#I mean technically this version wasn't on the album but

[pardonmydelays]

clancy tour (watching a livestream) essay 🙏

anon, this question made me so unbelievably happy omg. i just can't get around to the eras tour essay, however, i do feel the need to write, so we're doing this instead.

for the context: i woke up at 5:30 today to watch the livestream of clancy LA show. no, i wasn't there in person. but mentally i was.

please, listen to this incredible playlist while you read my essay (no one's gonna read, it mark my words):

i have decided we will just go through the entire setlist. i don't want to make this too long but i wanna talk about EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. let's fucking go.

OVERCOMPENSATE

so this is when i started crying. who the fuck cries on overcompensate, you would ask... well, me, apparently. i honestly think this is the best opener for both, an album and a show. this song gives me so much serotonin i can't even explain it. i'm always worried about tyler tho because his entrance looks dangerous (the jump, the jump, I AM TALKING ABOUT THE JUMP!). nothing bad happened tho, thankfully. i also noticed he was wearing the other version of clancy jacket today, the one with the hood. not that it's important, but it kinda is. for me at least.

HOLDING ON TO YOU

ok, so if you know me you probably know this is my ultimate favourite twenty one pilots song. and the live performance is even better with the crowd stand at the beginning (i swear to god, it's so incredible to me how much trust tyler has for the clique), clancy mask and lightbulb mic (you can tell tyler has a lot of fun with it), and my favourite part - josh's piano backflip during the bridge of the song. fucking iconic. what's not to love.

VIGNETTE

first thing i want to talk about is the insane transition from holding on to you to vignette. honestly, all transitions are so fucking amazing on clancy tour, it's impressive. now, tyler's little dance during this song is one of the most adorable things i've ever seen (he is such a cat omg) and and and! NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES!!! i'll be honest with you, because of this part vignette became one of my favourite songs from clancy and definitely one of my faves from this tour.

CAR RADIO

another one of my favourites. car radio will always hold a very special place in my heart, it's so relatable to me. it makes me so happy that we have a chance to see it being performed in clancy costume (and clancy mask!!!). and when tyler teleports at the end! (also i think he's wearing a totally different jacket in this clip which probably means he has three different clancy jackets, i have no proof tho so i'm just gonna shut up. the video is from LA night one tho. not my show). here's another clip, you can see how he teleported here.

THE JUDGE

ok, so for those who don't know, right before every show the fans in their incredible outfits are being filmed while singing the judge together and every night they show a different video of them singing first verse + chorus and then after that tyler comes out with his ukulele to finish the song. it makes me cry for no reason at all. yes, i cried today too (it just makes me so happy to see all the clikkies singing together and they all look so beautiful always). so what happened today? content warning glitch happened during fan video, you can watch it here, then blurryface tweeted this:

i am losing my goddamn mind over this, people on the livestream were losing their shit when this happened, I STARTED CRYING LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABOUT EVERYTHING THIS BAND IS DOING. ugh. i was so right to watch today's livestream. something's gonna happen soon guys. they are warning us.

(i added CUT MY LIP to the playlist but technically it's the judge/cut my lip mashup so there's really not much to say about it)

THE CRAVING + TEAR IN MY HEART

the transition. the goddamn transition!!! it's honestly so fucking cool and probably one of my favourite parts of the tour. i absolutely love all jenna's songs and everyone who says they should not be on the setlist, fuck you forever. in this house we stan all jenna's songs. i usually cry on the craving and tyler is being so silly during tear in my heart - this is my favourite thing in the world. plus, do you really hate the sound of ukulele???

BACKSLIDE

ok, i actually started crying as soon as i realized we're singing backslide now. i love this song so goddamn much, it means the world to me. at one point it was my favourite song from clancy. the chorus breaks my poor little heart every single time and live performance of this song is so emotional... especially at the end when tyler is on his knees (the video is not from tonight's show but it's my favourite one from backslide, please watch it, his vocals here are INSANE). it's like crying for help. i wanna kill myself now. i relate to this song so much. also, backslide is the reason i decided to buy clancy tour tickets, so there's that.

SHY AWAY

oh, thank god this one is on the setlist. you know how much i love scaled and icy and i think out of all the songs from this album shy away is the best one to put on the setlist because the live performance is always so fun!!! don't you shy aWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! the scream is absolutely fucking everything oh my god. actually, i just love when tyler screams. but don't we all.

HEATHENS + NEXT SEMESTER

ok, now don't hate me, please, but i was never the biggest fan of heathens (i don't hate the song, i like it, just not as much as the others. i probably wouldn't cry if it wasn't on the setlist). however, the transition (again!!!) from heathens to next semester is the best goddamn thing in the entire world and i am losing my mind every single time i come across any clip of this moment. please, watch it, this is everything!!! one question tho: i know tyler was playing bass on the platform for next semester and he didn't do that today, did he just stop doing this recently or is it because of what happened yesterday during the show? (not during this song tho, or at least i know nothing about it, but it seems like LA fans absolutely cannot behave and he was definitely being more careful today, more about it later tho).

ROUTINES IN THE NIGHT

oh boy, this is my vigilante shit for real. remember vigilante shit performance from the eras tour and how everyone was losing their shit when they saw taylor doing the choreography with this motherfucking chair? yes. it's basically that except tyler is fully dressed. which is even worse maybe (y'all know how i feel about his clothes for some reason). one of my favourite songs from the album, but after seeing the live performance for the first time i became absolutely obsessed with the song. i was genuinely scared today because this is basically what happened last night in LA (i swear to god people are acting like fucking animals) and i noticed that tyler was being much more careful this time: he wasn't coming so close to people, and honestly good for him. he didn't even let them touch him during this part. i can't blame him. i feel so bad for what happened. hope he's ok.

ADDICT WITH A PEN + MIGRAINE + FOREST + FALL AWAY

my favourite mashup in the entire fucking world. but before we get into it, please this is so fucking funny and adorable. so basically, before playing the mashup, tyler sat by the piano and he said "currently i'm temperature hot. so i would want to take my jacket off, i promise not to turn on all the dads tonight" and then this happened. poor guy didn't know what to do LMAO. he's such a cutie, please watch the video, he's so adorable i can't. he's also the funniest person on earth. back to the topic, the mashup... i am such a slut for their old songs and this mashup is absolutely fucking insane. the song i love the most out of those is, of course, forest. according to tyler, this song is so old it basically doesn't exist. fuck you, tyler joseph. i can't believe i'm going to hear it live tho, holy shit. i will be fucking SOBBING during this part, i just know that.

MULBERRY STREET

this is such a fun song to play live and one of my favourite moments. you can tell how much fun tyler has each time they play it, also this! this is everything!!! he's always so happy when this happens, he trained us well hahaha. it's so fun omg. can't wait to be a part of it. this has always been one of my favourite songs from scaled and icy so i'm glad they decided to keep it on the setlist.

NAVIGATING

get in, losers. we are entering the lore now. ok, honestly, this part of the tour is absolutely everything to me. torchbearer with his torch? and clancy jacket?? coming to pick him up so they can perform while dema is burning??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. oh my GODD. also, navigating is so special to me (i picked this url for a reason) and live performance of this song is fucking fire. watch it. watch the clip. just watch the goddamn clip, will you? we all know this song is on the setlist because of josh, so everybody say thank you josh. also you can tell tyler is very emotional about this song and i just wanna give him a hug. oh my god. i can't wait to hear it live. this will fix me (it will probably make me worse).

NICO AND THE NINERS + HEAVYDIRTYSOUL

the MOTHERFUCKING transition!!! i know i say this a lot but i am such a slut for all the transitions on this tour, oh my god. they are so good. also i absolutely fucking love how we're still in the lore and also, the visuals are absolutely incredible, and also, nico and the niners is one of my favourite songs (the one that got me into their music actually) and also heavydirtysoul live is INSANE and also-

MY BLOOD

ok, i'm sorry, i keep forgetting that this song is on the setlist. it's not one of my favourites (don't fucking hate me, i like it, it's just not my fave). i will be very much singing it at the concert tho cause it's so good live. not much to say about it tho.

OLDIES STATION

boy, here we go. so i started crying at the very beginning of the song and honestly i have no idea how i'm going to handle this live. i am so very normal about this song. it means everything to me. the worst part of it tho was when during the song tyler said "thank you so much for using our music. you've saved us in ways you'll never know". OH MY GOD. i started weeping even more. it's like... their music saved US but we also saved THEM and i need 3-5 business days to recover after that. good lord. listen, i love slowtown and i'm sad that it's not part of the setlist anymore, but i love oldies station a hundred times more and that was a good change me thinks.

FAKE YOU OUT + GUNS FOR HANDS

putting those two together just because i can and i will. vessel is such a great album and it makes me so happy that those two are on the setlist. screaming "our brains are sick but that's okay" with the entire arena is going to fix me, for sure. also, here's the clip of tyler messing up the lyrics (he basically went kjbufbfkkjejkebfkjk after that lmao). can't blame him. the rap part is so fast. i died tho. he's so funny, please.

LAVISH

i can't even begin to explain how happy i am to have this one on the setlist. it's the funniest moment on tour and i love watching them being stupid on stage. also, jOsH iS sHiRtLeSs. the walk, THE WALK LMAO. the best choreography you've ever seen. i just love seeing them so silly and happy and this is everything. i paid a lot of money to see this live. i'm definitely not gonna regret this.

RIDE

so the thing i love about this tour is that every single night while performing this song tyler brings a different kid to sing the chorus with him (it's the equivalent of giving the hat during 22 on the eras tour i would say). tonight we had an adorable girl named callie (if i'm correct). she did so well! also i was giggling so much when tyler said she's cute (he was giggling too hdshfbhekj). i just love watching him with kids, it's so sweet!!! also she had a great beanie with band's logo, i want one too. please watch the clip of them singing together!

PALADIN STRAIT

i was crying. i was crying so much, i love this song and the live performance is so emotional. i put the song bandito on the playlist, because there's this moment in the song where tyler is singing the bridge of paladin strait and josh is singing bandito at the same time and OH MY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE LORE??? THIS IS SO CLEVER AND I AM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND EVERY SINGLE TIME I THINK ABOUT IT. please, watch. this is sick as fuck. you don't understand. do you even understand? OR AM I THE ONLY ONE I KNOW???? i'm sorry i just can't i can't i am defeated i am absolutely insane about this part. also, the ending when they are showing the clip of paladin strait music video combined with other clips which looks like a flashback from clancy's life and his never ending battle with nico? the fuck??? and then we go straight to...

JUMPSUIT

the motherfucking coat. not gonna say anything else. just. the coat. oh dear lord. now i am temperature hot.

MIDWEST INDIGO

now my favourite part of midwest indigo is tyler taking off his coat very slowly. because he fucking knows what he's doing. but also, this song is so special to me. i know he wrote it as a love letter to ohio and i'm not even american but somehow this song always makes me think about my hometown. the live performance is so great. the beginning with the bass! he's adorable!

STRESSED OUT

"i don't want stressed out on the setlist it's so overplayed" kill yourself. i love stressed out because i have good taste. it's fun. it's a great song with great lyrics and you fuckers hate it only because it's popular. just shut up. shut the fuck up. in this house we actually enjoy listening to good songs. i personally want it to be on every setlist. if stressed out has no fans it means i killed myself. i'm dead. i'm gone. stressed out defender forever and always. also clancy tour version is incredible. just watch it and shut the fuck up.

TREES

again, i was so scared about my boys because of what happened yesterday in LA. people are fucking animals. i'm so glad, because tyler actually decided to call them out for this and seems like it was much better today. but still. guys please, behave, cause if you're not gonna start acting responsible they are going to stop performing like this. it's still insane compared to the opening night of clancy tour where people didn't even come closer until tyler told them to. i also just noticed now that tyler's t-shirt had black font today (the previous one had red font) for the first time. i think i was just too tired to notice this before. there's not much i can tell you about trees, because you just simply have to be there to understand. it's a perfect song to end the show (for those who don't know: they always close their shows with this one), it's something i experienced live once before and i can't even compare it to anything. i wasn't even crying. my soul literally just left my body. trust me, there's absolutely nothing like trees live. i can show you thousands of clips and it will never be enough. nobody does it like them. seriously. this is the moment. the moment of all moments. i am in fact crying now...

TO SUM IT UP:

great show. 10/10. would recommend. i'm going to see them live in 223 days. this is the thing that makes me want to stay alive. yes. i need to stay alive for this. whoever sent me this ask, thank you. it means the world to me. i need to talk about them because it's the only joy in my life now. they are the reason i want to push on through. also, if you made it this far, thank you. i love you. and i'm sorry.

[hooked-on-elvis]

So, this post made me think about some conviction of mine and I wanted to know your opinions too.

For me, Elvis' voice is better in the 70s, end of story, which is not novelty for any one but naturally we have diverse opinions on the fandom, that's why I like sharing my views on it. I'm not going deep dive about the technical aspects on Elvis' voice because I'm no music teacher, vocal trainer or anything so I'll stick to my feeling as a mere fan. You may love Elvis' 50s voice better, nothing wrong about it since he rocked at all eras - no question about it - but denying his voice was way more amazing in the 70s is like saying Elvis didn't improve himself as a singer over the years which is totally untrue. Let me say it... My fav thing is hearing him singing the 50s songs in the 70s (and late 60s). On the '68 Special when he sang "When My Blue Moon Turns to Gold Again" I was like... literally hollering at my seat (and kept listening to the song over again, each time bringing me closer to watery eyes).

Understand what I'm saying? Both versions amazing, but the 60s one it's just... flawless!

Another of the '68 special's rendition of a 50's song I love happened when Elvis said Scotty Moore asked him to perform "Lawdy Miss Clawdy"… I gotta say, the first time I heard him singing this second song was the '68 version but a few days ago I played the 50s version and… not even close to impress me as much. Although is fairly good, it doesn't hold a candle for Elvis' voice in the late 60' and all the live 70s versions of it.

Anyway... Elvis' from the late 60's on voice is the most! I mean, listening to the 50s version of "Lawdy Miss Clawdy" don't you miss the Sweet Inspirations singing "Bye bye, baby" and "Won't be coming no more..." on the background? The 1972 "Elvis On Tour" version is the best one EVER! And that's what I mean… Elvis kept improving himself as a singer year after year! It doesn't matter how sometimes his sicknesses affected his vocals during the late 70s, because that's very understandable (even tho is a shame) and even when his voice was a weaker (in an Elvis to himself comparison scale), his voice through the 70s is better than his 50s voice alright anyways. C'mon! That's true! By the way, for me, Elvis singing with a sore throat sounds better than 95% of other performers (and the 5% that could possibly outshine him around the time his voice was weak are the 50s-70s ones - his own fellow music performers. Not even one of the today's artist could come close to what Elvis' voice was, even when he sounds a little weak during some late 70s live performances, much less at his voice's best powerful and full vitality moments). That's my opinion.

Anyway... sometimes I wonder: Was Elvis really "the King" in the 50s? I'm not talking about his numbers, the amount of fans, money or fame here, guys. I don't either wanna sound like I'm belittling Elvis' amazing, not ever seen before or after, tremendously impressive successful career. He totally earned being dubbed "The King of Rock Roll" in the 50s considering he's done what no one had ever done before and was really successful at it. We can say he was "the King of Hearts" since the 50's but in music... Okay, all his bold wild dance moves live onstage and his big charisma did it for him to earn the title "the King" too, but even so his voice was great and unique, it wasn't perfect... just yet. I think of him being crowned "the King" in the 50's somehow as "being a promise to be fulfilled" — and it was. During his career he was year after year getting better and better as a singer and performer, showing everyone he indeed was "the King", in spite he was doing movies or recording albums, Elvis never ceased to keep the world's eyes on him and he did it so effortlessly. Even tho he worked his ass off, his charm and talent was natural as day light. Elvis Presley definitely wasn't a regular performer and maybe that's why he was crowned as "the King of Rock and Roll" so early in his career but to me, the moment he absolutely triumphed and proved nobody could ever hold a candle to him was from the late 60's on.

The Elvis we see from late 60s on, performing soulfully onstage is undeniably "THE KING".

What are your thoughts about this? Do you prefer Elvis' voice in the 50s, 60s or 70s?

[misscammiedawn]

Would you like to share any opinions on RUSH? You get extra points if they’re hot takes.

*HIGH PITCHED SQUEEEEEEEEEEE*!!!

Penny? I love you! Thank you for unleashing my thoughts!

VERY WELL! Let us begin!

I'm gonna list them in random order

- Time Stand Still is best music video and anyone who disagrees is being a grinch!

- Our favorite album is Roll the Bones and our favorite Live CD is A Show of Hands! I think Rush in Rio and Permanent Waves are the *best* though!

- They should just release the Different Stages live recording. It's pretty much out there as extra features on the other DVDs!

- The Clockwork Angels book and graphic novel are pretty average but are worth it for making Seven Cities of Gold not suck. The worst song is the best chapter of the novel

- I would buy a Blu-Ray that is just the backing videos for the live videos and I hate that the only backing vid that exists in full form is By-Tor from Rush in Rio (as an Easter Egg)

- Emotion Detector is the most underrated Rush song and I would have preferred Tom Sawyer or YYZ not get played in one of the tours to accommodate it in a concert! Only 44 songs have never been played live before and of them the only one that I think deserved to be played more is Vapor Trail because it is the ONLY title song of an album never played live (after Presto was pulled out for Time Machine)

- It is pronounced Why-Why-Zed. It is spelt Vapor Trails. The American spelling of Vapor is essential to the song's message

- Analog Kid is Alex's best song, Ghost of a Chance and Between The Wheels are second and third-- though live versions of Working Man are up there

- Geddy's solo at the end of Leave That Thing Alone (Time Machine Tour) is the exact peak of Rush, that was their highest point as a band!

- SARS Fest concert kinda sucked? Spirit of Radio with Paint It Black intro was amazing but the equipment was shot and they gave Alex a hot microphone. They also cut off the "encore" which just sucked. I am also a little salty that Rush were an opening band for the Stones *in Canada*.

- Tom Sawyer is overrated and they're not even Peart lyrics. Limelight and YYZ off of the same album are better.

- Neil's Ayn Rand period is a valid part of Rush history and provides so much extra context to The Garden. The same pen that wrote "begging hands and bleeding hearts will only cry out for more" ended his life with "the measure of a life is a measure of love and respect, the way you live and the gifts that you give, in the fullness of time it's the only return you can expect" - a man with a storied life as Neil with as much tragedy as he endured ended with him completely giving and loving in his heart when 35-40 years prior he wrote empathetically that "you don't get something for nothing"

- La Villa Strangiato is in my opinion not just the best instrumental but it is in contention for best Rush song period. I would never give it that title because it lacks Peart's lyrics and I find that people who say that have an irrational dislike of Geddy's voice... but it's still a valid take. Natural Science would get my all around best song badge. But best and favorite are not the same in my world and even still I mean *technically proficient* mixed with lyrics. I'll change my mind, likely. But that's my feeling right now.

- Geddy didn't get vocal training until before My Favorite Headache (2000) and Neil didn't get jazz drumming instruction until Burning For Buddy (1994). Both artists were just fine as they were but they perfected their arts and I prefer late era Rush because of that. The band never stopped evolving.

- I would have liked to have heard one of the solo album songs live (I Am The Spirit, Promise or My Favorite Headache) or have Bob and Doug do Take Off for a charity event like the South Park or Hawkings concerts last year. I *still* want that. Neil wasn't involved in the solo albums. It could still happen.

- I want a Jukebox Musical of Rush music so that The Body Electric isn't the only piece of fiction scored to Rush.

- Alex Lifeson could have been a comedian. He's one of the funniest humans on the planet.

- Peaceable Kingdom is better for having been the only song where lyrics were written after the music. Vapor Trail has amazing lyrics in general but I feel the limitation had positive impact and I wish Neil and the band did this practice more than once.

- Rush's improvised and last minute songs when they are running out of studio time are the best. Malignant Narcissism was the result of the album director seeing Geddy warming up with a vintage fretless bass and said "put that on the album" so they composed around the improvised riff, Force Ten was literally a last minute addition to Hold Your Fire. La Villa is said to have been recorded in a single take (I do not believe that legend as it wasn't in any of the biographies I have read). Rush just work best with limitations. They're a bunch of goofs and giving them a time limit makes them go into a Saitama style serious mode.

---

I could write tons more. But I'll call it there.

I like Rush.

A lot.

More than you think I do.

[mimikoolover]

Everyone getting upset about the Jikook content being monetised:

Having two members of the most famous supergroup in the world right now travelling around several countries for content is expensive af. With it being technically a work trip (and imho a very convenient union of two people clearly wanting to spend time together, them seeing the opportunity for some quality content during enlistment, and adding some padding to the whole travel permit pre-enlistment they'd have needed), I don't think they would've made Jikook pay for most of the expenses. But the hours of pay for staff, editors, security etc etc that would've been needed for the travel show need to be generated by the show. I don't know the deal between Hybe and Disney+, who paid who how much and so on, but I guess adding more profit - sth BTS and Jikook would itself profit from (meaning more free content later, more funds for things post enlistment) - isn't something unusual.

That said, there's plenty of options to consume BTS content without paying a single dollar. And I think, apart from pirating their music obviously, they'd be understanding because they know how it is to not have enough money.

Just because BTS produce something you can buy doesn't mean you have to. I myself haven't bought all the solo albums because 20 Dollars every few months just isn't something I can include in my budget. Same for the kdrama or the photofolios or the DDay concert dvds. But there's people that upload scans of the pics online, qdeoks exists for those of us who can't spend 50 Dollars for every boxset to watch one concert we like. You absolutely don't need to buy it, but they produce all this content anyway because it will undoubtedly sell. Is it capitalism? Yup. But that's just this world right now.

I'm of the opinion, kpop should add a version of albums or dvds without all the fancy extra stuff, to make it more accessible for the average consumer. Maybe the price will just be 5 Dollars less but that could be enough for many people in the fandom. Same for DVDs - I love the thought of 25 photocards of my beloved AgustD being all "tongue technology" on stage, but that's just not a realistic price tag for the average army to pay. It sold out, because people save up for it or are just rich and I can't be mad at the company to continue to make these products if they sell like hotcakes: it's just supply and demand.

Anyway. Eat the rich (though BTS maybe not), fuck capitalism and let Jikook be 🌈 for money.

yes exactly! you're a fan if you love bts and consider yourself a fan. you don't need to buy anything to be a fan. it's nice to have merch though I think because it's just nice things to have but it's not a prerequisite to being a fan or something everyone "needs to" buy. there's lots of merch I'd love to own but I can't afford to spend 100s of bts every month. you can always buy merch later too, you don't have to buy stuff immediately.

this monetisation thing is only coming up because it's jikook and people are looking for any excuse to be shitty. no one said the wooga squad is leeching off tae for in the soop friendcation or made up any weird theories about that. and I am not a fan of the wooga squad (sans tae obviously) and tbh the comments they made would have made it so easy to call that a fake scripted money grab.

I'd love to know about their disney deal cause it's interesting from a business/legal point of view. in the soop friendcation seemed like a last minute idea or at least something tae came up with on the fly and they scrambled to make it quickly. so idk how the others were planned there, why jimin's docu wasn't on there, will jungkook's be on there eventually? idk. hybe stays weird lol

[goliraz]

cracker island track by track review

'review' used very loosely. These R the thoughts of a tipsy scouser

got too long so it's hidden; it is mainly critical tbh not because Im negative or mean its just my track by track thoughts and on sound alone this (2 me) was the weakest album they've ever put out

cracker island: if it came on in a club I would dance to it but I don't know if Id be having a great time. The song feels way more redundant than it might actually be because there's only like 1 melody in it. The instrumental melody & the vocals r the same. So IDK it's like. Its definitely technically a song. But it's like the bare minimum of a song

oil: I wish if any of the songs on this album broke from the popsynth fake drums mold it would be this one. The thing about Stevie Nicks is I don't listen to fleetwood mac at all but her voice is so unique and captivating. It crushes me like an anvil on my head that they didn't even let her sing on her own + kept her to a secondary harmony the whole time. This more than any of the other songs would have benefitted from real instruments IMO. The up a perfect fourth down a perfect third hook is catchy & that pattern can't fail it sounds good nomatter what.

the tired influencer: at this point in the album Im starting to wonder why they even bother with the characters playing instruments anymore cos what did noodle do on this album. There's like no guitar at all on the album. All the bass is synth bass. The characters' function in the band/story is getting less & less relevant to the music it annoys me. IDK this song is boring 2 me. Its like if the Fall was overproduced and had nothing 2 say

silent running: this song has always since it came out felt half finished. It's like the basis of a song that's not done IDK I feel like it's missing a component that might make it feel whole. The feature could have been deleted and the song would be the exact same; something I notice about the features on this album except Bootie brown & bad bunny is that they're extremely underutilized to the point where they might not have even been there. Like ur featuring an artist to do a background harmony??? Maybe this song will feel more done & real when I hear the piano version

new gold: 1 of the better ones on the album for me completely because of Bootie brown. Even though they took a rapper who is so strong and good even (especially) live and put his voice through 100million filters and dampened his skill completely. The live version of this one is how I wish it sounded on the album cos the energy of Bootie's part in that saves this song; timing is kind of cool but it's not like. New in any way.

baby queen: if they had changed the presentation of each instrumental in this song they could have made it an 80s synthpop genre piece like aries that would have been 4x better. I wish it wasn't so so so so so so boring to me. It just sounds like all the other songs on the album IG it feels like a filler song to me. Even just better/less smooth tone/effects on the synth wld have been something but suppose not

tarantula: it's catchy but it feels low effort. The lyrics r dumb IDK how else to put it not that they're inherently stupid but they're dumbed down. Compared to sum of their earlier more 'romantic' minded lyrics like every planet + some of the stuff off plastic beach, "if ur good for me and Im good for u then that's all I need in my life" sounds like a 2014 pop lyric geared towards the 11-16 age demographic u feel. Lyrically they've dumbed down their shit so much

tormenta: fine I guess. It's mid reggaeton that's too produced and smooth to even dance to. If it came on in a club compared to most other bad bunny songs I've heard not even the bad bunny fans would dance. It's like. Too slow to be what the only things going for it would suggest it is. The little synth break at around like 2:40 is the prettiest thing in the song to me I wish maybe they had leaned more towards that for tone instead of trying for something the song is just not

skinny ape: the third better song on the album. In terms of like well these are better than the rest. Like it's this new gold and oil I think. Maybe this is the song that feels the most comfortable in what it is. It sounds exactly like 2012 radio pop in the self proclaimed "alternative" genre like grouplove an shit. Like it sounds like 1 song in particular but I cant remember what it is and its driving me fucking mental. Something about it is likeable even though the lyrics are so fucking dumb I wanna tear my ears off. U are not a cartoon G damon u are an embarrassing middle aged geezer

possession island: like if Idaho kind of forgot its poignancy. But there's something really beautiful about the first minute of it. Maybe this is actually one of the better ones too. The further Im getting into it the more Im liking it. I don't see why beck had to be there. It's like the plague of this album they feature someone to literally sing backup. Anyway the further I get in this song the more I like it I think it's my favourite song on this album probably. OK goodbye

addendum: if I listened 2 any of these songs coked out of my mind they'd probably sound fine so maybe I should just save this album 4 those circumstances

[rogeriswater]

Don't Leave Me Now

xx

This work contains fictionalized versions of real events and people. Most details won’t be accurate to real life.

tags for this chapter: p.o.v changes, mentions of death and drug use, some smut, some dirty talk

March, 1968

~m.r~

We had been going through the start of another tour. It had been difficult considering Syd wasn't really touring with us at this point, but he still technically hadn't left the band yet. Luckily, Roger was able to steer us through it. We had been touring mostly throughout Europe and the UK to begin with. At the same time, we continued to work on the album. It was getting closer to being finished.

Roger and I only got closer and closer. It was the beginning of March and we had a couple of days off. He decided that today was the day he wanted me to meet his mother. I made sure to dress nicely. I wanted her to like me. Roger was always mentioning to me how his mother never approved of the girls he's been with.

The buzzer to the flat rang. I knew it was Roger so I immediately let him up. I didn't have to worry about Billy freaking out that I was gone because he had gone on a trip with his friends. Ronnie and Sandy were gone now as they had their own place they were living in. So, anytime I've been home, I've been lonely. Except, of course, for the days when Roger would be over.

I stood at the door and waited for him to knock. I opened the door when he did. When he saw me, his eyes did a once over of me and he smiled. "You are so beautiful, my darling" Roger pulled his hand from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of flowers. "I saw these and they reminded me of you because of how pretty you are" He always said that when he brought me flowers, and it made me melt every single time.

"You really are the sweetest, aren't you?" I said. When I looked from the flowers back up to him, his lips were already planted on mine. It was the most tenderly he's ever kissed me. "Let me go put these in a vase with some water" Roger stepped inside and settled himself on the couch while I went into the kitchen. "What did you tell your mum about me anyways?"

"I told her that you're a close friend" He answered.

"And how will I know she'll like me?"

"You'll know, sunshine" As long as it wasn't anything like when I met Billy's mother. I got the flowers put in a vase and then I was ready to go. I emerged from the kitchen and he looked at me. "Ready then?"

"Let's go"

...

We approached the front door of the house that Mary Waters lived in. As far as I knew, Roger only mentioned to her that we worked together and that we had grown to be very close friends. He knocked on the door. A woman bearing a striking resemblance to Roger had opened the door. "There's my George!" She smiled at Roger. She gave him a hug.

"Hello, mum" Roger greeted her.

She pulled away and then looked at me. "Oh my! Aren't you just a doll? You must be Maggie"

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs Waters" I told her.

"Call me Mary, my dear" She placed her hand on my arm and beckoned me inside, with Roger following behind us. She had us sit in the sitting room while she fetched us some tea.

"Why did she call you George?" I asked Roger once we were alone.

"Roger is actually my middle name, and George is my first" He explained. "I prefer to be called Roger"

Mary came back with the tea. She set it down on the table in front of us. When I reached for my cup of tea, I felt her hand gently grab my chin and she tilted my face up so I was looking at her. "Such a truly beautiful girl you are, my dear"

I felt warm at her compliment. "Thank you, Mary"

She smiled at me before sitting in the seat across from Roger and I. "Does this means Judith is out of the picture then, George?" She asked, causing Roger to sigh. Then Mary smiled over at me again. "Your new girlfriend is a huge improvement over her"

"Mum, Judy is still my girlfriend" Roger explained, causing Mary to scoff and roll her eyes. "I've told you before, Maggie is just a close friend"

"George, there is only one reason why sons bring girls home to introduce them to their mothers" Mary prattled on. I could see Roger already getting annoyed with her, but I had to say, I rather liked Mary. I reached for my tea cup and I could see her eyeing my hand. Her face seemed to drop. "Is that a ring, my dear?"

"Yes, I'm married" I told her. I guess Roger never mentioned that part to her.

She smiled sadly. "Well, your husband is a very lucky man to have you for a wife. Tell me about yourself then, Maggie" I told her everything about my life, mostly about my family. "Your father died in the war too? What was his name?"

"Victor Leopold Fox" I answered.

Mary's eyes lit up, like the name was familiar to her. "There was one letter I received, shortly before Eric died. He had mentioned how he made a friend with a man that went by the same name your father did" My eyes widened. Had my father and Roger's father really had known each other? "Apparently, your father talked about you a lot. Then, of course, Eric mentioned how he had a son a few months younger than you. Apparently they had made plans to introduce the both of you, had they survived the war"

I turned to look at Roger, and he seemed to be just as in shock about this information as I had. Mary, on the other hand, kept on smiling. "It was fated that you two would meet, considering how your fathers would have had you two grow up together"

I was suddenly feeling overwhelmed with this information. It was funny how Roger's mum was able to tell me more about my father than my own mother ever did. "May I use your bathroom please?"

"Of course, my dear" Mary pointed me in the direction and I followed them. As soon as I reached the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and I started to cry.

~r.w~

I grew worried about Maggie as I watched her rush to the bathroom. Great, I think my mum just made her cry. I turned and looked at her. "Don't look at me like that, George" She scolded me.

"I think you made her upset" I explained. "Her mum doesn't talk about her dad at all"

Mum looked guilty. "Oh. I had no idea" She quickly changed the subject. "Tell me about this husband of hers. You must have met him already"

"His name is Billy" I answered, my mouth turning sour as I said his name.

"Is he good enough for her?"

"Mum, why—"

"Is he good enough for her?" Mum repeated.

I sighed. "He really isn't mum. But she won't leave him"

"Then you have to change her mind, George" Mum told me, and I gave her another look. "You can't fool me. I know you love her. You look at her in ways you've never even looked at Judith before. I am telling you now, I would like to have Maggie as my daughter-in-law someday and I would like to have grandchildren before I die"

"I never understood what your problem with Judy is"

"I've never trusted her. Even if she hasn't cheated on you yet, then she will. It's only a matter of time" My mum always had that suspicion with Judy. I've never believed it myself, until recently that is. I've never caught her with Billy yet, but if those two were doing something behind mine and Maggie's backs, I wouldn't be surprised. If that were the case, I really do think Maggie would be more hurt than I would be. "George, you and Maggie are soulmates. If you let her slip away, you will regret it"

Was mum right? I never believed in that soulmate shit but I found myself believing it now. But what good is it if your soulmate is already married to another man? "Mum, I'm glad you like Maggie—"

"She's the only decent girl you've brought around. Every girl you've brought around ended up cheating on you, and I have no doubt Judith will do the same" I was about to say something but Maggie had returned. Mum got up from her seat and walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her. "Are you alright, my dear? If I made you upset, that wasn't my intention"

Maggie smiled at her. "It's alright, Mary. It's just... you're so open talking about Roger's father with him, but my mum, she acts like mine never existed" She started tearing up. "I've never had a good relationship with my mum"

My mum gave her a smile. "Maggie, so long as you're with my George, I'm your mum now, okay?" She placed her hand on Maggie's cheek. Maggie's eyes closed and she pressed into my mum's hand, clearly not used to such motherly affection. "Why don't you two stay for dinner?"

"Mum, we have to—"

"Yes, Mary" Maggie answered. "We'd love to"

...

My mum and Maggie chatted all throughout dinner. I'm pretty sure mum was already starting to plan our wedding in her mind. "Tell me more about your husband, Maggie" Mum asked.

I clenched my jaw. Just what I wanted to hear. The woman I love talking about her husband. "His name is Billy. We've been together since our first day of high school"

"High school sweethearts!" Mum exclaimed. She gave me a look. "Much like George and Judith. Of course, they didn't start dating right away. He had a couple of girlfriends before her. And poor George, all of them ended up cheating on him"

Maggie looked at me sympathetically. "That's terrible"

"How many boyfriends did you have before Billy?"

"Oh, none"

"So you've been with the same boy for a very long time then?" Mum said, smiling. By hearing that, I knew she was thinking, finally, a girl that would stay faithful to my son. "What was your wedding like?"

"We didn't really have a wedding" Maggie answered sadly. "We got married right after we graduated at a registry office"

"That's a shame" Mum said. "Every girl deserves the chance to have the wedding of her dreams"

"But we are renewing our vows, and we're having a ceremony for that, so it'll make up for it" Maggie forced a smile. I could tell she tried to happy about it, but it really wasn't the same as an actual wedding.

"My dear, do you love your husband?" Mum asked suddenly.

"Mum, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Let her answer the question, George"

"Of course, I love Billy"

Mum smiled. "But do you really love him? There's a difference between thinking you love someone and truly loving someone"

Maggie seemed stunned at what my mum had said. "If I didn't truly love him, I wouldn't have married him"

"Mum, that's enough!" I scolded her. What was she trying to do anyways?

Mum sighed. "I've crossed a line. I'm sorry" I looked at Maggie and she seemed to be staring off into space now. "Perhaps you could introduce me to him sometime? We could all have dinner together. And George, you should bring Judith around again sometime"

It was never good when I brought Judy to see my mum. They tended to argue a lot, mostly about me. And I don't even know why she would show an ounce of interest in meeting Billy. I suppose she just wanted to meet him and see for herself whether he was good enough for her or not.

...

Maggie and I didn't stay long after dinner. We said our goodbyes to my mum. When we got into my car, we both just sat there for a moment. "Look, I'm sorry about my mum" I apologized. "I don't know why she was asking you all that"

Maggie smiled. "It's okay. I like your mum"

"She likes you too. I think you're the only girl I've brought around that she likes"

"I'm sorry you've been cheated on before"

"I've gotten over it. It's not like those relationships were serious anyways. And I'm not gonna act like a saint and say I haven't cheated before" I admitted. I saw Maggie nod and she frowned slightly. "Before you came along, I would be with a different girl every night after a show. But now you're the only one I ever want"

She reached over and touched my face. "Is Judy home tonight?"

"No, sunshine"

"Take me to yours"

~m.r~

We couldn't have made it back to Roger's any faster. The minute we were inside, his hands were all over me and his lips were on my neck. I felt him sucking at my skin, and I knew if he kept that up, he was gonna leave a love bite. "Roger, no marks" I warned him.

He stopped and muttered against my skin. "Why not"

"You know why"

I felt him smirking. "I wanna leave marks all over you, sunshine. Show all those men that watch you that you're mine" He growled possessively. "They all stare at you when you're on stage and I bet they're all thinking the same thing. About how much they wanna fuck you"

"Is it any different from when you're staring at me?"

"The difference is that you'll end up in my bed at the end of the night"

I turned around to face him. His pupils were blown wide with lust. "You've yet to take me in your bed though, Rog"

"We should change that tonight" He said before leaning in and giving me a passionate kiss. Roger picked me up. My legs secured around his waist and he held me tightly by the waist. I thought he was going to carry me to the bedroom but he brought me over to the couch instead.

He set me down and stood over me. I looked up at him, confused. "Roger, what—"

He dropped to his knees and I immediately caught on to what he wanted to do. "I can't hold off on fucking you any longer, but I want a taste of your cunt before I bury my cock inside of you"

I reached and laced my fingers in his hair. I began massaging at his scalp and he let out a soft moan. He placed a kiss to my knee which caused me to spread my legs. He began rub his hands against my thighs. Sadly, the phone started to ring which interrupted us. Roger groaned in annoyance. He got up and went over to go answer the phone.

"Hello?" He spoke. "Hi, Peter. No, I was with my mum all day. Maggie? She happens to be here with me" Roger looked towards me. "Well you can tell me, and I'll make sure to tell Mags" He remained quiet for a moment, but I could see his entire face fall. "Syd's what?"

That made me get up and walk over to Roger. "What's going on?" I whispered to him. He was only on the phone for a few moments more before he put it back on the receiver and looked at me. "What's wrong?"

"Syd's run off somewhere. Peter went to go see him and he was gone. Plates and every thing were smashed" I could tell that Roger was concerned about him, but I could also sense the frustration. "I can't do this anymore, Mags"

"What do you mean?"

"Syd, we can't keep doing this with him" I could hear Roger's voice break, like he wanted to break down and cry, but he didn't. "I think it's best for everyone if he leaves the band"

"Roger, you—"

"You know that I'm right, Maggie" He ran his fingers through his hair, clearly frustrated. "I feel awful for saying that. He's my friend, but he's just been so—"

With both of my hands, I touched his face and he visibly calmed down. He looked at me. "Let's not worry about that right now, okay? We need to go find him. He's probably feeling all alone and scared"

...

Roger and I went out looking for Syd. It had gotten dark by now and it was heavily raining. We had been driving all over trying to find him and we were having no luck. I could sense how frantic Roger was feeling. "Y'know, if you weren't here with me right now, I'd probably be going crazier than I already am" He told me. He reached over and grabbed my hand.

"We'll find him" I assured Roger. We kept on driving until finally we came across an empty park. Save for one person that I spotted sitting all alone in the grass. I made Roger stop the car and immediately bolted out. The heavy rain had quickly soaked my hair and through my clothes, but I didn't care. I kneeled down beside Syd. "Hello?" I quietly said to him. "Is there anybody in there?"

He didn't say anything. Instead, he slowly turned his head to look at me and he blinked slowly. I could tell right away that he was on some drugs right now. He was shaking a lot though I wasn't sure if that was due to him being cold from the rain, or the bad trip he was having. I touched Syd's shoulder but he flinched at my touch.

"Syd? Do you know who I am?" I asked him slowly. He continued to stare at me and he nodded. "Who am I?"

"You're the pretty lady who sings in the band" He said as coherently as he could in this state. "Maggie" Syd managed my name. "Shining star"

I smiled. "Yes, that's me. Roger and I are here to bring you home, okay?"

"Roger" Syd slowly repeated his friend's name. "Roger is in love with Maggie, but he won't tell her"

Wait, what did he just say? Surely, that just has to be the drugs talking. Syd doesn't know what he's saying right now. There's no way Roger could... could he? Syd let me grab his hands and pull him up to his feet. I had my hand around his waist as I guided him to the car. I opened the door for him and he crawled into the back seat. Once he was in safely, I got in the front with Roger.

"Where are we taking him?" He asked me.

"Well he shouldn't be alone" I answered. "I think he should stay with us for the night"

...

We brought Syd back to Roger's. I sat with Syd on the couch. He laid down with his head on my lap and I combed my fingers through his wet hair. Roger went to go fetch Syd a pillow and a blanket. When he came back, he also had a spare set of clothes so Syd wouldn't have to sleep in wet clothes for the night.

Roger looked down sadly at Syd, before sighing and shaking his head, as if he was disappointed in him. He mentioned something about making a call to Peter before leaving Syd and I alone again. "Thank you" Syd muttered quietly.

"Thank you for what?" I asked.

"For being the only one who gives a shit about me. The others don't care about my feelings or what happens to me"

"Syd, you know that's not true"

"But it is, and you know it. I'm getting kicked out. It's over for me"

I really didn't know what to say to him right now. I shivered as I was freezing cold due to my dress being completely soaked through. "I think you should get some sleep, Syd" I left him so that he could get changed and go to sleep.

My feet carried me to Roger's bedroom. I could hear him inside, chatting to Peter on the phone. I stepped inside and leaned in the doorway as I waited for him to finish. "I really do think that's what is best. We can't keep doing this with him anymore" Roger spoke, obviously about Syd. He looked at me, finally noticing my presence. "Y'know, what, it's late so I'll call you back tomorrow" Roger hung up the phone.

"Was that about Syd?" I asked him.

"Yes"

"And?"

"Promise you won't be mad at me?" He asked me, to which I nodded. "This was the last straw for Syd. If he's gonna keep going like this, then we can't have him in the band. I know he was on acid again tonight"

I stood there, processing what Roger had just told me. "Okay then"

"Aren't you mad?" Really, how could I be when Roger was right? Syd was getting worse and worse. Maybe he wouldn't be able to get the help he really needed until he left.

"No" I simply answered. I shivered again and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to give myself some warmth.

"Oh, sunshine, you're freezing" Roger fretted over me. "You need to get out of those wet clothes" He walked over to the dresser and pulled a drawer open.

As for me, I stripped out of my dress, not really caring that Roger was still in the room. He's seen my tits before so it wasn't a big deal to me. There was a cool air against my skin which gave me goosebumps. Roger found a garment for me to wear. When he looked at me, his eyes danced across my body and he smiled. "I still can't get over how beautiful you are"

He walked over to me and handed me the silky garment. It was a nightgown. "Is this Judy's?" I asked him.

"Yes, but it should fit you" Wasn't that romantic? Roger giving me his girlfriends lingerie to wear for the night. I grabbed it and was about to put it on. "Wait" Roger cupped my tits in his hands. His warms hands felt nice on them. He leaned down to give them attention with his mouth. He kissed them both before taking one of my nipples in his mouth. He sucked on it as if he were a child being fed by their mother. He made sure to give my other breast equal attention. When he pulled away, he looked at me with a smirk. "You can put it on now, darling"

I pulled the nightgown on. Roger turned and then proceeded to undress himself. I watched as he pulled his shirt off. The muscles in his back flexed graciously. Then, he started to remove his pants. He pulled them down, revealing once again that he never wears anything underneath. I bit my lip at the sight of his perfect ass. I turned around just as he turned, so that I wouldn't be caught ogling at him.

I heard Roger chuckle. "I know you were staring. It's okay" He came up behind me and pressed himself against me. His arms wrapped around me, one hand pressed against my stomach and the other cupping my breast. I could feel his cock against my ass. He pushed my hair aside and pressed a kiss to my shoulder, and then up my neck.

I glanced forward and look at our reflection in the mirror we were standing in front of. There was something about the sight of a naked Roger behind me, kissing my neck and fondling me, that was so perfect to me. And this is the first time I truly noticed the height difference. My head came to rest just below his chin. Something about Roger being taller than me made me feel safe and secure. That's something I never got with Billy.

Roger looked up and caught my gaze in the mirror. He grinned at me. "What do you see, my darling?"

"I see you and me" I told him.

"You know what I see?" He leaned in and pressed his lips against my ear. "I see a man who's been so lonely in his life and he's finally found the woman he's been waiting his whole life for" It's a good thing Roger was still holding me because that would have sent me to my knees. "I'm not a religious man, but I truly do believe God created you just for me"

I've never heard such a romantic thing spoken in my life. I didn't realize that he had made me start to cry. "Roger" I really didn't know what else to say besides his name. He was leaving me speechless.

But the next thing he said, was what really caught me off guard. "I'm gonna leave Judy"    "What?"

He continued to explain himself. "It doesn't feel right when I'm with her anymore and it feels like I'm betraying you anytime I kiss or fuck her. I meant it when I said you're the only girl I want"

No, I couldn't let him do that. Not for me. Not for a woman who was never going to end her marriage "Roger, you can't leave her"

He seemed to ignore me as he continued. "I'm gonna be with you forever, sunshine" He touched my face and turned my head. He began to kiss along my face. "I want to marry you someday. I want you to be my first and only wife" It was as if he was high just off of my very presence with him. I always got the impression that he was never fond of the idea of marriage, but here he was, promising that he'd make me his wife someday. And I was enjoying it. It made me smile, my worrying thoughts of Billy or Judy disappearing.

"Say it" I urged him. I turned around so that I was facing him. I touched his face. "I already know you do, but I want to hear you say it"     He grasped my face in his hands and looked me right in the eyes. "I'm so fucking in love with you" He confessed. "Christ, we haven't been together that long but, I love you, Maggie. I love you so much"

I smiled when I heard his words. I don't know how long exactly I've been waiting to hear them, but I have been. So I said the words I have only ever said to one other man. "I love you too, Roger"

He kissed me hard. He picked me up and carried me to the bed. We didn't make love that night yet, but we touched and kissed all night. Yes, we may have said the magic words to each other, but did that mean we would leave those that we already belonged to? Roger seemed pretty dead set serious about it, but only time would tell if he would follow through.

As for me, would this give me incentive to leave Billy? As much as I had fallen hard for Roger, I still loved Billy. Perhaps one day, but for right now, I was content where I was. I had Roger with me now, and that's all that mattered to me in this moment. That last thing I heard him saying to me before I ended up falling asleep was that he loved me.

[bisluthq]

There's also other options as in they having parents (or someone else) bankrolling all their little heart desires, which lucky you. It's not the case for a lot of people. Again, there's a lot of people out there actually struggling to even have food to eat. How much of an asshole do you have to be really?

Or maybe they do have a job, but no children or pets and Taylor is basically their only hobby so everything they earn goes to that. Couldn't be me, I actually have the problem of constantly finding out new hobbies to try and obssess over and have to pick and choose before investing. And idk if it's because european culture is a bit different, but I also legit find a waste of money to buy multiple versions and specially merch. I like collecting stuff too, but like if it's an expensive collection I immediately feel the need to choose carefully the ones I like best. The fact that a lot of swifties buy multiple vinyls and don't even use them is even more of a nonsense to me.

And then the merch, I get if there's like a really cute original thing in a drop but other than that...I personally find most merch drops kinda full of crap and/or ugly stuff. Now with the whole relationship thing, it's wild swifties are actually buying merch about a relationship. The shops are just cashing on your stupidity really. I see swifties finding it hilarious and loving the whole thing and I wonder if they are self aware to realize that fans of a singer buying stuff featuring her boyfriend is ridiculous. Who does that? It's not your relationship, why are you spending money on things like that? And no, people aren't selling themed stuff because they are soulmates and royalty. It's because of your dumbasses

yea look it also couldn't be me. I've said before here I've never bought any Taylor crap but I realised subsequently I lied because I have the (stolen) Speak Now CD but tbf it was not really crap because when I bought it like streaming wasn't a thing so idk I do have that CD as it turns out. The others I think I just Limewired tho ngl. Also when I say I have it, I mean my mum has it because I've never collected my DVDs or CDs from her ever because I... don't need them... but yea I do have that CD technically as a thing that I nominally own. I don't collect merch or Taylor stuff so that's it tho.

I *do* collect shoes and I'm really quite fussy and particular and have spent obscene amounts of money on them and I know it's very stupid but I like... shoes... and I also collect books and some other things also. I do (again nominally) own some crap from like shit I was into as a teen but as an adult I don't spend money on merch or posters and I don't buy physical copies of albums because I... pay for Apple Music every month specifically to avoid that and my brother pays for Spotify so I also have that?? So why would I need a CD right like???

The really obscene thing that I really want is a Le Creuset collection and I've said this multiple times but I really cannot justify purchasing any of their stuff and whenever I've brought it up as shit I want people just gift me the mugs. So now I have like 4 or 5 mugs/cups which are really very fucking cool but I wish they'd give me a casserole pot or a pan? I know it's expensive but like can't they go in on it or something lol? Also I want the yellow ones and NO ONE has ever given me a yellow thingie. I've got multiple shades of blue and a green one but like??? Also the one is an espresso one and I don't even drink espresso like cute idea but again guys just go in on a casserole one. For my 25th I like REALLY wanted this btw and I got a knockoff casserole dish from my ex and I must say it looks a lot like Le Creuset but it's NOT and I felt very Swiftie in terms of like "OKAY BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!!!" even though it kinda looks the same and performs the exact same function but actually if it had been in yellow I'd have prob liked it a lot more but even she got me a shade of blue one and she SPECIFICALLY SAID it's because it matches the cups and I was like "BUT WHY ARE THE CUPS BLUE!!!!?????" Anyhow.

I'm not gonna judge people for being into stupid shit lol. If you want to collect Taylor crap that is entirely your own business and I wish you well in that endeavour and if it makes you happy to look at your Taylor crap even better. I also have like little thingies (like little elephants and a little fairy and other little crap) that I have all set up in like a little shrine to my crap tbh and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me happy to look at my crap shrine. So if your version of that is Taylor crap, fucking aces away to you.

If you want or need new tech, that's great and you should go buy that stuff like if you can afford it. I am not gonna woe is me my life or pretend my shit isn't - imo - expensive. I've got an iPhone 11 and a MacBook Air and I have AirPods and like idk I think I could live without these things but I do like them and whatnot. I will eventually upgrade my phone like when it stops doing what I need it to do and I will probably like my shiny new one lol. But rn why would I bother?

I *am* gonna judge you though for being weird and elitist tho because, again as you anon have said, people are struggling to get food and essentials for home and you're popping off about a literal millionaire's mid range phone? And about another millionaire's TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR gift to his fiancee? OKAY THEN. Wow.

[hzrnvm]

before i go to bed, 5, 6, 21, 49, and 60 :)

5 (Favorite Genre): H'm... i've got to say i've never really thought of this before, but I guess if I had to put everything together the only thing i can think of that would cover it well would be rock. i think the main thing I care about in music is that the lyrics and at least one (1) other thing is nice. sometimes if the other thing is good enough it can make up for shoddy lyrics but that almost never happens. the other way around (good lyrics but nothing else) can happen though, but it usually results in me getting into the song for a few weeks then dropping it.

6 (Favorite Song): My favourite song of all time is This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody). Specifically the Stop Making Sense rendition but the Speaking in Tongues version isn't bad or anything. I've never really went in depth into how much i love this song and why, but I probably will someday. the conditions have to be very right though. and to make up for the fact that I can't talk in depth about the song, i'll say my second favourite song: Up the Wolves from The Sunset Tree by The Mountain Goats.

21 (too few songs for one album): See so one of my favourite albums of all time, and one that I spend a lot of my time thinking about (and as such I have a very deep understanding of), Remain in Light, has 8 songs. And I always loved that amount. It was actually a weird shift when I got into They Might Be Giants: I didn't know what to do with all the songs on one album! But when I think about it, 8-10 being my favorite amount doesn't mean 6-7 and 11-12 are the same. I think once you're dropping below 7 you're teetering tottering man.

49 (song of winter): Now since this follows "song of the year" i can't tell if this means best song that came out this winter or a winter-y song but if it's asking for a wintery song (im taking this to mean not like a christmas song or song about winter but just one with vibes I associate with winter) i can give... ok: Dinu Lipatti's Bones (The Sunset Tree – The Mountain Goats. I just realized this one mentions winter in the song. coincidence [not technically but in a way] lol) and something from In Rainbows by Radiohead (or should I say, "ne'i loi tanbargu" by "cradystedu"!), let's say House of Cards.

60 (song you dance to): I recently discovered "Strange Overtones" by David Byrne and Brian Eno! It's very danceeable, veyr fun, very singable. Also the 2023 Stop Making Sense rerelease is very danceable, it's got Cities on it (cool! it wasn't on the last release!) and also Big Business / I Zimbra (that wasn't either! wow!) and you already know how much i gadji beri bimba glandridi lauli lonna cadori gadjam a bim beri glassala gladrirdi e glassala tuffm i zimbra! And I'm sorry to all the tumblars out there who only know the studio version but Once in a Lifetime's SMS rendition is infinitely better than studio. time isn't holding us time isn't after us. holy shit i just realized there's a double meaning there. time isn't after us is both "time isn't after us" as in "time, though it will continue after we die, doesn't come after us." and "time, though it marches us towards our deaths, is not hunting us down to kill us". holy shit...

[amortentiaparker]

RED (and blue) + p. parker series

+ chapter seven

→ Y/N, a swiftie, jokingly reposts the “Red (Taylor’s Version) boyfriend application form” on her instagram story.

The details are as follows: Looking for a boyfriend for the last week of August to the month of November- right before RED (Taylor’s version) drops to be exact. Applicant needs to make me fall in love with you immensely and you are required to break me like a promise before the deadline.

And somehow Peter Parker finds himself as the top candidate.

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, cheesy pop culture references

word count: 10.5k (buckle up ladies, gents, and non binary friends)

A/N: welp here we go!! so sorry for the lack of update the past two weeks(?) i am awful at math and keeping up with the construct that is time,, but also we are already halfway thru the thirteen chaps and i hope you will like this part!!

series masterlist + my masterlist

buy me a ko-fi?

six | seven

The decathlon practice questions weren't as hard as this one: what are you going to dress up as on Halloween?

Flash had sent the group chat into a spiral when he said that he'll be hosting a Halloween party this year. You were all freaked out because last year, after a failed attempt at inviting Spider-man to his Halloween party, Flash promised not to throw another one. Yet, he confessed that his optimism returned when you told him the story of your two brief encounters with the Avenger.

Your friend group was a unique composition and Flash was definitely the one that brings the flair for dramatics to the table. And in this case, Flash always goes full blast when it comes to Halloween costumes and he wanted everyone attending to put in the same effort. Technically, there wasn't a list but if you showed up to the front door with a half-assed outfit, you weren't going to be let in.

Just last week, you and Cindy were talking about how relieved you were to not go through the difficulties of picking a costume, and now you were in an empty school bathroom brainstorming for ideas.

"Oooh! We should go as our favorite Taylor album," You suggested, confident with your idea. "Or we'd go as folklore and evermore."

"That's really cute, but aren't you going to get a couples costume with Peter?" Cindy asked as she applied on some lip balm.

Her words left you stunned. Flash had announced the party through text just this morning and with all your stress at the prospect of finding a good enough costume, you didn't stop to think if Peter wanted to go with matching outfits.

"You didn't tell him?" Cindy turned to look at you before she snickered. "Or were you too busy shoving your tongue down his throat?"

"Cin!" You shouted, face starting to warm at her words. "Of course I told him earlier but the bell rang and--"

"And didn't give you two enough time to fix up?" Your best friend continued. "I saw the lip gloss on his lips, y'know. The exact shade you're wearing right now, hmm."

"Stop it," You managed to say just exactly before the bell rang. For the first time today, the sound actually relieved you instead of making you mad. You just hoped you didn't look flustered when you exit the bathroom.

You only had one class with Peter today, with it being P.E means it doesn't promise any time to talk to each other. So with that, the two of you decided to... make the most out of the morning before the bell rang.

Ever since the day of your first kiss, there was a significant shift between you and Peter. You felt a lot more at ease seeing as the kiss sealed the deal and you no longer had to walk on eggshells around him. You shared a "proper" kiss before he left your apartment the day he asked you to be his girlfriend. After that, everything was bliss. You also noticed that Peter was a lot more confident too, acting on his words instead of leaving it as banter. Being told that you were going to be kissed and him following up on it wasn't something you were opposed to anyways.

Seeing that attempting to talk to Peter during gym was a bust, the next time you got a glimpse of him was during decathlon practice. Glimpse was the best word to describe it because Mr. Harrington and MJ singled you out, drilling you with questions that sounded familiar from Sophomore year to new ones that you struggled with. Despite their efforts of telling you that you have their whole support, you still felt the pressure especially with the competition being a month away.

Mr. Harrington's hopes of you accepting all the difficult questions certainly didn't help. In the split seconds you had the time to zone out, only one thought repeated in your mind. The doubt in yourself. What if time didn't bring you to the best version of yourself? What if all the medals and awards you had won for the school all those years ago was the best you were gonna get?

"Not bad, babe."

"Thank you, H," You said, nothing but adoration in your voice. "Not just for coming today, but for everything."

Your gratitude was welcomed with a kiss. Harry laced your fingers together as he led you out of the auditorium hall and towards the parking area where his driver was waiting. You were on a high, having won a special award for participating in this decathlon event and with Harry finally attending to watch you after months of asking.

The memory left a bittersweet taste. You remember how much cheering your teammates did for you, the messages from your parents saying how proud they were, and with Harry finally showing some liking for decathlon. Until he made you quit. Because apparently you didn't have time for him anymore even if he was the one running around playing with dangerous science in his Father's laboratory.

Decathlon means a lot to you because it pushes you to work hard but it always rewarded you in the end. You're also really grateful for the friendships you have formed with your peers. They have always been yours and each other's support system in all things decathlon, but a little loving from your significant other would have been nice.

"Where are you?"

You didn't want to get frustrated, you felt like you didn't have the right to. But it was your first anniversary, you donning a new dress. Sure you were young, but you were in love. You were entitled to going out to celebrate.

"I'll be right there, babe, I'm so sorry," Harry said in a desperate voice. You knew it from when he'd let himself break down and rant to you about the pressure his surname brought him.

"It's okay. Are you alright?" You most certainly weren't but you knew that your boyfriend needed to be checked up on.

"I'm.." He started. "I'm fine. I'll see you, okay?"

Harry promised that he'll make reservations especially after seeing you sulk over leaving academic decathlon. How convenient that he pressured you into leaving when your anniversary date was right around the corner. You felt guilt eat you alive when you assumed that he did it on purpose. Harry was kind to you, but then again when it comes to him, everything is strategically planned. The only thing keeping hope in your heart was his promise of seeing you in this candlelit restaurant.

But you didn't see him.

You were waiting for him to burst through the door with the lopsided smile that you loved so much. Despite the looks a few servers in the expensive restaurant gave you, you pursued. You kept your eye on the door, just waiting for him to walk in.

He was already long gone when you realized that the blame for your heartbreak was on you.

"Y/N?"

Your head snaps back up to see Mr. Harrington's expectant face. He said that if you got this one right, everybody would get to leave early. Great, more pressure.

It was unfair to Peter that you had moments where you thought of Harry. But in your defense, it was always linked to decathlon. The blonde boy had taken it away from you, and now that you had that piece of yourself back, you were afraid it was going to be ripped from your hands once more. You never really understood why decathlon was the thing that Harry went after. Maybe it was because it took most of your time? Or his best friend's? Looking back, you knew it was unfair that he took out that irrational problem on you.

Thankfully, you managed to answer the question correctly. The encouraging claps from your friends should have put your mind at ease but it did the exact opposite. You stepped off the platform and rushed towards your bag to check up on your notes. You mumbled inaudible goodbyes to your friends as you scanned index cards after index cards and let them know that you'll be fine going home on your own.

"Y/N, are you free tonight?" The sound of Peter's voice gave a little calm in the storm brewing in your head.

"I thought you were hanging out with Ned?" You asked, still skimming over your notes. "Don't let me get in the way of your date."

"You can join us for Star Wars, Y/N!" Ned chimed in.

As tempting as it sounded to hang out with your boyfriend, you knew that you had to study first. All you could muster was an apologetic smile at Ned.

"I'd love nothing more," You smiled a little before looking back down at the papers in your hands, "But I gotta study and prepare."

If you were looking up, you would have watched Peter and Ned exchanging a silent conversation between them, the other knowing exactly what the other wants without a single word. Ned left the classroom, leaving only you and Peter inside.

"Baby," He started. "You know that you can take a break, right?"

"I know that," You sighed, shoulders slumped. "But I have to do this. I haven't earned anything to-"

"Hey!" Peter said. You would have been startled if it wasn't for his concerned look and doe eyes. "None of that. You deserve to be part, again, of decathlon. You've never missed a single practice, you kill it every time and-"

Peter didn't get to finish his pep talk because you swiftly placed a hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. It was chaste but it was a symbol of your gratitude. This boy had been nothing but sweet to you, either as a friend or partner. The word boyfriend still left a giddy feeling in your stomach. It brought a flush over the both of you when you address Peter as such.

"I can't." Your voice wobbled as you looked into his captivating brown eyes.

You had some sense of self-awareness to know that you have been running yourself to the ground when it came to studying for decathlon on top of other exams and assignments. But you couldn't live with another failure. The team took you back despite you leaving them for such a stupid reason and there is this need to prove yourself worthy of your place.

Warm hands found its place around your waist and pulled you in. The comfort that Peter's hug brought you to wave a white flag against your stubbornness. You deserve to take a moment for yourself and once you get back to studying, you'd feel better than ever.

You nuzzled your face into the crook of Peter's neck and he let out a satisfied hum that reverberated in his chest that was pressed against yours. The palms of his hands moved like gentle waves of the sea across the expanse of your back. Its calm presence would have lulled you to sleep if it weren't for Peter speaking up.

"Is that a yes?" Peter asked, one hand finding the back of your neck to softly rub the tension away.

Your eyes fluttered close at the sensation but you managed to tease anyway, "Hmm, but I can't crash my boyfriend's date with his boyfriend."

"I'm sure Ned won't mind." Peter chuckled.

You only nodded before pulling away to fix your things. Ever the chivalrous gentleman, Peter slung your bag over his shoulders. You often find yourself daydreaming about how strong Peter is. That little date at the grocery store a few weeks ago still gets you flustered.

Ned was waiting by the lockers outside of the classroom and his contagious grin spread even wider when he saw that you and Peter were approaching him, hand in hand.

"Yes! Finally a new perspective on one of the greatest movie franchises of all time," Ned said.

Taking the bus was surprisingly good today despite the after-work hours rush. Ned was on another seat as he insisted he didn't want to third wheel as Peter laid his head on your shoulder.

"I like it when you call me that," Peter said, suddenly.

"Call you what?" You asked, fiddling with Peter's fingers using your own.

"Boyfriend," He said with a grin. "Your boyfriend."

Peter's resumé should really have 'being able to make Y/N Y/L/N smile no matter what' as a core skill of his.

"I like saying it," You replied, "I like it when you call me baby."

You broke out into song, "But don't call me kid, don't call me baby."

Peter let out a burst of laughter so loud most of the passengers in the bus turned to look. Ned was the onlooker with the brightest smile. He was feeling pretty smug for playing matchmaker

+

The thought of Peter's Aunt May didn't even occur to you until you were standing outside his apartment's door. It would be your first time in the place meaning it would also be your first time meeting her. As if sensing your nervousness, Peter grabbed your hand in one of his while the other was opening the door.

"May's not home," He said to you and Ned, but you knew it was his way of reassuring you.

Peter led you to the living room and let Ned set up while he went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks.

You could tell that Ned was already familiar with the crooks and crannies of the Parker household. He knew exactly which cabinet to pull the TV remote control out of and how to operate it. You were glad that Peter had a true best friend.

As Peter returned from the kitchen with a bowl of delicious-smelling popcorn, you fidgeted in your seat. The couch was comfy, and it seemed to accommodate three people at best, but Ned had already taken a seat by the carpeted floor. With somebody else being around, you got shy at the fact that you had the urge to cuddle with Peter. You two haven't done it before.

"Hey, you good?" Peter asked as he sat next to you. Not too far away but not close enough for your knees to touch.

You only nodded, hoping the warmth in your cheeks would fade.

The opening credits started to play and the three of you fell silent. You could feel the eyes of both boys on you as if waiting for a reaction.

"If you have any questions, let me know," Ned said and you chuckled in response as Peter lightly tapped his foot against Ned's side.

"That's supposed to be my job," Peter whined.

"It can both be ours!" Ned retorted which left you giggling for a few seconds before you were shushed with a finger to your lips by Peter.

Around ten minutes in, you had to peel your eyes away from the screen to Peter who seemed to be.. fighting an itch?

You could tell he was trying to be subtle with his movements but you still decided to lay a hand on his knee and quietly ask him if he was alright. His nods were a little too quick and you knew how much energy this boy had in him.

"Do you, uhm," You glanced at Ned who was intently watching the film before leaning in to whisper into Peter's ear, "Do you want to cuddle?"

Peter nodded again, but this time he didn't look so hesitant. It was obvious that you two didn't know where to start. With the both of you not having cuddled somebody else, except for a pillow, in quite some time.

Eventually, Peter lifted one arm up, silently asking you to curl up on his side as to not disturb Ned, who was still minding his business and munching on popcorn.

You settled into Peter's side and his arm draped over your shoulders, his fingers immediately drawing heart shapes on your forearm. It's so comfortable in your position that you fought the urge to fall asleep by the crook of Peter's neck since Ned had started talking about different fun facts during the filming of this particular Star Wars movie. There was a faint hint of lavender by his soft hoodie.

You tried to chime in your compliments to the movie by giving simple "woahs" and "that's really cool" and you didn't notice how Peter wasn't even paying attention to the movie in the first place. All he could look at was you.

Movie nights wasn't your ideal way of winding down, but you felt infinitely better by simply being in Peter's presence and how his best friend has welcomed you with open arms. To be fair, he was the one to fill in the form that got you and Peter together in the first place.

"Well, I gotta go," Ned announced as the credits started to roll.

You pouted, wanting to watch the next movie with Ned's amusing commentary. Peter also thought that the movie night would stretch out until one of you passes out in the living room, but apparently, Ned's mom wants him home for a special dinner.

"I want a special dinner too," Peter pouted and you laughed as you stared at the wrappers of snickers scattered on the coffee table.

"We're broke teenagers, Pete." Peter's frown did a whole 360 at the sound of the nickname.

After putting everything back in its proper place, Peter turned to you with an outstretched hand. You took it without hesitation.

"C'mon," He said, not giving you a chance to pull away when he grabbed two sets of keys by the hooks on the door whilst dragging you with him.

"Where are we going?" You asked as the two of you descended down one of the fire exits.

Peter kept quiet and a few moments later of you trying to keep up with him, you ended up in the apartment complex's parking space. He fished out one of the keys in his pocket, pressed on it, and one of the car's headlights blinked on.

"Does May know about this?" You said to Peter as you noticed the neck pillow on the driver's seat with an embroidered M.

"No, but she won't mind," Peter shrugged and opened the car door for you. "I hope."

"What do you mean you hope-?" Peter cut you off by closing the door shut and you huffed, not wanting Peter getting into trouble with his Aunt.

"Calm down, baby." Peter said with a wink as he slid into the driver's seat.

"Now you're just using that to your advantage," You huffed again, stiffening at Peter leaning over you to strap your seat belt on.

"You've been doing so much school work," Peter replied as he started putting the keys into the engine. "You deserve to relax."

Even though you granted yourself the same sentiment earlier, the thought of the decathlon competition arriving so soon wouldn't allow you to take a breather.

"And I did," You started as Peter backed the car. "I had fun watching your favorite movie and if you're not taking me home then stop this vehicle."

You felt guilty for your words but the guilt for not doing your best regarding decathlon was even stronger. You couldn't let anyone down again. If not your teammates, then yourself.

You turned to look at Peter slowly, scared to see if he was scowling, but it was the complete opposite. He had this optimistic gleam in his eye and a tiny smile on his pink lips.

"Just thirty minutes at the place, please, then I promise I'll drive you home," He pleaded. "I'll quiz you on the way and on the drive back if that helps."

"That's actually-" You slumped back in your seat. "That's actually really smart."

True to his word, Peter racked his brain for any common, old, and difficult decathlon question. You got them right every time. You told Peter to stop the practice after he called you good girl. You weren't sure if your breathing evened out after that.

There was still a ten-minute drive left before the destination so Peter suggested you plug your phone in and play your music.

"Is Taylor Swift okay?" You asked, pulling up the music app on your phone.

"For any and every occasion," Peter said with a cheeky grin.

You and Peter were singing along to the music as the city passed by in a blur. You laid your head on the window and closed your eyes, voice starting to get quieter and letting Peter's echo in the car. He had a very lovely voice. Your heart swelled at the thought that no boy has ever sung along to cheesy love songs with you and here was Peter, doing it while on the way to taking you to a special place.

"We're here," Peter said and you felt the car stop.

You could tell where you were, it being a popular park in Queens. You've been here once or twice in passing with some friends. With the moon high in the sky, it was difficult to marvel in the beauty of the place, but with the help of a few trusty street lamps, you could see the autumn leaves on the ground and spot the lake in the distance.

"I figured it was the nearest place but it's already closed," Peter started saying, a hint of disappointment in his tone, "I thought we could open the backseat and stuff."

You stepped out of the car before Peter the gentleman could protest, and you held your breath in awe. It was perfect, no matter if the actual park grounds were closed. The car was parked underneath a huge tree that sprouted red-orange leaves. You breathed in the cool air and felt a gust of wind slightly pick up your hair.

As you took in the wonderful feeling of the cold, you didn't notice Peter had stepped out of the car and made his way to you.

"You're going to get sick," He warned, but adding a playful squeeze on your nose as a sign of his affection. "C'mon, there's blankets."

You followed Peter and he opened the trunk, and lo and behold, there were piles of blankets scattered in the back of the car. It was a variety of wool, quilts, and homemade knits. Peter grabbed a pile in his hands and let you sit down first before he situated himself next to you.

He took a smaller cotton blanket and draped it over your shoulders. You didn't even notice that you left your jacket in his house. As Peter was untangling one of his old hoodies that got mixed with a knitted blanket, you wordlessly leaned your head on his shoulder. Peter stopped muttering his little curses at the tangled material and relaxed at your warmth.

Peter draped a bigger, fuzzier blanket on top of both his and your legs before he settled down by your side. Underneath the blanket, you reached for his left hand and laced them together. His fingertips were calloused but his hand was smooth overall. Save for a scar you could feel by his knuckles. You knew there's a story behind it and you will ask when the time is right, not if Peter beats you to it and tells you. For now, this was enough.

It was silent, only the faint sounds of the city you call home echoing in a few minute intervals. In the dim light, you could make out the faint fogs of your breaths swirl in the cold October air. It was silent, but it was home. You didn't mind letting the autumn leaves falling into place fill the quiet. Peter seemed utterly at ease too based on the steady rise and fall of his chest.

You could feel Peter start to trace the back of your hand with his thumb, like he always does. You sunk in further into his chest and even though the clock struck past thirty minutes, you stayed.

The serene moment was broken when Peter's phone started ringing. You caught a glimpse and saw the name Happy Hogan on the caller ID.

It was obvious that Peter wasn't expecting the call by the furrow of his eyebrows.

"Hello?"

Peter still had his arm around you as he listened to Happy talk. You could make out some muffled words by your close proximity and you were happy that Peter trusted you like this. You remember how unpleasant it was to be ushered out of the room for a curt one minute call.

"Shit, okay, I'll be back quickly." Peter's words caught you off guard and your mind immediately went to thinking that May had gotten into a bad situation.

"What's wrong? Is May alright?" You asked, scrambling to fold the blankets properly.

"No," Peter sighed and he immediately sensed your panic. "No! I mean, she's alright. Just.. mad?"

"Oh no," You weren't daft. "When you basically kidnapped me I thought your Aunt May knew that you were taking her car!"

"I didn't kidnap you," Peter rolled his eyes. "You went with your boyfriend who, well technically, I kid—carjacked the car."

"Oh no," You repeated. "This is gonna be my first time meeting your family and I'm already disappointing them!"

Peter turned to you and clutched your shoulders in a soft grasp, "May's just going to lecture me, it's okay. She's gonna love you."

You weren't convinced but considering how much of a sweetheart Aunt May sounded in Peter's stories, you had to give the benefit of the doubt.

The car ride was silent and you knew that it was making Peter anxious. You plugged in your phone once more and put on the Lover album to uplift the mood.

"Pete?" You finally spoke after minutes of fidgeting with your fingers.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I said you kidnapped me. You just wanted to make me feel better and you did. You really did," You rambled. "Thank you for tonight."

Peter hit the brakes as the light turned red and then turned in his seat to look at you. He glowed, even if it was simply underneath the city lights.

"No need to apologize, I knew you were only joking," Peter assured you with a quick peck to your cheek. "I'm glad you had fun."

"I did," You bit your lip. "Even though we are now heading into impending doom."

Peter laughed as he stepped on the gas, "May doesn't know that you're with me. She just thinks I took the car on my own, so again, don't you worry your pretty little head; she'll love you."

You gasped, "So I'm an accomplice to a crime?"

"And will be asked to testify." Peter finished, running along with your joking nature.

The atmosphere in the car seemed lighter, even though you were still nervous. This wasn't your ideal first time meeting with Peter's Aunt May but there's no turning back. You could only put on a brave face and hope that she'll like you for who you are and most importantly for her nephew.

The familiar facade of Peter's apartment complex came into view and you gulped. Peter placed his hand on your thigh and when you didn't push it away, he kept it there as some way to keep you relaxed.

It took you a few minutes to finally remove your seatbelt even after Peter has finished parking the car.

"Ready?" Peter asked, hands immediately finding yours as you stepped out of the car.

"No." Was all you could say and you clung to Peter's adorable laughter as if it could steady your uneasiness.

Peter pressed the button of his floor number and luckily you were the only ones in the elevator. He pressed a kiss on your temple as the metal box started its ascent.

"Still not ready." You piped in as you arrived on his floor.

Your boyfriend was unable to respond when the door swung open to a red-faced May Parker.

"Peter Benjamin!" She started. "I cannot believe you-- haven't introduced the lovely Y/N to me."

Peter chuckled at how May was startled by your presence and how quickly she shut off her sermon mode. You elbowed his side before you reached your hand out.

"Me too, Mrs. Parker. It's nice to finally meet you," You said as you shook hands. "Peter has some groveling to do."

"Oh, he definitely does," She glared at him but you could see that she wasn't fully mad at her nephew. Not now, at least. "And you can call me May, sweetheart. Come in."

"I would love to, Mrs- May, but I have to get home or my parents will kill me." You wanted nothing more than to stay and chat with the lovely woman but it was getting late into the night.

"But your stuff's inside, baby," Peter reminded you. "We'll get them and I'll bring you home, is that okay?"

You nodded and followed both of the Parker's inside their home. May headed for the kitchen and you saw that a man was sitting by one of the dining table chairs.

"Is that--"

"Yep, that's Happy. Here," Peter handed you your tote bag and jacket before calling out to the couple in the kitchen, "I'm bringing Y/N home! Don't worry I won't be driving, we'll be walking."

"Don't get us jumped." You snickered.

"Never with Peter, trust me," May chimed in. She handed you a tumbler. "Some tea to keep you warm. Peter told me that's your favorite."

You turned to look at Peter with your wide-eyed gaze, pure adoration oozing from your heart. He has your favorite tea at his place? In his home?

"Thank you, May," You gratefully accepted the container from her.

Peter placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out towards the door. He said goodbye to May and Happy before he completely turned to you.

Under the fluorescent lights of the hallway, he still managed to have that glint in his eyes that made your heart speed up. You suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, Pete?" You called out.

He hummed in response so you continued after taking a deep breath, "Do you want to go to Flash's Halloween party with me?"

"He's still doing that?" Peter asked, no hint of malice in his voice and just pure curiosity that made you laugh.

"Yeah, he is," You shrugged. "Not even Spider-man rejecting him could crush his Halloween spirit."

Peter only smiled at that, "I'd love to go with you."

It felt as if the unspoken question lingered in the air and you just had to let it out, "I know it's super cliché but would you.. want to-- uhm-"

Peter found it adorable that this time it was you who was tripping over their words. You were still trying to string together a proper sentence when he cupped your cheeks to shush you from your rambling.

"Matching costume?" He asked and all you could do was nod. Peter gave your cheeks a squeeze and he giggled at the sight, "Again, I'd love to."

The walk back to your place consisted of you and Peter brainstorming for ideas, yet always falling short. Some were too cliché, while others were a little difficult and expensive to put together. It was safe to say you were sleepy when you finally arrived home. A little tired, but the day you had took a complete turn for the better. Peter made it better.

+

"What's with the pout?" May chuckled as she placed the freshly baked cookies on your respective plates.

The night Peter walked you back from his place, May texted him, asking when you're free. She said that she wants to get to know you better and it hit you like a freight train; the Parker's were accepting you with open arms. You can't say the same about the family of your ex-boyfriend.

You and Peter decided to let the remaining school days pass and have you come over during the weekend.

"We don't know what to wear for Halloween," You said, starting to laugh at the frustrated look on Peter's face.

"Easy," May shrugged. "Go as Spider-Man."

Your eyes widened and you could see Peter and May's faces do the same. You didn't know Peter was a Spider-man fanatic. Oh how delightful, you thought. This will either fully bond Flash and him together or go back to square one over some machismo pride.

"May!" Peter exclaimed, expression morphing between alarmed and fearful.

"I didn't know you were a fan of Spider-man, Petey." You cooed and some of the tension managed to visibly leave him.

"No-I— May, this is your fault," Peter sighed. "Besides, we're going as a couple. If I go as him then who would Y/N be?"

As a couple made your heart skip a beat.

"Yeah and Flash will have your head," You piped in. Peter gave you a "not helping" look.

May hummed to herself in thought, bringing a finger up to her chin.

"How about you two watch movies or, I don't know, look at clothes then see if inspiration strikes." Oh, so every Parker is just a genius huh?

"That's a good idea!" You beamed, unaware of Peter's loving gaze on your face. "I've been wanting to go to some thrift shops. If that's okay?"

Peter sat up straighter when you turned to him and as always, resembled an adorable puppy with his wide-eyed gaze. He nodded and squeezed your hand under the table to let you know that he wanted the same thing.

Turns out, you didn't need to wait for another day for your plans. May had left to meet with Happy, which Peter had made funny faux gag noises to since technically the boyfriend was his boss. There was still a few hours before the sun goes down and you and Peter took the opportunity to head to a few nearby thrift shops local to Queens.

It was as if you were in a movie montage, haphazardly throwing on different top hats, that looked clean of course, and goofing around with the random pieces of clothing.

Peter had gone down to the men's section on the other side of the store, waiting for quote on quote, inspiration, to strike.

You were doing the same, arms getting tired from moving mostly heavy jackets around to get a glimpse at some piece that you think would make a good Halloween costume.

The store was playing Taylor Swift, much to your delight, and your head was in the music, your feet just moving on their own to bring you to pieces of clothing that caught your attention.

As you hummed to the familiar tune of Dress, the universe managed to play a trick on you once more and had you gaping at a beautiful blue dress.

A character idea immediately popped up in your head as if a light bulb had lit. The dress was mostly baby blue, with faint white lace embroidery to give it more texture. The half sleeves and waist belt were in dark navy blue silk to add more dimension and color. You plucked the dress from where it was situated by the hanger.

You took a few steps to step in front of a floor-length mirror. You placed the dress over your figure and you smiled as it looked like it would be a perfect fit. Its hem was by your ankles and you grabbed the skirt to give a little swish. It was perfect.

A simple half-up, half-down hairdo would work and finding a hair bow that matched the blue of the dress would be easy. It was your first time getting to pick what you'd do for a couples costume and you just hoped Peter would like the idea.

"Darling."

You clutched the dress tighter in surprise as Peter's voice came out of nowhere.

"What?" You asked, letting out a breath that got stuck in your throat when you were taken off guard.

Peter always claimed to be mediocre at all things P.E but every single time, he manages to contradict himself with his agility and reflexes.

You held your breath in anticipation as Peter's eyes flickered from the dress in your hands and then back to your face. He had a knowing smile on his face and you saw it even more up close as Peter only stopped approaching when your faces were nearly touching.

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear and stayed silent for a few moments. His eyes tracing your features as if it was such an interesting painting.

"Wendy Darling," Peter said. "I love it."

Your nose scrunched up in glee. You would never get tired of how much you and Peter had this way of knowing the other's thoughts so well. It applied to everything from such bizarre Halloween ideas and to secrets.

"Really?" You whispered, Peter's face still close to you. "You don't think it's cliché, Peter P?"

"I think it's brilliant," Peter whispered back, one hand now cupping your cheek. "You're brilliant."

"I would hope so, I do go to the top science school in New—"

Your words were interrupted with Peter pressing his lips to yours. The kiss had the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy.

"I will need your help though because green is not my color." Peter said, breathless in between kisses.

You pulled back to let out a laugh, "How do you feel about tights?"

"Eh, I'm more of a spandex guy." Peter joked before pulling you back in for another heart-stopping kiss.

"Will pants be okay?" Peter asked as he pulled away, "I saw a nice green pair over there."

"Pants are perfect," You chuckled, keeping Peter's face close to yours as you cupped his cheeks. "It's the hat we really need to perfect."

"May can handle that just fine," Was the last comment from your boyfriend before he pulled you back in.

+

The tables have been turned and now it was Cindy you were trying to comfort about decathlon. You were studying in the library when she received the news that her parents were going to attend the event next month and it had her stressing out in the past ten minutes.

"Deep breaths in, Cin, okay?" You stroked her hair as she laid her upper body across your lap. "Here, I'll do it with you."

You inhaled and exhaled to demonstrate and after a few times, Cindy had finally managed to calm down and sit up again. She grabbed her water bottle and took long gulps.

"Flash's booze tomorrow better be good." Cindy said.

You were suddenly struck with the realization that Halloween is tomorrow. With the end of October nearing, Mr. Harrington and MJ had everyone working double time. You sneaked in online shopping for your accessories when you had the free time to do it, and so did Peter. You got the blue dress from the thrift shop while Peter bought the pair of forest green denim pants that were in good condition. You protested against him making May make his little props but it was a futile attempt when the lady herself said she was already working on it during the one Saturday you were at the Parker household.

"What are you wearing for tomorrow?" You asked, attempting to clear Cindy's mind of the pressure from her parents.

"It's unfair since you won't tell me yours," She pouted as she grabbed her backpack that was seated on another chair. "But guess."

Cindy placed a tube of red lipstick, heart shaped sunglasses, and a pair of clip on bangs that matched her dark hair color. You gasped; it wasn't difficult to tell what the items meant.

"It's too good to pass up! I mean I already have the lipstick and shades, but also I know you saw her announcement about the tracklist!" Cindy gushed. "Honestly just put this together after seeing it."

You grinned, glad that your best friend took your suggestion to heart. The rest of the hour went by with you two talking about what re-recorded song you're most excited to hear. You really should've picked up your index cards again, but it almost felt like an unspoken agreement between you and Cindy that you'd grant yourself a little time to indulge.

Turns out, Peter was a lot more cheesy than you were. He suggested that you shouldn't see each other's costumes until he picked you up to go to Flash's house. Luckily this time, May let him use her car with permission.

You were making sure that nothing was out of its place, the blue ribbon in your hair, the lipgloss Peter said he really likes, and that all your necessities where in your white lace purse, when a knock came. You pulled open the door to see Peter.

You bit your lip to stop from grinning but ultimately failed. He looked adorable. With the plain green shirt with the little cuts by the sleeves which you could tell was a do it yourself job, the familiar pants held by a thick brown belt on the loops, and brown loafers. Peter's costume looked wearable but that's not what truly caught your attention. It was that his usual poofy set of curls were down, almost giving him bangs, and a cute triangular hat, that looked a little small for a teenage boy like him, was on his head.

"You're so cute, Peter." You finally let out and he sighed in relief for a moment before groaning.

"May kept saying that," Peter grumbled, but his pout dissappeared when you gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "You look beautiful, Wendy."

Your cheeks warmed at his words and you stepped out of your apartment as to not be late. But considering it was a high school party, it wouldn't really matter.

You noticed that neither of you had a jacket, but Peter didn't seem to be bothered by the cold. He immediately turned on the heating in the car though. This time, you let the local radio station fill the car with Halloween tunes and you were having the time of your life mimicking monster voices with Peter. You were already on a high without even having to consume anything. You were going to allow yourself to drink a little bit just to let loose, you deserved it after the grueling weeks of study and practice.

As if reading your mind, Peter reached over the console to grab your hand, "Are you going to drink tonight?"

"I-well.." You fumbled. "I wanted to? But I don't want to hold you back or anything so if you need me to be sober I will, but I am a bad driver so-"

"Y/N, it's fine! You don't need to ask me permission for those kinds of things, okay?" You knew what Peter was talking about. "And don't worry about me. I have a really high tolerance."

Flash's house was already blaring with music but you knew it still wasn't jampacked. Multicolored lights were seeping through the open windows and you could feel the faint bass of the music pounding in your chest. The exterior was decorated with pumpkins in different sizes, typical fake cobwebs strewn over the windows, and on its walls were different masks from famous horror movies.

Some other people looked unrecognizable in their costume, but others you made out to be your schoolmates. You saw Jason first by the patio, donning an all black outfit with his hair spiked and as you approached, you could see some fake blood by his lip and temple.

"Jason!" You called out as Peter followed behind you.

He looked taken aback when he first spotted you but his lips curled into a smile, "Why, greetings and salutations, Wendy and Peter. Very clever."

"Thank you," You smiled back. "Which Jason are you this year?"

Every Halloween, Jason showed up as a famous person or character with the same name as him. Last year he was Voorhees, the previous one before that was Bourne.

"I cannot believe you didn't catch my reference," He placed his hand over his chest. "I'm Jason Dean!"

"Oh!" You laughed as you finally saw the reason to the all black ensemble. "I don't know if you should find yourself a Veronica though. Not safe these days."

Jason just laughed and patted Peter by the shoulders, "You got yourself a clever one, Pan."

Peter blushed and you knew it was because he still had the tendency to get shy around your friends. As himself, no problem, but as your boyfriend? It was obvious he was still nervous despite hanging out at lunch almost every day.

You made your way inside the house and by the music alone, you could tell that Flash hasn't taken up the position of DJ just yet. Your suspicions were confirmed when you saw him by one of the tables that had many bowls that held different types of candies. It wasn't hard to spot him either.

"Hey, that's my boss." Peter whispered in your ear, making you laugh.

"Mr. Stark! It is such an honor to meet you." You said as you tapped Flash's red metal-clad shoulders.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Your friend rolled his eyes as he shooed away an obviously drunk boy away from the table, "I swear to god, William, if you throw up on this table again, I will end you!"

“I thought you were done with Spider-man?” Peter asked as Flash finally turned towards your direction.

“Isn’t it obvious that I’m not him?” Flash sassed, gesturing to the glowing thing by his chest.

“You’re dressed like his boss,” Peter shrugged.

“Whatever, Parker,” Flash paused. “Or should I call you Pan? Nice costume by the way. Though Y/N is the one carrying for the two of you.”

“Oh, hush,” You playfully punched Flash by his arm, which you immediately regret because of the ‘armor’ he was wearing. “Drinks?”

“Kitchen, as usual. You might find a Cindy Moon there too.”

“Oh no.” Was all you could say before you grabbed Peter’s hand and marched straight towards the kitchen.

Concern for your best friend was all you could think of in the moment. It was if every minute, a bunch of new people arrive at the house and soon enough the entrance to the wide kitchen was blocked. You grumbled under your breath but before you could even lift a finger, Peter nudged an obviously intoxicated teen out of the way to make some space. You recognized the person as one of the jocks at school and your eyes widened as you looked back and forth between the bulky boy and your boyfriend. Peter never ceases to surprise you.

It wasn’t hard to spot your friend, as she was the only one in the room in a hat, but also her ensemble was familiar to you. White shirt, dark high-waisted shorts, and a fedora hat.

“Cin!” You called out through the loud music. Oh, Flash was definitely DJ-ing now.

“Y/N!” She gasped out loud as she made her way towards you. “And Peter! Oh my god, I forgive you now for not telling me your costumes. You two are so cute!”

You and Peter only looked at each other in concern as Cindy pinched your cheek with one hand and she pinched Peter’s with the other.

“Are you drunk already?” You asked once she let go.

Cindy scoffed before smiling, “No. Fine, one shot only. But that’s because I was waiting for you!”

Your eyes widened when you remembered that yesterday in the library, you talked about wanting to let (a little) loose at the party.

“You don’t mind if I steal your girlfriend for a while, Peter Pan?” Cindy asked as she looped her arm with yours. “Actually, none of that, she’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need permission!”

You were surprised by Cindy’s strength as she dragged you towards the kitchen counter. As you looked back at Peter, who only had an approving smile on his face, you remembered that this was the exact place that probably started, well, everything. The last time you were tipsy was during the whole red application fiasco when you have just rejected the other boys who thought would get a chance with you. Now, you were planning to have fun instead of worrying about who would volunteer to break your heart.

Peter was watching you down your first shot of the night when Ned and MJ approached him. Ned nodded in understanding when Peter took a step back when he saw MJ in a pale cream floor-length dress, short white gloves on her hands, and her natural curls peaking through the low messy bun.

She let him gawk in confusion for a second before shrugging, “Anya Taylor Joy, man.”

Peter then looked at Ned in his attire. “I like the bat.”

“Knew it. Wanna be the Dustin to this Steve? You both have curly hair,” Ned joked with a wink. He was the only one who knew what you and Peter were dressing up as for Halloween and he was so delighted for the couple that he let go of the idea of Peter dressing up as Dustin Henderson.

Though, what they both decided on mutually was that they’d retire from Star Wars costumes (for now) since they’ve done it for the past years.

It wasn’t long until you felt the room start to spin. Cindy’s a very persuasive girl and you were a good friend who wouldn’t let her try nearly every drink on the table without supervision. Well technically, since you were also drinking, the responsibility of supervision was thrust into your boyfriend’s hands.

“Have one!” You shoved a red solo cup into Peter’s hands. “You said you have a high tolerance, prove it, Petey!”

Peter took the cup from you, without any intention of drinking its content, just so you wouldn’t trip over and spill liquid onto the floor, creating a hazard. You were slurring your words, mixed in with high-pitched giggles and little hiccups in between.

“I still have to drive us home, Y/N,” He reminded you, despite the fact that you didn’t know that no alcoholic drink would affect him.

“Hmph,” You pouted and crossed your arms, making an adorable view for Peter. “Fine, let’s dance!”

You dragged Peter away to the living room before he could even protest. The mirrorball hung in the ceiling reflecting the multicolored lights set an ache in Peter’s temple but he powered through it as he felt you lifting his arms in an attempt to dance.

Deciding to say screw it, Peter gulped down the drink you gave him. He thought back to the times you ranted to him about school works and how this party was the perfect opportunity to enjoy your youth. You were right; that tonight was the night to forget about responsibilities and deadlines.

The vodka burned as it ran down his throat, but it still didn’t have any effect whatsoever. Thankfully, Flash was passing by and surprisingly, gave Peter one of the cups he had in his hands. Peter downed it in a second. This specific drink was a little stronger, but again, not enough. It did help numb some of his senses to make the flashing lights and loud music a bit more tolerable so Peter decided that was his last drink for the night.

Your warm body pressing into him snapped Peter out of his thoughts about his spidey senses. From this close proximity, your vanilla scent wafted in Peter’s nose, and he immediately decided that you were more intoxicating than Asgardian mead; the only alcohol strong enough to give him a hangover.

The upbeat music seemed to energize you as it played, and Peter’s hands found home on your hips. He followed how you frantically swayed to the beat and you pulled him in even closer if it were possible. Your hot breath over his lips made sweat gather in his hairline.

Peter’s strong shoulders underneath your palms sent a flurry of unholy thoughts in your head, but you still had reservations despite the liquor taking its effect on your mind. The strawberry flush on his freckled cheeks wasn’t helping either, especially since you knew that it was your fault for its appearance.

“Y-Y/N?” He breathed over your gloss-coated lips. You had applied a layer earlier before you dragged him to the dancefloor. It was a deeper red color, far from your usual pink, and you had a feeling that you would like it better on Peter’s face.

Peter’s a usually confident boy. It gave you a feeling of pride to know that you had the ability to render him speechless. Peter was almost always flustered around your presence, but it was every time you were on the verge of a heated kiss that he was left to little words.

Sober, it would take you too much time to gather the courage to do what you were about to. You leaned in even closer and took Peter’s bottom lip between your teeth. You could hear his breath hitch and your interlaced hands behind his neck separated a little so that they could trace the nape of his neck and up his hair.

You had no intention of going all the way tonight, or even soon, but you wouldn’t deny that you enjoyed making out with the pretty boy who was starting to melt like putty under your hands.

You felt one of Peter’s hands settle on your waist, the other still on your hip. You both have stopped dancing and stood your ground when somebody slightly bumped into you. It was your turn to hold your breath when Peter captured your lips in a kiss. The strong grip he had on your body made you let out a nearly inaudible moan, but of course, Peter heard it and the boy seized the opportunity to run his tongue on your bottom lip before you granted him entrance.

The alcohol in your system amplified the want you felt for Peter. Yet, in an indescribable way, you were somehow sobered by the way his hands clung to you. You felt like floating because of the intense way he was kissing you but the little pants escaping his lips when you pulled away for a split second to breathe had grounded you to this earth. This reality that had pulled your forces together despite the troubles that haunted your past. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

You heard a whistle in the near distance. The two of you pulled away to see Cindy clapping maniacally and MJ next to her. Your blurry eyes didn’t miss the hand she had on Cindy’s forearm to stop her from falling face-first on the floor.

“Damn, Wendy and Peter! Keep it PG,” MJ teased with a smirk.

Cindy elbowed MJ’s side a few times as she chuckled and swayed, “Let’s leave them be. They’re about to make some lost boys.”

In your drunken haze, you completely missed the insinuation and ignored it. You cupped Peter’s cheek to look back at you once your friends left. He was blushing again.

“This place is too crowded,” You whispered, forehead touching Peter’s.

“Too many cool kids,” He snickered.

His laughter at his own pun was cut short when you gently grasped the back of his head and pulled him into another breathtaking kiss, “God, Peter Benjamin Parker, you don’t know how bad I want you right now.”

You heard him gulp before removing your hands from behind his head to interlace your fingers together. This time, it was Peter pulling you away from the crowded scene and towards the kitchen.

Deja vu has hit and you started to giggle out loud. Peter turned to look at you as he grabbed a cup to fill it up with water. To fuel your own amusement, you found an empty spot on the counter and sat up on it.

“Thank you,” You said as Peter handed you the cup, “Looks familiar, no?”

You expected Peter’s brows to furrow in confusion, but he only nodded, a tiny smile playing on his lips. You giggled again.

“Ooooh, you wanted to kiss me so bad that night,” You wiggled your eyebrows as you looked at Peter over the rim of the cup.

Peter was just letting you ramble, his heart swelling when you admitted that you did in fact wanted to kiss him that night after the beer pong game. Except, this time, circumstances are sweeter and kinder to the both of you. Your paths had intertwined to lead to this and none of you were complaining.

“And I so want to kiss you a lot tonight,” Peter mimicked the teasing lilt in your voice.

“Then what’s stopping you?” You said as you jumped off the marble surface, with Peter’s assistance. “Let’s get out of here.”

Peter knew that he was sober and perfectly capable to drive the both of you home, but he still gulped down a glass of water just to make sure.

As the two of you slinked your way towards the front door, Peter halted in his steps when realization struck him, “Wait, did you mean get out of the kitchen or the actual house?”

“The house, silly. You said May wasn’t home, right?” You asked in a sweet voice and continued to walk towards the car as if your words didn’t leave Peter swallowing his nervousness.

The drive back to the Parkers didn’t take long, but every few minutes or so, Peter had to pull you back in your seat whenever you attempted to stick your head out the window. It was New York City, an innocent act like that isn’t safe with the possibilities of bad people around.

By the time Peter parked, most of your dizziness had gone away and you were able to walk properly. You didn’t stop Peter from wrapping his arm around your waist, though.

You could feel the tension when you two arrived in the apartment, the absence of May was obviously freaking Peter out and you could feel it from where you were standing next to him.

“We don’t have to do anything,” You were unsure if your words relieved or disappointed Peter.

“I know, and you’re drunk. I would never take advantage of you or anyone like that.” Peter said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

Your shoulders sagged before you could conceal the dismay in your still hazy brain.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

You flushed at the pet name and even though you couldn’t meet Peter’s eyes, you still managed to speak. “It’s- I- I just wanted to- uhm.. cuddle?”

Peter didn’t say anything for a second so you rambled, “I really liked it when we did last time but Ned was around and I have never been to your room before so it’s fine if you don’t want to-”

“Anything for my Wendy.” Peter interrupted, with a soft, gentle boop to your nose.

Even though you weren’t going to do anything, you still felt nervous as you followed Peter into his room. It would be your first time in there and the prospect of being on Peter’s bed sped up the thumping of your heartbeat.

“Here we are,” Peter said in a shy voice. “Sorry for the mess.”

You didn’t reply and instead, looked around. It was not spotless, it is a teenager’s bedroom after all, but the way it looked was a perfect reflection of the boy that resided in it. Star Wars posters on the wall, notebooks and pens scattered on the desk, and some socks in one corner.

“Are you kidding? It’s so.. you.” You turned around to look at Peter with a smile. The nervous frown on his lips faded away at the sight of it.

“Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Peter asked as you stepped forward.

“A very good thing.” You whispered before attaching your lips to his.

Peter pulled away and wiped a stray smudge of mascara by the corner of your eye, “Do you- want to-uh- stay the night?”

“I would love nothing more.” You grinned and approached the foot of his bed. You looked at Peter and he nodded, giving you silent permission that you were allowed to sit on it.

The moment your butt hit the soft mattress, you were done for. Initially, you planned to just sit down first out of decency, but it was as if tiredness hit you all at once, resulting in you laying down on the sheets. Everything smelled like Peter, the sweet honeysuckle mixed with his natural musk, and the detergent you assumed May favored.

“Do you want to change?” Your sleepy eyes flung open when Peter spoke. “You can borrow my clothes but, shit, that sounds creepy, uhm-”

“Yes, please.” It was as if calming the other person down from rambling was yours and Peter’s thing.

“Can I choose?” You giddily said as you stood up. Sober you would chastise yourself for being so demanding, but Peter was a boy willing to say yes to anything his girlfriend asks him for.

Peter helped you up and held you steady as you crouched down to view his t-shirts that were on the bottom half of the drawer. You were humming as if you were in the grocery store picking out which apples looked best. Peter was just looking at you in admiration.

“This one!” You exclaimed, pulling out a soft, gray t-shirt that you saw Peter wear a few times at school. It had a corny science pun on it, which is why you picked it out.

Your clumsy state had accidentally pulled out some other pieces of clothing in the drawer but you assumed that Peter was tired so he let it be.

He let you in his bathroom and you got dressed in the shirt and some of Peter’s old sweats. The alcohol in your system overpowered the anxiousness and you were quick to settle into Peter’s arms.

You would have loved to stay up and talk about anything and everything that comes to mind because you know that Peter would never judge you for that. In fact, he would join you too. But you were worn out, so you let Peter, your favorite ball of energy, do the talking, lulling you to sleep as if the multiversal theory was a bedtime story.

You fell asleep in the comfort of your lover’s arms with him on your mind. And the sight of a familiar scarf you vividly remember giving to somebody that wasn't Peter, falling out of the drawer.

+

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[thekidsarentalright]

thoughts on the believers never die exclusive tracks? both volumes! how do you feel like they tie into the adjacent albums and such

ooo this is a very interesting open ended question, thank u for asking!!! sorry it took a bit to answer fhskjfs my thoughts are all under the read more! <3

so, for both volumes there's this interesting kinda theme of the exclusive tracks almost All being songs that had been released prior, but didn't really belong on an album? Every song except bob dylan on volume 2 and from now on we are enemies had Some version of it already in existence (like, though ik alpha dog isn't Technically an exclusive track i'm gonna act like it is bc honestly idk why it wasn't lmaoo but, It had just a demo on the welcome to the new administration mixtape), and that got me thinking that it's almost like these songs provide a past, present, & future look at fob's music, in a way? as volume one proved itself to be a kinda book end to the first era of fob, the greatest hits album was meant to encapsulate the entire era... and maybe, accidentally ofc, provide a look ahead. And so far, seems like volume two is following in volume one's footsteps (as being a kinda bookend for an era, not like before bc they Aren't on a hiatus, but maybe a musical bookend so to speak).

So, to show a little more what i mean, take the tracks from bnd vol 1: you've got growing up, a song that was on both their first ever ep in 2002, project rocket, as Well as being on eowyg, And now this too. Alpha dog was obviously very recently made for it to have been on the welcome to the new admin. mixtape, and then you have from now on we are enemies, which hadn't been previously released (to my knowledge). To me, these three songs all tie into the adjacent albums and that past, present, future thing w/ growing up representing the Past, where they grew from, alpha dog representing the Now, and from now on we are enemies being the future. I think both thematically those songs fit that, for growing up is Very immature, early fob, while alpha dog is a song all about the stresses of fame, and from now on we are enemies is pretty much about the band and their own inner turmoil and relationships. Sonically too, however, i feel these fit- growing up is more that raw pop Punk sound, alpha dog is a lot more experimental like folie was, and though from now on we are enemies is similarly experimental, i also think it leans more into pop Rock in an interesting (almost srar esc 👀) way!

and though bnd volume 2 follows this theme Pretty nicely! (tho apparently dear future self and bob dylan aren't even technically exclusive tracks??? but ik those are the songs u meant so i'm talking about them. also lake effect kid is only on the japanese version but we're still talking about it shh) Cause you've got lake effect kid (in japan at least), bob dylan and dear future self. Lake effect kid, as we all know, was released for the welcome to the new admin. mixtape as a demo and then finished Years later, bob dylan was meant for ab/ap but was scrapped, and dear future self was an entirely new song. Past (lake effect kid), present (bob dylan), and future (dear future self). I've said this before, i very firmly believe that dear future self/super fade/city in a garden is the sonic future of fob, while bob dylan has the more ab/ap (obviously) and mania sound of pop rock, and lake effect kid Though updated very much in its production ofc, has the mark of pre-h fob. This is all me just like... theorizing and analyzing obviously, not at all saying this is what they intended At All, but i find it just very interesting how all the bonus tracks seem to fit into all their different eras and sounds so nicely, especially since they're at the end of both volumes, the tie together the sounds of the Past album(s), current/most recent album, as well as the next album (or next possible album in volume 2′s case), which is just really really cool to me!

[rainybluebirdflower]

"Blinded by the Light" is a song written and recorded by Bruce Springsteen, which first appeared on his 1973 debut album Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. A cover by British rock band Manfred Mann's Earth Band reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100 in the United States in February 1977 and was also a top ten hit in the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and Canada. Asked about the meaning of the song, he told VH1's Storytellers: “One version is about a car, the other is about a feminine hygiene product. Guess which the kids liked to shout more?”

Manfred Mann's Earth Band's recording of the song changes the lyrics. The most prominent change is in the chorus, where Springsteen's "cut loose like a deuce" is replaced with "revved up like a deuce." The lyric is a reference to the 1932 V8-powered Ford automobile, which enthusiasts dubbed the "deuce coupe". Springsteen was fond of classic hot rods in his youth, hence the line "cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night". As the line is frequently misheard as "wrapped up like a douche", Springsteen has joked about confusion over the lyrics, claiming that it was not until Manfred Mann rewrote the song to be about a feminine hygiene product that it became popular.

According to Manfred Mann, it was the idea of drummer Chris Slade to use the chords of "Chopsticks" (the tune had at that point already been integrated into the arrangement) as a transition between song parts. The "deuce"/"douche" confusion stems from technical problems (which can be confirmed by comparing to live recordings).

"I don't think Springsteen liked our Blinded by the Light, 'cos we sang 'wrapped up like a douche', and it wasn't written like that and I screwed it up completely. It sounded like 'douche' instead of 'deuce', 'cos of the technical process – a faulty azimuth due to tape-head angles, and it meant we couldn't remix it."

Warners in America said, 'You've got to change 'douche', 'cos the Southern Bible belt radio stations think it's about a vaginal douche, and they have problems with body parts down there.' We tried to change it to 'deuce' but then the rest of the track sounded horrible, so we had to leave it. We just said, 'If it's not a hit, it's not.'

But in the end, it was No.1 in America, and so many people came up to us after and said, 'You know why it made No. 1?... Everyone was talking about whether it was deuce or douche.' Apparently, Springsteen thought we'd done it deliberately, which we hadn't, so if I ever saw him I'd avoid him and cringe away like a frightened little boy." — Manfred Mann, Record Collector interview (August 2006).

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 6 Episode 1 Recap: Group A Premiere Baby!! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello everybody and welcome or welcome back to Ana's Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. The time we have been waiting for is here, the season 6 premiere (ooh that rhymes)! If you don't know how these recaps work, pretty much I talk about the reveals first (major spoiler alert by the way ⚠️) and then get into the remaining contestants, what I thought about their performances, guesses to who I think it could be with the clues to back it up the best I can. Anyways, having said that, let's get started with the 1st recap of season 6 (which is covering the Wednesday episode, Thursday's will be covered separately):

In this episode, Group A performed which consisted of Bull 🐂, Skunk 🦨, Octopus 🐙, Pufferfish 🐡, and Mother Nature 🌬 and 2 of them were eliminated, but only one was revealed this episode, damn cliffhangers, and that mask was:

Octopus 🐙

Performance Commentary: I was honestly so sad to see him go this early in the season, because I really enjoyed his performance of Tutti Frutti by Little Richard. He probably wasn't the most technical singer but for (spoiler) a non singer he did pretty great! I would buy his album.

Having said that, he was revealed to be:

*FIRST DRUMROLL OF THE SEASON PLEASE*

🏀Dwight Howard 🏀

Ok I kinda figured it out even though I don't know anything about the sports world... But he is one of the few names I do know in the NBA (my dad's a huge sports guy and I might have seen a meme of him falling so that too). Anyways, can I for one second, point out how tall this guy is?! He makes Nick Cannon look tiny…and Nick is 6 feet! It was so funny… I also was surprised at how funny he was… but yeah Clues, here are some you might have missed or gotten idk:

Survived a hard core fall= yup like he legit fell and hurt himself, which really hurt his game & probably his career

Gold phone= won the 2019-2020 championship with the Lakers

Magic playing card= eight seasons he played for Orlando Magic

Also, I gotta note that Ken got it right and is in the lead for the Golden Ear and that shocked me more.

Next, this mask was also eliminated, but wasn't revealed until episode 2, so I'm just gonna talk about the performance and that was:

Mother Nature 🌬

Performance Commentary: I'm not going to say I didn't see this coming, because her performance of I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross was the weakest one vocally of the night. However I still enjoyed her as a performer/entertainer and that costume is unreal like wow it reminds me of Te Fiti from Moana (look it up if you don’t know what I am talking about)

Anyways, let's get into the remaining 3 and my guesses for them *

*I just want to preface that I knew I wasn't going to have time to do this recap in between the 2 episodes, so I wrote my guess for this one mask down before they were revealed

1. Skunk 🦨

Performance Commentary: The beginning was super cool and so well staged, kudos to the producers on that one, but I was pretty underwhelmed with her performance of Diamonds by Sam Smith. Like, that's a great song, but I don't feel it suits her voice & range of what she's capable of doing. All in all, it was ok, nothing wowing about it, even though I do think her voice is very strong.

As for my guess, I think Shunk is:

Faith Evans

Ok, so this was a guess I got thanks to Twitter, voice matched it, and I am sold honestly… idk who Faith was until now, she was married to Notorious B.I.G, but that’s all I know. Anyways, let’s dive into those clues, shall we:

She was on a train to Seoul, South Korea= Soul Train! = she was honored with a lifetime achievement award in 2018 by Soul Train

Duality/yin and yang of the Skunk= she has a song that references Ying Yang in the lyrics called Goin’ Out

Her connection to Elvis= she devoted a song to her late husband Biggie called “The King & I” and Elvis is the king of rock and roll

2. Pufferfish 🐡

Performance Commentary: She sang Say So by Doja Cat, which I mostly know the entire song due to Tik Tok, so I hope people also use her version because it’s super solid. When I was watching at first, I was thrown off by the rapping, but now watching it back, I embraced it. It wasn’t the best rapping ever but it was dope ngl seeing a woman like that also kill a rap. I really enjoyed tbh more than I did the first time when I thought her voice wasn’t really at its full potential.

My guess for the Pufferfish is:

Toni Braxton

After voice matching Pufferfish with Toni, the voice is uncanny! But you need some clues baby boos so here we go:

Voice stands out, she was different, tried to blend in= no like seriously, because everyone knew it was her because Toni has a super distinct voice no one else has

Disco ball= home girl performed on season 7 of Dancing with the Stars, get it disco ball, mirror ball like the trophy they win

Guitarra= she has a hit song called Spanish Guitar, and guitar in Spanish is you guessed it Guitarra

3. Bull 🐂

Performance Commentary: He sang Drops of Jupiter by Train, and wow HE GOT VOCALS FOR DAYSSS (what he ain’t is shy so stop lying my guy). He is absolutely my favorite of the night, his voice is absolute butter, raspy butter… yes I did just say that but you know what I mean (if you don’t, it’s those nice raspy voices that are so smooth like butter). You could tell he is used to performing and singing, because wow that performance was absolutely fantastic.

Even though he was amazing, he was also super easy to guess because from the first damn note (actually from the first damn sneak peak preview they gave us of him singing), I knew who this was:

Todrick Hall (finally those hours watching YouTube as a teen are paying off lol)

Before I even get to the clues, just so you guys know, I have been watching Todrick since like 2014 on YouTube and I know his voice and his mannerisms and how he performs and that Bull ticks all the boxes… I don’t even need clues but to show you my point in the form of evidence, lemme back myself up with these sweet, sweet clues (side note: I could even hear his voice through the modulation, which was crazy):

Grew up in a small town filled with cows= yes sir, he grew up in Plainview, Texas which is a small farming town with less than 25,000 people living there (and I am sure when he lived there it was smaller than that) and filled with cows which at first I thought was a metaphor but looking into it I find out Plainview has the largest beef processing plant in the country… hence cows lol

Heard no again and again and again= reference to how he was on American Idol and then lost the show

Didn’t give up, became his own boss= that American Idol loss got him to start YouTube hence being his own boss

Hollywood and Forbes took notice= he has appeared in the 30 under 30 successful people list by Forbes in 2014

Astronaut aka Hunter Hayes= he covered Invisible by Hunter Hayes on his YouTube channel (which is my absolute favorite Hunter Hayes song so you go Todrick… but that video was actually recently sent to private so you kinda can’t see it… also that was a bit sus)

Anyways, that’s it my friends! Sorry it took so long, have had a lot on my plate with school, work, and just life you know? Anyways, I will try to get episode 2 up tomorrow, but expect it before Wednesday for sure 🤞🏼… Anyways, bye guys! Follow me for more Masked Singer goodness, give this beautiful blog a like if you enjoyed reading it, and comment below your guesses, do you agree with me? Did I convince you? Bye y’all!! 👋🏼

[autisticmight]

ranking christmas carols

silent night: a nice, calming classic. you probably had to learn the first verse in german in primary school. points removed because of that one post that pointed out that describing him as "tender and mild" made the baby jesus sound like fried chicken, and i keep remembering it and laughing instead of holding the notes. 8/10

the first noel: the words and the tune are completely out of sync. the lyrics don't scan, like, at all. you're stuck holding awkward notes, which really brings out the forced rhymes. points deducted for making me pronounce "israel" with four syllables, and that one post from a jewish person with the monty python "i didn't vote for him" king bit, because they make me giggle during the song's redeeming feature, the refrain. point added for the line "'tween an ox manger and an ass" being present in some versions. 3/10

the holly and the ivy: excellent little tune. i like how the refrain mentions the sun rising and also deer. the verses describe various parts of the holly plant, and then liken it to the virgin mary and baby jesus in some way. i'm just here for tree facts. 9/10

hark! the herald angels sing: the title is very excited, like panic! at the disco. i can imagine the herald angels doing little jazz hands. the tune goes a little bit higher line by line, and it's just a really interesting melody. also it slaps, but not as much as 'the holly and the ivy'. 7/10

go tell it on the mountain: simple enough for an assembly of a hundred or so children eleven and under to not sound like shit singing it. the verses are short enough that you don't forget how long you've been singing it for. i liked when the last word on the verse went up a little bit. points deducted for never being on the christmas albums. 6/10

i saw three ships: the narrator sees three ships. this is fucking great. the ships apparently come into bethlehem, which, by car, is about three quarters of an hour from the ocean, depending on traffic. i think the guy just wanted to go boat-spotting on christmas day in the morning, but their parents made them go to church. points deducted for historical inaccuracy, and given back because boats are cool. 7/10

good king wenceslas: the historical figure that this song is about wasn't actually a king when he was alive. they king-ed him after his brother assassin-ed him. this is just a song about a rich dude who goes out in a snowstorm on a holiday to give a peasant some food and firewood. good on him for doing his bit to redistribute the wealth or whatever. 11/10

gaudete: it's in latin and it slaps. points deducted because i don't know latin. 8/10

coventry carol: it's very slow, like 'silent night' but boring, but it's one of my personal favourites, because this is a song about murdering kids!!! yep, we all forgot the baby-murdering that jesus's birth indirectly caused!!! 6/10

in the bleak midwinter: look, i know i bashed 'the first noel' for holding words on notes for far longer than they need to be held, but it actually works here. it's less "fuck, we just tried to sing the words over the first tune we found" and more "let's riff in church!" points removed for a (usually removed) verse talking about breasts and asses, which really messes with the whole mood of the piece. otherwise, the lyrics sound a bit like a hozier song. 8/10

we wish you a merry christmas: this is a song for serfs to sing at their landlords. it is a demand for figgy pudding and a threat of harassment. redistribute the wealth, my lord. give them figgy pudding. 100/10

o come, all ye faithful: okay, so, if you're making this entertaining for an assembly of a hundred or so children aged eleven and under, you have them sing the three "oh come, let us adore him" bits while gradually increasing the volume. it sounds so cool. i am, however, deducting points for the line "lo, he abhors not the virgin's womb," which is just weird, like, "cool! this baby does not hate his mother's uterus!" and also the phrase "very god," which makes me think of 'much doge'. 7/10

while shepherds watched their flocks by night: honestly, it's just a basic little carol. no weird phrases, or butchery of words. the most notable thing i can think of is that, if the singer is the kind of person who needs a lot of validation and partakes in silliness to gain attention, which is the closest thing they can get, they will start the song off with the line "while shepherds washed their socks by night." i hope the sheep weren't being ignored. 5/10

once in royal david's city: it's the same tune as 'hark! the herald angels sing' and nobody talks about it. it tries to keep a bit of suspense going with the identity of the mother and the child, but everyone assumes that it's mary and jesus anyway because this is a christmas carol, and then the song's like, "mary was that mother mild!" and you've just got to look at the poor choirboy like, "shit, dude, yeah, we figured." 6/10

carol of the bells: the tune is a ukranian folk chant, but the words are copyrighted. it's technically a waltz, and it sounds really ominous, which is a nice change from all these 4/4, major key dirges. points deducted for capitalism. 7/10

ding dong merrily on high: this is one of the few carols you can sing in church without almost falling asleep, because it goes hard!!! the melismatic 'gloria'? Iconic. point deducted for making me say "ding dong" and not giving me any time to giggle. 9/10

god rest ye merry gentlemen: okay, so this is one of the songs where the evolution of language has obscured the meaning. it's not saying "take a nap, you drunk skunks," but rather, "may god allow you to remain happy and contented," which is pretty neat. satan notably shows up in the first verse, compared to the others, where the whole 'eternal damnation' thing is kind of tacked on as an afterthought. here, he's just like, "bitch!!! i'm the devil!!! i'm here to eat your souls if you don't swear fealty to this small infant!!!" and i think that's a good representation of christianity. also, if you're in a church with a really slow organ player, the "tidings of comfort and joy" bit can sound terrifying. it's great. 9/10

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Two

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Word Count: 3.2k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse, violence, sexual situations

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"Ah!" I squeal with a small giggle laced through it, Nikki's lips pressing to my shoulder while he pulls out of me and his cum spills on the inside of my thighs that are wide open.

My leg's hooked over his hip as he lays behind me with his arm snaking around my waist, between my breasts, while his hand has a solid hold on my throat.

When he's done, he's pressing one last kiss to my cheek before rolling over on his back, reaching for something on his night table.

I shift to my back, staring up at the mirrored ceiling to see him holding something out to me.

I turn my head to look at him just as he's taking my hand and sliding my wedding ring back on, pressing a little kiss to my hand before grabbing at my jaw assertively, kissing me.

"Apology accepted." I say once he pulls away.

"Yeah, ditto." He chuckles, kissing me one last time before I'm giving out a content sigh and sitting up to go shower.

Once I get out, I dry off and wrap myself in a towel, brushing through my wet hair with my fingers as I step into our bedroom to get some lotion on and get dressed.

"Wait, wait." Nikki stops me as I squeeze lotion onto my hand and I look up at him and raise my brows, seeing him grab his camera from the drawer in the nightstand. "Okay, drop the towel and oil up nice: I'm gonna need something to keep me company while I'm in the studio for countless hours the next several weeks."

I roll my eyes and hold back a smile, throwing my towel at him and it hits him in the face.

"Woo!" He cheers, tossing the towel away and I cover my chest just as the flash goes off and I shake my head a little, ignoring him collecting the dispensed Polaroid as I start putting my moisturizer on.

When I'm finished, I'm pulling on sweat pants and hooking my bra, about to pull a tank top on.

"Hey, Viv?" Nikki asks me.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Is the Lord's prayer important?"

I furrow my brows, finding it odd that's he's asking.

"Well, it's the template Jesus gave Christians to use when praying so yes, it's very important." I reply and he nods a little.

"So...like...what is the prayer, exactly?"

I drop the tank-top in my hands, my eyes widen, and I look at him like he's lost his mind.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Nikki Sixx?"

"Ha, ha." He sarcastically lets out.

"No, seriously, either you're a clone, had a bad dose of drugs, or your body is officially done with and dying and God's jabbing at you to throw one last 'hail Mary' attempt at salvation before you croak."

"No, I just wanna know what I need to say when I pray to you." He replies with a smirk and I pretend to nearly trip and fall on the floor as if it's slippery.

"Woah, woah, woah, you gotta give me a warning before you say something so slick." I tell him, grinning and he pulls me onto him, laughing. "And to answer your question, it's 'Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen'." I finish, deciding he wasn't even listening, but I have a weird feeling he's taking notes. "Seriously, though, why're you asking?" I add, my fingers fiddling with the various necklaces hanging around his neck.

A devious, childish, sneaky little tug of his lips his highlighting the "up to no good" look in his hazel eyes as his pointer finger traces the crucifix around my neck before meeting my gaze.

"Just curious."

Just a dumbass.

I finish dressing before stepping out to check the mail.

When I come back, I realize there's a handwritten note pinned to the door.

It's signed by our accountant and I roll my jaw.

It was $2,500.00 last May, which means he's been going through $5,000.00 a day.

"Uh, Nikki?!" I call coming into the house with the mail and the letter, going to our bedroom where he's plucking at his bass, waving the letter.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Sixx 1 & 2,

Sixx 1 is still spending exponential amounts of money on heroin a day. I left a warning last May, and said Nikki will either be dead or the two of you will be completely broke by May this year. That still stands because the amount being spent has doubled since then. Slow down." I read it off. "Nikki, it was $2,500.00 last time so he's saying you're currently spending $5,000.00 a day on smack?!" I raise my voice. "How the hell can someone possibly do that much heroin--or any freaking drug--in one day?!"

"Viv--"

"--That's $1.6 million a year! Did we even make that much last year!" I scream.

"We? Vivian, you've never worked a day in your fucking life. There is no 'we made', it's what I made. And because I'm the one who made the money, I can do whatever the hell I want with it so just hop off."

"Nikki, baby, we have bills, and insurance didn't cover as much on my time in the hospital and follow-ups as we had hoped so we have to spend money on necessities and not..." I trail off, calming myself down, rubbing my forehead, trying not to start crying.

"Viv, I'll handle it." He tells me after a moment of quiet between us. "Alright?"

I rub my lips together, letting out a sigh as he holds his hand out to take the stack of bills from me.

I hand them over, not saying a word more, before leaving him to continue scraping up motivation to actually write something.

He wrote "Wild Side", which completely reworks and assaults the Lord's prayer...then the bastard listed me as a co-write because, "well you told me what the prayer was to begin with so technically you helped me write it."

When the conservatives went digging around once the album was released, they dragged me through the mud when they saw my name attached to a bastardized version of something sacred to christianity and I heard every degrading, yet passive, insult any holier-than-thou Bible-biddy could throw at me.

I stopped going to church for quite a while after that because I didn't even want to face the possibility of all those people smiling in my face while thinking, "she's not the really for God."

"Valentine's Day?" I ask Doc, raising my brows. "...Really?"

"Well, they wanna get a good feel of Nikki and you're obviously a part of his life, so they figured spending Valentine's Day with you two would be pretty interesting." He explains.

"I don't want anybody getting a good feel of Nikki's anything." I reply stubbornly, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, and Viv won't let me pull out the really special techniques while someone's in the house with us." Nikki adds. "And she only lets me do them on special occasions."

"Nobody's feeling anybody else, and you two sodomites can have all the fun you want once the interview is done with. It'll take four hours, tops." Doc says, looking at Nikki. "We're gonna have to start promoting the album."

This is the selling point.

Nikki sighs, rubbing his face, groaning.

"Fine." He gives up, looking at me. "We can entertain the nosy bastard for a few hours, I guess."

"I suppose." I roll my eyes.

"Thank you." Doc let's out with relief.

"Was that it?" I ask him, glancing around his office.

"Oh, yeah." He nods.

"We drove down here just for you to tell us something you could have easily called and told us over the phone?" Nikki asks next.

"Yeah, 'cause I wanted to see how you look and sure enough you look like shit." Doc states and Nikki rolls his eyes. "Which reminds me, clean up your house and make yourself seem like you're not on drugs. K?" Doc gives us a parting word of advice as we stand up to leave.

"Yeah, yeah, got it." Nikki waves him off, leaving in front of me.

"Viv." Doc says to me and I nod reassuringly.

"I'll make sure he keeps it together for the interview."

"Thank you, you two be careful on the way home."

"We will, bye." I shut the door and follow Nikki out to his Jeep.

"I really don't feel like dealing with the press." He grumbles, looking at me now with his sunglasses on and I give him a small smile.

"Maybe it won't be that bad."

"I don't like people I don't fuck with in my house. It's my house. My space. It isn't a fucking amusement park that's open for review." He cranks the car and I put my seat belt on.

"Baby?"

"What?" He says a little harsh.

"It will be okay." I pat his fluffy hair. "K?"

He doesn't answer, actually pouting like a spoiled little boy.

When he ignores me, about to start driving, I raise a brow, unbuckle, and my fingers slowly fumble with the button on his jeans as his pout falters and his smirk replaces it, followed by the sound of a content, groan-filled sigh, and the back of his head hitting the back of his seat when I get my mouth around his prick.

Once we get home I'm wiping the remains of slobber and cum from my lips and he's struggling to keep his legs from collapsing.

"Are you okay?" I ask him smugly when his leg shakes a little bit as he unlocks the front door.

"Watch it, Sixx." He warns as he points at me, his hand popping me on the ass when I walk in front of him to go inside, and I let out a small shriek, following it with a laugh.

My laughter abruptly stops when I see Vanity watching T.V.

She actually seems sober enough, but she looks like she just came off of a bender.

Nikki and I look at each other.

"Oh, there you are. Nikki wasn't answering the phone and I wanted to see him." She tells us, her eyes glued him, and he sighs.

"Well, I'm here. What do you want?" He asks her in a snap, taking his jacket off.

"Nikki, quit being rude." I tell him quietly.

"Showing up to people's houses uninvited is rude." He replies, glaring at her.

"Not when I gave her the code to the gate and a key." I state.

His eyes bug for a second and he's raising his brows at me.

"You what?"

"Tansy has the code and a key, Tommy, Vince and Mick have the code and a key. Izzy, Steven, Slash, Duff, Axl--"

"--That's different." He cuts me short.

"How? They're our friends and so is she." I point out.

"If I'm not welcome I can just go." She says, grabbing her coat.

"Bye." Nikki says just as I say, "no, it's okay."

He and I give each other dirty looks.

"I was actually about to start cooking dinner and invite some friends over so feel free to stay, please." I offer to her. "Nikki, I need your help in the kitchen."

He follows me and I yank on the ends of his hair once we're alone, scolding him.

"Will you stop being a jackass to her?!" I whisper-yell.

"Can you stop being so fucking nice to people? It's stupid."

"Oh, God forbid Nikki Sixx be married to someone who's not a complete bitch." I roll my eyes, grabbing a few pans from our cabinet and he let's out a heavy breath.

"She's fucking crazy, Vivian." He argues and I turn to face him.

"You say the same thing about me any time I piss you off. I really believe she's a good girl, Nikki. She just needs one, good, solid friend that isn't just friends with her to have someone to do drugs with." I explain.

"Oh, yeah, Viv, she's really good...at being a fucking slut."

I pop him in the side of the face and point my finger at him.

"You don't talk like that about Vince or Tommy or Robbin so why the hell talk like that about her?"

"Because she is one." He ignores me and I let out a breath. "Some of the dudes she's fucked are married." He adds.

"Tansy has slept with married men, is she a slut, too?" I ask him and he rolls his jaw. "What I thought."

"Viv, I really don't--"

"Okay, Nikki. Whatever you say." I interrupt him, grabbing some things from the fridge. "She's an awful person, got it. Can you please help me with this so I can clean up the house some?" I ask.

He hesitates for a second before opening the packet of chicken on the counter I pulled from the fridge.

"Thank you." I smile, kissing his cheek, before leaving him alone so I can get the house in nice shape.

To say Nikki projected shit onto Vanity would be an understatement. Her hands weren't clean, of course, but he would often externally put her down the way he internally put himself down for what the two of them were doing to me. It was moments like that, that I looked back on after finding everything out, and would want to hit myself.

He practically told me they were sleeping together without actually saying "hey, I'm screwing this woman that you think is your friend, and you're being too nice and naive to think we wouldn't do that to you."

"Tommy and Heather, Vince and Sharise, Tansy and Vanity, Duff, Slash, Steven, Izzy and Axl." I tell Mick how many people will be at dinner and I hear him let out a breath on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know, Viv." He tells me.

"Mick, c'mon, I haven't seen you very much the past year."

"I don't know..."

"Mick--"

"--Mick, get your ass over here so we can have a good time. We're gonna see you in the studio tomorrow, anyway, so just come celebrate the commencement of the start of the new album." Nikki says after he takes the phone from me.

Mick says something and Nikki grins.

"Alright, bye." He hangs up. "He's in." He tells me.

"Thank you for snatching the phone from me, dickhead." I say, half-joking.

"Okay, I am this close," he holds his pointer finger and thumb centimeters apart from each other. "to bending you over my knee and beating your ass."

"Promise?" I reply, grinning, and he tugs me closer to him, but just before our lips meet, Vanity is walking--more so bursting--into the kitchen.

"Nikki, when are we hanging out?" She asks him, nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Nikki's hands dig into my hips as if he's channeling his frustration instead of being rude.

I know what "hangout" means, and I don't need him cracked out, especially not now with guests coming over soon.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Vanity." I explain to her as politely as I can.

"Why not?" She asks me.

"Just not aright now." Nikki tells her, actually more tolerant than he was earlier.

I don't know if I'm shocked because he's not being an ass to her, or because he's  turning down the opportunity to go hit a crackpipe. 

Vanity looks at me for a split second--a very short, nearly millisecond--as if I'm the fucking Devil, before it vanishes and she smiles at us.

"Okay, I'm gonna be in the bathroom freshening up." She tells us, walking in the direction of the guest bathroom, and I let out a breath when she's gone.

"You mean you don't wanna greet our guests naked, waving a gun, and accuse them of being the FBI before opening fire?" I ask him.

He just gives me an unamused look.

"I'm gonna go change before that 'ass beating' is administered." I suggest.

"Yeah, good idea."

I change, put on some makeup, and run my fingers through my hair to comb it out before stepping into the kitchen to help Nikki finish up.

I'm met with uncooked food.

"Uh...Nikki?!" I call, glancing at the clock to see it's 8:00pm.

People will be here any minute.

I go looking for him, smelling the familiarity of cocaine.

"Oh my God." I say to myself, opening the guest bedroom to see Nikki and Vanity crouched over their pipes with a mountain of blow out.

They look at me with wild eyes.

As if on cue, the doorbell rings.

"Please be someone sober. Please be someone sober." I repeat, shutting the door as I step to the door.

I open it to reveal Duff and the guys.

"I need help." I tell them, sounding panicked. "Nikki and Vanity's cracked out."

"Um, w-we were gonna ask you for help." Duff tells me.

"What, why?"

They move over and I see Tansy, shaking a little.

"Are you--"

Before I can finish, a familiar "BANG" is sounding through the house and is joined with a loud, ear-shattering shriek of glass breaking, and we hit the ground, Duff securing me under him before a second shot is fired, breaking more glass, causing Tansy to start screaming and crying from under Axl and Steven.

I thank God when Nikki doesn't shoot again, instead the sound of him scrambling to get to his closet, and the sound of Vanity's heels scampering along with him has me sighing with relief. I hear him slam our bedroom door, and Duff runs his thumbs under my eyes to wipe at tears that I had no idea were even coming out of me.

"Holy shit." Izzy mumbles. 

"Are you okay?" Duff asks me and I nod as he helps me up.

"Tansy?" I ask her gently, she's got her hands over her ears, tears streaming down her face.

Axl carefully steps into the house as I continue to reassure Tansy.

"Uh, Viv?" Axl asks.

"I got it, Viv." Steven tells me, trying to calm Tansy down.

I follow Axl into the house, and I'm taken back by the sight of our entire ceiling in the living room shattered over our couches, the carpet, the coffee table, the T.V., it's a giant sheet of sparkling, sharp, shards of mirror.

It seems like forever just staring at the damage done to my house, and I'm unable to get words to come out of my mouth.

"Dude, is Tansy alright?" Tommy's voice sounds at the door and we snap around to see him.

I hear Heather and Sharise outside before Vince comes in behind Tommy, their brows raising at the sight of the mess.

"Hooollllyyyy..." the blonde singer drags out.

"You alright?" Axl asks me, and anger rolls through me, my teeth grinding together.

"Viv?" Tommy adds.

"Doc. Bob. Now." Is all I'm able to say.

"On it." Tommy doesn't waste a minute stepping through the glass to get to the phone in the living room while Axl tugs me back outside to avoid murdering Nikki.

That was the first straw that began the process of breaking the camel's back.

[bowieisworried]

heyy it's been a while, i kind of ran out of energy for a few days i hope you're doing well! <3

I mean i was getting into Day6 and The Rose also Monsta X on the side y'know in those two years. But i was only keeping up to date with Skz and Bts lmao idk either how i did it especially bc i had a few friends who had diff ult groups than me so i always Heard stuff but i never had the motivation or need to look more into those oops

Skz bias... you can't just ask that;; it'S COMPLICATED OKAY

right from the start i basically biased half the group and then i just kept on adding and then it fluctuated but rn i guess i'm kinda settled on felix, jisung, minho and chan... maybe?

Wait Lay is technically still in Exo??? i thought he was out and jsut doing his own stuff now? WHY is SM like that...

i mean no one can beat NCT when it comes to units [insert clown emoji here] (((and boy i don't even stan them but i'm so pissed at SM for how they treat Mark... Anyways)))

Oh no Seungwoo and Donghun?? rippp

You'll be happy to know that i finally got the motivation to go on an ACE binge yesterday. And y'know i always thought Byeongkwan was gonna be my bias bc i already knew him and when i tried to get into them the first time that kinda manifested but. Now i'm kinda in love with jun. Help me. He reminds me so much on onewe yonghoon sometimes? idk if u can see that but it's mostly in the way they both get shy those videos made me fall a little bit

New Type tm i guesS

(i shall hit you up for victon sometime bc i do know a lot about them already bc a friend got obsessed a year ago and always updates me but y'know that line between knowledge and standom? das me rn)

OH MY GOD WAIT THAT SHERLOCK PERFORMANCE IS THE PERFECT REC THANK YOU

me + all my kpop friends

=

having been obsessed with sherlock/lucifer at some point in the past

i completely forgot about their stage break stuff ur a savior

When it comes to 2nd hand out of print/rare/whatever albums i always feel so torn bc on one hand I wouldn't want to pay that much money for an album (looking at The Rose Void going for like 250 rn) but on the other hand i'm delighted at the thought of maybe one day being able to sell My albums for a lot of money hfhhhhh i'm a hypocrite (especially bc i know i'll never be able to sell hhh too attached)

Glad you agree with the BM Theatre Ver. and same! i love that this album has the theatre songs and all but wouldn't it have made more sense to focus on that for the "Main" versions or put more goodies in ? sigh

God idk how u mentally managed to open the bad love album aHH i'm half thinking of buying it again 2nd hand for cheap just so i Do have an open ver and can look at the photobook and stuff bc idk if i'll ever be able to open it.

Yea the box one! This album is such an all around masterpiece that i totally wasn't expecting and like when the first trailer came out i was Shook because i'm an absolute 90s scifi nerd and it had All the right vibes. And then the packaging? All 3 (ignoring the cassette) versions are so good and so 60s/90s scifi i went a bit crazy maybe

i have a notion board for my album collection so i can always check which ones i have and also which version they are, it's very handy. I should've done that back when i was collecting manga bc the amount of times i bought duplicates just bc i forgot which volume i was on is truly ridiculous lmao

Oh so my 4 day break from messaging was surprisingly well timed, amazing! i hope the move went well? (just gonna interpret the no internet as the final steps haha)

RE: album collection post

your shelf looks so neat and organised! blessed be albums with the same height!

(fun fact: sf9, btob, wonho, day6 and skz have some albums that are all randomly the same height but diff from all their others so idk where to put them they're now just exiled stacked on top of each other)

THAT BLOODMOON SEODO DOUBLE PULL i wanna rob you

Key coming in with the Aesthetic stuff

hehe i have the same big Binary seoho uwu

ND xion = superior. he was so pretty that era i loved his hair

Eu de Vixx? Is that the perfumed album? if so .. How does it smell??

The taemin advice pc he's so cute stop pOuting

taemin want pc AGAIN with the pouting hhhh

That was fun! i genuinely love looking through people's collections

I hope you have a wonderful afternoon! eat some christmas cookies and drink something warm idk how the weather is for you but it's looking Steel Grey here

~ santa

Hey, don’t worry about it, we all crash now and again.

I love your struggle with a skz bias haha, I feel your pain though, if anyone asked my bias for my top three groups I’d just be gesturing vaguely towards all of them. Your skz biases though... they’re actually mine + plus my besties. I have Chan and Felix and she has Jisung and Minho, you’ve got very good taste!

Ha, yeah, I think he (very) briefly showed up in the MV for the last comeback but it was on greenscreen so who knows.

Ooft NCT... yeah. They’re... a lot. Technically I have 2 NCT biases, but only technically haha, I adopted Ten and Taeyong but not because of any NCT unit. I don’t like to acknowledge where I got them from, but let’s just say Taemin was involved xD

They treat Mark badly though? I didn’t know, or hadn’t noticed cos I really try my best to avoid anything nct related lol

Yeah, my two boys, poor souls. Packed off to the military.

:O Yes! What’s your favourite song/mv so far? Jun though... yes, 10/10, cannot find a better one, so if he lands up as your bias then you’re doing well. I kinda see what you mean about the similarity with Yonghoon, there’s a sort of shy/humbleness but also a confidence as well about them.

Hehehe, glad the recs were good. Honestly whenever someone asks for recs you either go completely blank and can’t think of anything, or you have a list longer than your arm.

250?! Jesus christ that’s just crazy. You make a good point though, they’re pretty much an investment, price will just keep climbing unless the company decides to reprint again *hint hint SM you lazy sods*

Hmm, buying a second copy actually isn’t too bad an idea. I’d definitely open one though, the photobook is lovely! Obviously there isn’t as much sort of extra stuff as the boxset one, but it’s really nice and glossy. I KNOW RIGHT? The whole thing was genius, I’m a massive Star Wars fan so like you with the scifi, when I first saw it my jaw just dropped. Like, is he actually going to package his album like one of the old star wars toys? Yes, yes he is, the bloody madman haha

You’re so organised! Shame about the manga though, must’ve been chaos because don’t some of those run to hundreds of books in a series and stuff?

The move was... well... it’s done now xD

Yup, the Oneus albums are a blessing for being the same height, and then all of Taemin’s and TSOL (except Advice, that little bitch). I love it really though lol. Oh my god those poor albums all stacked up haha! There’s always something that just. doesn’t. Fit. Always.

Ah yeah, the Seodo, soooo good. And Seoho’s big card from Binary Code is exquisite.

Yeah, Eau De Vixx is the one that comes with a “scent card”. It’s SO STRONG. Honestly, you open the album anywhere and it attacks you lol. It doesn’t smell bad though so it’s all good, plus the photos for it are absolutely gorgeous.

Seriously though, I have so many pouty Taemin pc’s. I landed up looking up a sort of list of all the pcs for his albums to see if he is just the poutiest man alive but nope... apparently I just pull the adorable pouts lol.

I’ll be relaxing with a nice rum and some Tarkov haha, and the weather here is the same, grey all day.

Hope you’re feeling a bit better now and you get to have some chilled out time as well today :D

[canonicallyanxious]

Apparently that top 10 albums meme is supposed to be for your top 10 albums of the year ajsnxksksk I didn't realize I just thought it was a top 10 of all time but it got me thinking what my top releases of this year are and I wanted to make a list so here we go! In no order, my top 10 albums released this year (although this list is incredibly subjective and honestly I can't claim that I think these are the 10 best of the year lol these are just the ones I personally like)

Elohim - Elohim (them good pop vibes and relatable mental illness feels...)

Expectations - Hayley Kiyoko (I mean album of my life frankly)

Flow State - Tash Sultana (I think this one made it onto my last list too, Tash is just incredibly talented and I'm weak for some chill wlw vibes you feel me)

Black Panther Soundtrack curated by Kendrick Lamar (not sure if this counts as an album... I kind of feel like it should though from start to finish this thing is killer also all the stars should be the song of the year js)

Iridescence - BROCKHAMPTON (I LOVE bh, but I honestly wasn't sure about this one on first listen. Then I gave it another listen today and yeah this has to be my second favorite release of the year after expectations and I will literally never be over how fucking GOOD the studio version of TONYA sounds god DAMN)

Dirty Computer - Janelle Monae (showstopping. Life changing. Spectacular.)

You Are Someone Else - Fickle Friends (just some good synthy vibes! It makes me feel good and that's my main criteria for an album I like lol)

Solarize - Capital Cities (I like forgot capital cities existed until like two weeks ago and I decided to give their new album a shot even though there's tons of artists like foster the people and vampire weekend I loved in hs that released records this year I was thoroughly disappointed in so I was prepared for this one to be a let down but like... Um... I love it?????? It's so dancey and fun and I'm here for it)

Brighter Wounds - Son Lux (I mean Son Lux is just brilliant and I have nothing else to say on this topic)

Nina Cried Power EP - Hozier (so I know this isn't technically an album either but I just had to include it because these four songs came for my entire life and soul and I'm literally not fucking over it, these four songs are better as a unit than 90% of the albums I've heard this year this is not an exaggeration)