#I probably should have told you guys

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

[bloomingsalma]

i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in

[n0bluev]

@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔

[watermelinoe]

my niece once got upset w my dad bc he wouldn't buy her some overpriced drunk elephant skincare product. she was freaked out about getting wrinkles. at age eight. i wish her mom had never bought her that damn smartphone

[binch-i-might-be]

also my most useless coworker got into light trouble today because she didn't listen to me. felt good <3

[dormiloncito]

alright i'll finally check what this is all about

[a9saga]

I can't believe the entire cast of big brother agrees not to use slurs while in the house and in the first week of the show this absolute quack drops the n word in front of a black houseguest after talking about a different black houseguest and gets ejected before the first eviction

[starlightswait]

i am!! annoyed but in a way that makes me want to fucking cry!

[bmpmp3]

and unfortunately i am like the equivalent of one of those true crime girlies but like, with white collar crime and corporate scandals. except instead of getting paranoid about random people minding their own business being serial killers coming for me, i just keep telling every tall skinny whiteboy friend about how much financial crime they could get away with if they put on the right posture and confidence.

[technofinch]

i Gotta know the deal with mulligan and jameson, specifically the faked resume thing

akljhfalkjgd OKAY SO the original recap of that & related situations is available here but i can give you the deal with Specifically Jameson

EDIT: okay this ended up longer than i thought sowwy

so we stopped on this planet, right, to drop off some cargo or whatever bc we're space truckers. and there were some ppl protesting bc their governor Fucking Sucked. like, murdering people and replacing them with androids level bad. but Weyland-Yutani likes the governor, bc he's a shill, so they're willing to pay us to take him off the planet. they don't really care where he ends up, as long as it's Not Here (this should have been the first red flag).

We go to visit the governor. He's holed up in an old mansion with exactly one (1) guard, who is Some Guy with a shotgun. We'll call him Jameson, because that's his name. Mulligan tries awkwardly to bond with Jameson over sports as we convince him to let us into the house to talk to the governor.

Eventually we get in & talk to the governor, he's willing to pay us a bunch of cash to take him off planet. Excellent. While he leaves to get his stuff together the rest of us poke around in his old mansion. We find a secret basement full of human bones. This Should Have Been The Second Red Flag. Karina, our biologist, steals a pelvis.

We leave the planet and head towards wherever we were gonna go to drop off the governor. It doesn't matter, because we get interrupted by a distress signal. We go check out the distress signal, leaving Jameson and the governor alone on our ship with the first mate/engineer/boatswain, Jack.

While the rest of the crew is Dealing With the distress signal situation, our psychologist Miranda tries to check in with out ship and gets Silence. She is, understandably, distressed by this and takes the expeditionary vehicle we used to go planetside to Return To Our Ship. Leaving The Rest Of Us Stranded.

When she got back to our ship, it turned out that the governor was actually an android and had sabotaged it, cutting the power and such. Jack was trying desperately to get everything back in order, and Jameson was trying to kill the governor.

After that we very quickly dealt with the ship we were helping and got back on board the Ophelia. Mulligan & the marine, Reed, went down into the engineering sector to find the governor. Which we did. He was bleeding slightly and holding an unconscious Jameson, about to dump him out the trash chute. Into space. Apparently, the governor (and the distress beacon) were a Test from our lovely parent company weyland-yutani :) a test that were were currently failing. Partially because Reed was pointing a gun at the governor.

Mulligan ordered Reed to stand down (& let the android kill Jameson). Reed, understandably, didn't want Jameson to die & refused. We were still failing the test. Luckily Miranda was listening in on comms & saved the day by talking down the governor, telling it that we could just arrest & imprison Jameson the normal way instead of extra-judiciously killing him. This pleased all parties and we managed to fly away safely.

With the governor shut down in "cryosleep," Reese (our medic) took the liberty of faking Jameson's death and giving him a new identity. When we arrived at the next colony, Jameson used that fake identity (including work history) that Reese made for him to apply for a permanent position on our ship. Mulligan shut him down immediately and handed his resume off to whoever was in charge of the cargo/docking situation on the colony where we landed, getting him a job there and leaving him behind. (We may have also left behind a xenomorph egg. It's literally fine don't even worry about it)

After this we found ourselves in Various Other Situations that led to us attempting to wipe our memories, fake our deaths, steal our ship, and flee to the other side of the galaxy. Immediately after this it is revealed to Mulligan that Jameson is his biological child and that Reese, Jack, and Reed knew the whole time. Reed is also able to reveal that Jameson had a very bad childhood due to very obviously being a bastard child.

After that Miranda started campaigning to get Mulligan neutered. So far Jameson hasn't shown up again, and we haven't found any more of Mulligan's kids, but the gm confirmed that there are 12 in total so odds are there'll be more of them popping up :3

Anyway. That's the story of Mulligan, World's Shittiest Dad, and the Anti-Nepotism Hire.

[ajarofpickledtears]

bitches will have their flat broken into or get murdered some day just bc as soon as people tell me something about having to check on something and they also have like tablets or whatever my trust in people's goodness and fear of confrontation kicks in so I will let them in, answer questions, make small talk, and only think about the fucking stupidity and recklessness later

[mycological-mariner]

Beautiful thing happened today: the guy doing headshots had these brilliant nautical tattoos and I, a known ship nerd, pointed them out and said I thought they were brilliant. And he launched into how for 12 years he worked on a tall ship at one point as the captain. He got all excited telling me about it and asked if I was working on any ships. I said no, but I’d love to, have wanted to ever since I was a kid; he asks if I know so-and-so, to call him and even just being a passenger will get you credit with skippers. And at this point I’m grinning and laughing and I really want to talk more about sailing and historical stuff with this guy. He goes “Right tilt your head this way, you wanna look warm and approachable yet tough for any skippers!” Probably the best headshots I’ll ever get, those smiles were sincere. Then he recommended me his favourite book - its 700 pages and it’s 300 years of historical fiction called “We, The Drowned” which I’m checking out asap because it sounds brilliant

[karinyosa]

being trans with ocd is so fucking exhausting dude

[effervescent-fool]

hey maybe. you shouldnt confess having a crush on your friend who you know has been in a committed relationship for over two years. maybe thats not. a thing you should do