#I still see ways it could be better but I also haven’t made an amv in a while so this is good for now i think

[exilepurify]

The emptiest of feelings / Disappointed people clinging onto bottles / and when it comes, it’s so, so disappointing

A Reigen-centric AMV I’ve been thinking about since last year and finally got around to putting together. I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out :}

Song: Let Down by Radiohead

[thatmomentwhen345]

Ok ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

These last two weeks have been very emotionally exhausting because of finals and what I’m about to tell you and I don’t really know how to sum it up so I guess you’re getting the same treatment as my Facebook (this is copied directly from the post on there and was posted on December 12th for context)

(This is the beginning of the Facebook post)

You guys, I don’t know what to do.

You might have gathered from my last few posts, but I’m not okay. And it will sound like such a stupid reason to the majority of you. But I made an irreversible mistake back in 2019 that has been haunting me for the past week. This is the first time that I can remember regretting a decision this much. Was it my stubbornness, my closed-mindedness? Was it my see-it-to-believe-it tendencies? Was it my inability to learn from my mistakes?

For those who don’t know, on November 13th of this year, the YouTube channel Unus Annus was deleted from the platform forever. After one year of daily videos by Markiplier and CrankGameplays, it was all gone. The point of the channel was to remind us to use our time that we have alive wisely, because Memento Mori. Remember that you must die.

The channel started on November 15th of 2019, and, well, I don’t know anything about their beginnings. I just saw their introduction video in my recommended or on trending or something and thought, “Is that Markiplier? Shouldn’t he be focusing on his own channel? Who’s this other guy?” and moved on without a second thought. I occasionally saw their videos in the trending tab but ignored them. I didn’t even know they had such a big following. I thought it looked stupid and didn’t think about it until, well, the end.

A few weeks ago, my brother was watching the final livestream that would mark the day that the channel was deleted for good. I was in the room with the livestream on the TV, watching their final hours tick by, still not thinking about the channel at all. Just like, oh hey that thing that people were talking about, wasn’t it like, a cult? I didn’t think about it at all until... the fifth of December? Was it really only a week ago? That feels like a lifetime away now...

The YouTuber FootofaFerret released a video called “Pretending Unus Annus Isn’t Over” and I saw it in my reccomended. https://youtu.be/8SMpCbI9U00 I was like, hey, yeah, I remember that thing that ended. I trusted Foafy’s judgement because of his previous videos about saying goodbye to Steven Universe. So I watched it and don’t really remember how it made me feel. I just remember him saying that the Unus Annus fandom was in mourning and I was like “aw poor guys I’ve seen on TikTok some people are sad about it”. Foafy also suggested that people who were wanting more of the Unus Annus vibe to watch Mark’s Markiplier Makes playlist. I watched some of them and, again, moved on.

The timeline is fuzzy from here on. I’m still processing it, honestly. I think I might have looked up the Unus Annus theme (Turncoat by Michael Rothery) first? Then I think I found some compilations or clips from their videos and was like wow this stuff is funny. And then I realized that there are archived versions of all of their videos (that’s against the rules of Unus Annus for those who don’t know) and... don’t hate me... went looking for them. I watched two in full. I won’t say which two but just know that the second one I specifically searched out because I knew that they did a lot of random stuff on there and that there was a chance that they would do it too. And they did! It was a funny video. I realized how much of a fun dynamic that Ethan and Mark had and looked for more compilations. The more I watched, the more I realized that I had made a terrible mistake in 2019.

I had missed out on so much. And I couldn’t take it back without breaking the rules. The concept of Unus Annus intrigued me so much, all of the people involved on the channel worked so well together, they were all so funny, but now I could never experience it in full because I was stubborn and, well, thinking about other things this year. I could have jumped in at any point between then and November 13th of this year but I chose not to.

Monday was a rollercoaster. 1st stage: denial. I was like well this doesn’t matter, I’m not even in the UA fandom, it’s gone and I don’t care. But it wasn’t that simple of course. I kept watching the Markiplier Makes videos and the UA compilations and became particularly interested in Ethan. He seemed very genuine and sensitive and his on-camera chemistry with Mark was really entertaining. 2nd stage: anger. I was furious at myself for missing out. Those two videos I watched in full were just small teasers for what the entire channel was like. I hated that I couldn’t take it back. And I hated that if I did, I would’ve broken the rules and gone against Mark and Ethan’s wishes, which I also wouldn’t be able to take back. I was horribly conflicted. 3rd stage: bargaining. I desperately went after any content surrounding Unus Annus that I could without breaking the rules, and was still considering watching the illegal archives. I haven’t watched any more of them in full, but sometimes I watch parts of them in incognito mode when it becomes too much to bear.

Tuesday was... Tuesday had to have been the longest day I’ve had the entire year. 4th stage: depression. It was slowly sinking in, the gravity of my mistake. I was starting to realize how much of a phenomenon Unus Annus was and that it was so unique and had such a cool message and that it made so many peoples’ 2020 just a little bit better, but not mine. I then did what I always do and found my comfort in music. I put on a bunch of good songs that I hadn’t heard in a while and just... sat there painstakingly doing my math homework. I couldn’t concentrate on anything the whole day. Monday, either. The song Goodbye to a World by Porter Robinson came on and I was like hey, this song perfectly suits the way I’m feeling right now. I wondered if anyone else had made connections between this song and Unus Annus and looked to see if there had been any AMVs (animated music videos) about the idea and the end of UA. Lo and behold, this popped up and I watched it! https://youtu.be/-q-oByQWdlM It hit all the right spots and I just started bawling. What had I done? Why had I missed this opportunity to improve my 2020, just a little bit? Why had I missed this opportunity to get to know Mark and Ethan better? Everyone who had watched all of their videos could feel peace after the end, like Mark and Ethan. But I couldn’t. I could only forever regret my mistake. MY mistake.

Terrible things have happened this year, but all of them have been out of my control. This, however, was my fault. And I can never take it back. And I am having a very hard time handling that.

I don't know how many times I cried on Tuesday. The next song to come on after I watched the AMV was As the World Caves In by Matt Maltese which of course broke me even further. This song also perfectly encapsulated my dilemma. Later I finished my tribute drawing of the channel logo and felt the smallest bit better. The rest of the day is a blur.

Wednesday was better, I guess? I thought I had made it to the 5th stage: acceptance. I was still very sad and mad at myself but I was starting to realize that there was nothing I could do. I subscribed to Ethan’s channel and started getting to know him better. He’s so sweet and talented ☺️

But no, acceptance is still far away. Thursday and Friday were barely better than Tuesday. I painted my nails black and white as a way of coping. I went to a livestream on Ethan’s Twitch and it was really fun! I started watching more of his streams and on one of them he mentioned that his Twitch chat mods had TikToks. So I wondered if he also had a TikTok, which he does! I looked to see if he posted one on the day UA ended. The answer was no but he did post one the day after asking if someone with the skills required could make a mashup of the song Cancer by My Chemical Romance and As the World Caves In. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJqgyrkR/ I was like wowie this guys got taste! And so I looked up if there was a mashup. As a matter of fact, there was one by Clem Turner on YouTube that came out only three days after the end of Unus Annus. https://youtu.be/a5RTVoreSAY I cannot express how much I love this, what it made me feel, and how much it hurt/helped. So I commented on Ethan’s TikTok about it and only a few hours later a new comment appeared on Clem’s video. Ethan had seen it! So I’m just gonna assume I was responsible for that... not only that but half of the comments on the mashup were about Unus Annus as you can see below. I realized how big of a following UA had and felt bad (because of course the people who had actually been with UA the whole way would be grieving a lot more than me), but also, comforted by the fact we could all connect over the loss of something important to them, if in a lot of different ways.

I’m far from getting over this. I’m far from being okay. I’ve never really felt like this before. I feel like a different person than I was last week. But I wanted to write all this down to let it out, process it a little bit, and maybe get some comfort from you guys. It’s completely understandable if you didn’t read this all the way through so...

TLDR: Memento Mori.

(This is the end of the Facebook post)

What I just described really shifted a lot of things in my head in a way I didn’t expect and in a very short amount of time. So, long story short, my Steven Universe hyperfixation ended very suddenly because of an outside factor and I probably won’t be posting a lot about it anymore. Hope you understand.

(art by me but I used the official UA logo as a reference)

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I Just Realized Gaster’s Family Name Might Be Wingdings Instead of Gaster

it just hit me while I was drawing,

that Gaster’s family name, the one that most fans

would have both him and his sons or brothers (depend how you see Gaster)  be called Gaster at the end of their names,

might not really be the real last/family name of them.

but now I have the headcanon theory,

that not only is Gaster, isn’t his family name.

you know how in some places, the family name comes first

before the given name to the son/daughter/child...?

if this theory is true,

that means that Papyrus and Sans,

they are Wingdings Sans and Wingdings Papyrus.

 well I do see the brother version of Gaster,

being separate from the father version,

and the two versions just being father and son,

and the brother Gaster, “Gaster Jr.”

being the elder brother of Sans and Papyrus.

I kind of want to call the brother version "Agrest"

which is like a Anagram of Gaster.

so Wingdings Gaster Sr. goes by “Gaster”

while Wingdings Gaster Jr. goes by “Agrest”

Gaster being the father of the three skelebros,

while the brother version of Gaster, who is called “Agrest” by one fan so far,

will be the son of the Dadster and also the elder brother of the other two.

I’m not sure how many other fans would agree to “Gaster Jr./The Gaster-Brother” version, going by the fan name Agrest.

it is pronounced just like Adrian’s Family Name,

from Miraculous Ladybug & Chat Noir. 

it is just spelled without the extra ‘e’ in it.

 we all get different fan theories, and not all of them have to be a correct.

  maybe I will talk about this theory more at  another time.

I also wanted to try to get around to throwing some of that salt on my pendulum tonight, but I think I will wait until tomorrow to do so.

also I think I want to draw a second Tuckrif  ship drawing,

maybe either tomorrow or whenever I’m able to get around to it.

also if there are others who uses a pendulum,

and are still a bit new to it and haven’t done it very long.

make sure not to believe the replies it gives you all the time,

even if you can believe some of it, there are chances it will be hacked by negative energy, and it will end up either pranking you or just full out lying to you just to be mean instead of playful.

well that is how I view it.

I will sign back on in a few hours, or in other words, tomorrow.

but not right away, I mean it might not be a few hours when I sign back in.

I just want to go back to relaxing and try to go back to watching a movie.

I also want to say, that I might of been unsuccessful in trying to find a place that is better than Youtube, where no one will get hurt by the negative side of who ever is running Youtube.

even if Youtube is still good, and it still has it’s good side.

there is still some problems with it, that I hope someday will be fixed.

this video -->  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTGufMkHfZI

it’s important to keep children safe,

but do NOT blame the content, blame the parents.

before you check out the link, I want to say that know from experience.

like seeing a movie I was not old enough to see,

wasn’t even a teenager yet at all or some other family movies,

that had hinted “snu-snu.”

 there should be a child lock app that keeps little kids from seeing content they are not suppose to.

another problem about the blaming the content,

is that when you let your baby who started talking,

and you let them watch a show or movie, with a bad word in it,

and they will repeat it, which is just what I did when I was a baby.

Vimeo and PeerTube, I’m not sure if those two will be the best alternative.

Vimeo seems still a little good, but it doesn’t seem what I’m truly looking for.

I could still check it out once in a while I guess.

at least show creators who trust Youtube,

do put info at the start of the video, that it isn’t for kids.

when Youtubers do make it clear that their channel isn’t for Kids,

then he parents should make sure that you try to keep a eye on your kids.

you can’t just blame on the mature content that isn’t for them in the first place.

I can admit that my Mom made some mistakes,

like letting me be in a room where a show or movie was on,

and I was just a baby, maybe around a toddler at the time,

and I repeated the “B” word.

not knowing any better.

if we want to keep everyone safe, there needs to be improvement on Youtube,

where they don’t hurt anyone or let false reports happen,

where a video that has been up way longer, ends up being taken done because of what some other Youtuber reported.

until Youtube can try to do better and improve itself,

and stop hurting so many Youtubers,

there needs to be a true Alternative place to go to other than Youtube,

that you can post amv, original show work, music videos,

but only YOUR original work, unless you get REAL permission to sub or dub a Game Music Video or Animated Music Video,

or get real permission to dub or sub the pilot of Viviziepop’s original

work, like Hazbin Hotel, as well as their pilot and episodes of Helluva Boss.

or if you take Hazbin Hotel Pilot, and breaking into parts,

one person from Youtube has done this, and I know trying to get through to them is not possible, I haven’t talked to them.

but from what I can see, they and those that follow them, wont listen to reason or understand the feelings of others.

there is called fair use, like when you use some art or clips

to make a music video, but you need to make sure to give credit to the original owners, and also make sure if you write in the description,

that anything related to the original owner, is visible

and not make it not visible at all, and you can only see it

when you press the “show more button”

too many Youtubers get hurt, and it’s not fair.

even if there is still some good on Youtube,

it is still slightly corrupted, and it needs to be healed.

plus you will have to worry about other people

stealing Comic Dubs, that belong to the original people who dub it,

who most, had got permission from the original artist.

but with how some comics are, it isn’t possible to get the permission,

the best you can do is try to put the info at the start of the video,

and make sure there is no misunderstandings.

I still like Youtube, but I just don’t like how it ends up hurting others.

and I don’t like that it took me until now,

to know the problem isn’t the content, but the parents.

mine being one of them, but I don’t think my mom would of let me watch the really REALLY mature stuff when I was little.

but the point is, I was still exposed to it, even if it was just a mild stuff.

I can watch some mature stuff now.

but I now have the knowledge to know that the parents are to blame,

they don’t keep a better watch of their kids,

and even if they do let their kids watch stuff or play video games,

that AREN’T FOR THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

the parents will just turn it around and place the blame on the content

instead of themselves.

if I could make a Royal Decree, it would be that all parents,

should get a child lock on their child’s computer,

make sure there is a password place,

 that hides really mature content, even working on Youtube so any Mature stuff on there, can not be seen.

I have little trust in Youtube, because of the stuff that has been happening on it.

it makes me worried about some of the channels I had been watching so far.

like besides Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss.

I worry about any fan animation that can either do with Undertale,

or Invader Zim.

and I think there are others that I might not be able to name.

but the point is, that if Youtube and whoever is running it,

wants to try not to break anymore hearts.

then there needs to be a app that is a child lock

that the browser will be linked to, and will have a password,

where it will make it impossible for little kids to watch mature stuff by accident.

and if you need to write the password on paper,

because not being able to remember all passwords, cause I know that feeling.

then make sure to keep the child lock password in a very secret place,

maybe where your child can’t find it.

that way they wont be able to use it.

if I ever become a parent someday, I’m gonna make sure to NEVER make the same mistake my Mom or those who were watching me did.

or the mistakes that some parents make now.

placing the full blame on the content, instead of themselves.

I’m going to try to keep hoping, that Youtube will improve.

and it will stop hurting other Youtubers.

I think after I watch the Hotel Transylvania 3 Movie I’m watching,

I will go watch Camp Camp over on Rooster Teeth Site.

anyway, I hope to talk more about the whole “Wingdings” is Gaster’s family name, at another time.

I still hope to draw Tuckrif (Red Vs Blue: Tucker x Grif)

when I can.

and I hope some of you can respect my feelings about what is going on,

and how the ones who should take responsibility

is the parents, who need to try to find a way to make that child lock,

that can keep a child safe, if they have their own computer or if they don’t,

get your child their own computer and then place the child lock in it,

and make sure it has a password that only you know or have wrote down and keep in a very secret place that they have no idea about.

if we want to improve the internet safety, then that is one of the first steps.

so no one will get emotionally hurt because parents don’t realize,

that we saw that content because of you, and you should of tried to keep us from it until we were the proper age.

my mom being one of them, I still love my mom,

but even I know now that her letting me see stuff I was not ready for.

was still irresponsible, and all parents should acknowledge this.

I even had to stop my little cousin from trying to play my Deadpool Game once,

lucky they didn’t get very far, but still...no one even bothered to stop them or make sure they didn’t try to play it.

I even had to start to hide some of my mature games and even movies when they came over.

anyway if you haven’t already, please check out the link.

and maybe someday the type of child lock I mentioned,

will be made someday, and maybe someone will make a petition for such a lock,

that way no more people get hurt, and parents will take more responsibility.

and maybe even listen more to their son or daughter.

and whatever the gender neutral form for son/daughter is

(I will need to look it up), when they try to tell them something is wrong,

and they know something isn’t right.

or if your child doesn’t want to get on the bus because the school and their teacher’s had traumatize them and that is why they are shaking from being upset.

anyway like I said, please check out the link to that youtube video that talks about the serious stuff going on.

maybe by next year, youtube will become better and have the child lock on and keep those who are under age of 15, off of the mature stuff.

I can only hope so...I mean I want to hope that Season 15 of Red Vs Blue DVD gets on Amazon.

and SVTFOE and Wander Over Yonder get full DVDS

and stop being just “Prime Only”

and whoever made the complete series of the original Powerpuff Girls,

impossible to get right away, unless you save like a LOT of money.

well I’m gonna hope they lower the price someday.

not everyone can get the really high price that is past 100 and more,

I’m gonna just go and try to go back to watching that movie,

and hope things get better.

this was only suppose to be about the whole Wingdings is Gaster’s Family Name Theory, but then I remembered about wanting to show that link again.

see ya later and stay safe everyone, and try not to make the same mistake as your parents if you were exposed too early to mature content, and the parents place the full blame on the content instead of themselves.

but if you are one of the ones who were lucky not to end up that way,

I hope you can still be able to understand and be supportive about the real problem, which isn’t the content, but the parents who need to improve themselves and maybe be told by other parents who never made the same mistake as them, that the content isn’t the problem.                               

[drummergirl231-2]

How much of Disney Afternoon have you seen and thoughts on the shows from that era you saw?

Ahhh I think the best way to handle this ask is in list form!

I’ll use the list of shows off Wikipedia to make sure I don’t miss any.

I was born in 1992 so most of my memories of Disney Afternoon shows are actually of watching reruns of them all day long with my big brother at my grandma’s old house during summers in the mid-late ‘90s.

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

I mean, obviously I started watching that in diapers. We actually had a couple episodes on VHS that I watched at home a lot, and I got to see the rest of the show at grandma’s (we usually just had basic cable at home).

Adventures of the Gummi Bears

Weirdly, we didn’t watch it. I wonder if my mom didn’t let us because of the magic? Like I get some parents not letting their kids watch stuff with magic, but I don’t get how weirdly selective most of them are about it. Most parents who ban certain shows or movies because of magic will still let their kids watch other things with magic.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DuckTales (1987)

My school’s daycare had some episodes on VHS (including “Duck to the Future” ...*shudders*) and I think they had the movie, too. I also remember renting the movie from Blockbuster and watching it perched on the end of my mom’s bed. DuckTales usually wasn’t on during the day during summers though, from what I remember... if we ever saw it at Grandma’s house, it was if we were spending the night there. It’d come on in the evenings. 

Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers

OKAY THIS SHOW WAS NUMBER ONE I ADORED EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. It had my first OTP, I made my first OCs for it... I’m pretty sure this show is what made me like... a fandom kinda fan. I re-watched the whole series again when I was 15, but it’s been a while. My favorite episode when I was little was “Out to Launch.”

TaleSpin

I watched it sometimes. It’d be the show that was on when my mom would drop us off at Grandma’s at 7:30 am. Not sure why I never got super into it. Maybe I was just anticipating the shows I liked more that would come on later in the morning? Or I was confused how Baloo from The Jungle Book could be a pilot with clothes. Those kinds of things confuse kids, ya know?

Darkwing Duck

This was my second fave as a kid, and one of the ones I re-watched when I was 15. It started to mean a whole lot more to me then, since I was learning to come to terms with not growing up with a dad in the house, and seeing Drake with Gosalyn simultaneously made me grieve over that and find comfort knowing as a Christian God is my adoptive Father. <3 

What’s that? You wanna see a Drake and Gosalyn AMV that’s absolutely flawless and will make you cry? Well look no further. Here’s a link to “Darkwing Duck & Gosalyn- You are Loved (Don’t Give Up)” by Villaness. 

Goof Troop

This is another one I didn’t watch all the time. But I would sometimes. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. 

Bonkers

This one was probably my third favorite. I loved Fall Apart. Just thinking about the show makes me crave mac ‘n’ cheese, since it usually came on at lunchtime and that’s all I ever wanted my grandma to make for me. XD Also Bonkers was mac ‘n’ cheese colors. Even his little police uniform was blue like the Kraft box. Good times.

Aladdin (the series)

Yup, I watched it. Wasn’t my fave, but wasn’t boring.

Quack Pack

Shoot, I kinda wanna tie this with Bonkers as my third favorite from when I was a kid. I loved Quack Pack. I thought it was cool seeing HDL as teenagers. I liked Louie the best. Weirdly though when I try to re-watch it... I dunno, I get bored really fast. So I haven’t watched it all the way through again.  Half the time I imagine Daisy saying something though I still hear it in my head with Kath Soucie’s voice instead of Tress MacNielle’s because of Quack Pack. XD

Mighty Ducks

Didn’t watch it... not really a sports fan.

The Lion King’s Timon and Pumbaa

I liked this one a lot. Usually episodes of this on VHS would be my go-to at Blockbuster, and I’d watch it at Grandma’s, too.

Gargoyles

I don’t think I was allowed to watch it. I wasn’t really interested in it, anyway.

101 Dalmatians (the series)

Given the movie was one of my favorite movies as a kid, of course I liked the series based off it. Sometimes the theme song STILL gets stuck in my head, even though I can’t really remember all the lyrics.

Doug

I actually got to watch this throughout the year, since it’d also air on ABC on Saturday mornings (with Recess and such). But Doug was in junior high and I couldn’t totally relate to him yet, so I preferred Recess. 

Hercules (the series)

We weren’t allowed to see the movie so we just assumed we couldn’t watch the show, either. 

Some other shows I’d watch on the Disney Channel or Toon Disney were Madeline, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, The Little Mermaid (series), and Jungle Cubs.

Hey, was anyone else watching the Jungle Cubs episode “The Coming of the Wolves,” in Summer 2000 when Toon Disney just suddenly vanished from channel 52 (I think we had Charter cable)? Like, Cartoon Network on channel 51 still worked, 53 (whatever it was) worked, but 52 just became black and white static for no reason. Sad day. I liked Toon Disney better than the Disney Channel. 

A few years later when my brother and I were old enough to stay home alone (and Grandma moved 2.5 hours away, besides), mom would get good cable for us during summer and I found Toon Disney on channel like... 304? But by then my favorite shows weren’t even airing anymore. :/

[juuheizou]

for the song asks: 1, 4, 8, 11, 12, 14, 27, 28, 34, 39 :D

thank u so much for sending these!! they were fun to answer!!

1. your favorite song

changes a lot but rn is ‘doutte kotonai sympathy’ from akuma no riddle, which i haven’t watched in years but have been samesonging the ost so hard lately

4. a song you haven’t heard in years

u sent me this one at a scary good time bc i haven’t actually heard ‘utsukushikiki zankoku no sekai’ by yoko hikasa (the first snk ending) since i was like 14 or 15 years old but in the last day or two i’ve been thinking, seeing as one of my beloved mutuals has been on a nostalgia trip w snk and i’m working on a set list of anime covers to learn and record, maybe it would be fun to have a nostalgia trip of my own and cover some snk songs, so it’s been on my mind despite how long it’s been.

8. the best song from your favorite album

my favorite album also changes a lot, but rn i've been really feeling ‘scream’ by ozzy osbourne and the best song is ‘soul sucker’ though i also really like ‘let me hear you scream’

11. a song that means a lot to you

i haven’t listened to it in so long. like i was 14 last time i listened to it, and only just now listened to it again to see if it still elicited any feelings and make sure i’m not a liar, but ‘titanium’ as covered by madilyn bailey.

i discovered the cover from an annie leonhardt amv that i can’t find anymore and HAD to perform it for a show my music class at the time was putting on. i got so sick i could barely talk a few days before the show but i had worked so hard on it and wanted to perform it so bad i fought fricking tooth and nail to get better enough to drag myself through the day of the show and spent the entire day downing throat coat and doing everything i could to make my voice as ok as possible. when i actually performed, i thought i sounded so awful but i just kinda kept going bc professionalism and got to the end of the song wanting to cry bc i thought i butchered it in front of my entire school. but then on my way to find somewhere hidden to probably end up doing exactly that, ppl kept stopping me in the hall to tell me i was so good and gave them chills and all kinds of good stuff... i’d performed and even won prizes several times before but it was the first song i rehearsed w a full band somewhere other than my room and the praise from my teacher/super talented classmates made me feel like i didn’t just love to sing but like i had actual promise at it, and that show made me feel like it was worth it to be stubborn and i had the relentlessness to make things happen. and yes re-listening to it did make me feel a hint of that again

12. the last song you listened to

at the time i’m typing this, ‘headlong into carnage’ by cannibal corpse.

i haven’t listened to them since middle school and have yet to dive deep enough to pinpoint when they started making good songs, but i kinda just clicked a song and they did it! they really did it!

14. the last cd/album you bought

oof it was almost a year ago that i bought (as in paid money for the entire album) it but i think it was ‘resurrection through carnage’ by bloodbath

27. one song that starts with each letter of your name

joie de ne pas vivre by napalm death. ugly by nicole dollanganger. dragged out by chelsea wolfe. ephemeral lifespan by gloria morti

from this one, i have learned that not a lot of songs start w ‘j’ and ‘u’

28. two songs with the same/similar titles that you like

this one was really hard (fricking metal and it’s multitude of long complicated song titles that no one would ever imitate) but ‘let them in’ by pvris and ‘let me in’ by blackbriar

34. your favorite acoustic song

‘in between days’ by the cure

39. a song you always sing along to

don’t laugh but anything avril lavigne.

until i could finally have an ipod, i had a discman and her first two albums and that was all i could listen to without a computer. so i have almost all of ‘let go’ and ‘under my skin’ committed to memory. so i both can always sing along to most of those songs and i love belting out avril so much i can’t stop myself. also she’s a v talented singer and her songs are good!!

holy smokes were some of those hard! but that kinda made it satisfying to finally conjure up an answer! thanks again ash! i had fun w these

send me some song asks pls these are so fun

[kristallioness]

Hey, dear followers! I hope you're all doing okay. 😁 I just wanted to write down some thoughts after the amazing day that I had this Friday. Long story short, in October, I took 3 vacation days (all of them on Fridays), and the outcome seemed to become better and better with each passing week:

The first vacation Friday was an utter failure, cause the day before I'd apparently caught my dad's cold (managed to avoid this for 1 year and nearly 2 months since the last time I was sick in 2019), so my throat was really getting on my nerves. 🤧 It wasn't as sore as it usually is when I have a cold, but still it bothered me enough that I wasn't in the mood to do anything. The good thing was that I did get to have a vacation, cause I would've been even more grumpy if I had to work (and talk a lot during meetings).

The second vacation Friday, as most of you could probably make out from my last personal update, I spent on watching and crying over Avatar-themed AMVs on YouTube (totally worth it), as well as finally continuing my rewatch (fingers crossed I'll continue this cycle this weekend.. the rewatch, I mean). 🤞

But the third vacation Friday was absolutely SPECTACULAR!!! 🤩 I accomplished so many things within a day and got to travel and see so much after a while...

I needed to go to Tallinn to run some errands at my nest (i.e. rented home) and at work. So in the morning, I took the train (I saw so many animals and birds along the way: 4 roe deer, an eagle, some horses, tens and tens of sheep grazing in the woods, a squirrel climbing on a tree..) and used public transportation for the first time after this emergency situation started in March (it ended in May, but I avoided public transportation like fire up until now). I really missed riding in them (the train and trams), but once I did, it suddenly felt familiar and like a regular day, as if nothing bad had ever happened.. 😌

Except that I wore several masks to protect myself (and everyone else around me), so I wouldn't catch or unintentionally spread the virus (Estonia hasn't forced people to wear masks anywhere yet, only recommended it). 😷 I had 2 notable, and completely different reactions: the conductor lady on the train gave me a bit of a suspicious look when she came to check my ticket (like, why would a healthy young woman like me be wearing a mask?), but another lady on one of the trams grinned when she saw my adorable Paw Patrol-themed mask. (Btw, I hold no grudge against the conductor and laughed about it later. 😄)

Why was I being extra careful? Simple: it's because I had to visit the health centre at the campus where work is located (and later visit my office, too), to receive my flu vaccination for this year. 💉 The visit with the kind nurse went really well, I got to explore around the new location of and the rooms inside the health centre (they moved some time ago, but now I know what it looks like and what to expect, so I won't be too nervous when going to my health check next time in 2021, I believe). 🩺

Afterwards, I went to visit my colleagues at work and had such a wonderful time chatting with them face to face. 🥰 Like I told them: it truly felt as if I was coming home as soon as I walked in, and I loved that feeling very much and I look forward to the day when we can all feel safe enough to come to work again. Also, I had some neat and very practical little gifts to pick up.. 😏

Once I left work, I quickly went through a shopping spree in the nearby mall and bought a small toy I'd written down in my notes of things to keep an eye out for / buy asap: the 1/43 model of the WRC Toyota Yaris that Estonians Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja drove with throughout 2019, when they first won the championship. 🏎️ Some time ago, I was searching the internet for a possibly bigger model, but I don't think there are any, so I decided it's a YOLO-type of situation and I knew I'd want at least one (1) model for myself before they completely ran out (there were like 3-4 left, in 2 different malls).

What made me feel even better was that the shopkeeper looked so happy when I walked in and asked to buy that specific item. 😊 Considering the price (60+ €) and the type of items they sell in that shop and the current pandemic situation, most people wouldn't walk into a store like that daily to buy such expensive stuff. I hope I helped boost their sales even by a little bit, and I sure made that nice lady's day.

Fast-forward to the evening when I was already back home, I couldn't contain myself, so I had to skim through "Katara and The Pirate's Silver". 🌊 But as I was following Katara's storyline, I ended up reading through the whole thing a bit later. And.. I.. LOVED IT!!! Will definitely write my review / notes down later, cause there were so many awesome things that stuck out.

All in all, I haven't had such an adventure-filled day in a long time, and as I said in the beginning, I had so many positive emotions throughout. The third vacation day was a complete success in so many ways. 🥲

[untitledtallgeesepodcast]

[TRANSCRIPT] Episode 0: The Anime They Once Saw (Or Didn’t See)

Kat  0:00  

Hello and welcome to the Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four of us will watch Gundam Wing and then tell you all about Gundam Wing. My name is Kat, I write about comics on the internet, and I will be your episode moderator for today.

Mallory  0:17  

And I'm Mallory, and I also write about comics. 

Cathy  0:20  

I'm Cathy, I don't write about comics. I am actually a lawyer, which sucks.

All  0:26  

[laughter]

Caitlin  0:28  

I am Caitlin. I'm a PhD researcher in Tokyo right now working on Japanese film. Yeah. 

Kat  0:33  

Extremely legit. 

Caitlin  0:35  

Are we? 

Cathy  0:36  

and we're all here to talk about the Gundam Wing.

Kat  0:38  

[crosstalk] I mean we might be.

Kat  0:41  

We are here to talk about Gundam Wing, the maybe not critically acclaimed, but fandom, okay, audience favorite anime  that was released in 1995 in Japan and then made its way to the US in March 2000 on Toonami. So, we're going to talk about our fandom history and our history with the show Gundam Wing and I guess I will kick that off. So I-- I grew up watching anime because my dad is a huge nerd. So we were obviously watching Toonami. And the promos blew my mind. My friends and I all got really into it in middle school. Then we discovered fanfiction and we started with Heero/Relena fan fiction. [Caitlin: Ugh.] And then then we realized people could be gay. 

Caitlin  1:29  

Uugh, thank god.

Kat  1:30  

That opened up like, I know it was like the clouds parted. rainbows fell from the sky. We were like, Oh, wow.

Mallory  1:39  

[singing] "A whole new world"

Kat  1:40  

[laughter] And then I don't know. I wrote a lot of fanfiction posted it on FF dotnet, got into fandom and then stayed in fandom. So, Mallory?

Mallory  1:53  

I didn't have cable growing up. So whatever anime exposure I got was like, whatever was on Saturday morning cartoons. So Digimon was my first fandom and I was really into that. 

Kat  2:08  

Hell yeah 

Mallory  2:09  

And that sort of like bled into Gundam Wing somehow, I don't really remember how. But I found my way to Gundam Wing, read a lot of fanfic, hadn't ever really watched the show. And then in high school, my friend had some like random episodes from the first season question mark. I have no idea. So I watched those, and really enjoyed that? But I have no idea what their context was, so I'm coming at this pretty, pretty new.

Cathy  2:44  

So you have never watched it from beginning to end?

Mallory  2:47  

No. 

Cathy  2:47  

Got it. This will be fun. 

Mallory  2:50  

I'm expecting to be really disapproving of all the adults in the room. I find that like, now that I'm watching anime about kids, I'm really protective of these kids like, "Hey, this is really unethical!"

Cathy  3:02  

So I'm like Kat, I started watching anime when I was I think around Middle School. I had a friend who got me into Sailor Moon, then I think it was Dragon Ball that was on Toonami at the time? I can't really remember the chronology. 

Kat  3:16  

Yeah. 

Cathy  3:17  

But then they did the promos for Gundam Wing, so then I started watching that on Toonami. And it was my first mecha series. And my first Gundam series, I think it's a lot of people's first Gundam series in the United States. 

Cathy  3:31  

I have attempted to do similar projects to this multiple times where I go back and I rewatch, and I haven't really had the opportunity to actually finish those rewatches. But my memory of it is still kind of stuck of when I was in middle school slash high school. I did get into fandom, so I expect to remember a lot of inaccuracies about what happened. [laughter] Because a lot of what my facts have with this series are have now mutated and changed. But I was a huge Gundam Wing fan, I think it still remains my favorite of the Gundam series just because I have so many memories of it? But I really excited to talk to Mallory, about what you feel and your experiences because it's been so long since I've talked to somebody who actually has never seen the series and doesn't know the story. So I'm super excited about this.

Caitlin  4:24  

Yeah!

Cathy  4:25  

All right, Cait, tell us about your family history.

Caitlin  4:27  

Yeah, so similar to all of us, I guess, I watched anime growing up. I got into Sailor Moon sort of through an accident of just happening to see a very specific episode on Toonami in like 1999, 1998 maybe. So after that, I got really into anime and really into the internet. I think I was very depressed as a child. [laughter] So I spend a lot of time online. I believe that like my my first memories of Gundam Wing are when it was on Toonami: Sailor Moon was on first and then Dragon Ball Dragon Ball Z, and then Gundam Wing. And then they also were showing like the quote unquote unedited versions late 

Cathy  5:09  

Yes!

Kat  5:09  

Yes, the midnight run 

Cathy  5:11  

The midnight run Right. 

Cathy  5:12  

Yeah. So very specific memories of like, I think I was mainly attracted to the, like, team format of Gundam if that makes sense? [Cathy: Yeah yeah yeah!] where it was used to sailor Sailor Moon where you have a team of color coded characters. And I'd, at a younger age been really into Power Rangers, where you had a team of color coded characters. So the marketing of Gundam Wing really appealed. You know, cuz I was just a kid watching on TV, I never really, I don't know if I watched the whole thing as a kid, but I got really into the fandom. And by 2000, 2001, I already knew about gay stuff online.

Kat  5:48  

Wow. Look at you early bloomer.

Caitlin  5:50  

Yeah. So So I got really into the various Gundam Wing pairings, I think it was mainly, I was mainly a 3x4, I think as a child. I went through some, 1x2, and then 2x5 phases. [laughter]

Caitlin  6:09  

I still am a big advocate for 2x5, I think it's underrated.

Kat  6:12  

I'm a big 2x5. 

Cathy  6:13  

2x5 is a good pairing, it definitely is. 

Kat  6:16  

Yeah.

Cathy  6:16  

It's a better pairing as an adult. 

Kat  6:17  

So okay, I think that's actually a pretty good bounce off. So these are the things we remember about Gundam Wing. It was marketed, like, I remember the Toonami marketing 'cause I was really hype for this show. They had like these really extreme commercials. 

Caitlin  6:34  

Yeah. 

Kat  6:35  

Um, and I thought the voice acting was good. I don't know, maybe we'll revisit that during this watch, to see if it still is, 

Caitlin  6:43  

[crosstalk] Was it dubbed?, 

Cathy  6:44  

[crosstalk] It was dubbed, yes.

Kat  6:44  

But I was ready for it. It was dubbed. 

Caitlin  6:46  

It was dubbed. One thing with the with the Japanese voice acting though, is that it's every single famous voice actor from the 90s. And so you can, you can use Gundam Wing is like a six degrees of every single voice actor from the 1990s. 

Caitlin  6:59  

Oh, that's cool.

Mallory  7:00  

I mean, there are a lot of big American or like, dub dub names on the dub side, too.

Cathy  7:06  

One of the things that I remember very strongly about Toonami is that they had what I think we would now call anime music videos, AMVs. 

Kat  7:16  

Yeah 

Cathy  7:17  

But they would play

Caitlin  7:18  

Yeah, 

Cathy  7:18  

These montage trailers, where they'd stich together all their different series. And as they accumulated more anime series, these became really, I think, cinematic and gripping tales, where they would kind of try to tell a story to be about, like bravery or honor or like, 

Kat  7:36  

It's like, plugged directly into my little 11 year old brain like, Whoa,

Cathy  7:40  

Yes. And one of them was, I remember was called, like, "technological development" or something like that, that featured a lot of the Gundam Wing clips. 

Kat  7:47  

Oh, yeah, cuz you only download them from like, KaZaa,  or whatever horrible thing I was putting into my computer. 

Caitlin  7:52  

Yeah. We gotta see if we can find those. [crosstalk] They must be online somewhere.

Cathy  7:56  

They are online. And I think they actually came out with like, I think somebody had either like hand by hand remastered them.

Kat  8:03  

[crosstalk] Oh sick.

Cathy  8:02  

Or they created a remastered version of it. They're wonderful. But that's I think one of the things about Toonami that I remember really strongly was Gundam Wing kind of is one of their, like epitome of like, Cool Anime that I feel like Toonami did and what it did was like they stiched together all these different things Outlaw Star and Tenchi Muyo and all these other stories to create a story about teenage growth, which is kind of strange and also weirdly fitting at the end of the day about like where Gundam is in the whole universe. 

Kat  8:07  

I think that's one of the reasons it blew up so much here because the marketing was really intense. Like Toonami, like it sort of right at the beginning, like people were into Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z was getting big. And like the manga boom was sort of happening in bookstores. So contextually, I think, Cartoon Network knew what the hell they were doing. They were like, "We can market the hell out of this."

Caitlin  8:55  

And also objectively speaking, Gundam Wing was one of their cooler series. Like, Sailor Moon is cool. Tenchi Muyo is not cool. 

All  9:04  

[laughter]

Kat  9:06  

Yeah. 

Caitlin  9:07  

Even even if you love it, it's not really cool. Dragon Ball. Love it. I don't know if it's really cool. Gundam Wing had like a very strong -

Kat  9:14  

[crosstalk] like the chad of animes

Caitlin  9:16  

- adult aesthetic to it, even though it was like, relatively, well, relatively appropriate for like 12 year olds. 

Kat  9:23  

And they swore during the midnight show.

Caitlin  9:25  

Oh yeah, 

Kat  9:26  

They swore and there was blood. 

Caitlin  9:27  

So it was very cool. And so I felt very adult watching it even though I didn't really understand what was going on because it's all this fake politics crap.

Kat  9:35  

Yeah, I was gonna say I did do a rewatch in like, like, right after college, so it was probably around 2010 ish, maybe? And I don't think we finished the series, but it was like, wow, I used to think this was very deep. [laughter] And I thought all the people in it who are the adults like Mallory, you were mentioning earlier, like they're actually like 17 and 19 

Cathy  10:01  

Yes! 

Kat  10:01  

in this show. So watching it at the age of 21, I was like, "Ooh no, don't give these people anything."

Cathy  10:09  

I was actually thinking about that. Because when you said Mallory, "oh, well, I become very protective of the children. I disapprove the adults," in my head of thinking "what adults?" [crosstalk, Caitlin: yeah what adults?] because actually, in Gundam Wing, there's a funny thing where people are either 15, 25 or like 70. And there's no in between and nobody really makes adult decisions. So it, That was one thing that really shocked me because as I go back to revisit it, I think, "Oh my god, I'm actually older than almost everybody in this series."

Caitlin  10:39  

How old, how old is Treize supposed to be? 

Cathy  10:41  

He's like 23, or 24. 

Kat  10:42  

He's 19.

Cathy  10:43  

No, Zechs is 19.

Kat  10:44  

Oh, Zechs is 19. Right. 

Cathy  10:47  

I just the idea of giving people who, you know, would have either been in college or just graduate college in my worldview, huge robots. 

Kat  10:58  

I think the ages of all the characters gets obscured by the anime art style, you know?

Cathy  11:03  

Yeah. 

Kat  11:03  

In a lot of anime fandoms.

Mallory  11:04  

And when you're watching this, when you're a kid, you want to see yourself as the protagonist. So it makes sense that, you know, a 17 year old seems like old and cool, and I want to be that person. And then when you're 30, you're like, the 17 year old should not be at war. 

Kat  11:23  

Relevant is that we definitely watched Evangelion. That was our last series.

Caitlin  11:29  

I don't know, I think, I think Heero Yuy is doing fine in war. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest, as a 30 year old, I think these kids are much better at war than I would be. 

Cathy  11:39  

Well, so that's what I find kind of interesting, is that I think this series actually... I don't, I know this wasn't the point but when I rewatched it recently, or just like the first couple of episodes, it seemed, it made a lot of sense, because they were like 15 or 24. Like the series, actually stitches together... 

Caitlin  11:58  

Yeah. 

Cathy  11:58  

...really well, because of how young they are, and kind of like the purity of feeling that they have, which I think is 

Kat  12:05  

Yeah, it is, like 

Cathy  12:06  

only maybe 

Kat  12:07  

like that [indistinguishable?] 

Cathy  12:07  

which I think is like only really, truly possible because I have to think of them as like 15 or 21 or 19 year olds. that is not at all when I took away when I was watching in high school. Right? 

Mallory  12:21  

Well, I mean, right.

Caitlin  12:22  

Part of the ideology of Gundam in general is like trying to restore a form of hope, and youth to, like, young people growing up in Japan, who are the target audience for this, and this idea that, like, you still have the power to change the world, you still have the power to bring about peace in a way that you want, even though you're being manipulated and oppressed by all these crazy adults who make you pilot giant robots. So I think there's a significant, like part of the series is the fact that they are kids who have been recruited into child warfare, and now have to find some way out of that. And like my memory of the series is that even though most of, most of the decisions made are very bad, the kids in general are not making terrible decisions. They're making pretty good decisions.

Kat  13:12  

Yeah, the pilots themselves... 

Mallory  13:14  

[crosstalk] Yeah 

Kat  13:14  

...are like doing the best they can be doing in that circumstance. 

Cathy  13:17  

[crosstalk] Exactly, exactly

Kat  13:19  

But I think it's sort of interesting, 'cause it's like, to me Gundam Wing is definitely like a fandom era, because I think a lot of stuff exemplifies like...there's like a lot of tropes cycling through it. But also like, the series itself, is so perfectly...like, I think of it as a series that are so perfectly set up for fandom because there's a lot of like, here's my one episode mission, and we have to be at a safe house, I guess. And it's just like, a long interminable war. So there's like, a big, a lot of world building. Yeah, that creates all these spaces that sort of separate from all the political machinations of the series.

Caitlin  13:58  

And that's also I think, a lot of what it was meant to be when it was created within the Gundam franchise like it was it was designed to have sort of a BL appeal to girls writing for comic market and that sort of thing. So it had like the setup of five hot guys who you could combine in various forms. And then also like Gundam itself, in general, it's designed to be and a sort of open universe that you can step into at various points, which also facilitates fandom engagement 

Mallory  14:28  

[crosstalk] literal fandom bait. 

Caitlin  14:29  

usually in the form, yeah, usually in the form of model collecting, which is like one of the main Gundam forms of fandom which we probably won't talk about too much on the show. But you, you kind of

Kat  14:41  

Uh I've definitely built some Gundam models. 

Caitlin  14:43  

Yeah. Well, you will be the expert on that because I've never touched a Gundam model in my life. But that is like the big thing where you can you can get the model you can construct it, you can learn a little bit more about the, like, the technology and the different like details of the models and stuff like that. And it just gives you like a slight, like Little bit more of these like tiny narratives and that sort of what the fans are consuming rather than an overall plot that makes sense, which is not what Gundam has really.

Kat  15:11  

So Gundam [Wing] has like the cool robots but also these hot boys in them.

Caitlin  15:15  

That's what I want. 

Mallory  15:16  

I mean Well, that's exactly what I want to show right now. So it sounds perfect?

Kat  15:21  

Honestly, yeah.

Mallory  15:23  

I think Evangelion, sort of, because, Kat, you and I just finished -- or are almost finished with -- Neon Genesis Evangelion [Kat, crosstalk: we haven't done all the movies yet] which was also it was my first time [Cathy, crosstalk: Congratulations, laugh] watching the whole series...wow, grim 

Kat  15:40  

I also only consumed 

Mallory  15:42  

[crosstalk] grim 

Kat  15:42  

[crosstalk] I consumed it like piecemeal too 

Mallory  15:44  

And depressing

Kat  15:45  

It was great. 

Mallory  15:46  

Very good but um grim.

Kat  15:50  

Yeah it's pretty grim.

Cathy  15:52  

Yeah, it's interesting to me because I feel like Evangelion doesn't make a lot of sense as a cultural product unless you've consumed a series like Gundam or its ancestors before watching it and yet Evangelion is a lot of people's introduction to giant robot series. So I always find that kind of interesting...

Caitlin  16:13  

[crosstalk] It's very weird.

Cathy  16:14  

because it, it is subversive, and I think it's subversive even if you don't know the tropes of the giant robot series, of which Gundam is perhaps a prime example. Gundam Wing...

Kat  16:27  

So I was gonna ask that and like, would you say, since Evangelion is definitely a like the subversion of this genre, would you say Gundam Wing is like the type of series that it is subverting? Or do you think it's in a different place?

Caitlin  16:41  

Gundam Wing and Evangelion came out the same year? Gundam Wing is in some ways a, it's already like a parody form of the original iteration of Gundam. 

Kat  16:55  

Okay, so it's--is it like, um, like the pure essence of teens-robots.

Caitlin  17:02  

It's, it's more like, I feel like by the time of Gundam Wing, the tropes of the original Gundam series are so well set that a lot of things in Gundam Wing to, like the fans who watched the original Gundam or like later Gundams, seemed like a rehash but it was designed to bring in new fans. So something like Zechs Merquis is very clearly like a Char Aznable character. It's just sort of a reiteration of that.

Kat  17:29  

So is it like a Star Wars, like a Star Wars sequel?

Caitlin  17:33  

Like how the Force Awakens is kind of a rehash of yeah, of A New Hope. And then, but it still brings in a lot of fans and has appealing characters and good aesthetics

Kat  17:43  

Right, yeah, I guess I think of them, the two shows, as sort of like, splitting the take on... like, what would you say is like the ur-mecha show? 

Cathy  17:52  

The original Gundam 

Caitlin  17:54  

Original Gundam? 

Cathy  17:54  

Yeah, Mobile Suit Gundam. 

Caitlin  17:56  

I mean, they're, they're older iterations, there's other robot shows. But I feel like when people think of mecha, the first thing they think of is Mobile Suit Gundam. 

Cathy  18:06  

So the way like I now think of Gundam Wing after the fact of experiences I have now is that like Gundam Wing is actually a perfect like K-Pop boy band way that they built it and so if you can kind of think of it like that, like it's, you need enough of the tropes and symbols, so that everybody watches it and immediately knows it's a Gundam series.

Cathy  18:30  

Like the colors of Wing Gundam are so obviously 

Kat  18:34  

Yeah.

Cathy  18:34  

a Gundam Mecca and you need that you can't get away from it. And same thing with like Zech's having a mask it the reason I think of it as being in in the Kpop industry is like there's a derivative sense. And that's animated by both like Merchandising, and advertising and what audiences want but at the same time, it's like this incredibly pure understanding of what makes us like things? And like when you get that when you really get it, like, it doesn't matter how like, quote, unquote manipulative or exploitative it can seem like you love it. And that's enough, right to make it like a thing that we all want to keep coming back to.

Mallory  19:12  

And there's basically like, an archetype right? In  all of the different characters like you have the more

Kat  19:18  

Yeah, you have the serious one. 

Mallory  19:20  

That's what I was thinking.

Kat  19:21  

Like, the goofy one.

Mallory  19:23  

Yeah, the goofy one, the sort of mess 

Kat  19:25  

the ugly one, 

Mallory  19:26  

like really cute one.

Kat  19:29  

Yeah, that's why I was thinking American boy bands cuz they all have to have like a type of heartthrob. Yeah, I'm a bad boy. I love death.

Caitlin  19:38  

One of them's, one of them's a rapper.

Kat  19:40  

Okay, so we talked a little bit about how we got into it. We talked a little bit about fandoms. And we touched on pairings, do we want to go into pairings at all? Or like our fave characters, or who we think our fave characters will be Before this rewatch?

Cathy  19:54  

You know before we do that--Mallory, can you try to tell us what you think this series is about? I'm actually really curious, like before you do a complete viewing, like what? what is what is your understanding of what happens in Gundam Wing?

Mallory  20:08  

Um, there's a long interminable war. These boys are recruited by some shadowy government whatever. And they're piloting these mecha. Uugh, I just remember Duo being really annoying.

Caitlin  20:28  

[loud gasp] [laughter] [crosstalk] Oh my god.

Mallory  20:29  

I mean, not annoying, like, being sort of... 

Kat  20:32  

Wow. 

Mallory  20:33  

...the one the pushy one like, he's the challenging one to Heero's "I'm serious and dour." Literally, I have the most broad strokes impressions of what this show is. I just know it looked really fucking cool every time I saw it in, like, a commercial and couldn't watch it.

Cathy  20:55  

Fascinating.

Caitlin  20:57  

Honestly, even having seen Gundam Wing, I'm not sure I could explain it much better. I don't remember who recruited them.

Mallory  21:03  

Okay. Okay, that does make me feel better. Because I was like, Oh, I don't? Do I actually know what the show is? What am I getting myself into? 

Caitlin  21:14  

There's there's a lot of weird politics. 

Mallory  21:17  

Well, I'm really excited for that. And I don't mean that sarcastically. Like, I'm really excited to, to see what this world is like, because I remember, like images or impressions. But everything is like out of context. So it'll be cool to see what that context is. Like deja vu? Oh, I remember that. I've seen that in AMV.

Kat  21:48  

I remember this from fics that just rewrite scenes from this show.

Mallory  21:55  

Yeah, like, what do I know? What do I know of Gundam that is from fanfic only, or is actual canon? I'm curious to figure out.

Kat  22:10  

I think everyone's a lot less obnoxious in canon.

Caitlin  22:14  

That's true. 

Mallory  22:15  

Okay, okay. 

Caitlin  22:16  

This was a this was a really good fandom for the the fandom phenomenon of, you take a character's most, like, annoying trait, and you emphasize it like times 10 in your fanfic.

Cathy  22:28  

Yes.

Kat  22:28  

Yeah 

Caitlin  22:28  

Just so everybody knows you know what that character is like.

Kat  22:31  

Heero's gonna threaten to kill everybody all the time, constantly.

Caitlin  22:34  

"Omae o korosu."

Cathy  22:36  

[laughing crosstalk] And so, it's funny that you guys mentioned safe houses, because actually, there are very few safe houses in the original series. In fact, I think there's like maybe one or two scenes ever, where they are all in a safe house provided by one of their allies. And it's a really fascinating trope, because it like pervades the fanfic? But I remember, that I remember was like a big deal, like, I went back and I was like, actually, these people spend very little downtime with each other in the actual series and I find that fascinating.

Kat  23:12  

Right? So you have to fill it all in. 

Mallory  23:13  

Oh, wait, what?

Caitlin  23:14  

They actually barely know each other.

Cathy  23:16  

Yeah, they truly barely know each other. [crosstalk]

Mallory  23:18  

Wait. Oh no, I thought, I thought this was going to be like..

Kat  23:23  

[crosstalk] They actually never interact. 

Mallory  23:24  

we're going to get together and become like a team 

Caitlin  23:26  

No, no.

Cathy  23:26  

Absolutely not, 

Caitlin  23:27  

They don't fight together; It's 50 episodes of them not interacting. 

Cathy  23:31  

They, they literally have like, they like, there's probably one or two scenes in which all five of them are on the same battlefield at the same time. And almost every single one of those scenes involves them fighting with each other because like, 

Kat  23:44  

[crosstalk]Oh, yeah, they fight each other alone. 

Cathy  23:45  

What's going on? And this was the thing that I'm sure we'll come back to when I came back to this is when I was rewatching. It in college, I realized that of the two people who spend the most time with each other, it's like Trowa and Heero. Because, yes, it is what arc where they actually go on a road trip, which like, 

Kat  24:03  

it's great. I wrote a thing 

Cathy  24:04  

like wiped it from my memory when I was thinking about the series, but it really drives home. You know, again, to your point like what of this series do I did I remember that was just from fanfic, and was just what like the fanfic I read very specifically. And so that was one of the things is like, when you come back as an adult, I was like, all of this stuff is so much more interesting to me because like, I actually, like, I don't get me wrong, I still have shipping opinions. But like, I'm older and I have I I'm famous for this. And Kat knows this. I like don't have OTPs. And I'm like not very good about actually being very loyal to pairings. And so as an adult coming back to this, I was like, Oh, this is actually really interesting because the permutations that fandom came up with also came from, like,  non-canon material, because there's a lot of non-canon material, like promotional images that bear no resemblance whatsoever to canon. 

Kat  24:54  

Okay, I would,  I would call those extra canonical, right?

Caitlin  24:58  

No, they're, they're extra canonical, they count in some form. 

Kat  25:02  

Right? 'Cause they're official.

Cathy  25:04  

I guess so. I mean, sure, we'll talk about that as time comes but like.

Caitlin  25:08  

Listen, a canon is not just the story. It's the entire media mix around it. It's those, it's those things that you can collect. It's the extra manga. It's Frozen Teardrop, 

Cathy  25:18  

Like, Gundam Wing actually, I think is one of the few franchises I know where like "pair the spares" was a real merchandising tactic. 

Kat  25:26  

Yes, it was. 

Cathy  25:27  

And so, so everybody had somebody... gay, I mean, like, not like, 

Kat  25:34  

Wufei had two! 

Cathy  25:35  

They had a gay and a straight interest that they were paired up with. And so, um, so it's like, fascinating to me to come back and be like, actually, the canon is a lot more flexible and interesting than I remembered it.

Caitlin  25:49  

The canon for me is like, remarkable in its commitment to not officially putting anyone together. Like it was, it's very good at balancing out all of the different pairings that it wants to support. 

Mallory  26:01  

Mm hmm. 

Caitlin  26:02  

Um, it's interesting to see which ones got picked up as the main two in fandom, which for me, were always 1x2 and 3x4 dominated the fandom, because they're both like, friendly, maybe talkative, personable guy and like silent, brooding, weirdo, 

Kat  26:22  

Warrior. 

Caitlin  26:22  

What fandom loves! Fandom loves that exact dynamic in every form. And so like, what 1, 1 and 3, were never going to work together because they're both silent and brooding. Fandom was never gonna pick that up. It's too It's too boring. It's not dynamic enough, right?

Mallory  26:37  

Like, you can't fight. There's no banter,

Cathy  26:39  

Which is actually weird, because if you go back and watch the episodes, you'll see it. Heero actually is not that quiet. And Trowa is like a nutcase. And so 

Kat  26:48  

they're really funny together, 

Cathy  26:49  

when they are together, they're actually incredibly dynamic in ways that in fact, the canon doesn't establish 1x2, or 3x4 to be. And so it is really fascinating, because I do agree with Caitlin. What came out of this canon is very different from what I think the show gives. And I don't know the show was like, open minded because it wanted to sell as much merch as possible or

Caitlin  27:13  

It's that.

Cathy  27:13  

Yeah, so I don't know.

Mallory  27:14  

Capitalism.

Kat  27:16  

I am gonna say I think the show is a 3x4 shipper. Like I think if the show had a pairing, it would be a three, it would be 3x4, like from my recollections of the show

Mallory  27:26  

Yeah

Caitlin  27:26  

I always thought that was true. But now 

Cathy  27:28  

I disagree. 

Caitlin  27:29  

I feel like I'm gonna go into this and and be like, they never

Kat  27:32  

Nobody else has a musical interlude.

Cathy  27:34  

But the but the thing is, here's Okay, so not to, like, make this too much about the pairing... But I also think 1x2 and 3x4 become established. I put that in quotes early in the series. And so it becomes entrenched and people assume that that's the pairing. But actually, I just remember so strongly when I went back and rewatched that I was like, there really is not that much evidence for Trowa and Quatre's like instantaneous connection because Quatre has that with almost every other pilot, and Trowa's relationship with Heero is like so much more interesting when I come back to it, even though I definitely think they would never work. They would like killing each other and instead as an adult.

Kat  28:12  

And I mean, I love that pairing. And like the one thing that came out of my rewatch a million years ago was I wrote a 1x3 fic cuz I really love those episodes, and fandom didn't do anything with it. But I feel like, I feel like Quatre and Trowa are framed slightly differently than all the other potential pairings so that they could be together.

Cathy  28:33  

Even up until Endless Waltz like, I really just feel like that that was an early series thing. And then as you go on into the series, that relationship while still important, was not really emphasized any more or less.

Kat  28:47  

But I mean, if it, if it comes out of the gate strong, [laughter] like

Caitlin  28:51  

That's all that matters

Kat  28:52  

I still think that the show was pushing that one if it pitched. Like if it was giving the most evidence to any one of them, I think the early stuff was really like, ~look at this beautiful pairing.~

Caitlin  29:04  

So wait do we all want to, maybe to end this episode, we should all go through and predict what are OTP or pseudo OTP for Cathy will be by the end of this rewatch. 

Kat  29:16  

But also tell me your fave character because that's what I asked like, 15 minutes ago.

Cathy  29:21  

Okay, Kat you first.

Kat  29:23  

Oh, well, my favorite character has always been Duo Maxwell. And I'm predicting that he's still going to be my fave character. And I am going to stake my flag on Duo/Wufei, 2x5.

Cathy  29:36  

Mallory?

Mallory  29:37  

I think from what I remember, I really liked Trowa, I thought Heero was too dour, but I also think that I might relate to him a lot more this time around. So I'm going to say that Heero is going to be my favorite character. And I've always liked...see, I don't know about fandom pairings. I want to say it'll be...well it was Duo/Heero before? No, but I've-- I really like Duo/Wufei so, like, I think that's just always gonna be my Gundam Wing ship.

Cathy  30:20  

So when I was a kid watching it my favorite was Duo Maxwell, but I know from my prior rewatching, or attempts to rewatch the series, that as an older person coming into the series, I actually like the girls a lot more, like Relena and Dorothy and Noin became my favorite characters and I did not give them the credit they deserved when I was watching it as a younger person. 

Cathy  30:41  

I also was 1x2 shipper but again, I know that what I came out of the series really shipping was disastrous Heero/Trowa, and then Duo/Wufei.

Caitlin  30:56  

Okay, I see we are all Duo/Wufei fans now.

Kat  30:59  

[crosstalk] That's why this is going to be the superior Gundam Wing podcast.

Caitlin  31:02  

Yeah. I feel like so, my favorite character when I was originally watching as a kid was Quatre. I think probably because like I always liked like, the friendly blondes in boy bands? 

Kat  31:13  

That go apeshit? 

Caitlin  31:15  

When I got older, I was more into Duo and Duo is was probably still my favorite character. I was into Duo/Wufei for a long time. I just think that they are funny together and terrible. And I actually really like Wufei a lot. I sort of admire that fake honor sort of thing. But I, since everybody said Duo/Wufei, I feel like I should say something else, which is that I think that I will get more into 3x4 again after this rewatch, because it's a comforting pairing, in some ways. It's a return. And we're all very full of anxiety right now. [laughter] And so we just need Quatre and stupid, crazy Trowa, you know, having their pure love connection that fandom imagined for them from the beginning.

Kat  32:02  

It's real.

Mallory  32:03  

I look forward to it. 

Cathy  32:04  

I do too. I also look forward to hating Treize because that's what happened the last time I rewatched this. He's such a fuck boy.

Kat  32:12  

I'm excited to love Dorothy and Relena.

Cathy  32:14  

My god, they're so good. Yeah, they're so good. That's what I should have said is my favorite pairing.

Kat  32:20  

Fandom definitely ruined me for a little bit, like, "urgh, Relena!"

Caitlin  32:24  

When I was a kid, part of the appeal of Gundam Wing fandom was in some ways that it was so sexist, and so I could like act out my own internalized misogyny at the time. And so like, I like I was definitely participating in that of like a group breaking up the boys, whatever. And then in later iterations, I like love Relena. So.

Kat  32:45  

Yeah, she was just such an easy reason for them to get together, right? For 1x2, but in the show, she's way more than a plot device. So that was kind of frustrating.

Caitlin  32:56  

In the show, she's easily the most one of the most interesting and active characters for sure.

Kat  33:02  

As podcast Daddy, I declare Episode Zero officially over. Thank you everyone for your time and catch us in two weeks with Episode One: The boy whose wings killed adolescence.

Caitlin  33:16  

Byeeee [laughter]

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

[thornquillthefiendish]

A little thing (actually very big thing woah) on the three even though I haven’t really gotten anywhere near their designs yet.

Though I’m not fully caught up on the series due to being a bit lazy and also getting into the actual books really late since no bookstores near me sold them, I’ve seen enough amvs and read enough of the books to know the basic gist of things, especially since I got into warriors around the same time of omen of the stars coming out and weirdly enough one of the only books (and the first warriors book I ever got) I physically own is night whispers which was weird to get into because it wasn’t even the beginning of that arc damn it, but that’s not the point. The point is that from what I’ve read, seen, and heard of (still reading through the series damn it, do not even care for spoilers at this point) I kinda wish things had gone differently.

First off, in this AU I want ashfur to instead have fallen in love with Brambleclaw, who in this AU gets a slight name change to Bramblepelt, mostly so he has a connection to his sister, Tawnypelt, no matter how far apart they are. Ashfur is originally good friends with squirrelflight (renamed Redflight after Redtail) and this friendship is severed when her and Bramblepelt begin seeing each other. Redflight never really gets into relationships with other toms in this, it’s just an off and on relationship, with her going to her friends and family for comfort, this including Ash for awhile until he distances himself completely from her. The plot against firestar, or in this AU, Ravenstar, is actually so he can gain Bramblepelt’s favor in some way, as he believed when Bramblepelt became leader after his death, he’d be able to admit he helped Hawkfrost and that Bramblepelt would be pleased with him. It didn’t work though, and Ashfur slowly began to blame the object of his affections.

Meanwhile, Leafpool still has her thing with Crowfeather, who is developed a bit differently in this AU and not as much as an Asshole as he is in canon. I think their relationship spurred after Redflight introduced her to him at a gathering, as ofc one of the toms who went on the journey with her since I think they’d be close buds here. The relationship spirals out of control and ofc leafpool decides she can no longer continue this relationship and the two amicably decide to end it. Then leafpool finds out she’s pregnant.

Now we can get into the main bbs, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf and Jayfeather. These three will have parts of them swapped, though overall their personalities are unchanged, except for Lionblaze. Lionblaze grows up to be a softy, he originally wants to become Medicine cat, but the stars instead have him become a warrior. His suffix doesn’t match his personality at all, and most are very confused as to why he isn’t in the medicine den, almost just as confused as to why he’s so damn strong. He’s not amazing at tactics, but has amazing brute strength, which he hates. He’s really close with Leafpool, and loves his parents dearly. He also sees himself as close with Ashfur, who constantly wants to distance himself from him. He instead loses his powers due to the following.

Jayfeather remains the same, but instead of lionblaze being the one to train in the df, it’s him. After he is eventually judged rather forcefully into becoming a Medicine cat, Jaypaw awakes in the dark forest, where the cats there train him to hone his fighting skills beneath everyone’s noses. Eventually, he realizes the dark pull the dark forest has on him and abandons it completely, though most cats are very suspicious as to why he has noticeable muscles and scars on him. He’s mostly unchanged besides that, and secretly being a great fighter despite his blindness. He got a lot closer to Redflight than he did to Bramblepelt, though he ofc still loves him. Redflight also consistently tried to get him to become a warrior no matter what, and was heart broken for him when he eventually had to become a led cat.

Hollyleaf barely changes, but her better qualities are more exaggerated. She’s a deligent warrior who knows the code word by word and has amazing battle tactics and a good head on her shoulders. She’s the glue that holds her siblings together and the mediator, very calm and logical. She’s a daddy’s gal, Bramblepelt would always cheer his kits on, no matter what they chose to do, and he could tell Holly wanted to become something greater as a kit, so he always incouraged her. She gains her own power in this, which is basically very similar to a Sherlock Holmes thing, she can observe small, insignificant details to anyone else and eventually piece together the entire image rather quickly, she may also have the ability to see into the past in brief flashes, but only of the place she currently stands in.

This is where the even bigger changes happen.

So the fire scene happens, Ashfur gleefully ready to let the kits of his beloved and their mate die in a fire so that he can further torture Redflight. Redflight forces herself to act as if she doesn’t care, because the kits aren’t hers. Ashfur, shocked, and equally pleased, let’s them live, planning to eventually tell Bramblepelt and turn him against his own family.

Instead of Hollyleaf being greatly distraught, it’s Lionblaze. Lionblaze, who trained for moons with Ashfur, who loved and trusted his parents, and had known nothing, but being kind and gentle, felt an immense hatred build up inside him. This is what leads him to kill Ashfur. Hollyleaf stumbles onto the scene, and though horrified, helps her brother cover the murder up so that he would not be blamed. Lionblaze becomes a wreck, unable to quite forgive himself for what he’s done, and inevitably regretting it, as if Ashfur haunts his every step.

Hollyleaf grows weary as she watches her family fall apart, and her poor brother grow sicker and sicker with the stress of what he’s done, but she also grows angrier. She eventually is able to piece together everything she currently knows about her family, and is able to get information from cats outside of her family, piecing together that her parents are actually Leafpool and Crowfeather with what some would call very little information. She is disgusted by this, and begins to blame Leafpool and Crowfeather for her family’s pain.

Jayfeather attempts to move on, he attempts to live the life he’s been given the best he can, only distancing himself from his family. The glue that was Hollyleaf is running dry as she becomes more and more obsessed with justice, with finding someone to blame, anyone. Jayfeather falls into a silent depression, he hides his feelings on the topic and focuses on the prophecy.

Eventually Hollyleaf reveals that Lionblaze killed Ashfur and that her and her siblings parents are Leafpool and Crowfeather. Chaos ensues, and Hollyleaf quickly comes to realize that everything has been made worse. She blames herself, but still not as greatly as her biological parents. She still tells Leafpool to eat the death berries, but her reasoning is instead due to the pain and grief her family, her real family has gone through all leading back to her. Leafpool expresses that she had no other choice, she couldn’t be a mother and she knew it, and she couldn’t leave her duties, and now that everything was said and done, she’d rather be dead than have put all of them through this. Hollyleaf has a brief moment of clarity, of sympathy for Leafpool, not quite sure how to feel at all about this, and when Jayfeather walks in on them, she panics. She runs off, towards the tunnels, the self hatred in her building up as she comes to the conclusion that there wouldn’t be this much hurt if she hadn’t opened her mouth.

She runs into the tunnels, and it of course caves in, Lionblaze and Jayfeather watching as their sister dies (but not really), and instantly turning against each other, Jayfeather blames Lionblaze, arguing the only reason she did any of this was to defend him, and that he did not once attempt to lift the weight off her shoulders, Lionblaze, enraged, attacks Jayfeather, and is interrupted by Bramblepelt and Redflight breaking up the fight. Redflight begs for them to apologize to each other, that they’re all that they have now, and Lionblaze, still heated and angry snaps back that Redflight isn’t their mother, that they aren’t family. He marches off, Leaving his adoptive parents with a slightly scratched, but alright Jayfeather, who attempts to comfort his mother as he breaks to her the terrible news.

After the fact, the entire family is mostly split, Leafpool and Redflight comfort each other, Bramblepelt has no real clue on how to feel and what to think, and Jayfeather and Lionblaze completely distance themselves from each other and their families. Eventually, very slowly, the two brothers become close again, just as Bramblepelt and Redflight forgive each other. They start to heal. Lionblaze figures out he’s lost his power, and Jayfeather and him become very confused. Though lionblaze is glad, but this means he’s no longer apart of the prophecy, which begs the question.

Who’s the third and second cat?

In their minds, Hollyleaf is dead, meaning the second cat is dead as well, and Jayfeather takes this to mean the prophecy might be dead too. That is until Dovepaw comes around, and adds even more questions to the entire thing. If the prophecy isn’t dead, there’s another cat out there who’s going to join them. Even though Lionblaze no longer is apart of the prophecy, he helps Jayfeather since he was for so long.

Meanwhile, Hollyleaf is spending time finding herself with Fallen Leaves, and basically mothering a Fox kit. This gives her time to think about herself and what she’s done, and eventually, forgive herself. She thinks she’s no longer apart of the prophecy, but is proven wrong when she is able to see into Fallen’s past while in the tunnels. She then realizes she needs to go back home to help her clan.

I think everything basically is very similar to the books up until the battle, where Hollyleaf lives because fuCK YOU. Instead of dying, she gets lots of heavy wounds before Bramblepelt swoops on to try to save her, but gets overwhelmed quickly. Surprise though, Ashfur (who joins the df instead since before he died in this au he might’ve been involved with them via Hawk) turns against Hawkfrost, dies during battle, and before things can escalate any further, Tigerstar is killed and everyone retreats.

After the fact, the three lose their powers, and StarClan makes it known to Bramble and Leaf that Jayfeather and Lionblaze can now follow their wanted paths in life. A ceremony is held where Jayfeather becomes a warrior and is named Jayfire after his grandpa, and Lionblaze becomes a Medcat and is named Lionflower, after his grandmother Goldenflower (also technically Lionheart). Redflight still becomes dep, but I plan to make holly her dep for when she becomes leader. Also CinderHolly or Hollycinder is real here and Lionflower is the surrogate father which is allowed since he won’t be raising the kits. Jayfire becomes a great fighter, and becomes really popular thtoughout the clans to his own dismay. He’s still a grumpy lil shit, just the way I love him.

Spark and Alder are still born, ofc, they have a more sibling esc relationship with the three since bramble and red don’t just drop their adoptive kits out of their family because they’re not theirs and that’s how family works. Alder becomes med not due to being a bit behind, but go geniunely getting into Medicine cat duties by being really close with Lionflower. Bramblestar encourages his sons choice because he’s gonna act like an actual fucking father and not an idiot please.

Holy shit this post is long. I’m not even done with the first and second arc what am I doing.

[ghostonthestars]

On my way-Wander Over Yonder AMV

Hi! I made a new Wander over Yonder video using the song “On my Way” from the soundtrack of the movie “Brother bear”. I hope you like it!!!

I haven´t been really active in the last year. I deleted my last blog in a crisis. I have somethings to express about it.

1. About Wander Over Yonder.

I haven’t watch WOY in a year. I remember, sometime ago, it used to be trending topic the day 27 of each month. When we didn’t achieved that anymore, I kind of started loosing hope. I kind of accept we weren´t going to see a third season.

So I stopped participating. Wander Over Yonder is one of my special interest; but after that, anything that was related to it made me...sad. 

After that, I would’nt want to see anything related. 

But, this feeling was also because I was depressed. I have been getting help and I have been feeling better. I still feel sad about the lack of a third season, though I think, deep inside, I am still hoping we could help this show to have a proper ending.

2. About my health.

Last year, I moved to the University. I am autistic, and changes can trigger me. It is really difficult for me to adapt, and it was really difficult to be away from my friends. It was hard to do my task; and in the middle of the first year, I discovered I didn’t like what I was studying. So I spent most of my days feeling really miserable. 

I feel like this year didn’t happened. Or it happened really fast, with nothing exceptional on it6. I am receiving help and support and working on being happy and on taking care of myself. Watching Wander Over Yonder helps me a lot doing this. I still believe I can’t participate a lot. I won’t be participating on this month trending 27 because looking forward to the third season is still kind of hard for me. 

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hey just so you know your art is really shitty. I am talking about the one you did about book hiccup.

Oh you sweet, sweet summer chiiiiild!!!

I was drawing “shit” like this when I was sixteen - ten years ago! Ten years ago, and I could draw like this!

So why would I care what someone thinks of a small, five minute, no-erase doodle of mine? ^.^ 

Honestly, I’m in the middle of an artistic euphoria phase right now. Like, I’m legit having so much fun with visual arts - more than I have for years - and I’m delighted. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to talk about this latest exciting experience in my life! Maybe this’ll inspire some others as well? Art has been a highlight of the last few months, and even getting going on the topic now, chatting with you, is getting me happy and inspired and ready to tear out the next sheet of paper for a new bout of creativity. I’m trying my best not to start drawing NOW because of the topic you’ve brought up!

I’m working on proportions and muscle groups and more dynamic poses and figuring out digital art and testing new traditional art mediums and it’s just been a BLAST of creativity and exploration. I’m trying to figure out new styles for myself, branching WAY beyond my childhood focus of photorealism, into everything down to anime-style personalities. I’ve even checked out 3D modeling, dudes! I’m planning on exploring with cityscapes and character design and shape and color and... guys... guys... it’s literally such an exciting time for me right now. 

Art is AMAZING fun!!! What a blessing it is to create something wholly new, with the stamp of our personality, out of complete nothingness? I turned the nothingness of a piece of paper into my personality and a work of creativity. DUDE THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! Humans are so amazing in our ability to endlessly create. I think creating is one of the greatest powers and blessings our species has to offer.

Being a visual artist by hobby isn’t about improving. It isn’t even about being good. It’s about having fun. My wonderful dragon-loving friends, don’t for a second think that your artwork needs to be to some sort of quality, because it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter. If you want to improve, that’s awesome, and I’m rooting for you to have some exciting experiences of self-discovery and growth. That can be an exciting time, to go through growth, and it’s well-worth your commendable, diligent efforts. But it’s also 100% fair if you go into a hobby without desiring to improve. You don’t need to improve - you’re not in some competition where your rent’s pay hinges on drawing - you just need to enjoy yourself. There is nothing shameful about “shitty” art - it’s in fact one of the coolest things you can do, because it engages your mind and your creativity and your own unique stamp of human beauty that no other soul can give. And if you share it, you’re sharing a part of yourself, and we get to see the beautiful treasure you and your mind are!

Some of my favorite things I’ve ever seen are stick people. DRAW your stick people! Do it all!!!

I’m so thankful for everyone who shares their art on tumblr in the fandom community. Not just the people who do polished digital work, but everyone. People who are starting to figure out what a tablet is. People who haven’t touched a colored pencil in ten years. People who draw five minute scratches. People who spend thirty-seven hours on a painting. You contribute to the world of fandom, the beautiful world of fandom. Together we celebrate what it is we mutually love about our fandoms, and make this a community in which creativity and celebration and positivity is resplendent. It’s because of people like you - ALL of you - that you build this incredible environment.

I’m in the middle of a phase where I think I’m going to be making rapid advances in my artwork soon. Maybe if there’s something really cool I’ll share it with ya’ll! There’s a 50% chance I might be getting a new art tablet soon, which will unfetter all the struggles I’ve had with digital art preventing me from improving there. And there’s so many ideas I have! Guys, there’s so many ideas! So much art to put down and explore and hgghghghhhh! I’m excited.

Of course this is all on top of my other hobbies. I love being a jack of all trades and master of none. Every day’s something new to explore. I’m a conlanger and I make my own languages. I’m a creative writer and I’m planning on charging deep into a single original novel that I hope I can publish. I’m a chronic worldbuilder who loves thinking about everything from the geographic history of the world to the culture’s technology to what the cities look like to the individual culture’s elements - be it gestures, taboo language, courting rituals, what have you! I’m a music composer and I even got a Bachelor’s of Music in Composition; I’ve learned how to play over a dozen instruments; I’m itching to make covers and suites of material I love. I used to make gifs and I still miss it - maybe I’ll get back into the swing of it sometime? I made one AMV and maybe I’ll make another - I’ve always loved video editing (I did Lego stop motion stuff in the junior high, after all). And of course I want to keep writing fandom meta for all the stories that have touched my heart, be it Fullmetal Alchemist or How to Train Your Dragon or Voltron: Legendary Defender or Mass Effect or anything else. I’m hoping that I’ll get some good bursts of activity on cosplay, too! I need to work on my sewing - 2019 shall be the perfect year for it, don’t you think?

Life’s so exciting and rich and beautiful. There’s so much creativity to be had. So much to do. So much to explore.

And who gives a flipping rat’s fart if I’m not The Best(TM) of the universe? XD That’s not the true reason to create ANYTHING!

I’ve got a fuckton of weaknesses in my artistic pursuits and that doesn’t make me an ounce less awesome. Having weaknesses makes my artistic life BETTER. I honestly believe it; they make me happy. I’m excited that I have weaknesses in my visual arts abilities because it means I’m going through this period of growth. Where would be my fun if I were perfect already? I’m having a blast not because my art is perfect, but because it’s IMPERFECT. I both like what I can do already and I know ALL the areas where it needs improving - allowing me new areas to dive further and reach new goals. It’s giving me life goals, trajectory, and celebrations every time I draw something new and better than what I made last month. 

A childish, petty, and honestly rather uncreative insult isn’t going to make me blink. I know how amazing I am. I’m a powerhouse, powerfully creative, Renaissance man level talented bonfire who can do everything from advanced level linguistic scientific study to composing contemporary classical art music. I know what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. I’ve got great weaknesses, and that’s totally chill!

I’m sorry, friend, but the only thing your message does is show how much of a naive child you are. You ignorantly think that a laughably uninteresting, child-level insult is going to affect an adult who is confident and grown in themselves. You don’t know your audience. Even if you were right that my art is shit - which it’s not - it doesn’t matter to me. My identity is more than one cute doodle with Hiccup and Toothless. It’s a shame because I’m sure you have so much positive beauty you could contribute to this world. Why waste your time with this, when it literally could not be more of a waste of your time?

What positive creativity have you done?

I encourage us all to contribute to the beauty of our community. Let’s take this moment to be an inspiration point. Let’s create together. Let’s give people reasons to smile. Let’s share posts we love and talk about why we love them. Let’s draw and write and sing and dance our way through what we love. Let’s give positive feedback on the fanfiction people wrote for us for free. Let’s send compliments to one another - that’s a legitimate form of creation and it’s one of the best. Let’s let our personalities sparkle. Kindness is so awesome. You all are so awesome.

I’m so thankful to live in a community like this, where every day I’m bombarded with incredible magic - the magic you all have created.

As for my Hiccup drawing, the HTTYD book community has a cool event going on celebrating the Twelve Days of Doomsday. I encourage you all to participate and enjoy Cressida Cowell’s works with me!!!

Who knows? Maybe I’ll have time for a few more Hiccup doodles in the next dozen days!

[digikate813]

My Little Pony Re-Watch: Episode 30 Luna Eclipsed

*Here’s a fun fact. This was the first episode of Friendship is Magic I ever saw. I kept seeing Luna around in AMVs (those ones that use cartoon characters from all different shows) and since she looked cool and it seemed like she was an anti hero of some kind, I wanted to find the episode she was featured in out of pure curiosity, and that was this one! Which was luckily on since it was close to Halloween at the time.

*This may technically be the Halloween episode, but it centers around the Equestrian holiday, Nightmare Night. And what i really appreciate about the creation of a new holiday for this world is that it’s not just Halloween with a new name. It has a lot of the same traditions of course, but there’s Equestrian history behind them. All centered around the used to be legend of Nightmare Moon.

*Adding more to the fact that Nightmare Moon’s reign seemed ot be more legend then historical fact until recently, but the twists they take on the traditions we know nad love are pretty creative. Wearing costumes so Nightmare Moon can’t find them. Gathering candy as a sort of peace offering to a statue of Nightmare Moon in the forest that we have never seen before and, will never see again, but at least it looks cool, so she won’t eat the children. Some of it might be kind of messed up, but Halloween is all about scarring kids for life. It’s part of the fun! The whole history of Nightmare Night is just more creativity unique to this world that I appreciate.

*This is also the first mention of the ancient scapegoat of the lore sorcerer, Star Swirl the Bearded. Love him or hate him, this is a historic moment in the show’s world building.

*Also Twilight goes out dressed in a handmade costume of someone she thinks is really cool but no one else know’s what she is. That was pretty much every Halloween for me. I relate. 

*A really fun part of Halloween episodes is seeing what costumes they choose for each character. And with a celebration the whole town is involved in, there are some very creative costume designs and choices here. I’m not gonna go through all of them but I did want to point out Rainbow Dash dressed as one of the Shadowbolts from the first episode. A perfect choice to be sure, but there’s also the great detail of seeing it poorly stitched together. Emphasizing that it’s clearly a homemade costume since the Shadowbolts technically don’t exist. It’s small, but it’s details like that that make the world feel more real to me.

*And i swear there is somepony in the background dressed as Daring Do. It could just be a regular safari outfit, but I prefer to think of it as foreshadowing. Let me have my delusions.

*This episode also introduces Pipsqueak. A little colt from Trottingham (oh these names) Not much to say about him but he’s adorable and fairly popular, so his first appearance was at least worth a mention. But is it just me or does his voice keep changing. Sometimes he has the accent, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he sounds like a kid, sometimes he sounds like an adult playing a kid. Did anyone else notice that?

*I’m also pleased to see Zecora play such an active role in the Nightmare Night celebration. Makes me a bit surprised she doesn’t get a moment with the festival’s surprise guest.

*Time for the star of the show! And after what I’m sure was anxious anticipation, Luna finally makes another appearance with a memorable entrance. A carriage pulled by the first bat ponies we’ve seen, and sporting a new design. I can’t remember the thought process behind the change, but I think it looks way cooler.

*Luna may have instantly been turned back to good thanks to the Elements of Harmony, but she’s still having trouble adjusting back into society. Which makes sense given that she’s been gone for 1,000 years, and might explain why we haven’t seen her since she was reformed. Even though the official reason is that Hasbro thought since she used to be a villain, she’d be “too scary” for younger viewers. And then she went on to become the most popular character at the time. Good work Hasbro. 

*This is something I really love about Friendship is Magic. When they bring back former villains for future appearances, they take the time to integrate them back into society. And that it takes work. The townspeople are still scared of Luna, and the trouble she has communicating with them is only making things more difficult. Luna’s struggle is summed up kind of perfectly in a line she has after a couple of failed attempts to fit in. “they have never liked us. And they never shall” This line is generally overlooked, but it says so much to me about Luna’s mindset. The whole reason she became Nightmare Moon was because she felt underappreciated and unloved by her people. And in doing so, she only made her relationship with her subjects more difficult. Even when she’s making a genuine effort to win them over.

*This is honestly one of Twilight’s best endeavors. It shows how far she comes and might even one of the first signs of the potential she has to fill her future role. She approaches Luna when the others reject her, and does everything she can to help her fit in.It’s the kind of thing the show would represent many times over in the future. That you should give others a chance when they want to make a genuine effort to be better.

*Luna’s lesson with Fluttershy to help her speak better will never cease ot make me laugh. The timing is perfect and it’s adorable and I love it.

*The fun has been doubled! Still one of Luna’s most iconic lines, and to be fair, unlike some other liens from the show that became meme worthy, this one is really applicable to any situation. I’ve used it.

*Personally there’s a lot of great lines in this one for me. I love the dialogue in this episode.

*Let’s take a second to address Pinkie’s actions. Running away form Nightmare Moon saying she’s going to eat everypony like the legends say. Yes this is one of those Pinkie appearances where her over the top antics only make things worse, but we later see that that was just Pinkie’s way of having fun on Nightmare Night. Because sometimes it’s fun to be scared (like i said before. remember?). Now in the wrong hands, that could have come off as an excuse, but since it leads to the ultimate resolution, I think it’s okay. And i think if she had known it was hurting Luna’s feelings, she would have stopped. Maybe i should be harsher about this, but Pinkie has had far worse appearances in the show.

*So Luna can apparently change back into her form as Nightmare Moon? Interesting....

*This is another great message, and like i said, one the show reinforces as it goes on. That things and situations my seem foreign and scary. But when you take the time to look deeper and offer them a chance at friendship, you can see a whole new side to them. Luna was trying to move on from her past as Nightmare Moon and try to be like everypony else. But it was only when she embraced her title as the Princess of the Night, that she found out why this holiday is so special, an it wouldn’t exist without her. And once the kids accepted her, the townsfolk joined and were pleased to have her be part of the festivities. Luna finally found out how to be loved by her subjects. To fit in while at the same time being herself. And I’m sure that extra layer of sympathy only made Luna more popular to the fans.

This episode is obviously special to me since it was the first one i gave a chance. And while this kind of intricate analysis was not my first thought when I watched it, I thought it was cute and had something going for it. While it would be a couple of weeks after this until I became a full on fan, this certainly peaked my curiosity, and something about it kept me watching. And i am quite grateful for that! Next Time: Sisterhoove Social!

[devintrinidad]

10 GIFs of Anime that You Love, Then Tag 10 People

Just got tagged by @chemicalflashes.

Durarara

One of the first few anime I watched. I adored how the intricate stories were intertwined with others; how a bystander in one scene could be a hero or a villain in another. A choice that one makes can easily have devestaring consequences. And of course, the mastermind himself: Orihara Izaya.

Death Note

Oldie, yes. Overrated, probably. Completely worth watching and still able to discuss a decade after completion? Along with a few movies, musical adaptations, and a live action remake? Oh, yes!

Favorite characters are Near and Misa. The former for his cool nature that resembles L’s, but ultimately serves as a better allegory for Justice because he doesn’t find Kira for fun. No, he captures and probably would have him imprisoned for life because it’s his duty as L’s successor. He’s also heavily under-appreciated by the fandom. The latter for her adaptability and unpredictability in situations. Did you guys watch the Yorsuba arc? The girl was calculating how cute she was going to be. Plus, she’s not mentally well (her parents were murdered in front of her), but she still managed to handle herself SO WELL during her time as a prisoner under L’s inhuman methods to seek out the Second Kira. Again, she’s under-appreciated.

Death Parade

Brilliant idea. Has a possible tie in to Death Note. The opening was laughably so misleading!

There are some flaws, like plot holes and unfinished storylines, but it held up pretty well. We learned about the characters through how they interact with one another—especially when put under pressure. The Arbiters are amazing in that they can’t question the system, and yet, in the end, Decim tries to understand and formulate how Chiyuki is going to be finally put to rest.

If nothing else, just watch for the skating scene and the opening sequence.

Cells at Work (Hataraku Saibou)

How could I not add this show??? I’m not that great science, but I have been intimately acquainted with how the body works (I’m frankly disappointed no one has called 1146 a granulocyte yet and we haven’t seen any neurons in the manga 😞). Also...3803 is basically me: I’m terrible at directions, I’m continuously learning new things because I moved away, and the way she met 1146...is kind of how I met my best friend, hehehe.

That said, I’m really in love with this anime/manga fandom and hope to continue writing for it. (Insert self promotion: please read my fanfics on my main platform which is ffnet!)

Another reason why I love CAW...

The neutrophil squad.

...and wbc x rbc...and by that, I mean any or all of those wbc squad can get paired with 3803. Because I have a soft spot for reverse harems. *cough Ouran High School Host Club*

Hetalia: Axis Powers

This show made me love geography and my country so much. It’s funny, it’s hilarious, and it’s so heartwarming how the fandom likes to make all sorts of fanmade stuff to expand on what Hima-papa gives us. (YES, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018, I SHALL REFER TO HIMARYU-SENSEI AS HIMA-PAPA. FIGHT ME.)

Is Hetalia dead? I don’t know, but the fandom and one particular FanFiction by @cultureandseptember really helped me out a few years back.

Bungou Stray Dogs

I love literature, good looking animation, and smarmy little know-it-alls who like to play the fool. Hehehe, I’m planning on reading No Longer Human when I get the time. Does that mean Osamu Dazai is my favorite character? Well...

Can you blame me if I said yes? He’s so charming and enigmatic that you can’t help but love him. However, I think I really love him because I struggle with dark thoughts and suicidal ideation from time to time. I haven’t actively sought it out quite like he has in the past, but well... hehehe! I can also relate because he’s kind of like an outsider in the Agency due to his past—he’s different because he can’t actively cancel out your abilities, which always makes him a threat.

Anywhoozles, I’m still waiting to see the movie...Le sigh.

K Project

This. This is not the best anime out there. Seriously.

The animation gets wonky here and there, they do the women in here a huge disservice, and they put too much emphasis on how great Mikoto Suoh. Like, he’s great and all, but the dude has no effect on the story except for the last season.

With that said, I think the main selling point here isn’t the anime, but the side materials like the manga/novels. You get to appreciate the backstories of so many of the characters and you get to feel for them because some of them have suffered so much! (Read: Fushimi Saruhiko).

I think you can get the same amount of enjoyment if you stick to the novels/manga.

Favorite characters: Scepter 4 Alphabet Squad. They are the best boys. Also, Lieutenant Awashima Seri. And Fushimi Saruhiko. You know what? Just put down Blue Clan here. They’re all nerds and they enjoy it.

Also: Domyoiji Andy reminds me of U-4989 from CAW. So...

Violet Evergarden

Remember how I said that I liked literature? This entire anime is about the power of not only the written word, but of also the act of writing, sending, and receiving those words. The anime may be episodic in nature, but you can really connect with the character through her terrible backstory and really feel for her when she realizes that she needs to face her past. PTSD is real and I think the anime really handled the post war aspect of this torn down world really well.

I’m also a sucker for typewriters, steam punk, and characters that don’t really know how to function in society (but learn over the course of the story).

Watch this if you want feels...and get ready for episode ten.

Samurai Champloo

This takes place in feudal era Japan.

But there’s rapping.

And breakdancing.

And guys spraying paint everywhere.

Also, there’s a sunflower samurai we gotta look for???

Hahahah, while episodic in nature, this was a joy to watch. You never get to know the characters really well and when we reach our mission’s end, it seems to fall short, but it’s not about that. The journey is what makes this anime worth it simply because the characters interactions are rife with hilarity and all three mains balance each other out. There’s a fanfic out there that describes them in detail, but in a succinct manner that had me melting. (https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2351750/1/The-Order-of-Things) check it out when you have the time.

Anyway, for those of you who have watched it, I sincerely hope that they meet again in the future.

(But, let’s be real. They probably didn’t).

Tokyo Mew Mew

Guys.

This isn’t a joke.

I have a soft spot for this anime because this was my first ever anime I watched where I realized that this was anime. This was like my gateway anime. Not Sailor Moon. Not Naruto.

This.

Looking back on this, it wasn’t the best—it’s your typical monster of the week deal with some environmental activism involved but for what it’s worth...it’s good??? Like, even the 4Kids dub (DONT CRUCIFY ME) even added some songs that were really great??? Bree Sharp’s Don’t Wake Me Up was my jam??? It fit better than the original Japanese counterpart???

TMM also introduced me to shipping, FanFiction, and amvs. That’s right, without this little gem, I would be writing/writing/thinking about FanFiction. I probably wouldn’t have been an anime watcher without this magical girl anime from the early 2000s.

So, yeah. This anime will always have a place in my heart because without it, I probably wouldn’t have become the person I am today. Thank you, Tokyo Mew Mew.

(This was also the birth of my first OTP before I knew what OTPs were: Kisshu/Ichigo...although nowadays, people are calling them Quiche/Strawberry? Hehehe, there’s so many things wrong here, I only like interactions, not the implications. That’s why I’m completely okay with Aoyama/Ichigo being endgame—and they’re actually really cute in the sequel manga???)

Honorable mentions (because I only thought of these now after I wrote analyses and gifs):

Five Centimeters Per Second

Ouran High School Host Club

Kimi no Nawa

Wolf Children

Psycho Pass

Trigun

(There’s like a dozen more, but nah. I’m good).

Aaaaaaaaaand that’s a wrap!!!

I’m tagging everyone who reads this! MWUAJAHAHAH!

I’m kidding; I don’t have that many friends here (if any) who are into anime so, umm...try it!

Thanks to @chemicalflashes for this amazing opportunity to find out why I love anime so much!

[itstimetodrew]

I had my last day of classes today! Ever! Time to reflect on my time as an undergrad lol

When I went to college I thought there was no way it could go faster than high school because it was such a huge change. I was a big homebody, so going to a school only 2 hours from home made me miserable my first couple weeks as a freshman. I would cry multiple times a day and didn’t eat much. I was filled with so much anxiety! What if I didn’t make friends? What if I was just isolated and alone? What if the work was too hard? What if I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life?

Those fears didn’t come true...mostly. It definitely was my most awkward and uncomfortable year. My roommates (all 11 of them) were more social than me, so I did end up feeling pretty isolated. And I definitely didn’t know what I wanted to do as a career! But that constant discomfort pushed me to try a lot of new things. My comfort zone was totally demolished, so there was little risk in attending events I’d otherwise have no interest in. I channeled all my nervousness and negativity into keeping myself busy with homework and even some exercise, so it was pretty productive!

Sophomore and Junior year I slipped back into my comfort zone. I had a place to myself and a new major that fit better. I joined an on-campus organization where I gained learned to research and have hour-long presentation each week. It wasn’t always fun work, but I felt good learning such crucial skills! I also worked a bit in spare time, so it was a great balance! I had the opportunity to work with software and look back at my old AMV editing passion. I learned how to work with After Effects for motion graphics and got pretty into it! Even now I think it’s something I’d like to stick with and use as part of whatever job I go for.

Going into senior year, I thought I would feel a lot more prepared than I actually do. I think I’m really quite under prepared when measuring against most students. I’m always asked what kind of job I want, if I’m going to do anymore schooling, have I applied for anything, and the answer is always...I don’t know! With my graduation ceremony on Sunday, I still haven’t so much as applied to any positions. 

I guess along the way I was hoping something would just click for me. I’d find something that I was good at and felt passionate about! And then it would be smooth sailing! But I still haven’t reached that. The scary thought is that perhaps I never will? I realized I’m the type of person who craves monotony and predictability, but then I’m quick to wonder if that’s a waste of my time. So if no career path pleases me...that’s gonna be a rough time. Other than degrees being needed for so many jobs now, I think I looked at college as a magical place to find my passion while stalling for time to join the ‘real world’. It’s the end of the line now because I can’t keep putting off time and sink money by going to graduate school, especially if I don’t have a strong area of interest. So I guess it’s just a ‘lets try and see what happens’ approach at this point?

Overall, I’m happy with my time in college! It caters to my nature of wanting to sample everything. I took classes on food science, video games, and learned some basic Japanese! Maybe I didn’t get some kickass internship, and I certainly don’t have that concrete goal in my mind, but I’m happy I got involved and learned new skills. I met great people and improved myself along the way. It went fast, but I sure made it worth the time!

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

I’m Going To Try To Relax And Try Not To Think Of That Disgusting Stuff That Peeves Me Off...And I Hope For A New Place Other Than Youtube.

You Do Not Have To Read This, It Is Mostly To Get Some Feelings Out.

I just want to try to relax, and try not to think about knowing how there was a injustice so many centuries ago.

Angels who have the skills and the training to protect life,

but do nothing to protect a life that has hardly started

(I’m speaking of when Jesus was a baby, and all those baby boys around his age, died.)

are no better than demons.

at least some Angels are off the hook, even the ones who weren’t even born yet, and even some Earth Angels who haven’t reached the Adult Age in Angel Years.....which I guess would be in the same years as demons.

I was in the middle of playing on the Xbox, well I was watching anime before,

one of the DVDs I got, but then I decided to take a break,

and check out some stuff on Youtube on there.

while being on the Xbox, so I do plan to watch episode 4 of Helluva Boss after I post this. 

I mean has no one really question how freaking wrong that is?

are we are suppose to be okay with those men, that was send by a king,

to hurt so many lives that had hardly began to live.

when I was in the living room, I couldn’t help but think about it....

and becoming really mad at the angels who did nothing to save those babies.

I had to try to keep myself calm, try to calm my anger.

I was even thinking about hoping Mother, spanks them for it.

and by Mother, I mean Heavenly Mother, who I still view as being the Earthly Mother as well.

and if it is true that my energy wings do go in flame mode

when I get really mad or upset in anyway,

I wouldn’t be surprise if it did end up like that moments ago...

I will use my pendulum to ask Azrael later if that did happen again.     

I want to try to go a full day without using my pendulum.

plus there is still the whole having to make sure to throw some salt on my pendulum...but I will do that later tonight.

I just want to try my best not to think about it,

or how messed up Grandpa King Solomon is too,

if one of those women didn’t speak up,

he might of gone through with that sick act.

anyone, no matter if they are a mortal man or a angel,

if they let ANY baby or child come to harm,

they deserve a timeout in a dungeon.

another thing I hope to do,

if the whole “Small Lilith” proves true and isn’t a prank or some negative energy hacking my pendulum.

I want to try to get it changed, I mean I could at least try to pray to both the Divine Heavenly Father & Heavenly/Earthly Mother,

about it and try to hope that I can have a Soul Name change.

I guess it is possible why I never had that pop into my head before,

and the reason why I believed that I didn’t have a Soul Name at first,

was because the one soul name I was given...

was a name I wasn’t ready to know.

(but I can only hope it is a prank and isn’t true.)

even if I might be peeved at the angels that did nothing,

to protect those children back many centuries ago, when Jesus was a child.

I know not all of them were to blame, even the ones who weren’t even born yet.

I just need to try my best to let them get to me, like try to calm myself.

I still plan to show the link again, that has to do with how Youtube is well,

it’s still good, but at the same time, it is not, because it ends up hurting other Youtubers, and even let a false report happen,

and even end up having the original video be taken down.

I still believe there should be a different place to put up videos and amv type videos, that isn’t Youtube, where they wont let those under 15 in,

and parents should take more responsibility, and not place the blame on mature content.

the use of the child lock can make everyone happy,

and at least other sites make sure to have it impossible for mature content to be seen by those who are not sign in, even if they are, if they are not the proper, they can’t see it.

it might of been a good thing I had admitted that I was exposed to stuff too early, I mean I was told that I repeated a bad word from something on tv.

which once more, was “son of a witch” but the word wasn’t witch.

and I was just a baby, maybe around toddler age when I did that.

parents shouldn’t place the full blame on whats on tv,

or on the shows or movies that are NOT FOR LITTLE KIDS.

they need to make sure to take more responsibility,

and not end up hurting others who enjoy watching the mature series or reading about it.

so long it isn’t....certain abomination, that I dare not speak of.

if this tumblr, had a type of censor, I could say what it is and not everyone has to see it.

there is other things I don’t want to admit that happen during my childhood.

and well maybe I will, someday.

some stuff that was going on in my childhood, I believe was because of the energies I was picking up.

if I hadn’t decided to get the bracelets I have now,

the energies around me, would most likely keep me from fully figuring out

that I’m Aroaceflux.

 I also want to say, that I don’t want anyone to say that my feelings are blasphemy....but I believe that those children could of been saved as well.

the problem is that nothing was done to save them too.

and King Solomon isn’t any better, if one of those women made one mistake,

the worse could of happen.

why did Grandma Naamah The Amonite, fall for such a butt...?

 well him being a butt or not, at least there is one good thing

about being a “daughter of Solomon” is that I can never get that throne,

and because I’m biologically female too.

well when I say “daughter” and of Solomon,

I mean like well being a descendant, and being one of his Granddaughters,

well with a lot of “Greats” in there, and well I’m gonna try to not think too much of knowing now, how messed up that whole test King Solomon did,

or how messed up that no Angel even tried to stop those dishonorable men.

it be nice if I can talk to my family about these feelings.

that I can’t help but feel mad, about how things went,

I mean why couldn’t both Jesus and the rest of those children be saved?

I want to try my best to keep my mind off of it.

it be nice if it turned out the story about those two women and Solomon,

as well as what happen to those children, were all made up.

but we know that we can’t change those moments in the past,

even if we want to. and humankind should NOT time travel.

doing that in movies or shows or video games or comics,

that’s fine....

but the real time traveling, it sucks.

if it isn’t getting some things back that a was lost in March,

and it only ends up fully messing up the timeline,

and possibly causing something really REALLY bad to happen,

and the one who messed that up, having to go back in time again,

to make sure they did cause the alternating of the past in the first place,

then what good is real life time traveling...?

but anyway, I want to try not to think about well some stuff that happen a long time ago.

plus I want to try not to think too much about stuff that really peeve me off.

I want to try to take my mind off it, by just watching shows, movies,

playing a video game and even do some reading.

I will sign in later to check out some more stuff on here.

as well as try to show a link that has to do with very true facts about Youtube.

even if I can still like the good sides of Youtube,

it still has a bad side, and it needs to stop.

too many Youtubers get hurt, and some get away with stuff that they do without the permission of other Youtubers.

and even those who do get permission from other Youtubes,

like Subing their amv that has to do with a video game or other,

some jerk wont even bother to READ the description or the original link.

and will end up reporting a false report on the original.

not all videos will be for kids, some will be for mature audiences only.

it isn’t right how things are blame on the content,

instead of the parents and guardians,

who should try to put the child lock on the browsing.

there should be one, and if there isn’t then there should be a app to be made,

that makes it not possible for a child to see the mature stuff that is online,

like the child lock will make it so that it can’t be seen at all.

at least other sites, are able to keep the really mature stuff hidden,

by the use of check boxes, where you can say what type of mature it is,

if you don’t have a account for it, then you wont see it,

but if you do have one, but aren’t the proper age, you still wont be able to see it until you become the proper age, which the site can tell.

I hope that there can be a place where the kind of stuff that happens on Youtube, doesn’t happen.

  it be nice if more people made more channels on Rooster Teeth’s official site.

I’m not even sure how that works, even Rooster Teeth have their own Channel on there, it is their site after all.

I wonder if it’s weird I have a small crush on Angel Dust’s Older brother

from Hazbin Hotel, well he hasn’t really appeared in it yet,

I think the crush might be thanks to the Arackniss series.

I am gonna try to catch up to all the episodes, I think it might be best that I start from the first, then work my way up.

I will do that later.

I mean “Ficto” is part of my Aroaceflux, I cant choose not to add it at times.

a crush comes from the heart, even deep in love feelings,

comes from the heart and soul, plus not all romance has to be all romantic or kissy face all the time.

some romantic moments can just be when you just enjoy each other’s company, maybe listening to music or watching a movie together.

 I think I might still have a crush on Garrus from Mass Effect too.

it be nice if they update the hole romance thing,

make it so that you can romance Mordin Solus,

but it will be a bit different than the others.

I mean like a kiss on the forehead and just having your Shepard Avatar

rest their head on his shoulder, while just siting on the bed.

nothing else happens, but a bond of romance still forms when Shepard and Mordin admit their feelings for each other.

and in Mass Effect 3, if you had romanced Mordin in Mass Effect 2,

and never ended up seeing anyone else aka two-time him,

then the romance between you will still be there.

I’m not sure if it is true that Tali and Ashley can be romanced by the Female Shepard now, I mean in the legendary version.

but I guess I can wait and see.

I kind of want to try not to romance anyone in the Mass Effect 1 of the Legendary.

even if I and other fans might want Mordin to be added to the romance choices.

it doesn’t mean it will happen.

I mean yes when you do end up in a romance with one of the characters,

you end up doing “grown-up” stuff.

but a romance with Mordin, doesn’t have to end up like that on the first romance. maybe in Mass Effect 3, but Mordin should still become part of the romance choices.

so yeah I want a Ace-Romance with Mordin, where both him and Shepard,

admit their feelings for each other, and end up together in Mass Effect 2 and stay a couple and rekindle that love in Mass Effect 3.

and if you did romance Mordin, if he is about to give up his life,

he gives you one more kiss on the lips good bye, before going to do what needs to be done.

though it be nice if it was possible to cure the krogan and keep Mordin alive.

I hope someday, they will add that, I don’t like Mordin ending up dying

or if you do save him, you just end up not curing the krogan.

there should be a third option, like Mordin letting a small robot he made to go and make sure the cure is successful. 

some fans might not agree, but even if certain scenes happens after you end up with one of the characters, there should still be a different version of romance, where nothing happens on the first romance before going to save the galaxy from the reapers or those that follow them.

and yes even if some people think that those who are Ace don’t do that

whole “snu-snu” thing, but that is not correct.

so long as it’s with someone you truly love and see as your other half,

and they understand that there will be times when you don’t want

to do the whole snu-snu, then the relationship should be fine.

I mean there is other info about it, and yeah I know I am using the word snu-snu as a type of censor for the real word.

I’m a flux type, and well when I did watch the Deadpool Movie,

like the other day ago, and I didn’t feel anything when the snu-snu happen,

I was mostly ignoring it, or like looking away mostly.

those who are flux, like myself,

our Ace can be dominant for long periods of time.

even if some people might say it doesn’t, but it is true.

there isn’t one type of Ace, and like I had explained before,

some will be Heteroromantic-Ace, Biromantic-Ace, Panromantic-Ace and the other types as well that I know I had mention before.

those who are Aroaceflux, might be Bi-Aroaceflux, or Hetero-Aroaceflux

or Pan-Aroaceflux.

no one, should assume their is just one type of Ace.

I mean there is Aceflux too, so all the other type of Aces are still possible.

and I believe there are people out there that fit them.

anyway I think I do feel much better after talking about Mass Effect,

and how I think Mordin should be added to the romance choices.

I’m gonna try to keep my mind off of.

I’m gonna go watch episode 4 of Helluva Boss now,

I think I will head to bed after that.

I wanted to watch some movies and even Red Vs Blue.

but I think I will wait until later to do that.

so I’m just going to go, and try to relax for the rest of the day,

and try not to think about the disgusting stuff that happen before and Angels didn’t try to stop it, yeah some will just say it is blasphemy.

but to me it isn’t, because I know it wasn’t right, but you can’t change that part of the past, you will only cause more trouble.

I hope Collin from that episode 4, gets a plushie,

he is adorable and if I had to OTP Crossover ship him with anyone,

I think I would ship him with Arackniss, well unless I find someone who would look cuter with Collin, like Niffty.

if there was a amv of Collin x Niffty,

the song used should be crazy chicks, I love that song.

well that song would fit both Niffty and Velvet.

I’m just gonna go now, and try to relax and try not to think about the stuff that got me really mad when thinking about it.

 I will sign on here again later, to check out some stuff,

and to re-show the link that points out some of the stuff that is wrong with Youtube, and even if I do still like Youtube.

it is still broken and ends up hurting others. 

I think I want to draw a Arackniss x Collin ship drawing later,

and Collin might be shorter than Arackniss,

so picture Arackniss holding Collin bridle style, while holding a gun or guns out with two of his four arms.

that ship would be not canon, but that’s fine.

if I’m not able to draw it today, I will try to draw it whenever.

I mean there is a drawing I been meaning to do that has to do with Zim,

but I haven’t got around to it yet.

okay I’m just gonna shut up now, and just sign off and go watch episode 4 now.

see ya later and stay safe everyone.  

[littleartistthoughts]

Romeo x Juliet

Sooo. Sometime during my middle school years, I was on the AMV side of YouTube. I stumbled across an AMV of the anime, Romeo x Juliet, to the background song: “Romeo and Juliet.” Out of curiosity, I searched up the anime, and I found it on YouTube. I think I watched the final scenes of the last episode first, without any context. I guess I was interested enough to start from the beginning. 

And I became obsessed. By obsessed, I mean, seriously, seriously, obsessed. I fell in love with everything -- the main characters, the music, the world. The romance was touching, the story was impacting, and it was just perfect. I cried sooo hard. It became one of those things that touched me so much to the point I thought about it for weeks and weeks. I searched up AMV’s and fanart and scoured the Wikipedia page over and over, so eager to have more. 

I even tried to burn the entire series on DVD because I wanted to watch it whenever I wanted (so I had to learn how to burn a DVD, though I don’t think I ever actually succeeded). Eventually, though, by some luck, I found the DVD at Best Buy, and my dad bought it for me. 

I shared it with my friends. I sent them all home to watch it, and I felt overjoyed when they came back to school the next day saying they binged it and cried and loved it. We became something of a fan club. Lol. 

Then time went on and I thought of it less and less, though I was always fond of the memory of watching it. I remembered it as a sad, beautiful anime that I loved so much. Actually, it impacted me so much that I’m borrowing some elements of the story for my own works. To this day, I reference the show when I’m wondering about the design of my own fantasy universes. 

These days, I’m slowly molding my Sol Verynda universe. I’ve been doing that for about four years now. I keep changing things or developing them further. Sometimes, I run out of inspiration. I’m still dragging details out of the world where I can find them. Sometimes you just need a giant push. 

I don’t remember the reason, but sometime during this past week or the last, Romeo x Juliet popped into my mind. I think I was just reminiscing the story. And then I decided to just watch it. You know. For the heck of it. 

So for the first time in a very, very long time, I watched the series. 

I’m a lot older now and more mature than I was in middle school, which means there’s a lot more that I can understand now. That means I’m also a lot more cynical now. And critical. And the devil’s always on my shoulder. Plus this raging depression that just won’t go away is in my mind. So I re-watched the anime through a different lens. 

Still me, but a different version. 

I watched the series over the course of a few days (busy with school and work). I decided to watch it in Dub because that’s the original way I watched it, and I wanted to recapture that feeling I got when I watched before. Even though my sister gave me such a hard time about it. Like, seriously. She came into my room and slapped my phone out of my hands because she was so disgusted. I retaliated. 

I like the Dub also because the script is so lovely in English. They incorporate some Shakespearian speak (I learned later that it’s really called iambic pentameter). So the characters sometimes speak like it’s the 14th or something century, and it’s pleasant to hear. I also just really like hearing them speak poetically in an American accent. 

Buuuut, I caved out of curiosity. I searched the Subbed version on YouTube and watched a few minutes of the first episode, just to see the difference. And, well. I get it. The show was made specifically for Japanese, and so that version is actually very fitting. Buuut, I still continued on with the dub. I’m thinking now, though, that I’m going to rewatch the show in the Subbed version sometime soon. It’ll be like seeing the story again, but with a different feel. So, yeah. 

Anywayyyy, so the story. The show takes liberties with the adaptation. I’ve never read the original play, but we all know how it goes. And I think I watched Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio, so I had an idea. In the original, Romeo belongs to the Montague family and Juliet belongs to the Capulets. Their families hate each other, but they fall in love anyway. After a string of events, Romeo and Juliet die together, and the family conflict is resolved by this tragedy. 

In the anime, Romeo’s father, Leontes Montague, murders every member of the Capulet family so he can take over the city, Neo Verona, as ruler. Only Juliet, who was rescued by her family’s loyalists, escapes. She’s two years old. Fourteen years later, Montague is the tyrannical king of the city, and Juliet is forced into hiding. She disguises herself as a boy, named Odin, though she was never told the reason why she had to do so. 

Montague is on the hunt to find her. In his tyranny, he allows his guards to torment the citizens. And so Juliet, disguised as a man, takes on the persona of the Red Whirlwind to defend the people. 

Eventually, Juliet winds up at the palace, dressed as a girl, for the Rose Ball. And she and Romeo meet. And it’s a love at first sight moment. 

Later, Juliet finally learns of her heritage, and her world becomes chaotic. 

One thing I didn’t realize when I was younger was just how much of a sweetheart Romeo is. He lived a rough life in the palace. His father was emotionally and physically abusive. His mother left him to join a convent (though she deeply regretted leaving him). He was alone at the palace except for his best friend, Benvolio, and his Dragon Steed (basically, flying pegasus), Cielo. Despite that, he had a big heart. He was nothing like his father. He genuinely was a good person. 

And Juliet just deserved so much better. The girl could never catch a break. She and Romeo had similar temperaments. She was really sweet and considerate with a good, forgiving heart. But she was also this badass swordsman secret vigilante who was a fearless leader and fought for justice. We see her character develop over the course of the series. She slowly matures after all her mistakes. And in the end she’s the one to save the world. 

The love shared between these two is really the driving force of the story. It’s the reason the two fought so hard to create a world of love instead of hatred. Instead of revenge, Juliet’s focus was on freedom and happiness. Without Romeo, she might have actually killed Montague and gone with the route of hatred. 

The series did get a little cheesy and naive sometimes, I felt while watching. That’s the cynical adult in me. However, the show doesn’t hesitate to admit that. For example, when Romeo’s trying to motivate a group of exiles to cultivate a dead land, his words do seem childish and idealistic. And several inmates point that out. But they do eventually try. 

I don’t know. To me, it’s a reminder that the idealism of children is so powerful. Adults don’t have that same spirit. A lot of us are always worried about the bad outcomes of things. We’re always tired. We’re so used to seeing bad things that we become cynical. But kids aren’t so used to it yet, so they still have these grand hopes. 

It can be a disadvantage, of course, such as when Juliet jumped into an opportunity out of her naivety, just to see her loyalists fall. 

But, still. We get characters like William (a caricature of Shakespeare himself), who is so childish and idealistic and perpetually inspired. 

When I was in middle school, I hadn’t yet experienced a real relationship. So it was fun to imagine what it would be like. Watching Romeo and Juliet’s relationship blossom gave me such a warm, fluttery feeling. You know. I wanted a romance like that. 

Re-watching it, post-heartbreak from my FL and other “romantic” endeavors, I view love a lot differently now. Honestly, I haven’t felt fondly about it for a long time. I’ve come to a point where I almost detest it. I detest boys and the hurt they can cause me. It’s hard to imagine myself in a good, loving, idealistic relationship again after all the guys I’ve encountered. 

Well. My heart is still too broken for a new love, but I still felt my heartstrings pulled by the anime. Maybe it’s too soon to tell, but I think my opinion has shifted a bit. I forgot, really, how amazing romantic love can be. How consuming. Even when I’m not a part of it, just seeing it unfold is so precious. It makes me feel all warm and happy inside. And inspired to write. 

Anyway. 

One other thing that I’m really noticing now that I just didn’t before is the symbolism. That scene where Romeo asked Juliet (without knowing she was present) what flower she would prefer for a garden, she answered with a “rose.” I remember feeling confused. The entire series, the white iris was the symbol of their relationship. But why would she answer a rose?

Well. The iris is on the Capulet family crest, and the rose is on the Montague family crest. Juliet was saying she wanted him. 

Also, Leontes Montague entered the family by becoming a ward, and then poisoning his way to the top. Also, his father is a Capulet, meaning Romeo and Juliet are distant cousins. Oof. 

Also, I know more about art and architecture now thanks to Art History courses. So seeing all the reliefs and structures in the series was astounding. Seriously. Astounding. There’s this constant image of a goddess with angel’s wings in prayer. It appears in statues, reliefs, statuettes, paintings, etc. There was a goddess statue at the fountain where Romeo and Juliet first met. 

In the end, we learned this goddess is a symbol of Escalus, the grand tree that serves as a life force to the continent. 

If anything, I really really really wish there was a prequel or something that went into the history of the Capulet family and the tree of Escalus. There were so many unanswered questions. Like, why was Neo Verona floating over the sky the whole time? How? Why did Escalus keep it afloat? Why did the Capulet family have to be the one to make sacrifices? Why the girls? Who was Ophelia, really? What’s the history? When they fell from the sky, did they just rejoin the larger world? They mention Christian and Greek mythos, so how do they know about it? They say Escalus is the patron goddess of Neo Verona, so are there others? 

Sadly, we might never find out. But it’s all still very interesting. 

Neo Verona is a living, breathing world. It’s a fantasy world that we fall in love with. 

All the side characters make us care for saving the world, and Juliet mentions this, too. She decides her sacrifice would be worth it if it meant her loved ones would get to live. And we agree, too, because we come to love all the minor characters. Every single one. Even though we don’t want her to die. 

Watching it this time around, I also started to understand Montague, and admire him as a villain. He’s layered. He’s vicious. He’s ruthless. He’s a little insane. He was never loved (he says this in his final moments). His mother died when he was young. He told Romeo he deeply cared for him, which I kind of believe. In a twisted way, I believe he did love him. I believe he also loved Romeo’s mother, Portia. When he visited her, he started by saying she could have lived in luxury with him if she didn’t leave. 

Montague also seemed to genuinely care for Escalus. For some reason. Maybe he didn’t want to the world to end with him in it. He seemed to be searching for a genuine solution to the problem. 

Anytime Montague was on screen, he was riveting. Truly terrifying. Charming with some, like Hermoine and other lady nobility. But murderous. And a swordsman. Underneath it all, all his heinous acts, he just wanted love. In the end, he died in Juliet’s arms. 

The mythos of the world was incredible as well. I’m a sucker for fantasy, and the show really runs with all my favorite things. Prophecy. Ancient things. Sacrifice. Enhanced nature. 

I haven’t watched anime in a long time. Honestly, I sort of shunned it from my mind when “Asian things” became more and more shameful. Well, that thinking is shameful. Because anime is truly beautiful. It captures humans in a different way. Anime knows how to do romance. It knows how to build tension and longing, it knows how to invest the audience. Every anime I ever watched has hooked me to the romance (something American TV can’t ever do with me). 

I just love the tone of anime. The wittiness, the playful scenes, the heavy moods, the characters and their attitudes. It’s all entirely distinct. I don’t know why, but it really gets you wanting. Plus the expressiveness of 2D animation that can do absolute wonders. 

I’m a really big fan of Game of Thrones, don’t get me wrong, and maybe the show just butchered the story, but for a while I just wanted to make a story similar in spirit to Thrones. You know. The realism. The darkness. The unfairness. 

But I forgot that you can make your own worlds with fiction. And your own rules. Life is life. It’ll always be unfair and tragically beautiful, and there are lovely stories to capture that. But then there are those stories that are an abstraction of reality, like Romeo x Juliet. Not totally realistic, but spellbinding. You’re thrown into this world, and you just want to be a part of it. For a while, you can escape the real world and join this one. 

It gets one inspired about living in a different world. 

So while realism is great, fiction and world-building are just so much more fun. And impactful. And creative. And magical. And fan-service isn’t a bad thing. 

I cried during the final episode, once right after Romeo died, and again during the Epilogue. Everyone who lived got a happy ending, and I was so sad and happy seeing them all enjoying life. After all the darkness that they went through, they all ended up living in the bright, joyous world that Romeo and Juliet dreamed of. 

That’s fucking inspiring. To the max. A little cheesy, but in a way that feels so earned and so right. 

So anyway, I’m glad I decided to rewatch it. I was in my early teens when I last watched it, and now I’m 21. Oh, and the decade is ending. Seems fitting. Maybe it’ll help me set the tone for the next decade, which I hope will be one of creativity. And maybe some romance. Maybe. Maybe it’ll have that attitude. 

It’s still one of my favorite stories of all time, and I’m definitely going to rewatch it again in the future. Next time will probably be soon. I have to spend some time recovering from the emotional roller coaster that I went through. Maybe next month. I’ll watch it in Sub, the way it was meant to be, I guess. And I’ll see the difference. And I’ll probably write another post about how I felt about it. 

Until the next time. 

[some-cookie-crumbz]

In Person Livestream

In Person Livestream Fandom: AoT/SnK Pairing: YumiKuri Summary: Modern AU in which Ymir is a member of a Games Grumps-esque channel invited to a con as a guest. She has little knowledge about the other guests but still ends up taking interest in one after a chance meeting. AN: Part of my Spooky Snippets story dump. For more details please see this post.

She still isn’t sure how Connie and Sasha coaxed her in to this. A part of her wants to say that it’s most likely because she needed a weekend out of town. After all, they’re about two hundred miles out and they aren’t having to spending a dime for it! That’s mostly thanks to Jean and Marco, though, but that’s another aspect of it.

Internet fame was never something that Ymir was ever actively seeking – given she had better things to do with her time – but it had fallen in to her lap by complete accident. Marco and Jean had started a shared account together on some video site where they basically just played video games, got angry and talked about their days; or, more correctly, Jean would flip his shit while Marco proceeded to instigate more freak-outs from him, document it all and then post the shit-show for all to enjoy. Originally it was just the two of them playing, but as their popularity grew, fans started asking about the frequent friends mentioned in their stories; specifically, Connie, Sasha and Ymir herself being the most common culprits. As such, they created an additional segment where they would have a combination of any of the five of them – usually no more than three but there had been a handful of times where four of them were available – would get together to play video games and just play off of one another.

Ymir still wasn’t one hundred percent sure on where her popularity came from, especially when compared to her friends. Sasha was ditzy and easily excitable, making her more prone to bouts of innocent and genuine confusion when she made mistakes on the games. She was also kinda gullible, making her easy to troll with false information, and the comedy with that simply wrote itself. Connie was smart but he also tended to be a bit of an arrogant dick. He was typically the guilty one when it came to trolling Sasha and he would laugh all the while. Jean was similar to Connie, what with being a know-it-all and a braggart, but he had the added perk of a short fuse. It took a lot to get Connie genuinely angry – the worst he’d gotten being some serious frustration – but Jean would lost his damn his mind once he got started. It was mostly the authenticity of his rage paired with the completely stupid shit he’d spew in his fits. Marco, meanwhile, was likeable because of how he presented himself. He was naturally charismatic but he played it up for the show – being even more of a saint than usual – but underneath it all he was actually a total sadist. He played well with Jean because he knew just the littlest, most innocuous ways to take Jean’s rage from a fireplace to a wildfire spanning an entire nature conservation. Ymir, however, was just the one that typically stayed lax and just made shitty, 13 year old level sex jokes.

Regardless of her being relatively baffled by the situation, she figured it was nice to have people enjoy her immature snark.

It was this reason that she was here, out of her element, at some anime convention with Sasha and Connie. The invitation had been extended to their whole crew but Marco and Jean were already going to be out of town for their three-year anniversary. All-expenses paid in exchange for them attending the convention, doing some autograph sessions, and doing a couple Q&A sessions with their friends? Now that was a perk Ymir could get behind.

Or, rather, that was what she’d thought until she saw some guy who looked like he should be in a retirement home walk in to the hotel in a school girl uniform.

“So,” She trails, leaning against the side of Connie’s car as he pops the trunk, “what exactly have I signed up for here?”

He looks at her with a quirked eyebrow before following her gaze and snorting. “Oh, don’t worry; that’s another one of the guests, actually,” He says before reaching in and pulling one of the bags out and setting it down.

Her scowls deepens at that. “Uh, what?”

“He’s another one of the guests. I can’t remember his name right now but he does cross play videos,” He says with a casual shrug.

Sasha suddenly appears around the corner of the car with a bright grin. “That’s Sty-Dis! He’s super cool!” Sasha gushes excitedly, before hearing her name. She turns around and squeals before darting off toward a woman with black hair in a red scarf, waving and cheering.

“Right… And how many other guests like him are going to be here?” Ymir asks Connie suspiciously, grabbing the handle of her suitcase.

“Just him. They try to have a variety of guests from the big, popular types of videos. There’s Sty-Dis, Ask Ackerman, Leonhardt Roars, Titanic Sound Waves, and some other cool people too. Sasha and me have gotten to know a lot of them personally so it’s always a blast getting to hand out with them,” He comments with a grin, turning to watch Sasha and the other girl as he closes the trunk.

Ymir hums before turning and pointing to the hotel. “Well, anyway, I’m gonna head in and get my key for the room if you don’t need me out here,”

“Sure thing. We should be up in a bit!” He calls after her before taking he and Sasha’s luggage and heading to join her.

Ymir heads inside and nearly runs back out at the small cluster of people gathered around. They all have badges on them labeled “Volunteer” and “Guest” respectively – more of them being “Volunteers”, she notes – and they all seem so friendly with one another. She feels a bit uneasy as she approaches the front desk, explaining her situation to the clerk. The girl smiles at her warmly and hands her a key card in a little slip, the room number on the front, then informs her to head directly through the crowd to get her Guest pass.

Her trek through the crowd is mercifully brief, but she swears she’s going to need some therapy after this; the old guy’s skirt rides up as she passes to reveal lacy pink panties.

There are two volunteers settled at the desk, with another of the guests standing and chatting with them. The female volunteer is the one that spots Ymir and waves her over. “Hi-ya! How are you doing?” She asks happily.

“Hi. And fine, thanks,” Ymir answers, looking back over her shoulder when she hears someone shouting about losing a game or something. Almost everyone else in the crowd howls in agony at the response and she’s left completely baffled.

The volunteer giggles at her bemusement. “Pretty energetic, huh?”

“That’s certainly one word for it. Haven’t had to deal with this much energy and potent body odor since my 8th grade promotion,” She quips dryly. The other guest suddenly gasps, causing Ymir to look over at her sideways. “What? Not like that one?”

“You’re Ymir, aren’t you?” She asks.

“How do you know that?” She realizes the minute the question leaves her mouth that it is probably a dumb one. While Ymir herself isn’t big on watching other people’s videos – Hell, she doesn’t even really watch the videos she participates in – she knows for a fact from her friends that a lot of them watch each other. It wouldn’t be too surprising for someone to recognize her from the videos; or, she realizes, it would make sense if it wasn’t for the fact she’s never shown her face in any of the videos.

The girl giggles – a cute giggle that seems to fit a tiny blonde thing like her – and rubs at the back of her head shyly. “Ah, sorry. That’s the perfect pitch talking for me!”

“Perfect pitch? Is that, like, your stage handle or something?” Ymir asks, completely lost.

“Oh, no,” Blondie answers with another giggle, “perfect pitch is a musical term. It means that my ears are naturally turned so that I can pick up on when a note is being played in the exact right octave or not. It also means I can pick up on people’s voices pretty well too.”

“Oh, that’s kinda cool,”

“Hm. It has its uses,” She agrees. The volunteer offers Ymir her own guest badge – decked out with a nifty little picture of two robots fighting – and Ymir let’s Blondie lead her away from the booth. “I’m admittedly surprised to see you here. Jean makes it sound like you don’t really have any interest in this sort of stuff.”

“Oh, I don’t really. I do the show because they asked me to and I’m here because it sounded like a good excuse to get out of town for the weekend,” Ymir says with a shrug, letting Blondie lead her around. She should head up and get her luggage put away at least, but then again she’s kind of enjoying talking to the bubbly blonde.

Blondie being cute just happens to be a nice perk of it all.

“Well, you certainly picked a good time to attend a convention; this is one of the bigger cons, so there’s going to be plenty of con-goers to meet and greet,” She beams.

“So long as they don’t invade my space too much, I should be fine,” She says with a small shrug. She sees the elevators up ahead and realizes that Blondie seemed to have had the same thought that she did. “What exactly goes on at one of these, anyway? I mean, I know Sasha mentioned we’d be doing a Q and A session and an autograph session, but what else is there to these things?”

“Well, there are plenty of other panels that go on, too,” Blondie says, hitting the up button as they reach the elevator. She lets Ymir slip in with her luggage first before joining her inside. “A lot of the other guests are doing panels too, but other than them, there are other fun panels too. There’s cosplay gatherings for photo shoots with other people wearing cosplays from the same series as you, dance training where you learn to do some of the little dances from different anime, and the AMV contest is always pretty cool to see. There’s also hentai screenings, bad fan-fiction readings, jeopardy-style games where they pick other con-guests as the contestants, and there’s always the vendor hall to peruse if you just want to buy some cool stuff. The Artist Alley is great too; lots of really talented artists with great quality prints and additional little things!”

Ymir hums in response, hitting the button for the fifteenth floor. Blondie reaches over and hits the sixteen, shrugging and saying, “I need to go make sure my roommates are done getting settled. We have the opening dinner to attend and I don’t want us to be late.”

“Oh, I didn’t know about that. Do we have to make small talk about things no one really cares about?” Ymir asks with a small scowl.

Blondie giggles a bit. “No, it’s mostly just going over the rules and regulations, as well as finalizing the schedule for the panels with everyone. Typically pretty short, sweet, to the point, and done over some pretty good food,” She hums. They fall in to casual chatter for the remained of the brief ride up to Ymir’s floor, the brunette howling in laughter as Blondie retell some funny stories from a past convention that involved Jean, a chicken and cheese quesadilla and a con guest dressed up as Naruto Uzamaki. As Ymir gets off, Blondie waves and comments that she’ll keep an eye out for Ymir at the dinner that evening.

Ymir waves back, watching the door close before it dawns on her that she never asked the other her name. Sure, it wasn’t like she was never going to see her again, but she still would have liked to know her name and her account. Maybe do a little researching, see if pursuing this girl would be worth it or not. Her phone buzzes in her pocket suddenly, a text from Connie lighting up her phone.  A slow smile turns up on her lips. She had almost forgotten she was travelling with two of her dedicated cohorts, whom seemed to know a lot of the other guests here.

She texts him back, already looking forward to asking them if they recognize Blondie and, if they do, picking their brains.