#I know I tend to just get quite when people starting talkin about god cause just

[ghostickle]

Living in the Bible Belt and especially looking the way I do I get a lot of people who. Make it their purpose in life to tell me about god and want me to believe and like they’re usually kinda rude or it’s just backhanded cause 99% of the time it’s cause I look queer but this lady had said something to that effect as she was walking out the store and like annoying but idc I never say anything and otherwise she was really nice and she just came back in like half an hour later to apologize saying it’s not her business and I love that actually good for her character growth

[sadachmesarthim]

towers for your honeycomb chap 2: more meany pants tony

part one

content: tony’s being a dick again, mention of Peter’s Family Problems, confined spaces, smoking, @carelessannie​ is a character and Has A Boyfriend That Is a Real Person I Know, tony calls peter a turtle, crying

word count: 1.5k  //   square filled: locked in a closet!

song for this chapter here -> that’s not a good excuse - eli. 

It was late, it was cold... mid-December nights were usually slow, but not no-car-in-sight-for-hours slow. Peter didn't handle any of those well on their own, but all three?

Working with Tony the entire time didn't do much to help, either.

They'd clocked on together, they'd be clocking off together - it was his worst nightmare. There wasn't anything to do, either - they'd already finished half of the closing list and every single chore. Annie had FaceTimed her boyfriend after finishing her chem homework - hell - the girls'd made a snowman outside the front of the stand, for fuck's sake!

Time was barely crawling. It made Peter irritable - apparently, it made Tony irritable, too.

⁘|||⁘

Annie hung up her FaceTime call with Sebastian, excited at the prospect of food. She turned, ready to take orders from the three that were now in front of her. "Okay - Panda Express - what is he bringing us?"

Courtney piped up first. "I'll just do another of what you're doing, A." She went back to her phone, more interested in her boy of the week than the rest of the conversation.

Annie typed it into her texts, looking back toward the boys. "You two - what is he getting you?" Tony spoke next. "I'll do the same thing. I'm easy." Peter scoffed a bit at that, covering it poorly with a cough. Annie shot him a look. Don't start shit. 

"Peter, anything?" She knew him too well to ask. "Nah babe, I'm gonna eat at home."

That suddenly got Tony's attention. "What, you're not eating? We still have two hours left, and you look like you're about to fall over." Perfect Parker timing, his stomach growled - audibly enough to justify Tony's comment.

Peter shoved past him, making his way toward the back. He didn't want to engage - he wanted to- to- to text Resa, pour himself into some chores, maybe dive into a snowdrift - literally anything but continue the conversation.

Tony on the other hand... he didn't know when to stop. "What's your deal, Parker? The man is bringing us food, on his own dime. You really gonna be rude enough to refuse?"

Peter closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. "It doesn't matter what my deal is, Tony - maybe I just don't like Panda. Maybe I don't want something that heavy on my stomach. Maybe my mom has food waiting for me at home. You don't know shit - so why don't you just leave it alone?" Mmm a bit harsh, Parker, take it down a notch.

Tony scoffed. "We both know you don’t have anything waiting for you, anywhere, Parker. Quit talkin' big and just accept the generosity."

Both Courtney and Annie gasped at that one. It was common knowledge around the stand that Peter's home life was off-limits. Hell, everyone's was - leave your shit at the door applied to everyone else's shit too. Apparently, Tony didn't get the memo.

"Okay, nope. I'm not listening to this conversation. Both of you, fridge!" Courtney - taller and stronger than both of them - grabbed the boys, practically tossing them into the walk-in. The door slammed behind them, something jamming it from the outside.

Her voice was muffled, but they both understood - they weren't getting out until they figured this out. They'd been fighting off and on for months, and it was causing serious issues in the stand. The girls were uncomfortable - sure, it was fine if they were separated during shifts, but that couldn't go on forever.

This just happened to be everyone’s final straw.

Peter pressed his forehead into the door, not wanting to face the other man. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned on spending his evening - and now that he found himself here, he was going to do everything he could to avoid avoid avoid any further confrontation. 

His mouth hadn’t caught the memo. 

“That’s two.” Shut the fuck up. 

He couldn’t see them, but he could practically hear Tony’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “Two what?” He was still seated, from what Peter could tell. At least he wasn’t about to get his ass beat.

“Two apologies you owe me. Me and the girls. For being rude, and talking shit in the stand.” God damn it Peter, shut your mouth!

Tony scoffed. “You’re still on about that? Come on, Parker, can’t you just let it go?” 

He tried. Peter tried really, really hard to hold himself back, he did. But it just... it wasn’t like him, to take shit like this. To allow someone like- like- like Tony Stark to make his life a living hell. Mob connections be damned, he wasn’t going to take it anymore. It was exhausting, and Peter was tired of coming to work every day dreading his shift. 

He got up, turning to face Tony. He might’ve been shorter than him normally, but with Tony sat on the foot-tall milk crate, there was quite a difference. It was childish, but it made him feel like he had the upper hand. 

“You- you- you can’t keep pushing me around like this, Tony. You’ve been a dick to me for months, and I’m sick of it. All I wanted was one stupid, little apology, and you can’t even give me that! 

“I left you alone! I tried to make our shifts together easy, I stayed out of your way! I begged Courtney to never schedule us or rotate us together. Do you know how difficult that is?? Especially in a stand this size, Tony, it’s nearly impossible.” He was near tears at this point, voice close to breaking. 

“And then you have the audacity to come here, in my stand, and talk about my- my family - which was not fucking okay, by the way. It just- it’s so cruel, Tony! I’m done!

“I tried to be nice, I really did. But you make it so fucking difficult. So forgive me for not being able to just let it go.” 

⁘|||⁘

Peter was always an ugly crier. Snotty, red eyes, uncontrollable shaking. 

He was also an angry crier. The two tended not to mesh well. 

It didn’t help that people tended to not take him seriously anyway. He was small, entirely not intimidating. Couldn’t hurt a fly. The second you get him even remotely upset, and he bursts into tears? 

He wasn’t expecting sympathy from Tony. 

⁘|||⁘

He was done sobbing by this point, but the damage was done. 

He’d thoroughly embarassed himself in front of the man he’d just... just demanded so much from. It wasn’t his lowest moment, but it was close. Nice going, P.

Peter was convinced he couldn’t be locked in the fridge with anyone wor-

There was a hand on his shoulder. 

His head shot up, grabbing Tony by the wrist. “Don’t touch me!” It came out louder than he’d intended, and the look of fear written on Tony’s face did make him feel a bit bad. Peter hadn’t let go. “Just- don’t- just ask first, fuck.” 

He released his grip, turning to dig his head back into his arms. He’d tucked himself into the far corner, drawing his knees up around him so he could get as far from the door as possible. He wanted to sink himself straight into the floor, mesh with the concrete, never show his face at work again - 

But there Tony was, looking down at him like he was a startled puppy. 

He plopped himself down next to Peter, facing in toward the center of the fridge. He tilted his head, making contact with Peter’s left knee. “Would you look at me?” Gentle.

Peter sniffled, trying to clear his nose. He knew he wasn’t the most presentable right now - wet spots soaking both of his sleeves, nose probably bright & cherry-tinged. He shifted, just barely peeking past his forearms. 

“There we go.” Peter sniffled again. 

Tony looked like there was a war going on inside him. Peter’d never spent this long looking at him - certainly never this long at his eyes. There was so much to them, so much hurt and understanding he’d never seen before. So much he recognized.

Tony was drawing circles into his shin, now, steady movement bringing him back to the present. “Come on, little turtle, come outta that shell for me.” 

Peter’s eyebrows drew together. “’m not a turtle.” 

Tony laughed. “What, then? Hermit crab? Clownfish? What else hides when it’s upset?” It was a sad attempt at breaking the tension, and he knew it. 

Peter wasn’t phased by it, either. His glare stuck. 

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry. No animal nicknames. I got it.” He smiled as his hands came away from Peter’s body, pulling up in a defensive position. “Plain ‘ole human insults, then, promise.” 

Peter let out a huff. “How hard was that?” 

“Was what?” 

“You said sorry.” Oh. 

“I... I guess I did.” Tony’s hands came down. He pushed himself to his feet, crossing toward the door. “Consider it an accident.” His entire demeanor had shifted - he was back to his normal, standoff-ish self. 

Whoever Peter’d spent the last couple of minutes with was gone. 

“N- Tony I-” 

“Forget it, Peter. Seriously.” He pushed at the handle of the fridge door, thankful it was free to open. He bypassed the girls, grabbing the rest of his shit and tearing out the door. The cigarette barely lit with how fast he made the trek to his truck, lighter burning the side of his thumb. 

When did he get so soft? 

Fuck.

tag list: @longlivestarker​ @bluestarker​ xoxo​

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma [Vampire Ending]

ー The scene starts in Yui’s room

Yui: Nnー Such lovely weather again today!

( It’s still sunny out, so it really makes me itch to go on a walk or something. )

( I wonder...Would Yuma-kun come with me if I asked? )

ー Yuma enters the room

*Thud*

Yuma: Oi, Sow!!

Yui: Wah!? Y-Yuma-kun! Please stop barging in...

Yuma: Come here!!

ー He throws her over his shoulder

*Rustle*

Yui: Eh!? H-Hold up!? Why are you carrying me!?

Yuma: ‘Cause you’re so damn slow! We don’t have a second to waste!

Come on, hang on tight!! Not my fault if ya fall!

ー He dashes off

Yui: Kyaaaaaah!

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: Noー! I’m gonna fall!

Ruki: ...What is this ruckus about?

Azusa: Who knows...

Kou: I suppose our cat and dog are going at it again? Such good friends~

Azusa: Then did Yuma...get chosen by Eve and become Adam?

Ruki: ...

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Yuma: ‘Kay, we’re here!

Yui: ( H-He finally came to a halt... )

Geez, Yuma-kun! How many times do I have to tell you to stop carrying me aroundーー!?

Yuma: Ah, my bad, my bad. Now stop whinin’ like a baby.

Yui: ( He definitely doesn’t feel a shred of regret... )

Yuma: Anyway, take a look at this!

Yui: Eh...What? What should I look aーー

Ah...!

( The snapped roses are blooming...!? )

Yuma: Isn’t this amazin’!? They didn’t even seem close to bloomin’ yet yesterday!

Even after being broken...They continued to suck up water and sunlight every day, fighting to stay alive.

...To bloom one day.

Yui: ...You didn’t give up either, did you? You’ve been looking after them every day.

Yuma: Yeah...When I saw them refuse to wither even after being snapped, I was reminded of Boss and the others.

...So I won’t give up either.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...! You’re going to pluck them? But they finally bloomed...

Yuma: I’m sure they already saw them. Next upーー

ー He moves close

Yuma: It’s time to fulfill my dream.

Yui: ( He’s giving the roses to me...? Why...? )

Yuma: Marry me, Yui.

Yui: ...Eeeeh!?

Yuma: Hehe, that’s the most unattractive reaction ya could have given me. Well, I expected as much from ya tho.

Yui: I-I mean, marriage...!?

Yuma: Just hear me out.

...I can’t become Adam. So I definitely won’t be forgiven for stealin’ Eve away.

...I fully understand that.

But ya know, if I were to give up ‘cause of that, I wouldn’t be stayin’ true to myself.

I don’t care if you’re Eve or whatever, I’ve already decided that I won’t give up on the girl who goes by the name Komori Yui.

I doubt that man will forgive my selfish actions...But it’s too soon to give up. Right?

At this point, I no longer care ‘bout my memory loss.

I truly don’t give a damn ‘bout my past anymore.

My past with Boss is all I need. Also...As long as I have a future ahead of me.

And ya definitely have to be a part of that future.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!

Yuma: So ya better brace yerself.

I’ll continue suckin’ yer blood...Until that man acknowledges our relationship.

So until then...No, even beyond that point, ya have to stay by my side, Yui.

ー He bites her

Yui: Nn...Uu...!

( ...Before I could even answer... )

Yuma: Nn...

Yui: Yuma-kun...

Yuma: ...What?

Yui: I haven’t given you a reply yet...Nn...

Yuma: Fool. I won’t listen to yer answer. You’re gonna marry me. That’s the only option you’ve got.

Marry me. ...Understood, Yui?

*Smooch*

Yui: ...Oh come on...!

Ruki: ーー Marriage, you say?

Yui: ...!?

ー Ruki walks up to them

Yui: Ruki-kun...!

Ruki: Don’t decide something so important by yourself. ...Yuma. Do you truly believe you will be allowed to do this?

Yuma: I don’t. And that’s exactly why I’m gonna keep on tryin’ until I get his blessings.

Ruki: No matter how hard you struーー!

Reinhart: Oh come on, why not?

Ruki: ...!

Yui: Sensei? Why are you here...?

Reinhart: There’s a little something I wanted to discuss with Ruki-kun. Kou-kun said he didn’t know where he is, so I came looking for him.

Of course, I never thought I would witness two of my students proposing to each other.

Yui: ( E-Even Sensei saw that just now...Suddenly I feel really embarrassed. )

Reinhart: Not even God is capable of pulling apart two people who love each other, Ruki-kun.

Ruki: ...Sensei...

Reinhart: While we’re at it, why don’t we hold a ceremony? You might not expect it, but I am actually trained as a priest as well.

Yui: ( A-A priest...? )

Reinhart: Well then, make hay while the sun shines! Seize the day! Come on, go get changed you two!

Yui: Get changed? Into what?

Reinhart: Formal wear, obviously! ...Or that’s what I would like to say, but I suppose your school uniforms will do?

Although I would love to see her in a wedding dress as well.

But I am sure you should wear that once you get acknowledged by the person you are seeking recognition from.

Yuma: ...Finally a teacher who knows what he’s talkin’ ‘bout!

Yui: Eh!?

Yuma: Come on, let’s go get changed!

ー Yuma picks her up again

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyaah! Didn’t you hear me earlier!? Don’t carry me!

ー He runs off again

Reinhart: Fufufu, must be nice to still be young.

Ruki: ...Are you sure this is okay?

Reinhart: There is no problem if their love is mutual, Ruki-kun.

Ruki: ...

Reinhart: There is nothing more beautiful in this world than mutual love.

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: I never pictured myself as the bride of a Vampire.

Yuma: Now yer dream of becoming a Nun has been utterly crushed. Serves ya right.

Yui: Fufu, I don’t mind~ Getting married was one of my dreams as well after all.

Yuma: That’s the polar opposite of bein’ a nun, isn’t it!? Honestly, chicks really change their mind like they change clothes.

Oi, ya lil’ rascal. If ya somehow change yer mind one of these days, I’m not lettin’ that happen.

Yui: That’s my line. You tend to grow tired of things quite easily after all. Just the other dayーー

Yuma: Che, shut up. Fine. Then I’ll make a vow.

...But before that. Oi, just yer uniform is kinda dull. Put this on.

–> If you are playing the Limited V edition or the Grand Edition, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Only watch me forever, ‘kay?”

“I thought they would never bloom. But...They actually did. After seein’ that, I felt like I could accomplish anything. Ya feel the same way, don’t ya?”

Yui: This is...the rose from earlier.

Yuma: Yeah...I’m sure Boss is watchin’ over us as well. He should...be happy for us as well.

Yui: Yeah...! I’m sure of it.

I’m happy, thank you...

Yuma: ...Yeah...

...Okay.

Yui: Yuma-kun...

Yuma: Mukami Yuma vows right here that he will only ever suck Komori Yui’s blood for the rest of his life. There, that’ll do, right?

Yui: ...I can’t feel the love at all, you know?

Yuma: The fuck? Those words are comin’ from a Vampire! It’s the very definition of love!

Yui: But you’d suck my blood even if you didn’t love me, right? Since my blood is especially delicious apparently.

Yuma: ...Che, fine. Come on, lend me yer ear.

Mukami Yuma vows that he will love you forever. ...Happy now?

Yui: Fufu, let’s give you a pass.

Yuma: Heh...Ya really are a pain in the ass.

...Now ya are officially mine, Yui.

Just like I promised earlier, I’ll only ever love ya.

Yui: Yeah. I’ll love you until the day I die as well. 

Yuma: Idiot. It’s ‘Even in death’, isn’t it?

...You’re my very own Eve. I’ll never let ya go again.

ーー THE END ーー

[ryosei-hime]

Date Night

Continuation of Personal Space. Husk spends the day getting ready for his date with Angel and the rest of the night being a mess. Can also be found over on AO3.

Husk groaned as he rolled off the sofa in the foyer, bottles clattering as he disturbed them. He dragged a paw down his face before a huge yawn escaped. A sound of agony followed as he stretched his back, every vertebrae popping and shifting. That damn thing was not meant for sleeping on. A feather floated down to the floor and he followed it’s trajectory back to the sofa to find more littering the cushions. Oh, great, molting. That’s what he needed.

He checked his phone for the time and saw a message from Angel. It was a picture of him splayed out on the sofa with his mouth open, a bottle clutched in one hand, and a leg over the back. He’d captioned it “Sleeping Beauty” followed by one of those winking kissy faces. 

Husk rolled his eyes as he picked himself up off the ground. If he found that damn thing on his social media, he’d kill him. Nobody had any damn privacy anymore. He texted back a threat and searched around his empties for any remnants - hair of the dog and all - until a static-filled voice interrupted him.

“Good afternoon, Husker.”

“Yeah, what’d you want?” 

“Simply passing through, my friend.”

Husk’s lip curled. Every time Alastor called him friend it caused a visceral reaction. Fuckin asshole. He’d rather the fucker just treat their relationship as it was instead of trying to paint a polite picture. You could put lipstick on a pig but it was still a fuckin pig. 

“But good luck on your little date tonight.”

Alastor’s smile turned sharper and his eyes more sinister. God dammit, Angel. Couldn’t he keep his fuckin mouth shut? Husk just gave Alastor the finger as he moved on with his day. He checked to make sure Angel hadn’t blabbed about this anywhere else. But it must have just been good old fashioned word of mouth.

Actually, he’d barely posted at all today which was weird for Angel. Probably knew he couldn’t keep his mouth shut if he did. Husk sighed and dragged himself to his room. He had a few hours to get himself together enough for this. Plenty of time to go over everything that would go wrong in minute detail.

It was Nifty who helped him get ready. Of course, she knew, too. Whole damn hotel knew. She insisted on helping him get dressed up in an old suit and tie. He didn’t see the need to bother. Wasn’t like he wore clothes regularly and they wouldn’t be on him long.

But it made Nifty happy to get him ready, giving him advice so fast he couldn’t take half of it in even if he’d wanted to. He smiled at her as she fixed his tie and stood back with her hands on her hips.

“You look great! Angel’s gonna love it. I’m so excited for you!” 

“At least someone is,” Husk muttered, resisting the urge to loosen the tie a bit. 

“Aren’t you excited?” 

“Ah, I’m no good at this stuff. You know that.” 

“Don’t worry! Just let Angel help you. He’s great at it.” She started dusting Husk’s own fur off his suit as it shed, her efforts only making it worse. “And he really likes you!”

“Yeah, I know,” Husk replied. “Thanks Nifty.”

Nifty gave him a big hug and he returned it gently. Her slight frame made him extra careful with her. 

“I have to get back to cleaning, but I hope you enjoy your date!” 

“Yeah. I’ll try.” 

He raised a hand in a slight wave as she hurried off. He decided to spend the rest of the day waiting for Angel at the bar. That turned out to be a mistake. Everyone had something to say. They wished him luck. They cooed and sighed like it was some big fuckin show. Their words were supportive but somehow they only made Husk more nervous, maybe even a little bitter. This shit seemed so easy for everyone else. 

It had been easy for him once, too.

Eventually the foyer emptied out as it got late. Husk knew Angel would be returning for him any minute. He finally had to loosen the tie around his neck and decided to fix himself a drink to calm his nerves, but just as he reached under the bar, the doors opened. 

His wings lifted slightly as Angel made his entrance. Husk wasn’t the only one who’d gotten dressed up. Angel’d gotten his hair done or some kind of extensions or something. Fuck if Husk knew. He wore a strapless pink number, the skirt covered with some kinda fake flower and vine decorations. Looked like it was supposed to be a train, but he was too tall for it to do much but brush the floor as he approached. Husk actually thought he looked beautiful all dolled up like that. Maybe he should tell him. Instead, what came out of his mouth was: 

“What’re we going to the fuckin prom?” 

“I dunno. Will you be doin’ my taxes when we’re done?” Angel shot back with a grin. 

He reached across the bar and fixed his tie. Dammit, he’d choke to death before he got through this night. Angel didn’t release his tie right away. He used it to pull him closer for a quick kiss. 

“Ready?”

No.

“Yeah, sure.” 

Husk came out from behind the bar and let Angel take his arm. He had no idea where they were going, but he just let Angel take the lead. Like Nifty had said, he was good at this. When they arrived at their destination, Husk was a little grateful she’d insisted on dressing him up. Angel had chosen some high end, classy joint. 

They got a lot of stares on the way to their table. He knew Angel was the center of attention wherever he went, but he didn’t like being caught in the crossfire of all those lustful gazes. A growl sounded low in his chest before he could stop it, his teeth bared. The stares become a little less overt.

Angel put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t scare my fans, Husk. I’m used to it.”

“Well, I’m not. People need to mind their own fuckin business.”

Without thinking about it, Husk pulled a chair out for Angel. At least he remembered something from the old days.

“Whatta gentleman,” Angel joked, batting his lashes at him as he sat. 

Husk gave his chair a rough shove up to the table, taking his own with a grumble. When he looked up, Angel had his chin on his hands, fingers laced to make a cradle, staring at him with such a soft look it took Husk’s breath away. He made himself busy with the menu. As the waiter approached, Angel sat up suddenly.

“Oh, I forgot. This place is Italian. Like Italian Italian. But I can order for ya, if ya want.” 

Angel looked quite proud of himself and Husk hated to burst his bubble. 

“I got it.”

He gave the waiter his order in perfect Italian and looked back to Angel as the waiter turned to him. Angel stared at him in shock for a moment before stumbling through his own order. He waited until the waiter had disappeared before going off.

“You know Italian? Holy shit, Husk! I been dirty talkin ya all this time at the bar and you knew?!”

Husk hid his smirk behind his menu, trying not to laugh. Angel pushed it away and stared him down, motioning with two fingers between them.

“You look at me, look at me!” 

Husk looked up, still grinning. Angel’s face had gone stern, and he held his gaze for a moment before simply uttering,

“You bastard.” 

Husk let himself laugh a little and teased him. 

“You get real creative when you’re drunk, you know that?”  

Angel just smirked and crossed his second set of arms while another hand brought a glass of wine up to his cheek.

“Well, I guess you know what you got to look forward to then, donchya?”

The conversation during dinner remained light-hearted and Angel kept reaching out for Husk’s paw, making eyes at him. He avoided making direct eye contact, insides churning every time Angel tried. Once their plates were taken away, Angel stood and held a hand out to him.

“Can I get a dance before we go?” 

Husk felt a little more confident as he put a paw in his hand. Dancing was something he knew he could do at least. He smiled back at him.

“Sure.” 

He let Angel draw him out onto the dance floor and pull him into a waltzing position. His extra hands found a place to rest on Husk’s hips as they began to move. Angel took the lead, but Husk had expected as much with the height difference. He wouldn’t let Angel know, but he was surprised he knew how to waltz. It seemed a bit old-fashioned for him. Or at least for how he tended to present himself. It was easy to forget he was from an older era than he was.

“Thank you.”

Husk looked up and felt all the air rush out of his lungs again. Angel gazed down at him with such a genuine look of gratitude. If he didn’t stop stealing his breath, he’d never make it through this night.

“A bet’s a bet,” he repeated.

“You didn’t have to go on a date with me, but ya did. I really appreciate that. It’s nice.” 

Husk closed their stance and pressed his forehead against Angel’s shoulder in response. Angel’s secondary arms held him close, his other hands sliding softly over his shoulders and down his arms. Husk turned his face in towards Angel’s neck instinctually. Everything felt so warm and comforting in this moment. Husk had to say something to break the spell before he started purring and embarrassed himself.

“You’re payin’ right? Cause I can’t afford this shit on my salary.”

“Don’t worry. I gotchya, babe,” Angel replied. “The least I can do is buy ya dinner first.”

Husk pulled back and a hand found his cheek as Angel leaned down to kiss him softly. Then again, a bit harder, staring at him through half-lidded eyes. Husk had to close his, but his paws slid up Angel’s back to grip his shoulders as he reciprocated. Angel broke the kiss and lowered his lips to Husk’s ear, brushing over the hairs at the tip for a moment, sending a thrill through his whole body. 

“Let’s get outta here.”

Husk just nodded his agreement as Angel moved towards the table to pay, his hand sliding off Husk’s shoulder as he went. Husk loosened his tie as he focused on breathing. Fuck. This was happening. Shit. Fuck. As he panicked, a feather slowly floated to the floor then another. Oh, fan-fucking-tastic! This shit!

He stepped on the feathers to hide them as Angel returned, trying to keep a neutral expression. He probably wouldn’t have noticed the feathers anyways. He had his eyes locked onto Husk’s as he reached for his arm again. A devious light there had chased away the tenderness that had been prevalent the rest of the night, letting Husk know Angel’d fully shifted gears. 

Thankfully when they returned to the hotel it wasn’t to some kind of fuckin fanfare. He’d half expected some kind of congratulatory party, the way people acted around here. But the foyer was as empty as it usually was this time of night. Just the two of them as it so often was. Angel stopped by the bar and released his arm. 

“Okay, gimme ten to slip into somethin more comfortable,” Angel said with a joking tone. “Then meet me in my room.” 

He made a show of walking away, swinging his hips and looking back at Husk over his shoulder before disappearing down the corridor. Husk just stood there calmly until he was out of sight. Once alone, he threw himself abruptly over the bar, gasping in air like a drowning man. He sent bottles clattering to the floor as he fished around for a drink. He leaned back against the bar and sank to the ground as he chugged whatever booze he’d managed to grab. The chugging became less frantic after a moment and he started to breathe again. Thank fucking god for alcohol. 

“You did this to yourself, asshole,” he muttered under his breath. 

He watched the clock as it ticked away the seconds he had to get himself together. He finally did away with his tie entirely and ran a paw over his head. Okay, this wasn’t such a big deal. God, it wasn’t like he didn’t find Angel attractive. And this would make him happy. 

All of Husk’s limbs went limp and his head banged back against the bar. Dammit, he wanted him to be happy. How had he let this happen? He sighed and let the empty bottle roll out of his grasp before picking himself up off the floor. 

He trudged down the hall to Angel’s room, leaving a sparse trail of feathers in his wake, and gave a light rap on the door before pushing it open. The lights were low and tinged pink from the scarves draped over the shades. Angel had tossed rose petals around the room wildly. He followed their general trail over to the bed where Angel was, of course, poised seductively. 

He’d changed out of the prom dress and into lacy black lingerie, makeup entirely redone to match. How the fuck did he do that so fast? Angel shifted forward and pushed himself off the bed, sauntering over to him the way he approached a pole at a show. He brushed the back of a hand against his cheek as he circled around behind him. All three sets of arms snaked around him, hands working at buttons and sliding under his shirt.

Husk froze as his clothes just fell around him, only brought back to motion by the shiver that went down his spine when Angel pressed soft kisses against the back of his neck. Damn, he was good. His paws rose to find the closest pair of Angel’s hands and slid over them. Angel nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck before finding his ear. 

“I’ve been waiting for this.” 

Husk turned in his arms and tried to think of something to say. All he could think of was how long it had been and how badly he was about to fuck up. He started backing away slowly, but Angel followed. 

He felt his knees buckle as he backed up into the bedframe. He fell back onto the bed and Angel leaned over him, using a pair of arms to hold himself up while the other two ran down his chest. Husk’s throat felt like it had closed up and he gasped for air. 

“W-wait.” 

[s1cparvism4gna]

I Like You A Lot

WARNINGS: cursing & angst

Pairings: Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross, Sam Drake x OC

Tags: @desertvvitch, @courtenbae, @ammaliatrici

A/N: I will fix the read now later today

Chapter 18

Sam’s POV

I sighed as the wind pushed back my hair, air drying myself and my clothes a bit. Also it was hot as hell. So this nice breeze was doing me a great service. I wiped the shmutz off the tinted glass of a pair of aviators I happened to find in the back seat. “These are nice, heh?” I said, examining the quality and putting them on my face before turning to Sunny with a rather charming smile (if I do say so myself). She didn’t even move. She stayed with her chin resting in her hand as she leaned on the side of the car; Staring at the Indian wilderness as it passed by, wind pushing at her curls. I huffed and shook my head, noticing Chloe glancing at us from the rear view mirror. She frowned a bit and then returned her eyes to the rocky path before us.

“Look! Railroad tracks!” Nadine pointed out. Sunny’s head shot right up as she moved to the middle seat to lean forward for a better look. Right ahead in the distance was a bunch of abandoned cars on the tracks.

“We’ll stop here, then.” Chloe said, pulling on the hand brake and the car skidded in the mud for a second. All of us hopped out of the 4x4, our boots landing on the ground heavily. We all groaned. I was sure all of our bodies were aching— I, myself, was tired and sweaty. My hands were dirty and bruised (much like the rest of me) with a few cuts that had yet to be looked at. And I mean the way my knees felt after that simple jump… but it was better than being left to drown in a flooded chamber, I’ll tell you that. Luckily, my cigarettes had dried so immediately I pulled one and lit it. I needed one. With the way Sunny was acting and how this job was going, I needed a bit of nicotine in my system to help me along.

“Asav will definitely have lookouts throughout the area.” Nadine told us.

“Best be careful then, huh?” Sunny commented, adjusting her jeans.

“Right, right, right… And then we lose the tusk.” I added sarcastically. Sunny made a face. One I knew all too well. One she tended to make when she was done with whatever “pessimistic” outlook I tended to have on things.

“Jesus Christ, Sam—” Sunny groaned, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

“Ay— I’m just bein’ realistic here!” I retorted. Nadine chimed in as well, also rather fed up with me.

“You’re welcome to stay behind if you’d like.” She said. I made a sarcastic expression, mocking her.

Chloe calmly hushed us up, shaking her head, tired of the ongoing arguments and petty comebacks between us all.

“All right, all right… Less talking, more walking.” She said before hopping off the cliff. Sunny looked at me in disbelief and forced out a rather derisive laugh.

“Sounds good to me.” She said, following Chloe off the cliff. I groaned stressfully; letting smoke fill my lungs and exit my nostrils as I watched her walk away, dropping down to the next level. I picked up my pride and began to follow them as well.

“So all that time with Asav and you couldn’t get any intel on the buyers?” Nadine asked me.

“He’s uh…. he’s a cagey one, Asav is. Never talked shop in front of me really.” I answered, adjusting my newfound sunglasses in the sunlight.

“Gee, I wonder why not…” I heard Sunny comment sardonically ahead of us.

“Sunny, you’re being very puerile right now.” I said to her.

“Ooo, look at the ex con using his big boy words.” She replied with a rapid fire tongue. I rolled my eyes and took another drag. I decided I’d be the grown up here and ignore it… Sort of.

“Hey, he believed me long enough to think I was an expert in all this Hoy-sah-la crap.” I said rather pigheadedly.

“It’s Hoysa-lah. Not Hoy- sah-la.” Sunny corrected me.

“All right, Hermione.” I shrugged, trying my best not to let her get to me. But, boy, she was really working on my nerves.

“Thanks for keeping him busy for us.” Chloe said suddenly, taking me out of my thoughts and smiling at me as she looked at me with those stunning blue eyes. It was clear to see why I slept with her to begin with. There was a calm about her that tended to ease even the most chaotic of souls. I wanted to be calmed too. I wanted to be near that energy for just a moment. But in retrospect, it wasn’t worth it. Not to have Sunny this upset with me. I’d take it back if I could… I ran my fingers through my hair nervously and nodded, feigning a confidence that wasn’t really there to begin with.

“Yeah, I mean, I knew everything would work out…. I just wanted to buy you guys some time…. in case you were coming to get me.” I said, looking over the edge of the next cliff. She placed a gentle roughed up hand on my arm and squeezed it.

“Of course we were!” She grinned. Her energy brought a faint smile to my face and I forced a laugh, leaning towards her.

“Seriously, though. Thanks. I thought I was a goner.” I whispered to her.

“I wouldn’t let that happen. Sunny wouldn’t let that happen.” She said, nodding in her direction. I sighed. Even being upset with me, she once again saved my ass. “And your brother would never let me hear the end of it.” She added. I burst into laughter as I followed her across the cliff. Sunny and Nadine both looked back at me. Neither was very happy with me. They seemed to be talking amongst themselves. I could only imagine what about.

We walked along the green grass, looking out at the tracks that hovered above a misty and grassy wetland. It was rather nice if I was being honest. India had spectacular views and I was glad I got to see it all. That Sunny got to see it all. She deserved to see the world more than anybody. I finished my cigarette and tossed the filter over the edge as we came upon a waterfalled cave. Looking in, there was a mudslide inside. “Let’s find out where this goes.” Chloe said before jumping in and sliding away. I stepped aside and gestured to the cave.

“Ladies first.” I sighed. Nadine glared at me, bumping her muscular shoulder into me as she passed, knocking me off balance.

“Very mature.” I grumbled as she slid down after Chloe. Sunny just walked by and slid down without even really looking at me. I took a deep breath and slid down after her.

“I found the train tracks! Sort of….” I heard Chloe say as I approached the bottom. Sitting at the door of the hill were a bunch of broken slabs of wood. The cave probably was once part of a train route from what I gathered. As we came out onto the sunlit cliff, we could see more tracks in the distance.

“It’s weird to see everythin’ sorta go back to normal… After bein’ around Hoysala ruins all day. More modern structures are showin’ up now.” Sunny said as she looked around. I took the opportunity to attempt a conversation again.

“Well it’s either British or Portuguese. So not quite modern. Probably around 18— aaand you don’t care…” I said, biting my lip. Sunny grunted as she dropped to the ground to follow Chloe. I threw my head back in discouragement. Nadine shrugged as she looked at me and began to go behind them. Then she stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me, her bright brown eyes narrowed.

“You did a stupid thing, Drake. She’s hurt.” She told me. I blinked at her a couple times. It seemed like she was maybe trying to…..help me. I wrinkled my bushy brows as I continued to listen to her. “I don’t know why but… she loves you. And she won’t say it. Not to your face. But I know she does care a great deal about you. Just give her some time.” She said. I was surprised. When did she start to care about how Sunny was feeling? Regardless, I took the advice and pushed on. Just as I jumped down, I watched Sunny be the first to cross a wooden beam. Immediately, that familiar niggling feeling kicked in.

“Sunny, what the hell?! Is that thing even stable?!” I yelled. She just kept going until she got to the other side.

“It’s fine. Hurry up and cross it before it’s not. Your luck, it’ll break in half.” She retorted, climbing a wall and crawling into a tight space. As she disappeared, I couldn’t help but to be surprised. Heights weren’t her thing. Now all of a sudden it’s “Balls to the Wall”, “No Guts, No Glory”? Maybe the job had cured her of her acrophobia. Or maybe I pissed her off that much…

I followed the girls across the beam and through the crawl space (And no. It didn’t break). Above us, the sound of a chopper could be heard. The winds from its propellers pushing the treetops about, shaking loose leaves to the ground. As long as we stayed in the shadows and tree lines, I knew we’d be fine. “Asav thinks we’re all dead. Let’s keep it that way.” Nadine said, before heading up more rocks. It was interesting seeing her on the other side of enemy lines. And even better, without a gun to my head. Or a knife to my throat. Maybe if I asked the right questions, I could find a glimpse of a person inside that walking dead shell.

“So, Nadine—” I began but she growled and folded her strong arms across her chest.

“We are not on a first name basis.” She said. I chuckled.

“Okay, fine… I heard you worked for Asav, too?” I asked, carefully.

“What about it?” She grunted, narrowing her eyes and cocking a thin brow.

“I mean… How did you deal with the torture?” I asked.

“Wha… Did he torture you??”

“Oh yeah...” I groaned in all seriousness. He didn’t torture me physically but he might as well have. “Wouldn’t stop talkin’ about himself or his cause. Like, I get it, man. You don’t gotta sell me on it— I’m just lookin’ to make some scratch, y’know?” I chuckled lightly. Chloe shook her head and groaned.

“I can’t stand when people prattle on incessantly.” She said, climbing the next short cliff ahead.

“God, me either.” I agreed. Then Sunny walked by making some odd noise of disgust.

“Wow, you have so much in common.” She said, staley before climbing the cliff behind Chloe. I took a deep breath to calm myself. At this point, she was really just irking me. I’m not exactly what you would call a patient man. But I was enjoying the job, to be honest. And I damn sure wasn’t gonna let her ruin it.

We followed Chloe up the inside of a waterfall’s cave and out through thick vines. “If I had known, I would’ve packed my machete.” She said simply, herself and Nadine pushing the vines apart. The way Sunny’s face lit up when she said that, almost made me forget I was in hot water for a moment. Her big brown eyes, widening and practically shimmering as her freckled cheeks fattened up when she gave that dazzling smile. I could feel my ears burning up and I turned away to light myself a cigarette. Chloe gave her a doting smile as she passed between the vines.

“You have a machete?” She asked, softly.

“Tell you what. We make it out of this alive? I’ll mail it to you.” Chloe grunted as she struggled to keep the vines apart. She nodded to Nadine to go next but just to be an ass, I slid in at the last second.

“Thank you, good gentlewomen.” I grumbled as I weaved my slender limbs through to the other side. Sunny just crossed her arms and scoffed at me. I huffed, dropping my shoulders and gesturing to the vines. “They’re gonna need someone to hold open the other end!” I said, trying to cover myself. But truthfully, I wasn’t a total ass. “Come grab the other side.” I told her as I let my cigarette hang loosely between my lips. I grabbed a vine towards the middle and began to pull.

She stared at me a moment and groaned lightly as she came to grab the other vine. She grunted as she began to pull as well, her muscles taut and flexing as she did as much as she could. Just then Nadine had come out, then Chloe. Soon as they were fine, the path was pretty clear. Even for Sunny, who had already run and jumped across the rushing ravine and was starting to climb up the seeable handholds. I rushed across after her just to make sure she’d be okay. She made it up and over the cliff with no problems. I was impressed. It was like for the first time, I was seeing Treasure Hunter Sunny Spurrs. She didn’t need me. She was excellent all on her own. Which in a way made me feel stupid for thinking my selfish thoughts before. I climbed over the cliff and Sunny reached out a hand to help me up. Just then, I could hear rocks crumbling below us. I looked down to see Chloe falling into the ravine and sliding down off a cliff. All I could hear was her screaming. The both of us (and I’m sure Nadine) gasped, calling out her name.

“Shit!” I exclaimed. But Nadine raised her hand to us a moment and listened closely. I guess she could hear something we couldn’t.

“She’s okay!” She yelled to us. “I’m gonna follow her! You two stay close! We’ll meet up!” She said before jumping into the ravine and down the mudslide, after Chloe. I could hear Sunny groan and swear loud as hell like she couldn’t stand to be with me or something. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. We didn’t have time for this.

“Alright, ENOUGH!” I barked, tossing my cigarette off the edge, forcing out the excess smoke from my lungs through my nostrils in an ire manner. I stood up and turned to look at her with a screwed up expression. Sunny looked at me like I had lost my mind. And maybe I had… I wasn’t so sure. “You’re gonna have to talk to me sometime...” I told her. Begged her, really. She shook her head, chuckling at me. She placed her hands on her hips and bit her lip, standing her ground.

“You really wanna do this now?” Sunny asked me, raising her voice as she approached me slowly. I nodded. I was amped up and tired of the third degree.

“When the hell else are we gonna be able to do it, Sunny?! Yeah! Yeah, I wanna do this now. Right now!” I said in an authoritative voice, puffing my chest out a little. A snarl curled at her lips as she boldly looked me in the eyes.

“Alright then, let’s fuckin’ get to it!!” She shrilled, angrily. Last time she yelled at me like this, I had left for Libertalia without her and we both thought Nathan had gotten hurt. She was just as scary as I remembered. Maybe I shouldn’t have picked this fight so soon. But it had to happen. We needed it out of the way so we could work without distractions. Most of all…. I just wanted my girl back. For real this time. Sunny looked up at me, her eyes never leaving mine, nostrils flaring like an angry bull and her lips pursed; possibly biting her tongue from starting off with the hard hitting questions right away. But this is Sunny we’re talking about. She couldn’t help it. It just wasn’t in her nature to be subtle or tactical in any way. She had to attack it head on.

“Chloe? Really, bro? No offense to Chloe at all, but how desperate are you?!” She exclaimed. I had to laugh. Never in my life had I been before called….

“Desperate?! No, sweetheart. I ain’t desperate—” I chuckled, raising my voice in irritation, both of us beginning to lose our temper.

“So then what the hell, Sam?!” She shouted, furrowing her brow at me. That wasn’t fair. She’d been holding onto this anger about me and Chloe for so long. Yet she hadn’t brought a word about herself to the table.

“What about you?! Huh?!” I shouted, opening my arms to her, welcoming any excuses she could give me. I might be a hardass but I do have my feelings, too. “You don’t get to yell at me about sleepin’ with other people, Sunny!”

“And why the fuck not?!” She yelled. Since we were putting it all out there, I didn’t think it’d hurt if I begged the question.

“How long you been sleepin’ with him?” I asked in a tone so calm, it even scared myself. I stared her in her eyes, waiting for an answer I thought already knew. Her expression never faltered though.

“Who?” She asked, playing dumb. But she knew exactly who I was talking about.

“Erik.” I said, firmly. After I brought it up, my heart began to speed. To be honest, I was a little scared to know. But I could see she really thought I was oblivious to it all.

“Sam—” she began.

“Do I look stupid to you?! Eh, do I?!” I interrupted. “D-Did ya think I didn’t notice? That I didn’t see it? All those little looks he gave you? And still gives you! The way he hugs and kisses all over you? ‘My little Sunflower’?!” I bombarded her with information and evidence that didn’t take me long to pick up during my week of being in San Francisco. She and everyone around her was an open book. The look on Erik’s face when he looked at her like she was the last source of water on earth. Like he was absolutely infatuated— no. In love with this woman. I knew it well. It was the face I made at her quite often.

“Sam, I told you he’s my best frie—” she started but I didn’t want excuses.

“Just answer the goddamn question!” I snapped. She was talking around in circles and I didn’t have time for it. We didn’t have time for it.

“Since long before I met you.” She growled, staring me deep into my eyes. I stared her down and she looked right back. I wasn’t intimidating her for anything. Why I thought I could for a moment, I didn’t know. Nobody scared Sunny Spurrs. Something about knowing officially that she slept with Erik… It hurt more than I thought. And suddenly, I began to understand how she must’ve been feeling. On the other hand though, I couldn’t help but wonder… I winced before bringing up my next question. This one I hoped wasn’t true.

“So you’ve been leading him on? Have you been leading me on?” I asked. I couldn’t be lead on. I didn’t have time for it. I was a grown man with grown man shit to do, treasures to discover. Putting energy into something that wasn’t going anywhere was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Sam, you fucked several girls in several countries. And you fucked Chloe! You don’t get to be pissed over the one guy I fucked, out of your seven! Did it really take so many girls to realize I was waitin’ on you?!” She exploded, throwing her arms about. Her brows knitted together and her lips curled into a snarl. I was shocked…. but she was right. As I looked into her now watering eyes, I lit myself another cigarette and shook my head. She continued on. “All summer…. I did nothin’ but think about you and your sorry ass!” Tears began spilling past her cheeks as she spoke. Here we go: I’d done it.

“Yes. I did fuck Erik. I fucked him as soon as we got back from Libertalia. One time! It was routine. He was safe, he was my friend. And I love him so much but… I’m not in love with him. After the one time we slept together, I called it off. I couldn’t do it anymore…. I just kept thinkin’ about you. So what’s your excuse asshole?!” Her lips trembled and she crossed her arms over her chest protectively, running her hands down her arms to calm her raging nerves.

I really didn’t know what to say… I began wrestling with my feelings, tapping the ashes off of my cigarette. If I kept her around, that was bye bye freedom. If I didn’t tell her how I felt, I’d lose her forever… Once I weighed these options, I knew then what I had to do. “You have no idea… how hard I tried to forget you.” was what came out. For some reason, when I argued with Sunny, things tended to come out far different than intended. In all actuality, she was the intimidating one. She made a face at my sudden comment. And I knew how it sounded already, so I took the time to get ahead of it.

“I tried... so very hard to get over you. I didn’t want that attachment— I didn’t need it. Not when I’d just gotten my life back! Not when there was still so much to do... Selfish thinking: I thought you’d only slow me down.” She looked hurt. But I had a point to all of this. I just had to get it together. “As cheesy as it sounds…… ugh…. my heart had other plans for me. I always thought the guys in the movies were overdoin’ the whole ‘missing you’ thing but…. Every time I turned around, you were there. In a beer, in a song, in some crappy silver diner menu… some stupid bracelet...” I began, chuckling nervously as I gestured to the jewelry on her arm. She didn’t laugh but a twitch came about the corner of her full lips. She looked down at her wrist and touched the bracelet a moment as if she’d forgotten it had been there all along. I didn’t know if anything I was saying was getting through to her, but I continued anyway, just bearing my feelings to her.

“Some girl tried talking to me once… All I could see in her eyes were yours. It annoyed me to shit, so I fucked her. Hoping that just maybe… I’d stop thinkin’ about you. And it worked… Not for long though. It wasn’t until I called someone else your name that I—”

“Wow, Sam. Is that supposed to make me feel better? That you called some other girl my name—” she said, starting to storm off but I grabbed her by the arm and ran in front of her to keep her from going anywhere.

“Sunny, let me finish!” I snapped. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive about it. In all honesty, it was the nerves. I couldn’t fuck this part up. I couldn’t afford to. I couldn’t afford to lose her on behalf of my stupidity. This was the important part and I needed to say it. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Her expression was as still as stone but she stayed quiet and let me continue as I struggled to make sense of things.

“Chloe was like a wake up call for me. And I realized…. when it didn’t feel right… that I only wanted you. I didn’t care how— I just wanted you. And then back there, I thought you were gone…. I’d never been so worried to lose someone…. Y’know, it’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone and I was scared.” I said.

“Scared of what?” She asked.

“To feel…” I answered rather quickly. I hated to do it but if there was ever a time that I needed to be vulnerable, it was now. “I was scared to care… I didn’t wanna face the inevitable that I would hurt you somehow… Or that I wouldn’t be able to care for you like you’d want… I might’ve gotten what you wanted a little confused. But I think I get it now...” Her expression softened a little and I approached her, linking my large pinky with her small first finger, gently swinging out hands between us. I chewed on my lip and looked off a moment before staring into her hypnotizing brown eyes. It was time that I owned up to my mistakes…

“I shouldn’t have expected you to wait for me… I guess I just thought that maybe when I was done with my foolishness that you’d still be there. Which was stupid of me— gorgeous as you are.” I babbled. I stared at her beautiful face and began to let the apologies pour. I’d lay it as thick as I need to. I just wanted my girl back. “I screwed up, Sun. I know that. And I know… I haven’t exactly been the best character in your life… But every second I spend with you means more to me than you even know and I can’t lose th—” Before I could even finish, Sunny placed her hands on either side of my face and brought me down to kiss her warm lips. I could feel a faint smile on her as she kissed me. I seemed to melt into her as my hands circled her waist, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. I rested my forehead against hers, parting our lips to give us a moment to breath.

“I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Whether I liked it or not. Although, you kinda didn’t give me a choice so...” I laughed and a small giggle sprung from her lips. One that sounded like music to my ears. It made me smile. A bout of seriousness came around as I spoke. “I need you, Sunny. And I was wrong. You don’t slow me down or hold me back. You’re in this with me. And you can hold your own. I won’t doubt you again, sweetheart.” I told her. I could see her eyes dart over every feature of my face as her thumbs stroked at my cheekbones.

“I forgive you…. and I’m sorry—”

“No, no, baby— don’t be sorry. I understand why… I really do.” I cooed, caressing her cheek and staring into her eyes. “Hey… let’s table this for later, eh? Catch up with the girls, go make some money? Maybe stop an arms deal or somethin’?” I asked, running my hands down her arms. She gave the airiest giggle. Boy, it was much better to be on her good side than bad. The whole silent treatment/ cold shoulder shit? Brutal.

“Sounds like a plan.” She said as I threw an arm around her. Suddenly, she shoved me and leaned back away.

“What?” I asked in confusion. She tuned up her face and covered her nose with her hand.

“Ross was right. You smell like ass.” She croaked our. I burst into laughter.

“Oh fuck off, loser!” I grinned, flipping her off. She just interlocked her fingers with mine and kissed my cheek.

“Let’s go do work.” She said with a smirk. And with that, we were off to finish the job.

Read More on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555698

[pigeons-scrawlings]

"Oh no! There's two of us, and only ONE BED!" Ship of your choice! 💕

Heck yea, hittin' me with a classic! (Btw, sorry this took forever, my dumb brain kept getting stuck XP)

Alright, let's give this a shot, I'm going with Speeding Bullet cuz it's my OTP :D

Oh, and something to note: I know most people tend to headcanon Snipers first name as Mick but I call him Richard/Rich.

And idk why but I like to think that Snipes and Scout know each other's real names so yeah, their names will be used a few times here.

Anywho, on to the fic!

_____

Scout's been dealing with a lot of feelings lately that he doesn't know what the hell to do with. It's been throwing him off his game pretty badly, and he's gotten very irritable.

He's been picking more fights with his teammates and he can't seem to keep a clear head during matches.

He'd talk to the one friend he's got on the team to vent and get some advice but...

His one friend happens to be the cause of these issues.

He doesn't know how or when exactly it started, things were fine and they could hang out and chat no problem, but then one day all of sudden he can hardly hazard a glance at Sniper without his thoughts wandering to... things.

Things like... How great his voice sounds. How wonderful his eyes are. How much he'd like to touch him, to-

'Jesus, there I go again...' Scout thought as he sighed deeply and put his face in his hand.

A hand on his shoulder snapped him back to reality. Oh yeah, he was talking with Snipes.

"You alright, mate?" Sniper looked at him with clear concern written on his face. Scout brushed his hand off "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Sniper crossed his arms and his expression became more stern "Scout, I know you, something's clearly off. Something's been off for a while now, everyone can see that."

"It's nothin', really"

"Jer, you know you can talk to me, what's-"

"I said I'm fine!" He said that probably a bit louder then he should have, he practically yelled. Scout sighed again and quickly left, leaving Sniper a bit shocked and very worried.

Scout locked himself away in his room and spent the next few hours thinking and sketching out his emotions.

"What the hell am supposed to do..." he muttered to himself as he half-heartedly continued on his drawing.

"The hell can I do? Jus' walk up an' be like 'hey you've been the subject of my fantasies lately'?" Jeremy sighed again and tossed his sketchbook and pencil onto his bed.

He laid back on the bed, put his hands over his face and groaned. 'Even if I did, what would even happen? I don't even know if he... if he even swings that way. With my luck, he'd probably just hate me, think there's something wrong with me.'

He jumped when he heard knocking at his door. "Scout" Fuck. It's Sniper. Fantastic. "Scout I know you're in there, an' that you don't want to talk but I need to speak with ya."

Scout didn't move, hoping Sniper would just go away.

"Jeremy, don't make me get heavy to break your door!" Goddamit. "Alright, fine! Jus' gimme a sec!" He hopped up from the bed and quickly went and opened the door.

Scout leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed, giving Sniper a half-hearted glare. "What?"

"We're going on vacation."

"What??"

"You need a break, everyone else needs a break from you, and I'm not comfortable with leavin' you alone right now, so you and me are gonna take a little trip." Sniper tried to give an encouraging smile.

"You gotta be kiddin' me. No." He stepped back and attempted to close the door only to be stopped by Sniper shoving his foot in.

"No choice, mate, like I said, everyone else needs a break from whatever the hell has been going on with you. Either take a trip with me or, well, I don't know what they'd do but I'm sure you wouldn't like it."

Jeremy mulled over the idea for a few moments before reluctantly opening the door.

"Alright. Alright fine, when we leavin'?"

~Time Skip~

The drive out was quiet. Sniper occasionally tried to make small-talk, to lighten the mood but of course, it wasn't doing much.

He wasn't pushing questions though, Scout could be thankful for that.

After another bout of silence, he decided to be the one to break it this time "So, ya gonna tell me where we're goin' yet?"

"You'll see in a bit, we're almost there."

And yet again, the Scout sighed. Sniper wasn't wrong though, in a just about ten or fifteen minutes the path they were following through the woods came to an end.

They were now in a wide clearing. Sniper parked the vehicle and they both hopped out.

'A campground?' There was a well-used fire pit surrounded by logs for seating and a few hiking trails here and there leading back into the woods.

Sniper grabbed a few bags and made his way over to the pit. Scout looked around to see if there was anything interesting to be found here.

He noticed some old, worn-looking railing on the furthest side of the clearing and went over to investigate. On the other side of the railing was apparently a cliff.

As Scout leaned over a rail to peer down it Sniper made his way over to him, grumbling a bit as he went.

Scout glanced at Sniper "Y'alright there, Snipes?" he asked as he continued examining the bottom of the cliff.

Sniper sighed "Well, looks like I somehow forgot somethings, namely the sleeping bags."

As Scout turned to look up at the tall man he was suddenly struck with the mental image of grabbing Sniper by his shirt collar to yank him down for a kiss.

Scout coughed and leaned back on the railing, trying to look calm and casual and praying to God he wasn't blushing

"Ok, so? We can just sleep in your van."

"I only got the one bed in there, mate."

"Oh. Right."

"Yeah. So unless ya feel like sharin', " Sniper began with a mildly amused tone, as he turned to walk back to the camper "I'll just take the floor."

Scout was glad Sniper had turned away because he was definitely blushing at the thought of sharing a bed with him "What? Wait a second!"

Scout quickly walked after Sniper, grabbed his shoulder, turned him back around and gave him an incredulous look "No way, man! I'm not makin' you sleep on the floor!"

"It's fine Jer"

"No, I'll take the floor."

"Wha- Jeremy no, you have the bed, it's fine. Besides, whatever's got you stressed'll just be made worse if ya don't sleep comfortabley."

"I don't care, just- ugh. Alright, ya'know what?" Scout immediately regretted what he was about to say but he didn't stop himself

"We're sharin' the bed!" and with that, he stomped off towards the pit, where Sniper had apparently already gotten a fire going

"Now get yer ass over here, your fire looks like it's dyin'!"

Sniper stood there a moment, a bit stunned, before moving to follow "... Ok, mate."

~Time Skip 2: Electric Boogaloo~

This place had a very relaxing atmosphere, it helped ease Scouts nerves a fair amount. As the sun finished setting the two men were sitting near the fire, eating s'mores and talking.

Sniper was recounting an interesting creature encounter he once had.

"Bullshit, that did not happen," Scout said through a mouthful of graham cracker and marshmallow.

"It's true mate! It was like a jackalope but big as a moose! I'd've shot the thing but I was worried a bullet wouldn't do more than piss it off."

"A big ass kangaroo with antlers, sure. I'll believe that if I ever see it." He finished off his s'more and yawned, feeling a bit drowsy now that the sun was down.

He looked up at the sky, appreciating the stars. Sniper let out his own yawn and spoke "Alright, think we might as well turn in for the night."

Scout hummed an agreement, stood up and stretched as Sniper put out the fire. As they walked to the van some of Scouts drowsy-ness was suddenly replaced with anxiety as he remembered what he'd said earlier.

'Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,' He's gotta share a bed with Sniper. Well, he's not backing out now, he's too stubborn for that. Yup. Stubbornness.

That's it. That's the only reason. The only reason he's gonna go through with it. Certainly not because this has been a fantasy of his. Certainly not because he would very much like to cuddle with the man. Because he doesn't. Really.

After they entered the van they both set about removing their shoes, brushing their teeth, y'know, standard bedtime routine stuff.

Scout was the first to finish and climbed into the bed.

"Y'know, I can still just take the floor, we don't have to-"

"Rich, just shut up and get the hell over here."

Sniper chuckled "Alright."

Scout scooted closer to the wall to make space as Sniper made his way over.

Once he was in the bed Sniper pulled the blankets over the both of them and turned to face away from Scout "G'night, Jer."

"Night"

Scout stared at the ceiling. He wasn't gonna be able to sleep like this, he was far too aware of the warm body lying next to him.

He wanted to curl up to the bushman, to rap an arm around him, to tangle their legs together.

But of course he can't really just go and do that without having to admit some things.

He turned to face the wall and closed his eyes, deciding to at least try to sleep but he was restless, after a few moments he turned to lay on his back again.

Then sighed.

Then turned back to the wall. And tossed and turned a few more times.

Then Sniper sighed and shifted. Turning to lay on his back, he looked at Scout "Jer, you alright, mate?"

"Yeah, m'fine."

"Y'sure? Your tossin' about quite a bit there."

"Yeah, well, not every day I gotta share a bed."

"I can still take the floor if ya want."

"Nah, I'll live."

"Jer, I don't want you gettin' a bad nights sleep 'cause of me."

"Definitely will if ya keep talkin'."

Sniper huffed in amusement "You grew up with seven brothers, didn't you? Can't imagine noise being all that much of an issue."

Scout grumbled quietly, unsure of what else he could say.

Sniper sighed again and shifted to fully face Scout 'Oh God what now' Scout thought.

"Listen. I know you don't want to talk about it, and I promise you if you still don't want to say anything after this then I won't ask again.

But you're my friend, Jeremy, I care about you, about your wellbeing, and I want to help. You know you can talk to me about anything, I won't judge you if that's what you're worried about. So, please. Will you talk to me?"

Scout was quiet for a few moments, trying to think of what the hell he could say. He sure as hell wanted to confess but he was scared of losing his best friend.

He decided to test the waters.

"... Alright..." Scout sat up and turned to lean back on the wall, looking at anything but Sniper, as he collected his thoughts.

Sniper sat up as well and patiently waited.

"Ok, so... I guess it's, uh... I, uh... Ugh... I think... I've, uh..." Scout swallowed nervously and took a deep breath.

"I think I'm... I-in... love?" he glanced at Sniper who gave a bit of confused look

"Not to make light of it, mate, but... Is that all? All of this fuss 'cause of some sheila?" Sniper chuckled and grinned.

"I-it's a... guy... actually..."

Snipers grin dropped and eyes widened slightly "Oh."

"Yeah..."

"Alright, I suppose I can see how you'd be a bit more inclined to secrecy then. Still wish you'd've told me sooner though. Like I always tell you, you can talk-"

"Talk to you about anything, I know, but... I dunno, I just... I dunno..."

"S'alright, Jer... If you don't mind me askin', it's not someone on the team is it?"

Scouts eyes widened and he stared in shock at Sniper "What?! No! Why the hell would I fall for any of those bozos!"

"Jer,"

"That's fucking ridiculous! How can even you suggest that?"

"Jeremy."

"There is no way in hell I would ever even consider one of them-"

"Jeremy!" Sniper clamped a hand down on Scouts shoulder "Would you calm down?"

Scout shut his mouth tightly and stared at Sniper "Listen, mate if telling me who it is is that much of an issue you don't have to!"

"I don't-" Scout was about to deny the idea again but was quickly silenced by Snipers stern expression

"You know you're a terrible liar, mate. You ramble and get defensive every time."

"I- but it's not- It- Fucking Goddamnit!" Scout covered his face and groaned "It's not- ugh!" He sighed lowering his hands but not daring to look at Sniper

"I-I do... want to tell you, I just... I don't..."

Scout felt his throat tighten, his could feel his eyes start to water. Sniper pulled him into a tight hug "It's okay, Jer."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you, I don't give a 'roo's ass who you love, it could never make me hate you!"

Scout gripped tightly to his only friend as if he'd lose him if he let go, he certainly felt like he would.

He pulled back a little ways, still not letting go, and looked Sniper in the eyes, those fantastic eyes. He doesn't know what prompted him to to do it but,

Next thing he knew his lips were on Snipers. He jumped back as soon as he realized what he was doing.

Sniper looked just as shocked if not more so. Scout covered his face again, fully expecting some kind of negative reaction.

Instead, Sniper pulled his hands away, held one of them and put one of his own to Scouts cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb and returned the kiss.

Scout couldn't believe it, he had to be dreaming! But it definitely felt real, and it felt amazing. It made his heart pound.

Sniper broke the kiss and looked Scout in the eyes "...Told ya I wouldn't hate you." He gave a soft smile and kissed Scout on the nose.

Scout smiled and couldn't help but laugh a little "Guess I was really worried over nothin', huh?" He didn't wait for an answer, instead opting to kiss Sniper again.

~The End~

[cobwebsaint]

may i ask... for you to tell us more about domestic nightmares 🥺 ramble as much as you want

ANON I WOULD HAPPILY KILL AND/OR DIE FOR YOU 

okay idk how far off the chain i am bound to go here cuz these are my stupid baby gremlin children and i also have links and stuff to provide and also y’know. ion feel like getting hate so all the idiocy goes under the cut.

ALRIGHT so it all began when I got this awful idea for the beloved spit fic (aka BIG MOUTH, read here) back when The Gang and I were on.... That Bullshit. I love putting depth into stories and characters and developing them as people and the universes they reside in and all that (read: i have the too much gene something fierce) and I wound up working on that fic for a hooooot minute so I wound up falling in love with that dynamic and building on all these stupid little quirks and starting to create a whole world out of one dumb little fic I got roped into writing.

It actually started as two separate things. For Big Mouth I was just like I need me a long hair Corey and that’s it. Then I was watching that one TERRIBLE fuckin’ 1996 Stone Sour bootleg and I was like OH SMALL???? And they wound up smushed together. Now I Am Here. 

SO DN is the terrible little infant baby children of 1996 brought into this, the year of our lord 2020. I’ve put out a little bit of Official Canon Lore in my quarantine notfic (aka oh my god, they were quarantined, read here) but that’s just scratching the surface. 

Corey and Paul have been friends fooooor fucking ever. They became attached at the hip in middle school and have been wreaking havoc ever since. Paul’s a bartender and certified Baby and he’s basically the angel to Corey’s demon. The yin to his yang. The “don’t feed after midnight” to his fucking terrible gremlin. Corey’s a genderfucked himbo workaholic. He works nights at the porn shop and also does Fridays and Saturdays dancing at the local gay club and he’s also got an onlyfans and shit. He’s terrible and my life has not known peace since he made himself known. 

Those two have lived together on and off since they were like 16ish cuz Corey got bounced around a lot but now they’ve got an apartment together behind the movie theater and it’s a disaster. 

Also Chris is the manager at PetSmart and got Corey a job there once upon a time. Corey kept it for a couple years and promptly quit at 18 to pursue thottery. Also Joey works at Hot Topic.

Now Jim works at the little family owned guitar shop in town (Craig owns the place) and he’s just a simple creecher y’know. He’s just tryna live his life and play guitar and work on his shitty little beater pickup and hang out with his friends and daydream about asses and bikes and getting ripshit with Sid when he gets home from work and Vibe. He’s got a townhouse on the shitty side of town with Sid and Mick which is a fucking chaos pit of its own. 

Mick probably does some trade job and he’s definitely the family cryptid here. Nobody’s entirely sure what he does when he doesn’t Make It Known but he’s quiet and contributes and he’s a bro. He’s also a vulture and is the reason there are bones and pelts and shit Everywhere and a whole fucking maceration area on their goddamn patio which the neighbors love to complain about but nobody ever does anything about it so whatever. Also neither Jim nor Sid would have any fucking idea what a succulent is, were it not for him. 

Sid’s...... Sid. He is the babiest baby clocking in at barely 20. He works at the fuckin’ grocery store stocking shelves and when he is not causing every possible problem within his capabilities he’s hotboxing his room and chillin with his transformers and making sick alien beats like the horrible little cave creecher he is. 

Shawn’s the sketchy, ambiguously old weirdo that everyone knows but probably shouldn’t. Corey knows him cuz he’s a bouncer at one of the clubs he works and the three stooges know him cuz of Mick. He lives in some fuckoff location in the middle of the woods off all the major roads and they all tend to hang out there. Jim works on cars and whatever “projects” he’s got going along with Mick (who keeps most of his vulture shit at Shawn’s) and Sid just sits there and vibes and steals all of Shawn’s beer in the process. Everybody else starts hanging around when Jim and Corey get together cuz they’re BOYFRIENDS.

But yeah, it’s basically just a bunch of little dumbasses living their lives and having fun and being one big terrible family together. I love them all dearly. 

I’ve got at least a billion current WIPs in this universe. Some are little one off PWP type things like big mouth, but I’m also putting my time into building up the proper timeline for yall which I’ll prob wind up firing off in bits and pieces as they come, y’know. Lil nugs to keep the dopamine moving. I really hope y’all fall in love with these dumbasses like I have. Lotsa content to come, I hope! :D

Also FTR I love talkin’ shit bout worldbuilding and stuff and I have SO MANY IDEAS TO SHARE so if you or anybody else ever wants to come pick my brain, DMs and asks always brighten up my day! I’m friendly, I promise sdfbgskjdf 

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk this made me very happy and god this is all just baseline stuff. I have lots of Feelings okay djfbvksd

[immortalghostkami]

Like the Sun and the Moon

Chapter 2: The Moon Raises

Chapter Index

With a swift swing of her blade, Makoto cut the net the boy was trapped in, allowing him to drop back down to the ground.

Bowing deeply towards him, she offered a smile while apologizing.

“I’m so sorry about that. My name’s Makoto Sasaki, what’s your name?” she asked, tilting her head while grabbing something from within her kimono.

“Heh,” he laughed, grabbing his swords.

“I’m the great Inosuke Hashibira, the god of the mountain!” he declared, boastfully pointing to himself.

Caught off guard with his statement, Makoto softly laughed, “Is that so?”

“HUH? Who do you think you’re laughing at!?” Inosuke snapped, pointing one of his blades at her.

“You think you’re better than THE great Inosuke?! How about we let our blades decide that?” he challenged, lowering his stance before dashing towards her.

“I can’t fight, I’m sorry!” Makoto swiftly said, causing the other to falter in his attack.

Pausing, he stared back at her in disbelief as she dodged him.

“Huh? What are you talkin’ about? You just killed those demons!” he shouted, pointing to the pail of clothes that lay on the floor.

“Well-yes but, I can’t fight someone head-on like you,” Makoto flushed, eyes darting to the side before continuing, “I… I’m not strong enough to do that.”

Staring at her gobsmacked, Inosuke didn’t know what to think.

“Are you blind or just stupid?” he blurted out, catching Makoto off guard.

“I-I’m sorry but… could you repeat that?” she asked, her mind failing to process his words.

“You said you’re not strong enough to fight me, but you just killed like, five demons by yourself. Are you blind or just stupid!” he shouted.

Despite his aggressive way of saying it, Makoto didn’t feel any hostility from him as he demanded that she battles him. Even so…

“I am blind… in my left eye…” Makoto finally answered, a hand coming up to touch the scar. 

Huffing steam out of the boar mask, Inosuke retorted, “No, I think the real reason is you’re just stupid.”

“Now fight me!” he roared, charging at her once more.

Refusing to listen to reason, Inosuke’s want to fight only grew as Makoto dodged his attacks.

Furrowing her brows in frustration, Makoto was growing desperate to end his rampaging. 

Jumping back while placing a hand on the hilt of her katana, she steadied her stance.

“All right! Now we’re getting somewhere!” Inosuke grinned.

“Don’t think I’ll hold back just ‘cause you’re a girl,” he warned, dashing forward again.

Taking a deep breath, Makoto ignored the aching of her lungs and the trembling in her fingers as she focused. 

Flying towards her, Inosuke’s blades were just mere inches from hitting her when she dodged, swiveling her body between the slashes and appearing behind him.

He broke out in a cold sweat when he suddenly heard her mumble, “Third Form Modified: Moonlit Waltz, Knockout.”

Opening his eyes, Inosuke’s body was sore, especially his head. It was still dark out, and everything smelled faintly of flowers and smoke. He didn’t remember falling asleep. What was he doing on the ground?

“Gha! That’s right!” He screamed, jumping up.

Turning to face him, Makoto stared wide-eyed, startled. The two were silent as they took in what the other was doing. Makoto had just finished burying the pile of clothes when Inosuke woke up and was covered in dirt. 

“You’re awake…” she finally spoke, voice almost a whisper.

“How… how are you feeling?” she asked, concerned. After all, she had hit him pretty hard, and the incense she was burning should have kept him asleep, at least a little bit longer.

“I wrapped up your leg after you passed out, I hope you don’t mind,” she said, dusting off the dirt from her pants.

“Why the hell do you care, FIGHT ME!” Inosuke demanded before a sharp pain in the back on his neck caused him to freeze.

“Oh no! I hit you too hard,” Makoto cried, running up to him.

Lightly, her fingers grazed his shoulder, causing Inosuke to snap back to his senses. Slapping her hand away, he took a step back, confused about the warm feeling spreading from where she had touched.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” she asked, retracting her hand.

This is weird. Inosuke found everything about Makoto to be extremely weird. From actively refusing to fight him and tending to his wounds, he didn’t understand her. Not to mention how he barely felt her approach him. Her presence wasn’t like a demon’s or a wild animal’s. Hell, it wasn’t even like the other swordsmen on the mountain. He couldn’t tell where she was aiming when she knocked him out at all. It was almost as if she had no malicious or dangerous intentions. 

“Um… I-Inosuke?” Makoto softly called when he didn’t respond.

Dodging her outstretched hand, he jumped back and away from her. Startled, Makoto took a second to process what just happened, confused about what had spooked him so thoroughly. Eyebrows furrowing in concern, Makoto opened her mouth only to be cut off.

“You’re weird!” he proclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at her.

“You do weird things!” he shouted before running off.

Makoto was left alone, face blank.

She was weird? 

“What… just happened?” she murmured, coming back to her senses. 

Picking up the crane patterned haori she had used as a pillow for Inosuke, Makoto tried not to think too hard about it. 

The rest of the selection seemed to go by smoothly. By the time the seventh day arrived, Makoto was more than ready to leave. She was exhausted, her limbs felt numb, and her lungs were on fire. And despite all her training, she still wasn’t able to maintain Total Concentration: Constant. 

Meeting back up with the remaining swordsmen, Makoto could only hope she was early as only four people were there waiting. 

The first person she noticed was Shinobu’s little sister. She couldn’t help but wonder what Kanao was doing here but paid no mind as her eyes found their way to a figure by the trees. It took her a second to recognize them from afar, but once she spotted a familiar black fox mask, she realized it was her friend Kyo. Turning back to the three in front of her, Makoto found a terrified blonde boy in a yellow haori and… 

Makoto paused, staring at the aggressive-looking boy with a mohawk. Was he-?

But her thoughts were cut off when she felt footsteps coming up the mountain. Turning around, she watched as a speck of blue turned into a boy in a cloud printed haori. The morning sun tinting him in beautiful shades of red. He looked pretty beaten up too.

“Welcome back, I’m glad you are all safe.” 

Spinning her head around, Makoto turned to face the Ubuyashiki siblings. As the two congratulated everyone and explained how the Demon Slayer Corps worked, a wave of sorrow washed over Makoto’s tired form. There were only five of them there, and she was no doubt the oldest. It may have just been by a year or two, but the fact that the group had dwindled so much made her heart ache. 

Looking around, Makoto realized that she hadn’t seen Inosuke. Surely he would have made it? But he wasn’t there. Makoto could only hope that he, along with most of the other participants, had quit instead of dying. 

“Now, for your Kasugai Crows,” Kanata said, and as if on cue, a murder of crows flew down.

Holding out an arm for the crow, he landed gracefully, tilting his head at her.

“I look forward to working with you,” she greeted, scratching the top of his head.

“I don’t give a damn about crows, where’s my Nichirin Sword!” the mohawk boy shouted, swatting his crow away.

“The Demon Slayers color-changing katana, I want mine now!” he demanded, growling as he roughly grabbed Kanata’s white hair.

Makoto’s eyes narrowed as she watched the cloud haori boy intervene. He grabbed the other's arm and threatened to break it if he didn’t let Kanata go.

Tightening his grip, the mohawk boy realized that the other was being serious when the sound of a shakuhachi suddenly reached their ears. Looking over their shoulders, the anger of the two slowly dissipated and was replaced by confusion. 

Walking up to the two boys, Makoto opened her eyes, bringing the flute down and smiling her usual, easy-going smile.

“Now, now, no need to fight. We’re all comrades now after all,” she said, bringing a hand up and patting their heads before they could protest.

“We’re like one big family now, so we should look after each other.”

Makoto’s airy laugh caused the two boys to blush, their anger quickly being replaced with embarrassment.

Now that she was up close, Makoto had a better look at their faces. 

The cloud haori boy nodded at her, brightly smiling in agreement. What she had once thought was just the morning light was actually the color of his hair and eyes. Both being a beautiful shade of burgundy.

Knocking her hand away, the mohawked boy grumbled under his breath. Everything from his general vibe to the scar that sat on the right side of his face, Makoto had a strong feeling she knew who he might be.

Eyes softening, she turned to him.

“We just need to be a little more patient. We’re about to get our ore right now, right?” she asked, turning to look at Kiriya.

“Yes, if you are all done talking,” he started, turning to the table next to him.

“You choose your own ore that will be used to create your katana. The same katana that will be used to kill demons, and protect yourself.”

As the others walked up to the table, Makoto stopped in front of Kanata, crouching down to meet her eyes. Fixing her hair, Makoto was gentle as she patted the white-haired girl’s head.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Yes, I am just fine,” Kanata simply answered, but Makoto could see the corners of her lips twitch up just the slightest bit.

Standing up, Makoto turned to the table. Most of the other members had already picked out their ore, leaving just Makoto left.

“Just double-checking, was my request approved?” Makoto asked, eyes darting to Kiriya as her fingers lingering over the rest of the ore.

“Yes,” he simply responded.

“That’s a relief,” she sighed, releasing the breath she was holding.

The boys of the group watched on in confusion, unsure of what the two were talking about as they all silently watched.

Picking up one of the ores, Mokoto turned to Kiriya smiling, “Then, I’ll take this one please.”

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

[xfangheartx]

Red Strings- Chapter 5

(Tagging @inuyashaeienni @cstormsinukagblog @keichanz @sangoslays )

Ch. 5- Regrets and Doubts

Taro growled, matching the aggression that his master was giving off as he glared at Koga, who only returned his glare with one of his own. If looks alone could kill, anyone caught between these two would certainly be six feet under in an instant. Any passersby quickly fled the scene, not wanting to get involved in any way. "Your girl?" Inuyasha repeated. "Are you talking about Kagome?" "Who else do you think I'm talkin' about?" Koga asked. "Your mother?" He then approached Inuyasha until he was just a mere foot away. "Just who the fuck do you think you are? You think I'm gonna let you get away with this, mutt?!" "I highly doubt that Kagome would go out with some mangy wolf like you," said Inuyasha. "Besides, you're a fucking trainwreck with that shit. You couldn't get Ayame to take you back after she caught you sniffing after some other girl's ass!" "Hey, you leave Ayame out of this, all right?!" Koga questioned. "Well, what about you? You didn't really have a good track record yourself when it comes to women...especially after what happened with Kikyo." Inuyasha's eyes went wide and his shoulders tensed while Koga smirked, knowing he had just struck a nerve. "We both know what happened," said Koga. "You didn't save her...did you?" "...Fuck off, Koga," Inuyasha hissed while Taro growled even more. "And now, you're probably gonna fuck things up with Kagome, too," Koga said. "Don't think I don't see it...she looks just like your old girlfriend. That's probably the only reason you decided to hang out with her." "I said 'fuck off'!" Inuyasha barked. "That has nothing to do with it! Now get your ass away from me!" "What are you gonna do if I don't?" Koga asked as he poked Inuyasha in the chest. "You gonna run home to your mommy?" "Don't you touch me," Inuyasha snarled as he pushed the wolf demon's hand away from him, only for Koga to put both hands on his chest and shove him, roughly. "I said DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!" With that, he lunged with claws and fangs bared. XXX

Kagome was just about to cross the street to get back to the cafe when she heard a loud crash behind her, causing her to jolt for a moment before she glanced behind her, only to see the red string fluttering about violently...and not long after, she saw Inuyasha get thrown across the ground. "Oh, my god!!" she cried in horror as she ran back to the ramen place. XXX Taro barked as he watched Inuyasha and Koga roll along the asphalt, throwing punches and violently clawing and biting at each other like a pair of feral dogs. There was the sound of tearing fabric as Koga dug his claws into Inuyasha's left side, not deep enough to puncture the flesh, but it did rip his shirt. Inuyasha only responded by biting the wolf demon's wrist, causing him to let out a yelp before he kicked the half-demon off, then lunged at him as he bit into his right shoulder, causing him to scream in pain. "GET OFF!!!" Inuyasha yelled as he punched Koga in the jaw, then lunged for him while digging his claws into his left arm. The wolf demon grunted before he bit Inuyasha again, this time biting at his left ear and pulling on it, causing the half-demon to yelp before he kneed Koga in the gut, which forced him to let go, but then Koga socked him right in the left eye, leaving a large bruise. He wasn't done there, though, for he soon threw his forehead at Inuyasha and bashed his skull against his nose, causing him to stumble back as he held it, and when he pulled his palm away, it was dripping with blood. "Hahaha!" Koga laughed. "You're nothing but bark, mutt...but what do I expect from a half-demon loser?!" Inuyasha growled...the whites of his eyes beginning to turn red and his pupils turning blue. Just as he was about to lunge for the wolf demon, though, a hand suddenly reached out and grabbed his hood, stopping him right in his tracks. "Whoa!!" Inuyasha grunted as he turned around...only for his eyes to return to their normal color. A young man stood behind, his short, black hair tied in a small ponytail. He had on a dark purple jacket with a white shirt underneath, as well as a pair of black pants and black and white sneakers. "M...Miroku?" Inuyasha asked. "Hey, you stay outta this!" Koga yelled. "This is between me and the mutt!" "Gentlemen, please!" Miroku said as he got in between the two demons. "I understand that sometimes, the best way to resolve a conflict between men is through their fists, but we live in more modern times, now. There's no need to act with such barbarity...especially when a woman is present." "What the fuck are you talking about-" Inuyasha started, only for Miroku to point behind him, which prompted him to turn around and see Kagome, whose eyes were wide while she had her hands over her mouth, which caused the half-demon to gasp. "K...Kagome! I thought you went back to your job!" "Uh-oh..." Koga muttered with dread. Just how long had she been there? "It's getting quite late," Miroku said. "I think we should all just go home before the police get involved." He looked to Inuyasha. "Especially your father...right, Inuyasha?" "...Right," Inuyasha nodded. "And what do you say, Koga?" asked Miroku. "...Fuck this shit," the wolf demon cursed as he turned and walked away. "I'm outta here." He then gave a short glance to Kagome. "...I'm...I'm sorry you had to see that side of me, Kagome." He then kept walking while rubbing his sore jaw. "And as for you, ma'am," Miroku began as he approached Kagome, "are you all right?" "Y...yes," Kagome replied with a shaky voice...which caused Inuyasha's ears to droop while Taro whimpered and nudged his master's hand, which prompted the half-demon to gently pet his head. 'She probably saw me about to transform,' thought Inuyasha. 'It's all my fault...I scared her.' "I think it's best if we all went home," Miroku said. "Oh, I can't!" Kagome cried. "I-I have to get back to my job at the cafe!" "Kagome, was it?" Miroku asked. "Ma'am, after the shock you've had, I think it'd be ill-advised for you to go back to work." "...I...I guess," Kagome said as she hung her head. "My car's nearby," said Miroku. "I'll drop you off at your place, first, then I'll take Inuyasha and Taro home." "Mm-hmm," Kagome nodded. After Miroku brought her to the cafe so she could ask her boss to allow her the rest of the day off, Miroku dropped Kagome off at her apartment complex, where she promptly bid him and Inuyasha goodbye. After that, he proceeded to head to Taisho Manor next. He knocked on the door while Inuyasha held onto him, and the door slid open to reveal Shippo, who gasped in shock upon seeing his adopted older brother's injured state. "Hello, Shippo," Miroku said. "Are your parents home?" "...Mom!" Shippo called. "Inuyasha got in another fight!!" "Don't yell!" Inuyasha yelled. "What happened?!" Izayoi questioned as she entered the living room. "Not to worry, Mrs. Taisho!" Miroku reassured as he brought Inuyasha inside and toward the stairs with Taro following after them. "I'll be helping Inuyasha tend to his injuries. It was a lucky thing I happened to be nearby." "D-do you need any help?" asked Izayoi. "No, Mom!" Inuyasha answered. "We got this, okay?" Soon, the two of them were in Inuyasha's room. The half-demon had his head held back while he held an ice pack to his eye as Miroku checked for anything serious, like any deep gashes or lacerations. Any smalls cuts from Koga had already healed due to Inuyasha's demon blood. The only serious wound he had was the bite to his shoulder, which Miroku was stitching up with sutures. "You really need to learn to control yourself," said Miroku. "Seriously, what would you do if I hadn't stopped you?" "I'd kill that motherfucker," Inuyasha quipped. "I'm serious, Inuyasha," Miroku chided. "You were about to transform right in front of that girl." Inuyasha sighed as he looked away in shame. "...That wolf sure knows how to hit you where it hurts," he said. "...He brought up Kikyo, didn't he?" Miroku asked. "...Don't people think that I feel bad enough?" Inuyasha asked as he pulled the ice pack away from his eye. "God, I am tired of this! I've had enough regrets!" "I understand," Miroku said as he pat Inuyasha's other shoulder. "What happened to Kikyo was terrible...but...Inuyasha, it has been three years, you know." "I know that," Inuyasha acknowledged as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I just...I just wish it didn't happen." "I know," Miroku nodded, his purple eyes not showing pity of any kind. "And now he has the nerve to say that I'm gonna fuck things up with Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted. "That's ridiculous! We just met! I don't even know how I feel about her, yet!" "Speaking of Kagome," Miroku began while wrapping bandages around Inuyasha's shoulder, "is she the girl you stayed the night with, last night?" "...Yes," Inuyasha replied. "That's how I know her. She found me at the bar, took me to her apartment...we didn't do anything, so don't go thinking we did!" Miroku raised his hands in defense (and yet did nothing to hide the smirk on his face). "Anyway," Inuyasha said. "I saw her again, today...we went out for lunch and we talked for a while...and then, after we got out, I smelled Koga and...well...here we are, now." "I see," Miroku said. "If I didn't know better, Inuyasha, I'd say Kagome-" "Looks like Kikyo?" asked Inuyasha. "Yeah, I know. You don't have to remind me and neither does anyone else...that's why I was trying so damn hard to avoid her in the first place." "Because she looks like Kikyo?" Miroku asked. "That's all?" "...I know it's not her fault," Inuyasha said. "But...I just can't help it. Every time I look at her face...all I see is Kikyo...and all that does is remind me that I let her down." "What happened to Kikyo was indeed a tragedy," Miroku began, "but Inuyasha...you can't let it rule your life...and you especially shouldn't let it keep you from finding happiness, again." "...But what can I do?" Inuyasha asked. "I loved her so much..." "I know," Miroku replied, "and she loved you...but she would have wanted you to move on." He then got up from the bed and stretched his arms. "Now, if you'll excuse me...I have to go home and get ready for my date with my sweet Sango." He turned to look at Inuyasha, once more. "You hang in there, okay?" "Yeah," Inuyasha said. "Thanks for your help, Miroku." "It's what I'm here for, my friend," Miroku replied as he walked out, while Inuyasha sighed as he carefully lied down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He then reached into his pocket before he looked at his phone. "...I wonder..." XXX

Kagome sighed as she lied on the couch, flicking on the TV. She didn't really want to watch anything. She just needed to get what happened today off her mind. 'It was such a nice little lunch,' she thought. 'That really went downhill fast.' Suddenly, she heard her phone ringing, causing her to reach over to the coffee table and look at it, only to see Inuyasha's name on the screen. "Hmm?" she hummed before she swiped her finger on the screen, then held it to her ear. "Inuyasha?" "Hey, Kagome. I just thought I'd call and check on you." "Oh, that's so nice of you," Kagome said with a soft smile. "I'm okay, Inuyasha. Thank you. How are you doing?" "Well, my shoulder still hurts, but I'll probably be all better tomorrow. Gotta thank my Dad for something: my body heals faster than most people." Kagome chuckled at that. "So...I was wondering...maybe we can...hang out again? Tomorrow or something?" Kagome's eyes went wide...but then she smiled. "I'd like that...I'd like that, very much." "...I would, too...maybe tomorrow at the park at 1:15?" "Sure. It's a date." "Perfect...see you then." "Yeah, see you soon." Kagome then hung up before she sighed pleasantly. "...That worked out better than I thought," she said.

[bright-witch]

Things have been incredibly hectic in a good way recently. it’s nice to feel ‘recovered’ physically, it’s something I can’t ever take for granted. I am so sorry I’ve been behind on responding, especially to @artofpresence @altaieu @cutiesncantrips and @wrenling ( if I didn’t tag you and we’re buds on talkin terms, it is because I wasn’t quite sure if you would be okay with it 💐!!), I would love to read about how y’all are doing, I love it when you send me stories about your life (or just random amazing things you wrote??) and I appreciate every thing you send me ;-;

TW TWvTW TIME BODY IMAGE AND E.D. STUFF

YEAH!!

…..uhhg.

It is awesome to feel well again. Being able to lift things (kind of???), not being perpetually sleepy from deprivation each night, functioning without pain, being able to eat things... NICE. I know I’m lucky to be one of the few people to recover physically without many awful chronic side effects the lack of eating tends to cause. I had all the support I needed and I was never forced to work while simultaneously trying to recover. I had medical care. My heart is ridiculously strong, my doctors are always shocked. They said it was similar to that of an olympic swimmer. Alright alright alright~~~

Again, it is fantastic to feel good again, ohmygoodness. But it doesn’t stop me from disliking how my body looks now that it has noticeably changed. It’s hard to see the weight gain as positive, my logic and instinct fight on it a lot. I’ve never liked my legs. They have always seemed much too big to me, and its a big reason why the anorexia went too far. I never lost enough weight in my legs to satisfy myself (my body refused to shed that leg fat. The torso weight and arm fat sluffed off over the years disturbingly easily comparatively). And I knew it would be the first thing to upset me again when I re-gained the necessary weight to become healthy. I want to be toned. I have started working out again, but I need to be very careful about it. I despise my legs, arms, and stomach not being toned. I have lost so much muscle mass to the disorder, I feel absolutely disgusting and weak in spite of recovering for the most part. I am so hypercritical of my own looks I honestly have no idea how good or bad I truly look on any given day, similar to my artwork. 

That’s why compliments mean so much to me?? It’s like a positive review my brain logs away, and it cancels out the negative thoughts/ the evil eating disorder voice that pops up perpetually. Eating disorders tend to be forever, and I can’t always shut it up on my own (I usually can’t... ahahah hshskjfgsjhjfdfdgs/stabs self/) 

I decided not to wear face makeup except very thin eyeliner and a bit of lip balm. Everyone was so nice to me when I went shopping today, it really helped me feel like recovering was the right thing to do. They literally gushed over me?? It was embarrassing but in a very good way. “Oh my god, that bod is DANGEROUS.” “GOALS, GODDAMMIT. JUST GET OUT. PUT THAT AWAY.” “you’re hourglass figure is too good, you gotta like.. tone it down... jeez...” “You look like you’re glowing! You look so beautiful!” “You are too adorable! I want to adopt you!” “you look like a princess. You’re the Oregon Princess. I love it.” 

I love those women ;-; ALL THE WOMEN. I was overwhelmed with the kindness. And my mom, because she was definitely a part of their cheerleading squad. She loves taking me shopping at nice stores, especially Nordstrom, oh jeez, and we are friends with the manager of the designer section/personal shopper area. all the ladies on the floor showed up when I tried on fun clothes. bless u mom and nice ladies. And honestly all of you who always leave me such nice compliments/help me feel better about myself. It REALLY means more than I can type. You’re all amazing and I feel really supported. Thank you so much!! I’m sorry if this was awful to read! I went on a walk under the stars tonight and it was so beautiful, I wish I could share what I saw with you, but photography would not do them justice. The way certain stars radiate rainbow light is truly ethereal.

[yelloskello]

been talkin to my SO about how secrets in collaborative storytelling can sometimes be kinda overrated, and sharing stuff with the people you’re collaborating with can be super fruitful in terms of coming up with new ideas or addressing issues in a fun and conflict/drama/humor-inducing manner

like, when I did my campaign with my friends where I was playing a skeleton, both the other players knew he was a skeleton well before the campaign ever started - and it led to fun scenarios where the DM would set up awkward situations for my character to hide his skeletal nature, I got to intimidate an enemy by just lifting up my mask while standing behind my two party members striking menacing poses, I got to have fun lil scenes where my character would go up to his quiet, isolated room in the attic and just walk around bones hangin out cause it’s the only time where he doesn’t have to try and meticulously hide himself, or include little bits about how he collects bits and baubles because they make him feel more human - like a bottle of perfume which he can’t smell, but he likes to take ‘whiffs’ of and imagine the smell - which wouldn’t make sense if I tried to include it while not revealing his Big Secret to the other folks at the table, etc. And I still got to enjoy the other peoples’ characters being oblivious, because, y’know, they’re good roleplayers who don’t metagame. and when his skeletal nature WAS revealed to the other characters, it was still fun - the characters were still surprised, the reveal was fun and comedic, they got to have a heart to heart chat about it. It was a good scene. I can definitely see the grand appeal of keeping secrets, tho, and still end up trying to do it myself. I can just kinda end up forgetting that it might fall flat or not be worth the payoff, because the idea of surprising the people i’m working with is so enticing (even though, funnily enough, a lot of the times the great reveal doesn’t feel half as satisfying as I thought it would). Like, my boy murray is cursed to follow orders fuckin ella enchanted style, and I wanted only the DM to know that so that they could abuse that knowledge as they saw fit, while nobody else quite knew what was going on. But ultimately? I just tended to forget about that curse, and I think the DM did too, and it didn’t get utilized as much as I had initially hoped. (Not anybody’s fault, mind you, just was such a small detail in a bigger campaign, easy to get lost in the weeds.) I ended up just telling everybody ‘uh yeah dude was cursed to follow orders and is terrified of death/on the run from the god of death because he was one of her servants and if he ends up back there he’s fuckaroonied’ after the campaign was put on hiatus. it was a fun idea to keep the secret, but honestly, sorta wish i’d just coordinated with folks earlier-on.

(honestly, though, I don’t even know how well I kept that secret - I think there was only one person at the table who didn’t know.)

Like, I love people having ideas about a thing and sharing them because it ends up being so fruitful for producing even MORE ideas, or really reinforcing a solid narrative, especially when you’re working with someone else who you know will keep the narrative well-written and emotionally packed and can do really good things with your ideas. I had realized it at some point while just shooting the shit about ideas with my best friend/roommate/rp partner, can’t even remember specifically when, mostly I just remember it kinda surprising me because people can play up the charm of secret keeping and big reveals so hard that it can feel like something you’re Supposed to do. Maybe it’s because when you’re in a solitary writing situation, twists and secrets can be way more satisfying because it’s not a co-creator relationship, it’s an author-and-audience relationship, and we end up picking up ideas from what works in the context of being a solitary author and apply it to collaborative storytelling. Idk.

And I think that it can be done just fine, too, depending on the context, so i’m not totally poo-pooing on the idea here, it’s just. An interesting thought to chew on. Not something that I expected to enjoy so much, telling people my Seekrit Ideas, but some really cool stuff can be born from it.

[hannahindie]

Winchestered

Characters: Dean Winchester, Neal (OC), Alice (OC), Reader, Sam Winchester (brief) Word Count: 3,896 Warnings: Language, insinuated sexy times, patented Dean Winchester snark, smoking A/N: My dear, precious, beautiful @pinknerdpanda requested a Christmas fic using the song “Fairytale of New York” by Dustin Kensrue. You can listen to it HERE. I know it’s after Christmas and that it took me forever, but I hope you all enjoy it. I hope that the title makes sense once you start reading...if not...well...I mean, I don’t know. hahah

Beta’d by @pinknerdpanda (because I can’t not show her things early, even when they’re for her) : “Lystjblhisjfh we yxmvpyskgxiskh itoskhc”

and @masksandtruths, because I had her workin’ overtime yesterday. -wink- Thanks, babe. “THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! someone said it! For such an intelligent human, Dean has a lot of trouble with this simple fact.”

As usual, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. :)

Motherfucker.

I groaned, my head aching as I turned on the hard surface I was laying on and squinted at the old man across from me who was singing obnoxiously loud.

Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh

He gave me a nearly toothless grin and I groaned again as I squeezed my eyes shut.

“What the hell are you singing, and why?”

“It's Christmas time, m’boy. Will pro’ly be m’last one, and it's m’ favorite tune. Thought I'd serenade ya good and proper.”

“That...that isn’t a Christmas song.” I rolled back over and tried to ignore him, my head pounding. I don't know what the fuck I did or where I was last night, but being in the drunk tank of some podunk town was not exactly where I wanted to be - especially on Christmas. Sammy was gonna kill me.

“Oh, but fer ya, ‘tis. Ya don’t recognize where ya are, do ya?”

“I’m in some town in BFE, when I should be...well, anywhere else. I'm guessing I tied one on a little harder than I planned. And now here I am, trying to ignore some old man trying and failing to sing an Irish ballad and wondering where my brother is so he can get me the fuck outta here. Does that sound about right?”

“Well, son, ya ain't wrong. But that ain't what I was talkin’ about.” He slid over closer to me and I rolled back over to look at him.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Why don't ya sit up and take a good look, see where ya are, and then mebbe I’ll tell ya.”

I groaned and sat up, if for no other reason than to shut him up, and I leaned my head in my hands. Jesus, what did I do? “Okay, I'm up. What am I looking at?”

“Just look.”

I sighed and looked up, the light searing into my hungover eye sockets like lasers. The room was oddly familiar, and I ground the heel of my hand into my eyes. “This...where am I?”

The old man chuckled and I glared at him. He cleared his throat as he stood and walked over to the wall of steel bars that had us trapped. “Ain't so much as where, lad, but when.” He motioned for me to join him and I stood up with a groan, then stumbled to the bars and looked out. Suddenly, it hit me where I was.

“How...this...but I wasn't even here, Sam and I are somewhere in Mississippi,” I mumbled more to myself than the crazy old man who was grinning at me like he'd won the lottery. Judging by my surroundings, I wasn't in Mississippi...I was in New York, although the drunk tank still made sense. But if that was the case… “This happened...hell...twenty years ago. Unless you're an angel, I know I didn't time travel. What the hell is this?”

“Did ya have a favorite Christmas movie, m’boy?”

I glared, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, did ya?” He cocked an eyebrow at me and I had the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face.

“Well, I know this isn’t Die Hard...aw, shit, you’ve got to be kidding me. Scrooged? Seriously? Nah, this is...I got hit really hard in the head, didn’t I? That’s what this is, because it can’t be because I’m some selfish bastard that never does anything for anybody.” I turned to look at the old man, “Because that’s bullshit. I might hate myself, but even I can recognize that I have given up everything for this godforsaken hell hole of a planet.”

“It ain’t always about bein’ selfish, laddie. Sometimes it’s just about showin’ ya what you already know.”

I rolled my eyes, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He nodded his head towards the bars and I looked out to see the last person I expected to be there. “Y/N?”

She stopped short of the bars and crossed her arms, “You know, it doesn’t look great for an FBI agent to be tossed into the drunk tank, much less on Christmas Eve. What were you thinking, Winchester?”

“Y/N, I-” I stopped short when I heard someone respond...when I heard myself respond, rather snarkily.

“Aww, c’mon, sweetheart. I was just celebrating, alone I might add, because someone didn’t want to come with me. We finished the job in record time, we did it well, and we don’t have anything lined up for the next few days.” I turned around to see myself stand up from the bed, then walk over and lean haphazardly against the bars. “Bust me outta here and let’s go have some fun, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t act like that, that’s not remotely accurate.”

“‘Tis a memory, lad. Sorry to say it, but m’thinks tha’ twenty years ago, you pro’lly did act like that. Just keep watchin’.”

Y/N motioned to the guard, who came over and unlocked the cell door. Younger me strolled out, gave the guard a wink, then followed Y/N down the hall and out of the jail. I followed close behind, the old man trailing after me. “You’re lucky I was with you. You realize John would have just left you in there.”

“Yea, yea, I know. But you’re not my old man, and for once it’s just us. No Dad, no Sammy...just us.” He stopped Y/N as I looked on, my heart aching at how beautiful she was in the bright light of the moon. “We’re in New York, why don’t we make the best of it, huh?”

“And do what, Dean? It’s freezing cold, you hate museums and musicals-”

“Hey, I don’t hate ‘em! I’m just very particular about them.” He grabbed Y/N’s hands and rubbed them between his, “What about I take you to Broadway, we’ll go to one of those musicals you’re always going on about? Maybe we can go to Rockefeller Center, go ice skating.”

She laughed and I smiled; God, I missed that laugh. I missed the sound of it, and how her nose crinkled and her eyes squeezed shut. I missed the way she’d laugh so hard she would snort, which would throw her into another round of laughter that caused tears and hiccups as she tried to calm down. I missed her.

“Okay, fine. But you’re paying since I had to bail you out.” He laughed and held his arm out to her.

“Fair enough.” They walked away together in the darkness and I sighed.

“What’s the point in this, old man? Just to remind me of what? That I lost my best friend? That everything that happened from here on out was a catastrophic failure? Because I knew that already. I’ve known it for awhile.”

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head, “Let’s go. We’ve got a coupla more stops to make, don’t wanna lose track o’ time.” He reached out to me and I took a step back.

“I don’t think so. I’m done with this. I’ll wake up, and I’ll be in the floor of some abandoned house, and I’ll have to hear from Sammy how I got my ass handed to me. I’m over it, man.” I turned to walk away and suddenly a hand gripped my upper arm tightly.

“We ain’t done until I say it’s done, m’boy,” the old man practically growled,”Ya need to understand it’s not always about ya, or what ya want. Now, c’mon.” That’s about the time everything went black.

When I woke up, I was sitting on a bench directly on Broadway, and although I got a couple of weird looks, people walked around my legs like nothing was wrong. I guess I wasn’t the first person to jut my legs out into the middle of the sidewalk. “What the hell…”

“Ya say that an awful lot, don’t ya?” I looked up to see the man from before and groaned.

“Well, that tends to be the reaction of someone who keeps getting zapped through time.” I sat up and stretched, “What’s your name anyway?”

“My rightful title is the Ghost of Christmas Past, but ya can call me Neal.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Neal? Really?”

He shrugged, “Ya can call me by m’full name, but that is a bit much, ain’t it? Neal is fine.”

I stood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, “Okay Neal, why are we here?”

He gestured toward the building in front of me and I looked up to see a sign advertising Annie Get Your Gun. The doors flew open and a crowd of people poured out, young me and Y/N trailing after the group, laughing and smiling. Y/N jabbed young me in the ribs with her elbow.

“Admit it, you loved it.”

He shrugged, “It was okay. Annie Oakley is pretty cool, so I admit...for a musical...it was pretty good. But don’t expect me to admit that to anyone else, I’ll deny it.” He grabbed Y/n by the waist and she smiled.

“What do you think you’re doing, Dean Winchester?”

He grinned and winked, “Something I should have done a long time ago.” He bent down and kissed her, and I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. I watched as the crowd swarmed around them, how oblivious they were to the swirling bodies that bumped against them as they exited the theater. He pulled back and she looked up at him, her eyes wide. I remember when she used to look at me like that; it was like I was the only person that existed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her voice low.

He smiled as he brushed hair from her face, and it took everything I had not to reach out and try to do the same myself, “You’re beautiful, do you realize that? The prettiest girl in all of New York.”

She blushed, “Oh shut up. Quit trying to impress me, even though it might be working.” He grinned and grabbed her hand.

“Let’s go.” The two took off down the sidewalk and Neal and I followed. They stopped at the corner, and from down the street, the smooth voice of Frank Sinatra carried all the way to where they were standing. He leaned down and kissed her again, and this time, she kissed back. I closed my eyes as I remembered the spark, how my hands had sunk into her hair, how she had clung to me as if she was afraid to let go. By the time I opened my eyes, they were gone, drawn into the crowd as they made their way to the next destination.

“Aren’t we going to follow them? I mean...us?”

Neal shrugged, “Do ya remember what happens next?”

I nodded, “I took her to Rockefeller Center to ice skate. It was crowded as hell, not exactly as romantic as I had pictured it, but she loved every second of it. I busted my ass more than once, but she was flawless. Kind of reminded me of when she hunted, graceful but still dangerous...like she knew something everyone else didn’t. She...we...were happy.” I sighed and turned to face Neal again, “Why are we doing this? What is the point in all this?”

Neal smiled and gave a small shrug, “Now if I told ya that, laddie, it would defeat the purpose. Go on, now. It’s time to move on.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t there a schedule to this, like the next one comes at midnight tomorrow to collect me and show me the error of my ways? I mean, that’s what-”

Before I could finish my sentence, Neal was gone and I wasn’t in New York anymore. I was standing outside an abandoned house, alone.

I looked around, the setting familiar but not, and threw my hands up. “Seriously, Neal? No warning, no recoup time, just straight into the next one?”

“We don't really have time for that, it's not like we’re filming a movie.”

I jumped at the sudden voice and turned to face the source. A short woman with messy blonde hair was standing behind me, her hands jammed in her pockets and a look of semi-annoyance on her face. “Oh, great, so I guess you're the fairy that smacks me around. Just what I needed.”

She shrugged, “I don't have to smack you around, unless you're into that kind of thing. Not a fairy either. Name’s Alice, but you can call me Al.”

“Well, it’s not nice to meet you, Al.” I turn and look back at the house, “What is this place?”

“I don't know, this is your life, dude. I just show you want you need to see.” Before I can say anything else, I hear a snap and Al and I are standing in the dilapidated living room. Sammy is leaned against a doorway, his arms crossed as he watched Y/N flip through a giant book.

“Wait...this is...this is house we’re holed up in in Mississippi. What's Y/N doing there? It was just me and Sam on this job…” Al shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, “Is that all you do, just shrug?”

“Yea, mostly.”

“Sam, stop it. It's not going to work.” I look at Y/N, who had spoken without looking up.

“What are you talking about? I legitimately needed help, and since Dean is MIA, I thought maybe you could be useful.” Sam was lying, I could see it on his face. If I knew Y/N well enough, she also knew.

“Bullshit. He made his choice, quit trying to Parent Trap us. Where is he anyway? Out with his latest Christmas Eve conquest?”

She said it with a laugh, but I could see the look on her face, and it broke my heart. “Y/N, I swear, I’m not with anyone! I don’t...I don’t know what’s happening, but...it’s not that.”

“She can’t hear you, you know.”

“I know she can’t fucking hear me, Al! Dammit, what is this supposed to teach me, huh? That I shouldn’t have broken up with her? That I should have drug her into a life of pain and uncertainty, and having to watch me die over and over because this life sure as hell won’t let me go. Is that it? Because I won’t do that. I can’t do that. Not to her.”

“Looks like she’s still doing it, even without you.”

I glared at her, “It’s not been that long. She’ll get out eventually. She wasn’t born into this life, and she doesn’t have to stay in it. I should kick Sam’s ass for even calling her.” I watched as Y/N slammed the book shut and grabbed her jacket.

“Come on, Sasquatch. I think I know what you’re dealing with, although I have a suspicion you already knew. Let’s get it over with so I can get out of here before Dean gets back.” Sam frowned but followed after her and I looked back at Al.

“Now what? Do we follow them?”

She shook her head, “Nah, we’re movin’ on. Like I said, we don’t have much time. We gotta jump ahead a little bit. You said something about Y/N moving on, yea?”

“Yea, but what does that-” I was interrupted by once again being zapped somewhere else, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what we were about to see.

I was standing in the middle of a parking lot,  facing the front of a run down hotel, the sign flickering off and on in the darkness. It was raining, although it didn’t seem like I was actually getting wet. Al had flipped her hood up anyway and had lit a cigarette. I narrowed my eyes at her, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” She shrugged and it took everything I had not to punch her. “Shrug one more time, Al. One more time,” I growled, my hands clenched at my sides.

She took a drag from her cigarette and gave me a tight lipped smile, “Sorry.” She nodded towards the building, “Don’t you want to see why we’re here?”

“Not really, but I guess you’re going to make me, right? So let’s get this shit over with.” I motioned in front of me, “After you, since you know where I’m supposed to be going.” Al walked past me and stopped at Room Thirteen.

“Your turn, Romeo.” I rolled my eyes and moved to open the door, but instead fell through it. The room was dark, but there was enough light coming from outside that I saw two body shaped lumps under the sheets. I watched as the one closest to the door slowly sat up and stretched. Y/N.  

“So you brought me here to show me she’s sleeping with someone else?”

“Quit bitching and keep watching.”

Y/N slipped from bed quietly and began gathering her clothes, but not before I got an eyeful of scars that hadn’t been there before. After she dressed, she sat down and pulled on her boots, carefully lacing them up, then grabbed her jacket and phone from the table. She walked towards the door, paused, went back to the night stand and dug through the wallet that was lying there and pocketed the cash she found. She gave one last look at the form still in bed, then carefully opened the door and shut it quietly behind her. Al and I walked through it, and watched as she hopped into her car and took off, throwing gravel out behind her as she sped off.

“She’s still hunting. And who was that bozo?”

“Who knows? Another hunter, some sorry jackass from the bar who was too drunk to notice all her scars? Does it really matter?”

“Of course it matters! She deserves….God, she deserves so much more than this.” I paused before I asked my next question; I wasn’t sure i wanted the answer. “Where...where am I?”

Al took another puff from her cigarette, then flicked it across the pavement, “I could show you, but there’s not much point. Let’s just say you end up where you started, only this time you don’t leave the cell.”

“What about Sam?” Sam would never leave me in there, not on my own.

“I don’t know. I’m only showing you what I was shown. Maybe Sam begrudgingly agrees to get your drunken ass out, or maybe he leaves you there because he’s tired of your bullshit. Knowing him, though, and your weird codependency, he’ll get you out. That’s not really the point here, Dean. Although I’m not surprised that’s where your brain went.”

I looked in the direction that Y/N had driven, “No, I know that wasn’t the point. She keeps hunting, and she doesn’t settle down. Her life doesn’t change just because I left her. That’s the point, right? That it doesn’t matter what any of us do, we’re all destined to do this anyway.”

“Basically.”

“You know, someone could have just told me that instead of going on this cliche little journey through time.”

Al pulled a cell phone from her pocket and ran her thumb down the screen ,”Yea, but would you have listened? I’m pretty sure time and experience have taught you otherwise.” She looked back up, “Sorry to cut this short, but I’ve got another appointment. So you understand, right? You get why we did this? Get your shit together, Winchester. Neal and I have better things to do than to keep trying to fix your fuck ups, alright? Go get the girl, already.” She snapped her fingers, and everything went black one more time.

I woke up in the Impala, sprawled out in the front seat. I sat up with a gasp and looked around, and realized that I was sitting outside out of a hotel rather than the house Sam and I had been in. “What the hell…” I mumbled, unsure of how I made it to the hotel, never mind with the car. I patted myself down, and not finding any injuries, I slowly climbed out and shut the door. I looked up and realized where I was.

Room Thirteen.

It was definitely a different hotel, but the number was the same. Although it occurred to me that it might be a bad idea to just assume, I walked up to the door anyway and raised my hand to knock. The door swung open and the person on the other side gasped.

“Hey, Y/N,” I nearly whispered, afraid if I was any louder, she’d run. She looked up at me with wide eyes and I wondered if her heart was beating as fast as mine.

“Hi,” she answered just as quietly.

“I...I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry...I just...I wanted to protect you. But you’re just going to end up still hunting while I’m locked up in some drunk tank, and I don’t want you to rob the dudes you sleep with, it’s just not what I wanted for you at all-”

“Excuse me? Who am I robbing? Who said I’m sleeping with anybody-”

“Just listen, okay? Me pushing you away is not going to protect you. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to leave this life and go back to what you had before. The moment you found out about all this stuff, there wasn’t any chance of leaving it. I just...I didn’t want to be the reason you felt trapped, okay? I don’t want to be the reason your dreams are gone.”

Y/N smiled at me, a genuine smile...one I haven’t seen in a long time. She put a hand against my cheek and tilted her head, “You’re a dumbass, Dean Winchester. You’re the reason I’m still here to even have dreams. You didn’t take my old life away, you gave me a new one.” She kissed me, and it was like the world stopped. I closed my eyes and let her warmth sink in, deep into my bones. She pulled back and she laughed as I frowned at the separation. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me, “Wherever you are...that’s where my dreams are, okay?”

“You don’t know how great it is to hear that, kid.” I paused, and she raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“How’d you know I was out here, anyway? You opened the door before I even knocked.”

She shook her head, “No idea. I thought I heard your car and when I looked nothing was there. A couple of minutes later, something made me open the door and check again...and there you were. It was the strangest thing.” She stepped back through the doorway, “Would you like to come inside?”

I nodded and gave her a grin, “Absolutely.” I stopped as I stepped over the threshold and looked over my shoulder. In the distance Neal and Al were standing next to each other, Neal swaying drunkenly and Al smoking. Neal waved, then elbowed Al, who gave a half-hearted nod, and I nodded back. They slowly disappeared into the darkness and I smiled. Merry Christmas, indeed.

Like what you see? Would you like to read more? Check out my master list HERE! 

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbatesmotel53 @easelweasel @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90 @anticipate1003 @mrswhozeewhatsis

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[xxprincessjewelsxx]

BTS | Soulmate!au/College!au How They Ask You On A Date/First Date

Anonymous said:

Could you do a BTS soulmate & college AU?? Thanks in advance! Your writing is 👌👌

Jin: Major: Culinary

Seeing You For The First Time: In the midsts of seeing you (his soulmate) for the first time he dropped a full tray of kabobs meant for a college fundraiser. Though his professor was furious at him, at the time a few hundred kabobs meant nothing compared to running and catching up to you and finding out who you were.

Asking You Out: Becoming friends was easy, asking you out was harder; a few months into your friendship (and you both trying to avoid the soulmate subject) he finally decided to ask you on a date.

“I would love to Jin...where should we go?” you said, smiling at the thought of being out on a date with the man you had fallen head over heels in love with.

“.........Um, well...I don’t know actually...I didn’t think I’d actually get this far,” he replied.

“Very smooth Jin...veeeeeeeery smooth.”

The First Date: Since for a little over two weeks neither of you could agree on where the best place to go to dinner was, you finally put your foot down and made a decision that would suit both of you.

“Movie date night...you’re cooking, I choose the movie,” you stated.

“Oh...uh...I guess that could work.” What you didn’t expect was for Jin to sneak you into the campus kitchen after hours. Where he had everything set up including a movie projector. “I like your idea better than whatever I was thinking up,” he said before taking a bite of noodles.

Suga/Yoongi: Major: Music

Seeing You For The First Time: By now Yoongi was used to the constant chatter of the music and performing arts students and the entered and exited the Performing Arts Center for their classes and rehearsals; for the most part he tended to ignore them and continue on with practicing pieces on the piano for upcoming performances.

That is...until he heard you sing. He normally was not one to get poetic, but if he were to describe the sound that he heard in that moment he could only describe it as an angel singing. And as he turned to see who was singing, he saw that angel and knew angel was his soulmate.

Asking You Out:  Figuring out how to ask you out wasn’t easy for him to ask you out. He was sure that you also knew that you were his soulmate from the small glances that you would send him from across the room. But you were always surrounded by friends, fellows thespians, and guys who showered you with compliments on not only how beautiful you sounded, but on how beautiful you were.

It was only until you had stopped by the arts center later in the evening, hoping to get some peace and alone time to practice your singing did he get his chance.

He hadn’t even noticed you at first; all his concentration on the sheet music in front of him. It was only until his movements stopped and you clapped causing him to jump did he realize you were there.

“Oh...I didn’t mean to startle you,” you apologized, “I heard you playing and stopped to listen. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No...no not at all,” he replied with a small smile, “Actually...I’ve been trying to ask you...if maybe, if maybe we could practice together sometime...after dinner or something.”

You smiled feeling a blush rush to your cheeks knowing what he was actually asking. “I would really like that.”

The First Date: You hadn’t meant to stay as late as you did; the play was right around the corner so Yoongi wanted to finish the set of songs before you left. You didn’t mind...some of the songs you sang along as he played, a smile forming on his face as you did so. Other songs you just sat next to him on the bench and watched as he played, his eyes closed as his fingers glided across the keys.

Once he was done he let out an almost relieved breath. “We can go get some food now...I’m sure you’re hungry.”

“Not quite yet...” you replied, “I was wondering...do you think, I don’t know, maybe you could teach me to play a little some time?”

He smiled and put his hands back on the keys. “Of course...”

J-Hope/Hoseok: Major: Performing Arts

Seeing You For The First Time: As the lead dance, it wasn’t unusual for the performing arts instructors to ask him if he would help the other students with their routines for upcoming performances. As dancing was practically his life unless he had something going on or he had other studies that he had to get caught up on he hardly ever said no (not to mention the could go a long way towards him becoming a choreographer and instructor himself). So when he was asked if he could get a student who had been out with some family issues caught up with some of the choreography he had no issue with it.

Hearing the door to the practice room he turned to greet who had just entered the room when he stopped and just stared.

“Um...hello...”

���Hi...” he said, finding his voice, “You must be Y/N?”

You nodded, before looking at the ground getting shy at his presence.

“We um...I guess...guess we should get started then?”

Asking You Out: After a while of knowing Hoseok, you learned that he had two modes: Stop and Go. There was the in between and then his serious side for dancing, but sometimes you had to reel him back.

So when he began to get really quiet around you you knew something was up. You wondered if it had anything to do with the both of you being soulmates. The two of you had been dancing around the subject for a few months and you had to admit that even you were beginning to wonder how long it would be before on of you finally broke. But at the same time you were scared of what would happen if you actually said something.

“Hey Hoseok, about the new routine I-”

“Willyougoonadatewithme?”

“What did you just say?” You questioned, not sure if you had actually heard him right.

He sighed. “Will you go on a date with me?”

You were silent for a moment before smiling. “Of course I will.” A huge smile appeared on his face and you laughed. “You’re trying not to explode, aren’t you?”

“I’m so happy I want to run around and dance, but I know you’ll tell me not too...so I’ll hold back for now.”

The First Date: You both had decided on a casual date, something where you could just grab some food, talk, laugh, and maybe afterwards go to the festival that was in town or the arcade.

“You know what I like, Hoseok...just order something for me and it should be at the table by the time I get there,” you said into your phone as you tried you get out of your apartment as fast as possible, “I’m so sorry I ended off getting work late, but I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“It’s no problem, I understand how that goes,” he said, “I’ll go ahead and order the food.” After a quick goodbye he hung up the phone and scanned the menu. “Well Y/N likes hamburgers, then there’s the beef bulgogi...oh but the mackerel is really good here.” He thought for a minute before calling over the waitress and ordering a couple different things that you could share.

“Why did you get so much food?!” You questioned seeing the amount of food at the table. 

“It’s not that much, plus...I couldn’t really decide, and I figured we could share and also we’ll have leftovers...win win.”

Rap Monster/Namjoon: Major: Literature

Seeing You For The First Time: When he saw you for the first time it was in the library. He had surrounded himself with stacks of books, working on a paper for his literature class when one of the stacks move.

“Excuse me, I’m still-” he started, but stopped seeing the person that had moved the stack of books.

“Oh...I’m...I’m sorry...I didn’t see you, people leave stacks of books laying around all the time, I thought they they needed to be put away...”

“Um...no, it’s okay,” he said, realizing that it was a library attended. And quite a beautiful one might he add. “You’re just doing your job, but I’m not quite done with those yet...”

“Well...please let me know when you are, I’m more then happy to put them away for you.”

Asking You Out: He spent a lot of time in the library to begin with, but after meeting you he began to spend even more time there. He was talking to you, getting to know you, and distracting you from your work. The head librarian would get onto you about falling behind with your work, but when it came to Namjoon...you didn’t care. You wanted him around and it made you happy when he stopped by the library specifically to see you.

Crash

“Hello Joonie,” you said, turning around and seeing that he had accidentally knocked over a cart of books...again.

“Oh...hey, Y/N....sorry about that,” he said.

“It’s alright, I can get it cleaned up...are you always this clumsy?” You questioned.

“My friends sometimes call me ‘The God of Destruction’...so I would say, yes,” he replied, with an embarrassed chuckled.

“Well we all have our quirks, don’t we?”

“Yes...well before mine destroys the whole library...I was wondering if you would go on a date with me?”

“I’ve been hoping that you’d ask that from day one....”

“So that’s a yes? Cool....I’ll text you with detail,” he said before getting ready to put on his sunglasses to leave only to break them.

“Let’s not go to a museum...”

The First Date: During dinner, though on a regular day he would have no issue talking to you, he began to feel shy. His soulmate was sitting right across from her...on a date. 

He began overthinking the situation...

While he was busy lost in his thoughts about how he was going to impress you, you began to worry that you were boring him. “I’m talkin too much, aren’t I?”

“What? Oh no...I’m just...” he stopped, letting out a sigh, “I guess I’m just overthinking things.”

“Huh?”

“I’m worried that you won’t like me...” he said sadly.

“If I didn’t think I would like you, I wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ to a date,” you said, “All I ask is that you be yourself.”

He perked up a little bit upon hearing this. “I can do that...I can definitely do that.”

Jimin: Major: Performing Arts

Seeing You For The First Time: You were a cat and he was a dog; it was the annual play that the performing arts students put on the children that attended the campus daycare and you had both chosen your roles.

To him, you were the most adorable cat he had ever laid eyes on...

To you, he was the puppy you would never admit out loud that you wanted to snuggle...

He wouldn’t have minded though; the moment he laid eyes on you he knew that you were his soulmate and he had to get to know you better. But after you both were done with the play...

Asking You Out: It had been an accident how he asked you. He had had it all planned out...he wanted to ask you in a romantic way. But as you lingered as some of the last few hanging around the post-production party for your final performance of ‘The Pirates of Penzance’ he blurted out the question he was hoping to ask you within the next couple of days.

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Excuse me?” You questioned, hoping you had heard him correctly. You knew that Jimin was your soulmate and that there was a ninty percent chance of him asking you out because of that, and you had formed a really big crush on him. But at the same time, there was still that fear of rejection.

He took a bite of food to calm his nerves. “Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Of course I will!”

The First Date: You were going to go to the park a picnic, nothing too elaborate...and nothing that would break your ramen noodle every night college student budget. Well...you would’ve gone to the park had the forecast held up and you weren’t now staring out the window at a torrential downpour.

“Go ahead and pick out a movie, I’ll fix some cocoa,” Jimin said, before disappearing into the kitchen of his apartment.

Looking through the stack of movies you stopped at a stack of DVDs labeled ‘Audition Videos’ and your curiosity got the better of you. Sliding the DVD into the machine you sat down and watched what appeared to be old dance auditions of Jimin’s

“Oh god, why are you watching that?” He questioned walking in the living room with two mugs.

“I was curious,” you replied, taking one of the mugs, “You said you hadn’t always been good at dancing...liar.”

“I wasn’t...now give me the remote.”

“Pfft...not until I see the rest of this...”

V/Taehyung: Major: Music

Seeing You For The First Tiime: It was hard to find someone to work with him; Tae was particular and hard working when it came to his singing, so when he had to partner up with someone he had to be paired with someone just as hard working as he was...or maybe his soulmate would work too?

Of course the instructor would never be able to know what was about to happened when he led you into the arts center for a difference class period than usual. He needed help and he felt that you were the person that would be able to get the job done. 

Tae froze as you entered the practice room; your presence in the practice room making his heart stop, but making him want to sing at the same time.

“Taehyung....there you are...I think I’ve found you a partner,” the instructor stated.

Asking You Out: After you got to know Tae you found that he wasn’t all hard work. He was a lot of fun to be around and he had quite a bubbly personality. That was probably one of the reasons why you started crushing on him so fast.

What you didn’t know was that your soulmate was crushing just as hard on you..maybe even harder, and when it came to you he was finding it hard to be around you as just friends...so he decided to do something about it.

“So...Y/N...I was wondering...if maybe, you might want to hang out sometime. Like other than just video games and stuff,” he said, feeling overly nervous.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” you questioned.

“Yes...” he replied.

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you.”

For the next week Tae was so excited for the date he was driving his friends nuts...

The First Date: “What was that?” you questioned, after seeing him throwing two gutter balls.

“I was just getting warmed up,” he said, rolling his shoulders, “You can’t rush perfection.” 

“Riiiight,” you said, taking your turn and throwing a strike. He stood there looking shook at what just happened and you shrugged. “When it comes to bowling I rush the perfection.”

“I’m rethinking the arcade date...” he said.

“Oh no no,” you said laughing, “You chose bowling, we are bowling.”

Jungkook:  Major: Culinary

Seeing You For The First Time: You were part of a small group of volunteers helping out the culinary majors set up for an International food event. At first, after seeing you, Jungkook did his best to try and avoid and even not look at you after he realized what was happening. He needed to concentrate on what he was doing.

‘Don’t look Jungkook, focus on the tamales,’ he thought, looking down at the corn husks in his hands.

“Do you need any help?”

He looked up and just slowly nodded not sure what to say to you in that moment. (Though ‘yes’ would’ve been the obvious thing to say)

“You wrap them like this, right?” you questioned, as you wrapped the masa and chicken in the husk.

“Um...yeah...I think...yeah...”

Asking You Out: “Sorry I don’t have anything better,” you said, placing a ramen cup infront of Jungkook, “I’m not that great of a cook, and plus...ramen is cheaper.”

“It’s no problem,” he said, “I could make dinner for you some time...you know...if you’re interested.”

You were silent for a second before speaking up. “Like...making dinner for a date?”

“I mean...if you don’t want to that’s fine it’s an idea...maybe a dumb one I-”

“I would love that!”

The First Date: “Are you sure I can’t do anything to help?” You questioned, watching as he cooked.

“I’m sure, besides...I said I would cook dinner,” he replied. You reached out and tried to snatch a veggie and he slapped your hand away. “No...no...you can’t have anything before hand.”

“I just wanted a veggie...”

“Well you can’t have a veggie...you have to wait...” You gave him the pouty lip and he looked away from you laughing. “Don’t look at me that way, I can’t stand it when you do that.”

“I know...can I have a veggie now?”

“Maybe....yes....”

xxBTS-Masterlistxx

[theliterateape]

Hope Idiotic | Part 38

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

AFTER DRIVING CHUCK’S CAR AND BELONGINGS—INCLUDING CHUCK IN A PLASTIC URN—HOME TO INDIANA, Cal flew back to Las Vegas to tend to other matters pertaining to his son’s death including contesting the coroner’s ruling that suicide was the cause. Since the house was empty and Cal had no money, Lou agreed that he could crash there until things were sorted out. He did request that Cal pay him one hundred dollars a week for rent and as a way to collect on some of what Chuck still owed. Cal would also have to pay for the utilities, which Lou never bothered to cancel.

It was a pitiful situation, really. The grieving father was living in the same house his son had died in and like his son, the house was dead. The little bit of furniture barely saw any use. There were no photos or artworks on the walls. There were no friends stopping by or meals being prepared in the kitchen. There was no conversation and no laughter, only tears late at night as Cal tried to sleep on the bed, using only an unzipped sleeping bag as a cover.

He wasn’t smart or savvy, but Cal Keller was determined, more determined than he’d probably ever been in his life, to emend the coroner’s ruling. After a week of phone calls and visits to the Clark County Coroner’s office, he got his investigation. The coroner interviewed everyone on the long list Cal provided. The list contained names and phone numbers of friends and co-workers; everyone in Chuck’s cellphone address book.

The coroner wanted to know whether Chuck had seemed sad, what his life was like shortly before he died, what the relationship between Chuck and the person on the other end of the phone was like, how Chuck met that person, how his death affected that person and a host of other questions to complete the inquiry. When all of the interviews were done, and the information was assessed, one thing was clear to the coroner: Chuck Keller was a sweet, fun-loving, exciting, smart, generous, adventurous, humorous, driven man who struggled with an alcohol addiction and had hit on hard times but was turning a corner. He was also a fucking idiot who accidentally killed himself after a night of heavy drinking.

That truth could not be forgotten. It’s so easy to turn the dead into saints because our grief so often soaks our memory in sentimental melancholy, especially if the departed was young. But without that truth, Chuck’s death had no other explanation than suicide. Him being a fucking idiot was critical evidence. It was the smoking gun.

And so the coroner changed the ruling: Charles Keller died as a result of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Cal could have returned to Indiana after that, but he wasn’t quite ready to leave his son’s adopted hometown. R.J. flew out to Vegas and stayed in the house with Cal, where the two men could grieve together. Lou had no idea. Besides, he didn’t give the house much thought since the one hundred-dollar rent checks were coming in the mail every week.

✶

ONE MORNING, WHILE LEXI WAS GETTING DRESSED FOR WORK, a heavy and fast pounding on her apartment’s front door startled her. Wearing only her bra and a pair of dress slacks, she grabbed her robe from the bathroom and answered the door. It was R.J.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as he pushed past her, letting himself into the apartment.

“You know Cal?” he said pacing.

“Chuck’s dad? Yeah.”

“You know that motherfucker…”

“R.J. What the hell are you doing here? In Las Vegas?”

“Came out here a week ago. Couldn’t be home. It’s too damn sad right now, you know? So I came out here to help Cal with stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“I don’t know! Just stuff. You know. This ain’t easy for him, Chuck’s dying and all. Me neither.”

“Does Lou know you’re staying at his house?”

“Who?”

“Never mind. So what’s the problem?”

“You know Cal?”

“We’ve established that.”

“But did you know that that motherfucker is a motherfucking faggot?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Last night, we was drinking by the pool and just talkin’ and stuff and I got pretty wasted. And I fell asleep in one of them chairs out there and next thing I know, I wake up and Cal is sucking my dick.”

“I’m sorry!?”

“Like he’s on his knees with my dick all out, and he’s suckin’ on it.”

“How is that even possible?”

“He undid my pants, I guess.”

“And you were, like, hard?”

“I ain’t gay!”

“I didn’t say that. But neither is Cal.”

“Then why the hell was he suckin’ my dick?”

“Are you sure about this? You didn’t just dream it or something?”

“I told you, I ain’t gay!”

“Alright. So what did you do?”

“When he was done, I stood up and said, ‘Hey! What the fuck are you doing?’ Then I punched him in the face. I almost knocked his ass out and right into the pool.”

“Hang on a minute. You said, ‘When he was done.’ Do you mean that you woke up and even after you saw Cal Keller was giving you a blowjob, you kept letting him? So, you actually finished.”

R.J. stopped pacing. “Well, yeah. I mean, I was drunk. I didn’t know what was going on at first. Not until I blew my wad.”

“Oh, my God, R.J. Okay, so then what happened?”

“I made him take me to the ATM and made him give me all of his money in his account or I’d beat him to death.”

“You mugged the guy after he sucked you off? And how much money did you get?”

“Two hundred forty dollars. I told him that he’d better not tell anyone or I’d beat him to death.”

“So why are you telling me. Why are you here?”

“Because!” He began pacing again. “That motherfucker did it again!”

“When!?”

“This morning!”

“Let me get this straight. You were allegedly raped in your sleep, beat up your rapist, mugged him, threatened his life then went back and slept in the same house as him.”

“Yeah.”

“And how did he come to give you another blowjob? You weren’t still drunk this morning.”

“I was sleeping.”

“And you woke up, again, with Cal blowing you.”

“Yeah.”

“And you finished again, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. But I ain’t gay!”

“R.J., why are you here? Why are you telling me this if you don’t want anyone to know?”

“I just wanted you to know what happened in case Cal said anything to you. My way is the way it happened. Not his. Got that?”

“Sure. Got it.”

“Anyway. I’m leaving town in a few days. Going back home. Maybe it’s better there now, you know?”

“I doubt it. But it’s bound to be better than getting raped in your sleep. Where are you staying until then?”

“With Cal.”

“And you’re not worried about him blowing you again. Against your will.”

“I told him this morning, before I came over here, that if he did it again, I’d beat him to death.”

“I’m sure he’ll heed that warning.”

See? Sadness makes people do the strangest things.

✶

THINGS WERE LESS WEIRD FOR LEXI AND ME, BUT LIKE CHUCK’S FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK IN INDIANA, those of us in Vegas had to lean on each other. Lexi and I met every Monday and Thursday for lunch, and if work got in the way of having lunch, we met at Bella’s, which had announced that it would be closing on New Year’s Day. The view was no match for The Great Recession. Many of the homes in the surrounding gated communities were adorned with foreclosure signs on their Xeriscaped lawns.

It was a fittingly dilapidated view for the sordid story that Lexi told me of Cal and R.J.

“It’s like a goddamn blowjob factory in that house,” I said. “Cal Keller’s Blow Job Factory: Now open!”

“It’s the oddest thing I think I’ve ever heard.”

“Can we believe it?”

“It doesn’t make any sense for R.J. to tell me a lie like that out of nowhere.”

“Yeah. I think he was protesting too much. Covering his tracks. Making it seem like rape when really, they’re just two grown men sharing feelings of loss and finding comfort in sleepy blowjobs. I bet R.J. wasn’t even sleeping. That’s just part of the game they play to keep it kinky and exciting and, you know, less homoerotic.”

“Exactly.”

On our way out, Lexi ducked into the restroom. I waited just outside the restaurant and took in the early Vegas winter air. The forthcoming winter and following spring are the best times of year in that city. I was yanked from my reverie when I heard my name being called.

“Neal?”

“Gina.” I hadn’t seen her in nearly two months since Chuck died. “What’re you doing here?” We hugged awkwardly.

“Just, you know, grabbing some dinner. I know this place is closing and, well, I always liked the food.”

“I haven’t seen you around the property. Everything good?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Just busy.” She was with a guy who, in that particular light, resembled Chuck. “Oh, sorry, this is my, um, friend Aaron.” We shook hands. “We’ve gone out a couple of times.”

Because of Gina’s surprise, I had momentarily forgotten about Lexi who would no doubt be out of the restroom and standing among us any second. For everyone’s sake, I thought it best to not have the two women see each other. I tried hurrying Gina into the restaurant and out of sight. I opened the door and ushered the couple to the hostess stand.

“That’s great; you’re a handsome couple,” I said. “Try the special tonight. It’s great if you like pasta. Excuse me,” I said to the hostess. “This young, attractive couple would love a table for two. Something romantic, by the window perhaps.”

The hostess looked confused. So did Gina and her date.

“Neal…?” Lexi began.

“Okay, well, I gotta run. Great seeing you. Enjoy your meal,” I said as I backed away, took Lexi’s hand and started leading her out of the restaurant.

“Hi, Lexi,” Gina said.

“Shit,” I said under my breath. I let go of Lexi’s hand as she pulled away.

“Gina.” Lexi looked quizzically at the man standing with the woman who had unintentionally—and unknowingly to both women for the better part of two years—become her mortal enemy.

“How are you? How have you been?” Gina asked.

Lexi broke her stare. “What?”

“How have you been?”

“Good.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear. I’ve been good, too.”

“Okay.” It was like she was watching the Hindenburg crash into the Titanic. I took Lexi’s hand again and pulled gently, but she resisted.

“Do you still talk to Lou?” asked Gina.

“Yes.”

“Ever talk to Chuck’s parents?”

“Of course,” she said with a tone slightly peppered with spite.

“Oh.” Gina looked down.

“I don’t know what you thought you had with Chuck, or even what you actually meant to him, but he and I were going to make it.”

“Lexi, come on,” I said.

“Maybe he loved you—he probably did—but he loved me, too. And he loved me since we were kids. And he loved me at the very end. He always loved me through everything, and I always loved him through everything. Everything.” She was crying. Gina had begun crying, too.

“I know,” Gina said. “I couldn’t hold a candle to you, Lexi. I tried, but I couldn’t.”

Lexi had been looking for a fight, but that disarmed her. “What?”

“Even at our best, I knew that somewhere in the back of his mind, he was thinking about you.”

“Oh. Well. Thank you?”

“You’re welcome?”

The women looked at each other a moment as the tension fluctuated and the awkwardness built.

“Are you ready to be seated?” the hostess cut in.

“They are,” I said quickly. “Come on, Lexi.”

As Lexi and I walked out of Bella’s, I heard Gina’s date ask her, “Who’s Chuck?”

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37

[timclymer]

Suicide in the Church, Part 3

Suicide strikes … AGAIN!

This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others, helping them understand, motivating them to help. I trust there will be those who will actually clip it, mailing it to someone for what they are worried about, or posting it in the breakroom.

I’ve written quite a bit about suicide over the past few weeks and have received some remarkable feedback. I wrote on the subject because there have been so many suitors lately and folks wanted answers. If you’ve read any of the previous articles, you’ve seen some frightening statistics. This subject remains heavy on my heart and continues to be a concern to many. For me, it started when a man with what a dear friend had been interacting was found in his jail cell with a cable TV wire around his neck. Then, another friend who led a Bible study took his own life. Within days, this was followed by the suicide of another man who, along with his spouse, had prayed with and preceded the previous friend’s wife.

Saturday, I officiated a wedding 2 hours away. Incredibly, on Sunday, the father of the bride took his own life.

My mind is reeling as I write.

Suicide has a frightening air of finality. Filled with hopelessness, despair, and tragedy, it’s a word we like to keep at arms’ length. As a whole, society tends to look down its nose at anyone who would commit this gruesome act. We call them selfish, cowardly … I must admit, after seeing that beautiful young bride and her dashing husband on Saturday, preparing to begin their lives together, if her father were standing alive before me now, I’ve got a hard time refraining from beating the thunder out of him. How could he do that to his precious daughter?

But I recall the day, about 15 years ago, that suicide entered my thoughts in a different way. I had just lost my job with a Dallas ad agency and my wife had left me, taking our kids with her. For the first time in my life, I was all alone on a Thanksgiving, too broke to join any family gatherings taking place across the country. Our church friends had quickly chosen sides and had shunned yours truly. It was Thanksgiving Eve, sleeting and raining, about 16 below zero with the wind chill. I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a mobile home, my entire world seemingly in shambles all around me. I remember waking up to the whirring sound of ball bearings rolling around in the furnace which was now spewing forth cold air. I was dizzy, disoriented, freezing to death in my sleep, I believe. Taking my own life with the razor sharp meat clever in the kitchen was the most natural thought in the world to me. I formulated a plan to slit my wrists, crawl back onto my mattress, and let them find me in the spring. Truly, I was experiencing the darkest hour of my soul.

But God stepped in. The atmosphere became charged as it does when a frisky puppy runs into a room or a bunch of children run through an open screen door to get a drink from the kitchen sink on a hot summer day. “Joy will come in the morning” suddenly echoed through my mind. I bundled up and made it through the night, only to be awakened next day by a startingling crash as a sheet of ice melted and slid off the metal roof onto the frozen ground. I looked outside and the sun was glazing off the melting ice everywhere.

Life got gradually better. Incredibly better. Today, I would not trade mine for all the world.

Truth is, I discovered another option to suicide. I found it in the Bible, God’s love letter to mankind. You know … that perennially best-selling book most Christians rarely read? The good news about the current state of depression some may be feeling at this moment, is that God really DOES have a plan for your life – a plan that can only be fulfilled when we give everything over to Him. Listen, there IS a purpose for your life; a reason for your existence. Your current, dismal, emotional and spiritual state may be the very springboard you need for discovering just how valuable you are to Him, how your life can be transformed, and how others can be rescued by YOU. Tough times do NOT last. Tough people DO!

Perhaps you’ve asked yourself, “How did I get to this point?” The answer? Gradually, just as drops of water will slowly but surley fill a bucket. Everyone goes through periods in their lives when they feel down. In time, sadness leaves and life goes on. There are instances, however, when tough times, a strained relationship or some other problem, leads to unhappiness that keeps us in bondage. When that happens, life can become a daily struggle with uneasiness, gloom, and emptiness. Ultimately, hopelessness can take hold, creating a feeling of dissatisfaction with everything.

Depression is often associated with a sense of loss that can come with illness, the death of a loved one, sudden unemployment, divorce, and so on. A chronic illness, or permanent disability, can rob one’s independence, making them feel worthless, helpless, and angry. Losing someone you care about, through death or divorce, can leave a tremendous void.

Guilt is another trigger for depression. Perhaps you’re struggling with substance abuse or another addiction or have made some really bad choices that you’re ashamed of that are about to be disclosed. A childhood trauma may have left you feeling damaged and unworthy of God’s love and acceptance. Maybe you feel like a failure because you have not achieved all that you wanted in life.

Whatever the cause, depression often leads to a sense of hopelessness. You may feel as though you’re at the end of your rope. You may think that ending your life is the only way to take control.

Trust me, it’s not.

What’s next? The answer is simple. REALLY simple. You can go on with life as usual, knowing where that may lead, or you can get a life. I’m talkin ‘REAL life. For some, the fact that you’re still reading this shows that you desire another option. So, here’s my answer. Ready? It’s my experience that there is only one real source of hope for a life of purpose, fulfillment, and joy.

That source has a name … it’s Jesus Christ.

It is my firm contention that Jesus is the answer to every problem known to mankind. To those who are still with me, that’s either absolute truth or it’s a lie. He said about His followers, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). If that statement is true, logic screams for us to quickly become his followers. We must address the question, “If I’m not living real life, what is THIS?” Through a REAL, experiential relationship with Jesus Christ, overflowing love, forgiveness, peace, and joy can be ours. Interested? That’s a promise from God found in the Bible.

And God does not lie.

Sadly, far too often, even Christians settle for Religion and Church attendance over a relationship with the Creator through Christ’s teachings found in Scripture.

The How-to’s of Overcoming

I failed to mention that all the recent local suicides have been committed by professing Christians. Did Jesus promise his followers a problem-free life on Earth? No. He actually said, “In this life, you will have many troubles ….” He DID promise the power to face life’s trials with confidence, knowing that He will cause ALL things to work for our good.

By the way, the Greek word for “all” means ALL!

He promised either to deliver us from afflictions, or provide the strength to end them, according to His plan for us. Here’s the catch: to set that plan in motion requires giving our lives to Him.

As Bob Dylan sang, “We’re gonna serve somebody.” Even the atheist serves himself, enthroning himself as “lord” of his own life. By placing Jesus Christ on the throne of our lives, spiritually, we become what the Bible calls “born again” and we’re completely transformed as we renew our minds. According to the Scriptures, that same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within us, His followers. Again, this has been my expereince and, I contend, the very answer that someone somewhere is needing. Your reading of this now is no accident.

Dust off that old Bible and look up the following verses: John 1:12; II Corinthians 5: 17; I Corinthians 2:12; I John 5: 11-13.

Jesus said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me” (Revelation 3:20). He’s knocking right now. Open the door.

Three Keys to Vicorious Living

1) Talk to God. We call it “prayer” but it’s purely conversation with God. TWO-WAY conversation at that. So, be quiet and listen sometimes.

2) Begin reading the Bible. Get to know the Personality of the one who made came up with all those Precepts for living life with Power. You’ll find He’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet. Talk with Him as if He were your best friend. He IS!

3) Make yourself accountable to those who are living the Christian life successfully. Like all babies, even baby Chrsitians should aspire to GROW to maturity. In a nutshell, we become that with which we surround ourselves. Surround yourself with godly people and godly input.

What if You’re Already a Christian?

First, ask yourself if you really ARE a Christian. The word 'Christian’ translates as “Little Christs.” Galatians 5:22 tells us what the fruits of the Spirit are, the evidence that God’s Spirit resides in us. Too many people believe themselves to be Christians simply because they believe in God. Scripture declares that “even the devil believes, and he trembles.” Truth is, without we spend time with Him, how can we know Him at all? What relationship works like that? Logically speaking, Church attendance does not make one a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s make one a cheeseburger. Beside, Church is something we ARE 24/7 (meaning: “the called out ones”); it’s not merely someplace we GO.

To those who DO have a relationship with God, the enemy of our souls can cause any of us to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts in a moment of weakness. So might a chemical imbalance. It can happen for all of the same reasons mentioned above. The trials of life touch everyone, including Believers in Jesus.

If the situation you are in is something you can not change, know that God’s the Inventor of Divine Intervention. As hard as it may be to do, continue praying for His help and covet the prayers of other victorious Christians. Do not stop. He does hear our prayers, but his perfect plan and ours are not always the same. Trust Him to respond in a way that will be to your best interest. That includes the possibility that He will give you strength and peace to end your trial rather than deliver you from it. He’s so much more concerned about our character than our comfort. His number one goal is to conform us to the image of Christ who, Scriptures tells us, was Himself sent by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be temped by the devil (Jesus is truly our example in EVERY way). Some of God’s greatest answers to prayer come in the form of peace and joy in the mid of great hardship. You can believe that He will see you through every storm in your life.

Along those lines, take a look at these verses: Psalm 23; Psalm 28: 7; Isaiah 43: 2; Romans 8:28; Philippians 4:13.

We are spirit-beings having an earthly experience. As such, you must ask God to fill you with His Spirit to help you tackle life by His power. Scripture declares, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.” The Bible is full of God’s promises to love, strengthen, heal, and guide.

The Purpose-Driven Life is a Top-Selling book these days. Begin reading God’s Word in a Purpose-Driven manner: to discover new insights about His love for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your journey and to reveal truths you’ve never seen before. He’s the consensus teacher, after all. Accept the fact of God’s love for you by faith, NOT by feelings.

Look at these verses and receive them from God directly to you: John 3:16; Romans 5: 8; Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 41:10; Lamentations 3: 22-23.

Today’s culture detests any mention of this word, but here goes: SIN. If you want to walk in victory, acknowledge any sin that might be interfering in your relationship with God. Ask Him to search your heart and pinpoint any problems. Then, confess and repent of your disobedience and receive his forgiveness. Confess means “to agree” and repent means “to change your mind.”

Here are some verses for dealing with sin: I John 1: 9; Psalm 139: 23-24; Galatians 5: 16-25.

Help Yourself to some help!

As part of the Body of Christ, you may wish to consult help from other Body Parts. Professional help in the form of a qualified Christian counselor has proved to be one of the best ways to fight depression and thoughts of suicide. Look in the phone book and make some calls. Ask for references. A good pastoral counselor can help you get a new perspective on your problems. Get a medical check-up. Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance or other biological factor.

Seek out a support group made of like-minded believers that can minister to the area of ​​difficulty in your life. Interacting with others who are facing similar challenges will help you feel less isolated.

Force yourself to do something the next time you feel down. Inactivity only makes depression worse. Here are some things to try:

Talk it out. Call a friend and open up.

Take a hike. Exercise causes blood and oxygen to circulate faster, which invigorates us. The brain produces endorphins that fight depression.

Help someone else. As you focus your attention on someone else, your own cares will become less burdensome. I often refer people to watch “Patch Adams” with Robin Williams, then report to me on their findings. Do not judge me on that; lives have been saved. God can use anything.

Listen to uplifting music. Choose your favorite songs and start jammin ’!

Here’s the good news: Whatever you’re struggling with at the moment, this too will pass. Whatever it is you’re going through, you’ll go through it. Though things may actually get worse before they get better, they will get better as you place them in God’s hands. Yes, we reap as we sow and there may be some really tough consequences coming to deal with. But whatever you do, deal with it!

Remember, “All things work together for good for those who love God and have been called according to His purpose.” Translation? God takes care of the lives of those who turn their lives over to Him.

Resist any thoughts you may be having about “ending it all.” God has the uncanny ability of taking that which seems really bad and making things turn out really good.

If you’d like to subscribe and receive more of pastor Michael’s articles by eMail, simply write team1min@aol.com and type SUBSCRIBE in the SUBJECT bar. Or, keep returning to these EzineArticles.com.

Source by Michael Tummillo

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/suicide-in-the-church-part-3-2/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/185952409940 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress

[homesolutionsforev]

Suicide in the Church, Part 3

Suicide strikes … AGAIN!

This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others, helping them understand, motivating them to help. I trust there will be those who will actually clip it, mailing it to someone for what they are worried about, or posting it in the breakroom.

I've written quite a bit about suicide over the past few weeks and have received some remarkable feedback. I wrote on the subject because there have been so many suitors lately and folks wanted answers. If you've read any of the previous articles, you've seen some frightening statistics. This subject remains heavy on my heart and continues to be a concern to many. For me, it started when a man with what a dear friend had been interacting was found in his jail cell with a cable TV wire around his neck. Then, another friend who led a Bible study took his own life. Within days, this was followed by the suicide of another man who, along with his spouse, had prayed with and preceded the previous friend's wife.

Saturday, I officiated a wedding 2 hours away. Incredibly, on Sunday, the father of the bride took his own life.

My mind is reeling as I write.

Suicide has a frightening air of finality. Filled with hopelessness, despair, and tragedy, it's a word we like to keep at arms' length. As a whole, society tends to look down its nose at anyone who would commit this gruesome act. We call them selfish, cowardly … I must admit, after seeing that beautiful young bride and her dashing husband on Saturday, preparing to begin their lives together, if her father were standing alive before me now, I've got a hard time refraining from beating the thunder out of him. How could he do that to his precious daughter?

But I recall the day, about 15 years ago, that suicide entered my thoughts in a different way. I had just lost my job with a Dallas ad agency and my wife had left me, taking our kids with her. For the first time in my life, I was all alone on a Thanksgiving, too broke to join any family gatherings taking place across the country. Our church friends had quickly chosen sides and had shunned yours truly. It was Thanksgiving Eve, sleeting and raining, about 16 below zero with the wind chill. I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a mobile home, my entire world seemingly in shambles all around me. I remember waking up to the whirring sound of ball bearings rolling around in the furnace which was now spewing forth cold air. I was dizzy, disoriented, freezing to death in my sleep, I believe. Taking my own life with the razor sharp meat clever in the kitchen was the most natural thought in the world to me. I formulated a plan to slit my wrists, crawl back onto my mattress, and let them find me in the spring. Truly, I was experiencing the darkest hour of my soul.

But God stepped in. The atmosphere became charged as it does when a frisky puppy runs into a room or a bunch of children run through an open screen door to get a drink from the kitchen sink on a hot summer day. "Joy will come in the morning" suddenly echoed through my mind. I bundled up and made it through the night, only to be awakened next day by a startingling crash as a sheet of ice melted and slid off the metal roof onto the frozen ground. I looked outside and the sun was glazing off the melting ice everywhere.

Life got gradually better. Incredibly better. Today, I would not trade mine for all the world.

Truth is, I discovered another option to suicide. I found it in the Bible, God's love letter to mankind. You know … that perennially best-selling book most Christians rarely read? The good news about the current state of depression some may be feeling at this moment, is that God really DOES have a plan for your life – a plan that can only be fulfilled when we give everything over to Him. Listen, there IS a purpose for your life; a reason for your existence. Your current, dismal, emotional and spiritual state may be the very springboard you need for discovering just how valuable you are to Him, how your life can be transformed, and how others can be rescued by YOU. Tough times do NOT last. Tough people DO!

Perhaps you've asked yourself, "How did I get to this point?" The answer? Gradually, just as drops of water will slowly but surley fill a bucket. Everyone goes through periods in their lives when they feel down. In time, sadness leaves and life goes on. There are instances, however, when tough times, a strained relationship or some other problem, leads to unhappiness that keeps us in bondage. When that happens, life can become a daily struggle with uneasiness, gloom, and emptiness. Ultimately, hopelessness can take hold, creating a feeling of dissatisfaction with everything.

Depression is often associated with a sense of loss that can come with illness, the death of a loved one, sudden unemployment, divorce, and so on. A chronic illness, or permanent disability, can rob one's independence, making them feel worthless, helpless, and angry. Losing someone you care about, through death or divorce, can leave a tremendous void.

Guilt is another trigger for depression. Perhaps you're struggling with substance abuse or another addiction or have made some really bad choices that you're ashamed of that are about to be disclosed. A childhood trauma may have left you feeling damaged and unworthy of God's love and acceptance. Maybe you feel like a failure because you have not achieved all that you wanted in life.

Whatever the cause, depression often leads to a sense of hopelessness. You may feel as though you're at the end of your rope. You may think that ending your life is the only way to take control.

Trust me, it's not.

What's next? The answer is simple. REALLY simple. You can go on with life as usual, knowing where that may lead, or you can get a life. I'm talkin 'REAL life. For some, the fact that you're still reading this shows that you desire another option. So, here's my answer. Ready? It's my experience that there is only one real source of hope for a life of purpose, fulfillment, and joy.

That source has a name … it's Jesus Christ.

It is my firm contention that Jesus is the answer to every problem known to mankind. To those who are still with me, that's either absolute truth or it's a lie. He said about His followers, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10). If that statement is true, logic screams for us to quickly become his followers. We must address the question, "If I'm not living real life, what is THIS?" Through a REAL, experiential relationship with Jesus Christ, overflowing love, forgiveness, peace, and joy can be ours. Interested? That's a promise from God found in the Bible.

And God does not lie.

Sadly, far too often, even Christians settle for Religion and Church attendance over a relationship with the Creator through Christ's teachings found in Scripture.

The How-to's of Overcoming

I failed to mention that all the recent local suicides have been committed by professing Christians. Did Jesus promise his followers a problem-free life on Earth? No. He actually said, "In this life, you will have many troubles …." He DID promise the power to face life's trials with confidence, knowing that He will cause ALL things to work for our good.

By the way, the Greek word for "all" means ALL!

He promised either to deliver us from afflictions, or provide the strength to end them, according to His plan for us. Here's the catch: to set that plan in motion requires giving our lives to Him.

As Bob Dylan sang, "We're gonna serve somebody." Even the atheist serves himself, enthroning himself as "lord" of his own life. By placing Jesus Christ on the throne of our lives, spiritually, we become what the Bible calls "born again" and we're completely transformed as we renew our minds. According to the Scriptures, that same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within us, His followers. Again, this has been my expereince and, I contend, the very answer that someone somewhere is needing. Your reading of this now is no accident.

Dust off that old Bible and look up the following verses: John 1:12; II Corinthians 5: 17; I Corinthians 2:12; I John 5: 11-13.

Jesus said, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me" (Revelation 3:20). He's knocking right now. Open the door.

Three Keys to Vicorious Living

1) Talk to God. We call it "prayer" but it's purely conversation with God. TWO-WAY conversation at that. So, be quiet and listen sometimes.

2) Begin reading the Bible. Get to know the Personality of the one who made came up with all those Precepts for living life with Power. You'll find He's the kindest person you'll ever meet. Talk with Him as if He were your best friend. He IS!

3) Make yourself accountable to those who are living the Christian life successfully. Like all babies, even baby Chrsitians should aspire to GROW to maturity. In a nutshell, we become that with which we surround ourselves. Surround yourself with godly people and godly input.

What if You're Already a Christian?

First, ask yourself if you really ARE a Christian. The word 'Christian' translates as "Little Christs." Galatians 5:22 tells us what the fruits of the Spirit are, the evidence that God's Spirit resides in us. Too many people believe themselves to be Christians simply because they believe in God. Scripture declares that "even the devil believes, and he trembles." Truth is, without we spend time with Him, how can we know Him at all? What relationship works like that? Logically speaking, Church attendance does not make one a Christian any more than going to McDonald's make one a cheeseburger. Beside, Church is something we ARE 24/7 (meaning: "the called out ones"); it's not merely someplace we GO.

To those who DO have a relationship with God, the enemy of our souls can cause any of us to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts in a moment of weakness. So might a chemical imbalance. It can happen for all of the same reasons mentioned above. The trials of life touch everyone, including Believers in Jesus.

If the situation you are in is something you can not change, know that God's the Inventor of Divine Intervention. As hard as it may be to do, continue praying for His help and covet the prayers of other victorious Christians. Do not stop. He does hear our prayers, but his perfect plan and ours are not always the same. Trust Him to respond in a way that will be to your best interest. That includes the possibility that He will give you strength and peace to end your trial rather than deliver you from it. He's so much more concerned about our character than our comfort. His number one goal is to conform us to the image of Christ who, Scriptures tells us, was Himself sent by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be temped by the devil (Jesus is truly our example in EVERY way). Some of God's greatest answers to prayer come in the form of peace and joy in the mid of great hardship. You can believe that He will see you through every storm in your life.

Along those lines, take a look at these verses: Psalm 23; Psalm 28: 7; Isaiah 43: 2; Romans 8:28; Philippians 4:13.

We are spirit-beings having an earthly experience. As such, you must ask God to fill you with His Spirit to help you tackle life by His power. Scripture declares, "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you." The Bible is full of God's promises to love, strengthen, heal, and guide.

The Purpose-Driven Life is a Top-Selling book these days. Begin reading God's Word in a Purpose-Driven manner: to discover new insights about His love for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your journey and to reveal truths you've never seen before. He's the consensus teacher, after all. Accept the fact of God's love for you by faith, NOT by feelings.

Look at these verses and receive them from God directly to you: John 3:16; Romans 5: 8; Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 41:10; Lamentations 3: 22-23.

Today's culture detests any mention of this word, but here goes: SIN. If you want to walk in victory, acknowledge any sin that might be interfering in your relationship with God. Ask Him to search your heart and pinpoint any problems. Then, confess and repent of your disobedience and receive his forgiveness. Confess means "to agree" and repent means "to change your mind."

Here are some verses for dealing with sin: I John 1: 9; Psalm 139: 23-24; Galatians 5: 16-25.

Help Yourself to some help!

As part of the Body of Christ, you may wish to consult help from other Body Parts. Professional help in the form of a qualified Christian counselor has proved to be one of the best ways to fight depression and thoughts of suicide. Look in the phone book and make some calls. Ask for references. A good pastoral counselor can help you get a new perspective on your problems. Get a medical check-up. Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance or other biological factor.

Seek out a support group made of like-minded believers that can minister to the area of ​​difficulty in your life. Interacting with others who are facing similar challenges will help you feel less isolated.

Force yourself to do something the next time you feel down. Inactivity only makes depression worse. Here are some things to try:

Talk it out. Call a friend and open up.

Take a hike. Exercise causes blood and oxygen to circulate faster, which invigorates us. The brain produces endorphins that fight depression.

Help someone else. As you focus your attention on someone else, your own cares will become less burdensome. I often refer people to watch "Patch Adams" with Robin Williams, then report to me on their findings. Do not judge me on that; lives have been saved. God can use anything.

Listen to uplifting music. Choose your favorite songs and start jammin '!

Here's the good news: Whatever you're struggling with at the moment, this too will pass. Whatever it is you're going through, you'll go through it. Though things may actually get worse before they get better, they will get better as you place them in God's hands. Yes, we reap as we sow and there may be some really tough consequences coming to deal with. But whatever you do, deal with it!

Remember, "All things work together for good for those who love God and have been called according to His purpose." Translation? God takes care of the lives of those who turn their lives over to Him.

Resist any thoughts you may be having about "ending it all." God has the uncanny ability of taking that which seems really bad and making things turn out really good.

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Source by Michael Tummillo

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