#I see what they were going for the whole film is closely tied to religion but the root of the tree thingy was a bit much 😭

[whistlesanbells]

Community Headcanons

Just a random list of headcanons I have, organized by character (feat. A lot of Britta x Annie)

Jeff

I saw someone mention that Jeff might have an ED, and given what we see with his relationship with food, and how he is willing to go as far as to hurt himself to be the best at something (in this case be the best looking) it makes a lot of sense.

A lot of people headcanon Jeff as bi but honestly I just take him as cishet. He has many many issues but I don’t think sexuality is one of them, because half his personality is his attraction to every woman that breathes lmao

Exudes top energy but really the minute someone else tops him, he gets insecure for a bit but ends up really liking it.

Britta

Raging bisexual. I feel like she’s known for a long time, but never told the group because it would just be another thing for them to poke fun of about her.

In the same vein, I believe Britta’s parents were very homophobic, and that’s why she cut ties. I think she came out to them at a younger age and it was messy. It would make sense that she would refuse to tell the group why she didn’t get along with her parents: because she wasn’t ready to come out to the group yet. Instead it gets framed as her just rebelling for no reason.

We hear almost nothing about Britta’s past, except for a few offhand comments about a dinosaur-related trauma. Britta is incredibly quick to deny talking about her past, which led me to believe that she has some kind of trauma. Personally, I believe she was r*ped in her childhood, which would explain her extra effort to comfort troy when he lied about it. It would also explain why she is so fervently for women’s rights, especially when it has to do with bodily autonomy.

Dyslexic!Britta makes so much sense to me, because her parents were likely unsupportive, so she didn’t get much help or accommodations in school at a young age. This probably led to her habit of going out of her way to do poorly in a class so it looks like she’s just not trying, so she doesn’t have to face the reality that she never developed good study habits and she would have a lot of trouble in school even if she tried. Even though she doesn’t do well in school, she’s really smart, she’s just not great at articulating her points :))

She was a tomboy in elementary school before it was considered socially acceptable, and she was bullied ruthlessly for it. In her true, “stick it to the man” fashion, she never grew out of it.

Britta is terrified of Annie finding out that she won’t do well in school even if she DOES try, because she’s afraid Annie will lose respect for her.

Annie was the only one in the group she came out to, because she trusted her to keep a secret and not to judge. Annie asks her a LOT of questions, but Britta puts up with it.

Acts like a top, is really a bottom.

She has a crush on Annie from 21st century romanticism on, but never expresses it because she doesn’t want to make Annie uncomfortable.

Troy

Gay lmao

I definitely feel like he had a crush on abed around end of season 3/ beginning of season 4, but it was unreciprocated.

Troy has an inherent sensitivity that makes him the heart of the show, but it took a while for him to feel comfortable with that. I feel like he had a lot of parental pressure to be perfectly straight and masculine, since he was raised under a strict religion.

Troy never wanted to be an athlete. I believe he wasn’t allowed to explore his interests because he demonstrated talent for sports at a young age, and that’s what he was pressured to do for the rest of his life.

Troy doesn’t always understand how Abed functions, but he is always accepting, supportive and understanding. Instead of trying to understand how his brain works, he memorized the patterns of what bothers him and what doesn’t, and uses that to help his friend in the best way he can. It’s super sweet :))

Abed

Aro/ace Abed rights!! I haven’t seen this one as much, but I really like it. I genuinely don’t think abed has much interest in relationships, which has absolutely nothing to do with being neurodivergent. I think he feels pressure from the group to date, because that’s what they think is “normal.”

I LOVE Annie and Abed’s friendship but I definitely don’t ship them. Sure, they kissed once, but she was attracted to Han Solo, not abed. Annie was attracted to dean when he was actually like Jeff too, but she DEFINITELY wasn’t attracted to dean lmao. Instead, I think they’re both really close because they’re both neurodivergent, and Annie understands him more than anyone else in the group, albeit not entirely. They also have a special handshake you can see at the end of season one :)

This isn’t a headcanon but it’s *technically* never stated in the show but Abed definitely has autism. l DO headcanon that Annie has his safe foods written down in a list because she’s the only one who knows how to cook in the apartment, and she knows it’s important to him.

Abed has all of his friends’ likes and dislikes memorized and written down, as well as their birthdays, as a result of psychoanalyzing them. He gives the best birthday gifts and never forgets.

Definitely was the ACB (creds to film theory on that one)

Shirley

I don’t have a lot of theories for Shirley, because we see a lot of her personal story in canon. However, I do believe that she wasn’t always such a devout Christian. I think she was raised with Christian ideals, but it wasn’t central to her personality until Andre cheated on her. After she went though a dark period of (likely) alcoholism, I like to think that’s when she turned to Christianity, and it gave her hope. She loves it so much because it genuinely did save her from a bad time in her life.

I think she is a big part of the reason why Troy, Abed, Britta, and Annie are afraid to come out to the group. They assume she would never see them in the same light, when truth be told, she would love them all the same. I think she would be uncomfortable at first, but either she would come to the realization or britta would convince her that it is inherently Christian to love everyone, no matter what. Her motherly instincts take precedence over her Christian ideals.

Shirley views Annie as the daughter she never had, but is very careful not to tell her for fear of hurting her feelings. She very much enjoys helping her navigate college and seeing her mature. She also loves all their girl talk since this is the aspect of parenting that she doesn’t get with three boys. In the same vein, she loved teaching Britta how to have friends who are girls, and she likes to think she played a part in raising her.

Pierce

I don’t like pierce enough to psychoanalyze him lmao

Annie (saddle up, this is gonna be long)

Lesbiannie, obviously. Annie’s romantic tendancies SCREAM compulsive heterosexuality. Annie’s relationships with men are always schoolgirl crushes, and she even admits to abed that she never really liked Jeff, she just liked the idea that he was available and willing to love her. It also makes sense that she can’t stand the idea of not being perfect in every way, including heterosexual (because she confirms that her parents are bigoted and that’s likely what she was taught). I think she would have a lot of internalized homophobia, and she would be very insecure about her sexuality, seeing how she acted during the STD fair.

I would love to think Annie also had her first ever real, I like this person for themselves and not just because they’re attainable crush on Britta. She always looked up to her because she was so cool and far less uptight than she was, but as they grew closer, she saw her in a different light. I ship them hardcore lmao.

Annie has ADHD!! I could talk for hours about this, mostly because I have very similar struggles to Annie’s canon character arc (minus the drugs lmao) and it’s mostly due to my adhd. Long story short, she was likely raised undiagnosed until she discovered it herself, which led to trying adderall and overdoing it because she was unsupervised. She was likely very insecure about her ADHD, which led her to overcompensating academically. Because she masked so much in academic settings, it’s likely she didn’t have much of a social life because that’s where her symptoms presented themselves more.

In addition being friends with abed has made her far more comfortable unmasking. If you watch her in studies in modern movement you can see her stimming (flapping her hands, rocking back and forth and swinging her arms) way more than usual. She normally fidgets by fiddling with her fingers by her waist and pulling her elbows tight to her sides in a position suspiciously similar to raptor arms. Not only is this a common and discreet way to fidget, it is easily passed off as good posture. This makes sense, as it is Annie’s trademark resting position.

Annie reads YA books and a LOT of fanfiction for fun. The group expects her to be more well versed in classic literature, but the girl just loves her some vampires. It’s where she learned a LOT of her....dnd tricks ;).

Top energy that Jeff never let her use DEFINITELY comes out with Britta.

She helps Britta study and teaches her all the study habits she had to learn, and Britta’s grades improve a little bit!!

Switched to pantsuits because of britta, I like to think she had some influence on that.

Lost interest in Jeff after Basic Sandwich

Knew that Abed was the ACB the whole time, she definitely had it figured out in that binder lmao

Anyways enjoy, just figured I’d write this down somewhere haha

[sardonic-courtney]

Crowley x Reader. We Met Before. P2/7

Summary: You end up living with Bobby after your parents die. You go to church and meet Priest Crowley and you end up getting along (if you know what i mean). A few years later when Bobby passes you move the the bunker with Sam and Dean and end up meeting Crowley again.

Part 1  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: Mention of loss, Spelling mistakes, Picture of gun (straight after keep reading), you go to church?

Around 1700 words.

Meeting:

(Around season 5 but not following story at all)

…the day before your 18th birthday. The day you can finally start training and helping on hunts. You fall asleep after the movie and wake up to your alarm reading 8.30am (Birthdate) Sunday. The day you had been waiting for. You could finally start training. Well after Sunday service, it was something your mother never failed to attend no matter what state she was hunting in and you kept that alive, even if you weren’t exactly sure how you felt about religion, but going helped you feel close to your mum again, and after hearing briefly about what the Winchesters had gone though it could be useful to learn a bit more. You got ready and headed to the kitchen where you met with Bobby.

“Happy Birthday kid” he said trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, even though he had woken up kinda early on a weekend.

“Hey, I’m 18 now, no longer a kid.” You smiled at him.

He shook his head in response chuckling as he grabbed an envelope with a box attached to it. When you received it you could see your name written messily on the envelope in a blue ink, you opened it and to no surprise was a card with (Your fav animal) wearing a hat, just like every year. You smiled and read the inscription inside. Then headed for the black box with a gold ribbon loosely tied around, Bobby had never been the best at bows, but you love the effort. Untying and opening the box you see a silver gun with carvings on, and a wooden handle with a pentacle carved. (Like below but you can change to preference)

“I know it's not much, but it was your dad’s, the boys found it when they…” he trailed of for a second. “when they were searching the nest, I thought it was the best time to give it to you, seeing as you’re so god damned persistent on training.”

“I love it Bobby, thank you so much” You gently lay it on the table and encase him in a hug, which he allows for a few seconds”

“Alright” He said patting your back and stepping away, “just because you have a gun doesn’t mean you are ready to hunt though. Understood?”

“Yeah I know” you reply trying not to laugh at his stern expression.

“Right well there’s some (f/f) if your hungry” he said moving to reveal a plate behind him.

“Oh my gosh you didn’t have to” You say looking at the counter with a neatly plated breakfast. You grabbed it and sat down enjoying the change from the usual cereal or toast, and with a mouth half full asked. “When can I start?”

“Lunch time. We will start with some basics ways to hunt and defend yourself.”

You were about to speak when he interrupted guessing your thoughts.

“You won’t be going on any hunts anytime soon until you are 100% ready. You can help out with some of the research though”

You rolled your eyes, as if you didn’t already help with the research. You finished your food and said your goodbyes, Bobby probably heading back to bed for a nap, you left heading for church to see Priest Peter. He was a nice priest and you got to know him a bit with the visits you made.

You were stood outside the church on time at 9:30 when you friend Lena came up and you started heading in. Lena was lovely, you had met at your first church service and continues to go together ever since. You didn’t really see each other outside, but you grew close nonetheless. She was only a year older than you but sometimes it seemed like she was half her age. She like the rest of people outside your small family didn’t know it was your birthday, and you liked that.

“So (Y/N), did you hear Priest Peters gone away for a while?” she spoke grinning at you, unlike you she didn’t like Peter, said his voice made her want to sleep.

“What, how come? I didn’t hear anything” you replied completely confused.

“Yep, No one knows for sure, but I think it's something about a family member getting married in Australia.”

“So, do we have Marcus today then?” Marcus was as you called him jr Peter, he was still in training and followed Peter around like a lost dog.

“Must do” She replied smiling, she never said it but you could tell she liked Marus a lot more, you took your seats, you sat on the second row back always. It was good for the winter because it was next to a heater, and good for the summer because it was near an openable window. You and Lena sat and talked about pointless things until everyone had sat down and the service started.

The priest walked up, but it wasn’t Marcus or anyone you had ever seen before. It was a very attractive man. He had messy hair, and very short beard on his pale skin. He was slightly chubby and wearing the usual priest get up, but for some reason seemed slightly us of place. Your eyes were drawn to him, it was like you couldn’t look away.

“Good Morning. I am Father Crowley, and I will be covering for Peter whilst he is away at his sister’s wedding.” he spoke confirming Lenas rumor.

He had a beautiful English accent and managed to get everyone's attention without raising his voice. The service went on as usual, although you payed more attention to the man in front of you instead of his teachings of God. Before long, it was over, and you all got up to give blessings and mingle a bit before you were to go. After a while Lena had left having to go run an errand, and you were talking to an old woman you did the occasional job for who lived about 5 minutes away. Just as you finished your conversation and the women went out, your phone buzzed, and you pulled it out of your pocket. 10.45 am, and two new messages.

One from Sam “Morning (Y/N), Happy Birthday, hope you have a good day, me and Dean will try to visit soon, I found a book in the bunker library you will like.”

Another from Dean “Happy Birthday (N/N) good luck training today, have a good one. Me and Sammy will swing round in a couple weeks to check in and make sure Bobby’s not driving you too crazy. Be safe xx”

You smiled as you slid your phone away deciding to reply later. You had been close to the Winchesters after the accident, both becoming brothers to you, Dean was however much more protective of you then Sam was. You looked around and noticed you were the last to leave, as you turned towards the doors you noticed Father Crowley still stood there looking at you.

“Did you enjoy the service?” he asked casually walking over to you.

You hesitated a moment before replying with a simple “Yes”. You don’t know why but he made you feel slightly nervous, not in a bad way, but you couldn’t describe it. You noticed up close his eyes were a sort of green colour.

“Good, I’m new to holding services to be honest with you…”

“(Y/N)” you filled in the blank.

“(Y/N) what a lovely name. Do you always come to church (Y/N)?” He asked lingering on your name.

“Yes, Father every week” you replied composing yourself a little. “It seemed like you had done a thousand services before, I don’t think anyone noticed”

“Thank you, and please just call me Crowley, I’m not a big fan of the whole Father thing” he said smiling. “What were your thoughts on the passage read today?”

“I’m not sure. I think in some ways it………...but it seems a bit………” You gave your opinion and Crowley responded with a grin.

“I agree completely. Well I assume you will be here next week?”

“Yes, I will be, and you?”

“Peter will still be away so it will be me again for at least another 2 weeks. Would you perhaps like to meet up after service for coffee and discus some more of your views?”

“Sure, I would love to” you replied trying to hide your smile, “I better get going though, goodbye Crowley.”

“Until next time” he nodded as you left to go back home.

Meeting up next week? For coffee? You thought as you walked along the path. Okay (Y/N) don’t think to much into it, he just wants to talk about the service. Oh, why did I agree, I don’t want to sit and talk to a priest about the bible, although I do want to talk to this specific priest more. Why am I even worrying about it it’s not like it’s a date, can priests even date? I wouldn’t even want it to be, he seems nice and he is attractive, but if he can date he's probably already married he did seem a bit older. It's probably a group thing and he just invited me along to go with them, of course that makes sense.

You finally arrived though the front door and are greeted with the sound of yelling coming from in the house.

“…no, you idjit, you’re supposed to give them the second number if you want the FBI………. Just don’t mess up again your lucky I have common sense.” He put the phone down just as you walked in the room.

“What was that?” You asked sitting on a chair.

“The wheelers, giving out the wrong numbers again. Your back later than usual service run over?” He asked looking at his watch.

“No just stayed to chat a bit after, it was a new priest.”

“Ahh I see, well do you want to watch a film seeing as its your birthday we could go get some snacks and rent a movie?”

“No way, you’re not getting out of this one, you said we would train at noon, its 11:30. We can watch a film after.” You looked up at him and he frowned.

“I don’t know kid, maybe we should wait another year.”

“Nope no chance, I’m going to get changed and then we can start.” Bobby looked unimpressed so you added on a “Please.” Giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Fine all right, alright go change we can start today”

“Yay thank you” You yelled heading up the stairs to get changed.

 A/N I don’t really know what a service looks like because i haven't been to one for ages, so apologise about that. Sorry if your names Lena as well don't worry show wont be mentioned much. Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it. :D

[thexfridax]

Translated interview

Noémie Merlant & Naomi Amarger: ‘Heaven will wait’

Bernd Sobolla, 1000 Interviews.com, February 2017

// Additions or clarifications for translating purposes are denoted as [T: …]. //

Love and jihad via the internet

The French director Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar (’Once in a Lifetime’) tells the story how two ordinary girls are contacted and finally recruited by Daesh [T: the article labels the movement as IS, I choose to use Daesh, please read up on the difference, for example here] activists via the internet. The film reconstructs the recruitment process and alienation from the family: Sylvie lives alone with her daughter Mélanie. They spend a lot of time together, and Sylvie is proud of the close relationship with her daughter. But then Mélanie meets a boy on the internet who writes to her regularly, compliments her, and finally asks her how she thinks about religion. One day, Mélanie disappears to join Daesh in Syria. Catherine and Samir are the parents of 17-year-old Sonia, a happy family who master their daily life together. But when they return from the summer holidays, their house is stormed by the police and Sonia is put under arrest. Sonia has joined jihad, ready for an attack in her home country. The parents are shocked at how estranged their daughters have become. But they are ready to do everything they can to get them back. A conversation with the two leading actresses Noémie Merlant (Sonia) and Naomi Amarger (Mélanie).

Interviewer: Noémie Merlant, were you reluctant to play a potential suicide bomber, or were you just happy to get the role?

Noémie Merlant: It took me a few months to prepare for this role. Because I’m playing Sonia, who is being recruited by Daesh or who is on the path of recruitment. But on set I had to forget everything I had learned before. Because the girl I play no longer acts rationally.

Naomi Amarger: It was similar for me, going into the role and figuring out the character. It is not easy to understand how to be recruited. And I wanted it to come across […] as authentic and credible as possible. For me, the shooting was a little different than for Noémie. It was the director’s wish that I go into the role step by step and not know everything in advance. I should also be more myself and act instinctively. So, I gradually discovered what was happening to Mélanie.

I: Is the film based on a true story or a combination of similar stories?

NM: The film is based on true stories, although not exactly with the two young women as recruited in the film. The director Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar had contacted many families and young people who had got into such a situation. She interviewed them and made a documentary. In the end, these two young women are a combination of different stories.

NA: Everything is quite real. When the film was first screened - in front of about 30 young girls and the families affected by this - they said they fully recognised themselves in the characters of Sonia and Mélanie.

I: How did Marie-Castille Mention-Schaar prepare you for the roles? And what influence did the attacks in Paris and Nice have?

NM: The affected families mentioned above had met the director through a drop-in centre run by Mrs [Dounia] Bouzar [T: see here and here for more information], supporting parents whose children were contacted by Daesh. She provided us with many documents and made contact with the families. In this way Marie-Castille gained a lot of authentic insights, which she shared with us. To prepare I met a young girl who was in the process of deradicalisation. I had an intensive exchange with her: we got very close. For example, she taught me how to pray and [T: told me] how she was recruited. She did this out of the desire to save others from this experience. There were several reasons why this girl identified with the Islamists: she felt that there was a lack of spirituality nowadays, that it was all about consumption in our society and that there was a lot of injustice. I also ask myself these questions. After the horrific attack in Paris, we were even more agitated, and I asked myself: ‘Can I still come across authentically now?’ On the other hand, we also felt enraged. We wanted to fight the people who do this. And that has also been incorporated into our film.

I: Naomi, we see you as Mélanie, who emphasises the prayer rituals even more than her Muslim friend. Why is Mélanie so strict with herself?

NA: The first contact is online. Daesh recruits the young women via the internet. Religion comes much later; it only comes up when the girls are separated from their family, school and friends and are already integrated into the Islamist group. Then the virtual friend takes action and begs her to convert. She does this out of love or to please him, to do everything he teaches her. She is stricter than a girl who comes from a Muslim family. She is so strict with herself because she wants to do everything right.

I: It is one thing to fall in love and then meet somewhere. With Mélanie, it remains an online relationship, and yet she ties herself to this stranger. Can you still relate to Mélanie?

NA: Going to a foreign country for a stranger, I can’t relate to that myself. But falling in love with someone you don’t physically have in front of you and know, that’s relatable. Mélanie shares her thoughts and feelings with him in writing. For example, he finds the words that move her very much. They talk about the same dreams. And the virtual sphere is almost a relief sometimes. You can definitely fall in love. This may happen faster than in reality. It’s faster and easier if you sit in your room. Because then you are more willing to confess. And in Mélanie’s case, her grandmother also died. So, she is suffering and mourning. And he finds the right words. I can imagine that very well…

I: Noémie, Sonia almost seems manic in her desperation about not being allowed to die. What is going on inside her?

NM: The whole thing is gradually evolving. Rational thinking is simply switched off. That is the ideology of Daesh and the group to which you then belong. The fear of death that you usually have is fading, because you are gradually pushed in a different direction. You receive many answers during the recruitment. These are the wrong answers, but these answers provide certainty at first. And once this ideology is internalised, mind and heart are completely separated from each other: it is about going to paradise. If you want that, you also agree to become a martyr in order to enter eternity, this is also for the people you love.

I: We see how an expert, Mrs Bouzar, explains Islam to affected parents in the drop-in centre. This includes the misinterpretation by people in Daesh. These are moments that almost seem documentary to me. Do you think that these moments are crucial for the film?

NM: These scenes were very important to me personally. Especially when you listen to what the parents have to say, it was a relief for me. Mrs Bouzar first makes a diagnosis, but then everyone does the analysis together. That was very helpful.

I: Naomi, what was the most important experience for you in this film project?

NA: For me, the most striking moment was not during the shooting, but at the first public screening with the families and girls who went through this. Young women who had been recruited and are now in the process of social reintegration. We were, of course, concerned for those who lived through it. But the parents then told us that they were very moved by what they had seen. In some cases, they thought they were practically watching their own child going through this. The parents were also satisfied because it is important for them to be better understood by the public. Many people probably think: ‘The parents are to blame for this to happen!’ And many of the young women said they recognised themselves.

[giftofshewbread]

In Place  (Prophecy Update)

 By Daymond Duck    Published on:July 11, 2021

I think it was the great Bible prophecy teacher Jan Markell that said, “Things are falling in place, not falling apart.”

Here are events that seem to be falling in place.

One, concerning the decline of America at the end of the age to allow the rise of one-world government: on July 1, 2021, the conservative pro-liberty group Brighteon wrote:

“Today in America, every pillar of sustainable civilization is being ripped to shreds: The rule of law, the family, logic and reason, the First Amendment, and even the very concept of due process.”

“It’s all part of an effort to take down America so that the U.S. Constitution can be nullified by globalist interests. After exterminating billions of humans, they want to rule over the survivors via global government.”

“Like a building with a broken foundation, America is about to shift into the ‘gravity free-fall’ collapse scenario, which will likely start with banking and finance.”

Brighteon’s statements are horrible, but they summarize the globalist agenda and seem to be shadows of the coming Tribulation Period.

Two, concerning the ‘free-fall” of America: on July 2, 2021, White House correspondent and prophecy teacher William Koenig wrote (https://watch.org):

“The outcome of the 2020 audits in Arizona, Georgia, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin are making it look more likely Trump could be determined the winner. More details are pending. The Arizona audit in Maricopa County (Phoenix area) is almost complete. Georgia looks as though they are moving toward a Fulton County audit and possibly the whole state. Pennsylvania Republican leaders are moving forward with an audit, as well as Wisconsin. They are at different stages, and they all look favorable to Trump.”

“Major U.S. cities were locked down and/or boarded in the event Trump won the November 3 election.”

“The fear over civil unrest prevented some of the Republican majority legislatures from challenging the election results, and that very possibly caused the Supreme Court not to take the Texas lawsuit that contested election results in four battleground states and was supported by 19 other states.”

“We know the Democrats and the mainstream media reactions and their violent factions could cause major disruption and violence in U.S. cities.”

Pray for America.

Three, the UN is a godless, anti-Israel organization that wants to become a world government.

It constantly passes anti-Israel resolutions, investigates Israel, condemns Israel, etc.

Its attitude and actions fit what the prophets foretold for the end of the age.

On June 29, 2021, Israel’s departing Pres. Reuven Rivlin met with UN Sec.-Gen. Guterres at the UN building in New York.

Rivlin told Guterres, “Our region, the Middle East, needs trust between people.”

“Peace between Israel and the Palestinians will never ever be achieved by anti-Israeli resolutions or investigation committees.”

According to the Bible, peace will not be achieved until Israel accepts Jesus as their Messiah.

Four, those that believe in a Psa. 83 war before the Battle of Gog and Magog are aware that Asaph prayed in part because Israel’s enemies would say, “Let us cut them (Israel) off from being a nation” (Psa. 83:4).

On July 5, 2021, Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah delivered a major speech at a conference in Lebanon and said, “There are no people in the Israeli entity; they are all occupiers and settlers.”

If Psa. 83 prophesies a future war, as some excellent prophecy teachers think, Mr. Nasrallah could be in for a big surprise.

Five, concerning the Mark of the Beast in one’s forehead or in their right hand (notice “in” not “on”): on June 30, 2021, it was reported that current tiniest nano storage devices are at least 100 atoms thick, but researchers in Israel have discovered a way to store data on film that is 2-atoms thick.

Storing information on chips inside the human body (in the forehead or right hand) is getting easier and easier.

Six, Greg Hunter, producer and creator of USAWatchdog.com, recently interviewed the former Assistant Sec. of Housing, Catherine Austin Fitts, and here is some of what she said about the economic situation:

“The central bankers are using the government to shut down the main street economy, and then they are going direct and injecting money into the private equity firms and Wall Street who are running around the country buying things. Think of this as a leverage buyout of the world. We are being purchased with our own money. Also, we are liable. If you look at all the debt the government is issuing, our assets are liable for that debt.”

For those that may doubt what Fitts said, it has been widely reported that Bill Gates now owns more farmland than anyone in the U.S., and World Economic Forum globalist Klaus Schwab said under the Great Reset, “You will own nothing and be happy.”

Here is an interesting comment Fitts made about the role of Covid-19 in the globalist ownership of everything in the world:

“This is freedom or tyranny, and tyranny is slavery. We are talking about very invasive slavery because they are planning on installing the smart grid into our bodies. There will be 24/7 surveillance and control of your money. If you don’t behave, they will turn off your money. If they don’t want you to go more than five miles, your money won’t work further than five miles.”

If this writer understands this, Fitts (not a kook; the former Sec. of Housing) believes Covid-19 is part of a coming surveillance system that will use buying and selling to control people.

Understand that many of those that are left behind after the Rapture will be watched (surveilled), they will not be allowed to buy and sell unless they take the Mark of the Beast, and they will perish in the Lake of Fire if they do (Rev. 14:9-11).

Seven, concerning a peace treaty in the Middle East: on July 1, 2021, a writer for a publication with close ties to Saudi Arabia’s royal family carried an article that said many Saudis believe that Crown Prince Muhammed bin Salman (MBS) has concluded that his nation is making a mistake by clinging to the Palestinian peace process until the Palestinians and Israel agree to the Two-State solution.

MBS and others have concluded that the Palestinians will never agree to peace with Israel because the Palestinians want the destruction of Israel, not peace with Israel.

According to the article, MBS believes Saudi Arabia needs to expand its economy for the good of its own people instead of restraining it to achieve a Two-State solution that the Palestinians do not intend to accept.

Past reports about this issue have indicated that Saudi Arabia’s move toward normalization will be followed by many other Arab nations.

The Bible tells us these 4 things:

1) No one knows the day or the hour of our Lord’s return (Matt. 24).

2) Christians can see the day approaching (Heb. 10:25).

3) It will come upon the world like a snare (Luke 21:35).

4) The Antichrist will confirm a covenant after the Rapture of the Church (Dan. 9:27; II Thess. 2:7).

Eight, on July 6, 2021, Pres. Biden announced his “community by community,” “neighborhood-by-neighborhood,” “door-to-door” effort to vaccinate America’s unvaccinated citizens.

How will the government know who hasn’t been vaccinated if the government is not tracking people?

Is the government now going to monitor citizen’s medical records?

Concerning abortion, this writer believes he has heard Biden say a woman has a right to choose what to do with her own body.

If a woman has a right to kill her baby, doesn’t she have a right to refuse to be vaccinated?

America’s economy is being destroyed.

America’s military is being weakened.

America’s border with Mexico is wide open to terrorists, human traffickers and drug smugglers.

America’s large cities are plagued with shootings and other crimes.

America is beginning to see food shortages.

American companies are under attack by computer hackers.

America’s Pres. supports world gov, world religion, and the Two-State solution.

He thinks Climate Change is the greatest threat to America.

He has dementia, and his son is corrupt.

America’s FBI and CIA are corrupt and turning a blind eye.

America’s election was probably stolen.

America is divided, and a nation divided against itself cannot stand.

America’s pulpits are mostly silent; etc., etc., etc.

Where do we think America will go from here?

Nine, here is a link to a website that Geri Ungurean sent out that provides stories about adverse reactions from Covid-19 vaccinations: https://1000covidstories.com/

Finally, are you Rapture Ready?

If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

[mychemicalficrecs]

long fics with gerard/frank and mikey/ray?

Try these!

Frank/Gerard and Ray/Mikey Longfics

Catching Pieces of a Fallen Sky by snarkydame, 21k, Mature. Ray and Frank are the only survivors of the Jersey Queen, an independent freighter hit by (space!) pirates. In the chaos, the doomed ship took a blind jump through the hyperways, leaving them stranded in a dark and lonely quadrant of space. Mikey and Gerard are the last remaining crew of a legendary "ghost" ship, the Ravenkroft, which has been lost for the fifty years since the War that Broke the Stations. They've been avoiding inhabited space due to emotional scarring from the loss of their crew, and a feeling of isolation due to the fact that they are in fact cyborgs. They pick up Ray and Frank's escape pod, and promise to help them. In the process, old feeling of guilt are assuaged, new emotional ties are wrought, and the legendary ship comes home.

Unholyverse by Bexless, 187k, Mature, Explicit. Religion! Horror! Exorcisms! Piercings! And Gerard is a priest.

Time Travel 'verse by ladyfoxxx, 79k, Explicit. In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019.

L For Lucky (M for Mine) by orphan_account, 42k, Explicit. “Yeah, look.” Mikey turns his head to peer at the crowd over his shoulder. “This is going to seem weird, but.” He stares behind him and seems, for a moment, at a loss for words. “Well, there’s no tasteful way to say it.” Mikey looks Ray in the eye and just shrugs. “This is a highly organized sexual gathering for very specifically kinky people.” Ray feels a bit of spittle lodge in his throat and tries his best not to sputter when he disagrees, “That’s actually a pretty tasteful description of an orgy.”

Pizza 'verse by ladyfoxxx, 29k, Explicit. The AU where they all work at Brian's pizza store.

Should we kill him? by rarepairqueen, 56k, Explicit. Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob have been thrown into the lives of hitmen. Killing people for profit at the hands of a higher power. With no way out of contract killings, what'll happen when they have to kill a misunderstood school boy by the name of Frank?

The Fall and Rise of The Black Parade by wordslinging, 53k, Mature. “I used to think this was Hell. I mean, I always figured that’s where I was headed, if there was any afterlife. And then when I got here…there were no lakes of fire, or anything, but I was stuck on my own in a place where nothing grows or changes, so I figured, okay, Hell’s just a little different than I always thought it would be. But then, after a while…it wasn’t so bad. I found a place where I could kind of belong, and I met Toro and Brian and Bob and Mikey…and you. And I figure…if I was in Hell, falling in love shouldn’t really be in the cards, should it? So after that, I started thinking—okay, maybe this place isn’t anything I ever heard about in school or church. But then again, maybe it is. Maybe this is Purgatory. And I always had the idea that Purgatory was kind of like prison, y’know, you gotta serve your sentence and the only thing that’s gonna get you out quicker is good behavior or having friends in high places. But maybe—maybe you don’t have to just sit around waiting for someone to tell you your sentence is up. Maybe Purgatory ends when you get yourself out of it.”

Tattered And Torn by partyghoul, 131k, Explicit. Known as the scapegoat to the majority of the school, Gerard was always the loner. He was the kid who never got invited to parties, the one no one ever talked to, the one who was never given the chance to socialize. Between sneering peers and a malicious teacher, he learned to blend into the background and accept his fate as an outsider. He had given up hope on ever finding a friend... until Frank came along, changing both their lives, forever.

Across The Lines by iamdali, 67k, Mature. A summer to change everything. Frank Iero is just trying to get out of high school alive when a boy from across the lines makes him question himself, his beliefs and test just how far he’s willing to go in order to be who he wants to be. Gerard Way is home for the most important summer of his life. He’s going to build bridges with his younger brother, help out an elderly neighbour and meet a boy from across the lines.

Pan Verse by Roxy_palace, 42k, Explicit. "Second street on the left, and straight on till Mornington Crescent. Tell them Pete sent you."

Desecrated Kids by wellthisisprettyrisque (collettephinz), 144k, Explicit. Everyone moves into a new town and thinks it's strange. Stepping out of the car with a weird feeling tingling down the back of your neck isn't actually that unheard of, but finding that unmarked grave in the woods behind your house is. Frank Iero wonders if his mother moved him here so he'd disappear off the face of the planet, or if she actually wants the body to be found. All he knows is that this town has some horrible things happening to it, and no one seems to care enough to lift their heads and actually see. He has no idea what's going on, and is one of the few people that wants to find out. Luckily, Gerard is a few steps ahead of him.

We Are Literally the Kids From Yesterday by romanticizingchemicals, 21k, Mature. Frank Iero's the new kid at school, and basically, we have some pretty awesome relationships going on. You want Rikey? You got Rikey. You want Peterick? You go for it, you animal.

When Both Our Cars Collide by SeraphStarshine, 95k, Mature. Gerard is barely surviving until a new neighbor moves in next door, and for the first time in ages, Gerard finds himself with a friend that isn't his little brother. Gerard never imagined that one beautiful boy could change everything for him, but he can't ignore the way Frank makes him feel, or the improvements he has seen in himself. Gerard is aware that he is falling in love with Frank even though he knows it is wrong...he is seventeen while Frank is only thirteen. But he can't deny his feelings no matter the consequences.

As Fun as Homework Can Be by gerardwaytops, 62k, Explicit. Gerard is fresh out of university and is plunged straight into the world of work as a teacher at his brother's high school. He loves his job, but can he resist the temptation of the hot student that he sees most days?

You’re The Only Hope For Me by rc0ncan, 40k, Mature. "You can't imprint on a human!" "Watch me" In Frank's simple world, things like werewolves and vampires only existed in high budget Hollywood films using overpaid actors. Living in the small Jersey town of Belleville, Frank lived a comfortable life. He manages the small diner left to him from his grandparents and attends church every Sunday. He is constantly dodging set up attempts from the little old ladies that frequent his diner or in his congregation. Frank thought the craziest thing he would ever see in this sleepy town was Mrs. Yamaguchi throwing her husbands clothes out the second story window when she caught him cheating. But that would all change when he meets the gorgeous and mysterious Gerard Way.

I didn't want this... until I met you. by Nixy_x, 90k, Explicit. Gerard hated being the most wanted Omega at school, he was fed up with it all. There was nothing special about him he just wanted the Alphas to leave him alone. He didn't want this... But when a new Alpha starts school and turns his whole world upside down he starts thinking that maybe he does want it after all...

A Series Of Hauntings by Anonymous, 89k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard lives in a lighthouse by Dead Man's Point. He spends his time talking to the seagulls, and painting his prophetic visions. He's seen his fair share of strange things, but when Frank Iero jumps off the cliff's edge, Gerard will do anything just to bring him back. Anything.

The Lights You Make by Honestmouse, 172k, Teen And Up Audiences. It's been a year since Ghoul literally stumbled onto Kobra and Party's door step. The trio have become close in that time though just recently having begun to call themselves a crew. Ghoul and Party are helplessly attracted to each other, though for some reason denying it. And Kobra? Well he's just himself. A little lonely but soon he has something, or someone, to take his mind off of it. That person however is not exactly in the best uh shape to help Kobra as he watches his brother and best friend ignore their feelings towards each other. Also: who the hell decided it’d be a good idea to give them a baby?

[queerfables]

Supernatural Liveblog (Episodes 1x06 - 1x08)

These notes were made while we were watching and they’re much funnier than the ones we made afterwards bc we’re real bad at remembering stuff. 

We’re all still on the incest train and I’m starting to worry that by the time Cas shows up, I’m going to be actually invested and end up shipping wincestiel. Am i allowed to make “this fandom is a curse” jokes yet or am I still too new?

Supernatural 1x06 - Skin

We open on a lady tied to a chair, a guy with a knife, and SWAT descending on the house while sexy rock music plays. N: This is.... an elaborate BDSM scene Me: I WAS JUST THINKING. N: This show walked so Hannibal could run.

Lmfao @ Dean's face when Sam says he's a cop. He lies about this all the time but when Sam does it he's suddenly all pissy? "You're a real straight shooter with your friends" Well Dean maybe if you had any friends to lie to you wouldn't be so judgey.

The camera focuses on a suspicious man, whose eyes flash white. We all ooh. P: okay, but he's not a demon, because his eyes didn't go black. Me: must be the opposite of a demon! P: An angel? N: A horse. Me, laughing: I actually know what it is from tumblr. N: Is it a horse?

Dean, after getting an I told you so moment about Sam's lying, "This whole gig isn't without it's perks," he says, and hands Dean a gun. Me: this is America, you don't need to hunt monsters and demons to get a gun P, the only American in the room: You get one at birth.

The scene where Sam figures out Dean is being impersonated by the shapeshifter is really good. But also after it finished I looked at P and N and said, "would you guys be mad at me if I said that was really gay?" N: Not even a little P: Same, babe

And then we get Sam tied up and a Dean lookalike (Deanleganger!) leaning in all close saying "He's got issues with you" like WOW.

I really enjoy seeing more of Dean's issues through the shapeshifter's eyes, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't also enjoy how sexual this tension is.

Dean waking up tied up in the same room as Sam later P: Was he just... Like... Hiding under a sheet of canvas? N: I think he was supposed to be unconscious, but like who knows Me: I think he was hiding. "Jesus Christ, guy, please don't tell my brother I'm into him."

Then P said xe were kind of into Dean in this episode and N&I agreed that both Sam and Dean were looking good this episode. P laughed at us for having the same taste, and I pointed out that it's not that surprising because we're both into xem.

Supernatural 1x07 - Hook Man

Dean doesn't want to paint the guy purple, but he'll watch over a magazine.

P: maybe he's not repressed, maybe he's just a voyeur

P thinks that being attracted to reverends' daughters is The Lesbian Experience

Dean talks about losing his mum N: "Hey, I have trauma too" Me: That's like, his one move. N: To be fair, in real life, it WORKS P, looking at me: It's how we got together. P, looking at N: Actually, it's how we got together too.

Dean looks longingly at the party and then says he's going to go dig up unmarked graves. P: That's a bisexual mood. Sorry, Dean. N: Making out with cute people and hanging out at a cemetery aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

N argues that cemeteries are queer safe spaces because: no one else around, film nights, church-adjacent and therefore just the right level of sacrilegious

Dean is being extra bisexual in this episode, which is fun for an episode about religion and emotional repression.

Me: Hey what was this episode called? N: Man door hand hook car gun? P, looking at phone: Hook Man. Me: Seriously? P: I found it by googling "Hand hook car door supernatural"

Supernatural 1x08 - Bugs

Me: Oh I think this is the episode with the bees that didn't show up on camera and had to be CGI'd in later.

Lmfao @ Sam and Dean being mistaken for a couple. N: Oh yeah, they know what they're doing. Me: It's too early for them to be seeing what fandom is picking up and reacting to it. P: They're definitely doing this on purpose

Getting strong homophobic dad/queer son vibes from the insect kid and his dad. Sam is very soft with the kid (to the point of picking up his spider?? UGH but also aw) which I like

N finds the spiders very cute and cuddly. P and I are not so convinced.

Dean is fully in the wrong with his whole "Don't tell the kid to leave his dysfunctional family! Why are you acting like Dad did anything wrong? You yelled at him too!" schtick, and I make no excuses for it. My heart does hurt for him as well as for Sam, though. I'm pretty sure the reason he's so hurt by Sam identifying with this kid is that he did everything he could to shield Sam from their dad's abuse, and if Sam still feels this way then what was it all for? Also, their dad wasn't the only one Sam left. Like, I wanna forcibly cuddle Dean and yell "Sam was right to go! You can leave your dad too!!" but I understand why he feels this way.

I tuned out while they were explaining the reason the bugs are all attacking but I think the gist was something something ancient burial grounds? P and N were like "Seriously??"

On the bright side, at least they did not actually break the curse. N says "Hiding in an attic for five minutes with an improvised flame thrower until the sun comes up is pretty anticlimactic, but it could have been worse!"

Final comments:

The funniest thing is how there’s an episode where Sam and Dean are mistaken for a couple and it’s still not as incesty as the one where Dean gets replaced by a shapeshifter who can access his innermost thoughts.

[foreverythingyouhatemefor]

❝Not Meant For Me❞

❝I'm trapped in this world Lonely and fading Heartbroke and waiting For you to come We are stuck in this world That's not meant for me For me❞

{Not Meant For Me - Wayne Static}

The familiar "click" of her front door unlocking is like music to her ears. Chloe has finally returned home after another long and grueling day, and she is in desperate need of a shower before she even thinks about doing anything else for the rest of the night. She had just finished up an insanely busy five hour shift at the coffee shop, and she is a mix of sore, sweaty, and exhausted.

A small yawn escapes through her lips as she makes her way inside of her tiny apartment. She closes and locks the door behind her, before dropping her bag onto the floor next to her. She unceremoniously kicks her shoes off of her throbbing feet, not caring where abouts they land. All she cares about is getting out of her uncomfortable as fuck work uniform, washing her day away, and slipping into a much comfier outfit. She's already stripping out of said work uniform as she trudges towards the bathroom, internally thanking God that she doesn't have to work tomorrow. She desperately needs to clean and organize her apartment, as well as do her laundry. Between her job, and the seemingly endless amount of schoolwork, she hasn't had a lot of downtime to do either of those things.

Welcome to adulthood, Chloe. It's not what it's all cracked up to be. Kid you is a fucking moron for thinking that life gets easier as you grow older. At least back then, kid you didn't have all the responsibilities that adult you has to face, now. Especially in an entirely new city, in an entirely new state, where the only person you know just so happens to be your six minute younger than you, pain in the ass fraternal twin brother who decided to tag along for the ride.

Fun fuckin' fact, kiddos. It ain't just identical twins who are, stereotypically, attached at the hip!

Sunnydale, California. A seemingly sleepy town with a population of only 38,500 people. A vastly different number than the over 2,000,000 population of her hometown of Brooklyn, New York. Both herself and her younger brother, who is named Christopher if anyone cares, had moved there only a few months prior to attend school at U.C. Sunnydale. Chloe had been accepted into the Religion and Film program, whereas Christopher had been accepted into the Psychology program.

Their parents had chosen to stay behind in Brooklyn, mainly due to the fact that they own and operate a very popular Italian restaurant that they didn't want to give up. A decision that both kids understood, since they know how passionate their parents are when it comes to that place. The last thing they'd want is to hand it over to potentially incompetent people who will end up running the restaurant into the ground. Plus, they knew that their kids could take care of themselves. In more ways than just remembering to change their underwear every single day.

Chloe is fully nude by the time she finally makes her way into the tiny bathroom. Not that anyone would see it, anyways. She lives all by her little lonesome in that tiny as fuck, one bedroom apartment of hers. The very apartment that is only a four block walk from the university one way, and a five block walk from the coffee shop the other way. She finds this to be insanely convenient, since being within walking distance of both her school and her workplace means she gets way more exercise than she ever did when she was still living in Brooklyn. Plus. There is way less traffic here than there is there. That's another added bonus, right there.

She stops in front of the sink, figuring she should at least brush her teeth before she hops into the shower. She can't help but snort a laugh as her blue eyes settle upon her reflection staring back at her in the tiny mirror that hangs above it. Between the dark circles under her eyes and the look of pure exhaustion, she looks like a fucking zombie. Shit. If a zombie apocalypse were to break out, maybe the undead bastards would mistake her for one of their own and spare her precious brains. She begins to hum the song "The Attack of the Dead Men" by Sabaton under her breath, another laugh escaping her after she finishes humming the chorus. She gives a shake of her head, before reaching for her trusty toothbrush and toothpaste.

She continues to hum the song as she brushes her teeth, only pausing when she goes to rinse out her mouth. After that's done, she makes her way over towards where the tub is located. She pulls back the curtain, before leaning down to turn on the taps. Call her crazy, but, Chloe likes her showers to be as hot as Satan's ballsack. Especially after an insanely long day of classes and work. She finds that the hot water helps soothe her sore muscles, and it helps her to relax when she's feeling tense or stressed. As soon as the temperature is where she likes it to be, she steps inside and closes the curtain before activating the shower head.

She lets out a soft groan as the scalding water cascades down her body. She closes her eyes, raking her slender fingers through her long, blonde hair. She grimaces when she feels how truly knotted and nasty her hair feels, no doubt a combination from her not washing it in a few days, and the amount of sweat that had accumulated on her head from her commute from her apartment, to school, to work, and back again. It also didn't help that she ties her hair back into a ponytail whenever she's at work, one that she had already yanked out as soon as she had clocked out. Well. It's nothing a little bit of the Honey, I Washed My Hair shampoo bar from Lush won't fix.

She doesn't keep track of how long she stayed in the shower for. All she knew was that it was long enough to give herself a good, solid scrub and allow the hot water to somewhat soothe her sore and tense muscles. She eventually turns the water off, heaving out a soft sigh through her nostrils before she opens the curtain. The entire bathroom is filled with steam, and, her mirror is obviously all fogged up because of it. She chuckles softly to herself, before stepping out of the tub and reaching for a fresh towel so that she can towel dry her hair before she goes to blow dry it. She always feels a little bit more human after a nice shower, and, this moment is no exception.

After her hair is dried, Chloe slowly patters her way towards her bedroom. She makes her way over towards her wardrobe, grabbing her favourite pair of flannel pyjama bottoms out of its designated drawer. She slides them on, making sure they're sitting where she likes them to sit before she makes her way over towards the closet. She decides to grab the "Seven Pillars of Wisdom" shirt that she had just splurged on not long ago, and she promptly slips it on. Ahh. Much better than that fucking awful uniform she has to wear for work. After she's dressed, she decides to go into the kitchen to make herself a quick cup of coffee. She has a few assignments that she needs to work on for some of her classes, but, her brain needs its fast juice before she sits her ass down and gets to work.

As strange as it is to be living on her own, in a whole new city and state...Chloe knows for a fact that she'll be okay. Sunnydale may be vastly different than Brooklyn, but, she's a strong girl with a good head on her shoulders. This is a new life for her. A fresh start. A chance for her to live a normal life. The normal life she never thought in a million years she would ever be able to achieve...

Or...so she thinks, anyways...

[just-another-obsessed-fangirl]

Lover (2019) Sentence Prompts

feel free to change pronouns and other specific details

How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?

Lived in the shade you were throwing ‘til all of my sunshine was gone

I couldn’t get away from you

In my feelings more than Drake

Your name on my lips, tongue-tied

Free rent, living in my mind

But then something happened one magical night

I forgot that you existed

I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t

It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down

Laughed on the schoolyard as soon as I tripped up and hit the ground

I would’ve stuck around for you, would’ve fought the whole town

Would’ve been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show

But you showed who you are

Sent me a clear message

Taught me some hard lessons, I just forget what they were

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night

Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price

You know that I bought it

I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

It’s new, the shape of your body

It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got

It’s a cruel summer

It’s cool, that’s what I tell ‘em

No rules in breakable heaven

Hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine

We say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times

We’re not trying

Cut the headlights

Summer’s a knife

I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

If I bleed, you’ll be the last to know

I’m drunk in the back of the car

I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Said, “I’m fine,” but it wasn’t true

I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer

Just to seal my fate

I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

He looks up grinning like a devil

We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January

This is our place, we make the rules

There’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Take me out and take me home

You’re my lover

We could let our friends crash in the living room

I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ‘em all

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue

All’s well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true

You’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

At every table, I’ll save you a seat

I would be complex

I would be cool

They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to

That would be okay for me to do

Every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you

I’d be a fearless leader, I’d be an alpha type

When everyone believes you, what’s that like?

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can

I’d get there quicker if I was a man

I’m so sick of them coming at me again

If I was a man

I’d be the man

I hustled, put in the work

Shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve

And they would toast to me

What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models?

It’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad

I’d be a bitch, not a baller

They paint me out to be bad

It’s okay that I’m mad

I’m ready for combat

I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

I search for your dark side

What if I’m alright right here?

I cut off my nose just to spite my face

I hate my reflection for years and years

I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

All of my heroes die all alone

They see right through me

Can you see right through me?

I see right through me

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again

All of my enemies started out friends

His footprints on the sidewalk lead to where I can’t stop

His hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I’m drawing up the plans

It’s like I’m seventeen, nobody understands

He got my heartbeat skipping down 16th Avenue

Wanna see what’s under that attitude

I want you, bless my soul

I ain’t gotta tell him, I think he knows

I’ll make myself at home and he’ll want me to stay

He’d better lock it down or I won’t stick around

Good ones never wait

He’s so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We could follow the sparks

I’ll drive

Where we gonna go?

You know I adore you

I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen

I’m lost in the lights

Ripped up my prom dress

Running through rose thorns

I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life

No cameras catch my pageant smile

I counted days, I counted miles 

It’s you and me, that’s my whole world

They whisper in the hallway, “She’s a bad, bad girl”

The whole school is rolling fake dice

You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

We’re so sad, we paint the town blue

Voted most likely to run away with you

My team is losing, battered and bruising

I see the high fives between the bad guys

You are the only one who seems to care

The damsels are depressed

Boys will be boys, then where are the wise me?

Darling, I’m scared

No cameras catch my muffled cries

I don’t really wanna fight, ‘cause nobody’s gonna win

I think you should come home

I’ll never let you go, ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

She’s a bad, bad girl

High, like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

I’ve read all of the books beside your bed

Cold, like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

Kiss me once ‘cause you know I had a long night

Kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright

Three times ‘cause I waited my whole life

I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

You’re the one I want in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dreams

In the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too

I’m with you even if it makes blue

Takes me back to the color that we painted your brother’s wall

Without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn’t be standing here so tall

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

I rent a place on Cornelia Street

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrow head leading us home

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I’d never walk Cornelia Street again

That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend

I get mystified by how this city screams your name

I’m so terrified of it you ever walk away

Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street, before you even knew I was gone

You called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

You hold my hand on the street

Walk me back to that apartment years ago

We were just inside barefoot in the kitchen

Sacred new beginnings that became my religion

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk but it’s not enough

The morning comes and you’re not my baby

I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up

Chandelier’s still flickering here

I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not

I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say, “I don’t know”

What once was ours is no one’s now

The only thing we share is this small town

It was a great love, one for the ages

If the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand 

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with a touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from out paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough

But I’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts

I love my hometown as much as Motown

Something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

You know I love a London boy

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

I guess all the rumors are true

Boy, I fancy you

Now I love high tea

You can find me in the pub

We are watching rugby with his school friends

Show me a gray sky, a rainy cab ride

Babes, don’t threaten me with a good time

God, I love the English

Doesn’t have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Stick with me, I’m your queen

The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair

I didn’t tell you I was scared

That was the first time we were there

Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you

Desperate people find faith

Now I pray to Jesus too

Soon you’ll get better

You’ll get better soon ‘cause you have to

I know delusion when I see it in the mirror

You like the nicer nurses

You make the best of a bad deal

I just pretend it isn’t real

I’ll paint the kitchen neon

I’ll brighten up the sky

I know I’ll never get it, there’s not a day that I won’t try

I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to?

What am I supposed to do if there’s no you?

This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was

It’s been years of hoping

I keep saying it because I have to

You’ll get better

We were crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I’d die for you?

We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

Remember how I’d fly to you?

I can’t talk to you when you’re like this

Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town

I’m New York City

I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

The road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith

We might just get away with it

Religion’s in your lips

Even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship

The altar is my hips

We’d still worship this love

I know heaven’s a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

We can patch it up good

Make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

You can’t talk to me when I’m like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You’re the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

You are somebody that I don’t know

Taking shots at me like it’s Patrón

Damn, it’s 7 AM

Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out

Say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out

I ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression

I’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing ‘bout somebody else is no fun

Snakes and stones never broke my bones

You need to calm down

You’re being too loud

Can you just not step on my gown?

You’re coming at my friends like a missile

Why are you mad when you could be glad?

Sunshine on the street at the parade

You would rather be in the dark ages

Making that sign must’ve taken all night

You just need to take several seats

Try to restore the peace

Control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

Shade never made anybody less gay

We see you over there on the internet

Comparing all the girls who are killing it

We figured you out

We all know now we all got crowns

I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue

Put you in jail for something you didn’t do

I pinned your hands behind your back

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

Chemistry ‘til it blows up, ‘til there’s no us

Why’d I have to break what I love so much?

It’s on your face and I’m to blame

It’s all me in my head

I’m the one who burned us down

It’s not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don’t wanna do this to you

I don’t wanna lose this with you

It’s all me, just don’t go

Meet me in the afterglow

It’s so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens

Tell me that you’re still mine

Tell me that we’ll be just fine even when I lose my mind

Tell me that it’s not my fault

Tell me that I’m all you want even when I break my heart

I promise that you’ll never find another like me

I know that I’m a handful

I know I never think before I jump

You’re the kind of guy the ladies want

There’s a lot of cool chicks out there

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

Trouble’s gonna follow where I go

One of these things is not like the others

When it comes to a lover

I’m the only one of me

Baby, that’s the fun of me

You’re the only one of you

Baby, that’s the fun of you

I promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

I will never bore you, baby

There’s a lot of lame guys out there

We had that fight out in the rain

You ran after me and called my name

I never wanna see you walk away

Living in winter, I am your summer

Hey kids, spelling is fun!

There ain’t no I in “team”, but you know there is a “me”

You can’t spell “awesome” without “me”

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

“Wanna hang out?” Yeah, sounds like fun

Video games, you pass me a note, sleeping in tents

It’s nice to have a friend

Light pink sky, up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

20 questions, we tell the truth

You’ve been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

Church bells ring, carry me home

Rice on the ground looks like snow

Call my bluff, call you “Babe”

Have my back every day

Stay in bed the whole weekend

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I’ve crossed unforgiven

I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night 

Now I see daylight

Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky

I became the butt of the joke

I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

Maybe I’ve stormed out of every single room in this town

Threw out our cloaks and our daggers

Because it’s morning now

It’s brighter now

I can still see it all in my mind

All of you, all of me, intertwined

I once believed love would be black and white (but it’s golden)

I can still see it all in my head

Back and forth from New York, sneaking in your bed

I once believed love would be burning red

It’s golden like daylight

You gotta step into the daylight and let it go

I wanna be defined by the things that I love

Not the things I hate

Not the things I’m afraid of

The things that haunt me in the middle of the might

You are what you love

[necroissants]

Ok so here are my two cents about the Donnerstag 20:37 Clip aka first half of O Helga Natt and why I think this leads into Druck adressing Matteos mental illness (fingers crossed)

So this is gonna be a bit long but bear with me here! (or keep scrolling you do you, boo)

So at first I was mad because of the frustratingly abrupt way in which the clip ended, but that could be because the clip is one part of two. I also wanted Matteo to spend more time with his mother since we got to actually see her and him engaging as opposed to the OG but that too makes sense once you see what's actually happening in the clip.

If you compare the OG clip and this one you immediately see the obvious differences and similarities. At first (at least for me) that made the Druck clip feel disappointing because we expected the clip to include a reunion and for the focus to be on Even/David and his storyline.

But if you look closely at what's happening in the two different versions though it becomes clear why it's changed:

(I'm doing OG from memory here so if I get something confused pls tell me!)

OG 'O Helga Natt' Scene: Isak is in church with his parents - music is playing through the whole scene - there is almost no dialogue - we never see his parents faces or him directly interacting with them - Isak gets the text from Even, therefore bringing the storyline of uncertainty about Evens feelings for Isak to a close -the whole scene we and Isak seem to be in a bubble shutting everything else out, until he receives the text - a short while later he realizes Even might be in danger and he leaves the church to go search for him - he doesn't talk to his parents or says goodbye - he finds Even at the school and tells him that hes not alone, they embrace - End of clip.

Ok so now for the Druck Clip: Matteo walks into the church and sits down while the choir is singing - music is playing through the whole scene there is no dialogue - the focus is on Matteo at first, as well as the church walls and windows, we then get shots of his mother noticing that he's upset and leaving the choir to go to Matteo and hug him - we see Matteo crying, the focus is on his face again - The next shot is from a little farther away, we see matteo and his mom talking but there is no sound - Matteo receives the text from Laura - He turns around and leaves without saying goodbye (music starts as soon as he receives the text) - Matteo hopes David might have gone to his flat and rushes there - When he doest find David there his thinly held composure crumbles and he has a full blown panic attack (or the panic attack continues) - he texts David that hes worried about him and that hell wait for him at the exam tomorrow - the clip ends apruptly.

Allright so let's break down what this means!

While both clips are obviously filmed to be from the perspective of the respective protagonist, they have a largely different focus reflecting the the characters current situation and state of mind. While Isak was lovesick and sad because he feared Even didn't have feelings for him, he was so preoccupied with these feelings that the situation itself, which otherwise would have been stressfull for him (confrontation with his parents, his conflictions regarding religion and being gay) wasn't the problem of the scene. We aswell as Isak were is this hazy bubble until the text ended his lovesickness and the realization that Even needed him moved him into action.

In the Druck clip however Matteo is not in a state of uncertainty and confusion in the beginning. Although he misses David, he thinks he's going to see him later. As soon as he sits down we get alternating shots of his face and the church from his point of view. The stained glass windows seem to stare down on him. We see his mom noticing that hes upset (the camera is angeled from Matteo's perspective) and going to him. We actually see them interacting! The scene is about Matteo breaking down/starting to have a panic attack because of the place he is in, maybe because of seeing his mom, and her comforting him. That aspect, different from the OG, isn't numbed for him bc that is what that scene is about, and thats where the focus is. This is emphasized by the full-body shot of him and his mom talking. While in the OG the parents fall into the hazy background of the scene, here his mom is in focus and important for the narrative that is being told. Then the text interupts. And complete opposite to the OG it doesn't close the storyline but further complicates it. Matteo thought he was gonna talk to David tonight, there were no Big Unknowns at this point until now that David is missing. As Isak did, Matteo leaves the church in a hurry and apparently without saying goodbye. But while with Isak the reason for that was the new purpose and certainty (as well as some worry about Even) he got with that message, for Matteo it is that on top of his breakdown he now starts to panic because of David. The music that plays in the second half of the clip starts the second he reads the text and - symbolising his panic - drowns everything out. Different from Isak, Matteo has no idea where he should look for david and goes home I hopes of finding him there. When that isn't the case he really starts to panic (restless pacing, fidgeting, wrapping the pillow around his head to try to calm himself). And the clip ends there! There is no conclusion, nothing is resolved - just as is Matteo's mental illness! Notably David is very explicitly not in the clip. The text is from Lara, he is shown to not answer Matteo's texts, he isn't at the second location.

Conclusion: As opposed to the OG this clip isn't about David (or Even) in any shape or form, but about Matteo reacting to the situation. Druck is playing with our expectations of how the clip will play out, and reverses them. We were expecting this clip to show them reunite, to tie up the "drama" storyline, to reflect the events in OG! Instead it went in a completely different direction by (seemingly) only slightly changing the scene.

Of course this also ties into David's storyline and the (I think) most likely confrontation with General Neuhaus tomorrow, but them meeting tonight wouldn't really have changed that storyline at all! (provided he's showing up tomorrow)

So I think that means that they are going to persue the MI storyline after all because otherwise changing the scene like this just wouldn't make any sense.

On top of that it also takes away the implications of equating Even's Bipolar storyline to David's trans storyline, so yay.

[artificialqueens]

bound to you (pearlet) - pipedream

a/n: this is about a million firsts for me (including the first time i’ve written in about two years) and for context this is a chapter from a much bigger trixya fic i’m writing based on the film burlesque that i planned ages ago. i knew i wouldn’t be able to include every scene and pov i wanted for this in the actual fic so hence this mess. massive shoutout to @grey-darling for beta reading and being an all round angel (thanks for preventing my utter neurosis) and i just made a sideblog for writing that i’m hopefully actually going to use so check out @piipedreams if you want!

Violet’s wedding dress is, to say the least, unconventional. Barely hitting mid-thigh, it manifests itself as a white corset pulling her waist to an almost impossible size with her small breasts perfectly cupped and stone lines running down the bodice, thick white feathers along with strips of glittered tulle hanging off in every direction as a skirt. Her hair is perfectly coiffed to avoid tangling in the white feathers rising up from the top of the corset behind her like a regal collar or strange halo, and despite looking like one of her dance costumes, the glittering tiara and jewels twisted into her updo and her signature red lips constantly upturned make her seem like the most regal person Trixie has ever seen. It is glamorous, extra and, she thinks, quintessentially Violet. Trixie loves her. Trixie loves weddings.

In spite of her expectations, the wedding is a rather small affair. Around forty guests are invited, most the charismatic yet sleazy twenty-somethings Max keeps as friends, laughing obnoxiously loudly and milling about with undone top buttons and bottles of lager clutched in one hand as they try to charm the girls from the club. Trixie feels fiercely protective of them as she watches an already intoxicated man wrap a possessive arm over a tense Farrah, and is about to stride over to the scene when she feels a hand clasp around her upper arm, acrylic nails slightly biting into her skin with the force of the grip.

Katya had left the apartment early that morning, while Trixie was showering, without a hello or goodbye, to get ready with Violet and her bridesmaids Raja, Courtney and Alaska. Trixie hadn’t seen her dress, her makeup or her planned hairstyle and as she swivels around to face the hand clutching her, she remembers why she abandoned religion long ago, because no god could be so merciless as to force her to endure such torture. Because Katya is stunning in every way, from the violet lace flowers adorning her sheer, knee length dress to the silver Dr Marten boots contrasting the elegance of her tiara, curls and makeup that must have been done by Raja. Trixie could fucking cry, she wants to say something but she’s lost, eyes firmly planted on the offensive boots she wears. But Katya doesn’t seem to have the patience to be stared at, yanking Trixie closer to her and pressing two fingers from her spare hand under Trixie’s chin to tilt it up to face her.

They’re inches apart, Katya as always chewing incessantly on gum, so close that Trixie can hear every time it’s squelched between her teeth, can smell and taste the mint radiating from her grape painted lips, can feel hot air against her face and Katya’s eyes bore into her, solemn and serious, slightly wide and pupils dilated. Her lips part in what seems like slow motion to Trixie, gentle and graceful, and when she speaks her voice is a soft whisper.

“Pearl is here.” And now it all makes sense. The words come out rushed, panicked and her eyes widen further, her chewing on the gum picking up pace and power until Trixie is slightly terrified she’s going to grind her teeth down or unhinge her own jaw. Her fingers are twitching. Trixie doesn’t break their gaze.

“Who the fuck invited her?” she demands. All she can think about is the last few weeks, Pearl’s sullen face and blatant antagonism, every biting comment aimed her way, every bitchy side-eye at one of the girls and muttered insults. Pearl drinking, Pearl turning up late, high, Michelle refusing to let her go on stage and replacing her. It’s not the day for drama or negativity, for the pendulous grey cloud hanging over Pearl’s head like her own personal crown. In short, Trixie can’t be fucking bothered with her.

“Violet, I think,” Katya responds, face contorted so Trixie knows she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek enough to make it bleed. “I love her but you know she can be pretty–” She stops, sighs and tugs Trixie’s arm harder so they’re slowly making their way across the room from the bar to the double doors, “–oblivious.”

Trixie nods once, goes to instinctively bite her thumb nail before remembering they’re now acrylic and detouring to the skin around it instead. She lets herself be pulled to the door like a child, only stopping when Katya slaps her hand out of her mouth, catching it in her own before it falls to her side to wipe the pink lipstick from her silver nails with a sweeping caress. She doesn’t let go after that, releasing her arm with a quick rub to it and avoiding all eye contact as she says, almost guiltily, “I’m taking you to talk to her. She asked to speak to you and I didn’t know what to do… or say. Sorry.” Another sigh. The tension wrapped in her lithe body aggravates Trixie but there’s now a swooping feeling in the pit of her stomach so she stays silent, lets Katya push open the wooden door with a bang and strides over to the smoke signal indicating Pearl’s presence. Katya leaves without a word.

Due to the rushed plans and low budget, Violet’s wedding is in a local town hall, a simplistic location with nothing special. Pearl’s stoic expression, precisely painted face and cigarette seems more than a little out of place somewhere so rustic, and finally Trixie sees what all the other girls must have, once upon a time, because she doesn’t want to get any closer but she can’t tear her eyes away. Pearl is like a Renaissance painting, intimidating and ethereal to look at yet much too powerful to be near. Sitting on the curb, looking out upon a carpark of battered Hondas seems wrong to Trixie, as though she is breaking some kind of divine rule. The smoke of the cigarette held between them chokes her as she carefully positions herself on the left of Pearl, neither one of them looking at the other now. Trixie’s love for weddings is slowly fading. She’s tongue-tied.

“I swear I wasn’t always such an uptight bitch,” Pearl begins, taking a drag of her cigarette as Trixie decides whether to gasp or laugh. It seems too out of the blue to be real. As she exhales, Trixie watches her features pinch and her eyes screw up for a second before she exclaims, almost desperate, “I don’t know what the fuck has happened to me!”

Trixie doesn’t speak. She has no words to say, no sympathy for the girl who thus far has only tormented her and thrown the dynamic of the club off completely. It’s not fair of her to call Trixie out like this, force her to listen to her breakdown and her frustration and her probably meaningless sob-story excuse. But she was raised too polite to say any of this, or to get up and leave to have fun with her friends as planned, so she just taps her foot in time to the new number Michelle told her to learn and listens.

“It’s a whole long fucking story I don’t want to go into and I’m sure you don’t too and I– I swear this isn’t an excuse or anything I know there’s no excuse but– fuck – I used to be so, like, flazeda, you know?” Pearl turns to her, the cigarette in her fingers long forgotten.

“Flazeda?” Trixie huffs out a breath of laughter, baffled.

“Is that– Is that not the phrase? I don’t know, I was always a dumb bitch according to Violet– fuck, Violet– but like, I swear I’m usually so fucking chill.”

Trixie finds that hard to believe. “Are you drunk?”

“No, I had like one cocktail when I got here but there were too many people at the bar and I know they don’t want to see me right now so I just kinda avoided everyone after that– God what am I saying? - anyway-”

“Get to the point, girl. I don’t wanna be out here.”

“Right, sorry, I just-” She sighs, takes one last drag from her cigarette before putting it out against her knee, burning a small hole through her dress. Trixie knows Violet made that dress. She wonders if she did that on purpose. “-I’m not a bad person. I know I’ve been a fucking asshole to you and I know you hate me, which I get, but I swear this isn’t me. And I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what you’re even saying, Pearl. And why now? Your timing is… kinda fucked.”

“I know, I know, I just-” She looks skittish and panicked, nothing like what she’s used to, or what she claims to be. “-Violet’s getting married!” She pulls out her carton of cigarettes again with twitching hands only to find it empty. Without a second thought, she hauls it into the car park and watched it bounce off one of the battered Hondas. Trixie stifles a snort. She tries again.

“Violet’s getting married and I know that now. She’s got a whole future ahead of her, a life planned and she knows who she is and what she wants and that’s so good! It is! But I’m a year older than her and I know nothing and I’m just letting things happen and fucking things up over and over again and for what? To watch a twenty three year old I care about more than anyone slowly leave me and show me everything I’m doing wrong. Everything is a fucking mess and I need to start fixing things. And there’s nothing I’ve fucked up more than my relationship with you.”

The words feel too weighted for Trixie to process. She speaks in riddle and metaphor, convoluted and fragmented all at once and Trixie didn’t sign up to solve puzzles today. She gives her a look, pointed and demanding, all hooded eyes and pursed lips.

“I never thought Violet would get married. At least, not now. Not like this.” She shakes her head. “But I’m, like, coming to terms with it and accepting it and moving on. So I had a lot of shit going on and I took it out on you and I’m sorry. I was bitter and jealous and fucking disheartened and I blamed you but I shouldn’t have. So I can put all that resentment and drama behind me if you can. I want a fresh start. So,” she turns to face Trixie with her whole body, arms wrapped around herself as she meets Trixie’s gaze, looking smaller and more human than ever before. “Truce?”

Trixie is exhausted. While Pearl’s voice can often be soothing, as pleasant as her very appearance, the neurosis under every word made it heavy and painful, and neither of them, she realises, are heartless. They’re all just girls desperate for a place to come home. So she nods, rests a hand on Pearl’s knee to repeat “Truce,” as authentically as she can and rises, ready to immerse herself in the celebration and hope awaiting inside instead of festering in Pearl’s hopelessness any longer.

As Trixie retreats, Pearl tries to gather her thoughts. She’d expected her apology to sound sincere and genuine, to allow Trixie a first glimpse into her old self, the real her she’s trying to become again, but the moment she arrived her whole situation had become too much for her brain to handle and she’d spouted out nothing, she felt, of value. She wonders if she’ll have time to pop to the shop across the street for more cigarettes before Katya sends over the next person she requested, and considers laughing briefly when she tries to conjure the image of Katya like a scout trying to lead lost girls through to her like some kind of interviewer, but all amusement falls from her when she sees the stern face of Michelle out the corner of her eye. Another demon to face.

Michelle doesn’t lower herself to the same level as Pearl. Reaching her, she doesn’t lie with her body contorted in ways that should not be possible and nick a fag like Katya, doesn’t curl up on the curb in a ball and look up earnestly like Adore, nor does she stretch out with long legs extended into the road like Trixie. Instead she just stands, looking down on the pathetic form in front of her, and Pearl has never felt more ashamed or guilty, not in all her outbursts, all her moments with Violet, all her fights with Trixie. She wants to get it over with as quick as possible.

“I didn’t sleep with Sean,” she starts with a sigh, trying to block out the fleeting memories of the night she yelled that at Michelle, drunk and high and stupid with unbridled emotion. “I just wanted to find a way to make you hurt the way I was. I crossed a line.”

“Yes.” She responds, features slightly relaxing. Pearl loves her. “But you did sleep with Violet.”

And there it is, the elephant in the room for weeks, months, over a year. The world’s worst kept secret she convinced herself was the best. In theory, she knew that most of the girls, hell, most of the workers at the club in general, must’ve known, with the exception of Trixie and Adore, perhaps, but nobody ever said anything or even hinted, so she told herself over and over again that they didn’t know, that this was just for her and Violet, something for them to enjoy in private. Just the two of them. But the club is her family, and family know everything, whether they acknowledge it or not. She can’t deny it.

“Yes.”

“Multiple times.”

“Yes.” She thought calling people out to speak to her like this would be good, that she’d have full control over the situation. Trust Michelle to hold all power over her effortlessly. Instantly. She watches her mouth open again, ready to speak more unbearable truths, to tell her things she hasn’t even spoken aloud yet, so she cuts her off with a lulling, classically Pearl voice, proud. “Michelle, I want to come home.”

“You came here, despite everything. You’re already home.” The words are gratifying, like some kind of spell that saves her, redeems her, makes everything feel not-so-hopeless and finished. For a moment, the tightness of her lungs relieves itself as she thinks about how easy her next conversations with Kim and Shea should be after that, until Michelle lays a hand on her shoulder and regains her attention.

“I know you’ve been sending Katya in search of all of the girls for you to talk to but I stopped her. I told her to just send in the one that matters, because I knew you wouldn’t call her. So talk it out, get out your own head and don’t you ever pull any of that shit again or you will be out so quick it’ll make your head spin.”

“Yes ma’am,” she responds to Michelle’s retreating form in a moment of pure catharsis.

“And don’t you ever fucking call me that again, bitch!” Pearl finally allows herself to laugh, open and real and it feels so good, so freeing and real until the tightness in her chest returns and she stops, mouth still open, caught dead. Michelle doesn’t fuck around, and she could recognise the silhouette approaching her anywhere.

“Violet,” she breathes out, stunned. It wasn’t that she didn’t ask for Violet because she had nothing to say, she just had far too much and couldn’t gather her thoughts enough to decide what was appropriate to tell her. She can barely think at all in Violet’s presence, it’s what’s lead her to the position she’s in now, sat helpless on a curb with no fags and too many feelings outside the wedding of her best friend, who approaches her like she’s a wounded animal, all gentle eyes and slow movements. It’s a Violet most of the world hasn’t seen, and she wonders how much of this side Max has seen. Wonders if it’s more than she has. Wonders whether she really wants to know the answer to that.

Unlike Michelle, Violet sits, but not next to her like any other regular human. Muttering a petulant “I didn’t want the fucking thing anyway,” she removes the long veil from her head, places it on the ground and tries to lower herself to sit on it, fighting the control of her corset, right in the road, directly opposite Pearl. Face to face. She lets out a groan as she finally sits and stretches her legs out so her feet sit in Pearl’s lap. It feels too familiar, and to disguise her expressions Pearl looks down and fiddles with the white faux fur attached by hand, she’s sure, to the stilettos. “You wanted to talk?”

“No,” Pearl admits, because this is Violet. “Michelle wanted us to talk.”

“About…?” And she’s stumped. Of course she knows what Michelle was insinuating but she doesn’t have the words for that yet, isn’t ready to open and fully delve into that can of worms, she’s dumbstruck and overwhelmed and terrified. She reaches desperately for something, anything that matters and can get across her point in a subtle and ambiguous way that she doesn’t have to fully come to terms with. “Why are you marrying him? Wait, no, why are you getting married in the first place?”

Violet doesn’t look half as offended as she’d expected, but throws out pretty quickly a defensive “Because I’m in love!” as she kicks Pearl’s hands away from her feet. She’s unsure if it’s an act of petulance or protection over her brand new shoes.

“Are you? Or at least, is that the real reason for all this, not the pregnancy drama?”

“Are you?”

She ignores that, tries to persist. “I just want to make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. I mean, Jesus Violet, you’re only twenty three.”

“Answer my question. Are you?” Violet’s tone is pointed, eyes look black as they pierce her, imploring.

“Answer mine first.” She gulps. She didn’t want to have this conversation, curses Michelle and Katya and Violet and herself and any greater being if they exist.

“That seems like all the answer I need. But not what I want. And you know me, Pearl. I always get what I want.” Pearl can’t grasp her tone and work out whether it’s seductive or intimidating as she tilts her head to the side, capturing her eyes in a fierce gaze. She finds it both, equally. “I’m getting married to secure my future with somebody I love, who can love, take care of, and provide for me for the rest of my life. I’m in love. Are you?” She tilts her head to the other side this time, eyes slightly wide, all curious and innocent.

“I– who would I even be in love with?” Pearl stammers out, barely able to form words. She feels caught off-guard entirely. Like Michelle, Violet knows how to command anything and immediately take charge of the situation. It used to be one of her favourite things about her.

“Me.” She stares harder, refusing to allow Pearl to look away.

This is Violet. The girl she calls her best friend, the girls she’s spent endless nights with, countless intimate moments, the girl she’s admitted most of her secrets and all her darkest thoughts to. This is Violet, who she promised never to lie to and never to hurt. She doesn’t break promises, but now she finds the two in complete opposition. She knows which one she has to break, but she can’t bear it.

“Do you love me?” Violet tries again, but it’s not a firm and demanding as before. It’s by no means soft or gentle, not at all sympathetic, it’s just a plain and sincere question. She could’ve been asking what she had for breakfast.

“No.” She tries. “I mean, yes. You’re one of the girls, you know. You’re family, and I love you all. You’re my best friend and I care about you more than anything. Of course I love you.” The lump in her throat swells as she speaks and she tries not to let it affect her words or block her airway. “But are you in love with me?” Never satisfied, she thinks, mentally rolling her eyes.

“No.” Pearl lies. Violet bites on the tip of her own tongue.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I care about you a lot but I don’t think it’s love.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I promised you I’d come. And I don’t break my promises.” She lies again, but it’s enough to placate Violet, who nods once, assured. Pearl watches with hungry eyes as she takes in a deep, sharp breath and smiles.

“Good. Well, you found out why I’m getting married and I found out why you’re here so everything is even, right?” Pearl nods quickly. Violet pulls her feet out of Pearl’s lap and places her hands on the ground, bracing herself to stand. Before she does, though, she reconnects their gaze with friendly, slightly guarded eyes.

“Are you staying to watch the ceremony? Or did you just come to fix things with everyone?”

“I don’t know.”

“OK.” It feels too anticlimactic an ending. Violet must sense it too as she stands, because she looks back as she picks up her ruined veil. “It starts in five. I’ll see you in there, or– maybe not. But hey, you can keep this.” She tosses the veil into Pearl’s lap nonchalantly. “And Pearl?” She halts her movements and softens. “I’m glad you’re back. And happy.”

“Me too. With you. I’m glad you’re happy with him, and in love. You deserve it.” Blatant lies mixed with truth. Pearl thought she had turned over a new leaf. What a dumb bitch she is.

Violet walks away, outfit still as white as ever, right down to the shoes. She pushes through the booming double doors like an ice queen and out of Pearl’s sight entirely, leaving her on the curb facing the car park with nothing but a battered veil and her thoughts for company.

By time she’s finally collected herself, ran back through every conversation of the afternoon in her mind, the sun is setting slightly and blinding her and she decides to go inside. The concept of time had left her grasp a while ago and she’s not sure if the ceremony has started or finished by this point, but she decides to take her chances. She promised Violet since they were barely adults, long before they should legally have been in the club, that she’d always be by her side. Her wedding included. So she stands without another thought and strides towards the wooden double doors, a veil in one hand and an old clutch bag in the other, and pushes open the doors with her fist and a little too much force, stumbling through them like an idiot as she loses her balance and slips on one leg. When she regains control of her limbs to stop herself from falling to the ground and embarrassing herself entirely, she is met with around forty faces turned in her direction. The heaving wooden doors had slammed together behind her with a thud and, naturally, drawn all attention in the room to her pathetic, bumbling figure. She tries to conjure up something to say and, devoid of any sense of dignity, holds the soiled veil clutched in her fist up.

“You forgot your veil.”

Being such a mess, so mortifyingly out of control, she expected the guests to laugh at her. What she hadn’t expected was the stoic silence she was met with, eyes flitting between people and back at her, mixtures of shock, confusion and utter disdain upon their faces. She slowly lowers her hand and watches Katya grab Trixie’s hand, chewing on the skin of her bottom lip. Michelle will be furious if it bleeds, she thinks momentarily, but it’s neither the time nor place, and she hadn’t meant to cause a stir but she can’t see an empty seat and an all-too-familiar voice breathes out “Pearl” with such ambivalent emotion that she seems to have forgotten every reason she decide to come in the first place.

“Pearl.” This time the voice is Michelle’s, speaking to her like she’s a stubborn child. “You–”

“What is she doing here?” Max demands to an unresponsive Violet, whose full body had turned to Pearl upon her arrival, crimson lips parted and eyes wider than she’d ever seen them. The quickening, deep rise and fall of her chest as she breathes is visible even from the other side of the aisle. Realising he’s not going to get anything from his soon-to-be wife, Max rounds on her instead. “You weren’t invited. Get out of my wedding.”

For once in her life, she decides, she’s going to stand her ground. She’s going to follow her gut and do what feels right and she isn’t going to give in and let people down. Violet is twenty three and about to be married because she knows who she is and what she wants and goes for it. Pearl is twenty four and it’s time she starts acting upon that too. “Violet invited me.”

Max scoffs. “No she didn’t. We wrote the guestlist together, you weren’t send an invitation.”

“No.” She screws her eyes shut for a second before they meet Violet’s wide ones, knowing the words are going to hurt. “She invited me at the club. Face to face.”

Max rounds on Violet again, who is still motionless. “Is this true?” He does not demand, as she’d expected, but asks softly with a furrowed brow. Hurt, perhaps.

Violet nods slowly. Pearl watches her throat bob as she swallows. In barely more than a whisper she tries to speak again, a gentle “Pearl, I-” before she is cut off this time by their minister. Everything and everybody is in disarray.

“I believe we were at the vows, yes?” She aims to Max, nodding frantically to try and regain some sense of order. Violet is elsewhere, frozen, as he nods back at her and places his hands gently on her waist, turning her to face him as he expresses his love for her in words Pearl is certain only half the room is really hearing. She resigns herself to watch the ceremony standing, watch her best friend sign her life away to a man twenty years older than her who hates Pearl and has to physically move her in order to get her to marry him. It all feels so wrong. She hates that Violet wants this. A bitter, selfish, dark part of her prays that Violet doesn’t really want this but she silences it.

As Max says “Till death do us part,” with a small smile on his lips and his hands clutching Violet’s, Violet shuts her eyes. It’s the first time she’s moved of her own accord since Pearl’s entrance. Her eyes are squeezed so tightly shut her eyeshadow is barely visible and Pearl wants to call out to her and stop her, to press her index fingers against the wrinkled eyelids and flatten them out, to tell her her makeup is going to be ruined, but she can’t. There’s an aisle and a man and a ring between them, and all the man is doing is saying “Violet!” once in a sharp whisper, like a parent berating their child while trying not to embarrass themself. Like anyone could ever be embarrassed of Violet.

Taking in what looks like a huge breath, Violet opens her eyes and slowly extracts her hands from Max’s grip. She looks at him with sorrowful eyes and turns away to face the aisle. Like some sort of Medusa, she turns Pearl to stone as her gaze fixes on her, and this time she speaks properly, with volume and power and certainty.

“Pearl,” despite the newfound conviction, she is soft when she speaks, her voice all breathy and airy, perfectly regal. It’s not the first time she’s been so compelling Pearl has wanted nothing more than to get on her knees before her, but this time it is nothing but respect and a feeling of pure unworthiness that makes her feel as though she should kneel, or bow or curtsy. The aisle is short but Violet finds a way to walk only halfway down it, an equal distance from Max and her. It’s all too much and there are forty pairs of eyes trained on them that Violet seems barely even aware of as she speaks again.

This time, there is no teasing, no fleeting insinuations and speaking in metaphor and half-sentences. She is plain and direct when she finally asks “Are you in love with me?”

And while part of Pearl had been fully expecting the question, she is still somehow taken aback by the words. This is it, her very last chance, the precipice of their whole relationship and Violet’s future. It’s the final opportunity she has to act upon what she really feels, regardless of the consequences. It’s now or never. Before she opens her mouth, however, Violet speaks again. “Pearl. I need to know. I can’t get married without knowing everything there is to know about myself and my life. I’m about to give my whole future to him, until death. I have to know. Are you in love with me?”

The question has been asked so many times it’s beginning to become unbearable. But so is the old Pearl, so she straightens up, looks Violet dead in the eyes and tries to prevent her voice from cracking as she says without a hint of regret or hestiance “Yes.”

Violet takes one step closer. One fucking step. “Say it.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, just for the two of them. She does not command, implore or desperately plead. She just speaks, encouraging Pearl to speak again like she’s sharing another secret with her beneath silk sheets. And Pearl is melted by her gaze. “I love you.” She swallows the lump in her throat and it leaves for good. Her body feels light. It’s a feeling she hadn’t remembered. “I’m in love with you.”

Behind Violet, Pearl can hear Max stuttering out single syllables with an expression like a fish, all typical masculine outrage and bewilderment, completely struck wordless by the idea of his wedding day being anything less than perfect. But as Violet approaches her with an unreadable expression and grabs onto her upper arms with both hands, she finds she couldn’t care less about him, or anyone else for that matter. They have forty people as an attentive audience unable to tear their eyes away from the soap opera drama they have a front row seat to, but she doesn’t care about them either. Because Violet is gritting her teeth and pulling her closer as she turns and says, with only a slither of apology laced in her tone “Max, I can’t marry you. I love you, and you could give me the future I always planned for myself, but I’m twenty three now. And that’s not the future I want. So I’m sorry, but I guess I’m cancelling the wedding?”

The last phrase comes out more as a question, her voice breaking slightly and Pearl fears, for a moment, that Violet has made the wrong decision - is still barely able to process that Violet has made a decision, that she had a decision to make - but then she turns back to Pearl, who sees that her voice had wobbled as a huge grin had graced her face, mouth half open as though more than pleasantly surprised with her own decision and eyes sparkling.

Pearl loves her. Pearl is so in love with her and her toothy grins and twinkling eyes and when Violet ecstatically says “I– I love you too!” with a furrowed brow and breathy voice, completely dazed by her own life, Pearl feels giddy and silly and she laughs. Her hands go to Violet’s hips, slightly tickled by feathers as she pulls her closer and they laugh right into each other’s faces, ugly, loud, completely unromantic and more than perfect.

And when Violet finally kisses her, long and lingering and interrupted by dizzy grins, soft yet firm lips making more promises than even Pearl has and washing away every moment of tension she’d had out on that fucking curb, more fulfilling than the cigarettes she’d been craving for what feels like forever now and more addictive than nicotine could ever be, she feels like the old Pearl all over again. She can vaguely hear a man wolf whistle and the newfound defiant side of her itches to put her middle finger up until Violet, beautiful, perfect, unromantic yet still in love with Pearl, does it first and Pearl pulls her closer, breaking the kiss to rest their foreheads and noses together, not yet ready to face her smeared lipstick. Katya is whooping, she’s sure, and she can feel the grins from the girls from the club radiating off them.

“What now?” Violet asks as she pulls her face away, eyes flickering down to their conjoined hands almost self-consciously. It’s a very un-Violet like gesture, the kind to put her on edge for a moment, until she continues. “I’m not letting you be the Elaine to my Ben so you better have a plan.” Always so demanding.

“When have I ever had a plan for anything?” Pearl responds, shaking her head with her lips upturned and eyes more fond than she’d like. Violet laughs again, loud and obnoxious, turning away to face the girls from the club. As they’d got caught up in each other, the guests had for the most part made their way to the bar, trying to make the most of its availability before they inevitably get kicked out. Their club family, however stand in a cluster closeby, waiting for them to break away so they can round on them, and for a minute Pearl has flashbacks to playing football as a child and the team gathering her up after scoring a goal. Violet, she thinks, is the greatest goal she’s ever scored.

Alaska is softly sobbing into the crook of Sharon’s neck, who has one arm wrapped around her and is laughing hysterically as Katya bounces up and down behind her with her hands on her shoulders, talking endlessly about everything too quickly for Pearl to process. Violet is wrapped under her arm now as people speak to them, congratulations and jokes and bets and claims they knew all along tossed on them unrelentlessly until Michelle appears.

“How do you feel?” She asks, and Pearl doesn’t know who she’s directed it at. She lets Violet speak first.

“This was the right decision.” Pearl’s heart feels full. “I would’ve been signing my life away to him, bound to him for eternity. I don’t think I’m meant to belong to anyone like that.” She nudges Pearl with her hip. “This one wouldn’t dare try me. She knows me too well.”

Michelle laughs, hearty and glad. “Good luck with that one,” she says, addressing Pearl this time. “She’ll keep you on your toes. I hope you know what you signed up for,” she jokes with a wink.

“So do I.” She returns with false dread, teeth gritted and brow raised as Violet screams beside her and pushes her away momentarily, pulling her back by her hand into a chaste kiss as Michelle retreats before turning to her, eyes doe-like and youthful with sudden sincerity.

“You know you could’ve avoided all this drama if you’d just said yes outside. I knew you loved me all along, but I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t admit that to me. I’m too old to be ashamed of anything anymore, especially not love.”

It’s too much for Pearl to take. She is brimful with love. “Shut the fuck up,” she simply says with a grin, shoving her head slightly. “You’re a fucking baby.”

“Your fucking baby.”

“Oh, do you have a plan for us now, since I’m apparently so useless?” she shoots back, all playful and flirty, and god how she’d missed this.

“Maybe,” Violet replies conspiratorially, tapping the side of her nose before she plants a big, red kiss on Pearl’s cheek. Pearl fucking hates her. “I love you!” Violet adds with a grin.

[verytamenow]

Reputation Tour Movie: Reactions

On the off chance anyone has wanted to know what it’s like to deal with my commentary when I will not shut the fuck up, click that read more to get my Reputation Movie commentary!

Opening

- Taylor is the most extra bitch. I love her.

- Opening video still gives me chills

...Ready For It?

- The strobe lights make this as sometimes irritating to watch as it was live. Which is a pity because I love the performance.

I Did Something Bad

- Will idsb ever not give me chills and murder me?

- I want her to bite me when she snarls

- Her hips. The idiot giraffe is blessed.

- Her vocals

- Fuck Me Up

- The most precious happiest koala😭

- (spots a rep room wristband) lucky bitch

Gorgeous

- I’m So disappointed a step above gorgeous being gorgeous didn’t get immortalized in the tour video

- The assholes (I say out of jealousy) with the triangles. Why didn’t we think of that!

- “And I’m Taylor” Bitch I hope so. I spend so much on your ass.

- Stop looking like that Taylor it makes me feel things

Style

- I get why style made the set list and love the songs but justice for ootw

- That guitar riff gives me ALL THE FEELS

- yes bitch strut! Thank you Karlie Kloss

Love Story

- Aww all the throwback and legacy feels 

- Is it legal not to jump during this song?

- Boop.

- “I keep waiting for you but you never cum” is probably not a problem Taylor has. On either end.

You Belong With Me

- (proceeds to bounce in place because Taylor owns me)

- The parent holding up her daughter is Kristen in the future

Look What You Made Me Do

- The lwymmd pre video is my sexuality

- I want murderess snake queen Taylor to end. my. life.

- Would let her choke me

- I’m the bitch mouthing oh my god

- This is my favourite part of the tour ngl

- THAT SMIRK

- side note: also remember when we thought it was a dragon and not a snake?

- She really snapped and killed a bitch with this song

- THE INTENSITY WENT OFF AND HOW IS PIT NOT LOSING THEIR SHIT

- like mosh or something fuckers

- KARYN!

- I weirdly love the back vocals she recorded for lwymmd. The short “ah”s really make it

- The sass

- A queen

- I’m so gay

- This is why I’m doomed with whoever I date

End Game

- The disappointment Ed never guested on the tour

- The choreo for this is 🔥

- I mean all of it is but her hips

- Her legs are worth every penny of 40 million

- The hand over the face bit is an objectively weird closing move

King Of My Heart

- How do we actually make her America’s queen

- This is the softest song

- I stan komh so hard

- Like I love delicate but this is just as soft. Softer even

- I love I’m getting to see the other half of the choreo because we sat on the left side each time

- Up on the roof with a school girl crush /  Drinking beer out of plastic cups / Say you fancy me not fancy stuff / BABY ALL IT ONCE THIS IS ENOUGH

- This is the closest we’ve come to a poc love interest in anything she’s filmed. Except the End Game MV sort of.

- We didn’t stan the dancers hard enough

- The drums made this tbh

Delicate

- Oh gods I’m not ready for the delicate speech

- I’m the dude who screamed he loved her

- Bless the rainbow dress

- “Shit is that what is was on my wrist? I thought her stalker and taylurking ways had just finally gone to tracking bracelets.”

- (knock at the door) Me, pausing: umm I blocked out this entire 2 hours for our lorde and saviour Taylor Swift???

- (Scott Swift voice) I’m going back into my zone

- The lights are so pretty. No wonder Taylor loves the bracelets

- Bitch we know your unreleased stuff

- Do let’s go/battle as a surprise song and be shook

- 1! 2! 3! LET’S GO BITCH!

- Can you believe she flew right over us

- That little dance. She’s so fucking precious

Shake It Off

- B stage. Remember how she gave invisible to the gays

- And finally played breath

- The only redeeming thing for shake it off is that she made it as gay as she could

-I still wanna know what inspired “my ex man brought his new girlfriend...to the fella over there with the hella good hair” bit

- What did Di do? And who did Taylor hit on? Or is Karlie the one with the hella good hair?

- Giuseppe got down on one knee long before Karlie ever will

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

- How smug was Taylor when her jump to pop worked?

- There must have been so many I told you so’s

- It started raining. The closest I’ll ever come to a rain show.

- I can’t believe she played this song in Nashville with Karlie right there and kept her shit together

- Taylor’s never more magical then when it’s just her and a guitar

- I would give anything and go deep in debt to go to an acoustic show

- This filter was unnecessary and such a call out

- She had one fuck left and it’s name is alliterative All Too Well

- I hope she keeps doing acoustic surprise songs like this next tour. Where it’s a set thing.

- I’m so relieved she approves of lyric tattoos. Like....imagine if she didn’t and I have my entire forearm

- Put down your fucking phones and watch her be magic personified

- Also fuck this song for being so powerful

- The way she sings the bridge

- Now did she really lose the 12 minute version or is it just a little too obvious who it’s about

- Her wink! I’d die

- Is that chick okay? Did she live?

Blank Space

- The crowd walk! I’m still so so fucking endlessly proud

- Look at her!

- My precious angel reclaiming walking through her fans

- How the fuck are these people not dying tho?

- Still want her to hit me in the face with the golf club

- And kick me in the face with her boots

- This is also still my favourite mv

- It was so perfect

- This is also quality choreo. I wouldn’t have made it had it seen it right in front of me

- Gay icons

Dress

- Holy fuck dress is so gay

- Like.....we been knew but still

- This song is why she didn’t dare film in Nashville

- The vocals should be illegal

- Like, they’re NSFL (Not Safe For Lesbians)

- The first time she did that (strip tease thing) and the Nashville show were the best ones

Should Have Said No / Bad Blood

- This is still the most fucking random mash up

- I mean it works and redeems bad blood but wtf

- The person sitting on someone else’s shoulders has to really be pissing off someone else who can’t see

- Aggressive banjo

- Can’t believe she puts on a show and sells like this and Borschetta wouldn’t give her the masters. Idiot

- The dudes dangling are braver than any US Marine

- Instead she negotiated for better artist pay AND her future masters. The Legend jumped out

- I remember watching this the first time and being briefly confused because this sort of drawn out thing is what they normally do for show closing but it was too early

Don’t Blame Me

- Oh fuck here we go

- THIS IS MY FAVOURITE TOUR OUTFIT

- PERIOD

- ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES

- this entire fucking performance. No words

- I love all the dude dancers had the blinders like headgear. As if such powerful sapphic love is distinctly not for their consumption

- I have found religion

- I stan a queen

Long Live / New Year’s Day

- I love she knows how many people work on the tour and genuinely appreciates their effort

- I hope this mashup sticks around, at least as the surprise song at the closing show of the next tour

- I’m not crying you’re crying

- Hold on to the memories, they/I will hold onto you is one on my favourite lines she’s written

- Along with with please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

- Oh my fucking god stop letting her be this precious

- Remember how fucking loud we were in Denver?

- This is my favourite moment of the entire show - for her. You can tell how much it means to her

- She owns my ass and wallet forevermore

- “I had the time of my life....with you” is a whole emotional mood

- Her quick little thank you 😭

Why She Disappeared

- Oh that’s the first time I’ve heard the echos

- Those boots probably cost more than my life

- This should have been the close or open of the getaway car mv

- Imagine if it shows up in an mv next era. Starts with a car on a pink x

Getaway Car

- The 1989 neon is an interesting choice

- Is that the shift to pop being a getaway or the close of the 1989 era being one? (More thoughts on this later)

- Hits you like a shotgun shot to the Heart is a fucking amazing line

- I loved that bit straight away

- I can lowkey see getaway car being about switching labels tbh

- This last album maybe IS the getaway car (more, again, later)

Call It What You Want

- Ciwyw is one on my favourite love songs of hers

- Trust him like NO OTHER was right at her fingertips

- Who the fuck would say no to running away with her?

- I would let her RUN ME OVER, running away WITH her? Fuck yes

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together / This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

- WANEGBT/TIWWCHNT is a brilliant mash up

- But fucking ridiculous to type

- “But I’m not the friend you’ve lost lately” is the shadiest fucking line and I love it

- I’m disappointed we never got video of her recording “cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do”. I can only imagine the sass and snark

- “Taylor the mic is picking up you muttering ‘fucking prick’. You need to record it again.”

- “.....Taylor, muttering ‘backstabbing motherfucker’ isn’t any better. Maybe try it without the muttering?”

- The mouthed “I love you guys” ❤😭

- They’re not showing people collecting confetti? How unrealistic.

- Oh, there they are.

- “The words are all the same over and over again and I know that’s my fault....” still funny as hell

- “What’s a 767?” What’s it like to have that kind of money?

- Will pay to watch Taylor skip through a stadium

In conclusion: Taylor owns me. Kristen puts up with a lot from me. And I can’t wait for the next chapter.

[imagine-loki]

Long And Lost

TITLE: Long And Lost

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: CHAPTER 10

AUTHOR: FadingCoast

PROMT/ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine being Loki’s old friend/Lover in Asgard, but you left for Earth a long time ago. For all he knows, you might be dead, but you’re still alive and you’ve been working with SHIELD and/or the Avengers.

PAIRING: Loki/Sigyn RATING: Mature.

NOTES/WARNINGS: Sexual innuendos (no explicit sex) / mentions of torture and brainwashing. The prologue is set right before Avengers. The first chapters are set after Civil War. Chapter 4 and on, are all during Ragnarok.

Also on Ao3

.-

Ch. 10: The air was full of various storms and saints

Sigyn was in the park again, purposefully keeping away from Bucky. She was starting to regret her rushed decision to leave the next day, but it was probably for the best. Her life had been literally turned on its head.

If you keep thinking about him, I will block you.

Then block me.

Sigyn clenched her jaw, her mind swarmed with curses in ancient languages. Though it wasn’t like she expected Loki to be of any help. She shook her head and summoned a book, if only to keep Loki entertained with something else. He wasn’t blocking her and they both knew that.

But, as usual, her calm was short lived.

“What do you want, Steve?” She said, not even lifting her head from her book.

“I came to apologize.” He said, standing rigidly in front of her.

“If only that apology was sincere enough.” Sigyn looked at him, he just looked back uncomfortably. “You came cause Bucky asked you. He thinks that if you apologize I will stay. But you don’t want to apologize and you don’t want me to stay.” With a flourish of her hand the book disappeared. “I told you on the first day we met we didn’t have to be friends. That included not telling you anything you didn’t need to know.”

“That’s still lying.”

“Indeed.” She conceded. “Sit down, Steve.”

“Why? You already had a conversation with my head.” He said, ticked off by her mind reading.

“Amuse me.”

Begrudgingly, he did. “Okay, I’m sitting.”

“I’m gonna show you something.” Sigyn reached for Steve’s hand, he recoiled a bit, not wanting another flashback like the one he had in the cafeteria. “I promise no pain this time.”

Steve took her hand, if still a bit wary. But she held up her promise. No pain this time. Images flowed in front of him. He was in a garden, a teenage girl had climbed up a tree. She was making little rocks levitate, and dropping them to the small pool. She was working on a particularly big one when a commotion could be heard approaching. The rock dropped and Steve could see she climbed even higher, where she would be shielded from view. One boy came running, he was panting, and nearly fell head first into the water, but stopped right at the last moment. His face was red, but he was still smiling. Two other boys and one another girl closed in on him, demanding an apology for turning the girl’s braids into snakes.

Wait, he looks familiar. That’s Thor?

Yes.

So that’s Loki.

Also yes.

Steve couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could see Thor hold Loki at sword’s point. Loki just smirked. If he was worried about the closeness of the water he didn’t let on. He stumbled back, but instead of falling into the water, it looked like he was walking on it. Thor, the boy and the girl started to shout at Loki all kind of offensive words. He just walked back a few more steps, taunting Thor to come get him. He stepped on the water just for his foot to go right through, effectively losing his balance and falling on his butt. Loki nearly had a fit. The other boy pulled Thor off the water and dragged him away, dripping wet and sputtering more curses. When they left, Loki walked back to dry land and the girl on top of the tree jumped down.

That’s you. It was your trick.

Loki kissed Sigyn’s hand, she just rolled her eyes. He then swirled her around and threw her on his shoulder. Steve couldn’t help the chuckle.

You were ridiculous.

We were teenagers.

The scene changed. Steve was inside a library. Not far from him, Loki and Sigyn were under a table, making out. A loud bang interrupted them and they burst out laughing. Another change, and the scenes started swirling around like a fast forward film. Kisses under the rain. Cuddles by the fire. Loki holding two newborns in his arms, gazing lovingly at Sigyn fast asleep on the bed. Steve smiled despite himself. They were a normal, happy family. It was absolutely bizarre to see Loki playing with his kids.

You see? That’s the Loki I know.

The scene changed again. This time it was darker, they were older. They had lost their sons. Steve could feel the sorrow again, that deep sadness inside of her, and how that pain could literally destroy you. Now, Loki was tied to a rock, a bowl was floating over his head. Steve flinched: he knew that pain already. And he knew how Sigyn had saved him.

Once one of our teachers told me I would be his salvation. She wasn’t wrong. Even if it means saving him from himself once in a while.

Steve understood that feeling all too well. Sigyn let go of his hand and the illusion disappeared.

“You really love him.” He said softly.

“I do. And I’m not giving up on him any sooner than you’re giving up on Bucky.”

“But you still can’t justify genocide–”

“I’m not trying to.” She said. “History is written by the winning side. Odin has done worse, yet he named himself All-father and gets shrines and temples built in his name. Or pick a religion. Political systems sworn to lead all those who profess some faith by example, by abiding to their writings, to what they believe is morally right, putting themselves on pedestals, more righteous than the next. I’ve seen those churches burn other churches, torture people, slaughter entire civilizations. I’ve seen soldiers ripped away from their peaceful homes, forced to fight for their kings, their gods, their made-up idols, their political leaders.”

As Sigyn spoke, Steve saw himself inserted in an institution designed to keep the peace, still rotten to the core. Maybe he wasn’t better than that either. He had also lied to protect those he loved: he had lied to Tony about his parents, he went rogue, he allowed people to die just to protect Bucky. It made him wonder how far he’d go, how blind he could become to everything else if, in his head, his cause was justified.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Sigyn sing-sang. “Including yours.”

Their conversation had dragged long enough for the sun to be setting, giving way to a warm wind. Sigyn stood up.

“And what are your intentions?” Steve asked.

“I just want to be happy again.” She simply said. “Don’t you?” She added with a smirk before she walked away.

.-

Urgents knocks on the door startled Sigyn awake from her slumber. She had been almost asleep. But not anymore. With a heavy sigh, she went to get the door, knowing full well who was outside already.

“What are you doing here?”

Her plain tone made Bucky shiver. “I–”

“Go back to bed, it’s late.”

“I can’t– I can’t sleep.” Bucky said. “Please, don’t-“

Sigyn sighed, and opened the door. “Come in.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He felt extremely awkward, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He had a whole speech in his head, a well worded and prepared speech to make his case. To convince her to stay. But it vanished as soon as he got to her room. He didn’t know what to say.

“Can you- can you read my mind?” He asked, looking at the floor. “I don’t–”

Sigyn shook her head and took his hand. Immediately he felt a sense of relief, and he allowed her to lead him to the bed.

“You’re going to get me in trouble.” She mumbled, lying down. Bucky resisted a bit at first, but he still laid between her legs and snuggled up to her lap like a little boy would cuddle his mother.

Care to explain this?

What is there to explain?

He’s stealing my spot!

Really??

Sigyn shrugged Loki off. She put her hand on the back of Bucky’s neck. A golden glow illuminated the room. Bucky felt a warm sensation spreading through his body, relaxing his muscles. It made him sleepy, but he didn’t wanna sleep just yet.

“Please don’t leave.” He whispered softly.

“I can’t be your therapist, Buck.”

“I don’t want you to be my therapist. I want you here.” He said looking at her. “I- there’s nothing else about it, I promise– I know!” He pressed on the word, even if it was just to convince himself there was nothing more. “I just feel safer with you here.” He stared at her hopefully.

Sigyn sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay.”

She didn’t know exactly why she was giving in to his plea. All she knew was that Bucky needed her, and she couldn’t say no to that. Bucky smiled and took a deep happy breath, snuggling further into her lap.

“Tell me stories.” He said. “About your children.”

“Why would you wanna hear those?” She said, amused but his peculiar request.

“You’ve lived inside my head for months, you know basically everything about me. I’d like to now about you too.”

“Makes sense.”

With her hand still on the back of his neck, Sigyn started to tell him stories about her life in Asgard, adding a few images here and there. It had a fairy tale effect on Bucky, who was slowly dozing off.

She, on the other hand, couldn’t be further from calm, at least on the inside. After the initial protests that she decided to ignore, Loki had fallen awfully quiet inside her head. She knew that silence: He was blocking her. Or trying, cause she could still feel his rage and his jealousy. And she knew, he was on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid.

.-

Feedback is always appreciated! Masterlist

[imagitory]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review [Spoilers]

Hey all! So I just got back from seeing The Last Jedi, so I can finally put my two-cents in on the newest installment of the trilogy. Before getting into spoilers, I will say this film is a worthy addition to the franchise, building upon concepts from previous movies while also creating new, creative imagery for this film that fits alongside the stuff that came before it. While I successfully guessed a few twists this film took, it also surprised me just as much, and I greatly appreciate that. It kept me on my toes the entire time. Overall, I would say every Star Wars fan will get something great out of this, even if they end up not liking the film as a whole.

Now then...spoilers ahead. Beware, all ye who enter here.

The Good!

+These action scenes...DAMN! I think they were easily some of the most creative and thrilling in the entire film series. Rose and Finn’s chase through intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight, the opening battle with the fighter jets, the confrontation at the rebel base, and the battle between Rey, Kylo Ren, and the First Order officers were all fantastic. The effects were spot-on, the music matched the movement perfectly, and the choreography of both the CGI and the actors was really well-done.

+Mark Hamill as Luke. I mean, yeah -- what can you say here except “duh?” Mark really went above and beyond here. Yes, I knew I was going to love seeing him as Luke again for nostalgic reasons, but what I love most is how much more depth Mark brought to the character, after all of the trials and tribulations he’s gone through between the films. He depicted a character who most would think would solely be a mentor figure, given his age and his beloved status, but who it turns out has his own learning curve to take on. He needs to acknowledge that while the Jedi were flawed, their philosophy shouldn’t just be completely thrown out and their old religion shouldn’t just be forgotten -- there are pieces that are still of use and should be passed on. It’s something Rey also realizes, and Kylo does not -- Kylo wants to burn everything down, including the past, regardless of the shreds of good there might be in that past along with the bad. And like Rey, as much as I was sad to see Luke go, I felt peace as it was happening. He is now one with the Force. Now he can guide Rey into the future and haunt Kylo for his mistakes -- both of which I will support him in wholeheartedly.

+Carrie Fisher as Leia. This truly was a shining performance -- I feel so beyond blessed that she was able to finish shooting her scenes before her sudden death, because hail to the motherfucking Queen, baby. When the Rebel bridge got blown up with Leia inside (good touch having it be Kylo’s men and not Kylo who did it, by the by), I literally felt myself stop breathing. But then she FLOATED HERSELF BACK TO THE SHIP TO SAVE HERSELF AND HOLY SHIT. It was actually eerie seeing Leia unconscious on the ship, as I couldn’t help but think of how Carrie had also been in a coma just before she passed...it was beyond merciful that Leia survived in this installment, and that she got to kick so much ass here. I do wonder how the filmmakers are going to handle her loss in the next movie...but wow, am I glad we got to see Carrie one last time on film, especially when she gave such a good performance.

+The focus on Poe. Honestly, Poe Dameron didn’t get that much attention in The Force Awakens, and I’m glad he got his proper share of spotlight here. I love the arc he went through and how he came to appreciate Vice Admiral Holdo’s leadership, even despite their differing approaches and distrust of each other. I think he’ll truly be able to step into Leia’s shoes as leader of the Rebellion in the future, now that he’s learned the value of human life over glory.

+The theme of rebellion being a symbol of hope to the oppressed, best exemplified by Rose and the other marginalized citizens of intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight. Yeah, I keep referencing Las Vegas when I talk about that planet, and yeah, they clearly modeled the look of the wealthy casinos and buildings off of it...but after having visited Vegas recently, and since I’m living in another wealthy tourist town myself (Anaheim), I must applaud the fact that they modeled the planet’s ugly underbelly to the same one that you can find in Vegas and cities like it, and actually took the time to discuss it. Where there is obscene wealth, there is also sickening, crippling poverty; where there is privilege, there will always be abuse. It ties back into the lesson Luke taught Rey about light and darkness -- how they constantly balance each other. But just like how Rey and Kylo mirror each other, being strong in the light and the darkness respectively, so too can rebellion become an equal to tyranny...and the end of the movie with the children likewise invigorated to take on the fight about to come left me feeling empowered.

+Finn’s arc from solely focusing on his friends and himself to seeing the Rebellion as something just as important to fight for. I’ve always seen Finn as a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin, morality-wise, in that he values his inner-circle over the whole world, but it was really neat to have him learn about how the world must be safe in order for the things he loves to be safe too.

+Kylo Ren killing Snoke. It felt in character and I think it will allow Kylo to go darker and become the real Big-Bad of the trilogy, since he won’t have to skirt around Snoke’s coattails anymore. Plus, admittedly, I always found Snoke sort of disappointing as Star Wars villains go, and I think it establishes how very treacherous the First Order is -- Kylo turned on Snoke, so who is to say Hux or any of his other subordinates won’t turn on Kylo? Unlike the Rebellion, whose bonds are strengthening, we’re already getting the hint of just how fragile the bonds binding the First Order together are...and that means Kylo has no one who he can truly rely on, unlike Rey, who of course has friends she can trust.

+I like that for all of the “mirroring” this film tried to do with Rey and Kylo, Rey still refused to follow him. She’s strong enough in herself and her moral compass to use her head and not trust him, even if he tries to lure her with knowledge of her parents and a promise of companionship. (I mean, seriously, Rey -- who gives a damn about your deadbeat parents, Finn and Poe and Chewie and BB-8 and Leia love you like few other things in this world! They’re your real family!)

+All of the actors gave very strong performances. I can honestly not pick out any weak links here -- they all gave it their all.

+The hacker character DJ I hope pops up again in the next movie. He seems like an interesting chaotic neutral character and since he didn’t get much of a resolution in this film, I look forward to what he’ll get in the next one.

+FINN KICKED CAPTAIN PHASMA’S ASS, HELLZ YEAH, THAT’S MY BOY. (Also, good to see Phasma having more screen time than in the last movie, even if it still wasn’t that much.)

The Not-So-Good...

+All the Reylo shipper fuel. *dodges knives* OKAY -- LISTEN. I do not support Rey/Kylo, and I probably never will, but shipping aside, here’s my problem with it -- the film did not properly convey why Rey has forgiven Kylo enough to let him into her mind. I’m sorry, it just didn’t. Kylo killed his father -- Rey’s mentor -- one of the first three protagonists that we all fell in love with in the original trilogy -- who went to bring his son back to the Light, only to get stabbed through the chest for his trouble. I just didn’t feel anything close to what Rey did when she started going, “Why? Why did you do it?” and questioning why Kylo destroyed the Jedi Temple -- I’m sorry, all I saw from Kylo in this film is that he was conflicted, not that he was sorry or had any interest in fixing his mistakes. It doesn’t matter if killing his father was painful for him -- it should be. He committed first-degree patricide. Feeling bad for your actions alone is not enough -- you then have to do something about it -- and Kylo did not do that. It felt like in some ways they were trying to parallel Padme and Anakin, where Padme likewise fruitlessly implores Anakin to come back to the Light Side even though it’s too late -- but there are a million and one differences between Anakin and Kylo, most relevant in this case being that Anakin’s reason to not turn back was out of misguided love for Padme (and later because he had no choice, since he’d alienated all of his allies and his suit basically left him tethered to Darth Sidious and the Empire), and that Kylo’s was to assert his loyalty to Snoke (and later to take vengeance against those who wronged him and assert his power). Anakin was trying to protect one of the people that meant the world to him after having known so little love in his life, while Kylo had a family who supported him, taught him, and trained him and he decided that Snoke’s approval and his own pride were more important than that. Anakin was raised to think that he was nothing -- a worthless slave -- while Kylo knew likely from the time he was very little that he was special and decided to act out because of it. Anakin’s initial fall was out of ignorance and a selfish kind of love, but Kylo’s was out of active vengeance, teenage angst, privileged frustration, and a toxic need to dominate and control. Snoke was right when he said that Kylo was no Vader, and that he instead was just a child -- he’s too immature to even acknowledge that his rationale for falling to the Dark Side and doing what he did was WRONG AND EVIL AND STUPID. That’s why I still don’t forgive Kylo Ren, that’s why I don’t think Rey should’ve been as open to him as she was, and that’s why I was satisfied by the ending where Kylo proved himself to be just as vile as I always thought he was, by blaming Snoke’s death on Rey so he can take over the First Order himself and go about terrorizing the galaxy. Someone who was truly sorry for what he’d done and had the capacity to change would’ve at the very least taken the “Zuko Alone” route and tried to recollect himself and redefine a new moral code that he can follow. As of now, the way things are now, I hope that in the final movie Kylo Ren burns, leaving nothing behind but a pile of ash, same as the Jedi Temple he burned to the ground.

+Rose/Finn. I know a few other people have said this, but...yeah. It was WAY too rushed. Honestly, the only thing I can hope for is that in the next film, Finn has to politely turn Rose’s feelings down, because honestly there was just not enough romantic chemistry built up between the two characters. I’m not a rabid Poe/Finn or Finn/Rey shipper, but I still think either of those couples had much more behind them than what this film gave Finn/Rose. Maybe this couple could’ve been written better, maybe it couldn’t have been, but regardless, it was a misstep for this film, the way it was handled.

+C3PO and R2D2 were pretty much dead weight in this movie. BB-8 remained relevant and necessary throughout the runtime, but our old veterans were basically props. They didn’t even really get that many laughs.

+Porgs may be cute, but...wow, were they oddly forgettable. I liked the crystal foxes (Vulptex?) much better.

I definitely look forward to seeing how this new trilogy ends. The messages and action of this movie definitely make me eager to see how the filmmakers will follow it up, and I hope that the few problems I did have are properly addressed. The new Star Wars trilogy is truly exciting...the possibility and potential for the next one truly are limitless, as far as I can see.

Overall Grade: B

[warnercreations]

“Ignorance is bliss ‘tis a folly to be wise”

These words by Thomas Grey referred to the inevitable suffering that resulted from “growing up”, he urged youngsters to stay innocent as long as possible.

But this is no Neverland, here we DO enter adulthood.

I love reading, but I am also a huge movie fan, and in my personal collection I own copies of “The Matrix” and “Pleasantville”. If there are any who have not watched both of these movies, then I would urge you to make a plan to do so. I was recently inspired to write a blog entry based on “Pleasantville”, but I’ve made dozens of false starts with this entry, and the words have not flowed… Then I realised something the other day, “Pleasantville” and “The Matrix” actually share a common theme.

Let me start closer to the beginning of this story;

I’ve been sorting out my life, reducing the clutter, organising those things that I choose to keep. I’m sure everyone who lived in the era of film photography has a box of photo prints lying around? Mine has been with me since the last photos I had taken somewhere around 2001, many of them have been water damaged during my homeless times, and others were of memories that up until recently retained enough painfulness for me to shy away from exposing them often.

But things change, and I’ve got to the point where I don’t mourn the loss of those “good times” as much as I enjoy the memories of them, so I started organising them into collages, and as I did I took photo’s of some of them and shared them with friends on social media.

Many people responded with “you looked so happy then”

I immediately got on the defensive!

It was my self analysis regarding WHY this got me on the defensive that led to this train of thought.

“You looked so HAPPY then…” ;

These days we have a camera embedded in a little device we carry with us all the time, not only that but the pictures it takes are of a high quality, instantly available and free! Back in the Jurassic Era I grew up in, cameras were not always on hand, film was expensive and so was processing that film into prints, and to top it all off, one waited a week for the film to be processed after handing it in at the newsagents or pharmacy. So having a photo taken was an occasion! And you only really took the trouble to carry the camera when there was a REASON to. And no, we didn’t take a photo to show how miserable we were! So largely old photo’s were a record of the good times! This accounts for a proportion of the apparent “happiness”…

In my reality MANY of the “occasions I refer to above were the times spent with my now ex-wife as we progressed from dating, to courtship and into marriage. She and I were separated by 1,100km (700miles) for the first 7 years of our relationship, not only that, but the cult religion she and I were born into forbid dating among those “not yet ready for marriage”; so for much of that time we conducted our relationship in secrecy. We would spend a few weeks together every six months during school vacations, and obviously these were wonderful times as we made up for the months of pining and misery in-between, and we took photos during those happy times to remember them and each other. We didn’t take photos when we cried during farewells, nor of the stress and worry inflicted on us by the punishment from the church elders for indiscretions like “holding hands”. So many of these photo’s were of short periods of intense happiness separated by months of misery and despair.

But, eventually we married, and set up home together, we progressed in our respective careers, we accumulated material possessions, and took full advantage of the glamour and entertainment available to a pair of yuppies in Cape Town during the 1990’s. We drove sports cars and motorcycles, we lived with a sea view, we dined at some of the finest restaurants in the world, we frequented the theatre, the Opera House and the music concerts. We hobnobbed with the rich and the famous, the beautiful and the talented. There was little reason NOT to be happy!

Some people pursue that lifestyle their whole lives, they sail through mild seas and keep close to the shore, where life is easier and safer, and more secure. They come home to the boring spouse and hide the secret lover, they live cautiously and retire comfortably. There is nothing WRONG with these choices, except that these individuals generally lack the imagination to empathise with what the “other people” go through.

I speak from experience here, I used to judge others harshly, as compared to my own frame of reference. I knew a girl who had had an abortion while she was a teenager, illegal back in the puritan “Old” South Africa, she lied to her parents and the authorities and claimed to have been raped by “a Black man”, which of course ensured a legal abortion. My then Wife and I were extremely judgemental towards her and her morals. I would publicly attack smokers whose smoke intruded into my space. I would proudly assert that our Christian morals and stance against blood transfusions made us immune to the AIDS epidemic of the time. I judged those who were unfaithful to their spouses as hypocrites and sinners. I believed that only those of my Religious Sect would be saved from imminent destruction! Those who were not able to pay their monthly bills were wasteful and undisciplined.

When my wife admitted to having had an affair, I felt somewhat less invulnerable to STD infection. When I was comforted by that same woman who had had the abortion and ended up in her bed, I felt less self-righteous. When the divorce blew down the house of cards of my debt-based finances, I felt less fiscally disciplined. When I got hooked on tobacco during a drunken party I felt ashamed of how I shouted at those whose smoke drifted my way. When I ended up in a relationship with a separated, but still legally married woman, I felt hypocritical.

Unlike Neo in the Matrix, I never made the conscious choice to swallow the Red Pill, someone must’ve slipped it into my drink while I wasn’t watching!

“Spirituality” is somewhat of a fad at present, people wear it like a religion and they believe that “Spiritual Awakening” occurs wearing Yoga Pants, sitting in the Lotus Position chanting Ohmmmm.

In my case it came disguised as depression and self-destruction.

For Me, “Spiritual Awakening” wasn’t building a temple in the mountains, it was tearing down and setting fire to everything I owned so that something new could be built on the scorched earth left behind.

I found a major flaw in much of the teachings of The Law of Attraction, it is this concentration on consumerism. Much of the focus of many of the teachers is on Material Wealth…

Actually, maybe that is all as it should be, because again, I must correct my line of reasoning, The Law of Attraction is of itself not about spirituality, it may borrow from many of the practices of Spirituality such as Meditation, and entering into elevated states of consciousness, but at the root of it all, it is about manifesting change in our lives, rather than about embracing change in our lives. Do you pick up the difference? MANIFESTING change is about making a choice as to what we choose, EMBRACING change is about adapting to changes in our lives.

We live in a global society that has manufactured a set of standards to which we are expected to conform. This I guess is what we refer to as our “civilisation”. Consumerism is the central ideology of this global civilisation, and it is imposed upon us from the moment of birth, some may argue that it begins even before that.

The best neo-natal care and nutrition creates physically superior bodies

The best educational toys creates superior intellectual abilities

The best dental care creates an attractive smile

The best juvenile nutrition ensures a pattern of healthy eating

The best schooling ensures qualification to attend the best Universities and Colleges

The best Universities and Colleges ensures superior earning potential

The best Looking, best educated and higher earning individuals attract the best Looking, best educated and higher earning spouses.

The best Looking, best educated and higher earning couples have the potential to breed superior offspring…

The unfortunate results of the rutting of the less privileged start life with a disadvantage…

And how do we show that we are successful in this civilization? By what we own, by what we drive, by what we wear, by whom we mate with.

A year ago, I found myself in a very dark place. I was chronologically in the middle of a conflict with a family member, what started out as a simple disagreement over taking sides in a couple’s divorce escalated as neither of us was prepared to back down. Insults were traded until eventually he struck the blow below the belt that knocked me for the count… He asserted that I am a failure in life, and while I intellectually knew that to be rubbish spouted by an ageing narcissist, I saw myself through his eyes and that was very painful for me.

For some time now I believe that I have seen through this whole Zeitgeist, I see how we are manipulated into what to wear, and how to act, who to have sex with and where to live, what to drive and where to drive to. I came to understand how we are manipulated into religious, nationalistic, racial and cultural divisions so that we can be controlled and played like the pawns that we choose to be.

Once you understand these things, then clothes become something to keep us warm and protected, covering our nakedness because the alternative is legally and culturally unacceptable. A vehicle becomes a tool, a means to travel and transport goods from place to place. A cellphone ceases to be a status symbol, but becomes a communications tool and portable computer. A dwelling becomes a shelter. A life partner is chosen on merit rather than the standards of physical beauty created by the fashion industry.

But this person asserted that I was lazy, that my “messing around building furniture” was not an acceptable vocation, that my vehicles and my appearance are a disgrace. More than that he announced these things on public forums from where I conduct business.

Now as I said before, INTELLECTUALLY I understand that all of what this person was accusing me of was based on his own desperate clinging to the illusion he believes to be reality.

“Those still invested in the illusion hate those who have woken up” – Kim Warner

But my own self-esteem was fragile enough to take this to heart, and I did!

Healing was a slow process because as ones self-esteem is damaged so things collapse, and no matter what we may or may not believe about the Law of Attraction, when we feeling bad about ourselves, bad things seem to happen to us.

Self-Love is not vanity, that was something I had to teach myself ever since my mother and her Cult indoctrinated me to the contrary. No, Self-Love is vital, it it taking care of yourself first because when you give everything to someone else and have nothing left for yourself, then no one is there to help you. Self-Love is taking a vacation so that you become recharged. Self-Love is spending the money to go to the Doctor and the Optometrist so that you can function better. Self-Love is building something beautiful for YOURSELF

Self Love is making Collages out of your old photos so that you can remember the happy times.

This brings me back to those two movies, The Matrix was about seeing through the artificial, superficial illusion that we are conditioned into believing to be real. Pleasantville is about two modern teenagers who are transported back into the black and white world of a 1950’s television sitcom. In Pleasantville, everything was “pleasant” the Fire Department’s only task was rescuing cats out of trees, because fire did not exist, sex didn’t exist, art didn’t exist, not as a form of expression anyway, music was “pleasant”, everybody was “pleasant” to each other and even the weather was “pleasant” all the time, it never even rained in “Pleasantville”.

As these two teenagers interacted with these “pleasant” people they caused a chain reaction. The girl, played by Reese Witherspoon was a stereotypically sexually promiscuous cheerleader, and she introduced the “Pleasantville” teenagers to sex, Tobey Maguire, who played the nerdish boy introduced the citizens of “Pleasantville” to such concepts as art appreciation and taught the Fire Department how to extinguish a fire…

As people were influenced, they appeared in full colour, some were ashamed of this and tried to hide their “colour” behind makeup and clothing, others flaunted it. Life became less and less “Pleasant” in “Pleasantville”, adultery, rioting, fires, mob-justice, segregation all became part of life in “Pleasantville”, but the other side-effect was that people grew, that while life was no longer always “pleasant”, it could also reach heights of bliss and valleys of despair.

The hero of “The Matrix” chose to take the Red Pill, and as a result he was ejected from the comfortable illusion and subjected to the harsh life of a resistance fighter. Like me, the residents of “Pleasantville” never got to consciously choose, but each of them grew exponentially as a person.

I reacted SO defensively to “you looked so happy then”, because that was the bliss of ignorance, not the satisfaction of being fully awake in a world of sleepwalkers.

Go Forth and BE AWESOME

All My Love

Kim

Happiness and the Illusion “Ignorance is bliss ‘tis a folly to be wise” These words by Thomas Grey referred to the inevitable suffering that resulted from “growing up”, he urged youngsters to stay innocent as long as possible.

[mst3kproject]

Hercules

Now that we’ve all seen Starcrash, I’m sure we can agree that there was only one question on our minds while we watched it – namely, what would happen if the same group of people got back together and made a Hercules movie?

Well, okay... it was probably more like “what drugs were these people on?” or “what terrible secret did Christopher Plummer have, and who found out about it and blackmailed him into this movie?” or even “who was wearing more eye makeup, Caroline Munro or David Hasslehoff?” but I don’t have answers to any of those questions.  I can, however, answer the Hercules one, because that's more or less exactly what we have here: Luigi Cozzi, Golan and Globus, and their insane design team made a Hercules movie, and it's a legitimate fucking masterpiece.  If not the Mona Lisa of terrible movies, this is at least the School of Athens. I found the DVD in the ninety-nine cent bin at Zellers back when Zellers was a thing, and it was the best dollar and six pennies I ever spent (pennies were a thing then, too).

The so-called plot is an absurd mess.  It's as if one movie starts, then another, then a third, and it's only by complete accident that most of the threads are sort-of-but-not-really tied up by the end.  After the most confusing history of the universe you will ever hear, the god Zeus creates Hercules to be a hero among men and sends him to be incarnated as the prince of Thebes.  Sadly Zeus' timing is not very good, for shortly thereafter the King and Queen of Thebes are overthrown and murdered by agents of the evil King Minos of Thera, and baby Hercules is saved only by his nanny putting him in a boat to drift downstream and be found and adopted by some childless peasants.  So surely this story will be about Hercules discovering his royal heritage and reclaiming the throne, right?

Nope! Our hero's origin story is more or less immediately forgotten.  He grows up on the farm, doing useful chores like uprooting stumps and pulling a triple plough, only to be tragically orphaned again. First a bear mauls his adoptive father, and then his mom is killed by a giant robotic fly created by Deadalus, goddess of science, at Minos' behest.  Okay, so this movie is going to be about Hercules searching for the killer of his adopted parents and taking revenge for that, right?

Still no!  Instead of setting out on a quest for vengeance, Hercules rather more practically goes looking for a job. This brings him to the court of King Augeas, who needs a new bodyguard for his beautiful, be-veiled daughter Cassiopeia. Herc gets himself hired but falls in love with the princess he's supposed to be protecting, whereupon Zeus for some reason strikes them with a lightning bolt.  Maybe this is because Cassiopeia is already supposed to marry somebody else, but I can't see that mattering to Zeus of all dieties.  The lightning incapacitates the lovers, so Minos and his daughter Adriana kidnap Cassiopeia in order to sacrifice her to the phoenix who lives in their volcano.  So the movie's gonna be about Hercules rescuing his true love and taking her home to marry her with her father’s blessing, right?

Well... sort of.  We never do see King Augeas again or meet Cassiopeia's original fiance, but after considerable sidetracking Hercules does manage to save her from the Phoenix.  In the process he also defeats Minos and Adriana, but I'm not sure whether he has any idea that Minos is the one who killed both sets of his parents.  It's apparently important that the Phoenix is now free from Minos and 'its fire can serve the universe', but this comes out of nowhere and I'm not sure what it means.  At the end, Hercules and Cassiopeia kiss and then ascend to the stars.  Over the course of the story, Hercules did a number of 'heroic' things like separating Europe from Africa, slaying some monsters, and retrieving Circe the Sorceress' amulet from hell, but there's no real sense of him having 'saved the world'.

The ending still kind of works, though, possibly because nothing else in the film makes any sense either.  Hercules has shown us a bunch of scenes that don't really fit together into a coherent narrative but kind of look like a movie, so as long as the ending kind of looks like an ending, it's a fitting close.

If you want humour, the major source of giggles in Hercules is the special effects.  These are a mix of poorly-chosen and poorly-executed, often both, and sometimes one and then the other in succession.  The only effects moment I can think of that looks all right is Hercules pushing Spain and Morocco apart – and it comes only seconds after the utterly ridiculous shot  of him growing to enormous size to accomplish the deed! Swordfights are accompanied by flashing lights and laser noises.  The miniature robots are atrocious.  Hercules beats up the bear that killed his adoptive father and then throws it into space, as represented by a shot of a completely stiff model bear in a crucifix position tumbling head over teakettle into a starfield. I've only got room for one screenshot here, though, so my vote for the worst effect in the entire movie is the moment when Zeus' hand reaches out of a waterfall to catch the boat with baby Hercules in it.  It looks like a plasticine octopus.  It's so awful, the first time I saw it I nearly pissed myself laughing.

The movie's attempt at mythology is not even worth mentioning.  Names appear out of a dozen different stories, many of them in places that have nothing to do with the characters they're supposed to belong to.  Cassiopeia, for example, was the mother of Andromeda in the legend of Perseus – she had nothing to do with Hercules. Daedalus was a male human inventor whom Minos imprisoned, not a hermaphrodite deity he worshipped.  Circe lived on one of the islands in The Odyssey, and never met Hercules – she doesn't even turn anybody into a pig in this movie.  The one thing Circe is known for in popular culture to this day is turning people into pigs!  Ducktales knew that, for crying out loud!  Why would you put Circe in your movie and not turn anybody into a pig?

There's exactly one place in the movie where it really got its mythology right, and weirdly enough it's something almost everybody gets wrong. The container given to Pandora was a pithos – a clay pot – rather than a box.  How did Hercules get that right while screwing up practically everything else?  The Italian Wikipedia article for 'Pandora's Box' is titled Vaso di Pandora, even though the illustration on the page shows a box, so it appears the correct translation is common knowledge there.  That explains it... and then, having done that right, the movie dives cheerfully back into its totally bullshit creation story about how the planets formed from the pieces of the broken jar!

Does any of this matter?  Well, no, not really.  The whole movie is so completely divorced from its source material that it's hard to even think of it as Greek mythology.  It's more a piece of particularly bizarre heroic fantasy with some mythologically-inspired names. Between the weird sound effects, colourful stars, robotic monsters, and jarring appearance of a literal rainbow bridge, it feels like what you might have got if the early eighties had tried to make a Thor movie.

Is Hercules trying to say anything?  Rather shockingly, I think it is. Throughout the film runs a theme of science as being something opposed to the gods.  Plenty of movies have tried to take a look at the complicated relationships between science, magic, and religion, but Hercules goes about it in a particularly strange way.  After all, this is a world in which the gods actually exist. How can Minos talk about science when he's standing on the moon talking to a divinity, and when his secret weapons are a fiery bird and a magical sword?

I think maybe what this is getting at is that science is how humans become gods, by learning to do things that only the gods ought to be able to do.  Either that, or once we have science and technology, humans no longer need gods, either for protection or as an explanation for what's going on around us.  If either of these is what was intended, it's pretty muddled... not least by the fact that in the final battle, science loses and the gods, via their champion Hercules, win!  What are we supposed to learn from this?  Should we put curiosity aside and go back to trusting in deities to make the world work?  Or does this dichotomy actually mean anything at all?  Maybe somebody just thought it sounded cool, and I'm seeing meaning where none exists.

The only place where I'm confident that somebody was making a point was with the figure of Daedalus, goddess of science – I'm  not sure 'goddess' is the right word here, but I don't know what else to call her.  Daedalus is played by trans actress Eva Robin's (that's how she spells it), and wears a costume with both a sweetheart neckline and a codpiece to emphasize her nontraditional gender.  The gods of Greek mythology were male and female, and susceptible to the passions of lust and jealousy that go with that – Daedalus, as personification of science, is not subject to such irrational emotions.  She is male and female, both and neither, in a single body.  I'm not sure what this says about Luigi Cozzi's views of trans people, but it does seem to be the only place where anybody thought about the theme very hard.

So yeah, Hercules seriously is all-around terrible in every possible way – and it's one of my favourite movies ever.  If I had to pick one movie to watch every day for the rest of my life, Hercules would be on the short list with real movies like Back to the Future, The Martian, and Lilo and Stitch. It misses out on being my favourite Hercules movie only because the Disney version had catchier music.  This is not only the Starcrash of Hercules movies, it's also the Space Mutiny, entertaining in its very incompetence, and I love it.  Wait'll you see the sequel!

[athyriiium]

Okay, I’m back at it again with another long ass, symbolism heavy theory. I would heavily suggest reading my other theory here before you read this one since I will be referencing that one often in this. There’s a tl;dr at the bottom fyi!

To begin, the symbolism and art shown in Blood, Sweat, and Tears (BST) is very religion heavy. It is to be expected when pulling from work from the 17-18th centuries. I’ve seen some people theorize that Jin is the one behind all the “evil” the boys have done in RUN and I Need U (INU). I agree with this, though I don’t think he is necessarily evil, but more of a tempter.

In my previous theory, I discussed how I believed Jin to be Sinclair and Tae to be Demian, acting as a force to influence Sinclair as a mentor. I still believe that to be true. Each boy has his own storyline that is tied back to Jin, including Tae, but it’s a little confusing.

Let me backtrack: When Jin kisses the statue like Sinclair kisses Demian, they become one. Sinclair talks about not being able to see Demian anymore and realizes Demian was just a part of himself. So the metaphorical Tae that I spoke about previously is a part of Jin. Jin has realized himself fully and has accepted both the light and darkness in his life.

I also heavily discussed the concept of duality in my last post. There is the “other world” as Sinclair often mentions it which is the darker side of the world, which also means there is a light side of the world. This is a limited, binary viewpoint though. And the Spring Day mv told us there is more to the world than that through the usage of “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” (short story) and “Snowpiercer” (film). Both stories show there are sides of gray in life. In the Omelas story, everyone is happy enjoying life at the expense of a miserable child. The knowledge of the child gets out and there are people who live that can’t live a life of blind happiness at the expense of others. BTS are the ones who walk away from the feeling of blindness and absolute happiness.

Snowpiercer is a film that depicts an apocalyptic world in which the last surviving humans live on a train. It is best known for its blatant ridicule of the class system but also depicts two sides of life. The tail end or back end of the train is where the poor are, living in oppressed squalor while the head of the train lives in complete luxury. But, both ends of the train are blind to the truth. They accept the train as the world, it’s safety and warmth. The middle of the train is the only place with windows where you can see out of the train. The middle of the train people, or middle class, are the ones who are educated with propaganda instructing them that the train is the world. BTS are those of the middle class, but also the two middle-class people who eventually escape the train. They sit and accept the truth that they are told until they see the colors of gray, or the world around them, and eventually leave the train.

Now you might be asking what about the two Jungkooks? That’s where the concept of duality comes in. the train JK sees the Omelas JK and that’s the spark to leave. Train JK is the passive one who accepts the truth, while Omelas JK is the boy who defies what is given to him. This is the spark to leave the train and explore the outside world. But I digress. Let me get back to the JPN BST mv.

The concept of this passive vs active duality is also seen in Jin especially in the newest JPN BST mv. Jin has been seen very passive around the boys, never really joining in on the fun just standing on the sidelines and filming. There is plenty of evidence out there, but if you want specifics let me know.

The Jin in the JPN BST mv, is not like that at all. He seems to play an active, almost antagonistic role. So, as I said there is lots of religious symbolism in the BST mvs and to explain what I think happens in the JPN ver I have to use some material from the KOR ver.

So I believe Jin is the tempter, acting as the snake (and depending on who you talk to, indirectly the Devil) in the story of Adam and Eve. After going back to watch the KOR BST it makes more sense since Jin was shown while Namjoon quoted the Demian line about Demian being a tempter. This may seem far-fetched but hear me out.

Jimin, who was seated on Jin’s left in the KOR ver BST table scene, is often showed with apples. It is seen in the JPN BST, KOR BST, and Jimin’s short film. Apples, in the biblical sense, are tied to Adam and Eve. To briefly recap the story, Adam and Eve were the first humans created. They were allowed to eat, use, and generally do anything in the Garden of Eden except eat from the Tree of Knowledge. A serpent tempts and eventually convinces her to do so to “open her eyes” to be like “God, knowing all good and evil”. After she eats the fruit, she shares with Adam and both are condemned by God and sent out of the Garden of Eden.

I didn’t put this together until seeing Jimin finally eat the apple in the JPN BST. He’s just been holding it or looking at it up until now like he was tempted. Jimin, also being on Jin’s left, is important. The left side in many people who believe in the bible is associated with Satan/the Devil. I’m not saying Jin is the devil. Some people believe the snake was Satan in disguise, but I think it’s more of a vector of temptation sent to taint God’s creations. But this isn’t the time for bible debate.

It also fits because the serpent implies that Eve’s eyes have been closed. Jimin is also often seen with a blindfold or having his vision blocked, by a certain someone (Yoongi). I thought previously that Jimin was turning a blind eye to something, ignoring something that was causing him pain, and I do still believe that, but I also think it has another meaning. If the serpent convinced Eve that she was blind, that she couldn’t see everything, then wouldn’t she think of herself as blindfolded? Then wouldn’t the one blindfolding her, be God? Just as I am not saying Jin is the Devil, I don’t think Yoongi is God. He is symbolic of him. Yoongi serves as a protection/barricade between Jimin and Jin. He doesn’t want Jimin to follow Jin into darkness. That’s why we see two Jimin’s. The one Yoongi protects, and the one that follows Jin into darkness.

So if Yoongi is symbolic of God, how come he fights Kookie in RUN? Many times in the bible, God is shown, for lack of a better term, a practitioner of tough love. See Noah’s ark for example, where floods come and kill many people and animals except for the one’s on Noah’s ark besides the people had lost the way of God. The people killed were the descendants of Adam and Eve, who I believe are the other boys since Jimin and Tae were the first tempted.

So if Jimin is symbolic of Eve, Yoongi of God, and Jin of the Devil, then who is Adam? At first, I thought it was Hobi since he is OFTEN seen with Jimin, but I have Hobi has something else going on I will get to soon. So that lead me to Tae. We see Tae struggling with temptation/sin often. The act of graffiti and an insane amount of suicide imagery associated with him in HYYH is too overwhelming.

Tae sits on the right of Jin in the KOR BST mv. If the left is associated with evil, then the right is associated with good. Tae was “good” which is why there is so much angelic symbolism near him. But, he was tempted, probably by Jimin since he is symbolic of Eve and Eve is the one who gives Adam the fruit to eat.

Jin, could also have been the one to tempt Tae and the other boys since in the KOR BST all the boys are shown around a table with no real food besides apples in front of them. So, Tae and Jimin are the first ones tempted.

Now, when Adam and eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, they could no longer understand the word of God, since they were no longer his children. So this leads me to believe that nothing heavenly could help either of them. Which is where Hobi and Namjoon come in.

I’ll start with Namjoon, since his story is somewhat laid out already. Many times Namjoon is shown running to a telephone booth and many people assume it’s because Tae is calling based off evidence from Namjoon and Tae’s films. But, Namjoon is never able to reach the phone or get into the booth. So, since Namjoon isn’t tempted YET, he is still considered heavenly, therefore, he can never help Tae.

Namjoon is eventually tempted and falls into alcohol, specifically absinthe. Absinthe is portrayed as an addictive, alcoholic hallucinogen. So he becomes addicted to drinking the beverage and eventually forces Jungkook to drink it (seen in the JPN BST mv). But, I don’t think Namjoon falls as deeply into temptation as Tae does. He learns to accept it. Namjoon is shown around a lot of mirrors either obscuring his reflection (JPN INU) or shattering the glass (Reflection). But, in JPN BST he is shown looking directly into his reflection. He’s learned to accept temptation as a part of himself. Reflections are often symbolic of showing one's true self which is why we say Jin’s reflection crack in KOR BST bc he hasn’t accepted his whole self (passive and active).

Before I get to Hobi, I’m going to finish Jungkook’s story. Before, I wasn’t sure where Kookie sat in the Demian/Sinclair story. I believed he was “Beatrice” but since he is often on the outskirts dipping his toes in good and evil I think he is symbolic of Abraxus. We don’t know who convinced the boys to leave Omelas, but from what I discussed earlier, it was most likely Kookie who convinced the boys to leave the train in Spring Day. He also tries to help Yoongi in RUN, who is struggling with his own problems. This is the good Kookie dabbles in. The bad is all the new stuff we saw in the JPN BST mv: the hallucinations and fighting off Yoongi who is trying to help him. Also, depending on what theory you believe, the shooting of the other boys in Not Today.

Now last but not least, Hobi. I think Hobi was once tempted, proven by the abuse of pills. But rather than accept temptation, he rejects it and fights it. This is seen by the throwing away of his pills, twice now. We also often see Hobi pulling a bow and arrow and now a dart on those tempted, usually Tae. Now, I believe Tae has fallen deepest into temptation and Hobi mourns the loss of his friends' purity, shown by the Pieta in KOR BST. He takes on the biggest challenge first, Tae. Which is why we see him throwing or going to throw the dart at Tae in JPN BST and pull the bow at Tae in KOR BST. Hobi is the descendant that God spoke of when cursing the serpent. God said that Eve’s descendant will bruise his foot by smashing the head of the snake. Basically, he will have to sacrifice something to get rid of the tempting serpent.

Hobi is also shown dancing under the fresco painted on St. Nicholas’ ceiling painted by Guilio Quaglio. I can't find a lot of info on the painting but it looks like a depiction of a world of light or heaven? So it looks like Hobi is reaching for salvation, but he isn’t the only one. Jimin is too.

Jimin, aka Eve, has realized what he has done wrong and has suffered for it. She lost her son Abel at the hands of her son Cain and was placed with pain after she was cast out of the Garden of Eden. This is why we see Jimin suffering/being uncomfortable so much while in water. Water is symbolic of purification, so Jimin is repenting for his wrongdoings but is also suffering because of the temptation he gave into.

We also see Jin circa INU era twice in this mv. Once in the bed of the truck, lying similarly to how he is lying in the bed in INU. In INU lilies are very present. They are also present in BST. Lilies symbolize innocence after death. Passive Jin wants to be innocent after he dies but is prevented from that because of tempter!Jin. This is why the lily petals are burned; all hope of innocence after death is gone. I believe both Jin’s are aware of each other having met in the Awake film, but since tempter Jin is the stronger personality, he has prevented watcher Jin from moving on. Which is why he is still interacting with the boys in the INU era but only passively.

The scene at the end of the mv is one of the first setups to Jin’s temptation of Namjoon. We see the effects in the INU era.

TL;DR: as seen in INU there are two sides to youth: the dark and light. This is further expressed in RUN and BST (both versions). Each boy has a doppelganger, opposite from what they are typically shown to be. Jin’s doppelganger, the tempter, has tempted the boys to do things they shouldn’t seen in RUN and INU. Hobi, the savior, is trying to fight Jin’s hold on the boys.