#I should probably be doing my projects tho
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Wearing a cowboy hat today and honestly I get it. Michael Walters has the right idea
#camera talks#guys I’m not even kidding I feel so good and calm rn it’s kinda silly#I have like 3 projects I should be freaking out about and I’m just like. hmm yep okay pard#I love this hat ngl#the vibe is great#wbg#woe.begone#I should probably be doing my projects tho#whatever <33 cowboy time#the cowboyification is real irl too
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no yeah miri's mom was NOT the ""villain"" and she definitely was not presented as such either.
with the smile spell miri mentioned earlier, and just overall despite the situation she was forced into, misaki clearly did her best with miri even with her conflicting emotions.
the only obviously "bad" choice shes made so far was sending miri, a 4 y/o all alone into the city but 💀 to some degree the thought of sending her to be with her dad is also. yeah. like shes not in a place where she can take care of miri properly, and even if miri seemed to be some sort of... bargaining chip?? miris dad has the resources to help miri more than her mom could
and kazuki isnt the ""good guy"" either nor was the situation presented as so black and white. both parties said things that they've internalized due to their own separate situations, and while kazuki was mostly projecting due to his own losses and experiences, itd be good if he manages to learn about some other worldviews.
but yeah tldr: neither misaki nor kazuki were villains, and they werent PRESENTED as such either. they just said whatever and you the viewer have to interpret it.
i am aware a lot of series often demonize women who dont want their children or are in similar situations etc. but thats not what happened here luckily
#linpost#buddy daddies#buddy daddies spoilers#im really hoping we see her again but NOT as a guardian or whatever. maybe she can like officially ''approve'' kazurei taking miri in#or something bc she KNOWS shes not fit to take care of a child especially with her situation and mental state#and tht shouldnt be demonized#i hope she gets to reach whatever dreams she had that got put on hold :'( not miris fault but its not hers either these things have nuance#the dad kinda sucks tho as far as we can tell. as well as the other guy in the bar#but yeah even if she DOES get into a good situation they should not force her to take miri in#i honestly have some hopes for this series so i doubt they would do that but its worth saying anyway#miri deserves better but yknow shes getting it now and misaki put up with a lot and also DIDNT do a lot of worse things#miri was clothed and fed and cared for while she was with her mom#neglect is something that sucks and its really sad that miri isnt wanted bc she probably knew that#(not i want to go back with my mom but i want mom to be happy)#but misakis situation is also too bad. and kazuki losing his unborn child and projecting is also too bad. its all just too bad
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very curious if our society (youtube) has evolved to producing twenty-four-hour length video essays yet. bc ik on average the video essays i watch tend to be around an hour, some shorter some longer but this is my preferred length, 2-3 hours is on the longer side for me but if it's a topic i'm into or a creator i like i'm down for it, longest i've personally watched is 5-ish hours (tho that one was broken up into a lot of smaller segments and not meant to be consumed in one sitting) but i know for a fact there are much longer video essays out there. the longest i've seen in my recommended is eleven hours but i know there must be more out there. what is the video essay event horizon? have we reached "videos of nerds (complimentary) infodumping about niche topics which would take an entire day nonstop to consume"
#yes i am a video essay enjoyer if you couldn't tell#longest video on my ''favorite video essays'' playlist is ''understanding snapewives'' by biz barclay which is just under 3 hours#(10/10 recommend even outside of the fandom history there's a lot of fascinating stuff about religion and how we connect to media)#(and it's very well researched)#i think the longest i've watched is babbity kate's deep dive into the american girl doll ''kirsten''#which covered every piece of kirsten media ever created and analyzed the historical accuracy#kate's planning on doing a series like this for every american girl doll in release order which i'm excited for#i didn't even like kirsten as a kid but the video was very well done and engaging even if you're not as big of a doll fan as she is#longest i've had recommended to me is ''a brief retrospective of the simpsons' golden age'' which is ELEVEN HOURS#but i'm very tempted to watch it bc i am a simpsons nerd and it seems to be divided into smaller essays season by season#i think i saw a tumblr post about a fnaf lore video essay that was ridiculously long but idk if that was longer than 11 hours#i should also make a poll about preferred video essay length bc idk if my opinion is the majority#most of my favorites are 45 minutes to 1 hour 30 minutes. if it's too short (like less than 20 minutes) i'll skip it#(unless it's a creator i like who wanted to put out something short between big projects)#and if it's too long (over 3 hours) i have to be in the right mood even tho it'll probably be multiple sittings to finish it#(again unless it's a creator and topic i like and it's something i've been waiting to hear their thoughts on)
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it is Extremely funny that the whole watcher thing just ended after one weekend of people being like hey this was poorly thought out and a terrible idea. lmao. cringe fail financial decision.
#i think where they ended up makes plenty of sense! it's just an alternative to patreon tho#like i like their content i'll probably still watch ghost files and mystery files and if they bring back their scary stories one#the one with the cool art not the one where they get drunk I don't like that one as much#but i don't care enough to pay 6 bucks a month#they would have just lost me as a viewer entirely lol#also tbf i have adblock and sponsor block on my youtube so I don't see ads or even sponsored sections of videos#so i'm still not really helping them earn money lol#i just feel like they were aiming for something like dropout which works bc a) the number of projects dropout makes#b) the huge cast across all of their shows#and c) a much more established brand even at the time of their shift to streaming#also the fact that dropout puts out multiple episodes of different shows a week lol#and they needed to go more like mythical society from rhett and link#which is pretty much just patreon with enough extra perks that people are extra inclined to buy into it#like with mythical society people who pay more get physical perks like exclusive merch and free items every few months#plus a ton of extra content like bts stuff and extra episodes of certain things#that's what they should do. imo.#anyway. ive been giggling at this all weekend
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i'm going to explode im going to explode im going to explode
#my post#successfully didn't cry on my zoom call with my advisors for my senior project for little clear reason other than general stress#like i know that the reason why you have to do a big mostly independent project is so that you get good at handling them but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa#nothing's happened. im already behind. i should try to get ahead? my timeline kinda sucks. I haven't started the literature review.#i know my want of having a project that's like... fun. was impossible but. hell on earth (has barely even started)#i'm starting to think more and more i'm not actually cut out for science. maybe i just like science communication lmao.#i know that's an overreaction but my work ethic is fucking shit for the fact i've been an honors student since... what like 1st grade?#i like learning i just hate the work that's supposed to come with it. i want my cake and i want to eat it too.#so the idea of fucking self monitoring my work. i'll probably be fine but i have to pre-emptively freak out and cry about it so.#guess if we get the crying about it done now then i'll have more time in my schedule for the insane bullshit I will be pulling later.#a normal semester (the heavier semester of the senior project and research again probably#and being the lead undergrad TA for one of the most insane classes i've heard of (it's 4 credits in a quarter) and 3 classes#(tho one is a freebie and the other shouldn't be Too much. the last one probably Will be a lot.)#time to go slam more video essays into my brain i suppose
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#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak#who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad#and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur#research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a#bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way#i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit#i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like#i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt#wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide#stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the#predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing#i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just#send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel#ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart#ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run#this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated
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stg as soon as i make it through this semester im gonna reread tgcf
i actually still haven't read the entirety of the 7seas tl bc it wasn't all out on my last read and i got impatient sjxkd but!! with the revised version finally out and some lovely ppl having translated the chapters with big changes I think it'll be fun to read them together :D
#tragically cant learn an entire language super fast to be able to read the revised version directly#tho i might be taking an intro cn class next semester if my major change pans out how i think it will#miiiight be a mistake since im still committed to strengthening my Japanese but uhh we'll see#it seems like it'd be fun!! probably way more difficult than intro jp for me tho#wayy less prior experience with the language#realistically if i need another language for credit i should do Korean since it has similar grammar to jp#but alas i am governed by my interests#jay yells#anyway. one more week. just gotta do final projects and exams.. hhhhh
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loving the most annoying man you know aint easy but its honest work
#um. i have many of these now#this is just going to be a doodle blog for now ig KJHGFDS#am i manic? actually i dont know. but i do know ive been nonstop drawing runnin around doin stuff etc etc#i have about 5? projects ongoing right now#guess ill be posting about those more soon. most are OC projects tho. theyll go on my other blog#jdate#john dies at the end#cheesewong#johndave#my art#doodles#anyway. happy midnight! i should go sleep. .....i probably will not lkjhgfd
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#idk im sleepy have another poll#I'm finishing my last 3 artfight attacks rn#bc even tho i have manymanymany cool characters saved#i am vv sleepy and also i have a gazillion other project ideas i want 2 fuck with#such as maybe working on a lil comic#or finishing the gem au designs#@ least the ones i already have been working on. i have drafts of lucifer and levi but havent finished either of them#which i probably should b4 i start doing fusions#eh#anyway#lmk what u think#elliot rambles#poll#color wheel challenge
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what do u meannnnnnn i'm abt to be post college graduation 🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️
#apparnelty some family friends coming to my graudation#bc ig i'm the first in the generation to graduate or whatever the fuck#and like whatever that's fine but ffs i wish they would've come to my show instead#that i co directed and literally love sos o so oso sosososoososooo much#so so so proud of that#i don't give a shit abt my graduation tbh lmfao TT#so it lowkey doesn't mean much to me that they want to come to my graduation ;-;#it would've meant so fucking much if i knew they would be able to come#and want to see that and i could like suggest hey instead come see this show LMAO#like it probably wouldn't have happened but whatever#also just like i have like no motivation and no interest in stats at this point lmfao#ALSO bc these ppl all gonna be fucking talking abotu and asking abt what i'm doing after#I DON'T KNOWWWWW what i'm fucking doingggggggg#i alr get enough talk from my mom abt how i'm not applying to enough jobs#i dont need family friends to also be asking me and my answer just being ha idk#i'm fucking staying at college tho like on campus bc i'm a fucking loser and don't want to move on#like not rly. i'm kinda trying to see it as like#the alternative would've been me at home being a loser lol#and that would've been so annoying and even if this isn't the 'right' thing to do or most traditional#at least i'm choosing to do it ig#and i get to stay in this club w my bestestestestest friends for another yr#idc if i'm like not moving on when i should LOL too bad for me that's a future problem#and also kinda figure out this weird right after college time period w my friend who i'm rooming with#ok. slay that was. acool turnaround from me lmfao just . yeah ok that's the positive side ig lmao#anyway i also dont give a shit about graduation bc i hate my university rn lmfao :) and the world is burning down#jeanne talks#i am . procrastinating#imagine knowing what the fuck i learned in this class this whole semester#ugh literally two group projects to end on and two of the most boring annoying group project experiences i've had LMAO
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hes doing linear algebra👍
danny design is mostly from the amazing @/nicktoonsunite !
#danny is just wearing basically what i was wearing today lmao. sketched this IN my linear algebra class#trying to explore different coloring styles... and fun poses!#ok now fun details u get if u like to look at tags: dannys shirt is the album cover of earthhammer's single arboretum dance#which i listened to while drawing this. hes doing matrix multiplication but the writing is pretty crunched so u cant tell#i think danny would enjoy learning at his own pace/style once he graduates high school. i dont think hed go to college immediately or even#consider it until hes years older - i think hes more kinetic and maybe goes into a trade.... mechanic maybe?#i totally project tho so danny loves math <3 he rlly enjoys discrete whereas jimmy is more into calculus.... they argue over this a lot#also danny should probably be wearing glasses as per iz's design buuuut i got lazy :P#anyways <3 i did avoid MY linear algebra hw to color + polish this....#ok tags now:#danny fenton#nicktoons unite!#<- ostensibly - this is set in the NU! aged up au from nicktoonsunite so its going in the tag#danny phantom
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Sent the fuckign project
#bouldering#what do I do now?#alleged grade 4 btw#anyway I guess I need a new fuckign project now#maybe I should go frequent the other bouldering gym there's a v fun and v cool slab there that's probably a little beyond my (current) grad#(tho it's not technically graded by the route setters since it's a competition climb)#also I sent two alleged 5a problems#one of those I only really picked up in the session today#so yea progress yay#Also gonna talk more about bouldering here from now probably so do expect that#you're welcome or I'm sorry
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Yay rpg maker stuff :3. I should make more updates that aren’t just little concept doodles cause I have gotten a couple rooms to work, but eh. The game itself is still in like the getting the whole map figured out stage, then I’ll have to go through and plan where story specific events will happen, what characters appear where, major puzzles, whether or not there will be a battle system, etc etc. but I do have a lot of things down and have figured out how the program works for the most part! You guys get to see the map planning page early hehe, also the little girl character (who I still need to figure out the name of whoops—)
Anyway, these two are some main characters, Layne and Reid. I don’t wanna spoil too much about them, but they are also med school students and test subjects like Miran. Layne is the one with their hair to their right and spiky ends, Reid is the one with their hair over their left eye and a rounder style.
Ok yeah that’s it bye—
#art post#rpg maker 2003#project update#my ocs#original story#art#game project#eee uh idk what else to put um uh#kinda just a hobby rn idk when it’ll get finished#I should probs make tags for the characters included since I’ll probably post about them again eventually#I know not many people really follow for my original stuff but whatever#Layne Sommers#Reid Sommers#Dr. Miran Castle#I still don’t really have a name for the game yet but I have a couple ideas#also the main villain’s design has been HARD to figure out#I want him to look like just a completely average middle aged man and I keep making the design impossible for me to draw consistently 💀💀💀💀💀#it’s gonna be a while till he gets to be posted but he’s a silly (horrible has committed multiple felonies) guy idk#all these characters in these doodles are the survivors tho#I do have sprites for them so I’ll have to figure out how to post those too#and not in a way that people could just take them and start using them wait—#I forgot art theft was a thing for a second there uh#I should put a watermark on all my digital stuff probably augh idk#eventually lol#yeah ok that’s it idk what else to say bye#my phone is overheating whoops—
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#ugh. im feeling chatty today. probably bc i feel kinda weirdly anxious. like when u can Imagine bad things happening in detail#and like it feels like ur wait for it even tho its in ur imagination? whatever. anyway. ive been watching a lotta#stuff on like professional artists and idk maybe im just in too deep on science academia but i dont. i dunno the culture#seems so weird to me? like what does one do in art school? i guess i took a lot of art in high school but my teacher was kinda trash#all we did was paint realisticly using a grid and i hated that. but i image ur supposed to exercise different styles and medias? how tf#does that get graded? i dunno. i haven't taken any uni level art classes. i should tho. id probably like it#its weird tho. anything that tries to give structure to art stuff seems so weird to me. like u go to school for science stuff to build up#ur background knowledge and i guess u can do that with art but it feels different. i guess bc ur training muscle memory. i dunno#i like to imagine an au where i go to art school but i legitimately cannot fathom doing that. cannot fathom a life outside of my toxic#relationship with academia. i dont even kno what i would want to specialize if i went down that path. maybe illustration#bc it makes me happy when ppl say my style looks like something out of a kids book. i dunno#i guess classes would help with things like forcibly learning shadows and anatomy and composition#maybe i just need to make art friends. like what is ur life like? im too much in a science bubble#i guess going to art school also just devotes all ur time to art. not just tiny pockets of time between all the things u have to get done#god. i can only imagine the panic of procrastinating an art project and physically not having enough time to finish it#thats how i felt with my masters thesis. there was just physically not enough time for me to fix my code in all the ways i needed and rew#rewrite things. but i finished it somehow#ugh. god. i have things i need to finish coloring. i will finish them today. i will#i hate coloring. but colors r so pretty ;_;#unrelated
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god i hate it when im mentally all set to work on something but the circumstances dont fucking align and i have to wait
#i am trying to get back into making clay dragons cause it feels like its been forever since i actually made one#but the thing is the one i wanted to make is a specific character so i needed to have my laptop in my room to have a ref on hand#(but also so i could listen to music while i work n all that)#and the fucking laptop decided it needed an update Right That Instant#and now its getting late as i wait for it to finish so im like. i probably should wait till tomorrow...#and i just got some new crystals for the eyes and i really want to try them out cause i've never used this brand before#(michaels stopped selling the swarovski brand that i used to always use. but their new brand is a bit less expensive so thats cool)#i mean i guess i still made progress toward the project in a way cause i got some of the gems sorted#and i managed to find my wire cutters that i thought i lost and i dusted my workspace#dunno just frustrated tho cause i really wanted to actually start working on mixing the clay colors and i cant really do that yet#i feel like i cant even work on the armature properly yet cause i want to be able to compare with the ref for proportions n stuff
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huh...wuh..accidentally hit daigo with the bpd beam (unintended projection is scary) in sumn im writing but now im thinking daigo could totally have it chairman daigo is better at managing it but 2006 daigo is already doing bad whats another thing on the pile hes got the risky behaviour he's got the impulsiveness maybe the unstable relationships (im reaching i think)..maybe im just smarter than everyone and right and awesome wow..
(i rambled sorry) (my bad) (headcanons are so fun for me sorry)
you come into my house and proclaim yourself smarter than me when it comes to daigo dojima i will make your execution quick and painless
unfortunately you're right in this one instance cause i dont know a licka anything about BPD so i'll SIMPLY have to take your word on it. whats another trouble for the boy yk
#snap chats#'but snap i thought you were a psychologist' so did i but im only now realizing i know absolutely nothing about BPD#i mean as the name suggests 'bipolar disorder' it's about heavy and frequent mood swings but thats all i could tell you about it#which i cant say isnt all that far fro Y2 -> early Y3 daigo but its hard for me to say its because of BPD#the psychology of daigo dojima is one of my favorite things to think about he's such A Guy but A Troubled Guy#like to me daigo's behavior can be more attributed to depression#his Y2 behavior anyway- which makes sense as to why he calms down more by Y3#he's at peace with what happened to his father and kiryu- it's not a smooth transition#of course he lashes out in that RGGO but his behavior gets corrected p quick#idk i wont go on this tangent too long you did say this was a projection kinda beat and yk what#who am i to wanna dunk on someone trying to see themselves in another chara id be a hypocrite if i did#if anythin this ask's just reminded me i should probably look more into BPD at some point since i hear bout it so much#from my vague understanding of BPD tho ik my bitch ass kept sayin masato had it#mostly cause there's a lung disease ALSO abbreviated BPD and yk. 'oh which bpd' Yeah. It's Both.#but no one wanna relate to masato he's crusty im so sorry anon these tags are getting worse and worse#i hope your writing goes well i'm sure you're doing a killer job
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