Me and the boys when we Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves.
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four months into getting to know each other, shouto finds him by touya-nii's shrine. his little brother gently sits down beside him and offers a small prayer.
"yumi-nee-san," natsuo wonders if his little brother will ever drop the second honorific, "said you were the closest to him," shouto says quietly.
after all these years and the use of past tense still makes his heart break. 'you are the closest to him' he wants to correct but that wouldn't make sense anymore. touya-nii hasn't been talked about in the present tense since before middle school. does shouto even remember a time before nii-san's dea-, disappearance?
"yeah, i was," he says, eyes never leaving the photo. it's the one nii-san took for sixth-grade picture day. kaa-san had got him all dressed up and he had hated it. somedays he thinks if he looks close enough, he'll see the displeased pout on nii-san face. "why?"
his little brother says nothing for a long time, back ramrod straight. natsuo has no idea what's going on in that head of his. shouto has so few tells that he's practically a blank slate. natsuo hates his father.
then slowly and so quietly, he has to strain his ears to catch it, shouto stammers out, "do-, do you think he would have liked me?"
natsuo's immediate reaction is to say 'yes'. yes, of course, touya-nii would've loved you. yes, of course, touya-nii would've crossed the heavens for you. yes, of course, he would've loved you shouto; you're his precious younger brother.
but he remembers the way nii-san used to spit out shouto's name when he was a kid. the way his brother's mouth wrapped around it, the face he made, like he had just eaten something disgusting. he remembers the way touya-nii had become almost crazed by the end, hellbent on proving himself the rightful heir to their shitty father's legacy. he remembers the way touya-nii had said, "i just need to prove that i'm better than him,"; the 'him' said with such bitterness and contempt.
he knows instantly that touya-nii would not have liked shouto. that this house and his father would have twisted any ounce of love, nii-san would've held towards shouto, into jealousy and hatred.
(this house may have ruined all of them but it only ever broke two of them.)
natsuo can't say any of that to shouto. his kind little brother who forgave him for not being there. his amazing little brother who falls in love with every cat he sees. his wonderful little brother who has a wickedly dry sense of humor. his soft baby brother who loves him and yumi-nee with a passion. his tender-hearted baby brother who still worries if his long-gone older brother would've liked him.
no, natsuo can't tell shouto that nii-san wouldn't have like him. shouto will internalize it like he does with everything else that hurts him. and there is already so much that hurts shouto, he will not add to that list. his baby brother smiles these days, nothing big like his green-haired friend, but quiet, lovely, ones all the same. shouto talks more these days. they have dinner together when natsuo is home. his baby brother laughs now. it's a miracle like nothing else in this world.
shouto is the best thing to come out of their house and natsuo will die before he ever hurts his little brother. so instead, he curls an arm around shouto's shoulders and pulls him into a loose side-hug.
"of course!" he lies cheerfully, ignoring the ache in his chest, "touya-nii would've loved you. you're his — and our —precious little brother after all. there is no universe in which he wouldn't have loved you."
the tips of his baby brother's ears go red and his pleased little answering smile makes the ache of lie go away. natsuo will tell a thousand more lies if it means shouto never stops smiling like that.
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Frankly I think Alistair being mildly shitty to that mage in Ostagar seems pretty in-character for the guy he is before the massive, life-altering trauma that is the Ostagar massacre wherein he sees all of his Grey Warden comrades, his beloved mentor/father figure, and his beloathed half-brother/convenient-target-of-projection absolutely torn to shreds by literal Thedas boogeymen. IIRC Morrigan and Flemeth both comment on his wack behavior after Ostagar and then by the time we get to Lothering Alistair just fully surrenders any and all responsibility (and, frankly, agency) to the player's Warden for the foreseeable future. It can then take anywhere from a couple IRL hours to the entire second act of the game for him to retake almost any amount of it back. And depending on the player's choices in dialogue, and especially whether or not they choose to romance him, we may only see flashes of that guy we met at Ostagar before he potentially morphs into almost someone else entirely (hardened!King!Alistair). All that to say, I don't actually think it's a useful criticism of "characterization" to bring up Alistair's glibness as compared to his behavior in the majority of the game because from where I'm standing (looking directly at his snottiness about Cailan, his complaints about being assigned to the Tower of Ishal, his Templar-esque focusing on Morrigan and Flemeth being apostates, his generally pretty brusque manner with the Warden recruits) it seems fairly in-line with the rest of his behavior at Ostagar.
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so ive been watching shangri-la frontier lately - because its amazing - and ive been watching both the dub and the sub. mostly because i usually watch anime dubbed, but ive been so into the story that ive been watching the subs to stay on top of it
and oh boy oh my god. ive seen people talking about how good the show is, and how much sunraku sounds like a japanese gaming youtuber n stuff. but no one has been talking about how much work the dub has been putting in??? sunraku has been saying so much streamer slang that i double over laughing rewatching. "poggers" "suh dude" "f in the chat" dude im going feral over this show i love this so much
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