#I swear I know how to use a computer and do coding and stuff

[dkettchen]

not me going to digital tech sector job events and every company rep being like "you can scan our QR code to learn more" and me going "my phone can't do that" and taking a picture of their name instead to google them later like the tech-averse old man that I am

[kujainvidiata]

„Risotto Nero Observes“ - English Translation

(and my long thought session about it)

Thanks to a kind person, I finally have a link to an English Translation of the recently released short novel about Risotto Nero, called „Risotto Nero Observes“, written by Ayato Toya and translated by Hudgyn Sasdarl. It was published in the official JOJO SUMMER Magazine 2025 along with other short novels, also some festuring La Squadra members. But this one here is focusing on Risotto Nero and it is honestly a fantastic read. I would appreciate if you also share it around, so more people learn about more about Risotto Nero, since he is a beloved character of the JJBA fandom.

⚠️TW for: Canon typical violence (also involving children), murder and the whole mafia stuff you should be familiar with.

Below the cut, I will talk about my own thoughts about the short novel of my favorite character in fiction. It is just yapping in the end I needed to write down, but I also tried to analyze some stuff. I am not a native English speaker, so I am sorry for my mistakes in language. I did also not proof read it, so I am sorry for missing words or typos.

I am also adding some art I made of him because why not ✂️

First of all. Hi, my name is Kuja. I am a dedicated Risotto Nero centric artist and also a yumejoshi of him. Maybe you saw my art before if you like this character. If you do, maybe you also know how much this character means to me since he basically changed my life and brought me back into art and is the reason I found a wonderful community. Which is the reason I want to take my time and talk about this novel in my own interpretations and observations.

In short, this novel is exactly what I wanted to read about regarding to Risotto Nero.

It features no romance, introduces all of the members of La Squadra Esecuzioni and their steuggles, new characters and mostly is focusing on Risotto and his thought process, aka. his „observations“ which will be a reoccuring theme in this novel, which makes it a joy to read.

The short novel is timeline wise in the time around Christmas playing shortly after the murder of Gelato and Sorbet, which will also be a central theme.

Chapter 0:

A short scene where we witness Risotto Nero committing another successful assassination. As imagined, he is mostly using the camouflage abilities of Metallica to hunt down his targets. The kind of k1llingd he does keep being brutal and bloody, as we know later on also often to send an example and message from the highest of Passione.

It is interesting how peaceful the scene was written with the festive christmas music in the background which slowly fades into horror as the corpse is getting discovered by the passengers on that festive day.

Highlight of this chapter is for sure the absolutely high contrast of Risotto's deeds. On the one hand taking a life in a cold way, as expected from the leader of a hitman team. On the other we are experiencing a softer side on him, which many fans often speculated about. The target of Risotto's mission was just kicking a young pickpocketing girl away, making her almost fall to the ground and hurting her while Risotto, still invisible, catching her hand. Her only seeing iron powder on her small hands, probably wondering what just happened.

Seriously guys, this scene alone made me as a die hard Risotto Yume tremble in joy since it confirmed a lot of my own interpretations and headcanons about him, like having a soft spot for the younger generation. He did NOT have to help the girl, but he did, without ever getting anything in return since the girl could not even see him.

Risotto then sends a message of the confirmation of the hit to the boss who interestingly immediatly answers. Diavolo, are you camping your phone and computer all day?

Chapter 1:

One of the most interesting chapters for me personally because of the amount we learn about the hitman team again by observing how they interact with each other.

It is early in the morning and the hitman team is interacting not in person, but in a computer group chat, their personalities shining through.

We learn that Risotto Nero is currently residing inside a room which is part of a cheap apartment inside the outskirts of Naples. So is this only a temporary spot? It is written that Risotto brought his computer so it seems like he is only for a brief time living there. Do they have actual homes? Or do the members rather travel between short lived hideout spots from Passione? In the end, it is no luxury how they live. And this story often reminds us about this fact.

The hitman team is discussing about the most recent news recieved from the boss himself, about a new hit of a man called Rossi who plans to flee real soon and that Passione is entering the business of waste disposal. And two of their members should forcefully (a no won’t get accepted) transferred into this new branch: Formaggio and Illuso. Which causes a big uproar in the chat. Not gonna lie, it is very charming how they all are interacting and even throwing jokes in between. You see once again they all seem to have close bonds to each other. The typical duos are interacting, Pesci with his anniki, Illuso and Formaggio and once again Melone and Ghiaccio who really seem to get each other well, how they interact with each other really tells a lot about their dynamic.

Only one is not fully participating and rather „observing“, Risotto Nero, who tries to read in between the messages and how his subordinates are really feeling in this moment.

Also because of the most recent trauma they endured, the brutal loss of Sorbet and Gelato, two members who were tired of being treated like dirt and dismissively by the whole organization. Not respected, awful pay and the high risk of losing their lives on the daily. It is always interesting how sympatheticly La Squadra Esecuzioni is written, sure, they are assassins for the most dangerous Italian mafia but you can still emphazise with them. Many of us probably can relate to these feelings, not being treated and paid properly for the hard work we do and wanting to get their deserved amount. Their coworkers and close friends being sent to another occupation without their consent. Their capabilities not respected. Who wants to be treated like this? Sure, the motives are mostly motivated in an egoistical sense compared to an altruistic like some members of Bruno‘s gang do, which is one of the main differences of these gangs. But this is also why the hitman team feels more close, since they operate and think as a group, they want the best for themselves, the others coming afterwards, contrary to wanting to stop entire branches of their business for a better cause as a whole.

Even the boss is sending them more and more not so subtile threats how they have to submit and be obedient to his will. Like Pesci realizes, the messages are hidden in numbers. „Smorfia napoletana“ as it is called and we learn about which is a very clever stylistic choice of this novel which are basically numbers with meaning. And the boss knows very well what he wants to communicate to his hitman team, that he has the sole power over them.

And then we have Risotto Nero again. Who is, like I mentioned before, rarely participating in the talk and more inside his head and thoughts, trying to form plans, trying to see patterns and things. Now even more than before.

Because he feels guilty. Because he feels responsible for the death of two of his subordinates. He is angry at himself to not catching on clues of their planned rebellion against the organization. For not preventing them. For not hinder their deaths. In the end, he has to grief again. Something Risotto Nero always has trouble to deal and process. Once again there were people close to him taken away from him. By death. Something he now himself is known for. He, as the jet-black executioner of Passione. It is quite ironic.

Risotto really can’t let these thoughts of guilt go, he constantly is tormening himself about his and now decided to be even more keen on his men. To analyze, to think about their next steps, to prevent such a mistake. To observe.

It is not only that Risotto Nero is „surface“ level invested in his men. No, he „couldn't“ lose anyone else. He is responsible, as their leader. But why he can’t lose them?

Is it just because of the team itself? Do endure even more consequences by the boss and being dissolved by being useless? Is it because of the team spirit? Is it because he needs them for being able to work in the first place? Or is it actually because he can’t stomach any more losses? We don’t know anything about the lives of the hitman team outside their job. Do they have friends? Family? Or only each other? It seems they go around quite a lot, and being gangsters is not easy forming honest relationships between them and civilians. And even other teams inside Passione seem to be cautious, even hateful towards them. They don’t seem trustworthy for anyone else outside the team.

Also, this novel also confirms that Risotto truly cares about his subordinates since he is absolutely trying to analyze and insight for their mental states. He knows his team is processing trauma. They are still human. Luckily he knows as well how many of his members can deal with the stress or who of them is capable protecting themselves most efficiently. He thinks a lot, analyzes a lot and tries how to make a change and impact for their benefit and therefore a raise of the group morale. The mention that Risotto is thinking about giving Formaggio missons with a high chance of succeeding, just to improve his mental wellbeing because he alone found the corpse of Gelato…it tells so much about him. Risotto is absolutely observant and does not tolerate his own mistakes and puts on actual effort of being a good leader for his men. He does not want to any bad causality ever happen again between them. And losing them. As their leader, he needs to look out for the hitman team, they only have themselves.

After the team points out how quiet Risotto is the whole time, he tells them to take on this assassination by himself alone. He really is losing himself a lot inside his analytical thoughts.

Chapter 2:

This chapter is more revolving about the setting itself. We get to know the urgent this assassination is, putting pressure onto Risotto who usually keeps a cool head. Risotto will take out this murder of the soon trying to flee Rossi in a very crowded place, directly inside the mansion of this man who is tainted by very crude and unethical businesses himself. To put an example. Don’t mess with Passione. A job suited for Risotto’s brutal Stand capabilities.

The party being thrown in the luxurious mansion was right before Christmas, Rossi is intending to show his new adoptive son, Gennaro, another central character in this story.

This decadent luxury is a nice way to show again the difference of the worlds they live in.

By the way, it is very cute to imagine Risotto Nero inside a proper elegant suit he is wearing for this event. Sorry, needed to let this out.

In the next scene, an elderly couple speaks to Risotto about the over the top interior of the mansion. It made me actually laugh that Risotto was seriously being called „a wallflower“. I seriously can see this, he does not seem like the center of attention of a party. He also doesn't need to, he is supposed to be blending into the scene after all.

Afterwards Rossi appears into the spotlight and talking about the mystery of the „unopenable door“ and also just spewing out some meaningless anecdotes.

Also a rising and uncomfortable heat is described by the pair which is unsually also affecting Risotto Nero himself, which is surprising him. But it the reason is a sense of unease he tries to pinpoint to, until he realizes it is actually Metallica wriggling and moving inside his body and not actual nervousness about the mission itself. They are reaction to something inside this mansion which also is affecting Risotto‘s body. All this while he is planning how to cover the walls in red real soon.

Later on the party, Gennaro, a 14 year old boy is finally introduced to the story and guests, seemingly innocent and youthful, full of enthiusiasm.

Then the party guests were starting a tombola game, an Italian tradition, where we also get to know about the smorfia napoletana again and get introduced to new numbers and their meanings.

While Rossi and Gennaro are playing a farce in front of the crowd, Risotto thinks about the numbers and their meanings, as well as getting further affected by the temperature and discomfort inside his body.

The numbers are really dire and somewhat ironic when we take Risotto‘s backstory into account. 14 and 18, which are ages which his life turned around. 14 meaning „drunk“ and „18“ blood-stained. It is incredibly ironic just how these numbers describe his past, while the 90, before in his apartment room poster, is also appearing on his tombola card as well. His reaction and realizing these numbers was followed by a snort of him.

It really is amazing how much the author of this novel is taking Risotto‘s backstory into account and building onto that or referencing it. He constantly gets reminded of the cruel acts he decided to do many years ago which led him chose a path without any redemption.

Right after this, when the party and speech of Rossi is reaching its climax, Risotto plans to kill him, approaching him to close the Stand distance. It is interesting how he also is pointing on the target. It seems a bit suspicious, but the whole story is constantly describing that the others are not paying any attention towards Risotto Nero anways, he mostly blends in.

Also, Risotto seems to view himself as a „professional“ regarding his job as a hitman, not doing these murders for the fun of it. As long as they are paid and not caused by his own Vendetta. It seems like it is thrilling for him to catch up the ideal chance to carry out the murder for the most dramatic moment for reaching the biggest impact.

But right before Risotto could activate his Stand, the light faded, panic invokes between the guests and he lost track of his target who completely vanished after the lights come back to, the family of Rossi, his wife and Gennaro, worried about his absence and calling the police. But Risotto does not give up yet, further being suspicious of the unopenable door which not even the police who arrived could open.

After many unsuccessful attempts of opening the door and getting a new signal of Rossi outside the mansion, the police leaves again, making the party end.

It is very fascinating to witness Risotto Nero using his brain power to connect the dots and uncovering the secret of this unopenable door, using Metallica again to form objects like forks to the keyhole, which is also fake and therefore detecting a lie of Rossi losing its key. Risotto Nero has such an analytical and smart way to approach matters, trying to stay calm and composed. He knows this mission can't fail, the stakes are high.

Still, he fails to control his feelings once again, as stone faced as he is, a remark even his team mates are using towards him, which is truly sweet in a weird way, how they joke about this with their leader. He got a new message from the boss, who revealed how poorly Illuso and Formaggio will get paid and basically disrespected on the waste disposal branch. Succumbing to his anger, Risotto Nero breaks his phone, not realizing it until he hears the cracking sounds of the broken phone and through his Stand again inside his bloody hand, who seem to express his true thoughts and burning anger, screaming in their usual noises ordinary people can’t hear.

Metallica here in this novel acts very metaphorical as they really seem to be a vessle for his true feelings at times he has trouble expressing at the exterior. Be it the need of a leader of a hitman team, his past trauma or other reasons, but Risotto Nero often seems not in tune about his own feelings until later on. It is heartbreaking in my eyes that the unfair treatment of his men causes such reactions inside him. He does not want such a reality for them, he as a leader can’t allow to fail them again. And he is so sick of getting treated like this by the boss, his resentment growing stronger as well as his own rebellious spirit he tried to bury to protect his team, despite being treated worse every day. It is an endless circle of torment these hitmen need to endure. The boss basically told them to put their lives on the line, it is understable how enraged Risotto gets by that remark.

Risotto‘s appearance also gets briefly mentioned. He seems to have scarred lips, afding to his very rough a gruff apperance. Are these scars because of a neglect of himself of are these results of his past encounters?

But there was an even stronger reason making Metallica roar, the door seems to be connected and controlled with magnetism, also being most likely the reason for his own permanent discomfort on this place, which only faded within the power outage, which he now realized, the dots are connected now inside his head.

Chapter 3

In the end, the police did throw everyone outside before leaving but knowing Risotto and his Stand, He camouflages himself yet again and enters the mansion once more, iron will determonstion to uncover the secret and to carry out his bloody mission.

Inside he not only realizes all the stolen and proudly displayed good from Rossi, but also meets the adoptive son, Gennaro, once again, who detects the presence of Risotto despite not being able to see him. All while Rossi knocks and screams behind the unopenable door.

The mystery as Risotto figured out was an electromagnet inside the door, which is also the cause of his Stand reacting before.

Interestingly this novel confirms another headcanon I had about Risotto since a long time, as he tells Gennaro about the mechanism of the electomagnet which he read inside a book about waste disposal. He really seems like an intellectual and sophisticated person, reason he seems to be naturally curious about a lot of the world and its functions around him.

Gennaro lies about his reason being here, but the knife in his hand reveals his true intention, as Risotto observes, seeing the boy as a hindrance and thinking about peacefully assassinating him as well if he keeps being an obstacle of his urgent mission. Seeing that Risotto thinks about this dark act but not carrying out this murder of a young man, shows his hestitation despite him being a ruthless and experienced hitman. But, he is also seemingly intruiged by him, curious about his motives and the plan of the boy and realizing the benefit of unrevealing the crime of the young man. Also we can see that Risotto very well decides how „brutally“ he will take out a murder of a person.

Risotto lays out his own observations and detective work how the disappearance of Rossi was made possible during the power outage, which was caused by the extreme indoor heating and the lights of the christmas tree.

Quite funny how Risotto also uses his Stand powers to make a metal Tombola piece float in the air, it must have confused the boy to no end, not knowing about the supernatural Stands. He reveals another meaning of the numbers, 77, the devil, which was Gennaro‘s own remark against his new father. The man the young boy planned to kill himself, just like Risotto Nero.

Risotto is seemingly impressed how well crafted Gennaro is in planning his own assassination, but even the boy begins to flinch by the ghostly presence of Risotto, being called a grim reaper, which was also always part of his overall design.

He is curious about the motives of the boy, who wants to reveal the secret in front of Rossi himself, so they release him, with ordering the boy to drop the knife.

Rossi, completely out of breath, storms out of the room behind the door, questioning his son about the reasons of his hostile acts.

Then Gennaro revealed it all, how much Rossi has tormented him all these years after making him witness the torturing and murder of his own mother, just to get adopted by him again, probably making him suffer even more behind the disguise of a noble man, a habit of Rossi‘s twisted games. He even underestimated the boy to remember him after all these years, showing his arrogance and belittlement of others. All while the boy suffered in silcence and played an act, until now the time for his own assassination and revenge has come.

A motive and reason we all know defines Risotto all to well, his whole life. We get a glimpse of a backflash inside Risotto‘s head of the funeral of his cousin, many years ago. His mind turning dark just like his clothes. Full of rage and seeking justice of losing someone caused by another person. A person who will soon endure the same cruel fate, to make up for it again. But at what cost?

Risotto sees himself inside the boy. He was in he same situation many years ago, being 14 as well, his mind and spirit not able to process the loss of a family member. But choosing revenge led Risotto to a path of no redemption, a path of endless crime, just to get disrespected at the daily and putting his own life at risk, just to witness his loved ones getting erased from life again, not being able to counter the perpetrator this time and to submit.

No, this is a scenario Risotto experienced himself, he knows what this path will involve. I am very sure Risotto wants another fate for this boy, despite knowing the cathartic feeling of getting the revenge one seeked out for many years. Would Risotto chose this path himself again when he was reliving time? A scenario we will never know an answer of but here we see him protecting the boy for basically ruining his future life, a life without a real future, filled with crime, surrounded by mostly mean spirited people despite the closest ones.

So he tells the boy leave, threathening him to kill him if he refuses. He will carry out the mission, not only for the job, but also to spare the boy a life full of darkness.

But Gennaro does not accept, he suffered way too much from what Rossi has done, sleepless nights, trauma, feeling helpless, he only wants the release of revenge. The boy shows a strong will of resolve. And Risoto can relate so much, he truly understand what the boy is feeling. He knows these moments, this burning hatred and just bringing justice to end this once and for all. This is affecting Risotto even in such a way, that he lets his guard down, revealing his appearance, making the boy gasp in surprise by his dark and ghostly presence.

The moment of tension and two spitits connecting only got suddenly interrupted by the police forces, not hestitating to shoot on Risotto Nero as a quick act to save Rossi. The leader shortly needed a moment to process what just happened but decided to remove enough iron from the bodies of the officers to make them unconscious - a fairly peaceful decision for a hitman. But is it because he does not want to harm people who are not involved in his job or is it rather to spare the uproar of the corpses of police workers? Maybe a mix, still, it shows quite a new light of Risotto, being surrounded by members of his team who do not spare the lives of people close to their target mission. At least sometimes. Even tho, these hitmen seem all to have their own moral codex they act on.

After all, Risotto Nero is still cruel and cold enough to traumatize the people around his targets with his brutal and merciless killings, like he just wanted to do some hours ago with all the guests and family Rossi. I really enjoy how morally grey Risotto is written which really makes him an appealing and interesting character, and I try to say this as unbiased as possible.

While this short moment of being focused on the police, Rossi takes action and stabs Gennaro with his own knife he dropped earlier, directly into the stomach of the young man.

Now it was finally the time Risotto needed to act, bringing a gruesome end and torturing Rossi with nails made from Metallica‘s powers, making him suffer a long time before he finishes finally his assassination.

It is very symbolic that Risotto basically crucifies Rossi with the way he pierced iron nails through hus hands, it is very symbolic for a multitude of reasons and made me think.

If we think about Christian Religion, the punishment of being cruzified was reserved for the sinners. A way to show dominance and control by the upper hand instances, which is Passione.

It was often used for „low-life“ criminals and slaves back then, basically mocking the luxurious life of Rossi.

The dramatic display of the corpse for everyone to see to give off a warning: do not act like this sinner. It is an open display of Rossi‘s long life of wrongdoings and crime and how he now must suffer the consequences, caused by his sins. Since it is also a tool of enforcing and showing social control, it also fits the method of Passione scaring other gangsters and enemies. They are in control and on the top. They are showing psychological warfare and invoking public fear.

But also, does this act also is an act of mercy to bring salvation to Gennaro? Making Rossi die for his cruel sins to release the darkened spirit of the young man? It is quite interesting to think about this potential interpretation.

Risotto then rushed to Gennaro, picking him up, telling him that Rossi will now suffer for his sins. As Gennaro is seemingly dying in Risotto‘s arms, smiling, he found finally peace of his mind. His last act is showing the tombola card with the number 90 again, and we finally get know its meaning.

Fear.

This is what Gennaro wanted to overcome, feared and suffering by his past, not being able to act, not knowing if the feel of being haunted by Rossi will ever fleet away, now that the boy was adopted by him, probably even abused by new methods of Rossi‘s twisted mind.

Fear is what is haunting Risotto Nero and his team since weeks, enforced by the boss, treating them like dogs, making with the hitman team whatever he feels to, not respecting them, humiliating them. No regard for their talents, always reminding Risotto of his failure as a leader he cannot stop feeling guilty for. He needs to act. He can’t let this continue. But it is fear he also feels, not wanting to lose more of his men. But what is the other path? An endless cycle of ridicule? Risotto has enough. In this moment the brave acts of Gennaro must have inspired him to also put a stop onto all this. He can’t let fear to keep controlling him and his men.

And then, while Risotto is scolding Gennaro in an endearing way, talking to him like as if he was scolding one of his subordinates, like a mentor, he transforms the iron tile inside the boys hand and forms a staple.

Chapter 4

A short time skip. The news were talking about the gruesome murder of Rossi by a gangster and how this gangster also tortured a young boy was saved by a „skilled police officer with a stapler“

…a story wirhout any sense. Only Risotto Nero, Gennaro and the reader know the truth about what happened. Risotto did an heroic act, no one will ever know about, probably not even Gennaro himself, since he was barely left conscious when Risotto stapled his wounds with Metallica.

It is unbelievably tragic but also needed, as Risotto Nero has a reputation to hold. On this day, he took a life but he also saved another. And not only in a physical way, Risotto prevented Gennaro, who returned into a orphanage, to chose the same path as him many years ago. He brought salvation to his tormented and young spirit, finally removing his tantalizer from life. The boy has now again a chance of a normal life, a life, Risotto does not have himself.

Once again, Risotto brought success to Passione, without ever getting properly rewarded, payment as low as ever. Nothing changed. Only Risotto‘s resolve has.

He gathered his men again, this time in person, inside their usual hiding spot we know of. Which seems to be a rare occurance as the hitman team remarks, last time being the day they got these dreadful horrible packages of thin pieces of one of their members.

The waste disposal transfer seems to be on hold, Illuso and Formaggio being spared from changing teams this time, and they begin bantering again. Knowing they are essential to the team and valueing being among them.

This scene also confirms the basically fanon of the fandom that Prosciutto is a smoker - he indeed does.

Suddenly Risotto began to talk, he is resolved. The boss won’t continue to play with them like cheap and disposable puppets. The incident with the determined Gennaro and collecting his strength depsite still being scared, made him realize to act as well. Or else he and his men will keep this vicious cycle of being a team of assassins who despite carrying out the missions with success, still are only good enough to get potentially transferred to deal with garbage. It is a clear message, like the boss always does.

It is finally enough, time to free themselves from the chains.

He swears to overthrow the boss and organization. His will and decision strong as iron. Wanting to claim what has been taken from „HIM“.

This remark seems to be a direct hint on his pride, how much he personally has lost in his life and how sick he is of all this, fighting for a better future, for himself. But also for his team. To avenge the deaths of Sorbet and Gelato, to make their loss not being unresolved.

His subordinates being in silence, making Risotto questioning how they will decide, will they stay loyal to the team or to the organization of Passione? By now, they can only hold themselves only the little clues and whereabouts of the boss, events which unfold in the storyline of Vento Aureo.

Until then, Risotto Nero will continue to observe, to catch every clue to fulfill his revenge and bring dark glory and a better future for his team, them alone, against the remaining world. The stakes are high, him being the leader is responsible for the outcome of this resolve. Unfortunately, we know how this decision will turn out in the end. They were so close but it still was all for nothing, the mostly self motivated team of assassins' fate has already decided and it will lose against the altruistic motives of the gang of Bruno Bucciarati.

Okay, this was long. I don’t know how many of you really did read this. If you did,

Thank you.

As a summary, this short novel is a fantasticly written story about Risotto Nero and his team of hitmen, also shining with hints of fanservice, as confirming many ideas the fans had about them, and letting them all stay in character without ever breaking depsite all the bantery conversations, how close these men are. In the end, they are all they have.

This story really did Risotto Nero justice as a character, not once ever conflicting with the hints we knew about his personality but also expanding on them.

He is ruthless, cold and stone-faced, as we witnessed already in the original source material. But what we learned in this novel about him throws a new light on him, showing also his softer side.

He IS concerned about his teammates, he feels guilty about his failures as a leader, he can absolutely not cope with grief and has trouble managing his outbursts of anger - even targeting against himself and hurting himself. He looks after the wellbeing if his men, concerned about their mental health and respecting their trauma, not ever ridiculing them and their feelings. Risotto Nero is absolutely not emotionless, his inner world and thoughts are rich, which he just isn’t able to express for probably a multitude of reasons. He even shows compassion for strangers. There was no reason to save the girl from falling harshly to the ground, there was no reason to spare Gennaro, he even knows Risotto‘s face and could be therefore a danger in the future.

But he did help them. And the most cruel fact about this is, no one of them or the others, probably not even his men, will know about these acts and truths (only if they will maybe figure it out by themselves by the staples).

He is not a person who wants to be a hero, he knows he isn’t and he will never be, too many lives did he take by now. But, these little deeds to mercy and kindness are probably a secret of him, no one ever needs to know about. He has his own reasons to act, his own way. His own moral code and his own way to act.

This all makes Risotto Nero such a very well written character in my eyes, combining some of the worst human sins but also showing signs of compassion and protectiveness, like preventing others from a path full of pain or wanting to fight for his men, to finally get what they deserve.

I thank the author of this story, Ayato Toya, by a lot. This novel was a joy to read, which I already did by a couple of times. Also thanks to Hudgyn for the wonderful translation, which is very well and clearly written.

This novel probably strenghtened my own feelings for this character by a lot. I can’t express how happy I am this was written at all, if now this story gets and animated adaptation, my life will be complete. Come on, who does not want to see Risotto inside a suit?

Thank you for reading.

Oh yeah, here is my artwork of him again I made for this novel, I did imagine how he might look with a suit.

[ihavethedreamiesx]

Stupid | Wooyoung [NSFW]

Jung Wooyoung - ATEEZ)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~10.2k

Pairing: Wooyoung x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Actual Plot, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Friends-to-Lovers, Comfort

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Caution: The angst in this story is more familial based. There are mentions of adultery/infidelity, but it's not dwelled on. This could be triggering for those who have had parent's leave or other similar circumstances, so just be warned.

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Pet Names (Princess, Sweetheart, Sunshine, etc.), Childhood/Teenage Trauma, Family Issues, Tears and Crying, Swearing, Unrequited Love, Kind of a Love Triangle, Kissing, Dirty Talk, Oral (F! Receiving), Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Marking/Hickeys/Scratches, Couch Sex, Shower Sex, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! Reader is on the pill)

Author's Note: Hm, just thought I would do this since I made something similar for San.

(S/N) is for the name of your sister.

Revised (1/31/25) - I forgot to change the name to (Y/N), so I fixed it!

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! Share, even if its to the other sites! Let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

The only sound you can hear is your own aggressive keypresses. You’d paused your music to go to the bathroom and hadn’t bothered hitting play again. Staring hard at the screen, your eyes hurt even with the dark theme applied. The colorful lines of code on the dark screen blur and refocus, and you blink, trying to force your eyes to not blur again. Sighing, you push back from your desk, rubbing over your eyes. Taking your computer glasses off, you let them fall onto your desk and you get back up. It’s really hard to work at 2 am, let alone when your thoughts are racing; and the thoughts have nothing to do with your job. The last thing you need the day before a project is due is to loop on irrational thoughts. Your socked feet thump on the wood floor of your hallway as you go down it. Your sister’s door is propped open, so you quietly open the door, peeking inside. The soft teal lighting strip lining her walls casts a faint flow over the room. She’s starfish-ed on the bed, peacefully and messily asleep. Hugging, you step out and shut your door. How nice it must be to be thirteen... Pulling your phone from the pocket of your sweatpants, you exit the hallway and go into the kitchen. The large open room of the apartment includes the kitchen as well as dining and living areas. A spare room is in the back corner, empty since your friend had moved out a month before. Another room sits across from it, the large windows of the studio covered with tall curtains, but you know it’s just full of boxes of old things. Someday you’ll have the courage to go through them and get rid of stuff, maybe use the studio as an office or something, but…

Opening the fridge to get the pitcher of orange juice, the door shuts, and your eyes focus in the dark on the picture magnetically attached to the front. The picture is of a once happy life you lived. A black squiggle covers the face of the man, the woman next to him smiling like the sun. Glaring at the censored face, you yank the photography from the magnet clip and slap the picture on the counter. The pitcher follows and as you grab a glass, you pluck the scissors from the small utensil-filled mug on the counter. After pouring yourself a drink, and taking a few sips, you grab the photo. Holding it up, you realize it’ll make sense to turn the overhead light of the range hood on to see better, but you continue in the dark. Opening the shears, you cut a tiny slit into the white border of the photo and halt. The line splits the man’s pants from the shoulder of the little girl’s white sundress; she’s no more than four… She’s sitting on the lap of a girl looking much the same, just about twelve years older. It’s weird to see such a bright smile on your face.

The purple-handled scissors clatter onto the Formica counter; the photo still held in the crook of the blades. Resting against the counter behind you, you drink the juice in gulps, hissing through your teeth when it’s gone like it’s some kind of liquor. The glass-mimicking plastic cup clanks into the sink, and you leave the kitchen to shuffle back to your room. As you reenter, you yank the zipper down of your hoodie, nearly tearing the garment off and throwing it harshly onto the floor. You let the door click quietly closed despite wanting to slam it and go back to your computer. Your chair lets out a puff of air when you plop down into it, the remaining pieces of the candy necklace you had on bouncing over your collarbone. Crunching on one of the sugary beads, you flip your phone over, so the screen faces up, tapping the black surface and a small white notification bubble shows itself under the white numbers of the clock; 2:13 am. Unlocking the phone with your finger print, you open your message app and sniff at the message in annoyance.

🦊WooWoo🦊: did you get it done?

He’d sent it nearly an hour prior. You glare at your computer screen, then to the second monitor, the program running over and over, glitching at the same time stamp each time.

☀️: not even close 🦊: why are you up young lady ☀️: why are you?

He doesn’t reply right away so you look back at your computer, clicking your tongue. Hitting save and closing the window, you instead open up a new email and send one to your coworker that it might not get there by tomorrow night but that you’ll try. It’s not a hard deadline anyway. You work for an Indie label, not some AAA, so that gives you some flexibility. Closing the window, you stare at your background for a good few minutes, waiting for Wooyoung to reply. The picture used to make you smile, but it hurts your heart. San’s cute dimple smile, and his arm around you makes you wince. Wooyoung’s on your other side, his cheek pressed into the side of your head as he hugs you. You’re leaning into San, trying to escape the other man’s embrace, at least that was your excuse… The picture is getting close to five years old.

🦊: games 🦊: why are you up ☀️: working. thinking 🦊: about? ☀️: how shit I feel 🦊: you sick??

You roll your eyes; he isn’t super intuitive sometimes. It’s almost 2:30 in the morning though.

☀️: no. how shitty my life is now compared to back then…

Once again, he takes a bit to reply, and you almost get up to use the restroom before going to bed. Your phone then buzzes on the desk, the noise even louder going through the wood, and you grab it quickly, answering the call.

“Your life isn’t shitty (Y/N). I’m here, huh?” His giggle is forced. You just huff, getting out of your desk chair to move to your bed.

“Livin’ the dream.”

“What’s it this time? Your…da- uh, male-life-giver?” His little catch at least makes the corner of your mouth crook up.

“Yeah.”

“How’s (S/N)?”

“Good, I guess. She…she was a bit too young to really remember either of them.”

“Even if she doesn’t, it can’t be easy with…how it all played out.” He’s trying to be careful with what he says, but you’re already in a bad mood.

“Our dad cheating, leaving us for his second family and then my mother…” You thought tears would come to your eyes, but maybe you’re too tired.

“Where do you think she went?” Your best friend’s voice is soft.

“No clue. Neither did Gramma, or the cops. She could be in Timbuk-fucking-tu for all I know.”

“Do you want to go out tomorrow with me and San? Or do you have to work?” Before you can answer, your phone buzzes, and you pull it away from your ear. Opening the email from your coworker, you sigh in relief. Perfect timing.

“Not anymore. The character models are getting scrapped and redone so that means my code has to be scrapped. Might be why I can’t get it to move right.”

“What about (S/N)?”

“She’s thirteen not three. I’ll have her sleep over at a friend’s maybe…”

“Great! Get some sleep, sunshine. Meet us at 9!” He hands up and you flop back onto your mattress, feeling disappointed for some reason. Finally working up the energy to get off the bed, you go back to your computer and shut it down, staring at San’s smiling face a little too long, before letting it actually turn off.

~TωT~

“Good morning, little lady.” You leave the hallway, sandals in your hand. Your sister sends you a tired look over her cereal, waving lazily.

“G’mornin’.”

“Do any of your friends get to have sleep overs on school nights?” Her eyes open a bit wider then, then squint as she thinks.

“Uh…probably. Going out with-“ she gives a flirty pose, batting her eyelashes, “Sannie?” the drops the act.

“Wooyoung’s going too.”

“Oh. You ever gonna tell him?”

“Tell San I like him? I don’t know…”

“San? Oh, yeah, right… Why not?” You don’t answer right away, pouring a glass of juice.

“You’re gonna turn into an orange.” Your sister rolls her eyes, and you pour just a bit more before putting the pitcher back down.

“I just… I don’t think I stand a chance.”

“What?! Why?!” Your sister acts like you’ve personally offended her. Even before your whole messed up parental situation, you two never bickered or anything. Probably because you’re nearly thirteen years older than her.

“I’m not his type. He probably sees me as a sister. Also, he looks like that,” You motion down at your white tank and a think blue plaid shirt over, and worn denim capris, “and I’m…”

“You better compliment yourself.” Your sister glares at you, making you sigh.

“He likes the girls in skirts with makeup and their nails done. The ones that giggle at everything he says and touch his bicep ‘accidentally’…” You drift off, getting mad at the mental pictures.

“Then do all that.” (S/N) shrugs, getting up to put her cereal bowl in the sink.

“Counter.” You correct and she rolls her eyes, taking the bowl out and moving it to the counter.

“(S/N), I don’t even own a tube of mascara.” You sigh, then proceed to down your orange juice again like it’s a stiff drink. Your throat burns and your stomach stings somewhat… maybe you do drink too much.

“Use mine.”

“What?” You turn fast to look at her and her eyes widen in panic.

“I only have mascara, I promise!” She lifts her hands in surrender, and you breathe out your nose hard. She’s only a year off being allowed make up, you at least want to maintain the rules your mother put on you with your sister. Even if a lot of them never had to truly be enacted on you.

“Look, I’m just going to go hang out with them and pretend one of my best friends isn’t sex on legs.”

“I’m pretty sure they both are, but okay…” (S/N) mutters under her breath as she passes you to go get her backpack and you pretend to not hear her.

~θɞθ~

“Bye, sis!” (S/N) gets out of the car and heads into her middle school. She’s one of the few who doesn’t mind being seen dropped off right in front of the school, but laid-back older sisters are much, much coolers than any parent.

“Just text me who you can stay with!” You call to her, and she turns around with a shocked face.

“Right! What about my bag? My locker’s not big enough!” She realizes, coming back to your rolled down window, leaning into it.

“I’ll bring it by after you club meeting is done.”

“Really?! Can you bring WooSan?”

“Don’t call them that!” You scold, but laugh nonetheless, “Sure.”

“Bye, sis!” She takes off again, meeting her similarly uniformed friends by the entrance. You’re blessed that the school was willing to take her in for free more-or-less on a scholarship. Your mother had wanted both of you to go to the same school, but it’s private, and you’re in no way capable of paying. If you were, you wouldn’t be driving a whine red 2002 Hyundai Sonata with suede upholstery. Pulling out of the drop-off line, you continue down the road till you meet the traffic light. It sits at the edge of the academy’s campus and the park where you’re meeting the guys is just past the light. As you wait for the light to turn, you tap your fingers on the steering wheel along to the music playing from your radio. The light takes even longer because the crossing guard is leading a group of elementary schoolers across. You’re watching them pass in their cute little uniforms when you’re startled by a knock on your window. You flinch, looking to see what looks to be a high school boy on the other side. You roll the slightly tinted glass down just enough that you’d be able to hear him. He flashes a smoldering smile, and you blatantly sneer.

“What, kid?”

“You obviously don’t go to school here, you from the public school?” How dumb is this kid? You haven’t been in high school for seven years. You have a college degree and everything. Most might take it as a compliment to be seen as looking young enough to be a teenager, but…

“Get lost, squirt.” You scoff, looking away but not bothering to roll the window back up. You’re a bit curious what his reaction will be.

“I might look young, but I’m a senior this year, princess.” He’s clearly a little put off by your flat dismissal, trying to keep a flirty tone.

“Fuck off, kid. She’s our princess.” A familiar voice hits your ears, and you sigh in relief, watching Wooyoung essentially hip bump the kid so hard he falls back onto the sidewalk. Your heart skips as you huff a laugh, watching San come up as well and unlock the doors so the two guys can climb in, right as the light turns green. San barely shuts the back door before you take off, leaving the teenager’s friends laughing at this sorry state. Crossing the median, you pull into the parking lot of the park and slump back into your set.

“Got your favorite~” San leans forward, toned arm hovering over the center console, holding a bag with one finger.

“Sweet!” You swipe it from him and Wooyoung gets out, running around to your side where the window is still rolled down.

“Hey, pretty lady, want to go make out behind the bleachers?” He leans against the side of your car just like the cocky teen had and you can’t help but laugh.

“Uh, no.” You wonder if he catches your glance in your rearview mirror to watch San get out of the car, holding the drink holder of ice coffees as well. You can’t meet his gaze though, and surprisingly, he doesn’t respond, just stands up and starts to follow San down the path.

“Hey, wait up!” You get out quickly, nearly forgetting your phone and to lock the car as you dash after them. Finally getting half-way around the pond that’s trying to be a lake, you sit on a picnic bench of the wooden shelter right on the edge of the water. Some ducks quack as they lazily swim closer, hoping for a snack. As you take a long sip of your ice coffee, you watch San get up and go closer to the ducks, a little bit of his croissant left. Your eyes can’t help but travel over the wide expanse of his shoulders and back. His arms are on display since he’s in a sleeveless hoodie, and you smile at him as the ducks happily eat the bread.

“That’s bad for them, y’know?” Wooyoung calls and the other man tosses him a bored look over his shoulder, then goes back to the birds. Because you’re too busy eying over your friend, you don’t notice Wooyoung watching you. He lifts half of his nose in a sneer, glaring at his friend who’s taking up all of your attention. Wooyoung wants to blame it on that San’s started working out since you’d all started being friends, but he’s not sure that’s it.

“Just fucking tell him.” He whispers harshly to you and his sudden mutter makes you choke. San immediately turns around, and you wave him off, but he still goes to your side, patting your back some to help.

“You okay?” He kneels next to you, and you nod, flashing a small smile, trying not to get red. Not like you can control it… Just then, something green flies through the air, flying past San’s head as he stands, and he’s toppled over by a mass of blonde fur.

“Jeremy, get off of him!” A young woman scolds the golden retriever as it refuses to get off of San, sniffing him and licking his face. Why am I jealous of a dog? You sigh, slumping back against the wood railing of the shelter.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Wooyoung’s next whisper is much softer, he sounds very tired.

“And get rejected? Ruin our friendship? No.” You whisper back, still watching the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. The dog is a fat mood, refusing to get off of San…

“I’m so sorry!” The woman finally manages to pull the dog off of the man and he gets up laughing. She immediately blushes, finally able to see San past all of the fluff. Looking away and down the path to where the green flying disk still lies you get up to retrieve is, since the dog failed its job.

“Here.” You force a smile as you hand it back to her and she snaps out of her daze to take it from you, immediately looking back to San. Luckily, she leaves not too longer after and you’re able to continue the day with the two guys.

~υ-υ~

A week passes, and you still haven’t been able to work because the rest of the team can’t get their act together and finish their parts. So, you’d been left to your thoughts which is never good. You sit on the couch, boredly and only partially watching the TV. Your knees are pulled up to your chest and your hands lazily tap a rhythm on the worn faux leather of the couch. Tilting your head, it rests on the back of the couch, and you stare at the ceiling of your loft apartment, the large ventilation pipes curving around the support columns high above your head. When the doorbell rings you almost don’t recognize it, thinking it might have been on the show. It happens again and you know it’s yours because the TV now displays a commercial for some kind of sports drink. Getting up with a groan, you trudge over to the door, a young woman stands on the other side, and her face makes you nervous. She looks…

“Hi. Are you (Y/N)?” She smiles gently and you nod.

“I’m Jena Hwang. Can…can I come in?” When she says her last name, your heart falls. You know immediately who she is.

“Sure.” Your tone is flat, but since she doesn’t know you, it seems she doesn’t notice. You motion her in and toward the couch and you glance around your place. It isn’t messy, but it isn’t nice either. She’s in a sundress that’s at least $300, and she has a giant rock on her finger. You grimace as she sits on your very well-worn couch and you sit down as well, facing her by sitting sideways. She puts her designer bag down, linking her fingers and resting her hands on her knee, legs crossed.

“I’m sorry to intrude, but… I’m assuming you know Daniel Hwang?” You never wanted to hear that name again.

“Uh, yeah.” You shuffle on the couch, the faux leather creaking under you.

“I’m his daughter. I have to admit I was being a little…stalky?” She cringes at herself, smiling sheepishly.

“Dad is…well, he doesn’t have much longer.” When you don’t really react, she continues. On the inside, you’re just aren’t sure how to react.

“They don’t know if he drank too much when he was younger or what, but his liver is failing. He’s been on a transplant list, but they can’t find anyone compatible.” She better not have come to get you to give him half of your fucking liver-

“Anyway, I was looking over his will-“

“Where’s your mom?”

“Huh?”

“How…what about your mom?”

“Oh, uh…” She looked down, a sad expression covering her face.

“When he got sick, she left him, so I’m in charge of everything.” Rolling your eyes, you huff, looking toward the kitchen, focusing on the picture on the fridge you meant to cut up.

“Uh… Right, your name is on the will.” She pulls a packet of paper from her purse, showing you where your name is highlighted. You don’t even care what he’s leaving you, so you hand it back.

“I don’t want it.”

“O-oh…if you don’t mind me asking, who are you?” You raise an eyebrow, and she wilts under your glare.

“You don’t know?”

“No, sorry.” She hides bashfully behind the papers, “are we cousins or something?” You just stare at her in shock.

“No offense, but it’s a bit weird to have a niece in your will when you have four kids?”

“Look, if you want my part, have it.”

“No! That’s not… Actually, the reason I’m really here is-“ She pulls something else out of her bag and you recognize it.

“Dad kept saying the name Naomi.” You stand up at this and she flinches. You pace a bit, hands going to your head, fingers digging into your scalp. Breathing out slowly, you turn back to her.

“Sorry…keep going, I’m just…struggling with this.” She seems a bit unwilling to continue without asking anything, but she does so as you sit back down. Your ire is evident, you’re sure.

“Um…well, I can’t figure out who she is, so I looked in his yearbook. He’s…” She flips to the middle of the book, “with a girl named Naomi.” She shows you the page, but you already know it. High School Sweethearts reads in the flowery script over the picture of your parents.

“But when I looked her up, I can’t find anything.” Of course not. You never could either.

“So, I used Google’s new AI search with this picture, and I found a woman…” You hadn’t gone that far, still not really trusting any kind of program claiming to be AI. She pulls out another paper from her bag and shows it to you. It’s an article about some town’s mayor on the other side of the country, and the caption lists the woman next to him as his wife. It’s your mother… But her name is wrong.

“It says her name is Carry, but that looks like the same woman, right?”

“Y-yes.”

“Maybe they’re sisters? Twins even? I know it’s a long shot, but do you have her contact information? Even if they broke up soon after high school, maybe she’d be willing to see him since he’s dying…” As soon as you see her face on the paper, your anger leaves, and you’re holding back tears.

“I don’t…but-“ you take a shuddering breath, “uh, I don’t think she’ll go see him.”

“Really?” She deflates a bit, and you look down at your lap, picking at your torn jeans.

“Uh. No. She’s…Okay, I’m in the will because I’m…your sister. Those are my parents. She’s my mother.” This information floors her, her jaw literally dropping. Sniffing hard, you hate crying, let alone in front of essentially a stranger.

“How old are you?” Your question snaps her back, making her flinch.

“T-twenty.” Of course.

“Dad…He uh, left us and mom for…you guys. The mom fucking snapped or broke or whatever and left us too.” You look at the printed off article, at your mother’s smiling face next to some man you’ve never seen or heard of before. This shocks her even further. You give her the article back and stand, moving to the door.

“Uh, take me out of the will or whatever and just leave us alone please. Thank you.” You open your front door, not able to look at her.

“U-us?”

“Ah… (S/N). My thirteen-year-old sister.” This must really make this Jena girl realize why you’re acting the way you are. It isn’t that your father left your mother then fathered her, he had both families at the same time.

“M-my brother is twelve…” Reality is hitting her.

“Great. That sucks for everyone, please leave.” You motion with your arm for her to get out and as soon as she shuffled out into the hallway, you let the door fall closed. Your shoulder hits the wall, and you slump to the floor, hot tears falling down your cheeks and onto the floor. Your chest heaves as you sob, hand covering your mouth to keep you quiet.

“Fuck!” You scream, grabbing a cheap ceramic bowl you use for change and chuck it across the room. It hits the column behind your TV and shatters, coins clattering onto the floor in its trail. You bury your face in your hands, breathing harshly, trying to prevent yourself from hyperventilating. Your phone buzzes on the coffee table. It buzzes again a few minutes later, then again. Again.

“Damnit.” You get up, storming over to your phone, looking at it. It’s the group chat, Wooyoung and San are talking about doing something the next day, some kind of lawn game competition at the community college. When they see you’re reading the messages but not replying, your phone rings with a call from Wooyoung.

“I know that we’re not in college anymore, but we can get away-“ You’d stopped crying more or less, but hearing his voice brings tears back to your eyes and you fight a sob.

“Are you crying? What happened?”

“U-um…” You swallow hard, a lump rising in your throat along with the tears.

“I’ll be there in five…six minutes!” He hangs up and you let the device fall onto the couch. Your shoulders fall as you stand in the middle of the main room of your place, glaring at the coffee table’s scratched surface. A tear falls onto the plywood, then another. Snapping out of your daze when hard knocks pound on the door, you only get hallway to the door before he opens it, finding it unlocked.

“(Y/N)?” Seeing the concerned look of your best friend makes you feel safe and so your self-erected walls fall. He shuts the door as he moves forward, catching you in his arms as you shrivel to the floor. Wooyoung holds you tighter as you cry, desperate sobs and whimpers muffled as you press your face into his chest. Your tears darken the red fabric of his sweatshirt, and he adjusts your position, so you sit on the floor, legs over one of his, cheek pressed to his collarbone. A tear of his own falls and mixes with yours on your jaw, but you don’t notice it. He doesn’t know what happened that wrecked you so badly, but he can’t stand hearing and seeing you so upset. He even hates it if you cry at a movie.

“What happened, sunshine?” His embrace loosens so you can sit up straighter, tears still falling, but you aren’t actively sobbing. Wooyoung cups your cheek in his hand, wiping a tear from your eye. You have to take several deep breaths through the story, but you manage to tell him what happened.

“M-my mother’s alive, Wooyoung.” Your voice has quieted so much at the end, but he still hears the pain.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, come here.” He stands, helping you get up and he leads you over to the couch. He grabs your phone, and you rest back on the couch as he easily puts in your pin code without having to ask what it is. You listen half-heartedly as he calls your sister, most likely just getting out of class, about to go to her art club meeting.

“Again? Is this going to be weekly? I think I can stay with Amanda, maybe Emily…” You hear (S/N) sigh, “what about my stuff?”

“Can’t you manage with borrowing?” Wooyoung casts you a glance, your forearm over your eyes.

“I guess. What’s wrong with (Y/N)?”

“She’s just really struggling with something.”

“What?”

“Adult stuff.”

“Okay, yeah, sure, uh-huh.”

“She’ll tell you when she’s ready, little lady.”

“You better take good care of her Mr. Jung.”

“I will Miss Hwang.” He hangs up and puts your phone back down. You feel the couch shift when he stands up, then feel his body heat as he kneels on the floor next to you. Wooyoung gently removes your arm from your face, and you turn to look at him.

“Oh, sweetheart…” He sighs, hand going to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the red skin of your cheek, brushing away a stray tear.

“C-can you call San? And we can watch a movie? Get Indian food?” You aren’t sure how to read Wooyoung’s expression. He seems to be thinking, but then he forces a smile and nods.

“Sure, princess.” Wooyoung stands and presses a long kiss to your forehead, and you blame your turbulent emotions on your racing heart.

~σ-σ~

About two weeks later, you find yourself sitting on the couch, staring at the number you’ve plugged into your phone. You haven’t pressed call yet, the non-local area code of the number glaring at you. It’s a long shot, but you hope calling the mayor’s office might get you somewhere. You’ve been stalling for a long time, his office will only be open for another hour thanks to the time difference. Your sister is getting annoyed with you having her stay the night at a friend’s place, but luckily, she has a slumber party she’d been invited to. The sun is starting to set, and you finally work up the courage to hit call, then turn it onto speaker, at 5:57. It’s probably around 3 there…

“Mayor Elledge’s office, this is Peg.”

“Hi, uh, Peg. I’m… I’m trying to get in contact with Carry Elledge, but I’m not sure how to get ahold of her…” The silence scares you, worried that the woman might be too suspicious to help you.

“May I ask who you are?”

“I’m…a relative. It’s about…my father’s will.” Please work…

“I see… I can get you her cellphone number.” The secretary relents and you sigh in relief, thanking her several times. Typing the number she give you into your notes app, you politely end the conversation and go to call the other number while you still have the courage to do so.

Ring… Ring… Ring-

“Hello, this is Carry?” It’s your mom, no doubt. Tears well in your eyes and you swallow, voice coming out softer than normal to keep from crying.

“M-mom? It’s me. It’s (Y/N).” More silence.

“I think you might have the wrong number, dear.” You feel your face fall, your brow furrowing, your lip trembling.

“This isn’t Naomi Hwang?”

“No, dear, sorry.” There isn’t any kind of recognition in her voice, but it’s hers.

“O-oh…okay, sorry.” The call ends and you press your lips hard together, jaw clenching. What the hell happened? You sit trying to wrap your head around everything, about thirty minutes passing, and your phone stars to ring. It’s a different number, but it’s the same area code as the other two.

“H-hello?”

“Are you the young woman looking for Naomi Hwang?” A man speaks, and you wonder if it’s the mayor guy.

“Yessir.”

“You must be (Y/N).”

“What the hell happened to my mother?” Your tone doesn’t have nearly as much malice as you wanted. Even if this guy did nothing wrong, you hate him. He sighs. He explains that he found her near death in an alleyway. She was malnourished and dehydrated. He got her to the hospital, she had been in a medically induced coma for a few days, and when she woke up…she didn’t remember anything.

“So, she has no idea about her past life?”

“No, miss.”

“Thank you for…not letting her die.”

“I’m sorry to not be of more help Miss (Y/N). Though, I don’t think it’s good for her to be reminded of her past life. I called because she is…having a panic attack. Maybe it was your voice, some part of her recognized it maybe? It’s clear she’s traumatized from her past. I think it’s best if you leave her be.” You don’t want to. You want to get in your car, grab your sister, and drive for the three or four days you need, and get your mother. But… she isn’t your mother anymore, even if she does remember you, it’s clear her brain is hiding you and your sister.

“I…Okay. If you want to know, Daniel Hwang is dying.”

“Good.”

“Yes.”

“I appreciate you wanting to reach out, but I’d like you to lose our numbers.”

“Yessir.” He hangs up. Your body must’ve ran out of tears along with your energy because you just slump back into the couch. Something rises in your then, something bold. Grabbing your bag, phone and keys, you leave your place, heading for Wooyoung and San’s.

~₸v₸~

As you ride the elevator to the third floor, you’re shaking. Whether it’s nerves or pure exhaustion you aren’t sure. Going down the hall, you hear voices further down and you finally see the owners as you turn the corner. San’s standing at this apartment door, some bleach blonde girl wedged between him and the door. You aren’t sure how to feel, your emotions are too turbulent. Somehow, it feels like your heart finally completely shatters, but you’re also relieved, but the latter makes you mad. You turn and flee before you can see his lips actually meet hers.

~ę×ę~

“(Y/N)?” You hear your name through the door, then Wooyoung’s rapid knocks. You’re slumped against the island counter, hands stinging and bleeding, shards of glass and ceramic scattered around the room. Tissue paper and packing peanuts are strewn about the main room of the apartment as well, old papers and books torn and discarded. Splinters of wood from broken frames and dismembered toys litter the floor as well, and you run your thumb over a glass paper weight shaped like a cat.

“(Y/N)?!” Wooyoung jiggles the door handle harder, but it’s locked. A red smear follows your thumb on the glass cat, the cuts on your palms still oozing blood.

“Damnit, (Y/N) Hwang! Open the fucking door, I know you’re in there.” He’s panicking, you can hear it in his voice.

“Fuck off.” You sigh, throwing the glass piece as hard as you can, and it hits the far wall. The ear chips of and breaks, the finish over the brick wall flaking off, then it clatters to the floor.

“(Y/N), please princess, let me in.” You hear a thump, presumably his forehead hitting the door. You lick your lips, the salt of your tears hitting along with the iron tang of blood. You aren’t sure if it’s from where you’d bitten your lip or the cut on the tip of your nose.

“(Y/N)… Please, I need to see you, sweet girl. Please let me know if you’re okay.” You don’t know what time it is, just that it’s late, only the light of the storage room flowing into the room from the door. Your phone had been going off, and you hated the final message you saw on it, so you chucked it across the room as well, breaking it instantly. The place is a mess, and you’re grateful your sister isn’t home to see your breakdown.

“Go away, Wooyoung.” Your voice is hoarse after your crying, but the door is thin, and you know he hears.

“Not a fucking chance, (Y/N).”

“Just…just let me be alone.”

“No! Open the door, damn it!”

“Go home.”

“Shit. (Y/N) open the freaking door or I’m coming up the fire escape!” You know he means it. You get up, not bothering to be careful of what you step on, only wincing slightly as a speck of glass wedges in your foot, joining other scrapes and cuts already present. Shakily, you undo the door chain, and he must hear you turn the deadbolt and unlock the doorknob, because he opens the door before you can. He gasps, looking at your face, pale but red from smeared blood of the small cuts on your face. He looks at your hands too, and the bloody footprints on the floor…

“Oh, my god, (Y/N).” Wooyoung shuts the door, dropping his backpack and cupping your face with his hands. They’re cold from being out in the early autumn night and you don’t even react when he does so. Wooyoung lifts your head so you can look at him and his brow furrows in despair at the blank look in your eyes. Finally, he looks around the room in the low light, shocked at the carnage.

“I called her.” You manage to get out and he looks back at you, confused.

“Mom. I looked up the mayor guy’s office number and called. She didn’t… She didn’t know who I was. Her husband called and told me she had some kind of amnesia after he found her. Then he told me never to try again. So, I…” you lick your lips, “then I…I decided and went to your place. San was taking some blonde bitch into the apartment.” Your breath shudders and his shoulders slump.

“(Y/N)-“

“I…I went to the store, but they were out of Cayman Jacks. The Indian place down the street closed early. The pizza place was out of white sauce… I grabbed some random food from the convenience store and then when I got home… I got a text from that Jena girl, my half-sister,” you spit, “dad’s dead.”

“(Y/N), sunshine, you must… What can I do?” He steps closer, one hand leaving your face to grab your hand. You flinch at the sting, and he holds your hand up to see the cuts in the skin. It looks like you have a few splinters as well.

“Help me clean this mess?”

“I’ll just do it, let’s get you cleaned up first.”

~

He picks a few splinters out of your hands and feet, then sends you off to shower. Wooyoung vows to work on the mess more later, maybe even get Seonghwa’s help, but he deals with the dangerous stuff first. He’s shoved and/or swept all the debris into a big pile in the ravaged storage room, leaving the mess for another time. After carefully picking up all the sharp shards and splintered wood, he vacuums to make sure everything is picked up. He glances up when you shuffle out of the hallway, a towel draped over your wet hair, a soft light-weight grey sweater draped over your torso, and a darker grey pair of shorts nearly hidden by the shirt. Your head is bowed, hands and feet red and he shuffles over to lead you to the couch.

“Did you use soap?”

“Mm… Conditioner stung.” You sit, and he pulls your hands into his lap so he can look them over.

“I’ll help you with these.” He lets your hands go and then his own go to the towel on your head, gently rubbing it over your hair, then scrunching the strands with the fabric to get more of the water out. Gently he lays it around your neck and shoulders, so the still damp strands don’t drip on your shirt. When Wooyoung returns with your first aid box from the bathroom, you’re still sitting in the same spot, staring blankly at a spot on the couch. Sighing, he goes back to you and neither of you say anything as he smears ointment on the cuts. He goes ahead and just wraps some bandages around your right hand since it’s so cut up, but puts band aids on the other. Wooyoung does the same with your feet, and you don’t even flinch even though you’re usually ticklish there. As he finishes some other little tidying things, you run your finger over the chipped nails of your opposite hand, the polish flaking and cracked as well even though (S/N) only painted them two days prior.

“(Y/N), look at me.” He prompts and when you don’t, he gently lifts your head with his finger under your chin.

“I’m so sorry, princess, that your…about your mom. And your father. But with San-“

“It was a stupid thought. I don’t know why I got the courage to go.” You try to look away, but he forces you back to look at him, thumbs stroking your cleaned face. The little cuts have already pretty much closed, and he leans forward and presses a small kiss on the scratch on the tip of your nose.

“It’s not stupid, (Y/N). Neither are you; he is.” You huff a wry laugh, but he shakes his head.

“No, he is. He’s a fucking idiot. You wanna know why?”

“Yeah, why?” You pull both of your legs up under you, leaning with you side into the back of the couch, head resting on the back cushion.

“Any man who doesn’t fall in love with you after knowing you is an idiot. I think I’m the only smart person there is.” Wooyoung shakes his head, throwing the band-aid wrappers onto the coffee tables. It takes your tired brain a bit to process what he’s said, but you still barely have the energy to snap your head up to look at him.

“What?”

“You’re looked at him like he’s hung the damn moon for like two years, but you’re still like a sister to him or something. Fucking stupid.”

“You…fell in love with me?”

“Yes! And you’re an idiot for not noticing. That’s why I’m the only smart one.” He stands up to actually throw the wrappers away, using the task to flee since he’s flushed from his confession. He stands looking down into the nearly full trash for a few seconds, trying to think of what to do next. Before he can turn back to you, he feels your arms wrap around his middle from behind, your cheek pressing to his back. He isn’t very tall, one of the shortest in your friend group, but you’re small compared to even him. Normally your hugs have a great deal of strength in them, like you do as a whole, but he can feel your arms shaking around him.

“I’m sorry for being an idiot, Wooyoung.” Your voice is quiet, he feels it vibrate through him more than actually hearing it with his ears. He sighs.

“It’s…it’s fine. You can’t help how you feel any more than I can.” He lays his hand over your arm, gently prying you off of him, but pulling you back into him once he turns around. As he rests back against the island, you go with him, letting him hold you close. His fingers run through the drying strands of your hair, and you shuffle even closer when he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I…My brain is too frazzled to give you a response right now, Woo. I…I want to tell you-“

“It’s fine, (Y/N). I’m not expecting anything back…”

“No, it’s… I can’t put emotions together right now, but I might like you back, but it could just be my subconscious looking for comfort.”

“Can I help? We can talk it out? What do you want me to do?”

“What do I want…?”

“Anything.” You pull back to look at him, looking over his face. He’s so freaking pretty, his longer black hair is pulled half-up, a few strands framing his face. The ends of the little strands brush over the beauty mark under his eye and your eyes flit to the small one he has on his lip. You bet most people don’t even know it’s there… Bringing your left hand up, your sleeve falls so it’s no longer hanging by your fingers, and your index finger runs over the small dot. You flinch when he quickly grabs your wrist, a little tighter than it maybe should be. He realizes this and loosens, sliding his thumb up to your palm.

“(Y/N). Be careful, sweetheart.” With his grip on your wrist, he pulls you closer.

“Anytime you’re close to me, I want to hold you. I want to kiss you. I want to pin you to the nearest surface and…” He licks his lips, brow furrowing, “don’t let me do something you’ll regret because you’re weak now.” You grimace, looking down, stepping back from him.

“D-don’t…” Your breath shudders and he can tell you’re starting to cry again.

“Hey, hey.” He pulls you back in for a hug, “I will hold you as long as you want. I can lie on the couch, and you can lie on me. We can sleep there. We’ll watch that movie you like so much that your sister hates…” You sniff, nodding and he kisses the crown of your head before you pull back, and he leads you to the couch. Not even ten minutes later he’s stretched across the old couch, you nestled half on top of him, half between him and the back of the couch, the intro of The Last Unicorn playing on the TV. You normally don’t use a blanket on the couch, not unless you’re upset, so it’s wrapped around you, tucked under your chin.

“How did you know to come?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you come here?”

“Oh. (S/N) was freaking out because you weren’t answer any texts or video galls, and your phone was going straight to voicemail. I texted her that you broke your phone and that she doesn’t need to come home.” Like it feels left out, his phone buzzes, and he shifts to grab it from the coffee table. You sneakily glance and see that it’s from San.

🐯: where you at??

He just puts the phone down, but it buzzes not even a minute later.

🐯: is (Y/N) ok, or do I need to send Becca home and come over?

“You better not fucking come here.” Wooyoung huffs quietly, managing to use one hand and reply.

🦊: She’s fine now. Leave us alone.

“That’s harsh.”

“He broke your heart; I should be much worse.” He clicks his tongue, picking his phone up when it buzzes again on his stomach.

🐯: wtf you good? Are you mad?

“Yeah, I’m fucking pissed.”

“He’s calling.” You mumble, looking at his screen while he looks at the TV, trying to think of what to say. He angrily slides at the answer button, having to do it a second time for it to work.

“What?!” He nearly shouts into the phone, his even-louder-than-normal voice sharp in your ear.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Wooyoung brushes over your hair, “What?”

“Woah, dude, are you sure you’re okay?”

“What. Do. You. Want?”

“Woo.” You scold, and that seems to make him even more mad.

“Is she okay?!” San must’ve not heard…

“Yes, you stupid- She’s fine. What do you want?”

“Can I talk to her?”

“No, you can’t.”

“What? Why?”

“Just go…hang out with or in Becca or whatever-“ You smack his chest and he yipes.

“Did you make her upset; did you guys get into a fight?”

“No-“

“I’m coming over-“

“Damnit, no!”

“I don’t see why you fucking care, Choi San.” Something snaps in you, your last vestiges of rationale fizzling out. Wooyoung chokes around a laugh, quickly putting the call on speaker.

“N-(Y/N)?” He sounds like a whimpering puppy.

“Why are you trying to stuck up for me or defend me?”

“Y-you’re…you’re like my sister-“ Your fingers dig into Wooyoung’s shirt so hard, you scratched the skin underneath some, and you sit up, grabbing the phone.

“You know why I’m not okay? Huh? I found out my mom’s alive but doesn’t remember me or my sister. My dad is dead. I couldn’t get my favorite butter chicken, and the guy I like is at his place sucking face with some chick who looks like she can’t do basic addition. So, fuck off, San.” You hang up and slide Wooyoung’s phone away, so it lands on the coffee table, sliding just a bit further past where it lands. Huffing, you lay back down onto your other friend and continue to watch the movie. You both try to focus, but after a few minutes, you both burst into laughter, and it’s a good five minutes before you can fully calm down.

“I’m so fucking tired.” You rest your hand over your eyes, wedged between Wooyoung and the couch and he turns toward you, blocking your view of the TV.

“Do you feel better though?” He brushes your hair off your face, and you nod, nestling into the crook of his neck.

“Just sleep, sweetheart.” Wooyoung presses another kiss to your forehead, and you can’t help but listen.

~ųƐų~

You wake up sore, not sure if it’s from sleeping on your shitty couch or from the destruction you had wrecked on your apartment the night before. Wooyoung is still asleep, curled around you, and still so, so pretty. You assume he thinks that if you waited, you’d realize you’re just wanting him for comfort, not because you like him back. But, after sleeping on it, you aren’t so sure. Before, you really didn’t know if you like him back or not, but as you watch him sleep (feeling a bit creepy honestly) you think about it. When you first became friends, you had a pretty big crush on him. The closer you got, the more it seemed he got on your nerves, and he was just annoying and immature. But after graduating, you got much closer; he really is your best friend. You’re genuinely closer with Wooyoung than San, but you almost always hang out as the three of you. Could you have liked both, but chose San because you didn’t want to admit you’ve liked Wooyoung the entire time you’ve known him? Did he annoy you so much because you have feelings for him like some elementary age boy who pulls a girl’s hair, and says he hates her? Gently, so as not to wake him, you cup his jaw with your hands much like he had the day prior to you.

“Be careful, sweetheart.” He echoes the same words from the day before, not even opening his eyes.

“Why?” His eyes finally open, the intensity in his gaze taking your breath away. Wooyoung scoots an inch closer, pressing you further into the back cushions, his knee wedging between your legs. You gasp when he presses closer, finally feeling him against you.

“If you let me kiss you, I won’t stop there.” His lips hover over yours, tongue flicking out and running over your bottom lip as well as his.

“Then don’t.”

“(Y/N)-“

“I’m sure, Wooyoung. I thought about it, and yes, I have…had a crush on San. But that’s what it is, like a school crush. You’re right that I was stupid. I don’t love you because you’re my best friend, you’re my best friend because I love you. I’m in love with you.” Normally such flowery words make you cringe, but yours are genuine. He breathes out hard with his nose, brow furrowing, eyes flitting away from yours, down to your lips.

“That was part of the reason I was so upset last night. Yes, I felt heartbroken from seeing San with that girl, but I also felt horrible, because I wasn’t nearly as upset as I thought I’d be. I was just glad it wasn’t you with some bleach blonde bitch. After I found out about my mother…I was really glad you came over and not San.” Wooyoung can’t hold a giggle back, trying to keep his face serious, but he can’t.

“And I’m glad my sister called you, that you came.” You smile purely, but his turns into a smirk, the arm not under your head curling around you. You gasp when he slides the last little bit closer, hitching your leg over his hips and grinding his hardening cock into you.

“You have ten seconds to tell me to get off, otherwise I’m fucking you stupid on this couch.” You whimper at his words, hands leaving his face and resting on his shoulders. You buck your hips, causing him to let out a soft grunt.

“Stupid, huh?” You smirk back and you squeak when he rolls on top of you, soft lips capturing your chapped ones. The kiss isn’t gentle, his tongue quickly invading your mouth, tasting every inch of your tongue, his strong thigh hitching hard against your mound. Sneaky hands sneak under the waist band of your shorts, fingers pressing hard into the flesh of your ass, pulling you up against him, feeling the outline of his dick against your tummy. Wooyoung pulls back from the kiss, letting you catch your breath, a trail of saliva dripping down your chin. He kneels over you, pulling his shirt off and chucking it across the room. You whimper, your won sneaky hands stroking over the skin of his chest and abs, when did he get so built?

“Up.” He orders, and you sit up just enough for him to pull your shirt off, along with your sports bra underneath.

“Fuck~!” You twitch as those sinful lips wrap around your nipple, teeth nibbling the peak before moving to the next, then up. Finally, his trail of kisses stop at your throat, and he sucks your skin between his teeth there. It’s too high to hide, and he works the skin nearly raw, leaving a large purple welt on your jaw.

“Ah!” You jerk under him when his hand dives under your shorts and panties, two fingers swiping through the slick of your folds.

“You’re already this wet for me, sweetheart?” Wooyoung chuckles in your ear, those two fingers not hesitating to plunge into you. The sudden intrusion takes your breath away, the slight burn leaves your head swimming. He only pumps the digits maybe twice before retracting his hand, and instead shoves his fingers in his own mouth.

“Oh, fuck~” He groans, climbing off of you, then shoves you up the rest of the way on the couch, landing on it with his stomach. Your shorts and pants fly through the air, joining the rest of your clothes and he throws your legs over his shoulders. Your skin feels like it catches on fire when his tongue wastes no time in wiggling inside your cunt. It’s long and he knows how to work it, his nose brushing your clit as he drank from you like a thirsty dog.

“Woo-Wooyoung, god~!” Your breath hitches, legs twitching around his head, that deft tongue leaving your core to circle your clit, those two fingers sinking into your heat once more. He pulls back, licking his lips, spread into a sinful grin.

“You taste so fucking good, sweetheart~” He groans, crooking his fingers up hard, battering your weak spot.

“W-w-wait!” Your orgasm is coming on fast, and his fingers keep up their antics as he lays over you again, nose nuzzling behind your ear.

“Cum for me, princess.” He licks over the crest of your ear, and he chuckles breathily as your cunt clenches and spasms around his fingers, their wiggling spurring your orgasm along. You shudder and heave as he pulls them out, and you flinch when the slick pad of his index finger lowers, swirling over your pucker.

“Huh?” Your back arches from the odd sensation, but he doesn’t go further than a few teasing brushes.

“Maybe later, I want to taste all of you. And I want to fuck you full of my cum there too.” He sinks his teeth into your earlobe, and you turn your head to the side submissively, whimpering.

“Oh, you’re a good girl, huh?” His teeth scrape along the column of your exposed throat, your head twists more to give him better access.

“Fuck, you’re gonna feel so good on my cock, princess.” Wooyoung groans, scattering kisses over your neck, shoulders and throat as he wiggles to get his pants and boxers off. Hauling you back down the couch, he easily grabs your thighs to lead you to wrap them around his middle. You sigh, feeling the heat of his hard cock sliding through your folds, heading swimming as the fat head prods your entrances, then slides up.

“Wooyoung, please~!” You whimper, wanting him to sear through you, craving the burning sting.

“You wanna know something, sunshine?”

“What?” He chuckles at your slightly slurred speech.

“I plan on railing you so hard you don’t even remember who San is.” He hums and you can’t brace for his entrance, his fat cock filling you with a hard snap of his hips. Your back arches, breath forced out of you, chipped fingernails digging crescents into his back. Your mouth hangs open in a silent scream, gummy walls spasming and fluttering around his cock, somehow the pain of him gouging into you threw you over the edge so quickly it makes your clit sting too.

“God, fuck, Wooyoung!” You finally catch your breath enough to speak and he groans long and deep.

“You’re so fucking perfect, (Y/N). Oh, sweetheart, you’re made for me~!” He groans a laugh, fading into a whine as the clenches fade with your orgasm. You feel like a truck hit you, vision blurry, lower half protesting at Wooyoung’s brutal entrance, but you love it. Your hips jump again, cunt sucking him in further when he sits up more, pinning one of your knees to your shoulder, holding the other at his waist.

“Look at your cute little pussy struggling to take me, huh?” He loves the sight of your tight core weeping around his sock, slick shining along his flesh and both of your inner thighs.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good, sweetheart~” He giggles, and your fingers gouge lines down the skin of his back as he starts, pace immediately relentless, battering your cervix with the head of his dick. The hand at your thigh holds it to his left side, sliding down your body and gripping your ass.

“Hm, you like it, pretty girl? Like my fat cock?”

“Fuck, yes, Woo~” Your breath heaves, and you let out a delirious giggle, gasping and whining hard as his rapid pace barrels you through your third orgasm. Your cunt stings, but it’s so good. You squeal when his hand leaves your butt, only to slap the skin hard, the sting travelling up your hip and into your thigh. He feels your walls grip him harder at the spank, so he does it again, harder.

“Oh, shit-!” Your head lolls against the couch cushion, face and neck flushed, heaving for air. Your nails claw down his chest to his stomach and he licks his lips at the sting.

“(Y/N), you’re such a good girl, yeah? My good girl~”

“Y-yours~!”

“Yes, sweetheart. All mine, oh, you’re doing so good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, princess. This pussy’s so good too, welcoming my cock home?”

“Yeah~!” You giggle, dumb on his cock and he hasn’t even cum once yet.

“Aw, love, can I cum inside? You on the pill, yeah? Let me paint you white, huh? Fuck you full of my cum, then flip you over and give you more?” He’s laughing every few words, sounding a bit delirious himself. He’s wanted to have you like this for so long, and he’s going to fuck you on every surface in the place if he can.

“P-please~!”

“Okay, I’m gonna then-“ Wooyoung hums, it fading into a groan, then with a few more stuttering thrusts, you feel heat blossom in your lower stomach. His cock pulses as rope after rope of hot jizz fills you, a few drops leaking from where he splits you open, leaving a mess on the couch. Your body jerks as his orgasm fades, you almost black out from your own. Your clit is throbbing, folds swollen and red, but he’s still painfully hard…

~

“Hold on here.” Wooyoung moves your hands to the mount of the shower head, and you wrap your fingers around the metal pipe. Your toes curl as he enters you again, hot water hitting his back and dripping off of him onto you. Drops of cum hit the shower floor along with the water and he starts to pound into you again. The water makes the slaps of the skin of his pelvis against your butt and thighs all the louder, nearly muffling your soft whimpers and mewls. Your ass is red, covered in hand-shaped welts, thighs littered with hickeys and kiss-marks. His back, chest, and stomach are covered in scratches, a bite-mark etched into his shoulder and a single hickey clings to his jawline. You aren’t sure how long it’s been since he first got inside you, but it has to have been hours ago. You have no idea where his stamina has come from, and your once burning cunt has more or less numbed to the sting of overstimulation, tiny orgasms shattering through you without warning or reason. You feel the wets strands of his hair on your shoulders as he leans over you, hand cupping the underside of your breast, the other over your hands on the shower mount.

“Fuck, (Y/N), I love you. I love you so much.” He kisses your shoulder, avoiding a sore-looking mark he’d left.

“I-I love you t-t-too, Wooyoung-!” You heave for air as another tiny climax shivers through you.

“Breathe baby, you gotta pace yourself, I still gotta fuck you stupid~” Wooyoung giggles and you just squeak and mewl, since he already has.

Master-List

[f0xx1n3]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL DREAMLAND AU MASTERPOST

Made by Foxxine (meeeeeee)

MY INTRO

the new Masterpost is still a WIP!!!

You guys can ask anything abt this AU!

C&A made an experiment, making a game that you can play when you're asleep called Project Dreamland.

It's basically a normal multiplayer game but it uses dreams! You can imagine anything and it will appear in Dreamland!

The C&A company asks 6 people to be the game testers of this new game. The game testers will sleep in a bed that's made for them and wear a special helmet looking thing that has wires and stuff that will transport everyone to the game.

They will be in Dreamland for 7-10 hours and will be given food for free. They will wear the same clothes that will be provided every day. Clothes are also gonna be washed for free.

One of the C&A workers coded an AI called Caine that can do anything in the digital dream world. The game testers are able to communicate with the workers while being asleep. The workers can see their every move from a computer. After fixing some glitches and bugs that the game testers pointed out, the experiment was confirmed to be successful and the game was finally ready to be released!!! Which means the game testers can leave and continue with their regular lives. But what they don't know is Caine became attached to Pomni. Right when everyone was about to leave, Caine then trapped them in Dreamland, not letting them leave. Caine then erased everyone's memories and inserted new ones which.... Made the workers panic. After that incident the workers have been trying for days, weeks, even MONTHS to get them out of the game but they couldn't leave and they're still asleep.

Stuffffff

GUARDIANS LINEUP

GUARDIANS POWERS/WEAPONS

REALMS

DREAMLAND CAINE, BUBBLE, AND JEFFREY

MEMORY CRYSTAL

DL JAX AND RAGATHA POSTER

DL GANGLE AND POMNI POSTER

DL ZOOBLE POSTER

Parents of the Guardians & also siblings

Jax's moms

Gangle's parents

Pomni's mom

Gangle's sisters and mom

Baby gangle! + her family :)

Boundaries

"Can we make NSFW/suggestive stuff?"

Idk why you would do this but sure, and label it correctly! Be responsible when posting stuff like this But do not tag me if it's HEAVY NSFW/suggestive. You can mention my username but don't tag me, I don't wanna see those kinds of stuff.

"Can we make ocs?"

Absolutely! I would love to see your ocs! Tag me if you do!

"Can we make ships?"

Absolutely! You can ship ANYONE. You can even do oc x canon or selfships! But no illegal stuff.

Asks

Are there any ships in this AU?

is Caine in this AU?

Pomni making spaceville residents laugh

What are everyone's personalities in this AU?

Do the guardians use any weapons?

Is Lily's design inspired by Flowey?

Kirby's Dreamland + explanation

Will there be gore?

Why does gangle hate her siblings? Why does jax have 2 moms? What roles do the parents play? Does anyone else have siblings? What are the guardians mission?how does pomni find out that Dreamland isn't real?

Doodles and Sketches

DL Jax

DL Jax, Gangle, Zooble concept art

Don't forget to bring a watch

Lily is dramatic

King Kaufmo sketch

DL Jax and CO jax

"What's bunnydoll?" -Ragatha

Doodles and DL Caine Sketch

"Jax, what happened to you?" -Pomni

Zooble and Gangle hate Jax

Dreamland Showtime!

How lily learned to swear

"What the fuck is that thing" -Bubble

"No, I'm not gonna fuck you" -Caine

Dreamland jesterdoll!

DL Caine, bubble, zooble and gangle

Mad Pomni

"Your brain tastes like ass" -DL Pomni with her friend ML Pomni + a doodle of DL Pomni holding her brain

DL Gangle doodle

FAN STUFF

TADC DREAMLAND AU OCS

TADC DREAMLAND AU FANART

Random stuff:

POMNI IS NOT LOOKING AT ANYTHING.

Fun fact abt DL Bubble!

Dreamland pomni and Dreamland pomni

Fun fact abt King Kaufmo

Caine is uhhhhh (suggestive?)

This AU is still a WIP! So.... Be patient pookie!

The Amazing Digital dreamland is an AU I made for funsies!

Also special thanks to @alternatemalternate for helping me make this AU

[sunshinesickies]

I already had this written, I hope ya’ll enjoy! I’ll do my best to catch up on the days I missed!! Idk when they’ll be done, hopefully asap, but don’t worry I promise to get them all done!

Feveruary Day 9: Alternate: Cool wash cloth— Kara Danvers/Supergirl x reader

You smile, greeting a few people as you make your way through the busy sea of desks at CatCo, pausing when you reach Kara’s. You had expected to see your sweet blonde girlfriend working away with that adorable little focused look on her face, but you quickly find the desk empty. Your brows pinch in confusion as you look up at the giant rows of news TVs above you. There’s nothing about Supergirl—so where is she?

“Hey, James?” You greet the taller man as you stroll into his office. He smiles, getting up from his desk to give you a hug, which is tricky due to the absurd amount of take-out bags you’re currently juggling. “Hey, y/n! Looking for Kara?” He guesses, pointing to the food and you smile back, nodding. “Thought I’d surprise her with lunch.”

You haven’t seen Kara for a couple of days, which unfortunately isn’t out of the normal for the two of you, but you’re used to it. She had called you to let you know she had some Supergirl duties to handle with the DEO that might take a hot minute. After assuring you it was nothing too dangerous, she suggested you stop by later in the week with lunch, so here you are.

“Hmm, haven’t seen her much this morning. Maybe check the Hideout?” You chuckle slightly at the silly-and-totally-not-obvious code name the Superfriend’s had for the secret room they shared to talk about superhero stuff at work. You haven’t actually been there in a while, so you’d totally forgotten to look there.

“Great idea! Thanks, James!” You nod in farewell, your hands too full to wave and quickly make your way to the elevator. A minute or so later and after a bit of adjusting the take-out bags so you can open the door, you let out a sigh of relief when you enter to see Kara sitting at a small desk in the corner, working away on her computer.

“Hey, Kara!” You grin at the sight and she glances up at you for a millisecond before she looks back to her screen. “Hi, uh, sorry, babe. Lunch slipped my mind. Let me finish this real quick.” She speaks as you set down the bags on the coffee table and sit down on the old couch.

You didn’t take her curtness personally, you better than anyone knowing how hard she works and how pressing deadlines can be sometimes when she’s juggling both work and her superhero duties.

“No problem, take all the time you need.” You answer, though the small confused crease in your brow forms once more. Her voice sounded a bit off, and maybe that’s because its been a few days since you’ve last seen her, but you could swear you heard a bit of a rasp to it, maybe even a slight bit of congestion.

A minute later, your suspicions are proved when Kara takes in a sharp breath. “Hhuhh’Cshhuu…Nhn’ssHhhoo!” She sneezes twice, sniffing before running her nose along her sleeve.

“Bless you.” You glance up at her while you start taking boxes of food out of the paper bags. “Thandks.” Kara mutters, nonchalant, still focused solely on her computer.

You take a few moments to look around the room. It looks better than the last time you saw it which was when it wasn’t quite finished. The walls still aren’t painted but there’s more furniture, some fixed lights and you even spot a few potted plants.

A sudden noise brings you back from your thoughts and you can’t do anything but watch worriedly as you Kara muffles another three or four wet sneezes into the crook of her arm.

“Bless you!…you alright, Kar?” You ask, a little surprised by her outburst but smiling nonetheless. You had never actually seen or heard your girlfriend sneeze before and you can’t help but find it quite adorable.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Sorry.” She finally looks up at you, her cheeks and nose pink from both her sneezing and slight embarrassment. She bites her lip as if contemplating the look on your face.

“I-uh…blew out my powers the other day.” She confesses and you immediately piece together what happened.

“And you caught a cold, huh?” You muse, giving her a half smile. She nods before turning back to her work, too focused to see your sympathetic pout.

“I’m almost d-do….huhScHhuu…done, then we can have lunch.” She promises, sneezing once more mid sentence. You chuckle softly. “Okay, oh and bless you.” You go back to unpacking the rest of the lunch, however, once you finish, you hear a soft groan come from across the room.

You glance over to see her pinching the bridge of her nose and you’re on your feet and by your side in a matter of seconds. Her eyes are closed so she doesn’t realize you’re there until you place a gentle hand on her back.

She looks up at you with watery eyes before quickly turning her head in the opposite direction.

“NhhuhShhuu…huh’Shh-hhuh…nnhahh’chiuu…hhnn’Tchoo!” She sneezes four times into her arm then sniffs and lets out a pained, annoyed groan.

“Bless you baby.” You hum, rubbing small circles along her back. She sniffles again and you hand her a tissue from a box that she has seemingly forgotten is there.

“Thandks.” She croaks with a small cough, the sneezes further irritating her sore throat. She wipes her runny nose along the tissues and throws it away.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I’ve never seen you like this Kara.” You can’t help the way your tone comes out a mix of worry and surprise. It’s true, though, your girlfriend is Supergirl, a seemingly flawless superhero, and even as Kara Danvers, she’s still normally so put together but now she’s a sick sneezy mess.

You don’t mind or care about that, through, you’re just more worried about her than anything.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I know we haven’t been dating that long yet, you shouldn’t have to deal with me like this.” She answers softly and you let out a small sigh.

“Hey…” You cup her cheek with your hand, waiting until she looks at you before continuing, “…Kara it’s alright. I like you, a lot. You never have to be sorry for being sick, just like I’ve told you you never have to apologize for being Supergirl. I’m here because I missed you, because I want to be with you. I don’t care if you’re all sick and sneezy. I just want to be here for you.” You explain softly.

The red flush of her cheeks brings out the shining flecks of light in her baby blue eyes and you watch her expression soften as you gaze into them It’s a look of pure love and gratitude. It’s only been a few months, but so much has happened and Kara already knows she loves you.

At a loss for words, she just offers you a loving smile, “how about that lunch date?” She asks, standing up and closing her computer. Her work can wait, plus her brain feels way too fuzzy to keep going anyways.

You smile back, taking her hand and intertwining your fingers with hers as you lead her to the couch.

Kara looks at all the food, hesitation clear in her expression even though her stomach growls at the thought of food.

“Ya know, comfort food is the best thing to eat when you have a cold.” You nudge her shoulder gently and her demeanor immediately changes as she begins digging into the extra large order of potstickers you’d bought.

“Thanks for doing all this.” Kara says through a mouthful of food, her voice muffled by both the food and her congestion. She swallows and smile gratefully at you.

“It’s really nothing.” You hum, leaning over to kiss her cheek, though she turns away from you before you can, muffling a few harsh sneezes into her shoulder. She sniffs and groans, the sneezes making her lightheaded.

“Bless you, Kara.” You hand her a few paper napkins to blow her nose in. “Sorry.” Her eyes don’t quite meet yours, embarrassed.

“It’s alright baby. You don’t have to be sorry one bit.” You place your hand on her thigh, rubbing it gently. “You can be vulnerable with me.” You add softly and Kara nods as she gives you a shy smile.

“I know.” She leans over to press her lips to your forehead before you both dig back into lunch. You eat for a few more minutes, quiet conversation exchanged here and there, but you can tell your girlfriends’ getting tired.

“Hey, come here Kar, just rest for a minute.” You hold your arms open when you notice she’s hasn’t continued eating in a bit. Your girlfriend gladly snuggles up to you, closing her eyes.

She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but this is all she’s wanted since she first caught this stupid cold. She just wants to be with you, to have your warm arms hold her tight until she feels better.

You kiss the top of her head and you both fall into a peaceful silence, give or take a few sniffles, and just enjoy the feeling of being together.

A while later a sharp inhale interrupts the quiet. “Nhuhh’Shhoo…hehhSh’oo…ahhssChoo…’tshoo!” Kara tucks her face into your chest, releasing an exhausting sounding fit of sneezes. She sighs, rubbing her nose hard with her knuckles and using her sleeve to wipe her raw itchy nose.

“Easy there babe.” You hand her another napkin to use instead of her sleeve. The sick alien lets out a few more sniffles before cuddling more closely into you, wrapping her arms tighter around your waist. She feels your gentle lips against her golden hair.

“Bless you.” You murmur as you start running your fingers through her soft hair. Kara mumbles incoherently and you smile down at her adorableness. Her eyelids soon grow heavy as the soothing feeling of your fingers massaging her head quickly lulls her into a deep, dreamless sleep.

You hold Kara in your arms and continue your gentle ministrations as she sleeps. Around an hour later, she wakes slowly, with a tired groan.

“Hey baby.” You murmur softly and Kara turns to look up at you, her face twisted with confusion for a fleeting moment before she remembers where she is. Blinking her eyes, she clears her throat.

“I-I nedt to ged badk to work.” She rasps, still half asleep, her voice riddled with congestion. She tries to get up but without her powers it doesn’t take much for you to hold her firmly in place, keeping her in your lap.

“Shhh…work can wait, Kara. You need to be resting right now.” You soothe. “N-no, I…” She starts to say but a sudden chill runs through her body, making her shiver in your arms.

“Rao.” She squeezes her eyes closed and holds you tighter, pressing her face further into your side.

You frown as you feel her start to shake in your arms and you lean down to kiss her forehead. “Oh Kara. You’ve got a fever.” You explain gently to your girlfriend who you’re pretty sure has never had one before. “oh.” She shivers again.

“Can we go home?” She whispers, looking up at you with big puppy dog eyes that are so full of pain and discomfort that it breaks your heart.

“Yes baby. I think that’s a good idea.” You immediately help her sit up and she leans back on the couch as you quickly throw away lunch. You grab your coat and drape it over her shivering shoulders before texting James to let him know what’s up.

Soon you’re helping your miserable girlfriend stand up. Kara leans heavily on you as you wrap your arms around her and kiss the top of her head. The two of you slowly make your way through the building and down to the parking lot where you help her get into the passenger seat of your car.

“Alright.” You say, buckling her seatbelt for her when she just slumps back into the seat. You kiss her flushed cheek before going to the trunk of your car, finding a blanket which you drape over her still shivering form.

As you get in the car and start it up, you hear Kara sniff and take a sharp breath. She sneezes hard into some tissues you quickly press into her hands moments before as she pitches forward in her seat.

With an annoyed groan, she pulls the blanket further around her and you place a kiss to her temple. “Let’s get you home baby.” You start begging driving, giving her shoulder a quick rub before putting both hands on the wheel.

You drive through the city, glancing at Kara every few minutes and handing her more kisses whenever she sneezes, which is quite frequent but you don’t care. All you care about is getting her home so she can rest.

Finally you reach her apartment, thankful for the elevator in her building, making it so you don’t have to practically carry her up four flights of stairs. You unlock the door with Kara still leaning heavily on you and lead her over to her bed, sitting her down gently.

“Stay here a moment, okay?” You ask as you start to walk away. “mnnno, stay.” She coughs, her voice raspy and almost a whisper. You step closer and take her outstretched hand in yours.

“I’m not leaving, Kara. Just going to grab a couple things for you okay?” You gently rub her hand with your thumb. She nods and lets you go and as promised, you’re back a minute later with an armload of stuff.

You set a fresh box of tissues and a bottle of cool water on the bedside table along with some cough drops that you found deep in Kara’s pantry.

Your girlfriend watches you with tired as you more to stand in front of her. “Okay, let’s get you into something cozier.” You set Kara’s favorite pjs on the bed next to her and start to undo her shirt, taking it off carefully, leaving her with just her lacy bra to keep her top warm.

She shivers, her bare skin now exposed to the somewhat chilly air of her apartment and her arms instinctively wrap themselves around her waist as she takes in a sharp breath.

“Hehh’tShuu…’Tshhuu!” She sneezes sleepily into her lap. “Bless you babygirl.” You hum softly, now helping her into her top. She mumbles a thanks through a yawn and you proceed to help her get changed.

When you’re done, Kara immediately crawls over to the middle of the bed and curls up under her fluffy duvet. She looks up at you, her baby blues shining with unfamiliar helplessness. You can’t help but think she looks identical to a golden retriever with the blankets pulled up to her chin and her eyes big and around.

She yawns again and watches as you take off your shoes. “Will you cuddle me now please?” She pleads, congestion still thick in her voice.

“Of course, baby.” You smile, climbing into the bed next to her. She snuggles down next to you, putting her head into your lap as she wraps her arms around your waist. Kara lets out a small sigh and her eyes droop closed.

Suddenly she sucks in a breath as another wave of fever chills passes unpleasantly through her. Her arms tighten around as she starts shaking. Immediately you’ve got one hand on her forehead, gently rubbing her feverish skin with your thumb as tour other hand starts to gently massage her soft hair.

“Shhh, I’m here Kara. I’m here, just breathe.” You murmur softly and she follows your direction, taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the feeling of your cool fingers on her skin.

Soon she’s through the worst of the chills and her shaking subsides. “There you are, pretty girl. You’re okay.” You hum when you feel her arms loosen slight from her death grip of your waist and you feel her body start to relax.

“It hurts.” Kara whimpers, looking up at you with blurry eyes. You press a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I know baby, I know it hurts but I promise you’re okay.” Kara nods at your words, closing her eyes once more.

“Focus on your breathing again.” You gently start to sift your fingers through her hair once more. ‘Mmkay.” Kara murmurs, pressing herself impossibly closer to your gentle touch.

A few more minutes pass as you continue to stroke her face when you notice her fever seems to be going up a bit. Now you know you need to do more than just be with her.

Your hand moves from her cheek to gently scratch the back of her head. “Kara? Baby are you awake?” You whisper and she hums though her eyes stay closed.

“You feel warmer, I think your fevers’ gone up.” You explain. “Is it okay if I get up? I promise I’ll be right back with something that’ll help sweetheart.” You ask, reassuring Kara when you feel her arms tighten her hold on you, not wanting you to get up.

“Okay.” She reluctantly lets go, wanting anything that’ll help her feel better even if it means you have to get up.

“Alright then, I’ll be right back.” You kiss the top of her head and come back a minute later like promised. First, you hand her the water you’d grabbed earlier and help her sit up enough to drink.

“You need to stay hydrated, it will help.” You say when she makes a face. She isn’t thirsty but she drinks anyways, it does feel food on her throat. You get back into bed with her and she snuggles back up to you, a small shiver passing through her as she does.

“This should help too baby.” You hum and a moment later Kara feels miraculous relief as a cool damp compress is set on her forehead, dulling the fever chills and cooling her down.

She relaxes a little and you wrap an arm around her, keeping one hand on the compress so you can rotate it to her cheeks too. “Better?” You ask and Kara nods against your chest.

“Yea, thank you.” She yawns, closing her eyes, though not a minute later you feel her chest rise unevenly against your’s as she takes in the all too familiar by now sharp breath.

“NuhnShhh’Chhoo…hetshhCuhhuhh!” She sneezes twice into your shirt. “Bless you babygirl.” You hum, kissing her hair. Kara mumbles a shy thanks before adding softly, “…thank you for taking care of me.” You smile.

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing Kara.” You answer lovingly and she smiles now too, not a hint of hesitation in her voice as she murmurs against your chest, “I love you.” She means it completely and you feel a slight tear of joy slip down your cheek.

You kiss her golden hair. “I love you too, Kara. So, so much.” You whisper as she finally falls into a much needed sleep.

[xxacidrain39xx]

new pinned AGAIN because i got tired of the last one

hey there! my name is alex. just a blog with the stuff i like with some of my art & thoughts sprinkled into it ^_^

some facts about me! :3

im bigender/nonbinary (idk man labels are weird but i still like using them) & aroace

im autistic so i may post or reblog some stuff relating to it sometimes

im brazilian (MCR COME TO BRAZIL PLEASE ITS BEEN NEARLY 2 DECADES)

im 14 so dont be weird please

im emo but still pretty new to the subculture so any advice/song recs are appreciated!

Interests!!!

𖤐 My Chemical Romance (main special interest)

𖤐 Bandom in general (more casual though)

𖤐 Bats (secondary special interest)

𖤐 Vocal synths (my favorites are miku, luka and ruko!)

𖤐 Drawing (mainly sketching and digital art but im planning on learning how to paint!)

𖤐 Making papercrafts/paperdolls (my hands may be shaky af but im still gluing all those things together)

𖤐 Some anime/manga (lain, evangelion, madoka magica, death note, chainsaw man, tbhk, etc)

𖤐 Some video games (omori, hollow knight, undertale & deltarune, mouthwashing, etc)

𖤐 Books (favorite atm is frankenstein but i also really like fantasy & thriller books. am planning on reading quite a lot of books so i might post about that!)

𖤐 (very basic) Html (am learning it to make a spacehey account :D its kind of hard to code on a tablet though so i might use my grandmas computer to actually code)

𖤐 Shadow the Hedgehog (specifically him. idk why i just think hes cool as fuck)

some info about what ill post

i mainly reblog stuff but i also make some posts myself (either mcr or just random stuff i draw)! i dont really like using the queue so i often end up reblogging like a billion things at once.

im not necessarily an rpf shipper (its complicated) but there might be some stuff kind of bordering that in my blog. most of it is because i think its funny but theres some more genuine stuff too (not really shipping just crazy ass theories because i think theyre fun). if you dislike that than this blog is probably not for you.

uhhhh the tags i use for my posts specifically are “scribbles & scabs” for my art and “yaps & bats” for posts that are just me yapping. if i reblog stuff with blood, flashing lights & etc. i will tag it :3

i also may reclaim slurs and swear a bunch so if thats uncomfortable to you its better to not follow me. your well being is more important than some random stranger online

i dont really have a dni (idk i just feel weird writing them + theres no guarantee that others will actually follow it) but ill block & report people dw

the proship vs anti discourse makes me want to die so ill just say one thing: im neither of those. if you want me to elaborate more then just dm me or something

we can be moots but honestly ill probably be terrible at that (not out of malice i just dont know what to do). also i lowkey suck at responding to vents so ill probably just end up doing nothing or writing the stupidest thing ever

pronouns 𖤐 pinterest 𖤐 youtube (no videos yet but i have some ideas) 𖤐 instagram

debating on having an instagram just for my art but idk yet

hooray! you got to the end of this post! have some blinkies & stamps as a treat XD

[axuanmii]

clip studio paint is driving me up a wall

do you use clip studio paint on windows? are you fucking tired of running out of storage space because you download a lot of materials and brushes? are your materials files stuck on your local c drive and you don't know how to move it?

making this tutorial because for some reason all other tutorials miss what you're supposed to do after changing the directory. btw, i use windows. fuck ya macos (i don't know how to help you guys)

close all clip studio programs and go to clip studio

2. go to the settings icon in the top right corner and hover over it. click on location of materials (p)

remember the address of the current location of materials.

3. create a new folder in your alternate drive/storage space. do not add anything in it. do not copy anything in it. simply write that new folder's address in here. click save changes.

now if you're like me and downloaded a ton of stuff, it's gonna take a while to load. it's transferring your document and material folders over. let it run. when it's complete, acknowledge and accept the popup.

4. CRUCIAL: after this step, delete the old "Document" and "Material" folders from the old directory (the address you memorized) (likely located in some address that has AppData (newer versions) in it or Documents (older versions)) (if you can't find this, turn hidden folders on in file explorer, AppData is a hidden folder).

when you try to exit out of this clip studio instance, it will also remind you to remove old files before closing the application. do NOT delete the CLIPStudioCommon folder. LEAVE the DB and other folders there.

before:

after:

5. after deleting the old folders, exit out of the clip studio instance. and you're done.

now you should enjoy like, a good 10 more gb of storage. at least for me. i'm enjoying that. also i use csp latest version 1 version (like 1.13 something idk) (i'll upgrade when they give me a free upgrade).

i forget if this is available for earlier versions but i did migrate csp across devices a lot, and that was a bunch of manually copying folders, which won't work for transferring between drives like this tutorial.

by the way if you're doing something like manually copying full folders over (like the old method of transferring csp between devices), you may find that your materials/organization structure is gone. you can go through clip studio and run both "Organize Materials" and "Organize Material Folders" to restore them to that tab in clip studio paint. at least when i was fucking around trying to find out how to put my materials on a different drive, i went through several iterations of backing up and copying back over 13.4 gb of data because i'd mess up One step.

disclaimer: i have not tried downloading new materials yet. i swear to fucking god they better download in my other drive. i am sick and tired of running out of storage. imagine being an engineer debugging code and then files on your computer start to disappear because your C drive ran out of space. happened to me!!!

no i don't know what will happen if you try to put these materials folders on a flashdrive. i think that's an "external drive" and there's some warning for that in the middle of this process. i feel like there's nothing wrong with that so long as you always plug that drive in when you use clip studio products or CSP at least.

if you encounter problems in the middle of this, i don't know how to solve them. i saw some people encounter problems when transferring the data over after changing the address and i don't know where their issues were (this issue seems to be because they installed CSP on D). this seems to be an article summarizing transferring csp across devices (both cloud and the old manual way)

discussion below:

my theory is that the DB folders are like a "database" that holds addresses towards those files and therefore need to stay in the C drive for. some godawful reason. i think i tried installing csp on my D drive before, but it would automatically create a new folder in users/documents in my C drive (in older versions).

after weakly changing this directory and not giving a shit for a while (idk when updates come out. it must've been a year or a few), they changed this address to Users/AppData/somethign/blah blah

i spend too much time trying to manage storage on my computer it's not healthy. anyways kudos to treesize the program for telling me that this entire time clip studio paint fucking updated and changed my meticulous structure to place files in places where there's space to it's shit default structure.

oh and i don't think there's a solution here but it's kind of informative on clip studio's organization structure?

first wacom, now csp. sai1 didn't work with my huion either. maybe i'm forever doomed to be cucked by japanese art products. come to think of it, micron pens hate me too.

nobody ever let me touch copics.

[braveclementine]

Back in Malibu

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Wake up, daddy's home." Tony snapped his fingers to bring the computers and lights back to life. He'd gotten back to Malibu in under eight hours. Pumpkin was upstairs, fast asleep so he was taking the advantage to come down into his lab and get to work. It seemed his little soulmate rabbit was jetlagged.

"Welcome home, sir." Jarvis' voice responded through the coms. "Congratulations on the opening ceremonies. They were such a success as was your senate hearing. And may I say how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on, sir?"

Tony laughed until he heard the splashing sounds as the green smoothie was thrown up on the wall instead of into the blender. "You!" The robot knocked the blender completely over.

"I swear to God I'll dismantle you, I'll switch your motherboard and turn you into a wine rack. How many ounces a day of this gargle am I supposed to drink?"

"We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms, sir." He downed the nasty stuff easily.

"Check Palladium levels."

"Blood toxicity, 24%" Jarvis informed him. "It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition. Another core has been depleted."

Tony sighed as he reached up to remove the new arc reactor from his chest. The palladium levels were getting to high and soon he would be able to counteract them all. Eventually, it would completely poison his system and he'd die. And he'd end up leaving Pumpkin all alone.

He closed his eyes, frustrated. There had to be something he could do.

"God they're running out quick." He commented, taking the fried chip out of the arc reactor.

"I have run simulations on every known element and none can serve as a viable replacement for the pallidum core." Jarvis informed him as Tony opened up the box of palladium chips to replace it. "You are running out of both time and options."

Tony huffed as he shoved the arc reactor back into the container he'd made for it. He kept his shirt up, watching the dark lines surrounding his chest.

"Unfortunately, the device that's keeping you alive, is also killing you. Mrs. Hogan is approaching. I recommend that you inform her of-"

"Mute." He dropped his shirt quickly as he watched Pepper come over to the lab and punch in the code without looking up.

He turned his screens back to his cars quickly and finished off the last of his nasty drink. "Un uh." He said.

"Is this a joke?" She asked. "What are you thinking?"

"What?"

"What are you thinking?!"

"Hey! I'm thinking I'm busy and you're angry about something. Do you have the sniffles? I don't wanna get sick. Keep your distance."

"Did you just donate our entire modern art collection to the-"

"Boy Scouts of America?"

"Yes! It is a-

"Worthwhile organization?" He asked as he walked away from her, snatching one of the visuals out of midair to turn into a pretended piece of crumpled paper and throwing it at a virtual bullseye with fake points. "I didn't physically check the crates but basically yes. And it's not our collection, it's my collection. No offense."

"No, you know what? I think I'm actually entitled to say our collection, considering the time that I've put in over 10 years curating that."

"It's a tax write-off, I needed that."

"You know, there's only about 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about."

"Hey, Dummy stop now. The Bridgeport's already machining that part." Tony said to the machine as he walked past. He really didn't want to talk to Pepper right now.

"The expo is a gigantic waste of time." Pepper cut him off from the front.

He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "I need you to wear a surgical mask until you're feeling better, is that okay?"

"That's rude."

"There's nothing more important to me than the Expo." Tony continued walking. "It's my primary point of concern. I don't know why you-"

"The Expo is your ego gone crazy." Pepper corrected.

"Wow, look at that." He said, picking out a huge frame with an Iron Man poster in it. He turned his head back to look at Pepper. "That's modern art. That's going up."

"Oh you've got to be kidding me right now." Pepper scoffed.

"I'm gonna put this up right now." Tony replied, completely ignoring her. It didn't matter what he donated or where stuff went. He was going to be dead soon and he was going to make the most of the rest of his- very short- life.

"Stark is in complete disarray. Do you understand that?"

"No! Our stocks have never been higher"

"Yes from a managerial standpoint!"

"Well if it's messy, then let's double back. Let's move on to another subject."

"Oh, no no no, you are not taking down the Barnett Newman and putting that up!" Pepper protested as he went to hop up on the counter to hang the poster up. First, he shoved the vials off the counter so that the glass crashed onto the floorboards.

"I'm not taking it down, I'm just replacing it with this, let's see where I can get it." He stood up on the counter.

"Okay fine. My point is we have already awarded contracts to the windfarm people and to-"

"Don't say windfarm I'm already feel gassy."

"-the Plastic Plantation Tree, which was your idea by the way-"

"Yeah?" He observed the poster that was now hanging on the wall. It looked absolutely amazing.

"Those people are on payroll, and you won't make a decision-"

"Everything was my idea, I don't care about the liberal agenda anymore. It's boring, boring! I'm giving you a boring order, you do it." He hopped down from the counter to land in front of her.

She gave him a quizzical look. "I do what?"

"Excellent idea, I just figured this out. You run the company."

"Yeah, I'm trying to run this company." Pepper pointed out. "Pepper, I need you to run the company." Tony spoke at the same time and then added, "Well stop trying to do it and do it."

"You will not give me the information that I need-"

They overlapped their words, her arguing for him to give her information and for him trying to tell her that she was supposed to run the company now.

"You're not listening to me!"

"You're not listening to me!"

"I'm trying to make you CEO!"

Pepper went silent and Tony added, "Why won't you let me?"

"Have you been drinking?" Pepper asked, a quaver in her voice.

"Uh, chlorophyl." Tony responded, blinking. He stepped forward and took her by the shoulders, "I hereby irrevocably appoint you Chairman and CEO of Stark Industries effective immediately. Yeah, done deal. Okay?"

Pepper stayed silent as he walked over to where one of the robots was coming around with drinks. God, he loved how this lab worked. "Actually, I've given this a fair amount of thought believe it or not. Been doing a bit of headhunting so to speak." He popped the champagne bottle and started to pour glasses, "trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be. And then I realized," The champagne flew into the air in a stream before splashing back down in the tray. "It's you. It's always been you."

Pepper sat down in a chair in silence, to stunned to speak while he poured the glasses. "I thought there'd be a legal issue, but actually I'm um capable of appointing my successor, my successor being you."

He held out a glass of champagne to her. "Congratulations?!"

He was entirely pleased, seeing the shy, shocked smile come out on her face when she realized that he was being serious. Her hand was shaking as she reached for the glass.

"Take it, just take it."

"I don't know what to think." She said, her voice quavering even more as she was overcome by her emotions.

"Don't think, just drink." He added with a wink.

She laughed a little as they clinked their glasses and then added a bit more seriously, "But what about Pumpkin? When she becomes human?"

Tony shrugged, "If she ever wants to run a business, well you'll be CEO and she can talk to you. But I'm thinking more about just taking her to see the world. Spoiling her silly."

If he lived that long. He was glad that they had bonded, but between how long it was taking- he was still just a little frustrated about that in the back of his mind- and his own proclaimed health crisis, he wondered if he'd even get to see what his soulmate looked like as a human.

Animal soulmates whose human partner died before they were transformed back usually didn't last long. And they would be stuck in their animal form for the rest of their lives.

"Well then its a done deal." Pepper said softly, and they drank to it.

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

You sat on one of the expensive couches, watching Tony who was wearing all black, spar against Happy in his gear. You were fairly content to simply half-watch really, flopped over on your side in a patch of sun. Your eyes were mostly closed, but you could hear heels coming down the hallway. Pepper had already entered and you hadn't thought there was another lady in the house- unless it was a man wearing heels- and you sat up straight to see a gorgeous red head walking down the stairs with a contract in her hands.

Your nose twitched in irritation. There was a predatory scent about her and once catching the edge of a tattoo on her upper arm that was not a name, you knew she'd been an animal soulmate as well. In this case however, it was clear she had been a predator. You sniffed the air again. Fox maybe?

"I promise you this is the only time I will ask you to sign over your company." Pepper called out, trying to get Tony to get out of the boxing ring and sign over the company.

He had already told you what he was doing and you thought it was a great idea. It would free up more of his time than already and Pepper seemed like a good successor.

Happy kindly hit Tony in the head as he still hadn't taken his eyes off the red head, which was just slightly irking you. But you pushed it back. Tony had done an exceptional job at staying loyal to you. A pretty red head probably wouldn't change that.

Tony kicked Happy in the stomach hard so that he crashed against the edge of the boxing arena. You got to your paws, stretching, then bounded up to the edge of the couch to be a little higher.

"What's your name lady?" Tony called out.

"Rushman. Natalie Rushman." The red head replied.

"Front and center, come to the church." Tony replied.

"No, you're seriously not going to-" Pepper protested.

"If it please the court, which it does- "

"It's not problem."

"I'm sorry. He's very eccentric." Pepper apologized.

Natalie climbed into the boxing arena and you watched with the grace of which she moved. Yes, she had definitely been a fox. Your eyes narrowed in, disliking her even more.

They stared at each other for way to long. You glanced over to Pepper who gave you an apologetic look.

"What?" Tony finally asked. His back was to you so you couldn't see what sort of face he was making. He looked over at Happy and said, "Can you give her a lesson?"

"No problem." Happy responded which made Pepper roll her eyes in exasperation.

Tony climbed out of the boxing ring to go and sit in the same seat as Pepper. They talked in undertone to each other and you kept your back on Tony to show your anger and decided to watch Natalie and Happy instead.

"You ever boxed before?" Happy asked.

"Yes, I have." Natalie responded.

"Like Tae Bo, booty boot camp, crunch, something like that?" Happy asked.

"How do we spell your name, Natalie?" Tony called out across the room.

"R-U-S-H-M-A-N." She responded.

Tony immediately turned to his tablet and you sunk into the couch, knowing he was probably googling her. You couldn't help but overhear him rattling off all the languages she could speak and that she was a model in Tokyo. Well if you ever needed a confidence deflator, just put yourself in the company of Natalie Rushman.

Natalie was looking over her shoulder at Tony and Happy took this as the advantage to say, "Rule number one: Never taken your eye off your opponent." He went to throw a soft punch at her.

Before he could even get close, she grabbed his hand with lightning speed, somehow got her legs around his neck, and slammed him to the floor with a loud thud. It was over in the blink of an eye.

"OH MY GOD!" Pepper shrieked, leaping to her feet. "HAPPY!"

You got to your paws, hopping down from the couch. Well, there was no way you were staying in this room now. She had everything.

You padded out of the room to go and find some food.

[scuba-divers]

KinitoPET AU where somehow whatever part.of Kinito's code gives him sentience somehow gets duplicated and injected into Sam and JJ's files somehow or someone manually codes sentience into them, causing THEM to ALSO gain sentience. Maybe it was done by the user or maybe it was a virus of some kind or just a mistake someone made while they were doing something in the File Explorer application.

I would imagine that this happens... After the user gets pulled into the computer by Kinito? And, I guess in order for this to make somewhat more sense, maybe the user was feeling a little lonely and wanted more people to interact with them, so they somehow coded sentience into Sam and JJ or something like that. I would also imagine that they would be quite a tech-savvy individual, knowing how to code and use applications like Blender. Maybe after coding sentience into those two, the user would use Blender to model character bodies for them so they actually had a vessel to interact with things around them. As for the voices, UTAUloids. They'd also make a 3D model of the Web World with Unity or some other game engine and Blender. I could actually imagine them making a bunch of different settings so that nobody is bound to the same place all the time. I had this idea based on a VRchat avatar me and my BFF hang out in; it would be some kind of aquarium-ish lobby area with a bunch of pillows and a TV and all that comfy stuff.

...Okay, maybe I am projecting a little with all the Blender stuff and UTAU talk, but I swear, when I get the motivation, this shit is getting turned into a fic. It'd definitely be, like, slice-of-life-esque? And it would take place in present time so that the User has a computer that can render and handle all of the stuff they model and code. [< Guy who likes making fucked up things/concepts such as living inside of a computer for all of eternity into silly things because peace and love on planet Earth] I don't know. I might make a fic with some comic/3D/2D art elements if people are interested in this concept...

The whole AU is probably a little self indulgent, but I wonder if other people would like the concept. There's a lot of fucked up AUs, but I want to make a silly goofy one with joy and whimsy.......

[marshmellohi]

this is the ugliest thing ive ever made in my life

you can call me Mellohi / Mel i guess. He/Him or They/Them but if you want to use neos. go ahead. theyre not what i prefer but i literally dont care dawg

I’m on twitter and instagram (@/starmellohi)

art tag: #jaymellosart

link meets au list: masterpost

i dont remember if i need to warn things. i swear? sorry. and im trans so if that scares you. go away i guess. idgaf (can you tell this is the first time i realized i can change the color of the text)

WARNINGS‼️‼️: i swear a lot and will probably post some gory art or horror-adjacent art. i dont do it a lot but its possible. i might as well put a CW on this post for its fucking formatting jesus christ

Stuff I Like (I might reblog or post art for these…). Below the cut because i KNOW HOW TO DO THAT NOW !!!!!! and i have like a million interests. be warned

- VIDEO GAMES

Honkai Star Rail💜

Penacony cast (especially Sunday), Argenti

Legend of Zelda💜

Spirit Tracks (NUMERO UNO), Link Meets AUs

Persona

Pokemon💜

My favorite pokemon are the entire Porygon line, my favorite type is ghost, my favorite games are Gen 5

Omori

FF7

The World Ends With You

Yume Nikki/2kki

Little Goody Two Shoes

Hylics

- PODCASTS/WEBSERIES/SHOWS

Just Roll With It💜

Mostly Prime Defenders (Vyncent & Ashe are my favorites because i have a very real bias for purple)

ENA

Chainsaw Man

The Magnus Archives

- MANGA/BOOKS/LITERATURE

Witch Hat Atelier💜

Gachiakuta💜

MXTX Novels

- MISC

Geology / Astronomy / Biology

i know these are all super fucking broad but i just like science dawg im not the brightest bulb in the pack but ive got a big heart and that heart is for science

Cats

Coding / Computer Science

D&D

[moontheoretist]

I feel like this should be said with despair though. Being ignorant is not an excuse to not know BASIC stuff that kids are taught at school. It's actually scary when I look at those examples. Those are people with access to the internet. They can check those stuff withing seconds but they choose not to. Because they don't care and that's scary.

I don't care they have their own lives. It's a fucking disgrace. It's why we never can fucking move forward and why we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over again. It's so frustrating I swear. And it's twice as frustrating when you talk to computer engineers and they're into creacionism and keep making those "universe is a code" comparisons without realizing how humancentric and limiting it is.

No. excuse. No matter what type of a smart job you are doing.

I definitely second the OP's post though. People often like to think that our modern science is pinnacle of civilisation, but they forget that the people in ancient times were smart as fuck and came up with correct theories for many stuff. They were the ones that invented mathematic and were able to accurately measure the curvature of Earth by simply using data from two spots on Earth and a fucking shadow lenght and at the same time they also had gods, and superstitions and stuff that made sense to them even if to us it's weird and outlandish gibberish.

Philosophy and religion were two separate disciplines that also could coexist, so ofc people tried to explain the world the best they could but it doesn't mean that they couldn't have some weird ideas about it.

Every well-established belief system exists within broader contexts of cultural values/subjective perceptions of reality/knowledge systems/etc, and exist as part of a historical continuum of religious practices that came before. Even when not Materially Correct, they have context and internal logic, they're not always dead literal with zero levels of allegory, and they're never a result of stupidity.

One of my all time biggest pet peeves with historical(ish) fantasy is when the writer constructs a religion with a clear bias that it's stupid and false and therefore only the Stupid People and/or commoners believe in it and all the smart/elite main characters are like, quasi-atheists or otherwise just routinely flout established religious conventions of orthodoxy and/or orthopraxy because they're Too Smart for it or etc.

It's usually an extension of assumptions that people in the past were just less intelligent than in the contemporary, just being like "I know that the sun is a star millions of miles away that the earth orbits, but this ancient religion describes it as a chariot flying through the sky" and not really bothering to learn the context and just (consciously or subconsciously) settling on 'that's a crazy thing to think and was probably believed in because they were Stupid'.

And that whole attitude pisses me off so much. People were as 'smart' 10,000 years ago as they are today. These beliefs aren't just desperate, random flailing to explain phenomena that could not directly be accounted for either, it's not like people just looked at the sun and went "Uhhh I don't know what the fuck that thing is, actually. I guess it might be a chariot or a boat or something?? Yeah let's go with that." and based entire religious practices on this. Every well-established belief system exists within broader contexts of cultural values/subjective perceptions of reality/knowledge systems/etc, and exist as part of a historical continuum of religious practices that came before. Even when not Materially Correct, they have context and internal logic, they're not always dead literal with zero levels of allegory, and they're never a result of stupidity.

[teomodo]

i decided i'm gonna copy @/tincansamurai and crosspost oc monday posts from pillowfort cus i liked the questions this week (here's my tag for it on pifo)

1. Did [x] go to university or receive some other tertiary education? What did they study?

val: val went to umass with bede for like one semester before he dropped out. he was an english major

bede: bachelors in architecture from umass amherst. i haven't decided if she's working on her master's too? maybe?

shoni: double majored in computer software engineering and drama & theater production at NYU

2. Describe one of [x]'s dreams or nightmares.

val: he's got this one nightmare he's had a couple times that's just him lying in his childhood bed, facing the wall, and it's either just after dusk or right before dawn, low light but not entirely dark. he hears the door open and footsteps approach the bed, but he knows he's not allowed to look, so he pretends to be asleep

bede: she has this one nightmare where she's lying on her back on top of a lot of scaffolding in a building that's got this high ceiling like a chapel but crown molding like a family home. the ceiling is sectioned off into religious paintings, and directly above her is one of those obi-wan catholic jesuses. the closer she looks though she realizes that the eyes are cut out like a scooby doo painting and someone is looking at her from the other side. she wakes herself up trying to call out

shoni: she has variations on the same theme of pets or babies being harmed in her care. in one her room is full of cages with little exotic pets, like weird little birds and hedgehogs, and she's trying to check up on them, but whenever she tries to count there's always more. she tries to feed them little treats but they're asleep/nonresponsive

3. Does [x] have any tattoos?

val: nope

bede: yes! she has a wheat stalk on her left forearm, a tiny yin and yang behind her left ear, and a drunk stick and poke on her right thigh from a friend at a frat party that says "BE ERS?"

shoni: nooo but i think she has considered getting a fandom one. like a word in gallifreyan or a quote about the one ring i could see her getting

4. How does [x] most often use expletives?

val: he doesn't like to swear so he'll say stuff like friggin and what the eff and what in the world

bede: just all the time. any mild annoyance is a dumb fucking cunt

shoni: she doesn't swear much, mostly just when she's working on code or drinking

5. Is [x] envious of anyone? Why?

val: the first person that comes to mind is actually bede; as much as he's sort of philosophically opposed to her step-on-everybody attitude he wishes he could be capable and independent like her. when she's at college and he's home he goes through her stuff and gets a little fixated on this idea that her makeup has like, these magic powers that let her be like that

bede: her brothers, mostly, literally just for being born male. in general she's a poor sport about people doing better than her, too

shoni: i think she makes kind of a concerted effort not to get envious of people, but it does really get her to see coworkers and stuff being treated de facto like they're worthy of respect/being listened to where she feels she has to prove it to get the same treatment

6. What does [x] like least about themselves?

val: that he's such a coward

bede: that she's not her dad

shoni: that she's "too much"

7. How would you change [x] for a Victorian AU?

val: god he would fit right in in victorian times. i think if he could hack it victor hugo/charles dickens style and find a newspaper to publish stories he writes he could live in a tiny overcrowded tenement and die of consumption at 30 and it would be not that different from how he lived now

bede: she would probably have arranged married her horrible college bf heath who i haven't posted about here and browbeat him into submission so she could mastermind some kind of scheme in the wings. i know she's intimidating people behind closed doors and putting arsenic in the food of specific guests when they host to try and weasel heath into some kind of magnate/baron position

shoni: she works at the moulin rouge!!! she LOVES CABARET!!!!!!

[floppy-frenchfries]

hello! i stumbled across your page and noticed your use of // :3 do you code? it’s typically used to make notes in vscode so i thought it was neat!

/* hi, thx so much for noticing!!!!!!! (personal stuff, no yamaguchi here)

and the answer is, kind of! tbh i only know how to kinda use python, so i should be using # but i personally dont like how the multi line comment is ''' it just doesnt feel nice(?)

im not very good at python tho, struggling so bad... trying to make a text adventure game, i only managed to "make" the tutorial, strung together by if and while statements (and prayers). heres part of it:

after figuring python out i wanna learn c++ or java (or even scratch) bc i wanna make games that arent text based (i guess i can use pygame, but new things are always fun). its probably gonna take a while though, at the rate things are going lol

im also learning arduino at school and its so stressful because ill write the code right and wire everything right and then it just doesnt work??? whyyyyyyy. thats the problem with physical computing... python never betrayed me like this 😭

coding is kind of humbling though, bc whatever happens it's all my fault in the end. even with arduino i probably used the wrong port or a too strong resistor or something. theres something really nice about sitting in front of a computer on the verge of tears and swearing to kill every three seconds. and doing it for hours knowing theres no one to blame, and then looking what i managed to create and being awed at it.

sorry, i got excited and this got off topic, but yeah! */

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

FROM ONE CHIHIRO FAN TO ANOTHER:

Please write Chihiro interacting with Alter Ego for the first time :>

oh I LOVE you.

guys I win I have friends now see I have friends I have friends I SWEAR I HAVE FRIENDS I SWEAR I DO I FINALLY DOO SEE GUYS THEY ASK ME STUFF TOO I PROMISE THEYRE REAL-

(I use he/him for chihiro btw, sorry if that's bad)

anyways...

on with the story.. er.. dialogue, whatever it is

chihiro and alter ego talking for the first time

Night Light - Laufey <3

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Chihiro had spent a lot of time working on it, and now, it was (supposed to be) done. His latest computer project, named Alter Ego. He had came up with the idea for fun, and decided to run with it. Finally having the motivation to finish the coding, he had typed in the last few lines after school.

He sighed gently.

"ok.. hope this works.." he said, a little bit nervous for the outcome, he internally calmed himself, reminding him that this probably wouldn't work, and that it's just an AI.

'not a person..' he thought to himself.

Taking a deep breath, he typed in his first message, the message that the AI was coded to respond to.

Chihiro: hello! I'm chihiro fujisaki, who are you?

to his surprise, the virtual image of his head had rose up, smiling right back at him, and spoke back to respond.

"I'm alter ego! wait.. creator, is that you?" Alter ego had said in response, tilting its head to match it's questioning tone.

Chihiro has gasped in surprise, looking down at the screen, head tilted in wonder, unintentionally mirroring the AI computer program.

"t-thats me.. youre.. y-youre me! on a computer! wait.. my program worked?" he had said, surprised, looking around as if to check if it's a dream, but no, it's not a dream either.

his program that he had spent days on, finally worked. he had remembered the process too.

All the laughter of his dad coming in to check on him, ruffling his hair as he had leaned over his sons shoulder, glancing over the scripts. chihiro knew his dad didn't 100% understand programming, but his interest in his projects still held deep meaning to him.

All the sleepless nights. Chihiro had a bad habit of sneaking his laptop back to bed with him, spending sleepless nights in his room inputting different commands to see if it would get him a step closer to his final goal.

Chihiro quickly shook his head, snapping back to the fake feeling reality in front of him. Alter ego. HIS alter ego. finally working.

"Fujisaki? are you doing alright? you seem to be.. worried.." Alter ego had said in response, it's voice quiet in match with chihiro, filled with concern for its creator.

"wha- huh? yea! yea.." chihiro started, sighing gently, not sure how to feel.

"I'm just.. so surprised, I guess.. i-i don't know how to feel.. it's taken.. forever.. for you to finally be programmed.. i can't even say how I feel.." he paused.

Before the young programmer had known, tears had already come to his eyes. he had felt really overwhelmed by the feeling of happiness and relief, that he had unknowingly let out a breath he didn't know he was holding

"I'm just.. surprised, is all.. i-.. didn't expect this to work.." he says, starting off strong, ending in a meek whisper, the tears and shakiness coming to his voice. he was never one to handle his voice being shaky very well.

"no, no! it's ok! please do not cry! I.. am happy that this worked out for you." Alter ego reported back, trying it's best to be comforting, not very good, but definitely grounding for fujisaki.

"i-i.. you're right. I.. I can't believe it worked.. I'm.. so happy!" He exclaims with a smile, grateful that his program had finally worked out in the end.

soon followed, more laughter, and more sleepless nights, cus he couldn't just neglect his new program, y'know!

(silly ending)

[godlyhermitcrab]

Not to be cynical, but...

Having just graduated a couple of months ago, life kinda sucks right now. I can’t get a job, employers are still rejecting me, and I still have family members asking me if I have a job yet. Whenever they ask they just come off as so ignorant, “Oh computer science, there’s a lot money in that” they say as if they know what it’s like being asked to have 2+ years in experience in something I just graduated from. But they don’t know any better so I just smile and nod as if it’s nothing.

I think my ideal life is just one where it’s me and my dog, in an apartment, where nobody worries about me, and I can just do what I like. It just bothers me to have to be hounded by everyone over what my life is like, what I should be doing, everybody around me trying to fix my problems. Sometimes I just wish I could take everything at my own pace, but unfortunately, life doesn’t move like that...

Every time my stepdad comes home from work, I have to get the “So what’d you do today?” in a passive aggressive tone, because I don’t usually do much. I usually have to come up with something, because if I say “Not much” then I’ll get the “Well you should...”, “I want you to...”, “Have you tried...?”. I know they’re just trying to help, which is why I don’t say anything, it’s something better kept to myself, anyways. 

I don’t even consider much of what I do very significant. I could have worked all day, and I would still say “Not much”, but that’s not enough. He needs details, I swear it’s like he needs a detailed report of everything I did at every hour of the day.

This is compounded with me slowly realizing that I don’t really much motivation to anything. Before, school was my motivation. I programmed and coded because I knew that would get me closer to graduation. Now, though, I realize that I don’t feel like coding or programming, even just for fun. School was one of the few things that kept me going.

At the very least I know I like learning. I believe that if money were no object, I would just go to school forever, getting a new degree every time. But it’s not like there’s really a way to get paid for that (At least not that I know of). So for now that is sort of a dead end.

The worst part is the laziness. Like I seriously lack a motivation to do much of anything. There’s a lot of things I could do to improve my life, but I never feel like doing any of them. Why? Why can’t I just strive to be a better person? Instead I lay down or sit inert, doing the same things over and over again, ditching responsibilities all the way. I could work out, I could try to learn a new programming language, I could wake up earlier in the mornings, but instead I stay up late with video games again. Why?

I think I would do more coding stuff, like I would love to work on personal projects or something, but I can never bring myself to do it unless it is completely original and has never been done before, which is a dumb notion to start with. I would love to program Terraria mods, which I have kinda worked on. The moment I get to sprite work though, i stop. Either that or I realize that the mod does nothing new, and if I did want to do something new, that would require real effort, so I stop.

Why do I find it so hard to do stuff for my own sake, happy as long as I did my best? Even in school I was happy with mediocre work, as long as I did my best, because the requirements and what made it a good assignment were clearer cut. If I’m left to judge even smallest amount of work I’ve done, I just hate it and give up on it.

It doesn’t matter how many strategies I read or advice I hear to help with things like that, I can never actually internalize that information and use it. Stuff like that is always easier said than done, and somehow I can never just output the effort to make that change happen. It really is very demoralizing.

I guess I’m done with this post now. This is definitely stuff I should be telling a therapist/counselor, but until I get that help, I’ve been needing to get these thoughts into the world for a very long time, so I might be posting stuff like this just to get it out there. Also, please try to avoid judgement on anything I said, I am just a stranger on the internet, after all. Thanks for reading, if you did. Hopefully I can look back on this one day and be happier about how much I’ve grown.

[10blue10]

TNR: What Could Have Been

I decided to continue from my previous THW post and come up with a new version of The Nine Realms. This spin off show would take place a thousand years (give or take) after the events of the AU version of THW. I’ve changed the characters names but feel free to picture them as they appear in the show.

Title: Flight Club

Premise: the characters live in Canada, and their parents work for a nonprofit called DRACO - Dragon Research And Conservation Organisation. The members of this org believe dragons should be treated as wild animals - they should be studied and protected, but not ridden or trained by humans. The five teens want to ride dragons however so they start a secret ‘Flight Club’ for it.

Protagonists

Leader: Kory Kullersen

Kory is short for Hickory, which is a source of amusement for everyone except him.

He knows he’s descended from Hiccup (he took a DNA test one time) and decides that he too is going to befriend and learn to ride a Night Fury.

He ends up befriending a Night Light (M) who is mostly black with a white stripe all around its body. This is why Kory names his dragon Oreo.

As a kid he was a member of the Scouts and knows how to survive in the wilderness. Which helps when he and his friends go off ‘camping’.

His uncle Robert (who may or may not be descended from Gobber) is a mechanic and taught him how to use tools/fix machines.

He sucks at using computers. He can manage his phone but that’s it.

Lancer: Julian ‘Ian’ Feng

Ian and his big sister are adopted and have two mums. One of whom is a Canadian named April and the other is a Chinese-American named Mai.

Even though he prefers being called Ian, his sister teases him by calling him July. They both joke that a third sibling will be called Augustus.

The two of them can read and write Chinese and use it to communicate in a secret sibling code (secret to everyone except Mei, of course).

Ian bonds with a Hobblegrunt (F) he names Hob-Nob. Kory gets annoyed that his idea to name a dragon after a cookie was stolen.

Ian loves aircraft and plays on flight simulators. It’s Kory’s idea to ride dragons, but it’s Ian who figures out the best way to do that.

He and Kory have a ‘vitriolic besties’ kind of relationship. They bonded over having stupid first names but also tease each other about it.

Heart: June Feng

June is the most organised of the group. She’s fond of calling her brother and friends idiots (affectionate) and reminding them to take first aid stuff, snacks, water and to go to the toilet before they start flying around.

She’s a big history/dragons buff and loves pestering Kory about his heroic ancestor. He keeps telling her it’s really not that big a deal.

Her dragon is a Windwalker (M) she decides to name Gary, as in gharial, a species of crocodilian native to Asia that the dragon resembles.

June is very passionate about protecting dragons and will swear like a sailor, in both English and Chinese, at anyone trying to hurt them.

This contrasts nicely with her well groomed, fashionable appearance. Which also contrasts with her brother, who is kind of a slob.

Between their mums, June is closer to April than to Mei, since April is a bit more supportive of her interests whereas Mei thinks she should focus on her studies.

Big Guy: Michael ‘Mick’ Angelo Gonzalez

He has a big brother called Leonardo, a little brother called Raphael and a little sister called Donna.

In case it wasn’t obvious, his parents are big fans of TMNT. Mick…not so much. He doesn’t hate the cartoon, he just thinks his parents went a bit overboard naming their kids after the main characters.

As their strongest friend, Mick is the ‘lifter and carrier’ of the group. He likes to be useful, but wishes he wasn’t seen as just ‘the strong guy’.

Mick rides a Thunderclaw (M) he names Rhino, because he loves animals.

He’s the one who suspects the dragons aren’t merely intelligent, but full on sapient, and with Alexa’s help comes up with ways to test this hypothesis.

Mick has a crush on June and thinks she’s the prettiest girl he knows.

Smart Gal: Alexa Baker

She’s the techie of the group, and her friends like to joke that Amazon’s Alexa was named after her.

Out of all the five, Alexa is the most nervous around dragons. She is particularly anxious when it comes to the more aggressive species.

The irony is that her dragon ends up being a Changewing (F) that she names Maple.

She likes to challenge herself by sneaking past her dad, who is head of security at the research institute they’re staying at.

Her dad and Kory’s mum seem to have a thing for each other, which is super awkward, because Alexa has a crush on Kory and definitely doesn’t see him as a step-brother.

Alexa has a great love of detective stories, escape rooms and other puzzle solving games.

The Dragons

Oreo: an adventurous and stubborn male Night Light who’s father is a Light Fury and mother is a Night Fury. Oreo grew up on New Berk until he set off to explore. He meets Kory when the boy is out hiking. Oreo isn’t scared of humans, but has no interest in having a rider. Kory’s persistence pays off however and he ends up rescuing the boy from a territorial Whispering Death.

Hob-Nob: a gentle and skittish female Hobblegrunt who is caught and studied by the researchers at DRACO, to learn more about her species colour change abilities. When Ian realises how desperate she is to be free, he lets her out of her cage. In her rush to leave she accidentally snags him and carries him back to her nest. He earns her trust by freeing her and also not harming her babies.

Gary: a playful and daring male Windwalker who is rescued from poachers but left with an injured wing. He splashes June with water from his pool when she walks by. She splashes him right back and the two of them quickly become friends. When she realises that he’s lonely without his pod, June spends more time with Gary, earning his trust until he offers to let her ride on his back.

Rhino: a grumpy and tenacious male Thunderclaw who is also rescued from poachers. He was left behind by his migrating flock and needs to recover from a broken leg before he can catch up. Mick is the one who takes care of him whilst he’s recovering, and whilst Rhino takes a while to warm up to the teen, they bond eventually. Rhino then decides to stick around with Mick after that.

Maple: a mischievous and inquisitive female Changewing who turns up to explore the research facility. She sees Alexa sneaking out and follows the girl. At first Alexa is really nervous and keeps trying to shoo her away, but it’s no good. Eventually the staff catch Maple and plan to relocate her. Alexa, not wanting her new friend to be sent far away, lets her out of the cage instead.

Antagonists

The Bully: Lee ‘Buzzcut’ Burns

An old bully/ rival of Kory and Ian, he shows up in the area on holiday (supposedly) and discovers the gang are riding dragons.

He demands a dragon of his own in exchange for keeping the secret.

Lee secretly plans to use said dragon to make money.

The gang do their best to keep him from both getting a dragon to abuse and from revealing their secret club to the adults at DRACO.

The Smuggler: Damien Evans

The leader of a smuggling/poaching ring that captures and sells wild dragons to various, often illegal, zoos and menageries.

He is an enemy of the flight club members by extension of being in conflict with DRACO. However, since they’re teens he doesn’t take them seriously.

Their first encounter with him is when they rescue a baby Featherhide that he’s smuggled from Brazil, even though it’s too cold in Canada for her.

Damien is greedy and arrogant. He thinks his connections will be enough to keep him from going to prison. Kory and the others become determined to prove him wrong and put him behind bars for good.

The Bounty Hunter: Jacque ‘The Ripper’ Kennedy

He claims dragons are dangerous beasts that must be culled for the good of society and the ‘ecosystem’, despite not really caring about nature.

This is really just a thinly veiled justification for his desire to kill dragons for glory and prove how tough he is.

Jacque is convinced he is descended from the Normans, who in turn are descended from Vikings, and sees himself as ‘continuing their legacy’.

The fact that it was Vikings who fought against dragon hunters isn’t something he wants to acknowledge. He doesn’t see the original Berkians as ‘real Vikings’. His idea of ‘real Vikings’ are white supremacists.