#I probably understand colors a bit better than I did then? but I feel like the ~~aesthetics~~~ is the same lmao

[b4kuch1n]

The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to have total power over a single life.

[lovebugism]

Spoooooky request, what if the gang went to a haunted house and everyone made fun of reader for being scared, but Steve holds her hand and walks with her 👻

thanks for requesting angel! i switched it up a bit and did a sort of second part to this fic! you def don't have to read it but it'll give some context :D — you're still getting used to the world post-vecna, but it's easier with steve holding your hand

fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

The haunted house off Fifth Street looks strangely familiar. Two stories, faded cornflower paint job, boarded up windows. It looks like a dollhouse from hell. It looks like the goddamn Creel House. It’s like some kind of sick joke.

It didn’t take Hawkins very long to recover from last spring. Mostly because it was just an earthquake to everyone else. No one died, nothing was ruined beyond repair. To the rest of the town, it was just a minor natural disaster — an inconvenience more than anything.

No one knows that a thirteen-year-old girl killed the monster trying to end the world. No one knows that the local freak nearly died saving a bunch of teenagers. No one knows that one song, one heavy metal guitar, and one good memory just narrowly saved your life. 

It’s secrets all of you are gonna have to keep for the rest of your lives. It weighs you down accordingly.

“Am I crazy, or is that…?” Robin trails off, freckled chin tilted towards the velvet blue sky as she gapes at the artificially rotted house. It glows a sickly green color on the outside. The windows light up red every now and then, in time with the screams echoing from the upper story.

“Yeah,” Nancy answers, breathless and equally dumbfounded. “I think it is.”

A beat of silence falls over the group of you. It doesn’t feel so heavy with the surrounding chatter. The crowd continues to bustle around you on the street, falling over themselves with laughter and lingering fright. They have no idea the ghost story they grew up with nearly destroyed the world.

The bitter realization makes your chest ache. Steve seemingly understands this and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. You wonder if he can feel the way you tremble.

Eddie scoffs a cynical laugh from the other side of you. A pink, sadistic grin tugs at his lips, almost as wild as his curls billowing in the autumn breeze. “It’s basically kismet then, huh?”

Steve shoots the boy a half-hearted glare, then deflates because he realizes he can’t really be mad about it. Those damn demobats might’ve taken a pound of flesh from his stomach, but it’s nowhere near the feast they made out of Munson.

“C’mon on, dude,” he murmurs quietly with a subtle nod down at you.

“What?” Eddie snorts. “If I don’t laugh bout it, I’ll start crying, so… Take your pick, man.”

Steve wants to tell him that there’s no shame in crying. That he’s done it plenty of times since the fall of ’84. He’s cried for you, for himself, for the kids who will never get to be kids again. He figures it’s better than letting it all build up until you damn near explode. 

But now’s probably not the best time for that talk. Or any time, really. He’ll get you to get all serious and sappy with Eddie about that another time, just like you did for him.

“I’m gonna, uh— I’m gonna go get the tickets,” Jonathan murmurs with his usual Byers mumblings. 

He wasn’t around for the whole Vecna ordeal — just the weird shit in California and the secret lair thing in Nevada. He feels like he can be a bit braver about the whole thing for the four of you.

Nancy brushes a kiss to the boy’s cheek before he leaves. She does that a lot now, with Jonathan and all the rest of you. She always feels like she needs to say a proper goodbye and I love you whenever someone leaves. Just in case the world decides to end again.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Steve mutters to you, gaze twinkling with sincerity but stern still. “You know that, right?”

He knows that you know, but he feels the need to say it anyway. Mostly because he knows you were already scared of most things before everything went to shit. You’ve always been delicate, tender, like an open wound. Now, you can’t step outside without shaking. You’re always shuddering with the distant fear that the curse might return and no one will be there to save you.

Steve knows this, too. That’s why he holds so ardently to your trembling hand. It’s a silent reminder that he’s there, that he won’t let anything happen to you again, that he’ll always be around to save you when you need him.

“Oh, my god,” Robin groans, eyes wide and head tilted back. “Leave her alone, Steve! She’s fine!”

You know she’s just trying to be supportive. She thinks Steve’s coddling you because you’re quiet — that he’s sticking up for you because he thinks you can’t stick up for yourself. 

He is. And you can’t. But still, she’s only trying to help.

Steve looks to his left to glare at her. They seem to communicate telepathically for a moment. His eyes soften again when he turns back to you. His deep cinnamon gaze swims with a honeyed concern, a silent “Are you fine?”

You nod. “I’m okay,” you tell him, mustering a soft smile that wavers at the edges.

He doesn’t believe you, not completely, but he doesn’t press it any further.

Jonathan returns with the ticket stubs. They’re black and blood red. You take the one he gives you with hesitant, clammy hands. He seems to notice how terrified you are without you having to say a single goddamn word.

“I’m not a huge fan of these things either,” he confesses with a thin-lipped smile. A light-hearted way of telling you that you’re not alone in the fear you keep hidden (very poorly hidden, you figure).

You smile back at him, but it doesn’t quite meet your eyes. 

Your fingers fidget with the paper stub — maybe a distraction for yourself or maybe to hide how you’re too anxious to stay still. Steve figures it’s a bit of both. ‘Cause he knows you too well and not a thing gets by him. There’s nothing about you that he doesn’t notice.

He turns to face you completely while everyone else gets their ticket. He keeps his wedged between his middle and forefinger as his hands curl around the outsides of your elbows. He’s serious, but still soft — gentle, but still firm. 

“Babe—”

“Stevie,” you interject with a similar tone. “I’m okay.”

“You heard her, Stevie. She’s fine!” Robin retorts, curling her maroon-tinted lips into a smirk. She scoffs out a laugh and gestures up to the fake haunt across the street. “This shit is basically for kids. No one’s dying here, alright?”

You know what she’s doing. She’s sticking up for you and taking the piss out of her best friend at the same time. It’s nothing new — hell, it’s her favorite hobby. She’s got your back now the same way she had it in that house last spring. 

But still, her words sting a little.

Because she’s right. This place is for kids. And you still feel a bit like you’re dying.

Steve knows this, too. He knows everything about you. Even the stuff you wish he didn’t.

His sneakers scuff against the pavement when he turns to Robin. His eyes narrow in a challenging squint as he crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn’t look quite as intimidating as usual in his fluffy, cable-knit sweater. 

“Well, you know what? I’m scared, actually. I don’t wanna do it, okay? You got me, Rob.”

The girl grins something cynical. She shakes her head all slow, like she’s just caught him in some kind of lie. “I knew it. You little baby.”

Steve lets her tease him. It’s not like he isn’t used to it by now. He just rolls his eyes and bears it, lets her laugh about it with the rest of the group as they head towards the haunted house. 

You watch with an attentive gaze while they head inside, flinching softly when you hear a thunderous boom and the sound of their screaming a second later. It leaves you secretly grateful that you hadn’t gone in behind them. 

A wavering sigh tumbles from your lips, a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Steve exhales a gentle laugh from beside you. He smooths a wide palm up your spine and down again. He leans over to press the side of his hip against yours.

You cross your arms over your chest to make yourself as small as possible while you glance over at the boy beside you. You look at him so far beneath your lashes you’re basically peering at him from the corner of your eye.

“Thank you,” is all you say. It’s all you need to say.

Steve shrugs with a plush, crooked grin. “’S okay. I know you’re too sweet to say no, so…”

“I wanted to do it,” you confess, clearing your throat when your voice breaks.

“I know.”

“I guess I’m not… as used to everything as I thought.”

“I know,” Steve repeats. His hand curls around your waist and makes a home in the very center of it. He pulls you closer with the urge to melt into you. His brows raise, eyes sparkling when his smile widens. “But that’s why I’m here, though, right? We’re gonna get better together.”

You nod up at him, smiling more sincerely now. 

Arms still crossed, your hands ball into fists to fight the urge to smooth a hand through his hair — to push back the rogue chestnut strands hanging over his forehead.

You hesitate, so he beats you to the draw. He swipes a golden hand over his head right before he leans down to kiss you. 

He smacks a sweet peck to your smile. A bright light flashes with another thunderous boom a moment later. You flinch and pull back. You swear you hear Eddie screaming, “jesus fucking christ!” from the upper story. You forget to be scared.

You didn’t think it was possible. The whole getting better thing.

Steve makes you feel like could be.

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a bit of a personal question, so if you don’t want to answer this, I completely understand!! no hard feelings at all! long story short, I’m demisexual, and I just entered my first real relationship. My girlfriend lights me up inside in a way I’ve never experienced before, but being demi I have no sexual or romantic experience and I’m a little stressed about First Times. Do you have any tips on how to relax? Or at least how to be comfortable with that unfamiliar territory? Your little tidbits about your relationship with B really opened my eyes to my own situation, so I thought I’d maybe see if you had any tips for me. Thanks in advance!!

First: Congratulations! That's super exciting!

Second:

Talk 👏 to 👏 her👏 (!!!)

My partner and I talked A LOT before even the slightest hanky-ing of panky-ing occurred. (In fact, our first conversation about it consisted of me telling him I likely would not enjoy sex and wasn't willing to submit myself to things I did not enjoy anymore and him being like, "ok, no sex, then." Which gave me the time and inclination to feel things out further.) So, when I got to a place where I was like, "ok, conceptually, I do actually like the idea of physical intimacy with you, I'm just not sure I'll enjoy it in practice," we kept talking! I told him things I thought he should know about the past experiences I'd had that might color things we did. I told him about how anxious I was because this mattered in a way that was new and scary (because I was in real actual love and, as you might imagine, not handling it well). I let him ask questions and we made a plan to try things slowly in a low-stress, no-expectations kind of way. It was super valuable A. in making me feel like we were approaching an unfamiliar territory together rather than me entering it by myself and B. it apparently eased a lot of my partner's concern that he'd do something to hurt or scare me when he knew what was off-limits, what was ok, and what we'd need to figure out.

I'll be real with you. Our "first time" sucked. I was a nervous wreck. He called things only shortly after they'd started and was like, nope, time to cuddle and watch a movie instead. And the fact that we'd talked about this probably happening, and him confirming the initial promises he'd made that he wouldn't push me, and he wouldn't get mad if nothing sexual actually happened--that made me a lot less nervous during the next attempt. And each time was an improvement until things were, you know, better than I ever could have imagined. Fireworks. Rainbows. The whole 9 yards. It just took a lot of talking to get there.

Also, people seem to think that talking about sex-- test results, dislikes, preferences––is somehow not sexy. But I found it to be the opposite. 1. I love planning things. So knowing what "the plan" is ahead of time is very nice. 2. Talking about an action before trying it out can be... titillating. Let's say.

Anyway. Communicate! If she's as awesome as she sounds, she'll be honored and pleased to tackle the situation with you rather than being a part of the thing that's giving you anxiety.

[heeverseblog]

this time

synopsis: you confessed to jake sim in your senior year of high school but got rejected. now you’re a single mom in need of a math tutor to help your daughter pass math class. you happen to stumble upon jake’s profile and end up hiring him.

pairing: math tutor!jake x single mom!reader

genre: childhood acquaintances to lovers, single parent au, fluff, little bit of angst but happy ending

warnings: unrequited love (only at the beginning), mentions of early pregnancy, abandonment, fear of being in a relationship, one suggestive scene, short argument about career

word count: 11,359 words

note: THIS WHOLE STORY IS RUSHED AND NOT HEAVILY PROOFREAD, SORRY :((((

the first day you saw jake sim was at your school’s library. you were reading “anne of green gables” while he was reading a physics textbook. a freakin’ physics textbook. who reads a physics textbook at eight years old? apparently, jake sim does.

he looked so invested in reading formulas and his glasses were thick black-framed ones. you thought it was cute when he was sticking his tongue out as he was reading probably some formulas and terms. you forgot about gilbert blythe because that day, jake sim became number one in your “the cutest boys i’ve ever seen” list.

word was sent out that you had a huge, massive crush on jake sim. who wouldn’t know when you shout his name every time he passes by your way? you’d give him love notes saying how cute he looked with his glasses and how he has the cutest smile. every cringey, embarrassing thing a girl can do and call her crush just for him to notice her. yes, you’ve done it all.

when you became a teenager, you think that what you feel towards jake is more than just a crush. the longer you got to know him, the more you got to see how kind he was. when everyone was having a hard time understanding math, he’d write on the blackboard formulas and explaining when and where to use them. when a kid fell on his bike, he cleaned the wound and carried him to the school clinic, even when he was tired and sweaty from soccer practice.

one time, you were bored at math class. so you doodled the soccer field from your window. then your math teacher slams his hands on your table and proceeds to humiliate you on your artistic dreams. your colored pencils were confiscated and as shallow as it may be, you felt like a part of you was taken away after being humiliated.

while it was lunch time, jake came out of your classroom going with his friends, sunghoon and jay. you were still sad about what happened a while ago. when you sat down, you were surprised when you colored pencils were placed under your desk. you remember jake coming out of the classroom. you smile, realizing that you liked jake sim.

every girl fell on line in talking to jake sim. but you always made sure you were first. rumors spread that jake had a crush on the transfer student, kazuha. the rumors were confirmed when he asked her to the school dance. they danced that night but nothing bloomed. you noticed jake looked a little sulky the following week. and you thought that simply making him laugh like making funny faces or giving him cookies will make him feel better. and he did. jake was never mean to you. he still treats you kindly like everyone else. and you were fine with that. but you wanted to step your game.

a few weeks left and you will be graduating high school. so you wanted to confess to jake properly. you drew a banner with your confession, “jake sim, will you accept me?” you remember setting up the art room with lights. your art teacher was kind enough to allow you, knowing that you were her favorite student.

“jake sim, i’ve liked you since the day you were reading that textbook in the library. i’ve always liked you and it took me years to properly confess how I truly feel . so… you held out the flowers to him, “will you accept me?”

you felt like crying saying your confession. but you didn’t care. you gave him the peonies from your mother’s flower shop. when you thought will reach for the flowers, he held hands and slowly pulled them down. your face went down along with your hands.

“y/n, i appreciate what you have done…but,” jake looked down at the floor, “i don’t like you like that.”

you’d be lying to yourself when you say you’re not hurt. you tried your best not to blink or else the tears will come out of your eyes.

“oh. um…thank you for being honest.” you gave him a forced smile, feeling your eyes well up. on cue, the school bell rings, signaling it’s time for all students to get out of the building.

“i’ll see you tomorrow?”

jake nods, “see you tomorrow.”

you gave him a pat in the back before turning of the lights then ran out of the art room. you let the tears run down your face as the petals from the peonies fell, leaving a trail on the floor.

after a week, you received your high school diploma and off you to college you go. you and your friends took pictures together and you thought that it would be nice to walk around your school for one last time. from the classrooms, to the playgrounds, to the soccer fields. then you took one last glance at the art room, recalling the day you experienced your first heartbreak.

when you went back to your parents, they gave you a tight hug before giving you a bouquet. then you catch a glimpse of jake with his family. like yours, his parents were proud of him for finishing top of his class. your heart might have swelled a little but before you could feel it more, your dad said he’d take you and your mom out to dinner.

jake sim might not like you back but you were sure that he will be a good memory you can look back to.

“i’m sorry, mom.” your seven-year-old daughter tells you as both of you walked out of her classroom. apparently, she wasn’t the best at math class and her homeroom teacher was beginning to worry. but who were you to be disappointed when you were never the best at math either.

you kneel down, holding your daughter’s shoulders, “aera, we’re going to hire someone to help you, alright?”

aera pouts while nodding her head. you held her cheek, “sweetie, it’ll be alright. hm?” your daughter slowly nods her head then both of you went home.

you’re in an app searching for math tutors that look friendly but will help your daughter excel in class. it’s been an hour and you still haven’t found the right one.

“mommy, what’s for dinner?” aera says as she colors in her coloring book.

“we’re having spaghetti tonight, sweetie.” aera just nods her head and goes back to coloring. when you returned your attention to your phone, a familiar name popped up.

sim jaeyun: part-time physics teacher, part-time math tutor

sim jaeyun or known as jake sim when you were just a girl living in a small town. he was the boy you’ve had a huge crush on ever since you were eight years old. because of your silly crush on him, you confessed to him a week before your high school graduation. but he didn’t like you that way.

admit it or not, jake is a strong candidate. aside from attending the same school as kids, jake was best in math and physics and had a good reputation for being a math wizard.

unconsciously, you tapped the hello! are you available for a meet-up? option.

“shit!” you stand up from the couch.

“mom, that’s a bad word,” aera says while coloring her coloring book at the dinning table.

“you’re right, sweetie. mommy is sorry.” you say and kneeled to reach your daughter’s height. you smile, thinking that your daughter takes after you in her interest in drawing and coloring. she’d always ask you for coloring books, sometimes crayons if her old ones kept breaking. then one time you gave her the 64 crayons that you’ve always wanted as a kid.

“mommy, look!” aera colored the tiger pink.

“that’s wonderful, baby!” aera goes back into coloring while you prepare your dinner.

while you were cooking your spaghetti, your phone beeps and you received a message.

hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?

you reply, it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.

jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?

you take a deep breath and typed your full name.

jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?

y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.

jake: oh wow! how are you doing?

y/n: i’m doing well right now.

jake: that’s good to hear!

jake: about your daughter, where exactly does she need help in math?

y/n: if it’s not too much to ask, she needs help in everything.

jake: oh no problem! are you available to meet-up?

y/n: sure! will send you the details soon.

jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.

y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.

“oh no!”

you immediately put your phone down and got the pot away from the stove with smoke coming out of it.

you told jake to meet you at this café that is somewhat near where you lived and where jake is residing. it’s been long since you last saw jake and your last encounter with him was at the art room with a banner and lights where you confessed. then he rejected you.

you were holding tight on your cup of coffee. after you told jake where you were seated, you were expecting to meet him anytime soon. and that thought made you more nervous.

“y/n?”

your organs did somersaults when you hear his familiar voice. and when you turn around, you were also greeted with a familiar face.

“j-jake. hi.”

jake still wore glasses. difference is that they were no longer thick black-framed ones but specs. aside from that, he did not change much. he still looked as gentle like before.

“sorry to keep you waiting. one of my students needed help.”

“no worries. please, take a seat.”

jake sits at the seat across you. he places his bag on the floor then he returns his gaze at you.

“sorry i didn’t order anything for you yet. i didn’t know what you liked.”

“it’s okay. so, your daughter needs help?”

“yeah, aera, she…she has trouble understanding problem-solving equations. has a hard time memorizing the multiplication table too, apparently.”

some part of you felt awkward that your daughter got her weakness in math from you. and jake knew that.

“do you have any worksheets from her class?”

“oh, yes,” you bring out the sheets if paper from your bag and gave it to jake. he reviews the papers and you felt déjà vu, remembering the day you first saw him in the library while reading a physics textbook.

“i see the problem here. she mixes the formulas and interchanges them.”

“is she…does she need extreme hands on help?”

“i can’t say yet but if i tutor her soon, i'll let you know the progress.”

“thank you…” you pause, not knowing to call him mr. sim, teacher sim, or just by his name.

“sorry,” you let out an awkward laugh, “i just don’t know how to address you?”

“jake is fine. i mean we went to the same school.”

“okay. thank you, jake.”

“thank you, too. y/n.” then jake gets his bag.

“you’re leaving?”

“yeah, i have to do some tasks first. but let me know when i can tutor her.”

“sure thing. see you soon?”

jake nods, “see you soon.” then he leaves the café.

you and jake agreed that he will tutor aera from 2 pm to 5 pm every thursday and friday. at first, aera is shy to meet a new person but you assured her that her new tutor is a friend of yours. and she promised that she will behave.

the doorbell rang and as you expected, jake was outside.

“hi.”

“hi. i hope i’m not too early.”

“oh, no. you came just in time. come on in.”

when you let jake in your unit, you told him to wait by the living room while you call aera by her bedroom.

“sweetie, your tutor is here. come and say hi.”

when aera came out of her room, her shyness aent away.

“aera, this is jake. he’s going to tutor you at math. say hi, sweetie.”

“hello!” aera waves to jake to which he found adorable and softly giggles.

“it’s nice to meet you, aera.”

“mommy says you’re her friend. i call aunt yujin and aunt gaeul aunties because they’re mommy’s friends. can i call you uncle jake?”

“aera…”

“uncle jake sounds nice.” jake said with a smile on his face.

“do you want us to start, aera?” jake asks and aera nods before pulling jake to the dining table.

before jake and aera started their tutor session, you asked permission from jake if you can stay by your room with the door open. and he was kind enough to understand that you were careful with aera.

surprisingly, jake and aera got along well. aera had a hard time understanding the formulas and comprehending problems but jake was very patient with her. you always knew that jake would be a great teacher but you never knew that day will actually come true.

“okay, so when you add 4 and 7, you’ll be transferring the other one here, to 6. so it becomes 7. then you add 7 and 2. and what’s the answer?”

“91?”

“good job, aera!” then jake did a high five to aera before circling the worksheet with his red pen.

“uncle jake, can you be my math teacher instead? you’re nicer than mrs. im.”

“did you know that mrs. im was also my math teacher. your mom and i were her students.”

“it means that she’s old! no wonder why she’s so grumpy.”

“aera, what did we say about bad mouthing people?” you say from the kitchen as you start preparing your dinner.

“it’s not going to make us different from them.”

“that’s right.”

jake softly laughed at your statement, “okay, aera. that’s all for today. if you still need help next time, we can always go back. but try studying on your own too, okay?”

“okay, uncle jake!”

jake starts packing his things then you and aera see him out.

“uncle jake, thank you for teaching me today. you’re so nice and i had fun.”

“you’re welcome, aera.”

aera looks up at you, “mommy, say thank you, too.”

you rub aera’s shoulders, “yes, ma’am,” then faced jake, “thank you for helping aera today. really.”

“you’re welcome,” jake looks down at aera, “i’ll see you tomorrow, okay kiddo?”

“see you tomorrow, uncle jake!” aera waves and jake gives her a smile before he leaves.

months have passed since jake tutored aera. the process wasn’t easy at first since aera is really having a hard time understanding math. but as jake promised, he updated you that aera is still in need of help to improve. and you were grateful that he was patient with her, despite being exhausted from being a teacher at school.

most days, aera was excited for her tutoring sessions. she even boasts how she has a good tutor and jake’s her favorite teacher slash uncle. and you have to admit, it was cute.

today, you were busy finishing an illustration for a children’s book. most of the time, you sell your works online or have clients contact you for commissions. it wasn’t a stable job but you had to earn for you and your daughter. and thank god, your clients paid you well.

in the middle of working, you received a message from yujin, saying that there will be a class reunion at the town hall two months from now. you didn’t know if you’ll be able to go but you might if your friends are going.

yujin: so how’s the tutoring going on?

y/n: it’s going pretty well, actually. jake is really patient with aera and he always make sure that she understands what he’s teaching her

gaeul: you know…it’s not too late to re-live high schaer

y/n: eh???

yujin: she means to shoot your shot

y/n: very funny guys -_-

y/n: jake is just tutoring aera and he’s just doing his job

gaeul: 👀

yujin: if you say so 🤪

y/n: gotta get ready. i’ll be picking up aera in a bit and jake will be arriving after.

yujin: ooooh y/n is getting ready for her date.

y/n: OH PLEASE 😡

you roll your eyes before locking your phone and turning off your tablet.

when you were done getting dressed, the doorbell rang and when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake.

“hi, jake. i was just about to pick-up aera from school.”

jake scrunches his forehead then looks at his watch, “oh,” he lets out a laugh, “my class ended early and i might have thought i was late. i can come back later.”

“oh no, please. do you want to come with me and pick-up aera? she’ll be glad to see you.”

“sure.”

“great. let’s go.”

during the car ride, you and jake didn’t say a word. it was either you were busy watching the road or avoiding talking to him.

“so how have you been?”

“hm?”

“i mostly see you during tutoring sessions but we never really…'talked.’”

“oh, uh…well today was fine. i’m currently doing an illustration for a children’s book. not halfway done but I’m making progress. you?” you liked to jake before immediately returning your attention to the road.

“one of my students said that physics was useless and why do we need to study how fast a frisbee can travel.”

you try holding your laugh but jake caught you so you retort, “sorry it’s just that a kinda remember myself. and well, i couldn’t help my daughter in her math homework.”

it was silent again and all you could hear was the tires and the car engine.

“for what’s worth, aera is a good kid.”

you smile at jake’s comment and looked at him for a while, “thanks.”

“we’re here.”

“it’s been a while since i saw this place.”

you spot aera waiting at the waiting area and when she sees your car, she stands up and waits for you. and when you and jake got out of the car, she immediately runs to jake, hugging his leg.

“uncle jake, you’re here!”

jake giggles, “it’s good to see you too, kiddo.” then he rubs aera’s head like usual.

“don’t i get a hug?”

“mommy!” aera opens her arms and then you carry her. she gives you a kiss.

“let’s go home?” you asks and aera nods.

the three of you went to the car. aera was still happy that jake was with you to pick her up.

“uncle jake, can you come and pick me up next time?”

“aera, uncle jake has classes to teach. you can still see each other during tutoring sessions.”

aera pouts at what you said. jake looks back, “how about i bring you ice cream next week?”

aera smiles, “yes, please!”

“you might spoil her with too much sweets.” you nag.

“can it be mint chocolate, please?”

jake’s eyes grew wide then he looks at you and back at aera, “you really are your mother’s daughter.”

“hey mint chocolate deserves to be respected,” you defend.

“not when it tastes like toothbrush.”

“that’s mean!” you and aera say in unison.

throughout the whole ride, three of you were still bickering about mint chocolate being the superior ice cream flavor. you never thought that someone could actually get along with you and your daughter’s antics. and you liked it.

“i’m sorry for the overtime, jake. but don’t worry, i’ll increase today’s payment session.”

exams were coming and aera needed help in studying. you felt bad that you had to ask jake to stay for a while but you promised him that he’ll be compensated more than his usual pay.

“it’s alright. besides, aera needed help.”

“why don’t you stay for dinner? you might be hungry.”

“oh, no. i couldn’t.”

“no, really. it’s the least i can do for thanking you.”

“if you insist then,” jake places his bag down the chair, “dinner would be great.”

and dinner was going great. aera told jake herself that jake was her favorite teacher. and jake felt honored. aera kept telling stories of her school life and how she made friends. then aera tells how

“you know, your uncle jake helped everyone in math before. he’s a math wizard.”

“uncle jake, did you help mom math too?”

“i did. she got the 4th highest grade in our math exam.”

“and of course, your uncle jake got the highest grade.”

jake does this hand gesture where he says “oh please.”

“is my mom hard to teach?”

you and jake laughed, “well…let’s say you’re a fast learner than your mother.”

“mommy, i’m better at you in math!”

“i can’t believe you two are teaming up against me,” then you pretend to get shot at the heart and jake and aera laughed at your antics.

after dinner was done, aera became sleepy. she promised that she’ll finish her homework tomorrow. you let her sleep early because she looked exhausted.

“goodnight, uncle jake.” aera says then yawns.

“goodnight, kiddo. you did well today.” jake kneels down and aera hugs jake. you were surprised but jake returned the hug, the sight melted your heart.

“okay, sweetie. uncle jake has to go home and sleep too.” aera pulls away from the hug and then you tell her to get her clothes and take a shower.

“bye, uncle jake.” aera says before getting inside the bathroom.

when it was just you and jake alone, you looked into each other and laughed.

“aera will be sleeping well tonight.”

“yeah, looks like it.”

“hey,” you pause for a while, “thank you. for helping aera. she hasn’t been this happy for a while.”

“thank you for letting me stay.” for some reason, your heart fluttered, “for dinner.”

“oh,” then you let out a chuckle, “you’re welcome.”

you and jake let out another chuckle. and it might seem cringey but you didn’t care. because right now—this felt right. you looking to his eyes, and him doing the same. almost like you didn’t want him to leave.

“i, uh…” jake coughs, “i should probably go.”

“oh. yeah…right. drive safely.”

jake nods before he opens the door, saying goodbye before leaving.

when you closed the door, you let out a breath you realized you haven’t been holding. you’ve replayed how jake looked at you just a while ago. and every time you remembered his face, your heart would beat fast. when you remember him being a good friend to aera, you couldn’t help but melt at his gentleness towards your daughter.

“mommy?” aera walks out of the bathroom with a towel on her shoulders, “are you sick?”

“huh? oh. no, no sweetie.”

“your face is red.”

“it’s just hot sweetie. let’s tuck you to bed, okay?”

after tucking aera to bed, it was your turn to get ready for bed. and when you thought you’ll be able to sleep peacefully, days of jake bonding with your daughter flashed in your mind again. he hated mint chocolate but when he promised to bring a tub of it, he ate it with you and aera. he finished a cup of it and didn’t think of spitting it out or drinking water to cleanse his tongue. one time, when you gave him a glass of water, your fingers touched and you immediately pulled away.

you kept tossing and turning all night. it was like you were your old self, gushing over jake in the smallest things. though this time, you had a daughter. and jake treats her so well that you couldn’t help but smile and melt.

and you wore that smile until you slept peacefully at night.

lately, you’ve been having headaches while feeling muscle pains. when you took a temperature test, it showed that you had fever. you immediately called yujin, saying you needed help to take care of aera. you couldn’t ask your parents help because they have a store to take of at home. besides, you didn’t want them to take a bus all the way here to the city. you were just thankful that yujin was happy to babysit aera while you we sick and you said that you were fine with being alone for now. you told jake about your sickness and aera’s tutoring sessions will be cancelled for now. he hopes for you to get better soon.

“remember to listen to aunt yujin, alright?”

“mhm!”

“and you don’t keep her waiting when she comes to fetch you.”

“yes, mommy!”

“don’t forget to finish your homework, alright? especially math.”

“yes, mommy!” you smile at your daughter then shift your attention to yujin, “thank you for doing this.”

“aera and i will have a good time, don’t worry,” yujin soothes aera’s head.

“i’m going to miss you, sweetie.” sadly, you couldn’t kiss aera goodbye.

“i’m going to miss you too, mommy!”

“okay sweetie, you’re going be late for school.”

aera and yujin say their goodbyes and you were left alone in your home. you lied down on your bed, with a glass of water beside you. you wrapped yourself in your blanket, hoping that it’ll stop you from shivering.

hours have passed and what you’ve been doing is eating, cleaning the used dishes, drinking medicine, and sleeping. you couldn’t wait to get better but you still felt sick and weak.

you were covered in your blanket when your doorbell rang. you wondered if it was yujin but she must be at home this hour, watching over aera.

you wore your mask before getting the door. when you opened it, you were surprised to see jake holding a stainless-steel lunchbox.

“oh, jake. hi.”

“i, uh…i made us some dinner. i made you soup.” jake raises the lunchbox, “i just thought you needed something to warm you up.”

you couldn’t help but melt at jake’s words. he really has this talent of turning small things into something big. and it made your heart flutter.

“come on in.” you opened the door for jake and let him in like always.

“i’ll just get us some plates.” then jake holds your shoulder, “i’ll do it. you can lie down and rest.”

you nod, “okay.” you were about to enter your room but you turn around, “plates and bowls are in the upper right cabinet.”

“got it.”

“and the spoons—” then jake shows you that he found the utensils on the other side of the cabinet.

“i’ll…” you point to your room and jake assures you that he’s got it covered.

you never let anyone in your home aside from your friends and parents. yujin and gaeul have always been pestering you to go on blind dates but you never did. letting someone else in your life was making you a little doubtful. but you were glad that jake is someone you knew and looks trustworthy.

“hey,” jake enters with a tray of the food he brought. you sit up then jake places the tray in front of you.

“what’s tonight’s main course?”

“well, we have ramyeon with ham, boiled eggs, and green onions.”

“sounds delicious.”

“here,” jake scoops some soup and gently blows it before bringing the spoon close to your mouth. you take the soup in your mouth and you smile, “that’s good soup. give my compliments to the chef.”

jake softly laughs, “will do.”

and jake proceeds to feed you the noodles and other toppings. you felt shy every time you couldn’t take the food in your mouth, especially if they were noodles. but jake didn’t judged you. when you were almost done, you drank the remaining soup left.

“you good?”

you nod, “mhm! thanks for the food. how about you?”

“i already ate, don’t worry.” you nod then you drank your medicine.

“um…jake?”

“yeah?”

“thank you for coming over.”

jake smiles, “you’re welcome. you can sleep if you want to.”

“hm? aren’t you…don’t you need to go home and do other things?”

“if it’s alright with you…could i stay for a while? i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”

you couldn’t find the right words to say. jake sim, your highschool classmate, childhood crush, your daughter’s math tutor—is willing to nurse you.

“are you sure?”

“if it’s alright with you. because,” jake slowly brings his hand to your forehead. when you realized what he wanted to do, you leaned forward, letting his hand touch your forehead.

“you’re still burning up.”

the thought of jake sim touching your forehead still causes you to become speechless. when he lets go, you pretended to not be bothered at all.

“are you sure you’ll be okay? i’m a heavy sleeper.”

“i don’t mind. sleep all you want.”

jake takes the tray and helps you fix your pillow, tucking you inside your blanket.

“goodnight, y/n.”

you smile, “goodnight, jake.”

jake was by your side until the day you got better. he cooked you food and let you rest. you felt guilty that he had to nurse you but he wanted to do it wholeheartedly. and your heart fluttered.

you confessed to aera that her uncle jake has been taking care of you while she was away. she was jealous at first because she wanted to take care of you. but you explained to her that you didn’t want to get her sick. she came to her senses and thanked jake that he took care of you. yujin, though, was protective at first but she proceeded to tease you about it.

though lately you’ve realized, your attraction on jake sim was coming back. but this time, you were starting to see him in a different light. he has always been selfless, kind, and gentle but him showing those actions to your daughter made you like him more. but of course, you couldn’t tell him directly how you felt. things were different now that you’re a mom and he’s your daughter’s math tutor.

you’d rather hide your feelings than accept a rejectin. you’ll be reminded that things that come into your life are temporary.

today, you were going to take aera out to a museum for kids. why? because she got a high score in her math exam. while you were sick, aera managed to study on her own and remember the lessons she had with jake. you called jake and told him the news and he felt so proud of her.

“mommy, can uncle jake come with us?”

“i don’t know, sweetie. but i’ll call uncle jake first, okay?” aera nods her head vigorously.

jake’s phone continued ringing and you waited for him to pick-up the call.

“hello, y/n?”

“hey, jake.”

“hi, uncle jake!” aera says and you hear jake laugh.

“aera says hi.”

“well, what’s up?”

“oh…you see, i’m taking aera out today. and we were wondering—i mean she was wondering if…if you wanted to come with us.”

you shake your head, feeling anxious if jake caught you. but that worry disappeared when jake replies, “sure, i mean i’d love to.” and he sounded full of glee.

“g-great! we’ll pick you up then?”

“oh, no. i’ll pick you guys up.”

“oh. but—”

“no, really. i want to pick you guys up.”

“oh,” again, jake’s doing the smallest things can become big. “okay, we’ll be ready by then.”

“okay. see you later.

“see you later.”

never in a long time has jake sim thought that he’ll be meeting y/n again. not in a million years has he also expected to meet y/n’s daughter.

jake sim was just having a regular day: teaching physics at school, checking their papers, and create lesson plans. he goes home, continues checking papers, finishes his lesson plan, and reads more textbooks whether it be math or physics. finally, he washes up, does a little bit of social media, then goes to bed.

jake was used to getting compliments of him being a math genius. many expected him to be a scholar, a professor, an engineer, or a physicist. but it wasn’t that easy. believe it or not, jake sim couldn’t seem to know where he can fit in. he was the golden boy from high school but after he graduated, he became lost and unsure. but he did know he loved math and physics alongside ramyeon noodles.

jake sim does his daily routine when suddenly, he receives a message. he puts his papers down and checks his phone.

hello! are you available for a meet-up?

then he replies, hello there! may i know who i’ll be tutoring?

the sender didn’t reply. he thought that it was the usual ones who reply after an hour or two so he goes back to checking his papers.

after a while, the sender replied.

it’s my seven-year-old daughter. she needs help in math.

jake returns his attention to his phone.

jake: oh i see. may i know who i am speaking with?

the sender sends a familiar name. then jake remembers a girl he frequently heard in school.

jake: y/n? did we go to the same school together?

y/n: yup! same school since 2nd grade to high school.

jake felt like catching up with an old friend. he might have not known you that much but he knew your reputation of being one of his admirers and that you were full of spirit with a good personality. though he did remember you causing some trouble but you weren’t the bad student type. in fact, he remembers you giving him compliments on sticky notes.

jake: great! looking forward to meeting you.

y/n: looking forward to meeting you too.

fast forward to the day jake was going to meet you. it was only a casual meet-up about agreements and how he’ll help your daughter pass math class. he noticed that you seemed worried about your kid but he assured you that he’ll try his best to help her.

and when he met her, he couldn’t help but soften up. meeting aera was like a breath of fresh air to his regular students. aera was willing to listen and learn on her lessons. she was very sweet and fun to be with. her spirit reminded him of yours when you were younger.

“uncle jake, i drew this picture for you.” aera gives him a drawing of him, reading books on the table with a blackboard behind him that had math equations.

“you really drew this?” jake asks amazed at your daughter’s drawing skills.

“mhm! because you’re my favorite teacher and i like you.”

jake couldn’t help but smile at aera. the kid was too cute and sweet to do such a thing. he heard you walking from the kitchen, and you had some biscuits placed inside a bowl.

“for the both of you.”

“thank you, mommy.”

jake notices how aera says “thank you” whether it be small or big actions. he liked that about a kid. but then again, he notices that you do the same. and he can’t help but think that you really are a good  mother.

ever since jake met you and aera, his routine might have become longer than before. but he didn’t mind one bit. not when he can get to help you and aera.

jake’s first reaction of you getting sick was that he got worried. the thought of you sick in bed, alone in your home almost made him loose his mind at class.

“i just figured that you need someone to take care of you right now.”

he knew that you got stressed and tired from taking care of aera. he couldn’t imagine how you managed to get through it in seven years. and he wanted to take care of you.

jake might have had had encounters with women but they weren’t any serious. in his defense, he only went on dates so that sunghoon can stop pestering him.

his bond with you and aera’s was different. the only connection you and jake had was that you both went to the same school. now, you don’t have any status aside from the fact that he’s a math tutor. but he liked it when you ask them how they’re doing and give you snacks. something about your smile and warmth makes him feel comfortable and excited at the same time.

right now, he felt happy feeling that you’re letting him be part of your mother and daughter time.

“uncle jake, have you ever been to a museum?”

“i have. your mother and i went to one in a field trip.”

“mommy says that we’re going to a museum filled with drawings.”

“that sounds fun. you excited?”

“mhm! and it’s more exciting because you’re here.”

jake looks at you, smiling at the interaction. throughout the whole ride, he’s been noticing that you’ve been smiling and giggling the whole ride. and he couldn’t help but gush over it.

the moment the three of you came into the museum, aera couldn’t help but become excited. you let aera be happy and excited but not too much or she’ll break some displays.

you took a picture of aera at the interactive displays. jake took pictures of you and aera, you doing vise versa when aera wanted a picture with him. then aera says that she wanted to have a picture with the three of you. when jake looked at the picture, he couldn’t help but think the three of you looked like a family.

“uncle jake, look! you look like my daddy.”

aera’s words affected both of you. jake has always noticed that your bond with you and aera has changed. but he never noticed that it was beyond that. until now.

“sweetie, let’s go to the mannequins, hm?”

“okay!”

then you carry aera and the two of you happily walk to the mannequins. aera was giggling at how the living mannequin gave her a flower.

suddenly, jake saw you carrying a baby in a living room. then aera comes running to you, and you show her the baby. “here’s your little sister, you say.” then you look at jake, “honey.” aera calls him, “daddy!” then runs to his direction.

“jake!”

he blinks when you called him.

“let’s go?”

“uh, y-yeah. i’ll be right there.”

you had a great time day today. aera was happy to spend her day with you guys and you were happy that she’s happy. jake’s company also made you feel happy. you thought that today’s trip would only be you and aera but with jake, it became a memorable one that you’ll never forget.

aera was sleeping peacefully at the back. you and jake were still awake but both of you were tired.

“she had fun, didn’t she?” jake asks, his eyes focusing on the road.

“she certainly did.

“who knew that she can run so fast?”

“one time, i had to chase her for thirty minutes in a playground. couldn’t catch up with her.”

“she reminds me of you. when we were eight.”

“oh please. anyone can barely put up with my energy.”

“it’s one of the best things about you.”

once again, jake sim made your heart flutter. when the car stops, jake looks at you and you avoid his gaze.

you let out a soft laugh, “yeah. i might have passed it down too much. you might have a hard time catching up with us.”

“i don’t mind. i can catch up just fine.”

then the light turns green and jake starts driving again. you were clutching your hand to your chest. your heart was beating fast that you could barely breathe. you hoped that your heart will have mercy until you got home.

minutes later, you arrived at your home. jake said he can carry aera all the way up to your unit.

you opened the door to aera’s room and jake slowly lies her down. you stand by the doorway and watch jake tuck her in and rub aera’s forehead before he leaves the room. both of you take one last glance at aera before you closed the door.

“thank you for tucking her in. and driving us home.”

“you’re welcome.”

just like the other night, you and jake were standing by the door, staring at each other. both of you didn’t say anything but give each other a look. you recognized that look because you had that look from when you were young and when you met jake again. some part of you felt scared. you never let anyone else in your life, after being left with a baby to raise on your own. but that other part was telling you that you felt happy and excited by letting someone in your life again. when all he showed you was you were worth taking care of.

“jake, i—”

jake didn’t let you finish when his lips landed on yours. his mouth molded perfectly in yours and you couldn’t help but kiss back. jake grabs your nape and the action made you sharply inhale. both of you kissed faster and tried catching each other’s lips. realizing that you’re standing in front if your daughter’s door, you pull away.

“she might hear us.” you whisper and before jake could say anything, you pulled him to your room.

when both of you got inside, you lean at the door and jake kisses you again. this time, you pulled him down by wrapping your arms around his neck. you tried catching your breaths before diving back into each other’s lips. jake slides his hand down to your waist and you let out a whimper. he took that signal as a sign to take off his coat and pull you with him.

you ended up being on top of jake and both if you giggled. you took off your jacket and before you knew it, jake was on top of you. he goes back to kissing you and holding your waist, as you held the sides of his face. jake’s lips left yours as he brushes it to your cheeks, down to your jaw, then down to your neck.

you let out a sigh, feeling euphoria. his touch was gentle and you yearned for it. you pull jake closer and he continues his magic. he slides his hands up then behind your back. you pull jake up and kissed again. he slows his movements this time, getting the rhythm that you wanted.

then realization hit you. this feeling was familiar and the thought was scaring you. the last time you felt this kind of attraction, that person was temporary in your life. you knew that jake was too. eventually, you and jake will part ways when his task is done.

“jake…” you say when you pull away. but jake doesn’t hear you and latches his lips on your neck again.

“wait. jake, stop.”

then jake finally hears you and his eyes looked worried.

“did i hurt you?”

“no. no, no. i…”

you couldn’t look at him in the eye. when you stood up, you brushed your hair back and looked at anywhere else.

“is everything okay?”

“i’m sorry. i don’t…”

you covered your face out if embarrassment, along with fear.

“y/n?” jake holds your arm. his touch made you slowly uncover your face.

“are you okay?”

“i’m…i’m scared.”

jake looks at you with his soft eyes. he places his hand on your cheek and you can feel the tears falling from your eyes.

“oh, no. don’t cry.”

but you did. you let yourself be pulled by jake’s embrace. jake calms you down by rubbing your back.

“everything is going to be alright. i'm here.”

for the first time, you’re actually believing those words.

after crying and staying silent for hours, you finally had the courage to tell jake your sturggles.

“I met this guy in college. he was a year older than me but we took the same class.

“we went on a few dates before we became official. we had a plan. we graduate, gets jobs, get married, and eventually start a family.

“getting drunk at the graduation party was not part of it. getting pregnant after the party—not at all.”

jake continues to hold your hand as both of you lie down on your bed. he let you rest your head on his shoulder as you tell your story. jake sympathized with you, waiting for you to finish what you wanted to say.

“i told him but he said he was sticking to his plan. so he’s completely out of the picture and i raised aera on my own.

“ever since then, i was so scared of letting anyone in my life again. it scares me.

“i’m sorry.”

jake puts his hand on your cheek and you face him.

“don’t be. you’re allowed to feel what you feel.”

you give jake a smile, still feeling your eyes swell. but you were thankful that jake was very understanding.

“thank you for listening.”

“thank you for telling me.”

jake soothes your back and you didn’t notice that you fell asleep in his arms.

after that night, you and jake exchanged “hi’s” awkwardly. but you tried your best not to show aera or let it affect you and jake’s agreement.

weeks passed, you and jake grew out of your awkward phase and became more comfortable eith each other. but he never forced you to start anything with him. he continued being a great father-figure to aera.

you can say that what you had was unlabeled but a part of you knows that you were starting to fall in love with jake. but you were afraid to tell him.

you were just washing the dishes after jake and aera finished their cakes. then aera’s question made you stop.

“uncle jake, if i get a high grade in math, does that mean you won’t be going here anymore?”

“of course not, kiddo. why would you think that?”

“because after i get a high grade, you won’t be teaching me anymore.”

“well, yes…because you already know how to do math. but…” at this point, you were looking at jake then he continues, “it doesn’t mean i'll stop visiting you.”

“really?”

“really.”

then aera hugs jake and he hugged her back.

“if you ace the final exam, we’ll eat mint chocolate ice cream together.” then jake looks at you.

“okay!”

aera did her best and jake was beyond proud of her. you were too. you were proud for the both of them. seeing jake with aera, you thought that he can be more than a father-figure. you knew that both of them have a special bond that is more than a tutor and student.

the next days, jake was starting to stay at home longer. he was so familiar with the place that he remembers where you keep your plates and utensils. one time, the three of you played monopoly and you didn’t remember how long you played because the three of you were having fun. jake declared himself as the winner even though there is no real winner in monopoly.

some nights, you and jake would tuck aera together and she liked it. she never complained about having a father but with jake becoming part of your lives, it was like a dream come true for her.

“i don’t know if me hanging out longer looks like i'm invading your home.”

“i don’t mind. besides, we like having you around.”

you and jake were alone in the living room. drinking a glass of wine while having late night conversations.

“do you maybe…want us to go out sometime? just the two of us.”

“yeah. i’d love that.”

“great. it’s a date then.”

you were surprised but you liked it.

“yes, jake. it’s a date.”

you lean on the couch with the glass on your right hand. jake leans in the couch too, looking at you softly.

“it’s weird though.”

“what is?”

“that i never got to see how amazing you are. you’re not just the girl who causes trouble or teachers dislike for drawing in class.”

“to be fair, i never realized how good you are with kids. it’s making me hard not to fall for you.”

you didn’t know if it was the alcohol. but you suddenly confessing your feelings for jake sim was somehow déjà vu.

“i’ll, uh,” you put down your glass, “i’ll make us some coffee.”

you stand up and was about to go to the kitchen when jake pulls you around and kisses you. you kissed him back, tasting the red sine you just drank. jake holds your cheek and you lean forward, holding his waist.

when you pull away, your eyes were still closed but you can feel jake’s breath on your lips.

“i love you.”

you open your eyes and jake was smiling at you. His cheeks were red. might be from the wine or from the proximity and confession he just said.

 “i’m not drunk am i?”

jake smirks, “i don’t think so.” then kisses you again, and you pull him closer.

“thank you for accepting me.” you whisper at his lips.

“no. thank you for accepting me.”

who would’ve thought that a bottle of red wine was all you needed for the perfect confession. but for now, you needed to make two cups of coffee so you and jake can have a proper conversation.

when you told aera the news, you told her that you loved jake like how anne loves gilbert and that jake loves you the same. then aera follows, “but didn’t you already know?” and you were caught off guard.

nevertheless, aera liked the idea of you and jake being together. you haven’t told her about how you met jake. but one day you will so that she’ll know that the right person will come along in time.

just as jake promised you, both of you will be going on a date together. you asked where you’ll be going but he said it was a surprise.

so you dressed up wearing a denim dress that you thought you’ll never use. you wore the necklace your mother gave you when you graduated high school. it felt weird when you asked aera if you looked okay. but she says that you look beautiful as ever. both yujin and gaeul wanted to babysit her this time. but you also knew that they wanted to see you finally having your date with jake sim. but they were hapoy for you that you finally found someone.

“you really don’t want to tell me where we’re going?”

“not a chance.”

you roll your eyes but you knew that jake was trying to give you a date you can remember.

minutes later, the scenery changed into a lake. the water was shining and the grass was turning to a yellow green color thanks to the sunlight. your jaw dropped at the scenery. it was like an actual painting.

when jake stopped the car, he immediately got out and opened the door for you.

“i wanted to find a place only for us.”

“how did you find this place?”

“had a little help from sunghoon and jay.”

“oh how are those two anyway?”

“they’re doing well, actually. jay is engaged and sunghoon is in denial that he’s crushing on his workmate.

you laugh, remembering sunghoon for his schemes and playboy antics. you remember him teasing jake about a girl he liked in high school.

“you okay?”

“hm?”

“you look grumpy.”

“oh.” you shake your head and grab the picnic basket from jake, “come on!”

the whole picnic, you and jake did some catching up. you told him that your parents are still residing in your hometown and your mom’s flower shop is still om business. your dad retired long ago and he just stays at home. jake’s parents were in australia and they were professors in two different universities.

“i suddenly remembered something. weren’t you supposed to move back to australia after high school?”

jake looks down at your figure, “you trying to get rid of me?” then you give jake a “really?” look and he laughs. you sit up and looked at him, placing your palm on his chest. jake was looking up at the sky, thinking deep.

“it was planned, yes. honestly, i was happy to be back home for a while but…something was telling me that i had to be somewhere else.

“i told my parents that i wanted to go back here. they were hesitant at first but i told them to trust me.”

“and did you find what you were looking for?”

“i did,” then he looks at you, “and i realized that i made the right choice to come home.”

“welcome home, jake.” you leaned down and intended to give him a quick kiss but he leans his face forward, trapping your lips.

“that wasn’t fair.”

“i love you too.”

you laugh but gave jake quick pecks and kept saying “I love you’s” in between. you were afraid of being too affectionate but you couldn’t help but show them when jake showers you a lot of it.

jake giggles like a kid then he hovers over you and it was his turn to attack you with kisses.

then both of you ate the sandwiches he made then watched the sunset together. and it was better than any romance movie you watched.

you and jake didn’t really care if you wanted to go public with your relationship. but now that both of you are driving back to your home town for the reunion, you couldn’t help but be nervous. everyone in high school knew your reputation especially that jake was involved. they don’t even know that you’re a single mom of a seven-year-old girl. and now, you’re dating the boy you had a crush on.

your friends won’t be coming because they had to babysit aera. you were hesitant at first to go but you promised jake that you’ll come with him. also, he really wanted to introduce you as his girlfriend to his friends.

“you ready?” jake unbuckles his seatbelt and then he notices you tensing up.

“you okay, baby?”

“what? oh. y-yeah. maybe not?”

“i’ll be with you the whole time,” jake places his hand on yours, “okay?”

you gulp then nod, “okay.”

jake unbuckles your seatbelt, “let’s go.”

when you and jake entered the hall, everyone was in their tables, probably chatting about their careers and relationships. they were all familiar faces. chaewon, the former class president, was chatting with your former homeroom teacher, mrs. bang. somi, one of jake’s admirers was with a date. ej was with his friend nicholas. those two were hard to separate.

“jake, my man!”

you and jake turn around and see jay approaching you. he and jake gave a brotherly hug. then out of no where, sunghoon barges in and headlocks jake.

“dude!”

“sim jaeyun is here!”

and apparently it caught everyone’s attention and they began whispering when they saw you with the famous “02z of daebom high.”

“so…jake.” sunghoon eyes you then back to jake, raising his eyebrows up and down.

“sunghoon, jay, you remember y/n, don’t you?” jake places his hand around your waist.

“how could we forget when she always screams in the hallways 'jake sim jjan!’ or ‘jakey, the sun can’t shine without your existence in the world!’”

“oh please, don’t.” your face becomes red from embarrassment.

“but y/n, i have to say, it’s about time jake did something more than spend his time on paperwork.”

the four of you chatted for a while before finding a table for the four of you. being in the same table with the three flower boys was your high school dream. it felt weird that it came true after many years but in different circumstances.

“baby, want something to eat?”

“not that hungry, thank you.”

“how about some appetizers?”

“meatballs with cheese would be nice though.”

“i’ll be right back,” jake eyes his friends, “be nice.”

“yes, sir!” sunghoon and jay do a salute before jake leaves you with them.

“y/n, tell me. has jake been giving you headaches?”

“no, actually, he’s been helping me a lot. he’d drop by and help tutor my daughter. then we’d have movie nights until we tuck aera to sleep. we go and do the most mundane dates but with him…he makes it so special.”

then you noticed jay and sunghoon just looking at you in awe.

“you really love him, don’t you?”

you nod, “i do. very much.”

“he may not be telling you this but, ever since he met you, his boring, ordinary life became vibrant and full of joy. i’ve never seen him that happy since.”

jay’s words made you feel accepted. he has always had a way with words but it was the first time you actually heard it.

“thanks, jay.”

“y/n, in case he does do something stupid, just give him a smack in the head and he’ll come around.”

“will try to remember that, sunghoon.”

“meatballs for my lady,” jake places the plate in front of you. jay and sunghoon were about to get some when jake slaps their hands.

“go get your own.”

jay was about to slap jake’s shoulder when mrs. bang starts to speak.

“class of 20xx, i’d like to start this reunion by saying, welcome home.”

everyone claps and you follow. your homeroom teacher continues by saying that there will be a program performed by somi and her friends. like before, she’s always had charisma when performing on stage.

there was games. pocky games were always the best. jay and sunghoon did it by vote. everyone cheered when the pocky stick became small in very bite. both of them didn’t want to loose but they didn’t want to touch each other’s lips either so jay took the fall.

there were some awardings too. the life of the party: sunghoon. shy prince: ej. math wizard: your jake. you got the artist award.

the event was still on-going but you and jake left early. you wanted jake to formally meet your parents.

on the drive going there, you felt nervous but you didn’t want to let jake know. as for jake, you can sense that he’s nervous because he was biting his tongue while looking at his feet.

“baby,” you call jake and when he turns around, “you cup his face.”

“they’re going to love you.”

this time, you’re assuring jake. you felt nervous too but you love jake and you know that he’s a good man that your parents will love.

you and jake waited for someone to answer the door. and when it opened, your mom answers it.

“hi, mom. dad.”

“y/n? who’s this?”

“this is jake. he’s my boyfriend.”

and your parents ended up loving jake. they remember him when you mentioned you went to daebom high together. suddenly, they told jake stories about you gushing over jake. you figured that you had quite the reputation here in town.

“oh jake, you should’ve seen y/n write your name at the back of her notebook with hearts.”

“mom!” you cover your face but your parents kept teasing you.

“jake, y/n might seem the free spirit type but she’s someone who has a big heart.”

“yes, sir. and i'll take care of her and aera.”

your dad kept offering jake some alcohol but you kept reminding him that both of you need to drive home. but a twist of events lead to jake becoming wasted and your parents saying that both of you should spend the night here.

“mom, i have to see aera.”

“y/n, you’re tired and jake is drunk. now, i don’t want both of you getting into an accident.”

you sigh, “yes, mom.”

you carried jake to your old room and lie him on his back. he kept calling your name but you just laughed, finding him cute with his red face.

“baby, i need to take off your shirt. okay?”

jake pouts and covers his chest, “my girlfriend will get mad at me.”

“jake, it’s me.”

jake slowly opens his eyes, “oHhh y/n!”

just like that, jake was fast asleep. you slowly lifted him so he can sit up. when he was sitting on the head board, you gently unbuttoned his shirt. you were thankful that he was wearing a white shirt inside. after that, you positioned him facing the side with a pillow under his head.

“talk about ‘i’ll take care of her.’”

you laugh softly but you lightly jake’s head. he looked really cute. sleeping like a baby.

“y/n…” jake says  slurring in his sleep.

“you and aera,” he lets out a hiccup, “are the best thing,” another hiccup, “that’s ever happened to me.”

for so long, you were so scared that when you let someone in your life, they’d leave you. for a while, you thought that you were content that it was just you and your daughter against the world. but eventually, this man right here, drunk and sleep talking is going to be a good father to aera. this man right here is the one you want to spend the rest if your life with.

you’ve been dating for a while now and he has been dropping by your place almost every day. so you asked him to move in with you. it wasn’t anything new except that jake doesn’t have to drive before he gets to see you and aera.

and when you slept at the same bed for the first time, it was a little awkward. but like before, both of you adjusted and got used to it.

you and jake would cuddle before you go to bed. he’d be the big spoon, whether you were facing behind him or you were lying on his chest.

“you know, i should’ve asked you sooner.”

“be grateful that i said yes in a heartbeat.”

“oh, thank you, sir jake.” you teasingly thank him like he was a knight.

the rest of the night, you’d have tickle fights until both of you will snuggle until you sleep.

but like any other relationship, there were always misunderstandings and conflicts.

“jake, all i'm saying is that we don’t have enough money to buy a new place.”

“y/n, i have enough to get us one.”

“didn’t it come across your mind that we should be buying it together?”

“well if maybe your job was—”

“what, jake? if i were a teacher, earning a monthly salary like you?”

“y/n, that’s not what i meant.”

but you walked out before he could finish. you didn’t talk to jake for the rest of the night. jake waa in the living room while you stayed in your bedroom. you were thankful that aera was oblivious to the situation.

after an hour, jake went inside your room and you were facing behind him.

“y/n…”

you didn’t say anything.

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said that.”

“you think?”

“i just thought that if we get a new place, we’d finally settle in a home as a family. but truth is, wherever you are…you are my home.”

you finally turn around, but all you could do was stare at jake as he waits for you to say something.

“did you say family?”

‘yeah. i did.”

you didn’t think before hugging jake. he hugs you back, burying his face on your neck.

you and jake agreed that when the time is right, you’ll get a new place and everything else will fall into place.

you’ve been thinking for a while about what jake said. you did consider moving to a new place but your savings weren’t enough. but you also wanted to start a new life with jake in it.

so you decided to find a full-time job as an art teacher for elementary students. hoping that you’ll have enough income for your family’s future. and no, you didn’t force yourself. you choice this because it’s for the ones you love.

“ms. y/n, am i doing a okay?”

“you’re doing great, jungwon!” you give your student a big smile.

“niki you’re doing great too!”

you never fail to compliment your students. you might not have the best audiences when you were young. but you didn’t want to crush children’s dreams when they remind you of how you were.

“okay, kids. don’t forget that your homework is due tomorrow.”

you were thankful that your class was the last one. you were in the middle of fixing your things when someone knocked at the door.

“hey.”

“hey. your class is done?”

“yeah. well, i clocked out early.”

oh, right. jake finally became a full-time math teacher. both of you work at the same school. he thought that he should be helping you so you can get a new place. besides, it’s a great opportunity for him to go home with you and aera.

“are you not feeling well?” you stand up and held jake’s forehead but he shakes his head.

“actually, we are going out for a while.”

your eyes grew wide, “where are we going?”

“i’ll tell you when we get there.”

“jake.”

“it’s going to be fun,” you raised your brow at jake then he says, “i promise.”

next thing you knew, you and jake were in the car taking the route to  your hometown. the next surprising thing is when he parked in front of your old school.

“what are we doing here?”

jake just gives you a smile before getting out of the car. he opens the door for you, kneeling down.

“come with me.”

it might seem weird that jake always makes your heart flutter for the bare minimum but heck, this is jake sim we’re talking about.

both if you were walking down the hallways of the school. it felt weird walking in the same place where you called jake’s name to get his attention. now, you’re holding each other’s hand.

“don’t worry, the teachers know that we’re visiting.”

“any reason why we’re visiting?”

“when we reach the end of the hall, you’ll know.”

so you and jake continue walking. both of you stop then jake holds your hand.

“for this part, i'm going to need you to close your eyes.”

you were hesitant at first but you did what jake asked. he was holding your hand the whole time you walked with your eyes closed. then he stopped.

“wait a minute.”

jake’s lets go if your hand.

“you can open them now.”

you were greeted with lights behind jake. the banner with the sign, “will you accept me?” then you realized that this is how you confessed to jake in high school. and you’re in the same room.

jake was holding a bouquet with pink, white, and red roses with baby’s breath. and he had a ring on his other hand.

“y/n, i never would’ve thought that my boring, plain, life would be so colorful, vibrant, and joyful. you and aera…i couldn’t imagine how my life would turn out if you weren’t in my life. you let me become part of your life, and i want to spend my remaining days with you and our family.”

“so,” jake kneels down in front of you. the action caught your breath away.

“will you accept me?”

you gave yourself a minute to process what was happening. and when you did, you finally say…

“jake, i appreciate what you have done but…

“it would be a shame if i don’t say yes.”

you laugh and you let your tears fall on your face.

“yes, yes, yes.”

 jake stands up and finally gives you a tight hug. you bury your face in his chest.

jake kisses your head and whispers, “i love you.”

you lift your head up, “i love you.”

the last time you fell in love, things might not have gone the way you wanted them to. you doubted a lot of things and distanced yourself. then you met a man who proved to you that you deserve a second chance.

this time, you were sure that it will be different and will be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

***

epilogue

[diorcities]

⠀   ⠀ ── 𖥻 🍭‧₊˚⊹ nct dream on your period !

suggestive. mdni. library

haechan can sleep with you for hours, as long as you need it. the pain gives you no rest, and you try to confront it in silence to not overwhelm the boy sleeping next to you. between dreams, you have heard him wake up occasionally to check that you are better, and you have not thought about anything other than pretending to be asleep so that he gets some rest. so you are there, staring at the ceiling as a blaze of pain collapses you and grips your insides. you doze and doze until you finally fall into the arms of morpheus; the pain has subsided a bit since you last woke up.

you stretch, feeling your muscles stiff and exhausted from a terrible nap, but feeling that you can finally find some sleep: the pain has almost completely disappeared. the sun's rays have been extinguished by the thin curtains of the alcove and you hear the small cooing of nocturnal animals below haechan's soft snoring. maybe that's why you don't notice it at first; your hand goes to your belly and you bump into something.

haechan's hand rests peacefully on your stomach, giving off a sweet body heat. you hear him stirring between dreams before his two brown orbs greet you warmly. “better?” your hand intertwines with his. “better.”

jisung would make you the most delicious teas in the world while you showered with hot water. he knows how bad you feel when your period is about to come, so he would make you your favorite pajamas and together while listening to music. he would make you sleep on his chest while caressing your lower back to somehow relieve your menstrual pains, whisper sweet things in your ear or simply sing to you in an attempt to divert your attention to him. “you know what i read somewhere?” you hear his voice ask as you are about to fall asleep. you hum in response, “making love helps.”

“ji, dear. i think it only applies to headaches.” “oh,” he would say, stubbornly. “i'm sure i read it somewhere, i'll look it up for you.”

mark buys you pads when your period is three days early. she'd probably try to buy them in your favorite color, even if it's just the wrapper. he'd be on the phone with you while reciting in whispers the details of the towel package, and at this point, you don't know who's more embarrassed between the two of you.

“mark, honey, can you hurry up?”

“oh, shit, yes, baby. on my way,” he says he's about to pay but actually asks a salesgirl for help because he doesn't understand entirely about wings and no wings. he'd probably spend hours looking at the rack to buy the perfect towels, see the details on the packaging having a vague idea of the ones he's seen you buy. then when he came home, you know he'll make you tell him how proud you are of him for doing it without help, nevertheless, you ask him to hurry up next time because your ass is frozen from waiting so long.

jeno knows when you're in pain, and he finds himself in a conjunction of what's the best thing he can do in situations like that. it's obviously hard to know for sure what to do when he'll never be able to experience what you're feeling. “talk to me,” he whispers softly, hovering over your body but without touching you, fearing that he could make the situation worse by looking at your body contorted in the least painless position you found for your cramps. “let me die.” also, it doesn't help the drama you possess without alteration at times like those.

he leaves the room for a whole ten minutes and you think «damn he did let me die» but then he returns. you are filled with gentle kisses while a warm compress is deposited in your stomach. “is it too hot?” he wants to know, looking at you with worried doe eyes. suddenly you're out of speech at the sweet gesture, feeling flustered and warm by it even tho he surely did the same on other occasions. “too hot.” you think out loud, causing jeno to check the compress. “you sure?” he asks, receiving a pretty stunned “uh-huh” from you.

he peeks at you, and it all seems to fit in his head. a big smile appears on his lips when he leans to kiss you as he decides to play along. “should we try another method?”

taking hot showers with renjun is always fun. without worrying about anything since the bathroom is always dark except for scented candles on the countertop. having long, tender kissing sessions while his soft hands caress your waist, back pressing the tiles from the wall. hands brushing his wet hair out of his hair. smiling in each other's mouths, before you feel something warm go down your crotch. “okay! we need to stop.” because you've never tried doing it while on your period, and asking renjun would be pretty embarrassing. however, he only moves his kisses to your neck, “If you need me, just say it.”

he lets you go as he hums a melody, feeling him lather his hair. going silent out of nowhere before he whines softly, “something's wrong?” you ask him, trying to focus your eyes on his dark silhouette. “it got into my eye!”

jaemin would be so kind and understanding when he sees you start to cry after you have said something rude to him. he knows you are in a vulnerable and emotional moment, so he empathizes completely with you even when he cannot and will not be able to experience what you are going through. you are so upset and in a bad mood, that you don't register when you raise your voice in response to him. you immediately regret doing so, which makes you more irritated; you regret being in this state and regret yelling at your boyfriend when all he wants to do is to help.

you cover your face in grief. “sorry, sorry.” hiccups attack you as you try to hide the terrible state of your riotous emotions. you register no sound other than your disconsolate sobs, and you think jaemin has gone and finally tired of you, which causes you to cry more. little do you know that jaemin is suffering his own internal battle. he knows you don't like to show your sensitive side, should he go away and leave you alone? it must be hard to have colic and have to put up with his nonsense questions, should he apologize? would it make any difference?

so the best he can think to do is to hold you in his arms as he rocks you in his embrace, whispering that there is nothing to apologize for every time you apologize.

chenle doesn't cringe when she sees the dark spot on the sheets, and you sleeping peacefully, oblivious. but he knows how embarrassed you'll be once you wake up, so he gets to work. you once told him how much you craved gummy bears when you were on your period and ever since then, he has had bags and bags of gummy bears in the cupboard. he would remove you from your dreams for a good reason, suggest you shower together and then eat candy while watching a movie.

even when he keeps you from noticing, it's almost impossible; there's a similar stain on the pants you stole from his closet. the embarrassment eats you alive as chenle tries to downplay it. he doesn't budge when you try to take charge, instead, he KICKS you out of his room and tells you to pick a movie while he takes care of the situation. after he's done with the room, he walks into the living room and sits next to you while a weary sigh leaves his lips. “what did my pretty bloody mary pick out for us?.”

[roxtron]

Day 5: Rabbit, Reclaim

AGJGDFJF FINALLY IT'S DAY 5 SO I CAN POST THIS

For some reason everytime i draw him he looks so young because i'm accidentally overcorrecting since i'm used to drawing older characters. So unfortunately he looks way younger than i meant him to lol, whoops.

But wait there's more- AHAHAHA

While I did initially plan this for GGY week I eventually got the idea to use this as an excuse to draw other GGY designs, soo..

(Not sure why tumblr formatted it that way with 1 of them big but it doesn't matter lol)

I've been wanting to do this for a while, I put the tags of each person next to their design but ofc I'm still gonna tag them in the post itself so you can see their art for yourself if you haven't already. But I enjoyed each of these in their own ways so if you don't mind I think I'm gonna type a bit of text next to them..

@chipistrate This was one of the first I drew out of these, the design was pretty fun to draw but sorry if I messed up a few details, it was a bit difficult lol. The mask and goggles are really fun to draw and they make for a cool design, along with all the glowing blue. (and yes, I tried to subtly include the heelies lol)

@lunzi0 This was the first fursuit one I did lol. I adore the little stars in the design, they personalize it so well and make it really unique. I wanna try this design again since I feel like the other ones show my improvement a bit better, but I hope you can appreciate the effort I put in on my first attempt <3

@carouselrabbit This one was really fun to draw, I absolutely love the eye shape/lashes, it stands out and I always love drawing eyes with a bit of eyeliner lol, the daycare theme legwarmers is a cool nod to the balloon boy arcade machine being connected to them, and was just a fun addition in general lol, I like the style of legwarmers what can I say, fnaf changed my fashion sense a bit. also the subtle paraells to freddy's design is a nice way to connect a bit to gregory himself.

@puhpandas I can't remember if I talked about this design last time I drew it but, overall I'm really happy with how this came out, it's such an indicator of improvement since I started drawing this and I'm glad I was able to draw it better than last time lol. All the patchwork and similarities to Vanny's suit work really well, and the rabbit you chose to base it off of was a good fit, the colors make it a bit more difficult to shade for but i like detail lol, hope you like it too :)

@dykevanny I knew I wanted to do this since I started but I wasn't sure if I'd have time, and I'm glad I did! I hope you don't mind I combined aspects from the first design I saw and the second one you replied to my ask with, I liked the big purple sleeves lol. (I just realized after doing all the shading I forgot to include the oil splatter on his jacket, sorry!) It was definitely a bit difficult due to the head shape being so different but.. fluffy. i love drawing fluff. And the glowing swirl on the goggles, the shape of the ears, I love a lot about this design. :D

I have a hard time with writing compliments but I wanted to get some of those thoughts out, some of the things I like about these designs apply to multiple lol. I adore every one of these designs but I find it hard to put into words what I enjoy about them, hope the original creators are happy with these. <3

I also kept the ggys without as much lighting effects on a separate file, I felt like I should add them since they're a bit brighter lol, makes them look different.

Okay now that I've gotten all that- Sorry this post is so long! I didn't think it'd end up taking up so much space lol. Buut.. working on this drawing and thinking about it and potential context behind it gave me an au idea for it, but I'll put it under the cut since I understand most people probably won't care and just wanna see the drawings lol.

Idk if I'm confident enough to write for it but I'll give a bit of a summary.. I'll keep it under the cut for people who aren't interested and just wanna see the art though lol.

After the main events of SB and Ruin, now that the mimic's been set free, Cassie's taken control of by what's left of Vanny, using her as a new host. But with Cassie being the only human left alive down there, after being reawakened, Dr. Rabbit has nowhere left to go but back to his old host.

Vanessa, Freddy, and Gregory hadn't gone back to the Pizzaplex after ruin, but they were trying to figure out a plan to get Cassie back safely. One night after Freddy and Gregory disappear, Vanessa leaves to go find them. As dangerous as the pizzaplex is, it's her best guess for where they might've gone. She doesn't want to think about what could've happened to them, in denial for the worst case scenario. She tries to keep herself calm by telling herself they probably just left to go back for Cassie, maybe they didn't want her stopping them.. but deep down she knows it can't be that simple. She knows something's off, even if she's not ready to admit it.

When returning to the pizzaplex, she brought along her own V.A.N.N.I. mask, though unlike the one Cassie used, it was clear of the mimic's influence. After all, she was going to need some way to travel through potential blocked routes.

By the time she found Gregory, she'd still been wearing the mask, seeing him down the end of a dark hallway. He looked confused, afraid, his mind was a wreck of conflicting emotions. She started rushing towards him, happy to see him okay, until he finally spoke.

"You need to get out of here."

She stepped back, taking off the mask, only to be faced with the worst case scenario.

It was a wreck, covered in stains and tears, but it was still recognizable. He was wearing that old suit again.

As he waved, she could see Freddy's claws peeking out from the doorway, as the two stepped closer towards her.

So, she did what he told her to do, and started running. She could hear a faint voice coming from the mask, and put it back on before finding somewhere she could hide.

It was his voice again, telling her which way to go.

I guess that was the dramatic way to summarize the main idea behind it, lol. Basically Gregory and Dr. Rabbit work the way Sun and Moon work in Ruin, whichever one is in control in the real world, the other is left behind in the AR world. Or at least that's my interpretation of how they worked, considering Sun was always in mask-on scenes and moon was mask-off. I'm not too sure where the plot might go from there, and maybe I'll consider writing for it, I dunno. I've never wrote fanfic before because I get deadly afraid of writing them out of character lol, but maybe?? I have ideas for scenes and premise and stuff but I don't know if I have the confidence to write it.

But anyway! That was just more of a fun side-idea I came up with while working on this, if you read this far thanks, hope you enjoyed :)

here's some silly little lineless doodles as a reward for making it to the end hehe

now that's what I call an art dump

@ggyweek2024

[sergeantnex]

Zombie!Ghost x Reader: Relearning (Smut)

When I had been called in to work with Ghost, I knew it wasn't good. He had gotten bitten trying to save people. What was his higher-ups response to this? Break his jaw and keep him confined until a cure could be found. I knew this was going to require a lot of time and patience, fixing his broken jaw and figuring out how sentient he was. Most zombies were mindless and out of control, but Ghost... Ghost seemed aware and scared. So I made it my goal to be the only person he had contact with until he was better than the way I first got to him. I knew what I was doing was working because there were signs. His graying cold skin started to gain color and a bit of warmth. His pale blue cloudy eyes began regaining their brown. Each progression was little, but I noticed them and made sure to take pictures of him every day, marking and labeling the pictures.

Ghost seemed nervous, for lack of a better word, when it came to relearning to eat and drink. So I took the lead, showing him and letting him touch me as I did. Before I gently aided him in eating and drinking, making sure to reassure him that it would take time and that I would still be here to help him. Most days were like that, helping him readjust to simple things, but one big thing remained that I felt needed to be done. Bathing him. He still smelled of blood and death, the dried blood and filth still clinging to his skin and clothing. So I went into his old room, gathered up a pair of underwear, sweatpants, and a shirt. They were clean compared to the ruined gear and uniform he was still wearing. I grabbed a soft wash cloth and gentle body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. Once it was all set up in the private bathroom, I went to enter Ghost's room. His pale brown eyes looked up at me as I stepped in. My (h/l) (h/c) softly pulled away from my face and my (e/c) eyes locking with his.

"I've got something different planned today, okay?" I said softly, watching as Ghost tilted his head curiously.

"I wanna give you a shower, help clean away some of the dried blood and grime. Don't worry, I'll be right there, okay?" I reassured him softly as I offered my hand. Ghost was slow in taking my hand before letting me lead him to the private bathroom. I took the time to slowly remove his ruined gear, setting it all in the corner before softly speaking to him.

"I need to remove your mask, okay? I made sure to grab one of your clean balaclavas from your room." He shook his head at my words and stepped back. It broke my heart. He already felt safe with his mask before he was turned, but having people you trust break your jaw and say such crude things probably made him feel even more nervous to take it off.

"Hey, Simon, it's just me with you. There are no cameras, no one else but you and I. It's okay... you're safe with me." I reassured softly as I gently took his hand and gently touched it to my heart. It was small, but the action told him I was honest. I did it to show him I was honest. Every time I said something like that, I touched his hand to my heart. He was slow to give in, but eventually, he let me pull the ruined mask off. I gently sat it on the sink counter before gently working on his ruined clothes. I made sure to set them all aside before I turned to start the water. I kept it a bit lower than room temp to make sure it wasn't too hot or too cold. I looked back at him and softly turned the water so it wouldn't hit his skin directly.

"Okay, big guy, let's get you cleaned up, okay?" I asked with a small loving smile. Ghost gently tugged my shirt before looking at his ruined clothes. It took me a minute to understand what he was asking, but after a bit, it clicked. He wanted me to join him, to guide him like I had been doing for everything else. Smiling, I gently stripped my clothes before softly leading him to the large walk-in shower. The water was a bit colder than my normal temperature, so it was a bit of a shock when I touched it with my arm. Ghost, ever the vigilant one, noticed my shuttered breath and tilted his head.

"I made sure it was perfect for you, so it's a bit cooler than my body's temperature. Don't worry, it's okay, see?" I gently stepped my body under the water to show him I didn't mind too much. Ghost stepped forward and tugged me close to him as though he wanted to keep me warm. I smiled softly and took the time to gently wet the wash cloth and softly wipe his face. I smiled more at the sight of how much he had actually healed. Of course, there was scaring, but there was no longer decaying flesh. I softly wet his dirty blonde hair, taking special care to not pull his hair. All in all, my heart warmed at the progression of his healing. Sticking to our usual form of relearning, I washed myself first before washing him. I started with his hair and face before moving down his neck and chest. With each rinse of the blood and grime, he looked more and more human again.

I gently moved lower as I washed him, kneeling to wash his waist. I did my best not to stare or let my hand linger when I gently began washing his dick. I gently held his length and balls as I continued my work of washing him up. My mind wondered as I absent-mindedly washed his legs. Could he still get hard? Could he still feel desires or needs? Or would that take longer and more healing? I stood to rinse the cloth and ready more soap but froze as Ghost leaned his chin on my shoulder. I softly reached back and gently carded my fingers through his wet hair. I jumped as his hand softly cupped my vulva, his middle finger slipping between my labia majora. I let out a shuttering breath as his middle finger gently pressed against my entrance.

"Ghost -" I started but stopped at the feeling of his hardening dick touching me. I glanced up at him to see his pale brown eyes watching me. "Ghost, do you know what you're doing right now?"

Ghost nodded softly, a low, rumbling purr bubbling up from his throat. I wouldn't lie. It had been years since I've had such intimacy or contact like this. I whined softly when he pulled back a bit before pressing me to bend over. Following his instructions, I bent at the hips, letting him do as he pleased. I gasped at the coolness of his tongue, lapping at my outer lips. His slightly rough tongue reminded me that Ghost wasn't fully human. He still very much could kill me, bite me, and turn me as well. But as quickly as the anxiety rose, it washed away. Ghost pressed his tongue between my labia majora, letting it rub at my clit before trailing to my entrance. His saliva was shockingly warm as it created a contrast to his cool skin. Whining I reached a hand to hold Ghost's rough hand gently squeezing as he ate me out like a starved man.

Ghost stood, his erect dick rubbing against me as he pressed his hips forward. My mind foggy with arousal and my body aching to be fucked, I moved to help him. I softly pressed the tip to my opening and let him press his hips forward again. His thick shaft stretched my walls beautifully, each inch making me feel fuller and fuller. I moaned out as he finally bottomed out, his hips flush against mine. His rough, firm hands gripped my hips as he pulled out before thrusting forward. I gasped loudly and moaned out at the rough pace he was setting instantly. His grip was firm enough to bruise as he kept thrusting into me quickly. I brought my arms up to brace on the wall as I soaked up each time he bottomed out. Ghost brought one hand up to grip the back of my neck as he pinned me to the wall. Growls and groans leaving him as he fucked me so deeply.

Each thrust filled me so perfectly as his balls slapped my clit just enough to add extra stimulation. I could feel my muscles quivering and tensing as my orgasm approached. His tip kissing my cervix each time he sank all the way in. Ghost leaned in mouthing at my shoulder like he was going to bite me. I knew I should've been alarmed, but I my mind was too foggy with the need to cum that it blew caution to the wind. His hot drool gently trailed down my body only to get rinsed away by the water. His disfigured hand covered my mouth a bit as I grew louder with each thrust. My knees began shaking as my walls pulsed around his shaft. I mewled out loudly, the sound muffled by his hand as I began cumming. My hand desperately grasped at his arm as euphoria flooded my body and mind.

A heavy growl filled my muffled hearing as Ghost also began spilling his seed inside me. The fluid was hot as it squirted deep inside me, some of it seeping out past his thick shaft and began running down my legs. My body felt so tired and yet so satisfied as Ghost pulled away. I could feel his eyes take in the sight of the mess he made of me before a pleased rumble filled the quiet. I felt oddly content and relaxed at what happened. It took me a few minutes to regain my strength before I turned the water off and exited the shower. Ghost following closely behind, I took time to grab his towel and dry him off before helping him get dressed. Once I fixed his mask, I began drying and dressing myself. Ghost's cool fingers softly scooped his leaking seed before lifting it to my lips. Without hesitation, I licked his cum off his finger drawing another pleased rumble from him.

"This better not mess with my body, mister." I lightly scold him. Ghost merely rumbled and held me close a bit. I smiled and led him back to his room before laying on his bed with a soft sigh as my legs felt weak from him fucking me in the shower. Ghost climbed next to me, where he softly held me close. A sense of safety and warmth washed over me, letting my tired body subconsciously lure me to sleep. I knew no one, and nothing could touch me as long as I had Ghost with me. No matter if he was human or not, I knew I was safe with him.

"I love you, Simon..." I whispered as I fought to keep my eyes open. My mind drifted between reality and the dream world as I fought to stay awake. His cool hand gently moved to play with my hair as he watched me.

"Love... you..." His words were deeper and more gravelly, more so than his usual. Smiling sleepily, I snuggled closer to him, letting my body give in to tiredness.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I gotta start somewhere. I've been learning a lot about indigenous history and activism as I work on deconstruction, and a sentiment I come across a lot is bitterness towards Christianity. I cannot emphasize enough how much I fully understand. The rough bit is that sometimes when I read their work, I get the implication that there's nothing worth saving in the Church/Christianity- that to hold on to it is to hold on to all the colonialism and white supremacy and yuck.

As a disabled trans Christian, I get that, but it still hurts. I love God and am a Christian despite everything. I want to be an ally to indigenous people, but I want to follow God this way too. I know those aren't mutually exclusive, but it feels that way sometimes. Do you have any insight for me to find peace in this regard?

Thank you.

Hey there, thanks for the question, sorry for the delay!

This is something I've also wrestled with — a question I ask myself over and over, and probably always will. I cannot offer you peace, because as Jeremiah 6:14 says, "There is no peace!" — not while our faith continues to be wielded as a weapon against so many peoples. What I can offer you are some of the thoughts that have allowed me to continue to be Christian with hope that this faith can be better than what it's long been misused for, and the resolve to do my part to make it so.

First, that Christianity isn't unique in being co-opted by colonialist powers.

Any belief system can be twisted for violence, and many have been. If Christianity didn't exist, white supremacy still would — colonialist powers would have found a different belief system to twist into justifying their evils.

That absolutely does not absolve us from reckoning with the evils that have been done in Christianity's name! This isn't about shutting down critiques of Christianity with "uh well it could have been any religion" — as things played out, Christianity is the religion responsible for so much harm, and we need to acknowledge that and listen to groups who tell us how we can make some form of reparations.

But for me at least, there is some comfort in understanding that Christianity isn't, like, inherently evil or something. Recognizing that it isn't unique even in its flaws helps me look at the problem with clearer eyes, rather than wallowing in guilt and shame, if that makes sense.

Next, that there are Indigenous Christians, and Black Christians, and other Christians of color — that oppressed peoples have found things worth cultivating within Christianity! If they can find something worthwhile in this faith, it would be arrogance for me to deny it.

For instance, even when white slaveholders edited Bibles to remove too much discussion of liberation, even when white preachers emphasized verses about slaves being obedient to their masters, many enslaved people recognized how Christian faith actually affirms their equality and the holiness of their desire for liberation.

Black Theologian Howard Thurman opens his 1949 book Jesus and the Disinherited with a question asked to him by a Hindu man who knew the harms white Christianity had done to both their peoples: “How can you, a black man, be Christian?” The long and short of Thurman’s answer is that, in spite of the pain and exploitation too often inflicted by Christians in positions of power, the oppressed have always been able to see past that misuse of the Christian message to the true message lived out by Jesus Christ: a message of liberation for all.

For more thoughts on why and how to keep being Christian in spite, in spite, in spite...I invite you to look through my #why we stay tag.

___

How I wish that Christianity had never gotten tangled up in Empire! but it did, and it still is, and because for good or ill I cannot help that my spirit is stubbornly drawn towards the Triune understanding of the Divine, the best I can do is to use my privilege and what small influence I have within Christian institutions to move us towards decolonization. What some of that's looked like on the level of my personal beliefs:

I am firmly against any form of proselytizing. I don't support evangelism financially, I speak out against it, I don't platform it. (If someone wants to hear about my faith, they'll come to me — I don't run after them. And if someone does want to have that conversation, I aim to make it a dialogue, where we are learning from each other.)

I continuously work to recognize and uproot Christian supremacy within myself — the beliefs I didn't even realize where there until I started digging. That has included challenging any inkling within myself that Christianity is the "best" or "most right" religion. (One book that's helped a lot with that is Holy Envy by Barbara Brown Taylor.)

I seek wisdom from and relationship with Christians of color. Their insights are vital to our faith, and I try to use what small influence I have to uplift them.

On that last note, here are some resources I recommend as you continue to explore these questions:

This First Nations Version of the Christian Bible is gorgeously written, and a great way to explore scripture through a Native lens.

Native by Kaitlin B. Curtice is a lovely poetic memoir that explores how one person has sought to hold both her Christian faith and Potawatomi identity within herself. (She also has a new book out that I haven't read yet but really want to!)

God is Red: A Native View of Religion by Vine Deloria Jr.

Rescuing the Gospel from the Cowboys by Richard Twiss

I haven't read any of these 4 books but they look good too

This video with advice to non-Indigenous Christians

If anyone has any resources to add, please do!

[thenukacolachallenge]

In defense of the One Piece Live Action Adaptation’s stylistic choices: A Cosmetologist’s Perspective

Hello! My name is Dia, and I’ve been a licensed cosmetologist since 2015(almost a decade now!). For those unaware of what exactly that entails, cosmetology is traditionally defined as ‘the professional skill or practice of beautifying the face, hair, and skin’. For me specifically, I have worked in the fields of hairstyling/haircutting/hair coloring, skincare, nail care, and makeup application(both traditional makeup and FX makeup) in my eight years of being licensed to work in these industries.

The reason I’m making this post today is to talk about the Netflix adaptation of the hit manga/anime One Piece, and specifically to address a lot of complaints I’ve seen about the wardrobe, makeup, and hair choices of the main cast thus far. I’ve seen quite a bit in the way of complaints, and a lot of it seems to be, to put it as politely as I can, not based in reality of how makeup, hair, and acting in general works, and I’d like to address some of it to possibly explain why certain choices were made, to maybe help people come to a better understanding of the why and how of these sorts of decisions.

I’d like to also, before I dive in, note that I am not in any way, shape, or form affiliated with this production! These are merely my personal thoughts and speculation as someone with some experience in this field. None of this is set in stone unless I provide evidence from the cast and crew to back my claims up. As well, I’d like to point out that I have next to no experience working on film sets(I have worked on VERY small productions in the past, for things that go up on sites like Youtube and not Netflix lmao), but I am married to a person who has a degree in film and has worked on live production sets before, and I did defer to them for a lot of the knowledge that I lack with live action production specifically.

I’d also like to point out that while I’m not mad at anyone who has the critiques I cover in this post, I may come across as a bit exasperated. I promise this isn’t me being angry at anyone, but more of just.... I’ve seen the same critiques over and over again, and to me, a lot of the choices seem fairly obvious as to why they were made, and some of the critiques come across as extremely silly to me. This is of course due to my own background related to these sorts of things. I promise I mean no offense or disrespect to anyone saying these things! I just want to make this to be able to help others understand why production may have made the choices they did.

Now, under the cut, I’ll be discussing some common complaints I’ve heard with regards to this production, and provide some potential explanation as to why these changes were made. On to the post! It is quite hefty, so please bear with me.

~

First and foremost, the most common complaint I’ve seen thus far is some variation of the phrase “I’ve seen cosplayers that look more accurate to the characters than this show does,” and I’d like to address this one first, as I think it’s the one that probably frustrates me the most. It specifically frustrates me because comparing cosplayers to actors feels like an apples to oranges situation. The two groups are designed to do entirely different things! Cosplayers do typically look more like the characters they portray than a live action actor will, and that’s a very common occurrence, but there’s a reason for that: the two groups are not doing the same thing. 

Both cosplayers and actors put a huge amount of time and effort into their work, and I love cosplay personally. However, cosplayers are typically in their outfits for 8-10 hour days at most for a weekend, doing things like photoshoots where they have to pose, walking around conventions, and maybe filming a small amount of video(Not to say that this takes no effort! Please do not take this as such, I have helped friends with cosplays and I fully understand and appreciate the level of dedication and hard work that goes into it!). Actors, on the other hand, are in hair and makeup on set for 10-12 hours a day(if not longer) for weeks to months on end, and have to be fully in character while filming, as well as(specifically for a show like One Piece) doing things like stunt work, being submerged in water, and being on boats with lots of wind and ocean spray. There are certain things you simply cannot do, hair/makeup/costume-wise as an actor that you can as a cosplayer, so I really don’t think this comparison in specific is being very fair to the actors and the crew who are in charge of makeup, hair, and wardrobe in this case.

I’ll be getting into a lot more specifics below, but I will be deferring to my main point here very often, which is this: The safety and comfort of the actors is far more important than 1-to-1 accuracy in the way cosplayers can do, especially for minor changes in appearance.

Now that I’ve addressed that specifically, I’d like to move onto some common complaints I’ve heard for each specific main cast member, and my opinion on these complaints, as well as listing potential reasons as to why these things may have been changed!

~

We’ll start with everyone’s favorite funky little pirate king, Monkey D. Luffy:

For Luffy, the number one complaint I’ve seen is the live action’s choice in shoes. in the manga/anime, Luffy wears and fights in flip-flops, but this was changed in the live action. This was changed for a very simple reason, and Emily Rudd, the actor that portrays Nami, actually addressed this on Instagram while being asked by a fan:

Simply put, trying to do the kind of stunt work that Luffy has to do is not safe in a shoe like a flip flop. This is something that falls very completely under my original point of the comfort and safety of the actors being more important than 100% accuracy. It would be entirely too easy for Iñaki or someone he’s in a scene with to get hurt if he weren’t wearing the proper footwear. Fairly simple explanation there!

This is really the only gripe with Luffy costume-wise I could find, to be honest! I have seen a few people saying that he doesn’t have his signature undereye scar, but he does, although it’s not as visible as it is in the original work:

They kept him fairly true to the spirit of his original character, and although I don’t know why they chose to give him this specific potato shoe footwear, it is what they went with, and the main takeaway is that it was for safety reasons.

~

Onto our favorite wayward booze-loving swordsman, Roronoa Zoro:

Similarly to Luffy, I’ve only seen one main complaint regarding Zoro, and it involves his use of swords. In the anime/manga, Zoro has pioneered a specific fighting style called “Santoryu”, known in English as “Three Sword Style”: one sword in each hand, and a third in his mouth.

I’ve seen several people wondering where his third sword(the one that goes in the mouth) is from the trailers, and I was initially wondering this as well, since in most of his action scenes that have been revealed so far, he seems to only be holding either one sword or two. However, there was a brief clip(I’m talking, like, maybe one second) of him utilizing his three-swords style in the teaser trailer released in mid-June:

Now, as to potential reasons as to why this seems to be the only clip of him thus far using all three of his swords:

1. Again, this could be for the safety of the cast. Obviously being a cartoon character, Zoro wouldn’t have to worry about potential damage to his jaws and teeth, but Mackenyu, Zoro’s actor, is a real person who does have to worry about such things, especially as an actor who relies on(among other things) his facial expressions to earn a living. Carrying something like a sword, even a prop sword, in your mouth for long periods of time cannot be good for the health of your jaw and teeth, and I could understand if they chose not to film him with a sword in his mouth very often for this reason alone. 2. It could also be he uses all three swords less often so he can still deliver lines while fighting. In an SBS(”Shitsumon o Boshū Suru”, when translated means “I’m Taking Questions”, essentially an AMA for mangaka to answer questions their readers may have), Eiichiro Oda, the author of One Piece, once answered a question about how Zoro was able to talk with a sword in his mouth with quite a funny answer:

Sadly, in real life, Mackenyu cannot speak through his heart as Zoro does, so it’s possible that some of the scenes have been changed for ease of dialogue. 3. It’s also entirely possible that he uses his three-sword style as often as he does in the anime and manga, and the small amount of what we’ve seen in the trailers isn’t necessarily the full picture. I imagine this is something we’ll have to wait for the full series to drop to find out definitively one way or another!

~

Now, onto our lovely citrus-fruit-loving navigator, Nami!

I have seen two main complaints with Nami’s looks, and I’ll start with her hair, as it’s the more common one I’ve been seeing. I have seen a large number of people saying that her hair looks like(and I am slightly paraphrasing here) “a bad cosplay wig”, and honestly? I think this is just not true, and either comes from unrealistic expectations or just plain being mean-spirited.

First and foremost, this is very obviously human hair:

Now, I don’t know what kind of bad cosplays y’all have been seeing, but the ones I’ve seen start with synthetic hair wigs, not human hair ones(This is not to say synthetic wigs are inherently bad for cosplay! Simply that they are much harder to work with, though they are cheaper than human hair wigs). As well, I know for a fact Emily Rudd got her hair done similarly to this, to the point where I wasn’t actually sure that this WAS a wig at first(this picture comes directly from her Instagram account):

This is very obviously almost the exact same haircut as the wig chosen for Nami, save with more layers, and even the color choices are similar. To say that this wig looks like a “bad cosplay” is honestly just flat-out wrong in my professional opinion, and moreover, it’s quite rude. In addition, to me at least, it really looks like the wig was styled to resemble anime-esque hair, which is actually quite common among cosplayers. If anything, I have the same complaint on Nami’s wig that I also have with Sanji’s(which I’ll definitely be touching on later): it’s not thick enough. Both Nami and Sanji’s wigs just seem like they could use more hair attached to the cap in general, but especially for Nami’s, I really don’t think it’s as bad as people are saying.

I think this “bad cosplay wig” complaint specifically is mainly coming from people who only see the tail end of cosplay productions, which tends to be photos that are often times edited to look a certain way, which can often include doctoring the hair. There’s nothing wrong with a cosplayer editing their photos, for the record, but it can absolutely give unrealistic expectations to those who aren’t familiar with this practice, and I personally think this may be where these comments are coming from. Obviously you cannot photoshop every frame of a live action production, at least not without a lot of time and effort on the behalf of the post-production team, and I highly doubt Netflix would have greenlit something like that for such a small detail. It’s simply not realistic.

As well, I do find it quite interesting that I have seen far less complaints about the wigs of characters such as Zoro or Sanji(played by Taz Skylar(as stated previously, I have seen complaints about Sanji’s wig and I will be speaking on that later)) than I have about Nami’s. I’m not saying it’s outwardly misogynistic, but it does make one consider such things.

The only other complaint I’ve seen directed towards Nami’s live action look(and truth be told, I’ve seen this one far less than the comments on the hair) is the discrepancy between Emily Rudd’s eye color and Nami’s. As you can see from the above photos, Emily Rudd does not have brown eyes, which are the color of Nami’s eyes:

Now, I didn’t actually see this complaint until after the first full trailer dropped on July 21st. Specifically, I saw someone saying that it seemed strange that Steven John Ward, who portrays Dracule Mihawk in the series, is wearing colored contacts to better resemble his character, while Emily is not.

Now, there could be a lot of potential reasons for this, including that Emily may simply be not wearing colored contacts because they irritate her eyes(going back to my original point of the comfort and safety of the cast). But more importantly, I think, is that Mihawk’s unique eyes are directly related to his character, specifically through his epithet: Hawkeye. This is a seemingly important enough part of his character, to the point where it’s directly mentioned in his title. Nami has no such distinctions with her eye color, so I really don’t think it’s as important, and at the end of the day, it takes nothing away from her character to have a different eye color. So, while I don’t know the particular reason she doesn’t have brown contacts, I also don’t think it’s nearly as important for that detail to be as canonically correct as it is for Mihawk. To me, this particular comparison is another apples to oranges situation.

~

Onto our beloved liar, God Usopp himself:

Of course, the number one talking point I’ve seen about the live action Usopp is that Jacob Romero Gibson, Usopp’s actor, is missing his trademark long nose.

As One Piece fans know, one of Usopp’s characteristic traits is his tendency to lie. His name, Usopp, comes from a portmanteau of the Japanese word “uso”, which means lie, and Aesop, the famous Greek storyteller and the namesake for Aesop’s Fables. Because of his propensity towards tall tales, Usopp’s anime and manga character designs also added a reference to another character who’s known for lying, Pinocchio, whose nose grows when he lies. Thus, Usopp in his cartoon form has a long nose!

Considering how many gags in the story involve Usopp’s nose, a lot of fans were surprised to see that aspect of him not carried over into the live action. After the drop of the official trailer, seeing that the character Arlong had his signature sawshark-esque long nose in prosthetic form, there was even more confusion about this choice.

(As an aside, Arlong’s costuming choices will not be discussed in this post, as it’s long enough with just the main cast, but believe me, I do have Opinions on it lmao)

Now, as to why the show chose to not give Jacob a prosthetic long nose to better match Usopp’s appearance, I don’t know the specifics. I can only speculate, and really, the only things I could feasibly come up with are the following:

1. It’s entirely possible that for whatever reason, Jacob is unable to wear a prosthetic nose. This could be due to several things, including allergies to either the prosthetic material itself or the adhesive used to attach it, or the makeup required to blend the prosthetic into his skin. If this is the case, then it of course goes back to my main point here that the comfort of the cast takes precedence over accuracy to the source material. 2. The only other explanation that really makes sense to me is that they did in fact attempt the nose in costume fitting, and either the absurdity of it was just either too distracting to audiences/the crew/Netflix execs/possibly even Oda himself, or it could have potentially been a problem during stunt work. Usopp primarily fights with a slingshot, and I have no experience with slingshots so this is just me taking a stab in the dark, but it’s possible that the extra length on the nose could have possibly messed with the actor’s depth perception while attempting to act out Usopp’s fight scenes.

Overall, I genuinely don’t know why they decided to axe Usopp’s long nose. But at the end of the day, I know that for me specifically, this is a minor detail, and not something I see as a genuine problem, nor will it ruin the immersion for me. That being said, I can definitely understand the criticisms here. I’m hoping that a lot of these changes will eventually be answered, perhaps in some behind-the-scenes footage that comes out after the show’s release.

The only other comment on Usopp’s costuming that I’ve seen is much more easily explainable, and I also haven’t seen nearly as much in the way of commenting on it: Usopp’s hair is not in dreads in the anime and manga, and instead is kept natural, especially before the timeskip.

As we can see in the above picture, Usopp seems to keep his hair fairly natural, whereas Jacob, Usopp’s actor, sports dreads in his portrayal of Usopp, as seen in the above photo.

Luckily, I haven’t seen very many comments on this, and I think that’s a good thing, since the explanation seems fairly simple to me. Usopp in canon is based off of (mostly unused in this day and age, for good reason: a lot of the design is highly based off racist blackface caricatures) old-school anime portrayals of Black/African people. As well, in an SBS, a fan asked where the Straw Hats would be based out of if One Piece was set in the real world:

As stated above, Usopp would come from Africa! As well, if I recall correctly, Oda had a hand in casting the live action adaptation, which all points to the undeniable proof that Usopp is and has always been intended to read as Black/African in some form.

The reason I bring this all up specifically, is because of the way African hair grows. Obviously not all Black/African people are a monolith, and even among curly haired people there are different curl tightness and growth patterns, but for a large portion of people of African descent, their hair would not grow similarly to the way Usopp’s is portrayed in his cartoon form. His hair is indeed curly, but it grows down, similar to most wavy or straight hair types. This is especially evident in his post-timeskip hair growth:

Usopp’s hair, which was once above his shoulders before the two year time skip, now extends down past his shoulders. This is not necessarily inaccurate to Black/African hair types, as, since stated previously, different curl patterns and tightness exist, and even with super tight curl patterns, if grown out long enough, the hair will eventually grow down, due to the weight of the hair strands. But for a lot of Black/African hair types, the natural hair tends to grow outwards, instead of downwards(or at the very least it grows outwards before it begins to grow downwards). This type of hair is typically referred to as afro-textured hair, and is the namesake for the afro, a hairstyle wherein someone with afro-textured hair combs out their natural hair growth in the shape it naturally grows.

Now, I’m not familiar with Jacob Romero Gibson’s work prior to One Piece, and I have never seen his hair without his dreads, therefore I can’t say with 100% certainty how his hair grows naturally. However, he does have an Instagram account, and on this account he has photos of himself. I looked through his account, and although he doesn’t seem to have any photos of himself without his dreads(indeed, they seem to be his signature hairstyle) as an adult, he does have a few photos of himself from his childhood. I don’t personally feel comfortable linking his baby photos to this post, so I’m not going to do so here. However, they are visible there, and from what I can see from those photos, he does indeed have afro-textured hair. This may not be 100% accurate to how his hair grows now as an adult, as lots of things can change hair growth types and curl patterns, including things such as hormones, medications, stress levels etc. In my professional opinion, I feel fairly confident in saying that Jacob most likely has afto-textured hair, and therefore his natural hair likely wouldn’t fully grow in the exact same way that Usopp’s does. 

Overall, I only bring all of this up to say that if Jacob did have his hair in a natural, non-protective style in his portrayal of Usopp, I feel that the same people who are complaining about the dreads now would likely complain that his natural hair doesn’t match Usopp’s exactly. Either way, Usopp’s hair is not a huge characteristic that defines who he is as a character(especially not in the way that his nose is), and therefore I don’t think that him having dreads in the live action takes away from the character in any way.

~

Finally, we’ll discuss the Straw Hat crew’s first-rate cook who attacks through kicks, Black Leg Sanji:

Sanji has the unfortunate position of being the character who’s had the most changes to his design from his cartoon to the live action, and there’s a lot of criticism that’s been lobbed his way. Some of it I think is fair, but there’s also quite a bit that I think is honestly quite silly. So without further ado, I’ll go through the four main critiques I’ve seen, and my opinions of each.

Let’s start with the one I’ve heard the most often, and the one that’s easily my least favorite to hear about at this point: the missing eyebrow swirl. Maybe it’s just because Sanji is personally my favorite on the crew and I’m just paying the most attention to him, but my god, the way some people are going on about the eyebrow, you’d think the showrunners made the decision to axe his signature curly eyebrow specifically to spite the Sanji fangirls. I think a lot of the complaining about the lack of eyebrow swirl would simply be changed to complaining about how bad the eyebrow swirl would look if they’d tried to keep it, and I’ll explain why below.

Like many of the costuming changes made to the live action adaptation, I don’t know the exact reasoning as to why they decided to get rid of the eyebrow swirl. As someone who has worked as a makeup artist, however, I do have a theory as to why they got rid of it, and my theory is fairly simple: it is just not really very possible to create a realistic-looking eyebrow swirl that reads well on a film camera.

Yes, the makeup team could have very easily drawn on a swirl with a brow pencil or some pomade and called it a day. However, it would have been fairly obvious that it was in fact drawn on, especially on a film shoot. I’ve seen a lot of people complaining about the missing swirl point to both cosplayers and stage actors as “proof” that it could be done, but again, this is an apples to oranges situation. Stage makeup(like that used for stage actors), photoshoot makeup(like what cosplayers would employ), and live action film makeup are three entirely different types of makeup application, and while they each have their own merits, that doesn’t inherently mean they translate into other mediums, and this is something that you have to learn fairly early on as a makeup artist if you want to continue getting work. If you are doing makeup professionally, you have to keep a lot of things in mind, one of the biggest things being how your work will read on camera, specifically the camera your canvas will be in front of. You have to keep in mind things like flash photography, shine versus matte, whether or not post-production editing will be involved, and the like. A fairly popular example of this is makeup influencer James Charles’ old meet-and-greet photo, which has become a meme since surfacing. Charles was used to only doing makeup and being photographed a certain way, leading to him using a setting powder that didn’t lend well to flash photography, and made him look like he was wearing makeup that was far too pale for his skin tone, when in reality it was just a makeup product that didn’t work for the kind of camera it was in front of:

Another example is basically the entire Cosmo Queens video series done for Cosmopolitan magazine’s youtube page, and I’ll use Kandy Muse’s video as a specific example, since she uses her natural brows in addition to her makeup. This series focused on the makeup of drag queens, and it’s very obvious when watching these videos that there’s a huge discrepancy between makeup meant for the stage and makeup meant for other avenues. Drag queens typically are live performers, and there is a common saying among drag artists, which is to “paint(apply makeup) for the back of the house(so that even those in the back row can see your makeup)”. On stage, Kandy Muse’s makeup is quite stunning, but it’s very clear that it’s not fully meant for the editorial style that Cosmo uses during these videos:

Even from a distance, you can very clearly see where Kandy’s real eyebrows sit versus her makeup. And while this is obviously an extreme example, it’s even more obvious when zoomed in, which film cameras have to do often in order to capture the expressions of their actors:

In a similar vein, film cameras, which are typically designed to catch a lot of definition and lend better to a more realistic look, likely would not be very kind to a drawn on part of an eyebrow. Without any hair growing there naturally to make the eyebrow makeup look more realistic, it would be very obvious that it was makeup, and would likely be more distracting to audiences(especially first-timers to the series; it’s important to keep in mind that Netflix would want to cater to those people as well as long-time One Piece fans) than omitting it entirely would. In addition, we have to take into account the actor, Taz Skylar, and his natural hair growth and the direction of his brows.

As is visible from the photo, Taz Skylar’s natural brow grows downwards at the end, whereas Sanji the fictional character’s brow grows upwards into his swirl at the end. In order to match the character 1-to-1 and change his own natural features, Taz would have to either shave/pluck/wax the entire outer half of his brow(which for an actor would be extremely inconvenient for other projects and would be an absolute pain to grow back out), or he would have to sit longer in the makeup chair to have his brow covered by FX makeup, which takes extra time and effort and could throw off the timing of the entire shoot. In addition, neither of these potential fixes would necessarily make the obviously-drawn-on swirl look good and read well on film. Add on the facts that Taz’s character is fully submerged in water in at least one scene, if not more, and has several fight scenes, and it’s not even a guarantee that the makeup swirl would even last throughout the shoot.

I’ve also seen people say that they could have added the swirl in post, but I think that’s it’s very unrealistic for Netflix to greenlight that for a minor detail such as a singular visible eyebrow.

While I am very sad that they weren’t able to translate Sanji’s signature brow to the live action adaptation, I think a lot of the complaints regarding him not having it and insistence that the production should have included it are entirely overblown, and are mainly being made by people who don’t have a lot of knowledge of what goes into film makeup versus other types of makeup. And while Sanji’s brows are fairly important to his character, this fact doesn’t actually come into the story until far after the timeskip, and we don’t even know if the live action will get another season outside of this one. I really hope this can help explain why they may have made the decision to nix the brow swirl for people who are still concerned about it, since from what I’ve seen, it seems to be the number one point of contention when it comes to live-action Sanji.

Next, I’d like to speak a bit about Sanji’s hair. Now, I have some complaints of my own about the wig used on Taz, but most of the criticism I’ve seen regarding the wig actually revolves around why it doesn’t cover his eye completely, as Sanji’s hair does. This is something that seems fairly obvious to me: Taz has to do a lot of stunt work, and he needs to be able to see! This is a potential safety issue more than anything else, and therefore goes back to my main original point. As well, there’s no real way to make the hair not move without completely overloading it with product, which, again, would be very obvious on a film camera, and likely wouldn’t read nearly as well as people think.

As for me, my personal critiques around the wig are just how sparse it is. Sanji has a lot more hair than is in the wig, and I really think a wig that had a little more hair attached to the base would have looked better. As well, I don’t know if the styling of the wig works for me personally.

I was actually really hoping that the live action adaptation would take cues on Sanji’s hair from the character who Sanji was modeled after. A lot of people still to this day think that Sanji’s appearance is based off Leonardo DiCaprio, specifically his role as Jack Dawson from the hit movie Titanic or his role as Romeo from Romeo and Juliet, but Oda has actually explained in an SBS that this isn’t the case:

Sanji’s looks and his “vibes” are based off of Steve Buscemi’s character Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs, and personally I would have loved to see his live-action hair more closely resemble that, but sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.

Another critique of live action Sanji is that he hasn’t been depicted with his trademark cigarette, and I kind of knew that this would happen from the moment I found out about the live action adaptation. This is not the fault of Tomorrow Studios(the production company), or even Netflix at large, but instead this is largely based off backlash from anti-smoking lobbies. 

(As a former smoker myself, I have a lot of opinions on the ridiculousness of anti-smoking groups going after smoking in fictional scenarios like films and shows, but that’s a gripe for a whole other post lol) 

Netflix notably caught a lot of flack for the depiction of commonplace cigarette smoking in other series, such as Stranger Things, even though the series takes place in the 1980′s, where smoking was incredibly commonplace. The major backlash even got to the point where you can actively see the drop in depictions of smoking between each season. I am hoping they at least give Taz one scene with Sanji’s iconic cigarette, but I’m not holding my breath on this one. I doubt Netflix wants to deal with that backlash again.

Finally, the last big complaint with Sanji’s wardrobe I’ve seen is his signature suit, specifically regarding the fitting of it. Sanji’s suits in the anime/manga tend to be fairly fitted in nature, while the live action once Taz wears, while still having a slightly tapered fit, is a bit baggier than what Sanji typically wears.

This is a fairly straightforward change, in my opinion: if the suit was as form-fitting as Sanji’s are, Taz(and his potential stunt double(I don’t know if he did all of his own stunt work or not)) simply would not be able to move the way Sanji does! This is an issue of cartoon versus reality: Oda is able to depict his characters doing whatever they want in whatever clothing they want. However, real life is sadly not as accommodating, and because of that, Taz’s suit has to be a bit less form-fitting so he can still do all of Sanji’s signature footwork. Going back to my original point, the sacrifice of the fitted suit had to be made so the production could actually work.

~

I tried to touch on all the biggest differences I’ve seen people talk about, and I hope this was helpful to anyone who may have been curious as to why some of these changes were made. Please let me know if I missed anything big or if you have any additional questions/need me to explain anything further, I love what I do and I love being able to have insight like this. Thank you so much if you’ve read this far, and please reblog if you found this post helpful or informative <3

[gangplanksorenji]

Incandescence

Pairing: Kep1er Youngeun x Male Reader

Word Count: 2674

A/N: Hi Orenjideul! Just a quick fic just to get myself into writing once again and this girl made me down bad in a quick amount of time idk why but here it is! Hope you like this quick one... <3

-----------------------------------

-----------------------------------

Multiple screams resonate around the area and the flickering of lights amongst the so-called pandemonium of people is irritating to lay your eyes upon, even so, blinding to see. 

But it doesn't matter. It's even better right now. 

Sure, you want to scream your lungs out with a full-on support of the crowd of people as they perform but you wouldn't miss this chance. Not when a short, black-haired girl invited you as a repercussion from you being a nuisance hours ago before they even started performing (being annoying, in a teasing way, of course).

There's nothing more blinding than her beauty. Nothing more.

“Oh god, Oppa.”, she silently whimpers, a nigh-inaudible cry from your princess is a way to start everything she wants. Of course, she wants this—no, need this.

“Sh-shit, more please!”

Swearing isn't in her vocabulary, yet it's hypocritical in times like this as she can't help but feel good—it's just another unfinished, near-infinite melody of sounds and moans that's just music to your ears. 

Another wants that she'll die to beg for, and you won't let those wants go unattended, so you immediately take action. Latch your lips onto her sharp collarbone, she squirms in delight—she missed this, and so did you. You tend not to mark her, even though at times, you can't help but unleash the devil inside you as you want everybody to know who she belongs to.

“This needy, huh? I understand Youngeun—I really need you too.”

Well, that was quick. 

You don't care about the tough demeanor anymore. You want her—no, need her. As much as you want the sternness inside you to intimidate and maybe even possibly scare her, your softness explodes around her as she herself is a ball of sunshine. 

Yet what she wants is what she'll get. After averting your lips towards her neck and collarbones, you caught her lips again and locked in a tangled kiss. The way she kisses you is so sensational and slow that it's almost perfect—and it's like you can't find another great kisser like her.

“I k-know you kiss me so good, Oppa, but I want t-the real thing now…”

She could have never been more straightforward than this. You yourself, you can't help but get onto the climax immediately.

You lean onto the plain, white-colored wall as you let yourself be relaxed and prepare for what's about to happen.

A mischievous smile emanates on your face as she gets down on her knees slowly, her knees probably shuddering because of the cold marble floor but she doesn't care—she wants you, now.

“Gonna do the thing you're best at?”

“With pleasure, Oppa.”

Her ravenous mouth waters as she hurriedly undresses the clothing blocking her treasured prize. With only just your last bit of defense left, she smirked in victory as carefully yanked down your boxers, your painfully erect length now free from its frustrating restraints and even, almost hitting her in the face.

“So hard for me, Oppa. Did your little kitten turn you on this much?”

“Fuck!”

Just before she finishes her sentence, you squirm in pleasure. It's just from her little pressure exerted by her small, dainty hands, what more she can do when she's balls deep inside your mouth—

Your imagination flew over its limits once Youngeun had her hands on work. She strokes half of your length with a pace that's leisurely slow as she teases your slit playfully, the colorless liquid leaking out of it being the cherry on top. 

“I missed this, Oppa—I really do. I can't wait to see what you have in store for me, again…”

She giggles in excitement as you're deemed powerless from her advances, taking control of your needy, throbbing shaft. You can't think of anything more, or even articulate such words that can further turn her on but it doesn't matter—Youngeun doing everything to please you that you've been deprived off for months is nothing more you can ask for.

“May I, daddy?”

There she is. That's the word you're been wanting to hear to escape from her dirty mouth—it'll be soon like it, literally. 

This isn't something new. Dayeon could deliver peak-subbiness better than Youngeun—but it doesn't matter; don't think about Dayeon, avert your attention to this adorable princess.

Giving her the green light, she wasted no time giving you the experience that falters you. You became weak and powerless once Youngeun's mouth came introduced, accommodating the foreign object with all of her might.

The first few inches were immaculate, too pleasurable to withstand but you will as you wanted to give her what she needs. She lazily bobs her head, up and down, the same motion that's been repeated for at least a dozen of times. She's still struggling, even with only half of your length inside her tight throat, she can't help but gag—the sound so sinful that it arouses you further—and drool all over it.

It might seem like she's not doing a good job in her mind, but for you, she's doing great. You reassure her, stroking her black-colored locks, starting for the scalp and all the way down your arms reach. She didn't increase the pace as you know she can't take more than half of your length in a sudden, yet she wants to prove something—make you proud, that's what she wants.

“Don't need to rush anything—god…”

Your words deaf to her ears as she moved her mouth deeper—deeper into the valley of lust and need—as takes you all in. You were surprised at first but you didn't mind as the seconds passed. Her tight cavern constricts around your throbbing length which adds further stimulation that you absolutely love.

“Fu–ughh—ahh!”

The further gagging and coughing ejects the foreign object inside her mouth, coughing right after. She can't take it all, you know this, yet, who are you to control what she wants? You're willing to give everything to her at this very moment yet she ran over her limits—you reassure her that it's alright, she then smiles in satisfaction but doesn't distract herself onto other things and averted her focus towards where she's best at.

She takes you in, again, the wholeness of your throbbing length. Albeit her sudden inexperience on this field, choking on your cock is definitely what she wants. The accumulated drool, the tears of unbridled lust running down her cheeks and probably, the inevitable wetness of her crotch are the cherries on top, in which you dearly adore.

She's choking but she doesn't care. The marks of her lipstick smudge around the base of your shaft and still, she doesn't care. She doesn't mind how dirty she can be. All she cares about is the delicious meal that she's having fun of and, to serve you pleasure.

“Hey baby—fuck—aren't you gonna perform again? You're making a m-mess on yourself—s-shit…”

“No—that's why I'm giving you everything you want, daddy.”

She kisses your tip after withdrawing to let herself regain oxygen—even with her nostrils open, all she can even smell is the musky scent of your shaft and her strawberry lipstick.

She's bold and brave. You're proud of her because of it yet you can't help but feel anxious. You're afraid that the sinful sounds and moans inside this puny room may not be able to contain it all as everything is getting louder and louder, a tone that is music to your very ears. You didn't care anymore—and it's like someone is going to check you up to the very end of the dressing room and you're glad that it's just the two of you here.

“Fuck, such a good girl for me, huh?”

More slurps and bobs is all it takes for you to feel that familiar tingle in your loins, signaling your very near release. As much as you wanted to explode down her tight cavern of her mouth, you won't wanna waste such a load on her—you need to feel something so bad that you can't help yourself to think about it.

“Stop, baby.”

“Daddy, is a-anything wrong?”

Her eyes are glistening with lust and curiosity. She's confused about your command as she knows you wanted her to suck you off until you explode but she anticipates. What a nice girl for her daddy. She really is.

“Nothing, honestly. I just want to fuck you so bad right now.”

And yes, with her outfit? Oh, you could only do one thing and you'll waste no time doing that. 

She always looked spectacular and breathtaking. The way her flawless features compliments her outfit feels like she came straight from a movie—she looks surreal. Her hair, her body, her face—just her.

“Daddy, please—”

“Please what, baby?”

“Hngg—ahh! Too much, daddy!”

Stimulating her too much is her kryptonite, but you didn't care, because you know that's what she wanted at the first place—it also explains how she's insanely wet as her cunt drips like a leaking faucet, staining the marble floor down below.

“Baby, you gotta let daddy know what do you want baby—”

“Please j-just put it in me, daddy…”

The indulgence of the dance of your fingers down her soppily wet cunt takes her into further submission—even though she was already like that from the start—and you loved every second of it. Her constant, desperate pleas of getting filled, her inevitable cries and her love towards you—yes, it was truly everything you'll ask for.

And maybe even no more. The subsequent pleas of submission were further answered: your cock filling her up to the hilt, just like what she wanted.

This wasn't new, maybe, at least. You'll feel and fill her up whenever she wanted to yet it feels so awkward—

You don't care.

“All I want is you, baby.”

And there your hips goes, stabilizing a rhythm that the both of you were satisfied with—a profound pleasure everlasting between the clashing of both your bodies. You even pulled her hair (not enough to hurt her) to even get a better grip on fucking her as it helped by a lot. The pace was moderate, as you wanted to just let her know how much you love her and it's evident: her soothing, lust-filled moans that reverberated around your ear is enough evidence.

Further getting a better grip of her, you held her waist with both hands as with all of her might, she lets herself just be inches away from you. She takes hold of both of your shoulders to support herself, you then, aiding her as your thrusts become slower, but still filling her up to the hilt.

“Daddy, I l-love you—s-so much—ahh! So m-much, daddy…”

“I love you too baby, more than anything in this world.”

You mark your words, truly. You meant those with all your heart and soul, and you'll always let her know that—

“Then prove it, d-daddy.”

“Prove what, baby?”

You pull out of her tight cavern as you can see Youngeun's eyes roll, knowing how dumb you're playing the game. She knows you're playing with her, but she still anticipates the climax.

“Prove it by pounding me hard against this mirror, daddy.”

She's unanticipatedly daring and you couldn't believe your ears picked up. It almost feels like it didn't come out of her mouth—well, it definitely did and her own animalistic urges were to blame.

You won't waste any time. You set more gasoline to the flames of lust as both your bodies clashed together again, also, the sudden penetration making her yelp, her mouth agape on how big you are inside her.

“More please, daddy!”

She begs, you fulfill. A simple formula you won't forget and you'll never will. Resuming your frantic thrusting, you feel heavenly as too much serotonin coursed down your veins. Every gyration of your hips hits a successive moan from her, following yours—both of your cries sound rhythmically arranged, drowned within the symphony of moans you always (and her) love hearing. 

With more deeper thrusts earns an inevitably seductive moan, which turns you even more—and it's also a hot scene: her hands holding its dearest life onto the metal railings and the hot scene of her being railed against the mirror is just too fucling much. Yet, you don't care. As much as you want to strip her clothing one by one, she looks almost perfect with it. It's way too hot if you'll fulfill your desire with her in that outfit. 

Maybe it's just the fact that you have a kink of a cute girl in a skirt…

“Daddy, daddy, d-daddy! Ahh—fuck! Too good—too good!”

Her chants power your hips to bring an onslaught of thrusts that's unmatched than the first one. You're fucking her so hard without a care that you're afraid that this tiny room may conceal the chamber of lustful moans trapped inside within the small area on the corner and the railings giving up on dear life on how much Youngeun's been gripping them ever since you've fucked her cunt mercilessly.

You never stop and probably you never will. You won't stop until you've filled her needy cunt full of your thick seed yet some needs must come first.

“Daddy, I'm going to fucking cum! All over you!”

With the given signal, you resume with more hammering thrusts as her cunt leaks too much of her nectar, as you feel her closing her high. You help her as she screams her lungs out, her reservoir breaking loose as she creams all over your throbbing length. Her orgasm became so powerful that she almost fell unconscious so you became worried and thankfully, she wanted you to ram her again without giving a care, wanting you to cum inside her yet with a reflection, you have other things in mind.

“Get down on your knees for me.”

“W-what? I need you to cum inside me, da—”

“This will be the last time I'm repeating myself, baby. Get on your knees.”

Youngeun is frustrated once your cock left her incredibly tight cunt as she does what she's been told. She instantly knew what you'd do, so, as the good girl as she is, she stuck out her tongue, her legs still quivering from her recently strong orgasm as she anticipated your load. Anticipating a load for a lifetime that she'll forever cherish.

“Cum all over my pretty face, daddy. I know you wanted to from the start. Paint every inch of me white with your seed! Please dadd—”

You erupt.

The tremors broke the dam inside you, resulting in a magnitude of thick spurts of you semen spraying all over her beautiful, ruined visage. She wanted no cum getting wasted so she held your length and stroked it furiously, and of course, she aimed it right to her face for better accuracy. She tried to catch anything she could get with her tongue but was deemed not successful because of the volume of your load.

“God, daddy—you came so much. It's so warm on my face—mwah”

A few kisses and slurps to clean you up is the finale of the show as it sends shivers down your spine, the post-sensitivity finally getting in after an earth-shaking orgasm.

“So fucking delicious too, daddy. Thank y-you for this—you're the best daddy.”

You smiled as she got up slowly, her legs wobbly and weak from all of the pounding she took earlier. Everything felt amazing yet once you've regained awareness, you curse on how dirty the both of you were so you panicked, but Youngeun calmed you down and handed some tissues as she invited you to the bathroom to “clean up”.

“My legs feel like shit, Oppa—oh no…”

“I'm sure they'll understand.”

Youngeun giggles as you reassure her, she then feels calm and collected from your actions which she finds sweet and thoughtful.

“Yujin-unnie and Xiaoting-unnie will, because, y'know…”

“Hey! We don't talk about that here, okay?”

“Okay, Oppa… Help me get cleaned? To the bathroom?”

“Sure, I don't see why not, baby.”

We'll you'll definitely see what's not and what's something once the lights emanates around you—

[wittlesissyb4by]

The bABy Shower

“Did you remember to get the diapers?” she asked.

“I did.” I said, “I didn’t realize how damn expensive they are!”

“Well that’s the cost of having a bABy!” she laughed. “And you better keep that in mind if you don’t want to be buying some for us one day!”

I gulped at the horror of the thought.

“Why do I have to go to this thing anyway? I thought…’Showers’...were more of a girl thing?”

She scoffed. “Maybe back in the 2020’s...but nowadays things are a little different. Plus...I want you to get a good idea of what you might be in for one day...”

Again, I shifted uncomfortably as I glanced down at the invitation again:

The sound of my newlywed wife, Sandra, flicking on the blinker to exit the freeway snapped me out of my daze.

When we pulled up to the house, there was one of those over-sized yard signs that read “Welcome Baby McEntyre!” in alternating pink and blue colors, with balloons attached to match.

“Come on!” Sandra said, tapping the unisexly wrapped box in my lap as she climbed out of the car. I must have been daydreaming again.

“Ohhh Hiiii!” said a woman coming down the walkway to greet us, mimosa splashing as her heels clanked down the cobblestones. “I’m Agnes!” she said cheerily, hinting that it wasn’t her first mimosa of the day.

“Hi! I’m Sandra, and this is my husband Tom” she said, introducing us. “Sorry we’re a bit late, it’s hard getting him out the door sometimes!” 

“Oh I understand, BELIEVE me! I swear I feel like I'm having to crack the whip too often with my own husband sometimes!” Agnes said, and they both laughed exaggeratedly as if it were a joke I didn’t seem to get. “Well come on in! Everyone is outside in the back!”

Inside the 3-story home were the sounds and smells I’d come to expect of a women’s gathering. Laughter, flowery/powdery smells, and finger foods that probably were keto, paleo, or something-or-another-o. Talking about whatever it is women talk about.

“I’m telling you: when my little one is stopped up, I put a little prune juice into his bottle, and he’ll be pooping three or four times that day!” one said.

“Yea but I dunno if I wanna be changing three or four dirty diapers a day!!” said another, and they all laughed.

Another woman came down the stairs as we crossed the living room.

“Finally got him down for a nap!” she announced to the room with a sigh, “I swear he gets so fussy every time we go out in public like this!” And all the women nodded in agreement.

One lady pulled a bottle out of the microwave, the milk inside seemed to be a bit clearer and mistier than breast or formula. “Where do you get all that from?” Someone asked. The lady laughed as she checked the temperature of the pearly liquid on her arm. “Well...let’s just say my new husband is quite the producer! He keeps my little man quite full! In more ways than one!”

They all cackled hysterically. It was all so much for me to handle. Or, at least, I thought it was. But that was until we stepped outside…

******

Outside, everything was dialed up to 11. It immediately felt like we were at a kid’s birthday party. With a bunch of women all busy and bustling around with their 2-year-olds.

Except, instead of 2-year-olds, it was a bunch of grown men dressed like 2-year olds.

“Oh hi Sandra! How are you?” A woman called over her shoulder. She was busy shoveling green mush onto a baby spoon and shoving it into the mouth of the grown man sitting in front of her. He had a blue and teal onesie, a bonnett on his head, mittens on his hands, and the grumpiest of looks on his green-stained face.

“I’m doing well, Patricia!” my wife replied in her cheery voice as if nothing were amiss, “and you must be Randy!” She cooed at the man twice her size. He glared at her but said nothing, just opened his mouth so Patricia could fill it with more peas. The spoon skimmed the side of his mouth, as if purposely done to make a mess around Randy’s beard. Patricia used the giant bib around his neck that read “Stand By...Diaper Loading” to wipe it up. But it just seemed to smear and make more of a mess. Patricia didn’t seem to care and just carried on talking “you know i got him this beautiful little...” but their chatter seemed to fade as I tried to take in my surroundings.

A man crawled by me on his hands and knees in nothing but a t-shirt and a very large diaper that probably used to be white but was now a shade of yellow with a large blue stripe down the middle. There was also a very large lump in the back that was making it sag significantly. He knelt in front of two women sitting at a picnic table and held his arms wide open. Like a toddler in need of something and unable to express it. He said something that made both the girls laugh. Until one of them squeezed the front of his diaper and patted his padded bottom “Awww! Not yet sweetie, but maybe later after Mommy has another glass of wine!” The man literally burst into tears right there. Sobbing like an actual baby. The woman seemed unphased, just reached into the bag next to her and pulled out a large pacifier. Except when she turned it around, instead of a nipple, there was at least a 5 inch rubber penis attached to it. She slid the penis pacifier into his blubbering mouth. Muffling his cries. Until of course he spit it out and started crying harder. Her face immediately went from laughing to that of a scorned mother. Without hesitation, she scooped up the dildo dummy off the ground and smacked him across the cheek with it. Pointing a stern finger directly in his face before jamming the cock down his throat with force. Holding the back of his head while he choked and squirmed until she could tie the attached ribbon around it tightly. Keeping it securely in place. His sobbing stopped. But there were still plenty of tears.

A hand on my back startled me. “Come along, Dear” Sandra whispered in my ear, taking me by the hand and leading me through the bizarre crowd.

It seemed there were “babies” everywhere. All of them were men, but not all of them dressed in the “manly” colors of blues and greens.

One man was sitting on a blanket wearing an oversized (yet somehow still undersized) pink tutu. The frilly skirt did nothing to hide his diaper underneath. A stranger stood over him, cooing at him and pinching his cheeks. “Awwww!! I wuv your wittle piggy-tails!!” She teased while he sucked his thumb and tried to ignore her. His face turned as pink as his outfit while his mascara ran from tears forming in his eyes.

Not all the bABies seemed to be ashamed though. As Sandra and I walked past the playpen we heard a lot of crinkling coming from inside. Two of the men—one dressed like Tinkerbell and the other like a tiny Sailor—had their hands in each others diapers. Moaning and groaning furiously as they rubbed each other with their mittened hands. Another bABy in a pink princess outfit sat next to them, unfazed. (S)he was rocking back and forth cross-legged, smacking blocks up and down repeatedly. Her mouth was open and drool was hanging out. She seemed to be in some kind of haze. Whatever was playing through the headphones strapped to her head seemed to be having a profound effect on her.

A woman with an incredible ass sauntered by the pen, and a fourth bABy that was pretending to play with dolls immediately tossed them aside, turned on his tummy, and started humping the ground furiously in his diaper while staring at her.

“Gus Gus!” another woman called, storming over “Stop that right now!!” She yelled. Smacking the humping bABy on the back of the head and jerking him up by the wrist, yanking him out and over to her seat with the crowd of women she had been sitting with. “We do NOT go goo goo in our diapy!” She scolded in front of everyone. Pulling him over her lap and spanking his thighs while he cried like a baby.

“See, that’s why I keep mine locked up...” said the woman sitting next to her. “Watch this!” She said, turning her gaze elsewhere, raising her hand, and snapping her fingers twice.

A man in normal clothes conversing in another group immediately turned his attention to her. She crooked a finger and beckoned him over. His face instantly turned from casual to concern as his shoulders dropped and he sauntered over to her and the group of women.

He stood there awkwardly as she snapped again. This time pointing down. “Drop ‘em!” She barked. And his quivering hands immediately fumbled with his belt and zipper, and his pants were at his ankles. A large fluffy diaper underneath.

She placed a finger into the front of his diaper and pulled it forward. Peeking inside. “Go on girls! Have a looksy!” She announced, and all the girls immediately took her up on the offer and leaned in to peer into the front of his diaper. They all collectively gasped.

“Wowww!!”

“It’s so intricate!”

“And so tiny!!!”

“I love the little padlock!!”

“Are those spikes?!”

“It’s adorable!!”

The man stared at the sky, visibly sweating and shifting back and forth.

“Oh that’s not even the best part!” His wife announced. And with that, she started pulling one side of her dress off of her shoulder.

The man immediately started shaking his head. “No, Mommy! Please!!” He begged. His voice suddenly high and squeaky. 

The woman pulled aside her bra with ease, exposing her voluptuous bosom for all to see.

The man was trembling. As if  the bare boob were some kind of monster. His knees pressed together as he gripped the front of his diaper. 

She patted her leg softly. “Come here, little one.” She said to her 6’3’’ husband. He sniffled as he delicately laid across her lap, into her arms that cradled his head. His snivelling intensified as he came face to face with her gorgeous breast. She gently cupped her tit and placed the nipple to his mouth, ‘shhhing’ and coddling him as if he were an actual baby in need of nourishment.

His eyes squinted as he began sucking the nipple, his hips convulsing a bit as he did so. Clenching his legs tightly and whimpering as if in some sort of pain. I had no idea what was going on, but all the mothers around him apparently did, and thought it was hilarious.

“Awwww! I think somewon’s getting exciiited!!”

“Poor wittle thing!”

“Serves him right. He should learn to control himself!”

They all nodded in agreement as the woman rocked the nursing bABy back and forth.

There was the slight clinking of a bell behind me. I turned to see where it was coming from, but didn’t see anything in the distance. I adjusted my view downward and saw a woman leading a dog by a leash. But when she stopped moving and the dog came out from behind her, it wasn’t a dog at all. It was a sissy in a pink puppy outfit. Her hair was in long, curly pigtails and written across her face in lipstick were the letters W-H-O-R-E. Her lips taking the place of the “O” in the word.

“Would you like a blowjob?” the woman holding the leash asked, as if she were a vendor selling something as simple as hotdogs, “only $5 bucks!”

She jerked the leash a bit so that the bell around the pet’s collar jingled. Immediately the puppy rose to a “begging” position with her paws outfront and her tongue hanging out the “O” of her mouth.

“So…” the woman continued, “shall the two of you find a bathroom or a shed somewhere to...do your business?”

My mouth must have been making an “O” as well from my dropped jaw. I didn’t know what to say. Glancing back and forth. I looked to my wife for help. But she just shrugged and smirked as if to say “Hey that’s up to you...if that’s what you want…”

“Uhh..hmm..ahem” I stammered. Trying to find my voice for the first time since arriving at this whirlwind of a party. “N-no...no thank you.” I said.

The woman with the leash shrugged, “Your loss. She’s getting pretty good...gonna have to start charging more soon!” and with that she yanked the leash and the two jingled away. 

“There he is!!” 

“It’s him!”

“The new bABy!!”

There was a raucous from everyone in the crowd as they all turned back to the house. A lady in a black dress with scarlet red hair was standing arms crossed as what  looked to be a large, wooden high-chair was wheeled out by two large black men. It was decorated in alternating blue and pink ribbons and streamers. When they turned it around, I got a full view of the occupant in the chair. It was my best friend, Michael.

His wrists were cuffed to each end of the table top, his ankles cuffed to the bottom.. His hands were encased in mittens: one pink, one blue. He didn’t have on any pants, white briefs (Which I mistook for a diaper, at first. Can you blame me??) and a white T-shirt with a giant question mark across the front.

“Thank you all so much for coming!” the woman with scarlet hair, Moira, announced as the crowd hushed. She had a distinct air of confidence about her that drew everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and spoke elegantly. “Michael and I first met several years ago back in 2031. It was love at first sight, and I eventually knew I wanted to have a baby with Michael. But when the Population Reformation Act passed a few years later, I found myself reevaluating my decision. Though we, as women, are no longer allowed to choose when we can have a baby, there is no denying we will always have those maternal instincts so heavily ingrained within us.”

All the women around me proceeded to nod their heads in agreement. Muttering ‘amen’ in unison. 

“That’s why, when the Hubbies in Huggies Act was passed, I knew there was no denying this was always the plan for wittle Mikey all along!”

Michael seemed to sink in his chair as the women all clapped and hooted in accord. It seemed like just yesterday he and I were golfing together when he muttered that he had something to tell me. 

“So, please, come say your final goodbyes to the ‘man’ I married. Grab some punch. Grab some snacks. And let’s all reveal the Gender of wittle Mikey in 30 minutes time!”

They all clapped once more and were about to scatter when Agnes drunkenly called for attention. “And for our bABy shower game today to celebrate wittle Mikey, if everyone will please grab a diaper and write a cute or humiliating little note across the front so that Michael and Moira can remember you every single time he gets a change!” she turned to look at me “Tom, I assume those are the diapers?”

Suddenly all eyes were on me. I had been so enamored by all the chaos going on around me throughout this nightmare of a party that I’d forgotten I'd been holding the box of diapers the whole time.

I gulped, and nodded. Stealing a glance at Michael, who was glaring at me as if I somehow betrayed him. I placed the box down and barely got it open before all the women hounded in to grab a diaper and a sharpie. Others went to coo at Michael. Pinching his cheeks and telling him how excited he should be. But still he kept his gaze on me. I could do nothing but avoid it and walk away.

*****

“So what should we write?” Sandra asked, pressing the sharpie to the front of the very large diaper that had B-A-B-Y printed across it on little baby blocks already. 

“I dunno.” I grunted, wishing to get this all over with. “How about: ‘I’m sorry, Man’”

Sandra shook her head, “Not cute or clever enough. Plus we don’t know if he’ll even be referred to as a ‘man’ any more after this...Oooh! I know”

And she scribbled across it. Holding it up to show me.

“Wittle Clitty inside!” she giggled.

“How does that work? He doesn’t have a clit, and you don’t even know if he’s gonna be a ‘gurl’ either!” I argued.

“Oh trust me. Moira told me how small his thingy is. It might as well be called a ‘clitty’ no matter how the rest of this shakes out! Now go put it on the pile! The reveal is going to be any minute!”

I begrudgingly took the giant diaper over to the table with all the others. Examining what was written across them.

First of many!!

Poop! There it is.

All ‘Ga ga’ and no ‘Goo Goo’ from now on!

Caution: Tiny Objects inside! (Don’t worry, definitely NOT a choking hazard!)

Only THOUSANDS more to go!!

Open at your own risk!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, will this one have pee, or will it have poo?

It was all so ridiculous and humiliating. And I wasn’t even the one the diapers were intended for. What was the world coming to that all of this had become so normalized?

There were gasps from the crowd. 

“It’s time!”

“It’s TIME!”

The women gathered round. Their bABies gathered with them. Though, in their own unique way. 

Moira came out carrying a cake with white icing that had large sparklers and candles crackling on the top. The women all cheered and sang a song to the tune of Happy Birthday, but all the words were something different. I felt like I was in the middle of some strange occult ritual. They all cheered as the song ended.

“Blow them out, Mikey!” they called.

“Make a wish!” someone else said, “Though I doubt it’ll come true!”

Michael sat there frowning as they sang. Grumbling as they beckoned him to blow out the candles and wish like an infant on their first birthday. But he must have known it was no use protesting with all these people around, including the two giant black men.

He gasped and blew with all his might. Extinguishing the candles. Everyone cheered. Everyone but me.

“And now!” Moira called opening up a large knife, ceremonial style “The time has come to find out if we’re going to have a little boi, or a little gurl! A little Mikey, or baby Michelle!”

The crowd clamored. Placing their last minute bets. 

“I think it’s a boi!”

“It’s gonna be a gurl!”

“I know The Drawing is supposed to be 50/50 but I swear it leans more towards bois.” one said, “Like Congress doesn’t want to shock too many of them by making them gurls”

Moira placed the knife on the cake and made one long cut down its center, then another at a slightly wider angle. She made one last look at the crowd as they collectively held their breath and then gave a wicked evil grin at Michael. Pulling the slice of cake up with the knife, and revealing.......

--------------------

Uh oh! Do we have a wittle Mikey on our hands? Or an adorable Michelle? Guess you'll have to find out by going to Substar, Gumroad or my new Reams site! I'm currently in the process of uploading everything to the latter, so if you prefer Reams as a site you may want to wait a bit for me to get all of my stories uploaded. Thanks for your patience, and for your support!

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY OKAY SAGAU BUT THE CREATOR IS A HUGE KPOP FAN LIKE IMAGINE THE MOST STOTIC CHARACTERS DANCING TO TWICE

ANON I HAVE SEEN UR ASK SITTIN IN MY MAILBOX AND BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-

GOD IM SO BASIC ANON I ONLY KNOW LIKE 2 SONGS BY TWICE (LIKE "FEELS" OR SMTH POPULAR), I KNOW A LITTLE MORE ITZY, BUT MY MAIN'S JUST BEEN BTS SINCE 2019😭

(send me recs pleassseeee ;-;)

Hey this'll be the last time I use colored words for characters!

I think it's a bit too distracting, and the only reason I was using them was to let ppl know if their fav was in there, but now I'll probably just use CW/TW to mention character heavy asks/fics :)

Thanks for being patient with me for so long if ur still reading my stuff :0 <3

Listen as you read?

EDIT 1/1/24: Hey I expanded more about this on my Eldritch Fanfic Part 2 post, but unfortunately I did a form of exoticism by including the term "Huangdi" inappropiately here. I have since replaced it with "Emperor" as was the original untranslated term I would've used. I'm genuinely sorry that I did this, and will absolutely be on the look out/do better in the future. I hope you can understand.

----

AGONIZED OVER THE GIFS THIS TIME THEYRE SO PRETTY AND I WANTED TO GET THEM DANCING ONE OF THEIR CUTER ERA/THEMES ALL DRESSED UP TOO-

also im so sorry?? Idky i was in such a scenario mood today??? Ig im in my exectutive dysfunction paralysis state so maybe that’s why, like it unconcoiusly wants me to waste more time not catching up on uni work??? anyway, hope u like this chaotic addon 😭

or i just love this ask sm, that’s entirely possible too <3

I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW I PUT ON A MEGA TWICE PLAYIST WHILE WRITING THIS ENTIRE THING LMAO

ok but they’d totally heard ur music tastes thru the screen right?

like just imagine-

the video game music is normalized, and to them its just another one of those “all kinds of magic in teyvat” causing the music, like the seelies wandering around all the time or elemental energy

Jean is flipping through a folder filled with the reports for the week, she’s got to get the routes ready for the week, then there’s the liyue shipments the knights need to help escort over, then checking in on any of the emergency stations/rations throughout Mondstadt for weary or hurt travelers/merchants-

She sighs, and yet another irritated thought is thrown Varka’s way in her mind, she can’t even muster the energy to make it outright dislike she’s so tired…

Jean was so concentrated she just now is starting to hear the Favonious Headquarter’s music once more, it’s peppy upbeat tune… grates like nails on a chalkboard.

and if she has to hear that damn flute for the next hour she works, she’s going to start banging her head onto her desk.

♤

Out in Jueyun Karst, Xiao is dealing the finishing blow to a flying ruin hunter

He’s huffing and stabs his spear into the ground to lean on and catch his breath, the gentle music of the peaks begins to float around him once more

The Yaksha feels the earth beneath his feet shake. Not like from his Lord, not the other adepti angered, but an enemy so large it’s stomps shake the ground he stands on

Xiao quickly straightens less he fall over, pulling his spear out of the dirt with a little more effort than it probably should’ve taken…

The high sounds of the guzheng trickle through the air, a perfect representation of the base of the slopes, trees, streams, and nature all around him

Xiao turns to face the enemy behind him, his arm popping with tired joints,

…A ruin grader, two ruin hunters, and finally regular three ruin guards, follows it. they come around the corner of the bottom of another slope, and they're still simmering with black smoke, curling off their metallic shoulders.

Xiao sees several red targets layer over his chest,

the music fades a little, but sticks around, plucking strings gently. Xiao sighs, exhausted already.

♧

Kazuha and Beidou had to redirect the Alcor from a nasty storm at sea that intercepted their usual route between Inazuma and Liyue,

the storm had practically chased them further and further down form the Inazuman islands

it wasn’t until Kazuha, from the crow’s nest, spotted fog on the waters that they realized they’d be forced to go into said creepy fog, what with the crackling looming clouds at their backs pinning them in

“Not good Captain, the fog is miles long, I’m not sure I can see a way around it…” Kazuha calls down to the deck, Beidou letting out a sharp sigh through her nose

“Damn… fucker’s not even sentient and it practically backed us into a corner, feels like we literally gotta escape the damn thing… BRACE YOURSELVES CREW, WE’RE HEADING INTO THAT FOG!”

The Alcor makes it’s way into the fog, a piano swells with a strange tune…

Beidou, Kazuha, and the crew know to listen to the music of teyvat, especially if you have a life at sea, where storms can appear in the middle of the day or other pirates could attack any moment.

The music means nothing good, but at least Kazuha can see the storm staying at the border of the fog, moving no further in, unlike themselves

“Shit… see anything up there Kazu?” the Captain steering the ship doesn’t even reach a shout, for the music has creeped out all conversation on board

“No ma’am, wait,” a chill breeze brushes through the wanderer’s white hair, he feels goosebumps jump on his neck and spine,

“…Yes! Portside Captain, land, no enemy movement yet!”

“Alright, here goes a bad idea…” Beidou’s arms flex as she easily turns the heavy wooden wheel, steering left,

the Alcor gently comes ashore, and they make anchor.

…there are no enemies, like Kazuha said, but the tune worsens, it had gotten louder now that they’re actually on the theme’s land

It plays slowly, encasing the crew of the Alcor in a paranoid quiet, and it almost has a melancholy note

Crows caw and fly off of a stone gate up ahead, they can see flickers of a strange blue light further inland, like figures carrying lanterns everywhere they go…

“Damn music, I wouldn’t feel half this anxious if it didn’t sound like we were walking into a monster infested cave…” the first mate says, the first person to break the quiet the music held over them.

“Yes, while we might need to stay here for awhile, I think we’re all very aware how dangerous this is…” Kazuha agrees, crossing his arms and squinting at the moving blue lights… the piano plays on.

☆

You open on Spotify on your computer, clicking on your favorite kpop playlist, it’s been rainy all day, so you need the peppiness of this dance playlist to actually not be half-asleep playing Genshin-

You hum along to the Korean lyrics as you boot Genshin up, ugh, ur in-game music is so loud, u forgot u turned it up last time to hear the new Sumeru music…

Turning it down, you let the Kpop songs fill ur headphones as you nod to the beat, your team materializing on screen. Right, off to do commissions first!

♤

Jean is like.. seconds away letting out a scream of frustration, anger, tiredness, loneliness, etc. her hands clenching her hair and ruining her ponytail when, thank Creator, the theme quiets down finally.

The loss of her immediate ire gone, she lets go of her hair, her hands just kind of hovering midair, not knowing what to do with herself, all the negative emotions giving her face wrinkles just melt off, leaving her stunned, blank face behind

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

Acting Grand Master Jean actually screams when abruptly a song in an unrecognizable foreign language, blasts into her office, around it, filling the entire Favonius Headquarters with its… cheeriness??

Jean lets her hands fall onto the desk, still in shock

..well, she quickly decides she’s grateful for the new music either Barbatos or the All-Parent had heard her pleas for…

…actually, it’s kind of,, catchy?

Jean takes out her ponytail, massaging her aching scalp, huh, she really did have it tight she’s just now noticing, she feels a small smiles appear on her face,

she actually kind of wants to do something now (she kind of hopes this new foreign bard song sticks around..)

♧

If you asked Xiao what happened in that battle he’d be hard pressed to tell you,

without going completely red in the face. LMAO

He probably wouldn’t tell the other adepti this, especially Cloud Retainer, but Xiao had definitely had to get used to fighting brutal battles to the sound of gentle summer day-esque music

Right as the aruguably, army of ruin machines spotted the Yaksha, he’d launched himself into the air to try and evade the rusted beasts, aiming his jade spear, adding winds to swirl around the staff to better boost his attack, the machines warm up, their targets moved and locked onto him midair, right as both sides launch their attack-

🎶 Geogi neo I fancy you! Amuna wonhaji anha Hey, I love you (Love ya!) 🎶

Xiao nearly falls out of the air.

Quickly recovering, he uses his anemo power to propel himself off to the side dodging, he swears to his Lord and his Emperor himself, delayed attacks, as if the machines were caught off guard too,

missiles whiz by him, exploding behind, the peppy song of foreign women’s voices sings out into Jueyun Karst bright and happy-

🎶 Geurae neo I fancy you! Kkumcheoreom haengbokhaedo dwae 'Cause I need you! (What?) 🎶

Xiao’s face goes from being confused to concentrated throughout the rest of the battle, and the worst part… it actually helps his energy levels.

and he finds himself nodding along

☆

Kazuha takes the lead, his sword unsheathed and at the ready to cut down the slightest movement before it can get to any of the crew behind him,

He’s flanked by the Captain of the Alcor herself, Beidou’s electro shield emitting a deep hum as it blocks in front of both himself, and the crew behind him

all of the pirates have unsheather their own weapons, daggers, swords, claymores, bows, their all on high alert, waiting for.. well, any enemies at all.

In fact, Kazuha hopes he sees hilichurls soon, just for the familiarity it could give him and the his crew-

the music begins to fade away.

The crew stops just shy of the entryway that was perched with crows before they scattered, the white fog hasn’t moved beyond its lazy drifting, but the creeping sounds have stopped entirely. Not good.

Captain Beidou sighs after a few silent moments, other than the quiet breathing and shuffling of weapons from the Alcor crew.

She lets her claymore sword thunk against her shoulder, and just as she opens her mouth, turning to address the all, deciding camping here will have to do for the night-

🎶Fancy! youu, ooh Nuga meonjeo johahamyeon eottae Fancy! youu, ooh Jigeum neoegero gallae Fancy! ooh!🎶

Kazuha’s shoulder shoot up to his ears in a flinch, red eyes wide, he barely stops his reflexes from taking a hard swing with his sword, several crewmembers shriek, collide with metal clinks into one another, Beidou drops low, her sword swinging off her shoulder into almost a full swing at the ground-

…

…..

……..

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

the music plays on, the only one making any noise as the entire Alcor crew just, stop. after their initial shock.

Kazuha’s the first to break.

He desperately tries to contain a quiet chuckle, which turns into a giggle, which turns into a full-on wheeze, as he buries his sword into the ground to brace himself on it and one of his knees

the Captain cracks by the time Kazuha wheezes, her laughter going straight to guffaws and knee slapping, her claymore shaking the ground where she stabs it to lean against

the crew erupts into laughter, both as the peppy foreign song echoes into the mysterious fog, and Beidou’s ridiculous laugh, as always

they don’t recover until two songs later when there’s finally a slow kpop song, Kazuha’s had to sit down, tears streaming down his face, Beidou’s half-dead, wheezing out complaints about her stomach, as the crew keep sending each other into more and more laughter right as they think they’re done.

They decide their Akitsu Mikami must have the best sense of humor and must just be sitting on their celestial throne pranking some of their subjects from time to time, and the Alcor crew find themselves all the more appreciative for it, their nerves entirely gone about the island

Kazuha and Beidou are constantly asking other bards they meet to try and see if anyone can recreate the song for the crew sometime they liked the beat and the memory so much, Fancy by Twice will still get a laugh out of Beidou and Kazuha, and they’d quickly let you in on the inside joke so you’d be a part of it too (afterall you did it lol)

♡

NOW MORE IMPORTANTLY, BC IDK IVE BEEN ON A SCENARIO KICK LATELY?? SORRY IDK WHY U GUYS KEEP GETTING SCENARIOS-

There’s only TWO 2 CATEGORIES THAT MATTER HERE-

◇

Who’s DANCING!! w/o u needing to do anything but play the music:

NILOU (she got those choreos done in like, an hour flat everytime u teach her, shes always begging for “just one more dance lesson Greatest Lord? 🥺”),

YUNJIN (difference betweeen the two dancers is that nilou asks :) → yunjin lowkey demands, she like always gets u into a situation where you have plenty of time to teach her and feel obligated, u just got gaslight gatekeep girlbossed into teaching her another kpop dance LMAO), they also see it as they’re (literally) god-given job to dance better than any idol you’ve seen do it before, esp when they recruit groups of other dancers to join for group choreos

Yoimiya! cutie #1, CHILDE, amber, eula, ITTO, bennett,

Collei (but shes shy u gotta encourage her),

Diona (cutie #2),

FISCHL (would form an actual group to dance all the choreos like a real kpop group),

Gorou (shy #2, needs encouragement),

Kazuha (tbh I think he’d have fun and be weirdly good at it, fem or masc dances),

Ayaka (shy #3, needs encouragement and would rather die than dance in front of ppl other than you),

KLEE CUTIE #3, NAHIDA CUTIE #4,

Qiqi (but u gotta teach her slow bc she needs to memorize it, and also it takes her a bit to write down the dance steps in her journal so she doesn’t forget as much),

Razor (another person i think would just have fun with it! also he’d do it but it would be very, aggressive? like making finger hearts but violently shoving his arm out at ur face lmao),

HEIZOU (shutup he’d actually be good at it and brag- and flirt at you-),

Aether (shy #4), VENTI, xingqiu, xinyan, KAVEH

BARBARA (she literally stalks u around Mondstadt all like “oh hello your highness! just happened to walk by you and was wondering if you heard any new of those “kpop” dances, you know I’d LOVE to show it off at my next show-!” like she hasnt been a block behind you the entire day 💀)

♡

WHO YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE TO DANCE LMAO-

babygirl Wanderer (he literally surveyed the area before he finally let u teach him any moves, and refused to any sort of dramatic moves, like fem or masc),

Alhaitham (but only like a small part of a guy group choreo like a bit from God’s Menu or smth, he was too lazy to do anymore even for u lol),

Cyno (dammit some of these bitches look way too good doing even girl group dances-),

Diluc (u got him to do like, a pose. LMAO and he saw Kaeya in the distance and quit immediately LMFAO),

Kaeya (but it didnt take much convincing, if anything it just took forever to teach him, he’s talented in footwork for swordfighting but apparantly not dancing, at least not modern dances he tripped so much ur convinced he did it on purpose at one point so he’d fall into your arms again lol),

Ganyu (super shy, wont do it around anyone but you, and maybe Shenhe),

speaking of Shenhe (she just took awhile to teach bc she wanted to stay upright a lot, kinda stiff),

Keqing (once again, another who’d only dance when it’s just u two lol),

Yae Miko (she just wanted to learn the whole choreo that’s what took so long… and now she’s making comments like “My goodness, my god wants me to dance for them? They’ll even show me how? Oh, now I must do it perfectly so I can satisfy you, my Kami.” STOP TAKING THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT UR TEACHING EVERYONE-),

Ayato (he’s acts so theater gay he refuses to do anything but the girl group dances/fem dances lol),

SARA (easy, give her ur strongest, saddest pout and she cracked like glass, u got her to do a whole dance with u/she actually got into it too, its her secret guilty pleasure now lol),

Kuki (did one sort of move then got BARRELED OVER by Itto’s crazied boy group acrobatics he likes so much, u know the backflips over each other type of ones? yeah. ),

Ei (the god herself/not the puppet, catch her never doing that lol, she tried but didnt, get it? she’s also pretty stiff, but she looks like she’s having fun so u just keep teaching her moves, and she likes that its you teaching her something new),

Thoma (shy #5 ? idek what number we’re on anymore lol),

TIGHNARI (u nag that bitch so hard he nearly throws a drink at you to get u to stop bothering him- NO he does NOT think those dances would suit his ears- dammit he wont do that dance, no matter how much he likes you- DAMMIT MY LORD-),

Xiao (if u thought nagging Tighnari was hard, this is like nightmare mode, not only does he not wanna do the dances, but he also wants to understand WHY u want him to dance each and every move- !! bc he would “look cute or cool”?!?!!?!!! …yeah he’s gone, he went so red u cant even get him back with tofu),

Zhongli (would like, be so confused on how to make his body do that, that he ended up just sort of posing, at least he looks cool)

♡

(anyone not on these 2, u did, in fact, not manage to convince, yes, even if their god asked them to, nor are they doing it of their own volition lol)

WHAT THE HELLLLLLL-

THIS IS SO LONGGG IM SO SORRRYYYYY

ANYWAY HOPE SOMEBODY LIKED THIS, DW ILL STOP THE WEIRD SCENARIOS AFTER THIS ASK I JUST GOT IN A PHASE I DONT KNOW WHY

also, im like, three weeks away form graduating uni? NICE, soon i will be free to assault u all with responses mwhahahaha (rubs my little gremlin hands together)

Safe travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[alexizacatboy]

I did a redesign for Sir Pentious! (Opinions below)

I really enjoy this silly goober, no natter how good or bad I think the show is, but my god...the og design...I feel really negative about it. Something just feels so frustrating when I look at it!

So here's some of my thoughts:

Considering his role in the show as more of a comic relief (though he's truly trying to redeem himself and takes it more seriously than, for example, Angel Dust), I wanted to give him a softer shape. Something to indicate that he's not really a threat to anyone, given how easily he's beat by Cherri Bomb (thats her name, right?)and, of course, Alastor.

I also gave him a bit different clothing, so instead of a suit he's wearing a vest. I think it looks better on him, as well as underlines the fact that he's an inventor (along with his visible goggles and a differently shaped hat). Bowtie became a simple tie and I gave him gloves! I don't find the "claws" thing about the designs cringe since animating fingers like that is probably more simple, but the fact that the patters of different characters are same recolored stuff definitely is!

Then, of course, I gave him a snake face with his fangs out. Because despite his goofiness, he's still supposed to be a demon (or, well, a sinner, more specifically).

What I REALLY dislike about the og design is the fact that he has a lot of eyes which are the same color!!!! I feel like it makes the design a little heavy and hard to look at, at least for me. So I left him with normal eyes, as well as giving him (somewhat of) an eye pattern on his hood. I also left the eye on the hat, but it's not really his, rather just a useful hypnotic device in the shape of an eye!

--

What I dislike about the og, is the color scheme and the similarity of the design with other "sexy handsome" characters (though, in this regard he is a little more unique)

I mean sure, he fits with the world in terms of colors. But that doesn't mean the colors arepicked great! I'm a big enjoyer of 1 character = 1 color thing. It makes you realise how different the cast is! However, when 1 color is associated with muktiple characters, it's pretty hard to see their differences and what makes them their own self. Sir Pentious looks like yellow Alastor, when he's supposed to be just himself!

If I haven't watched the show and only knew one character - Alastor (for understandable reasons), I'd think they're somehow related. Friends, enemies, boss - employee, equals as overlords - that kind of stuff. I'd never guess Sir Pentios acts differently. I'd just assume they have same character traits or same motives! I'd never be able to tell actually tell the difference!

That's not how you get people to watch your show! You're not supposed to offer them a cast of similarly looking characters and then say "oh, well, they're actually all very different! You just have to watch it to find out!"

No! You have to visually tell them "They're very different, but they're together for a reason. What reason? Why don't you watch my show? Wink wink"

That is how you do it!

Overall, I hope you guys can give me some thoughts! I'm not a professional, of course. And I'm not telling anyone that they have to abide by what I say. It's simply my opinion and hiw I feel about it. If you like Viv's designs, then that's great! Hope you have a great day!

[synthetickitsune]

Like Oxygen ✧ x.mh

Pairing: Xu Minghao x reader Genre: angst, comfort Summary: Sometimes there are so many thoughts in your head you forget about the wonders of life. And sometimes life is so hard you forget how to breathe. Word count: 1.5k Warnings: depression, self-destructive tendencies

"I don't know if you're doing this on purpose or not but it feels like revenge."

Minghao's voice is that faux cold of feigned disinterest that he uses to hide his vulnerability.

Because it was supposed to be revenge, you think, it was revenge until it wasn't.

You don't acknowledge his words, let them hang in the heavy air of the dark bedroom. You screw your eyes shut so tightly you see white and try to imagine the quiet, tiny, hurt, sigh that leaves Hao's lips and that he tries to hide doesn't feel like a punch to the gut.

There's a limit to the strain you can put on the relationship before it gets irreparably damaged or breaks. When a person is as sensitive as Minghao is, it's hard to say whether the point is further away or closer than you thought. You know he'll try to understand and think deeper than simply believing you are ignoring him for the sake of upsetting him. Then again, him saying this, and in this way too, is a warning sign. A pretty bright, flashing, neon-colored one.

You suppose something did snap inside you after that fight. Well, a bit after that. At first you did indeed mean to give him the cold shoulder, because you were petty and, yeah, some things he said cut a bit too deep even if they were true. Then again, you were working through them. Until life happened, and work got busy, and you had to do overtime day after day and started coming home late and all you managed to do was wash up before falling asleep. Everything got kind of thrown out of the window then.

Maybe it's best if you keep ignoring him. Maybe if you're distant for long enough, it'll ruin things beyond repair and… well, it's not like you can find it in yourself to care right now. Maybe the pain would help you feel again. Maybe you just wanna feel like you’re right about something - even if it has to be Minghao inevitably leaving you because he deserves better. Maybe if you weren't already half asleep, you'd get to the point in the thought process where you'd realize how little sense that makes. Maybe.

Come morning, and the one after that and the one after that… you can’t even properly register your thoughts anymore. Everything just drags on for eternity and you feel yourself spiraling into lethargy that is only broken by a stabbing pain in your chest each time you see Minghao. Some part of you wants to spit his words right into his face, some part of you understands, and much, much larger part of you wants to run to him and cling to him and beg for his love.

You know he’s not doing this on purpose. You know he’s also busy. You know he’s, most of all, just trying to protect himself. It hurts nonetheless, more so because you know it’s you who he’s raising his defenses against.

But you need him.

You need him more than ever because this is hard and it’s too much, and you feel like weight just keeps getting added onto your shoulders, and yet you keep carrying it so it’s shattering you instead of breaking you at once. You need him but he’s so cold and far away and it feels like you’ve finally done it and he’s not gonna return. You will lose him and you’ll be right but it doesn’t feel like you’ve won anything because you played a stupid game and all you’re gonna get is a stupid prize.

When Minghao comes home, he expects the silence that’s been basically the trademark of your home for what, weeks? Months? It’s getting hard to tell and if he got to think about it any more he’d probably break down. He doesn’t get to, though, because the moment he closes the door and the sounds coming from the street can no longer be heard, he hears badly muffled sobbing instead.

It’s like an instinct. 

His body moves regardless of his will, his legs carry him towards the sound in a rush and determination that ignores that he’s still wearing shoes and that the bag with his laptop hit the ground without the usual caution he puts it down with. His mind is blank and all he feels is a cold dread.

He barely registers where he is, where you are, he only comes back to his senses when his arms are wrapped tightly around your trembling form and he’s pulling you into his chest and tucking your head under his chin and he’s shushing you, whispering sweet nothings and trying to calm you down. He tries to be sneaky when his hands move slowly over your body, trying to feel if you’re physically hurt somehow. He needs to know you’re okay and he realizes that’s what he should’ve been doing this whole time - make sure you’re okay. But he was too hurt himself and he failed to do that and while he understands he was in no state to care for both you and himself, it still leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

“Shhh, y/n…” he murmurs and he feels his voice break, “Tell me what you need.”

“Just hold me,” you sob and he’s thrown into the ice cold water of regret and pain all over again. He’s so tired, his body is exhausted, and yet somehow he finds the strength to pull you closer and uses the last of it to hold you like that until the oxygen in your lungs runs out. And still he feels you nuzzling closer and your hands grabbing at his clothes like he’s your lifeline and after being denied the feeling of being important to you for so long, it feels addictive. This is what he wants to be to you. This, sans the crying, is what he wants to come home to.

“Breathe with me,” he whispers, but he only feels you move closer, feels you bury your face into his chest. But that’s not where you’ll find air to breathe. It feels like the cruelest thing he’s ever done when he’s coaxing you to pull away enough to look at him. He wants to keep reliving the moment you immediately lean your forehead against his like you can’t stand being without him if only for a second. He keeps one arm around your waist while he cups your face with his other hand. He brushes your tears away as gently as he can with his shaky touch. Your eyes are so captivating he can’t look away.

“Breathe for me,” he whispers and you’re close enough that his lips brush against yours. His hand never leaves your skin as it slides down your jaw to your neck, down your shoulders and lower until it finds your hand. He intertwines your fingers while he brings it up to his chest and splays your palm over his heart. “Please. Can you feel me? Breathe with me.”

And so you do.

He adjusts his breathing to yours first so it’s easier. He guides you like he always does - gently, lovingly. Slowly he helps you calm down and steady your breathing. Neither of you can tell if you take in a deep breath or if your lips meet for a kiss before you part.

It feels unpleasant, to part. You’ll have to face the past weeks now. You’ll have to explain. It makes you want to forget the last couple minutes, that really felt like a whole another lifetime, and imagine they were just a dream. You want to go back just to avoid the confrontation.

“I still want to hold you,” Minghao says before your flight reflex can win over the fight one, “If you want me to.”

You feel the tears flowing slower now, as you smile a wobbly smile and huff a laugh. He doesn’t ask. He doesn’t push you into anything. He doesn’t push you away without meaning to. As you’d know he wouldn’t if you remembered sooner that this is Minghao who knows you best in this world.

You trust him with your soul to guide you through this when you slide your hands into his. You let him pull your along and let him take you to the couch. You know he’ll catch you when he pulls you down and makes you fall. When he pushes you against the back of the couch and traps you between it and his body, you feel safe.

He pulls the weighted blanket you keep there for times like these over your bodies. His arms fit snuggly around your body and it soon gets nicely toasty under the soft fabric covering you. You cuddle closer to him and close your eyes. It’s safe.

You’re safe.

And you know he’ll keep it that way.

You know he won’t ask, and you know he’ll wait until you’re ready. No matter how long that is.

Maybe this time you won’t have to run.

Maybe.

[cerastes]

So, Tekken 8. I'm pleased with the direction it has fundamentally taken. In general, high profile fighting games have taken a far more welcoming approach towards newcomers, which is much needed and has thankfully gotten pretty good results so far: Street Fighter 6, for example, went lengths to provide a good, welcoming experience for new players, Granblue Rising retains its beginner friendly nature while expanding on systems to give it more depth at a higher level without stopping to be a fundamentally simple and 'easy' (but fun) fighting game with gorgeous flair, and Tekken 8 is following on the same road. It did this to some degree with Tekken 7, but Tekken 8 definitely goes a step further.

In general, Tekken 8 is much better geared towards user experience and perception than Tekken 7 was. I was a bit surprised to hear about friends that never really deal with Ranked in any game ever, tell me they were queueing up to climb the ladder. I started playing Tekken 8 a few days ago, and when I hopped into Ranked, I noticed small changes that carry a big impact with them in the UI, particularly in the loading screen pre-fight: What it shows.

So, in Tekken 7, you can see both players' Tekken Power, total wins as the character, rank, the results of their last 10 games, their 3 highest player tendencies, and personal match-up win and stage win rates.

That is a lot of information, and you'd usually think "more information is better, right?", I think in this case it was a double edged blade, however: If you're a newer player who's gotten wiggity washed four games in a row now, with your 13 total wins and 9k Tekken Power (or Prowess, as it was in 7) and your B/C/C tendencies, and get matched up a guy with a rank you've never seen before, with over 10 times your Power, triple S+es, 2.3k wins, on a 7 win streak... Well, you're probably going to be more than a little intimidated before the game even starts. For a lot of people, understandably, this immediately becomes the moment of "holy shit, I'm about to get ragdolled", so you go in with a different mentality than you might go against someone whose stats you don't know. Some people don't get affected by this, but a lot of people do, especially curious people that are trying to get into the games and might get put off when they mentally lose before the fight even starts.

In contrast, the Tekken 8 loading screen offers less information, but it's a far better user experience:

3 highest Tendencies, Tekken Power, Rank, and that's it. There's other stuff like console or PC, area, but it's otherwise a lot more laconic. And this works better! You just know their Power, their tendencies, their rank, and that's that. In the actual fight, you can see their current win streak, but no one can see if you or the opponent has 8 loses in a row. You don't know if they have 100 wins or 6000 wins, and so, you don't really think about it, you just go and fight. And if you lose, it's a world of difference to be "ok I got outplayed, that was some solid play from them" than it is to be "ok, yeah, they had ten times the amount of wins than I have lifetime games of Tekken, this was inevitable". So you can go and fight and win and keep playing. The user experience is much better.

I also really appreciate Arcade Quest: It's basically a short, very interactive tutorial: Instead of going through hours of dry tutorialing, a more inductive style like this is far better for newcomers, it's got basic, colorful characters, lots of tutorials peppered in throughout its run time, and a friendly coat of paint so you can get acquainted with the different systems at a nice pace: Your initial opponents are pushovers, letting you get a feel for movement and attacking, then you reach the third or so arcade, and your tutorial guy goes "hey, I heard they defend really well here, and they like opening you up with lows, let's learn how to deal with these" and you get your tutorials on how to open up opponents as well as dealing with lows, and then you fight the people in that arcade and it's mostly opponents like Law, Lili, Bryan, Dragunov, who have snake edges (strong low sweeps that offer good oki or launch for air combos, depending on whether its a counter hit or not) and their AI is specially geared to using these lows, as well as having better defense against highs so you use throws or lows. It's less a story mode and more a series of flavored tutorials, and I think it's really good for a game to have to ease players into the game's meatier systems.

The high level good ass Tekken is all there, it's just, there's a far more concise way of getting there for people that didn't grow up playing these games or had the raw gumption to deal with the sometimes Spartan fighting game community standards for onboarding. It's not a dirt road leading to the beach anymore, they paved it nice and easy so more people can get there, at their own pace, whether it be speeding there on a car, or through a nice leisurely stroll. It's something that I can appreciate both as someone who grew up in arcades playing fighting games with randos and regulars, and as someone that loves good, welcoming, efficient game design and wants more people to discover the joy of the fighting game.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Kotoko's Clothes Throughout HARROW

CW Death and murder, vigilantism, online radicalization, mentions of kidnapping, Little Red Riding Hood (so a wolf eating someone and animal death)

In my Kotoko brainrot arc (aka working on a full HARROW analysis), and I think it's really interesting how much Kotoko's clothes seem to change throughout HARROW. Changing clothes in general usually represents character change, which certainly fits how much Kotoko's attitude towards everything seems to switch up as she becomes more and more radicalized (presumably by online discourse seeing some of the other stuff in the MV) and violent. Not to mention the whole Red Riding Hood thing. Let's take a look!

(Btw, I'm not going to talk about the weird changing clothes at the end of the MV, where her clothes are completely different when she sees the kidnapping than when she actually kills the serial killer. It's too much of a mess for this post, so I'll leave it for the full analysis)

(This has probably been done before but you can't stop me from posting >:D)

So, there's four distinct fits Kotoko wears in HARROW, which I'll call White Jacket, Blue and Yellow Jacket, Foggy Forest Fit, Murder Fit. (Clarification: I don't think she actually killed the alley dude, I'm calling it that exclusively for the final murder)

Let's go one by one, in order of appearance. White Jacket shows up first. It's made up of, as you can imagine, a white jacket with red streaks, shorts of the same color, a black tank top, and white shoes.

The interesting thing about this outfit is that it shows up first, then completely disappears after Kotoko attacks the man in the alley. Even when we later see her back in the studio, by that point she's already wearing her red hoodie. This makes sense, as the primary color used here is white. In this MV, I believe white is being used to represent purity of some kind, while red represents danger and aggression. So in this outfit, we see a Kotoko yet untainted by violence (white), but who already has that latent danger lurking underneath (red streaks). Hell, for all we know, she hasn't even dropped out of the faculty of law at this point.

(T1) Q7: What did you study at university?

KY: For a while, I studied at the faculty of law. There's something I want to do, so I'm currently taking a break from studies, though.

But also worth noting, in that first shot, the red hoodie she uses to murder is already behind her. Again, latent danger.

Her shoes are also important, because for Kotoko, shoes are her murder weapon. But not these shoes. The white, pure shoes are those of an innocent individual. In this case, it's because she literally hasn't done anything with them yet.

Finally, the black tank top, which she shares with her "murder" outfit. Allowing myself to go a bit insane, this is the piece of clothing literally closest to her heart. The black doesn't represent evil, but rather grief and pain, I believe.

Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy, the normalcy sought for, fading away, everytime death comes. The soul moves forward - I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break The surrounding net covered with poison

Want to find “HARROW” “HARROW” I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality

(Note: I personally think the person being distressed (harrow-ed) is Kotoko herself, becoming distressed at the world's evils. I also happen to think she considers herself "the person that can't be saved" but that's for another time)

So yeah, Kotoko's suffering a lot. We been knew.

Next up we have the "field investigation" fit, the one with the blue and yellow jacket.

Apart from the jacket, she wears a cap of the same brand, Jacques Roulet (I talked about that in this post), and some shorts. As you can see, her shoes are generally hidden, but I think they're the white ones? Either pair would make some sense, but the white ones fit better since Kotoko never performs any violent actions in this outfit.

As stated, this is the outfit Kotoko uses to investigate outside. Going in person to check out crime scenes, talking to the one guy... Thus, the blue of her jacket likely refers to wisdom, patience, intelligence, that kind of thing. It's "calmer" than the colors of the other outfits, because Kotoko is not showing her more dangerous parts (red).

See, the main thing about this design is that Kotoko is being guarded when she wears it. Note that this is the only one where she doesn't show her undershirt, which before I related to her feelings. The cap serves to further imply that, she's keeping herself vaguely hidden. Basically, in this fit, Kotoko is both hiding her feelings and vulnerabilities, as well as "hiding her fangs", if that makes sense. Presenting herself as calmer, more put together, and more rational than she actually is.

However, there's still the yellow. I think that one's meant to represent fun; Kotoko still enjoys what she's doing here. It may even be somewhat stylized as a thunderbolt, because electricity is usually related to excitement. As shown in her T1 Voice Reveal distorted line:

...Fufu... This feels so good.

(I would like to say that she obviously doesn't do vigilantism just for fun, because that's a weird take I've seen mentioned. She has other reasons, she just happens to enjoy it a bit)

The point is that this "fun" is still muted in comparison to the blue of the jacket, because it's essentially in the background. Kotoko's analysis and investigations are the most important parts of these scenes, the fact she happens to enjoy vigilantism is sort of incidental.

Last note for this one, having a "yellow streak" means being cowardly, but that doesn't really apply to Kotoko so we ignore it.

Then we have the outfit seen in the forest scenes. Red hoodie, white tank top, white shoes, black shorts. This one remains the same in all of these scenes.

The important thing to note here is that, because this is the one outfit we see exist inside her mind, this is how Kotoko sees herself, or more likely, how she would like to see herself. Note the black tanktop of despair (Milgram makes you say some ridiculouos shit huh) has been replaced with a pure white tanktop, because Kotoko doesn't want to be sad and hurt. Obviously. Similarly, her shoes remain white even after she attacks Oshii, because she still considers herself "innocent" in the sense of "justified."

Still, though, her hoodie is the red one she wears while murdering. Because she considers herself dangerous and powerful. And she is, girlboss stay winning (preferably away from the other prisoners though).

One important thing which many have pointed out before me is that, by virtue of wearing this red hoodie and being in a forest with wolves, this outfit seems connected to the story of Red Riding Hood. How exactly is a fun question, especially since Red Riding Hood is a fairy tale and thus doesn't have an official version, but let's see.

I imagine you know the gist of the story. Red Riding Hood (RRH) is a girl tasked with delivering food to her grandma, who is sickly and thus weak, but along the trail finds a wolf who asks her where she's going. The wolf then goes ahead as RRH gets distracted, and the wolf ends up eating the grandma and disguising as her. When RRH arrives at the house, she notices the grandma looks slightly different, before she gets eaten too. In later tellings a huntsman comes in and cuts the wolf's stomach open, allowing the grandma and RRH to escape unharmed, somehow. The wolf is also insanely resilient evidently, as it's still alive at this point, but the humans fill its stomach with rocks and then it dies.

... This story is a lot darker than I remembered.

We already have a few superficially shared themes with Kotoko. Protecting the weak, calling out deception... wolves-

In particular, being devoured by the wolf could be seen as Kotoko being consumed by the radicalization which led her to murder. This is especially notable because of the actual underlying themes of Red Riding Hood. See, the story is generally interpreted to be about "rites of passage" and rebirth, where RRH exiting the wolf's stomach is the rebirth. Generally it's connected more to children growing up and going through puberty, but for Kotoko we need a more general reading. As I said before, changing clothes is sometimes considered a symbol of change of character, and Kotoko certainly changes a bit throughout HARROW. For example, by forming an idea of what a "win" entails in the context of her vigilantism.

Stained emotions, what is winning or losing?

“I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?

Hell, one of the last lyrics in the song, which plays over a scene of the foggy forest, explicitly says it.

Newly born “HARROW” “HARROW”

And if you need any more symbolism, Red Riding Hood is also sometimes interpreted as representing natural cycles, with the girl being the sun (that's why her cloak is red) and the wolf being the night "eating" her, before dawn (when the girl gets out of the stomach). A completion of one of these cycles is also a symbol of change and rebirth;

Goodnight “HARROW” “HARROW” Laugh and I can get to like myself

so when Kotoko says "goodnight" to herself, she's making an oath to change, say goodbye to the old her and greet dawn with a new version of herself, one which she actually likes ("laugh and I can get to like myself").

And there is an actual cycle referenced in the video. The moon in the forest scenes is always a waning moon, except at the end, where it's a full moon, which is not just connected to werewolves and thus indicates Kotoko "completing her transformation and getting her fangs", but it also represents the end of the lunar cycle. Again, rebirth.

Not to mention the fact dawn breaks in the last scene.

You get it? Natural cycles being completed, being reborn, etc. Kotoko transforms herself significantly as she kills the "wolf", probably the serial killer dude.

And yet, her clothes in these forest sections never changes. To me, this shows a disconnect between how Kotoko sees herself and the way she actually is.

Timelines - 20/6/18 Kotoko: Treat you [Amane] like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. 

This is demonstrably false. I just spent several paragraphs talking about how much Kotoko changes throughout HARROW, let alone during the last 8 years of her life. The point is that Kotoko doesn't realize how radicalized she's becoming while browsing all the websites we see her going on during the video. And you know, there's probably some interesting social commentary and character complexity to talk about there, but if I get too much into it I will be here forever, so I'll leave that as food for thought.

Anyways, you may have noticed I'm not really talking about the pants. You're right! Moving on.

Finally, her murder fit. Same red hoodie as last one, but with a black tanktop and black leggings.

Her shoes are also different, a pair of men's shoes which are also her murder weapon. You see how they're (primarily) grey instead of white? Get it? Because she sees herself as only good and morally right, but she's (say it with me everyone) morally gray.

(Using both spellings to bother everyone)

I've already talked about how her red hoodie represents her violence and danger, literally covering up her black tank top of despair (might as well just run with the term).

Finally, I know I haven't been talking about the pants since I didn't see anything too interesting, but the change from shorts to leggings did catch my eye. However, I think that may just be a more 'practical' change as opposed to a 'symbolism' change. I imagine that if you're doing something illegal like beating up some dude in an alley, you'd feel more comfortable the less skin you showed, even if rationally there shouldn't be any way to identify Kotoko just by her legs.

I know I wouldn't kill with shorts and a t-shirt, but give me some leggings though, and I'm already looking at Amane's mother like she isn't dead enough yet-

Ehem. Disregard that last point.

Well, that's the end! As I said, I'm not gonna deal with the change of clothing at the end of the video, because to explain that I would have to explain an entire murder theory and talk about how I don't actually think Kotoko ever saw the exact scenes we see in the small room with the wooden floor, etc, which is all just too complicated for what's supposed to be a relatively short post. I'll address it in my full analysis, but there's too much going on for me to explain it here. With that said, I hope you enjoyed reading! Take care!