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#I might do more fanart cause I dont know what else to do with all this emotion šŸ„¹šŸ„¹šŸ„¹šŸ„¹
super-antelope Ā· 5 months
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DOLORES DEI - The Greatest Innocence
ā€When her innocence was declared -- and the queen she had advised for years fell on her knees before her -- she was so overcome with emotion that her *lungs* started *glowing* in her chest.ā€
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trainwrecksys Ā· 5 months
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ok!!!!!!!! i am!!!!!!! going to just say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! long long post ahead!!!!!!!!!
yes i look like an out of touch stan with a victim complex for one character when i draw no one but bentham in my fanart and completely ignore everyone else to feel sorry for him and yes i am aware and no i dont know if anyone else sees this in me or im just paranoid but bro i am annoyed with myself !!! i hate how stannish i am sometimes because yes bentham had every reason to be called evil but yeah i had a good few reasons to have a complete breakdown when i read that in the book !!!!!!!1 too much writing under the cut about a lot of stuff that is in my head and needs to get out for better or for worse idk
i have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and i do not expect to be forgiven but genuinely the way me being a stupid shameless stan can come off to others even subconsciously is actually important because it makes me look like someone who would see a situation like the bentham siblings' in real life and side with the STRAIGHT WHITE MALE who has made more than mistakes and hurt people in moments of heightened emotion (end of library of souls)- but like not in defense of bentham for ONCE IN MY LIFE everyone feels emotions everyone gets hurt and he had a right to not be perfect after everything he went through but that doesnt mean hurting people is the course of action and bro i have completely ignored that and skirted around it for two years and IM NOT GONNA KEEP APOLOGISING FOR MAKING THIS TOO LONG BECAUSE IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE AND I REALISE HOW MUCH OF A STUCK UP DICK I COULD BE NOT ONLY ABOUT THIS BUT IN GENERAL LIFE AFTER I READ THE BOOKS AND GAINED AN ATTACHMENT TO BENTHAM
the stuff im talking about is honestly mainly between me myself and i and most of the art i post is him either chilling or feeling a bit sad but the way i completely ignore miss peregrine's issues and betrayal to focus on how oh so hurt and betrayed myron was like there was no reason he was exiled
like yes years in a big mansion with three people to keep him company in the middle of devils acre with no way to resolve his trauma can do shit to someone but what about years feeling his sisters guilt, BASIL????? what about how she mustve felt after both her brothers DIED due to their own hubris???????????? what about how she felt she was a bad sister when she literally had to be like their mother with all the baggage she had then actually mother children while thinking her slightly better brother might have been getting better with him saying he was gonna give them info on caul only to see him SIDE WITH CAUL when he had just done something that COULD HAVE HELPED HIS CAUSE and then spitefully capture her and lead them into the mouth of hell OH MY GOD
and how jacob and emma had to deal with his bullshit being all "lets talk over tea!" and waiting for when it was right in the exposition to tell them who he fucking was, then telling them he BASICALLY KILLED JACOBS GRANDPA while giving excuses and them finding out later on that hE KEPT THE SUUL FOR HIMSELF?????? i made some bullshit reason up why he did that for my headcannons but lets be real the only reason they could have at least imagined was that he was planning on using it in the library. the information betrayed them either way and to alma again it was only a stab in the gut because he hurt a guy who was basically her son
overall hes not some aesthetic victimised pookie bear hes a more than flawed man who only did some things to mend his image and cant be excused for what he did and this whole post was basically me shouting at myself
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polar-artist Ā· 1 month
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silly intro :3
(I know this is a long post but PLEASE READ! I spent a lot of time making this so I would appreciate if you read till the end!)
about me:
-My online name is Olive (don't call me anything else.)
-I use any/all pronouns (So like She/Her, Xe/Xem, He/Him, etc etc.)
-I AM A MINOR. (so are most of my oc's. don't be weird with them.)
-I use bases/references a lot in my art (mostly the digital art), so if you see something similar to a base/reference another artist made that is why. (AS FAR AS I CAN TELL EVERY BASE I USE, THE ARTIST MEANT FOR IT TO BE A BASE. IF THATS NOT THE CASE, PLEASE TELL ME.)
-I may have big breaks in between posting, cause school is starting again for me, and also I just have a horrible posting schedule lol
-I came from Pinterest!! I had seen a lot of posts about tumblr on pinterest (its basically my entire feed), so i thought might as well see what its actually like!!
-DONT REPOST MY ART TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
about my account:
-No inappropriate asks whatsoever.
-I AM (FAIRLY) NEW TO TUMBLR!
-I post randomly on this account! That means you could get oc art one day, then random paragraphs of nonsense the next!
-I will probably only post stuff that I am interested in (check the fandoms list if you want specifics!!)
FANDOMS I AM IN:
(i will get specific if its a game!!)
(a '+' sign at the end means I am more interested in it, a '-' sign at the end means I am less interested in it [fandom-wise]!)
-A Hat in Time +
-Portal +
-Portal 2 +
-Portal Revolution +
-Danganronpa THH, GD, KH +
-The Stanley Parable +
-Minecraft (?) -
-Into/Across the Spiderverse -
-Little Nightmares -
-Little Nightmares 2 -
-The Owl House -
-FNaF -
-MCYT +
-Empires SMP +
-Secret Life +
-Life Series +
-The Backrooms +
-The Good Place +
-Bluey -
-Death Pallete/Matsuro -
-Sky: Children of the Light -
-Dude, Stop +
Borderlands 3 +
-The Last of Us -
-Regretevator +
-The Smiles Family (flamingo) +
-Coraline -
[ETC]
DO NOT INTERACT LIST:
(orange means thin ice, red means DNI under ANY circumstance)
-Anti-Therians
-Anti-Furries
-Spam Accounts
-NSFW accounts (interact with a different account if you must interact
-People who dislike gacha content (in general, not just the weird stuff!!)
-p0/rn Accounts (IM A MINOR.)
-Pedos
-People who support 1$r@31
-Homophobic People
-Transphobic People
-LOl1c0n/ShOt@con
-Proshippers
-Racists
-Ableists
-maybe more? Idk
PLEASE INTERACT:
(just wanna specify, if you already qualify for anything on the DNI list, this doesn't apply to you.)
-People who don't mind long posts (like this)
-People who are/support furries/therians
-Other queer/LGBTQ+ people <3
-People who like OC art
-People who SUPPORT PALESTINE! šŸ‡µšŸ‡ø
-People who are in the same fandoms as me
-People who will make art of my OC's (PLEASE)
-People who like the same music as me
-People who like fanart
-People who like polar bears
-Other Gacha creators
-and more!
I appreciate those who have read this far, and I just wanna say: Welcome to this account! :D
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c0smiccom3t Ā· 1 year
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Dimension Dyfenders Update!! (9/20/23)
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HEY, HEY, it's September! You know what that means! (read the above)
Hello D.D fandom, hello followers, mutuals, friends and hello people who curiously stumbled upon this post. You all know who i am, but for those who don't, let me introduce myself. My name's Comet. I'm the co-creator and main artist in the indie webcomic series Dimension Dyfenders! As of right now, i'm attending art school and trying my best to work more on the webcomic while also attending on my studies and get better grades. Now, you might ask, "Comet, what's going on with this series now?", "Why haven't been there more pocket adventures minisode 1 parts lately?" Well, i got the answers right here! First of all, let's start with the most obvious one... The Pocket Adventures situation.
Now, Pocket Adventures hasnt been online as of late, no next parts were being published, and im very sorry for that. The cause for it is the loss of motivation i had, which made me not work on it for a long while. Even when making new panels i feel extremely tired. Feeling like i should do something else (heck, i feel insecure about its panels when i draw them!) But fret not, that doesn't mean Pocket Adventures is getting cancelled. We still have loads of plans on the table and we can't wait to roll them out. But for now, we're taking a break due to IRL situations for example, art school. We, the team, have lives outside of making d.d content. We need to get our degrees and, well, try to survive life. But no worries, because I got plans to get back on D.D P.A Minisode 1 and finish it completely once winter break hits. As long as my motivation gets out of its hibernation phase. But still, i can't wait for you all to see the conclusion to minisode 1. (I just hope you dont mind if i jump right into the 'new designs' in the next pages)
Speaking of minisodes, I've been thinking of releasing minisodes only once a year than every saturday. Though this decision is not final yet. I don't want clout, in fact, i just wanna do what I love. Create stories and comics for everybody to enjoy. But if you guys would love for a minisode to release once a year or once in 3 months, let me know your opinions! Your criticism helps this series, especially its production, grow better!
Now, for the second and final question you may have askedā€¦ Thing is, Nothing has changed! But well, if you know me on my social media for my recent Crash Bandicoot fanart, then you might notice that Crash 4: It's About Time, especially it's artbook (and concept art by Nicola Saviori)... Has affected my artstyle, DRASTICALLY. So. The characters, of course, have went through some changes. I'd like to call this new artstyle... "The TFB Effect".Ā As a matter of fact, Dimension Dyfenders (both its miniseries and full series) is going to have a brand new, more cartoony, zanier than ever artstyle! Don't believe me? See for yourselves. Starting with the main ones!
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I decided to add a little bit of the good ol' Squash and Stretch to the characters to make them stand out more in the next comics. So of course, some of the colors have changed, especially designs and bodytypes. Oh, and not just that, our heroes have some new stuff, too! For example: Knockout's Dyfender Element is now refered as "Quantum Strenght", Paintdrop's is called "Cosmic Creativity" and Speedrunner's is called "Light Speed". Neat upgrades, eh? (Still, criticism is accepted.) Anyway, notice that in the first picture above there's something that says: "Dyfender Mode", right? Well, if you see that, that's because we are introducing something brand new to our heroes. Called: Omni-modes.
Now, "what are Omni-modes?", you may ask? Well, Omni-modes are modes that are set on the Dyfenders' Dy-watches, you may see that the Omni-Modes are, of course, the Dyfenders' alternate hero forms, to help them take on a mission in a different, more suitable form. When the day needs to be saved during night time (and rarely past bedtime), they activate Night Mode. For sunny beach days but still wanting to make sure nobody figures out their secret identities, Acqua Mode will be at their service. There are tons of different Omni-Modes to be shown (Especially, Pride mode, which was shown on this year's pride post.) So, yeah. Omni-modes will be shown in both the miniseries AND the full series!
Oh! And refering to characters, we can't forget about our main bad guys! Oh, you know, the Dajo-Crew? They got a bit of a make over to fit to the current artstyle! (ft. the updated height chart):
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Now that we got that out of the way. let's just head over what will the future of the series look like as of right now. Starting off with the full series and pocket adventures. As said before, Dimension Dyfenders' artstyle changed. But that doesn't mean everything changed, things may be different (the more cartoony artstyle and the sillier tone), but nothing about the series has changed! And that means..
MORE POCKET ADVENTURES IS HAPPENING, THAT'S RIGHT! MORE D.D CONTENT COMING THIS WAY!
As for right now, D.D Minisode 1 may still be in development as we speak, but one thing that's completed right now is the script! Now that its finally finished, all thats left, is the panel and comic page-making (hopefully you wont mind the sudden character design changes, though.)! But in the meantime! We got some sneak peaks for not just one of the panels from the next minisode 1 pages, but also a never-seen before panel from the next minisodes of pocket adventures! (notice: some of these are not final and may change in the final product.)
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That's not all! this franchise has got some new stuff coming in during it's run. We got so many plans, but this is the only thing we can show about said plans:
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As you can see, you're gonna see some new characters in pocket adventures. While in the full series, you'll get some new characters too. Except... New baddies will be only in the full series, while in the miniseries then later in the animated series... You'll get to meet some new allies! So, keep your eyes peeled for them! And we hope you like them as much as we do.
Now, D.D has never shown a sign of stopping, even during hiatuses, so im happy to announce that more Pocket Adventures will be on their way after Minisode 1 has completed production! We're thinking of putting the upload dates on hold (which means, minisode 2 is delayed until further notice, sorry guys.). So please be patient when waiting for new minisodes.
And speaking of patience... I think I got a little something to keep you guys busy with while you wait... Introducingā€¦
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DIMENSION DYFENDERS TOONIES!
Now, you may be wondering: "What is THIS?" D.D.T (Dimension Dyfenders Toonies for long), is a brand new miniseries of comic strips that comes out during the weekends. (Starting in October, the end of september, or during the holiday season! No promises, though.) It's a little something i can make up while you guys wait for the next Pocket Adventures Minisodes. Oh yeah, here's one of the cover for it, too! It's not much, but i know you guys would go NUTS for it:
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This will be about how the Dyfenders handle their superhero and school lives in everyday situations. (No worries, the action isn't gone. There might be some strips about school, but there will be more strips about their superhero lives, guarantee!). It's also about what The Dajo-Crew does when they aren't invading dimensions, get into some shenanigans at the castle and also when they plot evil schemes. some strips will be either original with a new short story or a recreation of old strips from phase 1 (not a final decision of course, but you can tell us if you like this idea)! One thing to point out is that some of the strips might take place before some minisodes, now thats another thing to notice, right? And that's the only "spoiler" I can give. So, sorry, no more! OH! And for any of you voice actors reading this who are like: "Wow, i wonder when this series will get a comic dub / animated series. If i'm lucky enough i might be able to voice act for it!" ā€¦ Boy, do we have a treat for you all. Which will be posted in a few hours. both on bird app, bluesky, insta and on here! Ā The only thing I have to announce is that during the d.d stuff's production and during art school, i'm not gonna be online on social media. (until during normal/long weekends and festive days.), but no worries, the series is still alive and kicking, even when there aren't posts about it for a few months! Though, in some days, i'll be able to make and share some art for it! You're all in for a wild ride for these months and for 2024! Oh, and about Dajo's account. I'm planning to bring it back. But, Dajo is currently busy conquering Dimensions, but I can assure he hasn't abandoned Sinstagram completely. You'll see more of his influencer side, too. Both in his Sinstagram and in the upcoming strips! (And perhaps in some miniā€“ OOPS! TOO MUCH!) That's all for now! Thank you all for your support on the series, don't forget to share your fan creations of the series in DMs or tag me and the team in your masterpieces, share it with your family and friends, subscribe to the series on Comicfury, and follow me on Tumblr, bluesky, bird app and Instagram if you wish to support the project even outside of comicfury! Once again, thank you all in this slowly-growing small fandom for all of your support, and i hope you're all excited for what's to come! If you have any questions, please drop them on my tumblr askbox, Which i'll be able to answer during the weekends. That's all, back to the offline study and sleep abyss for me. GOODBYE!
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verdantglow Ā· 6 months
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ooooh okokokok
Grimdark griann and horror terror watcher/listeners sounds SO SICK
Also i hope you know i genuinely laughed when you said he mightve fished it up. And then i was like "Do Trolls fish? Would that be considered an act of aggression against the top two castes?" and then i decided it would be really fucking funny if Griann was fishing and then Scar swam over, and either purposefully or not, got caught on Grianns line, so our beloved candy blood man fishes up his beloved moirail. I imagine it has happened on multiple occasions.
I am so excited you said that because i personally love Cub and Convex so much, they mean so much to me. Also Iskall!! I love that man!!! And Doc would be such a fun addition to the cast (I personally imagine him as an indigo blood because.... well. sometimes he reminds me of Equius. And despite my hatred for Equius i say this in the most affectionate way if that makes sense) (I dont hate Doc hes such a silly guy)
Dont feel too much pressure about the ships! I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but i know i personally am happy to wait to see them whenever youre ready to put them out, although i AM excited to see who.
I think word of mouth spreading also works really well, although I am genuinely so interested in how exactly it got up to Scar in the first place. As in like what is the lineage from Griann to Scar. I feel like I'd need to know the other blood castes of the cast, and also how closely you're sticking to troll society canon in the way that generally high and low bloods dont mesh too often.
Also, if you have decided it. Im very interested in learning who/what everyones lusus is? If you even just have a combination of animals for a few.
I'm assuming you welcome fanart, but if we slightly change designs/make our own designs (for trolls whose designs haven't made their appearance yet), is that ok?
Oh man, I think Griann definitely has to fish now & yes, he 110% fishes Scar up on multiple occasions. Actually, fuck it, that might be how they meet. In factā€¦ while they knew each other to the extent of being vaguely recognized usernames on the VLARP forums earlier, they actually met in person when Scar got tangled up in one of Griannā€™s (illegal) fishing nets. Griann had been preparing himself for a fight or flight kinda situation when he noticed a violet blood in his nets, but that proved rather unnecessary. Scar, while he gave Griann some crap about how his nets ought to be more visible, was much more interested in chatting than actually in any way making Griann pay for the slight. This became A Thing, Scar occasionally getting caught up in the nets, though it was never really clear how often this was an accident or not. When Griann was looking for people for 3rd Life, he happened to mention it to Scar, who demanded he be allowed to play. Now, at this point, Scar was really just ā€˜that odd violet blood who canā€™t avoid nets & talks a lot & thank fuck doesnā€™t want me culledā€™ to Griann. However, when Griann recognized his username from around the community, he figured heā€™d give Scar a chance.
(There is definitely some angst in here somewhere about how Griann didnā€™t see Scar for multiple perigees after 3rd Life & how despite their moirallegence during the game, Griann came to doubt whether Scar still wanted anything to do with him after the blood bath in the cactus ringā€¦)
Interesting to think of Doc as an indigo blood! Though I am tempted to make him a low blood with no psychic powersā€¦. Hmā€¦ Iā€™ll have to give this more thoughtā€¦ (Okay adding this last minute before posting, but gold blood Doc whose lusus is a swarm of bees that help run all his tech. You know. The Hivemind.)
Okay, so lusii. Hereā€™s who Iā€™ve got figured out from my list:
- Scar: some sort of mercat? Like a purrbeast, but aquatic. A murrbeast if you will.
- Lizzie: Glā€™bgloyb, ā€˜cause sheā€™s every fuchsiaā€™s lusus
- Jimmie: canary. It just has to a canary. Tiny fragile bird that Jimmieā€™s constantly desperately trying to keep alive.
- Tangoh: a warden. Donā€™t ask me how wardens got on Alternia, but they are definitely a thing there in this AU. Other trolls (especially low bloods who donā€™t know him) are terrified of Pancakes, but Tangoh mostly regards him with fond exasperation as he needs a lot of looking after.
- Wrehnn: dog/woofbeast, think German Shepard
- Gem: A deer, but if deer were terrifying predators. It looks like a deer for the most part & people tend to underestimate Gem when she shows up on a skittery prey animal. That is, until her lusus opens her mouth & they see the impossible number of teeth she has.
- Bedubs: a horse of some kind, for sure. Maybe a unicorn, who are seen as fearsome beasts on Alternia. After all, whatā€™s more hardcore than having a single, sharp horn for goring on your forehead?
- Pearle: owl-wolf. Like a wolf thatā€™s got giant eyes & owl wings.
- Mummbo: giant moth
- Eethos: arctic fox with moose antlers
- Skizzl: Irish Wolfhound
- Martyn: snow creeper named Colin
- Joel: honey badger named Jeremy
- Cleaoh: Snow leopard
- Bigbee: a frog the size of a pit bull
- Impuls: ground pangolin. Canā€™t explain this really, but both my fiancĆ© & I came to this independently. So uh I guess Impuls(e) is pangolin coded??? (Something about burrowing, something about being cute as fuck but razor sharp, something about looking like they want to ask you to a middle school dance.)
- Scohtt: sea otter
- Griann: chicken. Might even actually be a Minecraft chicken, not sure how committed to that bit I am.
Whoops totally just got absorbed in this & figured out all the lusii lol. But this was so much fun, my fiancĆ© & I have been researching animals & YouTubers for the last like hour or so & now my search history is all stuff like ā€œweird big catā€ & ā€œanimals that are cute & friendly but also could definitely kill you.ā€
Iā€™m sticking to the separation between castes pretty loosely, mostly because (spoiler) a lot of the out of game plot revolves around rebellion against The Condesce. So it would make sense that trolls who want to overthrow the status quo would be less bound by social norms. Every group pretty much has at least a blue blood or higher in it, & at least one low blood. Not necessarily because I planned that, itā€™s just sorta how things shook out.
For fanart, yes, omg I welcome it so much! If you want to tweak designs a bit or make up a design, thatā€™s cool. (Though also, if you want in AU references for anyone, Iā€™m always happy to throw together a rough reference sheet! Might take me a day or so, depending on spoon levels, but Iā€™d be delighted to have a reason to draw any of the many trolls I havenā€™t yet!)
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striddums Ā· 1 year
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dont take it like im trying to pressure u or anything i just wanted to say i miss ur art sm. like u were the first artist who actually inspired me to keep going with my art. at the time i was really depressed and s/icidal and discovering ur art and also marina thru u made me so happy, your art and her music always made my days better šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’— and i also miss being like 15 and being obsessed with total drama and everyone being active on here. sorry i just saw some total drama edit on instagram and felt nostalgic šŸ„ŗ anyway love u always šŸ’—
WHY DID IT TAKE ME A LITERAL YEAR TO RESPOND TO THIS I'M SO VERY SORRY (IF YOU'RE STILL OUT HERE ON TUMBLR DOT COM) i haven't really looked at my askbox a ton the last couple of.............. years honestly oh gosh
you have no idea how much it means to me to hear this, THANK YOU!!!! (Ā“;___;`) šŸ’—šŸ’— for as far as i know i've always been Just Some Person sharing my fanart online because of my love for the shows i was drawing, and it always filled my heart to the brim whenever people were able to find enjoyment in what i createdā£ā£ā£ (Ė¶ ā—œź’”ā— Ėµ) and the thought i even INSPIRED you to keep going with art is more valuable to me than anything else!!!!!!!!!!! i really hope you are still making art and expressing yourself through it, it's such an amazing medium and i know for a fact everything you create has to be so wonderful!!!!! šŸŒžšŸ’
ALSO I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MARINA HEHE THE QUEEN!!!!! OUR QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! šŸ’–šŸ‘‘šŸ’– i truly feel so grateful to know i was able to play a part/help with making your days better!!! you definitely brightened mine with this messageā•ā• šŸ„¹šŸ’™šŸ’™ it's interactions like these that honestly make me miss posting art online the most... it's such a shame i had a very unpleasant experience primarily in my last year of art school, which left me with an art block that lasted YEARS. i really felt like i had lost a part of myself back then because of it, which i've been slowly trying to rebuilt since, and i think i'm finally getting to a point where i've regained my ability to derive true joy from art once more! i've been thinking about uploading art again, i guess right now i also just feel kind of hesitant because of the rise of AI art & the chance that my works might end up being used to feed some computer program (as has happened to so many other artists, without their consent :( ) but we'll see!! cause i definitely feel inspired to start sharing more of my love for fashion online too, which for me at this point is very intrinsically tied to my art :D i'd like to get to a point where i can draw/design any piece i adore and then sew them irl as accurately to the original drawing as i can :>
"i also miss being like 15 and being obsessed with total drama and everyone being active on here" GOD I RELATE the old deviantart/tumblr days used to be so fun... well, i've heard they unfortunately weren't always fun for everybody (we were all teens with many feelings & opinions & not so much social grace), i think i'm somewhat "lucky" to have always been kind of a Neutral(??) party cause i honestly never truly knew what was going on between people and was just blissfully sharing my art... therefore i'm still able to look back at those times and remember them fondly šŸ’™šŸ’œ i'm happy to hear it's the same for you!!! nostalgia is such a lovely feeling! AND we must always remember that there are still so many many more lovely memories to be made in the future that we have yet to experience (ā—ĖŠā€¢Ķˆ į—œ ā€¢ĶˆĖ‹ā—)!!!šŸŽ”
anyway, i hope you are doing well nowadays!!! I LOVE AND APPRECIATE U TOO, ALWAYS šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—šŸ’—
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ferrn0 Ā· 1 year
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REGARDING POSTING
heads up / TW: this looks at personal stuff + vent(? sorta) ALSO this is not super important / not essential for you to read
TL;DR:
less posting due to massive lack of motivation
want to post more and take art serious but its hard
could be depression or hormones idk dont know what to do
overthinking lots -> dont know why this is happening
crave regular change but havent had it + difficult to get change bc of parents -> maybe this is why??
going to try my best not to stress abt it
do not worry about me, im going to be okay
i havent been posting much proper/ finished/ full art ( not sketches ) because ive been really struggling with motivation this year. For all i know, it could be a depression(?) thing or perhaps hormones ( i have a uterus unfortunately) or maybe it just comes down to ADHD.. i do take medication for adhd but they dont really do much regarding dopamine so my motivation is still kinda low even when i take the meds. I really want to be posting proper art and i want to take my art more seriously however, without motivation its really difficult. Im finding myslef slipping back into what feels like a depressive mindset. kind of. yet, im super happy in so many aspects of my life where i used to be affected by this mindset. I have found a better group of people to be around ive found more things i want to do and ive got goals for the year- i didnt have those this time last year. And now.. my creativity has been affected and i dont know what to do.
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I feel guilty for not posting. Or maybe i feel frustrated that i dont post (which leaves me with noone seeing my work). Either way, i want to post. but i cant get myself to.
this leaves me thinking...
"maybe i just need to improve my skills"
"maybe im not putting enpugh effort in, what if im just not 'trust(ing) the process' enough"
"i might need to just try a new medium"
"maybe i need a new intrest or fandom to join so i can make fanart"
"what if i was just qrong my whole life and im not cut out to be an artist?"
"perhaps theres something else wrong with me and thats why i cant get myself to do things"
And this circles round and round. So what do i do about it?? should i just take a break and not focus on posting? but i already do that anyway! do i just try to do a month long or a week long challenge? but i always miss days and eventually give up!
The more i write about this the more i realise i am not okay. and that im getting worked up over a small thing. but i am miniscule and to me this small thing is ginormous.
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i am a kind of person who craves change. but only when i want it. And i have gone a very long time without the kind of change i need in my immediate environment. so maybe thats the issue. but i happen to be a child. who lives with his parents. so that causes some problems, dont it? not that my parents are horrible people or incredibly unfair. but because they have their own ideas of how we (me and my brothers) should grow up and what sort of privileges we get ect. because they are my parents. My parents believe that we should each have atleast one physical out-of-school activity we do each week. I do basketball. and i have been since i was in grade 5. its been almost 5 years. dont get me wrong, i love the game and i love playing it. but i find myself dreading going to each game everyweek. i need change. i want to quit bball. i also do drama classes each week(since yr 6/7)- but i like that. and i dont want to quit. because its different every week, every year. My bedroom has also been that same for the past 3 or so years, yes i have moved things around, but the furniture hasnt changed, and the walls have been the same colour with the same wall stickers since we moved in when i was in year 1. I spend a lot of time in here(my room) and it doesnt feel like mine anymore.
-
TW- eating
my medication for ADHD gives me a smaller to no appetite during the day. I no longer bring much or anything to school to eat. i dont really eat breakfast either(but i did that before i got meds anyway). I still eat dinner everyday, just a little less that i used to. and i will eat lunch (depending on situation) during the holidays and weekends mostly because it ends up getting made dor me half the time. i do suspect the rather sudden change un my eating habbits might be affecting me. but nothing terrible has happened to me yet(i have lost a few kgs but that isnt worrying as i was a little overweight beforehand). perhaps this is affecting my motivation too. but who i am to know for sure?.
END OF TW
-
i think i will just continue as i have been. but i will try my best to not worry myself over not posting. although i cannot make any garantees. not many people follow or interact with me here so i doubt this will cause too many concerns but if it does, please do not worry. i will be okay. i am working on myself.
I apologise to those who want/wanted to see my work more/more often. i hope this all makes sense and that you can understand ā™”
with sillies,
thomas[FERRN0]
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Im finally saying fuck it cause of a fanfic that inspired me tbhhh lol hereā€™s the start of my mullet!!!!
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Okay so I took some pics cause I finally straitened my hair idk where the small one went RIP so used the big one and so I got some anime spikes goin on lmfao. Cant wait till itā€™s longer and I can get the Steve hair goin on!!! Lol šŸ™ˆšŸ˜…
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I took a few I like with my face in em thinking I might share idk. Anyways, regardless Iā€™m still v proud of myself for posting what I did. This is my first time sharing my scars too so be kind pls.
(i also have a bomb ass happy trail it doesnt show up much here but makes me think of these fanarts i saw of Eddie so comforting!!! also i have chest hair too but doesnā€™t really show lol)
I blame and thank this fic entirely for helping my anxiety riddled ass think maybe i need to just say fuck it and do what i want. What i want is to cosplay and make money being smutty in said cosplay. Might even lead me to being able to do it as myself too but that element is helping me ease into the idea of doing this for work. (Also just wanna say iā€™ve always been one for fighting for sex workers rights. Sex work is real work. soooo i feel im doing myself a disservice if i dont. like im not being 100% if i say that but then am so scared to that iā€™ve been just talking myself out of it every time since i was on sites illegally at legit 13. lol, im legal now yall, im in my 20ā€²s) sorry for ranting here of all places, the acct i never go on really these days. but this was originally my safe space for this side of me. im just finally really at my end with myself. i know sex work would actually make me really happy! i want to but i guess im just scared too but as iā€™ve gotten older, come out, transitioned and just grown im like.. wow i should have been started doing this it lights me up every time i almost start. sooo i think im going to. iā€™ve always wondered why tf its so hard to find cosplayers that are down for making explicit content and wanted to be at least one person who did it.. for others seeking it and not finding it. AND NOW MORE THAN EVER! We all need more trans bodies and nonbinary bodies in our media and that includes however you like.. fanart, pics, vids/gifs, and even dare i say p*rn. like if i just wonder how less depressed and anxious id be if there was someone i saw like myself out here just one person and then that makes me waaaant to beee that person so badly cause idk.. idk who else may need to see real bodies like mine. yn?.. ima stop ranting but yeah...
https://archive.org/details/chap.-7-never-gets-old-brawls-toastranger/(chap.7)+never+gets+old-+brawls%2C+toastranger.m4a
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oriigirii Ā· 3 years
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Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers šŸ’ž
"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"
Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha
Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings
Gender: Neutral!
Hotel: Trivago
* [ ą² ā•­ā•®ą²  ] Lucifer *
{How did he know about your career?}
I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot
(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)
He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!
So him finding out is gonna take a while
But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)
This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.
He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.
But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...
To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)
Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.
If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.
You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)
{How does he feel about your streams?}
Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with
If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.
He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off
Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--
At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.
If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.
Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.
* į••( į› )į•— Mammon*
{How did he know about your career?}
I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!
Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing
You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.
When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.
Bro he's scared.
He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay
When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.
Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly
But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,
"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother themā€¦"
Streaming? why didn't you tell him???
Rude much.
He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment
Can Levi stop him?
Nah.
He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.
He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,
You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?
He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)
"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"
"Ill behave i promiseeeee"
"Cmon pleaseeee?"
Chat is c o n f u s i o n
NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere
but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad
So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"
Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing
As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.
Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?
{How does he feel about your streams?}
You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?
But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!
ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans
but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard
The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)
You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever
Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.
Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.
* ā–˜ā–‚ā– Leviathan*
{How did he know about your career?}
He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned
His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?
Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?
He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.
You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him
He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you
Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U
He'll absolutely m e l t
But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm
Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond
Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them
But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)
You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.
Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.
Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.
Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.
{How does he feel about your streams?}
He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own
He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time
But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.
So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.
He might just end up watching you instead
May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you
You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.
Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan
Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.
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Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!
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im-a-lil-simp Ā· 4 years
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i saw your requests were open and i rlly like your writing! can i request a fluffy Technoblade x male reader? if you can add specifics can you also make the reader short and a twitch streamer? and Techno being very protective of him? if you dont mind that is
Technoblade with a Short Male S/o
Okay I got really scared you found who I was. Cause I am also male and I am extremely short (under 5 foot), so this goes out to my short kings, I love all of you. This was very close to my heart :)
I hope it was alright that I made it headcannons, but I tried to make it at least longer than normal headcannons that I would write. I almost had it done but half of it decided to delete itself so it took longer.
So, he's like a god compared to you.
In more ways than one.
Techno was least a foot taller than you, or at least around that that range.
He thinks that your height is very cute, like, extremely cute.
The way you have to look up at him in order to see his face makes him melt inside.
He loves how powerful he feels next to you, but he also feels as if he'll break you with the slightest touch or squeeze.
When he kisses you, he has to bend down a lot.
When he does that, he might pepper you face with kisses and make it seem as if he's losing his balance and can't find your lips.
Sometimes you get fed up with it and pull on his hoodie so that he gives you an actual kiss.
He'll usually laugh and cover the sides of your face with both of his hands.
And oh my god his hands.
Now, I'm not pulling a lunch club situation here, I'm just talking about how big they are in comparison to yours.
He isn't usually the one for pda, but occasionally in public or if you guys are at home, he'll hold your hand because he knows that his will just engulf yours.
You also steal his clothes.
A lot.
Especially his hoodies, they're always big on you and they always smell like him.
When you walk around the house in nothing but his clothes, he swears that you're the most attractive man on the planet.
He'll walk up behind you and wrap his arms all the way around your waist and put his chin on the top of your head.
On another note,
You guys have a pretty quiet relationship, generally keeping it to yourselves and your families.
Other creators knew about your relationship, but that was about it.
The only problem was, you were one of those creators.
You generally played more games than just minecraft, but like Quackity, you stilled played a lot of minecraft.
You started making more minecraft content after you got into the smp.
Doing bits with the others, you settled in nicely.
And the both of you were pretty comfortable in your relationship, so you had a lot of romantic bits on the server.
Hell, you were even canonically married to Sam.
This was all fine and dandy, until a few toxic stans started to get mean about.
They started calling you the 'smp slut'.
It flowed well and you didn't really care for a while.
But as more people adopted the name, it started to get under your skin and bother you more and more.
Once it started to bother you, Techno immediately noticed.
It took him weeks of prying before you finally caved and told him what was up.
It was then that he started to become protective.
He took you in his arms as you vented to him, rubbing your back slowly.
He wanted to continue to keep your relationship private, but this ground his gears too much.
The next time you went to stream, all went as normal, until about halfway through your stream.
You heard a knock on your door and you tried to ignore it, if you responded, your viewers would know someone else was in your house and question you on it.
When you didn't answer, Techno opened the door and strolled in.
You tried mouthing to him that you were streaming, but your chat definitely knew that someone was there because your facecam had been on.
He came into the view of the camera before you could stop him.
He didn't really show his face, save for a couple of times on his channel.
Most of your chat didn't recognize him immediately, as not everyone had seen that many of his videos.
"Hi chat"
Chat then blew up and you could not believe what was happening.
Why was he here?
Then he started to, calmly, go off, telling them to stop calling you those names because they're all just jokes.
And then he pulled out a specific sentence you did not expect.
"Plus, he's mine."
You were on stream or you would have kissed him right there.
But he did it for you, kissing you on your cheek before getting up and walking out of the room.
You wanted to melt.
From that point on, he wanted you to wear one of his hoodies every stream.
If you forgot or didn't want to, he wasn't mad, but that didn't usually happen in the first place. You loved his clothes.
It just made him feel better.
That way he knew there was always a piece of him with you.
Sometimes chat would notice how big it was on you and connect the dots.
Not everyone liked the thought of both of you together, but most people did.
The ship fanart was off the charts.
You still didn't show your relationship much, but people knew that Techno would step in for you if need be.
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casualotptrash Ā· 3 years
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I posted 51 times in 2021
24 posts created (47%)
27 posts reblogged (53%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 1.1 posts.
I added 83 tags in 2021
#persona 3 - 18 posts
#persona series - 12 posts
#persona 3 portable - 12 posts
#persona 5 - 9 posts
#p3p - 7 posts
#persona 4 - 6 posts
#persona ask - 6 posts
#p3 - 5 posts
#persona 5 royal - 4 posts
#long post - 4 posts
Longest Tag: 131 characters
#dont act like i was trying to be pretentious and be mad about that even after i claim i was just trying to figure out the situation
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I have come back from the temporary void I live in to once again rant about the same thing-
(Note: these are comments under a tweet specifically of fanart of the P3P social links. More specifically the FeMC with Akihiko, Yukari, and Junpei. If you want to see the art cause itā€™s really good and wholesome the artistā€™s Twitter handle is kohquette)
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I just find this hilarious because why would you tell someone to play FES when itā€™s likely that the FeMC/her interactions with the characters in the drawings are what this person is drawn in by. Now the fanart didnā€™t include the battle system or personas or anything, so the person who is interested likely doesnā€™t really know what the game is about yet, but itā€™s like seeing someone be interested in ice cream and you tell them to check out another store you like that doesnā€™t serve ice cream, aka pointless. Thankfully, the artist later replied to them and recommended Portable so at least the person might get the hint to play the version/game that the fanart is actually from.
(Also just to make this clear Iā€™m not trying to hate on this person or anything, I legitimately just find it more funny than anything else)
14 notes ā€¢ Posted 2021-06-28 23:07:43 GMT
#4
Fixes to the Persona Series- Social Links
This was originally going to be the whole point 6 in my Fixes to the Persona Series post, but it was basically the same length as points 1-5 combined so I didnā€™t want to make the post mega-huge.
Link to the whole post about this topic.
(Spoilers for a lot of P3 things, including the plot and second awakenings)Ā 
Iā€™ll start off with this point, something that needs to be fixed for all of the games is that you shouldnā€™t only get social link points for saying what the person wants to hear. I get the train of thought that if you say what they want to hear they will like you more, but thatā€™s not how real friendships work? Obviously you shouldnā€™t be saying something that offends them and think it will raise your points, but sometimes people just need to hear things?
I can think of three standout examples: Nozomi in P3 (Gourmet King), Mishima in P5, and Shinya in P5. Nozomiā€™s link is a hot mess in of itself, but it was very frustrating to at one point just be like ā€œHey can you chill?ā€ when heā€™s trying to induct you into a scam/cult or whatever, and it reverses the social link. Like ok buddy fuck you too, I was just trying to say no and that you need to stop scamming people?? For Mishima in P5 (Iā€™ll go more in depth on him in a later post), itā€™s just kind of strange that you can clearly see him starting to obsess about the PTā€™s but you canā€™t really tell him he needs to stop until the social link demands it. Even then, the only way to get points is pretty much to go ā€œWow Mishima, youā€™re the best! Youā€™re the reason we exist! We love you!!!ā€ and it just feels kind of wrong. Shinyaā€™s is very much along the same line as that, except you basically have to do something even worse and encourage him to keep being a bully? Thankfully P5 doesnā€™t reverse confidants, but I probably would have done so with Shinya because I kept telling him he shouldnā€™t bully others until I realized how to get points with him. It just feels wrong to encourage such behavior until the character suddenly realizes theyā€™ve been acting wrong. No shit, Iā€™ve been trying to say that.
I think social links need quite the fix to them, but this is definitely one of them. Strong, real relationships are not just built upon telling the other person what they want to hear.Ā 
Now Iā€™m going to go into the structure of how social links are made and how they affect the characters. I have so much to say about this itā€™s not even funny. There are two major parts to this, but the second heavily ties into the first, so Iā€™ll just go through them one at a time while trying to make sense.
The first part is that, simply put, integral character growth should not be tied to social links. The completion/tipping point of a characterā€™s growth seems to be signified by their second awakening taking place. For example, in P3, all of the cast members awaken after a big event happens in game which causes them to grow. Most of this is them learning how to move on past the deaths of their loved ones, but still the idea remains the same. The game still has some pretty significant social links with party members too, so itā€™s not like the social links really suffered from this. In fact, I would say it made the social links even better, and it did this by fleshing out the characters further.
For this example, Iā€™m going to use Akihikoā€™s growth from the story and social link in P3P because I feel like I know it quite well and itā€™s one of the best examples of this.
In the main story, itā€™s clear that Akihiko has a couple of problems. Heā€™s quick to fight, reckless with his own health, and cant let go of the past. Along with these traits, he also cares very much about his friends. He considers Tartarus to be a training ground, is actually injured for the first few months of the game, scolds the MC, Junpei, and Yukari a bit for going out to the alleyway (where Shinji saved them) because it was dangerous, and desparately wants Shinji to rejoin SEES. Him and Shinji, on multiple occasions, talk about the incident where Shinji killed Kenā€™s mother. Akihiko says that Shinji needs to let go of the past, and Shinji echoes the same sentiment back at him.
What all of these problems step from is the death of his sister, Miki. They were both young and orphans, along with Shinji, and one day during a fire Shinji held Akihiko back from running back into the burning building. Inside the burning building was Miki, who Akihiko was trying to get to, and sadly she died in the fire (Iā€™m pretty sure all of this isnā€™t revealed until P3P with his social link, but in any version of the game we find out that Miki is dead). Because of this, he felt powerless and from then on strived to be powerful enough to save those around him, which is why heā€™s obsessed with training to such a degree that he doesnā€™t care about personal harm to himself.
All of this eventually comes to a head when Shinji dies in the story, and Akihiko isnā€™t able to save him. At a memorial for his death, Akihiko says this:
ā€œI was too obsessed with power. Ever since I lost Miki, that's all I've cared about. I thought that if I was strong enough, I could protect anyone. But I was wrong... And now You're gone too... I'm such an idiot. In battle, there's always a chance of dying... I knew that! But I was so focused on fighting that I didn't notice anything else! It didn't matter how tough I was! Look what happened!ā€
He cries for his friend, and then is reminded that this is not what Shinji would want. He would want him to keep living his life, and finally let go of the ghosts of his past. So, this is what he does. At that point, his character growth basically reaches its climax and he awakens to Caesar. This all happens in the main story of the game.
Now, how did they decide to do his social link in P3P? Personally, I think it was genius. Due to all of that growth being integral to the main story, they could not just take it out and shove it into a social link. They had to find another thing to make the social link about, and instead of making it about something pointless they connect it to the main growth in the game. (Note, this social link is only available in the FeMC route)
In general, what his social link is about mirrors his growth in the main story a lot. In the beginning, he treats the MC with an overwhelming sense of care, almost to a condescending degree. Youā€™re always going out to eat, him saying how much you need to eat to grow strong, and jogging/running with him. Taking out the more romantic parts of the social link (although they are *chefs kiss*), eventually it progresses to the point where he asks you if you can stop being the field leader of SEES. Of course, he immediately takes this back and laments that you couldnā€™t just do that. You have the option to question if he thinks you arent good enough for the job, and he quickly says that the MC is capable, and he didnā€™t mean to imply that you werent, but he doesnā€™t want you to be in danger. The social link is frozen after this, as Akihiko doesnā€™t know how to balance his overwhelming worry and concern about the MC being hurt. Ā 
After Shinjiā€™s death, the social link continues and he reveals the event of Mikiā€™s death. At one point even says he feels like he doesnā€™t deserve to live because she died. Itā€™s a very sad event, but because of his resolution from the main story with Shinjiā€™s death he is able to open up to the MC. In the end, he comes to the conclusion that heā€™ll never get over the anger and sadness he feels for his sisterā€™s death, and he accepts that she is dead, but he feels guilty because he wanted to ask you to bear this burden with him. He also starts to wonder what his feelings toward the MC mean, because he is very conflicted, and admits he might be seeing Miki in you (hence the overwhelming protecting nature he has for you in the link, and slightly condescending big-brother tendencies).
In his rank 9, he admits that he was tired of losing what was important to him. He thought that it would be better not to let things get too important, rather than risk losing them. He realizes this is wrong, and says he now knows he needs to work to protect everything precious from him. If the romance route was taken then he sees you as a precious loved one, while if the romance route is not taken he likens you to the status of Miki, aka a precious sister to him.
As you can see from the synopsis, a lot of what was in the social link is directly tied into his main growth in the story, however it is also not integral to his main growth. It stems off of it, not the other way around. Whoever made the extra social links in P3P did an amazing job at doing this exact thing, perhaps because they couldnā€™t change the growth in the main story. Either way, itā€™s a perfect example of how social links should be done.
If youā€™re interested in watching the growth from the social link directly, here is the link: Akihiko social link rank 1-10
You might be thinking, how is this issue really that big of a problem? Akihiko was a great character before his P3P social link, so if the growth is there either way (in story or social link) then it should be fine. My answer to this is in short, as the series progressed from P3 this problem got worse to the point where it negatively impacts the characters. The reason this got worse and impacts the characters so much, especially with the ones from P5, is because of the nature of how social links are set up. Obviously, social links are optional. They have to be, because not everyone is going to finish all of them in one run. This presents the unique issue of needing to make social links meaningful, but also not necessary. I would think anyone who reads that sentence would immediately understand how those two things do not mix well, especially when almost all of the important character growth is pushed into the social link. Iā€™ll be using the social links (party members specifically) in P5 as my example to illustrate this because theyā€™re the best for this.
At the very best, party member confidants in P5 feel like they contribute a good bit of character development alongside the story (on the surface). At the very worst, confidants in P5 feel like they actively contradict the story. Ann is probably the best example of this, but it happens to the rest of the main cast too, to varying degrees. Iā€™m not as familiar with Annā€™s confidant as Akihikoā€™s, but Iā€™m going to try and do my best.
Essentially, Annā€™s confidant is about finding her passion, becoming a stronger person, and overcoming her guilt. Outside of the occasional discussions about Shiho, how strong she is, and Ann discussing how she needs to become strong for her, one of the main things you do in the confidant is help Ann use various methods to be a better model (because she comes to the conclusion that she wants to be serious about modeling, her hobby, since Shiho is trying so hard to get back to her normal life). I have played Persona 5 vanilla twice, and Royal twice, and every time I have completed Annā€™s confidant. That being said, itā€™s kind of sad that I could do it four times and barely remember the ā€œbecoming a stronger personā€ and ā€œovercoming her guiltā€ part of it (outside of Ann saying Shiho is strong, and Ann asking us to insult her to make her stronger). She does have a very good conclusion with Shiho, and itā€™s is really sweet to see them hug on the roof and everything, but other than that the main outcome of the confidant is that Ann is going to really try for her modeling career and needs to change her habits because of this. Some of those habits she changes is by eating less junk food, exercising, etc.
Hereā€™s where the issue comes in. You go through this whole confidant and have Ann come to that conclusion, and then throughout multiple scenes (and the rest of the story) Ann adheres to none of it. Itā€™s the most whiplash Iā€™ve ever experienced when one day Ann says sheā€™s going to cut the sweets, and then the next something happens in game and sheā€™s just chowing down on all of the food. To be clear, I do not care if Ann is eating a lot of a little in the grand scheme of things. Like I said, this is just an example that illustrates the total tonal dissonance present from the social link to the main story.
The whole reason this occurs is because, like I said earlier, the confidant has to be meaningful but not necessary to the plot. This is a major problem when pretty much the whole reason for her character growth, the plot with Shiho, is in the confidant. No matter if you do the confidant or not, in the story the characters will always act as if the confidant plot has not happened at all...because they physically cannot write it into the main story as it is optional. The reason this worked with Akihiko was because he had his main growth outside of the social link, and the social link tied into his growth, and the reason this doesnā€™t work for the P5 cast is because their growth is set up in the opposite way. Instead of tying their main growth in the story to the confidant, the story acts as a stepping stone for their main growth in story of the confidant.
I predict some people might read what I just said and counter with the point ā€œYou cant just expect their whole personalities to change,ā€ and they would be right, if that was what I was explaining. Itā€™s not. Obviously base personality traits are always going to be present, but the reason for having character growth is for the characters to grow. Futaba can always be more shy and timid around others, but if you go through her whole confidant where she learns to be more independent and then later on have her go somewhere and completely shut down? That is not growth. Her change can manifest in her being shy about going somewhere new, but adapting to it a lot quicker than she did before the confidant was completed. But, like I said, because of how the confidants are set up this is just not possible.
It took this long to get here, but we finally arrive at how the second point ties in. The second point is that, because of this issue with tying in integral growth with the social link, the characters end up being very one-note in the story (if you take out the inclusion of the social link). In my opinion, P3 doesnā€™t really suffer from this (although there still are bland characters in that game. Sometimes the writing is just not that exciting. Sorry Fuuka, youā€™re better in the spinoffs), P4 suffers from it a little (Teddie talking about girls 90% of the time, Yukiko laughing at everything, Meat Chie, etc.), and P5 has the most rampant cases of this.
This doesnā€™t mean that the characters are not well written, it just means that the game is going to be way more enjoyable if you are able to max everyoneā€™s social link in comparison to only maxing a few. Putting aside the gameplay benefits, I usually love my NG+ runs more than my first run because it allows me to see all of the characters so much more.
I know that all of the characters could be shoved into stereotypical boxes if we had to, but we basically donā€™t need to for P5. If you do not do any confidants with party members in P5, tell me how many times Ryuji shows his remorseful and caring side for the trouble he has caused the track team in the main story. Oh wait, you canā€™t! Heā€™s pushed around as the proverbial butt-monkey for almost the entire game, and at least Junpei and Yosuke got some deeper interaction with the story when they were in this role. If you only experience Ryuji from the main plot, youā€™d probably want to throttle him with how many times he ogles at Ann, argues with Morgana, tries to pick up girls, and shouts about being a Phantom Thief and wanting fame.
I will admit, they do have some deep moments here and there, when the main story calls for it, but other than that (again, without doing the social link) the PTā€™s kind of have as much characterization as a piece of cardboard. This is a big problem, especially when the cast is full of great characters! I played P5 4 times, and it still isnā€™t my favorite cast. There are some really good characters in there, but they just could not compare to the P3 cast for me (even though P3 was filled with a lot of highs and a lot of lows). Yukari was kind of a bitch and I didnā€™t like her for a long time, but at least I felt something! Poor Haru is just shoved off into a corner and characterized as the ā€œteam mom but would kill you, sad her father died, also has a crush on youā€ for the whole game unless you do her confidant.
Jury is still out on the P4 cast, because I see a little bit of what P3 had going on and what P5 does in them. Every time Yosuke is talking about something serious or profound I get really excited, only for it to be followed up with some dumb (usually homophobic) joke. I like the extra interactions the P4 cast has in comparison to P5, but even in those situations it feels like each member is kind of cast into their stereotypical role (Teddie want pussy, Yukiko laugh, Chie meat, etc.). I imagine once I do finish P4G and get to do my NG+ I will like the cast a lot more, but only because I will be able to do all of their social links.
Despite all of this, whether a character from the game has great growth or not, you can always count on Atlus to flanderize each character into their one ā€œdefiningā€ (aka memed) trait to hell and back in any spinoff.
Sorry, donā€™t mind me crying in the corner with how Akihiko was massacred from a deep character into a protein junkie.
17 notes ā€¢ Posted 2021-05-03 21:12:26 GMT
#3
A Tale In Four Pictures
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32 notes ā€¢ Posted 2021-07-05 00:58:57 GMT
#2
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This is a completely pointless post, but why is he posed like heā€™s on a body pillow? Sir, this is official art-
35 notes ā€¢ Posted 2021-07-25 23:57:02 GMT
#1
Sorry, but [REDACTED] Doesnā€™t Matter
Spoilers for Persona 3 after October and the ending, and for P4 and P5 ā€œchoice momentsā€ or endings
Iā€™m keeping this intro very vague just in case this pops up for someone who hasnā€™t gotten to this point in the game, or beaten it, but I will go into full spoilers mode under the cut. To give the most basic overview of what this is, it pertains to the loss of a party member in Persona 3.
Now with that over with, welcome to me complaining about a really big issue I have with the whole debate between saving Shinji or letting him die.
Whenever this debate comes up, the number one complaint against the option to let him live is that it ā€œgoes against the meaning of the game.ā€ Personally, I find this claim to be untrue for two major reasons. One is that I donā€™t think it really goes against the meaning of the game in the first place, and also that the game does a very bad job at...making any difference between the two at all?
For my first point, Iā€™ll clarify what I believe the meaning of the game to be. Obviously there are tones of death, and moving past death. However, I donā€™t believe the message is just ā€œEveryone will die one day, and we need to accept that.ā€ The message is ā€œEveryone will die one day, so we need to make the most of our lives.ā€ This is why Akihiko and Ken find their resolve, because Shinji is gone but they can still continue living their lives for him. This is why SEES continues to live their life to the fullest, because it is what the MC allowed for when they sacrificed themselves. Iā€™m not sure how some people seemed to miss this, or maybe they just didnā€™t make the same connection, but it seems like it would be hard to miss.
The reason that saving Shinjiā€™s life does not go against this message is because he will still one day die, probably still young because of the drugs, so he still has time to live his life to the fullest. Perhaps you could connect it in a certain way that he is also living for the MC, because they saved his life. The fact that he didnā€™t die does not take away from the weight that he was willing to die, and thought he would, by saving Ken. It could even go to show that even if you are ready to die, and you somehow get a second chance, that second chance should not be squandered.
That being said, I find the second reason to be a bigger issue for me personally. Before I played P3P, I knew it was possible to save Shinji. I played the Male route first where you cannot save him, so I experienced his death. While I liked the impact, I decided to see the other side of the coin and saved him in my FeMC playthrough. When I actually got to the point where this happened, I was legitimately shocked by how....meaningless it all was?
What I mean by meaningless is that outside of the different scene with Akihiko mourning over his hospital bed instead of the tribute, and the very end of the game where one person who is optional to talk to who says Shinji woke up from his coma (also the NG+ scene but thatā€™s only if itā€™s NG+ and you romanced him), all of the dialogue is the absolute same. Donā€™t get me wrong, the two mourning scenes do have a different ā€œfeelā€ to them and are both executed well, but legitimately there are no difference outside of those 2/3 instances, and 2 of those 3 are completely miss-able. Everyone else acts like he is dead. I donā€™t know how Atlus messed up so bad with not changing any of the dialogue (which is not even voice acted most of the time), but Iā€™m guessing that they just didnā€™t want to spend the time on it. Even after one quick search on google, I found another person who asked if they actually saved him because everyone was talking the same.
As I mentioned earlier, I knew it was possible to save him and I also knew it was kind of a divisive topic in the fandom, so after figuring out the real ā€œimpactā€ of saving him I was....so confused. I thought ā€œAll of that discourse, over nothing?ā€ I at least suspected that maybe the group would visit him, or he would show up in the base game at the end (not NG+ scene), or at the very least Akihiko or Ken would talk about him as if he was still alive, but nah thereā€™s nothing like that. Obviously the player knows he survived and can imagine maybe what the rest of his life will be, but the game does a shit job at actually making the choice mean anything. Both scenes with Akihiko talking to him are sad and impactful, and the dialogue with Kenā€™s resolution doesnā€™t change in the slightest. Honestly, like I said outside of those 2/3 possible scenes, I see absolutely nothing to gain in doing one over the other unless you want to see Akihiko cry in an auditorium or in a hospital room.
On top of all of this, there is also the sentiment that this person wrote, and I believe many others also agree with (in relation to FeMC and P3P. I took out the rest of the post because it wasnā€™t relevant to this topic at all).
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Now, they didnā€™t elaborate much on this, but after what I just said about how the game doesnā€™t really make any changes at all and sorting out the ā€œmeaning of the gameā€ Iā€™d be really interested to see what their reasoning is. Otherwise, itā€™s hard to imagine how this ā€œliterally ruins Akihiko and Kenā€ when their dialogue, cutscenes, and growth are 99.9% the same. That part alone is a bit frustrating, but what really gets me is how they donā€™t like the FeMC at all (or p3p, which was said earlier in another comment by them) because she can do this optional choice?
Obviously, anyone can dislike choices that are optional in a game. Thatā€™s just how it goes if you have multiple ways of doing things. Some youā€™ll like, and some you wont. However, why is it that basically every time I see someone say they donā€™t like the FeMC itā€™s because of a choice in the game and not something about her actual character? I really canā€™t stress enough how insane it is (to me) that people cannot disconnect what you as the player can choose in a game from the actual character. Because, do you know....believe it or not...there are people who play the FeMC route and donā€™t save Shinji? Or donā€™t romance Ken? Baffling, I know!
Is the FeMC somehow a better character if Shinji still dies or Ken isnā€™t romanced? Not to these people, I suppose. Somehow sheā€™s still just as disliked, because the option was there in the first place. I honestly donā€™t know why this happens, but itā€™s also complete hypocrisy on their parts. Do they not like Yu for being able to murder Namatame? Or how about Joker, who can enslave all of Tokyo (the world? I donā€™t know if itā€™s made clear) if he accepts Yaldyā€™s deal? Itā€™s very likely they still love those two, or at least one of them.
ā€œBut Casual, those donā€™t matter because theyā€™re not canon!ā€
Neither is saving Shinji or romancing Ken, so kiss my ass :)
.
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Anyway.
Just to make this clear, this post isnā€™t meant to bash people who dislike saving Shinji (or perhaps the implications of doing so) or dislike FeMC, but to point out how the game really takes none of this into consideration and that itā€™s a bit ridiculous for people to dislike FeMC for reasons that they seemingly donā€™t take into consideration for the other protagonists.
Itā€™s kind of hard to put into words, but Iā€™m just utterly baffled on how much trouble this causes when itā€™s really worth nothing. I can understand how people who only experienced his death could be affected, but only in the sense that they either think it goes against the ā€œeveryone will dieā€ message and/or comprehend Shinjiā€™s impact even after the game/story is over (which is done by their own volition and the game does not hint to at all).
However, at least as far as the game is concerned, both choices result in essentially the same outcome. Sorry, but Shinjiā€™s death doesnā€™t matter (to the game).
40 notes ā€¢ Posted 2021-05-27 15:15:38 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review ā†’
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therisingdarkness Ā· 3 years
Text
Like genuinely I get confused cause itā€™s like....
Iā€™ve written so much, so many ships and so many pairings, and itā€™s like, I feel some people feel like artists/writers just create content of pairings with one hand and beat themselves off with the other? Like...thatā€™s honestly the vibe I get anytime anyone tries to kinkshame someone else in the very specific realm of fanart and fanfic. And I donā€™t know if itā€™s just because Iā€™m super asexual and this is just something that allos deal with, but when Iā€™m reading fanfic of a pairing that involves literally any kink, itā€™s just like reading any normal book?Ā 
Like my favorite pairing from JJK is definitely Megumi/Itadori and theyā€™re two fifteen year old boys, but the dynamic they have is so fascinating, and they interest me because thereā€™s the insinuation of Itadori being the first real friend Megumi has had, the fact that Itadori is only alive because Megumi asked Gojo to save him (specifically he says he doesnt want Itadori to die, even though he hasnā€™t known him for more than an hour), and then thereā€™s the entire ordeal of Megumi fighting Sukuna (who has taken a weird interest in him, which is fascinating by itself but also opens the door for extra shit), watching Sukuna rip out Itadoriā€™s heart, and then watching this kid die in front of him and feeling SO MUCH GUILT only for Itadori to pop up later perfectly alive and shit and thereā€™s just SO MUCH about them....
and itā€™s like when it comes to finding good fanfic thereā€™s the argument of likeĀ ā€˜oh well theyā€™re minors, you should age them up if youā€™re gonna write themā€™ and itā€™s like....no? Like why would I do that? Iā€™m interested in exploring how their hypothetical relationship might form under the stress and circumstances of everything thatā€™s currently happening to them? I donā€™t care about the future, I wanna explore their messy teenage boy feelings right fucking now. I dont wanna go thru the trouble of having to come up with a reason why they made it to adulthood unscathed from E V E R Y T H I N G, I want to be in the moment. Like after certain events, I want them to examine their feelings and have revelations in the way only teenagers can with that teenage drama and angst.
Like Iā€™ve forgotten what it feels like? Like I can never read or consume media about teenagers again because Iā€™m no longer one of them? Yeah fuck that noise.Ā 
This was more of a general vent than anything else. That last ask just got me thinking is all.Ā 
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lunchador Ā· 4 years
Note
so when do we get the long post about your feelings about dragon age inquisition!!! i dunno if u wanna wait until dlc or not! i am i n t e r e s t e d (also its ok if u dont feel up to it im just!!!! again, interested in ur opinions/feelings)
kajsldkjf PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY DA FEELINGS ALL THE TIME and Inquisition was twice as long as the others so might as well do a word vomit now and I can always do another after the dlc (which several people have assured me are worth playing )
SO
Yeah so inquisition is long. I dislike open world games so a lot of the (super repetitive!!) side quests did grate on my nerves and that docks this game a few points but over all the LORE IS SO GOOD, and it tying in so many choices in from 1+2 is the greatest butterfly effect I ever experienced in video games. I thought telltale + Until dawn were fun for that but good LORD bioware has showed up all of those games and I am really stoked to try mass effect when its out later and play more bw games. I only played Anthem before this and that game seemed...idk, gutted against BWā€™s wishes.
ANYWAY
Yeah, I managed to go into the whole DA series knowing very, very little, despite how many artists I followed did fanart for it. Once I started playing, I added all the words I could think of to my blacklist but a lot of untagged stuff came through (fair, series is 10+ years old and inq is like what 4-5?). I allowed my friends to pressure me into playing an elf mage for the lore and to romance solas cuz they said he was as important to the story as alistair was. A lot of online followers said I should play how I wanted, which I def would recommend to anyone else, but honestly I can see where they came from and while he never would have been my first choice, I think he actually paired REALLY well with my Inq and how I was playing her. I put her as sensitive but trying to put her responsibility above herself, she was definitely the least funny of my 3 characters, but not incredibly serious. A bit reserved? Just more mature. Sheā€™s got faith but she didnā€™t think she was the chosen one but sheā€™ll do her role the best of her ability. She makes hard decisions and then sobs her chest empty over them because how is one to ever feel like its the right one? I really like how the game lets you choose how you wanna approach the responsibility. Like i said, I wasnā€™t a reluctant chosen one, but she will do what she can. Versus my friend playing at the same time as me said he played as the second coming of jesus essentially lmfao Having so many characters come back for different roles was so GOOD!!! Like everyone told me Varric was in this one but were like ā€˜teehee you still cant romance him thoughā€™ but you how you play drastically changes your relationships with each person. Tons of characters I met I knew would be personal favorites but I ended up interacting way less because others were more fitting to my inquisitor. So i.e while I love Varric and wouldā€™ve smooched him a heartbeat with Hawke, I didnā€™t get that vibe with Clover. They were really good friends, he was a grounded friend with a sense of humor that was a good escape from everyone else and the ~inquisition~. At least, until the Beyond the Abyss quest. That obviously heavily fractured their friendship and hurt them both :( And i felt that for a long time, until the end. He looked tired. Poor guy is gonna be borderline dead in 4 at this point. But so many side characters you talk to coming back like Dagna and Samson??? Speaking of that quest, I got Stroud because, yeah...Alistair was dead for me and APPARENTLY IT COULD ALSO BE LOGHAIN??? If he stays a grey warden??Ā  wish I did that so def wouldā€™ve preferred to save Hawke even if I think the wardens are more important as a concept but like.......i wanted to behead him, so....But yes even tiny details like..Varric wrote home to kirkwall to Carver for me because the rest of my family was dead and I never completed a full romance in 2 lkajslkdjf but the fact that changes based on your play through. BUT YEAH THE way this game weaves all your decisions in and how yeah, overall the story is the same but it makes it so personal to YOU and so different from everyone else ;w;
But I could see my Inq genuinely falling for Solas, and I see her best friends as Cassandra and Blackwall/Thom. Really close to Leliana and the Iron Bull as well. I just loved all their interactions. All the characters were so cool to get to know?? Like I thought I wouldā€™ve hated Cullen (hes a dick in O) and tbh I just got into the series as the VA was being a complete shit. But I liked him a lot!! I love the work buddies vibes between the Inq and the advisors. I thought I was going to love Sera!! And like, I did, but she hated my Inquisitor and their personalities clashed a lot. Shes the only one i didnā€™t get a cut scene for in the end :ā€™) I loved coming back from story quests and having to take like 20 minutes to go around skyhold and make sure I talked to /everyone/ for their new dialogue. You genuinely feel connected to all these wonderful npcs ljkasljdf
I wanted to make Cassandra the new divine but I made leliana on accident and kinda dug it so I stuck with it. VARRIC IS THE NEW VISCOUNT??? h i l a r i o u s.
One of the things I loved the most in this game in particular, and while this is something in all of them it just really struck me in this one, was....everyone gave up so so much to devote themselves to the cause, yā€™know?? Like, itā€™s almost heartbreaking how much everyone loses and theyā€™re still looking towards you with their belief and willingness to follow you to the end ;-;
The final fight almost felt, Idk, underwhelming? Dude dragons are way tougher than him asdkjhfkhjd. I even went up a difficulty in this game after feeling like I got the hang of the series. But at the same time, we just spend how many hours knocking down each and one of his advantages so fuck him lol.
But yeah there are so many things I wanted to do but I felt so worn out by mindless sidequests and story being level locked in comparison to the previous games. askdjhflkd
One of the things that blows my mind is so so many people were stoked i was playing DA and they couldnā€™t wait til I got to Inq, and so I find out most people I know only ever played Inquisition? TBH if I didnā€™t play O+2 I think I wouldā€™ve dropped inquisition and never finished it *shrug* all of the build up just means SO MUCH!!! Everyones argument seems to be the older games are ugly and yeah O has rough battle system but its easy to get over imo. Like, you need the chaos of 2 to get the real weight of the mage/templar stuff?? Theres so many characters and story and dialogue that go over your head without Origins?? Like yes inq can stand alone pretty well but, idk, Iā€™m in love with this entire series and the world building and THE!! WAY!!! IT!!! ALL!!! CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!
I love how a quest can go differently by whos in your party, I love you can have more dialogue based on lore youā€™ve managed to pick up around, I love HOW COMPANIONS BICKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! The lore of these games are so good. Itā€™s like playing an epic line of novels. Itā€™s so immersive and I donā€™t think Iā€™ve played too many games to this level.
I didnā€™t like the skill trees to being a mage in this one, Idk why. It wasnā€™t nearly as fun for me as 2, but thenĀ  again I really fucking liked being a force mage haha. I wanted to be a rogue to complete a diff class per game but everyone said mage brings a lot more interesting story/lore stuff so
but yeah I love having the full context now and seeing other peoples Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors and asking people how they played and how their options differed from mine and THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBLE DECISION TREES!!!!! No wonder the fans play over and over.
but yeah ultimately so much fucking happened?? Iā€™m probably missing a lot of key points.
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p1nkwitch Ā· 3 years
Note
May I ask for the Director's Cut on "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? It's the first fic of yours that I read, and it remains one of my favourites in the fandom.
Awww my fist long fic, yes!!! of course, it has a special place in my heart.
Basically i love soulmate Aus with all my heart, and i wanted to do a lonelyeyes one, problem was in canon they are both bastards, So if they figured it inmediatly both would try to outwit each ohter. Sooo, i had to think about what type of soulmate au to use where they would be connecting, but they wouldnt inmediatly pick on the ohter being their soulmate.
I remebered reading a one shot from another fandom about the general idea of finding your significant other lost things. From there it was a matter of them being kind of dumb about it. Which slowly progressed into them moving in together making it impossible to discern that they were finding stuff, cause they assumed it was already there only misplaced.
Now as for the plot. I wanted Elias to deny everything, like he thought he was manipulating Peterā€™s feelings, until he got hit with the fact that shit he does care!!
Peter on the other hand was panicking through all of of their first dates, thats what i had on mind, he struggled with liking him and being concerned about it. Plus knowing that he had been negletcting his soulmate.
Speaking of that!! Simon knowing but not saying anything was my best idea, because he totally would do that. He saw the pen and decided to troll them both for years. I stan one magnificent bastard.
One of the things that i dont think i pointed out enough, but i wanted to was the moment they both start to lose the things from their soulmates, i wanted it to mean something to them. It represented their relationship, they both thought they were neglecting their respective soulmates and wanted to reject them, but once they finally started to lose their things, they instantly regreted!!! At the end when Elias stops getting stuff after they go their own ways, but slowly starts to get back his little trinkets once Peter can connect again with him? That he reconizes the man he loved even in another body???
The sweater? That was the thing that joined Elias with Peter for years, the one memento from his soulmate that he loved the most.
Peter is the type who would show he cares by gifts or small acts that you wont notice, because he hates saying things, while Elias wants to know, to let it be said.
One of the scenes that i enjoyed the most was when Elias realizes that he cant end things, when Peter wraps himself around him and he finally has to admit he is fucked. i take a lot of joy from having him realize thatĀ  YES!! He cares about him, while being soft. I really makes me happy!!
Their first marriage? The post it note? A reference i made in another fic that i had to use. Plus its cute ok? It wasnt legal by any means, but to them it meant something.
Later i would make the joke of the fake divorces written in the fridge to keep it going, but not really having them divorce because im a softy. I may find romance in real life uncomfortable but for this? This deserves everything!!
Elias going for Peter was inspired by another fic that dealt with that, plus my brain always goes Orpheus and Euridice parallel and i go feral, im a sucker from greek mythology. Also i have this idea that Elias is more honest when he thinks Peter is unconcious so admiting to loving him and being his soulmate was.. well perfect.
OH the entire chapter of their legal wedding was so fun!! Mikaele being a sucker for weddings Simon just killing the homophobic asshole!! But the real reason it went like that, was because i have in my head that the piƱa colada Song fits them too much. And needed to have an excuse to use it in the fic, yes thats why it was put there!! Sorry if its kind of corny.
Also i just put the JM as a literall paralel with lonelyeyes with them being unable to realize they are soulmates.
Jondaisy platonic friends, i wont lie, the actual reason, the actual honest to god reason i started Tma was because i saw fanart of Jon and Daisy being queerplatonic friends and i thought i was delighted, so they have a... somewaht soft spot for me. Now i get the full scope of their complicated relationship, but back then it felt right to let it be like that.
Now the ending, here is the deal, i did not want Peter to die, because he is my favourite character so i needed a reason to keep him. JM being soulmates helped with it by Jon blinding hismelf and having them need to think a new plan.
Mm i dont think i can elaborate on anything else. I mean if you want something specific ask away i dont mind!! But i hope you enjoy this, it might have come a little scrambled so apologies.
Mm final notes!! Yes one more thing which was actually the most important plot point.
Originally i was going to write it all from Peterā€™s persepective since i had the entire thing planned out from him, but ended up switching to Elias last moment so i could do Peterā€™s perspective last!! I wanted to practice writing Elias more, since Peter ends up coming easier for me. I find the lonely... easier to write.
Anyways thanks for asking Percy!! This was a lovely ask and im very happy you like my little fic, i hope i improved ever since then!!
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Hannibal - Ep1 - Reaction
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Okay, so this is starting because of @quartermastercandlestickmakerā€‹ and @todorokisroseā€‹ [yes, yā€™all both gettinā€™ tagged in the annoouncement and this one. I need to be clear on who is causing my suffering.]
Iā€™m here in this hole now. This dark pit.
This is not a live-blogging of my watch, but I am writing this live. So, writing live posting later. If that makes sense. Iā€™ll have one post per episode and after Iā€™ll compile them all into a master list.
Spoilers ahead.
What a grand opening my dudes. Thrilling music. Heā€™s got that ā€œhe fucked upā€ face going on. WAIT NO HEā€™S SHERLOCKING THE SHIT. OH COOL. NO WONDER I SAW SOOME FANART OF THEM BEING BFFS. Oh, I like this. Weird effects flex but I dig it.Ooooooooooo I was not expecting that voice. IS THIS WHERE THE ā€œTHIS IS MY DESIGNā€ SHIT CAME FROM WHAT THE FUCK Have I known this more than I thought.
Also low-key bitch *looks* like a psychopath no wonder what is gonna happen happens. Oh rip Mrs. Marlow ;;~;; that was a hard change bro.
I donā€™t wanna think about ---
BITCH THIS *IS* WHERE THE THIS IS MY DESIGN SHIT CAME FROM OH M Y G O D
Also Laurence Fishbourne god bless I love him.
Itā€™s difficult for me to be social too, fam. LAURANCE WHY DID YOU FIX HIS GLASSES THAT WAS SO WE IR D???? Also bro same I love you, Will Graham, you funky little sociopath.
ā€œEvery girl is a candy barā€ mhm okay thanks for that. Will and this sociable thing is really fucking me bro minus the serial killer obsession/profession/vibe.
Laurence Fishbourne is an amazing actor but Iā€™m also digging the dude playing Will (srry names are my weakness so his name is Will.)
Oooooo booi. I recognize Katz from fanart sheā€™s a popular one right. But weā€™re going upstairs.
Iā€™m so worried about opening the door
Oh
Oh
Oh no
He knew
This bitch been knew
Holy shit
I like the whole thing with eye contact. Iā€™ve seen the gif where itā€™s mentioned but I like how itā€™s subtle and not overly emphasized so far. Oh weā€™re flashing back again. Poor Elise. Itā€™s a super interesting story technique using him as the killer. Also damn bitch ā€œyou unstableā€ youā€™re such a nosy bitch how were you interrupted when you were asked not to enter
Now everyone is here
Antlers promote healing mhm okay
I wanna hug him but I also donā€™t want to make him uncomfortable with contact. IS HE STOPPING FOR A DOG OH ,Y HO GOD. Iā€™D DIE FOR THIS MAN. Iā€™D DIE FOR THIS MAN. HE STOPPED FOR A DOG. HEWENT BACK FOR THE DOG OMGH THIS MAN THIS MAN IS,,,,, he adopted a fucking stray dog. This man is lovely. I love this man. This -- HE DOES IT TO MULTIPLE DOOGS OH MY GOD I WANNA MARRY HIM ANDHAVE WINSTON AND EVERYBODY AND OMOG HEā€™S SUCH A LOVELY STRANGE CREATURE.
Where are we now. In a dream state? OH SHIT WE ARE THATā€™S A BODY AND A HEARTBEAT IN MY EAR WHAT THE FUCK ahhhh fun nightmares I love it. Oh shit the towels. Bro. There are quite a few visuals happening.
ā€œUSE THE LADIES ROOMā€ dafsjhg
Stop yelling at him ;;~;;
Woah Ā this is a lot to unpack in this scene you can see Will like slipping omg. Itā€™ss almost unsettling him not having eye contact but like I know the reason for it and therefore itā€™s just impressive acting and not like unsettling of the actor to do that if that makes sense? I really am impressed by that level of commitment to not have a ā€œlook at the cameraā€ to keep showing how he wonā€™t look at other people.
Ooo this is one of the lady psych talkers which is like on the Graham side while the blonde one is for Hannibal, right even tho Hannibal is a brain doc. ALANA thatā€™s her name and that might be how you spell it. She doesnā€™t want him out there but Laurence needs Ā her to be his back Ā up. (Oh, his name is Jack.) JACK DONT MAKE PROMISES WILL CAN AND WILL GET CLOSE.
WHAT THE FUCK Ā IS THIS SHOW WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE SHADWS AND THE ANTLERS PIERCING HER OH MY GOD WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS SHOW I THOUGHT THE VISUALS I HAD SEEN IN FAN ART WAS JUST LIKE FANON Ā IMPOSED OMOG ā€œSOMETHING WRONG WITH Ā THE MEATā€ O G M OOG HEā€™S EATING THEM FUCK
Is this
Is this my bitch
MY BITCH MADS OH MY GOD.
I love him. Heā€™s so unconventionally handsome. He looks like heā€™d kill and eat me but Iā€™d thank him for it, yanno? Oops.
No nonsense MM handing this crying man some tissues I love it. ā€œI hate being this neuroticā€ omg the mood also Hannibalā€™s glance to the tissue is fucking amazing??? V Subtle Acting /cries in beauty
Franklyn, the lion isnā€™t in the room boy (just discovered I might wanna put subtitles on but theyā€™re not working so rip)
Frankie boy got so scared by that comment thanks, Dr. Lector.
Mhm no secretary thatā€™s,,, suspicious,,,, ā€œsad to see her goā€ mhm okay sure Jan
Oh this bitch does draw oh my god john hopkins internship and all. Laurence is impressed and Mads is ā€œmhm are you gonna try somethingā€ sdajkfgh A LAYMAN DAMN aww heā€™s like ā€œoomg youā€™re so amazing dr. mr. sirā€
OH THEYā€™RE IN THE SAME ROOM HERE WE GO BBY
FUCKKK IT BEGINS
SORRY HEā€™S GIVING THE WHOLE DOWNLOW
ā€œAssociations come quickly-ā€ ā€œso do fortsā€
QEFJWahgrsdfdkq WHAT THE FUCK
THIS IS LITERAL THE FIRST DAMN CONVERSATION HE HAS WITH HIM. I KNEW THE CONVERSATION ABOUT EYE CONTACT WAS ONE OF THEIR FIRST, BUT THIS IS THE LITERAL FIRST WITH THE ADDED BONUS OF HE ACTUALLY MAKES E Y E C O N T A C T OOMGGG??!?!?!?!
Oh ;;~;; ā€œYOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN Iā€™M PSYCHOANAYLYZEDā€ im this is very flirtatious als jack youā€™re like br Ā o
So heā€™s the King of Empathy. Heā€™s,,, helping Will see his own face,,, mhm,,,,, what does that say about you, Dr. Lector?
Heā€™s mocking where he was apologetic is this maybe noT
FJAGUDIS
SHIT THOSE ARE LUNGS
OH
ā€œHE HAS A DAUGHTER SAME AGEā€ O H B O Ā Y THATā€™S UH DADDY HAS SOME ISSUES WITH BABY LEAVING HOME
Also this is a copy cat dklafjsghjfd OH DAMN THAT SNAP BACK ABOUT DR. LECTOR FFUCKK MAN.
Also,, I Ā can see why this show,, caused issues,,, a man should not look handsome while eating fucking lungs.
More visions I cannot even
What does this
What the hell is this
Dr. Lector showing up at his house o h .
IS HE FEEDING HIM FUCKING LUNGS BITCH OH MY GD ON A FIRST DATE???
ā€œGod forbid we become friendlyā€
ā€œI donā€™t find you that interestingā€
This smells,,, like a ship,,, mhm,,,,
Breath will damn breath slow and use the words omg
Mhm ookay ā€œweā€™re just alikeā€ in the first bitā€¦
Uncle Jack sees him as a fine china tea cup. Thatā€™s hilarious.
ā€œHow do you see me?ā€ says Will.
ā€œThe mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by,ā€ replies Hannibal WHILE WILL IS KEEPING EYE CONTACT.
OH MY GOD. MHM. KAY. IM OKAY. THIS IS OKAY.
So is there a reason -- ā€œplain but prettyā€ hannibal gives a look -- is there a reason no official officer is accompanying them like????? Theyā€™re both not??? FBI????
Damn hannibal spilling shit everywhere.
HEā€™S USING A TISSUE TO PICK UP THE PHONE
TO CALL HIS DAUGHTER
MHMMMM?????????
Wait no heā€™s calling someone else
Who is this
OH HEā€™S CALLING GARRETT. OH. wait is he helping other cannibals get away. What the fuck. You canā€™t do that, Hannibal. Is there a fuckking cannibal union yall get together and trrade recipes.
OH NO GARRETT MURDERED HIS WIFE AND KID DIDNT HE OH NO
OH PLEASE NO
Wait weā€™re back to reality
This back and forth is trippy
Oh
H Ā N
OH Ā NO
FUCK YU HANNIBAL AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING CANNIBAL CLAN THIS PR WOMAN :(((((((((
I do love how this built up to Hannibal being the cannibal but it was Hobbs. NFIEGSIBFD
HOBBS NO
FUCK HIM UP WILL
(also I guess Will technically is FBI that probably helps lmao)
Oh no
O h n o
Dont whisper at him to see bitch
Oh no
Will
Will itā€™s
Oh no
>:((((((((((((((((((( hannibal Imma fuck you up
Will honey let someone clean your glasses. Does she survive? I hope the girl survives. The Traitor Cannibal Bitch is going with them. Mhm.
Alana tryinā€™ to protect him. (Does she like him? I got bad news, babe, heā€™s gonna fall in love with a man-eater.)
shE SURVIVED??? AND HANNIBAL IS THERE WITH HER???? OMOG??? DOES HE FEEL BAD YET YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU READ THE CANNIBAL WRONG AND HE NEARLY MURDERED HIS FAMILY wait is this chick who everyone calls their daughter oomg??? Is this her????
WHAT WAS THIS SHOW OMG WHAT WAS THIS SHOW
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the-walnut Ā· 6 years
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Night Vale + Scientists
Alrighty, Iā€™m relatively new to this fandom and all, so Iā€™m not entirely sure how well this actually coincides with canon and whatnot, but Iā€™m going to feel free to vocalize this anyway.
We all know from relatively early on in this particularly lovely podcast that Carlos theĀ ā€œPerfectly Imperfectā€ Scientist has an unrivalled passion for the unexplained. The idea of mystery drives him crazy, and he chases blindly after anything that doesnā€™t have a feasible answer, that canā€™t be understood, that seems far too beyond human comprehension to decode- a trait that, I will argue to my last dying breath, is part of why he fell head-over-kettle in love with Cecil Palmer, perhaps the most mysterious and unexplainable character in the show, and the first impossible riddle he wasnā€™t hell-bent on solving
Cecil, though, is the exact opposite of his counterpart. See, Cecilā€™s job is announcing the happenings of Night Vale, not analyzing them. When something occurs out of the ordinary, he doesnā€™t always need aĀ ā€˜whyā€™- in fact, in most regards, Cecilā€™s pretty content to just have a general grasp of whatā€™s going on or what to expect from something and roll with the punches. Animal carcasses raining from the sky? Donā€™t panic, just get a stronger umbrella. The sun didnā€™t rise today? You know, that happens sometimes. Itā€™ll pass!
It makes sense, in this fashion, for the fandom to naturally come to the conclusion that Cecil is terrible when it comes to science. Iā€™ve seen a lot of posts and fanart about the worst accidents in the lab being Cecilā€™s doing, and while theyā€™re amusing, I have another perspective to bring to the metaphorical table.
What we often seem to forget is that, while Carlos always seems to come to the right conclusions at the right times, and make sense of an insensible world, heā€™s still an Outsider. Night Vale is a curious thing to most of its occupants, let alone an individual who wasnā€™t born and raised there. Thereā€™s a lot of stuff about this one unique speck in the desert that even Carlos doesnā€™t know anything about, and I have no doubt in my mind that it would hinder him sometimes.
So instead, in the early stages of their relationship, I can imagine Cecil waking up to a call from a frustrated Carlos, going off on an absolute venting tangent from the lab at 4:37 A.M. And at first, itā€™s a bit of a shock to both of them because, well, from Cecilā€™s end it is 4:37 A.M. on a Wednesday, and heā€™s talking particle theory with a man who probably shouldā€™ve tried getting some sleep three days ago at the rate heā€™s going, but all the other members of Carlosā€™ team have long since gone home, and he usually finds it helpful to go step-by-step through his experiments vocally to catch any mistakes or hash out new ideas.
After at least a full forty-five minutes of Carlos rambling into the phone about how the molecular bonding of this solution shouldnā€™t be even remotely close to what it is, and that he canā€™t understand why it keeps giving off such staggeringly different temperatures with each batch he makes, Cecil (getting over his initial surprise that Carlos is calling him of all people) gently reminds him that maybe heā€™d best rest and think about it again with a clear head.
ā€œTry some of that raspberryĀ oolong Intern Stephen dropped off earlier this week,ā€ He suggests brightly, explaining that itā€™s supposed to help with clarity and that the crushed beetle wings in the mixture hardly throw off the taste at all.Ā ā€œAnd remember to whisper a compliment to the water before you try to boil it- it can get fussy otherwise, you know. I canā€™t tell you how many times Iā€™ve forgotten and wound up with a solid block of ice in my kettle or, worse, the kettle itself melting all over the countertop. Terrible to get out of the carpet later in that case, but as long as youā€™re cordial, it should boil nicely for you.ā€
And at first, thereā€™s dead silence on the other end of the line, before Cecil can hear Carlos scrambling to make a note on this development, because of course he wasnā€™t whispering anything to the water heā€™d used in his experiment, and thatā€™s probably the reason for 74% of the problems heā€™s come across so far.
It doesnā€™t take long for this to become a normal occurrence, Carlos calling in regularly with all kinds of questions and, as before, just needing to talk through something, Cecil offering advice on how to handle certain stuff, or even just talking a while about the things Carlos is working with. More often than not, this leads to some kind of revelation, because while Cecil might not understand the science behind why glass stirring rods need to be used only in a clockwise direction, he at least knows that they justĀ do, and thatā€™s what Carlos needs.
Eventually, this extends to the rest of the lab crew as well, because, yes, they might be Night Vale residents, but thereā€™s a pretty large chunk of information about their town that even they are missing. With how quickly things can come up or change in their spooky little town, it can be impossible to keep track of everything on oneā€™s own. Tentatively at first, but with growing speed, the other scientists begin asking for advice and extra help with info as well.Ā 
Catching on to the trend, a new addition makes its way into Cecilā€™s radio show, where, every day, scientists can send in questions for the citizens of Night Vale, and they can respond accordingly, offering insight. If nothing else, it serves as a reminder to those listening in on the broadcast that their scientists donā€™t miraculously have the answers to everything, and that the downside to having the entire population of your city looking to you for those answers is sometimes not having any.
Even those who donā€™t have knowledge to offer find ways to help. Scientists return home, weary beyond measure from saving their friends and family from yet another disaster, only to find the lights already dimmed and welcoming, old takeout containers thrown away, and bed made. Thereā€™s a note on the table that would be eery and concerning, were it not for the sensation that there had always been a presence in their home, and, if nothing else, this only confirms one of their many hypothesises, setting another theory down to rest. Creatures (that definitely are not angels) appear in the lab every now and then, bringing with them a smiling old woman, and several Big Ricoā€™s pizza boxes, cases of bottled water, and bundles of grapes. Nobody knows why grapes in particular. Maybe the not-angels have an affinity for them. Either way, the mandatory snack break is welcomed by many. Secret police mutter helpful tips from bushes under open windows, and, despite books being banned, once in a blue moon a torn-out page from some volume makes itā€™s way onto a given scientistā€™s lab table, curating many more questions, and causing many to reevaluate their perceptions of the harrowing librarians, the hooded figures who show no fear of them, and the public library itself.
Night Vale is a place of mystery and intrigue and danger- but it is also a place of people bonded by experience and survival. Itā€™s a place called ā€œhomeā€ by many, even if they do not necessarily understand it, and these are the people who save this city by supporting discovery in their own littleĀ ways. Night Vale loves its scientists, and it will do what it can to help them understand it even a little bit more.
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