#I need you all to understand how much we deeply hate this thing

[cemeterything]

This isn't a gotcha, so please don't take it as such, but would yuou be willing to explain what it is about VAL that makes her such a favourite of yours? I can't stand her myself, she comes across to me as a bully given god-like power that she abuses for her own amusement, and I've seen you acknowledge as much, but we draw completely different conclusions from that. I just want to understand your perspective.

i've been anticipating a question like this for a while now, so i'm more than happy to answer for you!

you're right, VAL is in some ways a "bully given godlike power" as you put it, and there's no avoiding that (nor do i want to). and yeah, i do like her in part because of that, because i have a fondness for horrible fictional characters and in particular "bad victim" archetypes, of which VAL certainly is one. but i think what makes her compelling to me, rather than repulsive, is that she is fundamentally a cautionary tale and a tragedy. in-universe, she's the scapegoat. the example. the "make the right choices or this could be you". she's inescapably, heartbreakingly human in her awfulness, and that makes her terrifying, but it also makes her deeply sad (at least to me).

i also strongly believe in rehabilitative/restorative justice, so for me, wanting better for VAL is about my real-world principles to a degree. i can't and won't argue that VAL doesn't function as an uncomfortable allusion to a lot of atrocious crimes against humanity (by humanity) within the narative, and that anyone who finds her upsetting or even hateful for these reasons is absolutely justified in doing so. however, she's still a fantasy entity at the end of the day. she's not a 1:1 stand-in for real-world abuses any more than, say, a vampire or werewolf, which plenty of people are more than happy to explore the nuances of. and there's also the question of what punitive measures would even achieve in her case, beyond personal satisfaction for the one administering or spectating them (which is not to say that wanting to punch VAL makes you as bad as she is, just that her arc is, among other things, about how cycles of abuse and violence perpetuate). the worst that could possibly happen to her has already happened. she's been tortured. she's been taken advantage of for her mistaken belief that working for and with the system has the opportunity to benefit her, and died for it. there's nothing to be "learned" from her punishment that hasn't already been shown to us. that she hasn't already internalised. if she were ever to develop a stable conscience, that would be punishment enough in my opinion.

despite being a victim of people not entirely unlike VAL, i personally am not her victim, so treating her with sympathy and kindness whilst acknowledging the elephant in the room that is her many (fictional) war crimes is not something that requires any cognitive dissonance on my behalf. i would cautiously argue that the narrative agrees with me somewhat in this regard - the few times VAL is treated to a genuine act of kindness with no ulterior motives, it shatters her composure and outward conviction that what she's doing is necessary for her personal satisfaction, and even prompts her to reconsider on occasion (sparing the woodsman comes to mind). i'm not saying anyone needs to hug her and tell her she's valid, but if all it takes is some genuine good intent to get her to engage in introspection, i'm willing to be the person to offer it.

[minnesotacore]

Link here

At long last! We have finally vanquished the beast! Rejoice, rejoice south Minneapolis! No longer will the box store of hell triumph over Eat Street! Nicollet will transversable once again!

[lady-ashfade]

Blood And Pressure

Part four

Yandere!Pjo × Fem!Grisha!reader. (Platonic yandere gods) (romantic!various characters)

-♡ Chapters: Previous // Next

-♡ this is a shadow & bone slight crossover. Reader is a heartrender and that's all really (maybe more in the future!)

-♡ words: 1k

-♡ Please note that all characters are aged appropriately, so all characters are older versions of the book characters. So 17-19 characters for these, you can choose any of them really. Just that they are older teens.

-♡ warnings: short, yandere behaviors, obsession, stalking, slightly sick love, possessive, manipulative, gaslighting, platonic yandere too, blood powers, powerful powers but not godly, and future warnings when more chapters come out.

You’d like to say you could understand everything that was happening but you had not even a small clue. You sat in the big house with your bag in hand while the two adults argue over you.

“I forbid her to leave, she’s not hera’s child,” you sink back while Mr.d points his finger at you, “she belongs here, with me.”

The god fought for you to stay with him, he kept you happy and feed, even made you smile. All for someone else to claim you? It made his blood boil and you could see it on his face as he shouts.

“She’s been claimed and even if we don’t understand, it is how things have to be.” Chiron sounded disappointed but stern. Of course he would stay up for you, like he always does. He hated for you to leave but you wanted so badly to leave them and have friends and he could understand.

“Mr.d,” you step forward to the god, “I’ll make you a promise.”

“And what’s that kid?” He hated how he spoke to you but he was just too heated that he could banish everyone kid from camp.

“I’ll come visit and play cards with you every week?” You try and bargain your time, even when the thoughts made your bones tighten at thinking of being stuck like that again.

He looked down at you with a suspicious glare while he thought it over. He didn’t have a choice but that didn’t mean he liked it. So finally he let out a breath and agreed while rushing off and mumbling under his breath.

The next stop you had was weirder.

The cabin was dark and empty. Cold and you could feel your spine shiver at the lack of heat. You glanced around but found no furniture to even sit on. No one was supposed to sleep here. Hera had no half-blood offsprings because unfaithfulness was not her way, and yet here you stand being claimed by her. And something tells you all the gods had something to do with it. Mr. D seemed to be more jealous when he spoke about the queen of gods. Like she was unworthy to have you.

“I suppose we’ll be needing to fetch some essentials for your new home.” Chiron tried to sound happy.

“Don’t worry,” you hold up your arms that carried pillows as far as you can with a reassuring smile, “I’ll survive.” and truth be told your bed was the one thing you would miss about staying there.

You find yourself walking up to the firepit and staring up at the statue of hera holding her staff. The way her eyes looked…you felt calm, but almost afraid of what it would be like to look in the real ones. She wasn’t someone to mess with while even her husband feared her wrath.

“So, Chiron?” You ask. You continue to stare up at the stone goddess. “Do you know why she claimed me.” there wasn’t much hope he’d share his insight. the centaur kept quiet for a second to consider his next words wisely.

“Just as clueless to me. Maybe we’ll get some information in the morning after a goodnight sleep.” Just as you thought. Not a peep from him.

You nod and turn around and place everything you had on the floor which wasn’t much but you were glad you had all you did. Chiron handed you the blankets with a smile on his face and for a minute it looked like he was going to cry while he looked at you.

So you open your arms wide and pull him into a hug, or what you could reach and he chuckles deeply and pats your head. In all his years you were his favorite to ever walk into this camp and to guide you. To him, camp was nothing without you.

You settled in quickly while unpacking what you could to make you feel at home. You had two blankets, one on the floor and pillows on top and the other over yourself. You tried to pick a place to the fire without burning up or being too cold.

And for the first time you were all alone to your own thoughts.

“Pst” a hushed whisper called out from no where. The voice startled you as you jump forward and grab ahold of the nearest thing, your old book.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a camper.” The voice had no body to go along with it making you confused. Was it one of Apollos children? Whoever they were they didn’t belong here.

“Says the person who stays hidden.”

The person in question lets out a laugh and then you see a figure appearing out of no where. A blue cap was the first thing you notice as they move their hand down with it grasped. A girl with a orange camp shirt, pretty eyes and blonde hair twisted into a braid.

“You grab a book to hurt me? Almost seems like you know me.” She smirked amusingly.

She had been watching you since you arrived at camp two years ago when she could, she grew to now you like no one else did. And now you’re out and into the camp with her she couldn’t let you walk without keeping a eye on you. You arrived with percy, another person she needed to watch so it was easy.

“What’s you name?” You ask the mysterious girl.

“Annabeth, consider me your guide from now on.” She walked further and stood above you. Her wicked smile seemed off just like everyone else you have seen.

“What cabin are you from? I heard some kids saying Apollos kids-” she cut you off by waving the hat in her hand.

“Athena.” You nod.

“And you’ll need me.” You tilted your head at her words and arched your brows. Need her? What was she talking about.

“For what? I mean I’m glad to have a friend but..” taking a deep breath as her eyes glint with something almost dangerous.

“For capture of the flag.”

Taglist: @maria699669 @gorgeourrific-nerd @alliriseabove @targaryenluvs @theaaeht @dabalyuteeeftia @weepingwitchofthewest @iris1587 @tulipmagnoliaisme @ameliashideout @purplerose291 @poppyflower-22 @riaaavm @anonymouslyawesome25 @orionspaperwork @a-cat-loverr @Ilpovi @eatmyassfictionalstyle @theanklebiter-blog @nasyu-kookies

[autistichalsin]

Halsin's autism coding really jumps out in his camp confession scene

Both the romantic and platonic one. Starting with the romantic one:

He thinks asking about his past lovers is a sign of interest (I notice a lot of autistic folks like us tend to never get it "right"- when we guess that someone might be interested because of cues we were told were romantic, we get it wrong, whereas when someone is showing certain cues, we think it's just friendly!)

The way he feels the need to explain why he thinks you're interested in him before you accept or reject. This one isn't explicitly explained, of course, but it is very easy to read it as an autistic person afraid of being harshly rejected/told they're insane to think there was a connection, so he puts out an explanation first in the hopes of softening the blow if he turned out to be wrong.

Halsin completely, and adorably, misinterprets the player if they tell him "maybe your heart stirs easier than you think"; he doesn't understand that the player is partially slut-shaming him (which is rude af on the player's end, but he misses this because he's honestly un-slutshamable, so he would never be offended here) and partially asking for clarification- how can you have had many lovers yet your heart doesn't stir easily? Not understanding this, Halsin goes on to tell stories of his past exploits, which are hot and very welcome, but also very much not what the player as getting at.

If the player is an absolute asshole and mocks him by comparing him to a deep rothe, he is crushed, but stays calm, simply telling them that they could have just said no- he doesn't call the player a jerk like they deserved. Just feels very true to the 'tism experience.

This line alone could stand as proof, I think: "Nature gifted us our desires, and the means to act on them. But we muddied its beautiful simplicity with rules, social strictures... clothes." He hates social structures for their complexity, and prefers something simpler. The dislike of social structures, of their nebulous nature, is a core autistic experience.

If the player says they only helped because he's a useful ally, he once again misreads; he misses that the statement was a rejection, and responds earnestly that he sees them as much more than an ally.

For the new platonic path:

If the player tells him they just want him to carry heavy things for them, he responds differently based on his approval levels to them (I.E. based on how close they are and how kind he feels the player is); at low approval, he is deeply hurt by this, and sadly muses that "perhaps not all friendships are destined to be balanced and reciprocal." Yet... he still considers it a friendship, even though that is in practice no friendship at all. A lot of autistic folks have this experience of being friends with people who don't share the same level of affection, or even outright mistreat, us.

In fact, the same thing happens in another variation: if the player snarks about Halsin inviting himself along (a way of saying "get lost"), he laughs and warmly says that he guesses he did invite himself along, and that he will be "more tactful when trying to make friends in future." Declaring oneself friends with others is such a classic autistic experience, but even MORE so is declaring yourself friends with someone who only tolerates, or even actively dislikes, you. It's quite sad- but also very endearing, because I feel so SEEN in that moment.

[queerfables]

'Wilson' as an episode fucking slaps. I'm obsessed with Wilson's complete lack of boundaries and I'm obsessed with the way he acts out to express resentment while still being completely incapable of saying no. He gave a patient part of his liver!! The man is in no way hinged.

For all the emphasis that gets placed on Wilson's failed marriages and infidelity, we don't ever actually see it directly on screen. This is a narrative choice I love, for the record. We see Wilson's relationships through House's eyes and it allows us to understand Wilson as a deeply flawed person without ever making him unlikable, because Wilson's flaws and contradictions are what make him irresistible to House. It's so effective, the way these failed relationships say so much about Wilson's character while being constructed largely out of inference.

In this episode, though, we watch his inability to self advocate play out in real time, and I guarantee that this is what every one of his relationship meltdowns looked like from the inside. On some deep fundamental level, James Wilson doesn't believe "I don't want to" is a valid reason not to do something. You know the fantasy trope of an obedience curse, where the victim is inescapably compelled to obey other people's requests? Wilson casts that spell on his own damn self, and he'll hold true to it even to the point of violating his own bodily autonomy. When you lack boundaries like that, it becomes almost impossible to even know what you truly want, let alone to act on it. So Wilson says yes and yes and yes until it breaks him, and then he still can't say no.

When saying yes feels like surrendering to torture and saying no feels like committing murder, the only option left is escape. So Wilson goes out drinking to trash the liver he's going to donate. He gets dinner with the pretty nurse instead of going home to his wife. All of it is him scrabbling at the bars of his cage. And the irony is that the cage is unlocked, he just has to walk through the open door, and that's the last thing he could ever bring himself to do.

I'm pretty sure that when he went to Cuddy and told her his plan to donate, he wanted her to say no. She almost did! And I think she should have, because her first impulse was right, it is insane. Unfortunately this is the Insane Lack of Boundaries Hospital, and she can't actually be expected to guess when her employee's mouth is saying yes but his eyes are saying dear god no. By the rules of universe that House MD operates within, this doesn't even break a 7 on the "unhinged measures to save a patient" scale, and Wilson invoked the power of friendship. What was she supposed to do?

And through all of this, House is the person Wilson lashes out at. I love, love, love that House is the person Wilson lashes out at. Wilson can't even admit to himself that he's angry about the position he's in. How can he be angry when he's the reason the patient needs a new liver? But House sees right to the heart of everything going on with him, and he says all the things Wilson wants to be true and can't afford to believe. Because if he lets himself believe this wasn't his fault then he might not be able to say yes. And he's going to say yes. And he hates that he's going to say yes. And he hates that House knows he's going to say yes.

So he gets angry with House, because it's safe to get angry with House. He lashes out, because with House, he can. He tells House he's wrong about him, and demands House move out, and that's not at all what he really wants but he feels helpless and coerced and he desperately needs to exercise some kind of control over his own life. The fact that he can let go like this with House is in part about knowing House isn't ever going to leave him - the closeness of their relationship is always defined by what Wilson wants, House has never once pushed Wilson away and fights to reconcile when Wilson wants distance. But it's also about knowing that he can't hurt House by setting boundaries with him. Mostly this is because House will walk right over any boundaries he considers unacceptable, but in fairness, the fact that House is kind of a terrible person is part of his appeal. If Wilson had issues around other people violating his stated wishes, House would be the last person in the world that he should have anything to do with. But Wilson's issues lie in the fear that not being compulsively available and accommodating to everyone around him might permanently fuck up the life of someone he loves. House's fucked up life is never going to be Wilson's fault and even if it was House would still kind of deserve it, so Wilson's anxious people pleasing compulsion can chill the fuck out for five minutes at a time.

I don't want to idealise, there are times in their relationship when Wilson absolutely makes fucked up sacrifices for House. I don't think it's the case that he earnestly wanted to every time. But it's also true that House brings out authenticity in Wilson that few other people manage to. House knows him. House allows him to give in to his selfish impulses without guilt and consequences, and for all the people who love the best in him, House knows and loves his worst. While Wilson is caught up in trying to bend himself into whatever shape someone else needs him to be, what House wants more than anything is the truth. For Wilson, who is so out of touch with his own desires, being an object of fascination to someone obsessed with drives and motivations must be a rush. And if we accept the throughline of this episode, it might just be the case that House's boundary pushing and obsession is something Wilson needs.

[genderkoolaid]

i don not understand this strategy of pretending that trans men never suffer, and if they do it's always below the amount of suffering that trans women face. i cannot understand how such a strategy could benefit trans women at all? why do so many people fall into that line of thinking

Tbh I don't think it's pretending.

I think it's just that people are hurt and blinded by that hurt, especially when there are communities that encourage an us vs them mindset towards other vulnerable people. Transfems' trauma and suffering isn't taken seriously by society, they are often left to rot without support by their communities.

Combine that with the pre-existing transmasc erasure: most people don't really know much about the kinds of things transmascs can experience. Most people rely on their cultural knowledge on transmascs' and their interpersonal experiences, which leaves a fuckton of holes in our understanding.

Ultimately, to be pretentious about the whole thing, people want to be heard and have their pain validated. And because we are deeply insecure creatures, we often end up seeing other people, unfairly, as our enemies in this goal. When that feeling interacts with internalized biases, you get people who make wildly inaccurate claims about others in an effort to validate their own pain. There's a reason that screenshotted post is a single sentence for the transmasc and then an entire, in-detail example for the transfem. The point, to me, seems to be venting about the pain of anti-transfeminine violence. But because Tumblr, the OP felt the need to rope in a vague strawman of a transmasc who exists for no other reason than to be Whiny and Less Oppressed based off the OP's view of how transmascs experience the violence of gender. It makes no sense if you, like, critically think about how misogyny works or if you talk to transmascs (especially those raised in strongly conservative cultures). But the point was never to be accurate about transmasc experiences in the first place.

The same thing happens with TERFs. Many of them have real, genuine trauma and pain that comes from their experiences with misogyny. But, because of pre-existing internalized transphobia and the influence of their TERF community, they feel the need to frame this pain through the lens of trans women being super privileged. They have only a bare understanding of the violence and hatred trans women face, but the point isn't to be accurate about trans women. It's about getting to that feeling of righteous anger and being heard via making a strawman out of a group you are already predisposed to hating.

[seraphimaa]

Give me Raphael who, under the endless bravado and cockiness, is deeply repressed and virginal.

Idk, maybe in devil culture he’s discouraged from exploring his sexual desires because nobody wants the shame that would be brought by his spawn and who would lower themselves to sleep with a half mortal/half fiend? Even if they did, why would he ever trust that their intentions were not to cause harm and chaos to him? That’s the belief he lives by and we see so many outlets for it in game. The kinky punishments for debtors, the obsession and torture of Hope, and even the Glug Glug 9000 that was gifted to him, because daddy knows that Raphael is being driven around by his cock. Raphael, I think, appears deeply uncomfortable and ashamed of his sexual needs and I think Haarlep’s comment of “he only loves himself” is true, but not just due to narcissism. He could fuck anyone, or anything, with Haarlep but I think, instead, he needs familiarity and the only thing he can be vulnerable in front of is himself. And not only that, he doesn’t see it as a time to exercise crazy desires but it needs to be methodical and controlled. Safe. Comfortable. Predictable.

So imagine, along comes this little mortal and like so many times before, he starts the dance he has done so many times. They blush when he says the right things, they hang on his every word, and they look at him with such longing. They are exactly where he needs them, and expects them to be. They’d fallen for the act and he was in complete control.

Until, all at once, he realises he isn’t.

Give me Raphael who has never known anyone’s tender touch but his own, but who can’t stop thinking about how yours would feel late at night or while playing with Haarlep. It haunts him and he hates himself for it.

Give me Raphael who starts to dare to imagine, as much as it tortures him, that someone could actually be his. He had caged the mortal parts of himself up so tightly but the need for someone who was made of the same wretched stuff as him, that could really see him and love him never goes away. Someone to share his empire with who would never betray him or disappoint him and who would would devote themselves completely to all that he was. It was lonely always being in top, he would come to admit.

Give me Raphael who for the first time in his life, starts to show himself to you bit by bit to you and you never shy away, despite all the parts of him, from the gentle to the downright depraved and animalistic. He has no clue what to do with this acceptance. It was a foreign thing. Something not meant for him. Give me Raphael who hates you for all of this. He knows your game. You’re trying to get to him and he will lot give you control. He starts feeding that depraved voice inside of him. All the things he would do to you. How he’d punish you and make you regret feeding the mortal inside of him, through the bars. You saw the him inside. Your understanding of his weaknesses is what you’d use to destroy him. He’d protected it all so well but this would be his undoing. His solution of denial and hate had never failed him, so far, so he’d revert to what he knows

Then…

Give me Raphael who, when you crawl unexpectedly up and onto his lap one evening, kissing and sucking at his neck, can do nothing other than pant and shake at your touch, blushing like a virgin. You’d be so soft and gentle and his ears would be filled with ringing, his own breathing, and your cruel voice, telling him to ‘just let go’. ‘It’s okay’. This moment would be devastatingly painful and euphoric. You’d finally done it. You’d ripped away the last of his control and power. You had finally reduced him to nothing - pathetic and whimpering. You’d bested him and he should have been drowning in the humiliation and shame but holy fuck it felt so good. For you, he’d slowly learn to share his control, sometimes. You were so gentle with him. Your soft hand would teach him a different way to tame the beast inside.

Look I’m an exclusive bottom, but shy and inexperienced Raphael who is putty in my hands? Bark bark bark bark

[sneepseverus]

May I please request Snape x insecure, chubby female reader?

Reader is having a bad day and Snape is there to cheer her up. Can be smut or not, I'll leave that up to you!

Thank you in advance!

Yes! I don't know what exactly you had in mind, but I decided to take the approach I did knowing how harmful social media can be and how easy it is to compare yourself to "influencers" who edit their photos/videos and promote unhealthy fad diets to achieve a body they may not even have lol. I'm sure it's something a lot of us can relate to 🙃

Warnings:

Body image issues, disordered eating habits

NSFW (p in v) -> MINORS DNI

Word count: 1.3k

"Severus, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"Do you...find me attractive?"

He dropped the book in his hands before turning to you to meet your eyes. "Of course, I do, darling." He couldn't understand what prompted you to ask such a question. He may not be the best with his words, but he was certain the way he held you, kissed you, and made love to you were clear indications of his desire for you. Perhaps he was wrong, though.

"Okay, good," you responded, but you didn't seem convinced.

"Where is all this coming from, love?" He inched closer to you, placing a finger on your chin to turn your face towards him as he wrapped you in his embrace. "Did I ever do anything to make you feel otherwise? Please tell me, because—"

"N-no," you interjected. "I just...don't understand how you could look at me and...want me like that."

Hearing you talk down about the person he loved most stung deeply into his heart. "How could I not want you? How could you say that about yourself?"

"I'm sorry! Let's just drop this; forget I even said anything." You pulled away from him, but his grip around you tightened.

"No, I'm not dropping this. Look at me," he ordered, cupping your cheeks as he wiped your trailing tears away. "Tell me what happened."

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you attempted to gather your thoughts without breaking down. "Sev, I...I've been feeling insecure lately. Like a lot. As I was flipping through magazines, you know it hit me that I don't look anything like those women in there. Fuck, it’s so embarrassing to admit because I know I shouldn't compare myself, but it's how I've been feeling, and I just don't understand how someone could be into me like that. I'm not skinny or slim like them, and I...don’t know, but I don’t feel good about myself at all.”

"Do you really think those models really look like that, too? Without manipulating the photographs somehow or compromising their health, at least?"

You shook your head, knowing that he was right, but it was hard to remember sometimes.

"Pardon me, but I find it incredibly difficult to understand how the very same person who finally made me feel content with my own self is talking about themself like this. Do you remember what I was like before we met? I barely ate; I practically lived on black coffee to keep myself awake, alive even. I neglected myself in multiple ways and excused my frequent meal skipping as me being far too busy to take care of myself, but really, I didn't think I was deserving of proper nourishment. I knew what I was doing was wrong but couldn't stop. I came to hate looking at myself because I knew I was the cause of my own predicament. I found myself disgusting, absolutely appalling.

But when you came into my life, you made sure that I ate, even when I wasn't particularly hungry. And I loved all the times we shared meals and cooked together; I still do. Eventually, I put on weight. And guess what else? I'm energized. I can do all the things I need to do without feeling like I'm going to faint. I eat actual food for breakfast now. I can change in front of the mirror without immediately wincing. One might even say I'm healthy. And I can thank you for that."

"Oh, Sev," you whispered.

"My point here is not to make this about me but to emphasize how much you have helped me. I wouldn't wish anyone to be in the position I used to be in; not everyone has the genetics to maintain such a figure naturally. I certainly didn't. I don't know if this is where your mind was taking you, but it would absolutely break my heart if you even thought about taking extreme measures to change yourself.

I'm sorry for failing to make you see yourself the way I do. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you. I love you for so many reasons. You're the most alluring woman imaginable, and not in spite of your insecurities. I find you incredibly...sexy. I crave you constantly, especially when you're not in my presence."

You couldn't find the words to describe the overwhelming love you were feeling at this moment.

"And should you need further convincing..." he continued, slowly making you lie down flat on the bed until he was on top of you, pulling himself closer into a kiss as he let out a moan against your lips.

You returned the kiss, wrapping your arms around his back.

He couldn't help but press his core against yours, thinking about all the times you laid nude for him, ready to take his aching cock. He wasn't sure if this was the right moment for that to happen again, but any doubts were cleared when you ordered him to "fuck you" right then and there.

"Are you sure, my love?" he asked.

"Yes, I want you now; I need you."

He pulled away from you to take off his nightshirt, revealing his bare torso, covered in scars and protruding out. He let you explore him with your hands as it was a sight left unseen most nights. You played with the peaks upon his chest, giggling as your fingers slid down to his stomach.

You sat up to help him remove your own top, leaving you in just your bra. His palms made their way to your waist before he settled there. "Mmmh, you're so gorgeous," he breathed as he placed light, feathery kisses all over your skin.

You whined at each brush of his lips against you, but he wanted to take his sweet time with you. When he was finally ready, his kisses made a trail down, and he slowly pulled off your bottoms along with your panties. You twitched at the sudden change in temperature but spread your legs widely for him.

He inhaled deeply as he took in your scent before placing the last kisses over your center. As talented as he was with his tongue, you didn't want that tonight.

"No, Sev. I want you to take me. Please," you whimpered.

He obeyed you and didn't hesitate to remove the remaining pieces of clothing on his body. As his cock sprang out of his underwear, you unclasped your bra, finally leaving the both of you completely stripped and vulnerable.

He took his length in his hand, placing it on your clit and gliding it through your lips until it reached your entrance. It slid in with such ease, and he groaned as he started to slowly pump in and out.

"I love—fuck—I love you so much!" he screamed. "You are absolutely—ugh—beautiful, stunning, ravishing."

"Fuck, Sev, I love you, too—ah!"

You dug your fingers into his back and wrapped your legs around him as he pulled closer to you, leaving barely any space between you two. You wanted to express how gorgeous he was when he looked at you with his glittering eyes, the strands of his hair brushing against your face when he was this close to you, your foggy brain couldn't think of any words to fully express your attraction to the man you loved most.

Though you wanted this moment to last, neither of you could hold back anymore. Your back arched, and his thrusts became messy as his seed spilled inside your tightening walls.

Unable to support himself any further, he pulled out and dropped right next to you as he lazily kept an arm over your stomach.

When you finally caught your breaths, he pulled you in closer to tightly wrap his arms around you and whispered a final "I love you" before blissfully drifting off to sleep.

[harlowsbby]

Too Much

Requested, Jack and You have been arguing a lot recently and you wonder if this relationship is even worth it anymore.

You sighed deeply as you stood up and began to clean up the house once again. You wiped the tears from your face shakily as you picked up the pillows from the floor.

You hated arguing with Jack because it always turned into a war of who could hurt the other the most with their words. Your latest argument was just about the lack of communication and time spent together.

Lately he’s been out and about doing God knows what and if we were being honest you’ve had enough of it. You just wanted him to be home and to spend time with you but it seemed like he’d rather be outside with his friends than be with you.

Flashback.

“All I’m saying is you’re never home anymore! You’re always out with your friends!” You yelled and slammed the front door shut. The last thing you wanted was for your neighbors to hear the two of you arguing like cats and dogs.

“Am I not allowed out? I’m sorry I didn’t realize this relationship came with all of these rules and regulations.” Jack fired back and ran a hand through his curls.

You sighed and tossed your purse onto the counter and went inside the fridge to pull out the ingredients you’d need for tonight.

“All I’m saying is it would be nice if you spent some time inside with me. You just came back from New York with Zack and now you’re talking about going out with the guys tonight.”

You really didn’t want to end tonight with the two of you ignoring one another you wanted to be able to talk things out like two grown adults but Jack wasn’t listening to anything you were saying.

“Baby I spend time with you all of the time like come on. I rarely see the guys.” You scoffed. “I call bullshit on that you’re always! And I mean always with them.” You said.

You hated the fact that you felt as if your relationship with Jack always came second to his friends. You understood that obviously he didn’t need to be with you all day everyday but you did love to spend time with him.

“Why do you care so much about what I do and who I choose to spend my time with?” He barked back.

“I just feel like you’re neglecting this relationship and I don’t feel like a priority.” Jack shook his head at you. He didn’t understand why you felt that way when he always put you on a pedestal he treasured you more than anything in the world.

“Maybe if you had friends.” He paused and had to think about what he was about to say. “Maybe if you stopped nagging me and found some friends you wouldn’t be so bothered about me hanging out with mine.” He muttered.

“What did you say?” You stopped cutting the onions and turned to face him. “I didn’t say anything.” He lied and went to tie up his shoes so he could quickly leave.

“No tell me what you said Jack.” You stepped to him almost as if you were urging him and daring him to repeat what he had just said.

He huffed and puffed his nostrils flaring as he was trying his best to calm down and to not let his anger get the best of him because he hated arguing with you, he found arguing to be pointless.

But in that moment he knew you weren’t planning on backing down and neither was he it was a war of words.

“I said maybe if you had friends of your own you wouldn’t be on my ass as much. I’m sick of you acting like you’re my mother or some shit.” He spat back and your face fell.

“Tell me how you really feel huh.” You stated and wrapped your arms over your chest. “I think it’s best you just go ahead and go out.” You told him and Jack frowned.

He felt like the biggest asshole he knew you were coming from a good place but his anger got the best of him this time around. “Wait come on Y/N I didn’t mean it.” He went to grab your elbow to pull you back but you pulled away from him.

“Just go Jack.” You breathed out. “I’ll see you later.” You told him and went back to cooking. Jack stood there for a bit a frown on his face and sighed before grabbing his car keys and wallets and leaving out the door.

You sighed and shook your head you truly and honestly hated fighting with Jack. But you couldn’t help but to think that your relationship with him was maybe coming to an end you knew thinking like that was wrong but I mean all you two ever did was bicker and argue.

Flashback over.

“Finally I can relax.” You moaned as you laid down in your bed, after you were done cleaning up you decided to take a much needed shower.

You stood in the shower till the water got hot just trying to clear your mind from what had happened earlier. You haven’t heard from Jack since he left and you weren’t sure if you were.

Usually after a fight or a disagreement he tended to spend the night at Urban’s house or with Nemo so you weren’t counting on him coming home tonight.

It was around eleven when your eyes started to grow heavy you tried your best to fight the sleep incase Jack did come home but in the end the lack of sleep you’ve been getting finally caught up to you and you were out flat.

You were woken up an hour or so later by the sound of things falling from downstairs. You quickly shot up from bed and grabbed the baseball bat Jack always left under your bed just in case.

“Shit, shit, shit.” You cursed as you lifted the baseball up above your head and tried your best to make your way down the creaky stairs without making any noise.

“Fuck.” The so called intruder yelled out and you froze. You knew you needed to do something soon or it would be your ass. You quickly lifted up the bat and just as you were about to swing the kitchen light came on.

“Jack you almost got fucking hit!” You groaned as he put his hands up as a form of self defense.

“So you just automatically think you can just start swinging what if you took my head off with that thing.” You rolled your eyes at how over dramatic he was.

“I thought you were an intruder.” You defended yourself. “All I heard was you bumping into things so I didn’t know who was here.”

“I couldn’t turn on the light I had so much shit in my hands. I was trying to navigate through the dark without being loud but I guess it didn’t work.” He laughed and scratched the back of his neck.

You looked behind him seeing he had a bunch of flowers and some of your favorites chocolates on the counter. “Is all of that for me?” You asked him and watched how his eyes lit up for a second.

“Oh yeah these are for you for earlier.” You nodded your head. “I’m really sorry for what I said baby I didn’t mean any of it.”

“I’m sorry too Jack I shouldn’t have acted the way I did I just don’t wanna lose you.” You mumbled he coo’d and pulled you into his chest.

“I promise you’ll never lose me just like how I’ll never lose you. You’re my forever no matter how much you wanna just slap me.” You both laughed. “I know you’ll always love me.” You giggled.

“Forever and ever.” He grinned and stuck out his pinky finger you shook your head but nonetheless stuck your pinky finger out as well and the both of you hooked your pinky fingers together.

“I love you.” He said. “I love you too now come on let’s get to bed I’m exhausted.” He frowned.

“Are you sure you’re tired I was thinking you know we can do a little bump and grinding.” He licked his lips. “Is that right?” You asked him and Jack nodded his head eagerly.

“I mean I suppose I have a few rounds in me.” That was all he needed to hear before he was lifting you up and taking you to the couch.

(Thank you @earthtoharlow for helping me! I’ve been struggling like a hoe to finish anything 😭 but I’ll have something up tomorrow for Jack’s birthday too)

[kamisatomay018]

My Dragon

Warnings: 16+, dragon and mermaid, mention of dark underwater spaces and mermaid/dragon tails

I’m sorry if this is a little long!

If you’re not comfortable then please don’t hate!!

Neuvillette x female reader

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life Mon Ange”

Holding his hand, you were swimming to the deepest depths of the waters of Fontaine. Neuvillette looked around in awe, observing beautiful creatures he had never seen before, how even though no sunlight reached these dark depths, the plants around them lit up the whole ocean. He felt as if he was in a different world altogether, one where he felt serene and calm, where he felt at home. He then looked in front watching his love guide him to their unknown destination, and felt like his breath was taken away. No matter how many times he saw you like this, he would always be awestruck and fascinated by how beautiful you looked in your true form; that of the Mermaid Princess.

In his eyes, every single detail about you was just phenomenal: your gorgeous blue tail, your long brown hair which had streaks of blue and lavender in them, and the shimmering crown you wore on your head that made every creature in these unknown waters bow their heads in respect. You looked ravishing in his eyes, so gentle yet your aura commanded respect, how you held his hand so reassuringly so he wouldn’t get lost in this unknown place full of wonders. He then felt his heart flutter as you turned your head towards him, locking your gaze with his. Blue eyes met Lavender as the world stopped for him for a moment, gosh he was so in love with you. The man who 5 years ago could not understand human emotions was now so deeply in love that sometimes it baffled him. His love for you was deeper than the deepest oceans, his love knew no bounds and he knew you felt the same way about him.

“What’s wrong love? You seem awfully quiet.”

“Ah forgive me Mon Ange, I was just lost in your beauty..”

You looked away, cheeks blushing pink as his words made your heart skip a beat. Leaning close, you placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“We’re almost there, are you sure you’re ready? If not, we can still return..”

“…No; I’m sure..I can feel that this is the right thing to do, and with you by my side, I’m ready for anything” He looked into your eyes with a soft smile, nodding reassuringly. You smiled wide, intertwining your hand with his once again and started swimming into a little hidden cave that you were well acquainted with.

Tonight was special, tonight you were going to help neuvillette in attaining his true form, that of a dragon. The past few months he had been feeling his power grow, and you knew that it was time for him to gain his true form so that he would become the all powerful Hydro Dragon. You were Neuvillette’s soulmate, in every way, and your connection to him was deeper than that of love. It was eternal and unchanging, just as the tides and the scent of rain. You realised that he needed time and help to transform, for he had no idea what to do in order to reach the pinnacle of his powers. He was born as a human, and due to his foggy memories he was finding it impossible to achieve his true form, until you decided to help him out in your own ways.

You led him inside the cave, which was huge and shimmered due to the countless crystals everywhere, bioluminescent lights emitting from various plants reflecting upon the walls. It was a breathtaking view, perfect for the two of you. You stopped swimming, looking at your lover.

“Alright, now listen to me carefully hm? To achieve your dragon form, you will need time and patience. Tonight you will not become a complete dragon, but we will start by making you familiar with your tail and how to use it. You will look something like me, except your tail will be much longer, and you’ll be stronger than ever. You will attain all your powers today which will help you to fully transform into a full fledged dragon once you’re ready. However, this process can be painful for you…I’ll try do to whatever I can to ease it.”

Neuvillette listened to each word carefully, and just felt so lucky to have you by his side. All of this was quite confusing for him but having you here with him eased his troubled mind. “Alright sweetheart, I understand..But, I don’t know where to start..”

You chuckled, kissing his forehead softly “Close your eyes and just focus on my voice and the water around us. Feel the water around you, become one with it, for it is your element and your home.”

He did exactly that. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel. He resonated with hydro, and let himself relax underwater in this serene cave. He then heard your melodious voice singing a tune and felt his heart warming up. This was the tune you’d hum for him every time he was anxious or sad, and just like that the rain would stop. For a while, nothing happened. But as he focused more on his power, he felt something deep within him stir, and a sharp pain shot throughout his body. He groaned and felt something: a power so strong, an authority unlike anyone else’s and a love so deep that it could drown him. He felt overwhelmed with this whirlpool of emotions, pain and power; he felt your voice fade away as he felt the power of all of the water of eons past surge into his veins.

You on the other hand, gasped at the view in front of you. It had worked, he was transforming and you could feel it. However your heart broke hearing his groans of pain, but before you could reach out to help him, a sudden glow of light pushed you away. A few seconds later as you regained your composure to look at your lover, you gasped and your eyes widened.

There he was, in all his glory, Your Dragon Sovereign. His well built upper body was bare, his long white hair were now flowing freely and his horns, although unchanged, glowed. He now had a huge deep blue tail, his form was so much bigger than yours. His arms were a fading shade of blue as well, and the power that he held made you shiver. You had always been able to feel a great amount of power in neuvillette, but now it increased by ten fold, so much that it was enough to make even the celestial gods kneel in front of him. You approached him slowly as his eyes were shut tight, his breathing heavy from the strain the transformation took.

Gently cupping his cheeks, you spoke softly “Neuvi? Love, are you alright?” He opened his eyes at your words, looking right at you. His eyes were glowing too, and just seeing him in this form made you fall in love with him even more. However, he did not answer you, rather he looked at you with an unreadable expression. As you were about to open your mouth to speak, you ended up gasping loudly, feeling his strong tail wrap around yours, making your body crash against his. Shivers and sparks went up your spine at the contact of his tail against yours. Archons, it felt amazing.

“Mine. My mate.” You heard Neuvillette growl, his voice deeper than ever, full of authority yet love. Tears formed in your eyes listening to him calling you his mate. Finally, you weren’t the only one who felt that deep connection to him. Finally, he too knew that you were more than his lover, that you were his mate for the rest of your lives. You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Yes My Dragon, I’m yours, only yours..”

Neuvillette smiled at your words, his eyes looking down to see his own form, although not complete yet. He loved the way his larger tail engulfed your frame in his arms, and the contact of your tails intertwined together felt so intimate. He looked at you with a gentle smile “So, how do I look Mon Ange?”

“You look absolutely majestic My Dragon..”

At those words, he felt himself act upon his instincts, kissing you with such passion that it literally and metaphorically took your breath away. His strong arms held your body against his, as your kiss became more hungry, more lustful. Neuvillette’s dragon instincts were overpowering his thoughts, he wanted to mark you his. Only his. He wanted to show the world who you belonged to. He pinned you against the glimmering cave walls, being so easily able to control your body just by using his tail. His lips left yours, travelling down to suck on your soft skin, leaving red marks of possession wherever they travelled. At long last, he found your sweet spot, and looked up into your eyes for a second as he bit down, fangs pressing into your skin leaving a dark and permanent mating mark.

You moaned out at the feeling, gripping onto his long hair and then felt yourself gasp as a sudden power flowed into your veins. A power so strong that you knew it didn’t belong to you, it was his. By marking you he had shared his power with you, his mate. “Oh gosh neuvi…my love…”

He smiles, pulling back to look at the beautiful mark on your neck which would never fade away, and then he looked into your beautiful blue eyes which were fogged with desire. “I entrust my powers to you Mon Ange, from this day forth everyone shall know you as the Ruler of not just the mermaids, but also of the waters of Fontaine. You will forever be known as the Hydro Dragon’s mate..”

You felt breathless, yet so loved. You couldn’t believe that you had the fortune of being the Hydro Dragon’s mate. My, how lucky you were. You breathes heavily as as caressed his jaw “I am honoured to be your mate..”

He smiled at you, but the way you called yourself his made his desires even stronger. He needed to make you his, he needed to make you moan his name louder. He wanted these shining walls to be the witness of his everlasting love for you, and one look into your eyes told him that you wanted the same. He kissed you again, this time hungrily, as his lips travelled down to your breasts, sucking on them hungrily.

Your breathy moans were music to his ears, and your body was his addiction. He sucked on your nipples, making sure to give equal amounts of attention to both. After a long while of marking your breasts leaving them red and aching for more, he looked up at you, glowing eyes full of lust and his deep voice laced with desire which clearly indicated that tonight he was not going to stop anytime soon. “I love you Mon Ange..”

“I love you too, My dragon..”

This is some inspo I found on Pinterest to give you an idea of the appearances of the characters! Artwork is not mine, credits to the original owners!!

[neonpaperlanterns]

Hello! I noticed you were open to any ideas or prompts and I thought of one

Reader being a worker of playtime that was Assigned to help dogday taking care of the children (this happens before the hour of joy) and reader has Cynophobia (extreme fear of dogs) and so when they first land their eyes on dogday, panic

Reader tries to avoid talking or being near dogday as best as they could, Which would confuse and made dogday feel guilty thinking he did something wrong to upset them

So dogday being the sweet pup he is tries to comfort and show reader he's not a bad guy

It's a bit long sorry ^^"

[A/n: I almost feel like I should make this a full series. Just to explore the development more]

He's a dog

Everything is fine, it’s perfectly, totally fine. You aren’t freaking out. Yeah totally not freaking out. These palms are completely dry and your heart is beating at a completely normal rate.

So what if things didn’t turn out how you thought they would? You were adaptable, you could roll with the punches. Even if… Even if the punches were this. 

“Alright everyone, we have some new members joining us today!” Says the giant talking DOG. 

This. Is. Fine!

You got this as long as—

The dog is touching your shoulder. His voice echoes in your ears and yeah no.

Nope. 

Nope. 

You have got nothing. Nothing! 

No—

~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes flutter open. Breathing deeply you stare up at the ceiling. It’s a mix of yellow, red, and blue. The paint is chipping in the red part, showing that underneath the ceiling is just plain gray concrete. 

Hm. Where were you? 

“Oh you’re awake!” The voice was cheerful, sunny even. Looking over you are filled with regret. Standing in the doorway of what you now understand to be a nurses office was the dog. Every muscle in your body seized up and it felt like your throat was full of cotton.

“I was so worried when you fainted. Are you alright? It didn’t say anything in your application that you were susceptible to dizzy spells~” He kept talking, his hands? Paws? His appendages moved around animatedly. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he moved closer. His words turned to white noise as he loomed over you.  

If there was some divine being watching from above why did they hate you? Had you done something in a past life to warrant such ire? 

“Oh dear, you look like you’re going to faint again. Is there something I can help you with?” All you could do was blink owlishly at his concern. Words were unable to come as you stared at him. You were sure you looked akin to a deer in headlights. You watched him cough awkwardly into his fist. The smile never left his face but it wasn’t as genuine as before. 

For what felt like forever you stared at each other. 

“Okay, um I’ll leave you to rest. And when you feel better I look forward to working with you!” Some of that sunny disposition returned to his face. You did nothing but blink and watch him shuffle out of the room. 

He said he looked forward to working with you. The sentiment was not returned but you were sure you wouldn't be seeing him much. You were assigned to be the helper of the unicorn. So you were sure you would be able to avoid him as much as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~

There must be a god and they must hate you. They must find your suffering to be the ultimate entertainment. You had thought you were meant to be CraftyCorn's helper. You could have sworn you were. But no! By some unholy sick twist of fate you are actually the assistant to him. 

The desire to cry on your second day of work was overwhelming. But you held it in. Somehow. You had already fainted on the first day you did not need to get a reputation. So you sucked it up. At least you tried to suck it up. It didn’t help that DogDay was so tactile and friendly and inclusive. 

You were living in your own personal hell. 

“Hey there my happy helper!” If DogDay noticed you flinch, he didn’t say anything. But he did slow down and there was still some distance between you two. 

You stared at him. 

He stared at you. 

A cough escapes him as you fidget. 

“I uh need your help with one of the kids. It’s Isabelle.” You didn’t know all of the kids yet so you weren’t actually sure which one Isabelle was. But you nodded anyway and trailed after him. You may not like this but you did like the kids. You would bear it for them. 

~~~~~~~~~

DogDay had no idea what he did wrong. He watched the other Smiling Critters with their helpers. Everyone was getting along. It was so nice to watch the others but then he glanced over at his own helper. Who sat with their shoulders hunched up around their ears and a perpetual thousand yard stare.

He had thought that maybe you were just shy. Not yet used to them but he has seen you interact with the others. You were quiet but happy. Talking freely and playing with them and letting the children climb all over you. But the moment he walked over you would freeze up. Any pretense of joy wiped from your face and replaced with a blank look. 

He confided in Catnap and KickinChiken that he felt like you didn’t like him. Catnap had simply flicked his tail at him but KC told him that was impossible. He said that DogDay was a rad dude and his helper just needed time. 

But it’s been a month and every attempt to get to know you was met with either silence or your rapidly walking in the other direction. He just didn’t understand and it was driving him crazy. Had his first impression been too much? Did he come on too strong when he came to see you in the nurse's office? 

He wished he knew. He just wants to be your friend.

~~~~~~~~~

You were starting to feel like a jerk. At every turn DogDay was trying to be nice to you and at every turn you would bolt away or shut down. And he definitely noticed. How couldn't he? You weren’t known for subtlety, especially not in this situation. 

Though with the forlorn looks you were getting from DogDay you wished you had been. 

“Hey Happy Helper.” You watched as his hands did a lackluster wiggle. He wasn’t looking at you and they just made you feel even worse. 

“H...H..” You swallowed thickly. “Hey Bodacious Boss.” Did you just say bodacious? To your boss? From the look on his face he was just as shocked as you. Though you don’t think it was because you said bodacious. Probably.

After a moment of silence with you staring at each other, DogDay recovered first. He was looking at you now and he was smiling and his tail was wagging. Seeing him light up made you feel a bit better. Your hands were still clammy and there was a lot of saliva pooling on your tongue but it was nice to see him happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Can I ask you a question?” DogDay picked at the fur on his wrists. It’s only been a week since you spoke to him and boy was he nervous. He didn’t want to ruin whatever this was. 

“Hm?” You were making sandwiches for the kids. It would be lunchtime soon. Shuffling in place he took your noncommittally hum as que that you were listening.

“Do you like me?” He watched as your shoulders stiffen. That blank look slowly creeping back onto your face.  

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” 

“I’m afraid of dogs.” You blurted out stopping DogDay in his apologetic tracks.

“What?” It was his turn to blink owlishly. Not really sure what to say right now.

“When I was younger there was an incident…” You waved your hand in the air, like you didn’t want to remember it. “Anyways it messed me up and ever since I have been terrified of dogs.” You continued to make sandwiches.

“I’m a dog.” He says rather dumbly. 

“I know.” You nod as you heave a sigh.

“I’m.. I’m sorry.” He frowns as he pulls at his ears and he can feel his tail sag against his legs.

“Please, don’t be.” You look up at him, a tight but genuine smile on your face. Your hand shakes a bit as you raise it in his direction. 

“I like you. You’re my Bodacious Boss.” DogDay felt his tail twitch as he tentatively took your hand.

“I like you too, my Happy Helper.”

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

[misstycloud]

How to stop your husband from being weird: situation one- digging in the middle of the night.

One of the things that I have noticed about my dear husband, Arlo (bless his soul), is the constant digging in our backyard; he leaves in the middle of the night and when I dare glance out the window, I see him. His back is always facing towards me, so I can’t get a good look at his face. He is a very expressive person and I can tell what he thinks from simply looking at his face, hence why this is somewhat concerning.

Had I known that my dearest would wake up during ungodly hours of the night, get dressed, fetch the garden tools from the shed, and then proceed to dig a massive hole, then maybe I would have hesitated to say ‘yes’. (Do not be worried, I love my husband deeply and this was just a little joke.)

Joke aside, it is still very annoying. Does he not know this will keep me awake too? I have work to do and I can’t keep on going if my sleep is this disturbed. I would have to be some sort of abomination- a vampire perhaps?

That is not all; I find dirt particles inside our house; I clean for nothing apparently.

I have tried bringing this up(somewhat hard to ask your spouse why they are leaving you all cold and lonely in the middle of the night) with Arlo, but every time he changed the subject. The audacity! He even asks me if I’m ill and is in need of a doctor. I tell him ‘I am quite fine thank you very much!’ and remind him my eyesight is good, I’m not imagining things and I know he’s been up to something in the yard. I also know he’s not preparing to pot new plants for summer so he better not try that with me.

Last time I tried prying the answer out of him, he finally relented and gave me what I wanted.

His explanation: I have been finding a lot of roadkill and other deceased animals lately. I didn’t want you to have to see it. You know I work so many hours, I don’t have time during the day, that’s why I bury them at night. It’s horrible, but understandable since they’re rebuilding the library and trucks loaded with materials drive by often.

Whether I believe this explanation or not doesn’t matter. There is factor agreeing with his explanation and there are ones that goes agaisnt it.

Those vouching for him: it is true that trucks drive by often these days since the library really did catch on fire recently. It was an unfortunate accident casued(according to the police) by some teenagers. They played around with a lighter and things escalated beyond their control. The saddest part is that I can’t go to the library anymore, I suppose I’ll have to find new hobbies to entertain myself until the library is rebuilt and restocked with books. Another thing is that I do like animals and it definitively wouldn’t be fun to see a run-over one in real life. My husband is very caring and wouldn’t expose me to something he knows I hate, therefore it makes sense for him to bury them in secret. Besides, his job is demanding and he actually wouldn’t be able to do so in the day.

All of this form one solution that is: burying the dead animals in secret from his wife(me) during nighttime as to not disturb me or his work hours. (If we look away from the fact I wake when he does)

Factors indicating he’s lying: how come I have never found a roadkill if they are so common nowadays? It’s unusual for him to come home before me, and if he’s that busy with work, it wouldn’t make sense for him to find all of them before I’ve even caught a whiff of something foul nearby. You see what I mean? Secondly, there is not reason why he should be the one doing all this work. Surely there are professionals dealing with here things? In that case then he should call them instead and tell those truck-drivers to be more careful.

Ultimately this is very suspicious, but what else can I do? Statistically, there is a high chance(I believe?) that your husband will have at least one weird hobby. I will have to live with that and I have said to him ‘I love you more than anything and if this is something you wish to do then o won’t question you.’

He was almost in tears, it was adorable. He said, ‘Yes, my love, thank you. I also love you more than anything in this world and I would be damned if something came between us.’

Afterwards I lectured him on not bringing in dirt in the house again, though. This was his answer: of course not, my darling!

To summarise this incident: my husband still visits the outdoors at night, however not as often as before. I warned him, too, of being careful because a bunch of men have been going missing lately and I’d be devastated if his name came up on of of those reports. I shouldn’t say this- but I will- I’m kind of happy those men are gone. I recognised their names and/or faces from the papers, you see. It turns out that all of them were ones I’d met previously. I won’t bore you with the details, but they weren’t pleasant encounters.

Everyday I have checked the floor for dirt and have found none. This is very good news for my ‘cleaning-spirit’. Whenever I feel Arlo leaving the bed I have decided to relax my mind and go back to sleep again. Then, if I’m still half-awake, I will feel him laying down beside me once more and together we drift off to dreamland.

The lesson I learned from this is that you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything about your partner, and they are allowed to have their special hobbies. There is a difference if you’re being harmed in the process, though. If that’s the case then you should immediately speak up about it and you compromise. Remember, communication is key!

———

Written by: (Y/n) (L/n)

[akindplace]

I know it might be really hard to believe things get better right now, and you’re probably feeling a lot of pain and that’s making you wonder what’s the point in trying but I promise you’re not worthless, you’re not beyond helping, you’re not broken beyond repair. You’re just a person who has been through a lot and you haven’t had a break in so long, so it’s no wonder you’re so tired. Just as other people are deserving of good things, you are too. Just as they need rest, so do you. Just as they deserve help when they feel lost, so do you. You don’t have to go through all this alone.

And even though you might feel unloveable, people do notice you, people do care, even if it’s someone you don’t really feel that close to. There are people out there who are looking for someone like you to be connect with, who will think you’re funny and won’t judge you for being weird.

All the hate you have received wasn’t fair, and it might make you feel like there is something deeply wrong with you and therefore you don’t deserve any help, but just as humans have a huge capacity for doing awful things, we also have the ability to love, to help, to persevere, to create beautiful things. I hope you don’t give up on yourself, and that you are able to find help with whatever you need, and that you find the love, companionship and understanding you’ve been craving.

No one deserves to go through so much pain all alone, but please don’t isolate yourself out of fear of how others may perceive you, your pain, your problems. You deserve to be seen, to feel connected. There is hope, so please hold on, please get help if you need to, please try to talk to someone, please don’t give up. Things can still get better. I’m wishing you the best.

[bakugoushotwife]

Inextricable P2 (Sasuke x Fem!Reader)

a/n: okay plz don't hurt me im so sorry...this one is brutal, and we'll definitely need a part three to wrap this all up and I will need your help with a decision so look for the poll i'll link!!

summary: Sasuke has left the village and training has yielded amazing results. Kakashi grows anxious about your future, Sasuke finds a way to communicate, and you've unlocked your Mangekyo sharingan...but how?

warnings: a shit ton of angst you guys, spoilers for Shippuden, major character death, decently long once more

pairings: sasuke x uchiha!fem!reader, slight naruto x uchiha!fem!reader

wc: 6230

part one // part three

“No.’ Comes from Kakashi sternly, his hand closing around your wrist quickly. “It’s even more dangerous for you now.” He says, hoping you would understand. 

You try to, tilting your head to the side to contemplate the risks. “I’m strong enough to handle them.” You reply after a while, giving Kakashi a crazed look of your own. He knew you harbored the same hate and desire for revenge in your heart, so what had stopped you from joining Sasuke when he had asked? 

Naruto cleared his throat. “Kakashi-Sensei! We have to go after him right now! You know I’ll keep Y/N-chan safe!” He protested alongside you to no avail.

“We need to alert the Hokage, she’ll decide how to proceed, you two. I’m sorry, but if you went after him you would be doing the same thing he is.” He said meekly, he was fighting himself. Your arrival had changed everything about him, made him a more careful and thoughtful person. He cared for you deeply, this was known. The danger you faced now put a lump in his throat. Sasuke was unpredictable, and as much as Kakashi had changed, he started out in a very similar place. Kakashi didn’t have anyone dear to him at that time, but he knows if he had known Rin then he would have done anything to keep her safe. Kakashi could only hope Sasuke considered you dear to him. He couldn’t rest his hope on that alone, knowing the risks involved. 

Naruto grumbled at Kakashi’s ruling. Kakashi knew what he would have to do. He would have to tell Tsunade and Naruto your true persona when you all briefed her on Sasuke’s desertion. Knowing the truth, Naruto would be motivated to keep you and Sasuke apart for the time being and Tsunade would prevent you from being put in harm's way. 

Boy was Kakashi disappointed by the results. He had miscalculated. Naruto was surprised, mouth hanging open at Kakashi’s every word, even if he didn’t quite know who Shisui Uchiha was. It hurt him to think that his friend, a boy he views like his family, would hurt you. He had known you for a short time, but he valued you. You were kind to him, you were very strong, and you always shared your snacks with him while you waited on Kakashi to start training. 

But Tsunade heard the implied part of the story, and her thoughts were focused elsewhere. She, unlike Naruto, knew exactly who Shisui Uchiha was, and the way she studied you like a bug under a microscope made you nervous. “Younger sister of Shisui…a secret Uchiha. Kakashi, your daughter is already a top chunin, correct?” She asked, still staring at you. 

Kakashi’s heart rate quickened. “Uh, you could say that, sure.”

“And she’s not using her doujutsu or any abilities associated with the sharignan?”

He shifted his weight uncomfortably. He knew what she was really asking. “I’ve helped her harness her abilities in private, but as that would expose her identity, no, she doesn’t use them for her missions and classes.”

Tsunade smirked, very interested in the power you truly held. If Sasuke was led astray, perhaps Naruto could persuade him back on track. Or maybe you could force him. “So she’s already hailed as a Hatake prodigy, thanks to you. Yet if what you tell me is true, she’s only using a percentage of her abilities.”

Kakashi doesn’t know how to respond. He’s not exactly sure what Itachi’s motivations behind all this were, but he does know it wasn’t his choice and that certain people would send assassins after the female Uchiha if she was discovered to be alive. He didn’t like the hungry glint to the Hokage’s eye, he had made the wrong decision. Tsunade would use you and Naruto as weapons. 

“She’s supposed to be dead. It would be a great danger–”

“Danger? Is she not stronger than Sasuke?”

“I am.” You declare, knowing that in your heart Kakashi was worried about you, but your worries lay elsewhere. 

“She is–Lady Hokage, I’m not concerned about Sasuke, if I’m truthful. There are leaders, people from other nations that fear the Uchiha name, people of our own village.” Kakashi points out, folding his arms over his chest gruffly. He looks at you sadly before he continues. “If word were to get around of a female Uchiha, a second survivor. That leaves the younger brother of Itachi Uchiha alive and the younger sister of Shisui. There is potential for Sasuke and Y/N to rebuild a pureblood powerful line of their clan, and they won’t allow this. She would be under attack.”

Tsunade sighs. She organizes her words in her brain before she says them. “That’s why she’ll need more training. Naruto will leave for training with Jiraiya soon.”

“Are you suggesting I send her to train alongside Naruto?”

“It’s something to consider, but I would also be interested in students. I’ll take both your girls.” She smirked, knowing medical nin is something Kakashi has introduced and taught the basics of, but there was no better teacher than the Tsunade Senju. Plus her chakra seal would increase your power by a large margin.

You look to Kakashi expectantly, hoping he accepts this proposition for you and Sakura. 

He sighs, knowing he couldn’t get out of this. “I think that would be wonderful for the two of them. On one condition.”

Tsunade shakes her head, knowing what Kakashi was about to propose. “No can do, Kakashi. She needs to train and go on missions using her true talents. If assassins come, we will deal with them. You can keep her safe, you have this far.” The fifth Hokage stands and folds her arms, leaning against the front of her desk. “Besides, if she never fights with her all, we’ll never know what she can do.” She reaches her hand out and pats your head. 

Later that day, Lady Tsunade sends Shikamaru to round up a team to go after Sasuke. He doesn’t ask you to go, probably because the way your fight against him went back during the chunin exams. It still upsets you when Naruto comes to say goodbye, promising Sakura and yourself that he would do whatever it took to bring Sasuke back, and not to worry. 

The years pass seemingly slowly. Naruto left the village to train with Master Jiraiya, a lively and funny man. You knew Naruto would have fun, and hopefully develop rapidly. 

This left you and Sakura to train with Tsunade. Admittedly, Sakura was better than you, naturally drawn to the art. Don’t misunderstand, you were very talented, but you would much rather spend your time learning more jutsu from Kakashi. 

You can’t deny how helpful the chakra control has been, though. You earned your seal, able to use it for your jutsu and not consume any power. This impresses Kakashi every time he sees you do it, mentally proud that he has taught you to be more powerful than him. You were brilliant, he thought. You already exerted amazing chakra control before, but Tsunade’s training has made you a well rounded threat.

He loves you, he realized this when Sasuke left the village. You see, he had known for a while that he cared for you, he thought it was similar to the way he cared for the members of his team. He would do anything to get Sasuke back, to protect Sakura, or to make Naruto feel encouraged. Anything that wouldn’t require him to leave you too long, of course. For you, there was truly nothing he wouldn’t do, and he wonders how he could feel so powerfully for a child that isn’t his own. 

“Check this out!” You call out, dissipating yourself. Kakashi can’t see you anywhere, a puff of smoke clouding the air. He pushes his headband up and scans the area, no sign of your chakra. He becomes worried instantly, the issues since your reveal as an Uchiha seemingly endless. Had another assassin come, jumping you at the perfect time?

His troublesome thoughts are interrupted by a swarm of leaves swirling around in the wind and pooling at his feet. He realizes a second later, as you start reanimating in front of him. You smile, a girl three years older, a girl proud of what she’s learned seeking his approval. 

You make it easy to give it, the jutsu powerful and sneaky. Most times, you would be too quick and unsuspecting that it would be hard to catch that it was a leaf substitution jutsu at all. “Nice work Y/N. Keep practicing and you’ll get faster.” He nods, a smile of relief cloaked beneath his mask. “It’s a nice ode to Shisui’s flicker.”

You nod, still beaming. “It worked on Shikamaru!” You share animatedly. Shikamaru was always your test subject before you showed Kakashi a new move, his wits being top of the line. Your rule of thumb was if he figured it out, it wasn’t ready. “I have another, if you want to see!”

He leaned against a nearby tree, arms lazily folded across his chest. “Let's see.”

You smirk. Instantly, your sharingan sings to life, all three tomoes swimming to their rightful positions before your eyes even open again. “Plant style: lifeless limb!” You call, weaving the corresponding sign. The tree Kakashi leaned against started to move, the branches growing to wrap his body in their clutches. Kakashi jumps out of the way, looking at you to read your next move. You lock eyes for a moment and continue weaving signs, incorporating some fire and some wind style into your barrage, but only the minor stuff. You wouldn’t want to hurt him too badly after all, he hadn’t realized he was in a genjutsu just yet. 

This was the one you were most proud of. This delayed sense genjutsu makes the opponent see your movements 20 seconds later, giving you plenty of time to get in the finishing blow. For the purpose of showing Kakashi, you just used your extra time to get up in his face and make a silly pose. 

When he realizes what’s happened, you’re standing in front of him, making a goofy face with the assistance of some of your fingers to give you a pig nose. He chuckles, it’s genuine and warm. He’s overwhelmed with pride, that genjutsu enough to make your name feared, if it wasn’t already. He gives you a fond smile, resting his hand on your head. Yes you had grown in power, but not much in height. “That’s amazing! You sure have made me proud.”

You didn’t realize how hearing those words would make you feel. You begin to tear up. If it wasn’t for Kakashi, you didn’t know where you would be. Would you even be a fraction of this talented? Loved? Supported? You crush him in a hug. You two had an amazing bond, but were both horribly awkward. Neither of you ever knew the proper protocol for interaction or physical affection. He wasn’t your father, but he absolutely was your Dad. Life was short, you would know. Losing everyone you care about will put things in perspective in that regard. Kakashi has been the only constant in a life full of variables, and for that, you love him. “Thanks, Dad.”

His eyes widened, surprised by the force of your hug and then the words that followed. He only places his hand on the back of your head, the other returning your hug.He looked down at you, your hair pushed back by the same purple headband he gave you at six. He was moved by that, for it was no accident. You had let it slip before, but always turned red and apologized profusely after. This time, it was carefully chosen, and it almost meant more now that you were nearly grown. You recognized everything he had done and continues to do, and you wanted to thank him for all of it, not just today’s training. The other jounin often asked if he felt like he lost the ability to have his own real family, or if he felt like he didn’t get to live a full life. He always answered honestly. ‘No, she is my own family, I just didn’t have to deal with a crying baby.’ and  ‘I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.’

He takes the time to carefully craft his own reply. After all he realized the answer to his earlier question: it was him, his influence is how you tame your rage and why you stayed in the village. “Always, my girl.” 

You hum, relinquishing him from your hug. “I’m going to meditate, then I’ll be home.” You say, neither of you keen to sit in emotion.

He nods, taking a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it then. I’ve got to meet with Tsuande later, so I may not be back for dinner. Don’t wait up.”

It’s your turn to nod, letting him walk away entirely before you turn to address the other wave of chakra you detected while your sharingan was still active. 

“You made it.” You say with a deadpan tone. “You’re lucky he didn’t see you.” You add, wondering when the bird got there.

The black bird’s head twitches, talons gripping the lowest branch of the tree closest to you. “I’m not worried about him.” The deep voice said calmly, it had lost its lilt of arrogance. 

You sigh and move to sit down, leaning your back against the base of the tree. “I am, and you claim to worry about me. So by association…”

“I worry about you because you could be stronger, he’s holding you back.” The voice says from the mouth of the crow. 

You chuckle. “Any stronger and you wouldn’t stand a chance at beating me.” You declare, shaking your head from his earlier comments. “Kakashi means a lot to me, so be nice. He was your sensei.” You add, trying to imbue some respect.

He scoffs. “That’s why I would win. I didn’t have anyone to cuddle me through my nightmares.” He spits, and you know he doesn’t mean it the way it sounds. 

“I know, I wish you had.” You say sadly, staring into Sasuke’s sharingan. His crow cocks it head toward you. “I mean something to you, that’s why you send this crow, is it not?”

Silence reigns for some time. “You’re my only competition. I like to keep close tabs on you.” The bird hops down from the branch, landing conveniently on your thigh. Now you have to look slightly down at the creature of chakra.

This causes you to smile, you try to hide it behind your hand, but from the way the crow’s eyes narrow you can tell he’s already seen it. Sasuke quickly cleared up any concern about being a threat to you, sending this crow for the first time just two weeks after he left. “Yeah, you like to spend your days chatting with the enemy?”

He groans. “It’s not exactly that.”

“I know. It’s you worrying about me.” You correct, lovingly stroking the bird above the beak. “Or is it a coincidence that you started visiting me again when the first assassin came?”

Again, the crow just tilts its head side to side for a few seconds. “Idiot Kakashi for telling that moron of a woman!” 

You bite your lip, knowing when to pick your battles. “I’m glad I get to be myself now, in any event.” You say cheerfully, adjusting your headband carefully, before reaching down for your shinobi headband tied around your thigh. “It means I get to go on missions and fight with my full power. It feels good.” 

“Imagine how free you would feel with me.” He hummed, the crow spreading its wings but unmoving. “Your training is finished, Y/N. Face it. I’m almost finished myself. My offer stands, my dear, I can still come get you when it’s time for revenge.”

You bite your lip. You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about it. You missed him horribly, despite how things went the last time you spoke in person. You had been communicating like this for three years, and it only brought you closer and reminded you both of a simpler time. You still want revenge on Itachi. Of course you do. He killed your brother and entire clan, forcing you into a life consumed with fear and guilt. As grateful as you are for Kakashi, you would have much preferred your brother and true parents. 

Kakashi. That’s the reason you hadn’t left already, along with your other friends. You see the way Sasuke’s departure has tortured them, and you don’t know if you’re capable of doing the same. Maybe he was right, the day he left. In most ways, you’re so powerful. In this way, you are weak. 

“I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about leaving Kakashi?”

“He’s the only family I know!” You defend, irritated by the complexity of the emotions squeezing down on your heart. “Of course I don’t wanna hurt him by leaving! I miss you, it feels horrible to miss someone this bad. But Sasuke..your path, I’m worried about what you may become. It’s only natural to feel the way you do–”

“Shut up.” 

You furrow your brows, prepared to keep going. 

“You either miss me, or you don’t.” Sasuke states plainly. 

“Sasuke…”You pause, gathering your thoughts. You feel the way his eye scans over you, like he was worried you would lie. “You are all I have left. I’ll join you…for a time, and if you promise me something.”

His bird leaned in, anxious to hear your conditions. 

“It’s just you and me. We don’t work with anyone evil. We can work to be pardoned that way.” You reasoned. Part of you knew he wouldn’t agree to it, part of you hoped he would. Despite the disappointment that Kakashi would still face, you ached to see him again. You knew Kakashi would eventually understand, he would forgive you. 

More silence followed. “I’ll think about it.” He finally said, parroting your earlier words through his crow. You hum in response, absentmindedly reaching for your hair to play with. “If Tsunade revealed your true identity, why are you still coloring your hair?” He asks, hoping to change the subject to something more palatable. However frustrated you made him, he does care for you. He struggled to admit this for a time. He would see the color green in the oak trees around him and the quaint ponds he passed on his journey, and he would think of your tricycle and the way your childhood giggle sounded. He remembered the emotional whirlpool from the night of the massacre: the relief of seeing you alive, the fear that you would still be killed, the sadness as Itachi confirmed that he was to blame for everything wrong with your life, the agony as his brother suggested he earn a Mangekyo from killing you, the grief as he watched Itachi cart you away. He remembers the relief he felt, seeing your face again during chunin exams. He remembers letting Naruto and Sakura close to him in hopes they would earn him Mangekyo someday. He loves you, in his own warped way. He doesn’t know exactly what that entails, just that he could never harm you or allow anyone else to. 

“I like the way it looks, the colors make me feel part of both clans.” You reply with the truth as always. You were ever honest, and he valued that part of you too. “Plus, it still throws off the occasional assassin.” You chuckle softly. 

He groans again. He also likes the way it looks, you are impossibly beautiful. Sasuke was no slouch with women, as you remember from adolescence. Yet no girl compared, they didn’t glow like you did. No one could possibly understand him the way you did either, he didn’t have to watch his words around you. He didn’t have to wonder who you were loyal to, despite his annoyance with your fondness for your adoptive father. He can’t exactly compliment your appearance, so he decides on, “That was so stupid. She put a target on your back.”

“She wanted me to fight with my full ability.” You argue, trying to put it in perspective. 

“By declaring to the world that the Last Uchiha Princess is in the Leaf? Moronic.” He huffs, very dissatisfied with the attempts on your life. “You would be safer with me too.”

You arch your brow, a small blush creeping its way up your neck. “Last Uchiha Princess huh? I kinda like the sound of that.”

Your neck catches a sudden chill and you power up your eyes, scanning for the reason. Sasuke’s crow flies back to his original position on a tree branch, wondering what came next. It always made him nervous to visit you like this for this reason. If this was an assassin, he wouldn’t have time to get to you. The leaves rustle,, it gets closer before a tall figure emerges from the treeline.

“Y/N-chan! Sakura told me you were here!” His raspy voice calls as you get to your feet. Your mouth drops open, Naruto’s appearance a total surprise.

“Naruto-kun? I didn’t know you were coming back today!” You giggle, closing the short distance to give him a hug. He holds his arms open for you with a blush on his features. Sasuke wants to throw up. 

“Yeah I kinda wanted to surprise everyone! Your hair looks great by the way, you look pretty great.” He says smoothly, pinching a few strands of your hair in his fingers. 

“Oh–well, thank you…” You tuck your cheek to your shoulder, embarrassed that Sasuke was listening to all this. “You’ve gotten so tall! I trust Jiraiya-sama taught you a lot?”

The blond nods eagerly. “Oh yeah, koibito! I’m back to keep you safe and get Sasuke back!” He says, features coming together determinedly, an arm slung around your shoulders. The crow caws in protest, making you chuckle. 

Koibito? Why would Naruto call her that after so many years apart? Surely he didn’t feel like she was that close to him, Sasuke wonders angrily to himself. Maybe Naruto had noticed how beautiful you were the whole time and wasn’t afraid to make it known. 

“Who says I need anyone to protect me?” You ask, arching a brow at him, but it applied to Sasuke as well. “I’ve been training this whole time too, I’m a powerful kunoichi!”

Naruto smirks, looking at you with a renewed sense of determination.”Wanna bet? I’ll take you right now!” 

You tilt your head to the side, sorry Sasuke. You can’t turn this one down, you wanted to see how much he had grown and if you were strong enough to keep up. 

Sasuke watched as his two closest comrades sparred, every action being countered accurately. Sasuke was impressed with your speed and tenacity, the way you used your talents was much different than him. You were aggressive, but it was fun. Naruto was on the defensive for quite some time, not able to fool your sharingan with shadow clones. Sasuke didn’t care for it much when the fight went to the ground, his rival hovering over your body. He would peck his eyes out if he could. 

But it was just the opening you needed, activating your delayed sense and leaf substitution consecutively. Naruto fell abruptly when your body turned to leaves beneath him. He springs back to his feet, searching for where you would reappear. But you rematerialize right behind him as if you had been there the entire time. You turn and smirk at Sasuke, pointing a kunai to Naruto’s back. 

When Naruto feels the kunai, he gasps. He hold his hands up, “You got me! But what the hell was that?”

You giggle. If you giggle at Naruto one more time, he may just go ahead and attack the leaf before he kills Itachi. “You just haven’t faced my sharingan abilities! It was genjutsu.”

“And you punch harder than Sakura! You’re amazing, Y/N-chan.”

“Thank you Naruto, your fighting has certainly come along. I’m sure Kakashi will be excited to see your progress.” You smile softly. 

As if you had reminded him, he jumps slightly. “Oh yeah, I gotta go see Granny Tsunade! Maybe Kakashi-Sensei will be there! See you later Y/N-chan!”

You wave goodbye to the boy, turning back to Sasuke’s dissatisfied crow. “Oh don’t look at me like that, mister. I’m the Last Uchiha Princess after all!” 

You’re not sure if crows can roll their eyes, but maybe Sasuke’s chakra beast can. It certainly looks like it anyway. “You two basically made out in front of me.”

“It’s nowhere near like that, don’t be jealous.” You pout, fixing the purple headband once more. It strikes Sasuke then that you wear it as a reminder of him. It almost made him forget your taunts. 

“I don’t even know what it feels like to be jealous, and I certainly wouldn’t get jealous over you.” He asserts, his voice corrupted with annoyance. You can tell he’s lying. 

“Oh good, so I guess now's a good time to tell you I can’t make tomorrow’s session.”

“What? Why?”

“My date with Shikamaru.” You tease, throwing out the first name you can think of. 

“You would choose that bag of slime over me?” He growls, disgusted by the idea of you in the hands of anyone else. No one could ever understand you like he does. 

“You’ve never asked me on a date.” You giggle, knowing just how to press his buttons. 

“I’ll take you on a date when I see you again.” He huffs, shutting down your giggling fit. He was satisfied with the blush on your cheeks and the way your lips parted with surprise. He knew just how to shut you up. 

A few months later, you walk into the forests to ‘train’ as per usual. You expect his crow to be there waiting for you, but it isn’t. You search for it with your sharingan, refusing to believe Sasuke would stand you up. You hoped he was alright, nerves getting the better of you as you slid your back down the trunk of your meeting tree. The ground stops your momentum when you sit. You resign yourself to wait, just hoping he would show up to ease your fear if nothing else. 

Within the next hour, his crow materializes on your knee. “You’re late.” You smile softly, reaching out your finger to pet the bird. You wonder if Sasuke can feel the touches, and what it feels like for him. 

The air is different, you realize. He’s not clinging to his only happy emotion right now, he’s consumed with grief and darkness. “What happened?”

“Itachi is dead.” He announces, but it clearly brought him no relief. You can tell there’s more to this story, so you arch your brow and wait for him to continue. “It was all a lie. All of it. He showed me the truth.” He said with a tragic fondness in his voice. 

  “Wait, a lie? He killed them all, I saw the blood on him.”

“That part is true. The 3rd Hokage and some other pigs I’m going to kill arranged it. Our clan was about to revolt against the Hokage, they had been treating us like an infection. My dad was leading it…they made Itachi kill them all. He told them he would spare me, but he couldn’t expect them to spare you as well.”

“I don’t get it, we were kids, why wouldn’t they allow it?”

Sasuke’s answer reminds you of what Kakashi delicately explained to Tsunade that day your identity was revealed. 

“Because the two of us can revive our clan and keep our kekkei genkai strong by not diluting it with other clan blood. Given Itachi and Shisui’s relationship, it’s natural that they expected us to be close and maybe marry later in life and rebuild.” 

You open your mouth to express your feelings, but close it quickly when you realize you don’t know exactly how you feel. You suppose the logic makes sense, and if the entire village was at stake you understand why Itachi made the decision he did, to prevent the 4th Great Ninja War. Yet still, is that what Itachi designed? “Well that’s a silly thing to be worried about.” 

“Is it? You feel the affinity we have for one another. I think they are right. Itachi placed you with Kakashi for safekeeping, he felt he owed that to Shisui. He never killed him, Shisui also tried to stop this but it didn’t work, Danzo Shimura attacked him and stole his right eye..he gave the other to Itachi and then..”Sasuke pauses, taking a shaky breath through his already shaky tone. He wanted to pick his words carefully, to best comfort you when he could not physically be there. “He threw himself into the river, activating Itachi’s Mangekyo. Itachi loved Shisui, and it hurt him to take the blame for his death. He felt horrible, letting you believe that.”

He watched you take it all in, your eyebrows furrowed together as you analyzed everything that you heard. Finally, you make a choking sob sound, making Sasuke frown. “B-but he wanted you to kill me! For your Mangekyo!”

Sasuke flashes his new eye for you. “Hearing all this, seeing it from his brain…it was enough to awaken.” He explains quickly, watching as tears fall from your eyes. “He needed us to hate him, it made it easier that way..he needed me to grow up alone so that I could pursue this journey of truth. But now, now that I’ve learned the truth I’ll make sure anyone involved in this is dead, and then I’m coming for the leaf!”

You blink several times, soaking in the reality he just presented. Your tears are quiet but ever flowing, and Sasuke wishes more than anything to be there, to hold you when he told you this, to take you with him on his journey. But he couldn’t, you would probably seek Naruto or your teammate Kiba’s comfort, and the picture of that made his stomach feel like he swallowed fire. 

“Attack the leaf? Sasuke! If what you said is true, then Itachi did all of this for the leaf!” You say once the latter half of his declaration soaks in. “I’m in the leaf, what, you’re gonna let your emotions take over you again and kill me anyway?” 

He grimaces, he shouldn’t have mentioned that part of his plan to you yet. “I could never hurt you, Y/N-chan. You are my koibito.” He asserts, yearning to reach out a hand and wipe away your tears. He always hated to see you cry, and his childhood self would wipe your tears every time.

“Killing my friends would still hurt.” You state, blinking away any trace of emotion.

“I’ll think about it. Y/N-chan, please don’t treat me like this.” He asks quietly, noticing your guarded apprehension that was caused by his promise to destroy your home. 

“If this is who you are, then I’m going to treat you like it. Kill those involved and no one else, this village as it stands now didn’t do anything to us.” 

“Alright.” He relents, and you know you’ve made some distance with him. He called you koibito earlier, a sign of his true affection for you, a thought that makes you smile. 

“Koibito, eh? Sakura-chan will be heartbroken.” You hum innocently, dying to see him again. He can see you, but you had no idea how he had grown since he left. 

He chuckles softly. He honestly could not care what Sakura thought, but you’ve always been more thoughtful. “She’ll move on.” 

Tsunade tried. She tried to make sure Naruto was ready, she tried to send out her most powerful teams to stop the damage. That’s what you tell yourself as you jump tree-top to tree-top on your way back to Konoha. You had a sinking feeling in your gut when you left for the Sand a week prior, but you didn’t know it would lead to this. You could see the destruction for miles, and all you could hope for is Naruto to make it back soon. You were definitely powerful, but no match for this Akatsuki member alone. 

When you make it to the scene, all you can see is injured shinobi and confused, fearful faces. Ahead, you see a massive light, Kakashi’s chidori blade, you thought to yourself as you bounded that way, tuning out the protests of your classmates and higher ranked shinobi. 

When you get to him, there’s two bodies. One you can identify as Pain himself, the other looking just as mutilated and powerful. Kakashi fights, by himself, against these two powerful villains. You couldn’t have that. You were smart enough not to call him dad here in the battle scene, knowing it would only make both of you easier targets. You jump into the fight, capitalizing on the element of surprise. You weave signs to grow your plants, but they’re easily crushed by Pain’s pushing jutsu.

“All their eyes are connected, Y/N!” Kakashi calls out, and you return a nod. 

A look of recognition flashes across Pain’s face. “Y/N Uchiha…what an honor.” As Pain throws an attack your way, Choji and his father appear to help. 

The fight continued, your jutsu being rendered useless, if you could just get one under a genjutsu…but no, they were expecting that, younger sister of Shisui, prodigy of Kakashi. 

You find yourself throwing fireballs and wishing Naruto would just show up already. Pain’s Almighty Push traps you and Kakashi under a pile of destroyed building rubble. Kakashi breathlessly begs Choji to get back to Tsunade and report Pain’s abilities, staring at the man with his Sharingan. Pain holds a nail between his fingers, the metal tool gleaming in the sun. 

Kakashi tries, kamuing the first nail away. “Y/N..you have to get out of here..I don’t care what you see. Get out of this village. I love you very much, you have given me something I didn’t know I needed, child.” He says, your eyes immediately pooling up with tears. This sounded an awful lot like a goodbye, and there was no part of you that could leave him to die. 

“Kakash–” You blink rapidly, the tears dropping in fat pools in the dirt. You could only move one arm, the rest of your body swallowed by dirt and debris, but you reached for him. If this was the last time, you could risk it now. “I love you too, Dad, that’s why you gotta keep going! I know you’re tired, but please!”

“Kakashi of the Sharingan,..Y/N Uchiha. Green Goddess of the Leaf, both of you shall know Pain.”

The nail was flung from his fingers like Kakashi was a magnet. The sound it made when it killed him was the same sound your heart made as it shattered. Kakashi’s head flopped forward, and with the change in chakra evident immediately–you knew he was gone. You scream out, kicking and screaming against the rock caging you in. The sound you make is horrible, even the other group of shinobi hears you wailing. You feel a new wave of chakra, using it to turn on your eyes, you know what you’ve done. Your Mangekyo Sharingan. 

Shisui’s Kotoamatsukami was so powerful, you hoped your own ability was somewhat close. In fact, you gamble your life on it. You should be able to enter Pain’s thoughts, and from there, control them so subtly he never knew he was being controlled. You point a finger at him, feeling your control seeping into his mind. You smile, knowing you would avenge Kakashi. 

“You will know complete devastation.” You challenge, resigning control of your own body in favor of controlling his. You realize you can’t influence his thoughts, but you can control his movements. You use this ability to dig yourself out, looking through this murderer's eyes, you see your eyes staring back. The rage that you see almost makes you fear yourself. You slide back into your own consciousness as more shinobi show up on the scene, Pain choosing to engage them first. 

Naruto will be here soon, you think to yourself, staring at the forest ahead of you. Kakashi was once the only reason you stayed in the village, and he was the very thing begging you to leave. You have officially lost everything. People have schemed against you your entire life, giving you nothing but heartache and an immense appetite to square away your depression. Your feet move themselves into the treeline, numbly trusting that Naruto would save the day. 

Or not, you can’t find yourself caring anymore. The Leaf was home because that’s where your people were, but now that they were all dead, friends and teachers alike, you didn’t care what happened to that place. 

Your only thoughts were Kakashi, and what he meant to you, his last words. He wants me to go find him, you say to yourself. And then your mind shifted to your newfound ability, this baby kotoamatsukami that could be harnessed, and the only person who could help you do that. 

“I’ll be there soon, Sasuke.”

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tags: @cococola-cocaine @hinari27

[black-arcana]

the GazettE members says farewell to Reita

With the passing of Reita, the members of the GazettE have shared their heartfelt and heartbreaking farewells to the brightest bassist out there, Reita.

In the farewell messages, the members make mentions of the “forever” that Reita wished for, referring to Reita’s last tweet posted the day before his passing.

Reita’s last tweet: “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”.

In our translations below, we tried to keep the messages as faithful to the original source as possible, taking into account nuances such as vocalist Ruki’s use of hiragana for “Reita” (れいた), and the other members’ use of “REITA” in capital letters, and more.

Please read every word that the members had to share.

Vocalist Ruki

I think the meaning of what [Reita] posted at the end, “I hope that the GazettE lasts forever”, is that he wanted to be able to see that amazing view from the stage in 2023—the view that he saw with his own eyes—for the rest of time. That view he saw together with you, the fans. Your happy faces. That place where all of us raised our voices together. That wonderful, irreplaceable treasure. I think that he thought it would be wonderful if that moment would last an eternity. I remember you saying that you wanted to play a show soon. “Even when I’m having a hard time, getting together with my band members like this and laughing is when I’m having the most fun”, he was the type of kind, passionate guy, who even after becoming an adult could say this with total honesty. I loved that honesty. We even joked around about taking care of our health this year, just like we did every year on our birthdays. This band will never be a 4 member thing. No matter what anyone says. You’re the only bassist for us. I know your soul is always going to be there on my right-hand side. Nobody will be able to see it, but we’ll feel it. That proof of life that you built with the GazettE will live on. That’s what I believe. That you’ll always be beside me as I keep singing, Reita. We’ll never become something that you’d hate. I don’t want to make you sad. Humans lives are finite, but I think the soul remains. Your soul will live on, in us, in me, in our fans. I want to keep playing shows that will make those I love want to come back and play, even when they’re just souls. Because all of our fans are here for us, we can create that view he wanted to see and keep him here with us forever. So please stay by my side from here on out, too. I know he’d like it best if you remembered him with a smile, and how amazing he was, instead of being sad when you see him. We’ll be more than ready to look after this band from here on out. We’ll show you that “forever” you wished for, Reita. So make sure you come down from heaven for every show, okay? We’ll always have a seat for you. Things are going to get really busy from here on out. Once we’ve settled on a schedule, I’ll contact you again.

Guitarist Uruha

To all the fans who supported REITA until now, I think he was a huge source of support for everyone, including myself. I still can’t accept that he’s not here, that we won’t be able to stand on stage together again. I think there’s going to be a lot of things I’ll come to understand slowly over time. But drowning in sorrow forever won’t let us bring his wish to see “forever” to life, and I deeply feel that I need the strength to keep moving forward from here on. I also think that the road we paved with him to get here is irreplaceable, and I think we all want to keep that alive inside of us in the future. He gave us so much, and stood by our side for so long, and now and forever, he will be one of my closest friends. Please keep all the words, the memories, and the love for everyone that he gave us in your hearts. REITA will live on in our hearts. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for always supporting the GazettE and REITA in more ways than one.

Guitarist Aoi

Out of all the things and all the work I’ve had to do with these members and our small team of staff, this is the only one I haven’t wanted to do. There was a time in the past when I considered giving up on my dream. Back then, after so many discussions, and some encouragement, the other members managed to convince me not to give up. That’s the kind of band we are, and that’s how the GazettE came to be where it is. REITA, you’re not the type of person who wishes for eternity. You’re the type who is eternal. To someone like you, I can’t say something clever like “I’ll carry the weight of your burden too”. I wanted to make more music with you, and see so much more together. No matter where or what, if it’s all 5 of us and our fans are there, it would be amazing. It’s so painful, having all these things I want to say and knowing none of them will come true. Anyway, when I make my way over there, I’m going to give you a stern talking to. You must be sad that we’re suddenly not around anymore, but just rest up until we meet again. I have a little more that I need to do on this side first. Thanks for coming all this way with us. Rest in peace.

Drummer Kai

REITA was such a huge presence to me, more than I can even know. All the words, saving me with sound, the mood maker of the band; really, I have so many truly wonderful memories of him, but most of all, his brilliant appearance when he was on stage. He was the best partner anyone could ask for in the rhythm section, truly one of a kind. That hasn’t and will not change. I want to carry his memory with me, and be more determined than ever to continue the GazettE. Lastly, to all our fans and associates who have supported us throughout these 22 years, Thank you. I want to keep running forward, all 5 of us, and hope you’ll stay with us. REITA. Rest easy. Thank you. Just like always, with everyone by our side, we’ll keep the GazettE alive. I promise. I don’t want those 22 years of yours to be wasted, and there are plenty of others who don’t either. Make sure you show your face at our shows! Let’s drink the good stuff together again sometime, okay?

We tried to get these message ready for you as soon as possible, but reading through them was extremely emotional and difficult for us.

While we understand that for most, this might not provide any real closure, but we hope you were able to grasp the sentiment and genuine emotions that the members shared.

As fans, we will continue to protect that “forever” too, Reita. Please rest assured.