#I need motivation and validation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cryptocism · 7 months

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Since I think about clones like I’m getting paid for it, I've been rotating those alternate universe "what if Bart and Thad were actually raised together" scenarios in my brain, with Thad either post-redemption-arc or pre-villainy. Because adjusting Thad's character to fit an ally role while still keeping true to his core motives and personality is so so fascinating to me.

Like I think there's an immediate first instinct to slot Thad into a "bad" twin category: ie rebellious and prickly, doesn't get along with people, mean lil shit. And obviously it's not wrong bc we're outside the realm of canon, but the reading still feels a little left of center.

Because Thad is mean and prickly in canon. In the Impulse comics he belittles Bart and Bart’s friends/family constantly in his appearances. He loves to goad, and monologue about his own superiority and intelligence. He’s very Not Nice, and he causes many problems, and he even does it on purpose.

But, I think it’s important to consider the context. From the jump Thad knows very little about anything except which team he’s on and who he’s playing for. He gets his orders from an unseen authority and he carries out his tasks because success means his team wins.

For all his self-aggrandizing talk, everything he does is in service of an end goal that doesn't actually center him. He's trying to get revenge for grievances he's never personally suffered, retribution for actions never committed against him. Everything he does is on someone else's behalf.

Thad sees in black and white, us or them. Up until the final few issues of Mercury Falling, Bart and co. are Thad's enemies, of course he's not going to be nice.

So Thad's motivation seems pretty simple: Thawne Supremacy™.

But it’s in Mercury Falling where this starts to fall apart, and the real core of his motivation gets revealed. Thad pretends to be Bart and suddenly Helen is nice to him. Bart’s friends think he’s funny. Bart’s teachers are impressed with his grades. Max ruffles his hair and gives him hugs and tells him he’s done a good job.

If he was actually an inherently mean and standoffish character, if Thad actually had significant personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict, the weight of such tiny acts of kindness wouldn’t completely break him the way that it does in canon.

Thad thinks his goal is superiority and revenge and Thawne Supremacy™, but he's chasing validation. Thad doesn’t have a personal stake in the Thawne VS Allen conflict. He wouldn't get much satisfaction if he actually destroyed Bart and his family. Thad's personal victory would be the recognition after the fact: the praise and attention from the other Thawnes (a group of people he has literally never met) for his success.

He wants validation. That's basically it. And the fact that he gets it so easily from Bart's family and friends doesn't align with how he's told himself things are supposed to work.

Actually tangentially, Bart and Thad’s respective relationships to authority is so diametrically opposed and tbh kind of subversive in a superhero narrative. Where the hero is the one carving his own path without regard to social or societal rules, no fucks to give what anybody thinks of it. And the villain is a chronic people-pleaser.

Just based on Thad’s reaction to simple praise and affection from Max I really think Thad’s motivation has more to do with the response he gets than whatever the details are of any given task. He has no actual personal convictions beyond getting positive attention, and whatever he did have crumbled as soon as Bart’s friends laughed at his joke one time. Which of course leads into the core of his whole conflict at the end of Mercury Falling. He cares too much about Bart’s friends and family now, he doesn’t want to kill them, but worse than that, he’s faced with the sudden realization that he’s on the wrong side.

The Allens gave Thad everything he actually wanted and needed, but his conception of himself is inexorably tied to the Thawnes: who gave him jack shit. These two facts are in opposition to each other, and he can’t reconcile the reality of it.

Anyway all this to say, in an AU where Bart and Thad are raised together or Thad gets an actual redemption arc etc etc, I think my personal take on Thad’s personality whether it be pre-or-post-villainy would be one that is extremely socially conscious. He is much more of a people-person than Bart. Whether he's actually accurate in assessing people's feelings and how to respond to them can be hit or miss, but he wants to behave in a way that gets people to like him.

Pretending to be Bart isn’t remarked upon as, like, a difficult task for Thad. In his internal monologue he’s literally bragging to himself about how easy it is. But what’s especially notable to me is where his act differs from Bart's typical MO. Everyone notices, and lots of people comment, and presumably if Thad didn’t have the excuse of Max’s illness to “motivate” Bart to do better he would’ve been found out immediately. And those things are, specifically: paying attention in class, doing his chores, staying on task, and being helpful around the house. The one thing about Bart he chooses not to emulate is Bart’s rebelliousness.

Thad wants to prove himself, constantly, to whatever authority he respects (probably Max in this scenario) and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. In contrast to Bart, who only listens to authority when the shit they're saying actually makes sense to him. It’s excessively difficult to convince him to go against his own interests. (And I think a key part of that is Bart’s security in knowing that no matter how much he fucks up or doesn’t listen, the people he loves will always love him back.)

Thad’s got the people-pleaser in him that has to deserve whatever he’s given. It’s why he’s happiest when he’s given a clear goal or objective to complete, because it gives him an opening to prove himself.

All this to say that if we are quantifying Bart and Thad as a "good" or "bad" twin, in the eyes of every authority: Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the bad twin, Bart is the bad twin. Bart is the one who doesn’t care about school and whose grades vary wildly depending on his personal interest. He’s the one who goes off to do dangerous shit for fun and gets in trouble constantly and doesn’t do his chores and is thoroughly unconvinced by any authority figure trying to sell him bullshit.

Thad is the one who needs to know all the rules just so he can experience the joy of following them. Relentlessly obedient. He'll put all his effort into doing all the right things that’ll endear him to whoever he wants to impress - meaning he’s the asshole who reminds the teacher about the assigned homework. Bart might be the most popular boy in school, but Thad is a pleasure to have in class.

Like Thad can (and should) still be high-strung and short-tempered and sarcastic and edgy and mean, because he is. But he can’t be doing all that without rhyme or reason. Colouring every interaction has to be that one-zero binary of ally or enemy. He needs to have somebody he’s proving himself to: a team he’s on and a team he’s against. He’s not an inherently rebellious character. He can go up against The Enemy, whoever he deems as such, but it has to be in service of a hypothetical future in which somebody eventually tells him he did a great job.

And in the interest of continuing to beat a dead horse, it connects to their respective upbringings. Thad and Bart were both raised in VR, but Bart’s experience had the side effect of basically hard-wiring him against insecurity. His world was a playground tailor-made for him, and he was never made to feel bad or insufficient about any aspect of himself. His first interaction with a real human person was Iris moving heaven and earth to save him, without him knowing her, without her knowing him, with no reasoning for the act needed beyond Being Her Grandson. Which is probably a significant factor in why Bart moves through the world with frankly atomic levels of autistic swag.

Thad’s VR upbringing installed self-consciousness in his psyche before any other personality trait. As in: he is immediately made conscious of himself and his relationship with everyone he will ever encounter. He’s told two things: he’s a clone of someone else (inherently derivative, lesser) and that he was made to be superior (a status to achieve). Which is such an instant clarifier for Thad’s everything. Where superiority is a condition that everyone either has, or does not. It’s the one-zero binary again: are they better than me or am I better than them. Being above others is mandatory, and if his superiority is ever challenged by hard evidence or god forbid nuance Thad’s brain physically cannot take it. He needs to be better, to be worse is unthinkable, and there is no other way to be.

And this status of better or worse is, crucially, not up to Thad to decide. He needs The Authority to validate him. Bart never tries to prove himself because he has nothing to prove. Thad’s entire identity hinges on the self-worth he gets from doing a Good Job.

It is such an inherent part of his motives in the Impulse comics canon, which is why it always feels a little off when he’s interpreted as a jackass indiscriminately.

Like I don't think he needs everyone to like him. But I do think he has either one person or a set of very particular people that he needs to like him. Everyone else is either in that circle or outside of it.

(Which is why Bart is such a great foil for Thad tbh. There is no set of words or behaviors that’ll change Bart’s opinion of Thad, because Bart is unaffected by obedience or charm. So ironically Bart is probably one of few people that Thad doesn’t bother to put on even a little bit of an act for.)

While Bart goes with his instincts, his personal beliefs and convictions at all times, Thad is hyper-conscious of big-picture goals. They balance each other out that way. Thad's keeping track of whatever expectations he has placed on him, and how his actions reflect on him and the team beyond short-sighted solutions. He's a team player. AND he's an asshole.

#soapbox #dc #thad thawne #thaddeus thawne #inertia #bart allen #impulse #like he cannot be mean indiscriminately... u must interrogate WHY hes mean and to whom #if hes being raised with Max and Helen he would not intentionally do anything to make their lives more difficult #if hes being raised by Meloni same situation #he needs to be trying to get validation from SOMEWHERE u know #and of course he'll mess up and hurt the people he loves or wants to impress he is a human being #but while that can sometimes be the result #that is never the Goal u kno #not his Core Motivation #i feel like the more i talk about this the less sense im making

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emotionalsupporthufflefluff · 1 year

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fancy rooms that hide unnoticed

Ominis Gaunt x GN!Hufflepuff!Reader (MC = Eliza Fig, Gryffindor) part six of the fancy series - [ToC]

Summary: Ominis shows you a secret room hidden away, and reveals a few more secrets of his own. Everything is finally coming together, so nothing will get in the way of that, right?

A/N: The highly requested continuation of the fancy series is here! I want to say sorry for taking so long but it really hasn’t been that long since I posted, maybe a week if that lol But! wanted to add that my next post will in fact not be the next part of this, but a separate request that i received in my ask box. (don’t worry, part seven will be right after!) Anyway, send in requests for Hogwarts Legacy! I need more motivation to keep writing and while i already write purely for myself and my entertainment, your encouragement and requests certainly spur that along. Anyway, i have a feeling everyone was waiting with bated breath for this chapter so read on!

“Hush, listen. Here- quickly!”

You weren’t sure where Ominis was leading you, but it was inside the Hogwarts castle and it was certainly not toward any common room that you knew about. When you entered through the transfiguration courtyard into the Defense Against the Dark Arts building, you tried to ask in whispers where your destination was, but received only a smirk and a hushing sound from Ominis as he pressed you into an alcove to avoid a prefect’s rotation.

You were squeezed in tight, pressed against each other to fit inside, and your breath stuttered as you wondered if you had ever been this close before- been so close that the line of your body pressed against his and you could feel his chest move with breath against yours, could feel his hands try to find somewhere to rest and end up claiming the spot on your hips. This was all well and fine, surely, though you noticed the side you entered from facing the hallway and worried that you would be easily noticeable. You reach out to take hold of a nearby curtain, pulling the string that had tied it off to the side. The curtain slid downward and encased the small alcove. You figured it would block out the light, but you turn and notice this as a windowed alcove, and the moon shone down onto the both of you. Looking back into his face, the moonlight danced across Ominis’ cheeks and bathed his hair in such a light that it looked more white than blond.

He was smiling, and you began to feel his hands slowly gliding across your sides. Gently, he pushed upward and back, sliding his hands across to the small of your back, pressing in. You were already pressed against each other as much as you thought possible- but even so, Ominis dragged you closer in. Everything felt stifling, like too much and not enough all at once, and as you stared into his open and relaxed eyes you were tempted to close the rest of the slight distance between the two of you. Your eyes dart down to his lips and you can feel your breath hitch just as the sound of footsteps gets louder nearby your curtain. Ominis squeezed you in reassurance, likely assuming you had been worried about getting caught, meanwhile scenarios roamed unbidden through your mind of leaning in and connecting your lips to his.

The moment was broken when Ominis’ hands left you to push the curtain aside, taking your hand once more. He led you down a seemingly dead end next to a staircase, turning to face a clockwork cabinet. He raised his pulsing wand, tapping it against the cabinet in a sequence that you didn’t quite understand, but that which started moving gears and stars across the front. Something clicked into place with a thunk and slowly the cabinet doors slid open to reveal a hidden passageway. Ominis had taken your hand then, leading you inside.

When you pushed through the exit, you were surprised mainly at how large the room was around you. Sure, Hogwarts had many secrets and hidden rooms, but this was bigger than even your common room. How was something of this stature hidden away for so long? Wide pillars separated the room at different points, and spiderwebbed boxes and dusty sheets covered the majority of the walls. There were blackened chandeliers, like some sort of spell went awry, and in the far corner, you couldn’t help but see a few training dummies pushed over and resting against each other. As you took the room in, Ominis wandered over toward the centre and started moving some of the dusty items around.

You approached slowly, your head on a swivel to take in as much as you can. You heard Ominis muttering some spells under his breath, turning to watch a few dusty boxes and sheets spin themselves into a long and low couch. It was coloured with a deep green velvet and dark brown wood- almost like being summoned directly from the Slytherin common room. You laughed, watching Ominis’ head turn at the sound to look at you.

“What’s so funny?”

“I mean,” You begin, shrugging for no one to see before taking a few more steps toward him. “There’s the fact that an entire underground ballroom exists inside Hogwarts that no one knows about- aside from you, apparently. There’s us being here after curfew, after you just rescued me from a whole band of poachers as if this was just an everyday ordeal. There’s the fact that a student using Unforgivables just threatened me and then disappeared in a poof of air. Oh- also that when you conjured that couch, it looked like you pulled it directly from what I assume the Slytherin common room looks like. So, yeah, take your pick I guess.”

You watch a smirk form on his face and he turns, closing the distance. He raises a hand to place on the junction between your neck and shoulder, squeezing gently before he finally responds. “This isn’t exactly a ballroom, but it’s called the Undercroft if you want a name for it. And the couch likely looks that way since I was taught that spell by my family- they have a certain… aesthetic to them. Considering that we’re a direct line from Salazar Slytherin, I’d assume the Slytherin common room might be modelled a bit after us.

“But for the rest of that- I don’t know if I’d find it that funny.” He pulls you closer, leaning his head forward until your foreheads touch, leaning into each other. “I was extremely worried, Y/N. Taken by poachers, put into a damned cage as if you were just a creature,” The hatred toward the end of his sentence was a new sound to you, and it sent shivers down your back. You watched him swallow roughly, then continue, “I’d rather it not be an everyday ordeal- I don’t know how I would handle that much panic and fear- but I would come back to rescue you any time that you needed it, Y/N. From poachers, or from Eliza herself.” You felt his hand tightening on you, his other hovering over your hip as if unsure. “You’ll be fine. I won’t let her do anything to you.”

“I’m sure it was just empty threats,” You mumbled, feeling lightheaded from the proximity. It was almost an imitation of earlier, with how close the two of you stood now. It was a new development, this closeness that he keeps initiating, and you were unsure how to handle it. You wanted it, absolutely, but wanting it and being able to withstand his proximity without immediately showing your true feelings for him? Those were two different things altogether.

“They weren’t empty, Y/N.” His voice was grim, his hand finally making full contact with your hip and pulling you closer. You wondered if this was his way of reassuring himself you were here, and safe. Your eyes darted between his own, down to his lips then back up again. Biting your lip, his voice continues in a whisper. “I’ve had dealings with her before. She means everything she says, no matter how far-fetched or ridiculous the notion.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be reassuring me, Ominis?” You tease, reaching your own hands out to his sides and taking hold of his shirt there, clenching it in your fists. Your fingers danced against his side, and you can feel his skin jump underneath the fabric. When he speaks, his voice has a certain breathless quality to it that wasn’t there a moment ago.

“I want you to be prepared. The reassurance will stem from our actions going forward. You’ll train in defensive magic, and I’ll never be leaving your side.”

“At all?” You breathe out, as if asking, ‘Do you promise?’

“Someone will be, at least. Sebastian and Poppy will help, I’m sure. Perhaps even Natty, if she is willing to speak to us. I’m sure she wouldn’t want one of her friends hurt by Eliza, now that she knows who she really is.” His hand pulls against you again, as if desperate for your contact. You flatten your hands out, letting your hands roam across his sides. “I’m not in all of your classes, nor am I in your house. We’ll work something out, though.”

“Ominis, you really don’t have to worry about me.” You felt almost burdensome, and he could hear it in your voice. His expression turned to one of confusion, then resolution.

“Y/N, I am absolutely going to worry about you. Not just because Eliza is a formidable enemy to have, nor the fact that poachers seem to be spreading and claiming new territories. Y/N,” He huffed, pulling his head back away from yours and sliding his head up from your neck to your cheek, “I’m going to worry about you, regardless if there’s anything to worry about. Because that’s just what happens when you-” He stutters for a moment, clearing his throat and trying to play off his slip- “When you care about someone.”

“I suppose you’re right, Ominis.” You take a deep breath in, eyes jumping around the room in nervousness. Reaching up, you take the hand pressed to your cheek and step away, dragging him along. “Come, let’s sit. We have a lot to discuss.”

“Such as?”

“Well,” You begin, sitting on the couch he had conjured, Ominis sitting to your left. There was enough room for someone to stretch out and lay on the cushions, but you had sat in the centre of the couch, and Ominis sat so close that your legs were pressed together. You laid your held hands across your lap, studying his stiff posture. “Let’s start from the beginning, I guess.”

“Our fight in the potions classroom?” His voice was low as if he was dreading this conversation. You were unsure why, considering you were the one who had run off without trying to talk things out initially, but you rubbed his hand with your thumb to try and calm him.

“Well, I was thinking more ‘beginning’ in the time sense, not the beginning of the chain of events that led to here.” You paused, glancing around the large open space around you. “Sebastian and Eliza seem to know each other?”

“They became friends when she transferred in our fifth year. They grew very close, very quickly. He told her secrets he shouldn’t have, and she showed him magics that even I didn’t know existed.” He took a deep breath, reaching his other hand out to place on your knee. “Fifth year was especially hard, as it was the first year that Sebastian came to school without Anne, the first year that she had been cursed. Sebastian refused to believe it was incurable- honestly, I think he still believes that- and he spent most of that year sneaking into the forbidden section of the library to research day in and out.

“He heard about a Scriptorium, one that Salazar Slytherin was believed to have owned, that was located in Hogwarts. Of course, being in my family, I knew of it and where it was, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. Salazar was known for his dark magic practices, and if he was anything like my family currently is then I knew nothing good could come from that Scriptorium, and I was right.” He swallowed roughly, his shoulders slumping as he leans a bit toward you. You replace your left hand in his with your right instead, reaching around him to pull him close against you. “Eliza managed to convince me, somehow, to open the Scriptorium. We had to solve a few puzzles to get through, and eventually, we made it so far inside that some sort of trap sprung, trapping us in. Eliza said the word Crucio was burned into the floor, and the skeleton of my aunt Noctua was in the corner.”

Dread filled your stomach, pulling him even closer. Your voice was quiet as you hummed out, “No, you didn’t-”

“I didn’t cast it, or have it cast on me. But Sebastian said there was no other way, that the door blocking the way forward had been carved with faces in agony. Eliza said she could cast it on him, that she knew the spell already. Sebastian had been just about to ask me, but I knew I wouldn’t have been able to cast it. But she did, on Sebastian. The door opened, but hearing my friend scream out in pure torture like that-” His voice caught, clearing his throat once more. “It was almost as painful as when it had been cast on me.”

“What? Did she-”

“No, when it was used on me, it was my own family.”

“Ominis-” You stopped yourself, unsure what to say. You could hear the grief in your tone, and finally, you pulled your remaining hand away from his to wrap around him completely, pulling his head down onto your chest. His hands slowly slid from your lap to wrap around your hips, leaving burning trails in their wake. He seemed oddly expressionless- emotionless, even. It scared you, how withdrawn he had become from telling this story. You rub his back slowly and try to project as much comfort as you could. “You didn’t deserve that. You never did.”

“How would you know,” Ominis sniffed, and you could finally feel his form shaking. His head was buried into your chest, but from the sounds he made you could tell he was finally beginning to cry. “You weren’t there.”

“Ominis, there is absolutely nothing in the world that you could do to ever deserve to be tortured like that. Especially from your own family.” You tighten your embrace before finally pulling just enough away, taking his cheeks in your hands and lifting until you could see his red-rimmed eyes. You wiped the tears from his cheeks, studying his face. “I can’t go back in time to fix anything, but by Merlin, I swear to you that I’ll protect you from that wretched family going forward.”

“You don’t have to say all that, Y/N-”

“I’m not ‘just saying it’ Ominis.” You drop your hands from his cheeks, taking both of his hands and pulling them close to your chest, cradling him. “I swear to you I will do everything in my power to support you.”

“I should be saying this to you, darling,” Ominis gently removes one hand from your grip to place on your cheek once again, leaning forward. Your breath catches, the move looking too similar to someone leaning in for a kiss, but he stops all too soon. “You were taken and threatened, I should be pledging myself to your service.”

“I’ve never been Crucio’d, though.” Your sentence was breathed out, no more than a whisper. It brought a visible and palpable relief to Ominis, though, and you couldn’t help but feel the mix of sadness that he has gone through it, and the comfort that you managed to pull him from his bad mood. Silence reigned as he absorbed this information before, lightning quick, he pulls you into a tight hug.

“And I’ll make sure you never will be, ever,” He whispers into your ear, his voice insistent- almost begging. You nod your head against his chest, scooting closer in and hugging him tightly in return. The way you kept pulling each other close, you were practically sitting in his lap. You both sat this way, taking comfort in the feeling of each other, for as long as it would take to soothe him. Finally, Ominis seems to have relaxed as much as he will so you begin to pull away, just enough to take your own seat back. “YN,” His voice sounded almost devastated, a mimic of how it sounded earlier when he thought you wanted to speak about the fight in the potion’s classroom.

“Yes, let’s speak of that now,” You agree to his unspoken assessment, though confusion quickly crossed his face so you clarified, “Let’s talk about the whole potion’s assignment incident.” The confusion slowly melted away from his face, seeming at war with himself. Eventually, his nervousness faded away and determination set in. You were just about to ask if you had assumed right, if that really was what he was about to say, but then he spoke.

“Sure. So how do we start this?”

“Well, it sounded like you saw me out in the Transfiguration courtyard.”

“I did. I misunderstood what was happening, and I overreacted. I apologize, Y/N.” His voice was measured, devoid of emotion, and it pained you how quickly he could snap between emotions like that. You didn’t want these to be one of the times he felt endangered, that he felt he had to hide how he truly felt.

“Ominis, why don’t you tell me then? What did you think was happening?” He hesitated, his face falling to look toward the ground as he thought. You gave him time, and with that, he took your hands and began idly playing with your fingers. Eventually, in a whispered voice that carried emotion you were glad to hear, he spoke.

“I thought Garreth was flirting with you.” You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head in confusion. Of course, he hadn’t been, but did it really look that way? “And I thought that you liked it, that you were flirting back.” At this your eyebrows raised, and then an involuntary laugh escaped your lips. Immediately a hand flew to your mouth as if to cover it, to put the laugh back inside.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. It’s not at you at all, just- the thought, of Garreth liking me?” You laugh again, covering it with your hand and shaking your head. “Such a ridiculous notion.”

“Why would that be ridiculous? You’re a fantastic person, Y/N. Any single person would be lucky to have you, I’m surprised you don’t have suitors constantly trying to vie for your attention.” You laugh again, shaking your head more. Patting Ominis’ hand, you find it within you to calm your laughs, to try to explain.

“No one likes me, Ominis-”

“That’s not true.”

“Even so,” You continue, ignoring his disagreements, “If they did, I’ve never been told. Not once in all the seven years I’ve been at Hogwarts has romance been involved in my life. No one’s tried to ask me out, or even fake ask me out as a prank. No one has sent longing looks my way, or written me love poems or letters, or merlin forbid, flirt with me.” You huff a soft laugh, scanning the area around you so you wouldn’t have to look into Ominis’ face, expecting it to be full of pity.

“Now I find that hard to believe,” Ominis finally said, his voice low. You bite your lip at the tone, unsure whether it would be considered ‘husky’ or if he had an undercurrent of hate or distaste. Finally, you release it and sigh.

“Whether or not you believe it is irrelevant, as that’s the way things are.” You take back your hands, an ache in your chest spurring you to stand and walk away. You feel a hurt growing beneath everything, a loneliness that you’ve been pushing down all along begins to bubble back into your throat. So long with no sign or sense of someone liking you. Poppy had always said your longing looks toward Ominis probably scared everyone else away, but you were so sure you had hidden your looks well enough with time. You don’t stare at him constantly anymore.

“Y/N,” Ominis’ voice is soft, and you can hear just the beginning of pity in his voice that spurs you into action.

“So this is a lovely place,” You squeak out, taking another few steps away from him. “So big and…” You hesitate, trying to find another word before finally you say, “Dusty…”

“Y/N,” His voice is a bit more resolved, less quiet than before, and you can hear him getting up behind you. Your voice is quick to respond, fear starting to flavour your voice.

“You should really do something with this place! You know, we’re not going to be at Hogwarts for very much longer, anyway.”

“Y/N,” You feel Ominis behind you, touching your arm gently and you take a few steps away, your vision skipping quickly throughout the room, though never landing at any place for longer than a second. Anywhere, but at him.

“We could clean this place up! Could be a project of ours, y’know how we’re always at a loss for what to do. Maybe we could even throw a party at the end of the year!”

“Y/N,” Ominis repeats, reaching forward to take hold of your arm and spin you to look at him. His face was set, determined, and he whispered out, “Please,” Before reaching forward with his other hand to place onto your cheek. You freeze, staring into his cloudy eyes, unsure what to say. Ominis couldn’t find any more words either, so he instead began to lean forward.

He was just going to come closer, whisper something to you. He did this earlier, when leaned closer to assure you. To provide comfort, or perhaps to insinuate that whatever he would say was important. You thought as much, but he kept leaning forward more, and his eyes began to fall closed. He began to pull your elbow toward him, and his thumb swiped gently against your cheek before it happened. Before his lips pressed against yours.

Oh.

When you don’t respond right away, Ominis slowly pulled you closer to himself. His hand tightened on your elbow, as if afraid you’d pull away, and this spurs you into action. Your hands, previously wringing together anxiously, flew forward around Ominis’ neck and pulled him closer to you. You kiss back with everything you have, making sure that if this was the only kiss you’d ever get with Ominis then it’d certainly be one that he’d remember.

You felt Ominis relax under your ministrations, then felt a low moan travel through him and into you. The sound, the feel of it, drove you crazy and you raked a hand through the bottom of his hair, clenching your fingers and pulling gently. His hand fell from your elbow to your hip, wrapping around your back and pulling you against him once more. Again and again, you were held so close by him tonight- was he thinking of doing this every time? Like you had been?

When you both finally pull away, you’re breathless and hanging onto each other. It’s quiet aside from the both of you panting, and you stared into his face to watch for any sort of change. Meanwhile, he watched you as only he could, with his hands roaming your neck and back, squeezing his hands into a fist against you before smoothing them back out again.

“You can’t say that no one likes you, Y/N, when I’m standing right here.” He leans forward slowly, brushing his lips against yours before speaking again, right against your lips. “When I’ve been here this whole time, wishing there was any chance. Hoping for this moment, right here.” He presses his lips to you again, finally, in a brief and soft kiss. “If you want romance, I’ll give you the world. But you can’t,” His voice caught, and he began shaking his head ever so slightly, “You can not believe that you’re unlovable, Y/N. Not when I’m here, not when I’ve loved you this whole time.”

“Ominis,” And you can hear it, how wrecked your voice is. So full of emotion, of hope and fear and, of course, love. “Ominis, please don’t say this if you don’t mean it.” You pull him down closer, pressing your cheek to his so you’re whispering near his ear. “This whole time I’ve longed for you, I could not bare it. Please, be magnanimous, I’m not so easily cowed but if this is some sort of joke-”

“There is nothing more true,” Ominis interrupts gently, placing a kiss on your cheek before pulling back farther, looking into your face as if he could study you, his eyes jumping back and forth. “Y/N, I would provide you with the entirety of my life if that meant anything. I would stop at nothing to make sure you are happy and safe. You deserve the world and everything around it, and I want to give that to you.”

“I don’t want the whole world, Ominis,” You whisper, placing one of your hands on his cheek and brushing your thumb against his sharp cheekbone, “I only want you.”

“You have me, all of me,” Ominis whispers quickly, reverentially. “For as long as you’ll accept me.”

“You’re promising me forever, I hope you know.” You were smiling, your tone gently insinuating as such, and you watched a slow smile begin to spread on Ominis.

“Then forever shall it be.”

Ominis knew how to transfigure beds, apparently. You never did make it back to your common room that night, as the both of you spent the night in each other’s arms. The Undercroft was drafty, the chill trying to burrow into the tight embrace you held each other in until Ominis pulled a blanket overtop the both of you. Snuggling there together, whispering quiet stories of when either of you almost got caught with your crush, you eventually fell asleep.

You were worried all the next day, walking the halls and attending your classes, that someone would point out your absence from your room- ask you where you’d been. However, it seemed no one had noticed, or if they did they certainly didn’t care. There were no detentions or rumours circling around, and for that at least you were grateful.

True to his word, Ominis stayed glued to your side the majority of the day. Poppy was around during the time he could not be- aside from during Defense when Sebastian resolutely stood by your side and glared daggers at anyone that tried to come too close. You tried to assure him that you were fine, that obviously there was only one person to be wary of, not the entire class. He had only mumbled something back about Eliza being ‘convincing’ before glaring at another Gryffindor boy in the class that seemed to be staring at the two of you for too long. You shot a stinging hex at the boy to get Sebastian to laugh, pulling him from his dour look.

It was in Care for Magical Creatures, a class you shared with Poppy- but with neither Sebastian nor Ominis- that she showed up. You really hadn’t thought anything would happen, that everything she said was just empty threats. Or, certainly, that it’d take some time to plan something. But no, only about twelve hours from her disappearance was Eliza, jumping off of a broom nearby and approaching you with a direct look.

You looked around quickly for your friend, finding her on the far side of the area, spelling multiple brushes to groom the kneazles. She was bent over halfway, one hand on her glowing wand, the other petting a bright orange kneazle that was rubbing against her legs. The rest of the class congregated at other pens and Professor Howin was speaking to them, letting Poppy do her thing as normal. You had wandered back to the tabled area for your bookbag, forgetting your essentials for the class, but now you were alone and separated from the rest, instantly regretting your decision.

You started backing up, turning around to rejoin the class as quickly as possible when you froze. It wasn’t like how Petrificus Totalus had felt, you didn’t stiffen to a board and fall over, but you certainly weren’t staying in place on purpose. You froze in place as if someone had paralyzed you in shape, your foot outstretched to take another step, your face frozen in forced nonchalance. You felt an arm wrap around your own in an imitation of friendship, and the spell gradually let your limbs free. You turn your head to see Eliza, smiling brightly and looking directly into your eyes. She pulled and you followed, eyes widening in fear.

“I think we should have a little talk, don’t you?”

#ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis gaunt x you #hogwarts legacy #fluff #fanfiction #fancy series #gender neutral reader #hufflepuff reader #gn!reader #yes there will be more #this entire series has gained so much traction that its singlehandedly fueling my motivation to write about five other stories #so yes #give me more validation i need it

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