#I think this has been a recent shift in how I am approaching life

[c0sm1c-c01nc1dence]

Red

✧ Pairing: Hunter x human!reader ✧

✧ Content/warnings: Soulmate AU, takes place during season 3, use of the word ‘damn’ once, the title is bland and I’m sorry, Hunter and the reader are both dorks, first post on here!! ✧

The “rules” for soulmates, as it were, were pretty straightforward. You see everything in the color of your soulmates eyes. Once you make eye contact with them you can see in full, proper colors. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Well, not for you, it wasn’t.

You, for the past sixteen or so years of your life, had been seeing nothing but red. Different shades, thank god, but red nonetheless. And to be frank, you were getting pretty damn fed up with it. The thing is that no one naturally has red eyes. And you would know; you’ve googled it maybe a thousand times already.

So you were fairly certain you didn’t have a soulmate, and this was all some cruel joke from the universe. But life marches on, so there’s no time to dwell on that, is there?

───── ───── ───── ─────

Another day at Gravesfield’s high school, bland as ever. At least until you caught a glance at your friend Luz. Rather, former friend. She’d been acting weird ever since she came back from that ‘reality check’ camp. And not standard Luz weird, no— she’d been avoiding you since then. Acting like she didn’t know you at all whenever you approached her, not to mention her sudden lack of interest in anything she used to like. The Good Witch Azura books, most notably.

So, needless to say, you were a bit surprised at her new look. Curly hair, a new scar over her eyebrow, and a general air of seasonal depression about her. Even though your recent interactions hadn’t gone so smoothly, you couldn’t help but ask. You were still allowed to care about her.

“Luz?” You called out from down the school hallway. She turned her head in your direction, and you could practically see the stars in her eyes when she saw you. She ran towards you, almost tackling you in a hug. Stumbling backwards, you hesitantly returned the gesture. “Good to see you too?” You awkwardly pat her back, unsure of what to do at the moment.

“Y/N, I am so glad to see you! Oh, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” She backed away and wiped a small tear from her eye.

“We saw each other yesterday, though?” You chuckled, still perplexed by this whole situation. “Seriously, what’s going on? You’re kinda acting like you just came back from war right now.” Her face fell slightly, but her smile quickly returned.

“Meet me at my house once school’s done, ok? I have… a lot to tell you.” You nodded, and watched her just walk away casually after that interaction.

“Cool. Good talk, I guess?”

───── ───── ───── ─────

“So, if I’m following,” You began, now in the Noceda family’s living room. “You didn’t go to summer camp, but instead spent several months in a fantasy world, and the Luz I’ve been interacting with is actually a shape-shifting basilisk.” You pointed to Vee, who nodded shyly. “And in this fantasy world you became a witch, made a bunch of new friends, and got a girlfriend.” You left out the details involving Belos and the Collector, deciding that you didn’t need to recap whatever nonsense was going on there.

“Yeah, actually. You’re handling this surprisingly well.” Luz noted.

“I think I’m still in shock, to be honest.” You laugh a bit in disbelief. You couldn’t begin to comprehend what she’d been through during those months, and you kind of didn’t want to. “So, more importantly, do I get to meet these new people?” You questioned, and her face brightened.

“Of course! They’re upstairs, so let me go get them and I’ll be right back.” You waited downstairs with Vee, exchanging basic small talk. She apologized for the whole ‘impersonating one of your few friends’ thing, which was nice of her. Eventually Luz came back, new friends and girlfriend following behind her.

“Alright! Everyone this is Y/N.” You gave a polite wave, quickly scanning over the group. “Y/N, this is Willow, Gus, Amity, and Hunter.” You got a proper look at all of them as she said their names, your eyes landing on the blond last. Wait a minute, blond?!

As it would turn out, when you made eye contact with Hunter you could suddenly see a lot more colors. He clearly noticed this as well, as a light blush was present on his cheeks and ears. You could feel some heat rise to your own face as well.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” Luz asked, noticing your stunned silence.

“I, uh…” you stumbled over your words like an idiot, still staring at him. Saving what little dignity you had left, your phone dinged from your pocket. Checking the notification, you gave an awkward smile and held it up to the group. “Oh! You know what, that’s my dad. He probably wants me home for dinner!” You put your phone back in your pocket, and began approaching the door. “I’ll see you guys later, okay, bye!”

You got the words out as quickly as you could, and bolted as soon as the door was open. You ran back to your house, face still flushed from embarrassment and being generally flustered, leaving a room full of witches (and one human) awfully confused.

“Hunter, what was that about?” Willow asked, as he still stared at the spot where you once were.

“Um- good question.”

───── ───── ───── ─────

Later that day, Hunter knocked on the door to Luz’s bedroom.

“Come in.” She said idly, distracted by whatever she had been playing on her Switch. He entered her room, hands anxiously fidgeting at his sides. There wasn’t a particularly easy way to say this, so he just bit the bullet.

“So, you know the whole thing with your soulmate, and how you’ll only see in their eye color until you make eye contact?”

“Yeah?” She encouraged, curiosity evident in her tone.

“Well, it’s possible that maybe, perhaps, Y/Nismysoulmate.”

“What?!” She immediately paused her game, and whipped around to face him. “Really?! Tell me everything!” She sat on the ground and patted the spot next to her, encouraging him to sit down. He did so, face red from having to explain the whole ordeal.

“There’s nothing to tell! I used to only see e/c, I looked at them, now I can see every color, and they— I always thought your hair was black, by the way— and they just ran away!” As Luz sat and processed this information, Hunter continued thinking out loud. “Did they not like me or something? Is it because I’m from the Boiling Isles?” He questioned, grabbing the pointed tips of his ears. Cutting his rambling short, Luz spoke up.

“No, I don’t think so. They were always interested in fantasy like I was. Maybe they were just a bit overwhelmed?” She suggested. He sighed.

“I guess that could have been it.” He said, though the anxiety was still clear on his face.

“Hey, how about I try to get them to come over this weekend? You guys can talk about it then.” He nodded, and watched her grab her phone to message you. Titan, he hoped she was right about this.

───── ───── ───── ─────

A few days had gone by since the whole incident with Hunter. You had been avoiding him since then, though you honestly weren’t sure why. If you had to, though, you’d say it was probably out of shock. I mean, you were convinced you didn’t have a soulmate for years. And now this incredibly good-looking boy comes in from another realm, and he’s supposedly perfect for you? It’s absurd!

Though it was also worry. How would a relationship between the two of you even work out? He’d have to go home eventually, and you probably couldn’t come with him. Maybe he wouldn’t even like you after the way you left the other day, and he’d reject you before you even had a chance. That’d put a quick and easy end to all this.

You’d been really sick of the color red these past couple days. You usually were, but now it was for an entirely different reason.

Though you couldn’t avoid your problems forever, despite your best efforts. Luz had invited you over for a board game night to celebrate the two of you reuniting. And, well… who were you to say no?

───── ───── ───── ─────

The day finally came, and it had been going relatively well so far. No one else seemed to know what had happened or why you left that first time you came over. Though you and Hunter had been carefully dancing around each other the whole time. It seemed neither of you were equipped to talk about your feelings at the moment. But were you really ever?

Eventually you saw him slip out the front door. With a sigh, you decided to finally face the problem. No use in stalling any more than you already have. After telling Luz that you were going outside for a moment, you stepped out and saw Hunter sitting on the steps leading to the front door. He turned around at the noise, and immediately turned back the other way when he saw it was you. Wordlessly, you sat down next to him. After a moment, he finally broke the silence.

“You look really nice.” You glanced at him, and saw the pink dusting his face. You smiled at the way his blush would spill out onto his ears.

“Thanks, but I’m not really wearing anything special.”

“I know,” He continued, finally meeting your eyes. “I just mean, like- you look nice. You’re really cute.”

“Oh.” You said, quite simply, now blushing a bit as well. You looked at the ground beneath you, pondering how exactly to go about this. “So, this whole ‘soulmate’ thing, huh?”

“Yeah.” Was all he managed. His hands toyed with his pants, still a bit nervous about this whole ordeal. Unable to find the words he wanted, Hunter just looked out at the surrounding neighborhood for a bit. Eventually, though, he said the one thing that was on his mind at the moment. “So… what do we do now?”

“Well, if I may suggest something scandalous?” His blush deepened at your words, but quickly faded as he watched you intertwine your hand with his own.

“Wow, and we’re not even married yet.” He joked. You put your free hand up defensively.

“I know, I know! What can I say, I like to live on the edge.” He laughed, and you silently basked in the sound. You set your eyes on the sky above you, a handful of stars already visible in the late evening’s light. Maybe red isn’t half bad after all.

[redroomreflections]

Before She Cheats...

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha cheats on reader

The Loud House Universe

w/c:1.6k (an AU to the AU )

You can't see her face when you walk through the door, your excited greeting hanging in the air as you shrug off your coat and kick off your shoes. Natasha remains silent when you call out to her, her body language stiff and unmoving as she sits curled on the couch.

"Hey, baby, I thought we could celebrate tonight!" You suggest, your voice brimming with enthusiasm. You don't wait for an answer as you drop all your belongings in the foyer. The familiar scent of fresh soap fills the room, and you notice the damp curls of her hair, evidence of a recent shower. “I officially put in my resignation for ADA. We can go ahead and get started on the move. Also, I will be accepting that job offer in the morning. Ohio it is for us.”

Still nothing. It’s fine she’s probably busy with Luke.

"Natasha?" You call again, hoping for a response, but the silence is deafening. The atmosphere in the room shifts, and your excitement wavers as you approach her cautiously. "Oh, you're in here with all the lights off," you observe with a chuckle. "It's giving Cara after a long day. How are you? I missed you." You lean in to kiss her lips, but she turns slightly, offering only her cheek in return.

Your smile falters as you pull back, your excitement dimming. "Is everything okay?" you ask, concern creeping into your voice. Natasha's gaze remains fixed ahead, her silence louder than any words. "Where are the kids? Did something happen?"

"No, um the kids are fine," She finally speaks. She looks into your eyes and all you see is pain. "I sent them to the compound for the weekend. "

"Oh, that's cool then," You nod. "Even Luke? He's so tiny. It will be his first time away. "

Natasha nods. She bites her lips nervously. Something you've never known Natasha to do.

"I felt we needed this time to talk about a few things," She began before shaking her head.

"Okay," You furrow your brows.

"We've been together for a while now. We've built a life together and our children and the Avengers and it's great. It really is. " Natasha begins a monologue that has you going from confused to afraid. "I love you."

"Natasha, I love you too," You grab a hold of her hand. You massage her skin soothingly. "What's wrong? Baby, tell me."

"I, um, there's no easy way to say this," Natasha takes a deep breath. "I was drunk. I was stupid. I slipped. It was just one time and..."

"What happened?" You interrupt her. You don't want to think where this is going. It's never been a thought in your head.

"I slept with someone else," She whispers. "It was a mistake. I know I can't take it back. I am sorry."

The blood drains from your face, and your heart sinks. You pull your hand back as if you've been burned.

"No," You shake your head. "No, no. You didn't do that. You're not stupid. You wouldn't throw away ten years of marriage like that."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," She pleads with you. "You have to believe me." She reaches for your hand."

"No," You shake your head. "Why would you do that? W-why?"

"It was a mistake, Y/N. I didn't think it would lead to anything. We were both drunk. It happened so fast." Natasha explains.

"So, you just forgot you're married." You questioned. "You just forgot you had a wife at home. What was she prettier than me? Was I working too late? Did she give you affection I didn't?" Your voice raised.

"No," Natasha denied.

"Then what is it?" You demanded.

"I wasn't thinking. I made a mistake. You have to believe me. It will never happen again."

"I have to believe you. No! You know what I believe. I believe you've been having an affair. And that you were just looking for a reason to leave. " You stand from the couch. "I know you. A one-time thing isn't you? You're an emotional person as much as you try not to be."

"I swear it's not like that. Please."

"No," you cut her off. "Just don't." You turn away from her. Tears blurring your vision.

"Please, I'm sorry," Natasha's voice cracks. She stands to come and get you to look at her.

"No," You turn around to push her away. "I said don't."

"I'm sorry. You can't imagine how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you. " She pleads.

"You never wanted to hurt me? That's such a fucking lie," You pushed her again. She allowed herself to move. "You throw away twelve years of a relationship for nothing? Please don't play with my intelligence. We just adopted another fucking baby. He's not even six months old and you mean to tell me you go and pull this?"

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"What is there to explain? You fucked someone else. What can you explain? You had an affair. You've been having an affair." You began to pace. It was either this or you would start swinging. Neither of you needed that.

"No, Y/N, that's not it. Please."

"How long? How long has this been going on?" You turned to her. "I want the truth."

"It was one time," Natasha reiterated.

"Who is she?"

"Y/N, I promise it's not like that," Natasha shook her head.

"Stop lying," You yelled. "Just stop. You fucked someone else. And I want to know who the fuck she is."

"You don't understand. We can get past this. You're my wife. We're married. I can't lose you."

"I don't understand," You huff. "How could you do this to us? Who is she?"

"Baby, please," Natasha pleads with you.

"Who is she, Natasha?" You demand.

"A woman from HR at Stark Industries," Natasha finally says. "She was a temp. We met a few times over legalities and my contract. Though I swear it was only one time. In her office."

"Her office?"

"We were having lunch and she was leaving and her door was open. And the next thing I knew we were kissing. And I was sitting on her desk and she was fucking me." Natasha continued.

"You can't be serious," You practically scream. Anything to keep from bursting into tears.

"Please," Natasha steps closer. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Let me fix this. Don't leave me. We have a family. You can't."

"Don't touch me." You raise a finger. "I'm liable to do anything right now I'm so pissed. I can't believe this."

"It will never happen again," Natasha promised.

"Yeah, but it already has," You remind her. "I-I-I can't breathe." You hold a hand to your chest. This is one of the most devastating things you've had to go through in your life. You wish you could go back to one hour ago. "I think I'm gonna throw up." You push past her. "I need to get out of here. I need some air."

"No, Y/N, please don't leave," Natasha begged. "Stay and let's talk about this."

"Fuck, you!" You yell.

"Let me make this better. Please, just give me a chance."

"I need to go."

"No," She grabbed your arm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" You shout. "Let me go. Let me go, now!"

"Baby, please,"

"No, just no," You yanked your arm away. You finally allowed the tears to fall. "How could you do this, Nat? How could you? What was it that wasn't enough for you? What wasn't I giving you that you had to go out and sleep with someone else?"

"I can't believe you would do this to us. We've been together ten years. We have kids. I can't even look at you."

"It was a mistake," She cried.

"Mistakes are forgetting your wallet. Mistakes are accidentally putting the car in reverse instead of drive. Mistakes are not throwing away the love of your life because you were drunk."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I am leaving for the weekend," You begin. "I will call my lawyer first thing Monday morning."

"What, no."

"I want a divorce," You announce. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your voice. I will be back for the kids and I will be filing for sole custody."

"Y/N, wait," She tried to follow.

"Do not follow me," You warned. "Do not try to call or text me. You stay the fuck away from me."

"You can't just take my kids away from me," She argues. "Divorce is crazy. We can work through this. I can work through this."

"Oh, trust me, I'll take everything. You've broken my heart. I'll make sure you feel that same pain. If not worse. Now stay the fuck away from me," You warn.

"You're not the vengeful type," Natasha protested. "I know this hurts but putting the kids through a custody battle?"

"You weren't the cheating type either but I guess we can still learn new things about each other," You begin to collect your things. "I want a divorce. I want full custody. And I want you as far away from me as possible."

"And if I won't give it to you," Natasha challenges.

"I will ruin you," You threaten. "I'll take your bank accounts. I'll take the kids. I'll make sure you can never work again. And I'll take all your friends. I will make sure no one will ever trust you again."

"What are you talking about? Y/N, come on."

"Don't you 'come on' me," You shake your head. "I hope she was worth it."

You leave the house, slamming the front door behind you. How could she do this?

---> next part

[winchesterwild78]

Always Protected

I’ve got requests- ignore them if you want, but I had to try.

If you could I’d like (all plus sized/curvy reader):

Beau Arlen- meets reader in town, takes her out, maybe dancing, I picture him to be super protective if someone says something to her about her size. LOVES him some thick girl

*This is for you 😁 I hope I bring your vision to life. Thank you for trusting me with a request!!*

Characters:Beau Arlen x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Language, insecurities, physical violence, Fluff,

A/N: This is my 2nd request and I’m so excited to write it. I wrote it fast so please forgive any mistakes. This does not follow The Big Sky story line. I’m working on these requests fast because I’m inspired. 😁

All work is my own, don’t take it!!

Minors DNI 18+

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

“Come on Beau, you’ve got to get some food. You’ve been here all night and all day. When was the last time you actually slept?” Jenny asked. “I think yesterday afternoon I fell asleep at my desk. Jenny I have to get this solved. It’s driving me crazy. I’m missing something I know I am.” He grunted as he stood. “Go get something to eat. It will help clear your head. Get it to go if you want to. Just please go. We need our sheriff in too shape.” She pleaded. “Okay Hoyt. I’m getting it to go. I’ll be back. Want anything?” He asked as he grabbed his jacket. “Nope. I’m good thanks” she smiled.

Beau got in his truck and drove into town. He had to park further away from the diner because it was lunch time. As he walked down the street greeting people he smelled something amazing. There in the once vacant shop was a new bakery. How did he not know a bakery was opening. The smell coming from inside was drawing him in. He pushed open the door.

You were busy with a customer when you heard the bell chime above the door. “Welcome in. Please take a look around and I’ll be right with you.” You said without looking at the person who came in. You finished with the customer you were helping and noticed a very tall man standing with his back to you. He was looking at the dessert case on the opposite wall. You came around the counter and approached him. “Hello. Welcome in is there anything you’re looking for specifically today” you asked him.

He turned around and oh lord this man was gorgeous. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green and wow was he beautiful. You swallowed hard and shifted a little bit. “Oh I was walking by and smelled something amazing coming from in here and had to stop by.” His voice was like smooth whiskey.

You smiled and said “oh it could be the pecan pie I have in the oven.”

Beau’s eyes went wide. “You have pecan pie too? I’m from Texas and we love our pecan pie.” Beau said. “Yep I sure do. It has to cool but I can save you some if you want.” You smiled. “Yes. That will be perfect. I’m going to grab some lunch and I’ll come back later if that’s okay.” He said.

“Yep. Sounds great. I’ll save you some” you smiled. He nodded and smiled and headed towards the door. He stopped and turned around looking at you again and smiled. You blushed and started helping the next customer.

Beau walked over to the diner with a smile on his face. He couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful you were. Your smile, your y/e/c eyes, your curvy body, and your kindness. He knew you were new in town and he wanted to know more about you.

He decided to eat at the diner and while he was there he chatted with some of the people there. “Hey Sheriff Arlen, how are you today” Ms Carol asked from behind the counter. “I’m good. How are you doing” he smiled. “I’m good honey. I’m thankful for Miss Y/N next door at the bakery. She’s been helping us out with our desserts recently. I can’t keep up with the desserts like I used to and she offered to help us out. She’s a sweet girl. She won’t take any money either. She just swings by for some lunch when she gets a chance.” She told Beau.

Beau smiled. Wow she really is sweet he thought. “That’s really nice Ms Carol. I’m glad you’ve got some help.” He said. The bell above the door rang and you walked in. “Hey Ms Carol. Here’s your pies and some cookies for Mr John. I hope he gets to feeling better.” You said as you handed her the food. “Oh Y/N you are such a sweetheart. Thank you and I know John will love these.” She hugged you.

You looked over and saw Beau sitting at the counter. You smiled at him and he smiled at you. He extended his hand “we didn’t get properly introduced, I’m Beau Arlen. I’m the temporary Sheriff here.” “Hello Mr Arlen, Sheriff, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to officially meet you. Well I need to get back. Don’t forget to come by and get your pie.” You smiled. “No ma’am I won’t forget.” He smiled.

You nodded and said goodbye and left. Ms Carol was watching and smiled at Beau. “Beau, you know she’s single, right? Maybe you two could go out to dinner or something fun. You both deserve it.” She winked. Beau smiled and nodded. “Maybe Ms Carol. Maybe.”

He got up, paid his tab and headed back towards your bakery. He walked in and the sweet smell of the shop filled his nose. The place smelled like home. His mother loved to bake and the smell was bringing back sweet memories of her. You were stocking the case when he came back in and you greeted him with a smile.

“Welcome back Sheriff. I have your pie right here.” You handed him a full pie. “Please call me Beau, and you didn’t have to save the whole pie. Thank you Y/N.” “It’s my pleasure, Beau. The sheriff deserves his own pie. Especially a Texas boy.” You smiled and winked. “How much do I owe you Y/N?” He pulled out his wallet. “Nothing. This one is on the house” you told him. “What?! No, I can’t let you do that. Please let me pay for it.” He pleaded. You stood firm and shook your head no.

Beau knew it was a losing battle. “Well, then let me take you out to dinner as a thank you.” He said. You stood there with your words caught in your throat. “What do you say Y/N? Let me take you out tonight” he said. “Okay sure. I close at 6 so let me go home and change and you can pick me up at 7:30 or I can meet you there.” You said. Beau moved closer to you “I’ll pick you up and it’s a date.”

You bit your lip and smiled. A date?!? This gorgeous man was asking you out?!?

The rest of the day flew by and it was time to lock up and head home. You got home and got in the shower. You had no idea where he was taking you so you wanted to dress comfortable but nice. You decided to wear a pair of your favorite jeans that hugged every curve of your body perfectly, a nice top that showed off your cleavage just enough and a pair of boots that had a little heel. You put on a little makeup and your hair was half up and half down.

You took a step back looking in the mirror. You always had problems with your body. You carried a little more weight than you should and you were curvy. Most of your clothes hid your body well. The outfit you picked did just that. You liked Beau. You were just worried if he could like you, curves and all.

There was a knock at your door. You took a deep breath and opened it to see Beau standing on your porch. He was dressed in a pair of jeans, a button down shirt and a pair of worn cowboy boots. The wind shifted and you smelled his cologne. It was heavenly. “Hello Beau. Come on in. I’m almost ready.” You stepped to the side. He walked in and sat on the couch.

You finished getting ready and as you walked into the living room he stood and stared. “You’re absolutely beautiful Y/N. Wow!” He said and you blushed. “Thank you, Beau. You look very handsome tonight.” You smiled.

He guided you outside by the small of your back and opened the truck door for you. You climbed in and smiled. He got in and started the truck. “So where are we going” you asked. “I’m taking you to a restaurant a town over. Great food and music.” He smiled. You nodded.

He reached his hand over and took yours. “Is this okay” he questioned. You smiled “more than okay.” The drive to the restaurant was good. The two of you talked about life and how both of you ended up in Montana. You thought it was sweet he moved there to be closer to his daughter.

When you arrived at the restaurant Beau got out and came around opening your door. He offered you his hand helping you out of the truck. As you got out you lost your balance and started to fall. Beau caught you and for a moment you thought he was going to kiss you. He didn’t and you were a little disappointed.

As the two of you walked into the restaurant hand in hand a group of drunk men came out. They took one look at you and Beau and started talking about your weight and one of them went so far as to moo at you. You tried to ignore it but they kept going.

Beau stopped walking. “What the hell is y’all’s problem” he seethed. “No problem at all. How do you fuck her? Slap the leg and ride the wave?” The taller man said. Beau let go of your hand and stepped in front of you and between you and the men.

“You need to shut your mouth and leave before I shut it for you.” Beau growled. “Beau, come on. Let’s go. It’s okay. Please” you begged him as tears pricked your eyes. He turned and looked at you. His face was angry but softened when he looked at you. “It’s not okay. Nobody should ever speak to you like that.” He said.

“Beau, I’m used to it. I just want to go inside.” You told him. He nodded and smiled. Beau put his hand at the small of your back and led you inside. The two of you sat down and ordered your food. While you were waiting on the food the two of you talked more and got to know each other better. The food came and a comfortable silence fell between you two.

You excused yourself and went to the restroom. You steadied your breath. Beau was amazing and you could see yourself falling for him. You were scared though. How could he be with someone like you, and would he want to. Screw it you thought. He asked you out so that’s something. Throw caution to the wind you thought.

On your way back to the table a man that had been at the bar stepped in front of you. “Where you off to in such a hurry there princess” his alcohol smelling breath engulfed you. “Excuse me. I’m heading back to my boyfriend.” You said as you nodded towards Beau. “That string bean is your boyfriend? Honey a big girl like you needs a real man.” He said as he grabbed your arm.

You screamed for him to get off you and this caught Beau’s attention. Before you could process what was happening Beau was by your side pulling you to safety. The man had about 2-3 inches on him but Beau stood his ground. “Keep your hands off the lady” he growled. “Oh come on man I’m just trying to show her what a big girl like her really needs” he said laughing. Beau stood in between you two now. “I said back off. Don’t make me tell you again.” Beau said.

The man grabbed your arm again and pulled you hard causing you to yelp in pain. Beau knocked the guy flat on his ass and pulled you into his arms. “Are you okay darlin” he asked. Tears were streaming down your face and you shook your head no.

Beau paid the tab and helped you outside. You climbed in the truck and he held you as you cried. “I’m sorry Beau. I’m sorry you had to defend me because of my size. I’m sorry the man grabbed me. I understand if you don’t want to see me again.” You sobbed.

“Oh sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry for. That man was a jackass and he had no right talking to you like that or putting his hands on you. I love the way you look. You’re so beautiful to me. I’m sorry people don’t see how beautiful you are. Inside and out.” Beau wiped away the tears from your face.

He leaned over and kissed your lips softly. When he pulled away he looked at you. “Was that okay” he asked. “More than okay, Beau. It was amazing.” You whispered. “Good because I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you this morning and if you’re okay with it I’m going to do it again.” You smiled and nodded.

This time the kiss was deeper and passionate. Oh the way he kissed you set your soul on fire. He started the truck to drive home and he held your hand again. You knew Beau Arlen was going to be one of the best things in your life. You knew he was going to protect you, defend you and love you. You knew with him your heart would always be protected.

Tags: @nescaveckdaily @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373 @cheynovak @jassackles @chriszgirl92 @suckitands33 @arcannaa @n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 @manicjk

[radical-revolution]

Lately, I have been thinking a good deal about our thinking.

Most of us believe that our thinking is an accurate reflection of our history, our environment and our experience. Therefore, when we have a thought, we value it as truth.

The truth is, thinking is something our minds do, it is not who we are. Most of us don’t actually think about our thinking; we just assume it is accurate and let our thoughts guide our lives. Well, the real truth is that emotions, other thoughts, amount of sleep, stress or well-being, and dozens of other factors influence our thoughts.

Some days I ride to work thinking about how lucky I am to have pretty good skills at my chosen career. Other days I ride to work thinking that I am a fraud who has yet to be discovered. Think about that; it is the same person driving the same route thinking about the same career and yet having opposite thoughts.

Our thoughts are so malleable, and yet they often determine whether we are happy, depressed, anxious or peaceful. One day when my father was living, he told me that some days he was so depressed he was ready to leave this Earth. When I asked him what was so painful about those days, he said: “Those are the days when I am thinking about the fact that my wife and daughter are both gone and my son is in a wheelchair.” Knowing that those facts were true every day, I asked him about the days when he didn’t feel depressed: “Simple,” he said: “On those days, I am thinking about other things.”

Thoughts can control our behavior, and yet they are quite elusive and changeable. Anyone who has been divorced knows that. A divorced woman recently told me: “When I married my husband I was attracted to him because he was like a rock. Towards the end, he was more like a brick wall!” It sounded to me as if the most profound change in her marriage was her thinking.

Since the psychology of thinking is an integral part of Buddhist philosophy, I contacted Scott McBride, a Buddhist lama, and asked him how these things we call thoughts actually work inside our minds. He said, “Thoughts are shaping your experience all of the time, so that your approach to your self and other people and to all of the things you do in your life are being shaped by what you think from moment to moment. Sometimes those thoughts think one thing and sometimes another thing. Often we are buffeted around by our thoughts and the ensuing feelings that get attached to them.”

I know that sometimes my thoughts are very dark, and just take me from problem to problem. I asked McBride if our goal should be to control our thoughts.

“Not to control them,” he said, “but to become aware of them and begin to understand what they are and how they have been affecting you.”

When asked how, he responded, “To begin with, you can just take a few minutes every morning and begin observing your mind. You can watch the ebb and flow of your thoughts and notice whether they are dark, demanding, happy, etc. It is important that you just observe and not try to change anything. This can be done in a formal meditation practice, or sitting in an easy chair. This will help you begin to develop a relationship with your thoughts. This will also help you look at your thoughts more objectively rather than simply being the subjective ‘experiencer’ of your thoughts.”

It seems to me that despite the fact that these things called thoughts are changeable, fickle, and frequently unreliable, most of us live inside our thoughts and respond to them without question. I wondered whether, if we could sit back and observe our thoughts, they would lose some of their power over us. McBride agreed: “It helps us shift our position relative to our thinking, and we begin to see thoughts in a whole new light. Eventually, we begin to see our thoughts as just fleeting temporary events. This is even true with obsessive thoughts that dominate our attention. If we can look at them carefully, we can see that we keep returning to the same thought dozens of times rather than staying on it. This means that you are also leaving the obsessive thought dozens of times. But understanding this requires being able to carefully and dispassionately observe your thoughts.”

He went on to explain that in order to do this effectively, we must be in an environment that is quiet and away from stimulation. We must be willing to make a commitment to sit and literally do nothing for a period of time. This goes against many people’s instincts, as most are afraid of their thoughts and feelings and rarely sit quietly for fear of facing their demons. Just sitting inside one’s skin might be the most difficult part of the work.

McBride finished our discussion by explaining that if we become able to sit and observe our thoughts, eventually there is a shift in power inside of our minds. We discover that we are not our thoughts. Many start to notice that most of our thoughts are safe and unique to one’s individual mind, rather than objective truth.

As the late columnist Darrell Sifford used to conclude many of his columns: “What do you think?”

— Dan Gottlieb

[cherhys]

Northern Lights

Cassian x Reader 

Summary: When your best friend Cassian invites you on a trip, it quickly turns to full-fledged hiking and camping. But don’t worry, Cassian has a surprise up his sleeve that’ll make it all worth it...

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: I think my teeth may have rotted after writing this; read at your own risk

Notes: We’re back with fic number two! I’m swamped with midterms (not sure how I managed to write this tbh), but who can resist Cassian right? ;)

The wind is shocking with the lack of its usual abrasive bite. Instead, the breeze would be enjoyable if you weren’t starved, tired and gauging the exact angle at which to hit Cassian to knock him off of the steep pass he’d taken you on. When your friend approached you three days ago with that boyish smile you could never say no to, how were you supposed to know that “a short trip up North” would equate to roughing it out in the wilderness?

Your sigh is loud enough that Cassian turns around, the large pack on his back seeming to bother him little. Yours is half the size and yet you were borderline about to topple backwards if your shaking legs and sweat-soaked shirt are anything to go by. 

“You alright back there sweetheart?” Cassian has barely broken a sweat, the tan column of his neck on display as he reties his thick locks. Usually, you’d take your time to ogle him but his good looks only infuriate you further. 

“Of course Mr. General. I am having the time of my life.” Your tone is as dry as the sparse vegetation around you. The winter season was fast approaching, but the Steppes were always perpetually frozen, although Cassian doesn’t seem to mind. 

A sly grin spreads across his face, “That’s what I like to hear hon.” He pointed to a ledge that seemed infinitely far from your current position, “That’s where we’re camping for the night.”

You squinted against the sun, the reflection of the snow banks blinding, “I know you have to be kidding. Please say you’re kidding.” 

His grin stretched impossibly further, “Afraid not. The winds are shifting so we will have good protection up there.” A groan had left your mouth before he’d even finished speaking. This was simply unfair. You may not have been an Illyrian warrior, but you certainly weren’t out of shape. An Olympic hike through knee-deep snow just wasn’t on your to-do list for the week.

“Oh c’mon sweets,” Cassian pouted and leaned in, “Surely spending time with me isn’t so bad?”

His leather and sandalwood smell overwhelmed your senses but you tried not to inhale lest he notice, “I could’ve spent time with you in the House of Wind, sitting on a cozy couch, by a warm fire, with food in my belly, and a book in my hands.”

He waved his hand through the air as if the godly evening you had just described was smoke in the wind, “But this is so much more fun! And,” he grabbed your hands to pull you against his chest, “It’s just the two of us for miles and miles.” 

When you agreed, the trip seemed like a good opportunity to spend more one-on-one time with your best friend, as he (and everyone else, including yourself) had been busy as of late. A twinge in your chest reminded you that your recent unavailability isn't the only reason you agreed to this trip, but you'd be loath to admit anything else. Cassian was your dear friend and that became more apparent than ever with the recent addition of a certain Archeron sister to the House of Wind. That reminder had you pulling your hands away from him and swatting his chest. 

“I’m cold and hungry so let’s go.”

His smile faltered but he swiftly recovered and started at a brisk pace back up the path.

♡𝌀𝌀𝌀♥𝌀𝌀𝌀♡

“This is perfect.”

Cassian stood in the center of your makeshift campsite, his hands on his waist. He had dug out an impressive firepit, bracketed by stones, with a large pot hovering above. A fire was already blazing, casting shadows on the two tents you had pitched. 

He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he’d done, “I am just too good.”

“Careful Cass. Your head might get so big that you’ll float away.” 

You sat on a log by the fire, warming your hands in the rapidly cooling evening. You had made surprisingly good time to the campsite and the sun was only now setting. Just as I projected, Cassian had spouted but you both knew that was bullshit. 

The crackle of the flame is interrupted by your growling stomach. Your cheeks redden at the sound–the hike had certainly taken its toll on you. A booming laugh drowns all noise out as Cassian approaches his pack, a soft smile on his face.

“Hungry, sweetheart?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes as you press your hands to your stomach, “Yes, I’ve decided to turn to a life of cannibalism in the absence of any other food.” 

You bare your teeth in what you hope is a menacing enough look, the fire only further exacerbating your pearly whites. Cassian paused in the rooting of his bag, and wiggled his eyebrows, “I bet I’d taste delicious.”

You huffed an unimpressed sound, rubbing a strand of hair between your fingers, “You’d be too chewy with all that muscle. Not a pleasant experience.”

He let out a low whistle, looking at his covered arms as if he could see through to his rippling biceps, “I am well built aren’t I?”

You frowned, “Is that all you gathered–”

Cassian’s sudden exclamation had you jumping, “Found it! Here you are, m’lady.” 

He dramatically kneeled before you, and with a flourish presented you with a honeyed nuts and oats bar. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you at his foolish antics. The heat of the fire reached something delicate in your chest, a soft warmth sweeping through you. He always did know how to make you laugh. 

Not to be outdone, you took the bar from his hands and stood, “Thank you, brave warrior. For your service, you shall be knighted with the highest honour.” 

Using the snack, you graciously touched each of his shoulders while he watched you with an unreadable look on his face.

“Rise, Sir Cassian.”

He chuckled as he stood, the sound more tender than his usual roguish laughter. 

“Thank you, sweetheart. Although I think a lady like you is more deserving of a proper meal.” 

You smiled teasingly and looked around the snow-covered hills, “Is there a Rita’s around the corner that I missed?”

He leaned in conspiratorially and lowered his voice, “Even better.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head, letting him play into his grand reveal. 

“I,” He placed a strong hand on his chest, “Chef Cassian, will be preparing your meal today.” 

You blinked. Never had Cassian offered to cook for you in all the years of your friendship. Frankly, you weren’t even sure he could cook. 

“Alright then, I'd be happy to assist you Chef Cassian.” However, he was shaking his head long before you finished speaking. 

“Unfortunately there’s only enough space in the kitchen for one amazing chef, sweets.” You glanced around–kitchen, ok sure. 

Before you could protest he turned you by your shoulders and began to lead you toward your tent. 

“In the meantime, you will get some much-needed rest and I will wake you up once I’m done.”

You tried to slow him down, but it was futile against a male as large and strong as Cassian. Succumbing to your fate, you narrowed your eyes at him over your shoulder, his own shining with mirth.

“Are you calling me ugly right now?”

“No, I’m saying you look tired.”

“Those are the same thing, how dare you–”

“Please go and sleep, sweetheart.” Once you reached your tent, he relinquished his hold on you. While regaining your balance in the kicked-up snow, Cassian caught you off guard and placed a swift kiss on your cheek. 

You froze, not expecting the burst of affection but he had already turned and made his way back to the fire. Slowly, you unzipped and entered the tent, falling into a quiet sleep with your cheek still burning from his touch. 

♡𝌀𝌀𝌀♥𝌀𝌀𝌀♡

The delectable smell of food and the gentle caressing of your hair rouse you from your slumber. The large hand is warm and sure against your head, a comforting weight that only relaxes you further. Nails scratch lightly against your scalp and it takes everything in you not to lean into the touch and moan. 

“Wake up, sweetheart.” The deep voice is unmistakable and you quickly realize whose hand it was in your hair. 

You briskly sit up, startling Cassian at the sudden movement, his hand still poised in the air. You hastily fix your hair and shift in the sleeping bag, attempting to put some distance between you both. 

In your hurried movement, you fail to notice the slight downturn of his lips. He watched you pull away and he couldn't help but clench his fist, the feeling of the tresses of your hair still fresh in his mind. He opens his mouth to speak, to say anything to relax the tense look on your face but you compose yourself in the blink of an eye.

“Is the food ready? It smells delicious.” With a speed that even his most experienced warriors would envy, you swoop to put your boots on and exit the tent into the night.  

You halt your rapid steps, floored by the work Cassian so painstakingly put in. The food he had prepared–it was your favourite. He had spread the meal out on a larger stump, your plate already portioned for you. There is even a bundle of snowdrops he must’ve collected himself, placed as a makeshift centrepiece. 

Your breath is caught in your throat, unable to fathom that he had done this. Done this for you. I mean, of course, this is your best friend just showing he cares right? Your chest is nearly bursting with a feeling you have avoided acknowledging for so long. 

“I told you I was an amazing chef.”

Cassian’s comment snaps you out of your emotional stupor, turning to look at him as he sidled up beside you. He wears a cocky grin on his face, but his hand is rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“Yes,” You breathed softly, your words clouding before you, “You are amazing.”

His eyes widened at your admission and even in the cold, you could see the pink creeping across his cheeks. You held Cassian’s stare, his hazel eyes molten in the firelight. He cleared his throat, bringing you both back to the chill around you.

“Well, dig in sweetheart. I’d hate for the food to get cold.” 

He gestured to the logs around the impromptu stump table, and you didn’t need to be told twice. After the surprisingly tender moment, all you were left with was your ravenous hunger. Food had never smelled so delicious. 

You both sit and begin to devour the various dishes. The warm flavours melt on your tongue. Everything is spiced to perfection, and exquisitely cooked. The different textures dance in your mouth, and you couldn’t help the little moan that slips out at the delicacies he’s made. It isn't lost on Cassian’s ears and he’s licking his lips, despite the array of food before him. 

While the meal has warmed you, a gust of wind has you shivering.

“Cass, if you really wanted to cook for me, I’m sure you could’ve done this back at the House.” You joke, rubbing your hands up and down your arms. 

He looks contemplative for a second, “Yes, I could have. Except then I wouldn’t be able to show you what I’ve been looking forward to.” 

Your eyebrows furrow as he gestures around you. You had thought the spot he picked to camp out was, more or less, random–certainly not one that he had picked with the intention of showing you.

Cassian stands and dusts his legs off, reaching for your hand. He leads you over to sit on a log a little ways from the fire. 

“This place is called Aurora’s Peak. Yes, Velaris has a gorgeous night sky, but even there the light pollution dulls the effect,”

His voice is clear in the night around you, a comforting beacon you fixate on and lean into. His hazel eyes are bright but never brighter than the smile on his face. 

“The real beauty of the starry night can be seen here, far away and secluded from any cities. Look.”  

You do as he says, and look up at a sight that takes your breath away. Never have you seen the cosmos so clearly. The constellations twinkle brighter than ever, thousands of stars illuminating the darkness. But it's the dancing glow in the sky that mesmerizes you. Green, pink, purple and yellow light curtain the horizon, like streaks of paint on a canvas. In your centuries alive, it is a beauty you’ve never witnessed.

While you gape in awe at the dynamic flickers, Cassian watched you–his beauty. His eternity. He lightly brushes his fingers against the apples of your cheek, sweeping across not unlike the lights in the sky. You turn, breathless for so many reasons. You wear your bottom lip between your teeth; that all-consuming feeling in your chest is back again. The enormity of your feelings for the male before you consume you, and even under the vast sky, they seem boundless. But he isn’t yours. 

Your eyes flutter shut; you can’t keep looking at the reflection of the stars in his eyes, at his rosy pink cheeks, and his lush lips.

“Cassian–” 

He cuts you off by placing his forehead against yours. You both breathe the cold air in, exhalations mingling. In all your centuries you’ve never been so close. Never dared for fear of crossing that unspoken boundary. 

He slowly–ever so slowly–caresses his cheek against yours, revelling in the feel of your skin against his. He moves back across to the other cheek, delighting in your soft touch. You’re shaking like the nettles in the pine trees around you, Cassian daring to sweep you away like a gust of wind.

He moves in an arc from your cheek to your forehead and presses a light kiss there, his plush lips burning your skin. You’re both breathing heavily, and you lift your hands to where his palms are cradling your head. He spreads his calloused fingers gently, encircling yours with his own. 

Unspoken words pass between you as you pull back slowly to look him in the eye. His gaze is searching–questioning and worried even now. But beneath that, there is tender love. A passion as old as time and a fierce longing that overwhelms one’s very soul. With one spoken word, with one denial–you know he would lock it all away if you so wish.

As if you could ever deny him. 

You tilt your head up slowly, and he moves in without hesitation and claims your lips for his own.  His kiss is exactly as you imagined; sublime, perfect, and so very Cassian. Your lips move to a tune of their own as if you have embraced each other a million times before. Your hands move to his soft hair, eliciting a groan from him when you let it down from the pesky leather tie. The brush of his tongue is soft against your bottom lip, and a new wave of adoration washes over you. 

Your love, your heart–they were always his. Always had been. Even your soul was his, as a spark brightens deep within you–

You pull away, gasping and you feel it then–that light in your chest, a thread that glows with every colour of the northern lights above you, connecting you to Cassian’s very soul. He feels it too, evident by his mirror gasp. 

There are no shocked glances shared between you. You both had always known this is who your eternity lies with. With glistening eyes, you pull him into your embrace.

You whisper into the nape of his neck, before the stars as witnesses, “I love you.”

He tightened his hug and placed a kiss on the side of your head, “I love you too, sweetheart.” 

Cassian enveloped your body in his strong arms and took you to his tent, snow crunching beneath his boots. For now, the passion can wait, as you both simply bask in the glow of the bond.

Final Notes: I hope you enjoyed reading this! I’ve always wanted to see the northern lights... 

[lostgracestories]

Distant Sparks (Miguel O'Hara x Reader)

This was once again the winner of my most recent poll and WOO you guys are in for a treat! Unlike my usual one-shots so far, I am planning to make this into a series! I'm not sure how many parts this series will have but I am psyched!! Anyways, enough babbling and to the story!

tw: mention of bullying (past experience), cold Miguel, mention of Gabriella

wc: 661

->pt1<- pt2

Enjoy~ <3 (comment to be added to the tag list for this series)

You strolled happily down the halls of spider society with the biggest smile plastered to your face. You were a new Spiderwoman and you’d been accepted into the society only 2 months after being bit by your spider. Right now you are carrying this week's anomaly reports to take to Miguel. You had only met him twice. Once when you were recruited, and a second time when he called you to his office to give you your first mission. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little excited to see him again.

As you approached Miguel’s lab? Office? Surveillance room? Whatever it was, you stood there and inhaled a sharp breath before excitedly scurrying in, papers in hand.

“Hey, Miguel!” Miguel keeps his eyes focused on the screens in front of him. He has no interest in you yet and barely acknowledges you with a quiet, ‘Hm?’

“Jess said she had to take care of an important matter and asked if I’d drop these papers with you! I think she said that these are anomaly reports?” Miguel barely turns his head to inspect you for a moment from his platform before once again giving you a less-than-flattering response

“Thanks”

He webs the papers up to himself and flips through them, scanning through the details before setting them down and noticing that you are still there from the corner of his eye

“Unless you have anything else of importance to tell me, please leave”

His response is cold and you bite back your bottom lip. You had been treated worse than this before. On your earth, you had been a victim of relentless bullying throughout high school and even as you started college. No one here would even guess that you’d been through anything like that. You were so sweet and kind to everybody regardless of what was going on in your life.

“Actually… it’s nothing of importance really, but may I ask you a question?”

Miguel turns away from his work in annoyance and cocks a brow at you.

“Make it quick” You offer up a brighter smile as you begin your question.

“Well, the other spiders told me that it’s your birthday in three days and I was wondering what you would like for a gift?”

Miguel scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Nothing. Don’t get me anything. Now leave. You’ve already been enough of a distraction”

Miguel turns back to his screens and you stand there for a moment, stuck on those words. You realize that Miguel no longer wants to talk so you shift on your feet and turn around.

As you walked back through the halls of spider society, you got lost in your thoughts. 

“Don’t get me anything”

Those words replayed in your head and you pursed your lips together. What if you did get him something? Would he get angry and make you return it? If he didn’t want you to get him something then… your face absolutely lit up as you came up with the brightest idea.

What if I make him something?

That’s it! You were going to make this big grumpy spider a gift whether he wanted one or not! Because what kind of person would get rid of a handmade gift? They would have to be heartless to do that. And you knew he wasn’t. As much as he wanted to seem stone-cold and scary, you knew about what he had done when he replaced the version of him that had a daughter. But you also thought that it was a little endearing. Miguel hadn’t just seen an opportunity to live the life he wanted to live, he saw that a little girl was going to suffer because she would no longer have a father. To you, he was anything but heartless.

So that settled it. In 3 days, Miguel O'Hara was going to receive the best handmade gift he had ever been given in his entire life.

[rootinteen]

Nightmare Shift hcs and ideas

Because i have spend 2 days focusing on IRL matter way too big to sit down and write properly, but my mind refused to stop with the Nightmare AU. So here are some TNMN headcanons and stuff i will likely can't add to the fanfic but still want to add.

First off i started the Doorman as very neutral, generic character, but i am considering giving them a more constructed identity and personnality.

They're are a they/him, of Greek or Chypriot origin. 23 years old, picked up the job to finance the materials and budget they need to start their dream work of tattoo artist. They would not transform but i still hc their demonic alter ego as a Troll-kind of creature. Name's Nathan nicknamed Nath.

Ships :

Honor to the canon couples.

Roman and Lois are closing their 15 years anniversary, and they are the ones who got Alf and Rafttelynn together... Well, Lois did. Roman knew Alf from work, invited him for dinner once to review some potentially litigous counts. Lois saw him and decided he just HAD to meet Raftty.

Speaking of them. Rafttellyn is Alf's second wife. He lost his first love during war, and Rafttelynn brought him back the joy he had forgotten.

Arnold and Gloria are childhood sweethearts. They can't even tell you how old they were when they first hung out, or when it became romance. They still waited for Gloria to finish her studies and be settled job wise before marrying.

Dr.Afton and Mia met in college. W(aren) got an instant crush on her but he had no idea how to approach her. He just dreamed of Mia from afar until he realised soon she will be done with her education degree and he won't see her again. Cue the most rushed and awkward love confession. Mia found it adorable and accepted to at leasr keep contact. They have been engaged for a year and half now, the doppelganger situation makes things...a bit slow.

Now to the headcanons

Nacha and Francis are lesbian and gay, met in an underground gay club. They quickly became best friends and agreed to marry to protect themselves and avoid family outrages. They may not have romantic feelings but they do care a lot for each others and for Anastacha.

Nacha has a big crush on Elenois, and is trying to subtly figure out if she has a chance of asking her out safely.

Francis is in a relationship with Steven. He took the apartment next to him when it got vacant so they could have their own safe space, and free some room for Nacha to also live her life. Their relation is mostly secret, the only awares are Nacha, Anastacha (open and fair communication) and Mclooy (Steven has no clue his dad knows his sexuality and relation.)

Selenne has started dating Robertsky less than a year ago. She finds him comforting in those weird difficult times. Robertsky isn't sure how he managed to be with a model, but he does love her for far more than her (very) pretty face.

Angus and Izaack are the other gay relationship of the building. They are not as subtle and downlow as they think they are (thanks Lois and Raffty). They also started dating fairly recently after Izaack broke up with his last girlfriend (he is Bi.)

[ladylooch]

Liv’s First Time 

So the original ask says Lio and Liv ☠️… which is 100% MY BAD for naming all my kids with L names. So I re-worded it below because I cannot confuse you more than I already have.

How long do Liv and Luca fool around before they finally go all the way? Does Liv have to stop Luca sometimes when he gets worked up or does she like the effect she has on him?

Oh our Livy girl is ready to toss that V-card into Luca’s lap. Let’s bop into Liv’s first time….

Luca and Liv had been fooling around for awhile, but Luca always stopped things when they got a little too hot. He wanted Liv to take losing her virginity seriously. Liv thought he was taking it too seriously. But every night when she would go home to her bed, she would be thankful that he cared enough to want her to be completely sure. For someone who wasn’t sure if she could ever feel comfortable naked with someone, Luca Fiala had her throwing all thoughts of modesty out the window.

Towards the end of the summer, Luca is waiting in the car for Liv outside the bar, smiling at her approach. She had the early shift today and is exciting to spend the night with him. She knows exactly what they’ll be doing together.

“Hi beautiful.” He greets her as she slides in to the passenger seat. She leans over the center console, giving him a deep kiss. 

“Hi.”

“Where you wanna go?” He asks. He always lets her decide what they want to do after her shift. Some times she is tired. Other times she wants to hit the touristy night life.

“To your place.” 

“Okay.” He chuckles. “I don’t have much food tho. Are you hungry?”

“It’s okay, what I want to eat will be there.”

“Oh?” He asks, backing out of the parking space. “You hide treats somewhere?”

“Sure, but you’re the treat.” Luca pauses, then slowly moves the car into drive. “I am done waiting. I want to have sex. Like right now.” Luca’s brown eyes become molten. His pupils widen as he takes in the wild look in Liv’s blue gaze. She looks so hot for him, her desire is dripping, tightening her nipples into distinct points through her bra and shirt. “Okay.” He nods, then maneuvers his car towards home. 

When they get there, Liv gets shy. She swallows hard as she walks into the apartment in front of him. Suddenly, she takes a leap off the edge, jumping onto Luca at his approach. He chuckles, feeling the anxiousness in her jittery touch. 

“Hey…” He trails off, slowing her from the rushed kisses she was forcing. “We’ll take it slow.”

“I want you. Really bad.” Liv insists, worried he doesn’t think she is serious with the way her fingers shake.

“I know. I do too.” He rolls her against his thickened jeans. “But I want to take care of you. I want this to be special for us. Stay here for a sec.”

He brings her to the couch, dropping her onto the middle cushion before disappearing into his bedroom. Liv runs her hand through her hair anxiously, pulling the condom out of her shorts that she snatched from her coworker’s purse. She isn’t sure if it is the right size or anything, just that she wants to be prepared. She’s been on the pill for awhile because of period issues, but isn’t naive enough to go with nothing for her first time.

Luca comes back to the living room, reaching out for her hand. She slides their fingers together, letting him lead her into his room. Inside, a few sparse candles are lit. Soft music plays from the speaker on his dresser. The lamps by his bed are draped with his extra pillow cases to create mood lighting.

“You didn’t have to do this.” She hides her smile in his bicep, looking up at him.

“You deserve this, Liv. Probably won’t always be like this.” He laughs, rubbing her back. He turns her into him, kissing her lips briefly. Liv pulls back after a few, hot moments. 

“I brought this.” She whispers, holding up the silver wrapper.

“Mmmm, that’s sweet, but it’s not going to fit. I’ve got some.” 

“Are they new?” She had heard about old condoms and wasn’t really sure what to do here. She isn’t sure how recently he had sex last.

“I got them last week.” He assures her. “I figured this was coming.” Last week was when he made Liv orgasm for the first time with his mouth. Fuck, she hopes he will do that for her again tonight. “These are what I need.” He shows her the wrapper, pointing to the word Magnum. Her eyes raise to his.

“Does… that mean you’re…”

“Little bigger than standard. Nothing you need to worry about. I know how to use it.” He leans down, grabbing her chin to kiss her deeply. “It’s sexy how you’re this innocent… makes me want to ruin you.” Liv sighs, melting into his touch. His hands come to the button on her shorts working the closures down until they pool at her ankles. Her panties come next.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Luca asks her. “You can back out at anytime.”

“Yes. I want you to teach me.” Liv begs, sure of her choice and needing the desire in her body to be released. Luca takes off her shirt, then expertly unclasps her bra. Totally naked, she rests her forehead on his shoulder. He pats her hips gently.

“I got you, baby. Go sit on the bed.” Luca encourages her. Liv does, setting herself on the edge then watching Luca removes his shirt. His eyes stay on her as he undoes his belt. He kicks his shorts off, then confidently removes his boxer briefs. He pokes out. Liv gasps slightly at the sight. He looks incredible, hard muscles, longing in his brown eyes as he walks towards her. He grabs her hand, putting it on his hard length. He guides his hips forward, pumping himself through her fingers. Liv leans forward after a few thrusts, putting his tip against her closed lips.

“I didn’t teach you that.” He smirks. Her tongue comes out, lapping at the creamy bead against his slit. Luca chokes on a groan. “Oooo, babe. Careful. I’m loaded here.” Liv smiles, then sucks the tip of him into her mouth. Luca’s head knocks back. “Baby. Not tonight.” He clears his throat, stepping away. “Tomorrow though. I promise. Lay back for me.” 

Liv does as she is asked, the coolness of his comforter caressing her back. He leans over her. His lips nuzzle against her. Liv sighs, wrapping her arms around his big shoulders. Her hands dash into his hair, holding him close. He moves his knees closer between her legs, letting his head brush against her folds. She’s soaked for him. He moans then takes in a steadying breath to not push into her bare.

“Please. I’m ready.” Liv whispers desperately against his mouth. He reaches for the condom he tossed to the left. He rips it open. Liv watches as Luca instructs her how to do it. Her touch is delicate, having trouble with the rubber for a moment, until his confident fingers guide it down completely. When he is fully suited, he comes over her again. 

“You’re sure?” He checks a final time.

“Yes.” Liv’s confidence gives him the approval to move forward. He places himself at her entrance, then gently presses forward. Liv bites down harder on her lip.

“Breathe.” Luca reminds her. She starts to breathe again, eyes staying locked on his face. He looks down, watching himself be swallowed into her heat. He shivers when he is fully in, then checks on his beautiful girlfriend. Her eyes are wilder now, excited with him inside of her. Pink coats her cheeks as his pleasureful laugh brushes over her face.

“Kiss me, Liv.” Luca murmurs against her mouth. She does and he slowly pulls slight out of her heat, then presses back in. She exhales sharply. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” She sucks in another quick breath.

“Couple more and it will be better. I promise. I’ll make you feel good.” He brings a hand up to her breast, squeezing, then brushing his fingers along her nipple. Liv’s eyes close. There it is. The ripples of pleasure begin to flutter within her body. Only Luca makes her feel like this. He pulls out, then thrusts back in a bit more. Heat explodes out from Liv’s chest, dancing down her body, making her warm and loose. 

“Oh. That feels good.” Liv moans, biting her lip. “Really good.” She assures, closing her eyes, pressing her finger prints more into his back.

“You okay if I talk dirty?” Liv nods vigorously. “You like when I fuck you, baby? Like feeling how I stretch you open?”

“Mhm. Yeah.” She pants into his ear. “Tell me how good I feel.” She wants to know he’s enjoying this too. She can barely think beyond the tightening in her core. 

“You feel so good, baby. I’m trying so hard not to cum already.” 

“I want you to.” 

“Not until you do… always you first, babe.” Luca’s hand trails down between her legs. He strokes her clit with soft touches. Liv’s breathing hitches and she quivers. 

“Mmm.” She exhales, pulling her mouth away from his. Luca’s thrusts increase. Their heavy breathing begins to mix in front of their faces. “Oh.” She chokes out, mouth staying open in an O as she feels the coil begin to snap inside of her.

“Cum for me, baby. Like the good girl you wanna be.” Liv’s eyes screw shut as an explosion of pleasure blasts through her body. Luca grunts at the force of her gripping him and shoots everything he’s got into the latex surrounding him. He slows his jerky thrusts, careful to not press as deep as he wants to because she’s already going to be sore enough. Liv clings to Luca, quivering against him as she tries to fall back to reality. Luca smiles against her shoulder as he kisses her, loving on her in her most vulnerable moment. 

“Oh wow.” Liv sighs. 

“Mmm.” He chuckles. “That was amazing.” He kisses her puffy lips, devouring her with his mouth in praise. “I’m going to pull out now.” Slowly, he retreats from her folds, gripping the edge of the condom. Liv blinks, aching already at the emptiness.

As he leaves the bed, a warm comfort falls over Liv’s body. She’s so happy that was with him. He makes her feel safe and loved, even during something she was nervous about. She wants to relieve that moment a million times over with him. Liv is staring up at the ceiling when Luca returns.

“Are you okay?”

“I am… So much more than that. Thank you.”

“Thank you. I’m so happy you trusted me with this part of you.” 

“Can we do that again?”

“Yes.” He laughs. “But let’s give it some time. See how you’re feeling in a little bit.” He lays back on his pillow, opening his arms for her to crawl into him. He pushes his fingers through her hair to touch her scalp. “My one flaw is needing a nap after sex.” Luca jokes.

“As long as you hold me while we fall asleep.”

“I’ll hold you forever, Liv.” 

[hxneydreamers]

✨THE ONLY THING YOU NEED TO GET EVERY DESIRE✨

My biggest struggle this year began when my SP and I separated. My focus was all over the place as I had just begun a new job - what was supposed to be my dream job. My mental diet completely slipped because I did not put in the time to identify what was triggering me, and I instead used my free time to desperately affirm for my SP. All my energy was on things external to me, and when I didn't see results, my self-concept got worse and worse until even my job became horrible. I was in the worst place ever and I felt trapped.

I took a break from manifestation and basically fell victim to my 3D until one day I had a breakdown and begged the 'universe' for some sort of sign of what to do. That same weekend I bumped into a friend who started telling me that she saw on Facebook that we were both part of a manifestation group. She proceeded to tell me about how she manifested her SP back with self-concept only - their situation was almost exactly the same as mine. This was the sign I needed.

That same week I decided to just start fresh and approach this with a new perspective. My goal was no longer my SP, but myself. My goal was to be happy again, to be fulfilled, to be the best and most fulfilled version of myself, to be chosen and irreplaceable, and to know that no one compares to me in my reality. Yes, I still wanted my SP, so if he came to my mind I would affirm a few things, but I would always steer my thoughts back to me and my self-concept.

This is what I have manifested so far by focusing only on my self-concept:

My anxiety and depression basically subsided almost overnight

Genuine joy, confidence & fulfillment with or without my specific desires.

More friends in my life, social opportunities, and experiences

My workplace has become so much more tolerable, and even enjoyable.

Opportunities for my career and access to expensive facilities and services for free.

New and amazing friendships at work (one of the biggest factors contributing to work getting better).

I did not feel like I fit in with my old team and didn't like my old desk, and I manifested being moved to a new team in the new year and have moved to the best and brightest desk in my part of the office.

A free trip away.

A random urge to completely change my hair and my look (didn't realize until after I did it that it was inspired action to shift into the new version of me.)

I manifested CRAZY AMOUNTS OF ATTENTION FROM GUYS! All year I had literally 0 action, and suddenly since I started working on my self-concept I have had options appearing out of nowhere.

New romantic options, including ones with similar vibes and similar situations as my SP.

Old crushes, old friends, people from the past & exes coming back!

Repeating numbers EVERYWHERE!!!!!! So many 1111 and 111's.

The craziest of all of this was that in the last 2 weeks I have had 2 guys come into my life:

The first one is a guy from the past who lives in another country on the other side of the world. He has the same name as my SP and is constantly messaging me, trying to organise trips for us to see each other and have a romantic getaway. (I know right, what the hell!?)

The second guy is the most recent in my life. He ALSO has the same name as my SP, but the weirdest part is that he has a similar personality and many similar traits to my SP. It's eerie. This relationship is the one that has progressed the most out of all of the options I've had come around, which makes me think this is all birds before land.

Lastly, my SP has been messaging me on all platforms much more frequently than usual. He even told me he has a gift for me. I have not seen this guy since March this year.

My affirmations:

I am torturously unbeatable, unforgettable, irresistible & irreplaceable

I am always chosen, come back to, and fallen deeply in love with

No one compares to me

No one holds a candle to me

I am the prize, I am the ideal

All the guys I want are deeply in love with me and want me a million times more than I want them

I am the most wanted, confident, magnetic, irresistible & irreplaceable person in the world

Please take this as a sign to:

Not stress about what you are affirming, when it comes to self-concept it doesn't matter how many you have. Just soothe yourself and become who you want to be

Stop stressing about your desires and start focusing on yourself. The rest will just fall into place.

Take your focus off things external from you. You only want them because you think they will make you happy. If you just focus on making yourself happy, then you will naturally manifest the desires that will contribute to that happiness.

I was spiraling and stuck in a cycle of picking new SP affirmations, reacting, back to square 1, and repeating. Since I began just focusing on self-concept, I've genuinely become the most confident, abundant, happy, and chosen version of myself ever.

Do I have moments of doubt and worry? Yes, I am only human. What do I do when this happens? I take a moment to acknowledge how I feel and listen to my body. I meditate when I feel like I need to rest my mind a bit (I like to use Dylan James' self-concept meditations on youtube - highly recommend! I also like to sleep with his meditations), or if I'm feeling up to it, I set a 10-20 minute timer and loop my affirmations confidently in my head.

I am currently feeling random waves of the old story coming up in my mind and dreams, and random triggers coming up in the 3D, trying to bring me back to my old identity, but I know this is just a purge of the old, because I'm certain I am just about to fully shift into this new version of myself.

I will update you on my progress soon, and hope this inspires you to keep going and just focus on YOU! You are the star, after all, no desire outside of you deserves your attention more than you do.

Also, I am finally opening up coaching again! I will be taking people at a much slower pace than before, as I literally get 100's of messages from different people and it can be hard to stay caught up as I do have a full-time job (and 2nd job) outside of this. If you need my help with anything, please reach out and I will do my best to get to you.

Due to the high volume of dm's for coaching that I get, I am considering finding a new way of approaching coaching, so stay tuned for that.

Sending love! 🧡✨

[9w1ft]

Good morning fellow tinhat!

I am curious why you included Getaway Car and joe and Taylor being Bonnie and Clyde. Isn’t the idea that Tom and Taylor were Bonnie and Clyde and Taylor left him behind in the getaway car?

now now, yes i believe that this was the common interpretation of getaway car at the time, especially among swifties, but i think this gets back to my point about how she talks about crimes in plenty of songs throughout her career but people cherry pick what songs apply to which people and if the crimes are sexy or unforgivable.

also i think in recent years, as the metaphor persists and her time with joe also persists, it’s reasonable to reconsider getaway car as a part of one long, 2190 day blackout-encompassing love story. and since i approach kaylor as something that has in fact endured a 2190 day love blackout, i do the math from there and try to think of ways that the metaphor might apply.

i sort of get this sense that for taylor, especially in her early-mid 20s with the rapid succession of beards and the rapid rise of her career, she became so clever with it that it may have even been fun or at least something thrilling. she knew places to hide. there was a cat and mouse aspect to it. not just for her and her lover but for her with her fans. and she couldn’t lose.

and when she met karlie you get the sense that she met her match. in songs like cowboy like me or mastermind you see how something felt different about this fellow outlaw. and i think about you are in love when you can see she has the realization about true love “you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars” and for me, i feel a shift in their story where it becomes less and less about heisty criminality and more and more about locking it down and battling for something greater. something that songs like ivy or the great war talk about.

the transition is more of a gradation than the flip of a switch, i think. the mojo is absolutely there in songs like ready for it. she made the best plans of her life. but i can kind of see getaway car or illicit affairs or maybe high infidelity, for example, as songs about this transition. when all of a sudden the criminal buddy ride or die thing they had going on fell apart. not that they broke up, but that the amusement park facades darkened and it was no longer something to simply fascinate over. they had to shift gears and say goodbye to those years of hijinks and go dark and plan for their future, instead of reveling only in the present.

now that we are a year or so out from that persnickety bonus track (with a song lyric which i still think can easily be about kim kardashian) i also feel comfortable considering how that one line could fit in to a part of this story, of taylor saying it’s time to go to the fun and games worldview she had on bearding, and reprioritizing her time on her family. that she’s setting off… but not without her muse. because taylor has always been a crook and so has karlie, but it turned out that loving karlie was going to be loving someone who was caught in certain circumstances. someone who, in choosing to be with for the long haul, meant they couldn’t simply galavant the same way anymore.

this all returns to something i think i’ve said in the past, that we are just in a very different environment and stage for them than back in like, 1989 tour era. and i find it a little unreasonable to assume the same values or priorities of taylor then as she might have now. i mean good lord, one would think she has a lot more to protect now, you know? she’s not giving a cop out explanation for lavender haze to protect a relationship with joe, you know?? i think there are various ways to view all of this.. on one side of the spectrum her swings to privacy and caution might be viewed as a waste of an opportunity to contribute to societal progress, and maybe on the other side of the spectrum these might be looked to as ultimate acts of unconditional love.. people can asses as they please but i think it’s important to have a correct read of the gravity at play in deciding if it’s something to dedicate time to following.

anyway.. 🙈

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

hey Sarah and TSSers! happy holidays!

could i dump a lil of my recent thoughts in hopes of some encouraging words from this community?

i am a proud single girlie and have been my whole entire 25-year-old life (like literally zero romance at all). a relationship has never been something i craved enough for me to go after it, and also i have been hit on a total of 2 times ever (none of which became anything), so i have no experience in even flirting.

the very few times in my life that i even thought about dating, i always ended up making no effort and just having a “live your own life with your own interests and hobbies and the right person will find you” (i still like to believe this is true, a la 1989 era independent Tay)

however, this holiday season is the first time for real that i’ve felt like maybe a relationship could be something good to me. it peaked my interest. i don’t know if it’s because of quarter-life crisis thoughts that i’ll “end up alone” or the fact that some of my friends have gotten engaged lately and i have never held hands romantically (sigh lol)

anyway, any tips for me? i don’t want to have dating apps (sorry, feels like too much atm) and i already took the “live your life and see what happens” approach where i genuinely didn’t care about love, but i feel like if i want to try a relationship or even just have some flirting energy in my life, it’ll have to include some effort… but how? help

Hi friend! Big huge feels this holiday - which isn't surprising to me given the cuffing season of it all (my feed around this time of year in December is usually filled with engagement and pregnancy announcements - tis the damn season).

I'll start off by saying that 25 is so young. So young. SO. YOUNG. Not having any romantic experience or interest at that age is normal and you are so beyond fine. So happy for your friends who are engaged (it's an exciting time in one's life!) but you are also perfectly normal for never having entertained romantic notions up to now.

That said, now that your feelings are shifting ... how indeed does one proceed? I'd so love to crowdsource hot tips from this v generous community of wonderful humans because I genuinely don't even know how you meet people romantically nowadays if not with the help of an app and also if the social circles and hobbies you partake in now aren't creating opportunities for you.

My only thought is perhaps openly talking about wanting to start getting out there with your friends and your network of people and speaking comfortably about being ready will be a cue to your friends (and the universe) to make some recommendations and nudges your way of people who you might hit it off with. I think that's the next step above the "see what happens" approach which is when you start saying "this is what I want to happen". You have to start saying it and 'manifesting' it.

Best of luck my sweet friend and of course you will have TSSers here with some tips to help you on your journey!

[ahnsael]

I'm surprised to realize that I have not mentioned this here.

I left my job at the casino. I was under a microscope from somebody above my boss. I don't know who, but that doesn't really matter.

I have health issues. I was in the emergency room twice in a week. Then I went home early a few times after throwing up into trash cans at work because it would come on too suddenly for me to make it to the restroom. As a result, I was put on probation.

The writing was on the wall, so instead of getting fired I terminated my own employment. Everybody has been nice about it (at least those I have spoken with). And I hold no anger towards the casino or anyone there. Not even whoever it was who decided that I was on very thin ice, and tap dancing. Depending on what comes next, they may have done me a favor.

For now I am resting after over seven years of working on my feet, and adjusting back to a more "normal" sleep schedule. I used to wake up at 9pm for my graveyard shift. Today I got up at 6pm. It's a process.

I still wake up for moments to roll over and think "Who am I wrking with tonight? What specific things do I need to get done tonight?" And then I realize that neither question applies anymore.

I know I burned the bridge with the company. I only gave 18 hours notice. But I am honestly thanking everyone I speak to with whom I worked. Until receently, it was overall a wonderful experience. I even enjoyed it recently, but had added stress because of the situation. But I generally like (almost) everyone I worked with (and those I wasn't a fan of are gone -- I even get along with employees who almost everyone else does not like; it's all about how you approach them). I had over seven good years there. But it was time to move on.

There are a LOT of times throughout my career, and different jobs, where I ask an employee to do something they would rather no do and they respond "If any other manager had asked me to do that, I would refuse. But since it is you, I'll do it." When I was new at the casino, I told a porter (read: custodian) that my first rule of being a manager is to never ask someone to do something that I would not do. One night, someone vomited on the restroom floor. I couldn't just walk away from it, so I grabbed a handful of towels and started cleaning it up. My porter just happened to walk in as I was doing it. I did not advertise that I would be doing it. He walked in, saw me on my hands and knees (back when my hands and knees worked right) and said "Wow, you really did mean it when you said you wouldn't ask us to do anything you would not do!" From that point on, he never complained when I asked him to do something.

Iam really going to miss both my coworkers and my guests. I went in last night just to collect a few personal things. I forgot about my umbrella, but it felt awkward being there so soon after resigning. I refused to go into the office. That wouldn't feel right. The office is employees only. So the other manager grabbed a few things, then we spoke for a bit and shook hands. This is the manager with whom I did not get along for months. They we had it out and understood each other better and then we got along. We shook hands. I got to wish my security guard the best and shake his hand. I got to say goodbye to a bartender with whom I generally only worked with once per week, but we had good conversations on that one night per week. I got emotional enough that I had to let it pass before I drove home. Driving home with blurred vision from crying would probably be about as dangerous as drunk driving.

I still get emotional over it. I had been there since mid-July 2016. This is the end of a long chapter in my life. I am still a little surprised I went through with it. But I was going to be pushed out if I didn't walk out on my own. And I know this was not what my boss wanted. He did not want to suspend me Friday morning. It was onlytwo days, but it also came with 90 days probation, like when I first hired in, but more strict suspension. If I even left work early, I was likely going to be fired from the sounds of it, even if I am sick.

I woke up to a message from the assistant property manager (he was part of the disciplinary meeting when I was suspended) telling me he thinks I did the best thing for my physical and mental health.

There is only one sour taste that I have in my mouth.

We were robbed at gunpoint in July of this year. Our county has an app where I can make sure they are still in jail. But one of our employees has severe PTSD after having a gun aimed at them. I was in a break area when the robbery happened and didn't know it had happened until the robbers had left. I called 911, not knowing that another employee was already on the phone with them. AFTER I called 911, the employees said that the gunmen had said they would come back to shoot and kill us all if we called law enforcement. I may not have been out there, but I have been robbed at gunpoint. This was mid-2000s. I still have flashbacks.

So if they said they didn't feel safe and wanted to go home, I would let them. I have a heart. Sure, it left us short staffed, but my most recent boss would agree that part of being a manger is running the business, but we also have to care for our staff.

Then it came down from HR that if this person called off or went home early, we had to give very specific reasons.

First, they already know the specific reasons. They are just being picky. They have a note from this person's psychiatrist detailing how deeply her PTSD goes. One other time she had fallenwhile getting out of bed and felt like she may fall again during her shift, and I put that down as the reason. But I was being askedd to go deeper into asking about and announcing her private medical information. That rubbed me very much the wrong way.

This is not the bartender I saw last night, but they are one of the first people I told after I made it official and we spoke on the phone and wished each other well. We do have each other's phone numbers so it was not necessarily goodbye. But she is this sweet ld lady who can party. Emloyees are entitled to one free "after shift" drink whether they are gambling or not (if not gambling they have to pay for any further drinks but the casino's drinks cost less than any other bar nearby). She ordered a shot of Fireball and a manager who is thinking of leaving early next year (one of two planning to leave -- I don't know that they will be able to maintain a 24-hours-a-day operation with as many of us as they are losing) decided, as a joke, to fulll a "bucket glass" with Fireball (if you aren't familiar with "bucket glass," think rum & Coke sized, but not the tall 12 or 16 oz glass). He figured he was just wasting booze but that it would be funny.

Then this sweet old black lady, always demure and quiet, picked up the glass and slowly downed the entire thing in one go. The rest of the graveyard crew and the manager just stared and dropped our jaws. It really was impressive. The manager asked if she wanted another one and she wisely said no.

This same guy once made me a Jack and Coke in a tall glass and filled it up about 7/8 of the way (after icing the glass) with Jack Danieals, then just added a splash of Pepsi (they are a Pepsi company). I nursed that thing for about an hour and a half. I wasn't going to down it like a bucket glass of Fireball and then drive home. The other crew member who had a drink with us had a wine glass ful of tequila. And the company wonders why the cost of goods for the bar is so high. That bar will never in the history of the casino make a profit. It's their loss leader. Most drinks are complimentary. But it keeps people at the slot machines, which is where the profit comes from. Even when someone wins a huge (and my huge, at this casino that is as high as $15,750), it is actually good for the bottom line. Because they tell their friends, who then come in thinking they will win. And paying jackpots was my favorite part of the job. There is just something about laying out thanksands of dollars in front of someone while counting it out to them. I always loved when people win.

After all, I also watched people go completely broke chasing the big win. I saw one once (well, I didn't actually see it, but I saw the afttermath) run out of money, drain their bank account, run out of money again, then beg people for $3 in gas money to be able to get home (if I would have seen that, I would have had to ask her to leave, but I found out after the fact). When someone (another sweet old lady who I haven't seen since COVID hit so I have a feeling she is no longer...capable of visiting, let's put it that way) told me, I saw the one who had asked for $3 -- you guessed it, gambling that $3 to try to turn it into more.

But people do not seem to understand how slot machines work. Sure, they pay back generally close to 90% of what they take in. That is mandated by the state. But that is an OVERALL percentage. The machines will take and they will take. Then one person will get lucky, and the machine stays in compliance. There is never a guarantee that a guest will win at all. I once put $60 in a machine, bet the minimum of 75¢, and ran out of money without a SINGLE winning spin. Not even a win that paid less than my bet. Not even a one penny win. I never played that game again. But I have paid jackpots on that machine. I was just the unlucky one that time.

Another time, before I started spending more for better health insurance (and thank goodness I did that), I had a game that I liked to play. Most machines have higner payout percentages if you bet more. I would take $200 of each paycheck and use it in that game and either play until that money was gone or until I hit something good. And even if I lost, I had the means to make it until the next paycheck. After upping my health insurance, I was gambling maybe $20 per month at most.

But this one day I was betting $8.80 (it has a Chinese theme and the way the number 7 is considered lucky by many here, there it's the number 8 that is considered lucky). I got a reel combination that resulted in a win of $4,320. On that day, I was the lucky one. For that matter, every employee working at the time (other than the manager -- graveyard is supposedly the only shift where managers can accept tips because we are wearing more hats as far as job duties), some other managers do, but I figure that is between them and the company) -- but every employee other than the manager was handed a $100 bill by me. Tips/tokes/gratuities are NEVER required. I've had to have this conversation many times over the years when employees help with a jackpot and there is no tip. I have to tell them "Yes, they just won $4,000, that does not mean they have not lost a lot more than that." And I could look at their stats if they were using a player's card and see that even after a jackpot like that, they have still lost a lot of money.

It was a very interesting business to work in. I do not at all regret my time with the company. And my boss was very kind when I called him at 5am to tell him I would not be working there anymore, effective immediately. SSo yeah, I deefinitely burned the bridge with the company. But I am staying positive about the people I worked with and the overall experience. Behind Disneyland, this was the second favorite job I have ever had. I may be sad about how it went down at the end, but overall it was a fantastic experience and I will remember the good years I had. I met good people. I worked with good people. I served guests who were awesome to have in the casino.

Granted, there was the guy who tried to jump through a window trying to escape deputies. There was the robbery. There was the guy (who thankfully moved to the other side of the country) who would come in hammered off his rear and want drinks. He once offered me $10,000 for one beer. I said that even if he pulled out $10,000 on the spot, I would still say no. I doubt he had $10,000 on him. I would show him the door, then he would come back even druner, and with no memory of having been there earlier. There were fights. We had a guy break one of our doors (not the window thing -- he actually slit the wood slamming it open because he was upset that I asked to check his ID to make sure he was old enough to be there).

There was some workplace drama between people, but I did my best to stay out of it. If I could understand where both were coming from, I would sit with them and help them hash things out. But if one person came to me complaining about an issue they have with someone else but I'm not seeing what they were (I wrote "are" -- I have to get used to past tense with this job), I just tell them I don't want to hear the complaints. I heard it already, made a decision not to act because I don't see the thing they are complaining about, or it does not involve my shift at all,but people tend to just harp on it (sort of like me with this post).

There was once (quite a few years ago) we had an emplyee ask to go home sick. Their request was granted. Then they sat at a slot machine gambline for hours. We had a manager have too much to drink and cause a HUGE scene. Because of them, a rule was made that managers could not have more than two drinks in a day at the casino (just the one Jack and Coke I had that one day broke that rule). But that rule went away when that manager left. It was a specific rule to keep them in line.

But the good FAR outweighs the challenges. Iam curious to see how things go now that I am gone. But it would probably have to be through the grapevine. When I went in to pick up a few personal items, it felt strange even though I refused to go into the office (after all, the office is "employees only" and I no longer qualify). Just just being there, at least this soon after my employment ending, felt odd.

But I will find something new. It is a new chapter. A fresh start. A chance to maybe sleep normal hours (not sure I will get there; depends on what the nex step in employment is). And two fellow managers have offered to write me glowing recommendations, so that is good. I have definitely burned the bridge with the company. I have not burned any bridges with those with whom I worked. And Ihave no reason to burn any bridges. I worked with a good group of people. This boss was up there with the best bosses I've ever had. And I know everything coming down on me was not his decision (trust me, I've worked for him for over seven years; he is not a liar so if he says he is being told to do something by above him in the company, I believe him). He has proven over the years that he genuinely cares. He once LITERALLY saved my life by sending me to the hospital. Nurses, after doing blood work, were shocked I was still even alive. I had told my boss that the next day was my Friday, so I would go then to not miss work if I was kept overnight. Nurses said that if I would have ignored my boss and waited, I would have definitely died that day. Three days and two blood transfusions later, I was back on my feet and back at work.

So again, despite the fact that it came down to "leave on your own terms, or their terms?" I will always look back at my years there as a good experience. I learned a lot. Not just about the casino business, but how to be a more effective manager. As inconvenient as the times of training classes can be (great, let's go to a noon two hour training class when I have to be up at 9pm for work), the training program is good. And ongoing. You don't just go through initial training and then you're on your own. Classes are even repeated to keep it fresh. There is a binder of shift manager operating procedures in the office that we are told to read four times a year. Most of it is mundane and simple and there were pages that I skipped because I was there for so long I knew them. But there are also some special circumstances covered that it was helpful to re-read. Tehnically I was breaking a rule when I gave CPR at the casino one night. But if a 911 operator is telling me to do it, I am not going to argue. It's like the casino attendant who saw the robbery starting and was not seen, and immediately went outside to call 911, and told them -- when the robbers left -- which way they went, he could have gotten fired for that even though he did EXACTLY the right thing; not per policy, but as a person. All of the managers, including me, GANGED UP on HR to make sure he would not lose his job for having his cell phone on him or not having a manager be the one to make the call (I was uot back, and the other manager was a little busy being held at gunpoint and being threatened with death if he so much as touched his cell phone).

There are things about the company I will never understand. Like, I have an Apple Watch, and a new policy was emailed from HR a few days ago saying they are not allowed. And yet when I was part of drop night until this past monday, whoever was counting money would call me on my personal number (even not carrying my phone, even though I did start carrying it against the rules), I could answer on my watch. If I am not supposed to have it, why did my bosses call me on it?

But I did like when people would see me talking to another manager on my watch. I felt like Inspector Gadget. The difference is that his calls with Penny or Brain (did he have video calls with Brain? I forget) were video calls. Mine were audio calls.

Anyway, I need to shut up. I just have a lot of emotions in me right now. But the fact that my boss did not try to convince me to stay (he can be VERY pursuasive) and my other casino-level boss is telling me that he thinks it was the right thing makes me feel better about the decision. They know I got out before I was forced out. I was not sure about the "forced out" option but I had a feeling. Their reactions tell me that my intuition was correct. I do not know what is next, but I needed to turn that page. I just happen to be on a blank page right now. But the text will continue. I am going to miss the heck out of that job. Not as much as I miss Disneyland, but they were good to me for a long time. It's just a shame that I fell under the microscope because of health issues that they have documentation from doctors about. But I will not let that spoin my memories. A few people say I should sue them for holding medical issues against me, but I do not want that hassle. When I went down in January, I called my boss to tell him that I was ready to return to work, but told him that I would be using a walked. He said "absolutely not in a walker." Then he got chewed out about reasonable accomodation, and he let me back. And the funny thing is that whoever enforced reasonable accomodation is likely the same person who now wanted me out. I do not know that for sure.

So, yeah. That happened. I will see what the next chapter entails. All I know is that she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three (Beauty and the Beast reference unrelated to my situation). As emotional as this time is, I have to find those moments of humor and happiness. It is a huge change in my life, but I have to remain myself, even under stress. And the encouraging words of even my bosses tell me that not only do they accept my decision, but they want what is best for me in the long run.

It's almost like the last time I was at Disneyland in 2019. I saw one of my old managers on the parade route irecting the sales of glow merchandise (it was always his thing) and I walked up to say hello. I look a LOT different than I did as a cast member. I'm much older and balder and more wrinkly. He recognized me as soon as he saw me. And right before the Main Street Electrical Parade (I think -- maybe it was Paint the Night by then; speaking with a former colleague who was maybe my best boss ever was more important to me than the parade). I remember "shooting out the lights on Main Street." I would take two glow swords and recreat the 1992 opening ceremony to the Barceloa Olympics (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmRf41SVHS4). Except opposite. That guy used a bow and flaming arrow to light the Olympic torch (and it really was an impressive shot). I used my (fake) bow and arrow to turn the lights off for the parade. I always got at least some applause directed at me, not just the parade. I used to walk down Main Street U.S.A. and get cheered. Even during other parades, I would (badly) dance (I am not much of a danceer). But people recognized that I was trying and they would applaud.

I will not remember the casino QUITE as well as I do Disneyland. But I wil remember it fondly.

There will come a time when I will make another appearance at the casino. After I am employed again, I may even gamble some. But it is too soon, other than picking up some personal items yesterday.

[damangaka]

So here I am, talking with my life partner about how I'm somewhat dissatisfied with the way some social movements (in particular the LGBT+ and Women's rights) are managed and how, while they have their hearts in the right place the execution is sometimes done poorly, which has lead to - in my opinion - a sad regression done in the progress of several areas in dire need of improvement.

My focus was on how they're done in the Western-anglosphere where I'm inclined to say they've reached a peak point where it should become less bloated and more laser-guided on how to promote causes and work for the better of marginalized people. Other spheres like Eastern Europe, Middle East and SEA could still benefit from the 'love bombing' approach of "All Representation is Good Representation" - without becoming too overbearing as I feel it has become - so as the population slowly shifts their paradigm to provide minorities better understanding and the opportunities they need while also having in mind their historical and cultural differences.

And then there's LATAM. Born and Raised in Mexico myself, I concluded jokingly that the approach should be to show just how equally miserable they are in regards to 'normal people'.

"Oh, so like a Telenovela?" my partner said, a little imaginary lightbulb popping on his head. I had recently been feeding him Funny or die videos about the utter ridiculousness of 90s telenovelas from Televisa where the plots are so convoluted and bizarre you really have to see to believe it. Despite how different their plot can be, they often - if not always - follow these notes:

Main protag is a poor and/or an orphan woman who suffers due to their social/race class.

Suddenly stumbles with a once in a lifetime opportunity - usually a rich family - that could make her life better.

Some bitch - usually female - can't stand the girl protag and makes her life miserable.

Destined protag lover is a beefcake that will be fought over like a trophy (extra points if he is in fact the bitch on the earlier bullet).

Car explosions, poisoning, lost or stolen kids, death in the family, falling from the stairs. . .

The protag, despite the odds, succeeds and obtains her happy ending. Main antagonist explodes, dies or is institutionalized due to the crazy shit that went through this whole ordeal.

And so, it is with this utter ridiculousness in mind that we started developing what I think might be the BEST way to promote LGBT+ normalization in LATAM.

Ladies, Gentlemen and all in between, I would like to present to you a 'modern audiences' version of the Prince and the Pauper, Telenovela edition:

El Principe y El Méndigo

Una Telenovela para audiencias modernas.

Por Da Mangaka.

[infinitejourneysinfiniteworlds]

Other Worlds Than These

Hi, shifting Tumblr! Just thought I'd make a pinned post sharing a bit about me.

Name: Selena Rose, Lena for short

Age: Well over 21

Shifting Status: Have not yet shifted to any of my DRs. Had some brief "flickers" of DRs while doing methods, and also have noticed some things in my CR are different after setting intentions to shift to a nearly identical reality with a small but noticeable change.

DRs: I tend to make multiple DRs for each "genre." A couple Better CRs, a few "original" magical DRs, Dresden Files, MCU, X-Men, Doctor Who, my Waystation (Waiting Room), and recently scripted: a Gilmore Girls DR with magic. My current focus is on getting to a Better CR or my Waystation.

About me: I live in east Texas. I'm an artist and a writer. I have been practicing witchcraft for a long time. I live with chronic illness that severely limits what I'm able to do in my CR life, which is one reason why shifting is so special to me. I used to live and work at various resorts around the country, seasonal work often in national parks, traveling a lot, but had to park my butt in Texas after my body decided to nope out on me. I have a dog that I adore.

How I view shifting: I tend to waver a bit between the consciousness theory (i.e., we create our realities/experiences, see Neville Goddard, Jane Roberts/Seth, etc.) and multiverse, and sometimes lean towards a more psychological explanation (i.e., something that happens in the brain, nothing to do with psychosis or mental illness so don't come yell at me). Honestly, to me, shifting is something that is still very much unexplained, and while musing on the mechanics of it is fun sometimes, in the end I'm more interested in the experience than an explanation.

Permashifting: I am planning to permashift when I feel ready. There's a lot of discourse about permashifting, where some are in favor and some are vehemently opposed, and everyone has what they perceive to be good reasons for those views. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Please respect my decision to do what I feel is best for me. It's not a decision I approached lightly.

DNI: Homophobes, transphobes, racists, misogynists, and genocide apologists aren't welcome, period. You will be blocked. Religious fundamentalists who come here trying to say I'm going to hell or worshipping the embodiment of evil will be blocked. Polite skeptics are fine as long as you're not trying to push me to your way of thinking, but rude anti-shifter trolls will be blocked. In general, rude, argumentative people and trolls will be blocked. You don't have to agree with everything I post, and that's okay. Just don't be a dick about it.

Minors: you're welcome to reblog my posts, but I will not be engaging one-on-one with anyone under 18.

[starjxsung]

brb lemme book a flight so i can come to the u.s and do your nails 🫡🛩️

also omg life update ig butttt ive always dwelled on the fact that im taking an extra year at uni so im there for 5 years instead of 4. when the winter sem ended i went back to the doc where i tracked the credits/coures and other program requirements i had done–and the way i was shocked and had to double check if i was correct with how i was tracking my uni progress cos after this summer sem of taking 3 courses is completed, i'll have 5 courses left of my uni career for the coming fall+winter sem.

so if all goes well then at the end of the winter 2025 sem, i would have completed all my uni degree course requirements so i can apply for graduation. i'll (hopefully) be a uni graduate next year!!

going back to the whole dwelling thing, i focused more on how long i had already been at the school and i was completely blind to the fact that i'm almost done. i was completely blind to the progress i was making, too focused on the past instead of the future ig

but like holy shit i didn't realize i was almost done my uni career and it blew my mind when i did that tracking and rechecked and realized that i really am almost done.

since that whole realization, i've been thinking of what i'm gonna be doing after i graduate and it's still a big ?? but i do know im not going to grad school or anything, my time at uni just further cements the fact that school and i don't mix, i can't sit down and study for hours on end, so going to grad school would just be a waste of time and money. at the same time it'll be the first time where i wont have that school routine of attending class and doing homework which has also got me wondering how my days are gonna look once ive graduated. so ive been thinking about adulting recently and its quite daunting and scary so i try to save those thoughts for when im in my therapy appointments.

but that's my little life update, 🌸 anon is gonna be a uni graduate soon!!!! ~🌸

UNI GRADUATE NEXT YEAR LET’S GOOOOOOOOO IM SO EXCITED OJ MY GODDDMDKDKDJDK

I took 5 years too because so many of my course requirements shifted around when covid hit and everything was virtual. But no shame in it!!!! It was def something I dwelled on when I first realized I was going to be taking a little longer to graduate but now I look back and I’m like whooo cares the important thing is that eventually I graduated ! Completely feel you on missing sight of the fact that you WILL be graduating eventually and you’re so close to it, too! You should be so so so proud of yourself and I’M so so so proud of you!!!!

post-uni life is veryyyyy scary when you first approach it, but it’s so refreshing at the same time. It’s such a good period of time to just learn about yourself and figure out what it is that you want from your life and from your degree. There’s so many opportunities you have with a fresh degree and so much more time to just have fun and meet people and embrace adulthood for the first time without the barrier of school. Definitely scope out what you can do with your degree but remember it’s also a great time to do things for yourself and be happy. Don’t forget you’re just a human being at the end of the day and we’re all trying to make it here ❤️

I love you! And I’m beyond proud of you!!!!! Go get em 🫶💓💘💕💗🩷👼

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Well then… :)

Re: In My Life - I think it makes a lot of sense that the song is a parent talking to a child - recounting their memories and also “when I think of love as something new” (could be referencing parental love?). But while I think it’s possible that John would write a song for a child despite being a distant parent, I am also not sure if that reading of this particular song is not too gracious (as in I’m not sure John would put parental love above love for his soulmate coded companion - in reference to “in my life I love you more” [than anybody else]). But songwriting does not have to be that literal, I guess.

The songs I did not know about are:

- Remember (listening to it, I don’t feel strongly about it either way - it’s about some sort of a disillusionment and betrayal, interesting Guy Fawkes reference - could be about The Beatles given the context, ig).

- Who Can See It (yeah, no objection)

- I was aware of No Words and Denny Laine credit and... what an interesting coincidence, huh. 🤨

- Crippled Inside (hmmm, a good one. Just by looking at it - I think the first verse applies to Paul better than John, the second one has an interesting reference to Instant Karma, verse 3 seems generalized - but yeah, if it’s in some way about Paul or John, it’s pretty heavy)

- Some People Never Know I knew about, but I always felt like John might be only referenced (he’s “some people” lol, maybe “only fools” if we are willing to open our minds), but otherwise it’s addressed to Linda.

- Another Day how???

Could you tell me more about Day Tripper? Or post a link if you talked about it before? I can kind of see where your interpretation is coming from but I want to know!

Oh I hear you re: In My Life and John's take on the "levels" of love. I do think the song is interesting because, while it's placing the person on a pedestal it's specifcally not outright dismissing the past. And yeah, reading the song from the perspective of a parent does generate my probably favourite reading of "When I think of love as something new". I'll say, I think he may have only adopted that soulmate attitude after meeting Yoko. Like, clearly Yoko shifted how he approached relationships, so it's possible he had a less all-or-nothing attitude before he realized that was an option. I'd even say the way he described meeting Yoko as "teaching him" that someone could be everything to him would even indicate that.

WELCOME TO THE NO WORDS CIRCLE! lol

Nice catch with the Instant Karma! parallel. That's another song I forgot to mention actually. I feel I'd place it in the "I like to think it's about Paul but I'm not sure" category.

No yeah, that's what I meant with Some People Never Know. If John is anyone he's the person who "never knows" (which, if it IS about John is actually kind of harsh lol… though also apt for Mister Divorce Prediction)

Huh, did I mention Another Day?? (outside talking about the line in (Just Like) Starting Over?)

Re: Day Tripper

the source for the highlighted quote is David Sheff's book (so the full Playboy interview).

Basically, given the period when this song was written, I don't see how the fact Paul had recently outright refused to drop acid with him wouldn't be at the forefront of his mind when writing a song about this concept. Paul would have epitomized the subject matter at the time of writing. I sort of think of it as Paul up until now having been fine trying out drugs with John (prellies, weed) but suddenly backing out. That's how I read the "one way ticket" lines and "she took me half the way there".

Also, and I have no clue how much they discussed what this song was about, but the way they trade off the vocals is delicious lmao.