#I returned to this game after 4 years away and there's so many new bases and markings dkfjng its so great everything is so pretty

[tinyspringtrap]

I've gotten some pretty funny matchups during this event so far, the mental images they elicit bring me a lot more joy than they probably should

[alchemistc]

okay….. can I ask about Buck in the hockey au?

Buck was a middling college player who got drafted in the third round after his team missed the Frozen Four, and he kind of labored in obscurity for a few years in the AHL before his current team picked him up trying to unload cap space to buy out a problem players contract.

Buck plays four regular season games with his new team before he gets sent back down. The company line is that he's just Not Ready but in actuality he's been hooking up with girls in visitor facilities and once in the team bus. His coach (the coach is Bobby I'm just still working out the details) tells him he sees a lot of potential in Buck, and he could make it if he could just find a way to get his head on straight.

Buck gets his head on straight. He kills it with the affiliate team, runs a point streak through twenty-three games as a defenseman, quarterbacks the power play to the point that fans of the NHL team are up in arms that he hasn't been called up.

They're playing with numbers, trying to give Buck as much ice time as possible while they lose the weight of one of their underperforming D-Men - the usual contract juggling. Then they call him up. He has a few good games, scores a few goals, has a wicked wrister from the blue line. He also scores an own goal against Chim his fourth game up and keeps taking stupid penalties. It's 2-4 penalty minutes a game for too many men or delay of game because he keeps getting too overexcited and slinging the puck over the glass instead of along the boards.

Abby works for TNT, and Buck catches her eye while she's between the pipes for a national broadcast game. She's got enough pull to get his number and they start up a phone based relationship.

Buck's team makes playoffs his first year, and gets slaughtered in the first round. Abby's mom dies and she takes a break from sports casting and Buck, not that she really lets him know that.

During the off-season Buck's team trades for a defenseman who's been in the KHL for a few years. His name is Eddie Diaz.

Buck hates him for about half a day. He feels like he's being replaced. He's worked so fucking hard to make it and now there's this guy who just gets a spot right away?

(They're best buds by the end of the week, and by the time the regular season starts they're playing 25 minutes a night as the top D-Pair)

Buck's career comes to a screeching halt in the second round of the playoffs that year when he gets tripped on a breakaway and slides awkwardly into the boards.

(No one makes the connection at the time, but the player who trips him is the same one one of their old wingers, Deluca, saved from the bottom of a dogpile years ago when a skate got way too close to his neck)

The injury isn't an easy one. There's no quick recovery time. Buck is just sort of stuck in limbo for a while. And then when he's cleared to return they find out there were complications. Coach Bobby benches Buck.

And Buck has been nothing but hockey for most of his life. It was the only way to get his parents to pay attention to him. The only outlet for all his anger. And he's good at it. He's the best. He could be the best, anyway.

Buck takes to twitter during his 'recovery' time. At first he's just posting stupid shit, but then people start paying attention to him. The PR dept does Not Like the way Buck calls out bullshit and trolls on Twitter. The GM gets involved, things blow up. Buck is reluctantly allowed back at practices and quickly jumps into game readiness.

And it's clear he's come back better.

The team toils for years in first and second round exits, and some of their stars are coming close to contract years, and they just can't break out. Buck places third for the Norris a few times, and he and Eddie are often talked about as one of the best Defensive pairings in the league, but their team is fast and light and they get beat to shit every time playoffs roll around. Eddie's feisty, he'll talk shit until the opposing bench is FUMING, he'll get scrappy along the boards, he'll duke it out when necessary, but he usually has to keep a lid on that because he can't let Buck down by getting injured.

At the end of year six for Buck, after a heartbreaking out, Buck's end of year presser goes viral when he talks about how he's been in the league for six years and hasn't won shit.

The fanbase panics because he's in his second to last contract year. If they can't contend, they're convinced he's gonna want out before the All-Star break. (None of them are aware that Buck would rather re-break his leg than leave this team he considers family, and his agent would like to keep it that way)

The team has a banner fucking year. They've got record game winning streaks and record point streaks and their aging goalie has never played better. He has four shutouts in the first half of the season. And Buck was never planning to leave so no one really broaches the contract thing. They'll figure it out in the off-season. Buck's got games to win.

With the trade deadline looming and Buck's team looking like a shoe-in for top of their conference, the front office makes a... strange move early in. They trade for Tommy Kinard. He's a bruiser, real old school type, skates like he's got bricks attached to his ankles but will knock a motherfucker down for looking sideways at his guys. He hasn't announced he's retiring at the end of the season, but he's planning to hang it up either way.

The team is hesitant about that, at first, once they know. He and Chim played together for a few years, and Chim welcomes him to the team by filling his car with golf balls. Pointed, maybe, but Tommy laughs it off, and retaliates, and the team starts to grow fond of him. BUCK starts to grow fond of him. Buck has a Cup run to worry about but Tommy is there, playing five minutes a night and knocking dudes on their ass that would normally be going for Buck and Eddie so consistently that Buck and Eddie feel a little invincible. People are second guessing whether or not they want to risk incurring the wrath of Kinard for a meaningless late March game.

And that is where I leave this because I'm actually seriously considering writing this fic now and that's about where I'd start it.

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR FANDOM ANALYSIS

…because apparently I miss academics?

PART 1 - CONTEXT & FACTORS TO CONSIDER

This was originally supposed to be an addition to @praetorqueenreyna’s post, but it started to get long and I didn’t wanna clutter your post. If you haven’t seen her essay on ACOTAR fandom culture, please do check it out because she made amazing and very valid points that I’m just gonna ramble on top of.

OKAY, APPARENTLY, THIS IS GONNA HAVE MULTIPLE PARTS. AFTER I WROTE THIS I REALIZE THERE’S SO MUCH.

I do want to disclaim that this isn’t targeted to any one part of the fandom, merely observations from someone who is relatively new to the ACOTAR fandom (around April-ish). I’m also way too lazy to get sources and stuff. I’m also missing a lot of fandom history.

ABOUT FANDOM CULTURE

At its core, fandom culture is niche. It’s strange, it’s not cool in a popular way, it’s geeky, it’s awkward, it’s community-oriented and a place detached from the mainstream. Hobbies, interests and discussions that you couldn’t really have these conversations with anyone in your day to day because they needed to engage with the piece of media and even then, they needed to care about it enough to create, deconstruct, reconstruct, and contribute to the fandom.

Fandom comes with a sense of belonging. It’s about liking the media, yes, but it’s about liking the media enough that you want to immerse yourself in it. You want more than just the book, the show, the song, etc.

With fandom, especially on Tumblr, there are subcultures within fandom, based on a character, a ship, a spinoff, etc. Fans can find (or create) a community to connect with on specific parts of a media, and that’s a beautiful thing. While fandom is not perfect, and it has its dark, embarrassing, painful moments, over the years it’s developed its own unspoken rules. Most of the ‘subcultures’ stay among them, and even with drama, the overlap isn’t as constant as ACOTAR. Usually, it comes in waves, and evens out eventually.

Most importantly, fandom is a place where you can just be yourself. You can shake off the weight of the outside world, and just do your thing! There are so many politics at play and rules in your day-to-day life, why not get a little weird? Fandom is a place where you find your other weirdos, and the judgmental people are usually a minority.  It can also be really small and you know everyone in the fandom—shoutout to my other 4 Orm Marius homies!!

POST-PANDEMIC CONTEXT AND THIRD PLACES

When the pandemic hit, in places that were locked down, habits needed to change and there was nowhere to go. You couldn’t really escape, so online was the best place. You had people returning to old hobbies, such as crafts, gaming, reading, etc. You also had people searching for new things to partake in. Either boredom, coping with the new way of the world or just finding people to talk to, those are valid reasons.

I’d like to introduce the notion of third places. Third place is considered to be a place that is not home, work or school. It is a place where you can get out of your routine and decompress. Libraries, coffee shops, going to the bar, or anywhere else where you can just step away from the grind and the routine. These are social spots that help alleviate the weight of your daily pressures. For some, their third place was strictly an in-person event.

With the arrival of the pandemic, these third places became inaccessible and even after lockdown was lifted, some of these places were irrevocably changed—either they closed permanently or the hours changed in such a way that they were not accessible. For example, I used to spend a lot of time in my favourite bookstore because it would open at 8AM and close at 10PM. After the pandemic, it opens at 10AM and closes at 5PM. For someone who works, I can no longer use this as my ‘third place’.

For many fandom members, their third place was online. They already know the rules of etiquette from observing, and joining out of their own curiosity. Time spent in fandom teaches you the unspoken tenets of interaction. ‘Don’t like, don’t read,’ is one example. Additionally, being part of a small fandom, but loving something so much that you want to connect with someone, anyone, teaches you to be a lot more respectful of the space you’re entering. You may not like everyone all the time, but ultimately, your enjoyment of your fandom should precede everything else.

Joining a fandom on your own, or with a small group, is completely different from joining en masse. Now, you have many people seeking a place to ‘connect’ coming in with their preconceived notions learned from other places. Maybe a different subculture that isn’t fandom. Maybe an assumption of how fandom should be. 

BOOKTOK VS. FANDOM - CLIQUES VS. COMMUNITIES

I’ve heard the argument that the ‘popular kids’ joining fandom is ruining fandom. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, trying to look at the demographics of BookTok and the patterns of behaviour that are associated with BookTok vs. fandom. I’m on BookTok, but I look for smaller communities, but I see all the drama, all the time.

Here are a few of my assessments:

All social media platforms allow you to cater your page and feed to what YOU want, but not all social media is community based. It is geared for content to consume, and feeds the algorithm to keep you on the platform, so that companies can pay the platform for advertising.

Most other social media encourage you to use parts if not your entire identity (photos, video, name, etc.) and I believe that creates a direct correlation to a person’s sense of validation when receiving likes, comments, engagement. Tumblr, on the other hand, rarely focuses on the identity of the person behind the screen, but rather you build your identity through what you share, the posts you make or reblog. It has shifted to be more similar to other social media (for moniessssss) but it wasn’t like this years ago. Over a decade ago, Tumblr used to be the only place where I could get fandom stuff and Deviantart.

Other social media platforms emphasize that you are the product. With the success of influencers, many people try to replicate the same success by using themselves, their talent and most importantly, their opinions on social media. BookTok is essentially an online book club, which means that it’s mostly sharing thoughts, and less about creation.

Content on social media, put out by influencers is created not with the intention for interaction, but rather, reach. People aren't used to the pushback and continuous discourse that happens on Tumblr where many people can chime in at once.

The desire to belong compounded with the impact of influencers on social media naturally sets people into two categories: creators and consumers. Content creators who have achieved success are placed on the same pedestal our modern society places celebrities on. Due to their following, some people might believe their opinions are more valid because there is a large number of people following them. Some people might be influenced by the ‘majority’ they see following an influencer, which is part of the course. That’s why they’re called influencers.

As a former marketing specialist, I’d like to assert that there are so many more factors in play than a valid take. Aesthetics are a big part of it, and charisma. Both of which fall under the same attributes as the ‘popular’ kids in school. As someone with a lot of charisma in person, I know for a fact that if you package something prettily enough, you can get away with anything.

The problem is: fandom doesn’t work like that.

Fandom is a place where unpopular opinions and niche things thrive. It’s the place where no one cares if you’re cool, and the pretty things come in forms of art (crafts, visual art, writing, etc.). It’s also a place for discourse for those who enjoy that, digging deeper into themes and what not.

The problem is: you have a subculture that is largely an echo chamber and largely one-sided 'community' entering a space with an established dynamic with a lot of back and forth. Sometimes, the rule in fandom is that the rules don’t apply. 

I believe that this isn’t the root of the toxicity, but elements to consider when speaking of the ACOTAR fandom which, like Reyna said, feels like an amplification of the worst elements of fandom.

It's super late here, so I'll come back to actually start saying something LMAO CAUSE THIS FEELS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.

[littlejuicebox]

Midwinter Carol 8 / The Scheme

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x Female Elf Sorceress OC

Word Count: 2.4K

Story navigation: [1][2][3][4] [5] [6] [7]

Summary/Setting: Based on the prologue/premise from my OneShot “A Midwinter Carol.” / Astarion and the OC broke up after his ascension. She left Baldur’s Gate for fifteen years, only to return just recently. Following the events of “A Midwinter Carol,” Ascended Astarion has been convinced to pursue a new beginning. Will he be able to change who he has become, with the help of his ex-lover or will he ultimately fall victim to himself?

Preview:

“You’re far too comfortable within our arrangement, darling. Now, simply stand there and look pretty. It’s what you’re best at,” Astarion had finally drawled after a long silence between the two of them, feigning nonchalance at her comment while the white-knuckled grip on his goblet told another story.

Warnings: This will be 18+ / in game spoilers / Eventual Smut / Angst, trauma, fluff / Gore / Violence / PTSD / Astarion’s past trauma

A/N: Took two weeks, but we finally got there! I am going to try to start posting my longfics on a more consistent schedule. Stay tuned for the schedule, once I've figured it out lol!

-----

Delilah loathed people in power. She hated the moneyed patrons looking down their noses at her, always with an air of disgust. The wealthy acted as if they were doing her a favor; as if they weren’t the ones begging for her skills.

The elite she entertained in the brothels might have different kinks, different preferences, and different fantasies that she danced around… but one rule applied to every entitled, powerful individual that purchased her time: they loved to hear themselves talk.

It was quite comical how much her clients would share when they perceived her as an idiot. They often thought her beneath them; nothing more than a glorified decoration, a plaything. An empty vessel to spill their seed into. 

But Delilah was far more cunning than she looked. She wouldn’t have been a whore, if only her circumstances had been different. Her aspirations had always been higher than sex work, and despite loathing people in power, she knew one of them would eventually be her meal ticket out of her situation. 

She was too smart to be a whore and yet too desperate to shy away from any opportunity that came knocking upon her brothel door. 

So when Astarion first spoke to her in Elvish, insulting her in the process, Delilah knew to stay silent. From almost the beginning, she intended to play the long game with the vampire and figured it best to appear ignorant. 

She assumed his goading to be a test. She felt the silver-haired elf wanted to know if she understood his native tongue, though she didn’t quite understand why at the time. So instead of giving any indication she knew Astarion had just called her a filthy whore, Delilah simply smiled and purred a superficial compliment; it was something about how sexy he sounded speaking Elvish.

He bought it. 

After that initial test from Astarion, he would often speak in Elvish when she morphed into Eirianwen’s shape. Most strings of his mother tongue were simply sweet nothings and lamentations he clearly would have preferred to say to the real woman, not the one he paid to portray her. It was tedious to endure the Ascendant as he relentlessly plunged in and out of her body, speaking sappy nonsense as she performed exactly the way he expected her to.

He always took forever to finish.

The ordeal was ridiculous, really. But her suffering proved worthwhile, for a time. It bought her connections to other elites, a new apartment, and — perhaps most valuable of all — pieces of information. 

Over the years, Delilah collected many useful bits  of knowledge from Astarion. The bastard loved to hear himself talk, in and out of bed, just like all the others. She sold some of the lesser information to his enemies and kept the most significant pieces stored within her mind. 

Delilah knew he held the secret to true power – it was etched upon his back — and she wanted it for herself. She spent years assembling pieces of the puzzle and carefully unlocking the vaults of his psyche for that one purpose. It was no easy task. 

But those years passed, and Delilah grew more impatient with the passing of each season. Astarion was dramatic, self-obsessed, privileged, and almost always held an air of missing that stupid sorceress. Constantly soothing his ego became a full time job, and Delilah began to think she loathed him more than she loved his money and connections to power.

Eventually, she thought she would simply convince Astarion to make her a true vampire, cut her losses, and just take those powers as a consolation prize. Her time enduring the Vampire Lord had been more than enough, and she was ready for it to end. She felt she understood why the real Eirianwen left him; if she’d had the means, Delilah would have been gone long ago, too.

But not everyone is a trust fund baby. 

So, one evening, at another party almost identical in theme and guest list to the soirée they’d attended the week prior, Delilah broached the subject of immortality with Astarion. Her frustration quickly rose to the forefront when the Vampire Lord denied her far too quickly, as if he’d considered the option long ago and decided against it. 

“Why not?” she’d pressed, her arm wrapped around his, simply playing the all-too-familiar part of a decoration at his side as they walked about the great hall of some noble’s mansion.

But, even as she asked, Delilah knew the reason: she was a glorified shell in his eyes; nothing more than a novelty item. She was hardly permitted to be in her own chosen form for these parties, or in general, after all. Astarion never wanted to see her as her. He always made her rotate her appearance as his date, instead. She was never supposed to be Eirianwen in public, of course, because imagine the scandal; but she was always some beautiful being. 

Just not herself. 

Among the many strange aspects of the egotistical man she’d tied herself to for years, Delilah found it odd that Astarion seemed to prefer the appearance of rakishness without actually being a rake. Though she suspected he liked the idea of appearing unattached, should the real Eirianwen ever flit back into his life. Idiot.

“I am not currently paying you to speak, Delilah,” Astarion had warned in a low hiss, his jaw tensed as he’d refused to look at the woman holding onto his arm. 

She was in the form of some gorgeous, pouty-lipped, large chested brunette she’d seen while working in Waterdeep years ago. Astarion always seemed to prefer silver-haired dates, so Delilah intentionally gave him anything else when she was particularly irritated with the bastard.

“It’s been half a decade… she isn’t coming back, you know,” Delilah had snapped in response, unable to hold back her frustration after tempering herself for ages. 

Five years had been far too long. 

She’d been attached to this vile man longer than his precious sorceress ever had been and still played second fiddle to a memory. The thought made her insides boil with rage.

Not that she loved Astarion. Absolutely not. But she felt he still owed her something after all this time. Because truly, he was dreadful, and he would have done nothing of note with all that money and power if she hadn’t pushed him in the right direction. Hells, he couldn’t even sleep properly when they first met, let alone play political dragonchess with dignitaries and crime bosses. 

No, the majority of that had been her doing. But of course, in his pride, the Vampire Lord was certain it had been him all along. 

“You’re far too comfortable within our arrangement, darling. Now, simply stand there and look pretty. It’s what you’re best at,” Astarion had finally drawled after a long silence between the two of them, feigning nonchalance at her comment while the white-knuckled grip on his goblet told another story. 

But the shapeshifter knew her value was severely underestimated. She was more than a common whore, more than an attractive escort, more than just a shell of someone else’s form. And after years of catering to Astarion’s massive ego, one would think her other talents would be of value to the Ascendant – at least enough to consider turning her.

Apparently not.

Ultimately, Astarion kept refusing Delilah’s requests for immortality. Eventually, the shapeshifter decided she’d had enough; she would have to find another route to power. 

She’d wasted too much time already.

*

When Delilah first planned to break into the Palace, she knew entering through the dungeon would be most convenient. Waltzing in right through the front door, while potentially possible in Astarion’s form, would attract far too much attention. The servants swarmed him the moment he entered any room. Plus, she suspected her target happened to be in the bowels of the Palace, away from prying eyes – the dungeon would be faster, too.

It would be a quick job – get in, get out, get back to her new boss, get turned. 

She knew the secret entryway into the dungeon was enchanted and required a password spoken in Astarion’s voice. At first, this had been a significant dilemma. Delilah’s shape shifting was flawless, and yet she always failed to adequately reproduce voices. However, thanks to his unwilling donation of DNA at the auction, the woman successfully brewed a potion that perfectly captured Astarion’s haughty tenor. 

One utterance of “aeterna amantes” later and she found herself in the frigid cobblestone dungeon underneath her ex-lover’s abode. 

She could not help but feel pride for her multiple talents at this moment. If Delilah had been able to afford tuition at Blackstaff thirty years ago, her life would be inconceivably different. Self-study and natural talents could only get her so far, unfortunately. 

Locating the Jathiman Dagger – or “The God Killer,” as it had been called in the texts she read on the subject – had been effortless in comparison to her first trial. The ancient blade was rippling with arcane magic, and Delilah simply reached out to the Weave for guidance. Like a compass, the Weave led her straight to the second hidden passageway in the dungeon, this one much less guarded than the first. And there, behind an illusory wall, was the ticket to her future in the form of a well-worn, rusted dagger.

In truth, the woman thought the weapon that could kill anything from a god to a devil – and certainly a mere Vampire Ascendant, by that logic – would be far grander in appearance than just a simple serrated blade with a leather-wrapped hilt. At first, Delilah worried it was a decoy. But the arcane thrum when she touched the weapon was undeniable; all that was left on her end of the deal was to get back to Lady Lysandra and deliver the dagger. She could leave Edmund to rot if she wanted, Lysandra had indicated him to be disposable in their scheming. 

But standing on the precipice of her future, and try as she might, Delilah couldn’t bring herself to take the final jump and leave the stupid spawn. Not after the time they spent together the past few months. He’d been, over all, a gentleman. And when she finally propositioned him after weeks, he’d never asked her to change into any other form, despite knowing she could… that had been a first for her. 

‘Leave him, leave him, leave him,’ she thought as she made her way toward the secret tunnel leading out of the cobblestoned torture chamber.

And yet, against her better judgment and with half of her mind screaming in disbelief, Delilah stopped just before reaching freedom, tucked the dagger into her robes and began to climb the cobblestone steps of the dungeon. She willingly walked straight into the lion’s den.

*

Finding Astarion and Edmund had been simple; she only had to follow the pained grunts of the vampire spawn and the deranged shouting of her ex-lover. But as she walked in that direction, under cover of a simple invisibility spell, Delilah passed the master bedchambers where she’d laid under Astarion more times than she could count. Out of habit, she glanced into the room and spotted Eirianwen sound asleep, instead of writhing in pain like she should be with Delilah’s poisons working inside her body.

And gods that enraged Delilah. She wanted Astarion to suffer in the worst way, to watch the only person he ever seemed to love be tortured beyond belief, lose motor function, and eventually die after a long, chronic battle with the side effects of Delilah’s concoction. 

He deserved it, and by extension, Eirianwen did, too. She made him what he was, after all. 

But how was this possible? 

The knowledge-seeker in the shapeshifting woman decided to take a quick detour, temporarily ignoring the tortured cries from Edmund in the next room. He was strong, surely he could endure for a mere moment longer as she examined the sorceress, she thought.

After a quick study of Eirianwen, Delilah notices the ring on the sorceress’s blackening hand and realizes it's the flimsy golden band that’s protecting the woman. She remembers the auctioneer toting the magical abilities of the rings Astarion ultimately paid far too much for. 

But Delilah doesn’t dare touch Eirianwen to try and remove the ring. The newest potion coursing through the elven woman’s system had been a rush job; Delilah was not certain how potent the paralytic was or if it would transfer to her, another living being, via touch. It’s why she’d had Edmund carry the bottle around at the party, just in case there had been a mishap; her necrotic concoctions were much less potent on the undead, but on the living they were always particularly nasty. 

A flurry of curses on the other side of the wall, followed by more vitriol from the Vampire Lord, all coming from the space next door she knows to be Astarion’s office, finally rips Delilah from her thoughts and pushes her forward. She doesn’t have a plan. She really did not expect herself to risk her neck for this random spawn. 

Delilah morphs into Eirianwen’s form, mangled hand and all, and slowly edges her way toward the office. At minimum, she can distract Astarion and hopefully Edmund can break away with a bit of her assistance. He’s certainly strong.

When Delilah turns around the corner, she quickly realizes, much to her dismay, that any hopes of saving Edmund are gone. Astarion is crushing the other vampire’s skull in with one hand and plunging something into the man’s chest repeatedly with the other. Splatters of blood are sprinkled about the office like stars in the night sky. The man she’d spent months scheming with, fucking, and for whom she’d idly considered killing his master for once she achieved her goal is lying limp and mangled underneath the Ascendant. 

Edmund is gone. And the realization elicits a genuine, horrified scream from Delilah. In that moment she realizes that perhaps she actually cared for him… as much as someone like her could care about anyone. When Astarion’s eyes snap to her, Delilah forgets she’s in Eirianwen’s form and runs.

Before long, the woman recollects herself as the silver-haired elf shouts down the hallway, calling after his precious Ani. She turns to look at the Vampire Lord, her face filled with hatred, and misty steps as far as she can away from him, back toward the dungeon entrance on the lower floor. Delilah was supposed to leave the murder of Astarion Ancunin to Lady Lysandra… but she just decided that she changed her mind. 

She was going to kill Astarion in his own home, and she was going to savor every delicious moment as he watched the woman he loved stab him to death. 

-----

A/N: Special shoutout to a reader, @lil23akira for absolutely calling this! I love that you were able to pick up on all my foreshadowing. And thank you to @leomonae and @tallymonster for reading this and providing feedback as I worked through what was the most difficult chapter to write thus far.

[karniss-bg3]

Salute, Larian Studios

Heya folks! It’s been a while, I hope everyone is doing well. I’m breaking my hiatus to discuss the recent announcement made by Larian Studios on their steam development blog. I will add the link here for those who wish to read the blog in its entirety but be warned, there are patch seven spoilers within. I wish to focus on a particular section in the final three paragraphs of the document, which reads as follows:

“Being given the chance to develop a game set in the Dungeons & Dragons universe has been a dream come true for all of us. But as Swen recently confirmed, we won't be introducing any major new narrative content to the story of Baldur's Gate 3 or its origin characters and companions, nor will we be making expansions or Baldur’s Gate 4. As an independent studio since 1996, we value the freedom to follow our creativity wherever it leads. In this case, after six years in the Forgotten Realms and much discussion and rumination, we’ve decided to seize this opportunity to develop our own IPs. We’re currently working on two new projects and we couldn’t be more excited about what the future has in store. It’s still early days - we’ll tell you more about those later down the line. But know that even as our focus turns to these new games, the sensibilities that brought you Baldur’s Gate 3 are alive and well here at the Larian castle. We’re fueled by the very same fire in our bellies, one that drives us to create immersive experiences shaped by your choices, and we can’t wait for you to join us on this next adventure.”

I will admit, when I first read this I felt a tinge of disappointment. As someone who had a lot of hope in seeing some stories continued, Kar’niss especially, this feels like the once open door is now sealed shut permanently. To be entirely fair, I always looked at an expanded Kar’niss story with skeptical optimism; hope for the best but expect the worst. After all, Kar’niss was designed as a throw away plot device that had no real bearing on the over-all narrative. Most of what has been derived of the character is entirely fan driven and not based on anything confirmed by Larian as a whole. Furthermore, there were many fan favorites that had a larger base than our dear drider and chances are even if Larian did decide to do an expansion, Kar’niss still wouldn’t make the cut.

With that said, I respect Larian in their choice. To expand on other characters would cost a lot of money and time. To juggle that alongside making new games would be unrealistic, and I understand their point of view completely. We also don’t know what is going on behind the scenes which could’ve influenced their choices all the more. Over all this situation mirrors the old saying, “Don’t cry because it’s over, be happy that it happened.” I am happy, and grateful. Without Baldur’s Gate 3 this blog wouldn’t exist. All of the amazing interactions I’ve had over several months would’ve never occurred, nor would I have found the courage to publicly publish stories to the internet. While I don’t consider myself an awful writer, I never believed my work was good enough for those outside of my personal circle. To say that my confidence has blossomed over the last few months is an understatement, and I owe that to the fantastic support of those in the fandom as well as those close to me. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

With Larian closing up the BG3 shop after the next few patches the question becomes, what’s next? For me, I don’t know. Sadly I’ve been swamped lately and it’s not destined to slow down until the middle of May. By then I hope to have a sufficient breather so I can return to projects I’ve left on the back burner in the interim. The Kar’niss blog will remain in place along with all of the archived stories, theories, and miscellaneous posts that are present. I still have a few writing requests that have waited a lot longer than I anticipated, so forgive me for the delay. I may also make a new blog that is dedicated solely to writing and other fandoms of interest. When the time comes I’ll post it here and folks can follow it if they wish but I’ll understand if not. Regardless of what the future holds, I am very stoked with the experiences I’ve had within the Baldur’s Gate 3 fandom. I’m a painfully shy individual and I am not a spotlight seeker by any stretch of the imagination. This section of the internet allowed me to expand my horizons a bit proving that you can indeed teach an old writer new tricks.

I look forward to seeing what is in store for Larian Studios. So long as they stick to their passion for making good games and treating their customers like people instead of money cows to be milked, then I will support every game release that comes in the future. While I’m sad that the many questions I had about Kar’niss will go unanswered, at least the drider will live on through the stories, art and other creative works made by his fans. In that way he is eternal, as are all of the other characters we’ve grown to love over this journey.

I hope to return on a more regular basis soon. Until then drider army, take care of yourselves and thank you for your continued support.

[britt-kageryuu]

Leo is streaming, lounging on the big beanbag chair again. His model is in space themed comfy clothes, with slippers, and a star covered mask.

He was playing through a rouge like game, not fully sure what he needs to do yet, but still having fun fighting off the multiple waves of enemies. It's noted that he's sticking to the sword based weapons, even if there are multiple weapons available from the beginning.

Suddenly the graphic of a cartoony slider riding a skateboard, rolls across the screen followed by "Thank You Chaotic_CinnamonRoll for the $10, 'Why did you decide to go into the medical field? You might've mentioned medical books in the past?'"

Leo let out a nostalgic sigh, "Well, that was part of why I got into medical stuff, let me tell ya. I think Dee mentioned how we didn't have legal identification for years, so if something happened with us Dad couldn't really take us to any medical facility. But he got ahold of as much supplies, and field medic training manuals, and medical guides as he could find." Leo has a smile on his face as he continues, "And while Dee is big on science, they don't like viscera, so Pops started to show me how to help. It just goes from there."

Leo spys a comment in chat, "For the person asking about Pops not using insurance, well after his sudden retirement, he didn't have insurance anymore, and he didn't know how to apply." Leo lets out another sigh, "Plus he wasn't familiar with how things worked, because he had a manager or assistant to do all that stuff for him. He was just a confused father of 4 who was trying his best while dealing with his own depression! I'm not trying to justify anything, just stating a fact."

Leo suddenly stretched himself out to grab something and rolled over onto his stomach, facing away from the camera, he's grabbed his phone to check a notification that wasn't heard over the mic, for once. What ever the message was it made his happy, because his tail was wagging a bit fast. He spends a few minutes messaging back and forth with who is assumed to be Leo's boyfriend.

He eventually remembered that he was in the middle of a stream, and sheepishly apologized for ignoring them.

"So since this game is newer than most that I've played, there aren't many guides on what I chould do yet. Sooo I gotta keep throwing things at the enemy and see what's most effective. Like that, wait was he a Croc, or and Aligator? Either way he was the first mini boss! Image how hard the other will be until we get more upgrades!" Leo says excitedly as he goes over the upgrades menu after returning to the start after dying right after the boss, from low health. "We also got this new 'Side Scroller Beatem Up' game because it and the DLC was one sale. Though that might be better played with more players, and our schedules don't always line up multiple people being on the stream. Plus I promised Dee our next game would be his choice."

Leo is half focused on going through the upgrade menus, and talking to the characters around the hub area. Thinking that the blue guy he was playing as could lighten up a bit, be more like the orange dude, but hey their Dad is missing and everything is tense. And where is the last person of the group, or do they only appear after going a certain distance in the game?

"Though I do like the look of that spikey turtle dude, reminded me of Red, though he's wearing, was it dark blue or a deep teal, either way cool dude. Hope he shows up in the hub area. Now do I want to switch to one of the other 3, or just continue as my blue guy?" Leo is rambling, if only because the analytical part of his mind is currently at war with the 'Oh Shiney! What was I doing?' part of his mind. "ALSO! What is with the odd element system that the flavor text is talking about, not the water I get that, this Utrom thing, it's kind described as tech based, but what is an Utrom? Why am I asking chat when they mostly say they've never seen this game before?... Did I forget to take my medicine, because I don't usually ramble my thoughts out loud this much."

He then pauses the game to check his phone for his medical data. "So I need to take a break again real quick. I either didn't take my medicine, or somehow took the wrong medication. So please hold while I go check. And don't any of you go looking up the game to purposefully cause spoilers. I want to figure out enough on my own first. Okay BRB!"

The screen switches over to an animated scene of the guys cartoony turtle selves are swimming about, though Mikey is jumping between Raph and Leo, and slightly submerging Leo in the process. Donnies is occasionally trying to bite Leo for bumping into him.

The chat is talking among themselves, notifications are going off, and some jokes about the medic taking the wrong medication.

------------------

Masterpost

I still don't quite understand my own writing process. Like I had only the 'why I got into the medical field' part planned, then just decided to have him ramble about the game which is 'TMNT Splintered Fate' but not quite. Then at the last minute I was like 'I should make up a reason for him being very ramble-y right now'.

If I should change this, let me know. I do like feedback.

[thenon-fictiondays]

Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 4-1

Chapter 4: Fall.

Part 1

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It might be September by now, but the sun’s rays know no bounds.

Heat from the weather aside, the schoolhouse on the coattails of summer break is permeated with the fervor of the students.

Among all those in the athletic clubs who have undergone away games and training camps, there are many who have deepened both their tans and their virility. The sense of achievement characteristic of those who kept up with their exercise lives within their growth spurts.

Hirano’s roommate is, once again, one of them.

Kagiura, who’s gotten a bit taller, has gotten used to high school, completely devoid of the anxiety he’d seemed to have around the time he’d started school.

Since they’d met up over the summer, he’s become more and more relaxed, and Hirano can’t help but think of him as a beloved younger brother.

Wait, but younger brothers don’t do things like give you earrings, do they?

Hirano isn’t really in a position to judge, with no siblings of his own.

He’d found his original earrings while organizing his luggage after returning from Kagiura’s countryside home. They’d fallen into his school bag and hidden themselves beneath the stiff bottom plate.

What should I do about it? he’d wondered, but figured well, whatever, and didn’t bother switching out his new ones. He’ll keep them in the dorm just in case, but ultimately plans to keep using the ones Kagiura gave him.

As soon as the new term starts, preparations for the Cultural Festival are full speed ahead. Even the first years, who aren’t used to running events without the guidance of a faculty member, are gradually gaining opportunities to build character. The Executive Committee members have so many responsibilities that it has become difficult to carry out their studies without the cooperation of their classmates.

Kagiura also has the situation of being part of the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’, and his grades are not up to snuff. It would be good if they don’t take a hit from his extracurricular responsibilities, but that will come down to his own efforts.

It’s not just the Executive Committee members who are swamped. The students in the culture clubs are also at their busiest, and with the autumn tournament right around the corner, there’s no way the athletics clubs can cut back on practices.

The sweltering nights have yet to abate; yet despite these conditions which could even be called cruel, most of the students are eagerly awaiting the Cultural Festival. You might even get away with saying all of them.

Because, after all, girls come to visit the cultural festival. 

And even without that element, a festival is still a festival. 

This is a time when the whole student body is restless, so the Disciplinary Committee will be on top of keeping everyone in line—or such is their public stance, but they won’t be too strict about moderating uniforms and hair styles.

In any case, a high proportion of the students will be in costumes on the day of the festival. 

There's also at least one class cross-dressing every year. 

This year, that’s right, it's the class that Hirano is unfortunately a part of. More specifically, it's been decided that Hirano will be one of the ones in drag. 

Oiwa-san—a famous spirit who makes an appearance in the Yotsuya Kaidan.¹

There are many variations of the famous ghost story, in which Oiwa, the deceased wife, holding a grudge over the betrayal of her husband, Iemon, slaughters every last person involved. Apparently, they will be basing the makeup off of Tōkaidō Yotsuya Kaidan², which is popular among Hirano’s classmates.

He’d been shown reference images of the ghost, her face half disfigured and inflamed by poison, but the picture was nightmare fuel when viewed in the dark.

Supposedly it’s a style of Halloween makeup that’s been popular in recent years, but the trial makeup that had been applied to his arm after school in order to match the shade to his face had been truly grotesque.

This information is to be kept top secret until the last possible minute on the day of, in the interests of building hype.

While Hirano is putting away his homework, the door opens with a click.

His roommate is home.

It’s still bright outside, but the dining hall is just about to open for dinner.

“Hirano-san, I’m home!”

“Welcome home, Kagi-kun.”

These days, Kagiura usually gets a bit bashful in reply to Hirano’s greeting, seemingly tickled. So naive and innocent he must be, making such an expression with no fear of being misunderstood.

There were days they’d spent together, but summer vacation had been long.

There’s an air of a different kind of newness from the one there’d been in the period before they’d gotten used to sharing a dorm—Kagiura probably feels it too. At least, Hirano thinks so.

He feels closer to Kagiura compared to before. After all, he’s met his immediate and extended family, so of course they’d feel more intimate. It’s as if the part of himself that had been on guard while thinking about how to act as a senpai in his second year in the dorms has been absolved.

After Hirano had filled out his print-outs as if in competition with Kagiura, who’d spread out his homework in a frenzy, they’d headed to the dining hall a little later than usual.

It always takes him about 3 or 4 days to get back into the swing of dorm life.

Speaking of which, he thinks.

Before Kagiura moved into the dorms, Hirano had been quite nervous.

He’d talked to Hanzawa about it one time when the Disciplinary Committee had a meeting, and they’d brainstormed strategies to avoid scaring Kagiura off.

He’d also felt it would be a waste of his efforts if he was only friendly at the beginning of their time spent living together; thus, they’d come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be too far out of Hirano’s depths to give him a nickname and use “-kun”.

Oh yeah, that’s right. At the beginning I called him Kagiura-kun.

He’s been calling his name every day, enough that he’d ended up shortening it, thinking it’s too long and clunky.

Kagiura has morning practice tomorrow, too, so there's no way he can let him oversleep.

Hirano got that, but there was something on his mind that just wouldn’t go away, so he asked before shutting off the lights. 

".....Hey, um. I know you're working hard, so I don't wanna rain on your parade, but are your studies going all right? I haven't heard how your proficiency test went yet."

As the words leave his mouth, he thinks, what am I, a private tutor? and laughs drily to himself.

For the results of the test held right after summer break, a list ranking every student in their grade and the standard score were passed out to each person, the same as for the periodic exams.

For first years, they can be used as nothing more than a reference, but due to the breadth of the material covered, in some cases they might be used to determine which schools to apply to when compared to results from previous cram schools.

“...I just barely passed.”

“What’s the damage?”

“The teacher said, ‘You didn’t do badly enough that I need to pull you aside, but keep working hard’...”

“I see.”

Which is bad in and of itself, really.

Kagiura hangs his head dejectedly, and Hirano’s tempted to comfort him all the more for having seen the extent of his efforts, but his lack of preparation is unmistakable.

“Kagi-kun, after the cultural festival is over, you gotta step it up. If you miss some of the notes, get someone to show you theirs before the next day. Don’t let them build up. If you end up with a backlog of notes to take, you’re not gonna be able to understand them.”

Hirano knows deep down he’s probably worrying too much, but he keeps the expression on his face stern. The beginning is the key to everything. Among his classmates in the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’ who, like Kagiura, are bad students, there are many whose grades plummeted after going on to their second year.

Who knew he’d become this much of a worrywort after becoming someone’s senpai?

“Yeah…Hirano-san, will you teach me again?”

“Sure. But you better bring back good grades.”

“I will! …By the way, can I ask you something?”

He ducks his head as he asks the question, a gesture with all the charm one would expect from someone as cute as him.

“What’s up?”

“When you were a first year, did the senpai you roomed with teach you how to study, too?”

“Nah, no way.”

“Hm…did you not get along?”

“It’s not that we didn’t get along, we just weren’t really that close. I wasn’t nearly as friendly a kouhai as you are.”

This is usually the case for dorm students. Hanzawa, contemptuous of homosexual relations, has a reputation in certain circles for having a finely-tuned gaydar and showing up to cockblock any time he senses anyone getting a little too close.³

His distaste isn’t unwarranted; apparently it has to do with his family, so even Hirano feels bad for him.

“...Does that make me special, then?”

“Why are you so happy about that?”

At Hirano’s jests of what are you, a dog? Kagiura breaks into a grin.

“Yeah. You know, I’m glad I’m your roommate, Hirano-san.”

Hirano smiles wryly; Kagiura’s got him wrapped around his little finger without a hint of insincerity.

With Kagiura cozying up to him like this, he doesn’t stand a chance.

*****

T/N: (1) Not sure I need to add more info on this to the story, but it's pretty interesting, so you can read more about it here.

(2) A movie based on the story made in 1959.

(3) Yall....idek what to say about this. I tried to keep the tone lighthearted but the original text literally says 'gay-hating Hanzawa' and describes his feelings as disgust. Idk why the writer put this but our boy is NOT like that 😭 I actually broke my vow of not looking at the official TL just to see how they handled this bit and they completely watered it down lmao. and tbh, yall know my dedication to accuracy but I WAS TEMPTED. While going back and forth about what I should do, I told my sister about it, and she suggested that Hanzawa doesn't actually hate gays, he just hates gay sex and will stand for none of it in his dorm so...we're going with that interpretation 💀🙃💀🙃

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Special shoutout to @jeizet, @jujupanic, @massyworld, @umbreonwolfy, and @acidsuzanne-blog for sponsoring these updates 🙌

[hellslayersomething]

thoughts on all the DA4 news this past week, from a tired old veteran who's been wandering the bloodied plains of the DA fandom since Origins' release:

I still don't believe that this game actually exists and won't until it's in my hand, in my PS5, I've clocked 50 hours, and I hit credits.

After the news came out that there were 7 companions, I told a friend I would need a solid 4/7 of them to be pre-existing characters in the canon. Harding, Neve, Lucanis, and Emmerich put it at exactly that number, so good show there.

The "Hero Shooter" character reveal trailer was a massive mistake. BioWare and the influencers they're paying had to spend the past two days doing frantic PR to convince people that the game doesn't actually look like that, it's not indicative of the game's tone, it definitely feels like Tevinter Nights and not Fortnite, and it's not a fee-to-pay live service game. They should have led with the gameplay video.

All of the people freaking out about Lucanis being labelled a "Mage Killer" just goes to show that DA discourse truly is a circle. (Also, read "The Wigmaker Job", it's so good.)

The dialogue suuuuucks. Wow, it's been a while since I've encountered a game that respects its audience's intelligence this little. [Earthquake] Harding: "The tremors are getting worse!" [demons show up] Neve: "And we've got demons!" Is BioWare expecting the core player base to consist of people who have never encountered media before? The extent to which the game over-exposits is quite actually mind boggling. I'm genuinely curious if there's anyone who watched this video who didn't come out of it feeling insulted by the game's lack of trust that you have basic cause-and-effect recognition skills. I know people like to bandy about "media literacy is dead", but surely it hasn't gotten so bad that players need to be told out loud "Watch out for lightning" when a boss shoots lightning at them. I'm hoping this was just included for the sake of the gameplay video, but several of these very bad lines seem pretty integral to what's happening on screen, so I guess we'll see.

The dialogue and voicing for the trash mobs is especially bad. I hate to say the word, but I truly think "cringe" is applicable here.

Nice FFXIV reference. (Listen, if this game is going to play follow-the-leader with any one other game, since apparently DA can't get away from that habit, FFXIV is the one I'd want them to chase. Certainly a better fit than Overwatch.)

The battle system seems fine. Reminds me of DA2's, which was perfectly cromulent. Sincerely, I don't expect deeply satisfying gameplay from DA, they've never delivered it before, no need to start now. Passable is fine.

Happy to see the DA2 dialogue wheel return too. Hope that means the invisible personality system comes along with it.

No rivalry system :( Again :(((((

Seriously though, the marketing for this game is a massive mess and their marketing lead should probably be out of the job. All of the news from this week has led to increased confusion about what the game is, what it's called, whether it is DA4 or not, whether it's a single player RPG or not, whether it's an effective franchise reboot or not--and they're all but shadow-dropping it (theoretically) after 10 full years of releasing no other Dragon Age games. This franchise has close to no momentum (many people considered it outright dead until this week), and now that they're ready to start actually talking about DA4, they've completely stumbled out of the gate and given themselves only 3-6 months to come up with a PR plan to correct for that. Embarrassing, frankly.

I guess that's it. The new gameplay video has returned my mood on DA4 from "absolutely the fuck not" after the character reveal video back to a resounding "I nothing this game", which is...actually maybe a worse place for me to be. The last time I went into game feeling a hollow nothing from the promotional materials, it was FFXVI, and we all know how that turned out for me. Anyway, in conclusion:

[omgkalyppso]

I posted this before but deleted it both because I was embarrassed and because I was worried I'd severely fucked up Astarion's age for the nth time, originally referenced from This Post. But I've seen many more analyses and I think it's right. I think it is. Anyway!

EDIT: I DID GET HIS AGE WRONG because that is the post I meant to reference. But I'm not fixing it. 232.

I was tagged by @luinen-bluewater to complete this far simpler ship meme: otp, ot3/4.

Here is the template I actually used: ot3. Here's the otp version.

I'll tag a few people to complete any of the templates referenced: Luinen, @the-eldritch-it-gay, @vlwv, @tadpole-apocalypse, @boghermit, @lemonbronze, @littleplasticrat and YOU.

I'll put the above image chopped up below the cut so it's easier viewing for the curious. And I'll ramble a bit more (bg3 spoilers, discussion of vampirism and character deaths).

In my headcanons, Astarion neither remains a spawn nor becomes the Vampire Ascendant, he becomes a vampire, and some hundreds of years later he turns Étoile to a vampire as well (this post / these headcanons need reviewing after the epilogue changes with the Crown, but we'll see).

With this in mind, I was thinking of Halsin being the longest of their lovers and how Étoile could possibly handle his death:

Étoile and Astarion occupied on some adventure / business or other, and when they return, an unaffected or perhaps impatient messenger has come to deliver news of Halsin's death. And it is so long after the others of their relevant, initial, adventuring party has passed (or maybe not. Lae'zel is a wild card (no aging on the astral plane)). Still, i can imagine one of them snapping. I think it's more interesting if it's Étoile, saying aloud that the messenger is mistaken, that surely the message is that Halsin's ill and is calling to see them a final time — Astarion's near shouting in embarrassment and worry, telling the messenger to go, calling Étoile's name, grabbing their arm until Étoile says loudly that they heard them. They heard what they said. And also sends the poor messenger away.

But then I started considering an alternative which I felt was ooc for Halsin from the base game but which I think is more possible / within the scope of his character after the addition of the epilogue. Reminder that Étoile is a paladin of the neutral evil goddess Auril, started bg3 as neutral good but whom I consider neutral evil, and is an Oathbreaker by the end of their adventure:

Halsin at like 820 or older, life expectancy 700-1000, veering wildly between peace with the natural order of things and intense discomfort with things that feel unfinished, the way they always do. And sometime with Étoile leaned against his chest he speaks of Silvanus, the Oakfather, of children and elders in all families of creatures have come and gone, of how his druidic order has changed more slowly than a tree spreads its roots, and how never in all that time did Étoile ask him to abandon his god and his (god's) comfort for the sake of vampirism and eternity. Fondly, expecting Halsin to imagine it an irritation after his speech, Étoile recalls that Astarion did, three hundred or so years ago. Étoile points out that they know the comfort they found in their worship, and they would never have sought to steal that from him (Halsin). To be a vampire is unnatural, lost to his Oakfather. Halsin points out that he has felt that Étoile has wanted to ask before, even if it has always remained unsaid, in the emptiness in their chest (lack of heartbeat), in the slant of their mouth when his (Halsin's) movement is broken with age, in how they've (Étoile has) breathed in his silver hair the more it's overcome him, something that felt respectful once, but now he's past where his end should have been, and the temptation of rekindling old strengths, the hope of another thousand years, through vampirism, shames him (Halsin) greatly. The selfishness of an old mind. Why wouldn't it have felt like a possibility a hundred years ago, two hundred, more? How could he dare to think of continuing a protection of his forest, of caring for his kin, if he lost all connection to them, and even fears what makes them the same in their morality so much that he would dare forsake it. If he was going to lose his faith, why wouldn't he have done so when he was younger and different, except that he was stronger then, in body and in mind. And yet what difference would there be, feasting upon the wild in the woods? And Étoile would be blunt about the differences, and about how there are even laws now, that they helped put in place. "They" could punish them both greatly for this, but the transformation itself would be their shared shame. He could be their first spawn, and perhaps their only, but if he wanted this now — that it was no corruption of age, just a changed heart. And they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather -- but he would have to be sure, because the fallout could be immeasurable. Étoile would try to do it permissably, but they would turn Halsin in secret, if need be. And what if "they" were like. fucking no???? and to ensure you don't do this thing we're going to keep you sealed, either in an area or in a fucking coffin until your druid has passed. (Astarion would lose his fucking mind.)

Abbreviated:

Halsin: what if i've lived long enough to see myself become the villain. Étoile: well my ship has sailed, and you know, if i meet you in hell then it's not hell

I think though that Halsin's village would have warm, clean shelters under the ground, just below the surface as if to shelter from storms, but well-used and familiar to vampires after years of shared knowledge and resources. They'd be glad to claim him.

OH! And Étoile's birthday is Oct 20th (their date of creation during early access was Oct 20 2020), I gave Astarion Sept 22nd (first day of autumn), and Halsin May 13th (he seems like a Taurus and I figured he'd be worn and irksome about having a birthday that often falls on a day associated with bad luck (Friday the 13th)).

[rosecelebi]

Now that Fire Emblem Heroes has opened it's yearly Choose Your Legends voting period.... I am kindly asking you to consider sparing a vote (or two!) to two of my favorites in the series: F!Robin and Sigurd!

Why?

Well let's start with Robin,

Robin fans won out last year when their Male counterpart won the male division of CYL 7 alongside Soren and I'm sure many F!Robin fans (myself included) helped him reach that victory by voting, just as we did in previous years with Chrom and A!Tiki. F!Robin has waited for her time to shine and has supported her competition for several years now. It's time for her to receive the Awakening vote love!

If that wasn't enough to sway you, let's look at F!Robin's legacy in FEH.

1. Her base version was a year 1 grail unit with a mediocre (affectionate) refine that takes max investment to work around

2. Her summer alt is a year one seasonal with a bad weapon and book 1 era stats (but she sure is cute!)

3. Her legendary alt isn't even her- it's Grima. Grima took away her chance at being a legendary unit

4. Her Halloween alt is another Grima alt. She didn't even get to participate in Halloween because Grima took the spot :(

5. Her Valentine's alt is adorable but still a seasonal locked unit

6. Her rearmed version is yet another Grima.

HALF of all F!Robin's in FEH are Grima alts. There is no F!Robin available to summon in the normal 4/5 star pool. Getting a brave alt would be a big deal for her and her fans.

Please, spare a vote to the best tactician around, F!Robin!

~

Now, let's talk about Sigurd

Sigurd comes from FE4, Genealogy of the Holy War, a game I know many of you may not have played yet. That's okay though! I get it! It's a bit old and jank to play and you need to emulate it with a translation patch if you don't understand Japanese. So I'm gonna explain who this man is to you....

Sigurd is the heir to house Chalphy and a descent of the crusader Baldr in Judgral, which makes him kind of a big deal. Throughout his game, he makes allies with many people throughout Judgral in an attempt to unify and fight back against the rising corruption.

Along his journey, he meets Deirdre and the two fall in love and end up having a son together, Seliph. Sigurd is devoted to his family and loves Deirdre more than anything in the world. Sigurd is a family man. Look at this Cipher art if you need more explanation:

(*SPOILERS ahead for FE4, but FEH and Engage already spoiled this so if you somehow don't know what happens to Sigurd, maybe stop reading here*)

Tragedy befalls the couple not long after their son is born... Deirdre is kidnapped and her memories are wiped clean as she is needed for a sinister plot... Her holy blood is needed to help the Loptous cult resurrect their dark God so they use Deirdre as a pawn and marry her off to Arvis.

Sigurd is distraught with his wife gone and searches and searches for her but ultimately must continue through on his plans. He returns to his home and is met by Arvis, the Duke of Velthomer, and the descendant of the imperial family. He welcomes them in as a deceitful trick and declares Sigurd a traitor and calls for his execution. Before he issues the order, Arvis lets Sigurd meet his new wife- Deirdre as a sick and twisted punishment. With that, Arvis calls down Valflame and kills Sigurd and many of his army members.

Sigurd's legacy is carried by his son, Seliph, who will free Judgral from the horrors that the dark cult inflicted many years later.

~

So that was heavy. But do you understand why he's such a compelling character??? He has such an unfortunate heroes tale, but FEH let's us see him again and be able to reunite him with his love and his son.

Seliph got his own brave alt two years ago in CYL 6 and it feels right for it to be his father's time to step up and shine as a brave hero.

Let's look at Sigurd's legacy in FEH:

1. His base version is a year 1 sword cavalier who's a bit outdated but not unusable by any means with proper skill investment

2. His duo dancer alt is Deirdre is one of the best arts in the game and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise

3. His Legendary alt was a meta threat at one point in time and the art is gorgeous

4. Lastly, this year he got his second seasonal alt, a tea time Butler alt that just cute. He definitely is serving tea for Deirdre and making sure she's happy.

A brave alt just seems perfectly fitting for him at this point!

~

In conclusion, these are two characters who are ready for their moment to shine in FEH with a brave alt. They've waited for their friends or family members to get there first and now it's (potentially) their time for the brave win. Thank you for reading all this and may the CYL odds be in our favor!

TLDR: Vote for F!Robin and Sigurd in CYL 8!

[carpehistoryandthepens]

Legacy (what is a legacy?) Part 4

It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me

Hamilton, the world was wide enough. LMM.

one, two, three

Summary: Mike is 13. Born May 2009. Sid didn’t know he had a son. All Mike had was hope and a prayer for his and his half-sister’s safety.

(Sid is a dad of a teen he didn’t know about AU) Sidgeno.

Warnings: (for the total story) post-child abuse (all off-screen but it affects things and is spoken about often), learning how to parent, panic attacks, anxiety, based on last season, OCs?, realization about sexuality. Post breakups. Desperate lack of in-depth research for CPS in both PA/CA, melodrama?, kidfic, angst, slowburn, playing fast and loose with the law for drama/storytelling purposes.

-

Taking the ice for practice the day after talking to Geno over lunch, Sid felt much more centered than he had the day before. He was ready for this season. He could face the public, his team, his enemies, other teams, the media, kids being adorable with the Little Penguins. No matter what happens, he was prepared for this season.

Talking with Geno always helped get him in the right mindset for a season. That had been true since the moment they met in Mario's home. 

Geno was already in the locker room when sid got there, which would have been a surprise, but some fans had cornered Sid on the way in. While Sid had been stuck signing various hats, cards, and jerseys, Geno had blown past him in one of his super small, fast cars. 

Geno shot him a confident smile when they stepped onto the ice, immediately grabbing the puck sid was going for and starting to play keep-away. Sid felt that grin to the bottom of his toes. They could do this. They could take on anything.

The practice is still open to the public. The Return-to-Normal season operations was a relief. It was weird during the pandemic not tohave fans in the stands for most of training camp. Sid had long learned to ignore the people in the stands, which made their absence even more glaring. As the team warmed up and got ready for whatever Sully would throw at them that day, Sid looked around the stands. 

Having games and practices in arenas with no one to watch in person was even more bizarre than just practice rinks. It seemed like a punishment rather than protection. He understood, mostly - some of the Covid rules were just stupid, but Sid followed them as a good leader should.  

He was glad that the pandemic was past the first few years. Sid kind of missed going out with the masks, though. It had been a long time (if ever) since he had been that incognito in Pittsburgh. 

Sid pushed past the returned novelty of fans in the stands for training camp and focused on what Sully was saying. He could both be happy the fans were back and still frustrated that all he saw was families. Today was a good day to remind himself why he loved to play for people, even if they included people who got to live parts of life he never would. 

The next time he looked up and focused on the people surrounding the ice, the practice was half over. He paused to lean on the boards near the benches and get water from a waiting Bio Steel bottle. Sid frowned at it for a second before he took a swig. He hated change, and this was a big one. Sid couldn't help his mental expression at the new branding could be summed up as ">:("

As Sid gazed out at the stands, he took note of the people who had come. Many reporters, obviously, a few families were watching the practice, and a few WAG hopefuls all styled up and attempting to catch the attention of the rookies without looking too desperate. Some of the rookies had parents in the stands. Sid nodded at the group.  

It was a school day, so as Sid expected, there were fewer kids than yesterday. Sid put his water bottle down and reminded himself that he should give some of the younger ones a puck or two before he got off the ice at some point. He might be dying for kids now, and interacting with them hurt on some level, but he wouldn't ignore some hopeful young hockey fans. He took one long look around to take stock of the age group – that would determine if it was a puck or a stick he gave away – but Sid's eyes locked on the kid directly opposite the bench in the stands. 

It was the same kid as yesterday, looking even more exhausted and rumpled and staring at him with familiar eyes framed with bruises. The kid was wearing the same clothing as the day before, and now that Sid was looking at him closely, there was a faded black eye and a cut on his face. The kid's wary expression let Sid doubt that the enforcer look was only because of hockey. At least not the U16 he was thinking about yesterday. 

The boy looked even more tired than the day before, and the girl was running around playing with a worn stuffed unicorn, and Sid saw a small, purple child's size luggage sitting next to the overstuffed hockey bag. The boy wasn't wearing a jacket; his - or at least Sid assumed it was his – was wrapped around the girl as she moved along the benches of the stands, making her seem smaller than she probably was. 

Something about them set off every bell in Sid's head. The teen tempted the girl into eating a pretzel from the snack counter and drinking from a blue shaker bottle with a Superman emblem and about a dozen stickers. 

Sid kept an eye on them for the rest of the practice. It was the last rep he finally got close enough to take in all the details about the kids. What he saw nearly made Sid trip over his skates. 

Littering the skin up and down the teen's uncovered arms were bruises in various stages of healing. Sid had spent too long in the hockey world not to know the timeline of most bruising like the back of his hand. Most of the bruises that decorated the kid's face looked at least a week to two weeks old but were deep. 

There was bruising on the boy's face, and, when the oversized jacket sleeve slipped down, there was bruising along the girl's arms, and fading black eyes on both. Sid felt his stomach drop; The girl couldn't be over four years old. The teen was young too. Hell, Sid might be optimistic about calling the kid a teen. He didn't know. 

One of the WBS defensemen stole the puck from him, and Sid jerked his attention back to the drill. He won the puck back and nearly scored. Jarry's creative swearing let Sid know the goalie was ready for the season. 

The moment he could, Sid broke off and caught the attention of one of Tag's practice assistants and a trainer. The assistant is in school to be a counselor – a sports counselor but a counselor, nonetheless. The trainer was back up. Anthony and Charlie. At the moment, Sid did not remember which was which. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears as he realized what might be going on. 

Sid had to do something. And this was the best idea he had on short notice. 

The two walked away; Sid attempted to force his attention back to the practice entirely. He kneeled with the other guys at center ice and listened carefully to Sully's instructions. He did his best at the 'actual last, I promise; I'm planning on working you hard for the game tomorrow' drill. 

Sid did his best not to look back at the bench where Anthony and Charlie were still talking to the kid and his sister during the rest of practice. 

He wasn't successful by the side eyes most of the team gave him. They shuffled him along as they returned to the center ice to stretch and cool down. When the team let him settle down, Sid had a clear view of the conversation happening in the stands, even if he couldn't hear it. Rinks never had good acoustics for conversation - just the sound of pucks hitting boards and blades scraping on ice. 

Sid looked around at his team, annoyed to be so blatantly caught. Geno smirked at him, delighting in his pout. "Why the ring around the Rosie?" Sid bit out, trying to keep his eyes away from the small group off the ice. He failed with a quick glance at the stands.

Rusty laughed a little under his breath. "Sid. You kept getting distracted." That got a lot of mummers of agreement from the guys. 

"Yeah," Carts said from across the circle, "Dude, whatever you're planning on doing, I'm sure it will be accepted. You are Sidney Crosby." That got a roll of laughter from the team. 

Sid didn't want to explain, at least not on the ice. "Fine, if that's what you think, Cartsy, you can lead the team in stretches." Sid put his captain's voice on to ensure the conversation ended. 

Jeff grumbled jokingly but did as he was told, taking the cue from Sid to drop the topic. 

For now. 

Sid knew his team and was unsurprised when he was inundated with questions when they were off the ice and back in the practice rink's locker room. Their voices were a loud happy cacophony that Sid could bearly make out individual questions from. 

"Sid, what's up?" 

"Who's the kid, Sid?" 

"Whatcha planning?" 

"Ooo, are you going to steal some kids, cap?" 

"Nah, he's going to make a kid's day, rookie!" 

Sid watched his team gently chip him over his actions as he always did. Sid let the group go on for a while they all got changed and ready for the showers. The team video review wasn't until after lunch, and that wasn't for an hour. 

Sully seemed pleased at how the team skated during practice, so he hadn't followed them into the locker room to finish getting his points across. 

The team was feeling it, and Sid was happy just to let the atmosphere of the room wash over him. Geno draped himself over his shoulder despite his locker being across the room. He was mostly undressed from his kit and had a towel wrapped around his broad shoulders. Sid wanted to bite them like always, but the feeling wasn't new or uncommon around the rink, so Sid didn't think of it too much. He always felt like that around a good set of shoulders - jealously or envy, he had long attributed it to. "Now, Sidney Crosby, help all the kids. He does not just steal one." Geno crooned. 

Tanger snorted disbelievingly as he passed toward the showers, and Dumo and Rusty gaffed as they trailed behind him. 

"G." Jake said as he pulled off the last of his gear and walked away from his stall, "You know the WAGs have a standing suggestion to new parents to the team that if their kid goes missing, just call Sid first? That they are most likely with him?" 

Sid shook Geno off in protest and glared at the room. He pulled off his jersey and gear, saying, "That was once! With Duper's kids! Twelve years ago!" Sid had a distinct impression that he squawked, but he refused to admit that in the room. To do so was to admit weakness and allow the sharks (Geno, Tanger, Rusty, Dumo, Jeff, Petey…. well, his whole damn team, now that Sid thought about it) to take advantage. While he was just one of the boys, the key was not to be too obvious. 

Geno laughed as he walked away from Sid's stall and toward the showers. "Anna has that too!" he said, completely selling out Sid's occasional 'Can I borrow your son?' outings with Nikita. "He always brings back." 

So sue Sid, they didn't happen often but often enough that Anna has called Sid before. Rarely…. But it has happened. Nikita was a delight. 

The team laughed and didn't stop the chirping until most of them were well into the post-practice showers. 

Sid glared at Geno, mostly jokingly, in a good mood after the worry Sid had carried all practice. But making Sid happy was Geno's goal as he grinned at Sid as they washed off. So, Sid did his best to plot instead of admitting how happy Geno's attention made him.

While Sid couldn't believe Geno would sell him out like that, he knew it was meant in a good place. So, Sid would have to do something to get Geno back appropriately. Nothing too bad, but something that let Geno know that it was not ok just to sell him out to the team like that. 

From Geno's smirk in the showers, Geno could feel Sid's thought process. Which now made it a challenge for Sid to prank Geno. This was the game they had been playing for years, and Sid was looking forward to it. 

Sid was grateful that the reporters wouldn't be allowed into the room post-practice for another week. That meant he could be there with the boys and their post-practice chirping. 

When Sid finally got washed off and returned to his stall, the trainer's assistant and Jen entered the room. 

Immediately the loud, boisterous chatter of the boys' post-practice died off as attention turned to the pair. When Jen came into the locker room - one of them had media, and they wouldn't be able to fight it. Her people only called her in when they needed the big guns. 

"Sid," the trainer said in an odd tone; Anthony, Sid remembered, Tag's assistant was Charlie. That's right. "Can you come with us?" 

Sid didn't even wait, "Is it about the kids?" 

Anthony hesitated a weird expression on his face. 

However, Jen didn't pause. "Yes. Can you come?" she said firmly. Her ability to hold an even expression is one of the reasons she was so damn good at her job, but around her eyes, there was a hint of disbelief and shock. 

Sid didn't think most of the team could see that except him, Tanger, and Geno. The ones who had been with her the longest. 

The sudden pit in his stomach was growing with each passing word. Something was up. 

God, he hoped he wasn't right, 

"Just let me get dressed," Sid said, rapidly reaching for his street clothes.

"Come on, G, you know you want to make a kid's day," Tanger called from across the room, sounding unaffected in a way that belied how his eyes were worried. He was mostly dressed and fixing his hair. 

Geno laughed, nearly genuine – if someone hadn't been with the man damn near daily since they had been teenagers, like Sid, Tanger, or even Jen had been, "Yes. Make day; see me!" 

That broke the team's silence. The rest of the team fell back into the regular routine of getting ready for lunch and video review; Sid sped through getting dressed. There was an odd atmosphere to the chirping and yelling. Everyone on the team saw something was up and followed Sid's leadership in acting normally. 

Jen didn't protest, but Anthony looked like he might. Most of the team missed Jen's slight nod but not the core. 

Sid was officially weirded out by this and had to know what was happening. 

Tanger and Geno flanked him as they followed Jen and Anthony into a trainer's room just off the practice ice. Sid had been in the room several times; it wasn't the principal trainer's room in the practice rink – closer to the locker room – but it was smaller but fully stocked. 

It usually wasn't occupied by two kids, and a woman Sid had never seen before but had a badge around her neck with Child Welfare Services written on it and her name directly underneath, Helena. 

Sid opened his mouth to greet the kids in a standard meet and greet, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the boy's baby fat or the way he stood as he met Sid's gaze and steeled himself, but the kid looked just like Sid did in the photos and videos of interviews from when he was young. 

Tanger and Geno filtered into the room as Sid stepped through. It was crowded in the small office now, but by the stern look the CWS rep gave him, something more important than fire codes or sitting places was up. 

"Sid," Jen said, then paused, seemingly unable to find the words. 

Charlie took over. "Sid, this is Michael Hernandez and his sister Marisol Hernandez-Diaz." He gestured to the boy and the little girl. 

"Hello, Michael. Hi, Marisol." Sid said, finally putting on his 'meet and greet with kids' face. He likes kids, and it was close to the genuine smile any of his media smiles got. 

Michael didn't respond beyond just staring at Sid, but that sometimes happens, so Sid chose not to worry too much. 

His sister waved a hand excitedly in the air. "Hola!" she sang out, taking her attention away from her brother for a moment. There was a Spanish accent to her words. Whomever her parents were, they were teaching her to be bilingual. 

Sid offered her a hand to shake. And she took with delight, her smile bright and wide. 

"Mike! Water p'r favor." she asked when she looked away from Sid. 

Her question shook Michael from his staring, “Claro, Mari, aquí está tu taza,” he said in Spanish. He held out the blue shaker bottle. Marisol took it carefully and didn't spill anything as she drank. 

Sid didn't understand the words, but he did understand the motions. He watched them interact with a deep longing that he didn't expect. Sid pushed the smile on his face a little harder. He would not mess this up for the kids just because he wanted to be a father. 

"Sid," Jen said again. 

Sid turned, and Jen gestured to the chair next to her. "You might want to sit down for this." 

Sid raised an eyebrow but made no move to the chair, choosing to remain standing. "What's up?" he wasn't injured. So why had she asked?

"Michael here," Jen said bluntly, "He thinks you are his biological father." 

Sid hadn't fainted in years, not since the worst of the concussion, but he came damn close. 

He stumbled and nearly collapsed into the chair that Jen pointed out. 

Behind him, Tanger and Geno hurried forward to flank him in the chair. Geno put a hand on his solder to keep Sid from leaning too far forward. 

Michael was watching him react. He was staring at Sid with an expression that Sid could read, mainly because it was a Forbes expression from the bones. Literally. He had Sid's cheek and pre-surgery jaw. Hope and fear. Like he didn't know how he would survive if he got what he wanted, good and bad. 

The last time he had seen that expression, his sister had told him of the college she was going to for hockey. It came from his mother's side of the family. 

And Michael looked just like him. 

But also, Sid's eyes were staring back at him with that expression. 

Oh. 

Oh shit.

[robneyer-blog]

Return of the TRACERS...

So, I’ve been investigating old, somewhat far-fetched baseball stories for 35 years.

That’s a long time, huh.

I began in 1989, shortly after I started working for Bill James. We didn’t have Retrosheet or Baseball-Reference.com in 1989. So I spent many dozens of hours with my nose buried in scratchy microfilm of old newspapers. Some years later I wrote a whole book of my own, tracking down a bunch more old stories. This was easier, since by then we did have Baseball-Reference.com and Retrosheet.

That book came out nearly 16 years ago, and I haven’t researched a single story since then (that I can recall, anyway). But there’s an endless supply of the things, and I do run across them during my recreational reading. I suppose it was just a matter of time until I got the yen, again.

Just recently I discovered that Ralph Terry wrote an autobiography, which was published in 2016 (Terry passed away in 2022). I pay fairly close attention to these things, but so many old ballplayers publish books with small publishers that it’s easy to miss them. Anyway, I found a cheap used copy and ordered it.

Terry’s book is pretty good, better than most in the genre. There’s a lot of padding—generous leading and a huge number of photos sprinkled throughout—and this 243-page book could have been easily formatted within 180 or so. So despite the page count, it’s a short book … and also engagingly written (presumably thanks to co-author John Wooley), so I finished reading the morning after I started.

In many ways, Ralph Terry was your typical MLB pitcher: blessed with tremendous athletic talent, excelled in multiple sports over the years, married a beautiful stewardess, and fought with management over money. But he also took college classes during his off-seasons for a number of years, and how many other ex-ballplayers have referenced Carl Jung and Alfred Adler in their memoirs?

Terry started his career with the Yankees, but before long was traded to the Kansas City A’s. That led him to off-season classes at University of Kansas City (soon to become University of Missouri—Kansas City). There, a couple of professors, Neil Warshay and Bob Neal, cut Terry some slack because … well, because he was a ballplayer and they were fans. Terry:

In 1960, after I was back with the Yankees, we were coming into Kansas City to play the A’s early in the season, and I told Casey about my two professors. “They’re big baseball fans,” I said, “and they’d love to meet you, especially since you’re one of their grads.” “Okay,” Casey told me. “Have them meet me up at the clubhouse about 4:30, before batting practice.” The visitor’s clubhouse at Municipal Stadium was over behind third base. So I got hold of the two professors, and we met before going in to see Casey. As it turned out, Dr. Warshay had put together a lineup he thought Casey might want to see. The major difference was that he had Mickey batting second instead of third, which was his usual spot. The idea was that maybe he’d get an extra at-bat that way. Gil McDougald, our usual second-place hitter at the time, dropped to seventh in Dr. Warshay’s scheme. The rest of his lineup was fairly orthodox. We went in, and Casey regaled us with tales of the old days for a while. Then, I said to Casey, “Case, Neil here’s got a lineup that he thinks you ought to use." Only Casey could see my face, and I rolled my eyes as I spoke. “Is that right?” he asked. “Well, let’s see what you’ve got there, Neil.” Dr. Warshay reached in his pocket and pulled out this little slip of paper like it was the secret to the atomic bomb. He passed it on to Casey, who studied it for a few moments. “Say, that’s a great lineup,” he said. “I’ll use it tonight.” He did, too. In fact, he had Mickey batting second not only in our two games in [Kansas City’s] Municipal Stadium, but also against the Tigers and Orioles and Senators. And even though Mickey started out in his new spot going 0 for 18, Casey didn’t move him back down to third for good until early June.

In all of that, there’s one verifiable fact. I’ll get to that in a minute.

First, though: Did Mantle bat second in 1960? And would this have been notable and unusual?

Yes, yes, and yes.

As a rookie in 1951, Mantle batted second 20 times, mostly in the latter half of May and then a few times in August and September after being recalled from Kansas City.

In 1952, he made eight scattered appearances as the #2 hitter in the lineup.

In 1953, none.

In 1954, once. With a .175 batting average in his first 11 games, Mantle batted second on the 1st of May. He singled once and struck out twice in four at-bats, the Yankees lost 10-2, and he batted almost exclusively third the rest of the season.

From 1955 through ’59, Mickey never batted second.

And then in 1960, he started 18 games in the #2 slot.

Did Mantle start batting second during a series in Kansas City?

He did not. He started batting second on May 12 in New York, against Cleveland.

Had the Yankees visited Kansas City before then, with Professor Warshay merely planting a seed in Stengel’s mind?

They had not. The Yankees had played only two road series, opening their season in Boston, and a bit later visiting Baltimore. The Yankees did host Kansas City just a few days before the Cleveland series, May 6 and 7. So it’s possible that Terry’s academic friends visited New York and met with Stengel then. It doesn’t match Terry’s recollection but it’s … possible.

Did Mantle start out 0 for 18 as the #2 hitter?

He did not. He started out 3 for 18 with five walks; the three hits were a triple and two home runs.

Overall, in 18 games as the Yankees’ #2 hitter, Mantle batted just .188 but his OBP (.388) and Slugging (.557) matched almost exactly his season percentages.

Okay, here’s the verifiable fact I promised before: as Terry recalled, Stengel did move Mantle back to third, for good, in early June.

In a doubleheader against Washington on the 30th, Hector López started both games in the #2 slot, with Mantle third. On May 31 and June 1 in Baltimore, Mantle again batted second. The Yankees lost both games. López went back in the second slot on June 2, and Mantle almost never batted second again in his career (not counting pinch-hitting jobs). From 1961 through ’63 he batted cleanup; Stengel was gone, of course, replaced by the far less creative Ralph Houk. In ’64 he batted fourth and third; in ’65, third and fourth; and from ’66 through ’68 he nearly always batted third.

Okay, this isn’t so tidy as all that. In the middle of the ’68 season, for some reason Mantle and Roy White swapped lineup slots for eight games, Mickey batting second and White third. In 33 plate appearances, Mantle’s output consisted of six walks and three singles, and that was the end of that experiment.

As I said, Mantle batting second was notable. Here's Joseph Sheehan writing in the Times the morning after Mickey was going to start batting second:

Before the washout was announced, Manager Casey Stengel caused a stir by posting a revised Yankee batting order that listed Mickey Mantle in second place. Any Yankee is likely to bob up anywhere in a Stengel batting order, but rarely has the slugging Mantle been located elsewhere than in the preferred “power” positions: third, fourth, or fifth. The complete order read as follows: Tony Kubek, Mantle, Yogi Berra, Roger Maris, Bill Skowron, Elston Howard, Gil McDougald, Bobby Richardson and [pitcher] Duke Maas. As usual, Stengel had a ready explanation. “I made these changes for three reasons, as follows,” he began—and proceeded to list about thirty-three. Boiled down, Casey’s idea was to move all his best hitters as high as possible to increase the chances of “them getting those extra times at bat that win close games like we’ve been losing too many of lately.”

At that moment, the Yankees were 10-7 on the season. They’d just lost two straight games, 8-3 and 5-1. A couple of weeks earlier, they’d lost three straight by a combined four runs. Which must have been frustrating for Stengel, but doesn’t seem like something that would motivate a notable lineup change two weeks later.

Nevertheless, on May 12 Stengel went with that new lineup and stuck with it for five games. Afterward he moved around the guys in the middle, but kept Kubek and Mantle at the top, McDougald and Richardson at the bottom for 16 straight games, through the 29th.

The idea of getting more plate appearances for your best hitters would not have been foreign to Stengel. Back in 1956, Pirates manager Bobby Bragan wrote down a lineup that “defied every known law of the game… Bragan reasoned baseball lineups have conformed to the tradition of the days of the dead ball and now are archaic in the modern era. He’s been thinking of using his power at the top of the order, putting some men with strength at the bottom and placing the pitcher seventh.”

“My idea,” Bragan said, “is to have the best batter leading off, since he comes to bat more often. Thus the second best batter is second, third best batter third, and so on. The pitcher bats seventh because the eighth and ninth batters have a better chance of getting on base when the top of the order comes up.”

Bragan’s creativity and daring was admirable. It’s not clear that he thought everything through, though. For example, he initially made Frank Thomas his leadoff man, and on balance Thomas was probably just his second best hitter (behind Dale Long; this was a couple of years before Clemente hit his stride). More to the point, making small adjustments to the lineup creates minute changes in run production, while moving the pitcher to #7 means a significant increase in the number of at-bats for the pitchers.

Which doesn’t mean it was a bad idea. But Bragan didn’t have the analytical tools to really test his theory. He was mostly guessing, and after two weeks of batting his pitchers seventh and Bill Mazeroski ninth, he went back to the old-fashioned way. A decade later, he managed the Milwaukee Braves and never batted his pitchers seventh or Henry Aaron leadoff. He did pencil Eddie Mathews into the leadoff slot for a few goodly chunks of the 1964 schedule. So at least part of the dream did survive. Later Bragan reportedly said, "My biggest fault was that I didn't experiment enough."

Finally, a few more words about Terry’s book. As I said, I enjoyed it. But there’s a story later in the book about his salary negotiations with the Yankees after his tremendous 1962 season, and the details are just outlandish. What I think happened was that Terry got his years mixed up, describing the negotiations for maybe his 1959 contract rather than 1963? There’s simply no way that he earned only $10,000 (as he reports) after a ’62 season in which he went 23-12 with a 3.19 ERA and won Game 7 of the World Series.

Which does make me wonder about the other stories in the book.

[denimbex1986]

'Move over Matt Damon, Andrew Scott is stepping in as Tom Ripley in a new eight-episode TV adaptation of The Talented Mr Ripley. Now, we know reboots are everywhere but, come on, it's Andrew Scott! Anthony Minghella helmed the sublime 1999 adaptation to sun-dappled perfection, but who's to say another version on the small screen can't be just as seductive?

Here's everything we know about Ripley so far.

Is there a trailer for Ripley?

Ripley? Ripley.

Netflix's first official teaser for Ripley doesn't give a whole lot away, but then again, neither does its titular character. The moody and monochromatic series is fittingly ominous in its first look, as we see Scott's Tom Ripley seemingly evade justice for his many, many schemes. The trailer also gives us glimpses of some of the show's co-stars, including Dakota Fanning, Johnny Flynn and John Malkovich. Beyond knowing the story from the book and the 90s film starring Jude Law and Matt Damon, the trailer keeps much of Ripley's plot close to the chest. But, again, that seems quite fitting.

Ahead of the trailer release, Netflix also dropped some new images of Andrew Scott looking suitably pensive and mysterious as the enigmatic Ripley as he broods in black and white across Italy.

When is Ripley coming out?

It's been a long and winding road to get the story of Tom Ripley to the small screen. Having first been announced in 2021 and filming in Italy that same year, it's since bounced around from Showtime to Netflix. At a certain point, Andrew Scott didn't even know when it would come out.

But now, along with its first teaser trailer, Netflix has announced that Ripley will hit screens on 4 April. Springtime is for scamming, after all.

What’s Ripley about?

Based on Patricia Highsmith's novel, The Talented Mr Ripley, the series follows “Tom Ripley, a grifter scraping by in early 1960s New York” who “is hired by a wealthy man to travel to Italy to try to convince his vagabond son to return home.” That son is Dickie Greenleaf, and their odd friendship spirals into, among other things, incidents of deceit and murder. All set against the stunning backdrop of the Italian Riviera, of course. No wonder the book has been adapted so many times.

Scott has also hinted that the series will cover some of the subtextual queer themes of Highsmith's text. In a conversation with Ben Whishaw, he said:

“If Tom Ripley was in a gay bar, I’m not sure that he would fit in there. Nor do I think he’s a straight character. I think he’s a queer character, in the sense that he’s very ‘other.’ What’s his relationship with sex, or death, or with family or friends? It’s interesting that a character is the sum of the parts that you don’t have to play.”

Should this show get greenlit for more seasons though, we could potentially see adaptations of the other novels in the Ripley series. The second book, Ripley Under Ground had a film version with Willem Dafoe and Alan Cumming that, apparently, no one saw. And Dennis Hopper and John Malkovich played Tom Ripley in two film adaptations of the third novel, Ripley's Game.

Who stars in Ripley?

First, of course, we have Andrew Scott as Tom Ripley. Considering his past roles in Fleabag and the Oscar-buzzy All of Us Strangers, the actor certainly has the charisma for the part.

He’ll be joined by Johnny Flynn as Dickie Greenleaf (the playboy heir Ripley swindles) and Dakota Fanning as Dickie’s girlfriend, Marge Sherwood. And now, thanks to the trailer, we know that John Malkovich – a former Ripley, from 2002's Ripley's Game – will also be joining the monochrome world of the Netflix series.'

[still-writingfrommycorner]

outlet

Hi blog,

Been a while. Going by my last actual written entry here, it has been 4 years since I cared or had time to lay down my feelings and experiences in their most raw. No editing here, for a change - yay!

A quick summary to catch you up, 'cause the last few years have been quite full.

Got married

Had a baby

Landed a new Sydney-based job

Enjoyed working with Australian and NZ brands with said Sydney-based company

Got into a near-fatal car accident right outside our home

Left Sydney-based job and took two months off to recalibrate (didn't realize how badly I needed it until I was fully immersed in it -- highly recommend if you were born in the '90s like me and went to work right after college grad haha)

Did a short freelancing stint with a NY-based Filipino lifestyle brand (thanks to a generous mentor who did the introduction)

Let freelancing stint go as I got more serious with my full-time job applications

Went on a fun family trip to Bohol just in time for Chunky's 2nd birthday

Started a new work-from-anywhere job with one of the best digital agencies I've come across (funnily enough, first "worked" with them when I was still with Summit -- felt like a foreshadowing haha)

So... that's the past 4 years as a list. What's not seen are the many breakdowns and breakthroughs, coffees and matcha lattes, crippling anxieties and thank-you-universe moments of happiness that I went through, paid for, and lived through.

TBH, today's writing prompt was a personal low point. It's been a tough several weeks or month, really. And yesterday, it all just came to a boil. I've been thinking about journaling the past few months, and today I just couldn't fight the urge anymore. I just need an outlet or maybe coping mechanism would be more accurate. I've tried a lot at this point: looking at my zodiac readings (lol), curating crystals (can confirm they work haha), downloading cat games, downloading "soothing" games, retail therapy (too easy to get carried away with this), and going to the gym. But this - writing and talking to the void where I feel unknown in the best possible way - will always be the most natural for me.

I promise to be back. Even these last few minutes of just typing away my thoughts almost as soon as they came to me has brought me immense comfort. Let's work towards this bringing me joy.

Note: Funny story about this book. Badly wanted this and my then-boyfriend, now-husband bought it for me for Christmas. Was only about a quarter of the way through reading when life took over and I had to pause. Lent it to a friend who, 'til now, has not returned it yet. hahaha I see her semi-regularly, must remember to ask for it back next time.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

KEVIN ‘KEV’ TANAKA (IDW GHOSTBUSTERS COMICS)

@moonbeamelf @bixiebeet @spengnitzed @professorlehnsherr-almashy @angelixgutz @amalthea9​

“Kevin Tanaka (also known as Kev)  is the latest member of the Ghostbusters' New York branch support staff. Kevin is visually based on Ghostbusters Wiki administrator User:Mrmichaelt and his name  name appears to be a nod to the male secretary of the same first name in the 2016 movie Ghostbusters: Answer the Call.”

“It's no secret that you love the ongoing IDW Ghostbusters series. What elements are you looking forward to continuing in the next year or two? What are your feelings on Kevin Tanaka?

It has its moments. I'm really conflicted about what I want to see. On one hand, I'm very eager to see the Ghostbusters go up against these Predators that Tiamat talked about in the Crossing Over maxi-series and will Ray figure out a way to safely remove Jenny Moran from the Containment Unit? I'm wondering if 2021 is finally the year Erik Burnham fulfills a promise to Dan to do a Christmas annual featuring Krampus. Or will Chi-You, Rodefhiri or the Sandman return to exact revenge? Could there be surprise returns by gods like Hel or Aibell, could be. Will Special Agent Holtzmann finally make her debut? And last but not least, there's my, I guess, unhealthy love for the Chicago Ghostbusters. I'm always down to see more of them. Of course, there's the white elephant in the room with Afterlife. I wouldn't object to seeing the comic integrate the gunner seat into Ecto-1. I can see Ray doing it just because it would be fun, not for any strategic reasons during a bust on the go.

On the other hand, I ended up really loving the Year One mini-series after some initial concerns that it could be too revisionist and hurt the movie canon. That anecdote of when Ray and Egon first met was really special and is in my top 3 favorite moments of the overall comic series since Erik took over as the writer. I'd kill to see more of Year One as there's so many other things they could explore in year one. They only explored the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the surge in calls they dealt with after catching Slimer. They could go explore when Peter and Ray first met. They could do a longer Janine story similar to Winston's issue and expanding on that 2 parter in Volume 2. Heck, they could do a Year Six or Seven mini-series set during/after the events of Ghostbusters II. They could do a Year Nine about the IDW canon's version of Ghostbusters: The Video Game. The possibilities are endless. Year One also satisfied my hope to see the series get back to basics so to speak and get away from the crossovers. I get the crossovers are IDW's bread and butter and they've saved the Ghostbusters comics over the years but I was burnt out on them and no real desire to see another one even though it's been almost a year since the finale of the most recent one, the Transformers one (sorry Erik!).

Kevin. Tanaka. Y'know, I still can't believe that happened. I'm just some dude that spends way too much time on a wiki. To be acknowledged like that and become a part of canon is both humbling and mind boggling. I didn't know that was going to happen. It was a complete surprise. Dan just asked me for a reference photo out of the blue. I figured I would be for a hard to see face in a crowd. Then Ghostbusters International #3 was about to come out. You [Devilmanozzy] sent me an email while you were going over the preview pages. I was intrigued and wanted to know what you were being so cryptic about. I got a panel! And Ghostbusters International #4 came out and I think my soul left its body temporarily when it was apparent Kevin would be a recurring character. I love Kevin, but he's an ideal version of me at best. It's scary how close his dialogue is to how I talk. I never told Erik this. But in that issue when he meets the ATC team and Erin flips out on Kevin and Kevin quips he gets by, I had a very similar experience of being mistaken for a different Michael but in a bar really close to when that issue came out in stores and I was weirded out. Or Dan, he only had like two reference photos of me and it was amazing yet again scary how close he got to making Kevin look like me. Not even considering my connection to Kevin, the backstory of his handicap and firefighter family was really intriguing. His love of Boston sports not so much.

(...)

I'd never beg Erik for it, but it would be cool if someday PCOC signs off on letting Kevin use the ghostbusting equipment. More so since Janine is now part of the machine.”

[fortunawren]

lyrics v;

Last little meditation practice before I get back to the serious writings.

"Cleopatra" by The Lumineers

This song is based on a true story, and has so many beautiful quotes which is why it's so popular. It's about coming to terms with the one that got away. I found this song on TikTok a few years ago, and it helped me get through heavy loss. It's kind of a peaceful acceptance of just being wrong, and I love it.

Don't let the upbeat music fool you. It's actually the saddest story I've ever heard. Also, who proposes when someone's in mourning?

Still,

*"And I left the footprints, the mud stained on the carpet And it hardened like my heart did when you left town But I must admit it, that I would marry you in an instant Damn your wife, I'd be your mistress just to have you around

But I was late for this, late for that, late for the love of my life And when I die alone, when I die alone, when I die I'll be on time

While the church discouraged, any lust that burned within me Yes my flesh, it was my currency, but I held true So I drive a taxi, and the traffic distracts me From the strangers in my backseat, they remind me of you."*

How tragic, and how beautiful.

"All Too Well (10 Minute Version)" by Taylor Swift

I will sit and listen to the 10 minute version of this song over and over. I cried to the original, and I cry to this one too when nostalgia gets me. Mainly because when she says,

"You never called it what it was 'Til we were dead and gone and buried Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same After three months in the grave And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you But all I felt was shame And you held my lifeless frame"

And then,

"They say all's well that ends well But I'm in a new hell every time You double-cross my mind You said if we had been closer in age Maybe it would've been fine And that made me want to die The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel Whose shine reflects on you Not weepin' in a party bathroom Some actress askin' me what happened: You That's what happened: You."

I wish she had released this song sooner because I probably would have found clarity sooner. Jake Gyllenhaal needs to return Taylor's Gucci scarf. Although, I think there's a rumor that the scarf is a metaphor for something far more precious.

Last one,

"And I was never good at tellin' jokes, but the punch line goes I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you too? 'Cause in this city's barren cold I still remember the first fall of snow And how it glistened as it fell I remember it all too well."

In my defense, it was a 10 minute long song.

"Strawberries & Cigarettes" by Troye Sivan

I've been avoiding this song all week but it's been on my shuffle repeatedly out of thousands of songs. This song is what I imagine innocent first love feels like, or the beginning of catching feelings or trying something brand new. I posted on my socials this quote about 4-5 years ago, and it's still my favorite line.

"Remember when you taught me fate Said it'd all be worth the wait Like that night in the back of the cab When your fingers walked in my hand Next day, nothin' on my phone But I can still smell you on my clothes Always hoping things would change But we went right back to your games Long nights, daydreams Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you."

"Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne

Sometimes I'm scared I listened to this song so many times when I was a teenager that I manifested it into reality. I've been Avril Lavigne emo since "My Happy Ending" was on the music video on-demand channels and she was spinning around in that tutu. I ended up getting one as well because I was obsessed.

Of course, attention has to be drawn to these words,

"I miss you Miss you so bad I don't forget you Oh, it's so sad I hope you can hear me I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same."

"Ride" by Lana Del Rey

This song is on my sex playlist. You've got to have at least one Lana Del Rey song on your playlist if you're a romantic, and I'm a certified lover girl apparently. I fell in love with this song when Spencer and Tobey were in that motel room. The real ones know what I'm talking about.

Lana Del Rey is my favorite poet, and if you haven't read her debut poetry book, you're severely missing out. The audio of it is in my T.B.B. vinyl cart.

These lyrics,

"I've been out on that open road You can be my full time, daddy, white and gold Singing blues has been getting old You can be my full time, baby Hot or cold Don't break me down (don't break me down) I've been travelin' too long (I've been travelin' too long) I've been trying too hard (I've been trying too hard) With one pretty song (with one pretty song) I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast I am alone at midnight Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I I've got a war in my mind So, I just ride Just ride, I just ride, I just ride."

are absolutely poetry.

She's essentially my god.

Obviously.

"play this when i'm gone" by Machine Gun Kelly

This is actually Machine Gun Kelly's suicide letter that he addressed to his daughter. A lot of people have doubts about the style in which it was written, but he's a songwriter which is adjacent to a poet. Of course his suicide letter would read like a song. Oddly enough, this song brought me a lot of comfort because it helped me understand the other side to the story of drug use and depression. I desperately couldn't at the time, and it really soothed something in me.

It's probably inappropriate to pick a favorite line out of a suicide letter, but we quote Sylvia Plath all the time:

"I'm 29, my anxiety's eating me alive I'm fightin' with myself and my sobriety every night And last time I couldn't barely open up my eyes, I apologize I'm not gonna lie and tell you it's alright, it's alright You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright I wrote you this song to keep when I'm gone If you ever feel alone You're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright, it's alright I hope you get to go to all the places that I showed you When I was on the road and couldn't be home to hold you Part of me doesn't want this cruel world to know you So just try and keep in mind everything that I told you."

"Ahora Dice - Real Hasta La Muerte Remix" by Chris Vedia, J Balvin, Ozuna, Cardi B, Offset, Anuel, Arcangel

I can't speak Spanish although I've looked at the translation of these lyrics before. I'm a huge Cardi B fan, which is how I came across this song in the first place. It has a fantastic beat and I just love listening to it.

Cardi B says,

"And-and you know that I'm the baddest Cartier glasses, Fendi fabric And I'm years away from basic And I'm miles away from average, but One thing ain't adding up to me How you gon' mess with a bitch that look up to me? Off'"

Off is an introduction to her current husband, Offset. They actually recorded this song before they were in a relationship, and before Offset actually cheated on Cardi B, which blows my mind entirely.

"Male Fantasy" by Billie Eilish

As someone that struggles with gender roles, and my sexuality, and really navigating southern culture with my unconventional approach to life, this song felt like validation for everything that I was feeling.

These words,

"Home alone, tryin' not to eat Distract myself with pornography I hate the way she looks at me I can't stand the dialogue, she would never be That satisfied, it's a male fantasy I'm going back to therapy 'Cause I loved you then and I love you now And I don't know how Guess it's hard to know when nobody else comes around If I'm getting over you Or just pretending to Be alright, convince myself I hate you."

I could honestly drop all the lyrics because it's that beautiful of a song.

"Work Song" by Hozier

Another must on the sex playlist, absolutely. Hozier sings about women the way all women want to be sung about, and he writes his lovers like Shakespeare writes his lovers; flawed.

If your soul doesn't jolt when he says,

"Boys, when my baby found me I was three days on a drunken sin I woke with her walls around me Nothin' in her room but an empty crib And I was burnin' up a fever I didn't care much how long I lived But I swear I thought I dreamed her She never asked me once about the wrong I did When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her."

then I don't know what to tell you because it's a borderline religious experience. That's why the girlies say Hozier was written by a woman.

"Lover" by Taylor Swift

Part of my grad school application asked me to cite my favorite artist/marketer in an essay, and I chose Taylor Allison Swift. R.I.P. her relationship to Joe Alwyn. Her song "invisible string" really had me thinking that true love existed, but the jury is still out.

Until then, Taylor's vow to her lover,

"Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover."

Absolutely beautiful.

"Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee

My dad went through a Seether phase after his second divorce, and I've always been an Evanescence fan ever since my childhood friend's older sister leant us 'Fallen'. I always thought this was such a sad song because their relationship didn't last.

She says,

"The worst is over now and we can breathe again I want to hold you high, and steal my pain away There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight I want to hold you high and steal your pain 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open And I don't feel like I am strong enough 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel right when you're gone away."

"Money" by Cardi B

I really am a huge Cardi B fan, and I overplay this song to make me feel better about the odds that I'm going to die alone, but I always smile when I hear her say,

"Sweet like a honey bun, spit like a Tommy gun Rollie a one of one, come get your mommy some Cardi at the tip-top, bitch Kiss the ring and kick rocks, sis."

"Moments" by Tove Lo

I'm obsessed with Tove Lo as well. She's in my top five artists of all time, and "Moments" has a really beautiful message. I watched her sing in the acoustic version of this song while a couple on LSD tripped in front of me. 10/10 wonderful experience.

"I'm not the prettiest you've ever seen But I have my moments, I have my moments Not the flawless one, I've never been But I have my moments, I have my moments I can get a little drunk, I get into all the don'ts But on good days I am charming as fuck I can get a little drunk, I get into all the don'ts But on good days I am charming as fuck Rough around the edges, memories and baggage You know me Never play the safe card, when I go I go hard Now you know."

"Savior Complex" by Phoebe Bridgers

See, this is one of those songs where I highly relate so I usually skip it. I only really listen to it all the way through when I'm being honest with myself, which is rarely. I'm going to quote a big portion of this song because it's fairly short.

"Wake up and start a big fire In our one room apartment But I'm too tired To have a pissing contest All the bad dreams that you hide Show me yours, I'll show you mine Call me when you land I'll drive around again One hand on the wheel, one in your mouth Turn me on and turn me down Baby, you're a vampire You want blood and I promised I'm a bad liar With a savior complex All the skeletons you hide Show me yours, and I'll show you mine."

"Sandcastles" by Beyonce

To date, I think this is one of her saddest songs next to "Heaven" although it is a love song. Beyonce sings,

"We built sandcastles that washed away I made you cry when I walked away Oh, and although I promised that I couldn't stay, baby Every promise don't work out that way, oh, babe Every promise don't work out that way."

So, even though she said that she was leaving, ultimately it didn't work out that way. I've honestly never dove deep into these lyrics before so this is kind of interesting.

"Miss You More" by Katy Perry

This song is toxic, but arguably, love itself is just a little toxic which is why its likened to war. Please don't take that as a sign to engage in abusive behaviors. There's a difference between the two.

"Saw a balloon floating away I thought, "did someone let go, or did they lose it?" So strange, you know all my secrets Please keep them safe And darling, you know I'll do the same (You know I'll do the same) Though we're no longer in existence Baby, you'll always be in my orbit I miss you more than I loved you."

Honestly, this song will probably make you depressed if you listen to it because I'm heading down that route.

"Cage On The Ground" by Flyleaf

This is a nice reprieve from all the bullshit love songs. Just kidding, I love them. Flyleaf is a Christian Rock Band, but they've always brought it. Lacey will always have my heart. I honestly took this song to heart as I have famous aspirations. I feel like it's teaching a valuable lesson.

These lyrics,

"Welcome to the machine It's a currency generator And then it's a guillotine A mirror held up to your own behaviour I'm gonna take my bow And disappear into the sound I'm leaving my cage on the ground When I take my bow I'm watching it burn to the ground See my feet flying up through the clouds When they distinguish your name It may extinguish your flame."

Honestly, take it to heart. It's true, and we see it time and time again through our modern sensationalist media. There's an over-crowd for love and appreciation, and then the mob turns against the new idol as they cannot, and will not ever meet the requirements of their projections of a god-like being. It's an endless cycle.

"Brain & Heart" by Melanie Martinez

This song is for the soft-hearts that want to be rational more than anything in the world. Love and matters of the heart are the most blinding things in the world. That's why families get away with hurting each other so long because it's all love, and all hate at the same time. Just listen to her when she says,

"When did humans start to separate Brain and heart as if they could stay alive alone? Flip it around the other way If they were apart and you had no power start or no database Only a shell remains What fun is it, to be so calculated Or be taken advantage of, 'cause your heart's too trusting Silent expressed push my head into my chest Bind them up, forever wed "Don't drift too far, " they said."