#I prefer weird over boring but still wtf??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tehuti88-art · 1 year

Photo

12/16/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Obersturmbannführer (Lt. Col.) Hasso Reinhardt, sans cap (top drawing) and with cap (bottom drawing). He's rather odd. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding his design, he's a white Alsatian (German shepherd). I think I made his nose too small, ah well.

TUMBLR EDIT: Reinhardt is a secondary character whose backstory doesn't play a huge role so far, so what I know is still developing and still very open to change.

A relatively new development is that Hasso Reinhardt is a Junker. He comes from a well-off country family, similar to Louis Dobermann, and similar to the Dobermanns his family is somewhat old fashioned and longs for the "old days" of imperialism and whatnot when their class had meaningful influence. Alas, those times are past. Reinhardt makes do; he meets a lovely young lady and the two grow quite close and, despite his family's grumblings--she's middle class, not very suitable for him--they make plans to marry. His parents hadn't expected this, had figured it was just a temporary fling, so threaten to disown him if he follows through; he defies their threat, however, and says if that's what they want, well, that's what they'll get. He enlists in the military and heads off into the Great War, looking forward to the day it's over and the two of them can be together. While on the front, however, he receives a letter...yep, a "Dear John" letter. She still loves him, but she doesn't want to get in between him and his family, so she breaks it off. The war ends in an armistice; not just Germany, but Reinhardt as well, returns home with his figurative tail between his legs, demoralized and humiliated. [NOTE, WTF, I do not remember writing that. What a weird analogy.] His family is rather cool at first but they magnanimously decide not to rub it in, TOO much. Reinhardt keeps his position in the family, though he's not sure the cost is worth it.

World War II rears its ugly head. Reinhardt's a bit on the older side so I'm not sure yet if he joins the Waffen-SS and fights a bit, or if he heads straight for the SS-Totenkopfverbände, which often switches out members with the Waffen-SS; either way, he ends up in an administrative position in the SS-TV, doing boring bureaucratic stuff. He doesn't complain--in fact, this is the type of work he's best at, taking charge of people, smoothing things over, handling disagreements and all the petty squabbles the SS gets involved in behind the scenes. He prefers bringing people to the table to talk things through, and dealing with theoretical issues on paper, and making a huge cumbersome process more efficient. And if there's anything that's big and cumbersome and perplexing, it's the SS camp system, which the SS-Totenkopfverbände oversees.

Why did Reinhardt join the SS in the first place? I'm not sure, especially considering his temperament. He's not murderous, he's not hateful, he's not bloodthirsty or malicious or even radicalized the way Lt. Hesse is. He's not committed to the idea of the stab in the back. He does come with a lot of old-fashioned, imperialist baggage, though. While most of his fellow SS members are violently racist and antisemitic to the point of wanting people dead, Reinhardt's racism is more subtle, but just as pervasive. The SS comes up with an early plan to deport the Jews elsewhere, possibly to Madagascar (I'm not making that up, "Madagaskarplan" was actually a thing); it doesn't occur to him to think, hm, maybe Madagascar isn't a viable solution to the Jewish Question and it's more likely they'll die there and that's kind of the point--Reinhardt doesn't tend to deal in unpleasant things, he's an idealist. Also, he may not despise or wish violence on the Jews, but he still sees them as subhuman; to him, they're almost like lower primates, with basic intelligence and abilities but nowhere on the same level as the Aryans. They're like chimpanzees or gorillas or, at best, small children. (Presumably he feels the same about other races.) If they ever do anything bad, well it's not really their fault, they just don't possess the intelligence or reasoning ability to know better. They need to be looked after for their own good, and it's the SS's job to do that.

He's an idealist, and pretty naive about some things, but not entirely ignorant--he knows when the camps start focusing on more extreme measures for dealing with Jews and Roma and gays and disabled. He doesn't agree with it, but it's not his place to question; he sticks by the idea that resettlement or supervision is better, but can do nothing more than that. Another reason he finds it preferable to work from behind desks--out of sight, out of mind.

This all changes one day when the alarm at the nearby labor camp is triggered--a group of prisoners has escaped after murdering the commandant, Ernst Dannecker, and presumably taking his stepdaughter Margarethe hostage. (She's actually in on it, though nobody knows this for a while.) There are signs that a while has already passed since the escape; turns out they have roughly an hour's lead. The SS sends out search parties to go through all the nearby buildings and homes although their hopes of finding the perpetrators are dim.

Reinhardt is of course made aware of this but has nothing to do with it. The next day, however, a guard from the camp arrives at SS-Totenkopfverbände administrative headquarters, disheveled and breathless, with bizarre news. After Dannecker's death, his adjutant, Maj. Lars Franke, assumes command--nothing too weird about that. It's the manner in which he does it that raises eyebrows. Franke takes control and insists that he now has the permanent position of commandant--not temporary, and there'll be no process for determining whether anyone else might be better suited. Dannecker was unpopular, so there was lots of whispered theorizing about who might assume his place should anything happen; so of course the other guards are pissed off that they don't even get a say. Franke immediately cracks down on any dissent, threatening the guards the same way Dannecker once threatened them, and just as immediately, they all hate him as well, and want him out. The moment they argue back, though, he snaps--in the middle of the prison yard, in full view of guards and prisoners alike, he orders the kapo, Isaak Schindel, to beat the guard who's being insubordinate. Schindel--who was terrorized by Dannecker previously and is terrorized now--just freezes: He can't disobey an order from an SS guard, but he can't beat an SS guard, either--he literally has no idea what to do. Franke resolves this issue by grabbing Schindel's club and doing the job himself. He beats the guard senseless, threatens any of the other guards that if they help him out he'll do the same to them, hurls Schindel's club at the ground, and storms back inside, where he promptly locks himself in Dannecker's office--which still has his bloodstain on the floor--and refuses to open the door for or respond to anyone. It looks like he's suffered a complete mental breakdown, which isn't far from the truth.

In the midst of the beating, this particular guard mutters to a coworker, "F**k this, I'm getting out of here," demands to be let out (the guards operating the gate are too bewildered to refuse), and flees to headquarters, begging to speak with anyone in charge. The situation is so confusing, and his story so unbelievable, plus the SS-TV is still reeling from Dannecker's death, that it's quite a while before he's put in contact with Reinhardt--or rather, Reinhardt volunteers to hear him, since nobody else seems inclined to. The guard relates his tale, and Reinhardt agrees to visit the camp to see what's up. He arrives there and is allowed in and is met by a bizarre scene: Nobody is working--the few guards still in the yard are keeping to themselves near the administration building, while the prisoners are mostly lingering at the side of the yard near their barracks. Their attention is focused not on the guards but on something on the ground not too far away--it's the unconscious guard, who's been left lying there this whole time. One of the prisoners is squatting on the muddy ground near him, holding a stick and staring back at the others, who have malevolent looks on their thin faces. Reinhardt strides in this direction, noting how the prisoners start to immediately and furtively disperse as soon as they see him coming. The remaining prisoner has his back to him, so doesn't know he's there until he speaks.

Reinhardt: "You! On the ground."

Prisoner: (jumps up, surprised, takes off his cap; he's wearing a green-and-yellow star) "Herr--Herr Obersturmbannführer."

Reinhardt: "Name."

Prisoner: "Schin--Schindel, Isaak Schindel, Herr Obersturmbannführer."

Reinhardt: "What are you doing with that weapon?"

Schindel: "I'm--I'm der Lagerälteste, Herr Obersturmbannführer."

Reinhardt: "Just the one?"

Schindel: "Ja, Herr Obersturmbannführer."

Reinhardt: "What happened to this man?"

Schindel: "It--it was my stick but I didn't touch him, Herr Obersturmbannführer, I swear."

Reinhardt: "Tell me what happened."

Schindel: (hesitates)

Reinhardt: "The truth, Herr Schindel."

Schindel: "It...it was the adjutant, Herr Obersturmbannführer. Herr Franke. He got mad at this man, who gave him cheek, and...he ordered me to hit him but I can't do that, I didn't want to disobey but I didn't know what to do. So he took my stick and beat him with it. I didn't touch him, I swear."

Reinhardt: (stunned) "He's just been lying here unattended since then--?"

Schindel: "Ja, Herr Obersturmbannführer. Herr Franke ordered none of the guards to help him."

Reinhardt: "And why are you sitting here like this?"

Schindel: "Well..." (glances toward the prisoners milling around) "If I didn't they would've killed him, Herr Obersturmbannführer"

Increasingly angry, Reinhardt shouts for one of the nearby guards to come, and orders him and a companion to carry the unconscious guy into the medical ward; when they reiterate Franke's order that they not touch the guy, Reinhardt retorts, "I'm the one with rank here, are you going to disobey?" and that settles it, they pick the poor guy up and carry him away. Then he orders Schindel to lead him to Dannecker's office. This is not Schindel's job, and he feels very ill at ease about it, but also obeys. As soon as he draws near the office a couple more guards loitering nearby see him and start saying, "Hey, Jew, what do you think you're doing in here--?" but Reinhardt then appears and they snap to attention. He demands to be shown to Dannecker's office. They take him there and the door is of course locked; "Kamerad Franke is inside, but he won't come out or do anything but yell at us," one of the guards explains. Reinhardt pounds on the door--"Sturmbannführer Franke!"--and immediately gets a voice shrieking back at him, "I SAID TO GO AWAY!!" That won't do at all.

Reinhardt: "Kamerad Franke! This is Obersturmbannführer Hasso Reinhardt from the administrative office. I order you to open this door immediately!"

Franke: (hurried footsteps, then the rattling of the door unlocking and opening) (panicky) "K--Kamerad Reinhardt! I'm so sorry, I thought you were one of the others--"

Reinhardt: "What the hell is going on here?"

Franke: "Nothing, Kamerad, just a few of my men overreacting."

Reinhardt: "Overreacting? You're the one who's locked yourself in this office, you mind telling me what that's all about?"

Franke: "I just--I just needed a bit of time to cool my head, Kamerad, it's been pure madness here with Kamerad Dannecker's--"

Reinhardt: "Don't act like I don't know what's been going on. It's no excuse for you to behave this way. What's this business with that poor fellow out in the yard? The kapo says you hit him?"

Franke: "Only--only because they both disobeyed my direct orders! There must be discipline! Or else everything breaks down!"

Reinhardt: "You don't go pummeling one of your own men nearly to death and then leave him lying in the dirt, Kamerad Franke!"

Franke: "He disobeyed an order and talked back to me. There's no excuse for it! I have to set an example for the rest!"

Reinhardt: "What sort of example, that you're even worse than Kamerad Dannecker was? He didn't know how to run a camp and neither do you. You know the way we do things and this isn't it. You're not fit to be commandant here."

Franke: "Wh...what?"

Reinhardt: "You're to gather your belongings and leave camp property immediately. For a medical emergency."

Franke: "Med--medical emergency? But--I'm perfectly fine!"

Reinhardt: "You're obviously not. Gather your things and take a medical leave."

Franke: "You can't do this! This isn't your camp!"

Reinhardt: "Effective immediately, it is. Now you can get your things and take a medical leave, or I can send you to a doctor myself. Which would you prefer?"

Well, considering what the Nazis do to the mentally unstable, Franke sees the writing on the wall; fuming and humiliated, he gathers his belongings and departs, though he mutters lots of vague threats under his breath as he does so, and at the gate even shakes his fist back at the camp--"I'm not just going away! I'm going to be back!"--before storming off.

(The last time I talked about Franke's "voluntary" departure, I had no idea what would become of him. I've since learned some details. He successfully transfers into the Waffen-SS, joins a panzer division (both the Wehrmacht and the Waffen-SS have these in my story, and the two often get into sparring matches with each other--the SS think they're badasses while the Wehrmacht think they're idiots who suck at fighting, plus their tanks break down a lot), and gets some of the aggression out of his system that way. He may or may not unwittingly become involved in Project Doomsday, which starts administering the serum to unsuspecting Waffen-SS members. Another thing I found out is, ah, he has a thing for drag performers. But he gets really, really pissed off if you mention he has a thing for drag performers; he just refers to them as women. Some serious denial going on. Anyway. Say goodbye to Franke for now, back to Reinhardt.)

Well, Reinhardt finds he's inherited a labor camp. He doesn't really want it, but here it is. He starts taking action--first order of business is seeing to the prisoners still milling around outside. He asks a guard if they've been fed; no, not since yesterday. Orders some soup cooked up in the kitchen and handed out, then for the prisoners to head back to their barracks since there's no point getting them back to work that day. He'll figure out what else to do with them tomorrow. Checks on the injured guard now in the medical ward; he's regained consciousness but is groggy and in a lot of pain and likely to be out of commission for a while. Gathers the other guards in the yard, gives them a brief summary of what to expect--"Expect some changes"--then sends them back to their posts. Returns to Dannecker's office--now his office--and is surprised to find Schindel still there, wringing his cap in his hands. Reinhardt never dismissed him, so of course he never left; he was so quiet Reinhardt forgot he was there. Requests him to fetch the nearest guard and bring him to the office, and stares at the bloodstain on the floor; he'll need to get that taken care of, too. Schindel returns with a guard, who salutes.

Reinhardt: "That'll do, Herr...ah..."

Schindel: "Schindel, Herr Obersturmbannführer."

Reinhardt: "Herr Schindel. Return to your duties, bitte."

Schindel: (bobs head and leaves)

Reinhardt: "Kamerad. There are any other Sturmbannführer here?"

Guard: "Nein, Kommandant Reinhardt."

Reinhardt: "Hm. Do we have personnel files on site?"

Guard: "Ja, Kommandant Reinhardt."

Reinhardt: "Gather the files of all the Untersturmführer through the Hauptsturmführer and bring them to me, bitte."

Guard goes to the files and records room. An Obersturmführer named Jan Delbrück is here; he used to patrol the yard, and is in charge of administering the final shots that finish off prisoners who are to be executed by firing squad--a highly unpleasant job that he hates. Dannecker, however, got fed up with his habit of "fraternizing" with Schindel--by offering him cigarettes and the two of them standing and smoking together as they watched the yard--so relegated him to the file room and away from the prisoners. He's perplexed by the other guard's request: "What the f**k you want all those files for?" When he's informed that Kommandant Reinhardt wants them he's all "Who the f**k is Kommandant Reinhardt?" When he's told Reinhardt booted Franke and is now in charge he's all "What the f**k is going on out there??" Turns out nobody's bothered to even check in on him and he's missed everything, even the hasty roll call earlier. Despite being beyond flustered, he gathers the requested files and hands them over, then takes a break to go smoke since this is all way over his head. Returns to the file room and to whatever tedious but stable job it is Dannecker gave him to do there, but some time later, is again interrupted by the guard, now informing him that Reinhardt has requested him. Goes to Dannecker's--Reinhardt's--office and meets him for the first time. Reinhardt has Delbrück's file in his hand. He's been browsing through them all, seeking an appropriate replacement for Franke--a new adjutant--and he thinks Delbrück fits the bill just nicely. Flustered all over again--and not really interested in additional responsibility--Delbrück stammers that the previous adjutants were all just one rank below the commandants, whereas he's three ranks below. Reinhardt waves his hand and dismissively says, "Oh, fine, fine--Hauptsturmführer--Sturmbannführer. There. I'll make it official later. Move your belongings to Kamerad Franke's old suite, he won't be needing it anymore. And report back here in the morning and...well, start doing whatever it is adjutants do, we'll figure it out."

Delbrück's pretty sure that's not how promotions work but is too confused to argue. He stands there for a moment, then returns to his bunk, gets his belongings, and moves out of the guard barracks and into Franke's old quarters in the administration building. Reinhardt, meanwhile, unlocks and enters the suite that was supposed to be Dannecker's--it's just off his office--yet has gone unused all this time. Commandants are required to live on camp property and never be away for longer than 24 hours without permission, yet this is just another of the SS regulations that Dannecker disregarded, choosing instead to live in a house offsite with his wife and stepchildren. Reinhardt looks around the barren quarters and lets out a small sigh. There will need to be big changes here. But they'll have to wait until morning.

Camp mornings come early, but Reinhardt is used to waking before dawn. Roll call is taken for both prisoners and guards, and the former are sent to work as usual, though Reinhardt takes some additional time to address the guards. The current situation and schedule will remain for now but a new one is to be phased in over time. Firstly, renovation of the prisoner barracks. Of course the prisoners themselves are going to handle all the heavy work, but it'll result in better living conditions, which means improved prisoner labor. Speaking of labor, the entire way this is handled is to be overhauled. No more back breaking just for the sake of back breaking; it's a labor camp, and its immense labor force can be put to good use for the Reich. Labor is going to be diversified--some camps are known for their manufacture of goods, for example--and prisoners are to be assessed for general labor skills and then assigned appropriate roles on the reorganized labor force. The camp will become productive rather than destructive. And speaking of destructive: Reinhardt points at the crematorium, and says, "It's my goal to keep that thing running as infrequently as possible. This is not an extermination camp. If one can be productive, if one can earn their keep, then they don't get the bullet. We're in a war; we need to keep things working."

The guards listen but cast each other sideways glances. Reinhardt's ideas are beyond strange, but nobody speaks up. Over the following weeks and months, they gradually implement the new plan; the prisoners fix up the buildings, new jobs are assigned, necessary goods are brought in. Previously the camp was known only for hard, pointless labor, things like breaking and transporting rocks aimlessly, building and tearing down walls, digging and filling in holes--stupid stuff that was never intended to be productive, just to more slowly kill the prisoners. Those who were incapable of doing any of this were shot and cremated. Under Dannecker, the crematorium ran almost constantly, its acrid black smoke a frequent irritant to people in the city when the wind blew the wrong way. Now, heavy labor serves a purpose, plus lighter jobs are created--such as sewing uniforms, and the manufacture of goods for sale--and prisoners who previously might have been executed on arrival are put to work in these roles instead. Of course, there are always going to be those who can do no work at all, and the crematorium can't stop running entirely. Still, the death toll drops significantly, and Reinhardt occasionally fudges it even more by sending unwanted prisoners along to other camps rather than killing them there. This makes it clear his motivations aren't 100% altruistic and enlightened--for example, he puts these particular prisoners out of his mind, they're someone else's problem--plus he's still advocating what's basically slave labor. Still, it's a far more progressive stance than most commandants take, and it isn't long before Reinhardt's tactics start to garner attention--definitely not all of it positive. The SS-Totenkopfverbände, in particular, is concerned by this turn of events, and sends representatives to question Reinhardt and check the place out.

Reinhardt shows off how much the camp has improved, the crematorium barely runs anymore, the prisoners are in better shape and making good use of their skills. A representative complains that this isn't what the camp is for. "It's a labor camp, ja...?" Reinhardt retorts. "I'm making these prisoners productive members of society, in keeping with our principles." He points at the sign over the gate, ARBEIT MACHT FREI. "You see that gate? Work sets you free." "It's not meant to be taken literally," the representative protests, but it's futile; Reinhardt says, "Unless and until I get a letter to desist from der Reichsführer himself, this is how I'm running my camp." The representatives leave, flustered and nonplussed but unable to do anything. Various times throughout Reinhardt's tenure as commandant, he gets such visits and audits, and sparks quite a bit of grumbling in the ranks of the SS-Totenkopfverbände and the Allgemeine-SS (which also investigates Reinhardt and various of his men such as Delbrück for possible criminal activities), but they can never dig up quite enough dirt to do much, and higher-ups aren't much inclined to take action, being too distracted by the war. Not to mention that everyone considers this situation a vast improvement over how Dannecker did things, and the camp really is quite productive, finally turning a profit off its labor. And the city residents find it nice not breathing that awful smoke all the time. It seems like a win-win for everyone. (Well, except for the prisoners who get sent along to other camps.)

Speaking of Delbrück, even he expresses skepticism of Reinhardt's new methods--"You know they're all laughing at you behind your back, ja?" he asks as they eat dinner together (both of them are bachelors)--but Reinhardt brushes it off: "I don't worry about what they're doing behind my back when I have enough to deal with in front of my face."

Since I just alluded to it...in the SS it's supposed to be a rule that eligible men get married and start families--four kids is the ideal. Many of them never bother, for various reasons. Delbrück, for example, is a loner who despises the thought of starting a family, though he does participate for a while in Lebensborn, likely fathering at least a few children he never meets, then later on gets involved with Mirjam Zweifel, a Jewish prostitute (obviously this doesn't count, though to him it ends up being a relationship). Reinhardt, meanwhile, just never gets around to it. Although it was ages ago and most of his family have passed on, he still carries the sting of being dumped by the one woman he cared about so much, and although he has a brief fling here and there (I mean, he's not entirely celibate), like Delbrück, he doesn't bother getting emotionally attached. Now nearing middle age, although still fit and in good health, he can't help but figure most women wouldn't be too interested in settling down with him anyway. So rather than deal with possible rejection he just avoids the subject. Delbrück doesn't get pestered by the SS about this due to his "contributions" to Lebensborn, though the SS does niggle at Reinhardt now and then that he's not getting any younger; he does his best to ignore them and focus on his work.

When keeping track of everything at the camp gets a little too complicated, they decide they need to hire a secretary. The SS-Helferinnenkorps, the women's auxiliary offshoot of the SS (women aren't allowed to join the Schutzstaffel), accordingly sends one over. SS-Helfer Britta Azinger arrives and meets Delbrück first; he takes a good look at her--young, blue eyed, strawberry blond, petite, curvy, with the most adorable winning smile--and promptly leads her to Reinhardt's office, barely able to keep the smirk off his face. They'd been expecting a dour frumpy older woman, not this. They arrive before Reinhardt's desk and Delbrück introduces Azinger but the commandant doesn't even bother looking up from his papers at first, just offering a hasty greeting and waving for Delbrück to show her to her office, until Azinger speaks up, saying, "Guten Tag, Kamerad Reinhardt, I've heard such good things and I look forward to working with you." Hearing that bright unexpected voice, Reinhardt looks up. And blinks. The most beatific smile spreads across Azinger's face, and the lamp backlights her just so, that she literally looks like an angel beaming down at him. (It doesn't hurt that she's rather busty and the buttons on her shirt and jacket are straining, either.) He stands up to greet her--she's quite short and he's quite tall--and wonders aloud what she means by having heard good things about him; "Oh, everyone's heard of how you run your camp," she says; "It's quite revolutionary! I actually volunteered to be posted here so I might learn more about your techniques." Reinhardt's quite startled by all this, but Azinger just has the most winning smile (and oddly tight uniform), and she seems so impressed by him, that he can barely think straight; he offers to show her to her office instead of Delbrück. He tells her when he and Delbrück have dinner and invites her to join them--"I understand if you have other plans, though." Azinger, however, replies that it'd be her pleasure to join them, and Reinhardt leaves her to get settled in her new office. Delbrück's been lurking off to the side this whole time and he falls into step with Reinhardt again, still smirking, as he returns to his adjacent office.

Reinhardt: "What's with that look?"

Delbrück: "I think she likes you."

Reinhardt: "Oh nonsense! She's just excited about the job, you heard her."

Delbrück: "Mm-hm."

Reinhardt: "And what's that mean?"

Delbrück: "Means I've yet to meet a Fräulein so 'excited about a job,' but if that's what you'd like to tell yourself."

Reinhardt: "You're being ridiculous! I'm old enough to be her father. Um Himmels willen!"

Delbrück: "So?"

Reinhardt: "She has far more in common with you."

Delbrück: "I'm not the one she was giving that look, but whatever you'd like to tell yourself!"

Reinhardt: "She--wasn't giving any look! Stop being stupid!"

Delbrück: "All right then, she's just really interested in your camp techniques."

Reinhardt: "Oh...shut up!!"

It's obvious, though, that Azinger's presence, and her willingness to hang on every word he says, have Reinhardt flustered. He tries hard to stick to the idea that she's literally just star struck by the way he runs the camp, but has to admit to himself that her admiration is flattering, and she's awfully pretty. She gets set up in her office, gets her assignments, sets to work getting everything in order. And even though she's just one secretary, she's quite skilled at this; she's not merely a cute face and a snug jacket. (Though that sure doesn't hurt.) She joins Reinhardt and Delbrück at their suppers on site (Delbrück goes missing every few weeks, paying a visit to the brothel, though they're unaware of this), and she listens, rapt, to everything he says and laughs at every joke he makes. He has to force himself to ignore Delbrück's looks lest he get the urge to slap him. And then one day he and Azinger just happen to end up in a file room at the same time and she needs help reaching a shelf and nearly falls so he catches her and yes, you can guess what happens. Delbrück wasn't being ridiculous after all. Still, Reinhardt wonders if it's genuine or just a one-time thing. He decides to invite her back to his quarters one evening and see how it goes.

This excerpt from an adult WIP is rather more...risqué...than I prefer to post here, and I considered editing it a bit, but I guess it's PG-13 enough to share. I did make TWO edits: In the original, Reinhardt calls Azinger "Fräulein Azinger," which in my version of things is not correct, he should be calling her "Kameradin." I also changed the spelling of "Commandant" as I feel it should be spelled with a K when it's in a title. ("Kamerad Hasso" isn't accidental, earlier he asked her to call him that privately. I don't think this is standard in German but my characters often use "Herr," "Frau," etc. before a first name when they're familiar yet not intimate with each other; they use these before last names when they're not as familiar. When very close to each other (e. g., married) and talking directly to each other (i. e., not referring to each other in third person) they usually drop titles altogether. Notice for example how Inga Dobermann refers to, say, Ernst Dannecker, a formal acquaintance of her husband's, as "Herr Dannecker," to her own close friend Gunter Hesse as "Herr Gunter," and addresses her husband as just "Louis." Again, this is likely a convention of my own design, not based on fact.) Any other inaccuracies in titles are due to my own ignorance (and on what I just explained), and yeah, my version of SS members have...weird morbid conversations with each other. I mean, I figure it comes with the job.

He paused in the doorway and watched her gather papers for a moment before venturing, "Kameradin Azinger...?" She lifted her head to give him an inquisitive look. Ah God, her eyes were so beautiful and blue. "Would you like to join me tonight...? In my quarters?" He pushed down a twinge of worry that he was being too forward, and added, "It's certain to be more accommodating than a file room."

Was that overstepping? Surely he'd overstepped. He wondered a moment why he'd let himself get so rusty with women. Azinger, though, after blinking those beautiful eyes, smiled that beautiful smile--it put dimples in her round cheeks and made the corners of her eyes crinkle in a way that made his heartbeat pick up--and tapped her papers into a neat pile. Her desk was so neat and orderly, like her uniform; he had the sudden urge to sweep all the papers off it and hoist her up onto it and rip her buttons off, and had to swallow hard--why did these images keep popping into his head, he wasn't a hormonal teenager anymore. She stepped around that lovely neat desk, clasping her folder of papers to those lovely plump breasts, and crinkled those lovely blue eyes at him.

"Of course, Kamerad Kommandant. I'd love to."

The way she said I'd love to made a shiver pass over his skin; it wasn't quite proper but he offered his arm, and she looped her own through it, and they left her office. This time of the evening, the chance they'd run into any of the other guards was minimal, and even Schindel and Delbrück were busy elsewhere--Schindel keeping watch out in the yard with his stick, Delbrück gone off to do...whatever it was he decided to do every couple of weeks--so surely it wouldn't hurt to walk arm in arm for once. He peered down at her and she peered back up, giving her sweet smile and pressing a little bit closer so her breast brushed against him. Ah, God...he swallowed and walked a bit faster, Azinger following suit.

The camp was small enough that the commandant didn't have his own house, rather just personal quarters located off his main office. These had gone unused during Dannecker's tenure, the previous commandant preferring to break with regulations and return to his private home, not far outside camp grounds, every night; Reinhardt had decided to resume normal rules and order, which meant staying on camp property at night. He imagined this was easier for him, having no family to return home to, although now that Azinger had arrived, dim thoughts of being surrounded by beautiful plump little children had started forming in his mind. He blushed a little and pushed these thoughts down as rather premature; she was just an SS-Helfer, her position only temporary so far, and he had no clue what her thoughts were about settling down and starting a family, yet. There was time for such things in the future; right now they arrived at his office, and he unlocked the door and ushered her within. He then unlocked the door behind the desk, turning on the lamp, and gestured; Azinger stepped inside, peering around.

"I've never seen a commandant's personal quarters before," she murmured, rather needlessly, he felt, though he didn't mind the attempt at conversation.

"You've worked in many camps...?" he inquired.

"This is my third. And I must say, a great improvement over the others. I realize they're a necessary evil...but still. I don't like very much writing up the lists of who is to go to the gas chambers every day."

"Well...this is no issue, here," Reinhardt said, feeling a twinge of pride. "This is no death camp. I prefer to focus on keeping my inmates alive. What good is a labor camp if you keep killing off the labor?" He gestured at the windows and she peered at the view of the buildings in the distance. "Anyone who becomes too sick or weak to work, we humanely shoot in the head, and send to the crematorium. See no smoke? It doesn't run that often. Some commandants work their inmates into the ground, but what's the good of that. This is actually both cheaper and more efficient, plus the inmates are far less likely to cause trouble."

"So sensible." Azinger smiled up at him and his heartbeat picked up again.

"Ja, well...after the debacle with the previous leadership, the bar is a bit low," he admitted, not sure why he felt the need to downplay his earlier bragging.

"Come, now." She set down her folder and clasped his hands in hers, pressing them to her bosom; he had to fight not to try to dig his fingers into her. "Everything I've been told says you've done most excellent work with your camp! Decent labor, decent morale! Your guards are in top form and even your kapo seems content. No more awful, horrible Dannecker with the bodies piling up and the crematorium running all the time. We all heard the stories about him. No wonder he had a prisoner escape. A lousy commandant with poor control of his camp. Good riddance!"

Reinhardt blinked--that outburst had certainly been unexpected. "Ja, well," he said, and could think of nothing else.

"You, on the other hand..." She clasped his hands tighter against that lovely plump swell, and he swallowed. "So efficient! So well organized and kind! A commandant doesn't have to be a soulless monster, a Dannecker. You've proven this. I hope all pay attention, I hope you and your camp become the model for the rest. Such a service to the Fatherland." She lowered his hands, as well as her voice. "Kamerad Hasso...the bedroom? I think I should like to see it, right about now."

As she'd talked, her breathing had kept picking up; his had, as well. "So should I," he nearly stammered. "You...you wouldn't prefer some tea or something, first...?" he made himself ask, to be polite.

Azinger quickly shook her head. "Nein, danke...bedroom?"

"This way."

Squeezing her hand back, he gently pulled one of his free and led her through the sitting room, down a short hall, and opened a door to usher her inside. He turned on the lamp and the rather spare but functional settings were illuminated. Azinger glanced around at the bed, the bureau, the small desk, the lack of any decor.

Said Reinhardt, "I know it's likely not as much as you're used to..."

She turned back to face him. "So efficient!" she breathed, clasped his tunic, and kissed him. He blinked--this was the oddest kink he'd heard of yet, and he'd heard of quite a few...

I have to cut off there as it quickly turns no longer PG-13, heh. 😅

Anyway, it's pretty clear by now it's not just a one-time thing, and Azinger isn't just really into his "techniques," she's definitely interested in him. And Reinhardt's definitely interested in her. Yes, she's young and cute and enthusiastic but those are just the icing on the cake; she seems to genuinely admire him, and they have lots of long talks when not otherwise occupied. Her mindset is similar to his in lots of ways, and he finds his previous infatuation growing into something more. He really does imagine that a life with her, having a family, would be a good one, and it's not even a leap, they both meet all the SS criteria so surely a marriage would be approved. He never gets the chance to ask her, however, even if he'd been able to summon the courage; after some time Azinger's posting at the camp expires, and she's called to return to headquarters for a new assignment elsewhere. She delivers this news to Reinhardt quite gloomily; her disappointment is apparent, and sincere. Reinhardt sadly sees her off, wishing her well and standing in the yard with Delbrück to watch the car drive her away. Delbrück lights a cigarette, takes a draw, lets it out. Pats Reinhardt's shoulder.

Delbrück: "Other fish in the sea, Kamerad."

Reinhardt: (resigned) "Ja...yet none of them are her."

The story goes on, Reinhardt keeps running his camp. As the war draws to a head, it starts to become clear Germany is not faring so well, and ominous rumors spread from the Eastern Front that more troops may need to be mustered from the ranks of the camp guards; Reinhardt attempts to ignore these as there's nothing really he can do, anyway. More prisoners pass through the camp so it has to be enlarged to accommodate some, though this also means more people are sent away on the trains; Reinhardt doesn't like this but has no real say over it. He tries to cling to his idealism but the state of things has him growing increasingly jaded, with thoughts of wanting it to be over so he can just quit the camp and retire back to his old country estate. Sure, he'll be alone, but it's better than dealing with this all the time.

And then, seemingly out of the blue, a ray of sunshine: Azinger arrives back at the camp, suitcase in hand, bright smile on her face. She's gone through various postings in other locations; when her most recent one ended, her supervisor offered her her choice of her next assignment, since she'd done so well. Azinger requested to return to Reinhardt's camp. Her supervisor was perplexed by this, yet granted the request; and now here she is, "If you'll have me." Of course he'll have her; Reinhardt heartily welcomes her back in more ways than one. She resumes her previous role keeping camp records in order and keeping him company at night; he at last gathers the courage to awkwardly ask her to come to stay with him, for good, when the war is over, and she gives him that sunny smile that makes his heart flutter and says of course she will.

Waffen-SS officials pay the camp a visit and request that Reinhardt summon all his guards under the age of forty: Reinforcements are needed on the Eastern Front. The Waffen-SS and the SS-Totenkopfverbände are closely aligned, with the camp system frequently drawing its guards from the ranks of wounded Waffen-SS members; the obverse holds as well now, with the Waffen-SS drawing additional troops from among the camp guards. A good number of Reinhardt's guards are under forty, so he's left with a skeleton crew, although he does get a few extra from the Waffen-SS. Among those to be mustered into service, however, is his adjutant, Delbrück; Delbrück's never been in combat before so he's a little nervous, but he doesn't protest, and responds to the call. Reinhardt watches him go this time, and pushes down his feelings of worry, that the war isn't heading in the direction it should be. When Delbrück and most of his guards return some months later, not much worse for wear, these feelings only increase; Delbrück confirms his suspicions that something is up, and the "triumphant" return of these troops is concealing it. The war is practically lost, and those in command know it's just a matter of time before either the Americans or the Red Army make it into Germany; Delbrück and the others could have continued fighting, but were called back for this mock celebration, basically abandoning the regular Wehrmacht troops. (Delbrück practically burned with shame when he and the others were ordered to leave the front, the regular troops yelling about what cowards the SS were although they offered to stay.) The only way their position would be surrendered is if those in charge knew it was futile. Delbrück says the Red Army isn't there just yet, but they should be arriving in the coming months. He urges Reinhardt to make a plan to bail out the first chance he gets; he says that he sure will.

Reinhardt is dismayed by this news, but not ready to go. When news reaches them that Allied troops have in fact entered the country, he advises Azinger to return to her family and head someplace safe. She asks him to come with her, but he says he has to stay at the camp. "Maybe I'll see you after all this," he says, though he knows his chances are dim if he's captured. Realizing she can't convince him to leave his post, Azinger vows, "I'll wait for you," kisses him, and departs.

Delbrück and a handful of the guards are the next to go, after enemy troops have entered the city; Reinhardt doesn't try to stop them, and even wishes Delbrück good luck before he goes. (Delbrück runs into the camp chauffeur, Andreas Cranz, and they, Cranz's mother, the prostitute Delbrück's been seeing, and her daughter escape the city.) Reinhardt ventures into the city but gets hit by a random shot and returns to the camp, in great pain and bleeding heavily; he makes his way to the room where the loudspeaker system and other controls are located. He announces over the loudspeakers that the gate is to be left open, and he's turning off the electricity to the fences; any guards remaining are free to leave, but even more, any prisoners who are able to walk are allowed to flee as well. He's heard rumors of other camps being liberated so he assumes the same will happen here, and any prisoners too weak or sick to leave on their own will soon be rescued anyway. He turns off the microphone, shuts off electricity to the fences, and slumps to the floor to wait for the troops to show up, figuring they're likely to shoot or hang him; he's not too afraid of that, though he regrets that he won't get to spend more time with Azinger.

After a little while, as he's dozing off, he hears footsteps. He blinks his eyes open when a shadow falls over him, expecting an American soldier (if he's lucky) or a Russian soldier (if he's unlucky), which is why he's so confused to see instead Isaak Schindel, the kapo, looking down at him.

Something I actually forgot to go over while I was detailing the relationship between Reinhardt and Azinger is the relationship between Reinhardt and Schindel. It's an odd one, but just as genuine. Although he was appointed kapo by the previous commandant, Ernst Dannecker, after getting into a fight with another inmate, Schindel was also treated terribly by him; he wasn't a frequent target of Dannecker's, but the handful of times Dannecker went after him were bad, especially an incident where he forced Schindel and another prisoner, Josef Diamant, into a humiliating and degrading situation--what made that incident especially rough was that Schindel hadn't even done anything to warrant being involved, he was just there. Diamant, the true target of Dannecker's spite, is of course the one who killed him and escaped, leading to Reinhardt taking over. (Schindel witnessed the escape, and despite their enmity--he'd started targeting Diamant for beatings and harassment after the incident with Dannecker since he couldn't target Dannecker himself--Diamant left the figurative door open for him to join them, but he was too afraid to participate.) Schindel has no idea what to expect of a new commandant. The job of kapo is an especially dangerous one, as you're hated by the guards, yet you're hated even more by your fellow prisoners. You have to constantly watch your back. Schindel has a wife and child on the outside (or so he hopes) and is focused on surviving long enough to get back to them; he decides the guards are the lesser of two evils (the kapo gets a weapon, a private room, some extra food, and no beatings, improving his chances of survival), and tries hard to keep them placated, which includes sitting by and protecting the guard beaten by Franke, since he knows he'll be killed by the other prisoners, otherwise. (After he stands over the guard and threatens the approaching prisoners with his club, one of them spits at him yet they resentfully retreat.) When Reinhardt arrives in the yard and first addresses him, he's as submissive as ever, removing his cap (a requirement when interacting with the SS) and obeying everything he requests. He hopes he won't be as bad as Dannecker.

Reinhardt is a big imposing guy, so it's easy to get the wrong impression of him, yet he's not exactly cruel to the prisoners, and especially not to Schindel. He ends up relying on the kapo quite a bit, even having him run errands that aren't typical for a prisoner functionary--light work, like fetching things and people. Lest I give the wrong impression, this is not an egalitarian "friendship"--it's more like Reinhardt as a benevolent master and Schindel as a favorite slave, or a pet. Indeed, I already went over how Reinhardt assumes other races are just too mentally deficient to be on the same level, so of course he treats them almost like semi-intelligent animals. (He starts to modify this view after interacting with Tobias Schäfer, the Dobermanns' in-home physician and a former prisoner of the camp under Dannecker; he's surprised when Schäfer holds his own discussing intellectual matters with him and even appears to know more than he does, forcing him to reassess his belief that Jews are lacking in intelligence. After Lt. Hesse shuttles Schäfer away, Reinhardt asks him, "Kamerad Hesse! Who was that fascinating Jew??"--he's just so amazed.) Schindel is the one in the best position to know what's going on in the camp, so Reinhardt often turns to him for information--not outright snitching, but more to get a feel of the atmosphere. He even asks his opinions on things and makes smalltalk at him--I say "at," as Schindel, unlike Schäfer, is poorly educated, working class, and not so erudite or knowledgeable--he really IS ignorant of a lot of intellectual things, so he's not good at conversation. He's also confused why a commandant would want to chat with him rather than threaten him. So their interactions usually consist of Reinhardt doing most of the talking while Schindel listens with his head lowered and his cap in his hands, offering a "Ja, Herr Kommandant" or a "Nein, Herr Kommandant" or an "I don't know, Herr Kommandant." It's fine, though--Reinhardt just likes to talk, and Schindel listening is good enough for him. He grows quite fond of the kapo, to the point that he develops the habit of taking Schindel's cap and putting it back on his head whenever Schindel takes it off; considering that prisoners are required to remove their caps when dealing with the SS guards, Reinhardt's actions are quite a breach of etiquette, as well as very meaningful: In at least this one small thing, he considers Schindel nearly an equal, and deserving of respect.

Schindel, in turn, grows devoted to Reinhardt, mostly out of gratitude that he treats him so well. The inequality between them and the circumstances of their friendship--similar to Dr. Schäfer and Lt. Hesse, a relationship between a persecuted party and a persecutor--makes Schindel's reaction similar to Stockholm syndrome; it likely wouldn't have occurred in any other circumstances, and he and Reinhardt technically are enemies. He's so beaten down by his past treatment at Dannecker's hands and his poor relations with his fellow prisoners that the kindness Reinhardt shows him--however condescending--earns his loyalty, and he does whatever Reinhardt asks, without question.

Schindel hears Reinhardt's final message over the loudspeaker, has already seen the guards bailing out, watches the rest of them--and those prisoners who are able--flee the camp as soon as the gate opens and the electric fences turn off. He's literally free to make a run for it--but just like the last time such an opportunity presented itself, during Diamant's escape, he freezes, and can't bring himself to leave. He's gotten used to being a prisoner, and the uncertainty of the outside world is terrifying--ironic, considering how hard he's been fighting to stay alive long enough to be freed. He doesn't head for the wide-open gate. Instead he heads into the administration building, and goes looking for the control room. He finally locates it (he's passed through various parts of the building before) and tentatively enters. Finds Reinhardt here, sitting on the floor, slumped and bleeding, and hurries over to him.

Reinhardt blinks up at him and sees the kapo still wielding his club--for once, Schindel is looking down at him and he's looking up, and Schindel could very easily hit him in the head and kill him if he wanted to. Yet all that Reinhardt does is murmur, "Herr Schindel...? What are you doing here?"

Schindel sees how badly Reinhardt is wounded and tries to tend to him, though isn't sure how. He leaves temporarily to rummage through the medical building, where a few ill/injured prisoners remain, digs out antiseptic and bandages, returns, does what little he can though Reinhardt tells him it's too dangerous for him to try removing the bullet; all he can do is apply pressure to the wound. Reinhardt again asks him why he's there, tells him he has the chance to go now--doesn't he have family waiting for him? "I don't know where they are," Schindel stammers, eyes tearing up, "I don't even know if they're alive." For obvious reasons that comment stings Reinhardt a little. Further attempts to convince Schindel to leave result in him admitting he's too afraid to: "I don't remember what it's like out there, this is all I know." By now Reinhardt is growing drowsy and weak; Schindel tries to keep him awake, but he loses consciousness.

He comes to not long after at the sound of loud footsteps approaching, and immediately after, soldiers storm into the room, aiming their guns at Reinhardt and Schindel and yelling in another language. Schindel throws up his hands and panics, babbling that he can't understand, though they don't listen to him, just yell even louder. Reinhardt, on the other hand, recognizes the language--English--and is relieved that the Americans are the ones to find them, not the Russians. He's fluent in English and the soldiers are demanding their names, ranks, and serial numbers. He gives his name and rank and SS number, confirms when asked that he's the commandant of the camp, but insists Schindel can't understand and has no rank or number to give as he's a prisoner, not a Nazi. The soldiers don't immediately take his word for it as they've already come across plenty of SS officers attempting to escape while disguised as civilians or even as camp prisoners; "Cowards," Reinhardt mutters, but sticks to his story. The soldiers keep asking why a prisoner would stay behind with him rather than escape and he admits he can't answer that, he doesn't understand either. Eventually the Americans grudgingly accept that Schindel is who Reinhardt says he is--a search of the records left behind confirms that he's the kapo, which explains him being armed with a club--and he's taken away, still protesting, while another group of soldiers roughly pull Reinhardt up and take him to receive medical attention; they definitely aren't gentle about it, but at least he's still alive. So far.

While a medic is attending to his wound (sans anesthetic or painkillers), a military official visits him. Knowing he has nothing to gain from holding out, Reinhardt cooperates as best he's able. He confirms his identity and that the camp is his, and that he turned off the fences and opened the gate. He doesn't know where any of his guards ran off to as he made a deliberate point to never ask. He says there may still be prisoners who were too sick to leave the camp (the Americans have already found them). When asked why the crematorium is cold and has been cleaned out, he explains it hasn't been run in months. He asks if Schindel is being cared for and is surprised to learn Schindel has been asking after him as well; he requests the Americans to help Schindel find his family if possible. He doesn't have much useful information to offer, so he fully expects to end up on the wrong end of a rope or a gun, but the Americans persist with their interrogation in the hopes that he can provide something. He does tell them the location of SS-Totenkopfverbände administrative headquarters, where they might find more records--and he describes how to find the hidden passage leading under and away from the camp, which he and Delbrück had located some time previously. This, the SS had finally discovered, is how Josef Diamant and the others had escaped from the camp so long ago, and they'd learned of its presence from Margarethe Dannecker, whom Commandant Dannecker had once taken down there to abuse and threaten her to silence. (He claimed that down there, nobody could hear her scream.) Diamant had enlisted Gret's aid in killing her stepfather and escaping through this passage, which Dannecker himself had concealed behind a devil tapestry (Dannecker's nickname being Der Teufel, or The Devil). This confirms that Diamant, Gret, and their companions are in fact members of the resistance Diamond Network, which has worked against the Nazis ever since. Reinhardt hadn't thought he had any particularly useful info to offer the Allies, but this bit here is more illuminating than he knew, and helps ensure the safety of the remaining Network members as the Allies are taking over the city.

Reinhardt, to his surprise, is spared execution, though he is sentenced to around a decade in prison. He's brought to an old converted castle to serve his time. To his further surprise he's visited by Schindel. His joy at seeing him again is dampened once he learns his reason for being there: Schindel was able to locate his wife, alive and well with their young daughter, though both she and the rest of the old friends and family who survived the war want nothing more to do with him, due to his time spent as a kapo, a collaborator with the Nazis. He's alone and heartbroken: "I tried so hard to stay alive for them, and now they don't want me...I wish I'd died in the camp." Reinhardt is literally the only friendly face he can think of. Reinhardt tries to convince him it isn't his fault, though coming from him, he knows the words ring pretty hollow; all he can do is urge him to hold out hope, and offer a listening ear if and when Schindel needs it. He otherwise has plenty of alone time to think things over, and admits to the American military authorities who occasionally visit that, while he was wondering over the ignorance and stupidity of the "inferior" races, "I was the stupid one."

Reinhardt is eventually declared to no longer be a threat; he shows no interest in stirring up pro-Nazi sentiment or seeking out any remaining colleagues from the SS. He would honestly prefer to just return to his old family estate, though the property has since been confiscated and put to other use so it's no longer his. He serves out his full sentence and is released. On his way from the castle prison, he glances up and notices somebody standing some distance ahead. She's a little older, a little heavier, her strawberry blond hair a little darker, but there's no mistaking those crinkling blue eyes and that beaming smile. Britta Azinger indeed waited for him. After they embrace and greet each other, she explains that the world that awaits isn't kind to people like them--understandably--and while she was fortunate to find a job to support herself, she doubts he'll have the same luck. Reinhardt replies that he'll think of something. She asks him to join her and they go on a ride further into the country. They come to a stop and exit the car, looking around at the grass and trees. Reinhardt takes in a deep breath--fresh air.

Azinger: "It's not safe for you to be in the cities. Someone will always be able to track you down and know who you are."

Reinhardt: "I imagine."

Azinger: "I doubt anyone will let you have a job. I was lucky to find the one I did, save up some money just in case. I'm not sure what you'll be able to do, though."

Reinhardt: "I see no use in worrying. What will happen will happen. If it's not in my favor...well, I made my own bed."

Azinger: "Do...do you remember, back before the war ended, when you asked me to come stay with you? Once everything was over?"

Reinhardt: "Ja, I remember...what is it?"

Azinger: (gestures) "Come, this way. I want you to see something."

Reinhardt follows Azinger on a short walk through the trees and grass. A country path appears, then, at the other end, a tiny cottage. Reinhardt furrows his brow, looks quizzically at Azinger.

Azinger: "I figure you have nowhere left to stay. The money I saved up, I put it here. I know it's not really what you're used to..."

Reinhardt: (blinks) "You...you did this for me?"

Azinger: "For us, I hope." (pauses) "You asked me to come stay with you...I wondered, would it be so different if I asked you to come stay with me?"

Reinhardt: (pause) (smiles) "It wouldn't be so different at all."

Azinger smiles as well. Takes his hand--he grasps hers back--and they head for the little house together.

[Hasso Reinhardt 2022 [‎Friday, ‎December ‎16, ‎2022, ‏‎3:00:08 AM]]

[Hasso Reinhardt 2022 2 [‎Friday, ‎December ‎16, ‎2022, ‏‎3:00:18 AM]]

#artists on tumblr #ibisPaint x #SketchDaily #original characters

0 notes

imagine-straykids · 3 years

Text

★ Sincerely, Lee Know | Ver. 01

★ Summary: In an alternate universe where Lee Minho AKA Lee Know is a sassy blogger. You get to see with your very own eyes everything he documents on his blog, whether that's his thoughts on a recent movie he had just watched, his experience eating at Taco Bell for the first time, or the bitch he almost had to fight, Lee Minho will stop at nothing to get his points across.

★ Discretion: I hope it's not confusing, but this is a roleplay? I thought the idea would be fun. A lot of cursing and mature contents will be discussed, but nothing too over the top. Beware excessive cringe maybe. This is a series. Enjoy!

★ You are currently viewing: About Me

Hi, my name is Lee Know, or I guess if we're getting personal here: Lee Minho. Although I prefer Lee Know because people always get me confused with the actor Lee Minho.

I rant and complain A LOT, but I don't think I need to tell you that, because you'll be finding it out for yourself later. But I have the mouth the size of the pacific ocean, and holding back is the last thing Lee Know does. So if you're a sensitive little bitch, then do not continue any further. If you still do and proceed to come for me, then well... that's between you and god.

More about myself? Well... I'm just your average everyday guy, but better. I like to listen to music and dance on my free time. And when I'm not doing that, then I usually hang out with my crew. They can be real idiotic and sometimes I wonder why am I even putting myself through their shit, but they are the real homies. Have been with me since forever and I know they will always have my back, so watch out.

Why I started this blog? Well, funny story. I got into an argument with Chan one day, btw shoutout to @christopherbangcorner go follow and like his stuff. I know he told me to not tell anyone about his blog but I could give two shit. Anyways, we were arguing and he said to me "You run that mouth of yours so much, why don't you put it to good use for once." so here I am. So if you're interested, keep reading. If you're just coming here to hate on me, then well... that's going to be difficult because I'm quite a likable person if I say so myself. I'm just kidding... ish.

Anyways. That's that. Proceed with caution!

Sincerely, Lee Know.

★ You are currently viewing: Rants

rant #1 2:35 p.m.

I swear, hoes these days be thirsty asf. Me and Hyunjin just wanted to go to the convenience store to get some things Chan's lazy ass ordered us to, and we legit got followed the whole way there. ARE PEOPLE LITERALLY THAT JOBLESS! Leave us alone next time or don't say I didn't warn you when I whip out my asian slipper and slap every one of you so hard you're going to regret ever meeting me in this lifetime. And like, aren't you guys supposed to be in class right now? Go back, Jesus. Bet every one of y'all are failing. How would your mothers feel if she knows you're ditching class to go chase some dicks.

10,334 views | 234 comments

↓

rant #2 7:02 p.m.

Yo, I just suddenly remembered the rudest customer I ever had. So I used to work at this Boba shop during my high school days, and this motherfucker with his cupcake shaped hair jimmy neutron looking ass came in and started yelling at me for getting his order wrong. Like bro... why you tryna fight a 16 year old about a $4 drink. Chill tf out. There are children dying in Africa. Now that I think about it, 16 year old me was on some adult shit. 22 year old me now would've spit in his drink.

12,943 views | 301 comments

↓

rant #3 5:12 p.m.

Learn to wear a goddamn mask. I will not repeat myself. You ain't no Rosa Parks, you just a stupid headass. Do all these people really think they're doing sum?

9,135 views | 212 comments

★ You are currently viewing: Photos

↓

★ sincerelyleeknow has uploaded a photo!

↓

uploaded at 10:05 A.M.

It likes me, I promise.

24,352 views | 12,842 likes | 563 comments

↓

uploaded at 2:15 P.M.

Yes, we know we're hot.

30,041 views | 15,624 likes | 784 comments

★ You are currently viewing: Home

↓

★ sincerelyleeknow just posted something!

↓

posted at 3:57 P.M.

yo, wtf. people actually read the shit that I write? no offense, but are you guys like... okay?! i sorta created this blog out of spite but now I just might have to roll with it.

13,524 views | 267 comments

↓

posted at 4:43 P.M.

I'm bored and my inbox are open. Send me something. No nudes or creepy ass messages please. There's a block button and I'm not afraid to use it.

16,223 views | 304 comments

————————————————————————————————

➤ potofnoodle923 asked: dang shawty, you cute.

sincerelyleeknow replied: tell me something I don't know.

➤ anonymous asked: why are you wearing makeup? that's gay. You're not funny and all of your followers suck.

sincerelyleeknow replied: why you mad bro? I bet you sent that from your mom's basement. go out and get some sunlight my dude. bitter ass mf i know you're scared.

➤ caillou_caillou0 asked: you're cute and all but why your hair be looking crispy.

sincerelyleeknow replied: okurr caillou. at least I have hair.

➤ flowerbeauty7 asked: go out with me?

sincerelyleeknow replied: I might consider if you're paying

➤ anonymous asked: fucking traitor hoe.

sincerelyleeknow replied: ayy chill out Chan. I helped promote your blog.

➤ anonymous asked: your friend on the right of one your photo is cute or whatever. he single?

sincerelyleeknow replied: get in line, sis

————————————————————————————————

★ sincerelyleeknow just posted something!

↓

posted at 6:22 P.M.

okay well that was a fucking mistake. anyways, I'm gonna bounce now. prob answer more tmr or whenever I'm not procrastinating. some of y'all weird as fuck.

11,557 views | 242 comments

————————————————————————————————

~ Sincerely, Lee Know

72 notes · View notes

neyawrites · 3 years

Note

Hello! I hope I’m not bothering you since I sent this when you’re offline. But anyways, may I please request Nagito (x reader) fluff headcanons? Thank you!

Hey, not at all!! Thanks for requesting!!

Nagito Komaeda fluff headcanons

Desc: self explanitory

Warnings: none

Pairings: Nagito x gn!reader

A/n: I haven’t played sdr2 in forever

Oh but this takes place in Modern au (sorry if that’s not what you wanted but I feel like he wouldn’t actually wanna date during the killing game?? And cuz Monokuma would be watching you guys 24/7 so it would be a bit weird)

Nagito:

•You guys have a cat. Just getting that out there. He might feel bad if you’re allergic but he said he’d make sure you’re not by it sooo

•Nah, but he’s oblivious to the fact that cats shed a lot so you’d still be actin up and he would just be like 🤨

•If you guys live separately, he would always beg you to go to his house because he has a pool in reality it’s just a little kid pool but

•If you live together, he would almost always be found in the pool on Saturdays. Only Saturdays. You’ve probably asked him why but he just gave you a pat on the head and was like “the pool is cool” or some stupid shit

•If you two are in school, he would either call you over to help him with assignments nah not really or he would go to your house to “do work”

•He just messes with you pretty much the whole time

•He’s more silly around you because you make him more comfortable— he probably has many hidden insecurities but those vanish once he’s with you

•So except to see him a lot

•Like you’re never getting rid of him

•I hc that he has dreams of sdr2?? Like even though it didn’t happen (this is modern au remember??) he would have a recurring nightmare about it

•So at night he would, when you’re sleeping, lay really close to you and just hold you, eyes open because he’s both too afraid of watching you die in the killing game

•You mean a lot to this boy, don’t forget it

•Okay so y’all know Hanako the bathroom ghost, right? Well like him he also really loves donuts, so when you both are out somewhere and he sees a donut shop, he will practically drag you in there

•He offers to pay for you because “women/men/uhh his s/o shouldn’t pay”

•What a sweet boy

•But then he’d get irritated when he loses a large amount of money from grocery shopping

•When he’s bored he would come up to you and just peck your cheek then leave

•For no reason, too

•Like wtf

•But you like it don’t you 😏

•He probably plays the violin or flute in his spare time which sounds really beautiful

•And, preferably if you’re a pianist like I am get on my level he would be so happy! Like he would beg you to play something for him

•And when you do, his full attention goes to you— and he probably has another crush on you idk

•THIS BOY CAN COOK

•His food is probably really basic BUT I BET IT TASTEs SO GOOD

•He watches Gordon Ramsay on his free time don’t judge him

•But nahhh because his food slaps

•He likes to draw little pictures of you and him (and your cat) and hang them up in either his room or your room (if you share a room then he frames it and puts it next to his bed)

•He’s really cold; like his skin is always cold, so he always runs out of jackets so his last resort is

•You?? Even though they probably don’t fit him he WILL find a way to fit

•Because he has luck on his side, obv

•So yeah, cute boyfriend, 10/10

Another a/n: I just woke up sorry if this sucks

Tags:

#nagito komeada x reader #nagito komaeda #anime x reader #sdr2 x reader #danganronpa #uhhh #danganronpa x reader #nagito x reader #sdr2 nagito #ummm #idk what else so yeah #that’s it #nagito fluff

93 notes · View notes

waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 3 years

Text

hey so “find me” dropped on premiere and i just watched it, so you know what that means??

it’s review time!

(super rambly as usual) spoilers under the cut

before i say anything, let me say, IT’S FINE, Y’ALL. as predicted. people are gonna be dramatic bc there are daryl/leah scenes, but like...we been knew? and some of them were rly important caryl-wise. (tbh, the episode was kind of boring and just a set-up for other stuff, lmfao)

okay, review:

opening credits, which i think most of us have already seen, were cute. obvi there was some weird tension with daryl that leads to the coming-to-a-head thing at the end, but their banter is still cute af

they went fishing and daryl’s reaction to carol was adorable, and there’s an important parallel later on, so bookmark this

similarly, there’s an important parallel to carol’s “the dead catch up to us eventually”/daryl’s “i ain’t gonna let it”, so bookmark that, too

dog is the instigator for the flashbacks, so if you wanna blame anyone, blame him. he races to the cabin, which for some reason daryl, who spent five years in this forest, seemed surprised to see? didn’t you literally map out that whole area, my dude? whatever

cue flashback!

i might have the scene order mixed up, but i think it starts with daryl being all sad by himself, and then dog as a puppy shows up and he’s like “!!! a dog!!!” which is v cute, and then he runs back off. we don’t meet leah yet

we see carol and daryl having a conversation while standing on opposite sides of a river for no reason except to probably symbolize distance or maybe covid, lol. the conversation basically goes:

carol: things are different

daryl: yeah

carol: how long are you gonna be out here?

daryl: -shrug emoji-

carol: i get why you’re out here, and i’d join you if things weren’t...

daryl: different

carol: yeah

daryl: yeah. anyway, it’s gonna rain, and also i’m having emotions, so ttyl

the end

at some point we see daryl sitting with an extremely unhappy face while it pours rain on him in the dark, and i want that as a reaction gif IMMEDIATELY

also the rain destroys his “where in the world is rick grimes?” map, which makes him v upset and scream-y, and we get the idea that he might be going a bit bonkers being all alone looking for a dead (or, ig, kidnapped by helicopter) man

in present day carol finds the note, and is like “oh dunk, she lived here??” so she knew about leah, and daryl’s like, “i already told you everything,” and carol’s like, “no you didn’t,” so we go back to flashbacks (but i’m still not sure what parts carol didn’t already know?? whatever, it’s not that important)

i’m just gonna hit the highlights of the flashbacks bc they were not that thrilling:

first time daryl meets leah the dog leads him to her cabin, and leah ties him to a chair and holds a gun to his head being like, “what are you doing on my land?” bc apparently you can claim whole forests during the apocalypse, and daryl says very little, and eventually she lets him go

next time dog finds daryl and he brings her back and leah is like, “the dog likes you” and they’re kinda flirty, and then daryl says very little and leaves

next time daryl is surrounded by walkers and leah shows up and helps and they hide in a tree and are awkwardly close to each other and daryl cannot handle the close physical contact so when the walkers pass he says very little except to tell her to never come back again, lmfao

the next flashback is my favorite bc daryl just fucking

goes to leah’s cabin and throws a fish at the door???

i laughed for ten years

he throws a fucking fish and then stands there for a minute like “is she gonna notice that i gave her a fish??” like, no, dumbass, you didn’t even knock, you just threw a fucking fish at her fucking door, what is wrong with you??

no wonder it’s taken him and carol so long if he thinks throwing fish at people is a smooth move. boy has NO fucking game

anyway, leah gets him back by finding him and throwing the fish at his head, being like, “wtf, don’t throw fish on my porch?” which, fair, leah

IMPORTANT CARYL PARALLEL (from here on out known as “caryllels”) #1: so earlier i mentioned the carol fish thing, and apparently the same thing happened with leah, where she speared a fish on her first try and daryl was like “tf?” v blatant “we are supposed to be thinking about carol and daryl’s relationship during this scene” sort of thing

leah’s backstory is bland. had a family, they got eaten or disappeared or something. she, her adopted son, and dog’s mom got away, but the kid was bit, and died the same day dog was born, bc ig when god closes one door, he replaces your dead son with a puppy, or however the idiom goes

ONLY PART THAT GOT ME LEGIT EMOTIONAL:

leah asked daryl who he lost, and he says, “my brother”

asklfdjaslfdjskl

god i miss rick

i hated rick for so long and now i miss him so much

but i digress

IMPORTANT CARYLLEL #2: leah and daryl have the same “the dead get you eventually”/”i ain’t gonna let it” conversation as caryl had earlier, only daryl is playing the role of carol in this scenario, so again we’re supposed to be comparing the two relationships. lemme get through the rest of the summary and then i’ll tell you my opinion on what that means

fuck what even happens next?

i have these out of order bc they were all the fucking same, but the two of them get closer, and there is the vaguest suggestion of sex ever. you literally only see daryl’s hand

then jump-cut to them sitting at the table being emo, ig bc daryl was gonna go back to look for rick for a bit, and leah is like “who do you belong with? your brother you won’t stop looking for? your family that you left? [side note: that seemed rather pointed, like, “hey hoe, you abandoned your family, that was kind of a dick move”] or me?” and he says he doesn’t know, and she’s like “yeah you do, now choose”

jump-cut to caryl scene where carol finds him at the river and says that she won’t be visiting as much, and daryl’s like “k” and they have a brief argument where daryl’s all snippy, like, “what? do you want my permission for you to move on with your life? i’m not still emo about the fact that you’re moving on with your life, and i also don’t think it’s contextually significant that every time you show up in my flashbacks you explicitly mention that you’re married and have a kid,” and carol is like, “bro, you need to Get Your Shit Together and come home”

jump-cut to daryl having what i’m assuming is an epiphany that carol/fam have all moved on while he was out being emo, and so he decides to go be with leah, except, plot twist! she’s gone. the picture of her and her son is gone, but dog is still there. daryl leaves the note, which says, “i belong with you, find me”

for those freaking out about the wording about the note, may i remind you that she specifically asked, “do you belong x, x, or with me?” so he was just answering the question

aaaaaand back to present day

carol is like, “what do you think happened to her?” and daryl is all -shrug emoji-, and then she’s like, “...do you think she might have just...you know...left?” and daryl gets rull offended, which was kind of funny

(she probably just left, bud)

carol tells daryl to stop thinking that when people leave it’s bc of him, and connie’s name gets thrown into the mix, and daryl gets a “oh here we fucking go” look on his face, and it sets him off

he said basically what we were already spoiled for. “you just want to run, you don’t know when to stop, i shouldn’t have taken you off the boat bc you still just want to run” etc

and carol looks fucking HEARTBROKEN, which hurt me, and she goes into the other room and we end the episode with daryl staring forlornly out of the window

the end

okay

so quick analysis

i think the significance of this episode is supposed to be so we have an understanding of why daryl is suddenly so !teamfamily, and !teamfuture, and how badly he wants carol to be there with him. at one point, one of them even says, “this isn’t about leah, or connie,” or anyone but the two of them. the title “find me” feels significant, bc the whole episode is daryl grappling with where he’s supposed to go, and what his purpose is, and by the end, he says to carol, “i know where i belong,” (implying, with her and the fam), pulling us full-circle. in the first flashback onward he is lost, but by the end he is found -cue amazing grace-

daryl and leah were flirty, but to me it felt very much like something that was just being used as daryl character development. we barely got anything that juicy between the two of them (except the fish throwing thing, that was amazing), and i still don’t think that it would make any sense, regardless of the showrunner, to pair daryl up with some rando after having so many other choices that people would have preferred. i don’t think we’re meant to #endgame ship it, so much as we are supposed to be like, “oh, ok, daryl learned the power of family and stability and leveled up, -you know what that is? growth gif-” as a result, i literally have no idea what leah’s role is gonna be in s11, but i don’t think it’ll be a huge plot point

so now we firmly know where daryl stands. he is all about moving forward, not looking back, and doing the best he can, and he’s frustrated bc when he took carol off the boat he wanted her to be in the same place as him so that they could grow together, but she wasn’t and isn’t there yet

so my guess is that what’s next for carol’s storyline is her reaching that same zen-level daryl’s at

once they’re both there, then they get to ride off into the sunset and make passionate love under the moon casting shadows over the vast desert wasteland

whew

anyway

tl;dr: idk, episode was fine, if not kinda boring. lots of caryllels. can i go back to writing my vietnam war au now?

the end

(stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k21),

-diz

#thank god i can move on with my life now #caryl #caryl spoilers #twd s10 spoiler #dunlap tp

97 notes · View notes

nikrangdan · 4 years

Text

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

232 notes · View notes

a-libra-writes · 4 years

Note

who do you think would prefer an s/o who’s charming, more of a people person, using their words to get what they want vs an s/o who’s more quiet, strategic, and plans and schemes to get what they want? is it a case of opposites attract, or would they want someone to compliment them? 👀

.......so i ended up having a lot of thoughts about this LOL

okay so i think this depends on the s/o’s morals! like you can be scheming to help others instead of hurting them. so let’s go with that bc i dont wanna brainstorm a low ethics/morality s/o (this makes me think of 7KPP, a fantastic visual novel that’s the only decent Court Drama Simulator vn i’ve come across). Also there’s a loooot of characters so imma just list the ones I have Strong Thoughts on and sort them by region oh lord what have you done my dork is showing

Northbois

So while I feel like Robb and Ned would prefer a more outgoing and charming sort of person ... I really can’t help but ship them with someone whose more cunning and can actually play the game of thrones. Like lord someone help these Starks because their intrigue score is 0 and they need someone protecting them from Tywin, Roose and Walder LOL. I can really see both father and son thinking their s/o is this sweet thing and not having a clue of how much scheming they’re actually doing to protect Winterfell... Ned would probs catch on after a while but Robb would just be blinded by love and devotion haha.

Sansa would probs want the first ideally, but as she gets older she’d greatly appreciate someone who has that sort of cunning and uses it for good purposes. Also she’d like a calm and steady personality to rely on.

Jory is a straight up honest guy to a fault, kinda like Ned, so he’d also prefer the first type of person and appreciate them more.

OKAY SO you’d think Roose would go for the second type but HEAR ME OUT. I think he’d go for both equally, or a mix of the two. Listen. I have a strong HC that he would be very attracted to someone who is his opposite in many ways - outgoing, charming, sweet and kind. If that person also happens to be cunning as hell and willing to manipulate anyone - even him - to protect what’s their’s, oof. He’s gone. I think he’d really get off on the idea of having an s/o who everyone is shocked he’s involved with bc “omg they’re sooo nice” and only he really knows their “other side”, so to speak. Realtalk I don’t think he’d go for someone just as morally awful as him bc he’d see them more as a threat than a potential partner.

Ramsay is a little shit that would also be attracted to the first kind of person but honestly needs the second type to keep his ass in line. That’s the sort of person who would figure him out and manipulate him accordingly so he isn’t skinning the goddamn neighbors. Also he wouldn’t give a damn about their morals so go off i guess just dont start any revolts in the north

VERY Northbois

Jon really doesn’t care for schemes, even if he acknowledges they’re useful, and he’d be attracted to someone who knows just what to say and is charismatic bc lord knows he’s struggled w that for a bit. Benjen really loves outgoing, charming and talkative peeps esp when they wiggle their way out of stuff or convince the upper command of the Watch to consider a different plan. He’ll be soooo attracted to that. Edd is kinda meh on both I’d feel? Like he’d prefer a quieter person but not a scheming sort, that’s too troublesome to deal with. I think he could come around to the first one eventually.

Mance super respects the second type, he finds it very attractive actually, especially when they start manipulating him into something and he catches them. Tormund is a dork and prefers outgoing people, totally doesn’t notice when he’s being taken in lol. He rlly hates the second sort of person, sees them as snakes.

Southbois

Edmure would absolutely be drawn to a gregarious and outgoing person! And if they can talk their way into or out of things thank god bc fishboy has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I really don’t think it’d work out with a schemer person bc of that Tully honor, and unlike Ned or Robb, Edmure would start to catch on (I don’t buy into the show characterization of Edmure like frack that he’s not an idiot). Brynden has a lot of experience and has seen a lot of BS, so he’d understand the risks and sacrifices his s/o would be making when they’re playing the game, and he’d really wish they wouldn’t!! Like yeah it’s to protect their family and friends but he wishes they didn’t have to do that. He wants to protect them on his own.

Brienne REALLY prefers someone whose honest and can talk their way in and out of things!! Like the Starks she’s very honorable and has no patience for lies and manipulating even if it’s for something good. It’d take a lot for her to trust and be attracted to that kind of person, they’d have to like... be very honest with her about what their plans are and why they’re doing them.

Kingslanding bois

oh lord Stannis okay so INITIALLY he’d be put off by both personalities for diff reasons - outgoing because socializing and diplomacy is something he just sucks at and the second one because holy hell he hates dishonesty and scheming. Now, he can admire a strategic and collected mind, but as soon as dishonorable plots roll in he starts side-eyeing. I think it would take some time for that latter personality to gain his trust, and if this is like... his wife we’re talking about, she’d probs have to scheme behind his back, even if it’s for his own sake. For an outgoing person, he could eventually befriend or fall for them once some common ground is found. He wouldn’t be able to admit how much he admires their people skills haha.

Davos understands that sometimes manipulating and scheming is needed and can be used for good, but personally he prefers a more diplomatic, out in the open approach. So the first type is def his kinda person. He could still befriend the second type as long as they’re not assholes, though.

Tywin would honestly work with both sides of the spectrum and in between, but ultimately, you’d have to understand who you’re dealing with. There’s no honor or high ground being involved with Tywin Lannister, and the s/o should expect to get dragged into his schemes, esp when he trusts them ... and that’s no easy feat. Ultimately it’s less of how you get what you want and more of ... what are you willing to do to get it. Pesky morals and all that.

Tyrion has had enough of his dad’s bullshit that he’d only be romantically involved with the first type, someone who uses sass and flattery like he does. He can still respect and befriend a more cunning person, though. Jaime also prefers the first type, he thinks it’s just because “oh I like outgoing and forward people” and not...”i’ve spent years dealing with lies and schemes from father and cersei”, yanno that old chestnut. Bronn definitely prefers gregarious and cheeky peeps, schemes go over his head and bore him.

Sandor dislikes both sorts of personalities for different reasons ... He’s offput by someone who would be very talkative and outgoing with him (like why are they talking to him wtf), and he also hates scheming and lying and all that, he’s seen too much of it. The first type has a better chance of befriending and getting close to him, the second not so much.

Petyr very much respects and admires both but like ... you know he’d prefer someone that he thinks he can outwit and manipulate, so probably more of the first type of personality because they seem less cunning and more of “just” a people person. Given his obsessive/yandere tendencies he probably wouldn’t notice he was being taken in by someone friendly and kind.

like okay weird thing to think about but just consider this... I really wonder what it’d be like if Robert had an s/o like the first one you mentioned. Not Cersei, certainly not his beloved Lyanna - a third party, a gracious and likeable queen that kinda makes up for his faults and she’s TRYING hard as hell. like idk if they’d ever fall in love but like idk i feel like his depression would be slightly lessened to have a partner that’s very beloved and tries to help him and put him in a good light in his subject’s minds. Am I making sense? She’s not perfect but she wants what’s best for the realm and if she’s gotta do it herself she will. IDK sorry this is a tangent, i think about major change AUs and their political consequences a lot

Heckin south n east bois

Margaery is a Big Gay and you can’t fight me on this, you will lose. She’s super attracted to the first kind of gal bc that’s def how she is herself! So she’d love to play those little word games with them. The second personality type she’d just write off as “eh quiet person” but once she got closer and began to realize their cunning and wittiness she’d def take an interest, esp if she found out about some good things they did. Then it’d be a classic “outgoing babe dating more reserved babe” and yall both would be VERY well-known in court. absolute power couple

Oberyn likes both equally! Especially if your motives are to help others and/or save your friends and family. He loves that kinda loyalty and he really admires someone who has a way with words and schemes in equal measure. Hell he does both himself. He might lean more toward an outgoing person just because that’s how he is too.

idk where to put Beric but he rlly likes the first kind of people!! He’d probs ask you to get supplies or money on the Brotherhood’s behalf, and he actually kinda likes it when he finds himself doing something you wanted cause you asked so nicely or talked him into it ..... Thoros calls him a simp and it’s true ok don’t bully he can’t help it

& lastly Essosssss

So, I think Daenerys would be a lot more drawn to the second kinda person. First of all: Very mysterious, ooh. Secondly, she’d appreciate a cool head that will tell her the truth and is willing to do more unsavory things bc they believe in her so much. Obvs she would need someone with unquestionable loyalty, and once she tests and is reassured of that loyalty, then she could start some kinda romance. She’s def attracted to someone who can get shit done that way.

Jorah is a big opposite in that he’s kinda had to do that unsavory stuff himself and is still ashamed by it, and generally doesn’t trust people like Littlefinger and Varys and Illyrio, etc so he’d prefer someone who is just genuine and talks their way out of things. Also yall know him he can’t resist once he starts liking someone like cmon

Grey Worm is absolutely in the first camp too but for diff reasons! Scheming and all that shit just makes him nervous and he distrusts it, even if it’s for Daenerys’ sake. He just wouldn’t associate with the person ... Someone more outgoing would definitely fluster him more but at least he could feel like he could trust them. Missandei can go either way - she knows the power in both diplomacy and manipulation, and would likely admire and be pulled to someone who uses both to help people.

sorry i got so wordy and a bit repetitive lol both are like, my fav kinda character archtypes, esp for court settings.

#libra says #libra says A LOT OF SHIT LOL oops #yall can send in stuff like this anytime idgaf its interesting #libra headcanons #got x reader #got imagines #game of thrones x reader

75 notes · View notes

kiara-carrera · 3 years

Note

not a question, but this is a free ticket to talk about cher

under the cut because i rambled <3

soft soft soft

ignore the following bad attempt at one of those aesthetic descriptions

cher is just like chapstick kisses, layered necklaces and multiple rings, tiffany's jewelry, homecoming queen, girl next door, 2000s y2k inspired fashion, the she's a full on monet quote from clueless, a mashup of cher and tai from clueless, helen shivers from ikwydls pageant queen vibes, typical cheerleader from 2000s movies but like...not as bitchy, sweet with a mean streak, 16 years old and completely bored of her life (sarah bubblewrap cameron vibes tbh), a little bit of betty a little bit of veronica none of the riverdale murder musical maple mothman nonsense, butterfly hair clips, bright colored scrunchies, milkshakes after football games

my little romantic heart eyed baby

big bubbly handwriting, probably dots her i’s with little hearts

kinda sorta want to make her into art or photography but idk yet

loves cheerleading, loves dragging her friends to games

(kiara would always make a big deal about how she didn't want to go and that cher was forcing her but in reality kiara lived for friday night football games when cher was cheering)

kie not really liking any of sarah and cher's friends and always preferring when it was just the three of them (she'd never tell a soul how she really truly preferred when it was just her and cher)

most of my chase content comes from genera+ion but cher doesn't have the white streaks that chase does on the show

cher sorta being the exception to sarah’s whole “people get close i push them away” thing

idk wtf topper's mom does for a living, but considering they called her doctor thornton, @s-s-southsideserpentine was like she's prob a therapist or psychologist or something like that so

cher leaving anonymous bad reviews online for her aunt's practice etc anytime she mildly inconveniences her

the holdens are wholesome, the thorntons can choke

honest to god, sarah was probably the only one in their friend group picking up on the vibes between cher and kie, the other nameless kook girls i have to make up are just like,,,oblivious

love love loves mainstream radio pop music

kiara made her a playlist of old marley songs and other music that she vibes with to expose cher to things outside of her little music bubble

both of them having a bracelet from the other during their friendship and secretly still wearing it after the fact

anytime the boys see kie and cher interact before they reconcile it's just the three of them being like "...that interaction was super fucking weird right?"

midsummers is just the two of them secretly being heart eyes over the other while also being mad that they're being heart eyes because it's like hey!!! no!!! we're mad at them!!!

kinda sorta exes kinda sorta the vibes of having an intense friendship with another girl and being completely and utterly wrecked and heartbroken when it ends and not understanding why

literally i am prepared to serve the storyline that sarah and kie should have had there was nothing platonic about the whole "you liked me" conversation i'm sorry there just wasn't

miscommunication trope jealousy trope bitter sorta ex gf trope

cher in her little green convertible vw bug daydreaming about running john b over because he looked a little too close with kie that one time

her dad's a lawyer, she knows the law baby

cher's parents not fully understanding why she isn't friends with kie anymore because yeah what teenager fully explains shit but anyways cher's mom is a lil sad because she loved kie

alternatively, kie's parents miss cher because they thought she was a good influence (she was not, but she knows how to please parents)

cherry by fletcher, supercut by lorde, curious by hayley kiyoko, strangers by halsey

the sour album but specifically drivers license

(does cher drive past kie’s house sometimes??????? mayhaps)

kie and cher having tons of pictures together before the demise of their relationship

cher clips her pictures on her fairy lights and there’s just a lot of glaringly empty spots now

cher and kie both having a whole bunch of the other’s stuff at their house that they shove into their closets

makes sure to convince her hotshot lawyer dad not to represent ward cameron because he's the absolute worst

wishes she had a camera to forever capture the look on ward cameron's face when her dad tells him to fuck off (they weren't besties or anything but there was def a level of friendship and cher's dad just immediately cuts him loose because he trusts his daughter and we love that)

sarah making sure john b texts cher that they're alive too and cher's gonna have to live that moment alone lololololol cue the dramatic facetime to kie jj and pope

cher needs better friends, the pogues will be her better friends

cher cutting off her kook friend group after the john b/sarah death thing because she has had it with the false narratives

the camerons purposefully banning cher from whatever little funeral/memorial thing they do for sarah is like a fucking knife to the chest

#asks #cheryl holden #thank you for asking #made my lil heart happy #hope tag

3 notes · View notes

talkingbl · 3 years

Text

The Good and Bad of Tonhon Chonlatee

SPOILER WARNING. TW: rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment

The Good:

Characterization of supporting characters (especially Na and Aunt Nam)

Chon's general characterization as a self-identified gay man who is not toxically masculine or misogynistic and generally not judgmental. His brief arc with the unnamed nail technician and former sex worker is incredibly well-done for a Thai BL

Following the previous point, the nail technician character was treated decently well in this story. The fact that she was a bigger lady was never a point of repulsion for Chon (instead, he was more concerned that she was a woman and he's a gay virgin)

Characters who openly identify as non-straight and not just male characters who say "he's the only guy I'll ever like" (Na)

Parent-child conflict that isn't inherently about child's sexuality (Ton and his dad--technically it's about having a grandchild)

No real filler episodes, everything generally served the plot and there weren't any one-off 'let's go to the beach/camping' episodes

Male lead (Chon) shows physical attraction toward love interest (Ton) on multiple occasions

Ton and Chon's actors (Podd and Khaotung) have a somewhat understated but definitely present and persistent chemistry. Podd has the same look that Bright Vachirawit and Pond Naravit have opposite their co-leads Win Metawin and Phuwin Tangsakyuen. He just looks at Khaotung like he's the most interesting person in the room

For a man who just came to terms with being in love with another man, Ton is surprisingly open about his relationship with Chon and, once he confesses, not once does he second-guess his feelings for Chon

Charming story with an extremely charismatic cast of actors outside of a few

Mike Chinarrat. He's just so good at the comedic yet serious when he needs to be style of acting. It brought a lot to the show in terms of good acting

The Bad

Multiple characters are either raped, implied to have been raped, sexually assaulted, and/or sexually harassed with no actual repercussions for the attackers and/or exploration of the emotional trauma victims experience as a result. Under this one, Ai and Ni sexually assault Chon (played for laughs), Neung is implied to have been raped (NEVER addressed), and Chon kisses Ton without his consent (glossed over). I'm sure there's more instances too but yeah...

Ton is just....what the fuck is his character? One second he's bashing gay people and FORCING his male "childhood love" to lose his virginity (to a woman at that), the next he's confessing how he's known all along that his childhood love is, indeed, in love with him and that he feels the same way. They use the excuse of him having to live up to his parent's expectations despite the fact that it makes 0 sense if you think about it longer than a second

Casual colorism in the casting ONCE AGAIN. Nearly everyone who is portrayed as a bad/unsavory character is visibly darker than our "heros"

Same tired ex-girlfriend is an evil mastermind trying to break up our boys for no good reason trope

Ton's dad's character was not well flushed out. We think he's homophobic but actually he's anti-anything not straight and cis but then, no, actually he just wants his son to give him an heir but then all the characters claim that he hates gay people again and it's just like wtf? Is he homophobic, transphobic, tolerant unless it doesn't serve his goal of having grandchildren, all of the above, none of the above, just what? They go back on his characterization so much that I don't actually know what his biases are and which groups he's against/not against

Ton is dense as fuck to the point where it's a bit unrealistic..

The casual outing and forced outing of multiple gay characters by Baipai, Ai and Ni. Baipai outs Ai and Ni at the end, which leads to a Ai and Ni nearly being evicted from their home. And, again, Ai and Ni out Chon through SEXUAL ASSAULT.

Characters being made to apologize for their sexualities and occupations on multiple occasions. Off the top of my head I can think of: Ai, Ni, and Miriam apologizing to Ton's dad at the end for "negatively influencing" Ton to be interested in men

On that note, Ton not speaking up in that moment and telling his father that he's allegedly loved Chon since he was a child and that Ai, Ni, and Miriam didn't "change" him kind of annoyed me. That would've shut Ton's dad up quickly but he NEVER said anything about it

The or unexplained plot devices that need explanation. For example, how the hell did those bed pictures get leaked? How did Amp get the pictures she sent to Ton's dad? These questions need answers lol

Miriam's absolutely horribly unbelievable "pregnancy belly" that was just a sack of laundry stuffed into a dress

Most of the acting was just okay..supporting characters generally had better acting than our leads

Baipai's character. I just could not stand her. I even preferred Amp over her because at least Amp contributed to the plot

Speaking of the plot, the dumbass jealously plots have got to stop. They are so boring and repetitive. I'll admit that Tonhon Chonlatee pulled it off better than other series, but there was still so much they could have explored with the two compelling leads other than "let's make Ton jealous for 2 episodes"

The (lack of) kisses. The physical intimacy in this show was so stale it might as well have been a Chinese bromance censored by the CCP. Every kiss they either diverted the camera or had the actors do that weird tightly pursed lip smashing thing where neither person actually even opens their mouth for the kiss. Yet at the same time they showed a straight kiss 100%. I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this if it was rated G or something or even if the actors just weren't comfortable yet, but Podd has had better makeout scenes in other shows, and in 2gether Mike and Toptap actually have on-screen kisses

Even though I credited Tonhon Chonlatee for having an openly pansexual character (Na), they still had one of our main characters (Ton) claim to "only like Chon and no other men." Apparently you can be straight and like a guy as long as he's the only guy you currently like I guess.

#tonhon chonlatee #tonchon podd khao #poddkhao bl boys love #thai bl thai drama #mike chinarrat toptap

7 notes · View notes

alligaytorswamp · 3 years

Note

yellow , green , blue, turquoise , onyx , fuchsia , cream , mauve ( also genshin) & plum B)))

hey hi hello >:)

green: do you have a favourite flower?

nah i dont differentiate them.. every flower is just a flower to me jkhasjkdhkj...

if the flower is purple it gets extra points tho

blue: preferred type of weather?

rain!!! thunderstorms!!! <333

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

penguins or turtles :p

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

nope, never did

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have a helix one but it got fucked up.. so it looks weird :(

would love to fix it one day.. or maybe get rid of it completely hhh

no tattoos but i want some yes heheeheh

some longer answers will be under the cut jkahdsjkad

plum: a food you've never tried

oi.. dats like a lot of things... ;;

well I've never had anything "Chinese"/"Mexican"/idk what else people mention in a similar manner... i hear English-speaking folks refer to these.. "types" and yep never had any of that. also like.. any food chains that just don't exist in Russia? obv nope......... there is probably an insane amount of stuff I haven't tried, I'm picky and literally just eat at home 99% of the time so-

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

gonna give a dumb ass answer but... i can't...? i don't really know how much one should be "appreciated", like what is the "right amount" and whether or not this person receives it. the amount of notes/likes doesn't always represent that and also i don't look there at all.. also this one random artist can have multiple accs on different platforms with different engagements and all that... so how do i really know what's up with them? and once again i don't think i sit around thinking Damn this person needs more likes !! .. i just like/rb whatever i want and it's epic lashdjlksajdlk also i'm not sure if i have strong attachments to certain creators.. (at this point that is. i used to and some of it backfired lmao) ... the only attachments i have r ppl i'm friends with which is U Know... considered the right answer to this question and an adequate person would do just that but damn none of yall getting a free promo wtf 🙄 and i feel like mentioning one friend could lead to upsetting another or like .. i could just forget to tag someone... or I would waste time trying to figure out if it would be ok to mention them in an ask like this one and probably would decide against it anyways just not to bother anybody ....

and is getting tagged in a post saying u r underappreciated even a compliment? because i for one am not too sure about that........... much to think about uh huh

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

we entered danger zone.................... beware :з

uhhh well first of all I think childe x zhongli is like the most pathetic and boring "default" pairing this fandom came up with. they have 0 chemistry and I just hate everything about it. as much as I headcanon both as queers... together romantically it feels like 2 straight men put together by ya*i fans............ also before i blacklisted to ship and voluntarily looked through the ship tag... every post felt like a hard ooc. i could not understand what childe or zhongli are supposed to be as individuals, what they have in common, what kind of dynamic they have. deadass most crack ships with 0 interactions have more flavor than this tragedy

eng VAs are great people and appreciate their work but whoever decides the voices ain't doing it right. every male character sounds like a middle-aged white man.. and most of the youngest characters sound like very obvious adults trying to pretend to be babies. all of it irks me so bad god.. and there are so many characters that lose their little spark in eng........ (yet in korean and chinese they're completely fine??)

all of the playable adult male characters are shitty people in one way or another. none of them are good. they have reasons and different perspectives, yes, but they suck. every single one of them. stop ignoring it or trying to say only some are evil. none of them are inherently terrible.. but they're not these precious and righteous individuals. they're men.................... that says a lot, actually. :\

and as for women? god i hate the idea that they're all so uninteresting and weak. lichrally just a bunch of girlbosses, morals of most could be questioned as well... anyways some of the girls not having extremely dramatic stories doesn't make them any less cool. let them be

also all archons suck it's ok. you can still love them while acknowledging that they've done some shit. ALSO stop demonizing venti .. and now baal, while praising zhongli- he's an old loser stop lying to yourself. i hate when people present him as the only good archon, the voice of reason who is just so cool and collected but also ahh so cutely silly about mora !!!............. bitch the story quest of liyue is just one zhongli-is-a-fucking-moron campaign idk did yall skip it or something............ and even then it's ok to like him, he does have his logic/reasons/beliefs that justify his actions... he is not a good guy or archon tho.

shipping archons/adepti/whatever the fuck that isn't a basic human with a basic human is super weird. i mean the power dynamic will be completely fucked and ages? lord almighty... basically mortals should stay with mortals... the rest goes to baby jail except maybe ganyu she's a good girl

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk what else.................

maybe.. ahha... well.............. with how people hype up any vague new character that is leaked and declare how they will skip every banner ever for them - even tho all we know is... how the character looks like? it feels a bit too much. like truly what's the point of going crazy and then screaming at mihoyo every 3 seconds over some character that could be fake for all we know, or maybe they'll be a support you don't need, or they have a weapon you don't like to use.... can't you just wait till we get official info? jesus lawd- but regardless.......................... where is the same energy for baizhu :)

the man is literally in the game and people manage to forget him even in conversations about dendro specifically- how the fuck is that even real-

thanks for watching everybody don't forget to subscribe smash that like button and hit the notification bell ^_^

#now this is a lot adlaksjdlk #SORRY #also thank u ahjskadhdjskahdjksahdkj #ask adry #rottfestt #ask game

5 notes · View notes

botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years

Note

P-please talk about your Rito OC, please... ramble without any context, please... I have one too... please make me feel less alone...

Ok ok let me just *unloads all of Illeka’s super angsty self-indulgent backstory*

I technically have two backstories, one for botw that I’m gonna use for my fic Where Time Takes Us, and another I use for my dnd campaign. My dnd one is more fleshed out (thanks to my amazing GM) so I’ll probably just share that one.

Warning for super duper long post that is barely coherent and I haven’t checked for typos and also rip to ADHD folks because I have no pictures to ease your brain with. Anyhow prepare for like thousands of words worth of rambles this is not edited at all

This is just a copy paste of the random incoherent shit I sent to my poor DM. Anyhow, I technically have 3 ocs here, but Illeka is the one I play

A weird Rito, that one is. I hear they’ve only cried at birth...

- Illeka was born on the Day of Living Fire, its a celebration of the dead essentially, where you mourn and remember your loved ones and ancestors and all that. It’s superstition to be *born* on this day, because your life/creation takes away from the day that’s supposed to honor the dead, and some people on birb island believe these things, that if you let the kid live it’s a curse. But most people are like no wtf you boomers it’s fine there’s no such thing you crazy old people are weird, which to be fair is kinda true.

- When Talako is around 6, his single mom dies. He’s adopted by a new family, Kala (also around 6 years old) and her parents.

- Illeka meets Talako after he kinda follows her around, because he’s an innocent cinnamon bun that admires Illeka’s calm and stoic demeanor after they help him with some bullies. Through this, Talako, Illeka, and Kala all become best friends.

- The events in Illeka’s life aren’t really helping their whole curse case. Every bad event, from their dad getting injured and having the slightest limp, to their brother, Zekk nearly setting himself on fire— it’s all a supposed punishment for not killing them when they were bored. But at this point most people brush it off as coincidence, besides, nothing THAT bad has happened yet.

- the trio of friends grow strong, becoming some of the best in their arts on the island. And their relationship is seemingly adorable. The serious ~~cursed~~ one, the optimistic sunshine one, and the sarcastic firey one. Prides of their village, set to protect their people from harm.

- Illeka is the best in the village when it comes to physical fights. Trusty halberd, and a keen shot with a bow, they’ve never lost a sparring match on that front. Their personality is offputting to some, there’s a rumour that they’ve never cried. The easiest of jokes, and the vilest of insults don’t spark much reaction from them— except in the presence and topic of their family, Kala, and Talako. But otherwise, the story goes that the cursed kid doesn’t have a soul, and hence, no morality or emotions.

- When they train with Talako and Kala, they never back down, if only out of respect, Illeka wouldn’t want to embarrass them with pity. Talako always laughs at his inevitable defeat, though he tries nonetheless. He promises that one day he’ll be strong enough to beat them.

- Talako is a pleasant soul, but has an nack for adventure and a hint of chaos. He prefers to dual wield daggers, and on occasion a short sword or two. He’s great with the blade, loves the thrill of the fight, but is more skilled with cooking and physical healing and remedies. He’s always the one encouraging fun celebratory hang outs at the tavern, with his two closest friends after a day of guarding the village. Kala always sides with him, and Illeka typical gives in after at least putting on a show of reluctance. He humble and happy and loved by most of the village, if only things would last

- Kala is of wit and cunning, she’s typically the first to speak. She’s headstrong and not afraid to insult whoever she displeases, and a bit too arrogant in her abilities. She laughs at all of Talako’s jokes, if perhaps only to spite Illeka’s groans. She’s also the most strategic of her friends, being the “one with a plan” in battle. While she’s a decent wield of two khopesh, Kala’s mostly gifted with magic. She’s got a knack for conjuring, though is well researched in other types as well. Illeka and her are an even match, with decent win ratios on either end. Illeka doesn’t take it that personally, they suck/hate magic after all. Kala’s a bit more competitive tho.. While her power in magic is certainly the best on all of the island, she can’t help but feel salty/jealous for always being overshadowed by Illeka’s feats, since the people prefer/understand the physical over the magic.

- Oh, and she was born on day after the Day of Living Fire, according to her parents. How lucky.

- In a sense, they’re all a bit of an outcast. Kala the fiery independent one, a bit sidecasted for prefering magic over steel. Talako the weird orphan, for being a chirpy, happy boi, which is a bit annoying for some. And Illeka…well lets just say their situation isn’t going to be improving

- One year, Illeka’s family is expecting more kids, twin sisters at that! It’s the most excited anyone’s ever seen Illeka, thought perhaps that’s not the right word… They’ve still got their usual demeanor, but they did spend nearly a week crocheting little baby hats and tunics and scarves. They threatened to kill their brother if they told anyone, although Zekk was allowed to let it slip to Tal and Kala

- [They are absurdly good at crochet btw. They never do it anymore to try and maintain their “reputation,” but their family will never forget the time they crafted matching blankets and hats to win a little competition in their home town.]

- Then the Day of Living Fire arrives for that year. Theres a little celebration for Illeka’s birthday, before moving on to other activities.

- The twins die that night.

- The village was in a bit of shock…and rumours grow considering the timing of it. The mysterious circumstance of it…well it does turn the heads of even some of the less-superstitious. The rumours, the death, the silent thought that perhaps that cursed bird caused some babies’ death, Illeka endured it.

- Years later would it get worse.

- Illeka is still publically respected at this point, weird rumours sure, but try telling that to the edge of her halberd. Their mother had made the twin’s shrine, but they say Illeka didn’t visit that often. Talako was always by their side, trying to help them, which was always appreciated, even when they tried to hide it.

- Kala was busy in the library these days.

- Zekk had started a family by now, a little baby birb named Mili hatched into the world. Illeka would often steal her away for little cuddles when they (thought) no one was looking. Zekk would jest that they had to fight for the right to hold his own kid. Kala would also occasionally tease them about it, though Tal was mostly happy to see them in better spirits

- Then, another Day of Living Fire.

- Talako and Illeka were usually on guard duty together, the northern patrol by the village edge. But tal was still a bit worried about his friend’s state of mind, he’s not sure he’d even seen them mourn. He pushes for Illeka to take the day off, it’s technically their birthday after all, plus they can pay their respected at the shrines and attend the festivities and do the ceremonies and all that. Illeka denies it, brushing it off like they always do.

- Soon, their nightly patrol begins, and Illeka is about to set off to met up with Talako, but Kala intercepts. She has a talk with them, similar to that of Talako’s, but with…more well crafted and laced words. It’s nearly the same message that Talako tried to tell them, “It’ll be healthy for you, visit the shrines, be with your family, maybe brush off some rumours in the process.” Illeka nearly denies again, joking that Talako would get afraid of the dark if they didn’t show up. But Kala interjects, stating that she’s already made plans to take the patrol that nigth with Tal. Trusting their friends to be safe in each others care, Illeka relents and takes the day off.

- …yeah. so

- perhaps you can see where this is going.

- Kala’s jealousy had been growing over the years. Not only was she being shadowed by Illeka and their non magic ways, but it was irritating even more that all the talk about magic in the town was not of her exceptional abilties, but of stupid rumours and non-existent evil curses. If the people wanted show, she’d give them a show

- This mindset made her spars with Illeka a bit more personal as of late, getting it in her head that she needed to get stronger, strong enough to best Illeka with ease. Strong enough so that there would be no question who was the best warrior on the island, magic, bows, halberds, or no.

- The library had many forgotten books that she had been studying. Conjuring, rituals, illusions, necromancy. It was all…beautiful. Kala soaked in every word, sometimes berating the bookkeeper offhandedly for not keeping them in the best condition

- In her research she eventually found a beast. A..thing, a demon? A monster, the specifics weren’t there, but the gist of it was, if you had the courage to summon it, it would grant you the knowledge for attaining anything you desired. All it asked in return was…to eat some people.

- But not just any people mind you! Supposedly the ritual only worked for the people with the greatest of ambitions, willing to sacrifice the lives of people they might care about. The sacrifices had to be of someone with great trust and bond with the person.

- Kala’s parents disappeared that day, a few feathers laid about, but there was no blood.

- Near the northern border, by a open field, a weird circle dripped the grass red

- Talako waited by the village edge, ready to fly off with their patrol partner when they arrived. When Kala greeted him, he was a bit surprised, but happy when she explained that Illeka had gone off back to town.

- Indeed Illeka was with their family now, as the sun started to set. Occasionally, a passerby would give them a weird glance before walking swiftly away.

- Somewhere in the northern border, a warrior is knocked unconcious, and dragged upon a blood red pattern

- Illeka is by her sisters’ shrine. For the sliver of a moment, they contemplate crying.

- Then an explosion is heard off in the distance

- Talako was wide awake at this point, although his wings being pinned to his sides wasn’t that helpful considering there was a giant, *giant* dark monster in front of him.

- Kala lets off a final remark, saying it was for his own good. The death would be swifter if he didn’t squirm.

- He whipped back at her, glaring with a fire she hasn’t seen before. He calls her a coward for tricking Illeka, a coward for kill their parents, a coward for not even giving him the decency to fight for his life.

- She nearly smiles at the last remark. “Fine.” She tosses him his blades. “You were never much of a warrior anyway.”

- Illeka was flying towards the booming sound at full speed, nearly knocking over their family and other mourning, people in the process. A few others had tried to slow them down, claiming they should suit of better first, before confronting whatever had been the source of the explosion. Illeka didn’t listen.

- They barely had time to grab a weapon, before approaching the northern border. After gracing the crests of the hill tops, they finally saw it. A giant demonic beast, snapping it’s jaws against a flying dash of black feathers, Talako.

- Illeka called out to him, nearly dashing off into the air again, but they stopped when they spotted Kala, standing idlely by next to her.

- Before they could even speak, before they could even question why she was acting so nonchalantly while their best friend was fighting for their life against an evil monstrosity, Kala shook her head and spoke. “You always have to ruin my fun, don’t you?” She struck a magic blow and Illeka, square in the chest.

- It knocked them to the ground, but they got up, setting their halberd and pointing it at them.

- Then insert some dramatic scene where Kala is like “you’re so selfish, hogging all the attention, thinking you’re better than me, but today I’m gonna finally best you mwahaha” and Illeka is like “wtf why did you do this? I thought we were friends? I trusted you?? the fuck? also talako is our friend!!?” and then its “yeah thats right I manipulated your stupid feelings to gain the upperhand. you’re super pathetic honestly for falling for it. anyhow yeah talako will probably die, i tried to give him the luxary of a swift death but he wouldn’t listen, so now he’s probably gonna get brutally slayed lol” and illeka is all “I’ll kill you” and kala is “no u. This whole thing is gonna give me so much power no ones gonna question me again” and then they fight each other

- The duel is nearly a draw, Kala’s magical ability is certainly is certainly stronger, but she’s not as all powerful without that knowledge from the demon monster guy that needs to eat his meal. Illeka is fighting with all theyve got, but all they brought was a halberd, but they are very fueled by rage and spite so it’s still an even match. Illeka eventually lands a blow that’s got Kala bleeding severely, but Kala pretty much almost kills them with a direct attack. Kala’s too weak to finish the job, plus those other guards have finally started to fly and approach in the distance, so she flys off. Illeka finally slips into unconsciousness.

- When they wake up, it’s almost sunrise. Their mom is shaking them awake, part of the party that was investigating the explosion that summoned the beast. Illeka bolts up, they’re still in the field were they had fought Kala, but she and the beast are no where to be seen.

- They run off, trying to find Talako, and ho boy do they find him alright. His body is crumpled by some rocks, his wing nearly ripped clean off, theres so much blood, even a warrior like Illeka can hardly bare it. Some small bit of hope in their head thinks that he might still be alive, and they listen to his chest to see if he’s still breathing.

- His eyes flicker once at Illeka, his chest rises, then falls for the last time.

- Illeka cries.

- Then, still pretty wounded and tired, they collapse again

- The days following are living hell. Kala hasn’t been found, and their her parent’s [bodies]. The rumours are creeping as ever, at the coincidence of Illeka and this disaster. They spend nearly a weak in bed at home, recovering physically, thought probably not mentally.

- As soon as they’ve fully recovered, Illeka’s mind is set. They are going to leave, no more warrior/village protection for them. They’re going to travel far off, train and hone their skills in combat, and find and kill Kala.

- Their family is opposed to this at first, but in the end nothing they say changes Illeka’s mind.

- In a sense, there was another, unspoken reason Illeka was leaving the islands. They didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

- Hell, the rhetoric is even stronger down the line, concerning the fate of poor Mili. Illeka has given in and accepted it, they are cursed to cause pain to the people they care about. [It’s basically that trope of the character isn’t actually cursed but they believe they’re cursed] Illeka will stay away, and go it alone for as long as they can. Then once the deed is done, once they draw Kala’s corpse across the mud, they’ll probably fly off somewhere far to die, before anyone else gets hurt. It’s probably best for their family never to see them again.

- - - - - -

Wow you did it, you made it through the super angsty self-indulgent backstory congrats. Illeka is my lil baby and I love them and I’ve gonna send them on a revenge quest and then they were gonna have a cool character arc probably about learning to grieve and have self worth and all that and to actually allow themselves to show emotions for once in their lives. That’s the general plan I had in my head anyhow

But you know what my dm thought?

They were like how about mORE ANGSt

Fucking shit you not, session three of the campaign, I’m heading back to birb island because of circumstances, and I’m getting supplies from my blacksmith dad and showing off this sword that says “fuck” a lot that I got from a dungeon that took a selkie’s soul which they gave up willingly in exchange for fire hair...long story

but THEN I meet up with my bro Zekk and it’s like “wassup bro just passing through” but then I find out that Talako’s shrine thing was DESTORYED by some unknown entity and that’s very not good because spirituality and all that

and also I find Mili and they’re a cute lil toddler birb now aww it’s so great hope nothing happens to them because I sure do have enough emotional traume to burden right now. anyhow due to CIRCUMSTANCES our only lead to the thing that destroyed Talako’s shrine is 1) a delinquent named Chesio [that our party nicknamed cherrio because the GM misspelled it the first time i think] who apparently was Talako’s shitty cousin and his only living relative who could build his shrine and 2) the destruction of the shrine lines up with a period of time where Mili went missing but its ok she came back so her parents were like “chill we gucci”

Our party decides we should go down the Mili lead [because I accidentally knocked Cherrio i mean Chesio to near death with a crit roll with my halberd so they’re in the infirmary now but it’s really not my fault that they triggered my emotional trauma by mentioning how I keep running away from grief and never staying around to confront it it’s fiiiiiiiiiiiiine] so we stop by Zekk’s house and we’re like “hey so remember when you disappeared for like a week where did you go, and then mili was like “oh it’s in this cavern that no one knows about and I can’t really give you the directions but I can lead you there if you take me with you” in which I then glare at the GM for this obvious attempt to force us to take Mili with us to put her in danger and apparently I was the ONLY one who cared about this because everyone else in the party was ready to adopt this birb child, and Zekk was like “sure take the kiddy harness” so here I am, watching my niece run around in a kiddy harness that’s also attached to me, while my Chaotic neutral party someone gets grilled cheese sandwiches in the background

Badabing, badaboom, we come to some crystal caverns. while I, being one of the only members of the party with morals other than one chaotic good dragonborn, am watching the selkie, halfoot, and elf girl steal a bunch of crystals, Mili fucking DISAPPEARS the fucking KIDDY HARNESS fucking NOT GOOD she FCUKING SLIPPED OUT AND SHES GONE AND IM FREAKING OUT

after about an hour or two of searching through the deeper parts of the cavern and tunnel and also fighting a minotaur and discovering an abandoned arena and a cleric, long story. We find Mili fucking laying on A NECROMANCER’S RITUAL CIRCLE WHAT THE FU-

I pull a “I don’t hesitate bitch” on the hooded dude that’s hovering and chanting shit. He’s dead, it’s all swell. Saved the day, the evil’s dead. Mili’s fine she can go back to being a cute lil baby who loves shiny rocks and-

oh wAIT actually Mili is still transformed into a demonic monster and the necromancer dude was actually in the middle of completing a ritual to bring her back to life after he killed her a few times

So turns out, necromancer dead dude was hired by a mysterious someone, to steal something from Talako’s shrine, and to destroy any evidence. Turns out, his methodology for doing so was to kidnap some birb kid who had the misfortune of wander too close, killing them, turning them into some demonic monster that does their bidding, using that monster to steal and ruin some shit, and then when the day’s done he turns them back like nothing happened. Sure do wish he was alive to redo that last part

I’m freaking out, the party’s freaking out, that sword from earlier is cursing to high heaven for no apparent reason. Cleric unhelpfully remarks how it was a bad idea that we impulsively killed the evil dude bro, yes wow thank you for the help

Eventually everything’s fine. After a few round of shouting “NO ONE TOUCH MY FUCKING NIECE OR YOU DIE” after said demonic niece is kinda mindlessly attacking everyone, we eventually do some good ol blunt force trauma and a bit of magic and BOOM. Mili’s back. Although they do have permanent black ritual markings on them but its fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinee (its not)

We find a note on necromancer dude bro that his employer was from another island, so that’s a lead yay Find Out Next SessionTM but at this point I really don’t care as I’ve already started tying Mili to my chest and walking back to the village

I go back to Zekk’s house, hand off Mili, explain everything that happened, give a super heart feel apology about how I pretty much killed Mili (even though I really didn’t but also as we all know Illeka is an angsty birb who’s steadfast in the idea that their existence hurts everyone they love so yay <3) and then I leave as fast as I can before anyone can protest sure was nice visiting my family after i’ve been away for a few months sure am glad that my inner thoughts about staying away weren’t justified whatsoever hmmmmmm

A session or two passes. We try to assassinate and elf’s evil parents and fail, we get into a Fake Dating Being Someone’s Children Au with a dragon. The selkie keeps trying to date everyone, even thought they’re already married to a necromancer princess and a boat (long story) and inbetween we head to that island that note i got was talking about and turns out it was to a place where all your inner demons and anxieties manifest into reality and taunt you, until youre slowly broken down to the point where the evil dictator on the island can “magic” away your problems with puppet strings. fun for the whole family!

Anyways, after our party fights out evil neon-blue clones, I get a lead from dictator dude that the employer I’m looking for is a Rito that’s good with magic, and was last seen headed east, in the same direction we just came from. fun.a

So I’m kinda low on leads, other than the fact that theres a magic school in the east, but in between we have to deal with the fact that husboat (again, the boat that is married to the selkie who is also our entire party’s form of transportation across the ocean. wait a sec did I mention that we weren’t in Hyrule? We’re not in Hyrule, this is a flooded land with a bunch of islands. Think wind waker) was being chased by pirates. also these pirates were the ones that raised the selkie, and also they kinda also slaughtered an entire island of halffoots in their time with the pirates, and also that island was the one that the halffoot in our party grew up in. So basically that’s some cool tension and drama. Anyhow, back to moi

One talk about how “no we cannot kidnap aNOTHER priest” to the selkie and elf later... magic school! Magic school is pretentious and I hate it. Everythings glowy, they don’t allow you to fly over the gates. There’s puffy noble middle aged men and children in bedazzled cloaks. There’s magic in the air and I swear I would choke and die on the glitter and rainbows of it all.

Half the party is off getting into cloak fashion, I head off with my dragonborn friend Ness because highfive! We’re the only one’s with morals in this party! Morality pals! (This is saying something considering I am true neutral and she’s chaotic good but we might as well be clerics in this party...)

My morality pal and I and hanging around, then we catch word that there’s this transfer student that no one has seen in a while and “oh I wonder where she could be” and all that jazz from other students. Mortality pals are like “ok let’s go look for her” so we drag the rest of the party off of their larceny spree and look around.

Eventually, after I spot a tattered cloak roaming the halls that matches the description of the gossip, we find the transfer student.

TURNS OUT (unsurprisingly honestly given the way the dm framed stuff) this transfer student is someone I know. She’s standing there, in the middle of the room, preparing to do some ritual or something. She’s standing there, my life purpose, my one and only goal, literally the only reason I’m still going in life, my arch nemesis, my target, my mortal fucking enemy. It’s Kala.

Ness sees a demon dog in the background and says hi, ruining our element of surprise, but to be fair, she doesn’t know it’s Kala.

Kala whips around from her table thing. We make eye contact. Her face suddenly shift from confusion to surprise to bewilderment to shock to happiness.

Happiness.

“Illeka I thought you were dead!” Kala runs towards me, but I’m too shocked to move.

She’s smiling. It’s not sadistic, it’s not...harmful, it’s just genuine joy. For a moment I thought I saw a tear in her eye.

Kala hugs me for a long moment, before letting go. “So how did you survive?”

...

In my head I’m thinking, “oh you fuck face”

THE. AUDACITY. OF. THIS. BITCH.

“HOWD I SURVIVE” UH NO THANKS TO YOU FOR ALMOST KILLING ME FOR YOUR STUPID RITUAL WHATEVER THAT KILLED TALAKO WTFFF

ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO PULL THE SAME TRICK AGAIN??? GONNA PRETEND TO BE ALL SENTIMENTAL AND NICE JUST TO TRY AND KILL ME LATER ON? HA OK OK

how about instead, I do the one good thing, the one worthwhile thing I can do in my entire life...just one simple course of action that might hope to make up for the mountain of regret that is my entire existence.

I am finally going to kill you.

Kala’s staring at me, eyes curious, head tilted as if all she ever did was ask what I had for brunch.

I blink once, and my neutral expression, faintly coated with shock morphs into determination.

I roll for initiative.

- - - - - -

It’s 1am.

So have a cliffhanger, kinda.

If anyone bothers to read this far, congrats! Your reward is me being lazy. I’ll tell you what happened sometime tomorrow if anyone really wants to know :P Long story short, it doesn’t end how I, and therefore probably you, would except.

#haha brain go- shamelessly talk about Illeka for 3 thousand words #i actually dont know the word count i didnt check i think it's 4k??#the thing i copy pasted is like 2k and the campaign stuff i added is....idk #not botw kinda #rito oc #kinda #dnd #kip talks for too long #i'd write this better but its 1am #good luck if you can actually read this

20 notes · View notes

bourgeoishellion · 4 years

Text

I rant about a manga I read

I’ve been crying over +A no Tachiichi by Geni Yuu for the past few...hours. That’s actually quite a few literal hours I’m talking about, and I will never divulge the exact number because at this point it’s a long tantrum.

I love this manga, and I will stand by it till the end of time. I reread it with tears in my eyes and sobbed even harder the second and third time. So, listen to the synopsis:

Satoki Houma is an imaginative girl who enjoys shoujo manga. She has long comes to terms with the fact she will never be the type of girl that is the heroine of a manga purely because she isn't pretty, and she has decided she prefers to watch events unfold rather that get involved in any case. However, in the perfect shoujo manga twist, one day she gets dragged to an alternate world where the people have summoned a Holy Maiden to save them! Except so did her classmate, Haruka Toudou, who fits the exact model of a Shoujo Protagonist. Naturally, Satoki is overlooked for Haruka except it's not Haruka who has the powers of the Holy Maiden they wished for. What will Satoki do!?

Okay. It actually sounds pretty basic, cliche, and it’s the summary I tend to think, oh. . . one of those. Boring, but maybe it’ll surprise me.

I’ve been reading too many of the same kind of isekai manga lately, the overpowered and overly justified protagonist has been getting old. But this...

This is exactly what I’ve been looking for for ages.

Obvious spoilers for the ending, which is all I’m really going to rant about because I need to get this cry out or else I’m never moving on with my life...

So, Spoiler Alert: Satoki ends up returning to her own world.

That was one of the things I was looking for in an isekai. And I’ve never been more sad to have found such a perfect manga that could grant me this.

Satoki finds out that while she has stronger powers than Haruka (due to her imagination), she has a more limited fountain of power to draw from. So she can create all these fantastical, marvelous weapons, but Haruka can only create what others imagine (or something like that. It’s later explained she can also utilize this thing called memory, but what even is that? lol).

However, the more she creates, the less “mana” she has, and it can’t replenish itself.

Haruka, on the other hand, as the true Holy Maiden, has an unlimited source of mana.

So, in the end, Satoki really wasn’t the Holy Maiden. She really did trip into this other world. The Priestess tells her that the only thing keeping her in the world is the mana she has, and that once it runs out, she’ll return to her own world.

And this is great news, really! Satoki has always been left out, always been just a little less important, hasn’t made so many good friends that she would overlook the pros of going back home, nor does she believe she would leave a lasting impact on the minds of everyone she met in the story. So, overall, the fact she can go back home is a positive!

Right.

Right!?!?

NONONONONONONnodnONAFNSLDL;KJ.

Sorry, I’ll try to be a little less shaky from now on...

See, she ends up with enough mana to create a useless small thing, so the “final battle” has to be fought alongside Haruka, so that with Satoki’s imagination and Haruka’s unlimited power they can defeat the enemy!

It’s a great plan. Satoki has been forced to pretend to be the Voice of God for a while now, so she even has the important minor role of declaring Haruka the Holy Maiden (it’s a whole thing).

After declaring Haruka “The One,” mid-battle, while they are still being attacked by both a bloodthirsty demon king and a power-hungry prince AT THE SAME TIME, Satoki decides to peace out.

And it makes a lot of sense. She does tend to be surrounded by blunders, she really should take the opportunity to leave while she still can! So she has a wonderful goodbye scene with Haruka and gives her a paper mache sword that is shiny (which is all she can do with the power she has left).

That was wonderful. Great moment. Now, just wait for whatever will take her home to take her hom-WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HARUKA IS NOT THE ONLY TEARFUL GOODBYE YOU HAD TO GIVE!

But of course, Satoki is a fucking idiot, she couldn’t have realized that, yes, other people wanted to say goodbye to her! They would have loved to have a moment to talk to her, to say their farewell, thank her- ugh.

So, the mage Miva and the fake Maiden Luce are obviously who I’m talking about here.

I fell in love with Luce the moment she appeared in the manga (relatively late) because she was so obviously taken with Satoki. While everyone often had something/someone more important than Satoki (even Haruka was more preoccupied with her love life), Luce made it clear that Satoki was important to her!

Sure, she was taking the minimal (it was actually pretty big though!) risk by taking Satoki’s side against the prince, but it was for her! She was important to her! She and Satoki were friends through and through.

But the dumbass thought that Luce was just taken with how much of a pretty boy Miva was. Oh yeah, she’s totally into the stupid mage she just stared down and not totally loyal to you.

And Miva. Oh, Miva...

Lemme just...rehash what happened from the moment Satoki summoned that stupid paper mache sword.

She said goodbye to Haruka and they did the friend thing.

And then Miva grabbed her shoulder, because she just did something stupid. He straight up asks, “Why did you make such a weird decision!?”

And we have to respect that, for once in this miserable joke of a journey, she made a fucking choice of her own volition, no advice, no suggestions, she chose this herself. She thought it through and decided...hey. This is when I want to go.

So, Miva is obviously a little messed up here. Satoki is leaving. Like, right the fuck now. She didn’t tell anyone she was going to do this, and now there’s no turning back!

Before the battle, Miva had told her that he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her something. But now, there’s no god damn time, she’s on the verge of leaving forever.

And Miva is trying his damnedest to talk to her but...they’re in the middle of a fucking war.

The Prince orders their arrest and death or whatever, so they have to dodge that shit.

And as they do, Luce drags Satoki down to the floor and let’s her know she is the worst best friend in the history of best friends because What the fuck? “You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye? Was I the only one who thought we were friends?”

And what a time to find out your friend is your friend (even though its been obvious from the first chapter she appeared in and even though she has told you several times in direct fashion that you should be more decisive for your own good, which is something only your friends have done, ugh-)

Anyway, Luce and Satoki get a somewhat half-assed goodbye, but it’s still nice. For the last time, Luce tells her to grow a spine and not depreciate herself.

Miva comes back, and he has something to say. But oohhh, look, the king is over there, Satoki has to know if he’s on their side or naw even though she shouldn’t care, she’s not staying long enough for it to matter!

Miva does a quick explanation but “Anyway, [he] has something to tell [her]!” but oh wait, demon king is throwing shit at them now, fucking duck. Miva saves her life with magic and time is running short, honestly, it’s kind of amazing Satoki is still here at all. How much lag does this magic have?

Satoki’s worried about the ongoing battle around her, but Miva grabs her arm and pulls her in.

“Wait...WAIT!!!” Please, Satoki, just- hear him out, please...

He let’s her know in too many words that this whole speaking mess is a mess because she chose such a stupid time to go home! I just...lemme write this out, okay, his dialogue fucking kills me...

“It’ll be fine, just listen to me!! Look! It’s because you’re trying to go home at a time like this that things keep getting in the way! We can’t even talk like this! Properly!”

“Talk?” she asks (YES TALK).

He has hold of her arm, and he pulls her in to TALK PROPERLY but.

Her arm...disappears. Her hand is gone. She’s going. He’s out of time.

He stared at the spot where her hand is supposed to be while she says the stupidest thing, “Oh, you’re right! I’m sorry, I forgot to thank you properly...”

The silly mask she was wearing to speak in public cracks and breaks apart, which confuses her.

“...We really...don’t have any more time to talk now, do we?”

Why is she so worried about her mask, why can’t she look at his face? He looks so fucking devastated, and it’s actually the most emotion we’ve seen on his face since chapter one, listen to him.

“I never said anything because I didn’t want you to become spoiled and dependent on me,” a justifiable fear, but it’s hitting hard, “but you’ve really worked hard. More than enough-” She has, maybe he should have had more faith in her, however, he probably did everything just right.

An explosion behind them. Battle’s still going as he speaks, she’s obviously not paying attention.

“Well...your work...” he says.

It’s always been about her “duty” when they speak, they’ve never spoken about anything else.

The knight wants to step up to fight the demon dick, and Satoki is worried about that obviously bad idea, and she yells at him not to do that. She is not. Listening. He’s still talking...

“...your work...isn’t what’s important...” She’s not listening.

“What? Oh no, Roswald-san, you can’t! You have to-” She’s not listening.

“...what is important...” She’s not listening.

“I’m telling you not to go!” She’s not even part of the same conversation.

Miva looks on, obviously giving up on telling her anything. There’s too much going on. She’s so easily distracted. Her hand is gone, she’s disappearing for good, and she’s not even paying attention to him.

“Satoki,” he puts his hand on her head. She finally looks at him, she finally listens. He smiles at her for the first time. “You did well.”

“MAS-”

And then she’s in her school hallways, absolutely alone.

“-ter. You smiled...”

She’s back. She meets up with her normal high school friends again.

The End.

This fucking killed me. This is actively killing me, right now. It’s so fucking unfair. Miva and Luce deserved so much better, but Satoki never even thought about them. God dammit.

This calls for another hour of sobbing uncontrollably. There’s absolutely nothing else after this. We left mid-battle, Miva had the saddest farewell and even Satoki admits that was an unsatisfying way to end things, but I expected it. I was expecting it to end like this ever since we found out she could go home, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

This is just the sort of protagonist she is, it was done so well, and it sucks...

This is actually it. The End. She has the manga in her hands, so she probably knows how things sort of ended up for Haruka and maybe even Miva and Luce, but we don’t. We don’t even get to know what Miva really wanted to tell her, though I have a guess...

Satoki is just a bit more decisive, but is otherwise unchanged and has returned to her world. Miva and Luce never got to see her again.

I know for sure that if they could have chosen who of the two “Holy Maidens” they would have preferred stay, Haruka would not have been their choice. And that makes me so sad.

The worst part is, there really is no reason it would have been better for Satoki to stay. This is actually the best possible outcome. I just wish...they’d had more time.

This is an unpopular manga. It’s been read by few people, and many of the people who read it were disappointed in the story because it had a premise that implied the cliche, yet it ended so. Anticlimactically.

So, there really is nothing after this. Not even fan content, it’s so short and unknown I think there’s actually only two fanfictions (one in spanish, another a crossover, neither what I need right now), no fanart, no doujinshis, nothing. It’s over. It’s done. It was perfect, the. End.

It’s exactly how it was supposed to end.

I’m so sad.

I’m probably going to draw something tomorrow. Maybe I’ll start and never finish a fanfiction. Maybe I’ll just let it go.

#The End #+a no tachiichi #+alpha no tachiichi #isekai manga #sad #sobbing #rant #spoiler alert #ending #my eyes are swollen #and red #Miva #Luce #Satoki #they deserved better #satoki is an idiot #stupid stupid stupid

26 notes · View notes