#I might make some of them going to Boston lol

[oneforthemunny]

oooh could we get some hockey!eddie, visiting/surprising him at practice, flufffffff 💕💕

for the sweetest most polite anon lol! hockey player!eddie who's birthday happens to fall during the training season.

"He's gonna be so stoked." Chris, the team manager grinned, pushing the heavy stadium door open for you.

"I hope so." You smiled gently, ducking under his arm, following him down the long, cinderblock stadium.

It was still so cold, despite the heat cranked high everywhere. Boston in the winter was brutal, winter time worse than Indiana's ever could imagine. It was a miracle you'd even made it, didn't get snowed in and grounded at the airport with all the snow.

"No, he's gonna love it, trust me." Chris grinned. "I got some of the guys in on it too, hope you don't mind. Just his coach and his agent. I told them he had an interview after practice."

"An interview?" You lifted a brow.

Chris snickered. "Yeah, he thinks you're with ESPN so just go with it." He shrugged. "I knew if I just told him to stay, he'd get suspect. Plus, this is gonna be fucking priceless."

You giggled lightly, following Chris around the hallway. A few players lingering around, most cleared out for the evening, but no sign of your curly headed love.

"Hey, Franco. Munson's in the conference room, right?" Chris nodded towards the closed door, the other man grunting in response. "Cool, hey, stay right here, ok? I'm gonna make sure he's ready and set up."

You nodded, standing to the side, a knuckled grip on your purse strap. Your tummy flipped with excitement, maybe nerves. It had been a few weeks since you'd seen Eddie, since he'd left for training season. You didn't want to be a distraction, but with his birthday this weekend, you couldn't let him celebrate alone. Especially not after he sounded so sad, so disheartened on the phone- he missed you, told you every single day, every time he called.

"...Perfect, one sec. I'll tell her you're ready." Chris opened the door, pulling you from your thoughts. He waved at you, stepping out with door still half opened. "I'll leave you two alone, but if you need me, I'm right out here."

Your heart fluttered, flipped and skipped with nerves, pushing the door open, sliding into view. You caught a glimpse at Eddie before he fully saw you, finger drumming on the desk, in sweatpants and a sweatshirt with the team's logo proudly on the front, hair still a little damp from his shower.

Your breath hitched, watching his face fall in shock once he saw you. A pause filled the space between you two, the door clicking with a shut behind you.

"Oh, no way." Eddie gawked, blinking hard, like he might be hallucinating. "N-No way. Is this real? Holy shit, you-you're- Baby, what are you doing here?" He stood from the table, tripping over it, the metal legs screeching when he shoved it.

"Surprise." You squeaked, opening your arms to hug him.

Eddie nearly tackled you in a hug, squeezing you tightly to him. "Holy shit, I can't believe you're here. You're actually here, I-I thought I was getting interviewed-"

"-No." You giggled, pulling back lightly to look at him. "Just me. I wanted to surprise you for your birthday."

Eddie's face lit up, lips curling in an even brighter smile. His hands cupped either side of your face, lips on yours, pulling you into a head spinning kiss that screamed I missed you I missed you I missed you.

"I can't believe you're here." Eddie muttered, lips vibrating against yours.

"Happy birthday, baby." You muttered back, fingers raking through his hair. You'd missed him, missed him much more than you realized now that he was standing here in front of you.

Eddie pulled back, looking up at the door. "Chris knew about this?"

You giggled, nodding. "He helped me get my flight and stuff. Picked me up from the airport."

Eddie shook his head, grin still wide on his face. "Chris! You fuckin' liar!" He yelled playfully, the men behind the door howling in laughter. "I thought I was about to get my cover story!"

You laughed, pressing your face to his chest, rocking with him slowly. "This is better though." Eddie added, hugging you tighter to him. "Just for the record, this is way fuckin' better."

[invisiblegarters]

Okay, okay.

After even more thinking maybe just maybe Ray's explosion on Sand was karmic retribution lol.

Because I've been thinking about it and.

Well.

This was not a heat of the moment plan for him. Not even a little. Dude had to get his drink (that poor server jfc what did she ever do to either of those messy bitches), go back to his mom, probably give her a ride home.

And then he still cold bloodedly broke his own phone (which let's be real for someone living like Sand does that is DEDICATION to his goal), then came in laying it on super thick about his mom to Nick so that he'd rush to fix it and lend him his. Sent himself the audio.

Then he called Ray up and invited him out to hang after blowing him off for who knows how long (and Ray clearly thought they were there to make up, okay, I might not be this ship's biggest supporter but even I could see that) just so he can use his feelings for Mew against him.

The conversation was so fucked, too. Sand immediately (and repeatedly I say again I'm not this ship's biggest supporter but one of them was actively trying here and it wasn't Sand) steering it away from Ray's attempts to talk about them to swerve to Mew is just...I love it. Complimenting Mew and saying he can totally see why everyone is in love with him? The way he played the audio right there (you are all so creepy for this my god will you please stop playing that clip at each other like the world's most fucked up game of telephone?). The casual drop that he knows how bad Top is because he also lost a lover to him (oh the parallels he deliberately put down there Sand you evil genius). And then rounding it up with "it's so great Mew has someone who cares about him as much as you."

All the while watching him to see how well his words were taking root. I'm floored because I genuinely thought he was gonna pull some stupid selfless bullshit like "I can't have you but I can give you what you want." Instead he just torpedoed several relationships and all it took was breaking a phone he knows his IT roommate will probably fix for free.

Boston fucking wishes.

It's so mean and I love it my dude is finally showing off just how fucked up he can be when crossed I think this is better than the baseball bat.

[slayerkitty]

Let's Talk About Trust, Baby

I've seen a lot of posts where people are really confused about Mew and where his head might be at with regard to his relationship with Top. Why he hasn't given Top the boyfriend title back, why they haven't had sex yet, etc. That led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about the relationships between the characters and the one thing all relationships need to function - TRUST. If you don't trust your significant other or your friends/family, etc, what kind of relationship can you even have? I tried to break this down in groups/pairs and some of it might not be as thought out, so there may be more on this as the show goes on but here we go.

The Fab Four

So there's a lot of context we're missing about the relationships between our core four dysfunctional besties (Note: So far, Cheum doesn't seem that dysfunctional, you're doing amazing sweetie!) such as how they met, how long have they been friends (what the hell Ray and Mew got up to that one night... *ahem* I digress). Now, we don't have any real answers to these questions (yet) so I'm taking some educated guesses based on my own college experiences and what I've generally picked up from other university BLs typical story telling.

I feel like the four of them met during orientation (except maybe Ray and Mew, I'm waffling on thoughts that they've known each other since high school). Most university BLs set it up that the mains meet during orientation, bond during whatever torture the seniors are putting the freshman through and kind of build their friend groups based on that.

I also feel like they may have gravitated toward each other or remained a group because they're all queer. BLs can go either way on whether or not homophobia exists in their narrative and I think that Only Friends is going the more realistic route (and it's Jojo) so I think that I can definitely see them bonding over being queer. They find an LGBTQ bar and it becomes their thing to do together. Most friendship groups form because people just sort of fall in together due to circumstance and they seem no different.

But do they trust each other? Signs point to yes. (I was shocked too, lol)

Mew and Cheum: We haven't had much focus on her, but he seems to value her opinion and listen to her advice. (We also know that April likes him from the time they've spent together and he likes April, so I would say he and Cheum probably have pretty good trust built up.)

Mew and Boston: He believed without a single doubt when Boston said that Top had never had a lover longer than 3 months and that Top would probably, as Ray put it "nail and bail" once Mew and Top have sex. Cheum also believed Boston. Do I think Boston was lying here? No. But neither do they and that's important. Does Boston trust Mew? I think he does. His issues with Mew are not about trust.

Mew and Ray: These two vibe a little different than the rest of the group. They seem closer; they seem like they've talked about "the deep stuff" (vs maybe superficial topics with their other friends). Their first one on one scene has them talking about Ray's alcoholism seriously (even though Mew doesn't push about it as much as I would have liked) and you can tell there's an intimacy there that the other group members don't share. Whether that stems from whatever it is that happened that night in the video (I am salivating about this, it's delicious, I need more info) or because they've been friends for longer, I don't know.

Let's move on to the pairs:

Cheum and April: Do they trust each other? I assume so? Cheum goes out drinking with the boys at least once a week and April seems okay with that (we haven't heard otherwise), so I'll say yes? (Jojo, I NEED MORE OF THEM. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN ANALYZE. GIVE US MORE.)

Sand and Ray: I'm gonna call this one as Sand does not trust Ray, but Ray trusts Sand. Sand knows that Ray is a walking red flag and he's trying to resist but Ray is making it really hard. *ahem* Ray bailing mid-make out is not helping Sand's trust issue. If you look at how Sand has cared for Ray since episode one, however, Ray most likely trusts Sand. I mean, Ray talked about his mom to Sand. I think that's a biiiig deal.

Mew and Top: Thanks to Boston, neither of them trusts the other. And this, right here, is why Mew has not moved the relationship forward. HE DOESN'T TRUST TOP. He's still worried that Top will "nail and bail". Remember Mew's checklist from episode two? He only checks off "gets along with my friends" (HAH!) and "respects me" but not "doesn't lie to me". We can infer this means it hasn't been marked off since he doesn't mention it to anyone in this episode. Given that a lot of us clocked Mew potentially spotting Boston's trunks on the floor in the shower, along with him questioning if Top was telling the truth about the fire, it's clear this is the one thing holding him back.

If Mew agrees to be Top's boyfriend, then the expectation of sex becomes a lot higher (it shouldn't but that's a different discussion to be had). It's also implied in the narrative (and from Jojo) that Mew is a very structured person and he doesn't like to lose control (re-watch the counter scene from episode one. You know you want to. I'll wait). The moment that Mew realizes that he is way too into what they're doing, he panics because he doesn't have control over the situation.

Up until episode three, Top did trust Mew. He trusted him enough to get vulnerable and then Boston blew it up by fabricating a narrative backed with evidence of...something between Ray and Mew (I'm seriously dying for this scene, I need it).

Another thing I am having thoughts about is that in this episode, Top referred to himself as Mew's boyfriend and so did Cheum and Mew didn't deny it like he did in episode two. When Top's *ahem* "buddy" approached them at the silent disco, it was very clear that Mew expected Top to introduce Mew as his boyfriend and was visibly (if momentarily) upset that he didn't.

Boston and Nick: Yes and no, but also no and no, respectively. So Boston trusts Nick with some things but not everything which leads to him lying, gaslighting and manipulating (he's a triple threat). In turn, Nick lies right back, because what else can he do? (a lot of things actually, oh Nick, you are starting to spiral hard.) This leads Nick to rigging the CCTV video to show on his phone and to wiretap Boston's car, which just shows you his trust in Boston is non-existent.

In conclusion: Trust is another theme the show seems to be exploring: earning it, keeping it, and what you do after trust is broken. I think it can tie back into the ongoing ephemerality discussion as well: trust isn't permanent. You have to earn it, maintain it, and once broken, it's gone (and seldom can be repaired).

Also, everyone needs therapy.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @ranchthoughts, @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Hope I didn't forget anyone!

[sergeifyodorov]

Any interest in grading everyone’s first day of free agency? Would love to hear your thoughts!!

ooh okay ! well as tuned in as i am i didn't catch everything so this is going to be pretty incomplete/fairly uninformed but here's my attempt:

boston bruins: that zadorov contract LOL AND LMAO (i say as if hes not going to immediately skyrocket to excellence.) that lindholm contract might be even worse with the same caveat. A+ for me, a hater

buffalo sabres: what did they even do? C.

detroit red wings: kane is a bad move + jack campbell is fine at that contract + cam talbot is the epitome of "goalies? what's up with goalies?" + why do they have 4 goalies now. C-

florida panthers: lost montour, lost oel, lost lomberg. that reinhart contract is really good though. C+

montreal canadiens: if slaf continues on his upward trajectory that contract looks great; if he doesn't, they're already bad so it doesn't matter all that much. B

ottawa senators: what did they even do? get noah gregor? i hear he's very fast. C.

tampa bay lightning: where do i even start with this one

toronto maple leafs: the problem w/ all of the leafs' acquisitions is that they are Fine, some of them even Good, but they're just overpaid enough for me to not only get annoyed about it but also see 30 ft of insufferably rancid discourse every time i open twitter. B+

carolina hurricanes: appear to have lost half the guys i remember being on their roster, but the one dude they did end up signing was one of the small handful of good deals i saw handed out today. C

columbus blue jackets: this team's quality does not matter. you know what does matter? gaudreau/monahan reunion. A

new jersey devils: brett pesce's good. B+

new york islanders: anthony duclair's good but i mourn what lou lamoriello will make him do with his hair. C+

new york rangers: what did they even do. C.

philadelphia flyers: MATVEI MICHKOV IS COMING. TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TELL YOUR ENEMIES, TELL TRAVIS KONECNY, TELL EVERYONE!!! A

pittsburgh penguins: incredibly committed to the bit of only signing players over 30 and they don't have poj back yet. C

washington capitals: genuine home runs in here. chychrun... pld... matt roy... didn't even give out valuable picks to acquire these assets! A

chicago blackhawks: i think they're trying to crawl out of this rebuild with no other serious potential core members other than bedard, which don't get me wrong is a bad move, but i also think they're not doing a terrible job of crawling out of the rebuild. B

colorado avalanche: kept jo drouin. C+

dallas stars: lyubushkin is incredibly bad and they gave him 3.25 aav. and casey desmith is there. F

minnesota wild: extended one of the sexiest toothless men on earth jake middleton. A

nashville predators: A+

st louis blues: what did they even do. C

utah hockey club: that durzi price is a bit steep but hey, if you've never had the money before i guess you might as well spend it. also sergachev was a BALLSY move i will miss you my cunty mistress. also we (the nhl) have a fucking iginla again... for our health. we need an iginla. B-

winnipeg jets: what did they even do. C

anaheim ducks: what did they even do. C

calgary flames: sharangovich extension + anthony mantha. tidy bit of business. zayne parekh YOU are the 2025 calder trophy winner. C+

edmonton oilers: managed to get a couple good players on nice cheap contracts, improved their rush game even more somehow, and will have to re-print their goalie's jerseys because they now have two different guys named skinner. A

la kings: gave joel edmundson nearly 4 million dollars a year. D

seattle kraken: stole brandon montour from florida. B+

san jose sharks: unlike the hawks, seem to be actively prepared to break out of the rebuild and trying to do it. toffoli? great! wennberg? a little overpaid but they're trying to hit the cap floor at this point so it's quite good! rumours of pavs return to san jose but you didn't hear it from me. B+

vancouver canucks: jake debrusk is gonna be a good linemate for petey imho. the hronek and myers contracts were a little rich but honestly they seem to be a lot more coherent ideologically than they were just a couple years ago. B

vegas golden knights: basically lost every remaining original misfit/otherwise quality forward in an effort to keep marchessault, and then lost marchessault anyway to the Power Of Divorce. and now they have ilya samsonov as their starting goaltender. F

[thatgirl4815]

Only Friends Predictions

Purely for my own entertainment, I want to make Only Friends predictions now so that I can refer to them later and see how accurate they turn out to be (which I don’t have too high of hopes for, but I’m gonna go for it anyway). I’m gonna make these attempts based on what we know so far/what some members of the cast have said.

I would be really interested though to see other predictions? Who do you think will end up together? Speculating is the only way I know to pass the time before it airs, lol.

In short:

- Ray and Sand will end up together. 

- Boston and Nick will be split. Boston will still be alone, but Nick will have moved on to someone new. 

- Top will have cut ties with the group after Boston ruins his relationship with Mew. Mew and Ray will continue to be friends, but Mew will remain alone (but content). 

Of course, this could be totally off, but I’m going with it now based purely on ✨vibes✨

Getting into the details...

SandRay

First and Khaotung said that their storyline is emotional compared to the hotness of the other couples’ storylines. I also know that Jojo has a thing for mixing up established pairings. As we’ve seen, the messiness of SandRay’s relationship really revolves around Ray’s feelings for Mew. But if they keep Sand’s characterization from the trailer, he won’t stand for any of Ray’s crap (“I won’t be in anyone’s choices.”). Does this mean Sand will end things and leave Ray to grovel for his affections again? Will Ray confess to Mew, and come crawling back to Sand after being rejected? Will Sand keep standing up for himself, or will Ray make some grand gesture to win him back? Can he be won back?

Even though this series is being marketed as messy, toxic, and chaotic, I’m certain there will be some core thematic aspects at play in each characters’ relationships. For SandRay (and BostonNick, I’d argue), self-worth could be a fundamental aspect. How much do you value the relationship, versus how much do you value yourself? I also wonder to what extent there could be a privilege check for Ray’s character. We know he’s wealthy and a playboy, but will his wealth create a division between him and Sand? Will Ray change himself? Obviously I’m posing a lot of questions, but until we get more info, I’m going to predict that Ray and Sand will end up together in the end, mostly because I think Ray navigating his feelings for both Sand and Mew--and coming to terms with what these feelings say about himself--would find its natural conclusion in Sand. Given what FirstKhao have said about how emotional their storyline is, I think it’s clear the feelings run deep for both of them. Also, I’m getting the sense from the trailer that Ray’s crush on Mew is unrequited.

Finally, FirstKhao have made a comment about their characters ending up together. They did say this before filming I believe, so might take it with a grain of salt. 

BostonNick

My biggest dilemma at this point is figuring out how the SandRay plot will differ from the BostonNick one, because both Nick and Sand and Boston and Ray are in a similar position. Nick, to me, seems more likely to beg for Boston’s affection while Sand seems more ready to let all hell break loose and cut ties. In other words, Sand’s reaction in the trailer might indicate that he values himself too much to stand for Ray’s indecision from the get go. For Nick, this could be more of a slow-building awareness. By that I mean, I could see Nick coming to understand that Boston doesn’t deserve his affection if he’s going to disregard his feelings and treat him as a fwb when Nick keeps pushing for something more. I could see Nick making a stand, essentially telling Boston “him or me?” and Boston choosing Top...only for Top to cut ties with Boston after messing up his relationship with Mew. In short, I foresee Boston getting the worst outcome of everyone. But maybe this is just because he seems to be responsible for most of the chaos in the trailer.

TopMew

Top and Mew as an established couple in the trailer seems like the most likely endgame--and that’s exactly why I think they won’t end up together. I have a hard time believing Mew will just let Top off once he knows about his relationship with Boston. (I’m operating under the assumption here that Boston and Top resume their affair while Top and Mew are together...at least for a little while.) I could see Top keeping up his fwb relationship with Boston for a short time into his relationship with Mew, but as he gets more serious about Mew, he tries to cut things off with Boston. And that’s when the whole situation gets out of hand and Boston essentially confesses to Mew about their secret relationship. 

Mew is also presented as content with his solitude; he only pursues a relationship with Top when Boston pairs them up. If anything, this entire situation could serve as a lesson for him. And if I’m right in predicting (hoping) that Ray will undergo a big moral shift from beginning to end, then I could see their friendship being a core part of the series. (I think it would also be good representation to keep them together as healthy friends despite Ray’s previous crush.) 

...As for how Sea could factor into any of this (if he really is going to play some part in the series), I’ve seen speculation that he could be a possible love interest for Sand. I think it would depend on how big of a role he’s given. I’m sure it’ll be a cameo either way, but how much of one is questionable. He could be involved in an episode or two to stir up some drama and equal things out between Sand and Ray; I think that’s a strong possibility (and the drama would be oh so juicy). Or maybe he ends up with Nick, if Nick moves on from Boston? So many possibilities.

- X - 

OK, so that’s my thought process at this current moment, but tomorrow I could have a wildly different one. If anyone is thinking completely differently, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, I’m gonna go stew over this some more until we finally get a trailer (Jojo, I’m begging). 

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 2 ("I PROMISED YOU THE MOONSHINE") EDITION

Being a day late to watching and writing about Only Friends allows me a little airspace away from the gasps and dopamine of the collective community first watch of each episode, and lemme tell ya -- my dash yesterday was so hot, it was like melting Tupperware on a stove. Unfortunately for many in the fandom, the ships are going to sink. That shower scene got some folks wrecked. Many folks on my dash have a sudden disdain for Neo Trai (poor kiddo). For anyone who reads around here, you might remember my implored begging of the Tumblr family to watch Gay OK Bangkok before Only Friends premiered, and I still stand by it. The Only Friends team -- Jojo Tichakorn, Ninew Pinya, writers Den Panuwat and Best Kittisak -- are playing with a lot of concepts that I thought were just FABULOUSLY explored in this second episode, and these concepts ARE going to lead to further innuendos and endings that the shippers are just not going to like. (I think GOKB primed us for this.) And frankly, by the way this episode played out (as we were talking about a couple days ago, @lurkingshan) -- I think that's a hell of a point that the team is making in our faces.

I'm going to get to this more in a moment. Let me explain more, by way, of all things (!) -- plum wine.

So a bunch of us meta clowns (cc @ranchthoughts, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan) were talking about a theory I had on Friday regarding the theme of ephemerality in the first episode. How Cheum indicated to Mew that there's a lot in Thailand that'll bring them down, from pollution to radiation. She wanted Mew to nab Top -- she indicated that life is fickle, so what did her homeboy have to lose? Go get yer man, she said.

@ranchthoughts, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan and I took this conversation further yesterday (please read all the reblogs on this link, folks, it's a great conversation!), exploring the many more references to the ephemeral, fickle nature of time and life that Only Friends is referencing. @chickenstrangers clocked that Yo's bar is called YOLO. @ranchthoughts clocked that Sand's bag of plum wine read "you only live once." @lurkingshan noted that Jojo's played around with the ephemeral before -- in Gay OK Bangkok, examining the impact of HIV on Bangkok's gay male population.

The reblogs of the post linked above also capture some common mentalities about the "future" for our current crop of young folks today (I... am not young, lol), particularly for the young queer community. That through climate change, the slow-snail-paced fight for equity (like the legalization of same-sex marriage in Thailand) (and even comparing it to the roll-back of rights for the LGBTQ+ community in the States) -- as @ranchthoughts wrote, there seems to be a stronger sense of "live fast, die young," among younger cohorts than when I was a young lass, born in the 1980s, when a middle management career could get you everything you needed, with a unfettered retirement in sight.

To me, the most wrenching references to the ephemeral in this second episode focused on death. "Do you want us to die?," Sand asked laughingly as Ray played around in the car. Top can't sleep alone because after a childhood trauma, he's afraid he'll die alone. Ray's deceased mom is shown with a glass in her hand.

And how are these young folks behaving? In the face of literal death, as they themselves are referring to it: they're living life very riskily. Top's a player. So is Boston. We hope they're playing safe. (Gay OK Bangkok had condoms all over the place. I haven't seen any yet in OF.) Ray's blood alcohol levels are clearly through the roof. Sand's committing a crime.

Say what now? Committing a crime?

I hope folks clocked that. What's REALLY making me shake my head is how slick the non-sexual commentary was in this episode.

Going back to my original post on ephemerality that I let loose on Friday: I talked about the metaphor of plum wine and the passage of time -- how plum wine tastes sweeter and better as you let it age.

Sand was pissed that his bottles of plum wine broke because he's making it himself. That's why he wanted Ray to pay him back for the lost supply. Sand lost both product AND time.

Making and selling plum wine is illegal in Thailand. It's like the selling of rotgut during Prohibition.

SAY WHAT? For real. Thailand's laws around alcohol are wild, y'all. The display of alcohol logos is weirdly regulated (I laugh at how bottles are often blurred out in Thai dramas), brewing alcohol within Thailand is insanely complicated (some people brew alcohol in Thailand, then bottle it elsewhere and import it BACK into Thailand to skirt these laws), and -- you cannot buy alcohol from 2 pm to 5 pm.

Remember we saw Ray sneaking some sips from a flask outside the hostel site? That's a major flag for confirmed alcoholism (drinking alone during the day). But also, if Ray wanted a drink during the hours of 2-5 pm -- he had to have the booze on himself to have a tipple.

We know Jojo does NOT shy away from political commentary. We saw it in spades during Dirty Laundry.

What I love about Jojo's work is that he's unafraid to call out the hypocrisy of these kinds of laws. The making of plum wine is ILLEGAL? In Japan, making umeshu is traditional. (It's also the easiest and most delicious thing ever, please try making it!). For many of us around the world, making umeshu is a hobby, and a perfectly safe one at that. Considering Thailand's economy is so dependent on tourism, and that Bangkok itself is a world-class city, you would think that the selling of alcohol wouldn't be so complicated, and yet... 'tis.

This leads me to what I saw as the second Big Theme of this episode, besides ephemerality: I saw a lot of hypocrisy in this episode.

We got the liquor laws bullshit. We got Boston. Boston strikes me as a hypocrite for setting up his friend Mew with Top -- all while Boston's still wanting to get with Top, to the point of sneaking into Top's shower.

And Mew strikes me as a hypocrite, too. He wants to "redo" the start of his relationship with Top?... on his own terms? So, they're not boyfriends anymore? After already....having dated? Believable, my dude. The guys are in a PatPran-esque battle of... something, and I don't think it's wits, because neither of them seem to have many wits about them. They seem to be more interested in just winning a goal that (except for sex for Top) seems wholly unclear. Does Mew not know that Top may very well NOT respect Mew? Is Mew aware that his read on Top may not be at all accurate? And.... does Mew actually care? I'm not convinced of it.

Live fast, die young. What does it matter to be a hypocrite if the future is unstable, if time is speeding by -- and if no one is holding these young folks accountable for their behavior, as I put into the tags of @ranchthoughts's post yesterday? As Nick says to Boston: "you're a rich guy -- you don't care much for things." What, exactly, would make these rich kids care about being ethical human beings?

Accountability is around the corner for this group. Nick is starting to catch feelings. Boston is wondering why he's getting rejected by Top. Sand's recognizing that Ray's sniffing out something between them (cc @neuroticbookworm) (and, who knows, as NBW first referenced in her post -- Sand might be catching feelings, too). All of these friends -- it's mindblowing! -- leave Ray alone, often, wasted off his ass, to get himself home, as Sand himself notes.

These characters are going to get hurt, and it's only a matter of time until we begin seeing it happen. At the micro-level, human to human, they will hurt each other. And society, Thai society, is doing these young people no favors by not helping to equalize the inequity between rich and poor -- as Sand has to take risks to sell illegal hooch, of all things, to just get by.

Wrapping this up with what I was mentioning up at the top about the jibbles that the fandoms are starting to feel towards the established GMMTV ships of this show slowly sinking. Isn't there a bit of hypocrisy there as well? This show is NOT going to be pretty for the ForceBook/FirstKhao established ships. What are we, as fans, going to do when that time comes? Will we condemn Jojo? Will we stop watching the show? Will we equivocate by way of blaming other characters?

This show should be celebrated already for the risks it's taking, and the risks it will take. (Remember: fans protested at the GMMTV building in 2019 when the KristSingto ship was broken for He's Coming To Me.) Only Friends deciding to take on the toxicity and hypocrisy of shipper fandom? Bring it on. We cannot only enjoy the performances of these actors when they're paired up with one repeating partner. As the life of Gay OK Bangkok depicted, as the life of Only Friends is depicting -- life is a whole lot more complicated than just a dreamlike, over-organized monogamy between two people (ahem, Mew). Life -- and TIME -- will bring complications and change, sometimes unwanted change, that we have to learn to handle and manage. I'm not colored surprised in the least that Jojo's making this experience for us jump out of the screen and into our own hearts, as we see our beloved actors take risks upon themselves by their breaking of their own ships. I am all here for it, and I hope the shipper fans can be, too.

(BIG UPS to the small meta army family -- @ranchthoughts, @lurkingshan, @chickenstrangers, @neuroticbookworm -- I'm so thrilled to continue being thoughtful with y'all!)

[another-lost-mc]

JES YOU UPDATED, the kids miss you/j

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing, if that makes sense. Well, maybe not nothing - a random assortment of rl and blog odds-and-ends that don't seem very productive but I'm going to call it self-care. lol

(read more cause this got longer than I thought it would.)

I don't usually take March Break off work, but my empty schedule this year surprised me and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I spent the first few days fending off a persistent headache, then I spent some time re-watching Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel while I worked on some crossover/fusion potential with OM. Today the headache is back and I'm dog-sitting which shouldn't be as distracting as it is. (She's only a little Boston Terrier but my cats get all worked up about it even though they're the ones stalking her around the house for no reason.)

I've also been playing Honkai Star Rail. I have no idea what I'm doing but it's kind of fun. I want to give Genshin Impact a try too, but I'm not sure I want to play both. (I know dailies are optional blah blah blah but if I'm going to spend time doing busywork like that, I might as well go back to playing WoW.)

Someone sent me another ask about my current WIPs so I think I'll just ramble about them here.

The canon cast and OC post for surgery!anon. I'm trying to balance fluff and angst and realism and make it comforting at the same time (aka what I would've wanted to read before mine). There's some overlap with a post about Solomon's humanity that's it's own separate WIP.

Naming conventions in the Devildom and CR. These are my worldbuilding ideas to explain how Solomon has an established pact with Bathin (my OC for Mephisto's younger brother) since he's part of the Ars Goetia. This also discusses how those same ideas apply to Luke.

Fleshing out the angel OC stuff with Gabriel and Uriel. They're situated in the AU where MC is sent to the CR for the exchange program and not the Devildom which is why I haven't talked about them much. I have the fem!angel OC as well but I don't know what to name her (I want her to be like Zee where she's an "ordinary" angel). To be fair, she's probably not going to show up much outside of the story I originally wrote for her.

Genderbending-the-OCs anon, you have no idea what this is doing to me. It changes their kinks and their dynamics and how they would approach MC and I am mentally screaming into a pillow right now.

I've been writing directly in my Tumblr drafts lately, but I found a holiday fic for Solomon in my google docs. I thought it was a WIP but then I re-read it and it turns out I actually finished it and somehow forgot about it? Like...how does someone even do that. Anyway, do we want a smutty Solomon Xmas-in-March fic? (It's only holiday-ish because of a corny mistletoe joke on his part.)

On a random note, part of me regrets not making separate blogs for AT and my OCs (for organizational purposes) and I'm lowkey tempted to do it anyway.

If you read all this, you get a prize! Enjoy some chibis that I've been collecting like they're for my OC Pokedex. These are by sempa and ocha respectively.

[prettyoddfever]

the sun/moon theory doesn’t actually make sense

The pictures above are from 9/23/06, which was the only time that Ryan wore blue makeup at the same time that Brendon wore yellow makeup. The guys weren’t the ones who came up with their look, either. That makeup came from Pieter M van Hattem’s heavily styled photoshoot earlier that day and then the band wore the leftover makeup to the Boost Mobile RockCorps performance. 

Now fast forward almost a year to when they were working on Pretty. Odd. songs...

The Pretty. Odd. lyrics had a lot of weather references because the band wrote most of the album while sitting in Ryan’s backyard on drugs and looking at clouds or whatever you see at night in the desert. Brendon told the Boston Globe that “I’m sure if the weather was really horrible, [the new album] might’ve sounded different. It definitely needed to be what it was for us to write those songs.” Brendon also said: 

“We spent a lot of time outside when we were writing the record. We wrote it in the hottest month of the year in Las Vegas. We had a weird sleeping schedule, too. We pretty much stayed up all night and slept during the day just because it is so hot there. So we spent a lot of time looking at the stars and enjoying and experiencing the weather so I think that had a very direct influence on us.”

Then weather and clouds and nature became part of the Pretty. Odd. era’s early theme that the band talked about (also look at the custom car they designed, or the set design for the Honda Civic Tour where Ryan said they wanted to make it feel like the show was happening outdoors). Flowers, weather, the sun & moon, and nature in general were part of that era because that’s what influenced the band while they were writing the songs (and also Jon Walker exists lol. he had a major influence on that album). A big theme with their songwriting in summer 2007 was to keep things simple & lighthearted.

WTDMTN was one of the early songs that they wrote that summer (the band played it for the first time on August 5th). Their interviews made it sound like the guys just watched night meet day a lot that summer, took some drugs, and wrote a cute story. Jon seemed so happy with that song’s fairy tale quality too! He said “We had this idea that the day and the night met each other… it’s basically a fairytale story about two times a day falling in love with each other and the world being day & night at the same time consecutively somehow.” Ryan said this song was like a kid’s story. He had also spent over half a year working on the cabin album’s fairytale-esque storyline (with Spencer’s help) and it had become so elaborate that he was considering writing an accompanying book. Just because they scrapped the cabin album and majorly switched directions for their second album doesn’t mean they lost all of their previous interests... it made sense that they might still gravitate towards a fairy-tale quality a bit.

I think the idea that anything on Pretty. Odd. could actually have some Ryden subtext comes from people who weren’t closely observing the season when the band wrote those lyrics. Brendon & Ryan were not that close in the last half of 2007. Ryan was way better friends with Jon by that summer... they talked about living together, watching movies or writing songs together in the middle of the night, going bowling or to see movies, etc. They were definitely close. There were pictures of them hanging out offstage. Ryan hung out with a lot of other Vegas friends throughout 2007 too. Meanwhile, Brendon talked about hanging out with Spencer and Shane that fall. Brendon & Ryan were together when they had to do band-related events (but even a few of those moments showed a shifting dynamic between the two guys). The guys were definitely still friends! But it’s a stretch when you try to paint a picture where they were in love & obsessed with each other this season to the point of writing lyrics about each other.

The only part of all the sun/moon conspiracy stuff that even slightly works is the idea that Jon Walker might have used the reference as a code in his post-split lyrics to get his own point across (ex: then his lyrics would imply that he doesn’t need Ryan & Brendon to tell him what to do). That doesn’t mean anything beyond the fact that Jon had always been super aware of what the fandom was saying and knew how to communicate on our level. Seriously, he followed the talk online in 2006-2007 SO closely and would even leave subtle references in his journal entries to things the fandom was talking about. Sometimes he was just messing with us (example at the bottom of this post). Some fans had actual “hi Jon” icons on lj towards the end of the Fever era because most people knew he was watching. In October 2006 the PATD livejournal got set to private for a short time and Jon posted on the band’s website “whats with the live journal being down, someone fix it :(” because now he couldn’t properly creep on that particular fan community while the band was on tour lol. 

He shared SO much of his photography with fans (including in the band’s album and his picturesatthedisco photobucket) and was just way more involved with us than the other 3 guys. So any sun/moon reference that Jon might have made in his own lyrics later on doesn’t exactly prove anything about the whole Ryden sun/moon conspiracy. It only proves that Jon was still in touch with his fanbase and could use their references.

[grantmentis]

I have no idea who to cheer for in the new league. I loved the Boston Pride but I cannot bring myself to root for the new Boston team right now because of their captain. My NHL team isn't close enough to any of the teams for me to have any geographical reason to follow.

If you had one reason to follow any of the teams, what would it be? Like if someone said "why should I root for this team?" what would you tell them to try to sell them on it?

I might break the one reason thing a little bit my apologies in advance but I’ll keep it brief!

PWHL New York - they’re underdogs and the most blank slate team, not having many nearby college programs. Very fast team with a lot of snipers. Their defense is very fun because it’s all players 26 and younger and then 33 year old SDHL legend Johanna Fällman who made the team out of camp who I think will really be an anchor on a d core with a lot of players who have no/little pro experience. I think this team is also the meanest team (affectionate) if you love some grit. And of course, Corinne Schroeder.

PWHL Minnesota - team for if you like to see prospects turn into stars (or continue to be stars Lol.) As the only Midwest team at the moment I think they’ll have the most foster consistency In the first few years if that is important to you even for players on one year deals. So many players like buchbinder, heise, zumwinkle who’ve been deservedly hyped and performed well in college/internationally making their debut and Minnesota will likely have an advantage getting some of those WCHA players even with the draft. If you’re big into college hockey, this should be your pick.

PWHL Ottawa - if you’re a fan of the global game, this is the team for you. Germany, Japan, Hungary, czechia all represented on this team. With all due respect to Jenner who is fantastic, this will probably heavily be a scoring by committee team and I think has the most balanced forward group in terms of most lines will probably be interchangeable which is something I find very fun. Lexie adzija also is very funny on tiktok

PWHL Toronto - if you’re a big team Canada fan, this is the team for you. Besides having the gm and coaches who were in charge of team Canada, all but two players on their team are Canadian and most have spent some time on either the junior or senior national team. If you’re big into puck moving defenders with good stick handling skills, this team has a lot of them between Flanagan / poulin-labelle / larocque / munroe. This may also be the best dressed team between nurse / Jackson / Flanagan / maltais

PWHL Montreal - if you’re a big analytics nerd and love crazy forechecking and two way forwards, this team is for you. This team is full of beloved veterans and I think both them and Ottawa have a lot of former phf players. Dominika lásková on top of being elite is a bundle of joy

PWHL Boston - I know you said you’re unlikely to root for them but I’ll include em anyway. I’ll admit this is the team that I have the hardest time grasping the identity of, despite all the talent on the roster, but they do look like a team that’s posed to be very consistent throughout the year with some of the best goaltending in the league. That said, my reason for watching them is going to deviate from my other teams. Alina Müller Is a reason to watch on her own, imo, she is the most exciting player in the league and every time she touches the ice is much watch tv.

[le-trash-prince]

OF Episode 6 Thoughts: Top/Mew

I finally got to watch this week’s ep and there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I have too many thoughts so I’m splitting them between posts.

First of all: What a fucking episode. I was either laughing or screaming the entire time. I love this shit so much. Everyone in this group sucks!

Mew's bi momma! 🙌

When Mew said “I want you to meet my parents at the end of the year” and then “But don’t count on us still being together” I was like “What the fuck Mew?” LOL. Like Mew, I know you will probably never understand this, but just because you are not seeing anyone else doesn't mean that you are emotionally committed to this relationship. You keep pulling back and giving mixed signals!

“I think the reason I was fine without a relationship was because I got enough love from family and friends” Mew how about you recognize that you’re demi instead of psychoanalyzing your slutty friends!

Tbh tho, I know it's really hard to come to terms with your own sexuality, especially when it's so different from everyone around you. We try to come up with reasons as to why people are different, rather than being able to accept that these differences can be inherent to who we are as people.

I think this episode showed more than any other just how genuine Top’s feelings for Mew really are. And of course this had to be the episode it all came crashing down.

Like the notebook of drawings he gave him? That was super sweet and thoughtful as a gift—ppl prob expect someone like Top to just throw money at his lovers but instead he put time and effort into his gift. You can’t draw someone like that without really looking at them. There wasn’t anything in that gift that said "fuckboy" or “I’m doing this just so you will sleep with me.”

Felt like there was an intentional parallel between Top kissing Mew’s forehead while he was asleep and Ray kissing Mew on the mouth.

I feel like I need to rewatch to process “Mew and Ray get in a fight” and “Ray gave Mew the audio file and Mew believed him”

When Mew and Top got home, I loved how the change and tension felt tangible. Like something about Mew going into the bedroom by himself and leaving Top in the living room spoke to a barrier between them

Mew pinning Top to the bed did a lot of things for me thanks 👍

“I love the way you sound in bed” honestly some cinematic poetry, I was hollering.

As much as I feel like Top was coerced into sleeping with Boston, what can he even say to defend himself with? “I didn’t want to sleep with him?” Well it sure sounded like you did. “I did it because I thought you lied to me?” Yeah that’s not gonna make Mew understand. Lol. Again, I don't know if Top even knows if he's allowed to not want to have sex with someone.

It’s a hard situation with a lot of grey area! And even tho we kind of knew this was how Mew was gonna find out, it's the worst way for him to find out.

Of course Mew is going to be hurt. This is like the worst outcome for him, and it revealed a lot of his insecurities around his lack of sexual experience. Especially after talking big at the beginning "My senses are always correct and I know everything there is to know about love."

I wonder if he even blamed himself for being bad at sex as to why he didn’t enjoy his first time with Top all that much, rather than it simply being that he might not really get much out of sex at all. It's okay if you don't want sex, Mew, or if you don't enjoy it, or even if it takes time for you to enjoy it!

“I’m not worth enough for you to love only me.” Mew. Mew. *shakes him* First of all, Top thinks Boston is a pile of burnable trash. He does not love that man! Second of all, please don’t tie self worth to romantic love or to ideals of monogamy. It is never going to end well.

Again, "I think the reason I was fine without a relationship is because I got so much love from family and friends." Mew are you being honest with yourself? You even said yourself that the reason you slept with Top was because you were worried about him getting bored with you.

I may have mentioned this before, but I think the reason that "mastermind Mew" was so popular with the fandom at the beginning of the series is because people wanted it to be true, because if Mew had seen this coming, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I don't think it came from "we think Mew is evil or manipulative or whatever," I think we just didn't want to watch a person as naive as Mew get hurt. Because that's what happens the majority of the time in real life. People get hurt.

Sad lonely himbo Top in the bathtub 👍

Overall, I really enjoy watching their relationship. It's very complicated; it's nowhere near as straightforward as a "fuckboy cheats on his virgin boyfriend" plotline could easily be. I don't think they had a solid foundation for their relationship. They enjoy their dates, but there hasn't been a lot of great communication between them, which as I mentioned on a previous post, is very normal, especially for a first or second relationship. And for both of them, I think this is their first real attempt at a relationship, and neither of them know what they're doing.

In the preview, we see a clip of Mew in the bathtub where his expression changes, and it really looks like a symbolic transformation to me. Whether we get revenge era Mew or "let's try this again with more emotional transparency" Mew, I'm here for it.

[forcebookish]

either take ofs away from me or let me rewrite it

for example: what was the fucking point of those sus "ooooh is top cheeeeeeating" shots with beam and boeing when we already knew the circumstances of why he slept with boston? like. if they were going to do something like that, why show us all the build-up and boston's creepy, predatory behavior from the jump? that boston had to go out of his way to trick top into sleeping with him? and that top wasn't interested in anyone other than mew?

boston's desire for top is established as one-sided in the first episode and they don't bother to write in any instance of top cheating on a previous boyfriend (even though they very easily could have with boeing; that could have been the actual reason they broke up, not just that top "ditched" him because he got "bored," a reason that was only ever implied - and for some reason no one bothered to take into account the fact that boeing only dated top for his money/power in the first place lmao). his sleeping with boston is in direct response to thinking that mew is cheating on him. of course, there are ways to make that work from a possessive, double-standard angle, but they never establish if top is interested in anyone other than mew or has wandering eyes - in fact, they deliberately do the opposite in ep5. he's always all about mew - that's why boston has to go to such drastic measures to coerce top into sleeping with him.

the only way the fake-outs would have worked (from a writing standpoint, not from a "the fandom was so braindead they believed anything that confirmed their bias" standpoint lol) was if we didn't see why top slept with boston and it was only revealed when mew found out - and mew has to find out the whole truth, including the assaults, and listen to the whole recording.

how it would go down under the cut because i can't stop thinking about it and i wrote way too much. i also wanted to solve the boeing problem and some other things... i wrote this in a fugue state ok:

ep 1:

we only see boston ogling top's dick, but not him touching his hand; here it shows their first time together (instead of in ep2), but not that boston has been trying to get into his pants again ever since and top has repeatedly rejected him. top still gets annoyed at the implication that he will break mew's heart

ep2, after the cookie scene:

top and yo have an actual conversation lol she comments that he seems to be very serious about mew and that she's never seen either of them like this before, warns him not to fuck it up and he's very earnest about his interest. he could also talk on the phone with a friend (boeing, but the name is all we know) about how he's never felt this way about someone - it has to be well-established even when he's alone that he's genuinely into and willing to fall for mew to make it clear that none of his feelings and actions with mew are fake.

boston goes into top's shower (THAT'S IT, we don't see him shove him or grope him; it's just established that he wants him and the implication is that top wants him back because there hasn't been any evidence otherwise) -> cut back to mew and everyone else chatting about how great top is, mew walks to shower and calls out to top -> cut to top and boston freaking out about being caught

ep3:

top and mew go to the silent disco, same shit goes down with beam - HOWEVER instead of keeping the scene with beam showing up at top's house after boston attacks him in the elevator in ep4 (the silent disco date was in ep4 in the original script). mew tells him that he can't stay over

top finds that he's out of sleeping pills and calls beam, thus implying that he might have chosen to have sex with someone else. that 'sup nod still works.

at the party, top speaks affectionately about mew and that he'll take care of him to boston, it's made clear that he really cares for him and that he's serious about him

he's visibly uncomfortable with boston's flirting, but the audience can glean that it's because he doesn't want to "cheat" again

nick sees boston hold up his phone and top being agitated about it, but we don't learn the details

the audience is made to believe that boston has video evidence of their first time at the bar in the photobooth as nick thinks back to the "hot night!" film strip he found

we don't see top and boston fuck until it's revealed that nick bugged boston's car and he's standing there crying

ep4:

the confrontation with boston in the elevator can go down almost exactly as it did, although the references to the photos/videos (and in this version, there would be a sex tape, it's just ludicrous that top would freak out that bad over a kiss two years ago) are vague and can still be interpreted as ones about top and boston by the audience. boston can still reiterate that mew is messing with his head and that he and ray are probably screwing, which can plant the seed in the audience's mind that boston is lying to top and there's something more going on

top and mew have their fight about ray and mew admits that ray kissed him last night (it'd also be nice if mew said, like, fucking anything to ray about him being a total shitweasel to top but whatever)

mew asks about beam -> we find out that beam is a drug dealer and top admits they used to sleep together sometimes -> a flashback shows us that beam took advantage of top when he was high, but he doesn't mention it to mew, establishing his shame around being assaulted and freezing up when there are unwanted sexual advances

ep5:

now there COULD be a flashback to the shower scene when top and boston make eye contact at the pool - but it also could be shown in ep7, i'll say at what point when we get there.

ep6:

it's explicit that sand edits the audio to only include the moans and nick only knows that sand copied it (if he stole it, there could be a whole thing in ep7 where he finds out that he edited it and gets it for mew). everything else goes down the same, except that when mew asks about top lying about his dad and driving back to the party, a flashback shows top getting into the car and boston manipulating him. when mew screams, "did you!?" the flashback ends and it's clear that top has stayed silent.

OR!!!!!!! both flashbacks could be moved to ep7:

top tells mew about boston tricking him with a video of him and ray

to make the boeing gotcha work, it'd have to be here that he calls him and asks him to come over without the flashbacks in ep5 and 6, it's explicitly shown on his phone that the person he's calling is boeing

mew realizes there may be more to the tape and asks ray where he got it

(there would have to be something else that happens that doesn't involve ray that makes top think that he'll never get mew back and he tries to move on for this to work but) top brings a man over, implied to be boeing (but it's a the rando like in the original cut) and we see them kiss and start to get busy

mew confronts sand about the tape and sand admits that he edited it, explains that he did it to hurt top because he stole his ex, boeing, but that he didn't think it'd go this far and get all messed up; this can also be how mew finds out about ray's injury

during their confrontation, boston implies that it was hard getting top back and he wonders aloud how a "top-tier" could possibly like mew, this can be what sets him off but also makes him think there could be a clue to top's feelings in the full audio

mew confronts nick about the rest of the recording and NOW there is the full flashback of the car scene when nick plays it for him; mew is horrified and actually understands the gravity of what boston did lol

after mew steals the sex tape from gap, he promises boston that he won't leak is as long as he tells him every last morbid detail of his and top's sexual relationship and what he meant by having a hard time getting with him and how he got ahold of the photos/videos (in this version, the video can be another of gap's where you can't see the faces and boston could have told top that it was taken at the hostel after nick installed the cameras... although i guess that would have been established in the tape already. sorry i'm mostly making this up as i go. they're not all winners jdfkljdlkg); boston is obviously mortified but (remorselessly) admits that top didn't really want it in the shower and AGAIN we can have that flashback here instead of in ep5

when boston asks if that's enough for mew to not leak the footage, mew tells him that he never planned to but that outside of the hostel project, he's dead to him and that he's telling ray and cheum what he did

now, the confrontation between top and ray with mew getting accidentally punched WOULD have to go down differently; OR it could be cut entirely. mew could be sympathetic to what happened but still angry at top for lying, still having a hard time looking at him without thinking of boston.

mew mournfully stalks top's instagram and sees that boeing has been liking/commenting on his posts - this could send him over the edge that no matter what boston did, top is still a liar and that he should turn to ray instead

we return to top and the guy we assumed he was going to sleep with: top stops it, cries, and asks him to leave like in the original cut but before he has his sad fantasy, he gets a message or call from boeing thus signifying that that guy and boeing were not the same - maybe he could ask if he's tried to move on? top admits that he still loves him and he doesn't know what he can do to get him back or if he should let him go and the hurt is irreparable

ep8:

at this point the audience should be coming around to top and his plight, right? you've been thoroughly manipulated?

throughout the rest of the series there's no more emphasis on his having to become a better person, but instead a journey of him having to be more honest. instead of, "why do you have to be an asshole?" it's "why do you have to be a liar?" mew is still convinced that top could be capable of cheating because of the boeing thing and in order to keep the "these two are fucking" line, ray or sand (likely sand) could imply that top would have cheated on him eventually anyway based on his own bias against him, especially since it would be likely for mew to bring up that top and boeing appear to still be in contact with each other. this could also reveal how his and boeing's relationship really was and how top and boeing got together. wow!! an actual flashback of boeing!!!!!

ep9:

same shit goes down with sand and ray, except that mew actually gets mad about it because it's yet another person lying to him aka how he would actually react because seriously what the fuck was that. anyway, when he finds out that top knew and didn't tell him, that is part of what pisses him off when he finds out about boeing because he's still lying. (again, what was up with mew having No reaction to top knowing that ray was cheating on him and not telling him? he kind of just is like "huh?" and then completely drops it. the writing is so half-assed omg)

ep10:

OBVIOUSLY HE'S NOT AS ANGRY AS HE IS IN THE ORIGINAL EPISODE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK. mew still invites boeing over, but it's mostly to ask why he and top broke up because he wants to find out if it was also cheating (if this is a pattern or if it really was boston's fault). he learns a little bit about their relationship but he leaves out a lot of stuff and it's mostly half-truths - while he's talking, there are real flashbacks of what actually happened, which is a lot of boeing being emotionally and verbally abusive (which, lbr, is kind of already established in the canon).

the rage room scene works as long as you don't make mew act like a fucking serial killer lmao it could be good catharsis for top too and they can talk about what top is angry about and actually have a heart-to-heart about the fact that what boston did to top was wrong and top could admit what happened with him and boeing. this makes mew realize that, despite the fact that he will no longer tolerate it, there's a reason why top has lied.

ep11:

rather than mew trying to get with boeing to get back at top (a gambit that didn't make any god damn sense seeing as he couldn't get it up for gap or ray, why would he suddenly be okay fucking boeing? stupid), he's still secretly meeting with boeing to gather more information about top's life before they met

top confronts him about boeing and that boeing told him about the kiss, mew stays resolutely silent like in the original but instead of top "trying to be a better person" (again wtf does that even mean in that context? it literally doesn't make sense), top says that he's "trying to be totally honest" with mew but mew won't do the same for him, that they can't keep going if mew doesn't trust him. you don't have to change much about their getting back together

ep12:

not every fucking conversation between top and mew has to mention boston for FUCK'S sake. sand fucking gets over himself since he realizes that boeing is an asshole and top did him a favor by "stealing" him, this can be done by mew telling him about boeing pursuing top for his money. boeing isn't trying to get back with sand because uhhh *checks notes* top doesn't want him. none of his motivations make seeeeeeense what a half-assed character. idek what to do with him here, it could just be that he realizes he was an abusive dickhead, perhaps mew could tell him about how terribly boeing treated top.

in the spirit of honesty, top tells mew about his fight with sand (this could be in an earlier episode, like in the rage room scene). if i were to reeeeally get my way i would have mew cut ray out of his life, but if we have to do this then it wouldn't be mew's idea that TOP has to be the one to play nice with ray since that's what he's been fucking doing since episode 4, ffs mew sees ray insult and bully him again and again and top taking it nine times out of ten but yeah sure top is the one who has to be nice.

they can still bury the hatchet on, like, a double date but in this case ray and sand are the ones who actual get some fucking growth lol. sand admits that he was wrong to hold the grudge since boeing was obviously a huge douche bag; ray apologizes for being a dickhead since the second they met and that he was wrong to judge him just because of his crush on mew. he can still threaten top if he gets out of line again, but mew can be like hey remember when you cheated on me lol don't worry i'll take care of that :) because i guess we have to have some serial killer mew still in there

(but yes, i would also cut the scene where mew fantasizes about beating top to a bloody pulp in ep7- in fact, instead of the fight scene between top and ray, i'd want that parking lot scene to be real - mew gets extremely drunk after ray screams at him about not fucking him in ep9 and top offers to drive him home when he tries to call a taxi. mew can barely stand so top tries to physically carry him, mew shakes him off and tries to punch him, they grapple and fall to the ground and mew shakes him and yells something like, "you didn't just break my heart, you broke me!" and how it feels like he can't be with anyone else because he's still in love with him. then he kisses him desperately and they cling to one another and then mew passes out and top takes him home)

obviously boston apologizes to top, and it'd be nice if ray could actually act like top's friend and demand he apologize to top lmao one can dream i'm begging for some character development

no one plays spin the bottle because they're all twenty-two not fifteen.

oh shit, i forgot about atom. uh, write him out, who fucking cares. he was a useless character, everyone should have already hated boston for what he did to top and mew. stupid fucking plot cul de sac.

i don't mind there being something to humanize boston a little bit (for example, his dad walking in on him and nick kissing; a different jilted lover coming back for revenge of some kind but it's someone boston slept with after he and nick became boyfriends - you know, not just him MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE WHILE ON A DATE BECAUSE THAT IS BEWILDERING if he's a sex addict, whatever fine, but that was never established), but the shit with atom and boston was a huge time-waster. replace all that stupid shit with aprilcheum and plugyo, who were criminally under-utilized for boring drama. it's like they didn't know what to do with them.

anyway uhhh congrats on reading this long ass post. sorry

[itsmelb]

I finally made it - after I spoiled myself in my work break a little bit, I barely made it till the end! - but now I watched Ep 3 of Only friends - and witnessed acting greatness and also a Barbenheimer happening.

So let's dig (ck - yes u Boston!) In:

Mew: I have still zero clue about him tbh. He might be fucked up differently I guessed multiple times. Is he innocence or is he a mess? He kissed Ray some time 2 years ago apparent? Was he drunk? Lot of questions! Books acting is so great shit...

Top: Force did such an amazing job it's so good. I really was (am???) so fond of the way Top is with Mew. He asks for consent, he let's him be (till Ton makes his moves...)...but he has that thing going on with Sand somehow? (Next Ep will be crazy omg - that Middle finger haha I loved that sm) also Top is so naive to believe a single shit Ton says? God. (The car scene alone had so many emotions in forces face...I can't with him. I love to hate him bc he just did that and we all know sb like him..I do..poor lost soul)

Ray: Khao is making him so desperately insecure and sexy and annoying and also lonely boy vibes with those big puppy eyes god man. Not just Sand is amazed (or what ever u may call it). All his scenes give me those vibes that when u in his hands u never get out alive...except Mew has him in his hands...man that's all so fucked up lol

Sand: I love how First plays him. I love his bratty attitude and the way he trys to life through his shit. Also his style love that (succer for band shirts urg) also he has that blanc space I can not fill for now. Either he is a trickster of his own or he is also a lonely puppy. The way Ray convinces him so easily..We will see...

Boston: he is a mess. An absolut ass. He makes his plans and executes them with no mercy. In his favour obv. He tells Ray to confess to Mew, gets Top to fuck him (he never bottom?? Is that the reason he likes Top?? Was he his first? Omg??) and tells Nick he hates drama just that he stays in line?? Oh my god. So fucked up. What a performance of Neo! Shit he does have chemistry with everyone?? My god I love to hate Ton but Neo has my heart really. This is amazing.

Nick: oh my boy. The twitter thing was so good. He is so naive..but as I blogged earlier..Nick put that voice record thing in Tons car, he connected the dots with the friends really fast and now he sees the truth of Boston...I am excited for his revenge, that will bring mess to everyone (because he tells Sand??? Shit even better) and also will fuck up Ton so much (deserved) that he will have nobody left (wild guess..) I am so excited for Mark to play this u don't know how much..

Preview Ep 4: My god. How fucked up will it be?? Aaaah we are only in ep 4 next week (Books fav ep to look forward to)???? And it's such a mess. (I AM SO HERE FOR IT THAT IT MESSES WITH MY SANITY HAHA)

And that brings me to my personal Barbenheimer moment:

Barbie (after G4 concert snippets)

Oppenheimer (after OF)

And that was my Saturday! Well thank u, bye 😁😇😝😈

[hay1ock]

Episode 4 of Only Friends

Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.

So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?

I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).

I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.

But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.

Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.

And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).

I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.

The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.

Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.

Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.

So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.

So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.

Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.

Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.

OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Only Friends Ep 11:

1. B*tch, this show has no right to make me cry in the first 5 minutes of this episode so early in the morning. 😭😭😭 I feel so much for Yo. At least Yo and Plug are back into each other's arms.

2. Again, Mew irritates me. He decided to give his relationship with Top another shot, but the way that he is acting shows that he has already checked out of this relationship. Why even bother with second chances? For revenge? Why waste your time??? Just cut Top loose and move on.

3. I'm not saying Top deserves another chance (imo, he doesn't) but I'm with him in this one. Again, it was Mew who decided to give their relationship a go. He could have walked away and cut all ties with Top. But nooooo. He wants to prolong this sh*tty love story, for what? For the angst???

4. I hope Nick can still have his dream job after he eventually comes clean (and breaks Daddy Dan's heart) 😔

5. Oh, is Sand finally blocking Ray? Looks like it. 🧐 <after five minutes> Nooooo. Gods dammit. This the second time I'm crying and its just the first part of Episode 11. WTH.

6. Finally. Some healthy communication between Ray and Sand 😭😭😭

7. So, after failing to cause significant havoc on TopMew's life (because let's face it, those two don't need another reason to be toxic to each other), Boeing would try to wreck Sand's life? The fvck.

8. Nick and Boston. As I said in the previous episode, no matter what they decided their relationship is going to be (open, poly, etc), it looks like is going to be healthy as they are both accepting of each other's faults at this point. Also, Nick helping Boston with his Atom problem is 🤌

9. Boston and Nick truly said to Atom: "This is my villain origin story" 😅😅😅

10. Boston to Atom: "How can you love me when we only slept together once? Just because I'm the first guy you slept with?"

Yeah! That's my question too! Seriously, Atom's got (mental) problems and Boston ain't one of them 😂

11. "But you turned me into gay!" Atom, b*tch, you did not go there. Being queer is not contagious. Don't make me slap you. 🤬

12. TopMew. I am exhausted just looking at you, two. 😑

I did not see any ForceBook series in GMMTV's Up & Above trailer party. I think I might need to re-watch A Boss and A Babe after this series just to remind me of sickeningly sweet (without ulterior motives) ForceBook moments 😭😭😭

13. It is clear - only the lesbians have a semblance of healthy, thriving relationship all through out this series (CheumApril and Mew's mums) 😅

14. Let's just say, Ray's confidence is giving me life 😂

15. It's a good thing Cheum's relationship with April is solid. Otherwise, the girl is an idiot. She has known Boston for a long time. Granted, it was her little brother doing the slandering but the least she could have done is give Boston the benefit of a doubt.

16. Boston committing to a monogamous relationship? Really? But I get Nick. Nick's fear was essentially the same as Yo's fear.

17. It's a given that Boeing is trash, but can't he at least be trash somewhere else? 😂 Leave Sand alone. Sand being a magnet of trashmen is just 😔 At least, Ray is working on improving himself for Sand.

18. Ray's offence is the best defence is, again, giving me life 😂 It's the battle of the trashmen 😂😂

With that preview, looks like Boston will cross paths with Boeing too. Now, I don't know how to feel about things LOL. Let's hope the final episode will give us a good conclusion. I'm not even sure if I would want a season 2. This series is stressing me out 😭😭😭😭

[grogusmum]

For the ask game: 🍊🍑🍍

My sweet jennibean! You gave me this ages ago, and I've just been all go go go getting ready for the house going on the market and just couldn't do anything that really took the thinking of thoughts... anyway, I'm sorry. I said, "Play with me and then, like, fell asleep or something!

Boy oh boy this got long (because of the second question)

lemme put the rest under the cut

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Hmmm, well, I've only written a little something for Jack, Joel, and Dieter, and I definitely have more ideas for them.

Jack is the one I feel like I've tried a couple of times and didn't get very far. I really would like to expand the idea of the linked imagine.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work? It's funny that you chose this question, because I was just talking to. Adira about a and old YA book I loved growing I'd love to AU or Crossover or something.

I might slightly misinterpreting it, but I don't care because I wanna talk about this, lol!!

Anyway, growing up in the late Mesozoic, there was a YA series (that would never be considered YA today), which is more like a collection of supernatural stories with high-school age protagonists usually girls, there is usually some love interest in the mix, and uh oh a ghost! Or a possessed doll! Or in this instance a cursed deck of tarot cards.

In the story Bonnie goes to visit her gran in Boston (what?) and goes up to the attic to revisit where she used to play Pirate when she lived with her, the games involved and old sea chest, which she discovers has a false bottom, and it is a pack of ancient looking tarot cards wrapped in leather and next is what looks like a human finger bone. She becomes obsessed by them and sneaks them out of her grans attic and brings them home, so starts the story... my thought is instead of a teen Bonnie or perhaps reader is an adult who is helping clean out her grans house or inherits it and with the same backstory, etc. finds the cards in the attic and so on. I am trying to decide the Pedro Boy piece, I am thinking that maybe different P boys will be the different cards, the Fool, the Magician etc and one will be her partner...anyway I'm going to reread the book and see what's what (I'm a little scared I won't like as much as I did)

🍍 What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

Oh I love a good AU, i have a pretty open mind, if it's well done, I am in!!

I don't really have hatred or beef, but maybe there are some standard ones I don't know about or aren't thinking of because they aren't prevalent in my little corner of the Pedro Fandom... there are some I'm not interested in generally speaking, like "in college" for example.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 7 ("YOU GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM / KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM") EDITION

Whew, baby. Well, I found this episode particularly brutal.

I've been noodling this week on the following theme: the mundanity of toxicity. The everyday-ness of bad in people. I think this episode captured this well (cc @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, and @bengiyo, who all got a little preview of this thinking).

But I caught some other themes in this episode, too, which I'll quickly hit and list:

2) The elements of life, and 3) Gambling.

As a devoted meta writer, writing about Only Friends is hard. Because: I want to think that there's a lot more to what I'm seeing. I am certainly missing cinematic references that Jojo and team are making (I haven't watched Queer As Folk, for instance). Mew's face popping out of the bathtub? That has me wondering if I'm missing a cinematic reference there.

But at the same time, I wonder if by just observing the Only Friends crew, that I'm picking up on enough. When I was in my twenties, living in New York City, going to college...I was still trying to figure people out. I was absolutely SURROUNDED by people, and I couldn't help but think, everyday -- what is it that makes these people tick?

And I found myself regularly shocked at how mean people were. Very often, I'd just be like -- what the actual fuck, why are you trying so hard to be a massive dick? And, who knows -- maybe people were thinking the same thing about me.

That was when I was young. I just -- I didn't know that much about people. Really, what I didn't know -- and what I really NEEDED to know, and what I learned about myself in that decade and the next -- was how to manage myself around anybody, so as to preserve myself from any unpredictable pain that might come from someone else. In other words... I needed to fucking grow up.

Part of that self-management was trying on identities. Could I fake being a stronger person? Sure, I definitely tried. I tried with clothes, with new slang, with trying new activities, with drinking. That's just normal for a lass in their twenties.

The Only Friends crew -- they are assholes. Many of them were trying on change a couple of weeks ago. Mew experienced a HUGE identity shift during this episode.

But what they all embody to me, in this moment in their lives, is a kind of everyday toxicity -- a self-absorbed perspective, so tunneled internally into each and every one of them, that none of them are realizing that the energy they put out is colliding and having effects on others.

Like -- it's kind of shocking and twisted to watch. But when I think about it, when I remember what it was like to be in a huge city and to be in college and post-college: there's a part of me that remembers being CONSTANTLY surprised that people were just massive jerks, everyday, and again, who knows -- I think people likely thought that I was a jerk, too, for thinking of myself and leading myself with my life.

People, most people, grow out of these stages, as they get older, get more experienced in their years, maybe get more political in their dealings with others. I can't condemn this group of university students fully, as I hold hope (I'm a mom, damn it) that they'll grow into more fully robust and empathic people. But they ain't there yet. I'm not sure my turning stones gives me more insight to them than in relating to my own experiences as a former twentysomething. It has me thinking, as someone who loves turning those stones in my beloved dramas.

That all being said. Those two other themes in this episode have me thinking -- the elements of life and gambling.

We saw Mew play with fire (fucking finally, my man). And we saw lots of water -- water in the pool, water in the tub with Sand and Ray.

Water puts out fire. Mew tries to fake-drown (lol) Boston in the pool. Later on, Mew lets Boston know that he (Mew) can take Boston down, but won't. Mew is trying to control the fires that he's lit, and the ones that have already been burning.

My question to Mew is: do you know how to do what you are doing, or what you want to do?

I don't quite think so, and I think that "Welcome to Las Vegas" shirt he was wearing at Boston's house indicated as much.

(Uh, first of all, chain life, Book! MORE, MORE!)

Mew has decided to become a gambler. Let's think of all the metaphors! Mew has decided to roll the dice and possibly move past the pass line. He's decided to play his odds. He even STACKED his odds -- going to a new gay bar, enticing Drake Gap, going back to Gap's place, stealing the sex tape from Gap's computer, threatening Gap with reporting him for a crime, going to BOSTON'S HOUSE, TALKING TO BOSTON'S DAD, showing Boston the copy of the sex tape, THREATENING BOSTON, MAKING BOSTON BEG, showing MORAL SUPERIORITY OVER BOSTON, throwing the flash drive at Boston, and walking away. Like, if that were a metaphor for actually playing craps, first of all, lol, the pit guy would check Mew's ID, get him a players' card, and encourage him to move to the high limits room, being like, WHAT is this motherfucker DOING, but we want him doing more of it, he'll make us more money -- once he starts fucking things up.

Mew's trying on a new identity. He already was on the road to it, getting that LASIK for Top. He's just continuing to move forward with it. He's going to play with nastiness, but still try to come out on Top.

Trying on new identities. It is so normal when you're young -- I did that. Trying on what fits for whatever reason you are feeling at that moment -- if you're rebounding, if you're healing, if you're bored. Mew is embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, maybe even regretful that his first relationship ended up as a failure.

And now he's figuring out how to recover -- by taking a gamble, and playing with the exact same mundane, everyday nastiness that he's seen in everyone around him.

P.S. Ephemerality and permanence? That fire burned the memory that Top tried to create with Mew (cc @twig-tea and @lurkingshan here). And, gambling? SO ephemeral. Buh-bye, money and pride. Ray switching back and forth between Mew and Sand? Ephemeral crushitude. (SAND. SMDH. I KNOW RAY'S DAD SAID SOMETHING TO YOU, BUT STILL, SMDH.) Nick turning on Boston. Boston begging Mew to hold back on the permanent impact of the sex tape on Boston's dad's career.

And the ephemerality of movement: the clothes in this episode said it all. Las Vegas, NYC, Stanford. These young folks can just... disappear if they want to. And they just might.

(G'DAY, EPHEMERALITY SQUAD! @ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @distant-screaming @twig-tea @neuroticbookworm @lurkingshan @clara-maybe-ontheroad @thatgirl4815 @chickenstrangers @wen-kexing-apologist)