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cheolhub · 1 year

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LOVE SCENE — LEE SEOKMIN ࿐

summary. you’re scared that seokmin might want to go separate ways after graduation, but he proves, in more ways than one, that he wants you. forever.

wc. 2.3k

warnings. college au. nerdy soft dom!seokmin, breeding kink xx, obscene amounts of dirty talk, pinch of angst, literal love making, unprotected sex, marriage kink, HEAVY praise, baby talk, v minimal plot im sorry — MINORS DNI 18+

note. DAMN ok i have a lot to say so i’ll keep it short. ONE this was a request but like i kinda didn’t do anything the request asked for and im so sorry, i hope u can forgive me anon. TWO i literally lost sight of the plot so dont ask me abt any missing details ehehb just enjoy seok being hot <3 THREE happy belated birthday to my minnie <3 FOUR thank u to my luvr @rkiv4d for beta-ing. yas ok enjoy

p.s. reblogs and feedback are extremely appreciated— i also love to hear ur thoughts <3

how seokmin pulled you, the most beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, he has no clue. he’s what people call a ‘nerd’ with his thick-rimmed glasses and his abnormally high IQ and you’re the pretty girl that didn’t understand the simplicity of covalent and ionic bonds who fell head over heels for him.

you couldn’t help it, he was so smart and so fucking pretty. he was awkward and he giggled when he got nervous and he was so unbelievably goofy that it had you laughing till you cried. nevertheless, he was the most beautiful man ever.

then you asked him out. he remembers it like it was yesterday. the last day of your chem class– the end of the first semester of your sophomore year– right after your final. you thanked him incessantly, giving him a hug for helping you get a B in the class. you told him you’d rather thank him another way— another way being a date. with you. at your place with a homemade dinner.

he would’ve been stupid to decline. so he didn’t. and the rest was history. seokmin became your boyfriend, grew more confident in himself, and fell in love with you.

now you’re in your final year, the last few weeks approaching quickly, and you’ve been anxious. anxious about seokmin leaving you, anxious about going separate ways after graduation, anxious that this was all just fun and games till it was time to get serious about life.

seokmin has picked up on your behavioral patterns over the past 2 years. he knows you so well, probably better than anyone else in your life– probably better than he knows himself.

so when seokmin sees you evading his eyes with his cock stretching you open, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“hey,” he whispers, stilling inside of you. when you don’t turn your head and your eyes are still closed, he calls for you. “baby?”

you feel your heart clench at the pet name. “hmm?” you hum.

“baby, do you not wanna do this anymore?” he questions worriedly, ready to pull away from you. “i can pull out.”

you mumble, “i-i do.”

he cocks his head even more confused, “talk to me, pretty, what’s going on?”

he pushes into you some more, making you gasp and you can feel his expectant eyes burning holes into your face. you then realize he’s not gonna let this go, but it’s partially your fault for letting your mind wander while he was putting away the dinner you guys ate. you decide to just come out with it.

“‘m just… so scared of graduating…” you whimper between your words, eyes screwing tighter.

he hums, “look at me, baby.” the demand comes out so soft, yet the sheer dominance of his voice makes you clench around him. you turn your head on the pillow, opening your eyes, and finally looking at him. “why?”

you shudder at the eye contact. he looks so pretty, so concerned over you, yet you’re still tense and oh-so nervous. the topic of post-grad has never come up, and now you’re mid-fuck about to tell him how you want to be with him forever.

“i-i’m scared that… that you’re gonna go off without me,” you pant, hands wrapping around his biceps and holding him to keep you stable.

“where am i gonna go, beautiful?” he whispers, bottoming out and fully sheathing himself inside of you.

you whimper again, his massive cock filling you so well. “s-scared you’re gonna go do big things ‘n leave me…”

he freezes at that, eyes widening, “leave you?” he asks incredulously as if he couldn’t believe that you’d ask that question. “baby, you think i’d leave you?”

you nod slowly. “i dunno, ‘s just that i’ve been thinking ‘n you’re so smart– gonna go get a real job that’s across the country or something…”

he’s honestly bewildered. why would you ever think something like that when he’s tried so hard to show you how much he loves you every single day?

“oh, baby, i would never fucking leave you.” he presses his forehead yours, nose rubbing against yours. “pretty fucking thing, i adore you— love you. more than anything.”

your eyes glisten with tears at the reassurance. you feel yourself relax under him, entirely fluttering at his words. “really?”

“yes, really. how can i prove it to you? want me to put a ring on your finger?” he whispers, breath fanning against your face.

you gasp, clenching around him again, fingers digging into his muscles. he smiles, chuckling airly at your reaction.

“my pretty baby wants that? you like that idea?” he asks, his sultry voice filling your ears. “you wanna be my wife?”

you nod your head, eyes fluttering shut as you moan, “yeah, w-wanna be your wife.”

your response has seokmin reeling. he pulls his hips back and slams back into you making both of you moan again.

“yeah? bet you want my kids, too.” he states boldly, mind cringing at his words and internally freaking out that you’ll get turned off at them.

you choke, clamping tightly around his length. “f-fuck.” you cry. “d-don’t say things like that, seok.”

“why? ‘cuz i’m right?” he grunts, thrusts growing faster.

you nod your head and seokmin nearly cries, cock twitching at the idea of pumping you full of cum and getting you pregnant with his kids. you’d be such a great mom and he’d love having a mini-seok running around a nice, big house fit to take a family.

admittedly, he’s been wanting to talk about his future with you. he’s been fantasizing about it since the first time he said he loved you. fantasizing about you being his wife and living together in a big house and having three kids and living happily ever after as if it were some fairytale. he’s imagined your kids and how they would be a constant reminder of his everlasting love for you. he hopes that they’ll look like both of you– kids with your eyes and his nose. he’d kill for that.

“wanna put a baby in you,” he mumbles, lips ghosting over yours. “swear to god, ‘m gonna give you everything you want– ‘ll get you a ring ‘n a house– everything. just say the word.”

you lift your head to press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth like a mad woman. your stomach drops in anticipation, suddenly craving the feeling of his warm cum filling you to the brim, sure to get you pregnant. your legs wrap around him, heels digging into his back and you can’t resist the cry that he ends up swallowing at the new angle.

seokmin pulls back, panting, “gonna let me give it to you, baby?”

“uh-huh!” you nod, eyes screwing shut and jaw going slack as his speed increases. “yes, yes, please give it to me.” your response is wavered as you nearly choke on a sob of pleasure.

and you know the decision is haste– a baby even though you still have a month left of undergrad seems… absurd to say the very least, but you don’t need to think about anything. you know seokmin. you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. he's an amazing boyfriend and person in general. you already know he’d make an even more amazing husband and father.

who would’ve thought the nerdy man with glasses who was insanely good at chemistry would be the one you ended up with?

he lets out a guttural moan, “such a good girl, always saying please.” he praises, slamming into your sweet spot repeatedly.

and jesus fucking christ, your moans and cries are like music to his fucking ears.

his head falls into your neck, licking and sucking at your skin. “never gonna leave, i promise. gonna make you mine, gonna take care of you.” he mumbles into the skin as he continues to mark and ravage you.

the stimulation and his words are sending you into orbit as your stomach churns and tightens at the feeling of his cock rearranging your insides. his strokes are impressive, never missing a beat and unrelentingly hitting the spot that makes you crumble.

he feels you tighten around him, gummy walls squeezing him in and he curses, “shit, is my pretty girl gonna cum already?” his voice borders on condescending, but it only makes the tightrope in your stomach all the more closer to completely unraveling.

“y-yeah, so close,” you moan breathily as your pants increase, chest rising and falling rapidly. “so fuckin’ close, min, ‘m gonna cum.”

his lips find your ear and he whispers hotly against the shell, “come on, baby, cum for me so i can fill you up.” he gently tugs at your earlobe with his teeth and you can’t resist, back arching with a shiver running down your spine.

your orgasm brings you immense pleasure, white spots filling your vision as you cum with a loud sob. you feel it in your entire body, from your curled toes to your thrown back head. your eyes roll back, calling out his name and raking your nails down the skin of his arms.

he coos, holding back a groan at the way you get even tighter as you soak him in arousal. “thaaat’s it, baby, just like that. so, so good for me.” he coaxes you through your euphoric high, fucking you through it as he always does.

“s-so good,” you slur, parroting his words as your mind numbs a bit.

he moans, letting the sound of your whimpers and the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting fill the room. he buries his head in your neck again, desperately rutting into you so he can let go, too. your eyes flutter closed again and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to you.

your overstimulated pussy pulses around him as you listen and whine along to your lover's muffled moans. you can tell he’s close. so close to giving you the life you’ve imagined for almost 2 years. so close to being yours forever.

“seok, cum inside me,” you whisper and his hips stutter, yet they keep moving as if they have a mind of their own. he lifts his head and looks at you– his eyes are clouded over and teary, yet they’re filled with all the love in the world.

he looks so beautiful above you. his face is scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, eyes droopy, mouth hung open as pretty sounds exit his loose lips.

“i… fucking love you…so much.” he says in between pants, thrusts growing sloppy. the telltale signs of his fast approaching orgasm becoming heavily apparent. “god, so much, baby, love you so much.”

you nod your head, mirroring his pleasured face. “me too, seok, i love you.” your words are a bit scrambled, but seokmin makes sense of them– understands you so well.

his eyes roll back a bit at your response, brain momentarily malfunctioning, but he comes back seconds later. “gonna take this load like a good girl, right, pretty? gonna get pregnant and let me marry you?” he moans out breathily, cock now twitching uncontrollably.

“yes, yes, yes, please, wan’ it so bad!” you beg.

it’s all he needs to press his hips to yours, stilling there, and releasing inside of you while he moans out your name so prettily. it’s a newfound feeling for both of you– his cum coating your cunt, filling you up till it’s spilling on his freshly washed sheets. he’s grown accustomed to finishing on your skin or into a condom, but this? this is all very new. this is something he now can’t live without.

you think the same thing when you feel him spraying your walls with his thick ropes of cum. it feels so good– so euphoric– while it’s leaking out of you. you don’t know how you’ve gone your entire adult life without experiencing this at least once.

“c-came so much, baby…” you whimper, feeling him pull his cock out of you.

as soon as he sees his release dripping out of you, he groans softly, already feeling hard again, but he decides to ignore it for now, bringing his attention back to you.

“hey… love,” he says softly, noticing the way you perk up a bit from your tired state just at the sound of your name. “you should’ve told me you felt like that… i hate that you thought i’d just leave you ‘cause we won’t be in school anymore.”

you frown, “i’m sorry, i didn’t know how to bring it up without being awkward… it’s the real world and i dunno… things are different.”

he sighs, hands running up and down your naked sides. “i get it, but like i said, i wanna be with you forever.”

you blush, biting your lip to hide the wide grin that ends up on your face despite the fact. “yeah, i remember… was that a proposal by the way?” you ask meekly.

he squeezes at your waist, “did you want it to be?” he beams.

“i mean, it was a bit untraditional, definitely not how i expected my wedding proposal to be.”

“what? you mean you didn’t think you’d get proposed to while i had my dick inside you?” he asks with faux incredulity. “i, for one, thought this was the best proposal ever. i even put a lil baby in you.”

you giggle, wrapping your legs around his body again, “you don’t know that, i’m not pregnant… yet.”

his heart swells at the idea and he smiles brightly at your blushy face, “well, maybe another round can change that, hmm?”

you pull him closer to you by the strength of your legs and say, “make me yours then, seokmin.”

#seokmin smut #dk smut #dokyeom smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin x reader

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moonstruckme · 3 months

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Hi!! Could you do a Bodyguard!James Potter x reader where he is guarding her during a high profile event and something happens? With a bit of angst to fluff? If you’re comfortable of course! I hope you have a wonderful day, i’m new to your page and ADORED your bodyguard james. <3

Thanks for requesting lovely <3

cw: guns, shooting

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

You shift your stance a bit and have to bite down on a whimper.

“I’m going to have to throw these shoes out after this,” you mutter to James. “I’m pretty sure there’s blood pooling around my toes.”

“You wanna take them off?” he murmurs back, lips barely moving as he keeps his face in a mask of businesslike impassivity.

You sigh. “I wish.”

“You could. Just step out of them, no one’s looking over here.”

It’s true. Every camera in the chamber is pointed to where your mom stands on the podium, her right hand raised as she takes her oath. As much as you hate coming to these things, you can’t ignore the kernel of pride shining behind your sternum. She’s waited so long for this day, dealt with so much opposition, and now she’s finally going to be able to enact some real change. You can keep up appearances for her.

“I’d better not risk it,” you tell James. “With my luck, the second I do—”

You’re on the ground before you even register the sound of glass shattering. James’ grip on your shoulder is harsh, almost painful, but the noise that follows has enough adrenaline spiking your bloodstream to forget about that. The loud, rapid popping of gunfire fills the chamber.

James’ hand moves to clasp around your elbow, but you tear away from him, headed in the opposite direction. The podium is empty. Where’s your mom? Did they get her already? Is she hurt? Did she—

You’re not fast enough to outpace James, definitely not limping around in your heels, and he gets an arm around your waist, hauling you away from the center aisle. You can’t tell where the gunfire is coming from—who has the guns?—but he pushes your head down before you can look. A low buzzing burrows into your ears. You try again to go to where you last saw your mom, but James yanks you back to his side, a cutting “Stop” hissing past his lips. Any other time, a tone like that would have you stilling like a frightened bunny, but you know he’s not the danger here.

When you don’t listen, he lifts you off the ground. The crowd is swarming, frantic and disorganized, but James maneuvers through it expertly, running down the hall until he finds an unlocked door. The bathroom door swings open for you, and James sets you down quickly, locking it before you have a second to recover.

You lunge for the door anyway, only for twin bands to wrap around your middle. They pin your arms to your sides and press you securely to James’ front.

“Stop. Stop it.” His tone is as hard as his grip, dispassionate to your struggling. “You cannot fight me when you’re in danger, understand?”

“They’re not here for me,” you plead. Your voice is scratchy with desperation.

“No, but I am. I’m here for you.” His hold tightens, but now it’s less a restraint than a comfort. You can feel his heavy breaths tickling past your ear. “Your mom has her own detail, okay? She made it out before we did, they probably have her somewhere safe.”

Now you can hear your breathing too. Short, stilted pants that wheeze in and out of you. You think you might be shaking.

“That’s enough,” James says gently, starting to lower you both to the ground. Your knees give easily, relinquishing your weight to his hold until he settles you both on the tiled floor. “That’s enough, alright? Can I let you go now?”

You’re not sure you want him to anymore, but you nod. He slips out from behind you, checking the lock on the bathroom door and then removing his gun from the holster at his hip. The sight of it makes your trembling worsen. He checks something with it while murmuring to the people on the other end of his earpiece, convoluted jargon you’ve long since ceased paying attention to.

“She’s fine,” he says after a minute. “Your mom. They got her into an office, and now we’re all just waiting for security to clear the building before we can go.”

You drop your head to your knees, relief like a tidal wave washing over you. You hear James’ footsteps move back toward you before his big hand lands on your head. It smooths down your hair as he squats next to you. When you glance at his gun balanced on his knee, he catches the look.

“I have to keep this out for now,” he says, looking you in your eyes like he’s making a promise, “but the safety’s staying on unless someone tries to come in here. Okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod, still trying to get your breathing under control.

James strokes your head again, his touch weighty and reassuring. The noise outside of the bathroom seems to be lessening, but you’re not sure how much sound is blocked by the door. There could be shooting still happening just past it, people hurt or dying in the halls.

“I’m sorry for fighting you so hard,” you say quietly.

James blows out a breath. “I get it,” he admits. “In those situations, it’s natural to freak out and head toward the person you want to keep safe.” He flashes you a little smile. “I’m lucky it’s already my job to do that.” You grimace back, but his expression grows serious again when he says, “You just have to keep your head, though, you know? The whole reason you and your mom have protection is to make sure someone else is already looking out for you. You don’t need to worry about her, you just need to trust me.”

You look at him. His body is still taut, ready for a fight if one comes to him, but his expression is gentle. It’s easy to forget it’s his job to take care of you when he seems to do it so naturally. Caring emanates from James like it’s the core component of his soul.

“I do trust you,” you tell him.

His mouth slants, expression unbearably fond. “I know, sweetheart. We’ll work on those instincts, okay? I get that it’s not an easy adjustment to make.”

“Have you ever had to do that? Run away from the person you cared about the most?”

He shakes his head. “Like I said, I’m lucky. I always get to run towards you.”

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kaciebello · 4 months

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Bring a scythe to a sword fight

Masterlist Luke Castellan x Hades! reader (implied, fem) Percy Jackson x Hades! reader (platonic) Summary: The reader is gradually suspicious, not believing Clarisse is the lightning thief Warning: Angst?, no use of y/n authors note: Idk, I kinda blacked out writing this, sorry if it does not make sense. English is not my first language so I am sorry for any mistakes beforehand. Proofread by me and me only :( Word count: 1.6k

Ever since Poseidon claimed Percy and he was moved to cabin 3, the camp became lonely. He eats at his own table, gets to choose his camp activities, and calls ‘ lights out ‘ whenever he feels like it. The other campers think he's a monster magnet now. Most people avoid him, and even Clarisse stays clear of him. Only 4 people in this camp don't seem to be afraid of him. Grover, they often pick strawberries together. Annabeth, who took it upon herself to teach him ancient Greek. Luke, who still gives him sword lessons, although they are now more of one-on-one sessions. And the girl Luke seems to have heart eyes for. She mostly hangs out around them when they are training. Such as now.

Luke, was not going easy on him, as always. But Percy was still on his feet, meaning he was improving. Or that is what he believed in before Luke managed to tap the back of his knee and make him fall. A frustrated groan leaves him when Luke's sword touches underneath his chin.

“Giving up?” Luke asks and moves the sword away, extending his hand to Percy. He takes it and gets up. Percy can't help but curse a little.

“Don't worry bubble boy, Castellan is just a show-off, you're doing great.” Says the girl, who was sitting on a rock this whole time, nose in some sort of book he did not recognize. Scoff leaves Luke as he puffs out his chest. Percy picks up his sword and turns his whole body to the girl.

“I'm not really sure of that.” He says, hesitant.

“Trust me, once you take on one of the other campers you'll be alright, Lukes is just hardcore when it comes to it.” She says, putting her book down and getting up, stretching her body.

“ How about we give Percy a break. Why don't you fight me? A little spar?” Luke says and walks to the girl, offering a sword to her. Her face twists in disgust and pushes it away. Laugh just leaves his friend before he turns to Percy in the fastest way possible.

“ She claims I'm hardcore, but the truth is, I've never seen her with a sword in her hand,” Luke says, smirking when he hears the girl scoff. Percy's eyes widen.

“You don't fight?” He peeps out, higher than he wanted to. She just shook her head.

“I'm a healer, I don't fight. And I certainly don't play with swords” She says and flicks her hand. Luke rolls his eyes when she sticks her tongue at him.

“How do you survive capture the flag?” Percy asks, he's still not sure he understands the game. He also notices his friend now sitting down and decides to sit down on the floor as well. She, again, shakes her head.

“ I don't play, I stay in the med tent.” She says sitting down next to Luke. Although to Percy it looked like Luke dragged her to him more. He wondered if he could also do that. Just not play. Although Luke probably wouldn't let him. Percy spaces out, not noticing the older campers sitting now a little bit close to anyone's liking, giggling. He also does not notice Annabeth heading their way. But in his defense, she could have been wearing her Yankee cap, he would not know. Her voice snaps him out.

Turns out she was not there to laugh at Percy's poor fighting skills, nor was she there to spy on his progress. Luke was needed, ‘counselor duties’ she said. Completely ignored the fact the other two campers there were technically counselors of their cabins too. Luke told them both he would see them at the bonfire and followed Annabeth back to the camp. Leaving the two forbidden kids alone.

“Ya know,” she says. “I could beat him.”

“What?” Percy turns to her.

“I could beat him up in a sword fight, I just chose not to.” She says getting up, and picking up her book. Percy just gives her a confused look and she sighs.

“ You could too, with time I mean.” She extends her hand to him and helps him up. “We are children of the big three, Percy. There is a reason why they promised to stop having us. You and I, by default, can be the strongest people here. Even someone like me can beat the best swordsman in the last 300 years in his own game. You just need time.”

Till now Percy thought he was the only one. I did not accrue to him that she may understand. Now that he thinks about it, Percy can count on one hand that he has seen her interact with other campers, not counting Luke of course. Percy now realized he wasn't alone in this lonely life of Poseidon's son. She is, kinda, his family now too.

—

“ We know who’s the lighting thief.” Says Percy on the other side of the Iris message. She and Luke were just in Chiron's office discussing what to the with the other campers, as they started to take sides.

“How do you know?” “Who?” They say simutainlusly. She looks at him weirdly for a second, thinking that that's not an appropriate question. Percy and Annabeth ramble about meeting Ares, he says something about Ares knowing who the lighting thief is and protecting him.

“ His favorite daughter. Clarisse is the lighting thief.” Luke finishes Percy's thought.

“Nonsense, Clarisse would not do that.” The girl defends her. She may not like the girl very much, but her being the lightning thief is ridiculous. Luke just gives her a pointed look and promises to tell Chiron. Percy turns to say more, but the iris message ends. Luke looks at her softer than he expected.

“ I don't think we should tell Chiron anything.” He says and takes her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and they swayed from side to side. Nodding in agreement.

“ If we go by their deductions, it could be anyone. I mean think about it. You would not be in the clear either. Who else than Hermes's son, the god of thieves, to steal the lighting bold.” She was just saying her thoughts out loud. However, Luke's hug tightens. He narrows his eyes and she can see the anger that shows up whenever someone mentions his father.

“ I did not mean it li th-”

“ Or you, who better than a daughter of Hades, someone who hates both Poseidon and Zeus.” Luke cuts her off. His eyebrow rose, wanting to see her reaction. She sighs and wraps her hands around his neck. Her comment was not meant to hurt him, but she knows she went overboard and decided to stay silent. Her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging a bit. His eyes close for a minute. She went to play with the camp necklace hanging on his neck. When he opened his eyes again, the hatred was gone.

“Come on, I'm sure someone needs medical assistance.” He says and makes his way out of the office.

“The Apollo kids can do that.” She says but follows him nonetheless. A laugh escapes him. They stop at the outside porch. He turns to her with soft eyes, some would say lovesick one.

“Ya know, there is one thing I did steal,” he says. She just gives him a confused look. “ Your heart.”

A smile spreads on his lips as she groans. He turns around and walks down the little porch. She stops him when he gets to the bottom.

“Luke.” He turns to her with a hum.

“Whose side are you on?” She asks him, looking down at him from the top of the stairs. He was hesitant to answer, so she continued.

“ Percy or Zeus?” He just smiles, takes her hand, and helps her down.

“ I don't side with gods.” He says.

—

Before Luke could strike Percy something blocked his sword. When he looks up he sees her. Before he can react, however, a dagger is thrown his way and he dodges it. Looking that way he sees Annabeth take off her cap. This is not how it was supposed to go.

“Annabeth…” He breathes out. They were not supposed to be here. He was supposed to recruit Percy. He was gonna recruit them later.

The girl helped Percy up but kept him behind her scythe. Standing in the way of any danger that could come his way. When Luke turns to her, she points her scythe at him.

“Come on, sweetheart…” he tries, but by the look on her face, he can tell it is not gonna do anything.

“ You need to leave,” She says, her face hard as stone. Luke could not read a single emotion from her. He tries to take a step to her but she swings her scythe at him. He blocks it with ease. He knows she does not want to fight. He knows that the swing was a warning, to keep him away. He knew she would never fight him.

So when he swings it does not come to his surprise she only defends herself. Never playing offense. To others, it may look like they were just dancing, old partners getting together for a spar. It was when Luke felt the wind from the portal he realized she moved him away from his original position. He knew that Annabeth and Percy would tell Chiron right away. She was allowing him to escape.

She stood in front of him. Scythe in a tight grip. Her eyes reminded him of a momma bear defending her cubs. With tears in his eyes, he turns around and leaps into the portal. In his mind, he promises to go back for all of them.

#luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x fem!reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson x fem!reader #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson fic #percy jackson x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan #percy jackson #percy pjo #percy series #luke castellan angst #luke castellan au

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seekingflowers · 2 months

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Future Husband Pick a Card (1-3)

I'm sure you all know how it works! Just relax and let your intuition guide you to choose your pile 🌕. Take what resonates and leave the rest. I am very honest and will not sugar coat what I see. Please don't hesitate to tell me what resonated with you! I welcome all to interact 🤝

Hello everyone! Welcome to my tarot blog. This is my first post ever, and a pick a card reading (1, 2, 3- cards) 🥰😍🥀

Pile 1:

Page of Wands

- First and foremost, it COULD indicate he's younger- if not, he may seem younger with his demeanor. More than likely, he may have approached you first. He'll be the first you one hear when you walk into a room.

In the beginning stages, this person will feel like a breath of fresh air. They are lively and outgoing. Always inviting you to join them on outings with friends or see and experience new places.

They are very social and ready to be on the go-go go. If you're not, it doesn't matter. They'll go because they're ready. Decisive and quick. However, it may not always be thought out. This person tends to be optimistic and may seem naive, but do not berate them. Sharp and witty, they stand their ground. They do not like to be held back and smothered. They seek fun and spontaneity, keep them on their toes. At times, you may feel like this man flakes out on you because he is so quick to do other things or entertain himself with others. He may forget things easily, such as planned dates or activities, anniversaries, or make sudden changes.

Their curiosity and openess will show you how to appreciate the moment and accept changes. It's okay to experience new things. If something is wrong, they will confront you, and they will expect the same from you. Be open and honest, and communicate with patience. They're not afraid to voice their opinion and say it how they see it. Friends and family love and adore their presence, which brings warmth and laughs all around.

Please remember, we all change with time, and some things may remain, but nothing lasts forever. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Pile 2:

King of Wands Reversed.

- He's definitely the one to approach you. Could be someone older or someone in an authority position.

This man may appear aggressive, often displaying signs of frustration or impatience. Can be very controlling and dominant overall. He has natural charisma and a fiery intellect, making it difficult to get a word in with him. Stubborn and hot-headed, he will likely dislike opposing views or opinions. People's views of him are black and white. Few understand him. There could be a problem with respecting those above him or taking consideration from others in general. There are few to maybe none that he cares for, but if he does care, he is fiercely protective over them and will come to their side to defend them. Even blindly.

About action, he's the one to get it done and have a go get it now attitude. Either do it or don't. Prone to impulsiveness and hypocrisy, his actions may bring upon consequences he isn't ready to handle and will break down in a tantrum.

Not afraid to approach others, he is relentless with his pursuits. On the good days, his humor and smiles are a sight to see and hear. Captivating and charming, people are drawn to him or are intimidated by him. His humor isn't everyone's cup of tea. It may be crude.

Highly competitive, spats between him and others are frequent. He hates losing and hates being wrong.

To be with this man, thick skin is needed along with groundedness. With you, he can be very loving, but ill tempered and stubborn.

He's very likely a traditional man who wants a traditional wife and family with him as head of the household. Although earlier in life, he may have had a desire of the opposite for the short term.

Please note that the future is not set in stone. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Pile 3:

Ace of Cups

- This man off the bat is an emotionally intuitive man. More likely to be reserved with his words, but expressive with his love and affections. Expressive eyes with intent prying into your soul. He enjoys private moments with you and goes out of his way to get you alone. It may seem unintentional, but it's not. It may be a love at first sight, or rather, when they fall in love- they fall hard.

There could be this feeling of a deep connection between the two of you that feels familiar yet so foreign. However, do not drown with the feeling. Learn to swim with it, or it will create false imaginations of the other person. You open up this person's inner world, and they want to pour into your cup endlessly. Sometimes, feelings can become intense, and a struggle to sort through emotions with each other can be difficult. Therefore, there can be spurts of emotional outbursts. Clear communication is very important with this man.

Being one to love deeply, he can hold a grudge and keep score of what wrong he thinks you've done to him. He might think he loves you more than you love him. This man wants you to be open with your love and reciprocate his feelings with the same intensity. When you are in an emotional frenzy from work or a bad day, he's the one to comfort and feel you. He'd go out of his way to make you feel better. If he can't, he will beat himself up for it. People close to him are few, even if it seems like there is a whole crowd around him. He's the go-to therapist or listener for folks, and it may get to him from time to time, so please allow him some space when needed.

Some days, he may seem hot and cold, but that's just likely because he isn't feeling anything that particular day or hour. Or he is in his head thinking about anything. As all humans do.

Love each other truly and not just love itself. It is easy to get lost in love and forget the person. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Please remember, take what resonates, and leave the rest. One card does not describe everything about a person, and it is not the end all be all. Nothing is set in stone. People change - we all change.

Once again, please let me know what resonates and tell me what'd you like to see from me. 💫

#psychic #tarot cards #tarotblr #pac reading #love tarot reading #tarot reading #divination #tarot blog #seekingflowers #tarotcommunity #tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #love reading #future husband

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crystalflygeo · 7 months

Text

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader

cw/tags: This chapter has no smut but still contains highly suggestive themes and sexual implications. Mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. fem!reader suffers with self-worth and bad memories, including past insults and abuse.

notes: After so long finally part 2!! EEEEEEEE I am so excited but also so nervous pls ;w; like if you want the first part can be read as a standalone and have a "happy ending" but now I am committed to the emotional roller coaster, A/B/O dynamics and LONG BURN PINING so yep >:3c hope this does justice to everyone's expectation tho. And hope you like it and accompany me on this tale hehe

As a lil sidenote brackets [] now indicate past actions/words and bad memories, regular italics for emphasis, inner thoughts or the little pinyin I sprinkled here (which btw is taken straight from genshin wiki so...).

<- Part 1 Part 3 ->

Being precious all of the sudden was… different.

Your hand subconsciously kept touching your bonding mark, as if to make sure it was still there, to soothe you.

After a quick meal just between Zhongli and you, consisting of some soft rice buns and delicious minced meat packaged inside a crispy pastry shell, you were then offered some new clothes. It was much more elaborate and certainly more layered than anything you’d worn before: a long skirt and flowy sleeves in a silky soft fabric, beautifully embroidered and hastily modified to make a hole for your tail to slip out. A sash keeping everything in place while accentuating your figure. You immediately loved it although it felt a little heavy and restricting.

Now, you quietly follow Zhongli as he leads you around the palace. He’s back to his former fully-human appearance, wearing an elegant attire, and everywhere you go, people bow at him and cast curious silent glances at you. It was rather unnerving.

It’s fine, you are used to being stared at, judged. You hold your tail up close for comfort.

The place is huge and you quickly get lost trying to map it out in your head, simply following along until you reach a large room with a few simple beds scattered around. Bookcases and cabinets stacked the walls, filled with all sorts of books, papers, jars and things. A pungent smell present in the air.

A green-haired man leans over a desk, glasses perched on his nose as he frantically scribbles some notes. What seems like powders and plants litter the space around him, along with a few more glass containers, incense, and a tea set with a steaming fresh cup.

“Baizhu.” Zhongli’s voice calls and you stiffen a little, hearing it again after a while of silence. It is still warm and deep but with a more reserved and regal tone like when he first met you.

The green-haired man (a Beta, you recognize) looks up and blinks in surprise, then smiles brightly and says some words you do not understand, you shuffle in place.

“Yes, this is her.” Zhongli replies. “I will ask you to speak in in common tongue so she can understand as well, I don’t want to unnecessarily unnerve her.”

Well, that is… very considerate. It eases you a little.

“Of course, your majesty.” He turns to you, his eyes were a bright amber, also with slitted pupils. Was it common in liyuens? “My name is Baizhu, the royal doctor and apothecary, pleased to meet you, empress.”

Empress?!

“E-Empress?!” You can’t help but blurt out.

“Why of courssse.” A high-pitched voice hisses and you almost jump when a white snake peaks her head from her coils at the desk, staring up at you. “You’re mated to hisss majesssty the emperor, sssso, it would be underssstood you’re now the empresssss.” Her split tongue flickers.

Baizhu chuckles. “Changsheng, be nice.”

You don’t know what to answer, mostly because you’re still reeling from the fact that you’re apparently now an empress, and because there’s a talking snake.

Liyue is weird…

“I decided to bring her here exactly because of that.” Zhongli turns to you and suddenly holds one of your hands, softly, staring at you with such affection it makes you melt. “Darling, would you let him check your bonding mark for a moment?”

You’re a little nervous, but it is not like you can refuse… right? You nod quietly.

Baizhu approaches and examines your neck and you fight the urge not to flinch or growl. No Omega likes it when a stranger is so close to such a sensitive spot. He hums and tilts his head but doesn’t touch you. “It seems it’s already healed due to her illuminated beast blood but the scar is present. I’d say the bond has been properly established, congratulations your majesty.” He smiles warmly.

A grateful bubbly feeling creeps up your chest. Properly established. So, it’s true.

You feel Zhongli’s hand squeeze yours lightly and look down at it, then back up at him. “Thank you, Baizhu. I will not keep you any longer. We still have a lot to do and I’m sure you do as well.”

Baizhu bows at him (at both of you, you realize) and then you’re on your way. Not before hearing the snake’s hissy whispers again

“A fine yin, hm…?”

--------------------------------------------

This is… your new home.

Zhongli shows you around some of the areas in what he called the “inner court” of the palace complex. Everything is so… large and open and lavish it has your head spinning, your eyes darting in every direction trying to take in all at once, walking fast on your new clothes. He guides you along the dining hall, a small temple, crosses through an enormous main hall where he explains audiences are held, and then a gorgeous outer garden that completely takes your breath away.

The wooden gilded architecture in golds and reds, the fresh wind and gentle sun. All sorts of new sounds and smells. The painted walls and high ceilings. The new plants and flowers. The chatters in a different language… everything is so distinct from the desert.

You soak in the new environment. Inhaling deeply.

It is both terrifying and exhilarating.

Finally, he guides you to another room, it looks similar to the nest room where you’d first been at, but larger. It is sparsely decorated with a large and comfy looking-bed, a desk, mirror and a small table with a couple chairs and a tea set. It smells nice enough.

You peek up at Zhongli.

“This will be your room.” He explains.

…What?

“We kept it simple for now but you are, of course, free to furnish and decorate it however you’d like. It’s close to my own room and anything you might need.”

Wait what?

Your ears lower down and you seem to deflate a little, disappointed. “H-Huh? But… I-I won’t be sleeping with you?” You ask softly.

Mated pairs sleep together, don’t they? They share living chambers and mix their scents together to symbolize their union. That’s what you’ve always been told. You are to always be near your Alpha, at his beck and call, warm up his bed and be ready to please.

Maybe things are different in Liyue? Or maybe it’s because he’s an emperor. Master didn’t tell you anything, so maybe you are just making a fool of yourself right now on your-

Zhongli clears his throat and looks at you a little surprised “I simply thought you’d be more comfortable having your own space, we… don’t really know each other very well yet, and I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Impose? As in order? But he’s your Alpha! “B-But I want to! Please! I-I mean… I thought that since we’re b-bonded…” You mumble shyly.

His cheeks turn a little pink, you like when that happens, he looks a lot less serious. He cups your cheek and you inhale looking up at those gorgeous golden eyes. “My dear dragoness. I don’t want you to feel forced to do anything you don’t want to. I know you were raised… differently, I cannot claim to understand your experiences, but listen to me: you are safe here.” He says the last part slowly, enunciating each word. “No one will scold you or punish you, least of all me. I want you to be free to speak and choose what you want.” He sighs. “Though I know it’ll be difficult...”

Furnish, impose, free… you don’t know any of those words.

But no punishment, to choose what you want, to be safe… it sounds surreal even.

What do you want?

His eyes soften at your nervous silence. “Let’s try this… do you really want to share my room, or would you like to stay here? I won’t be upset if you do.”

“I…” Your tail curls around you. “I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.” You mumble.

“Then it would be my honor, however, this room will stay ready if you change your mind, alright?” You glance around at the room again, and nod. “Now that that is settled, I have one last thing to do. I need to introduce you to a few very special people before I leave to-”

“Leave?!”

You didn’t mean to yelp like that.

“J-just to do my duties, I am not leaving you, I promise.” He corrects, a little taken aback. “I am sorry my dear, but as much as I’d like to spend every moment by your side right now, I have a few pressing matters to tend to. I know you’re nervous, everything is new and scary and overwhelming but I promise I’ll leave you in good hands and be back as soon as I can.”

You nod, now feeling a little embarrassed at the whole ordeal. You’d been feeling so at ease with his presence, showing you around, listening to his voice name and explain everything you saw that you’d almost forgotten. “You’re the emperor, I’m sure you’re very busy. No need to worry about me, I’ll behave, my lord.”

He frowns a little at that but says nothing, and you choose to say nothing else either.

Going back to the main hall, you immediately spot three people lined up looking at you with a mix of the already expected curiosity and excitement. One of them in particular immediately catches your attention, he’s an Alpha and you can’t help but feel a little nervous…

“Allow me to introduce you, these three are my most loyal and closest council members: Ping, Ganyu and Xiao.” Zhongli gestures at them and all three bow lightly. “Like you and I they all have the blood of xiānshòu, and you can ask them for anything should you need help or have questions. I hope you learn to trust them and feel at ease.”

You nod quietly, still a bit fixated on the other Alpha.

“Xiao, or general Alatus, is one of Liyue’s strongest, most resilient and skilled warriors. He usually keeps guard at the palace to ensure my wellbeing and now yours as well, if you ever feel danger call out his name and he’ll come.”

Ah, did they notice you were staring…?

With a gesture of his hand Xiao manifests a gorgeous Jade spear, crystalline green shards reflecting light as he taps it by his side, standing firm, you flinch in surprise. “My spear shall now serve you too, empress.” His eyes too are golden and sharp, filled with a certain rigidness and determination you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Thank you, Xiao, dismissed.”

Xiao hums quietly and promptly disappears in a burst of black and green smoke, you stand there a little startled, your hand clings to the brown fabric of Zhongli’s sleeve.

“He might be an Alpha as well, but I promise you he’ll cause you no harm.” Your alpha murmurs softly towards you.

“O-okay…” You squeak, a bit embarrassed.

“Ganyu here is one of the most reliable people in the palace, perhaps the entirety of Liyue. Everything of importance reaches her ears and passes through her eyes. She’s able to organize meetings, events, report, compile information and assist every negotiation and decision of this palace with stunning efficiency. She too will help you with anything you need and might be in charge of a little logistics regarding you settling in for the next few days.” Zhongli smiles.

The young woman with long blue hair and… horns? chuckles and blushes a little. “Your majesty, you're too kind, I merely love doing my job.” She puts her hands together and beams at you, sunset eyes bright. “I’m so honored to meet you, rest assured I’ll take care of anything you need. I hope you feel comfortable and welcome at the palace!”

That sounded like a lot. You weren’t used to people coddling you like this. You didn’t want to give anyone trouble or work. “T-that’s alright, thank you.”

“Now, Ping is probably going to spend the most time with you, she’s very knowledgeable in culture, history and the inner workings of the palace amongst other things. She has graciously offered to teach you liyuen and anything else you’d be interested in.”

Unlike the other two Ping has a certain calm aura to her, contrasting Xiao’s seriousness and Ganyu’s excited energy. You can tell she’s a gentle old soul as she approaches you with a soft wrinkled smile and graying hair.

“Don’t worry young empress, while Lord Morax here is regrettably busy with a work-packed schedule,” She gives him a playful side stare “You and I will have some fun. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” She takes your hand and pats it comfortingly. It’s kind of an awkward gesture for you, but you still welcome the warmth and good intentions.

Zhongli chuckles quietly. “In that case, I’ll leave you in her care and see you at night for dinner, alright?” He seems to hesitate for a moment but then cups your face in his hands and places a soft kiss at your forehead. The unexpected gesture has you blushing scarlet and your heart speeding up like crazy. His thumb brushes at the scales under your eyes, so affectionate in the smallest ways… “I know it’s not ideal, but it’ll be fine, yes?”

You stare at his golden eyes, the red lines, his handsome face framed with dark hair, his serene smile.

You don’t like this. You don’t want him to leave. The idea makes you uncomfortable.

But it’s not like you can say no.

You nod.

“Thank you, Ping.” Both of them exchange a glance and then he turns to the blue-haired woman still in the room. “Ganyu, if you will.”

“Right away your majesty!” She scurries after him, talking quickly in foreign tongue while both walk away.

You stare after him for a moment longer.

“It’s a little difficult, isn’t it?”

You quickly turn back to Ping and then look down, ears folding back.

She laughs softly. “No need to be ashamed dear, it is understandable that you are unsure with all this, it’s a lot of changes for such a short time and you bond is still fresh, but let’s take it easy.”

Your hand brushes at Zhongli’s bonding mark again. “O-Okay…”

“Are you hungry? Tired? Perhaps you want to rest a little?”

You want to scurry away to your mate’s room and curl up there, that’s what you want, but…

“Um, aren’t you… going to train me?”

Ping blinks a little taken aback “Train? Oh! Teach?”

Same thing.

“Well, yes. I did offer, but only if you’re feeling up to it young empress. You can take your time, we don’t have to start right away. And like I said, take it easy, it's only your second day here.” She explains. “You won’t be absorbing any information if you are uncomfortable and jittery like this.”

“S-sorry-”

“No need to apologize at all. Now tell me, is there anything you’ve seen or heard today that you’re curious about, anything you want to do?”

What you want…

You think back a few hours earlier. The infirmary, the small temple, the grand hall, and…

“The garden.” You speak. “Can we go outside and see?”

Ping smiles brightly. “Of course! I’m sure there are a lot of things there that will catch your interest and cheer you up.”

Your tail sways a little after you as you follow the old lady along the corridors.

------------------------

The garden is breathtaking.

More than a garden it feels like a whole different world. Bright and exciting and colorful, full of life. It reminds you of an Oasis, but just… more!

A grand pond with multicolored fishes and a couple of turtles sunbathing. Walk paths made of stone, plants everywhere you see: in trees with vibrant yellows, oranges and all shades of greens, in flowers with soft colors and small petals, in thick bushes. The light filters through the leaves and there’s the soft tweets of small birds.

“It’s… so pretty!” You exclaim happily.

“I’m glad you think so. Gardens like this are carefully cared for and preserved to impress, but they also represent beauty, abundance a sense of harmony.” Ping explains as she is now the one following after you, skipping along the path. “These trees you see are sandbearers, and that one is a ginkgo tree, you can tell the difference by the shapes of their leaves.” She points at each one and you follow with your gaze, picking a small leaf from the floor, golden and fan-shaped.

“Ooh…”

“See those smaller fishes? They’re goldfishes. The bigger ones are kois.” She gestures at the animals freely swimming around. Some of them are huge!

“What do they eat?” You blurt out.

“Well, usually algae and wheat. We can get some another day and you can feed them.”

“Really?!”

“Of course.”

“Oh! Is that a koi too? It’s so… long and pretty.”

“Ah, that one is a golden koi. Lord Morax has a few of them here. They are also called Jīnchì Jiǎlóng or ‘false dragons’ you know? For the small horns and long bodies. They do resemble your tail a little, don’t they?”

You move your tail forward and stare at it, then stare at the serpentine fish.

“Yes, sort of… Jin chi… jia long.” You mumble.

“Here, I think you’ll like these ones. Come with me.” You eagerly follow after Ping as she rounds the pond and guides you towards a few red bushes. They’re dotted with pink round flowers. “These are silk flowers, Nícháng-huā, usually harvested to make clothes, but there are many special ornamental variants and between us both, your dear mate has a weak spot for these so he has quite the collection.” She chuckles.

“Orna…metal?”

“Ornamental, it means mostly for decoration.”

“Oh!” Suddenly you feel dumb, you’d thought for a second that was a liyuen word too. “I’m sorry… I don’t even know common tongue very well.” How could you even expect to learn liyuen?

“No worries, dear, learning a new language is a daunting task, it takes a bit of work every day. If you keep learning, using and practicing words, you’ll get there.”

You smiled softly. Ping was so… patient and supportive.

So much different from…

[You have to try harder.]

[Tch that is not good enough.]

[Are you stupid?!]

[Useless omega.]

You looked at the budding silk flowers and blinked. Once. Twice. Why was your vision blurry now? What was this feeling?

“Oh, oh young empress please don’t cry. It’s alright” Ping’s alarmed remark helps you understand. She fusses over you. “Are you ok?”

You wipe at your tears and smile, a genuine bright smile.

“I’m fine.”

And this time, you truly mean it.

----------------------------------------

After a rather fancy bath (the kind of like you used to take before being presented to Alphas, with bubbles and scented oils...) and a good dinner Zhongli and you headed over for his chambers for the night. You couldn’t help but be a little… nervous.

This is stupid. He’s your Alpha.

He’s been nothing but kind to you.

What if he wants to… d-do things?

Then you’ll do it. He’s your mate. It’s your obligation.

You were the one who chose this anyway.

Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, anxiety creeping up your chest. Were your fingers trembling? Was the room suddenly cold?

As expected, the bedroom was quite matching his style. Golds, browns and a bit of red and black here and there. Dragon imagery adorning some of the walls, a tea cabinet with a small table and shelves filled with all sorts of trinkets from precious stones and books to a beautiful fan and a tea set.

And then there was the bed.

A large canopy bed, enough to probably have your body and tail fully stretched across and still fit in the mattress, beautifully decorated and filled with fabrics and pillows.

The scent of Zhongli’s Alpha pheromones was definitely strong.

He yawns and runs a hand along his forehead, combing along his hair before pulling out the clip on it, letting his long dark locks spill free. He takes off his robe revealing his naked torso and you jolt.

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.

You undress as well into your light sleeping clothes and gingerly slip into his bed, curling up around his pillows, surrounded by his scent.

His.

You are his.

It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine-

“Darling, is everything alright? Are you uncomfortable?” He asks concerned, climbing on the bed as well and reaching out to touch your arm. You squeak. “You’re… terrified, what’s wrong?” Then Zhongli’s eyes widen a little. “Oh. The scent… I completely overlooked that, my apologies. Is it too strong? Are you ok? Should have given you some things earlier for you to scent and include them here. This is no good…” He rambles a bit to himself as he sits up and crosses his arms thoughtfully.

You stare at him, anxiety still surging through your veins but now mixed in with confusion.

“Would you like to sleep in the other room we prepared for you instead?” He sighs.

“I… t-this is… you… would just let me leave?”

Zhongli tilts his head slightly, now he looks confused.

“I promised you that the room would be available-”

“So, you don’t want to mate?”

Silence.

He stares at you for a moment as you grip at the bedsheets, still tense.

His eyes widen as realization settles in.

Ah. The pink dusting in his cheeks is back.

“Y-You thought that… no! My dear, no, no, no…” He coughs into his fist awkwardly. “I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea. A-As I said before I want you to be comfortable and feel safe. No Alpha will force you to do anything you don’t want. Not even me. And you don’t have to feel forced to do things you don’t want to, either.”

You look down. Although you feel slightly more relieved.

“I want to stay here. A-and if you want to, I’ll service you, my lord. I was just… nervous, sorry.”

“I assure you there is no need for any of that.” He says softly. “Here.”

He pulls the covers and slips them over you both, lying down facing you but still keeping a little distance. You do the same, curled up face to face with him.

He’s so effortlessly handsome.

And kind.

And you like him.

But he’s still an Alpha.

“Is this alright? We’re just going to sleep, I promise.” He brushes some hair away from your face.

You nod.

“Is there… anything you want to talk about or ask me?”

You... don’t know.

You shake your head.

“Hmmm. Want to share about your day? What were you up to with Ping?” He gives you a playful smile. Suddenly he feels less like an imposing strict emperor, or like a scary Alpha. He’s just your Zhongli.

“She… showed me the garden. I wanted to see.”

“Ah, the royal garden has many fascinating sights and it’s a beautiful landscape to retreat to and ease one’s mind. I had the feeling you’d be interested.”

“There were so many beautiful things. She taught me about the silk flowers, nícháng-huā. And all the trees and fishes and birds.”

“Oh? Are these your first words in liyuen, my dear?”

You giggle. “I… suppose they are. She also showed me your turtles Jiàn and Fù and told me what their names mean, they are so cute. Oh! And we saw the liúlí bah… bai… bǎihé! I sang to them and they bloomed! It was... amazing.”

“I see. Not everyone can achieve that, I’ll admit I’m quite hopeless at singing.” He chuckles “What more did you learn?”

Feeling much more content and at ease you continue retelling all the new things you had experienced and the vocabulary you had learned including how to introduce yourself and some greetings and basic words. Talking for what felt like hours until weariness and sleep claimed you both.

Zhongli simply listened and stared at you, captivated. He seemed content as well.

It made you happy.

------------------------------------------

For the next couple of months, you established a sort of routine.

You’d wake up early alongside Zhongli, even though you didn’t need to, you simply enjoyed having some morning tea and breakfast with him. Afterwards he’d go tend to some of his official duties and you’d stay with Ping Lǎolao, learning more and more each day. By now you could even follow some basic conversation (provided the other person didn’t speak too fast) although reading and writing was still extremely difficult.

You’d expressed interest in some gardening and even headed to the kitchens to prepare some food by yourself. The maids claimed there was no need for the empress to do such ‘menial tasks’ but as an Omega you pride yourself in certain things, and cooking for your Alpha was something you’d yearned to do.

You were overjoyed when Zhongli praised your Jade parcels.

You’d always have lunch with him and some days he’d accompany you for a stroll or you’d stay at his study for some leisure time, or even at some meetings. It had been a little unnerving at first but you also knew it was important to know others and be known in the council, as well as understand Liyue outside of the palace walls. After all, you are an empress now.

At night, you slept close to him. The initial awkwardness of sleeping at opposite sides of the bed soon traded for a much cuddlier approach, often with you curled up to Zhongli’s chest or him spooning you, tails often intertwined together. The bed and the entire room now have a mix of your combined scents, like true mates.

And so, life was good…

------------------------------------------

You’re slowly pulled out of your sleep as Zhongli stirs in the bed. You grumble a little and yawn, already missing his warmth. It was so pleasant…

“Good morning, my dear dragoness.”

“Morning…” You mumble, not opening your eyes and instead blindly reaching for his pillow to hug and cling to. “Can we stay for longer?” You whine.

“You definitely can, but I have to go.” He kisses your forehead “Rest, my dear.”

You pout but say nothing. Squeezing at the pillow and burying your face in it.

It smells so good…

------------------------------------------

“Hmm… is it warmer today?” You wonder aloud as the maids help you up with the layers of your hanfu. The clothes still hot and heavy in contrast to what you used to wear at the desert, but today seemingly more so… the sash feels more constricting than usual. “I-I think I’d like to wear something a little lighter… if possible.”

“Of course, your majesty, no problem.”

You smile at them, grateful.

--------------------------------------------

Sitting at Zhongli’s study room you practice some basic liyuen calligraphy while he seemingly goes over some important documents. The silence is comfortable and a warm cup of Qixing tea steams at both desks. Yet, something keeps bothering you.

You huff lightly, scratching and picking at the scales of your tail, irritated with the uncomfortable feeling. Why is it so itchy? A couple of them fall off, revealing new glossy ones underneath.

“Ah…” So that means…

You stop for a moment. The feverish feeling, scents being stronger on your nose, the urge to nest and cling to your mate.

Hmm… part of you is a little excited. And yet, there is fear.

------------------------------------------

“You have quite the appetite today, dear. Eat slowly, the food won’t go anywhere.” Ping chuckles as you practically pick a little of every dish while still trying to keep some modicum of elegance. Chopsticks weren’t that easy after all.

“Yes… I think… I think it’s my pre-heat hormones.” You sigh before munching on a shrimp ball.

Your heat…

Your first heat with Zhongli. With any Alpha to be honest. You’d always had to endure them on your own (Master couldn’t have you get pregnant) and they were excruciating and debilitating, crying out for days with your skin burning and itching, trying to sate yourself with your fingers and humping pillows. But now… you’re happily bonded.

Would it… feel good again?

Like, that first time you two mated…

You feel your cheeks heat up.

“Excuse me?”

“Hm?”

You’re brought back to reality to see Ping staring at you seemingly a little alarmed.

“Pre-heat? Young empress, are you going into heat soon?”

“Y-yeah? Probably um, tonight…? Or tomorrow.” The onsets are always so quick, and your cycle has always been more or less stable.

The elder places her chopsticks down. “Have you told Lord Morax?”

“Um. N-No, not yet. But… m-maybe he already caught on...” You tilt your head.

…Right?

Then again even you took a couple of days to identify the signs, and now for sure you were at the brink of it. Maybe he’ll mate you tonight…

Hm… how will Zhongli react to your heat scent?

You have to do your best!

[Be a good omega.]

Ping stands up, her expression still gentle but with a sort of urgency to it, your instincts catch the feeling she’s worried about something.

“I have to inform about this, please stay here dear.”

Now you’re nervous. You nod slowly.

Why does it feel like you did something wrong…?

------------------------------------------

After that, things get… chaotic.

It’s only a while later that you find yourself at the infirmary. Ganyu and Zhongli are also there and everyone’s anxious pheromones in the air do not sit well with you (subtle as they are, your nose is hyperaware right now).

“I’m sorry the symptoms are already settled in. At this point it is simply not feasible to give her suppressants, she has to go through this heat.” Baizhu says, looking troubled.

Feasible? Suppressants? More unknown words but…

Is there something wrong with your heat?

Ganyu scurries off and Ping starts talking with Baizhu on the other side of the room. You cling to Zhongli’s robe, trying to soothe yourself with his presence but his scent is… agitated.

You whine to call out to him. You’re scared.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Zhongli pulls you close, cupping your face again, staring straight at you. “No… no my dear dragoness, of course you didn’t, it’s just…” He steels himself searching for the right words, it doesn’t ease you in the slightest. “We didn’t expect your heat so soon. I should have known, noticed… I’m sorry.”

Why is your alpha apologizing to you? That is ridiculous.

“Is it a bad thing?”

“It’s… not the right time.”

You’re so confused.

Don’t Alphas like it when Omegas are in heat? Soft, pliant, warm, needy and ready to breed.

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do this…” He says. “And… you could trigger my rut, you could end up pregnant. I don’t want to… scare you, or hurt you. It’s much too soon for us to share your heat. I thought we’d have more time for you to get acclimated to Liyue or…” He shakes his head. “Nevermind. For the next few days you’ll be in a separate room, yes? No one will disturb you during your heat, I promise.”

“B-But then… I… what…?”

Alone?

“Usually omegas take suppressants, like a type of medicine, to stave off their heats so they don’t have to face these risks or suffer them alone, and then when they’re ready, when they want, they choose to share heats with their partners.” He explains.

“But I want to! I… I’ll be good!”

Zhongli sighs. “Darling you are good, you are precious to me. You don’t need to prove anything or do things because they are ‘expected’ of you.”

He’s not listening!

He asks you what you want. He says you can choose. But now that you tell him, ask him, beg him even… he denies you?

How come you’re always making the wrong choice?

Was it all a lie then?

“But I- T-then- Why-… YOU’RE CONFUSING ME!!” You yell, tears stinging in your eyes.

There are a few gasps and you see not only Baizhu and Ping, but Ganyu and some of the maids staring at you in shock. You cover your mouth, eyes wide at the sudden burst of fierceness and emotion.

You yelled at him.

You talked back.

You should be punished.

He stares at you, frozen like a statue for a few moments. You stare at him, pitiful, your eyes begging. A whimper leaves you and Zhongli lets out a shuddering breath.

Oh, your Alpha wants you, you know it.

"Please..." You mumble, voice so small.

"I'm sorry my dear, it's better this way." His hand moves towards you, to cup your face again or brush at your hair you're not sure, but he stops himself before you can find out. He sighs, averting his gaze and looking conflicted, and then turns around.

This is your punishment.

"It'll be just a few days, you'll be well-cared for. This is for the best." He says sternly, voice pinched.

And then he leaves.

Your heart shatters.

Everything is a blur after that. You’re gently guided along towards an empty nest room, the same one you'd first met him at, there are some things with both your scents on it but they feel sterile, washed anew.

Your hands start trembling. Your eyes start to water. Your lips quiver. Your throat feels tight, choked and dry. Your body feels feverish, hot and restless.

Zhongli rejected you.

“Your majesty please calm down."

[Useless.]

[Moron.]

[Whore.]

You could no longer breathe, hear nor see. You feel like you're drowning, unable to process what just happened. Your mate…your precious mate…he…he…

He abandoned you.

“Your majesty…?"

You scream.

960 notes · View notes

iamasaddie · 8 months

Text

if my life is mine, what shouldn't I do?

PIMP!Joel masterlist paring: Joel Miller x fem!afab!Reader rating: explicit word count: 5.2k summary: There’s tension between you and Joel, and you, are failing to understand why the man’s behavior changed. You are placed before a choice once again. warnings (for the chapter): angst; angry Joel; emotionally unavailable Joel; oral (f receiving); unprotected PinV (‼️); light praise kink; light dirty talk a/n: this honestly took a lot from me. thanks to @multiversed-daydreamer for being my beta for this chapter, ily bby <3

ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴏꜰ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴅɪᴄᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇ. ꜱᴛᴀʏ ꜱᴀꜰᴇ, ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ꜱᴇx ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ.

Morning was gloomy. It’s been bucketing down all night, and instead of finding the sound peaceful, you struggled to find sleep. The past three days the weather in the QZ became worse and worse, and you could say the same about Joel’s mood. You doubted it was because of the clouds, but as the wind tried to break flimsy-looking wooden window frames, Joel started breaking things around the house. Accidentally, or so he said.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, but you found yourself trying to be less and less in his presence. For some reason, unsure that you wouldn’t be another thing he accidentally breaks. His usually light-hearted demeanor and stupid quips turned into constantly furrowed brows and snarky remarks. You tried to find the reason for such a drastic change, but couldn’t. Maybe it was something outside. Something besides the rain. Deep down, you knew it wasn't just external factors causing Joel's sudden shift in behavior, you just couldn’t quite put it together.

You shivered under your blanket, trying to get warmer with your knees pressed tightly to your chest. It felt like the dampness seeped through the walls and gradually started soaking into your bones, making whatever clothes you had useless.

"Fuck," you muttered to yourself and started running cold palms up and down your legs, to bring some warmth to no avail. The rain was still assaulting the only window in the living room, and with dark clouds overtaking the skies it was almost impossible to see without turning the lights on. You knew it was morning, your biological clock was the only thing that worked properly in your body, but you could see fuck all. Still, unwilling to somehow wake Joel up, you decided to go to the kitchen, surrounded by almost darkness. You wrapped your blanket tighter around your body and paddled to the kitchen, dragging your socked feet on the wooden floors.

"Where did he put his fucking tea?" You discovered a weird habit of talking to yourself when you were alone now. Living with four people and working with even more before you moved here made you cherish every moment of silence you had, but now, when there were plenty, it felt weird to not hear someone talking all the time.

"It's in the cupboard above you."

You jumped out of surprise, not hearing Joel come up quietly from behind. His voice was groggy with sleep and already irritated.

"You scared the shit out of me," you exclaimed, your heart still pounding. Joel rolled his eyes.

"Didn't think I'd startle you considering I am in my house, and it shouldn't be a surprise for you that I get up in the morning to go to my kitchen to drink a cup of my coffee from my mug," Joel muttered, his annoyance evident in his voice.

You felt anger bubbling in your veins as you tried to put down the cup you were holding in your hands as lightly as you could manage so you didn’t break it. What the fuck was his problem? Surely he wasn’t angry you didn’t have any more lessons after you sucked him off, right? It‘s not like you were against it, he just never said anything and you felt weird to ask. But that didn’t give him the right to treat you like that.

"What the hell, Joel, did you get your period or something?"

"No, I didn't get my fucking period, but it looks like I will be bleeding soon since you're draining me this good." You stared at him not blinking, his jaw clenched and you could swear you heard his teeth grinding against each other. "You've been here for more than a fucking week, and I don't see any money coming in my pocket, you just keep eating, and wasting my hot water, and…-"

The blood pumping in your ears made it almost impossible to hear what he was saying, you saw his lips moving, baring his teeth, but it was like you had cotton in your ears. Your chest started rising and falling faster, your breathing rate accelerating. You felt your back muscles tense up and tried to shake your head before starting to talk over Joel.

"You were the one who told me I needed to learn first to…-"

It was his turn to interrupt you.

"I know what the fuck I said. Just didn’t think you’d take so fucking long." He turned on his heels, stomping out of the room and you were ready to scream, quivering with frustration, but he seemed to change his mind, turning back around and rushing towards you. His face hardened, the redness of it fading as he looked you in the eyes. "Today's the last lesson. I'm going out, get yourself ready, take a bath. I'm gonna show you basic positions, and you’ll start working Monday.''

"But…" His words felt like a final sentence, the judge's hammer hitting you right on the head, and all the words that you could say remained in the form of "o" on your lips. Before he left the apartment, he turned to you once more, taking in your sunken form.

"You can leave if you change your mind. If you're here when I'm back I will take it as you made the decision to stay." Your heart throbbed with uncertainty as his words reverberated in your mind.

You felt desperation mounting on with every step that you took towards the bathroom. Yes, he said you still had a choice, but in reality, there was only one option, and both of you knew that. When you stepped into the familiar space and turned on the shower, you didn’t feel the temperature of water running down your tight skin. Unfortunately for you, you quickly grew fond of the perfect little moments of enjoying Joel’s hot shower every day, prolonging your stay under the warm spray by three minutes every day, which apparently pissed Joel off. Today was different, however, and you wanted to get out as soon as possible.

Your mind was fogged as much as the small room you occupied, the only thing cutting through your dullness was fear of the quickly approaching uncertainty. You didn’t know where it came from, since you had been preparing yourself for what was about to come from the moment you said “yes” to Joel now more than a week ago. You just thought you’d have more time. Even if you didn’t know what you needed that time for. You still hadn’t seen the place where you were going to work. Joel said he’d show you around it soon, it looked like ‘soon’ meant Monday.

If only you knew what you did wrong. Was it something that you said that prompted him to turn his attitude 180? Or was it all a fucking act from the beginning, and now he was just showing his true colors?

You started replaying your moments together from day one. He was never overly polite or gentle, but he seemed honest, and you’d grown to respect that. You got used to him speaking his mind, be that less than kind comments about your cooking skills the only time you tried to make breakfast; or the amused snort when you suggested to suck him off on the second day of your period “to practice some more”. You remembered the overwhelming hot wave of embarrassment taking over you from the tips of your ears to the bottom of your feet when he barked a laugh and shook his head, saying that you were good. Was that the reason for the change in his behavior? Because that was the day it all began. Were you too eager? Too annoying? Did he think you faked your inexperience to get a warm place and a full belly for a lesser price?

Fuck.

You hated being in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. His honesty was a gulp of fresh air that made you slowly build some trust, even if it was one-sided, and now he became as confusing as the rest of them. Or, again, maybe he always was, you were just too fucking naïve to see.

Your soapy hands moved along your body on autopilot, and you only realized you washed your hair when the bubbly water started stinging your eyes. You hurried to face the water and tried to wash as much of it off as it was possible, rubbing your eyes until you saw colorful dots dancing behind your eyelids.

Still clueless about the reason for Joel to be mad, you made a decision to think of it as him showing his real face. There was nothing wrong with you, he was just an asshole. And tonight you were going to fuck that asshole. Or, rather, he was going to fuck you. You could only hope that he’d be fast, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you because you were his investment, but you didn’t know if he’d care enough to make you come. After all, he did tell you that your pleasure would never be on your future clients’ agenda.

You turned the water off, shaking as the coldness of the room started sinking into your skin, and put on his borrowed t-shirt and a pair of simple black cotton panties he brought you on the day you started your period. You figured there was no reason for you to put on pants, as what was ahead of you asked for even fewer clothes than you were currently wearing. Finding your usual spot on the couch, you threw a blanket over yourself, the room smelled musty and damp, and the rain kept beating staccato on the windows matching your heartbeat with its rapid taps. You felt tears biting the corners of your eyes and hurried to wipe them before they could stain your cheeks. You were going to be fine. You didn’t know why you were so sure, but it was like intuition inside you telling you that no matter what, you were going to get through it and you were going to be fine.

"You’re gonna grit your teeth, ride his cock, and then you’re gonna be fine." You whispered to yourself, clenching the soft material of your blanket in your fists. "You're gonna be fine, baby. You always are."

Exhaustion overtook your body quicker than you could realize, and your sleepless night ended up in you blacking out in the most uncomfortable position on the couch in the middle of the day. You opened your eyes when you felt a burning sensation on your face, and for a second you thought that was the sun shining through the window and warming your skin up. But it wasn't the sun, it was Joel. When you saw his brooding figure towering over you, your heart leaped into your throat. You felt it pounding there, cutting off your airflow. Joel’s brows furrowed, a deep crease forming between them, as he watched you choke on your own spit and start coughing. You wiped saliva from the corner of your mouth with the back of his hand, and when he was sure you were looking at him, he nodded his head toward his room. It was a pretty clear gesture, and you followed him silently, uneasy because he didn’t say a word.

His movements were slow, calculated. As you closed the creaking door, he was already taking his button-down off, revealing a washed-out, once-upon-a-time white undershirt. You froze. You had never seen him undressed. Even when you stood on your knees in front of him, he only took his jeans halfway down. At first, you thought he might have been insecure, after all, he’s not a young boy, and no one looked good in the New World anyway, it wasn’t a priority anymore. But seeing him freeing himself so easily now, apparently, you made a mistake in your judgment. You were brought back to reality with the clinking sound of him unbuckling his belt.

He seemed very comfortable with his nudity with how easily he untucked and took off his undershirt. It was the first time you saw his chest, and as you saw him, a quiet gasp left your lips. Something he chose to ignore, folding his shirt instead. It was… a lot to take in. His skin was golden, a bit lighter than his arms, and you could clearly see the t-shirt form of his tan, he was mostly hairless, except for the curly trail of salt and pepper hair going from his navel and hiding into his jeans. But what made your eyes widen was the amount of ugly scars across his skin. Some were new, some old, you could tell by the different shades of red or white. You could also see at least three badly healed bullet holes: one on his shoulder, and two closer to his lower stomach. His body was telling you a story of battles fought and wounds endured. A story of Joel’s survival, something you thought you’d never hear from the man himself.

"You… You fought a lot?" You couldn't stop the question from leaving your lips, and Joel winced when you vaguely pointed at his naked chest, not picking one scar but all of the ones you could see instead.

"Don't ask your clients that. Ever." He clenched his jaw, not meeting your eyes.

"No, I know, I wouldn't, I just thought you… Anyways, yeah. Sorry." You hated when you started babbling, but no matter how hard you tried to control it, you couldn't stop.

"Jesus." Joel sighed, shaking his head. He did that a lot. "Just take off your clothes and get on the bed, okay?"

You nodded, grabbing the end of the t-shirt that dwarfed you in your clammy fingers. As you struggled to peel it off, you felt a rush of vulnerability swirl within you. He had already seen you naked, so there was nothing new for either of you. More than that, he already had his fingers inside you deeper than yours ever were. And still, your palms are dampened with cold sweat.

"When the client tells you to undress, he expects that the process won’t take the whole fucking hour he’d paid for."

He hadn't been calling you a rabbit for a few days now, and you hated how much you missed the stupid nickname. As if with it, the warmth that used to make his house different was gone. You nodded, more to yourself than to him, and took off the t-shirt in one swift movement, leaving yourself bare in front of him save for the panties. Joel tsk’d. "When you’re at work, you don’t wear panties unless it’s required by the client. It’s usually not. And even then, you don’t wear something like that," Joel scolded, disappointment filling his voice.

"You brought me these." You felt smaller than a fucking ant, embarrassment and uncertainty hunching your back, trying to protect the grains of your dignity by crossing your arms over your tits. There was no familiar surge of desire that you had gotten used to feeling when Joel was near. It was psychological, you said to yourself before, your body associated him with pleasure, so you felt that buzzing heat in your lower belly whenever he was in your periphery. But it was gone now, nothing now was even close to that exciting feeling. Cold tied your bones, and you thought that you looked now more like a prey, rather than a sexy predator that you were supposed to be. You glanced at Joel, trying to decipher the subtle changes in his expression. You noticed his furrowed brow and the slight tension in his jawline.

"Just, lose the shit and get on the bed, okay?" You felt a wave of disappointment wash over you as Joel's words pierced through you. He was never rude before. A bit condescending to your immaturity at times, yes. But never this fucking… rude. You couldn't let his harsh words discourage you, so you simply nodded, putting on a harder shell as you dropped the items of your clothing on the floor where you stood, and awkwardly crawled on his bed. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as soft as the couch you’d been sleeping on, the mattress harder and more firm under your hands and knees. You plopped on your back, staring at Joel patiently. You tried your best to not let your vulnerability show, burying your trembling hands beneath you as if to hide the unease creeping up inside you.

Joel followed suit, discarding his jeans and boxers in one go, avoiding your eyes but looking all over your naked body. You noticed that he forgot to take off his socks, but didn’t mention it. He got on the bed, his body towering on top of you, and you felt that you started to suffocate with so much of him around you. His weight pressed down on your chest, making it even harder to catch your breath.

"Aren’t you going to.. um.. say something?" You tried to calm down your breathing, nowhere near aroused. Joel lifted his brows as he looked at you. There was something more inside the brown pools than just anger or annoyance.

"Men won’t pay you for a chat." He spat, his words a dull echo in your buzzing brain. He dropped next to you, not crowding your body with his anymore, instead giving you a different command. "Get on your hands and knees."

"What?"

"Get on your hands and knees, goddamnit, that’s the most popular position. Higher to the pillows."

You scrambled to do what he said, physical vulnerability was something you could deal with, you told yourself. Or it was something you had to learn how to deal with. The moment when he got behind you was awkward, you didn’t speak, you almost tried not to breathe. When you felt Joel’s massive hands engulfing your hips, you closed your eyes, waiting for something, anything. He spread your asscheeks, two of his thumbs holding you open and reflectively you tried to close your thighs together.

"Don’t." Was the only thing he said, as he continued squeezing your asscheeks. You understood that it was for something other than pleasure. The only thing you realized was that when arousal and want don’t clog your mind with intoxicating fog, sex is weird. You start to analyze your movements, how the position must look ridiculous, and why do people even bother sticking their genitals into each other? Your train of thought was interrupted when Joel slid his index finger down your slit, your folds sticking to his dry thumb, betraying your lack of arousal.

You heard Joel inhale, it wasn’t irritated or surprised (you didn’t notice how you learned the different ways he inhaled), it was just deep. You could almost see how his naked chest rose and fell.

"Are you afraid of me?"

His question caught you off guard and you had to think about it for a second. Were you? You were definitely intimidated by his power, his strength, but that had never stopped you from feeling that pinch of heat in your lower belly when he was near. And now you were just… confused? Sad? No, you were definitely not afraid of him. You shook your head.

"No, Joel. I am not afraid of you."

"Okay."

You heard the bed creak and you thought he was going to leave you, leave the room, get annoyed that you weren’t ready. But instead, you just felt the mattress shift, and then a wet persistent stripe being dragged from your clit to your entrance. You jumped, "Fuck!"

He was... was he giving you oral? What the fuck, why would he do that? Not expecting such a thing, you moved further up the bed, detaching his face, or rather his tongue, from your pussy.

"Where the fuck are you going?" His hands grabbed you by the thighs, practically dragging you back into him, and he circled his arms around you so you couldn’t get away.

His tongue was hot, and before he licked another stripe you felt him spitting right onto your core. Arousal that was nowhere to be found mere minutes ago showed its treacherous face, combining with a glob of Joel’s spit that dripped down your slit. "Do men pay to do that?" You stammered, knowing full well there was no way in hell men would pay to make a whore feel good. But why else would Joel do that to you now, then?

He hummed in your pussy and you felt goosebumps rushing from your ass and down your thighs, giving way to a new sensation. Joel unlatched his lips with a smack, "only the ones who have good taste."

"Oh, I just… I thought you’d just… fuck me."

"If I were to do that," the way he interrupted his sentences with wide stripes of his tongue, sliding the wet muscle from your now pulsing clit to dive into your welcoming entrance, drove you insane, "you’d not feel very good."

"You want me to feel good?" Something trembled, and this time not just in your stomach.

"I don’t want you to feel bad." He answered flatly, diving back in with such vigor that you fell further on your elbows and pressed your head into the pillow that smelled like the man between your thighs.

You had never felt anything like it, when he alternated fat swipes of his tongue to piercing kitten licks on your clit, you wailed shamelessly. He made you feel more than good, your pussy fully dripping and you just hoped he wouldn't suffocate when you pushed your hips harder into him, resulting in his nose catching on your entrance. You couldn’t think about anything but the buzzing need to get your pleasure, chasing it like a wild hungry dog chasing a rabbit in the forest. You could swear you heard Joel call you a good girl in between the ravenous licks and nips. He was lapping at your juices, vulgar slurping noises interrupted by your sighs and moans. You felt something trickle on the back of your thighs and you wondered if it was sweat, your arousal, his saliva, or everything mixed together. Somehow the excessive bodily fluids didn’t disgust you, on the contrary, they ignited the fire inside you. When you felt like you were about to snap, Joel chose that exact moment to feed three of his fingers into your pussy. The stretch was sudden, and the sting scared your orgasm away, but it wasn’t terrible. He sucked on your clit, spreading his fingers inside you at the same time, which felt like too much.

"Joel it’s, it’s too much." You whined, your voice muffled by the pillow you continued to bite with his every thrust.

"You’re okay, baby," he placed a kiss close to your entrance, licking your opening stretched around his fingers. "You gotta take it, so it feels better when I’m buried inside your pretty cunt. Okay?"

"O—fuck- kay. Okay." You took a deep inhale, the stretch bothering you less and less as his tongue continued abusing your twitching clit. Sometimes he would leave it to come back and lick all the expanse of your pussy up to your asshole. It’s like he wanted to clean you, instead of letting you create an even bigger mess.

When his fingers plunged into you with no resistance, when your gritted teeth relaxed, letting your moans out of your fucking soul, that’s when he stopped.

"Why’d you…?" You snapped your head back, looking at him with confusion. Oh, what a sight he was. His chest marred with scars and wounds was accessorized by pink and red blotches, covered in sweat and glistening. The veins on his neck were prominent, like he was screaming, or tense, and his face. Fucking God, that face. Drenched from nose down, some of your juice still stuck to his scruff and he wasn’t in a hurry to wipe it off. No, instead he licked his lips slowly, burying your taste within his mouth, as his raven black eyes stared back at you. If that was how an animal looked at its prey, you were ready to become his meal. Nothing existed for you at that moment. No situations, no statuses. It was just raw pleasure, and he was the one providing (and denying) you with it.

"I’m gonna fuck you now." As he said it, you looked lower where his hand, still slick with your wetness, tightened around his cock. It was ridiculous how it still looked massive in his enormous hands and your breath caught. If it was hard to fit his fingers, you couldn’t imagine shoving that thing up your pussy. How did you even manage to suck him off? He must’ve seen the hesitance on your face. "Don’t worry, baby, you can take much more than that."

You nodded, not quite believing his words as he came closer. Just the feeling of his tip at your entrance made you clench, and he squeezed your hip at first, the pain of his grip a satisfying distraction, and then he returned his fingers to your clit, holding his thick and throbbing shaft with three fingers of his left. "Relax, baby, it’s gonna be good, I promise," his murmur was gentler than you expected, gentler than before, and when he rolled your clit softly between his fingers, you felt him press a kiss to your shoulder blade. He’d never done that, he never kissed any part of you, and either out of surprise, or because you felt excitement drowning down your fear, you pushed your hips back, swallowing half of his tip. He took it as an open invitation, slowly pushing all of him inside you in one slow motion, making you regret your eagerness.

"Oh my god, oh my fucking fuck, what the fuck, oh no no no. Why are you so huge? How are you so huge? Are you part horse? What the fuck?" You couldn’t stop stupid words and questions from leaving your mouth as his length practically split you in two. You felt him with every tiny molecule of your body, it’s like his cock pierced you from your pussy and up into your throat, you could swear you felt his tip hitting your fucking glands. You heard him chuckle, but he stilled, only his fingers continued playing with your clit.

"It’s because you’re- fuck," he gritted through his teeth, resuming slow motions, "tight as fuck." It felt like it took you forever to get accustomed to his girth, his length, you thought you could count the veins on his cock just by feeling them with your pussy. "Relax, baby, come on. Make it good for yourself."

You wanted to snap at him, did he have any idea how much cock you had to take at that moment? But then he twisted his hips, punching a spot inside you that made you cry out, and not in pain. "Theeere we go," he almost sang. You didn’t say anything, couldn’t bring yourself to form any coherent sentences or even words as his speed increased. His fingers left your clit, instead finding their place on your hips. He almost treated you like a little rag doll, tugging you on his cock instead of pushing in himself. The heaviness of his balls bruised your sensitive pussy, and as you grew more and more used to the size of him, the sting of stretch bringing more pleasure than pain, your moans grew louder. His pace was relentless, your whimpers and his growls the only music accompanying the wet slaps of your body. The coarse hairs above his cock pillowed your ass, as he snapped his hips especially hard. You grew hungrier and hungrier with each time Joel’s tip bruised that spot that made you a dizzy whining mess. Now, you pushed yourself on him like you wanted to swallow even more of him, even though realistically you thought that if there was more of him you’d need to find a doctor. Your back arched with impending orgasm, you just needed a little bit more of… More of something.

"Play with your clit, come on, you know how to do that," his voice sounded pained like he was on the verge of breaking. You followed his order, shoving your fingers between your swollen folds and finding your throbbing clit. You needed five hard strokes in total to drop down. Or to lift up into the heavens. Maybe both, because your body shuddered and you fell on the bedsheets, the sudden loss of Joel’s cock almost painful, as your mind and soul traveled to cloud nine and higher. You could barely make out his hisses and the wet sounds of his hand working his cock to completion until his cum hit your body trembling in the post-orgasmic bliss.

"Never let them cum inside of you, by the way." He said matter of factly, as he dropped on the bed next to your spent body, his cum tainting your asscheeks.

The silence of the room was broken by your loud breathing. Your lungs felt too small for the amount of air you tried to inhale. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to say after everything, but the silence was more than uncomfortable. You felt your skin start to itch with every passing second, and you doubted it had anything to do with a sheen of sweat and his cum slowly drying up.

"I know what you did." Joel’s voice was surprisingly even, no heavy breaths or husky rasps. You snapped your head to look at his face, he was staring at the ceiling. Your body was inches away, nothing but your bent knee touching his thigh connected you.

"Wh.." You weren’t given a chance to ask the question, Joel’s eyes meeting yours, fire dancing in the brown irises, but not the one that was there an hour ago.

"Don’t you even dare," he hissed, and you wanted to hide your head in your chest like a turtle. "You pull that shit again," he pointed his thick index finger at the wardrobe, and you felt like someone splashed you with a bucket full of ice. He knew. "Or anything close to it, and you're out of here. Not even out of the apartment, out of the picture, back on the fucking streets hungering to death, you got it?" Even though it was a question, it didn’t sound like it needed an answer. Hot embarrassment washed all over you and you felt it pooling in your eyes.

"I’m sorry." You whispered. You really were sorry, you shouldn’t have done what you did, but there was no way to take that back. You were mature enough to admit your mistake, but apparently, it wasn’t enough for Joel. He lifted himself laying on his side and facing you, keeping his body up by leaning on his elbow. Looking in your eyes for a second, he studied your features, you wondered what he saw there because his face didn’t soften.

"Answer my fucking question. You got it?"

You nodded and hurried to answer because you felt like your silence would only piss him off more.

"Yes, Joel, I got it."

"Okay." He stared at you for another long minute, his eyes gliding over your lower lip that was now trapped between your teeth in an attempt to keep any other words silenced. His nostrils flared with a heavy exhale, eyes closing as if he was exhausted, and then he dropped back to his pillow without opening them. "Now go," he said flatly, "I need some sleep."

don't forget to leave a comment if you liked the chapter 🐇🤍

#iamasaddie fic #pimp!joel #htbs #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader

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talaok · 1 year

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This is a Spencer Reid request. Can you make something out of the scene where Spencer was telling Derek about his story about being tied to a pole by the football team in high school, and the only one there for him is reader? Like they grew up geniuses together or something

Y’all have so many great ideas, I'm jealous.

Geniuses

"Garcia restored those emails," Derek said, entering the room.

"yeah, I'm sorting through them right now" Spencer was sat in front of the computer, quickly scanning through them,

He hadn't found anything yet, and the tension was quickly rising in his chest.

Derek sat on the bed behind him, the mattress creaking underneath his weight

"Reid" he called for him, making him turn "you know, you're not the only one who identifies with him," he said, "you said I was a high school jock," he shrugged " I was, but not at first. my freshman year I was 5' 3" he chuckled " I weighed a buck 20 soaking wet, so trust me when I tell you I got my ass kicked every day," he explained " so the following summer I hit the weights, and I got lucky, I grew six inches, but it was never about vanity Reid, it was about survival"

spencer cleared his throat, maybe he had judged him too quickly.

"I was in the library and, uh-" Spencer started recalling " harper Hillman comes up to me and she tells me that Alexa Lisbon wants to meet me behind the fieldhouse," he told "Alexa Lisbon's like, easily the prettiest girl in school"

"so what happened, Alexa wasn't there?"

Spencer's eyes saddened.

For how much he had tried to forget all of this, all the wrongs and painful things people had done to him, it was impossible.

he still felt like that kid at times, that scared defenseless kid who couldn't do anything but accept what was done to him,

He often thought that maybe that's all he was ever going to be, a tall child, his height diffrent, but him the same.

"no she was there," his lips thinned into a bitter smile " so was the entire football team. They stripped me naked and tied me to a goal post" he had to stop a moment "so many kids were there, you know, just watching"

He could still see them,

he could still hear their manic laughs,

and he could still remember that feeling, that feeling of being completely impotent, pathetic, of being nothing.

"Nobody tried to stop them?"

A spark ignited in his eyes, y/n's face blessing his mind.

"There was one person"

"Who?"

"y/n," he smiled "Y/n Y/ln" his smile only got wider as he remembered you on that day, your sweet voice cracking as you yelled at them, begging them to stop, trying to let them understand what they were doing, that it was a human being they were humiliating "she tried" his smile got sad "She always did"

"but nobody listened"

Derek shook his head, a deep sigh fleeing his mouth

"We were the youngest people there you know?" he explained "she had skipped three years, like me" he chuckled "We made a pact the moment we met, we told each other that no matter what, we weren't gonna give up, we weren't gonna let them win" he laughed softly "she always used to say- no matter what happens, you keep your head high, only that way you'll see the finish line-"

Derek smiled too now

"she's the only reason I survived" he confessed "she's the reason I'm here"

"she seems great"

"she is"

"Where is she now?" he asked "we could use another genius on the team"

Spencer laughed "She's a teacher," he said "she's helping people like us"

"she's changing things from within"

"Well I'm glad she was there Reid" Derek patted his shoulder

"So am I"

he beamed

So am I.

#spencer reid #Spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer red fanfiction #Spencer reid fic #Spencer reid fanfic #Spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds #Spencer reid fluff #fluff #Spencer reid angst #angst #Btw I don’t really know how many years he skipped and I was too lazy to look it up

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nicromancytarot · 2 months

Text

WHAT IS YOUR STRONGEST PSYCHIC ABILITY

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD

I asked my spirit guides what your strongest psychic ability is, pick a pile and find out what they had to say.

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

Alchemy.

Alchemy is the act of turning metals into silver and gold, it was created in hopes of being able to find cures to diseases and therefore extending the longevity of life. Now obviously I’m not saying that you are able to physically turn a base metal into silver or gold, however I am saying that you mentally have the ability to turn something dull, into something great. You might find yourself to be an incredibly positive person, or perhaps you are very optimistic, this is due to your ability to fix whatever is going wrong in your life.

I am getting the message that you need to learn how to harness this ability so you can use it intentionally rather than on accident.

An example of this ability could be shown when someone is super depressed, everything’s going wrong for them in life, but all the sudden they rise like nothing even happened, they are able to turn a shitty situation into one of their greatest accomplishments, and all it takes is their mind and soul.

Extras: The Weeknd, The moon, Green, White, America, Bisexual

PILE 2

Clairaudience.

Clairaudience is the act of being able to hear things that exist in a paranormal matter. An example of this could be your own voice in your head, like a little internal narrator which is talking to you and telling you random things, perhaps they are reminding you of something you forgot, or maybe they are telling you not to do something. These voices can sometimes appear from outside of your body, you may hear them as though they are existing within the physical realm. However, do not get this confused with other mental health issues, if these voices tell you something disturbing or uncomfortable, those are not to be mistaken as an awakening or guide trying to reach you.

Now that being said, since you have the ability to hear things, you may go to a location that has unknown paranormal activity, and you could possibly hear something that no one else does, like footsteps, a scream, a screeching chair, the list goes on.

Your greatest ability is to take in those messages in which you receive, and using those to your greatest advantage to learn and understand more. This is one of the best ways to communicate with the higher beings (Spirit guides, The universe, God, etc)

Extras: Stars, James Marriott, Chicago, Boxing, Yellow, City man

PILE 3

Mediumship.

Mediumship is known for its ability to be able to see beyond the physical realm. It is greatly understood for being able to see spirits and even communicate with them. It may be that you can see those spirits clearly as if they are like real people who you can interact with. Or it could be that you see them in your minds eye, as if you can describe them, but they are just a projection of a thought that has been placed into your brain.

The ability itself is certainly one of the most interesting, you may find yourself able to beckon upon these spirits, you may feel as though they are called towards you or vice versa.

You could even have the chance to speak to and meet yours, or others higher selves, having introspective conversations with them to learn more about what you need to know for the future.

This could be something you grew up aware that you could do, or possibly something that comes to you with time. It may not appear obvious at first, perhaps it’s just shadows in the corner of yours eyes, or visual premonitions, if so, you can totally begin working on it, if that’s what you desire.

Extras: loud, Blue, Blueberry, Saturday, Molly, Beer, Madison Beer, Montell Fish

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile

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lynk-zee · 25 days

Note

Idk if you take request or not, I saw through your pfp and didn't saw anything so I'm going to give it a shot at least and if it's not possible it's okay I still love your content anyways :3 a sfw of course of what kind of fans would be the LaD boys if instead of being a hunter (or we just simply decided to switch careers and it goes well for us because the plot said so) we were a popular idol, (I feel like zayne would be a closet fan 100% with the argument that nobody asked) and how they would be in the handshake events

Idol!MC

Authors Note: Hi! Love the request! I was planning on waiting until I have 100 followers before I drafted up a request/asks page but as my first request, there’s no time like the present! So ask page to be determined. Thanks for the request!

Let’s say that your heart condition prohibited you from ever entering the Hunters field, but was stable enough for you to dance and sing…

Zayne would have been a long time fan, even before you were famous. When you were children, he would always hear you sing with the prettiest voice and see you dance like you were floating on air… When you did end up becoming an idol, Josephine made sure he was one of the first people to know, sending him a pamphlet of your first performance. So you can say he’s an OG stan. His desk at home would be littered with merch from keychains to pins even to a framed autograph with your kiss stain (he flushes all the time when he sees it and he will take that secret to his GRAVE). He has one of your keychains on his lanyard, but it’s small enough that no one would recognize it unless they squint hard enough. When it comes to your meet and greet, you’re surprised to see your childhood friend standing there, wearing your tee-shirt, all blank-faced and stoic, waiting for a handshake.

MC: Zayne? I didn’t know you were a fan…

Zayne: …You never asked.

In his head, you and Rafayel are already dating. Sure, you haven’t formally met yet, but it would make sense, no? He, who expresses himself through his paint. You, who touches the hearts of fans through your voice. An inspired duo indeed. You would make beautiful art together. Rafayel would download all your albums, playing your music when he hits an art block, harnessing the feelings he gets when he watches your performances on his phone to make art about a soft flame kindling warmth amongst the cold. Meeting you was nerve-wracking. For all the pomp and circumstance he puts out, he’s shy to meet person of his dreams. But today was the day— no going back now! He bought backstage passes to meet you one on one, no distractions whatsoever. When you came in after the show, his cheeks flushed with fire and his ears turned red at how beautiful you were in person. After wiping the sweat off your face from such an intense performance, you gave him the prettiest smile he’d ever seen.

MC: It’s nice to meet you, Rafayel! I’m a huge fan of your art!

Rafayel: O-Oh, really? *ahem* I’m glad your as big a fan of my art as I am yours. I could give you a personal tour at the gallery if you’d like…?

Xavier didn’t exactly understand what it meant to be obsessed with an idol. Yes, he loves your music and thinks you’re very pretty, and sure, he’s indulged in buying some merch a few times, but spending three hours at a claw machine to get your limited addition plushie was normal right? Xavier is a pretty lowkey fan to be fair. He wears your tee-shirts to bed and works out to your music, but all of that stays within the house anyways. Him meeting you was by chance or fate, who knows. He couldn’t sleep at night, a rare occurrence, when he decided to take a walk to clear his head. All of a sudden, his hunters watch goes off and a shrill scream fills the air, calling him to action. As he swiftly takes care of the Wanderer, he turns to make sure the pedestrian was safe when he realizes it’s you. His very favorite idol. Xavier’s face goes blank as he processes the whole situation and you scramble to your feet to thank him.

MC: Thank you so much, Mr. Hunter! You’re my hero…

When you lean up to give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a lipstick stain on his skin, he almost fainted.

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iloveyouinred · 10 months

Text

Yandere!Alhaitham x Reader

𓇬♡ | Warning: NSFW, size kink, noncon, drug, reader being tied, implying obsessive behavior, etc

𓇬♡ | Word Count: 1k

𓇬♡ | Note: I used the poll result!(It's not over yet, but both you and i know what the upcoming result is-). I am sleep deprived so please feel free to criticise this work. And I want to apologize for people who comment in my blog(I can't reply to you because it will expose my other blog, but I'll send mix signal in tag⚘️). Please enjoy!

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

In your pathetic state, Alhaitham come in the picture like a knight in a shining armor. You tought he would be your savior, yet not even The Scribe can resist the temptation of your sinfull body.

Alhaitham never imagined he would live to see the day where Kaveh stride from his moral code. The Scribe is a man bound by logic. He takes pride in his beliefs, and does things that serve his objectives. He never understands the mind of his blonde roommate, taking care of people in the street is one thing, but this view in front of him really takes him by surprise.

"What is this, Kaveh? Are you bringing a prostitute home?" He asks in calm demeanour. Shifting eyes from the body deliciously display before him, to the blonde man. Kaveh's smile turned upside down almost instantly.

"Hey, appreciate my present a little, wouldn't you?" He shrugged. Not expecting much- after all this is Alhaitham. "Anyway, you will like her. I promise."

Alhaitham raised an eyebrow in his friend's confidence. "I don't like used good." Green eyes drifted to the white sustain bubbling out your hole. He can only see the back of your head as he walks past his blonde roommate.

"Even Though it's that woman?" At the line Alhaitham fell silent. His eyes flicker as he watches your familiar figure, he rushes to lift your head that has been flattened to the cushion's soft surface. "..Archon." He let out a breathless whisper, as if the air was sucked out of his lung.

"How about it?" Kaveh can't help but smile proudly at The Scribe's lack of words.

"You are out of your mind." There was an inexplicable emotion embedded in his voice. Alhaitham is obviously furious, yet there was something else. It's as if some kind of foreign feeling intruded into his heart.

"I had my share, now it's your turn." Kaveh said. Doesn't want to deal with Alhaitham's words once he regains his composure. "Just leave it if you don't want to." He walked out of the door, leaving The Scribe with your tied body.

Alhaitham was planning to unbound the ropes on your body. Yet when he watches your flushed face, eyes can't meet his own because they lose focus. Your little body is bound by ribbons and rope, just in the right position to be used by him. His heart waver. Whatever sense of justice he had left in his mind evaporated in the warm air of the room when he felt your soft skin beneath his palm. The way your waist fits perfectly in his grip as if it were designed for him. He thinks of a way to ask for forgiveness, when he feels his cock throbbing on the sight of you from behind.

You were half conscious when you heard the sound of two men bickering not too far from where you lay. It didn't take long before one storm off outside with the sound of door slamming shut. You hear approaching footsteps from the only man left in the room with you. Will this man loosen the ropes that bind your body, because your limbs started to feel numb. You can't hear anything, because the man doesn't utter a single word, but you could feel his tight grips on your hips.

You didn't have time to say anything when he slammed what feels like an extremely fat cock into your hole. You gasp as he starts to move in and out. While he is consumed by his own lust, continuously thrusting into you at a quick pace. Your own body struggles to keep up with his movement, but he feels your walls clamping down at him, sucking him in, just like he needed you to. You are the woman of his dreams after all. The pretty girl that is on the sad side has fallen head over heels with the man that acts like your guard dog.

Alhaitham clenched his teeth as he recalled your smile around the red haired man. Jealousy filled his heart, he brings his face down to bite your shoulder. Licking, biting, and sucking aggressively- leaving marks on every skin on your back where his tongue passes. The ache in his heart subsides a little when he observes your trembling body underneath him- your little back coloured red with his marks and love bites- with your neck looking tiny in comparison to his large hand that clasps it. His gaze lowered down, watching the way your greedy cunt struggles to devour his thick length, yet desperately creaming on it. What a pretty girl you are.

If he could get his name tattooed on your body, he would have his initial- maybe a tiny 'A' engraved in the middle of your lower back, just right up your ass. The thought of his name adorning your lower spine alone left his cock throbbing. Your muffled moan was like fuel to fire. You recieve his sharp thrust like an obedient little kitten. When both of you know well you can't even move a single finger without feeling the rope digging into your skin.

He kisses the back of your neck grunting against your soft skin, whispering how you will know who your true owner is, before nibbling on your ear. You hole tighten around him as his thrust grows deeper. Sounds of skin slapping and your strangled moans filling the room. You could feel his breath grow heavy above you. The pace of his thrust grew frantic in chasing both of your orgasms. With his thrust constantly prodding against your spongy spot, it doesn't take long before you gush all around his length. He sends a few more snaps of his hips before letting your cervix sucks his sperm in.

You were too exhausted to remain conscious to feel him moving again. At least you won't feel him finish his loads of cum inside of you or get scared of getting pregnant with how deep his cock penetrates you, pushing against your cervix with each thrust. Even if you are unconscious right now, Alhaitham is making sure your body will absolutely remember the taste of his cock, shaping your inside to fit him alone. He will fuck you so hard that your pussy will learn to wet itself at the mere presence of his cock. And you will helplessly submit to him, If he ever gets a chance to lay his hand on you again.

#al haitam x reader #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x you #alhaitham genshin #yandere alhaitham #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin x reader smut #genshin x female reader #alhaitham x reader smut #ruby'sfic #yandere alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #al haitham x reader #alhaitham #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x female reader

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chrisevansonly · 7 months

Text

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: charles leclerc x female reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: life is too heavy to carry, thankfully your boyfriend will carry it with you

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: talks of mental health and suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression, heavy topics so please read at your own discretion

𝐚/𝐧: i’ll be honest this is self indulgent and i know i said i wasn’t writing but idk i feel so low and thought writing about how im feeling might help? ive struggled with mental illness my whole life so i find writing it out in a way i can enjoy helps…i hope it helps others that are in need of it too<3

Life is painful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, it’s dark and gloomy, heavy and hard to carry, life is painful. Okay well maybe not for everyone but for you it was, and it was draining, exhausting really trying to survive each day instead of living like everyone else. Truth be told you’d struggled with mental illness for as long as you can remember. In high school the suicidal thoughts came into play and you had fallen into a place no one deserved to fall.

You’d hear people tell you to smile, cheer up, get outside and take in the fresh air, but they don’t understand. They don’t get the internal pain one feels when they deal with depression and anxiety, unless you live it: you don’t get it.

So yes, life was painful but there was an ounce of sunshine in your life and it came in the form of Charles, your boyfriend of exactly three years. The man who broke through the storm to bring you blue skies and calm waters, the man who held you tightly as you cried for a break, aching for a moment of peace within yourself. Charles was a gift, you were sure of it: he was too.

“my love…?”

His voice was soft, delicate as it filtered through the dark bedroom, eyes filled with concern as he looked at you huddled under the blankets, almost willing them to swallow you whole

“hmm?”

It might not have been a word but Charles would take it

“can I get you anything? do you need something?”

The room fell silent again except for the sound of covers shifting, your head peaking over the duvet

“y-you please”

Hearing your voice break was enough for Charles to promptly move from his place in the doorway, lifting up the covers on his side of the bed before settling down and pulling you into his side, letting you virtually melt against him

“okay, okay i’m here, it’s okay amour..”

“it-it hurts”

“i know baby, i know it does…but it will only hurt for a little, i promise you.”

You wanted to believe him, you really did, but how many years would you have to suffer before it truly felt like you would never know how to feel okay.

“it’s hard to be here”

Now this caught Charles attention right away, having known your past with depression and even suicidal thoughts, he felt his blood run cold at the thought of you being anywhere than right here with him

“listen to me baby, i know it hurts, i know it’s hard, but i promise you i will help you find your sunshine, i will help you find your happiness”

He paused shifting to rest a hand on your cheek, his thumb swiping at a stray tear on your cheek

“i love you with everything in me, and i will do whatever i can to help you through this, if you need me to carry more of the weight, let me, if you need a shoulder to lean on more than usual, do it. you are my entire world baby, i won’t ever leave you out in the dark to take this on all on your own..”

Letting out a soft sniffle you looked up at him, always appreciating just how much love he held for you in his eyes alone

“why, i-i’m so sad a-all the time”

“because i love you. it doesn’t matter if your angry, happy, sad it’s part of you, i love all of you no matter what, and i am not going anywhere”

Charles leaned forward, pressing his lips to your forehead letting you have a minute to just digest everything he was saying

“pinky promise?” you asked softly, holding your pinky finger out which brought a soft smile to his face

“pinky promise baby, always.”

Nothing else needed to be said as you curled yourself further into his side, his arms only tightening on you, as if to keep you from slipping away from him. Charles knew words only helped so much, but he was willing to do whatever it took to bring you blue skies back. Even if it took days or weeks, even months, Charles was going to be right beside you, every step of the way.

Life might be painful, but you never had to go through it alone again.

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liaswills · 9 months

Text

Pick a card: Does your crush like you back?

Today we are asking 4 seperate energies what they think of you! It's important to know that any pick a card's are general energies and some messages are resonant to your crush and others might just be for other people. Generally this is my first pick a card on Tumblr but I've been in the tarot community for longer than today, since 2017 I read tarot.

Disclaimer: I haven't used any tarot cards for this reading, ironically. I'm channelling the messages instead.

Take a moment, I understand crushes on anyone can be mind whirling and obsessive at times. But well I'm here to feed your obsession, aren't I? I will take the opportunity to channel their messages so every reply is written in the voice of your crush (general) and I'll give all four groups some extra information too!

Pick one of these four sentences from my favourite tommy shelby quotes!

1. "Why not?" — Thomas Shelby

2. "Do I look like a man who wants a simple life?" — Thomas Shelby

3. “We used to come here; she’d wait for hours for me when I couldn’t make it. And I’d wait for her if her family kept her in.” — Thomas Shelby

4. “A man needs to prove he is better than me, rather than show me his birth certificate.” — Thomas Shelby

All readings are channelled letters from your crush s/o. Hope you enjoy these and follow my account for more tarot posts!

Pile 1: "Why not?"

First of all this is a person that thinks softly of you. They have kind eyes, might be more of an effeminate person. May have a beard, or look like a gentle giant. I'm also getting blonde/brown hair or shoulder length blonde hair. They have dazzling eyes.

My darling,

I have never called you that before. But why not, eh? Or maybe I do enjoy calling you that in my mind. You are like a fond thought my mind wanders to when I am sitting in the train or my car. Or when I walk or am riding my bike. I think of you softly. I'm secretly afraid, that whilst I think of you softly, you don't think of me that way. I might just be a hopeless fool thinking you'd be interested in myself. Or perhaps I am not a fool?

I kind of want to do fun things together. Take it slow. There are some people I think of. Some other people that might be interesting to me as well. I know you didn't expect to hear that but I'm sometimes too stuck in my daydreams that I wished I was anyone's person. I just want to think of love. I like to imagine my closest friends think me an idiot everytime I say I met someone because how could they not? I sort of just 'love' being in love, right there, in my head.

Telling you how I feel makes me question whether it's worth it. Should I take that step to ask you how you're doing? To ask you whether you'd like to walk with me? Get an icecream? I don't know how to date to be honest. I read often, I just thought that thinking of you in my mind would be easier than thinking of you and I actually going someplace to do fun things together.

I specically like your legs, your smile, your hair. I think you look like my dream person. I may not smile in person, or I may not say these things in person, or I may not even let you know how HOT I think you are but you really are my type. I just don't know whether you'd think of me as 'your' type.

Sometimes I fantasize too much. I think it all out. Us, together, marriage, maybe even normal things like grocery shopping together or finding out what kind of candy you eat or don't eat. I kind of want to know how you live your life. I really admire how you come off to me as a person and I just think that we could 'be' something. If only my mind wasn't so easy to wander to other scenario's and people and friends who could possibly become my person too.

If you like me, just tell me. Right now. I beg of you. It would make my day. It would be recipocrated, I already have chosen you in my heart but I can't keep my mind collected. I can't stop thinking about work or about how busy I actually am when in truth, I just want to get to know you better.

Don't be sad. I don't want you to be sad. Was I an asshole? I never meant to be one. Trust me.

Do you trust me?

Yours Forever,

Your hopeless romantic

Pile 2: "Do I look like a man who wants a simple life?"

This is someone who has dark features. Might have brown hair. They come off as someone who has dazzling green/hazel or brown eyes. They are HANDSOME. You think of them in a handsome light. Their dress style might enchant you daily. Everytime you receive pictures of them or see them you might just think highly of their aesthetic. They're giving stronger masculine vibes or someone who has a dominant personality.

Babes,

Look I never meant to fall for you. I think my guides never saw 'me' falling for you. But I did. I was thrown into this abyss of feelings that I had long forgotten or long thought I could not feel anymore. I keep being disappointed in life but you have never disappointed me. I like that. I like that about you.

You and I talk or we don't. It's like that. I know it is. Because I keep you far away from me when I need time to make a decision. When I need to fix my shit. When I need to fix my issues. I have many of them. I don't need an angel like you to come into that mess. I don't want you to see a mess or see me as a mess. I need you to understand that I'm getting better. Really, I am. I thought I told you that, before, didn't I?

My life can never be just us. It's everything. It's mostly my family, my job, my friends. It's everything. I am always at the center of it and sometimes that makes me anxious. My friends drag me into shit you may not like. I might hurt your ideas about me when I do stuff like that, or I might be repugnant but it's just who I am, all right?

I can't be with someone who will hold me back. I am not saying you do this, but I hope that you will understand I don't really know how to be in a relationship that isn't going to end in destruction so I will put this lightly: don't give me the steer. I need you to say what you need to say and be as expressive as possible to keep me there with you. Maybe I like you, maybe I don't, I don't even know this myself.

See my guides want me to stop questioning my life. They want me to stop being such a fuck, maybe I do too. When I talk to you or when I think of you, I think of what of a redemption arc that would be for me? I know that sounds weird, but I think of how I could do 'right' by you.

So, technically, no, I don't want you to crush on me because I would not deserve you. But I also want you to be with me because I want to have you. Does that make me an asshole? I suppose it does.

Look, I know how to get you on your knees. I know how to kiss you, I'm experienced, I know. I know where to push your button, what to flirt, what to say, I do this naturally. It's like god gave me one gift and it's flirting without actually intending to flirt.

I get in a lot of trouble for that.

Like you for instance. You're my trouble. You're my death. You are the one person I can't get off my mind and it bothers me because I can't come forward to you and give you this sorry excuse of a person that I am right now. I really can't. Will you forgive me for not saying anything? If you ask me about my feelings, my love, I will most likely just ignore it or just be rude. I know, I can't have you.

You do NOT deserve me. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to want me, yet I do. Yet I thrive on it. Yet I am so sick that I would get off on it. I want you to want me, it's a game, alright? It's a game. I thrive on the thrill. I thrive on chasing. I thrive on flirting. This is a mad world and you're making it worse.

If you'd give me a chance, if by some miracle you'd be able to tame the fucktard that I am, would you be able to put up with my non-commital energy? Would you? See, you don't want this. I know you do.

My guides don't want this for you.

I'm sorry,

Your idiot.

Pile 3: “We used to come here; she’d wait for hours for me when I couldn’t make it. And I’d wait for her if her family kept her in.”

Your person is very feminine. I see someone who is shy, gives off introverted vibes or might just be a person who doesn't express what's going on with them all the time. They have a hard time texting others first, they might wait on texts instead. I feel like they are someone who thinks fondly of you.

Mr/Mrs *insert your name*,

I didn't know it could feel like this. Ha, who would've thought that, ME of all people would like you like some childish crush, though, the child in me still dreams of my shining knight. Are you that person? My shining hero, you might think I read too much fantasy novels or that I'm too obsessed with that one band, haha, I know, I am. I may talk too much about my one interest because It's all I think of. It's where I want to be, want to dream of, it's where my mind wanders and what keeps me occupied. I know you're not like that, or maybe you are, but you don't show it that easily.

I do like you. There, I said it. I want to be polite. I want to court you properly, when I do gather the courage to actually do that. I feel like somehow you might be the one person for me. Therefore, I find you irresistable. Because of that connection between us. We might already be friends, or well, we hang around one another, but I think you and I could be something more.

It had to be you. It just had to be you. That's what Barbra Streisand sings in the song "It had to be you" with Michael Bublé. I am on a cloud. Because I dream too much, I might seem like I am zoning out at times. That's what you do to me. You make me zone out and dream of many things. Sometimes my mind wanders back to those idols though, haha, or my favourite celebrities or games or book characters. But it mostly is you.

I would like to tell you how you inspire me. I am not an artistic person, but if I was, I would draw you. I would paint you. I would want to paint your soul. Does that sound too weird? Probably. See, when I think of you, I think of how you would be the most perfect thing to be laying beside me. To be holding hands with as we walk through an autumn world forest, to get a hot drink with in the cold winter, to meet up with for lunch or dinner. I think of you kindly, admiring and I hope you don't think I'm coming off too strongly on you because yes, I recipocrate this crush you have on me.

Even if you're not sure if you crush on me, I would not mind. Technically, I'm yours. I want to be yours. I might not be too responsible sometimes, I might not take the lead in things but I promise you that I can do that if you allowed me the time to adjust to you, to being around you, and not just you in my head.

I could ramble on and on about you in my head. I don't have many friends and the people I talk to I do mention you. Sometimes when I see something that reminds me of you, like something I see in a store window and I am like, you would like that shit, I'm almost tempted to buy it as a gift. I like gift giving. But I am bad with receiving it. I would really like if we could give each other book or song recommendations, maybe exchange poems. I secretly would give you a poem that explains my feelings for you, not going to lie about that.

Yeah, that's what it is. I sometimes feel like I have no appetite. I don't want to eat when I think of you. I can't get my head straight some days. And then I just focus only on stories. Books. My interests. I would like to get to know your interests too. Sometimes I worry that I am not good enough for you. Or that you would not want me. It keeps me silent. Truly.

It's stupid, I know. I might not come from a good background. My family life was not something that brought me joy and that kept me in my books and my internal world. Or it was my school but I hope that you might want to be my family.

Or is that too much? I'll convince you of how great that would be. :)

Yours truly,

*insert their name*

Pile 4: “A man needs to prove he is better than me, rather than show me his birth certificate.”

This is a soft masculine energy. He comes off hard on the outside. I am getting a definite 'he' but it could also be someone that is considered a butch energy, has macho energy or a person with very masculine energy. Technically it doesn't matter but this person has a message for you and it's coming. :) They're a bit mysterious.

My Destiny.

You feel like my destiny. You know I am a religious person, I think a certain way about life that might be philosophical, it might be faith, it just is my faith. I want you to know that when you're not around, I think of you as special. The song, I am a Creep, by radiohead, you like that one don't you?

Why do I have the feeling that you're after the bad guy. That you're after someone who looks dangerous, could be dangerous and that I would be that person for you. Why do you give me those eyes? That stare? That smirk? You're playing coy but I know that you fantasize about me like I am some devil in the sheets.

I really am not. *Snort*. Truly, you'll think of me less than that. Sometimes I worry that you think of me in a way where you're making this up. About me, information just gets distorted or you make something up in your mind that doesn't truly fit my personality. I would say that I don't mind you doing this, I think it's kind off cute. I think you're cute.

Some days, I wonder what you're doing. Only some days. Like those moments when it's night, you're sitting on the couch or in the tub and I am contemplating what to do now that my phone died (I might just be addicted to my phone) and I think of you in those moments of disconnect. I can watch the moon or I can look up at the nightsky and wonder if you're my person.

I like witches. Eh, did I say that? Yep. You're like a witch to me. Not in a bad way, more like in the way that "I know my girlfirend is a witch" vibe. You are mysterious to me. Something about you that I can't pinpoint my finger on. Something mysterious. It draws me in, but at the same time I don't want to be drawn in by you.

It's a push and pull with my feelings of my heart and my body and my mind. It's like this, I don't think you fit in my ordinairy life. You should do something with someone that fits your life. We might just be dating other people or you might feel unavailable emotionally to me, which is something I can't help but only you can, truly.

Still... I do think of you softly. In the quiet moments. My mind lingers on you. You're my favourite happy place where my thoughts can wander to. My favourite thing to relax, I don't know maybe your body is too. You know how I would love to relax with you, sweaty, together and being intimate in a way that makes you blush if I would ever talk about it nonchalantly in public day light.

I'd like to take you to a restaurant. You'd like that, huh? I know, I am smug when I think I know something about you but truly, i'm just a clueless fool wanting your attention when all but nothing you're just this goddess that could ruin me if you tried.

You don't even have to try, truly. I'm already broken, that's my secret.

I don't fear breaking my heart. So, if you do want to chase this? Chase me, darling.

I am ready.

But, let me say one more thing before I end this message. That dress, those trousers, that favourite clothing item you own, the one that looks comfortable, but isn't? Ehm, yeah, I have thought about you in that exact piece and eh- shamefully have fantasies about you wearing that fucking thing. Sorry, I get carried away when it's you, I really do.

You didn't expect this, did you? I know you think me the person you'd think is your type but you might need to re-arrange your expectations about me. I will disappoint you, I know that I will, I can't do nothing right in my life, why would I do right by you?

I sound like I hate myself. Perhaps I do.

Will you love me then, honey?

You know who I am.

Thankyou for reading this pick a card! I hope the message resonates and that you're able to enjoy this little crush reveal or did not enjoy this crush disappointment. The energies were very different and some messages aren't entirely the same but take whatever resonates, not what doesn't, if your gut feeling says those words weren't from your crush or s/o then they're not.

All the love, elias.

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