#I mean It’s a banger line I just think about this every time

[bdoubleowo]

Forever haunted by the fact that in Hermigang Welsknight says “you’re guilty of getting murdered with words”

Murder victims tend. not to be considered the guilty party in that. exchange.

[keepingsecretstokeepyoutk]

This is going to be very long and sound a little crazy at first, and maybe a little mean but please hear me out…

I’m convinced that Taylor sometimes purposefully includes one line or multiple lines of poorly written or clunky lyrics in specific songs to make a point.

We all have seen some version of this with bearding songs like London Boy, a simple bop whose lyrics were immediately detected as sounding disingenuous, even with the general population (the locations she was signing about were the most touristy and too far away from each other to visit on the same day, etc, basically implying that she doesn’t actually have a long term local bf there that she spends a bunch of time with exploring the city with, etc).

But just like everything else on the album, I think she’s doing maybe a more in your face version of that. No holds barred.

So High School is an obvious example of this, with all of the early 2000’s hs imagery, she seems pretty blatantly to be mocking the idea the public has of her “living out every American girl’s high school fantasy” of dating the tall popular football player. With lyrics like “touch me while your friends play grand theft auto” (barf), etc, shes being clear enough that this is not a serious song.

This is the possibly controversial part, but I’m so curious to see what others think about this - I think another iteration of this on this album is the title track, The Tortured Poets Department. Hear me out.

(First, I want to reassure you that there are lines in this song that I really like and think are well written, like: “you’re in self-sabotage mode/throwing spikes down on the road” and “but you awaken with dread/pounding nails in your head/but I’ve read this one/where you come undone/I chose this cyclone with you”. And I fully agree with the idea that these sentiments are from Karlie’s perspective. Basically, when you take out the chunks I’m about to talk about this song makes way more sense and has a beautiful sentiment of undying love behind it - which makes the following parts stick out that much more!)

The first time I listened through the album, and this was the second song, I got terrified because I didn’t understand its place in the whole narrative and when I heard the first clunky line “scratch your head like a tattooed golden retriever” I got the ick. Then the bridge with no structure and no wit and no clever turns of phrase, no metaphor, just “you put my ring on the finger people put wedding rings on” and “that was the closest I’ve ever been to my heart exploding”. So over simplified and cheesy, and doesn’t sound anything like her writing, especially the caliber of her recent lyrics

I know art is largely subjective, but I insist there is no way that the same person who wrote Cowboy Like Me wrote these lines into her title track if she didn’t have a reason and a point to make. To make it clear that this isn’t a matter of genre personal taste, because I know CLM is a very specific sound and a style that music snobs often take more seriously - I love SO many of her candy pop bangers, they are infinitely more clever, articulate, and overall works of art by a true wordsmith than this. Karma, The Very First Night, etc are all a master classes in clever words and tight writing being tucked into an “unserious” pop song.

The lyrics I cited above to me sound like what haters believe her writing sounds like, even fans who make little jokey TikTok’s about her and make up a spoofy something to sing while in character - that’s what these lyrics sound like.

Im worried im being too harsh, but please stay with me because the more I think about the more genius I think it actually is.

In the context of the themes of rest of the album, (her being trapped, miserable, manipulated, ready to burn it all down, screaming to be seen) this theory became clear to me. I think she’s leaning into her public persona (in more ways than one, we’ve already seen it with the stunting), in a way setting a “trap” for her fans and the public, that will essentially call them all out on how they ignored the real her in favor of her pr narrative, making the album about paternity tests, etc, all of which I’m guessing will become very clear in retrospect, possibly after she comes out? (Of course it’s already clear to us now, which is another purpose of the beard songs including clunky writing - to signal to us that these are not serious and that she knows that we know that she knows (like Phoebe on friends lol))

Ultimately, this is (along with So Highschool) a classic beard song. When she writes in this voice, she embodies the most extreme versions of her public persona, not just the one she has cultivated on purpose, but also the one that people have of her that don’t know her (as she did in Blank Space), including those that don’t take her seriously - because her identity as a boy crazy psycho ex girlfriend is directly tied to people dismissing her art as vapid because, they’ve only ever heard her singles, they don’t know the full her.

That voice is the straightest, the most boy crazy, the most one note, and sometimes the most unsophisticated writer version of her that people have in their minds, including her fans - the fans that refuse to see her as a whole person, the real, that believe she is head over heals for big football boy, that believe “he knows how to ball, I know Aristotle” is a romantic line about how opposites attract, the fans that say they don’t “get” some of her most beautiful and well-written songs, the fans that don’t see her and haven’t been seeing her.

They didn’t see giant Taylor on the eras tour, they refuse to see all of her queer signaling, etc, and I think she’s making the bearding songs obvious to underscore the difference between her Taylor(TM) and Taylor(person) personas.

She knows that despite the fact that the lyrics don’t even come close to measuring up to the rest of the album, the public, and many of her fans, will make this song one of the most listened to simply because they are looking for evidence of her relationships from the past year. We’ve all commented on how insane it is that this layered, complex, devastating album is being reduced to the usual paternity tests. This is currently one of the top songs precisely because it is “about Matty”. And of course, So High School is one of the tops songs along with it because it’s “about Travis”.

The juxtaposition of the bearding songs alongside her beautifully written poetry of Prophecy, Peter, Whose Afraid of Little Old Me, Cassandra, How did it end, The Albatross, etc mirrors the juxtaposition of her two selves during the Midnights era.

She has proven the point that if they think she wrote every line of this song completely in earnest, then they see her largely no differently than her haters do, as a subpar writer who writes absurdly cheesy love songs praising trashy to mediocre, problematic men. By eating it up they tell her that’s what she’s good for, for being the subject of tabloids and warring fans who make this entire album about two (purposefully) mediocre songs and the men who “inspired” them.

She has proven her point - that a subset of her fans will be distracted by a lesser song simply because they think it’s about one of the greasy men that’s she been seen holding hands with. That they will ignore once again all of her pleas to be seen, that she’s in pain and caged, and has been driven insane by their willful ignorance. That they don’t appreciate her full potential and talent, that they don’t even see it, and just want to be confirmed in their ideation of her.

This song is essentially the “forget him(her)” pill at the beginning of the fortnight mv, but it’s a sedative for the fans, who are addicted to her straight narrative. Similar to Willow’s 13 chants of “that’s my man” that started off evermore, casting a spell of heteronormativity over everyone who wanted it, so that they could choose to just completely ignore the following 14 gayest songs ever written. Don’t pay no mind to her singing directly about women with zero male perspective - she said “that’s my man!” We’re good! She’s still straight!

Taylor in the fortnight mv had to a take a sedative to be able to go into the next room and write her bearding songs - ie she self medicates to deal with keeping up the straight persona and to get through having to release dumbed down songs to feed the masses. (I also see the pill as something forced on her, I think it represents both layers)

From the first time I watched the music video I thought the writing Taylor looked so miserable and the bearding songs are why.

In this room she’s trapped, churning out the songs that her fans expect of her, the songs that make her team money, the songs that make her money, but that she has to compromise her truth to create.

But when she frees herself she’ll burn the stories that weren’t true, the filler that doesn’t represent her.

I’m curious to hear other’s thoughts on this - have you ever felt like Taylor purposefully inserts off-sounding lyrics that are written in a different voice to make a point?

I want to reiterate that it’s not the entirety of either song that I think is terrible, I genuinely love bopping along to both So High School and TTPD (track). Like I said above, when you remove the clunky lines from ttpd (track), the song has another layer and likely gives voice to some Karlie insight that is beautiful and tragically profound. It’s the red herrings, the pieces specifically meant to tie this song to a bearding narrative, that I’m dissing, and the only reason they are suspicious in the first place is because I know how gifted Taylor is with the written word.

Taylor is such a skilled writer that she can embody the voice of the bad writer that dismissive ignorant idiots believe her to be, just to make a point!

I even wonder if maybe there is a second version of this song locked away in one of those drawers in the fortnight writing room that leaves out the red herrings and is a thousand times better than the bearding version we got.

I hope one day we get to hear it.

[aalyssah]

Whipped

Pairing: Solo Sikoa x Fem!Bloodline!Reader

Warnings: Fluff!

Word Count: 1,391

Summary: Ever since you joined the team the boys notice how whipped you got Solo and tease him for it.

A/N: I know I’ve used this gif like 3 times, but it fits so well with everything! Hope You Enjoy!

It's been 3 months since you joined the Bloodline after impressing the leader Roman, and you're so glad you did because you have an amazing friendship with each and every member.

You and Jimmy are the clowns of the team. Always making jokes about people, not caring what they think.

You and Jey are kinda chill. Y'all talk to each other, but you're not that close.

And then there's Solo.

Solo's gotta be your favorite out of everyone. You don't know what it is about him, but you're so drawn to him. He barely even talks and he's got you like this.

You're always hanging out with him and making sure he feels included even when not talking, and that's probably what makes him feel so special to you.

-

Right now, you, Jimmy, and Jey walked backstage as Jey patted your arms and neck with a towel. You just won your match against Zelina Vega, which was very easy.

“That match was a banger, Uce." You smiled at Jimmy's praise. "I know. I'm so tired of getting jobbers. Where’s the real competition at?" You complained, walking through the locker room door.

Roman was sitting on his throne with Solo and Paul standing behind him. You instantly made a b-line for Solo, hugging on his arm. “Did you see my match? I won!” Solo chuckled, nodding his head. “Yeah.” He shortly answered.

You squealed, jumping up and down. “I looked good didn’t I?” The boys watched as you gave Solo all your attention. “Speaking of looking good, is this new gear? You look real good in black and white.” The clearing of a throat cut your sweet conversation short.

You turned around and saw Roman staring at you. “What?” You didn’t mean for your sassy tone to come out. Roman cocked an eyebrow up. “So you’re not gonna talk to us?”

You ‘thought’ about it for a minute, before answering. “Uh, no? Come on Solo, let’s go to the catering before your match!” You dragged Solo out the locker room, leaving a shocked Roman and Uso’s.

“Damn Uce, she told you.” Jimmy joked, but shut up when Roman gave him a death glare.

The boys sat back, waiting for Solo’s match to come on.

-

About 20 minutes later, Solo’s match came on. You accompanied him to the ring as he was set to fight Santos Escobar with Zelina in his corner.

As Santos made his entrance you sat on the top turnbuckle with Solo standing between your legs, and back facing you. You massaged his shoulders, helping him calm down before the match.

As Santos got in the ring Solo helped you through the ropes, opening them for you. At the locker room the Uso’s and Roman were making jokes about Solo, seeing how he was quick to do everything for you.

His match was going well, but Zelina must’ve thought she was gonna do something when she hopped on the apron. You were quick to run around the ring and swipe her feet off. She groaned in pain as her face hit the hard apron.

With the small distraction Solo hit Santos with a Samoan Spike before getting the pin. Fans booed and cheered as the 3 count hit. You jumped up and down, clapping loud. “My baby won!” You slid into the ring, pushing the referee and taking her place.

You raised his hand high, yelling at the fans who were booing. “Shut up, you’re just mad he’s better!” Solo bit back a smile, not wanting to break character.

After a little bit of celebrating you both made your way backstage and to the locker room. “Solo won! He beat Santos’s ass!” Solo finally broke character, laughing at your words. “Yeah, Solo’s the man!” Jimmy said, patting Solo’s chest.

Roman stood up from his throne, silencing everyone. “We’re not done. We got a promo tonight.” Everyone looked confused at his words. “We do?” Jey asked, earning a nod from Roman.

“Yeah, Judgement Day wanna call us out on Twitter, so let’s go put them in their place. Everyone, go wash up and change.” Everyone parted ways going to the showers.

After everyone showered and met up at the gorilla, the Bloodline music played, Roman taking lead and then everyone else.

Many fans held their ones up, supporting the team. You were with Solo the whole time despite the fact you were supposed to be on the side with Jey.

Roman talked in the microphone about how y’all were the best team that happens to WWE, but it wasn’t long before the Judgment Day’s theme hit.

Fans stood up, excited for what’s next between the two teams.

They entered the ring, everyone staring down at each other. Rhea winked at you, then grabbed a mic. “Oh Roman, please shut up. You’re just talking and talking about shit that nobody cares about.” Fans began to cheer as Rhea spoke.

Dominik laughed, getting the mic from Rhea. “Yeah and when-” As soon as Dominik began to speak fans booed. The whole Bloodline started laughing. You grabbed the mic from Roman.

“Oh, Dommy Dom, can you talk or are the fans louder than your voice?” You teased. “Or does Mami need to do all the talking for you?” All attention turned to Rhea as you challenged her.

Rhea laughed when you came after her. “Are you talking to me Y/n or do you need permission from Roman?” ‘Ooos’ echoed around the arena as your tongue poked through your cheek.

“Rhea, I might need permission on what I do with the team, but I don’t need permission from Roman to beat your ass. So if I was you, I would take you, your team, and Dommy boy out of this arena and go back to where you came from.” Fans watched in anticipation as you and Rhea exchanged words.

Rhea was about to say something, but JD snatched the mic away. “Oi, who do you think you’re talking to like that? Don’t ever talk to Mami like that again.”

You stepped back as JD got closer and closer to your face. “Solo!” You called. Solo was at your side in an instant, standing in front of you, and staring JD down. JD gulped seeing how serious Solo looked. “Oh, what’s wrong Jordon? Can’t handle my man? You might have Mami, but she’s NOTHING compared to Solo.”

It was all still in the ring, everyone looking at each other before all hell broke loose. Hits were being thrown. Roman was after Finn, Jimmy was on Priest, Jey with Dominik, and Solo after JD.

You fought Rhea for a little bit, but she quickly retreated, grabbing Dominik on her way out. The team stalked up the ramp, holding their body in pain.

“Bye, bye!” You waved, laughing as they cursed at you, but you couldn’t hear due to the loud fans. You went to Solo almost jumping on his body, hugging him. “You were so hot fighting JD.” You kissed his cheek, a blush spreading across his face.

Fans took pictures of the blushing Solo, surprised to see him break character. You all went backstage to get your bags.

After all that fighting Jimmy grew thirsty and seeing Solo with a water bottle made him ask. “Yo Uce, let me get some water.” Solo gave Jimmy the dirtiest glare. “Damn man, calm down I wanted some water, but nevermind.” Jimmy said, holding his hands up in surrender.

You came through the door with your bags in hand, panting. “Oh my god, I need some water, I’m so thirsty!” Before you went to Solo, Jimmy warned you. “Don’t go to Solo. He’s not gonna give you any wat-” Jimmy stopped talking as he watched Solo hand you the bottle of water.

He looked betrayed as you drank the cold water. “Are you serious bro, I wanted some!” The locker room was full of laughter as you gave Solo his water back.

“Don’t be mad, Uce. Y/n’s got Solo so whipped, it’s crazy.” Jey said and to everyone’s surprise Solo didn’t argue back.

You winked at the team with a smile. “I would be to if I was dating someone like me. Come on baby, let’s go to the hotel!” Solo got up quickly, taking all 3 of your medium sized bags and going to the car.

[stormy-river]

Transcripts from the Humanity Hotline 6

I usually put words up here... huh... what to say... (Thanks for all the continued support on this silly little project of mine)

----

Operator: "Hi, my name is Mindy. How may I help you today?"

Caller 1: "Greetings, Mindy. We've had a human on board for a while now, and everything has seemed fine so far, but a few minutes ago I passed by his workstation and he was listening to music, and I heard some of the words in the song and now I'm concerned for the safety of my ship and crew. I don't dare repeat what I heard, but it was about a violent mutiny."

O: "Alright, this has happened a few times before. For now, I don't think you have anything to worry about, but I would like to get some more information before ending the call."

C1: "I will provide whatever I can."

O: "Great, I don't think this will take long. Do you know what the name of the song is? Or if not, can you ask the human?"

C1: "I don't know the name, but Phil should be on break, and I can add him to the call if that is alright."

O: "Sounds good."

Caller 2: "Hey, Captain! What's up? Who's on the other line?"

C1: "Greetings, Phil. This is Mindy, and we are discussing a concern I have from earlier."

O: "Hi! It's Phil, right? I'm Mindy from the Humanity Hotline. I have a couple questions for you."

C2: "Oh... what did I do this time?"

O: "Don't worry, I have a feeling it's a misunderstanding. I'm told you were listening to music earlier. Is there a specific song or playlist you were listening to?"

C2: "Um, a pop playlist I made a few weeks back."

O: "Is 'Tricked-Out Ships' on this playlist?"

C2: "Yeah, it's a banger. How'd you know?"

O: "Just a hunch. Have you listened to the lyrics?"

C2: "Eh, not really. They're kinda lost in the music, right? Should I look them up or something?"

O: "Please do."

[Approx. 3 minutes removed for lack of necessity.]

C2: "This.. is awful. The song is ruined."

C1: "You mean to tell me that humans will listen to music without knowing what they are listening to?"

O: "Not every human, and not every song, but it does happen surprisingly often."

C1: "Interesting. Thank you for your help, Mindy."

C2: [rustling and humming sounds]

O: "Happy to help. Is everything alright, Phil? There's some static or something."

C2: "Oh, it's paper. I'm writing new lyrics so I can enjoy the song again."

End Transmission

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙼𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝚄𝙽𝚂𝙾𝙽𝚂 - chapter 3: louder than hell.

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 - living with eddie continues to have its ups and downs, but maybe you two can find an understanding. or, maybe not.

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 5.3k

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 - mentions/description of deceased parents, descriptions of drug use/smoking, mentions/description of hard drug abuse and overdose, ridiculous sibling arguments, fluff and wholesomeness and excessive transcription of scenes from a real episode of the partridge family

You groaned as you wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, a thin sheen of sweat having formed from all the effort you’d been putting into trying to clean your room.

Eddie had all but trashed the place, random junk all over every surface; he seemed to have a habit of setting something down the first spot he could find when he was done and just leaving it there.  When you told him to clean up, he usually ignored you— or pretended not to hear you since he either had headphones on to listen to a tape or was practicing his deafening guitar— so you’d gotten into a habit of doing it yourself.  You were on your knees on the ground now, trying to separate the dirty clothes, unfinished homework, and trash into three different piles.

“Liquor store receipt, trash,” you mumbled to yourself.  “First page of an essay about… General Custer?  Homework.  I mean, kind of trash but… technically homework.”

You made your way around the room, eventually getting to clear off your desk and vanity; of course, when he got home from Hellfire, you were doing the one thing you didn’t want him to catch you doing— thinning out the shelf of albums.  You were in the middle of pulling one of his records out when he slammed his hand over it to push it back in.  “Hey!” he yelped, glaring at you.  “Don’t touch my stuff!”

“My room, my stuff,” you replied, trying to pull another record out, but he grabbed your hand this time which startled you.

“Our room,” he corrected, “my albums.  No touchy.”

“Your records are crowding mine!” you explained.  “There’s no room!”

“Yeah?  Your records are tainting mine!” he replied indignantly.  “I mean, Escape and Frontiers I’ll forgive, Journey has a few bangers but come on— your Make It Big next to my Animalize is criminal.  It’s going to infect it with its… suckiness, somehow.”

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you there because George Michael is a god,” you sneered, “that your little pea brain simply can’t comprehend!”

“George Michael is a hack!” he spat back, and you gasped— like he’d put out his cigarette on a statue of baby Jesus or something.  Except that this was infinitely worse.

“You take that back,” you ordered.

“Prove me wrong,” he offered instead, “or admit you just think he’s hot and don’t even care about the music.”

“Oh— oh!” you yelped, laughing in pure frustration as you turned and knelt down in front of the stacks of records.  “I’ll prove you wrong.”

“I swear, if you try to make me listen to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go—” he began to warn you.

“No, no way,” you shook your head, “we’re listening to his masterpiece.”

The drums started, and already Eddie was trying to turn the record player off.

“No,” you insisted— not quite a bark, but very stern— as you grabbed his arms.  He stilled and looked at you again, swallowing as your fingers dug into the sleeves of his jacket.  “Just listen.  Wait for the bass line.”

It came in a second later.  You watched his face as he listened: he didn’t react too visibly, but you waited in anticipation for him to be forced to eat his words.

“Somebody told me—” the lyrics began, in George’s beautiful voice, and you saw Eddie’s eyes narrow.  The bass was more prominent as the first verse continued, and you smiled as Eddie nodded slightly.

“Okay, that’s…” he trailed off, smiling as he met your gaze.  “That’s actually kinda sick.”

“I know!” you agreed.  

“Man, that bass with some guitars would be so good!” he whined.  “Why did he have to make pop and not metal?  He would’ve been amazing.”

“He is amazing,” you frowned.

“Fair enough,” Eddie nodded.  “I don’t know about a god but, sure, he’s pretty good.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled as you reached to take the needle off the record, but his hand suddenly landed on your wrist.  

“Uh, you don’t— um, have to turn it off so fast,” he stammered, and you smiled.

“Do we have a new Wham!-head on our hands?” 

He scoffed.  “No way.  Just giving them a fair shake is all— after this song’s over I wanna play you something by Poison that I think you’ll like…”

Your mom pulled her translucent shawl up over her shoulders as she stepped out onto the porch.

"Have her back by eleven, mister," Eddie wagged his finger at Wayne, who chuckled along with your mom as they walked down the steps together.

He waved one more time before shutting the door, and letting out a quick breath as he turned to look at you.

"We throwin' a rager or what?" he prompted.

"A rager that ends by eleven?" you raised an eyebrow, though you didn’t look up at him for more than a second from where you sat on the couch— you were too busy reading Persuasion for far from the first time.

"I was just kidding," he smiled, "but next time we'll get them to stay out all night so we can really do something."

"I don't like the idea of them out all night," you shuddered, focusing on the book in front of you— but of course, you couldn’t really focus with him bothering you still.

"Don't be a prude, they're engaged," he crossed his arms.  "It's not like they haven't—"

"Stop," you groaned.

"It upsets you that much?" he laughed.

"I'm not saying they're not allowed to do it, I'm just saying I don't want to think about it."

“Then just be thankful their bedroom’s on the other side of the house from ours,” he grinned as he hopped over the arm of the couch to sit next to you.  You scooted further away.

“They should be, too; they don’t have to hear you snore,” you returned, still looking at your book as you turned the page.  Unfortunately, after that, you had one of those thoughts that, once you had it, you had to ask.  “Oh god,” you groaned, looking up from your book and grimacing slightly at him, “my mom stayed over at your place some nights, didn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Eddie shrugged.

“You didn’t… hear them…” you trailed off, widening your eyes and leaning your head forward a bit.

“What, fuck?” Eddie laughed.  “No— when Wayne was bringing her over he’d let me know in advance and I would… find other lodgings for the evening.  You know, give ‘em some space, crash at Rick’s or something.”

“How… considerate,” you offered, though it was mostly sarcastic.  You didn’t like imagining this ‘gentleman’s agreement’ Eddie and Wayne had concerning your mother.

“I mean, that’s just common courtesy,” Eddie smirked, “you know— when the trailer’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’, and all that.”

“Gross,” you frowned.

“He’d do the same for me,” Eddie explained.

“If you were actually getting any,” you added.

“Well,” Eddie clarified, “if I had a girlfriend, I mean.”

“Oh,” you grinned, “so you don’t just bring any girl back to the trailer, huh?”

He snorted.  “No, definitely not.”

“Because she’d turn and run as soon as she saw how filthy that place was?”

“Hey,” he frowned, “it wasn’t filthy… there was just a mild griminess.”

There was a long pause, but it was only awkward for one of you— he was rubbing his hands on his jeans and looking around while you paid attention to your book again, hardly noticing he was there anymore.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” he wondered.

“We?” you repeated.

“I mean, house to ourselves has to be good for something.”

“You better not smoke any fucking pot,” you snapped.

“That was only one of my ideas,” he smirked.  “You’ve really never smoked?”

“I never said that,” you mumbled, and you saw him peer at you over the top of your book with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Oh, I wanna know that story,” he pleaded.  “Was it high school?  Wait, did Rick sell you stuff?”

“No, and no,” you sighed.  “It doesn’t matter.”

“Matters to me!” he insisted.

“So do a lot of things that don’t actually matter,” you shrugged.

His finger hooked around the top of your book, in the spine’s crease, and he pulled it down to meet your unamused stare.  “C’mooooon,” he whined, “I’m curious what occasion would make a good girl like you decide to get stoned.”

“It was after I broke up with Gary,” you explained, sighing as you shut your book and set it down.  He pulled his legs up onto the couch like he was waiting for some juicy, riveting story.  “I went to a party with some people from my Intro to English class.”

He blinked at you as he waited.  “And?”

“And, we smoked.”

“Oh my god!” he groaned, his head falling back dramatically.  “That’s so boring!  You skipped the good part.”

“What good part?”

“Why you did it,” he answered.

“I wanted to fit in, I guess?  They were passing it around, I felt weird being the only one not smoking.”

“Did you cough?”

“Of course I did,” you rolled your eyes, “I’m not a professional pothead like you.”

“Hey, I’m cutting back,” he defended, raising his hands defensively.  “Just nights and weekends now.”

“Just— just nights and weekends?!” you repeated.  “So… what?”

“So, I don’t get stoned at school anymore,” he explained confidently.

“Wow,” you congratulated flatly, “better start writing your valedictorian speech.”

“Don’t need to be the best, unlike some of us who are terminally competitive,” he grumbled, “just need to graduate.  Sick of being in fucking high school.”

“I’m sure,” you nodded.

“Is college cool?” he wondered.  “Like, are the people chill?”

“Uh, I guess…” you shrugged.  Not that that’s something you need to be worrying about with your grades.

“Do you have any friends?” he asked, point blank, and you kicked him semi-lightly in the side.  

“Shut up!” you frowned.

“Okay, that’s a no,” he widened his eyes as he looked away.

“I mean, I have friends,” you disagreed, “just not like, close friends?  I guess?”

“You never have anybody over,” he recalled.  “And you never call anybody.”

“Not when you’re home,” you corrected.  “I can’t ‘cause you’re always on the fucking line with your Hellfire pals.”

“You could talk to them!” he offered.  “Might be the only chance some of them would get to talk to a girl at all.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you rolled your eyes.  “Believe it or not, I’ve kind of outgrown high schoolers.  Unlike some of us who are terminally immature.”

“Aw, look at us,” he clicked his tongue, tilting his head as he smiled at you.  “The witty repartee, the flinging of insults— this is better than throwing a party.”

You groaned and pulled up your book again, opening it to where you’d left off.  “Okay, I’m done,” you mumbled.

“If you say so,” he shrugged, but he was smiling mischievously.

“In fact, now that I know it’s fun for you, I’m never arguing with you again,” you decided.  “Conversation over.”

“Don’t say that,” he pouted, but there was a dark shine to his stare as he continued.  “You know it’s never over with us, sweetheart.”

You really, really hoped he couldn’t see the way you shivered when he said that…

Before you could worry about how to respond, he got up— your eyes couldn’t help but follow him, lingering on the bandana dangling out of his back pocket— before he turned around and you shot your eyes back to the pages of your book.  Why is he so distracting now, just standing there?  I can’t even tell if this book is in English anymore, I swear it was before…

“I’m gonna practice guitar,” he informed you.

“Not while I’m trying to read, you’re not,” you frowned.  “That thing is so goddamn loud—”

“Acoustic,” he explained with a small, condescending smile.  “Won’t offend your delicate little ears.”

“Great,” you hummed in reply, and he disappeared back into your shared bedroom as you focused in on your book again.

You could just barely hear him, but it wasn’t so bad, so you didn’t shout for him to shut the door.  He tinkered around with a few songs, none of which you thought much of until halfway into his practice.  Your mind was so occupied with reading Jane Austen that you didn’t even really consciously realize that you were listening to the riff he was playing, or that you recognized it in the back of your mind.

You didn’t even notice that you were quietly singing along.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older,” you mumbled, “then we wouldn’t have to wait so long…”

The music stopped, and you swallowed as you realized you’d sung; his head popped out of the doorway, smiling wide.  “You have a nice voice,” he offered.

“Sorry,” you cleared your throat, “I didn’t— I wasn’t trying to interrupt.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he smiled, setting the guitar down against the wall and stepping up to the couch.

“I’m surprised you know that song,” you admitted.

“It was one of the first ones I learned,” he recalled.  “My mom really liked The Beach Boys.”

You glanced down awkwardly; you were pretty sure he wasn’t using the past tense because she stopped liking the band…

“Sing along to whatever you want,” he offered.

“N-no, I’ll just keep reading,” you decided.  “But you can keep playing… you can play here if you want.”

“Really?”

You shrugged, and he grabbed the guitar by the neck, sitting down and setting it up in his lap oncemore.

You only recognized a couple more songs after that— Hotel California, Tangerine by Zeppelin, and You Can’t Always Get What You Want— but didn’t sing along to any of them.  Occasionally, you heard him humming the melody or mumble-singing the lyrics, and you smiled to yourself.

After a while, you weren’t even reading anymore, just listening.

You furrowed your brow as you listened to him singing something, only able to make out a few words.  Something about she’s so lovely and she’s so fine and take me home— pretty vague, could be anything.

“What song is that?” you finally asked.

“O-oh,” he choked, “um, I wrote that one, actually.”

“You write your own songs?” you realized, impressed.  He shrugged.  “Is that what Corroded Coffin plays?”

“Oh— not this one,” he shook his head, “too sappy.  But yeah, sometimes we play stuff I wrote.”

“That’s cool,” you smiled.  “Is it about a girl?”

“Let’s talk about something else,” he blurted out suddenly.

“Aw, come on,” you teased, “it is, right?  Is it about a specific girl, or just… a hypothetical girl?”

He laughed a little.  “Um, a real one.”

You raised an eyebrow.  “Did you guys ever go out?”  You tilted your head when he scoffed and looked away.  “Really?  Maybe if you played her the song, she would’ve wanted to go out.”

“Does that work?” he wondered, looking at you again.

“I mean, seems to work on most girls,” you shrugged.  “She’ll forget that the guy’s a total dog or a douche or just a good old fashioned loser— so long as he’s a sexy guitar player or whatever.”

“Which one of those am I?” he laughed.

“All of the above,” you decided, “except sexy.”

Of course, one instance of Eddie practicing quietly couldn’t last.  The next day, he was back to the abrasive, headache-inducing squeals of his electric guitar on the amp, impossible to block out even as you covered your ears and put all your mental effort into studying.  Finally, when you were frustrated with trying to ignore it, you stood up defiantly from your seat at the kitchen table and marched across the hallway.

You swung the bedroom door open, hit with a wave of even louder sound, and the sight of him strumming quickly— his head was hung low at first, though it fell backward as he continued and you could see that his eyes were closed.  

“Hey!” you barked.  “Eddie!”

He was still playing, starting to rock his head back and forth and sending his hair flying every which way.

“Munson!  Pencildick!” you tried to get his attention, but you couldn’t even hear yourself with how loud it was.  “COULD YOU TURN IT DOWN?!” you screamed.  He either couldn’t hear you still or was simply ignoring you; you stormed across the room, interrupting his headbanging, and grabbed the neck of the guitar tightly.  The sounds came to a literal screeching halt, leaving only the ambient buzzing of the amp to fill the air.

“Hey!” he defended.  “I was shredding.”

“Yeah, shredding my eardrums,” you spat.  “I’m trying to study.  I have a test coming up.”

“Oh wow, big photography test?” he rolled his eyes.  “What studying do you have to do, making sure you know which button actually takes the picture?”

“No, it’s for my math class,” you frowned, “now could you please keep it down!”

“This is just the volume of metal, my dear,” he sighed, “can’t help you, sorry.”

You groaned as you turned around, kneeling quickly to find the volume knob on his amp and spin it to the left.

“Damn it!” he snapped, bending down and turning it back.  “What did I tell you about touching my stuff?”

“Do it more ‘cause you love it so much?” you guessed.

“First my records, then you grab my guitar, now the amp?” he sneered.  “Is nothing sacred?  How would you like it if I touch your stuff?”

You thought it was a hypothetical until he took the guitar off over his shoulder and set it down, the motion making a slightly-melodic buzz come out of the speaker.  He stormed across the room to your closet, throwing it open as you tried to reach around him to stop him.  “Get out!” you whined as he dug around through your clothes, taking a pink dress off the hanger and tossing it over his shoulder.  “Hey!”

He found another dress, a black one, and he snickered at it.  “Cute,” he decided before throwing it, too.  You ran to try to pick up your clothes from the floor, but when you turned back to look at him, he was holding onto your stuffed bear.

“Don’t touch that,” you warned him.

“Who’s gonna stop me?” he grinned.

You ran up to him and reached for it, but he held it up high above his head and watched you struggle with a proud smile.  "Eddie, give it back!" you whined, jumping up to try to grab it.

"Nuh uh," he laughed.

"Stop!" you groaned.

"You can come get it for yourself, sweetheart," he taunted, knowing you couldn't reach.  When you almost managed to grab it, he held you back with his free hand to keep you away.

"Just give it back, Eddie," you begged, starting to get really upset, "my dad gave me that!"

He brought his arm down in a split second, and you snatched the bear from him to hug it to your chest.  "I'm sorry," he said instantly, clearing his throat and looking around sheepishly.  "I didn't know… I was just trying to— I didn't know."

You sniffled a little, and he looked at you again, eyebrows tilted with a guilty, almost pleading look.  "It's okay," you assured quietly.  "Just don't take my stuff anymore, please…"

"I won't, I swear," he promised.

You nodded, resting your chin on Barry's head.  Eddie sighed a little, looking at you more gently than you could ever remember him looking at you before.

"How old were you when your dad…?" he asked quietly.

"Twelve," you answered.  "He got sick when I was eleven, but he died a week before I turned thirteen."

"That's a hard time for that," he nodded.  "Not that there's any good time for that but, damn, thirteen is hard enough."

You widened your eyes and blew out a breath as if to say, yeah, no shit.

"I wish I had my mom that long, though," he added, and you looked up at him.  He scratched behind his ear for a second, looking off to the side and staring at your wall.  "I was nine."

"Was she sick?" you wondered.

"Yeah, something like that," he sighed.  "She got better for a while— for me— but she started using again, she didn't know her limits… I found her, actually, and she still had the needle in her arm."

"Oh, god," you breathed, "Ed, I'm so—"

"Don't worry about it," he shrugged, looking at you again and wearing a more familiar, playful expression on his face.  "I got to go live with my dad after that, and he was buckets of fun.  It was like summer camp with the Boy Scouts, but less knots and more crime."

You snorted a small laugh through your nose.  "Sounds cool."

"And now that you know my sob story, you can't get on my case for being a delinquent anymore," he grinned.

"But can I still silently judge you?" you pouted.

"Of course," he winked.  "Anyways, point is— sorry for taking the bear.  I guess I just wanted to try out some of the annoying-older-brother classics."

"Don't apologize to me," you suggested, "apologize to him."

You held the bear out with one hand, pointing it right at his face.

"His name is Barry," you informed him, something he could incorporate into his apology.

"I'm sorry, Barry," Eddie spoke to the stuffy, "you were collateral damage in my war on my sister.  Won't happen again.  If you want, I can make it up to you by setting you up with this saucy little throw pillow from the living room—"

You giggled briefly, and Eddie's eyes darted over at you for a second, with a glimmer in them that made your heart skip a beat.

He looked at the bear again.  "We square?" he asked and after a pause, he reached up and pinched Barry's right paw, gently shaking it.

"Give him a kiss," you demanded suddenly, and Eddie crinkled his nose in disagreement.

"Uh, I think the handshake oughta do it—" he began to argue.

"Give. him. a kiss." You wiggled Barry in front of his face a bit, emphasizing your demand.

Hesitating for a second first, Eddie pursed his lips and gave Barry a kiss on the head.  You pulled the bear back into your chest with a smile.  

“I’ll try not to touch your stuff,” you offered.

“I’ll try to keep the music down,” he replied.

“Great,” you sighed, and you slowly turned and left the room, shutting the door behind you.  You grabbed your textbook and took it outside to study on the porch— it was a little warm outside for it, but sunset was coming and you knew it would cool off quickly.  The silence was so precious after all the noise, and you found yourself losing focus on your practice questions so you could admire the way Hawkins looked bathed in fading purple light.  You didn’t love living here all the time, but it had its perks— and really, you weren’t sure if you could ever bring yourself to leave.

Having to tell Eddie about how you got Barry brought the memory to the forefront of your mind— that must’ve been why you dreamed about it that night, about your dad.

Maybe some people who lose a loved one enjoy dreaming about them, it’s like the last way they can see them anymore.  But you hated it; it was easier just to not think about him.  It was easier to pretend none of those happy memories ever happened, so you wouldn’t have to remember the worst ones too— the medications, the hospitals, the surgeries… the deterioration, right before your eyes.

The dream itself was fine, really; it was sweet.  It was waking up that you hated, because for a split second, you forgot.  And you had to remember all over again that your dad fucking died when you were still just a little kid.

Barry was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes, by your pillow, and you grabbed him as you sat up to go do something other than lay here and cry. 

Of course, when you sat up, your head slammed into the fucking bunk beds again.  You crinkled up your face, more from the frustration than the pain, and let a little fuck slip out as you held your forehead.

Still, you ducked down and got out of bed, navigating your way to the living room.  You glanced at the clock— 1:17 AM.  Something’s probably still on, you thought to yourself.  You grabbed the remote and the folded blanket off of the couch’s back, throwing it over yourself as you flipped it on and turned the volume down to something quiet enough for the wee hours of the morning.

Yes, something was still on— after flipping a couple channels, you found something funny and comfortable to hopefully lull you back to sleep, and you adjusted yourself on the couch as you cuddled up with Barry.

Maybe it was the TV that woke him up, or your head injury on the underside of his bed, or maybe just his instinct to show up and bother you at all times; regardless, within a few minutes, you heard the bedroom door open again.  Eddie’s shadow moved through the dark until you could just barely see him in the light of the screen, sporting his classic pajama combo of soft plaid pants and his necklace and nothing else.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly.  You shook your head, pulling the blanket up higher on your chest.

He sighed a little, crossing the room and standing at the end of the couch— he made a little shooing motion until you moved your feet out of the way and he could plop himself down by your scrunched up legs.

“Whatcha watchin’?” he asked.

“Partridge Family rerun,” you shrugged.

He laughed a little.  “You were totally in love with David Cassidy when you were a little girl, weren’t you?  Shoulda known.”

“Dude, I never stopped loving David Cassidy,” you snorted.  “That’s my man.”

“Uh huh,” he grinned.  “And does Detective Sonny Crockett know about this?”

You smirked.  “He understands.  I loved him first.”

“Yeah, never forget your first love,” he agreed.  

“Who was yours?” you wondered.  “You know, on TV.”

“Is that even a question?” he scoffed.  “Wonder Woman— Lynda Carter.”

“Really?” you giggled.

“Oh yeah,” he nodded, sticking his lips out a bit.  “I had it so bad for her and the little, uh… the little thing she wore…”

He gestured to his waist and crotch vaguely as he tried to think of the word.  “Hotpants?” you offered.

He grinned and snapped his fingers at you.  “Hotpants!” he agreed.  “Yeah, anyways, I watched that show way too much for someone who really isn’t into comic books.”

“You’re just into everything else geeky,” you assumed.

“Hey, listen— I’m not some kind of nerdery slut,” he corrected with raised hands. “I like D&D.  And Lord of the Rings.  And metal, if that counts.”

“The way you like it?  Definitely,” you nodded.  “I’m afraid you’re gonna wear that new Metallica tape out, you keep listening to it over and over.”

He smiled proudly.  “Okay, yeah, I’m a metal geek, then.”

The commercial break ended and with that classic sitcom musical sting, the episode continued.

“Hey, there’s your man,” Eddie nodded at the TV, “and his glorious mullet.”

“Mm,” you hummed appreciatively.  “He does have great hair.”

“Uh, hello?” Eddie prompted, and when you looked over at him, he fluffed his hair with one of his hands.

“Yours is okay,” you offered, “but doesn’t have the same, you know… lusciousness.”

“Pfft,” Eddie scoffed, but he offered no defense as both watched the show again.

It was Keith— aka David Cassidy, your preteen awakening himself— and his middle brother Danny walking to school together.  “I got one!” Danny pointed at him as they strolled.  “You’re so ugly your face oughta be arrested for littering.”  The canned laughter offered support for the mediocre joke, and you smiled a little.  “Top that one.”

“Alright, uh…” Keith replied, “you’re so dumb—”

Danny rolled his eyes.  “Not another ‘you’re so dumb’ insult, not very original.”  Keith frowned as he tried to come up with something better.

“I always wanted a family like that,” Eddie admitted quietly.

“Like what, a band?” you wondered.

“That too,” he nodded.

You frowned as you adjusted on the couch, struggling to get comfortable.  “Can you get up?  I can’t stretch my legs out,” you pouted.

“Yeah you can, just put your feet on my lap,” he offered.

If you were entirely awake, you would’ve questioned that more— but it was that time of night where even the strangest ideas seemed sort of fun, and so you stretched out a bit to let your feet slide across his thighs.  With one arm up on the back of the couch, his other hand came to rest on your ankle, and it made your breath catch slightly (though he didn’t seem to notice) before you relaxed.  Once you accepted it, it was actually kind of soothing— yeah, your heart raced for a second, but then your eyes kept getting heavier as you tried to blink them open to look at the glowing screen.

Sleep overtook you quickly, like a weight that sunk into you and just kept pulling you down.  You didn’t have any more dreams that night.

After you’d dozed off, Eddie’s gaze lingered on your still face for a moment; he smiled to himself, looking down at his hand on your ankle.  Gently, he stroked your skin with his thumb, checking your face again to make sure it wouldn’t wake you up.

He turned down the volume on the TV two more clicks, focusing on the scene before him again— something about Laurie having a date coming over to pick her up.  Mrs. Partridge greeted him at the door, before he joined Keith on the couch.

“Boy, glad that’s over,” the date sighed as Mrs. Partridge went upstairs to fetch Laurie.  

“What?” Keith asked him.

“Meeting the mother,” he answered.  “But your mother’s pretty cool… yeah, they usually give you the third-degree— you know, ‘where are you taking her’, ‘what time are you gonna bring her home’...”

“Ah, I know what you mean,” Keith agreed, not looking up from whatever he was reading— Eddie obviously hadn’t been paying enough attention to keep track of that.  “Where are you taking her?”

“Huh?” 

Keith shut his book and narrowed his eyes.  “What time are you gonna bring her home?”

“Early, after the movie,” the date replied defensively.

Keith scooted closer to the other young man.  “You, um, taking her to a walk-in or a drive-in?”

“A drive-in,” he answered.  Keith immediately began shaking his head.  “A walk-in?” the other offered instead, and Keith nodded approvingly.

“As long as it’s rated for the general public,” Keith added.

Eddie looked at you again, watching the blanket swell and sink each time you took a slow, deep breath.  He thought about getting up and going back to the bunk bed to sleep, but he was too afraid to wake you up if he tried to move your feet away.  Yeah, that was definitely the only reason that he wouldn’t get up now, now that he had you so close and you weren’t awake to try to push him away or tell him to fuck off.  Not that he didn’t enjoy that a bit… he just liked this more.  So, he’d stay for now and hold onto your ankle until you woke up and told him to stop.  Just because he could.

[dear-ao3]

could you explain the mclaren reputation era please I missed it

ok well i don't really understand it entirely so bear with me here as i fumble through this.

essentially yesterday mclaren archived (deleted?) every single one of their instagram posts (and there were Thousands) except for this kind of twist trap esque video of lando, oscar and their car with the tagline "whatever it takes" like the imagine dragons song, or perhaps a 15 year old boy posting selfies of himself in the gym.

this of course is exactly what taylor swift did however many years ago right before she dropped her reputation album, archived every single one of her instagram posts except for these three videos of a snake slithering around and i don't remember what the words were associated with it but it was foreshadowing her reputation album. this was the album that she released directly after she got a whole lot of shit for her 1989 tour, took basically 2 years off and came back with some s tier bangers about how basically she didnt really care what the media thought of her, but she was reinventing herself (remember the "im sorry, the old taylor can't come to the phone right now, why? oh! cause she's dead!" meme" but essentially, it was her comeback after awhile away.

mclaren, as we know, has not won a championship since 2008 with sir lewis hamilton. their driver line up, lando norris and oscar piastri, is the youngest pairing of drivers on the grid (lando is 24, oscar is 22) and while the 2023 season for them started off absolutely terribly (their car fucking sucked) they were able to do some major upgrades throughout the season and turned it around by the silverstone race (just under halfway through the year). from silverstone on (13 races total) mclaren finished in the top 3 nine times (with both oscar and lando on the podium at the qatar and japan races) and were consistently in the points. oscar also won the sprint race in qatar. and lando had i think 17 overtakes at the mexico race, starting 19 and ending 5th. which is kind of incredible. in a season of absolute red bull domination (lets remember that a red bull driver won ever race except for the singapore race, which carlos won with the help of lando) they were consistently challenging them and there was one time in texas (i think?) where lando almost was able to overtake max.

so yes, red bull is definitely the favored team at the moment and is coming off of quite possibly the best season they've ever had. however. mclaren have some distinct advantages going into the 2024 season:

they do not have to worry about silly season. as we know, 14 drivers have contracts ending at the end of 2024 which means the absolute mad rush to resign and offer contracts across basically every team. redbull is basically guaranteed to not resign checo and might even swap him for daniel ricciardo halfway through the season whereas lands contract with mclaren ends in 2025 and oscars ends in 2026. mclaren can spend all of their time worrying about the car and the drivers rather than who they are signing.

oscar piastri. oscar just finished his rookie season (and previously won the f2 and f3 championships and won rookie of the year this year). in terms of rookie years he had an outstanding one. people compared him to lewis hamilton's rookie year. as a refresher, lewis hamiltons rookie year was in 2007 (also at mclaren) and he won his first championship in 2008. oscar is the first rookie since lewis hamilton to get multiple podiums and win something in his rookie year. expectations are running high here.

lando norris's expiring contract. as we know lando has one more confirmed year with mclaren. cel of mclaren zak brown has announced that they want to extend landos contract with mclaren, but, hes starting to get really really good, which means that a top team like red bull or mercedes might also try to get him as a driver. this is the year for mclaren to prove to lando that they can give him what he wants (which is to win a race. in his 5 years of formula 1 he hasn't won anything. and once he starts winning then hes going to want to win a championship. but. there is max verstappen to contend with). so their absolute balls to the wall tactic could work pretty well for them here. pre season testing doesnt start for over another month and they are already clearly locked in to the 2024 season.

lando and oscar actually get along. sure, formula 1 is an individual sport, but there is the drivers championship (for the individual driver) and the constructors championship (for the team with the most points). so they do have to work together. drivers not working together in the past has led to some ... undesirable results for teams (the great brocedes civil war of nico rosberg and lewis hamilton that ultimately resulted in nico retiring after he won his first championship, whatever the hell was going with max and daniel for part of the 2018 season, the french civil war at alpine between pierre gasley and esteban ocon) they are also both very consistent drivers. neither are incredibly crash prone and seem quite willing to work together on the track to optimize results.

yes they do also have disadvantages. lando has never won a race, they only have one pole position between them (lando in russia in 2021) and they're not a red bull. clearly they're the underdog in the situation. but they did finish fourth in the constructors championship in 2023 ("best of the rest") (and after basically getting next to no points for the first several races on account of the fact that their car was shit) behind ferrari, mercedes, and red bull. they're coming for the top 3 and honestly it could be their season to lose.

if ferrari doesnt change their strategy approach then they could be out of a shot at top 3. also ferrari have to deal with the nightmare of resigning both of their drivers (or finding new ones). merc and red bull will both be giving it their all (lewis hamilton really really wants to win his 8th world championship before he retires and max is well. max.) but if mclaren has a competitive car from the start of the season and doesnt have to play catch up for the first several races, then they could easily finish in the top 3.

also they released their livery today? which really confuses me (is that different than the car unveiling? what is going on someone mansplain it to me please)

[annathesillyfriend]

Hey there! I hope summer is treating you well 🌞I am currently crying over the fact that I didnt get to see Lizzo at a festival 30 km away from me last week and that I won't see Harry tomorrow in Warsaw, so I decided to distract myself with making this list 😅 I hope that next time I'll be able to tell you that I menaged to get Taylor tickets, so please keep your fingers crossed for me 🥰

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!

To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.

Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!

🌊JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN🌊

it's what you make it and and honey, i'll make it all okay by @seresinhangmanjake

↳ two-shot, part of oh, baby universe which is an amazing dad!jake series and you should totally give it a try

you're safe now and bite me by @seresinsweetie

↳ two-shot, 18+, enemies to friends to lovers, i want a weighted blanket for my birthday this year and by weighted blanket i mean jake seresin on top of me, please and thank you

crossing all the lines by @//seresinsweetie

↳ one-shot, 18+, not it's time for a rooster x hangman x reader threesome and it's as hot as it sounds 🥵

hungman by @ddejavvu

↳ one-shot, 18+, roommate!camboy!jake, do i have to say more? whenever i see Daisy's url on my dash, i drop everything i'm doing and go read, such a talented writer!

a love you don't find everyday by @//beccaanne814

↳ series, this story has kept me on my toes and then surprised me in the best way possible, amazing fic 💕

head on your chest, heart in your hands by @jupitercomet

↳ one-shot, soft!jake has a special place in my heart

same 'ol situation by @topguncortez

↳ one-shot, 18+, roommate!jake and it's so good!!

🌊BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW🌊

how could i forget by @roosterforme

↳ one-shot, I put this particular fic here because it was the first one I read in June but I recommend going through Emily's whole masterlist. I could go on and on about how talented she is 👏I start every single one of my days by reading one of her works. Like literally every day. Thank you for making my morning more bearable 💕

give me your hand and here is my heart by @sometimesanalice

↳ two-shot, 18+, this is a part of a bigger universe that I love with my whole being. please, do yourself a favour and go read it all!

hey, salior by @//sometimesanalice

↳ one-shot, 18+, i am YELLING

warm blood by @notroosterbradshaw

↳ one-shot, another phenomenal fic from another phenomenal author 👏👏 keep slaying!

home and viva la vegas by @honeysimagines

↳ two-shot, i read this like four times in the last month, my love for those fics is out of control

i'll guide you by @bradshawsbitch

↳ one-shot, 18+, i get dizzy and warm all over just by thinkign about this fic 👀

you left your name on my lips by @blurredcolour

↳ one-shot, beautiful fic!

love and loss by @bradshawsbaby

↳ one-shot, what a stunning piece. we all need this kind of support in our lives

if i knew it all then, would i do it again? by @ofstoriesandstardust

↳ one-shot, part of the same mistakes-verse which is a god tier series. this one left me speechless

i was supposed to sweat you out by @theharddeck

↳ one-shot, 18+, friends with benefits, simply delicious 👏👏

i think i love you by @thewulf

↳ one-shot, best friends to lovers, i loved this so very much

where do we go? by @thatlovinfeelin

↳ series, 18+, amazing fic, beautiful story!

salt air, and the rust on your door by @daniellarussoo

↳ one-shot, just a sweet little husband!bradly fic 😌

to love and be loved by @callsigncherub

↳ one-shot, i seriously debated jumping into the sea after reading this one

all consuming by @inklore

↳ one-shot, 18+, Lauren's back at it again with a bloody banger

🌊JAVY 'COYOTE' MACHADO🌊

a little bit of fun and it's not rotten work (not if it's you) by @sushiwriterhere

↳ two-shot, 18+, javy x reader x jake fics, this is just great, i love everything about those stories

the double negative effect by @beyondthesefourwalls

↳ one-shot, there are not enough javy fics out there so i cherish every single one i find, especially ones as good as this one!

training accident by @//foreverrandomwritings

↳ one-shot, another great javy story!

🌊ROBERT 'BOB' FLOYD🌊

supernova by @laracrofted

↳ one-shot, 18+, bob x reader x pheonix threesome, a dream come true 😫

the worst date by @lovingperfectionsblog

↳ one-shot, love this one 💕

the wingman by @//roosterforme

↳ one-shot, 18+, okay we all aready know how much i adore Emily's work but i just had to put this one here cause bob needs all the love he can get!!

shut up and dance with me by @beccaanne814

↳ one-shot, man, the things i'd so for him to dance with me

sick day by @writingdumpster

↳ one-shot, bob's a little bit stuborn here but we're gonna let it slip just this once

girl in a coffee shop by @ohgodnotagainn

↳ one-shot, coffee shop!au, bob as a barista!!!! yes yes yes that all i need in life

🌊MICKEY ' FANBOY' GARCIA🌊

opposites attract by @foreverrandomwritings

↳ one-shot, husband!mickey and he's just so 🥺🥺

🌊STEVE HARRINGTON🌊

all the time by @bookshelf-dust

↳ one-shot, friends to lovers and fake dating -> ✨cheff's kiss✨

cardigan by @supernovafics

↳ one-shot, professor!steve x professor!reader, angst with happy ending, great work 👏

car kisses by @iridescentprose

↳ one-shot, there is just something so kissable about steve driving a car. i would, too, risk my life to pour some love on that man

this fic by @spicysix

↳ one-shot, being stuck in an elevator may not be an ideal situation but it's whole other thing when steve harrington is there with you

steve-o by @bettysupremacy

↳ one-shot, i just adore this steve

midnight love by @loveshotzz

↳ one-shot, 18+, fuck boy!steve but we fall for him anyway

this fic by @lovebugism

↳ one-shot, 18+, SO DAMN BLOODY GOOD i can't even

this fic by @forever-rogue

↳ one-shot, broke my heart and put it right back together

bad for ussiness by @upsidedownwithsteve

↳ series, 18+, enemies to lovers is the superior trope and this fic is the perfect example, my favourite steve fic honestly

a good dream by @solarluvs

↳ one-shot, 18+, the fact that this will never happen to me in real life is just criminal

keep trying by @lilacletter

↳ one-shot, 18+, an obligatory baby making fic™, they just hit different

cool about it by @mysticmunson

↳ one-shot, if you feel like getting your heart broken, that's a fic for you :')

this love by @forevermoreharrington

↳ one-shot, 18+, a masterpiece really

🌊EDDIE MUNSON🌊

brain like a sieve by @munsster

↳ one-shot, AHHHHHHHHHH is all i have to say on this 😅

sunscreen and chlorine and blue raspberry syrup by @eiightysixbaby

↳ two-shot, 18+, lifeguard!eddie, perfect summer read, just like ice cream on a hot day 🙌

something like this by @taintedcigs

↳ one-shot, a good old truth or dare fic, just what we all love

love me tender by @oneforthemunny

↳ one-shot, 18+, janitor!eddie x teacher!reader, what a stunning piece of work that is 🥺

hot rod by @shamevillain

↳ one-shot, 18+, you will need a shower after reading this 🥵

🌊RHETT ABBOTT🌊

right where i want you by @//sushiwriterhere

↳ one-shot, 18+, sort of enemies to lovers, i am so normal about this 🙂

hell on heels (part 2) by @strawhbrrries

↳ two-shot, 18+, that bloody cowboy will send us all straight to hell

wildflower, widefire by @sebsxphia

↳ series, 18+, the perfect balance between sweet and sexy 😌😌

the ferris wheel by @lewmagoo

↳ one-shot, i just wanna share funnel cake with rhett abbott, is that too much to ask???

invisible string by @wkndwlff

↳ one-shot, 18+, BEAUTIFUL 😭😭

[eupheme]

— Work Song

Dave York x Wife!Reader

Rated M - 600 words

Prompt: Work Song + Dave York

Tags: Dave POV, divergent timeline, fix-it au, who’s carol?? (aka wife!reader), references to sex, canon-typical violence, blood and death, implied happy ending

A/N: my contribution to the Hozier Drabble Challenge by @wannab-urs! Dave is new to me in every way so thank you so much @morallyinept for this banger post & I hope this isn’t too far off the mark

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

In all his years as an operative, and then the ones that followed - Dave’s life had never flashed before his eyes.

Instead there was always the bone-deep ache of fresh wounds. Split flesh and the sharp spike of adrenaline - his senses firing too quickly for his mind to process, hurtling him into pure instinct.

Surviving by the teeth of his skin.

But he knows - if he had that luxury - what he would think of.

It would be of you.

You weren’t supposed to matter. Just another checkbox in his life, a means of distraction.

Job. Married. Kids.

He’s still working on that last part. Never one to leave a job half-done.

But here, at the end of all things, it’s all Dave can think about. Rewinding back over the years.

Nights spent in - a darkened room, the television hilighting the art that lines your walls. Takeout cartons tipped over on the table. The movie long forgotten, your thighs wrapped firmly around his waist as you sobbed his name.

It was enough until it wasn’t.

Until he became possessive. That small measure of stability in a life that had suddenly tilted sideways.

There’s a flash of white, yards of chiffon and lace. An ache of hunger, so wrapped up in each in each other that you completely missed the hors d’oeuvres.

His mother had said they were good.

He would have to take her word for it.

The oaken walls of the cabin close around him, now. The white of your dress turning into a blanket of snow. His one hidden place, the few times he could try to turn his brain off.

It never worked.

But out there, he didn’t find himself looking over his shoulder as often. Too set on the needy rock of your hips. The splash of water over the edge of the oversized tub, soaking into forgotten towels.

His fingers leaving marks, so different than the kind he’s used to. Your sweetness a honey that coated his thorns, dulling them within these walls.

The sunlight streaming in from above narrows to a single bulb, hanging in the kitchen. You always left it on when he was gone. Beckoning him home, a beacon in the storms.

Dave thinks about how the light will stay on now, until it finally burns out.

He shouldn’t care this much. His partners know him better than you do, even the one that took Dave’s knife between his ribs.

McCall’s face hovers now - that pinch between his eyebrows. The hoarse cry as Dave had twisted the knife, angling it deep. His vision narrowed down to one eye, dead set on ensuring mutual destruction. His own side oozing and aching by his own blade, forgotten in the struggle.

A sharp throb at the back of his head, gritted teeth and full of hate. Watching as the light started to dim in his ex-partner’s eyes.

Before the whipping winds of the watchtower followed him down - one last surge of strength, as he was kicked over. The rain above falling to join the ocean below.

It’s here that his lungs begin to burn - his eye opening to see the reflecting glint of the sun above, that heavy layer of clouds parting.

Limbs finally moving, propelling him to the surface. Heart pounding with a pulse that echos with an ache near his temples.

By all rights, he shouldn’t be alive. A near-miss of McCall’s blade. The rocks on the shore as he raced to meet them.

And maybe - maybe, it’s the blood loss. Maybe it’s the cold shock of the ocean. Of knocking on death’s door, only for it not to answer.

But it’s still you, as his legs kick. The thought that although you don’t know him - maybe it’s a sign that he could be the man that you think he is.

It lingers, as he’s left retching on the shores of the beach.

Sucking in air, as he’s given one more chance.

Perhaps McCall had been onto something. Because after all, he’s a dead man - right?

Maybe now he can finally go home.

[psalmsofpsychosis]

"#Batman resists his own insanity so it spreads to e v e r y t h i n g around him"

You can't just say this and not elaborate in great detail. PLEASE elaborate oh my God. I do agree but I want to hear every single thought you have about this topic.

Btw, I'm the same Anon who asked -- or not really asked but more so talked -- about Batman and Joker's soulmate sort of bond.

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH "COMBINING JOKER'S HEAD WITH BATMAN'S BODY"???????

I was thinking along the lines of the concept version and how they could never be satisfied like this, united in one body. What is the result of mixing chaos and order? What is the result of mixing the act of forgetting the past and fixating on it? What do you get through combining the ideology of making everything matter and taking all meaning away?

The result is that the pure concepts become stained and dull, pushed away from their original function, losing their purpose to oppose each other.

Becoming one entity is the act of becoming complete (concepts being stained) and losing the thing that made them them. Batman and Joker were never meant to unite in this way with overlapping voices, finishing each others thoughts and sentences and it SHOWS. I'm in love with their grotesque obsession with each other that borders on love and punishment. Their desire to win and conquer the other for good but never being able to because losing one side takes away the purpose of the other.

That's why I'm so, so, SO disappointed with how the Batman Who Laughs turned out. Where are my identity crises? Plural, because this could never be an one-and-done kind of deal. They became OneTM, inentionally or not, but BeforeTM, they were always wondering what it would be like. Batman could try to get closer to Joker's mental state but never fully experience it, same with Joker. But now they are OneTM and then what? Batman is just the Joker with Bruce's memories and face. I can't begin to describe how boring that is. That's like if DC made a "Deadpool kills the Marvel Universe" story only they used Joker instead of Deadpool.

Do you see my vision? Can you feel my pain? I wanted to psychoanalyse that asshole with my amateurish psychology knowledge but they only gave us a watered down Joker who makes other Batmen less interesting upon contact. WHERE ARE THE IDENTITY CRISES?? WHERE IS THE DIFFICULTY IN MAKING A DECISION?? WHERE ARE THE LENGTHY MONOLOGUES ARGUING BACK AND FORTH OR CONTRADICTING EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME??? The Batman Who Laughs is basically Two Face but without the wall seperating Harvey and Two Face. Joker!Batman should be unable to do anything or constantly switch between Bruce and Joker or save one life and then turn around and kill it. Like, where is the complexity? Why the hell is that guy only a murder machine?? That was neither Joker nor Batman's whole purpose??

Tell me all your thoughts, my friend, while I'm here spinning in circles and going insane. I'll never get out of this alive, you'll still find me ruminating on this on my deathbed.

I swear, if you give an absolute banger of an answer again, I'll come and start living in your walls.

Have a nice day!! :)

ANON LOVE OF MY LIFE, i'm shoveling all the insides of my walls out as we speak, you can move in by Wednesday morning—

Like, the way i felt every single word you said in my bones. You are so right, and there are a couple different points here and it's gonna get longer than usual so i'll separate each thought thread to avoid drowning in lé brain soup.

• Re: batman resisting his own insanity, i feel like i have simultaneously talked about this in 7986 different ways and haven't said anything about it at all 😂 possibly most of it has been discord ramblings. Long story short, the spine of his narrative to me is that he actively resists his own humanity and in extension of it, his evil. He wants to be good. But there's also immense psychological/emotional/physical price we pay whenever we make these kind of choices; whatever we disown and banish to our subconscious, we project out into the world and unto the people around us. The load you refuse to carry will be carried by the people around you, because at the end of the day /someone/ has to carry it, it doesn't just disappear into ether. So, in a way, for Batman to remain good, to remain a hero, someone else has to be bad. The extent in which Batman keeps his goodness "pure and untainted" dictates the horrors created around him— and particularly the creation of Joker. I say creation because the existence of Batman as a concept absolutely necessitates the existence of Joker. In a way Batman does create him, and it's true that with Batman gone Joker and half the evil in Gotham would be gone too, not because Batman is an evil presence— but precisely because he disowns his own evil.

And the thing is, in the specific context of Joker, it has become this almost loving, adoring symbiotic relationship; Joker has willingly shaped himself to fit the outline of an evil that Batman needs to defeat, he has become the sin that Batman can overcome so he can stay a saint. I actually have a draft on this that i never finished, a meta about how all the coloring choices in Joker's design eerily resemble the different color stages of a wound and the bruising after, how Batman almost feels like Jesus with Joker as his side wound, Joker being the price he pays and the pain he goes through for his martyrdom in order to stay pure, for his idealogy to have any form of meaning and significance, Joker being his very own holy suffering.

We fundamentally understand reality in form of contrasts, internal ones, external ones. As you very well pointed out, without an innate sense of contrast, we cease to have any form of coherent grasp on different concepts, and they start to sort of become noise, they become nothing. Would you truly understand what a day was and grasp it as a concept if it wasn't followed by a night? So like, what i'm saying is, people around Bruce/Batman become what he needs because they love him and they want to help him keep his narrative, the structure of his psyche intact. They help him stay 'him' by taking on the burden of what he doesn't want to be, he subconsciously shapes them in the image of what he needs to uphold his identity as a good person. This is why Alfred becomes Joker to save him, this is why Selina is the more socially acceptable pretty Joker that Bruce can actually marry and bring to his family, this is why Joker and Batman feel like they can never escape their narrative, their roles and their performance. It's the reason the moment Batman lurches to kill The Riddler in "the war of jokes and riddles", Joker stops his knife with his hand. It's their defined roles, and the greatest act of love that noone except Joker would show him. Joker says "I'm the sacrifice. I'm the evil, i'm the one who kills, i have made this choice so you can make yours. You're the good one. If you become evil, it renders both your efforts and my sacrifice meaningless, and i can not allow that to happen." And it's a truly fascinating dynamic really, for all that Joker has and hasn't done throughout the Batmanverse history, when it comes to Batman he's irredeemably selfless. Everything he does regarding Batman is to keep Batman's sense of goodness and heroism intact, and in this context he's more pure than him. Everyone around Batman wants him to kill, perhaps rightfully so, they mean well. But Joker says "i'll bear all the unbearable evil so you dont have to, and we both acutely understand that without my existence you mean nothing. I will be the monster so you dont have to." And honest to god there's a heartbreaking affection to this, something noone else will ever be willing or want to offer to Bruce, not to this extent.

in 'the war of jokes and riddles' Bruce tells Selina that "what separates him from utter evil is a hand on his knife. Joker's hand." like bro, he knows. In a deeply twisted and gutwrenching way Bruce knows that noone loves him the way Joker does.

• Re: combining Joker and Batman's heads and bodies, i was thinking.... two concepts maybe?? 👀 one is more like the Dullahan myth, in which Batman loses his head but he isn't carrying it, Joker steals it. And then Joker loses his head and Batman has to keep it and he's forced to use it. It'd be an insanely fun concept; the Dullahan myth can be interpreted as the idea of death of self by supposedly losing all that would make you human; your thoughts and memories and logic, etc. Except that you still have a heart, and a body, and they're not exactly cooperative. It'd be fun to have Joker's mind trying to tame Batman's heart and body, each fighting and singing their own song, same for Batman. A version of the myth has Dullahan carrying a human spine in one hand, and i mean, the possibilities are endless!

But also another concept would be: two frankenstein monsters lmaooo, same sense of discordent internal landscape, same sense of ideological tension and conflict, but also someone's gotta [tw mentions of gore] chop chop them and sew their body parts together, and that can be another interesting element added to their fucked up dynamic ✨️ it can also be Joker as Dr Frankensten and he sews parts of himself to Batman in order to save him!

• Re: Batman Who Laughs, oh girl (gn), i have nothing to add that you haven't already said more beautifully than me. There's so much emotional nuance and complex philosophy that could've gone into that concept, it's certainly one of the hardest Batman story variations to pull off, and weirdly enough, the people who dont directly aim for "Batman becomes Joker/Joker becomes Batman" stories often tell a better more intricate tale about that transformation than the people who straight up shoot for the concept. One of the things that always sends a chill down my spine is the ending of Batman: Europa, in which Joker is terrified and screaming as Batman laughs and lurches for him; that's the dynamic, that's the Batman who laughs, and the most unsettling part of it is that, Batman doesn't change. He doesn't have to. On a core level he is quite frankly a bit fucked up, it's not a stretch for Batman to be evil, and that's why his goodness is meaningful. Cue Nietsche's quote, "Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws." Batman is not a good guy entirely, and that makes his goodness a conscious choice with so much weight and worth and significance. I dont think a lot of DC people understand this.

With Batman Who Laughs, the name kinda sums up the take unfortunately; it's a superficial interpretation that falls flat on its own face because the writers couldn't be assed to explore how a chemical combination of Batman and Joker's narrative would unfold. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as with any potent chemical reaction, the mixture is highly unstable and unpredictable, and that's the fucking fun of it. There's gotta be tension. I do think Batman and Joker can very well mix, i do think they can make a seamless fusion, but i dont trust any canon DC writers to handle the characterization well in a way that doesn't bore you out of your fucking mind. You gotta make a new person and you gotta capitalise on the core components both Batman and Joker share; their incessant sense of idealism, their need for purity, their volatile emotions and their aggression, their need to individuate from their context and deviate from the norm, take the third way out narrative wise, their philosophical and intellectual bend, their immense grief, their need to be oh so special and different 😂 they actually have a whole lot in common, this is why they're perfect enemies!

But yeah, writing that personality fusion is very hard because it's such an emotionally complex context and most DC writers have not felt a single emotion in the past 35 years aflhdtdhlf

Anyway yep i love your brain so SO much Anon, hope you have a wonderful day ❤️💕 and dont forget to tell me what ya think!!

[cerastes]

Arknights God, how do I use Reed the Flame Shadow? I got her and I've leveled her but I think I'm missing something, because it doesn't seem like I'm doing the damage she's supposed to be doing.

So step one is that we need to stop with the Arknights God thing because I'm flattered that you and others have a high opinion of my gameplay advice but it also makes me look like a narcissistic jackass. I appreciate the compliment and I'm happy my advice helps, but to everyone not familiar with the whole "I like to play a heel clown character on my blog for funsies with my friends" will think I'm actually addicted to the scent of my flatulence and the rhythm of my own words. It makes answering these a tad awkward.

Step two is understanding that Reed' skill selection, and which skill is the correct answer to any given issue, has a lot of factors going for it, more than the majority of Operators. If you use Cantabile, for example, you know that both of her skills are bangers, and while they have their respective jobs, they are not hard-slotted into these. Reed's S2 and S3 are similar in this regard. You'll be ignoring S1.

Before we get into that, though, here's some fundamentals about the Flame Shadow: You position them differently from other Medics and most other units. A good Reed tile is one where she has both enemies and allies in her range, so, if you placing her at a front, you'll want her to be a bit behind, but not fully behind, your line of engagement. She needs to be able to attack in order to heal, and her allies need to be in her range in order to get healed. This may sound obvious, but it needs to be taken into account. She's not a Marksman or a Medic, she's her own beast. Another thing that needs to be taken into account is that her healing comes specifically from dealing HP damage to enemies, not barriers. Greytails and the Rat King, for example, have shields that must be broken with Arts damage before exposing the succulent flesh within, right? Well, until the shield breaks, Reed is not giving anyone any succor and they might in fact just explode because while she's dealing damage to their shields, it doesn't count as valid damage for her healing. Keep this in mind so you don't run out of sustain while fighting shielded enemies, since shielded enemies tend to also have high attack. The Final Reed Essential regards her Cinders (AKA Firebrand), which she always has a chance to apply with her attacks and skills (with S3 guaranteeing it): The way it works is that, if an attack would apply Cinder, it applies it before the attack resolves, meaning, the Arts Fragility will be in effect and that attack will already be dealing 30%(32% with Potentials) extra damage off rip. Or, in other words, you don't have to apply Cinder and then start capitalizing on it on the next attack. Arts Fragility, by the way, stacks multiplicatively with Fragile, and they count as different debuffs, despite the similarity in name.

You made it past the tutorial, now let's tackle 1-1:

S2, or as Harvard scholars call it, the Spitroast, is a damn strong skill. For the purposes of this post, I'll be using the M3 versions of the skills. Spitroast grants two allies, with Melee tile priority, 3 fireballs that'll deal 240% of Reed's Attack as damage to enemies they touch every 1.5 seconds, with this 1.5 second timer applying only for each unique target. The fireballs do in fact have a hitbox, so if there's enemies on either side of the fireball unit, you'll trigger two fireballs at once, one for the enemy on one side, and another for the other. Each fireball then takes 1.5 seconds to refresh (they'll look darkened around the Operator) and once they are a vibrant orange again, it means they are ready to explode again. Each time these fireballs deal damage, they'll heal their Operators as per Reed's trait (so 120% of her Attack), and each fireball has a chance to inflict Cinder as per any of Reed's attacks. You can test this yourself by putting fireballs on Operators so they hit enemies outside her attack range, and you'll see that they do in fact also have a chance to inflict Cinder. Be mindful that the fireball's instance of damage counts as a Reed instance of damage! This means that for the purposes of Counter effects, it is Reed that's the source of the damage, so for Spike Chests, Reed WILL receive the reflected damage, and for The Last Knight, Reed WILL freeze if the fireballs hit him, etc etc. The lane-holding application of this skill is that you can grant your cornerstone immense Arts damage and healing independent of everything else they have going for themselves, including through Status effects like Freeze or Stun, as the fireballs are independent entities separate from the Operator. So if Mudrock gets stunned by Nervous Impairment and has sweet dreams of beautiful rocks that go on adventures with her, she's not completely helpless, as the fireballs will keep shredding enemies while she's in dreamland. This actually leads us to the next point: Fireballs cannot be placed on Summons, so if you had dreams of making the sickest Stainless turret surrounded by industrial flames or picturesque mindblasts about Ling's Great Thunderer's surrounded by godly plumes of cleansing conflagration, well, stop being silly and come back to reality, also rent and student debts are due. Fireballs can be placed on 'Enmity' Operators, such as Musha (ie. Akafuyu) and Juggernauts (ie. Mudrock), but they won't receive the healing from each of their hits, as the healing is mechanically counted as direct healing, thus, they may not benefit from it. Well, at least they can always take a whiff of Lena's wonderful fragrances instead. With all this in mind, we get to the Spitroast part of the Spitroast: If you jail an enemy (sandwiching them between two Operators) and use Reed's S2 to give them her mighty balls, now that enemy is getting assblasted by both sets of balls, so a whooping 480% of Reed's attack as damage, which in turn is very likely to diagnose them with Cinder due to how many times they'll be taking Reed damage, so that final damage is now also increased by another fat 30%, in addition to being inflicted with Cinder's ATK -20%, so your engager is safer as well, on top of being healed a lot. So, in practice, let's say your trusted Specter the Unchained is currently blocking Yamcha Jesselton, and as they are engaged in mortal combat, you then deploy Skadi S2 on top of Jesselton as well. But this is all within Reed's range, so you use her S2 and now the shark and the orca also have fireballs around them that further obliterate Jesselton, and he can't even damage Specter in a way that matters because 1) she leveled HP and 2) she's getting an absolutely unholy amount of healing from Reed's hot balls, so, in short, he'll never have another birthday. This MELTS bosses, but obviously, it's a rather expensive endeavor, necessitating 3 deployment slots dedicated to the bit. But no one said being funny was cheap, and end of the day, it's funny seeing bosses melting down to nothing under what's practically two fire buzzsaws.

Ideal Operators for these strats involve your prim and proper engager, someone tough that can take a hit and also hit hard, like either Specter or Skadi S3, but you can also make this engager a dedicated tough slab of meat like Hoshiguma, and your drop-in assassin with huge damage, like Texas the Omertosa, Surtr S3 (two girls that will appreciate the Arts Fragility Reed can inflict!), Skadi S2, Nearl the Radiant Knight S2, et al. 'Enmity' Operators work as well but you'll not be received the healing, just keep that in mind, but they work splendid as well. Once again, Arts Fragility stacks multiplicatively with Fragile, so break out the ol' Suzuran S3 or, if the boss can be Frozen, Gnosis S3 for some more immensely violent peacekeeping.

That was a lot, but trust me, it becomes second nature once you see it in action once, it just clicks and now you know exactly how to roast that spit.

Woah, look at all the progress we made, it's time to start 8-12:

So, S3, the big flashy and fun explosions that scream "I'm a healer, but," in big red flaming text. This skill does a fair amount of things, actually! First of all, Reed will have multitarget attacks, two per attack, and her attacks during S3 will always 100% of the time inflict Cinder, so that +60% ATK buff she's getting is actually bigger than that, given that she'll always have her final damage increased by 30% Arts Fragility on top of that. What's more, Cinder's CANNOT expire for as long as the skill is active, and now have the additional effect of inflicting a Damage Over Time effect that deals 60% of Reed's Attack as Arts damage (so, again, amplified by Arts Fragility). And, of course, as we all know and love, if an enemy dies while having the Cinder's effect during the skill duration, they explode for 140% damage in a 1.7 tile radius, and enemies damaged by these explosions, you guessed it, also become inflicted with Cinder.

That's a lot going on, but it's also pretty self-explanatory once you lay it out like that. Ace detectives might have gleaned something from this river of letters: Cinder is a very strong effect. Cinder lets you deal more damage, take less damage, and receive more healing, since Reed's healing is based on damage dealt. S3 takes Cinder to the next level: Guaranteed proc, now with a DoT, and will never expire until the end of the skill. Not only that, but the multitarget makes it easier to inflict more and more enemies with Cinder, it's truly a fire gone out of control, for the enemy, anyways. S3 lends itself to mob control and killing large crowds of enemies with the power of friendship, but do not neglect its utility in engaging with troublesome elites and bosses! While S2 is her premiere boss-killing tool, it required set-up, deployment slots and tiles you might not necessarily have in high-end content, and in these situations where the boss isn't the only issue, but you also have to deal with an overall dangerous map that's threatening as a whole, S3 may just be the perfect tool to have a more balanced and yet still very potent approach.

This is what makes the Flame Shadow such a fun unit! Your skills are not really locked by circumstance, and they can be used with several different objectives and goals in mind, depending on what the rest of your team is and who your enemy or what the challenge of the map is. With her incredible adaptability and wide array of applications, Reed the Flame Shadow absolutely shines and can be a core part of any team.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

in celebration of the finale: my top 5 moments from each only friends character so far

*top moments here means moments that had me screaming at my laptop like the leo meme*

5. "i don't have to be his number 1 but he must not hate me"

this was a banger line. im not gonna super analyze it here but what a fucking sentiment to hold. especially revisiting this after episode 9 where he wants to be with boston but is hesitant to be his boyfriend (he doesnt have to love me but he cant hate me)

4. kiss him!

nick in this episode was so funny. like i was caught between the way he grabs bostons arms to lead him up the stairs and this but the way the actors voice cracks, i think about it everyday. nick being the number 1 sandrayist is so important to me actually.

3. every scene he has in this bar

like we have "then ill call you daddy". we have the "i love you for who you are". we have the picking up atom. we have the lecturing atom. (also we apparently are gettting a boeing incounter?!?!??!). just peak nick moments happening in this location

2. "im nasty too"

yes you fucking are you freak baby. i remember after the episode aired a lot of people were like "awww he thinks hes a bad boy" and i get that sentiment but also he is the wildest character imo. like he had just wiretapped bostons car, and right before that he excitedly told ton about the surveillance gear in his possession. he listened to topboston fucking in real time and watched. he'd just invited top into his home, met him face to face for the first time, and apparently catologued his look to stea.l he listens to the fucking recording in bed with his lil headphones on, also he plays it out loud to his roommate. we're introduced to this character who is a little nerdy but also goes through his clients phones and jerks off to their photots? hes in love with an asshole and likes that hes an asshole. he plots revenge on atom on behalf of boston and is central in the plan like, he is even nastier than boston but is so cute about it everyone forgets until it fucks them over. 10/10 character moment

1. wiretapping bostons car

do i condone this behaviour? hard no but this list isn't about morals. like i would be lying if i said it didn't have me screaming cause ?!?!?!? like if my freak baby couldn't get anymore freaky he at least could get more criminal I GUESS???? also ive chosen specifically him standing sadly in the rain because its like "oh poor guy had his heart broken :( look at this sad man with his satchel :(" until i realized (and this isn't said but i think its implied) hes listening to them fucking as well as watching?!?!!? i say this cause you only see those headphones come out when hes gaming or listening to that fucking audio recording. also keeping it in his phone as "that car" hilarious. also him playing it out loud for sand!?!?!?!?! crying. unreal moment i couldn't believe what was happening

[nanomooselet]

My Brother's Keeper (V)

This whole memory retrieval/assimilation scene is interesting for a number of reasons (putting aside the continuous wails of agony emitted watching it; I know I discuss it calmly, but that's because I'm a wizard I compartmentalise/modulate my tone in text. Hooray for incomplete degrees).

In the score, this bit is called "The Memory World of Knives" - these are Knives's memories, ones that he can share with Vash for whatever reason. By that token, then, it's how you can figure out which incidents Knives has direct knowledge of and involvement in.

He remembers the blood-soaked room of withered Plants, of course. Doubt he'll ever forget it. Not because of the Last Run, but because it's when Vash turned on him and their confrontation was put on pause - up until now.

Vash fleeing the SEEDs wreckage in ep 1/8 then entering the Plant room in ep 9, Knives withdrawing, then showing up at Jeneora Rock in ep 3, then finally Vash entering Knives's piano room in July at the end of ep 10, and the confrontation/manipulation/awakening/battle over 11 and 12. It's all a single argument/fight split into parts, separated by over a century.

Funny that the only thing Knives seems to truly regret about it is cutting off Vash's arm. Maybe… maybe because it's the one wound even he can't lie to himself about inflicting. I wonder, does he believe it was his one mistake? If he'd found another way, Vash wouldn't have stuck a gun in his face? Which makes him trying to "fix" it being what clues Vash in that he's being lied to some sublime irony. Vash doesn't trust a world where his brother never hurt him.

Anyway, Knives was obviously there in person to destroy Jeneora Rock, so he remembers that. Knives definitely intended Rosa's rejection to happen when he left her alive (interesting that he only uses her voice, not her appearance. This man has a problem with women) and he would have learned about Tonis's injuries from Zazie via the cage of bug-Worms.

Then comes the crashed ships and the vanishing reporters. Roberto and Meryl don't do anything but stand there looking blank, and that's because Knives doesn't have anything to do with them. He doesn't care to learn what they mean to Vash, so he doesn't bother to twist it. He goes for “oh they'd hate you if they knew about what you've done”, and as Vash's shame makes him vulnerable, he rips them out of Vash's head. That's them disposed of and he doesn't think about them again. (More fool him.)

The guilt that Knives planted in Vash is his primary weapon. Remember that it was his guilt that made Vash want to die in the wake of the Fall. Knives is using it to chip away at his will to resist; every time Vash is reminded of it, he reels and his defences weaken.

Similarly, it's why we don't see that much of Rem and nothing of her post-Tesla except her running into the fire. What we do see of her makes her look rather one-dimensionally nice, well-meaning but suspiciously secretive, and Vash food-obsessed, dorky, clingy, insecure and oblivious. Meanwhile Nai is very clever and perceptive and handsome and perfect and amazing with his super cool powers, just like Rem said. But she didn't actually mean anything to him.

It's conspicuous that he also doesn't actually talk at all about poor Tesla and tries to dismiss her significance ("she was but a grain of sand in the desert of their misdeeds" is a banger line, by the way; the English localisation is always excellent but goes off as the series draws to its climax, and it don't stop 'til the credits roll on the finale). These are the rare points you can find honesty in anything Knives says: via what he omits.

You have to keep in mind throughout this entire sequence that besides the geranium petals and Vash cuddling Rem in the fields of geraniums, Knives is in control. This is his world, and these are his memories that he's using to infiltrate and tear Vash's memories apart. It's not objective - there's no context, for one - nor is it complete. Vash's perspective is absent.

It's actually a bit surprising how rarely Vash's voice comes through in the series. From what I can tell it's mostly Knives's perspective that's assumed.

But oh yes, Knives knows all about the Punisher. He built the Eye of Michael, after all, and Dr. Conrad works for him. Rollo crying out to Vash for salvation that he never received probably came from Dr. Conrad, as well as that it was Wolfwood in the end who killed Monev.

And here we are at last. The dreadful cost and hidden purpose I mentioned all the way back in Part I comes due. Wolfwood's purpose, the poison lacing Knives's helpful gift. He's the viral shell carrying Knives's infection. Because Vash opened his heart to Wolfwood as a friend, he also opened it to Knives.

And so, from the inside, Knives begins inexorably to devour his brother alive.

Knives-the-person wearing the Punisher's face to fire Punisher-the-weapon and kill Rollo/Tonis, the child Vash couldn't save, is his most perfectly constructed and vile feat of manipulation below I did it all for you./Everything I did was for you. It has an almost perversely admirable precision.

Silly Vash. Did he think he'd made a friend in the Punisher? Brought out the goodness in him? The Punisher is a monster, a killer, a weapon and what's more, one who was always being wielded by Knives. He betrayed you; he isn't a good man and he'll never change because humanity never learns. Just like Knives told Vash all those years ago. Was it really "Wolfwood" who Vash loved, or was it only the part of him that was shaped by his real brother? (It's the former because Vash clocked him from the start and could tell Wolfwood never wanted to be the Punisher, but even if Knives wasn't gleefully monologuing he'd never hear it. I hate how much he's enjoying this.)

Everywhere you turn, Vash, and no matter far it is you run, I'll be here for you because I love you. (I won't let you get away.)

How foolish you are, little brother, to have your hopes kindled because you "saved" a monster. One only lives if another dies - and a monster would rather die. You should let it happen. It's a necessary sacrifice. It's mercy. Death is a wonderful thing. (Death is a mercy Tesla never received. And perhaps still hasn't.)

You're too weak to give it to them. That's why they'll never love you as I do. You make the false promise that is hope for salvation, and inevitably you fail to fulfil it, and they will always turn upon you in their despair. (I am the only one who will protect you.)

There is a single promise that you can always keep. Your real purpose. The reason you exist. What a weapon is for. Have mercy. I will wield you. You need not continue to suffer. Don't fight. Submit. Give yourself to me. Let go. Unleash your power.

By the way, literally every single one of the things he's using to heap blame on Vash is Knives's fucking fault and he is the worst brother ever of all time forever and ever amen. And a liar. Knives can never forgive humanity, he says, because only he loves Vash enough to protect him from humanity. Even a human's love, he says, is a leash; contingent upon Vash's charm and usefulness and indistinguishable from hatred...

Knives either lives on opposite planet or he's secretly human.

And still. And yet.

I pity him.

(Okay. We're in the home stretch now, guys - and believe me, I deeply appreciate your support - but you might want to brace yourself.)

(Part I)

(Part II)

(Part III)

(Part IV)

(Part VI)

(Part VII)

[voidwashere]

after careful consideration, here is my official npmd song ranking + commentary

(VERY subject to change bc i actually love them all and i am so indecisive)

1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

title song at first woah !! will branner and jon mattesons vocals are literally insane is this song. "IIIIIIM NOT A LOSER" forever engraved into my brain.

2. Hatchet Town

SUCH A BANGER. everything about this song is the perfect group number. it just flows soooo well and the harmony is so crisp. the bridge bit is not my fav but all the vocals and everything is just so good. also im a sucker for "all the characters are blaming eachother" songs 😵😵

3. Cool as I Think I Am (Reprise)

they are so sad and in love i love them sm. the harmony is so scrumptious and their voices blend so well. also i just love reprises. "You're not as cool as you think you are" "But you're as smart as I know you are" SHUT UP THEY ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME

4. Literal Monster

Apex Predator but better.

(no but fr didn't expect my ranking for this to be so high but it's just so good. highlights all the nerd characters and such a good chorus. the end section with max's "You wont defeat my kiiiiiind, A predator of my siiiiiize" + "You can watch as I riiiiiiise, I WILL CLAIM WHAT IS MINE" i think is what pushed this up so far those lines are just SO good)

5. The Summoning

mmmm everything about this song just sounds so yummy. the actual summoning bit in the beginning is actually so good with the singing over the chanting and whispering. all the lords in black literally ATE with this song and the like background ensemble vocals add so much. i think the only reason this wasn't higher than literal monster is that for some reason i literally CANT when a song has large chunks of dialogue in the middle of it. pokey being called a nasty boy stops me in my tracks every time i listen 💀. but the overall song absolutely makes up for the dialogue for me !!

6. Dirty Dudes Must Die

all the pervs literally running: 🏃🏃🏃

i mean i said i loved a reprise (kinda) ! angela girratana is just so good guys i love her sm. her voice is just so specific and it works SO well for this song. not only that but the last 30 secs of this song is just SO good. the ensemble bit with the "if i can finally be cool i will know that i'm not a loser" under grace’s "who will pray for you-" AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT COMING IN WITH THE "Darkness will spare my soulllll." i actually audibly gasped when watching this for the first time.

7. Cool as I Think I Am

everything about this song is just so endearing. joey richter just embodied this role so well. the little "Oh-woah-oh-woah-oh oh" love it sm. again another one of the bangers with the last little bit of soloist singing over the ensemble line, so good.

8. Bully the Bully

HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT OKAY. I LOVE THIS SONG. LIKE I LOVE IT. ITS SO CATCHY. ITS SILLY. THE HARMONIES ARE SO GOOD. I LOVE THE FIVE OF THEM SO MUCH. BUT. i physically cringe any time the "cool beans" bit happens. "bean school? excellent!" i cant. please. 😭😭

no but overall it's so catchy and without that little bit i think it would've been up at like 5 or 6. everyone has their little part and it's such a good song. also kinda a jumpscare when they talk about cutting off his nips and him shitting his pants but yk whatever

9. High School Is Killing Me

THIS IS HOW YOU DO A OPENING NUMBER. hopping right in with the "IM DEEEEEAD" its just so good. everyones voices just blend so well in this song and the chorus is SO PERFECT. again, the whole dialogue thing is not it for me. plus the whole problematic puppy twitter feed bit was not my fav. i think if it was just the first minute and a half of this song it would've been higher than cool as i think i am.

10. Dirty Girl

ok. where tf do i start. the vocals for this song are INCREDIBLE and angela and will's voices both have this like powerful belt with a little grit that complement each other SO well. and omg the "I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm a good girl" its just so perfect. BUT. listening this song is just like so uncomfortable 💀💀. after i hear "daddy needs a little of that dirty soup" i cannot move throughout my day normally please stop.

11. Just for Once

i actually feel so bad for putting this song so low because lauren lopez's vocals are SO incredible. its just not as catchy as the top ten and ruth's voice is a little too nasaly for me. this song would actually be a really good audition song methinks

12. Bury the Bully

ik some people really love this song and ik i just said i love the reprises (and upon first listen this song was like top 6.) but ! idk after obsessively relistening its just not up there for me. theres nothing bad about the song but in the words of pete "This is a lot." also when grace says "GIVE THOSE TO ME" at the very end of the song WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE REFERRING TO???

13. If I Loved You

I love this song it's so good it just doesn't compare to the reprise. mariah rose faith casillas actually ate up these vocals though.

14. The Best of You

giving disney channel original movies less popular-popular song (please tell me you understand what this means.) the band was really popping off with this one though.

15. Go Go Nighthawks!

chorus is good but overall not my fav, curt’s solo is sooooo good.

anyways i love npmd so much and please perceive my opinions tumblr !

[caswlw]

thoughts on new sneak peaks for tonight 👀👀👀

i have SO many things to say omg

firstly, i think the writing in them is wild. buck’s hesitance every time he says something to tommy (and even more when he sees tommy and eddie interact), the way that he keeps pushing down his feelings to be like “yeah friends are good, always good to have more friends”, THE HALF NAKED MEN LINE??, the line about just Clicking with someone and buck saying he knows that exactly… i could go on 🤧 i think the editing is a bit stiff in the tommy/buck interaction and that’s not helping what ppl are saying abt their chemistry, but the bachelor sneak peek seems to have fun directing choices behind it so !! a mixed bag on those two parts

i’m having my pre ep delusions fluctuate tho. after the us mag article i was So Sure abt bi buck, then we get an article with friendship inserted in every single line, and then i actually see the clips and im shifting between saying that there’s def a story there or idk maybe the writers’ and oliver’s idea of buck getting off his hamster wheel is just branching out into new hobbies/friendships and thats the self reflection they mean- not what we all want it to be. but after that thought i go back to the us mag article and im sure again that it IS what we all want it to be.

i think regardless the episode is going to be a banger bc it’s about buck, ravi is in it (YAY), and an ep w a buddie focused part will always do numbers in the fandom. but im very optimistic in ways i wasn’t before this onslaught of news!!! so we’ll have to see :)

[atomicwinnerdreamland]

do you have any headcanons on texahoma or NY/NJ/CA? (or opinions on them?)

also here's two headcanons of my own: Oklahoma sometimes lets Texas brush his hair since he knows how much Texas loves it. Texas likes to run his hands through it, play with it, and style it when Oklahoma lets him. His hands are pretty roughed up (scars, burns, etc) from wars/Mexico/farm work so Oklahoma's soft hair feels nice on his rough hands. New York, California, and New Jersey go skateboarding together a lot. New Jersey and California saw New York eyeing a rat stuffed animal at a store and instead of being smart and just paying for it, they stole it for him. New York yelled at them for being stupid (he treasures it and keeps it next to his bed)

Hii! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer this, life just hit me with everything these past few days and I just saw your ask. I hope you know that I appreciate you and your request so much & I'll answer it the best way I can :D

Texahoma

OPINION: I love this ship so much! I love how they have an enemies dynamic that has the potential to turn into a love story (some enemy dynamics can be toxic to the point a potential romance is out the window, but that's not the case here). To me, they have a married couple vibe where they bicker over the smallest stuff but wouldn't hesitate to comfort each other when needed. "Must be exhausting thinkin' about me all day, huh?" is a banger line, and it defines their romantic tension to me. They're so awesome :D

(also I reside in Texas, and I can confirm that many of my Texan fellas dislike Oklahoma bc there's nothing much to do there as opposed to Texas & Oklahomans hate Texans bc they think Texans are mean, but honestly I wouldn't call it full hate. Just a rivalry)

YOUR HEADCANON: I love your hc for them! Oklahoma definitely has soft long hair that he maintains in the best way he can (even if the hair products can be expensive) and Texas definitely knows how to treat hair :D That's such a sweet hc and definitely one of my favorites I've heard.

-Texas has taken Oklahoma to an HEB before and has raced with him to get every single item on their grocery list. Texas knew that Okie would lose bc Texas knows this HEB like the back of his hand, but to his own surprise, he let himself walk through the aisles slower than he usually does so he could see Okie be proud of himself when he gets all the items first. It worked. Okie bragged like there was no tomorrow but Texas wouldn't dare change the happiness Okie felt.

-They go to HEB every weekend. They don't even shop there sometimes, they just roam around the store and somehow entertain each other as they do so. "Remember that time you tried to microwave this cake mix?" "I did that so I could poison you, idiot." "Mhmm.."

-Oklahoma and Texas go tornado watching in Okie's state. They're not scared though since Okie's used to it and Texas practically goes hurricane watching with Loui and Florida. One time they blacked out from hitting their head in their shaky car when it caught into the tornado, and Texas was the one who managed to wake up first and get them home safe.

-Texas cooks for Oklahoma & Oklahoma chooses the outfits that Texas wears. Big dude can't dress himself in something other than a button-up, old jeans, and cowboy boots, so Okie changes it up. Okie also validates Texas when Texas wants to wear something that's considered more feminine (dresses, skirts, crop tops, etc).

-Oklahoma humbles Texas. Big dude is super prideful and can sometimes forget to be humble, so Oklahoma never hesitates to humble him. Kind of like how Washington called Texas out ("Texas, you're killing jobs!" from Table News: Ida goes North, Texas goes Backward)

-Oklahoma and Texas both have scars, and occasionally, they caress each others' scars to tell each other that they'll love their scars just as much as they love every other part of each other. <3

-Louisiana and Arkansas have been their go-to when it comes to Okie & Texas' at-home dates. Louisiana cooks the food for the dinner and Arkansas sets the mood up with decorations and music.

-Loui and Pirate Kansas have also been one of the main reasons the 2 got together in the first place. Loui and Texas are best friends & Okie and Arkansas get along somewhat, and once Loui and Arkansas found out their best friends like each other, they got to planning. Florida has also joined in, and while neither Texas or Oklahoma wanna admit it, Flo's goofy wingmaning is another reason they got together.

-They had a heavy, angsty confession over in Texarkana (a city that's in TX, OK, and AR) that led to crying and a short trip to Buc-ees to feel better :D

-[this one is kind of suggestive] Before they got together (a.k.a when they were still rivals), Oklahoma dragged Texas out of Texas' little hut in the countryside and took him to see his state, saying, "Who said there's nothing to do here?" and Texas lowkey thought, I'd do you here if only you'd let me. Texas left Oklahoma still thinking that the state is far inferior than his though. Of course, Texas couldn't get the dirty remark out of his head, and that's when he realized that shoot, he likes Oklahoma.

-They like to listen to country music and ballads together and even sing on occasion. Since Texas knows so many languages, he knows ballads from all around the world and sings them to Oklahoma to put him to sleep (preferrably Spanish & Filipino love songs). Oklahoma also puts Texas to sleep except with folk songs or old stories.

California/New York/New Jersey

OPINION: Honestly, I'm not sure if I love it or if I'm neutral about it, but I know I don't hate it. I usually ship CaliYork or California/New Jersey separately and never really thought about putting the three into a poly relationship, but I've seen your take on the three and it's actually growing on me. My fav's still CaliYork, but I like these three goofballs together too. I need to read more stories on them though 😅

YOUR HEADCANON: Oh they definitely skateboard a lot together and are competitive when doing so. I betcha their clumsy selves have gotten injured before too :3 And the stuffed animal theft is beautiful, they'd do anything to see their bf York happy. Aww :3 (you have such a creative mind omg)

I don't have many headcanons on them, but here are a few that I have:

-They all ride motorcycles together. Sometimes New Jersey's the one that drives and Cal & York ride with him, and other times they each have their own bike and race each other in whatever road they please (they all agree that I-4 is a no)

-Jersey and York cook for California to make sure he is well-fed. They've tried to teach Cal how to cook, but they've all decided that it's better that he doesn't 😅

-They're all fashionable goofballs and have been mistaken as models once when they were walking through the streets of Hollywood. New York's fashion is either business-casual or punk, New Jersey's usually in shorts and a casual tee but the accessories make it stand out, and Cal changes his style a lot but usually is in a crop top w/ shorts or a designer fit. Despite all of them having different fashion tastes, they like to match outfits.

-They maintain a garden filled with their state flowers. When they all got together, New Jersey showed the other two his personal garden filled with violets and sunflowers (in courtesy of Kansas, whom I think Jersey likes to talk to sometimes), but as their relationship progressed, it slowly turned into a garden of violets, California poppies, and red roses.

-They all like to go to beaches in California to de-stress. Sometimes they go there at 3am just to avoid crowds and hear the waves, other times they go at noon to feel the sun as they swim in the waters. They always go home with a smile on their faces.

-They've driven in each of their states to see which state is the worst to drive in. California has traffic, New York's kinda disorganized, and Jersey has roads where you're doomed if you take a wrong exit. All of these roads trips have ended in arguments, but nothing violent because they all learned to communicate w/o violence.

That's all I have for now 😅 Thank you sm again for your ask, and happy new year to you!

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 6

welcome the the sixth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Chapped Lips by Creatortan

Lance's lips were a distraction, sometimes. Keith just couldn't keep his eyes off of them.

i read this one and forget to bookmark it and it haunted my mind for WEEKS as i desperately tried to find it again. i went bonkers bc i wanted to reread it so bad, bc it is EXCELLENT. its fun and gay and the team as family dynamics are AMAZING, no team bashing here!! and as usual the pining was chefs kiss.

2. Mine by Anonymous [EXPLICIT, ABO]

How do Lance and Keith react when the other is kidnapped?

Keith goes feral. Lance becomes deadly.

yeah, yeah, i know. another omegaverse. absolutely feel free to avoid this one if it’s not ur thing, i know it’s not for everyone, but it was one of my first pieces of bamf unhinged lance and i refuse to be ashamed of liking it lmao. also i think it’s fair to say that this fic inspired my unhinged batshit lance fic, at least a little. give it a try if ur like me an abo is a guilty pleasure lmao

3. the way i love you by @taylortot

quiet moments in which keith and lance fall in love. and kiss a lot. post s7.

words cannot explain how much this series means to me. genuinely a series that is so poetically soft and loving that it makes tears well in your eyes. i started reading this series right when i turned 16, and idk it truly made something crack in fizzle in my brain, it made me realise how careful and choosing love is. i have read this series more times than i can count, definitely one of the top ten, and there are lines from this fic that i repeat to myself when i am looking for hope. i know it hasn’t been touched since 2020 but i will be watching it carefully and hoping for years to come. (my favourite, in the series, although it was hard to choose, is i want to kiss you there)

4. Read Label: Lance McClain’s Boyfriend by @bleusarcelle

“You know I’m not ashamed, right?” Lance meets his gaze sheepishly. “Like, I’m not ashamed of you, of us. Far from it, babe, I swear –”

“Lance,” Keith cuts in kindly, smiling warmly at the teen in his arms. “Believe me, I know but I do want to tell the world what you mean to me. I wanna start with our team, our family.”

“You should come with a warning,” Lance whispers, stroking Keith’s chin fondly as he drops his voice. “Caution: words that leave these lips may cause falling deeper in love. Thank you for shopping at Mullets4sales.com.”

Keith throws his head back as he shakes with laughter. Lance grins proudly at sound before he props himself on the bed and drops unceremoniously on top of his giggling boyfriend’s chest.

“But yeah, yes; let’s tell them after dinner.”

[Or the one where the team is on their way back home and stop on a planet where a pissy prince drugs Keith with a love potion and Lance has to endure watching his secret boyfriend being lovestruck on someone else that isn't him.]

bleusarcelle always has and always will be one of the core founders of this fandom fr. trust me when i tell u their work was THE work. i remember greedily reading every fic of theirs several time, and i still read several of them regularly. but i will always be a sucker for the secret relationship trope. and this one managed to have that trope with none of the team bashing or miscommunication garbage so it’s a banger from the get-go fr

5. When Moonlight Touches Us by @pmwrites-blog1

Branches scratched his cheeks as he ran through the woods. Out of breath and covered in mud, Lance eventually crawled back under the fence onto the school grounds. He stopped at the large fountain in the plaza, leaning heavily on it. He splashed his face to wake himself up.

It didn’t work. Keith was real.

-

Based on 214b's Gargoyle AU

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VOLTRON FIC OF ALL TIME. i dont know why. i have no idea why ive latched onto this fic so specifcally, what about this fic just makes me want to reread it again and again, but if i could print this aand bind it and keep a hardcopy with me every day of my life i would. im obsessed with it. beauty and the beast who?? like this fic is everything to me. i cannot recommend it enough. im fully convinced this fic did something fundamental to my brain. nothing i write will ever be so dear to me as this fic and that’s literally okay. the stars aligned to make this fic possible. is it the fact that i know there’s pretzellus art for it and so the whole story was cemented into my brain? possibly. i truly do not know. but i am fully obsessed with this story and likely will be for infinity

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!