#I promise I'm working on the rest of them

[lostbookmark]

Read the original story here

Summary: You thought planning your wedding was going to be a magical memory. You didn't realize that it might make you second guess everything. 

Pairing: Fiancée Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Hurt-Comfort

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Toxic Family Dynamics, Arguments,  Sex Toys, Self Doubt, Over Thinking, Yoongi Overworking Himself,

A/N : Here is a super small teaser for Whispered Vows. I'm hoping in about 2 weeks or so, I'll feel comfortable enough to start posting. Enjoy!

Entering the code to Yoongi's studio, you watch him as he sits at his desk with big headphones draped over his ears. His head was bobbing up and down to music that he was working on, and the clicking sound of his keyboard filled the quiet room. Closing the door, you walk over to him and gently place your hands on his shoulders, massaging them slowly. He groans, and his head falls forward in pleasure. You can feel his stiff shoulders start to relax under your touch. Sighing, he reaches around the back of his chair and pulls you into his lap. Yoongi takes off his headphones, tosses them gently on his desk, and gives you a quick kiss before resting his head on your shoulder. You run your hands through his dark hair, trying to comfort yourself from the stress of the day.

“How was lunch?” he asked, pulling his head away from you to look you in the eyes.

“There was no lunch. There were, however, five different wedding venues,” you tell him, and he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you questioningly.

“What? I thought you told your mom to stop that,” he said, eyes drifted back to his screen. His slim fingers go back to clicking away on his mouse.

“I did, but you know that she won't listen,” you say, pulling on the black strings of his hoodie. You twist them tightly around one another and let go just to have them unravel. “One of them held 300 people and cost about 20 thousand dollars.”

“Excuse me?” he says, looking at you with wide eyes. You fully have his attention now. “20,000, 300? Who needs 300 people at a wedding? We are not spending 20k on a venue. A beautiful dress that I get to rip off you at the end of the night…sure.... but not the venue.”

You roll your eyes at him and shove him with your shoulder lightly with a small smile on your face. “Yeah I know, but supposedly it's going to be an extravagant event with a lot of important people. With you being all rich and famous….I have to impress people. I was told we need the best champagne, chandeliers, fondues, and the perfect sunset,” you explain.

“Rich and famous,” he said with a laugh. “That’s just stupid. Unless....is that what you want?” He asks you, eyes flicker between you and the screen .

“Of course not. What do you want?” You counter as your fingers continue to twist the strings of his hoodie.

“I want what you want,” he said distractedly, not even looking at you this time. His fingers continued to click away at his mouse. His focus was back on the crowded screen, which was his computer monitor as he watched colorful waves move across the screen.

Yoongi has been busy. Maybe that's why you haven't set a date or had any details figured out yet. He's been pulling long nights in the studio just to come home a couple of nights a week to sleep for a few hours and shower. He was usually gone by the time you woke up on those nights. The last thing that you wanted to do was bother him with questions about your future wedding. You didn't think centerpieces were high on his priority list right now. He promised you that this was only temporary, but honestly, you're not sure. Several artists that they have signed are growing in popularity, and the demand for songs are coming in strong. He's tired. You can see it in his face, and you can't see this stopping anytime soon.

[evilgwrl]

hey sunshine 🥰 could you possibly do the 141 with a hyper independent reader? id love to see how they handle a s/o like this!! if not, i totally understand 💜💜 enjoy your sunday

Ofc!! I hope this is what you were looking for, I'm not the most educated on hyper-independence but I tried to do a lil research <3 Sorry it took me so long to write it, I've been having a hectic week

Your feet strummed against the floor; body restless as you looked at the flock of emails piling up. Fidgety hands were tugging at your hair as you looked at the time. Your laptop shut with a huff as you walked into the kitchen, eager to eat as your stomach grumbled.

There was a soft shell of steam covering the room, food broiling in the oven as you turned your attention to the chopping board. You swore quickly, the smell of burning sauce catching your attention as you turned to quickly stir it. Your body swayed back and forth, constantly focusing on something new as you struggled to keep up.

You had a strict schedule, always needing to be on top of everything. You enjoyed the smiles on the boy’s faces when they came through the door to a cooked meal. It was different today, however. Work had finished later than usual, pushing your activity back as the boys walked through the door.

“Hey, bonnie,” Soap flattered, pressing a kiss to your head as he looked at the kitchen, every saucer in use.

“Hi,” you smiled, swatting his hands away as he attempted to stir something.

“Smells good, love,” John cooed, husky breath against your neck as he hugged you from behind.

“I’ll set up the dining table,” Kyle chirped as you quickly yelped at a ‘no’.

“No, no. I’ve got it. Just go sit down. It’s nearly done.”

Simon raised a brow, taking in your quick no. They knew you enjoyed working alone, it just seemed easier for you, but the scene before him was overwhelming to look at as you rubbed at your forehead, pulling something out of the oven.

“We’re happy to help, sweet’art, just let-“

“No, no, I promise its fine. Please just go sit down.”

You were consistent as you shushed them out of the kitchen with a handtowel, turning your attention back to the scene in front of you. Soap frowned as he sat down, resting his chin in his hand.

“She’s gonna work ‘erself to death,” Simon scowled, concerned.

“You know how she is, she’s independent,” Gaz quipped, rubbing a brow.

You were a flurry, piling food onto the plates before they grew cold. You were quick to place all their plates down and hurry back, grabbing a stack of cutlery and cups, the glass pile slightly tipped. John raised from his seat to assist you as you pulled back, offering him a gentle smile.

“Let me help, dove.”

“I’ve got it, I don’t need help,” you spoke quickly as you moved too fast, the glasses tipping over as they clattered against the floor, shards of crystal collecting at your feet as you hissed, the four men surrounding you quickly raising to their feet.

Your legs padded against the floor as you hurried to the kitchen to grab a dustpan from under the sink, Soap quickly in toe. It was overwhelming as they crowded around you, trying to grab the scoop from your fidgety hands before you snapped, “I don’t need your help, just eat your food.”

Your tone was harsh as they stilled, staring at you with concern. Your face felt hot, unshed tears welling in your eyes at the situation. The glass collected in the black box, flickers of shimmer dancing off the sharp shards as you grabbed your own plate, heading to your bedroom.

You weren’t sure where it came from, the need to never ask for help but it ate at you until your body was scolding with overworked heat. The night ticked by slowly as you cooped yourself up in the warmth of your sheets, only getting up to clean as you walked to the kitchen, no mess in sight.

“I hope you don’t mind that we cleaned up, figured you had done enough for us today,” Price’s voice was soft, a glide of comfort slipping from his tongue as he placed his hand’s on his hips.

“I could’ve done it.”

“I know, we all know. But we’re here too, love. It’s not fair for you to take on every load of responsibility. You deserve help. We’re not going anywhere, and we want to show you that we appreciate you too.”

The words settled in your chest as you stared at him, placing the plate in the sink as you offered him a polite glance, attempting to wrap around everything he was saying.

“Thank you,” you said, eyes low as you began to wash. The tickle of hair was felt around your waist, along with two arms as Kyle pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your neck.

“We want to help you, love. You don’t need to go through anything alone, we’re here to support you the way you support us.”

You swallowed deeply.

“We don’t want to overwhelm you either, we just want our girl to feel the best she can,” Price spoke.

It was harder for you to talk about your feelings, your heart chained in between your rib cage, the need to ask for help always at the tip of your tongue but never able to leave, keeping you prisoner to your own despair. The boys left you for a little bit, asking you to join them in the living room when you were ready. There was a gentle pit of anxiety in your stomach as you huffed, ensuring everything had been done before you joined them.

It was a sweet sight to walk into. They were spread on the couch, reassuring smiles on their faces as Soap held his hands out towards the table, a chocolate cake decorated with the words ‘Thank you’ on it along with a bouquet of pink peonies.

You laughed, “When did you have time to get all this?”

“I’m quick,” Ghost beamed, tapping the spot between them as you huddled over.

“Thank you,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to each of their cheeks. It was hard for you to comprehend you had people wanting to help you, and you knew they would never be able to understand what it was like for you, but they tried their hardest, and that was the greatest gift you could ask for.

“Can I eat some cake now?” Soap chorused as you laughed, rubbing the back of his head before nestling into Kyle.

[yesimwriting]

Importance

a/n i don't even feel the need to justify my taste in evil men anymore lmao, here's a drabble as i try to figure homelander's 'voice' :))

Summary: Homelander begins to reflect on your sort of friendship when you come over to watch a scary movie.

Warnings/info: me writing for a character for the first time so pls be nice

----

Humanity's connection to fear has always been a subject of fleeting interest to him, a concept that's only occasionally managed to become more than a shift of hormones and heart rate.

Now, though, with your legs pulled beneath you on his couch, body angled towards him, yet eyes still glued to the screen, Homelander can't believe he's never given this kind of adrenaline a second thought.

"You okay?"

The question seems to bring you back, your head turning towards him. "Yeah." What the response lacks in certainty, it makes up for in determination. He can see it in your soft nod, in the way your fingers press into your knees.

The nerves you're doing your very best to hide are so different from your usual demeanor. An investigative journalist who's always running headfirst into danger, who never lets fear of retaliation get in the way of your writing, can't get through a scary movie. It's such a prevalent dichotomy, Homelander has to work at keeping himself neutral, at remaining focused on what's in front of--

"Stop," you mumble, the word far from harsh.

He lifts a shoulder in a partial shrug without removing his arm from the back of the couch. "Stop what?"

You tilt your chin downwards, your lips pulled into the start of a pout as you attempt a glare. The expression is so particularly you, it briefly seizes some remote, unnamed aspect of his being that lives deep inside of his chest. "Stop making fun of me--I told you, horror movies make me so jumpy, none of my other friends will watch them with me anymore."

Other friends. The reminder of the others that get to be recipients of your kind smiles and reassuring glances is usually enough to taint his mood, but there's a warmth to the phrase that redeems the sentiment entirely. He's more than a friend, he's the only one that's here for you.

Homelander straightens slightly, arm shifting forward until his fingertips are against your shoulder. For the briefest second, there's an increase in your general tension, a stillness that doesn't suit you. The implication of tension digs at him--he's been this close to you before, closer even.

Before the thought of rejection can fully latch onto him, you're easing, spine relaxing against the couch's cushioning. The new position is enough encouragement for him to continue, his palm coming to rest against the fabric of your shirt, the loose collar letting the side of his hand feel the warmth of your bare collarbone.

He remains steady, leaning into what he knows as he offers you one of his more subtle, yet openly heroic smiles. It's the kind of look he'd use to comfort an almost-victim, the gentle curve of his lips a silent promise. I'm here. You're okay now.

You watch him in that way of yours--eyebrows drawn together and eyes bright yet not exactly admiring in the way that he's accustomed to. His inability to understand that particular look is what drew him to you in the first place.

"I'm not making fun of you," he says, voice leaving no room for argument, "I'm just making sure you're okay. It's why you wanted to watch this with me, right?"

It's not so much an exaggeration as it is a stretching of context. You had mentioned wanting to watch the movie, but not loving the idea of watching it by yourself. You hadn't meant anything by mentioning it during your coffee shop catch up, you never do. Your words are usually free of both probing and placating subtext.

"I wanted to watch this with you because we're friends." There's a genuineness to the correction that jabs at him. He has no response, but you don't seem to mind the silence.

A high pitched scream and a flash of color has your attention drifting towards the screen. Your adrenaline spikes, a fact you attempt to dismiss by leaning into his touch. "It's nice of you to check in, though."

The acceptance leaves him feeling a little warmer than he did a moment ago. You have a way of doing that. "It's what I'm here for."

You look away from the screen, the corner of your mouth tugging itself upwards. "All in a day's work for America's favorite hero."

"This is top priority."

You let out a breath that feels like more of a laugh. "I feel important."

The movie steals your focus, a fact that a part of Homelander is grateful for. You're too distracted to think of what contemplating your value might do to him. He swallows, a pointed dismissal of the uncomfortable feelings probing at his chest.

You move slowly, legs straightening and feet finding the floor. Before Homelander can overthink the changes, you lean towards him, your head coming to rest against his shoulder.

[ninjaturtlemaniac]

Parasite? Happy Broppy Day!

Poppy stuck her head into the doorway.

“Branch?!”

No response.

Next room?

“Branch?!”

The emptiness of the half built room made her voice echo.

She continued down the hallways. There's quite a few rooms he could still be in.

Lots more rooms than I remember being in the plans. More places to hide! I'll have to note the best spots I find.

“Braaaanch! I love hide and seek as much as the next Troll but no one has seen you all day and it's getting dark~!” She called out in a singsong voice.

She stopped in the main ballroom. The construction Trolls were finishing up for the day and packing away their equipment.

One of them noticed her in the doorway.

“Queen Poppy, did you need something?”

“Have any of you seen Branch today?”

“I saw King Branch this morning!” A Troll further away from them shouted.

“Wonderful! Where did you see him?”

“North edge of the village.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“I tried, he wouldn't let anyone near him!”

“What do you mean?”

“He told us he had very important King duties to attend to and he shouldn't be disturbed. Which is fair, if I had important King duties I wouldn't want to be disturbed either.”

The trolls around him nodded in agreement.

“Thank you everyone. Everything is looking fantastic. Please have a good night annnnd you know what? Take a rest day tomorrow.”

The trolls cheered with high fives and praises for their Queen as they left.

King duties? North village edge?

Poppy tried to think what would be upsetting Branch that he would be avoiding everyone.

If Branch was here, he would be able to figure out what was upsetting Branch.

She tapped her chin as she made her way to the north edge to find clues.

Poppy hadn't gone this long without Branch around her since he was still living in…

The Bunker!

Once she knew where to go, Poppy was at the hatch in no time.

She grabbed the handle and pulled.

Nothing happened.

She knocked.

No response.

Maybe he's not here?

She thought about leaving but then noticed the pile of dirt next to the hatch.

Almost as if the hatch had been opened recently and the build up of dirt had slid off.

Good work me!

Poppy knocked loudly on the hatch and called out his name over and over.

“Go away!” a muffled voice shouted from below her.

“Branch it's me, Poppy!”

“Poppy, go home! You can't be here! It's not safe!”

“Not safe?! Branch what's wrong? Let me help you! Please let me in!”

Poppy pulled harder on the handle.

“I can't!”

“Why?!”

“Cause I'm dying!”

Poppy didn't let go of the hatch, but she did stop in surprise.

“Branch, this isn't funny. You're scaring me. If you love me you will open this hatch!”

“It's because I love you that I will not open this hatch!”

“Whatever is making you feel like you're dying, we made a promise. In sickness and in health! Remember? I'm not leaving!”

They argued back and forth over and over for a while before Branch stopped responding and descended back down his elevator.

An upset Poppy rushed back to the village to find Branch’s brothers.

She was able to reach Floyd and Boom's pod first.

They were able to calm her down long enough to get a vague explanation of what was going on.

They decided Boom would go and get the other brothers while Floyd went back to the hatch with Poppy.

After a while all of the brothers as well as Boom were all attempting to help Poppy get Branch to open up about why he thought he was dying.

At the very least they were trying to get him out of the bunker.

They all had very different ideas.

“Branch, it's Bruce. I'm going to count to three and you better hope that this hatch is open by the time I get to three. ONE…. TWO…”

Clay crossed his arms “Bruce, stop. I can feel Branch rolling his eyes from here.”

Floyd pulled a sleeping Angel out of his hair and handed him over to Boom.

Angel immediately began fussing.

Floyd sat down next to the hatch.

“Branch, okay, you're sick. I understand that and I believe you.”

Floyd winked at Poppy.

“But how do you know YOU are patient zero? You might have picked it up from someone in town?”

There was a long silence before he finally responded.

“…..Maybe?”

“So why don't you tell me what kinda sick you are? Poppy can check with everyone in town to make sure it doesn't spread any further.”

“……..Well…”

Poppy silently cheered that Branch was finally sharing what was wrong.

“My hair, it's somehow oily and dry at the same time but also changing shape at random. It's flaking and itching and it's making my whole body hurt! I have split ends! I've never had split ends! I haven't been able to find what it is in ANY of my books on diseases and chronical illnesses but that just means it's more important you guys stay away!”

Bruce sighed as he looked over to Boom. Angel’s cries had woken Phoenix and John Dory was trying his best to help Boom soothe them.

His eyebrows shot up.

How did he not think of it sooner?

“Branch, have you been getting sharp aches down your neck?”

“…Yeah?”

Bruce chuckled deeply.

“Bro, you can pop open that hatch. You're not gonna get anyone sick. I promise.”

“How can you promise that?”

“Becaauuuuuse I've had this before!”

A series of mechanical knocking sounds were heard, before the hatch finally lifted slightly.

Branch's eyes appeared just below the lid.

“…You have?”

“Sure have! Thirteen times!”

“THIRTEEN?! And it's not contagious?”

“Not in the slightest!”

“What is it then, if it's not contagious, is it genetic?”

“ HA ! In a way, yes!” He grinned. “Come on out, Branch. I'll show you.”

He hesitated, but Branch lifted the hatch all the way and slowly stepped out.

The group was able to collectively let out the breath they had been holding.

Poppy launched herself at Branch and held onto him tightly.

“Okay, what's wrong with me, Bruce?”

Bruce gestured for Branch to lower his head so he could look in his hair.

Branch hesitated but slowly lowered his head.

Bruce gently pushed his hands through his brother's hair.

The thick hair tried to push back but Bruce was able to get to the particular spot.

It confirmed his theory.

He smiled widely and laughed.

He held the hair open with one hand and used the other to invite Poppy over to look for herself.

She blinked in confusion at first.

A knot?

…

Wait?

A ‘KNOT’ KNOT?!

She gasped and looked over to Bruce for confirmation.

He nodded.

“EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEE!”

Poppy squealed!

Branch was startled out of Bruce's reach.

“What?! What is it?! Is there like a parasite or something?! Someone better tell me or… I'll do something, I'm not sure yet!”

“Branch, you silly Troll, it's not a parasite, it's a baby!”

Everyone around them gasped!

“A….a what?” he said shakily.

Bruce put a hand on Branch's shoulder.

“Branch you're hair is forming an egg!”

Branch's eyes darted back and forth, waiting for the punchline.

He touched his hair slightly.

He thought back to everything that's happened.

It actually made sense.

“An…. an egg… I.. that's… wow… Poppy”

“Branch?”

She held out her hands, inviting him to take them.

“I'm so sorry Poppy. I just-”

“Stop right there mister! You did what you thought you had to do. You were willing to cut yourself off from the world to keep everyone safe.”

“You're not mad?”

“Oh believe me, I am so mad right now!”

Her voice became much softer as she stroked his face.

“But at the same time, how can I be mad right now?”

“We're…having a baby” he laughed through small happy tears.

Poppy held his face and they shared a sweet kiss.

Poppy grinned wide as her body became jittery.

“Pleasepleaseplease pleaaaase! Can I get excited now?”

He smirked.

“I'll allow it.”

And Poppy burst!

“AHHHHHHH! AN EGG! WE'RE HAVING A BABY! GUYS WE'RE HAVING A BABY. I'M GONNA BE A MOMMY! BRANCH IS GONNA BE A DADDY!”

Everyone cheered excitedly. Shouting their congratulations over each other.

Poppy jumped between each brother, hugging them tightly in her excitement.

“AHHH! WE HAVE TO TELL VIVA! But oooooh we should probably tell Dad first. Then of course I have to tell Bridget, but then…”

Poppy continued listing off everyone they should tell. She wasn't telling anyone in particular, just kinda listing thm to herself out loud.

Branch received hugs and congratulations from each of them as well.

This was definitely better than how he thought the night was going to go.

Branch looked over to Floyd and Boom holding their two sleeping babies in their arms.

He smiled sweetly, suddenly being able to picture a similar future, with he and Poppy and their own kid.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 17: more B&L

And more fourth wall, and therefore more Pengolodh.

TW: Some musings about what exactly Morgoth wanted to do with Luthien, but vague and rather silly.

Sauron, like everyone there knew Huan's "die on greatest wolf" prophecy. Where from???

Luthien faints! She's not that OP. Her cloak dazes Sauron and Huan saves the day. She takes the island, Sauron flees and doesn't notice Gondolin (I guess Ulmo did his mist thing).

Luthien says that she claims the island and the island replies! The magic goes away and it all crumbles (described in a very awesome way) and the ex-prisoners are in shock (who wouldn't?).

Luthien faints at the fainted Beren, because she thinks he's dead. Of all the books you had to reference Romeo and Juliet? Professor… It's a parody more than a serious thing. And it's so… But ok, maybe that's the point. Maybe the point is that of course B&L don't harm themselves because they have a functioning braincell. And estel. Not necessarily in this order.

Also, we get the note that Finrod is already with his father in Valinor. When? When is this written? I guess the only way to get this info back from Valinor to ME would be the War of Wrath, or maaaybe Gandalf told Elrond. But Gandalf barely remembered anything, so more like War of Wrath. Or Galadriel saw him in the mirror and she told Elrond who added this to the book. This would make sense.

Do we have any info on "Finrod got reembodied quickly" except this line above + fanon?

Nargothrond rebels against C&C and Orodreth becomes king. He doesn't kill them because he is afraid of getting more Doom of Mandos. This… isn't a very moral attitude. Well, at least he doesn't kill them.

Also, Celebrimbor disowns his dad. Or at least his dad's deeds.

Beren, against his better judgment, tries to leave Luthien in safety but she tells him it doesn't work this way.

They fight C&C. Luthien forbids Beren to kill Curufin. Which is great of her. (I wonder what she'd say about Celegorm, but probably the same.)

Curufin curses Beren. "Taking the sky and clouds as his witness" – I guess he is too afraid / too ashamed to mention the Valar. :þ He wishes Beren a painful death, soon. Which …kind of works?

Celegorm tbh doesn't do much in here. He does fight Beren, but Curufin seems to be the boss.

Beren is desperate, leaves alone, sings, Luthien (who was searching for him because no, she won't let him go on the quest alone) sings back. Again. It's not a full rescue, but still, it is the song thing again.

Description of Thuringwethil, who is just a large bat with iron (liteerally? metaphorically?) talons. And Sauron's mail-lady. Mail-monster? Sadly, we don't get an info on who killed her.

Beren curses his promise to Thingol, Huan lectures him, gives him a sort of prophecy and leaves. Why is everyone cursing things all the time?

Morgoth also knows what Huan's fate is (Everyone knows it. How? Did Celegorm gloat about it?), also, more info on how werewolves are made. So, Carcaroth.

Luthien gets a burst of Maiarin powers (because fate, plot and all. Yes. I know. But this is the genre.)

We got an absolute metal description of Morgoth's throne room: "his nethermost hall that was upheld by horror, lit by fire, and filled with weapons of death and torment". Upheld by horror. This is just peak description. (as long as it's sparse and the rest of description is actual description. Yes, HPL, I am looking at you) unspeakably

Morgoth, umm, reacts in a similar way as Celegorm, and we're told that it was the wickest idea he got since he escaped from Valinor. Which:

I respect Tolkien for putting it so high on the wickedness meter

Does the "since he escaped" addition mean that killing the Trees was more wicked??? Sorry, I'm not buying it. Depraving the Elves? Hmm. Making orcs was more wicked in my opinion (in the "from broken Elves" theory), and he indeed invented it before the whole imprisonment in Valinor, so I would like to assume this is what the narration means, but I somehow doubt it.

Please don't tell me that indirectly giving Feanor bad ideas was somehow more wicked than this. :|

Also, him and the Men… but that is vaguely canon and anyway Pengolodh said himself that he doesn't know what happenned, so this doesn't count. Because if it counted, this "most wicked" would be false.

And of course it turns against him. He gets blinded, everyone else falls asleep, the Silmarils glow brighter (reacting to Luthien?).

Out of the blue, we now get a quite sympathetic description of Morgoth being so tired and terrified and worried and …. see, Jirt, that's why. That's why I can't read him as you would like me to. Seriously. If you don't want me to have compassion for the guy, do not show him as emotionally vulnerable. Seriously. [Unless it is the translation again]

Yea, I could blame this on narrative frame (which goes on and off, in one paragraph he doesn't know things, and in the other he almost knows what Morgoth's inner emotional state is) and say that Pengolodh made it up… except it's very much a kind of thing he would not make up, rather cut out… I would have to assume some other author or editor added this for some reasons… If I were to guess, this very much sounds like something Luthien would say when telling this story. (Which tells us a lot about her)

Anyway: book, what are you doing?

And Luthien puts Morgoth to sleep (which is an achievement!!!), "as black as the Outer Void where he once wandered alone". Jirt. Seriously. Stop giving me ammunition to like him. I almost wish I had more normal reactions and, idk, assumed more details on what he planned about Luthien or anything that would allow me to read it closer to the authorial intent. (Because with how cautiously you worded it, it might have as well been planning to propose to her and make her a dark queen, Haladriel-style, but cooler. And from a book that says "corrupting Fefe was one of the worst" I could assume this would be still called "wickedest since fefe". I know that's not what you mean, but I wish I could internalize it more.)

My brain is not braining properly. (Also I can't learn to not mistake "wonder" and "wander" every once in a while. I blame it on that one song from RoP. Which is almost as uneven in quality in my eyes as this chapter.)

At least, we get a description of how the Silmarils were set in the crown. (Also, my drawing was wrong, because Morgoth falls face-down.)

Beren takes the Silmaril and it glows through his flesh like in a lantern (White or red? Seems more like white, but red often works better with fanart.)

Luthien is out of spell points tired, Beren tries to use the Silmaril on Carcaroth, saying "this is the fire that will destroy you and all the evil creatures" which I think is quite stupid, so Carcaroth promptly bites off his hand, chomps the Silmaril and runs away because he's in pain.

"Stupid but well-intentioned thing doesn't work but gets the result anyway" is a trope I like, but sadly in Legendarium it is terribly rare. Again, B&L have a different genre than the Feanorians. :(

Another "the most X to ever X": Carcaroth's rage is the most terrible thing to happen to Beleriand (before the War of Wrath). OK, I can believe this, I think.

Eagles! They should really have a tagline about providing eucatastrophes. It's their main job.

Morgoth is probably awake, because volcano and lightnings are striking from the gound (lightning seems to be his thing, and thunderstorms in general too).

Luthien (in contrast to Sauron) can see Gondolin down below and it gets a beautiful (but short) description. Also, she'd rather wander aimlessly with Beren because she is so happy, but he remembers that he gave his word, also Thingol deserves to see his daughter, despite all his problematic behavior. Beren is so kind.

We get a lot of information from Luthien's PoV in this story, more than Beren's, which confirms to me that in-world, this is derived from Thingol's retellings of their story, and Luthien told him more than Beren did. Also, he was unconcious in many important moments.

Also, we get a note that it's bad to ignore father's opinion, "unless in extreme situation" which sounds quite feminist to me, considering Tolkien's times and the genre.

Meanwhile in Doriath:

Daeron left Doriath to be sad for Luthien's disappearance (we aren't told if he even learned that she returned with Beren). Well, he did snitch on her twice. :þ Also, we are reminded that "he was considered better even than Maglor". :Þ

Thingol is mad at Celegorm (for the "let me marry Luthien pls" letter + probably for Finrod's death), he'd like to attack all Feanorians, but can't, so he writes to Maedhros demanding help in finding Luthien, but the letter gets eaten by Carcaroth (probably. Definitely doesn't reach its destination) so we don't know what Maedhros would do.

[I think: berate Celegorm, agree to help with Luthien and demand the Silmaril for it. Which… Thingol may have agreed to tbh. He cared for Luthien more. So, maybe if it wasn't for Carcaroth things would be better. Even for Celegorm. There's a fic potential in here.]

Oh, here is Mablung. He will be in CoH too, I think.

Thingol is still not a fan of Beren. Until the hand pun. Absolutely realistic father-in-law behavior. :D I love the genre whiplash.

And the narrative tells us that Luthien's love is a feeling unknown before and all the powers of Arda cannot stop B&L's fate. I'm not a fan of this sentence, it makes me cringe a bit. Did I mention that I dislike romance as a genre?

Anyway Thingol ok-s it and they get married.

Hunt for Carcaroth. The way in which Mablung takes the Silmaril gives me a vague Arthurian (Grail) vibe, but I'm not sure. It is weird and the disappearing hand seems the medieval sort of weird?

Beren dies, Luthien … It doesn't say explicitely that she died of grief. I would prefer to believe that it was more like her Maiarin instinct… she went to Mandos, because she had a business there.

Also. Men after their death sail from the dark shores of the Outer Sea — what? That is so cool. And who runs the port there, who has a house on the very edge? Nienna! This is just so fascinating. Early-Legendarium-like but in the best way.

Luthien sings the most beautiful song that has been made. OK, I can buy that. And, says Pengolodh, there wasn't, nor will ever be a saddest song. My guy, you would sound wiser if you stopped saying what will be and what will not be, you are not Namo. But anyway, her song is beautiful and very, very sad.

This song is so amazing that it's still sang in Valinor, without any change, and the Valar are sad. that is… interesting to explore. It is about Men and Elves and even Namo is sad… yes, I am definitely getting ideas. Which may be explored some day. Or not.

I wonder whether we get the words of it in the Lay... No, the Lay doesn't go this far. I therefore will assume that it starts with "the stars have faded" or something similar, like we have described Luthien's grief in the chapter: "the starlight was quenched and darkness had fallen even upon Lúthien Tinúviel"

B&L say their goodbyes, Namo is so moved that he goes to Manwe, Manwe goes to (metaphorically; mentally in his deepest mind) Iluvatar, Luthien gets a choice.

And the invitation to forget Beren and live among the Valar… I'm not sure what is the exact deal here? Is she offered just a normal Elven Valinorean deal or to make her a full-on Maia? Because it kind of sounds like this. And… why not? The word "impossible" got yeeted out the window anyway (I love such situations, of course I do, I love the insane out-of-the-box-ness as Mairon loved order and efficiency, but hopefully the other way around ie.: it is a problem first and not last).

Anyway we don't know what exactly was the first option, because she choses Beren (I really like to think it was less about "romance means so much to me, I am not complete without my man" and more about "it feels like a beautiful idea (and I do love him and forgetting it sounds cheap and too easy)" but … have I mentioned I don't like romance as a genre?)

Luthien was the only Elda to truely die… Yep. Hold our beers and behold our fics. (Or maybe it is just my optics that Elves going "because Luthien made a precedent" is a fic staple? Anyway this makes too much sense to not use it.)

Yes, she's the only one in the canon. She died and it's sad. But we got half-Elves which is cool. Also, and we got a teaser for Elrond and Arwen:

"Yet in her choice the Two Kindreds have been joined; and she is the forerunner of many in whom the Eldar see yet, though all the world is changed, the likeness of Lúthien the beloved, whom they have lost."

Also, poor Elrond. This paragraph shows us how he is seen by other Eldar. First and foremost as a memory of a long-lost legend. :(

I feel like I missed some of the cool parts, but nevermind. TLDR: Luthien cool, narrative frame inconsistent.

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobodysdaydreams Here you go

Chapter 28

BODS THE TITLE IS SCARING ME

This part really feels like TPD, with all the planning and secrecy

Ajdsdjfk Constance just staring at him really intently to freak him out

Poor Nathaniel

“It was rather unsettling, though being physically assaulted by one of the children was a much less frightening concept to Nathaniel than the possibility of having his mind read.”

Yeah, unfortunately that tracks

Reynie being all polite is very cute, though. And then there’s Kate, who is on the defensive every time

“Like he’s just some guy named Nathaniel now?”

Kate and the importance of names again! I need to write another analysis about that

And of course her lovely nickname suggestion

Yeah, Reynie!! The “L” stands for “Le”! It’s weird, right?

I’m very pleased that Constance is the one to reveal Curtain’s full name

Sticky’s aunt!! I love her so much, you don’t even understand. I was so hugely upset by how the Show changed things, but you’ve turned that all around and now she’s one of my favourite background characters in your story.

“He sleeps, he eats, he takes up space,” said Constance. “And he cleans. A lot. Obsessively. It’s concerning and confirms what we already knew. The man has serious mental problems.”

I don’t know how you positively nail each character voice every time!! It’s so impressive, and I love when certain lines stick out in my head because I feel I can hear them being said <3

Kate’s house!! Such a good plot point, so full of memories and emotion

Marcus! Marcus is so sweet. I’m really glad that you talked more about him, Sticky deserves to have good friends

Miss Perumal and Rhonda! A very good team. (And possibly the most forgiving out of the grownups, besides Mr. Benedict of course)

Ooohhhhhh. SQ photo album…

I AM NEVER GOING TO STOP BEING UPSET THAT HE WON’T TALK ABOUT HOW CLOSE HE WAS WITH THE WETHERALLS

BODS YOUR FLOORBOARDS ARE MINE

NATHANIEL. I get that you two are different in some ways, but. YOU’RE IDENTICAL TWINS??? SAYING SQ LOOKS MORE LIKE NICHOLAS ISN’T THAT BIG OF A DIFFERENCE??

Of course, it’s not his exact physical appearance that Nathaniel’s talking about, it’s more the fact that he feels too guilty and undeserving to be associated with his son. Because nothing is ever simple with this man

I love when Miss Perumal gets to talk about parenting with Nathaniel, it’s so interesting. I don’t know, because I don’t have kids, but to me it seems like you’re doing a really good job writing about it, Bods

Poor Number Two. She’s right, even though no one knows it yet. There is something suspicious going on :( 

Garrison mention!! Garrison would probably like to stay as far away from this mess as possible, but of course they aren’t going to let her do that

And naturally the thing that Nicholas fixes on is correcting his brother that Constance is his “roommate”. Not the ridiculousness of anything else in the statement

I like how you use the verb “comforted” often, it gives a really good note on the tone of the situation and how the dialogue is being said

Oh no. I’ve read the sad, sad tale of Puddles the duckling, like, three times now. We’re skipping it

Kate! Kate popping out of vents is the best thing, and I love how you set it up here. I can just see it in my brain

Nooooooooo

Bods I am gnawing on all of your pens until they are beyond repair. This part guts me every time

I love when we get a giant brick of Nathaniel dialogue because he’s explaining something. It’s very good

AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE IT ALL GOES SOUTH

I genuinely gasped and put a hand over my mouth when I first read this

I’ve been thinking about Nerissa and her outbursts a lot, and I have so many questions about how her powers work…

I think SQ’s mind would be a forest

I know Nerissa has not the best of intentions, but ever since she got introduced all I want is to give her a hug. I think she needs it

Now we get to see Nerissa’s plans from her point of view! I always love how you explain stuff via multiple different characters, it makes it really interesting and it somehow doesn’t ever come across as boring or talked about too much

Although it makes me wonder how many fake identities she has…

“The boy is eighteen Natty, I’m sure he doesn’t need or want you constantly helicopter parenting him like this”

As if she is not also doing the exact same (And arguably worse)

“his whole…team of genius minds and trained fighters”

Ah, yes. Nicholas, his adopted family and friends, and some children. Obviously an impossible number of enemies /s

Erika! She is somehow STILL not getting paid enough for this. Let her go do something else, like be a National Park ranger. I’m sure she’d love it

And the slip back into having the narrative refer to him as Curtain!! I get all excited every time you do that, no matter how many times it’s been now

“He had expected to see anger in his SQ’s eyes at having secrets kept from him”

I’m burning your house down

Curtain’s just running on frantic autopilot and it’s only making things worse. I know this is, like, the third POV for this scene and maybe the fifth time I’ve read it, but still. I am taking some scissors to your window drapes

“And to think, when I was a kid, I looked at you like you were my hero, I thought you were brilliant, I used to dream about being like you! And now, I’ve been putting up with everything you do, all the times you ignored me, filled your schedule with work, got stressed over some mundane detail, and acted like a complete control freak, all because I thought you were doing it because you actually cared about someone other than yourself.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bods. Bods you need to chill on occasion. Seriously, I don’t know how much more of this my heart can take, and I already know what’s going to happen!! 

I Am Foaming At The Mouth

AND ONCE AGAIN CURTAIN’S SELF-DEPRECATING, GUILTY, OVERLY RIDICULOUS MENTALITY GETS IN THE WAY. AGAIN.

If he could take a step back and, I don’t know, go to therapy????? Then maybe he’d be able to have this conversation with his son. BUT NOOOOOOOOOO. IT’S EVIL PLANS THIS AND MIND ERASURE THAT. SO HEALTHY THERE, LEDROPTHA. NICE JOB /s

“You’d think that after all those losses he’d be used it to by now”

I Am Screeching At A Tone To Shatter All Your Glass

AND GARRISON. GARRISON DOESN’T KNOW. HOW COULD SHE? BUT SHE STILL UNDERSTANDS THE ENORMITY OF SWEEPING SQ. AND SHE’S STILL HORRIFIED.

“Please Dad. Don’t do this. I love you. I’ll do whatever you ask, and I’ll…I’ll stay. I won’t leave. I’ll stay here with you, forever. I’ll be good. I promise.”

This is always one of the worst parts for me…

“She supposed death wouldn’t be so bad. Garrison knew she deserved it, and she wasn’t entirely sure how she would even be able to keep living with herself after all she’d done. / But she still feared the pain.”

Someone PLEASE help this woman

Curtain hugging her… But it doesn’t do either of them any good…

AND CURTAIN CAN’T BRAINSWEEP HIMSELF BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE THINGS HE’S DONE. HE HAS BLOCKED OFF EVERY OPTION FOR HIMSELF

Oh dear, I just keep rereading the last bits instead of commenting. Please know they are just as amazing as everything else, but I don’t have any words for any of it…

Poor Nathaniel has been locked into a truly impossible task, and Nerissa certainly isn’t helping. Although, I must say that her dialogue can be pretty funny

“I really think you’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Nicky has never struck me as a particularly difficult person to kidnap. One bad pun is enough to knock him out. Just tell a clever joke, wait for him to pass out, and shove him into a sack.”

“Nathaniel had tried to think of other solutions. Really, he did. But although he knew that Nicholas would willingly give himself up at the word that his nephew, or that anyone really, was in danger”

Man, you really are so good at balancing humour with drama

[daily-odile]

AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

[it-came-autumnally]

This line is extremely funny (motherly??? hello??) but also it just reminds me of why the Minori & Airi dynamic makes me want to explode (positive).

Even though she's only a year older, Airi sees so much of her past self in Minori -- she knows what it's like to be an outsider in their industry, to be someone who's faced rejection for simply not possessing the innate “idol aura” that people like Haruka and Shizuku have. She’s not like them; and neither is Minori. Having a dream is great, but you can't become an idol purely out of desire. This is expressed very directly in the digest animation (which condenses the MMJ main story): "Just because you want something to happen doesn't mean it will."

Screenshots from MORE MORE JUMP - Journey to Bloom: [HOPE].

Airi's resigned herself to the fact that she's stuck in her role as a variety show entertainer, even though being an idol was her real dream. And, after seeing her own fate, she bluntly tells Minori that the other's passion isn't enough for her to successfully break into the industry. Despite this, Minori isn’t discouraged from her path; after all, she'd already been rejected 50 times. In her own words: she has faith -- something Airi has almost lost.

But Airi hasn't lost it completely. After some reminders from Shizuku, she reluctantly agrees to watch Minori's practices and give her some advice. It's a small ask, but one means a lot to Minori -- which Airi knows, and she's willing to give Minori a chance.

Minori has the chance to return the favor when Airi goes to confront Cheerful*Days. Even when Haruka warns her about the ugliness she's about to see, she isn't swayed. In her own words: she "care[s] too much for Momoi". Not just as a fan, but a friend* now, too.

Screenshots from the MORE MORE JUMP! main story chapter 11. *friend is a bit of a loose term here but Minori does know Airi personally by this point. Not as well as Shizuku, but better than she used to.

The affirmation of being an idol that Minori gives is huge for Airi. After being constantly denied her identity as an idol from both her managers and peers, hearing this from the girl who she had accidentally dismissed is perhaps the most powerful thing she could have heard in that moment. It's clear that Minori hasn't been disillusioned in the slightest even after seeing all the resentment and anger, and despite everything, she still believes in Airi, and her ability to spread hope as an idol.

After all that happens in the main story, Minori's presence becomes a non-negotiable part of MMJ. She is, after all, the final bit of glue that brought them together as a group. In Time to Re:Start! (Airi 1), Haruka, Airi, and Shizuku all make it extremely clear that they refuse to let their group split up. We see how Airi takes this a step further:

Screenshots from Chapter 4 of Time to Re:START!

Notably, she's willing to go back to variety programs and talent work if it means that MORE MORE JUMP! can stay together (even though doing so means that she probably would be extremely busy and have less time to do "real" idol work!)

Since Airi's offer is rejected here, we don't see the consequences of this negotiation come to fruition, but it's certainly not an offer she makes lightly. Note that Airi 2 hasn't happened yet; she still hasn't fully made peace with how her role as Happy Everyday took time away from her as "Airi Momoi the idol". Despite how painful it would be her to reprise as that role after resolving to become an "regular" idol again, Airi still makes this request as a last resort, because she would put herself through something she doesn't want rather than sacrifice Minori's dream to be an idol. This isn't something that the rest of MMJ would agree to, of course, but this cements a trend in Airi's behavior -- namely, her desire to protect Minori from the thorns of the idol industry that she's had to go through. Her Colorful Fes card gives some insight into this, where she encounters the younger version of herself (Little Airi).

Screenshots from "To You Who Wants To Be An Idol" Side Story 2.

The way Airi treats her literal younger self mirrors the way she treats Minori at the start of the MMJ main story. Even though she knows better than anyone how much being called a "tomboy" hurt her younger self, Airi still calls her that on accident. This is extremely similar to how she dismisses Minori upon their first meeting -- she of all people should know how hurtful it is, but she does it nonetheless. This time, however, she doesn't need Shizuku to remind her of her mistake, and quickly rectifies it -- a testament to how she's changed since the events of the main story.

Still Airi's ColorFes card story 2. Sorry for the spam of screenshots from this one I love this card way too much

Airi imparts the lesson she learned from Minori to Little Airi: "tomorrow will always be a better day." She shares the hope that Minori (and the rest of MMJ) shares, something she directly says she's grateful for. Meeting Minori has changed her for the better, and also allowed for her finally continue on her path towards being a "real" idol -- one that never gives up.

By the time Airi 3 happens, MMJ have taken off as online streamers. People have started to accept Minori as an idol -- but she's still a newbie when compared to the rest of the group, and lacks the same training that her fellow idols have. Nobody is more keenly aware of this than Minori herself. While she's initially practicing on her own, Airi is quick to understand what Minori's issue is, as its one that she's dealt with herself. Yet again, it comes back to seeing her past behaviors in Minori's - she's gone through the experience of trying to emulate the "idol aura," so she knows doing so is a waste. She wants to save Minori the time and effort that it took for her to learn these lessons, so that Minori is able to hasten her path towards finding the "best way to shine".

Screenshots from Chapter 6 of "Chasing The Sparkle Beyond the Blue Sky"

The other really interesting thing is how Airi tells Minori her to not put herself down -- and yet Airi does the same to herself! She needs Shizuku to reaffirm her status as a true idol and tell her the same things that Airi herself tells Minori. She's been able to relearn how to inspire others, but still needs help when it comes to having that faith in herself.

This event is a testament to how much the two of them have matured since the main story, while also showing where they still have more room to grow. The two of them still have some doubts about whether they "deserve" to be idols, but it's something that they're both working through, together with each other as well as the rest of MMJ.

In regards to Airi trying to shield Minori from going through the troubles she did, it comes into the spotlight yet again during Airi 4:

Screenshots from Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 of "Friendship Rebuilt"

This time, we see this behavior explicitly stated: "I don't want her to experience what I did back then". Minori is her own person, and Airi respects her ability to make her own decisions, but she can't help but see her past self in the other, even after how far they've come. She's worried; Minori may be strong, but Airi wants to make sure that she can avoid having to go through the same pain she did.

This all comes full circle then, when Airi excitedly talks about her upcoming school trip to Kyoto.

Screenshots from the "I'm Excited Too" (Pandemonium/Spirited Affair 2*) side story 1.

After constantly being the one looked after, Minori finally gets another chance to be happy for Airi. For once, Airi doesn't have to sacrifice her own happiness for work, and for that, she's glad. It's the least she can do for the girl who's been protecting her all this time, and its a step towards Minori truly becoming an equal to the idols she's looked up to her whole life.

MMJ as a whole unit is about spreading hope and joy -- more specifically, about sharing hope and joy. The reason both Minori and Airi decide to become idols in the first place is because they were cheered up by idols in their childhood, and wanted to do the same for others. Minori is able to finally become an idol herself after she helps Airi (as well as Shizuku and Haruka) regain their own hope and passion; Airi does her best to guide Minori down a path that is as least painful as possible in return. MMJ's stories focus so much on the idea of paying it forward it truly drives me crazy to see how Minori and Airi's dynamic really embodies that ideal, where Minori will never stop uplifting her friends while Airi always looks out for them.

[makeste]

Loving the return of the BNHA reactions - any further updates since vol 36?

yes, actually! so there has been a change of plans! here's the deal:

so as you're probably aware, after all of my fuffering two weeks ago about whether or not to skip ahead to the newest chapters, I decided to roll with the majority of people who advised me to keep plugging away at the old chapters first.

HOWEVER, I'm sad to report I only made it up to chapter 370 before I was waylaid by unforeseen circumstances. said circumstances being that my almost four-year-long streak of being Covid-free finally came to an end last week. 😭 it was good while it lasted. but yeah, that kind of took me out for a solid chunk of days. thankfully I'm feeling better now!

then a couple of days ago, I received an ask from a kind individual who informed me that there were in fact a lot of things happening right now in the manga which are very pertinent to my interests, and which I probably would want to experience and enjoy here in the moment alongside my fellow fans!

so after some consideration I took their advice and skipped ahead to read chapters 404, 405, and 406. and having now done so, I can say with certainty that it was the right call for me and I do not regret it whatsoever! because holy shit, these chapters are life.

so, long story short, I technically still have 33 chapters to go (which I will be resuming this weekend). but also, there's going to be a full-blown chapter 406 recap going up in like an hour or so from now lol. that's just how the dice fell. blame it on the coronavirus sapping away all of my remaining willpower. and Horikoshi for writing three back-to-back wish fulfillment chapters seemingly especially for me. what a generous man.

[vectorisheree]

Hello I am looking for asks / requests pspspspspspspsspspspsppspsps

[goleb]

Dose Roy or Maxwell have any siblings?

Indeed they both do!

Roy has his twin sister, Rose. I elaborated on their relationship a little in this post before: they're best friends :Dc

Coincidentally, Maxwell also has a twin, Patrick. He inherited the confidence when they were splitting personality traits, and is the aspiring musician to Maxwell's aspiring writer. He is never seen without his hat on - one time Max got a hold of it to wash it, which normally wouldn't be a problem but the thing was a good decade old at that point and it got a little tattered. Neither of them were happy that day. Max even contemplated asking Roy to hide him from the shame at one point.

There's also Trevor, who's a couple years younger than the twins, and still in his edgy phase. He doesn't leave his room often (at least until he gets his first car). We love him nonetheless.

[dibidibifiction]

Reasons to Live

Pairing: Kim Jonghyun x Reader

Category: romance

TRIGGER WARNING: depression, self-harm, death, foul language

Word count: 3.5k+

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal entertainment of readers. The writer does not ever intend to offend her readers nor does she aim to spread false information about anyone as to pay any disrespect to the real-life persons whom the characters are based on. She also does not claim ownership to any of the images that are being used.  

masterlist

...

TWO YEARS EARLIER

JONGHYUN

I hear the curtain metal rings slide harshly two opposite ways, shocking me awake. 

“Oh, good. You were sleeping with your mouth open.”

“Great. Thanks, Mom,” I say sarcastically, rubbing my eyes.

“It’s already ten past five. I’m going home. Are you going to be okay?” my mom asks. She has taken care of me since day one I’ve been in this hospital. But now, since I’ve improved a lot, I insisted that she doesn’t have to visit every day. 

“Yes, ma’am,” I roll my eyes jokingly.

“Aww, Jonghyun, you should find a woman who will take care of you from now on instead of bothering me,” she joins my kidding around.

After she pinches my cheeks and kisses me, she heads out the door. I sit up to reach for my phone on the side table. I got messages from the boys on our group chat.

14:36

Kim Kibum: Hey, Kim Jonghyun! When are you getting discharged? You’re delaying our project. Get your shit together, yeah? Love you

15:18

Jinki: They ran some tests on you a few days ago, right? How did they go?

15:24

Minho: Hope everything’s okay, Hyung. We’re just here waiting for you~

16:20

Taemin: Hyung, did you receive my fruit basket? Hope you like it.

Reading their messages instantly puts a smile on my face. I start typing to reply that everything’s good and that I’m getting out of here soon. Maybe next week at the very least. 

I’ve been in this hospital for almost a month because of the car accident on my drive to my parents’ house after work. It was already dark and I was on the expressway when it started to rain so heavily that visibility was close to zero. Unexpectedly, a huge truck was running too fast in my direction. I managed to avoid it but then made me hit an electric post. Even though I was in a coma for three days, still, lucky for me, I had very little damage compared to others who have gotten into accidents like this.

I’ve never felt more alive. It may be hard to believe or even admit, but it might be a miracle, what happened to me. I was in such unbearable pain that I could already imagine my loved ones crying at my funeral.

I grab my little notebook and head up to the rooftop. I sit in my usual spot, which is at the very corner of the floor, overlooking the city. The city lights are like stars, the cars like elves, and the people like ants. It’s like a whole new weird world. I pull up my pen inserted at the last page I wrote on. Every time I have an idea for a song or a poem, I always write it here. 

As I’m turning the pages to look back on what I’ve written, I catch a glimpse of someone’s legs way across this wide rooftop. It looks like a person lying on the floor. 

“Hello?” I call out. 

No response. 

“Excuse me, are you okay?” My voice is a little louder, hoping to be heard.

Still nothing. Not even a subtle movement.

I drop everything and walk briskly over to check on them. 

I gasp at a young girl in a hospital gown like mine, which means she must be a patient too. I draw closer to see that she’s unconscious. And pale.

My heart twists, I hurriedly kneel down to her side and lightly put my head on her chest to check her heartbeat. 

Shit, I hear nothing. A quick shiver sends through me. 

Her pulse. I quickly grab her hand to feel her wrist and hope to feel something. 

Thank God. I exhale after what feels like twenty minutes. “Stay here. I’ll go get help.” 

I run down four flights of stairs and realize how ridiculous that sounded since she couldn’t even hear me. I finally reach the nearest nurse’s station, catching my breath in order to get words out. 

“Excuse me! There’s a girl up on the roof. She’s unconscious. Please help!” 

A nurse nods once and quickly picks up the telephone. She recites something I didn’t quite understand. Two guys with a stretcher appear immediately and ask me to let lead the way.

. . .

It’s now hours later and I can’t stop thinking about her. My last sight of her keeps flashing before my eyes. She was pale and almost lifeless. She looks pretty with her dark neck-length hair, her thin bangs fly off her forehead because of the wind. I wonder what’s wrong with her. I hope she’s okay now. Turns out she is the one who stays in the room next to mine.

My door slowly opens for a nurse to take the tray of my already finished dinner. “Hey, um, do you know what happened to the girl next door?”

“Do you know her?” he asks me right back, his eyes dead.

“Actually, yeah, I went to college with her.” I lie.

“Oh, okay, then,” he sighs. “Well, she attempted to kill herself again.”

My jaws drop in shock. “What?” I stutter. My heart sinks even more at the word ‘again.’

“It’s the third time she’s done that during her stay here. I really hope she'll stop. I’m worried about her. She doesn’t even have a family for us to call for a situation like this. There’s only this one guy that comes over every now and then.” His eyes suddenly change and fill up with pity when he walks out the door.

---

PRESENT DAY

Y/N

I run to the bus stop to see Jonghyun already waiting for me by his car in hazard mode at the side of the road. Two weeks passed and this is the most I’ve seen him since he’s been busy with his comeback. 

He spots me, then waves so happily that he’s almost jumping.

I land in his arms. “Jonghyun, I missed you,” I weep on his chest. 

He pulls away to look at my face, cupping my cheeks. “How’s my girl?” his eyes twinkle. He lovingly leans in for a five-second kiss.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” I pout.

“No, I just got here,” he smiles. “Shall we?”

We both hop in his car and drive to Taemin’s house to have dinner with the boys. It was supposed to be a celebration for their comeback promotion weeks ago but it always fell through. Now that their promotion ended, they decided to have the gathering tonight. It was Minho and Kibum’s idea. Taemin offered his place to hold it. 

They love a good party. Kibum wanted to invite as many people as they could but Minho wanted an intimate gathering with just close friends. The decision was made democratically but it was tied up. So all that long heated, turbulent discussion led us to the lowkey one with just close friends.

Jonghyun and I arrive with three handsome boys already in sight. Minho greets me with a warm hug and then leads me toward the kitchen where Jinki and Kibum are preparing food.

“Mmm, smells good over here. Where’s Taemin?” I ask no one in particular while I make my way to sit on a spinning stool by the island.

“He’s not here yet,” Kibum answers me while he holds a wooden spoon in front of me to let me taste his soondubu stew. 

“What? He’s late even at his own party being held at his house. Great.” I say as I nod approvingly to Kibum, telling him that it’s delicious.

Jinki giggles. “That’s our youngest.”

I laugh, wiping off droplets of soup on my chin.

“Speak of the devil,” Kibum mutters as soon as I hear the front door beep. 

I welcome Taemin with a giggle and my arms open for a hug. “Hey, what are you doing late at your own party?” I say, pulling away from his one-hand embrace.

“I came as fast as I could. You’re at my house. Stop complaining!” he laughs too.

. . .

It is now four hours later. Jonghyun and I are back in his car on our way to his apartment. I insisted he takes me home but he insisted harder for me to stay at his place since it’s closer.

“Plus, I missed you and I want to be with you a little longer,” he says, kissing my hand while his eyes are on the road. 

“Really? Well...” I say, having something in mind. I start drawing closer to him and slide my palm on his lap up to his crotch. I lean in closer, humming into his ear.

He swallows. “Hey, I’m driving.”

I laugh at him. “Fine, I’ll wait until we get home.”

“Home?” He looks at me for a second, smiling. Then back on the road.

I pause, thinking of what I said. “What?” 

“Did you just propose for us to live together?”

“Where’d that come from? You’re making stuff up again.” I playfully punch his arm.

He laughs out loud. It is so beautiful that it is the most musical sound I’ve ever heard.

After a few seconds of silence, he grabs my hand. I turn to him, waiting for him to say something. “So, do you want to move in?”

My mouth opens in quite a confusion but immediately curves into a huge smile. “Yeah, of course! I’d love that,” I screech. I lean into him for a kiss on his cheek, then rest my head on his shoulder while he pulls over into parking.

He turns to me, cupping my cheek. “I love you so much, Y/n.” 

It makes me melt every time he says those words to me. My eyes fill in with tears. “I love you, too.”

---

TWO YEARS EARLIER

An overflowing burning sensation boils in my stomach, making me abruptly sit up and throw up on myself. I feel like my internal organs are about to come out of my mouth. I feel so heavy that I can't open my eyes. When I do, it’s brief and cloudy.

I suddenly hear the door open. Somebody walks into my room. A nurse perhaps. After I feel them carefully laid me back down, I catch a blurry figure of a man standing in my direction by the door outside my room. Before I can control my own consciousness, everything goes black again.

. . .

I slowly open my eyes with the sun blaring at me. It irritates the shit out of me. I get out of bed in an attempt to close my blinds but somebody stops me.

“Whoa, wait, be careful.” A guy in a hospital gown like mine suddenly appears before me. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I glare at him.

He looks startled by my sudden rage. Despite this, he adjusts the wire connecting the needle inserted in my arm and the IV that’s hung next to my bed before I could mess it up. 

“Let me get that for you,” he mutters before closing the blinds for me, leaving a bit of sunlight.

My face relaxes from frowning as I watch him walk back toward me. He sits on the chair next to my bed. I notice his attractive appearance. Dark hair that covers his entire forehead, a cute smile and a muscular body. I somehow get lost in his stare with those innocent and sparkly eyes, making the anger inside me fade. I feel some kind of warm relief. 

“Uh, I’m Jonghyun. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I have not heard about you since I found you on the roof a few days ago.”

I snap out, bringing back my scowl. “Why?”

He stutters. “Well-”

“We don’t even know each other.”

“No, but-”

“Do you like me? Is that why you saved me?” I’m getting more pissed with this stranger in my room. “Or are you just trying to be some kind of a hero that saves my life, then our story would turn into a cheesy romantic cliché?

Silence. He just stares at me. Probably awkward and shocked.

“Get out of here before I call security.”

Without saying anything else, he gets up from his seat and walks to the door. Looking flustered, he glances back at me before sliding it close behind him. 

. . .

The moon has come out. It’s the only time of day that I appreciate the outside. I stand before the window, looking out, watching the cars and cabs go about down there. Thinking that there are millions of people existing, I question why the fuck I’m alone. 

Literally. 

Emotionally. 

I fall on my butt, and for the first time in almost a year, I cry out loud. Extremely loud. Numbingly loud. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I pull my hair out, punch my head, slap my own face. Dig my nails into my neck, scratch down to my chest, and then my arms. I kick my legs hysterically. Repeatedly.

I hate being alive. 

Eventually, my hearing went faint, abandoning its purpose. I feel someone grab me from behind, restraining me tightly. 

“Let me go! Just please let me go. Please! I don’t want to be alive anymore.” I continue to scream furiously, trying to escape everything that tries to come at me.

But then, I see that it’s Minho who’s hugging me. I crash into his arms, shut the fuck up, and cry silently. 

“Y/n, I’m here. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you. Please, stop now,” he hushes me. I can finally hear his voice. He's the only one I can trust. His embrace is the only comforting thing to me.

I’m breathing heavily, trying to calm down. I watch a nurse approach with a syringe but Minho immediately shoves it away. 

We just stayed like this. I have not idea how long but I don’t want it to end.

After some time, the noises in my head settle down. I can see clearly again. 

---

PRESENT DAY

JONGHYUN

After my radio show, I come home to a beautiful lady waiting for me on the couch in the dressing gown I got her for Christmas last year, and a pair of thick-framed reading glasses with a book in hand. 

I join her, laying my head between her breasts. “Hi, roomie.” I look up at her, then give her a wink. We talked about moving in together weeks ago and the day I’d been waiting for has finally come. She’s finally settled in with me. There couldn’t be any other day happier than this.

She hisses. “Shut up,” then goes back to reading her book, blocking my view of her pretty little face. 

I hiss back. I then crawl out off the couch to pick her up bridal style, spinning her around.

Y/n shrieks, laughing. “Jonghyun, stop!” 

So I do. “Oh, hey, we haven’t done that thing couples do once they move in.”

“I thought you were going to be too tired from work,” she says, her arms around my neck.

Her thinking about sex is heaven to me! But that’s not what I’m talking about. “No, stupid,” I chuckle at her while I put her down on her feet. “Come here.” I grab her hand for her to follow me out the front door. 

“Wait, what? Where are we going? I’m not dressed,” she complains.

I close the door once we get out. Y/n is still confused about what we’re doing. I pick her up again, bridal style. “Now, enter the code.”

She doesn’t say anything else and does as I say.

Once she opens the door, “Welcome home!” I cheer.

She laughs out loud. “Oh, so now we’re officially living together. Amazing!” she says playfully.

But I don’t put her down just yet and head to the bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re doing that other thing that couples do when they move in together.” 

“Yay!” she cheers, then kisses me deeply on the spot as I bring the action to our bedroom. 

---

TWO YEARS EARLIER

There’s a knock on the door while I watch a movie on the flatscreen. I hit pause on the remote control.

“Hyung!” Minho calls out enthusiastically as he enters my room with bags of food in his hand.

“Hey! What are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t a guy visit his guy friend who is unlucky enough to get into an accident?” he jokes around, handing me my lunch.

“Thank you very much,” I bow to him. 

Minho and I do some catching up, talking about his new drama series, and some other work stuff until our conversation finds itself about the girl staying next door.

“Then she just kicked me out of her room and threatened to call security on me. This is what she did to a person who saved her life?” I pout.

“Oh, my God. You’re the stalker she’s been talking about?”

“Stalker? Woah, that woman. After what I did for her?” My blood is boiling with intense irritation. But it subsides quickly once I realize something. “Wait, you know her?”

“Yeah, I actually spent the night in her room.”

I pause, staring at Minho in confusion. “You’re not… Nothing’s going on with you two, is there?

“Oh, no. Nothing like that. I’ve known her since childhood. Our parents used to be close. That was when her mother was still alive and her dad hadn’t moved to Japan.”

“Wow, she has it tough, huh?” Just like that, irritation turns compassion. 

“Yeah, but there’s more to that. Something that no one can explain, not even her herself.”

She’s been suicidal. Her depression has taken a lot from her. Hearing this makes me want to look after her more.

---

PRESENT DAY

Y/N

Since then, Jonghyun had been visiting me every evening to have dinner together even when I kept pushing him away, asking him to stop trying to save me.

Days after he got discharged, he came back, but I wasn’t in my room anymore. When he found out that I was transferred to the psychiatric ward, he came running to my door.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were being transferred?”

“Why would I?” I frowned.

“Right,” he laughed awkwardly. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket. 

“Hey, what are you-” 

He trailed off, his face turning red as he listened. It’s definitely Minho.

I suddenly snatched the phone from Jonghyun’s hand and walk near the door out of earshot. “Hey, where the hell are you?” I scolded Minho in a whisper. “You are not letting him-”

“It’s okay, Y/n. He means well. Maybe it’s time for you to let somebody else in for a change,” he laughed statically. “Love you.” 

I sighed in irritation as I heard the dial tone. “Here.” I hand Jonghyun’s phone back to him while he just smiled at me goofily.

If it wasn’t for Minho, I never would’ve trusted anyone again. And because of Jonghyun, trusting and loving again was worth it. 

By the time I got discharged from the ward, Jonghyun and I eventually started dating officially. He was always there for me. Offered to come with me to my therapist twice a week but I insisted that I could go by myself. I would meet the rest of the boys not long after we got together. Since then, I’ve got the best friends ever.

Sooner or later, I would get back to work in teaching kindergarten. I can’t imagine my career going any other way. I thank myself for being alive today. Some days, I’d join Jonghyun and the boys in organizing a charity mission. I’d teach kids in far provinces. I forgot how fulfilling working with children was when I was too busy being miserable.

I’ve never felt so alive. Not to mention grateful. 

“I’m so proud of you, honey,” my dad tells me with a big smile on his face.

“Thanks, Dad,” I smile back at my computer screen. “By the way, when are you coming? You should tell me ahead of time so I can prepare you something.”

Before I can hear his response, the front door of my apartment beeped. “Oh, I have to go. Jonghyun’s here.”

“I should really meet this Jonghyun. You’re talking about him a lot,” he says.

I shake my head and laugh at him before hanging up.

“Was that your dad?” Jonghyun asks as soon as he approaches and kisses me on the lips.

“Yeah.”

“Is he coming to visit?”

“He didn’t say,” I tell him, shutting down my laptop.

I stare at Jonghyun while he removes his shoes and walks towards me.

“What?” he asks, then kisses me on the forehead.

Trying not to tear up, I just shake my head and giggle at him. If it wasn’t for Jonghyun, my life would be so much different right now. Hell, I’d be dead. Because of him, I regained my bond with my dad. 

Months ago, they had to go to Japan for work and he made me come with them so my father and I could finally talk. We had never seen eye to eye ever since Mom died. We had drifted apart. Now, we are closer than ever.

I’m not saying my depression is gone and my attacks are non-existent anymore. They still come every now and then, although not as bad as before. Jonghyun has always been so caring and understanding. I could cry just thinking about it. I got to be with the best person and have the best friends in the world. 

[amiharana]

hi oomfies it's me again :> i keep apologizing every few weeks for being inactive but i will keep doing it because i feel bad ☝️🥹 my personal and academic lives have been in an upheaval for the last few weeks, and will probably continue to be so for the foreseeable future, so i'll be even less active these days 😔 but i just wanted to check in here so you guys know i'm not dead i'm just severely a stem major 🙏 miss and love you all!

[bombusbombus]

Like, this IS a perfectly acceptable outfit. It is period appropriate. It works.

He could be,, more fruity., Why’d they make him masculine and understated. HOW did they miss the chance to make him a ridiculous dandy.

He could look like THIS:

or THIS:

OR he could pull something EXTREME like THIS:

[softquietsteadylove]

Well I saw the post from @eternalowl and I challenge you to do a Modern Thenamesh AU with Gil being the mall Santa!

I specifically ask you because I really love all of your works and your tags :D thank you for everything ❤️

"Okay, kids, Santa has to take a short break," Sersi offered a gentle smile as she closed the gates to the area. There were a few whines and a few glares from parents, but she waved. "I know you all understand how hard he's working. He'll be back in half an hour!"

Gil let out a gasping breath as soon as he was inside the little shed that was decorated for him to change inside. Really, all he had to do was pull off the hot-ass Santa pants and coat from over his t-shirt and jeans. And tear off the uncomfortable beard.

"Just one more shift for the day," Sersi promised as she also pulled off her elf ears once away from prying eyes.

"I can't wait until this stall closes," Gil sighed deeply as he aired out his shirt.

"You volunteered," Sersi laughed, although, so had she, and she also couldn't wait until they were off-duty. "And look at all the kids you're making happy with this."

"Yeah, you're right," he sighed as he pulled on his light bomber jacket. "Coast clear?"

Sersi peeked out to make sure no families were loitering around, or at least checking to make sure that those who were wouldn't be pointing out that Santa went into his 'workshop' and some dude was coming out. "We're clear."

Gil stretched as soon as they were out of the cramped little tool shed. "I'm starving."

"I'm sure Thena's already on her way," Sersi laughed to herself, although Gil looked as excited as the kids who had waited in line for them all morning.

"It sure was sweet of her to suggest making cookies while we're working," Gil mused as he took a seat behind the photoshoot area on a normal mall bench.

Yes, it was very sweet, and they hadn't had much choice in the matter. Since Gil had volunteered to cover the weekend mall-Santa shifts, Thena had been there for every break they'd had.

As Makkari recounted, Thena had ordered the making of cookies for their hard working friends, but Thena was the only one with the time to actually bring them every few hours.

"Just 'cause it's you," Sersi murmured as she scrolled through her phone. "If it were anyone else, she wouldn't have cared."

"That's not true," Gil easily waved off in Thena's defense.

It was true, though. She had wished Sersi luck, of course, dealing with all those kids even though her winter break as a teacher was also in effect. But hearing that Gil had volunteered as well?--that had made the blonde spring into action.

Thena hated the mall--too many people, too little space between her and them. And yet...

"Gil!"

"Thena!" he practically jumped to his feet as he saw her, grinning as her blonde ponytail swung side to side with her long legged steps.

"Another round done?" she smiled as she deposited yet another bag into his hands.

"Yep," he mumbled as he tore into her care package. There were cookies, a few more substantial snacks, and a bottle of sports drink to keep his energy up. "One more round to go before we're free."

"I don't know how you're doing it," she shook her head at him, watching as he took a long gulp of his drink. "Are you sure a half hour break for every four is enough?"

"It was one for every three, leading up to today," Sersi smiled in sympathy as Gil started wolfing down his food. She nodded her gratitude as Thena presented her with a bundle of cookies as well. Although, Sersi couldn't help but notice that hers both had fewer in it, and didn't have a ribbon around it. "But today's the last day for it. Then he's off a few hours before the mall closes."

"Don't you get enough of them at your real job?" Thena snarked lightly at Sersi as Gil went to dispose of his litter.

Sersi grinned at Thena, "don't you have better things to do than schedule your whole day around when Gil goes on break?"

Thena crossed her arms at her, "I live one block away--it's not like it's any trouble."

Sersi wasn't intimidated by the Goddess of War, though, bumping their shoulders together affectionately. "He's all yours after tonight."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Thena glared at her, although it melted away when she turned her attention back to Gil upon his return. "Tell me no one else has peed on your leg, at least."

"No, no one after that poor little guy on the first day," Gil sighed, of course being a good sport about something that would have most people quitting on the spot. "And today a few people got pictures of their pets with me, so that was cute."

"Although that cat in a knapsack was utterly terrified of him," Sersi mused as she unwrapped her cookies and took a bite.

Everyone had made different ones. Makkari had chosen gingerbread, Druig making something with dried berries in them. Thena and Ikaris, the much less baking-inclined of them, had both made cookies from instant mix. Sersi had helped Ikaris make his own chocolate chip cookies herself (although she had protested that they weren't in the spirit of the season, which he had ignored).

Thena made the sugar cookies that Gil currently had a full bag of.

"Hey, what're you up to?" Gil asked Thena more softly, taking a bite of the sugary star and then holding up a bite for her. "We've got 20 minutes--grab a coffee with us?"

Sersi watched Thena bite off a point of the star still in Gil's hand and shot to her feet. "Oh, uhm, Ikaris is calling me! You two go and--Gil, I'll meet you back here!"

Gil shrugged, watching Sersi all but sprint off into a crowd of shoppers. He turned back to Thena, who had left him the last star point generously. "Okay, just you and me, then--you in?"

Thena nodded, smiling at him as she chewed her cookie bite.

"These turned out really good," he smiled as he pulled out another one, walking towards the unique hellscape that was the mall starbucks. "You took my advice about making the butter room temperature, didn't you?"

"And what you said about the second round not taking as long because the pan is already hot," she smiled, leaning in as he held out another star for her.

"Thanks," he smiled at her more softly than before, despite the chaos around them. "These really kept me sane between the screaming and the crying and complaining parents."

Thena brushed a few crumbs off his coat, "you love doing this kind of stuff--especially if it's for kids."

"Yeah, that's true," he conceded easily. A few teenagers ran past them, bumping him closer to her. Neither said anything. "But I'd still rather be hanging out with you on my time off."

"Well," Thena pulled out the last cookie she'd packed for him this round, holding it up for him this time. "Three more hours, and then you're free."

"Three more hours," he sighed, leaning in to steal a bite of the cookies she had made just for him. He held her eyes as she brushed a crumb off the corner of his lips, "I can do that."

"Um," the nervous young barista coughed, watching the couple canoodling in the middle of the line, "do you wanna order? Or..."

[miserye]

never would i have thought in a million years that i would get close enough to my boss that he would ask me to house sit for him