#I made these in a fugue state

[raindropwindow]

dreamer trilogy / greywaren art part 3

[ashoss]

steal his look!!!

[tradingjack]

From the firmament above, a blood-red eye looks down upon us.

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy birthday to my forty three shades of Fernando 🥳🎉

Let me know which is your fav variant!

Top from left to right: Matador, Nnadopoleon, Aston(obv), Boy King AU, Bond AU

Bottom from left to right: Ferrari, Post Retirement Vegas Magician Fernando, Renault

[mashamorevvna]

(original pic)

[gordonsicedcoffee]

LEIGH WHANNELL as DAVID CRUSH (2013) dir. Malik Bader

[worryfornaught]

Widobrave / Imodna, part 1

(part 2 here)

[jack-the-fool]

> The Show Must Go On

[babygirlmickey]

[thebibliosphere]

I did a silly thing.

My disassociated ass didn't notice my wrist was subluxated. I've just been sitting here trying to type like, "wow, I don't seem to be making much progress today. Everything seems to be slowing me down."

That would be why.

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

oh dude plssssss talk more about what's going on with Edd, I know its probs just angst but I'm so curious and would love to know more of ur ideas♡♡♡

well instead of writing down the things ive been thinking of, i fucking. did a whole ass comic. you're welcome :)

prev - next

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Text:

(indistinct)

Tom: Edd, we're taking you to the hospital, okay?

Tm: I'm gonna make the call. Tord, get the car started.

Tm: Tord?

Tm: TORD!

Tord: Yes, yes!

Matt: Tom and I are going to stay with Edd, okay?

M: Will you be alright parking the car?

Td: Yeah. Go catch up with Edd.

M: Thanks, Tord.

[scratchzane]

[emeraldotter]

morning routine

[bluechanas]

fuck it zosan princess bride au

[wolfdog1974]

cosplay

[lakesbian]

alec's specific brand of trauma is Really Something because it's like. having a father who only interacted with him to scare the piss out of him for any perceived slight and/or with the explicit intent of psychologically breaking him: pretty bad. being groomed into hypersexuality & child prostituted: also pretty bad for his mental wellbeing. but being forced to torture and/or murder people, being coerced into a state where he's capable of unflinchingly raping people before he's thirteen--being groomed into becoming his father--is like. a Very Specific Level Of Issue. systematic stripping of not only physical and sexual autonomy but ethical autonomy, being turned into nothing but an extension of the violence enacted by the person he hates most. full ownership over his body and mind.

like, when you're 12 and shooting someone because daddy said if you don't he's going to shoot you, you do the action first, you alter your mind to be Okay With It afterwards--because if you're not okay with it you're going to break--and then there's nothing of you left because it's all been taken away or changed so you could survive. just sort of utter nothing-matters nihilism by age 13 because he wasn't allowed to have anything for himself, not even the most basic moral compass, not even the ability to walk away and tell anyone about what happened to him without being seen as rotten himself, an abuser first and a victim second. no one will ever talk about what happened to alec without the caveat of "but." the caveat of "he was just a kid, but he still..." he doesn't get to show himself to anyone without the awareness that he's going to be seen as some form of fundamentally bad just by virtue of being a vasil, of having done the things that vasils do.

literally no wonder one of the only times he's ever even remotely visibly upset by something is when taylor--literally one of the only people he has in life, part of the closest thing he has to a family--insinuates he might want to turn out like his father, when the most core aspect of his trauma is not what was done to him but what he was turned into. if there's one thing that can upset him, it's the idea that he's still seen as that 13yo kid who was more of heartbreaker's weapon than he was a person, or that he's seen as wanting to be that way. he spends the first 13 years of his life having any attempt at establishing any form of his own identity razed down before it can even begin--as of story start, he's had all of 2 1/2 years to become his own person, because everything before that belonged solely to his father. so he is sort of ridiculously well-adjusted given the circumstances. but awful by any other metric--and there's the caveat, of course, the But, because the ability to make decisions that don't result in people saying But was very intentionally taken from him.

and when he does finally find something (someone) to care about, when he reclaims the ability to have his own strong emotions and desires and moral compass, he cares about it so much he dies for it. he's been waiting his entire life to have something he's allowed to care about and when he finally gets it, when he finally has that autonomy, he chooses to do the most unselfish possible thing with it. it's a single moment of refutation against everything he was molded to be--everything he still doesn't know how not to be, sometimes--where he realizes that, fuck it, he just wants to do something good for what he cares about. wants it more than he wants anything else on the planet, more than a million dollars or any amount of fame. he's finally in control of his body and his mind and his feelings, after 13 years of being a marionette and 2 years of slowly learning how to cut off the strings, and he decides that what he wants, now that what he wants actually matters, is to give all of himself to doing something good because he cares. in the end, he finally got to define himself by what he wanted to be instead of what he was made to be, and what he wanted to be was a good friend.

it's a good character arc okay. i like it.