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#I need help what is this I’m gonna cry
voltazar · 9 months
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spiralstatic29 · 6 months
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finished succession and am actually going insane im going crazy I just cried into my pillow for 10 minutes and not for the reason you might think (it’s because I was thinking about how I will probably never meet Kieran Culkin and got entirely distraught over it)
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placeinthisworld · 25 days
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THIS TIME NEXT WEEK ILL BE GETTING MY NAILS DONE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE SEVEN YEARS EEEEEEE
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binders-and-beanies · 28 days
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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m0on-shro0m · 1 year
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Replaying Minecraft Story Mode straight from Season 1 & 2 gets me so emotional. It’s 2 AM and I’m crying about fictional Minecraft People.
I cheered on Lukas and Radar even in times they’ve been doubted.
I supported Petra the best I could be.
I saved Romeo because I believe in everybody to have a little good in them, even if it’s deep down and plus he has to face the consequences.
I’m staying in Beacon Town for the sake of Lukas, gotta support my Author Boyfriend <3
God I’m trying so hard to not cry, but I’m failing anyways. The music just gets to me. I don’t know but just wanted to say, the game still holds up amazing even in 2023. I’m trying so hard not to cry. Anyways that’s about it.
Probably replay Season 2 just to be lesbians with Petra as she deserves to be happy with Jesse at least once without me being all over Lukas.
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permanentreverie · 2 months
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i just got pulled over i want to fucking cry
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dykeredhood · 2 months
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Love how my choosing to see a therapist coincides with the 10 year anniversary commemorative Stucky mass hysteria event, that’s fun
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johnnysuhbmarine · 2 months
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Bought my first Seventeen albums yesterday and pulled FOUR Mingyu pcs. I don’t think you guys understand my horrible luck with pulling my biases but I pulled FOUR MINGYUS THIS IS CRAZY
(Also pulled a Joshua pc and his album version for semicolon I’m- I’ve won. I’ve won at life)
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heartbreakfeelsogood · 2 months
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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seventh-district · 11 months
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screaming shaking crying trembling wailing sobbing throwing up punching the wall in anguish and agony and angst etc etc etc
#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#cw vent post#kinda?? i guess??#cw dentist#anyways yeah. i have to go to the dentist soon and i wanna throw up just thinking abt it#someone just fucking hit me with a tranq gun and get it over with already oh my god i don’t wanna do thisssssss#but don’t actually do that cause i would deadass revoke someone’s breathing privileges if they ever sedated me without my consent#that’s part of what i’m so afraid of. i don’t know what i’m gonna do if they say i have to be put under general anesthesia for this.#i will literally cry and run out of the building#so here’s hoping that they can just numb it and keep me awake#i need to stay awake for this man it’s the only way i can handle it. i don’t wanna be vulnerable like that.#hhhhhhh last time i was in a dentist chair i was shaking uncontrollably and it’s so embarrassing when my body does that shit#i’m so afraid it’s gonna be like that again cause my fear has gotten so much worse as i’ve put off going#but my father will be there with me so maybe my need to appear strong in front of him will override my body’s need to shake in fear lmao#so i’ve got someone to take me and i’ve thankfully got the money saved to afford it so realistically i shouldn’t be upset#but i am so so afraid and no amount of logic is gonna help me out here. i already know that#i just have to go do it like i have to force myself to do all the other things i’m afraid of#ugh. i can’t tell if i’m nauseous cause of the pain radiating from my jaw bone to my brow bone or if it’s anxiety#or if it’s cause i couldn’t eat last night. or all three. probably all three#i’ve never had any cavities or serious issues with my teeth before in my life so this is so so so new and scary and i hate it#but i want the pain to stop so i gotta get this fixed. and never eat anything with sugar or acid or anything ever again#and brush my teeth one million times a day so this doesn’t happen again#sighs and collapses on the floor. i guess i couldn’t run from the consequences of my mentally ill actions forever#also no for once i didn’t actually punch anything. that was just a figure of speech. and i’m in enough pain as it is rn lmao
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nightingalesighs · 6 months
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What really pisses me off when people are like. No child should be friends with an adult; it’s (insert word/phrase that has been misused so much it’s kinda ceased to have meaning to me anymore) is… My older friends? Even though I’m 28 and yknow. An Adult. Have literally saved my life. Like not only do they have more knowledge about how things work (like Medicaid and food stamps and student loans and resumes and and and all the other shit nobody bothers to teach you and can be hella confusing/nearly inaccessible unless you Know but is hella important/can really fuck up your life if you’re not careful) and like…more experience so when they tell you “it’s gonna be hard, but you can handle it” or “I know it looks scary, but it’s not that bad and I promise you’ll get through it” or “it doesn’t matter if don’t graduate college, look at me. I didn’t. I’ve got a stable, well paying job. It’s not impossible to be comfortable without a college degree. And look at (other friend who is sitting right next to them), they worked their ass off for a double degree and currently not using it! You’ll be okay, you’ll figure it out.” your brain can actually believe them cuz yknow. They’ve been where you are. They have that life experience. And they’re not gonna lie to you because they love you and respect you too much to do that.
Like I don’t want to make it sound like friendship is a commodity, but older friends and intergenerational friendships can be so extremely valuable, especially to vulnerable younger people in abusive households. And I don’t even mean like in that they can offer you a place to crash cuz not every friend is gonna be able to do that and that’s OKAY. But maybe they can still help you in other ways. Even if it’s “just” holding your hand and validating your fears while you cry your eyes out but reassuring you that they believe in your ability to work through it. They believe in *you*. (And yes, I REALLY appreciate the same sentiment from friends my age and it’s also extremely helpful and I love them so very much. But it just sorta hits in a different way coming from an older friend. Not in a way that’s better or worse. Just different.)
Also something something seeing that you have a future when you can’t see past the next year or six months is just. So fucking reassuring.
Also. Older friends are just plain fun. I love my older friends and my life would be so much poorer without them. So yknow. Fuck people that condemn intergenerational friendships.
Also also something something something ‘fuck you for making me feel terrible/paranoid about wanting to offer my own experience to those younger than me. To help them in any way I can. As another fantastic and dearly beloved friend says. “If you start sounding like my mental illness, YOU are the problem and maybe need to re-evaluate some things.”’
#ignore me#im just all up in my feels about that time my friend twisted around from the passenger seat of the car to hold my hand and comfort me while#I was crying and terrified about the upcoming semester. that said it IS actually not good that you’re having panic attacks and chest pains#just thinking about going back. and was so kind and understanding and calm and she listened and held my hand. or the other friend who grew#up with little financial security. worked two jobs to pay her college tuition because her parents just didn’t have the means to help her.#and now she’s married to a surgeon and EXTREMELY financially secure and because of her own experience she is just soooo. im gonna pay for#your dinner because I can and it won’t affect me or stress me at all and I want you to save your money. and if you need money for some#reason just let me know and we’ll figure it out because I have the means to help in this way and I’m gonna do it dammit and if you need to#or the friend that sincerely told me to call her if I needed someone to talk to. even if it’s the ass crack of dawn or 3 in the morning.#or my friend (my Person) who when I asked if it was okay to tell my cousin her address while visiting her so my cousin could pick me for#dinner. said ‘of course you can. this is your home too’ (home as in your safe here and home as in you are loved here and home as in you will#always be welcome here.)#like…just. intergenerational friendships guys#they are literally lifesaving#don’t deny young people these friendships#but as someone who has also been the Older Friend#don’t make them feel bad for just loving and caring about another human being#that’s what we do. that’s what humanity is#i scream into the void#personal
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Guys! Help me! I was on omeagle. I was just like going through and talking to people. Then I ended up on this really attractive man and his voice was like so silky! It was like a vampire and he had like long brown hair and a hairy chest. He had half of his face covered. He told me that he’s in Germany. But it started lagging so I was like aw fuck and skipped. But I shouldn’t have! I feel like crying, this man was like everything I need. Does anyone have any idea who I’m talking about? Please help me.
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abandonmutt · 3 months
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Just thinking
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filmcel · 9 months
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When will it be my turn to get my hands on t :[
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rosesradio · 9 months
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🧍
#so for the mutuals that have been keeping up with the cute little tidbits i’ve been posting about my life—#i fucking hate my major#& after almost crying myself to the point of nausea again i finally did some more research on changing my major#i think i’m going to change my major from information systems to business administration#basically info systems is business & computer science & the bulk of 90% of my issues come from coding#like yes i also dislike my business classes & excel sucks but i find those classes to be easier & manageable compared to my coding ones#not to mention it’s mostly within the wheelhouse of my current major so it only adds two classes to my current grad plan#like yeah there’s gonna be more finance classes which i hate like i hate the math/accounting aspect#but there’s also more marketing type classes where i might actually be able to have a little fun and show some creativity#i imagine my dad will be upset with me—he wants me to stay in this major/not ‘be a quitter’/just ‘try harder’ to learn useful skills#but the alteration isn’t that bad & he can still help me with excel or whatever else#so the change should be good. i still plan to stick it out this semester because i think it’ll be a mess if i drop my classes#not to mention i still need like half the classes i’m taking rn#but since i’m getting my masters in library science it’s one of those things where it literally doesn’t matter at all what—#i get my bachelor’s in#anyways#rose.txt
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pissfizz · 9 months
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It’s college application season and I have no idea what to do or what’s going on where I want to go or anything ready and 👍 my life feels like it’s already over because of how unprepared I am for this
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