#I think giving random things in video games some sort of sentimental importance just makes me happi

[purpamint]

Little deltarune comic for the holidays! (About the Holidays too, wow) This took a bit longer to make than expected because I chose to make it on paper, so I had to do a bit of color adjustments to make it look right in the photos. Despite it’s lateness hope y’all like it! :D

[rosesastrology]

THE MOON SIGNS

In astrology, your moon sign represents your emotional nature, habits, reactions, wants and needs. The way your moon sign manifests will differ because of the house it's in and any applying aspects to the moon. If you don't relate to the description, that can be why. The whole chart should be taken into account, nonetheless if listed things I’ve seen commonly represented by these Moon signs!

Click here for part 2 (Libra - Pisces)

— By @rosesastrology on Tumblr.

Aries Moon

Very emotional, but may choose to show another exterior (Sun/rising).

Usually grows more mature as time passes, but keeps their intense emotions and occasional childlike energy. They often want to do things on their own, without help. Even when they're growing up, they're quite independent.

Anger is explosive but often short-lived, although they can be the type to want revenge and hold a grudge- the actual anger doesn't last long. It comes up in waves. They can be quite nasty during that short time though, often saying things they don't actually mean just because they're in the heat of the moment.

They have waves of sudden inspiration and deep passion, but also of nostalgia and deep sadness. Their mood can change quite quickly.

Often, these people will be inclined to do some sort of physical activity because they want to see the best version of themselves and vent those intense emotions. This can also manifest in a fast-paced, busy lifestyle or just a brisk walking pace.

Their careers are often a form of self-expression.

They tend to go with whatever feels right in the moment, which can make them quite impulsive.

Their humour is quite childlike. They also tend to get embarrassed quickly (but they'll say embarrassing things all the same).

Tend to start working at a young age, or do something else that you’d usually expect from an older person.

They have a big sense of pride and ego, which can make it almost impossible for them to ask for help. The way to comfort them is often just by listening to them. Talking is not needed, unless you're reflecting back what they said. They enjoy feeling heard. They don't want you to make it better, they want to be heard.

They want to be recognized and acknowledged. They enjoy helping, even if it's just for them to feel better. They stand up for themselves, they will defend their emotions. They refuse to get crushed. In the same sense, this will make them help the underdogs.

Often, they have a sense of empathy but only if the mood is apparent. They can become very ticked off or confused by things like passive aggression. It can be difficult for them to put themselves in someone else's shoes, unless the other person reminds them of it. Then they will be more than glad to help. Direct communication and reflection books the most results with them.

They have a tendency to only help if you ask them directly.

They're quick to jump into things and tend to have strong opinions (feelings) even if they don't show them outwardly. Most do show them outwardly and can seem temperamental.

They tend not to have a filter and can seem quite savage, often immediately saying what's on their mind (whether good or bad). This is not to say that they can't control themselves, though.

Tend to feel impatient.

Are actually very undiplomatic.

They go through fire for those they're close to, and won't hesitate to sacrifice themselves. They tend to want to be someone's saviour or hero. This can come forward in their career, too.

They always want to keep moving. They want to make progress and continue. This is why letting go is often not the easiest for them, especially if they have a prevalence of air and earth in their natal chart.

Later in their life, they can be very autonomous and great leaders.

They can almost seem to be drunk on their own self and pride but in reality they’re just confident.

Thoughts tend to be superficial, thinking about practicalities or beauty unless other topics are stimulated.

Can be insecure, especially early in life.

Good at performing. Often their talents lie here.

They don’t necessarily struggle with letting go, but with loss itself.

They’re do-ers.

Persistent to reach goals. Very motivated.

Taurus Moon

Often, these people are artistic or at least have an appreciation for the arts.

They often enjoy cooking, if not they will enjoy eating. They have a very peculiar taste and opinion about how food should be. Often it's not too complex, and they tend to order the same thing at restaurants. They enjoy those types of routines, even if they like variety in their daily life.

They can come across as soft-spoken, sheltered people who enjoy staying in.

They tend to fixate on the past, or at least do a lot of reflection. Reflecting is their source of motivation.

Sacrifice breaks them apart. It's one of the things that will truly, truly touch them.

They just have a general sense of maturity and kindness, even if they have a childlike humour (depending on their placements), they will always have a sense of reliability and resilience.

They always strive for greater heights and can be hard on their past self, often linking their worth to their skill.

It's hard for them to shake off their emotions.

Not as materialistic as everyone makes them seem. Most Taurus Moons I know are actually the crash and burn type of people and have no attachment to their materials. Comfort goes above anything for them, they don't need much- they just need the right things. They tend to have strong opinions about that.

They always seek to understand their partners, even if it's in a situation where they didn't do anything wrong.

Can seem distant or hard to reach.

They're very sentimental and nostalgic.

Tend to have a pleasant voice.

They can have a very hard time letting things, people or experiences go.

They're very hard to convince.

They have a lot of emotional strength and resilience. They're always growth-orientated.

Escapism can be an issue because of their emotional need for comfort. However, this tends to lessen eventually.

They have a great love for nature. Animals, plants, space, people- they love all these things. They are fascinated by things that are bigger than them, the whole picture. That's why nature and space fit so well with them.

They tend to be mature and laid-back in relationships- some will find this boring but it actually gives a sense of home and comfort that you won't find anywhere else. Compromise is key.

They tend to believe that humanity as a whole can improve. They want to make the world a better place in a tangible way. This is why they're the type to donate to direct charities- they're generous and love seeing a form of tangible improvement. Tangible good.

Extremely loyal.

Direct in communication, often they talk about their past. Past experiences and nostalgia stand central in their emotions. They focus on growth.

If someone says they can’t do something, they will go out of their way to do it just to prove the other person wrong.

Self-sufficient. Good at handling criticism.

They can actually be quite moody.

They often talk about their past.

Grounded but they tend to want to know reasons. This includes reasons for their feelings.

Gemini Moon

Emotions and actions are rationalized.

They think before they talk (although they can snap).

They can be more unruly with their emotion when they're young, as well as when they're very stressed or feel as though their conclusions contradict one another.

Their intelligence is admiring, even when it's not traditional.

Tend to be apolitical because they see it as a promotion show rather than an exchange of ideas.

They find education/their work very important and prioritize this above their health.

They often follow traditions when it comes to the educational path, but tend to be more extravagant when it comes to creativity and self-expression.

They often enjoy reading one way or another, whether it's literature, poetry or manga or visual novels doesn't matter.

Very communication-orientated.

They tend to know a lot of psychological facts and tricks, which they use for self-betterment but also on others.

Confidence comes and goes as it pleases.

Doesn't do well with contradictions, especially if it's a contradiction about their own issues. They need reasons and conclusions to fix the issue, even if it's about emotions. This is both a blessing- they are focused on fixing the issue to grow, and a curse- they rarely ever go with the flow or go with what they truly desire.

Strong opinions that they love to discuss. They're not necessarily the type to start the discussion, but they will engage.

They’re extremely curious about a wide variety of topics.

Everything is based on their logic, so if it's faulty they feel like a failure.

Tend to be uncomfortable with risks and change, although they enjoy variety.

They're planners, they're generally not spontaneous.

They have a lot of different sides that they show to different people, it's like their personality has archetypes- but it's still all them.

They tend to know a lot of random facts.

Often enjoy mental stimuli in the form of media, movies, videos, video games, reading, studying, etc.

Quick-witted yet scatter-brained, they tend to confuse themselves.

Not the most organized people, even though they're planners, it doesn't directly correlate to their surroundings.

If they can't find a viable solution they can end up feeling as though they're crazy.

Inventive although they'd never call themselves that.

Can be the tough love type of people, which doesn't work well with everyone.

Because they're so good at analysing and articulating their emotions, they give good advice.

Flighty.

Will close themselves off if they're hurt.

Has a need to find comfort within their daily commute, whether that's through family, friends or a cafe doesn't matter.

They are connected to the sky- the intelligent yet structured patterns of life give them their smarts. Their intelligence is practical and physical, whereas Sagittarius' intelligence is surrounded around the higher conscience, Gemini revolves around earthly concepts.

The house where the Moon resides often shows what the individual struggles with but will eventually grow immensely through.

They tend to understand themselves better if they write down, or say their conclusions- even if they are very obvious.

They don't want to be controlled by their emotions, but it doesn't mean they don't honour them.

They tend to analyse everyone and enjoy being able to openly talk to someone about that. There is an inherent need to understand everything.

Sensitivity for the abstract.

Defensive over their opinions.

It's hard for them to just feel emotions and be in the moment or go with the flow.

Cancer Moon

Actually very secretive about their emotions, especially towards strangers and people they're not close with.

Changes their personality to fit with the people around them, even if that mans compensating low confidence for seemingly high confidence. Although they do this, they don’t see those friends as true friends, they know it’s fake and see through that.

Will act nice if they want something from you, like buying something for you or straight-up begging.

Family-orientated even if they don’t seem like it. Family means a lot to them. If their home is unstable they’ll be more likely to stay away from their homes, trying to find love and company elsewhere. Nonetheless, the situations hurt them deeply on the inside.

Can be quite moody.

They have a very nurturing and caring side but they won’t show it if they don’t have a connection, in fact they can seem very detached to strangers.

This supposed detachment is solely because they seek to protect themselves.

If they’re not convinced about your intentions or can’t gauge you, they’ll put up a front or wall. This can lead them to ignore people, even if they actually like them. Another reason is because they don’t want to disrupt someone’s life with.. their presence or the depth of their emotions.

They can play push and pull, like how the moon pulls on the ocean.

They go with the flow and the moment which is one of their best skills.

They believe what they believe, they trust their feelings and intuition. This makes it easier for them to understand things on a deeper level, rather than a superficial one. They can persevere very well through hardships because of this too.

They have great memory.

Tend to be very

They apologise for everything.

Tendency towards introversion, they actually prefer quieter places but when they’re younger this is not always apparent because they want to fit in.

Criticism tends to hurt them because they feel like they know best, criticism seems to devalue them in their eyes.

They don’t have a lot of true friends often. Even those who are very popular only see few of their friends as true friends they can count on.

They get antsy when they have to open up because they feel so deeply, they’re often misunderstood.

They’re very responsive to their environment.

Very proctective and defensive (on guard) about their emotions. You may notice they’re upset but they won’t vent. They’re emotionally quite mysterious (outwardly).

If they don’t like you or something you said, you will notice it.

Deep down they’re very emotional.

They often become more family-orientated after having children themselves.

They’re not weak, whatsoever. Mentally, they’re some of the strongest people I know.

They use their emotional resilience to their advantage.

Need a lot of validation and reassurance to truly feel self-sufficient.

Their anger is like a wave and it lasts longer than you’d expect it to. It takes a lot to push them past their limit, but watch out if you do.

Sensitive to outward stimuli such as bright lights or bright noises.

Often attracted to water or the sea in some way.

Can become very selfish when they’re in a bad mental space.

In time, they find their true emotions to be deep and more human than most, in a way. They can deal with these emotions, which is what makes them so resilient.

Can actually accept and feel their feelings without having to understand them which is very admirable. They can just be and feel.

They feel everything on a deeper level, which is why they can also manifest deep happiness into their life.

Leo Moon

They’re very creative and tend to be talented at many things.

Often, they’re good at acting or doing impressions.

Performing is one of their vocal points, whether it’s through music, acting, sports, or their individual talent doesn’t matter.

They can be very insecure and feel as though they don’t matter, aren’t good enough, aren’t pretty enough, etc. In fact, superficial (physical) inscecurity is a real issue with them.

They’ll only be outward (performing, being in the spotlight) when they’re confident. If they’re insecure, it’ll be quite the opposite. They’ll still enjoy attention, but in lesser doses and often with less people.

They’re very empathetic.

They’re generous, giving to others makes them feel better as well (whereas Taurus moons do it to leave something good behind that’s tangible).

Enjoy sharing their forms of self-expression with others.

They can be extremely motivated and persistent to achieve their goals. “Someone has to do it, so why not you?” because of this attitude, they can achieve great things.

Very endearing because they’re so childlike, they’re just so lovable yet bratty.

Validation makes them thrive harder and insults tend to wear them down. They often expect validation, and forget to give it back at times but not out of malicious intent- just out of cluelessness.

Can be a bit dramatic and vain.

They’ll throw a tantrum and then pout and honestly you can’t deny their apologies.

Have an aura of warmth and genuineness. Their warmth just spreads happiness and it’s magical.

Bad at handling criticism, even if it’s constructive it still tends to hurt their feelings. It makes them feel like they’re failures, often because they take things very personally.

Sensitive.

Can be passive-aggressive but won’t admit it.

Can be arrogant but in a way it’s endearing because they’re so forgiving and generous.

Enjoys looking nice physically.

Often, they’re hopeless romantics.

Hard to stay mad at because they’re very charming.

Can be very cruel when they’re angry.

They feel very powerful a lot, you’ll hear them say “How dare you?!” quite a bit.

Doesn’t and cannot hold back if something pisses them off. Very feisty.

Often they have a lot of friends despite their insecurities.

Very energetic and passionate.

They’re like an adult child. They carry all that childlike charm and wit with them. They’re so endearing and kind, yet just as sensitive. This is not to mean that they can’t be mature and serious, because they can and if you treat them like a child then they’ll likely say you’re infantializing them.

The unfortunate sides of the ego can take over when they’re upset. They tend to be straightforward, yet they want to people-please as well. When their ego takes over, they can be annoyed very easily.

They’re impatient for results, better things, people, etc. Practicing patience can help calm their ego.

Rich imagination.

They tend to get annoyed easily, but with the right people they’re annoyed very rarely.

They get especially angry if they feel the action was personal and purposeful.

Virgo Moon

High standards, especially when it comes to themselves.

Extremely sceptical of everything and everyone. They can have big trust issues.

Sensitive to outward stimuli such as people’s energies.

Destructive perfectionism and anxiety is common here.

They’re not emotionless but it’s very difficult for them to express emotions outwardly because they can’t understand them. Since they can’t understand it, it’s difficult for them to articulate those emotions without getting stuck. As such, they tend to repress their true emotions and sometimes motives.

Pets and kids tend to love them.

They’re extremely attentive to every flaw, regardless of if it’s truly a flaw or not.

A big pro of Virgo Moons is their power to pick up on any flaw or difficulty and change it or themselves. As such, they can work on themselves more easily. They’re always changing, growing and striving for the best version of themselves. That’s the true power of Virgo Moons.

They’re very critical, and judge themselves a lot.

Because they’re so analytical, they can pick up on cues, signs and little things other people won’t notice. This serves them greatly in their quest to be useful.

They want to serve or at least help others in one way or another because it makes them feel useful and fulfilled. Even if they’re leaders or performers, in their head they’re working for the purpose or future of someone else. If they’re bosses, they’ll still feel as though they’re working for their employees or family. Performers with this placement tend to feel as though they work for their fans.

They’re intelligent and seek intellectual stimulation through material things like fitness, health and work.

They live from day-to-day, hence why it’s important for them to feel useful in their work.

They naturally give of a reclusive energy. This is partly because they have a tendency to feel that they are better than someone else because they did something better or in a neater matter.

They’re generally mature at a young age and were forced to go and grow through many difficulties.

They feel like they have to control their emotions, or at least something or someone. Whether it’s health, a relationship, education or something else.

It’s hard for them to let loose completely, unless they have a fire sun sign.

Extremely dependable in crises.

They have a very dry, sarcastic and dark sense of humour that doesn’t work with everyone. They can overcompensate humour to feel more liked.

They’re always focused on their health and weight.

Actually very neat and generally organised.

Can be very on guard about their emotions.

Rather than rational, I’d describe them as reasonable. There’s a reason behind all their actions, and they seek reason behind actions of others.

They make boundaries for themselves, but at the same time they have a tendency to limit themselves.

They seek to always be useful and needed; to be auto-sufficient.

They seek for functionality and practical efficiency.

Methodical.

Have very soft skin.

They follow routines and systems as well as having a tendency to follow routine, they tend not to believe or follow the “impossible”.

They let their skill and work do the talking, whereas Gemini Moons tend to talk a lot about their skills and intellect.

Incredibly self-aware.

They don’t want to make their internal struggle seem apparent on the outside. They express their emotions in private, and seek to control them for the sake of their image.

They don’t want to repress their emotions but at the same time they don’t want to make it a big deal. They want remain “strong” and “under control” because otherwise they feel vulnerable, which makes them uncomfortable.

They spend a lot of time analysing other people’s emotions.

They often spiral into self-criticism because they find their emotions irrational.

Sensitive to scents and outward stimuli.

They make to-do lists when they’re stressed.

They often feel as though their emotions are a burden to others.

They feel distressed and lost when they can’t find the words to express themselves or their emotions.

Even though they put on a smile, they often seem like an open book aside from their anxieties or sadness.

It takes long for them to open up and they feel stressed when pushed, it works best to wait for them instead.

They crave emotional stability from others.

They always feel the need to be productive and learn new information.

Quite conservative in how they come across.

They often just think about their emotions.

[beesbeesbees]

On scope

So in my last post I mentioned scope, which is a gamedev term to mean how big your game is and, more specifically, keeping it from getting out of control. Not putting too much work on your plate, basically.

This is especially important for an amateur developer who is just starting to get into game development. Like me!

I’ve heard this a lot, but this video I watched recently helps sum it up really well. In that video they mention the concept of a “minimum viable product”. Basically, if you cut away everything that isn’t necessary, what does that look like? And is it fun?

Another video I watched related it to drawing. When you’re drawing, you do a sketch to give you an idea of the final picture, work out anatomy issues, etc. The minimum viable product is the “sketch” of your game.

So what does my sketch look like?

Here’s my “Core Features” list, or what I believe is the simplest form of this game in a “complete state”. This is a little more indepth than the video’s proposed “minimum viable product” - the example given was Mario jumping on a map with pits. No enemies, no powerups. This is more like Mario jumping on a map with pits and enemies and the occasional platform or mushroom.

To simplify it further would probably be “you have a daughter, and you can raise or lower her stats through picking between three jobs, and you can reduce her stress by resting.”

What I found really helpful was to add questions to every item. What would these actually look like? This got me thinking about the actual implementation.

(To be very clear about point 4, this was written when I was envisioning it more as making homunculi, where you could potentially create bespoke assistants for the needs of folks in town. You can’t sell kids in my game.)

Anything that did NOT feel essential was moved to a separate list. Things like missions, randomization, talking to the girls, a New Game+ system, that sort of thing. Nice to have, but ultimately unnecessary.

That said, I also created this:

This is “Core QOL”. QOL stands for “quality of life”, meaning optional features that make a game smoother and easier to play - think of an autosave system, being able to auto-sort items in an inventory, etc. Features that, while technically unnecessary, I consider to be a priority.

For example, you don’t NEED to be able to give your daughters custom names. I could just make it so that your daughters’ names are randomized. Technically speaking, it’s an optional feature!

But there’s something really special about custom names, I think. Sentimentality is what separates these games from being just a series of bars you watch go up and down. You’re forming an emotional bond with a character that you’re taking a parental role over, and it helps you feel more invested in the gameplay.

It might seem a little silly, but here’s an example of that sentimentality in action: I always name my Pokemon. I feel a lot more connected to what’s going on when I’m rooting for “WIDE LOAD” instead of “Parasect”. Suddenly, it’s not just a soulless collection of pixels that attacks when I pick the option - it’s my baby boy, WIDE LOAD, who I risked life and limb to catch even if he was 20 levels above me at the time.

And I love him so, so much.

Getting back to my list, you can see there’s a lot of “you can view the stats whenever”. Let me give some examples.

In Princess Maker 2, doing an activity will increase some stats and decrease others (e.g. working on a farm, working in a kitchen). It will not tell you which ones beforehand - you have to try them out and see. Sometimes it’s easy to guess (Farming increases strength and constitution), sometimes it’s not (Cooking decreases combat skill??). It’s trial and error.

This means that you have to write down or memorize what does what, which can be frustrating. I don’t mind the first attempt at something not giving you the info, but it should “unlock” the info so that subsequent attempts tell you exactly what stats an activity raises and lowers.

Games like Cute Bite improve upon this by telling you what stats will be increased by a job or study activity, but they don’t tell you what stat is decreased by a given job. The omission seems to be intentional, probably to make the gameplay more interesting, but I still dislike it.

Perhaps the “oops I forgot that decreases Etiquette, oh no!” is compelling gameplay for your typical gamer, but as someone with memory issues and ADHD, it just means I have to take notes. It would be cool if the game did that for me instead of having to have Notepad open while I play it.

It’s not like I want the game to play itself, and you’ll have to write down certain things anyway, like “having x stat be 100 and y stat be 150 seems to be the requirement for this character to appear” - but these are such basic things you interact with so routinely that I don’t believe automating them is bad.

To bring it back to Pokemon, recent Pokemon games tell you if an attack is super effective or not very effective. I’ve been playing these games for over 20 years, but this made them a lot more accessible and fun to me. Some folks complained about this “dumbing the games down” - as if they aren’t made for children - but I personally don’t find “ugh, right, I forgot Steel resists Psychic for some reason” to enrich my experience.

Back to raising games. So not only do you have to keep in mind what stats are increased by what, you have to remember what stats your character has and what stats you were trying to improve. Cute Bite helpfully puts the stats page next to your activity list, but Princess Maker 2 requires you to back out of your calendar entirely to look at them.

So I very often end up in a spiral of “what was I improving again?”, backing out, looking at the stats, saying “oh right”, going to the jobs, trying to remember what I was doing, et cetera. The video game equivalent of “walking into a kitchen and trying to remember what the fuck you were there to do”.

This is why I list these things as Core QOL. Backing out to look at a separate menu should be something that happens as little as possible. You should be able to, ideally, look at all the information you need on one page, or with a click or two.

Bullet point #5 (a memory album of daughters gone by) is by far the least essential one, but comes back to sentimentality. Being able to look back at the first daughter you ever made, to see her face again and what her ending was. It also does have a practical purpose - if daughter #1 was a “failure” at achieving a certain goal you were looking for, being able to look at her stats would give you some idea of what to try for with daughter #2.

All of these have the potential to be cut, but that one is the most likely. That said, all of them would be ideal to have.

There’s still the list of various features I’d like to have but don’t consider essential, but, well, this post is long enough already. But I feel pretty good about having nailed down the things I’m most invested in developing, and I feel like by working outward from there, the most necessary features should become more obvious.

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

[blessuswithblogs]

The Best Games of the Decade, By My Estimations

With only a good month (ACTUALLY LIKE A GOOD 24 HOURS HA HA I WROTE THIS BACK IN NOVEMBER) or so left of the 2010s (we are regrettably not quite far along enough to really start giving them jaunty names like "the Roaring Twenties" yet, but soon we will be free of this chronological no man's land) I find my thoughts turning to my enduring hobby slash interest slash everlasting shame: video games. While a decade is ultimately a fairly arbitrary point of reference, in the business of video gamesdom, ten years is a small eternity and some very significant games have graced us since the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2010.

 I might still be too young for this kind of nostalgia, granted, but I can't help but think about the game experiences I've had in the last ten years that have been altogether Important to Me. I am less interested in ranking these titles than I am in exploring why they made such an impact on me, and why, if we were to borrow the esteemed verbiage of one Sid Meyer, they stood the test of time. ...or less so, if they came out more recently. Sometimes on these lists I sort of scrimp and scrabble to actually fill it up with enough games and I have to sort of cheat and put things on there I haven't really played, but fortunately I am not so destitute that I have only been able to play one new game a year since this decade began. To that end, this is more of a personal list than usual, that will have less to do with "well the game was kind of a Big Deal........" and more to do with "well the game was kind of a Big Deal to ME."

Dark Souls The First:

This game will likely find its way onto many such lists in the coming days, because it is such a singular thing. Honestly, I would put Demon's Souls on here too, but that was actually like. 2009ish? At any rate, its spiritual successor was a marked improvement in most ways, expanding upon the core design tenets that made the unassuming FROM software ps3 title such an unexpected success: deliberate gameplay that demanded players go slow and respect both enemies and environment until they were sufficiently skilled and experienced, boss fights against extremely memorable monsters and also sometimes trees, strange asynchronous multiplayer that worked in spite of itself, and a meticulously designed world filled with oddities, grotesqueries, mysteries, and tragedies. Dark Souls was a phenomenon. "The Dark Souls of _____" is dig at gormless games journalists that endures and is relevant to this day. It created a whole subgenre that remains fairly untapped because of how much of a gamble it is to really go in on what made Dark Souls good in a game without that kind of name recognition and marketing blitz, and it changed the way the zeitgeist thought about video games in a lot of ways.

Inscrutability is an incredibly important part of the Souls experience. Abandon all hope of transparency, ye who enter here, because you're not getting it. The games were designed with the intent of being a sort of collaborative community puzzle, where players who stumbled on secrets and treasures in the game could leave down messages for others to alert them to hidden prizes - or just try to bait somebody to jump down a bottomless pit. Patches does that. A lot. It's kind of this thing. There is a very specific mood and atmosphere that Miyazaki and company were going for with these games that creates a sort of artistic catch-all for complaints I would level at basically anything else. "These weapons are poorly balanced." Yep. It's not really trying to be balanced. "Half of these systems are unexplained and nonsensical." Oh boy are they ever. "A giant man-sized baby just invaded my world and tried to kill me with a ladle." Yes, yes he did. The bizarre, fever dream ambiance of Dark Souls is enhanced by all of this. It will put a lot of people off and I can't really say "oh you just don't get it." because like no in any other game this would be bullshit nonsense for idiots. Souls just kind of makes it work by being compellingly baffling.

This murkiness also serves to highlight one of the core conceits of the game: the simple joy of greater mastery. Dark Souls starts you out with very little. You have nothing, know nothing, are nothing, and all the npcs you meet are pretty sure you're going to fuck off and die pretty much as soon as you break line of sight. On your first time through, that's probably true, too. The skeletons in the graveyard are infamous. As you claw your way through the game, as you learn more about it, you start to see measurable progress getting made. What was once a bunch of very tired men in armor giving you unsettlingly sinister laughs is now the outline of a story, vague but extant, with more waiting to be discovered. Where you used to flail around and die to random hollows in the undead burg, now you dance circles around them and paste them in one or two hits with your fancy weapons (or enormous wooden club, depending). A world that was once borderline impossible to actually traverse gradually opens up and becomes more familiar. In Dark Souls, death serves a purpose, and that purpose is not actually to block your progress. Its purpose is to get you to learn the game and get better at it. It's actually very player empowering in a way a lot of 'press F to pay respects' theme park rides are not. I'm probably treading a very thin line between thoughtful analysis (ha) and "you cheated not only the game, but yourself." here, but I'm going to stand firm in my belief that the way Souls games endeavor to make you improve yourself over time is a legitimate and meritorious way to design a game.

Of course, Dark Souls the First is very rough around the edges in spots. The second half of the game is somewhat infamous for being unpolished and kind of slapdash. The online was questionable, the PC port was laughable until the community went in and fixed it, Lost Izalith is a whole fucking thing, the works. The fact that it's so good in spite of the rough spots is, I think, what made it such a singular game. I'm one of those hopelessly sentimental idiot bitches who thinks that things that are imperfect are kind of charming and compelling in ways that very cookie cutter, by the book, technically competent but aesthetically bankrupt things are not. Miyazaki had a vision when he made this game, and that vision created an enduring legacy. That's worthy of respect in a way not many games are. It's messy and flawed but those flaws are just kind of endearing because they're proof that the developers were trying to push boundaries and be ambitious and make something new and interesting.

Dark Souls The Second:

Dark Souls 2 has a kind of weird reputation in the online net-o-sphere. There are as many opinions about this game as there are people who have played it. Sometimes more, honestly. I spent a lot of time kind of convinced it wasn't that good until some things clicked and I realized it was HELLA good. That you kind of need the DLC to get the whole picture is... unfortunate, but such is the age we live in. Going into this game, I thought that a second Dark Souls was unnecessary. The first had ended satisfactorily, and I had no desire to see FROM get tied down to the world of Lordran. The quote B Team unquote that developed 2 seemed to agree with me, and created what is one of the most metacognitive games I have ever played. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. When I say metacognitive, I do not mean it in the usual facile sense of, say, whatever Jonathan Blow has churned out recently that beats you over the head with the fact that you're playing a video game and you should probably feel bad about it or the way Doki Doki Literature Club does the Epic Subversions! of visual novels by trying to convince you that the game knows it is a game, but failing because it cannot overcome the limitations that it has as a static, unchanging lump of code. Dark Souls 2 aims higher. And you know me - I always try to aim high.

Dark Souls 2 deals with cycles. Most notably, cycles of futility. Cycles that are so enduring and perpetual that it matters not how you choose to resolve it, it will simply keep going no matter what you do. Drangleic is a hollow simulacrum of Lordran - and that is exactly the point. The familiarity and design consistencies between the two games is intentional. The curse of life is the curse of want. It took me a long time to really understand what Dark Souls 2 meant by that. The World of Dark Souls 2 is a sort of unending purgatory. Thousands upon thousands of undead have made the journey, linked the fire, perhaps chose to become the Dark Lord instead, only for some other undying fool to go and light it anyway. Each time, a new order is built upon the bones of the old, and in time, joins its forebears in the ashes of history. When I beat the game the first time and felt that the ending was unsatisfying, I failed to realize that was, again, the point. If the game had shipped with all endings in it, I think I would have been less miffed, but, well, the curse of life is the curse of downloadable content. If you choose to take the throne, link the fire, you have essentially accomplished nothing. Another age of Fire will begin, and then end, and so on and on into the ages, an unending litany of suffering and violence, because people cannot let go of what once was. They seek and scrabble to claim scraps of glory in a systemic nightmare of self-fulfilling prophecies and false dichotomies. When Aldia eventually arrives with the DLC packs, things really start to take shape.

Dark Souls 2 is a commentary on itself. An admission of the futility of trying to recapture the unique spark of the first game, and the necessity of doing something -different-. The playerbase hated it on release. It was both not enough like the first game and too much like the first game. It wasn't like, reviewbombing on metacritic hate, but the consensus rapidly became that 2 was just worse than the first game and kind of a bummer, a half-hearted cashgrab by a "B Team" while the really talented developers worked on Bloodborne. So, basically, they proved 2's central thesis completely correct. A hollow cycle of just repeating and iterating on what has come before serves nobody. In the words of Straid of Olaphis, "it is all a curse." That is the true curse in Dark Souls 2. An undead might link the fire to try and preserve their fading sense of self and memory, but it is but a temporary measure, a prolonging of greater suffering by bowing to an order designed to oppress. Before the Ringed City was ever a thing, Agdyne and Vendrick were here telling us about how Gwyn was so covetous of his own perceived right to rule that he cursed all of humankind into a twisted state of mutually exclusive ideas. Die as a mortal in the flame, or endure as an undead husk in the darkness, bereft of heart and soul. Or... does it even matter? All of this has happened before. It will all happen again.

Those who slave away eternally under this paradigm are doomed to never find peace or fulfillment, because it was not designed that way. Gwyn's fear was so great that he got entangled in his own karmic vortex, reincarnating over and over again with his other lord friends in slightly different forms and circumstances that would continue, eternally, to make the same mistakes in the pursuit of the same misguided goals. Aldia, the Scholar of the First Sin, is presented as one of the few beings in this entire misbegotten affair with an inkling of what is really going on. Both he and Vendrick knew that Drangleic was destined for the same dreg heap as every other civilization built upon the power of the soul, but all of their efforts to prevent this fall were for naught, because they were all confined by the same twisted system in which there can be no change or joy. It is only after Vendrick loses his nerve entirely and fades away into a mindless hollow and Aldia loses everything in his increasingly unhinged and ethically questionable experiments that he realizes that they were doing it all wrong.

I think I've probably gone on too long at this point so I'll try to be brief: the "true" ending of the game, made available after all 3 DLCs were released, involves gathering the power of truly mighty souls in a crown and using them as a sort of... loophole. The empowered crown does not cure the curse of undeath. What it does is prevent -hollowing-. The degradation of heart and mind. And after the final battle, you leave the throne behind. But there is a very important difference here from the Dark Lord ending of the first game. By finding this loophole, and rejecting Gwyn's order entirely, you and you alone have broken free from the endless cycle of suffering, and by doing so, perhaps gained the knowledge necessary to take the first steps into forging a new path entirely. Beyond the reach of Light, beyond the scope of Dark.

So yeah basically it's like Dark Souls the First, with some improvements and changes and what have you, so it's got the same fun to play deliberate explorey dark holey kind of thing going on, it just takes the concepts and runs with it to places I never would have expected a game to ever go. It is legitimately one of the only metanarratively aware games I have played (that I can remember, anyway) that sticks the landing, because it is not obnoxiously explicit about it. Undertale was fun and a worthwhile game by any reasonable metric, but it falls into the same trap as all the others: when you are acknowledged as the player of a game in anything more than a briefly comedic bit of 4th wall breaking, any hope of cleverness or thoughtfulness goes out the window, because it brings to light an ironclad truth of the medium: you, the player, are just as constrained in what you can do as the NPCs in the game, who are also fake. When they start haranguing you about about brotherkilling or being a cheating visual novel boyfriend or possibly girlfriend or what have you, it's just. Meaningless. It is a contrivance of the developer, specifically included in the game as a programmed possibility designed to be experienced.

Dark Souls 2 gets around this by not engaging with the player on that level of metanarrative. It deals much more in metaphor and allegory. It's not, like, especially subtle, but it is subtle enough to let your mind draw parallels without immediately blaring at you in comic sans "THIS IS A VIDEO GAME, KID" and taking you out of it entirely. It's a fine line to walk. A barrier between worlds has to be maintained for these stories to work. I'm the kind of player who will never do a renegade run of Mass Effect because I hate being mean and nasty for no reason, even to bits of code in a game, because I try to engage with it all in good faith and do my best to let myself buy into the illusion that these bits of code are characters with thoughts and feelings. When an angry flower man pops up and says "OOHOOHOO LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST RELOADED THE GAME BECAUSE YOU KILLED SOMEBODY" my first thought isn't "wow fucked up..." it's "oh well there goes my suspension of disbelief" because like. If you're going to call me out on that then fuck I can just go into the code and make you say "there is a frightful hobgoblin haunting europe, and its name is ligma" and like. Yep. Bow before my mastery. I guess. I don't want to get into a slapfight like that with Toby Fox. He seems like a nice person.

I don't know maybe this is just something unique to me, and other people can deal with these stories without immediately becoming depressed by the deeply artificial nature of it all. It's complicated. I will say that I like Undertale a lot, but the reasons that I like it come very much from the character interactions, spritework, and music, and not the time Flowey closed my game. It's just the same pony island bullshit as its always been. "OooOOoOOoh uninstall the game or you're actually just going back and messing with events for your own perverse satisfactionNNNnNNnN" fuck off dipshit it's all fake garbage for idiot children and I am not causing a cartoon skeleton existential agony by considering that maybe I could play this fun game that I liked and payed cash dollars for again. Now, all this considered, my next game on the list might be surprising...

Nier: Automata

Okay so let's just get this out of the way. Nier does a very famous thing at the end when you get the true ending where you are given the choice to forfeit your saved data in order to help another player get past the final boss, which is... the credits. So how is this different? Well, for one thing, it's not like the central narrative conceit of the game. The sexy android psychodrama functions perfectly well without it. It's kind of its own thing. It's... an expression of hope, kind of. An admission that you -care- about the fates of these characters, in spite of being bits of code, because their personalities and their world and the way they interact are all compelling and endearing, and you would give up something of tangible worth and importance to maybe give them a chance for a better outcome in somebody else's game, too. It's a very strange thing that I can think of no real equivalent for. You even get to put a little personalized message on the extra shmup ship you send over to help some other player get through to the end. It's an act that... kind of exists outside of the story, but also kind of in it. I think the important thing here is that the conceit is that you are making this sacrifice to help somebody else, not because a small goat child said something Foreboding. It's a confirmation that if a game makes you feel things, makes you think, maybe it wasn't just a waste of time.

So enough about that. What about like the other 99% of the game? A lot of people in my peer group are super sweet on the original Nier: Gestalt game. I played through it. It was... okay. Like it absolutely had very charming characters and story and all of that but it was just kind of a slog to play through and I kind of wished the entire game was just that segment where you're playing a text adventure. Automata continues to have very charming characters and story and all of that, but it also actually like. It's fun? To hit the buttons? Like, that Platinum pedigree isn't just for show. It's not the most technical game they've ever made, but it's fun and varied (shmups! shmups!) and there's some fun character customization and you even have a self-destruct switch which is always hilarious. The real attraction is the narrative, visuals, and gorgeous music, but it's also just a solid swordswingy dodgy robot smashy time irrespective of that. So like. Yeah.

The story and characters are very interesting and well done and goes to some very dark and uncomfortable places sometimes about the nature of memory, artificial intelligence, the often arbitrary labels we give ourselves, and the implications of sexy robot men with no junk. The nice thing about Nier Automata is that the events in game are fairly straightforward and relayed in a way that people who don't compulsively watch lore videos can understand without too much difficulty, so I don't really need to go into a detailed summary of why it's genius because of tHe AlLeGoRy. It kind of speaks for itself, for the most part. Does 9S want to fuck 2B or destroy 2B? Maybe some other verb entirely! We may never know. Well, I do know. He wants to fuck her. That is obvious. But it does not preclude the other, which is a salient and disconcerting point the game tries to make with that whole sequence. 9S has really had a rough time of it, you know? All that stuff in his own game and then he pops up on the First only to get his face caved in by the Warrior of Darkness. Rotten luck.

Basically, Yoko Taro sets out to say some things with his strange brainchild about androids with very big butts, but when you think about it, the attractiveness of the YorHa androids is also kind of a statement, too. If you're building something in your image, wouldn't you want to make it as sexy as possible? I would. Like, if you could make your machine children smoking hot, why wouldn't you? It's only polite. Nobody wants to be an ugly robot. Maybe the machine lifeforms would be having a better time of it all if they weren't put in categories like "short stubby." Anyway. Saying things. He says things. The game is thought provoking and evocative and at times very very sad. I love to cry. More on that later. I feel like I'm coming up a little short on this after my small dissertation on Dark Souls 2, but sometimes you need to fuckin. Get that kind of thing off your chest. Automata is challenging, but not Souls 2 challenging, where you kind of have to look in all the nooks and crannies and paid DLC packs to really get what it's trying to say. Though I think you fight the president of Square Enix in one of the Nier DLCs. That's pretty intellectually formidable.

Bloodborne:

It is no secret that I love the Bloodborne. It's very fun, very tight, usually works right most of the time, blood vials are shit but what can you do, and is one of the most visually arresting games like, ever. Ever ever. Behold! A Paleblood Sky! indeed. It's got the Souls pedigree to make combat fun and challenging, but its also very squishy and visceral and kind of grody in a good way because it ties in heavily to the themes of what really separates people from "beasts" and how more often than not we're just fooling ourselves. We're all rancid beasts. Hunger makes monsters of us all. It is this thematic strength, and the uncommon aplomb with which the game takes a hard left turn into "wait what the fuck???" town, that I regard it so highly. It's a game with a lot to say, especially about our narrow view of "intelligence" and the imagined "right" it grants us to subjugate and victimize those we deem inferior. The Victorian setting is no accident - a lot of the horror in the game draws heavily from classic colonialist sentiment and the erroneous conviction that all things are there for the benefit of Mankind (Glory to them, see previous) that commonly defines that era. Also that architecture is some spooky shit I tell you what. Even when there isn't a large spider man with a brain for a head hanging off of it. There are those, in this game, by the way. You thought you were gonna deal with werewolves? Bitch your eyes have yet to open, strap the fuck in.

Bloodborne is the coveted "what a twist!" game I so laboriously search for. A game that expertly leads you to believe some things, then gradually shows you that you are a fucking wrong idiot baby and now there are mushroom men from mars running around casting magic missile at you. It gets this right in part because the clues were there all along, if you bothered to search for them. The first part of the game is fairly expected of what the promo material was all about, save for some weirdness with dreams and cryptic mutterings of "Paleblood." Then, you know, some shit starts getting wacky. You start running into giantass monster men clad in the trappings of the church. The NPCs you talk to start becoming more and more unhinged. Sometimes you will be randomly lifted bodily into the air and die and it is fucking alarming the first time I tell you what. Strange men with bags start appearing in random spots, and if they kill you, they don't actually kill you - they put you in the bag and kidnap you, the only way to reach a certain area of the game early. This hidden area is filled with more bagmen and some very angry giant pigs, because those are in this game too. Then you finally enter the big cathedral at the center of town and its lined with really odd looking statues of aliens and you touch a weird skull and you get a vision from the Mothercrystal about how to progress, and you tell the password to the gatekeeper, and he's like "ok cool get in here" but actually he is a fucking dessicated corpse and this isn't Dark Souls there ain't no undead here. Maybe. Are there?

Then you get into the Forbidden Woods and there are like, the weird mushroom men, if you go looking for them, and snakes, and really BIG snakes, and men who are made out of snakes and kind of give you weird nostalgic memories of Resident Evil 4 and the las plagas sphagetti heads. And there are more statues and giant fucking gravestones? That are really unnerving? And also if you went poking around you might have also met Patches again, who is back, but also a spider, and he'll show you how to get into college, except the college is in a nightmare and full of slime people, which is actually pretty normal now that I think about it, and then you can go out into ANOTHER nightmare, which is just another obnoxious poison swamp but the winter lanterns live there and those things are a fucking trip. Anyway you get to Bergynwerth eventually and there are weird insect guys and weird disheveled looking fellas that literally eat your brains if they get close and this awful npc hunter (the real horror of the night i tell you what) who casts fucking megaflare and you FINALLY get to the center of it all and jump into the lake except it's not the lake, it's actually like a fucking pocket dimension and there's just a big spider chilling out. You have to kill it to progress. And then when you do things just REALLY go to hell. And this is to say nothing of the Old Hunters DLC. This game is a fucking nightmare and it's great. Easily one of the scariest games ever made, genuinely frightening and weird and it doesn't just lose its edge when you realize the monster is a big goofy man with a flappy jaw. You are the monster, and that monster is a tiny squid baby. You're a squid now! Because you ate umbilical cords! Why!? I DON'T KNOW! INSIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER!

So what I just described is probably sounding completely absurd, random, and borderline early 2000s era monkeycheese style humor, but you gotta believe me, it is only absurd. It's actually very deliberately absurd. A lot of people will say that Bloodborne is one of the only games to get Lovecraft right, but I have actually read some of that dreck and I will say Bloodborne really only shares some aesthetic DNA and nomenclature with the racist tentacle man who ate nothing but canned beans. The themes are actually very different. Lovecraft wrote of a paradoxical contradictory world where Unspeakable Elder Things lurked behind every shadow, ready to emerge and destroy everything, but they were also very apathetic and noncommital about the whole thing. They didn't actually care that much either way, but they were still Bad, because they were weird and alien and inimicable to human life because of that foreign aspect. Like Nyarlathotep was originally envisioned as a travelling black guy who would go from town to town and show people some awesome inventions and shit and that was supposed to be evil. The dude's neuroses about race permeated -everything- he wrote.

On the other hand, Bloodborne takes a different tack. One of the central theses of the game is that the Great Ones are -not- evil. In fact, they're rather sympathetic by nature and will do what they can to help, if asked. The horror of the game comes not from the actions of the alien monstrosities who are actually nicer than most of the humans, but from what the human characters do in the pursuit of knowledge and power. Atrocities are committed by the dozen in some vague pursuit of higher understanding, against both the citizens of Yharnam and the supposed cosmic horrors themselves. This point is driven home by the fact that a number of the more alien entities you encounter in the game aren't actually hostile at all. Rom, the Vacuous Spider, will just chill out with you indefinitely at the Moonside Lake if you don't strike the first blow, and doesn't even really begin to actively defend herself until you prove yourself to be a determined murder machine. Ebrietas, the Daughter of the Cosmos, is found minding her own business in an out of the way corner of the Upper Cathedral Ward, mourning Rom after you, you know, killed her in cold blood. Again, she is completely non-hostile until you start shit. In the Old Hunters, Kos (or some say Kosm) is actually benevolent sort of mother goddess to the people of a small fishing hamlet. ...until the "scholars" of Bergynwerth murder her in the name of science, too.

All of the evil and horror and stomach-turning cruelty in Bloodborne comes from corrupt systems of power run rampant, not something as facile as the supposedly intrinsic malice of beings different from us. The terrors of the cosmos are nothing before the vile, willful depravity of mankind itself. That's the idea at the heart of it all. The Great Ones, who exist on a higher plane of existence, seem to have largely left this cruelty behind. Even the Moon Presence, the principle cause of the Hunter's Dream, is trying to help Laurence and Gherman - it's just that it's so different from humans, its idea of helping is a bit. Strange. It's this really fresh and unique take on the genre, this byzantine tragedy of miscommunication, good intentions, and mortal greed, that creates one of the vanishingly few games at are actually frightening. It doesn't even have to sacrifice being a good game to do it! No hiding in closets from the scourge of screen blur and heavy breathing here. In terms of gameplay, it's probably the most refined of quintet. I'm unsure if I should count Sekiro with them or not. It's a much different thing. Trick weapons and hunter's garb are iconic, extremely stylish, original, and honestly just fucking dope as hell. You've got a hammer that explodes when it hits things, a giant pizza cutter, a katana you coat with your own blood to empower, a gunrapier and a gunspear, a giant... wagon wheel... because Miyazaki just really likes those I guess, a bow that is also a sword, a giant fucking ship's cannon you just carry around with you, a portable flamethrower, an... eyeball, that shoots space rocks, for some reason. Like the weapon design and selection alone is worthy of considerable accolade. Bloodborne is fantastic, play it if you can.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

I was a little bit kinda wishy washy on putting this on here, but I think overall that it deserves a spot. In terms of story and themes, it's honestly a bit whatever. It's Zelda. Don't be an asshole to your genius daughter who knows like ten times as much as you do about everything I guess. Prince Sidon is a nice fishman. Link is like, distressingly, "this is a kids game!!" hot when you put him in certain outfits. I'm pretty sure every configuration of sexuality interested in the act of boning probably at least went "hoo boy" when Link put on the gerudo outfit. That is, of course, not really enough to qualify for such a prestigious position as one of the best games of the decade. Where Breath of the Wild shines is its world design, music, and the masterful layer of melancholy it drapes everything in. The ruined land of Hyrule is beautiful and sad in equal measure, the vistas enhanced by a fantastic soundtrack with an incredibly rich personal voice. It takes a very certain kind of design philosophy, in my opinion, to create an open world that is actually meritorious and worthwhile and not just an excuse to spend a lot of time hoofing it through vast expanses of nothing interesting. There is enough raw Stuff in the land of Hyrule, from enemy encounters to happening upon NPCs to just finding something really weird and inexplicable that you feel compelled to check out, to justify the massive open world.

I think the enemy design in particular is worthy of some praise. The game gives you a whole lot of tools to tackle any given fight. Sometimes you can just whack something with your sword until either the enemy or the sword breaks and that will work fine. Other times, you can literally do the Tao Pai Pai thing from Dragonball and launch a treetrunk into the air, surf on it, and land it squarely in the face of some unsuspecting moblin. This is a very popular speedrun strat. The sheer amount of Weird Stuff you can do in the service of ultimately saving Hyrule is a lot of lot of LOT of fun, things not many other games would let you do. There's also something to be said for the moments where you're exploring, minding your own business, and find yourself face to face with something fearsome and big and dangerous, like a Lynel in the frozen north or one of the big cyclops guys. It's heartpounding and exciting and really hits that "oh hell yeah let's fuckin FIGHT" button. And fighting in Breath of the Wild is a hell of a lot of fun! Probably the most its been in any Zelda game. Skyward Sword please go away you're drunk this was never a good idea. To me, Breath of the Wild is kind of the platonic ideal of an open world fantasy fuck around game. That used to be Skyrim, but BotW sort of made me realize you can actually have a functional game on top of all the aforementioned Fucking Around, too, and that sort of enhances the experience.

This might be a little weird and personal and I apologize, but I think the one thing that really sealed this game as something very special and significant to me was the moment I entered the Rito village for the first time. I was greeted with an utterly gorgeous piano melody that gradually unfolded into a soulful, excruciatingly bittersweet arrangement of the Dragon Roost Isle theme from the Windwaker. I admit that I was not in a good place in my life when I was playing Breath of the Wild. I was still reeling from some bad brain stuff. Be that as it may, Breath of the Wild is the only game I have ever played - hell, the only piece of art I have experienced - that has brought me to tears with nothing more than a song. When I realized what I was listening to, when the memories of a time when I was still a child with hope and trust and innocence and any faith that life would ever be something more than cruelty and suffering came flooding back, I had to put down my switch, go lay down, and just ugly cry for a while. It's honestly making me a little misty-eyed just thinking about. It was such a personal, intimate, keening feeling of... I don't really know. Nostalgia? Longing? Melancholy? Now, believe me, I love to cry. I am a crybaby. Things make me cry all the time. But not like this. This was something else. Something I still don't really understand, or can explain. All I know is that if a game can do that to me with just a few notes, it deserves to be here.

Salt and Sanctuary:

This is probably the most niche game for me. Even people who share some of my more eclectic tastes and sensibilities didn't like this game that much, but there was just something about this Metroidvania mashed with a Soulslike that hit some very primal notes in my soul. The art style, a weird mix of cartoony and utterly deranged, the enemy design, the bizarre way the world is put together, some extremely creative boss battles, and above all, some masterfully done atmosphere dripping with poorly understood dread and a sense of complete disorientation combined to create an experience that seemed to be made for me, and possibly me alone. It's not a flawless game. The music is fine, but somewhat lacking in variety. The character progression system is a good deal more complicated than it needs to be by any stretch of the imagination, as is the weapon upgrade system. The difficulty curve is uneven, and the raw inscrutability of the whole enterprise can make progression difficult in ways that it never really was in Dark Souls and Demon's Souls, which at least had the courtesy to point you in the right direction from time to time. The ending is a bit on the weak side.

Even now it feels difficult to really like. Elucidate on why I like this game so much. Maybe it's because it was the heartfelt effort of an extremely small team with more passion than experience? Because it's so unique and bold in ways other games are not, even while being a self-admitted derivative of Souls games? I just don't know. It's just such a fun and plucky thing, even if parts of it are kind of bad. It's not like, Deadly Premonition or anything where the badness is also the primary attraction. It's like, overall a good game? I believe? It's just that if it wasn't also kind of weirdly flawed and broken in some ways I don't think I would like it as much. God, I don't know. Just. Play it if you get a chance and see if any of this makes sense. One of the weapons you can use is a giant ass ship anchor, which is just fantastic, and you can start out as a chef, complete with a goofy hat and an extra helping of salt. Salt is important. Gotta keep those electrolytes up. You can also put a pumpkin on your head, and there's a boss called the Tree of Men which is just this giant torture machine that hates you and everyone else. It's so weird! The lighting is so moody and unsettling! The Queen of Smiles doesn't have a jaw! You have to brand your ass with a metal iron to double jump! ...hand, not ass, to be fair. But ass would be pretty funny. And horrifying. If you join the Iron Ones religion your healing item is just bread. And that is a fucking mood.

Super Mario Galaxy 2:

This one barely makes the temporal cut, but it was 2010 when it came out, I'm pretty sure. As a Mario game that doesn't have paper in its name, it's also going to be a bit fluffier and lighter on actual substance than pretty much every other game here, and I don't have that much to say. It's just this gorgeously realized and scored platforming adventure that's so tightly tuned you could play Smoke on the Water on it. It is the still the best traditional jumpy wahoo boing boing Mario game I have ever played. It just makes you feel good about space, and going to space, and seeing all the wonderful things in space. Though there most likely are not charming little obstacle courses themed around bees and and toy trains in space, the various cosmic phenonmenon on display on the map screen and in the background of some galaxies are close enough to what you might expect to inspire a sense of wonder and awe. SMG2 is like the purest expression of Let's Just have a Good Time design in games I have ever seen. It induces good feelings. Not everything has to be deep and troubling and thought provoking. Like, I tend to prefer it when they are, but there's always rooms for exceptions like this. Just fantastic. And the music though holy shit. Honestly I think the only game on this list that doesn't have a fantastic OST is Salt and Sanctuary, but it's still like. Serviceable.

Darkest Dungeon:

Let me start off by saying that Darkest Dungeon doesn't always hit the mark with its central conceit of stress management and the importance of mental health in your small army of adventurers. Nobody is going to start screaming abuse at their comrades or start stabbing them to death in a fit of paranoia because a skeleton spilled some cheap champagne on them. That said, I think that it -tries- to address these things is admirable, even if it is fairly easily boiled down into a simple matter of resource management and cost/benefit analysis. The reason I like Darkest Dungeon so much is that it is a game that excels at emergent storytelling. In terms of actual plot progression and character development, there is very little. You can have a party of four Occultists, each with the exact same backstory and with the exact same pact to the exact same eldritch entity, killing the exact same boss several different times. If you want. The dungeon crawling primarily serves as a vehicle for two things: the first and most obvious, the primary gameplay experience where you command your brave or at least foolhardy group of heroes to engage the ancient horrors of Grandpa's Party House. By itself, this is compelling and demanding. A bit like Dark Souls, Darkest Dungeon is a game that is fairly exacting in what it expects out of you, and it will not let you make mistakes without slapping you on the wrist and saying "no, bad." Similarly, it is a game where mastery is rewarded, but both in somewhat lesser degrees because DD is much more random and capricious in nature. The difference between a new player and an old hand is obvious, but sometimes even veterans can get completely dicked over by things out of their control.

That leads us into the second purpose: having the Ancestor narrate your constant struggle against Murphy's Law while completely hilarious bullshit conspires to send all of your highly trained and well equipped adventurers to the grave. Let me tell you a tale. I was fighting the Countess, the extremely powerful and dangerous final boss of the Crimson Court DLC. Everybody was afflicted with some manner of madness, and things were looking grim. She had shuffled my party around into a formation wherein some of them couldn't act without switching places. I ordered my vestal to switch places with Dismas, my highwayman. Dismas, however, was currently under either "selfish" or "abusive" status and simply refused to move. This meant that my vestal could not actually act that turn, and simply doing nothing incurs a penalty of stress damage. This stress damage was enough to put her gauge to the maximum, give her a heart attack, and kill her. Dismas literally murdered the healer by being too much of an asshole. I was beside myself at the time, but make no mistake - it was fucking hysterical. I later fed him to the final boss as penance for his crimes.

Darkest Dungeon is a grindy game that takes time and effort to complete. This is one of the biggest complaints leveled at it, and it's a fair one. On normal mode, though, you are more than capable of going at it inch by bloody inch, throwing corpse after corpse at the eldritch monstrosities until they at last drown in the blood and give up. No matter how grievous the setback, you can come back from it, unless you're playing on stygian/blood moon mode, which adds a fairly strict time limit and a hard cap on how many hapless adventurers you can send into the meatgrinder before the Nameless Thing That Ends The World wakes up and gives you an auto-game over. It's designed to be a long, bloody slog where shit goes wrong. Hopefully, in the upcoming sequel which I am very much anticipating not being able to play because I am poor, Red Hook can perhaps find a better balance with this. I am, for my part, fairly forgiving of grindy games, and at times even enjoy them. They were going for something with the way they designed DD, and I respect that. If you have the proper mindset of "whatever will be, will be" and learn to embrace the senselessness of death, your adventures in the Darkplace Estate will be both rewarding and oftentimes absurdly funny because your Arbalest was too depressed to eat anything, took more stress damage from starving, and then died of a heart attack, which then further stressed out the rest of the party. If that sounds more "oh my god that's awful" than "hahahaha you fucking dipshits" to you, DD might not be up your alley. But if it is, it -really- is. It's sort of the Dwarf Fortress principle, though Darkest Dungeon is far more user friendly and nice to look at. ...you know if you payed him enough the narrator voice actor would probably do a dramatic reading of Boatmurdered. Just saying.

Stellaris:

Stellaris is kind of the odd spaceman out on this list for a variety of reasons, but it shares the same kind of compelling emergent storytelling that Darkest Dungeon has. It's just less likely to be about how your alcoholic bounty hunter missed every hit against a fishman and went insane, and more likely to be about how you found this really cool Orb in space but it was in another empire's territory so you basically fabricated Space World War 1 to take it for yourself. Maybe that was just me. Much like the many habitable planets in any given Stellaris game, Paradox's grand strategy space game falls in the Goldilocks Zone of "accessible for mortal minds" and "satisfyingly complex." I'm not a huge fan of most Paradox stuff because I don't really give much of a fuck about kings and their crusaders one way or the other, but I respect them for what they are. Stellaris was kind of a proof of concept for me for that - given subject matter I actually liked (space!!!!), the various nitty gritty systems of planetary management and fleet organization and robo-modding and gene templates became compelling rather than overwhelming. They were, granted, still pretty overwhelming at first. The game still receives robust free updates and DLC even as of this writing, sometimes drastically changing the way the game is played (alloys! consumer goods! aarrrggh!) and making my 500ish hours of playtime seem a little less nonsensical. Look, a lot of that time was idling on the galaxy map while I did something else.

It's just really polished and technically competent and -enormous- and there's space dragons and sometimes you get to fuck a black hole. Stellaris doesn't really have a narrative, per se, save what you ascribe to any given game, but that doesn't mean the game doesn't have writing. A lot of very interesting, well written, and sometimes really funny flavor text can be found in the various anomalies and in-game events your science vessels will encounter as they uncover more of the galaxy, or sometimes a planet will have a mysterious portal to Hell on it, or maybe it's actually just a huge egg for a terrifying voidspawn. The game also navigates the usual 4X/strategy game dilemma of securing an early lead and just kind of chilling for the rest of the game by introducing midgame and lategames crises. It's not a perfect fix, but the ever-looming threat of a khanate space uprising, an AI uprising either from your empire or another, or ravenous space bugs from beyond the cosmos ensures that you have to keep at least a little bit on your toes. The presence of spaceborne aliens that range from "a nuisance" to "well gosh that thing is actually eating that sun this could be problematic" also ensures that you need to pay attention to both military and domestic aspects of governing. Stellaris happens in real time (though you can thank god pause whenever you want to issue orders) so there isn't really a Civilization equivalent of "oh the tiny pissant nations are declaring war, time to buy seven tanks with my enormous hoard of gold and run over their medieval knights" in Stellaris. Stuff always takes time to make, and it takes time to get in position, too. Space being exceedingly vast, and all that.

The lategame can get simultaneously get very overwhelming and very boring, but there are systems put in place to help automate the process of ruling a huge interstellar empire and one of the nice things about Stellaris is that you can kind of just. Stop whenever you want. There are technically win conditions, if you're into that sort of thing, but a lot of the time I will just play it through until I'm like "hmm okay im good" and then just either start a new game as an extremely different kind of empire or play something else for a while. It's kind of nice. The idea of "winning" in these games is always so weird to me anyway. I kind of like the framework where it's just kind of like. You tell a story, rather than try to win a game. Recent changes have made it much easier to actually achieve victory, however. Part of the thing that kind of encouraged my "eh i'll stop when i wanna" approach in the first place was how unreasonable some of the old victory requirements were. Occupy sixty percent of the galaxy? Excuse me???? Fuck off. Also, it's not like. A really salient part of the game like it is for most other games on the list, but Stellaris actually does have a pretty nice soundtrack. It's much more ambient in nature and there's not really enough of it for the amount of Game there is, but what's there is nice, even if you will probably end up turning it off and listening to your own music instead eventually.

============================= =Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers= =============================

Alright so if you've like actually looked at my twitter or talked to me or to someone about me for more than two minutes, it's probably pretty obvious that I really like FFXIV. An unhealthy amount.  I will cop to that. FFXIV is an MMORPG. Let's start with the basics. I enjoy the game's gameplay a lot. I would not have put 6 years of my life into playing it if I did not, I'm not a Dota 2 player, for Christ's sake. I like to raid, and have actively done it in every wing except for the Sigmascape. I even managed to beat the final encounter of the current Edengate raids! I'm currently sort of gathering my courage to try the latest Ultimate Raid, the Epic of Alexander. Ultimate Raids are fights that are absurdly difficult by any reasonable standard and further winnow the playerbase from "hit level 80->does endgame stuff->does savage raiding->clears savage raid tiers->does Ultimate Raids->.00000001% of the player base that clears ultimate raids". Ultimates are for a very specific kind of player. I'm just sort of mentioning it for context purposes, it doesn't really factor in to my overall evaluation.

Now, despite the fact that I personally enjoy the gameplay a great deal, it is not actually why I think this game is so good. This might puzzle you. What else is there to an MMO? Is the sense of community especially great? Well, I would say that I really enjoy the community of people I play with, but on the whole, XIV's community is about. Standard, really. Which is to say "a fucking dumpsterfire" by any human metric, but just par for the course for online video games. What keeps me coming back to the game is that in between all the endgame stuff and grinding and crafting and going to die in Eureka, there is a bafflingly compelling and superlative singleplayer experience. The game is actually like unironically the best mainline FF title since at least XII. I would personally say it's on par with IX as a narrative experience, which is no faint praise because i fuckin luv me some ffix. But how can an MMO have such a compelling story? It's kind of complicated.

History lesson for the ten people who still don't know: FFXIV actually launched way back in like. 2011 or some shit and it was -arrestingly- bad. "Embarrassment to the franchise name" bad. So bad that they decided to literally drop a meteor on the game world, bring in a new director, shut the whole thing down for a year or so, and then relaunch the game as A Realm Reborn in mid 2013. People really liked this version. It was nothing short of a miracle. It also layed the groundwork for something important: a real and genuine dedication to worldbuilding (and worldending, too). The destruction and rebirth of the realm of Eorzea is metanarratively (theres my favorite non-word word again) baked into the very DNA of the game as it is now. Learning about the people who lived after the Calamity and how they survived is a direct parallel to how the dev team had to survive and adapt to make this complete boondoggle of a game into something presentable. A lot of heart and soul went into the bones of the world the game takes place in, because it's an expression of that dogged determination to make it work. Yoshida and his team probably crunched like hell to get it all done, and that makes me really sad, but what's done is done. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but it is, and all I can do at this point is praise the team's hard work and vision and try to support them as best I can.

So there's this really weighty sense of reality to the game world, and all of 2.0 is basically spent just establishing Eorzea and how it works. If you were an early adopter of ARR, like I was (2.1 is early right. it's gotta be.) then you grew to genuinely care about the place you spent so much time in and looked so pretty and was kind of obnoxiously laid out but don't worry there will be flying in the expansion. The longrunning nature of the game sort of necessitated a sort of serialized story. It had much more in common with an episodic TV Show than a usual Final Fantasy story, which for better or for worse are usually self-contained little things until somebody decides its fuckin Nova Crystalis time. It created a really unique sense of anticipation and participation in an ongoing story and evolving world. I think this is where a lot of people find their attachments to MMO style games, why people are still faithfully playing World of Warcraft 15 years on.

So FFXIV gets two expansions, Heavensward and Stormblood, and they were very Good, and added lots of neat things to the game and advanced the story and introduced new and beloved characters and also Zenos yae Galvus I guess and the long-running nature of it all started forging a kind of personal narrative of necessity, if that makes sense? Like, your own protagonist, who is mostly silent, who you created and customized and further customized and maybe turned into a lalafell once just to see what it was like to be so short, has been an important part of this world for so long your brain kind of just fills in the gaps in spite of itself. What would my character think about this? What would she do? Why would she do it? That kind of thing. The Warrior of Light, as one is called, has had a leading role in the game's story since pretty much day one, but one of the things that compels me about the character is how much work it took to get where she is today. Like, it's not a Diablo 3 style "hmm well you killed those zombies really good so i guess you're basically stronger than god and also satan put together" affair. You start out as a newbie adventurer, you do newbie adventurer things, like helping orange pickers keep the orchard clear of bees or deliver packages for guilds or whatever sufficiently adventuresome task needs doing. You gain notoriety for doing things that are, well, worthy of notoriety. You really get noticed when you defeat the primal Ifrit in a pitched battle, get recruited by some organizations, and you keep steadily working your way up from there.

As of Shadowbringers, the warrior of Darkness is kind of stronger than god and satan combined, but it took a fucking -lot- to get there. One base game and two expansions worth of life or death battles against utterly intractable foes and also Zenos yae Galvus I guess. It is beyond the scope of this piece to just give you a full plot summary of six years worth of storytelling, so I will just cut to the chase and try to explain what I'm taking five million words to say. Shadowbringers did something I thought heretofore impossible: it made me care about my tabula rasa cipher avatar as a character in a story and not just as an expression of digital self that I had grown fond of. Don't get me wrong - Dazzlyn Reed the adventurer is absolutely an expression of digital self that I have grown -disproportionately- fond of. I figure I'm a few more patch cycles from becoming that girl in the Jack Chick tract about Dungeons and Dragons who had a psychotic break because her DnD character died. However, for the most part, that affection was more of... kind of taking pride in her appearance and the outfits I put together and the achievements I had accomplished with her and stuff like that. Shadowbringers made me care about her as a character in her own right, which seems borderline miraculous to me.

It's sort of hard to explain without totally spoiling everything. And even with spoiling everything. In vague terms, I'll try to express it this way: the game put Dazzlyn in a situation where she had failed. Like, spectacularly. Everything she had done in the course of the expansion had gone up in smoke, and her own life was in real and severe danger. When you play these kinds of games, your first instinct when things go wrong in the story is pretty much always to just flippantly say to yourself "okay okay just calm down and let me fix it i'm like level a billion it's fiiiiine". Shadowbringers turns that on its head. You went to fix things... and you couldn't. Despite good intentions, it's arguable that you only made things worse. Everything you worked for since arriving on the First was just utterly undone, and the game lets you see the toll that has taken on your character. It's weirdly heartwrenching in a really uncommon and compelling way. Dazzlyn had been on the outside looking in at this kind of situation plenty of times before, and she had always had a nice and encouraging thing to say as she helped shoulder the burden and get things back on track for Alphinaud or Lyse or Cid or whoever. The game has, since antiquity, given you much appreciated little dialogue choices that don't really matter much in the scheme of things but let you kind of carve out your own characterization, and the way Dazzlyn turned out was somebody who just really cared way too much about all of her dumb stupid impossible friends who kept fucking up.

One thing that longtime players of the game have complained about quite a bit over the years is that your NPC friends never seemed very. Like. Personally close to you, with a couple of exceptions like Alisae. Shadowbringers both fixes that by introducing the Trust system, which lets you take your Scion buddies into dungeons with you instead of other players, if you are so inclined, and sort of turns it back around to be a kind of poignant narrative point. After everything she had done for them, unconditionally and with a smile, none of the Scions could actually find a way to help Dazzlyn when she finally ended up being the one who needed it. And this -fucks them up-, emotionally. Like, bad. Alisae nearly has a crying fit over it in one of Shadowbringer's more affecting scenes. And just watching the whole thing unfold fucked me up, too. Like, I hadn't signed up for this. I was (relatively) safe in the knowledge that they would not have the gall to actually kill off the player character in an ongoing MMO, but it wasn't necessarily the fear of something happening to her that was getting to me. It was more just this feeling of "god, she deserves better. this isn't fair." The emotional pain that, well, everybody involved is going through is extremely real, even if the threat of genuine death is not. I know (mostly) (please god) that Dazzlyn is going to be okay, but she doesn't. Her friends certainly don't. And even when she does miraculously pull through, it's not like all of this grief and fear and anxiety is going to just vanish like it never happened.

I really have to stress how completely and catastrophically wrong this could have gone if the writers responsible weren't sufficiently skilled. I'm pretty sure if I idly suggested a BFA era World of Warcraft storyline like this to somebody who still plays they would have an apoplectic fit. It would have been so easy for this kind of exercise to ascribe character traits and emotions to a very personal interpretation of the Warrior of Light that they would never have, for any one person's vision of them. The FFXIV writing team avoided this issue entirely, probably because they knew if they didn't people would go ape, by focusing the brunt of the expressed distress on your friends and just leaving you yourself some time to take in the enormity of how badly things have gone wrong in customary silence. A subdued facial expression here, a dialogue option there. No more than strictly necessary. The game encourages you to draw your own conclusions about what your Warrior is feeling, how they're coping, if they even have any hope left, but it does not overstep its bounds and do it for you. It's just... really masterfully done. The overall arc of Shadowbringers can be described as "intriguing, well realized, and competently done." The overarching ideas presented aren't like, groundbreaking or anything. What is groundbreaking, at least to me, is this miraculous giving of life to a character that was originally intended as as simple player avatar.

At the end of the day, everybody rallies around you, as they usually do, but it is markedly different this time. It isn't some facile repetition of the idea that the Warrior of Light/Darkness/Pants-theft is this focal point of hope given form and life to everyone. Instead, it's this... oddly touching expression of friendship. Commitment. It's all probably going to end in tragedy. There's nothing anybody can really do. But they're going to stay with you until the bitter end anyway, because they care about you. If nothing else, they can't bear to think of you dying alone and in agony. Even the citizens of the Crystarium, with whom you do not share a bond that goes back literal years, show up to give you some words of encouragement. They show up to tell you that it's okay that you failed. It's okay that you got hurt, it's okay that you're in pain, that you're scared, that you're vulnerable, that you don't know what to do. After spending such a long time in the game's lore as being kind of invincible and infallible except for the occasional matter of pesky Imperial Viceroys and Old Kung-fu Men, it's just... affecting. It's not often done in games, at least that I have played and seen.

Does this one story moment justify making Shadowbringers the game of the decade? Honestly? Kind of. To me, art has always been about emotional reaction. This kind of reaction is something special, even for a crybaby idiot bitch like me. Moments like these are what make or break truly fantastic experiences. Finally finding Vendrick in the Tomb as that haunting, off-key melody starts playing. Realizing the true nature of the Upper Cathedral Ward. Hearing a beautiful piece of music in Rito Village and thinking about what that song means to you. Admitting that you care about your Warrior of Darkness more than you thought. They're all quite different, running the gamut from existential despair, stomach turning fear, a deep and abiding nostalgia and longing for what used to be, to a sincere, melancholy affection for a game world I've been a part of for almost six years. There's one unbroken thread: a cascade of genuine emotion. Something that goes beyond the simple pressing of buttons and jolts of serotonin as the numbers go up or the bad guys die.

Fortunately for my general credibility, Shadowbringers is also just really good in general. Soken's soundtrack is, as always, kind of spooky in how high quality it is. The presentation is top notch as usual. Encounter design is probably the best its ever been in terms of balancing accessibility and challenge and having mechanics that actually Work As Intended and not nightmarish garbage like Digititis and Black Hole Walking. Royal Pentacle! Server ticks! Server ticks! Uh. Sorry. Going slightly feral there. Anyway. Overall, I think Shadowbringers is the most polished expansion so far, in all respects, and its narrative quality in particular is kind of transcendent because of what it accomplishes in regards to how players see themselves in relation to an unfolding story. Also, it has an unfair advantage, because it's also a continuation of Nier Automata now! That's two games of the decade in one! Now, due to the serial nature of it all, I will allow that if something goes... like, inconceivably, catastrophically wrong with 5.2 - 5.5 I might be a little premature in my assessment. That said, 5.1 was just as fantastic as 5.0 and I don't see a reason to assume that the quality will so drastically drop in the coming months.

If you're somebody who really likes Rankings, here is a pretty noncommital list of them going from least good to best good but they're all special damn it.

10. Super Mario Galaxy 2 9. Breath of the Wild 8. Stellaris 7. Darkest Dungeon 6. Salt and Sanctuary 5. Dark Souls 4. Nier Automata 3. Bloodborne 2. Dark Souls II 1. Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

And here's a couple of Honorable Mentions just because!

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

To be honest, this easily could have taken the place of like. Breath of the Wild or SMG2 if I was just a little bit more into Sekiro's aesthetic. It's easily the most technical and best-playing game that Miyazaki's team has put out so far, with a very simple to learn, difficult to master system of fighting based more around swordfighting than "shove large axe into monster butt" its predcessors liked so much. It also has a well-told story about a fairly down to earth conflict between an independent fiefdom and Japan's internal ministry trying to conquer it, with a splash of supernatural weirdness to give it some spice. There are monkeys with guns. Sekiro is just fantastically put together, and I really did end up loving Wolf as a main character, despite my initial misgivings about one of these games without a character creator. Wolf is kind of a lovable chuuni dipshit who tries his best in completely unreasonable circumstances and having him as an anchor lets Sekiro's story be more personal and self-contained in nature than the heady cosmological epics of the Souls games, which was a nice change of pace. Ultimately, though, I just find ineffably weird nature of the earlier titles to be a bit more interesting than shinobi and samurai, which is why Sekiro gets an honorable menchie and not a top spot. Don't get me wrong though shinobi and samurai are dope and Sekiro is not a -worse- game for their inclusion. It's just a matter of personal preference, and I could easily see this game taking a top spot on somebody else's list.

Pokemon X and Y

I am a Pokemon bitch. I play all of them, except for black/white 2 and ultra sun/moon, which seemed too similar to their predecessors to really justify spending my precious, jealously guarded money on them. I feel that in general, X and Y has overall, the best mix of available pokemon, world design, music, Fun Little Things, and general game flow of all of them. Sword and Shield excepted I am still in the middle of that one. Pokemon is absolutely kind of video game comfort food, and its kind of just. There's not a lot to it emotionally, though it does have some fairly in depth mechanics and shit if you want to look into it. I don't know I just really liked X and Y. I felt like it deserved mentioning.

Blade and Soul

This game is awful I'm pretty sure but I have so many fond memories of playing it with people I love and creating a ridiculous titty oil monster and having adventures with her sorry i'm trash

So there you have it. A very personal (sometimes maybe probably too personal) look at the ten games that I found to be the best that came out in the last ten years. Now, I usually consider my opinions on these things to be fairly well reasoned, but in this case, I did rely a lot more on the touchy feely qualitative things that are really important to me over the necessary but lamentable "yes i suppose this game is technically competent and plays extremely well" considerations a more objective list of this kind would entail. So you're free to disagree and think I'm stupid and wrong. I would prefer it if you did not think I was stupid, though, but the fact of the matter is I cannot stop you. Here's to another ten years of wonderful games that make us feel things.

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

A love/hate review of the Star Wars The Last Jedi and also the disappointment in corporate Disney trimming the extended universe away from the Star Wars. Just to be clear, I don’t stand with those toxic males of the web who attacked Daisy Ridley, Kelly Marie Tran and the rest of the cast/crew. The movie is a work of fiction and I above all other emotions value decency as the foundation of my views and beliefs (or at least I try to make that my foundation). I am gonna share my opinions/views as always, I am just a guy on the web with little power what Hollywood makes. If you agree with me, that's great! And if you don't, that's fine too.

Goodbye J. J. (Hate) My first complaint is the change of direction from the first movie. J.J. Abrams had managed to establish some worthwhile intrigue with the characters/plot like Rey's background, the hunt for Luke, and Finn's moral crisis. Seemingly the new director/writer decided to take a step away from these established storylines/characters to explore his own take on these things. Luke is no longer interested in the good fight and embraces apathy, Rey comes from nowhere/no one, and Finns short coma results in him having the same cowardly acts from the first movie instead of giving him personal growth after his heroics at Starkiller Base. It's like whiplash where you have had expectations of these story/plot threads being followed only to have them be ignored or to become completely unremarkable in the next film.

Rose & Paige Tico (Love) I admit there is a lot of things about this movie that rubbed me the wrong way but the addition of Rose was not one of them. The Star Wars has always suffered from a lack of female characters in the movies and they seem to be making some strides to balance out the gender scales. She provided a new character to focus on away from the Roguish Pilot and the Ex-Stormtrooper giving us the optimistic/loveable Mechanic that we could invest out feelings in (which reminded me of another sci-fi female mechanic who I wish I saw more on screen).

What upset me about Rose was the fact I wanted to know MORE about her backstory and her relationship with her sister, Paige. The geek in me would love to have some webisodes dedicated to their relationship (as well as other characters) and how they got into the rebellion in the first place but alas the story relegated her to a secondary plot line on a gambling planet that showed off rich people being assholes which was ultimately pointless to the storyline and failed to further the plot.

I look forward to seeing how they develop her in the next movie, considering so few people are left in the Rebellion... I mean Resistance. On a parting thought, I am still not sure about the Fin/Rose kiss they tried to apply to the movie... felt a little forced if you ask me.

Marvel Humor (Hate) There is a noticeable change to the formula of the Star Wars movies and we know this new formula very well. Disney has been enjoying the tidal wave of cash coming in from the MCU with movies like the Avengers, Ironman, Thor, Guardians of the Galaxy and so on which brings in billions (with a B) into the Magical Kingdom. Naturally, they think they struck gold (which they have) but now they are taking that Marvel Universe humor and projecting it into other franchises they own to try and milk money out of them.

This was on full display in Star Wars with the ‘prank call’ Poe used while talking to Hux. This universe enjoyed some banter in its previous movies but this very scene seemed foreign in the Star Wars Universe. As if Hux wouldn't have a laser cannon blow Poe right up. The movie continued to layer more and more MCU humor into the movie with Chewie eating the Porg in front of other horrified Porgs, Luke throwing a lightsaber nonchalantly over his shoulder, and tickling Rey with a piece of grass.

Granted there wasn't AS MUCH humor as you might see in Guardians or Ironman but they are starting to inject it into the films and in my opinion, it undermines the quality of the movie and the universe quite a bit by trying to make it something its not. This is why I enjoyed the grittier Rogue One so much that applied some humor with the android K-2SO but didn't allow shtick with other characters (which was good).

The point is their Gold Equation of humor connecting to the audience shouldn't be transplanted so easily from one franchise to the next, it robs the authenticity of Star Wars and what we know and love.

Vice Admiral Holdo (Love/Hate) Such a disappointing end to what could have been a good transfer of authority to a new female lead. I know we all mourn the death of Carrie Fisher and I appreciate the Luke and Lei scene at the end but the introduction of Holdo only to have her kamikaze the cruiser left me wondering why even make her a part of the movie? I mean really... her fight with Poe and his tactics could have carried into the next film, having her fill in as the new leader of the rebellion would have created a new strong female character and the very ‘heroic’ death she was given could have been done by Leia or Admiral Fucking Ackbar which would have been 10 times better then a random character added only to be killed off.

I blame this (like most things) on Director Rian Johnson who thought he was being clever but making the audience think "Oh she must be taking over for Leia!" only to kill her off as a sort of low-level plot twist. Frankly, it came off as less of a twist and instead of a pointless removal for an otherwise interesting character who could have moved onto the next movie.

Rey and Kylo Tag Team (Love) This might be hands down one of the best lightsaber fight scenes in the Star Wars Universe. If I am going to give the director any credit, it will be for giving us this gem of a scene where Kylo turns on his Master Snoke. This is the sort of action I crave to see in the Star Wars movies and making me wish (badly) that there was a Knight of the Old Republic film in the making. Hell, I just watched it again on Youtube just to remind myself how awesome it was.

Rey and Kylo Shipping (Hate) On the other hand with the whole force connection thing between Kylo and Rey, the idea of them being attracted to each other felt like a betrayal to well... Rey’s logic and mortality. Let us assume she has some attraction to Kylo would she have forgotten everything he did in the previous movie? Destruction of two villages on Jaku, slashing her new best friend in the back (Finn), stabbing her new father figure (Han) thru the chest, killing Lukes students, attempting to torture her for information and lastly being part of the First Order after shooting off Starkiller Base that destroyed 4 inhabited planets with billions (with a B) of lives on said planets? I know Rey might have temptations to the dark side but for fuck sake is she turned on by a literal genocidal maniac?

Rian Johnson & Disney Scaling Back the SWU (Hate) I realized this review is leaning more towards the Dark Side then the Light but I agree with some of the fanboys sentiment on the destruction of the Star Wars Universe. I am not sure if Rian is to blame 100%, I know Disney decided to cut all books, comics, and video games as NOT canon in the SWU but he seemed to have his hand in it with each rebel ship blown to pieces while escaping the Imperial... I mean First Order fleet.

This was hard for me to some degree, I played games like Knight of the Old Republic, The Force Unleashed, Jedi Academy, Shadows of the Empire, Republic Commando and read dozens of comics and books over the years. An yet because the franchise switched hands from Lucas to Disney and Disney had no hand in building all the extended universe they simply cut it away and said: “Nope! None of that counts”. I can understand why some people might get upset having invested time into exploring the Star Wars Universe only to have to evaporate before them like Thanos’s Infinity snap.

Rian drove this point home in the movie burning the Jedi texts (which contents weren't really important but symbolic of the Jedi Philosophy no longer being part of Star Wars), decimating the Rebels (Resistance) to the point the remainder all fit onto the Millennium Falcon, and even killed off or sent away new additions that could have helped expand the new trilogy into something great. Porg Plushies (Hate) *Sigh* I don’t like adding another hate to the list but few things in this movie made me personally feel good about it. We killed off interesting characters (Phasma and Holdo), had pointless side plots on Canto Bight (the Gambling Planet) and the scaling back of a great extended universe. An then we had the addition of Porgs...

I don’t dislike the concept of the Porgs, in fact, these puffin/otter hybrids are kinda cute. I dislike them as they seemed to have the pretty clear purpose of moving merchandise. Now, this isn't new for Star Wars if you know cinema you know that Lucas was highly protective of his own toy sales which is how Spaceballs was able to parody Star Wars so much as long as they didn't sell their own toys. They use the word Toyetic for this very thing of making a character or thing so they can move product off the shelves. Its why the Batmobile had so many changes with each passing movie in the 90′s.

The Porgs are no different, they maxed out the BB8 toy sales from the last movie and introduced an animal to sell plushies, slippers, bobbleheads and backpacks for kids and geeky adults. I am honestly not a fan of this sort of capitalism being pushed off thru movies but there it is and I am sure when episode 9 comes out there will be something new for them to sell us.

DJ (Love) Despite there being literally no good reason for DJ (Benicio del Toro) being in this movie with the pointless side quest on Canto Bight. This character might have some potential for future movies. We certainly explored the good smuggler scoundrel with Han Solo and Lando Calrissian but never explored the bad smuggler element quite yet (save some in the Solo movie).

I particularly liked the whole part with him explaining the manufacturing of weapons for both the First Order and the Resistance. It was perhaps one of the most insightful moments in the movie that could have easily reflected back on our own failings in regards to war. Just like how Canto Bight reminds us that the scum of the Galaxy don't just reside at the bottom but also the top. I hope to see him again but I am not sure how they will explore him in the next plot.

Super Leia (Hate) Lord knows when Leia became adept in the force that she could survive in outer space let alone fly around like Superman! This scene seemed crafted for the trailers making everyone believe this would be the way to double down on the ‘Evil Kylo’ angle and writing Carrie Fisher out of the Star Wars Universe but instead she survives as another pointless twist just like Holdo being the one to ram the ship into The Supremecy or DJ betraying Finn and Rose for money.

Just reminder if you're in space; your air escapes your body (including your butt), the saliva in your mouth begins to boil, air is cut off to your brain, and all the blood vessels on the surface of your body would break. I am glad she didn't die and had another scene with Luke but due to poor writing and trailer bait, they decided to keep this horrible scene in the movie.

Shallowing (Hate) Beyond the new additions (Holdo, DJ, Rose), the reoccurring characters become shallow in their roles. As I said, Luke now doesn't give a shit despite having 30+ years to mature, Hux is reduced to a punching bag for Kylo, Kylo is still emo as ever, Rey is becoming a Mary Sue (or perhaps not with her floundering romance with a mass murder), Finn had the same "coward, not coward" story arc from the first film, Phasma disappointingly is defeated by FN 2178 a second time, Poe is now a one dimensional reckless flyboy, and Leia is secretly Kryptonian. Point is there is no meaningful personal conflict with the characters, not enough time spent with the new ones, and a few of their portrayal betray canon for either a laugh or just because they simply didn't care.

Conclusion The point is, I liked the Kylo/Rey lightsaber battle against the Bodyguards, I enjoyed the battles in space, the silent ramming of the Raddus at light speed into The Supremacy and I still loved the new character (Rose). Most of the problems in this film start not from the characters but from Disney scaling back the universe and the new Director who changed the narrative. It bothers me just a little that everyone is celebrating the film despite these major flaws and aren't more pissed off those decades of content has just been expelled from the Star Wars Universe in exchange for the new “Disney Star Wars Universe" we will be forced to live with. About the only thing that is safe is Chewie and thats because the Wookie doesnt age like actors do. Thanks for the read.

Regards Michael California

[logh-icebergs]

Episode 15: The Battle of Amlitzer Starzone

October 10-15, 796/487. To the surprise of absolutely no one with any common sense, Reinhard’s admirals make quick work of several of the Alliance fleets, killing a bunch of redshirt admirals in the process. Unable to swallow the humiliation of withdrawal, Lazzll orders the remaining forces to gather in the Amlitzer starzone, where with their powers combined they can...I dunno, kill slightly more people on their way to defeat I guess. Any lingering dreams of a miraculous turning of the tides are crushed when Kircheis uses the newfangled technology of directional Seffle particles to destroy a minefield and bring his fleet of 30,000 ships to the battle as reinforcements.

Poplan!

Olivier Poplan showed up way back in “My Conquest” in the role of a rather dopey comic relief character, one of the tools the movie used to show us a variety of perspectives on the ongoing battles. We’ve glimpsed him once or twice since, but in this episode for the first time we get to focus on him a bit more; and the first thing that the OVA wants us to know about Poplan is that he’ll take any opportunity, even the twenty seconds before his Spartanian fighter is about to launch into battle, to flirt with a cute girl:

To be fair, she is indeed really cute…

There is a lot to say about this incredibly brief interaction. What Poplan actually says is “na, ii darou?” which translates most literally to “hey, isn’t it okay/good?” There are a couple factors that make this incredibly vague phrase feel like a flirtation or come-on: the way he leans toward her with a slight smile; the lowered voice. Her response reinforces this read by treating his actions as inappropriate to the current situation. (What she says is “komarimasu, tai-i, konna toki ni”—”that would be troublesome at a time like this, Lt.”) Is she reading him correctly? Could his question have actually just been about the progress of the repairs on his ship?

Well, yes, it could have been, but the accompanying body language and tone are flirty enough that at the very least there’s innuendo built into his words. Of course as she points out, this is a ridiculous time for him to be propositioning anyone; their interaction is immediately interrupted by an officer berating him for being the last plane out, Poplan takes off, and (spoiler!) we never see this woman again. What on earth, then, was the point of that twenty-second scene?

I’ve mentioned that Cazellnu plays an important role in the show by embodying some of the heteronormative structures of Alliance society: Not only does he himself have a picture-perfect wife and kids (we’ll see them soon I promise!), but we’ll also hear him explicitly voice views about the righteousness of marriage and procreation. Poplan plays a similar and complementary role, giving voice to another side of heteronormativity: the pressure for men to constantly pursue women as sexual conquests. His introduction in this scene emphasizes that sex is so constantly on his mind that he can’t resist flirting even as he flies into battle—and of course that very idea, of men as sex-obsessed and unable to control themselves around women in any situation, is another widespread norm. True to this introduction, Poplan discusses sex constantly: bragging about women he’s slept with in the past; teasing other characters about not sleeping with enough women; pontificating about the virtues of sleeping around (with women). This potentially puts characters who don’t relate to this sort of hypersexualized straight masculinity in somewhat uncomfortable situations.

There’s another angle to Poplan’s strange timing here: The fact that his ambiguous proposition is guaranteed not to go anywhere at the moment makes it entirely performative. In fact if you pay close attention to Poplan (and we will!), something around 95% of what we see involves performing or projecting heterosexuality rather than, well, actually enacting it. Obviously that doesn’t mean that the stuff he says is insincere or false, but ambiguity is always worth keeping an eye on in this show.

...and Konev!

No discussion of Poplan is complete without talking about Ivan Konev, the other star Spartanian pilot of Yang’s fleet and Poplan’s constant companion. When Poplan discovers that the firing sights on his Spartanian are misaligned, Konev covers for him to help get him back to the relative safety of the ship, leading to in my opinion the most intense scene of the whole episode.

We’ve seen Poplan and Konev deal with the stress of battle by treating it like a game: betting on the outcome back in “My Conquest,” and generally keeping up a running tally of their respective kills for bragging rights. But these are in fact life and death battles, not some video game; and faced with malfunctioning equipment that put his life and the lives of the rest of his squadron in heightened danger, Poplan’s fear and frustration come out as anger against the officer in charge of maintenance. It’s Konev who intervenes. 

Poplan’s expression and posture soften the moment Konev puts a hand on his shoulder. Just that one instant establishes Konev as a grounding presence and someone Poplan has a deep connection with.

The unguarded fear that flashes in Poplan’s eyes for just a second here gives me chills.

Shit has gotten serious, and Konev’s words don’t soften that reality; but his steady expression and touch quell Poplan’s rage and help him channel his emotions into renewed focus on the battle.

Interestingly, this exchange comes to us entirely courtesy of the anime team. In the novels it’s Schenkopp who pulls Poplan off of the other officer, in a much more abbreviated version of the same scene. (Poplan actually holds a grudge against Schenkopp for stopping him before he could more thoroughly teach the guy a lesson.) The anime writers made a specific choice to change and expand this scene to show us this different side of Poplan and Konev’s dynamic. Of course we’re not here to catalogue all of the slight deviations from the novels; but a change like this suggests to me that Poplan and Konev’s relationship is one they’re particularly interested in developing, so we should be paying attention.

War

This sentiment echoes Yang’s tea speech from episode 6; finding themselves in this battle, his main goal is to find a way for as many people to survive as possible.

Zooming out from Poplan and Konev’s struggles in their little corner of the fight, the overall battle seems to go exactly how Reinhard drew it up and exactly how Yang and some of the other Alliance commanders feared. Yang places himself on damage control duty as much as possible, knowing from the beginning that their whole fleet is at a huge disadvantage especially after Reinhard’s successful strategy to tax their supplies.

During the various scattered battles we get some fun peeks at the different fighting styles of Reinhard’s admirals, for example when Mittermeyer swoops so swiftly into the midst of an Alliance fleet that he actually has to back up a bit before they can effectively fire at the enemy ships...

...While meanwhile Kircheis just stands on the bridge of his extremely red flagship like the badass he is and calmly encourages any Alliance forces that come near to surrender.

After retreating to minimize losses against Kempf’s fleet, Yang finds himself facing Kircheis and outnumbered four to one; avoiding the temptation to surrender, he concocts some sort of plan involving a U-formation and trying to attack Kircheis’s forces from three sides at once, but since he’s ordered away to Amlitzer in the middle of that fight we’ll never know what the outcome of this tactic would have been. 

This gif is interesting for two reasons: one, everyone’s utter shock at Yang admitting out loud that if it weren’t for concern for the other remaining fleets he’d be tempted to surrender; and two, the ridiculous redraws that keep switching back and forth—Yang’s character design, as well as the entire background, change repeatedly in the course of these few seconds. What the hell.

The main point I want to make about this battle is, well, actually how uneventful it is. LoGH is about understanding cause and effect, inevitability, ways of thinking that lead to different outcomes. We’ve known for several episodes that the Alliance went into this invasion underprepared and for the wrong reasons, while Reinhard has carefully taken steps to weaken the Alliance forces and give himself even more of an upper hand. There are no shocking twists here: The invasion is a disaster, as it should have been, and Reinhard’s (and Oberstein’s) strategy is rewarded with a convincing victory.

Right, Bittenfeld, that's...pretty much what I said.

Stray Tidbits

This brief interaction between Reinhard and Oberstein near the end of the episode is a nice microcosm of the dynamic we’ve seen develop in previous episodes: Oberstein being kind of baffled by the concept of Reinhard fretting about one of his admirals more than the others. Hang in there Oberstein, maybe someday you’ll underst—nah, actually, probably not. Reinhard’s “damn you caught me” expression as he tries to claim he was “just checking” is too cute. 

Don’t worry Reinhard! Kircheis just has to gaze at Alliance commanders with those calm blue eyes and they surrender to his every whim, you know that.

If you’re watching on Hidive, I hate to say it but for once I’ve got to score one for the fansubs: As far as I can tell what Yang says here (after Frederica reminds him that Julian has told him to cut down on drinking) is just “so you two have joined forces?” (The verb is 連帯する, rentai suru, “to have solidarity/share responsibility.”) Cute (if a bit weird) as the Hidive version is, it's a definite stretch.

And while we're at it, here's the original laserdisc version, complete with random blue tube in the background.

Hidive subbers, I would read your fanfic but for the official translations let's stick to what they actually say...

Am I a terrible person if this gif just makes me laugh? 

[unpopularly-opinionated]

What is or isn’t a ‘Microtransaction’

Full disclosure, yes this is 100% in response to Gearbox CEO, Randy Pitchford’s tirade against Game Informer for their article on Borderlands 3 having microtransactions.

If you google the word “Microtransaction”, that is the definition you will see come up first-hand: “A very small financial transaction conducted online.” Now, it’s reasonable to say that this is the technical definition of what a microtransaction is. It is what, at the end of the day, is the definition of a microtransaction.

I know some people might take issue with using Urban Dictionary as a source of information, but since it is essentially crowd-sourced information and with most every day people not being in control of how updated our dictionaries gets, it’s as close to a daily-updated lexicon that we have; it’s essentially a dictionary for modern words, which the word microtransaction sort of is (Google marks it’s first appearance in 1961, however it is only after 1985 that it began to increase dramatically in usage, reaching it’s peak in 2003, and by ‘peak’ I mean 0.0000000814% of people used the word).

If you go on Urban Dictionary and look up microtransaction, you get these definitions:

“The cancer of modern gaming.”

“A pay-to-win or pay-to-play method that game companies use to make the consumer’s wallets burn.”

“Pay-to-win in gaming.”

The central themes throughout these three definitions are that microtransactions are “pay-to-win”, an aspect that is not included in the technical definition of what microtransactions are, and the general reaction to them is clearly a negative one.

It’s no surprise that the inherent reaction to microtransactions is a negative one because, and I fear that it’s almost not hyperbole for me to say this, we’ve been trained to view microtransactions as a negative. They have brought nothing good to the video games industry.

There’s the nefarious lootbox pseudo-gambling mechanics, sometimes including gameplay-enhancing benefits, sometimes including only cosmetic items but all with the same randomized concept of not knowing what you’re going to get on each attempt.

Or the in-game currency that comes in packages deliberately designed to make you have to pay for the more expensive packages in order to get enough of it to buy the items that you want, of which may include items that are only obtainable via purchase.

Or the direct-purchase items with outrageous price tags for what you’re getting in return, like for example, the red-dot sight in Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 that cost a whole $1, which in itself is designed to look like not that much money but when you consider what you’re getting in return it’s outrageously overpriced.

And even outside of the games themselves, they’ve done absolutely nothing to benefit the public image of a company, and have in general brought down the perception of many long-since praised companies like Bioware and Bethesda. Companies who used to have the respect, faith, and trust of many of us and who have now since lost all of it.

All of these different issues that microtransactions have brought up, along with the sensationalist gaming media, it’s no wonder the overall perception of microtransactions would be a negative one.

But I’m not here trying to convince you that microtransactions are bad, you already know that, I already know that, we all already know that. What this post is meant to be about is utilizing the technical definition, alongside the Urban Dictionary definitions or what I will refer to as the colloquial definitions, to ascertain what exactly we consider a microtransaction to be.

At face value, using the technical definition alone, it seems like an obvious question with an obvious answer: microtransactions are any purchases made through an online store, specifically an in-game store in this case.

I argue that this definition is far too broad and includes many different kinds of purchases that we don’t typically think of when we hear the word microtransaction used in relations to a video game. From the colloquial definitions, we can clearly get the idea that most people tend to consider microtransactions to be “pay-to-win” items and/or mechanics.

However, I also argue that that definition is far too narrow and doesn’t mention or include things like loot boxes, something that (by word-of-mouth) is the centerpiece of any discussion revolving around microtransactions, as they tend to be the most prominent and the most nefarious forms of microtransactions.

All of that being said, I bring in now the topic of Game Informer’s article on the microtransactions in Borderlands 3, and Randy Pitchford’s colorful response:

“Despite Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford’s comment about ‘no microtransactions’ in Borderlands 3 during today’s livestream, we’ve been told cosmetic items are still purchasable.” - Game Informer

Now, to be clear, at face value, nothing said here is wrong; this tweet is technically speaking true. However, going by the earlier definitions of microtransactions that I laid out above, it’s disingenuous, and that’s what makes it wrong.

I’ve spoken on numerous occasions about my opinions on Overwatch’s cosmetic-only loot boxes, of which I will not be getting into with this post, but an aspect of that I’d like to reiterate here: having purchasable cosmetics in a video game is not a bad thing.

It’s not what is immediately thought of when you hear the word “microtransaction”. Microtransaction, as the dirty and/or taboo word we view it as, brings up the idea of pay-to-win mechanics, lootboxes, and purchased in-game currency, not directly purchasable cosmetic-only items.

It’s important to keep in mind that, yes by technical definition alone, even directly purchasable cosmetic-only items are microtransactions, but so too are any purchasable content, including DLC. However, no one looks at DLC, especially not the kind typical for a Borderlands game, and considers it to be on the same level as Battlefront 2′s pay-to-win lootboxes, because that would be absurd.

This tweet and related article are essentially the equivalent to someone writing “My neighbor does a LOT of drugs” when their neighbor is a frail old woman who needs to take twenty different pills to stay alive. By technical definition, nothing said there is wrong, but it should be obvious why saying something like that would be wrong in that circumstance.

Yes, technically speaking, taking some Tylenol for my headache means I’m “doing drugs” but if someone came and told you that I was doing drugs, would your instinctual assumption be: “Oh, he’s probably just taking something harmless like Tylenol or DayQuil or whatever”? No, probably not. You would immediately assume ‘drugs’ means something akin to cocaine, meth, heroine, or the like.

The gist of what I am saying here is: context is important, and Randy Pitchford seems to agree with that sentiment, as was expressed by his reaction to Game Informer’s tweet and article. A lot of people criticize Pitchford for his reaction, saying he lied when said there would be no microtransactions, but it’s important to note two very important details here:

A) When Pitchford initially said that there would be no microtransactions, he clarified immediately after that there would be directly purchasable cosmetic items, as there were in Borderlands 2.

B) As expressed in earlier parts of this post, directly purchasable cosmetic items are not what is colloquially considered to be microtransactions.

Assuming they stick to their promises, something which I know seems unlikely in today’s video games industry but assuming they do and that there will be no microtransactions in Borderlands 3, we need to praise them for it. We need to praise the companies, big or small, that do not add in $1 red-dot sights, or lucrative gambling mechanics, or purchasable gameplay-enhancing benefits.

We need to emphasize to the video games industry that that is what we want from our video games. We can complain and complain and complain all we want to on our various internet forums, social medias, and articles, but clearly that isn’t working. So we need to show appreciation to the depressingly few companies who put out games that don’t give in to these disgusting “live-services” money-making schemes.

What I’m saying is, the next time you’re buying a video game, consider buying games like Borderlands 3 instead of Call of Duty: Black Ops 4, or Fallout 76, or Anthem, etc.

[h-i-raeth]

ALL THE #AESTHETICS

Well, you asked for it. (Full monster answer under the cut.)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

I’m… Not sure exactly. Me and my siblings do a lot of singing in general. The last time I sang was an attempt to get two of the babies to calm down  by repeatedly singing an approximation of “Teddy Bear Picnic” earlier today.

But to myself?

Definitely within the last week, either in the shower or during/following a session of negativity.

Edit: Since starting to fill this out, I have taken a shower, and sung Satisfied, How Far I’ll Go, and Love Like You.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Many things. Things that maybe it would be better not to know, but then again could anything be worse than the constant back and forth of uncertainty?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I like to think it hasn’t happened yet.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Playing naked or nearly naked in warm mud in a large puddle of our driveway in West Virginia, with a plastic slide I’m fairly certain we still know the whereabouts of being used as a mud slide, and mud completely covering myself and the three siblings who where alive at the time.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Probably. I see myself being even less concerned than I currently am about… Well, anything and everything. Doing a lot of writing, particularly messages for people to find following my death, and quite possibly planning my own funeral.

I’d just spend a lot more time doing things I enjoy and refusing to do things I don’t. And finding some way to gradually prepare anyone I care about for my imminent departure.

But also. Just. I guess I’d probably be more carefree? Secure in the fact that I’m going to die soon and not have to deal with anything here on this mortal plane and that it is inevitable and hopefully by a means which those I leave behind who I not only care about and love, but like, will not blame themselves for.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I have a vague idea of things I’d like to do before I die, assuming I live long enough to do them, though I haven’t taken the time to rank them.

The first three that come to mind are;

1) Take a road trip to visit everywhere I used to live and maybe say hi to the people I used to know.

2) Visit/participate in a Renaissance Festival, and/or other such immersive role-playing festivals/faires/activities

3) Become more comfortable with [my] life and living

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Well, since he’s in the room at the time of typing this…

My third-youngest brother and fifth-youngest sibling, who, if you didn’t count me, would have exactly the same number of older brothers and younger brothers and older sisters and younger sisters, is hyperactive and plays lots of video games and loves watching gaming videos on youtube, but he’ll beg you to play with him actively inside or outside if he thinks about it. He has blonde hair, and blue eyes, and is six years old. He looks cute, but as a big sister I’m obligated to think that.

He’s hyperactive. Intensely so.

He has trouble keeping his temper, and is simultaneously spoiled and lacking attention. He makes me anxious, with some of the sentiments he parrots and how he acts. Many of my siblings do.

He seems to think violence solves problems. He likes to violently declare he hates something, though if you’re patient with him about it he usually comes to like it. He likes to root for the villain, to seem cool.

He worries me.

Every once in a while he hugs you so tight and tells you he loves you and it makes you ache and I want to protect him and teach him and make sure he doesn’t end up like us in the end.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I’m still trying to figure that out.

I mean, I like it, I guess. I certainly wouldn’t change anything large about it, as far as I’ve been able to determine. But I don’t know exactly that it was happy, though I think I was happy. 

And I’m certain that it’s affected me deeply in conceivably negative ways.

And

Well

Other things

So…

Still trying to figure it out.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Yesterday.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

@clichenuance, definitely. He appreciates the stars and space, and I’m comfortable with him, and my sibling are all either hyperactive or grumpy, and I like hanging out with him, he’s dear to my heart, and he’s most likely to be able to actually identify/be able to point out asterisms and constellations, and… Well, et cetera. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

If they were the right sort of stranger, or I was feeling the right sort of reckless.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I’m not sure. Probably not too long ago, within the last few months, and probably a sibling or @clichenuance, depending on exact definitions.

My siblings are my world. @clichenuance is my best friend.

That doesn’t quite accurately describe what either of them are to me, but it’s the best I can do without getting disgustingly sappy.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

“I’m more at peace this way, honest, please don’t be sad, the one thing about dying that would upset me would be if you suffered from it…”

You can’t honestly expect me to pick just one.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

It tends to depend on the specific shade[s]. 

In general, I find them interesting less often than I find lighter eyes interesting, though that could be at least partly because the majority of the people I interact with positively have lighter eyes.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

After much agonizing and asking a friend for random numbers to narrow it down…

“Stories are the most important thing in the world. Without stories, we wouldn’t be human.” - Phillip Pullman

I can’t begin to stress exactly how much I believe in the power of stories.

How much I always have, since before I could read, even, and only growing as I learned how to read and write. Stories are the shape of the world, the lenses through which we interpret our experiences, how we share our thoughts and lives and precious moments.

I believe in stories as all-encompassing. As windows between worlds. As as real and true as anything we can consider “reality”, and in some ways more powerful.

Without stories, we wouldn’t be people. I believe that absolutely. What is consciousness, after all, but our minds telling us a story about the world and how we exist within it?

In every form, in so many ways, stories are important. At my very core, stories are important to me. They shape what I value.

I cannot live without my siblings because our stories are so intricately entwined that I could not imagine my story without theirs.

I value my friends, past and present and future, because of the stories we share and are sharing and will create together.

I look fondly on the places I have lived because of the stories that they are the setting for.

I participate in fandom because it allows me to interact with stories on another level.

I love theater because I love to be physically a part of telling a story, of a story itself.

I consume media for the stories it feeds me.

I write to share stories, to create them, to free them, to become them.

That is the significance of this quote to me. It’s what it means to me, what it has meant to me since I first read it, and what it will continue to mean to me if there is any justice in the world.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Contradictory Girl Stumbles Through Life In A Series Of Snapshots; Thinking Too Much But Never Coming To Any Definitive Conclusions

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Whatever my whims decided. I have little to no self control. 

Realistically I’d buy a house or several and fill it with interesting things and travel and give in to my whims and generally not worry until I burn out all the money, though I wouldn’t actively look to spend it, and definitely pay my favorite creators for their work.

I’d also provide basic and sometimes indulgent things to whatever family or friends I like, probably.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I don’t know.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dear Twelve Year Old Mess, Hello again.Things aren’t much different. We’re still definitely a mess. But we’re not as apathetic, and we’ve put in the effort to make friendships, though we aren’t maintaining all of them.In general, though, it’s better.Periods of bliss are shorter, but with improved self-awareness, and, so, sweeter, and less dangerous.Periods of negativity are more intense now, but an improvement over the extended periods of apathy, which come less frequently.We’re still trying to figure out how our life fits together. But in general we’re doing better. We’re actually working on it.Promise.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Punk appeals to me more, but in practice I guess I’d be considered more pastel? Maybe? I’m not really either though, I don’t put enough effort into my “style” for that. By which I mean most often except with rare exceptions I only put vague effort into my looks or others perceptions of me as me, if any effort at all.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I love them, in theory and generally in practice.

I just. The idea of modifying ones own body, as one pleases, for ones own pleasure. Yes. And they can be really cool.

Personally, I’m hoping to cover my skin in decorations that both are both aesthetically pleasing enough and mean something important enough to me that I not only want but need to permanently transcribe it to my body, but that’s just me.

In a wider sense, your body is your temple, please decorate it as you please.

1001/10, all the approval provided it isn’t monumentally bigoted or otherwise unacceptable.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

No, definitely not. Like, practically never. When one of my moms wants me to and they or one of their friends do it for me. Formal or extremely special occasions. When prompted/when somebody else does my make-up. When I’m performing in a play.

As for why…

Well, I don’t often care to. And when I’d like to on a whim my whim’s are sometimes dampened by the fact that I am not known as a person who wears make up, so if I did there might be assumptions or queries, and at the very least personal remarks, which makes me uncomfortable.

Still, if I actually knew how to do make-up, I’d like to think I might anyway.

Which brings me to…

I don’t know how to, and I haven’t much means to. And I don’t care consistently enough to put in the effort to learn to. And it’s my personal belief that, if I were to go to the effort to put on make-up, I might as well go bold with it or not at all. It seems a silly thing for me, personally, to go to effort for a look that is subtle or simply light. And I can not achieve any look I would want to put effort into on my own, and I’m not really comfortable asking anybody to help me.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Er… “Sound the Bugle” from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron has become one of my go-to calm down/get out of a negative spell songs. Amongst others, several of which are from Steven Universe. That counts, right?

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

“Please get your act together.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

A country concert with my grandfather

At least one concert I can’t rightly remember, with my father or grandfather

A concert with an aunt and some cousins that was Rachel Platten, Christina Perri, and Colbie Caillat.

I liked them all well enough, but mostly they made me wish I’d gone with people I was more comfortable and casual with.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’d most like to receive a letter from one or more of three particular people I used to know, and I’d like it to tell me what they’re like now, how they used to think of me, if they still think of me, and, if they wanted to regain contact, how I might contact them. 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Technically, I do have a desk. I never hardly ever use it.

My “workspace” is my bedroom, generally.

Neither are neat. Technically, both are semi organized.

By which I mean papers are one place books are another and so on so that general categories each have their rather messy places.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Nestle into a nest of covers, with something to drink nearby ideally, do some idle task until I grow bored, or undeniably or pleasantly exhausted, turn on my side, put a pillow between my arm and my head, and contemplate pleasant situations until imagining turns to dreaming.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Everything and nothing. It’s complicated.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I’d dye it one or more fantastic colors because if I’m going to make an effort to alter how I look I may as well go bold, and I suppose I’d style it similarly boldly for the same reason, or else make it short enough to be convenient, or else keep it as is since it’s long enough to put up.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

I don’t think I currently know five people I’d want to go on an excursion with all together.

I suppose if I had to…

two of the people I used to know in Maine, one particular person I used to know in Chickasha, Oklahoma, and two of the people I know now.

As for where to go…

Well, I haven’t the foggiest, beyond something exciting so that we’d have something to talk about. Perhaps a large Fair? I don’t know.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1: I wish for none of my wishes to ever backfire on me and part of that must be for them to follow what I mean rather than what I say.

(To cover my bases)

2: I wish for the power to manipulate reality when I specifically actively and consciously want to, how I specifically actively and consciously want to, going by what I mean and not what I think, and with foresight that is even better than hindsight and the ability to reverse any changes I make.

(This is a cheat wish and I am now a god with much more responsibility than by rights I should ever be allowed. And I can materialize candy whenever I want to and don’t have to worry about my teeth.)

3: I wish for common sense and some level of impulse control to keep myself in check.

(Take a guess.)

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Uh… None of the costumes I’ve ever put together have been spectacular, but I’m least embarrassed by the Headless Horseman “costume” I put together when I lived in Oklahoma.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I have never to my knowledge been drunk or high, though I’ve been tempted.

It would be an extraordinarily bad idea and monumentally stupid thing for me to do to give in to that temptation, knowing what I do about myself and my family history.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Allow my siblings or my pets or anyone else I love to come to harm.

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Only one song. As much as I dislike people in the general, the few I do like I cannot live without, and they number more than one. And I have the remarkable gift of being able to consume a piece of media I love an infinite number of times without tiring of it. So I shall suffer through only listening to one song, though please don’t ask me to pick which.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

I don’t know. I think about it sometimes, but I don’t really trust my own perceptions [about myself] / [about anything] and I prefer to err on the side of caution.

I like to think it’d be a moment of certainty following a glance at someone, but it seems like maybe it’s more split-seconds of certainty followed by hours of convincing myself I’ve only convinced myself I feel that way, with periods of being able to deny a feeling and of being unable to deny a feeling and wondering whether to half hope that that feeling means what it might or to hope it doesn’t mean what it might at all.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I don’t know. Would I be willing to chop off all of my hair off in whatever style? Absolutely. Could I “rock” really short hair? No idea. Probably not, though I’d love to.

If someone wants to tell me if I think I could or not that’d be great Almost none of you know what I look like and it’s definitely probably going to stay that way.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Hot Chocolate, because I don’t like coffee and it’s simplest and go-to, though I don’t really go to starbucks at all, so.

I would trust… uh… Well, not my siblings, at least not all the time. Especially not on April Fools day, because I have a sister who currently owes me a foul drink sometime in my future.

In general, though, I suppose I’d trust anyone who took me to a place to order for me if I trust them enough to willingly go to somewhere where there’d be ordering and I didn’t suspect them of pranking desire/chance of intentionally messing it up.

Just. If you pass inspection, and you know something of my dislikes and the place we’re at, I’ll let you order for me and we’ll avoid the hour and a half of me agonizing over the options.

In specifics, @clichenuance is free to order anything for me any time he likes/if it ever becomes necessary.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Ask again later, maybe?

Woo, it’s done! Took me all day, but.

Thanks for that. Though it was a bit of a pain, it was also a pleasure.

Not that that’s particularly surprising for me.

[hermanwatts]

Sensor Sweep: Tim Truman, Mort Kunstler, World’s End, DICE Awards

Comic Books (DMR Books): Timothy Truman grew up in small-town West Virginia. spending his childhood reading comics and Conan paperbacks. One of his favorite comics writers was–and remains–Gardner F. Fox. Little did he know at the time, but someday Tim would illustrate the last sword-and-sorcery tale that Gar Fox ever wrote and relaunch Hawkman—a character created by Fox—to critical acclaim.

  Lovecraft (Akratic Wizardry): H. P. Lovecraft (in a letter to J. Vernon Shea, 1934): “I didn’t slop over in youthful romance, since I didn’t believe — and still don’t — in the existence of sentimental ‘love’ as a definite, powerful, or persistent human emotion.

  Comic Books (Paint Monk): How I missed reading Conan the Barbarian #115 when it was on the newsstand is beyond me. It is a fantastic issue, full of references to the last 114 issues, and a fitting swan song for Roy Thomas’ departure from the title for the next 125 monthly installments. It’s also interesting to note that Conan the Barbarian #115 marks Conan’s 10th Anniversary as a Marvel Comics licensed property. To a lesser but by no means insignificant extent, this means the scribes here at Paint Monk’s Library have reviewed a decade worth of Conan comics in less than a year and a half.

  �� Science Fiction (Tellers of Weird Tales): Ruthless, predatory–they arrive. They will make of their new empire a purely material thing, made and engineered for their own benefit and for the ruination of everyone who is not they. But then all of their very finest plans are ruined when they are laid low “by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth.” I have been writing about the late H.G. Wells. Those quoted words are from the early version of himself when he might have put prayer and belief into his work with far less squeamishness.

    Gaming (Geeky Nerf Herder): The winners of the DICE awards, honouring and celebrating the best video games from 2019, have been announced by the Academy Of Interactive Arts And Sciences. Since 1996, the DICE Awards (a backronym for Design Innovate Communicate Entertain) have recognized games, individuals and development teams that have contributed to the advancement of the worldwide entertainment software industry.

    Art (Michael May): But it raises the question: where did such ridiculous armor come from? Whether it is Sonja’s steel attire drawn by Frank Thorne or the equally common fur version for less divine opponents painted by Frank Frazetta? The fur and steel bikini is our second sword-and-sorcery cliché and it has its own history, of course.

    Horror (Porpor Books): Well, here we go with another ‘reviews’ special from UK author Justin Marriott, compiled from the pages of his bookzine of the same name (which is up to issue No. 8, as of 2019). In his Introduction, Marriott states that the 130 reviews in this Special cover the time interval from 1918 – 1998 and use a maximum five-star rating system.

    D&D (Bxblack Razor): This post might ruffle some feathers. I’m okay with that. Once upon a time, someone wrote (in reference to Dungeons & Dragons): We don’t explore character; we explore dungeons. And that is as apt a way of describing B/X-style play as I’ve seen, at least in relation to (most) post-1980s gaming. As I’ve described before, the character in B/X is simply one’s avatar for exploration; it is the vehicle used to facilitate play.

    Warhammer (Track of Words): With literally hundreds of Black Library books, short stories and audio dramas available, and new stories being released every week, it can be hard to know where to start, whether you’re brand new to Warhammer or you want to find out more about certain series, factions or characters. That’s where my series of Where to Start With Black Library articles comes in, as I try to demystify the process of getting into Warhammer fiction, suggesting some great stories that you could start with and talking about why they would make good entry points.

    Art (Pulp Fiction Reviews): Künstler began his career in the 1950s as a freelance artist, illustrating paperback book covers and men’s adventure magazines. In 1965 he was commissioned by National Geographic to create what became his first historic painting. He also created posters for movies such as The Poseidon Adventure and The Taking of Pelham One Two Three. And by the 1970s he was painting covers for Newsweek, Reader’s Digest, and other magazines, with the bulk of his work during that period in advertising art.”

    RPG (Victorious RPG): A discussion with a couple of friends of mine (Hi DM Jim and J. Spahn!) has got me to thinking about RPG rules, especially rules that cover a genre specific game like Victorious. There’s a long-running debate as to what is best practice in making a RPG that will be enjoyed by a majority of people. First, there’s the “Uniformity” argument. This was highlighted during the D&D 3rd edition era of the 2000s, but hasn’t gone away. This argument states that a uniform set of rules like D20, GURPS, Savage Worlds, etc. are good because if you know one set of rules you can go to different games that use most of those rules and start playing with a minimum of a learning curve.

    Science Fiction (Brinks Chaos Theory): That was not the case with William Gibson’s classic pillar of cyberpunk, Neuromancer. I read this book about 10 years ago and really enjoyed. Although recently, I couldn’t really remember much about it. I remembered the principal characters, and that the AIs (artificial intelligences) were these huge, mythic beings (not physically huge, but mythically huge), and I remembered that there were Rastafarians in space.

    Fiction (DMR Books): February 15th marks 137 years since the birth of Sax Rohmer. Later this year, his most influential and notorious character, the insidious Dr. Fu Manchu will mark 108 years since his first appearance in print. Born Arthur Henry Ward in Birmingham, England; he adopted the bizarre pseudonym of Sax Rohmer to reflect his fascination with the occult and what was then considered the mysterious East. Rohmer was a prolific, if sometimes formulaic, writer of bestselling thrillers who consistently delivered the goods right up to his ironic death of Asiatic flu in 1959.

    Fantasy Fiction (Sacnoth’s Scriptorium): My own take on the the respective roles of Christopher Tolkien and Guy Gavriel Kay in putting together the 1977 SILMARILLION is simple: I don’t know of any evidence that Kay wrote any of it. And I wd be surprised if he did. I think it far more likely that Kay helped in the sorting and sequencing of the manuscripts, that all-important stage of surveying just what materials existed for each chapter or associated work, after which Christopher wd have decided just which Ms he wd use as his text(s).

    Fantasy Fiction (Tentaclii): DMR has a new blog post, “When Klarkash-Ton Read The Book of Westmarch”, musing on precisely why Clark Ashton Smith was an early admirer of The Lord of the Rings, in those fallow decades before the book was properly understood by its early fans or was taken seriously by some perceptive critics. I can add a few useful dates and some historical context, which DMR lacks. For instance, in the year Smith died the reviewer Philip Toynbee in the Observer newspaper (6th August 1961, then a leading UK Sunday newspaper) was pleased to note of Tolkien’s works that… “today these books have passed into a merciful oblivion”.

    Publishing (Jon Mollison): By now the immediacy of the Barnes and Noble failed experiment of woke-casting classical literature has faded.  These non-troversies rise and fall so fast it can be hard to keep up, so let’s have a quick recap courtesy of Penguin Random House and Barnes and Noble: To kick off Black History Month, Penguin Random House and Barnes & Noble Fifth Avenue is partnering up to give twelve classic young adult novels new covers, known as “Diverse Editions.”

  RPG (Table Top Gaming News): I chat with Matt Finch about the concepts of Old School style roleplaying as well as Swords & Wizardry and the current Kickstarter, from Frog God Games, to produce a special boxed set for the system.

    Book Review (Everyday Should be Tuesday): It was an unexpected arrival, but book mail is always welcome at la casa de martes.  I started reading The Bard’s Blade in part due to comparisons to The Wheel of Time.  As it happens, I had just started a reread of The Eye of the World.  I am afraid The Bard’s Blade suffers in comparison.  And for other reasons.

    Appendix N (Appendix N Bookclub): Bunn Hoi and Jeff chat with Todd Bunn about Lin Carter’s “The Enchantress of World’s End”, flipping expectations, one-shot adventures, sphinxes, and introductory RPG systems!

          Science Fiction (M Porcius Blog  ) : Let’s pull a volume off the paperback anthology shelf of the MPorcius Library and read three SF stories by British authors that appear in editor Mike Ashley’s 1977 book The Best of British SF 2.  The Best of British SF 2 contains 14 stories over its 378 pages, and I have already read and blogged about two of them, Arthur C. Clarke’s 1971 “Transit of Earth,” and John Wyndham’s “The Emptiness of Space,” AKA “The Asteroids, 2194.”

  Sensor Sweep: Tim Truman, Mort Kunstler, World’s End, DICE Awards published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[lifeasarandomdudeknowsit-blog]

Entry #329 - Mission Complete!

Despite the pounding rain and howling winds that prevail the outside world, inside my apartment (and, more importantly, inside my brain), there is a strange, soothing calm. For, you see, as of a few minutes ago, I have finished going through my possessions.  I sort of went on a mad tear this morning, cleaning out six bins' worth of stuff, and this evening, I decided to just go for it and clear out the last three.  The only reason I managed to go through so many bins in one day is because none of them were what I deemed a few days ago to be “bad” boxes.  No mounds of paperwork. Not much in the way of nostalgia that stops me in its tracks.  Very few items I had to spend surprisingly lengthy amounts of time deciding whether to keep or give away.  It was much cleaner and much easier mentally than the past week or so has been.  Sure, I ended up with about seven boxes out of the nine that I'm keeping, but three (maybe four) are books, one is electronic doodads, two are VHS tapes and DVDs, and one...I cannot remember at this moment.  The point is that I've managed to shed approximate a third of my boxed possessions within the span of one week, and for me, that is unprecedented.

Every time I've moved to a new home, I've had to decide what exactly to keep and what to rid myself of, and before I began this project, I would end up keeping way more stuff than necessary simply because I didn't know what to do with it at the time.  And, of course, when I was getting down to the wire during my last two moves, instead of rationally going through my possessions and organizing them into logical collections inside each box, I would panic and throw all manner of random crap into boxes just so I would have everything packed before moving day began.  That is why I ended up with so many “bad” boxes; I never bothered to figure out what was in them, and every time I would attempt to go through one, I would realize what an awful job I had done keeping my possessions straight (or find something that brought back some painful memories) and just give up.  I suppose I've changed for the better, because I persevered through every “bad” box (and there were more than their fair share of them) to complete this project. It feels as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I finally know everything I own, and there is very little random crap now as opposed to last week.

I did allow myself two “relic” boxes, which contain items that have positive memories attached to them.  I figure I can allow myself a bit of sentimental items without going too far overboard.  Having only two boxes (as opposed to spreading out the items over probably close to ten boxes) means if I ever really want to go back and look at something I accomplished, I know exactly where to look, and it will only take me a few minutes as opposed to potentially taking hours to find something.  I've also cut down a lot on what I would consider sentimental.  A lot of items I thought might be important turned out to have little to no sentimental value to me.  After the first day, those items were significantly easier to part with, since I realized there wasn't much of a reason to keep piles of items I didn't really care about.  That in and of itself was as important a reason as any for me to work through this process.  I think I've gained some valuable insight into my life because of it.

Of course, having now gone through every box, I've realized that there is still one glaring omission that I can confirm is now no longer mine: my SNES is, as far as I can tell, gone.  This loss does sting quite a bit, since, even though I never really took advantage of it when I was a kid, I cannot deny the impact that the SNES had on me as a teenager and an adult.  While I don't necessarily have a large collection of SNES games (maybe ten, and all but one of those was purchased on eBay maybe a decade or so ago), I still would have liked to have a SNES in my possession.  It's the one big step in console evolution I am missing.  Sure, I can probably go pick one up online for $40 or so, but I don't really know if it's worth it at this point.  If I'm going to pick up another retro console, it's probably going to be a Retron 5.  Even though it is using emulation (and a controversial version of it at that), it's still potentially a much better way to get the most out of my old games than any single console.

Finally, I realized that, apparently, I have far more books than I had ever known.  Out of all the boxes I have brought back home with me, fully half of those boxes are specifically book boxes.  Heck, about one and a half of the boxes I went through tonight had just books.  Which means two things: I need to get at least one very large bookshelf (or a couple of small ones), and I'm likely going to have to go through all of them again to determine which books I REALLY want to keep.  I did let a decent chunk of books go to the donation box, but still, having five or six boxes just full of books makes one think about whether or not one really does need all of this reading material.  It's the same thought I have when I look at my video game collection: do I really need all of these games, or am I just keeping them for the sake of keeping them?  I think my next big project will be going through my books and video games to determine which items I want to keep because I know I'm going to play/read them some day and which items I'm keeping because they're things and I like owning lots of things.  The latter category will likely end up being items I either sell or donate. Which, really, gives me a greater sense of satisfaction than looking at shelves full of stuff and thinking to myself, “Man, I sure do have a lot of stuff I'll probably never get around to enjoying.”

I cannot stress how important of a process this was for me.  It's taught me a lot about myself, and it's helped me overcome what may very well have become borderline hoarding mentality.  There are still steps to be taken to further decrease my possessions, but this was a huge first step.  And it's the first step towards bigger and better changes.