her panties before he was kissing her again. She felt the fingers of his other hand against her back for barely a second before her bra was being undone and she shrugged the straps off, letting the material fall onto the couch in a heap. He was moving her panties aside then and she easily let it happen, almost eager in the way she spread her legs more for him. "Matty.." She breathed out softly, the word trailing off into a breathy little moan against his lips as he teased her clit, making her hips rock up for more.

Mateo: Mateo couldn't help but chuckle as she breathed out his name. "Feel good?" he asked, even though the question was wholly unnecessary - the look on her face said it all. But he'd never really been in the business of teasing... at least, not unless someone was teasing /him/. He paused his ministrations to pull her panties all the way off before leaning down. His lips brushed against Audrey's inner thighs first before his tongue parted her slit. His arms wrapped around her thighs, holding her steady while his tongue lapped and teased at her cunt before swirling across her clit.

Audrey let out a little noise in response, rocking her hips up again against him. Before she could even really think about it though he was moving again then, catching her off guard with how quick his movements were. He tugged her panties off and dropped them down with the rest of her clothes then, leaving her completely naked in front of him. She shivered again as he teased his lips over her thigh and at the first touch of his tongue she gasped, her hips rocking up on their own accord before being pinned down more by his arms and she moaned his name again, long and low in the back of her throat as she shifted down lower onto the couch, trying to get closer to his tongue.

Mateo: obliged her, shifting her hips carefully so his tongue was able to press harder against her clit. He hummed his approval at her squirming, knowing it'd give her a little extra bit of sensation as well. His hand squeezed her thigh, letting her know it was okay to move against him and direct him wherever she wanted him. This was for her, after all - it was just a bonus that he preferred being on his knees.

Audrey visibly shuddered as he pulled her closer and hummed against her, the little vibrations feeling like they'd sent shockwaves through her. At the squeeze to her leg she swallowed and moved, spreading her legs a bit more for him as much as she could before she rocked down, slowly creating a rhythm of grinding down against him, moving one of her hands to his hair to slide through the strands, both to push it out of his face and to give her something to hold onto.

Mateo: shivered as Audrey's hand tugged in his hair. He moaned against her, hand gripping her thigh tighter as she grinded against him. His free hand slipped between her thighs next, fingers pushing inside of her in tandem with his tongue, wanting to bring her over the edge. If anyone deserved to let go and enjoy herself, it was Audrey. His eyes flicked up to look at her briefly, making him moan again at the look on her face.

Audrey usually had better self-control, could usually hold off for more than just the short few minutes that'd passed, but in what felt like no time at all she felt that tension inside herself building. Breathy little swears and whines slipped out of her as he slid his fingers into her, the muscles of her pussy eagerly clenching down around them and as he moaned against her again, the added vibrations was all she needed to fall over the edge, her back arching up off the couch and her head tipping back as waves of pleasure washed over her, making her body shudder as she came on his fingers and tongue.

Mateo: Mateo felt the usual smugness and self-satisfaction when he made someone cum that hard. He slowly eased her down, careful not to overstimulate her sensitive clit as his tongue lazily lapped at her cunt. He was smirking when he finally looked up and ran his hands along her inner thighs. "Feel good?" he asked, leaning down to press his lips to her stomach again. "Ready for me to do it again?"

Audrey squirmed as he worked her through it, breathing shakily and loosening her fingers in his hair even as he continued to lick over her pussy, sending little shockwaves through her every few seconds. She licked over her lips and lifted her head, glancing down at him and huffing as se saw the smirk on his lips, "You really wanna try and match your record?" She breathed out, moving her hand down to the nape of his neck and scratching her fingers lightly through the little strands there.

Mateo: "Yeah, if that's what you want," Mateo said softly, gently nosing Audrey's thigh. "It's good for me too, y'know - I've always had a thing about, well, y'know." His cheeks suddenly flushed. "I like it, in other words. If you ever wanted to find out what it'd be like to be a domme for a night, now's your chance."

Audrey couldn't help but let out a laugh, smiling fondly down at him, "You should know how cute it is that you just made me come in like three minutes and then can't even say the words aloud." She teased, sitting up so she could bend down and she cupped his face, kissing him softly and trying to moan at the fact that she could taste herself on his lips. She lingered for a moment before pressing her forehead to his. "We're Mateo and Audrey. That's all I want to be. Us." she murmured, pecking his lips again before nudging at him and giving him a nod that she was ready for more.

Mateo: Mateo let out a little huff of a laugh, kissing her back as he melted into her touch. "Then we'll just be us," he murmured, chasing her lips as she pulled away before he slid back down between her thighs. He wasted no time getting back into his rhythm from before, knowing she'd still be sensitive. There was no point in teasing - he had a goal to meet.

Audrey nodded in agreement, stroking her thumb over his cheek for a moment. "Just us." She echoed, giving him a little smile before pulling back so she could lay back against the couch. She gasped as he literally wasted no time in getting his mouth back on her though, her hips jerking up as his tongue passed over her clit and she bit down on her bottom lip, closing her eyes to try and keep some semblance of control over herself.

Mateo: Mateo wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed when he finally looked up, smug and self-satisfied after managing to tie his record. He pressed his lips to her stomach again, closing his eyes for a moment as he caught his breath. "Been a while since I've done that much, but I'm glad I managed to keep my magic touch." He smirked and slowly leaned up to kiss her.

Audrey kind of lost her head a little by the fourth orgasm. She stopped holding back completely, all but sprawled over his couch with her legs spread wide, her thighs wet and chest heaving. And yet he still continued. Her own personal record was six, so by the time he'd passed that she was left shaking and after eight she'd lost count, lost all track of time and even of herself, barely aware of the noises and words spilling out of her. She was boneless against the couch when he pulled away, barely with it enough just yet to kiss him back, let alone to hum in response as he spoke.

Mateo: Mateo couldn't wipe the grin off his face, highly amused by how boneless she'd become. "Want to lay down for a little while?" he asked, hand sliding up and down her thigh. "Maybe some water?" Slowly, he eased off of the floor and slid beside Audrey on the couch, grimacing a bit at the stiffness that'd set up in his knee. Leaning over, he pressed a soft kiss to her neck.

Audrey hummed a bit again, nodding. Laying down sounded like a good idea. But as she blinked and opened her eyes a bit more to focus she caught the downturn of his lips as he settled beside her and she reached a hand up, cupping his cheek again and leaning into him as he kissed her neck, "You're okay?" She mumbled quietly, needing to focus on him and make sure he hadn't hurt himself first- that was more important to her than any after glow.

Mateo: "I'm alright. Just a tweak in my knee, that's all," Mateo assured her, nuzzling her cheek. "C'mon, let me carry you to bed. More comfortable there and you can get some rest." His fingers reached up and slowly brushed through her hair, relishing the moment until he forced himself up off the couch again. There was a noticeable bulge in his sweatpants, but nothing he knew he couldn't take care of. He reached for Audrey's hands to help her up.

Audrey leaned her head against him for a moment longer, nodding, "Kay...but you gotta take care of yourself, old man.." she murmured, a little smile on her lips. She practically purred in contentment as he ran his fingers through her hair and tried not to whine at the loss, instead taking his hand ad accepting the help up. Her knees were still kind of like jell-o though and she leaned heavily into him, shifting close enough to press her thigh against the obvious bulge.

Mateo: "Careful who you're callin' old - you ain't that far behind me." Mateo smirked and wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean in close as they made their way to his bedroom. He didn't miss the way she pressed her thigh into his crotch, making him groan. "And if you keep doing /that/, you'll have to deal with it before I let you sleep..."

Audrey let him keep her upright, wrapping an arm around his bare shoulders as they slowly walked the short distance to his room. "Yeah but you'll hit all the milestones first." She quipped back. The little smirk on her lips became more pronounced as he groaned and she hummed, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his jaw, "Maybe that's my plan." She murmured, pressing a kiss under his jaw and then another nearer the side of his neck, all the while letting the fingers of her free hand slide down his stomach and teasingly drift over the length of his cock.

Mateo: Mateo shivered as Audrey's hand ghosted along his cock, teasing him in the worst way. "Ain't very nice of you to tease, you know..." Normally he wouldn't mind, but it'd been a while since he came and his cock was throbbing. "It's been a minute since I was allowed anything."

Audrey moved the backs of her knuckles over his cock again, giving him a playful little grin, "Pretty sure after you ate me out for like a hour I'm allowed to tease just a little." She told him softly and once they got to his room and close to his bed she stopped them, her hand moving to the waistband of his sweats and fingers curling in a bit as she leaned up, closer to his ear, "What do you want then?" She asked softly, running her fingers back and forth, "Want my mouth on you? To fuck me?" She tugged a bit on the pants, "Both?"

Mateo: "Pretty sure me eating you out for a hour is why you /shouldn't/ tease me," Mateo groaned, shivering as her hand brushed against him again. He let Audrey take the reins as they made it to his room, tilting his head back as her lips brushed against his ear. "Fuck, Auds, I don't know." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to figure out which one sounded better. Mateo wasn't used to having /choices/ like this. "Fuck, both. Please fucking both."

Audrey let out a little hum, the grin wide on her face and she pressed her kiss just under his ear, letting them brush against his earlobe. It was nice, being able to tease and be relaxed like this. No expectations. Just be. Just Mateo and Audrey. So when he gave his answer she didn't miss a beat a dropped to her knees in front of him. It felt even better once she was knelt down in front of him, like a whole new wave of energy washed over her and she reached up, once again curling her fingers into the waistband and this time she tugged them all the way down, her mouth practically watering at the sight of his hard cock in front of her, "I've been wanting to do this for a while." She admitted, remembering the last time they were together, she never got to reciprocate. She'd have to make up for it this time. She shuffled a bit closer and leaned in, running her tongue alone the length and then back, swirling over the head of his cock. She kept her eyes up on him as she teased her tongue over him before finally parting her lips, giving a teasing little suck to the head before sinking down more around him.

Mateo: It was a strange sensation to have someone kneel in front of him. "Yeah?" Mateo flushed a deeper shade of crimson as Audrey pulled down his sweats all in one tug, showing exactly how hard he'd gotten for her. He didn't have to think on it too long - her mouth enveloped his cock soon enough, drawing a deep moan from him as her tongue teased his cock. "Fuck, Auds, that feels good," he murmured, reaching down to slide his fingers through her hair. It had been a very, /very/ long time since he'd been that spoiled.

Audrey hummed in reply, nodding to him. The noises he let out let her know she was doing something right so she kept at it, laving her tongue along the underside of his cock while starting up an easy rhythm of bobbing her head around him, keeping the suction of her lips tight. She hummed again as his fingers moved to her hair and she nudged up into it, pulling off with a wet noise. "Use my mouth, Matty. Take whatever you want. I'll let you know if it's too much." She assured him, leaning into the hand in her hair again before sinking back down around him, moving until he hit the back of her throat and further still, taking him all the way in.

Mateo: Mateo was a little unsure at first. No domme had ever allowed him to /use/ their mouth - he had to remind himself he wasn't with a domme. He was with Audrey. And clearly she was enjoying herself as much as he had before. "O-Ok," he stammered, slowly rolling his hips into her. It felt incredible. "Oh, fuck, Auds," he moaned, careful not to hurt her as he fucked her mouth. "Fuck you feel so fucking good..."

Audrey honestly loved it, being used like this. Probably as much as Mateo clearly loved being buried between someone's legs. She let out a moan as he began thrusting into her, a soft little gagging noise slipping out but she was so okay with it and she reached up to his thigh, fingers gripping and digging in slightly as she tugged him closer still, nonverbally giving him the okay to do more, to use her mouth as he wanted.

Mateo: Mateo relaxed as Audrey's fingers dug into his thighs, coaxing him to keep going. His grip in her hair tightened as his hips rolled into her mouth, relishing everything she gave him. He could feel his pleasure building in the pit of his belly and his long-neglected cock was overdue for release. "I'm gonna cum," he warned, not quite ready even though his body didn't want to cooperate. "Fuck," he groaned, denying himself as he finally pulled back from her mouth. "I want to fuck you first - f-from behind." A treat he was rarely given.

Audrey moaned again, louder this time, longer, shuddering as he gripped her hair and really fucked her mouth the way she wanted him to. She was going to leave little fingernail indents in the skin of his thigh by the end and she knew neither of them would really care. She let out a noise in response, whining as he pulled back and she let out a ragged noise as she tried to catch her breath, her lips swollen and spit-slicked as she licked over them and looked up at him, nodding. She leaned up to press her lips along his navel, pressing a kiss to the vee of his hips and pressing her forehead there for a moment to catch her breath before looking to him again. "Definitely okay with that." She replied, her voice a bit hoarse.

Mateo: Mateo's fingers grazed along Audrey's jaw, swallowing hard as he looked down at her. She looked as he often did after a long time spent on his knees. "You look real fucking hot." He smirked, reaching his hands down to take hers and help her up. "C'mon - I ain't done with you yet."

Audrey licked over her lips, keeping her eyes up on him, wide and dark and eager for more. This time it was her turn for her smile to turn a bit bashful as he spoke and she just hummed in response, taking his hand to accept his help up. "I was hoping not." She murmured, leaning up to kiss him again- just because she could. As she pulled back she lightly bit on his lower lip, tugging on it as she pulled back before nudging for him to come with her to the bed.

Mateo: Mateo grinned, meeting her lips again in a quick kiss as she led him to the bed. He knelt behind her, sliding his hand up her thigh and down her side as she moved into position. "You know i can count on one hand how many times i've done it like this," he commented, fingers tracing back across her side. It was a strange feeling to be in a position of power; he wondered if this might be how dominants felt. Mateo took his time lining up his cock before his hips thrust home hard, moaning from the soft, wet heat that now enveloped his cock. "Fuck, Auds, you feelsofuckinggood," he breathed, his voice starting to sound a bit hoarse

Audrey took his hand as she led him to the bed before wasting no time in climbing up onto it, her whole body feeling flushed and antsy as she crawled to the middle to get into position for him. She felt his hand moving along her body as she settled, a shiver rolling through her and she couldn't help the way she rocked her hips up a bit towards him, eager for more. She felt the head of his cock against her entrance and she nudged back more, letting out a little noise before he thrust into her in one fluid motion and she gasped, the noise tapering off to a breathy moan as her fingers twisted a bit into the sheets below her. It'd been a while since she'd been with anyone, so the fullness left her head spinning a bit and she took a moment to adjust before rocking back against him, biting her lip as she whined. "Please, Matty.."

Mateo: Mateo didn't leave her wanting - he was anything but a tease. His hips rolled into hers, hard and steady. "Fuck, Auds," he moaned, squeezing her hips tight as he fucked her. "You feel so fucking good - I ain't gonna last long. You got me too worked up." His words came out stuttered, breathless.

Audrey cried out as he gripped her hips and started fucking her hard. She just nodded as he spoke, dropping her head down and shuffling her knees more apart so he could sink into her deeper. “God../Mat/...” she groaned, starting to rock her hips back so she could fuck herself back against him.

Mateo: "Fuck, that's it, Auds," he breathed, squeezing her hips again. He was half sure he'd leave little bruises behind for her later. Mateo sneaked one of his hands around her waist, letting his fingers brush against her sensitive clit as he fucked her. "Come for me again. I want to feel you."

Audrey hissed at the sting of his fingers digging in, shuddering at the pleasure/pain of it all. She hoped there’d be bruises at the end of all this, little reminders of what they’d done. She felt sweat dotting her forehead, along her neck, making her hair stick to her skin a bit but she /really/ didn’t care as she fucked herself back on his cock. She moaned as his fingers found her clit, practically making her whole body shake. “Mat, fuck..please. Please fuck me harder...” She panted, her voice high and breathy.

Mateo: Mateo obliged her, rolling his hips into hers at a more punishing pace. He was /so/ close, and hearing her call out for him wasn't helping. "So... fucking... good..." he stuttered before his orgasm finally took him. He came hard, calling out Audrey's name as he tumbled over the edge. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he cursed, shivering as he leaned forward to press a kiss between her shoulder blades.

Audrey couldn't even really speak at that point, just gasping for breath in between moans and noises spilling out of her, especially as she lowered onto her elbows, changing the angle enough for him to hit that spot inside of her that felt like electricity through her whole body. She was shaking as he rubbed her clit, her whole body feeling oversensitive, too much, and as he came inside her it finally pushed her over the edge as well, making her cry out breathlessly as he managed to make her come one more time.

Mateo: Mateo panted as they relaxed together, dragging his lips along her shoulder blade. He was slow to move away, but as his cock started to soften, he finally pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to her. "You alright...?" he asked, voice soft as he turned his head to look at Audrey, cheeks reddening as the full weight of everything finally crashed on him. "I didn't go too hard did I?"

Audrey 's body trembled with the aftershocks, breathing shakily as she let herself sink onto the bed. Her head was spinning from it all and she just focused on trying to catch her breath, and then to focus on the little kisses and brushes of his lips against her skin. She's be sore tomorrow, but damn will it've been worth it. She felt the bed dip beside her as he settled down next to her and she swallowed, letting out a long breath before blinking her eyes open and looking up at him, "Mmm..no. I'm good. Really good." It wasn't the same high as dipping into sub space, but that didn't make it any less intense or amazing feeling.

Mateo: "Yeah?" Mateo leaned over, stealing a kiss from her. "Me too." His heart was, for the moment, a little less broken. But he could feel the cold gnawing of guilt starting in his spine at using Audrey so carelessly. He'd been the main one to tell her over and over that they couldn't be together, and yet he'd pushed for this just to feel a little better for a little while. No - he refused to think too hard about it. He kissed Audrey again, resolving to deal with his mixed emotions in the morning. "Stay? I got to get up early and work on the cottage a bit, but you ain't got to go."

Audrey tipped her head up enough to kiss him back, a little smile ghosting over her lips. "Good." She responded softly, too blissed out to really realize the bit of a crisis going on inside him. When he kissed her again she leaned up into it, lingering for a few seconds before letting him pull back and nodding, "Kay, yeah. Besides, it's your birthday." She reminded him, shuffling a bit closer to him. "I'll make pancakes."

Mateo "You ain't got to. I got poptarts in there." Mateo smirked a bit and settled into the bed beside her. "Not as good as your pancakes, but then you ain't got to do the work." He was quiet for a minute and let out a contented sigh, wrapping his arm back around her as he fought off the guilt that threatened to overtake him. "Thank you, Auds. For everything."

Audrey snorted, rolling her eyes, "You're not eating poptarts for your birthday breakfast. Nope. We're having pancakes. Deal with it." She smiled as she said it, even reaching up to poke his chest playfully. She settled soon enough though, nudging more into him as his arm wrapped around her and she let out a contented little sigh, "i feel like I should be thanking you after all that." She told him, a little bit of pink coloring her cheeks as she looked up at him and gave him a little smile. "After everything the last few weeks...it was nice to not think about it all for a while. To just...be. With you." she kissed him lightly once more twisting enough to grab his comforter to throw it over both of them, "For now though, let's get some rest. You for one definitely deserve it."

Mateo "Mm, fine, fine." Mateo knew that arguing with Audrey was pointless. For a submissive, she was awfully stubborn when she wanted something. "It was nice... really fucking nice." He let his lips brush back against hers before they finally settled in bed. But sleep never did come for him. Instead, the chilly gnaw of guilt finally overtook him. He'd used Audrey - Audrey, his best friend; Audrey, the one person who would never hurt him. They couldn't be together - how many times had he told her that? And still, he'd used her like she was nothing just to forget about Bianca for a little while. Mateo's gut twisted. He lay still for Audrey's benefit so she could sleep. But as soon as the first rays of dawn peeked through the windows, he slid out of bed and got dressed, making a beeline for the old cottage Silvius had him fixing up. He needed a drink and a long day of manual labor.

[yoosungiib]

Your blog just turned into my favorite! Your writing is beautiful!

Wow!!! I’m so glad my bog is one of your favorites and that you enjoy my headcanons that much. It’s totally ok to ask anonymously. I understand being shy - I can be shy myself too~ :) I hope you enjoy this! It was a fun request!

RFA + Minor Trio jealous w/ an MC’s obsession over a character from a dating game

~~~

★ Yoosung ★

This boy is a yandere so of course he absolutely hates that you play dating games.

He knows that they’re fake but god, he’s jealous.

He wants you to giggle from his jokes the way you giggle at that game. He wants you to stop dropping everything that you’re doing just to play the next chapter of the game.

He hates that game, and he especially hates that character with the blonde hair and blueish eyes.

Poor boy wants to snap the AI’s neck he can’t stand hearing you talk about it.

Yoosung usually just smiles and pretends it doesn’t bother him until he opens a package to find a fucking body pillow and he f r e A K S.

He feels really bad afterwards because he yelled at you, but you’re not upset. You found it amusing how jealous he got.

You promise him you’ll control your obsession a little and you assure your yandereish husband that you love him and only him.

Boy blushes and gives you tons of kisses before whispering into your ear, “I’ll show you just how much better I am than that AI.”

Pillow goes flying out the fucking window.

♪ Zen ♪

“All men are beasts, even in games.”

“You’re not as bad as Yoosung, are you, Jagi?”

Really doesn’t mind at first because they’re not real people.

In fact, he finds it cute how excited you get playing the game. He loves how red your face get and the little dimples that appear around your smile.

All is good.

Until this one new damn character was introduced to the game.

And you were obsessed. And I mean obsessed.

You talked about him all the time, had him as your phone background it used to be you and Zen!!! had figurines, clothing…

Zen couldn’t handle it anymore and finally took your phone while you were in the shower and deleted the app.

You kinda played him by saving the game and being able to redownload it with all your data. So Zen, sucking up his pride, admitted to be a little annoyed and jealous, wishing you would direct all that love and obsession back towards him.

Those puppy eyes Zen gave you had you apologizing immediately and promising to not talk about the guy again. You were smacked by reality that you had the real thing right in front of you!

❀ Jaehee ❀

Doesn’t understand the appeal, but ok, that’s your thing.

Thinks you could be spending your time more productively, but again, ok, that’s your thing.

She really doesn’t have a problem with it until she finds out that your phone is filled with pictures of a specific character you like.

Jaehee never thought of this before… but pictures of her used to fill your phone.

Tries not to let it get to her because she knows the woman/man in the game is not real, but still, she can’t help but feel a little jealous.

Jealousy gets a little worse; she finds herself growing bitter towards the game and your constant talk of it, hates seeing the screencaps in the RFA chatroom, and bloody hell she had a dream where she found you cheating on her with one of the characters.

Jaehee doesn’t want to ask you to delete the game or even admit that she is jealous of an AI, but she feels like she should say something.

“H-hey, what if we play a game together?”

When you guys play a few rounds of Clue, and winner gets to do whatever they want with the loser~, Jaehee realizes just how silly her jealousy is.

Because you are all over her and there is no mention one of the damn AI while you two are together.

She decides to mentioning the fact she was ever jealous is pointless.

Because. Overall. You. Are. Hers.

☂ Jumin ☂

Bruh, how do you even have the game?

He loves you, ok, but privacy is not his specialty.

He knows everything about you, what’s on your phone,

And he disapproves gravely of the dating games on your phone. In fact, he got so envious that he nearly made a deal with Seven to get the apps deleted and blocked from your phone.

Because he has to remain cool and collected, you have no idea that he hates the games so much. He knows you have them, so you presume it’s ok. I mean, not like he’d have a say in the matter whether you had them or not.

But god, he is livid. He hates those damn games. 

Why are you playing them?

Straight up asks you one day if you love them more than him.

“W-what? Jumin, they’re not even real. You’re my husband! Of course I love you more.”

“Than why are you playing games where you date people?”

Explaining the appeal is hard to do, but in the end, internally he tells himself it was pretty silly of hi to get jealous over fake people.

☺ Seven/Saeyoung ☺

Pretty sure he has a whole bunch on his phone too, because hey, this is Seven we are talking about. He lives for this shit.

But god forbid you have them.

He watches from afar, aka CCTV, as you obsesses over the characters in the game.

His sadistic side comes to light a little bit as he forcefully pulls the phone from your hands and has you pinned to the bed.

Oh boy.

Knows deleting the app isn’t enough. He isn’t dumb. You can redownload it.

So he puts a virus on your phone, and all your information gets wiped from the face of the planet.

You can not go on your games, get any of your data back.

Can’t talk to the hot AI’s!!!

“Don’t be sad, MC! You can play with me~”

❆ V ❆

For a while, he doesn’t even know what otome/dating games are,

So he has no idea you even play such a thing. And when he finds out? Not really bothered at first.

It’s just a game, and nothing that.

But then there was this  one character who you were absolutely obsessed with. You started dressing like the guy, hanging up pictures of the guy V cringes and you always smile at your phone when he ‘appears’ in the game.

What’s this feeling I’m feeling…?

Jealousy?

V’s never been jealous usually people are jealous over him so this is a completely new concept to him.

And of course he happens to be jealous over a video game characters.

Wants to be the diplomatic and good husband and just talk about it with you.

He brings it up and you feel really bad. 

It was never your intention to make him feel jealous!

“Gah, Jihyun! I’m so sorry, honey. I’ll never play the game again!”

“Oh no, MC, please, I’m sorry. Play it as much as you want! Just don’t do that characters… what is it called? Route? Can you just reset it or something?”

☻ Saeran/Unknown ☻

Hates it.

Absolutely hates it.

And his jealousy is transparent to everyone,

So of course you try to minimize your obsession, but it can be really hard. So you’ll never play the game in front of him, or you’ll tell him you’ve stopped playing all together.

But he walked in on you playing it on the toilet one day and while your pants were half way down your legs you were chasing him trying to get your phone back.

A g g r e s s i o n is his initial response towards the game half the time.

Will yell at you to stop, can be a little harsh at time; “Do you realize how pathetic it looks that you’re talking to fake guys?”

Begrudgingly apologizes and defends his actions by saying you shouldn’t play those games when he’s your boyfriend.

He gets a little annoyed with himself for being jealous over an AI, which triggers a bit of his anxiety. 

When you realize that is happening you feel absolutely terrible. And then he feels terrible because as much as he hates the games, he doesn’t want you basing decision around how he feels. 

After a heart to heart discussion on your feelings and a whole bunch of kisses and cuddles, you guys make a deal; You’ll not play the game as often if he doesn’t get so worked up about it.

Really, it’s just a game. There should be no stress over it. 

“Hm, ok,” Saeran says before a smirk crosses his face. “Come here then. We’ll play a game of sorts together.”

✌ Vanderwood ✌

“That is probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.”

Really thinks you’re wasting your time playing all those otome games. Those games and some pictures of you two are what practically take up all the space on your phone.

He says you could be doing something much more productive, like cleaning, for example.

Vanderwood will get a little annoyed when he gets home from work and he sees you lounging on the couch talking with AI’s.

But he’s the last one to ever admit he is jealous.

So he does the obvious thing to get you away from the phone and more attentive towards him.

Sex.

Really, he seduces you a little bit, gets you hot and bothered and then shows you just how awesome the real thing is~

And then he tazers your phone.

~~~

Check out my masterlist page to see rules for requests!

*** Until Christmas 2017, REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Masterlist

[dicncs-blog]

         hi hello yes i’m dying up here these kick offs always get me shaken so i prolly wont be interacting for a while bc i got two blogs to work on but hi, hello !! i’m chloe. very excited to be here. ur friendly neighborhood dad, if u will. i also play my bby boy nicki (max irons fc amirite ??), which i will get to when i’m not overwhelmed with 20 things at once. so, if u wanna learn abt my doll, diana !!! just keep on readin’ !

CINDY KIMBERLY? No, I think that’s just DIANA NAVARRO, the 20 year old Brighton resident who has been there for TWO YEARS. They are currently employed at BLUE MOON DINER as a SERVER and their coworkers say they’re EMPATHETIC though sometimes FICKLE. If you get to know them better, you might find that SHE PLAYS STAND UP BASS. Don’t forget; they identify as CIS FEMALE and use SHE/HER!

she’s a princess fair warning

she was born and raised in newark, nj. her parents were star crossed lovers who left spain after their parents didn’t approve of their different cultural backgrounds. she’s been raised as an only child, in a house of love. her mother is a baker and di spent most of her early life in the bakery listening to her mother’s amazing mixes of songs and making delicious treats

going into high school, she had a passion for music and begged her parents to send her to a specialty school, and they did.

di became trained in playing the stand up bass for jazz performance, as well as vocal training, and studying improvisation of scat. though, in her times of being a performer, she enjoyed the studying part more than being on stage. sure, it was fun, and she had a lovely voice, but her passion was knowing all there was to know about music, not to be the one to make it.

she wanted to become a music historian, and UCLA had an amazing program that was her dream to go, but when she brought this up to her parents, they were not so pleased to have her go after such an obscure job title. 

being kind of the stubborn gal she is, after she graduated, she got her ducks in a row and flew away to brighton.

the intent here was to just get away from the influence of her parents and friends and become her own person, who could figure out what she wated. as much as she hated what her parents had to say, they were kind of right. she hoped this time would help her find a new, more stable passion

plot twist, it hasn’t.

now she’s got two years left on her visa and she’s gotta figure out what the fuck to do with her life.

NOW THE FUN PART !!

if u took a cliche mean girls group, di would be the quiet pretty one. pretty enough to be queen bee but without the backbone to support that dominant personality.

she is very sweet and empathetic but if it came to her friends or people she cares for, she can bring out the claws.

and that’s really not fun.

she kinda has this face of wanting to take over the world and then people act harsh with her and she’s vv gentle and soft. she doesn’t dish it out bc she knows she can’t take it in return.

she is built to have a bff who is the Queen Bee bc she’s the perfect supporter. she can look at catty and petty stuff and go ‘hmm yes good i like this good thing i have u bc i can’t say this stuff’

she’s a glamour babe w red lipstick and highlighter don’t touch her stuff ever.

while she is very sociable, she enjoys her time alone. she almost always has headphones in. she lives alone and couldn’t imagine sharing her space with anyone. it’s why she’s never had a serious relationship when she moved to brighton. 

she’s openly bi, and while she tends to gravitate towards men for their supple money supports, they tire her and she has more fun with women, anyways.

there is so much i could talk about but i dO NOT HAVE TIME PLEASE LET’S PLOT I LOVE YOU ALL

[bookwormguri]

Escape the Brothel- Background

So I’ve been told by a very reliable source that it might be a good idea to write down little recaps for the DnD group I DM for. She was very convincing ;3

So I was originally going to start the recap in this post, but I’m VERY long winded and it ended up becoming a background piece about what went into making this homebrew (avoiding as many spoilers as I can). Maybe I’ll actually get into the gameplay next time, WHO KNOWS.

Warning for rambling and mushiness and the writer having no sense of flow:

So for background, before this group, I had DM’d for approximately 3 ½ sessions with my other Curse of Strahd group. That group is pretty vanilla, but I was kind of craving something a bit darker. Even after months this need never left me. (I even jotted out some little point for an overall plot) Through some luck and fate I found some players that I adore and who were as ravenous as I was to explore dark themes through DnD~

So I started my first homebrew campaign. Since I was (and still am) nervous making my own campaign I knew from the start that I wanted the first game at least to be contained to a small area. That way it would make it simpler for myself and the characters to get used to the world without being overwhelmed. I was kinda obsessed with Escape Rooms at the time so I decided to go with that type of theme; escape. Thus sprouted the Deep Fantasia brothel and the Escape the Brothel arc. Sometimes I worry that after they escape the brothel there will be some disappointment that the rest of the world does not have the same depth of detail, but I’m sure we will all live.

And because I have no fucking chill, the ‘small’ brothel became a four-story map, with additional basement and sub-basement for possible human sacrifice purposes? Did I mention I created 69 unique NPCs to populate the brothel? (I swear that number was not on purpose) So far, I’ve only needed to come up with a handful of NPCs on the spot, and even fewer that needed names. (Bet you didn’t know Lady Artana is someone I just made up, did you?)

When I was creating the NPCs I decided quickly that even if they were going to be treated as throw-away side characters/canon fodder (how naive I was then) I wanted them all to have at least one personable quirk. Just something written down so that they didn’t seem completely flat should the PCs want to get to know them better. Soon those little quirks evolved into half of them having their own mini-side quests. Whoops. I wanted this campaign to be light on the monster encounters so in the end, I think I went 180 the other way. ;D

Now, let it be known I am absolutely shite at pinning down how long a session will last and how fast players will complete challenges. I naively (SO NAIVELY) thought that the PCs might escape the brothel in one, maybe three sessions max. I WAS SO WRONG! I had only ever played with one Player in this group and I was going off what I knew from their playstyle and my own previous knowledge playing and built out from that assumption, but my players surprised me. They actually wanted to fully explore and get to know this little world I created. They wanted to talk to ALL the NPCs, ferret out ALL the mysteries, and most surprising of all, they actually played by the ‘rules’ I set out. I have been told that I’ve never once created a PC that didn’t hate authority. I never would have thought twice about breaking the rules as long as I could sneak or talk or pound my way out of them.

But here, my players surprised me by playing within the rules they were given before the game and because of this the time it has taken them to explore and progress is slower, but it has also shown me there is a certain cunning and subtlety that comes with trying to build up to breaking the rules without shaking the status quo. It’s honestly fascinating to watch and learn from. Although, I do also vividly remember having a lengthy phone convo with a friend (PC in my CoS game) where I happy-cried, “My players are smarttttttt!! They’re too smart for meeeeee!!”

One thing that I wanted was for the characters to come together on their own. I know most people have probably played through that awkward first session where everyone ‘introduces’ their PC at a bar and that your background is that you are a merry band of mercenaries. That works well enough, but it’s never really given me the emotional investment I need to build up to a Party that I’d literally die for. So, in a way, I wanted the brothel to be an origin story for the PCs and their party. I wanted them to come together naturally (or as naturally as they could with my NPCs saying, “Yes, the three of you should be here at this time.”) The one downside to this is that in the beginning I had a bunch of one-on-one time with the PCs while the other two needed to spend time on the back burner. I felt really guilty about this, always worried the others were bored. I tried my best to switch between them as often as I could so they all felt included and that their goals were being given the same time and effort as the others.

I think I was very clumsy and awkward with it at first, but what can you do? Growing pains and all that, you know? And even with my perceived awkwardness I’m still blown away with how natural and perfect we all worked together in-game the first few sessions (considering half of us had never seen the other half’s faces XD) I’ve gotta thank my kickass players for that. They really went all-out in immersing themselves in the game, making my job a lot easier. They’re kinda impressive or something.

When I designed the brothel and the various ways to escape, like most DMs I didn’t want to railroad my players. I came up with some foolproof ways for them to leave, with certain plot beats that needed to be fulfilled for them to progress forward at all, but in the end, I think I came up with a skeleton and a few blood vessels of a setting and plot. I didn’t want to be so married to my idea that it would stifle the creativity and ingenuity of my players should they come up with something brilliant (and I’m pleased to say as far as I can tell it has not).

At its core, there are two things keeping the players from escaping, the Brands that threaten to make them go ‘poof’ if they exit certain areas and the various Defenses that the brothel uses to keep people in (and out). Once they solve those two issues things should (theoretically) be smooth sailing. It’s just up to the players to pick up the breadcrumbs I’ve left lying around of how to do both, unless the PCs come up with their own brilliant escape plan (I would be lying if I said I haven’t impulsively burnt down an inn or two in my day). I make it sound easy, but those two obstacles are actually fairly formidable in their own right.

Speaking of the PCs, when designing the brothel I also designed three factions/roles for the PCs to choose from in addition to their race and class: Whore, Guard or Servant. Going off rock-paper-scissor rules I built each role so that they could succeed where the other’s failed or be lacking where others had strength. All the same, I designed the overall escape so that even if every player chose servant they would still have a chance to escape (although choosing all servants would be doing it in Hard mode, I swear).

Homebrewing this was really a challenge. There was making the plot, the maps, picking out music (which I’ve STILL never been able to get work), knowing the rules, picking out monsters, making NPCs, making traps, having technical difficulties every other week. :D

But still, the nice thing about DnD that I always remind myself is that not everything has to been written down. I don’t NEED to come up with a counter to Every Possible Outcome. Bullshitting is my specialty after all~ (Also those years of improv classes help a bunch too~) And these players make playing just as enjoyable for me as it is for them (I hope).

Especially in the beginning (but also now) I needed constant validation that people were having fun and I was doing a good job. Because if the players aren’t having fun then I need to up my game as that’s my primary goal. One of the players suggested that we do a little thing at the end of every session where we go around and say our favorite thing, least favorite thing, and things we would change. This helps me SO MUCH as a DM that I can’t even express it correctly through words.

I look forward to every Saturday game session, counting down the days until my brilliant players can surprise me again in my own sandbox.

Next, I’ll TRY to actually retell some of the most important bits that have happened to them so far.

@@autumninthenorth @nyako-chan @yarking

[save-me-liar]

BTS Creature AU

Namjoon is a werewolf and the future Alpha of the Ilsan Kim pack. Despite the norms he’s part of the small circle of his species who doesn’t actually hate vampires.

Always felt like a lone wolf among his pack

Has an alarming high IQ, which sets him apart from other wolves even more on top of being singled out as the child to an Alpha

Literally could not give two shits about becoming one though and lowkey hates the title

Neville Longbottom-ed the hardest out of his group of peers when puberty hit him like a brick, like jfc ya boi got legs for d a y s

Meets Yoongi when the vampire transfers to his high school

Uses a kind-of secret symbol thing that only other vampire’s can see that gives a sign that they’re chill with one another. This brings about Yoongi’s interest, especially considering Namjoon’s future-Alpha status

Backstory, he got that secret symbol thing at Ilsan’s sole co-species club after he kind of went down on a vampire who did him a solid afterwards by giving him it

They had their last class together and start to bond

Yoongi’s older than high schoolers should be but he had to leave his education because he was bit by a vampire, okay? Fledglings don’t have a good hold over their bloodlust so it wasn’t until he got control of himself that he went back. Unfortunately he chose a heavily werewolf-controlled high school and he’s working on transferring. Or, he was. Then he met Namjoon.

He’ll admit Namjoon is kinda hot, alright? But he’s a werewolf and that’s a no-go but--oh shit that’s a we’re chill symbol okay Namjoon’s definitely hot

Only his family is fucking awful holy shit

They meet in tenth grade and somehow keep their relationship a secret for two years which is impressive considering the way Yoongi’s scent tends to cover Namjoon sometimes

They plan out their senior years together because Namjoon is Done With This Shit™ and he doesn’t want to be an Alpha for a bunch of xenophobes thanks

They do a final Fuck You™ to the Ilsan Kim pack after graduation before grabbing all of Namjoon’s shit and leaving. Yoongi might have shone up at his doorstep (making him the first vampire to step on their ‘sacred lands’ in centuries) only to whisk away their now former future Alpha

They might have exchanged mating marks just before that final Fuck You™ so everyone in Namjoon’s family can smell Yoongi on him too

They move to Seoul afterwards and start trying to make their own way on the money Namjoon’s saved and the large sum Yoongi’s now deceased sire left him

I think it’s time for a read more.

Hoseok they meet at the same club where Namjoon was able to get the no bite symbol on his necklace. He’s a Gwangju witch up in Ilsan looking for some specialty ingredients for his potions and he finds interest in Yoongi (because cute) but then Namjoon is like “mine” and Hoseok finds interest in Namjoon (because hot)

He sorta backs off when discovering they’re together (like, mates together). Offers his services anytime if they ever go to Gwangju. They chill and get drunk together, leaving with each other’s phone numbers

Namjoon gets a cold a month or so later that needs one of those specialty potions. They’re hella expensive and only sold to alphas because it’s full of rare shit and Yoongi, whilst panicking, remembers Hoseok

Hoseok does him a solid. A threesome is his only required payment after Namjoon’s healthy. Yoongi’s kind of ??? But thankful. Namjoon is too, now that he can breathe through his nose

Somehow they become friends and Hoseok is now permanently in their lives

Hoseok wanted his own fairytale coffeeshop AU to happen. He makes potions on the side still because even though it’s the Family Business™ (and Talent) he doesn’t much like staining his hands red with questionable liquids or smelling like frog intestines all the time.

The cafe is protected by some rune barriers. Not Hoseok’s best work, but it’s efficient for keeping out humans.

Yoongi and Namjoon are taking music-oriented classes at the local university. Hoseok finished high school but he doesn’t really feel? the need? to go to school. His classes consist of going to a dance studio and actually being a teacher himself.

All three of them live above the cafe (it has two apartments, both with two bedrooms and single bathrooms) Hoseok sometimes sleeps over at their place when he’s feeling lonely. Or when he’s attempting to join in on their sex life. The duo indulges sometimes.

Jungkook the siren moves up to Seoul where he stumbles upon the cafe where Hoseok is flitting around the coffee machines. There’s floating cups making their own cappuccinos and an amused but awed line of customers as they watch Hoseok work his magic with his dancing fingers (and occasionally a cinnamon stick-turned-wand used unintentionally) and it’s?? Amazing? What Jungkook left Busan to find?

Jungkook takes a seat at the bar and just watches because he’s never seen magic so openly displayed. Especially by such a pretty face.

Hoseok doesn’t notice him because Kookie knows how to fade into the background and plus it had been a hectic day so Kookie gets to see what Hoseok’s like when that heart smile drops and he starts rubbing at his temple like he has a headache with that serious face and wow Jungkook can feel his cheeks flaming

Then Hoseok notices him and smiles back. With a hint of panic. And also interest because that shy smile in return has bunny teeth and Hoseok may not have Namjoon’s nose but he can smell the ocean and sea salt and he’s used to the earth and mountains but holy shit does this kid smell like home.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see you. What can I get you?”

“Your number maybe?”

Hoseok is red. Jungkook is a mortified tomato. Did that really just come out of his mouth? Holy shit. Abort abort abort.

“How about my address, my bed’s right up stairs?”

Now Jungkook is a mortified but relieved tomato. Hoseok is a firetruck and wants to shrivel into dust. Did that really just come out of his mouth? Holy shit. Run run run.

“Oi, Hobi, don’t go perving on the kids. Also get me some coffee.” Yoongi’s interrupts.

“I’m 20” Jungkook tries to defend. Hoseok’s wish to eradicate himself escalates. He’s 23 and this kid is barely legal. Fuck.

“Yeah, keep it in your pants, man”

“You’re one to talk”

“Who was trying to initiate a threesome with me and my mate last night?”

“I was lonely and needed to get my dick wet hyung, let me live”

Well then. At least Jungkook knows Mr. Sunshine Smile is into guys now

Taehyung meets them because he knew Yoongi before Yoongi went to Ilsan and Namjoon is just??? Who is this tall lanky faerie who’s hella pretty with a boxy smile that is rubbing all up on his mate, get off you little shit

He is very very very interested in how Namjoon got Yoongi to date him

“You don’t understand, I tried to kiss him once and he wouldn’t talk to me for weeks”

“You were drunk as hell and had just vomited”

“Weeks, hyung, weeks”

Taehyung is good at runes and barriers and things Hoseok sucks at so of course the witch welcomes him into the apartments eagerly

Half of this eagerness is caused from Tae looking like a model but we’re not talking about that. Then he discovers that Tae’s kind of an odd duck but hey, he knows his magick

They nerd out together a lot over spellbooks

Jimin finds him a month later. He’s a mermaid from Busan and kind of in love with Tae so he followed him after the faerie stupidly left him without a word to find Yoongi.

“Jiminie!” smack

“Holy shit that looked like it hurt” -Hoseok

“Jimin, holy shit ow, I thought you loved me!” -Taehyung

Smack “don’t” smack “leave” smack “me” smack “again”

Sudden attention brought to the youngest when he comes in hoping for some quality time with Hoseok at the counter

“JUNGKOOKIE?” -Jimin

“Jung-who-ie?” -Taehyung

“Jung-runny” -Kookie as he flees. Hoseok is confused, jealous, and turned on as he watches Jimin body tackle his jailbait.

Jimin and Jungkook kind of knew each other since childhood (and formed a love/hate friendship) because of Busan mermaid-siren community being a relatively tight-knit kind of place.

Jungkook had no say in this friendship

Taehyung is just jealous “OI OFF, OFF, JIMINIE’S MINE FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN” he won’t admit he’s kinda turned on too, he won’t

Most likely a foursome some nights in the future

Jimin may or may not avoid the cafe like the plague even as he crashes on Taehyung and Hoseok’s couch.

“If I get even a lick of water on me I grow a tail why do you think I don’t go downstairs”

“But Jungkook-”

“Mermaids and sirens are not the same, holy Poseidon Tae pick up a book”

Jin is introduced to them through Yoongi who needed a singer for his most recent work in his college music class

Namjoon is kinda star struck

Yoongi is jealous and not amused. Is this how Namjoon felt about Tae because Yoongi understands now and he would like it to stop please

“He’s a dragon, Yoongi”

“He’s a pink dragon”

“But a dragon, hyung”

Hoseok and Taehyung team up with Jin allowing them to use his scales for their new rune barrier base for the cafe because it’s one of the strongest magical conduits/protections but extremely hard to get the scales because they have to be willingly given.

Jin is a mother hen and everyone suffers (and enjoys) it

Everyone also learns not to frighten Jin too much because flames sometimes snort out of his nose if he’s scared enough and he once caught Yoongi’s favorite recliner on fucking fire

The first time everyone sees Jin in his dragon form is kind of...well, terrifying? Awe-inspiring? Namjoon and Yoongi both might have been inspired to write songs on the spot? Because there’s nothing like a fifty foot fire-lizard staring down at you to put your role in life into perspective

Yoongi takes back his pink jokes, Jin’s teeth are as long as his fucking arm, he agrees with Namjoon’s starstruck wonder

Jin and Jungkook become closer friends than even Jimin and Jungkook. The mermaid is Not Amused™ but also it’s nice? To see Jungkook having so much fun?

Hoseok tries to lure Jin into bed with him, of course

Jungkook refuses to get into that mess. This is his hyung, he doesn’t want to see his dick (they’re all his hyungs, technically, but he doesn’t want to see any of their dicks. Well, maybe Hoseok’s)

Jin politely refuses. He’s not getting into that mess.

Jin’s currently getting a master’s in culinary arts so that he can boast it alongside his teaching, law, and medical degrees. He likes being certified in things. Everyone else just appreciates food that isn’t the leftover pastries from the cafe

Everyone’s also wondering how old he is but Jin isn’t telling

[bleedingcoffee42]

Casablanca AU-Part 2

Part 1.  I just kept going.   Couldn’t stop. I wasn’t planning on writing today.  

However.... I have my Lazlo now.  *cackles*

xxxxxx

“Well Miss Hawkeye! It looks like you found Roy after all!”

Hughes.   King of perfect timing.   Roy took a deep breath and composed himself.  Hughes didn't need to know his weakness.  They rivals not friends, despite their cozy arrangement.   “I'm not a hard man to find.”

Hughes slapped Roy in the shoulder. “All the same, I thought I should be as helpful as possible when  a pretty lady was looking for you.”

“Hardly a mystery when we're standing in 'Mustang's Bar'.”  Roy countered and feeling confident his emotions were in check he turned to Hughes.  

“I appreciate your help, Chief Hughes.”  Riza said and could see Roy was on the defensive now.   She wasn't upset, she wasn't here to try to take advantage of him, she just knew it would be harder to talk when he was guarded.  

“Perhaps I can get you two a drink?” Hughes asked and Roy continued to give him that 'Fuck off' glare.

“You don't work here.” Roy growled.

“I work for the people of this fine town, you happen to be one of them.”  Hughes winked.  He turned and stole a wine bottle off another couple's table and sat it down on theirs.   Then he swiped some glasses off  a passing waitress's tray and sat them all down on the table.   “You know Roy, she was asking about you earlier in a way that kinda...made me a little jealous.”

“Well consider your duty fulfilled.” Roy said dryly.  “I'll recommend you for promotion.”

“Sit.”  Hughes said and shoved Roy into a chair and then grabbed the wine bottle and pulled his army knife out of his pocket.  He flicked open the corkscrew and then twisted it into the cork.  With a wink at Hawkeye he popped the cork and then grinned.  “Isn't he thoughtful?”

“Yes, he is.”  Riza said and watched the wine fill the glass.  

“There you go again, saying things like you already know him.” Hughes  leaned on Roy's shoulder to prevent him from getting up.

“We met during the war.”  Riza said.

“Really?”  Hughes said.    “Please share details.  Was he strapping in his uniform?  Any facial hair?”

“Who can remember?”  Roy said and considered elbowing Hughes in the crotch.  “It was a long time ago. Time goes by.”

“I remember all the details.”  She said.  “The smell of smoke in your uniform, the way you had to shake the sand out of your gloves and the way the sand would fall out of your hair when you ran your hand through it.   I remember every second.”

“You were a sniper.  Studying details were your specialty.”  He said and tried to not look in her eyes, but couldn't resist a glance.   Did the memories pain her like they did him?

“This is why you're not married.” Hughes whispered and squeezed Roy's shoulder.  

“I'm not married because the girl I proposed to left me standing at the train station waiting for her.” Roy said bitterly.   “I suppose it's all a lot easier to do from a distance, isn't it?”

Hughes was surprised by that and let his hand fall from Roy's shoulder.   Roy stood up and offered him his seat.

“Enjoy your drinks, put them on my tab.  I have a bar to run.”  Roy got up and turned around, he wasn't going to do this here and now.  He was too bitter, too hurt and too eager to lash out.   How loved her, still loved her and always would love her, this was not the way he wanted to treat her.

Riza bit her lip as he turned his back to her and walked away.   Tears begged to fall from her eyes but she took every ounce of self restrain she had to force them to stay where they were.   “I should be going.”

Hughes stood there with his wine bottle and watched them go their separate ways.  Odd that she show up now just as this hunt was on for travel documents and a famous man named Lazlo.   He set the bottle back down on the table he took it off of and then set the glasses beside the plates.  The couple dancing or gambling in the back room would never know it had been opened for someone else.  

Xxxxxxxxxxx

“We're closed.”  Havoc leaned on the door and lit his cigarette as he eyed Riza coming towards the entrance.   They were done for the night but it appeared that someone was not.

“I know I'm not welcome...”  She said and Havoc brought his cigarette to life and held up a finger.

“Riza, you were the most welcome person...”  He blew some smoke in the air as he thought about that night in the past when they all had been so damned happy.   “We saw the war change him and then he brought you home with him and he was alive again.  We all welcomed that, we welcomed you and you never came.  We welcomed you with open arms.”

She looked away.   “I need to talk to him.”

“A little late for that, but go ahead.”  Havoc walked a few steps and cleared a path to the door.  

Riza walked into the dark bar and saw him wiping down a table.   She let the door close behind her and studied him as he was now stripped down to just his shirt with rolled up sleeves for closing duties.  He looked thin.  He looked lost in his task.   “Roy?”

He stopped buffing the table and leaned on the rag and contemplated his next move.  He wanted to tell her to leave but he also wanted an answer.   “What did you come here for? I know it wasn't for me.”

All business.  Professional.   He wasn't in the mood for anything else.  “I came here to meet Yoki, he had papers I was going to purchase.  Travel papers.”

Roy stood up and threw the rag across the dining area so it landed somewhere behind the bar.  “Why am I not surprised?  You...are only interested in leaving.”

He was hurt and she hated that she had done this to him.   Hated that she couldn't make it better.  “Roy...”

“Tell me the truth, Riza.”  He said and walked over to her.  God, she still was so beautiful. Even in the dimmest light he could still see her features.   “Is this for Lazlo?  I can't help but see this as more than coincidence,  you showing up just as everyone is looking for him.”

“Yes.”  She replied.

“Ah.”  He said.  He kind of hoped she would lie.   “So the famous Lazlo who has this incredible weapon who could end the war...was he the reason you left me standing on that train platform with my heart in my hand? “

“Yes.”  She replied and closed her eyes.  “You have to know that I loved you.  You know what we shared was genuine.”

“Then what the hell happened?”  He asked.  “Because you spend a war being merciful with your shots, making sure your prey doesn't suffer, and you left me bleeding out in the worst pain imaginable waiting for you.”

“I thought he was dead.”  She said.  “I thought he was dead or I would have never let things develop between you and I.   When the war was over I heard he was still alive, being kept hostage by the government for his research.   I had one opportunity to save him and unfortunately it came at the time when a train was leaving in one direction for him and the other direction with you.”

“And now you want to leave again with him...but you need my help.” Roy shook his head.   “He's a lucky man, I suppose he should try that luck of his in obtaining his papers himself.”

“Roy, I never wanted things to turn out this way.  I loved you and I still do.”  She wanted to reach out and touch him but it would make things so much harder to leave. “We talked about our goals and responsibilities and unfortunately mine take me away from you.  I can't tell you more because I am trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?”  He asked.   “We were supposed to watch each others backs and now you're telling me that I can't even know the truth because you're trying to protect me?”

“Lazlo's research taints everyone who comes close to it.   It's dangerous and I don't want you knowing anything about it.”  She said and finally grabbed his arm.  “Even if I hurt you it means you are still alive to be hurt.   Wounded, but alive.”

“If he wants the papers he can talk to me himself.”  He closed his eyes as she let go of his arm.  He opened them and she looked horrified at the mere thought of that.   “Make sure he knows the extents you are willing to go to protect the people you love.”

She watched him walk over and hold the door open for her.   Reluctantly she left and wondered exactly what she was going to have to do to get those papers from him because meeting Lazlo was not an option.

xxxxxxxxxxx

“Of all the bars in all the world, she had to walk into mine.”  Roy said and his mother leaned over and took his bottle away.

“You're had enough.”  Chris said and capped the bottle.  “Enough drinking over her.  Roy-Boy, you're not the first man to have his heart broke or to cry about it over this bar.   Or have a song bring up a painful memory.”

“You...going to throw me out?”  He asked with amusement.  “Better yet you should call Hughes and he can throw me in jail for the night.  He can torture me with the knowledge I hand delivered to him this evening.”

“Roy-Boy, I need you to stop feeling sorry for yourself.”  She said and ruffled his hair.  “You're letting the past get the better of you.”

“I asked her to marry me.   I told her we'd get on that train and leave the war behind us.  Asked her to marry me as soon as possible, in the first town we came to...whatever it may be.  I waited on that train platform for her and she never showed.”  It sounded so much worse when vocalized.  It sounded so cliché.  

“I'll throw her ass out on the curb next time I see her in my bar.”

“Mom.”  Roy said and put his head on the bar.   Memories of a brief term or happiness in his life played through his head, their song playing in the background.  A song he wrote and shared with her. “All this time I wanted answers as to why she left me, why I wasn't good enough, what I did.  I guess I need her to show me so I can stop looking back.  I want the truth.”

“You're not going to find it in this.”  Chris said and shook the mostly empty bottle.  “You're not going to get it out of her either if she's just using you to get what she wants.”

“The thing is, I...think I like the pain now.  It's what I associate with her.“  He snorted.  

“God Roy, go to bed.”  Chris said and flipped off the lights and started to walk away.

“Can...you play it for me?”  He asked.  His Mom had been a vaudeville singer in her day, before the cigarettes took their toll on her voice.  She still played the piano and coached singers.  Hence his own musical talents and also Catherine's continued interest in this bar.  Here in this shithole, the once famous Madam Christmas was wasting it pouring drinks and listening to pathetic assholes like him whine about broken hearts.   What a disappointment.  

“No.”

“I want to sing.”  He said.  “I try to play drunk and you'll wring my neck for playing bad.”

“I'll wring that girls neck for doing this to you.”  Chris sat down at the piano and cracked her knuckles.   “What did she want?”

“To leave the country.”  Roy said then clarified.  “To get Lazlo out.   She needs papers.   I have them.”

“Give them to her and get rid of them both.”  Chris said and began to play his damned song.  A beautiful piece he wrote as therapy during those long, cold nights in the desert.  A song that had given them all hope when he unveiled it for them during furlough.  Damn that girl for doing this to him.

“Who the hell is Lazlo?”  Roy said. “I know of him, he's famous for his research and weapon that can end the war.  I guess my dream of changing things was going to take too long.”

[inquiringquilter]

My Day on the Spring Clean Your Studio Blog Hop

Welcome to my day on the Spring Clean Your Studio Blog Hop!

Four years ago (yes, that long!) I wrote a series of posts giving you a tour of my sewing studio. You’ll find links to those posts at the end of this post. I share my sewing room with my husband who is also self-employed. The room is over the garage and so it’s larger than a normal bedroom.

Here’s what my studio looked like back then…

When I got serious about quilting as a business four years ago, I came up with a plan for organizing my space. Although I’m pretty computer savvy, I used simple grid paper to design my sewing room. You could use grid paper too!

The photo on the left shows the original arrangement. Within a few months, I decided that I needed more organization so purchased a cabinet from Ikea and moved the sofa table from the living room up to my sewing room to use for a cutting table.

As you can see on the map, my computer desk and my sewing table (Kate’s desk) and two filing cabinets form an L shape in which I mostly work. The Ikea cabinet is close by and it has a small cutting mat on it and a small ironing board. This forms the heart of my sewing area.

On the other side of the filing cabinets, I placed my sofa table and on top of that, my large cutting mat. I have several bookcases in which I store my fabrics, batting, tools, and projects. (The tools and projects are stored in plastic containers marked with labels.)

Under the sofa table, I placed an Ikea set of sliding drawers. I organized my fabric scraps by size in these drawers—1/2 to 1”, 2-2-1/2”, and so on.

As wonderful as I thought I my setup was, over time I kept finding little things that I thought I could improve. I kept collecting these ideas and then one day, I knew it was time to implement my changes.

My Sewing Studio 2.0

Recently, my husband replaced his desk with a much smaller one so I decided it was finally time to redo my sewing studio.

Before I get into the details, here is a short video tour of what my studio looks now.

Switching my sewing table and my desk

One of the things I didn’t like about my old set up was how the sun would come in the windows and shine on my computer screen. Likewise, I didn’t like how little sun shone on my sewing machine table. So duh, I switched them, placing my sewing machine closer to the windows and my computer further away.

Now the sun shines brightly on my sewing area and doesn’t glare on my computer monitor.

Improving the cutting and pressing area

Next, I liked the idea of having a place for my large cutting mat, but the sofa table simply wasn’t wide enough. So I moved the sofa table close to the windows, and placed the Ikea drawer unit underneath (the one with my fabric scraps). My desk used to butt up against the window, so when I switched the desk and my sewing machine table, I left a space next to the window big enough to put the sofa table.

By putting my sofa table next to the Ikea cabinet, I created one long table against the window. Now I have room for my ironing station, cutting mat, and my Accuquilt GO! cutter in one place (a recent addition to my sewing studio.)

Notice how I can move the cutting mat to the sofa table to create a larger area for pressing and arranging pieces for sewing. I love the flexibility of this new area.

So what about my big cutting mat? Well, I replaced the sofa table with a folding table from Costco. The new table is wide enough for the big cutting mat with room to spare. I use this cutting area to trim quilts and to cut long borders.

I’ve placed the table on risers to make it the perfect height for cutting. As a plus, this also gives me plenty of space underneath to organize my other sewing machines, sewing machine totes, photo backgrounds, printed patterns and such.

Making space for photography

As a blogger and social media maven <grin> I’ve learned that photography is important. To get beautiful photos you need lots of light. Although I have a wall of windows in my studio, they don’t get a lot of light in them, especially later in the afternoon when I tend to take pictures. So for Christmas I got myself a photo cube. That’s the big black cube you see next to my big cutting table here. Inside it has lights and a vinyl background I can switch out when I want a different color.

As I was rearranging my studio, I kept in mind that I needed to have a place for the photo cube. In the end, I put it on top of one of my filing cabinets. That moves it out of the way of my sewing/computer area, yet keeps it convenient when I need to take studio shots.

A place for books…(and more importantly—fabric!)

During the big reorganization, I straightened my husband’s books on our built-in bookshelf and found room for my quilting books. That freed up some space on my short bookshelf for my black and white fabrics and current works in progress.

By moving my black and white fabrics from my two big bookshelves, I freed up space for fabric that’s been sitting around in bags on the floor waiting for some place for me to put it. (Oops! <wink>)

Keeping the batting from driving me batty

I had most of my batting stored above my bookshelves, with batting scraps in one of the fabric drawers of my Ikea cabinet. This kinda worked but I wanted my batting all together.

More importantly though, I wanted to organize my batting by size to make it easier to find batting that was big enough for my current project. So during my reorganization, I took all my new batts and wrote the size on one end with a marker so I could tell their size from the floor.

Then I took my batting scraps and pinned a small piece of paper with the size to each one. I placed those batting scraps in two boxes—10” or less wide (any length) and 30” or more. Guess I don’t have any batting in between? <grin>

A home for my printer

Big on my wish list during my reorganization was to find a convenient place for my printer and pattern papers. The printer used to be closer to my husband’s desk and to get to it I had to walk around my desk and large cutting table (and a bunch of bags on the floor) to the other side of the room. To say this was inconvenient was an understatement.

When I moved the quilt books and subsequently moved my black and white fabrics, that small bookshelf had just enough room for my current projects. Since they used to sit on a small black cabinet near the stairs (in a completely unorganized pile—not even in boxes!) that cabinet top suddenly became free! So I put the printer and paper on it. This little change has literally changed my life and made things so much easier! (The cabinet by the way holds tools I don’t use much, plus foundation papers and other specialty items.)

Organizing my thread

The final item on my wish list was to get my thread and my Island Batiks organized.

I’d bought a lot of Aurifil sets as several Markets and they needed to be organized into my existing thread collection, sorted by color. So I went to JoAnns and bought more thread organizers for all the new thread and solved that problem.

I just love looking at all this thread!

I kept two of the little thread collection cases—they now hold the basic colors I piece with. I keep them near my sewing machine so they are so handy! Previously I would haul down the right thread collection case and sort through it to find the perfect white, grey, beige or black that I needed. Another problem solved!

organizing my Island Batiks

My Island Batiks on the other hand, were always a bit disorganized. New collections were placed in the Ikea fabric drawers while older pieces were stored in several cardboard boxes, tucked in various places of my sewing room. Since I’m an Island Batik Ambassador, I like to share the name of the Island Batik collections I use in my quilts so my readers can find those same fabrics too if they want, and that takes a lot of organization on my part. So this was a must do.

First I gathered my batiks from their various hidey-holes, sorted the older pieces by color and placed them in the fabric drawers of my Ikea cabinet. I organized the new collections (including the collections I can’t share with you just yet) and placed them in one of the open sections of the Ikea cabinet. Having them out in the open reminds me to use them (as soon as I’m allowed) for my monthly Island Batik Ambassador challenges.

Having all my Island Batiks in one place organized by color has made a huge difference since I am constantly designing and quilting with batiks. My life is so easy now and all it took was this one little change!

While organizing my batiks into the drawers of the Ikea cabinet, I took the opportunity to organize other items I use often such as my postal supplies, fusibles, and giveaways. Now the Ikea cabinet contains the things I use most often instead of a bunch of miscellaneous supplies I thought might fit in the drawers.

My dream design wall…

The final change wasn’t really a change but a fix. Years ago, my husband installed a design wall for me. I made it in sections so it could be portable. That also allowed me to take it off the wall if I wanted.

Originally we attached it using Contact strips. But it kept pulling away from the wall in a few places. And I never did use it elsewhere so having it portable seemed silly. So I had him screw it into the wall. Now it’s nice and steady.

I love my big design wall!

Well that’s my studio! Here’s what I learned:

When organizing your studio, don’t sweat it. Sometimes it takes living and working in your sewing room to figure out what you really need and where.

Think about how you work. What do you use daily? What do you want to have nearby? (Hint: you probably will want your ironing and cutting areas near your sewing machine for convenience.)

Consider light. Another thing that was big on my list during the redo was light. I just can’t see things as well as I used to. So I upgraded my light bulbs to LED which are brighter and cooler (I hate getting hot!). I also added a bright light by my sewing machine. Love it! I still need to add more lights over by my design wall but that means a trip to Ikea so it’ll have to wait for now.

Little things mean a lot. Sometimes all you need is a little change. Labeling my batting with the sizes has saved me so much time! So has organizing my batiks. And my thread. I lived with the disorganization and made it work but taking the time to organize those three things has made my life so much easier! So don’t let the idea of organizing your studio overwhelm you. Start with the one thing that bugs you the most, and change that.

Thanks for stopping by!

Be sure to visit the other blogs on the hop!

The hop just started a few days ago so you haven’t missed much yet! To catch up, visit

April 1 - Sam Hunter - Hunter Design Studio

April 2 - Marian Pena - Seams to be Sew

Tomorrow is Martha’s turn.

April 4 - Martha Wolf - Pinwheel Productions

The hop continues through April 27th, one studio per day. For the rest of the blog hop schedule, click the on the QAL and Blog Hops tab above and choose Spring Clean Your Studio Blog Hop!

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TEll me…what would you most like to change about your sewing studio?

[fredericksmeg-blog]

One week in Italy

The long-awaited spring break blog is here!!

On Thursday (Feb 23rd), I woke up and tried to make sure that I was all packed by the time I had to leave for class. I ran several very exciting errands, like printing out a bus ticket ahead of time to get from the Venice airport to the Main Island and picking up a sandwich from Pret to eat on the train to Gatwick. I had all of my stuff sorted when I went to class. I gave my presentation (on the differences between British and American humor using the different versions of The Office), which went really well. I ran home after class, picked up all of my stuff, and headed straight to Victoria, which was something out of a nightmare, honestly. Upon walking into the train station I discovered a giant terminal full of shoulder-to-shoulder people. I elbowed my way to the departures board to find out that everything was delayed thanks to my new bestie storm Doris. Basically, on Thursday, a bunch of wind effectively broke London. So I had a good ol’ panic attack and ran to the Gatwick Express platform (all the barricades were open because people were literally sprinting though) because I needed to get to Gatwick ASAP. I managed to get a seat on the train and make it to Gatwick in enough time to get through security. When I got through, I expected that my gate would be announced in minutes. Instead, it said that I wouldn’t know my gate information until 8, when it was suppose to close. And then it was changed to 8:30, when my flight was supposed to leave. Doris strikes again. Fortunately, I found some other people from my program who were flying to Rome whose flight was also delayed and sat with them until my gate was announced. We finally took off at 9:30, and I got to Venice at 12:30 because time travel is real. Luckily I collected myself enough to get on a bus from the airport to the station in Venice, where Bri and Jasmine met me to walk over to the hotel because they’re angels. I got back and showered and passed out. 

On Friday we woke up, got ready, and bopped around Venice. It was a little gloomy but it wasn’t bad at all – our hotel was right next to the Rialto Bridge (the famous one that you associate with Venice) and we got some fruit in the market next to it. We just kinda walked around for a little bit, and stopped for coffee and a frittata at a café near San Marco Plaza. After that we walked around the square for a little bit, which is where most of the tourist attractions in Venice are located. We ended up going into the Doge Palace, which is probably the most famous building in Venice. It was really beautiful on the inside, and we got to over the famous Bridge of Sighs (which isn’t too exciting from the inside). We sat in a huge ballroom for a while and just kind of looked around. After that we went to a random restaurant for lunch, and I had a pizza with prosciutto, olives, and artichokes. We bummed around for a bit after that, got gelato, and tried frittelles, which are little fried balls of dough that Venice is known for. While we were walking back to the square later on, we spontaneously hopped into a gondola because Jasmine negotiated with the gondolier for a cheap ride. We had to do it, so ya know, we did it. We were Venice during the last weekend of Carnival, so people were walking around in masks and full makeup with gowns and old-fashioned outfits. Naturally, we decided to get some masks so we could fit in. We stopped at the hotel for a bit to recoop before we went to Ristorante Pizzeria Dolfin for dinner. We had some wine, and our waitress decided that she really hated Jasmine. I had calamari and salmon gnocchi with some grilled veggies. It was pretty alright. We walked home with our masks on, and got some more Frittelle with Nutella inside. Later we perused some of the Carnival-related stuff that was going on. We saw a few DJ – setups and I heard quite a bit of Daft Punk, so I had a good time. We didn’t really commit, though. We were pretty tired so we just went back to the hotel to go to bed!

On Saturday we woke up and the sun was out in full force. After walking around the town on a pretty overcast day, seeing Venice in the sun was incredible. We walked back to San Marco Square to go up the famous Campanile for those views, which were amazing of course. After that we had some time to bum around before our intended lunch spot opened up, so we sat down by the water on some docks for a bit and just soaked up how beautiful everything was. After that we got takeaway handmade pasta at a place called Dal Moro’s, which was fantastic. We all shared one of the cuttlefish ink pastas, which is a Venetian specialty, in addition to our own orders. We sat on the steps of a bridge over one of the canals and ate them. It was really nice. After we finished eating, we walked to the other large bridge that crosses the Grand Canal, the Accademia Bridge. We got some quality gelato on the way, and I had some real deal Lemon sorbet. We saw another area of Venice, and walked near the Basilica di Santa Maria della Salute and sat on a walkway near the water again, looking out at the other islands. Venice was just really pretty. I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did. We picked up our stuff from the hotel and lugged it to the train station. Me, Natalie, and Bri said bye to Bridget and then we got on a train to Florence. We arrived a little over two hours later, checked into our Airbnb, and proceeded directly to Gusta Pizza, which was 5 minutes from our place and was recommended to me by a bunch of different people. I had a caprese pizza, and I can probably say that it was the best pizza that I had in Italy. After dinner we decided to walk around a little bit, and ended up in the Plaza where the Duomo is. We were like, is this the thing? Yes. This is the thing. We saw pretty much everything at night. The Palazzo Vecchio, the Ponte Vecchio, most of the main squares.

On Sunday morning we did the best that we could waking up. We got to the Uffizi Gallery (famous renaissance museum) around 10 and whoops. The line didn’t look as daunting as it really was because it took us 2 ½ hours to get in. About 2 hours in, I was like how about me and Jas go get sandwiches. So we left Bri there, and we got back right as she walked in the door to get tickets (whoops). At this exact moment we met up with Sarah, and I was panicking because I didn’t want to get back into line. I literally inhaled my sandwich while Sarah tried to wolf down the one we got for Bri so we could go into the museum. Of course Jasmine saves the day by somehow finagling into the building and having Bri buy our tickets for us. One of the security guards was not too happy about the whole situation but guess who got into the museum? We did. The Uffizi was really cool and I’m glad we went. We spent a solid 2 hours in there. I wish I had a little bit more background in the renaissance, but it was still really great to see. The Botticelli’s were my favorite, and they were so huge. La Primavera was definitely the best part. After the museum, we got gelato at this amazing place called Gelateria Neri. It was the best gelato I’d had so far hands down. I had chocolate and raspberry. After that everybody had another Panini (since Bri’s never made it to her earlier). We made our way to the Galleria Accademia, which houses Michelangelo’s David sculpture. We waited in line for just a little bit, and Sarah went to go meet up with her friends again, so it was just me, Bri, and Jasmine. The first ~30 seconds that I saw the David statue were definitely a highlight of the break. You just stare at it immediately because it’s so huge. It’s really, really gorgeous and detailed and we just sat there and stared at it for a bit. There wasn’t much to see in the rest of the museum, it was pretty small. When we left there, we basically sprinted to Piazza Michelangelo, which is on a hill overlooking the skyline of Florence. It was crunch time until sunset and we wanted to get there while we could still see.  We were sweaty and ready for spaghetti by the time we made it up there. We brought a bottle of wine and sat on the steps and watched the sun go down. It was probably the highlight of the time we spent in Florence. After it was dark, we walked back to the Airbnb, changed, and then met Spangler for dinner (he was in Italy at the same time) at il Gato e La Volpe. We had bruschetta and wine, and I had some 4-cheese gnocchi. We all split tiramisu at the end. It was a really great meal and it was nice to just chill for a bit. We went home and passed out because we were climbing the dome at 8:30 am the next morning.

On Monday our alarms went off to collective groaning before we schlepped off to the Duomo to climb the cupola. We stopped at a cute café near the Basilica di Santo Spirito and had an espresso and a croissant. We rolled up to the Duomo and started to climb the 436 steps up to the top. The route that you’re sent on to climb it was ever intended to be used by the public and mostly just existed for maintenance to the Basilica. Basically, it’s a real squeeze. It doesn’t particularly help that people mostly go up and down the same stairwell. The climb was worth it though, it was a sunny morning and the view was amazing. Afterwards though, we met up with Sarah and ate a huge brunch at La Vespe. Then we ran back to our Airbnb to pick up our luggage, which we dropped off at the train station so we could do more exploring. We walked around the San Lorenzo neighborhood so my friends could check out some fine leather goods. We got paninis at a place called Pino’s for lunch, which hangs banners from American universities in it because of all the study abroad students in the area. After lunch we met Natalie to climb the Bell Tower that is part of the Cathedral. (Our tickets to climb the cupola were also good for that) To get to the top, we had to climb fewer stairs, but they were much more cramped and it was not a great time. We had a nice view of the cupola from the top though, which was neat. The descent was not ideal, as we had to nose dive down spiral staircases and squeeze past people on their way up.  To treat ourselves for surviving this experience, we went back to the same gelato place as yesterday. At this point, I was so stuffed. But we wouldn’t be in Rome until late, and knew that we needed something to tide us over. So we walked back to the Santo Spirito area and split a ricotta rigatoni and the most delicious truffle gnocchi that I could have ever laid my eyes on. From there, we said bye to Nat (she was staying in Florence with her friend for another night), walked to the train, picked up our bags, and zipped off to Rome. We got to our Airbnb easily, and planned out the next two days in more detail before passing out.

On Tuesday, we woke up bright and early for a very long day. Jasmine, Sarah, and I headed to the Colosseum for our Ancient Rome experience. Bri had her own day planned since she’d already been to Rome and done all the touristy stuff before. The Colosseum was just really cool to see in person, and you could just really appreciate how amazing it is that most of it is still standing. We spent about an hour there looking fondly back on the times when people would sit in the stands and eat their lunch while criminals got ripped apart by wild animals. Afterwards, we walked up Palatine Hill, saw the ruins of the old palace as well as a pretty great view, and then walked through the Roman Forum. I hung back for a while after Sarah and Jas left because, you know, I am a ruins kinda girl and I wanted to see everything. I met up with them back at the Airbnb where they had secured a tomato and some balls of burrata mozzarella. So we pregamed lunch with some fresh snacks. We ended up with paninis, which contained the heaviest mozzarella I’ve ever consumed. Delicious, but wow. We walked to the Pantheon, which contains Raphael’s tomb and is a pretty remarkable structure. Then we got gelato at Giolitti (amazing) and met up with Bri to go to the Trevi Fountain. We did the thing where we threw the coin over our shoulder and got the heck outta there. It was really wonderful to see the fountain in person, though. Then we went around the block to the Pontifical North American College, where we picked up the tickets to the Papal Audience on Wednesday that I reserved. We had a really nice little orientation with one of the Sisters there, and ended up chatting with her a little and making an impromptu stop in confession. It turned into a real part of our day instead of just picking up tickets, but it was really positive and I liked it. From there we went to see the Spanish Steps, which I imagine are more beautiful when they aren’t swarmed with people, but it was nice anyway. We walked up to the top and decided that we’d tackle Castel de Sant’Angelo next. The castle was originally a mausoleum for Hadrian, and was converted into a fortress later on and has been used by various Popes because of its proximity to the Vatican. It’s very old and very cool and a little weird. Me, Bri, and Sarah climbed to the top and got a great nighttime view of Rome and the Tiber, and especially the Vatican. After that we walked back to the Airbnb, took a little break, and went out to dinner at a place in Trastevere called Il Ponentino. I had a pizza and it was lovely. We stopped for gelato on the way home and went the heck to sleep.

On Wednesday my alarm went off at 6 am because we were going to the Papal Audience! Natalie had somehow made it into Rome the night before and met us at our Airbnb in the morning. We left around 7, and made it to the square just as they opened the gates. We went through security and ran to the chairs. We ended up in the 7th row!! Then we sat around for about 2 hours, but we were armed with some snacks so that was fine. It was really a God-send (ha) that we got to sit. It was super relaxed. Around 9:30, the Pope came onto the scene in his Popemobile and it was absolutely amazing and hysterical watching him zip around. Natalie literally cried. We were right on the main aisle so he came up that last but we were probably only a few feet away from him. I got some great pictures. What a quality guy. Then he walked up to his little chair, and Priests read out the visitors in every language from every country that was present. There was a reading in Italian, and then the Pope gave his message, which was summarized, again, in English, French, German, Spanish, etc. (although of course the Pope summarized his own message in Spanish). Then he gave the big blessing at the end, which is the culmination of the whole audience. Overall, it was just the coolest experience. I absolutely adore Pope Francis. After the audience we walked to a pizza place that’d been recommended to us that was closed, so we ended up at Ombre Rosse and I got a flatbread pizza thingy. Really good buffalo mozzarella. I also had a spritz, which is kind of a blood orange sour beverage. We finished lunch and went back to the Vatican to see the museums. The Vatican Museums were super great. There was a lot to see, from sculptures to contemporary art. I particularly loved the hall full of old Italian maps. I had the biggest smile on my face the whole time.   Obviously the Sistine Chapel was a highlight and walking into it was one of those moments where your jaw just drops because every inch of the walls and ceiling is full of the most beautiful paintings and frescoes you’ve ever seen. As always, seeing things in real life that you’ve only ever seen pictures or replicas of it amazing. We just sat in there for a while actually. I also got to see a few really famous paintings by Raphael, like the School of Athens as well as the Transfiguration. Then we walked back into the square and walked into St. Peter’s to have a look around. After being in the Sagrada Familia about a month prior, seeing another large Cathedral but in such a traditional style was different! (It should probably be the other way around, eh?) But yeah, St. Peter’s was just spectacular. There was something to look at every time I turned by head. Seeing Pope John Paul II’s tomb was very impactful. Sarah and I were going to climb the dome, but decided against it because we were exhausted (especially since we’d been up for so long) and it was getting late. We walked back to the Airbnb for a little break before our big dinner at Da Enzo, which was recommended to me by my friend Kristina who studied in Rome last spring! *Almost literally everything that I ate/did on this trip was a rec from Kristina – if you’re reading this, you are my hero. At Da Enzo we had wine, bread, and olive oil to start. I had a zucchini flower with mozzarella and anchovies, and the most gorgeous piece of lasagna. For dessert, I had tiramisu, maybe the best that I’ve ever had. This was our Last Supper and it was fantastic. After dinner, we just walked back, packed a bit, and went to sleep.

On Thursday morning, I woke up and Jas had already left for her flight to Berlin. Sarah was about to leave for the airport, and Bri and I (who had a later flight with Natalie) were heading back to St. Peter’s to climb the dome. We trekked back to the Vatican and conquered to 500+ steps up to the top before our bodies even knew that we were awake. Somehow this was the easiest climb, probably because almost 200 of the steps were really small and on an incline. It was a little overcast when we got to the top, but the view was worth it. After, we just walked around inside St. Peter’s (again) for a little, and went back to the Airbnb to pack up our bags and take them to a locker service so we could do a little bit of exploring before we needed to leave for our flight. We met Will (who again, was at Rome at the same time) for lunch at Sora Margarita, which is a restaurant that constructs a new menu everyday based on their freshest ingredients. We had some bread, and I had a roman artichoke (delicious) and cacio e pepe, which was sooooo good. Of course I needed to round it out with another tiramisu. That restaurant was phenomenal. Everyone in there but us was Italian and ordering our food was a bit of a challenge but it was so worth. After lunch Bri and I said see ya to Will and chucked our bags in a locker so we could walk around Trastevere for a bit. I got my postcards sorted and we explored for a little. Then, even though we were disgustingly full, we went to a Prosciutteria, because it was the last thing left on our Italy bucket list. It was really amazing and we ate it all, stuffing ourselves to the point where when we retrieved our bags and met up with Natalie I almost passed out in the back seat of our abnormally warm uber to the airport. The airport was pretty easy to navigate through and we made it to our gate in time to grab a sparkling water (I’ve noticed that this effectively combats the almost constant nausea I get when I travel) and get on the plane. Our flight was actually pretty empty, so even though I was sat next to Bri and Natalie, we all got our own rows to ourselves on the real flight. It was lovely. We landed in London around 8 pm and made it back to our place around 10. I pretty much went right to sleep.

That is a wrap on Italia. Wales blog coming soon!