#I love being called by name in general but casually being called nick is so <3<3<3

[skz317cb97]

The Haze

Jisung x Thick female reader

Word count: 4.6K

Synopsis: You call your friend Jisung and ask him to smoke with you after having a terrible week.

A/N: 18+ ONLY! A little idiots to lovers for you all! We're already half way through another thick reader series! How? Thank you all for always being so supportive of this series and my writing in general. If you enjoy this one please reblog, like, comment, jump in my asks, your feedback fuels me! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Casual drug use/pot smoking (it centers around it quite a bit), cursing/strong language, pet names (gorgeous, pretty etc), dry humping, protected piv sex, choking/breath play, oral (m receiving), cum eating/cum shot, masterbation/guided masturbation (m&f), slight Jisung dom/MC sub dynamic. I think that's all but if I ever miss anything please let me know and I'll add it asap!

You were not a stoner. You weren’t even a social pot smoker but every now and then, after a particularly bad week, you would call your friend Jisung and ask him to get you stoned. Not that he was a pothead either but he always had something set back in case of a party or, like today, you needing to unwind. This week your boyfriend broke up with you in the most heinous way and you cried in the bathroom at work at least once a day. You needed to turn your brain off for a minute, you needed to get high, you called Jisung.  

“Heyyy!! What’s up gorgeous!” Was what you heard when he answered. Jisung was sweet, he always called you little nick names like that and it made you smile. You were bigger and a little self-conscious about it and Jisung always seemed to know when you needed a compliment. It made you smile this time too but only momentarily and then you sighed. 

“Hey Ji...” He could hear how down you sounded. 

“What’s wrong?” He was concerned immediately. You sighed again trying to fight off tears while also trying not to think about every horrible thing your ex had said to you. 

“Can I come over and smoke with you?” His heart broke a little. You sounded really upset and he knew you only smoked when life had been too rough to handle. 

“That bad?”  

“I... I can explain everything when I get there.” You sighed again.  

“No no you don’t have to explain anything to me beautiful. Of course you can come over and smoke, I’ll unlock the front door and just walk in when you get here okay?” 

“Okay Ji, thanks.” You could hear his smile in his voice. 

“Really it’s nothing. I’ll see you soon, bye!” You hung up with Jisung and tossed on some comfy clothes, a pair of sweats, a cropped band t shirt, zip up hoodie and slides then you hopped in your car and drove to Jisung’s place. When you got there you let yourself in and Jisung was sitting on the couch in his living room watching anime. When he saw that you had walked in he paused it. 

“Hey you made it!” He got up and gave you a hug squeezing your soft body with his strong arms. Jisung was always warm, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and when you rested your head on one, he held on to you understanding that you needed a little skinship. Jisung was one of your best friends and he was affectionate and sweet, he rubbed your back up and down, holding you for a moment. 

“You wanna talk about it.” You shook your head and nuzzled into his warmth a little more. 

“Not really...but... TLDR Chase broke up with me. He said he felt that I was ‘letting myself go already’ and that ‘we should see other people’, which I assume means he already has been. He said other things but that was the gist of it.” You got a little choked up at the end and Jisung squeezed you tighter. 

“I haven’t even gained any weight...” You said softly fighting tears, embarrassed and upset that the body you already weren’t confident in was the reason your ex gave you for leaving. 

“Fuck that guy, you look great, and so what if you had gained weight. Shit like that doesn’t matter if you love someone.” You nodded quietly against Jisung’s shoulder 

“He’s fucking idiot...and... and a verb!” You giggled a little. 

“A verb? Sungie what are you talking about?” 

“Chase, it’s a verb. Who wants to date a verb and not even a very good one. I can think of a hundred other verbs that are so much better than Chase.” Jisung finally managed to get a genuine laugh out of you. 

“We should smoke and forget about that dick head. What do you say?” You nodded as your laughter died down to a chuckle and Jisung could feel you smiling against his shoulder. Good, he thought. He loved your smile. He let go and offered you a seat. 

“Here sit there, it’s warm I was just sitting there.” You giggled and sat down in his spot. Jisung sat next to you and pulled out a joint. 

“I took the liberty and prepared this on your way over.” You didn’t think you’d ever been so ready to smoke and just relax, slow down. 

“I could kiss you! I’m so glad you have that ready.” Jisung puckered up and made a cute kissy face at you, leaning in pointing at them. 

“Well come on then ppoppo!” You laughed pushing at his firm pecks to stop him. 

“Light that you goofball.” He gave you his big toothy smile and pulled out his lighter, flicking it and lighting the joint. He inhaled then passed it to you and you took a drag. You unzipped your hoodie and sat back. Jisung couldn’t help but notice how good you looked, that crop top showing a flash of your bra underneath. What was that Chase guy even thinking? Jisung thought your body was perfect, ideal even. He’d flirted with you for years but you always shot him down so he assumed you only wanted to be friends.  

In your defense it wasn’t like you were trying to shoot him down, you just thought he was being nice when he said the things he said. You didn’t think someone like Jisung would go for.... well a big girl like you but when Jisung called you gorgeous it’s because he thought you were gorgeous. Even sitting there now on his sofa, wearing sweats and a t-shirt, just regular lounge wear but you were beautiful. You sat up and passed the joint back to Jisung. 

“Got any new playlists?” Jisung inhaled again and held it, nodding his head then blowing out the smoke. 

“Yea actually, here take this...” He passed the joint back to you and ran to get his laptop. Jisung’s job was in the music industry, so he always had the inside scoop on the new stuff coming out. You and Jisung finished smoking the joint while you listened to the first few songs of his new playlist. You were starting to feel better, calmer. Your head was the fun kind of fuzzy and the muscles of your body felt so relaxed. Then you heard the beginning of a song that you actually knew. 

“Oh my god I love this song.” Jisung was more than a little surprised. It was pretty new and not the type of music he thought you listened to. He’d forgotten it was even on the playlist. 

“Really?! You know this song?! Are you sure?” You were feeling good now. You jumped up took off your hoodie and threw it on the couch. 

“YES!” You started to dance and sing along as the lyrics began. 

“Don’t look at me like that, ohh unless you really like that, you know my body I don’t have time to waste oh no...” To say that Jisung was utterly shocked would still be an understatement. One. You could actually flow. Two, he’d never pegged you for a raunchy bump and grind r&b type and three, you had started to move your full body to the beat as you went on reciting the lyrics perfectly while he struggled to breathe. 

“If I seduce you bae, will you come take the bait? Is you gon’ do that thing, that makes me wanna say, got me like ooh...” You rolled your soft body along and Jisung’s mouth was dry, he wasn’t sure if it was from the weed or you. 

“She wanna ride me while she smoke weed, she said keep your chains on while you choke me...” Jisung was trying to be a good friend and not get a boner at the sight of you moving your curvy body and singing such provocative things, that line about choking definitely not helping, he was only a man, flesh and blood and your ass was swaying eye level. He watched hypnotized until the song ended and he snapped out of it as you slunk back down on the couch with a smile. 

“I think that would be so much fun to try...” You said not really thinking. Your filter had kind of gone out the window as soon as you jumped up and started dancing. Jisung’s eyes shot over to you laying back on the couch. 

“What? What would?” You looked over at him and saw the way he was looking at you wide eyed. You sat up straighter realizing what you’d just admitted out loud and you started to feel a little self-conscious. You pulled your zip up hoodie back on covering yourself. 

“Nothing never mind forg-” You just wanted to drop it before you made a complete ass of yourself. 

“What would y/n?” Jisung wasn’t dropping it. Not if you were saying what he thought you were saying. 

“I... well... you know have sex and smoke weed at the same time. My body is always buzzing after I smoke so I can only imagine it would heighten the experience.” Jisung’s dick was definitely hard now. He fidgeted in his seat trying to make sure it wasn’t obvious. 

“And... you’d like to try that some time, with... uh someone?” Jisung swallowed hard, his Adams apple bobbing and you nodded shyly. You couldn’t believe you were telling Jisung this. The two of you never talked about sex or preferences or anything like that before, so this was all new territory and you were a little embarrassed. You weren’t sure exactly why he even was asking you this. When you looked at him again, Jisung looked as nervous as you and then cleared his throat. 

“Uh.... would you... I mean... would you... want... to... do that with me?” Your jaw dropped. Was he... did he... hold on. 

“Jisung... I’m sure it would be a lot of fun...” He was already feeling the sting of rejection and like an absolute ass for suggesting it. You’d always ignored his other advances, why would you suddenly want to fuck him just because of some lyrics? 

“I really like you Ji... a lot... more than I probably should... more than a friend. I just don’t think I’m in the right head space to handle casual sex right now, not after the things Chase said and especially not... well not with a guy I have deeper feelings for.” Wait a minute, feelings? Deeper? 

“You have feelings for me?!” You hesitated. Your mouth was betraying you left and right. You started biting your lip but you had already admitted it so you nodded. Jisung couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“y/n I flirt with you all the time! You always shy away. I thought you didn’t like me!” Now you couldn’t believe your ears. 

“I thought you were just being sweet!” Jisung shook his head trying to get it on straight. 

“y/n I’m crazy about you and if we ever did anything it would be anything but casual for me.” Your brain was lagging from the weed and you were struggling to keep up with what Jisung was saying. Your filter was still not working also. 

“Why would someone as beautiful as you want to be with someone that looks like me?!” Your ex’s words still echoed in your head and came flying out of your mouth. Jisung’s face scrunched up and he turned his whole body towards you, sitting on one of his legs, letting the other dangle off the couch. 

“First off don’t say things like that. y/n not that it really matters, because you are kind, funny, and smart as fuck, and that’s enough but you’re also the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.” You shook your head and looked down at your hands in your lap feeling underserving of such feelings from such a beautiful man inside and out. 

“Jisun-” You stopped talking when he tilted your chin to look at him in the eyes. His big sparkling brown eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked as his eyes flicked down looking at your lips, his hands sliding your zip up hoodie off again. 

“Y-yes...” He pressed his lips against yours, then pulled away and looked at you. You were flushed, hot, he pressed his lips to yours again more forcefully and this time your hands rested against his jaw and neck and his cupped your face. He pecked your lips over and over again then his lips parted and his teeth nibbled and his tongue invaded your mouth, forcing a breathy moan from you. Jisung’s arms wrapped around your squishy midsection and pulled you over onto his lap as he sat with his back against the couch again, one juicy thick thigh on each side of him. You pulled away from the kiss to protest. 

“No no Ji I’m too heavy...” He grabbed hand fulls of your big ass and made you sit down on his lap completely. 

“There’s no weight limit on this ride beautiful so sit down.” You’d never heard him say anything like that before, it made you flush with arousal.  

“Ji!” He smirked and you did what he said. The moment you sat down you could feel Jisung’s hard on pushing against your clothed core. He pulled you down into another make out session as you gently moved across his lap. Both of you were still buzzing from the joint you’d smoked so you were enjoying kissing, groping, grinding. Jisung started to drag his lips down your neck, nipping and licking. 

“You’re so cute in this little crop top...” His hands traveled up it and squeezed your full breasts over your sports bra, then pulled it down freeing them. Your nipples were already hard from how worked up you were getting dry humping Jisung. He started sucking on your nipples, gently biting every now and then as you rode his clothed erection. You were a little breathless and Jisung loved the soft pants coming from you while you tugged on his hair with both hands. 

“J-Ji I’m g-gonna...” He hummed sweetly at you then let go of the nipple he was sucking on. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, cum, I want you to cum.” You held on to Jisung’s strong broad shoulders and rode him faster until you reached your peak. Jisung pulled you down into another kiss swallowing any moans coming from you as you wrapped your arms around him tightly and rode out your orgasm against his cock. You sat there for a moment to collect yourself and Jisung waited, giving you a minute, his hands gently holding your wide hips. Once you had firmly landed back on earth Jisung nuzzled his nose against yours. 

“You know you make the prettiest little faces, it's so cute when you scrunch up your nose and cum on top of me like that.” You were blushing and out of breath, you buried your face in his neck, hiding. 

“Jiiiiii...” He giggled. 

“So shy, cute. I saw how your body moved to that song, how those words affected you.”Jisung lifted your crop top off and then removed your sports bra. You sat on top of him naked from the waist up, every curve of your body intoxicating to him, your big soft tits right in his face, begging to be sucked on again but he controlled himself... for now. Jisung took his own shirt off and your mouth watered. His muscular broad shoulders, his pumped-up pecs and toned biceps. He was firm but still soft somehow, his skin smooth and warm. 

“Can I take your pants off?” Jisung asked toying with the waist band of your sweatpants. You nodded. 

“Stand up for me gorgeous.” You got up off Jisung’s lap and he drug your pants down to your ankles. You stepped out of them and he tossed them aside. You stood there and the only thing stopping Jisung from burying his face in your pussy was little cotton boy shorts with pink hearts. He stood up in front of you making you take a step back. 

“How are you so damn cute!?” One of his hands gently wrapped around your neck, his thumb softy caressing the side. 

“Do you have any idea what that does to me?” He leaned in closer and you shook your head no. 

“Makes me want to teach you how to do the dirtiest things to me, teach my sweet girl how to be bad for me. Would you like that pretty?” His hand let up off your neck and you ran your hands across Jisung’s chest and shoulders, feeling his soft skin under your fingertips. 

“Y-yes Sungie.” He cooed at you. 

“There’s my good girl.” Jisung dropped his own pants and underwear and stood in front of you, his cock firm and long. You bit your lips, it looked delicious. He cupped your face and softly pressed his lips against yours. 

“You wait right here okay? I’ll be right back! Lose the undies!” Jisung winked at you and dashed off, his cute bare ass disappearing down the hall and you giggled, taking off your panties as told. When he came back he had a condom and sat down on the couch like he had been only a few moments before only now completely naked. He patted his lap. 

“Come on now princess, sit on your throne.” You laughed shaking your head at him but climbed onto his lap again. Jisung ripped open the condom and rolled it down his cock, then held it up for you to sit on. 

“Go on jagiya show me how you take my dick.” The tip slipped into your wet hole and squeezed Jisung making him moan. 

“Ooh fuck so tight...” You slowly slid down his shaft taking more and more of him until your juicy cunt was resting on Jisung’s lap. You both sat there for a moment enjoying the feeling of Jisung, hard and full inside you. Jisung’s hands were on your hips, steadying you. He went to grab something from behind his ear and that’s when you realized he’d grabbed another joint when he’d gotten the condom. He smirked at you as he lit it. 

“Do you wanna ride me while you smoke weed?” You pushed him and giggled at his use of the lyrics but Jisung felt you clench too. He turned the joint around getting ready to put the end burning in his mouth. 

“Come on then, lean down here gorgeous...” He put the joint in his mouth backwards and you leaned down, his cock sliding inside you, your lips almost touching as you puckered yours around the other end of the joint, allowing Jisung to blow you a big shotgun. You braced yourself against Jisung’s shoulders and held it in before breathing out, your head getting that immediate hazy feeling, your body already buzzing. Jisung took the joint out of his mouth, flipped it and hit it before setting it aside. Then both of his hands were holding onto your thick hips again as he looked into your glassy eyes and smiled that big cheesy grin of his. 

“How you feeling pretty?” You held onto his shoulders, rolled your hips a little and let out a soft moan. 

“Sooo good Jisungie.” Jisung had to choke back a moan himself feeling you grind your hips against him with his cock deep inside you. 

 “Fuck, you feel good wrapped around me too. Go on ride me jagi.” You started riding Jisung as he set the pace with his hands on your hips. 

“Oh my god! Ji!” It felt so intense. Like someone took the dial on pleasure and turned it way up. One of his hands came up and his fingers wrapped around your throat gently as you continued bouncing on his cock, your big ass jiggling each time you sat on him. He gave your neck a gentle squeeze and you let out another little moan. 

“Does this make you uncomfortable?” You shook your head, the feeling of his hand around your throat was sending electricity throughout your body as you anticipated what was next. 

“N-no Jisung, it’s okay.” He nodded and added just a little pressure. 

“What if I wanted to squeeze harder?” Jisung could feel your arousal coating him. 

“You like that huh? God you’re so wet.” You nodded biting your lip. 

“Y-yes Sungie.” He squeezed just enough, not enough to restrict air but enough to add to the buzz in your head the weed had provided. 

“Good girl, keep riding me now, don’t slow down.” His other hand let go of your hip and then both of his hands were around your neck, again, not enough to prevent you breathing just enough to make your cunt throb around Jisung’s cock as you continued bouncing on it. He pulled you down by your neck face to face with him and kissed you. It was insane how tender it was in comparison. There you were riding Jisung’s dick like you were president of the porn star’s union, both his hands wrapped around your throat and he kissed you like he might break you. Jisung let go of your neck and wrapped his arms around your full body then flipped you so your back was on the couch and he was hovering over you. He lined up with your gushing plump pussy and pushed into you again. He rolled his hips and his cock hit every mind numbing spot inside you. 

“Yes! Oh fuck! Ji right there!” He rolled his hips again, harder, faster. It was like every few minutes that pleasure dial was getting turned up higher and higher. You were about to scream Jisung’s name as he hit your g spot again. 

“Ji-” His hand clamped down over your mouth as he kept fucking you, his hips thrusting into you. Your breasts jiggled when he started fucking you harder and you moaned into the hand over your mouth muffling your screams. 

“Shhhshhhshh, keep it down now jagi I’m not even fucking you hard yet.” Jisung whispered as if someone would hear him, he kissed the back his hand that was planted over your mouth firmly and gave you the most mischievous look before he started absolutely railing you. He slammed into you, rolling his hips, knowing exactly what he was doing to you because his hand clamped harder down on your mouth as you screamed for Jisung, your eyes rolling back as you came so hard the stars you saw were full on constellations.  

Jisung’s hand came up off your mouth so you could get a full breath of air as you rode the wave of ecstasy he set you on. The wave he prolonged as he continued thrusting into you slower but deep. Jisung pinched your chin between two fingers and made you look at him. He was starting to sweat, the veins on his neck becoming more prominent. He leaned forward caging you between his muscular arms and continued slowly rolling his hips as you held on to his shoulders. He kissed down your jaw and neck then hovered by your ear. 

“Pretty?” You hummed your eyes closed, your whole body felt like it was filled with bumble bees between the weed and the orgasm. 

“Can I cum in your mouth?” You nodded and Jisung looked at you to confirm. 

“Yea?” You opened your eyes, kind of, and smiled at him nodding again. 

“Yea Sungie. You can.” He was having a hard time figuring out just how you managed to look so cute all stoned and fucked out on his couch. He gave up trying and took off the condom then helped you sit up. 

“Here jagiya, use this pillow and get on your knees.” You put the pillow down then knelt on it. Leave it to Jisung, sweet even when he asks you to get on your knees for him. Jisung’s dick was in his hand, holding it out for you to wrap your lips around. You started gently sucking on the head of his cock and Jisung let out a soft moan. It sounded so sweet you wanted to hear more so you took more of his cock into your mouth. 

“F-fuck gorgeous, feels so good. Can you take a little more?” You looked up at him with his cock in your mouth, you hummed and nodded. Jisung had died and gone to heaven it’s the only way that cute face was stuffed with his cock and looking up at him. You let his tip hit the back of your throat and it gagged you. You pulled off and spit trailed from your lips to Jisung’s dick that he still held steady for you. You took him into your mouth again until he bottomed out in the back of your throat gagging you again. Jisung moaning louder as you deep throated his cock a wet squelch coming from your throat every time his tip hit the back. 

“Oh... oh fuck I’m gonna cum jagiya... I’m gon-” Jisung’s warm seed started filling your mouth, you tried to swallow fast enough but there was so much it dribbled down your chin a little. Jisung pulled out and you wiped your mouth. He made you stand and he kissed you his tongue sliding into your mouth quickly. He was worked up still, hot, already half hard again and he’d just blew a big load of cum into your mouth. 

“Bet that cunt is so wet from sucking my cock. Is it beautiful? Are you dripping?” He wasn’t wrong you were wet from blowing him mainly those moans and the soft panting.  

“Get up on the couch there, spread those thick thighs and show me that juicy pussy.” You did as you were told, your legs spread wide. 

“Spread those pussy lips too gorgeous... wanna see you tease your clit.” You started rubbing your clit softly and Jisung sat across the couch from you watching, stroking his cock. 

“That’s it two fingers... real slow, circle it.” You did as directed and Jisung kept tugging on his dick. 

“You want to watch me cum on myself while you play with your pussy?” You nodded. 

“Y-yes Ji wanna see you cum.” He hummed and focused stroking the head and twisting his wrist. 

“Spit on your fingers rub it around... fuck yes like that... now stick them inside your hole... fffffuck yes...” Jisung was jacking off fast and started tugging on his balls gently. 

“There you go jagi fuck yourself with your finger, don’t forget your clit gorgeous, use that other hand and play with it.” You started rubbing your clit with one hand as you pumped your fingers inside you with the other. Jisung was sweating, panting, blushing, he looked like he was ready to blow any time. 

“FFFFUcck! Cum for me pretty want to see you cum on your fingers, wanna see that cute scrunched up face you make when you cream for me.” You focused on rubbing your clit until you were coming and clenching around your fingers. 

“Ji Ji Ji Ji Ji...” Was all you chanted as he watched your hole contract around your fingers, your juices dripping from you. Jisung let out a strangled moan as he jerked his cock and came on himself the sight of it almost enough to make you cum again. You crawled across the couch between Jisung’s legs as he stroked his dick slowly. You leaned over and started licking his abs, slurping and savoring the cum from his perfect body until he was clean again. Jisung pulled you on top of him and you both laid there basking in your high from the sex and the weed. He huffed out a big breath wiping sweat off his forehead and looking down at you. 

“Feel better?” You giggled and nodded against his chest nuzzling in closer. 

“Yea Sungie, I’m better now.” He smiled and rested his head back on the arm of the couch, squeezing you and letting out another heavy breath. 

“Fucking... now THAT’S a verb!”  

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @jisuperboard @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle @caticorn61 @lauraneuuh @channieandhisgoonsquad @minnysproutgriffinteddy @svintsandghosts @the-sweetest-rose @alice05280 @3rachasninja @m0ri-apeuda @eastleighsblog @linoification

[dearthinkingoutloud]

 Elizabeth Miki Brina, how could you.

Speak Okinawa (Ch. 4-5)

How could you...

How could you have me crying real tears within the first two chapters I read of your book?

Our professor, the lovely Dr. Morrison, assigned the class to read a segment of her colleague's, Elizabeth Miki Brina, book called Speak Okinawa and dude... I was floored. I was so floored by the first read in fact that I already considered buying the book for myself having only read two chapters. Speak Okinawa is a memoir outlining the author's journey of understanding herself and her parents of which her father is a white American war veteran and her mother is a Okinawan "war bride" (as Google states...). Her memoir discusses in depth the multifaceted experience of being mixed race as well as having an immigrant parent and a white American parent.

We started our segment of the book at chapter 4 "Erizabesu", and already I was immediately in love with Brina's brutally honest yet lyrical writing style. In this chapter, the first story she tells is her mother picking her up from preschool. This may seem like a generic story to tell, but if you read it from the book, she describes it such deliberate detail that places you right in her 4-year old shoes. In doing so, it makes you feel the feelings that she felt in that moment. Her mother, having newly cut hair, arrives at the preschool to retrieve Elizabeth, however due to this new change, she disapproves of her mother's new hair. Brina says that they are taught from a young age that "sameness is desired", and so from then on, she wanted her mother to portray the, "White, English-Speaking, Correctly-Pronouncing, American." As a child, Brina mocks her mother's accent/pronunciation of her American name, Elizabeth, which becomes the title of the chapter "Erizabesu".

Due to her mom's struggle to assimilate into the white-American society that her father wants so badly, Brina grows increasingly resentful of her and idolizes her father growing up. In chapter 5, she details how her parents each try to show parts of their culture individually instead of both together. In fact, her mom tries to show her parts of Okinawan and other Asian cultures by bring her to her job at a Chinese restaurant where she spends time sitting around listening to them speak languages she doesn't understand. To contrast this, her father brings to classic American restaurants such as Boston Market and Burger King and makes her read and watch American media like Nick at night and Bewitched. She is also set up on playdates with other Asian kids who does not connect with and she details her mindset at the time which unfortunately had a lot of internalized racism.

This portion especially led me to tears. It brought me back to my own childhood and the racism I used to internalize. She calls herself racist names so casually and doesn't yet understand the damage that her classmates' racist comments and actions toward her will have on her self-esteem and self-image. She legitimizes this racism by saying, "I have no reason to complain... I am not feared or hated or oppressed." My heart immediately sank. Elizabeth Miki Brina described her negative self-image and want to be accepted in a such a raw and relatable technique. Through her detailed anecdotes, she places us as the readers precisely in her head and makes those of us who have experience similar things feel both uncomfortable and understood in a beautiful way. While I am not proud of how I used to talk about myself and my features (as I am certain she is not), her stories give me more room to forgive myself and understand why I felt the way I did.

and...

I ordered the book immediately after. so...

How could you, Elizabeth Miki Birna...

How could you.

♡ dearthinkingoutloud

[bottoms-movie]

SAMBUCKY FIC RECS PT. 2

The first part did really really so I decided to make a second part of sambucky fic recs. Just as the last one: the fics are split into three categories: based on tfatws, canon divergence, and au. CHECK OUT PART ONE HERE All fics are completed and all are on AO3. 

BASED ON TFATWS

The Truths Beneath Our Ribs | Mature | 6,742 words

5 times Bucky wears Sam's things +1 time Sam wears something of Bucky's

anything you can do, i’ll do you better | Explicit | 5,526 words

Steve is going to kill them if they don't learn to get along, but did they have to take it so far?

making amends | Explicit | 8,645 words

“Not Cap yet,” Sam said. He looked a little ruefully at his hands, which were covered in nicks and cuts. He could already feel his palms bruising from that last shield catch, but at least nothing was broken this time.

“I respect that,” Bucky said slowly. Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Bucky flexed and unflexed the vibranium fingers of his left hand, a nervous habit that Sam had clocked ages ago. “And you’re right.”

“Thanks, I know.” Sam waited a beat. “About what?”

Muscle Memory | 3 parts | Explicit | 13,156 words part 1: Muscle Memory | Teen | 1,766 words

Barnes sighs, and it’s a deep, soul-weary thing. “Maybe no one ever told you this, but I’m telling you right now. You don’t have any obligation to care about me because Steve did. You don’t have to pretend.”

Sam blinks, taken aback. He has to think, really think, about what he says next, because it’s - it’s either going to build or break something.

You’re My World | Explicit | 6,585 words

“I… oh, I get it now.” Sam tilted his head, perceptive as ever, goddammit. “All this flirting with my sister, that was just to get my attention, wasn’t it? I know it was. Say it.”

“That wasn’t—” Bucky croaked, but Sam wasn’t having it.

He huffed a low laugh, and bulldozed right through Bucky’s feeble pretense. “You like it when I pin you against the wall? Take away all that power you have, that strength that your arm gives you? Make you feel small, maybe?”

Call Me By Your (Pet) Name | Teen | 6,928 words

“You got a list of the nicknames available to us lesser mortals?” Sam continued, staring straight ahead at the seat in front of him. “The ‘you’re not Steve Rogers, so don’t even think about it’ collection?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a list,” Bucky replied, pausing long enough to draw a pointed look from Sam. “Bucky,” he finished, gesturing broadly with his arm to convey the obviousness of the answer.

5 times Sam and Bucky used pet names as a joke + 1 time they used them in earnest

That’s not very gunkle of you | 2 parts | 4,325 words part 1: Bestie Vibes Only | Teen | 1,822 words

“What’s buzzin’ cousin?” Says Bucky, sitting down next to Sam on the docks.

That’s the moment that Sam realizes he needs to change tactics, no more subtly looking up definitions for his weird old person slang, it’s time to fight fire with fire.

“Not much bro, this view is highkey just hitting different TBH” he says, casually looking out at the water.

There’s a beat of silence and then,

“That’s swell doll, I just ate some four-o cackle jelly with side arms, and I’m looking for some kicks, you dig?

Oh, this means war.

misunderstandings | Not Rated | 3,167 words

Sam thinks Sarah and Bucky had a date, and he's Not Okay

you walked into my life to offer me a better view | Teen | 2,534 words

He was standing twenty feet away at the edge of the docks, chatting with Sarah, and Sam couldn't take his eyes away. Bucky's smile was warm, wide, and when he tipped his head back and laughed, his nose scrunching up and eyes crinkling at the corners, Sam could feel it vibrate straight to his heart.

falling, falling, flying | Teen | 2,778 words

Bucky had kissed him.

And Sam had pulled away, because that beautiful golden sunset made Bucky’s hair gleam with the faintest touch of blond, that rare summer breeze hissed like a dying missile past Sam’s ears, the kiss was so familiar, too familiar, and Sam was falling, falling—

(“Let yourself be happy, Sam. Please.”)

lonely boy, you are my world (and i could be anything you need) | Teen | 5,747 words

It all starts with Sam, a shelter, and this sweet kitten that reminded him far too much of a certain century-old, grouchy super soldier.

too dangerous to fall | Explicit | 3,466 words

Bucky Barnes is a one-armed menace. He has murder eyes and no care for basic safety protocols. His jokes are terrible and his bad moods are worse. He’s a godawful roommate who leaves his wet towels on the floor and his combat knives in the linen cabinet. Sam can’t stand the sight of him.

What happens in Louisiana | General | 3,478 words

But just then, in the engine room of the Wilson family boat, away from prying eyes, it felt like something they both needed. The closeness. The warmth.

Steve would laugh at them. Two grown men not being able to get it together. He would roll his eyes at Buck, nudge him with his elbow and tell him “you’re sweet on Sam Wilson so make a move already, punk.”

keep the ashes from my heart (and walk away) | Explicit | 4,412 words

“Jamie asked me out on a date,” Sam says. Bucky swallows. “Took him long enough,” he says, keeping his tone light. He bumps their shoulders together for good measure. “You should go for it.” “You really think so?” Sam asks, looking at him. “Yeah, man,” Bucky says. He fixes his gaze on Torres, high up in the sky, sunlight glinting off his wings. It hurts Bucky’s eyes. He blinks, rapidly. “You should be with somebody who can make you happy.”

(In which Sam starts dating someone who is not Bucky, and Bucky pines, gets seriously injured, and proves himself wrong.)

Hey Samuel | Teen | 3,223 words

"Bucky."

"Yeah?" He looked up eyes wide. Did he say something out loud?

"We're walking the wrong way."

"Oh." Right. Um. "Let's get ice cream."

"I don't know about you, man, but if I eat ice cream in this weather I will get sick."

Bucky was at a loss for words. What now?

OR Ride along Bucky's journey of figuring out when exactly did he fall for Sam Wilson.

Anyday, everyday | General | 6,735 words

He moved his head and locked eyes with Sam. "D'you- can you.. help me cut my hair?" He asked. He forced himself to look away, feeling embarrassed for asking him to come all this way just to give him a haircut.

His stomach dropped when he felt Sam let go of his hand to stand up. Of course he was about to leave. Who wouldn't want to leave Bucky?

"C'mon, Buck. Let me cut your hair." Bucky's eyes snapped up to Sam's. He had a small smile on his face and his hand was reaching out, waiting for Bucky to take it.

Or; the five times Bucky fell more and more in love with Sam, and the one time he finally got the guts to tell him.

If You’ll Have Me | Teen | 4,779 words

Sam casually shrugged, although there was an intent look in his eyes, "Yeah, well it's getting late and I didn't feel like flying anymore so I was wondering if your old man self is okay with-"

"You can stay here." Bucky quickly finished for him.

I like Bucky, Sam I am | Not Rated | 2,653 words

"I would kiss you on the boat. Or in Wakanda by your goats."

Static in the Dark | Teen | 4,989 words

So prompt idea, some bad guy follows Bucky to the docks for revenge (over whatever you can decide) and Sarah gets to see how protective Bucky really is over Sam when he gets in the line of fire

CANON DIVERGENCE

A Different Kind of Problem | Explicit | 7,616 words

“Do you know what it feels like to be insatiable?”

Two months ago, an interrogation gone wrong left Sam with Bucky’s explicit words seared into his brain and body.

Now, Bucky is living in the Avengers Compound, making pancakes and wearing Steve’s huge sweatshirts, fluffy haired and a little shy, seemingly completely content to be on house arrest — and Sam has never been more confused. Whatever Steve thinks, Sam doesn’t have a problem with Bucky. This domesticity is just so at odds with the feral sexuality Bucky had used to rattle Sam during his interrogation. Where did that side of Bucky go? And why can’t Sam stop thinking about finding it? Maybe Sam does have a problem with Bucky… it’s just not the problem Steve thinks it is.

Bucky’s Choice | Not Rated | 4,753 words

When Bucky enters Westview to try to help Wanda Maximoff, he is confronted with something he never expected- Steve Rogers, back from the dead and ready to start a life with Bucky in Westview. It's everything that Bucky ever wanted, everything that Steve abandoned when he went back in time to live his life with Peggy Carter. But Bucky and Sam have been involved for months, and Sam is waiting for Bucky outside of the Hex. Bucky has to make a choice- the life he always wanted with Steve, or a new start with Sam?

tonight i’ll need you to stay | General | 2,227 words

For once, Bucky wants to stop leaving when things are finally looking up. And he wants people to stay with him, too.

(or, 3 times bucky needed an excuse to stay with sam, and the one time he didn't)

How to Win a Supersoldier in Ten Days | Explicit | 14,901 words

When they realize that all the Winter Soldier's interactions with Sam are just him trying to Awkward MurderBot Flirt (TM) with the sexy man, Steve, Tony, and Nat convince Sam to play the honeypot and bring Bucky in.

Sam's pretty sure the honeypot isn't supposed to fall in love with the target, but what can you do?

at the end of the war (what’s mine is yours) | Mature | 4,290 words

They don't talk about it: that's how it works.

warm blood (feels good, i can’t control it anymore) | Explicit | 4,492 words

Sam's just chilling watching TV one evening when Bucky comes in and stares at him silently for a minute or two before sitting down on the couch. He's pretty close to Sam.

Okay, he's really close to Sam. Like, Sam would be using the word 'cuddling' if it wasn't so bizarre.

"What," he says, carefully not looking at Bucky, and Bucky huffs a sigh.

"Steve's not here," he says as if it's obvious. "Don't make it weird. Just- shut up."

Caught With Their Pants Down | Explicit | 3,539 words

“Sam, this guy is not coming, the intel was false,” Bucky replied. “I get this whole ticking boxes and what not, but Rogers got it wrong, and for the love of God I need a fucking toilet.”

“You need to learn to plan your water intake better, is what you need. You’re a damn fool and I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“Because you love me,” Bucky replied, and Sam could hear the smile in his voice.

“In your damn dreams, Barnes.”

They’d been fucking for about six months, but Sam didn’t want Bucky to go getting a big head about it.

AU

sharp teeth, soft heart | 3 parts | 17,866 words part 1: you touch me within and so i (know i could be human once again) | Explicit | 12,444 words 

It’s inevitable, the way it goes. He’s my friend, Steve says, and he is, he is, he must be. Sam’s best friend is Steve, and Steve’s best friend is a werewolf, that’s just how Sam’s life works now.

But once he realizes he’s attracted to Bucky and Bucky can tell, everything becomes, like, a thousand percent more difficult to negotiate. Sam’s just trying to live his life, that’s all, and he keeps getting confronted by Bucky Barnes in a soft flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up, hair all soft and shiny. Bucky glances over at him and smirks, and this is really very embarrassing, how Sam can’t hide his attraction even if he keeps a totally straight face.

I’m so into you I can barely breathe | Explicit | 6,515 words

Sam Wilson had a long day dealing with morons, so he decided to finally go to the famous club in town. There he meets someone who just might get him back in a good mood. And then some.

twelve ounce steak (boxers in briefs) | Explicit | 3,753 words

Sam has pretty lips. Bucky seems to think so, too.

caught it bad (i’ll be on the way) | Mature | 4,830 words

Sam constantly gets roped into doing dumb things with Steve, but this time, it works out perfectly for him.

meet me in the a.m. | Teen | 3,147 words

Steve accidently starts a fire and Bucky's tired. When unbelievably hot firefighter Sam saves the day, though, he can't really be that mad.

i wanna savour, save it for later | Not Rated | 6,419 words

"It's his damn ratings, man," Sam says. "It's weird 'cause when you read the reviews, he seems to like our food and all. Nothing but praise for days. And then you get to the rating, and it's always the same. Three goddamn stars."

Bucky tips his beer bottle from side to side, lips pursing slightly. "I see. And that's… a bad thing?"

"We are not a three-star joint," Sam says flatly.

Or, the one where food truck owner Sam gets caught up in his quest to unmask an anonymous food blogger. Falling for one of his regulars was never on the menu.

we were a fire with no smoke | Explicit | 15,295 words

Sam can’t help but roll his eyes. Take the boys out of New York but they’re still Brooklyn Catholics, that’s clear enough. Bucky catches the gesture, smirks hard enough Sam can see his eye teeth. It should be dangerous but he’s beautiful, pale and charming and recklessly easy.

“You wanna come in?” Sam asks, ignoring the noise Steve makes, and Bucky’s smile gets wider.

“Yeah,” he says. Steps up close to Sam. “I do.”

my house of stone, your ivy grows | Teen | 9,042 words

When Sam Wilson inherits the manor of the old man he once took care of, it feels like his luck is finally looking up. It's an opportunity for a fresh start, something he's in desperate need of. When he arrives, however, it becomes clear that an easy transition into estate living is not exactly a possibility. The house is run-down, nothing like Sam remembers it, and the groundskeeper — who Sam apparently has to share the house with, wants nothing to do with him.

You Smiled Because You Knew | Teen | 3,754 words

"You've got the wrong address," the man who'd answered growled. He had long, scraggly hair that had mostly escaped his attempts to pull it away from his face. He had nice eyes, and wouldn't have been unattractive, especially with a shave, except for the scowl. "Nobody here wants or needs your . . . services."

It was apparent by the tone the man did not appreciate Sam's hard work.

Well, that was tough shit.

[littlemisslipbalm]

“your turn”

Harry Styles was a romantic. He hated weddings. Rori Williams was practical. She hated weddings, too. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue.

A story of two semi-strangers to lovers with weddings, drunken confessions, and girls with two names.

gif has nothing to do with it but he looks fancy and i like it :) tpwk

Hi! this is for @meetmeinfleetwood to lovers fic challenge! and it’s a little cruel of me to post it today after those wedding pics came out but i have been working on this for awhile and tomorrow’s the deadline so if it’s too soon im sorry and if its just what you need enjoy! I used prompts 12 and 15! It’s my first ofc story which is a little strange for me but i wanted to use a name for this, but besides her hair and eye color and a name she’s pretty generic,,, idk thank you all for always reading and all of that. lmk what you think and reblogs are always really appreciated

Word Count: 9.3k | Warnings: drinking, swearing, implied? smut (couldn’t bring my heart to write any my apologies), harry being a silly drunk, mentions of being afraid of someone taking advantage of someone under the influence but ofc no! actual any misconduct -- a SITCH wedding!!! so cute ::))

Harry Styles was a romantic.

He loved love songs that professed their undying love for their significant other. He loved romance movies, rom coms especially, because they were happy and in love and he got to cry and laugh all in one. He loved writing his own songs about love and he loved spreading the idea of loving and treating others with kindness. He loved first dates and the relationships that sometimes sprouted out of them. He loved reading books about love and how to make it last. He loved poetry that waxed eloquent about love. He loved love.

He hated weddings.

Well, he hadn’t always hated weddings. In the beginning, they were like every other aspect of love, he loved them. But slowly, as he kept receiving announcements of engagement and wedding invitations and he kept not sending out letters of his own, his aversion grew.

Sure, he still loved going. He still wept for the happy couples when they committed themselves to each other. He still clapped profusely and danced to the dj or live band. He still tried to enjoy it. But with weddings he had a nagging sense in the back of his head reminding him that he still hadn’t found it yet. Each of his relationships had fallen short in some way as to not lead him to this destination. So when he sat at his assigned table at these various gatherings, he held a bit of apprehension, a bit of envy, about everything going on. He knew that his smiles were all a little forced and his laugh not quite genuine. His thoughts always managed to be controlled by his green-eyed monster that he always attempted to keep locked away. But at weddings, especially when the alcohol started flowing, he had a harder time controlling it.

Seeing all his friends getting together, getting married, and having children wore on him. Wore him thin more than he ever let on to anyone but his therapist. And his therapist couldn’t seem to give him a better answer than to be patient and not give up hope.

By 2021, Harry had decided that maybe he was just meant to be alone. Love was something he could admire, but it wasn’t meant for him. He could chase it, but it would never let him have it. He was unlucky in love and by Sarah and Mitch’s wedding in the Spring, he had come to terms with it.

He had even been optimistic for it, being Mitch’s Best Man and all had gotten his hopelessly romantic heart all aflutter. He was introduced to Sarah’s Maid of Honor, Renee Williams and she had been lovely. She was 31, a little older than Harry - but age wasn’t something that deterred him, and she had worked with Sarah in Los Angeles before Harry recruited Sarah for the band. They were best of friends and Sarah had known for a long time that Renee would be her Maid of Honor.

When Harry met Renee, he was sure that she was meant to be his person. She was beautiful and hilarious, her beauty mark at the side of her lip was so utterly unique he called her a “right Marilyn”. She insisted she was not a Marilyn Monroe type at all and had laughed. Harry had charmed her with his expert flirting and claimed that just because she was a brunette didn’t mean she was a Marilyn. She had smiled and bantered through the rehearsal dinner with him at her side. He was entranced, it had to be Renee, he had been so sure of it.

When Renee had walked down the aisle just before Sarah, Harry had been sure of it. When Renee had smiled at Harry as Mitch slipped on Sarah’s wedding band, Harry had been sure of it. When he had hooked his arm around hers as they walked down the aisle and into a foyer, Harry had been sure of it. When she laughed at his jokes while they waited for their wedding party photos to be taken, Harry had been sure of it.

When Renee walked up to Harry at the reception with another man wrapped around her, Harry wasn’t so sure of it anymore.

“Harry, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Corey,” Renee smiles giddily between the two men.

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at the word ‘boyfriend’ and he swallows harshly before blinking and putting on a sweet smile. He thrusts his right hand out for Corey to shake.

“Hullo, mate,” Harry says happily.

Corey greets Harry, extending his hand to meet Harry’s with a warm smile and a “how are you”. Harry laughs boisterously and takes a sip of his champagne flute. They shake hands with a firm up and down motion.

“Planning on getting really drunk,” Harry says in response to Corey’s question. “Have a great night, you two,” he finishes and stalks off for a refill.

Renee watches him go with a little bit of a confused look on her face. She sees him tilt his head back and finish his drink before turning to face her boyfriend and peck his cheek. She mumbles to him, “He’s a really nice guy, wouldn’t stop chatting my ear off the past few days. All these people must make him antsy.”

He nods back to her, “They must.”

Harry sidles up to the open bar, discarding his empty flute and exchanging it for a much stronger drink.

“Tequila. Neat...Please.” He sighs and runs a hand through his curls that are slowly becoming less and less coiffed. His fingers slide to the collar of his shirt and tug, attempting to loosen it a little.

“Rough night already?” Someone asks from beside him.

His face turns to them and sees a smiling brunette. Her eyes are big, larger than most eyes he’s come across. They’re brown with tinges of gold and green, likely making them hazel by her standard since most people prefer saying hazel eyes to brown. Her smile is bright and clean and if Harry hadn’t already heard her speak he would assume she was American from that smile. It was perfect, too perfect - the teeth both straight and blindingly white.

He raises his eyebrows at her and thinks about his response. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving them parted, but he remains silent when the bartender hands him his tequila. Harry wraps a specifically less ringed hand tonight, he had forgone his ‘H’ and ‘S’ rings as well as the rest of them actually on his left hand. His right hand still had two: the large flashing lavender gemstone encrusted in a gold casing from Stevie Nicks on his middle finger and then a clean gold signet ring with little crosses on the sides on the adjacent ring finger. Every other finger was noticeably empty. So when he picks up the glass there is no familiar clink which draws the attention of himself.

The woman doesn’t pay any attention to his hand, she’s still waiting for him to respond to her question, as well as waiting for her other drink to be made. She was taking advantage of the two drink system and getting two for herself right now, so she didn’t have to come back until much later.

“You have no idea,” is how Harry decides to respond and then turns to leave. He forgets about the woman and sits at his assigned table for his entire drink, talking casually with the people who come to speak with him.

When he's finished, he goes back to the bar to order a second tequila. He thinks about the girl who had stared at him with her big brown eyes. How she had seen him and thought to ask how his night was when it seemed to be going to shit. And how he had blown her off with barely a glance. God, he could be such a prick. After he receives his drink, he forgets yet again and continues to drown his sorrows in the golden liquid that helps him numb the pain that he had once again missed out on his fairytale love story.

The girl Harry had run into sat in the corner of the ballroom for the majority of the night. She settled on just having that first round of drinks for herself and one glass of obligatory champagne during the toasts. Other than that, she had promised herself she wouldn’t get drunk and go off with a random stranger. This was not a wedding for that. This wedding couldn’t be for that. She just needed to keep her head low and try to have a semi-pleasant time.

When she was nursing her champagne through the toasts, the man at the bar caught her eye again. She knew who he was. He was the Best Man after all. Sarah talked about him a lot, even Renee after the past few days, but seeing him at the bar had been the first time she’d ever seen him up that close. It was strange, he was so human. So tangible in that moment. His shoulders shook with each breath he took. His fingers tapped as they waited for his drink. His green eyes blinked and darted around as he took in his surroundings and even looked at her. He simply was and it had startled her to see him in a slightly bewildered state at the bar, but again, she wasn’t one to judge.

Get through the wedding. Try to have a semi-pleasant time.

It was time for the Best Man’s speech. Renee had just given the Maid of Honor’s and now Harry was up. He stood up and wavered a little as he tried to stand up straight. The neat tequila likely makes his stance a little harder to maintain. Mitch looks up at Harry at his side and smiles fondly.

Harry raises one hand in an awkward wave while the other is planted firmly on the table.

“Hullo,” he starts, “I’m Harry and I’m the Best Man, but I’m sure you knew that already.”

The entire group of guests laugh wholeheartedly, taken by the talented young man.

“To start,” he stutters, his words slurring slightly from the alcohol he’s had, and his smile slithers into a smirk. “Let’s hear it for the bride and groom, the lovely Sarah and Mitch Jones!”

Queue the laughter again. Harry laughs too when Mitch slaps his arm playfully, he turns to look at him with a mock ‘what did I do wrong’ expression.

“I had a speech written out, took a week to write, made it nice and poetic for these two lovebirds, but it seems I’ve misplaced it,” he pats at his pockets and sighs before rubbing his forefinger at his bottom lip. “I hate weddings.”

Everyone laughs again, thinking he’s joking. Harry grimaces but it passes as a smile even though she can tell it doesn’t meet his eyes.

He rambles on for a few minutes about love and commitment, how this is just the beginning for Sarah and Mitch and everyone laughs at the appropriate times and just when he’s wrapping up, successfully stumbling through his messy mind, everyone begins to clap.

“To the happy couple…” queue applause, but she sees him say something else, it’s drowned out by the crowd cheering and clinking glasses again.

He sits back down, downing his champagne glass that’s been refilled twice already during the speeches. Mitch leans over and whispers something in Harry’s ear as he twists a hand through his hair. Harry shifts away from Mitch and gives him a look, telling Mitch that he’s fine.

The party goes on, a few more speeches, a few more glasses of champagne for Harry, a few more sighs from the girl in the back of the room.

She watches the first dance of Mitch and Sarah but once that part is over she slinks off. She’s got half a drink left and all she wants is to be alone. Tired of the party, tired of the people, tired of having to try to have a good time. The Rowland-Jones Party had rented the entire place out, so she wanders out of the main room and down a hallway until the music is a faint buzz in her ear. The air grows colder as the amount of people dwindles from over a hundred to one.

There’s a door to her right that has an intricate golden handle that she pulls down on. It opens quietly onto a similar ballroom that is slightly smaller than the one the party was going on in. It’s quiet and spacious, her steps echo as she enters on heeled feet. The clicking of her satin stilettos resonate against the linoleum. She walks to the center of the room and turns around herself, lifting her head to the light in the room. An ornate chandelier is still above her, it’s the same gold as the handle that let her in. Her eyes travel to the walls that contain swirls of gold as well, everything was encrusted in gold and splotchy vintage mirrors. It was beautiful and she saw herself in the reflection of one of those splotchy vintage mirrors and actually felt beautiful in that moment.

No one else saw her but herself and she thought she was beautiful, a fleeting thought as she watched her body move. No one to watch as her reflection swayed with her. Her lavender dress swished back and forth, the end of it brushing around her ankles. The tulle fabric climbed her torso, cinching at her waist and draping over her breasts. The sleeves fluttered over her shoulders and ended midway down her upper arm. The somewhat sheer material made her tan skin look all the more carmely in the golden light of the chandelier. Her pendant necklace was silver and glinted in the light as it sat evenly over her exposed clavicle and decolletage.

In the corner opposite of the door there was a single table with three chairs. It seemed whoever was meant to put things away had grown tired and left these out. She wasn’t complaining as she crossed the floor to take a seat. It was the perfect escape. It was quiet and not too cold in the room, which was especially nice since she had left her jacket in the coat room. What wasn’t so nice is that her phone had died and she had nothing to do in the room. It wasn’t horrible though, she had wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She just feared what would happen if she sat alone too long with no escape of the internet to drown those thoughts.

That contemplation was squashed with an unwitting solution not ten minutes later. She had been sitting at the table, sipping her drink occasionally and staring at the chandelier. Sighing with content that it was finally silent beside the clink of her melting ice cubes. The house mixed drink was strong, but with each passing second it grew more and more diluted. She considered herself completely sober.

She only questioned that when she noticed a second person in the room. She hadn’t heard them open the door, but she heard their loud footsteps shortly after.

He all but stumbled in and was entranced by the chandelier like she had been. He walks to the center in a similar fashion and twists around, only this time his balance isn’t as good as hers. He ends up on his ass, legs splayed in front of him and hands behind him only cushioning his fall a little. He lets out a huff, “Fuck.” He runs a hand over his face before bringing it down to look around the room again. His eyes are foggy with alcohol, everything hazy and slightly blurry. It feels like he’s moving with superspeed but as she watches him with a tilted head she wonders why he’s moving so slowly.  

He squints while looking around after a moment, running a hand through his thoroughly tousled hair. His tongue comes to wet his lips, but this time it's for a touch too long like he’s genuinely tasting the liquor on them. She raises her brows, observing him, her presence seemingly unknown.

“Oi, you!” He slurs the words and points lazily at her reclined in her chair. “Are you real?”

She half smiles and replies with a simple ‘yes’.

“I like your dress,” he says merely like he was stating a fact rather than giving a compliment. His hair falling into his eyes again despite him just pushing it back.

“Thanks.”

He makes his way to standing, his process rather ungraceful. He twists onto his hands and knees and begins to push himself up. He slips once before making it to full standing, he sways slightly and looks around again like he’s forgotten why he stood up. His eyes land on her again and he decides to make his way over to the table.

“You should probably sit,” she says, watching him splay his arms around him to keep his balance. She had seen him an hour and a half ago and he seemed fine, but now he seemed absolutely and utterly pissed.

“Thanks, mum,” he says as he thunks into the seat beside her, his hand waving off her suggestion.

Her brows raise at the slightly rude comment, but she leans back in her seat still observing him.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She asks once he’s settled and has his head propped up with one of his hands. She takes a sip of her drink as she watches him scan her face again, trying to see if he recognizes her.

His mind must come up empty, a vague memory of the bar slipping away without a second thought.

“It was a joke,” he shrugs.

“No it wasn’t,” she replies easily.

His eyes narrow and he leans forward a little shakily, “Who are you?”

“Aurora.” She licks at her own lips, a stray bit of liquid lingering on her lips.

“That’s a Disney princess name,” he says, unconvinced, how most drunk people were when you told them the truth.

“And my great-grandmother’s and mine,” she responds, a grin playing on her lips as she watches him think it over. “It’s wild how multiple people can have the same name. Did you know people can share a last name as well?”

He leans back in his chair now, unhappy with her snarky response.

“Isn’t that why we’re here, two people joining together and sharing the same last name now?” He threads his fingers as he speaks, mimicking something coming together.

“Yep,” She perks at the question he poses. “You still didn’t answer my question.” Her brows raise once playfully.

“What?” Harry seemed to have lost the plot, his fuzzy drunken brain choosing to forget the first thing she asked him while in this private ballroom of theirs.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She repeats, louder and with emphasis, the words echoing this time.

“Oh,” he looks up to the ceiling and blows air past his lips harshly, “S’ a long story.”

“We got all night,” she offers, and raises her glass to her lips once again.

“A night wouldn’t even cover half of it,” he ponders seriously, his mind reeling. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“Why me?”  She laughs like she’s just received the most delightful surprise.

“Because,” He starts and then sits quiet for a moment before leaning forward, elbows on the table as he peers at her, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“You only just met me,” she responds. “Not to mention, you’re drunk as fuck, Best Man. Just minutes ago I watched you stumble in here and truly fall on your ass.”

“Then tell me about yourself and I’ll explain my hatred for weddings.”

“You’re awfully good at bargaining for being this inebriated.”

“I never lose my charm, no matter how pissed I may be,” he smirks and gives a sloppy wink, hair falling in his face yet again.

She scoffs, but she is rather amused and intrigued by the man beside her. His tie now completely loosened, hair falling every which way, and his green eyes set on her. The shiny shoes he wore slipped around on the ground as he shuffled his feet below him like a child wanting to go play. She figured it was just his drunk brain trying to amuse himself or something. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue. She at least had to entertain the foolish notion that maybe he actually was interested in getting to know her. If anything, it would help pass the time until she could go home.

“I’ll bite,” she relents.

The smirk doesn’t leave his face, it only widens, “Only if I can, too.”

“I wasn’t saying-”

“Shush, sh-sh-shush. I know that,” he holds a hand up at her, trying to get her to be quiet. He sways again, even in his seat he looks as if he could fall over at any moment. She wondered if he might not remember this tomorrow. “I was bein’...” he licks his lips in a pause, “suggestive.”

She laughs again, knowing his sober brain probably would have chosen a more articulate and suave word since ‘suggestive’ was rather tactless and more straight to the point. If she learned anything from all the conversations she overhead about him, Harry was definitely one for tact.

“You were something, that’s for sure,” she wraps a hand around Harry’s wrist, she draws the hand down from its hovering state and lays it against the table again. She withdraws her own hand back to her glass, her drink almost completely gone now.

He smiles, pleased with himself, but unaware that his charms had worn off with his exorbitant amount of alcohol consumed. At least on this girl they weren’t working. She had never been attracted to people who were too drunk to help themselves and she always hoped that’s how others felt too. She was thankful he had stumbled in on her rather than someone who didn’t feel the same way. It made her sick to think of what someone with evil intentions might do if they came across a babbling drunken version of Harry. Pushing those thoughts away since that wasn’t the case, she decided to pat his hand once just in reassurance to herself and him that this was really happening.

“I’m twenty-five.” She states.

Harry nods, a small smile on his lips now rather than a smirk as he watches her again. He liked how smoothly she moved rather than the rest of the world in his drunken eyes, everything else was choppy and fast. She was elegant and fluid, calming even.

“I love love,” Harry says, eyes remaining on hers, no trace of a joke in his tone, “And it hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” she squints at him, a frown gracing her face for a moment at the sadness she sees in his watery eyes. Not crying watery, just watery from his drunken state.

He says nothing, waiting for her to offer more information about herself before he says anything else. This was the deal after all. She quickly realizes why he isn’t responding and sighs, conversation with drunks was tedious already, but Harry seemed determined to make it even harder.

“I’m from California.”

“They always are,” Harry mutters to himself. He ignores her hum of a question, asking what he just said with a simple sound. “All my friends, they’re either getting married or they’re already married and got kids on the way or whatever. They all found love and I’m just here with fuck all.”

She sincerely doubts what the drunken man is telling her right now, but she knows how to play the game now to get more information. “I hate my job,” she states.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed, like I fucked up one too many times and now I’m doomed to never find love.”

Her eyes widen at this, he sounds so damn sad and she wishes she could take his pain away. She knew what a good guy and she couldn’t imagine why he would deserve to feel this way. No one deserved to feel like they weren’t worthy of love. His sad state truly almost brought her to tears. She’s there in a stunned silence and Harry is confused why she hasn’t said anything more about herself. It was her turn.

“What’s something else about you?” He asks, his hand fiddling with itself on the table. She notices once again that there aren’t as many rings on his fingers as what she thought was usual.

She licks her lips and reaches her hand forward. She grasps Harry’s fiddling hand and stops his movement. “I feel sorry that you feel this way, no one deserves the kind of pain you’re inflicting on yourself. I’m very very sorry for you, Harry.”

“That’s not really…” He trails off, losing his focus on her face and instead looking at their hands touching. The feeling is so intense in his buzzing body. Her touch was so calming compared to the electric feeling in his body. It felt nice.

“Can I ask you a different question and then I’ll tell you something no one knows about me?”

He nods eagerly.

“And you can’t dodge the question, you really have to answer it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What did you say at the end of your speech? It got drowned out by applause, but I saw you say something.”

“You noticed?” He asks kind of surprised, then scratches at his eyebrow. He sees her slight glare and knows to get to his answer. “Asked when it’d be my turn…like to fall in love, y’know.”

She sighs, saddened yet again by his words. “Okay, well, here’s my secret... I hate weddings, too.”

Harry’s eyes light up, maybe he really was in love. She purses her lips and pulls back from him.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” he breathes out, again making a false confession. His drunken brain wants it to be true. He’s desperate for his search to be over, for her to be his person.

She smiles that same sad smile that she keeps getting when he says these sad things to her.

“I assure you, I am not, Best Man.”

He looks at her confusedly. She was beautiful, she was clarity to him. Her brown hair was straight with a little wave in it, like it was straightened for the occasion but never truly that way otherwise. It flowed around her head and shoulders, but she had it tucked behind both ears. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone, she just simply was beautiful. Her sun tanned skin looked soft under the golden glow and Harry was sure she was an angel or something.

“Why not?” He insists, leaning forward.

She stands up from her seat. He follows clumsily behind her, standing as well. He was still taller than her even in her high heels. He smiled like a lovesick child down at her, his eyes as big as the moon. She bites at her lip as she sees him look at her so lovingly, so misguidedly. Then she leans up towards his face, up on her tiptoes and past his lips. Her hands hold him straight with them curled in his suit’s lapels. She presses a sweet and gentle kiss to his cheek, closer to his jaw than anything.

“Good night, Harry,” she whispers against his skin before pulling away.

His eyes flutter open, his looks at her confusedly, slightly unaware that he had closed his eyes at all.

“Good night…” He had already forgotten her name, something with an A...or was it an O? He’d have to ask Sarah and Mitch about the girl who had talked to him in the empty golden ballroom, the girl he had fallen in love with. He was certain. She was the one - if only he could find out her name. If he remembered this at all or if he just thought it was a dream.

She leaves the room before him and as she leaves she wonders if she maybe should have made sure he was alright, but she figured their talk was sobering enough. The night was ending and she had a sneaking suspicion that there were plenty of people here tonight looking out for him.

-

Harry forgot about the girl in the ballroom. Or at least he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. He had woken up at Tom’s place where he had said he would stay after the wedding reception so he hadn’t gone home with a girl. He couldn’t remember her name so he couldn’t really ask anyone about her and he didn’t exactly have a lot of people he could ask. He wanted to ask Sarah and Mitch, but they were already off on their honeymoon and he was one of those people who would never bother a couple on their honeymoon. He was too embarrassed to ask Renee and anyone else for that matter.

So, instead, he forgot. Harry forgot about her for three weeks until Sarah and Mitch returned. He had called them for a hike and lunch the moment their plane had landed. He had missed some of his best friends. It was a lull in the year, where he wasn’t touring or in the studio, just living and writing when he felt like it. So maybe he was in need of some inspiration.

“Ah! The Jones’!” He exclaims as he walks up to their parked car at the head of the trail.

Sarah laughs and Mitch rolls his eyes, half-heartedly since he’s just as happy to see Harry as Harry is to see him.

“I missed you,” Mitch says as he brings Harry in for a hug.

“Don’t let the missus hear that,” Harry tuts while he sends a wink over Mitch’s shoulder to Sarah.

“It’s all he could talk about for the past few weeks,” Sarah jokes as she goes in for a hug with Harry. “How do you think Harry is? Hope he’s eating? I miss Harry.” She mimics Mitch’s voice.

Mitch shakes his head shyly, a smile spreading on his face after a moment. “That. Is not true at all,” he assures Harry, “But you do look a little thinner. What have you been eating?”

Harry elbows him with a grin, “I’m fine. Been bored so I’ve just been filling the time with working out.”

They start their ascent up the hill and into the canyon. Mitch nods, his worry for his friend subsiding momentarily before he says something strange.

“I’ve been wanting to ask, but you’ve been gone, about a girl at the wedding.”

“Oh?” Sarah gives Mitch a knowing look.

“Yeah, well the thing is, I’m not sure if she was real or not. I think she was real, but I was so drunk, there’s so many bits missing in my memory.”

Sarah and Mitch both laugh. “You were very drunk, H,” Mitch confirms.

Harry ignores him, “I even asked her if she was real and she said yes, but y’know people can lie in dreams. All I remember is she was amazing and she had a princess name, I think.”

Sarah thinks about the guest list. “No princess names that I can think of. What did she look like?”

Harry squints ahead of them, his sunglasses pushing his curls back on the top of his head. “She had straight brown hair, not long or short. She said she was, uh, twenty-five. She was in lavender, I think.”

“You think a lot,” Mitch interjects which earns him a glare from Harry.

Harry thinks about this part that he remembered vividly, how she had been so confident that he wasn’t. He adds, “...And I told her I was in love with her.”

“Oh god, Harry,” Sarah sighs.

Mitch gives Harry an apologetic smile.

“She didn’t buy it, but she didn’t run off either. We talked for awhile.”

“Maybe it was a dream,” Sarah says.

“Okay, let’s see,” Mitch grows to be the leader of the investigation, wanting everything for his best friend to find the love he knew he deserved. “Twenty-five year old brunettes at our wedding who are single. C’mon there weren't that many people there.”

Sarah thinks about it again. “Renee’s sister is twenty-five. I don’t remember what she was wearing, I hardly saw her all night,” she pauses, “Which is strange since she wasn’t on the job for once.”

“What do you mean ‘on the job’?” Harry asks curiously, remembering his girl saying she hated her job.”

“She’s a wedding planner,” Sarah says, glancing at him because she was almost sure that Renee’s sister was not who Harry was talking about. “But she had referred me to someone else for the wedding, she consulted sometimes and got us a discount, but said she didn’t like working with people she knew personally.”

Harry nodded, how could Renee’s sister be his girl? How could a wedding planner hate weddings? And wouldn’t it be all the more awkward if the girl was Renee’s sister? Renee’s little sister, could it be? He had no clue.

“I don’t think it’s her, though,” Sarah gives a half-smile, “She’s not super...uh, how do I say this?”

As Sarah says “touchy-feely,” Mitch interjects.

“She’s pretty cold-hearted. She’s relatively nice, but what makes her such a good wedding planner is she doesn’t get caught up in the sentimentality of it, she just understands other people’s emotions and knows how to make them feel amazing.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Sarah looks at Mitch with a strong glare. After all, he was talking about her best friend’s little sister.

“Well, what’s her name?” Harry insists, semi-off put, but knowing her secret made him think it was possible for Renee’s sister and his ballroom girl to be the very same.

“Rori Williams, think it’s short for something else, but I don’t know, as long as I’ve known her she goes by Rori.” Sarah gives Harry a sad smile and it reminds him of his mystery girl.

“Do you think I could meet her or something? I just want to know if it’s her.” Harry says as they reach the first peak on their hike. He looks out at the view from there, Los Angeles was green for once, but he knew it would quickly fade to brown and tan as the spring plants died off again from the summer heat.

“Pretty sure she’s off working on some destination wedding right now. She doesn’t like being bothered when she’s working,” Sarah gives Harry a look for two reasons as she says that. One, because she knows his next question would be to contact her anyway. And two, she’s saying how he is exactly the same, hates being contacted when he’s busy with work. “I can text Renee to see what’s up.”

Harry nods, “Please…” He begins to imagine Rori as his ballroom girl and mutters to himself, “A June Wedding…” getting lost in a silly little daydream.

-

“Harry Styles is asking after you,” Renee snickers over the cellphone line.

“What is this? The 1800s?” Rori sighs, as she holds the phone to her ear with her shoulder. She tries to brush her hair from her face with a flick of her head, which makes for a rather silly sight as her head and shoulder move awkwardly. “People don’t ‘ask after’ anyone anymore.”

She was in Hawaii, Maui specifically, steaming a sneaky last crinkle out of the latest bride’s wedding veil.

“Well, he still is doing it. You know how he is.”

“I actually don’t,” Rori responds, easily, ignoring the memories of her two encounters with him. “What does he want?”

“Wants to meet you or something,” Renee says easily. “Thinks he met you at Sarah’s wedding, obviously impossible since I know you scampered off half way through the reception and he was falling down drunk at the half way marker as well…” she trails off.

Rori knows her sister well and expects the next thing to come out of Renee’s mouth.

“Oh my god! Did you hook up with him?!”

Expecting this, Rori responds quickly and calmly, “No, we did not hook up, I would never... I did watch him fall on his ass, though.”

“So it was you!”

“What was me?” Rori squints her eyes at her sister over the phone and finally straightens from her steaming task. She feels like she’s only half paying attention to the conversation, especially since she had no intention of meeting up with Harry. He had been so sweet and sad, and she truly wished him the best, but she knew she wasn’t the answer to his problem.

“You!” Renee all but yells into the phone, “Are his dream girl! He’s been wondering if you were even real for weeks.”

“I’m real,” Rori sighs and crosses the room she’s in to sit at the desk she was using as a work space. She flicks through the planner she was using for the Hearst wedding, set to take place tomorrow. “But I’m certainly not his dream girl...I told him that when he said he was in love with me.”

“He what?!” Renee exclaims and hears her sister sigh once again, she knows Rori is growing tired of the conversation and is ready to offer an excuse to hang up any moment now. “Nevermind that, I’m going to tell Sarah to give him your number and the date you get back to Los Angeles. Keep next weekend clear.”

Before Rori can open her strawberry pink lips to reply, Renee is squealing a goodbye and hanging up. She felt her shoulders sag with the empty line, she reclined into the nicely plush swivel chair. This is why she stayed out of love and relationships when they didn’t relate to work, they were exhausting. Too much ‘he said, she said’ going on at all times. Color palettes, seating arrangements and menus were simple, they made sense, they could be arranged and put into place. Relationships were messy, the actual event of a wedding could even be messy, but when she planned them out, for a single moment everything was orderly and simple. She was in control. She knew she couldn’t be Harry’s dream girl because she knew she couldn’t control that situation.

-

Upon arriving back in the continental United States, at the end of June, Rori ubered immediately to her apartment in Silverlake. Well, it was a converted garage behind a house of a friend of Renee’s. Like most apartments in Los Angeles, it was funky, but it was Rori’s until she decided where she wanted to move. She never wanted to buy in LA and she never wanted to upgrade from the place she had called home for the past four years.

Almost immediately after dropping her pink work tote bag and worn backpack on the floor next to her medium sized navy suitcase, her phone rang through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ setting with an unknown number. A New York number. Possibly a new client, she picks up quickly and shuts the window-paned door behind her. The days were long, the longest day of the year had almost arrived, yet the sun was still beginning to set in the sky and turn the light blue into a painting of oranges pinks and purples.

“Hello?”

“Is Rori Williams there?” A British voice asks, almost timidly.

“Who’s asking?”

“...Harry.”

“I was told you’d be calling or something along those lines,” she smiles to herself.

Harry sat in his room, chewing at his lip, still unsure if the voice on the other side of the phone call was the woman he had talked to previously.

“Can we go for a drink sometime? How’s tomorrow?”

“Someone is quite enthusiastic.”

“It’s just...I’m trying to figure something out.”

“So I’ve heard,” she chuckles slightly.

“So you won’t tell me whether you’re the girl I talked to at Sarah and Mitch’s wedding will you?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“So it’s a right Cinderella, if the shoe fits situation,” he mumbles, slightly to himself, but she hears him clearly.

She laughs.

“I don’t really care for Cinderella, I’m not really one for Disney princesses at all, actually.”

His breath catches, a foggy memory of something having to do with princesses tries to break into his mind. He couldn’t remember still and he vowed time and time again that he would never get that drunk again. Too much time lost.

“Alright, Harry. I’ve just gotten home from a work trip so I’m planning on a bath, some wine, and some terribly raunchy TV to get my mind off of my life. How about you pick a time and a place for drinks and hopefully I will show up? Great! Goodnight.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, just clicks the red button that hangs up the phone and goes on with her professed plans. Harry sits in stunned silence for a few moments, whatever he had gotten himself into was going to be a ride of a lifetime.

-

At a quarter past six, Harry sits anxiously at the bar top of a semi casual, semi fancy, totally cool bar he loved. It was private so he wouldn’t be bombarded with people, but it was still lively enough that it wouldn’t be dead silent if conversation lulled between him and Rori. That is, if she showed up.

His foot begins to tap, ever so persistently against the silver footrest at the bottom of the bar. His eyes shift from right to left, not wanting to order a drink before she arrives, but also not wanting to wait much longer and not order a drink. He’d waived off the bartender twice already.

She walks in, right on time, Harry had just arrived early. Her lips part into a happy smile at his anxious stance at the bar, he mirrors her expression at the sight of her.

She’s wearing a billowy white button down, the sleeves cinching perfectly at her petite wrists, cinched beneath a brown corset-like tank top. Her breasts showed their true size today in this outfit. She had the collar pulled out and the corset made it so that her cleavage was perfectly sculpted just beneath the crisp white cloth. Her pants were sleek and black, understated to draw more of a focus to her top as well as the lavender jewel inlaid pendant hanging just above the swells of her breast. Harry’s eyes dipped to that level for a moment, but quickly recovered to focus on her face. The night of the wedding had been blurry, but he was sure Rori’s face was the one of his mystery girl.

He’s shy tonight and a little more reserved than last time. He’s out of his comfortable bubble, what could anyone expect from a man so constantly watched. He fidgets with the top most button of his shirt that was buttoned and thinks about unbuttoning it to reveal a little more of his chest, but he refrains. At a friend’s wedding he feels safe, but in public he’s always watching, always aware of the possible prying eye. But like he had said drunkenly to Rori, he always maintained his charm, no matter the circumstances.

“Lavender was gorgeous on you, but this…” he gives a graceful sweep of his hand to gesture at her outfit tonight, “is extremely enchanting.”

“So you remember me in lavender? I thought you couldn’t remember me at all.” She grins as she stands directly beside him, similar to the first time they had chatted at a bartop.

Harry clears his throat at her tease, “I knew once I laid eyes on you, I would know. So now I know.”

She smirks at his reasoning and orders a vodka cranberry, both not wanting to get off her ass or look any certain way. Vodka cranberries were acceptable mature drinks, but not overly pretentious in any way. Harry tells the bartender to make it two. She looks at him with a discerning eye.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” She asks as she slides into the bar seat that seems to be trying to look vintage but was likely made no less than five years ago.

Harry sits too, more easily since his legs are longer than hers. “We met in the ballroom for the first time, did we not?”

“No...we met at the bar in the reception room.” Her hand splays to feel the stone of this counter, cold unlike the wood of the previous one. “We were about this close after you’d rudely stepped ahead of me and ordered before I could...not that you noticed. I asked if you were having a rough night and you pretty much dismissed me.” She bites her lip as she tells him the story, her eyes widen as she watches the distress roll over his features at what she says.

“Oh god,” One of his hands reaches to grab her hand to emphasize his apology, “I’m so sorry, that’s so rude. I was having quite a rough night as you would eventually see.”

He stares at her face, trying to meet her eyes, but she’s glued to the sight of their hands intertwined. He was so smooth and it was making her melt, making the walls she had purposefully put up for this date weak. She had rules, especially for guys like Harry - not that there was anyone that compared to him in her life, but she had them and she knew she couldn’t just be swept off her feet by his sweet voice and gorgeous face that has the most puppy-dog look on it.

She knows she shouldn’t but the extra ice she had added to her personality melts away, her eyes going slightly moony as she watches him visibly relax again. “No worries, I enjoyed your company upon the second meeting, even if you didn’t even remember my name after it.”

“Well,” he finally catches her eye, “That’s where I have a bit of a bone to pick.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t tell me your real name...gave me some fake name I can’t even remember, but it certainly wasn’t…” His eyes shift to her pendant again and he looks back at her brassy eyes in the bar’s lighting. “If your name is Rori Williams, why is your pendant an ‘A’?” He says slowly, another foggy memory trying to break the surface of his knowledge but still failing.

She finally feels in control of the situation, calm and assured of herself, which was maybe unfair since it seemed Harry really had a hard time remembering that night and she could really fuck with him if she wanted to, but she wouldn’t - couldn’t - with those earnest eyes looking at her.

“I told you my real name the first time we talked, Harry. It’s Aurora,” she retracts her hand from beneath his grasp and touches at the necklace, “I go by Rori both socially and professionally, but officially it’s Aurora and this had been my great-grandmother’s. I don’t go anywhere without it.”

“Almost as beautiful as its wearer,” he smirks, his gaze stuck on her face, attempting to convey something specific. She thinks she knows what he’s saying with his look.

“You’re quite the flirt,” she rolls her eyes playfully before specifically choosing to take a sip of her drink through the little straw the bartender had put in it. It draws Harry’s attention to her lips, and after a moment they were wet with a bit of excess vodka cranberry and Harry felt himself grow a little hot at the tips of his ears when her eyes meet with his. She had caught him staring, but he recovers easily.

“I remember telling you I never lose my charm, it’s true is it not?” Harry inquires, head leaning closer to her as he takes a sip of his own drink, making a show to lick his lips after removing them from the edge of the lowball glass.

Her laughter is loud but not overbearing, Harry thinks it’s the best laugh he’s ever heard even if she’s laughing at him. She’s true in that laugh, she’s not trying to make him fall for her with that laugh, it’s just her enjoying herself.

She responds with something sweet and the two begin the back and forth of a successful date. They both drink around three drinks as the night persists, but it’s enough for her to feel the burning pull inside the pit of her belly for Harry. His hands stay relatively to himself besides a few subtle touches at her hair and hands every so often, his feet are the ones to blame. At one point in the night, he hooks his loafer covered foot around her ankle and she is quick to lean into it, reciprocating the footsie with ease. Each brush of his leg against hers is electrifying, every nerve in her body was beginning to go crazy. She was buzzing in a way that she hadn’t when she had first encountered Harry. Tonight he was more suave, but with a tinge of timidness that made him irresistible.

Harry made sure he wouldn’t get drunk tonight, ordering only as much as Rori. He didn’t want to be the fool who couldn’t remember their time together, again. Plus, he didn’t want to forget any of their time together, he wanted to remember it all. Everything about her was amazing, the feeling he had about her, the nagging desire to meet her was for a reason, he was sure of it. If her voice was a melody, then she was the most beautiful love song he had ever heard.

At 11:30, he leans in close to Rori, his nose brushing at the hair tucked at her ear and asks her if she wants to leave. She looks at him confused, the warm feeling in her stomach falls because she thinks he wants to end the night.

“Oh,” she says dejected, she swore it was going well. “Right..That’s it.”

Harry’s brows crinkle at her sad face.

“No, love, I was saying,” he raises his brows, “Y’know.”

“Oh! Right! You just sounded so...I don’t know, serious.” She sinks in her seat, realizing her presumptions had been wrong.

“I was trying to be,” he twists his lips trying to find the word, as blush rises on his cheeks. “Seductive.”

The two of them are quickly realizing they can’t pretend with each other. Rori can’t keep up the harsh facade against love with him, he sees right through it. Harry can’t play his old tricks with her, she sees right through them.

She laughs again, “Well, it just sounded like you were bored. Sometimes your moves fall really flat.” She offers a sweet wink in consolation for his failed attempt at trying to really get her weak in the knees.

They were a lovesick mess together as they clambered off their bar seats and exit the bar that had gotten increasingly loud.

“So what’s next?” She asks on the warm summer night.

He steps closer and takes the liberty of fiddling with the strap of the corset she has on. His head is tilted down as he towers over her. “You know me Rori, I’m a hopeless romantic so I desperately want to take you out for dinner sometime and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but,” his breath fans over her face now as he shifts impossibly closer, “I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me. Just tell me what you’d prefer and it’s all yours.”

Her breathing has become a slight pant as his words wash over her. His nose brushes over the ridge of hers and she takes the moment to put her hands on his shoulders and pull him onto her. They were in the alleyway beside the bar, away from prying eyes except a few people too drunk to recognize Harry's face that is all but hidden in Rori.

“Harry,” she breathes, her eyes fluttering shut as she makes the decision to cross them into the point of no return. She wants this too much. She hadn’t thought this would be how her night would go, thought she would brush him off and never see him again, but god, she needed his warm body everywhere. Needed him to touch every part of her.

“Rori,” he responds.

“I want the second one first,” she whispers, feeling a little too eager, but feeling Harry press excitedly against her reassures her.

His lips press a searing kiss to her and she makes a sound of happiness at the contact. Her hands fist at the fabric of his shirt as she presses her lips feverishly back onto his. Harry’s quick to grip at the back of her neck and the small of her back, keeping her tight to him as he licks into her mouth.

“Can still taste that last vodka cran,” he notes before kissing her again.

Their tongues rub against each other, sloppily but with a tenderness hidden there as well. She snorts at his words which makes him smile and they’re kissing is becoming more silly as they try to contain their laughter. He pulls away, finally giving up trying to maintain the kiss while they both laughed.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Harry asks as he leans his forehead against hers.

Rori’s eyes flicker open and stare into his, the focus only on his eyes and the sprinkle of light freckles and beauty marks below them. She nods her head, making his move with it. They both smile, trying to contain their laughter once more.

She presses her lips against his once more for a small peck and then lowers her head into the crook of his neck. The skin warm and smooth against hers as she whispers happily to him.

“It’s your turn now, Harry,” Rori says blissfully.

She had been the answer to all his questions.

-

[elsewhereuniversity]

The scholarship letter came in the normal mail. I don’t know why that felt weird to me; I mean, what else I was expecting? An owl? This wasn’t Harry Potter. It wasn’t the most generous offer I’d gotten, but I liked the look of the campus from the brochure. When I went on the tour, it felt like coming home.

Even the iron washer on a lanyard felt familiar. I didn’t take it off, even at home.

—

“Yeah Mom, you have to put my student ID number on my mail instead of my name. Yeah, some weird thing with their sorting system. Can you make sure Grandma knows too? Th- I appreciate it. Love you too.”

—

“Honestly, they charge us so much for the meal plan, I don’t feel bad for nicking the creamers and salt packets from the dining hall. Anyway, I just love the rhythm of old superstitions, so it’s nice that the attendants look the other way anyway.”

—

“Practicing my poetry for the crows just feels right, you know? I’ve always liked being outside and if the crows judge, at least they usually don’t tell me that my meter is off even when it’s not, Dave from ENG 202. Plus, I shine some pennies up with that vinegar and salt trick and they like when I offer those up.”

—

“Revels? You mean like… frat parties? Yeah, I’ve been to a few. They were fun, but not a lot like college in the movies.” A pause to laugh. “Yeah, people here do shit like actually dance, like with steps and everything. And some of the makeup games around here are so on point, I’m pretty sure the theater effects department is getting their friends to sit for experiments and then sending them to the revels. Seriously, the scales on that one kid were so realistic. Oh yeah, I do have a couple of salt packets, forgot those were even in my pockets. Why, do you need some?”

—

“Don’t walk by that tree after dark, the one on the hill… I don’t know, it just spooks me. I think some creep hangs out there or something, because it always feels like someone’s watching me when there’s shadows… It’s just basic campus safety, since the streetlights there are always burnt out. No need to bring magic into it.”

—

I stared at the speckled grey and white fur in the back of my roommate’s side of the closet where I had been digging for the shoes I’d lent her for the Spring Revel. Her new boyfriend had seemed familiar in a way that tasted like salt on the back of my tongue. Now I guess I knew why.

“Don’t admit to knowing,” my Nana had said when I called to tell her where I was going to school. She never had to be reminded to call me by my safe name and all of her care packages were littered with iron nails. But I couldn’t just turn away from the way my heart called out to this.

Carefully, I slid the skin into a plastic bag and then into my backpack, wincing a little at the indignity. I didn’t want him to have to run around campus with it in his arms though. Rubix had just complained this morning about Harbor spending most of today in the library, so at least I knew where to head.

It didn’t take long to spot Harbor, in a corner table, surrounded by a few members of the swim team with his head in his hands.

“-have to drop off the team, I can’t get in the pool anymore without-” He broke off as I slid into the seat across from him.

“Hey, Harbor. I think you dropped your coat the last time you were in our room,” I told him lightly, pulling the plastic bag out of my backpack. The eyes of every swim team member there widened in a way that would have been comical if I hadn’t known why. “Rubix was busy, so I thought I’d return it to you.”

Harbor’s hands were shaky as he slid the bag towards him and into his lap. “What do I owe-”

I waved a hand, smiling at the group. “Oh, it’s fine, I’m not asking anything for this. After all, it’s not such a big deal to return things for your roommate’s ex.”

The smiles that went around the table were sharp, and they stood almost as one to leave. A hand on Harbor’s arm stopped him and he turned back with eyebrows raised.

“I don’t Know anything, of course, but-” I hesitated. “An uncommon number of people in my family have drowned, but the sea feels more like home than anything.”

Harbor nodded, his freckled face splitting in a smile. “You’re always welcome at swim team practices, or at our parties.” His tone shifted so it was carefully bland and casual. “It’s so odd, but whatever EU uses to clean the pool tastes just like salt.”

I returned his smile and let go of his arm so he could run after his friends. When I came home to an empty room that night, I remembered the feel of my Nana’s fur coat (still in her own possession, unlike some of my other ancestors) and wondered if I had any cousins on the swim team.

x

[n1kolaiz]

THE GREAT FITZGERALD

thank u @dazaistabletop for getting me so interested in Fitzgerald's character. ur my favourite Fitz kinnie ok mwah( ˘ ³˘)♥

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald's novel— The Great Gatsby— was a love story that involved Jay Gatsby, whose mannerisms and characteristics appear to be quite similar to Fitzgerald in the Bungou Stray Dogs adaptation. I just finished reading The Great Gatsby so I thought I'd just make a comparison between the main protagonist of the novel and the main antagonist in BSD's Guild Arc.

Other than the fact that both Jay and Fitzgerald share similar character traits (ambitious, arrogant, and optimistic) the relationships Jay had with the other characters of the novel and the interactions that Fitzgerald had with the other characters of BSD are quite similar, too. I'll focus on three specific associations that both Fitzgerald and Jay experienced in a parallel manner:

Zelda Fitzgerald and Daisy Buchanan

Tom Buchanan

Louisa May Alcott and Nick Carraway

SPOILERS FOR THE GREAT GATSBY!

in case anyone hasn't read it but wants to :)

To avoid confusion, every time I mention Fitzgerald from here on out, I mean the character from BSD; I will specify my references if it comes to the author.

The Great Gatsby had its plot set around the time of the Roaring Twenties: the aftermath of World War I, the peak of socialite culture, and the growth of a prosperous economy and general wealth altogether.

The Roaring Twenties was also a time of luxurious pleasure and liquor, where people indulged themselves and got addicted to hedonism— the pursuit of gratification.

The Great Gatsby was actually written on the basis to prove how corrupt this age was, and the existence of such corruption was vaguely hinted by various factors, one of which included Jay Gatsby's actual source of income: being involved in the affairs of the black market. This proves that illegal activities were not uncommon around that time, as people did anything they could to achieve materialistic gains.

This isn't a history lesson, I promise.

Both Jay Gatsby and Fitzgerald had grown up in poverty and disliked the concept of being anything short of wealthy. They both worked extremely hard to attain financial abundance.

I presume that not everything they did was actually legal when it came to gaining money. As mentioned before, Jay was involved in criminal activities which founded the basis of his wealth, while Fitz once mentioned that in order to own a gun, he had to kill 4 people. He goes on to tell us that he ended up owning that specific gun's manufacturer eventually.

Daisy Buchanan and Zelda Fitzgerald.

The Great Gatsby is actually centered around Jay Gatsby's rather obsessive infatuation with Daisy.

Daisy was a beautiful lady with a incredibly charming nature— she didn't have much trouble with attracting many men back then before she got married to Tom Buchanan, the antagonist of the story and the rival of Jay Gatsby.

"Her voice was full of money," he said suddenly.

That was it. I'd never understood before. It was full of money— that was the inexhaustible chair that rose and fell in it, the jingle of it. the cymbals' song of it... High in a white palace the King's daughter, the golden girl...

Daisy and Jay Gatsby fell in love right before he was sent off to war and a few years before she met Tom. Before they were separated, Jay's dream of gaining wealth and status was primarily flamed by his intention of reaching Daisy's social ranking in order to be worthy of her love.

Initially, because of how passionate he was about his love for her, Jay lied to Daisy about his wealth. It was only after the War did he actually gain the riches he aimed for. By the time he did achieve his monetary goals, Daisy had married Tom already. Consequently, Jay hosted a bunch of lavish parties in order to gain her attention, prove himself and his love for her, and ultimately, win her back.

Jay perceived Daisy as a literal angel, void of any flaw whatsoever. He even tells Nick, the main character, that the fact that numerous men got romantically involved with such a lady just increased her value altogether.

But what gave it an air of breathless intensity was that Daisy lived there— it was as casual a thing to her as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, a hint of bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its corridors, and of romances that were not musty and laid away already in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year's shining motor cars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely withered. It excited him too that many men had already loved Daisy— it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still vibrant emotions.

As the story unfolded, Daisy's character was torn apart for a proper, more brutally realistic perspective of her true character, revealing a shallow, selfish lady who solely placed her interest in money and luxury, the things which she often took refuge in when things went wrong. As the plot developed itself, the actuality that Jay fell in love with the idea of Daisy, instead of Daisy herself, was much more evident. And it took quite some time for him to discover and acknowledge the truth.

Fitzgerald's love for Zelda was very apparent, too, except that it seemed more genuine and pragmatic. Not much is speculated about Fitz and Zelda's relationship in the Guild Arc, but his love for her was very deep, as everything he did was for her and their deceased daughter.

Side note: Fitzgerald (the author) based Daisy's character partially on Zelda, as both women were brought up in wealthy families and took a general liking to lifestyles revolving around money and ease.

Fitzgerald was in love with Zelda, a woman plagued by a debilitating illness. In The Great Gatsby, Jay was in love with a woman who was plagued by the deceptive addiction of self-satisfaction gained by pleasure and whatnot. Zelda was impaired by an mental illness, while Daisy was intoxicated by the security of money and prestige. This is an abstract suggestion though. Personally, that's how I interpreted this correlation when it came to examining these dynamics in their respective universes.

Tom Buchanan

As mentioned before, Thomas Buchanan was Daisy's husband and Jay's rival who had similar characteristics in matters of personality. The Toms in both book and anime were arrogant and cunning, which pretty much vouches for their selfishness.

In the book, Tom is supposedly the love of Daisy's life, except that she just married him for his money instead of waiting for Gatsby. Then again, Tom was involved in a love affair outside his marriage with a lady named Myrtle Wilson. Tom cheated on Daisy by getting involved with Myrtle. On the other hand, Daisy was unfaithful to Tom by keeping her love and relationship with Jay a secret from him.

The climax of the story partly revolves around Myrtle dying in a hit-and-run car accident. The grand twist was that Daisy was the one driving the car, and the car actually belonged to Gatsby. Because the car belonged to Gatsby, George Wilson, the husband of Myrtle, was bent on revenge and tracked down the car. He ended up killing Jay Gatsby, and soon after that, he killed himself.

It was quite a scandal, but Daisy estranged herself from such a tedious matter. In fact, when Jay died, she did not even attend his funeral. Tom was under the impression that Gatsby was the one who killed his mistress, not Daisy, his wife. Either ways, Nick described them in a way that sums up what became of them after Jay's death:

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy— they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made...

It's interesting to note that in chapter 45 of the BSD manga, Tom appears as the antagonist who was later found guilty of murdering his employee, but the blame was originally put on T.J Eckleburg, the inventor of the Eyes of God.

Side note: T.J. Eckleburg was actually an optician who appeared on a billboard advertisement in the novel. This billboard was used as a personification by Nick Carraway, which was meant to embody the representation of a displeased overseer who observed the events that unfolded before him. The Eyes of God has a similar concept: scrutinising everything with an accuracy of 97%. It's a personal speculation, but the Eyes of God was proven to be of utmost importance in the Cannibalism Arc when it came to capturing Fyodor Dostoevsky. Likewise, T.J. Eckleburg's eyes showed how corruption and misconduct never escaped his judgmental visage.

sorry about the quality of the manga panels ;-;

In the manga, Fitzgerald manages to triumph over Tom by betraying his trust altogether in order to obtain the ownership of the Eyes of God and Tom's company. This stands in contrast to what became of Jay in the novel, but the protagonist got what he wanted in this universe.

Keep in mind that Fitzgerald didn't act according to fulfil what justice required; it was purely business. Just like Jay Gatsby put on the facade of a plain, rich man who was really just bootlegging his way to opulence, Fitzgerald wasn't afraid to betray someone's trust to get what he wanted.

Nick Carraway and Louisa May Alcott

If I were to pick a character that represented Louisa May Alcott in BSD from the book, I'd pick the narrator himself: Nick Carraway. Again, this is my personal interpretation, so the association between these two characters is just my personal opinion.

Nick Carraway was known as the more reserved, cynical protagonist compared to Jay. The both of them developed a cordial friendship as the story progressed.

Nick initially took a liking to Gatsby, who was his neighbour. The enigmatic aura Gatsby emitted called for Nick's attention, and in the same way, Gatsby reciprocated his interest in Nick by making the effort to acquaint himself with him.

He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself.

There were a few times which suggests that Nick didn't like the way Gatsby acted or spoke. Nevertheless, Nick was the only one who stuck with Gatsby until the end.

"They're a rotten crowd," I shouted across the lawn. "You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.

(This was the last thing Nick said to Jay before he died.)

At first, Nick was intrigued by Jay's mystical nature and peculiar idiosyncrasies, but found that Gatsby was a very strange, but 'morally bad' man. However, over time, Nick became one of the few who managed to recognise Gatsby's idealistic ambitions; he saw through all the fame and wealth and found a mere human being capable of being entrapped by love's snares. Basically, he understood Gatsby, despite disagreeing with his actions and even his behaviour at times.

As for Louisa, well, it is a known fact that she was loyal to Fitzgerald because of how much she respected and trusted him.

Both Nick and Louisa were intelligent, witty people with generally nice, honest, and reserved dispositions. Their self-contained demeanours make it very easy to get along with the more exurbent/dominant personas of Gatsby and Fitzgerald. So in the event where each pair was isolated from the rest of the world, they had each other to depend on.

Next morning I sent the butler to New York with a letter to Wolfsheim, which asked for information and urged him to come out on the next train. That request seemed superfluous when I wrote it. I was sure he’d start when he saw the newspapers, just as I was sure a there’d be a wire from Daisy before noon – but neither a wire nor Mr. Wolfsheim arrived; no one arrived except more police and photographers and newspaper men. When the butler brought back Wolfsheim’s answer I began to have a feeling of defiance, of scornful solidarity between Gatsby and me against them all.

Such a dynamic created a close bond of trust. Just as Nick was not hesitant to stick by Gatsby's side, Louisa went to great extents just to return Fitzgerald back to his former leading position and work together with him.

Side note: Nick Carraway is suggested to have the INTP personality type, while Louisa is most likely an INFP. Both these personalities are strikingly similar in many ways. They are individualistic in thinking and described as 'seekers' of their place in the world. If you're interested in a more detailed comparison, check this post out

Alright, that's about it for my speculations; I hope they weren't too messy. Thank you so much for reading!

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

- Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby

[girlboss-molina]

Be Who You Are (No Compromise)

A Julie and the Phantoms Modern Royalty AU

Chapter 1: Introductions

AO3 Link

Words: 5543

-----

Alex POV

...

Of course. 

Of fucking course.

He’d known it was coming, yeah, but that didn’t change the fact that, despite his friendship with Princess Julie, Alex had no desire to marry her. And now, after begging not to be married off, he was still stuck in this deal.

It had nothing to do with Julie herself, of course; Julie was a kind, loving, musical girl around his age. The issue was that he was gay. Marrying a girl was not something he was interested in. 

Julie knew Alex was gay; he’d come out to her after he was sure she would accept him, which he knew she would after she mentioned her best friend being a lesbian, and her being bisexual herself. Needless to say, neither of them had been thrilled by the announcement a couple years back that they would be getting married, for more reasons than the fact that nobody wants to be in an arranged marriage. 

And now, in three months time, he would be at the alter with a girl he wasn’t in love with. 

Alex knew it wouldn’t be that bad; in fact, he and Julie were quite close friends. Their kingdoms, Tambor and Dahlia respectively, were close allies. But for some godforsaken reason, their leaders had felt the need to strengthen their allyship by setting up their heirs in an arranged marriage. Had Alex been the oldest, this wouldn’t have been the case. However, it wouldn’t be him, but his older sister, Ava, taking the throne of Tambor. 

He, along with his guards, would be travelling to Dahlia this evening. He hated that it was so soon. Not that he wasn’t excited to see Julie, he was, but it was the reason that put a knot in his stomach.

Alex allowed himself one more panic attack before getting ready. As a treat.

The warm sun streaming into his room felt out of place with the dread settling in his stomach, and his breath choked, his heart racing, salty tears streaming down his face. He clenched his hands into fists and back out, trying to calm himself despite the emotional release. His nails dug into his palm, not hard enough to cut, but enough to leave little indents that he then ran his fingertips across. 

Trying to pull himself together, he stood - albeit shakily - and walked across the soft, carpeted floor to his full-length mirror, pleasantly surprised as he noted that he wasn’t as big of a mess as he’d expected, given his previous panic. 

A knock on his door alerted him that his head butler was there to help him get ready for the jet ride.

“Your highness, are you alright?”

Alex didn’t answer, grateful for Luke’s steady voice outside his door.

“He’s a little panicky at the moment. Maybe give him a few minutes to settle?” he suggested, and Alex hoped Luke was receiving the strong thank you vibes he was trying to transmit telepathically. 

Any time Alex had a panic attack, he was semi-verbal. He could speak if he really, really tried, but it generally took a great deal of effort. He and Luke had a system, though; if Alex needed support during a panic attack, he would fake-sneeze three times, and Luke would come in from his station outside Alex’s door. 

Alex allowed himself another minute to calm his breathing and wipe the tears from his face, practicing the grounding exercise Julie had taught him. 

Inhale- 1, 2, 3, 4

Hold- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Exhale- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

It helped a lot, and soon he was able to straighten his hair and begin changing into the suit his tailors had made just for this occasion. 

Another knock echoed from his door, and Alex took one final deep breath to compose himself. 

“Come in,” he said, proud of how steady his voice was. 

The butler entered; a kind man named Erik, who Alex had gotten to know over the past month or so. His olive skin shone in the afternoon light streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows. 

Alex dressed himself, for the most part; having butlers help him dress was never something he particularly enjoyed. He allowed Erik to smooth his white dress shirt, though; no matter how many times Alex had practiced tucking in his shirts, they always ended up wrinkled. 

He slid the navy suit vest over the shirt once it was nice and smooth, fastening the thick buttons over his stomach. Minimalistic gold embroidery on the vest sparkled in the light, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the bit of flair. He’d been half-hoping that his matching navy pants would have a bit of sparkle as well, but to no avail. Probably for the best, he decided. Just a little touch was enough. 

He fixed the cuff of his sleeve, taking a breath as Erik reached up with a comb to fix his hair. It was simple but refined, how it always was. 

“Erik, you’ve outdone yourself with this one, bro!” Alex said excitedly. He might not be very pleased about being in an arranged marriage, but he could appreciate a good suit. “I love the details.”

“I’m glad you like it!” Erik beamed with the praise. “May I?” he asked, reaching for Alex’s shoulders. Alex nodded, and Erik smoothed the vest’s warm fabric, readjusting the hem until it was aligned perfectly. 

He might not have been the type of guy to always wear suits, unless necessary, but Alex had to admit it. He looked good. The slim fit outlined his muscles, and the deep blue of the vest and pants brought out the bluish tints in his blue-green-grey eyes. (nobody could seem to decide what color they actually were). The small touches of golden embroidery shone and somehow managed to accentuate the sun-born highlights in his hair. 

“You look wonderful, your highness.”

“Thanks, Erik. And you can call me Alex, we’re chill.” Alex had been insisting to Erik that he could be casual around him for months, but Erik still generally referred to him as “your highness.”

“Alex,” he corrected with a broad smile. “Well, Alex, you have a photoshoot for the press in ten minutes, so if there’s anything else I can do to get you ready, don’t hesitate to ask. Though I must say, you look awesome.” Alex let out a small laugh. 

“Thanks, dude. Oh, wait, before you go, could you tell me something?”

“Of course,” Erik replied. Alex put on his Serious Face.

“Do these pants make my butt look big?” Erik bust out laughing, and Alex couldn’t help but do the same. 

...

Three hours later, Alex was finally done with an exhaustive photoshoot. He hated having his picture taken; add that to the list of anxieties. He had to make sure he looked perfect, or everything could go wrong; that was what his parents had drilled into him from the moment he had his first real photoshoot. 

Of course, he still had to endure an interview with the Tambor Times Magazine, which he was dreading. Speaking to an overeager journalist with no respect for privacy was never something he looked forward to. 

“What are your thoughts on the marriage that has been arranged between you and Her Royal Highness, Princess Julie of Dahlia?” Alex cleared his throat.

“It’s definitely a unique situation,” he started. “I mean, not every nineteen-year-old is part of an arranged marriage.” He did his best to keep his voice light, and it must’ve worked, because the journalist gave a laugh and moved on. 

“If I may, what is your current relationship with her?”

“The princess and I share a close bond,” was the only answer he gave. “If you’ll excuse me, I must be going,” he added. “I have a flight to catch.” He grinned - He didn’t have to catch any flight. He would be on the royal family private jet. But the journalist smiled and shook his hand, instructing him to have a wonderful evening, and he did the same. 

The bit about catching a flight wasn’t entirely false, though; soon, he had wished his parents a good evening and boarded the jet with his suitcases, hoping to leave his anxiety in Tambor.

-----

Julie POV

...

So.

Here’s the thing. 

Julie liked Alex, she really did. He was one of her closest friends (princesses don’t get out much). But he was gay, And Julie was decidedly Not A Guy. Plus, they both knew their connection was strongest platonically, anyway. 

Of course, none of that matters in diplomacy. 

Julie had tried many, many times to get out of the arranged marriage. But she’d just turned eighteen, and Alex nineteen, and apparently their kingdoms had no such qualms about marrying off teenagers. 

At least her dad, King Ray, had tried to get her out of it. But even as king, there was only so much he could do; everybody except for him thought it was a grand idea, because Of Course They Did. And once the public had heard the news, when she was sixteen, Julie couldn’t look out her window without seeing photographers outside the palace gates for a week. 

She supposed there was nothing she could do about it now, though, no matter how much she wanted to, for her sake and Alex’s. 

At least he was someone she got along with well. She knew they would never be in love, for multiple reasons, but she wouldn’t be unhappy. Alex might, though. They’d stayed up late on many a night, him rambling about cute guys he’d seen amongst the palace staff or on his occasional trip to the city, her chatting about songs she’d been writing and the one guy she’d had a crush on, Nick. 

Nick was the son of a nobleman her dad was very close with, and they were good friends, but she’d never acted on her little crush. Her feelings for Nick hadn’t really gone anywhere, it was just a lingering crush she’d had for a few years, but one that had faded with time.

Julie sighed, smoothing out her dress. It was simple but elegant, with a little bit of Julie flair. The silky violet fabric was cut in a slim fit to her waist, before gently flaring outwards towards her ankles. Off-the-shoulder straps revealed the dark skin of her shoulders, and the pearly embroidery of dahlia flowers around her waist shone in the light, tapering off as she twirled, though as she practiced her camera smile, it didn’t reach her eyes. 

Alex was her friend, but neither of them wanted to get married. But she’d tried her hardest to get them out of it, to no avail. 

So, as she sat down at her vanity, Julie closed her eyes and reminded herself the words her mother used to tell her every time she was scared. 

It’ll all be okay, Jules. You’re strong, and you’re a diamond in the rough.

The words settled her stomach a little bit. 

Her lady-in-waiting, Mira, knocked on her door. 

“Come in,” Julie said. Mira bustled in, her flaming red hair pulled into a messy bun, her brown eyes sparkling. 

“Oh, Jules, you look lovely.” Julie smiled.

“Thanks, Mira. How’s my hair?” Julie reached up to smooth her curls, which had been combed back and woven into a thick, braided knot at the base of her neck.  

“Almost perfect, but it needs a little something,” Mira decided with a smirk. Julie had no idea what Mira had in mind, but she knew she would love it. 

Before either of them could say another word, Flynn walked into Julie’s room, followed by her girlfriend, Carrie. 

“Hey, underachiever,” Flynn greeted with a smile.

“Hey, disappointment!”

“Dude,” Flynn said, a serious look on her face. “That dress is the shit!” Carrie nodded enthusiastically. 

“A definite look.”

“Thanks guys,” Julie said with a grin. “I love it, too! Mira’s got some sort of magic in her hands, because this is one of my favorites for sure.” Mira blushed. 

“Well, I’m not quite done,” she admitted. “Jules, your color scheme is pink, purple, and blue, usually, right?”

“Yeah, usually! I can always get behind some other colors, though.”

“Of course. But I think for this dress, the pink-purple-blue scheme would fit the best.”

“Definitely,” Carrie jumped in. “The purple mediates the pink and blue, so those are like side accents.” 

“I like this one,” Mira decided, pointing at Carrie. Carrie flipped her hair and smiled. “But yes. So, I was thinking for your hair, we could weave in some thin ribbons in those colors? It would be super simple, wouldn’t even have to take it out and restyle it.”

“Work your magic,” Julie instructed. Mira grinned excitedly and set to work, sitting Julie down at the vanity.

“Okay, Jules,” Flynn sighed. “I know you don’t want me to ask this, but are you doing okay?” Carrie took Flynn’s arm and nodded. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. Either of you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Julie decided. She didn’t want to marry Alex, and she knew he felt the same way. “At least it’s not somebody I hate, though. Alex and I get along really well.”

“I know,” Carrie added. “But that doesn’t mean you have to be okay.” A single tear rolled down Julie’s cheek, and she was grateful she hadn’t done her makeup yet.

“Thanks. To be honest, I’m not really okay, but I’ll live. And besides, it’s not for another three months. And having another friend around for a few months will be nice. Before, you know, I have to marry him.” Flynn let out a sad laugh. 

“If I may add my input,” Mira began, “I’ve always hated the prospect of arranged marriages. At the very least, both people should have to agree with it.” Julie nodded, quickly stopping when she felt the ribbons Mira was weaving into her hair tug. “Sorry,” she added. “I’ll be done in just a moment.”

“I agree,” Carrie said. “It’s stupid. Dahlia and Tambor are already allies, so why are they even doing this?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. My dad says it’s to ‘strengthen agreeability between our separate civilians.’ But at least tried to get me out of it,” she added. “King Xavier and Queen Claire both thought it was a great idea.” Julie had always held some bitterness towards Alex’s parents, given their closed-mindedness and apathy towards minorities and less fortunate people. Alex had always felt the same, and avoided coming out to them for those reasons. 

“Well, I personally think it’s homophobic that my best friend is being forced to be part of an arranged marriage,” Flynn decided, “because I’m gay and it annoys me. Plus, you know, she doesn’t want to be part of it.” Julie couldn’t help but laugh at that, as did Mira. 

“All done with the ribbons,” she said, handing Julie a mirror to see the back of her head. 

“Oh, Mira, I love it!” The ribbons were braided through her thick hair, swooping around the knot, twisting through her own curls and holding the hairstyle together perfectly. Both pretty and practical. 

“I’m glad!” Mira looked very proud of herself, for a good reason. Julie’s lady-in-waiting was definitely a woman to be admired (and feared - she’d taken down a full-grown man in a self defense class, while wearing heels). Julie could walk in heels, even run in them, but she’d tried fighting in them, and failed miserably. She might’ve been competent fighting in regular shoes, but heels were a different story. Mira, though, could do it all. 

Mira’s phone dinged. 

“Oh, Jules, it’s time for the pre-meetup photoshoot!”

“Got it. Thanks, Mira, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Forget about your photoshoots, probably.”

…

The photoshoot involved lots of candid shots of her in the garden, doing her best to look serene, and not show the anxiety bubbling in her stomach. But somehow, she actually managed to get through it without losing it. 

“Wonderful, miss. Turn towards me, look to your left- yes, perfect.” The photographer’s voice faded as she obeyed his instructions, a human robot running correctly but with wandering thoughts. 

“You look so natural, miss!” he complimented. Julie offered a smile, returning to her thoughts. There had to be a way to get her and Alex out of this. But she couldn’t think of any that wasn’t treasonous, illegal, or flat-out stupid. Of course, as a teenage girl, she felt she deserved to be a little stupid sometimes, but apparently that was “unbecoming of a princess” and “a bad influence.” Personally, she just thought that was biphobic.

-----

Luke POV

...

Luke hadn’t ever traveled much, let alone to a neighboring kingdom, so needless to say, he was pumped to get to visit Dahlia for three months at least. His hope was that, even though no one involved wanted the marriage to happen, they could find a bright side in him getting to stay with his best friend. 

Of course, that didn’t change the fact that he felt bad for his charge and best friend, Alex. He knew Alex was gay; in fact, they’d “dated” for a few weeks when they were fourteen. But even after deciding they were better as friends, they were close, maybe even closer afterwards. Luke told Alex everything; he didn’t know if he had a secret that Alex didn’t know. 

Everyone in the palace was used to seeing him and Alex wandering the grounds, goofing off, messing around in the music studio, what have you. Technically, Luke was a junior guardsman, and given his bond with the prince, had been assigned (along with an actual guard) to be his security detail. That had evolved into an even stronger friendship, though. Years passed, and soon they were inseparable. 

Luke had done his best to cheer up Alex; seeing his best friend that upset was heartbreaking. But there was nothing he could actually do to help, so he settled for laying next to Alex on the floor and staring at the high ceilings.

An hour passed, and soon the afternoon sun was streaming into Alex’s room. Luke saw Alex drag a hand down his face. 

“I guess you should start getting ready, then?” he asked.

“Probably.” Luke patted his shoulder. “Do you think it would be too drastic to fake my death?” Luke laughed, knowing Alex was joking, though it wouldn’t have actually surprised him. Alex and Julie were friends, but neither of them wanted to get married. Especially not the gay guy, very publicly, to a girl. 

Luke stood up, giving Alex a mock salute, and walked out the door, closing it behind him. 

He stood there for a few minutes, straightening his back as a senior guardsman passed him. He ducked his head in a nod, relaxing a moment later. As much as he might’ve come off as a chill guy, he was worried for Alex; even more so when he heard Alex’s breathing quicken from the other side of the wall, his footsteps pacing back and forth. 

The panic attack shouldn’t have surprised him. Alex had clinical anxiety, and this was probably one of the most stress-inducing times of his life. Being forced into an arranged marriage - even if you’re friends with the other person - is no fun for anybody. And today he would be going to the Dahlia palace to stay for three months before the ceremony.

Luke fiddled with the hem of his jacket; it was charcoal black, and thick and protective, with eight buttons on the wide front, crossing his chest. He’d gotten used to it, but despite that, he still started sweating in the warm weather of Tambor. The red sash crossing over the jacket had golden embroidery on the edges, and he quite enjoyed running his fingers over the textured thread. 

Luke could still hear Alex panicking, but there were no sets of three fake sneezes in between the rapid breaths, so he stayed. Alex was able to recognize when he needed support, and when he needed to be left alone. 

Luke spotted Erik nearing him. He couldn’t stop him, but Erik was aware of Alex’s anxiety, so Luke wasn’t concerned. He smiled at Erik, giving him a look, warning him that Alex was having a panic attack. Erik nodded, knocking gently on the door. 

“Your highness, are you alright?” When Alex didn’t respond, Luke jumped in. 

“He’s a little panicky at the moment. Maybe give him a few minutes to settle?” Erik nodded, and Luke gave a relieved smile. 

“You look nervous as well,” Erik noted. 

“Well, I am, a little bit,” Luke admitted. “I’ve never been to Dahlia, but I’m going with Alex since I’m his head guard and Royal Best Dude™.” Erik grinned. “I’m excited, though! I bet it’ll be a lot of fun.”

“I’m so jealous,” Erik told him. “I’ve never been outside of Tambor.”

“I’m worried for Alex, though. He’s really nervous.”

“Yeah,” Erik agreed, a flicker of understanding rushing across his face that made Luke smile despite himself. If he was being honest, Luke had a tiny crush on Erik, but nothing substantial. “I mean, it’s gotta suck being closeted to everyone but a few people, and having to marry a girl.” Luke nodded. 

“I wish there was something we could do about it.”

…

Luke stood guard off-camera while Alex had his pre-meetup photoshoot and interview. It was what he always did, though this time it felt different, like he was a silent supporter during a tough time, now more than ever. 

If nothing else, he could reassure Alex that he looked fabulous in his suit - it wasn’t a lie, either. The navy blue fabric complimented his eyes perfectly, and the golden details were a stunning addition. Tie that with his sharp jaw and awkward, endearing personality? Anybody would simp for him. He had a feeling that many people did, too; Some of Alex’s best photos from these shoots would be printed in the Tambor Times Magazine, and he would also post some - as well as his own selfies - on his instagram. Luke had seen the comments, and always smirked at Alex given the amount of heart-eyed emojis and key smashes there were. 

Luke stood behind the cameraman for the candid shots where they needed Alex to be smiling or laughing. No matter how much he practiced, Alex could never get a good candid smile, so Luke took it upon himself to stand behind the photographer making faces, or occasionally imitating their every move with mock seriousness. 

When Alex’s musical laugh rang through the air, Luke patted himself on the back. 

Worked every time. 

He worked his magic for a few more shots afterwards, doing his best to make Alex laugh. It wasn’t just for the photos, though, it was to help him settle down. Luke knew this was a horrible situation, but there was nothing he could do to stop it, so he’d have to try to make it more bearable. 

After Alex’s interview, Luke could tell that the reality of the situation was hitting him even more, as a flicker of fear shadowed his face, his hands clenched into fists. Luke walked towards him slowly, making sure Alex was okay with it, and when he didn’t retract, he put his hand on his shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. And as Alex seemed to relax, nodding and pulling Luke into a hug, that was when he knew.

Alex was his best friend, and didn’t deserve any of this pain or fear. He deserved for things to be okay.

Luke would keep that promise, no matter what.

-----

Reggie POV

...

Reggie knew he was Princess Julie’s honorary older brother; it had been that way for years, after he ran away from his own pathetic excuse for a home. He was lucky King Ray was a kind man; he could’ve just as easily left him there where he’d found him, a nine-year-old in the street of the raining Dahlia capital city. But he’d taken Reggie in, and soon, Reggie was part of the royal family, even if not by blood. 

Now, given that he was Julie’s honorary older brother, he hated that she was being put into an arranged marriage. She was eighteen, for God’s sake! Reggie was nineteen, and knew for a fact he wouldn’t have been able to handle it nearly as gracefully as she did. Then again, while she was young, playful, and vibrant, Julie was also the epitome of grace and poise; she’d grown up in a palace, after all. 

Needless to say, though, Reggie was sure he wouldn’t be able to not be protective of Julie when Prince Alexander came. He’d met him before, but only briefly; in passing after dinner during visits, mostly. It did help Reggie’s nerves to remember that Alexander was a very sweet, reserved person from his own interactions with the man. But that was his little sister, and while she wasn’t completely devastated, Reggie knew she didn’t want it to happen. 

He dragged a hand down his face, flopping down on his bed. He wanted so badly to help Julie out of this, but he couldn’t. 

Hey, at least he could cheer her up with his jokes! She always said they were awful, but Reggie knew better. Only the finest of jokes could make Her Royal Highness, Princess Julie Molina of Dahlia, laugh until her sides hurt, even coming from her honorary older brother, Sir Reginald Molina. 

He smiled to himself. He might not be able to stop this whole predicament, but he could help her through it.

Reggie hopped up, fixing his suit. The silky red fabric of the vest hadn’t creased at all, nor had his grey suit pants, and yet he still felt the need. He did, however, roll the sleeves of his black dress shirt to expose his forearms, because come on. Even with Dahlia’s cool climate, he still got hot, especially when the sun was streaming through his windows, and he had a few photos outside before Prince Alexander’s arrival. Plus, it didn’t hurt that, according to his Instagram followers, the rolled sleeves made him look “personable” and “hotter than the sun.” 

Reggie ran a finger over the shimmering black embroidery of the vest, then winking at the mirror and pulling his best finger guns. It was his god-given right as a fancy bisexual. 

He ran his hand through his expertly-styled hair, letting some of his waves free from their stiff hold. It wasn’t the perfect style it had been when his butler styled it a couple hours ago, but it was more of his own style, which he liked a bit better. Spinning on his heel and slipping a hand in his pocket, Reggie walked out his door and down the light-filled corridor, down to the front steps, waving to Mira along the way. As he stepped outside, he heard people outside of the palace gates start shouting. He gave a wink and playful salute, even daring to blow a kiss in the general direction of a cute girl. He noticed Julie rolling her eyes, the photographer seizing the moment to take some shots of him on the palace steps. 

He jogged over to Julie, wrapping his arm around her. 

“How are you doing, your highness?”

“I’m doing okay,” she said, though both of them knew it was a lie. “How about you, Reg?”

“I’m okay as well. Just popping in to see my fangirls-” he winked at the crowd behind the gate, and a chorus of teenage girls (and a few boys) all sighed dreamily- “and check on you. We both know you’re lying.” Julie groaned.

“This whole thing just sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” he agreed. “But I’ll be here for you every step of the way. You know that, right dude?”

“You’re such a sappy loser,” she told him, and he put her in a playful headlock, posing for the camera.

“I know.” Reggie might’ve been a “sappy loser” of a brother, but he knew that, in Julie’s book, he was a sappy loser (affectionate), and that she understood that he was there for her. 

Hopefully that would be enough. 

-----

Willie POV

...

Willie had never actually gotten to know Princess Julie, but he’d met her a couple times. He was a chef in the palace kitchens, and on occasion, Julie would come down to try to get to know people. He’d never truly had a long conversation with her, but in the interactions they’d had, she was kind, and had a musical air to her. 

He’d seen pictures of the prince she was set to marry, Prince Alexander of Tambor. If Willie was being honest, he was kind of cute.

Okay, really cute. 

He’d never actually met the guy, but he seemed nice. His photos on Instagram had good vibes, at least. Willie couldn’t help but hope he’d get to meet him when he came to visit. If it was just because his brain was screaming cute boy, that was nobody’s business but his. 

Willie sprinkled more flour on the dough he was kneading, folding it in some more. It was cathartic, this repetitive motion. It helped calm his ADHD sometimes. He kept going.

Sprinkle. Fold. Roll.

Sprinkle. Fold. Roll.

Kneading the dough until it wasn’t sticky, he listened to the head chef, Lilian, shout orders at the rest of them. She was a very intimidating woman, tall and muscular, with raven black hair in a sleek ponytail, and fair skin flecked with flour. But she was quite kind, Willie had come to learn over the years. She was just one of those people who scared you if you didn’t know them. 

He put the dough in a pan, setting it in the oven and flicking on the light so he could monitor its progress, as could anyone else walking by. Wiping the flour from his hands to his apron, he then put his dishes and utensils in the giant dishwasher, finally washing his hands and grabbing a new bowl. 

Tonight was the welcome feast for Prince Alexander. Willie and a few others were in charge of baking loaves of bread for the appetizers, as well as making the desserts; today, mini chocolate mousse cakes. 

Dessert was always Willie’s favorite course to prepare, and not just because he could steal bits of frosting from the spatulas after he was finished. It was also because of how making desserts seemed to put everyone in the kitchens in a good mood. Maybe it was the smell of rising sugar, or the bright colors of the tubs of sprinkles, but he adored it. 

He cracked the eggs into the mixture of butter and sugar, adding the milk and flour soon after. As he poured in the cocoa powder, a little bit poofed up, creating a chocolatey cloud. The noise of the mixture did nothing to silence his racing thoughts, though. 

Would he get to meet Prince Alexander?

Would he like him?

And most importantly, why did he want to so badly? 

Willie shook his head, doling the batter into mini cake pans and tapping them on the counter to get rid of any air bubbles, sticking them in an oven after it beeped to temperature. 

Another oven beeped.

“Hey, Alyssa?” he called to a plump woman a few meters away. “Could you check on the bread in that oven to your right?” She nodded and leaned down, giving him a thumbs up.

“Probably needs another minute or so, but it looks great.”

“Sick, thanks!” Alyssa nodded and smiled, her dyed-purple hair shimmering in its bun. 

Willie grabbed the ingredients he would need for the mousse, arranged them on the counter, then jogged over to the other oven and pulled out the bread - without putting on oven mitts.

He hissed in pain but didn’t let go, quickly putting it on the stovetop and running to a sink to run his fingers under cold water.

Willie already had tons of scars and calluses on his hands, both from cooking and skateboarding on his off-days, so the burn didn’t hurt nearly as bad as it would’ve a few years ago. And by some miracle, it didn’t blister - though it did swell and turn red. Willie cursed under his breath, heading to the first-aid kit and smearing some ointment on it and covering it with a bandage. 

“Let me guess,” said Lilian from behind him. “You forgot oven mitts again?”

“Guilty,” he said with a grin. Lilian sighed, but didn’t manage to hide her smile. 

“Willie, you need to be more careful. I know your brain always has, like twenty thoughts going at all times, but you could hurt yourself.”

“Twenty-three,” he corrected. “And I know, but you only live once, and I didn’t want the bread to burn.”

“Five seconds to grab a mitt wouldn’t burn the bread.”

“Hey, there’s a first time for everything.” Lilian rolled her eyes and gently swatted him on the shoulder. It wasn’t a mean move, of course, it was her saying she was exasperated but that she cared about you. Willie laughed and went back to his mixing bowl, getting ready to prepare the mousse.

This would be perfect.

[dilf-hater-blog]

Invisible Lives (s.r. x fem!reader)

(age gap, reader being dense as hell, awkward tension, only one bed cliché)

Summary: Pairing two of the most average-looking Avengers seemed like a good plan on pen and paper, but when asked to pose as a couple, it seems as if God was finally telling Steve to admit his feelings towards you. (2.5k words)

a/n: there WILL be a part 2! stay tuned :]

“Alright you two, do we need to go over it one more time?” Tony asks and your consciousness felt like it wasn’t in your body.

“Okay! It looks like we need to go over the mission AGAIN. Pay attention this time.” he calls out your name and looks at you

“Sorry.” He just nods and suddenly, pictures show up on the screen.

“You and Capsicle will go undercover here.” he points to the screen and the picture enlarges, “It’s a remote village in France, we think HYDRA has a facility right under this house over here.” a red circle appears beside a house in a somewhat suburban area. “And you, our lovely couple, shall stay over here.” he points to the house right beside the encircled one.

Steve looks over at you and squints his eyes “Are you getting all of this?”

“Uhh yeah, I just...we’re staying right beside them?” “Pretty much, just you and Rogers alone in a house while an evil terrorist organization is RIGHT beside you guys-”

“Tony.” The disappointment in Steve’s voice was evident and Tony rolls his eyes, “We’re a call away kid, we’ll be in the neighboring city. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

You let out a shaky breath and both men look over at you “You’ll do fine, now, we have to go over your roles.” Steve’s and your picture show up on the screen with text right beside it.

“Rogers, your name would be George Blaine. You’re 32 and you like...I don’t know, history books?” you burst out laughing and when they both look at you, you clear your throat.

“Your name would be Ivy Webster, and you can both thank fake name generators for those. Ivy Webster is 20 and-”

“Why do they have such a big age gap?” Steve questions.

“Makes them focus on something else other than asking more questions.”

“Carry on.” “You’re both in a relationship.” Your heart drops and your eyes dart over to Steve, he’s fidgety and he keeps crossing and uncrossing his arms.

“Tony, you said we were playing siblings?” “Last minute change of plans, it’ll be a lot more convincing if you play lovers-“ while he’s talking, he walks over to a side table and opens a drawer.

“Here are the promise rings and do take care of those.” Tony hands a ring to Steve and you, you wear it on your left hand’s ring finger.

“Just remember, no storming their base, no blowing of covers, act casual and just do whatever you guys do. We leave in 3 hours.”

♡

“Act normal, we’ll be fine.” you chant like a mantra while you’re folding clothes and placing them in your luggage. A knock sounds “Mr. Rogers is at your door, should I let him in?” “Yes FRIDAY, thank you.”

Steve gives you a tight-lipped smile while he walks over to sit at your bed.

“You feeling okay?”

“No, I’m anxious and scared and-” You let out an exasperated sigh

“Why?” You stop to think.

“I...it’s my first time going undercover like this, and HYDRA would just be right beside us and-”

“Doll, you have nothing to worry about, not while I’m there with you.” Steve cuts you off and you give each other a tight-lipped smile “and besides, Tony did say act natural, you’ll be fine doll.” he leaves the room and you lay sprawled out on your bed.

You close your eyes and steady your breathing, everything you need is in your suitcase, you’ll be safe, there will be a terrorist organization right beside you, you and Steve will pretend to be lovers-

Your breathing quickens and your heart rate speeds up, your palms sweat and suddenly there’s a bang on the door. “Kid come on! Let’s go! Meet-up was 30 minutes ago!” fuck, did the time go by THAT fast? You grab your suitcase, and your extra bags; the door slides open, and Tony glances over at you, “Kid, this is an undercover mission, you look like you’re going to the Bahamas.” you try to suppress the urge to laugh but you burst out laughing.

“Sorry, Tony.” you apologize.

“Nah kid it’s alright, I just noticed you were nervous so I had to do something.”

“Thanks.” He pats you on the back and walks you over to the quinjet.

The door opens and you’re greeted with some of the Avengers just sitting around, “Glad to see you’re early.” Nat suddenly speaks up behind you and you turn around.

“Sorry I-” “Was rehearsing about how your date with Steve is gonna go?” Sam cuts you off and Steve pipes up from the cockpit “Come on, stop harassing the poor girl, she’s gonna go into shock if you keep teasing her.” you mouth out an ‘it’s fine’ to Sam and Nat and they smile at you, Sam suddenly makes his way past you and to the Captain.

“You two are gonna play LOVERS, all ALONE in a house...might as well tell the poor girl what you’re FEELING.” you could hear Sam’s voice all the way from the back and then you hear Steve’s shushing “Will you keep it down?” he whisper-shouts and Nat giggles.

“What’s Steve feeling? Is he nervous too?” you ask her and Nat just laughs harder.

“What? What is it?!” You start to panic and Tony pats you on the back “Alright! We’re ready to go!” He claps his hands and you sit down and buckle in while everyone else does the same.

Tony sits by the cockpit and the telltale feelings of nervousness disappear.

♡

You wake up to a feeling on your shoulder and Nat smiles at you. “Is she up now?” Tony looks behind him and you give him a thumbs up. Steve walks over to you and smiles down at you, he unbuckles your seatbelt and he offers his hand, you take it and he pulls you up.

Tony stands up from his seat in the cockpit and walks over to you, “Okay, we’ll drop you off at a safehouse. From there you are officially George Blaine and Ivy Webster, you’ll use these-” he hands both of you fake passports and IDs “-and the house telephone immediately connects you to us.” Steve nods.

“How will we get to the house?” you ask and everybody turns toward you.

“Oh, Capsicle is driving you guys. It’s not like the old man can’t drive.” everybody snickers except for Steve who has somewhat of a disappointed smile on his face. “Go fix up, we’re landing in 3.”

The plane shakes and you almost fall but a pair of arms stop you from colliding face-first with the ground “Easy does it.” Steve sits you back down and Tony turns his chair towards you, “We haven’t even landed and you guys are already in love, gross.”

“Do you want me to call Pepper?” Nat asks and Tony’s eyes grow big.

“That’s what I thought, now, keep your eyes on the sky.” Tony turns his chair back around and you all laugh.

The quinjet descends and you feel a short period of moving around before you come to a complete stop. “You need to work on the landing Cap.” Sam remarks and Steve just sighs under his breath and mumbles “I know.”

You pull your luggage along and sling your extra bag onto your shoulder and the quinjet doors open. You’re greeted by Nick Fury and the rest of the Avengers.

“Hey doll!” someone exclaims and you squeal.

“Bucky!” he picks you up with ease and spins you around.

“How was the flight?” “It was okay.” he nods and calls Steve over, they shake hands and start a conversation, you see Wanda and Nat talking so you decided to go over to them.

“Oh hey!” Wanda gives you a hug and whispers in your ear, “You’ll be fine right?” “Yes mom, I’ll be alright.” we all burst out in laughter until Nick Fury calls everyone over.

“I don’t want anyone blowing their covers, got it?” everyone simultaneously nods “We’re here for recon, we’re NOT on vacation, are we clear?” everyone nods once again, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Blaine and Webster, go get ready.” both you and Steve nod and you pick up your bags. “I’ll help you doll.” Bucky carries your bags.

“Oh no! It’s fine.” you wave your hands in front of you and Bucky just shakes his head.

“It’s alright doll, I insist.” he gives you a warm smile.

“Come on guys.” Steve opens the trunk of the car and you just give Bucky a sympathetic smile.

Both men start loading the car and Nat and Wanda surprisingly give you a hug. “Guys, I’ll be back.” “Yeah but we won’t be seeing you and we’ll probably miss you.” Nat rebuts and you all just laugh. You hear the trunk close and then the two men talking to each other.

“That’s probably my cue to leave.” you let go of the two women and they give you a sad smile.

“‘Till the end of the line,” Bucky says and Steve just gives him a smile.

“Be careful with her.” Bucky eyes Steve and he just nods.

Everyone waves you goodbye and you enter the car, Steve drives off and suddenly, silence greets the both of you again. It was pretty awkward so he puts on a random radio station, it played some old French songs and it sort of eased the tension; it was still pretty awkward so he clears his throat and you bring your knees up to your chest. It was pretty late in the afternoon and the sun was setting, you looked out the window and you see the countryside, the sun disappears behind the copious amount of houses by the water.

“You ever been to France?” Steve cuts the silence and you look over at him.

“Non monsieur, et toi?” you ask him, and he just smiles whilst still paying attention to the road.

“I think I have, we were only out at sea though.” you turn your body to face him.

“That’s a story for another time, but tell me, how do you know French?” he asks and you laugh.

“I don’t know it per se but I know SOME phrases, I learned it in like the 10th grade.” You snicker and he just raises his eyebrows to acknowledge your sentence.

“Well, they didn’t teach us that good in art school,” he remarks and you give him an amused smile.

“They probably did, Bucky showed me some of your drawings, especially the one you did of me; I’d say you’re pretty good!” you chirp and his eyes widen.

“Buck did what?! I swear to God-”

“It’s fine! Your drawings are really nice, I appreciate you taking in this face.” you bring your hand to point at your face and he just laughs.

“Do you...do you like Bucky?” there was a bit of silence, you fiddle with the end of your shoelace and think about your answer.

“Yeah I do.” there was silence on Steve’s end and you could hear yourself gulp.

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s a pretty good friend.” you continue and you hear Steve’s sigh of relief, his composure was back to normal and the small conversation you had just eased up the tension a little.

You lost count of the time due to the constant playing of French love songs, it was nighttime when you finally reached the house you were staying at. The neighboring houses around the area were quiet, most especially the one besides yours; the lights were closed and you could only hear the sound of a cricket in the distance. Steve turns the engine off and opens the trunk of the car.

“Do you want some help with your bags?” he asks and you nod.

“Yeah hold on, let me open the front door.” you turn the key and you’re greeted with an average-looking house, it was semi-furnished with some labeled boxes scattered around the house. You flip a switch and the living room lights open, Steve follows after, holding both of your bags while having his bag slung on his shoulder.

You both enter the house and you look around whilst flipping some light switches in the process. He climbs up to the second floor and you follow him shortly after; he enters the first room and to your horror, there’s a big master bed by the middle and some drawers and closets around the room.

“It’s a pretty cozy house.” he drops the bags by the bed and acts as if he didn’t see the same thing I saw. Steve explores the other rooms while I tail right behind him, the only other room on the second floor was a bathroom and an empty room with a stack of labeled boxes in it.

“Probably a guest bedroom.” I shrug and he closes the door to the empty room, he goes back to the main bedroom and starts unpacking his clothes.

“You fit that many clothes in a tiny bag?” you question and he just laughs.

“I didn’t know what else to bring.” you burst out laughing and he just gives you a shy smile, you both unload clothes in silence and he yawns. You fold the last bit of your clothes and place them in the drawer on the opposite side of the room, Steve sat on the bed and he rubs his eyes; you take your toiletries to the bathroom and stock up, you do your nightly routine and return to the bedroom.

You see Steve all sprawled out on the bed and you snicker.

“Tired, are we?” he sighs and gives you a smile.

“You think?” He waves you over and he sits up, patting the empty spot right next to him. He stands up and grabs a blanket from the closet and lays it down on the floor, you immediately stand up.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Making my bed.” he continues and places pillows on the carpeted floor.

“Wha- no-no, you’ll sleep on the bed!” you exclaim and he turns to look at you.

“Are you...okay with that?” you tilt your head.

“Well, yeah, I’ve slept on the floor multiple times.” you pat down the blanket he just laid out and you sit down on it, he shakes his head and extends his arm, you tilt your head once more and you take his hand; he pulls you up.

“No doll, I meant are you okay with us sharing a bed?” you walk over to sit down by the edge of the bed.

“Oh I don’t mind.” he looks down at his feet and he nods, he sits on the bed, making sure to put a hell of a distance between each other. You lay down against the pillows and snuggle in with the comforter, trying to get comfortable; Steve does the same and he gets into bed as well.

He turns to face you and you could feel his eyes staring into your soul, the lights were turned off but the moonlight captured his face enough.

“Goodnight doll.”

“G’night.” you slowly close your eyes, unaware of the blue eyes still lovingly staring at you.

[letsgetusaghostfriend]

A Green Day concert, a bloody nose and a coming out – Sunset Curve & Green Day I

Summary: Luke and Bobby got them tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd 1994, also known as the night Billie Joe punched a homophobe and Alex came out to the guys.

Friendship fic, super Alex & Bobby centred, Luke and Reggie are not straight but don’t know that yet. Also, I know most people think Alex came out way earlier, but he has to not be out for this story to work.

((warnings: homophobia, homophobic language (not fully written out except in the band name of the opening act), slight violence, mentioned: alcohol, underage drinking (I am german, so for me it’s not underage drinking but yeah), in general: swearing))

word count: 4.9k, read here on AO3 x

~

Luke and Bobby got four tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd in 1994, it was one of Green Day’s bigger shows at that time. The boys previously have been to other concerts of the band, but the last one was in a small club in ’92, of course, all four of them being way too young for that place. Luke and Reggie were the first ones out of their group to get fake ID’s, mainly to go to gigs and play gigs. In the beginning, Alex thought he would never do the same, too scared of possible consequences, but then Luke used his stupid puppy eyes. (They still work even after Alex crush died, dead and buried). And if he was being honest, it was really helpful for playing clubs if the owners can at least pretend that they believe the four boys are old enough to be there.

Alex was aware that Green Day’s opening act, Pansy Division, was an all-gay band. And he was excited and scared at the same time. He found out because this one kid in his English class, Josh, went to the San Diego show earlier that week and told one of his friends that he shouldn’t go to the LA show as Green Day was just a bunch of “f*g lovers” and not worth their time. So Alex was scared: what if his friends would say the same thing?

They arrive late and the line is massive, Alex anxiety pitches in and reminds him that if it takes too long for them to get inside, he might miss Pansy Divisions performance. Logically he knows that they wouldn’t start letting people in so late that the opening band already starts when most people are not inside yet, but his anxiety is not that into logical thinking. He can’t help being fidgety, at one point Luke noticed and asks him if the crowd is making him uncomfortable. “Yeah, a little bit” Alex responds, not wanting further questions about why he was so anxious. The boys keep close to the bar, staying in the back first, not too excited to get into the crowd just yet. Alex knows the others would be inside the first mosh pit if it wasn’t for his anxiety, but not once did they show any signs of annoyance about his hesitancy. They just patiently wait for Alex to get used to the crowd and atmosphere, never angry when he has a bad day and he never signals that it is okay for them to go into the more crowded areas. Sometimes, especially when Luke doesn’t know where to put his energy he and Reggie go, but they always make sure that at least one person stays with Alex. He probably should tell them how thankful he is for this more often (the others would disagree here since they feel like Alex thanks them too much).

When Pansy Division started playing Alex didn’t expect them to actually sing about hooking up with guys at rock concerts, loving men, having real, deep and meaningful relationships and just, in general, doing normal daily life stuff, living with a boyfriend and how it feels after a breakup. He feels so excited, almost jumping up and down to the beat, not able to put his excited energy out on the drums like he would if it was their own concert. Alex completely forgets to check the guys for any reactions, too involved in the music. He doesn’t see that the other three boys enjoy Pansy Divisions music just as much as he does. He doesn’t see Bobby eyeing him from the side, a knowing glint in his eye.

Alex doesn’t know that Bobby saw the way Alex would look at Luke when they were 14, at Brian from History when they were 15, and how he sometimes looks at pictures from Billie Joe Armstrong in magazines. Bobby also didn’t miss Alex’ obsession with the song Coming Clean. The other boys sometimes forget about how Bobby’s parents are genuine open-minded people, who introduce him to a lot more diverse people than his friends’ parents do. So yes, maybe Alex was discreet enough for Mr Luke Oblivious Patterson and Captain Reg Oblivious Peters, and his parents who anyway only see what they want to see, but not for Bobby. Bobby, who might from an outsider’s perspective looks like he is standing a bit outside this friendship group due to him being less loud and sociable than his friends, but Bobby who loves his friends with all his heart, Bobby who truly sees his friends and knows that this is where he belongs. Seeing the absolute bliss, happiness and excitement streaming from Alex like waves is contagious.

After Pansy Division finished their set and there was a short break before Green Day would start theirs, Bobby slips from their group, mumbling that he would get another beer. Instead, he goes to buy Pansy Divisions EP, because the band was genuinely good but mostly because he knows Alex wouldn’t buy it, but he will definitely want it. On his way to the little corner where they sell the Green Day merch as well as Pansy Division stuff, Bobby realises that it was actually packed, but he soon saw that it was just a long long line for the Green Day merch. Actually, there are so many people he can’t even see the Green Day merch salesperson. He manages to get to the guy who took care of the Pansy Division stuff, he greets him with a head nod and a short “hey”, while scrambling his money out of his pant pockets to count it. He’ll have to nick a bit off of Luke’s beer later, not having enough money left to buy another one. When he reaches out to hand out the money for the CD somebody joins the guy who cared for the merch. Bobby recognises that it’s the singer of Pansy Division and he smiles at him. “Great performance, really enjoyed you guys’ music!”. The singer grins at that and holds out his left hand, which Bobby finds a bit strange, but takes it nonetheless.

“Jon, nice to meet you.”

“Bobby, pleasure is all mine.”

“Ah, you’re a musician yourself!” Jon says while checking out Bobby as if he could tell whether the kid in front of him was any good based on his appearance. It took the guitarist a second to realise that Jon must’ve felt his calloused fingers from playing the guitar during the handshake. “Yeah, I’m actually here with my bandmates.” A voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Reggie tunes in with “We’re Sunset Curve, tell your friends.” But Bobby pretty much felt like a child trying to play in the adults’ league, so he doesn’t say anything else. Jon grabs the CD he was about to buy and opens it while asking “So Bobby, is the CD for you or someone else?” Taken aback by that question Bobby tells him without thinking “We kind of always share records. Em, so maybe Sunset Curve?” Jon who was about to sign the inside of the CD case, pauses and looks up again “You’re in Sunset Curve?”

“Yeah, rhythm guitar.” He answers without much of a thought, it takes him two seconds then he adds: “You’ve heard of us?” Jon chuckles at Bobby’s shocked tone.

“Saw you play a few months ago. Didn’t remember your name till Mike mentioned one of your songs, always called you “the band with the cute drummer” actually.” Jon casually explained to a still shell-shocked Bobby. The comment about Alex makes him choke on his own spit though. Jon smirks, but before he can say more Bobby’s mouth starts talking before his brain gave its okay: “You saw us well enough to say that Alex is cute, but you didn’t recognise me?” After the words left his mouth, he feels his face heat up.

‘Way to embarrass yourself by having too much of an ego, Robert, great job’, he thought to himself. But Jon again laughs it off, as if he made a funny joke, smirks and asks if Alex was here tonight.

“He is,” Bobby says, voice cold, “he is also sixteen.”

Now it was Jon’s time to look embarrassed. “Oh shit, never mind then.” He pauses. “Sixteen is a bit young to play that club you played, isn’t it?” He pauses again. “You guys take this whole music thing seriously, I like that!”

More at ease again after Jon’s reaction to Alex’ age, Bobby’s brain finally catches up with everything Jon said before he called Alex cute.

“Wait, Mike as in Mike Dirnt? As in Mike Dirnt mentioned one of our songs?” he asks astounded. Jon laughs at the utter bewilderment that the younger one’s face was showing. But before he could say something about it a loud voice behind Bobby sneers: “Oh look at that, Bobby the f*g lover.” He turns around and sees Andrew from his math class. “Always knew at least one of you would be a shirt lifter!”

Bobby tries to take a deep breath before he answers but Jon beats him to it. “I would really think people were clever enough to listen to lyrics, but you still find the poser ones at these concerts, especially since Dookie got Green Day so popular outside of the scene!” Bobby needed a few seconds to realise that Jon wasn’t even talking to Andrew but instead just talked about him to Bobby and the guy selling the merch.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that you fucking fairy!” Andrew sneers, stepping closer to Jon. As soon as Andrews anger is directed towards Jon and not Bobby anymore, the guitarists fight instinct kicks in.

“Fairy? Really?” he asks Andrew with a snigger in his voice, “Didn’t know we live in the 50s, Andrew. Learned all these terms from your daddy?” Bobby tries to make his voice sound as degrading as possible. For a second it seems like Andrew might shut up and leave but then Jon starts laughing loudly about Bobby’s comments and before anyone can react Andrew takes a swing and hits Jon right on the mouth. Without thinking, Bobby copies his action and the next thing he knows is that his hand hurts and Andrew has a red square on the side of his face. He glares at the guitarist and strikes again. This time the fist hits Bobby’s nose and he sees black stars in front of his eyes for a few seconds. After that, all hell is breaking loose and Bobby is being pushed around for what feels like a few minutes before he gets pulled aside and finds himself behind the selling booth with Jon by his side who has a busted lip that is still bleeding. Jon has a hand on the teen's shoulder and looks worried at him. “Fuck your nose does not look too good!” he says. Hearing the words Bobby brings his hand up to his nose and winces when he feels a sharp pain as soon as his fingers touch his nose. “Fuuuuuuuuck, Alex is going to kill me!” he groans at the thought of how the blond will react to seeing Bobby like this.

“Hey man, good punch you got on the dickhead there!” an excited voice states beside Bobby, which makes him turn his head probably a bit too quick, considering he just got punched in the face a few minutes before. But the guitarists' instincts were right: standing beside him was no other than Green Days’ singer, Billie Joe Armstrong. The blond (with fading blue in his hair) is smiling at Bobby and continues with “but I think mine was even better” while pointing at something behind Bobby, who turns around just in time to see security carrying a half-conscious Andrew out of the venue.

“You know that guy?”

“He goes to my school!” Bobby answers, still in awe looking after Andrew.

“Oh, you need to tell me about how he looks tomorrow, man I don’t miss high school but I’d love to go to school just to see that!” Billie Joe tells him and Jon, still sounding way too excited. When Bobby turns around again to look at the two musicians in front of him, he catches Jon telling Billie Joe that Bobby is part of the band they talked about the other day. Somehow getting even more excited by the news he fully turns back to Bobby. “Love that! We need more good people in this scene so we can make sure the music stays clean of dudes like that! Well, it was lovely punching homophobes with you Bobby, but I actually have a concert to play!”

And with that Billie Joe is gone through the door leading to the backstage area and Bobby looks at Jon hoping that he can find answers with him (like is he hallucinating?) but he just chuckles at the teenagers in awe face and takes the CD Bobby wanted to buy all along, as well as the money he had already paid and hands both back at the teen with the words “I think you paid enough for this already, thanks for sticking up for me!” And adding, when Bobby tries to give the money back again, “You better go so your bandmates don’t worry and you don’t miss the Green Day show!” Bobby thanks him and with a smile he makes his way back to the other boys while putting the money and the CD into his pockets.

When Alex finally sees Bobby come back to them, he feels relief washing over him. Alex always hates it when they split especially if one of them is on their own and Bobby has been gone for way too long. The first thing Alex notices is that Bobby doesn’t carry any beer or anything else that he could’ve brought from a bar, the second thing is that Bobby’s nose is bleeding. The easing relief is instantly replaced by worry as Alex's brain catches up with his eyes. As soon as the guitarist reaches them Alex starts searching his fanny pack for tissues and anything else that can help with a bloody nose, all while berating Bobby about getting into a fight. Reggie and Luke excitedly ask Bobby about it, but when their bleeding bandmate tries to tell them about what happened Alex just shushes him and gestures for him to look up so that he can take a better look at his nose. While Alex is still cleaning up Bobby’s face the crowd starts cheering and Alex turns around quickly to confirm his suspicion that the main act finally made it on stage. He keeps on cleaning his friends face from now slightly dried blood when he hears Billie Joe's voice over the speakers.

“Sorry guys, I know we’re late, but I had to punch a homophobe…” The rest of the sentence does not reach Alex’ brain as he looks at one of his best friends, whose nose was bleeding after obviously being punched and all he can hear is white noise, while the realisation, that Bobby being the homophobe who was just punched by Green Days’ singer, sets in. He feels a sharp sting in his chest all while feeling overwhelmed by fear, cold naked fear. And his thoughts race through his brain, too fast to actually make any sense, all he knows is that his worst nightmare seems to be coming true: the people he trusts the most will eventually leave him. They will hate him. They will think he is disgusting, and they will leave him. Unconsciously he takes a step back from Bobby, taking both his hands off his friends face but before he can totally spiral into his thoughts, he is caught by Bobby who holds the drummer by his wrists and looks at him like Alex offended him deeply.

“Seriously?” Bobby’s voice comes out sharper than he probably intended, softening his tone as he sees Alex flinch at him, “You actually think I am homophobic? Fuck Alex do you really think that poorly of me?” The guitarists' words and face are both filled with what Alex can only describe as hurt. Bobby attempts to say more but he is cut off by Billie Joe's voice coming over the speakers saying his name.

“A special thanks to Bobby from Sunset Curve! Make sure you check them out they’re a local band that’ll make it big one day, I’ll promise you! I swear, give them less than a year and they’ll be playing here on this very stage! Thanks, Bobby, for helping me punch a dickhead!” And with that they start into their first song, leaving the boys standing completely mind blown in the back, each one trying to comprehend what just happened. After a few seconds, Reggie, Luke and Alex all turn to Bobby with questioning faces, but Bobby concentrates on Alex’ face. “Do you believe me now?” When Alex nods the, still bleeding, guitarist feels relief wash over him. “Good! Because I already have your Christmas present and I literally know no one else who has the same taste that you have!” He actually manages to make Alex smile with his stupid comment, feeling like they might be okay again, he holds onto Alex’ sleeve, needing something to ground him, knowing that Alex is uncomfortable with public affection. He turns to Luke and Reggie who as soon as they have his attention try to bombard him with questions, but he stops them and promises to tell them later.

___

After the concert:

When they leave the venue, a wave of, for L.A. unusually cold air, hits Bobby’s face and clears his head a little, making it easier to think about everything that had happened. As he was the first one out of the four to step out in the cold air, he takes a deep breath before turning around to see the other three boys walk up to him. He notices that Alex pulls his jean jacket tighter around his body, clearly not enjoying the cold air as Bobby does. He smiles at Bobby and then follows Reg and Luke who started walking towards the side street where they parked the van before the concert. The two boys talk animatedly about the Green Days show, analysing every detail. Seeing one of their favourite bands live did distract the two enough for them to not ask any further questions, right now. Alex smile tells Bobby that the same did not count for the blonde boy. Bobby jogs up to Alex to walk beside him, but when he tries to initiate a conversation with his bandmate, the blonde just shakes his head and mumbles, that he has things to think, but as if to calm Bobby down, Alex takes his hand and squeezes it before they reach their van. The van they brought because they actually started to be able to book enough gigs to pay for it (and to actually need it), they all paid for it, even though they don’t talk about the fact that Bobby paid the biggest part, with him having the only parents who actually support the band.

Bobby is driving, with Alex in the passenger seat lost in his thoughts and Luke and Reggie in the back, trying to get Bobby to finally tell them about what happened at the venue. The guitarist promises to tell them as soon as they arrive at the garage, but despite the impatience from Luke and Reggie to find out about everything they still have a quick stop at a small diner on their way home to get their after-concert food.

Alex, Reggie and Luke all go straight for the couch while bobby prefers sitting on the floor, facing them. For a few seconds they all munch happily but soon Luke starts bugging Bobby about what happened at the club, so he puts his sandwich aside and takes a short breath. He doesn’t know where to start, he kind of wants Alex to know that he got the CD for him, but he doesn’t want to put any pressure on Alex, nor does he want the other two to find out about Alex liking boys before Alex wants them to.

“So,” Bobby starts, “we all really liked Pansy Division, right?” he asks with a nervous laugh tinting his words. He looks at the three boys on the couch for confirmation and gets it from two of the boys while Alex looks like he gets scared by the simple indication that he might have really liked the queer band they all saw tonight. Bobby acts like he didn’t see it while deciding, that he won’t tell the blond that Jon was hitting on him. That might be a bit much information for one night. “Well, I thought,” he continues while pulling out the CD he brought earlier “I’ll get us their CD.” He waves the CD then places it on the table in front of the couch so the guys can look at it.

“And that’s where I met one of the band members, Jon, he is the singer.” He looks up at his friends who all stare at him with a mixture of shock and curiosity on their faces, even Alex nervousness seems replaced. ‘I didn’t even get to the really shocking parts yet’, Bobby thought to himself.

“Okay, so we got talking, he found out I play in a band and when he asks for a name to use to sign the CD I just said Sunset Curve, because we always share records, like I mean I don’t even know who owns what anymore!” Luke looks dead serious while nodding his head, Alex starts smiling slightly and Reggie looks like he is trying really hard to separate their shared music collection in his head.

“Anyway, it turns out he saw one of our shows earlier this year and apparently, he was talking about one of our songs with Mike, but before you get too excited, I couldn’t ask him about it because that dick Andrew from my math class interrupted us. He called me a – eh, never mind” he stops himself, giving Alex a short glance – “he started calling me and Jon names and I kind of started making fun of him for using really outdated terms and when Jon laughed about that, Andrew hit him and then I hit Andrew and he hit me back and suddenly everything got crazy. Next thing I know is that I am behind the merch booth with Jon and Billie Joe Armstrong, and Andrew is being carried outside by security.” He tries to rush the words out fast enough so that Luke doesn’t stop him because of the band being recognised and Alex doesn’t stop him because he hit someone.

“And then Billie Joe finds out I am in Sunset Curve and he says something about it being good that more good people will keep the scene going or something and then he pretty much left to play the show and Jon gave me the CD and I went back to you guys so you wouldn’t worry too much.” When he finally finishes his story, he is staring at three really shocked looking faces.

“Mike Dirnt and Billie Joe both know of Sunset Curve?”

“Who knew Bobby is such a badass!”

“You hit Andrew?”

All three started talking at the same time, but then Alex stands up and he looks real mad and everyone else shuts up. Bobby looks at him. “Alex, I didn’t plan to, it just happened. I got so mad when he started calling Jon these awful names and when he hit him, I just snapped.”

“What about our no fighting rule, huh?”

“So, when someone is being super homophobic, I am just supposed to do nothing?”

At that moment Bobby realises that Alex didn’t process until now that Andrew was using homophobic slurs against Bobby and Jon. He sees Alex anger vanish from him in mere seconds, replaced by fear and sadness settling in his eyes. Lips pressed into a thin line Alex sits down on the couch again. It breaks Bobby’s heart to see his friend like this. They all stay silent for a while.

“What did he say?” Alex asks with a voice so quiet Bobby almost misses it.

“Alex,” he sighs, “I am pretty sure you don’t want to know!”

With that Alex's eyes, which were glued to his hands before, snap up and meet Bobby’s. “You know, don’t you?” Alex asks Bobby, seemingly completely forgetting that the other boys are in the room.

Bobby does not know what to answer, not wanting to make Alex come out because he feels like he has to, or because Bobby figured it out already. “I only know what you want me to know, everything else is just a hunch.” He finally settles on.

Alex laughs. “So, you definitely know, and I actually thought I was being subtle.”

“I still love you, you know that, right?” Bobby just needs Alex to know that. Even if this is a weird one, Bobby wants this to be the reaction Alex gets for his first coming out.

It takes Alex a few seconds but finally, he looks up again, searching Bobby’s face for any trace of him lying. As Alex realises that the boy in front of him means what he said he feels like the biggest wave of relief washes over him. This, black-haired, awkward and quiet boy in front of him, who buys CD’s from queer bands, punches one of his classmates because he was being a homophobic bigot to a complete stranger and whose first reaction to Alex half-assed coming out is to tell him that he still loves him. This boy, who is so uncomfortable with most people touching him, who still wants to hold all of their hands all the time, calling them grounding. This boy, who would probably punch more people to protect them because he gets crazy protective about the people he cares about. And suddenly it’s difficult not to start crying and Alex feels like his voice will break if he tries to talk so he just nods.

And in that second, knowing he has Bobby on his side for this, he decides that he wants them all to know. So, he gets up from the couch and “gets on the runway” as Luke likes to call Alex’ nervous walking occasionally. After walking up and down three times, he suddenly stops, turns to Luke and Reg who look super confused by what is happening and he blurts out “Iamgay” so fast that there was no way that any of the guys could’ve understood a single word. So, he takes a deep breath and repeats: “I am gay” while standing there, eyes closed, and breath held.

“Oh, that…” Luke starts, but he gets interrupted by Reggie who says: “That makes so much sense, that is why you were staring at Brian so much last year! That really confused me, man!”

“I was... I was not staring at Brian Denver!” Alex sputters embarrassment creeping in his cheeks.

“You totally were, you even knew who Reg was talking about right away!” Luke laughs and gets up to pull Alex in a big hug, squeezing him tight. Reggie gets a hold of them and pulls them down on the couch where he squeezes between them, and wooshes through Alex’ hair affectionately. Alex, now half sitting on the couch and half lying on Reggie looks up to Bobby, who stands awkwardly in front of the couch. As the other two notice Bobby as well they all kind of freeze in their cuddle pile. Even as Bobby was more comfortable touching his bandmates than he was with touching his parents, or literally anyone else, he still never expressed any interest in being part of a cuddle pile before. Seeing how all of his friends stopped as he approached, the guitarist started taking a step back, but Alex stopped him by holding out his hand for Bobby to take. It takes him a few seconds but finally, he lets himself being pulled on top of Alex into the cuddle pile and even though it feels strange at first he likes the feeling of Alex’ soft t-shirt under his cheek, Reggie’s arm around his waist and the smell of Luke’s cologne.

Later that night Bobby snatches a picture of his best friends still cuddling on the couch hours later, now all fast asleep. He hasn’t shown that picture to anyone except for his daughter when she finds out about the band 25 years later and he decides to tell her about the loves of his life, even if most people wouldn’t recognise them as it since it was purely platonic love. And even though he got married, he never loved anyone as much, with the exception of his daughter, as he loved the three boys who left him when he was just 17 years old.

The next day Bobby snatches a picture of Andrews black eye. He shows that picture to Billie Joe, backstage at an event he attempts without his best friends after the man recognises him as the kid with whom he punched a homophobe. After that Bobby leaves the event early, not being able to hold up the image of Trevor, too consumed by grieve and guilt. Guilt over not being able to protect them. Guilt over not dying with them. Guilt over using their songs.

[fandom-strumpet]

Hello you amazing human! Me having an unhealthy obsession with Kai Parker (and TV sociopaths in general) I am requesting like a Romeo and Juliet inspired story? It can be like the 1996 version of R and J and make it like modern? Idk I think you are talented and I love you and I want you to adopt me.

Here is a modern version of the 1996 Romeo and Juliet movie in the vampire diaries world. Story takes place in Mystic Falls.

Word Count: 11,032 OMG

The characters I have used/ re-written are:

Kai Parker in place of Romeo Montague from the Gemini Coven, Reader Cadell in place of Juliet Capulet from the Oasis Coven, Kai Parker's friends: Sampson, Gregory, Benvolio, Mercutio and Balthasar, The Cadell boys: Abra, Petruchio, Tybalt, The Father/ Priest, Reader Cadell’s nanny, Parents to Reader, Parents to Kai, Rosaline, The governor’s son aka Dave, Police Captain, news anchors

* * * * * * * * * * * *  Scene: Local gas station* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Kai Parker’s friends pull up to the gas station hooting and hollering. The ill tempered red head name Gregory shouts, 

“Those dogs called Cadells really piss me off! Any dog from that Oasis coven will make me angry enough to take a stand!” 

Sampson exclaims in response to his friend, “This quarrel is between our leaders...”

The red head interrupts “...and us their men! 

“I would be a tyrant, fighting the men and being merciful to the women by cutting off their heads!”

Gregory is mock outraged, “The heads of the women?”

Sampson turns up the car radio and the boys start to dance but stop abruptly at the sight of a black car. 

Sampson says, “Here comes the Oasis coven boys.”

Abra and Petruchio Cadell stare coldly. Sampson gulps nervously as Gregory nudges him mockingly.

“Fight back and take a stand, will ya?”

Sampson tries to hide his panic and responds, “Let them start the fight.”

The gas station door slams closed, BANG. The Parker boys jump at the sound, their attention drawn back to the Cadells who are laughing at the sight of the terrified group. Sampson brazenly flips them off out of embarrassment. Abra’s eyes look back in the mirror to see Sampson’s finger. Abra whips the car around full speed to block the Parker boys from escaping. He jumps out of the car and yanks Sampson out of his car. 

“You dare flip me off? Huh?”

“Yeah I gave the bird.” Sampson sneers.

“You dare to?!” Abra roars, gun drawn.

“You think the police will be on our side if I say yes?” Sampson turns to Gregory.

“Nope.” Gregory grimaces.

Sampson turns back to Abra stuttering, “Well I- I did give the bird. But I didn’t give it to you.”

“You want a fight?” Gregory asked.

“No I don’t want a fight,” Abra fake smiles.

Sampson turns to Gregory, “If you do fight, I will be by your side.”

Abra laughs, “Ha! Only you two? You can’t do better?”

“Uh...”

Just then, Benvolio comes back from the bathroom, and shocked by the scene pulls his gun out.

“Here comes our back up!”

“You fools!” Benvolio shrieks, “You don’t know what you’re doing! Let us keep the peace.”

“I hate peace.” Tybalt spits. He fires his gun at a child on accident, smacking the child’s toy gun to pieces. 

Benvolio panics and accidentally shoots a bullet near Tybalt’s head. Gregory shoots and nicks Abra’s arm when he attempts to move it away from his face with his magic. A gas tank explodes after a magically moved bullet hits it. A news van screeches around the corner going live with the gun fight and explosion. Tybalt corners Benvolio, placing a gun to his head.

“Look upon your death, Benvolio.”

Suddenly a burning light blinds Tybalt and the Police Captain yells through a megaphone. Police cars have surrounded the scene.

“Enemies! Place your weapons on the ground now! Stop using your magic!”

Tybalt looks to the police and stands down. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * At the police station * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Police Captain sits down at his desk, across from the leaders of the Gemini and Oasis covens. 

“This is the third time your covens have disrupted the peace of Mystic Falls in a brawl.”

Cadell’s lawyer tries to intervene, “Captain I can-”

The captain slams his fist down. “If you ever disrupt the peace again, I will personally see you both go to prison.”

* * * * * The Parkers are on an awkward ride back to their mansion * * * * *

Kai’s mother sighs and looks out the window. “Oh where is Malachai? Have you seen him yet today?” She turns to her husband. “I’m just glad he wasn’t at the fight today.”

Benvolio feels guilty and answers, “He’s been at the lake side. I saw him walking there this morning.”

Kai’s father scoffs, “He walks too much around there, crying like a child.”

“All he does is hide away in his room, penning himself up and shutting out the light to make it dark as night.”

The driver leans back, “Ma’am, I’ve just received word. He’s at the pier.”

Kai is eating a bag of pork rinds, looking out at the sunset. “Love is a smoke that leads to disappointed sighing. I will never be able to get her, the beautiful Rosaline. Niece of my enemy. Unflawed love would make me feel powerful and alive. But when one does not return the love, the love only creates sadness. Love is madness. Love is bitter tasting but keeps us preserved and alive with its sweetness.”

Back in the car the family continues to chat.

“It’s not healthy for Kai to shut himself away with this depressing behavior. He needs a friends counsel to get him over whatever troubles him.” Kai’s father urges Benvolio. 

“Let me out, I’ll talk to him and see if he will tell me what is wrong.”

Kai’s father gives an encouraging smile that disappears as soon as the door is closed. “Let’s go home.” He sighs.

* * * * * * * * * * On the beach * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Good morning cousin,” Benvolio tries to act casual.

“Is it really only morning?” Kai asks seriously.

“It’s a new day.” He tries to act cheery.

“Sad hours seem long...” Kai turns to Benvolio. “Was that my father that just drove off?”

“Yes Kai but...” Kai shakes his head and starts to walk off, Benvolio walking swiftly after him. “What sadness makes your hours long?”

“Not having the love of her. With her the hours seem short.”

“You have gentle love in your view, but in others it is a sign of tyranny!” He exclaims.

“Whose view matters on my love...” Kai pauses when he sees a TV, playing back the news report of the fight from last night. “You had a fight?”

“I -”

Kai interrupts, “Don’t give me an excuse. I’ve heard them all. It’s much easier to hate someone than to love them. You are wasting so much time on someone who does not care about you.” He storms off in a rage, going up to the sidewalk heading toward a night club. “Why do you love to fight and love to hate, creating conflict out of nothing? My heart is swept away by love but it weighs on me that I am bound to it. It is agony my cousin.” He screams at a bouncer and uses his magic to flick him aside into trash cans. “There is no love like the one I feel,” he dark chuckles, “What cousin? Not going to laugh?”

Benvolio says nervously eyeing the crumpled bouncer, “No...I’d rather cry.”

Kai smiles mischievously, “Good bye, cousin.” And he takes off running down the sidewalk.

Benvolio sighs and starts to pursue. Finally arriving home, Kai gets to a car and a man hurriedly gives him the keys. 

Benvolio cuts him off panting, “Tell me... who is it...that you love?”

“My sad heart is in love with a woman.”

“I knew it was a woman,” he rolls his eyes, 

“She’s a beautiful lady.” Kai pulls down his shirt to reveal a small tattoo that says ‘Rosaline’.

“Rosaline?!” Benvolio is surprised but impressed. “She is quite beautiful.”

“She does not love me back, her heart is well guarded.”

“Hmm.. You know what? Forget about her!”

“How can I forget about her?”

“Look at all the other ladies,” he motions toward the girls on the sidewalk. 

Kai laughs dismissively. “Good bye. You can’t teach me how to forget.”

Benvolio hurries and jumps into the passenger seat of the moving car. The boys head to a bar.

“She would be in just as much trouble as I would be anyway, being a Cadell and a Parker.” He continues, “I think I could keep the peace between our families though.” 

The bartender smiles. “It’s honorable of you to try, it’s too bad your families are fighting.

* * * * * * * * * * At the Cadell Mansion * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Cadell leader of the coven, your father, is set down at a meeting with the governor’s son, Dave. 

“So what do you say to my proposition?” Dave asks.

Cadell looks at the picture frame of his wife and daughter. “My daughter is still young and innocent. Give her 2 more years and then she will be a perfect wife.”

Dave is persistent. “Sir, girls younger than her are happy mothers.”

“Hmm,” Cadell eyes him hard, “And younger girls married too soon are blemished. She is my pride and joy. If you can woo her and get her consent then you have mine as well.” He comes around the desk to give Dave a fatherly pat on the shoulder. “I will hold a large feast tonight, join us and meet y/n.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * Back at the bar * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Benvolio and Kai have started playing pool. 

“Bring another lady into your sights and heart, then you will forget about her.” Benvolio hits a shot and Kai stops it with his hand, throwing it to hit other balls. “Are you insane?” Benvolio asks in mock outrage. 

“Insanely in love, yes.” Kai mocks back, stepping toward the bar.

An entertainment show is on the TV above, the female news anchor excitedly announcing. “Tonight the rich Cadell is hosting a great feast-” 

“A grand costumed event!” Her partner interrupts. 

The partner starts to read off some of the important guests who will be there. Rosaline’s name is on the list and Benvolio turns to Kai, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Looks like Rosaline will be there.” Kai grimaces as Benvolio continues. “Let’s go to the feast, it’s perfect. We can sneak in disguised and find you another woman who is even more beautiful than Rosaline.”

“More beautiful than her? Ha! There has never been a more beautiful woman since the dawn of time.”

Their attention is drawn back to the anchor. “If you’re not a Parker, come and drink some wine at the feast!”

Kai pauses to think. “Fine. I’ll go, but only to prove that no one can be more beautiful than Rosaline.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the Cadell mansion * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Y/N!!! Y/N!!!!” Your nanny yells. 

She rushes around the house trying to find you. You roll your eyes and sink down further into the bubble bath, ignoring her calls. Lady Cadell is trying to ready herself for the feast, going maniacal at the nanny screaming. She yells your name. 

“God’s sake nanny, where is my daughter? Tell her to come to me.”

“I’ve been calling for her ma’am but I still can’t find her.”

“Mother, nanny? You called?” You said coolly, feigning innocence as you stood there in your bathrobe. 

The nanny exclaims in shock, “Oh! Get dressed y/n!

“Just leave her alone. We will speak in private, you can stay as I need your advice.” Your mother looks casually into the mirror, examining her costume and continuing. “You know, y/n darling...I was about your age when I was married.” She turns quickly, unable to hide her excitement anymore. “The governor’s son wants to make you his wife! Isn’t that exciting?”

The nanny tries to take her side. “He is a charming young man, miss.”

“Oh the most charming and handsome!” Your mother giggles, her drinks obviously kicking in. 

“What-” you are too stunned as she speaks again.

She grabs your arm, “He’s coming to the feast tonight! To see you! He is a rich man, fall in love with him. You will become his and all that is his will become yours!”

The nanny asks you cautiously, “What do you think of his love?”

You choose your words carefully, not wanting to put your mother in a foul mood. “I’ll try to like him and see if there is anything likeable, but ultimately I will only marry him if you approve and give me the strength.”

A maid comes in. “Lady Cadell, the guests have started to arrive.”

She gasps in excitement. “Hurry y/n, get ready!”

The nurse leans in to whisper, “And don’t forget to enjoy yourself.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * Down by the pier * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kai Parker and a couple friends are sitting down at the pier, watching the bright lights of the Cadell mansion from across the lake. They hear a roar of a sports engine pull up and turn back to see who it is. Getting out of the car stands Mercutio, Kai’s best friend, dressed in drag. The boys practically fall over laughing as Mercutio pretends to be posing for paparazzi. 

“Now applaud!” He yells and whips out the party invites from his mini skirt.

“Holy shit dude, you did it!” Benvolio and friends jump up to grab them.

“I dunno.” Kai stands and continues to look out at the lake.

“Oh come on man! You have to go and dance.” He grabs Kai and starts to waltz. 

Kai laughs and shoves him away, “You can dance but I can’t, my heart is too sad.”

“Aw, poor heart broken child.” He mocks.

Kai looks at the stars. “Is love soft, or rough harsh and rude?”

Mercutio jumps on his back. “If love is rough with you, then be rough with it. Beat it down.”

“Your love is crushing me cousin.” Kai laughs, starting to fall down. 

Benvolio honks the horn impatiently. “Come on! We’re wasting daylight!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the feast * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The boys pull up hooting and hollering. Waltzing inside, it is obvious that Benvolio and another friend have already started drinking. Kai walks in calmly, looking at the dance floor. Mercutio dances with a woman and passes her off to Kai.

“Come on, every guy should have the chance to dance.”

A Cadell boy drunkenly strides up to Kai who is dressed as a knight. He puts an arm around him, not recognizing him to be a Parker. 

The Cadell yells out, “Musicians! Play us a song!” 

Kai felt as if his heart would burst out of his chest at any moment. He quickly ducks out of the boys grip, abandoning the lady and tries to find an area away from the crowd. As he is walking he spots an angel. A literal costumed angel in the form of you. You are wandering through the crowd aimlessly when you spot him. Kai stares back at you, his plump lips forming a smile. His brown hair falling to the side, frames his perfect face. In that moment you knew he was the one. A yell disrupts your focus and you turn to see the nanny calling you. 

“Y/N!”

You look back for the mystery boy but he has vanished. The nanny starts to drag you toward Lady Cadell and Dave, the governor’s son. 

He extends his hand, “Will you dance with me?”

Knowing you can’t decline, you place your hand in his. 

Your mother trills, “Oh such a fine young man.”

Kai didn’t know how it had happened but in one moment he had lost sight of you. Rushing through the crowd to find the angel again, he accidentally bumps into a Lucifer. Little did he know, the man dressed as Lucifer was Tybalt. 

Tybalt then turned to Abra. “How dare Malachai come to a Cadell event. He mocks us with his mischief and antics. I will not consider it a sin to kill him in order to protect our coven’s dignity.”

He starts to storm off when your father Cadell stops him with a strong arm. “Where are you going off to?”

“It’s Kai Parker, he’s here.”

“Calm yourself, Tybalt. Don’t ruin this night, be peaceful in this house. Tolerate him for tonight and don’t waste your time on him. He’s not worth it, save it for another night.”

“I won’t tolerate him!”

Cadell rages, “You will! You will behave and stay out of any fights!” He shoves Tybalt. “You are making a scene.”

An older couple looks on shocked and Cadell tries to regain his composure. Comforting the couple he turns.

“Don’t worry, cheer up and have some drinks.” 

They smile heartily and walk away. Turning back to Tybalt, he harshly whispers. “I am the leader of this coven and you will obey me. Now go away.” 

Kai spots you on the dance floor once again, but this time you are with a man. He whispers, “I have never known what love truly means until I have spotted this angel. I take back and disown the idea of love I had for Rosaline.”

Even dancing with Dave you were still distracted by looking for the handsome mystery boy. Then you spot him again, your eyes connecting. You quickly look back to Dave, not wanting to seem too distracted but within a moment you were back to staring at the boy over his shoulder. The lights black out, colorful spotlights turn on as confetti and balloons rain down. You had stopped dancing. You let out a gasp as a hand suddenly yanks you behind a curtain. There stands Kai, he pulls you close to his body so your chests are almost touching. 

“Your hand is so clearly holy, if I offend you by touching it with my rough unholy hand, then let me make it better with a kiss.” Kai woos.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You holding my hand is a sign of devotion. Placing our hands together is a palmer’s kiss.” 

“Might I suggest we do with our lips what we do with our hands?” Kai kisses your lips sweetly. “Now my sins are gone.”

“Oh but now your sins are on my lips and the only thing that can make it better is another kiss.”

Kai kisses you once again. “There, now all is right.”

“You are very clever in coming up with reasons to steal kisses from me.”

Suddenly the nanny interrupts. “Y/n, your mother wants a word with you.”

You head toward your mother, and wave a hand, signaling Kai not to follow but he trails anyway. Kai watches the nanny and you head up the staircase instead of leaving like the guests. At the top is a furious Lady Cadell standing with Dave. Your eyes dart nervously to Kai as your mother starts to harshly whisper in your ear. She pullls you away from the stairs and that is when it dawns on him.

“She is a Cadell?” he whispers under his breath. 

You stop to look back at Kai and the nanny whispers in your ear. “HIs name is Malachai Parker from the Gemini coven.”

You feel a coldness fill your chest, disappointment and reality crashing down. Mercution runs up and claps a hand on Kai’s shoulder. 

“The party is starting to break up, we need to leave now so we don’t draw the attention of the Cadells.”

“It’s what I thought, yet I’m still dissatisfied.”

Mercutio ushers him out to the waiting car while Kai looks back over his shoulder longingly. As Mercutio starts to drive the boys away, noisily singing, he spots you in the window. 

You see Kai and whisper, “My true love is born from the coven that I’m born to hate. I fell in love too soon and now it is too late to hate him. It is such a large degree of love, that I must love my enemy.” 

You close the window and lean your head against the glass, unable to take your eyes off Kai’s disappearing form. Down below in the doorway stands Tybalt, also unable to take his eyes off the enemy.

“I will obey my uncle tonight. Malachai’s intrusion may seem sweet but it is bitter and will come back to poison us in the end.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * Out at the car * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

There is a traffic jam from all the cars trying to leave. Kai sighs and whispers beside his noise raucous of friends. “How can I leave here when my heart stays behind? I have to go back.”

Kai leaps out of the slow moving car and Benvolio yells.

“Kai! Where are you going?”

Kai is running back along the road, using the cars and bushes as a way to shield himself from the guards’ view. He stealthily climbs vines and leaps onto the other side of the stone wall bordering the property. Mercutio pulls the car around in front of the gates that are swinging shut. 

Benvolio points out, “I think he ran that way. Call his name!”

“I’ll do you one better,” Mercutio laughs. Jumping out of the car he dances in front of the gate swaggering like a flirtatious drunk lady. “Oh Kai!” He calls in a falcetto voice, “It’s me Rosaline! Come to my plump lips, my bright eyes and my long legs and quivering thighs!”

The boys cheer Mercutio on. Kai smiles at his calling. 

“He makes fun of love scars that are non existent.”

The boys are now laughing hysterically at Mercutio swooning around like a love sick fool. The fun is cut short when a security guard yells and a spotlight comes to life, pinning Mercutio in its beam. 

“Alright boys, let’s go.” He quickly hops into the car and they speed off. 

Outside the rear wing of the house, Kai creeps near the pool, taking cover when a bright light comes on.

“But wait, what light shines through that window?”

Almost in response, the balcony doors open and you step out still in your angel robe. You start to walk near the pool, unaware of Kai hiding in the shadows.

He whispers, “Y/n is the sun, rising in the East and killing the jealous moon. She is far more beautiful than any others.”

You sit on the pool ledge, legs dangling in the still water.

“It is her! My love!”

You sigh. Looking longingly to the stars you ask, “Oh Malachai, my Kai. Where are you? Deny your father and rebuke your name, or if you will not, my love, I swear I will no longer be a Cadell.”

Kai whispers, “Should I say something or remain silent?”

Starting to pace you continue, “It’s only your last name that is my enemy, but you, yourself are not a Parker. But what is a Parker? It is not a body part of a man. Why can’t you have some other name! What is a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. So if Kai, if not called called Kai Parker, would be just as perfect. Kai, lose your name. Trade in your name, which has nothing to do with you, and take all of me in exchange.”

“I will take all of you in exchange at your word!” Kai steps out of the shadows and calls wildly. “Proclaim your love for me, and you can call me whatever you want!”

You scream and topple backwards, Kai tries to balance you out by grabbing your hand but is instead plunged into the pool with you. A security guard moves toward the pool area and you wave him away. assuring that everything is fine.

“Kai, why did you hide in the darkness and listen to my private thoughts?”

He puts his hands up in a calming gesture. “My own name is so hateful to me, if it were written on a piece of paper I would rip it up.”

“I have not heard you speak over a hundred words, but I recognize your voice and have memorized it’s sound. Should I not call you Malachai? And a Parker?”

“Neither my love, if you don’t like the names.”

“How did you get over the walls? If any men of my coven find you here, they will kill you.”

“The darkness of night will hide me, besides let them kill me. I would rather due than live without your love.” Kai leans forward, you kiss long and greedily until you push Kai away.

“I’m glad it’s night so you can’t see how embarrassed I am that you over heard me gushing about you. Part of me feels I should pretend I am not interested, as that is how proper ladies would act. But it is too late for that, do you love me?”

Kai starts to speak but you silence him and continue. “I know you will say yes and I believe you. Swear to me so you can’t be proven false my sweet Kai. Say it faithfully. If you think I’m too quickly won over then I will frown and see you no more, no matter what ends of the earth you may go to win me back. Honestly... I favor you too much, you may not believe me but I’ll prove myself to be more true and loyal than any other woman.” 

“My love, y/n, I swear by the moon, that lights the night so beautifully.’

“No, don’t swear by the moon for it constantly changes.”

“What should I swear by?”

“Do not swear at all. But if you dare to, swear by yourself. You are my idol and I will believe you.” You touch his cheek with your palm and Kai moves his lips close to yours.

“If my hearts dear love-”

Confused, you break away. “Do not swear then. I take joy in you, but not in a rash, sudden contract. We need to slow down, we don’t have to rush into anything. We should take our time and see where this love goes.”

Another light turns on and the nanny begins to call. “Y/N!” You rush up the pool stairs.

“Will you leave me so unsatisfied?” Kai tries to keep up.

You scoff and give a shocked expression, “What more satisfaction do you want tonight?”

“I would be satisfied if you promised me your love so we could exchange vows and be married.”

You run joyously into Kai’s arms. “I will gladly exchange vows with you and promise my love!” You kiss fiercely and passionately before being interrupted by the nanny’s yell again.

“Y/N!!”

“Good night dear Kai. If you really intend to marry me, send word tomorrow. I will come to you, tell me what time and place. I will leave all my fortunes behind and follow you all over the world.”

“Y/N!”

“I’m coming!” You holler. “A thousand times goodnight.” You kiss again and finally run inside. You reappear at the top of the balcony. “Kai! What time should I come to you tomorrow?”

“By 9 o’clock!”

“I will be there! Good night sweet Kai until tomorrow. Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

“Sleep well my lovely y/n.” Kai blows kisses to you and heads back toward the wall to take his leave. 

* * * * * * Morning time in a greenery * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A priest is giving an herbology lesson to some young boys. 

“Plants, herbs and stones are a beautiful thing.” He makes a small cut in the bulb of a purple flower. “In this flower, lies a poison while also having the power of a medicine.” He carefully puts the sap in a beaker. “It smells lovely, but if tasted, can stop the heart. Our lesson is done.” 

Turning to put the beaker away in the fridge, he pulls out a jar of candy. Looking at them sternly, the boys take their candy and scram. The Father starts to watch the TV but his thoughts are interrupted by Kai knocking on the door frame. 

“Good morning Father.”

“Good morning! Why do you come so early in the morning to see me?” The priest studies Kai for a minute. “It is very early for you to be getting out of bed, and if I guess right it means that you never went to bed last night!”

Kai follows the priest as he starts to walk through the empty church. “It’s true, I never slept because I was enjoying the sweet night.”

“God have mercy on you! Were you with Rosaline?”

“With Rosaline? Father no. That name is out of my mind and long forgotten.” 

The priest starts to lay out preparations for communion. “Good my son, so where have you been?”

Out of old habit, Kai starts to help him. “I was feasting at my enemies house. So suddenly I was wounded by love and now both of ours only cure can come from you. I gave no hatred, and your power will benefit my enemy.”

“Speak clearly. Tell me what you mean. I do not know how to help you if you speak in riddles.”

“I am in love with the leader Cadell’s daughter. I love her and she loves me. We’ve promised our love to each other but we need you to make it official. I’ll tell you more later about where and when we met, how we fell in love. But I’m begging you to marry us today.”

The priest stands there a moment, thunderstruck. Two of the young boys enter in robes and he dismisses them. They get the message and bolt. He turns back to Kai, still stunned.

“Holy Saint Francis! This is such a sudden change. Have you given up on Rosaline so quickly? The one you claimed you loved? Young men love with their eyes and not their hearts. How many tears did you waste crying over Rosaline? I can still freshly remember you crying to me about your heart’s woe. You’ve changed so suddenly.”

“You’ve always scolded me for loving Rosaline.”

“I did not scold you for loving her, but for obsessing over her.”

“Don’t scold me over y/n now, we truly love each other. Rosaline did not love me.”

“Rosaline knew you loved her but didn’t really know what it meant.” The priest sits down in a chair and looks off into the distance where the childrens choir are assembling. The priest is moved by the childrens singing and he turns back to a waiting Kai. 

“Come with me, I will help you with your secret wedding. If we’re lucky it may turn the hatred between your covens into love.”

“Then let’s go, I’m in a rush.”

The Father stands and looks down on Kai, “We need to be smart about this and take it slowly. We don’t want any slip-ups.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the beach * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Benvolio and Mercutio are arguing. 

Mercutio snaps, “What do yo umean Kai didn’t come home last night?”

“I spoke to my uncle’s maid, she said Kai never came home.”

“He’s so obsessed with Rosaline, he’s gone insane.” Benvolio paces the sidewalk, “Tybalt sent a message to Kai’s father’s house.”

Mercutio interrupts, “I bet it’s a challenge.”

Benvolio stops pacing. “Do you think Kai will take up the challenge?”

“Anyone can write a letter demanding a challenge. But it takes a true witch to demand a fight with a siphoner like Malachai.”

“Kai is daring enough to challenge Tybalt.”

Kai’s car pulls up beside the lake’s parking lot. Benvolio heads toward him.

“Here comes Kai! Here comes Kai!” 

Mercutio saunters up the beach with mock chalance. “Bonjour Kai,” he speaks with an accent, “You gave us quite the slip last night, no?”

“Good morning to you too. What slip did I give you?” Kai feigns innocence.

“WHAT SLIP? You gave us the slip last night, are you mad?”

Kai grins smugly. “Oh my apologies, Mercutio. I had a great time, thanks for asking. It was very important business, I didn’t have time to say a proper goodbye.”

“Oh I’m sure you were kept quite busy last night.” He jokes and Benvolio hoots, jumping on Kai’s back.

“Oh shut up.” Kai shoves him off into the sand. “I’ll fight you.”

Mercutio flicks sand at him and starts to run down the beach. Kai laughs and starts to chase. Kai gains on Mercutio and dives into the sea, following him. 

“See, isn’t this better than groaning over love?” Mercutio splashes and Kai tries to dunk him underwater. “You’re much happier now!” He walks onto the beach, “Come on Kai.”

Kai tackles him onto the wet sand and Mercutio suddenly becomes serious. “How happy you are now, is who you naturally are.”

A shadow falls over the boys and there stands the nanny in a bright red ‘disguise’. 

“God, you are a beautiful woman.” Mercutio remarks, bemused at the sight.

The nanny ignores him and speaks to Kai, “I need to speak privately with you.” 

Kai gets up and starts to follow the woman up to a black car waiting in the parking lot. Mercutio looks questioningly to Benvolio who shrugs. “Maybe he’s going for dinner?” Mercutio yells at Kai, “Come home for dinner!.”

Before stepping into the car he yells back, “I will be there soon!”

“Goodbye old dragon lady!” He jests, blowing her a kiss.

* * * * * * * * * * * * In the car * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The nanny leaned in uncomfortably close to Kai and whispered harshly, “If you lead y/n on, treat her poorly or break her heart like a delicate tea cup then you will suffer an ill fate.” 

She leans back to her seat and there is a silence. Kai chooses his next words carefully. “Ask y/n to come to confession today. The Father will hear her out, absolve her sins and we will be married.”

* * * * * * * * * * The Cadell mansion * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You are waiting excitedly in your room, looking for the nanny’s arrival. The black car pulls into the driveway and out steps the nanny. 

“Here she comes!” 

You bolt from from your room to meet the nanny at the staircase going to the rear of the house. You burst into the kitchen following her where she proceeds to start looking in the fridge. 

“What did he say?” You ask again impatiently, “Nanny! What did he say!”

Stepping away from the fridge the nanny sets food down on the counter. “Let me rest a minute, I am tired and hungry.”

You continue to plead, walking to her. “Please tell me! Is it good news or bad?”

“My God, why such a hurry? Can’t you stay here and talk for a while? I am out of breath.”

You cannot stand the suspense anymore. “How are you out of breath? Tell me! Is it good news or bad? Just tell me that much!”

The nanny sits and take a big bite of her sandwich, talking between chews. “You’ve made a simple choice of a man. You don’t know how to pick one. He is a very handsome and attractive young man but he doesn’t have the best manners and composure. However, he has a gentle spirit and nature. Have you had something to eat yet?”

“I already know those things about him, tell me more! What does he say about our marriage?”

“Oh dear, I feel a headache coming on, and my back aches...”

This is a game you know well. You climb onto the back of the recliner, setting down so you can massage her,

“Ooooo yes! Get right there!”

You then coo sweetly, “Oh sweet nanny, what does my love say?”

“He is an honest man, kind, handsome and virtuous. Where is your mother?”

You crack. “Where is my mother? That’s your reply?! My love says like an honest gentleman, ‘Where is your mother?!’”

The nanny pouts, “Calm yourself y/n!”

You explode in frustration. “How can you tell me to be calm? WHAT DID KAI SAY?”

The nanny goes quiet for a moment. “Do you have time to go to confession today?”

“I do.”

“Then go to the priest, Kai awaits there to be a husband and make you his wife!”

With a scream of joy, you hug the nanny.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the church * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The priest shakes his head. “Such extreme emotions about this kind of pleasure often ends in disaster. Even the taste of too much honey can become sickly because it is so sweet.” He looks to Kai. “So love carefully and long may your love live.”

You push through the oaken double doors to the church. The priest cues up the choir and beckons for you to come to the altar.

“Good afternoon Father.”

Before the priest can reply, you and Kai kiss passionately. He wait just a moment then delicately interrupts you.

“Come, come and we will make this quick. Because, if you don’t mind, I’m not leaving you two alone until you’re married.”

You and Kai exchange vows and rings. The priest follows the two of you out, throwing hand fulls of rice. Your driver takes a perfect picture as the bride and groom kiss. He holds the car door open and you reluctantly get in. As the car drives away, Kai runs along side it until he watches the big car speed away. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the beach * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mercutio stands knee deep in the water fishing. Benvolio shelters himself from the heat under a life guard tower.

“Come on Mercutio, let’s go. It’s too hot!”

Mercutio ignores him and continues fishing with his gun. Benvolio looks around nervously hoping they don’t draw the attention of the Cadells.

“The Cadells are out, and if they see us, we won’t get away without a fight.”

“You are like one of those men who enter a bar and put their gun down on the table saying, ‘I pray I never have to use you’ but by the time he orders his second drink, he pulls the gun on the bartender for no reason at all.”

Benvolio doesn’t find him funny and turns away when a black Sedan rolling up stops him cold. “Oh great, here come the Cadells.”

“Well, well, I don’t care,” Mercutio drawls.

The car slides to a stop only feet away from where Benvolio stands. Tybalt, Abra and another Cadell emerge from the vehicle and step toward the Parkers menacingly.

“Good day gentleman, can I have a word with one of you.”

The rest of the Parker boys stand nervously at Tybalt’s words. Mercutio responds wittily, “You want just one word with one of us? Put it together with something else. Make it a word and a blow.”

“You’ll find me ready enough to do that sir, if you give me a reason.” 

Tybalt’s hand moves to rest on his gun handle. Mercutio stops jesting upon spotting the firearm.

Breathily he asks, “Could you not find a reason without me giving you one?” 

The Parker boys start to snicker again and Tybalt snaps. “Mercutio you hang out with Malachai.”

Mercutio’s anger grows. “Hang out? What do you think we are, a bunch of musicians? If I am a musician, then this is my fiddlestick,” he motions to his gun, “And I’ll use it to make you dance.”

Benvolio tries to mediate, “We’re talking in a public place. Either go someplace private, or it talk it over rationally or just go away. Out here everyone can see us.” 

Mercutio retorts, “People’s eyes were made to see things, so let them watch. I’m not moving to please anybody.”

Just then, Kai arrives in his car, heart full of happy news.

Tybalt walks away from Mercutio, “Nevermind you. Here is the man I am looking for.” He calls out to the approaching Kai, “Malachai, there’s only one thing I can call you. You are a villain!” Pulling his jacket aside, Tybalt reveals his gun to Kai.

“Tybalt, I have a reason to love you, let me put aside the hatred and forgive your remark. I am not a villain. So good bye. Clearly you do not know who I am.”

Kai turns and walks back to his car, surprising everybody. Tybalt is confused and outraged, hurling himself back into his Sedan. He kicks the car in a U-turn, slamming into Kai’s car. Kai locks the car as Tybalt gets out to beat down on it. He smashes the passenger window and hauls Kai out.

“Boy, your words can’t excuse the harm you’ve done to me!” Tybalt punches Kai across the face, sending him sprawling to the ground. “Turn and draw your gun!” He yells.

Kai shakily lifts himself from the ground, feeling his busted lip. Speaking through his bloody teeth, Kai answers. “I never hurt you. And so, good Cadell - which name I care for more than you can understand,” Kai cautiously pulls out his gun, “be satisfied.” He throws the gun to Tybalt’s feet.

The Parker boys can’t believe their eyes as Kai starts to walk down the beach. An angered Mercutio steps forward.

“This calm submission in dishonorable and vile!”

Tybalt grows angrier, handing Abra his weapon and sprinting down the beach after Kai. In a bone cracking collision, Tybalt tackles him to the ground near an abandoned life guard house. The boys run to catch up while Kai still refuses to fight and runs up the stairs. Tybalt trips him and he careens into the old wooden railing, smashing it to pieces. Tybalt kicks savagely at him, willing him to fight back. Mercutio runs after him, picking up a piece of wood from the broken railing and hitting him across the head making him fall down. 

“Tybalt, you ratcatcher!” Will you go and fight me?”

“What do you want from me?” Tybalt swings a lump of wood and Mercutio dodges. 

“Why, King of Cats, I want to take one of your nine lives. I’ll take one and depending how you treat me after that, I might beat the other eight out of you too.”

Tybalt swings his wood again and Mercutio blocks, throwing the stick away. Tybalt, now empty handed, charges and slams him against a window shattering the glass. Mercutio is back on his feet lightning fast. He raises a rock, ready to smash in his head when Kai rushes between them.

“Stop this fight Mercutio!”

Seizing his opportunity, Tybalt lunges up and aims to slash Kai with a piece of broken glass. Instead, he misses and slashes Mercutio across the stomach. He screams out in pain, grabbing his side. Everyone goes quiet. Abra tugs at a stunned Tybalt.

“Let’s go Tybalt!”

The pair bolts for their car and Benvolio goes to Mercutio.

“Are you hurt?”

Mercutio covers his wound and laughs, “Yes but it is just a scratch.”

Kai helps him get down the stairs. “Have courage, the cut can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not as deep as a well or as wide as a door, but it’s enough to do the job.” Mercutio jokes, “If you ask for me tomorrow, you’ll find me a very grave man. Goddammit! I can’t believe that rat could scratch me to death!” He says through crazed laughter.

He now turns his attention from the cheering boys to Kai who is struggling to support his weight.

“Why the hell did you come between us? He struck me under your arm.”

“I thought it was the right thing to do.” Kai starts to panic.

Mercutio pushes himself away screaming, “May a plague fall upon both your covens! They’ve turned me into food for the worms. I’m done for. Curse your families!” 

He collapses to the ground and Kai kneels, cradling his best friends dead body. Thunder booms and it starts to sprinkle, turning into a heavy rain. 

Benvolio whispers, “Mercutio is dead.”

Kai cries out, “Oh sweet y/n! Your beauty has made me weak, you have softened my bravery when before I was hard as steel.”

The sound of Tybalt’s car peeling off brings back cold reality. Kai’s sadness turns to uncontrollable rage. He runs to his car, in an effort to head him off. The rain is now blinding but Kai stops for nothing. Pedestrians scream and cars screech to a stop. He rounds a corner and slams into Tybalt’s car, veering out of control. Tybalt scrambles from his car and Kai runs toward him. Tybalt draws his gun but Kai continues to march on.

“Go on! Kill me so I can join him!” 

Tybalt nervously starts to walk backward.

“Either kill me or I will kill you!”

He shakes his head in panic, Kai flicks his wrist sending Tybalt’s gun into the air.

“Why did you come between us?”

Kai remains silent. Police cars screech to a halt, surrounding the area. The gun lands back in Kai’s hand and he fires three shots.

“Put down the weapon!” A police officer calls through a megaphone. 

Tybalt’s body collapses to the road. A cop fires, grazing Kai’s arm and he screams. 

“Oh! I have awful luck!”

A strong gust of wind and rain blinds the police. Balthasar drives up and starts screaming.

“Don’t just stand there! Come on!”

Kai quickly slides into the passenger seat, holding his wounded arm and crying. 

Lady Cadell pulls up to the scene and runs to crouch over the body. “Tybalt! Oh my sweet nephew. My family’s blood is spilled on the streets.” 

The Captain parts through the police line. “Where are the men who started the fight?”

A hand cuffed Benvolio is pushed forward. “Captain, I can tell you everything about the fight. Tybalt killed your relative Mercutio and then young Kai killed him.”

Lady Cadell begins to scream again. “Tybalt was my nephew! Oh my nephew is dead! Captain, you are honorable, take revenge by killing someone from the Parker family.”

The Captain ignores her and turns to Benvolio. “Benvolio, who started this fight?”

“Tybalt started the fight before he was killed by Kai. Kai spoke to him reasonably and didn’t want to start a fight but rather make a truce. Tybalt refused and was deaf to peace!”

Lady Cadell interjects savagely, “He’s lying! I want justice, Kai killed Tybalt so Kai must be killed!”

The Captain, losing his patience turns to the woman. “Kai killed him after Tybalt killed Mercutio.”

Malachai’s father, Sir Parker l arrives and begins to plead with the Captain as well. “Please Captain, don’t make Malachai pay the price. He was Mercutio’s friend. His death has been avenged by Tybalt’s. It is even.” 

The Captain eyes him coldly. “And for the crime of murder, Malachai is exiled from Mystic Falls. You have involved me in your rivalry. My nephew Mercutio is dead because of your bloody feud.”

“But Captain-” Parker starts to plead. 

The Captain silences him, “I will not listen to your excuses and your begging will not change my mind.” He turns to address his officers. “Tell Malachai to leave the city immediately or else if he is found he will be killed.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Your bedroom* * * * * * * * * * * *

“I wish the sun would hurry up and set already so night can come immediately. Because when the night comes and everyone goes to sleep, then my Kai will come to me, leap into my arms and no one will know. Gentle night, give me my Kai and when I die, turn him into the stars and make a constellation in his image. His face will make the heavens so beautiful that the whole world will fall in love with him. I belong to Kai now, this day has been so long, waiting for him.”

A car pulls up into the driveway and you rush down excited to meet the nanny. Your knees buckle and you fall to the ground at her news. 

“Oh god! Did Kai kill Tybalt?”

“He did, he did! This is a most cursed day!”

“He’s like a snake disguised as a flower. Was there ever such an evil book with such a beautiful cover? I can’t believe such evil lurked inside someone so beautiful!”

“There is no trust, faith or honesty in men. All of them lie, cheat and are wicked. Shame on Malachai!”

“How dare you wish shame upon him! He was not born to be shameful. He deserves only honor, I was an idiot to be angry at him.”

“How can you say such good things about the man who killed your cousin?”

“Am I supposed to speak badly about my own husband? Oh my husband! How could I speak bad of him when we’ve only been married 3 hours? Kai why did you kill my cousin? Probably because my cousin would have killed my husband. It is comforting to know my husband is alive, but I am crying still because he has been banished. This is worst than the murder of 10,000 Tybalts. No words can express my pain. Nanny, where are my father and mother?”

The nanny gets down to comfort you. “They are mourning the death of Tybalt. Go to your room, I’ll send Kai to comfort you. I know where he is.”

You look up through tears. “Please hurry and find him. Tell him to come and say his final good bye.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the church * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The priest leads the nanny into a bedroom. Kai lays on the bed, shirtless and bandaged.

“Nanny!”

The woman rushed to his side.

“Tell me about y/n. Where is she? Is she okay? What does my hidden wife say about our ruined love?”

“She doesn’t say anything. She just cries and cries. She falls down but when she tries to get up, she just calls your name and collapses again in tears.”

Kai has started to cry uncontrollably, “She calls out my name as if I were a bullet murdering her, just like her cousin.”

The priest shakes Kai, “I thought you were smarter and more rational than this! Your y/n is alive, you should be happy. Tybalt wanted to kill you, but you killed him. Be happy that you’re alive. You have been banished, not sentenced to death. Be happy about that. Your life is full of blessings.”

Kai has calmed down and the priest helps him get changed into a new white shirt. 

“Go. Go to your wife and comfort her. Get out of here before daybreak. Good night.” 

The priest ushers Kai out of the church and gives him one last handshake good bye. Kai and the nanny sprint towards the car.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the mansion* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dave stands by your father holding flowers awkwardly. Your mother comes down the staircase solemnly.

“She refuses to come out of her room.”

Dave replies calmly, “It’s understandable. These times of pain are bad for romance. Good night ma’am, give your daughter my regards.”

“I will. And I’ll find out what she thinks about marriage tomorrow morning but tonight she is shut up with sadness.” The three leave down the hallway.

* * * * * * * * * * In your room* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

You are softly crying into your pillow when you feel a hand gently touch your face. Your eyes dart up to see Kai standing above you. There’s a still moment of disbelief. Leaning down, Kai kisses away the tears that fall from your wide y/e/c eyes. Your lips find his and he gently sinks back into the bed with you.

* * * * * * * * * * Back in the living room* * * * * * * * * * 

Your father sits reclined in an armchair. Dave and your mother sit opposite him. He whips himself in a drunken frenzy of excited thoughts.

“My sir, I’ll make a desperate argument for my daughter’s love. I think she’ll do whatever I say- no - I think she’ll do that and more. I have no doubt about it. Wait- what day is today?”

Dave answers, “Monday, sir.”

“I will talk to her tomorrow about marrying you on Thursday. Does that sound good to you?”

Dave tries to catch up, stunned at the suddenness. Your father eyes him.

“Sir- I wish Thursday was tomorrow. It sounds wonderful.”

Your father raises his glass to toast and they stand. “Well go home. Thursday it is then.” He turns to your mother, “Go see y/n to prepare her. Tell her to get ready for her wedding on Thursday.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * Your room* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Morning time comes, shining light upon yours and Kai’s bodies tangles together. You lie blissfully asleep. Balthasar’s car quietly pulls into a side road near the estate. Sitting up suddenly, Kai wakes up remembering where he is. Sitting on the side of the bed he starts to get dressed. You silently wake up and climb onto his back, kissing him gently on the neck.

“You’re leaving already? The day has just begun.”

Kai turns and softly strokes your cheek. “If I want to live I must leave now, if I stay then I will die.” 

You sigh in resignation. “You’re right, you have to go. Now leave before it gets any lighter!” 

You frantically help Kai get dressed. You both freeze when there is an urgent knock on the door.

“Y/n!”

“Nanny!” 

“Your mother is coming to your room!”

You hurriedly usher Kai out to the balcony. 

“Good bye my love, one last kiss and I will leave.”

You caress his face and whisper. “Do you think we will meet again?”

“I have no doubt.” Kai smiles up at you and heads down the wall. 

You turn at your mother’s voice at the door. “Good morning y/n! Are you awake?” Your mother walks in right after you hastily flop back into bed. She crosses over to the window, opening the curtains to let light in. 

“You have a caring father. He has arranged a day of joy to end your sadness. A day you did not expect and that I did not look for.”

You try to play along. “What day is that?”

Your mother takes a deep breath in. “You will be married to the handsome and charming governor’s son! You will go to the church and there become his wife.”

You are too stunned, “By Saint Peter he will not make me his wife!”

A look of fear crosses your mother’s face. “Here comes your father, tell him that yourself.”

Cadell with a whiskey glass in hand, barges calmly into your room. “Have you told her what we have decided?”

“Yes, but she refuses to and says thank you. I wish the foolish girl was dead and married to her grave.”

Your father becomes dangerously calm. “How could she refuse? She should be grateful and proud of the match we’ve made. She’s not worthy of the gentleman.”

“I am not proud of what you have decided for me. I am thankful that you tried. I can’t be proud of something I hate, but I can be thankful it was done out of love.”

He thinks for a moment, then throws his glass across the room, shattering it against the wall. “You are a spoiled little girl and not really showing me any pride or thanks. You are going to get married to the governor’s son on Thursday. I will drag you there if I have to.”

You try to move into the hallway but he grabs your shoulders, shaking you. 

“Please listen to me...” you beg.

“NO! You will not speak back to me.” 

Your father throws you to the ground and you sob. His hand slaps you across the face. 

“Are you insane?!” Your mother retorts and he responds by backhanding her face.

“You disgust me y/n. My worthless daughter!”

The nanny gets between you and your father. “God bless her! You are wrong to berate her like that!”

Your father now furious, shoves the nanny aside and grabs your face up. “I’ll tell you what- you WILL get married at that church on Thursday or you will never show your face to me again. I will disown you and you can die on the streets, I swear to god!” He storms away down the stairs while you lay huddled on the floor. 

“Mother, please don’t disown me! Delay this marriage as long as you can or I will kill myself!”

She looks at her lip in the mirror and speaks softly. “Don’t talk to me because I will not say a word. Do whatever you want, I don’t care anymore.” Your mother turns and leaves.

You beg your nanny, “Please nanny! Tell me how I can stop this!”

The nanny doesn’t respond and sits in a heavy silence, moving towards you. 

“Please give me words of comfort!”

“Listen to me, I think it would be a good idea for you to marry this man. Malachai has been banished and can’t return unless he is undercover. I think you could be happy with the governor’s son, you are no use to Kai anyway.”

You stay still. “Do you honestly mean this?”

“I do.”

You decide to play along, despite the pain of faking. “You’ve comforted me a lot nanny. Tell me mother I am going to the priest to confess and be forgiven for angering my father.”

“Alright, I will. That’s a good idea.”

* * * * * * * * * * At the church* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The priest stands at the front of the church with Dave talking about what will happen on Thursday. 

“Her father wants us to rush and be married very soon.”

Just then you walk into the church, not expecting to see them there.

“Look! There is the woman who is my wife!”

“That might be the case sir, after I’m married.” You respond icily, one hand hidden resting on a pistol.

“That ‘might be’ will be on Thursday.”

“What must be will be.” You walk down the isle coolly.

The priest states, “That is a certain truth.”

“Did you come here to confess?” Dave inquires.

“If I answered that question, I’d be confessing to you, Dave.”

You and the Father turn to leave and Dave starts to excuse himself. “Y/n, I will marry you early on Thursday morning. Until then, good bye.”

You give him a stone cold glare as he leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“Keep this kiss, and goodbye for now..”

As soon as Dave left, you stormed into the backroom, the priest following your lead. “Y/n, I already know about your sad situation.”

“Tell me how I can prevent it, Father.”

“I’ve heard you must marry a man on Thursday and that nothing can delay it.”

“If you’re so smart but can’t help me, then you will call my solution smart and I’ll solve it by myself.” 

You pull the gun out and point it at your head. Horrified, the priest moves to stop you but you panic and point the gun at him.

“Hold on, y/n!” He holds out a soothing hand. “I have an idea. But we must act boldly because the situation is so desperate. If you’re so desperate you would kill yourself instead of marrying Dave, then you must be desperate enough to try something similar to death to solve this problem. Come with me to the greenhouse.

You obey, eager and desperate to try anything on the face of the earth to be with your love.

The priest holds up a little vial with a blue liquid in it. “When you are in bed, drink this. The sleep inducing drug will run through your veins and stop your pulse. Your body will turn cold, you’ll stop breathing and you become so pale, your family and Dave will think you are dead. You will stay like this for 42 hours and then you’ll wake up like you’ve only been sleeping. They will take you to the family vault. I will tell Kai about the plan and he will come to you and take you far away.” The priest cautiously hands you the vial.

* * * * * * * * * * * * Later that night* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

At a trailer park out of town a mail truck pulls up to a bland looking trailer. The mail man knocks loudly at the door with the letters from the priest. Kai is too busy with his headphones to hear the knocking. The mail man shrugs and slips a ‘WE CALLED’ note under the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * The Cadell mansion* * * * * * * * * * * * 

It is the night before the wedding and you stand in front of a mirror. Two od the maids hold up your wedding dress, fussing over which shoes match the best. Disinterested you point to a pair and satisfied, the maids leave.

“Nanny will you please leave me alone tonight?”

“Why?” The nanny asks as you guide her to the door.

“I have to say a lot of prayers so the heavens will bless me. You know I am troubled and full of sin.”

The nanny leaves, shutting the door. Confident that you are alone, you rush to the bedside table and pull out the glass vial. 

You whisper, “What if this mixture doesn’t work? Will I be forced to marry Dave?”

You cautiously begin to unscrew the tiny black lid. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. You palm the vial and turn to see your mother walk in. 

“Do you need my help?”

“No, we’ve already figured out what I’m wearing tomorrow. So if it’s okay with you, I’d like to be alone now.”

You slip into bed and your mother sensing your unease nods. “Good night then.”

“Good night!” Your words surprise her and she smiles, closing the door. “There’s a slight cold fear running through me. I have to go through with this.” 

You bring the vial to your lips and toss your head back. You have a sudden violent convulsion and then collapse backward, face painted with fear.

It is morning time, the sun light shines down on an ambulance and police cars in front of the house.

One of the medics speaks over the radio. “Drugs?”

The second medic responds, “Yes, a deadly amount. She overdosed.”

The family numbly enter the house again, wedding decorations mocking their pain. The priest enters your bedroom, kneeling by your side and quickly checks your pupils. He pockets the vial and looks toward the undertaker.

“She is ready to go to the church.”

The man dressed in black nods. “We will take her to the Cadell vault.”

Balthasar, hearing the news of your death, rushes away to tell Kai.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At the trailer park* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Kai is sitting at his table, writing in his notebook, still not paying attention to the ‘WE CALLED’ card. Balthasar’s car speeds to a stop in front of the trailer and an excited Kai rushes out. 

“What is it Balthasar?”

Balthasar is too stunned to speak.

“Did you bring me the letters from the priest? How is y/n?”

Balthasar does not know how to word what he has come to tell Kai, and looks away. “She’s not well, she lies dead in the Cadell vault.”

For a long moment, Kai is still and when he speaks, his voice is chillingly calm. “Is it really true?”

Balthasar nods. Kai turns and stares out into the distant wasteland.

“Then I hate the stars!” he moves to the car. “I have to see her tonight.”

Balthasar tries to hold him back, “Just wait-”

“Leave me alone!” Kai roars, pushing him against the car.

“You look pale and wild as if you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Well, you’re wrong. Leave me alone. Do you have a letter from the priest?”

“No I don’t.”

Kai shakes his head and smiles, “Nevermind. I’ll go see her tonight.” Kai hops into the passenger seat and Balthasar reluctantly gets behind the wheel. The car roars out of the park and Kai silently whispers, “I am coming to be with you tonight, y/n.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * At the church* * * * * * * * * * * * 

The priest speaks into a phone, concerned. “Did Malachai get my letter?”

The mailman responds, “No. He didn’t answer the door.”

The priest hangs up the phone and looks at the time. “I need to get to the vault, y/n will be waking up withing an hour.” 

* * * * * * * * * * * * At the cemetary* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Balthasar’s car pulls into the cemetary’s driveway and Kai hops out.

“Give me your flashlight.” Opening the trunk he pulls out a crowbar.

“Kai just listen to me.”

Kai turns around a punches him hard causing him to fall down, blood spilling from his nose. “Go and stay away from me or I will tear you apart!”

Balthasar rises slowly, both boys are trying not to cry.

“My plan is wild and savage, more fierce than a starving tiger.”

“I will go and leave you alone.”

Kai smiles and the boys hug. “Go live and be happy, good bye my friend.”

They part ways and Kai goes to the mausoleum, starting to pry the door open.

“You horrible mouth of death. You’ve taken the most precious girl on earth away from me. I will tear your jaw open.” 

Kai grunts and with a final heave, the door scrapes open. All is silent inside, flickering candle light the hallway.

“Despite my hatred for you beast, I’ve come to give you another body.”

Roaming the hallway he finds your coffin, collapsing to his knees he cries out. “Oh! How often are men happy before they die!”

* * * * * * * * * * * * Outside the mausoleum* * * * * * * * * * * * 

The priest thumps the steering wheel in frustration as he slowly pulls into the graveyard. “I am afraid something terrible is going to happen.” The priest shakes his head in horror seeing the vault’s door broken open.

* * * * * * * * * * * * Inside the mausoleum* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Kai pushes aside the lid and kneels by your figure. Moonlight streams in, lighting your beautiful face as you sleep.

“Oh my beautiful wife! Death has sucked the life out of you but it did not take away your beauty.” Unconscious tears fall from his eyes as he continues, “Ah y/n, why are you so beautiful? Should I believe death has fallen in love with you and he keeps you away from me? I hate that death, so I will stay with you and never leave this vault! Let me kiss you one last time!”

Kai kisses your lips one last time. Your hand twitches but he doesn’t notice. He pulls out a vial of poison he stole and drinks it quickly. He convulses and falls, his head resting on your body. Kai fights for breath and you wake up, becoming aware of Kai. 

“Kai? Is that you?” You sit up and cradle his head in your lap.

His clear wide eyes stare back up at you but he is unable to move, save for his weak breaths. You find the vial in his hand and start to cry.

“He drank it all and left none for me. I will kiss his lips, maybe there is some poison still on them to make me die with him.” You delicately kiss Kai on the lips. In a broken hearted whisper, “his lips are still warm.”

Desperately you both cling to each other. With all his might, Kai whispers, “Thus, with a kiss I will die.” 

His breathing stops, there is only silence from him as you sob, hugging his lifeless form.

“Malachai, oh my sweet Kai.” You look to the gun in his jacket.

* * * * * * * * * * * * Outside* * * * * * * * * * * * 

The priest hurries to the entrance of the vault when a gunshot rings out.

“God have mercy! Y/n? Malachai?”

His breath escapes him, coming upon the tragic scene. There, under the statue of Saint Peter, lie Kai and y/n. United again in death. 

THE END!

[thecursedhellblazer]

romantic headcanons.

name: John Constantine alias: Hellblazer, ConJob, The Laughing Magician, The World’s Greatest Con Man, El Diablo, The Constant One gender: male sexual orientation: pansexual romantic orientation: demiromantic

preferred pet names: John pretty much plays along with whatever nickname his partner(s) decide to use for him, from “classic” ones to whatever thing the people he’s seeing might have come up with. This means that even insults can become pet names, when used by his current partner, no matter how bad they can get. relationship status: single / verse dependant (I currently have a verse in which he’s building a poly relationship, another in which he’s (un)officially dating but it might get more than official at some point, and one in which he has a proper stable boyfriend)

opinion on true love:  John believes that a kind of love that comes close to be defined as such exists. He has experience a similar feeling in person a few times (with Nick and Zatanna, with Kit). However, because of his past experiences, he isn’t very confident on the fact that he’ll ever manage to find a way to keep that sort of relationship going. The closer someone gets to him, the worse fate awaits ahead of them or the deeper he disappoints them. opinion on love at first sight: John believes in “attraction at first sight”, but not in love at first sight. That’s in part because getting attached is often not an option for him. When it comes to sex and romance, he prefers going for something casual, with few string attached. It’s it’s safer and less complicated, and it hurts less with things inevitably fall apart. So, he isn’t one to fall fast for people. He wouldn’t be able to even if he tried (with a few exceptions). how ‘romantic’ are they?: John can be a romantic, especially if it’s something that his partner(s) enjoy. Personally, he likes doing some traditional couple stuff, like going out for dinner, going to concerts, having a picnic or even just having an aimless stroll around holding hands. He likes trying to play the cook and cooking homemade meals...even if the results aren’t always stellar. So, when he really cares for someone (or he is in love) John is…a lot of things. He tries to be charming, confident, playful and appealing, and he wines and dines his partner(s) as much as they allow him to. However, he can also be a huge, sometimes sappy dork. He’d go to hell and back, literally too, to try and make his partner(s) happy (and that’s part of his idea of romance too).

ideal physical traits: John’s tastes when it comes to his partners’ physical appearances are, to say the least, variegated. Considering that he finds attractive beings from very different species, it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly draws him to someone, physically speaking. He has a certain preference for inhuman traits, especially if they could be somehow harmful for him (he finds the thrill of danger is too appealing for his sake). Another thing that he likes, in humans and non-humans alike, is physical strength. He likes someone who can crush him and hold him down, or who can put up a fight when he does that. ideal personality traits: John enjoys someone who can match his wits, who is cunning and can challenge him, keep him on his toes. He’s also attracted to people who can be too straightforward and who are strong-willed and determined, bold and not easily deterred, perhaps because those are all qualities someone needs to have to manage to stay around him for a prolonged amount of time. He’s also drawn to people who are fierce and passionate or have strong emotions, but can also keep an open mind. He can appreciate if his partner(s) have a kind, softer, perhaps even nurturing side, because, whether he wants to admit it or not, he tends to cling and find solace in such affections.

unattractive physical traits: Again, it’s just as hard to pinpoint what John might not like as it is to find specific physical traits that he found more attractive (I mean, at some point he had sex with a bunch of sentients organs, for the gods!). He’s open to give everyone and everything a try (as long as it’s consensual), though not all the experiences turn out to be pleasant. Those, he tends to avoid the second time. unattractive personality traits: Dullness, excessive ignorance or lack of smartness. Hypocrisy, because John might be a liar, but that kind of behaviour irks him to no end. People who are too pretentious, who have a too high idea of themselves without having a good reason to justify it. People who force themselves on others, in any way. Someone who’s too obsessive (because of bad past experiences) or too self-absorbed to spare the effort every relationship needs to work out.

do they have a type?: Yes and no. He has a preference for whoever checks most of the boxes when it comes to what he generally likes in a partner, but every case turns out to be different. It’s also true that most of his lovers, though, held some sort of power over him, be it because they are strong (physically or mentally or “magically) or because they for some reason have the upper hand in the relationship. Strong-willedness and ability to call him out on his bullshit are other recurrent traits. opinion of public affection: When he’s fond of someone, John can get very touchy-feely, if not straight out handsy, around them, no matter if they are alone or in public. He is very much open to PDA, but he restrains himself if his partner prefers avoid them. The same can’t be said for when they are in private, because then any excuse (and even the lack of one) is good to gets his hands on whoever he’s seeing.

favourite canon ship: Uuuh, I’m going to say Nick / John / Zatanna. We don’t see much of it in canon, aside from their tragic falling out, but I like to think that they had a good run before everything fell apart. John was obviously so very in love with them both, and the three of them balanced each other well and were a positive influence in each other’s life, even if at the same times they also tended to bring out the worst in each other. For all those reasons and more, I love the verse I’ve been building with @adventurepunks​​ because it allows me to explore all the shades of their complicated relationship. I liked, even if not as much, John’s relationship with Kit. Though, I must say that I’m glad (for her) that it didn’t work out, because that wonderful woman deserves so much better than him (just as Zatanna). favourite non-canon ship: I have three main non-canon relationships. John / Demon John (which I write in my verse with @thedemonconstantine ) and that’s a pairing I also ship in general (meaning outside RPs). Then we have John / Oliver Queen, with @thegreenxrcher​​​ (and with her too I have a whole verse). Last but not least, John / Nick Sethson ( Devil OC written by @paradiseturnedhell​​​). Each of this ships has its own peculiar appeal to me and I could write an essay for each of them, but I’ll spare you all x’D However, I want to make some special mentions too. I have build a wonderful friendships (with occasional benefits) with @obsessionsarenotforheroes​​​ and her Jessica. I’m developing a ship (or should I say shipS? xD How does it even work with Marc xD) with @fistofhnsw​​​. John & @laughter-in-white​​‘s croptop J because their friends-with-benefits relationship is hilarious. And, finally, John and Koriand’r ( @blizzardmuses​​​...‘cause they kissed twice “for science” so it counts...right???)

*

tagged by: @laughter-in-white & @paradiseturnedhell tagging: @thegreenxrcher (one of the demons?) @fistofhnsw @adventurepunks @blizzardmuses​ @elisethetraveller​ @goldentemplariumcrow​ @seekthedarknesswithin​ - & whoever wants to steal this !

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

so i watched ‘the broken hearts gallery’...

Oh boy. Oh boy.

I want to be generous, I really do- for my baby Geraldine and my baby daddy Dacre, if no one else. I watched Blockers a while back, and anyone who’s been in my general vicinity for the last two months knows I have a hot, pulsating mega-boner for Stranger Things.

Two people I like as the leads of a movie? It’s bound to be great, right?

… Right?

I’m gonna be honest; I’m probably not the best audience for a rom-com. Grand gestures make me uncomfortable, and cheesy love confessions make me want to hurl. Myself. Into the fucking sun.

But I’m willing to overlook all that if the film is enjoyable (the first To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before movie is bottled sunshine and rainbows and unicorn farts). Which The Broken Hearts Gallery was… sort of. Moderately.

Maybe it’s the whole premise that didn’t work all that swimmingly for me. The first time I had my heart broken was on March 25th, 2015, when Zayn left One Direction; and I’ve hoarded plenty of trash memorabilia, from the first bus ticket I bought for myself to chocolate wrappers I got from my friends in the ninth grade. But I can’t imagine anyone else would be interested in my junk- and I’d definitely not give half a shit about anyone else’s.

Maybe this is why I’m a STEM major. I don’t get art people.

Secondhand embarrassment is an exquisite form of torture. Forget waterboarding; if someone replayed that part where Lucy storms into the bistro and makes a scene and Nick has to physically carry her out, I’d just keel over and die.

Geraldine did justice to what she’d been given. Lucy might not make it to my list of favorite leads, but she’s got a charm that kind of grows on you. Like a dandelion, sort of. Technically a weed, but nice enough.

Dacre’s acting came across quite stiff- even the way he walked as Nick seemed like he had a nail-studded baseball bat up his arse. If I’d first encountered Dacre in this movie, I’d’ve thought him in the league of Noah Centineo and whoever the fuck played Hardin in After. Thankfully, I know what he’s capable of (with great difficulty, I hold myself back from choking this with gifs from Stranger Things)- so this, my guy, is a prime example of Bad Writing- or, what I like to call, Who the Fuck Thought Normal People Talk and Act This Way.

Not all, but a decent amount of conversations felt stilted and awkward, and fairly cartoonish. Not to mention that ending, where everyone at the gallery becomes a fucking hivemind and chants… that’s just cult behavior.

[picture me flailing my arms wildly at this part] It’s just. No.

Also, not to be that asshole, but why on god’s green earth does Lucy take Nick to meet her mum? Why are there are so many retirement home scenes in YA?? This is YA, right???

And Nick just… casually plays the piano. Unprompted. Just… sits down and starts playing. Because people do that.

Circling back to my antipathy for grand gestures: how awkward would it have been if that sign Nick drags halfway across New York just flickers out and dies when he confesses? “I love you,” he says, and the thing just goes out. Poof. Just like that.

And this movie made me realize how fucking. much. I hate music montages.

That being said, The Broken Hearts Gallery was not devoid of merits.

I adored the characters, for one. Magpie Lucy was a bit too quirky at times, but Geraldine’s performance put her more to the cute side than the annoying one on the quirkiness scale. Marcos and his wife (… does she get a name? I called her ‘Obama lady’ in my head) and Jeff belong in my pocket.

The female friendships were wonderful. Gosh, I loved Nadine and Amanda (even though I called them ‘Lesbian Friend’ and ‘Psycho Friend’ for a solid 95% of the movie because I forgot their names haha oops), and I loved how they had more personality than other best friends in typical YA. Their dynamic was super sweet and lovable, and I adored them. Me. A heartless bastard. Maybe there is hope for me besides eternal damnation.

The actors had really good chemistry- despite Dacre’s less-than-stellar performance (please don’t attack me; I want the man to father my children- I’m only being this harsh on him because I know what he’s capable of and this was far from his full potential), him and Geraldine worked really well together, and made one of the few cishet couples in media that don’t make me want to put my head in a microwave.

I really liked the little callbacks to the beginning of the movie; Nick’s in the front seat and Lucy’s in the back seat when they first meet, but when they’re coming home from visiting Cheryl, they’re sitting next to each other.

And Jeff finally talking after being on his phone for nearly the entire runtime? That’s literally the cutest fucking thing ever. I love how enthusiastic he is over meerkats- tell me more about their itty-bitty little legs, you cinnamon roll, you.

And this scene. Just, this.

And I don’t want to go on for too long about Dacre’s voice, even though I probably am, but GOOD LORD the man could read a grocery list and I’d be on my knees. His gravelly voice is everything. Even though I had trouble understanding parts of what he’d said because of aforementioned gravel.

Was art gallery lady in Ugly Betty? I think art gallery lady was in Ugly Betty. It was nice to see an old white lady giving a young brown padawan advice, for a change.

Okay, I don’t know how to end this, so here are gifs of Dacre Montgomery from Stranger Things:

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics that involve a love triangle. We tried to choose fics where Louis or Harry have feelings for more than one person or have to make a choice between two or more people by the end of the fic. For each fic, we specified who the people competing for Louis’ or Harry’s heart are. We hope you enjoy all these fics. If you do, be sure to give the writers love and reblog this post! Happy reading.

1) We Are Wide Away | Explicit | 9091 words | Sequel | Harry vs. Liam

Liam watches Louis, his closed eyes, the way his skin is shining with moisture, the flutter of his lashes against his cheeks; when he looks up Harry is staring at him, watching him in turn.

2) Doesn't Have To Be A Real Thing | Explicit | 12532 words | Harry vs. Nick Grimshaw

In which Harry helps Louis get over his ex and it kind of becomes a regular thing. It’s totally casual – they have an understanding. But what happens to Harry when Nick reappears in Louis’ life?

3) Maps Can Be Poems When You're On Your Way | Not Rated | 18974 words | Harry vs. Liam

Harry falls in love with the guy his best friend is fooling around with.

4) Bloom | Explicit | 24887 words | Harry vs. OMC

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

When they first meet at Harry’s flower truck, Harry falls hard but Louis’ unavailable. Only before long, Harry reignites a spark that Louis thought long forgotten.

5) If This Is It, At Least We Can End It Right | Explicit | 26369 words | Sequel | Harry vs. Zayn

Note: The first fic isn’t endgame Larry, but the second one is.

Harry breaks Louis and Zayn's there to pick up the pieces.

6) Sweet Dreams Are Made of This | Mature | 29982 words | Harry vs. Zayn

Loosely based on The Wedding Date. Inspired by 27 Dresses. Basically, Fake Boyfriend AU with a twist. Louis' sister is unknowingly getting married to the ex who broke his heart. When faced with the prospect of turning up alone, Louis panics and hires a corporate escort named Harry. General chaos and epic jealousy ensues.

7) The Blood Is Rare And Sweet As Cherry Wine | Explicit | 33569 words | Harry vs. Henry Cavill

“Sex therapy?” Louis asks, cocking an eyebrow.

To his credit, the doctor doesn’t blush, “An extremely personal and efficient form of therapy, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“Oh?”

“Should you and your husband wish to, I would be eager to help you in any way I can offer.”

8) Maybe We're Perfect Strangers | Explicit | 39849 words | Harry vs. Niall

When an EDM festival in the Caribbean touts itself as a “life-changing and transformative experience,” Harry’s not too sure he buys into it. Regardless, Harry wants nothing more than to please his best friend, so he goes along for the ride. What he doesn’t expect is to fall head over heels for the festival’s organizer who Harry discovers is also the object of his best friend’s affections.

9) With Stars Of Brightest Gold | Explicit | 41109 words | Harry vs. Henry Cavill

Louis Tomlinson is the premier courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. In his dreams, he has always wanted to be a famous stage actor. Locked into his contract, he has little means of escape until a handsome duke promises him freedom with a romantic alliance. Due to a case of mistaken identity playwright Harry Styles is thrown into the mix, compelling Louis to choose between his head or his heart.

10) Some Things Take Root | Explicit | 50269 words | Harry vs. OMC

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

AU. Louis’ ex doesn’t get jealous of anyone besides Harry. Harry helps Louis use that to his advantage. 

11) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words | Louis vs. many men

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.

12) Amazing Sin | Explicit | 56034 words | Harry vs. Liam, Louis vs. Taylor

Gears started turning in Louis’ head$. Purely mischievous gears that had Louis formulating a revenge plan against Taylor. He’d had enough of sitting around and taking it. If she was going to call him a whore, then fine, he’ll act like one for real. “I’m going to say something, and as my friends you are obligated to love me anyway.”

 “This can’t be good,” Niall said, Zayn just groaned.

“So I know we have this strict ‘no lashing back at Taylor’ rule with me, but what if I can get press revenge a different way?” Louis asked. He wasn’t expecting an answer, because they knew by now to just go with it. “What if I stole her boyfriend?”

13) Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is A Brand New Start | Mature | 62859 words | Harry vs. OMC

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

14) Curly Bun Man | Not Rated | 68600 words | Louis VS. OFC

I just paid for these Doritos but they're stuck in the vending machine and I know you've been waiting but I am not going to let you buy something until you help me. AU

15) This Wicked Game | Explicit | 70010 words | Louis vs. many men

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

16) You Drive Me Crazy (But It Feels Alright) | Teen & Up | 102036 words | Harry vs. Nick Grimshaw, Louis vs. Luke Hemmings

Note: This fic has BH mentions.

Bridget Jones' Diary AU.

“Harry is not short for Harold,” he corrects, his voice as thick as molasses. He lowers his eyes to Louis’ sequined lapels, rubbing one between two fingers. “Is this small or extra small? It looks lovely.”

Louis breaks away from his grip with a petulant huff and pushes him back with two fingers.

“You’re mocking me. Again.”

Harry smiles and it's a real honest swoop of his lips this time. Louis’ stomach swoops with them.

17) Blue Ice | Mature | 102967 words | Harry vs. OMC

An AU where Louis finds himself in a marriage he didn't bargain for.

18) Fucking Animals | Explicit | 116687 words | Harry vs. OMC

Louis is the frontman of an equal rights-movement, author of a book about beta-omega marriage and the struggles of being born and boxed into a personality you don't necessarily feel you fit. The notion that an omega must want to be with an alpha or else he or she's just settling for less, is bullshit.

But, fucking hell.

19) Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) | Mature | 119264 words | Louis vs. many people

Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 32: One More Time

Previous chapters // Montserrat's masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing:  Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother​ @anotherunreadblog​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​ @stareyedplanet​ @perfectlystiles​ @averyhotchner​ [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat and Rafael are losing their minds away from each other over the course of one month...

1 Month Later.

"Oh, he's adorable," Montserrat gushed at the baby boy in her arms. The baby, in return, gurgled as if he was trying to agree out loud with her. Montserrat shifted on her chair to switch the baby to her other leg. "Olivia, I can't believe you actually adopted him," she told the sergeant sitting across the desk.

"Not adopted," Olivia corrected as she watched Noah fiddle with his hands. "His name's Noah and for the time being, he's going to live with me." She had explained the situation since Montserrat had been out of SVU for a good while now. She only came back and forth every once in a while and this time, she came to the surprise that Olivia had become a foster mother to the very child she saved almost a year ago.

"He's really cute," Montserrat loved Noah's rosy cheeks. "Definitely livens up the place, huh?"

"Yeah," Olivia chuckled and reached over her desk to toggle with one of Noah's hands. The baby gurgled with a toothless grin.

"So then...Ellie's...dead?" Montserrat lowered her voice as if the child in her arms would understand that his biological mother was dead.

"Yeah," sighed Olivia. "We had her in a safe house but...she left in the night and…we couldn't save her then."

Montserrat hadn't seen the pictures - not that she wanted to - but she assumed they were thoroughly graphic since Ellie had been burned to death along with other terrible things they'd done to her. "Do you have any ideas who might've done it?"

"Well, we assume it was someone from the high up but, for now, Little Tino is taking the fault."

"If he's taking the fault then it means he's scared of whoever actually did it." Montserrat stood up with Noah and gently handed him back to Olivia. "And, speaking out of experience, the person who did it might be the one in charge of the whole operation Ellie was part of." Olivia had no doubt it as well. "I should get going. I'm meeting with Damian and Calhoun again."

"How's your brother doing?" Olivia asked as the two slowly went for the office door.

"Well, he's better in that he's not in jail but...he's on trial now and things aren't as well as we hoped." Montserrat shrugged. "Things aren't adding up, Liv. Damian and Gael swear they did the final evaluations and the thing is...that footage is missing. Like, it's not where it should be."

"What - the company misplaced it?"

"No, the company is actually helping us look for the footage. Not having it makes them look just as bad as Gael."

"Well, I really hope you find what you need," Olivia said. "We really miss you over here. Plus, we're understaffed since Nick's doing cop work in Queens."

"Yeah," Montserrat's smile was a bit tight but Olivia didn't seem to notice. She was genuinely sorry Nick had to go back to being a regular cop for Queens, but at least with that he would eventually be able to come back to SVU as a detective. It would just take a bit of time. He'd gone for a month now without any problems, so...he was doing good.

"Honestly, I can come back if you really need me," Montserrat told Olivia wholeheartedly. She wouldn't want Olivia to go crazy trying to cover all their cases with only 3 detectives. "I'd just like to ask time to go Gael's trials."

"Thanks Montse," Olivia could breathe a bit in relief. She wouldn't call the detective in unless they truly had to, but it was nice to know Montserrat was up for the early return.

After leaving Olivia's office, Montserrat went for her things she left on her desk.

"So, any word on when you'll be back?" Fin asked from his seat. "Not that we're complaining but Carisi's a bit too much to handle."

"Ha, ha," Sonny rolled his eyes.

"Oh c'mon, he's not that bad," Montserrat swung her bag's strap over her shoulder. "Just give him some candy and he'll be good."

"One of these days, your jokes will stop being funny," Sonny frowned.

"But it's not today," Amanda chuckled.

Montserrat smiled at her squad. She missed them terribly. "I gotta go meet with Damian and Calhoun so I'll see you guys around," she wiggled her fingers and turned to leave.

"Hey Montse," Sonny called and easily caught up with her in the hallway. "Listen, I know things might be a little awkward, but…"

Montserrat turned so that she was in front of him, making him bump into her. "Awkward?" she repeated and tilted her head. "Why would things be awkward?"

"You know what I mean," Sonny gave her a meaningful look until she shifted on her feet. "I was there, remember?"

"Sadly," she flatly said. "But you know what? Over it. Done. It's been a month and I'm over it."

"I know you're mad-"

"Oh no, no," she shook her head. "I'm not mad."

"Really?" Sonny knew that tight, sour smile meant Rafael was still in her bad graces.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Even though he lied and chose to be with some woman who manipulated him, he has all the freedom to do it. I-" she gestured at herself, "-am simply removing myself from the situation because I'm pretty sure if I had him in front of me I might murder him - wait…" she pretended to think about it for a second before saying, "No, I'm sure I would murder him."

Sonny sighed. "Montserrat, if you would just listen to what Rafael has to say then you would see that it's not what it looks like."

Because it wasn't like Rafael hadn't already tried. He'd struggled to get Montserrat to listen to him for just a minute, even more to just stand still but...Montserrat was adamant that the choice had been made. He made it so it was only fair that she make hers...even though her choice was being made out of spite, something Rafael had mistakenly pointed out which brought out a whole new type of argument. (Sonny may or may not have sat Rafael down afterwards to go over everything he'd done wrong).

"Sorry," Montserrat waved Sonny off, "I have better things to do."

"Montserrat-" Sonny called as the woman backtracked towards the elevator.

"Seriously," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "And feel free to mention that murder part. I may be over it, but I hold a wicked grudge. I've been lenient this past month but I'm done now."

"Montse-"

"Maybe this is another reason why we shouldn't be together - I might kill him on the first date," Montserrat shrugged ever-so-casually with her wide, innocent smile.

Oh yeah, she was still furious. It was the quiet type of furious which, generally, turned out to be worse than the loud, screaming fury.

~ 0 ~

"See, this is the only video we have," Damian played the security feed of the final evaluation he and Gael did before the building collapsed.

Montserrat, Gael and Calhoun leaned forwards on the table to see the computer screen.

"But that's not it," Gael pointed with a deep scowl on his face. "That's the very last one - the one after I had checked for everything. It makes me look like I barely did my job."

"Okay, so we have to find that other security feed," Calhoun said. "And in the meantime, I'll be taking that video-" she pointed at the screen, "-as part of the evidence."

"But it's got me showing that I did nothing!" Gael exclaimed. "Why would you want to show people that?"

"Because the label is wrong," Calhoun said sharply. "And that means someone intentionally labeled it wrong."

"So it's part of the bigger evidence," Montserrat said for her brother's sake. "Proves that they were switched intentionally."

"Okay, then we gotta go back to work and find that other video," Gael rose from his seat but both Montserrat and Calhoun brought him back down.

"You cannot go back there until the investigation is over," Calhoun practically snapped so Montserrat went ahead and explained.

"If you go back, the D.A will make it look like you were going to plant something to prove your innocent. It's better if you stay far away from there until we figure things out."

"But what am I supposed to do!?"

"Be with your daughters?" Montserrat very wisely reminded him. "They really need you, especially Juliana."

Gael sighed. He learned of his teenage daughter's 3 day suspension when he first got out on bail and was overly upset with her, though he did understand her behavior sprang from his situation. Now as his trial had begun, he really strove to make sure both his daughters weren't in the fires of the media. "I suppose they do."

"Let us take care of it," Damian said. "I can go back and look for that video."

"If you do, be sure to have another employee with you so they don't claim you planted it," Calhoun warned then pointed a finger at Montserrat. "You're banned from that building as well."

"I know," the ginger woman rolled her eyes. "I'm not new at this, you remember right?"

Calhoun's smile was the definition of a frenemy. "Just do your job detective and I will do mine."

"This is my job right now," Montserrat reminded the woman as the latter prepared to leave the apartment. "So keep me updated at all times."

"I know," Calhoun playfully rolled her eyes. It was truly novelty being on the same side. "See you in court tomorrow."

When she was gone, Gael readied to leave as well. "I'm picking up Ivana and then Juliana early. Maybe we can have lunch or something."

"Honestly, that's the best thing you can do right now," Damian told him. "Just be with your girls. Montserrat and I have this."

"He means I got this since, reminder, being a detective is my job," Montserrat folded her arms over her chest. "It's literally what I do to eat."

"Still, I don't want you guys overexerting yourself on my case," Gael looked between his sister and best friend. "So please get some sleep and just take care of yourselves."

"We're fine Gael," Montserrat smiled at him.

"No you're not," he said too fast for her liking. "You've got something going on and you won't say anything. And don't try denying it."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. She would not be discussing any of these problems with anyone. She hadn't even told Kara about it - though Kara had assumed who Montserrat's problem was before actually hearing the story from Sonny later on - and Montserrat planned to bury that awful moment. Was it healthy? Probably not. Did she care? Nope.

~0~

Damian and Montserrat had stayed in the latter's place going through more of the files Damian took from his job. Being as thorough as possible meant neither noticed the time pass by until Kara and Sonny walked into the apartment.

"You guys are still working?" Kara wasn't surprised at all. For the past week this had been the way she'd find her best friend, not to mention her apartment kept looking like a storage room than an actual apartment.

"Well, my brother's still being accused of murder so…" Montserrat's sarcasm made Kara roll her eyes. "And he's on trial."

"Did you guys find anything useful?" Sonny asked. He hoped the afternoon had been used only for work purposes and nothing else.

"I mean, I guess so?" Damian looked over to Montserrat for confirmation. "I found some papers that Montserrat thinks Calhoun can use."

"It's just the previous signed evaluations indicating Gael did previous evaluations for each stage of construction before the final one," Montserrat explained.

"That's great," Sonny smiled for her. "It's definitely helpful in the case."

"Is it?" Kara smiled almost like him.

"Yeah," the detective nodded his head. "It establishes that Gael did the required evaluations before the building was finished."

"Yeah, except we still don't have that security feed of the final evaluation," Montserrat sighed. She leaned back on her chair and folded her arms. "If we had that, we would end all of this once and for all."

Damian put down his side of papers and moved to Montserrat's side. His hand went on her shoulder as he bent down beside her chair. "Hey, first thing tomorrow I'm gonna go back to work and I'm not gonna leave until I find that video."

Montserrat met his look with a soft smile. She would love nothing more than to finally put an end to this nightmare. "I really wish I could go there too."

"You heard Calhoun. It's best if you don't. I've got an idea, why don't we grab some dinner?"

Sonny scowled. Wow, the guy didn't miss a chance did he?

"Or we could order in?" suggested Kara who walked up to Montserrat's other side.

Sonny then smiled. That's why I love her.

"Thanks guys, but I think I'll just head to bed." Montserrat pushed herself up to her feet and offered both Mackies a polite smile. She loved that they tried so hard to cheer her up, but she just wasn't in the mood. Lately, she wasn't in the mood for anything.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked. She shared the same disappointment as her brother.

"Yeah, I'm tired." Montserrat shrugged again. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh-" she stopped by the doorway and looked directly at Sonny, "-and I may come back a little earlier to SVU. My desk better be cleaned up."

"Oh that's great," Kara was relieved to hear that at least some part of normality would come back to Montserrat's life. "I really hope this can all end. It's taking a toll on Montse and I'm worried about her."

"I'm gonna go to work tomorrow and find that damn video," Damian promised as he went back to the table to clean up the mess of papers.

"Do you have any idea where it could be?" Kara asked. She started helping him put the papers together. "I mean, what guarantee do you have that it's even in there?"

"Because the video disappeared the same day the building crashed and there's been more security ever since. No one could slip out with the video much less not be noticed on camera they're trying to leave with it." Damian neatly stacked the papers on one end of the table then looked up at his sister and Sonny. "I'm gonna find that video if it's the last thing I do. For Gael. For Montserrat." Once everything was set, he bid them goodnight and left.

"If this trial doesn't end soon, I'm afraid both my best friend and my brother are going to lose their minds," Kara sighed once they were alone. She expected more commentary from Sonny, but all she got was a small nod and a distant expression. "Sonny?" she called and because her voice was sharpened, he finally looked at her. "What's the matter with you?"

Sonny shook his head, one hand lightly tapping the top of the chair Montserrat had sat in. "Nothing."

"Do not take me for an idiot, Dominick Carisi. You've been acting strange and even though I know you and Rafael have formed this newfound, closer friendship, it doesn't account for this strange behavior." Kara made a gesture at his current stance and though she walked up to him he seemed to move away. "What are you doing?"

Sonny exhaled and made a gesture towards the hallway, meaning to indicate Montserrat but all that came out of his mouth was a sigh. He didn't mean to do that, but what was he supposed to say? That he was frustrated two of his friends were equally hurting? That his girlfriend's brother was actively trying to win over Montserrat?

His face scrunched. "I should go, Kara. There's work tomorrow, after all."

Kara raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you really going to do this?"

"Do what?" he flashed her a smile but the moment he did she pointed a finger at him.

"Don't you dare use that charming smile on me. Why won't you tell me what you're up to?"

"Because I'm not really up to anything?"

Kara rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I know that's a lie. You think I don't know when Rafael tries to talk with Montserrat? She comes home with a face as red as her hair."

"Sorry, doll, but I'm not up to anything."

"Mhm," Kara pretended to fix the lapels of his jacket by pressing it down. "Listen, I'll believe what you say but...if you do happen to come up with a way my best friend can be happy again, I'll love you a thousand times more."

There was a brief smile on Sonny's face before Kara looked up at him. "I gotta go," he said softly.

"Aha," Kara smiled and leaned on her toes to kiss him. "Go on then. Do nothing. Goodnight."

Sonny had to smile as he left the apartment.

~0~

Each night when Rafael visited Forlinis, it was usually always done to grab some nice dinner that he had no intention of cooking at home. It was usually accompanied by the drinks he just generally loved. But as of late, the entire past month, he came to drown himself in alcohol. And since Forlinis had a wide variety of drinks, he had a vast option list.

"I would hate to think how bad your liver is," Sonny came to take the empty stool beside Rafael. The ADA rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You always drink but now you're overdoing it, don't you think?"

"I think I should be allowed to drink however much I want to," Rafael raised his glass in the air, showing off the tiny bit of alcohol left. He then drowned it all in two seconds and called for a new one.

Sonny nodded and watched the bartender go get a new drink. He wasn't surprised, least not anymore. It had been a very tough month. "This solves nothing."

Rafael graciously accepted his new drink filled to the brim. "I never said it did. Look it's been a very busy day therefore I deserve to end it however I want to." He pretended to salute with his glass then drank it down.

Sonny knew that was bullshit. He let Rafael finish his glass, once again, before speaking up. "I saw her, if you're interested."

"Mhm, and I saw her yesterday and two days before that…" Rafael pretended to do some calculations of how many times he'd seen Montserrat that always ended with an argument. "Yeah, and none of those times have gone well."

"Well, you just have to keep trying."

Rafael shook his head. Each day the discouragement became more and more evident on his face. And how could he not be? Each time he attempted to talk with Montserrat she would either a) shout at him to leave her alone or b) very calmly, but equally angry, tell him everything was done. She was done.

"I think I have finally expended my attempts," Rafael said. "Montserrat despises me and with good reasons."

"Yeah, but the thing is-" Sonny tilted his head, face scrunching, "-she doesn't really hate you. Hate would imply she's over things which is a clear lie. And you should know that Olivia has asked Montserrat to be on standby in case SVU needs her back earlier."

But Rafael didn't seem so surprised. "Yeah, Liv mentioned it to me earlier in the day."

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing, was I supposed to?"

Sonny once again tilted his head at him, his expression seeming more accusatory than anything.

"What do you want me to do!?" Rafael scowled and looked away. The fact that Sonny may have heard him huff was just another novelty. "I'm not gonna further ruin Montserrat. She wants to come back? That's great. It just means I'm going to have to talk with her about something else." The matter of 'when' was just one of the problems.

"You know I could facilitate that-"

"No," Rafael pointed a finger at the detective, warning him not to even try. Montserrat didn't need to be angry with Sonny as well. Even if he was irritating sometimes, Rafael appreciated Sonny's constant help throughout this horrible month. "You're not going to do anything anymore. Just tell me...how is she doing?"

"... she's alright, in what fits. They're getting new evidence for the trial which, actually, is really good. Damian's taking it upon himself to find that missing a video - the very video that would exonerate Gael from all charges."

Despite not facing Sonny, Rafael could see from the corner of his eye that the detective was waiting for him to say something. "Well I hope he does find it, then. Someone should make her happy."

Sonny rolled his eyes. "We're not doing this - you-" he snatched Rafael's glass right out of his hand, "-are not doing this."

"Doing what!?"

"Wallow in self pity, what else? That's unbecoming of you, not to mention plain weird," Sonny put the glass down on the counter, by his side.

"It's not pity, I'm just tired," Rafael slowly corrected as he glanced at the detective. "You can understand why, right?"

"Yes, I can, but it's not really over. Not yet."

"That's all great, Carisi, but it's over for tonight at least. I'm taking a break, one that I'm sure Montserrat would deeply love." Rafael pulled out a couple bills to cover his drinks then promptly got up from his stool. "So, thanks but...why don't you just go back to Kara or something? Don't want to make her mad too."

~0~

It took a lot of courage for Montserrat to walk into the D.A's building, much more into the office of the person she wasn't quite ready to see yet (not that, that had stopped him from trying to talk to her). She drew in a deep breath before walking - striding - into Rafael's office.

"Morning, we have to talk," she said in a jumbled tone.

Rafael was stunned to see her plopping down into the chair across his desk. "Morning…"

"So Olivia's asked me to come back - officially sometime later this week - and of course I agreed," Montserrat shrugged. Her tone was fast but she couldn't quite look Rafael in the eyes. "I'll only be away to attend my brother's ongoing trial but I'm pretty much back."

"Well, that's great for you. Honestly," Rafael was slow with his words, cautious really. He never expected her to come into his office and much less willingly speak to him without shouting.

"I'm just here so that we can both get on the same page about what happened. I think it goes without saying that I don't want anyone to know. Nothing happened. We're just normal co-workers."

"I understand what you want but I have to say that I'll have some trouble with that…"

"I had trouble with your choices but I made it through," the sourness covering Montserrat's words were out of her control. But if it stung, oh well. "Think you can do the same for me."

"I can certainly try but I have to say it would be a lot easier if you would just allow me 5 minutes to explain--"

"And we're done," Montserrat got up.

Rafael frowned at her and got up as well. "No, we're not."

She matched his frown with one of her own. Equally matched, the irony.

"You realize if you would just give me those five minutes we could end all of this."

"That would mean I would have to give in and I'll be damned if I do that anytime soon."

"Mature."

Montserrat's smile was both endearing and frustrating. "Get a taste of what you'd be in for." She was attractive yet about to kill him.

"You're making yourself miserable, Montserrat," Rafael moved around the desk until he was standing in front of Montserrat.

"No, you did that all on your own," she glared.

"So then let me fix it. Let me explain and if you still hate me afterwards I'll leave you alone for good. Five minutes and if you still don't want to talk to me, then I'll stop trying. You'll have some peace."

Montserrat looked away but there was a slight look of inclination. She might give in…

But it all disappeared when Olivia herself walked into the office. She was, of course, surprised to find Montserrat already there.

"I was waiting for Casey to finish her some paperwork so we could go to the trial together," Montserrat easily supplied the excuse then discreetly threw a look at Rafael to warm him not to say anything. "Thought I'd wait here in the meantime."

"I hope it all goes well," Olivia said, nonethewiser of went went on with those two.

"I'll be back to the precinct afterwards, though," Montserrat promised. "Are there any new cases I should know about?"

"We've got a new girl, Luna, who might tie back to Ellie Porter's death," Olivia looked at Rafael and Montserrat for that piece of news. "But we're going to need some help since Nick is the only one who can help bring closer our two connections."

"Nick?" went both Montserrat and Rafael. They then gave each other looks for their unintended synchrony.

"No wait a minute, I thought Nick was stuck doing deadbeat cop stuff in Queens?" Montserrat asked.

"He's the one who arrested Luna, actually. But we want to use him to get to Luna's pimp and make him think Nick is on his side."

"It could be believable since 1PP did sentence him to a lower status," Rafael considered the opportunities this little gig would bring them in their case.

"That, uh, sounds…" Montserrat scrunched her face, "Honestly, I just sounds like I have a lot of files to read through to catch up."

Olivia sent her a smile. "It's all waiting for you when you get back."

"Goodie," Montserrat chuckled and started on her way out. She didn't bother looking back. Why should she? It wouldn't change a damn thing.

~0~

There were various trials going on in the courthouse. SVU had one going for an earlier case, at the same time Montserrat had her brother's trial.

She painstakingly sat through her brother's trial and silently listened to all the baseless accusations the prosecutor, Geraghty, threw at her brother. My God she hated that woman. 

"I hate that I can't find that video," Damian muttered after they walked out of the courtroom.

"We'll find it," Montserrat tried her best to sound as positive as possible, but that missing video was seriously screwing them up.

Calhoun had already told them - warned them - that if they didn't find the missing video, their chances of winning were half and half. Montserrat wanted the full 100%.

From the other end of the hallway, Olivia was leading the way out of their own trial. "Tell me we've got this guy."

"It's basically a done deal," Rafael told her and Sonny. "No matter what he says, he's screwed."

Olivia seemed to believe him. She nodded and motioned Sonny to follow her out.

Of course for some reason Rafael called Carisi back all of a sudden. The detective in question slowly returned after getting the ok from Olivia.

"What is it, councilor?" Sonny asked but for the first few seconds Rafael didn't answer.

He was watching something, or rather someone. He finally understood what Sonny had been trying to tell him all month. There was Montserrat with Damian, talking yet the latter seemed to be unable to keep his hands off the former.

And it made his blood boil.

The worst bit was the fact Montserrat seemed to be taking comfort in Damian's touch. She had that warm, relieved smile on her face and her glossy eyes which could only mean she was close to crying. And about what? Her brother's trial. It had to be going bad.

"Councilor?" Sonny broke through Rafael's concentration. "Did you need something?"

"Yes," Rafael answered in a low mutter. He grabbed Sonny's arm, a bit harder than he intended to. "You know that stuff I said about giving myself and Montserrat a break?"

"Yeah…" Sonny was now giving him a strange look.

"Forget about it. One more time. I'm going to do it one more time and you're going to help me."

"Really?" Sonny's eyebrows raised. He didn't think Rafael would get over it so quickly, but then he noticed what Rafael had been looking at and completely got it. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Shut up," Rafael ordered and pointed a finger behind them. "Now listen because you're going to bring Montserrat into the conference room. Got it?"

"Got it. How do I do that?"

Rafael's smile was promising.

~0~

"Look Sonny, I haven't actually caught up on the cases," Montserrat trailed after Sonny down the courthouse hallways. "Actually, I haven't read at all. I'm gonna need a few more days before I actually return to SVU."

"That's okay, Liv just wanted a word with you," Sonny turned the conference room's doorknob and gestured for Montserrat to go in first.

"Well I don't imagine what about considering I'm way behind," the ginger walked in and went around the table only to see Olivia wasn't anywhere inside. "Where's Liv?"

"She's back at the precinct, where else?" Rafael came striding in much like she when she'd visited him the day before.

Montserrat tilted her head, eyes squinting a bit as she thought.

"What are you doing?" Rafael asked her. He expected her to start yelling the moment she realized she'd been tricked. The fact she was quiet was scary. Yes, she actually managed to scare her sometimes. That idea was still troubling to him.

"I'm thinking…" Montserrat answered in an eerie calm voice.

"About how to talk calmly?" Sonny went with the most hopeful reason he could think of.

"Noooo," Montserrat whispered, still thinking, "I'm thinking that a premeditated murder would get me a longer sentence so I won't think about murdering you -- I'll just do it!" And she actually ran, almost charged, for the detective.

"Montserrat, stop!" Rafael moved in front of Sonny as if the woman would actually cause him harm. "This is between you and me so let's finally finish this, alright? One more time and then we're done. I swear!"

Montserrat turned her head slightly, looking him over with a natural suspicion. "Is that a promise?"

"I give you my word."

Montserrat backed away and gestured Sonny to leave. Before the detective actually left, he stopped by Rafael's side and whispered. "You know what you're doing, councilor? She's pretty pissed."

Montserrat walked towards the other end of the room, mentally preparing herself for this awful moment.

"I just need 5 minutes with her, I know it," Rafael sounded pretty convinced which led Sonny to wonder what the ADA had up his sleeve. All Rafael knew was that he almost had Montserrat yesterday if Olivia hadn't interrupted them. That was what gave him hope that it wasn't all over.

"Good luck," Sonny said with all the genuine care he had. He might actually dream tonight about Montserrat charging at him.

When she heard the door close, Montserrat finally pulled her gaze from the mahogany table. "That was a low trick and you know it."

"It was the only thing that would get you here, isn't it?" Rafael countered with the perfect argument. Montserrat folded her arms, lips pressing against each other since she knew he was right.

She absolutely hated that he was always right.

"What do you want from me?" came her quiet question. "Because, frankly, I'm a little confused. You told me to move on and I tried but now you're here trying to unravel what I've been working on so hard. I don't get it…" her voice cracked towards the end.

"That's what I've been trying to explain this past month, Montserrat, but you haven't given me the chance--"

"Don't you dare pin this on me!" she snapped. She stormed up to him with the deepest scowl that could mar her face. "I gave you ample time to speak up, but you always told me the same things. 'No, we can't.' 'It's unprofessional.' 'We need to stop'. It's only now - when I finally realized you had Yelina on the side - that you want to talk with me."

Rafael's hands shot in front of him, curling and uncurling in frustration. "For the last time - there is nothing between Yelina and I!"

Montserrat laughed in his face and turned away from him. "Sure. She's only the reason you were late to my brother's arraignment and you know, Kara pointed out to me that you didn't have to come. I should've just been grateful that you showed up. But that's not true. You made a promise and you blew me off for the woman who tried manipulating you."

"I didn't know she was going to suddenly drop back into my life. And the only reason I accepted to meet with her is because I didn't want her coming into my office - which she clearly did anyways. But I swear to God, all we did was have lunch - well, we danced around with words but that was it."

Montserrat shook her head. She kept her back to him so that could buy some time and get rid of the tears in her eyes. "Why lie about it, then?"

"Because I didn't think it was important?" Rafael flinched with her humorless laugh.

"Didn't think it was important," she repeated.

"It wasn't!" He had enough and grabbed her arm to turn her around, forcing her to finally look at him. "She wasn't important and I just didn't want to bring that up when you already had so much problems. I wanted to help you find the solution, not add to your list."

"How'd that work out for you?" Montserrat looked him dead in the eyes.

Rafael could look her in her glossy eyes and openly admit it. "You're in pain and I'm the reason for it. Worst mistake of my life."

Montserrat's scoff was a low and quiet one, like she was making herself do it. She didn't exactly have anymore words to keep fighting. She was too tired to keep arguing.

"Montserrat, please," he touched her face, immediately freezing her. She watched his hand as it stroked gentle circles over her cheek and then near her jaw. She had to physically stop herself from shuddering. He let her slowly walk her backwards until her back pressed against the edge of the table. "I've messed up several times and I am so sorry. I only wanted to do what was best for you but...I may just be selfish by coming back to you." His hands ran down the sides of her body, sending tingles down her back but she wouldn't push him away. 

"I hate you," she whispered, sounding like she was out of breath. 

"I know," he whispered back. "But if you give me a chance…" he nuzzled his nose on the side of her face, letting her feel his patterned breath against her cheek, "...I would really like to make you happy. You deserve to be happy."

Montserrat let her eyes fall close. She was so weak for his touch it was honestly ridiculous. When did this happen? When she first started in SVU, she was very sure that she didn't want any of his hands on her because he was outright annoying. Now she never wanted his hands to let her go...and she really wanted him to stop toying with her and move those lips of his onto hers.

Seriously, when did all this happen?

She moved her hands to press against his chest and push him away a bit, though it didn't really seem to do much since they only had minuscule inches between them. "That night...in your office, why was Yelina coming to see you?"

"Montserrat, is that really what you want to keep discussing about?"

"I need to know. She walked in like she owned the place..."

"That's just her personality. She came in because I cut our lunch short. That was it."

"She's someone clearly important to you and I...I'm really tired, Rafael. I don't want to keep arguing, much less fighting with some other woman."

"Yeah, she was important to me...once. But that ended a very long time ago. You are important to me now," he pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes at the same time she did. "I've laid everything out for you. In conclusion, you basically own me." Montserrat couldn't help but chuckle and hearing her laughter gave Rafael new hope that things were turning out good.

"Bring in your job why don't you," Montserrat opened her eyes.

"It's bound to happen at some point," Rafael did the same and opened his eyes. "You'd find out if we, uh..." 

Montserrat's breath hitched when he purposely came closer to let his lips hover over hers. All Montserrat could smell right now was him and his cologne and that alone was enthralling. Her hands gripped the lapels of his blazer and the little bit that she tilted her head up brought them to the point that they were one move away from a kiss. "I want to kill you," she said flatly, though a small smile spread across her face in the next minute. "But I think I might just be saying that more often now." She rolled her eyes when he smirked not-so-subtly. "And wipe that smirk off your face."

"Make me," he challenged.

She'd save the snap for his smugness for another day. She kissed him like she'd been wanting to for such a long time. It was a hungry kiss that let all their initial feelings and tension out of the cages they'd worked so hard to keep shut. Rafael could finally throw that caution away and would never have to think about it again (or maybe just a tiny bit for later who knew). He wrapped his arms around Montserrat's waist and hoisted her up on the table. There was a slight laugh murmuring against his lips but his rough kiss silenced her. But with seconds passing he came to realize that Montserrat had her own tricks and ways because no matter how much he tried to be in control, she was pulling the strings. And the right ones too. She had him following her lips in whatever way she moved them. Her hand had found a way to tug his neatly-kept hair at the right moments that would inadvertently make him kiss harder each time, and once she figured it out she took good advantage of it. 

Eventually, they parted to catch their breaths but Montserrat showed her widest smirk possible. She passed her tongue over her teeth, almost inviting him to come back. She passed her hands over his chest, letting them drift under his blazer until they found his suspenders and she was able to pull him right up to him.

"You've surprised me, detective," Rafael murmured, still breathless.

Montserrat arched an eyebrow at him. "Really? Well...just in case you were thinking about going back to...that woman." He rolled his eyes at her. "I dare you to forget me after that kiss...and the ones to come."

[ilkkawhat]

first line, last 20

Guidelines: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20,  just list them all.) Choose your favorite opening line, tag some friends!

tagged by @nade2308​ (much appreciated 💜)

as with the last tag game, I’m not gonna tag anybody but if you want to do this feel free to say I tagged you. 

If it’s a multichap, I’ll post the first line from the most recent chapter. I’m also bending the rules and posting basically the first paragraph cause idk. I’m an asshole like that.

(and wow. haven’t written more than 20 all year)

1. Bleeding Love (Macgyver)

They find out in the sandbox.

Jack’s the first to realize it, though he doesn’t quite fully define it the first time Mac runs off going against direct orders. The Wunderkind is a magnet for danger even though in years to come he’ll be blamed as the danger prone one always slowing them down, but it’s when Mac finds himself cornered by four armed and dangerous criminals that he’s almost sent him home in a box sooner than the thirty-two days Jack had left at the time.

2. Every Breath You Take (CSI)

He has no time to recall the chainset of circumstances that led him to this moment. No time to think, really no time to even feel the assault on his body, and yet...he can.

Creaking plastic stretching across his face, trapping his screaming mouth in a suffocating muzzle that reeked of his hot breath. Condensing fogs and droplets daring to blind him more than his wildly burning eyes as his fingers claw at the invisible force pulling him back.

3. A Night That We Can’t Replace (CSI)

There are a lot of things that changed for Nick in the summer of 2005.

A burial that he’s still digging his way out of, his hands blindly reaching out for anything, anybody for him to grab onto with desperate fingers and a pounding heart that hasn’t stopped beating no matter how much damage was done to it.

Lucky for him, plenty of people were reaching for him, too.

4. Death by a Thousand Cuts - Ch. 2 (CSI)

There's no warning, not that there ever really is when disaster strikes.

No dark clouds swirling in the distance, no sense of finality in a season’s worth of cases told over twenty-two weeks.

It’s just an ordinary day.

5. Stranger in a Bar (CSI)

Nick’s sprawled out on his half of the booth, waiting with casually spread wings as he hawkishly observes Greg ordering their next round of drinks from the bar, leaning over the counter and even pointing out Nick’s favorite whiskey. He often doesn’t go for the top shelf but tonight he needs something with a bit of a bite.

6. You Take the Breath Right Out of Me (CSI)

“I don’t know man, it’s like Warrick was carrying the entire case. Felt like I was just a lowly CSI collecting evidence, and I couldn’t even do that right! Missed that...damn spot on the panties.”

7. Specimen Stokes - Ch. 10 (CSI) 

“Warrick, look, there’s just not enough evidence—”

“Not enough evidence? Jim, how is this not enough?”

Warrick points to the screenshots from the footage of what he feels is the most incriminating piece of evidence he has. Greg Sanders waltzing into the police department.

8. Body in Motion (CSI)

He’s missed this, the high coming off of solving a case.

The high coming off of being alive.

The high soaring far above ground.

9. Reversed (CSI)

“Nick.”

He could not move any faster as the anchors of his feet drag across the tile of an empty hallway. He’s leaving one home for another, no adventures in between. He’s tired.

Of so many things.

“Nick!”

He stops. He turns. He listens.

He owes Warrick at least that much for jumping off a cliff with him.

10. To Call for Hands of Above (CSI)

It doesn’t happen until they actually become “friends.”

Well, “friends” by Nick’s standards—and he had long been assuming that’s what they were all along, ever since the first day they worked a case together and discovered they had similar interests, similar tastes in humor, a similar spark in their eyes for justice and wanting to do their job and do it right.

But Warrick seemed to close off a bit of himself at first, which wasn’t apparent until something had endangered his heart.

Nick saw it coming.

11. Separate Ways (Macgyver)

There’s one reason and one reason only Jack and Mac would allow themselves to be apart for long times at long distances, and that reason was something that even all of the infinite science in Mac’s brain, all of the infinite wisdom in Jack’s heart couldn’t even explain.

12. Astray (CSI)

“Boy’s not even safe in his own bed.”

Nick breathes through his nose, his teeth grinding in a clenched jaw. His eyes haven’t left the boy’s body since they walked into the room, and his eyes don’t even meet Catherine as her voice grows more distant and disoriented.

13. Public Enemies, Private Lovers (CSI)

Having separate shifts may have been the best and worst thing to happen to Nick and Greg’s relationship.

Best in the way that it was easier to hide, after the lab had been remodeled and the walls to DNA were becoming more transparent, it was harder for Nick to hang around without attracting suspicion.

He still remembers the time Grissom caught him leisurely leaning against the counter, reeling a similarly laid back Greg towards him with a re-telling of a tale that he can’t quite remember.

All he remembers is the way he had caught Greg in his web and Greg didn’t seem eager to get out.

14. First Flight - Ch 2  (CSI)

Even though he thinks he’s ahead of the curve, his innocence shattered at an early enough age for him to get a glimpse outside the shelter of his youth, Parker Stokes will be the first to admit there is still a lot to life he doesn’t understand.

One of those things is his father’s love for flying.

15. What’s going to happen to me now? (CSI) 

“Let me out.”

He couldn’t say the words at the time. Could only choke out a literal cry for help, though there were plenty of words that his brain was firing—and missing—but those three words in particular were just some of the few pleading thoughts he had while he was still enclosed in a glass coffin—one that was ready to collapse at any given second—why didn’t they see that? Why did they all stand on top of it? Why didn’t they open it immediately just to give him some air, just brush the damn ants off, no extinguisher needed.

He didn’t understand why it took so long to get him out.

16. Goosebumps (CSI)

Working graveyard shift, it’s rare for them to get a chance to actually celebrate the nightlife that Las Vegas has to offer, let alone on a holiday such as New Year’s Eve that is the most celebrated night out of the three hundred and sixty five that occur within a year.

17. Fire Away (CSI) 

A splash of cold water gives him a quick refresh on his clammy, pale face but it’s not enough to pull him out of his state of shock that he’s denied being to everybody who’s placed their hand on his shoulder, asking if he’s okay.

The same shoulder with a pinched nerve that his head keeps...twitching towards.

18. Found - Ch. 2 (CSI)

He rubs his fingers against the temples of his forehead, brain on autopilot circling the same repeating numbers that appear in the ten-page long phone record. His eyes are straining and the edges of his periphery are stretching away so that he has to squint to keep focus. He wishes he had brought his glasses as a yawn escapes his lips. He’s also realizing just how hungry he is as his stomach grumbles, when a familiar voice completely breaks his waning concentration.

“Here, figured you might need a little snack while you do your homework.”

19. It’s Not Like Christmas At All (CSI)

It’s like there’s something infectious in the air, some cosmic force driving against him that was making this year far more difficult than ever before.

Around this time last year, the team was pulling names out of a hat. Making plans for a party in the break room to celebrate not just as a team, but as a family.

This year, there’s been no such talk and he was semi-reluctantly making plans to visit his real family in the Lonestar state.

The first year he’s gone since Warrick passed.

20. There is Just One Thing I Need (CSI)

The scents and tastes and general ambience of the holiday season seemed duller that year, for both of them. Last year they had ridden high on their first Christmas together, as a family, giving Parker the best first Christmas they could give their bundle of joy and feeling a true warmth in each other’s company for the first time since their first night of passion together.

But even Christmas in California could get so cold.

[five-hxrgreeves]

I Won’t Back Down - Five Hargreeves x OC

Word Count: 3,597

You can stand me up at the gates of hell But I won't back down I'm gonna stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from dragging me down

1 | 2 |

Pt. 1- 10 Days Until Apocalypse I, 2019

Lola Gimbel was a very peculiar child and it wasn’t because she was one of the forty-three children born on that fateful day in 1989. Instead, she was strange because at the ripe young age of fifteen, she had already started her autobiography. It wasn’t that she was famous and needed her life written down, or that she was planning on dying anytime soon; on the contrary, she planned to live a long and fruitful life.

(One must be careful with what they wish for.)

Instead, her inspiration came from an eleven-year-old girl who’d lived over seventy years ago in a fictional work called The Book Thief. Lola admired Liesel’s perseverance and survival skills during war-torn times and the romantic part of her wanted someone like Rudy to stay by her side. This created the urge to pen down her own life story, first by asking her family members about the early years beyond memory until she could rely on her own.

Then, she spent many, many nights hidden in her basement writing by the aid of flickering candlelight. Of course, she didn’t need to use such old-fashioned ways, but the atmosphere helped set the mood and was a replica of how her book-hero wrote. Unfortunately, Lola didn’t think she had anything interesting to write even in the two and a half notebooks and counting. So far, she had:

My name is Lola Gimbel and I was born August 1, 2004. My family consists of my mother, Diana Gimbel, my father, Edmund Gimbel and my uncle, Edward Gimbel. I go to the local public high school in downtown Toronto, Canada. My father and uncle own a department store downtown called Gimbel’s Brothers. (An original name, I know. Don’t tell them I said that.) This is where I spend most of my free time after school. My mother works long hours as a nurse and apparently, I can’t be trusted enough to stay home alone after burning eggs one morning.

I’m getting ahead of myself; I was born in Toronto General Hospital at 9:15 a.m. According to my birth certificate, I weighed five pounds, five ounces. Tiny, I know! My mother was in labor for almost nine hours and when I finally arrived, she named me Delores. I hate my name because it sounds so old fashioned and it means sadness. I’d like to think I was a gift to my parents, but maybe not? and I know they love me, so instead of telling them that, I call myself Lola, which is better. It’s still a derivative of Delores, after all. As for appearances, I have shoulder-length brown hair with mid-length bangs and blue eyes.

The writing continued on for pages and pages, detailing everything she could- and couldn’t-remember from her life. There was one thing that she did not include, however, as it would give her parents a heart attack: the mansion the next block over, home of the long-forgotten Umbrella Academy, housed the biggest library she’d ever seen, and she stole books from it.

Three Years Ago

It had really been a coincidence that she’d taken any interest in the building at all. While it was the biggest thing in the city practically, the old man who lived there was an eccentric recluse who never left the house. And, despite it’s past grandeur, the once-grand entrance had faded with time and memory. Even those who’d grown up in the golden years of The Umbrella Academy had let their passions for the group of crime-fighting children go by the wayside as they grew up, leaving the large house to sit without audience for years on end.

Still, that didn’t stop some interested passers-by from peering in occasionally and Lola was among them. One night, she’d been passing by on her way home from a late-night walk and had travelled by the house on her way home. She’d passed by the house hundreds of times before, but that night she’d seen something. Or, someone. A slightly stooped figure had lingered in the window until they’d sensed they were being watched and had disappeared.

Since then, curiosity had plagued her to go check it out. Maybe, just maybe, she’d have something interesting to add to her life’s story. Her mother would cluck her tongue and say curiosity killed the cat, but her Uncle Edward would wink at her and chime in with but satisfaction brought it back. So the next night, Lola didn’t hide in the basement. Instead, she donned all-black clothes and crept to the house.

She’d never broken in anywhere but she had an inventive, quick mind and could almost always come up with a solution. The first-floor windows and doors had been locked and secure but after a few, terrifying minutes of climbing- luckily, the old stone had great places to cling on to- she’d reached the second level. Despite the ache in her fingers from grasping the side of the building, Lola had pressed on, hoping for luck, which arrived in the form of a second-story window being unlocked.

The brunette pushed it open carefully and dropped in, keeping low. A young girl would hardly trigger any alarms, but she wanted to be cautious anyway. The room she’d landed in was dark and with only the faint filter of light from the street lamps, she made her way into the hallway. A part of her hoped to find the figure she’d seen, but the other part- the larger part- hoped she wouldn’t meet anyone.

Despite the age of the house, the floorboards were in excellent condition and made no sound as she walked down the hallway. After trying a few doors to find them all barred, Lola hesitated at the back staircase. She should really stay on the floor with the escape, but something was encouraging her exploration upward, so she climbed.

There, at the end of the hallway, stood two large, double doors. Her anticipation heightened and it took everything in her not to sprint towards them. Instead, Lola continued at the same pace and, with bated breath, tried the handle. To her surprise, the door swung open immediately. The room was dark but her eyes had gotten used to the lack of light by now and she could make out towering, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. She gave a squeak of excitement. Books! Now she could really be like Liesel Meminger!

Sure, there were libraries, but this was so much better. Her feet moved quickly, closing the distance between the door and the books. She ran her hands enthusiastically along the spines of the volumes, unable to read their titles due to the dim light. Which one should she take first?

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Someone was outside the door. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but the air suddenly felt… charged.

Quickly, she pulled one volume off the shelf and close to her chest. At the same time, a shadow appeared in the open crack of the door.

Oh no, oh no, oh no- Lola shook her head furiously, clutching the book. Panicking wouldn’t help. The room was dark enough that whoever it was probably hadn’t seen her, so she could still get away. Her eyes darted around the mostly open space.

There was a couch with side tables, a working desk, library nick-nacks and- aha! she thought triumphantly, soundlessly making her way to the window.

The figure in the door entered the room, peering cautiously around before backing out again, closing the door with a sharp click!

Lola, from her hiding place in the curtain, let out a relieved breath. She took this as her queue to leave, exiting with her prize out the same window she’d come in. While she was triumphant in her first heist, her mind was whirring. The figure had been obscured by darkness, but the outline had been clearer than when she’d seen them in the window- that, she was sure of- and it seemed like the person wasn’t actually a person at all, but a- monkey.

9 Days Until Apocalypse I, 2019

After school hours usually found Lola en route to her father’s department store where she would spend time until closing working on homework or hanging out with the staff that was on break. While the back room wasn’t the most ideal place for studying, she’d become used to the constant comings and goings and the noise that came with the workers.

Now, she was sitting at a table in the cluttered space at the back of the store working on her math homework while the daily news played on a small, old-fashioned TV hung up in the corner of the large room. Three of the staff members, Sam, Eric and Brittany were sitting at the table with her. The first of the workers’ attention was fixed on the small TV while the second two where scrolling through an app on their phones looking as bored as Lola felt as she completed her assignment.

With a loud sigh, she looked up at the trio hopefully, “do you guys want to see a magic trick?”

Brittany rolled her dark eyes, “what, are you gonna pull a quarter from my ear?”

Lola grinned, “nope!” she said cheerfully, shifting slightly in her seat to pull out a deck of cards from the back pocket of her jeans.

Sam huffed, “are you going to do the ‘pick a card, any card?’ schtick?”

“You guys have no faith in me,” the brunette complained, pulling the cards from the container and proceeding to shuffle them, “I’ve been practicing.”

Eric sighed, “fine, I’ll bite. Hold ‘em out.”

Discreetly, the brunette flipped the bottom card of the deck over and then fanned them out to the other teen, careful not to let the different card show, “alright, pick a card, any card,” she said this part sarcastically with an eye roll towards Sam.

The blonde boy reached forward and pulled out the card he wanted.

“Show it to everyone but not me,” she commanded, “make sure you remember it.”

“Aye aye, Cap,” Eric said, flipping the card to reveal his choice.

While he did so, she flipped the deck casually in her hands, feigning nonchalance. She took it back from him, placing it carefully in the middle of the deck, “now, I’m going to find your card without looking.”

Lola hid the deck behind her back, flipping the top card over. At this point, even Brittany had put away her phone to watch. She revealed them again showing a face-up deck and carefully shuffled through the cards to reach the only face-down card.

Flipping it over, she showed the eight of hearts, “is this your card?”

Eric let out a low whistle, “well, I’ll be damned. You have been practicing.”

The dark-haired girl beamed happily, pleased that she’d pulled it off. The first time she’d tried this with her uncle, she’d accidentally revealed the workings of the trick as the deck slipped out of her hands.

“That’s definitely better than a quarter,” Brittany said begrudgingly.

Before anyone else could say something though, the jingle of the breaking news broke through the work room.

“This just in! Moments ago, police reported the death of the eccentric billionaire, Reginald Hargreeves. More on this story after the break.”

Sam’s head snapped towards the TV, “Hargreeves- that name sounds familiar.”

“That’s because he ran that Umbrella thing, idiot,” Brittany said with an eye roll, “they were all the rage during the early 2000s. My brother went nuts over them.”

“The Umbrella thing?” Lola questioned, curious.

“Oh yeah,” the older girl said, “there was this group of crime-fighting children that was run by Hargreeves. They became famous after stopping a bank robbery but they went downhill after one of their members went missing. Tommy was heartbroken.”

“Went missing?” Lola asked, “as in kidnapped?”

Brittany shrugged, “no one knows what happened to him. Hargreeves isn’t exactly an open book, either. There were several unsolved documentaries but they flopped since there’s not a ton of information. You can look it up if you wanna to know more. Personally, I was more of a Disney fan.”

“Of course you were,” Sam said in amusement.

The dark-haired girl glared at him, “what’s that supposed to mean, moron?”

The blue-eyed boy shrugged, “just that it’s a girly thing.”

Lola rolled her eyes as Brittany shot something back at the boy, tuning them out as the attention shifted away from her. She made a mental note to research The Umbrella thing, as the other girl had said. Standing, she stretched and made her way into the main area of the store to take a break.

Despite all the time she spent in here, Lola didn’t think she’d ever tire of looking at the constant rotation of styles and colors. Her favorite thing to do was run her hands along the racks, feeling the shifts between soft, scratchy, wooly and a hundred other different cloths.

Her favorite section was the formal wear for the vast amount of sparkly dresses that her father decided to sell. She particularly liked the sequins because of the shine they gave off and the unique texture that passed under her fingertips. While she wouldn’t necessarily consider herself a girly-girl, she did appreciate a nice dress and the occasional accessory, even owning-and wearing- an assortment of hats and dressy items containing her favorite material.

This was the section she made her way over to now, immediately reaching her hand out to touch the slightly-rough, slightly-smooth fabric of a long, strapless dress covered in a layer of silver-and-gold sequins.

She jumped when a gentle, warm hand came to rest on her shoulder, “hey, Sequins.”

Lola rolled her eyes, “Uncle Ed, I thought I told you I hated that nickname?”

Her uncle smiled goofily at her, “what, I can’t call you something that you love?”

She huffed, “it’s dumb.”

“That’s what your mother said when you wanted to go by Lola but you did it anyway.”

“Ouch, I think I need ointment for that burn.”

The man laughed loudly, attracting some stares from other customers. They both ignored it, Lola being used to her uncle’s easy, hearty laughter, “I thought she was going to have a conniption when you told her.”

Lola’s face warmed, “are you ever going to let me live that down?”

He gave her a bright smile, “no way, Dolores.”

The brunette gave him a half-irritated, half-playful glare, “please, Uncle Ed.”

8 Days Until Apocalypse I, 2019

That evening before dinner, Lola sat herself down at the computer in her room and typed in the first part of a search inquiry: The Umbrella and then Google helpfully suggested the rest: Academy.

Clicking on the first result, her blue eyes widened in shock as an image appeared on the screen. The building she stole books from almost every night was home to heroes. Good god, what if she’d been caught? She would be dead for sure. She thanked her lucky stars that she’d only met the slightly-stooped figure a handful of times and had never spoken to anyone.

She scrolled further down to read about The Umbrella Academy.

On October 1, 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth simultaneously, despite none of them showing any sign of pregnancy until labor began. Seven of the children are adopted by eccentric billionaire Sir Reginald Hargreeves and turned into a superhero team that he calls "The Umbrella Academy." Hargreeves gives the children numbers rather than names, but the public gives them codenames. Spaceboy, Kraken, Rumor, Séance, The Boy and Horror. While putting six of his children to work fighting crime, Reginald keeps the seventh apart from her siblings' activities, as she supposedly demonstrates no powers of her own.

Intrigued, she clicked on a few more links that showed poor-quality pictures of six kids in domino masks and black uniforms after complete missions. Sometimes they’re covered in blood, sometimes they’re not. The group visibly diminishes in number after 2002, a few years before she was born. Then, when they’re in their teens, it shrinks again before all articles about the group cease to exist.

Frowning, Lola then typed in Reginald Hargreeves. There are, unsurprisingly, few articles about the man himself. There were a few about his notable achievements including his knighting and entrepreneurship but most involved The Umbrella Academy. There was even audio recording of one of the few interviews he’d done, showing the man standing outside of a bank as he introduced the group to the world.

“Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted six such children. I give you the inaugural class of The Umbrella Academy!”

Abilities beyond the extraordinary? Lola thought, weren’t they just regular crime-fighting children? She snorted at that. There was no such thing as regular crime-fighting children. She entered her next search: Umbrella Academy superpowers.

Many articles were speculations of the full extent of the powers the children possessed, what-if questions and potential side effects or results of their use. She did learn, though, that the six powers were as followed: super strength, super accuracy, altering reality, ghost summoning, teleportation and time travel and summoning inter-dimensional beings. Lola could barely believe what she was reading. Children like this existed? And here she was, writing down her autobiography like she was someone important!

She shook her head, forcing her jealousy to dissolve. The media tended to sugarcoat everything; these kids probably didn’t have a very fun life if they were constantly on the job. And besides, of course she was important, she had time to do something noteworthy. Still, it felt like she’d entered an alternate universe and couldn’t believe she hadn’t been aware people with super powers even existed.

A part of her wanted to stop searching then and there with how muddled her mind was currently feeling but an almost morbid curiosity forced her to continue. As her final search of the night, she typed in The Boy disappearance.

Here, even less credible evidence popped up and she sifted through what she found until she had enough of a framework for a story. Apparently, he disappeared on November 10th, 2002 and his adoptive father proclaimed him dead. There were several conspiracy theories but nothing concrete, causing her to eventually give up on finding information. There was more to be found on the other siblings, she knew, but her curiosity had been satiated and she had other things to do tonight.

Standing from her desk, she went to her bedside table and opened the drawer, pulling out the two hardcover books she’d hidden in there. Tonight, she’d return them to The Umbrella Academy’s library- that was hard to believe- and get two more. Placing them in her bag, she wondered about the lack of security for such an at-risk family, but she’d seen pictures of Hargreeves; he was old, and despite being incredibly smart, he probably had difficulty with technology like any older person. It wouldn’t matter much now that he was dead, though.

Turning her feet towards the door to head downstairs for dinner, she wondered if the stooped figure she’d seen had been Hargreeves before quickly discarding the thought. While the man had appeared old, he’d always stood straight and proud, never bent with age.

During dinner, she let her parents and uncle talk around her while she puzzled over the mysterious Umbrella Academy. They seemed to have a fairly large fanbase in their youth, but all information on them was practically made up or guessed. Lola had always liked puzzles.

Finally, towards the end of dinner, she broke her silence, “mom?”

Diana turned towards her daughter, pushing back her short, brown hair behind her ear, “yes, Dolores?”

The younger girl winced. Her mother insisted on using her formal name, “do you know anything about The Umbrella Academy?”

Now she had both of her parent’s attention as Edmund cut off the conversation with his brother, “The Umbrella Academy?”

Lola nodded, “the superhero children of Reginald Hargreeves?”

Her mother shook her head, “a bit after my time, dear.”

The brunette girl rolled her eyes, “you’re not that old, Mom.”

Diana shot her a look, “I never said I was old, just that I didn’t know them.”

She grumbled under her breath, crossing her arms and pouting. She’d only been trying to give a compliment. Unfortunately, the dark-haired woman leaned over and gave her daughter a firm smack on the back of her head, “don’t grumble, Dolores. You sound like a caveman.”

There was just no winning with her. Thankfully, her Uncle Edmund came to the rescue by changing the subject, “any progress on your autobiography, Sequins?” he asked with an amused twinkle in his hazel eyes.

The brunette sighed and uncrossed her arms, using one of her hands to push her hair away from her face, “I don’t know what’s even the point anymore,” she complained, “especially with super-powered kids who are more interesting than me.”

Her father gave her a fond look, “you’re just as important as they are, don’t think that you’re not. And besides, this Umbrella talk reminds me- one of the children of the Academy published an autobiography a few years back, you might want to take a look at it.”

She shot him a surprised look, “really? Exposing superhero secrets?”

He shrugged, “I’m not sure of the extent of what’s written, but it’s probably worth taking a look, right?”

She chewed her lip in thought for a moment before nodding, “okay, thanks Dad.”